#( OOC. ) ━ ANYWAY; moving onto another world...

[ddazzlingblds]

Starter call!

♡ this post for me to inflict this man upon your muse! Can be an one-liner, can be a couple of paragraphs, could be intermediate. Multimuses, give me a muse and for everyone else, expect nothing serious.

[dracaeons]

and if i say that merrill and fenris — not in their dynamic god forbid but in the way they approach their past and their people's past — are like solas and felassan foils To Me. then what.

[ddazzlingblds-archive]

      I think something that would be Extremely Sampo would be madame Brughel Poisson.

      Sampo's female disguises being literally jawdropping perfect because he uses Things to enhance his appearence however he likes, nobody would be able to recognize him aside from the eyes and even then green isn't as uncommon-

      And then there's Brughel Poisson- the most basic of disguises: a long wig without ever changing the color of Sampo's hair, padding over his chest, the same bare broad shoulders, the same strong, long legs wrapped in stockings and high heels and a bit of makeup to unsharpen his features. It's speculated that he did this to see how long it would take for people to notice and call him out on it.

      The funniest thing is that it works. Sampo is better disguised as Madame Poisson than he is with his other methods that change his entire appearence.

      Nobody has ever remotely thought on the possibility of him being Poisson. Ever. People look at him in this attire and don't even bat a lash at the suspiciously identical hair color of the one of a certaint conman, or the resemblance in height or appearence. Nobody will ever find out that Sampo is Brughel Poisson, because in their mind Sampo would never be stupid enough to just put on a wig and a dress and a dab of makeup and dare to parade around like he's fully disguised, because he'd be easily recognizable since they're smart people. Problem is- this is exactly how Sampo fools them. He's right under everyone's noses but those noses think they're smarter than him.

And I think this is one of my most hilarious headcanons for him. 

      Also, Madame Poisson having a certaint follow of Belobogian girls because butch femme. I'd be one of them-

[ladyymiisa]

RISE AND SHINE!

summary: mornings with shouta might be a challenge, but you still love him unconditionally, even when he's being a total pain.

tags: aizawa shouta x fem!reader, fluff, shouta is an insufferable little shit in this so i’m sorry if it seems a bit ooc

author’s note: misa writing about someone who’s not hawks? absolutely crazy. anyway, eat up my children!! (i wish he would eat me instead)

mornings with shouta can go one of two ways:

1. you wake up first, only to be sweetly persuaded into remaining in bed with him for another hour or so. this usually happens on the weekends.

2. you wake up first and are confronted with the formidable task of ensuring that your boyfriend gets out of bed on time to attend to his responsibilities as both a pro hero and a teacher.

today happens to be the second scenario.

“come on, shouta,” you urge, attempting to pull the blanket from his body, only to succeed in moving it a mere millimeter from his grasp. even freshly awake, his grip remains unyielding—a trait whose logic you’ll never quite comprehend.

with a sigh of frustration, you give the blanket another tug, this time applying more force. “your alarm has rung three times already. how much longer do you intend to lounge around?” you ask, your annoyance evident.

shouta remains silent and you find yourself sighing once again.

this won’t do. he should have been out the door by now, and you’re pretty sure nezu will give him another reprimand for being late once again. there’s only so much he’ll let slide.

with your lips pressed together, you silently watch shouta. you observe the steady rise and fall of his chest as he dozes off peacefully, without a care in the world. a few unruly strands of hair have fallen across his eyes, partially obscuring his face from view. perfect.

it's time to resort to plan b.

with your plan set in motion, you roll your shoulders, savoring the satisfying pops of your joints, then position yourself, ready for action. without an ounce of hesitation, you allow your body to collapse onto his like a ragdoll, face landing straight against his bare chest. this action finally elicits a response from shouta.

he grunts in disapproval, partly due to the unexpected impact of your body landing atop his own without warning, but makes no effort to push you away. instead, he remains there, defeated and motionless.

"get off." he grumbles, voice thick with sleep.

"only if you get up." you retort.

you feel the low rumble in his chest as he grumbles once more. a few seconds of silence pass, and just as you begin to think you might have won, his arms unexpectedly wrap around you, securing you in place.

this prompts you to gasp in offence and struggle against his grip, but your efforts are in vain. shouta has no intention of letting you go so easily, not when the warmth of your body nearly lulls him back into slumber. you let out a whine, lifting your head slightly to look at him.

the fucking bastard is smirking triumphantly.

with a resigned sigh, you allow your head to fall against his chest once more. something tells you that shouta won’t be the only one getting an earful from nezu today.

[kroosluvr]

aftermath

ERMMM this takes place after long winter au third semester.... it could honestly vary but i think sometime btwn 5-10 yrs. sumire is abroad, akira moved back to tokyo after finishing hs/college, goro is. around

SORRY ITS 5am again so ill make this quick . again

QUICK DISCLAIMER this is kinda like a lot of me projecting LMFAOSDOGKJSDHFK@#)40 so like dont read into this tooooo much bc idk royaltrio cld be insnanely ooc here but. YEA.

started thinking abt akira constantly calling up goro and sumire even after 1) goro dies (so they think) and 2) sumire distances herself post-third sem. i elaborate on this on my shusumi fic........ sorry subtle shilling

^ tldr i think these 3 kinda drift apart after the snowglobe world crumbles, that false reality that ironically brought them so close together..... back in reality, things feel Different (but this is Our reality right? why does it feel so strange now?) and so. well its just not the same, no amtter what

the. the “the love was there. it didnt change anything. it didnt save anyone. there were just too many forces against it. but it still matters that the love was there” tumblr post

even though they loved each other and knew it too, there was also some sort of looming feeling that it won't last - but it does, still. it exists, in some meaningful sense-

akira sees and thinks about sumire and goro in everything he does, his day to day life, worries about them, wants to tell them about all he's doing, wants to hear about what they're up to. so he does so by leaving voicemails (although in this case sumire changed her number LMFAO. he does it anyway)

in the same vein, sumire thinks about all the things she'd like to tell goro, but with no address to send it to, it's useless. but she writes them anyway - more and more as a solace to herself, conversing with the memory of goro in her head, making him live on in that sense. and with akira i think it's a little more subtle. here she's trying to find a coffee shop that measures up to lebalnc, and of course she doesn't. there's only one leblanc and only one akira. but yeah like in sumire's case she kinda goes these "roundabout" ways in her Missing Them. theres also the added thing of her wanting to be more independent (from goro and akira and kasumi and tokyo and etc etc etc. also elaborated on in said fic)

goro! i think there's smth so poignant about visiting your own grave (i wrote sumire doing htis in another fic. thats an aside) hair cut, mask on, no gloves, he's a different sort of goro akechi but not really in any meaningful sense either. he's just different. sumire leaves the scarf (i think w sumire, she learns from goro like. omg im blanking on the word. LIKE reliability..? thinking realistically? smth like that.) so shes subconsciously thinks oh ill get him something useful like a scarf to keep warm (and a lil more subtle on the love aspect). akira gets him a lovely bouquet, straightforward and honest w his love/adoration, never afraid to spell it out. smth abt goro needing to live a new life now but also he keeps looking back - but this time, there's love when he looks back. there's still love

a kind of "youll always have home with me" sentiment btwn these 3. even if we never return there, youll still have a place in my heart

like "i dont think ill ever have that kind of love again. but i had it once. and even if i couldnt keep it, its still important." THIS IS HARD TO EXPLAIN

anyway tldr theres just some sentiment w royaltrio w Wanting to move on but also holding onto your past, and learning how to reconcile with the horrible parts but also the tender and lovely parts. sometimes there's stuff you gotta leave behind and grow past, grow around, even if it's good. even if it's good, you still have to push forward. <- a lesson that i'm trying to teach myself currently so thats why this is very. projecting. LMFAODSJKHJKSDKW sorry im crnge goodnight

these notes are horrible dont read these.

[euovennia]

oh oh - and if it’s not too much trouble to ask, an addition to mom/dad friend simon, maybe another hc where reader takes a bullet for him and he’s like "why would you do that" and she’s all like "because your my friend" and he’s like "🥹" rubbing my hands together deviously

so for anyone new, this post is a continuation of this request, but it can be read as a stand alone if you so choose! i will say simon may be a bit ooc but you've already been besties forever so it's fine. thank you to the anon who requested this, i hope i did it justice. now please, enjoy <3

so by this point it's become well established that you and simon are pretty much a package deal

one can never be seen without the other trailing too far behind

unless of course one of you (usually simon) is actually trying to do their job

but even then you both have a tendency to hover

well

the hovering is usually done by simon who will take it upon himself to sit somewhere in the same room as you while you work

but you're more direct in your approach

which basically means you have no hesitation in pulling up a chair and talking his ear off

depending on his mood/what he's working on he'll either slide something your way in hopes of distracting you into silence or he'll take part in your mindless chatter

it's usually the latter much to the annoyance of price whose come to notice that simon tends to submit his mission reports just a tad later than normal when you're around

but he doesn't dare say anything because he's just happy simon finally has someone to keep him company

even if it does mean him missing a deadline here and there

now with the amount of time you two spend around one another, there was the small concern that you two may become a bit more reckless on missions together

but honestly?

that couldn't have been farther from the truth

as much as you like messing around with simon, you're very aware that your line of work requires your full attention

so, despite how hard it can be at times, you limit your jokes and general shenanigans to the bare minimum so you can get the job done

and obviously it goes without saying that he does the same by shedding the name simon riley and becoming the infamous ghost

it was a bit startling for the team to witness this change at first

they honestly thought you two were mad at each other

but after the mission was said and done, you and simon started hanging out again and it just kinda clicked

simon probably uses you as an example to soap to be honest

anyway, point is

you both know how to keep your friendship out of the way in the field, you've practically mastered the art of it

but the moment you see him get into a knife fight with an enemy soldier on a mission, you can't help but worry

and you can't help the way your worry morphs into panic as you see a tiny red dot plant itself on his body as he finally drives his knife into the neck of the rival soldier

and you certainly can't help the way your feet seemingly begin to move on their own as you sprint toward ghost and practically ram him into the ground

and you most definitely can't help the yelp of pain that drops from your lips as you feel a searing hot pain rip through your lower abdomen

so much for those bullet proof vests

simon looks up from his position on the ground, knife in hand and ready to stab it into the poor soul dumb enough to tackle him like this

but then he sees you

he sees your face, eyes wide with shock and mouth agape

his eyes trail down your body and he swears his world nearly crashes as he stares at the dark red spot currently staining your shirt

he can only fear the faint sound of yet another gun going off before you're tumbling onto the ground

he snaps out of his daze to catch you and he can't help but feel horrified upon seeing another bullet wound lodged into your thigh

he can hold in his cry of agony and heartbreak as your breathing soon becomes labored and your eyes fill with tears

he gives your struggling form a once over before sucking in a sharp breath and dragging you to a nearby hill that was littered with enough rocks and boulders to offer shelter from the incoming storm of bullets

he settles your head onto his lap as he harshly barks out words you can't even begin to understand through the comms

you can barely register the way his hand gives your face a small smack

your eyes connect as he pulls a roll of gauze from his tactical backpack, "come on, kid. don't do this to me. just a bit longer."

even with the searing hot pain that was overruling all your other senses, you can't help but smile

you grab onto his inked forearm and he stops as he looks back at you, eyes wild and frantic

"hey simon?"

"what?"

"thanks for putting up with me."

your eyes begin to flutter open, a small hiss of discomfort escaping your mouth as you cringe at the bright overhead lights

you make a move to bring a hand up in front of your eyes to shield yourself form the harsh fluorescents, but stop your movements when the lights suddenly begin to dim

confused, you begin to look around the room only to see simon standing by a wooden door with his hand on what you assumed to be a light dimmer

he stares at you through the eye holes of his balaclava, "better?"

you offer him a nod paired with a small smile and open your mouth to offer your thanks but stop when he puts the lights back up to their full brightness causing you to let out a groan

you open your mouth once more to vocalize your complaints and throw a half-hearted insult his way, but stop when you hear the heavy footfall of simon's boots making their way over to your hospital bed

he comes to a stop by your bedside as he glares down at you, a swirl of emotions darkening his already hardened gaze

after giving your eyes a few moments to adjust he speaks, "you're the stupidest person i've ever fuckin' met."

your eyes widen as your jaw goes slack, "excuse me?"

he leans down and stops just a few inches short of your face, "i said you're stupid and i'd yank you off the field myself if i could."

you can feel your heart drop at his harsh tone but decide to soldier on, "you're in a good mood today, aren't ya?"

his eyes narrow and a growl of anger and frustration escape the lips hidden by his mask, "don't give me any of that shit, you know what you did."

you sigh, "i'm in a hospital bed, simon. i don't think i could've done any–"

you don't even get to finish your sentence before he's interrupting you, "why'd you do it?"

you stare up at him, confusion and annoyance evident on your face

"simon, what are y–"

he scoffs, "the fucking bullet! you took the fucking bullet! why'd you do that? what made you think that was a bloody good idea? do you have any fucking clue what you put this team – what you put me through?"

oh

right

your expression melts into one of sheepishness as you attempt to get in a word, but stop when simon decides to continue

"i had the situation handled, i could've taken care of myself! i'm smart, i'm capable, and i have years more experience than you do so tell me, i can handle myself! i don't need you steppin' in and throwin' yourself in front of bullets! you coulda fuckin' died!"

"simon–"

he points a finger in your face as he continues on with his rant, "no, you don't get to call me that, not anymore. from here on out, you either address me as ghost or lieutenant, nothing else until you can learn how to handle yourself on the field. we need soldiers, not daredevils. do you understand?"

you exhale, "no."

before he can continue with his angry tangent you sit up with a painful grimace and grab the pillow the pillow your head once rested upon and fling it at him

he narrowly dodges it and stares at you with a mix of rage and pure disbelief with a glare that practically screamed, "what the fuck."

hit block limit again. i'm afraid this may become a habit. anyway.

taking his silence as your cue to speak, you do just that, "okay fine, you're right. i probably shouldn't have tackled you down like that and taken a bullet for you, i probably should've remembered that you're a fully capable man with more experience than me, and i probably should've remembered that the field is no place to be playing favorites. you're right, i should've kept that all in mind but–"

you let out a small sigh as you avert your eyes to the think blanket draped over your body, "when i saw that gun pointed right at you i...i couldn't bring myself to care about any of that. at that moment, all i saw was you in danger and i couldn't have that so i did what i did. you can reprimand and punish me all you want for doing it, but i don't care. i stand by my actions."

simon eyes you for a few moments longer before grabbing onto a chair nearby and settling it beside your bed

you watch as he sits down with a small sigh, his eyes never leaving yours

"why?"

your brows knit together in confusion

"why what?"

"why'd you take a bullet–no, why'd you take two bullets for me? you and everyone else on this team know i could've handled it, so why?"

you frown, "because you're my friend, simon. why else?"

once those words leave your mouth, you're greeted with his blank ghost stare

again, he's just 👁️👁️

and you feel a small wave of concern wash over you

like

this is the same man who was torturing you with the bright fluorescent lights and lecturing you to hell just a few minutes ago and now he's just staring at you

still and silent as ever

you almost ask if he's okay, but stop yourself when he brings his large hand up to the edge of your hospital bed and begins inching it closer to yours before eventually resting it over yours

it's quiet for a few moments longer before he speaks in one of the quietest voices you've ever heard from him, "you took that bullet cause i'm your friend?"

you can't help but soften your own voice as you respond, "my best friend."

upon hearing you say that, simon can just feel the small well of tears that begin building up in his eyes

and as much as he wants to fight them off, he just can't

you, already being able to sense the internal war he's got going on inside his head, simply turn your hand so you can grip onto his and give it a firm squeeze

and by god he hates you for that

because now he can't help but disconnect your hands in favor of surging forward and wrapping his arms around you

you swear you can feel the small rumble of his shoulders as he tries and fails to conceal his quiet sniffles but you decide to overlook it because oh my god simon 'ghost' riley is crying in your arms and it's all your fault

so you decide it's best to just hold onto him as tight as you possibly can

he notices this and he just melts

what did he do to deserve you?

what overpowering force of life felt that he was good enough for the sunshine that is you?

who gave him the honor of being blessed with you?

he's not sure but quite frankly, he doesn't really care

not when you're holding onto him like your life depends on it

not when you pull back from the hug, look into his eyes, and offer him the brightest smile he's ever seen

and certainly not when you grab onto his hands and speak in that sweet honey voice of yours, "i'll always take a bullet for you. i can't lose you, simon."

jesus christ you're going to make his heart burst

he sucks in a small breath and squeezes onto your hands, "i can't lose you either, kid."

you only smile, "you won't, i'm always gonna be here with you."

words that once would've annoyed him to no end now set his cold heart alight

"you fuckin' better."

your smile widens and you lean forward to capture him in yet another hug

with his arms wrapped tightly around your body and you pressed up against him, he can't help but smile

it's definitely nice to have a friend

:)

[xo-cod]

just like magic

a/n: fluffy fluff with price :") hope you enjoy 🤍 apologies if its ooc lmaoo, its been ages since i've written for him ☠

"don't make me say it, i can't say the words"

rolling your eyes, choosing to ignore the words anyway you sit on the lap of your beloved husband. his lips tinted red from the wine he's consumed throughout the night, the dinner after had left him feeling a little more clingy than usual. a little more vulnerable than he cared to admit to you or to himself.

his calloused hands were wandering, trying to memorise every part on your skin even though he could map out each and every area on your body that melted for him or made you chuckle with his eyes closed. but holding onto your body, your skin as if you'd disappear away from him.

"i think that's a lie, i think you can say those words john price" accentuating his full name elicits a small groan from his lips, something about when you took charge and commanded him brought him to his knees. a side of him price didn't usually feel safe to show others but you were different. even after the months of marriage, his heart still ached with love as it had done on the first day he had the pleasure of glancing at you. as it had done on the night you had captured his heart and held it hostage

your fingers ran though his hair scratching gently on his scalp. and he relishes in it, his eyes closing out of habit as a soft appreciative hum left his lips. he can't help but rock underneath you, bringing you in as his lips barely skimmed your jaw resting softly across the corner on your lip.

"you're a menace, you know that?" his grumble caresses your skin so softly causing a soft chuckle to fall from you and a hint of smile from him. he reached in for a kiss but you kept yours still, rigid.

tonight, you were on a mission. and certainly not one to settle for any less so you refused to kiss back causing price to sigh heavily already missing the affections. his hold on your waist tightened, breathing in the sweet musk of you and your perfume softly as he rests his forehead besides your shoulder. the words could just spill from him, you had him wrapped around your pretty finger and he didn't complain about it not once.

"iloveyou" he mumbles in your neck, breath tickling your chest. it makes you giggle, gently pushing him back. your hands lace with his bigger ones, shaking your head

"what was that?" you whispered, gently moving his face back into your sight. another huff leaves his lips but this time, there's amusement floating in his baby blues. scanning every part of your features, unable to fall hopelessly in love with you as the days went on. as if words could possibly do the emotions he felt deep down any justice, as if they could possibly come close to the love pouring out of him whenever you were nearby.

he leaned his forehead against your own, lips pulled in a small smile as his hands come to hold yours. he gently placed your open palm across his chest, his heartbeat a steady reminder that he was right there in your arms tucked away from everyone and everything that demanded his attention

"i love you, pretty. alright? i just..." he breaks off, breathing a little deeper than usual. it had been such a stark contrast, most of his youth and adult life protecting the world and closing off his heart from love. never daring to fall into it, knowing the tradegy and pain all too well. choosing to live in the moment with his work, the missions, the deployments, the long nights. keeping himself busy from the loneliness that threatened to swallow him whole

but then there you were, you came into life like an earthquake shattering his cold world completely. with you, he understood finally those sappy lyrics to songs he used to skip on the radio. with you, he understood why it felt like the hours in the day were just never enough.

how no one could hold a flame to the fire that burned for you inside him, the embers igniting deeper and more intense than he had ever anticipated but for once in his life, he didn't mind it. the leader to one of the most dangerous taskforce, calm and controlled in every aspect of his life but when it came to you everything slipped down the drain.

he wasn't the captain, he wasn't a solider, he was john price. yours, that was all that mattered. you tilted his world on its axis and for once in his life, he was reckless. he loved it, for how could he not? it landed him you, the you that he adored with every part of him.

"you're the reason i get up every morning and the reason i come back. it's soppy and mushy but you know have my heart, love. you always did" his voice is soft as he nears the end of his confession, his head resting against yours as he looked at your body splayed across his lap. larger hands intertwined together with yours, his fingers stroking soft circles across your knuckle.

there's really nothing more he could think of, you were in his heart and head no matter where he went. he was a man of few words but the ones he did have, he hoped you could understand the sincerity and the truth behind them

"i love you too" you whisper, tenderly holding his face between your palms. your thumbs sweep across the high points of his cheeks, hands resting gently across his beard giving into him completely. it was a magnetic pull, you couldn't help but bare your soul to him wanting to let him in.

your arms went behind his neck, pulling him towards you desperately as he all but melts in your embrace pushing you closer to his chest. as you got lost in the feeling of him, a surety had rose, lodged deep in his throat. his hands hold you as if you'll slip through his fingers, his lips on yours with a deep force that coursed through his veins. deepening the kiss as though your lips were his drug and he wouldn't be able to find his salvation anywhere.

he knew for certain one thing, it'll be you always. for as long as you will let him. for as long as you'll have him.

[runningfrom2am]

michigan cherry // part two

summary: walking into a saloon in a nowhere town, billy meets a singer who he just can't get off his mind after she slips through his fingers; onto another town, another show- following nothing but the stars in her path. until he sees her again. another nowhere town and equally dusty saloon, but this time, the band of kids who made up her family is nowhere to be found. he's running away from something, and she is storming full speed toward something else, and tangling into each other's lives may just get both of them exactly where they want to be.

pairing: william h. bonney x fem!reader

wc: 1.6k

masterlists / nav / requests

tags/warnings: singer!reader (she’s giving very much lucy gray), probably a little bit ooc billy but hey i tried- anyway he’s a sweetheart, use of guns and violence, murder and violence but i try to keep it non-descript, oh also she’s an orphan sorry (once again, lucy gray vibes), strangers to friends to lovers trope eee

the song in this chapter is "Nothing You Can Take From Me" by The Covey Band !!

a/n: sorry 'bout this :)

my asks are also open to talk about this series! (i do have emoji anons open now too!)

send me any and all of your thoughts! here!

series masterlist // pinterest board // playlist

"You can kiss my ass, then keep on walkin'!"

Josie's singing from up by the horses makes you giggle as you're helping Max load up the back of the wagon with your instruments.

"Jay, you know you ain't supposed to say that word!" You call out, a fond smile on your face as you glance over the front bench of the wagon and down at her as she feeds one of our horses an apple.

"You get to say it!" She rebuffs stubbornly, and you turn back as Max nudges you with his sister's fiddle case for you to pack it.

"That's 'cause she's full grown, little miss." He laughs, his brown eyes sparkling even in the dimness of the night. "You can say it too, but not just yet."

"Soon?" The little girl asks hopefully, her mousy brown hair bobbing around her chin as she climbs up onto the wagon with you as you tuck the fiddle away next to the small drums belonging to the kids.

"Maybe one day, as a treat, I'll let ya do that line for me. Maybe." You offer in exchange. "But until you're eighteen, you gotta watch your mouth."

Max hands you your guitar case last, and you tuck it behind the rest of the instruments and toss a blanket over the top of it to keep it covered in the night.

Josie claps happily as Sarah lifts Harvey onto the wagon, and you're all ready to go. Onto another town, more shows, and more nighttime rides through the country's beautiful trails under the night sky.

You climb over onto the drivers bench while Max hops up the other side and settles in next to you. "We got everyone?" He asks, taking the reins and glancing back over his shoulder at the three kids getting comfortable in the back.

"All accounted for!" Sarah calls back, making sure the kids are sitting down as Max flicks the reins and the wagon starts to move slowly in the direction out of town.

"On with the show, then!" Max calls cheerily over the kids singing in the back.

You look back over your shoulder as you hear some very normal shouts coming from the saloon, smiling a bit to yourself as you turn back to face the trail.

"No Billy tonight either, hey?" Max asks quietly after a solid half hour of comfortable silence between the two of you up front, the kids yapping in the back having slowed to a steady stop as they fell asleep by the relaxing and steady rock of the wagon.

You look over at him, a slightly sad smile on your face as you shake your head. "Nope."

"He'll find you." He says, gently bumping your shoulder with his and glancing over at you, a small smile on his face. "And if he can't, someday soon there will be posters from Silver City to Detroit with your face plastered all over 'em. "Come see the world's best singer live in show!" They'll say. Trust me, he won't be able to miss you then."

You let out a quiet laugh, shaking your head and leaning it against his shoulder. "He may have to squint at it, it'll have all of us squeezed on. "The best band America has ever seen"." You correct him.

"No." He shakes his head, scrunching up his nose a bit. "You're tyin' us all together. On and off the stage. Without you singing, we're mediocre at best."

"Hey!" You chuckle, sitting up and smacking his arm playfully. "That ain't true and you know it."

The old wagon creaks underneath you with every divet in the dark path, and it's a comforting background noise to your hushed conversation.

Max has been your best friend your whole life. A little boy a year or so older than you and his baby sister dropped off the same way you were, with a funny accent you one day learned was Parisian. You picked fun at him, sure, but he was a good sport. Neither of you would have had it any other way.

Though, you had tried, once. The two of you at fourteen years old telling other kids at the home that you were getting married, a childish and adorable dream in hindsight, but at the time made all the sense in the world. Then you had kissed him, just to try it, and both of you laughed so hard you woke one of the nuns. She dragged you back to your room, and after that, you never spoke of it again.

You were best friends, yes, but neither of you were quite right for one another. And he told you that one day you would just know.

Max had never seen you look at someone the way you looked at Billy that night a few weeks ago. What really drove it home was how you didn't immediately have to leave and then begin spewing distasteful words about the man who had just bought your water and honey shot for you. You just had this sweet, almost bashful smile on your face and you kept humming to yourself as you helped him pack up the wagon just like you did tonight. You said nothing, and to Max, that said just enough.

He had seen plenty of men and boys look at you the way Billy had that night, but you were sharp as a tack in mind and wit- and if you weren't put off by him? Hell, Max saw no harm in you chasing some kind of happiness outside of the music you make.

"It's... kinda true." He chuckles, looking back at the sleeping kids. "You could easily go big on your own."

"I don't want to." You shrug, looking down at your hands in your lap. "What's wrong with what we've got goin' on here? I'm happy as a clam the way we are."

"Sure, nothin's wrong with this life, but..." Max lets out a quiet sigh, looking over at you again with the reins still clasped loosely in his palms. "I don't know... I want more for you. And for them. Wouldn't it be great for them to have a home? For the kids to go to a real schoolhouse, meet other friends, have their own beds to sleep at night?"

You nod quietly in agreement. You were happy, the kids were happy for now too, but what you had wasn't normal and you knew that. What all of you had always wanted was a home, and now that you were on your own, you still didn't have it.

Max gives you a small smile, not wanting to get you down on it. "Shoot for your dreams, little girl." He says teasingly after a moment, wrapping an arm around your shoulders and squeezing you gently. "For the stars."

"Oh, please, I-" Your small laugh is interrupted when he quickly retreats his arm from your shoulder.

"Shh..." Max hushes you quickly, looking at the path up ahead, squinting at the dim lantern light flickering in the back of a wagon up ahead that seems to be stopped across the path.

"What? Wha-"

He hushes you again more urgently this time, head turning when he hears hoofbeats not belonging to your horses coming from up ahead as well.

"Get in the back with the kids." He whispers, pushing on your arm to get you to go.

"Max, it's fine, I'll just stay here."

"Go lay down, pretend to be asleep. I'm sure they just need help with a broken wheel or something, but I don't want you talking to strangers out here." He whispers. "I'll handle it."

You sigh, knowing how stubborn he is about this kind of thing, and climb over the bench and into the back of the wagon with the others. You curl up next to Harvey and drape an arm over him, holding him close for a bit more warmth and gently stroking his hair as you ride closer to the stopped wagon.

Eyes closed, you listen intently as you feel the wagon come to a stop and hear Max climb down, his boots hitting the ground with a quiet thud against the grass.

"Hey, you alright here?" Max asks, and then the subtle but chilling click of a gun being loaded.

Your blood runs cold, but you don't move.

"What have you got in the back?" And then another click, and footsteps getting closer.

"Nothing." Max says, and you can only hear the tremble in his voice because you know him. "Just my family. Just the kids. I promise, we haven't got anything you'd want."

"You've got kids with you and not a dime to your name? I don't believe that for a minute. You gotta feed 'em somehow." A man's voice says, deep and gruff without giving you any sense they'll be sympathetic to the cause. "You won't mind if we just take a look, right?"

You squeeze your eyes shut and hold Harvey a little tighter, grateful that he's still snoring quietly in your arms.

"I do mind." Max insists, sounding more angry than you're sure you'd ever heard him. "We're unarmed, all there is back there is children sleeping and some old instruments. So no, you can't look."

Kids and instruments, yes, but there are kids and instruments and you. A pretty girl with her show dress still on, hair done up just the way you like it, and the old necklace you believe might have one day way back when had belonged to your mother. Maximilien wasn't about to let them get to any of you if he could help it.

The hair standing up on the back of your neck and the goosebumps on your arms send a shiver down your spine when you hear footsteps approaching the back of the wagon and see the flickered light of a lantern getting closer.

"No! Hey!" Max calls out, and there's a shuffle that makes you jolt a bit, a crack that tells you someone's thrown a punch, and right as Harvey tries to quickly sit up while you hold him down, a gunshot pierces your ears followed by the sound of someone's body slumping to the ground.

You know whose body it was. After all, Max wasn't lying about you being unarmed.

no taglist this time around!! my fics usually get over a hundred requests to be added to the taglist so instead i made a library! follow me over on @runningfrom2am-library and turn on notifs to get updates when i post new parts!!

[messrmoonyy]

And she would rescue me

Tess Servopoulos x Fem!reader

Summary- Tess doesn’t know why she stopped to help you. She doesn’t know why she thought bringing into the QZ was a good idea either. But now you’re in her apartment and she’ll be damned if she’s about to let you die. Snippets of the days you spend with her

A/N- this came to me so randomly in the middle of getting extremely frustrated over a request I couldn’t get my mind to wrap around, and I smashed out a few thousand words and decided I loved it. I feel like there’s a lot of injured reader x Joel fics but not enough Tess ones. So here’s my spin on it.

Warnings- 18+ || light discussion of injuries, I think this is sliigghttllyyy ooc tess, tess realising she can actually let someone in, tess learning to trust tbh, smut towards the end( it isn’t as detailed as usual cause Lord this OS is long I had to chop things out ) : oral ( reader receiving ) , fingering ( tess receiving), tess gets a little panicked during one part of the smut but she’s totally okay, can I get a hell yeah for tess being vulnerable?!

Word count- 13k only proof read once

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Reblogs and comments are always appreciated/ encouraged <3

She didn’t really know why she’d done it. Why she hadn’t just… kept walking. Minded her own fucking business and gone home. But how could she? She still had some kind of humanity left in her, enough that meant she wouldn’t just walk past a girl dying.

Which, when she thought about it, was almost laughable. She’d left her fair share of people dying, most of them dying because of her own actions. So. Clearly her humanity liked to pick and choose its moments. And maybe if this scenario had happened 10 more years into the apocalypse, she would have left you there.

But it hadn’t. The world was still yet to rip the final shreds of humanity out of her.

You had been in a heap at the bottom of a slope, where the concrete of the road had been bombed and now created a jagged rocky mess. She’d thought you were dead at first. No one really ever survived outside the wall on their own, so it wasn’t wrong of her to assume. And if she was truly honest she thought that checking on you was worth it, even if you were dead because you might actually have something decent on you.

Well that’s what she’d told Joel anyway. Her and Joel were close, ridiculously close. They knew each other inside and out but she always noticed she had held onto a little more of her humanity of the years where as he seemed to have buried his deeply away. She was the one that still had a tiny candle flickering in her chest, a warmth that allowed her to hope and care. Even if some days she did feel like snuffing it out. No matter how twisted and dark her mind had become over the years, she still had some light trapped in there.

And so even with Joel’s complaints she had gone over to you. Using the excuse of simply hoping to pull something useful from the corpse. But no. You’d been alive. Barely it seemed. But alive.

Firstly she’d checked you over for any sign of a bite, carefully pushing at you and moving your clothes for any sign of fungus crawling through your veins. Last thing she wanted was another infected crawling around out there, as if their journeys out of the city weren’t difficult enough as it was. So she checked, ready to shoot you in the head if she found even a single sign of a mushroom. And when she’d found none… she’d stood up to leave. You had nothing on you. Even your clothes were fucked. Nothing worth her time. You’d be dead soon and just another body littering the streets. She should just go home and get out of the rain.

But she found herself unable to move. Even when Joel chastised her for wasting time when he just wanted to get back inside the wall and drink himself to sleep.

“ I am not taking some damn girl back inside the wall “ he hissed “ This isn’t you Tess “

“ she’s dying Joel “

“ and so let her die. People die every goddamn day. Including us if we get caught tryna smuggle some girl through the wall. And what’re you gonna do when you get back? What if she dies anyway huh? “

She’d looked down at you again, debating listening to him. If you did die on the way back she’d be stuck with the task of trying to dispose of a dead body. Which she had done plenty of times before but, if they found you without any records of ever being accepted into the QZ? That could cause some problems.

But you were still alive. Somehow. Somehow you had managed to survive out there, and from the flaking dried blood on your face you’d been there a while. You were strong. She liked that.

Joel was wrapped around her finger so even with his protesting it didn’t surprise her that she’d managed to talk him round.

The real surprise was that they’d managed to get back inside the wall, through the tunnels and into her apartment unnoticed. Joel unceremoniously dumping you down on her bed and leaving with muttered curses under his breath that he wasn’t gonna help if she got caught. Which was bullshit. Of course he would.

That had been 2 days ago.

You were still where Joel had left you, but she made you more comfortable. Changed you out of your filthy clothes and bandaged your ankle. From the bruising and the swelling she assumed you’d broken it. But there wasn’t much telling what exactly you’d done, X-rays weren’t exactly easy to go and get now.

She’d also cleaned the injury on your head, washing away the dried blood and stitching up the wound. It wasn’t exactly neat. But she didn’t think you’d mind. She’d saved your life after all. She sat you up every now and again to coax water into you, smashing up painkillers and dissolving them in some hope you weren’t in too much pain.

You’d barely woken up the entire time. Occasionally your eyes would open for a few seconds, gaze around the room in a way that made you look drunk, and then pass back out again. She was starting to get worried. Because you needed to eat sooner rather than later. Dosing you with water and pills was one thing but it would be useless if you didn’t eat anything.

She kept a close eye on you. Locking the doors whenever she went out for work assignments and hoping you wouldn’t wake up and freak out whilst she was gone. But you didn’t. She came home, gave you water and meds, and then went to bed.

She’d been sleeping on the couch. The bed was big enough for two. But she guessed you waking up not only in a strange place but with a strange person next to you might just kill you anyway from the shock.

It made her want to laugh sometimes when she lay there at night. Maybe she was getting soft. Running around like Florence fucking Nightingale looking after a stranger that was probably gonna die anyway. And for what? What solid reason did she have for it?

None. Absolutely none.

But she couldn’t help it. Continuously tending to you and keeping you clean, keeping your bandages fresh. Wiping at your face and wondering where you’d come from, how you’d ended up out there. She had so many questions.

She was getting soft.

You woke up properly a few days after she’d found you. She wasn’t entirely sure if your bouts of unconsciousness had been due to the head injury or the painkillers. Maybe it was both. Either way, your eyes were fully open now.

To her surprise you didn’t look afraid. She found it made that little candle in her chest burn a little brighter for a moment. She was so used to people being afraid. She liked it, of course she did. But the change was nice for a brief moment. To see kind eyes looking at her like she was… a person.

You were both silent. Neither of you seemingly knowing what to say in the moment. She hadn’t really thought that far ahead. And she was confused to find herself stuck for words. Unsure of what to do. She usually was ten steps ahead of everyone, could read a room in an instant and know exactly what her next move would be.

But not now. Not there with you looking at her like that. It was frustrating.

“ welcome to the world of the living sweetheart “ she finally said, crossing her arms over her chest and watching you closely “ or half living I suppose “

“ where am I? “ your voice was hoarse. Probably because you hadn’t used it for so long. It was curious though. Not afraid. No fear laced your words as you glanced around the room, landing back on her and tilting your head slightly to the side like an inquisitive animal.

“ Boston QZ “ Tess finally spoke, grabbing a chair from the kitchen table and pulling it to the end of the bed and sitting down. You watched her every move, eyes following her from the table to where she sat “ I found you outside the wall. What the fuck were you doing out there huh? “

You seemed to ponder on the question for a moment, flickers of confusion flashing across your face. You didn’t know. How hard had you hit your head?

“ I’m not- I’m not sure - how long have I been here? “

“ few days “ your eyes widened at that, eyebrows flying up in a way that clearly hurt the wound on your head. Your hand came up to touch it, gingerly patting the stitched up space in your hairline. You then pulled at the blankets to see your ankle neatly bandaged up.

“ I fell “

“ I guess so “ she said with a sarcastic tone seeping its way into her words. Of course you’d fallen. It didn’t take a genius to work that one out.

“ so you… brought me here? “

“ a thank you would be fuckin nice “

“ oh! Thank you. Yeah of course “ you said quickly, blush creeping across your cheeks. She surprised herself by immediately thinking how… cute… it looked.

“ you feel okay though? “ she asked, immediately trying to rid herself of her previous thought. You nodded and yours eyes fell back onto her, sheepishly avoiding her gaze for more than a few seconds.

“ kinda hungry though “ to her surprise that made her smile, exhaling shortly though her nose in a small laugh.

“ yeah I bet “ she felt your eyes on her the entire time she was pottering around in the kitchenette deciding what food to get you. A small part of her did think she should’ve been smarter than to turn her back on you, you could’ve gotten out of bed and found one of the numerous weapons littered around the place. Killed her and escaped thinking she’d kidnapped you or something.

It made her glance over her shoulder.

“ you’re not gonna hurt me are you “ you said suddenly. It came out as more of statement or a fact than a question though, like you were telling yourself out loud to confirm it. Not really asking her.

“ if I wanted to hurt you I would’ve done it by now. Fuck I wouldn’t have even risked my ass bringing you though the wall “ she made her way back over to you, placing down a couple of the rationed food bars she had in front of you “ they taste like shit. But apparently one bar equals a whole fuckin meal or whatever propaganda bullshit the Military wanna tell us. Just tryna make us eat less “

“ thank you “ your eyes suddenly seemed ravenous, grabbing at the bar and taking a large bite

“ fuck. Slow down. You haven’t eaten in a week you keep going like that you’ll puke the whole thing up in ten minutes “ your cheeks flushed and you nodded, taking smaller nibbles from the shitty food bar. Looking at them already made her crave the fresh food from Bills. It’d only been days and she’d do anything for a vegetable that actually crunched. And had taste “ you can stay here till your ankles fixed… just be quiet. Stay out of sight. Last thing I want is my neck hanging from a fuckin rope because i got caught with an unregistered citizen. Okay? “

“ thank you “ she moved back to the table then, not really knowing what else she was supposed to say to you, and made herself look busy by counting ration cards. As if she hadn’t already gotten the exact number already twice over.

She was mildly regretting bringing you back. What was she supposed to do with you now? At least when you were asleep she didn’t have to worry about you drawing attention to yourself. Now you were awake, what if someone saw you. Or you decided you were in fact scared of her and started screaming or something.

She was such a fuckin idiot. Always acting on impulse when she was tired. And she had been after that hike from Lincoln. She was usually quite rational, but that all went out the window with you clearly. She should’ve listened to Joel. She probably wouldn’t even remember you by now if she’d just left you there. And now? Now she was stuck with an unregistered citizen in her apartment for fuck knows how long.

Way to fuckin go Tess.

“ I didn’t think.. I didn’t think you’d actually hurt me you know? “ you said as she stacked the cards, her eyes flickered up to find you watching her “ I just. I don’t know why I asked really. I actually feel pretty safe here. That’s stupid isn’t it? “

“ a little bit stupid. Yeah “ she agreed.

“ No one’s kind anymore. But you are. You helped me “ was she kind? Was she? She used to be. She wasn’t so sure anymore “ and you’re a woman “

“ nice observation “

“ no I mean. Men were shitty before but now? We ran into this group on the way here… I can’t remember their names but. They just took girls because they could. Kept them like slaves. Infected aren’t the scariest thing out there “ she knew that was true. Not to say that some women weren’t just as shitty. But the men were having a field day with the apocalypse. All rules had gone out the window.

It was stupid of you to trust her so easily, woman or not. She could very much have been planning to hurt you. Or demand something in return for her good nature. She wasn’t going to of course. But most people would’ve done that. If they’d even bothered to stop to help you at all.

Maybe she was kind.

By your third night- well. Nights that you were aware of anyway- in her apartment she was starting to miss when you were passed out. You woke up screaming somewhere in the early hours each night, thrashing around in the sheets and sobbing about things you couldn’t seem to explain to her.

So much for not drawing any attention to yourself.

She knew you couldn’t help it. Not really. She knew first hand from Joel. From her own nightmares that liked to sneak their way into her dreams from time to time. But you needed to be quiet.

She wondered if you’d been trapped in an endless cycle of those dream when you were unconscious. If you had been watching them on a loop as she attempted to care for you, looking so peaceful but screaming on the inside.

“ you wanna talk about those dreams of yours? “ she asked on morning number four. Remembering some slight memory of her mother telling her that talking about bad dreams would make them go away when she was a kid. Something she probably would’ve then gone on to tell her own kids. One of those small twists of the truth that parents did to try and make their children feel better. Something little and mostly useless that they took into adulthood. Even knowing that it wasn’t entirely true. But it worked a little bit.

So it was worth a try. Wasn’t it. Just because she needed you to be quiet. Not that she really cared. Of course she didn’t care. Why would she.

She couldn’t. Caring was dangerous.

“ I’m sorry I know you said about the noi- “

“ yeah you’re waking up the whole fuckin block every night sweetheart you need to get that under control “ she watched your face flush slightly in a way she had noticed you did when she slipped in the pet name. But maybe it was a mixture of embarrassment too.

It didn’t make you special. It was almost… condescending. Her way of keeping herself that one step above on the ladder, she didn’t care.

She didn’t.

“ I’m sorry I’m trying “

“ try a little harder “ you sighed and dropped your head into your hands, shaking your head. Were you crying?

“ I’m sorry “ you were “ I just keep seeing… seeing all the people and the blood and the rain and- “ she walked over to you, observing you like a injured animal that wasn’t quite sure what to do with. The kind where she didn’t know if it was kinder to kill it and put it out of it’s misery or to attempt to console it and bring it back to health.

Though clearly she was already doing the latter.

“ I told you. Tell me about them “ that came out a little lighter than she had initially meant. But she didn’t linger on it “ get it out. Probably won’t make them stop but. Might help “

You seemed to debate it, wiping at the tears on your cheeks and sighing.

She had to admit she was curious to know what was tormenting you. In the world they lived in there was plenty of things it could’ve been. They were 10 years in now and she still saw flashes of outbreak day in her dreams sometimes. Still remembered the first person she had seen infected. The first she had killed.

Death no longer bothered her. She had become numb to it in every way. Paths she had had no choice but to take, that had lead to her ending up that way. She did what she had to do to survive. But you seemed to still be coming to terms with the world around you.

You shuffled to move next to her, hanging your legs over the side of the bed with a small wince as you moved the ankle that was bandaged up.

“ me and a group. 9 of us? We were heading for the QZ. There was more of us at the start but… Pittsburgh is falling apart. A group of us snook out before it could get any worse. If that place lasts another year I’ll be surprised “ she’d heard of QZs falling apart all over the country. Boston was one of the only ones that FEDRA still had a relatively tight grip on “ we made it to the outskirts of the city… these runners came from no where and- “

She sat down on the edge of the bed as you tried to compose yourself a little, surprised to find her chest hurting a little as she watched you. Maybe it was because you seemed so… vulnerable. Somehow avoiding the hardships of the last ten years and behaving like the outbreak had only just begun.

She couldn’t help but feel inclined to protect you.

“ and how’d you end up at the bottom of that slope? “

“ me and 2 others. We made it pretty deep into the city, one of them said we should cut through the buildings. The road was fucked so I agreed. We got separated. Runners. Clickers. I just ran. Last thing I remember is the rain and and tryna get around the mess on the roads… guess I fell. Then you found me”

You’d escaped runners and clickers, and outlasted your entire group. You were really stronger than she thought. Vulnerable, yes, but still strong.

“ and that’s what you keep seeing? In your dreams? “ you nodded and sighed.

“ the others being ripped apart. Clickers chasing me. It’s so stupid I’m sorry. I’ll try to be quiet… I just wish they’d stop“ you dropped your head against her shoulder with a small sigh. Tess didn’t really know what to do. The gentleness of the act was almost alien to her now.

No one had been gentle with her for 10 years. Not even Joel.

You were doing something to her. Had done from the moment she’d seen you lying half dead on the floor outside. The fact that she had stopped at all. That she had brought you back. That in the 3 days you had been awake, the near constant 72 hours in your company, you had declared feeling safe with her. That you trusted her. That you looked at her and believed she could be gentle.

And Tess didn’t know how to react to it. What to do with it. She didn’t have a snarky remark to give you, simply out of fear of hurting your feelings or upsetting you. Which was ridiculous. Since when did she care about people’s feelings?

“ I promise I’ll try control it. Maybe you’re right. Maybe talking about it helped “

“ yeah. Maybe “

She had the sudden urge to tell you it’ll be okay. That she had nightmares too. That she’d lost count of the amount times she woke up in a cold sweat, images of her husband in a pool of his own blood flashing behind her eyelids, the sounds of her son fighting to escape the basement she had locked him in ringing in her ears.

Nothing haunted her more than that day. Everyone had their ghosts.

She didn’t even tell Joel but there she was wanting to tell you. To relate. To console.

She stood up before she could. Clearing her throat and heading for the door. She needed to get out of that apartment.

“ where are you going? “ the look on your face was like that of a kicked puppy, eyes wide and sad. She really needed to get out of that apartment.

“ I have shit to do. Stay quiet. Don’t open the door. I’ll be back in a few hours “ she pulled on her boots as she spoke, grabbing her bag and heading out the door in a hurry.

She needed to get back out among people that feared her. People that knew how dangerous she could be. Just to remind herself she was feared. She was dangerous. She wasn’t soft.

She. Didn’t. Care.

The fourth night was the same. She woke up to the clock on the wall showing 3:30am, you screaming at the top of your lungs and begging for help.

She got up from her makeshift bed on the couch and headed for the kitchen to get you some water, in the way that was becoming routine now. Usually by the time she reached you you’d stopped, but not tonight. You were thrashing around in the sheets, eyes still clenched tightly closed as you sobbed and screamed.

She placed the water down, her brows furrowed and sat herself on the edge of the bed. She grabbed at your arms to stop your thrashing before you hurt yourself

“ hey! You’re okay, look at me come on. Sweetheart, look at me. Just a dream. C’mon now “ your eyes flung open, terror swirling in your dilated pupils “ that’s it. Look around. You’re awake. You’re safe. You’re safe “

Clearly talking about it hadn’t helped. If anything it had made it worse.

“ no! Please- no! “

“ you gotta be quiet. Look. At. Me! “ she grabbed at your face, forcing your wild eyes to focus on her instead “ that’s it. Look at me. You see me? Not a fuckin clicker. No mushrooms in sight. You were dreamin again “ you seemed to register her words, slowly calming down as you took in her face in front of you.

“ Tess “ you whispered it with such relief, like some kind of wish in a prayer had been granted.

“ yeah. That’s right. It’s me “ you leaned into her touch, apparently grounding yourself again against the feel of her hands against your cheek. She watched you intently, the way you had known her for such little time but so clearly found comfort in her. In her touch.

She wondered if you knew the things she were capable of… if you knew the things she had done. Would you be so willing to sit there with her like that?

She let go of you and stood up.

“ no “ you said suddenly, fingers wrapping around her wrist as she attempted to return to the couch “ sorry I- “ she looked down at your hand, the way you held onto her “ I mean- can you. Could you… would you… stay? Here. With me “ she didn’t quite know why the word ‘ yeah ‘ flew into her mouth before she could even think about what you’d said. But she stopped it before it could escape “ please Tess. I’m so scared… I’d feel better if you were here “

“ I’m just around the other side of the wall “

“ please. You make me feel safe “ that took her aback. She didn’t have a single idea how to respond to that. Safe. She made you feel safe.

People didn’t feel safe around her. They felt afraid. They felt submissive to her power, they begged for their life, they felt dependent on her for their pills. They didn’t feel… safe.

But hadn’t that been what she had been trying to achieve? Hadn’t she wanted to make you feel safe. That you could exist around her and not be scared she’d hurt you. And it felt different yes, but. It felt nice too.

“ okay “ it came out far less confident than she’d wanted it to and she cleared her throat, trying to shake off the clearly obvious confusion she was experiencing “ yeah. Yeah. I’ll stay if you want “ you closed your eyes in relief and gave her a small smile, letting go of her wrist.

She watched you pull back the covers beside her and she got in, keeping a nice distance between you both. She had to admit it felt nice to be back in her bed. It wasn’t the most comfortable of things but anything was better than the couch for another night.

It felt strange laying next to someone though. She hadn’t done that for a long. Long. Time. Even when she had made her way through her string of flings and one time things, she hardly ever brought them back to her apartment. And they never slept in her bed if she did bring anyone back. She never let anyone invade her space. That felt too personal.

And yet there you were. In her bed. In her clothes. Finding herself annoyingly thinking about how much better that T-shirt looked on you than it did on her. And trying to ignore how unbelievably normal it felt having you there now. Even more so how normal and comfortable she was having you sleeping beside her.

She turned on her side to look at you, see how at peace you now looked. Your face no longer screwed up in terror, or eyes flashing wildly around the room. The only evidence of your dream the dried tear marks along your cheeks.

She reached out before she could stop herself, wiping at them softly with her fingers. There was a small scar on your left cheek below your eye, she let her finger trace it and wondered how you’d gotten it. She had too many scars to count now. Her face littered with nicks and dotted with freckles from the sun. She wondered if the face she was looking at now had changed in 10 years. If the face you now owned had looked different before the world fell apart.

She instinctively tried to pull away when your hand suddenly moved, placing it over hers gently and holding it in place.

She waited for the embarrassment to come, to ramble some excuse and probably excuse herself back to the couch. But your eyes remained closed, maybe in fear of embarrassing her. Whatever it was. She was grateful. And she let you hold her there, her hand still cupping your face as she fell asleep herself.

“ alright. Come here come look at these “ Tess broke the comfortable silence that had settled over the apartment for the last few hours, drawing your attention away from the book she had given you. She watched as you hopped your way over to the kitchen table, grabbing onto things to keep your balance whilst keeping your injured ankle off the floor.

She’d been working on papers for you for most of the day. Some half cooked insurance policy that made it look like you were a registered citizen if FEDRA happened to come knocking.

Even if they didn’t work entirely they’d still give her enough of a window to get you out before they returned again. And something was better than nothing she supposed.

“ FEDRA do random door to door checks, checking for infection “ she explained when you slumped into the chair next to her “ When they can fuckin be bothered to do it anyway… but if they do there’s a chance they’ll question why you’re here. This apartments only assigned to me, but as long as they think you’re registered it won’t matter. So. Fake papers. According to FEDRA your name is now Christine Hurley “ she didn’t mention that the real Christine Hurley was in fact in a ditch in one of the back alleys of area 2.

That the real Christine Hurley had thought trying to scam her and Joel with fake ration cards was a good idea, and had gotten a bullet in the forehead for her troubles.

“ and these will work? “

“ yeah. I make fake papers all the time to get me and Joel in and out of different areas. Should’ve been a forger pre outbreak. I’d have been rich as fuck” you laughed at that and she almost hated the way it made her heart skip. You were making her too fuckin soft and it was annoying. It was frustrating. She’d known you barely two weeks now, some of which you’d been unconscious, and yet you were making her soft. You were making her feel. Which was ridiculous

“ won’t they still question why I’m here?”

“ yeah but. They won’t really care. As long as you have papers they don’t give a shit. Found me with a girl here before. Idiot didn’t carry her papers with her. Arrested and… well fuck knows where she is now “ your face seemed to change ever so slightly at that and she wondered why “ just keep them with you”

“ you’ve had girls here before? What make a habit of rescuing people do you? “ she scoffed at that. Did she seem like the type to go around rescuing people every day?

“ no. She was here for… she was perfectly healthy. No rescuing “ it seemed to take you a moment before your eyebrows arched and you gave a nervous laugh.

“ oh “ she wasn’t embarrassed, she never had been when it came to sex or her enjoyment of it. She wondered if anyone else would’ve been. Maybe because you didn’t seem uncomfortable at the thought, in fact you seemed quite pleased about it. Something mischievous almost flashing in your eyes. “ interesting “

“ interesting? “

“ yeah. It’s interesting “ Tess raised an eyebrow but you simply shrugged, a smile tugging at your lips that you were seemingly trying and failing to suppress.

It didn’t seem mocking. More… knowing.

She changed the subject.

“ well. There’s your papers. Keep em with you “ you nodded and scanned over them, learning the new information about yourself whilst you were inside Bostons walls. Tess packed her stuff away and stood up, taking it over to the kitchen counter to hide it away in the small stash behind the back of one of the cupboards.

“ was she your girlfriend? “ Tess froze for a moment as you spoke, glancing slightly behind her to look at you. You were still looking down at the papers, like it was a casual topic to simply make conversation.

“ who? “

“ the girl. The one who didn’t have her papers “ she quirked an eyebrow and turned around , folding her arms across her chest and leaning back against the counter

“ why’d you ask? “

“ is that a yes “

“ it’s not “ you hummed a response, flipping the first page over to look at the other which listed all of the work assignments Christine had completed “ she wasn’t my girlfriend. I don’t… I don’t do girlfriends. Or boyfriends for that matter “

“ ahh. You’re one of those people. Alright “ you said, smiling down at the paper and clearly no longer reading it

“ what’s that supposed to mean? “

“ nothing bad. I’m just observing “ you finally looked up, sitting back in the chair with amusement on your face. It was a nice change from the sadness that seemed to be settling over your face every now and again “ let me guess. You get bored. Or lonely. So you go out, find a find a girl. Or a guy. Fuck them. Then leave them. That right? “

It was right. And she hated that you’d read her so easily.

“ no “ you scoffed at that

“ sure. But lemme ask you. Do you really feel less lonely? When you’re with them? Or is it something else? “ she didn’t like where this conversation was going. At all. Or the fact that it genuinely made her think. No. Of course it didn’t make her feel less lonely. If anything it simply made it worse

“ I’m not lonely. I’m better on my own “

“ I don’t think that’s true “

“ yeah. Well you know nothing about me” her words were a little harsh. Defensive. She didn’t want people knowing about her, didn’t need someone trying to figure her out.

“ but I want to know “ you didn’t seem shocked by her tone, or her words.

“ you don’t “ she didn’t want to tell you. She didn’t want to tell you about herself or reveal things about her.

Because it would only scare you off. She knew it.

“ hmmm. I do “ you smiled as you said it and she couldnt help the way it eased the tension brewing in her muscles “ you don’t have to tell me bad stuff. Just. Tell me fun stuff. I’m so starved of like… girl talk “ Tess scoffed

“ there were no girls in your group? “

“ there was two. One was a kid. And the other liked to grab me when her boyfriend pissed her off. Then tell me after it was totally a ‘ one time thing and she was literally so straight ‘ “ you said with a laugh and bending your fingers into air quotes.

“ oh I’ve known a few like that “ Tess found she didn’t actually mind that topic of conversation. Because it was something she was comfortable with and something she could control. And didn’t directly reveal anything about herself. So she sat herself back at the table with you.

“ so was I right then? You just fucking your way through the QZ for the fun of it? “

“ I wouldn’t exactly put it like that “

“ so how would you put it “ you leant forward, chin on your hand and a cheeky smile plastered across your face. You were loving it. And Tess did have to admit talking to someone other than Joel was a decent change.

“ the worlds a pile of shit. I won’t deny myself small pleasures “ your grin grew at that

“ bet you have them lining up for you huh? That scary thing you do… yeah. I bet the guys don’t like that though, you whip them into shape too? “ you said and wiggled your eyebrows in a way she couldn’t help but laugh at. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d really laughed.

“ I prefer women. They’re more interesting to look at “

“ agreed “ even before the outbreak she’d preferred girls. It was true, they were far more interesting, softer, squishier, easier to navigate. Prettier. She couldn’t help the way her eyes wandered over you, mind suddenly running wild. And from the look in your eyes, so was yours.

Two evidently touch starved people in such close proximity, with that topic of conversation was never going to end well.

And so she distanced herself before she could put herself in a compromising situation.

“ I have to go do some work. But I’ll be back soon “ she said and stood up, heading for the door and grabbing her backpack “ don’t- “

“ open the door. Make any sound. Draw any attention to myself. Yes ma’am “ you said, that grin still stuck on your face “ oh and don’t go bringing anyone else back here. You might make me jealous “ you looked back down at your papers then, leaving Tess’ mind still reeling as she opened the door and headed out.

—————————————————————

The nightmares came again that night, seemingly worse than the previous, leaving you in floods of tears after you woke up. And to Tess’ surprise you fell into her arms, clutching at her tshirt as you sobbed and sniffled. She felt her previous annoyance at being woken up fizzle away in an instant, replaced with a deep ache in her chest. Pain at seeing you so upset when you had been so happy during the day.

It concerned her slightly how much she enjoyed your smile. The way your eyes lit up around her. And how much she hated the tears and the sadness now plaguing your features.

“ you’re okay sweetheart. I’ve got you “ she said softly, tucking your head under her chin in a way that surprised her as your sobs turned to hiccups and sniffles. You were gripping her tightly, fingers twisted into the material of her shirt as if you were afraid she was about to push you away and leave you there.

Maybe if you had done that on night one she would’ve. It was strange how much had changed in days. How being around you practically 24/7 had changed her thoughts. She didn’t know if she liked it. if she liked how you seemed to be wiggling your way through the cold exterior of her heart, like a worm trying to reach the core of an apple. Burrowing through until it could reach the centre and stay there.

That almost did make her let you go.

She couldn’t have that. She couldn’t have herself worrying about someone else. Caring about someone else. That was dangerous. And you didn’t care for her. You didn’t worry. So why should she? Why should she allow herself the stupidity of getting into something so clearly one sided. And something she so clearly didn’t have control over. It scared her.

She felt like she was in a car that had had its breaks cut, hurtling towards a brick wall and she had no way of bringing it to a stop.

She really was getting soft. Ridiculously so. There she was sat at her table flicking through a faded and damaged medical book she’d traded for on the black market the previous day, so she could try and figure out how to get you back on your feet again.

She was reluctantly letting it happen now. Just accepting that she was doomed. That for the short time you would be with her she would allow herself this pathetic softness. And the second you were gone she would have her control back. It was all your fault. Yours completely. Luring her in to believe she could feel. To believe she was allowed to feel. To believe that someone could possibly feel for her.

It was stupid. So. Fucking. Stupid.

“ so I’m pretty sure just a super fuckin bad sprain. Says here… two weeks it’ll normally start feeling better. But can take up to eight to fully heal “ she said, clearing her throat in some attempt to distract her thoughts.

“ it does feel better than when I first woke up. So two weeks is accurate “ she placed the book down and went over to where you had your ankle up resting on a couch cushion. She peeled away the bandages she’d wrapped tightly around it to give it some support, pressing and poking slightly at the fading bruises.

“ can you move it? Wiggle your toes and shit? “ you did just that and she shrugged. She was no doctor. But she patched herself and Joel up enough over the years “ alright. c’mon. Up “ she held out her hands and you took them, they looked so soft and delicate compared to hers. A scar here and there but somehow mostly clear. Nothing compared to the scratches and scrapes on hers. The scars on her knuckles from the numerous times she’d split them open.

Hands like that didn’t fit together. Didn’t meet. Hands like hers didn’t deserve the privilege of touching hands like yours. Hands like hers didn’t deserve to touch anyone in a gentle way. They were for business. For hurting. For pain. Yours weren’t. Yours were soft. Smooth. Yours were made for caressing and soothing, for receiving soft kisses on the back.

She was losing it.

She guided one of your arms around her shoulders and helped you get your balance.

“ don’t try walk. Just. Just try put your weight on it “

“ what if- “

“ don’t worry. I’ve got you. Just be careful yeah? “ she watched you carefully as you gently placed your foot down, eyebrows furrowing as you did and hissing in pain through your teeth “ I said carefully “ you sighed and put it flat on the floor but still heavily leaning against her “ feels okay? “

“ hurts “ Tess nodded and held you tighter around the waist

“ try not to lean on me so much. You won’t fall over. I’ve got a hold of you “

“ oh you’re gonna catch me? “ you said with a small laugh, eyes flickering up to hers briefly. The tone of your voice made her throat a little dry and she couldn’t figure out exactly why.

“ yeah. Yeah I got you “ your face screwed up slightly as she watched you out more of your weight onto it and get used to the feeling.

She held you there for a couple of minutes to regain your balance before slipping your arm off of her and holding your hands in hers.

“ now try walk. Hold onto me “

“ I don’t think I- “

“ just try. Look at me “ you watched her face carefully as she took small steps back, helping you to get used to the feeling of the ankle being used again.

She was glad Joel had work assignments that day. She didn’t think she’d ever live it down if he turned up at her apartment and saw that. Saw her holding you so carefully and helping you walk again like a child.

But she found in the hour or so that she did it, her cheeks began to hurt from smiling. For once in her life feeling like the world wasn’t on her shoulders, happy. Smiling. You smiling with her.

It was nice.

“ you got it! Nice work sweetheart “ she watched the utter joy on your face as you managed to keep your balance on your own and walk before falling into her arms.

“ fuck yeah “ you laughed seemingly now exhausted from the small amount of work. But she didn’t blame you after so long unable to do anything “ can we rest now? “

“ we can do whatever you want “ she said with a small laugh, arms wrapped around you to keep you up right.

“ anything? “ you asked quietly, smile fading slightly and looking up at her intently. Tess furrowed her brows, slightly confused at what exactly you were asking her.

It took her completely by surprise when you leant up and kissed her. Standing practically shell shocked as you pressed your lips to hers. It was only a few seconds and then you were pulling back, cheeks flaming red and closing your eyes with a shake of your head

“ god I’m so- Tess I’m sorry I don’t know why I- “

“ you need to rest “ she said and cleared her throat, not wanting to think about had just happened for even a second. Not prepared to deal with the spiral it would inevitably send her down.

All she knew. Was that she was fucked. well. And truly. Fucked.

“ just stay close to me. Try not to talk to anyone. And don’t touch anything“ Tess instructed as she pushed back a palette keeping one of the exits out of the tunnels covered

“ yes ma’am “ you said with a smile and a mock salute, following her through the gap and standing patiently as she dragged the palette back into place “ will there be officers? “

“ maybe. But the ones around here are just as bad as the smugglers. They’re some of our best customers for pills. Turns out sending people to the gallows everyday can fuck you up. Who’d have guessed? Just do as I say “ you stood ridiculously close to her, eventually wrapping your fingers around her wrist as you both entered the courtyard. She wasn’t in the mood to loiter and headed straight for the people she needed. Trading off cards for boots, a new jacket, some shirts and jeans.

Stuff you’d need. That she didn’t have a surplus of.

Ration cards were as precious as gold those days. And she was spending her hard earned ones on you. She definitely wouldn’t telling Joel about that.

She found she didn’t mind though. She wanted you to be prepared. Safe. And the boots she’d found you in barely had any soles left. You wouldn’t get far in those.

It had been a week since you’d kissed her and neither of you had mentioned it since. Falling back into that comfortable thing you’d been developing before. Where you could make her laugh and smile. And you would tease her for being too grumpy which would make you smile.

It was odd how normal it was starting to feel having you around. But she always ruined the moment by thinking about the future. About how empty her apartment would feel when you leave. She’d gotten used to you. And she almost didn’t want to let you go.

Maybe she could work something out, wrap some officers around to her thinking and get you some official papers. She could train you up to help her with her smuggling, show you the ropes and tell you who the best people to deal with were. And who to avoid like the plague.

It could be nice.

“ Tess. Haven’t seen you around for a few days. Where you been hiding? “ she felt you tense beside her as one of the FEDRA officers on her client list made his way towards her. He was a cocky son of a bitch, one who constantly tried to make her lower her prices and was notoriously known for being too heavy handed with the girls he paid for. And had been trying to get his way into her pants for months. Seemingly thinking offering her his dick was worth a half price deal on his pills.

“ don’t. Speak. Let me do the talking “ Tess said in a low voice close to your ear, looking like she was entirely too fascinated by the piles of clothes in front of her “ I’m not selling today Marcus. You know I don’t get shit until the end of the month “

“ I know. I know. Cant I be friendly and say hello? “ she rolled her eyes, hoping he’d just fuck off and leave her be now that he knew she didn’t have what he wanted “ who’s the new pet? Following you around like a little lost puppy? “ you shuffled closer to her if that was even possible, fingers tightly gripping at her wrist.

“ that’s none of your concern “

“ pretty thing “ he said with a smirk, craning his head to try and look at where you were attempting to hide behind her. She surprised herself for the millionth time since she’d found you, when she felt a burning jealousy in her chest. She didnt like the thought of anyone talking about you. Even looking at you. Thinking about you. Which was fuckin. Stupid. But she hated it “ maybe you come give me a visit when she’s done with you huh? “

“ I don’t think so “ her voice was bitter, unable to stop herself from appearing as jealous as she was

“ what? Cant she speak for herself? Come on Tess. It’s nice to share “

“ not this one “ she freed her wrist from your grasp and draped her arm around your shoulder instead, pulling you against her body. You sighed a slight sigh of relief at the contact, pressing yourself against her. She tossed down some more cards for the clothes and handed them to you “ put ‘em in your bag “ you did as you were told, the slightly worried expression that had been on you face still there. But a little less now she had a hold of you.

“ settling down? You’re not the type. You send her my way when you get bored. I’ll be waiting. I’ll even pay you double on my next batch “ Tess scoffed and turned to face him, trying to ignore the burning anger boiling away in her chest at the thought of him anywhere near you.

She saw the state he left some girls in, the thought of that happening to you was enough to make her want to put a bullet through his head in the middle of the courtyard.

“ you know that’s not my game “ he shrugged and raised his hands in mock surrender “ go talk to Robert he’ll point you in the right direction. But this one? She’s mine. So back the fuck off. And come find me at the end of the month for your shit. Okay? “ she enjoyed the way that even the officers listened when she commanded it, that the simple tone of voice and the reputation she was gaining was enough to make anyone do as she said.

“ alright alright. Stay out of trouble “ he said with another smirk, but not as smug as it previously had been “ and you “ he said, throwing a wink at you and walked away.

“ let’s get you home yeah? “ she said it loud enough that she hoped Marcus heard it. That you were going back with her. Not him. Never him.

“ yes please “ she could feel your eyes burning into her as you walked back, almost tripping up because you weren’t paying attention to where you were walking.

You seemed flustered. Frantic almost. She wondered if Marcus had shaken you up, overwhelmed you.

She couldn’t have been more wrong if she’d tried. Once you both got back into her apartment she realised what had gotten into you.

You grabbed at her arm when she closed the door, yanking at her with a confidence she hadn’t seen from you before. You pulled her close and to her surprise yet again, you kissed her. For the second time. It was a lot more confident than the first, more… desperate. Your lips pressing harder against hers than she’d expected.

She found herself kissing you back that time, turning you around and crowding you back against the door. She knew she shouldn’t haven given in, shouldn’t be letting her desire her in the way of what she knew was right and wrong.

But she couldn’t help herself.

Maybe it was the pent up jealousy and anger from down in the market, kissing you being the safest form of release for it. And the most enjoyable. Not that battering the fuck out of Marcus wouldn’t have been thoroughly enjoyable. But making out with you? It beat anything else by miles.

It made her regret not kissing you back the first time, when your lips felt like that against hers. Tasted like that. It felt cruel to have denied herself of it.

It was the feel of your fingers gently pushing at her shirt that snapped her back into reality, made her see some common sense again.

“ hey. Hey we can’t “ she said softly, hands soothing over your arms and closing her eyes for a moment. She sighed and looked at you, your cheeks flushed “ we can’t “ she didn’t explain herself. Couldn’t. Couldn’t tell you that she was getting far too attached. That sleeping with you could well and truly be the final nail in the coffin that she was burying herself in.

“ I’m sorry “ you said, clearly embarrassed. Tess couldn’t tear her eyes away from your lips. Parted and glossy with saliva. She wanted to kiss you again.

“ it’s okay. Don’t sweat it “ she looked away before she could.

“ just. The way you were out there. With that officer and and the way you spoke about me I- god “ she found a smile tugging at her lips as she watched your flustered attempt to explain, groaning and putting your head in your hands. She nudged her fingers under your chin to make you look at her, noticing the way your breath shuddered slightly. You were so easy to work up.

“ don’t be embarrassed “ she could practically see you melting under her gaze, the low tone of her voice and intense gaze making you look ready to drop to your knees. And wouldn’t that be a sight.

A sight she had to remind herself she did not need to see.

“ go empty your bag, take a shower or something i don’t know about you but that market makes me feel grimy as fuck. Then we won’t talk about it. Yeah?” You nodded your head and gave her a warm smile

“ yeah “ she stepped away from you, watching you head for the bathroom and close the door behind you. She ran a hand over her face, a deep sigh shuddering past her lips. What was she doing?

Usually she would’ve kept going. Would’ve happily fucked you and been fine about it. She was no stranger to doing just that and then moving on. But there was something about you. Something about the anger she had felt around Marcus, the jealousy and the possessiveness.

Even the fact that she was still sharing a bed with you. And most nights now she’d wake up to find you pressed against her. Cuddling like a couple as if it were the most normal thing. That she enjoyed waking up to your smile, your eyes. You.

What had you done to her?

“ I think you’re gonna have to go soon “ the realisation of the fact had hit her like a ton of bricks that morning. Or maybe it had been sooner than that and she had been forcing herself to ignore it.

Your lack of reaction told her you probably knew that.

Staying with her had never been a permanent thing. But she felt she was pushing her luck now, the fact you had managed to stay as long as you had was a miracle in itself.

“ they found a whole group of unregistered people in an apartment in area 3 the other day. FEDRAS upping their random checks and… look I’m good at fake papers but they can only do so much. If they find out you’re not a registered citizen they’ll have you up on the gallows before you can even tell them your real name “ she ran a hand over her face with a deep sigh “ and I can’t fuckin see that happen to you sweetheart I can’t “

You didn’t say anything right away, which she hated. It meant that her words hung there in the silence for a little too long. Gave her that minute too long to think about them and wish she could yank them back and shove them back down her throat.

Then your hand tentatively reached out for hers that was on the table, fingers ghosting over her knuckles before gently squeezing in what she assumed was your attempt at reassuring her.

“ I never thought I’d even make it into Boston and with your help I wouldn’t have. I thought you’d kick me out the moment I’d woken up. I never expected you to let me stay as long as you have and put yourself in a position… I’m trying to say thank you I guess. And that… I know… I know you wouldn’t tell me to go unless I really had to “

She glanced up at you and couldn’t quite read the expressions on your face. It annoyed her still. How she couldn’t get a grasp on you, couldn’t get into your head in the way she could with others. But that didn’t matter anymore did it. You were leaving.

“ I know this couple in a town not too far from here. That’s where I was coming from when I found you… Bill and Frank. I spoke to Frank last night on the radio and he said you can go there for a few days. They have more supplies than you can fuckin imagine they’ll give you what you need. Franks real good with the radio he’s gonna listen in, see what he can hear and find you a QZ that’s letting people in “ you nodded and gave her a small smile

“ how do I get there? “

“ I’ll take you “ there was never any question in that. You’d almost died on your way in. Never mind the way out. You nodded, processing the information.

Talking to Frank on the radio the previous night has been hard but now she was discussing with you it made it feel far too real. The stark realisation that you wouldn’t be in the room after tomorrow. You wouldn’t be in her bed, smiling at her when you woke up, loudly commenting on the book you were reading when a character did something you didn’t like. Just your presence .

“ c’mere for a second “ you rose to your feet instantly walking over to her and standing between her legs. She ran her hands gently along your legs and looked up at you, her gaze soft “ I’ll make sure you get there safe. I promise you Bill and Frank will help you out “

You straddled her thighs, looping your arms around her neck and pressing your forehead to hers. It felt too… romantic. Intimate. It felt exactly what she had been so terribly trying to avoid. but maybe she was stupid for ever thinking she could live with you and be around you so constantly and not end up in such a position. You were like a siren luring her in, filling her senses and overwhelming her with desire no matter how hard she attempted to fight it. No one would’ve been able to resist you. No one.

“ I’m gonna miss you “ you whispered, so close your lips brushed hers as you spoke “ I’m gonna miss your stupid face “ Tess chuckled at that.

“ stupid? “

“ mhm. So stupid “

“ so stupid you try kiss me any chance you fuckin get? “ it was the first time you’d both actually mentioned either of the kisses out loud. But she guessed it didn’t matter if it made things awkward now.

You were leaving. What did she have to lose.

“ I have a head injury I don’t think my thought process can be trusted “

“ it can’t “ you twisted a lock of her dark hair around your finger, another thing that felt casually intimate.

“ I guess I cant be blamed then. Cant be blamed for this either “ she refused to let her fears get the better of her that time. Taking the chance whilst she still had it, kissing you back with the same gentleness you were. It felt bittersweet. Nothing could be bad about kissing you, but the knowledge she might never get to kiss you again? That was painful.

“ I’m really gonna miss you “ you whispered once you pulled away, short breaths hitting Tess’ lips.

“ yeah sweetheart. I’ll miss you too “

Tess hadn’t anticipated the heavy feeling in chest on the last night with you in her apartment. Unable to sleep and simply staring up at the ceiling as you lay curled up beside her.

She reminisced on the weeks you’d spent with her. How much you’d managed to wiggle into her heart and make her feel things she thought she’d forgotten.

She felt stupid. But it was okay. You would be gone that time tomorrow, she would drink. She would forget. She would carry on. She would go back to normal. She tried to ignore the small voice in the back of her head telling her that wasn’t what she wanted now. But she had no choice.

She startled as your hand moved, sliding over her arm with a soft sigh

“ cant sleep either? “ she looked down to see your eyes wide awake and watching her. She’d miss the way you looked at her. Admired her. Never afraid.

“ no “ she turned onto her side, reaching out to tuck your hair away from your face “ it’s gonna be weird when you’re gone “ she confessed in a whisper, almost hoping it was too quiet for you to hear. It wasn’t of course.

“ yeah. I got used to looking at your grumpy face everyday “ she huffed a small laugh and rolled her eyes “ maybe I can write or something when I find a new QZ. Send radio messages. I don’t know. Something “

“ yeah. Maybe “ that would only hurt you both more she was certain of it. But she wouldn’t tell you that now. She’d let you hope and think of something good that the future may hold “ do you wanna try get some more sleep? “

“ No I can’t “ you said with a shake of your head and shuffled a little closer to her “ I can think of something to pass the time time though “ Tess smiled and slipped her hand around to the back of your neck

“ funny. So can I “ she pulled you towards her, capturing your lips with hers and pulling a soft sigh from you as she did. She regretted not kissing you more. Regretted not giving in to her thoughts whilst she’d had you, some half ditched attempt to protect herself. As if it still wouldn’t hurt.

You kissed different than anyone else she’d been with. Which sounded cheesy and she felt stupid for thinking it. But it was true. Girls that were being overly dramatic to try and get paid more or girls that were just like her. Lonely and looking for some form of human contact.

But you were… invested. Kissing her like you actually meant it. Tender and careful, soft moans into her mouth that were slowly working her up.

“ I thought of. Of something else. That. We could do. More than…kissing “ you whispered in between soft kisses “ if you want “ she didn’t need to second guess or even give it a single second of thought. You were leaving tomorrow whether she or you liked it or not. So what did she have to lose now? Nothing.

And who was she to deny herself of such pleasure in world full of a whole lot of pain. Especially now. Especially with you.

She pushed at you, placing her body on top of yours and caging your head between her arms, not giving you a second to even attempt to take control from her. Not that she thought she would really. Not when you had been so willing to do as exactly as you’d been told the entirety of your stay with her.

She felt ever so slightly out of practice. It wasn’t a lack of experience, Jesus if anything she had too much experience. Which she wasn’t entirely proud of but who the fuck cared? The world was ending. Had ended. She’d take any small ounce of pleasure she could seek out. You didn’t seem like the type for that. She couldn’t picture you slinking around in the less desirable areas picking up girls just because she wanted something- or rather someone- to do.

No. You seemed too… pure. For that. Tess wasn’t pure. Not at all. But she could pretend. She could pretend if that’s what you wanted. Though she wasn’t entirely sure it was. Not with the way your hands were grabbing at her, hands restless as they slipped under the hem of her shirt to touch her skin.

She kissed you until she had no choice but to pull away to breathe, immediately moving to your neck instead. Your skin was like a blank canvas and she was going to take great joy in marking it.

“ Tess “ you practically whimpered her name, pushing at her tshirt in some silent request to get it off. But she’d be damned if she was gonna let you get her naked first. Her fingers worked at the button up you’d gone to bed in, still working at your neck as she did. She hadn’t really liked the shirt on herself, so had happily let you take it when you’d picked it out. But on you? She almost didn’t want to take it off you completely. There was something about the thought of fucking you in her clothes…

She had to sit up to admire the view, reluctantly detaching her lips from your soft skin.

“ fuck “ she couldn’t help it, it left her mouth without her consent. The sight of you was enough to ruin her for life. Her shirt open and revealing your heaving chest, the blush creeping across your cheeks and the blossoming marks on your neck… oh she was fucked.

She reached out, grabbing at your tits and sighing heavily at how heavenly your body was. You’re back arching into her touch as she moulded the squishy flesh beneath her fingers, dropping her head down again to get her mouth on you too.

She was like a greyhound chasing a rabbit. Tunnel vision and a singular end goal, you the only thing in her sight. In her mind. Desperate to touch and taste and fill her senses with nothing other than you.

“ oh god “ you whined as she flattened her tongue, licking across your nipple and testing your reaction. She knew you’d be whiny. Knew you’d be someone she could work into a whimpering mess with ease.

She had a knack for knowing these things.

“ you’re fuckin beautiful “ she said as she rolled a nipple between her fingers, peppering kisses across your chest as she did “ so fuckin beautiful “ she was stupid to think she’d be able to forget you with a bottle of whiskey. How on earth would she ever get the image of you underneath her out of her mind.

You squirmed around beneath her, small sighs and whimpers escaping past your lips when she grazed her teeth against your skin. Your fingers lacing into her hair and scratching your blunt nails against her scalp.

She didn’t let herself get side tracked for too long, she had an end goal to reach that resulted in her head happily between your thighs. And with the sounds you were already making and the way you were squirming around, she got the picture you were more than ready for that.

She moved back up to be level with your face, kissing you again and letting her hands wander. Mapping out your body with her fingers so she could commit the thought to memory.

“ please Tess. I need you. God I need you just- please “ you whimpered into her mouth, raising your hips up against her in desperation. If you had been anyone else she’d have denied you. Made you beg and edged you until she was bored “ I waited weeks don’t make me wait any longer “

But she couldn’t do that to you. How could she possibly deny you of anything you wanted from her? When you were underneath her looking like that, making sounds like that.

“ weeks huh? “

“ yes “ that made her feel pretty fucking smug. But also made her feel slightly less stupid for… whatever it was she was feeling for you.

So she didn’t waste any time. Moving down your body after another kiss to your swollen lips.

She pulled your underwear down your legs soothing her hands over your thighs before pushing them apart. Making a point to leave the shirt on. Part of her felt like she shouldn’t be rushing. But she was desperate to taste you.

The noise that left your mouth when she parted you with her tongue was heavenly, she felt addicted in an instant. She wanted to hear it again. Over and over. She never wanted to hear a single other sound for the rest of her life. It paired with the look on your face had a small shuddering breath passing her own lips, in complete and utter awe of you.

She had wanted to draw it out, to have you writhing and whimpering and wreck you for anyone else. But the sounds you were making and the blissful look in your eyes… she was desperate to make you come. Desperate to see what you’d look like, what sounds that would draw out of you. Maybe it was a little selfish, but she didn’t care.

Your taste flooded her tongue and she was like a starving woman eating for the first time in days. She was feral.

Her arms looped around your thighs to keep you in place and she went to town. She wanted to feel you coming on her tongue, wanted to see the exact look on your face, know the taste.

She felt like she could stay there for hours. Days. Weeks. Trapped between the pillowy flesh of your thighs, senses flooded with you. Your taste on her tongue, your moans in her ears, soft skin beneath her fingers.

Your fingers pulled at her hair, whining her name in a way that made a smug smile creep its way onto her face.

“ you know it’s… it’s been a while so- “ you attempted to form a sentence, gasping and arching your back in between your words “ I don’t think I’ll last- fuck Tess “ that was practically music to her ears. And a lively boost to the ego that she had you on edge already.

“ that’s okay sweetheart, you wanna come for me? Yeah? “ you eyes were screwed shut and you nodded quickly, pushing her face closer to your cunt again which made her smile “ I got you”

It was only another minute or so until you were pulling almost painfully at her hair, holding on for dear life as you came on her tongue. You were stronger than she’d expected, managing to trap her head with your thighs even with her holding them, keeping her in place until your body went slack and she she came up gasping for air. With the biggest fucking smug grin on her face.

She looked up at you from her spot between your legs, admiring the blissful look on your face, the droplets of sweat along your sternum, her shirt still hanging open on you.

She made her way back up to your lips with a trail of kisses. Wet, soft, open mouthed kisses that made goosebumps rise on your skin.

“ you good? “ she asked, pressing a chaste kiss to your lips

“ good doesn’t even cut it “ she laughed as you beamed a smile, open your eyes to look up at her “ I wanted you to do that after the market “

“ I know you did “ she’d wanted to do it too. But she’d stopped herself like the idiot she clearly was. She moved to lay beside you, still watching you closely. She wanted to remember every detail of you. No matter how painful it would be. She wanted to remember.

“ you know what else I wanna do? “ you said, shuffling closer and trailing your hand along her waist and across the front of her. She grabbed at your hand before you could move it any closer, effectively stopping you in your tracks

“ please let me “ you whispered, eyes wide and glassy looking up at her like she was the last woman on earth. She wasn’t used to being looked at like that. Even with you. Even with you who had never looked at her with anything but some seemingly deep rooted adoration and affection. Never fear.

“ you don’t have to “ it was rare she let anyone reciprocate. She didn’t like the way it made her feel so… exposed. Vulnerable. Like some baby animal being lured into a lions den ready to be mauled to death.

You reached up with your other hand, gently brushing her dark hair away from her face and behind her ear. She didn’t entirely know how to react. She didn’t now what to do with such tenderness. It made her brain flash with an error code like some janky 90s PC. Her mind coming up blank when confronted with such care and compassion.

“ I know I don’t have to. But I want to. Please “ she was used to people wanting to please her. She could have any fucker running doing whatever she asked if she dangled a bag of pills in front of them, like donkeys working for carrots. But someone wanting to please her like that? To give simply because they felt like that, to not expect a single thing in return.

She didn’t know how to respond. Simply looked at you in silence. You seemed to see the cogs coming to a grinding halt in her head, eyes flickering over her face.

“ you’ll let me Tess? “ she still didn’t really now what to say. And it was starting to piss her off. She always knew what to say. She always knew what to do. But not with you.

You pushed lightly at her shoulder, urging her to lay on her back. And to her own surprise she found herself doing it, head falling against the pillow and your face re appearing above hers. That alone felt a little wrong. She never let anyone on top. Ever. Never sacrificed that power to anyone.

“ after all you’ve done for me “ you whispered against her lips, nudging your nose to hers “ you deserve something in return. Let me make you feel as good as you made me feel “ she could feel small tendrils of panic starting to wind their way up into her chest, twisting around her ribs and tightening. So she took back some control, hand slipping to the back of your neck and pulling you down to kiss her as hard as she could manage.

She knew you weren’t about to do anything bad. But it was simply the act of letting someone have her so vulnerable to them. It terrified her.

“ trust me “ you whispered in between kisses “ you trust me don’t you? “

“ yeah “ she surprised herself with how quickly she said it, how unbelievably certain she was of the fact. That she did trust you. In the weeks since you’d woken up she’d grown to trust you as much as she’d trust Joel. Maybe she was stupid for that.

She took a sharp intake of breath as your hand pushed past her underwear, fingers dipping into the wetness between her folds and softly circling her clit.

“ see, you’re wet. Pretty proud of myself for that “ you were trying to lighten the mood and it helped a little. A small smile trying to creep its way onto her face.

She was used to her own fingers and only her fingers. But yours were something else. Those soft gentle hands that she had felt looked so out of place in an apocalypse, felt like velvet. You watched her face intently and she almost felt embarrassed, it was odd for her. To be so exposed and so closely observed.

You slipped your fingers inside of her with ease, her eyes falling closed as she attempted to steady her breathing from the intrusion. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d let someone do that, she’d forgotten how it felt. It was nothing like how it felt to do it herself.

You were reaching places she never could, breathy sounds escaping her even when she tried to stop them.

“ I wish you could see what you looked like right now “ your voice was almost awe filled, like you were simply amazed the sight of her. Maybe you were

“ shut up “ she said, breathless, pulling you down to kiss her again in some attempt to change the subject. Not wanting the attention on herself, sinking her teeth into your bottom lip to make you whimper into her mouth again.

She figured she’d be done just as fast as you had been, especially when you seemed to know exactly where to touch. You hit some place devastating, the tight knot in her belly growing and growing

“ fuck. Stay right fuckin there “ she gasped, fingers gripping your wrist as you did as she’d asked. Focussing on the same spot over and over again. She kept her eyes on you. Kneeling over her, in her shirt, the sight alone was enough to finish her off.

She pulled you down to her mouth again, scared she’d do something embarrassing like make noise, kissing you as she came on your fingers. Holding you firmly in place as her walls convulsed around you and her body rushed with heat, every muscle tensing before going limp and leaving her feeling like a rag doll.

She was breathless as she let you go, her skin on fire and prickling with heat.

“ well fuck me “ she mumbled. Throwing an arm over her eyes for a moment and to her surprise, laughing. You giggled beside her laying down and slinging a leg over hers, both your skins slippery with sweat. But she didn’t care.

“ I just did didn’t I? “ you said in the most innocent tone, simply making her laugh again. You both settled into a comfortable silence then, lazily kissing until you dropped your head.

As you both lay there, your head resting on her chest and hand over her heart, she almost wanted to cry. Which was fucking stupid. She didn’t cry. That wasn’t her.

“ you know you’re still gonna have to leave “ she whispered “ it’s not safe for you to stay here “ she felt your breathing stutter slightly and she knew you were crying. But she didn’t mention it. Didn’t want to embarrass you or risk making herself cry too by acknowledging it “ you know you still have to go “You gave a small nod. You knew. You knew this was always going to be the outcome, both of you did.

“ yeah. I know “ she was silent for a few minutes before gently pushing at your body, urging you to turn on your side. She pressed herself against your back, her arms sliding gently over your waist and her nose nudging lightly at the back of your neck.

“ couple more hours “ she whispered against your skin “ couple more hours. Then I’ll take you to the wall… couple more “ you rested your hand over hers and nodded again, tears welling in her eyes as you did. She refused to let them fall. She wasn’t that pathetic.

“ couple more hours “ you echoed softly, voice barely above a whisper in some attempt to hide the evident crack in your tone as you seemingly failed at keeping the tears in “ just a couple more “

[ravensmadreads]

What Love Means

A/N: so remember when I said I wasn't gonna write again? Yea I'm a lying liar who lied.. anyway, this came from me screaming about my unhinged love for David York to @chronically-ghosted , who then once asked me what I thought love meant to David and the thought sent me in a spiral. It's not really so much a fic as it is a stream of my own consciousness. If anyone cares though, there definitely is a whole fic about these two and their backstory.

Warnings: uhhhh bad writing? So David is probably ooc (but this version of him is my comfort character sorry), description of a panic attack, mentions of canon violence, and like the barest hint at smut.

Taglist: @chronically-ghosted (sorry ily) @fuckyeahdindjarin (i know Dave is not really your thing, but it felt wrong not to tag you- feel free to ignore tho no pressure! )

He gasps awake. Panic creeping slowly at the edges of his consciousness until it lunges and swallows him whole. He's not even sure why. The lingering effect of a nightmare he can't remember anymore. Shadowed figures drenched in blood and violence have been a part of him for so long that it's hard to distinguish the memories from the monsters. He bites his lip to stifle a cry. Fists holding tight onto flowered sheets and jaw clenched tight as he tries to remember to breathe. In and out right? It's simple.

His eyes fall shut as he swallows the bile that threatens to choke him. He's well versed in the art of fighting alone. He's been training for years. They've drilled him so hard, for so long, that he can pick an enemy apart in the dark and not make a sound. His fight or flight has been torn down and beaten until the only option he remembers is fight and win. The voices inside him never rest. Never go quiet. The pressure in his chest tightens. Was breathing always this difficult?

And then.

A movement.

He can't make out the sounds, but he knows someone's coming. His heart is pounding. It's inching closer still. Soft, steady footsteps just on the edges of the room. And yet he can't move. Can't open his eyes. Can't breathe. The voice in his head spits venom: Coward. A thud on his nightstand. A dip as the bed shifts and the world tilts a little.

A gasp that he can't hold back; and suddenly his eyes fly open.

Deep laboured breaths. Blurred vision. Every muscle on high alert. There's someone in front of him. He can't move. Fight or flight? A blink. Fight or flight?! Another gasp. Fight, you coward! But he can't move. Fight! He can't breathe. Would it really be so bad if he stopped?

"Dave!"

****

He blinks. There's another voice now. But it's outside the raging in his head. Outside the voices screaming for blood. It's soft. Softer than anything he knows. Anything he deserves. It's you. He can't make out the words but it's enough.

Another gasp.

Another blink.

You.

A lungul of air.

Inhale. Hold. Exhale.

One more time.

One more time.

One more time.

He's well versed in the art of calming himself down on his own. He doesn't have to though. Not anymore. Not when your arms hold him like he's the most fragile thing in the universe. He'd scoff at the thought if he could breathe.

Inhale. Hold. Exhale.

He can feel again. The tingling in his skin slowly being replaced by soft warmth. Soft lips on the side of his neck. Gentle hands running through his hair. Fistfuls of cotton fabric in his hands. Strands of your hair on his cheek.

Inhale. Hold. Exhale.

Strawberry scented shampoo. Vanilla bean candles from the corner of the night stand. Something inexplicable that he can never name but that he knows is undeniably you.

Inhale. Hold. Exhale.

Whispered assurances in his ear. The gentle hum of the air con. The rain pattering on the window and the wind that's slowly settling down now.

Inhale. Hold. Exhale.

Metal in his mouth because he bit his tongue trying not to scream. The aftertaste of the last cigarette he had before bed.

Inhale.

He can't open his eyes. What if this is the dream? What if he wakes up alone again? Fingers clutching tighter. Nails digging into skin. You feel solid. Warm. Present.

Hold.

His eyes blink open. Starry glow from the nightlight you've turned on. The pulse pounding steadily in your neck. The birthmark in the hollow of your neck.

Exhale.

Is this what relief feels like? What safety means to him now? Does he even deserve a taste of either after all that he has done?

He blinks, and it's you. It's all you. He's surrounded by you. Your scent, your walls, your colours, your skin, your presence. The one holding his hand. The voice in his head. Talking him out of the terror. Walking him out of the darkness. It's you. But then again, it has been you since the moment he fell off of that cliff. The only fragment of his life that remains. The only thing from before that he can hold on to.

Your hands cup his face, and he smiles. It's a small thing. Twists into a grimace far too quickly. He opens his mouth to apologize. For all that he is, all that he can never be, and all the horrors he darkens your doorstep with. For all his scars and all his pain. Even if he does deserve every single one of the demons wreaking havoc in his head and trying to tear him apart from the inside.

But you know him too well. Know what he's thinking. And you're already shushing him before the words can even form on his tongue. Pressing gentle kisses over his forehead. A warm smile and soft eyes staring back at him. He has never known quite what it is you see in him. Has tried to convince you of the monster that resides within, but you refuse to acknowledge his self flagellation anymore.

He grabs you tighter and starts to lie back down. Your heart beat against his racing one. Your arms around his neck. Inhale. Hold. Exhale. Maybe he can pretend. Just for a minute. That he's someone worth saving. That he's someone worth loving? He falls before he can finish the thought.

****

He wakes up in your arms. It startles him. The normalcy. The state of nothing. He's not used to silence. Not the comfortable kind anyway. If ever there's silence with him around, it either beckons death or follows it. And he's been drilled in the art of war for as long as he can remember.

He's not entirely sure what to do now. With hands on soft skin. A quiet mind. Who is he when the sun comes up? In the gentle breeze of dawn? When there's no list of names waiting to be scratched off; and when the sun filtering through the curtains chases away any shadows where monsters like him may lurk. When your breath tickles his neck and he can wake you with gentle hands and small kisses.

"Hey." A hand through his hair. "You okay?"

Trust you to start worrying about him the minute you wake up. He smiles, and it's a genuine one this time. The muscles in his face ache from disuse. He's been smiling more and more now, even if it feels unreal, like a skin he's trying to put on. You've been relentless in chasing them out anyway, and he's still surprised every time he finds a reason to smile.

He doesn't really remember what happiness feels like anymore. Small echoes of it maybe. From a distant past. Of army buddies laughing in the trenches, two little girls giggling around him, a leader that felt like an anchor and a mentor who felt like family- now all gone; too quickly, too violently - he shakes his head. It doesn't matter anymore. You're all the reason he needs now.

****

There's a word on the tip of his tongue. It lingers there. Quiet. Subtle. Just a little bit out of reach. It comes to him in the quiet moments. When your hand is in his hand, your head on his chest. When you listen to music and he pretends that he's not watching the dimple in your cheek. When you sway as you cook a meal and he forgets to remember that he's forgotten how to smile.

It comes to him in other moments. When he's on top of you, surrounding you, clinging to you. When your eyes are on his, your nails leaving delicious marks on his back. When your hands pull his hair and the only word you speak is a quiet and reverent David. He has always hated his name, but he's learning to crave the way you say it when you're overwhelmed by him.

It comes to him in the afterglow. Lingers on the edge of his consciousness. With your hand over his heart, his arms wrapped tight around you and his lips on yours. He's sinking into sleep. The warm embrace doesn't scare him any longer because no monsters in his head could never win against the light in your soul. He reaches out to hold it, that word, the one word he never had, just as his eyes flutter shut. He smiles into the kiss. He'll tell you tomorrow. You'll understand. You probably already know. You're the reason that word exists after all. And he knows you'll keep it for him until the day he dies.

Safe.

[silverzoomies]

Maternal

kai anderson x reader smut

chapter 2: glass

warnings: female reader, mommy kink (not age play), manipulation, oral sex, fingering, masturbation, cults, kissing, maternal instinct, rough sex, smut, kai anderson is his own warning

word count: 3053

a/n: first chapter i kinda goofed off the whole time writing it. this time around ?? it's harder to be silly when shit's a little too serious. whoopsie !! sorry, this kinda takes a fucked up turn. uhhhhhhhhhhhh apologies for shitty writing and ooc kai but ty for readin' anyways if you do. if you don't ?? bitch i don't fuckin' blame you ✌️✌️✌️

chapter 1 here.

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After Kai took Winter’s life, any sense of hope left lingering within your soul disintegrated. If you could disappear off the face of the Earth then, to some far reaches of the universe; you would have done so in an instant.

You were so far beyond emotionally broken. Mental exhaustion and anguish unlike any you’d ever felt in your entire life dragged you onwards. Pulled in a ruthless, brutal tug by your ankles through normality; you kept going. Maybe everything that happened was, in some way, your own fault. You did spend too much of your precious time trying to rationalize every fucked up, morbid thing Kai ever did. And at any moment, you could have reported him to the authorities.

But you didn’t.

And now? You’d lost the one and only best friend you had in your lonesome life as an adult. Never again would you hear her laugh. Never again would you see her smirk with that sleepy-eyed gaze, her eyelids darkened with heavy eyeshadow. And no longer would you listen, as Winter ranted to you those politics you couldn't care the least bit about. But still loved hearing all the same. She was gone. And you’d give anything to have her back, even for one more day. At least, just to say – I’m so fucking sorry.

It didn’t surprise you in the least when Kai finally ended up in prison. That’s where he needed to be, after all. News outlets and social media sites covered his story in mass. Serving as grim reminders of all the atrocities he committed in his search for world domination. You avoided it all to the best of your ability, choosing to remain as ignorant as humanly possible. Knowing he killed Winter was enough. You didn’t need any further heartbreak.

Standing in your kitchen as you dried off a washed wine glass; you heard a noise. It was late. A little past 3:30 AM. A gentle bump rang out somewhere at the other side of your dimly lit apartment. Ignoring the sound, you moved onto another glass.

You were much too beat-down and numb to worry yourself over harmless noises.

The glass in your hands shattered upon impact, as it hit the hardwood floor below you. Sharp, crystal-like pieces flew in every direction, showering the floor. Leaving subtle scratches in their wake.

The glass had slipped from your hands, your grip falling loose as you jumped with a panicked shriek. Because before you, as if he’d never left for prison at all, was Kai. A face you found too familiar, yet somehow, so unfamiliar all the same.

In his gaze, he carried not an ounce of emotion. His eyes were nothing but a toxic abyss of emptiness. Sunken bags held with a heavy weight under those eyes. Once upon a time, you’d raked your fingers through the faded, blue strands of his hair. But at this moment, they were absent. His head was shaved to a clean buzz. Maybe, if you fooled yourself enough, you could pretend this Kai was his more deranged, evil twin.

You were petrified, frozen in place like a victim turned to stone under Medusa’s gaze.

Wordlessly, you let your eyes drop to the odd tattoo etched into his chest. It peeked out from the dirty, prison clothes he wore. They were tattered, and torn in a few places. When you let your eyes drift even further down, you noticed Kai wasn’t wearing any shoes. Squinting, you found you could make out another tattoo marked on his foot. “Motherland” was all it said. And on his arms, were a few others…of a more, morally questionable nature. Ah. So, he really did go off the deep end. Lovely.

Kai said nothing, but slowly raised his arms. He kept a blank, lifeless look upon his face. And step by steady step, he approached you. Your heart leapt in alarm, and you sucked in a harsh breath. You found yourself gasping even louder at the sound of glass shards crunching under his bare feet. On instinct, without thinking, you reached out a hand in concern.

“Careful!” You cried. Tears began to pool at the corners of your eyes.

Kai didn’t stop. He only kept moving closer. Even as the glass under his feet surely pierced his skin, Kai went on. He loosely wrapped his arms around you, pulling you in close. In doing so, you accidentally slid your own foot forward. A chip of glass almost sliced through your own foot, but you noticed just in time to avoid it. Even still, you yelped a high-pitched squeak of a noise. He didn’t react in any way to it. He didn't seem to react to anything.

Kai dropped his nose to your shoulder, clenching his teeth hard. And you felt the tiniest, wet tear drop hit your skin. Why in the hell was he crying? No way he felt real, human remorse, right?

He mumbled quietly to himself several words and phrases you could barely hear or even make out. Your ear caught only a few: “ I have to kill her. ” “ I’m gonna fucking kill her. ” “ Can’t trust women. ” “ Can’t ever trust women. ” “ Better off putting my faith in men, and men alone. ”

There was another phrase he said. Something in Latin, from what you vaguely picked up. But you couldn’t begin to understand what it meant. And you didn't care enough to ask. You didn't want to know.

Your blood ran cold at the mortifying thought that Kai might’ve been referring to you. From what you understood, you’d never given him a single reason to kill you. You never told anyone about the unconventional relationship you shared with him. And no one had any idea that you even knew Kai. You’d been questioned on Winter’s exploits one or two times; but you never gave them anything substantial.

You wondered if Kai’s delusions or hallucinations were driving him down his murderous path. If maybe they were, in some way, influencing him to kill you.

Shaking like a leaf where you stood, you brought your arms carefully upwards. And you pulled Kai even closer. One of your hands rested at the back of his head. You dragged a thumb gently across the buzzed hairs dusting his neck. His shoulders seemed to relax then.

You took a slow, deep breath.

“W-Who do you have to kill, honey?”

You knew the obvious waver in your voice gave away how terrified you really were. But you feigned your affection regardless.

“Some dumb bitch.” Kai mumbled, “She’s the one who put me in prison. She can’t be proud of herself for that, mama. She thinks she did the world a fucking favor? Puttin’ me away? Thought she could move on, and leave me to rot there? She fucked up.” He huffed, shaking his head where it lay on your shoulder, “I built an army there. A better army. So much fucking stronger.”

Kai lifted his head, and his eyes met yours.

An ache of grief pained your chest and squeezed your heart in a cruel grip.

Kai’s eyes were dead and empty as they stared into yours. He looked entirely absent of any human feeling. A harsh redness at the corners of his eyes met the dark rings around them. And in a split-second’s thought, you wished you could go back in time. Just to see the sad, doe-like, brown eyes of Kai from almost four years ago.

Just to see Winter. You missed Winter so dearly.

Kai’s speech slurred as he spoke, as if he’d grown considerably more tired since he walked in. Which he probably had. Maybe breaking out of prison and racing to the house of your metaphorical, surrogate mother/lover took a lot out of a convict. His head fell forward, his forehead pressing into yours. As Kai held you, the two of you swayed, almost losing balance.

“Built it for you, mama…” He murmered, “All of it. You still proud ‘a me?”

For a moment, you hesitated to respond.

“I-I am.” Thick tears drifted down your cheeks, “Always have been. Even now.”

Kai looked deep into your eyes, as though searching for any hint of dishonesty. His void-like gaze dropped to your lips then. And he leaned closer, stale breath meeting yours. A sudden instinct of fight or flight blared at you in extreme panic. It urged you to step away. To run away. To flee. Get the fuck outta dodge and never look back.

Fight or flight failed, and freeze ultimately took over. And you were left glued in place where you stood.

“You’re gonna see…” Kai whispered, his lips almost meeting yours, “I’m gonna show the whole world, mama. Gonna prove it to all those women…”

What exactly was he referring to? You had not a single clue. You found yourself too distracted by the rapid pounding of your heart. And the nauseating twist in your gut. Kai captured you in a messy kiss, and you didn’t return it. He pushed you backwards into one of the kitchen counters, his feet sliding along sharp, shards of glass. A pained huff of air exhaled from his mouth and brushed your lips.

Kai grabbed the sides of your arms, gently at first.

But when he found you didn’t reciprocate his kiss, he dug his nails roughly into your skin. The gesture stung with enough bite to make you squeal in response to the pain. And the instant you opened your mouth, he swallowed down the noise. Kai’s tongue found your own, his tasting of something vile. With a hint of nicotine.

And despite everything. Despite the spine-curling terror infecting your body like an airborne virus. Despite the obvious, moral dilemma that came with reciprocating a disturbed lunatic’s advances. Despite everything you knew, everyone you grieved over, and all you tried time and time again to forget.

Some small, fucked up, warped part of you still cared for Kai. You always would. You were whipped till the fucking end.

Kissing him back was the ultimate betrayal against everyone he’d ever hurt. Winter was probably looking down on you with heartbroken disdain.

And as soon as you kissed him back, Kai moved again. He lifted you up onto the countertop without separating your connected lips. You draped your arms over his shoulders and around his neck, inching him closer. Kai kissed you deeply for what felt like both a bittersweet eternity, and a single second in time.

His lips left yours, puffy and red. A trail of saliva kept the two of you connected for a short moment. Hot breaths meeting in close huffs. You pulled your hands from around his neck and brought them to his cheeks, cradling his face. You pressed your forehead to Kai's, looking into his eyes. And you whispered to him honest, but exceptionally forbidden words.

“D-Don’t…tell anyone…” You sniffled, “But…I missed you so much…my sweet ba-”

Your shameful confession was silenced when Kai kissed you again. A hungry, wet, mouthy kiss kept you distracted. Enough that you almost didn’t notice his large hands sneaking their way down your sides. Kai made out with you as though he couldn’t get enough of your taste. As though this were the last time he'd ever get to kiss you. And more than likely, it was. His hands at your sides grasped the fabric of your tank top, tugging on it.

"You really proud 'a me, mama?" He slurred.

"Of course." You whispered into his lips, "Of course I am." A lie.

Following his motions, you raised your arms. And he slipped your tank top over your head. It landed somewhere on the floor amongst the shattered glass. The cool temperature of the kitchen sent goosebumps erupting across your skin. And as you shivered, your nipples hardened. Kai ducked down to kiss across your chest, nipping along the way. His teeth sank into your skin, each bite leaving a stinging, red mark behind in his wake. Marks you'd most definitely look back at later, only to feel a sinking pit of guilt in your stomach.

Kai palmed and squeezed at one of your breasts. Rough fingertips brushed over one of your nipples. And as he felt your tits under his palm, he sighed a soft sound. Kai's lips, swollen and chapped, suckled on the nipple of your other breast. Gentle suckling with delicate flicks of his tongue quickly turned aggressive. You bit your lip between your teeth, whimpering from deep in your throat as he sucked your tit hard. 

You assumed, knowing Kai, that this fling (if one can even call it that) would end the same as any other. He'd built up a hell of a tradition with you, after all. No doubt in your mind, Kai was going to eat your pussy until you came buckets around his face. He'd kiss you again, praise you again, then leave you behind to feel nothing but shame. And you were certain that this time, when he left, he'd never come back. Fifty-fifty shot. Either arrested or killed.

But he didn't sink any lower. Kai came back up from his titty feast to meet your eyes again. His own were darkened with a black mix of melancholy and lust. You were then pulled into another heated kiss, and it tasted just as unpleasant as the last few. Somehow, you found you could tolerate it. Only because you wanted to cherish every, last piece of intimacy Kai had to offer. Just to remember what it used to feel like. He reached for your sleep shorts, tugging them down your thighs along with your panties.

After dropping them to the floor, Kai moved to fumble with his tattered, prison pants. And you didn't get a single second to prepare yourself, before the leaking tip of his cock prodded at your exposed entrance. Kai gave you no warning as he jerked his hips forward, driving his cock into your cunt. Your walls resisted, squeezing to try and push him out. But he buried himself to the hilt, bottoming out inside you with a brusing force.

"Fuck-" He softly groaned, "Your pussy's fucking tight, mommy."

You squealed an embarrassing, pathetic noise. One that rose from your throat and met Kai's tongue. He concealed the sound with his lips to yours, sloppily kissing you as he rutted his hips. The thick length of Kai's cock pumped the walls of your pussy in an unmerciful rhytmn. You balanced yourself with a hand to the countertop, your other scratching lines into the back of Kai's neck. He pulled you closer, throwing one of your legs over his shoulder. With deeper access, his cock stretched you open wide.

Kai was an impossibly tight fit, and the thickness of him made your cunt leak around his length. Every soft grunt and whimper erupting off his lips sent a pleasurable tickle to your core. You held eye contact with Kai, your eyelids hanging low. His own did the same. And with each harsh slap of his pelvis to your clit, pleasure consumed your mind and body. A familiar, blissful warmth tightened within your core.

"J-Just like that, sweet boy." You cried, "You're doin' so good, honey."

"Gonna fuckin' cum, mama."

"Me too, baby-oh~!-me too."

He dropped his head to your shoulder, biting you hard. Muffled groans vibrated along the dampness of your neck. As Kai pressed wet kisses there, you cried out. The vigorous pace of his cock meeting your cervix hit you so deep. Shuddering, your cunt squeezed him even tighter. You choked out more broken whines, and came with a wet gush of your slick around Kai's cock. At the very second you hit climax, Kai did as well. An insane and disturbed killer spilled his hot, thick warmth deep into your pussy. And you loved every second of it.

Again and again, Kai kissed you. His tongue swirled with desperate need for yours, and you kissed him back. Breathing soft, exhausted breaths through your nose. Kai's soaked cock slipped out from inside you, and he tucked himself back into his pants. The sound of glass crunching pulled you straight out of your orgasmic haze. Kai stepped back, still unbothered by the glass under his feet. He looked you over, his breathing ragged. His gaze like the emptiest of black voids.

You sat up on the countertop, hissing as an ache swarmed over your entire body. Bite marks and hickies littered your once clean skin. And a warm thickness leaked slowly from your pulsing cunt.

Tilting your head, you eyed Kai. Anticipating his next move. Uncertain as to where things were supposed to go from here.

Narrowing his eyes, Kai whipped his head around suddenly. He stared off at a corner of the room, as if catching something (or someone) there. You wondered if it was another hallucination. Because whatever he saw, he seemed to listen to it. Kai dropped his head, his eyes darting around at the glass on the floor. Silence ticked by in slow, agonizing seconds. And in your waiting, you felt as though the room somehow grew colder. You wrapped your arms around yourself for warmth.

Kai darted his head up, looking at you as though frightened and alarmed.

"Wait for me." Was all he said.

You nodded, lowering yourself off the counter and to the floor. As you stumbled on aching legs, he reached out to steady you. You were careful not to step on any stray glass, and you brought your hand to Kai's cheek.

"I'll always be here for you, sweet baby."

His gaze dropped to the floor again. And for a moment, he chewed his lip in thought. Another few seconds of silence passed, and Kai's lip stained with blood. He slowly walked away without another word, trailing blood under his feet across your floors. Before he left, he took one, last look at you.

And for a millisecond, you saw him. The Kai you met four years ago. The Kai who'd been sitting on the couch at Winter's with his head in his hands. So sad. And so pathetic. Baby boy.

But in an instant, soullessness overshadowed any inkling of who he used to be. You were reminded again. He was a cold-blooded killer. 

Kai left you behind.

And he never came back.

[ddazzlingblds]

Something about that old headcanon is that I find the mental image of a shirtless, bloody Sampo just lighting a cigarette for himself and chilling with the warehouse burns behind him very soothing. Very nice to think about.

[extravalgant]

'for the dead are changless' aka the wizdyv fluff i always promised but never followed up on. UNTIL NOW summary: He could still feel the ghostly imprints of your fingers on his skin, kissed by the warmth of your body. You were checking his pulse. You were checking his pulse. words: 2144 warnings: no warnings. free range wizdyv fluff babey. except maybe some ooc-ness. please mind that 🛐

read on a03

"What does shadow magic feel like?" 

You can tell Dyvim is curious—just by the way his voice tilts in a certain way. He's not afraid, no; just cautious of what is to come. You avoid his gaze anyways, swallowing down the hard lump of guilt that suddenly manifests in your throat.

You've been avoiding his gaze for days by this point. You think yourself clever, but you know Dyvim; you know that this is his way of getting you to open up. You two had not spoken about what had happened at the Queen's hive, of what you two had lost and subsequently regained, but the relief of his return is palpable in the air. 

He would be a fool not to have noticed the way your fingers curl underneath his jaw, light as the morning's dew, and press gently against the pulse along his neck. You do this when you think he's sleeping, but he's a light sleeper, now—awake even at the slightest snap of a branch, at the mere suggestion that something may be moving in the dark. 

The first time you had done it had been after his revival—when you had taken the first shift, when he slowly fell into a dreamless sleep. He didn't know what to expect, but the sensation of your hand had not been one of them. 

Your fingers were warm against the jugular of his throat, and something in his chest squeezed at the thought; of the implications your actions held. His pulse was warm and hearty, thrumming strongly against the pads of your fingertips, and after a few beats of silence, he felt your hand slide away. 

He could still feel the ghostly imprints of your fingers on his skin, kissed by the warmth of your body. You were checking his pulse. You were checking his pulse. 

The affection he had been careful to tuck underneath his armor, between the smooth, metal ridges, suddenly can't help but bloom without warning. 

"It's different from other magic,” you say, bringing Dyvim back to this moment in time. He hadn't even realized the two of you had fallen silent until you had spoken. Your voice was soft, as it always was with him, as you shuffle your spell cards. They make a soft, satisfying hiss as they slide against one another, glittering low in the light. It reflects off of your face, washing your plaintive expression in a wash of bright, warm gold. 

“In what way?” he asks, his eyes round with genuine interest. Magic was never his strong suit, and it seemed so… finicky at times. It was hard to rely on something that had the possibility of failing you in the most crucial of moments. 

“It's colder than light magic,” you said, tucking the cards back into your deck, before slotting it onto your side. You slot your fingers together, resting your elbows on your thighs, before leaning forward. 

Yes, your hands had felt cold, hadn't they? He could feel it the other night, when you had done your usual rounds. Watched him breathe long and slow, like he savored every breath. 

“It is?” He blinks. “I had no idea magic was warm.” 

“Not… necessarily,” you reply, and allow the tendrils of magic to dance across your skin. To the denizens of this world, magic was a wonder to behold; a weapon wielded against darkness. The responsibility you have is not lost on you. “Light magic doesn't feel like anything, its just… shadow magic that feels colder in comparison. It feels like… cracking an egg over your head.” 

Dyvim smiles, a laugh passing through his lips without a second thought. He didn't expect a metaphor like that, but it made it easier to imagine. 

“Does it?” He says, with a hint of a smile tracing the edges of his words. His eyes crinkle with amusement. “I don't believe you.” 

“We could always get an egg and find out,” you suggest with a tease, until the soft warmth of your conversations silts through the silence, and you go back to being you. Not ‘The Wizard’—but you. 

His spellbinder—the one with the sad eyes and the kind smile. Everything about you is so kind, he thinks. 

“I’ll take your word for it,” he muses gently, and the smiles he receives in reply is enough to make his heart squeeze in his chest. 

He watches the firelight dance across your face. It dips wonderfully into all your crevices—the softness of your cheeks, curving underneath your eyes, against the slope of your face. 

But in your eyes, something lingers. Something that’s been there long before Dyvim had shown up. He wasn’t one to pry—you two had not known each other for long, and he felt it would be rude to ask about things that weren’t his business. He understood it, in a way. He’d rather not linger on things that happened in the past, not when their future finally seemed so bright. 

And not when the reason for that brightness was sitting right next to him.

“I’m sorry.”

Crack. 

The flame splits the kindle once more. It sways and dances, making the shadows dance along the ground in a graceful dance. Dyvim blinks, surprised at the sudden apology. “Sorry? What for?” 

“I got you killed,” you reply, your voice raspy with raw emotion. Like the words were sandpaper, and you were dragging them out of your throat. 

Ah, his… death. It’s with a shameful flush that he realizes, that the wizard must have been worried about him. 

“I knew full well what I was getting into, spellbinder.” Dyvim soothes. “Rather—it’s me who should be apologizing to you. I hadn’t meant to worry you like that.”

You suck in a soft breath, and let it exhale slow and gently from your mouth. His words release the knot of tension that had been lingering in your chest, unraveling it into fine, thin strands. 

“You’re alive,” you whisper. You resist the urge to reach out, to grab his hand and intertwine it with yours. To feel the thrum of his pulse fluttering underneath your palm. “And that’s all that matters.” 

The smile comes to him easily—something he felt only you were capable of bringing out of him, in these times of war. 

The guilt lessens, but not by a whole lot. It was true that you had felt guilty for a long time after his death, unable to even listen to your superiors without a scathing retort ready at the handle. They deserved every bit of it, and thensome. 

Dyvim didn’t. Dyvim didn’t deserve anything that happened to him. 

“I-I’m sorry, too, for—” The words spill out of your mouth, clumsy and awkward. “—For learning shadow magic.” 

The words hang in the air, amidst the quiet ambience of their camp for the evening. It’s not the sort of thing Dyvim was expecting, leading him to blink slowly, silently, at the wizard.

He… doesn’t know how to respond to that, frankly. It’s true that the wizard’s spells look different, feel different, but he had never thought of it anything beyond that. The fact that they were apologizing meant that they felt they did something wrong. 

But, there it is—the shine of guilt, lingering in your eyes. Glossing over the whites of your eyes, making them shimmer like glass. Dyvim feels his shoulders sag, just slightly, as his voice softens—only for you. “Oh, spellbinder…” 

And you? You can’t take that. With only two words, he’s knocked down your walls completely. Your eyes burn, nose stinging, as you reach up to blink away the tears. 

You can feel it—his pulse, lingering with yours, as his hand circles your wrist; he gently tugs it downwards, and you let him, allowing him to see the fruits of your labor. Your lower lashline, dotted with tears, and quiet little sobs that break his heart. 

“I didn’t mean,” you gasp out, the words stilted and disjointed. “to disappoint you. To disappoint—everyone.” 

“Where did you get that idea?” Dyvim whispers back, running a thumb gently over the seam of your wrist, where your heartbeat flutters underneath his touch. 

“It’s forbidden,” you say, your voice gravely. The words grate in your throat, uncovering the shame and guilt you had been carrying all this time, on your own. “Shadow magic is forbidden, and it’s caused… so much grief and sorrow. To you, to—to everyone else—” 

“Spellbinder,” Dyvim says, softly, and your body shudders in response. How could he say your name with such softness? You were not soft at all. You were hard at the edges, tightly coiled and ready to spring at a moment’s notice. Ready to defend the spiral. 

He doesn’t say anything else, but allows you to cry if need be. Had this been several weeks ago, a part of you would have been mortified at the idea of crying so openly in front of another person. But weeks ago Dyvim wasn’t alive—he was still encased in amber by that point, lost to the world, and you had been forced to pick up the scattered pieces and run. 

“I’m not angry at you, spellbinder,” Dyvim says, the lilt of his tone warm and gentle, voice dipping down into a soothing hush. “And I do not blame you for learning shadow magic.” 

When he reaches out, this time, it’s to take your hands gently into his own. The contrast in temperatures surprises you, the warmth of his palms seeping into your skin. The shadow had taken that from you, as well—the warmth of your own body. 

"Morganthe has done a lot to hurt my people," He says, and his voice trembles with an anger, a despair, that you recognize. The unfairness of it all, the dawning realization that you lost; that for the moment, evil had triumphed over good. Dyvim’s voice softens as he brushes his thumbs over your knuckles. "But you… you have done nothing wrong."

I have, you think, almost helplessly. Dyvim looks at you like you’ve personally hung the stars—and for him, you might. 

"You have undone some of the hurt that has been inflicted upon us for centuries, and, for the first time, I feel… hopeful."

Dyvim looks into your eyes as he says this, eyes pooling with an adoration you hadn't seen in a long, long time. A small, bitter part of you says you don't deserve it. You swallow it down, letting it drop into your stomach like a stone.

"You make me feel hopeful, spellbinder."

Truly, you don’t know what to make of that. You’re no saint, you know this—but he’s so earnest, it’s hard to disagree with him. You open your mouth to reply, but when it’s clear that nothing is going to come out, you close it. You can feel his hands squeezing yours gently, as if saying, take your time.

So you cry. 

Your face warms as you cry, letting the thick globs of tears track down your face, sniffling with each sob that leaves your lips. You don’t remember the last time you’ve cried, but it had to have been a while ago, because you can’t stop. And when one of your hands pulls away from his, to reach up to wipe away the tears with the back of your hand, his arm reaches out to circle your shoulders, and tuck you against his armor. 

“You’re safe here, spellbinder,” he whispers. “Let it all out.” 

He tells you to mind all the cold, metal parts of his armor, but you don’t care. You tuck your face against his shoulder, and let the sobs shudder through your body. Your tears twinkle like stars as they quietly plop onto his armor, as his other hand dips up and down your back in a gentle, soothing motion. 

Frankly, it’s one of the best hugs you have ever received. It’s probably one of the only hugs you have ever received, since you had stepped foot in the spiral.

"I'm sorry you had to see me like this," your voice crackles, choking on the emotion lodged in your throat.. "I know how much everyone looks up to me. I don't want to seem weak…"

"Allowing yourself to be comforted is not weak, spellbinder." Dyvim chastises lightly, for your own good. "I feel honored you were even willing to divulge this side of vulnerability to me."

"You're special," you reply, not even attempting to hide your favoritism towards him. 

For some reason, this surprises him. “Am I?” He asks. “More special than anyone else?” 

You nod. “More special than anyone else.” 

You feel him tuck his cheek against the top of your head, and feel the soft inhale and exhale of his breath. 

“In all of the spiral?” He asks, his voice quieter. 

“In all of the spiral.” 

[ddazzlingblds-archive]

regarding the latest video about H:SR:

SAM FROM THE STELLARON HUNTERS HAS BEEN REVEALED AND HE'S NOT FUCKING SAMPO

[misc-obeyme]

hi! i really liked (Solomon's Kindness) *^^*

can you do for solomon x reader's first date going to aquarium with mc who loves whales/dolphins fluffy fic ?

thanks! keep going with your writings ^v^~

Hi, anon!

Thank you for the request, I'm so glad you're enjoying my writing!

I really liked writing this! Hopefully Solomon isn't too OOC here, it ended up really fluffy. I couldn't help myself! Anyway, I hope you like it!

Solomon x GN!MC

Warnings: None!

You didn't exactly keep your love of whales and dolphins secret, but it also wasn't something you talked about a lot. Which meant that someone would need to know you pretty well to notice this preference of yours without you telling them. A notebook with a whale on the cover, a little dolphin key chain attached to your bag - the signs were certainly there, but they were small. Only someone observant would notice it.

This is why it came as a surprise when Solomon asked you to go on a date with him to the aquarium. He stated specifically that there was one in the human world featuring dolphins that he wanted to take you to.

"How did you know I like dolphins?" you had asked him.

Solomon smiled and tugged gently on the dolphin key chain on your bag. "Did you think I didn't notice?"

You realized in that moment that he had been paying attention to you. Enough to know that you would enjoy such an excursion.

Now you were standing beside him in a large, beautiful aquarium. You had come at a time that wasn't busy. There were only a few people milling about here and there, so it felt like you had the entire aquarium to yourselves.

The first area you found yourselves in was set up like a dark cavern. The lights were practically non-existent and the walls were grayish blue. Every few feet, however, there would be a circle of bright colorful light. Round tanks that held swarms of jellyfish dotted the area.

Solomon waved a hand and it was as though the jellyfish swam right out of their tanks, swirling around you in rainbow colors. You knew it was a magical illusion, but you were amazed as always at Solomon's skill.

You laughed in delight. "They're so cute!"

Solomon's eyes were soft as he smiled. "So are you."

You felt the hint of a blush rise to your cheeks, but the room was dark and you hoped he couldn't see it.

You emerged from the darkness and found yourselves in a large area full of tanks. You moved from tank to tank, reading the information about the inhabitants. As it turned out, Solomon knew quite a lot about fish and marine habitats. He would start talking about them at length, almost lecturing you about the habits of various fish and marine plants. Then he would catch himself and apologize for talking so much.

It was actually really adorable, so you started deliberately asking him questions about things to see if you could get him talking again. It worked the first few times you did it, but then he caught onto you.

Eventually you found yourselves in a room where the entirety of one wall was a massive tank. Here you could see dolphins swimming through the bright blue water. You stood in front of the tank together, watching them play.

"This aquarium specializes in dolphin rehabilitation," Solomon said. "That's why I wanted to bring you here. These dolphins were found injured or sick. They were brought here so they could recover. Once they're well again, they'll be released back out into the wild."

"That's amazing," you said, moving closer to the tank glass. "They're beautiful. I'm so glad someone is taking care of them."

Solomon took your hand. "There's more, come on."

He pulled you into the next section, which was like a tunnel with a tank on both sides as well as overhead. Swimming by and around were all kinds of creatures - sharks, large fish, stingrays, and sea turtles. Light shone through the water, creating ripple effects on the floor and walls.

You were entranced by the beauty of this area, taking your time passing through the tunnel into another large room. On one side was a continuation of the tank from the tunnel. Across from there you saw the other side of the dolphin tank.

Standing in the middle of this room, surrounded by the light and water on all sides, you tried to take it all in.

"It's like I'm standing in the middle of the ocean," you said, your voice quiet with awe.

Solomon still held your hand and he squeezed it. "I thought you would like it."

You turned to him, smiling happily. "I love it, Solomon. Thank you for bringing me here."

Solomon's eyes widened a bit. He turned to you, reaching up with the hand that wasn't holding yours and placing it gently on your cheek. "I would do anything to see that expression on your face, MC."

You blushed, not just at his words, but at his close proximity. You were struck by the way the light from the tanks sparkled in his eyes and hair. He looked like he was alight with magic, glimmering with feeling.

You felt yourself move closer to him, as though something tugged gently on your heart. You took one step forward and there was no more space between you.

Solomon put his other hand on the other side of your face, cradling your cheeks as he pressed a kiss to your lips. Your hands came up to rest on his chest as you leaned into him.

This moment passed by so quickly, but it was one you would hold in your heart forever.

When you returned to the House of Lamentation, all the demons brothers had questions about where you were. But you decided to keep your first date with Solomon all to yourself.

Nobody else seemed to notice the new dolphin key chain attached to your bag. But sometimes Solomon would tug gently on it and smile at you, not saying a word. And you would blush and smile back as you both remembered the kiss you shared among the dolphins.

masterlist | Thank you for reading!

[nxmuzluv]

“birthday girl” | a.p x b.t

characters: ariana park, byakuya togami (oc x canon)

game: danganronpa 1 (non-despair au)

genre: fluff thru and thru,, it’s literally so disgusting /j like they seriously act like they’ve been married for 20 years it’s that sickeningly sweet SMDWKNDS

warnings: none ! (although byakuya may or may not be ooc ?? girl honestly idk atp)

summary: september 1st. another year, another birthday. as byakuya and ariana take an out of the blue trip halfway across the world, the former has something special to give to the birthday girl

a/n: happy birthday to my pookie, ariana park ! everything i’ve tried to write for her birthday in the last 2 years has been ass, so hopefully this one turns out okay WISJJSNS (also writing byakuya is so hard like it’s been 3 years it shouldn’t be this damn difficult ????)

ariana stared out onto the crystal blue ocean, feeling so tranquil that she wondered if she ever felt so good. a breeze blew through, pushing her dyed blonde hair back. it was cool against her warm-to-the-touch skin, making her sigh with content.

september 1st. her birthday. her 28th birthday. and a lot has happened since her 27th. she had two children, for one, two children who were a month away from turning one. a myriad of thoughts ran rampant throughout her mind (one being that she was two years away from being thirty years old), and the sound of the waves practically carried her away. ariana was so content, however, that she didn’t even realize that her husband was right behind her.

byakuya took his wife by her hand, spun her around, and held her close. ariana playfully rolled her eyes in response.

“hi, sweetie.” she said, her voice flat but clipped with the loving tone she always used. byakuya responded in kind, and ariana let out another breath, wrapping her arms around byakuya’s frame and leaning her head against his shoulder.

“you almost made me trip, you know.” ariana continued, her voice muffled by byakuya’s shoulder. byakuya couldn’t help but chuckle.

“sorry, love.” he responded, running a hand up and down the small of ariana’s back.

ariana reached down to grab her husband’s hand, taking his fingers in between her own before intertwining them like she always did. “you better be.” she said.

byakuya smiled at her words, something he rarely did while out in public. “i said this already, but happy birthday, love.”

“thank you, baby.” ariana responded, pulling away shortly after. the sun was beginning to get a little too overbearing for such a long hug. “i can’t even begin to describe how good this feels. when was the last time we even did something like this, darling?”

ariana tried to wrack her own brain, but came up with nothing. hopefully it wasn’t early onset dementia or something of the sort.

“it was right before we got married, ariana.” byakuya said, giving his wife the answer she was looking for. the woman in question let out a huff, rolling her brown eyes at her forgetfulness.

“duh.” she said, and it was like she sounded eighteen all over again.

even though ariana had pulled away from byakuya just moments ago, she couldn’t help but force him to close the distance between them yet again, softly grabbing him by the wrists and making him wrap his arms around her torso.

“it’s incredibly hot out here, love.” byakuya said. even with his words, however, he couldn’t bring himself to pull away. ariana was his wife, after all, and it was also her birthday.

“i don’t care.” ariana innocently responded, and you could hear the laugh in her voice. byakuya playfully rolled his blue eyes, their color matching that of the water that the boat was currently slicing through.

“anyways,” he said, quickly moving on. “aside from this, what would you like to do, dear?”

ariana let out another breath. “honestly, this spontaneous trip to mexico that i happened to mention to you once two weeks ago is more than enough.” the actress tilted her head back, leaning the back of her head on byakuya’s shoulder so she could get a good look at his face. “seriously. i don’t know how you managed to put this together when we were both knee deep in work, but you’re you, so what was i expecting.”

“and we have two children.” byakuya added. ariana nodded her head, repeating what he said verbatim.

“you thought i wouldn’t go through with it, though?” the blond asked. “ariana, if my wife tells me that she wants to go to mexico, i’m going to take her to mexico.”

ariana smiled. “how sweet.” byakuya coyly grinned, a signature look of his that hasn’t seemed to leave his face for the last twelve years. ariana laughed yet again, knowing that he was either going to say something incredibly endearing, or something hilariously stupid.

“naturally.” he responded. ariana couldn’t stop laughing. she should’ve seen that coming.

a comfortable silence fell over the two. they stood there for a while, ariana’s head on her husband’s shoulder, and byakuya’s arms around his wife’s torso. as the sun continued to dip closer to the horizon, and as the air slowly dropped in temperature, they wanted to stay there forever—ariana especially. and she was already on cloud nine, but she felt her heart skip a beat when byakuya suddenly dipped down to place a chaste kiss on her cheek.

byakuya was the one to let go this time. “love, come here.” he suddenly said, and ariana turned her head in his direction, watching with mild confusion written across her face as her husband disappeared inside the boat.

ariana followed, and reached downstairs right as byakuya was sitting down. it was a quaint little table that he was seated at, situated right next to the large windows of the yacht. the mahogany was draped in white silk, and topped with delicate white orchids. the actress took a seat across from her husband, waiting to see just what he had in store.

“now what did you call me down here for, sweetheart?” ariana asked, placing a manicured hand on her cheek. she watched as byakuya bent down to pick something up, and her light brown eyes widened ever so slightly once he placed it on the counter.

“this.” he simply said. “happy birthday, dear. again.”

it was a cartier bag. it was quite small in size, but its red color was bold, standing out against the browns and golds of the room the two were in. ariana pulled the bag towards her, her curiosity in dire need of satiation. just what had byakuya bought her that he hadn’t bought already?

byakuya watched as ariana inspected the bag, his arms crossed like always. he bit back a smile. that slight furrow of her eyebrows was always so endearing.

the actress pulled out a box. it was rather thin, and ariana knew enough about jewelry to know that there was a necklace in there. she pulled off the box’s cover, flipped open the case, and her plush lips fell open.

it was the caresse d’orchidées necklace, its rose gold surface casting small pinkish lights on the table as it was caught in the setting sun. ariana held it in her palm, her touch just a tad more delicate than it was supposed to be, as if she thought it could snap with the slightest movement. the actress had heard about it, and she thought it would be nice to have it, but not once did she mention it to her husband.

“baby,” she finally said, surprise lacing her words. “how did you know i wanted this?”

byakuya let that smug grin wean its way onto his face. “i’m your husband. why wouldn’t i know?” he responded, and ariana wanted to roll her eyes at his words in faux annoyance. “and, of course, i was thinking of you when i bought it.”

ariana melted as soon as she heard that, placing a hand on her chest and on the tweed material of her jacket. “god, i love you.” she said, and seemingly out of nowhere. byakuya’s smug smirk was replaced with a more genuine smile, and he couldn’t stop the blush that rose to dust his cheeks, tearing his cerulean gaze away from the woman across from him for the first time since they got down there.

byakuya got up, swiftly circling the table and swiftly taking the necklace into his hand. he undid its clasp and softly pushed ariana’s hair out of the way, and she wasted no time reaching back to hold up her raven locks.

before she knew it, the necklace was hanging from her neck and falling over her collarbones, its rose gold orchid—similar to the ones sitting pretty on the table—resting on the surface of her jacket. the necklace was sparkling, mimicking the luster of the ocean just outside the window. and its tiny, almost unnoticeable diamond acted like a subtle star in the middle of a rose gold ocean, making the necklace shine all the more.

ariana held the flower between her fingers, and she turned around to look her husband in the eyes. “come here.” she said, the giddiness of a teenage girl clipping her words.

before byakuya knew it, ariana rose from her seat to place a soft peck onto his lips, her hand softly resting on his cheek. he was used to it by now, of course, but even after twelve years, he couldn’t shake the subtle heat that made its way onto his face every time.

the blond cleared his throat. “go on, love,” he said. “there’s another.”

ariana furrowed her eyebrows like she always did. wordlessly reaching into the bag, she pulled out a second, smaller box. now this was definitely a ring.

repeating the same procedure, ariana popped open the box and a squeal immediately left her lips. sitting inside was a trinity ring, sparkling under the now orange hued sunlight. two of its delicate bands were the same rose gold shade as her necklace, and the last was wrapped in diamonds, matching the trinity bracelets byakuya bought eleven years earlier. ariana rushed to slide the ring onto her finger, holding her arm out in front of her to admire it in all its shimmering glory.

“sweetheart, i’ve been telling you about these rings for a year! why’d you have me wait this long?!” she exclaimed. byakuya couldn’t help but laugh, endeared at his wife’s sheer excitement.

“i was saving them, of course.” he responded, and the actress playfully groaned at his words, letting out a playful “i hate you!”

the commotion died down quickly, but it was sure to return just moments later. quietly, byakuya slid something out of his pocket and onto his finger. and as nonchalantly as ever, he placed his hand on the table, right where his wife could see it.

and she immediately began squealing. again.

ariana quickly rose from her seat, whipping around to crush her husband in a hug and place a kiss to his cheek. byakuya stumbled back ever so slightly, but quickly placed his hands on ariana’s waist as if it was instinct.

on byakuya’s finger was a ring just like ariana’s; two bands of rose gold and one coated in diamonds. ariana had gone on about matching trinity rings for the past three hundred and sixty-five days, so much so that they were the first thing byakuya thought of when considering a birthday gift for her. with how many times she’d mentioned them, what kind of husband would he be if he didn’t get them?

ariana eventually pulled away, taking a satisfied breath and leaning on the table behind her. looking her husband in the eyes, a smile automatically lit up her face.

“do you like it?” byakuya asked, although he knew the question was pointless. being ariana’s husband, and being well, him, he already knew the answer. the grin on his face—a combination of his classic smugness and genuine happiness—was a clear indication.

“i love it.” ariana replied. she pulled byakuya into another hug, resting her head on his shoulder like she had done just moments before. “i wouldn’t have it any other way.”

and although he didn’t say it outright, byakuya was thinking similar thoughts. this might not have been the most special birthday; ariana was saving that for her 30th. in fact, it was a rather impromptu one. the beachy atmosphere and time away from the urban sprawl they were used to added to it, but they could’ve been at home in tokyo and it wouldn’t have made a difference. it’s just like it’s been for the last twelve years. as long as ariana was with the man she loved the most, any birthday—no matter what year—was just as special as the last.