#( a whole roasted chicken u say......... )

[erabundus]

❝ through her eyes of perfect ambiguity ... we were born to keep the WORLD in harmony ...  ❞

[finniestoncrane]

💜🍴 Finnie's 1.5k Follower Event 🍴💚

CLOSED by health inspector

even though it felt like this took forever it really didn't because i've only been on here and writing for just over a year, and i'm so grateful that people still follow me despite my personality as a whole lmao, i wanted to do something silly and goofy so here's my prompt list for my milestone ;-; hello and welcome to the vill-inn, gotham's newest restaurant (and definitely 100% not a money-laundering front for nefarious rogue activity no sirree u-u) please come on in and peruse the menu and let us know what you want to eat!! send in your order + reader/insert gender/pronouns/genitals too! the restaurant is now closed as well as writing headcanons and drabbles, i'm also doing a little give away! so anyone who asks off anon (or not, check the specials menu below) i'll enter into a little silly draw for a 1k commission and pick 3 winners u-u 🔞minors dni🔞 • masterlist • kofi link • tag: finnie1500 (to follow or to block)

Hello, welcome to Vill-Inn, how will you be DIE-ning with us today?

Sit-In [drabbles/short fic]

Takeout [bullet-point/free form story/headcanon style]

Delivery [surprise me]

Great! Wonderful! What can I get you to drink? And don't say fear toxin! (I'm this close to quitting...) (pick 1)

Water [hurt/comfort]

Soda [angst]

Milkshake [fluff]

Signature Cocktail [smut/pwp]

Black Coffee [doesn't matter/surprise me]

And what will you be having for your MAIM course? (pick 1, feel free to specify the version)

Question Mark Shaped Nuggies [riddler]

Sushi Platter [penguin]

Pumpkin Ravioli [scarecrow]

Surf and Turf [two face]

Arroz con Pollo [bane]

Steak [victor zsasz]

Cucumber Sandwiches [mad hatter]

Garden Salad [poison ivy]

Gut Buster Burger [harley quinn]

Gazpacho [mr freeze]

Plain Noodles with Butter [john doe]

Gumbo [killer croc]

BBQ Platter [captain boomerang]

And what loyal side(kick)s are you having with that? (pick up to 4)

🍟 Regular Fries [waking up with them]

🧇 Waffle Fries [sex in a public place]

🍠 Sweet potato Fries [visiting them in Arkham/Blackgate]

➰ Curly Fries [only one bed]

🍁 Poutine [slow dancing]

🥔 Potato Skins [at a party]

🍕 Pizza Bites [tending to wounds]

🍗 Chicken Wings [confession/confessing feelings]

🍔 Sliders [exacting revenge]

🌭 Mini Dogs [hate/angry sex]

🍤 Popcorn Shrimp [hugs from behind]

🐔 Chicken Strips [oral sex/how they give and receive]

🍿 Cheese Popcorn [bite marks/marking kink]

🥒 Deep Fried Pickles [sloppy kisses]

🧅 Blooming Onion [being rejected]

🍘 Rice Crackers [choking]

🍞 Bread Rolls [blood play]

🧄 Garlic Bread [straddling]

🥖 Breadsticks [neck/wrist kisses]

🥪 Half Sandwich [giving/receiving praise]

🥣 Soup [argument]

🍜 Noodles [cuddles]

🍚 Steamed Rice [denial]

🦪 Oysters [rough sex]

🍣 Sushi Sampler [edging/orgasm denial]

🌽 Corn on the Cob [instructional masturbation]

🥕 Honey Glazed Carrots ["open your mouth"]

🥗 Green Salad ["do you need a hand?"]

🍅 Tomato Salad ["i have to go"]

🍏 Fruit Salad ["i shouldn't have to ask"]

🍆 Roasted Veg ["i've never done this before"]

🥦 Seared Broccoli ["i hate you"]

🧀 Cheese Platter ["it's too late"]

🍖 Meat Plate ["i've never wanted anything more"]

🍄 Sauteed Mushrooms ["do you want it rough or gentle?"]

🥑 Guacamole ["please don't leave"]

🥜 Toasted Peanuts ["i want to hear you"]

🥓 Bacon Bits ["i didn't say stop"]

💚 Specials Menu 💚

I'm Here For A Blind Date [tell me a bit about yourself and i'll do a character pairing for who you're having lunch with]

Can I Get A Seat At the Buffet? [i don't have an idea/want to ask off anon, but i want to be included in the draw - this message won't be answered]

thanks for visiting, and please feel free to tip your wait staff 💜

[nerdbarbie]

Hii just reading about Buffy is so fun (coincidentally both of ours are children of divorce?? Omg?? She’s with her mom though)

I have a couple questions about your Buffy!! What’s Buffy’s favorite movie?? Or comic?? Or any nerd paraphernalia :3

fav foods? Least fav? oh and any fun facts!

CHILD OF DIVORCE BESTIES REAL . buffy vc what's ur mom like. do u think she'd like tall stage hand guys. my dad's so lonely-

Buffys a huge fan of Wonder Woman: Amazonia bc she's an academic little dweeb and really likes alternate history stories! Second Genesis is also a favorite of hers. She really likes stories that especially focus on how Diana is often torn between two worlds, wanting to be true to her Amazonian nature but also her role as an ambassador to humans. It makes Buffy feel very seen and she compares it to her own frustrations a lot!

She tells her cheer friends her favorite movies are Clueless and Can't Buy Me Love. She tells the boys her favorites are Batman Returns and Turtles: The Original Movie. She tells neither group of her love for The Crow, Tank Girl and The Craft.

Her favorites shows are Wonder Woman, Sabrina the Teenage Witch and Buffy the Vampire Slayer!

She has an issue of Wonder Woman signed by Lynda Carter, courtesy of her dad from a show he was working on

Her favorite food to cook is roast chicken over veggies, but her favorite to eat is pasta with homemade sauce ( preferably vodka sauce ) and crusty bread. She hates pudding and anything with an overly "gloopy" texture and she likes the taste of things like Cheetos, but hates the sensation of dust all over her fingers so she rarely eats them.

FUN FACTZ

She's anemic and has a tendency to shove her death cold hands up her friends' shirts to scare them ( and siphon heat )

Chronic black head popper. Unfortunately. Her skin is usually clear, so she harasses the boys into letting her go at them with a comodone extractor

She's a flyer on her cheer squad and actually writes a lot of the cheers, but especially the taunts and battle cheers. It's a good outlet for her to get out her negative emotions

She's kind of a doormat and it's ironically being friends with the boys that starts to remedy that for her, in a way. Yes, they can be shitty, but they also make her feel more comfortable in her own interests and sometimes they're SO intolerable that she HAS to snap at them. This also leads to her standing up to her cheer friends more!

At the start of the story, she's dating Mitch ( one of the guys that yeeted the boys out of the theater, also a football player in this ) as part of a set up with two other cheerleaders, Brittany and Britney. She's not really into him. He's not really into her. They eventually break it off when they realize this because they'd been protecting each other's feelings the whole time.

Certified Parent Charmer. If any of her friends are ever worried that their parents will say no to them, send in the Buffy. She'll butter em up into saying yes.

Loves slumber parties, they're her favorite activity ever. She gets pizza money from her dad, bakes cookies, decorates, she really goes all out

Smells like you just walked into a Victoria's Secret. Fruity, lightly floral, sweet. Overall very nice

She gets her license at 17 and saves up to buy a red pick up truck with a bench seat. It's practically a death trap, but it's her baby and she loves driving people around in it. She named it Lady Macbeth!

She's incredibly smart and a straight A student. She lets people assume she's dumb because she's pretty and a cheerleader, but she's really not! She's genuinely very passionate about her academics.

[betterfettered]

Hiii there 😚💌💌

If the requests are still welcome then I wonder how would a character your choice of: Lucifer/satan/diavola would disguise(?) their yandere tendencies. Like a scenerio where they pretend everythings domestic and nice when its obviously not

Thank you in any case :)

(Gn!reader x AMAB!yandere)(18+ readers only please, mdni)[This is fetish content and abuse is disgusting and inexcusable in real life.] Hi there yourself!

This is such an interesting question! Assuming that you mean trying to disguise it to other people, I actually think that because of the particular brand of weirdoness that these three have, they actually wouldn’t see a…need to disguise it? Hahahaha wait hear me out!! Like in yandere!Lucifer’s case, he has already decided (without your unnecessary input) that the two of you are going to marry. If someone questioned the way he was treating you, I imagine he’d explain that it was perfectly normal for a husband to instruct his spouse in proper decorum, such as never leaving his sight (ever). He’d explain that there isn’t a double standard, either, and you could instruct him in etiquette as well if you wanted to. That would actually be true – even if you told yandere!Luci to do something ridiculous or fussy, as long as it didn’t conflict with his expectations for you he would absolutely do it, being your dutiful and loving husband. He is devoted to you in that way. If someone brought up your apparent unhappiness, he would say it’s just you getting used to the devildom, and if they protested further he’d inform them that he simply does not care about their opinion.

Diavolo in general doesn’t have a lot of experience with his whims being obstructed, so he’d probably be surprised by someone questioning your relationship. At first he’d just be kind of bemused, but then he’d think about it in terms of his public image, and want to make things appear wholesome and stable. The thing is, yandere!Diavolo is always really ecstatic to be around you, because even if you’re upset or silent your presence makes him feel whole and loved. So things that seem bizarre to other people, like you sitting across his lap during tea, shaking with stress and fear beneath the suffocating amount of silks he always has you draped in, would seem like heart-warming romance in his eyes. It’s fine if you’re a little nervous – if he just has a little patience, and drowns you in a little more TLC, you’ll be back to your normal happy self in no time.

Barbatos knows how delusional he is but only looks at you like “wow u hate to see it” LOLL

Satan doesn’t really recognize when he gets too angry and flies off of the handle, like you can see in the Be You Devilgram, so he is another one who wouldn’t even realize that the way he treats you would be horrifying to other people. If someone brought it up, his main thought would be that it’s bad manners to make a scene like that, so he’ll try to keep the unsavory stuff with you private. If you start making him angry in public, he’ll just leave instead of retaliating in the moment. This would not be because he thinks its wrong, though, and if someone asked him about your relationship he’d be pretty honest about what it entails. If someone started telling him that he was wrong for doing so, he’d just fly into a rage at them instead.

Unlike the other two, though, I think Satan has enough self-awareness (?) that people saying he’s horrible to you might make him feel insecure about your relationship. He might arrange a date for the two of you, and blushingly tell you how much you mean to him. It probably wouldn’t be very effective but he also may try to treat you better. Still, what other people think wouldn’t motivate him to try and put up a bluff in front of them.

Do you agree? Disagree? Think I’m a big dummy???

By the way, if you meant trying to hide it to convince their darling that they are normal and not at all seven slices of deli roasted chicken short of a sandwich (what do you mean that’s not an expression!? I can say whatever I want!!!!!), you can ask again! Send meeee more requests and asks 🙇🏾‍♀���

[re-velogs]

btw speaking of periods. here's a couple tips if nobody's told you — and these r just my personal experience of what worked for me, so take with a grain of salt! also just to say it from the jump i hope at least some of this could help a trans woman experiencing periods <3

Caffeine can help with cramps & (some) headaches. Even if it doesn't help you feel more awake or affect you in the typical way for whatever reason, it still helps with the cramps! If you don't like caffeinated beverages, midol or excedrin are both painkiller brands (acetimenophen i believe in both) that have caffeine in the pills as well, so you can take those to help without having to drink coffee or tea etc.

Heating pads or an electric blanket will change your life, but they can be expensive. You can make your own microwaveable heating pad with thick fabric and dried beans for much cheaper, just look up a diy guide to make sure you don't blow up your kitchen in a beancident (tone tag: silly!! very unlikely you can explode your kitchen, but you should still handle it carefully and not microwave it too long). If you don't want to or can't buy a heating pad/hot water bottle/make a heat plush, you can buy those little handwarmer bags at convenience stores (especially in the colder months). They're air activated and not all too expensive and last a while. I would take two or three and put them in a pillowcase and fold it up so i could lay it on my stomach like a heating pad without it directly touching my skin - since that can burn you.

Even if you don't experience bleeding, i would still recommend drinking a lot of water especially if you're like me and can barely get through a 16oz water bottle over two days (i'm working on it shh). It just is really good for you & again, can help with cramps, headaches, fatigue, and tbh even emotional symptoms.

You may not feel like eating anything when ur on ur period and i get it, i really do, but u gotta eat still bc it will make it all so much worse if you're on ur period AND hangry. that said, if you have any food sensitivities i would take extra care to avoid them during ur period bc you don't need to feel bloated and sick from your period And from eating lunch. it's horrid & i would sometimes end up playing myself like this right before a 6-8 hour shift on my feet and talking the whole day (i'm a teacher so i also would have to be explaining things and yknow, teaching without collapsing face first bc stomach ache).

As far as food goes, here's what worked for me: eating the same amount of food i normally do, but instead of 3 big meals and a snack or two (eating every 4 hours or so) i'd take my food amount and spread it out to turn it into a kind of constant nibbling the whole day (so finishing eating something every hour or two). i have stomach issues as-is so this helped prevent nausea and bloating, and also helped my energy stay consistent especially if i mixed it with drinking a lot of water and juice. personally it might be worth it to avoid super heavy/dense foods and invest in easy to make and simpler foods. like, protein bars, fruit strips, fresh fruit (apple slices and peanut butter <3) and veggies (carrots glazed in honey or roasted brussel sprouts are more delicious and easier to make than you think!). also, as much as you can, listen to what your body wants to eat. if ur craving chocolate, eat that. bc it's better to eat and feel good abt what you're eating than either not eating or feeling worse than you already do by forcing urself to eat stuff you don't want.

Last thing about food sorry it's just that eating is so important: If you have a good idea of when you get your period or when the worst symptoms are, try meal prepping the week before. nothing huge and complicated. you can straight up just make like six PB&Js and keep em in the fridge. if you have the energy to cook something you can have as leftovers, awesome! (one of my go to meals was boiling frozen pork & leek dumplings in chicken broth i made from store bought concentrate. took like 15 mins and i could sit by the warm stove and just watch it cook and then pour it in a thermos and then go lay face down somewhere. and it had salt, protein, carbs, veggie, just a great meal. and it being hot helped with cramps plus it was super light on my stomach!!)

Hate to say it but exercise helped so much with making periods manageable. If you can, try taking a 15 min walk each day. at the very least do some stretches within ur ability and comfort to help with general joint pain and keeping your body from feeling "creaky".

I love u please take care of yourself 🤍

[nailgunstigmata]

Kitten Dennis died of starvation months ago how do you feel

no thats not true hes doing great!! he just says he got embarrassed about the attention so i keep him offline now. the pressure of being perfect all the time got to him </3 but i assure u hes doing well and currently gnawing on a whole roasted chicken

[quotidian-oblivion]

Grieving please! Sounds angsty so I’m instantly interested

WELL- You see. It is angsty, my sadeek (arabic for friend), BUT. Idk if i still wanna write it or not. So why dont i just post everything here? (Also, tysm so much for the ask, i dont have a mirror rn but im blushing, thank you)

~

Everyone in this family (except Damian) have lost their parents. So write about each of them going to the graves of their parents and describing what they’ve done with the family and how everyone is behaving. 

Bruce talks to Martha and Thomas Wayne.

Dick talks to John and Mary Grayson.

Jason talks to Willis Todd and Catherine Todd (also Sheila Haywood)

Tim talks to Jack and Janet Drake.

Cass talks to David Cain and Lady Shiva (idk if they’re dead or alive, but if they’re alive then she can just be sending a message to them while at her ballet recital or something. And she sees the Waynes in the front row, some with tears, some with not, but all of them with admiration and she smiles, knowing that they feel more family and home than her parents.)

Damian doesn’t talk to Bruce and Talia. He gets an assignment from school to write about his family in an English essay. He scoffs saying that this is child’s work. Jon reminds him that he is a child and suggests he just act as if he’s writing a diary then submit it since that’s what he does. So Damian, at night, writes about how annoying everyone is. Then he hovers and adds a ‘But…’ After that, he writes about Dick and the things he taught him and the times they spent together, he writes about Jason and how they bond and make fun of people and the different ways they can die and how Jason tells him stories about his time as a street kid cuz he knows that Damian secretly loves hearing them, he writes about Tim and how annoying he is, but that he sometimes sticks up for Damian. He pretends he isn’t doing any favors, but Damian once heard him confronting one of the bullies’ in his class and their parents about how he can completely wreck their business and send them shipped off to Madagascar. He writes about how Tim always defends him and blocks bullets and knives from hitting his back (he writes it like a metaphor, but little does the teacher know…) and how he got his brothers to come to dinner more often after he saw him eating alone. He knows it was Tim cuz everyone except him was sending secret glances at him the whole dinner. He writes about how he and Cass playfully fight and spend time together drawing and how she sometimes teaches some of her ballet moves. He writes about Bruce and how he thinks he failed as a father, but the fact that he’s alive and functioning, especially as someone like him (a vigilante) deserves more credit than given. He writes about Alfred and how he feels like he’s his real grandfather. 

Finally, it’s Alfred. This part is really short. But he’s in the kitchen, pretending to prepare the roasted chicken, but secretly listening to the dinner bickering. He smiles, glad that he stayed in this family. 

~

Ik ur not in the fandom, but im not sure if u know the characters, but i hope u get at least the gist of it. I legit ranted about this (as all of my fics start), but then later when i came back i was like "hmmm, eh, idk" so. Ye.

Thanks again for the ask, amigo.

[clatoera]

uni application season has made me drop off the face of the earth so i'm extremely late coming to this chapter... but omg glim glam and cato.. TRAUMA BONDING?!?!?

cato with a gun. that's the entire review.

i love how simple this chapter is with the most infinite lore ever!!! clove can cook! what! how did that start, what was her favorite recipe, does she partake in... girl dinner?? so many questions.

glimmer with finnick kind of gives the platonic soulmates vibe. i just love how comfortable they are with each other and how much they have this underlying love & respect towards each other even though the other can fuck them over. ugh my beautiful capitol ruined babies.

"“It is. But you can’t change it now. I want to hate you, Finnick. I want to hate you, but then I remember being seventeen and terrified and in pain and you being the only one who could sit with me while I cried in the shower. I want to hate you but you were the one who carried me home after those terrible procedures, every time I cried because I thought I was bleeding to death, Finnick... I want to hate you but it’s hard to hate you when you look so pathetic.” Glimmer takes the risk, reaching her hand out to place it on top of Finnick’s. “How can I hate you, after we ended up in the same terrible sinking boat again.”"

LIKE WHAT? do you have no shame in just ripping out my heart in broad daylight?!?! 'it's hard to hate you when you look so pathetic' is so funny but so sad when you compare it to katniss saying it's hard to be angry at someone who cries so often back in mockingjay. UGH. justice for finnick, he better not die this time around.

CATO WITH A GUN. cato... with a GUN. there should be a hunger games with pipe bombs in it and i think we should place cato in it just for the giggles. i also love how the second they're back with weapons they just revert back to the academy mindset of Kill The Enemy which used to be other tributes but now has morphed into actual treason. well! sucks to be snow i guess! especially now that glim glam is getting her pink gun (which is also bejeweled in my mind)

love it as always! love u! it's all amazing thank u!

Hi bestie! I understand! I am actively working on residency applications as well so I totally understand. I'm actually waiting for my board scores to be released Wednesday so thats why I haven't posted/written another chapter yet, I am literally in too much distress to think of anything else until wednesday afternoon (think of me bc i'm going through it).

Cato and Glimmer trauma bonding was immediately part of the plan once I decided to take Glim Glam to 13. That was a without a doubt going to happen sort of situation if they were together here.

Thank you! The whole idea if these couple of chapters is to establish their lives in 13 and what will happen in a world without the people they love and without anyone to ground them!

Soooo yes Clove can cook. That comes from her childhood, in which she was a neglected little girl in charge of her own meals and keeping herself alive. She learned how to make her little sandwiches and keep herself afloat another day, at like..6...before she went to training at the academy. It compounded in her adult hood as a way to use her knives and keep up to date on fine knifework skills. I think she really got into it once she won and had the time and means to try new recipes. They seem like steak people. Good roast chicken people. I think Miss Clove would participate in girl dinner if not for the fact she's also responsible for feeding her 6'3 man friend who most definitely could not survive on girl dinner with grapes and rice crackers.

Glimmer and Finnick..have gone through a LOT together. They are TRULY trauma bonded and have been working on that bond about 7 years tbh. They have gone through a LOT and they went through a lot TOGETHER. They love each other and they DO respect each other, after all they've been through, they are life long friends. As they deserve.

I did hope it would rip your heart out, if for no other reason than I think it's fun to hear your reaction. I kid i kid but seriously the heart to heart HAD to happen. They had to make up from the whole "hahah no I didn't tell you about a whole rebellion" thing. And while she isn't happy about it, she can't hate him anymore. Not after what they've experienced together and also...because he DOES look pathetic with his little knots.

Cato with a MF gun. That can't even entirely be credited to me. That was honestly @ohhowwehavefallen sending me a tik tok that sent this into existence. She should get credit tbh.

Being back with weapons like..it's almost a comfort for them. It's how they were raised, it's like your favorite stuffed animal after not seeing it for a long time. This is what they know! Weapons! Kill! Enjoy treason! Glimmer has a bedazzled glock everyone watch out!

thank you thank you thank you my love! I am sorry this took me so long, I have been stressing MASSIVE amounts over these exam scores and it's disoriented me!

love you long time bb @lwveless

[astroismypassion]

At first, i just wanna say that i love the way u explain astrology. It's amazing how u can get so many informations at a post, and stuff that isn't easy to find on internet at all. (New to your blog hiiiiii)

While i can't make my whole chart with u (send help to brazilian monetary situation lmfao), could you explain a little one plz?? I have a heavy cancer influence on my Groom asteroid: it's in cancer, at 4th house, 4° degrees. I would like to know a little bit about this one. Thank you!

Hello dear,

ahh thank you, your words really touched me deeply. <3

I attribute this to my Virgo MC. All of feedback I get from working on readers' chart interpretations is often that it's really detailed and in-depth. Because I also talk about degrees and aspects. But I really enjoy it, so detailed? I think this really plays a big part in my manner of working, I like it to be very precise, straight to the point and methodical. (Though, my style of writing was not as appreciated by my teachers, which made me quite self-conscious about the way I write. But you know, you try to outgrow that.).

Now, welcome in our astrology club! Here at astroismypassion we drink coffee and tea, eat chocolate croissants and discuss astrology!

I do agree, when I started researching Composite and Synastry charts for example, the internet was really not as useful, I felt like there was a void, lack of information online about the topic.

"send help to brazilian monetary situation lmfao" I laughed so hard at this part, you are really funny. Well, I emphatize with your situation. From time to time when I have more time, I put out a post with a free natal chart reading submission, so I can work on yours. I do paid readings, but I always take the time to do a few per year that are gifted. I also try to give out back to the community as much as my time allows me.

Oh I love Cancer Groom, I wish I could have that (lol stuck here with Aquarius Groom, well at least is in the 2nd house haha, you can't have everything).

"my Groom asteroid: it's in cancer, at 4th house, 4° degrees"

Woah, this is a strong Cancer Groom! You might experience a proposal in your home, like you two would just be roasting chicken or prepare a meal together and later when you two finish eating they propose to you. Or it could happen in your home town, when you are visiting parents or when you are near a body of water. It could be at a picnic as well. Even a significant holiday is possible, like Christmas. You might also really enjoy music, could be playing in the background. Might be "your" song. I also think you person will give a long sentimental speech or even perform a poem with a guitar. They could also be your best friend or someone you grew up with. This person might be your childhood crush or friend. Or you know them since childhood. Or they are your childhood friend.

@astroismypassion

[louisdotmp3]

uhmm, here is the first bit of ad astra per aspera 2003 bc i want u to have it. after a year. one day maybe soon i will publish the whole thing but until then,

-

Dean stays with Bobby into the new year.  He does some tune ups on the car and helps Bobby out with his projects.  He cooks them breakfast most mornings and it takes him back to one of the long stays he and Sam had spent here before it all went to shit between Bobby and his dad.  He’d been fourteen and said he wanted to learn how to cook and Bobby had laughed and said he only knew how to make breakfast and heat up some soup.  Dean didn’t say it but Bobby made the fluffiest pancakes and the best scrambled eggs he’d ever had, and he’d eaten in diners all over the country at that point.  And besides, when he thought of a home-cooked meal, he thought of this kitchen and Bobby’s hands making food.  

One afternoon Bobby puts on Rumours as they work on an old rusted out Firebird.  A few songs in, Dean asks who this is and Bobby gives him the most scandalized look he’s ever seen in his life.

“Did your Daddy teach you nothin’?'' he asks, half-jokingly.  Dean ducks back under the hood and laughs.  “You’re missing out on the classics, boy.”

Dean tells him about the albums he’s been listening to, from the recommendations of strangers.  Tells him about Ben Folds but not Indigo Girls.  He mentions Tracy Chapman and he knows the tone of his voice is reverent.

“I got a live album of hers around here somewhere.  Remind me tonight and I’ll dig it out for you,” Bobby says.

Dean pops his head over the hood to peer at Bobby, “Really?”

“Sure.”  The next song starts and Bobby puts a hand out and tilts his head up, as if to listen to the music better, “Alright, quiet, pay attention.”

They’re quiet for a few songs, just the sound of their tools and Fleetwood Mac, and then.

Time cast a spell on you but you won't forget me

I know I could've loved you but you would not let me

Dean is abruptly thankful to be able to hide behind the hood of this car.  Then he smiles.  Bobby's picked this album on purpose, of course, and that’s what puts a lump in his throat.  They hadn’t talked about it since the first day, but he spends the first blue days of 2003 in the care of a man who can speak in the languages that don’t get lodged in Dean’s throat.

-

It gets too cold one week to work on the car, even in the little shed serving as a faux-mechanic shop.  Bobby had rigged up a heating setup there but it just wasn’t insulated, so with highs in the single digits they stayed inside for most of the week.  They played cards and Dean slowly made his way through more of Bobby’s sci-fi collection.  Bobby unearthed a pile of his favorite records and Dean played them while he drank coffee and made breakfast in the morning.  

Bobby made an enormous batch of stew and at night they watched Food Network.  One night, Ina Garten said she was making a roast chicken dinner and a tiramisu to welcome her husband home.  Dean thought the roast chicken seemed far, far out of his skill level but the tiramisu…he could see himself making that.  For someone he loved.  Dean took a drink of his beer and pretended his heart didn’t ache.

Dean went out once a day to start the Impala and Bobby’s truck and let them run for a few minutes, and each time came bursting back inside in a gust of cold air rubbing his frozen hands together and grabbing for a fresh cup of coffee.

Bobby eventually frowned at him and said, “Need to get you some real winter gear, you’ll freeze your balls off.”

Dean shrugged, “It’s fine, not that cold.”  Bobby looked at him like he’d spoken gibberish, and okay.  Maybe he deserved that look while he was standing in the kitchen with his shoulders up to his ears cradling a cup of coffee in both hands like it was the only thing keeping him upright.  

Bobby digs around that day and finds him a bright orange ribbed ski hat and an ugly pair of camo hunting gloves.  He wears them the next day when Bobby drives the two of them into town to a Goodwill, and warrants no objections from Dean.  The two of them flip through coats together until they come upon a good, sturdy Carhartt.

“You need anything else?” Bobby asks.  And the thing is, Dean hates thrift stores.  Tries to avoid them whenever he has the cash for a Walmart instead.  He hates thinking about Sam getting made fun of in middle school for the clothes Dean had bought him, hates remembering the two of them swimming in their clothes they’d bought two sizes too big just so they’d last longer.  But this had been unexpectedly nice, just flipping through coats with Bobby and showing him the ones with crazy colors and patterns that made him laugh.

“Yeah, actually,” Dean says.  They end up flipping through shirts and Dean finds a Led Zeppelin t-shirt that he can’t pass up.  While Dean goes to look through the jeans Bobby says he’ll be over in homewares, which Dean thinks is kind of a funny image but just nods and tells him he’ll meet him there.

When Dean makes his way over with the cart Bobby is already walking toward him, two mugs in hand.

“Whatcha got?”

Bobby raises the mugs triumphantly.  They’re two white mugs with blue geese marching around the rim.  It was the mug Dean had seen Bobby drink from as long as he’d known him in duplicate.  “You ever see these you grab ‘em for me, will ya?”

“What, one isn’t enough?”

“It’s just in case.”

“Just in case, what?”

“Just in case I break ‘em,” Bobby says, and puts them in the cart.

“Bobby, how many goose mugs have you broken?” Dean asks.  Bobby just looks at him and then turns to walk toward the register, and Dean laughs.  “Bobby!”

Dean is still laughing as the cashier rings them up and Bobby pays for everything, and it’s not helped that Bobby has pulled on such a gruff look to counteract the revelation that he stockpiles the one mug he’ll drink out of because he can’t help but break them, apparently. 

“Thanks, Bobby,” Dean says as they walk out, seeing as the only things Bobby’d gotten were those two mugs and a paperback, while Dean had taken the opportunity to grab a few pairs of jeans, a few t-shirts, a new belt, the Carhartt, and a University of South Dakota sweatshirt that had looked so comfortable he couldn’t pass it up.  

“You’re welcome, can’t have you traipsing around the country with no real coat, idjit.”  They pile their haul into the back seat of Bobby’s truck and Dean walks the cart back.  “You hungry?” Bobby asks.

“Starving,” Dean says.

“How do you feel about Chinese?”

“There’s Chinese in Sioux Falls?” Dean asks, incredulously.

“This ain’t the middle of nowhere,” Bobby shoots back.

Later Dean wrinkles his nose as the massive plate of egg foo young Bobby ordered is placed on the table.  Bobby rolls his eyes and tells him to stop making that face and try a little.  Dean wrinkles his nose but does.

As always, Bobby is right.

At the end of the meal they crack open their fortune cookies and Dean reads his aloud.

“Miles are covered one step at a time.”

-

Not long after, Dean gets a call.

“Got a case up in Boise I can’t quite figure.”

“Hi, Dad.”

He can hear the tinny roar of a diesel engine starting up through the phone’s tiny speaker, “What’ve you been up to?”

“Oh, this and that.  Need me to do some research?  I can get into it,” Dean offers, but has a feeling he knows where this is going.  Even though he has the best library of supernatural books west of the Mississippi at his disposal in this house, it’s not like he’d tell his dad that.  And anyway, he’s never been the research guy.

“Nah, just need some backup.  Already called someone about hitting the books,” his dad says.  Nothing new under the sun.  “How far out are you?”

“Uh, about a day,” Dean says without thinking.

“Alright, see you then.”  His dad hangs up.

Right.

He momentarily wishes he’d thought faster and given himself more time, and then pushes that thought away.  People were presumably dying and he could help.  The only thing he was doing here was nursing a broken heart and it was probably past time to get back to the real world.  He’d spent nearly a month here without even pretending to check for cases, and he finally lets the guilt tug at him.

It’s time to get back to work.

He finds Bobby in his study.  Bobby’s been working on a translation lately so his desk is more disorganized than usual and there are stacks of books towering precariously, dotted around the room.  It makes Dean’s eye twitch and he desperately wants to get Bobby some more shelves and organize it properly but Bobby said he likes it like this, that there’s a system and he knows where everything is.  He clears his throat.

“Dad called,” he announces.

Bobby looks up, pen in his hand.  He scratches his chin, “Did he.”  It’s not a question, it’s a venomous acknowledgement.  Dean sighs.

“Just needs a little help with a case up in Boise, said I’d be there soon as I could.”

Bobby considers him a moment longer, then sighs and puts down what he was working on.  “You leaving tonight?” Bobby asks.

Dean nods, “Soon as I’m packed, yeah.”

Bobby gets up and starts shuffling through one of his drawers before he pulls out an old hardback book and a brand new Stanley thermos.  He hands them to Dean unceremoniously.

“Happy birthday, sorry they ain’t wrapped.”

Dean turns the book over, The Haunting of Hill House.  The cover shows green and blue leaves on a black background, and the spine is worn and cracked.  Dean wonders how old it is.

“Thanks, Bobby,” he says, genuinely touched.  It’s two weeks before his birthday, and Bobby had had these just sitting in his drawer waiting for it.

Bobby nods and gestures for the thermos, “I’ll put on a pot of coffee for you, y’oughta stop drinking that gas station shit.”  He hands it to him and Bobby moves past him toward the kitchen.

Dean makes his way up to his room - the room he’d been staying in that he’d started thinking of as his, at least.  His few books were stacked neatly on the nightstand, largest to smallest.  His clothes were tucked away in the small dresser, atop which his sketchbook and pencils sat.  His new coat and hat hung on the back of the door.  Dean fished his duffel bag out from underneath the bed and he settled back into the familiar feeling of being swept away by the current of his life as he packed it into this one small, faded space for the thousandth time.

Bobby sends him off with a thermos full of hot coffee, a few new tapes he’d pulled out, and a hug.

“Call if you get into trouble,” Bobby says, looking him in the eye, “And call if you don’t.”

Dean smiles, “Promise.”

The sun is setting as he pulls out of the salvage yard, the dust of the gravel road kicked up behind him obscuring the house in the rearview.  Dean pops in the Fleetwood Mac album he’d been given and the sky melts into gold.

[s1ater]

hey queen i’m gonna ask politely for a part two of “high school rivals” i just need it in my life that was one of the best hawk fics i’ve read so mrs gorl do me a solid and write a part two! i will forever be in your debt!!!! anyways love you and all the stuff you’ve written!❤️❤️

highschool rivals, part two. eli moskowitz x reader

summary 📣: in which reader believes hawk is fucking with her when saying he does karate, but he won’t prove otherwise, no matter how much she begs.

warnings 🚫: swearing, drinking , also reader and miguel are only friends (i swear it’s not flirting), uhh

slater’s note 🗯: yuh, finally updated, sorry it took so long i’ve literally had no MOTIVATION but hey(love you bae thank you for giving me motivation to update)

part one, part two

the weekend reached faster than you thought it would, giving you no time to think out a plan on how to set hawk off.

maybe you should’ve just gotten over it, but the urge to egg him on, to watch him snap kept a provoking feeling in the inside of your stomach to keep planning.

you didn’t understand why, but something about hawk just fascinated you, made you obsessed with thoughts of him and what he could do to you.

and maybe the thought setting him off into a rage set you off into excitement of what he would do to you.

pinning you down, overpowering your strength just so he could win, anything and everything to show the dominance he had over you.

oh it was wrong, but so so fun to think about.

saturday morning hit you hard from a rough hangover resonating from the night before with mia and harper, a lot of drinking taking place due to it being harper’s birthday and all she wanted to do was watch old movies and drink till she blacked out.

and oh boy did she really black out.

and so did mia, leaving you up and alone with edward scissor hands playing in the background as your newly drunken mind searched through your phone for something entertaining.

someone entertaining.

your first choice, miguel, him being the first one to pop up on your recently snapped on snap chat.

y/n: i’m bored, come hang out w me

miguel: u drinking yet?

y/n: ye

miguel: i’d come but i’m w people

y/n: uh fuk yow

miguel: aren’t we hanging out tomorrow anyways

y/n: yeh but everyone’s aslep now

miguel: oh facts

eli wants to talk to you

your drunken self had rolled your eyes, sliding out of the chat and into hawk’s snap user who was already typing.

hawk: can i come over?

y/n: no

hawk: awh, why not princess

y/n: shut up

people who lie about being in karate don’t get to come to drinking parties

hawk: oh?

y/n: yeah now leve me alone

...

hawk: miss me yet?

it was like he knew how to play the game perfectly, a game that wasn’t even really a game. just teasing being held between two hormonal teens who made out a couple of times.

he knew exactly how to get into your mind which is why it didn’t take long before he had convinced you to allow him to sneak over to harper’s house, wearing a black hoodie that was draped over his head with miguel following right behind with glasses you had never seen on him before.

“you said you were with people,” you had narrowed your brows, looking over hawk’s shoulder at miguel who was still outside due to you blocking the way in through the sliding door.

his eyes connected to yours after slowly analyzing his surroundings as if something would pop out of the dark at any moment.

“yeah,” he jerked his head a bit, “i’m with lover boy here who convinced me to drive him five miles to a drunk birthday party at two in the morning.”

you studied miguel a bit more better, realizing he had slightly smears of acne cream on his cheeks and forehead, pulling together the glasses and pajama pants look. he seemed annoyed and tired, which made sense since it actually was two in the morning.

“hi,” your eyes drew away from miguel to hawk who smiled smoothly, his red hair peaking out from underneath his hood, dipping down into a form you had never seen it; flat.

“hi,” you replied, slightly shocked before being pulled in closer to him, his cold hands rubbing up and down your waist before peaking underneath your own hoodie.

his cool finger tips pressed into your hipbones, his fingernails slightly curving and breaking into your skin as he tried to get an even tighter hold on you. the pads of his thumbs rubbed up and down against the dips of your stomach as he continued to stare straight into your eyes, calmly.

“so, can we get this train moving or are we gonna stand in the doorway for the rest of the night?”

you couldn’t recall if you had gone anywhere farther than rubbing skin against skin with the boy or his lips pressing against your forehead biding you sweet dreams as he left before the rest of the morning could catch him. the alcohol eating away at all memories and events that had happened between two and five.

y/n: hey, can i head over?

miguel: yeah, eli should be there to let you in

the weekend had entailed a lot of hanging out, saturday implying drinking and just general talking in miguel’s apartment with robby, hawk, harper, and mia.

you weren’t exactly sure if it was a good idea to be drinking day after day but it was your teenage years, whats the worst that could happen?

“you’re early.”

you frowned watching the door open to only see hawk, his expression dead, almost like he was annoyed but he still let you in, leaving the apartment door wide open.

“where’s miguel?” you asked, stepping into the cool apartment from the roasting air, a feeling of relief settling on your skin as you were no longer cooking into a chicken in the hot sun.

“what do you mean?”

“well this is his apartment... right?” you looked around analyzing the small space. it was neat but there was some kind of atmosphere filling the air making the whole area dark.

you sat on the couch watching eli as he seemed to be rummaging around the kitchen, seemingly ignoring you by not answering your question.

“what’re you doing?”

“nothing.”

“wanna spar?”

he looks up, his eyes meeting dead in yours, “shut up.”

“okay...”

the apartment soon seems to fill with a silence quickly and rather awkwardly as you sat there, patting your lap with your hands, switching between each thigh as your mind raced.

do something.

but you didn’t think it was a good idea to do something, it had only been a minute into your arrival and he already seemed snappy.

it was then did you really wish you could remember everything that had happened the night before and as to why it was so suddenly awkward.

it didn’t make sense, he would always find something to talk about, that was one of the first things you had picked up on about him.

“you mad at me?”

“no,” he said it slowly, glancing over to you as you were already looking at him, how shifting your position on the couch.

“why’re you being weird.”

he laughed.

and then... ignored your question.

“what happened last night?”

he looked up from the counter again, you had noticed he was writing something down, making you guess he was doing his homework or something.

he also seemed annoyed, looking over once again to your doubtful state.

“you were drunk.”

“yeah, the killer headache i had this morning told me.”

“yeah...”

“why’re you being to fucking weird?”

“i’m not, jesus,” he snapped at you, his face screwing up with annoyance as well as slight confusion as to wondering why you were being so anxious.

“you seem mad, man.”

“well maybe if you shut-“

“i got the alc!” the sudden noise of the apartment door opened caused eli to cut himself off, looking over to the white chipped door open, revealing miguel and robby.

you clenched your jaw, looking away from the two boys and to the floor, thinking about the sentence hawk was about to spat in front of your face before interrupted.

shut up.

“you two good?”

masterlist

taglist 🗞:

join my taglist for good luck

@bigbilliamdenbro @axastasiasstuff @spiderman-berries @alexmercer-reginaldpeters @teti-menchon0604 @lydiaamphlett @notyourfuckingbusinesss @estupidteen @torynicholsgf @nessa1107 @carpioassists @vhscherry @simplytpwk @sinicalh4wk @amongtheweepingwillows @write-from-the-heart

[janeyseymour]

I saw the second preview of six and here are my thoughts (along with a few fun stories at the end):

My heart literally fell out of my ass when the queens started walking out They changed a few small little things here and there and it was perfect If six doesn’t win best lighting at the Tony’s I will sue Ex-wives was WOW I literally could not stop smiling Some of the poses were different 

ADRIANNA FREAKING NAILED NO WAY

I am convinced she just is beyonce always

She’s just fantastic in that role and that’s what I have to say about that

Ig abby danced a little too hard during no way because she kept messing with her wig after

Actually she lowkey played with it throughout the whole show and it was adorbs

Britt was helping her fix it and like pointing out where it was a little cray (also abby’s wig looks so good omf)

ANDREA IS- WOAH DURING DLYH

Her delivery throughout the whole show was a bit more mature, but it was still so babey I love her

(On a side note someone today told me I look like Andrea, which is very kind but so untrue because I literally look like a broken thumb and she is gorgeous)

Her “IM NOT SORRY” was amAZING

She like low-key cut made the whole head joke short and im kinda sad ab it, but it was still fantastique

Through the “Wearing Yellow To A Funeral Bit” abby looked confused through the entire thing and I was cracking up

HEART OF STONE HOLY SHIT

She was INCREDIBLE and her dress was so pretty and sparkly and I just wow 

Shes just so pretty in general like ma’am how do you do that please drop the skin care routine 

The emotion that was conveyed was enough to make me tear up BUT I DID NOT CRY AND I AM VERY PROUD OF THAT 

she did the “you lift me high” line and kinda went into this airy place in her voice and it was angelic and heavenly and all the good things

HER RIFFS WERE JUST DFJDHJLFH

She was just fantastic and thats all I have to say 

Thats a lie I have so many things to say about that woman but the time will come

HOH was a whole acid trip there was a point during this song where I literally just took it all in and then thought “Janey, you really spent your hard earned money to go on an acid trip for a solid few minutes good job”

Their dancing is hilarious and thats that

ABBY SAYING “BUT WE CANNOT GUARANTEE THAT YOU’LL STILL WALK AT FORTY” I had to stifle a laugh because my queen is indeed 40

THE GERMAN ACCENTS HAD ME QUAKING

Brittney Mack is… all bad bitch energy and I was living for it

She is a queen

When she did the “my horses can trot up to twelve miles an hour”- in the boot (not that I watch those…) abby is always making a 😳😶😲 kind of face and this time she just couldn’t stop smiling and it made me laugh

WOOF

Her reveal was SO GOOD she literally just started checking out her nails while everyone just applauded… AS THEY SHOULD

When britt told the person to get up, this person full on WENT and britt was like shook it was hysterical

THE INTERLUDE BETWEEN GET DOWN AND THEN KAT’S ROAST WAS ICONIQUE

i dont think it was here but I cant remember where it was but BRITT WAS PLAYING WITH ABBY’S WIG AND IT WAS REALLY CUTE SHE WAS LIKE PLAYING WITH THE ENDS OF IT AND AWH

justice for the beheaded cousins 

BOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOO BABY MARY HAD THE CHICKEN POX AND YOU DIDN’T GET TO HOLD HER HAND… YOU KNOW ITS FUNNY BECAUSE WHEN I WANTED TO HOLD MY NEWBORN SON…. IIIIII DIIIIIIEDD. Abby lowkey went feral and I loved every second of it and then her pose after got so many laughs it was truly amazing

THE K HOWARD ROAST WAS JUST SO GOOD IT WAS SO GOOD

Aywd destroyed me

I also teared up here but I did not let those babies fall because I was not about to ruin my look

justice for my pink queen

Her delivery is insane and honestly its gotten better and I didn’t even know that was possible because WOW SHE WAS ALREADY STUNNING BUT DAMN MY HEART GOT RIPPED OUT OF MY CHEST

The whole “Catherine not singing” bit was fantastic

Abby looked so confused the entire time 

Andrea’s “hahaha what” was perfecto 

when Anna said “should we really be doing this” someone in the audience went “yes” very loudly and made the queens break for a solid second abby almost forgot to say her line and you could barely hear it because the audience was laughing at the rando 

Anna acknowledged it and just went “I know” before turning to the queens and saying “I know” it was hysterical 

“I’m Catherine parr, I draw the line in arbitrary places bLaH bLaH bLaH”

THE CLAPPING- BRITT GOT IN HER FACE AND JUST *CLAP. CLAP. CLAP.”  It was the funniest thing oh my gosh

“Are you sure Catherine? I-we don’t mind if you wanna sit this one out… I mean you must be exhausted from all those backing vocals”

IDNYL WAS INSANE AND ANNA UZELE IS WICKED TALENTED LIKE DANG

I dont know if this was intentional or not but when they all start to understand the purpose of parr’s thing- abby is the last to stand up and in my head im like “no yeah that makes sense because shes ���the one he truly loved” and shes still trying to get to a point where shes realizing he wasn’t all that great and I dont know I just really like that minor detail

The whole “remember that I was a writer…” part got loud cheers, especially from abby it was very cute

She did a new riff on the “we all disappear” line and WOW my eyes went so wide it was so good I was genuinely shook

the “i dont get it” was sooo good

“My sixth finger” was said so casually and so determinedly that it was a whole new joke and I loved it

“Everyone notices Jane cant dance” -abby just looking so sad

“Yeeeaaaahhhhh. I read!” Was so cute and she sounded so proud of herself it was adorbs

The way they just stood there awkwardly was amazing and got so many laughs it was so good

When sam said the line about competing, abby really almost cut Anna’s line out but she caught herself and it was funny I dont know if anyone else noticed it, but I did and it was glorious

REMIX

“Rise abo-o-o-o-ove” WAS BEAUTIFUL THEY WERE IN SUCH GOOD HARMONY

AGAIN, ANNA’S RIFFS HOW DOES THAT WOMAN DO THAT AT THE END OF THE SHOW LIKE SHIT

After it was over, of course it got long applause and the entire time abby was doing her like “sparkle hands” but also awkwardly moving her arm kinda like a noodle and then going back to sparkle hands and it gave me a good chuckle

Six

The slow acoustic part was so soft I died

The harmonies was delicious

The audience was so hype

Megasix

Super hype

Amazing

Fantastic

All the good things ever

Basically it was just adorable and amazing and absolutely stunning

The new costumes are gorgeous and the lighting is wild if they don’t win best lighting for Tony awards I will full on riot

Aragon and Boleyn interacted a lot and so did Seymour and Cleves and it was very very sweet

Abby interacted with the band a lot to the point where she almost missed a cue and it was very endearing

AND THEN THEY DID THE CURTAIN UP THING AND FIRST OF ALL WOW THEY ARE ALL SO CUTE AND IT WAS SO SWEET SEEING THE WAY THEY ALL WATCHED EACH OTHER WHILE THEY WERE SINGING AND I JUST JDKFDJLA

abby’s hair is SO LONG but I am here for it

So I was looking for my friend when I hear “Make some room, make a path!” From a security guard, and the queens legit walked RIGHT PAST ME

I wanted to go to the theatre anyway to take pictures, but when I saw them, I did follow them back to the theatre because wow I wanted to bask in their glory I didnt even want to talk to them I just wanted to be in their presence

So im like, walking behind them when this happens:

I guess abby saw someone she knew because I heard this “abby!” And then she was like “OH MY GOD” and like RAN to hug them and i legit almost walked right into her/got stepped on but i freaking stopped like a noob i should’ve just let her run me over but I did not I just stopped in my tracks and let out a soft “aH” and then went around her

And then I got to meet a friend and apparently toby heard us squealing and watched us hug for a solid however long so that was awkward

And Julia schade was like talking to him and stared at us for a good amount of time

And then I was walking away and passed Julia again and she kept looking at me, but she was talking to someone else and I think she thought I was going to stay to talk to her (and I would have loved to) but I didnt I just gave her a smile, a nod, and a little wave because I can not do confrontation like if I could not confront abby ma’am I cannot confront u either I am SHY

And that is a very detailed run down of my time in nyc at the brooks

[moonlit-imagines]

Headcanons for Friends to Lovers with Rodrick Heffley

Rodrick Heffley x reader

warnings: mentions of a bad home life

a/n: YALL I FUVKING DID IT AND IM TERRIFIED OF THE REPERCUSSIONS

prompt: y/n and rodrick have been friends for a long time, so long boundaries seem to be blurred

you’ve actually known rodrick since elementary school

it all started when he asked you to join his band

“i can play drums, you can play the tambourine because that’s the only other instrument i have! it’ll be wicked!”

your band lasted a week and only had one gig, it was for rodrick’s parents

who LOVED you by the way

they somehow permitted you to sleepover almost every other day, you practically lived at their house

FOR YEARS you did this

terrorizing lil greg

“what’s he gonna do, pee his diaper?”

“rodrick!!!”

always trick or treating together, exchanging candy when you got back go his house (or occasionally yours)

you guys didnt like hanging at your house, your parents were kind of....a lot to handle

starting middle school together, wreaking havoc on all the teachers

rodrick did it to impress you, according to mr. and mrs. heffley

but he’d give you a stupid little smirk from across the classroom after he got scolded so you believed them

whenever anyone gave you shit at school, rodrick wouldn’t hesitate to step in and show them who’s boss

“rodrick, you’re gonna get detention again!”

“yeah, well, i’m not gonna let them be mean to you”

you went to his house after school most days, sometimes you’d get there first while he was in detention

mrs. heffley had after school snacks

“y/n, why don’t you play some video games with greg while you wait for rodrick to get home?”

playing wii sports with greg, who cried when you won

you also had time to do homework while you waited, rodrick usually copied afterwards

when rodrick came home, he’d drag you to the garage to show you his drum skills

he hit himself in the head with his drumstick

“ooh, that’s gonna leave a mark”

next step was high school, which was a weird step up

but you guys had each other

you still spent most nights at the heffley residence, but you had to sleep on the couch instead of on the floor in the attic (aka rodricks lair)

“you two are growing up, so we think it’s best that you don’t sleep in the same room together, right?”

rodrick emptied one of his drawers for you to put your clothes in

but you still end up stealing his clothes half the time

“i wish i could be mad, but you wear all of my clothes better than me”

subconsciously doing couple-y things without realizing it

like rodrick would pull you closer to him when you two were together, put his arm around you, give you his jacket, etc

“are you guys serious? you’ve got to be dating!” -everyone

“rodrick, when are you and y/n going to get together?” -mr. and mrs. heffley

the answer was always the same: “we’re just friendssssss”

watching his band practice and cheering him on no matter what

you’re his guest vocals ☺️

when he got the van, it was a whole new world for you guys

you could go out wherever whenever

(with parent approval usually)

“wanna go ride around for a little while? hit a gas station and get a bunch of candy?”

“do you even have to ask?”

watching scary movies in his room

“platonic” cuddling in his bed

stuffing your face in the crook of his neck during scary scenes

“come on, y/n! it’s not that bad!”

him having to hold onto you for comfort so you’d keep watching with him

sometimes falling asleep together and his mom or dad coming to check on you later

“alright, time for bed! y/n, you get your usual couch...”

laughing your ass off at rodrick when he messes with greg

manny loves you, sometimes rodrick is jealous of the attention you give to his baby brother instead of him

rodrick scooping you up in his arms when you least expect it, never fails to make you scream

“hey there, hot stuff”

“you’re impossible!”

roller skating together, he held your hand the whole time bc he was worried you’d fall

his friends ENDLESSLY taunt him over your relationship

when he makes plans with others, he always says “let me ask y/n first” which just SENDS his friends oh my god

“dude, that’s your s/o!”

“no, they’re not! shut up!”

hating being apart a lot its so stressful

sometimes you’d have a pretty hard time at home and show up to his house at odd hours, but you were always welcome

you have your own key

“hey, what’s wrong?”

“my parents...they’re just the worst”

rodrick knows its bad when you start crying

he took you up to his room and played some music (quietly as not to wake the house)

you laid on top of him while he rubbed your back and told you that he was there for you

dozing off on him, as per usual

dude, the amount of pictures you have? astronomical

you playing his drums, the two of you going 🤘, an actual nice picture of you guys, him carrying you on his back, kiddos on your first day of school by year, you kissing his cheek “platonically”

comforting him when he was having his own hard times, whether it be an argument with his parents/greg, difficulties with musical inspiration, or anything else

“come here, you need a hug”

“i need several”

“you’ll get ‘em”

talent show! talent show! talent show!

you completely cussed out the rest of his band before they went on bc they had the audacity to replace him

but greg managed to save the day

“greg, my dude, give me a high five, that was awesome”

he wasn’t actually half bad but like, his mom kinda stole the show

more joyrides in the van

absolutely BLASTING the music in there while you and rodrick sat on the floor in the back and ate the taco bell you’d just picked up

“dude, you gotta try my potato griller, it’s a godsend”

“okay, but try this slushie, its so good. i mean, not as good as a 7-eleven slushie, but it’s up there”

finishing your food and laying in the van for another hour bc you just loved each other’s company

but after sitting together alone for so long, you felt like there was something left to do, what was it?

you and rodrick were moving around a bunch and ended up next to each other sitting against the wall of the van

you looked over at each other and hesitated before leaning in to kiss

and you guys kissed for a while

okay, so, you made out on the floor of his van with led zeppelin playing in the background

✨magical✨

it wasn’t awkward or anything, just long overdue

okay it was a little awkward actually

“well, that was” *clears throat* “that was cool or whatever”

“yeah...wanna do it again?”

“oh, for sure”

not like it was a surprise to anyone when you announced you were FINALLY dating

“wait, you guys just started dating? i thought you’d been together for like, at least 5 years” -mr. heffley

“this is great! obviously, we’ll need to set up some boundaries so that everyone is comfortable and safe, but yay for young love!” -mrs. heffley

“gross” -greg

mrs. heffley wrote a column in the newspaper about you titled “my teenage son’s fantastic significant other”

not much changed after you and rodrick got together, just kissing, “i love you’s” and more teasing from friends and school faculty

“we were all rooting for you two, actually!” -the teachers

summer vacation with him

it was always SWEET

going to the pool together, he’d usually lay out on the chairs with you but you were able to drag him into the pool a few times

“come onnnn, it’ll be funnnn”

“you’re lucky you’re cute”

hugs from behind!!! kisses on the top of ur head!!!!

PROM AH HAH HAH

seeing rodrick in a tux was too funny for you, you almost couldn’t stop laughing (especially at the eyeliner he insisted on wearing)

but he just couldn’t stop staring at you

“rodrick!”

“what?! you’re stunning!”

honestly, prom wasn’t all it was cracked up to be

you danced like maniacs for a few songs and ended up ditching early on

but you did end up renting a bunch of movies and getting tonssss of snacks and changing into pajamas as soon as you got to his house

im talking popcorn, candy bars, ice cream, cans of pop, chips, chicken nuggets and so on

and also passing out on each other

“i think i love you a little more, i didn’t know that was possible”

“i have that effect on people”

he makes u breakfast before his mom gets the chance though

“pancakes? for me?”

“i put chocolate chips in them too, you’re gonna love them”

(they were a lil bit burned, still good tho)

you guys really did just spot on get each other

okay but i know you also roast each other sometimes so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

relationship goals, honestly

fresh outta ideas 🤠 goodnight

[zelk0va]

Akuneko (AKNK) Event Story, "White Worship", Chapter 2: Desert of Stars

-Southern Land, Desert of Stars-

-Some days later-

We were walking through the desert.

(step, step)

Nac: Hah...hah...hah...It's scorching... Nac: I feel like roast chicken being cooked inside an oven... Lamli: Yeah, we really don't need to hear that metaphor right now... Lamli: It'll just make us feel hotter... Lamli: Also, Nac, you sure have been pretty chatty! Lamli: Could you please quiet down a little?! Nac: I-I beg your pardon? I am always quiet! Nac: The loudmouthed one is normally you, Lamli, is it not? Lucas: Come, you two. You'll both collapse if you waste your energy bickering like this. Lucas: Master, are you doing alright?

>Y-Yeah... >More or less...

Lucas: Don't strain yourself. Be sure you're staying hydrated.

>(How did we end up like this...)

Nac: Lamli... Lamli: Ugh, what is it? Don't talk to me, you're so annoying... Nac: Hmph! It's all your fault we've ended up like this! Nac: It was you who undid the rope that was linking the camels together! Nac: The camels all ran away! Lamli: U-Uh...uhm... Lamli: B-But, I apologised for all that already, didn't I? Nac: A mere apology won't get us out of this situation! Lamli: I just wanted the camels to roam free for a bit while we rested! Lamli: Don't you feel for bad for them, being tied down the whole time? Was I wrong for thinking that? Nac: Did it not occur to you that they might run away if you undid their ropes? Lamli: Uh, well, about that... Lamli: I said I didn't know that camels could run that fast... Nac: Lamli, you don't have an ounce of precaution in your body, do you? Lamli: Huh? You don't need to go that far, do you? Muu: Lamli, Nac, stop fighting already, please! Lucas: Hmm, the heat and exhaustion is making them feel irritated... Nac: I am perfectly cool-headed, Lucas. Lamli: I'm the one keeping a cool head here, Sir Lucas! Lucas: W-Well... Lucas: Ah, I-I know♪ Lucas: The sun is about to set, so why don't we set up our tent now?

-Some moments later-

Lucas: The air's gotten a bit chilly, Master. Lucas: Please, use this blanket.

>Thank you for preparing this for me

Lucas: You're very welcome, Master. Anything to make sure you're feeling well. Nac: Hah...Nonetheless, we got lucky with the season. Nac: Depending on the season, the temperature of deserts at night can get as low as zero degrees. Nac: We should be thankful that the temperature at this time of year doesn't get to be very cold.

>If the season had been different, we might have been freezing...

Nac: Master, please accept my humblest apologies. Nac: I will be sure to discipline Lamli when we get back to the mansion...

>I feel kind of bad for Lamli >He meant no harm when he did what he did...

Nac: Master, you truly are a kind-hearted person. Nac: My heart was parched by this desert journey... Nac: But it has been hydrated again by your benevolence...! Nac: Master, you are indeed like a blessed oasis in the middle of the arid desert...!

>An oasis?! >Come again...?

Lamli: Nac...has the fatigue made you all loopy? Nac: Hmm? Did you say something just now, Lamli...? Lamli: I didn't say anything~ Nac: Hehe, Nac is behaving as he always does. I do like this about him. Nac: Thank you, Lucas.

-A few minutes later-

Nac: Alright! This should be enough. Lucas: Oh? Nac, you've started a fire. Nac: That I have! Let's have dinner now, shall we? Nac: I, Nac, have prepared only the best of recipes for you to enjoy, Master.

>You're going to cook, Nac? >Thank you!

Lamli: I hate to admit it, but Nac's cooking is actually pretty good. Nac: Hehe...Well, while it certainly holds no candle to Lono's cooking.... Nac: As long as you follow the right measurements and timing, any dish will turn out decently well. Nac: Now then, with that out of the way, let's get to cooking, posthaste... Nac: Oh, but before that...! Wait just a moment, Master.

.....

(footsteps)

Nac: Thank you for waiting. Lamli: Did you really need to change into chef's clothes? Nac: Getting the mood right is also important to these kinds of things, Lamli. Nac: Now then, to start things off... Nac: First, cut the eggplant, onion, and red peppers that we bought in town during our journey into easy-to-eat sizes...

(chop, chop)

Nac: Alright! They're looking beautiful. Nac: Put the chopped vegetables into a pot... Nac: Oh my! I almost forgot the garlic. Nac: Finely chop a clove of garlic, and put it in the pot with the other vegetables. Nac: Lamli, crush this tomato and put it in the pot when you finish. Lamli: Okay~

>Lamli, you're being pretty obedient

Nac: Haha, that's because this is your dinner, Master. I'm certain he wants you to enjoy a scrumptious meal as well. Nac: It's times like these that Lamli becomes easy to handle. Nac: Now then....Let's add salt, pepper, sugar, vinegar, and olive oil to season. Nac: And finally...we add some bite-sized chicken thighs, that we also bought while we were in town, into the pot. Muu: Chicken! I-It looks so good! Nac: Hehe. I'll also prepare some plain, boiled chicken thighs for you too, Muu. Muu: Thank you very much! Nac: While we wait for the stew to cook, let's cut this baguette into thin slices... Nac: Mix together some finely-chopped olive and some olive oil... Nac: And spread it over the baguette slices. Season with a bit of salt and pepper, and then bake them until they're crispy.

-Afterwards-

Nac: And, voilà.

Nac: Here you are, Master. For dinner, we have caponata and garlic bread. Nac: Please, eat it while it's still hot.

>It...it looks so good... >Thank you for the food

-Some time after that-

The caponata and garlic bread that Nac made were delectable.

After the butlers ate their fill, we enjoyed a relaxing moment together.

Lamli: Hey, Master! Master! Lamli: Let's look at the stars here together! Lamli: The stars in the night sky are super pretty!

>The stars...?

Lamli: Just come with me!

>W-Wait a second...! >Okay, I get it, just wait a bit...!

Lucas: Lamli, don't go too far, alright? Lamli: Yes, sir~!

Afterwards, Lamli took me to a rocky area located a bit of ways away from where the tent was set up.

Lamli: Lay out a blanket for us to sit on... Lamli: Okay! Master, please lie down here!

I lied down on the carpet, as instructed by Lamli.

Lamli lied down next to me straight away. He was looking up at the sky with a boyish twinkle in his eyes.

Lamli: Master, what do you think of the sky? Pretty, isn't it?

>It's so pretty... >I've never seen a starry sky like this...

Lamli: The stars in the desert really are on a whole different level... Lamli: Hehe, that's probably because there isn't anyone living around here. Lamli: This region is famous because there are no lights from the city to block the view of the sky, and you can easily see the beautiful starry sky at night! Lamli: This whole region is actually known as the Desert of Stars!

>That's interesting >You really like stars, Lamli

Lamli: I do! I love stargazing! Lamli: When I look up at the stars, I feel so at ease... Lamli: That's because in my childhood, I always spent the night looking up at the stars! Lamli: Oh, right! Lamli: Let me teach you this game I used to play a lot in the past, Master! Lamli: It's a game where you connect stars and make your own unique constellation. Lamli: Do you wanna play together?

>Sure >Let's do it

Lamli: Aw, yeah! Lamli: Okay, Master. When you find a constellation, tell me! Lamli: Hmm... Lamli: Found one!

>T-That was fast... >You found one already?

Lamli: Look, take a look over there! There's Froggy Minor!

>...Froggy Minor? >Uh, where?

Lamli: C'mon, look! Over there! The star shining brightest is the froggy's eye...

>I-I can't see it...

Lamli: Then, maybe you can tell if I do this...

With that said, Lamli suddenly got very close to me.

He got so close that his shoulder was touching mine.

Lamli: Master, hope you don't mind if I take your hand for a bit.

Lamli took my hand, and pointed to the stars in the sky.

Lamli: This star is the froggy's eye, and then the outline looks like this...

Lamli gleefully explained to me the constellation he found, his eyes almost shining.

He was so engrossed in his explanation that he unconsciously kept getting nearer and nearer to me.

>(H-He's so close...)

Lamli: Hehe... Lamli: Master, your face is all red, you know?

>What?! >I-I guess I'm a bit nervous...

Lamli: Master...you probably think that... Lamli: I'm some little kid who gets too excited easily and just plays around all the time, don't you? Lamli: But, there are times when I get serious, too, you know.

>Why are you acting like this all of a sudden? >Lamli?

Lamli: Master... Nac: Lamli. You are way too close to the Master.

>N-Nac...!

Nac: Get away from them this instant. Lamli: Hmph. Why are you here? Nac: It's almost time for the Master to go to bed. Nac: We have to wake up early tomorrow, after all. Lamli: Aww. And here I was enjoying my time with the Master... Lamli: Geez, Nac, can't you take a hint? Nac: Lamli, did you forget you're still working right now? Remember your duties as a butler... Lamli: Yeah, yeah. I got it, I got it... Lamli: Fine, I'll do it! Nac: Ugh, Lamli, you are unbelievable... Lamli: Alrighty then, Master. Lamli: Let's stargaze together another time, okay!

>Yes >Let's!

* * *

←Chapter 1 Chapter 3→

[rewritingcanon]

TY BAE @ace-aussie-asshole

selina kyle 😭 i was obsessed when i was like… ten years old… i collected her posters, i collected random unconnected comics with her in it only to stare at her panels and barely read them, i went to movie world and bought her merch and only took photos with the lady there that was dressed as catwoman….. i was too young to understand but now it was so obvious

purple bc its the best

idk if this means in a good or bad way. in a good way it would be Let Go by sebastianl in a good way and Manacled if i ever read it (ive only read parts and they were debilitating enough)

genuinely cant cook anything except for a big ass rotisserie chicken with garlic-lemon roast potatoes so we eatin good

idrk but i feel like im obligated to say kangas bc 🇦🇺

maven calore except he is NOTHING without his glaringly obvious issues but hey. thats the whole appeal.

im too irrelevant to be in the burn book im telling u rn the mean girls dont even know my name. if i somehow got in they’d probs say something about me being a teachers pet and a try-hard in school bc i was the only bitch who did her homework for every single class she had

oh erm. zero in the hunger games. forever in fruits basket. so im gonna pick the furuba fandom 👍

nope

considering the popularised version of her is a roman retelling by ovid, and in the original greek myth she was just born a gorgon, no i dont feel sorry for her. im not taking the roman misogynistic bastardised version of her as the real medusa, it pisses me off.

One of Us by New Politics

every song ever

tags: @scorpiusmalfoylovesoscarwilde @standingappa @strawberryscorp @hazey-cosmic-jive no pressure tags!

My own get to know you game:

Who was your first fictional crush?:

What’s the first colour you think of when I tell you to think of a colour?:

Which fanfiction emotionally scarred you and still makes you shudder to this day?:

I’m coming to your house for dinner, non-negotiable, what are you making me?:

Do you prefer lions or kangaroos?:

Which fictional villain do you brush past the glaringly obvious issues for because you really like them?:

What would accompany your picture in the Burn Book in Mean Girls?:

How many days would you last in the universe of your favourite fandom?:

Have you heard of Mischief Theatre?:

Do you feel sorry for Medusa?:

Which song makes you think of your OTP?:

Which song makes you disassociate and daydream the fastest?:

Tags: @weltato, @snarky-wallflower, @feathertru, @barclaysangel, @fanficwriter284, @silvershewolf247, @shadowbrightshine, @luxury-nightmare and anyone else who wants to have a go, feel free!

[hiccanna-tidbits]

okay, okay but hear me out!

Hiccanna, Moanida and Jackunzel (and maybe someone else if u want) going on a holiday trip together (it could be sea or lake or just swimming pool).

And that three couples playing "chicken fight game"~ When u have to sit on partner shoulder or ridding piggy-back and knock down or separate the other couple!

sksksks just imagine the fun and the chaos!! hahaha

Okay SO I recently watched Palm Springs so I’m just imagining The Gang going to like…a fancy pool resort in like Arizona??? SURE LET’S GO WITH THAT

I’m imagining the only resort the gang could afford to stay at is someplace out in the middle of Arizona or something

It takes a LOT of persuading to get Jack to go, because he haaaaates deserts. Rapunzel basically has to beg. Moana finally managed to bribe him with really good homemade ice slushies. (She’s used to making smoothies for Merida, so how hard can slushies be??? Just throw in some ice!)

Rapunzel offers to help Moana with the slushies, since she gave Jack SO many puppy dog eyes to get him to come. Since they’ve got two people working on them, they’re REALLY good slushies. Jack approves.

Anna also tries to convince Elsa to go, but the perpetually-single Elsa is just like “Um, deserts? Sunburns? Being indefinitely stuck with gross couples doing gross couple stuff?!? Yeah no thank you”

Hiccup tries to wake everyone up at like 6 am to go hiking because "that's when the desert iguanas are out guys!!! C'mon, we have to go!!!" Anna is only persuaded to go after Hiccup makes her coffee--she really wants to make her bf happy, but also mornings can suck her dick. Rapunzel is more than happy to go, because she loves mornings anyways!!! And oh my god, IGUANAS!!! Jack, Merida, and Moana are like "oh FUCK no" and put the pillow back over their head, shoo Hiccup away, and go back to sleep.

On their hike, Hiccup just goes "!!!!!!!" about every reptile he sees. Snake, lizard, horny toad, literally anything with scales will send the boy into an excited frenzy. Rapunzel has similar reactions. Anna could not love both of them more.

At one point, they stumble across a gila monster sunbathing, and Rapunzel is overtaken with the unwavering desire to adopt him. She gets Hiccup on board, and he tries to lure the lizard over with a dusty piece of a snake carcass he found (Anna tried to tell him he really shouldn't touch that, but he was not to be swayed and Anna ended up figuring he could just wash his hands really well when they got back). Anna finds herself in the unusual position of having to be the Voice of Reason, having to be like “hey uh I think this might be illegal and stuff??? Also aren't they poisonous???”

(I know what you're thinking. Bold of you to assume Anna knows the difference between poisonous and venomous.)

Rapunzel literally CANNOT stop gushing to Jack about all the wildlife she saw when she gets back! Jackrabbits! Kangaroo rats! Roadrunners! Peccaries! Centipedes! Jack has only mild to moderate interest in desert ecology, but loves hearing his gf gush so he listens attentively anyways. 

Anna and Rapunzel definitely hit up the gift shops in the resort town at some point, and go ABSOLUTELY BATSHIT HOGWILD buying gifts for everyone. They probably max out their credit cards. It's embarrassing, really. But Anna gets Hiccup an absolute shitton of those little wall lizard things and he nearly cries tears of joy when he sees them, so it's all worth it, really.

Moana will not leave the pool like. The entire time. The girl is just obsessed with being in the water, honestly. She gets restless, though, and can't just stand in the pool and vibe--she needs to constantly be moving and swimming around or she'll explode. Merida is more than happy to indulge her by hanging out in the poor with her, but Merida is also constantly challenging her to swim races--a very dumb idea, considering Moana is on the high school swim team and water polo team. Merida, naturally, is an extremely sore loser and is not above excessive pouting, splashing, yelling in angry Scottish, and dunking her girlfriend in revenge. It's at least entertaining for all of their friends to watch.

Jack keeps fucking taking huge buckets of ice from the ice machine and dumping them in the pool. At first he only does this because he keeps griping about the pool not being cold enough (this boy will accept nothing less than sitting in the goddamn arctic ocean), but after her figures out that it pisses off his friends, he takes to pouring said ice directly over their heads. Merida has threatened to murder him several times for this.

Hiccup and Anna's main pool activity is just lazing around on their pool floaties (Anna has a duck one, Hicccup has a dragon one because obviously), sipping cocktails, and just generally vibing. Through some ungodly mixture of pure charisma and a fake ID that Rapunzel helped photoshop, Jack manages to talk his way into getting the whole group access to alcohol. Hiccup is a sangria or Moscow Mule kinda guy while Anna usually gets a Pina Colada or a Sex on the Beach (she's aspec, so she literally will not stop joking about the irony of this). Merida makes a game out of attempting to tip over their floaties and dunk them. Jack, chaos gremlin that he is, puts aside his usual rivalry with Merida to join in. They have a surprisingly strong dunking alliance.

Hiccup and Anna try to form a syndicate of their own, and try to lounge on the same floatie so that they can protect each other while fighting off Jack and Merida together. Unfortunately neither of their floaties were made to hold 2 peoples' weight, so the one they're on ends up tipping over, spilling their cocktails everywhere and dunking them anyways. Jack and Merida consider this a Win By Default.

Moana of course loops everyone into playing water polo at some point. Unfortunately some idiot decided it would be a good idea to let Merida of all people pick the teams, which means of course that they are incredibly rigged. It's Moana, Merida and Anna vs. Jack, Rapunzel, and Hiccup, so basically The Jocks vs. The Nerds (although admittedly Anna is more of a softcore jock--she's nowhere near on Moana or Merida's level, but she's still more naturally athletic than Hiccup, Rapunzel, or Jack). Naturally, Jock Team absolutely whoops Nerd Team's ass. Jack gets salty and demands a rematch. ...Jock Team kicks Nerd Team's ass again.

Throughout all of this, no one thinks to just...rearrange the teams a little. Merida was counting on this. All according to plan.

In the titular chicken game (yes, I remembered, don't worry!), it's Merida on Moana's shoulders (Moana swims and has a lot of upper body strength, what can I say?), Hiccup on Anna's shoulders (I mean...Hiccup's a twig, and Anna HAS to have a fair amount of upper body strength from throwing busts around and punching men off boats and such), and Punz on Jack's shoulders (Jack's pretty lithe and good at keeping his balance while jumping around, so he's their best candidate for not just falling over).

Jack and Rapunzel actually manage to stay in the game longer than anyone expects--their primary strategy is “be good at dodging and staying out of the way while Merida and Hiccup duke it out.” And it works! As limber as Hiccup is, Anna's not nearly as coordinated as Jack and is no match for Moana's sturdy footing. Also, neither Anna nor Hiccup are prepared for how goddamn ruthless and determined to win Merida is. Even though they really, really should have been. I mean...have you met Merida???

When it comes down to Merida-Moana and Rapunzel-Jack, Mer feels a little bad for having to go up against Pure Sweet Punzie. Unfortunately, Rapunzel turns out to be a very hardcore fighter when she puts her mind to it, and Merida is much more evenly matched than she initially thought and realizes she must use her Full Power. It definitely helps her snap out of Going Soft when Jack starts brutally roasting Merida in particular (as per usual). Merida gets a rage-fueled Second Wave, and finally manages to knock Rapunzel over in one foul swoop. Merida and Moana are victorious!

Moana and Merida basically always shower together after a day at the pool. They claim it's because they both know how to handle curly hair in chlorine, and just like to wash each other's hair, but the rest of the gang is pretty sure that's not all that's going on in there.

One day, Anna hits up the resort town alone to buy some kind of secret gifts for her friends with what little money she has left (this girl seriously has no chill when it comes to buying presents).  She goes past this huge, fancy ice cream shop and she's like “!!!! OMG!!! I'm gonna surprise all my buddies with pints of their faves!!!” She just gets super hyped and buys everyone ice cream, getting so caught up in the thrill of it that she forgets that she'll have to like. Drive all this back all the way back to the resort in the rental car. In like. You know. 110+ degree weather.

By the time she gets back to the resort, the ice cream is, of course, goop. Poor Anna, feeling incredibly dumb and like an utter failure of a friend, just kind of bursts into tears. Like damn. This is too much. She was gonna make all her pals so happy, and all for naught! Jack just kinda shrugs and throws all the melted ice cream cartons in the freezer anyways. Once they're (partially) re-frozen, Rapunzel and Moana make slushies with them. They actually come out pretty decent. Anna is substantially cheered up.

Moana prepares some tropical fruit platters for everyone to snack on. Rapunzel tries to “improve” them by adding chocolate sauce and nutella to half of them. Sometimes it works (I mean...bananas and strawberries with chocolate and/or nutella is pretty solid). Other times it just tastes...very weird. Merida gest frustrated and yells at Rapunzel for “ruining all of her girlfriend's good mangoes.”

Jack just thinks this whole thing is so funny, and decides to swap the chocolate sauce with barbecue sauce to cause further chaos. Absolute mayhem ensures. Everyone has a bad time. Except for Anna, who apparently is just a freak who enjoys eating pineapple slices dipped in barbecue sauce.

At some point, Merida gets really drunk on appletinis or some shit and signs the entire group up for a local archery competition. Much to everyone's chagrin, it's no refunds. Naturally, basically everyone sans Merida does terrible. Rapunzel and Hiccup very nearly shoot themselves, while Jack and Anna come very close to  accidentally shooting a group of referees (although Jack might have done this on purpose). Moana gets the farthest, if only because Merida's taught her how to shoot a bow at some point. Merida actually ends up winning--although unfortunately, the prize is $20 and a very cheap plastic trophy (which Merida STILL manages to find a way to break before the trip is even over).

The rest of the group is much more amicable to the concept of going on hikes when said hikes are in the evening. Hiccup and Rapunzel are still excitedly chattering about the local ecosystems the entire time, and Jack and Anna are just kind of looking at their nerdy SOs like “<3 <3 <3″ Moana and Merida, meanwhile, are just kinda vibing in the back, passively listening in and watching the desert sunset.

Rapunzel manages to capture Mer and Mo's interest and gets them to participate more with geology, of all things. Merida just thinks rocks are cool (especially when they can be thrown at people bothering her!), while Moana likes learning about the physical history of places--how water can carve out landscapes, and all that. Hiccup and Jack just kind of exchange a look like “I had no idea that they were into rocks, but...the more you know, I guess???”

Jack makes fun of every reptile they see, mainly to piss Hiccup off. Unfortunately it has the opposite effect, and Hiccup can't help but be entertained--mainly because Jack's insults are so weirdly specific and over-the-top that they loop around to being hilarious. Seriously, he keeps saying shit like “Those are the lamest scales I've ever seen. Absolutely drab, and not nearly shiny enough to prove that nature is beautiful. 0/10.” and “Ohhhh, this fucking rattlesnake think's he's so scary, with his dumb percussion instrument tail!!! I could be more intimidating with a mean look and a large pair of maracas!”

At some point, a bunch of tourists riding donkeys pass them. Anna, Rapunzel, and Merida just absolutely lose their shit fangirling over how cute the donkeys are, thus exposing all three of them as the unabashed Horse Girls they are. Hiccup, Jack, and Moana find this extremely amusing, and definitely aren't above teasing their girlfriends about it. Hiccup asks if next time they take a couples' vacation, the Horse Gang (as Moana insists on nicknaming them) would like to go to a ranch instead.

Anna gets like. Obsessed with palm trees. Like they're just so pretty and exotic and tropical!!! OMG!!! And they definitely don't have them wherever the gang is from in this AU. (Also if griping about Elsa not having "tropical powers" is anything to go by, she DOES canonically like the tropics!) She has to take a picture of like...every palm tree on her phone. And considering the gang is in Arizona, that means Anna is stopping to take a picture like...every 2 minutes. Rapunzel catches onto the fact that Anna likes them, and paints her a picture with some when Punz has the time. Anna definitely cries when she sees it. Hiccup can't do nearly that good, but he does buy her some little plastic figurine ones in a gift shop that she can put in her room. Anna also cries about this. She just cries whenever any of her friends indulge her random fixation on palm trees. Surely she doesn't deserve such niceties!!!

Rapunzel is just. In love with the desert landscape tbh. Like the huge funky cacti!!! The shrubs!!! The desert wildflowers!!! The mesas!!! All of it!!! So of course she needs to pull out her easel and paint it. Jack walks by one day and sees her working on it and, partly just to troll her, he's like “put some snow in it!” As he walks away, Rapunzel just stops like “wait...that'd actually be such a great idea for a surrealist-type fantasy piece!!!” After she finishes the main landscape, she adds an overcoat of little puffs of snow on top of everything, and has some clumps falling off of the cacti. When she shows Jack, he just about cries tears of joy, but frantically tries to hide it. She gives the painting to him as a present at the end of the trip. He hangs that shit front-in-center in his room and cherishes it forever and ever.

At some point, Jack gets the ingenious idea that he's going to prank Merida by catching a tarantula and leaving it in her room. It's one of the harmless ones--Jack fact-checks this by offhandedly asking Hiccup and framing it as a casual interest in local etymology. Still, Merida screams far louder than is at all dignified, and also probably loud enough to wake a neighboring country. Rapunzel later has to physically hold Merida back to keep her from absolutely beating Jack into a pulp. Rapunzel also manages to get the World's Largest Sheet of Cardboard and the World's Largest Cup and somehow manages to get the damn thing back outside.