#( ABSOLUTE MONSTERS WHOM I LOVE TO BITS )

[clochanam]

me: okay, today we're gonna write shippy content! so much shippy stuff! romance and spice is where we're at--

@winterbranded & @startold : hunger gam.es.

me, immediately in tears: hunger gam.es--

[paymechildsupport]

ᴛᴇᴀᴄʜᴇʀ!Ryomen Sukuna x M!ʀᴇɪɴᴄᴀʀɴᴀᴛᴇᴅ!Reader //“𝗠𝗶𝘀𝘀𝗲𝗱 𝗺𝗲..?”

Request, @zxuii

--- "HI HIII first off, i love your writing style, i actually adore it lol. Second I want to request Teacher!Sukuna x Male!reader that was also a sorcerer from the heian era, a powerful one who gets jealous quite often of the attention Sukuna gets since back in the Heian era the only ones who where close enough to Sukuna was reader and Uraume (Unless Uraume didn't exist in this AU or smth happened) so a lot of fights between them break through since Sukuna isn't good with communication either. You can decide if you want this too be Angst in general or paired with something else i don't mind!! :))"

((I love this <3))

-!! M!Reader (he / him)

-!! Wee bit of angst (he's just a saucy boy) + goofy kinda smut (dunno what kind of style it's called lol)

-!! stuff ain't proofread 🥶

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

･・❥・---------------------------------------------------------------･・❥・

Sukuna remembers you vividly from the past; from that time 1000 years ago. How could he forget? Such a flamboyant character, – power exuded with every step, the earth seeming to shake with every fall of your foot. A wandering swordsman: a rather powerful sorcerer who curiously didn’t belong to any one clan. You’d spend your days traversing the earth, sleeping in the empty shrines near villages, taking commissions and odd jobs from just about everyone– human or not. 

Sukuna found it odd how you didn’t align yourself with the standard belief of sorcerers: you were benevolent to cursed spirits like him, you didn’t have the sudden impulse to exorcize, to destroy. Perhaps it was your lack of loyalty to a clan, or the fact that curses could offer prices just as good– if not better, than humans. Either way, it was quite interesting when you crossed paths for the first time; him, the terrifying, all powerful King of Curses, – four arms and two grotesque faces, towering over you, a humble traveler, – and you just stood there, – smiling, at him, – the rumored monster of Ryomen Sukuna. 

He was absolutely astounded, – had this guy not an ounce of fear? The singlest shred of self-preservation? You should be screaming– running, – begging at his feet for mercy, – not making small talk 

“Nice weather, huh?”

“Excuse me? It’s pouring” 

“Oh, I hadn’t noticed 😋” 

He could sense a staggering amount of cursed energy from you, much more than the average sorcerer– let alone human. 

“Nice jugs btw” 

“???” 

Bud was flabbergasted – he could only watch you walk away with a big grin on your face. Later that evening he had to bring it up to Uruame, who was cooking up the latest harvest of human bones: 

“He said you had a nice chest.” 

“Huh, usually one would think to say that to a woman–” 

“Perhaps the sorcerer thought you were a woman”

“What.” 

Ever since he’s had an affinity for you, a fascination… an obsession. He needed to know everything about you, – your goal, your motives, your desires, your deepest and darkest of fears, – the most depraved of thoughts of this strange sorcerer who had the gaul to compliment his chest like he was some kind of street whore. 

He ran into you the next day at the same village, just as you were about to leave. You acted so nonchalant, like he was just another acquaintance, it was truly fascinating and… dare Sukuna say, endearing. He initially went there to kill you for your audacity from yesterday, yet he ended up only shit-talking the village folk wit you, – the old swordsmith who swore there were devils living in his chimney, - the old woman by the creek who was rumored to drown passerbys in the water next to her tiny abode, - the sleezy thug of a priest who thought it was funny to scam you for cleaning his shrine free of charge (whom Sukuna ended up gutting shortly afterwards). The curse was left to, yet again, return back to Uruame with new rantings of you

(just let them cook in peace 😭)

The next day, a band of those pesky Zenin showed up, – and Sukuna thought the opps were on him again. Turns out, not only were you not apart of any specific clan, but you were also quite unpopular with a majority of sorcerer society. After finding out, Sukuna couldn’t help but rush to your aid, determined to cleave the gang of sorcerers in half for trying to harm such an interesting specimen of his. Imagine his utmost surprise to find them not only beat upon his arrival, but diced up and dead on the forest floor, too. 

He was beyond impressed: a seeming clanless nobody such as yourself had chopped down about a dozen of one of the most powerful sorcerers of the time. You saw him staring from afar, waving and flashing that stupidly charming smile of yours. Sukuna couldn’t help but invite you back with him, the dozen dead bodies in tow 

Uruame cooked up a mighty fine dinner that night, one the three of you enjoyed together (yum, human flesh). From that day on you were part of the gang: you, Sukuna, and Uruame. Most days you would be off for up to months at a time, simply doing your own thing, going town to town. Whenever you’d run into your good pal as he was burning down the latest village you’d make sure to have a nice catch up over a warm meal (cooked by Uruame)

You and Uruame got along, – they liked the fact that you could often cook together, Sukuna�� being useless as shit in the kitchen – was barred from helping lest he incinerate everything 

But alas, you were mortal, fickle; temporary, – and no sooner did you come into his existence were you cruelly ripped from him, – finally effectively jumped and killed. 

Sukuna almost couldn’t believe it: you never lost- you weren’t supposed to lose, but you did. You fought valiantly, taking an impressive number down with you. In the skirmish, Uruame disappeared, Sukuna was reduced almost to dust,-- miraculously he survived, albeit incredibly weak. They sealed a majority of his power away in his severed fingers. 

Now, weakened immeasurably and down a pair of arms, – momentarily without his chef and darling sorcerer, Sukuna had a change in heart

No longer did he want to be the bad guy, he wanted to be good, to help others, – to help the future of jujutsu sorcery (nah, that’s some bullshit, he just wanted to continue being fed, and he could only be if he became a teacher in sorcery, lol) 

—----

Flash forward to modern day… 

—---

Seeing you once again, reborn, was a complete whiplash for Sukuna. 

You recognized him immediately, obviously, – he was your man after all <3 (even if he denied it) 

Poor baby had to physically restrain himself when he saw you back to kicking ass as a modern day jujutsu sorcerer, having not changed an ounce since he last remembered you

You miss his four arms, – almost more than Sukuna did. It disappointed Sukuna to see you disappointed with his lack of arm power. Still, he only needed two arms to absolutely destroy you--

After the incident with Yuji Itadori accidentally consuming one of his fingers (which made Sukuna livid– blud has been sweating and grinding to get those fingers back, and to find out some random goofy ahh kid decided to munch on one? And they wanna give him MORE??) – Sukuna has been absorbed more than ever into his work. 

You adore his students, – especially Megumi, Nobara and Yuji – (much to Sukuna’s dismay) and oftentimes will stop by his lessons just to bug him in front of them 

You were still the same insufferable charmer as before, shamelessly batting your eyes and making crude comments to catch him off guard: 

“Hey cutie ;) “ 

“Hell do you want” he sneers, “wish to be my example for today’s lesson?” 

“Nah, just passing by, – those pants make your ass look fat by the way” 

“What.”

“Toodles !!” 

It infuriated him, much to your delight 

It was different now, back then it was just you and him, Uruame bearing the only witness to your shenanigans. But when you say those things in front of those brats, – the same brats who were taught to fear and despise his kind, who were suppose to be intimidated by him, – it makes his job of maintaining the tough, snide “King of Curses” just that much harder 

Yuji, with all the time he spent with Sukuna as his main mentor, would ask about you frequently: what you were like 1,000 years ago. Whether it was the nostalgia or purely the fact it was you, – talking about it always softened Sukuna’s grueling and harsh belittling. Poor Yuji could only catch a break when Sukuna started saying “Back in my day..”

“Sukuna-sensei?”

“What, brat?” Sukuna paused, casting an unimpressed glare over his shoulder 

Yuji propped his head onto a fist, leaning on the desk in front of him. The empty classroom was dimming with the setting sun, the vibrant colors that always made Sukuna wanna barf invaded through the windows from the sunset, painting the empty classroom a colorful ombre, 

“You said that odd man who likes to hang around you was around 1,000 years ago, right?” 

Sukuna’s eyebrows scrunch in annoyance, “Yes, and?” 

“What was he like? Does he act the same as all those years ago? How’d he get reborn? What was your relationship like?” The curse wanted to punt the kid across the room with all his silly questions. Instead, – knowing you’d dislike it if he hurt Yuji, – he opted to take a deep breath, air hissing through his teeth, before answering, 

“Mm, you brats are so invasive, – the world doesn’t revolve around you selfish vermin.” sighing, “but fine, I’ll entertain whatever silly fantasy you have about me in your head; he was a sorcerer, a pretty damn strong one, too”

“But you didn’t kill him-” Yuji interjects, confused 

“No, I didn’t” 

“Why, were you two good friends.?”

He growled at the quantity of the questions, causing Yuji to scoot back in his seat slightly, 

“No– well, sort of. I’d assume you could say that.” 

“No-? Really? Kugisaki thinks you two are dating” 

Sukuna’s jaw almost drops to the floor, 

“What.” 

“Yeah, – Fushiguro says you two were together back then too, with the way you look at each other”

With the way he-? 

“Was he your like… private prostitute or something?” 

Sukuna has never heard such fuckery before:

“No. – I’d suggest you’d stop wherever you think you’re going with this, brat.” 

“Did you bang though?” 

That threw him for a loop, and Sukuna couldn’t help but wince at the term. “Banging” was a poor choice of words, – such a word couldn’t possibly do what you two did justice. 

No, you didn’t “bang”

Sukuna couldn’t help but be drawn in by you, – your attitude, your carefree-ness, your power, he wanted it all for himself, – which he sometimes did 

Those endless nights of pleasure where’d he just lose himself in you, - your affectionate caresses, your sweet nothings whispered into his ear that cast shivers all throughout. Sukuna was used to hearing praise showered upon his name, – his devotees throwing themselves at his feet to worship the ground he walked on. But he didn’t care for their praise, – not like he did yours. Your kind words were treasured, craved. If only you had been a woman: he would’ve made you a concubine, – no, – his wife. 

—---

His ego is fragile, witnessing you tearing apart his terrifying image horrifies him. 

Unfortunately for Sukuna, you couldn’t stop dotting on your pretty princess :3 It all came to a boiling point when you saw one of his colleagues start to cuddle up just the littlest bit too close: and he just let them. Seeing Mei Mei acting so clingy with the King made something in the pit of your stomach drop. Your envy boiled, sour and ripening into an ugly weed. It was obvious she held no actual affections (because one, – Mei Mei only lives for cold, hard cash, – which Sukuna didn’t really have on him, which was odd— and two, he was way too old for her tastes)

You just couldn’t help yourself, – he was wearing such a tight shirt, it hid nothing. 

“Yo, nice tits”

He was done. You were done sullying his name with your filthy words, – you were done humiliating him. And he made sure you knew that too

He had pulled you into his empty classroom, all the students and staff long gone. Sukuna towered over you, cold glare sending a delicious shivering cascading through your body, 

“Enough.” 

“Eh..?” you wince, your voice sounded all wrong, too high pitch and breathy, “enough of what?” 

Your damn smile again. 

“You know exactly what I’m talking about. Your humiliation is not appreciated.” 

You scoff, “humiliation?” 

He glares, “silence, brat” he firmly grabs ahold of your chin, forcing it upwards, making you look him directly in those creepy, maroon eyes. 

One moment Sukuna has his emotions underwraps: he’s focused, – locked in, – he’s not going to let something as fickle as human ‘love’ hinder his plans. The more assertive the better, he would not be walked on – but he also didn’t want to accidentally lash out and do something he ends up regretting 

The next thing he knows, Sukuna starts spiraling, 

“You insist on following me, stalking me for over 1,000 years, – it’s pathetic” wait- what? No, he didn’t mean it like that

“--you mortal brats are as measly as ever, it’s no wonder you died to your own kind” pause, no, no, no, no, no….-- what was he doing? He didn’t actually mean that- 

“--killed by fellow sorcerers: pathetic. Dead and reborn, you’re still the desperate mutt crawling back to me..” Stop. Make it stop. Someone stop him. Stop/

“Uruame should be back here instead, seeing you is the biggest disappointment in this millennium” 

Oh.. 

“... fine then.” Your voice is quiet, small. Don’t look at him like that.

Sukuna’s eyes widened, but he couldn't seem to say anything, his tongue glued to the roof of his mouth. Instant dread pools into his stomach

“I see how it is. If that’s truly how you feel…” 

“Wait no–” Sukuna starts, immediately tensing up as you lower your eyes onto his. He swallows, hard. He hated the dejected, – the defeated look on your face. You looked so sad, and Sukuna couldn’t bear to see you sad , – something that terrified him to no end, — you terrify him to no end. You elicit the most exotic of feelings within him, reviving his ancient, rotten, worm eaten heart to a thunderous boom. Sukuna is reminded of the times back then: you laying in the field, hand twining in his hair, lightly scraping his scalp, – him sighing in content like an old dog. There would be the half eaten corpse of some unfortunate sorcerer off to the side, and you’d occasionally hand feed one or two limbs to the second mouth on his stomach, tongue out and awaiting like a dog’s for a treat  —Such tender moments, the power you have over him makes him feel weak in the knees. Every instinct within him told Sukuna to run, - to protect himself from this threat that was your adoration. The thrill gnawed at him from the inside, – but oh, the ecstasy from it felt so good. 

But he was Ryomen Sukuna, the King of Curses – he couldn’t face having such an open weakness – taking on a lover would feel like he had gutted himself, taking away a fundamental aspect of his existence as a character. You just have to keep stoking the flames. , 

… “nevermind, just go. I could care less” 

You do, closing the classroom door behind you, and Sukuna can’t help but feel as if half of his soul leaves with you. This happened every time: he’d push you away, only to immediately regret it, craving deeply for your validation. 

Shit, seems like he really did have a lot to learn when it came to such fickle human emotions.

He’d make it up to you, – he always did. 

—-------

You were the only one to bring him to his knees, the only deity the King would bring himself to worship , – and what a divine thing you were. 

Those nights of infinite passion, – you underneath him, (and occasionally him under you–)  he’d take you with the utmost care. Ryomen Sukuna has never been “gentle” with something, – let alone with another living individual, – but with you his touches were always so attentive, so skillful and purposeful. He never wanted to hear you scream in anything but pure pleasure. 

On the most precious of those nights, you’d coax the sweetest of noises from his lips. You could’ve sworn he has whimpered, despite his firm denial. 

You were his God. 

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

A/N: thank you for the request <3

[bluebeary-jay]

Let me (put my lips to somethin')

Joel Miller x f!Reader

Summary: 5 times you wanted to kiss Joel, and 1 time it actually happened (or: your relationship with Joel over the years)

Tags: 5+1 babeyyy, VERY self-indulged (i just want this man to call me his babygirl 😫), FLUFF, tooth-rotting fluff even, a bit of angst, age gap, PINING, i could write several fics out of this but no we're doing 5+1! also reader has she/her pronouns (i tried not to but at some point it was getting difficult not to use any :( sorry guys)

Warnings: descriptions of violence and wounds, cursing, getting drunk, David (which is a warning in itself), allusions to SA (but nothing happens)

Word count: ~9.4K (jesus i really got carried away im not doing that again for at least some time)

A/N: i am baack!! i finally had time to finish this monster and i guess it's ready to post <3 i absolutely ADORE 5+1 fics and always wanted to write one on my own. so here it is!! hope you enjoy because i loved writing it

1. boston qz

You bit your forearm harder, trying to hold back the tears of pain. The man kneeling in front of you glanced up.

“Bite the sleeve of your jacket. Otherwise they’re gonna think you’re infected and shoot you on sight.”

You didn’t answer but nodded, knowing that he was right. Holding your breath for a moment, you took a handful of the material and bit down on it, shutting your eyes tightly. The excruciating pain in your leg was hard enough to endure, but for the first place with it competed an absolutely unbearable look of poorly concealed pity (which you initially took for irritation) on the face of Tess’ friend.

It was through her that you met Joel. At the beginning he wasn’t very keen about letting you work with them but slowly warmed up to your presence – at least as much as a man like Joel could. Most of the time he was grumbling and, in all fairness, looking slightly angry but you’ve soon understood that he’s actually a pretty good guy. Caring. Funny, if he lets you see this side of him. Also really fucking handsome, but that was beside the point.

The job was supposed to be an easy one – just meet with a couple of Zeke’s people, pick up the smuggled items and exchange them for some meds and ammunition. However, none of you expected some random rogue group to ambush you on your way back and attempt to steal the cargo.

Tess has managed to get away just before soldiers showed up, alerted by the sound of gunfire way past the curfew. Before they could spot any of you, Joel quickly pulled you into one of the nearby buildings after one of the strangers slashed your thigh, leaving you unable to run.

So now here you were. Bleeding from your leg and making a pathetic crybaby out of yourself before the very eyes of the man you respected and lowkey had a small crush on.

Speaking of whom, Joel gave you a look of sympathy before squeezing the stapler handle again, ejecting another staple into your skin. You tensed and a broken cry escaped your lips, your breathing rapid.

“It’s alright,” he murmured, putting his other hand on your knee and rubbing slightly. “Just two more and you’ll be good to go.”

You breathed out a humorless laugh and wiped your face, sniffling.

“Just get on with it. This is way more embarrassing than it should be.” In the corner of your eye you saw him look up. He didn’t move the hand in which he held the staple gun yet, so you took this moment to steady your breath and slumped against the wall. “You probably think it’s pretty pathetic, but in my defense I never had such a gash closed with staples like that.”

“M’not thinkin’ that,” he retorted and you blew a raspberry.

“Sure. Tess told me about some of your forays, you know? You could probably get run over by a damn tank and walk it off like it’s nothing.”

Joel was silent for some time. You wiped your cheeks and motioned for him to eject the last staples at the edge of the deep cut in your thigh. He mumbled to you to get ready and you took a deep breath, bracing yourself for the pain.

It hurt like hell and you couldn’t help the tears flowing from your eyes, but soon enough it was over.

The sound of shouting from outside drew your attention from the pain in your leg for a couple of seconds. You tensed up, listening intently if the soldiers weren’t busting in the building you were in, but the noises soon went past you.

“Y’know, if my brother was here, he’d have told you about the first time I had a wound stitched outside of the controlled conditions,” Joel spoke up unexpectedly, unpacking his backpack in search of clean bandages. “I nearly bit off my thumb when he was tryin’ to sew my foot back together.”

You couldn’t help but snort at his confession and he glanced at you from the corner of his eye with a slight smirk.

“Is that true?”

Joel huffed with fake indignation and lifted his left hand to your eyes, twisting it so that the dim light from outside illuminated the side of it. Above and below the small bone at the base of his thumb appeared very light and irregular lines. You looked at his face with an unbelieving smile.

“When was that?”

“Ah… Just before the outbreak, I’d say.”

“And what happened to your foot?”

“Construction work. I don’t remember exactly what that was.”

“But how hard did you have to chomp down on your thumb for it to be still visible?” you asked, laughing, to which he chuckled and shrugged.

“Hey, don’t judge. If it was Tommy who was fixin’ your leg, you’d probably end up without a couple of fingers too, just for good measure.”

He found the bandage and motioned for you to straighten your leg at the knee. You watched him carefully as he looked over your bare thigh and the (not very pretty to look at) sutured wound. The leg of your pants was cut and tossed away earlier so that Joel could stitch you up freely.

“So you have a brother. Is he really that bad at treating wounds?” you asked to distract yourself from the awkwardness of the whole situation, though Joel seemed surprisingly calm.

“He got better with time,” your colleague answered and then looked up at you. “But I didn’t tell you this to bitch about Tommy’s skills.”

“Oh?” you nudged him with your other leg. “So what moral should I draw from this story?”

You clearly saw him suppressing a smile when he shook his head lightly.

“Don’t feel bad that it hurts,” he murmured and the snicker disappeared from your lips. “I’ve seen looks like the one on your face plenty before. It’s a fuckin’ big gash, I’d be worried if you didn’t show any signs of pain.”

You couldn’t come up with any snarky remarks and just blinked when Joel sent you a quick, if not a bit self-conscious, smile, like he wasn’t used to reassuring someone else.

“The fact that you let your tears flow doesn’t make you any weaker,” he said even quieter than before. You still weren’t answering and he cleared his throat, apparently growing uncomfortable with your silence, then grabbed the bottle of alcohol. “I’m gonna pour some of that shit over your wound again. It’ll sting a bit.”

You observed without a word how he cleansed the gash and started to wind the bandage around your thigh.

Weirdly enough, you also noticed that you couldn’t stop glancing at his lips.

*****

2. bill and frank’s

“No. I said no, come back here!”

Giggles erupted from you as Joel tried (and failed) to grab you when you jumped over the couch. He sighed deeply as you made eye contact with him and, with a provocative smile, drank up the rest of the bottle before putting it down on the nearby table. The man looked so disappointed and done with you, it only made you laugh louder in your drunken state.

You two were staying for a couple of days at Bill and Frank’s heavenly place, which you looked forward to for weeks now. Originally Tess was supposed to go with you but there was a last-minute change of plans, and you made the journey alone with Joel. Not counting a few infected you stumbled upon on your way here, your venture was quite nice and after a delightful dinner with your hosts, you sneaked into Joel’s room with the bottle of wine Frank gave you and the stuff you smuggled yourself.

Joel didn’t seem to be having as much fun as you, though.

“I’m never drinkin’ with you again,” he muttered, sitting heavily on the couch with a grunt. You faked a pout, leaning over his head upside down and almost losing your balance.

“You’re grouchy because the stuff you brought tasted like shit.”

“And yet you drank most of it.”

“I didn’t,” you slurred, waltzing round the couch and grinning. “I’m feelin’ great.”

“Be careful or you’ll pick up my accent you so like pokin’ fun of.”

You snorted and flopped on the seat next to him. “Mhm, m’feelin’ fine and dandy,” you grumbled in the deepest voice you could make, ridiculously imitating his Texas drawl. “Yee-haw.”

“You’re the fuckin’ worst,” sighed Joel with exasperation but you could see a crooked smile tugging on his lips. You beamed and plopped down, laying your head on his lap. He peeked at you with his brows raised. “What are you doin’ now, you little devil?”

“Just resting,” you answered. The lamp behind Joel was blinding you with its light, so you covered your eyes with your hand to shield them. “Is that uncomfy for you? Do you want me to get up?”

“Nah. You can stay for a minute.”

As if wanting to make sure you won’t try to stand up, he laid his hand on your hair, brushing some of it to the back. You hummed and shivered when he gently scratched one specific spot on your scalp, and instinctively tilted your head, chasing his touch.

Joel snorted.

“You look like a goddamn cat.”

“Shut up,” you murmured in response, a small smile adoring your face. “It feels nice.”

You opened your eyes and once again shielded them from the lamp. Joel moved his head slightly to the side to block out the bothersome stimulus, causing you to giggle again.

“It looks like you have a halo ’round your head.” You lifted your arm and made a circle, brushing the side of his face when your hand plopped back down limply on your stomach. The older man huffed a smile, looking away to glance around the room.

“I’ll be really surprised if you remember anythin’ of what you’re sayin’ tomorrow.”

“Gimme a break,” you grumbled with a smile, not taking your eyes off him. Your hand raised itself to his face again, as if on its own accord, and brushed lightly the corner of his mouth and the stubble on his cheek. “It looks pretty.”

His brown irises flickered to you before he averted his gaze. With a hum you withdrew your hand and closed your eyes, your mind getting woozy from alcohol and tiredness.

Joel’s fingers were still running through your hair gently and you really hoped you’d remember it in the morning.

*****

3. road, somewhere in missouri

You had no idea how long you had been driving.

Ellie was asleep in the back seat and Joel was getting some well-deserved shut-eye after you volunteered to sit behind the wheel several hours ago. The clock on the dashboard was showing 4:07 and you planned on driving until the sun started to rise, then switching places with Joel.

That is, if you manage to stay awake.

You tried to drink some of the coffee Joel prepared beforehand to wake yourself up but it tasted horrible, leaving a too bitter taste on your tongue. Once you catched yourself closing your eyes for a second longer than intended and the car started to veer off course before you corrected it.

Yes, you were aware driving in this kind of state was extremely stupid, but you knew Joel was anxious to find his brother and drop Ellie off with the Fireflies as soon as possible. And you knew that if you wake him up he’ll insist on driving for the rest of the way himself, ignoring his own needs and exhaustion.

You risked a look to the side at his sleeping form. He had his arms crossed over his chest and his head propped against the headrest. Honestly, it looked like the man was just pretending to nap – his body seemed uptight, as if he was ready to spring into action at any second.

And he looked beautiful with his face bathed in the gray light of early morning. Like a painting you’d gladly admire for hours.

You sighed and cracked your neck, focusing on the road ahead of you. Several more hours to go. There was a gas tank in the back of the car, so you didn’t have to worry about that, and if you remembered correctly the map you and Joel studied earlier, you should get close to some bigger city in the late afternoon. Joel wanted to take the side roads and you agreed, but your supplies… Did you have enough of them? And what was the name of that city again…?

A hand grabbed the wheel and gently straightened the course when without you noticing the car started to veer too much to the left again.

You emerged from your reverie immediately and looked to the right at Joel who was now wide awake.

“You alright?” he asked with concern, and his voice had this enticing, raspy drawl to it that told you he really dozed off for a while.

“I’m so sorry,” you said quickly but quietly, not wanting to wake Ellie up. “I’m fine, promise.”

He eyed the tiredness on your face and the tight grip you had on the wheel.

“If you need to get some rest–”

“No, no, no. I can go on. Sorry you had to wake up.”

Joel grunted and stretched in the small space in the front seat and you tried really hard not to stare at how he craned his neck or at the way his muscles tensed, or at the strip of his skin revealed when his shirt rolled up…

“Pull over.”

You snapped out of your thoughts. “No. I told you I’m fine.”

“C’mon, darlin’, don’t make me wrestle with you in a movin’ vehicle.”

Either he had a clue about what this nickname was doing to you, or he was still half-asleep and it simply slipped out; but whether it was intentional or not, you couldn’t dream of opposing him now and with a defeated sigh (and burning neck) you pulled over, slowly bringing the car to a halt. You glanced backwards, but miraculously Ellie hadn’t woken up yet.

Joel looked you over with concern and you shut your eyes, laying your forehead on the steering wheel. “I’m sorry,” you repeated. “But I really can keep going, at least until the sun goes up.”

“We’re switchin’,” he just said, unfastening his seatbelt.

“Joel, no!” you hissed, but he ignored you and went around the hood of the car, stopping at your side and opening the door for you. “I’m not moving. You need to get some fucking rest.”

“I already did. Now scoot over.”

“No, I told you–”

“What’s going on? Are we there yet?”

Both of you looked back to see Ellie sitting up and rubbing her eyes. In a split second she went from half-awake to alert, and she eyed you and Joel suspiciously. “What’s going on?” she asked again.

“We’re switchin’ places,” Joel spoke up before you had a chance to answer the girl. “Our current driver is pretty tired.”

“I’m not!” you protested, glaring at him.

“You almost drove the car into a ditch.”

“Woah.” Ellie lifted her hands and puffed her cheeks in a nervous manner. “Just this time, I second Joel. I really don’t want to end up in a ditch, thank you very much.”

“You see?” Joel looked at you expectedly. “Outvoted.”

You squinted in the rearview mirror at the teen. “Traitor.”

Ellie just shrugged. With a heavy sigh you unfastened yourself and exited the car, but before you could go around it and take Joel’s previous place, he stuck his arm out, stopping you.

“Actually, Ellie, do you want to ride shotgun now?” he asked and nodded in your direction. “It’d do her good to lie down for a bit.”

“No,” you said firmly at the same time when Ellie agreed with an enthusiastic “hell yeah!”. You crossed your arms over your chest and glared at the pair. “You guys are in cahoots.”

“Boo-hoo,” Ellie had a mean smile on her face. “Get in the backseat and cry about it.”

“She’s so cheeky,” you murmured to Joel, trying to hide your smile, and by the look of it he had trouble doing that, too. You sighed and lifted your hands in surrender. “Alright, you two. You won.”

“Great.” Ellie grinned, then started walking off the street. “But give me a moment, dudes, I gotta pee,” she said before marching further into the field on the side of the road.

“Don’t go too far!” shouted Joel after her.

“Don’t drive off without me!”

With that Ellie disappeared behind a small hill and you turned back to your companion, scrunching your face at him. Joel shrugged and walked past you.

“C’mon. I’ll find you a blanket.”

You huffed but didn’t argue further, knowing nothing will change his mind. He could be stubborn as a mule sometimes.

You climbed into the backseat and waited for Joel to take out the blanket you took from Bill and Frank’s house from the back of the car. He opened the door next to your head and handed it over, waiting for you to unfurl it. You expected him to go take the driver’s seat right away, but he stayed in place. Only then you noticed the folded jacket he was holding in his hands.

He didn’t react at all to your raised eyebrows and questioning look, and just casually laid his jacket under your head to serve as a pillow. The gesture was so sweet it made you melt inside, and you just couldn’t stay mad at him.

“Promise me you’ll get some sleep.”

“Only if you and Ellie aren’t too loud,” you teased, trying to settle down the butterflies fluttering in your stomach. “If you start arguing about some stupid shit again, I’m taking the wheel from you by force.”

He smirked and squatted next to your seat, looking down at you with an amused expression.

“I’d like to see you try.”

You had to be really fucking tired, because for a split second you thought that Joel has just flirted with you. You hid your face in his jacket to partially conceal your smile, but it only made your face hotter because the material smelled of him so much.

“I could. You’re lucky I’m deciding to show mercy.”

“How gracious of you. I’m honored.

“But we’re swapping places when I wake up,” you added, looking at him as sternly as you could. He raised his eyebrows with a half-smile when a yawn escaped you immediately after. “I’m serious, Joel.”

“Sure, darlin’.” He leaned in and kissed your forehead before standing up. “Now sleep.”

You could only stare into space as he carefully closed the door next to your head and walked around the vehicle with heavy steps. The spot on your head where his lips touched your skin was tingling and you inhaled deeply to calm yourself down before he entered the truck again and fastened the seatbelt.

Joel put some cassette into the tape deck and turned the volume down even before the song started to play.

You closed your eyes and wrapped the blanket tighter around yourself, hiding the lower part of the face – and a blush spreading on your cheeks – under the cover.

*****

4. jackson

You looked out the window at the children pulling their sleds behind them and smiled at how happy and carefree they looked. Down the road you could just barely see the big Christmas tree in the square and for a moment it felt like the apocalypse had never happened.

“They’re pretty lucky to be growing up here,” you said quietly. Joel was closing and opening cabinets behind you, clearly looking for something.

“Not sure about it. But I guess it beats growin’ up in any of the QZ’s or Fedra’s barracks.”

After Joel’s sudden change of heart and Ellie’s confident decision that she’d rather travel with you both instead of Tommy, the younger Miller convinced his brother to stay one more day in Jackson. It was honestly a good idea because you doubted any of you three got any rest the previous night. You certainly didn’t, tossing and turning the entire time from worry.

Joel chuckled and the sound pulled you out of your thoughts.

“What did you find?” you asked. He was kneeling in front of one of the cabinets, holding a small box.

“Old cassettes. You want to listen to some music?”

“Sure.” You stood up with a smile. “It’ll be pretty atmospheric.”

Joel gave you a dirty look.

“I’m not putting on Christmas carols.”

“I don’t want to listen to Christmas carols. Find something good.”

He sighed and took out a carton box from the cabinet, and then started to rummage through it. “Alright, so what do you want?”

“You can choose. Pick something you think I’d like.” A thought struck you and you glanced around the living room, furrowing your brows. “Is there even any tape player in here or something like that?”

“Upstairs,” Joel mumbled absent-mindedly. “In Ellie’s room. We can go see if it works.”

Ellie was out exploring Jackson and you doubted she’ll be back very soon. You knelt down next to Joel, looking at him with a grin as he inspected the box, pulling out and reading some of the cassettes before putting them back down. You rested your chin on your hands.

“Just get anything,” you ushered after some time, to which he chuckled.

“You said to pick somethin’ you’d like. Gimme some time.”

“Do you think I’m that picky?”

“Of course you are.”

You rolled your eyes but didn’t have to wait much longer before Joel stood up with a grunt and held out his hand to you. In the other one he held a white cassette.

“C’mon. I’m pretty sure you’re gonna love this one.”

You took his hand with excitement and let yourself be pulled to your feet. It’s been so long since you’ve been able to listen to some music – well, maybe not as long, but you missed it regardless – that you felt a bubbly joy at the thought of hearing something new.

And more than that, something that Joel has picked specifically for you. Doesn’t matter that you had to ask him.

You went upstairs to the room that was currently Ellie’s bedroom and Joel bent down, inserting the cassette into the tape player. He looked over his shoulder at you with a small smile and you beamed right back.

A loud, scratchy sound rang out.

You winced and Joel furrowed his brows. He took the cassette out, checked the empty slot and the cassette itself, and then made sure the power was on.

The first notes started to play, but they sounded distorted, like a scratched record. Joel cursed and tried again, but there must’ve been something wrong with the device, because no matter what he did, the music didn’t play right.

He tried again and again, and finally you decided to put a stop to it. You placed your hand on his shoulder.

“Leave it, Joel. It’s okay.”

“Just my fuckin’ luck,” he muttered, not turning around. “Of course Tommy gave us a place without a working cassette player.”

“It’s okay,” you repeated. You wanted to say something like ’the song probably isn’t even worth fussing over’, but the words got stuck in your throat. He picked it for you to listen to, of course it was worth it. “Maybe I just wasn’t meant to hear it.”

The man worried his lip and you quickly averted your gaze. He straightened up and put his hands on his hips, sighing.

“Nonsense,” he answered, looking intently at the device like he wanted to get it to work by sheer willpower. “You wanted to hear it.”

“Well, I did.” You got embarrassed for whatever reason, not knowing what to say. “But there’s not really anything we can do about that. It’s no big deal.”

Joel’s jaw twitched and he turned to look at you thoughtfully. You offered him a lopsided smile, but he didn’t move a muscle and you could almost imagine small gears turning in his head when he had this expression on his face.

“You okay?” you asked with a stifled laugh.

“I… have an idea,” he said slowly, almost hesitantly. Then he focused his eyes on you again. “Just… trust me for a moment.”

Your gaze softened and you took a step closer to him.

“Joel, of course I trust you. I trust you with my life.”

His Adam’s apple bobbed but his brown irises haven’t left yours for even a second.

“Close your eyes.”

“What?” you asked with a crooked smile, but he just shook his head.

“C’mon, close your eyes. And promise you won’t laugh.”

Confusion washed over you but you closed your eyes as requested. You heard Joel sighing and then he took your hand in his calloused and rough one, slowly putting it on his shoulder. Your neck got way too hot but you tried not to tense or flinch in fear of making him back out.

“Promise you won’t laugh,” he repeated and you just now realized you haven’t answered him. He put his hand on your waist, very, very lightly, and your other hand was raised to  shoulder height, cradled in his warm one.

“I swear I won’t,” you whispered, your heart beating so damn loud you were scared he was going to hear it with how close you two were.

Joel exhaled heavily and you felt his breath on your hair.

And then he started to hum quietly and sway you gently from side to side. You desperately tried to remain calm, but how were you supposed to do that when your body felt so hot and he was so close–

“I reached inside myself and found nothin’ there… to ease the pressure… of my ever-worrying mind, hmm…”

Joel’s voice was deep and harsh right in front of you, and it sounded more like he was purring than singing. You suspected he slowed down the pace of the song significantly to match his movements and your heart swelled with warmth and adoration. The smile on your face widened and you took a step to the left, then to the right, gradually engaging in your dance more and more. You wanted to make it less uncomfortable and awkward for him and it seemed to have worked a bit because the next lines were much more confident, and his voice steadier.

“All my power wasted ’way, fear the crazed and lonely looks the mirror’s sendin’ me these days, hmm…”

His hold on you tightened slightly and you held his hand a little more securely, unable to hold back a goofy smile on your face.

“Touch me… how can it be? Believe me… the sun always shines on TV.”

You were falling for him all over again and it was not fair that he made you promise to keep your eyes closed. Though if he didn’t, you’d probably end up doing something dumb.

Like kissing him.

Fuck, you wanted to kiss him so bad.

“Hold me… close to your heart. Touch me… Give all your love to me. To me…”

Did he just pull you closer or was it you that took a step forward? It was hard to tell without seeing where you step, but you suddenly were very aware of the material of his shirt under your chin and the smell of shampoo he used to wash his hair, the pressure of his hand on your lower back and his quiet, drawling voice right next to your ear.

You were positive you’re about to pass out.

And it felt blissful.

Joel kept humming the chorus of the song, his voice getting softer and lower with each word. You relished in the warmth of his embrace, begging any higher power that he won’t let go of you immediately once he stops singing.

He didn’t.

Instead you two kind of naturally came to a stop but neither of you moved, still standing chest to chest and breathing a bit shakily. Your palm – or maybe it was his – was sweaty, but you ignored the unpleasant feeling, wanting to stay like this as long as possible.

“The original is much more lively,” Joel spoke in a soft whisper after some time and you smiled lightly.

“Well, I really liked your version,” you answered just as quietly, not wanting to disturb the intimate atmosphere in the room. “Joel?”

“Yes, darlin’?”

“Can I open my eyes now?”

A moment of silence.

“Yeah.”

You did so, but didn’t move your head, still keeping it on his shoulder and breathing in his scent. “Thank you for that,” you whispered and you felt him nodding.

“Anytime.”

His fingers crept a bit higher up your spine, but still his touch was so light and unsure.

You realized with a flicker of hope that he wasn’t pushing you away. He was pulling you closer.

Careful not to move too abruptly, you lifted your head and turned it to look him in the eyes. They were already on you, so very close, warm and hesitant, but also not showing any signs of discomfort or regret.

“Joel?” you asked again and you were so close to each other, it came out less as a question and more like a quiet breath. He heard it, though.

“Yeah?”

“Can I–”

Suddenly the door downstairs slammed extremely loudly and you both jumped when the noise broke the heavy silence.

“Hello! Is anybody here?!”

Ellie came back.

Both of you automatically took a step backwards, letting go of each other. Your face was scorching hot and you couldn’t force yourself to look at Joel. With a deep (hopefully unnoticed by the man standing right in front of you) breath, you quickly tried to get a grip on yourself when you heard Ellie running up the stairs.

“I was calling you, guys!” she panted and looked from you to the older man. “What’s up?”

“We…” Joel cleared his throat. “Tried to put some music on. The darn thing isn’t workin’, though.”

“Ugh, that’s a bummer.” Ellie turned to you and tilted her head. “Were you out, too? Your face is all red and shit.”

Even if it wasn’t before, it certainly was now. All attention shifted to you in a second and it made you want to cry.

“Yes,” you uttered quickly, “and… I’m actually going out again. I wanted to ask Maria something.”

You didn’t wait for any of them to stop or question you further – you all but ran down the stairs and bolted outside without even taking a jacket or a hat.

Fuck…

Fuck, fuck, fuck!

*****

5. basement, somewhere in colorado

He was dying.

Joel was dying and there was nothing you could do to help him.

You tried your hardest, though, to take care of both him and Ellie. You went out hunting so she wouldn’t have to starve, you encouraged her to get as much rest as possible while you watched over the unconscious man during the night, and not once did you show any doubt that Joel will get better.

But you had a feeling she knew why you were so reluctant to stay behind while the girl took her turn looking for food.  The truth was, you were starting to crack if you sat for too long at Joel’s side, letting the intrusive thoughts take root in your mind. You needed those moments outside, because they were the only ones when you let your tears flow.

So when it was only you and him in the basement, you spent this time brushing the hair out of his face and coaxing him to drink. You checked his wound every so often, trying to keep it as clean as possible. You held his hand, humming to him that one song he sang for you in Jackson, though you didn’t know the words.

It was painful, to just sit in place and be unable to do anything to help, but you tried not to break down. Not when both of them counted on you.

So you stayed strong, hoping it’ll all turn out alright.

But luck still wasn’t on your side.

The men Ellie encountered the day before were here now, looking for you and Joel, and hungry for blood. She told you all about her interaction with them and since yesterday you were ready for a fight in case they showed up, but somehow it still surprised you and made your heart hammer in your chest in fear.

There wasn’t anywhere you could run to, and Joel wasn’t even able to keep his eyes open, let alone walk. You didn’t really have any other options.

So there was only one thing you could do, and that was to protect those closest to you.

You quickly took your backpack and passed Ellie your gun, closing her fingers around the cold metal.

“I’ll barricade the door, but if anyone comes in here, you blast their skull open, you hear me?” you whispered urgently and the girl nodded. You took Joel’s rifle from the floor and hung it over your shoulder. “I’ll try to take them out and lead them away. I’ll be back.”

“You better come back,” Ellie muttered and you looked at her softly, nodding. Then your gaze involuntarily shifted to Joel.

You didn’t know how many people were outside – if there were three or four of them, you should be able to shoot most of them before they notice you. If you don’t miss, that is.

But if there were more…

Choking back a nervous sob, you knelt next to the mattress and took Joel’s head in your hands. His eyes were only half-open and his forehead covered in sweat. Your heart clenched painfully at how weak he looked.

Acting on impulse, you leaned down and softly kissed the place above the corner of his mouth.

“Wake up,” you said to him firmly, brushing his cheeks with your thumbs. “Please, Joel. Ellie and I need you.”

You knew you had to go. You had to go now and make sure those fuckers outside don’t find Ellie and him.

But you stayed just for a second longer to press your forehead to his.

“I love you,” you whispered, so quietly you barely heard yourself.

And then you pulled away and ran upstairs.

From then on it was all a blur. You managed to kill one of the men with a clean shot between his eyes, but the other one ducked out of the way when he noticed you. Turned out there were six of them – too many – and what’s worse, one of them came up behind you, forcing you to flee sooner than you’d planned.

It would probably be wiser to take the horse but you didn’t want to endanger the poor creature, so you ran on foot.

You didn’t get far. One of the men managed to shoot you in the leg, making you keel over onto the frozen ground with a scream of pain. You turned around and saw him lifting his gun again before another voice yelled that he wanted you alive.

No. No, no, you weren’t about to let them take you.

You crawled towards where your rifle lay in the snow but just before you could reach it, it was kicked away by a heavy boot which then dealt a severe blow to your stomach. You doubled over, wheezing and coughing for air. By the time you managed to somehow catch your breath, someone pressed their foot on the gunshot wound in your calf, forcing a scream of agony out of you.

“Now, stay calm. I don’t want to shoot you.”

You clutched at your leg, glaring up at the ginger man who you suspected was the same David Ellie has encountered.

The man grinned nastily at the state you were in, and you didn’t like his expression one bit. He must’ve noticed that you were ready to lunge at him at any moment because he swiftly lifted his gun to your head. You froze.

“Where is your friend and the girl?” he asked quietly. You sneered at him, baring your teeth.

“Fuck you. I ain’t telling you shit.”

“David, she killed Paul,” spat another, younger one, looking down at you with hatred. “If that bastard has already died, let’s at least kill his bitch.”

You tried to think of a way to get out of this situation, but both of the men had their guns pointed at you and you knew you wouldn’t be able to move quickly enough with the gunshot wound.

You tried to move slightly but David pressed his foot harder on your leg, causing more blood to flow from your wound and you cried out, the pain clouding your vision.

“Don’t try anything, sweetheart,” he murmured in a warning tone. “You might bleed out.”

Your eyes were full of hate and rage but you didn’t dare to move again just yet.

“Where are they?” David asked again and you huffed a humorless chuckle while trying not to show how much pain you were in.

“You know that it was me who killed that idiot?” you asked in the most mocking tone you could muster, in the meantime desperately thinking how the fuck you were going to get out of here, preferably alive. “And your friend over there.” You nodded in the direction of where the body of the man you shot was lying. “Which one of you stood next to him? Was it you?” you asked the younger man who shot you in the leg. “I hope I hadn’t splattered you too much with the remnants of his brain.”

“You little bitch,” the other man sneered, lifting his gun again despite David’s stern order to back off. “I’d love to see the face of your friend when I blast your–”

“Leave her alone, you fuckers!!”

All of you turned your heads and your stomach churned when you saw Ellie on the horse you borrowed from Tommy. More shots rang out in the air when she blindly fired at the two men standing above you, and then the rest of the strangers who emerged from between the trees.

“Alive!!” David yelled after his men when they started chasing Ellie who grabbed the reins and cantered in the opposite direction. Then the man turned back to you. “We will catch her. Then we will find your friend, and he’ll pay for his sins.”

You growled.

“I told you it wasn’t him who killed that man.” He shook his head and you fumed with anger. “You don’t think I’m capable of that?”

“Oh, I think you’re capable of a lot.” His stare slid down your body, from head to toe, and terror gripped your heart at the sadistic excitement in his eyes. “And I think you must really care about him if you’re ready to trade your life for his. Such loyalty is admirable, but your love is misplaced.”

The snow around you was getting more and more red and you really started to worry that the bullet might’ve hit an artery. David’s eyes shifted to your leg as well, and he hummed.

“We’ll take care of that, don’t worry. You’ll be well taken care of in our community.”

“I don’t want to be any part of your fucked up sect.”

“You will. You just need a father to lead you to the right path.” He leaned over you in such a manner that it made your blood run cold. “I’ll teach you personally.”

Suddenly a shot echoed in the air and you heard a distant neighing of a horse. Your head automatically turned in the direction of the noise and David took advantage of your moment of distraction to strike your temple with his gun, thus knocking you unconscious.

*****

+1. silver lake

Joel woke up.

And he felt like he was made out of pure adrenaline and rage.

You weren’t with Ellie when he found her staggering through the snow, the face of the teen terrified and covered in blood. He comforted her as best as he could, relief and fear fighting inside him as he held the girl in his arms.

But she didn’t know where you were held. If you were even alive.

And that was a thought that Joel couldn’t bear. He wouldn’t even allow for the possibility that you were no longer…

He vaguely remembered you stroking his cheek with slow and delicate touches, and your humming while he was laying on the mildewed mattress in the basement. Maybe it wasn’t even a memory, but a dream – it was hard to tell in his delirious state.

But he was pretty sure he wasn’t hallucinating when he felt soft, cold lips right next to his and heard your voice – he knew it was your voice, he’d recognize it anywhere – whispering the words he never let himself hope you’d say to him.

Words he would be damned if he didn’t say back to you.

And that’s why he was merciless with the men he encountered on his way to you and Ellie. His own tiredness and pain piercing his abdomen didn’t matter – nothing mattered when you two weren’t with him, when he didn’t know if you were hurt or even still breathing. The desire to help and protect his girls numbed the pain in his stomach so much that he almost forgot he could barely stand just a few hours ago.

Once he found Ellie and took her to a safe location, he went back to look for you. He didn’t want to leave the girl alone, but she seemed terrified at the prospect of going back and through the buildings, so he left her his gun, promising to be right back.

One of the bastards Joel ran across on his way back was helpful enough (after being shot in both knees and having his forearm broken) to direct him to the place where you were supposedly being held – a small building hidden behind the still burning dining room.

No one else stood in his way when he cautiously reached the structure. He went in and started checking every single room, getting more and more anxious every time he found them empty. At one point he was ready to tear the walls apart and go back to see if there was anyone left alive who could tell him where you were – but then spotted a hidden, smaller metal door, which apparently led to the basement.

It wasn’t locked and Joel didn’t hear anything on the other side so he opened it slowly, quickly walking down the stairs and scanning the room for any enemies, but there were none. Half of the room was enclosed by a chain-link fence and the entry to the cage was slightly open.

And inside sat you, with a cloth around your eyes and hands tied above your head.

His knees almost gave way under him from relief when you perked up at the sound of his footsteps. You were alive. You were–

“If you fucking try to touch me again, I’ll break more than your stupid jaw!” you yelled out of the blue, starting to struggle and kick haphazardly, though the placement of your wrists was forcing you to stay in a sitting position. “You motherfucker, don’t come any closer!”

The fear and desperation in your voice broke Joel’s heart in an instant and made him stop dead in his tracks.

“It’s me,” he hurried to say, but his voice was weak and the next words got stuck in his throat when he saw your bloodied nose, bruises on your face and neck, as well as a dirty bandage tied around your calf with a seizable crimson stain on it.

He ushered inside, opening the door to the cell wide open with a loud scraping. You started panicking even more, cursing and kicking when he crouched next to you, intending to untie your hands.

“I said don’t fucking touch me! I’ll kill you!” you screamed and Joel actually had to back away a little to avoid getting kicked in the ribs.

“It’s me!” he said louder, but it was clear you didn’t hear him. In a quick movement he reached out, yanking the blindfold off your eyes, and put his hands on both sides of your face. “It’s me. Joel.”

In the first moment his touch made you recoil and the look of fury deepened on your face while you continued to scream bloody murder. Your eyes were so wild and terrified, Joel wanted nothing more than to pull you close to his chest and never let go. 

“Look at me, baby. It’s alright,” he whispered soothingly, brushing his thumbs over your cheekbones like he vaguely remembered you doing when he was unconscious. “It’s me. I won’t let anyone hurt you.”

Your eyes slowly started to focus on his face for the first time since he took the blindfold off, and Joel felt like something was tearing his chest apart at the sight of fear and disbelief on your face.

“It’s okay, darlin’,” he muttered in a strangled voice, trying not to show he was close to crying, too. “It’s me. You’re safe now.”

A broken sob issued from your throat when you took in the sight of him, your eyes lingering on his face and stomach where the wound was.

“...Joel?”

“I’m here,” he said softly, quickly cutting the ropes binding you to the indent in the wall and wincing when he saw the red and purple marks around your wrists. “It’s okay.”

It wasn’t okay, not for you and not for him. Your body was trembling when he finally cut your hands free and without hesitation gathered you in his arms. It seemed like all the bottled up stress was pouring out of you now with the tears as you cried into his jacket and he held you tighter.

“J-Joel…”

“I know, babygirl,” he whispered into your hair, rocking you both back and forth slightly. You were clinging to him almost desperately and it pained him physically to see how scared you’ve been this whole time, but you were safe now, you were back with him and you were alive… “I know. I’m so sorry.”

You pulled away abruptly and looked over his shoulder, your face crumpling in despair when you saw no one there.

“They took Ellie, I don’t know where–”

“She’s safe,” he quickly assured you. “She got out and I found her just before comin’ here.”

You nodded with a sigh of relief, and he shifted his gaze to your calf, gently laying his hand just above the bandage.

“How’s your leg? Can you walk?”

“One of those fuckers shot me,” you murmured, not moving or attempting to stand up, which concerned Joel. “I didn’t really have a chance to see if I’ll be able to stand on my own but they sewed it up provisionally.” Your eyes flickered to his and you smiled softly, brushing your fingers over the back of his hand. “Not as well as you, though.” Then your smile disappeared and your hand grabbed his in a firm grip, like you wanted to make sure he was really here. “How are you, though? I was… Shit, I was so afraid I’d lose you.”

Joel could only stare at you, having no clue what to say.

He was not good at talking. He knew what he should do, though – he should examine your leg and make sure it was alright, he should go back to Ellie and get you two out of here, he should calm down his goddamn pounding heart so that he doesn’t pass out and cause you any more trouble.

But he couldn’t will his muscles to move. He couldn’t do anything, he couldn’t think about anything at all – not when you were sitting in front of him, looking at him with those tearful, gorgeous eyes of yours, holding his hand so tenderly but firmly, your touch so soothing, so familiar, and he remembered vaguely the same fingertips caressing his face.

And your voice, those words…

You said his name haltingly, but he didn’t register any of that, instead letting the overwhelming feelings of relief and fear, and – and adoration – take hold over his body, and he affectionately took your beautiful face in his hands.

Your eyes widened slightly but then these irises he dreamt about so often flickered to his lips and your own parted slightly, and that was all he needed before he leaned in and kissed you deeply.

There was a moment of hesitation on your part during which Joel began to worry that he didn’t read the situation right after all, but then you cupped his cheeks, too, and pressed yourself closer to him, letting him envelop your form in his arms with a quiet sigh.

It was better than he could have ever imagined. He could taste a hint of blood on your lips and hot, blinding rage surged through his veins at the thought of those bastards hurting you. His kiss turned harder and more desperate – he needed to make sure you were really here with him, he wanted to feel your every breath in his own lungs. You didn’t pull away, only tangling your fingers in his short hair, and the small noises you were making were driving Joel crazy with lust and relief. He felt dizzy, like he was going to faint again but he pushed through it, keeping his attention solely on you.

The second you two parted, even before you had a chance to catch your breath, the words started spilling out of his mouth fumblingly.

“Listen, I… I heard you,” he whispered, panting like he just ran a mile – and his heart certainly acted like he did. “M’pretty sure I wasn’t halucinatin’, but even if– doesn’t matter, I want… no, I need to tell you this, I…”

He exhaled nervously and shook his head, avoiding eye contact with you because he was damn sure he'd burst into flames if you looked at him like that again.

Fuck, he was really not good at this.

He cursed under his breath, missing a concerned look you gave him, and felt your hand covering his where it was still situated on your cheek. He knew that with this gesture you wanted to make it easier for him somehow, but it only caused his chest to get even warmer and tighter. “Joel, slow down–”

“I… I love you,” he finally choked out, softly brushing your cheekbones with his thumbs. And damn his old, faulty heart, he wanted to gaze into your eyes again, even if it was going to kill him, so that’s exactly what he did. “I loved you for so long, darlin’, and I got so fuckin’ scared that I won’t be able to tell you and, and it’s okay if I only imagined you saying that and you don’t feel that way, but I needed to tell you, I…”

All strength left him when he paused to draw a breath. His vision was becoming blurry and for a second he was certain he’s losing consciousness again, but it turned out they were only tears filling his eyes, blurring your form before him.

Which was even worse, somehow.

“I’m sorry.” He intended to sound reassuring and strong but it came out more like a broken whisper and he hated himself for feeling so weak and helpless when you and Ellie needed comfort and strength. He couldn’t help it though – all this time when he was looking for his girls the only things that kept him going were anger, terror and regret. Now there was relief, yes, but… he felt so very tired and old.

You turned your head slightly to plant a soft kiss on the inside of his palm, and Joel’s head snapped up. Tears were filling your eyes and he immediately scanned your body for other injuries, any signs of damage or pain, but then this gorgeous smile he so loved illuminated your face, and it put all of his anxieties at ease.

“You weren’t hallucinating,” you said quietly. “I did say that. And I love you, too, Joel.”

He couldn’t help a short, breathless and broken laugh that escaped him when he really heard you speaking those words, this time as clearly as day.

You sniffled and mirrored his smile, and in the next second Joel was kissing you again.

He knew you two had to go, had to get back to Ellie and leave this god-forsaken place, so he tried to be quick, but you – your smile, your touch, all of you – were so distracting and not eager to help him pull away in the slightest.

“I love you too, babygirl, love you so much.” He peppered your face with kisses, ignoring tears running down his cheeks and disappearing into his beard and under your hands. “So fuckin’ much… Don’t ever scare me like that again.”

“Because your old heart can’t handle it?” you teased and he huffed a laugh. A damn tease in every situation, he wanted to say, but before he had a chance to chide you, you pulled him in for another deep kiss. Joel decided you’re off the hook this time.

“Exactly, darlin’. Now hold onto my arm, we’re gonna see if you can stand, and then we’re goin’ back to Ellie.”

A hiss and a grunt of pain escaped you when he attempted to pull you to your feet, but you gritted your teeth and shook your head quickly when he froze, worry evident on his face. Turned out you could stand on your own and even slowly limp forward, but clearly had to push through intense pain to do so. Joel offered you his shoulder (against which his tired body protested immediately) but it made walking easier for you, so he sucked it up.

“I got you,” he whispered when he helped you up the stairs, keeping an arm around your waist for support. You whimpered every time you had to climb up a step, and Joel took hold of your hand, brushing his thumb over your skin lovingly. “That’s a good girl. Just a couple more.”

You didn’t let go of his hand even after these ‘couple more’ steps.

He kept his hand on your shoulder when you finally got reunited with Ellie and tears of relief spilled out of your eyes.

You tangled your fingers with his when the three of you were leaving this cursed, cruel place.

You all held each other when Ellie broke down and you both hugged her tightly, trying to make her feel safe again.

He hooked his little finger over yours, not wanting to drag you down when he started to lean on you, getting significantly weaker from how far he traveled and how hard he fought in the state he was in.

You grasped his hand again that night when you laid down next to him in his sleeping bag while Ellie was curled close to the two of you on Joel’s other side.

He didn’t let go when he leaned in to kiss you again, keeping his touch soft and gentle, and pulled you as close as he could, murmuring words of love and sweet promises into your hair.

Both of you knew you had a lot to talk about in the upcoming days – and probably even weeks. All three of you needed time to heal, physically as well as mentally.

But just for this moment, Joel couldn’t be happier and more relieved as it was slowly dawning on him that after this horrible, hellish nightmare, he had both of you right next to him, breathing and alive, and not chased by anyone for now. Two persons he loved in very different ways, but who were his entire world, whether he was ready to admit it or not.

As if reading his thoughts, you shifted slightly and kissed the edge of his jaw sleepily. His eyes closed, hiding the wetness in them.

He really couldn’t believe his luck.

[helenofsparta2]

This sentence haunts me a bit.

Because after everything that Sally has sacrificed to ensure Percy’s safety, after suffering physical, emotional and psychological abuse from Gabe for years, sending Percy to probably very expensive private schools, and still managing to remain kind, baking him cookies, and giving him blue candies whenever he felt bad, and never raising her voice at him, she was still doomed to fail at fully protecting him.

Because to save Percy from getting killed by gods, and monsters, she had to invite a monster into their very home. She had to “condemn” Percy to receive physical and emotional abuse during crucial stages of his life, resulting in dangerously low self-esteem, self-hatred and even suicidal tendencies; issues which follow him throughout every single book.

By the time he was twelve, his self-esteem was so low that Percy even believed Sally didn’t want him around at the start of The Lightning Thief.

Sally, whom he thought the world of. Sally, who is, in his eyes, the kindest, most loving person in the world.

I can’t even begin to imagine how much that thought would mess with a twelve-year-old boy’s mind.

Like, I know we as a fandom see them as the most healthy and best possible mother-son bond ever, and I’m not denying that they absolutely love one another, would do anything for each other or that Sally did not do her absolute best to protect him, but their relationship is in actuality way more nuanced and heartbreaking than we tend to acknowledge most of the time.

[blingblong55]

This love - Vladimir Makarov

Based on a request:

Oh, as a request idea what would be about Makarov and wife! reader for whom he'd burn the world and she got injured during a fight with an opposing tean having him go rampant at everyone until he holds her again? With a fluffy ending mayhaps?

(also I absolutely loved The Great War 💕) --- F!Reader, fluff, established!relationship, in love with the villain, wife!reader, husband!Makarov, protective!husband --- A/N: I always said, Makarov embodies 'I'll burn the world for you, for what they did to you.' I will never back down from that. Also, I'm glad you liked The Great War :)

Red. That is all he saw, how dare they hurt his wife! No one and he means no one can ever in their fucking miserable lives touch you, never and that is a threat. He hated them, for all they are worth, Kasper Team is a dead organisation. Did he need their blood? Yes, his wife, his darling wife got hurt and oh will they pay for what they did. You walk into the room, his gaze softens, his fist opens and he smiles. How can the world be so cruel to him? Making him the evil man and then giving him a pretty lady like you and making him turn into the softest of men.

"My love," he speaks to you, nods the man off so he can be alone with you and opens his arms. "Don't hurt them," you speak and he looks at you, cupping your face and shaking his head. "I must. No one can touch you, sometimes I feel as if I don't deserve the privilege of touching you. You are an angel maybe a little bit of a devil but you…oh, you are my angel and no one should touch or hurt you," his lips meet your forehead. This is always the same discussion, he is so cruel, so evil, so vile primarily if you were hurt. And you always found yourself not wanting him to stop, it is a dangerous form of devotion that you two have. Something neither of you want to stop, to never lose. For you, he would tear the world apart, he would hold you in his warm arms as you two watch with glee as the world falls apart.

For you, he would drench himself in blood, only to have you kiss him, wipe the blood off and still see him as the man of your fantasies. Call it wicked call it anything you please, but his love, oh his loving heart is dangerous and fun. It is the kind of love no man should play with. Not even the evil of monsters dared to touch that dark corner but you did and that evolved into something so beautifully treacherous. He'll tell you anything if you only ask it of him. It's trust, truthfulness, devotion, lust, poison and an anecdote found between lips, warm hugs, sex, and all else those eyes of yours and his fail to say when they look at the other.

To him, having you was brighter than the sun in that blue sky. Your caress was a warm blanket on a snowy day. A room full of bloodthirsty soldiers could go silent when you walked in and into his arms. No one dared question you, never and he would make sure of that. Your kiss, possessing him, taking control of his soul and making it your slave. His heart, that long has been proven to belong to you, to have your name carved in it the second he was born. Stars aligned or not, he was yours, your fool, soldier, lover and friend. He is the darkness, the one you found comfort in.

He cares for you. That's why, he sent his men to hunt down all those responsible for your injury. "Come here, let me hold you," he walks to his chair, sitting down and making you sit on his lap. His arms held you close to him like he needed to have his skin and yours mixed together. It's perfect, you're perfect. He looks at the plans for how he will end that organisation and then smiles, kisses your neck and hums as he nuzzles his face to your body. He isn't like anyone, for if he was, Shakespeare would have done a play about him and it would be that in this case, the villain wins. You drink your poison for him and he does the same for you. Never one without the other. He made sure of that.

They say, that what feeds wars is hate, for him, this new war is revenge. You turn to him, wondering what is going on in his head. And as if he was listening to your thoughts he smiles, "You. I'm thinking of you, how lucky I am…how lucky I got to have a wonderful soul, my wife, my lovely R/N to love me back." His thumb touches your bottom lip. He was in a trance, one you knew well. In his mind, Vladimir always thought of when he met you, how he fell in love with you and how his cold heart started to get warm again. Your eyes, oh that sweet stare that made him into the poem reader he has become. So, when he looks deep into your eyes, he cups your face with both of his hands and begins to recite a poem for you.

O my Luve is like a red, red rose That’s newly sprung in June; O my Luve is like the melody That’s sweetly played in tune.

So fair art thou, my bonnie lass, So deep in luve am I; And I will luve thee still, my dear, Till a’ the seas gang dry.

Till a’ the seas gang dry, my dear, And the rocks melt wi’ the sun; I will love thee still, my dear, While the sands o’ life shall run.

And fare thee weel, my only luve! And fare thee weel awhile! And I will come again, my luve, Though it were ten thousand mile. (A Red, Red Rose by Robert Burns)

Your eyes are teary and beautiful. "Don't doubt for a second I will hesitate to hurt the man who hurt you," he whispers and kisses you once more. Like a precious cascade, his love pours into your lips. No one knew but behind closed doors, in safe arms and on a reading nook, he held you close, a book in his hands as he read to you poems or stories. Your hands by his thighs as the autumn skies cast your shadows. Love, yeah….this is perfect, this love is the embodiment of calm love.

A/N: so...now in my head, it's canon this man reads poetry

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[daiziesssart]

a humiliatingly long character analysis of lily evans

Someone sent me an ask that briefly mentioned how misunderstood Lily is, and before I knew it I was typing out this monster. I am. sorry. This is literally just me rambling about her, what I find compelling about her character, and why her character is so often misunderstood.

This is long as hell so I'm putting it under a read more lolol

Part of the reason I like Lily so much (other than my being ginger and projecting onto any redheaded female character I see) is that even though she isn’t explored as much as her other Marauders Era counterparts, we know enough about her to start building the framework for her character. And what I see is a girl who was incredibly interesting, kind, and flawed.

One thing I always think about in regards to Lily is that she was dealt with a pretty unfair hand. As soon as she receives her letter, she’s basically torn between two worlds, both of which have been less than welcome to her. On one hand, we have the muggle world that she’s known all her life, but once she starts integrating into the wizarding world, she likely feels a bit of a disconnect with that world. To twist the knife further, her sister- whom she loved dearly and grew up so close with- starts outwardly resenting her with such unbridled hostility that they likely couldn’t even be in a room alone together without major conflict. 

On the other hand, we have the wizarding world– a world she’s not as familiar with and one she soon learns holds a demographic of people who hate everything she is and would rather see her excommunicated or even dead. And even though finding out you’re a witch/wizard is probably such an exciting and life-changing moment, I can’t help but also take note of the difficulties, especially if you’re the only one in your family with magic. You’re essentially uprooted from the only way of life you’ve known at an already complicated age, and now you have to quickly become acclimated to this new world that you only just found out existed. Not only that, but now you’re suddenly attending a school with classes that are primarily focused on this world of magic (which is still brand new to you), and you have to work extra hard to play catch up in order to do well. Like, that all seems like… a lot for a kid to handle.

And then I remember how young she was when she was thrown into that mess. She was only 11, and kids that age desperately crave any sense of belonging. I mean, that’s something that still holds true for adults, but it’s especially critical for a developing child. So imagine Lily, ages 11-15, struggling to stay afloat in this weird purgatory between these two parts of herself, both of which have been the cause for major and traumatic experiences relating to rejection in her life.

(I say it was the “cause” even though it’s obvious that those things were never her fault at all, but when you’re a young kid navigating the world, the only thing you’re able to process is that the common denominator is you, therefore you’re the one who must shoulder the blame.)

So now we have this tween-teenaged girl who has a dysfunctional relationship with two major parts of identity and probably feels absolutely lost. 

This is why her hesitancy to end her friendship with Snape makes sense to me. Even though by fifth year he’s already well past toeing the line with the dark arts, Lily was willing to overlook some pretty egregious and troubling things in order to maintain the relationship. I kind of interpret that as her way of desperately clinging on to any sense of belonging she has left; her relationship with Petunia has already been poisoned, and now there are people who resent her existence as a witch; if she loses Severus too, what and who else does she have? And what tone does that set for her, if everyone and everything she’s come to hold close to her ends up turning her away?

It’s also important to note that not only is Severus one of her few remaining connections to the muggle world, but he’s also a wizard who grew up in the muggle world; he understands her, and I don’t doubt that he gave her some stability at times when she needed it (her finding out about her being a witch, her having trouble acclimating to the wizarding world, etc).

I see this as being one of her flaws and I can actually appreciate how relatable and realistic it feels. Lily is not a bad person; on the contrary, you’d be hard pressed to find anyone to describe her as such. Not to get all clinical and boring, but the interesting thing about (unhealthy) coping mechanisms is that it can actually be really hard to identify them in your own behavior. Unless you’re in therapy and/or are actively psychoanalyzing yourself, you likely don’t even realize how many of your common behaviors are born from self defense mechanisms put in place by your brain after past events.

To me, it makes sense why she avoided actually confronting the idea that Snape was too far gone. We know that she was aware of the path Severus was taking, but it almost seems like she was still convinced that she could save him, and could possibly steer him back in the right direction. It’s only when she becomes the target of his bigotry that she realizes that the Snape who called her a ‘mudblood’ was not the same Severus who was the one who held her hand and introduced her to this new, exciting world.

In a general sense, yes, it is selfish, to only take a stand when something starts affecting you personally. But I also think it’s important to note that it’s unlikely that this was a conscious decision on Lily’s part. In my eyes, it was easier to delude herself into thinking she still had a chance to save him before it was too late when she was able to separate him from his actions (considering, a lot of the time, she was only hearing about them after the fact, rather than seeing them firsthand). But the elusion is shattered once she sees that the Snape she grew up with– her friend, Severus– is, in fact, the same person who’s out there calling other students slurs, dismissing the malicious use of Dark Magic on others as just “a laugh”. There we see a Lily who is actually revealed to have been somewhat aware of Snape’s involvement with the darker side of magic, and genuinely feels pretty ashamed about her inaction.

Also, this is in no way me being a Snape-anti, and I actually could do an entire separate analysis on his character alone and why I find him so interesting.

Anyways, that moment in SWM is probably somewhat of an epiphany to her. It’s like a dam that’s been broken, and now she’s overwhelmed with the realization of exactly how much she overlooked in order to keep their friendship afloat. And for someone like Lily Evans, someone whom we know is opinionated and unafraid to call others out on their bullshit, that can be hard to swallow and feel pretty mortifying and shameful. And I think this was a huge turning point for her- at that point, she doesn’t have the luxury of avoiding uncomfortable truths anymore and now that she’s getting closer to graduating and being thrown out into the world on the brink of war, this was probably a really sobering discovery.

This is where we don’t have as much info to go off of, and a lot of it is up to interpretation. But we actually have little crumbs to go off of following her graduation and leading up to her death.

One of my favorite little tidbits isn’t in the books, and @seriousbrat's post reminded me about it. Here's the actual entry on Pottermore for anyone who's interested, but I'll summarize: after James and Lily began dating, Lily brings James to meet newly engaged Petunia and Vernon. Everything goes downhill, because Vernon is a smarmy asshole, and James is still pretty immature and can’t help but mess with him (which… fair, I guess). Petunia and Vernon storm out after Petunia letting Lily know that she had no intentions of having her as a bridesmaid, which causes Lily to break down into tears. I mention this because I also think it’s a pretty important aspect of her character; like we’ve seen in her past friendship with Snape, Lily seems more than willing to forgive others most of the time. Petunia is a bit of a complicated character herself, but she was objectively very cruel and unfair to Lily once it became obvious that she was a witch and Petunia was not.

Something that always stands out to me is just how desperate Lily is to earn Petunia’s trust and approval again. Even up until her death, she was more than willing to mend the relationship, were Petunia ever to consider. 

This is a detail about Lily that I feel is misunderstood quite a bit. I���ve seen a lot of instances of her character being reduced to a one-dimensional archetype with little to no complexity. And often, that archetype is “know-it-all, prudish, self righteous bookworm who is also a goody two-shoes with a stick up her ass”. What annoys me is that the reason for this is most definitely the scene in which she blows up at James in SWM for bullying Snape, and hurls quite a few insults at him directly after an extremely devastating and overwhelming situation for her. This frustrates me because we know for a fact that she’s the polar opposite of this archetype I’ve seen her reduced to. 

In actuality, she’s referred to as popular, charming, witty, bright and kind. From flashbacks we also are shown that she’s opinionated, bold, and not afraid to challenge others. With other context, like her interpersonal relationships, we can also see that she’s pretty emotionally driven and wears her heart on her sleeve. 

(I know Remus didn’t mention Lily much in the books, but I really love how he described her in the movies. He tells Harry that the first thing he noticed about him was not his striking resemblance to his father, but his eyes, the same eyes Lily had. He also calls her a “singularly gifted witch” and an “uncommonly kind woman”.

“She had a way of seeing the beauty in others, even and perhaps most especially, when that person could not see it in themselves.”

I know there are mixed feelings on whether or not the films count as canon source material, so take it with a grain of salt, but I personally cannot see a world in which Lily and Remus didn’t become close friends.)

Here we have a direct description of what she was like and who she was, corroborated by recounting of memories of her, and yet for some reason, this feels like the thing that is most commonly lost in translation.

I don’t think I can say why I think that is without mentioning the dreaded M word (misogyny- it’s misogyny), but I also don’t want to get too off topic so I’ll be brief: female characters are typically not given the same grace as male characters. When we have an undeveloped male character, he’s awarded the assumption that despite his lack of depth, there still exists a complex and multifaceted character– it’s merely just potential that hasn’t been tapped into. Whereas when we have underdeveloped female characters, they are taken at face value, meaning that not much exists beyond the little information we have of them. They are not presumed to have a life or a story that exists beyond the surface of what we know like male characters are. That’s why I think characters like Regulus, Evan, or Barty (just to name a few) are more popular than Lily, despite being less developed than she is.

(Before anyone gets defensive, no, I don’t think it’s an individual problem that you alone need to be shamed for. I think it’s the result of a deeper issue regarding misogyny in media as a concept; these are things that we’ve all unknowingly internalized and while it’s not our fault, we still have to do the work to deconstruct those learned prejudices.)

What I find really cool about her character is that despite how much she’s been hurt, she’s also still known as one of the most loving, kind, and considerate characters. There were so many times in her life where the love she received was conditional and ripped away from her– and I think that’s what makes her sacrifice even more poignant. She was able to protect her infant son from an extremely powerful dark wizard, wand-less, knowing that her husband was just murdered in cold blood, just from how much love she felt for Harry. Her love was a force of nature on its own, and I just think that’s such an amazing thing about her. 

I know I’m biased, given that she’s one of my favorite characters, but even upon delving into this, I still just find it so incredibly hard to understand how anyone can actively hate her (not indifference, but actual dislike). In my opinion (again, no one is unbiased, and she is a favorite character of mine, but trust me when I say that I’m trying to be objective as possible when I say this), she’s probably one of the most likable characters of the Marauders Era. I think perhaps a lot of people haven’t given her a chance or really taken the time to learn about her character, but it could be a myriad of other reasons that I’ll never understand. 

There's so much more I could say but this is long enough and I will stop myself

Lily Evans, u will always be famous to me

[gatorbites-imagines]

Could you do a Ken (Ryan Gosling) X Male Reader X Ken (Simu Liu) SMUT? Their Rivalry turning Raunchy when it comes to the MR: Whose kisses are better, who is the better makeout partner, who can give better blowjobs(Resulting in MR getting a Double BJ from both), whose penis, balls, and cum are better and tastier, and finally whose Ass tastes and feels best! ;) ALSO if neither Ken's have genitalia, just smoothness, do they love it when MR rubs and licks them their, turning into moaning messes? ;)

Stereotypical Ken x Male Reader x Pompadour Ken

Headcanons

I’ve learned the only way I can get in the mood to write about Ken is to listen to Bimbo Doll on repeat.

It’s gonna be so confusing saying stereotypical Ken and Pompadour Ken over and over, but I have no idea how else to refer to them 😭

How you ended up with not one but two kens following you around, you had no idea. Maybe it was the fact that you stole two of your sisters ken dolls as a kid, and used to play with them when you played with your ninja turtle toys and monster trucks.

Or maybe it was the fact that you worked at Mattel for like, a few months, and specifically had worked on outfits for Ken and only Ken. It meant you had some kind of connection to them, in some way.

Maybe it was also because you got dragged along with everything that happened with the Kens taking over barbieland, and you had to go save it with the rest.

Stereotypical Ken had been absolutely glowing when you said he looked pretty cute in his Kenough hoodie, and Pompadour Ken immediately seemed to hook onto that, for some reason. Being rivals just seemed to be in their blood, bodies? Plastic?

Now that stereotypical Ken knew how to get from Barbieland into the real world, you get used to him just showing up at your apartment sometimes. He would never tell Pompadour Ken how to get there, because he doesn’t want his rival to have that advantage, but they both figure it out at some point.

Any weaker man would have buckled or probably passed out from the blood rushing upwards and downwards at having two very attractive, not very bright but enthusiastic men, rubbing against you from both sides.

But you were not a weak man, for the most part. In the beginning their competitions were on the normal side. From whom could do the best backflip, to who could cook the best brownies, you never really questioned it, and somehow always made sure to keep their “score” equal.

Both Kens must have stumbled across more adult content, or the overexposure of being in the real world started giving them ideas, because you almost had a heart attack coming home from work one day and they both almost knocked you over, their lips immediately all pressing against your neck and chin.

You end up having to sit them down and scold them, but from then on it seems like a switch has been flipped inside stereotypical Ken and pompadour Ken.

Their competitions start becoming steamier, from kissing, to make outs, to full body massages. You aren’t complaining of course. It’s horrible for your ego, having two hot guys rubbing you all over and competing to see who can make the best hickey on your chest.

You almost get a nosebleed when you come home from work one day to see them both on speedos, comparing their bodies in front of a full body mirror you didn’t even know you owned.

You get lightheaded from how much blood is rushing downwards as they grope and squeeze each other, grumbling half compliments-half insults at each other. It ends up with you just leaning against the doorway and watching for a bit, because how can you not.

They both also seem so taken with you, especially when you come home from work, especially if you do a blue-collar job. It seems to tickle some kinda manliness nerve inside them, as they both seem so obsessed with your uniform or how rough your hands are.

Its kinda nice honestly, coming home to two attractive guys who are so excited to see you and please you in one way or another. It did catch you off guard the first time they scrambled into your lap, one on each thigh, Pompadour Ken stating you needed them to help figure out who the best kisser was.

Of course, you never ended up giving them a solid answer, which they quickly forgot, as both Kens seemed to become almost mindless and weak in the knees from just kissing alone.

When they first gain genitals, you bet your ass they’re comparing size, girth, hairs, anything. They would want your opinion too. You, being a bit of a tease, would go down on them and leave them both whining and whimpering as you suck them off.

The experience feels like some kind of awakening for them both, and you swear they’re gonna start throwing hands on who gets to go down on your first. You’ll have to remind them they can both go first, maybe by wording it like a competition.

It ends up extremely sloppy and with little finesse or skill, but by God are they enthusiastic. Two mouths on you at once, both looking up at you with those begging eyes of their, trying their damnest to make you cum.

After making you cum, both stereotypical Ken and pompadour Ken seem even more energized. You can expect to get head at least once a day from then on, some days even twice, as they don’t wanna share every time. I pray for you.

They become fiends are they get a hang of the internet, saying all kinds of dirty things to you and wanting to try so many different things. Stereotypical Ken would definitely want to ride you, and I can see pompadour Ken wanting you to eat him out till he’s crying into the pillow and shaking.

Its like having two dogs in heat running around sometimes, they’re gonna have to learn how to help each other, because you can in no way keep up, especially when their rivalry kicks up a notch like it does sometimes.

To have mercy on yourself and your body, you end up able to convince them that you can sit back and watch, and then pick a winner from there. They would still want you involved sometimes, or most times for that matter, since they are sure you can judge it better that way.

At some point you have to be careful when you have visitors over, as both Kens just take to walking around in the nude, because why cover up when they wanna show off to you?

They are both so beautiful in very way that you don’t mind most days, but you don’t wanna have someone over and then see the two of them making out on the couch, trying to settle who the best kisser is for the fourth time this week.

You still love them, even though they leave you feeling like a juice box with all the air sucked out, or more dehydrated than after a full day working in the sun. They’re your messy competitive boys, and you’d probably allow them to get away with anything if they looked at you with those pretty eyes of theirs and pouted.

They never end up being able to settle any of their competition with you after all, but at this point the competitions just seem like a cover or habit to get in the mood or get each other riled up.

Both Kens are pretty submissive by nature, which is why they pull out their rivalry most times when they wanna do something but both feel so shy to ask you to do it with them, and you might enable them a bit too much sometimes, but you all enjoy it too much to stop.

[golden-earcuffs]

I just want to reflect how much the Loki show ruined Loki as a character for me and how much disheartened I was with it.

I had always wanted a spinoff on him, which explored him more. And the Loki show did anything but that.

Do you guys remember how Loki was in Infinity War for like 5 minutes, yet Tom Hiddleston was at almost every media interaction the cast had? The same thing happened in the show as well. They used him to market the show, then sidelined him in his own show. I think that was unacceptable, because they used Loki as a bait to promote a character that I held no emotions for.

Sylvie.

The argument that one does not like Sylvie because they “hate a strong female character/a character with complex arcs” is so pathetic. I don’t think I would’ve liked Sylvie even if she had the most elaborate arc in the MCU (which she doesn’t) because it just wasn’t meant to be about her.

I wanted to see Loki’s story, his journey, and if you take this moment to interject with the statement that “she’s Loki too, just different”, then I say that I wanted to see our Loki, the one who was broken when he found out that he was the monster parents told their children about at night, the one who had plethora of iconic dialogues while fighting the avengers, who was killed only for us to realize that he wasn’t.

Everytime I said that we needed a Loki spinoff before it was announced was not because I wanted new characters, it was because I wanted to see more of the character that was already there, very much beloved by the fans. I wanted them to explore his character in a deeper sense and maybe dip a little into mythology as well.

I think Loki was one of those characters that neither needed a love interest nor was ready for one. I don’t ship him with either Sylvie or Mobius, because it feels like neither of them genuinely like Loki for who he is.

Loki had far more compelling things they could have explored like his jotun heritage, his trauma from the time with Thanos and his magic that is the only memory he has of Frigga instead of his love life.

The whole show felt like it was written by someone who wasn’t the least bit interested in Loki and barely looked into him before creating his female counterpart.

It feels like a disrespect for the fans who were connected to Loki on an emotional level.

Why am I saying this now, after like 2 years since the show came out?

I don’t know, after hearing the news about season 2 releasing in October, I just feel so upset. Tired. I hate this show much because it made Loki so irrelevant to me. A sidepiece in his own show. He went around in ugly costumes and all the regal vibes I had from him just disappeared.

I still remember a time when Loki was on the top of my favorite characters, and I loved him so much. I still do, but I’m not sure if I’ll watch the 2nd season and my 13 y/o self would hate me for this.

I’ve gotten detached from his character and I hate myself for it because Loki was someone whom I adored more than anything else in the fandom world.

Loki is that one character who is loved by the fanon but absolutely despised by the canon.

[acapelladitty]

(Mutual too shy to ask this on main) Getting really into writing Crane as a smoker which has had the unintentional effect of making me weirdly into the idea of him like...putting his cigarettes out on someone's skin and using their mouth as an ashtray. Anyways, how sexually sadistic do you think Crane can be?

Crane as a smoker always feels right to me and I can absolutely see him incorporating that into his sexual satisfactions when it suits him. Big fan of cigarette play btw and I should do more with it 👀💦

How sexually sadistic can he be? Well, that depends entirely on how someone wants to portray him and which of his characteristics they want to really emphasise. When I write for Crane, I have specific versions which exist in my head for different needs so I'll go into that a little:

Main Crane. The Crane who features in most of my works. Enjoys some mild sadism but also possesses somewhat of a masochistic streak and enjoys indulging both with a partner whom he "trusts" enough to satiate those needs.

Whole Day Off Crane. Enjoys a bdsm dynamic but really doesn't possess the masochism of his main equivalent and enjoys a focus on pleasure as much as pain. Enjoys a little bit of sadism but only if his partner also enjoys it as he tests and develops their limits.

Sadist Crane. This is my worst of the worst Crane. Remorseless and truly monstrous in his appetites as he delights in pushing his victims as far as he wants. This Crane doesn't care how he is perceived by others and actively works to systematically break down anyone unfortunate enough to catch his interest in the name of experimentation and testing theories.

Lost Little Lamb Crane. The newest addition to the roster. This Crane is more of a mental sadist than a physical one. He loves playing mind games with his partners/victims and will do what he can to manipulate a situation to his benefit.

So, depending on my mood and what kind of Crane story I want to write, I can pick and choose to fill that need. If I want a truly awful story with him being a monster then I have a vibe for that and if I want a more playful sexual sadism then there are other dynamics which allow it without feeling strange or too "ooc" for what I like.

[coralcatsea]

Brief Thoughts on Some Ships Part 2

Engmano: Since they both speak such a similar "tsundere" language, they see right through the other. So if one of them says, "I didn't make these for you, I just had leftovers!" the other will know it's just a defence mechanism and not at all believe that lie. Knowing how the other works so well would lead to a lot of teasing as well. One of their bonding activities is trash talking other people. Also, Lovino does his best to help Arthur improve his cooking.

RusFra: Ivan greatly admires Francis, whom he finds sociable, fashionable, and loving. Francis, despite being a bit intimidated, sees the good in Ivan and reaches out to him when others won't, and is flattered when Ivan makes attempts to impress and do nice things for him – although he often makes mistakes, but that just endears Francis to him more.

GerAme: Ludwig loves dogs and Alfred is an absolute golden retriever of a man. Ludwig finds him way too cute and definitely wants to do pet play with him.

Ameripan: I think Kiku should give Alfred to a tentacle monster and watch.

RusEng: Seems intriguing. They both know some magic. I like the art where people depict Russia thinking Arthur looks like a sunflower with his green outfit and blond hair.

AmeChu: Alfred is Yao's bratty boy toy.

Prumano: As the older brothers who have to work harder for approval, I think they would understand each other. That canon scene of Prussia reaching out to Romano after he didn't get a part for a movie and encouraging him was super sweet.

AsaKiku: Arthur seems to fit a lot of popular love interest archetypes in anime. The gentleman/princely type, the tsundere, the lonesome bad boy... Perhaps that means he's very much Kiku's type? 😆 The ship seems cute and pleasant, though I would like to see a little more spice in the depictions.

USUKCan: Alfred and Matthew both crave validation from Arthur, so they compete for his attention and approval. Arthur definitely enjoys watching them both suck him off.

EngPort: Friends to lovers to friends. I think they experimented a lot with each other and are pretty close and comfortable regardless of their relationship.

AusHun: Girlboss x malewife. Team Rocket vibes.

Part 1

[oathkeeper-of-tarth]

This is what I was referring to when joking about Isobel getting the "Florida man treatment" in the epilogue Baldur's Mouth Gazettes and it genuinely makes me feel bad for her.

Even after everything, will she ever escape being Ketheric Thorm's Daughter? Her whole arc of being the beacon of resistance against him, while keeping to herself and hiding her identity from her closest allies. Grappling with the undeserved guilt of all he did in her name and "for her". Mourning the man she knew as her father whom she calls wonderful, and having to reconcile that with the monster he became without her. This man who wanted to bring her back to "life" so badly that he twisted and tainted and violated and destroyed every single bit of her life in the process - her home, everyone she ever knew and loved - himself included, and the love of her life, and even the family dog. Along with, as we see Isobel fear, her own self, body and soul.

I'm also fascinated by this little compare-and-contrast:

Ketheric Thorm: She was always stubborn. She clung to Selûne even after her mother's death.

Isobel: He raised me to serve Selûne, as my mother, rest her soul, had wished. He was everything to me, all my life.

He says it with such disdain. Is this twisted hindsight after a century of bitter hatred, or were you slipping even then, Ketheric? Puts me in mind of the persecuted Selûnite masons theorising he only ever converted for Melodia's sake and showed his faith through very grand flashy gestures, such as, you know, building giant towers and temples. Ketheric, very much a capital P Paladin, changes gods and causes with such fervour and goes to such lengths every time, it's fascinating.

Meanwhile, Isobel with her quiet "task of steadfast faith" that she claims few can understand, her adherence to her beliefs and principles even when everything seems to have been taken from her (talk about loss!), even when she, too, is angry at her goddess for not interfering to stop a slide into greater evil, and when she fears herself corrupted and unworthy. Every time I think about Isobel for more than a minute I am absolutely stunned by the sheer strength and resilience she so subtly and quietly displays.

[kingofcups]

found this in my drafts enjoy

Monsters - Upperclasmen things that I want to talk about more

Aaron/Dan - Both of whom grew in absolutely shitty situations but I find interesting is how they respond to their upbrings. Both of them are desperate to make something of themselves Dan through the foxes and Aaron through becoming a doctor. But like they both respond very differently to those backgrounds. Dan despite being an ex-stripper seems distinctly unashamed whereas Aaron was literally against joining the foxes bc he didn't want anyone to know about his background and be associated with the foxes. Both them fall in love with someone Matt&Katelyn respectively and hate it bc it goes against their life plan. Dan falling for Matt against all odds, Aaron loving Katelyn despite Andrew. Dan leaving behind her shitty aunt and never seeking with her again vs Aaron still loving Tilda and agreeing to the deal with Andrew even though he hates it bc he wants Andrew around. That bit where Neil says Aaron survived this long on "Willpower and Desperation" fits pre-canon Dan so well.

Matt/Andrew - A lot of people focus on them both being SA surviors which is true but I think how they view themselves have a lot similarties as well. Andrew only living to protect other people when we see in canon andrew defining himself by being a protector vs Matt literally being born to "fix" his parents divorce and his drug addiction starting as a way to fix his relationship with with his dad like theres something there!!

Allison/Nicky - Them both having issues with boundaries bc boundaries/rules have been used against them their whole live. Luther and Maria restricting Nicky's sexuality, personality, who he is and sending him to conversion camp. Allison developing an eating disorder to keep up with her parents demands and later getting cut off when she she doesn't listen to their rules, etc. They both have their own masks that they use to test people and as a coping mechanism. Allison's whole catty bitch nothing affects me act bc of how much the press/and her parents hurt her Nicky being out and proud as response to a lifetime of constant homophobia !!

Renee&Neil - The name changes!!! Natalie and Nathaniel. Them both having aversions to knives bc of their pasts but that view changing bc of Andrew. Renee acting as witness against her former gang and Neil selling out his father's empire. The two killers on the team who have never been caught. It's canon that Neil can tell Renee's past is darker than she seems which is why its so wary but also what about Renee feeling the same thing. Renee seeing Neil and being reminded of who she used to be does that make it harder or easier to be around neil? I have a feeling they could dig up each other's demons and I like that a lot.

Kevin and Seth - Oooof this dynamic is highly underexplored. Like Neil assumes Seth is jealous of Kevin in the beginning and while that might be true dismissing it a jealousy feels like a bit of shallow reading. Seth was one of the original foxes from Wymack's line the only fifth year wheras Kevin is Wyamck's son who was never supposed to be fox material but is here anyways. Kevin sees Seth as like a waste of a scholarship and Seth knows it. Like Seth is a failure and self-sabotages while Kevin is a huge perfectionist whose high standards are detrimental to everyone. Their such opposites it's so interesting to me. Maybe its just me but I feel like Seth's issue w/Kevin comes from the fact that he doesn't really see Kevin as a fox. Kevin is respected, adored and has money, influence and support that the foxes don't have. Random strangers literally crying bc Kevin might never play again and Seth's own mom not even picking up his ashes did his brothers even show up to his funeral??

[blowfliesorangeeyes]

Do you have any litrpg recs?

OH BOY DO I

I will attempt to give little descriptions but I'm not the best at writing so if nothing else I hope the names pique your interest! This post will be more personal opinion than direct plot summary, though if you'd like I can add those too

Noobtown: Humor is a bit high school boy especially in this first one, but it definitely gets some full body cackles outta me. Though this is a comedy series supposedly, it knows how to tug at your heart strings with some genuinely good characters and an interesting break of the system surrounding the book itself. More than anything, this shits Fun. It gets really interesting, Shart the demon is a pathetic mound of anger issues, Jim’s name is the equivalent of a dog’s in this world, all hail Badgalor king of the badgers, fuck the fecking puma forest.

Chaos Seeds: Classic of the genre, though definitely dated and the series degrades with the more recent books. Very nice magic system, one of the better uses I've seen, and the characters are notably very colorful/fun. Good fights and damn graphic, isn't afraid to be gruesome though there is a beating heart of humanity through the series I personally enjoy

Dungeon Crawler Carl (mix of LitRPG and apocalyptic dungeon elements, what it says on the tin): one of the best, and I mean BEST of this genre in my opinion. extraordinarily dark and horrifically funny. This shit will depress you as you giggle at it. But its just so damn good with some really nice underlying as well as overt commentary. More gorgeous character writing though here it's all Carl and the beautiful Princess Dount (his show winning, talking, cat whom deserves the universe in her paws) all the way. Very absurdist humor by the by, if that's your thing

Ascend Online (town builder litrpg): I mainly love this one for something that happens I think at the end of the first book though it might be the second. It sort of flips the magic system against our hero in a wonderfuly monstrous way. This one is Very Big, and honestly a little boring at times. But the game mechanics and magic system are drooling off of the page, begging to be thought about. Our main character is smart and resourceful, as a veteran of video games he capitalizes his knowlage for a satisfying build. If you’re really into game mechanics this shit was MADE for you, it is also just plain interesting. Good ideas and good fight scenes to go around for everyone! And mainly I just consider it a bit boring because I listened to the audiobook and the narrator read off the Entire Status Page ever like chapter which, if you're an avid LitRPG reader, you’ll understand the pain involved in such a thing

He Who Fights With Monsters: Another insanely long book, another absolute banger. While personally I'm not a fan of the series as it progresses, the first one is a full experience all on its own, lightning in a bottle to me. The main character is one of the best I’ve read about, the magic system is deliciously unique, the side characters are memorable as hell, but most of all I adore the worldbuilding in HWFWM SO fucking much. I have like full posts thirsting after it GOD. I could sit here and just talk. This is one of the best on the list to me, right up there with Dungeon Crawler Carl; even better in the side character department

Ritualist (The Completionist Chronicles): This one’s strengths are a surprising mix of absurdist comedy and a somewhat well thought out magic system. The writing is,,, Not The Best especially compared to some others, but it was a fun and very quick read, especially compared to some others on this list. a popcorn turn your brain off read

System Apocalypse (While most LitRPG exist in fantasy worlds, this one is a post-apocalyptic sci-fi vibe): This is another short one. It takes place in Canada and the main character is a ball of severe anger issues and angst, he has a very cool motorcycle and kicks hella ass. It’s great. His companion is top tier as well, there may or may not be a hot space elf prince involved. If you don't like romance you’re still good though because there isn’t any since John is a pussy ass bitch. Sorry, sorry, I'm trying to be fair and balanced. It's good! John is definitely a flawed individual, I think people often miss a lot of the little nuances in his character and write him off as petulant and pissed (to be fair, he is) but to me at least there's a bit more going on. Even if he can be genuinely irritating to read about

And finally, my two favorite series... and guilty pleasures

The Good Guys: A quintessential barbarian. Think of a barbarian character. Boom. There it is. That’s our man Montana Coggshall. this series is my version of embarrassment exposure therapy, Montana is constantly being humiliated and nothing good ever happens to him. But Also, this is not a sad or angsty or dark series at all. Its fun and light and god are the fights amazing. a fantasy romp to its core. Charming and delicious and fun and action packed to the gills.

The Bad Guys: A quintessential rouge. Think of a rogue character. Boom. There it is. That’s our man Clide Hatchett. This series has a style and comedy and charm to i cannot physically understate and there are So Many genuinely clever moments

there are so many characters that fuck around with morality and right/wrong and different view points that make the world feel so lived in

Everything from plumbing to lumberjacks is explored and given loving attention.

Reading it feels like coming home, I honestly don't care that the plot has turned into side quests and atm the side characters haven't gotten enough time in the spot light

The main character and fucking sheer amazing awkward kind conflicted energy of his dialogue, I've developed a connection to Eric ugland's style of writing further than I thought and I can't get enough of this shit. Also every problem Clide Hatchett has is solved with some sort of fucking batshit way I Adore

He's the guy who used a dagger that could travel through liquid to travel through a guys stomach and out the other side. Did I mention how gorey these books are? Because Yeah. I adore Clide Hatchet, my favorite character to ever be written in any place ever. He walks into places he absolutely shouldn't be, gets called elf boy, kicks everybody's ass while simultaneously being the most awkward and uncoordinated mess elvenly possible, then leaves. He is in the palace throne room profusely apologizing to the servants for getting dirt on the floor and beating the shit out of the king, he is at the altar of your wedding punching you in the face and then turning around and tripping on his dress, he is calling himself a hero before robbing a home blind. And also he keeps on shoving acid globs down people's throats and managing to do that while maintaining pure silly little guy energy is genuinely character writing talent. He's perfect. Yes it is very dorky.

Eric Ugland (who wrote both the Good Guys and Bad Guys series) has this way of writing, this STYLE I cannot properly articulate how much I find myself in love with it. though I will warn you I'm definitely bias, since I've been following both of these series almost since conception my perception could be entirely skewed by nostalgia

[prismaticpichu]

as someone who has only played part 1 of the 7 remake, can u briefly explain why sephiroth is considered "good" by the fandom? im curious!!

Oh no… you’ve awakened the beast within! 😂❤️

Just kidding!! I’d be honored to answer, my friendo! 💕

~

In short, Sephiroth was technically always good once upon a time, even back in the og game. A huge staple of this man’s origins (as found out through a flashback) is the fact that he wasn’t born evil, wasn’t raised evil, but was rather a revered war hero who descended into madness—all of which is captured in a tragedy dubbed “The Nibelheim Incident.” (Aka a fiery massacre Sephiroth commits upon learning about his half-alien anatomy and 7 days of sleep deprivation). It’s made pretty clear (at least imo) that these circumstances turned Seph into a monster, and that the real Sephiroth was someone who died amid those 7 days. This is also corroborated by a very famous line by Zack (Cloud’s bff) that goes “You’re not the Sephiroth I used to know!” (Because the Sephiroth he used to know, the hero, is not the person standing at the end of his blade.)

So… there is that! But while OG FF7 does give us this foundation, and people absolutely enjoyed the little bits of sane!Seph that were fed to us through this flashback, it wasn’t until another game—a prequel—called “Crisis Core” that really took Sephiroth’s “pre-Nibelheim” self (the “war hero” part) and ran with it. Explored it, more like, and stretched it out to an incredible degree. It was in this game that we were really introduced to a Sephiroth who wasn’t evil; a Sephiroth who had two best friends; a Sephiroth who cared about his comrades and really wanted nothing more than to protect them. And it’s here that fans (myself included lmaoooo) absolutely love to HOARD these kind!Seph moments like precious gems.

A few noteworthy acts that contribute to Seph’s good heart:

• Saving Zack from a blast of fire

• Training Zack when his mentor deserts

• Offering to donate his blood upon accidentally injuring his best friend, Genesis

• Refusing to kill his best friends when they turn against the company he’s loyal to

• Goes out of his way to check in on Zack and allows him to return to Aerith (his gf) when her home is threatened.

• Overall just has a caring and patient aura about him.

I’d say this is where a majority of the “good” Seph fandom love comes from <333 Again, it’s always been a part of Seph’s origins that he was once a good fellow, but it was this game in particular that really expanded it—really fleshed out the human side of his DNA, really made him more empathetic than he ever was. And boy did it make his downfall hurt all the more in Crisis Core’s version of Nibelheim.

(Also worthy to note that, in regard to his fiery rampage, there is a lot of evidence pointing towards him being possessed. Nothing is confirmed, but it does cushion some of the initial fall. Absolutely not a justification—not an excuse—but it really just goes to show how this man was not himself when he crossed that threshold into villainy. He wasn’t the Sephiroth people knew.)

There is also Ever Crisis wherein teenage Seph is seen guiding some SOLDIERs around before the events of Crisis Core (the likes of whom he wants desperately to protect). But i’ma refrain from saying too much about that one bc we don’t have the full story of that one yet! ;3 💕

[taybatwo2]

Monster High IDW Comics Review: Part 5 of ?: Monster High Pride 2024 Issue (“I Put a Spell on You”)

Okay, now we can actually look at the comic. Bring it in boys!!!

Beautiful! Thank you boys.

Part 1:

https://www.tumblr.com/taybatwo2/754406016295321600/monster-high-idw-comics-review-part-13-the-fcbd?source=share

Part 2:

https://www.tumblr.com/taybatwo2/754406053729452032/monster-high-idw-comics-review-part-2-of?source=share

Part 3:

https://www.tumblr.com/taybatwo2/754555603918127104/monster-high-idw-comics-review-part-3-of?source=share

Part 4:

https://www.tumblr.com/taybatwo2/754946130507333632/monster-high-idw-comics-review-part-4-of?source=share

Part 6:

https://www.tumblr.com/taybatwo2/772726504008384512/monster-high-idw-comics-review-part-6-of?source=share

First off, the info:

“I Put a Spell on You” is written by Megan Brown (she/her, has her own website and is on “x” @ megan_mb. She has done a lot of other writing on IDW comics). The art is done by Bowen McCurdy (she/her, her BEAUTIFUL artwork can be seen on her Instagram @ bonesbunns).

The fantastic coloring was by Bex Glendining (she/they, they have their own website, and you can see their artwork on Instagram @ Igions). The front cover’s art was done by Céli Godfried (they/she, they have their own website, are on tumblr @ pianta)

None of these people worked on the previous IDW Monster High comics.

Both this and Summer Fangout and the IDW Free Comic Book Day comics had Kielamel Sibal as the letterer (she/her, another artist on Instagram @ labis_lemaleik), Riley Farmer as the editor (she/her, I think, I can’t access her LinkedIn profile), and production and design done by Johanna Nattalie (she/her and has worked on a lot of IDW Sonic titles). All three had worked previously on the FCBD issue.

It is 10 pages long Vs the twice as long “Summer Fangout.” Which is a shame.

Synopsis (spoilers below).

“I Put a Spell on You” has Spelldon try to become friends with Draculaura on his road to bettering himself. He is so upset by her not wanting to fang out with him that he asks Spelldon to remove all of his love emotions through a potion. They track down the three ingredients, Valentine catches feels for Spelldon (who already had them for Valentine) and last minute decides he doesn’t need the potion. Spelldon drinks it and tells him it was just a “murktail” (“mocktail”), and they begin dating (YESSS).

My personal thoughts/feelings/breakdown and more photos under the cut:

Like the previous comic, I will be whiting out the speech bubbles to try and circumvent the copyright on these pages I’m uploading.

On with the comic!

page 1:

It starts off with Valentine talking with Whisp (whom he’d become friends with in his SDCC doll diary) about how he wants to turn his life around. The first step is asking Draculaura if she’d be friends with him and he’s SO NERVOUS (Look how is hand is shaking! Fangtastic detail). So nervous that he walks head first into a locker (can relate - that hurts). Whisp sees this as a perfect opportunity to duck out (I love her so much).

Pros:

(Most of these are just going to be me gushing over the artwork. I absolutely adore it and REALLY wish the other IDW comics had her as their artist and kept the same colorist).

I like how his voice’s accent shows through the writing and “turning over a new grave” is a great pun.  The reactions are pretty good too (the RIP sound effect, mwah). 

And the angle on his face while in the floor is beautiful! He even has a little nose scrunch.

Call backs:

They mention him getting knocked into the pit of “eternal body odor” again (I believe he also dealt with those ramifications in his diary). 

I already mentioned it, but I like how he is friends with Whisp in this (like in his SDCC release/diary).

Other:

They did lightly alter Valentine’s outfit (I assume so it was easier to draw -it had a lot of detail on it in his 3D model and SDCC doll), his sleeves are a bit shorter, he is missing cravat, they gave him black nails and more maroon colored hair instead with some reddish streaks instead of pure black with red streaks. :)

page 2:

After being knocked on the floor, Valentine rights himself and quickly asks Draculaura (first in his normal accent and then in his southern swagger) if she’d like to be friends/see a show together “to rekindle our- er-our friendship.” She says she can’t (it sounds like she’s not necessarily against it), she has a full schedule. I saw someone mention that they took at as her trying to blow him off by mentioning all these things, but I read it as she was actually that busy *shrugs.* And Valentine takes this really hard, because he’s replaying that conversation back in his head in class. 

Pros:

Again, I love all the facial expressions!  Also, look at those hands! Look at the use of shadow and they even painted both of their nails. FANTASTIC!

Also, good use of paneling to show that was a flashback.

Call Backs:

The inside of the school looks like the webisodes’ school interior (so maybe these are not following the IDW comics? They used the CGI model of the school).

But, Draculaura being overwhelmed with duties/work does sound like it’s keeping in line with this G1 “Once Bitten” canon.

Nitpick…kinda:

Valentine is REALLY taking it hard that Draculaura is not wanting to hang out with him right that second. Is he just overthinking it? Does he think she’s blowing him off? He probably feels like he keeps failing and can’t make up for his past misdeeds.

Not that the comic has any room for this, but what if the first scene stayed the same, she tentatively says, “yeah, I think we could try being friends.” Then it’s a montage of him trying to fang out/help her and he has just the worst luck (he interrupts her in the middle of fear practice and it topples their human pyramid, he knocks over a vase of flowers he brought her all over her creative writing assignment, maybe he’s forgot how she reacts to blood and gets her some chocolate covered blooded jelly truffles)??? After a week of mess ups, and Draculaura not answering his texts anymore (because she feels overwhelmed-but he doesn’t know), then he can feel like he majorly blew it (but maybe that is too much of a retread on what happened in “Only Have Eye for You”).

Maybe he is overthinking it because his emotional vampire side is hangry (his SDCC diary mentions that he gets energy off of people’s love -more so if it is freely given - so maybe he’s running on low. I know I get a bit dramatic and paranoid when I’m low on fuel).

Valentine is drawn a bit too short/Draculaura is too tall(Draculaura’s head shouldn’t reach above his shoulders and her lipstick and fangs are missing). 

page 3:

He is snapped out of it by Spelldon. After Spelldon takes one of the roses, Valentine laments to Spelldon about his lack of emotional intelligence and how his love for others have only brought him “pain and suffering.” AND he tells Spelldon he no longer “like likes” girls. Which is really sweet, but again, I would love it if in the PRIDE ISSUE we could get a full on: “I am GAY Spelldon.” Instead of a “You know what I mean!!”

Pros: Valentines’ face in the sixth panel is well drawn.

Valentine being over dramatic is a nice touch. Kid is spiraling. Maybe he’s hangry…?  The background continues to be great. I like the background posters of the fanged mouth.

We get the long awaited appearance of SPELLDON. I really like his design (how he has black features, his pointed ears, his outfit, his sparkly shirt). I would love to break down his appearance in another review, and compare it to how fanon (and Garrett Sander) had designed him (and how it’s evolved over the years).

Call Back:

Spelldon apparently likes black roses. :) Which is great because those seem to be Valentine’s specialty (besides in the movie, those were pink).

They name drop “lap dragons,” which are one of the pets that Valentine took care of in his SDCC diary for Mrs. Goblin (which ties back to him wanting to take an interest in Biteology to be a vet).

page 4:

Spelldon (begrudgingly) is talked into making a potion to make Valentine stop feeling all the feels. 

Pros:

Spelldon is so much taller than Valentine (“he sure is big,” isn’t he Valentine?).

The passing of time is well done in the paneling (and the zoom-in to the book is also great).

More great facial expressions and HANDS!!

There is some great foreshadowing with the book. See how Spelldon’s right hand is covering most of the page (like he doesn’t want Valentine to see what it says), and Valentine is not paying attention to the title of the tome? Well, the tome says: “Party Potions,” which doesn’t sound like a title heavy enough to contain an emotion erasing potion.

It also implies that this comic takes the span of about a week.

Nitpicks: Valentine calls Spelldon a magician? Hahaha, sounds like he does stage magic. Just call him a witch Valentine. :)

page 5:

Valentine and Spelldon go to the store to get a “Hydra Heart Scale.” Apparently they are both Elissabat stans and go to see her movie off screen-err page (I would have LOVED to have seen this).

Pros:

I love the look of the background of the store. It’s nicely faded out, the casual inclusion of rib cages (symbolizing where the heart lays and the other new character that had appeared in “Why do Ghouls fall in Love:” Cupid), bat wings, and even some hockey masks like a certain mama’s boy, camp serial killer might be known for wearing. 

This conversation on how much they should get is done SO MUCH better here than in Clawdeen’s/Toralei’s previous short story (in my opinion).

Spelldon looks really cute in the third and forth panel, and Valentine looks really good in the fifth and last panel. I like the hatching they add to Spelldon’s hair shade. I like that they have a little lore drop in here as well about what Spelldon is good at (top of the class in Potion-Crafting) and what Valentine is (really) good at (Biteology).

Call Backs:

The goblin lady he helped during the summer is from SDCC diary and the “unfortunate birthday party incident (is from “Why Do Ghouls Fall in Love?”). Honey, you almost made Draculaura an empty, unfeeling husk FOREVER, I think that would be a bit more than unfortunate.

Nitpicks: Apparently Elissabat the Vampire Queen and movie star is taking up sponsorships for Fake Blood Murktails (I’m not really feeing that pun….?).

And while Elissabat is a fun cameo, it feels a bit off here, but I know they already wanted to hint at Murktails being a thing.

But, why murktails? Are mock-tails popular with today’s youth?? Why not smoothies…boo-thies? I know flavored/carbonated waters and energy drinks are popular…

Maybe have Elissabat in a new costume in a promotional outfit for the “Cracking Dusk” movie mentioned here

(I would have loved to see a new design on her, like they did for her Vampire Heart movie poster in “Frights, Camera, Action,” and the Draculaura Maul Monsteristas dress).

Also, I wish that the last speech bubble in the second panel was moved over and down a bit more, so you could see Valentine’s hand counting down “two” (I saw their line art on the artist’s page -serious check out their Instagram and I think it’s a shame to cover up such lovely hand artwork, also, you can see how the background line art doesn’t touch the character’s line art, helping them not get lost in the panel).

page 6:

The next thing they have to get is “Himalayan Ice Malt from the Lair or a Yeti.” Valentine and Spelldon….well I actually don’t know what happens. I originally flipped back and forth several times to see if I skipped a page because it just didn’t seem to flow as well, and what happens to cause a distraction for the yeti to leave his office -and his malt- is a bit unclear (to me).

Spelldon mentions that having skates would ruin the plan, Valentine trips stepping forward, but then looks like he’s falling back and the next (BEAUTIFUL PANEL) he’s kneeled down,

gripping his shoulder in pain, leaning over Spelldon, while Spelldon is laying under him (I LOVE his pose), and an explosion is going off. Did Spelldon sneak over to the fishing hole and summon the sea monsters/put an explosive potion in the hole?? Unknown. Then the panel jumps back up and see a bunch of monster fish trying to come out of the fishing hole. 

Am I missing something??? Anyways, the Dreddy the Yeti is distracted and both boys run into his unprotected office and steal the malt.

Pros:

Dreddy running out to fix the problem has some funny dialogue and I love Spelldon’s and Valentine’s conspiratorial look they give one another. 

Again, lovely shading (on the neck, cheeks, and hands especially), even the way the clothes lay on them is great (look at those clothing folds). 

I like the Yeti’s design (the horns, furry arms and legs, the tail is cute, but I’m not sure if it fits….maybe he has some Norwegian Troll blood in his veins). His cardboard cut out is really fun.

Nitpicks: The colorist forgot to color in Spelldon’s jacket’s studs.

page 7:

“And a grave chalice to drink it from,” is the last ingredient. Before they do, Spelldon slips into his Southern twanged accent and Spelldon questions him on why he does that, he doesn’t do it around him. Valentine shrugs and says he doesn’t know but maybe it’s because he feels more comfortable around Spelldon. Spelldon and Valentine go to a mausoleum to get the chalice and instead of Scarah coming in clutch to scare Valentine into Spelldon’s arms, Spelldon somehow trips and bonks his head. 

Pros:

I love the Chibi art for them! It’s so cute!!

Scarah shows up!! I wonder if she could hear Spelldon’s feelings for Valentine and wanted to help?

I love the opening panel. It’s very lovely, and I love the coffin lights and the soft glow they emit (it’s handled here much better than the coffin lights I the previous short).

The part where Spelldon questions Valentine’s accent is a nice addition and fun to see. I like the idea that Valentine puts on the southern gentlemanly air because he thinks it makes him cooler, is funny and the fact that he feels so at ease with Spelldon, he doesn’t bother with it, is also sweet.

I had headcanoned that when going to school in Transylvania, Valentine was getting crap for being a new world American vampire -so uncool and uncivilized for the Transylvanian pure breed Vampires. He was (literally) starving for love/friendship, so he adopted the “perfect” romantic, southern gentleman person. Roughly akin to southern gentleman trope maker: Rhett Butler from “Gone with The Wind,” (it doesn’t really fit with that time period of Valentine living Transylvania being Edwardian/Victorian -the movie came out in 1939- but was one of the highest grossing movies ever and really catapulted the southern gentlemen into public conscious and Monster High timelines are a mess anyways). And it worked great in giving him all the emotions he could feast on.

Nitpicks:

This one I like better than the previous page, but I still feel like it’s a bit out of order. I feel like the panels where Spelldon is asking Valentine about his “bad southern accent” should have been right under the first panel. Then it has Valentine asking Spelldon “what’s the plan?”.

page 8:

It cuts to them finally mixing all the ingredients together in the library, Valentine second guesses and then decides against drinking the potion and Spelldon chucks it back. 

Pros:

Once again, I love the opening panel (Valentine’s face is great on the opening, fourth and seventh panel).

You get some close ups of that rose he took from Valentine’s bouquet as a bracelet and it hasn’t died yet. :D

And Spelldon still has his poor head wrapped. 

Call Back:

I like that Valentine says he has been bettering himself after the “incident” (in which he nearly made Draculaura an emotionless husk).

Nitpick:

Valentine mentions he already considers Draculaura a friend here???? So he IS just upset that she won’t hang out with him/is really busy? >:P

page 9:

Next page! Spelldon reveals that it’s just a Murktail and that he cares for and “likes hanging out with” Valentine. Valentine admits he likes fanging out with Spelldon too and then THIS CUTE PANEL where they flirt. Aaaaand no kiss….again!!! >:/ 

Pros:

Again, I love this artwork (Spelldon looks down-right gorgeous in that last panel) and the two boys admitting that they like each other.

Their facial expressions and how Valentine grabs Spelldon’s shirt is just SO GOOD.

Nitpicks:

Also in that last panel, it looks like the three “…” were accidentally copied into Spelldon’s bandaged head. Haha.

I just wish they were more blatant and we got a dang kiss! 

page 10:

The last page again fast forwards again to sometime later and Valentine and Spelldon are holding hands down the hallways of Monster High. Draculaura runs up and apologizes to Spelldon on how much she thinks he has the wrong impression, she does want to be friends, she just has a lot going on (what’s going on with you in this TIMELINE ghoulie…??!?).

I do like that Valentine catches himself slipping back into his southern drawl (I like that it’s pretty obvious when he falls back into it- but does anyone else have a hard time trying to remember what his voice sounds like without it or is that just me). 

It ends on a great note (calling back to how Valentine does have friends now - with Whisp calling him to ask about his new boo-friend and Spelldon asking how he’s feeling now). 

Pros:

THE ART! All the art. It’s all so good!! The hands in the first panel, the shading on all of them! The little heart drawn on the bottom of Valentines’s shoe. <3 Valentine’s realization he’s slipping into past habits in the third panel. So good!

Nitpicks:

Valentine DOES think they’re already friends, so maybe Draculaura should have ran up and said she thought about it and he does seem to be turning over a new leaf and she does want to fang out with him and maybe try being friends. If he would like, she’s free on -insert day here- maybe even for a double date. Valentine blushes and says he would like that. (CAN YOU IMAGINE A DOUBLE DATE WITH THESE GUYS?!?)

Spelldon’s jacket studs are missing in the fifth panel.

Draculaura is still draw a bit too tall here.

Overall:

I’ve already said it a million times, but I think the artwork is SO MUCH better in this comic than the others. The emotions seem to flow better, the characters are not as stiff, the line work varies, the color story is complimentary, the space doesn’t feel empty, the paneling flows together better. Just on a whole other level than what the previous comics are doing.

The colorist did an AMAZING job on the whole short story, she just elevated the already great line work. It’s FANGTASTIC! I’ll be curious to see where the characters go from here and if they will get dolls (please oh please oh please oh please) or at least another doll that is SDCC exclusives only…

I LOVED seeing Spelldon. Spelldon played more of a supporting role here to Valentine, but I think it worked well as an introduction. His personality seemed a bit quiet and mature, very observant and kind, and he has some wit and sarcasm to him. It’s a nice contrast to the more emotionally turbulent Valentine.  I still wish it was longer, and Valentine getting upset over the fact that Draculaura is friends with him but is too busy to fang out with him (but she implied she didn’t know they were already friends: “of course I want to be friends with you!”) is a bit “eh.” And I would have liked to see at LEAST one kiss.

I could see this short story fitting right into the main G1 canon (even with Draculaura still being suspiciously busy and not her bubbly self, which seems to be part of the new-“Once Bitten”/IDW comic-G1-verse canon).

This took a lot longer than I thought to make, but I managed to do it!

I’m still thinking about maybe doing a Spelldon fanon to canon evolution post, but it might take awhile to compile stuff. I find how the whole fandom basically willed this character into existence and all the different interpretations fascinating. Perhaps I will read the new issue of the IDW comic when it drops in August and make a post (to give the comic an actual fair chance). But I can’t see myself doing it to every issue due to me not collecting floppies (I’d rather wait for them to be all collected first, my cat has already stepped on and badly wrinkled my Pride Comic).

Maybe I’ll begrudgingly picking up the new “Once Bitten” book (I’d really rather get that on a super sale then give them full price for THAT) and report on that. TT^TT

What were your thoughts and feelings? Did I miss something? Have horrible takes? Did I mention the beautiful artwork too much?? Let me know. :) 

[skylinx2o]

Can we have some apricot lore? I want to know more about them 

Well, thanks to you moth man, we now have a more detailed outline of her lore (I give you like, 90% of the credit here)

There's a bug demons city ruled by a Butterfly Empress. But moths are well liked in the city, being conveniently night hours workers. Apricot belongs to one of the more well off families with a lot of influence. The butterfly empress isn't that nice actually, mostly doing nice things because she wants others to love her.

Too bad that one day the Butterfly Empress heard servants talking about how the new child of one of the moth families was just so cute, and yes, she got petty over a baby being prettier than her. So she, you know, asked someone to read her future, just in case, to make sure she will still be the most liked empress.

But she got news that she didn't like. Her demise will be brought upon her by a moth demon. Now you see, the Butterfly Empress may have looked kind and nice, but she was vein and bitter on the inside. She couldn't stand the idea of being beaten by an 'uglier' bug, seeing moths as inferior imposters of butterflies, whom she thinks deserve more because they're prettier.

So she made up a lie... That moths were secretly stealing from other demons. Planted the seeds of doubt... And well, that's how a revolution started, other demons trying to chase moth demons out... She of course sent her right-hand man, Mantis General, out too to 'support' her people.

And so the town went into chaos, and Apricot's family has been cornered in their mansion, with no way to escape... But through the angry mob, the Mantis General walked through and into their home, going to deal with them personally. They plead with him to let their only child go.

And the Mantis General hesitates, because he's loyal to the Butterfly Empress because of the kindness she showed him, but he's not a monster that would hurt a small child. So despite everything he lets them save her, and her parents send her off to the moon with the bow of Apricot's father to remember them by, using the last of their power. Whatever happened to her parents… I'll still keep a mystery for now.

Then on the moon Apricot is found by Chang'e, but the little moth doesn't remember anything because of the trauma of what happened, or perhaps her parents didn't want Apricot to have the memory of them so she can have a normal life. And the Butterfly Empress doesn't mind one child being unaccounted for, because even if she escaped, there was no way a child this small like Apricot could fend for herself in her belief. And to make absolutely sure that she will keep all the power and praise, the Butterfly empress used a new power to control people with mushrooms, bending them to her will, and making sure they worship her...

That's what I've decided on Apricot's backstory and how she ended up in the care of Chang'e. Now I'd also like to talk a bit about the characters too (taking this opportunity to introduce the new buggy/insect ocs)

{Apricot, Mantis General, Butterfly Empress}

Starting with Apricot... She's of course the little moth demon. She was found by Chang'e on the moon mysteriously, along with a bow of light. Change took pity on her and adopted her, quickly getting attached.

Apricot doesn't remember what happened before, and overall was too young to understand what happened anyway. She does know her name, but tends not to react when people call her by it and have to grab her attention more directly. She also doesn't speak much, maybe a word or two sometimes, essentially partially non-verbal, and she won't speak if she doesn't want to. She mostly points and makes little squeaks.

Her parents used to be demons of high status in the city and well liked. She was their only child and their pride. She was loved by other people for being a cheery child that put a smile on everyone's faces. Her father was a merchant as well as an excellent archer and had light powers, while her mother made art by weaving and had water powers. Apricot would have some combination of their powers, and also could use her father's bow of light that shoots arrows made of light, but Chang'e keeps that away from her for now...

🍑

And since I'm showing the two new ocs here on Tumblr for the first time too, I'll introduce them. As you've read before, Butterfly Empress is the selfish and vein ruler of the bug demon city. She only cares about her looks and having power, and she will stop at nothing to achieve praise and loyalty. She could have chosen to learn plant magic, but instead she honed her power on perfecting her brain altering mushroom powers. By implanting them on someone, she can influence them to do what she wants, and put people in an almost trance like state if need be. They're more likely to like her and not question her once they're influenced by her power. Girl just straight up evil and entitled.

The Mantis General isn't as bad... He looks scary, and could certainly hurt people if he wanted, but... Don't get me wrong, he is VERY loyal to the Butterfly Empress, because she showed him kindness, gave him love he craved and treated him like a normal person. He wasn't so lucky before he meet her... She was his light of hope, but maybe he will realize that, her actions towards him mean nothing to her, and she's just using him and likes the power she has over him. [the designs of the two will likely still change, especially Butterfly Empress's outfit]

🦋

Well, that was a bit more than just Apricot lore, but a lot has changed the more ideas you gave me. Idk what else to say, that's all I have for now.

Also she's like, four to six years old. In her current design. I'll probably make her grown up version later on, because I'm not sending this small of a child to fight some evil fungi bug lady