#( antonia is MY HEART too )

[threeacttragedy]

Entry 4 – The One About the Red Bag of Chaos

One of the things that never ceases to amaze me about this fandom is that Whenever Something Good Happens it ALWAYS torpedoes into Something Bad Happening.

Every.

Single.

Time.

And, that’s why we can never have nice things.

Case in point: “Brb” and the elusive Red Bag.

On October 4, we were graced with Luke’s Instagram story of luggage with the caption “Brb.” His picture included two pieces of luggage, a small metal carryon case, and a red bag. The red bag was interesting because it appeared to be – let’s face it, we all stereotyped this into being – a woman’s tote bag of some leathery sort. Lukola Sleuths tracked Luke’s image down to the first-class lounge for British Airways. I mean, we even got a not-so-blurry reflection of Luke in the corner of the luggage. We should have been ecstatic, right? Luke had posted two days in a row (with the first post being the cutesy “Mean Girls” reference to October 3), and Nicola had been peppering the trail with Lukola-laced yumminess since early August. I mean, we should have been biting our nails in excitement waiting to see what Luke or Nicola posted next.

But, no, that’s not what happened.

Instead, hysteria struck fast and hard. Why? Because at some point in her relatively short life, Antonia had danced in front of a red bag at – oh my God, wait for it – an airport! Oh, how the Conscientiously Stupid seized this tidbit of outdated information to terrorize the Sincerely Ignorant straight into shark infested waters!

The problem with this plotline was that (a) the video of Antonia was old, possibly even a few years old; and (b) there was absolutely no evidence the red bag Antonia was dancing in front of even belonged to her! The argument that this was Antonia’s red bag was simply one being pushed by assholes who enjoyed riling up the weaker parts of the fandom. And, let me tell you, these assholes succeed every time.

But, what was dismissed and ignored was the fact Nicola had a red bag in the background of her June 15, 2024 Tatcha post. If you need to see it for yourself, the video is still up on her Instagram grid. In the video, there is a shelf full of handbags of all sizes, and on the bottom of that shelf is, what appears to be, a large red bag (we can deduce this by acknowledging (a) it is red; (b) it is on a shelf full of other bags; and (c) it appears so large it needs to be tucked into the shelf). Is it THE red bag? Who the fuck knows? That is not the point. The point is, it is a red bag of some sort, and this fact should have outweighed the argument that the red bag belonged to Antonia.

But, it didn’t?

Why?

Because the fandom enjoys hysteria?

No, I don’t think it does. I’ve spoken to too many people on the verge of a meltdown to believe they enjoy spiraling.

So, what is it that causes good things to go bad so quickly in this fandom?

In my opinion, the answer lies somewhere between (a) the fandom believing that Lukola is too good to be true; (b) the fandom questioning their own intelligence and intuition; and (c) the fandom doubting the two people at the heart of this ship – Luke and Nicola. It’s strange to me that we would rather trust online bullies pushing their own deranged narratives than trust, at the very least, ourselves.

Whenever a Conscientiously Stupid tries to derail you, or an adjacent (ugh, there’s that word I hate again) pops up trying to make waves, take a moment to take a deep breath, roll your eyes, and have a good laugh (because I’m not going to lie, some of the shit that gets put out there is laugh-out-loud funny). But, most importantly, trust yourself and your intelligence because, if you're still in this fandom, your deductive reasoning skills are a chef's kiss.

And, to finish this story about the elusive red bag, just remember that Nicola posted an amazingly happy picture of herself the day after Luke, on an airplane, in first class on Aerlingus, an affiliate of British Airways that shares its first-class lounge. If these weren’t coordinated posts, I may as well say, “Screw it all,” and go live on a deserted island. Alone. With no phone. And no mascara.

Oh, and let me just slip in here that the elusive red bag quite possibly made an intentional reappearance in Nicola’s October 11 Olaplex story. But, I’ll leave any further speculation about that for a different day.

[writingescapades]

Book Lover P

I love how we all came as a community and agreed that Pinocchio is a bookworm. As a fellow bookworm, this worms my heart!

It was Lady Antonia who really introduced P to the library. Well more like she said the entire hotel was his to explore, and explore he did.

His desire for reading really came from a desire to be like his father. Get his approval. The big thumbs up from Papi.

He prefers to read at night, everyone is asleep and he has nothing else to do with this time. At first, he would just go out and continue to destroy puppets, but something changed after that first book.

The first book happened to be The Ugly Duckling. He would read and reread that story. Not fully understanding why he kept doing so.

It was in this state you found him. You promised yourself a night of reading as a reward for doing boring tasks around the hotel. Lo, and behold there was Pinocchio… reading.

He immediately gets up, thinking you had a task for him. Poor boy. You inquire into what he’s reading and he hands it over, as if guilty.

Reading the cover, you smile and give it back, along with another book. It’s a book of fairytales. Needless to say, Pinocchio devours this book. There were more books of this nature??

Thus starts a bond between you two. Late night reading sessions. P eagerly tapping your shoulder when he sees something interesting. You reading aloud passages.

Many times the hotel residents would find you asleep on the floor  while P sat beside you and silently read. Lady Antonia asked him to move a sofa into the library, so that you could at least prevent catching your death of cold.

That scared P, who then always ushered you to the couch once you got your reading material for the night. He wasn’t killing puppets just for you to die of a cold.

As P grows and understands emotions, he would often bring a book to you, point to a passage where a character felt something he felt and then point to himself. It helped when you put words to define his emotions. He would store away that knowledge.

There were moments when P would come home after a late night of stalking, and instead of just spending time in the library, he would wake you up and silently point to a page in a book. He never said anything in those moments but the passage he pointed you told all.

He’s very adept at matching the people he meets (their stories) to the fairytales he reads. It became a bit of an inside joke between you too, such as thinking of red ridding hood when Alidoro appears.

And yes, as you two grow closer and he gains more humanity, he really relishes the closeness reading brings the two of you. Sitting together reading often ends up being wrapped up in blankets, sleeping (resting in his case). And he loves how you never seem to stop analyzing the books you read. Sometimes when he’s bored or needs to get through some chore, he likes having you around to fill the silence.

Loves to rest his head in your lap, around your chest and listen to you read. It’s not just your voice, but the vibrations he feels as he listens. It just makes him feel nice inside. If you fall asleep, he likes to pretend he also fell asleep, just to hold onto the moment longer.

Most of the relationship is you giving him books to read, but every once in a while, he’ll surprise you with a recommendation. It’s not always something he read, but something he thinks you might like.

And yes, any book he finds outside comes straight to you.

Imagine teaching him to write down his thoughts and make his own story! That thought really hits him when he denies his father and the fight happens. It’s the first time he chose his own path.

You can always tell what mood he’s in by what he’s been reading.

The day that made you cry though was several weeks after Geppetto’s death. P was strangely quiet about his father’s secret and subsequent death, and though you pressed him to communicate something to him, you also knew he needed his space. So you took to seeing what he had been reading. But there was only one book, The Little Match Girl. He had been reading the story over and over again, seemingly lost in the young protagonist’s visions. You cried hard that day. How must he feel after being betrayed, insulted, and rejected by his father as both Carlo and Pinocchio?

You hugged him hard that day, and told him that he is not doomed by a fairytale narrative.

You knew you had your Pinocchio back when you hugged your back and you could feel just a few drops of tears on your neck.

[thatsmzbitchtoyou]

Yes Mama Chapter 1

Summary:  Bucky Barnes has made quite the name for himself in the underground mob boss world.  But he’s not the boss.  Just the face of the Family.  

Warnings:  violence, subtle mention of drugs, murder, language, possessiveness, smut, mild choking, public sex

Kids: oldest (from Steve) Frankie 12, second (from Tony) Antonia 10, third (from T’Challa) Uuka 8, fourth (from Bucky) Beau 6, fifth (from Bucky) Lottie 5, sixth (from Bucky) Valentina 3

Next chapter

The man cried heavily, his pathetic sniffles and watery eyes making Bucky’s eye twitch in annoyance.  “Please, boss, I’m sorry!” he said for the hundredth time.

Bucky punched him again with his metal hand, splitting the man’s cheek open, a fresh gush of blood spattering across the wall next to them.  “Fucking prick,” Bucky sneered.  “All I asked was for you to make sure the shipment got from point fucking A, to point fucking B.  But you saw a golden opportunity and decided to try out the merchandise for yourself and your buddies–”

“Boss, I–”

“Shut up!” Bucky yelled, slapping him hard across the face, making the man whimper.  “I wasn’t done speaking, asshole.”  The man nodded, his hands up in surrender.  “Apparently I have to babysit every fucking piece of shit driver on the payroll.  Don’t we take care of you?  What is your family gonna do without your monthly stipend?”

The man’s eyes widened.  “No, please, I made a mistake.  I’ve got a problem, but I’ll get clean!” he pleaded.  “I’ll make it up to you!”  

“Even if you could,” Bucky sighed, reaching into the side of his jacket and pulling out a gun from the holster on his side, turning the safety off and pointing it at the man, “how could we ever trust you again?”

The man started hyperventilating as he stared at Bucky’s gun.  “Please, my wife…my kids, I–”

“They’ll be taken care of,” Bucky said, sounding bored.  “Just not by you.”  He shot him between the eyes, watching the life drain from his face and his body crumple to the blood soaked floor.  He stood still for a moment before turning the safety back on and putting the gun back in the holster.  He turned to the people lining the wall behind him who had watched on.  “Clean this up before Mama gets home,” he said.  “I don’t want the kids to see or hear anything.”

“Yes, boss,” they all said in unison, before jumping into action, cleaning the room and disposing of the body.  Bucky sighed again and headed out of the room, walking up the stairs, taking the elevator then trudging through the hallways until he got to his room.  He stripped out of his clothes, throwing the blood spattered ones in the fireplace before getting in the shower.  He scrubbed his hands thoroughly, taking extra care to make sure all the blood and gore was cleaned from the plates and divots in his metal hand and arm.  Once he was sure all the evidence was gone he got out of the shower, wrapping the towel around his waist before opening the bathroom door to find Y/N sitting on the edge of his bed.

“Buck,” she greeted him, her ever-present smirk on her lips.

“Mama,” Bucky greeted her back, his own smirk lighting up his face.  “To what do I owe the pleasure of your company?  Especially after I just got out of the shower?”

Y/N shrugged, her eyes scanning his body before looking toward the fireplace where his clothes were already burning.  “Business as usual,” she said.  “Report?”

Bucky hummed and approached her until he was standing a foot away.  “Had to take care of a rat problem.”

“Again?” Y/N’s face morphed into a look of frustration.  

Bucky nodded, crossing his arms.  “A driver got handsy with the shipment and shared it with his buddies.  Took care of them, too,” he answered her question as she opened her mouth.  

Y/N sighed heavily, shaking her head as she looked down at her hands.  “So disappointing,” she murmured.

Bucky frowned.  He knew how much this kind of thing affected her, and it always pulled at his heartstrings whenever she was upset.  Damn his overprotective, bleeding heart.  “Don’t worry about it, Mama,” he reassured her, his metal hand reaching forward, his fingers tipping her chin up to look at him.  “I’ve got you.”

Y/N eyed his metal hand, a hungry look flashing in her eyes.  She looked up at him through her lashes then took his metal hand in hers as she stood up.  He was much taller than her, but it didn’t deter her as she peered up at him then brought his hand to her lips, softly kissing each fingertip.  “I know you do, Buck,” she whispered, kissing his palm.  “You’re always my number one.”

“And I always will be,” he promised, pulling the hand that held his hand from her mouth to his lips, kissing the ring on her left index finger that she always wore.  It was a thick, gold banded signet ring, a crest etched into each side of the band with a large, deep but vibrant red ruby setting.  “Till the end of the line.”

Y/N’s eyes flicked across his face before she squeezed his fingers and dropped their hands, loosely holding his fingers still.  “You should come see the kids.  They haven’t seen you in a while.”

Bucky nodded.  “I’ll come down in a few.”

Y/N nodded then slowly took a step back.  Her smirk returned and she let go of his hand before walking around him toward his door.  She didn’t look back as she opened the door and left, shutting it behind her soundly.  Bucky puffed out a harsh breath as he palmed himself through the towel.  When was he ever going to stop reacting to her this way? 

***

Bucky and Y/N had a long and complicated history together.  He was born into a rival family under the Hydra organization.  His father had made a deal with Y/N’s father, and when he couldn’t keep his end of the bargain Y/N’s father had swooped in and laid waste to Hydra, taking over their operations and merchandise.  Bucky was a teenager when it all went down, and Y/N’s father had taken him under his wing rather than offing him, seeing he held a lot of potential.  Bucky knew that his parents were doing illegal things, and that Y/N’s family was doing the same, but hers did it with a sense of dignity and strong family ties to the people around them, rather than treating them like servants or less-than.  He felt like this was where he belonged all along.  When they met as teenagers she was cordial, sometimes flirtatious, and Bucky liked her, but her father was overly protective and wouldn’t have stood for any adolescent, angsty shenanigans

Bucky quickly rose through the ranks in her father’s inner circle, and when he died and Y/N took over, Bucky was inherited as part of the empire.  He admired the way she ran things.  Her father was old fashioned, traditional, while she was ready to expand and do so with 21st century means and a nod to her father’s old ways.  She had made sure nobody but those closest to her knew she was the boss, and made Bucky the face of the Family, handling most duties while she worked behind the scenes.  She infiltrated other families, going as far as getting pregnant with three of the neighboring Dons and having their children so that they wouldn’t ever dare try to come after her and her empire since she held their predecessors, thereby procuring lasting alliances and business deals.  If there was one thing mob bosses respected, it was family ties.  

Bucky was the boss, but she was the Queen.  Bucky and Y/N’s camaraderie quickly shifted into something deeper and more meaningful until they were married, popping out three kids of their own within four years.  It most likely would have been more if it wasn’t for the fights about the first three kids.  Bucky found it hard to care for them as anything more than like a neighbor kid that comes over all the time, whereas Y/N was always the attentive and caring mother they deserved.  And the fact that the oldest was his childhood best friend’s son always grated on him.  They were currently separated, not quite daring to divorce, but the option always loomed over them, feeling heavy and causing stress and tension.  

Even if they did divorce, it would technically mean nothing.  He would never leave her, the Family, or his kids.  She had saved him, in every sense of the word.  After a nasty fire fight that left him with a stump of a left arm she had done everything in her power to heal him and get him upgraded.  The metal arm was top of the line, made of materials and technology that was so otherworldly he couldn’t wrap his head around it.  All he knew was that she was his everything, and loved and cared for him more than anyone else ever had.  

He got dressed and went downstairs to the dining room where he heard the kids' voices echoing loudly.  Bucky walked into the room to find all six of them nearly bouncing off the walls as they awaited dinner to be served.  He shook his head then whistled loudly, making them all snap their heads toward him then run to face him in a single file line.

“That’s better,” Bucky huffed.  He walked down the line, inspecting each of them carefully, adjusting their shirts or their hair.  When he was finished his smirk grew on his face.  “You little heathens been good for Mama?”  

They all started smiling at him.  “Yes, boss,” they all said in unison.  

Bucky started to bend forward.  “You sure?” He narrowed his eyes.  They all started to lean away from him, fighting back giggles, until he jumped forward with a playful growl and they all squealed and scrambled away from him.  They were all laughing as he chased them, trying to grab each one at least once, tickling them and kissing their faces.  He finally caught the last one, the littlest and his youngest baby, Valentina, and kissed all over her face as she laughed and tried pushing him away.  “Act like you’ve got some sense and sit down for dinner,” Bucky laughed as he led the kids back over to the long table.  

“You and Ma take too long,” the oldest, Frankie, said as he sat down at his spot.

“Yeah, we were waiting forever!” the second oldest, Antonia said dramatically, her head rolling.  “We’re hungry!”  

Uuka, Beau, Lottie and Valentina all agreed with her until the clearing of a throat in the corner had them all stiffening in their seats and sitting up straight as Y/N walked in.  She had changed into a different dress, one of Bucky’s favorites that she would wear around the house, and she was followed by the staff bringing in the plates for dinner.  “Patience is a virtue, Toni,” she chastised.  She sat at the head of the table and waited until the plates had been served and she thanked the staff that left the room before she leaned forward and smiled at each of them.  “How were your days, my darlings?”

The room erupted with sound again as they each started talking about their day.  Y/N listened to each of them, giving her undivided attention to what they were saying, no matter how mundane it was, asking questions and making sure they felt heard.  Bucky always admired her way of parenting.  Her father had been a bit of a hardass, and she was that way, too, demanding respect from her kids.  But she was able to have fun and be personable with them, truly loving them each as their own person as well as in the collective of the Family.  

Bucky couldn’t take his eyes off her.  While they were separated, that didn’t mean that they didn’t occasionally enjoy each other.  As he watched her interact with the kids, in that damned house dress, he felt that sexual tension from earlier return.  Each child had made her curvier, plumper, and in his eyes, all the more beautiful.  She caught his stare a couple of times over dinner, a twinkle in her eye and a playful smirk on her face.  He hoped that meant she was feeling it for tonight, as well.

“Alright, my loves, time for bed,” Y/N announced, standing from the table.  There was a round of groans from the kids, but at the rise of Y/N’s eyebrows it went silent immediately.  “Bed.  Now.”  They all ran over to her, giving her hugs and kisses then doing the same to Bucky before quickly walking over to the nannies and body guards they had on staff that led them away to their rooms to help them get ready.  Bucky stood and walked around the table to stand next to her.

“God, I love it when you’re bossy,” he said lowly, leaning toward her ear.

Y/N huffed a silent laugh as she watched the kids walk away.  “I know you do,” she said.

Bucky moved to stand behind her, making sure the kids were all out of sight before he looped his arms around her waist and pulled her back against him, his head dipping down to the curve of her neck to her shoulder.  His lips pressed firm kisses along the skin exposed there, subtly licking and sucking up to her ear.  “You wanna boss me around tonight?” he whispered.

Y/N hummed, her head tilting so he could have easier access to her throat.  “I thought we were separated,” she said teasingly.

Bucky nipped at her jaw, making her gasp.  “So?” he asked.

She turned in his arms to face him, her hands settling on his chest.  “What are you trying to do, Buck?” she asked, her tone more sober and upset.  

Bucky frowned.  “I…”

“You want me, then you don’t want me.  You love the kids and you’re great with them, but confessed you don’t feel the same about all of them,” Y/N ranted, pushing away from him on his chest.  

“Y/N–”

“No,” Y/N shook her head and stepped away from him.  “I may want you, and god knows I love you something fierce.  That’ll probably never go away.  But if you’re not all in, with all that comes with me, then I don’t want it,” she said, tears starting to build in her eyes and her lips trembling.  Bucky felt like the wind was knocked out of him.  He’d made her cry.  He’d seen her cry before, but it had never been his doing.  How much had she cried since they separated?  She always put on such a strong front, he thought she was doing okay overall.  

“Mama–” 

“Goodnight, Buck,” Y/N interrupted him, sniffling quickly and clearing her throat.  She turned and swiftly walked out of the room, leaving him alone and even more heartbroken than before.

[lukolabrainrot]

Calm theory Anon here!!

I seen some conversations happening in the blogs and I wanted to put my two cents in. I know my opinion really doesn't mean anything but here it is anyways lol. I think that Luke and Nic didn't happen right away for a bigger reason. I think they both needed to do some growing. She had to let go of her past which clearly she's been hurt before hence the statement she made that she was cynical about love. And he needed to learn how to speak for himself. Watching his interviews, and how he naturally let nic lead which isnt a bad thing. But sometimes when you're a people pleaser, your voice tends to get smaller and smaller everybody else Voice overrides your. So whatever he went through in the summer I hope he's grown and overcome things that were holding him back. I honestly don't think that Luke chose Antonia over Nicola. I honestly don't think that Nic didn't want Luke or Luke didn't want Nicola. It just wasn't the correct time for them yet. Things happen when they're supposed to happen. I too like lukolabrainrot think that L and N are together. I think they're in the mist of filming. but I also think that they're going to spend whatever time they have to strengthen their relationship. I think the fans have gotten a little bit crazy and hated on Luke just simply because he was a man. I think that as a couple, they need to be stronger before they come out. And they're also just enjoying being around each other again. I think the break was good for them. There's an old saying the distance makes the heart grow fonder. They're already strong enough but when you overcome obstacles it makes them even stronger. They've had five years of friendship. they were around each other for eight months filming plus another 6 months touring in the world. They were around each other an awful lot. Their bond is so strong. It's made numerous people that's never shipped people in their life ship them. Their endgame.

Thank you for letting me speak and for giving me the space to speak.

Thank you as always for your input!! Glad you are here Calm Theory Anon!! ❤️️

I too agree that I think a lot of life is timing 😉

[willalove75]

Hey, I hope this isn't too complicated but can I request a fic where Y/N is going through heartbreak and Alcina is comforting her, angry someone could hurt the person she secretly cares about and loves the most?

Not complicated at all! Thank you so much for the request!💕

Tags: Fluff

A/n: My period is being an asshole again this month so here's something fluffy. I feel like shit so apologies if it's not my best but I hope you guys like it anyway💕💕

18+ Only Minors DNI (everrr)

Alcina is making her way down the staircase when the front doors open and a large group of maidens walk in. Earlier in the day the group went out for the weekly trip to the village and are just returning home. She pauses as they make their way inside, hoping to catch a glimpse of you coming in. For whatever reason your smile is always it's biggest and brightest when you come back from the village and the happiness that radiates off of you is infectious. Not only are you secretly Alcina's favorite maid, she's been admiring you from afar. When she sees you so inexplicably happy she can't help but feel happy herself.

"Good afternoon Mistress." "Good afternoon my Lady."

The girls say as they walk past her with their eyes glued to the floor. Very few of them dare to look up. Those that do can't seem to make eye contact with her. The maids inabilities to look at her make Alcina feel powerful, but that was also one of the reasons why you were so different. Not only did you look at her and were able to hold her eye contact longer than any other maid, you never looked at her with fear. It certainly threw Alcina off at first but eventually she came to cherish the small smile you would send her way when you crossed each others paths in the halls.

As the last of the girls file in her brows knit together when she doesn't see you.

"Antonia." Alcina says, calling to the maid that chaperoned the trip.

"Yes my Lady?"

"Is there a maiden missing? It seems like there are less of you returning than there are when you left." Alcina says.

She doesn't want to make it obvious that she's looking for you, but there is a hint of concern in her voice.

Antonia thinks for a moment and turns to Alcina.

"Ah, I believe you're talking about y/n?" She asks.

Trying to keep up her façade, Alcina gives her shoulders a light shrug but Antonia sees right through it. Antonia has been one of the Lady's head maids for nearly ten years now and knows Alcina better than the Lady herself would ever admit to. She smirks at Alcina who narrows her eyes at her a bit.

"She was the first one out of the carriage when we arrived although she seemed to be in an unusually unhappy mood. I believe I saw her run off towards the gardens."

Alcina lips form a thin line and she nods at Antonia.

"Thank you Antonia. That will be all."

Antonia gives the Lady a slight bow and isn't surprised when she sees Alcina changing directions to head off towards the gardens. With a small smile on her face, Antonia heads off to complete the rest of the work she has for the day.

Fall has officially hit the village and Alcina's daughters have been locked inside the castle once again until spring. The wind blows through the courtyard as Alcina enters it, the ends of her dress whipping in the cool air. She looks around for a few moments before finally finding you. Your back is turned and you're looking out over the vineyard and the vast landscape before you.

Alcina can hear your sniffles and your heart beating irregularly inside of your chest. Concern and anger begin to wash over her when she realizes you're upset. She decides to stride over to you in silence but since she doesn't want to completely startle you, she makes sure you can hear her footsteps before she approaches.

Tears stream down your cheeks as you look over the vineyard. The snowcapped mountains in the distance are so peaceful, so beautiful, you wonder if your heart would still be in pain if you got far enough away from this god-forsaken village. The sound of heels clicking across the brick pavement pulls you from your thoughts. You know right away who the footsteps belong to and you try to wipe your tears from your cheeks and pull yourself together before she sees you like this.

Alcina takes her place next to you, looking out over the vineyard, admiring the beautiful scenery before her. The two of you stand next to each other in silence for a few moments before she breaks it.

"This is one of my favorite views in the entire castle." She says.

"It's beautiful." You say, trying to keep your voice from shaking.

Silence envelopes you both once more. Another tear escapes down your cheek and you try to wipe it away without her noticing. But she does, of course she does. Alcina has been focused on you out of the corner of her eye since she walked up.

Things between you and you Lady have been weird to say the least. There's been gossip that she's taken a liking to you but every time a maid brings it up you brush her off. Telling them that she's just being friendly - which in turn many of the maids look at you like you're nuts. "Friendly" is definitely not a word any of them would use to describe the Lady. But deep down you've grown to care for her. The way she smiles only at you and the way her eyes light up when you randomly - or not so randomly sometimes - see each other throughout the day doesn't go unnoticed by you. But your heart had already been taken by another, by your girlfriend in the village. The love of your life.

Without saying a word Alcina places her large hand on your shoulder and leans you into her. The small act of kindness and comfort was enough to break through the hold you had on your emotions and your tears begin to fall once more. Her grip around you tightens. When a small sob escapes from your lips, Alcina bends down to your height and pulls you into her.

You bury your hands in your face and lean into her shoulder as you cry harder. Alcina cradles the back of your head with one hand and rubs your back with the other.

If someone were to see the two of you right now she'd probably kill them on sight. Never has she comforted a maiden like this before. In all honesty she's never cared for a maiden like this before either. Although the fear of someone seeing Alcina be kind and gentle to a maid - something that could take away the power she holds over her staff since she usually rules with an iron fist - is present in the back of her mind, she's more concerned about you than that at the moment.

"Oh draga," Alcina whispers. "who did this to you my sweet girl?"

A strong breeze whips around you both and the chill goes straight to your bones. The jacket you were wearing was not thick enough for standing around in the cold.

"Come, lets go inside before you get sick." Alcina says as she strokes your hair.

You nod and Alcina releases her hold on you and stands up. The tips of her fingers just reach the back of your shoulders when she stands at her full height and she guides you inside. Alcina leads you to one of her personal sitting rooms. It's one of the few rooms in the house that is off-limits to everyone except the Lady, her daughters and a few hand-picked maids. You've never stepped foot in here before.

It's a beautiful room with a large floor-to-ceiling bookshelf lining one of the walls. It has a large, ornate fireplace, a table with a few chairs, one chair bigger than the rest to accommodate the Lady's size and a gigantic armchair, also suited for the Lady.

Alcina closes the door behind her and walks over to the armchair. It's facing the fireplace and like every fireplace in the castle in the fall and winter, has a warm fire burning inside of it.

She sits in her chair and you stand in front of her with your eyes trained on the ground. Usually looking up at her is never an issue, but since you're so upset you can't bring yourself to do so. Alcina leans forward and places one of her large knuckles under your chin and lifts your gaze to meet hers. When you look up you see her gorgeous yellow eyes, they almost take your breath away. You've never been this close to her before. Every detail of her face is on clear display; the crows feet in the corners of her eyes, her delicate laugh lines that decorate her beautiful smile. The way her mascara is clumped in a few of her long eyelashes, the faint strokes her makeup brush left behind in her foundation. You can also make out the fine details of her eyes; you never realized she has hints of slate grey and blue mixed into the bight yellow in her irises. She truly is beautiful, absolutely breathtaking.

"Tell me draga mea, what has made you so upset?" She asks.

Tears begin to fill your eyes once more and you can feel your heart breaking inside of your chest. You go to open your mouth to speak but all you hear is your voice crack.

"I-I-"

Your words fail you and you begin to cry once more.

Lady Dimitrescu scoops you into her arms and sits you in her lap.

"Did someone harm you in the village?"

You can feel her grip tighten around you as she asks the question. She relaxes a little when you shake your head "no."

"But something did happen when you went into the village today, yes?"

When you shake your head "yes" you start to cry harder. Lady Dimitrescu cradles the back of your head once more and rubs your back.

"Oh fetița mea dulce, what on earth happened? You are usually so happy when you return from these trips."

She pulls you away from her a bit and cups your face with the hand she was using to cradle your head. Her large thumb wipes away your tears and she looks into your eyes.

"What happened?"

"My heart is broken."

Her eyes widen just a bit before she regains her composure.

"You had a lover in the village?"

"Yes."

"Who is he?" She growls.

"She was my girlfriend." You say, avoiding eye contact with the Lady. No one you work with knows you had a girlfriend. Honestly, not many people you know even in the village knew.

A faint blush crosses Alcina's cheeks. She had no idea you were interested in women and is a little embarrassed she assumed you were talking about a man.

"My apologies, who is she?"

"Her name is Bianca. She- I loved her more than anything. We've been, well, we were together for six years."

More tears run down your cheeks as Lady Dimitrescu wipes them away. When you look up into her eyes you see compassion and a hint of anger, but you can tell that the anger isn't directed at you. It's directed at whoever hurt you - at Bianca.

"I am so sorry draga. Sometimes these things just don't work out-" She says, trying to comfort you. You close your eyes and knit your eyebrows together and Alcina realizes that something more went on. "what happened?"

"Usually I tell her when I'm going to visit, but today I wanted to surprise her. She's been having a tough time lately and I thought if I surprised her it would make her feel better. So I went to her house and let myself in, she gave me a key a few years ago. It was still early so I figured she was still asleep so I went into her bedroom and found her in bed with someone else." You start to cry again and Lady Dimitrescu pulls you into her.

She holds you tight and rests her cheek against your head. As you cry into her she rocks you and whispers "shh draga, it's okay. It's okay."

"I loved her so much." You cry. "And she was mad at me for getting upset. She told me it was selfish of me to stop her from seeing other people while I lived and worked here at the castle. That it was my fault."

You hear a low growl rumble deep inside Lady Dimitrescu's chest.

"That is absolutely ridiculous. The nerve of that girl. Blaming you for her infidelity. You did nothing wrong draga mea, nothing." She comforts you more as you sob into her. "You deserve so much more than that, so much better."

"I loved her so much. She told me she loved me, that she wanted to be with me for the rest of her life." You say through tears. "And now I'm all alone, I don't have anyone."

"You're not alone draga, as long as you are here you will never be alone."

Alcina begins to rock you and starts humming. She closes her eyes and rests her cheek on your head as you start to calm down.

You've only ever heard Lady Dimitrescu sing once before and it was only an echo from down the hall. Now you can hear her voice perfectly as she hums above you. You can feel the vibration against your face with your cheek laying against her chest. Her voice is beautiful and soothing. Even though your heart still feels like its in pieces in your chest, your tears begin to dry and you start to relax in her arms.

Never in a million years did you think you would ever be here - laying in your Mistresses arms as she consoled you. Of course you've seen her at her worst, lashing out at other maids, hurting them, disfiguring them, you even saw her kill someone once. But for the most part, every time she did something like that it was more or less justifiable. At least what constitutes as justifiable here in the castle - in terms of the outside world, well, that was a different story. But she was always kind to you and you always obeyed, did your work, stayed out of trouble and did your best to help the other maids when you could.

It was those traits that made Alcina notice you from the start. She is very attentive, even when her staff doesn't think so. With her supersonic hearing she can hear nearly everything that goes on within the castle. The maids would be amazed at what she hears and doesn't act on. Usually when a punishment for a certain maid seems out of the blue, to Alcina it isn't because she knew what that maid had been doing or saying for weeks before she found an excuse to properly punish them. But she never heard anything bad about anyone, including herself or her children, leave your lips. You were always the first to help another maid when needed and you always did your job - and did it damn well too. When she realized you weren't afraid of her like the other maids were, that was just the cherry on top.

As your tears stop falling and your cries soften you feel exhaustion begin to take over.

"Feeling better?" She asks.

"Yes my Lady, thank you very much."

"Alcina."

"What?"

"When we are in private you may call me by my given name, Alcina."

"That's a beautiful name."

"Thank you, I am quite fond of it myself."

"Thank you, Alcina. For everything." You say.

"Of course draga mea."

You feel yourself start to doze off and Alcina notices. She adjusts you in her arms and you think she's going to put you down and send you on your way. To your surprise she cradles you in her arm so you're more comfortable.

Her eyes meet yours and she flashes you a warm smile.

"Rest, draga."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

A rogue tear rolls down your cheek and she wipes it away. She continues to rock you and hum and your eyelids grow heavier and heavier.

You don't know when it happened but at some point you lost your battle to sleep and drifted off in her arms.

Alcina watches you as your blinks become longer and longer before you finally fall asleep. She smiles down at you as you sleep in her arms and continues to hum. Her humming stops when she hears a soft snore escape.

"My sweet girl. No one hurts you and gets away with it. That dreadful woman will learn her lesson. You will never be alone, draga mea. That I promise."

Alcina brushes a stray lock of hair out of your face and caresses your cheek with the back of her finger. She rests her head against the back of the armchair and closes her eyes. She drifts off to sleep with a smile on her face as thoughts of what she plans on doing to the one that broke your heart dance in her head.

[missvelvetsstuff]

No Benefits

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Reader and Bucky are best friends until a drunken hook up. Bucky wants a friends with benefits situation because he doesn't feel ready for a relationship but reader knows that will lead to a broken heart.

Then Sharon Carter comes to work with them.

Notes: Steve and Tony are around but retired, everything else is mostly canon

Chapter 10

Warnings: swearing, angst

Notes: I'm sorry this update took so long. I had a big dramatic scene in the meeting with Nick Fury planned but I wrote and rewrote it for three days and it just never hit right so, hopefully this works.

Lemme know what you think, I live for likes, shares and notes.

Nick Fury landed at the compound late Monday afternoon and went straight into Maria Hill's office to meet for over two hours. He left to go back to his quarters for food and sleep.

Maria immediately logged on to her computer to send a meeting invite to the Avengers for the next morning.

The team discussed the email over dinner in hushed and worried voices. Even Tony and Steve seemed concerned. Sharon was done with her treatment and appeared to be back to her normal self, even if she did act like the ankle monitor she was wearing weighed a ton. There was an ongoing investigation into when Antonia first gave her the serum, before or after Sharon became the Power Broker, so the ankle monitor helped Friday keep track of her and prevented her from going outside of the residence floor, common room and medbay.

Sharon grabbed the seat next to Bucky and was flirting with him, although more subtly than previously. Bucky moved his chair over as far as he could to get away from her until Sam elbowed him in his ribs. Sharon didn't get the hint and tried playing footsies with Bucky until he 'accidentally' kicked her in the shin while still wearing the steel toed boots he had on when he was playing keep away with Sam's shield earlier.

Sharon yelped "What the fuck Barnes? Are you wearing steel toes? You nailed me right in the shin. It's not bad enough that my other leg has that stupid monitor which makes my leg ache, if anyone cares."

Bucky shrugged "Shouldn't have been trying to play footsies." He smirked at her "and, No, no one cares. Maybe deciding to become a crime lord wasn't your best call, huh?"

Sharon shook her head as she felt her face heat up and stammered out "B-b-but I, I w-was just uh st-stretching mmmy legs."

Sam choked on his drink as he tried not to laugh "Fuck! Sorry, went down the wrong way."

Bucky smirked as Sharon glared at Sam then looked down swearing under her breath. "I helped you assholes and ended up an enemy of the state, I should have let Ross deal with all three of you."

Steve cleared his throat and looked at them like a disappointed father whose kids are acting up during dinner, which made Sam laugh out loud.

Tony sighed "Alright children. A little play to ease the tension is fine but this shit is serious. Fury is going to come down on all of us and I don't feel like taking his abuse for something that I wasn't involved with. You!" He pointed at Bucky and Sharon "And Romanoff, are the reason Cookie left so I vote for you taking the brunt of his anger."

Bucky looked down at his plate as he moved the food around. "I know and I plan on accepting responsibility for my part in it. I've been trying to figure out how to convince her to come back but I'm stuck. I'm open to any ideas."

Tony nodded, unconvinced "Riiight, good luck with that.

Well if anyone's interested, Romanoff is still in a holding cell while medical takes care of her. She's reportedly a difficult patient but seems to be improving."

There was a collective groan before Bucky shook his head "Pffft, not interested."

Sam snickered while Steve gave Bucky that dad look again to which Bucky just shrugged. "Well, I don't care. She's caused me too much trouble."

Steve sighed "She was being controlled, Buck. You can't hold her completely responsible."

"Maybe not but that doesn't mean I'm interested in her condition. I'm sure that the medical team will take care of her and it's not my problem. She was being weird even before all this drama. She tried to restart the whatever we had in the Red Room and I don't want her." His face dropped and he muttered sadly "I just want Cookie."

"Right, jerk." Steve looked around "It's getting late, we should all get some rest so we're up to dealing with this meeting tomorrow."

The others nodded and mumbled agreement before getting up to clean and heading to their rooms. Sharon tried again to talk to Bucky but he strode away too quickly for her to catch him.

Bucky tried to sleep but couldn't, like most nights since he pushed Cookie away he laid in his bed staring at the ceiling. Looking at the 'glow in the dark' galaxy and blue twinkle lights that Cookie decorated his room with. She said it was too impersonal and decorated with posters, soft pillows with matching blankets and such. All space related, galaxy patterns. Usually it was calming but not right now.

Now he spent most of his time either in therapy, writing to Cookie or wallowing. Feeling angry at being controlled again, feeling sorry for himself, feeling empty because she wasn't here.

He got up to sit at his desk and write another letter to her. The letters started as declarations of his love and apologies for his actions, whether he was in control of himself or not. Now they were a running commentary of each days events and activities, plus whatever topics branched off from that, like they used to have in the evenings after dinner. They would lay on his bed with his music playing softly, holding hands and staring at the galaxy overhead, talking about their day and whatever else came to mind. Sometimes they had stayed awake talking until the sun came up.

Bucky fell asleep at his desk as he was writing, only to be jolted awake by Friday. An alarm and reminder of the meeting in 1 hour. A hot shower didn't help wake him up so he headed to the kitchen for coffee. He grumbled the entire way, Fury scheduling a meeting at 5am was just cruel and unusual, Bucky knew it was just the beginning of the punishments they would endure until things were set right.

Just to ensure that this day was shit from the gate, the first face Bucky saw was Nat, in the kitchen. He sighed and cursed his luck.

Nat smirked "Morning Barnes, you look like you haven't slept. I can come by later and help tire you out." She practically purred.

Bucky scoffed "Hard pass." Proud of himself for remembering some of the current slang that Cookie had been trying to teach him. As he looked down he noticed Nats ankle monitor and chuckled "Nice jewelry you've got there."

Nat scowled at him "Fuck you, Barnes."

Bucky smirked "In your dreams" as Nat stomped off.

He poured himself a cup of coffee and headed towards the conference room where Steve was already waiting. He grunted a greeting to Steve and took a seat. The rest of the team trickled in until a few minutes before 5 when Nick Fury strode in, Maria Hill following right behind. Tony ambled in shortly after and sat down.

Three hours later, everyones ears were ringing from the yelling. As they walked out of the conference room, Bucky and Sam were arguing over how many times Fury hollered "mother fucker/s" over the course of the meeting.

Sam just shook his head "I've never met a man who could yell for that long without losing his voice." He looked at Bucky then towards Sharon and Nat

"All y'all better get your acts together because if I ever have to sit through 3 hours of being yelled at by Nick Fury for something I didn't do again, someone's gonna pay."

Fury had cancelled all leave, every extra perk the team had and assigned additional training and chore duty. None of them would be having much fun anytime soon.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Every day Cookie came home from work there was another letter from Bucky. She ate dinner alone, staring at the stack of letters, afraid to find out what they said.

Every time she thought about it she started thinking he was ending their friendship for good, then argued with herself that he wouldn't keep writing if that were the case.

On Friday night she sat on the couch eating takeout with the news on in the background. It almost felt like the letters themselves were calling out to her. Once she finished eating she cleaned up her mess and poured a second glass of wine. She sat back on the couch, turned the news off and turned some soft jazz music on before looking at the stack and sighing.

Cookie took a long drink of her wine before finally picking up the first letter. She looked over it for a few minutes, searching for any hint of what was said inside but it was just a plain envelope with Bucky's writing.

She carefully opened it and pulled the papers out. She took another drink to calm her nerves and unfolded the papers, gasping when something fell out, onto her lap. She looked down and her eyes grew wide as she picked up Bucky's dog tags. He never took them off, being one of the few items left from his past, he was very attached to them.

Cookie looked at the tags only to notice a second pair of tags. They were nicer than the set the Army gave Bucky when he enlisted. They had his full name and nickname, birth date with his birthstone and instead of his serial number it said 'Property of Y/N Y/L/N, bka Cookie, please call or return to the Avengers compound.' She laughed and couldn't hold the sob in.

With tears running down past the smile on her face, she put the dog tags over her head, held them against her heart and started reading.

Dear Cookie,

I'm not sure where to start, I have so much to say and the words keep getting mixed up in my head.

I miss you, more than I ever imagined missing someone. This place feels empty and cold without your warmth, your smile lit up my days and now everything seems dark.

I'm so, so sorry for everything, I never wanted to hurt you. I've only ever wanted to love and worship you like the goddess you are.

You probably already found my dog tags, I want you to have them. The other set were kinda meant as a joke but it's true. You own my heart and I think you always will.

I knew, that first day we met, that you were it for me. I know it might not have seemed like it at first but you scared me. The way my body reacted to your simple handshake scared the Hell outta me. I was a mess and you were so beautiful and smart. And caring, patiently waiting for me to come out of my shell. I know you deserve a better man than me but my time with Doctor Raynor has taught me that I do deserve happiness and good things.

The night we spent together was the best night of my life. I was finally feeling like I could be the man you deserve and even if you hate me and never want to speak to me again, I will Always hold the memory of that night, of being with you, making love to you, that feeling that everything is exactly how it's meant to be. I'll never let that go, even if I live another 107 years.

I'm sorry that our bliss was destroyed so quickly but if you let me, if you want to, we can rebuild it into something stronger.....

The letter went on with an update on life in the compound and Bucky's thoughts about everything. Cookie skimmed through that part, Sam had been keeping her updated on the gossip so she barely paid attention.

The letter finished....

I hope you are happy where you are now and I'm sorry for avoiding you. I didn't think I deserved your forgiveness or grace but now, I'm hoping I can earn both and prove to you that nothing is more important to me than your happiness.

All my love,

JBB

Cookie held the letter and dog tags to her chest as she cried herself to sleep, a deep restful sleep like she hadn't experienced in a long while.

@erelierraceala @capswife @ozwriterchick @cjand10 @wintrsoldrluvr @mrsbuckybarnes1917 @browneyedgrli @greatenthusiasttidalwave @hhiggs @dontworryboutitsweetheart-blog @behindmygreyeyes @pattiemac1 @calwitch @mrs-bucky-barnes-73 @ordelixx @blackhawkfanatic @casey1-2007 @scott-loki-barnes @selella @hiireadstuff @winterschildren8

Chapter 11

[fullofmeihem]

Where are the marks of your failed arts?

lies of p paring: pinocchio x reader word count: 1226 cw: i suppose it's more fluff than anything, lil angst, scars (bare minimum description of them), bare skin, reader isn't described with any traits beyond scars, can be seen as platonic or romantic idc

a/n: second real post lets gooo, i mentioned in a response to an ask but yeah, requests are open rn. i just beat the fuckin swamp boss in my play through y'all, it was sO GROSs, my streams are getting shorter too ;c im tired

Pinocchio was no longer new to change, in fact, change was welcome in his new-found appreciation for the good of the world. Making decisions, while difficult, was a beautiful and complicated process of life. Some decisions hurt more than others, some hurt less. Many of the decisions he had made so far have been social, many of his physical situations didn't allow room for choices.

But he had noticed a difference in his ability to choose while fighting alongside you. A Stalker, human. Your choices aligned with him within those social situations, a silent agreement to minimize the hurt of your collective friends; protecting their hearts as you already did their bodies.

Your worlds coexisted peacefully for a short, yet beautiful time, until his world had broken from the rules they lived by, thrust into the world of rage and submerged anguish. The two of you hadn't met until after the devastation of the frenzy, he'd met you while you had been fighting against The Parade Master.

He could recall it like it was yesterday.

He'd rushed up the stairs and entered the arena-like area after hearing a loud crash, alerted that something sounded off in the area by the merchant outside of the entrance.

You had just been thrown into the metal fence lining the battleground, the metal behind you dented with the force of the puppet's throw. He was quick to notice the multiple other dents within the fence, the fight hadn't been easy for you.

And yet, you got back up.

Blood dribbled its way down your chin as you stumbled back to your feet.

The Parade Master had taken quite the beating, so with one more hit from you it seemed to be done for... It was never that easy. The Parade Master's mask would crack and fall to the floor as it roared with a new rage, a new desire for victory. The puppet was hungry for its win.

Pinocchio had to step in, no longer held back by the amazement of your resilience.

The two of your beat the larger puppet with ease once there were two sources of damage. While the rest of the track to the hotel wasn't easy--this is where Pinocchio learned humans don't heal as quickly as he does--you two had made it.

Tense moments constantly followed the two of you throughout your journey, with almost every battle you'd earned a new wound. These healing injuries would have you holding back in the upcoming fights you needed to face.

With your close travels came trust that ascended beyond battle buddies, you'd become companions. Because of this, you knew very well that Pinocchio could fight most, if not all, of these battles on his own. The insistence of Antonia and Geppetto had you kept in the hotel for the past few weeks, leaving your companion to fight by himself.

At first, it was weird for Pinocchio. He was used to your taunting calls, beckoning your human enemies to mess up and allow for easy openings. He had become accustomed to your anger when a few puppets were being particularly difficult. Occasionally, he had to work around your recklessness, mind-numbing pain sometimes overrode your better judgement. The uniqueness of your person kept him on his toes, and it was a comforting thing for a special creation of man.

But now being on the field felt wrong. Your banter, or often mindless chatter, was a human experience in a world of destruction.

So, a few weeks into your journey of healing, Pinocchio decided to spend some time within the hotel as well.

Pinocchio was wandering the expensive halls when he stopped outside of the wooden door to your room, staring at the material for a moment longer than he usually did. He took the moment as a sign to knock.

You called, asking who it was, when there was a lack of an answer Pinocchio heard you laugh quietly before granting him permission to enter your room.

Bare skin was not a new sight for the puppet, occasionally on the field you'd need to rip your shirt to wrap a wound, or maybe a pant leg, depended on the situation. So he approached in his typical fashion: unbothered.

However, Pinocchio finally noticed things he had yet to about you. Since the situation held no immediate danger, he had allowed himself to study your form, becoming aware of raised or engraved patterns along your skin. Your skin was lighter along some scars, darker along others, again, depended on the situation in which you earned the permanent prize.

Your eyes trailed his, watching what he saw. Your gaze shifted when he brought a hand to your arm, tracing one of your deeper scars with his eerily real synthetic skin.

"I was distracted then," You'd respond to his touch, his eyes would meet yours, "Could've cost me the arm." Your shrug concerned him.

Pinocchio would switch where his fingers lay, tracing a scar along the front of your torso. You let him, noticing how his expression shifted, how his eyebrows pinched towards each other. You knew he remembered how you received this one.

"It wasn't your fault," Reassurance laced your words, though the puppet shook his head. You wouldn't be able to change his mind even if he agreed.

This continued for a while, his fingers would run over, trace, and circle your scars and you would explain how you got them or watch as he battled himself in his mind. There were moments where you wished he'd tell you what he thought, but he was a puppet of little words, and you could understand him through the shifts of his expression.

Finally, his hand would trace over one of your larger scars, one engraved into your back.

You would smile a little, knowing where his hand lay in the maze of your scars.

"Do you remember when we met, P?" Your question was ridiculous to him, of course he did, "That one's from then." You would finish your thought after letting the silence sit in the air for just a moment longer.

Pinocchio would trail his fingers along the main puncture scar, followed by the lesser but still deep scratch scars from your encounter with The Parade Master. He would recall seeing this scar every now and then, aware of its presence. But, the puppet had never been this close to the wound. Eugenie had first taken care of you when the both of you arrived at the hotel, you'd nearly passed out from blood loss.

The softest of smiles graces his features as he remembers how insistent you were about joining him in his journey, even while injured from your first encounter. Sophia had been so against the idea, but she couldn't stop you.

You glanced over your shoulder when Pinocchio's fingers came to a halt, taking in his smile.

"What's so funny, P?" You'd tease, a brow raising at his expression. Soon, you'd lose the warmth of his synthetic skin against your scarred skin.

"Always so persistent, your spirit is admirable," His eyes would meet yours once again, a glint of appreciation present in his expression.

His words would take you for surprise, always a puppet of few words. Nevertheless, you couldn't help but smile as well. He was right, after all, the human spirit was always so persistent.

:)

[gaysindistress]

Связи (n.) connections - three

disclaimer: credits to original creator/poster of image/gif. found on google/Pinterest

pairings: mob!bucky x reader

Summary: “Did you think you could hide from us? That’s adorable, little one. There’s no where on this planet where you could hide from the Shostakov Bratva and even if you did manage to evade us, the Barnes Bratva would find you. Your связи, your connections, will always come back to haunt you, Y/N.”

Warnings: cursing, I know I know it’s pretty mild but it’s getting there

Word count: 2.6k

part two | series masterlist

taglist: @scott-loki-barnes @unaxv @identity2212

A/n: I already know this weekend is going to crazy for me and many others so I’m posting part three early as an early Christmas present. Enjoy!!

I don’t know who I should shoot first; Bucky or Carol?

Both are looking like good options at the moment.

“So let me get this straight, the FBI needed help getting shit on my family and the Barnes Bratva just decided out of the kindness of their heart to help? Oh and somewhere there needed to be a marriage between the Barnes and Shostakov families?”

Carol is quick to correct me, “wait no. We found a way around the marriage so that won’t be necessary anymore.”

Sam makes a surprised noise and Bucky shoots him a death glare. This interaction doesn’t go unnoticed by Carol and she questions them.

“There was a change of plans,” is all Bucky offers.

“What the fuck could’ve changed that much?” Carol sneers as she steps in front of where I’m sitting at her kitchen table. Bucky rolls his eyes at the display of dominance and possessiveness over me.

“Alexei was the one who suggested a marriage and he was adamant that it was the only way to solidify the merge. With Nat gone and Antonia lurking around, he wasn’t going to let it go so I decided to not fight him on it.”

“That’s not what we agreed to.”

“We agreed that I get you whatever information you ask for by whatever means I see fit and you don’t get to ask questions about it. You wanted an insider and that’s what I gave you,” he says in a low voice that’s edged with brewing anger.

“That didn’t mean marrying my girlfriend.”

Bucky looks at me from over Carol’s shoulder and holds my eye contact as he says, “she’s my wife and Sovietnik now so whatever protection our agreement offered is extended to her too.”

Carol scoffs, “she was always going to be safe. You had no right to do…”

“Your word means nothing, Danvers. You have no way of protecting her and you know it. Like I said, she’s my Sovietnik now. No one can touch her even if her father tries to pull her down with him.”

My eyes widen at his words and I’m quick to avert my gaze when Carol turns to me. We both know that he’s right, she wouldn’t have been able to do anything if Alexei implicated me when he’s arrested. I would’ve been as good as dead but now that I’m (maybe?) married to Bucky and apparently his newly appointed Sovietnik, I’m untouchable.

Sam clears his throat, “Welcome to the family, Y/N. Looks like we’ll be working closely.”

I smile at Sam, “I’m assuming you’re his bookie then?”

“Obshchak, I’m his Obshchak,” Sam says in an annoyed tone.

Carol is still fighting with Bucky but she stops to start arguing with me.

“No you will not be working with him. You’re not going anywhere.”

Bucky stays quiet and waits for me to say something. His sharp eyes cut into me and make my body stand on high alert as he stares expectantly at me.

“Carol, honey, I don’t think I have a choice,” I begin as my gaze darts between her and him. “Alexei will get suspicious if I’m not with Bucky and if you expect me to be able to get anything useful out of him, then I have to play his game. This is the way it has to be.”

The hurt is clear in her eyes and it pains me to have caused it but I’m backed into a corner. There’s more going on, more at stake than I originally thought and I’m starting to realize that if I want to make it out alive, I have to keep my head down.

“It won’t be forever. After Alexei is behind bars, I’ll get a divorce and we can wash our hands of this entire mess. It’s not like we have to break up.”

“No, you have to,” Bucky breaks our bubble of honest devotion and we both snap our eyes to him. “If anyone were to see you together, the entire operation would be blown. Even getting a divorce is out of the question for the time being.”

“And why is that?” Carol snaps at him as her hand finds mine and takes it into a crushing hold.

I whimper at the pain she’s causing me and Bucky tenses before nodding to Sam. He steps towards us and Carol’s grip intensifies. Standing, I try to hold it together and gently ask her to let go but she doesn’t hear me.

“Carol let go please. You’re hurting me,” I try a little louder and only when I say it again while pulling away does it register with her. She looks at me confused as I step away and rub the hand she’d been holding. Sam gingerly pulls me into him and leads me to Bucky’s side.

“From this moment onwards, you will treat Y/N like she’s my wife. You will not touch her, speak to her, or even fucking think about her. Any communication will come from Wanda and go directly to me as it should anyways. Until this operation is over, you will forget who she is to you and pretend that she doesn’t fucking exist. Do you understand me?”

Carol opens her mouth and I step forward to interject as well but Sam holds me back with a shake of his head.

“Nat’s blood is on your hands and I will not let you spill Y/N’s too.”

I freeze.

What did he just say?

“She left our custody. What happened afterwards is not our fault.”

“You both have 4 seconds to tell me if either of you had something to do with Nat’s death,” I mutter, completely still in Sam’s light hold.

Carol has the audacity to look upset and Bucky keeps his usual cool.

“The Feds had her in their custody after the first threat was made. They were supposed to keep her off grid until either Antonia or Alexei were arrested or one of them was killed. Carol was the one assigned to her when she went missing and later turned up dead,” Bucky tells me and my mouth falls open in shock.

“How long?” I ask Carol.

“I…”

“How long have you been lying to me?”

“Babe…”

“She’s known the entire time,” Bucky answers when Carol drowns in her own lies and deceit. “I’m guessing it’s the reason why…”

“No,” she interrupts him and looks at me. “Babe, I promise everything about us is real. None of it was a lie or a trick.”

Her bullshit isn’t worth listening to. Even if she had truly liked me and asked me out because that’s what she wanted, it all started as a plot to get closer to Alexei. I started as a plot to get to Alexei. To make matters worse, she was the one responsible for my sister’s death and forced me to take Nat’s place.

Sam leads me out of the apartment and back to the car as Bucky and Carol no doubt continue to argue. Once in the car, I finally find my words but they feel useless in my mouth. I want to know why I was brought here. What was the point of bringing me here only to lay out betrayal after betrayal? What was the purpose of telling me any of this if I’m expected to keep up appearances and play my part?

The only word that does come out is why and Sam almost breaks his neck to look at me, apparently shookes that I’ve spoken.

“He wants you to know the truth.”

“The truth? All he’s done is break any trust I’ve built with anyone and made it so I don’t know what truth even looks like anymore.”

Sam sighs, “but at least you’ll know that he will always be honest with you. Even if you don’t trust him or me, you’ll know that we’ll tell you the truth.”

“How did she die?”

He takes in a sharp breath and hesitates. I know he doesn’t want to tell me but he did just vow to always be honest with me.

“Gunshot wound. She would’ve died instantly.”

“She felt nothing,” we both whisper to ourselves.

Bucky climbs into the passenger seat and briefly glances at me in the back before giving Sam the go ahead. He doesn’t say anything to me but reaches his hand back and gently clasps my leg. It’s something he used to do to Nat when she was nervous. She would always bounce her leg when she was nervous and he was always right there to ground her. The action hurt because I knew it was subconscious. He didn’t do it because it was me, he was doing it because he was thinking of Nat.

They’d been dating when I was kidnapped but our lives didn’t leave room for romance or love. I can only imagine that it was a matter of time before the demand of their families became too much, forcing them apart. I stare at the hand clasped around my calf and I want to ask about her but I can’t do it. I can’t think about her or how I’m now married to the man that was definitely the love of her life. I can’t think about how he is definitely thinking about her as he tries to comfort me. Maybe it’s better this way. Maybe it’s better that I let him love a ghost and I pretend to not notice it. Or maybe it’s not. I don’t know what to think anymore.

Instead I look out the window and watch the city pass by as I think back to when we first met. I think I was maybe 9 when we met and I was scared to death to meet the famed Barnes family. My own family was infamous, sure but there was a dark air to the Barnes boys. Bucky and his older brother, Joseph, were always moving in the shadows of rooms and slipping in and out without notice. Yelena and Natasha told me enough stories about them that I was convinced they were the bougie man’s henchmen.

Joseph scared me the most. He was taller and leaner than Bucky but a thick beard covered his jaw and it hid any emotion or expression on his face. Bucky was no more than 19 and he had been the one to approach me first. He made a joke at Nat’s expense and earned himself a playful shove but that small introduction told me enough that I knew I could trust him. If he could make Nat smile and make her trust him, I could do the same. Joseph rarely came around after that, too busy being groomed to be the next Barnes Pakhan so that left Bucky to entertain us girls.

Nat and him grew the closest being that they were only a few years apart but I always had a crush on him. I never did anything about it because well he’s ten years older than me. I made a promise to myself that when I got older, I would tell him but that never happened. I disappeared from their lives and besides, he loved Nat and I wouldn’t want to or be able to compete with her. Though, now it seems that fate wants to be cruel and gave me what I wanted but took something of equal value in return. I could have Bucky but my sister would be payment.

The thought is too sobering and I subtly move my leg out of his grip. He gives it a squeeze before retracting his hand.

—-------

“Sam?”

He hums in response as he sits next to me scrolling his phone. Bucky had left us in the waiting room of what I imagine is his attorney’s office and ordered that we stay put.

“Why did you kidnap me?”

He blinks up at me and gives me a deadpan look, “maybe not say that in a law office.”

“Maybe don’t do it then. Oh wait you already did and I want to know why.”

“You’ll have to ask Buck,” he says as he returns to scrolling tiktok aimlessly.

“Why?”

“Because I said so.”

“Why?”

“Are you six or something? Enough with the why bullshit.”

I smirk, “why?”

He lets out a dramatic sigh as he digs into his pocket and pulls out his airpods. He makes a point to make as much movement as he can so that I see him put both in.

Standing up, I walk over to his couch and plop myself down next to him. He looks at me from the corner of his eye and turns away from me. I scoot closer until our thighs are touching and he takes out one airpod as he stares at me.

“What?”

“Why?”

“Oh my fucking god.”

Just then Bucky walks out and gives us a confused look before saying goodbye to his attorney, Mr. Murdock. The man is wearing sunglasses and it takes me a second to realize that he’s blind and not a douchebag.

“Everything okay?” Bucky asks Sam who is acting like an annoyed older brother.

“She’s about to get punched.”

“Are you threatening to punch my wife, Wilson?”

Both of our eyes widen and Bucky makes it worse when he starts laughing. He shakes his head as he starts to walk away and gestures for us to follow behind. Sam whispers to me that he is not afraid of Bucky and he will fight me if I keep being annoying. I giggle which causes Bucky to glance back over his shoulder at us and we straighten up.

“You still haven’t answered my question,” I whisper to Sam and he rolls his eyes at me.

“What did you ask?” Bucky pipes up from in font of us. Before Sam can warn me to keep my mouth shut, I blurt out the very same question that started out bickering.

“Why did you kidnap me?”

“I’ll make you a deal. For every question you ask me, I get to ask one of my own.”

I weigh my options carefully. At this point there can’t be any secrets between us and if there were, I’m sure he would find them out in seconds. If he’s anything like my father, he would have ways of knowing them before I even did and the shit he pulled at Carol’s is evidence that he doesn’t give a single fuck about exposing them.

“Okay, you have a deal. Now tell me why you, Sam, and Joseph tried to kidnap us that night.”

Bucky’s jaw feathers at the mention of his brother and Sam tenses ever so slightly as well.

“She didn’t trust your father to be able to protect you after Dreykov so she found a way to do it herself.”

I stay quiet, waiting for him to finish but he doesn’t.

“You better not be done talking,” I say and he just looks at me through the rear view mirror.

I curse under my breath and cross my arms as I slouch against the seat. Of course he was vague. Why wouldn’t he be? It’s not like I specified that his answers had to be full and clear.

Sam seems to sense my frustration and lets more spill before Bucky stops him with a glare, “she set it all up; the fake kidnapping, the trust, living with Eve. She had it all figured out so that all three of you could disappear together.”

“What changed?”

“No,” Bucky mumbles. “One question at a time.”

I roll my eyes, “fine. Ask yours.”

“In due time.”

Sam snickers to himself and I sigh dramatically.

I’ve made my decision. Carol is getting blocked and I’m definitely shooting Bucky and Sam the next chance I get.

[anonymergremlin]

I want to feel you

Well there you go guys. My smut oneshot with P x Fem!Reader. You could say it has a certain naughty plot that ends up with I think romantic and sexy... well S€X. I hope you like it and as always thanks for reading my stuff. WARNING! SMUT

It has been like this for a few years. [Name] would leave the safety of the hotel in the morning, two blades in each hand, a firearm strapped to her hip, and the desire to fight again. Fight for the people of Krat, who had suffered far too long. Fight for the memory of her dear friend and the one she loved so much. This motivation was the only fuel left in her body to participate in this nightmare, even if it meant returning to the hotel exhausted and tired. But after the arrival of the good puppet, things changed, there were fewer puppets to fight, the number of madmen decreased and the hope in the people's eyes began to flicker again. Geppetto's puppet, P, is a blessing to everyone.

At first, [Name] kept her distance, watching the puppet from afar. By the way Lady Antonia looked at him and spoke to him, [Name] knew that the lady had the same thoughts as she did. His pretty face, his long chestnut hair, and the way he was built all looked way too familiar. Over time, she began to close the distance between herself and the puppet, to let him into her life and to open her heart to him. P is a useful companion, P is a chance for the desired end of chaos, P is a new beginning for her broken heart.

[Name] hadn't planned to go this far. She didn't think that she would end up kissing him after he came back from a dangerous mission, she didn't think that she would whisper sweet nothings into his ear every time he visited her in her little workshop in the basement of the hotel, and she certainly didn't think that she would want to take him back to her room to devour every part of his body. The young woman had opened her heart to him and he embraced it completely. As he became more human, he began to lean into her actions, becoming needy and romantic himself. He showed the effect of her gestures and words. It made her desire burn even more. Soon [Name] had to devour him.

The two lovers entered the hotel covered in blood and oil. It was now normal for her to be accompanied by him on what she called her hunts. P has to protect her, he wants to protect her, so [Name] had no choice but to let him go with her. Step by step they climbed the stairs, both of them heading for her room. [Name] opened the door slowly and walked in, taking off everything heavy from her tired body. Her coat hit the floor while her blades and weapon were carefully placed on a table. A sound of displeasure escaped her lips as she turned her head from side to side to relieve some of the pressure on her muscles. "Ahhh, it really hurts today. I should have been more careful."

"Mia cara."

[Name] turned around as the pet name finally reached her ears. Oh, by whatever god there is, she loved to hear him call her by that name. Her orbs focused on his face. She watched as his soft lips parted slightly and his eyebrows lowered to show his concern. "Oh, my love, it's all right. A little pain didn't stop me then and it won't stop me now," she said softly as she moved closer to him. Her left hand found its way to one of his cheeks, her thumb stroking the skin. She watched as he leaned into the gesture, moving his head slightly so that her touch reached every little spot. They stayed like this for a while before she moved in for a kiss. Their lips pressed against each other, both of their hands searching for a spot on each other's bodies.

It burns inside her. She needs him now.

With all the strength left in her body, [Name] pushed him and herself backwards. A light thud reverberated through the room as his back hit the wall. The tip of her tongue pressed against his lips, waiting for P to understand what was happening, or for a moment where he would open his mouth just slightly for her tongue to slip in. It wasn't a surprise to her that the second option became the true one. Without hesitation, she pushed her tongue into his mouth, swirling it around his as if she wanted them to dance. Unknown sounds, sounds she had never heard from him, left his mouth. The tongue kiss was a strange thing for him, but it felt so good. He began to mimic her actions, his tongue swirling around hers in a dance, playing with it.

They both stayed like this for a while until she pulled away. Thin strings of salvia hung from both of their lips, the young woman was breathing heavily, and from the way he was looking at her, she knew that he would probably be doing the same if he had to breathe at all. Her eyes swept over his body before she grabbed his coat. Helping him pull it off. "Come on, love. Let's take this to the bed," she whispered into his ear as she took his hand. [Name] pulled him close enough to her bed before giving him a little nudge. He felt backwards into the soft mattress, blue orbs still focused on her. If he had the ability to blush, he would look like a ripe, sweet cherry.

P watched as her hands moved over her body, slowly tugging at each piece of cloth that covered her skin. The puppet's eyes grew wider and wider as one piece after another fell off, until she was left with nothing but her natural beauty. "Do you like what you see, my love?" she asked him with a cheeky smile, slowly moving closer and kneeling on the bed right next to his two legs. [Name] sat down where his crotch would normally be and rubbed her lower half gently against him. She knew that P wasn't made like a normal human, that certain human parts didn't exist for him because they weren't considered necessary. But she didn't care, they would have their 'fun' in a different way.

The young woman leaned forward, her bare breasts pressing lightly against his chest. A few strands of his auburn hair found their way between her fingers. She played with them for a few seconds before planting a soft kiss on them. "You are so beautiful P, like a dream in the shape of a person, like a light that keeps you safe in the dark. You are simply amazing, my love". Her attention returned to his face, watching his reaction. Puzzled and enchanted, something she could read in his bright blue eyes. [Name] moved her face closer to his once more, kissing his lips before running her lips down the length of his throat and then stopping at his chest. Her fingers found their way under his shirt, carefully pushing it up to pull it off his body in one swift motion.

His chest was incredible. The skin looked so soft, so luminous and untouched. It felt like she was looking at one of those ancient paintings. A painting that summarised the word 'beauty'. The tip of her fingers rubbed circles into his skin, nudging him just slightly to see his reaction, and to her surprise, he did react. Soft, short gasps left his lips and his back arched slightly the more she touched him. It was beautiful, attractive and erotic, something that made the sensation between her legs burn even more. [Name]'s hands found their way into his trousers, pulling them down by the waistband. Now the puppet lay beneath her in his own naked glory.

Even without any significant human parts, without a cock between his legs, he still drove her crazy. A short moan escaped her lips, a blush covered her face. She couldn't hold back any longer. "P, my love, look at me. Look what you are doing to me." The young woman pressed her knees deeper into the mattress, moving her hips back and forth, rubbing her wetness against his body. The slight bulge beneath her, probably there to express a certain masculinity in the puppet form, felt so good against her needy clit. Her hands gripped his hips, using them to pull herself further into his frame. And he, he watched her satisfy her needs with his body while she made sure to give him a good time in return by letting him watch her. His eyes shone a strong blue, words wanted to leave his usually quiet throat, but they couldn't. The sight took his breath away.

"P… P!" she had moaned over and over again. His name fell from her lips as if it was all that was left in her mind. He watched as her pussy rubbed more and more against his artificial skin, leaving a wet trail that seemed to glisten slightly on his skin. Her two breasts bounced with every movement of her body, revealing what he thought was perfect roundness. The puppet loved to watch her show for him, he could feel a certain sensation running through his springs as he watched her. He was sure that if he were more human he would have felt the same thing, he would have felt aroused.

As he watched her continue to fuck herself with his body, a certain desire began to grow within him. He wanted to be more involved in this act. To be a part of her pleasure, away from the spectatorship and the enjoyment of the show. P placed one of his hands on her lower body, stopping her movement. He could see an unpleasant look behind her eyes. It must have been a bad moment for her pleasure, but he had to do it. With his other hand, he carefully pushed her off his body, allowing her body to fall beside him. [Name] wanted to raise her voice but was stopped by the feeling of cold metal touching her clit, rubbing it lightly with one finger while the other fingers found their way into her wet cave. "P! Ahhh… there. Yes, right there!".

His action came as a surprise. But not as much as the fact that he knew almost immediately where to place his fingers. P's movements with his fingers are gentle, exploring her pussy cautiously before having a slight idea of what to do. Fingertips rubbed over the tiny bundle of nerves, the same way his skin did when she rubbed against him. His other fingers entered her needy hole, stroking her inner walls in a circle of entry and exit. The puppet seemed to have grasped the concept of finger fucking far too quickly.

She moaned louder and louder, almost as if she were singing to him. His name echoed through the room. Again and again. His movements grew faster and stronger. The springs inside his body almost exploded at the sight of his lover. She was in total bliss. His lips pleased his lover with wet tongue kisses which followed the same rhythm as his fingers. The puppet desired all of this, and he wants it again and again.

After a while, [Name]'s nails began to crawl into his back, her body trembling and her moans becoming stuttering. With a final whisper of his name, she climaxed. Covering his metallic fingers with her juice. Her eyes closed for a moment before opening again to see her lover curiously holding his juice-covered fingers in front of his eyes. A small smile on his face. Making him look like he appreciated what he had done. To make him focus on her, [Name] pulled his hand slightly away from his gaze. Without hesitation, she placed his fingers in her mouth and licked off her own juices, knowing by the look on his face that his springs were responding again.

"My love… you are so good to me. But I am sure. We could do even more, P."

[weekend-whip]

Ninjago Fic Rec Week (2024): Day 4

Prompts: AU/Movieverse/OCs! (Catching Up! I uh skipped Day 3 oop but I've got plenty to offer for this day! Which is...also late...don't look at meeee)

Aus WITH OCs (or as I like to call this list, my own personal indulgence corner. All the AUs/Movieverse stories I've read are ones that get recc'ed a lot already + I myself have already recc'ed them at one point or another, soooo let's throw some pure spotlight onto some OC stories! Even if a lot of it is connected to me to some degree that's irrelevant):

As The Years Pass By: A fic currently in the process of being rewritten/reworked but still chock full of next-gen Dragons Rising goodness! And it stars the one, the only, Jenna and Ethan from @rainofthetwilight!!!! This fic made me fall in love with her characters and I've loved reading/seeing/drawing these two adorable kids ever since!!!!

Dad!Jay AU by @taddymason: An AU so good I'm still catching up on reading it bit by bit to savor it for longer *-*)9 All the stories in this series are worth the read alone for the accumulation of taddy's character Kaida (a girl who needs no introduction–she's that awesome guys, trust me) but also the eventual father-daughter bond with amnesiac!Jay that is gripping and engaging aaaaall the wall through!!

I Carve This Poem From the Harshest of Storms: Another I'm not caught up with YET (a running theme for this Fic Week, it seems hgfhgfdfgds i'm sorry I'm slow and have a short-attention span). It follow two fascinating peeps in The Administration following The Merge, and without giving too much away, @theartsyswissapple ‘s voices for the characters just POP and make them feel SO real and it's been intriguing to read so far so yeah others should give it a try too!!!

What it Takes for You to See Me: A Spinjitzu bros story with added FSM and Mystake goodness too!!! This is one I've just started reading myself, but you know I love some throwbacks to Wu and Garmadon's past! And the OC here, @marhan-writes-n-draws's Amka, fits into the setting like a glove!!

Honeycomb: Gotta give a shoutout to @miqotepotatoe's Lucy while I'm here too!! Some short, sweet snippets of the Ninja Team's best (and most yellow) cheerleader!! I love her dynamic with everyone, and especially Cole <3

The Space Between Us: A very deep and heart-wrenching introspective into @k1ngtok's characters Lynda and Jamie, Master(s) of Space. It's story about siblings and bonds at its core, but also be mindful of tag of you're looking to dig deeper! (it also takes place in legacyverse technically but that's neither here or there I promise)

Flowery Language Another super funny and endearing story by King following Jesse (hey it's my boy!!) and Antonia on the case to discover who's been leaving flowers in Jesse's locker (spoiler: it's not Cole lmao). It's actually a semi-sequel to this old thing *I* wrote however long ago, but thaaaat's not required reading (though it does help). If you want more of a fix for the Jesse-Antonia duo + more of Jamie, this is the story to read!

Learning to Love (Again): Yet another King fic based in legacyverse (a coincidence), this one kiiiind of takes place during Season 2/Book 3 and follows Jamie on his quest to truly show his friends (Nya, Antonia, Harumi, Jesse, and...Olivia?!) just how much he cares about them through the power of love languages over the course of a week and it is AWESOOOOOOOOME!! Soooo many touching and feel-good moments, mostly soft slice-of-life with teenagers being teenagers, and is a great pick-me up when your soul is feeling sad ;w;)/ I advocate for this one just for the warm soft friendshippy-feelings it gives me alone!!! AAAAAA—

Something About Morning Glories: Jesse (oop there he is again) takes it upon to himself to comfort Jay after the latter finds himself concerned about something following obtaining his True Potential. A duo I desperately want to write more about but can't yet, so this little bit of foundation for their relationship will have to suffice for now ;w;)/

(and if you're still clamoring for more of a certain magic pink fool, there's plenty more where that came from; perhaps there may be a Jesse-Antonia friendship origin story on deck soon, along with maybe some DR stuff~! ...listen there will never be a good chance to self-advertise like this again!! BE YOUR BIGGEST FAN!!! SELF-LOVE BABY!!!! *-*)9 )

In the Company of the Stars: A tale as old as time—a Royal!AU where the fair groundskeeper of a palace's garden (that's the OC) falls head over heels for the prince far out of his league (that's Cole)—except, the prince absolutely likes him back...albeit only as his secret, suave alter-ego. But is that really true—and, more importantly, is there bigger problems to deal with right now???? There's romance, mystery, good food, royal drama, angst, fluff, sabotage, magic, a whole bunch of flowers, Harumi causing chaos on purpose, Skylor throws Chad across a room, Jay goes on a rampage a some point, Kai can't flirt to save his life—the author just needs some fresh motivation to post the darn next chapter already because the ending's gonna be really really good ;V

[glitter-sprinkling-capricorn]

I really want to be delulu, I really do. In Delulu Land it's warm and cosy, pink candyfloss clouds everywhere, unicorns🦄, swirlies🍭 and rainbows🌈 and of course Nicola and Luke together in a relationship, happy, after good sex, cuddling in bed. I would like to believe that. ❤️

But I can't.

What follows are my thoughts and feelings, I'm not saying it's true, I've been wrong before...

On 24 October my plane🛩 landed on German soil at 1:45 a.m., I had mobile data again after 7.5 hours and thought: you had the feeling that something was going to happen tonight, but you're an adulting adult now and don't look at your mobile phone.

Then the people on the plane were too stupid to get off. They were all scrunched up at the back, the plane went up at the front and everything stood still. And I sat there with my broken arm, annoyed and exhausted and just wanted to go home.

Then I thought: oh yes... then take a look.

dudumm....

What will I see first? JD and Nic....

You know I didn't notice any sexual tension. Even after NY I was still like: yeah well she got scared... I wasn't worried - in hindsight, I just didn't want to see it.

So I thought: ok JD and Nic then so if they are happy go ahead....

Although to be honest I have a problem with the age gap for various reasons which I can go into if anyone is interested.

But because from the bottom of my heart I am a person who means it when I say: if she is happy, I am happy.

I think JD is a nice guy and I could imagine that they have a lot in common. For example photography, they have the same circle of friends, so why not.

And that doesn't stop me from believing in Lukola in the long run.

Second topic and the reason why I'm writing all this: Luke and Antonia:

I just ignored her for a long time. She was simply non-existent in my orbit, now you know how delulu I can be 🤣

I always thought I was getting weird vibes from her, kind of arrogant, not real, fake smile. And that wasn't someone I would want for Luke. I also thought for a long time that they weren't even together anymore and then her Spain photos came along. I grudgingly accepted it and continued to ignore her as much as possible.

Yesterday I saw a video with her and her friends and I saw a real, lively, funny, friendly girl.

And somehow, without actively wanting to, I made my peace with her. If this girl in the picture is what she usually shows of herself, I can understand what Luke might see in her.

Again, I'm not thrilled with the age gap. But again: if it makes him happy...

And again: that doesn't stop me from believing in Lukola in the long run.

I would like to believe what is so beautifully portrayed in delulu, that JD is just the distraction and that Luke and Antonia are long gone, but....

I can't.

I will always sprinkle glitter but I also have a rational side and it can't overlook certain things.

I had to get rid of that. It all boiled inside me for a while.

[amorganva]

Someday is Romeo's record and it's driving me crazy. It feels like every character has a theme record of sorts P/Carlo - Feel Sophia - Shadow Flower Claudia and Lucio - Quixotic Adelina and Patricia - Fascination Antonia and Polendina - Memory of Beach Belle - Why Venigni - Misty E'ra is something he'd chill out to Eugenie - Far East Princess The Real Alidoro - Proposal, Flower, Wolf Simon - Divine Service because of his obsession That leaves - Someday I'm 100% convinced Someday is Romeo's record.

It's one of the few records with a male singer. It's bought in the Malum district....at the Red Lobster Inn vendor. You know what else is at the Red Lobster - RIGHT ACROSS FROM THAT SPECIFIC VENDOR - the portrait of Romeo and Carlo being like: "I'm Romeo and I'll be the best Stalker in Krat!" "Then I'll become better than Romeo and be the greatest Stalker in the world!" It could've been sold by any vendor in the game....but it specifically was the Malum vendor. I feel like the devs are teasing. If you look at the lyrics: I'm waiting for you alone in the dark I've been waiting for you too long I can hear you in my heart A whisper of my own confession Time to meet you now Listen my Heart Where are you now? Can't you hear my little voice? Would it be possible for me to whisper in your ear? If you have a long day, do you remember me suffering? You will come back someday Listen my Heart I will wait for you even if my heart hurts So you can hear my little voice I will wait for you, I will wait for you.

That sounds an awful lot like Romeo to me. Sending P messengers, waiting for him, longing to meet him again and yet P can't seem to hear his voice - since they're all scrambled. And it's a song that sounds rather upbeat compared to some of the other ones even if the lyrics are kind of sad which I feel like is also such a Romeo thing with him being the more positive of the two from what we know.

I'm convinced Someday is Romeo's theme record. Thanks for reading my TED talk. It's also a sleeper. One of my favs.

[lopposting]

Some more Lies of P translation notes!

Some cool translation details that I thought were fun that didn't fit anywhere else.

[long!]

[Spoilers]

In the Korean version, Geppetto is speaking an "old-fashioned"/archaic form of Korean to reflect the time period that the game is set in

Set around the turn of the century (late 1800s), mimicking the Belle Époque of France's industrial revolution, we can guess that the game's events take place during the late 1800s. Given Geppetto's status as "old geezer", we can guess that he's closer to 100 than not, so he would have been born around the early 1800s. I might not be completely accurate - basically, he's speaking as an elderly person might speak in current time to culturally reflect his age; other times I notice he's using some words that are now out of use.

From the game's initial trailer:

깨어나거라, 아들아. 이제 이 아비를 기쁘게 해다오. Wake up, son. Make this father happy/proud.

The word he uses for "father" is "Abi" (아비), which is an archaic word for "father". In current day, korean speakers would generally use "Abeoji" (아버지).

The -gura(거라)/-DaOh(다오) conjugation is also an additional syllable that has since fallen out of use, or is considered archaic, in current korean:

아들아, 네 심장을 다오. Son, give me your heart.

하지만 알아 다오, 나는 너도 사랑했단다. But know this, I loved you too. English VA version: In my own way, I grew to love you.

This is also apparent in Geppetto's final letter at the end:

우릴 방해할 자는 이제 없을 거란다. 너를 위한 크라트를 다시 만들어주마. (-juma, Supposedly, only a "superior" speaker can use -juma) 그때까지 호텔에 조심해서 머물러 다오. 너를 누구보다도 아끼는 아버지가.

He also uses the -Oh ending again. (although he does call himself "Abeoji" 아버지 here and not "abi" like the trailer. He uses "Abi" again in another instance when responding to a guesture)

It's a very cool detail to me. I think it's a bit missed opportunity that, as far as I know, the english version doesn't seem to reflect this! Although to be fair, I'm struggling to imagine how they would. 19th century english/french maybe isn't as different or isn't different in the same ways from "modern" english that 19th century Korean would be from "modern" Korean. [Well, my only education on this stuff is from watching episodes of Dae Jang Geum]. I haven't checked to see if any other character (like Antonia) speaks this way. [Pls message me if Geppetto also speaks like this in your or any other language version!!]

Lies of P, Blood, puns, and the P-Organ

The P-Organ, in Korean, is referred to as the P기관. 기관 (gi-gwan), however, doesn't necessarily correlate directly to the word "Organ": It's quite an interesting word to choose because it can refer to any system of moving parts, both organic or mechanical; and it can mean an organ, a machine, or even a governmental body or institute.

As you may have heard by now, the game's titular pun revolves around the fact that the english character for P sounds the word for "blood" in korean (피), making the title (P의 거짓 P-ie Geojit?) read like Lies of Blood, in a nutshell. The title Lies of Blood then fits into the becoming-real flesh-and-blood themes of the game, perhaps also suggests that the deception in Krat has cost the lives of many - and, of course, references the lying of the titular character, who is inferred to be none other than (P)inocchio! So, in Korean, the P-Organ (P기관) becomes something like the Blood Engine. Which rather sounds like a euphemism for a heart!

[Perhaps: It's also a bit of narrative that Geppetto refuses to refer to it as our heart, unless he refers to it as belonging to Carlo.]

In English, this wordplay no longer exists, and so it's rather awkwardly literally translated (as the P-Organ).

How do you say, "NEOWIZ"?

I've seen a few people ask about the pronunciation of NEOWIZ (Lies' publishing company). Hangul is phonetic, so you could (technically) say the official pronunciation of NEOWIZ (네오위즈) is Nae-Oh Wiz and not Neo (like the Matrix character) -wiz.

However [in my opinion], I don't think this matters, because when something is translated to another language, it often takes the pronunciation of the language it is read in. Kind of like how in english you would read the capital of France correctly as Paris (with an S sound at the end), and not "Pari" (french pronunciation).

Also, Krat is consistently pronounced by in-game characters as "Krot" (Long O, rhymes with "Cot" or "Not") in the english version. In the game korean releases, "Krat" is written as 크라트, which would be pronounced and read as "Krat" (short A, rhymes with "Rat" or "Cat").

[I think the devs also say "Krat" too. The rounder "O" pronunciation of "A" in words seem like more of a European pronunciation in general]

The "Youngest of the Black Rabbit Brotherhood" and Gender

In Korean culture, Age is particularly significant in both Korean social hierarchy and language, and the role/position of being the youngest in a group is a particular role known as being the "maknae" (I mean, I definitely think this also exists in the western world, people definitely would understand being the "youngest" one in your family, but it's slightly different from that).

Despite being a member of the brotherhood, she refers to her brothers as "Oppa", which is when the word "brother" is used by female speakers to an older male subject (Remember Gangnam style?) [A male speaker would use "Hyung". I debated putting this one in, because to me, it seemed kind of obvious, but I did see others asking about this.]

[Given that the developers are from a korean studio, I am choosing to believe that the subtitles provided by the game's "korean" version are the text/script as originally written intended by the developers!]

[evita-shelby]

Look both ways

or i skipped ahead while reading @emotionalcadaver 's stories with Lucy, and got inspired this angst filled fic Eva realizing their polyam relationship with Lucy won't ever work and divorcing Tommy.

cw: failed polyamory relationship, mentions of murder, divorce, misery, angst, mentions of infertility and codependency issues

takes place in 1920, since that is when Tommy and Eva eloped in the og fic.

When Tommy began to court her, the witch assumed Lucy Winters would not pose much of a problem.

Not because Eva was completely fine with sharing a man and fucking a woman in the same relationship, but because the witch hadn’t really taken the time to see this would never work out in the long run.

Don’t get her wrong, she was sexually compatible with Lucy, the witch just didn’t seem to form a romantic relationship with the woman and as time went on found her near constant presence in her life…irritating.

It's her fault, Eva has never been able to share, be it toys or her tiny luxuries during the revolution, and especially her romantic partners. Be it hating every second Antonia spent with Franscisco, or the attention Diosdado gave the women he eventually fucked behind her back and now the constant presence of the Red Demon in their lives.

Eva had believed herself above the women who allow themselves to be trampled on by their significant others, prided herself in having the self-respect and strength to burn every fucking bridge and move the fuck on without ever looking back.

And yet, she is here letting her jealousy take hold because she just had to foolishly agree to marry him when her petition for asylum here fell through. She could’ve gone to America or even the loser’s table in Paris, but instead she agreed to be the official wife of Thomas Shelby and the third point of the triangle.

There was also that she was pregnant, and kids always make it all the more complicated.

“My family wouldn’t approve.” Eva hides her joy at having Tommy all to herself as they go down to London for a visit well enough to fool him and even Lucy who for once may explore a life where she is not giving Tommy’s shadow a run for its money. “You know how people can be.”

And because they will know he has a mistress that she does fuck (on occasion) and even lives with them(unfortunately), they will not look down her as much. They will offer to deal with the issue ---mistresses were not allowed for the men who marry into their family as a Riley daughter’s happiness goes above monetary gain, especially the last living witch in their family--- and she will halfheartedly refuse.

This would keep Lucy alive, for now.

But it would not last forever, so Eva has decided this ménage à trois has to end.

It has too because Eva knows it won’t be long before she takes up the offer. They’ve been married a handful of months and already Eva knows if this goes on any longer, she will be backed into a corner and accept the offer to have the third person in her bed murdered.

It will break their hearts, his most of all, but it has to be done. It would be painful, but the pain would pass.

Tommy will be allowed to be a father to their son, they will eventually heal from it and neither will be driven miserable because Eva’s choices at the time were Tommy and automatically becoming a British Subject or being extradited to Mexico and executed for treason.

But Eva no longer needs his ring on her finger to stay alive, her family had now successfully made themselves part of American High Society and would always have the money and influence to keep themselves not just alive, but thriving to spite their enemies.

It will be difficult, especially when she does actually love Tommy and would love nothing more than to be happy with him and have the life she saw when they were alone in that bathtub in Brighton. Because of course, Tommy only gave a weekend without Lucy and even three days after they eloped in June, the universe was telling her that perfect life with those four children did not include the Red Demon.

“You've been distant, you’re even sleeping in a different room these days.” Tommy is never one to bring up their issues, but he knows from the moment she let him inside her grandmother’s house, that they would be equals, that they were partners in life and business.

And because otherwise she’d avoid it, partly due to Lucy’s near constant presence, he waits until there’s nowhere to run.

Like he did when he picked her up in his car knowing he would hate every word she said because Tommy Shelby is the biggest idiot when it comes to love, but knew even then that Eva would never lie to him nor lead him wrong.

“Didn’t feel comfortable anymore.” And just like then, he will hate everything she will say now. He had hoped Eva’s friendship with Lucy would turn to love, but he knows the witch is slow to surrender her heart and that she looks both ways before she takes that leap of faith.

It took her nearly six months to make up her mind about him, it was cruel of him to make her accept a third person in a relationship Eva had assumed would be of two. They should’ve talked about this, about what would happen if she and Lucy weren’t anything but friends and that maybe Eva’s jealousy would become a problem.

“When I agreed to marry you, I had assumed I could learn to accept her existence in our marriage or that she could be tempted to live a life of her own and not as your shadow.” She looks out the window refusing to look at him because she has no idea how to keep herself together and not jump out of the fucking car.

“So you didn’t look twice then.” He concludes knowing how careful she is with these sorts of things. She’d been hurt before, hurt badly enough that Eva needed every assurance that those she gave her heart would put a gun to their mouth before hurting her.

“No and now I am fucking miserable.” The tears come out along with the truth and he has no choice but to park the car on the side of the empty road. “I don’t love her, Tom. I tried but I can’t.”

Eva’s not looking at him and she knows the pain clear on his face as if she was, hears it in the heavy sigh he lets out as the dam bursts.

Because that’s the thing, he would have to choose between them because there isn’t a world where the three would be happy together. “You should’ve told me sooner.”

“And then what? She’d get her own place and live apart while we share you? I already I feel as though I have to fight for every moment I can get alone with you, because as much as I tried to overcome it, I am a selfish woman when it comes to love.”

It was a pipe dream to think that the arrangement would ever function as they naively thought it would.

What would happen when he’d have to prioritize the wife and children at home? Would she be able to live knowing the kids would never see her as a third parent and that society would only see her as Tommy’s whore and nothing more? That Eva would only allow her in her bed when she felt like it and that when Tommy becomes a politician, it won’t be Eva, but her uncle who orders her death?

As much as Eva hates to admit it, her family is not wrong to see permanent mistresses as a weakness begging to be exploited in those seeking to move up the ladder with a Riley bride on their arm. A temporary fling barely mattered, a lapse of judgement that usually spared the other, but Lucy would eventually be killed by her uncle’s orders or even hers to protect their family and Tommy’s career.

The witch refuses to have her life in her hands like that. She meant it when she said Leopoldo Carranza’s life was the last she would take in 1918.

“We’ll get a divorce; I will stay in London, and you will be as present as you wish to be in our son’s life. It will hurt us deeply, but we will get over it. The business won’t be affected since I own my own shares in your company and yours will be inherited by Charlie.” The witch dries her tears with her sleeve and refuses the handkerchief she had embroidered with the same monogram in his signet ring for him.

“And if I refuse to sign those papers?” He holds back his anger and pain at having it all end like this, but there is no other way.

“Eventually I would have forced you to choose between us knowing that you would have to choose me for Charlie’s sake as well as your career. You have me or you have her.” this time she does look at him. To see the words sink in as he realizes the game is over and it would be better to leave the game at a draw instead of playing to the death. “I can live without you, you can live without her, but is Lucy able to live without you?”

Eva had the luxury of a family and life that taught her to know her own worth, to be independent and to know when to accept defeat like those before her had done. Lucy, bless her soul, like a sunflower chasing the sun, she grew in the direction of Tommy.

She was too dependent on him; it would be like ending an addiction. The only way you could overcome was to have the strength to fight for yourself, sadly, Lucy did not appear to be willing to break away from Tommy nor would Tommy allow it out of fear that she would leave. Just as Lizzie couldn’t move on from him and Grace went as far as to sentence Eva to death and him as well when she saw that he chose to believe Eva, a stranger, over her.

“I suppose this is the end then.” He tries not to, but the words catch on his throat.

The love was there, but it didn’t do a damn thing besides make them all miserable.

“Promise me one thing, Tom.” One last thing to make this heartbreak worthwhile.

“Anything, love.” He reaches out for her hand, and she doesn’t pull away.

Because if there is anything Eva hates more than sharing a person, it is having the universe make her a better person than she ever wanted to be. It would have been easier to just let her uncle kill her, but Eva has never cared for the easy way out.

“That she looks both ways before she leaps.”

part 2: The Wreckage

[togetherhearted]

Dating headcannons for the characters from lies of p?

How they met,how they got together, etc.

Sure sure!

As always characters are chosen by my good friend randomizer. I never know who to choose so I let destiny do it for me 😅

PINO,RED FOX AND VENIGNI DATING HEADCANONS

-You met Pino in a very old-fashioned way. Him saving you from peril.

He would take you to the hotel just to be sure. Krat's streets are not safe.

-Pino starts to feel weird around you and wants you to know about it. He asks his father, then Sophia. Everyone gives him the same answers.

He might be in love, a human emotion. He decides to go for it. Hence, he tries to confess with a heart shaped paper.

-A relationship with Pino is possible but not an easy one. The poor puppet is still adjusting to his cogs moving in a weird way around you, but he finds the sensation pleasant.

-You met the Fox while running with something you stole from the Black Rabbits. She watched you try to find a place to hide in the streets of Malum District. Before it could be too late she got you out of trouble.

-You often bumped into her, and she seemed to flirt a little with you. It became more obvious with time, and it flustered you a bit.

Eventually, she got to your heart.

-Being with the Fox is fun. She's got a playful personality and you can both provide and indulge in a little bit of vanity with your ability to steal and bribe.

Of course, Cat is always by your side as well, making sure you are ok.

-The two of you met at the Hotel. You found refuge there thanks to Antonia. Lorenzini joined a bit later. You immediately recognized him as that famous Venigni:The owner of the factory and he seemed pleased you knew about him.

-The man courted you in the old-fashioned way. He was a pleasant figure to have around, and he made your heart throb easily. If he could, he would spoil you but right now lavish gifs were out the picture. You were ok with it. The heart was more important.

-You found a true Gentleman in Venigni;one who took the act of service to heart. He was a very affectionate lover;he probably talks to much but you could stop him with a kiss, leaving him a bit flustered.

[missvelvetsstuff]

No Benefits

Bucky x Reader

Summary: Reader and Bucky are best friends until a drunken hook up. Bucky wants a friends with benefits situation because he doesn't feel ready for a relationship but reader knows that will lead to a broken heart.

Then Sharon Carter comes to work with them.

Notes: Steve, Nat and Tony are around but retired, everything else is mostly canon

Chapter 9

Warnings: Swearing, angst

Bucky spent the next week the same way he spent the previous week, since Cookie left, seeing Dr Raynor every day and writing to Cookie after his sessions. Raynor had suggested it. Of course, she told him to bare his soul and dispose of the letters but he felt the need to finally reach out to Cookie. He needed to tell her the whole truth even if she had moved on with that rich guy in Boston.

So he wrote everything and mailed them to the new address that was listed for her on the SWORD employee directory. He wanted to go see her but didn't know if she wanted to see him so just kept writing and sending the letters, almost every day.

A couple of nights after she disappeared, Natasha showed up in Bucky's room in the middle of the night, waking him up as she sat on his groin. Before he could even think about anything he had her pinned to the wall with his vibranium hand around her throat. He kept her there as he shook the sleep off, his hand tight enough to hold her there but not so tight that she couldn't breathe or speak.

"Nat? What the Hell?"

She smirked "I was going to wake you up with a surprise." Licking her lips "Do you remember how much I loved the arm? This feels different than the titanium but not in a bad way." and moaning "Show me what it does, Soldat."

Bucky flinched at the name and pulled his hand away from her.

"No, Natalia, I don't want you. After everything that's happened I don't want anything to do with you. Why can't you understand?"

Nat snapped back "I was being controlled and manipulated too you know. Where's my forgiveness?"

Bucky shook his head "I know you were but you keep acting like you were before so I have to wonder how contrite you really are." He sighed "You need to get to medical. Sharon was checked out and that serum was still affecting her but the docs gave her something to counteract it and she's better now. You're still under some level of Antonia's control, don't you want to get out from under it?"

Nat rubbed up against him "Please, I'm fine. Besides Buck, we were good together before. Don't you remember?"

Bucky sighed "I remember two people in a completely fucked situation that needed some human companionship. That's all."

Nat tried to convince him, reaching out "But, Bucky-"

"No!" he grabbed her outstretched hand and didn't let go when she twisted around and kicked him in the gut. Instead he grabbed her ankle with his vibranium hand and pulled so she hit the floor, knocking the wind out of her, then sat on her straddling her hips and held both wrists.

Nat caught her breath before she realized the position they were in. She smirked and started to wiggle under him "This is definitely something I can work with."

Bucky quickly stood and pulled her up with him just as Sam showed up.

Sam smirked "Looks like the Wolf caught a spider. We can take her to a holding cell until Dr Cho gets here in the morning."

He held up some zip ties and after a short struggle they secured her wrists.

Nat started to squirm "Come on Barnes, let me go. I can't believe you would lock me up after all we've been through."

As he pushed her ahead of him Bucky scoffed "All we've been through is even more reason to lock you up."

He flinched when Nat kicked back and her heel hit his shin "Dammit Romanoff, knock it off. It's only till morning and Dr Cho will take care of you. Sharon had additional treatment and is back to normal."

When they arrived in the holding area Bucky cut the zip tie, pushed Nat into a holding cell, made sure the cell was properly secured and turned the lights off. "Sleep tight."

Nat started yelling and banging on the wall as they walked away which made Sam chuckle. Bucky sighed in relief knowing there was more work to do but getting Nat neutralized was a great start.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On Monday, Cookie was the topic of all the most interesting water cooler conversations but she tried to ignore it and get her work done.

Until Tyler knocked on her open office door.

Cookie looked up smiling "Good morning, Tyler. Come on in, have a seat. What can I do for you?"

Tyler looked grim as he stood over her "I'm sure you are aware of the current office gossip."

Cookie shrugged "Yes, I know but it's gossip. I don't pay it much mind."

Tyler glared at her "It's disruptive. You can't just run around doing whatever you want, you know. You don't have the Avengers to protect you here so better learn to behave appropriately on and off the clock."

Cookie stood to her full height and rolled her shoulders back before she spoke, looking straight in his eyes

"I'm only going to say this once, since my arrival here seems to have thrown you off of your groove. I don't report to you, you are not my boss and you have no seniority or rank over me. I don't need anyone to protect me because I'm the best at my job and I've done nothing wrong. I went to a book launch and was seen with the grandson of the author in question. Fully clothed, barely touching the entire time we were in public."

Tyler smirked "And in private? Drysdale has quite the reputation."

Cookie bristled "None of your goddamn business. That's why it's called private. If you can't control your staff then I'd be happy to offer some ideas in that regard but don't come in here trying to shame me for my legal actions in my personal time."

She sat back down and started going through her in-box for a couple of minutes before realizing he was still there.

She scoffed "Was there anything else? I have work to do."

Tyler's face flushed red, he shook his head and stomped away to his office.

Cookie sighed, so many men thinking they have power over women just because they were men. Fewer than before but still too many for her taste. She hoped Tyler would get the message and grow up.

Cookie went to the diner on the first floor for lunch with Annie, who insisted on all the details so she could live vicariously since her life was all marriage and a teething baby right now.

Annie sighed "How fun. Sounds like he really swept you off of your feet. When are you seeing him again?"

Cookie chuckled "Beats me. That wasn't the first chapter in an NC17 fairy tale, it was just two people having some fun, so I don't know if I'll ever see him again. I suppose the odds are good since we work a few buildings apart but I have nothing planned. He doesn't really seem like the prince charming type anyhow."

Annie frowned "Aawww, that's too bad seeing how he is rich and hot but his reputation does precede him. At least he was a good one nighter, I've had plenty that couldn't even be bothered to make me cum."

Cookie laughed out loud "I didn't know that was a problem with women partners."

Annie winked "I never said they were all women but some women are just as bad as some men."

"Well that's depressing."

Cookies alarm went off "That's time, back to the salt mines."

When they arrived back on their floor, there was a crowd by Cookies office and excited murmuring.

Annie stayed back by her desk to watch as Cookie worked her way through the crowd. "Alright folks, nothing to see, everyone back to work becau-" she stopped at the doorway to her office and her eyes grew wide when she saw him sitting at her desk "Oh, hey you" she smiled and rushed into his arms, shocking everyone who was watching.

Nick Fury smiled at her "I wanted to come check up on you before I go to the compound and kick some Avenger ass."

He glared at the people still gawking "Don't you people have some work to do?" and chuckled as they all scattered back to their desks.

Cookie grinned "You should have told me you were coming, I would have waited for you and we could have had lunch."

Nick shrugged "I don't know if anyone has told you but I'm the boss so do things when and how I like."

He closed her office door and they both sat.

"So I know what happened at the compound but why don't you tell me your version."

Cookie shrugged "Nothing really happened. I just realized how difficult seeing me around, reminding them of what they were forced to do, was for Bucky, Sharon and Nat. I didn't want to make their recovery any more difficult."

Nick sighed "What about you and your recovery? Your trauma started before Antonia kidnapped you. I know you and Barnes-"

Cookie shook her head "No, no. I don't want to go there. I'm fine recovering here."

Nick looked at her pointedly "I was going to say you and Barnes were good friends, not to mention Wilson. Now you're here in a new town, new office and separated from your friends. I don't think thats great for you.

I want you back at the compound, asap."

"No, Nick I just, I can't, I-"

Nick softened his tone "Look, not today or even tomorrow but this isn't a permanent move. Stay here a bit, get the analysts in line and please, please keep your boot on Tyler's neck as he has gotten too comfortable thinking he's top dog. But 6 months. A year tops and I want you home. If they have issues I'll deal with them." He looked at his watch and sighed "Speaking of, I need to go ream me some super heroes."

He kissed her on the cheek and left.

A couple of hours later when she went to get more coffee she saw Tyler glaring at her from his office. Jackass, she thought to herself as she gave him a cheery smile and wave. She saw him get up and felt him slam the door because it made the whole floor shake. She laughed all the way back to her desk.

When Cookie arrived home there was a stack of envelopes on the floor under the mail slot. She sighed, picked them up and sat down at the table to go through them. Most went to the trash but there were 3 plain white envelopes with the same writing and return address as the one from the night before.

She sighed and put them with the first letter Bucky sent here, unsure if she was ready to deal with that yet. She ordered Thai for dinner and went to take a quick shower before her food arrived.

Clean and dressed in pj's, Cookie sat on the couch with a glass of wine, a plate of food and the letters from Bucky next to it. She drank, ate and watched the news while regularly looking at the letters, trying to decide what to do about them.

On one hand she was curious about the contents. Especially because there were four now. Why would he write four times? What did he have to say that couldn't have been said in the first letter?

On the other hand, she was feeling more at peace than she had any time in the last,  well however long since she slept with Bucky and wasn't sure she was ready to risk disturbing that peace yet.

Cookie knew that eventually she would need to deal with all of this. Bucky and her feelings for him, plus Nat and Sharon and that whole drama.

She finished her dinner then refilled her wine and grabbed a special brownie to help her sleep.

Eventually but not tonight.

@erelierraceala @capswife @ozwriterchick @cjand10 @wintrsoldrluvr @mrsbuckybarnes1917 @browneyedgrli @greatenthusiasttidalwave @hhiggs @dontworryboutitsweetheart-blog @behindmygreyeyes @pattiemac1 @calwitch @mrs-bucky-barnes-73 @ordelixx @blackhawkfanatic @casey1-2007 @scott-loki-barnes @selella @hiireadstuff @winterschildren8

Chapter 10