#( bad medicine is what i need ) vanity

[mateoxrafael]

[strang3lov3]

Boundaries

Roman reads your diary when you're out of the house and learns all of your dirty fantasies about him. (3.5k)

Tags - stepdad!roman because I was in that kind of mood, stepcest, smut, daddy kink, age gap, (i aged roman for this so just picture him as dilfy as you'd like - perhaps pedro pascal aged. or joel miller aged if you're nasty), dubcon, some hitting, unprotected piv, blowjobs, vibrators, overstim, creampie, come eating, dom!roman - yes I know. I know I know I know. Let me have this let me pretend he’d fuck my brains out until they’re dripping out of my ears. He’s also a huuuuuge creep in this but I’m into that. I love this little dirt boy slime puppy. Fic help @beefrobeefcal for your beautiful eyes and @noxturnalpascal for your generous editing 🩷 A/N - ROMAN GIRLIES I am sorry for taking my sweet fucking time on getting him out to you in a timely manner but he can be difficult to nail down. I hope you like this icky stepdaddy version of him 🩷

Roman’s bored today. You’re not home right now, you’re out and about spending his money on god only knows what. He shouldn’t complain, though. You’re not as bad as his wife - your mother - who buys bags and bags of clothes and those single-function kitchen gadgets. He knows he’s one to talk, that really, he doesn’t need all of the square footage of his massive apartment or the fancy light fixtures or closets full of clothes he doesn’t wear. But he still doesn’t get it. Your mom doesn’t even cook.

Roman’s lonely, despite his marriage. He married your mom when you were still a teenager. He didn’t see much in her and he doesn’t think she really saw anything in him either, but neither of them seemed to really mind those facts. It was for appearances, mostly, there was never any love in it. Never any sex, either. Your mom could impress her family and friends by marrying rich, and Roman could appear to live a normal life. It makes him feel like Dexter a little bit, and that she’s Rita. Although, he feels like Rita too on some days. 

Roman checks his phone. 9:17pm. Your mom is gone too, she’s out getting drinks with her old friend from college. At least they’re out of the house. They get rowdy and obnoxious when they drink. Roman figures he might as well go to bed, so he gets up off of the couch and heads up the stairs. He’s just about to go to his bedroom when he catches a whiff of something strong and fruity coming from your room. 

A lit candle. You and your stupid fucking candles. Your room is covered in them, all different sizes and colors and scents and brands. You leave them lit all the time, and Roman’s constantly having to remind you to blow them out. But you’re not here right now, and who knows when you’ll be back. He goes around your room, blowing the candles out for you.

 Roman doesn’t go into your bedroom often, the door is always closed and locked. But he catches glimpses now and then, he sees that you leave your bed unmade with your sheets and blankets crumpled up together and he wonders how strongly it smells of you. Not just your shampoo and body wash, but your sweat too. You. And he sees clothes on the floor, a bra hung on the closet door. Bottles of nail polish and acetone and used cotton pads on the vanity where you apply and remove your makeup. Lotion on the nightstand, a jewelry dish filled with sparkling gold trinkets. All of the things that make you up. He gets to look at it up close now, messing with the tchotchkes on your dresser and bookshelf as he strolls through your room. And he snoops through your bathroom too, opening your medicine cabinet and finding razors, and Midol, and mismatched earrings. 

Roman lies down in your bed sheets to smell you like he’s always wanted to do, bunching them under his nose only to be disappointed when he finds that they’re freshly laundered. Only then does he feel like a creep, but not enough to stop what he’s doing. He’s learning so much about you. Roman opens the drawer of your nightstand and finds a THC cartridge and chuckles. You little pothead. He finds a little satin bag and pulls your Satisfyer from within it and smirks as he brings it to his nose and sniffs it, hoping for even the briefest of whiffs of your scent. Not much. He puts it back in its bag and stuffs the bag in your drawer, his fingers grazing over something else deep in the back. He pulls it out - a journal. You’re so difficult for Roman to understand at times, this is the fucking jackpot. 

He situates himself against your thick Tempurpedic pillows, ones that he purchased for you, and he opens your journal. Your handwriting is loopy and a mix of cursive and print, but he manages to make out the words anyway. There’s some entries that are just nonsense - “Bugs flew into my hair”, and “Lost in a maze, following orange tabby cat”. He assumes these are dreams you’ve written down. He flips through the pages some more, hoping that maybe he’ll come across one of your sex dreams. He wonders which celebrity it’ll feature. Probably Pedro Pascal, but he hopes it’s about someone weird like Conan O’Brien or Liam Neeson. 

Roman. Roman is the first name he finds, and it’s within an especially long entry. Not a dream, no - you were most definitely lucid for this one. There’s details, adjectives and adverbs, words like ‘desperate’ and ‘sexy’. You’ve written in detail the way you believe he would fuck you. The things you’d want him to do to you, the things you want to do to him. 

He should feel sick to his stomach right now. You’re decades younger than him, he used to help you with your algebra homework at the dinner table. So fucking gross, so wrong. Roman likes it wrong. He likes it when there’s something off about it, something that would ruffle feathers if people knew. He wonders, do you like that too? Or do you feel ashamed of yourself, do you feel sort of icky inside? God, he hopes you feel humiliated by yourself. 

But he doesn’t feel sick, he feels excited. Thrilled, even. Thrilled that it’s now 9:44, and you don’t like to be out late. Minutes feel like hours as he waits for the sound of your careful steps up the stairs, down the hall. He can barely contain his smirk when he sees the shadow of your body on the floor right before you walk through your bedroom door, face dropping as you see him laid in your bed, your diary in his hands. “Hey, kiddo!”

“Roman–” 

“You’re out past curfew,” he teases. “Isn’t very becoming of a young lady, you know.”

Your cheeks heat up and your bottom lip begins to wobble. “Roman,” your voice shakes, “P-please, don’t read that.” 

“Oh, you’re too late for that. You should have gotten one of those diaries with a lock. Like, maybe one of those ones where you use your voice to unlock it. Or is that before your time?” Roman pauses, waits for your response. He’s not met with one. “Yeah, I read it all. You’ve got a lot of insect nightmares.”

“Did you - did you read anything else?”

 His smile tells you everything. “Mhm. I think it’s cute that you think I’d make love to you. That’s how you put it. Very romantic, very The Notebook-esque. No pun intended, of course.” Roman wiggles your diary in the air. 

 You’re gonna be sick. “Oh my god,” you whimper. “Oh my god, Roman. I’m sorry - you–” you seethe, “That was private.” 

“Ooh, defensive! No, I get it. I really do. You’re embarrassed. You’ve been fantasizing about fucking your stepfather and you’re embarrassed. What would your mommy think?”

Tears begin to blur your vision and you stomp over to where Roman lies on your bed and attempt to rip the journal from his hands, but he’s stronger than he looks. He yanks it back towards him, pulling you on the bed as he does. “C’mere,” he says. “Let’s read your bedtime stories. Is this what you think about before you sleep? While you play with your pussy using that little toy in there?”

“Please, Roman. Don’t do this.” 

“Yeah, I guess that’d be rather redundant, wouldn’t it? Because you’ve written everything in here, and I’ve read it all. I don’t know,” Roman sucks his teeth as he scoots closer to you, too close for comfort. His body touches yours, he brings his face too close to yours as he speaks. You feel claustrophobic, surrounded by him. Like there’s nowhere to run. “It occurred to me, sitting here, reading your dirty little fucked up fantasies about me, that you’ve got me all wrong in your head. And that just kinda bugs me, I guess?” he says. “I don’t know. If you’re gonna fantasize about your stepdad you should do it right. Like look - ‘long, thick, and veiny’,” Roman repeats your own words back to you. “I’m flattered, sweetheart, really. You’ve described a pornstar’s dick, and that’s sweet. But–” Roman unzips his pants and pulls out his cock, already rock-hard and leaking, a pearly bead of precum sitting pretty at his slit. “See? Painfully average.” He strokes himself slowly, squeezing his cock as he does. You’re almost in disbelief, and you should feel disgusted by this. Disgusted by Roman, by his actions. Disturbed by him for putting you in such a vulnerable position, making you feel so small. But goddamn if this isn’t what you’ve wanted. You can read between the lines, see that Roman’s casualness means that on some level, he must want this too. It appears as though your feelings are reciprocated by him, and that’s humiliating in an entirely different way than being caught for having them in the first place. It shouldn’t feel good like this. 

“Look at you,” Roman says. “You don’t give a shit. You’re fucking- fucking salivating over there. Why don’t you get on your knees?”

The door’s wide open. Your mom could come home at any point, walk up those stairs and see her husband on your bed with his cock out, and you sitting right next to him, your eager eyes devouring him. Enabling him. 

“On your knees,” Roman demands. It’s not a suggestion this time. 

The memory foam mattress slowly springs up as you slink off of it and onto your knees, just like Roman asks. He moves with you, lifting his hips to push his pants and boxers down his thighs, and then unbuttons his shirt and shrugs it off, revealing his soft, lightly toned body to you. His cock stands at full mast and looks imposing above you despite the way he described it as average, painfully average at that. Maybe it’s the context of the situation. The way that if you take him down your throat, that a line will be crossed and that there would be no way to go back. 

Roman sees you weighing it in your mind as he holds his cock between his thumb and forefingers. He doesn’t want you to think, or second guess this, rather. You’ve done enough thinking to know that this is what you want. It’s why you wrote it all down, right? You want this. You fucking want this. 

With his free hand, he reaches for the back of your head and pulls you close, tangling his fingers in your hair and looping the strands around his fingers as he pushes you down on his cock. He’s met with resistance as you push back, opting to swirl your tongue around the head and tasting that headiness of him, savoring him the way you wanted to. Roman swats your cheek, “Hey - quit that. Don’t fucking tease.” You wish he’d rub the skin he hit, show you a little kindness and make it hurt less. 

 “Wider, open wider,” he grunts. You open your jaw to allow him to push himself into your mouth inch by inch. He smells musky, heady, stronger than you would expect despite his pubic hair being so neatly trimmed. He tastes salty, the bead of precum that meets your tongue tastes so bitter and rather unpleasant, just like Roman is. But you love it anyway. 

Roman takes your hand in his own and wraps it around the part of his cock that you can’t reach with your mouth, squeezing your fingers tight so that your knuckles grind against each other as he twists your hand up and down. His other hand is still tangled in your hair as he fucks himself into your mouth, making lewd grunts and moans. None of it feels pleasant, it’s just his cock in your throat, sliding in and out. It’s mechanical, emotionless. You feel like a fuckdoll. 

Roman decides then that he wants to push you to your limit, so he pulls your hand off of his cock and forces himself down your throat entirely, his hand pushing on the back of your neck, causing you to gag and choke. He displays his strength again as you try to pull yourself up, but he holds you right where he wants you with his hand firmly on your head. “Nuh-uh, you're not quite done,” Roman says, “Choking builds character. Breathe through your nose. You’re fine. Hey–” he taps your cheek, “You’re fine. Relax.”

You know he’s right. It’s like the way they say to try to relax if you know you’re going to be in a car wreck, tensing up makes it hit harder. You try to relax your jaw and open your mouth wider as Roman fucks your mouth, but you still choke on him, drooling all over and making a mess of his lap. Zero gentleness as he bounces your mouth on his cock to an increasingly faster rhythm for his pleasure alone. Tears are spilling down your cheeks as you take Roman’s cock as far down your warm, wet mouth as he wants you to. 

“Mmph–” you groan in discomfort. 

“Oh, shut up,” Roman pants. “Fuck - just - just shut up. You’re fucking fine.” 

Your nose brushes against that coarse patch of trimmed hair at the base of his cock as he forces your head up and down on his member over and over, gripping his muscular thighs for stability. You whine in discomfort as Roman really forces himself into you, the tip of his cock hitting the back of your throat. He giggles at the way you gurgle and sputter on him. “Listen to you,” he taunts. “God, you’re making this so fun for me.”

Roman moans and grunts, his head tilted back as he uses your mouth. Your jaw aches and you don’t think you can take much more. With a deep groan, Roman pulls you off of his cock. “Fuck,” he says. “Get- stand up. Up. Take your clothes off.” He lays on the bed, arms folded behind his head and his hard cock standing up tall, shiny and wet with your saliva as he watches you take off your clothes. You don’t actually consider if you want this or not, you just do as Roman tells you until you’re completely bare in front of him. He looks predatory, threatening even, as he lays there on your bed. “You have your mother’s hips,” he tells you, smiling sickly when your face falls at his comment. He knew that’d ruffle your feathers. 

Roman sits up and leans toward you, reaching for your arm and pulling you onto the bed with him so that you’re straddling his hips. He brings a hand between your thighs, humming when he feels just how slick you are. He ignores your clit entirely, skipping past it to push two of his fingers into your pussy, curling them rhythmically as he brushes against that sweet spot inside of you. “Fuck, Roman,” you moan. And as quickly as it begins, it’s over. He’s impatient and needs to be inside of you. 

Roman sucks on his slick fingers and then puts both hands on your hips, pulling you down a bit, lining his cock up with your entrance. He rubs the thick head up and down your dripping seam, coating himself in your arousal. “Come on,” he says. “Like you wrote about. Let daddy make sweet, sweet love to you.” 

Oh, you like that. Daddy. It adds another layer of fucked-up to all of this that affects you right where you need. Roman watches how your eyes go wide and your lips part. “My, oh my. Is that how we’re doing things? I don’t recall reading about your daddy kink but color me surprised, I guess. Dirty, dirty birdy,” he hums, still teasing your cunt. “Very cliche, you know, but I’m not here to yuck your yum. I will happily be your daddy.”

With that, Roman pushes his cock into you. That slow, gradual slide inside your body stretches and aches and hurts, causing you to bite back a moan. His warm, hard cock fills you just how you need, just how he needs too. Roman sort of whimpers once buried inside of you completely, but he doesn’t allow you a moment to get used to him before he’s thrusting his hips, guiding your own as he does. 

You feel unsteady and grip Roman’s shoulders for balance, he’s surprisingly broad. As he moves his hips he insists on looking at you, not with any love or adoration but intimidation, perhaps. At least that’s how you interpret it. He’s so fucking handsome - his once sleek strands of hair, all different shades of brown and gray are becoming mussed. His brows knit together as he focuses on his pleasure, his dark, hazel eyes scanning up and down your body. You fall forward and bury your head in his neck, the rough scruff on his face brushes against your skin, scratching you. 

You like the way Roman fucks you. Even beneath you, he holds all of the power. His thrusts are sloppy and harsh enough to make you forget about how disgusted you feel by yourself, by him. With Roman inside you, all thoughts are gone. All there is is the in and out, his warm hands holding you down with his nails digging into your skin as he pushes himself inside you over and over again. 

“Oh- hey. Sit up.” Roman’s thrusts still and he leans to his side to open your nightstand and rifle through your belongings for the second time. He pulls out that little satin bag and removes your vibrator from it. “You come on this thing when you’re thinking of me, don’t you?”

“Yes,” you answer. 

“Mm-mm,” he tuts. “We went over this. Yes, who?”

“Yes, daddy.”

“Good girl.” Roman holds down the power button and the toy buzzes to life, then clicks it a couple more times to increase the power. He wriggles it between your bodies, “I wanna watch you come on it,” he says. 

It’s less than a moment before he’s back to fucking you, everything now intensified with the toy vibrating on your clit. It never takes long for it to get you off but with Roman inside of you, you’re done for. Your orgasm approaches quickly, thighs twitching, moans becoming stuttered and broken with your release. 

“Do you always come this easily?” Roman pants, “Or just for me?”

“Just - just for you, daddy.”

You wait for Roman to come too, but it never happens. He keeps going, fucking you til you’re an overstimulated mess, adding insult by using his free hand to tease your nipples, flicking and twisting the sensitive buds. He likes the way you moan louder when he does that. 

“Too much,” you beg. “Please - I can’t.”

“You’re such - fuck - don’t be a pussy. You can take it ‘til I’m done.”

Another orgasm is beginning to approach, threatening to send you over the edge a second time. Those tears from earlier when you were on your knees for Roman are falling freely now. 

“Oh please, the fucking tears. Why are you crying?” Roman goads, still fucking you relentlessly. “You like it this way. I know you like it this way.”

You do like it this way. You like the way Roman fucks you like he’s an animal, how he makes you feel like you’re one too. But you need that come down, that final descent from pleasure, because it’s painful at this point. Your quiet sobs of exhaustion and ecstasy do nothing to slow Roman down yet. “I want one more,” he demands. 

“Roman–”

“Yeah, one more. Do it for your daddy.”

Roman grunts as he fucks you hard, you’ve only now noticed how damp he is with sweat, and how damp you are too. That particular thought makes you feel queasy, the idea of your sweat mixing with his. It feels more intimate than coming on his cock, somehow. This is so fucked up.

You don’t know where release begins and ends, it all feels so intense. But you must’ve moved the right way, made the right sounds, because Roman seems satisfied enough to finally spill into you. You welcome the warmth of him coming inside you, as well as the pain in your shoulder as he bites you there to muffle himself. 

When he’s satisfied, he gently flips you over and pulls out of you, his cock already soft. His spend drips from your core and he uses two fingers to push it back inside, then licks the remnants off his fingertips, humming with satisfaction. You’re all fucked out, an exhausted look on your face. Roman pulls a blanket over your naked body and pushes some hair out of your eyes. “This is on you,” he warns. “Whatever happens, whatever you’re feeling right now…this is on you. You know that, right?”

You nod. “Yes, Roman.”

Roman likes you like this. So pliant, unquestioning, willing to accept a responsibility that’s really not yours to accept. You’re more desperate for him than he thought. He presses a long, gentle kiss to your forehead just to get under your skin and fuck with you. “Sweet dreams, kiddo.”

Next

I'm really sorry about the "you have your mother's hips" comment. I know that was out of line. But I don't have self control and the ickier it is the harder I nut. (also if you enjoyed,,,,please tell reblog/send me asks/comment <3 )

tagging some friends i think might be interested based on if you've rb'd or commented or talked about my Roman stuff before <3 @dorims @atinylittlepain @joelsdagger @goldenispunk @littlevenicebitch69 @gaeela-6 @bean-is-reading @slutsoutgutsout @galarian-weezing-on-prep @cum-a-calla @pastelpinkflowerlife @kolsmikaelson @bookmarkingfics @moth-maam56 @kothku @cult-of-escapism @swiftiegirliepop @bluecookies-and-ink

[w1ngedsoul]

hi! can you do headcanons on being married to phil wenneck. please and thank you!!🩷

requests are open!

warnings: mentions of sex, sexual themes, swearing.

First of all, he would be the kind of husband to constantly compliment you and build up your confidence.

"Wow, I really can't speak, huh? Must be because of how gorgeous you look."

"There's not a single thing I don't love about you."

He's so sweet, it's honestly adorable 😭

When he introduces you to his friends, you all get along really well, especially you and Stu because of your careers in medicine.

He's the type of man to have your wedding date as his phone's password or tattooed onto his wrist.

He loves when he comes home after a long day of work and spots you humming to the radio while swaying yourself around the kitchen.

You'll feel warm arms wrap around your waist and his nose will bury itself into your neck.

He loves your scent, so much so, that whenever you go out with friends for a night away or a road trip, he'll walk over to your vanity and smell your perfume.

It's a mixture of vanilla and lavender, it makes Phil's mind go hazy when you walk past or when you're hugging him.

Phil loves pda. Even if it's something small like holding your hand or your lower back, he loves showing off your relationship. Showing that you're his.

Phil also loves cooking, you'll take it in turns each night to make tea and you'll each rate the other's meal out of five stars. Whoever has the most stars added up gets to choose a restaurant to eat out at.

Once for your birthday, he had told you to wear a pair of red panties to a fancy Korean restaurant, it was until Phil revealed a remote ten minutes that you had pieced together his plan.

The poor waiter, he took your order while you refrained from moaning aloud in front of everyone.

When you got pregnant with your first child, Phil was overjoyed. He bought diapers, dummies, toys, clothes, monitors, a small bathtub, a car seat, I could go on forever.

Let's just say by the end of your first trimester, you already have everything you'll need for your whole pregnancy.

He didn't need to watch tutorials on how to hold a baby, he used to volunteer to take care of his little brother when he was younger.

He got you to wear overalls because he thought you looked sexy in them, seeing you walk around adjusting the straps...

His mind wanders, I mean, there's not a rule to say sex is bad while pregnant...

Let's talk about Phil when he drives.

Lord have mercy 🙏

When his hands grip onto the steering wheel, while concentrating on the directions>>

I just know he gets road rage, no one can convince me otherwise.

"Move out the fucking way!"

"Watch it prick!"

🛐

Just watching him turn the steering wheel, or when he looks back while parking turns you on.

Most of the time, he'll notice the lust in your eyes and will park off to the side.

Sometimes you're stuck in traffic and he'll trail a hand up your thigh, a couple kisses are peppered upon your neck.

Once, you guys had been in traffic for around twenty minutes and Phil decided to take you in the back of the van he borrowed (what Stu doesn't know won't hurt him)

You had been in there for only five minutes when the road had started up again, all you could hear was loud beeping horns from angry drivers.

Phil would definitely try and get you to avoid Alan for one specific reason; he's a pervert.

Once, you, Phil and Alan got trapped in the basement of Stu's house without signal and Alan confirmed Phil's suspicion.

"Looks like we'll be trapped a while...y/n, is it?"

"Knock it off!"

Something that's always funny, is Phil coming home drunk.

"There was this girl, and she asked for my number and I was all like 'No! I have...a wife."

And then there's the part where he's really romantic.

"God, I love my wife. She's the most amazing woman I've ever met, you know? She has these eyes that are so bright, I could stare into them forever. And when she looks at me, I can't help but be nothing but honest with her. Do you have someone like that?"

"Yes, I do."

@bradleybeachbabe hope you enjoyed! Love you 💕

[kenlvry]

main four reacting to you coming home drunk and calling them pretty

reader calling the main 4 pretty while drunk

an, OKAY BOSS 🫡🫡

kenny

it is almost 2 am and you are still not home, he is so ready to put on his mysterion costume on and search the whole town for you. hearing a car pull up he jerks from the couch and look at the window, it was you barefoot holding your heels waving goodbye to your friends. he waits infront of the front door excited to greet you, the keys rattling to unlock the door followed with "shit whcih one is it" kenny sighs and open the door. "KENNYYYY" you hug him and kenny can tell that you have been partying hard, you reek of alcohol. "im not one to get mad at you for drinking but you need to control your parting habit, youre always dizzy in the morning and regret it" he lectures closing the door you still hugging him "boo buzzkil" he gives you the 😐 r u fr look and you laugh. "hmmm have i ever tell you how pretty you are, so pretty" you cup his face and observe it he blushes harddddddd. you have only called him handsome or sexy or hot so far never have anyone called him pretty, "oh yeah? im very pretty huh?" he smirks taking this chance to do smthn with you iykyk "i might be drunk but im still sober enough to know what you wanna do" with that you let go and walk to your bedroom with a smiling teasing kenny in suit. " 'm so pretty right?" the morning was hell and he wouldn't shut up about it "ugh kenny that's the third time this morning fuck yourself" you groan as you walk away from kenny with the hangover medicine with you "thats not how you talk to your pretty boyfriend" he laughs.

stan

you had texted him earlier that night saying your gonna be late "im goung tobe kate" "what" "latw" "okay". he sleeps before you come home knowing you didn't want him waiting on you and that your friends was there to take care of you. he was about to sleep but the door knob twisting and the keys desperately being pushed into the keyhole was too loud to not hear from the bedroom. he groans and gets out of bed heading towards the door. "hello stan 😊😊😊 thankyou 🥰🥰" you walk past him and wow tyou smell like alcohol, even he wasn't this bad. following you to the bedroom you lay down throwing your shoes and bag on the floor "geez y/n atleast take a shower first" he puts his hands on his waist. you lay on your side and tap the empty spot beside you signalling him to join you, despite the smell he lays down and looks at you. you stroke his hair staring at him "you're so pretty stan, maybe even prettier than me" his eyes widen at that like me??? pretty??? really??. he quickly realises you are very drunk and you probably don't mean it "okay y/n, get some sleep" he lightly push you by the shoulders to lay you down properly "no nooo im being honest, your face is so pretty, your hair black hair and your eyes fuck i could get lost in your eyes, especially your lip-" you sleep before you could say anything more and he just layed there with a blushed face. he gets up and walk over your vanity grabbing makeup remover and a cotton pad, sitting beside you removing your makeup. he stops to think what you said earlier and is so embarrassed, bro is kicking his feet squealing and covering his face rolling around. it gave him sm confident and remembers that compliment to this day.

kyle

it was around 12 pm that night, kyle was jus chilling watching movies in the living room and eating popcorn. you told him you'd be home a little late and to not wait for you, so he took this chance to enjoy some time for himself. suddenly the door knob shake violently and bangs from the door can be heard, he was so scared who the hell was it he thought, burglar? murderer? thief?. he slowly approach the door looking through to the keyhole expecting a fucking clown or smthn with a knife but it was you. he sighs and opened the door "you had me scared to death! and i thought you were coming home at 2??" your stance was pretty obvious you had gotten too drunk "my friends said i drank too much and i need to go home 😊" , well it isn't the first time, "cmon wanna watch a movie tgt?" "kyle i smell like im stans dad i need to take a shower" "but i miss you ☹️" "then shower with me pretty boy" he makes a slightly disgusted face while laughing lightly but stop when he remembered your words "pretty?" "mhm!" you nod your head repeatly and make you way upstairs, his cheeks were a tint of pink smiling at the compliment, you stop midway and look back at him. he wasn't wearing his hat and he rarely takes them off that was what made him so pretty, his pretty curls. you walk back to him getting reallllyyyyy close staring at him, his cheeks turning a a darker shade of pink avoiding eyecontact "uhh" "you look so pretty, should take your hat off more often" you kiss his cheek and continue your way upstairs. he just stares at the stairs holding his cheek "pretty?" he mumbled and walk his way to the couch sitting on the couch "pretty .." he loves it sm when you call him pretty and you know it so you call him pretty more often.

cartman

2 am. you aren't home yet and cartman is worried for his life, i mean he is pacing around the living room wondering why you aren't home. then he heard the door open and immediately jump on the couch turning on the tv, "oh hey, ur late not, that i was waiting for you" he says glancing at you, by how you were wobbling around it was kinda obvious you were drunk. you look at him smiling and walking over to him with wide arms "CARTMANNN HELLOOOO" you hug him and he loves it smsmsmsmsm but ofc he hides it "ew what do you want" you hop on the couch right beside him laying your head on him, he doesn't push you off despite the disgusted face you made. "mm your so mean ☹️" you make pouty lips at him, you cup his face pulling it close to you "your are so pretty you know that? i love you so much" then you hug him so tight he swears he can't breath. boy just sat there with a 😯 face on. since you were drunk you weren't gonna remember this so he decides to play along "i think yr prettier though" "NO. YOU ARE 🤨" you argued "its definitely you" "YOU CLEAFLY ARE PRETTIER IN OUR RELATIONSHIP 😒😒" "WELL I SAY OTHERWISE" you two literally argue like kids on who is prettier. you both agree that you both are equally pretty. the next morning you remember vividly what happened "sooo im pretty huh?" "i never said that" "you said that last night" "no stop being delusional thats gay".

[starillusion13]

FRIENDS!? Chapter 8

🔳🔳🔳🔳🔳🔳🔳🔳🔳🔳🔳🔳🔳🔳🔳🔳

Series ML

Pairing: poly!ateez × f!reader (An ATEEZ Office AU)

Genre: Mature, Angst, Yandere, SMUT

Warning: none

W.C: 3k

For my beloved: @oreharuuu

Network: @cultofdionysusnet @k-vanity

[Reblogs and Reviews are always appreciated. Thank you for reading and have a nice day ahead. Please always take care of yourself everyone.]

Hello, Can we be friends please?

.

.

.

"You didn't have to cut the call like that."

Hearing your whining voice, the boy in front of you laughs out aloud earning a glare from you. He leans forward to ruffle your hairs, making you more annoyed.

"But I'm really sorry for that...I was half awake and didn't know what I was speaking so don't mind me if I had said anything weird." He pouts in the end.

"It's okay. I was asking why you told me that I have studied in that school since middle school but actually I have studied there only high-school. Do you know if something happened during the time when I was sick?"

"not really...I was a transfer student and I heard from you that you studied there since middle school. We used to sit together and gradually we became friends but why are you asking these all of a sudden?" He creases his brows.

"just asking." You sigh and look down to your smoothie.

"Y/n..."

"Gyu...I thing those CEOs are hiding something from me." You haven't look up but you can feel his stare on you.

"What makes you think like that?" he places his chin on the fist.

You pause and think of all the previous months, "Gyu...I started to get along with some of them who seem pretty friendly and they told me about our friendship a lot but every time their words felt like as if they were hiding some part of the story. And also..." you look around and leans forward to whisper, "I am remembering everything...and it's not like those dreams anymore. I can totally remember how I have spent my times with them. I can now see their faces and remember their voices and everything."

You are taking medicines for last one month and it's really helping too fast to regain your memories. The doctor told you that it's only because you are surrounded by the people who are part of the memories. Their presence, their voices and their images are colliding with the barrier and making your past vision getting cleared.

"Like...everything?"

"not really...all the happy and fun times are there but still something is missing."

"Maybe there is something...bad and if anything triggers your mind then you can remember the rest." He raises his brows and you nod, "maybe possible."

"Do you want to remember them?"

"I don't know..."

.

.

.

"Hey Star!" your cheering voice startles the girl who was earlier busy talking to the receptionist and it looked as if it was pretty much important. She waves the woman away and run towards you to engulf you in a hug. You smile, "you are here? You didn't inform me about your coming."

She laughs, "Actually, I was here to deliver some of my father's document on my way to studio so basically there was no point in informing you." She glances at her wrist watch and sighs, "also I'm running late so gotta go y/n. Fighting for the day."

Nodding to her, you watch her almost running towards the glass door, her heels were about to slip at some point but still she is a person who will fall a thousand times but will not be on time anywhere. Shaking your head, you remember that Yeosang had called you earlier because he needs some help with his assigned paper works and well you as his secretary oh-no bestfriend should help him.

He asked you to help him as his dear friend not as an office worker-secretary.

You push open the glass door to his cabin only to be greeted by a silent room with no one inside it. You crease your brows and stepped inside, approaching the bulletin board to see if he has left any sticky notes about his whereabouts but nothing is there. You glance at all the previous notes still sticking and the various little characters drawn by him in the corner of various colour small papers -he refers those drawings of tiny characters as hehetmon. A little smile appears on your face but you were yet to notice that someone is standing behind you, very close to you that he himself is surprised.

The corner of the person's lip curls up too when his gaze falls on the same thing.

"He never wants to hurt you."

You get startle to the voice and quickly turns around, placing your clutched fist above your heart and wide eyes staring back at him, "when did you enter?" as much as you are gathering courage to ask him a question, deep down you are more freaking out with the fact that it's him who is standing so close to you and alone in this room.

"why do you ask?" he asks in a low voice, one hand fished his pant pocket. His white shirt perfectly hugging his body and your eyes really not leaving any corner of his body to appreciate them. Blinking away the thoughts, you look back at him.

He is smirking at you and you fight the urge to roll your eyes, "I must believe that you all are some kinds of vampires at this point because I don't hear a sound when you all sneak behind me. you all have same behaviours at this point."

"we are brothers though."

"what? Brothers?"

He rolls his eyes, "well sort of." He walks to the chair opposite to the main chair behind the table and swivels to your direction. "living together for so many years and getting adopted by the same man. yes we are brothers. But to tell you one thing, Jongho is my real brother though."

"Do you have fever?" your feet are still glued to the exact same place and he smirks when he heard your question, "why?"

You gulp and avert your eyes towards the door and hope to Yeosang come but no one comes across.

"what happened? I asked you a question."

"you...you are talking normally to me. this doesn't feel right. I mean like it's nice that you are being good to me but still..." you look down at your shoes and cursing in your mind for blabbering nonsense.

He chuckles, "y/n, look at me. are you scared of me?"

You shake your head but he is moving his head in every direction to get a glimpse of your face, "then why are you not looking at me?"

"Um...I need to find Yeosang..."

As you stepped forward, he blocks your view with his frame and smiling down at you. Your every movement is restricted by him. nervousness visible on your face, his finger curls your locks and tugs them behind your ears. Heart beating in your ears, blood pumping to your face due to the close proximity. "San..."

He leans forwards, humming in your ears "say my name again, pretty girl."

Should I say that I remember this name? Pretty girl...

"San...I need to go."

He holds you close, embracing you in a warm hug. Why is he acting like this suddenly? What happened to him? you slightly push him and step towards the door. His eyes go wide with the sudden action but he smirks while fishing his palms inside the pocket of his denims.

You look back at him for once before exiting the door and heaving a sigh. But to your dismay, he exits the door just behind you.

"do you need something?"

"yes...you."

You stare at him for a second before making your way towards Hongjoong's office. Yeah, that's the only safe option for you. No one would dare to do anything if he is around but why this person is acting like someone has possessed him. even when he is acting nice towards you, his actions are creeping you out.

The steps quicken but you can feel him trailing just closely behind you. A wide smile visible on his face, eyes following your each panic and nervous steps and turn towards the Hongjoong's cabin. You are now confused because you thought him to go away when knowing the known path but he is still in his way, following you.

Reaching near the red door, you pause and stare at it, questioning whether to enter or go anywhere else. He stops in his track and leans against the railing behind him, he is just a few feet away from you. You nervously glance between the door and him. when you are about to knock, his voice interrupts you.

"Enter the room...he knows you will be here."

Is he fooling with you?

"why are you following me?"

He starts laughing and brushed his hair back, "I can do anything in my office and you are my personal assistance so the boss can be with his assistant anywhere. Maybe doing anything. Also-"

You couldn't take any more from him, so without knocking you push open the door and are greeted with three persons already inside the room, staring at your direction. You send a smile towards them and awkwardly move forward but they are curiously watching your form.

Yeosang is smiling at you from the sofa and pats the place beside him and you approach him. Hongjoong standing behind his desk, is still in a serious mask but when he catches your eyes at him, he smiles back and Seonghwa across from him—well his expression is unpredictable. You don't actually know what he is feeling or why he is staring at you like this but you are sure about one thing that you are definitely freaking out inside because of his presence. Earlier, San was not enough that you have to face this man as well.

There is a really something about Seonghwa that is making you nervous.

"what happened, y/n?"

Hongjoong breaks the awkward the moment between you all and you shake your head, "ah..it's nothing." You turn to your side, "I was searching for Yeosang but he was not there in his cabin."

"oh! Yeah, I have given those papers to Jongho. No need to worry for that."

You nod with a smile.

Entering the room, you felt a tensed atmosphere inside the cabin and with you here, it's seemed to be more heavy air for breathing. The door opens slowly and enters the uninvited one. As if you are invited. Well, the first thing he did, winking to your direction and going towards the bookshelf near the wide glass view of the city. You glare at him but he is enjoying your silly expression and smiles at you again.

What is literally wrong with him?

Is he planning something to get rid of you?

Of course not. Right?

Hongjoong notices the interaction between you two when he suddenly said, "what is going on between you two?"

"Nothing!" you said too loud earning chuckles from two, Hongjoong raised his brow and having an amusing look and the last one enjoying the situation a lot.

"Joong, there's a lot going on in your office."

"what do you mean?"

"My pretty girl is being a curious one these days and asking about the childhood stories from others. Why?" he said and flips the page of the book in his hand.

Your ears perk upon the words coming out his mouth. Why is he saying it like he is suspecting you for something? Seonghwa smiles and stands up, he takes off his coat and walks towards you. You are attentive to his actions. He nears your form and kneels down in front of you, placing his palms over your knees. You awkwardly smiles towards him and glance at Hongjoong. Why is he not stopping him?

"do you remember our past?" he asks you softly. You lick your lips and bit the lower lips. Yeosang caress your head with a smile on his face, urging you to speak.

"I...no...nothing..."

You lied. Even if you can remember a lot of things but yet you are confused and don't feel like sharing anything with them.

"but you were asking about us." He tilts his head to the side.

"I was just trying to be friends...again."

Yes. That's true, even if you started to get to know them out of curiosity but gradually, you are feeling close with them. They are really making you feel like the most important part of their life. It's not good to hide from them. It's been days, oh wait it's been months that you are staying here with them. You have become some of their best friends all over again. There are some things you remembered. And also, Some things you need to get clarified.

"that's good."

You nod to Yeosang.

"Hongjoong...you asked me if I remembered something from my past right?"

"Yeah..."

"I can." You look at four of them preciously and gulp, "I can remember our friendship."

You add,"not everything...but a lot."

Hongjoong has a mixed expression on his face. You search for a particular emotion over his features but all you get is a tension visible.

Is he scared of something?

Seonghwa's grip on your palm above your thigh tightens to your words and Yeosang is shocked to hear the confession. But there is one person whose expression is unexpected, San. He is blankly staring at you but when he caught your eyes, he smiled at you. Now, it's your time to get shock. Why is he smiling?

"As far as I can remember, we were good friends...really good friends." You stare at Seonghwa, "more than just...friends."

"Y/n..."

"Can someone please explain me how come this happened?"

Seonghwa quickly asks, "what happened?"

You remain silent. You don't know how to say it. Previously, you didn't want to say anything about this to them. You were unsure of the facts being true but when you got to remember them, their memories, their every touch, their smiles, their laughs and their confessions. You are sure that all those are not just some dreams anymore but some realities that you had to forget for some reasons.

"y/n...please tell me."

You place your hand above his with a smile, "Hwa..." his breath hitches with you calling him with the nickname, "I was in relationship with you...all."

"love..." Hongjoong's voice is heavy and low but it's audible to all of you. You stare at him and lick your lips. He slowly steps forward and stands behind Seonghwa, "you remember us?"

You nod and cast a glance towards San. His gaze is fixed on you. Yeosang scoots closer to you and side hugs you with a smile. "we are together again. Now no one can separate us again, right?"

"but I want to ask you all one thing."

Hongjongs folds his hand above his chest and nods his head but a little smile visible on his face.

"what are you all hiding from me?"

"no-"

"Joong, you are. Even if there's these nice memories of ours but still there are these blur scenes which are itching inside me. Please tell me."

Seonghwa cups your one cheek, "it's better not to remember those things. Please, we are relieved that you remember us again but we are more than happy that you can't remember those parts."

"Is it that bad?"

He hesitates to reply but smiles, "yes. Please don't force yourself to remember it."

"I won't." you pat Yeosang's hand around you, "But if I remember them naturally, then?"

They are silent.

You suddenly laugh at them and they stare at you confusedly.

"what happened?"

"why are you laughing?" Hongjoong asked and furrowed his eyebrows.

"lets forget about this topic." You remove the arms from around you and also, remove Seonghwa's hands from your lap to step towards Hongjoong. Standing just in front of Hongjoong, you extend a hard towards him, "friends?"

He stares at your hand and blinks at you, "friends..." He holds your hand with a wide smile across his face. "but why are you asking this suddenly?"

"I want to start our bond again. We should start our relationship again from the first step of friendship. So, we are now friends."

He smiles at you but when you turn around, you come face to face with someone whom you were trying to ignore these days. Your heart ache to see him after confessing the truth to them. Tears welling up in your eyes. His every word, every affection, the love you shared, the times you spent, holding hands with each other, the smile you shared, the affection which is still lingering on your skin is burning all over your body and inside of your heart.

"Yunho..."

NEXT

[I might be ending this series soon coz I have few other series going on and I have ideas for plots for them but Idk how to continue this one. this series might seemed a bit of rush though.]

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[topguncortez]

Bad Medicine | Chapter 13

previous part | masterlist | next part

synopsis: The night before the wedding, and Athena can't help but think of the last time she was in this position.

word count: 3.5k

warnings: PTSD, trauma, mentions of verbal abuse, mentions of torture, cursing, suggestive language, mentions of threats, foreshadowing, steamy scene

The night was still, with the moon high in the sky. The only light seeping in through the windows was from the moon and the lights of the pool. Y/N couldn’t sleep, the nerves keeping her mind awake. She sat on the counter, a mug of tea in her hands as she stared off into nothing, waiting for the chocolate on the strawberries she had just made to cool and harden. Music played softly in the background, hoping to slowly make her tired. 

Her thoughts were scattered. She had been here once before, the night before a wedding. The night before she was set to marry someone who had promised to never hurt her. She couldn’t go through with it, she knew she would never truly love Francisco the way he loved her. His love was just too much for her to bear, and maybe deep down, she knew that he would do something to eventually hurt her. 

“I thought you were asleep,” Jake asked, startling her out of her thoughts. 

She gave him a shy smile, “It’s bad luck to see the bride before the wedding.”

“Sue me then,” Jake said, placing a soft kiss on her lips and standing in between her legs. He gently held her face in his hands, and caressed her cheeks with his thumbs, “What’s wrong?” 

“I can’t turn my brain off,” She sighed, setting her mug down. 

“Wanna talk about it?” 

Y/N paused for a beat. She hadn’t ever opened up to anyone about what caused Francisco to snap the way he did. What she had done to break him. There were rumors that flew around like wildfire, the main one was that Y/N had cheated on Francisco and he caught her red handed. The only person who had ever known the truth was Reuben. 

Y/N looked up at her soon to be husband, and nodded, “I do, actually.”

Jake nodded his head slowly, and pulled her forward enough for her to slide off of the counter before the two of them lowered themselves onto the floor, backs pressed against the cupboards. He looked over at her, watching as she opened and closed her mouth a couple times, trying to find the right words to tell him what had happened. 

“It happened-” she interrupted herself, taking a shaky breath, and Jake reached for her, entangling her fingers with his own and giving her hand a reassuring squeeze. 

“You don’t have to talk about it.”

She looked over at him, seeing the sympathetic look in his eyes.“I- I want to.” She muttered, “I have to.” 

“Okay honey, you don’t have to rush, take as much time as you need.” He said, brushing his thumb along her hand.

She nodded her head, staring at their intertwined fingers as she continued, “It was the morning of the wedding. I had just finished getting my hair and makeup done, Sophie and my mother were getting ready to help me get into my dress-” She looked over, watching as Jake kept his eyes trained on her, lightly nodding his head as he listened, “-he knocked on the door and I walked over, hearing him call my name.”

— — — ♱♱♱ — — — ♱♱♱ — — — 

Y/N had been staring at herself in the mirror on her vanity for nearly an hour. Her hair and makeup had been done, and she was sitting in her white silk robe. She asked for her mother and Sophie to step out, so she could be alone for a moment. Her mind was swimming, and she felt like she could be sick at any moment. The person in the mirror was an imposter, she thought, a liar, a fake. This wasn’t what she wanted, she felt trapped. She shook her head as tears threatened to spill, when there was a knock on the door and the soft call of her fiance’s voice. Y/N jumped from her seat, taking a shaky breath as she walked to the door. She placed her hand on the door. 

“Shouldn’t you be getting ready?” Y/N asked, keeping the door shut and praying that he couldn’t hear the waiver in her voice. Her heart was beating fast in her chest as she played with the diamond ring on her finger. The simple metal ring now felt like it weighed a thousand pounds.

“I wanted to come say good morning, I was too impatient to wait. This is the first step towards our forever.” Francisco said, laying his hand on the door. He had a giddy smile on his face, one that would resemble a child looking at candy. He had been waiting for this day since the moment Y/N whispered out the soft ‘yes’ in agreement to spend forever with him. 

She remained silent for a few minutes. There was a sinking feeling growing in her chest. It felt like a rock, pulling her into a dark abyss and she was clawing her way trying to break through the surface. The word ‘forever’ stung like she had gotten shot. The word echoed in her ears as she heard nothing but the blood pounding in her head. She pulled her hand away from the door as if it was one fire. 

“Y/N-”

“I can’t do this.” She murmured, eyes widening in surprise at her own words

Francisco stepped away from the door slightly, staring at the doorknob, “What.”

“I- I can’t marry you Franky- I’m sorry.” She said, trying to keep composure as the words fell from her lips.

His hands began to shake, one of them landing on the doorknob and twisting it, finding the door locked. He banged his fist against the door, as his other hand twisted and jiggled the doorknob. His breathing became frantic as his mind filled with awful thoughts and vile words. 

“What do you mean you can’t marry me Y/N? I love you- you love me- isn’t this all you’ve ever wanted?” He asked, trying to twist the doorknob harder, willing it to unlock and open, “Unlock the fucking door and let’s talk.”

“I’m so sorry Franky, I don’t love you- not in the way I should-” She stepped back from the door, eyes falling to the frantically twisting doorknob, “-I can’t marry you.”

Y/N walked backwards towards her dresser, watching the doorknob the entire way before turning as she bumped into the piece of furniture. She grabbed the post of her bed as she lowered herself to the floor. Tears streamed down her face, as sobs racked her body. Fear filled her body as she kept her eyes on the door the whole time. 

“Let me in Y/N!” Francisco said from the other side of the door, his voice getting louder and shakier.

Her hands connected, her fingers twisting the ring he had given her as she slowly pulled it from her finger. She focussed on her breathing, blocking out the banging on her door, and his voice slipping between the cracks. Y/N let out a scream as the door had been broken open. She scrambled back against the wall, protecting her face as Francisco came storming over to her. She looked up at him, visibly shaking. His head cocked to the side a sadistic smirk gracing his features. 

“Oh, doll,” He tsked. Y/N let out a gasp as he pulled her viciously up from the ground. His hands dug into her arms, as he clenched his jaw, glaring at her. His face was red and the vein in his forehead looked like it was going to explode,“Did you really think you had a choice in this Y/N? We are getting married, whether you like it or not. Mi appartieni, amore mio. Nessun altro può averti.”

— — — ♱♱♱ — — — ♱♱♱ — — — 

“He smashed his way through the door, I don’t know how, but he just snapped.” Jake sat quietly, listening as she spoke, one of his hands resting gently on her cheek, wiping away the tears as they fell.“He’d always had a temper. Gianni told me stories of growing up about how Franky would change in a blink of an eye from this sweet kid to a full monster,” Y/N shivered and licked her lips before continuing, “He somehow got me out of the house without anyone noticing, knocked me unconscious, and the next thing I knew, I was in that god awful basement, chained to the ceiling.”

Jake pulled her into his lap, his arms around her tightly as she sobbed into his chest. He had tears in his own eyes as she recalled the worst day of her life. He hated that no one protected her or that no one noticed her being taken away. He hated that the man who swore to protect her for the rest of her life, had so easily hurt her without any remorse. He hated that she thought that love was a painful thing, when it was probably the most beautiful thing in the world.

After a few minutes of silence, Jake stood from the ground, putting out his hand for Y/N to take. She lifted her own hands, feeling Jake's fingers brush against her palms before gripping them and pulling her off of the floor. He drew her in for another tight hug, feeling her shake as her cries slowly subsided. He simply held her tight, rubbing lines up and down her spine as her breathing slowly regulated once again. Once he thought she was ready, Jake pulled away from her and placed her hands on his chest, wrapping his own around hers. 

His eyes traced the features of her face, “I wish I could have done this the right way.”

“The right way?” Y/N asked, brushing her thumb against his bare chest.

“Yeah, we got thrown into this. I wish we could have gotten here a little more… organically… you know?” He pulled her in closer, brushing his lips against her cheek, “I could have wooed you.”

“Wooed me? You flatter yourself, Seresin.” She giggled, feeling his smile as his lips brushed against hers. 

“Hush.” Jake whispered, giving her a chaste kiss.

“Okay, okay. Tell me how you’d knock my socks off?” She said, asked with a small giggle.

“Well first, I would’ve probably used a god awful pickup line on you,” Y/N shook her head, “And then, I’d ask for your number. We’d go on dates, extravagant dinners that would last until the sun came up, shower you with all the best gifts that money could buy. We’d have lazy nights with a box of pizza and a bottle of wine-”

“Just one?” She asked, raising an eyebrow at him.

“Probably more than one. We’d spend our time getting to know every little detail about each other, all the little gestures you do when you talk, the different ways you laugh depending on what you’re talking about.” Jake pressed another featherlight kiss against her lips before leaning back, squeezing her hands, “You would probably make fun of the way I snore or move around at-”

“I actually don’t hate that you snore.” She said, earning a curious look from Jake, urging her to explain, “It wakes me up sometimes, sure, but it also reassures me that you’re there.”

Jake let out a chuckle, his smile widening at her statement. He let the moment settle for a minute before taking a deep breath and continuing, “One night, when I finally got the confidence to ask, I’d get down on one knee, somewhere warm, probably Mexico or Aruba, where I could watch your eyes glisten from the sun, and you can walk around naked without getting cold,” Y/N shot him a wink and Jake smirked, “I’d take you to some fancy dinner, followed by a walk on the beach, and I’d pull out a ring,” Jake had a small smile on his face as he dropped one of his hands from over hers, tucking it into his pajama pants for a moment before pulling out a ring, an emerald cut diamond wrapped in a dainty gold frame. 

He lifted the ring between them, both looking down at it, “And I would have asked you, properly, if you would do me the honor of marrying me. I know I already gave you a ring but. . . this one,” Jake sighed, looking down at the jewelry in his hand, “It’s-”

“My mother’s,” Y/N said, and Jake nodded. She would recognize that ring anywhere. She thought that the Don had tucked it away, saving it for Paulo or even Gianni to use; she never thought it would be saved for her. 

They stood in silence, glancing between the ring and each other's faces. 

“We don’t have to go through with this.” Jake said, noticing the uncertain look on her face.

“What do you mean?” She asked, raising an eyebrow at him.

“I’ll drop the deal, if you’d be happier not getting married. We can figure something else out, I don’t want you to be miserable because you were forced into this marriage.” Jake explained, causing Y/N’s heart to swell. She could see the way his chest faltered with uneven breaths, feel the quickened pace of his heart beneath her hands. 

“Jake, I want to marry you. The way we got here doesn’t matter anymore, if you were to ask me- really ask me right now to marry you, I would say yes.” She said, moving her hands to his cheeks, feeling them heat up at her words.

His eyes flickered around her face for a moment before he dropped onto his knee in front of her, “Y/N Santiago, will you do me the honor of being my wife?”

Y/N felt a warm tear slide down her cheek as she softly nodded her head, “Yes Jacob Seresin, I would be honored to be your wife.”

Jake stood up, feeling her hands cup his face the second he was back at eye level, one of his own hands wrapping around the back of her neck, pulling her into a kiss that made it feel like the whole world had stopped turning. In that moment they were the only two people left on earth, one another being the gravity that held the other to the ground. 

Y/N pulled away just enough to take a shaky breath, “I love you Jake.”

His hand came up to take a hold of her left hand, sliding the ring onto her finger, “I love you Y/N.”

She pressed one last chaste kiss to his lips before pulling away from him, “Dance with me?”

“What?” He asked, a small laugh escaping him at her request.

“Come on, dance with me. Might as well practice so we don’t step on each other's toes tomorrow.” Y/N said, reaching for her phone to turn on some music. 

“Today, honey. It’s past midnight, we’re getting married today.” Jake said, walking up behind her to whisper in her ear.

“Guess we’ll have to practice pretty quick, you’ve gotta get your beauty sleep.” She joked, hiding her phone screen from him as she picked a song.

Jake smiled as he heard the opening chords of the Billy Joel song flood through the speaker. He placed his hands on her hips and spun her around, pulling her arms around his shoulders, his own falling back to her waist. Y/N couldn’t help but giggle as he moved them slowly around the kitchen to the beat of the song. Jake sang the words softly to her, placing his lips next to her ear. 

“But I’m not above making up for the love you've been denying you could ever feel,” Jake’s voice was like silk when he sang. She wished she had asked him to sing for her before. He twirled her softly, her hands returning to his chest, as he placed a chaste kiss on her lips. 

“You know you only hurt yourself out of spite, I guess you’d rather be a martyr tonight,” Y/N sang back to him. 

Jake smirked, “But I’m not willing to lay down and die because I am an innocent man,” 

Y/N held Jake’s face in her hands, looking at the man in front of her. His eyes were soft, his entire demeanor relaxed as they held each other close.

“I love you.” She whispered, as if there were hundreds of people around them, and she only wanted him to hear her.

“I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of hearing you say that.” He replied, pressing a kiss to her palm before pulling her hands from his face, moving closer to rest them over his shoulders and leaning down to press a gentle kiss to her lips.

“Good, cause I’m never going to stop saying it.” She replied, returning the kiss with one of her own, the two of them melting into it. 

There was more behind this kiss, a sense of optimism for what was to come, and passion for one another that was bubbling to the surface once again. Jake spun them around, lifting Y/N onto the counter once again and positioning himself between her legs, his fingers gripping onto her like she could disappear at any moment. Her legs wrapped around his hips, pulling him impossibly closer to her, desperate to have him as close as she could. 

His lips moved down her jaw, kissing and sucking on her neck. Y/N tangled her hands into his blonde locks, pulling him to her chest. Jake’s hands moved up the silk covering of her nightgown, to the thin straps resting on her shoulders. He pushed them down gently, exposing her breasts. Jake groaned at the sight, his large hands coming up and groping them. Y/N let out a moan, her head falling back against the cupboards. Jake leaned his head down, his tongue swirling around one of the pert buds, before sucking it into his mouth. 

“Jake,” A wanton moan left Y/N’s lips, her eyes rolling to the back of her head. He rolled the nipple of her other breast between his fingers, pulling on it gently. He was hard, painfully hard, straining against his black athletic shorts. Y/N could feel the warmth pooling through her panties. 

“Jake,” Y/N whined again, as Jake pulled away from her chest. 

“Tell me what you need, honey,” Jake said against her lips. 

“Make me an honest woman,” Y/N said, looking up at him with wide, doe eyes. Jake closed his eyes, as her lips fell to the divot between his neck and shoulder, littering hot, open mouth kisses along his skin, leaving goosebumps in their wake. Her small hands trailed down his body to the waistband of his shorts, dipping dangerously close to where he wanted her the most. It pained him, physically pained him, as he grabbed her hand and brought it up to his lips. Y/N pouted as he held her hand. 

“Would you be angry with me if I told you I wanted to wait for our wedding night?” He asked, waiting for any sense of anger to cross her face, but she just smiled, shaking her head and pulling on his hands. He took a step back into her embrace and she wrapped her arms around his neck.

“Of course not, it’s worth the wait-” She kissed his cheek and he blushed, “-plus, it’s not like we’ll have to wait that long.” 

Jake nodded his head in agreement, peaking over her shoulder to look at her phone, the time displayed brightly on the screen.

2:22 A.M

“We should probably get some sleep, we’ve got a pretty important thing to attend today.” He said, stepping back from her once again.

“Will you sleep with me tonight? I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep alone.” Y/N asked, keeping a hold of his hands as she slid off of the counter.

“Sure honey.” He said, leading her out of the kitchen and towards their bedroom.

They got comfortable beside one another beneath the comfort of the bedsheets. Wrapping themselves up with each other and immediately feeling the rest they had been so craving wash over them. Jake pressed a kiss to Y/N’s forehead, “I’ll be with the boys by the time you wake up in the morning.”

Y/N smiled, nuzzling into the warmth of his skin, “You better not be late. I’ll kill Javy if you show up late or drunk.” 

Jake chuckled, “I promise to be there on time. I’ll be the one standing on the altar.” 

“I’ll be the one in white.” She murmured before letting sleep finally wash over her.

this is the calm before the storm. . . enjoy it. . .

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[enbysaurus-rex]

So maybe life is hard sometimes

and it would be nice if it were easier. It might not be any one thing, but maybe there are a lot of little problems that add up or thinks that are just exhausting? Disability/executive dysfunction/life/burnout maybe has you down, that’s all, and you know you can make your space yours to make it better, but what does that mean???

An incomplete list in no particular order about the Weird Shit I do to make my life less fucking exhausting, sometimes. I’m a certified adult, I promise.

More garbage cans! Put them everywhere! Next to your bed and your chair and your couch and both ends of your counter and your litter boxes and-

Hair ties, everywhere! If you have tie-back-able hair! Brushes, maybe, or combs! I keep them in my desk and in my kitchen and my bathroom and my car and my floor (I have cats) and my trunk and my bag and-

Toothbrushes and toothpaste! Gum! Those weird little single use toothbrush fuckers! Everywhere! I keep a toothbrush and kids toothpaste in my car cup holder! I brushed my teeth at 3pm while running an errand for my boss! I use kids toothpaste bc my hands hate me and it’s easier to squeeze! Big packs at the dollar store for the toothbrushes, and you can get cheap toothpaste! Hell, even if you just use the brush it’s better than nothing!! I keep another set in my shower and in my kitchen and in my bag

Loads of chairs! Seating! Everywhere! Stools in the kitchen, chairs by your vanity, shower chairs, literally??? There’s no law that says you have to stand up??? Sit on the goddamn floor if you’ve been standing in line for too long? I do it all the time? Live your best life!

Pre-chopped/cooked/peeled/whatevered food!! Whatever makes food edible for you, fckn do that! No need for extra steps! I throw a handful of craisins in my jar of peanut butter and then eat them out of the jar with a plastic spoon! There’s a food truck out there where they get worried if I don’t show up every day! I eat beans straight out of the jar if I’m not up to cooking! (I like cooking and I love my slow cooker but??? If you’re not up to it? Who gives a shit??? Get you some minute rice and some beans and microwave that shit!)

Disposable! Dishes! Fuck! Throw them away! Dishes are the WORST?? Buy some plastic bowls and some utensils and just!!! Yeet em!!! (Meal prep containers are great if u can bc you can keep reusing them if u want but u don’t have to? You can put them in the fridge if you don’t finish, take it to lunch the next day, rinse, repeat!)

Changing clothes totally depends on your work wardrobe? But fckn sleep in the next days clothes if you have to/can? Or sleep in some of it and leave the rest laid out next to you? Sometimes getting all the way dressed and undressed is too goddamn much?? Fuck knows I can’t!

Cleaning!! Clorox wipes are the love of my life and I would kill for them! Leave a box of those fucks everywhere! Esp the back of the toilet, where you bathe, and near where you meal prep, cuz that’s where you’re gonna have Waiting Time! Which means your bored little gremlin hands could clean!

Put things close to the floor if u gotta! I used to keep all my appliances (my slow cooker, my microwave, tea kettle, etc) on the floor bc I was too tired to stand up very often? So I propped myself up on walls and did my veggie chopping on the floor

If u gotta crawl, crawl. Butt scooch? Do that. Lean on walls, hang onto counters, do whatever. I’m usually dragging myself around the apartment like a shitty legless zombie extra and my cats love it. Maybe put extra pillows around for yourself if you’re a spontaneous napper

If keeping food fresh/using food before it goes bad is hard, buy frozen or canned or eat out. I sure as hell have no idea when the things in my fridge got there, and I’m lucky I’ve only gotten food poisoning like once that way lol, so just?? Yeah

Medicine bottles can come with easy open caps! You have to promise there aren’t kids in the house, but if u ever have grip strength issues or even if it’s a reason you sometimes don’t take your meds (CVS bottles, I’m looking at you), just ask your pharmacist to switch them out. They’ll do it so fast!

Charge cords everywhere! None of that ‘idk where I put my cord 😭’ shit cuz I have like? So many? All of them cheap? But they do the job

Please add more if you have them? These are ones I can think of from bed because someone reminded me that I Do Things Like This Now and it might be useful to someone

[manyblinkinglights]

Small bathroom has bad water damage so it needs a real remodel that hopefully does not get. Structural. Because it was tiled sixty years ago and no one retiled it since.

I found a sink. I know what kind of toilet. I found sconcelights. Medicine cabinet mirror is readily findable. ADA grab bars come in matte black. A nice ADA-compliant tub/shower insert exists. Floor will be black, walls white. Porcelain type things white, metal type things black. Natural wood on the meat of the sink’s vanity, natural wood corner shelves, natural wood ladder shelf or whatever else. Want it to look like the type of place with plants in without actually having any plants in (due to windowlessness).

Get DRESSED.

[whats-wild-to-you]

“do u even love me” angst (the girl says it)

with a reconciliation plz 👉🏻👈🏻

I knew you was spoiled by Jay when he was with me everyday. I had convinced myself it was by choice even though I knew the pandemic was to blame for it. But once he started traveling, he was away a lot. I felt bad in the beginning, wishing he’d ask me to join him.

The trips had gotten longer too. While initially he traveled in and out of a country in less than 24 hours, he now stayed away for days. I hated it, acting like a spoiled little girl, but only because I missed him. He didn’t seem to know. Or care.

‘I have to do this! I have a lot to make up for.’ He would then say and change the subject.

I wanted to scream ‘Take me with you!’, but I knew I was being unreasonable.

It had to come from him. And apparently he was completely fine leaving me behind.

Get a grip!, my inner voice said. It’s work! Why would he take you with him?

But when summer rolled around he did exactly that. Adding vacation days to his overseas trips. I felt like an ass for complaining, he absolutely deserved a day or two off but I was mad that it never occurred to him to ask me to come along. My job allowed it so why was he hesitating?

Doubts started bubbling up inside me. Was he not inviting me on purpose? Was he fed up with me, did he need time apart?

All signs pointed to ‘yes’ and I was dreading the confrontation we’d likely had to have.

Clearing my throat to make my presence known, I leaned against the door watching him pack his bags for yet another trip.

“Leaving again?” I tried to mask the disappointment in my voice as he yet again failed to tell me about it in advance.

“I’m going to the States for some business and then I’ll fly to Seattle for a few days. I’ll be gone a week tops.”

I debated with my inner self, then sighed. The irrational, emotional part of me won. “Do you even love me?”

His hands stopped mid-air and he threw the previously neatly folded shirt into his suitcase. He was angry.

“I thought we talked about this. There are certain things I have to do. It’s part of my job.”

“I understand that. But lately it feels like I’m being left out on purpose.”

“I’m sorry if you feel that way, but I can’t stay and soothe your ego right now. I have a flight to catch.”

He zipped up his bags and practically ran out of the room. No hug, no kiss goodbye. I scoffed loudly but even that didn’t phase him.

Hours passed before I realized I had been sitting in the same spot on the bed.

I should just pack my things and leave too. Give him a dose of his own medicine. See how he likes it.

But I couldn’t. I loved him. Even though his own feelings for me might be fading, it didn’t change a thing about my feelings for him.

Curling up into a ball, I cried myself to sleep that night. But the next morning I got out of bed, promising myself to not drown in melancholy. I’d sit down and talk to Jay once he returned. Until then I’d waste no thought on him.

That day came sooner than I expected. He had said he’d be gone for a week, but then returned after four days.

It was already past midnight. I had been unable to fall asleep, as the nights before, so I decided to read something. The familiar melody of the key lock alerted my senses and I sat up on the bed. Then I got out of bed and sat down on the stool of my vanity.

Listening in, I realized he went to the guest bathroom to wash up so he wouldn’t wake me up and something tugged at my heart.

He cares.

I waited until he slowly pushed the door open and mumbled a silent hi when our eyes met.

He kept something hidden behind his back and approached me slowly. When he stood in front of me, he dropped to his knees, revealing what he had hidden behind him.

A giant bouquet of pink and violet flowers appeared an inch away from my face and I hesitantly took it. Jay looked remorseful, but knew that simply looking sorry wouldn’t be enough.

“I’m sorry.”

It wasn’t a blanket apology even though it sounded like one. We both knew exactly what he was apologizing for.

Now it was my turn to admit my wrongs.

“I felt neglected and lashed out. I shouldn’t have. I’m sorry too!”

“You had every right to be mad. I’m an idiot. Please forgive me?”

Although I toyed with the idea of making him wait a little longer, in the end I knew I could stay mad at him.

“Let’s just go to bed.” I said, grabbing his hand. He squeezed my hand and a smile appeared on his face. “I haven’t been sleeping well since you left and I’m exhausted.”

“Me, too!” He whispered while he pulled back the covers.

“How come you’re back early?” I asked, finally nestled in his warm embrace.

“I realized what an idiot I was and took the next flight home.” He said, planting a firm kiss on top of my head. “Sleep now! I have no schedules tomorrow and I plan to spent the day here with you.”

“Here, here? In bed?” I chuckled in delight.

Jay didn’t answer, just hummed after a few seconds and I knew he was drifting off to sleep.

Breathing in his familiar scent, I, too, allowed myself to be lulled into sleep.

[hospitalterrorizer]

diary98

12/18-19/2023

monday - tuesday

8:32 a.m. and i am... idk.

i don't even feel tired really.

today my gf spent a lot of time with her family from jersey. it seemed like they weren't all going to go out, and then they all actually did. she and i woke up so late, but she went out. i didn't have to because i'm so sick. her mom brought me some medicine which is really kind of her. unfortunately, today was horrible for her mother. they all went to bars and stuff, my gf's brother made them do karaoke, it was basically a good night until my gf's mom dropped her off here. my gf was way drunk and we were busy with something when her mom started calling. the stuff ended, and then my gf called her mom, that was maybe 10 mins after. my gf was like, what's up, and i heard her mom on the other end of the line, weeping, totally a mess emotionally, talking about my gf's brother. he probably got pretty wasted too and got in some kind of argument w/ their mom. when he realizes his mom was just driving to her place, expecting him to either stay the night or uber home, he got even more livid. the argument was re: how unhappy he is with his current gf, how out of shape he is, she was probably sort of mean about it, i know she can get nasty w/ my gf, even me. i wrote here about the time she just drove off leaving us in the laundromat, and then coming back. she can be very bad, however, how my gf's brother reacted, is beyond sympathy. when he got out of the car, my gf's mom said something like "do you think you're better than me," to which my gf's brother decided to grab his mom by the collar, spit in her face, and say "yes i am and i'm only the way i am because you're a piece of shit". he then threw her drink in the face and wandered off. he also i guess cursed her out. my gf called him, and he admitted to the above, while simultaneously saying he didn't do anything his mom said, she texted the other family members he hit her, she didn't say that to my gf i think. i don't really know what he did, what he admitted to is bad enough, and the fact he doesn't think that's doing anything is insane. he probably did get more violent than he is willing to admit, he tried to play off what he did as something totally rational, and when he grabbed her by the collar he probably was really forceful with that. he is a piece of shit and he doesn't seem to understand how bad a person he is.

when i got sick, my friend in saudi arabia got sick at the same time almost, or it feels that way now. he got some kind of stomach virus. mine is comparatively less bad. now his little brother is bleeding from his ear. everything seems to be getting worse. it feels like this month began with a shooting, it feels like that obliterated everything before kind of, in terms of events or, like, anything. the memories are there but they seem so far away now. this month marks something in my life. a great expanse of the future opens, malady and terror for the living.

anyway, i really need to shower. guhhhh.

my mouth feels like hell too. too much salty food, there are sores in my mouth. everything is gross and painful right now.

i have showered. it's almost 12 pm tuesday. i've been up since like 4:30 pm yesterday.

i feel like i look pretty right now so i took a pic. ignore the blot on my upper lip . . . please .

i did not read tonight so maybe that's why my vanity is going unchecked (it's actually because i'm insane and feel the need to document whenever i feel pretty so i can look back on it and try to know that i'm not totally ugly (which feeds into the reading in another way (vanity is an impulse borne of the need to test that what you are is 'real' maybe))).

anyway in order to stop thinking about awful things happening in my life here's a picture i found while looking for photos of glass eyes;

it's so scary and twisted right? there's something so wrong with this image, i don't even think it's an insane photoshop, a girl did this to memorialize her mother i think. why??

it's a really powerful image, it feels like, dangerous, which makes me want to use it in something, but that seems maybe irresponsible. i might fuck around though. i just don't want to make something that seems like, to be interested in advancing any kind pro pig message.

anyways looking at glass eyes on flickr i found this super cute doll:

i love her outfit, it's the perfect kind of bright/grating. i'm hoping to do stuff like that this summer maybe. we'll see.

anyway, i am like, sooooo tired. it's almost 1 pm too. fucked up. i need to take more medicine too i think.

i am going to go take some pillzzz now.

i took my pillz and my stomach hurts now. that's cool. i took 2 acetaminophen pills (they were like horse pills too but the box said take 2) and then another decongestant. i wonder if i am gonna puke now. i keep thinking about puking today.

anyway to keep my mind off the pain in my stomach, uhh, i did fix one of the songs i keep trying to get right, now it needs brightening again but the vocals sound right i think, they don't sound fried and w/o any mids. the guitar in the left channel is a bit less squishy i think, all the really needs changing is i think the snare needs to be a touch brighter, and then the right channel guitars, and then lower the bass again i think.

i am really tireddd now so:

byebye!!!!!!

[mateoxrafael]

[guess-my-next-obsession]

Peña’s Anatomy — Chapter Eight

pairing: doctor au!javier peña x resident!reader

chapter rating: M (breakups, alcohol consumption, allusions to sex, injury, hospital/surgery talk, talks of seizures, big time ANGST BABY)

word count: 5.8k

series masterlist

Morning hit hard for Javier. Not only was his head aching as though it was about to combust from pressure, but one look at your sleeping form beside him in his home confirmed that last night hadn’t been a bad dream. It actually happened.

God, how did it all go wrong so fast? Just yesterday afternoon, the two of you couldn’t keep your hands off each other. Now, you lay with your back turned to him, the memories of the breakup flooding his memory.

With a quiet groan, he sat up, his head pounding as he forced himself to his feet. He had vaguely remembered the Chief demanding to see him in his office this morning, and although he’d rather be literally anywhere else, he needed to be a responsible employee. If he couldn’t be a good boyfriend, he could at least be a good surgeon.

Ah, surgery. The thing he used to live for. The thing that used to spark passion and excitement in him. The thing that now seemed pale in comparison to the way you’d made him feel.

As Javier turned on the tap to the shower, he suddenly remembered something that made him freeze in place.

No. I couldn’t have actually told her that I loved her after two weeks of dating. No. Had to be a dream.

Javier didn’t even wait for the water to warm up, his body desperate for anything that could cleanse him of his regret and embarrassment. He stood facing the stream of water, his eyes closing as he attempted to replay the events that led him to this point.

He remembers going over to your place, remembers the way you looked at him like he was a complete stranger. He remembers you telling him that it was over between you and him leaving your apartment. Everything that happened after that becomes a bit blurry.

He started drinking here at the house while he put on his suit. He definitely shouldn’t have been driving himself to the Gala, but he did. Once he got there, all he remembers was whiskey—until you walked in. Though he didn’t remember what he said, he remembered he said some shit in front of everyone that he definitely shouldn’t have. He remembered making a scene.

Great, add that to the list of things to regret.

“Javier,” his eyes shot open so fast it brought another throbbing ache to his head, his brows narrowing as he winced. You opened up his medicine cabinet and searched around until you found some Tylenol, stepping towards the shower to hand him a few pills. “Take this.”

“Okay.” He accepted the pills and swallowed them dry, his eyes combing over your morning state as you avoided looking at him. “I have to…uh, have to go see the Chief.”

“I know. I was there.” You sat down on the closed top of the toilet, your elbows on your knees while your head fell into your palms. “Are you going to tell him? About us?”

“I have to.” He kept his voice soft as he turned to actually start washing himself.

“Okay.”

The defeat in your tone struck him right in his chest. He was the one who did this. He was the one who forced you into exhaustion and defeat. Last night, he wasn’t the man he’d been the entire time you’d known him. You should’ve been able to enjoy your night, to enjoy the event, and yet you spent your night tending to him in his drunken state. Guilty wouldn’t even be a big enough word for how he felt seeing you so…tired.

“Did you mean it?” You finally spoke after a few minutes of silence, Javier turning the knob of the shower off. He stepped out and wrapped his towel around his hips, leaning back against the vanity of his sink to watch you. You lifted your swollen and red eyes to his, his eyes softening at the painful sight. “You said you loved me, did you mean it?”

“I didn’t…didn’t not mean it.” He didn’t know why he couldn’t say it now—when you needed to hear it the most. Instead, he watched as you scoffed and stood up, shaking your head as you walked back into the bedroom. Javier hung his head low before forcing himself to brush his teeth and fix his hair.

When he stepped into the bedroom, you were picking your gown off the floor. Fuck, he couldn’t take how good you looked in it last night, hating that his drama overshadowed your devine beauty.

“You could…could stay.” He spoke up from his closet, changing into his work clothes as he kept an eye on you. You shot a glare his way and he sighed. “I just want us to have the chance to talk about this.”

“We did so much talking last night, Javier. But it doesn’t change anything.” You shook your head at him as he tied his tie, his fingers shaking from more than the hangover. “What can you tell me today that you didn’t tell me last night? Oh, that’s right. I can think of one thing.”

“Bebita—“

“No. Don’t call me that. Not like this. Don’t ruin that too.” His lips parted as he took in your broken state, his heart being strangled with a plastic bag inside of his chest the longer he looked at you.

“I meant it. I did.” He spoke after a few beats, walking closer to you as you stood at the foot of his bed, his shaking hand hesitating as it reached for your face. You didn’t move an inch, didn’t react at all to his palm on your face, and somehow even in touching you, he felt worse. “I mean it.”

“Then say it.” You responded in an equally soft, whispered, and broken voice. Javier’s eyes darted back and forth between yours as he tried to muster the courage to tell you how he truly felt, but those three words escaped him.

“I…I—“

“See? There’s nothing to talk about.” You pushed him back and he felt as though he could die right then and there. “I already called Mickey to come pick me up. You’re going to keep the Chief waiting if you don’t hurry.”

“Please,” he called your attention one last time, but you didn’t turn around. You kept walking out of the bedroom with your gown draped over your arms and heels in hand.

It was over. And there was no one to blame but himself.

•••

“God, you look like shit.” Mickey spoke as you climbed in the passenger seat of her car.

“Thanks, Mick. Salt in the wound.” You grumbled and kept your eyes locked on Javier as he walked outside. He glanced over at you as he climbed into his truck and you felt your stomach flip with the feelings you still had for him.

“Did you two…reconcile?” She asked as she backed out of the driveway, your head shaking as you kept staring blankly ahead at his truck.

“No.”

“Well, I’m proud of you. That’s a big step.” You scoffed and shook your head. “It is! It shows that you’re capable of getting over him—“

“There’s no getting over him.” You interrupted and allowed your mind to flip back to all of the good times, the happy times, the pleasure. No one had ever made you feel as safe, happy, and understood as Javier did, and that was leaving out his gift for giving you multiple orgasms in one sitting. “I’m just so fucking mad at him. And myself.”

“What do you have to be mad at yourself about? He lied to you. Kept shit from you in order to make himself look like a better man than he is. And, not to mention, he put your entire romance on blast in front of all the attendings and the literal fucking Chief of Surgery last night.”

“I’m mad at myself for still feeling what I feel for him. For…loving him.” You sighed and covered your face with your hands.

“You don’t love him. You love how he made you feel capable of love. That’s not the same.” She leant her hand over to rest on your thigh, but the action only made you start to cry because you wanted her hand to be Javier’s. “Oh my god I’ve never seen you cry before. I don’t know how to handle this situation.”

“You’re telling me!”

•••

“Chief,” Javier stepped inside the Chief’s office around eight in the morning, the old man nodding at him and gesturing for him to sit down on the other side of his desk.

“You wanna enlighten me about what’s been going on between you and the resident?” Javier sighed and took a seat, his palms running up and down his thighs as he fought off the urge to cry.

“We, uh, we’ve been seeing each other for a couple weeks.” He lifted his eyes to his bosses, seeing only sympathy in them. “I promise you…there was no abuse of power or anything like that. She deserves to stay in the program. She’s bright and capable and absolutely deserves this. If you want to punish someone, it should be me. I’m the one who initiated it, the one who progressed it…I’m the attending. Don’t punish her. Punish me.”

“No one’s getting punished, Javier.” Javier gave him a confused look, the Chief sighing. “I could tell it wasn’t something fleeting when I saw the two of you last night. Though I would’ve preferred if my head of Neuro hadn’t made a fool of himself in front of the board, I’m not going to punish you for going through a breakup.”

“Okay,” he waited eagerly for the shoe to drop.

“But…I am politely requesting that you take some time off. Deal with this. You haven’t ever taken a vacation or a break. Maybe it’s time—“

“I want to work. I can’t afford to hand my department over to Dr. Hanson.” Javier shook his head at the suggestion, but the Chief only gave him a stern look.

“It won’t be going to Dr. Hanson. Dr. Martin has agreed to temporarily—“

“You want Lorraine to take over my department while I go on this mandatory vacation?” Javier controlled his volume, but his outrage was felt regardless. “No.”

“It’s not your call, Dr. Peña. Either you take this vacation, or you get sidelined. Either way, Dr. Martin will be taking all of your cases for the next two weeks.”

“Thought I wasn’t getting punished?” He stood up and shook his head as he paced around the room.

“This isn’t a punishment, Javi. I’m trying to save you from yourself. Trying to give you time to heal.”

“By handing over my department—the one that brings in millions of dollars a year since I took control of it—to my ex-wife.” The Chief gave him an odd look, Javier sighing as he realized he didn’t know anything about their fleeting nuptials. “Forgot not everybody knows.”

“Well…no wonder the resident seemed so upset.” Javier chuckled and sat back down. “Listen, take some time away. Go spend some time with your family, go on a trip, start going to therapy again. Just…get your mind in the right place again. It’s just two weeks. And I swear that once you come back, Lorraine will be gone. The department is still yours, but I can’t have you walking into the OR in this state of mind.”

“Fine. Two weeks.” He reached over and shook his bosses hand to seal the deal. “And as for Lucky?”

“She’s going to be on Dr. Murphy’s specialty for the month.” Javier felt a bit relieved at the thought of you working with his closest friend, knowing that you and Lorraine would be a trainwreck. “Go home, Javi. And try to feel better.”

“I’ll see you in two weeks exactly.” Javier stood up and shook his hand before making his way out of the hospital.

He now had two weeks of free-time. Two weeks alone with his thoughts. Two weeks to miss you.

What in the hell was he going to do?

Drink. That’s what he’d do.

•••

“You look terrible.” Rose was sat out on her porch with McCartney as you walked up to your apartment door. You gave her a weak smile and nod. “What happened? Javier couldn’t drive you home?”

“Javier…Javier and I are over.” Verbalizing the reality of your relationship’s demise made it feel like someone was slicing you open with a rusty blade.

“What? What happened?” You sighed and took a seat beside her, petting your pup as he rested his chin on your knee.

“He, uh, he lied to me. He was married before, but he purposely lied to me.”

“That’s it?” She chuckled and your eyes turned to give her a confused look. “Honey, that was in the past. He’s not still married to her, right?”

“Well, no—“

“And this wasn’t a recent thing, right?”

You sighed and hung your head. “No.”

“And he doesn’t have feelings for the woman anymore?”

“Don’t think so.”

“So…what’s the issue?” You shook your head and shrugged. “I think the issue is that you’re scared. You’ve probably never felt this way for anyone before, and to save yourself the potential of being hurt, you ran away at the first sign of trouble.”

You bit your cheek as you turned to her, gentle tears flowing down your face. She frowned at the sight and reached over with her frail hand, rubbing your shoulder.

“I’ve lived long enough to have accepted that any good thing is going to have moments of difficulty. And if it doesn’t, it’s probably not real.” You wiped your face and nodded at her words. “He made you feel good, made you feel loved, made you happy. Why throw that away over a mistake he made in the past?”

“I don’t know.” Your reply was weak, hardly above a whisper, and you knew that she couldn’t hear it. Standing up, you took a deep breath and gave her a kiss on the top of her head. “Thank you, Rosie. For always being here.”

“Go get yourself some rest and then go over to that man’s house. Talk to him. Hear him out.” You nodded and agreed to her advice, grabbing McCartney before heading inside.

•••

Javier walked into one of the finer bars in San Antonio, peeling off his blazer with a sigh. It was only ten in the morning and yet here he was, unable to think of a better way to cure the ache in his chest than with the burn of whiskey.

“Whiskey, neat.” He orders as he sits at the bar, running his fingertips over his forehead until his headache started to abate.

“Tough morning?” A familiar voice sounded from beside him, a groan leaving his lips as Lorraine sat down on the stool next to his.

“What are you doing here?” He asked through a sigh, turning his head to look at her. She’d aged, though she remained attractive. Javier couldn’t bring himself to even think of her in any sort of romantic context, but the company was nice.

“I figured you’d be here. This was our favorite place back when we were residents.” She offered him a sympathetic frown as she reached over and placed her hand on his arm. “How are you doin’?”

“How do you think I’m doing?” He snapped turning forward as the bartender set his drink down in front of him. He nodded at the woman and grabbed the glass, tipping it back into his mouth and relishing in the familiar burn. “I, uh, I fucked up. And now she wants nothing to do with me.”

“It’s her loss, Javi.” Javier turned to glare at his ex, eyes narrowed as he studied her face.

“No, it’s not.” He shook his head and turned away again. “It’s my loss. She’s better off without me, but…she was the best thing I could’ve ever hoped to have. The most perfect person for me. She understood me, something you never did.”

“I tried. You just wouldn’t let me.”

“She never has to try, Lorraine, she just gets me. And I get her. It’s easy…natural. Nothing is ever forced between her and I.” He took another sip of his whiskey before exhaling. “You and me…that was the most forced shit of my life.”

“You don’t have to be so mean. I’m here to help you.” He chuckled and shook his head before looking at her.

“You can’t help me. I don’t want you to help me.” He studied the hurt on her face and felt his chest begin to swell with guilt. “I’m sorry. Taking this shit out on you.”

“You know…I never once thought of you as a mistake. I wanted to marry you. It wasn’t a drunken decision on my part. And that morning when you’d come back with annulment papers…you ripped my heart in half. Perhaps this is karma.”

“Perhaps.” He chuckled and shook his head again, downing the rest of his drink. Lorraine stood up and patted his shoulder.

“Get home safe, Javi.” He turned to watch her as she walked out of the bar, his loneliness returning shortly after.

“Another whiskey, please.”

•••

You found yourself pacing around your living room, freshly showered and changed, even putting a little makeup on as you prepared to go over to Javier’s place.

It felt silly rehearsing what you’d say to the man that you’d spent every waking moment with for the past two weeks, but you couldn’t control the anxiety that snuck it’s way into your system.

Before, it was easy to talk to him. It was like breathing—just like he said last night. But now, your lungs felt diseased. Breathing was a little harder—talking to him was a little harder.

You knew the basics of the things you wanted to convey to him. You wanted to let him know that if things were going to continue, they’d continue slower, more casually, allowing you the chance to rebuild your trust in him little by little. You wanted to ask him about Lorraine, about their relationship and how it got to the point of a Vegas elopement. You wanted to ask him why he couldn’t say that he loved you this morning when last night it seemed to be the only thing slipping past his lips. And finally, you wanted to tell him the words that you waited until he was fast asleep to say—the words you were demanding to hear from him.

You had an inkling that things probably wouldn’t go exactly to plan. You’d probably see him, feel overwhelmed with your feelings for him, slip into bed with him, end up arguing right after, and the two of you would be right back to where you began.

Still, with all the courage you could muster, you walked outside and rushed to catch the bus. It would be at least a half hour before the bus reached his part of town, and that gave you a bit of peace as it offered more time for you to think through your feelings.

Could you forgive him for lying? Yes, you thought you could. Could you go back to the way things were? Eh, that you weren’t so sure about.

You took a sharp inhale as the bus reached the stop closest to his neighborhood, grabbing your bag and walking out into the suburbs. Your fingers twiddled against the strap of your tote as you rounded the corner to his place, happy to see his truck was parked in his driveway.

Though you felt sick with nerves, your feet kept taking you closer and closer until you were standing on his front door step in the early hours of the night, the sun just now setting behind you.

With a trembling fist, you knocked on his large wooden door. You had half a mind to turn around and run before he could answer it, but the love you had for him inside prevented your body from moving even an inch. When you heard the lock turn, you sucked in a breath of confidence and forced a soft smile to your face.

A smile that would soon be wiped away.

“Oh, hey.” Jessica, that fucking nurse that had him first, stood at the door in one of Javier’s tshirts, a smug grin on her face. “Javier’s in the shower. You’re welcome to come inside and wait—“

“No.” You spat, shaking your head as you looked down at his welcome mat.

Before you could even lift your head to look up again, Javier’s voice echoed through the entryway of his home. You lifted your eyes to see him practically slipping against the tile of his floors as he dripped with water, his towel strung carelessly around his hips.

“Lucky, I—“

You held up your hand to stop him from speaking, your eyes flickering to Jessica’s smug look before turning back to Javier.

“I can’t believe you.” You shook your head at him and openly allowed yourself to cry, wanting him to feel the pain you felt seeing him with another woman.

“I’m so sorry,” he breathed out and stepped closer to you, your head shaking as you stepped backwards, your ankle twisting as you miscalculated your step. You hit the ground after tripping over his cement door step, crying at the sudden rush of physical pain that masked your emotional one. Javier didn’t care much about his exposed state as he rushed to your side, examining your clearly broken ankle. “Fuck.”

“Get off me!” You shouted as he lifted you up and into his house, Jessica staring at the two of you cluelessly from the doorway.

“Don’t just fucking stand there, call the ambulance.” Javier hissed at his hookup while he set you down on the couch. You heard Jessica dial up 911 while Javier reluctantly left your side to go get clothes put on. Less than a minute later, he’d returned with jeans on and a white t-shirt.

“There’s been a bad crash on the interstate. They said they’re stretched thin, and since this isn’t an emergency, you’re gonna have to take her yourself.

“I’m fucking drunk, Jessica!” Javier shouted and the booming sound made even you flinch.

“It’s fine, I can drive myself.” You tried to sit up, ever one to hide your pain—physical or otherwise. Javier stopped you with his hand and forced you to lay back again.

“No.” He sighed and raked his hand over his face.

“Aren’t you a surgeon? You can’t handle a broken bone?” Jessica quipped and earned a glare from Javier.

“Get the fuck out of my house.” He ordered with another boom of his voice.

“I don’t have a car—“

“I don’t fucking care.” He shook his head as he sat down beside you, fingers pressing against your wounded ankle to try and get a better idea of the fracture. He looked at you with softer eyes than he’d been giving Jessica, his voice lowered to a whisper. “I’m sorry. I’m…so sorry.”

“It’s…fine. Do you have any meds? For the pain?” You knew he wasn’t just apologizing for the injury to your leg, but right now you didn’t want to think about any of that. Right now you just wanted the sharp ache in your ankle to go away.

“No, I don’t. Fuck. Is Mickey at work?”

“Yeah,” you nodded, wincing as your muscle in your calf tensed and irritated the injury again.

“Steve. I can call Steve.” He suddenly perked up a little and rushed over to the phone that Jessica had left in the entryway, his eyes catching her as she walked past him out of his house now fully clothed.

“Don’t ever speak to me again.” She hissed like a threat but he only nodded.

“Okay.”

You had to admit that his indifference to her made you feel special, but your mind forced you to remember that the only reason she was here was because they were sleeping together.

A few minutes later, Javier returned with an ice pack, carefully wrapping it with a dish towel before setting it on your ankle. You jerked your leg instinctively at the cold, but eased into it after a bit. Javier kept his eyes on the injury rather than yours, but you couldn’t help but to stare at him.

“I…” your voice caused Javier’s eyes to turn to yours, his lips parting as he studied your face. “I came over here to take you back. To forgive you.”

“I’m sorry.” He shook his head and clenched his jaw, his eyes furrowed with regret as he continued looking at you.

“I just wish we could turn back the clock. To make all of this shit go away.” You cried again, this time the source being your feelings rather than your pain. He nodded and reached to hold your hand. “Because…I love you.”

Javier froze at the sound of your confession, his lips parting again.

“I love you so much. And it’s stupid. I haven’t even known you that long. I…it takes me a very long time to be able to feel this way for a person. But with you…it feels wrong to not love you.” He swallowed thickly and ticked his jaw to the side as he turned his eyes from yours. “And now…now I can’t…I can’t breathe, Javier. I just want all of this to go away.”

“I know.” He nodded, his voice thick with sorrow as he kept his eyes on the coffee table. “I know.”

•••

Javier was forced into waiting in the waiting room while his best friend and orthopedic surgeon, Steve Murphy, worked on you in the OR.

You’d broken your fibula and torn your ACL, needing it to be repaired before they could put you in a cast, though the fracture itself was just a hairline fracture. The thought of you in surgery was almost enough to drive Javier to drink again, though he’d made up his mind that for the next two weeks of his “vacation” he’d go sober. Drinking obviously only caused him to act like an idiot, and besides, even at its best it still only half-numbed his broken heart.

“Hey,” Lorraine sat beside him in the uncomfortable chairs of the waiting room, Javier rolling his eyes at her presence. “Heard about your little friend and her broken leg.”

“I don’t want you to talk about her. Not to me. Not to anybody. Especially if you’re going to continue to disrespect her.”

“So defensive.” She raised her hands in surrender. “Never seen you like this.”

“Stop acting like you know me, Lorraine.” He turned to her and shot her a glare. “You knew me what…ten years ago? I’m not the man you thought you loved. And…all I see when I look at you is a mistake.”

“Careful, Javi. You need all the friends you can get now that your resident girlfriend is gone.” She stood up and walked away, Javier shaking his head as he looked down at his lap.

“Hey,” his eyes shot up to meet Steve’s, a smile on the doctors face as he sat down beside his friend. “She’s good. In recovery right now.”

“Thank god.” He sighed out his worry and nodded as his friend pat his shoulder.

“She, uh, she asked for you. Whenever you’re ready. She’s groggy from the anesthesia and pain meds, but…she asked for ya.” Steve gave his friend a soft, worried look as he stood up, Javier following him to your room.

“Alright, I’ll give you two some privacy.” He pat his friend on the back and closed the glass door of your recovery suite—perks of working at the hospital.

“Hey,” he approached you softly, stroking your hair back as he stood beside your hospital bed.

“Hey,” you croaked and gave him a smile.

“How are you feeling, baby?” You couldn’t have looked more delicate, staring up at him with groggy eyes, giving him the smile he had been so deprived of.

“I’m feeling loopy.” You chuckled and so did he. Shifting a bit in the bed, you patted the space beside you. “Lay with me.”

“Alright,” he nodded and climbed awkwardly onto the tiny hospital bed, his arm going behind your pillow while the other hand stroked your face with his knuckles.

“I love you, Javi.” You nestled into him, his heart rate speeding up at the affection you were showing him when he least deserved it. Must be the meds. “And it’s not the meds.”

He chuckled. Of course you knew exactly what he was thinking. You were more him than he was. “I…love you. So much, bebita. So much.”

“We’ll do this casually.” You croaked out and caused him to furrow his brows. “No boyfriend/girlfriend. No pressure. No…pain. You’ll be my friend and I’ll be yours. Everything else…we’ll let it come naturally.”

“I can’t be just your friend, baby.” He leaned down and kissed your forehead.

“Yes, you can.” You mumbled as you buried your face in his chest, taking in his spicy cologned smell, your tone softer as you pleaded with him. “Please say that you can.”

“Okay,” he nodded and kiss your head again, this time letting his lips linger there, eyes fluttering closed as he relished in your existence in his life. The past day and a half felt like one bad nightmare, a nightmare that somehow managed to alter his reality indefinitely. “I can be your friend, Lucky.”

“Thank you, Dr. Peña.” He felt you smile against him and his heart fluttered in his chest. “Are you gonna keep seeing Jessica?”

“No.” He shook his head as his cheek rested on top of yours, turning a bit to kiss your hair. “Nobody else either.”

“You’re free to. If you want.” You lifted your head and stared at him with groggy eyes and a smile, his brows creased as he listened to you give him permission to sleep with other people as though it was something he wanted. When in reality, it couldn’t have been further from what he desired. “I might too. You know…if I meet someone.”

“I don’t want to think about that.” He didn’t care about how desperate he sounded as he whispered to you, voice cracking with pain and jealousy. “Let’s not…I don’t want to talk about that. Not right now.”

“Okay,” you nodded and leaned your head back against his chest, Javier giving another lingered and almost pained kiss to your head. “C-could you do something for me? Since I’m stuck here in the hospital?”

“Want me to go grab McCartney? I can keep him at mine. I, uh, I have the next two weeks off, so…time on my hands and all.” He chuckled and you nodded in agreement to his plan. Javier gave you another kiss, this time to your chapped lips, both of you humming in content at the long lost feeling before pulling away. “Okay, I’ll be back in the morning as soon as they’re allowing visitors.”

“Okay,” you nodded at him and allowed him to climb out of your bed, Javier making sure you had water nearby in case you got thirsty throughout the night. He quickly looked over your vitals and made note of your steady heart rate—you were calm in his presence. He’d hold onto that. With a goodbye, Javier turned to leave but your voice stopped him before he could close the door. “Javier?”

“Yeah, bebita?” He turned and watched you smile bashfully at him.

“I-I love you.” His breath hitched and heart stopped for a moment, his system overwhelmed with adoration.

“I love you too, bebita.” He offered you a tender smile before sliding the door closed.

As Javier reached Rose’s apartment, he was on cloud nine. Though things were different and not exactly how he wanted them to be, this was the first step to earning your trust back. He had you again, even if it was only in a casual capacity. As his knuckles wrapped against the door, he found himself chuckling at the irony of him being so against a casual relationship when it was all he used to want.

“Rose?” He furrowed his brows after a few minutes of no answer. Trusting his intuition, he reached underneath her doormat where she kept the spare key to her apartment, opening it up on his own volition. McCartney whined from inside the closed bedroom, Javier flicking the light on as he rushed towards the room, opening it and dodging the eager pup as he took in Rose having a seizure. “Shit!”

He rushed to her and turned her onto her side, her frail body shaking as he held her and tried to wait out the seizure. He grabbed the phone on her bedside table and dialed 911, his hands and voice trembling with concern and grief at her state.

After hanging the phone up, he checked her pulse and opened her eyelids to check her pupil reaction, not very pleased with what he saw.

It felt like years before the medics arrived and got her placed on the gurney, Javier left outside both apartments to watch as one of the closest people in your life was hauled off, her fate uncertain.

He wanted to rush to the hospital with them, to be the one that operated on her, the one that saved her. But he knew the Chief would never allow him, and besides, he had your golden retriever to think of. He couldn’t save Rose, but he could take good care of McCartney.

“Come on, boy,” he let himself into your place with your spare key, grabbing not only McCartney’s food, bowl, and toys, but also an overnight bag of yours that he packed with a couple sets of clean clothes for you to wear instead of those hospital gowns. With a lock of yours and Rose’s doors, he slipped both keys into his pocket and walked the dog to his truck. “You and I are gonna hang out for a while, bud. Everybody’s okay. Don’t worry.”

He knew his words weren’t meant to console the animal but himself. He needed the reassurance that both you and Rose would be fine. That everything would go back to how it was, and that even if it didn’t, it would be okay.

McCartney laid his head on Javier’s lap as he drove towards his home and somehow, through the creature that you loved so dearly, he could feel your presence reassure you that everything was fine, that he could breathe. He swallowed the lump in his throat and nodded at nothing, reaching down to pet the dog.

“Thank you, buddy.”

•••

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[diosmio76]

What I Deserve (2) | soft Dark!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Bucky couldn’t believe his luck when he found you. So innocent, so alone, and so naive. He had been following you throughout the week, hell- he wasn’t even trying to hide it anymore and you never noticed him once.

Pairing: Dark!Bucky x Reader

WARNINGS: +18, dub-con, needle use, stalking, fingering, kidnapping, kind of non-con (more dub-con but just incase)

Word Count: 3,076

A/N: my timeline on which version of Barnes is fucked up and a mix of everything honestly // my first ever time writing smut, and honestly I'm open to constructive criticism b/c I have no experience in this area LOLZ

You squeezed your eyes as you stretched your body. Feeling your comforter rise and fall against your skin from your movements. You hung your feet off your bed and stretched them before standing up. You did your usual set of morning stretches, were they done correctly? Probably not, but it was the thought that counts and the only form of self-care you gave yourself. You let out a sigh as you got ready for another day similar to all the rest. You don’t even remember what it felt like to be excited about waking up, but who were you to complain. You used the toilet as you went back and forth in your mind about nothing in particular, your eyes staring at your bed that was quickly losing the warmth it collected from your body. Once done in the bathroom you dragged yourself to your vanity, hearing the faint noise of cars on the street, you began getting ready for work. After changing and grabbing your tattered work bag, you began your journey with all the other commuters.

The day dragged on like any other, talking to coworkers only when they needed something from you. Hearing the usual remarks of “Oh, I didn’t notice you” or “I didn’t even see you there”, you got used to it but you’d be lying if you said it didn’t bother you. Before you had time to dwell on it, it was time to go home. You packed your bag then began your walk home, following the same route you always take during the week. Taking a little solstice in the fact that you were just another face in the crowd, that fact made you feel as if everyone else was alone too. Once home you locked the door and dropped your bag, heading to the bedroom you changed into an oversized shirt and put on your slippers before heading towards the living room. You turned on the tv and lowered the volume for some background noise, making the short trip towards the kitchen to make dinner. You rarely got messages on your phone unless it was from your mom or your phone provider wanting you to update your old phone, so you scrolled mindlessly through various social media newsfeeds. You munched on a vegetable as you waited for your pan to heat up. You tried to not feel bad for yourself, you were the one to blame for the lack of social life but you were in too deep. Too set in your ways. You stared at the steaming pan as you imagined moving across the country.

“Yeah right” you said aloud to yourself as you finished cooking your dinner, eating the food but not really tasting it.

~~~

You repeated the same routine the next day, unbeknownst to you today was the day that Bucky decided you were ready. It didn’t take him long to find a house isolated by miles of forest. Despite its unassuming traditional exterior, the inside was modern as he enjoyed the impersonal nature that the style provided. He spent the majority of his time there making sure the house was locked and secure in case you tried anything. The thought made him laugh a little, knowing you didn’t have it in you but he didn’t want to take any chances. Things had been going his way lately, and finding you was like the universe was rewarding him even more. At first, he considered getting to know you, and doing the whole flowers and dates thing but decided he didn’t have the patience for all that waiting, he’s been waiting long enough and he deserved something good. He settled on a much easier method. Breaking in was easy, old apartments like this barely gave him any trouble. He even had someone hold the building door open for him, just his luck.

The lock felt weird when you opened your door but you didn’t think anything of it, dismissing it as another sign of the building’s old age. He watched from afar as you went about your usual routine. He was beginning to become skeptical at how oblivious you were. He was practically behind you and you hadn’t even looked over your shoulder once. He even made some accidental noises by stepping on squeaky floorboards and didn’t get a reaction from you, he took this as another lucky break. You were tired today and fell asleep relatively easily, considering how long it typically took you to fall asleep. Bucky walked around your apartment as he waited for you to enter a deeper sleep, familiar with everything since he had been in here a few times since first spotting you all those weeks ago. He looked at your book collection, a mix of genres, and looked closer at the few photos you had on display. A majority of the old photos seemed to be of your family from decades ago. He picked up one that seemed more recent, the only one you had up that included you. He recognized the other two people in it, your mom and sister, both busy with their own lives. He already sized up your family and it would be easy to handle them if he needed to.

He walked into your bathroom and went through your medicine cabinet, finding nothing out of the ordinary besides a few nail polish bottles and various allergy medicines. Finally, he noticed the soft snores coming out of your room. He shut the cabinet, staring at his reflection for a second. He knew this was the right thing to do and had no bad intention. He softly grunted at his pathetic moment of self-reflection and took out a needle filled with a small dose of anesthesia. He observed you for a moment as you slept, mouth slightly agape and eyebrows relaxed, he considered for a moment how easy it would be to take you, but reminded himself of the bigger picture. He easily found a vein and waited a few minutes before taking you to your new home.

~~~

You squeezed your eyes shut and smiled to yourself as you thought about how well you slept last night. You hummed as you kept your eyes closed briefly noticing the absence of warmth that the morning sun provided you in the mornings. You thought nothing of it, too distracted by the fact that this was probably the best night’s sleep you’d gotten in months. Despite that you still felt a little groggy, you began to move but quickly felt something rough holding you down. Your eyes shot open as your breathing began to quicken. You became conscious of the rough restraints around your arms and legs. You awkwardly lifted your head up as you tried to look around, it looked like a basement based on the unfinished walls surrounding you, a single lightbulb hanging above you on the unfinished ceiling. You attempted to calm yourself down by deeply inhaling but knew it was a lost cause once you heard the shaky exhale leave your mouth. You knew you couldn’t break free from the knotted rope holding you down. You had weak arms and tried to use your leg strength in an attempt to kick yourself free but felt it begin to sting as it irritated your ankles from the pressure. You sat in a deafening silence and felt completely petrified.

You let out a whimper as you heard footsteps approaching the door. The door opened as you saw a tall, broad man approach you. You were too scared to notice anything about him and began to feel yourself shake, causing you to miss the way he hungrily reacted to your frightened state. A shadow was cast on you as he stood over the bed. From the corner of your eye, you watched as his right hand lowered the comforter to your torso and expose your shirt as you twitched at the action. He smirked in response, your eyes following his hand as it hovered over the comforter as though he was going to do something. It exited your line of sight but your eyes were fixed in place. You heard movement as he straightened himself before speaking to you for the first time.

“Did you sleep well? You’ve been out for most of the day” His deep voice filled the room as you kept shaking, too scared to answer. You could hear your heartbeat in your ears and wondered if he could too, but he was too busy trailing his eyes over your torso. He noticed the way your nipples created peaks on your oversized shirt. He licked his lips before he moved his hand up to grab your chin, forcing you to look up at him. You did your best at avoiding his gaze keeping your gaze low, you swallowed the lump in your throat and tried to control your shaking but felt it intensify instead.

Still gripping your chin, a little tighter than necessary, and trying to control your shaking body got him hard. You looked so weak like this, it made him excited, a wicked smile painted his face as he looked down at your wide eyes and lips clamped together in terror.

“Look at me when I talk to you, doll”

You had a difficult time looking people in the eyes in general, so you lifted your eyes and stopped at his chin. You didn’t dare go any higher. He squeezed on your chin and heard him let out an amused chuckle. If you weren’t so terrified you would have noticed how out of place it sounded given the situation.

“That’ll have to do, for now, I can tell you’re terrified but you really have no reason to be. I only want to do what’s best for you- for us, I’m only doing what needs to be done.” He didn’t expect a response and stared at you as he let you sit with his words.

He took a moment and let his hand trail down from your chin. He felt the nervous swallow as his pointer finger trailed lower and lower. His finger deviated from its straight path as he placed his palm against your chest, pausing to feel your heartbeat racing. He almost felt sorry as he felt its frantic rhythm. He couldn’t help himself as he cupped your left breast. His thumb gently circling around the hard bud. You scrunched your eyebrows and scolded yourself for getting pleasure from his action. His gentle touch was a strong contrast to the situation he had put you in.

His finger continued its journey down and stopped just above your mound. You swallowed as you felt his eyes staring at you intently, not daring to see if you were right. He lifted his hand momentarily as he moves to sit next to you, hearing the springs groan under him, pushing the comforter towards the bottom of the bed. You get chills as warmth escapes, feeling the crisp air conditioning surround your body instead. Jerking at his touch, he returns his right hand to your body just below your navel this time. His fingers trace down until it feathered above your mound. You held your breath as if any noise from you would assure that he would continue his actions as if he would forget you were there. You felt his pause when his fingers hit the material of your cotton underwear. He slowly traces a short line along your clit, you ball your hands into fists wanting to make him stop. Why was your body enjoying this?

You hold your breath as he gently pulls them down till they were at your knees and returns his hand to its previous place. The empty room is quiet, amplifying the sound of both of your breaths. You feel his middle and ring finger move lower gently stroking your folds. You hear him let out a surprised huff as he continued stroking.

“I was gonna bring lube, but it looks like we won’t be needing it, huh sweetheart?”

You felt your cheeks heat up, he was right. You felt heat building ever since he grabbed your chin, but he didn’t need to know that. All you wanted to do was at the very least was cover your face, but felt the irritation of the rope on your wrists instead. He began back and forth on your heat for a few moments. The room now having the added noise of his fingers slowly speeding up as he stroked you. You shut your eyes as he circled around your entrance, you could already tell his fingers would be significantly bigger than yours. He slowly inserted a finger as you sucked in a quick breath. You could hear him let out a quiet groan as he watched his finger disappear into your hole.

After finding a rhythm he added another finger. You let out a whimper at the fullness of both of his thick fingers filling your hole. It stung at first, hurting slightly you wanted to try and stop his intrusion. Besides your finger, you had never had anything else inside of you. You felt slightly embarrassed by this when you were younger but as you got older you accepted the fact that your lack of social life was a major reason as to why you never had anything close to a romantic partner. Never being social enough to meet someone that you would want to be friends with, let alone sleep with. You felt as though you should tell this man, did you even know his name, that this was the farthest you’ve ever gone with anyone before. Before you think any more about it you open your mouth, nothing coming out at first but it was enough for his eyes to go to your face. He slowed down his pace and had his eyes trained on your face waiting for you to speak as if his fingers weren’t leisurely stroking your soft walls in the meantime.

“I- I think I need to tell you something” The words left you slowly and your voice was shakey as you tried to speak and ignore your oncoming orgasm at his rough fingers stroking you gently. Why did you feel like you owed him this? You briefly thought to yourself. But it was too late to stop now.

He smirked at you as he waited for you to continue on. So far, you’ve shown him nothing but submissiveness. Cementing the fact that he made the right choice when he chose you. He didn’t plan on being this gentle with you originally but he couldn’t help it, feeling as though any other treatment would scare you away. His fingers never stopping their gentle strokes, he watched your lips as your quiet voice trembled on.

“I’ve never really, I haven’t done any of this before. I’m a virgin” the words leave you slowly, you gulp and still refuse to meet his gaze, scared for a moment that you would lose the gentleness he has given you thus far. You knew that wouldn’t stop him, but a small part of you hoped it would be enough for him to stop just for now. For the first time you decided to look at his face, still too scared to meet his eyes you opted to watch his mouth as you waited for a response.

To say he was ecstatic was an understatement. You had chosen to tell him this on your own, he didn’t even get a chance to ask you. He didn’t want to assume but based on his observations of you he had an inkling that this was the case. He felt proud of you, his perfect girl. He smiled gently at you in response. You shivered as his fingers paused their gentle strokes in you as he moved to kiss the top of your head.

“Thank you for telling me, my good girl” it sounded patronizing but your body thought otherwise. Feeling heat shoot straight to your core at his response. He felt you squeeze around his fingers at his response.

Once he felt that you adjusted to his fingers he began to alternate inserting them. Thrusting one and then the other inside of you. Your eyes squeezed shut, you never felt this close to cumming so quickly. Your eyes swelled with tears as you quietly sobbed, reaching your climax. Both of you watched as he pulled his fingers out of your sensitive heat. Covered in slick from your climax. You watched as he moved his fingers close to his face, smirking at you.

“Just a little taste for now,” he said he brought his fingers to his mouth to suck on his two fingers that were just inside you seconds ago. The empty room amplified the sound, your face felt hot as you watched the lewd act feeling your core still throbbing.

He reveled in your obvious embarrassment, humming at your reaction. He wiped his damp fingers on his pants as he got up. You blinked slowly, taking in what had just happened. You had enjoyed what had just happened but felt angry at yourself for that. He shouldn’t have done that, and you had let yourself succumb to his fingers so easily. He watched you, deep in thought with your eyes spaced out. His cock throbbed as if reminding him he needed a release too but he didn’t want to scare you. He had a plan, but you had just showed him that he didn’t have to be as rough as he initially thought with you. And he wouldn’t ever admit it but he couldn’t have even if he wanted to, as soon as he interacted with you it was almost as if he needed to handle you with care. Something that he thought wasn’t in his nature, but for you, maybe he’d try.

He felt his confident demeanor waver for a second, an odd feeling. He needed to get away from her and have a moment alone, so with a quick glance, he turned towards the door and practically ran out of the room without speaking to her.

Too busy thinking, you didn’t notice the foreign feelings your captor had just experienced. Only noticing this broad figure leaving the room as if he was late for something. If you weren’t so busy scolding yourself you would have wondered if you had done something wrong to elicit that action from him.

[drabblecat]

Yandere!Heisenberg x F!Reader Part 2

Rating: Explicit (18+)

Warnings: yandere behavior, slight nudity, drugging

Part 1

Slightly longer than i was aiming for but that's ok! My initial thought was more pwp but then I realized I kinda wanted some sort of plot... Anyways, big plans for next chapters! As always I'd love to hear what you think and the ask box is open!

You took a moment to try and calm your nerves. Heisenberg still had your face in his rough hands, and you couldn’t try to run with that chain holding you down. As his thumb ran across your lips anger built inside you. Mother Miranda was supposed to protect everyone in the village, but as soon as shit hit the fan there was no one that came to the rescue. You parted your lips as if starting to speak, his thumb now pressing down on your lower lip. Tilting your head forward ever so slightly, you bit down on the man’s thumb. He pulled back and sat up in shock that someone in your current position would do such a thing.

“Take care of me huh? Like Mother Miranda was supposed to? Yeah, well look how that worked out!” The hand still next to your head quickly gasped onto your neck, lifting you up to meet his eyes.

“That bitch was just using the village. It was a lie she used to make sure we had the right number of bodies to work with and everyone fell for it!” Tightening around your throat you started to gasp for air, hands pulling at Heisenberg’s grip. He let you go, house bouncing against the mattress. “It seems you need some more time to adjust. I’ll be back later and hopefully you’ll realize your place here.” The bed shifted as he stood up. Walking to the door and closing it behind him you heard a loud telltale click of a lock.

You stared up at the ceiling for a moment, not only to catch your breath, but also in attempt to process what exactly was happening. Tears formed in the corner of your eyes, one spilling over your cheek and rolled down to your chin. You let it fall for just a moment, and then gathered yourself. What was done was done. True you saw people that you knew dying in the streets, but you didn’t truly know them. You were just the new girl in town, if they were in your place, they would just be happy to be alive. Besides, Heisenberg was one of the town’s lords, right? It’s possible that this isn’t all that bad, you don’t know anything about him besides owning the old factory. At least he’s not Beneviento or Moreau. The dolls were creepy as hell, and you were never one for going near the waters that looked like they’d eat you if given the chance.

Using the sheet you wiped your eyes, and decided it was best to examine your surroundings further. Getting off the bed, the chain falling to the floor with it, you saw the cuff had a decent amount of length to it. Besides the bed and the heavy door, there were a few other things. There was the chair still at the end of the bed, a small nightstand, a vanity, and two other doors. Walking over to the vanity you were taken back. It had a framed photo of you that you do not remember taking. Especially since it was of you just out of the shower! Hesitantly you tipped it over, not wanting to even think of what that photo implied. Below the vanity were some drawers, opening them you found a hairbrush, and what only could be described as some of the raunchiest lingerie you’ve ever seen. Then came the two doors, one was significantly smaller than the other. Trying the small one first in the back left of the room, no luck. After turning the round door knob a few times you gave it a rest. Next was the larger door, this one opened right away. Nothing too interesting, just an ordinary bathroom. It was a little dirty, but nothing worse than what you’ve seen at certain gas stations.

Starting by opening all the possible cabinets you found they were all empty. Nothing to even try to use to get out. No cleaning chemicals or even medicine in the medicine cabinet. Heisenberg must have thought this through this for some time. The chain finally ran out of length at the toilet, just short of the bath. Seeing as nothing came from this, you returned to the bed to stare at the ceiling and think. Not like there was anything else to do. Who knows how long it took you to explore the room and think your thoughts. Without windows or any sort of clock there was no way to tell. Curling up to one side you snuggled into the blankets. Once again you heard the door click, causing you to bolt upright to face the noise. Heisenberg came through the door, carrying a metal tray holding a plate of food, a fork, a glass with what looked like water, and a small white vase with two wilted yellow flowers.

“Dinner time! Now I know I’m not the best cook, but you should find this to at least be appetizing. After all you must be starving darling.” He sat the tray on the bed and sat back in his chair. The plate was just as he said, didn’t look five stars, but your stomach growled at the mess of food. It looked like some baked beans, accompanied by some thick slices of grilled ham, and a chunk of corn bread. You still didn’t move, despite your hunger.

“Ok ok, you probably think I drugged the food, right? Well, I didn’t. Drugging you would be easier with a dart gun.” He lowered his glasses slightly to look you in the eye. With a sigh he grabbed the fork, picking up an entire slice of the ham, ripping a bite out of it. “See?” he placed the ham with the fork in it back down on the plate, speaking as he chewed. You couldn’t hold out much longer. If now was dinner time, that means you missed an entire day with nothing to eat. Planning any sort of escape or resistance to him couldn’t be done on an empty stomach. Reaching forward you used the fork the cut off a bite sized piece. It was surprisingly well seasoned, and super tender.

“There you go sweetheart! I knew it would just take some time to get used to, I’m not all that bad.” He chuckled and watched you as you ate. Only because he was watching you did you eat just a little faster than you had wanted to. Sure, he was a little off putting, but he seemed happy when you played along with whatever sick fantasy he had conjured up in his head. Once the meal was done, he set the flower on your nightstand and the tray right beside it. He stood up, taking his hat and coat off and throwing it on the chair.

“Well, I don’t know about you, but I had a full day today and I am beat. Time to get some shut eye.” He glanced over to the vanity; a small piece of cloth poked out from where you had rummaged around. “I see you had some fun today as well. Your still in that ragged gown, I think you might want to change into something a little more… fresh.” Shit, you thought you’d put everything back to where it was. You mentally curse yourself as he opened the drawers. He was right though; you were still in the stained nightgown from the attack. As much as a fresh outfit was a good idea, you dreaded what his choice might be.

After a few moments of rummaging, he pulled out a gown that looked like it went down to mid-thigh, in a deep crimson color. It would have been a nice gown, if it wasn’t for the fact that the entire section around the breasts were almost see through lace with slits on both sides that went from the bottom and halfway up.

“Absolutely not.” You blurted out, causing him to chuckle.

“Sweetheart I don’t think you have a choice in the matter. Besides you and I both know that if you stay in that grimy thing, it’ll make you more uncomfortable than wearing this. It’s soft to, pure silk.” He tossed it on the bed and gave you a wink. Giving a defeated huff, you picked it up. He was right, it was incredibly soft. Getting off the bed with the garment in hand you headed towards the bathroom.

“Aww, and I thought I was going to see you strip. Maybe some other time…” He looked at you with his shit-eating grin. Your face became flustered, and you slammed the door as fast as you could, not shutting all the way due to the chain. Once inside the bathroom you began to change, making sure he couldn’t see you through the crack in the door. It was only then that you found the slip came with a matching pair of panties. Sighing in defeat and honestly just tired of all the bullshit thrown at you these past days you just put them on. It did give you some comfort, surprisingly feeling clean in this lewd outfit over your much more covering, yet crawling with filth, night gown. Taking a look in the mirror you looked yourself over. At least your tits looked hot in this, a confidence boost is good, right?

Slowly opening the door further, you became almost timid at what you saw. Heisenberg had also begun to strip down to his boxers for the night. He was in the middle of removing his shirt. His muscular back was littered with all sorts of scars. His muscles flexed as he took of the white stained undershirt, the smallest beads of sweat wicked away by the fabric. His tight ass was also a sight to see. Looking over his shoulder, he locked eyes with you, no longer having glasses obscure the direct line of sight.

“Well well, seems we’ve both found ourselves some eye candy huh.” Tossing the last piece of clothing to the chair he approached the door. Opening it and taking your hand he looked down at you, you quickly looked away to avoid feeling more embarrassment. Suddenly he picked up bridal style, your hands immediately reaching for his chest in attempt to hold on. In doing so your hands felt the warm firm handful of his pecks. He chuckled as you quickly folded your hands back into your own chest. Ever so gently he set you back on the bed, a sharp contrast to what had happened earlier.

Settling down next to you, you turned away from him. As you felt the bed dip with his weight, he wrapped an arm around your waist and pulled you close. You could feel a slight bulge resting against your ass. You tried to create some sort of distance, but you couldn’t move at all. Resigning to the situation, you tried to settle down, eyes unable to close despite some tiredness. All you could see in the limited range of movement you had was the nightstand, remnants of the meal, and the two flowers wilted but vibrant as they sat in the small vase.

[translations-by-aiimee]

The Husky and His White Cat Shizun - Chapter 8

Original Title:  二哈和他的白猫师尊

Genres: Drama, Romance, Tragedy, Xianxia, Yaoi

This translation is based on multiple MTLs and my own limited knowledge of Chinese characters. If I have made any egregious mistakes, please let me know.

Chapter Index

Chapter 8 - This Venerable One Gets Punished

Mo Ran lay in bed like a dead fish for three days. Just as his wounds started to heal, he was summoned to Red Lotus Pavilion to do manual labour.

This was also part of his punishment. During the punishment period, Mo Ran couldn't go down the mountain, but he also couldn't just laze around. So he had to help out the sect and do some drudgery.

Generally speaking, these errands were things like: helping the cafeteria lady at Mengpo Hall wash the dishes, scrubbing the three hundred and sixty-five stone lions on the pillars of the Naihe Bridge, transcribing extremely boring archive files, and so on.

But what kind of place was Red Lotus Pavilion? It was the residence of that bastard Chu Wanning, known as the cursed place called Red Lotus Hell.

Few people in Life-Death Peak had been there, and everyone who had been there left with either their legs or their arms broken.

Therefore, in addition to Red Lotus Hell, Chu Wanning's bedroom had a more grounded nickname: Broken Leg Pavilion.

There was an inside joke circulating around the sect: "The Pavilion hides a beauty, and the beauty holds Tianwen. Enter the gate of broken legs, know the suffering of getting your legs broken. If you want your meridians broken, go to the Elder Yuheng."

There was once a female disciple who wasn't afraid of death. She was bold enough to lust after Elder Yuheng's beauty. Taking advantage of the dark night and high winds, she sneaked to the Southern Peak and climbed onto the eaves, intending to watch the Elder bathe and strip his clothes.

As you can imagine, the female warrior was beaten within an inch of death by Tianwen, crying for her father and calling her mother, and lay in bed for no less than a hundred days.

And Chu Wanning also declared that, if anyone else dared to commit another crime, he would carve out the eyes of the perpetrator himself.

Do you see? What complete nonsense! What puzzling behaviour! What a heinous man!

Within the sect, there used to be innocent silly girls who thought that, because they were women, Elder Yuheng would pity them and show compassion. They were always laughing and joking in front of him, trying to attract his attention. But ever since the elder whipped that one female hooligan, no one dared to hit on him anymore.

To Elder Yuheng, whether it was men or women, he didn't have the disposition of a gentleman. Other than a good-looking face, there was nothing redeeming about him - this was how Chu Wanning was viewed by the disciples of this sect.

The junior brother who had delivered the summons looked at Mo Ran with sympathy. He tried to stay quiet, but in the end, couldn't hold it back: "Brother Mo. . ."

"Hmm?"

". . . Elder Yuheng has such a bad temper. No one who went to the Red Lotus Water Pavilion came out able to stand. Maybe you could see if you could say your wounds haven't healed and beg Yuheng Elder to let you wash dishes instead?"

Mo Ran was very grateful for this junior brother's bodhisattva heart, but he didn't agree.

Beg Chu Wanning?

Forget it. He doesn't need to get beaten by Tianwen a second time.

So he strenuously put on his clothes, dragged his feet, and walked reluctantly to Life-Death Peak's southern peak.

Red Lotus Pavilion, Red Lotus Hell. There wasn't a single person in sight for a hundred li around Chu Wanning's residence.

No one wanted to go close to his residence. Chu Wanning's bad taste and uncertain personality made everyone in the sect stay far away from him.

Mo Ran was a bit nervous. He didn't know what Chu Wanning would make him do as punishment. His thoughts ran wild the whole trip to the southern peak. After passing through the dense bamboo groves, large swathes of beautiful red lotus came into view.

It was early morning, the sun rising from the east, reflecting a splendid shine on the horizon. The red lotus stalks in the pond stretched towards the flaming clouds in the sky, complementing each other; magnificent. At the edge of the pond, a curved zig-zag bridge led to the pavilion standing in serene silence. Behind it was a curtain of waterfalls streaming down the mountain, the fine crystal water droplets raining against the rocks at the bottom. The watery mist created by it evaporated into the air, light gleaming through the fog, creating a sense of enchanting tranquillity.

This is what Mo Ran thought about this:

Gross.

Wherever Chu Wanning lived, no matter how beautiful it was, would always be gross to him!

Just look at it, so arrogantly extravagant, a true waste of extravagance, in fact. The disciples’ dorms are all closely connected to each other and they don't take up much surface area. And then there's the mighty Elder Yuheng, who occupies a whole mountain by himself. He even dug three large ponds and filled them with lotus flowers. Although, these lotus flowers are special varieties and can be refined into immortal medicine, but—

This is getting off track, the place was not pleasing to the eye. He wished he could burn down Broken Leg Pavilion with his torch!

All he could ever do was silently criticize this place. Given that he was only sixteen* this year, he was no match for Chu Wanning. Mo Ran showed up outside Chu Wanning's residence regardless. He stood at the door, squinted his eyes, and put on a sickeningly sweet demure, pretending to be the ideal disciple.

*(T/N The original text flips between all these ages. Mo Ran is just guessing how old he is so that's why it keeps going to 14/15/16)

"Disciple Mo Ran here to greet his master."

"Yes, come in."

The room was chaotic and disorganized. The cold-blooded demon Chu Wanning was dressed in a white robe. The lapels were folded high and tightly, giving off an air of purity and abstinence. Today, he had his hair in a high ponytail, covered with a black metal hair ring. He sat on the ground fiddling with a bunch of mechanical parts, biting a pen he had in his mouth.

Casually glancing at Mo Ran, with the pen still in his mouth, he said vaguely: "Come here."

Mo Ran approached him.

It was no easy feat. Considering there were no benches or tables in this room, artwork and metal broken wood were scattered everywhere.

Mo Ran's brows twitched. He had never entered Chu Wanning's room in his previous life, and he had no idea that this well-dressed beautiful man lived in such a mess. . . He was at a loss for words.

"Master, what is this?"

"Night Wanderer."

"What?"

Chu Wanning was a little impatient, probably because it was inconvenient to speak with a pen in his mouth: "Night Wanderer."

Mo Ran silently glanced at the mess of parts on the ground.

His master was hailed as Shizun Chu, and it wasn't just out of vanity. Speaking honestly, Chu Wanning was a very powerful man. Whether it is his three god-grade weapons, his cultivation techniques, or his machine-building skills, he was clearly worthy of being defined by four words: "the peak of excellence". This was also the reason why he had such a bad temper and was so difficult to serve, but the major cultivation sects still tried to fight over him for those skill.

Regarding the "Night Wanderer", the reborn Mo Ran was well aware of it.

It was a kind of machine made by Chu Wanning, cheap to make but had strong combat power. It can guard the ordinary people in the lower cultivation world from ghosts and demons at night.

In his previous life, the well-made Night Wanderer had almost become a must-have machine for every household. The price of one was equivalent to a broom, and the effect was much easier to handle than the Grinning Door God.

After Chu Wanning died, those Night Wanderers still guarded the poor families who couldn't afford a high-level cultivator. This compassionate heart, coupled with Chu Wanning's affection for his disciples. . . hehe, it really makes Mo Ran despise him.

Mo Ran sat down and looked at the "Night Wanderer" which was just a bunch of parts at this time, and the past flashed through his mind. He couldn't help picking up one of the Night Wanderer's limbs and grasped it in his hand for a closer look.

Chu Wanning clipped a few components, finally freeing his hands. He took the pen out of his mouth and glared at Mo Ran: "That one was just finished with tung oil, don't touch it."

"Oh. . ." Mo Ran put down the machine. He put his fake smile back on still looking cute and completely harmless. He asked with a smile, "Shizun summoned me here, are you planning to let me help?"

Chu Wanning hummed: "Mm."

"What do you want me to do?"

"Clean up the house."

Mo Ran's smile froze. He looked around at the room that looked like it had been hit by an earthquake: ". . ."

Chu Wanning was a genius in immortal cultivation and an idiot in life.

After picking up the fifth broken teacup that had never been swept up, Mo Ran finally couldn't stand it: "Shizun, when was the last time you cleaned your house? My god, it's so messy!"

Chu Wanning was looking at his drawings, and didn't look up when Mo Ran spoke to him: "Almost a year."

Mo Ran: ". . ."

"Where do you usually sleep?"

"What?" There must be something wrong with the drawing. Chu Wanning was upset and looked even more impatient than usual. He rubbed his head and replied in a huff, "Of course it's the bed."

Mo Ran glanced at the bed. It was piled with all kinds of machines that had been mostly completed, as well as a bunch of tools such as saws, axes, files, and so on.

Seriously, how did this man sleep without cutting his own head off?

After working for most of the day, the sawdust on the floor had filled three dustpans, and the white towel that had wiped down the bookcase was ten times more black. By noon, he had only cleaned about half.

Fuck Chu Wanning, this person is really more poisonous than a leeching woman.

Cleaning a room didn't seem like much of a punishment, it didn't really seem like hard work, but who knew that it was such a ghastly place that hadn't been touched in a year? Not to mention that he was covered with wound. Even if he was healthy now, he could shorten his lifespan by half going through all of this!

"Shizun. . ."

"Hm?"

"Your pile of clothes. . ." They'd been stacked there for about three months.

Chu Wanning finally got one of Night Wanderer's arms attached. He rubbed his sore shoulder, looked up at the robes on the suitcase, and said coldly: "I wash them myself."

Mo Ran was relieved. Thank goodness. But he was still a little curious: "Really? Shizun can wash clothes?"

Chu Wanning glanced at him, and after a while, coldly said: "What's so hard about it? Throw them in water, soak them, take them out, and dry them."

". . ." After hearing this, he really didn't know any girl who would keep lusting after Chu Wanning. Mo Ran truly thought that it would break the hearts of dozen of women to find out how disgusting this man really was.

"It's getting late. You can accompany me to the dining hall and finish the rest when you get back."

There were people coming and going from Meng Po Hall, and the Life-Death Peak disciples were eating together. Chu Wanning grabbed a lacquered wooden tray, took a few dishes and sat in the corner silently.

From where he was, no one sat within twenty feet of him.

No one dared to sit too close to Elder Yuheng, for fear that he would get upset, and they would get a lashing from Tianwen. Chu Wanning himself actually knew about this, but he didn't mind. A cold beauty sat there, gently eating the food in the bowl.

But today wasn't like usual.

Mo Ran was brought by him, so naturally he had to follow him.

Others are afraid of him. So was Mo Ran, but he had already died once, so Chu Wanning was nothing in comparison.

Especially after the fear of first seeing him had subsided, the hatred of Chu Wanning from his previous life slowly emerged. So what if Chu Wanning was powerful? In his last life, he still died by his hands.

Mo Ran sat down in front of him, calmly chewing the sweet and sour pork ribs in the bowl. He crunched on the bones then spit them out into a pile.

Chu Wanning suddenly slammed down his chopsticks.

Mo Ran stopped for a moment.

". . . Can you stop eating with your mouth open?"

"I chew the bones, how am I supposed to do that with my mouth closed?"

"Then don't eat the bones."

"But I like to eat the bones."

"Eat around them."

The two quarreling voices grew louder and louder, and some disciples were already peeping at them.

Mo Ran fought the urge to throw the rice bowl over Chu Wanning's head. He pursed his lips, and after a while, he narrowed his eyes, and a sweet smile appeared at the corners of his mouth.

"Shizun, don't shout so loudly. Others might hear, won't they laugh at us?"

Chu Wanning has always been thin-skinned, and his voice really softened. He whispered: "Get out."

Mo Ran burst out laughing.

Chu Wanning: ". . ."

"Hey, Shizun, don't stare at me. Come on, let's eat. I'll try to be quiet."

Mo Ran had laughed enough and started playing nice again, the sound of his chewing much softer.

Chu Wanning gradually went back to gently eating. Seeing that Mo Ran was bring obedient, his face slightly relaxed, no longer looking so bitter and upset. He lowered his head, eating his green beans and tofu with grace.

After a long pause, Mo Ran started to do it again.

He didn't know what was wrong with him. In summary, seeing Chu Wanning in this life, he wanted to make a fool of himself and do whatever he could to make him angry.

So Chu Waning found that although Mo Ran did not chew loudly this time, he began to grab the ribs with his hands and eat them, sloppily eating with greasy hands and sauce-covered fingers.

Chu Wanning's blue forehead vein popped. Endure it.

He lowered his eyelashes. He didn't look at Mo Ran, and focused on his own meal.

Mo Ran didn't know if he had gotten too carefree or forgetful while eating, but he accidentally threw one of the gnawed bones into Chu Wanning's rice bowl.

Chu Wanning stared at the messy and hideous rib bone, and the surrounding air so condensed and frozen it was visible to the naked eye.

"Mo Ran. . . !!!"

"Shizun. . ." Mo Ran was quite frightened. He wasn't sure whether what he said sounded true or fake. "That. . . Uh, I didn't mean it."

Probably fake.

". . ."

"Don't be angry, I'll take it out for you."

He really stretched out his chopsticks, stuck them into Chu Wanning's bowl, and quickly picked out the bone.

Chu Wanning's face was pale, like he was about to vomit.

Mo Ran batted his eyelashes, and there was a pitiful grievance on his delicate face: "Shizun, do you dislike me?"

". . ."

"Shizun, I'm sorry."

It was just that.

Chu Wanning thought to himself: Why do you need to be restrained with the junior disciples?

He gave up the urge to summon Tianwen to hit Mo Ran. His appetite was gone, and he got up and said: "I'm full."

"What? Is that all you're going to eat? Shizun, you've barely touched your food."

Chu Wanning brushed him off: "I'm not hungry."

Mo Ran's heart felt like it was as joyful as a flower, and he still sweetly said: "Then I won't eat it anymore. We can go back to Red Lotus Hell - ehem, go back to Red Lotus Pavilion."

Chu Wanning narrowed his eyes: "We?" There was a mockery in his eyes, and then said, "Who is the other person you're talking about? Disciples and their Shizun have respectable relationships and you will address me in the proper manner."

Mo Ran carefully kept his expression, his eyes curled up with a smile, well-behaved, sensible and cute.

However, in his heart he was thinking: Respectful relationship? Proper manner?

Hehe, if Chu Wanning could know what happened in his previous life, he would know - in the end, Mo Weiyu was the only one deserving of respect in the world.

No matter how noble and arrogant Chu Waning was, he was still a piece of mud under his boot. Didn't he depend on Mo Ran's good will to survive?

Stepping quickly to keep up with his shizun's pace, Mo Ran still had a bright smile on his face.

If Shi Mei was the white moonlight in his heart, Chu Wanning was the broken fishbone stuck in his throat. He needed crush this thorn or swallow it, and it will corrode away in his stomach.

In short, during this new life, he could spare whoever he wanted.

But he would never spare Chu Wanning.

However, Chu Wanning didn't seem to want to spare him so easily.

Mo Ran stood in front of the library in Red Lotus Hell, looking at fifty rows of ten-story bookshelves, thinking that he must have heard wrong.

"Shizun, what did you say. . .?"

Chu Wanning replied lightly: "Dust all the books in here."

". . ."

"After dusting, catalogue them."

"..."

"I will check back tomorrow morning."

"!!!"

What!!! Was he supposed to stay overnight in Red Lotus Hell??

But he had planned to meet with Shi Mei, and even asked Shimei to change his medicine at night!!!

He opened his mouth to plead his case, but Chu Wanning didn't bother paying attention to him. With a wave of his wide sleeves, and turned to exit the library, and, incidentally, closed the door of the library in a haughty manner.

Mo Ran, who's date had been ruined, sat in his boiling hatred of Chu Wanning - he wanted to burn all Chu Wanning's books!!

No!

After thinking it over, he thought of something even worse. . .

Previous Chapter Next Chapter

[viking-raider]

Southern Generation - Part III *Mature*

Summary: Sy and Lily had a harmonious bubble around them, but ripples are sent through it, with an action of Lily’s and the past haunting Austin.

Pairing: Captain Syverson/Reader

Word Count: 6,211

Warning: M - Language, Fluff, Domestic Kink, PTSD, Attempted Overdose, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Teeny White Lie, Stalking and Harassment

Inspiration: It’s Sy, need I say more?

Author’s Note: Loving this story! Much love to @wondersofdreaming​!

Lily laughed as she played tug-a-war with Aika in the living room, the sound of Sy putting up the last of the siding vibrated throughout the house, with her laughs and Aika's playful growling. The hammering stopped and Sy appeared through the front door, smiling at the two partners in crime.

“I need to go into town.” Sy told Lily, when her attention settled onto him. “The saw blade has dulled and I need to replace it.” He explained to her.

“All right.” She nodded, letting Aika take her rope. “I need to get lunch going.”

“I shouldn't be too long.” He promised, then left.

Sy wasn't gone a minute, when the phone rang in the kitchen and Lily moved to pick it up, before she missed it. “Hello?” She answered, pressing the receiver to her ear with her shoulder and turned towards the refrigerator. “Hello?” She frowned, pulling out food items for her and Sy's lunch.

“How's the business going?” A voice finally answered her.

Lily froze, hand resting on the loaf of bread she was reaching for. “How did you get this number?” She gulped, her heart racing and pounding in her ears.

“I bet once that caveman finishes fixing up the place, it'll look brand new.”

“Ho-” She gasped, a dizzying wave of nausea punched her in the gut, as reality set in.

“Soon, Lily. Soon.” The voice chuckled, then the line went dead.

The phone slipped off of Lily's shoulder and clattered to the floor, alerting Aika, who was chewing on her rope in the living room, and came running in, barking in inquiry and suspicion, standing close to Lily's feet and looked up at her, head cocked to the side. Lily gripped the edge of the counter in front of her, trying to take deep breaths in and out, but her vision swam with an overflow of tears and her chest felt like an elephant was standing on it. She turned and stumbled up the staircase in the kitchen that led upstairs, and went into the hall bathroom, locking herself inside, Aika bounding after her and barking at the bathroom door.

“How? How is this possible?” She trembled, pacing the small space. “I was so careful, so careful. It’s not possible. It’s just a sick joke, from some disgruntled customer. But, what if it isn’t? What if it’s really. Where did I go wrong? I put so many miles between us.”

Her hands shook and she struggled to breath, furious tears streaming down her flushed cheeks. Flashback after flashback rippling through her horrified and panicked mind, her stomach lurched and she dropped to her knees, wrenching violently into the bowl and losing her breakfast into it. She sat there for a long time, before making up her mind, standing up and opening the medicine cabinet, removing a prescription bottle from inside and popped the top off of it. She knew this was a drastic and dark turn to things as she dumped the bottle into her hand, but it wasn’t as dark and ominous, if the voice on the other end of the phone kept their word about finding her, and Lily wasn’t going to take that chance.

She gulped down dozens of the teeny pills, swallowing them down with sink water, then slowly sank down to the floor.

Sy returned twenty minutes later, with a new saw blade and rumbling stomach. He expected, as always, to find Lily had set his lunch down on the table in the breakfast nook, and was either eating hers as well, or she was patiently waiting for him, so they could eat together.

Instead, he entered the house and heard Aika barking incessantly upstairs, which was unusual.

“Lily!” He called out, rounding into the kitchen, finding lunch foods on the counter, some half opened, and the phone on the floor. “Lily!” He yelled out again, a pit forming in his stomach as he mounted the stairs to the second floor.

He had never been upstairs before, everything he needed in the house was downstairs, the kitchen and half bath, so he was unfamiliar with the layout. But, as he reached the second floor landing, he found Aika standing in front of a closed door, barking, whining and scratching at the wood. He crossed the hall and lifted his hand, knocking softly on the door, and listening inside.

“Lily?” He called, knocking again. “Lily, are you all right in there?” He asked, growing even more concerned, when he didn't receive an answer.

Not waiting a moment longer, Sy pushed Aika away from the door and forced it open with his shoulder. As the door flung open and banged against the wall behind it, Sy rushed into the room and felt his heart plummet out of his body, finding Lily laying on the worn and discolored tile floor. He dropped to his knees as he scrambled over to her, cupping her cold, but sweaty, face in his hands, her eyes were rolled back and half lidded, her breathing was shallow and the scent of vomit permeated in the small space. Sy, despite his heart rocketing in his chest, was reasonably calm, his combat cool kicking in, as he quickly pressed his fingers to the spot under the corner of her jaw, feeling how faint her heartbeat was.

“Shit.” He snapped, under his breath, scanning the room, he found a prescription bottle that had rolled under the lip of the vanity, swiped it up and pocketed it. “Lily.” He called, patting her pale cheeks, trying to get any response out of her. “Come on, Lily. Answer me.” He begged her, patting her cheeks a little harder. “What were you thinking.” He growled, then rubbed his knuckles against her sternum in firm circles.

“Oh, thank god.” He sighed, when she whimpered at the painful rub. “Lily, open your eyes and look at me. Come on, darling, look at me.” He coaxed her, rubbing her chest again, but not with his knuckles, just trying to keep her responsive.

“Sy.” She whimpered, eyes fluttering.

“Yeah, love.” He nodded, shifting to pick her up into his arms and carried her out of the bathroom and down the stairs. “Don't worry, honey, I've got you. I'll take care of you and get you to the hospital.” He told her, carrying her out to his truck and got her strapped into the passenger seat, before hopping in and gunning it down the driveway, relieved at his slight laziness, that he left the gate wide open.

“Come on, Lily. Talk to me.” He told her, reaching out to squeeze her shoulder as she whined and pressed her forehead against the window. “Tell me something, anything.”

“I wanna sleep.” She whimpered, brows creased.

“No, no, you can't do that.” Sy shook his head at her, pulling her away from the window. “What color do you want me to paint the house?” He asked, trying to think of anything to keep her engaged long enough to get her to the emergency room.

“What about purple, with hot pink polka dots?” He grinned, blue eyes light up, but still scared for her.

“I hate pink.” Lily whined, her head moving to rest on Sy's broad and stiff shoulder.

“So, pink polka dots.” He said in a voice that said he agreed with the choice.

“No.” She groaned, shaking her head with a whimper, then fell quiet again.

“No, no! Come on, Lily, don't fall asleep.” He begged her, feeling her body relax against him.

The tires of Sy's truck squealed as he parked outside the hospital, pulling Lily out, he quickly carried her into the emergency room, his usual 'cool under pressure' attitude was starting to slip with the desperate situation. The nurse at the station instantly noticed Sy carrying Lily in and read how bad the situation was, jumping out of her seat and barking orders, while guiding Sy to a place he could lay her down and they could start working on her.

“What happened?” She asked Sy.

“I'm pretty sure she overdosed on these.” Sy replied, taking the prescription bottle out of his pocket and handed it to her. “I don't know why she decided to do it, I just found her unresponsive on the bathroom floor. She was responsive for a few minutes, but then stopped just before we got here.”

“How do you know her?” The nurse asked, reading the name off the bottle.

Sy bit his lip, he knew if he admitted that he only worked for Lily as a handyman, then they wouldn't let him see her until after they had done everything they could for her. So, he fibbed. “She's my fiancée.” He told her, his voice steady and his face gave away nothing, but his concern for her.

“So, her name is Lily Ana Moore?” The nurse asked, reading the name off the prescription label.

“Yes, ma'am.” Sy nodded, though he wasn't aware of her middle name.

“And, you are?” She asked, looking up at him.

“Austin Syverson.” He replied, glancing over to Lily's bed as she whimpered.

“We'll take the best care for her, Mr. Syverson.” the Nurse promised him, resting a gentle hand on his forearm and gave it a tender squeeze.

They tended to Lily, while Sy stepped out into the waiting room, he was too high strung and agitated to sit down, so he paced from the humming vending machine and the automatic doors. His mind roiled over reasons and scenarios as to why Lily would try to overdose. She had been fine, before he left to the hardware store for a new saw blade, playing tug-a-war with Aika and about to make them lunch. What could have happened in the, maybe, fifteen minutes he was away, that was so frightening that she would rather take her life, than to either face it or tell him about it. If she had said something to him, told him that she was afraid of something, or someone, then he would have promised to protect her.

In a heartbeat.

“I’ll protect her from now on.” He muttered to himself, still pacing the room.

Once they were satisfied with how stable she was, then sent her up to a private room for an overnight observation, Sy stayed with her the whole time, never leaving her side, even once she was stable and in her room. He sat in a chair beside her bed, chin resting on his chest as he snored softly, the room was dark and quiet, minus the heart monitor she was hooked up too. It was late, when Lily did finally come back around on her own, sighing and whimpering, her body feeling spent and sluggish. She opened her eyes and instantly recognized she wasn't in her own bed, but a strange room, and panic started to set it, causing her to wake Sy.

“Hey.” He sighed, rubbing his tired face and leaning forward to take her hand in his. “You're all right, Lily.” He told her, his voice rough from sleep.

“Where am I?” She asked, squeezing his hand, like it was a lifeline, calm now that she realized Sy was there, watching over her.

“The hospital.” He replied, thumb rubbing the top of her hand. “I barely managed to get you here, after that stunt you pulled.”

She let out a heavy breath and rested back against her pillow, squeezing her eyes shut. “I'm sorry, Sy.” She whispered, not opening her eyes again. “I didn't mean to scare you.”

“And what did you mean to do?” He asked, lifting a brow at her. “Why would you try killing yourself?”

“It's complicated.” She replied, sighing again and opening her eyes.

“Then, uncomplicate it.” Sy begged her, wanting to understand what she was thinking.

“I can't.” Lily shook her head, the fear that had gripped her before her attempt started to return.

Sy could feel the tremble in her hand as it gripped his, he knew there was something she was afraid of, that she was trying to run and hide from, and wanted to help her so much, to protect her, so badly. He got up out of his chair and sat on her bedside, holding her hand in his lap and gently brushed his fingers against her cheek.

“You don't have to be afraid.” He whispered, gently. “I promise, I will protect you.”

“Don't make a promise, you can't keep, Austin.” Lily replied, meeting his eye.

“I can, and I will.” Sy replied, his stomach twitched, hearing her use his first name. “Is there anything I can do for you?” He asked, lifting a brow at her.

Lily paused a moment, regarding him, then bit her lip. “Lay with me?” She whispered, gulping at the strangeness of her own request.

Sy blinked at her for a moment, it was a bit of an odd request, but, if that's what she wanted of him, then Sy would gladly do it. He nodded, feeling slightly awkward, then toed out of his boots, while she shifted and turned onto her side, so Sy had room to lay down with her. He let her shift, her back pressing against his chest, and tucked his arm under her head, gently pulling the blankets over them and resting his other arm over her side.

“This must be awkward for you.” She mumbled, a few minutes later.

“Actually, it's not.” He chuckled back, his breath lightly caressing the back of her hair. “The most awkward thing that I've ever done, happened on my very first deployment to Iraq.”

Lily turned her head to look back over at him. “Tell me about it?”

Sy smiled at her, biting his lip. “So, it was my first deployment, back in 2004, I had been in the country a week, but hadn't left base yet in that time.” He started to explain to her. “So, my first outing off the base was a decent distance, and at some point, I ended up needing to go to the restroom.”

She laughed, starting to get the picture, making Sy smile.

“Now, I wasn't naive. I knew there wasn't a bathroom for several klicks, and I doubted any of the locals were going to let my ass in to use their bathroom.” He laughed, making them both shake from its mirth. “So, I asked my commander, cause then, I was just some lowly runt, where I could go. He walked away for a moment and came back, carrying a short handled shovel, handed it to me and said, 'pick a spot.' motioning to the wide open field we were in.”

“Oh lord, no.” She grinned, blushing at the thought of digging a random hole and going in it. “Tell me you didn't!”

“Of course, I did!” He grinned back. “I really had to go, and I wasn't holding it for another hour on patrol and three hours back. So, I dug a hole, dropped my cameos and did my business, with six guys, more or less, watching me.”

“Watching you?”

“Well, they had to make sure no one snuck up on me, and tried to kill me.” He chuckled, fully amused.

“You're braver than I am.” Lily said, after they stopped laughing. “I would have held it.” She giggled, shaking her head at the thought, relaxing in his arms.

“I think that makes you much braver.” Sy whispered, feeling the change in her breathing against the skin of his bicep as she drifted back off to sleep. “So much braver.”

“Sy, you can't sleep on the couch like this.” Lily sighed, finding him on the couch in the living room.

Ever since she returned home from the hospital, Sy insisted on sleeping on the couch, not wanting to leave her alone in the house. She had tried convincing him that she was all right, that he didn't need to sleep there and keep an eye on her.

“You should go home to Austin, sleep in your own bed.” She told him, handing him a cup of fresh coffee.

“I haven't slept in my own bed, in nearly a month.” Sy replied, taking several deep gulps of the hot brew.

“What?” Lily snapped, sitting down beside him, with a cup of tea. “Still!”

“I told you, I've been sleeping at the motel in Celina.” He confessed to her. “I've been too tired most nights to safely drive back to Austin, and it's only a couple minutes from here, instead of three hours.” He told her, rubbing a hand over his face.

“And I told you, you didn't need too, Sy?” Lily sighed, annoyed with him.

“Because, you would have wanted to pay for it.” He countered.

“No, I would have given you the guest room upstairs, like I said.” She countered back, lifting a brow at him. “And, if you insist on staying here, then I suggest you take the room, instead of the couch, so at least then, you can stretch out and not wake up all stiff and uncomfortable.” She told him, firmly.

“Especially, since Aika seems to enjoy sleeping with you.”

Lily had come downstairs at night, several times, to find Sy's long body stretched out on the couch, his head resting on one armrest, while his feet hung over the other one, and Aika's large body laid on top of him, like some sort of furry blanket.

“I've already made it up for you.” She added, getting back up and going into the kitchen.

Sy got up and followed her, setting his coffee down on the breakfast nook table. “Lily-”

“We both know, you're not going to leave me alone in the house, Austin.” Lily huffed, yanking open the refrigerator door. “So, there's no use for your additional discomfort, by sleeping on a couch that has zero support or comfort, especially after you've spent all day breaking your back to fix up my property.” She explained to him, pulling out a carton of eggs and milk, before letting the door of the original Big Chill refrigerator slam shut behind her.

“There's a comfortable bed in the guestroom, that's situated against the window, with a small walk-in closet and dresser, as well as being across from the hallway bathroom. As I said, I made the bed up for you, clean sheets and pillowcases. I opened the window as well, to air it out, since it's usually closed up and unused.” She explained to him, pulling out a pan and setting it on the stove, clicking on the gas burner.

“I do need to warn you, that the hot water tap in the upstairs bathroom, doesn't work.”

“Is there something wrong with the hot water heater?” Sy asked, lifting a brow at her.

“Not that I'm aware of, but I also don’t know crap about them, so I wouldn't know where to look or how to fix it, without replacing the thing completely. But, I don't think there is a problem with it.”

“Why's that?”

“Because, the hot water in all the sinks work, and the hot water in my master bathroom works as well.” She explained to him, whipping up a pancake batter, while the pan heated up. “I just don't understand why the hot water in that particular bathroom doesn't work.”

“Has it worked at any point, while you lived here?” Sy asked, watching her.

Lily paused and sighed, her brow creasing as she stared off in the middle distance for a moment, trying to recall. “I don't think so.” She finally replied, going back to the batter.

“Hm.” Sy frowned, his own brow deeply creased as he mauled over the numerous reasons the hot water wouldn't work. “I'll check it after breakfast.” He answered, pressing his lips together. “Do you need any help?” He asked, watching her fuss over the rest of breakfast.

“Yeah, can you flip the pancakes for me.” She nodded, side stepping the stove, so he could flip them.

Sy nodded, taking up the rubber spatula she was using and gripped the handle of the pan, carefully working the edge of the spatula around the sides of the bubbling pancake, before slipping it under and flipped it, quite unsuccessfully, splattering half cooked batter all over the pan. Lily saw it from the corner of her eye and laughed, shaking her head at him.

“Have you never flipped a pancake before, Captain?” She teased, turning to face him.

“I have, I'm just shit at it.” He replied, grinning at her, but Lily could see the warmth seeping into his hairy cheeks.

“Here.”

Lily stepped between Sy and the stove, gripping his hand, that still held the utensil, and guided him to the other pancake in the pan, gently slipping the edge of the spatula under it, and with a quick flick of their wrists, she helped him flip over the pancake, perfectly.

“See?” She smiled up at him, her blue eyes filled with pride. “You just have to do it quick and steady, like ripping off a plaster.” She picked up the batter and poured some of it into the sizzling pan. “Give it a minute, then try flipping it again.”

With that, she turned back to what she was doing, dicing up some potatoes. “Look at you!” She exclaimed, watching Sy's smooth pancake flip.

“You're a good teacher.” He smiled at her, setting the finished pancakes on a plate beside the stove.

“Would you like bacon or sausage?” She asked, opening the refrigerator again, turning her head to look at him, a brow lifted in curiosity.

Sy licked his lips and got a funny feeling in his stomach, something he had never felt before, not even as a young boy. He felt like he—belonged, here and now, with Lily. It was a natural feeling of domestic belonging, like there was a oneness between them and he had found his rightful place in the world.

“Sy?” Lily frowned at him, concerned.

She saw that far off look in his eye and worried he was having a flashback. She had seen him have them before, and after the first one, where he nearly took her head off, Lily learned not to touch Sy, calling his name, usually, did the trick of bringing him back around. But, this time was different, there was a sparkle in his cerulean eyes, and a soft smile on his lips.

“Austin?” She said, carefully, licking her lips and feeling butterflies in her stomach.

Sy blinked several times and focused on her, smiling completely, warm and happy. “Sausage, please.” He finally replied, cocking his head at her.

“Okay.” Lily nodded back, eyes wide like a doe's. “Why don't you sit down and relax, I can finish up.” She suggested, motioning to the table. “Your coffee is getting cold.”

“Sure.”

He kept smiling at her, even as he sat down at the table and sipped his cooling coffee; watching her drop the finely diced potatoes into the pan, stirring them around as they cooked and browned, before cracking three eggs on the edge of the pan and dumped the contents in with the potatoes, then tossed the shells into the empty bowl the pancake batter was in. She kept stirring the browned potatoes and fluffy eggs together, then added sliced up sausage. Finishing it up, she brought the food to the table and Sy served himself, heaping the potato, egg and sausage scramble onto his plate with four large pancakes, drizzling maple syrup everywhere. Lily picked Sy's now empty coffee cup up and filled it with fresh coffee, putting in two sugars and set it back down in front of his plate.

“You know how I take my coffee.” He asked, digging his fork into his mountain of food.

“I've known you for several months at this point, so, it's only natural that I've noticed things about you.” She chuckled, sitting down and making her own plate for breakfast.

“Fair enough.” He laughed, and got down to eating.

After breakfast, and helping Lily wash and dry the dishes, Sy went upstairs to the hallway bathroom to try and figure out why the hot water wasn't coming out of the tap. He tested it, spinning the hot tap all the way over, water jetting out of the shower head. He left it running for several long minutes, touching it periodically, and only found it to be even colder than when it first came out. Pressing his lips together and sighing through his nose, Sy turned the tap off and went downstairs to his truck, taking out the tool box from the back and carried it back inside, removing the faucet cover and checked the valve. He removed the tap handle, unscrewed the plate and reached inside for the valve, finding it was broken.

“There you are, you pesky little shit.” He said, setting it on the sink counter. “I need a new one.” He sighed. “Lily.” He called out, going down the hall to her office.

“Sy?” She called back, her eyes still on the work on her computer screen.

“I found the problem with the shower in the hall bath.” He told her, standing in the office doorway. “I'm going to go down to the hardware store to get a replacement part for it.” He explained, looking her over as she sat cross legged in her office chair.

“Will you be okay, while I'm gone?” He asked, his tone careful.

Lily's shoulders slumped and she looked over at him. “I'll be fine, Austin.” She told him, slightly annoyed with him being so overprotective, though she appreciated it and felt incredibly safe with him around. “Go, and if you remember, can you bring me back some Reese cups?” She asked, as he turned to leave.

“I've got a mad chocolate craving going on.”

“A hot shower and chocolate coming up.” He grinned at her, and left for the store. “Keep an eye on her, Aika.” He whispered to the pup as she laid spread out on the front porch, enjoying the warm rays of the sun; patting her on the head.

Aika huffed at him, before getting up and strolling inside, climbing the stairs and wandering into Lily's office, then laid down at her feet, dropping back off to sleep. Lily smiled down at her, bending in her chair to pat her between her proudly standing ears, then returned to her work. Sy returned an hour later, with four packages of king sized Reese Cups and the replacement hot water valve.

“Christ.” Lily laughed, when he set the candy down in front of her. “Did you buy the store out?” She teased, looking up at him.

“Actually,” Sy grinned brazenly at her. “I did. It was all they had in the little corner store, next to the hardware store.” He confessed, he thought it would be funny to buy them all, and one can never have enough chocolate.

“Thank you.” She giggled, opening one of them up, amused by his sense of humor and popped one into her mouth..

“You're welcome.” Sy nodded his head to her, butterflies filling his stomach hearing her laugh, making her laugh, and gulped as he watched her take the candy whole into her mouth, feeling something stir much lower than his stomach, before turning and going back to fix the shower.

“Is it working?” Lily asked, a little while later, coming into the bathroom to watch him work.

“See for yourself.” Sy replied, turning the tap on and stepping aside.

Lily stepped forward and held her hand out under the streaming water, feeling the pleasant warmth of it. She looked over her shoulder at Sy and smiled at him, proud and amazed. “That's amazing! Is there anything you can't fix?” She asked, drying her hand on the towel hanging on the rack.

“Oh, I'm sure there is.” Sy smiled, leaning back against the vanity. “But, if I encounter it, I'm sure I could figure it out.”

“I'm sure you would.” Lily smiled, patting him on the chest as she went out of the bathroom.

Sy beamed with pride, seeing how happy and proud of him she was, her gentle pat only re-enforcing that fact.

Later that night, Sy took the duffle bag he had filled with his clothing and other things he needed, upstairs to Lily's offered guestroom. It was a sweet little room, the window let in a lot of light during the day and he could see Billie Marlowe's crops and the beautiful night sky as he laid in bed. The dresser was big enough for all his things. He toed out of his boots and sat down on the edge of the bed, then laid back. It was a comfortable bed, more comfortable than the couch and the bed in the motel room he had been renting.

Satisfied, Sy stood, pulled out a pair of shorts and a black tank top, with a bar of soap, and crossed the hall to the bathroom.

He stood under the hot spray of the shower head, letting it seep into his tired and sore body for a while, before soaping up his body, head to toe, rinsed and dressed, before stepping out of the steamy bathroom. He paused in the hall and turned his head, Lily's room was at the end of the hall, the staircase leading into the kitchen between them, and her door was closed. But, he could hear the soft creaks of her moving about her room, no doubt doing the similar ritual he was, before going off to sleep.

Sighing, he went into his room, leaving the door cracked open for Aika to come in and out, and crawled into bed, the washed sheets and quilt smelled just like Lily, and he couldn't suppress the moan that escaped from deep in his throat, pressing the quilt to his nose and inhaling deeply. She smelled amazing, he wondered what her skin smelled like, before drifting off.

Lily wasn't sure what time it was, when she first heard it. At first, she thought it was just part of the dream she was having, but as it came more regularly, she realized it wasn't in her dream, but in the house. Her eyes opened, blinking in the darkness of her room as she laid still in bed, listening intently.

Yes, it was real and in the house, but what was it?

Shaking her head, she threw her blankets back and got out of bed, tiptoeing to her closed door and pressed her ear to the wood. It was a loud whimper, followed by a whine, with other noises mixed in. Daring to open her door, she stepped out into the hall and slowly followed the noise, down to Sy's room. She pushed open his half open door and peeked inside, Aika was sitting on the side of the bed, whining as she looked up at Sy, who was laying on his back, sweaty brow deeply creased and shaking his head, like he was trying to wake himself up, to no avail.

“Move.” He called out, body jerking. “Tristan.” He yelled out, then whined.

“Sy.” She called out to him, standing in the doorway. “Sy, wake up.”

But, he didn't.

Biting her lip, and stepping into the fray, Lily moved to the side of the bed, her stomach clenched as she sat down beside him, waiting for him to suddenly lunge at her, but he didn't. Her heart was pounding as she reached out and gently wiped away the heavy sweat on his brow, he made a sound, between a sigh and a growl as she did, his hands coming up, but fell back to the bed, before reaching her. She frowned at him, stroking the side of his face, his hair was slightly longer than it had been, when he first came. He usually kept it very short, but with her going into the hospital, he had neglected cutting it.

She touched the side of his head, feeling the soft hair just above his ear, then petting down his neck and cupping his cheek.

“It's all right.” She cooed at him in a soft and silky voice. “Ssshh, it's all right.” She spoke to him softly, caressing his bearded cheek with her thumb and rubbed his chest through the thin black material of his tank top.

Sy's wide and alarmed eyes shot open and he snapped upright, gasping for air and shaking, but he didn't lash out at her, like he had on the porch that day. She bit her lip, watching this bear of a man tremble, struggling to control his breathing and so frightened. Lily laid her hand on his tense shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze; Sy's head snapped to the side, looking at her, but not quite seeing her, but the face of the teammate he had been calling out for, one of the first men Sy had ever lost in combat.

“Lily.” He whispered, in a disembodied voice. “What are you doing here?” He asked, suddenly sounding alarmed and panicked, his sweaty body rigid. “It’s not safe, you have to leave, before more of them show up.” He told her, his voice still sounding discorporated.

“Who, Austin?” Lily frowned, shaking her head at him, not understanding what he was talking about. “Who’s coming?”

Sy’s vision hyper-focused on the small gap between them, twitching quickly side to side, like he was trying to reconnect unplugged wires in his jumbled up and confused mind, struggling to remember if he was in reality with Lily or in the nightmare of a long ago mission in Iraq that had gone bad for everyone involved, changing Sy forever, the first hung thread in a thick web of PTSD and flashbacks. But, the gentle touch of Lily’s hands on him, the soft whisper of his name in her voice, the close warmth of her body and her sweet smell gave Sy the traction he needed to pull himself back to reality and consciousness.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered, biting his lip, self-conscious. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“It’s all right.” She replied, then wrapped her arms around him, hugging him against her and rubbing his back. “It's okay, Austin.” She whispered into his ear as he buried his face into her neck. “You're okay. Safe and sound, back home, and with me.” She told him, closing her eyes as his arms wrapped around her waist and he clutched her against his sweaty and shaking body.

“I've got you, Austin.” She assured him and rested her cheek against his temple, tenderly rubbing the back of his head. “I won't let anything happen.”

Sy nuzzled his face into her neck, taking deep breaths to calm himself down and took in the comforting scent of her skin as he did, it helped him relax, as did the soft words she whispered into his ear and the soothing touch of her hand on his head or on his back. He didn't want to let her go, afraid that as soon as he did, she would fade away and the nightmares would come back, having only tricked him into thinking it was her.

Even though her heart thundered in her chest, she made a choice. “Come on, Austin.” She said into his ear, patting him on the back and wiggling in his arms, trying to entice him to let her go, so she could stand up.

“Where?” He whimpered into her neck.

She licked her lips. “Come to bed with me.” She told him, her lips brushing the rim of his earlobe. “Let me hold you and keep the nightmares away.”

Sy moaned softly into her ear, but his arms secured themselves around her waist, shifting her into his lap and stood, picking her up, still very unwilling to let her go, even for the minute it would take to go down to her room. So, he carried her down the hall and laid down in her bed, only then, letting her go long enough for her to cover them up and lay down beside him. Sy turned onto his side, wrapping his arms around her and hugged her against his body, his head laying on her chest.

Lily frowned, sympathetically, down at Sy, caressing his head, neck and shoulders, whispering soft things to him, soothing and lulling him back to sleep, with the pound of her heart in his ear and the pillow-y warmth of her skin and breasts under his head.

“My sweet bear.” She cooed at his sleeping form, then kissed the top of his head.