#( DON'T EVER SAY I'VE NEVER DONE ANYTHING FOR YOU! )

[lastoneout]

As someone who is on a mood stabilizer(lamotrigine, in fact) what's happening to the people in these screenshots is not what happens to the average person who has hobbies and fandom-adjacent interests. My meds have never stopped me from loving with my whole chest, instead they simply give me the ability to balance my intense love of things with my real life wants and needs in a healthier way. They give me the ability to stop playing Minecraft before I give myself a migraine, or stop thinking about my OTP long enough that I can make a phone call and actually focus during it, that sort of thing. I don't stop having hyperfixations, I just am able to have one and also have a functional life too.

But these people were clearly missing something important in their lives that's place was filled by a truly unhealthy obsession(or like. had mold poisoning. that person is an outlier dw). They use the word hyperfixation but like, I don't think that's really what's going on. This isn't a bog standard hyperfixation on like Hero Academia or WWDITS, these were obsessions with real living celebrities, and fandoms for celebrities tend to take a dive into conspiratorial thinking and vague cult-y behavior REAL fast. Like, I mean, you can be a fan of a celebrity or band and be normal about it ofc, but I see the conspiratorial thinking pop up a lot more and faster in fandoms for real people. Genuinely combing over every single thing Taylor Swift has ever done or said 500 billion times to compile a dissertation on how she's been subliminally telling her fans for years now that's she's gay and attacking everyone who says otherwise because they don't get it and are just homophobes and like, fucking stalking and threatening her ex-boyfriends and spending every spare moment of every day posting about it with other people who are doing the same....that's not healthy. That's not a normal special interest or hyperfixation. That's clearly someone who is missing something crucial in their lives, be it connection with other people or stable brain chemistry or a community, and filling that hole with something similar but extremely dysfunctional shared with a community of people who are also unhealthily obsessed and thus promote and encourage unhealthy fixations and conspiratorial thinking at the expense of every single part of the rest of their lives. This is on the same level as like, someone's grandma who has always kinda been convinced Elvis' death was faked and in 2016 accidentally fell down the Q Anon rabbit hole, not someone who thinks about their blorbos holding hands before they fall asleep at night and is begging for someone to ask them about the tv show they're from so they can info-dump.

And like yeah fandoms can get you like that too, I've gotten too deep before and fallen in with conspiratorial thinking(almost always around ships tbh) and whenever I get out I feel pretty ashamed of letting that free dopamine and validation roller coaster make me act like someone I'm not, and ofc some fans will stalk and harass the people behind their favorite show or movie for ship validation or write up massive conspiracy boards about how "xyz ship is def endgame trust us see we connected the dots and we will destroy the lives of anyone who disagrees including the people who make the damn show" like I was at Phoenix Comic Con the year Andrew Hussie got mobbed(but not in the mob!! thankfully I didn't get caught up in all that!!), I know how fandoms can be, but overall what's happening in these images isn't something the average fan needs to worry about. If you aren't writing conspiracy boards about celebrities sexualities or an OTP and harassing the celebrities/creators about it, sending death threats to real people who disagree with your theory or like other ships, and spending every spare second of every day posting and talking about them to the point that you literally, physically, don't have time or energy for anything else then you don't need to worry about meds making you not like your favorite webcomic as much anymore. What these people are going through is framed through the lens of fandom, but was far closer to going to a Flat Earth Convention in terms of actual behavior and outcomes.

Your meds shouldn't make you stop liking things entirely. When I think about not liking things I genuinely loved as much as I used to I get a little sad because I miss them, when I think about getting riled up because I believed a show runner was specifically trying to spite ME I feel embarrassed, and I'm glad I stopped doing it and moved on to things that actually make me happy and aren't borderline conspiracy theories. That's the difference. These people aren't sad, they are straight up happy to be out, talking about how it's wild to look at the insane things they believed, and putting focus on how their lives are better now. They clearly don't miss these things because they've moved on. Or, in the case of the BTS person and probably the swifties, they still do like the artist or actor or band, they just aren't Obsessed(tm) with them to a truly unhealthy, world-view altering degree anymore. They can still love these artists and actors without that obsessive love taking over their entire lives.

So nah. The average fan does not need to worry about meds doing this to you. These people were outliers in unhealthy situations that improved when they got the things they were missing. That's almost certainly not what's going to happen to you.

(But also yeah even if you do find your interests changing, that's not always a bad thing. Interests change, we find new things to love all the time, it doesn't invalidate the joy we found and friendships we made to recognize that now we want to post about a different show or movie or comic. That's just how life is, we change.)

And if you don't like the way meds make you feel, you can tell your doctor and stop taking them. There are some meds out there that make me into a zombie that no longer cared about anything at all. And so I stopped taking them, told my doctor, and we worked something else out. Don't be afraid of change, but also, if it sucks hit the bricks.

[geekgirl101]

More 8x06 thoughts. Still processing

I've been trying to express my feelings about 8x06 on paper, and there's still so much swirling in my head. So apologies if this is too long and ranty.

The GA isn't happy for a lot of reasons. One was that Tommy did fit with the 118, he was friends with Eddie and Chim. Two: they were happy Buck was in a relationship, and it seemed like (at least in season 7) that he was finally off the hamster wheel. And they like Eddie and Buck's friendship and don't want to see them together. After all the BS takes I've seen from you-know-whos, I can't say I disagree at all.

It's like neither Buck nor the writers have learned anything from past love interests. Tommy is the one with the most potential because of how well he fits, and he clearly has a lot of abandonment issues. Hey, so does Buck. That could have been a great point to explore.

I don't think Buck needs to sleep around to explore himself. But I do think Buck never fully processed anything.

It's wild that Buck and Tommy dated for six months and NEVER had any real conversations about exes? Tommy does strike me as the kind of person who keeps people at arm's length, who maybe doesn't say much about his past unless he has to. He could have also held back because he was letting Buck set the pace. I know Tommy isn't a main character. But they could have done so much more with this and with him. Hopefully its not the end.

The show also did nothing to show Buck's growth in a relationship, aside from the fact that he kissed a boy and liked it.

8x01 showed us that Buck was competent, professional, and mature, and stupidly I was hoping that would extend to his relationship too.

I think Buck has to figure out what he wants out of a relationship, I hope we see more of Buck talking to Josh or Hen and then he and Tommy work on making a relationship that's lasting, honest, and full of love (if we're grudging up Abby, we can continue the red string here and make that nod too)

What also bothers me is they took 3 episodes to build Buck and Tommy and show us that they have chemistry and that Tommy shows up for Buck, they had two more moments where it was clear they were getting to know each other and were solid in season 7.

And then it took them 1 episode to tear it all down without ever showing Buck showing up for Tommy. They were supposed to be getting to know each other. But six months in, it's like they didn't even know each other at all... or actually. It's like Buck didn't know Tommy at all.

I find it frustrating that we got to see so little of them, and most of it was Tommy doing things for Buck, showing up for Buck, complementing Buck, and taking care of Buck. A relationship has to be a two-way street. You show up for me, I show up for you.

And I'm glad Tommy showed up for Buck. Buck deserves love. But so does Tommy. Tommy was clearly looking for love, IDk if he was looking for a family or anything long term. Maybe he was dealing with a bad breakup and Buck was adorable, and he thought, maybe this could be a thing for now, but he ended up falling for him, clearly, and panicked. But I think on some level he was looking for someone to show up for him too, even when things got hard. And maybe this is foreshadowing. I hope it is. But I refuse to get my hopes up about it, or about Buck's love life ever again.

[earlgreytea68]

its just one of those days where ive had coffees for closers on repeat

sighhhh

have u ever done an analysis of the song? if not what r ur thoughts?? hope ur having a good day btw xx

Ugh, this song is such a gutpunch. I've talked about it briefly in the context of how it reworks lines from Pete's poem "to you (unfinished, off the top of my head)" in THE MOST PAINFUL WAY POSSIBLE:

He does the same thing with the lyrics he borrows for (coffee’s for closers). Pete’s poem sets the tone for fairy-tale storytelling right at the beginning: “It all started with some friends and a van, a kick drum inside my ribs, preaching electric into a microphone stand.” These beginning images are fond: holding up red cups at house parties, falling asleep together on the grass during festivals, laughing. But Patrick carves those lines out and brackets them with “I will never believe in anything again, we will never believe again.” What an answer to this poem out of Patrick: to take those words and slap them between endless proclamations of not falling for that fairy tale again. Even worse, he tops it off with a rewrite of the “read the charts” line: the poem reads “you can get lonely when u only read the charts.” This feels like more on the theme of “you can get everything you want [but it’s never enough], but it won’t actually make you happy.” You can read the charts, and FOB would be on top of them, but it’s lonely up there, and you need more than that. But the line in (coffee’s for closers) goes: “Only get lonely when you read the charts.” The movement of that “only” shifts the line for me. There are a bunch of ways to read it, but for me it reads like: “You only get lonely when you remember you’re in a band. You’re so busy running around being the life of the party, you’re never, ever lonely unless you’re paying attention to your band.”

The thing is, I consider that poem a fond and wistful love poem from Pete to Patrick, trying to reach across a great chasm, and at first the pain of it is how Patrick initially writes songs that take those lines and rejects them, twists them, spits them back out. Eventually he doesn't. Eventually he soothes the lines back into answering love songs. But in the beginning, he writes songs that are fiery rejections of the mood of this poem, and (coffee's for closers) is one of them. Pete's poem reads all us believers still believe. Patrick in this song writes, over and over and over again, slamming it home, I will never believe again. Take that, Pete Wentz! Never! Again!

To me it's just a brutal song about hating how everything turned out but not seeing a way out of it (I want everything to change and stay the same). The Genius annotation says throw your cameras in the air is about how people always film concerts these days, but I think that's wrong. I mean, maybe, although the song was written in 2008 when cell phone taping was still a fairly new phenomenon. But I think this line is really a rumination on fame, on feeling like everywhere you look there are cameras in your face, and it's not about concerts, it's about your life. Girls used to follow you around...until you got cold, and you were no longer the current big thing, and then it's lonely there in the spotlight, where no one's having a good time, the hands they wave in the air are all cameras pointed at you, hoping to catch the next mistake, and everything that was supposed to be good and great, all those pretty promises Pete Wentz made back in the summer fest days when you fell asleep on the grass turned into this. You've become something I don't even recognize, and I'm just your mascot, some laughable gimmick everyone makes fun of, and you love the mayhem more than the love that was all around you, you threw all that love away like you didn't even want it, and I will never believe in anything again. Change will come, and nothing good is going to come of that, either, because you don't like things the way they are but you know that changing them isn't going to turn out well, either.

This song is just so much. It's so angrily hiatus. It's such a demonstration of how much they had broken down around each other.

But it's okay. Because on the other side of it, eventually, Patrick takes this same poem and makes it into "Favorite Record," so it turns out all right in the end. Happily ever after (below the waist)

[athenasdaydreams]

okay i should be studying for my bio final but i couldnt stop thinking of jj maybank asking kook!reader's parents for permission to marry you (still on s2 of outerbanks idk what happened after that....)

jj, at 23 years old, thinks its so archaic to ask your parents for permission to marry you. hes been thinking about it for months now. he would much rather pick you up and go over to a courthouse and get it done with. not a flashy type of guy. but, growing up rich, you had mentioned so many times about a dream wedding and who was he to deny his girl's wishes. youd mentioned it so many times, even going as far as sending him your wedding pinterest board after being inspired by sarah and john b's shotgun wedding (or rather in an effort to make sure jj didn't expect you guys to have a shotgun wedding).

sarah cameron wanted to be as much of a pogue as possible, while you were reluctant to give up your kook lifestyle of dior lipgloss and chanel handbags. that was exactly why after taking up a second job at the wreck, a loan from the bank, a third job cleaning some kook's boat, and another loan from the guy at the fishing store (he didnt know it yet but jj was sure he'd pay him back), jj stood outside your family's mansion with a gold band tucked in his back pocket, and some pictures of some houses he was looking at, ready on his phone. he felt like he'd been standing out there for hours. 'now or never, maybank,' he mumbled as he wiped his hands on his old faded blue jeans which had been paired with pope's white button up, knocking on the door.

the woman who opened up the door looked exactly like you, just about 40 years older. 'evening mrs l/n, i'm jj maybank, your granddaughter's boyfriend.'

after giving him a scrutinising once over, she said 'she's not here,' and attempted to close the door. jj made sure to tell her that he wanted to talk to your parents about something important, and she somewhat reluctantly let him in.

your mother was sitting on the couch, reading the latest edition of vogue (something he could picture you doing a few years in the future) while your father had presumably just gotten back from work, enjoying some expensive looking drink while talking to his wife about his day.

'mr and mrs l/n?'

both of them whipped their heads around and looked towards jj.

'jonathan?'

he was regretting ever telling you his full name, more so regretting letting you introduce him to your parents like that, during that one horrible dinner that ended with you and your mom crying and your dad and jj almost killing each other. as time passed, they stopped hating him so much, but some resentment remained.

'uh, jj is fine. listen, i gotta talk to you guys about something'

'you didn't get her pregnant did you?!' your father stood up, trying to intimidate him. what for, he didn't know.

'NO no i didn't! i promise!!' he said as he stood in front of them, reaching into his back pocket. 'I came here to ask for your permission to marry your daughter.' your mom looked like she was about to have a stroke and your dad was about to protest.

'listen, before you guys say anything, i want you to know that your daughter was the best thing to ever happen to me. i love her more than anything in the world and i would sacrifice everything, including my own life for her. i know you guys think i don't have the means to support her or give her the life she deserves and i agree. i'll never be able to give her the life she truly deserves but that doesn't mean i'll try. i've taken up 2 more jobs to buy her this ring and save up for a house- its really nice by the way, i have some photos-and i would take up all the jobs in the world just to give her the life she wants. so please, please let me marry your daughter,' jj said in what felt like one breath.

your father was shocked and your emotional mother was on the verge of tears.

"jj?"

at the sound of your voice, jj turned around to be met with your confused face. "i didn't know we had plans today... and why're you dressed like that?"

he turned to your father, who gave him the slightest nod, signalling him to approach you.

"i had a whole thing planned to do this, with dinner and candles 'n shit, but i feel like if i dont do this now im going to explode."

"jj, what do you mean? you're scaring me." you looked at him with concern, the poor boy looked like he was about to pass out.

he got onto one knee and held out the ring he had bought for you.

"from the moment I first saw you, I knew you were something special. you were unlike anyone else I’ve ever met. And now, standing here in front of you…I’m pretty damn sure that i wouldn't wanna spend my life with anyone but you."

your vision started blurring from the tears in your eyes.

"will you marry me?"

[random-remzy]

"I told you to leave."

"I know you did."

"You didn't listen to me."

You laugh. "Naturally! What else is new?"

"...Please leave."

The laughing stops. You squint your eyes and your fingers clench around the hilt of your sword. "You know I can't do that."

My hand twitches against my own sword. Itching to pull it out of its sheath. But not now. Not with you. "I won't take no for answer."

"Then learn to not ask questions."

"I don't want to fight you. Please just go."

You scoff. "There's a lake of blood where you stand. It's all dripping off your hands. You killed so many. Why hesitate to draw your sword on me?"

"Not you. Never you. You know that-"

"By the Gods I do! You killed my family! My comrades! You burned everything I ever had! The only thing I have left of the life before is a mountain of ash and bones! You- and now... You're here. Here to take away the last thing I have left- Well I won't let you!"

You pull your sword out and in front of you. It glows. Your stance is strong and I feel every ounce of willpower leave my body, as rage fills your eyes to the brim.

I widen my stance. I make myself look larger than you. But I feel my strength wane. "I will not fight you. I refuse to."

"Then I will paint the world with your blood and ash."

You lunge forward. You're faster than I remember, stronger. I cannot step away in time.

There is blood running from my shoulder. I couldn't even tell if it was my own. The only thing that made it stand out, was the dark color, and the cotinuous dripping. Other than that, it may as well have mixed with the thick layer of blood that already caked my skin. I never new how much of it was mine. Not much. That much I knew. "Stop this, please. Just leave."

You lunge again, I reach for my sword, but my arm- Right, I'm bleeding, you hurt it. I barely graze its hilt, before you plunge your own sword deep into my chest.

I feel my body freeze. I cannot breathe. I cannot speak. But my heart keeps beating, and every beat pulses painfully against the cold iron.

I can stop you if I desire. I can make you stop. I can make you stop this in so many ways. I've written every single way I know. It took fourteen leatherbinds to write them all down. But I don't. I don't stop you. Instead I writhe in pain as you stand above me. Trembling.

The words spit out of your mouth, and the rage is slowly seeping out of your eyes. "How dare you- HOW DARE YOU?!"

I say nothing, just meet your eyes.

"How can you come back here... to me! Knowing what you've done- Knowing what you are! What I am!"

I raise my arm. The one you hadn't injured. I reach it out, and place my bloodstained hand, onto your trembeling ones. Still tightly knotted over the hilt. I don't know why I do it. But I do. "I will not- h-hurt you-"

And the rage in your eyes, the hot anger streaming down your face. It doubles. "But I will kill you."

And you push the sword deeper. And then you twist it. I scream. I have never screamed before. I'd only ever heard the screams of others. Never my own. It's loud- deafening. It cracks and chokes. I feel my throat burning. Whether that is from the scream, or the blood. I do not know.

"I will NOT let you pass me. You will lie here and feel every drop of the pain that you showered me with!"

I want to cry. "Please- I can't let you- You'll die!"

You laugh. And what a horrible laugh it is. Broken and frantic. Loud and uneven. "So be it!" You spit in my face. "I died a long time ago. If now it's time for my body to go as well. Then so be it.."

My hand wraps around my sword. No. Stop- I don't wan't to hurt you. But my body doesn't listen. It takes hold of the hilt and in one movement, you jump back. clutching your face.

My hand is shaking. The sword- There was so much blood on it. None of it yours. Except it was. Your blood was always different. Golden. Unlike anything seen before. And it was on my sword, a path of gold etching itself into the cold iron. And my own hand, glowing the same golden hue. I drop the blade.

You let go of your face, stare down in horror at your own blood. Dripping from your face. Into your hands. Trailing down and into the grass. You look at me, meet my eyes. I cannot bear it. Your eye is to bright. Bright and bleeding. I did that. And you smile. And I think I do cry now. Because I cannot bear it. You laugh again. Your horrible, twisted laugh. "You missed~" You lean your head back, and expose your neck. It's smooth and scarless. And there is a river of gold flowing down from your eye. You drag a finger down the length of your throat. And I can see it, even from where I lay, the way you dig your nail sharply into the skin.

You throw your sword towards me. For a moment, I believe that this is it. That I've reached my end. But the sword wedges itself into the soft soil next to my ear. Close enough that, if I so desired, I could reach up with my good hand, and take hold of it.

"Do it."

"What...?"

You gesture to your throat again. "Finish it."

Bile rises high into my throat. Bile and blood and all things bad. "No- I won't!"

You're eyes- I could always read them. Not anymore. They're wild and lost. You bare your bloodied teeth at me. "Why?! Why not?! You had no hesitation when you slayed everyone I used to know! No hesitation when you burned every part of me!" You point accusingly at me, the golden blood shoots off of your hand and drips onto my face. I can feel it burning. I do not care. "So why?!-"

And you fall onto your knees and your hands pull at your hair, covering them in gold. It looks like a halo. You sob. Wretched sounds of dispair tearing through your throat.

The sky is darkening. You need to leave. Now. "Please... leave..."

"No."

Your voice is shaking, so is your body. But your stare holds. You will not leave. I need you to go.

"Please-"

"You said I'll die if I stay..." "...Then I'll die today."

"You can't-"

"I will."

I feel the tears now. It's been so long. I forgot I could cry at all. I need you to leave. Please leave-

"Please- just go!"

"I will not."

And I would've done more. Could've done more. But I didn't. I just laid there, on the soft bloodstained grass. Crimson and gold mixing together and seeping into the soil.

I would've done more. Could've- should've done more. But I didnt. Instead I let you stay there, kneeling on the grass. crying tears of gold and screaming hoarsly into the tress.

I didn't do more. And the world shook. I felt every part of me tremble.

I laid there. I left you there. I think I died there. I think you did too.

I remember closing my eyes. The world was engulfed in flames. It was burning. You were burning. I was burning.

And I thought that maybe. Maybe, now. You would die in peace. Knowing I had burned, just like you had...

~ * ~

(if it wasn't obvious, the word was 'leave')

“A single word can be interpreted in many ways. Shall I take yours as a threat, or something else?”

[benevolenterrancy]

("Always. Continuously. With increasing apprehension, and decreasing hope. I will love you if I never see you again, and I will love you if I see you every Tuesday. I will love you as a corpse loves the beak of the vulture. I will love you no matter what happens to you, and no matter how I discover what happens to you, and no matter what happens to me as I discover this." -- paraphrased from The Beatrice Letters, Lemony Snicket)

[spacedolphinrehab]

the bitches are talking about him more!! here's additional Justin Collette pictures I've gathered. I share.

My camera roll is 45% him and 55% my cat

[armandposting]

also I just think it's really unintentionally cruel to look at armand's life and go, see this piece, which is the only piece where you felt safe and happy and loved even if bad shit was also going on? actually it was rotten to the core and there is no part of your life that was ever safe. and the anger and terror you feel about the entire rest of your life must also be applied here because there was nothing salvageable about this time. which could in fact be a very in character thing for daniel to do lmfao but that's not how I ever really see it presented

[fratboykate]

Papi, are you alive? Thunderbolts trailer leaked and we got Hailee back from the dead (and there's the movie with Andrew and Florence and its KYAU coded as fuck) Kate and Yelena content galor this week. PLEASE COME BACK. We've been deprived for a year. It's been jail for too long. Grace us with Kate x Yelena content again. Pretty please.

*taps mic* Is this thing on?

[longagoitwastuesday]

Kusakabe, dear, you're too beautiful to be saying that kind of stuff

[cs-oc-blank-random-posts]

there's a message for someone in the tags

(aimed/tw)

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

Fanwork creators self rec! When you get this, reply with your five favorite fics/art/podfics/etc. that you've made, then pass on to others. Let’s spread the self-love 🌼

(No pressure if you don't want to though!)

Hope you have a good day! ✨

ah damn ok uhhhh i'm still very happy with This Rojade piece, My Murder Boy, this Flight Rising thing, this Julie one, and my DC fantasy fic copper & gold <3

[medicinemane]

.

[stereax]

saw you post 'listen before you go', thought you'd enjoy this:

oh...

[subsequentibis]

'nother big post of closed species guys i've designed since folks were nice abt the last one :)

mignyans (alien parasite crabs that infect a host and cause the thing-esque meat to manifest on their bodies):

^ free anniversary event design! they do a scavenger hunt every october for traits and it's always a good time

^design i did as a guest artist for the species! using the new mineral deposit trait that was added after the last anniversary event

^ this is one of my favorites i've ever done. i love you channel wvmb you will always be famous to me.

^ this one and the next one were designed based on premade crabs! this one's the same species as the first mignyan i ever designed

^ this one goes with the sun & moon one :) wizard & apprentice

^metalhead!! bloody remnants logo designed by my wonderful fiance

starlyngs (avian creatures that are personified stars i think? i'll be honest i'm less clear on the lore i just think they're neat):

^ shithead extraordinaire who is in trouble all the time for stealing & conning people out of valuables

^ freak.

[ranger-kellyn]

i said it on my swiftie blog last but fuck it i'll say it here too bc i woke up still annoyed about it:

for a website that does a ton of bitching and moaning about media literacy and and saying all this "you all clearly didn't pay attention in high school english", funny how suddenly none of y'all know what a fucking metaphor is.

of course taylor wasn't literally raised in an asylum! the public eye is the inescapable asylum!

i think about all the genuinely shitty and harmful things i've said and done across all my nearly 30 years. i have said and done some awful shit, because i am an incredibly fallible person who was raised by incredibly fallible parents and relatives, raised in a fallible community (things i literally had ZERO choice in) and surrounded by incredibly fallible friends. i have hung around some horrible people who said and did horrible things.

if i had to learn everything i've learned all while under a microscope from the public-- yeah! i'd go fucking insane! i wouldn't last ten seconds in that!!

and i really reckon you wouldn't, either, because the unfortunately reality is we're all fallible. most of us just have the luxury of being complete nobodies