#'you get the weird sex issues'
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favorite part of writing fr gotta be cutting out a small part of my soul, putting it into a character and then building a person around it
#daily life with mercy#the amount of therapy I am doing as;fdlkj#ngl I'm really happy i've more or less made peace with being a little self centered#like I'm still good to the people around me#i'm not selfISH#but I do absolutely process everything through my own lens and that's... okay?#idk I was raised to think that considering myself at all was horrendously egotistical and arrogant#and the kind of art I do is inherently kinda self centered?#it's literally me going 'what i have to say is important enough to put out there'#and further - these parts of ME are important enough to put out there#but it really is fun going#'okay you get to be self sacrificing'#'you get to have astounding confience'#'you get a pragmatic view of religion and morality that seems really cold and weird to other people'#'you get results driven personality'#'you get weepy bitch syndome'#'you get the weird sex issues'#and finally#'you get to be a dragon'
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okay because people have shown up in my dms talking smack I'm going to make one blanket statement on the 1000 year loli chilchuck thing.
yes, there has been a problem with young girls being put in suggestive positions in anime with the "uhmmm she's actually a bajillion years old" excuse. yes, other characters don't treat chilchuck like an adult. yes, he is short with big eyes.
However, chilchuck consistently acts like a grown man. he- in both the manga and the anime- straight up just is an adult. He looks like an adult when he is any other race during the swaps in the manga. When the other characters get turned into half-foots they look similar to chilchuck. He is explicitly stated to have more dungeon and general life experience than laios, and he acts like it.
The 1000 year loli trope explicitly functions as an excuse to prey on people who are inexperienced and unable to advocate for themselves. Chilchuck is a parent, is a union organizer, has explicit boundaries that he enforces rigidly, and he is treated as an adult man by everyone who doesn't have a fantasy racism-focused character arc/issue.
I can see how if you haven't read the manga and seen that he has an established life that he later reveals (and haven't paid attention to him in the anime lol) you could get a mistaken impression about him. Marcielle does too in the source material! It's part of her character at the start of her arc that she has issues with longevity!
The thing that irks me a little about this interpretation is that it leans into the child-coded discourse that was prominent a while ago (she's short!!!!! but has boob???? ILLEGAL!!1!) and it does a disservice to the themes of infantilization as a policy maneuver hurting the working class.
I saw chilchuck and his labor advocacy for half-foots both as a metaphor for racism (obvious take ik) and for ageism.
The working gen z as a cohort are being infantilized and pushed out of job markets due to infantilization, similar to half-foots in the show. gen z is being maliciously portrayed as too young to vote, enter office, know themselves, know their rights, and take advantage of their resources. Simultaneously, child labor protections and protections against workplace abuse are being rolled back in the US. In Japan, young people are being worked to the bone for nothing and are becoming disenfranchised as a generation while simultaneously expected to be the labor faction that supports the postwar generations in their old age.
Chilchuck's being treated poorly I saw as a clever commentary on the ways infantilization allows for protections to be stripped away under the guise that "oh it's just a job for teenagers- they don't need more than minimum wage" or "let the kids rescue the economy! they're always complaining about that job market!" while simultaneously stripping away rights under the guise of protection- "We can't have that on the internet! think of the children!" "to protect these young people we must raise the age of medical consent for hormones/reproductive health decisions!"
Kui's work with this series spoke to me on many levels, and specifically, the infantilization issue touched me in a way that few other pieces of media have. The struggle to be taken seriously in a stem field as someone young, as someone female, and as someone who had a high-pitched voice to the point I did years of voice training to be taken seriously, chilchuck's character resonated. I (kinda) understand your instinct to think "SHORT! CHILD! RALLY THE MASSES AND KILL THE PEDOS!!1!" but in this case, it's misdirected- mostly because the author was trying to use this misdirection to prove something to you, the reader.
Kui consistently makes cutting commentary on modern issues, the show's take on food neutrality as its headliner, but also the author's takes on cultural issues and the environment (with a focus on our place in the food web as animals). I feel that reducing chilchuck's very conscious position as a tradesman and an activist discounted due to his apparent age down to "1000 year loli ewwww let's send this random tumblr user suicide bait" just displays a lack of critical analysis of the show and a level of disrespect towards Kui and the work as a whole.
TL:DR- stop sending me kys messages I'm fucking that old man
#dungeon meshi#chilchuck#suicide mention#fandom critical#dw I blocked the person but please refrain from telling people to kill themselves over chilchuck#hes a cool character but he is- still- only a character#long post#I know he's short but short people can still have sex#shocking I know#the person who sent me the message also has a lot of weird opinions of laios#like that he's too 'pure to think about sex'#broooo nooooo don't have weird opinions about autistic people being unable to consent!!#that's weird as fuck! autistic adults are still adults!!! quit infantilizing an already marginalized class!!#you're falling for the blatant misdirects that legislate away our rights!!#I get that it's just an anime it's not that deep#but at the same time the analysis skills are not skilling!!!#the reading comprehension is not comprehending!! the media literacy is not FUNCTIONING!!!#i am WORRIED ABOUT THIS#YOU WILL FALL FOR A PSYOP YOU ARE NOT IMMUNE TO PROPAGANDA#your words and deeds online are indicative of a deeper issue in your thinking that reveals a lack of understanding towards your own biases#you retain puritanical reactions and instincts despite carrying a new title#your understandings of the world are deeply and evidently shaped by flawed and cruel systems that you have failed to examine or grow out of#AUUUUGH please learn and grow as a person suicide bait helps nobody
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i need to write more divorce era rosquez porn. just two people attempting to have hate sex but because of marc’s busted arm and vale’s creaky old man knees and their general clownish demeanors they’re really mostly just kind of bad at it
#like i always feel like it’s never not tense and kind of mean. but they don’t like to inflict pain. so#callie speaks#also marc is good at being topped he doesn’t mind it. there’s not a weird power thing with it in his brain he’s just like dick in hole YAYYY#and. if either of them did a bit. the other would laugh. amen.#motogp#rosquez#tender sex with the love of your life that you are both pretending is hate sex because of your complex emotional issues is fun for me.#and they are getting freaky to be sure. like it’s nasty. thank u okay i’m done
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whenever i see posts talking abt the issues w an lgbt person being rly cruel abt things like polyamory or asexuality ppl often phrase it like it’s bad bcuz it’s ‘anti queer’ but personally i am more interested in pointing out that being vocally against ppl with unconventional and harmless sexual lives and aggressively making fun of them is more a sign that you’re an asshole. i don’t think ‘queer’ is rly useful terminology most of the time for a lot of reasons anyway
#q slur#mocking polyamory is always so wild to me cuz like what r u mad that woman has four girlfriends and you have zero#skill issue as the kids say or whatever#weird conservative gay bullies on tumblr r always like i have soooo much sex but get mad when other ppl r getting pipe …. i don’t think u#rly r having sex 🤔
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re: "good girl" i think they say it once randomly as a joke and its just one of those things that gets him wayyy more than they expected it would. so now its their secret weapon and they use it very sparingly and every single time he gets super embarrassed about it but it works ill tell you what.
#HES MY PRINCESS IDEK.#i dont think it happens naturally all that much because theyre usually in the business of calling each other names and being mean#so i think this would just be a random night where theyre on top and just think it would be really funny. to yank on his leash and call him#a good girl after bullying him into doing something. and well i just think it would get him is all i dont knowwwwwwwwwwwwww#i havr a lot of thoughts on the matter but i will stop for now#but the tldr is that with each other they tend to switch frequently and are always fighting#so i think itd take someone else being in the picture for hog to even realize how much he likes being a good boy :3#and i also dont think fish would be good at straightforward domming in the way he would want and they both know that#so its something he keeps between him and rat mostly. please dont ask me questions abt jrs sex life i have too many opinions on it#anyways. i think even tho fish knows theyd be bad at that they still feel left out so sometimes they go watch. they dont get anything out of#doing that theyre just sort of taking mental notes#all of this circles back to i think fish has always been the more sexually experienced of the two. and romantically.#i dont rlly think hog is a guy who dates i dont think hes ever been that and i dont think he made much time for hookups#(i think its cute if hes a virgin when they meet but 🤷 im not solid on it)#but i think for him hes just only ever fucked this one person and they do a LOT of stuff and it gets the job done so hes just never really#tried anything else. but. and again i have too many opinions on this but i think rat wouldnt be into their usual shteeze#i think hes a bit of a freak in his own way but the blood and weird anger issues is just not doing it for him most of the time#but i do think if given the opportunity he would LOVE to be The Boss for a little bit so i think he and hog can explore that together and it#will work out beautifully for them. this is great because i am not into strict d/s dynamics like that but i know in my heart that hoggy#would be. and i cant do that for him#again i think fish would be butthurt about this. mostly in a 'why didnt u tell me so we could try this :(' and he would go#'because you would suck at it and wouldnt like it' and they go oh. right. well im still mad#ANYWAYS. circling back. i think the good girl thing would be something fish knows that rat doesnt. and idk if theyd tell him or not#because i do think if they tell him he is using that for evil hog is going to be a good girl forever and ever. rat doesnt have the patience#to space it out the way fish does. which idk maybe thatd be good for hog he could work through some stuff...#but on the other hand i think its fun if they DONT tell him and just bust it out sometime when all 3 of them are doing the deed. or whatever#because again they mostly like how embarrassed he gets about it and i think he would be reallyyyy flustered by it#^ this is essentially part of my fantasy about spitroasting my beautiful wife until he cries just so everyone knows#idk i just think when he lets go of himself hed be a very cute and kind of needy subby bottom and i think hed be really easy to fluster#about it and i want it so bad
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:/
#that vaginismus post got me feeling all fucked up tbh#and this is nothing against op. i have no issues with op here and i don't think they did anything wrong.#they were just sharing their own experience#but it's hard when you kinda feel like a freak of nature a little bit#like I've had people straight-up not believe me when I've told them nothing can go in my vagina (and it's almost like I don't have one)#so it was nice to read a post from someone with a similar experience in that regard#but like...again. nothing against op at all.#but it got me really triggered. just thinking at all about 'treatments' for it#like thinking about the idea that I'm supposedly not having sex 'correctly' because I can't have anything inside my vagina#(even though I have a lot of sex that I and my partners really enjoy)#and thinking about doctors and just...any framing of it as something that's not normal and would need to be 'treated'#while also at the same time knowing my inability to get a pap smear might be a genuine medical issue#but it just gets me so triggered to think about it#I'm sure all my weird gender stuff isn't helping either#though my vaginismus has been present long before I had any *idea* that I might not be cis#I'm sorry I'm venting. It's just hard I guess#like it doesn't feel like anything is wrong with me but it's hard to live in a world that assumes there must be#or that assumes people like me just don't exist and everyone with a pussy wants to and can be penetrated#personal#vaginismus
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![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/2ebb85065384e28d1c3b3a0777cfe2f3/b887541ce3331e65-d6/s540x810/e9cb874e953e56c9903798b4063563bd4a88c41b.jpg)
This is one of the funniest things I have ever read
#this is one of those mutual abuse posts#see i don’t think you should never talk about the ways in which sam and dean have hurt each other#but in this post it’s so obvious that op doesn’t really have anything proper to say about sam and so resorts to either#making up the stupidest ideas (sam doesn’t respect dean’s gender struggles or needs and is constantly judging him and makes poor dean so#insecure about himself)#or like… genuine victim blaming#like i don’t even like throwing these kind of accusations around in fandom but genuinely victim blaming logic#like even if you don’t think it applies to sam it was still very much victim blaming#like one of their points was that sam is overtly emotionally dependent on dean and resents it but still puts the pressure on dean#or that he misses dean’s abusive actions and when dean forms any relationships outside of them he lashes out#generally a huge point was that sam ‘acts out all the time’ in order to get dean to take action against him and then resents it m#and blames dean entirely even though the entire situation was of his making’#i don’t even agree with any of that but the points themselves are pretty fucking weird#fandom wank#spn#supernatural#unsure if i should even tag this. oh well#also one of the points was that while dean seems more misogynistic it’s just spn standard sexism#sam is sexist on a deeper level as shown in how he dominates women in sex and projects his mommy issues onto them#i mean…. hot if that happens… but this is so stupid for an analysis#also yes sam like everyone on the show has some misogynistic tendencies but i don’t think this is an instance of them#also like inagine saying sam is more misogynistic than dean#dean winchester#sam winchester#fandom discourse#discourse#fandom critical
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days without crying over them counter: 0
#rambles#delete later#like I actually am so fucking mad im SO MAD still#i need to move on but it’s like im stuck in that week#i don’t even think I have the words. i just feel so fucking betrayed. i feel insane#i hope they think of me and feel guilty. i hope they need advice and wonder what I would say#i hope they get HIT BY A CAR!!!!!!#i feel vaguely like I was preyed on. they admitted to trying to seduce me on purpose so I’d have sex with them#as an at-the-time-asexual virgin. and I was sooo flattered lol but now I’m just like. okay. what the fuck#they made me feel sooo loved and flattered and desired right up until they didn’t#and what was with the weird mixed signals. that was the reason I couldn’t move on from my crush#‘I don’t want anything right now’#okay then stop kissing my hand and cuddling me and calling me over to ask me unnecessary questions while you’re in the shower#stop mentioning how attractive I am and stop flirting with me#I’m killing myself what did I even mean to you was I just entertainment#like what did I even fucking mean I’m going insane#all I want to know is what I fucking was. yeah sure I was your ‘best friend’ who you had no issues with cutting off for no reason#i was your ‘best friend’ who you never texted first#what the hell WAS i#you came to me for advice and support and comfort so was I a therapist#that one night when I was crying and begging you not to leave me alone for the night#you promised me we’d call the next day#you hung up and we never called the next day. even though I asked twice#i bent over backward for you constantly and you couldn’t even be bothered to check in when I was having a fucking crisis like okay lmao#I’m gonna throw up I need to stop thinking and go to bed#and yet I still miss them so fucking much. so so so so much. i miss the affection. i miss being held. i miss their voice and smile#I’d let them mistreat me if it meant I got some kind of attention from them and that really makes me hate myself lol#maybe I’m just another creepy obsessed guy now#i FEEL obsessed. i feel insane. i feel disrespected and maltreated and also very very lonely#my face feels crusty from crying maybe it is bedtime
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Finishing the Dark Knight and cannot stop laughing: Nolan's ability to finish a movie is like Sting's ability to finish a song.
#it just goes on and on and on with a slow gradual fadeout#it was the same issue in dunkirk#i get it finishing beloved things is so very hard you're like what last bit of preach can i squeeze in here? was it sufficiently hammered i#i have moments of *total* absorption and breathlessness then slammed in the face with this weird stiff dialogue; nolan does *so well* -#-in those mad sequences with next to no dialogue#kidlet has committed to watching the nolan back catalogue with me so expect random nolan commentary for a bit while we mother-son bond#even kid was going 'why are they still talking??? didn't this movie finishhhhh? i wanna watch tmnt'#i am attempting to build myself up to nolan's cm vehicle because it ain't my usual taste#you could parody a nolan film in a skit of a triumphal ending that just doesn't end. i feel like i've seen this before#load blown man you can't stay in there forever#makes movies instead of sex#such a sexless movie the dark knight. like the most physical chemistry was between joker and dent#even batman's weird idolisation of dent was so marble-statue pure of course the man could only live up to it while safely dead#the second-most physical chemistry was between fox and alfred and they don't even share a scene together#'not my diagnosis' what did nolan offer to get cm out of bed for that one
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with the full disclaimer that i might be missing some context or significant piece of information & am fully welcoming anyone to inform me, i feel like. it really just doesn't seem like a huge deal that one of the "poison" storyboard artists is into "dark" kink. like this really feels like a non-issue to me
#tw sa mention#<- this is the only tag im putting on here cause i dont wanna get jumped#but like. idk. i feel like this is really just coming from people who don't..... understand how kink works?#and to preface im ace im not into kink im DEFINITELY not into hard/dark kink#but like ...... noncon is a whole genre of fanfic. cnc isn't an unpopular fetish. people who are into either of those things aren't#saying they find real life instances of assault to be hot. its fiction. its a fictional fantasy that in plenty of contexts is being#projected onto exclusively fictional characters#it sits super badly with me that people say 'you shouldnt let people with these kinks work on this show/hire these people' because#the sex lives of your employees being a deciding factor in what you allow them to work on seems. hm. really fucking weird ??#and ALSO also this person was JUST a storyboarder. they literally cannot be 'glorifying' or 'romanticizing' or whatever because#they are only STORYBOARDING they do not control the actual writing direction of the issue or#how it is framed by the narrative or handled within the writing#and the writing of hazbin hotel very clearly and repeatedly says 'hey this is a really bad thing that impacts angel super negatively and#he is all but verbatim saying he hates it and it is destroying him from the inside out'#and again i AM open to being corrected on this if there's some crucial info i'm missing or whatever and i DO think#there ARE glaring issues with the treatment of the subject of sa/harassment within the show#im not even going to get into the viv drama on twitter about this because. jesus christ#but. idk. i feel like this detail gets dragged on SOOOO fucking much when there are MUCH more productive discussions we could be having#mine
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seeing posts dismissing the fertility/body awareness method for not getting pregnant and its like........its actually something you need to learn and plan for not something you can just pick up. The reason birth control and condoms are so effective are bc they cut down on human mistakes/error. With FAM you need to track 2-3 different things almost daily to know when you absolutely need to use a condom to prevent conception and days where it is fine to not use a condom bc youre nowhere near ovulation.
yes use condoms and birth control if you WANT TO, but if you dont want to use condoms or birth control INVEST in to the fertility awareness method, and i really mean mentally and physically invest into the system.
Fertility/body awareness is a TOOL! for you to not get pregnant or for you to increase your chances of getting pregnant, for you to track your cycles, or pcos, or transition into menopause, or to see if youve/about to miscarry
Being in the birth work field has opened my whole brain to things most ppl dont know of, and most people dont know the hows or whys behind fertility/body awareness. Its ok if you personally dont trust something you dont understand, or feel like it wouldn't work for your health. But truly FAM is a huge topic and you should be educated on what it is before discounting the science behind a certain contraceptive method.
#me#personal#vent#im not gonna get into my health or sex life but please stop dismissing the fertility awareness method#Many people dont want to be pregnant but also dont want to be on birth control or wear condoms and thats ok!#There are options for everyone!#And if its not for you congrats! but you know whats not for a lot of ppl? bc and barrier methods#some ppl dont have access some ppl cant use bc for health issues and some ppl have sensory issues with barriers#and some people just choose not to use either bc they dont want to#Stop being weird and shaming ppl for their choices esp bc youre not educating and expanding access to others
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Sometimes i still think about deleting that joke post about fenris and his insane post nut clarity. people got so weird about it
#but i do get frustrated to this day that people think i’m just making fun of a guy remembering a traumatic incident#when thats explicitly not what happens. he REMEMBERS the trauma#its ALL he knows. he’s upset because he remembered stuff BEFORE the lyrium. like glimpses of his family#its why his sisters name sounds familiar when she says it. did you guys just miss all this it’s literally just outright said#and i still think its objectively a funny way to write this. sex is potent and powerful and it makes sense#but also. you gotta admit… busting a nut and having your amnesia cured is kinda funny#but people got so weird. people i don’t even know that i’ve never talked too!!#like who are you! why do you have some mysterious issue with me.
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Not to be dramatic or anything (narrator: she’s being dramatic) but I think my doctor is trying to kill me
#so i’ve been trying to renew my prescription for citalopram all week and i haven’t been able to. it’s not showing up#at first i was like ‘oh it must be because i picked it up late last time’#(i had a chest infection and didn’t want to give whatever had caused it to whoever was in the pharmacy. and i kept forgetting to ask anyone#to pick it up for me)#but i checked and it was last issued 1st november. i should be able to get it#so i did some digging… mind you i literally mean i had to dig to get this information. it wasn’t readily apparent in my nhs app at ALL#and it says i need a prescription review before i can get this medicine again#like helloooooo why did no one tell me that earlier??? i’m almost out! i have two pills left#soooo i checked and of course i can’t get a doctor’s appointment until 6th january#i managed to use 111 to request an emergency dose of my prescription but i have no idea if the pharmacy will fill it without approval#from my doctor#honestly i will scream-cry in the pharmacy if they don’t give me my pills. i have no shame#i am not experiencing those side effects again. i threw up last time!!!!#i don’t care if i have to make a scene in several different establishments i am getting my pills tomorrow#maybe i’ll threaten suicide. knowing my luck i’d get 5150’d though#honestly i think they will probably just give it to me but if they don’t i’m going to show up this time next week#and throw up on their floor from the vertigo those withdrawals give me#can i just say as well like. i started on these pills in january. why’s the review 10 months in. that’s such a weird time#why’s it not a year#oh god wait is it a year. i don’t know. no yeah my last fill was november; it has to be a year#look i’m not going to pretend citalopram is some sort of miracle drug. it’s made my dreams vivid and weird; it’s killed my sex drive#and i’m sure it’s made me a little dumb. i just don’t want to throw up again#if i throw up again it’s going to be on the floor of an nhs establishment because WHY DO THIS TO ME#maybe i should’ve been keeping better track of this but i genuinely think it’s WILD to withdraw a prescription that’s THIS important#when you have like NO doctor’s appointments available. what the fuck is it about!!!!#everyone loooves living in a small town til you can’t see a doctor for fucking four weeks#personal
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