#'well i have trauma and im not into gross stuff.' 'well i have trauma and i am.' omg thats crazy its almost like youre not a monolith

[yelloworangesoda]

yall have got to stop arguing with "as a member of x group, this" "actually as a member of x group, that!" its so annoying. neither of you are the authority obviously being in x group can give people different experiences. obviously you guys are different... people gfklg

[cripplecharacters]

hey this might be a bit weird of a question but is it inherently ableist to have a kink for like, fictional depictions of gore? i ask this because a lot of that kind of stuff involves injuries that would be disabling (amputations, eye trauma, etc), but is that fine if the focus is on the injury itself and not the disablement that results? is there nuance to it? should gore art drawn for some form of gratification avoid depictions of limb loss entirely? thanks and im really sorry if this question is too gross

Hello beautiful asker!

Having any sort of kink is not ableist. Period. Fiction is exactly that, where things can exist and no one is being objectified, unwillingly injured, or otherwise so because it's all fake. Now there is a Nuance though, making art for Kink purposes is different than writing a story and it fetishizing your disabled characters. The latter is what we try to prevent because of the harm it does.

Now say you interact with someone who is disabled in real life, and they have a disability or a intersection of any kind that you usually get any sort of gratification from when in fictional media. If you're getting gratification from this person simply existing, objectifying them, non-consensually, and can only see them as a sexual object, then you are then fetishizing disabled people. Kink is about consent, trust, community, etc. Disabled people have kinks too! Some disabled people have kinks that intersect with their disabilities! The main part is the consent and not objectifying people for simply trying to living.

We have a post talking about sexuality and disability, as well has a whole tag on the #fetishization of disability. We also have a post about Body Horror and its intersectionality with disability. The reason I'm mentioning this is because body horror, kink, Whump, all sort of overlap at some point for some people and when we put disability into the mix there is a similar nuance to it all.

One more thing to mention (which is more Tumblr specific) but I know there are a few issues of the actual Tags (not the general Search function) between the communities, again because of the overlap. I would be weary and talk with your other fellow kinksters about tags for specific kinks that are disability related. Again I know there's an overlap but just trying is better than not trying at all.

In summary: There is ableism, but there is a line and as long as that line of kink to fetishization doesn't pass, you're fine.

~ Mod Virus 🌸

[jesuistrestriste]

The other posts before just kink shaming people. Calling people weirdos and creeps and that the authorities should be called and some how writing men squirting, "because its not biologically possible" is in the same category as well like damn have abit of whimsy

helloo !

so i guess a user who follows me, or used to follow me, is posting on their acc snippets of my work and talking about how im weird and gross (as well as some other unspecified challengers writers) bc i wrote about ‘puppy’ stuff and ‘men squirting’. they blurred out my user but my writing was directly referenced.

they basically likened the puppy play stuff to sexualizing real animals, and said that it was also creepy to write about men squirting bc it’s not ‘biologically possible’

i don’t wanna make this into a big deal, bc it’s genuinely not, but i’m responding to it to hopefully give this individual some clarification and also to defend the users who actually enjoy this type of kink content (bc i do too)

so. first of all — puppy play. i, for one, in the particular drabble they screenshotted, do not have the reader treating art like an actual dog. the reader only calls art ‘puppy’ and he is submissive. those are literally the only two things involved that are similar to puppy play. however, many people enjoy/write about other more direct aspects of puppy play, like collaring and leashing and etc, and that does NOT mean they like sexualizing real animals. it is NOT bestiality. i’m going to assume that the user in question who likened it to bestiality is not informed on what puppy play actually is/represents, and just took the concept of calling someone ‘puppy’ = sexualizing dogs and ran with it. that’s definitely not what it is, and i certainly was not writing it that way. for many, puppy play is simply about the power dynamics of it all. do i enjoy puppy play in its entirety? no, not really (i like certain bits and pieces), but i respect those who do. it also goes without saying that i do not advocate for or support the sexualization of real animals in any way shape or form ..? that’s disgusting.

— more info below the cut —

second of all — squirting. men squirting is possible, just the same as how women squirting is possible. if you don’t believe me, look it up on pornhub lol; it’s definitely possible. to my knowledge, the anatomical/bodily processes that allow someone to squirt are the exact same ones involved in. well. peeing. like. if you can pee, you have the anatomy necessary to be able to squirt. i’m mid-writing this and i can’t believe im talking in depth about what squirting is and how it works. help. but yea, is squirting = pee ? no. no, it’s not (controversial lol). but even if it was, some people are into that. no need to yuck someone else’s yum. you’re entitled to your opinion though. if you don’t enjoy it/understand it and think it’s ‘creepy’, that’s cool too ! idc—it’s your life! do what you want !

third of all — i read their post and they also talked about how it’s weird to write about puppy!stuff because some users (i don’t know if they were talking about me in this instance or just some writers on challengers tumblr in general) are writing about ‘real men’ and that these men should be ‘calling the authorities’. i know for me, im not writing about mike faist in a puppy play context. im writing about art donaldson. a fictional man. and i promise you, art donaldson will not be reading my stuff. and for that matter, neither will mike faist. that man wants nothing to do with social media, let alone tumblr (rip to his tumblr era though).

bottom line, kink shaming is not cool. it’s not fun, it’s not kind, it’s not cute, it’s not very demure.

some people use kinks as an escape from harsh aspects of their reality like past trauma, etc. or to process those traumas. that being said, you are 1000% allowed to not like something. that is your business ! but posting about someone’s work and making grotesque claims about their character and what they stand for based on smut writing is very odd. i do not appreciate it !

i am in no way trying to attack/hate on the person who made the posts, but i think it’s important to try to address stuff like this and educate those who may be confused or misinterpreting. to the user who made the posts: i hope you have a good day, and i hope this clears things up ! if you see this and want to talk more about it, my dms are open. all love.

UPDATE: i was just informed that the user in question used to write for (tw) school shooters and apparently cleared all evidence of it from their account except for some lingering tags.

i take it all back ! ! as someone who has experienced the effects of a school shooting + has been in a uni community targeted and affected by an act of gun violence, that is absolutely disgusting, and you can rot ! seek therapy ! :)

[oogaboogaspookyman]

Soooo a reply in the most recent Oil Is Thicker Than Blood release (by @dronebiscuitbat ) gave me an idea! And threw my impulse control out of my window!

BE WARNED: this contains a more than implied spicy Nuzi scene, which is canon in the universe of Oil Is Thicker Than Blood. I also tried my best to finish this so be also warned for potentially sucky writing lmao

Edit: I FOUND THE GUY THAT INSPIRED THIS SHIT IT'S @/makiyu23 THANK YOU DUDE THIS WAS SO MUCH FUN I WOULDN'T HAVE MADE THIS WITHOUT YOU

[EAVESDROPPING]

That red eyed freak... She's gonna pay.

Crawling in the vents. She always loved crawling around, whether it's the roof, the walls, or the ventilation systems, it always felt so good and satisfying.

This time didn't feel good the usual way now. It felt good like a revenge. Fitting.

While she's doing that, she found a few trinkets along the way! Neat! Things to look at instead of her glasses! She always disliked looking at her own glasses out of boredom, it brings memories she doesn't have consent for... Y'know what else she didn't consent to?

...

Let's not joke about that time, V...

...

Anyway! Back to searching through the vents! And sending those updates on the red thing stuff too!

"robo-god i fucking love crawling it's satisfying like-..." She stops for a moment... Then sighs... "Let's not ramble about these things alone V, you'll seem crazier than you already are..."

After long minutes of crawling around in the vents and sending updates on the search, she started to hear something...

Talking?

There's people talking...

There's people talking.

"Look, i'm just sayin', we can't have these Murder Drones in 'ere at all, ya know their body count? As someone who like- counts the deaths and missing drone cases, i say they're up to like- the THOUSANDS!"

"You know Khan's orders and announcement, they're living with us now, end of. We cannot keep having this conversation, Sean..."

"Susan please just- just understand what i'm trying to say here!"

"We can't keep up a relationship if all you're gonna ramble about is the Murder Drones wanting to make amends."

A Worker with an irish accent... Rambling to another, 50% masculine 50% feminine and 100% tired sounding, about the fact that she and N are living in the bunker with them and how he's against it. Of course. If she could drop down right then and there... She would. But she can't, she made a promise... Stupid promise but hey, she cares about that idiot.

...

Stupid feelings, stupid concept of caring, stupid core, now she feels all mushy and gross...

Ughh, get back to work you trauma bag!

Beep. Update sent. And as she crawls around the vents, a message for Lizzy. Heehee Lizzy she cute- SHUT UP BRAIN.

SD-V: yo liz i caught two people talking while i crawled in the vents, wanna hear?

A few seconds later...

Lizthequeen: OMG yes!!! drop the gossip gurl!!!

SD-V: so theres these two workers talkin shit about me and n for obvious reasons and apparantly these two workers are also a dumb lovey dovey couple

Lizthequeen: oh shiz you talking about sean and susan??? oh theyre having constant problems with their relationship i heard!!

SD-V: thats what im saying. theyre in constant problems with their relationship yeah

Lizthequeen: they are fr?? daaayyuummm gurl...... are they breaking up now???

V stopped to look back and crawl a little backwards to hear...

"... Susan- Susan please don't do this to me-"

"No no no no you know what? You know what? We're done here, all you ramble about is your racism, fuck you and fuck off"

"Susan please!"

Then a slam... Then a sigh...

"... WELL GOOD RIDDANCE I FUCKING GUESS!"

She began crawling forward again... God damn.

SD-V: yup

Lizthequeen: RN????? HOLY SHIT?????

SD-V: yup

Lizthequeen: they finally broke up........ thank you for sharing the info bestie i owe u so much

SD-V: yeah you owe me a good hanging out

What the FUCK. WHY DID YOU SEND THAT WHY DID YOU SAY THAT

V immediately stopped messaging in flustered frustration, yellow filling her visor and embarrassment filling her... Everything. Fuck's sake.

...

...

...

Lizthequeen: what do u mean by that ;3c

SD-V: nothing shut up buzz off im busy anyway BYE

Then to the right goes the program...

...

...

...

That was stupid.

...

...

Okay that's processed.

As she crawled by, she began to hear more chatter... Right, people exist.

"Guy imma need to talk to ya"

"Oh no. My name in b flat. I'm in trouble"

"More like i wanna discuss something with you regarding the whole Khan's daughter and N thing..."

"... Am i in trouble?"

"Stop saying you're in trouble, i just wanna talk"

PFFFFT

"“Stop saying you're in trouble” yeah shut up before you get in trouble hehehehehe-"

"What the HELL was that?!"

V squeaked in surprise, then yelled back, attempting to threaten the two into submission.

"YOU BETTER NOT TRY ME OR I WILL DROP DOWN AND RIP YOU TO SHREDS YOU TOASTERS!!"

...

...

"Okay, no need to yell lass, we would've listened anyway"

"Yeah what Han said"

V sighed in relief and kept crawling and sending updates. Situation avoided.

...

...

Crawling by crawling by, crawling by for the sake of your life~

This is getting really boring, i fucking hate this now i wanna go home~

She sang as she crawled in the vents, sending updates every few as she found new things and new gossip, making herself laugh a little as she crawled... She needed those laughs and those moments. She needed a break from the tension and the fear. The dread. That red eyed freak...

...

That red eyed freak.

...

"You want me to lead?" She heard, faintly, as she crawled about...

What in the god damn?? Uzi??

"Lay down then"

What????????

She crawled forward and stopped to hear the possible new gossip...

...

What the fuck are they doing down there.

"Relax, okay?"

"O-okay..."

Uzi?? N?? What are they...

...

Oh they can't be.

"I-i'm not t-that insteresting"

"You're gorgeous, actually"

"Shouldn't i be saying that to y-you?"

Nuh uh they're not i don't believe... N would be a bottom though.

A little more of hearing from inside the vents, it becomes clearer as every second passes. She can't move.

She jerks a leg forward, yet it's stiff. She can't move.

She tries the same with one arm, it's stiff too. She can't move.

She tries to at least launch herself forward, but her whole body is stiff. She can't move.

She sighs... I can't move... I can't stop hearing...

"Ngh... Uzi..."

JUST MOVE LET THEM BE MOVE MOVE MOVE MOVE MOVE MOVE MOVE MOVE MOVE MOVE MOVE MOVE MOVE MOVE MOV

She jerks an arm, trying to continue crawling.

Again.

And again.

And again.

And again.

And again.

And again.

FINALLY.

She manages to continue crawling by...

After ceaseless crawling, ending up finding nothing, and having heard quite the event... You think she'll have a word or two for them about it?

She's laid down across the ground, alone in her nest in the spire, seemingly dissociating after the events that transpired...

"Well... Damn." Her last words said in surprise.

...

...

...

...

...

We never got to go far in our relationship.

She swapped her hand up with the submachine gun and aimlessly let loose a barrage of bullets, drowning her thoughts in noise. Drowning her sorrows in noise.

Heavy breathing, panting.

...

"Let's not think of that, V..."

[ch3rryb0mb3rr]

Tldr; please put warnings on smut and have it below the cut and stop sexualizing minors in media. Especially if they just came out of middle school thats weird. Write what you want but tag and put warnings when needed.

--

I get so pissed when im going to read something about my favorite character, and it's smut WITH ZERO WARNING.

No 18+, no NSFW, no MDNI and it isnt even in the fucking tags. I dont wanna read that shit. Put the damned warnings there for the love of all that is green on this earth it takes two seconds. maybe a bit more, but if you could pump out 3.4k words of pure porn, I think you can handle a couple of tags and warnings

I am a minor, and i use those warnings, so I dont read straight-up porn!! I also dont need to read about incest accidentally because there was NO warning, and it was NOT in the tags!!

(And for those of you who do put warnings, i thank you and wish the best in life!)

(I am also well aware that a lot of people dont listen to dnis like that, but it's helpful for the people trying to avoid reading stuff like that)

Also, while im on the subject, let's not sexualize minors in media. Yeah their hot, i can see that. But i dont want to see the start of an NSFW alphabet for a 15/16 year old. Aged up my ass. Just put the beginning below the cut?? And not after the first four letters??

I do NOT need to know a fav characters preferred body part is the tits thank you very much. I definitely do not need to accidentally read that they wanna suck on it like a damned bottle.

--

'This character as your friend is soo perverted he wants to steal ur panties hehehe' NO HE DOESNT. HE'S A TEENAGER AND LIKES CATS. TF?? theres adults in the majority of the show that are reasonably attractive. Write that shit about them.

'Oh, they have this list of kinks,' and its shit only someone who has read hardcore smut would have. They are 16 and most probably haven't had sex because the creator cant give them a fucking break from trauma.

'He would be soooo toxic and blahblahblah [insert romanticised assault and abuse and trauma]' NO. that boy is my age and is a nerd. Motherfucker wants to study at princeton and has absolutely no flirting ability. You're only saying that because he's black, most of that shit reeks of racism.

--

These characters are kids, CHILDREN, and you as an adult (if you are one) should not be writing smut about them, aged up or not. You should not be thirsting over a sophmore when theres PLENTY of good looking adults that you can be.

Theres a difference in growing up liking a character and having a crush on them and growing out of it when you're an adult. And being an adult thirsting over a teenage boy. It's not cute. it's not 'oh, it's fine because he/she's not real'.

Its really fucking gross actually.

--

At the end of the day just tag your stuff correctly. That way its easier for everyone else to find EXACTLY what they wanna read. Because at this point im just gonna start reporting fics with no warnings at the beginning.

Someome younger than me with no parents looking through their devices could stumble on that, and not know what it means, read it, and be scarred for life.

I was reading that stuff way way way too earlier and its fucked up my mental state a bit so if we collectively start putting in the effort to help prevent this from happening to another 11 year old or younger than we should do so.

--

Start gatekeeping fandoms like creepypasta from young kids, start tagging shit correctly

Another child does not need to end up somewhat hypersexul with very violent intrusive thoughts by the time they hit high school because their parents wouldn't look out for them, and the fandom did NOTHING to try to prevent it.

Its not your job to parent the kid, and to look over their should. Thats not what im saying.

It IS your job to, again, tag shit correctly, put warnings for gore, bluring violent images, saying outright that a certain game/book/story/etc your recommending is NOT for kids due to its violent nature/sexual content/etc. Reporting accounts of children under the age limit for social media (i.e., a 10 year old with discord or instagram) (it is breaking the T.O.S)

Act like that one lgbtq+ chat room website I was on for a couple weeks where all the adults kinda looked out for me a bit. And supported me figuring out who I was and collectively riped a guy to shreds after I blasted him at a failed attempt to groom me. (And told me I had done exactly the right thing in this situation. Also, hi, if you know who I am from there!!!) (Story time if ya'll want I look back and think its the funniest thing ever how I dealt with him 💀)

[the-s1lly-corner]

Hello how are you :3? I was wondering if you could write E.J., Hoodie, and Masky with a s/o that has a lot of scars? (Toby too but platonic for him) I’m not sure how many people we can request so if it’s too many just Hoodie? I’m sorry if this makes you uncomfortable and thank you!

Various!Creepypastas w/ a scarred!reader

waaaah im so sorry for not seeing this sooner! i didnt recieve a notification for this ask!! really theres no limit to how many characters you can send in! i think my personal max varies from prompt to prompt!! mix of how they approach the concept of a scarred lover (friend in tobys case) with some hints of fluff! cause of scars will be vague as admittedly i didnt know if you meant general scars or SH! side note i hope this posts right! im writing this on my computer, im used to mobile!! + apologies for any weird wording or typos, im listening to music and im getting hyped!! not proof read we die like my spiderverse brainrot

Includes: Eyeless Jack, Hoodie, Masky and Platonic!Toby!

CWs: touch and go talk of potential past trauma, body image issues, vague mentions of SH(?) in EJs part + Toby's parts

admittedly admin doesnt know if its technically SH due to the nature and motiv but personally id still count it as such and tag it as such

Eyeless Jack;

he gets it, he really does. the basic run down of my hc/take on ej is that he wasnt always some flesh eating monster; just some dude who got caught up in some bad stuff

so naturally, he doesnt... really vibe well with the concept of eating human flesh, which can lead to a few... instances. from intentionally to accidentally harming himself while hes lost in his instincts

so hes no stranger to being a little roughed up around the edges

but hes a stranger to comforting; he'll likely approach it from a logical side before trying anything else. "you've been hurt," before going on a small tangent about the formation of scars. hes not the most... emotionally... good... available... person

so youre going to need to lay out the general basis for what you need for basic comfort, on days where your scars become an issue; be is needing comfort or a distraction. it may take him a while, but hell eventually start to pick up on cues and hints as your relationship develops

otherwise hes very neutral about them, again approaching them with a blunt view; seeing it as neither good nor bad. he doesnt draw attention to them, but he doesnt act like theyre gross

really just. vibing with it, doesnt make a huge deal of it since he feels he doesnt have any place to judge, nor does he feel its his business to pry for information

solid 6/10 imo, hell comfort you if you express that you need it but hell likely not go out of his way to do it

Hoodie;

Soft touches, he almost does it before he has your permission to touch you

naturally he has his own fair share of scars from various.. activities

really im still all jumbled up with how i wanna write him and masky; not sure if i want to make them like how they are in their MH source or lean into the proxy thing that was prominent in the early days of the fandom... lowkey leaning into the proxy thing for this post because im more... versed..? in that, but anyhow

hes more upfront and compassionate than eyeless jack, in fact hes probably the most caring out of the four in todays post... maybe thats because i read one (1) fic years back that changed my entire approach to his character but! yeah

subconsciously trails his hands on them when the two of you are holding one another; something gentle and intimate, not too obnoxious to make you self conscious, but not careful enough to go unnoticed

i view hoodie, and by extension brian if i end up considering him and tim fully seperate from their 'proxy' parts, as a very tactile person

true to the popular fanon interpretation, hoodie doesnt speak much. but that only makes him a better listener, so on days where things get hard, hell let you talk his ears off with anything thats bothering you. very rarely, hell speak up and offer some words of advice, most times hell inch closer to grasp you. though it does get awkward since most the time hes just. blankly staring at you silently without emoting or saying a word

overall? personally hes a 7/10 for me, i would rank him higher if he were more verbal, but thats just because admin has an easier time venting if its a two way convo; but overall hell make sure that your scars dont effect your worth

Masky;

very similarly to hoodie, masky also has his own set of scars for the same reasons

he probably starts pointing out his own scars to you and mumbles about where they came from if he knows their origins

this doesnt mean "oh hes invalidating your experiences and hes trying to make it about himself," but more so "hes showing that he really does get it and he doesnt mean to talk over you"

much like EJ he approaches scars with a very blunt and upfront mindset, but to a lesser extent. he admits that whatever led up to the tissue forming, it hurt. emotionally and physically, and hes not going to deny that simple fact. hell listen to you, have a conversation with you about it, and try to help you through whatever you may be currently going through regardless of if youre injury is relevant.

or at least, thats what hes trying to do.

hes still has his own personal issues regarding going about his own problems in a healthy manner but hey thats something for another post; maybe, if i remember

honestly this post doesnt have enough fluff imo, and i can kinda see masky doing this, but imagine he boops his mask against your scars in a mockery of a kiss (doesnt take off his mask often, in fact youll probably never ever see him without it on), i can see jack doing this too tbh

thoughts? 8/10, gets the bonus points for being less awkward to rant to imo, plus i think asides ej, i think i have a bias for masky for the simple fact i had the fattest crush on him when i was in middle school

Toby;

okay! this one is going to be interesting for one main reason! i actually havent touched tobys character in YEARS! so hes probably going to have the shorter list... obligatory i havent built any solid hcs for him past what was going on in the fandom in the 2010s, before toby briefly became a mild discomfort... but we're back in business baby!! (^^ dont feel bad for requesting for toby btw! hes no longer a discomfort, and if i didnt want to write for him i wouldnt be including him right here!!)

obviously we cant talk about his part without talking about his cheek. and other, similar hcs. while i dont think most of the self inflicted marks on his body were from a place of.. for lack of better words, darkness; it doesnt change the fact he still has them. i think a lot of them are from the fact he cant feel anything; accidental burns, gnawing through his cheek, digging his fingers deep into himself. really i could go into detail, but due to the aforementioned fact that my take on him isnt as developed as other characters + i really dont think its appropriate for this post (or really, anywhere on this account,), ill stop there

while he cant relate to the physical pain of what caused your scars, he can sympathize through your feelings. do you feel sorrow, or anger to whoever hurt you? hell be getting worked up right with you, because to him youre one of his closest friends

i feel like he doesnt talk much about his past, regarding his family. but hed tell you, and you can sure as hell bet that hell do his absolute damndest to grant you the same feeling of security.

hell probably touch and prod without truly meaning any harm, but thats because he can have problems with boundaries, but hell listen if you sit him down and tell him it makes you uncomfortable if it does

more so emotional than outwardly... supportive? idk the words, but hes very empathetic with you and tries to relate to you through emotion rather than feeling what you felt. honestly? kinda based for that, but maybe thats because i dont see feelings about this topic being touched on, usually its straight up about how the scar makes the person look or the physical trauma they had gone through, but idk, maybe thats just a me thing

he can be an asshole at times but hell usually backtrack and cool off somewhere else if you call him out on it imo

not sure if its because as im LITERALLY investigating his characteristics and interpretations as we speak, but i think im starting to relate to him so ER-OH!

anyways, i wish i could make his segment more... in tune with the characters above but its probably going to take me a while until im comfortable with how i portray this dude, which sucks because as a kid he was probably one of my favorites

i dont think im going to give toby a rating like the others; since i dont think i can accurate rate him due to the lack of proper concrete ideas outside of him being empathetic to your emotional pain since he cant relate on how much it hurt

im gonna end this here since im starting to sound like a broken record on tobys part so!

i hope you enjoyed this! characterization may be a little off but i blame that mostly on the fact that i kinda fell out of the loop in regards for writing for these guys (that damn spider movie! the brainrot threw me off my creepypasta grind!/j) but its good to be back writing for this fandom! it was a fun little brain exercise trying to figure out each character goes about this kind of thing without making them all the same!! with that being said, im going to go listen to an audio reading of tobys story so i can regrounded in his character and hopefully do him some justice in the future!

[whumpshaped]

Stray 1

hi im here to bring u a fun lil interactive thing bc i felt inspired. will this have a second chapter before november? uhhhhh idk man...... anyway have fun

masterlist

tw institutional/systemic pet whump, second person pov (and you're the pet!), forced to eat gross stuff, memory loss, past trauma, dehumanisation

You stumble out of the facility with the vague understanding that you want to leave. You can't quite remember why, you can't quite remember what you had before the facility, and you can't quite remember what's so bad about the place... but something in you is screaming at you to run.

So you run.

Even as the evening air clears your head, the memories don't come back to you. You have no concept of life before being a pet, outside of a few flashes of faces you think you might've known at one point and places you might've frequented. It's not a lot, not even enough to convince you they aren't dreams that lodged in your head for a little too long.

Maybe this is a mistake, honestly. You're basing your entire escape on these flashes, and a weird gut feeling. Now you're on the run from the Pet Protection Agency, and you have zero idea how to survive as a stray. It'd be so much easier to turn back around and give yourself up... but god, this nagging feeling in the back of your mind just won't leave you alone. You have to keep running.

Days pass, and you learn what kinds of food in the dumpster are still fit for consumption. Weeks pass, and you learn how to seem semi-normal. How to blend in and pretend you're a person. Months pass, and you're starting to run out of stamina. Of drive. Of motivation. It's getting colder, too. You're thinking of turning yourself in again.

You don't even make an effort anymore. You stay in the same alleyway, go through the same dumpster... Sometimes you venture a bit further out, but at this point, you're entirely over it. If the PPA's people find you, so be it. Being a stray is miserable.

But one day, a small offering appears on the ground. It's a little plastic bowl with some kind of paste in it. It smells... suspicious. It's definitely not for you– no, that's not true. It's definitely for you, but it's clear that the person who left it doesn't... know who you are. What you are.

You crawl a bit closer, your stomach rumbling loudly. Maybe just a scoop. A bite. Maybe it's not that bad. Maybe eating cat food is fine, under certain circumstances. Maybe you can trick yourself into liking it, even.

Well... as soon as you try it, you realise that won't be happening. But food is food, and you're desperate. You can only hope it won't poison you.

The empty bowls disappear every morning, and a full one appears every evening. The routine soothes you somewhat. Of course it does, you're just a pet, and pets need routine — another reason why it was utterly stupid to run and throw yourself into a life of uncertainty. But in an odd turn of events, you accidentally found someone who seems to care, and that's comforting.

One evening, while you're furiously rubbing your hands together to create some semblance of warmth, you hear the stranger enter the alley. You hear the telltale scratch of the bowl against the ground as they set it down, and your mouth waters despite knowing how gross the food is. But you don't hear them leaving.

"Here, love. I've brought you some food," they — he? — say softly, and you realise your mysterious patron saint is planning on staying this time. He wants to see where his food is going, clearly. An infinite number of options and fears run through your head all at once.

What if he's with the PPA? What if this has all been a setup? What if he's going to be angry about you not being a sweet little animal? What if he's a horrible person who's just playing you? What if– what if–

~

i'm gonna start a separate taglist for this so lmk if u wanna be on it :) also no promises whatsoever abt the updates i just felt rly in the mood for smth like this tonight

@whumpsday @the-scrapegoat

[corvidares]

thoughts and feelings about fnaf: into the pit

(spoilers! talk of endings!)

so, while i enjoyed playing this game a lot, i am left feeling dissatisfied in a lot of ways, mostly in relation to what the hell just happened

on the side of things i LIKED:

the pixel style!!! good god this feels so perfect for fnaf. obviously we've always had the minigames in the retro style, and while fnaf has had a fine enough "look" for years, i really hope to see more stylization like this. the pixel art and animations are beautiful and full of character

there's a lot of visual detail, both in the sense of easter eggs (of course) and background clutter. fnaf games are always good at having gross settings, and this definitely does that. even the cloud of dust that pops up every time you jump in the ball pit is yucky, lmao

speaking of details, the sound design is also VERY good. it conveys a lot of what is not seen; the closer you get to a kid thats been captured by spring trap (pit trap? guys idk what to call him) the more you hear their cries and whimpers. of course, as always, sound is a part of the gameplay too, helping you know if spring trap is close and that you need to hide

the writing in terms of dialogue and such is good! i like that oswald is.. well, he's kinda dumb. rightfully so, for a kid! he does things that arent always logical, it takes him a hot minute to figure out that hes in the past, etc

its also genuinely distressing and sad to see him suffering, to see him try to tell his mom that something is deeply wrong, only to be brushed aside because (presumably) the possession magic is invisible to adults. to see his trauma get worse and worse as the days pass; nightmares, visions, straight up sleeping through his school day because he's been up all night! even his idle sprites are always sad and scared

the gameplay itself! the learning curve felt appropriate, i liked the strategy of using the noise makers, hiding, and the vents. fwiw i did play the "creepy" setting which is essentially easy mode. but i still died plenty, its not a complete cakewalk or anything.

the classic fnaf snark sense of humor is definitely here in this game, and i love it. the achievements? hilarious. the tips on the loading screens, jeff's entire character?? good stuff.

misc things i noticed:

for whatever reason, after night 1 i had a constant "bloody/strain" filter at the edges of my gameplay. not sure if this is like, random? game footage ive seen doesnt have it, and one even had a different filter. not sure what to make of it, it seems odd to just be a meaningless, randomized detail?

i got one glitch: after checking the cameras while the other kid is in security with me, oswald's sprite didnt reappear and i couldnt do anything. so i had to restart the game lol. not major, and i have no idea how common it is. otherwise everything was quite functional iirc

regarding the more critical side of things.. im mostly frustrated. now, i know fnaf, i know it never serves you answers on a platter. i know theres always an abundance of easter eggs and secrets (which i have tried to research, tho the game is still new). but upon finishing the game and seeing all the endings, i realized i didnt get answers about a lot of things i thought i would. for example;

where the hell is foxy??? the other core three are there and get added as enemies when you progress. his stage is present and some kids at the past party mention they miss seeing him. but he's not on ANY of the imagery throughout the pizzeria. in fact, we don't see him at all. if i didnt know who foxy was, i would only know his name. the only exception might be some empty masks in the backgrounds, but honestly i doubt it. this seems.. really strange to me. ill elaborate later

why did spring trap tie up oswald's dad? what was he going to do to him? did.. did anyone even die? oswald rescues everyone!

this is probably silly and i acknowledge that. but what was up with the giant spider jump scares..... i assumed itd be a new enemy or something but nah. THAT SPIDER WAS TOO BIG. WHY

what was oz's dad doing this whole time? was he trying to escape at some point? why is his shit all over the resturant?

onto just general critiques:

the gameplay did get a bit formulaic and sometimes fetch quests felt repetitive and/or like busy work. like why did i have to get five different sets of keys. bruh

the story has a lot of plotholes. and again, this is fnaf, these games have always looked like swiss goddamn cheese. but i can still be frustrated about it

for example, how is time passing in the past versus the present? IS it passing if we're not there? how do we affect the past? why does no one in the present acknowledge what happened here?? did spring trap get caught in this timeline? did anyone die? was oswald always a part of these events or did he change the timeline? this is presumably the first four/five murders, but a lot doesnt add up. is there a timeline where oz is one of the murdered kids? in the bad ending, he gets possessed, but not stuffed in a suit.

how does spring trap's possession even work? back then he was still alive and perfectly mortal... right? but then again, he supposedly strangles himself in the end, then leaps back to life to kill jeff? huh???

why is spring trap so animalistic? he doesnt seem human, and his eyes glow, which i dont think is something that suit can do (though i could definitely be remembering wrong)

speaking of which, i dont think the og four's eyes glow either, but they do in this game.

the "true good" ending does not make any fucking sense, first of all. second of all, considering the amount of work one would have to do to get it, it is extremely minimal. if i had done all that and only gotten a slight dialogue change as well as a "yay happy eating pizza at jeff's" scene i wouldve been PISSED.

also, speaking of not making sense, im sorry but oswald's lie to his dad about what happened is so obviously not true. why does he not question this at ALL? ESPECIALLY considering he has a fucking CHUNK OF HIS ARM BITTEN OFF. we see in jeff's ending that that shit bled a fucking lot! was his dad too concussed to call him on the obvious lie of "you fell and hit your head". and if he was, he would OBVIOUSLY NOTICE LATER THAT FIVE DAYS HAVE PASSED. AND THAT SOMEONE WAS WALKING AROUND PRETENDING TO BE HIM. WHAT (and dont say "oh he thinks he just lost his memory of those days" YOU DO NOT LOSE HUGE CHUNKS OF MEMORY UNLESS THERE IS MAJOR BRAIN DAMAGE OR TRAUMA. UH UH)

while talking to my gf, we came up with a couple theories.

one, she thinks its likely this game had more planned. and i agree - the missing presence of foxy is the biggest indicator, in my opinion, but theres other things too. for example, despite the fact that we're never able to enter the library or mill, both places have a map that can be pulled up when you press the map button outside those buildings.

the mill, especially, obviously has a ton of animatronic parts in the trash, and we all know that can be important... it seems to be too big a thing to be a simple easter egg, but what do i know.

another thing that feels way too big to be an easter egg is gabrielle; the girl who gives you a notebook with information about the animatronics (not foxy :( ) that provides hints for later. she mentions that her grandfather was a technician that worked with them back in the day. he never talks about it now though (the ONE acknowledgement we get in the present that bad shit went down!!!)

like.. is this henry? someone else? SURELY that is not a random guy. but it's a one and done interaction. i thought, when meeting her, that she would become a friend and ally, that we'd be able to learn more. the writing seemed to slant that way, but no. we're never able to talk to her again afaik

all this lends itself to the idea that the game was pushed. i can perfectly picture, like a year ago, someone telling the team "fnaf 10th anniversary is august 2024, get it out for then" and them having to cut stuff they had planned (but perhaps not developed, as afaik there are not missing assets showing foxy or the other things mentioned)

which is obviously a shame, and if thats the case i of course commend the team! this is a great game, especially if it was rushed. but this is becoming a pattern with fnaf games, and considering this is such a big successful franchise, that should not be the case.

anyway! overall, i truly did enjoy playing into the pit, and im very glad it was my first experience playing a fnaf game myself rather than watching a playthrough. and there are secrets that seem to be deliberately cliffhangers, in true fnaf game fashion. such as the photo that stuns spring trap, or the minigames.

[gaylienz]

sharing some of my ocd intrusive thoughts for the first time jic it might help someone else feel less alone;

the fear that i dont have enough friends and that all the ones i have are going to realize i’m not worth being around were some of the first thoughts that would NOT leave my mind and would keep me up and make me sick and ironically caused me to lose friends (a self fulfilling prophecy). tbh these are still some feelings i struggle with despite carrying on years long friendships now.

it hasn’t happened in a while but sometimes i would hyper focus on my breathing or swallowing or blinking etc and would drive myself to the point of tears with how it took up all my attention

the worst ones are the thoughts about incest. there’s been a lot of sexual trauma in my family and my brain likes to find the worst moments (like when i’m trying to jerk off or sleep) to remind me and torture me with all the what ifs. its gotten slightly better but i would have dreams/nightmares and memories from childhood haunt me

i used to do this really cool (/sarcasm) thing where i would be so self conscious about my race, being white-passing, and racist (aka a potential threat to any poc around) that it circled right back around to being super racist (another self fulfilling stupid prophecy) bc i would get nervous anytime someone not-white was around that they would be anxious about my presence….

classic suicidal thoughts even when im not feeling suicidal (something goes wrong even a little bit—my brain: well this wouldnt have happened if you were dead. me: wow thanks) even now today im struggling with the awful 'im gonna kill myself' jokes. trying to replace with 'i need rat bites to live' lol

the way i dealt with the obsessions was a combo of things which never really felt compulsive but now i see they might be? i used to read a lot. like to the point where i would skip meals and be inside for the entire day, unmoving. i liked reading but mostly it was how i kept my mind busy and away from other more dangerous thoughts.

i guess body-focused repetitive behaviors (BFRBs) are a thing with ocd which i didnt always know—basically its really gross and im ashamed of it but i autocannibalise….i’ve been doing so for as long as i can remember but im so ashamed i’ve never really talked about it bc i just thought i was disgusting (and maybe i am) but i catch myself doing it without thought which i believe is impulse (or habit?) idk but it hurts my body so probably would be considered mildly concerning? i've pulled out my hair and given myself many scars through this kind of stuff.

anyway just letting you know that you're not alone, don't be afraid to ask for help, and if that doesnt work then never give up and keep asking for help, be excellent to each other you never know what someone is experiencing <3

[chaosandthe-deadblog]

hi i’m that one person who was upset about a sonadow sex joke you made. let me preface by saying i’m not here to argue or scare you but to apologize.

you don’t have to respond to this at ALL i just saw your blog name and felt guilty for hurting you.

im sorry about upsetting you and reacting the way i did. i still think its eugh and everything. but i just get upset when people make jokes about that with characters previously stated to be minors because of personal trauma and people sexualizing me as a kid and just morals in general. of course i know that i can’t control how people enjoy their stuff, and i know it’s going to exist regardless. but i want to at least know if who im interacting with is someone i don’t want to talk to due to being a proshipper or whatever stuff like that.

i wasn’t trying to ‘cancel’ you or anything. i was upset and said something in the moment. i’m sorry. i should have just unfollowed and moved on. i should’ve saw the human i knew behind the screen but what i could only think of was a random person i didn’t know. i’m really sorry.

well, anon, i accept your apology. but also i dont. so let's take this one by one, okay?

first of all. you're still wrong, and i'm still angry.

it wasnt a "sex joke", i was commenting on a uquiz someone else made, because i found the sheer fact that sonadow of all ships was included in that quiz to be really funny. not to mention, the uquiz was based on statistics from ao3, and i guessed the correct answer by just knowing how shipping culture works. i thought this was funny. you know, people are allowed to find suggestive humor funny, even if you're uncomfortable with it, anon.

but i'll humor you. lets say i was doing the things i got accused of doing. big deal. i don't think you're wrong for being upset, much less for being uncomfortable, but one: could've settled this over dms, two: not everyone is you. not everyone is uncomfortable. not everyone cares so much. i didn't give that joke more than two seconds of thought, you clearly did, and i don't think you're wrong for that, i think it wasn't my problem.

secondly, and this will sound horrible, but (like i said) your discomfort isn't something i (the people running that oc poll, and my followers, by the way) needed to know about. i hear you, anon, and i'm sorry that all that happened to you. i understand the discomfort. but, like i said, we could've settled this in private, you could've at least told me which mutual you were, and no one else had to know.

third: i am not a proshipper, and i don't appreciate that you're still calling me gross, by the way. this isn't an apology if you're not accepting you were wrong. i'll humor you again and say that i was doing what you say i was doing: it is not that serious to me, and i don't like being called gross for something that is just plain, morally neutral weird (not good, not bad, neutral weird)

and fourth: thank you for at least recognizing what you should've done. however you didn't do that. from what i understand, based on what happened shortly after your anon, you went to the person running that sonic oc poll (which, whatever, i was losing anyway), and you lied about what i was doing to get me kicked out. good on you for realizing that was wrong. but you know, i'm still angry. im banned from many fandom events now because you couldn't just unfollow me. so i'm glad you realized it was wrong, i accept your apology, but i'm still very much angry with you.

i'm glad you're sorry, i'm glad you're recognizing i'm a human being (okay?) and i'm glad you at least tried to apologize. don't call me gross, apologize for real, and next time don't do this to someone through tumblr anon over whats essentially a common ocurrence on the sonic fandom, and every other fandom

(by the way, even if we weren't mutuals, you shouldnt do something like this to "a random person you don't know" either, but what do i know right? and "because of my trauma" isn't an excuse, because by that logic you also generated trauma in me, because now i'm fucking paranoid about everything i fucking post. i can thank you for that.)

have a nice day.

by the way

[proshipconfessions]

honestly just putting this out there because i want comfort or something. a couple of friends know i read noncon often and i was writing a story with one of my f/o's in it that had noncon as well and despite me warning them that it had this they still kept pressuring me to show them and then said they were grossed out and it made them uncomfortable. i just feel horrible now for a lot of reasons, i upset them and i shouldve kept it to myself and now i dont even want to continue it even though it meant a lot to me. maybe im overreacting but i really dont know how to get over this, feels like my own private world has been invaded considering i have sexual trauma myself and was already very much ashamed of my fantasies even before this.

I’m so sorry that your friends pressured you and then judged you when you showed them something so personal. You are absolutely not to blame here. You gave them a trigger warning, and they still peer pressured you into showing them.

I understand how personal this stuff can be, and how devastating letting people in only to be shamed is.

The shame is hard to unlearn, but writing/enjoying noncon fic is morally neutral. You’re not a bad person for it. It’s just a form of writing like any other, and writing is awesome!

I want to reiterate that you didn’t do anything wrong here. (Bolded since it’s super important.) I know how hard it can be to work yourself back up to doing something you love after you’ve been rejected for it, but I hope that you can. This is something that’s important to you, and I hope that you can make it so that these people don’t take that from you.

[im-out-of-it]

PSA: I STILL FUCKING HATE WILL HERONDALE AND HE IS A BASTARD 👏🏼

Will said, “some shadowhunters have always been bastards. My family has good cause to know it.”

well that’s ironic because you’re a bastard but we must be ignoring that? are we ignoring how you’ve treated Tessa in the beginning, all Jem has been through, Sophie’s treatment, literally almost everyone in TID, how you treated Gabriel-

and I don’t care if anyone wants to argue Gabriel but Will threw the first punch. he came after Tatiana, Gabriel’s sister. say what you want about Tatiana (I hate what she did to her brothers) but she was just a child with a silly infatuation. she at the time didn’t know any better and how he treated her was gross and then assaulting Gabriel because of it, and acting as though Gabriel is some ghastly villain, the fuck?

and yes, Gabriel hasn’t always been kind (he’s a sweetheart and I love him ok?????) but he’s not the one who started this feud if you want to call it that. Gabriel owns up to what he did, staying by his fathers side and choosing to be better.

at least Gabriel grows and becomes a better person. I’m not defending what he’s done wrong but I feel like gabriel actually grows and adapts as a character. I don’t see Will changing and to say this statement is humorous and ironic in all

Will has made jokes about the most traumatic experience Gabriel probably had. having to kill his own father. I’m sorry but that’s not a laughing moment??? that’s something I would guess stays heavy in Gabriel’s head. if I were Cecily, I would not be allowing that shit. everyone just accepts this????? if Gabriel made a joke about Will’s father, on the devil, all hands on deck!!!! then Gabriel would be seen as the bad guy. and it’s mainly CC and her writing that do this because she purposely does this thing consistently.

this is part of the terrible and lazy writing of CC. she has men go through things (herondales) and then doesn’t have them own up to what they did wrong. there’s no trying to change, adapt, grow. it’s just stale

Alastair grows a lot in my opinion, Alec slightly grows (it’s still super bad though. he deserves better too.), I even think Matthew kinda grows. literally so many characters grow but who never takes accountability??? majority of the herondales. they’re basically out here “I went through trauma but I will treat anyone how I deem desirable and y’all will accept it”. this is just my personal take on the family and the characters. plus it’s super repetitive because CC keeps doing the same thing over and over again.

it’s tiring honestly. I don’t think Will has ever apologized for how he has treated Gabriel or Gideon (which I don’t think was as bad but I also can’t remember) and his apologies always come off as half ass. also I feel like Tessa kinda settled for Jem because he was sick and they thought he would die anyways??? and that doesn’t sit right with me. but these are just my opinions and takes on these matters

I still fucking hate Will and what he did to Gabriel is unforgivable.

personally I would’ve cut out all the Will stuff in TLH (especially the weird fucking grieving sex he and Tessa love and the abandonment of their children basically) and added more Gabriel and Gideon content. yes im Lightwood biased but it’s not my fault they’re better lmao

let’s see gideon and Alastair bonding, add Gabriel as a parent. maybe have him talk some sense into Anna!!!! see gideon reassuring Thomas that he knows he’s innocent and didn’t kill anyone. see more of Eugenia. once again: IT COULD HAVE BEEN BETTER

[carnagesaw]

kirimi gore talk + eye trauma talk warning its gross for sure but ive been thinking about it for a couple days now

sooo mad i cant draw gore that well do you know how often id just start drawing kirimis fucked up mo3 eye . hes already like a default character i go to for drawing since his design is a little more ‘complex’ but still. sometimes i think about how in mo3 sigkin slashed his eye and comtinued on leaving him there which is jarring enough as is but. Later on hed have to remove the eye since a laceration that deep obviously renders the eye useless as well as at risk for a nasty infection (which who knows what else sigkin mightve dug his scythe into before getting to kirimi, i dont imagine he cleans it often or takes good care of his weapons since he just doesnt seem like the guy, especially when hes on a chocolate induced stupor) okay sorry that was off topic anyways.

how did kirimi get his eye out.

do you think after he got jeraldy and jungle out he had to hide himself and just manually rip it out once they found the supplies to cover it up. like imagine being jungle and jeraldy, barely teenagers and having to hear some guy you barely know but now take up as an older supervisor figure just hide behind some rocks or a tree and dig his hand into his eye socket to remove a defunct eye.

or maybe after the massacre kirimi was in such a state of shock for so long after and in denial of ever getting injured both from adrenaline and how quickly events transpired he just let it get infected and bubbled to the point where if he had kept it any longer the infection would have spread to the rest of his body and become devastating enough to take him out too. he has to sit down with some makeshift medical supplies and mirror (probably a body of stagnant water depending on how far theyd need to wander to other civilization) and just try and operate on himself.

theres like. the third idea of both option 1 and 2 where jeraldy and jungle have to hold kirimi down and force the eye out but i dont necessarily enjoy thinking of that too much since 1. i dont think kirimi would involve anyone except himself in anything to do with any aspect of his health and 2. it would be subjecting jeraldy and jungle to something they definitely dont need to see after a traumatizing event <- aka this would just be trauma on trauma

anyways. gross stuff to think about. Yes i am aware but also i like thinking about realistic aspects like this since even if the numa arent human and can die and come back to life depending on magic im like 100% sure trauma based injuries are in no way able to heal and if they were theyd come back wrong if forced.

[sooniebby]

FOR REAL LIKE . for example, i get having a teeny pain kink or liking being degraded or whatever, or even having a blood fetish even tho that confuses me personally but i mean i like being degraded UNDER MODERATION!! certain kinks that branch off of degradation, um. slut shaming, just to name names i guess... its um.

very...

easy.

to take that too far.

and then when its taken too far it gets into some of the stuff booktok girls like to read and i mean some of those books are pretty drool worthy but some of them are just traumatizing and/or making existing trauma worse than it already was. esp with me, bc i was heavily slut shamed in middle school by a guy that i really liked, and it really truly did traumatize me very heavily. i mean i can write it if someone requests it but if one does then bud ur fic is gonna take a few days to write, because i am a writer, and writers tend to be human beings. and human beings tend to have fragile feelings and fall onto a widely expanding spectrum of needs and methods for dealing with trauma.

and that leads me back to my point about the gojo stans. one: yes, poor normal gojo stans (even tho that species really never prospered much and theres not a lot of them left).

and for the other gojo stans-

i personally was being a little extreme, i might write for gojo, but gojo fics will be few and far between because one, physical attractiveness-wise, he just doesnt do it for me besides the eyes and white hair. and hes tall but thats it bc personality and mindset heavily affect physical attractiveness in my eyes.

and i personally cannot stand him because of that and a variety of other reasons, including that

hes annoying, cocky, and i agree with akutami in that he has absolutely no personality aside from his trauma, which yes is valid literally he lost his best friend to the dark side, but he doesnt deal with it well.

or at all honestly.

thank you for coming to my ted talk and im solly it was so long.

Lolol, I love Ted talks

Anyway, I understand what you’re saying. A lot of requests I get really makes me uncomfortable lmao.

Like, I actually kinda hate degradation as a kink, but I still write it cuz it’s nothing terrible. I can handle it

There has only been once that I got a kink that I just had to refuse, it was baby trapping (apparently that’s a kink 😒) I just can’t do that, I feel like there’s stuff that needs to have limits

I don’t call for people who write weird shit to be in jail or something… but in my opinion, you gotta be able to handle the judgement you get from people if you tell them. Cuz somethings are weird and gross and it’s really a wonder why you like that even if it’s just “fiction” lol

Also yeah.. gojo doesnt doesn’t do much for me tbh. I prefer reading him getting his cheeks clapped by Geto. My main man is Choso 🫶🏼😼 he beautiful or whatever

[jakowskis]

Day 8 - Are there any scenes (or even full episodes) that you can’t stand? If yes, and you could go back in time and rewrite them, how would you fix them?

LITERALLY HAD TO PUT THIS UNDER THE CUT TOO BC ITS SO LONG FJSDHFKJSDFHKDSJFHKDSJDSHFSDKJFHK I HATE THIS FUCKING SHOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

im not gonna rlly propose fix-its, i just like to bitch. haha. anyway, in no particular order…

the owen & jack jail scene in dmw. it’s sooo frustratingly underwhelming. they had the perfect chance to explore some really interesting stuff with jack + his relationship with his immortality, and to explore the parallels drawn between the two of them, and jack suddenly having someone who might also "live" forever to keep him company… and then they Didn’t. it’s suuuch a let down. and the first half of that scene being ‘light-hearted’ and gross is so irritating and disrespectful to owen. absolutely the wrong tone. that ep pisses me tf off.

i have a lot of issues with owen & jack’s relationship in general. in aditd, when owen tries to drown himself + finds he can’t, and jack’s reaction is to 1) throw a soulless flirty line at him, and 2) ask him “how long he’s gonna do this for”... that scene bugs the fuck out of me. like what the fuck. what a monstrous way to react to someone who’s suicidal. and i’d like it if the show ever bothered to explore why jack seems to view owen’s suicidality with such disdain (because it’s a consistent thing; he’s also callous in combat), like that could also provide insight into his character - but they don’t! ugh! so it just makes him look like a fucking dick and makes me resent him. especially when he’s a lot more sympathetic to john in out of time. like why is he so nasty to owen in particular. fuck knows, they don’t bother touching on it. missed opportunities!!!

and, returning to the way dmw treats owen, i hateeee how he’s treated once he’s dead, by the characters AND the writers. everyone on the team is cruel towards him during his undead arc. they warm up again to him later, but the show itself decides he’s no longer relevant after that + seems to act like all his angst went away and he’s fine again. torchwood SUCKS at emotional continuity. the only time it comes up is that they REPEATEDLY have the antagonist of the episode make a point to remind owen + the viewers how pathetic and useless he is now that he’s dead (the nostravite + the ghostmaker both do it). and it’s just.. corny, and disrespectful, like come on.

actually dead man walking as a whole... i just hate that episode. i talked about it more here, it’s just….. ridiculous, and bad, and embarrassing 😭 i had to skip the fucking fight scene at the end i didn’t have the strength i get secondhand embarrassment too easily HFDJKSHFKDJS. the concept isn’t terrible it’s the fucking execution its sooo… idek how i’d fix that mess. i don’t like it. blegh. and like i said, tw does emotional continuity so poorly, like i don’t really have a question i can fully bitch about this on (well? maybe. we’ll see) but the way they go through significant traumas every ep and the emotional weight of those events is never touched on in the following eps... like the shit in dmw would’ve been a lot for owen to deal with but by aditd he’s got other problems. it’s just… ugh.

and if dmw is the second worst use of bad cgi, we must talk about the first… abaddon. i love end of days so fucking much, the interpersonal shit going on between the team is FASCINATING and so good, the mutiny scene is so good, them all being haunted by their past (aka the events of the past 12 episodes) is so good, for torchwood it’s a GOOD episode - and then there’s this fucking ridiculously embarassing terrible monster from the depths of hell stomping everywhere and roaring and i literally cannot describe how hard i was laughing when i first watched that ep. genuinely hysterical. especially after getting gut-punched like thirty times throughout the rest. and whatever jack did to defeat it... so fucking bad. SO fucking bad. idk what the fuck that was but it was a MESS. and the worst possible way to wrap up the “something’s coming out of the darkness O.O” bullshit (which, they didn’t, that continued into owen’s arc, like cmon…) it was just a shit show. see it’s hard for me to hypothesize about how they coulda fixed that bc it’s so bad but it’s kind of iconic. im kind of glad it’s there bc it’s just… torchwood wouldn’t be torchwood if it wasn’t fucking awful. but also. shudders.

ok ok i swear ill stop complaining abt owen-specific shit but ofc thts what i take most issue with, and a lot of my complaints abt the others are less about specific scenes and more generalized things, so ill talk about them when i talk about their characters… ill talk about this more in owen’s section, but i have… problems with the end of days ending, with the hugs. i like that scene a lot, the connotations are fascinating, but the way owen and jack are framed in it is…. eugh…. and most people miss the fact that it’s ‘eugh’? a lot of people see it as a sweet scene and that’s… oof… again i’ll get into it more later but i wish it was framed differently. torchwood could never make up it’s mind on how it saw the characters, lmao.

adjacent subject… the way jack’s return is framed. i HATE the way they just bounce back to normal once jack comes back. like, him leaving would’ve been fucking traumatizing. and the show doesn’t properly give closure to any of them. (it does a tiny bit to gwen + ianto, but like… owen’s abandonment issues are a consistent theme in the show, esp s1. his ‘did he fix you?’ line is unnecessarily sooo heartbreaking. what do you mean ur not gonna give a single moment to those two. Okay.) tbh a lot of these complaints are about the fact that i desperately wish torchwood was a show that cared about the emotions + mental health of their characters when it simply Is Not. tw is, regrettably, not the character-focused show it should be. and i hate it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

a few last owen specific things…. i hate the owen growling at the weevil scene in combat. like what was the deal with that. they don’t rlly explain it in the commentary either it’s just. ?? but again it’s one of those things thts like. i can’t imagine a world where this show was actually good + didn’t have random weird cringe shit sprinkled in HFKSDJF it’s part of the charm. sigh

also owen & mark shouldve fucked. combat should’ve been gayer.

captain jack harkness should’ve been LESS gay. the excessive tongue kissing was fucking gross FSHDFJKDS like. i know that scene’s important to a lot of people + i respect it as an important moment in queer television + the way it’s framed as this big romantic moment, but the actual kissing is just. gross. why did they have to kiss like that. there are better ways to kiss. sincerely, someone who’s very picky about kisses + still covers my eyes like a kid at like 60% of onscreen kisses. 

tkks stopwatch scene. ianto why are you flirting w the man who killed ur girlfriend four episodes ago. fucking evil. like ok lmao 👍thats not bad writing whatsoever to never explore that in-show and only do it in an audio 10 yrs later. sure.

all of them randomly having empathy for the alien whale in meat has always driven me crazy. i thought we were gonna find out that the whale had like, empathy-enhancing powers or telepathy or smth bc i couldn’t understand why any of those assholes cared sm. like, in tkks we find out the glove is fueled by empathy + that’s why none of them can use it. like, these are people who aren’t naturally empathetic. nothing wrong with that, i’m like that lol. so i was really thrown off when they randomly all deeply cared about an alien creature. especially owen. like, i get randomly being moved by something, happens to the best of us, but the way it affected all of them + so profoundly felt ooc to me and has always bugged me a little. s2 tried so badly to humanize a group that s1 painted as absolute assholes, and i personally LOVE that they’re assholes. i am not the biggest fan of s2, lol.

a lot of tosh scenes bug me, bc the show generally has very little respect for her + her capabilities, but ill get into that more when i talk about her as a character. specifically some of the tosh & owen scenes fucking INFURIATE me. he’s so nasty to her. the end of adam (‘i dont do apologies’ and the smug little smile), and laughing at her when he agrees to the date in reset, and ‘in your dreams, tosh’ in countrycide all stand out. ive complained about it before + ill do it again; idk wtf they were trying to tell the viewers with tosh/owen. i like the concept of the ship, because it has potential - i absolutely HATE it within the context of the show. every ‘towen moment’ just works to humiliate tosh. it’s awful.

killing beth. im sure other people have done essays on the way torchwood treats its poc, esp its woc (although, knowing this fandom, maybe not lmao), and the lisa sitch was enough of a mess… the beth sitch could’ve been done differently. her essentially committing suicide by cop was fucking awful. ugh.

also the twist that suzie was evil + ten steps ahead could’ve been done much better. that should’ve been better written. 

as i said, i dont even like tosh/owen, but the fact that you never see them dance in something borrowed was just plain mean tbh. u can see like a millisecond of a frame if you pause in the right place, but still, why not include a fraction of a nice moment between them. cmon. something like that might’ve actually made me like them more

i hate the blowfish confrontation in kkbb it’s corny. cmon

i bitched about adam a lot the other day (again, here)… idek how i’d get that episode up to my standards. im petty about s2 as a whole and ive been meaning to try to put thought into what would fix it for me for months and i haven’t gotten around to it cuz its such a daunting thought. grr. i think i’d just completely redo the way adam influences them all. i literally don’t like what any of their altered selves offer. there’s no insight into them i find worthwhile. ig the shit abt jack’s past is worth keeping but i’d redo it completely bc i hate the gray arc. i’d have to find some way to keep the conference scene though, or get that new character info + vibe elsewhere. bah

[bibiana112]

HIIII ive seen you mention your ztd aftermath fic a few times in tags and id rly like to know more... feel free to yap about it im curious

Hiii hellooo SO!!! Something that always sticks out to me with fics that touch a little on the immediate post ztd reactions is that things just kind of sort themselves out and everyone chills out for a little bit which I cannot see happening like no wayyy it's okay for the purposes of other people's fics but personally I'm a staunch believer in effort going into the smallest things in life especially when it involves a group of people and especially when you're fucked up as they'd be after that and it's something I love exploring in my writings like expanding in gross detail on the more mundane ups and downs between all the high stakes stuff like I don't think they'd walk out of there working in harmony at allll there'd be so many factors going into how everyone would be thinking and how they'd interact with each other and how the lives they've lead would inform the new trauma after that and how each of them would react to their immediate circumstances like on a physical level

I mean. Diana is completely new to any of this stuff and she's supposed to just transition seamlessly into a sudden new commited relationship and a daughter her own age? Phi has not gotten a single break since she experienced the events of vlr and has a whole complex about where she comes from and she's supposed to feel uncomplicated joy at finding out these are her parents and that the motherfucker that made the virus that's been making her life hell for a week is related to her? It's just been one week for her and that's so long but so little too she'd still have a connection to most of her old life? That shit isn't true about Sigma what's he supposed to do since Akane lied to his face about not knowing what happened at the test site for decades? It's not even something she remembers doing to him but he remembers spending a lifetime with her I love the ztd booklet scene of them interacting during d-com he asks Akane not to let her future self lie to past him point blank and she just says what he wants to hear and Phi stands in silence like she can't wrap her head around why he thinks for even a second that she'd be honest about being honest but stil extending enough goodwill to silently wait and see if she will. the man would be having a whole crisis of faith

Where do they leave Sean? Should he just stay with Q-team wouldn't he need maintenance and therefore stay in contact at least with Sigma? Eric doesn't remember much so he'd shockingly be one of the most calm people there, he'd have to deal with some revelations but Sean informed them of it in a good enough way that he seemed to take it well enough and even if that's not true he's the most high masking mf of the entire cast he wouldn't let himself step on other people's toes, if anything he'd only be set off by how everyone would have something to hold against Mira now, she kills everyone once except Carlos and Akane and she doesn't remember but they do, in fact there being a serial killer in their midst memo never gets to c-team delta never tells the whole snail story to every team. Would Mira just turn herself in without any resistance? Wouldn't someone have to talk her into it or at least make sure that's what she's really going to do since the stakes are so high? It's her fucking fault rad-6 got out too the characters have no reason to trust she's just gonna beeline to a police station. Carlos would probably be fine for the most part but he wouldn't be around long to keep everyone else sane especially Junpei and Akane because he'd probably go check on Maria as soon as possible especially since we're led to believe avoiding the apocalypse helps her recover

Akane herself would be all sorts of fucked up about it, there'd be so much pressure on her by everyone there and she'd try to be forward thinking and work on the extremist stuff immediately without processing anything and overcompensate the new recent failure to foresee dange and her revictimization by being even more controlling and inconsiderate to the others which is an energy Junpei would match I think especially going off his enneagram they'd be immediatly set in like an unhealthy loop of behaviors that push each other's trauma buttons on accident until they're hurting cause they're both trying to rush things and put each other in idealized boxes they imagined and having things their way Junpei is gonna come off much worse probably cause he's not a pov character and he's canonically an underhanded asshole when he has reson to be and he would not trust akane or her brother wouldn't be trying to pull another fast one on him so soon especially if we assume he has restored memories of the c-team ending too he'd like get keyed up and paranoid of being away from her for even a second

There are so many logistics involved in transporting and keeping in contact with people while simultaneously making sure no one leaks any sensitive information and that's probably important for Crash Keys and would fall mostly on Aoi to keep track of but he would in my opinion not be doing very okay either be it out of separation anxiety a level of psychically feeling like shit because of what akane goes through or just stress from preparing for an apocalypse more likely all of the above lol And he'd be working with half the info everyone else has cause if Akane doesn't pace herself in passing the new info to him he's gonna snap

Like I don't think these issues would be a slow burn to boil over, I think everything would feel like it's all going wrong from the get go and that kind of stress can be palpable in a group setting even if they're not under direct threath of death anymore I mean that's what ptsd is it's when you get fight or flight or freeze levels of fear in an entirely safe environment due to perceived instability and then they'd eat and rest and deal with it better for the next day, be more functional and levelheaded about everything going forward and even perhaps apologize and help each other out, and they'd be like that for a good while until underlying issues start to surface again in individual relationships cough mostly the junepei cough