#( bc now im what? too shy? )
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Filing this one under a crossover-AU no one asked for but I've been rotating in my head so now I'll subject you all to this very rough sketch but not really develop further
OKay but. I've been thinking about how if Monster was set in the WHA setting it has a lot of potential. I don't think Tenma would be a witch, he'd be an unknowing doctor but he'd get sucked into the politics of the witch-world from saving a brimmed cap apprentice on his own. Those familiar with the two can imagine how the rest would go down. But I like to imagine that the entire time Tenma would never learn about the secrets of magic, sure, he'd get close to it, but it would never become part of his practice and remain an unknowing. I think it's also really interesting the relationships that can be made between unknowing and witches but ahh... I don't think I can put into proper words at this moment
#no tags bc this is SO extremely niche and im shy to share with the greater fandom tags LOL ;_;#hey but if by chance someone thought about this... or is now thinking about this... hiiiiii 🥺#I'd also kinda been thinking about what an Elden Ring crossover would be like too bc im normal trust me
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there is a very specific image in my head of early-mid 20’s iwaizumi hajime
#iwaizumi x reader#and he’s the guy taking on an internship in his senior year with minimum load for his classes#bc he’s planned it all out since starting college#you see him in parties because he has the time & he works so hard it’s only right he plays hard too#every time you lock eyes he gives you a small smile#there’s an air about him that isn’t cocky but isn’t too shy; a comfort that settles into his skin like he’s sure of who he is#—of what he wants & it definitely isn’t hauling up his drunk friends and a few acquaintances up his car#but some of them are your friends and you’re helping him so maybe it isn’t so bad#he drops you off with your roommate and you rarely see him after#until you spot him at some bar (again) and he’s wearing a tight fitting polo (it’s his uniform you later notice)#it’s a year or two after your graduation and when you lock eyes across the room there’s something so familiar yet wholly different#he’s confident now & maybe a little flirty too when he tells you he’s working as an assistant to shadow one of his mentors#you catch up for the rest of the night and your friends have long since gone ahead#he still knows what he wants and it’s to bring you home—not that way (not yet); you’re a little suspicious because#you know there’s /something/ but he drives you home like a gentleman. without really trying anything (and maybe part of you wishes he did)#it’s iwaizumi though and he knows what he wants—to ask you out properly (one he’s been thinking about since chance encounters in uni)#and he’s hoping that when he asks you can tell just how much he likes you#hajime#i want him so bad im crying#there is a whole workd of backstory to this but i got lazy typing it#shotorus.bubble
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i've had a vision of aiden and black magic by little mix and now i'm knee deep in a modern magic au where aiden sells cheesy love potions by being hot (it's a scam)
#nart#aiden kane#fence comic#digital art#i banged this out in like two hours bc THE VISION WAS THAT STRONG#anyways so i imagine this au to take place in a world were magic exists but its very chill#i just want aiden to be a hot merchant idk#he lives with harvard ofc who instead works for like a law firm or something actually important to the world#and then they kiss#aiden has a sort of aura magic where he can see what people are feeling mayhaps?#and harvard has close foresight so he can always see if someone is about to get injured or similarly (so hes always worrying/reassuring)#somewhat inspired by sacrificial by pavlovee but too shy to tag them and also its basically not even related#but go read that fic its so good!!#also i think seiji would fit in and he would do very cool storm related magic????#and to ME nicholas has like flickering magic that hes trying to work out what it is#and maybe its connected to his belief in his abilities? stupid comparison but like the rise of the guardians movie#and robert coste is like one of the most important and powerful mages thats now retired or something to that effect#eugene also can make things levitate in my mind#which means he can just lift his siblings in the air if theyre getting into trouble#ok im gonna shut up im going insane#also glass is HARD to draw so forgive me for that thing#fence fanart
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[Image Description: Two unfinished digital paintings / sketches of the hatchling and Hal from outer wilds. they are standing with their arms around each other and the hatchling has their head leaning on hal's shoulder as hal watches the supernova in the distance through the doorway of the museum. the first image is the scene viewed from behind with everything lit in bright blue with dark shadows. the second image shows hal's face looking in fear towards the light and is only partially colored, the rest sketched over a gray background. End Image Description.]
something you'll run back in for when the house burns down
#im going to post something on halloween but also want to post like sketch compilations and unfinished stuff#bc I draw alllll the tiiimeee and theres so much and its just going to get buried in my hard drive if I dont do anything with it#I'm so shy to post this but im in a good mood today so ok you can have the hal post#::) hal.#I wanted to finish these sooo badly and I still want to - it might take me completely reworking it again though :P#im scared this will become one of those pieces where i improve at anatomy more then look back at this one and be like. Gah what was I doing#honestly thats already happened. these are from several months ago#I kept their expression kind of neutral.. both because I dont think I could accurately capture the sheer dumfounded horror.#also because my heart will shatter into many pieces if I draw hal too sad#anyway the caption is a lyric from alone by tresspassers william#the album that song is from is called different stars and its one of my favorite albums ever ever <3 its very somber but I love it#this song doesnt even remind me of these two thaaat much#but theres other songs on the album that do more.. like vapour trail... and anchor oh my god. anchor...#and if you cant steer then it would be safer to drop the anchor 🤔🤔#ok I'm done talking now bye hal fans#outer wilds#outer wilds spoilers#very early spoilers. lol sub 23 minute spoilers#hal outer wilds#hatchling outer wilds#the hatchling#timber hearth#. I guess?
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dis is new sona critter im workshopping. its a boy and no special name for it bc its basically an off-shoot of sunnie so yah
#it works as a general sona but it was sort of meant for a series too...#<_< im a bit shy abt what it is tho...#bc it is a bit cringe to some folks but it tickled me pink a little.#cause it is similar to thing i hold close to my heart right now that i made#my art
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🫖🐭☁️🍚
#so i did meet my old friend from years ago yesterday. i was sooooo nervous omgggg. and i was waiting outside the café we agreed on#and then saw them walk in and i was like omgggg. the anxiety... but then i gathered courage and walked towards it and thry saw me thru the#window and came out and immediately hugged me. then they were like 'omg i've been so nervous. even more than before like a date!!'#so that made me relax a bit. i feel like i dont really fully estimate what i mean to them. maybe they care about me as well haha !!#then we just got our stuff and i chose a smoothie and was ready to pay but they just got it with their stuff (they work at this chain so#they got a discount). i feel so so bad & anxious when someone else pays for me. like i feel like a burden#but i asked twice if i should send them money for it and they were like no that's fine. so i had to tell myself to just shut up abt it 🥲#bc if u keep asking u make it into a thing and make them uncomfortable etc. so i really appreciated that and it was nice even if i felt bad#but yeah then we just sat down and talked. and it was so much easier to talk to them than i had been worried abt#like it flew nicely and yeah.. i feel like i forgot a lot abt them. like they're good at conversating. so they kept it going & even if i was#awkward it was fine for them. i did however get swept up in my own anxiety so as they asked me questions i answered#but then was too whirlwindy so i didnt really ask as much back and there were things i wanted to ask but didnt :')))#then they had cards and a card game with them. so we played for a bit too. and it was a lot of fun!!! (i was anxious and kinda slow lmao#bc when i dont know smth or the rules etc already my brain stops working so yeah.. even if it was simple games i was like um um what do i do#felt stupid but yeah again they didnt do anyhing to contribute to me feeling stupid but i still felt slow >.<#but i still thought that was so much fun. i wanna do more of that T-T like yeah...that was nice#then we took a lil longer walk to a bus stop before hastily said goodbye bc the busses came T-T#it was really really really nice tho. i have missed them a lot#and i didnt .. think we would ever see eachother again. i really didnt think this could happen#im so glad i somehow got brave enough to message them and im so so glad they wanted to see me too#i cant help but wish i could go back to when we were younger#and we spent every day in school together and messaged during the days and evenings and spent sm time together#when we went into the city like several times a week and took long walks. ahh... well. im glad we got to have those moments#& idk what will happen now. i really really want to see them again. even if we'll never be that close friends again i'd *wish* that we could#still be in touch. but im so bad at replying which doesnt go over great with them.. i'll try my best to reply quicker to them#*if* they message me. sadly i cant erase my avpd but i'll try my best to reply faster if and when they message)#they also complimented my sweater i was wearing (which is my fav sweater) !!!! and yeah.. they looked so cool. which they always have#and i kept thinking abt how nice their eye makeup was (i was too shy to compliment it tho bc im really bad at like 'nice' affectionate and#anything feeling related. like im so bad... so i couldnt say anything </3)#ugh it was just so nice to sit and talk with them. im so glad i went despite my fears. bc this was so good and nice :')))
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jing yuan and yanqing are giving zhongli and xiao if the latter’s canon relationship was Actually fanon’s made up father figure/adopted child dynamic
#idkkkkkkkkkkkkk who looks at zx and is like 'you know what. this is a healthy parent child relationship'#like girl by fitting them into father son boxes you are actively making their relationship imbalance Worse#if you do that and dont shy away from it i respect that but if you say dad/son makes their relationship more wholesome or whatever like WHY#now i wont deny shippers might do that too but i see the dad son version so much i think im just averse to it by default#also because i think father son makes people actively Try to make their relationship something that its not and it erases a bunch of subtlet#subtleties in it. it's the nuanced r/ship -> entirely unproblematic and flavorless r/ship that i hate#also the number of people who'll block if you ship zx. like damn thats crazy you guys really think theyre father son (fake)???#at their peak they're like. 4000 year old guys who have too much history and repression and some weird entanglement of 'nah im bothering him#too much' and 'gotta protect him w my life' complexes. and then this devolves into theyre never gonna kiss until 3000 more years have passed#listen they just Contain Multitudes idc if you dont ship it just dont make it into dad and son and we will be so gucci#jing.yuan and yanqing are like different i think mostly bc yanqing is actually like a minor and jing yuan is also a normal ish person#plus the light cone and the abouts?? yeah this is an actual like adopted parent/child thing#also good or bad news i caved and am now playing hsr. the plan is to pull yanqing and then go on infinite hiatus in the game 👍#JWKFLJWEK i dont think theres really any draws for me besides him. personally neutral on turn based combat and the open world isn't giving#the only saving grace i have rn is 1) ive gotten to the part where bron.seele is real and man theyre gay 2) trailblazer trio 3) tall female#mc 4) everyone has way better emoting abilities than genshin 5) su.shang's really cute <3#the story doesnt really interest me though its like cool but not mindgrippingly interesting#tbf i think genshin is the same way storyline wise (at the beginning) but the difference is that turn based combat isnt really my thing LMAO#ramblings!#zhongxiao#if you want to filter it out ??
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dating an art student was so crazy I'm just thinking abt that one birthday I had where my ex got me stickers from the etsy of the person they were cheating on me with....
#they made them address the thank you note to me and everything ajskfjfkfb. i didnt know they were cheating at the time but wow...#every time i break out my sticker collection and see them im reminded of it. but i cant throw out the stickers theyre deltarune ones 😭#like they were a rly cool artist.... just unfortunate that happened 💀#the drama was insane. my ex only wanted to sleep with them but they (other person) wanted them to break up with me so they could date#but my ex dumped them rly harshly for suggesting that i guess 'romantic' cheating was a step too far even for them lmaooo#i heard abt their breakup secondhand and god could they be cruel sometimes. they made fun of the sex theyd had w them#to all their mutual friends n everything i actually felt so bad for the other person when i found out. at least our breakup wasnt that bad#i only finally got that cruel side of them directed towards me like a year after when they wanted us to stop being friends#but yeah. its also funny in a way bc my ex only suggested i had adhd bc the other person did too + struggled a lot with rsd#which i guess they found out when they broke up with them. and then looked at that and thought huh my gf is kind of similar...#and this was like. 2 years before i even considered i had adhd myself and sought diagnosis ahdkfidjcjdjfjfjfkdbfnf#this made me go look the other persons art page up on instagram + then i recognised some of their friends/flatmates art pages and i found#their (my exs that is) grad year film which is still being shown at animation festivals... good for them good for them#i dont think they have an art page themselves tho cuz they were always v shy and weird abt sharing art on social media#like everyone else except them is tagged on things... shame i wouldve liked to see what they were making now. even if we're not friends#also one of their old roommates made some REALLY similar squid game fanart to mine like a month after i posted it huh..#not mad abt it or anything i think its cool i just didnt realise they showed my art to their friends. thats cute#ah this was years ago anyway. getting my head out of the rabbit hole#im gonna go play some elden ring and then maybe do smth fun in my sketchbook we shall seeee#.diaries
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was taking screencaps of shri’iia and astarion making out in the sewers like the little rats they are and I just caught shri’iia’s shy smile…..omg……what if I ended it all….
#man I love her smile lines too it is so cute to me#I found a mod that reduces its appearance im like nooooo…. I can’t be without her cute smile wrinkles#mmmhm shri’iia’s journey with expressing affections is like. it’s not that she’s against it AT all it’s more like her forms of affections#before we’re literally let me kill this person for you PLEASE dog tail wagging I want to please you so bad and the only way I know how is#to ruin people’s lives for you 😍😍🥰 like see how useful I am to you don’t you love that praise me#please please pleeeaaseeee……..!!!!! 🥹🥹 but now she has to be more normal I think#like acts of affections is just SO new to her and she is just shy because she doesn’t know how to handle it yet. but once she does and#she’s more comfy with it she def likes it … like I was thinking she prob has never hugged or been hugged before#the first time she was held she’s like 🧍♀️❓❓ what are you doing and what do I do.#it’s like when u adopt a stray and they’re not used to being loved yet <- literally her#but she’s learning hehe 🤭 and in the epilogue she goes around hugging everybody bc she discovered she likes to hug and hold and be held etc#her love language is def acts of service ..#shut up about bg3.#bg3
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#personal#ladies... its lovesickness on the menu again tn NDNNDNDNDMDMDNDMDMDMDM#god help me#i made it like 29 years without this. why now NFNDNDNNDNDNDNDMD#like ok im happy to be experiencing this in the sense that like... now ik what it feels like to really like someone#but man oh man is it... A Lot#and like maybe its this intense at any age. but idk..... it feels like So Much.....#and im freaking out bc i talk to my mom about it ok. and shes like oh ya that reminds me of how i felt with ur dad in the beginning n im#just... like ... o#bc my parents were like friends first and are like in Love love and have a v happy marriage so im just#the... Potential of having that n like oh god idk. i just dont know its all too much......#and im also like what if its all in my head. but then again like why is he waiting around for me n messaging me out of the blue.#i also caught him staring at me n looking away after i caught him. i just..... idk like i wanna Believe so bad but im so scared too........#im all over the place JDJDDMDMDMDMDMDMDNJDND#but i also am just..... i'll be patient .... bc rushing is no good#like idk. i feel like things have been Moving. and its not super fast but its a pace i can handle#bc ok say i Do ask him out or he asks me.... then oh fuck. then all the Scary things happen. like ok not scary#i dint think itd be scary with him#but idk.... physical... things. would start happening n like. id l9ve to hold his hand n like k___ him ok OK. but at the same time i just..#idk !!!!!!! im v shy !!!!!@@@@@ and ya. ....... idk 😭😭😭#like i like him so much that i think id want him to .... i just .. ya idk.#getting kind of ahead of myself here but what else is new
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conversations on love #3 (gojo x reader) lil snippet sneakpeak!
Print photos aren’t as important anymore when cloud storage spaces are just as–if not more–accessible, but Gojo is admittedly sentimental despite every front he puts up to hide it.
He’s kept every single gift you’ve given him and camouflaged it as decoration in his office, and the family drawing 10-year-old Tsumiki made is still folded between the pages of a self-help book Yaga gave him when he first decided to teach.
When every moment is experienced so vividly, seen through a muddle of infinite energies, there are those he wishes could stay still—ones that take up space to remind him: ‘this is real, it happened, and because of it your life is irrevocably changed’.
For the longest time, Gojo has kept a photo hidden, locked away in the drawer by his bedside as if keeping it there means the memory will stay guarded forever—untouched, unspoiled, unruined.
It becomes clearer to him then, by the look in your eyes and remembrance soft-spoken, that what good is a photo unseen?
What good is a love unwitnessed?
#my lil gift for those waiting patiently for col 3 !#i am sorry this will take a while ! but i am trying to write it with utmost care :')#<- this only means im being rlly choosy with everyth abt it HAHAH#this is also a mishmash of lines ! so there are stuff in between them that r in the full fic#but just didnt want to include here bc i didnt wanna spoil too much !#so if it sounds a bit disjointed ?? thats probs why#🫣🫣🫣🫣🫣#ok that is all now im SHY !#this fic will be dedicated to niku and dilly who are so supportive ! cheering me on !!#and to sera for slight teen-dad gojo and cruel summer influences :'----)#also there is a kind of jump from 'tell me about love' to col 3#so gojo goes thru a bit of development HABSHF#so he can feel really different in this one compared to 'do you believe in love?' and 'tell me about love'#but that's d whole POINT ! i think#my intention for the entire conversations of love coll. is to see varying reflections/perspectives of love as gojo experiences it over time#im bLABBERING TOO MUCH !#shotorus.process#col tag#u can also try to guess what the photo is#but writing it broke my heart#HAHHAHAHAHAH
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#ok I’m so proud of myself bc this involves finance which is something I avoid at all costs but like I did it!!#my work failed to process my check which I should have received yesterday. I’m now expected to get it next week#and part of growing up poor is like. idk. this learned helplessness or defeatist attitude with money problems#like ohh it’s my bad I should’ve had more savings to cover waiting an extra week or longer for my monthly check#and historically I just shut down and panic while doing nothing bc this is my biggest possible stressor to come across#but!!! being around rich people? I’ve learned they negotiate!! and demand to not be inconvenienced!!#my work was like ehh I’m sorry too bad so sad about your check and I was like actually no#I explained how this impacts my ability to pay rent. my credit score. how they didn’t inform me in time to stop bill autopay#and asked what their detailed plan is to fix this#and within an hour admin was scrambling. four different people emailed me apologizing for the mix up#and they worked it out with finance to get me a $2000 loan to get me by until the check hits#but I was like actually no. I won’t be paying interest on this because I shouldn’t be penalized for your error#and so they GOT RID OF INTEREST#0% interest cash advance essentially that covers all my bills#I picked up the physical check for the 2k today so it’s legit thank god#I thanked everyone involved and remained extremely polite#and they said if there’s any other questions you have please let us know#so I was like actually you know what lmao#I explained that I’ve incurred fees for overdrafts and returned items due to bill autopay that I couldn’t cancel due to them informing me#basically the day of my check being late#and so I specifically said I’ve incurred $270 in fees at this point as a result of your error and I shouldn’t be expected to pay this.#and!! they just said… okay!!! I just got an email that they’ve processed a secondary check for $270!!#so like?!?! what?!?! is this what life is like when you don’t shy away from discussing money?!#im genuinely shocked. this is a life lesson. I never would have imagined this outcome#thank god I decided to not take it lying down
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if i had the budget and the self confidence for my dream wardrobe id be unstoppable
#also the events to wear things to but thats a problem for after i secure the first two things#im excited to kind of like. curate a wardrobe im excited about now#considering i gave up the majority of my closet in the move + it was almost all shit i bought at least five years ago and rarely wear#but im def waiting until ive been back boxing a few months bc my arms n probably thighs also will get bigger#n theres no point buying stuff now where the sleeves wont fit in three months yk#what was i saying? got distracted thinking about how sexy boxing is sorry#um idk i want hot clothes but im too shy scared broke for it
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🌷🕸️
#i've been thinking about this quite a lot on and off for a while#but to try to process it more i just wanna try to vent:#my sexuality is very messy. even inside my head. so scary. so complicated...?? so just thoughts of it are scary#and like there has only ever been one person who like just thinking about sex with has felt like good#not scary or terrifying. not with all of my avpd symptoms woven in (like one is that idk if i could ever have sex w someone#like actually be with them and be able to look them in the eyes and then also keep talking to them afterwards and not just run away and#never see them again. that's just one thing and this isnt abt that so anyway#like yeah just thinking about sex w him feel ok. safe and comfortable. and enjoyable and like i can and want it#which is smth like... with my other crushes before i've fantasized abt having sex w them but it felt bad and scary ://#and like i didnt actually want sex w them...#and with this person that isnt there. it's scary in a way since like im not experienced at all and idk how it feels irl 💀#but not in the way i usually feel abt it!!!!#so this just in my head#plus the fact that like talking and expressing some of my thoughts TO him ... felt good and safe and comfortable#is actually such a gift from him.... and i'll always treasure this (one of many things haha ^^)#bc he made me experience this and that i can feel good and ok and safe about it#i do feel sad that when this was current i was so cautious and shy bc it was so new to me#i was feeling smth real and genuine emotionally w him and i wasnt just saying stuff ... if that makes sense lmao#hmmm... yeah i've never felt good abt it before that w him. so it was so so new. and i couldnt quite get used to it fast#now im getting messy in my thoughts again sksksk#i just feel like this meant so much to me to just have had it#and idk im just so happy to know that these feelings are possible for me .. and i feel thankful for him that he gave me this not so little#thing/feeling/experience#now... the thing is... he is the only one i've felt all of the things with. like attraction/safe/comfortable/taken seriously etc etc.... so#umm what do i do now? 💀#ig either way im glad i know that this exists for me and that im not incapable of it. even if my avpd makes me feel that way#ok.. skurr skurr?#but yeah sexuality is so fkn scary for me idk it just gets too much i wanna cry T-T
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#it's so weird trying to describe yourself when u really aren't something u used to be#like until i was probably 21 or so id say i was shy. very very shy. but now im like was that even true? was i ever shy bc im not now#maybe i was just quiet and anxious. maybe thats just what being shy is. but im still both of those things but im not shy#im sorta like a hermit. i dont really go around ppl if i can avoid it but i dont hate being around ppl. its just that im less anxious when#im alone. but if u put me around ppl i like to talk to them so im not shy. ill say whatever. i dont really give a fuck#but if u throw me in a group i go back to being a non entity. i guess thats just being an introvert with an asocial streak#thats a thing i noticed while i was at the grad weekend i attended in march. the group would gather and do things while i kinda just#wandered away from them to poke at trees and sit in the snow. i dunno i just feel better away from ppl. my brain gets a lot louder if ive#been too social. which is a shame bc its interesting to watch ppl and understand how thry work#my friend came over to day goodbye before i leave next week. which was nice. i wish we would have hung out more in person but so it goes#and i think in my head im a lot more contained thst i actually am. like if u set me a task that becomes my focus but im also sorta all over#the place. partly bc i think my brain works on like a lag. and also my mood is a little elevated rn so im sorta like *jazz hands* and#talking too fast and too much and oversharing. yesterday i was instrucing an undergrad and felt so bad bc my brain was all over the place.#could not b made linear. im tired now tho bc theres nothing more draining than being emotionally honest and talking for like 2hrs. woof. it#so hot. like fucking so hot bc the monsoons have started and humidity is up so my swamp cooler is fucked and its gotta b at least 80 degree#inside my apartment. holy christ. and the temp has been over 100 degrees for like at least 2 weeks. its so hot its kinda alarming. and im#glad my friend was also freaked out by how hot its been bc oh god its hot. and i cant focus. ive done fuck all today. but i did get rid of#couch which is so so so great. ugh. someone make the sun stop making it so hot#unrelated#its been over 100 degrees outside for like 2 weeks. not on my apartment#and when i say i wish i spent more time with my friend irl. i mean it in a distant sort of way. like thats how im supposed to feel. like i#dont kno if thats actually what i feel or i kno im supposed to b social but idk if i actually mean it
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AAAA tell me about your post canon raydon hcs!! if you please!!
answering this a few days late bc my brain is full of bees but AWWWWW HELL YAH THANK YOU!! THEY MEAN THE WORLD TO ME so!!
fair warning this is really long. i don't know how this happened. what. <3
i like to think they start dating probably a few months after getting to the human world. they had developed romantic feelings for each other a while before that (likely sometime during the vol12 timeskip because they had a lot of time to grow closer while traveling <3) but it took them both a bit to realize those feelings especially due to being a bit preoccupied with. all the problems <3 they were obviously still really close and important to each other regardless
ray was probably the first to realize the way he loved don was different from the way he loved everyone else. he probably didn't really think much about the way he got butterflies whenever he was near don until he took a moment to be like oh. fuck. a more funny alternative to this is him offhandedly mentioning the way don makes him feel to emma and norman (i am looking away from emmas memory loss i do not see it <3) n being like 'yeah that's weird huh. anyway' and they just sit there like. i know what you are
it's not that don is oblivious, at least not to his own feelings. i think it might take him a bit longer to realize his feelings for ray because he's just. always allowed himself to love everyone so much more openly and freely than ray has. don has soo much love that he is constantly giving to others that he doesn't really. see his constant desire to be near ray as anything unusual for a while. he does notice how uncharacteristically shy he gets around ray, and his thought process was probably a gradual shift from 'well i didn't really get to have a bond with ray like everyone else growing up so i don't really know what he's okay with' to 'well of course i'm nervous. ray's so cool and smart and amazing so anyone would be nervous. this is true' he's a dork but he does figure it out eventually <3
after getting to the human world they naturally start hanging out with each other a lot more. once they both have some idea of their own feelings they take every chance they can to hang out together because being around each other just feels so nice. they're very sweet <3
i talked abt this in the tags of the post that prompted this ask hsfgfg but its really sweet to me so!! i think after ray's reaction to the hug in chapter 148 don makes sure to be more aware of and respectful of ray's boundaries regarding physical touch. he tries to make his intentions clear before hugging him and give ray a chance to say no if he doesn't want to be touched at the moment. the sheer amount of affection don had to give was really overwhelming for ray at first, but as they hang out more he slowly becomes more comfortable with don's touch and eventually builds up the confidence to start initiating contact himself as well <3
adding on to that last sentence, don has no idea how to react to this at first. he is so much more used to giving others affection than receiving it that when ray holds his hand for the first time his brain just factory resets. it's not like he's not used to receiving affection at all, but he's just. a very affectionate person so when someone, especially ray, initiates instead he just gets super emotional <3 it is not hard to make don emotional and ray is at least partially responsible for 3 separate instances of don crying happy tears in the manga so. he just loves him very much ok
don would probably be the one to confess his feelings! it was something he spent days hyping himself up for and then finally did on one of their hangouts. i can imagine don stumbling over his words even though he rehearsed them several times and ray doesn't know what he's talking about and he's trying not to laugh because man he's just so cute. and then don takes a breath and just gently takes ray's hands and says 'i like you, ray. i've liked you for a really long time.' and ray is just so taken aback he's just. absolutely speechless. and don asks if he'd like to go on a date sometime and ray just loses his composure completely and starts crying and all he can manage is a shaky 'yeah...' and don is a little shocked because its so rare to see ray cry like this but then he's just so overjoyed he hugs ray as tightly as he can and they both start laughing and AAAUGH. sorry what. my demons
it might take them a little bit after they first start dating to really 'act' like a couple? they're both new to the concept of dating as a whole and have no idea what they're doing but i don't think it'd take too long for them to sort of go back to the level of comfort and familiarity they had before. ray has some lingering feelings of self-doubt over whether he really 'deserves' someone as amazing as don but being around him just feels so right and don's affection is typically enough to reassure him at least a little. if he ever voiced these feelings to don i think don would go off on a massive tangent about everything he loves about ray and how he means the world to him and probably get a little too emotional and ray wouldn't really know how to react but he would be touched to say the least and he'd probably think about don's words a lot for. a very long time
while a lot of don's poor self-esteem is resolved over the course of the series, i think he might still experience some self-doubt on rare occasions as well, and he might have trouble opening up to ray about his problems at first. don has always been very open about his emotions, but when it comes to ray he knows all the shit he's been through and his own issues might seem. silly when compared to ray's? he isn't afraid ray would judge him, but he also doesn't really feel like he's 'justified' in causing ray to worry about him when he's been through so much already. but at this point ray knows don well enough to sense something is wrong and when he gets don to eventually tell him this he just explains that he never wants don to feel like his needs aren't as important as his own, and that he wants to be there for don the same way don's always there for him. then he pulls him close and softly says 'tell me what's wrong, don.' and don just breaks and ray just holds him and lets him get it out and its just. very very sweet jdastsadgdsghgdfggfdfghjg. i;m unwell
plagiarizing my tags from my most recent art of them but their first real kiss was initiated by ray! theyre probably cuddling a bit and just talking about whatever and he doesn't really realize what he's doing until he has don's face cupped in his hands and suddenly his heart is pounding and his hands are shaking and he can't even make eye contact and he just says really quietly, 'can i kiss you?' and don is so absolutely awestruck that all he can manage to do is pull ray closer and nod and its just so. it's about the little burst of confidence after a childhood of self-loathing its about the soft tenderness they both deserve so so much it's about [stares into the ocean
OKAY those were long (<- unwell) time for some more general hcs [strikes a pose]
ray is gay and don is bi! don's line about wanting to date a cute girl in s1 plays and then ray walks into the frame and don's like oh. a cute boy is also good
they're also t4t because all of my ships are t4t. you understand
while i mentioned him being more mindful of ray's boundaries, don is just soo physically affectionate that he doesn't even realize he's doing it sometimes and it makes ray's head spin. i can imagine them walking together and don just sort of grabbing ray's hand without really thinking about it and it taking him a good moment to notice 'hey ray's face looks a lot redder than usual wonder what's up with that' and then taking just a bit longer before being like OH. fool <3
MORE PHYSICAL AFFECTION YAYY anyway ithink they cuddle a lot. ray is 'i need to be swaddled and snug at all times' autism and don is 'if im not constantly holding or snuggling something i'll die' autism and thats why they are the perfect couple
once they do get more comfortable being a couple i think cheek kisses become a very common occurrence among the usual affection, especially from don. they both get flustered pretty easily, but when don kisses ray's cheek he just melts. this also creates a scenario where if don's on ray’s left he'll push ray's fringe to the side so he can kiss him. don did this once and whispered 'my emo boy <3' and ray almost died of laughter
adding onto that last scenario, don likes to think of the most unbearably cheesy pet names specifically to get ray's reaction. if it came to serious ones though i don't think don would use them that often if at all because he just really loves ray's name <3 ray lovingly calls don a dork all the time though
don really likes playing with ray's hair. goes with my hc that ray grows his hair out a bit and his hair is also probably really soft and don loves it. the feeling of don running his fingers through his hair is really calming and comforting to ray and don's probably the only one who could get away with touching it for any extended period of time
they have movie nights with emma, norman and gilda (because im weak for the 'group of best friends ends up living together' trope) and they all usually end up falling asleep in a big pile on the couch. ray usually snuggles up against don and ends up using him as a pillow <3
speaking of friends i have a really funny hc where it was very very common for ray to playfully tease norman when he had a crush on emma, so once he notices how hopelessly smitten ray is with don, norman is an absolute menace. they are the besties ever to me
don absolutely adores ray's singing. ray hums to himself while cooking and don will just come up behind him and wrap his arms around him and just listen to his voice, and sometimes he'll ask ray to sing for him and listen with this look of just. pure adoration <3 ray's not that confident in his singing and i think it's something that's very personal to him as he really only did it as a coping mechanism growing up, but seeing the way don lights up when he sings is really really special to him and i think it'd get him to appreciate his own voice more as well <3
on the other hand ray really loves don's laugh. it's just very loud and unrestrained and genuine like everything else don does and ray's heart absolutely melts when he hears it. ray will find any excuse to make don laugh <3
ray has come a long way with his healing in the years since the gracefield escape, but he still has lasting scars from that trauma that will never fully go away and don will drop everything to comfort him through his more emotional moments and the rare panic attack. it means a lot to ray that he's finally able to cry freely and openly and don will hold him as tight as he can and run his fingers through his hair and listen to him for as long as he needs. im very emotionally stable about this incase you were wondering
ray is a serial clothing thief. don's sweaters just feel warmer somehow <3 ray will walk into the room in the morning wearing a pink t-shirt with a bunny on it and the others instantly know it's not his HDSFG
don canonically gets warm really easily so i think if they were somewhere outdoors and ray got cold don would give him his jacket without question. ray felt bad leaving don without anything to keep himself warm and knew don wouldn't take no for an answer so he settled on giving don his scarf as a compromise. don got really really emotional over ray offering him such an important comfort item and tried to decline but ray also wouldnt take no for an answer so he ended up accepting it <3 it meant a lot to both of them
don is prone to going on long enthusiastic rants when he’s excited about something and his joy is so contagious for ray he just can't help but smile and laugh along with him. he can absolutely talk ray's ears off and ray adores every word and sometimes they might even start happy stimming together <3 autistic love its everything to me. you understand
OKAYTHATS. ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT FOR NOW <3<3<3 i definitely have more but i'd have to dig for them and i feel this post is really long so <3 but yeah they mean a lot to me. here's a kinda old little doodle i'm still really fond of as prize for reading this ridiculously self-indulgent rant
#skye's ramblings#HI ASH I OWE YOU MY LIFE FOR GIVING ME AN EXCUSE TO BE INSANE ABOUT THEM AUGH <3#this is soooooo sappy and honestly kinda embarrassing but i spent too long on it and i need to be more confident so. launches this at yoy#it may seem like i just recently thought this ship up because theyre my faves and i only started posting abt shipping them recently but#well. according to phone gallery my first raydon doodle is from march last year so. ive been unwell abt them for even longer than i thought#IT WAS JUST. a leetle embarassing being like the only one who ships them despite their closeness in canon soi just. didnt post abt it <3#what ever im proud to be number 1 raydon truther <3 they just mean the world to me both separately and together. holds them in my hands#EXPLOSION. anyway#raydon#tpn#might actually maintag this later just bc i spent a long time typing it out but im shy right now <3 buries my head in the sand#amantesmortem#shrimps squad
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