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ervona · 5 months

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20 questions for writers! (fanfic themed)

thank you @wispstalk :) I will tag... @waterdhaviancheesecake @hungerofhadarr @aphoticfairy @biichama @wingedtwilight

answers and question list under the cut:

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

none! I did repost some of them on squidgeworld

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

not applicable. my tesfest collection clocks in at 10.5k

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Elder Scrolls and Forgotten Realms right now...

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

again not applicable. the ones on tumblr get around the same amount of notes so I can't really rank the handful of them imo

5. Do you respond to comments?

I read and cherish all the tags I've gotten, I respond to comments if I post the work in a server of course and if you message me about it... I'm so happy to talk about writing any time, both mine and your own

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

quite a few but most are unpublished yet so I'll say "thrice-sealed" ends in a pretty pointless and unfulfilled way. most things for this family do, it's really about which moment you end up focusing on

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I think I have more of these published... "sever seas" is a hit to me, really encapsulates the emotion I'm chasing when writing a happy ending, which is that it's never too late and it'll all be ok eventually

8. Do you get hate on fics?

nope! I don't think anyone likes hate but I'd love more criticism as uniform positivity is kind of dull. I always love to hear what people liked about my work but I'd also love to hear what they didn't like...

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

mixed impressions on this one, I've written sex scenes, but I've also been told it's not quite smut... I don't like IKEA erotica but I like sex scenes for character study so if you get anything from me it'll be it

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

not that I recall, I haven't really had ideas for crossovers

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I'd be genuinely surprised

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

nope but feel free to!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic?

no but I'm up for it, and imo I'm good at collaborative work

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

I don't have one, if I'm attached to a particular dynamic it's for a limited period of time that they inspire me... but I still care them

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

HEADSTONES LMAO... I have a lot of other unfinished ideas but this is one I plotted out, not even that long or complicated and then drove right off the bridge. I want to return to it when I have more inspiration and feel more assured in my Reithwin lore because it's a big old mess

16. What are your writing strengths?

I'm taking from comments I've gotten because I can't self-analyze that well: the cadence of it owed in part to being esl, capturing an atmosphere, the psychological profile of characters and dialogue! personally I think I'm good at this too but there's room to improve

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

long form plotting! I couldn't write a novel, and when I write short stories I struggle to not just make it a vibes based thriller. in fanfic this manifests as characters just hanging out. pondering their life. there are many story ideas in my mind with some definite plot but putting it all together is quite a task. I'll just keep on trying to do it!

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I'm already writing in another language, but I'd only want to try a language I'm as familiar with or a conlang where I can make it up unless I have someone to consult about the language being right

19. First fandom you wrote for?

genuinely not sure. maybe Neopets, stories about my pets, which would've been the first and only fanfic I had published in a while...

20. Favorite fic you've written?

not any of my published ones unfortunately, but fortunately I have many contenders. may you all get to read them at some point... so right now one I'm very endeared towards is the one where a young Vedam and Orvas Dren are traveling with their mother, though I've changed their timeline up so much I'm not sure if their ages work... okay from my published ones I'll say the Mavus one is dear to me :)

...

here's a list of the questions:

How many works do you have on AO3?

What's your total AO3 word count?

What fandoms do you write for?

What are your top five fics by kudos?

Do you respond to comments?

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Do you get hate on fics?

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Have you ever co-written a fic?

What's your all-time favorite ship?

What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

What are your writing strengths?

What are your writing weaknesses?

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

First fandom you wrote for?

Favorite fic you've written?

#answered

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meanlesbean · 1 year

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For the WIP game 3, 18 and 11

For Cadence chapter 2:

3. Who's your favorite character for this chapter/fic?

So even though this fic is Twilight POV, and therefore very Twilight-centric, I am 100% writing this because I wanted more Time (including younger Time) content, and I have 20+ years of brainrot about Ocarina of Time to get outta me. So uhh my favorite LU boy is Time. by a longshot (lol). And that holds true for this fic. But the plot I came up with does not work at all with Time as the POV character, so it turned into a Twilight & Time relationship fic as well.

When it comes to the fic, it feels unfair to choose between Mask and Time, but I'll choose Mask because he is a delight to write. For this chapter in particular, I'll pick Hyrule, because he ended up with a lot of good dialogue.

11. What scene are you most hyped for this chapter/fic?

Previously answered, but I'll give you another. In the current outline for chapter 4 (estimate, don't hold me to this, chapter 3's outline is already so incredibly long) we have a Plot Critical Fishing Trip that I'm excited to write.

18. Share the scene you just wrote, written from another character’s POV.

Snippet of Mask's POV at the beginning of the Grown-Up Talk scene. Disclaimer that Mask should not be taken as a super reliable source for so many reasons, one being that he is 11. This also has zero editing so don't judge it too harshly. This now has some editing but nowhere near what I do for posted chapters. Anyway, bone apple teeth:

The one with the pink hair pulls the prissy guy away. “Finally,” Link mutters to Epona, and he gets about five full seconds to himself before there's another one taking prissy guy’s place.

It’s the skinny kid, the only one with enough magic to cause a problem besides the wolf and him—the other one. Skinny kid's magic tastes like the waters from a fairy fountain. It’s rolling off of him in waves even though the healing session’s stopped, the tips of his fingers still glowing a faint green. He’s young, but he should have better control by now.

Link unwinds another braid from Epona’s mane. Her coat and hooves look nice enough, but he’s going to have words with the wolf about mane lengths and stupid hairstyles. His fingers catch on another tangle. Maybe he should just cut her mane himself.

The kid is talking at him now, but Link looks past him to the clearing’s edge where the wolf is arguing with pinky and prissy. It’s problem number two on his list, and not something he can deal with until he has a chance to talk with the other guy.

Problem number one is laying across the lap of the guy with the white cape. There’s no mistaking the sword even in its sheath. The guy is running his fingers over its etchings in a circular rhythm, back and forth, back and forth. Stupid, holding that sword like it’s some kind of security blanket.

Unlike you?

Stupid, shut up.

Something sharp flicks his forehead and drops in his lap. A still-green acorn sits in the curve of his tunic. He glares up at the skinny kid, gets another mouthful of fairy water, and flings the acorn back at his stupid face.

The kid dodges, but Link still gets him in the shoulder. Should’ve thrown it harder.

“Fuck off,” he says.

Skinny kid smirks. “Managed to get your attention, didn’t I?”

“Managed to piss me off is what you did.” He sinks his fingers in the soil, clenches his teeth so he won’t start pulling up clumps of dirt and pelting him with it.

“The rancher explained who we are, right?” the skinny kid asks.

“Yeah,” Link says. The dirt digs under his nails. He can feel the eyes of the other one on him. He wants a rock in his fist to throw, he wants to stop choking on fairy water, he wants to stick his hands in the ground and turn this whole clearing into an abyss, he—

He bites at the inside of his cheek until he tastes blood.

Idiots, every single one of them.

And you?

Especially me, shut up.

The skinny kid is still talking. “You don’t want to learn about any of the other heroes?”

Link can’t help but make a face. “No?”

#thank you for the asks I am sending you flowers and chocolates #for Mask pov: yes the 'him' is Time and yes Mask is mentally throwing daggers at his face #kane25 #cadence fic #lu fic #fic asks

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monstersinthecosmos · 10 months

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for the fic asks bc you deserve to be dicking around all day 😭

💘 Is there any posted fic you want to rework/re-edit/ re-write?

🍉 in what ways has writing helped you process trauma and/or navigate through your own life?

🎈describe your style as a writer; is it fixed? does it change?

(writing asks!)

💘 Is there any posted fic you want to rework/re-edit/ re-write?

bruh all of them lol. Every fic I've posted before 2022 makes me feel so ashamed and every day that goes by where I haven't made time to rewrite them makes me feel fucking nauseous lol

🍉 in what ways has writing helped you process trauma and/or navigate through your own life?

OKAY SO LIKE not to make everything about Anne Rice except that she like influenced me/corrupted me at a young age but I remember one time she phrase IWTV as a "conversation about grief" and it really made me think differently about like using stories to HAVE CONVERSATIONS with myself? Another author who was huge for me as a teen was Francesca Lia Block and one time in a workshop she suggested to like, identify things you don't like about yourself and turn them into characters?

I don't think I set out to start fics and go "I will process this feeling in myself" on purpose but I think like having control over the entire narrative gives us so many opportunities to just like spill words and feelings and ideas and it's so cathartic.

Something in particular though like all my pre-2020 VC fics I was like channeling a lot of my frustrations with myself into Armand (for example, time blindness!) and I used to just think they were character deficits of mine, but then like during 2020 when I was learning about ADHD/AuDHD it was like eye opening to go back to that and realize it was just like neurodivergent stuff that I was struggling with and I didn't know it. But it was nice to put those struggles into a character and remove them from myself so that I could like be a little more objective and have empathy and be kinder to myself because I was able to be kind to someone else. (Even if that someone was Armand, who is not real. LOL)

🎈describe your style as a writer; is it fixed? does it change?

Ummmmmmm I think it changes occasionally as I try to learn things or curb bad habits? And sometimes I realize I do something too much and I get sick of it and try to evolve? I don't try to sculpt a style on purpose, it kinda just happens as it happens. I do try to like match a character's VOICE for the POV I'm writing, so like that can alter the style here and there. But I know like what works for me and what I like as a reader so I think there's sort of a natural cadence I hear in my mind when I read and write and it might evolve all the time when I read things. Like sometimes I'll read a book and it changes my cadence for a while because it influences me. So I think it does change, but I don't do it on purpose, and I hope there's at least some consistency in my work where you can still tell it's me. :)

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dangerously-human · 10 months

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15, 16, 17?

How do you come up with titles for your fics/chapters? I've been defaulting to song lyrics lately, partly because it's pretty easy to just pull up my playlist for the fandom I'm writing for and scrounge for a good fit, and partly because I've been writing a lot of things inspired by particular songs anyway. Another thing I'll do is pick some keywords related to imagery or themes tackled in a fic and use Related Words until I find a couple that fit together. Best of all is when there's a quick summary statement somewhere in the fic itself that sounds suitably poetic (stuff like Call and Response and An Endless Remaking).

At what point in the process do you come up with titles? If it's a fic strongly inspired by a particular song, the title and the fic idea kind of come to me together, or at least I have a handful of options to choose from. Often title is the last thing to happen aside from the tags, while I'm in the process of posting to AO3. Most often it's sort of in between, when the bulk of the fic is drafted and I've had time to marinade in that headspace for a while, and I start jotting down title thoughts in the notes app or the Scrivener sidebar while I'm editing until I narrow down the options to the right fit.

What’s something you’ve learned about while doing research for a fic? I did quite a bit of research for period accuracy when I was primarily writing for Endeavour. The main thing was making sure I didn't mention things that weren't invented or easily/cheaply accessible yet. I remember researching board game release dates, whiteboards, and car seats and other baby safety items for various stages of the Those Binary Stars series. Oh, and I did a LOT of research on the diagnostic history of ADHD for A Shifting Cadence, which didn't get used on the page per se, but it did shape the timeline for the whole series, because I wanted one of Morse's kids to be diagnosed in late childhood and for Joan and Morse to have a corresponding "now hang on a second" realization about Morse. Eventually I'd love to come back to that, if it fits into another story set in that AU!

#personal #writer probs: fanfic edition

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veebs-hates-video-games · 1 year

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Ok this is mostly going to be rambling about Tears of the Kingdom, but I'll at least briefly mention a couple other things I keep meaning to say something about and not getting around to.

Pixel Puzzle Makeout League was surprisingly good and deserves its own post because it does some unexpected things.

Theatrhythm Final Bar Line is still mixed but overall more good than bad and generally has similar positives and negatives to the previous Theatrhythm games and Melody of Memory (which is better as a game than any of the Theatrhythm games even if it still has some issues too).

The Outer Worlds is...a game. I totally forgot I started it at some point, and it hasn’t made a huge impression on me in the first five hours or however long.

Cadence of Hyrule is great for a while and does a lot of things right, but there’s a kind of frustrating spike in difficulty near the end, and I’m not sure if I’ll bother finishing it.

Xenoblade Chronicles 3: Future Redeemed is already GOTY 2023 for me, even if 99% of other people will say it’s TotK. Some day I’ll get around to that XC3 post...

Anyway, as someone who liked a bunch of things about Breath of the Wild but found enough frustrating about it that it took four attempts at playing the game to make it past a single Divine Beast and then give up forever, Tears of the Kingdom brings almost all the same problems along with it but mitigates them enough that I’ve finished a temple without giving up on the game and stopping playing for several months a single time so far.

The really short version is that I think everything in Steph Sterling’s soon-to-be infamous review is true and accurate, and the main thing I disagree with is that at least based on my enjoyment of actually playing the two games I’d have to give BotW an even lower score. Come at me, haters please don’t actually and go do something more fun like playing the game you like so much because I’m glad you’re enjoying it

Yes I’m 100% one of those people who thinks weapon durability has never been a positive thing in any game I’ve played (with the possible exception of certain Fire Emblem games) and Skyward Sword introducing a stamina meter to Zelda was a mistake. I’m happy for people who think they add something to the game for them, but for me they're actively anti-fun and constantly interrupt me when I’m trying to engage with all the neat systems the game has. Please just incentivize me to try new things by rewarding me positively for doing it (see: XC3 and in particular Future Redeemed) instead of punishing me for not playing the game the way you want me to.

Thankfully new additions like weapon fusion and ascend go a decent way to mitigate the frustration I have from stuff like that. I can skip a lot of the tedious climbing, and between avoiding most combat and gooping items together I’ve never had a shortage of actually decent weapons since like halfway through the tutorial.

Another positive is the ability set this time around. It’s a bit weirder on the surface, but they complement each other well and feel a lot less janky to me. Half the time with stuff like stasis I felt like I was fighting against the game trying to get the correct angle and momentum, but the new set of abilities pretty much always does what I want it to and lets me do all sorts of silly things in ways that don’t even seem like they should work at first. The game is at its best when I’m just messing around with that stuff to invent and solve problems in unusual ways.

And then the game is at its worst when I have to do combat of any kind. I can tolerate it better than in the previous game, but I’m still not a fan. I’m still reluctant to use my best weapons or any items I don’t have a reliable supply of, and the controls are still wack. You cannot convince me that run on B and jump on X isn’t crazy or that not being able to remap them is a good idea. I’m also still not a fan of the half dozen popup menus for changing weapons or selecting items or whatever because while they do technically work they’re so awkward to use and would really benefit from a third hand. Finally the N64 controller’s true purpose is revealed.

And speaking of menus, the menus still kinda suck too. Why is every food ingredient and every rock and every bug and every plant and 7000 other things dumped into a single tab instead of having sub-categories? Why is every single one of them available in the popup menu for attaching them to arrows or throwing them or whatever with apparently no way to at least favorite things? Why are there no options in the options menu like changing the volume (ideally with music/voice/sound effects separately adjustable)?

And why is the map? Why can’t I reveal stuff on the map just by going there? Why after the map is revealed is there no way to tell which parts of it I’ve been to already and which ones I haven’t (especially annoying so far for tiny random sky islands)? Why do I have to mark every stupid little thing on it by hand? I am playing the game on a computer, and my map exists on an in-game computer. Computers are supposed to deal with this crap for me so I can do something fun instead. And this is coming from someone who drew their own maps for the NES/SNES games on graph paper and actually enjoyed it.

A lot of these things aren’t huge deals on their own, but I’ve been spoiled by the vast number of quality of life features in XC3 and its DLC recently, and the little things add up. And I know there are people at Nintendo who know how to address these things because literally people from Monolith worked on both BotW and TotK, just not on those specific parts of them as far as I understand (mainly with building the open worlds because they already had previous experience doing that).

On the plus side, even if I’m a little underwhelmed by the story and storytelling (thanks again for ruining everything for me, Monolith), it was immediately much more engaging to me than BotW’s was. Wow, there are actual characters with motivations and stuff right off the bat. Neat! No offense to anyone who liked Calamity Ganon and the Calamity in general, but that was the least compelling antagonist in a Zelda game since probably the NES for me, and I’m glad they’ve taken a bit of a different approach this time. We’ll see what I think if/when I get further through it, but so far it’s at least better even if I don’t entirely love it.

I dunno, it’s something I guess. There’s just enough there for me that I’m still going, but it sure is good at discouraging me from doing stuff that would be lots of fun for me with minor tweaks. But hey, at least locking on to enemies actually follows them with the camera again now, so that’s nice. You know, that feature they literally invented for Ocarina of Time and nearly every 3D game anyone’s made has used since then but then they decided not to in BotW because...reasons?

In conclusion, it seems to be a great game for many other people and a decent but frequently frustrating one for me, but shifted a bit more toward decent and a bit less toward frustrating than the previous game. I’m still not convinced either one of them is a Zelda game though. They feel like something totally different to me with a vague Zelda theme overlaid on them. Oh also the puzzles are much better this time around so far. So that’s nice and more Zelda-y. And maybe we’ll get a Musou game out of it again in a couple years like we did last time, which would be nice because Age of Calamity was the best Zelda game since A Link Between Worlds (not counting remakes and stuff).

#tears of the kingdom #future redeemed #cadence of hyrule #the outer worlds #theatrhythm final bar line #pixel puzzle makeout league #zelda #theatrhythm #final fantasy

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agentmmayy · 2 years

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november & december rotation

combining these last two months of 2022 into one rotation post since i did not listen to that much new music but what i did, i found some really good songs to end the year with so here’s a post to start the new year off

golden child - paravi: whole bop!!!!!!!!! paravi’s voice is gorgeous. delivers the struggle of growing up “the golden child” so poignantly and without remorse. it’s absolutely delicious and cathartic

remember why you fell in love - natalie madigan: not to blorbo this but i will. chenford. ‘we were adding up sins in the city of angels’ ‘if i said i’m gonna die i’m gonna do it my way’ this song is their entire arc no i don’t take criticism

don’t say - gabrielle aplin: the kind of song to listen to when dancing in the rain or driving through the city looking up at the tall buildings and realizing how so very small and insignificant you are. emo song.

craigslist personals - WRENN: usually averse to titles like this but this song pleasantly surprised me. the chorus has been stuck in my head and rattling around in it for the past 2 months especially with the line ‘if you pretend i’m not around can you pretend to hear me out’ also the vocals are insane

don’t go - kate stephenson: ‘you think you could leave me when i need you most i guess i’m dancing with your ghost’ it’s about the continuous cycle of being let down and being ready for them to leave and to get out of the relationship or situation but not wanting to leave the security of it and then the song shifts with same line but instead ‘i guess i’m laughing at your ghost’ the growth!!!!! the journey!!!! the realization that you don’t need them!!!

nostalgic for the moment - kathryn gallagher: this song has a soft core early-mid 2000s rock aesthetic. favorite part in particular is ‘i like it when you touch me i like it when you call i picture how your clothes look on my living room floor’ something about the cadence and the vocals and just how vivid and honest it is. but also how sexy it is. ‘i pretend my hands are yours whenever i’m bored’ hello???????

rivers of my love - natalie madigan: tbh i wasn’t as impressed with this song as the previous one but as soon as i heard ‘i got restless in the bed that we made’ it put me thru the mf roof!!!!!!!!!!!!! what the fuck!!!!!!!!! enraptured ever since. the song is a relentless cry of admission and it hurts so good

moonlight - madison rose: perhaps my favorite song on this entire rotation. the sing-a-long capability is unparalleled and yes i have sung along to it and danced in my chair and around my room. the perfect song to round out the previous ones

GHOSTS - PI3RCE: i think this is ranking right up there with ‘memory lane’ on the gut-punching scale because every lyric came for my ass. which. ‘all i know is you’re the only solid thing i’ll ever know’ + ‘all my older loves have crumbled in my memories just like stone now they’re just ghosts’ how am i supposed to live laugh love in this situation!!!!!!! i’m not sure if it’s the slow almost syrupy music or the gentle hushed vocals but the yearning and the grief and the love is so palpable i tear up every time listening. the part about this song that blew my mind the most is that the singer is also a ghost. that’s why the song feels so ephemeral. and i will blorbo this. derek hale. and i’m a sucker for a cello.

putting this here at the end because the transition from don’t go to nostalgic for the moment was too perfect but this is such a contradiction regarding the use of ghosts compared to don’t go. a ghost being someone you’re glad to let go of where it’s bittersweet vs a ghost you can’t let go of and follow them onto the same plane of existence and even then you’re still looking for them is so insane to me. don’t go has the journey and the growth past that state of being meanwhile GHOSTS is stuck just like, well, a ghost

i won’t need to dream - jude york: everything about this song is dreamy (obviously) it reminds me a lot of similar songs, at least lyrically and in the first few lines, from disney films. it’s so hopeful and not exactly an adult version of those songs but one that makes our dreams seem more reachable. also i think my soul ascended hearing 1:04-1:16 for the first time

#tbh the songs i listened to most in december were 'memory lane' and 'running up that hill' but i've talked about those enough already #so have these instead #oh and 'casual'#any song: *mentions ghosts or has it in the title*#me and 152glasslippers immediately: DEREK HALE #the vibes recently have been 'songs that reminisce a relationship but in a positive and not salty way'#confused but here for it #monthly music rotation #monthly music roundup

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lone-wolf-no-more · 2 years

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Tears in the Sun

Monday, February 20th, 2023

Tired. Yup..oh...Day 9.

Three things in one day. And here’s the deal, when you have more than one thing taking place, sometimes you don’t have time to get overwhelmed.

First big thing. Sold the keyboard. Yup. Its...it’s gone to a good home. Young guy with a 5-year-old bought it from me, and it majorly softened the blow knowing it was going to a good home. Seemed like a pretty chill dude.

Gave me a reason to tidy up the deck as well. Granted, I don’t know how much lo...okay, let’s continue to the second thing.

Rode a bicycle for the first time in maybe two years. Sibling took a trip to the thrift store just to get a helmet for me. Took the bicycle down the road a short ways (on the sidewalk, actually), and turned around and got home just as my ride was arriving.

Not gunna lie, this was the first time I cried today about something related to my mobility, or lack thereof.

What was the ride for, you may ask? Well, turns out the pastor of the church I attended Sunday morning knew somebody. And that somebody has been working with ankle injuries for 30 years.

I didn’t know exactly what to expect, or what would come of it, so I just kinda...kept a neutral attitude until we arrived.

Uncharacteristic for a doctor’s office, I was waiting in a room for less than ten minutes. Just a non-descript room with a padded table, a chair, and the typical recessed lighting.

But what was non-typical was the doctor’s approach to my ankle injury. I didn’t have to say much, but as I lay on my back on that “adjustment table”, I felt my ankle and foot move more than I have in years, and the tears just came out of nowhere. “Sorry, It’s been a long time.”

“It’s okay. Just let it happen. Push against my hand this way. Now that. Now relax your knee…” His words fall into a gentle cadence, and I think that in that moment, my eyes fixed on nothing in particular on the ceiling above me, I felt more at peace, and more relaxed than I can remember in a very, very long time.” Waves, waves again. But not waves of anxiety or agitation. Instead, waves of relief, of hope, of...I honestly don’t have any more words for it.

“You’re a sensitive guy. The world isn’t kind to sensitive people.” “Yeah, that’s for sure”, I answer softly. He tells me that my injury caused me to store more fear and trauma in the body. Your sense of balance that’s contained in your ankles, and in those nerves that connect your ankles to your brain, help dictate your “Fear. Fear of losing your balance. Fear of failure, fear of the future.” I didn’t have to say much, but he seems to know my troubles quite well.

“There will always be some sort of augmentation, but I know that you can gain a lot of mobility back in your ankle, what you should’ve had if you had gotten proper therapy a long time ago.”

As I am typing this out, I can already feel more life coursing through the nerves at the top of my feet, where by and large numbness has prevailed. I guess sometimes hope feels a lot like small jolts of electricity. Kinda like those little sparks I used to make appear when as I kid I would turn out the lights and shake my bed spread. Seems I’m also slowly re-capturing that child-like wonder I had, too. :)

So there is hope yet, just as I have been thinking there was. I’ve never truly given up on regaining more ankle mobility.

Okay, time to publish this post.

Todaloo.

youtube

#Youtube

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weirdmarioenemies · 3 years

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Name: Podoboo

Debut: Super Mario Bros.

Before I start this post, I’d like to clear something up. Podoboo? Yes, Podoboo! I’m well aware these enemies are often called Lava Bubbles and that’s the name Nintendo has been trying to make standardised these days, but you know what? You can’t make me! Podoboo is a lot cuter, plus its the name I grew up with and changes in society scare me and cause me to lash out! Maybe Lava Bubble is closer to the Japanese name of just “Bubble”, but since when has that been a factor in any of the localised names? Do you really want to refer as Lakitu as “Jugemu”, huh? I’ll have you know one of my civil rights as a citizen of Wet Dry World is to refer to Mario enemies with whichever official name I please. Like it or leave it!

So this is a post about Podoboo. Do you like Podoboo? I certainly Podo-do! They are perhaps the most generic design you could give to a Mario enemy, a visibly Dangerous Thing with two eyes, but they have always charmed me! It’s the little things, like their distinct shape and the fact their pupils are somewhat wider than most obstacles like this. They bring me comfort in dire times. No matter what happens, I know Podoboo will be there, jumping at a set height in a particular spot of lava! Without them I would be nothing!

So simple is their design, isn’t it weird to think they started off as even simpler? The Podoboos in the first SMB game are completely blind, and with no eyes they may as well not be creatures at all! Of course, I’m very glad they are creatures, and their iconic behaviour was there from the start! They love to jump, of course! There is nothing they would rather be doing!

Awaken! As of Super Mario World, they have been gifted sight and are no longer blind to the sins of this world! Hurray! What do you think they see as they jump up and down? I’m surprised it doesn’t make them dizzy!

You’ll be glad to hear Podoboos have had an expansive career ever since, now with their new trademark eyes! After all, they are THE lava enemy! Anywhere you’ve got that tasty hot fire juice, these guys are soon to follow! Here they are in Super Mario RPG, called Sparkies here because they couldn’t make up their minds on a localized name and probably because they confused them with Li’l Sparkies. In Yoshi’s Story they even called them Spark Spooks! Geez, I’ll even take the name Lava Bubble over this! But doesn’t this render look nice and juicy?

Though any great career has its flops, and I have to say... I am usually the first to campaign for the unique designs from the first three Paper Marios, but I do not really like this Lava Bubble! This takes away from their distinct Mario-y charm and makes them look like a Fire Enemy you could find in any other game! Though in the RPGs they are able to float around without needing any lava, the ones in Super Paper Mario act just like the platformer ones, jumping around despite not looking like they should be doing that! Ok!

The Podoboo from New Super Mario Bros. DS just wasn’t trying very hard at all. Come on! They could’ve it a bit more justice than this!

Ah, there we go! The Podoboos in New Super Mario Bros. Wii decided to finally stop messing about and go back to what everyone loved from them in Super Mario World. I encourage experimenting with your identity, of course, but it’s good to be back, and now they are more mortal than ever! A single shot from an Ice Flower is enough to instantly vaporize a Podoboo in a puff of smoke, which is a bit scary! Are they really just pure fireballs that can be put out just like that? What a frightening life to live!

And in Super Mario Galaxy 2, they... hey, wait!! You took away their eyes again! Now you are just being inconsiderate. This outraged me as a kid! One of my most vivid memories of playing this game with my brother involved chanting “Podoboo rights! They deserve eyes!” because this upset me so much. Maybe my past as an activist is why I am so passionate about Mario enemies these days... I think I was 100 percent correct in hindsight, and now you know some of my backstory, too!

What relief it gave me to find out they were back to their usual selves in 3D Land! And they have been ever since, of course getting redesigned for the modern Paper Mario games and everything.

What’s this? Blue Podoboos! Podo-blues, even...! They show up in 3D World, in its incredibly cool-looking blue lava levels! It’s a well known fact that blue fire is objectively cooler than red fire, and it seems even the Podoboos wanted in on the action! Blue Lava is an actual phenomenon I’ve just learnt, though it’s a sulfuric fire rather than lava. Could it be that Podoboos, being made entirely of lava, adapt to their environment? I’m not sure...

As an aside, the blue Lava Bubbles aren’t to be confused with Lava Bubble (Blue), which are from Mario Galaxy and show up during King Kaliente’s fight! They hop around on the ground and have square-ish eyes, which is enough to make them different I guess!

The Podoboo’s next big appearance, in Super Mario Odyssey, was in Soup! Yes you heard me- Soup! Some delightfully pepto-bismol pink coloured soup, no less. This is why I wasn’t too sure about Podoboo’s being able to adapt to their environment earlier- the Luncheon Kingdom is a big soup volcano after all, but the fact these Lava Bubbles are able to live in it is very interesting!

There is simply no way I would talk about Odyssey here without talking about possibly its greatest achievement, the best game design decision ever made! After decades of begging from fans, they finally did the impossible- they made Podoboo playable! Now it is Podo-you! It is quite unlike the other captures in the game, since it keeps the Podoboo’s simple-looking eyes and simply adds onto it a nose and a mustache! You may very well be the world’s first Podoboo with a sense of smell! I wonder if that is a benefit or not. The constant smell of soup might be a bit overpowering.

Not only is this delightful, but it gives us more insight into the life of the humble Podoboo. First of all is the fact that they can swim around in lava, not just jump in one spot! Do you think they do this when we aren’t looking? I really hope so! Imagine a school of Podoboos swimming through molten lava in a castle’s moat. How delightful!

The Luncheon Kingdom is also home to a number of Lava cannons, marked with a Podoboo’s lovely face. These are cannons for only for Podoboos to launch themselves across the kingdom, from one body of lava to another! My question is whether this was technology made by Podoboos themselves or whether it was made by some generous Podoboo lovers as some lava equivalent to the Fish Tube. I think I would take either explanation!

And last I have a Podoboo appearance that even I, the world’s biggest Podoboo fan, didn’t know about! Paper Mario Color Splash has a Big Lava Bubble boss which speaks with you through a Shy Guy translator! It is quite upset that you barged into its volcano and decided to change the temperature. Mario, of course, kills it anyway, and also the Shy Guy translator without a second thought.

Still, just take a look at this sprite sheet! How cute! A little disappointing that they thinned out the eyes, but wow! They more than make up for it with this range of expressions! An angry Podoboo! A sad Podoboo! And my personal favorite is of course the shocked Podoboo with its assymetrical dot eyes, which might be one of the best things I’ve ever seen.

To be honest, I could talk about Podoboo forever! If you didn’t stop me, I would go on all day about their every appearance, but I kind of had to limit myself to some of the most relevant ones. I just think they’re neat! And cute! And silly! Besides, I’m Mod F Boy, so I’m basically obliged to talk about fireballs with eyes! But for now I must bid you Pod-adieu!

...Not! What, did you really believe me? Well you clicked the Keep Reading button, so you only have yourself to blame for this. Here I am talking about more Lava Bubbles from all over, because Lava Bubble’s career has taken it BEYOND the Mario series! Wow!

Podoboo’s had quite a few appearance in the Zelda series, appearing in Link’s Awakening, both the Oracle games, and even Cadence of Hyrule! Their Zelda wiki page is still called Podoboo instead of Lava Bubble, which means those Zelda fans have it better than we do. But wow, this is a pretty angry looking Podoboo! I wouldn’t mess with them!

Both the Oracle games even had a Podoboo Tower! Amazing! They look quite a lot like a Fire Snake, but they are simply a tower of Podoboos! Why don’t they do this more often?

Hm... The Cadence of Hyrule one doesn’t have any eyes. Come on guys! It’s 2019! Podoboos having eyes should be standard! Though they still made the conscious decision to call them “Podoboos” in 2019, so I can’t be too mad.

And they have even spread to Minecraft! In the Mario Mash-up Pack, they replace the Magma Cube enemies, and really there was no better choice for this. And now we have a Podoboo Cube! What more could possibly be left for Podoboo?

The answer is obvious- Podoboo in real life! Thanks to a certain Lego Mario set, Podoboo is now real and can be in your home for the small price of 19,99 US dollars. Please give a Podoboo a home today! Just make sure you don’t own anything flammable.

#mario #mario enemies #podoboo #lava bubble #mod f boy

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hekateinhell · 2 years

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Hi! I would love to know which of your VC fics you're the most proud of, and can you tell us a little bit about the thought process behind it!!!! Like the DIRECTORS CUT if you will.

KACYYY omg hiiiiiiii 🖤

Oh man, here’s where I get to be more self-indulgent and self-absorbed than usual. Brace yourselves. Alright, let’s roll! For the sake of this ask, I'm going to eliminate AUs simply because they take the vampire out of VC lol.

I want to preface all this with a quote from AR I remember as a young teen (had to dig it up). She was reading from TVA, and she said that book, more than any other, was a metaphor for the vampire as, “A creature who thought he was damned and lost and still had a vision of the world as a beautiful place.” It just speaks to me, both as the person behind the screen writing and as something I try to keep in mind re: my characterizations at this point in the fic process.

Anne also got a lot of credit for being the one to humanize the vampire in the 70s and 80s which, I want to point out, isn’t the same thing as taking the monster out of the vampire and making them human—especially in the moral sense. Just another note re: my personal characterizations.

And now to fics! We get mature under the cut. :)

I couldn't decide between these two, so you get both! Lol or you can stop reading after one! In no particular order:

Shake The Disease (previously Bijoux Box)︱Armand/Daniel ︱Rated: E (more out of caution atm, but she'll soon earn it!)

This isn't even a proper fic lol this is my prompt collection. And I absolutely love it because it's my tiny tribute to the pairing that hooked its claws into my brain fifteen years ago and never really let go. It took about six months of writing fic to get to where I thought that maybe ?? I could ?? do them justice ??

My first time writing human!Daniel and Armand, outside of little flashback scenes in other fics. Given how little material we have to work with (consider the Devil's Minion chapter compared to the rest of the Chronicles), it takes Great Depression era creativity and dedication to get the absolute mileage out of it that this fandom has. And it's tricky, because while I want to nail the cadence and dynamic of canon, I have to acknowledge that my take on D/A will be different in its own way. How we all individually process and analyze lit is such a unique thing, no two takes can (or should be!) identical. So finding a balance is my goal.

Additionally, it's been really nice to actually give something back to the fandom through prompt requests (I didn't even specify Armand/Daniel when I posted the prompt list, but my sweet, wonderful, perfect moots know me ❤️).

Closer ︱Armand/Lestat︱Rated: E ︱this one required the Consensual Sex tag, lord help me.

My third (I think?) fic ever, and imo it kind of shows, but it's special to me because here’s where I started feeling comfortable enough to venture into darker themes. I’ve always enjoyed exploring power dynamics and play.

There's a good dose of D&S (dominance and submission) themes, and something I enjoy with this pairing (just like with human!Daniel/Armand) is the vampiric mindreading ability that can be used to confirm consent. Now, obviously, this is a fictional adaption of already fictional characters, but a reminder for anyone reading since we're on topic—if it's not consensual, it is not BDSM and it is not sex.

Armand and Lestat are just fun to work with because they’re very similar in a lot of ways (abusive childhoods/adolescences, this obsessiveness/neediness in their relationships, a tendency to deflect/unholy tempers, underdeveloped prefrontal cortexes, Mutual Marius Issues, etc.) and there's a lot of good and bad history. Sequel coming very soon, bless my heart.

My fingers have run out of breath, but I did want to share this I posted a while back, half-jokingly, but hopefully marginally helpful for anyone wanting to dip their toes into fic-writing (and if anyone wants an cleaner, updated version lmao I will do it): Hekate’s Tips & Tricks for Not Wanting to Capri Sun a Rat & Sob All Over Your Keyboard

Thank you so much for this Kacy, it was really fun and interesting (for me!) to actually take a beat and think about my own creative process. Rip.

#this counts as my writing for the day #fic #vc #the vampire chronicles #you ask and hekate answers

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d-criss-news · 3 years

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20 Questions With Darren Criss: How Acting Has Helped Him Make New Music

While Darren Criss has graced our TV screens with a range of characters, from high schooler Blaine Anderson on Glee to serial killer Andrew Cunanan on The Assassination of Gianni Versace, he was last spotted just being himself, on our For You Page on TikTok. “I’m walking to rehearsal with a guitar on my back with a Trader Joe’s bag ... I did not bring an umbrella because I forgot that it was raining. I’m rocking that NYC musician life,” the Glee alum explained in the hilarious clip posted three days ago.

While Criss’ acting work has earned him acclaim and stardom, he leaned into making music during the pandemic. On Aug. 20, he dropped a new EP, Masquerade, featuring five new tracks that Criss says were inspired by the different characters Criss has embraced throughout his career. After Criss wrote songs for his musical comedy web series Royalties and Apple TV+’s animated sitcom Central Park before the pandemic struck the United States, he then used those experiences as a precursor to his new EP. As Criss continues to promote his new music, he answered 20 of Billboard's questions – giving us a peek into how his new EP came together, and how growing up in San Fransisco shaped him as an actor, singer and all-around artist.

1. What inspired your latest project, Masquerade?

Although I would have preferred that it come at a far less grim cost, I finally had the time. Before the pandemic, I had written 10 new songs for my show Royalties -- along with an original song for Disney and another for Apple’s Central Park. These were all assignments in which I was writing for a certain scenario and character. Go figure. It was the most music I had ever written in a calendar year. This really emboldened me to rethink how I made my own music— to start putting a focus on “character creation” in my songs, rather than personal reflection. The latter was not proving to be as productive. The alchemy of having this time and having set a new intention with my own songwriting and producing made me put on a few of my favorite masques and throw myself a Masquerade.

2. How do you think your background as an actor complements your music?

They are one and the same to me. I treat acting roles like musical pieces— dialogue is like scoring a melody; there’s pace, dynamics, cadence, tone. Physical characterization is like producing -- zeroing in on the bass line, deciding on the kick pattern. Vocal characterization is like choosing the right sonic experience, choosing the most effective snare sound, and mixing the high end or low end. It goes without saying that it works in the complete opposite direction. Making each song is taking on a different role literally and employing the use of different masques to maximize the effectiveness of the particular story being told.

3. On Instagram you wrote that “Masquerade is a small collection of the variety of musical masques that have always inspired me.” Which track do you identify with most in your real life?

Everybody absorbs songs differently. Some key into the lyrics, some into the melody, some the production, some into vocal performance. When I listen to songs, I consider all of their value on totally different scales. So it’s hard to say if there’s any track I “identify” with more than any others, since I -- by nature -- identify with all of them. I think I just identify with certain aspects more than others. If it helps for a more interesting answer, I will say I enjoy the slightly more classical, playful -- dare I say -- more Broadway-leaning wordplay of “Walk of Shame,” but that’s just talking about lyricism. I enjoy the attitude of “F*kn Around,” the batsh--t musicality of “I Can’t Dance,” the relentless grooves of “Let’s” and “For A Night Like This.” All have different ingredients I really enjoy having an excuse to dive into.

4. What’s the first piece of music that you bought for yourself, and what was the medium?

Beatles audio cassettes: “Help” and “Hard Day’s Night.” I just listened on repeat on a tape-playing Walkman until my brother and I got a stereo for our room with a CD player in it, which was when I just bought the same two albums again, but this time as compact discs.

5. What was the first concert you saw?It’s hard to say, because my parents took us to a lot of classical concerts when we were small. But I guess this question usually refers to what was the first concert you went to on your own volition, and that my friend, was definitely Warped Tour ’01. My brother and I went on our own— two teenagers going to their first music festival, in the golden age of that particular genre and culture. It was f--king incredible.

6. What did your parents do for a living when you were a kid?

My dad was in private banking and advised really, really wealthy people on how to handle their money. My mom was, by choice, a stay-at-home mom, but in reality, she was my dad’s consigliere. They discussed absolutely everything together. They were a real team, and I saw that every single day in the house. They both had a background in finance (That’s how they met in the first place.) and were incredibly skilled at all the hardcore adulting things that I absolutely suck at. They were total finance wizards together. So of course, instead of becoming an accountant, I picked up playing the guitar and ran as far I could with it. Luckily, they were all about it.

7. What was your favorite homecooked meal growing up?

My dad was an incredible chef. For special occasions, I’d request his crab cakes. They were unreal. I’ve never had a crab cake anywhere in the world that was good as my dad’s.

8. Who made you realize you could be an artist full-time?

I don’t know if I’ve actually realized that yet.

9. What’s at the top of your professional bucket list?

The specifics change every day, but the core idea at the top is to continue being consistently inconsistent with my choices, and to keep getting audiences to constantly reconsider their consideration of me. But I mean, sure, what performer doesn’t want to play Coachella? What songwriter doesn’t want to have Adele sing one of their songs? What actor doesn’t want to be in a Wes Anderson film?

10. How did your hometown/city shape who you are?

San Francisco. I mean, come on. I was really lucky. The older I get, the more grateful I am for just being born and raised there. It’s an incredibly diverse, culturally rich, colorful, inclusive, vibrant city. By the time I was born, it had served as a beacon for millions of creative, out-of-the-box thinkers to gather and thrive. I grew up around that. The combination of that with having parents, who were unbelievably supportive of the arts themselves, laid an incredibly fortunate foundation to consider the life of an artist as a legitimately viable option. It’s a foundation that I am supremely aware is not the case for millions of young artists around the world. I was absurdly lucky.

11. What’s the last song you listened to?

I mean probably one of mine, but not by choice. I know, lame. But I’m promoting a new EP, what’d you expect? But if you wanna know what I’ve been listening to, as far as new s--t is concerned: a lot of Lizzy McAlpine, Remi Wolf, and Charlie Burg.

12. If you could see any artist in concert, dead or alive, who would it be?

The Beatles is an obvious "yeah, duh." Sammy Davis, Mel Tormé, or of course, Nat King Cole. I would’ve loved to see Howard Ashman give a lecture on his creative process and his body of work.

13. What’s the wildest thing you’ve seen happen in the crowd of one of your sets?

I feel like just having a crowd at all, at any one of my sets, is pretty wild enough.

14. What’s your karaoke go-to?

The real answer to this I’ll write into a book one day, because I have a lot to say about karaoke etiquette. I have two options here: I can either name a song that I like to sing for me, for fun, or I can name a song that really gets the group going. The answer depends on what kind of karaoke night we’re dealing with here. So I will say, after I’ve selected a ton of songs that services a decent enough party vibe for everyone else, then I would do one for me, and that would be the Beatles’ “Oh! Darling.”

15. What’s one thing your most devoted fans don’t know about you?

What I have up my sleeve.

16. What TV show did you binge-watch over the past year?

Dave is a stroke of genius. There are episodes that I believe are bona fide masterpieces. Also, My Brilliant Friend is a masterclass in cinematic television.

17. What movie, or song, always makes you cry?

It’s A Wonderful Life.

18. What’s one piece of advice you would give to your younger self?

Get used to sharing everything about yourself and your life now, or more astutely, to the idea that you don’t necessarily get to control how your life is shared. I know it’s not really your thing, but you’re gonna have to get used to it, so start building up those calluses now. And don’t worry, all the stuff you love now will be cool again in your mid-thirties, so keep some of those clothes because you’ll be a full-blown fashion icon if you just keep wearing exactly what you’re wearing. Oh nd also, put money into Apple and Facebook.

19. What new hobby did you take on in the last year?

I’ve always been a linguaphile. My idea of leisure time is getting to study or review other languages. This past year, I took the time to finally dive into learning how to read, write, and speak Japanese. Other than making music, it was one of the biggest components of my 2020-2021.

20. What do you hope to accomplish or experience by the end of 2021?

I hope I get to play live shows again.

#darren criss #billboard #masquerade ep #press #sept 2021

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blackwoolncrown · 3 years

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The (Sometimes Unintentional) Subtext of Digital Conversations

Different people have different ideas about what it means to sign an email “XOXO,” what you should use Facebook for, and how long you can wait before texting back.

Deborah Tannen

The meanings we glean in conversation are often, maybe mostly, not found in the words spoken, but in how they’re said, and in the spaces between them. Tone of voice, and cadences created by shifts in speed, volume, and pitch, let listeners know whether “Nice job,” is complimentary or sarcastic, or whether “Wow” shows that you’re impressed or underwhelmed. The literal meaning of words is their message, and everything about how words are said is the metamessage. Metamessages communicate how you mean what you say.

More and more conversations are taking place on screens—via texting, Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, Twitter, email, and myriad other platforms. Some of these written conversations make up for the lack of voicing with conventions that mimic speech, like exclamation points, CAPS, and repetition of words or letters. I can be “so happy!!!!!!!” or “sooooo happy” or “SO happy” or “sosososo happy” or even “SOSOSOSOOOOOO happy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Emoticons, emojis, and gifs help, too. But these visual signals are only the tip of the metamessage iceberg.

Human beings are always in the business of making meaning and interpreting meaning. Because there are options to choose from when sending a message, like which platform to use and how to use it, we see meaning in the choice that was made. But because the technologies, and the conventions for using them, are so new and are changing so fast, even close friends and relatives have differing ideas about how they should be used. And because metamessages are implied rather than stated, they can be misinterpreted or missed entirely.

Different generations are particularly apt to perceive different metamessages in the same words or actions. For example, a Sri Lankan woman living in London told me of hosting her sister and her sister’s teenage daughter. When the girl refused to go out after 3:00 p.m., because that’s when her friends back home got active on WhatsApp, the sisters perceived the metamessage, “I’m not really here. My head and my heart are elsewhere.” But I suspect the girl’s perspective was more like: “I’m here with you—that’s a given—but I also want to stay connected to my friends, and I can’t bear the thought of being left out”

I heard a great range of viewpoints on social media while interviewing over 80 women (ranging in age from 9 to 97) for a study of friendship. And my students at Georgetown University have helped me understand how they manage, and sometimes are tripped up by, the metamessages communicated over social media—and how habits and assumptions can differ.

For instance, when Kate Lucey’s sister had not given birth by her due date, she kept family and friends apprised of what was happening with her pregnancy by posting frequently on Facebook. In response, even distant relatives and casual friends posted well wishes and encouraging thoughts. Kate felt that these postings sent her sister a precious metamessage: Many people love her and care about her pregnancy. The posts strengthened her network of support. Kate was stunned to learn that her roommate perceived a negative metamessage in her sister’s use of Facebook. She said she would have been offended to be kept up to date about a pregnancy that way; she would think, “Geez, why didn’t you call?” Kate’s roommate reasoned that posting on Facebook is so easy that it means nothing. A phone conversation reflects and creates a meaningful relationship, whereas Facebook creates a false sense of intimacy, not a real relationship.

The impression that posting on Facebook is insincere because it’s too easy sounds a lot like the explanation a friend gave me (over email) for disliking “THAT DRAT ‘xoxo,’ which means nothing, just keys to hit.” This perspective–if something is too easy it’s meaningless or insincere—makes sense. Taking time sends a metamessage of caring. Yet I like ‘xoxo’ (or my personal variant, ‘xxoo’), and use it, though only with friends who use it first. I think xoxo fills a need: It’s a more affectionate way to close an email than “Best” but not as fervent as “Love,” which, in any case, some people don’t feel comfortable using with friends, though some do. Maybe it strikes some as fake because it’s a substitution, standing for “love and kisses” but not denoting it. Or maybe it seems too cutesy. Whatever the source of these impressions, deciding how to sign off a message becomes a challenge, since any choice you make will send metamessages that you may not intend or suspect.

I was shocked to realize that my students might be perceiving metamessages opposite from what I intend when I reply to their email requests and queries. One of them pointed out that when he emails professors, he begins with a salutation (“Dear Professor Smith”) and a greeting like “I hope you’re enjoying the weekend.” Only then does he explain his request—in detail—followed by a friendly closing, again about the weekend or the weather, before wrapping up with “Sincerely” or “Yours truly” above his name. (I recognized his description: That’s the way most of my students’ emails look.) The student then complained that many of his professors’ responses omit the salutation, greeting, full explanation, friendly closing, signature, and name. All he receives is a naked reply to his question, and usually a cryptic one at that. I realized that I do this, too–or did, before he, and others in class discussion, opened my eyes. I had assumed that dispensing with those formalities sends a metamessage of casual friendliness, more or less the way I use email with close friends and family. But students regard email as formal, so the omission of those niceties often strikes them as disrespectful, even rude. (Now I go back and add the trimmings before pressing SEND.)

It’s not surprising that professors’ and students’ practices would vary, given the difference in power and age. But even best friends can have very different ideas about appropriate ways to use social media. Noelle Miesfeld and Rachel Jacobson had been close friends since college, and they stayed in close touch after graduation, often having long telephone conversations, catching up. After a number of years, however, they began communicating more through texting. This meant more frequent conversations—often daily or even multiple times a day. So Noelle was surprised when Rachel registered a complaint: She’d been telling Noelle about a problem, and she felt that Noelle’s responses seemed too casual and brief to show real concern. Rachel missed her caring, emotionally supportive friend. They traced the trouble to their contrasting assumptions about texting. To Noelle, comforting closeness resided in the frequency of their exchanges. To Rachel, frequency didn’t substitute for the expression of feeling and detailed discussion of her situation that they’d shared in the past—the kinds of conversations that Noelle didn’t feel could or should take place through texting.

When deciding which platform to use and how to use it, as well as how to interpret communications you receive—or don’t receive—you have to know which platforms your friends tend to use and how they use them. Some will answer texts but not emails. Others don’t check their phones regularly, so you can’t rely on texting to reach them. The proliferation of platforms means more options to exploit but also more opportunities for your messages to be misinterpreted. How quickly does a particular friend usually reply to a text or email? What does the lack of an immediate response mean? So firm is some people’s expectation of a quick reply to a text that any lapse carries meaning. A student, telling me about a friend who, in her words, “stopped talking” to her, said, by way of explanation, “She’d text me back two days later.” To her, a two-day delay was tantamount to not talking at all.

Silence can be a deliberate communication. One woman said of a text she received from a friend, “I was so annoyed, I’m just not responding. I just didn’t answer.” Yet in other cases, silence doesn’t mean anything; it results from circumstances. A young woman thought her boyfriend’s delay in responding meant he was angry at her. It turned out his phone battery had run out.

Perceived metamessages of annoyance can snowball, whether or not they were intended. A student recounted in an interview a Facebook message exchange with a friend that, she felt, should have been straightforward but became complicated. She sent a message suggesting they go running later than planned. The friend messaged back, “I guess that’s okay. Fine, see you then.” That little opener, “I guess,” and the unenthusiastic “okay” seemed to imply that she wasn’t thrilled with the change of plans. So the student responded, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be difficult. I’m more flexible than I made it sound. I can actually just do one o’clock like we planned.” That set off a back-and-forth that went four rounds—“No no no let’s do the time you wanna do,” “No no no let’s do the time we said.” Hair-tearing exchanges like these are particularly common among girls and women because, as the student pointed out, they often worry about coming across as too demanding and hurting others’ feelings.

My student Holly DiClemente explained how her peers make creative use of digital features to avoid hurting friends’ feelings. One example is ghost reading—reading a message without opening it, by just reading the preview in the text app, or on your lock screen. If a phone automatically sends “read receipt” notices to let others know their messages have been opened and, presumably, read, ghost reading comes in handy to manage the implied metamessages. If you see from the text notification that a friend is asking if you want to hang out, and you don’t want to but you don’t want to hurt her feelings, you can open the message later and tell her you’re sorry you just got it. The “read receipts” feature can also be used to show you’re mad; it lets someone know you’ve read their message and are intentionally not responding—a visual virtual snub. But there, too, they might think you’re mad when you’re not. Maybe you saw that the message was long, so you put off replying until you’d have more time to read it, or to write a thoughtful response.

Metamessages—intended or not—can reside in just about any aspect of digital communication, even something as minor and automatic as listing recipients’ names when sending email. If you enter the addresses on the “to” or “cc” line, everyone who receives it can see not only who else is getting the message but also what order you put the names in. Two women I interviewed together, Lucy McBride and Annie Finnell, pointed out some of the resulting metamessages: “You feel special when you’re the first one on there,” Lucy said. Annie agreed: “You do. And you feel not special when you’re the last one.” Lucy added, “Because if you’re dead last, it’s like they were thinking, ‘Who am I forgetting?’” To avoid offending those whose names come later or last, you can put recipients’ email addresses on the “bcc” line. But that sends a metamessage, too. It’s what people do when the list of recipients is very long, so “It looks like you’re inviting all of Northwest Washington!”

Anytime there are multiple recipients, metamessages can get complicated. I was part of a group that used email to confer about a joint project. In one such exchange, a member of our group expressed well wishes to another about a medical condition, after which all the others chimed in, echoing the expressions of concern. I was puzzled. I didn’t know whether this flurry of well wishes was related to the ongoing medical challenge I knew this group member had been experiencing, or whether there had been a new and dangerous development I didn’t know about. I asked another group member, who said she was not aware of any new developments either, but wanted to express her general support for our ailing friend. I went ahead and sent my own well wishes, cc’ing only the one who first expressed concern. But then I worried that the others would think me callous and uncaring. I rather regretted having foregone the option of allowing—or forcing--everyone to overhear my well wishes.

Every word we speak is chock-full of metamessages telling others not only how we mean what we say but also who we are. It has always been that way; it’s the only way language can work to communicate ideas and negotiate relationships. With social media, we have ever more ways to do this—and ever more things to worry about, to make sure the self we’re displaying is the one we believe we are—or the one we want to be.

#texting #text #tech #social media #digital media #articles

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foxymoxynoona · 2 years

Note

Okay I’m back to bother you with another comment but honestly, you can’t publish a chapter like that and expect me not to FUCKING LOSE IT.

I’m like, overwhelmed???? EVERYTHING HAPPENED AND I WAS EXPECTING THAT STUFF TO HAPPEN BUT I WASN’T ANTICIPATING I WOULD BE ACTUALLY RIGHT ABOUT IT???

First of all MR. JEON YES! Violence is NEVER justifiable, you can’t fight fire with fire but baby, you did what we all wanted to do since chapter 1 of the first fucking book and I can’t really be mad about it. Yes fighting is wrong but I’m sure the pope himself would’ve helped jk out in breaking the mf’s nose.

And aaaahh the smut is back! I missed it dearly. And it’s here to haunt me because jk improved his dirty talk game to a criminal level. That’s so hot and for what???? I know it’s all fiction, but my mind is running wild and now, after all the pictures of the concerts and you being AGGRESSIVELY back from your break, no one’s going to stop it. If I make any weird dream about this I’m going to hold you accountable😳

one last thing that will stress me out until we actually talk about it… are we close to him telling her about what he went through during the break up? On a scale from 1 to “let’s light ourselves on fire”??😃

🌸

I think it's hysterical everyone's like "OMG HIS DIRTY TALK" because that was like barely anything?? You should all prepare yourself once we get to later books... 🤣🤣 He threw in some English "baby"s and you're all weak!

I also find the idea of me being "aggressively" back from my break so funny. I guess it's true though! I banked so much content! I'm so impatient to get things out and find an update cadence. It feels super weird writing things right now in the background, knowing they won't publish until May!

The violence has been interesting to watch response to. It's intentionally in a really complicated space, and many readesr don't have the triggers Sasha does around violence. It's been especially interesting to edit and think about this in the context of discussions of violence after the Oscars incident (this chapter was written before I ever started posting, so it wasn't written in response to that or anything.) I know a lot of readers had been hoping for this kind of Seojoon interaction for a long time!

As for how close are we to Jungkook telling her... I ain't saying anything 🤐 You're all so impatient! But there's something else coming up soon I think you in particular will enjoy... 😉

#🌸anon #flux #secretsongarchives #asks

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yikesharringrove · 4 years

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So, this began several months ago like this and because I cope by putting my sweet bby through the ringer, it has risen.

Some of that sweet sweet Steve angst. This takes place post-season 3 but they burned the Mind Flayer outta Billy, established relationship.

Read on Ao3

It was Will Byers that found him.

Steve had begun hosting DnD night after the second run-in with the Upside Down. He said it was to keep the kids out of the hair of the rest of the Party Moms, but Billy knew it was to keep the house filled with noise, light, life.

He knew Steve had been hanging on by the slimmest, teeniest little thread after this summer, so the kids were over more often than not. They would play for a few hours, watch a movie (deciding which movie usually took at least an hour in and of itself) and all the kids would pass out in the sitting room. Billy and Steve would take that opportunity to sneak up to Steve’s room for the night.

It was a typical game night when Will was startled awake. Almost a year later, he was still getting nightmares of his possession, of the Mind Flayer using him to hurt others, lure people to their deaths. He needed a minute to gather himself, so he went to the bathroom to the left of the upstairs landing, the bathroom almost nobody uses.

When he opens the door, the first thing he notices is the clumps of dark brown hair littering the counter and sink.

He met Steve’s eyes in the mirror and found them red-rimmed, filled with tears. His hair was a fucking mess. Random chunks had been cut at odd angles. Nothing was the same length and overall his hair was shorter than Will has ever seen.

He didn’t know what the fuck was going on.

He was wearing green shorts Will recognized from the Hawkins High Basketball Team and a ratty old Mötley Crüe shirt Will would have never pictured Steve wearing, let alone owning.

He put the scissors down when he noticed Will behind him and whipped around. His breathing was fast and ragged, he had a white-knuckle grip on the counter behind him.

“Steve?” Will took a step forward as Steve’s knees seemed to buckle. He lowered himself to the ground

“Get Billy. He’s-he’s in my room. Tell him I-” he closed his eyes and took a few shuddering breaths. “Tell him I need him.”

Will booked it the fuck outta the bathroom, opening doors at random as he sped down the hall. He felt like shit leaving Steve alone in the obvious panic he’s in, but if Billy can help, then Will’s helping too.

He knew Steve’s room from the honey smell. Steve had a very particular scent Will recognized immediately, the fresh wheat of a meadow in late summer. The next thing he noticed was the giant lump of very obviously naked Billy draped across the left side of the bed. Will’s mouth was dry as he approached, but this was important. Focus Will, c’mon. He whispered out Billy’s name.

Billy was a light sleeper. He heard the door open and was awake right away. When it wasn’t Steve who was silhouetted against the hall lighting, he knew something was fucking wrong.

The second Will Byers whispered out his name in the darkness, he was up and out of bed, digging through the piles of his and Steve’s clothes strewn about the floor for something, anything, to put on.

“Where is he?”

Will just turned, motioning for Billy to follow him down the hall to the large bathroom just to the left of the landing.

Billy’s heart shattered the second he saw the devastation that was Steve Harrington in a heap on the floor. He approached like he would a scared animal, slowly lowering himself near Steve’s head, carefully keeping his movements slow and deliberate.

“Baby, it’s me. I’m here, I’m right here for you, Honey. I’m not gonna touch you, okay? You come to me when you’re ready just like always. I’m here, Baby, I’m not going anywhere.”

Will’s brain was going a mile a fucking minute. He felt like he was going to throw up. He was too worried about Steve to actually process what Billy was saying, to actually process the fact that Billy and Steve were obviously, together, in a way Will had dreamed of being with another guy. All he could think about were Steve’s uneven breaths and all the fucking hair covering the bathroom.

He began to clean it up, quietly picking up the clumps of dark hair and placing them in the trash he found under the cabinet while Steve slowly came into himself enough to crawl pathetically into Billy’s lap.

“Can you talk to me, Stevie? What’s going on?” Billy was running his fingers up and down Steve’s back, gently making patterns through the shirt Will now figured wass Billy’s.

“I wanted, I wanted it gone,” was Steve’s mumble. Will had abandoned cleaning, dropping himself down the wall adjacent to the one Billy was propped against.

“Okay, okay. Can you tell me why? Take your time, Baby. We’re right here for you.”

“Had another, ‘nother nightmare,” Steve was still taking shaky breathes, spitting out his words on every exhale. “‘Bout the-the Russians.”

“Okay, I know what happened. I understand, Baby. Just focus on your breathing, okay? Try to match mine. We’re not going anywhere.” Billy looked at Will, flashing him a small smile he sheepishly returned. Steve turned his face into Billy’s chest, closing his eyes and checking out, focusing on the steady rise and fall of Billy’s strong chest.

“Is he, is he gonna be okay?” Will was about to have a breakdown of his own. Watching Steve, someone he always saw as strong, the protector, succumb to the same panic and fear Will had felt his whole life. It was jarring.

“Yeah, kid. This happens sometimes. We just gotta give him a little extra love.” He huffed a breath. “Anyone ever fill you in about the Russians?”

“Kind of? Like Dustin told us all about being trapped in that elevator and the underground base while we were getting the Mind Flayer out of you. I don’t think I’ve ever heard Steve say anything about it though.”

“Well, you know how he is. Threw himself of the sword so Dustin and Erica could get outta there. He ended up getting- I mean he and Robin both got, drugged and, and tortured.”

Will felt the tears he’d been holding back this whole time roll down his cheeks.

“I didn’t know that, he-why didn’t he tell us? We can help him. We all l-love him a lot and we’re a family. We’re his family.”

“He knows that. He does, and it means a whole hell of a lot to him, you guys really are his family, but he’s-he’s got it in his head he’s gotta be the strong one. The one to protect all of us, so he pushes his shit down until, well, until this happens. But, kid, you gotta, you gotta promise both of us not to go tellin’ this to the other nerds, okay? You know he would fuckin’ hate it if they all knew about this, and I’m not-I’m not just talking about the attack, I mean, you know, me and him.”

“I promise! I really promise, I know what it’s like, the-the panic and, you know, the, well the other thing.” Billy’s eyes brightened.

“Yeah? You a social deviant too, Baby Byers?”

“I, well, I think so.”

“Hey, welcome to the club! Nice to know there're more queers in Hawkins. I need to give this hick town more fuckin’ credit. Good for you, figurin’ that shit out quick. It’ll save you a lotta confusion. ‘Lotta heartbreak too.”

“I think I’ve always known. Never thought about girls, not when, not when-well. I always knew.”

“Who was your first crush? That guy that just made you go ‘hot damn’?” Billy was grinning at Will. “Mine was Jim Morrison. Saw a poster of him at a record store once, and just, you know. Knew it.”

Will didn’t really know what to say. He knew exactly who it was that awoke the gay beast inside him, but he didn’t really know how to tell Billy.

“This is kind of, well it’s kind of embarrassing,” That only made Billy’s smile grow.

“You need to tell me right the fuck now, kid. C’mon, I can tell you Steve’s too!”

Will flushed. So he was doing this.

“So, he probably told you this, but um, Steve used to coach little league. And, he was my coach the summer before sixth grade, and, well...” he trailed off, not making eye contact with Billy until he let out a bark of laughter.

“Are you fucking telling me,” He shifted Steve around on his lap who made a disgruntled noise before settling back into Billy’s chest. He was entirely zoned out, focused on the rhythm of Billy’s breaths and the cadence of his voice, not registering any actual words from the other two.

“Are you fucking telling me, that Steve Harrington, this lump right here, caused your sexual awakening?” Billy was laughing.

“I mean, he was always really nice to us, and like, I hated baseball, but he made it, he made it really fun and he would always be so excited for us when we did well-”

“Plus, he’s hot as fuck.” He cut Will of, shooting him a wink, with his tongue between his teeth. Will went bright fucking red. “I’m just fuckin’ with you kid. I know he’s a sweet one.”

“He made me want to play baseball. I hated baseball. Only did it because my dad made me. He probably thought it would straighten me out.” Billy’s teasing smile dropped from his face.

“Sounds like we had the same kinda dad.” He took a breath, looking down at Steve for a moment. “He ever hit you?”

Will’s blood ran cold.

“No, not me. He used to hit Mom and Jonathan. I think they both thought that if they got hit, at least the rest of us weren’t gettin’ any. She definitely caught him slapping Jonathon around once, though. All his stuff was on the lawn within the hour.”

Billy smiled, but it was kind of, sad. “Your mom is a damn spitfire. I adore that woman.”

“I do too. She’s the best mom in the world.” Will could talk about his mom all day and all fucking night.

Steve was shifting around again, moving between Billy’s legs and sitting up more on his own.

“Hey, Baby. Welcome back to us. You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m okay.” He looked at Will. “I’m really sorry. I’m really sorry you had to see all that.”

“It’s okay. I understand. I get anxiety like that too.” Steve smiled at him blearily before turning to Billy. “Okay, be straight up with me. How bad’s the damage?” He swept his fingers over his hair, wincing when he felt the different lengths and random chunks.

“I’m not gonna lie, it’s not good. But I think Robin could fix it. She seems like the type that can cut hair. It’s gonna have to be short though. Real short.”

Steve whined, pushing his bottom lip out at Billy. “You gonna dump me? I’m not pretty enough for you anymore?”

Will’s heart nearly stopped when Billy leaned in to bite at Steve’s pouty bottom lip. He had never seen moments like this between two men, just sweet moments that showed how much they love each other.

“You’ll always be my Pretty Boy, you fuckin’ know that.” They were smiling at one another so softly. “You know Will and I got some nice bonding time in while you were working on your breathing.” Steve leaned sideways against Billy’s chest, slipping one hand into the big front pocket of his sweatshirt.

“Yeah? What’d you all talk about?”

“Oh, you know. Shitty dads, first crushes, normal stuff.”

“Oooh, I already know yours is Jim Morrison, you’re old news around here, Bill. Care to share, Will the Wise?” No, Steve, he does not care to share.

“Oh, umm it was actually uh,” He reached around for a name, absolutely not ready to admit to Steve his first crush. “Marlon Brando?”

Steve’s tired eyes lit up a little. “Brando? Honestly, he was one a’ mine too. And Harrison Ford. I saw Star Wars four times in theatres. Couldn’t tell you a single plot detail. So you’re playin’ for our team?” Billy rolled his eyes and mumbled something that sounded vaguely like fucking jock under his breath. Steve elbowed him.

“Um, yeah. Although, I haven’t really, told anyone, so if you guys could, you know.”

“Oh, yeah, discretion is key.” Steve nodded. “We’re not too bad at keeping secrets, you don’t gotta worry about us.”

“So none of your friends know? That’s rough, Byers. I mean, even here I’ve found a few people I can tell, Steve, obviously. But California, all ‘a my friends knew.”

“Well, I mean, I told Mike. Last year. And he was really cool about it, but then this summer we got into a fight, and he kinda, threw it back in my face.”

Billy and Steve both looked shocked and appalled on Will’s behalf.

“What did the little fucker say? I’ll kick his ass if he called you a fa-”

“No! Nothing like that, it’s cool, Billy. He just, well we got into it about how he and Lucas didn’t really have time to play DnD, or hang out with me in general anymore, and he said ‘it’s not my fault you don’t like girls’. We didn’t really talk about it, I mean, he kinda apologized, but it was right when everything was going down. So, I put it aside.” Steve got his Mom Face on.

“But have you talked about it since everything has blown over? Has he apologized? He shouldn’t have said that. He just wanted to hurt you and that was the one thing that probably came into his head, but that isn’t okay, especially if he was the only one you trusted enough to tell.”

“I know. I keep meaning to talk to him, but we’ve been really good lately and I don’t want to, want to, fuck anything up.”

“All the more reason to do it now. If you two are really tight right now, he’ll probably listen to how shitty he made you feel, and feel really bad about it.” Billy was nodding along to what Steve was saying. “And, you know if you ever need to talk about shit, we’re here for you, and you know, probably understand you more.”

“Or if you just want someone to teach the little poser a lesson-”

“I think I’ll just talk to him, but, uh, thanks?” Billy grinned. Steve leaned back into him, pulling Billy’s left arm around his chest to pull him in more. “Um, Steve, do you think I could-I mean, would it be okay to ask you what, um, all this is.” Steve’s face fell immediately, and he shrank back more into Billy. “You don’t have to! I just, it kinda freaked me out to see you like that. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked.”

“No, it’s okay. I can’t-I can’t talk about it too much right now, I’m still a little” he looked at Billy “fragile, I guess. But, well. What do you want to know?”

“Nothing you don’t want to talk about, or, or feel okay telling me but, I mean, why go for the hair?”

Steve shifted some more. It looked as though he was trying to disappear into Billy.

“You know about the Russians? The ones under Starcourt?”

“Yeah, Billy filled me in a little. Just generally what, what happened to you.”

Steve sighed.

“Well, for some fuckin’ reason, the general that was, in charge of us, he, uh, he really liked pulling at my hair. He would just grab it and move my head around, or-or use it to hold me steadily while they, um, while they hit me and-when I woke up I couldn’t think. I just, I wanted it gone.”

Billy’s face was white as a sheet. He looked like someone had pulled the entire floor out from under him.

“Steve, why the fuck didn’t you tell me? I thought you-you used to love when I played with your hair. I would’ve stopped.” He looked disgusted with himself at the idea of contributing to Steve’s pain in any way.

“I thought that-I don’t know. Maybe it would go away? That I would like it again?”

Billy looked like he could cry. A level of hurt and remorse and apology Will had never seen him exhibit.

“Jesus, Stevie. You need to tell me when you feel shit like that. You know all of my shit and triggers and whatever.”

“I know,” Steve buried his face back into Billy’s chest, curling his body inwards again. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, you know me though. You know I don’t like-”

“Having a weakness?” Billy seemed sardonic. Steve’s head shot up to glare at Billy in the eye.

“That is not what I was going to say and you know it. I was going to say that you know I don’t like being vulnerable and I’m sorry and I’m working on it. But this was, I didn’t even realize what I had done until Will walked in.”

A look of pure horror came over Steve’s face.

“How the fuck am I supposed to hide this from the rest of The Party tomorrow? Dustin is gonna ask so many questions I do not have the answers for.” Billy chuckled lightly, all tension that may have been building between them melting away. They snuggled even closer and Will’s heart turned to a big pile of mush.

“Just stay in bed tomorrow. I’ll tell the nerds you’re sick. Plus, you always ass out for about 18 hours after a panic attack anyway.” Steve rolled his eyes.

“Will, do you think you could maybe, not tell anyone about this? I’m gonna have to come up with a cover story and everything.”

“I already promised Billy I wouldn’t. But, you know how you said I could always talk to you two? Well, the same goes for you. We all really love you, Steve. And maybe we don’t understand exactly what you’re going through, we just, we want to be here for you. We are here for you.” Steve’s eyes went even bigger and all watery when Will spoke.

“That, that really means a lot to me. I love you shitbirds. I hope you all know that.”

“We do,” Will said quickly. He doesn’t think he could watch Steve cry anymore tonight. Or maybe ever. “We know that.” Steve gave him a watery smile, looking at Billy’s watch.

“I think it’s time for sleep. I need a soft bed and a big man. Now.” Billy rolled his eyes, but picked Steve up as if he weighed nothing.

“Go to bed, Baby Byers.” He knocked Steve’s foot into Will as he went past.

“Thanks, Will.” Steve’s voice was soft as Billy brought them back into the bedroom.

Will went downstairs as quietly as possible, settling back into his little makeshift bed.

“Hey, you okay?”

And of course it was Mike, whispering to him from his own little spot.

“Yeah. I’m good. Let’s talk in the morning.” And Mike smiled at him, and gave him a little wave, and flopped back onto his pillow.

#ummmm #heres some steve angst bc im on breakdown number 3 #this has been in my wips for months so here it is #im sorry if its all over the place my brain isnt really real today #some original content from em for once in my life :)#yikes writes #steve harrington #billy hargrove #steve harrington x billy hargrove #billy hargrove x steve harrington #harringrove #harringrove fic #harringrove ficlet #harringrove drabble

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catrasredemption-moved · 4 years

Text

Idk if Nonners wants it or not, but enough people expressed interest that I’m going to post anyway. However, I want to expand more on my original answer to this, and a couple other things.

(Story is under the cut if you just want to skip straight to that.)

Like I said before, I don’t care for the headcanon that DT just becomes the weird, quirky sort-of friend that people tolerate. I honestly enjoy their grey morality and the fact that they’re never humbled by anything or really change, because in the end they have no conflicts about themself (themselves? I’ve seen people use both). They’re happy with who they are. They know what they want, and they do what they have to do to survive.

And I know there’s a lot of conflict about the only NB character in the show being a shapeshifter whose loyalties can be bought, but... Idk, I find it kind of fascinating? And before anyone asks, yes, I’m nonbinary, and personally, I don’t take offense to DT being the way they are. Being the only NB rep is kind of dodgy, but DT as a character is still fun. Digging more into their ability to dissect a person’s personality and break them down to their core is just more interesting to me. It’s sort of in the same vein as people forgetting that Catra is still a master strategist along with being Adora’s love interest. DT is weird and quirky and still a cunning little shit who can play people like a fiddle and casually enjoys messing with people’s heads.

I just want to be clear about my interpretation of DT because I know it’s unpopular, but it’s mine, and it’s the mindset I went into writing this particular story with. So... read on, if you’re still interested.

Catra collapsed on a rock, sighing heavily. Salineas was, unsurprisingly, one of the hardest places to rebuild. They had made a lot of progress in the last month, however. It was almost starting to look like a kingdom again.

She scrubbed her eye with the palm of her hand. She hadn’t been getting much sleep or eating much since she had started working here. But it was worth it. Every lost night of sleep or missed meal was worth fixing the mistakes she made.

“Working hard, huh?”

Catra’s head snapped up; she blinked when she saw Mermista standing over her. “Yeah, sorry, I was just taking a break—”

“Cleaning up your own mess is a lot of work, isn’t it?”

Catra narrowed her eyes. There was… something in Mermista’s gaze that didn’t feel right. The water princess hadn’t been overly eager to trust her, but Catra had been working day and night on her kingdom, and that had earned her some points. That, and they shared the same deadpan attitude about most things.

“Um… yeah. I’m doing my best—”

“Doesn’t look like it from where I’m standing.”

Don’t get mad. Don’t get mad. Catra took a deep breath, and let it out again, pushing herself up. “Right. Sorry. I’ll get back to work.”

“You do that.”

Catra glared at her for a moment before walking away. Sure, they exchanged barbs sometimes, but they were never cruel to each other. Maybe Sea Hawk had pissed her off. He seemed to be good at that.

“Hey Wildcat!” Scorpia said cheerfully when she saw Catra returning to their work site. “Thought you were taking a break?”

“You know me, can’t sit still.” Catra shrugged. “Why don’t you go? I’ll try again later.”

When Mermista wasn’t in a bad mood. “You sure?” Scorpia asked. “I’m good to keep going, really.”

“You’ve been here all day. Just go get something to eat, it won’t kill you.”

Scorpia raised an eyebrow. “Have you eaten today?”

“Yes.” No. But Scorpia wouldn’t leave her alone if she said that.

“Okay, fine. I’ll be back in a few.”

She clapped a pincer against Catra’s back and headed off down the street. Catra rubbed her back and got to work. They were almost done with this building, just a few more bricks — maybe she could leave Scorpia to it when she got back and get started on the next place.

“Wow, you’re actually working.” The mostly silent air around Catra broke; she nearly dropped a brick on her foot. She whirled, hearing it crash against the ground, and saw Glimmer standing in the door, arms crossed.

“Yeah, of course I’m working.” Glimmer was okay to ger snippy at. Well, no she wasn’t, but Catra knew she wouldn’t hold it against her. She’d make her cake later to make up for it. It was the inevitable way to Glimmer’s heart.

“I’m just surprised. I didn’t know you actually did much to help.”

Catra narrowed her eyes. “You’ve watched me work every single day.” For the last six months. Glimmer knew damn well Catra worked, considering she’d nearly worked herself into the ground while rebuilding the Fright Zone.

“Doesn’t mean you’ve actually helped.” Glimmer scoffed. “I’m sure people have had to go back and fix whatever you did wrong.”

“Hey, what’s your problem?” Catra didn’t mean to snap — not really. Okay, maybe a little. Glimmer was wearing at her nerves, though.

Glimmer made a show of looking around. “Gee, we’re in a place you destroyed — I can’t imagine what my problem might be.” She rolled her eyes. “Just try not to mess up anything else too much, okay?”

“Yes, your majesty,” Catra half snarled, turning away to finish the wall she had been working on. She didn’t hear Glimmer leave; she just had to hope she was gone.

The wall was almost done by the time a peppy voice called, “Hey Wildcat! Got you a sandwich and some water.”

Catra didn’t even turn around. “I’m not hungry,” she muttered. “Thanks, though. Can you finish up here? I’m going to start on the next building.”

“Um… sure?” Scorpia sound bewildered. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” Catra made her way out of the building. “I’m fine.”

She worked uninterrupted for a few long hours, muscles burning, arms aching, and it felt good. Hurting felt good. It felt right.

(That was a mindset she was trying to break.)

“Hey Catra,” a voice sang, breaking the silence. It was familiar and… not familiar. Catra’s ears twitched as she straightened up to look at Adora, standing in the door of the building she was working in.

“Adora? What’s up?”

The blonde smiled innocently. “I just wanted to see how you were doing.” There was something extremely off about her cadence and tone. It set Catra’s fur on end. “Working hard?”

“Yeah. Been helping clear out buildings all morning.”

“Does it make you feel any better?”

“Huh?”

“You know.” Adora stepped in, walking closer to Catra. “Does it help with the guilt? The shame?” Catra’s ears went flat against her head, tail puffing up. “Or do you get a little thrill from it all? Remembering your glory days?”

“Wh-What’re you…” Catra’s back hit the wall. She was starting to shake.

“You ever miss that? The power? The sick thrill, the joy?”

It wasn’t Adora. Some disconnected part of Catra’s mind knew that, but she couldn’t put the pieces together. Panic was starting to knot up in her chest, twisting her lungs, squeezing them, making it impossible to breathe. It was exactly like something out of her nightmares.

“St-Stop…”

The word is a wheezing cough as she trembles. “Do you ever think maybe you’re too far gone? Beyond forgiveness? That everything you’re doing is for nothing? Maybe you haven’t really changed. Maybe you’re just biding your time before you lash out and hurt someone again. Or maybe you’ve already hurt someone and you just don’t know it.”

Her form shifted and changed, growing slightly, into Mermista. “Or maybe there are people who haven’t forgiven you.”

Another shift, shrinking into Glimmer. “Or can’t forgive you.”

Yet another change, growing taller, taller… into a person Catra only knew from cartoonishly bad holograms and a mural on the wall of Bright Moon.

“People who will never get the option either way,” Queen Angella finished. Catra slid down the wall, curling in on herself, claws digging into her head. She wouldn’t have been able to defend herself even if she wanted to.

And part of her didn’t want to.

“I dunno, guys, she’s just been acting weird,” Scorpia said as she led Adora and Glimmer to the building Catra was working in. “I know she gets in moods and doesn’t like to talk sometimes, but…”

Her voice drifted off as an unfamiliar voice reached her ears. Unfamiliar to her, at least. Adora and Glimmer both exchanged wide-eyed glances and ran to the door, freezing for a moment when they saw Angella standing over Catra. The younger woman was curled up on the floor, clutching her head.

“There are some things you can never take back, aren’t there? Some things things that just can’t be forgiven. Some things that—”

Glimmer recovered first, swiping her hands through the air with a motion that was probably too aggressive for the situation, then fired a blast of magic right at the doppelganger's back. They yelped, stumbling forward, body shifting and changing into…

“Double Trouble.”

Scorpia stormed into the room, grabbing the shapeshifter and hauling them into the air. Adora rushed passed them, kneeling in front of Catra. “Hey, hey,” she murmured, gently grabbing her shoulders, then rubbing Catra’s arms. “It’s okay, you’re okay, none of it was real—”

“Well that’s rude,” Double Trouble scoffed. “I work best with reality, you know.”

Adora’s eyes flashed icy blue as she turned to glare at them. “Get. Them. Out.”

Scorpia nodded and dragged Double Trouble out into the street. Mermista was approaching them, saying, “One of the guards said something about possible troub — oh.” Her expression went flat when she saw Double Trouble. “What are they doing here?”

“That’s a good question,” Glimmer said. Scorpia dropped the shapeshifter, and the princesses surrounded them, glaring. Double Trouble sighed dramatically.

“Do you know how hard it is to get a steady job when the entire planet is rebuilding? I’ve been staying in villages and making money where I can. Happened to end up here. You know the story.”

“What did you say to Catra?”

They shrugged. “Nothing she didn’t need to hear. Although I wasn’t expecting such an extreme reaction. I guess Horde Prime really did break her.” They leaned over, trying to see into the building. Scorpia blocked their view, and Glimmer grabbed them by the collar, dragging them back up to meet her gaze.

“You were using my mother to torture her.”

“I didn’t say anything that wasn’t true,” Double Trouble said carelessly. “Catra needs someone to keep her in check, she always has. I consider it a service to the community to remind her where she stands before she gets too out of control again.”

A memory flashed through Glimmer’s mind. The sight of Catra on the floor in the forge, leaning against rubble. Completely despondent.

What are you waiting for? Do it.

Glimmer had never wanted to ask. She had been afraid to ask. She shoved Double Trouble back, letting Scorpia take them. “Your kingdom, Mermista. Your call what you want to do with them.”

“You could have just stayed here and stayed out of trouble,” Mermista said, glaring at them. “But you blew your cover to, what? Mess with Catra?”

“What can I say? She remains, to date, my most thrilling character.”

Adora did her best to shield Catra from what was going on outside. “Look at me, Catra, focus on me. Hey.” She gently grabbed Catra’s hands. “You don’t need that. You don’t need pain to keep you grounded, remember? Focus on me.”

Catra shook her head with a whimper, trying to pull her hands back, face pressed into her knees. Adora knew she was closing off. Not good. “Catra, please.” Adora leaned forward, resting her forehead on top of Catra’s head and hugging her tight. “Look at me. Please.”

It took a few moments, but Catra finally lifted her head. She was pale, eyes glassy and unfocused. Adora took her face between her hands, trying to make her focus. “It’s okay. I don’t know what Double Trouble said to you, but they were wrong.”

“No, they weren’t,” Catra whispered. It was more of a wheeze as she struggled to get control of herself. “I did so many terrible things, especially here, and the portal, and—”

“Hey, hey.” Adora leaned close. “Catra, please. That’s the past. Don’t let yourself get dragged back there. Stay with me, please. You promised you wouldn’t leave me again, remember? Stay here. Stay with me.”

Catra whimpered sharply, unwinding slightly and finally letting Adora scoop her up, pulling her into her lap. “It’s okay,” she whispered as Catra caught her breath and started sobbing quietly.

“No, it isn’t,” she whispered. “Nothing they said was wrong. I destroyed this place. I enjoyed it. I killed Glimmer’s mother. I… I…”

She curled up in Adora’s arms, wanting nothing more than to disappear. “Hey,” Glimmer said, resting a hand on Adora’s shoulder and kneeling beside her. “Mermista and Scorpia are tossing Double Trouble in a cell. Do you guys want to go back to Bright Moon?”

“I… I still have… I…”

“Mermista doesn’t care if you take the rest of the day off,” Glimmer assured Catra. “She said she’s sick of you anyway.” Catra’s ears somehow went flatter. “I mean — she just meant you’ve been working too hard. You should take some time off. Both of you.”

“I think that’s a great idea,” Adora said firmly. Glimmer smiled.

“Whenever you guys are ready, then.”

Catra buried her face in Adora’s neck, and Adora nodded to Glimmer. A moment later, they were back in Bright Moon. “I’m going to head back and make sure they’re okay dealing with Double Trouble. Be back soon.”

She disappeared again. Adora adjusted herself to lift Catra and settle them both on the bed. Catra clung to Adora, arms wrapped around her waist, leaning on her like she was the last thing Catra had to keep her from drowning. Adora brushed her fingers through Catra’s hair, stopping to scritch her ears a few times. Melog appeared from under the bed, mewling sadly, and pressed up against Adora and Catra, nuzzling Catra’s cheek. Adora gave the cat a small smile.

“It’s okay,” she murmured after a moment. “It’s okay.”

Catra shook her head weakly. “It’s not. They were right.”

“No, they weren’t,” Adora said firmly. “Look at me. Please.”

Catra sniffed, pulling back to look at Adora. “You did bad things. A lot of bad things. And I know those are going to haunt you for a long time. But you are trying so hard to make up for all those things. Do you think I haven’t noticed you sleeping less and skipping meals since we started working in Salineas? Which we need to talk about, by the way. You don’t get to neglect yourself for penance.”

“I’m trying to help,” she whispered. “Nothing feels like enough. Nothing is ever going to make up for what I did.”

“That’s not up to you to decide. And it’s certainly not up to Double Trouble. You didn’t deserve that.”

“Yes I did.” Her voice was miserable.

“So what, do you think everyone should just line up every day and remind you about all the terrible things you did?” Sometimes, Catra needed to be coddled and held while she worked through her episodes. Sometimes she needed a firm voice and to be reminded (possibly against her will) that she couldn’t hate herself forever. This seemed to have turned into the latter.

“I’m sure some people would enjoy it.”

“Yeah? Show me those people so I can punch them.” No answer. “I’m serious, Catra. I know it’s hard once you start spiraling, but you need to try and remember that you’re more than your mistakes. And people know that. People have forgiven you. They’ve chosen to forgive you. It’s not up to you to decide if they made the right choice.”

Catra looked at Adora for a long moment, clearly exhausted, before she finally nodded and lowered her head back to rest on Adora’s chest. “Okay.”

It wasn’t a fix, not by a long shot. Double Trouble using Angella to provoke Catra had been a low blow that would probably haunt her dreams when she finally slept. But it was a start. Adora would take that.

#catradora #catradora fic #she ra fic #spop fic #askbox fic #more or less #This version of DT is just more fun for me idk #but I hope you guys enjoyed it

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dangerously-human · 4 years

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Tagged by both @starspray and @astridcontramundum for pretty similar AO3 questions, so I’ll combine them. Thank you both so much! :D

Name: visionsofmangos, although I am in the process of changing it to human_dreamer_etcetera (starting with AO3, but that’ll probably become my default username for the internet at large)

Fandoms: Currently just Endeavour, with no particular plans to write for anything else anytime soon. I’ve also written several for Continuum and Supernatural, a couple for Covert Affairs, and a handful for a mishmash of other fandoms: Doctor Who, Kingdom Hearts, Sherlock, Fringe, Harry Potter, and the Avengers.

Where you post: Just AO3 now (and snippets here, sometimes). I used to post on FFN back in the day, but I don’t especially like the platform, so I’ve switched over entirely.

Most popular multi-chapter fic: Far and away, by every stat AO3 measures, it’s Those Binary Stars (Endeavour, Joan/Morse).

Favourite story you’ve written so far: Probably Permutations About an Axis.

Fic you were nervous to post: You Know You Can’t Chase the Stars Underwater. The first chapter wasn’t especially fluffy (the unplanned second was, and the third, if I ever get around to it, will probably be somewhere in between), and it felt like a pretty significant deviation from the tone I’d settled into for the Those Binary Stars series by then. It fit more with the mood of the early TBS chapters, and I worried people wouldn’t like that. I also worried because it was kind of a weird... how do I put this? It was in large part about Morse’s relationship with Max, but in the context of a larger story that’s about Morse and Joan, and I didn’t want it to feel like I was propping up one relationship at the expense of another. Especially because I actually do low-key ship Morse and Max (obviously not within this AU), and, idk, I was nervous it would come across like I’m only interested in how that friendship benefits this other ship I’m addressing in this fic. Or something like that. I still think I have some work to do on blending Morse’s relationships with Max and Joan in that story, which is what I’m hoping to do with the eventual third chapter. Anyway, that was a really long answer to a question that probably didn’t warrant it...

How you choose your titles: Oof. I cannot believe I used to love titles more than anything as a kid - they’re the absolute worst now! I spend a lot of time picking out key themes and then scouring Related Words for, well, related words, and then trying to spin something pretty out of that. Sometimes I get lucky and the title naturally comes out of whatever inspiration I’ve been drawing from for the fic (Those Binary Stars from a Russell Lewis interview, You Can’t Chase the Stars Underwater from an Andrew McMahon song, A Little Would be Enough from the relevant show dialogue), and sometimes there’s a pretty way to sum up the content of the fic that fits (Just Once, Still Here, Blurring the Lines). Usually, though, it’s days or weeks of aggravated brainstorming, especially when I’m trying to fall asleep!

Do you outline? Kind of? Now that I use Scrivener, I usually have index cards for each scene I have planned so far, and scribble a bunch of notes in those (often copied from my notes app on my phone, which is where all the random unsorted thoughts go). Then I can reorder and organize those. I usually have a vague idea where I’m going next, but it’s always a lot of exploration and guesswork as I go...

Complete fics: Depending how you count, I think 23 on AO3

In progress: Can I plead the fifth to avoid self-incrimination? ^.^’ I think... maybe 4ish? There’s the spy AU, the characterization poem thing, Three Men and a Baby... Okay, actually, as long as I don’t sprout too many new ones, that’s probably manageable.

Posted WIPs that I have active plans to continue at this time: A Shifting Cadence and You Know You Can’t Chase the Stars Underwater.

Posted WIPs that I have given up on: I had some Supernatural stuff that I originally intended to write more for, many many years ago, but I left them off at an okay spot and I think I’ve marked them complete by this point anyway.

Exchange fics due soon/unrevealed: I’ve never written for an exchange, although I think I’d like to!

WIPs that live in my fanfic folder and are incomplete and who knows when they’ll be finished: I’m gonna say the Endeavour spy AU probably falls in this category. I’m still actively brainstorming, and I’ll write snippets as they come to me, but it’s probably going to be a long time until that’s ready for posting.

Coming soon/not yet started: I don’t usually count things I haven’t started yet in the WIP category, for fear of an unmanageably teetering pile! I will say I’ve considered writing a Broadchurch oneshot, and I have a couple extra Endeavour bits ‘n’ bobs (some TBS “behind the scenes” and some more canon compliant) rattling about.

Do you accept prompts: Sure! I’ve never really gotten one, but I’m open to it, as long as the bestower of the prompt is understanding about my very fickle muse (so I can’t necessarily commit to an idea, however much I may love it). Any fandom I’m currently active in would work, although probably Endeavour would be most likely to get written right now.

Upcoming story you are most excited to write: It’s probably a tie between Three Men and a Baby (Endeavour roommate shenanigans, which is almost done, actually) and A Shifting Cadence (more Morse/Joan, which should have a new chapter posted soon).

#personal #writer probs: fanfic edition

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