#'unless youre willing to get cool with a whole lot of stuff. including your own sexuality. real quick'

[horror-aesthete]

Frankenstein Created Woman, 1967, dir. Terence Fisher

[the-cat-and-the-birdie]

MORE Cute Spider Society Headcanons: Extracurriculars and Sports

Another list of headcanons I have about Spider Society and what it's like on campus. This time - Music, Sports, The Society Newspaper, and other fun things to do on campus

Heads-up: There's light mentions of Spidersonas below - including my own lovely Disco-Spider Diane. All creators tagged at the end

[This post has a lot of links in thise - ALL lead to other tumblr posts. Most of them explain callback jokes, additional headcanons, or the information about the Spider-person being named. All the Spider-people mentioned here are free-to-use headcanons, unless otherwise named. Those who are actual Spider-sonas that my Spider-sona knows - their first names maybe used, or their sona introduction will be linked. Basically if their normal name isn't given and/or theres no link, have at it]

LETS GO

The Spider Music Scene goes CRAZZZYY

Thought it was just Hobie?

Of course not! There's MetroSpider too

In fact there's a whole wide range of accompanying 'Spider-*music genre*'

There's Spider-Goth who plays gothic death metal, DiscoSpider who plays funky pop, Spider-Grunge into 90's garage grunge, RrrriotSpiderrr who plays Riot Girl Grunge

There's even SpiderSync

Which is NYSNC. But they're all Spider-people. Like Justin Timberlake as Spider-man. They roam as a group

That's because Metro isn't the only celebrity Spidey either -

There's SpiderB, which is just Beyonce but a Spider-person. Britney Spiders, which is Britney Spears but a Spider-person. Doja-Spider, Doja Cat. You get the gist.

Like imagine being in the Spider Society campus food court and turning around to see BEYONCE

And she's like 'yes.. It's me'

and it's literally just like the normal Beyonce with albums and everything excepts shes also Spiderwoman

And gay. And has a rapper wife named Jane-Z

Every year there's a collaborative album from all the musical Spiders

Called 'The Yearbook'

A lot of the songs are about the direct struggle or experience of being Spider-people

With some really good party songs thrown in for the Spider-raves

Hobie and Gwen's band Wicked Webs appears on the album, along with any Spider who plays an instrument.

If your spidersona can carry a tune, they're on it.

AND IT'S FIRE

You can buy the album at the Commissary.

The first week at campus EVERYbody is playing it. In the common rooms or the food court or training rooms -

They'll just play this album that's by Spider-people for Spider-people

If your spidersona starts singing ANY part of a 'Yearbook' song some without a doubt will respond with the next lyric. everybody knows the words

Spidey people really treat Hobie like a rockstar - and a lot of them go to his concerts

It's kinda a huge unspoken thing on campus that a LOT of people are willing to break rank and head to 136 without permission, just to see Hobie on Saturday nights.

Even people who don't hang with Hobie or don't necessarily know the real him

They still go cause his shows are THE PLACE to be.

Spider-people pour into his tiny venues in London, all out of uniform, and they mingle with the punks in the crowd while Hobie goes Miguel Mode on stage

It's a place where they can all drink (if over 18) and party (any age, Hobie gotchu ur safe with him) and enjoy themselves

And as a result, Hobie is a HIT with people from his universe

They know that Hobie's shows are always lit and full of cool people you'll never see anywhere else

The after-parties are CRAZY (party on all six walls), and it's really common for Spider-friends to link up and head to each others universes after the show - getting into their own shenanigans

There's MANY times Ansi, Asa, Hobie, and Diane have gotten themself into some shit while lit after one of Hobie's shows

And every Monday people are talking about what they get into after the show, the crazy stuff that popped off in the after-parties

MetroSpider, Pavi, Diane, Hobie, & Margo throw the BEST parties

Miguel knows about this, and he lets it slide - for the sake of morale (and not causing a riot if he banned it)

There's an international Spider community on campus

You thought Spiderman India and Spider-UK was it? NO

Spider-Canada and Hobie are other noticeable ones , but there's more!

There's the Peruvian 'IncaSpider' named Moche, a Paris born SpiderFrance, a SpanishSpider, SpiderItaly

A Mahayana Buddhist ThaiSpider, VietSpider, Spiderwoman Brazil. The list goes ON AND ON.

There's a large group of Indigenous Spider-people

Some Spider-people are even born in countries that don't exist in most universes or live in universes that live in countries that USE to exist

My favorite international Spider-person is the Australia Spider-person who is simply named Australian Spider

People constantly joke they're no dangerous than the average Australian Spider

And there's also a Spider Olympics!

And the events are DESIGNED for superhumans

Diving from buildings into swimming pools, Track meets where people are running at like 80mph, Web Gymnastics, Contact Sports

Ice Hockey gets REAL intense - and of course SpiderCanada is a team captain

As does Roller Derby. Wanna see superhumans fucking WRECKING each other? Go watch Spider-Derby, the players have derby names that play off their own Spider-names. So it's like a triple identity.

And once a year, they all throw down - and even if you aren't THE Spider of your nation, you can still participate if you want -

Like Hobie can enter for Britain but he'd rather die than do anything for that country

It's the one place you can compete and fully push your spider powers without danger - plus it's with your friends

They do give out medals. But it's mainly bragging rights.

Pavi earned his first gold medal in the diving portion for India only three months after his bite. Which is a record for The Society

However the Spider-person with the highest number of medals is Lego-Spider-man. I don't know how.

Sports are HUGGGEEEE on campus I cannot stress this enough

Everyone knows The Society LOVES baseball (shoutout @theevoh12)

But they also love football too (European - not American)

The Society also has TWO soccer teams that constantly play against each other

They play 4 wall soccer in which the field extends the length of a room, up the walls, and across the ceiling - leaving two walls for spectators. This is usually just called 4wFootball or 4WF

This is played with extended rules - and a modified ball that can stick and roll along walls

MANY people on Society backs one of the teams.

And before a game there WILL be arguments without a doubt

You DO NOT insult someones 4WF

You can get team jerseys in the Commissary

WebSlinger Patrick O'Hara is Captain on one team. No, the horse does not play

(I want a jersey with Patrick's 4wFootball number)

Imagine being a Spider Society Athlete and seeing other superhumans wearing your jersey and giving you thumbs up - WHOLESOME

Games can be played 'Plain' or 'Full'

A 'plain' game of 4wFootBall uses basic spider abilities such as speed, strength, and reaction time - however special abilities are not allowed

A 'full' game of 4wFootBall uses basic spider abilities as well special abilities and passive tactics. If Mile wants to go invisible in a 'full' game - that's permissible

Miguel's venom is NOT however. Can't be paralyzing other players. Abilities that effect the other players are off limits, so no electro powers

'Plain' games are played out-of-suits, in team uniform

'Full' games are played in-suits, with the team uniform over it

Betting on teams and players is against the rules

But also Lyla runs an underground betting system and fantasy 4wfootball league. Don't tell Miguel.

There's other activities with solo athletes, and like Hobie being a famous rockstar on campus - there are star athletes too

Tennis is a huge one. Volleyball too. With an extra long field.

The serves, spikes, and hits can be genuinely dangerous. They're managing swings and hits that can top out at like 110 mph (just above the world's fastest baseball pitch)

But because everyone are Spider-people, its fairly easy to follow in real-time

Star-Spiders are usually tennis players, gymnasts, weightlifters, and track stars, but there's a couple others too.

Pavi is a star gymnast, swimmer, AND A 4WFOOTBALL PLAYER - he goes REALLY hard at extracurriculars

(And he's surprisingly competitive. Like insanely competitive. Pavi will scream at the top of his lungs cause he scored a goal. He loses a game and as soon as they end the game he wants to practice cause he HAS to win next time)

The boy is a perfectionist.

One thing that's SO annoying is Venom Evaluation Checks

If you come in acting weird, too bold, or uncharacteristically agressive - You get sent to Spider-psyche so they can make sure you don't have venom.

Not my fault. Raimi-Peter (from the Raimi movies) pulled up to HQ one day in all black and started dancing all weird and saying cringy shit like 'Now dig on this'

And Jess was immediately like "Yeah, no. We're not digging on anything, sir."

There's a newspaper you can write for

Spider-Scrawl is the Editor-in-Chief of The Daily Web who is a GREAT boss by the way

And it's a MUCH better gig than working at The Bugle

So if your spidersona has worked for Jonah - submit a resume, you might get a call

Theres things like a Canon Event Advice Column, which Diane writes for

A news section that details the Craziest News across the multiverse

If your Doc Ock pulls some crazy shit and turns into a giant octopus - oh yeah thats going Front Page. Everyone on campus knows and you get to gloat about fighting a giant octopus

There's a Debate Section that updates with hot topics that only exist between Spider-people like:

'Is it okay to genetically replicate another Spider-persons organic webbing so you can recreate it for your mechanical webslingers?'

'Masks: Hair out or No? Spider-man India and DiscoSpider weigh in'

'Is the Go-Home machine ethical?'

'What's Miguel's favorite flavor of empanada?'

As you can imagine, these coversations across campus can get REALLY heated

There's a lot of entertainment

Yes, there's a movie theatre on campus. They play movies from across the Spider-verse, and they're a GREAT way to see versions of films you know - but different.

Watch GhostBusters except it's from WebSlinger's world and everyone is cowboys and they catch the ghosts with lassos

Other hits are shown on the big screen too

Barbie was a HUGE hit on campus. People coming in with pink outfits OVER their suits

And it's really cheap in terms of credits

So people like Gwen who started out living on campus, or who are apart of the Educational Study Program have nice things to do in their off-time

And, The Food Court is THE BEST

You think they only have empanadas - think AGAIN

Every culture, every time period. Even weird ass food that you wouldn't even want but is a staple in other universes.

They even have a FISH N CHIPS SHOP (Malala loves it there)

So Hobie can get his nasty ass beans on toast without leaving HQ

The Food Court is almost as big as the Training Wing, and there are so many places indoor and out to eat lunch

And it doesn't stop there -

There's a store (based on credits not money) and a general kitchen.

(As well as separate kitchens in each dorm wing)

You know how in SpyKids they have those meals that like GROW to full size in the microwave???

Guess what NUEVA YORK HAS THAT MY FRIEND

Missing McDonalds or a specific chain? - Just go to the Grocery in HQ and get a capsulized happy meal.

It grows to fill size in the expanders in the kitchen

Just pick the meal, put it in the expander, dip your ID card, and BOOM

Olive Garden with breadsticks on the side, Waffle House Waffles, McDonalds WITH international food options

Plus the grocery is fully automated by Lyla so you don't have to talk to people if you don't want to

But she will see all the nutter butters and pringles you pick up and she will judge you for it - it's between you and her but she's judging you

Miguel wants members to actually like the place he made

Because he finds no point in having unhappy, unsupported, unstable Spider-people out in the field -

He wants them at their happiest and healthiest so he tries his best

And he hardly partakes in any of this, but to him that's fine. It's not suppose to be for him.

He does enjoy seeing a full food court or walking by the training rooms and hear all the sessions going on

Hearing people talk about the new movie on campus

And sometimes you can even catch him humming a song from 'The Yearbook'

Imagine how smug Hobie was when he went 'bruv - are you tapping out my guitar notes rn?? you thinking about my song?'

Miguel can never live it down

Miguel DOES follow 4WFootball though -

He is actually one of the coaches for 4WFootball - he's a GREAT coach. Hardheaded ass fuck sometime but GOD he loves the Spider's on his team they're his favorites but he tries not to show it

And finally -

Yes there's a nursery and kindergarten on campus, specialized for Spider-kids regardless of if they have powers.

Peter doesn't let MayDay run free (all the time). MayDay attends the Itsy Bitsy Spider Daycare, and so will Jess's child

Sometimes while walking around HQ, you'll see little toddlers in single-file lines, holding lunch boxes as they follow Spider-Teacher on a field trip to another universe - to learn about the wonders of the multiverse

Their favorite trip is to WebSlinger's world, all the kids get to be cowboys and Patrick shows them ponies and lets them feed his horse Widow

There's a breakroom for people the multiple Spider-Teachers, Spider-Professors (Educational Program), Spider-Psyches, Spider-coaches, the list goes on and on

(Though Society Administration like Jess, Ben Reilly, and yes - Hobie (don't ask how hes just that good) have a separate breakroom from the educators and coaches and such )

And those breakrooms are funny as HELL It's like the Office back there.

This is really long :) Here's a photo of Hobie

Bye.

_________________________

ALSO ALSO ALSO : All the people, OCs, and other things I mentioned -

Ansi - by @spidey-bie Asa - by @suchholydebauchery Disco-Spider Diane - by ME @theevoh12's amazing baseball concept Spider-Scrawl by @whaliiwatching

Thanks for making HQ so rad!!

[myers-meadow]

Otis Driftwood relationship headcanons

It's no secret I've been completely obsessed with Otis the past month - so here are some Otis headcanons about how it could be to date him! These are mostly about the first movie, but I'm sure they're applicaple to Otis in the later movies too.

This list follows how a relationship develops, and the spicy stuff is discussed later. Hope you enjoy! Please reblog if you did! <3

No real warnings, just canon-typical stuff, mentions of torture and sex.

Especially in the beginning, Otis likes to intimidate his sweetheart. His gruff and outright mean personality makes it so that he likes to see you squirm.

If you’re a cool, tough person who’s not easily impressed, he’d love breaking through your tough exterior and goes to extremes to get you to react.

If you’re not, he still does, over and over again. He probably sees it as a way of teasing you. He likes seeing how you respond to different things. If blood doesn’t make you queasy, perhaps guts will do it. If it’s not bones, perhaps watching Baby scalp a person will get you nauseous.

You’ll get used to it. After a while. Probably.

It matters a lot to him whether or not the rest of the family likes you. He’s a family man through and through. Despite that, if he thinks the judgement of his family is unfair or untrue, he will not hesitate to discard their opinions and follow his own plan.

Don’t worry about him getting bored, he doesn’t expect much of a partner and is used to filling his time with his own projects.

Date nights mostly consist of his favourite activity: torture and hunting. He takes you out sometimes though, for dinner or drinks in some washed out bar. He can barely keep his hands to himself the whole time.

Otis is not very jealous or possessive (at least, he wouldn’t consider himself as such), he just needs you and everyone else to know exactly who you belong to.

He wants you to take his name if the relationship progresses to something steady. Since his own blood family was so shit, he named himself. Even despite living with the Firefly’s, he’s kept his own name, that’s how much his name means to him. Sharing the same name with you is of great significance to him, it would mean that you two are truly family.

He’s extremely loyal to his family, which includes you.

However, he may want to involve others from time to time – either as audience or as participants. He’d probably let you have your pick from time to time, if you’d wish. The participants or audience may not be willing, though, considering his sexual past before you. To him, monogamy is not the same as loyalty, but if it really hurts you, I think he’d consider your feelings more. He’d be a jerk about it, though.

Blood kink, knife kink, corruption kink – he has it all. All sorts of power play both in and outside of the bedroom are on the table, but don’t count on him to be submissive or on the receiving end of any of this. He’s not willing to give up control – unless you can convince him with something really special.

Otis is the only one who can hurt you. If there is a dangerous victim on the loose, he wouldn’t hesitate in throwing himself into the line of fire to protect you.

If someone manages to touch, let alone hurt, you, they would come to regret it unspeakably much. Otis’d never let them off easy.

He loves the thought of a partner who is utterly devoted to him. Waiting at home until he returns, listening to his every word when he’s philosophising, ready to lavish him with attention and affection, worrying for him when there are tourists around…

He enjoys when you’re vocal in bed – but even more than that, he loves when he’s able to steal your breath and your words away. He needs to see how easily you are affected by him, by what he’s doing.

In short; Otis has his own way of adoring you, but he absolutely does. Once he’s found his sweetheart, he’s not letting go.

Divider by firefly-graphics.

[wolf-queer-discourse]

Adventures in Aphobia #3

My last two Adventures in Aphobia both took on similar flavors of eye-rolling at shameless, obvious bigotry to anyone willing to look or care. But today, I found a different type of aphobia, and I’m actually eager to talk about this one. Have a read of this first.

Look, the bar of respect for ace people is so low it’s all the way in hell, but I mean, to many people, especially allosexual people, they may look at this post and think, “No, this isn’t aphobia. The poster wasn’t blatantly cruel.” But what some fail to realize is that politeness can be the thinnest of veils over the ugliest of takes. Polite bigotry gaslights the victims into thinking they can’t be upset about this.

So what’s the deal with this post?

PARAGRAPH #1 starts off innocently enough, saying ace discourse wouldn’t exist if people recognized complex relationships to sex and relationships. Even taken on its own, I do not agree with this. Ace discourse ranges all the way from outright denial of asexual existence to the strong hatred for and exclusion of aces from the queer community. Nearly everyone recognizes people have complex relationships to sex...that...that doesn’t mean ace people won’t be discriminated against. In fact, it’s an argument aphobes use constantly to try and gaslight ace people into erasing themselves. Ace discourse comes from a lot of places, but at the end of the day, it all stems from people’s refusal to acknowledge ace people and their unique experiences. This poster absolutely does not get to say “IT’s CoMpLicAteD”, and expect ace people to just disappear. Honestly, it’d be better and more honest if they said “Lol, ace people should go fuck themselves and hop to the back of the line with everyone else.”

PARAGRAPH #2 and #3 are not very objectionable on their own. Everything said is true. Society has very complicated views on sex, and life happens to all people. The ugly part of this is that the poster is setting up an argument here in which they will hand wave ace people into the “everyone else” crowd and pretend as if we’re all just too similar and no labels should even exist.

This is literally what enby-phobes do. They say “Well, gender is COMPLICATED”, which is true, but then they say “So like...aren’t we all really nonbinary when we think about it? Why should enby people label themselves?” I swear we’ve all seen this. The poster is agender. This argument could easily be whipped in their face. Different forms of bigotry can share very clear overlaps, and it’s very important to acknowledge where these arguments come from and why they exist. It exists as a way to shut people up. It happens to bi people too! Every day, people come out as bi and someone tells them “pff, everyone thinks girls are hot. I had a crush on my best friend once, that doesn’t mean I’m not straight! All people are like this!” Let’s call out this erasure where we see it. It’s not the same thing, and if anyone saying stuff like this truly believes what they’re saying, maybe they’re the ones who need to reevaluate their own identity.

PARAGRAPH #4 dips its ugly toes straight into blatant aphobia, having the gall to call ace and aro people “obsessed” with pretending their relationships with sex and romance are wholly unique and different. Nah, fuck right off with that bullshit. The poster even goes on to say ace people have created entire new social classes. Uh...WHAT? Is there some secret ace society with a caste system living in the shadows?? What is this person talking about?? I suppose you can’t be a true bigot unless you have some vague grievance to weakly hand-gesture at that you couldn’t prove given 20 years to do so. For the love of my sanity, just say you hate ace people! It’s okay! (I mean, not actually, but Jesus Christ does it save us all some time). They also say things like “somehow excluded from”. Replace asexual people with nonbinary people and take a joyride through this section, because the arguments are scarily similar. What would it take for this poster to acknowledge ace and aro people have their own experiences? Seriously, what? What holds you back from doing this?

It’s also funny to note the actual lack of substance to this argument. The poster is not giving any specific examples or even bringing up what being ace and aro mean. Yes, there is a pretty noticeable difference between feeling sexual attraction and not feeling sexual attraction. How many “allo” people do you know that say they’ve NEVER experienced this? Come on. The poster reduces asexuality and aromanticism down to allo people’s, in their own words, hyper-specific contexts where they don’t want sex or love. At least the poster admits any circumstance that allo people are comparable to ace people are extremely specific. But for real, are we hinging a whole argument on a few very specific examples of allo people having some similarity to ace people?

“Nothing about your relationship to sex or love makes you more or less LGBT. If you are gay and don’t want to have sex, ever, you are still gay. “

Mini strawman alert for the idea any ace person thinks you’re less gay if you’re also ace. And bonus points for an aphobe who refuses to use the definition of asexuality: not experiencing sexual attraction, and instead goes for “don’t want to have sex”. For the last. Fucking. Time. Not wanting to have sex and being asexual are NOT the same. Don’t make me pour gasoline in my eyes every time I see this.

After this, the poster goes on a tangent, which by the tone, seems to think it's very inspiring, and says no matter how you want to have sex (including only certain days of the week), you’re still straight! It’s so fucking condescending and gross to talk ace people out of their own identity like this.

“EVERY person who is heterosexual is different in how they perform or experience.”

Oh. My. GOD. THEY DIDN’T EVEN SAY STRAIGHT. THEY SAID HETEROSEXUAL. WUGGYUEGYUG. God help me. Can one be both bisexual and heterosexual? No…? Okay. So then. How is one both asexual AND heterosexual? What single brain cell in this poster’s head was responsible for this Chad of a sentence? I—

*deep breath* 

So. It’s interesting how the poster says “perform or experience it”. Asexuality is an identity. It is not a performance, and it is not defined by your actions. A straight person not having sex does not become asexual. And sure...people with the same label can experience their sexuality differently, but...to a point, guys. You can’t experience your sexuality out of the DEFINITION of the label. Heterosexual: Sexual attraction to the opposite gender. Asexual: Sexual attraction to no one. If a “heterosexual” isn’t sexually attracted to anyone, they are by definition, not heterosexual. It takes insane mental gymnastics to make this argument, so A for flexibility, I guess? 

“Gayness, straightness, and bisexuality are not defined by HOW you do or don’t want sex or HOW you do or don’t want to date, it’s just defined by WHO you want to be with.”

The first part of the sentence is correct, but it also defeats this person’s entire argument. Ace people AGREE with this. Being asexual is not the act of not having sex!! It’s not experiencing sexual attraction! You can google this! The second part of the sentence is mostly correct, depending on your interpretation. The issue is in part with the words the poster used: gayness, straightness and bisexuality. These words are not all equivalents. Gay could refer to sexual and or romantic orientation. Thus an ace gay person. Straightness is not actually an equal word to gayness. This is because straight is an exclusive term for a normative sexuality (in society’s eyes) in terms of sexual and romantic attraction. Some ace people DO call themselves straight, though it’s inaccurate. Ace people can be heteroromantic, but because being straight is so exclusive, you need to be both sexually AND romantically attracted to only the opposite gender.

The post basically ends telling ace people they’re all actually straight and were just confused the whole time. Lovely. And an erasure of gay aces too! Believe it or not, gay ace people do not like having their ace identities erased. Who’d have guessed?

Honestly, if anything this post is just kind of sad. A sad reflection of what people believe and how they truly do not see their own bigotry. They believe they’re freeing ace people from an incorrect label. They’re the heroes.

They’ll say “it’s okay, you’re not asexual” as if they've like...lifted a burden off of ace people. Like, “Oh, you think I’m not asexual? Cool, cool. Glad you cleared that up for me!” It’s sad how aphobes think, some very genuinely, that asexuality is just some high school party that went off the rails, and we’re all just coming out of the drunken haze, ready to go home. Ready to all laugh about it later, tease one another about how wild and silly it all was. 

Having your identity erased like this is fucking horrible, and I hope people like this can take a look in the mirror and see themselves clearly. All ace and aro people have a right to their identity, whether gay, bi, heteroromantic or anything else. End of story.

[fairyrosepetals]

Due to quarantine, I’ve been feeling pretty touch starved due to to the lack of hugs my friends and I would usually give each other.

Covid is a curse for naturally affectionate people like me :/

So enjoy some headcanons I wrote for some of our boys who had finally achieved the role of boyfriend!

Sweet home as types of boyfriends (M)

Hyun Cha

Hyun as a boyfriend gives me very chill/tired boyfriend vibes.

As in, he’s the kind of boyfriend who loves you softly. Someone who appreciates you in their own discreet way. Whether it be soft forehead kisses, or just very tight hugs.

Very relaxed dates. These dates would include laying on the couch cuddling, with rain pouring in the background.

Another date Idea would be just watching your favorite movies together in bed, eating your favorite snacks and candies.

His nicknames would include

Babe, babygirl/boy, love of my life, My light, Angel

His kisses are very hesitant and gentle, almost as if you’ll break or you’ll run away from him. Once you kiss him, and he knows you’re not going anywhere, his kisses become desperate, like you’ll disappear. Soon though, his kisses show how much he truly feels with you around :)

PDA doesn’t include a whole lot, mainly because he feels self conscious when he’s around someone as amazing as you. He feels like you deserve someone a lot better. Most likely just hand holding in public. However, in closed doors you bet you can get as many hugs and kisses as you want, whenever you want, 25/8

Now, at 18, you OBVIOUSLY don’t have a lot of money unless you’re rich. When it comes to gifts, I think he’d pay attention to your favorite foods, or maybe your current obsession, and base his gifts off that.

He LOVES to rant to you about Maria In The Sky!! Or just his hyperfixations in general when it isn’t Maria. Which isn’t likely. He gets this certain spark in his eyes when he talks about the things he’s interested in, which brings a certain life to him.

Now, depression DOES take a toll on people. This can leave a strain on relationships especially. If you’re willing to put in the extra effort, he would greatly appreciate it. He makes sure to show you his appreciation by making sure he ate a little extra more that day, made sure to change out into a new set of clothes, and overall just ways to show that he’s taking care of himself.

Overall, he loves you dearly, and greatly appreciates the love and support you give him. Trust me, he’s not letting you go any time soon.

Hyuk Lee

Hyuk as a boyfriend gives me very CHAOTIC vibes!!

He’s the kind of boyfriend to show his love by joking A LOT with you, with lots of teasing, playful name calling, and overall just rough housing.

There was definitely a moment where yall took roughhousing too far and you got bopped in the nose. Hyuk couldn’t bare to look you in the face after the many times you said you were fine.

Hyuk’s nicknames would include

Lemon cardboard Homie, Baby, Babe, Big head, DEFINITELY Megatron just to fuck with you

Hyuk’s kisses would be goofy and just kind of smiley, and maybe even a little sloppy. As in, he would be gently holding your face in his hands, but would be smiling or laughing as he tries to kiss you because he is just so unbelievably happy. This causes the kisses to definitely not be perfect, but they’re just filled with so much happiness that you can’t help but smile or laugh with him.

Just like Hyun, there isn’t a lot of PDA. Not because he’s self-conscious, mainly because he feels like you know how much he actually loves you without having to be too touchy in front of everyone. If you just so happen to want a kiss or maybe just hold hands, he’s all up for it. Just make sure to ask otherwise he will have no clue what you want.

Dates would include going to the arcade!! DEFINITELY would drag you over to that dancing game just to have an excuse to be closer to you!

Another date idea would just be 1 am trips to 7/11 and grabbing a slushee and your favorite snack, and maybe going to a remote area and laying on the hood of your car and go stargazing.

When it comes to dating Hyuk, you also gotta care for his sister. They are a PACKAGE DEAL. He understands that it’s a big responsibility to dump onto someone, but he’s responsible for her well-being. So if you don’t like her, that’s the ultimate deal breaker for Hyuk. If that’s not the case, he’ll be happy to see you two getting along.

Being a surrogate father for someone who was so young really puts a damper on your mentality. So just show your support for him, whether it be big or small. If you are quick to befriend Eun, his heart will warm at the sight of the two people he loves most enjoying each other’s company.

Ihyun Jo

Ihyun gives me very flirty/romantic boyfriend vibes. I say this due to his two personalities, which include his chaotic and more gentler side. I can see him being very flirty with an SO, that showers them in pick up lines that could make your face go red while also being sincerely romantic, enough to make you swoon from how sweet he’s being.

He’s the kind of boyfriend to hold your face in his hands, and gently cover your face in kisses or just stare lovingly into your eyes. This would also include whispering flirtatious comments in your ear, just to see you embarrassed from his words and make you blush.

With his flirty side, I can definitely see him as bit possessive, which can include possessive touches such as putting his hand on your waist or gently grabbing your chin to look at him when you look away.

Ihyun’s nicknames would include

Baby, hot stuff, princess/prince, Angel, wifey/hubby

Ihyun’s kisses can go two different ways depending on his current mood. The 1st way is sweet and sincere, where his kisses are soft and filled with such warmth and love. This creates such a loving feeling, where he carefully holds your face in his hands and treats you with gentleness. The 2nd way is his kisses feeling lustful, and a little rough. Though, this only means his kisses are firey and more passionate, holding you close by your waist as you wrap your arms around his neck.

DEFINITELY PDA. He is VERY touchy. Not in a way to make others around you uncomfortable, but more like he always has to be touching you in some way to ground himself. This includes hand holding, putting a hand on your waist or around your neck. When it’s just you two, it’s almost like he’s a second shadow, always carding a hand through your hair or just hugging you and resting his chin atop your head.

In more normal settings, I can definitely see him taking you out on the classic amusement park date. I’m talking rollercoasters, obviously rigged carnival games, cotton candy, and of course, the classic Ferris wheel ride.

Of course, I gotta throw in a classic beach date too. He is DEFINITELY the type of boyfriend to throw you into the sea, ONLY IF YOU ARE OKAY WITH IT AND CAN SWIM THO. If not, he is totally cool with just annoying you by splashing, or just overall being a general nuisance. Definitely has a soft spot for building sand castles with you :)

He may have the occasional sarcastic comment to share or just be annoying just to bug you, but he really does love you. He knows having MPD makes things harder in a relationship, but he appreciates you helping him when it comes to medication, episodes, and other ailments that occur. If there are types when he feels sad, he would love nothing more than to just lay on the couch, and rest his head in your lap as you run your hand through his hair.

Jayhun

Jayhun DEFINITELY strikes me as a SOFT BOYFRIEND. An ANGEL BOYFRIEND. A man you can DEPEND on. HUSBAND MATERIAL.

When I say soft, I mean he just absolutely SHOWERS you in love. You NEVER go a day without at least one hug or kiss, because he wants you to know how much he truly loves you. He’s the kind of boyfriend to do classic, gentlemanly things such as open doors for you, sit you down and scoot your chair in for you, and overall just be a sweetheart.

His dates would most likely be more domestic. I could definitely see him as doing the classic at home dinner date, being in the kitchen and cooking your favorite food, or if you like going out to eat more, definitely a restaurant on the nicer side. Being a teacher can leave him a bit busy sometimes, so he’s not opposed to just ordering take out, putting on a movie, and just enjoying your company as you lean against him. :)

Jayhun’s nicknames include

Sweetheart, honey, darling, love, angel

Jayhun’s kisses are the epitome of sweet and warm. Of course, he would only kiss you if he asked and made sure you were okay with it. If you said yes, he would make sure to hold you close, whether it be gently holding your face in his hands, or just placing his hands on your hips, he makes sure to put all his love into each kiss.

When it comes to PDA, he definitely strikes me as old fashioned. You know those elderly couples that have been married for 50+ years and STILL act like they’re in their honeymoon phase? That’s you and Jayhun. Kisses on the cheek, hand holding, brushing hair out of your face, and just staring at you with so much love that catching him can make you feel how strong his love is for you.

There are times when he’s forgotten to take lunch, so being the greatest SO ever, you make sure to bring it to him at school. His students LOVE YOU. They can’t believe their teacher bagged someone as great as you, and constantly bug Jayhun about you and when you’ll come visit again. They have a bet on how long it will take to get him to propose.

A bouquet of your favorite flowers, your favorite candies, and even just writing little sticky notes in places you see them before he goes to work, he just wants you to know he will always love and appreciate you no matter what.

I want to say that because of his religion, he kinda hopes you share the same beliefs as him. However, he is not opposed if you don’t, he still loves you all the same. In fact, if you follow a totally different religion, I feel like he would be interested in learning what your practices are, and how he could make you feel more welcomed during your relationship. 💕

Wook Pyeon

“My boyfriend can kick your ass” HELLA vibes from this man.

When I say this, I mean he’s very protective of you, and is even afraid to be in your presence half the time due to his height and build. He’s the kind of boyfriend to benchpress you for a work out, but also the kind of boyfriend to get flustered when you kiss his forehead.

There’s no fuckin way you could reach his height unless you’re THAT TALL, but if you do, he’s more likely to be less careful around you, and be more willing to hold you close to him and not be afraid of accidentally hurting you. If you’re a SHORTY?? Like me then this poor man is on pins and needles. Even if you’re tough, this man is afraid of hurting you and will never forgive himself if his elbow whacked you in the forehead.

Shorty protector

Dates with Wook Pyeon consist of constantly patching him up when he’s injured. Seriously, does this man never have a bruise on his body? If he’s not injured, he’s definitely stressed or very tense, and would not be opposed to taking a warm bath with you. Not even to have sex, but more just to make your hair into a giant spike with soap, or have bubble beards that leave you holding your stomachs from laughter. Just wholesome goofing off. :)

Wook’s nicknames would include

Honey, baby, babe, sweetheart, *shorter rendition of your name*, little shit (If you’re a menace to him constantly)

I feel like this man’s kisses can vary. Though the one thing they have in common, is that he makes sure that you know that he loves you. They can range from quick “Gotta go to work” kisses, to kisses that make you melt from the amount of love you feel from them. Even if maybe that moment you two have fought and he suddenly has to go, and if you’ll let him of course, he’ll make sure to give you the sweetest kiss he can muster. Dealing with criminals can be dangerous, and he would never want to go to work and have something happen, knowing you both left angry at one another.

PDA for him is hesitant. It’s not that he doesn’t like it, but he gets very shy and flustered about it. If you hold his hand while he’s talking to someone, his brain will start to malfunction and his face will slowly turn a shade of pink. This includes kisses anywhere on his face, or just a small kiss to his knuckles while holding his hand. In other words, for a big guy like himself, he is quite timid when it comes to initiating PDA.

He may be a little rough around the edges, but he tries his best to be romantic. Though, he tends to do it in more smaller ways. Working in the police force has unreasonable hours, so lots of little sticky notes around the house with cute love notes, little heart doodles, and just overall tiny reminders are his love language, or just making you a quick breakfast and storing it for later before leaving to work.

When he gets laid off, please do your best not to be angry with him. If it turns out he was the only one to be bringing money on the table for your own reasons, he would be so disappointed in himself for not being able to support you. If it turns out he now has to rely on you and your job, he would feel as if he’s a leech while you work harder until he can find a new source of income, so please reassure him that everything will be alright.

He of course, will do his own fair share of chores around the house in order to relieve the work load off of you.

When it comes to smoking, that is definitely a problem. Even if you don’t mind it, secondhand smoking can greatly affect your health as well. If you are an asthmatic, he definitely will try to quit for you. Even if you aren’t, it eventually dawns on him that his smoking is slowly hurting you, and doesn’t want you to be breathing that gunk in. It will be a hard journey, but just support him and keep him in check for the transition, and he’ll do his best to keep you happy and out of harm’s way.

[fancytrinkets]

writing tag game

Thank you for tagging me @johaeryslavellan!

How many works do you have on Ao3?

31

What's your total Ao3 wordcount?

246,241

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

The top 4 are Good Omens fic followed by one Dragon Age 2 fic from years ago: 

The Angel Line (humor) (Aziraphale/Crowley) 

The Naked Truth (humor) (Aziraphale/Crowley) 

Obliviate (romance, bittersweet, happy ending) (Aziraphale/Crowley) 

The Last Battle (humor) (Aziraphale/Crowley) 

In Good Hands (humor) (FHawke/Varric)

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I didn’t used to respond to every comment back when I started posting, but now I reply to everything. I just love the whole commenting process. I like talking about the world I’m writing in with other people who love it, too. I am always SO EXCITED to see the (1) notification for my ao3 inbox. And it is unbearably wonderful to see a (2), (3), or more at a time. I’ve noticed I’m usually equally excited if it’s a comment on my fic or a reply to a comment I’ve left on someone else’s fic. (Sometimes I experience a mix of appreciation and disappointment when it’s a new comment for me if I’m expecting a reply back from another writer about their fic. That’s such a strange feeling and I wonder sometimes if other people get that, too.)

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

Oh, I don’t really do angst. And probably that’s not what people want from me anyway, judging by how many of my top fics are humorous.

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

I mean they all have some degree of happy ending, so I’m not sure how to measure them against each other. For some of them, the happy ending is also a ‘happy ending’ if you know what I mean..

Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you've written?

I don’t. Unless you count the silly stories my friends and I wrote for each other in high school? We definitely had some X-Files, Lord of the Rings, vampire universes intersecting with each other, but I can’t really remember a lot of that because I was 15 then and now I am 40.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

I haven’t. I’m very glad about that. 

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Oh, yes I do. It’s the loving, vanilla kind mostly. I am willing to read more adventurously than I’m interested in writing.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

No. I mean I hope! If I have, I haven’t realized it!

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! A bunch of my Good Omens fic has been translated into German and Russian, which is so cool. I love that people translate fics. I can’t read either of those languages, so I can’t personally vouch for how the translations turned out in terms of mood and tone and pacing with the word choices used, but that’s part of the beauty of being in fandom spaces where everyone is coming in with their own talents to share and develop. Translation is an art that needs to be practiced and no two translators will approach a work the same way. 

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I have not, though it was something I was interested in — and seriously considering — with a wonderful, talented Good Omens writing friend before I kind of lost all my steam for Good Omens writing.

What's your all time favourite ship?

Whatever ship I’m into at any give time. So that means right now it’s Dorian/MTrevelyan from Dragon Age, but who knows what it’s going to be in 5 or 10 years...

What's a WIP you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

Oh, I have a Good Omens fic set in 1885 that stalled out because I was doing too much research and not enough writing. I’m not sure if I want to finish it, though. I just put a lot of outlining and drafting time into it. And then I just lost momentum. I doubt I’ll ever come back to that and I’m okay with it. 

What are your writing strengths?

I’m good at dialogue. I also think I’m good at keeping an eye on the pacing at the scene level — speeding things up when I need to, slowing things down when it’s called for. And I am REALLY good at editing. I don’t hang onto stuff that doesn’t fit just because I like it. I have removed thousands and thousands of words of writing I really love just because it’s not quite where things need to go. I find that fun. I always save what I cut and sometimes reuse it later.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Sometimes I really struggle with character voice. While dialogue is a strength in general, that same thing can be really tough when I’m not hearing the voice of certain characters the way I’d like to. I also think a potential weakness is how I don’t like putting characters through deeply traumatic experiences. I like caretaking and treating the characters I write with gentleness. It’s deeply enjoyable for me, though perhaps it’s not always what makes a story satisfying. 

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I don’t do it. My native language is English and my two learned languages —Spanish and French — are so long abandoned that it would be difficult to get any of it back. So I tend not to include other languages because I don’t have that expertise. When I’m reading a fic in English — because that’s all I can read well — I always appreciate footnotes with translations for the parts in a different language. I don’t tend to have the sustained focus to go back, copy-paste, and Google translate everything. So anything that isn’t translated in a footnote is just content I miss. That’s totally fine if the writer isn’t writing it for me — if they want to add extra layers of meaning for multilingual people. But if the writer wants everyone to know, then please, yes, put the footnote in!

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

The X-Files with my friends in high school, but while there was an internet back then, none of us had connected computers, so these were just stories we wrote for each other.

What's your favourite fic you've written?

I don’t know if I can pick one! I like most of what I write even years later, but I don’t know how to stack them against each other. Some are serious while others are funny, and even cracky — some stick close to canon, while some are deeply transformative and weird. They all feel so different to me. 

Right now I am really enjoying my Dragon Age Inquisition work-in-progress, Bold Indeed, a Trevelyan/Dorian romance that deals with: love, friendship, loss, gentleness, justice, what we owe each other (yes, I thinking of you, Chidi from The Good Place), what it means to become a ‘good’ murderer as part of your job, how easy it can be to fit within authoritarian structures, how difficult it can be to push against and overturn an established order, the inadequacy of kindness — but also the potentially transformative power of kindness. And all of that is tucked into the story of a mature and gentle romance between two people who are each going through a process of personal growth and change. Anyway, it’s a weird writing project, but I love it despite my occasional anxieties about whether I am a deeply bad person (hah, yes, I know how that sounds, but I also feel it seriously sometimes). 

[halinski]

Day 5 of @sterekweek-2020 and @acesterek week! Loved this one bc I've always been DYING to include Shakespeare in my fic(let)s!! Haha

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"Love is a smoke made with the fume of sighs," Stiles says, seeing as he steps up to the LGBTQ Club's club room just in time to catch Derek's sigh. Let it be recorded that he's a dramatic bitch. In his defense, this is Derek fucking Hale standing in front of his clubhouse, seeming deliberating if he should enter. Hopefully.

Hope is a dangerous thing but oh, how Stiles loves the thrill.

Derek only seems to stiffen when he turns to look at Stiles, all doe-eyed.

"I- uh… what?" The older boy stammers and Stiles feels the heat rise to his cheeks. Sometimes he forgets not everyone is a drama and history geek. And even if they are, people don't usually go about spouting Shakespeare quotes. Stiles' friends are used to it but Derek is, regrettably, a jock. Then again, jocks have their own profitable sides.

Stiles shakes it all off with a wave of his hand.

"Nevermind me! This is just a thing I do. Classic Stiles. That's me. Stiles," he blurts out and thrusts his hand towards Derek, which he instantly regrets because since when do jocks shake hands?

He marches on, turning to the door and stepping through. Stiles lifts his arms.

"Welcome to my kingdom! Well, it's not my kingdom, unfortunately. I wish I could be king, even if it were just over a room for a limited amount of time but what I mean to say, this is the LGBTQ+ Club Tuesdays and Thursdays at 4:15 till we get kicked out and I am the president of the club, so here we are." He's halfway into the room when he notices Derek has only taken two steps in and then stopped.

"Unless you're not here for that, which is totally cool too," he quickly adds. It's a lie, but hey, he doesn't want to scare the boy off.

"No." Derek says, cautiously taking another step forward but still looking wildly out of place and uncomfortable. "I mean, yes, I am here for that… not something else."

Poor guy almost looks like he's about to faint and Stiles wishes he could do something to make him feel more at ease.

"I'm uh, Derek Hale," he says and Stiles almost lets out a snort.

"Yeah, I know… you are the school's superstar after all, everyone kinda knows your name. Must be super weird, huh? But dude, seriously, everyone here is super chill so don't worry about it. No one's going to call you out or force you to do anything." Stiles smiles as he dumps his backpack on the desk next to the couch and starts pulling out some of his newest gatherings, new stickers mostly, and the usual pins and flags.

"Feel free to look around and basically do whatever you want, if you want. I'm always here early but not many other people are, so you've got about another 10-ish to 20 minutes before people start filing in if you just want the space to yourself," Stiles continues. He chances a glance over at Derek and notices him still standing awkwardly in the middle of the room. Leaning back on the desk, Stiles braces his arms behind him.

"Sorry, I know I talk a lot. Everyone complains about it. But on the plus side, I can answer any and all questions you might have. Nothing is off limits, I promise you, so I'm here at your disposal."

Derek's eyes bore into his and suddenly Stiles questions every single decision he has made in his life ever. A sharp pain in his lips draws his attention to his nervous lip biting. Embarrassing.

"Do you know all of Shakespeare's stuff by heart?" Derek then asks, slowly sauntering closer.

Stiles opens his mouth but his brain is slow to process the quite personal question which has nothing to do with queerness whatsoever. Or well..

"Okay, fair. Shakespeare's pretty gay. Very gay actually, even though they won't teach you that in class, no siree. But anyway, no, I don't know everything. I'd need like a superbrain for that. Wish I could though, that'd be pretty awesome."

"Shakespeare's gay?" Derek asks and if Stiles isn't mistaken there's a smile slowly showing on his face, next to the perpetual look of astonishment.

"Oh, yeah, dude. Like, super gay. You must have heard by now that there's so many dick jokes in his texts. Like, in the plays, oh man. I have most of those memorized, by the way. And I can assure you that those dick references are not all just about pleasuring the ladies," Stiles replies. He's kind of tripping over here. Hello, he's talking to Derek Hale about dick jokes, and yeah, his hopes are way across and over the rainbow by now.

"Maybe that's why I try so hard to rise to his image, I wanna be the best bi can be." He can't help it. It's always a relieving rush to advertise his queerness. Thankfully, Derek's looking more and more relaxed and not like he's going to flee any second.

"That's the middle pin there, right?" Derek gestures to Stiles' backpack, which proudly sports multiple flags and queer quotes and images. One of the biggest one of course, is the big flag.

He beams back at Derek. "Yup, that's the one. That's me."

It's hard to resist asking the beautiful raven-haired boy if he has any interest in the same sex, too, but Stiles manages to keep his mouth shut. This is going too well for him to wreck. He wants Derek to come back, after all.

The butterflies do run rampant all throughout him, from his toes and all the way up to his fingertips and nose, when Derek directs that crooked smile of his at him.

"What about the other big one next to it?" Derek continues, glancing back to the backpack.

This is where Stiles hesitates just for a second but calms his panicking heart with iron-willed resolve.

"That's the ace flag. Asexual pride, that is." He feels ready to vibrate out of his skin, waiting for Derek's reaction. He's never been this scared of a rejection or attack, but then again, he hasn't crushed on someone this hard since Lydia in 3rd grade which basically just ended up being admiration and wonderful friendship.

"I think I read about that," Derek says thoughtfully, eyes still glued to the backpack.

Might they have that in common? Stiles' heart beats so loud he's sure Derek can hear it.

"So, maybe not as big of a fan of dick jokes as Shakespeare?" Derek then says casually, in that uber cool way of his, backpack hanging over one shoulder and hands in his pockets. It's the last thing Stiles expects, and he blinks- before bursting out with a laugh.

"Okay fine, you got me there," Stiles says with a remaining chuckle.

Derek grins at him.

Stiles totally does not melt. He doesn't. Nope. No sir.

"You're robbing me of my dreams here, Hale," Stiles quips. "What, are you coming for my position as president here next?"

"Well… you are only a freshman, right? Which is both kind of curious and terrifying…"

"Oh, I will fight you for the position. You can take my word for it," Stiles warns.

This is the end of the world, folks. You heard it here first. Stiles is bantering with Derek Hale. Reality is about to shift and collapse…

"I guess for now I'll just- I think I'll stay for today's meeting," Derek says, with a slight nervous shift in his posture, but an oh so adorable smile.

"Awesome, dude," is the best thing Stiles can say without making a total and utter fool of himself.

Reality might just be exploding and expanding I to a whole new world.

[pantstomatch]

I love your writing, and (the cliche, it burns) one day I'd like to publish too. But a lot of things have changed since the last time I was confident in trying to do this, and I wondered if you would talk about the process (getting an agent, that sort of thing) if you're comfortable and have the time. It's also cool if you privately respond, if you'd prefer, I'm just trying to figure out how to get started again? And so many tips are "publish on Amazon!"

Thank you!!!! Okay, so here’s the thing. I’m probably not the best person to ask about this, because I’m actually really bad at being published, but I can tell you some stuff that I’ve learned? That might be helpful? I ended up being long-winded, so (if tumblr works right here) everything is under the cut...

1. Querying!

So in general, querying sucks balls. Like… it’s probably the worst thing you’ll ever have to do. You’re gonna want to research what agents are looking for the kind of stuff you want to write or have written. Some are looking for certain genres or what they think is marketable, and you want to send your query to someone who’s open to what you have, or it’s a waste. Most likely the agency website or the agents “I’m looking for…” page or whatever will give you specific instructions on what to include in your query email - how the subject should be written, what they’re looking for, how many pages of your manuscript they want to see, how to attach it to the email and in what form, and if they want a synopsis of your novel. Some agents use Query Manager, which is basically a form you fill out and attach all the things they want, and you can go back in and edit it and it’s a nice way to keep track of your query. Next, they’re gonna (hopefully; some just never respond) either say no thank you very politely, or ask you for the full manuscript. Most of these agents will also give you a general timeline for a response, and if they’re open to a nudge from you or not. After that, they’ll either say no to the full manuscript, or welcome you aboard!  

Most places allow you to send multiple queries out for the same work, meaning they’re not “exclusive,” except within their own agency. If they ask for a full manuscript, but before they get back to you, another agent has snapped you up, they’ll want you to let them know so they don’t waste their time on it. Occasionally, if they want to see your full manuscript, they’ll ask for you to not send the full manuscript to someone else until they’re done, or for you to tell them if someone else is looking at the full manuscript. You can also change your mind!  You can email them and let them know you’ve decided to pull the novel out of consideration, maybe if you think it needs more editing.

I have never successfully queried. I found the whole thing demoralizing, and I did my first contract on my own, without an agent. This is something I don’t recommend because I had to figure out a lot of confusing shit on my own that I still don’t fully understand. And it also made me doubt my writing after the fact, because agents don’t give a shit if you’re already published, they’re focused solely on whatever you’re presenting them with. And then after that, I figured if I got another book out of my current editor, would I want to present that to the people who already didn’t like my writing? I have an agent for another project I’m working on, and the only reason I have her is because someone introduced us and told her I desperately needed help.

1a. So you found the agent(s) you think you like!

Other than the instructions/guidelines written out by the agency/agents that you’re interested in, you’re gonna need the most complete and fully edited version of your novel in hand. If they ask for your full manuscript, you absolutely should not say it’s not done. Make sure it’s finished, and preferably edited, before you send your query in. If they ask for a synopsis, hard pass. Ha ha ha, just kidding. No, really, arguably, this is going to be the hardest thing to write. A synopsis will suck your soul out of your body and make you weep blood. The only thing worse than querying is writing a synopsis for that query. I have never written a synopsis that I didn’t think was utter shit. I hate them.

Querytracker is a cool place to look up agents that you want to query and see how responsive (and nice) they are. It took me a little bit to figure out the abbreviations, though.

2. Pick your genre carefully

Unless you are a best selling author, they are never ever ever going to let you change genres. I mean, maybe if you wrote under a different name. Maybe. But they’ve bought your book based on how they think it will sell, and they’re going to want to sell you, too, and genre jumping is usually a no-go. This is, basically, one of the biggest things I hate, and one of the greatest things I love about fanfiction, that I can write whatever the fuck I feel like writing. So, you know, make sure you really really really want to write about what your first book is going to be about, because you’re going to be writing about that forever.  And I don’t mean just YA vs New Adult vs Adult, although you need to take that into account too. I mean if you’re writing about high school regular kids, you probably can’t write about supernatural high school kids. You can’t write about high school kids in space. You can only write about regular high school kids. So.. think sci -fi vs fantasy vs historical vs contemporary, etc.

3. I hope you don’t hate people!

Do you want to go to a bookstore and talk in front of a crowd? Do you want to go to cons and network with other authors? Do you want to call up publications and volunteer for interviews? Do you want to talk about your books with strangers?  Because I sure don’t.  Publishing houses do the bare minimum of publicity for you for your book. First book, they’ll probably help set up some store signings. Going forward, if you weren’t proactive the first time around, they’re probably not going to do anything. If you’ve got some really good advance reviews, they’ll do ads. They’ll probably do the rote social media posts. But basically, you’re going to have to advocate for your book. You’re going to have to create your own brand. You’re going to have to make swag and send it out, call up bookstores, post constantly about it on twitter, buddy up to other authors, go places where you can network. And I will tell you that all of that is my nightmare. I don’t want to do any of that. I don’t like meeting new people. I had several panic attacks leading up my book signing, and the book signing itself was pretty bad. I’m just… not good with people. And, honestly, at my age, I don’t want to be any better. All it does is give me stress and hives, and to get over that I’d really really have to want to do it.

4. Personal perks?

Editors!  I’ve worked with two awesome editors, and it’s amazing having someone to tell you how to fix things in a way that makes sense. By far, one of the only perks of being published for me. I absolutely don’t know for sure, but I always got the feeling that they expected more push back from me with their suggestions, but nope. I was open to everything, and that’s probably why the books worked so well, because editors absolutely know what they’re doing and only want what’s best for the book.

Holding a solid book of my work!  Always awesome to hold that first book in your hands, with the beautiful cover work and everything. The fact that other people can read it and know it was me who wrote those words only counters that by about a half.  

Money! Advances vary drastically, but, listen, the money kind of made the panic attacks worth it. A little.

5. Advances and royalties

The things I’ve read about advances is that too little, and you might think they have less confidence in you, and too much and you’re panicking about selling, because if you don’t earn out your advance, there’s a chance they won’t want to invest in you in the future. Generally, the way they work is they offer you a contract with the amount they are willing to “advance” you. This is basically saying, we think this book will give us this amount of money, and this is your share of that amount of money. You earn this out with royalties. When you sign the contract, you will get a certain amount of money, usually half of your offered advance. When you deliver the finished manuscript, after your editor and you have gone over it and it’s been approved, you’ll get the other half. A two book deal would be split into 4 parts, and you’d get the first 2 parts for signing the contract (1/4th for each book), the next part for the first finished manuscript, and then the last part for the second finished manuscript, generally after the first book is already published. After that, you won’t see any money until your royalties reach the amount they already paid you in advance. Unless otherwise negotiated, you’d get a royalty check twice a year.  Your earnings from January to July would be sent to you in October, and your earnings for July to December would be sent to you in April. Since any books sold to bookstores and online stores can be returned to the publisher if unsold, they will usually “hold back” a certain amount at first, to make sure you’re really earning that royalty. Royalty statements themselves are a hot mess and I’ve never been able to read them, which is also a good reason to have an agent. An agent will get your money sent to them, make sure it’s the correct amount, take their cut, and then send you a check from them.

6. Self publishing

Okay, I know nothing about self publishing, but I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it if you have the right support system (ie editors). If you’re going to have to do a lot of the marketing yourself anyway, I don’t see how this is much different. Biggest thing would be the upfront cost, and making sure you make that cost worth it.  Independent author S Usher Evans has some good advice for self publishing - Sush’s worked very hard at it, and started her own publishing company. Also, @qwanderer might be a good resource, I think they use Lulu, which is a really cool self publishing site.

Uhhhh, so that’s a lot of info and also not a lot of info, so please feel free to ask me anything else, and I really hope I haven’t made this harder for you to get started ha ha ha. I think the best thing to do is to figure out what you want to write and write it and just… go from there. If you really love what you have, someone else is going to love it, too.

And if anyone’s had a different experience or thinks I got something wrong or has more/better advice for @heyninja, let me know!

[alovevigilante]

(This monologue can be performed with a normal breathing pattern, cause the message is important and should be emphasized accordingly.)

When I was younger I didn’t know from a gay person. I went to a small school, where that wasn’t mentioned. It wasn’t a part of the curriculum in schools in the 80s as it is now. So, when I heard the word, “gay” being used in society it had an entirely different definition from the meaning it takes on today. When I used to use the word “gay” when I was a kid in sentences back in the day to communicate, it was usually to say that something was “uncool”. But that’s grade school for ya. That’s why you’re there when you’re younger, to learn better.

But now at 46, out of school for many years, and after having witnessed, and after getting to know people who define themselves, and identify as “gay” I realize that they are some of the coolest people on this planet. And “gay”, in my new definition, is very very very very (meaning emphasis on very) cool. Cause gay is colorful, all colors, and vibrant. Gay is bright, and fierce. Gay is creative, and brave. And gay is a term to explain certain people’s authenticity; showing themselves to the world honestly, and not afraid to profess and show their love openly.

Being gay is not the issue. The issue is recognizing that all people, no matter who they choose to love, are of LOVE, AND Love is where it’s at! It, in this case, its the feeling of belonging, sharing joy, experiencing happiness. It’s world peace first starting from your internal, individual worldview, and then the world around you. But it starts by leaving the judgement at the door. Because the person that feels the judgement first, is you. And others feel it, if they choose to allow it to affect them. If you don’t like something, and it’s not for you, then don’t do it. We will all be happier by allowing everyone the opportunity to be themselves too, without condemnation, and dipping in others business which isn’t our own. Being responsible for how you feel if we want to stay happy, should be our primary goal. And that’s a big enough job without getting into other people’s lives.

I also forgot to mention, that if you’re at the point in this monologue where you’re not only judging the gays, but you’re judging me for loving and supporting the gays because we’re all human and made of love, please feel free to include yourself in that love. It will help to lift your spirits if you do. Cause when we judge others, we all feel the exclusion. And feeling excluded doesn’t feel good. So please don’t choose a life without love. Choose a more inclusive mindset. Ok? I’ll answer that. Yes it IS ok!

I’m not ok with judgements or hate, cause it hurts the whole of us as a human race. Cause we are all fundamentally the same. Take biology 101 for example. Like the late astronomer, planetary scientist, cosmologist, astrophysicist, astrobiologist, author, and science communicator, Carl Sagan used to say, “we are all made of star stuff.” But the point is, the SAME stuff! Water, skin, muscle, bone and organs… But listen, all science aside, we all have a fundamental need to feel loved, and to belong, no matter how much we fight it sometimes.

Internalizing love, and acting on that inspiration toward all people is needed to change the world in a positive way. And I’M DOWN wIth THAT!!!!!

(Please emphasize the word, “THAT”... say it fast in one syllable, and also, that’s why the “with” in the last sentence, is tiny...)

Let me repeat, I AM DOWN, MEANING in FULL SUPPORT of, the LOVE, and of the GAY NATION because gay people are a part of the whole of who we are as a human race! And no matter how hard one may try, no person is excluded from that. So make it a loving experience.

(Ok, back to a more neutral energy, and for me, that’s not saying much)

So, fellow humans, I’m now also coming out of the closet, to say, that I am extremely JEALOUS in a great way of the gays! (Including the lesbians, cause they’re also under that umbrella term) Because I think they’re AWESOME, and I support them 100%, and I strive to be as cool as they are!!!! Ok?!?! Yeah! It is!!!! So there!!!!! And also, because I love them dearly... 🙈🤷‍♀️💕☺️🥰

*For those of you who read all the way through to judge and rip on my writing, you clearly have missed the point entirely. I chose being gay as a group to use as an example in this case, but sub in any race, and creed, and gender or any group that has been discriminated against at one time or another throughout the history of humanity, and you can get the same result. (Although they are a part of the whole of humanity, hate groups are excluded in this case because, because A. They have excluded themselves with their fear-based, loveless choice of behavior by treating all people as the enemy, and also because some people refuse to sway from their hardened beliefs and B. I’m focusing solely on groups that embrace a loving energy, and don’t wish to harm others.) We are all human. We have all experienced things that have alienated us, and make us feel excluded, no matter how accepted we seem to be outwardly. And we miss out on a lot of wonderful people by excluding them due to our own judgements.

My point of all this writing? To unite people, in human emotions, by my deliberate choice of energy. My message is clear, if you choose to be open enough to glean it. But for those who aren’t, here’s the deal: yes, I am fully aware that my writing isn’t normal. The tactics I use, are unorthodox because it’s a way to get everyone reading on the same side. I’m over separation.

I experiment to try to figure out ways to eradicate the loveless energy. I guess I’m starting to realize that I can’t do it alone. So, some say “choose love”. “Love matters” “Inclusion matters” and it does. But unless we make a conscious effort to change the way we approach our societal norms i.e. comedy, music, entertainment in general, commercialism, big business, government, how we treat one another in our daily lives, and the treatment we accept from others and ourselves, nothing will. The sooner we can internalize that, the better. I guess that’s why I feel that starting with changing myself is the best way to it. You see, I mention all of those things, because they have the biggest platform to influence people. They also have the ability to persuade. If that isn’t utilized for a positive result for all people, we get what we essentially have now; an uneven exchange. And life isn’t fair? That shit, is old school mentality. Life can be anything we want it to be. And that’s the truth. We just have to decide to adjust it.

It’s not easy for me to fully accept myself for some reason. I’m having great difficulty sometimes maintaining a loving outlook. When I judge myself like this. I feel like there must be something fundamentally wrong with me. But there isn’t. We all feel this way from time to time. What I think about me, is what I need to focus on. Because what I feel about everything, comes from that very place. I act according to how I feel. Point blank. When I’m not consciously trying to think differently, cause I’ve been conditioned by myself to think in a fearful way, I also get just as wrapped up in the upset of the outside world as everyone else does, and I feel that life is insurmountable, and that nothing can change from how I’m seeing it at that moment in time. It takes a change in my thinking, my perception, the union of me now, not me from the past focusing on what was and how I didn’t enjoy the experience. It will take the union of me changing my mind about what I observe to make the change. I can’t hold onto the past hurts, and expect a positive change in result of my now or my future. All I can do, is redefine my past, and lose the loveless energy. That will be enough to keep me busy for quite some time.

That’s why I write. I write to cheer myself up. I write to amuse myself. I write to clear out the cobwebs of my past I have in my head, and try to accept where I am now. I write to move myself forward in a peaceful and loving existence. I write to feel better, period. Doesn’t always work. Sometimes I find that being a loving person isn’t the easiest choice, especially when you’re living in your head in past hurts. So, all of this experimentation i do with my own energy is a process that I’m willing to share with whom ever, whatever the consensus may be. My love for me and the love I have for all people is growing, and with it so is my recognition of the dissonance that is us as a human race. That is also being highlighted intensely.

I guess my point is, I understand fully that the change can’t come from just one person to affect the whole. Well, essentially it could, but it’s unlikely due to our vast majority of differences. But, if I change and affect the people in my life positively, that chain reaction could be like a pandemic of love, instead of disease. We can all affect one another, and be infected, by the love virus. Let’s choose to laugh together more often, let’s be together in love as we feel comfortable doing so, let’s stop all the things that aren’t loving to ourselves and others. Let’s decide both individually and together. Let’s choose to “be the change we want to see in the world.” (mahatma gandhi.) And let’s “be the ones to make it different.” (Me, Kari Keillor)

(Please sub the energy of pandemic and fear for the energy of love traveling the world and affecting it positively.)

“so it goes.” -Kurt Vonnegut.

[readyplayerhobi]

Flower | 02

; Hoseok x Reader

; Genre: Fluff, angst, future smut

; Word Count: 1.9k

; Warnings: Talk of anxiety, depression, self-hatred

; Synopsis: You finally decide to take a dip into the world of online dating and find the Flower dating app. One of the top matches for you proves to be a guy who looks to be your complete opposite; tattooed, pierced, a metalhead and oh…incredibly handsome. What happens when you throw caution to the wind and reach out to him?

; A/N: Yes this is posted fast but it’s obviously not long. As said, this is a drabble series so it may be posted fast, it may be posted slow. It’s purely when I feel inspired by it. Thank you for the love I’ve had on the first part! I never expected people to like it so much. Please note that this is a slice of life fic that will deal with the MC having a lot of issues around herself including anxiety, depression, lack of self-confidence and more. I’ll put relevant warnings, but this fic is basically me helping myself by writing out some of my feelings. If you enjoy reading it, please reblog and comment to let me know! Again, I haven’t proof read lol

Flower Masterpost

-

Your phone screen is mocking you, you swear it is. The brightly lit screen clearly shows the Flower app message box, which clearly shows the series of messages that you’d exchanged with one seriously, outrageously attractive Jung Hoseok.

And it made you cringe, shrinking further down your seat as you pushed your face into the impossibly soft material of the cat plush you kept on your couch. As if somehow, that might make all your embarrassment disappear.

Because you have never regretted your social anxiety and inability to make small talk more than you do right now. You found it impossible to talk to people normally if you didn’t have a common interest, the conversation often dying down quickly as you struggled to maintain it but that was heightened with text messages.

Your own friends were well aware of this, which meant that no one ever bothered to call or text you to talk. Instead, they simply texted to ask when you were free and then came over or invited you out. You were very much one of those people who just operated best when you were comfortable with the person and could maintain a face-to-face connection.

Which was why you were now seriously regretting setting up this app. Groaning, you let your head fall back onto the couch and restrain the urge to have a childish hissy fit. Because it would be childish. Relieving, but childish.

“Why did I think this would be a good idea? You know you don’t like talking on the phone or by message, you idiot.” You hiss to yourself, grabbing the phone from the arm of the sofa and unlocking it once more.

Re-reading the messages just makes you want to shrink even more. It’s been an hour since Hoseok had first responded to you, and the messages were painful. In fact, it made you want to cry reading them over and how bad you were at conversing. You were trying so hard but you just didn’t know what to say or do.

You: Oh, thanks for responding! I’m okay, how are you?

Jung Hoseok: I’m good, just got in from a gig. You done anything interesting?

You: No, I worked and then just came home

Jung Hoseok: Okay...what did you do when you came home?

You: Watched Netflix

Jung Hoseok: ...what did you watch? Anything cool?

You: Not really

You: I’m watching this Korean drama, The K2

Jung Hoseok: Cool

The conversation died for ten minutes after that and as usual, you’d stressed over what you’d messaged him. It read so stilted and awkward, leading to you grasping at a topic to further talk with him. How did these things normally work? Was he expecting sex if you’d messaged him? Or did he want something more? Was it okay to ask him?

You’d struggled for a few minutes more before you’d finally sent something else to him, resulting in another series of lame messages that had you resenting yourself while also being thankful that he didn’t just give up on you entirely.

You: Who did you go see? Anyone I might know?

Jung Hoseok: Mmm, maybe? Do you know Disturbed?

You: ...no?

Jung Hoseok: Do you listen to any metal?

You: also no :(

Jung Hoseok: Ahhh...you wouldn’t know them then

You: Did you enjoy it though?

Jung Hoseok: Yeah! They’re great live. You should maybe try it, you might like them…

And that was where the conversation had stunted itself, leading to you simply staring at your phone and wishing that you were someone else. Someone who was great at talking and would be able to keep the flow going between him and you. Because he was evidently nice, willing to keep talking even though you were proving to have the socialisation skills of a baby.

Staring at your phone, you bit your lip and rested your head in the palm of your hand, elbow resting on your thigh as tears warmed your eyes. You wished that you could be someone better, someone who didn’t have to psychoanalyse everything that you’d said and every response that you’d been given. Thousands, probably millions of people across the world did this online dating thing every day.

Why was it so hard for you? And on the first guy!

Wiping the tears away with your hand as you sniffled, you grasped your phone and looked down at the messages once more with a frown. This guy, Jung Hoseok, was way too good for you. There was no way that someone this outgoing was going to be interested in you, not when he had to work this hard to maintain a conversation.

Here he was, going to concerts on a work night while you felt insufferable anxiety at the prospect of not being in bed by 9pm. There was no way you could work out, and maybe it would be better to just cut him loose now so that he didn’t have to bother trying anymore with you. You could always give someone a little more...boring a chance. 

Wincing, you mentally withdrew that adjective. People weren’t boring, they just had different interests. You had no doubt that by your own standards, Hoseok would probably consider you boring.

Sighing, you began to type out your message to him, this once longer than anything else you’d typed.

You: I’m sorry. I don’t know how this online dating stuff works. I don’t even really know how real dating works. I’m really bad at talking, through text and phone. I don’t really know how to do small talk with you and you kind of intimidate me. I’m sorry for bothering you, I don’t think we’d work out and I don’t want to take up any more of your time.

You: Sorry :(

Sending those messages was hard, and you wipe once more at the tears that slowly trail down your face as you try to soothe your anxiety over what you’d sent him. And then you have to try and soothe down your worry that flares up over not being good enough for anyone. 

As much as you wanted to listen to Soyeon and Chungha, and as much as you wanted a relationship, you were terrified at the same time. Because you kept yourself so closed off from people, only letting in the few individuals that your mind deemed worth the time and effort and whom you were positive wouldn’t hurt you too badly.

But a relationship meant letting someone in to a place that friends didn’t go. It meant giving the other person access to your most intimate areas; physically and mentally. Letting them know your dreams, know your fears, letting them into your heart and mind. And it terrified you. Because those people were the most dangerous to you.

With a mind that actively seemed to work against you sometimes, sabotaging yourself and your hopes with crippling anxiety and depression, the idea of letting someone that close to cause even more damage was fear inducing. It was giving someone the power to affirm all the negative thoughts you have about yourself, letting them wriggle their way into your life and your heart in a way that would make it feel like an explosion had happened if they decided you weren’t worth it in the future.

You knew that your fears were silly, that people entered and left relationships frequently and that not every relationship ended badly. Not every relationship ended.

But you were petrified of being the one left, of being the one who finally let down her walls and let someone in deeper than anyone had ever been before and having those fragile, vulnerable places deep within you blown wide open. And yet you still craved the love and affection that you watched your friends go through.

You’d tried to get it in college, dating guys and girls in such a casual way that you weren’t even sure it could be called dating. It was more like friends with benefits half the time, and you had so many fears about yourself that there wasn’t even a whole lot of sex. Nor had it been good, because it was hard to get out of your own head sometimes.

Someone like Jung Hoseok terrified you then, because he looked to be everything that you shied away from normally. Outgoing, attractive, outspoken and experienced judging from what you’d read of his profile. Someone who would probably laugh at the idea of a wallflower like you wanting to be with him.

You’re pulled out of the whirlpool of negativity and self-hatred that your thoughts had quickly veered into by the sound of your phone once more, the noise loud in the quiet of the room since you’d turned off your television. Swallowing, you blink hard and take in a deep and steadying breath before looking down at the message.

Jung Hoseok: Oh that’s fine! Don’t feel pressured or anything. I’m useless at talking on the phone too. Would you rather we meet up instead? Casually or as a date, whichever you prefer. I’m sorry I intimidate you, I don’t mean to :( 

Jung Hoseok: I know I have tattoos and stuff, but I’m not mean! I swear. I think I’m nice...

Jung Hoseok: And we’ll never know if we could work out unless we actually try…

Jung Hoseok: :)

For a few seconds...there’s nothing in your mind as you stare down at your phone in disbelief. Surely you’d misread that? Suddenly lost the ability to read and your mind had made up what you’d rather it said instead. But when you blink hard, rubbing your eyes to clear them until the words are in focus again, you’re met with exactly the same thing that you’d just read.

He...hadn’t been offended by what you’d said. Nor had he laughed at you cutting him off so quickly? In fact...he seemed to be...understanding?

Your mouth feels dry suddenly and you grab a deep gulp of water, cheeks feeling warm as your stomach swirls with confusion, nerves and tentative excitement. He wasn’t annoyed by you. He wasn’t angry with you. He’d accepted what you’d said.

He’d even...asked you on a date? 

And then you realise that he thought that you were intimidated by him purely because he had tattoos and piercings and stuff. Which out of all the things you’d stressed and worried over...that hadn’t even been a top 5 consideration. If anything, those things were just exceptional window dressing on an already outstanding visage.

His words seem to have a strangely soothing effect on your frayed nerves, a balm to your upset and confused mind. Maybe...maybe you could just meet up. You were a lot better in person than you were via text or phone. Your friends liked to say you were funny and sweet, which he might like.

Maybe he was right.

You felt an extreme whiplash that left you feeling a little tired from everything you’d experienced in the last few hours; from the trepidation of signing up to the surge of confidence at messaging Hoseok to the crushing negativity of your flatlining esteem to the small flicker of hope that was now surfacing.

Which is why you feel strangely calm when you message him back, watching your fingers type without really being aware of what you were doing. Completely unaware of the monumental impact your decision was about to have on your future and life.

You: Really? I’d like to meet up...if you want to

Jung Hoseok: I’d love to

[mc-doppomine]

Day 21 Bonus: Fling Posse vs Mad Trigger Crew

Man this was the loaded fight for this whole season. And it’s in the FIRST round. Like I was so sure on both of these guys having like the most going on in this DRB and thought that their fight would’ve been like later...not out the gate. So I was like ‘oh.’ Yeah, I was legit intimidated by that fight so I chose not participate because I did not want to be held responsible for any fallout from whatever happened. This was like a super hard fight in terms of story but I’ll choose to do the music first since the other aspect would take some explaining.

Including the before 2nd DRB for the solos and then the battle album now......I’m so sorry but FP blew MTC out of the water. It really wasn’t much of a fight in that aspect. All of the before 2nd DRB for FP was great. Like those tracks are my favorite song for each individual rapper. Although to be fair, a lot of the 2nd DRB albums gave me the favorite solos of the characters. MTC included...except Rio’s...I feel he gets slighted to often and I feel like I have to say the most bad stuff about him. It’s probably the whole soldier thing. But yeah, it’s completely just the whole pop vs any other genre to me...but Black Journey just beat out Hunting Charm in terms of its appeal. 

So then I run into the battle. And let me just say, what a bop. And it was solely it’s boppability that edged it past Light & Shadow. But it feels like it embodies both teams vibes somehow. And I love it. As for the fight itself...yeesh, it was a massacre. And I was a little sad because this was the song I thought Jyuto was the smoothest and still lost for me. Tragic. But I think Rio and Dice’s politeness before absolutely ripping into each other was wonderful. But I think the BB line just took it for Dice. And then it was no real contest with Jyuto and Gentaro, he said he’s bought to feast on you, rabbit. Please back down graciously. That was Gentaro’s best verse, I’m sorry that this was what you had to go against 

And then there’s Samatoki and Ramuda’s verses. Aahhhhh, it was tough to be honest because Samatoki sounded like he’d make good on this threat on FP with the shot to the head and tearing them apart. Meanwhile Ramuda is just so good at being a nuisance to others and exploiting it. But I think the voice drops just did me in. I’m sorry Samatoki. So yes, FP took the battle for me.

As for the story, I really thought it was gonna be a difficult decision with these two. Because before the battle season they really had a...Reason to Fight. Like FP’s is more dire because Ramuda’s actual life is in danger. But MTC also had the need to go in because Samatoki had reason to believe that Chuuoku may be manipulating his sister and depending on his crew’s goals...her life would end up in danger. They have such strong reasoning from their leaders alone and a loss would hurt either team severely. 

...At least I had this idea until A Dream...for Good or Evil drama track. I feel like that deescalated the situation quite a bit. Like I am all for Nemu’s motivation and work on herself. I didn’t expect it and was pleasantly surprised. But it also kind of knocked down the danger in engagement for MTC...sorta. Because while Samatoki is still willing to go up and then drag her back home, WE know Nemu doesn’t need nor want any sort of help. At this point it only got raised a bit from Honobono and her interaction with Jyuto but even that didn’t feel like enough to kick back up the urgency for MTC. 

Meanwhile in Catch Us If You Can drama track, we’re just cemented to the fact that Ramuda is still unwell and will continue to so long as his supply of candies dwindle. And then it’s exacerbated because now FP as a whole were in danger of being hunted by both the clones and by Honobono. The stakes only rose for them. 

Then we’d have to consider where their battles lead...MTC vs DH would be Samatoki getting closure with Sasara. Despite not getting it, Samatoki showed an immense amount of restraint as he didn’t even draw his mic on Sasara. But he wanted to know and while he hasn’t HAD to think on it for a while, the battle throws it in his face. And now Sasara can’t run from him, which works in his favor. I don’t think MTC would know anything about Rei to really get in a fight with him unless Rio recognized him but even that I’m not sure is enough to really cause a friction with the two crews. 

MTC vs BB is War War War all over again. But I think it would be a chance for reconciliation for Samatoki and Ichiro the only way they know how (fighting). Especially since now it’d be known who Ichiro’s dad is and Samatoki being able to empathize with having a piece of shit dad and keeping those ghosts from taking what he has. Also he has no reason to fight Ichiro anymore. Not knowing what he does now and having already smashed his feelings with the eldest Yamada in the last battle season. I feel like Jiro could get along with MTC easier now along with Saburo as they have had time to think how MTC isn’t really their enemy outside of this competition. They took on a grudge that wasn’t theirs and now they don’t have to have it. And I hope that they take that angle. 

MTC vs BAT I can’t think of too much for. I don’t think there was much interaction from any side outside of Samatoki and Kuko’s short time in MCD. I think Hitoya would steer clear of MTC as he doesn’t want Jyushi or Kuko wrapped up with them despite Kuko’s knack for finding trouble. 

MTC vs MTR I can’t think of being as intense as their last time since they really didn’t have reason to hate each other outside of they’re the opponents. Although It would be interesting to see how they’d duke it out knowing each other’s abilities a little better. Maybe there’s a chance of Samatoki asking Jakurai to see if his ability could heal his sister and Jakurai not being mean, wouldn’t be opposed regardless of win or loss. Although it could be mutually beneficial if Jakurai could ask Samatoki to deal with Honobono so that it didn’t lead to trouble for his team. Doubtful but interesting nevertheless. 

Going on to flip the script FP vs DH would really only boil down to Rei’s machinations for this battle. I did go back and he did say he had further use for Ramuda after the 1st DRB. What is this use? Is it like a backdoor to Ramuda that obviously the creator would know? Ramuda doesn’t seem to be quite conscious of Rei for some reason and I wonder why that is. I don’t think he’d really have reason to target Gentaro unless it is the idea that he knows whatever secret Gentaro is keeping. Which I feel Gentaro has a major secret but we have yet to have the full picture as to it. And lastly Rei knows who the fuck Dice is. He knows who’s watching him. It’s a secret that the group doesn’t even know Dice is keeping. It’d be hella shady though if Otome was like ‘I’d entertain your whim so long as you get rid of this guy for me.’ Which if it was for Ramuda...Dice would less argumentative against it but he’d have to know why. Even if I don’t feel he dislikes his mother, he isn’t proud of her by any means either. 

FP vs BB...god I am sort of curious because I can’t think of much of a fight between them. Like Ramuda never seemed to think much of Ichiro and vice versa. Although I almost feel like Ichiro knows about Ramuda’s secret but said nothing because it’s not his business as I believe he was the one that had remarked to Ramuda ‘hey do you have a twin?’ in TDD. I also feel like Gentaro can start another rivalry he will never let go with Jiro...just because thoughtless words tend to find him. A lot. I feel like Saburo could also break the secrets on FP while looking into them and finding them...odd. But overall it’s too vague to imagine.

FP vs BAT...haaaaaa, I got nothing. I’m sorry, I haven’t found any sort of connection or thread with them to go onto.

FP vs MTR woooooooo. Not only do we get Battle Battle Battle remix, but they just have so much that can go on between them. They both have a mutual enemy in Honobono, whom seems motivated either by her job (with FP) or personal amusement (with MTR), in serving as an antagonist to them. While it would be cool for them to link up and deal with her, I feel more like they’ll beat the other and leave them as like an offering to her while they deal with their own problems. Which would honestly just make them both easy pickings for her. She seems to understand the heart of both teams and I could see her using that against them such as Jakurai’s compassion, Hifumi and Doppo’s defense and  Dice and Gentaro’s desperation. 

Then there’s the whole issue of them being wanted by Chuuoku for differing reasons. I don’t know how but that could work for the other team if they knew about the motives of their opponents. And also it would be a chance for Ramuda and Jakurai to have some semblance of reconciliation because they wouldn’t want to see the other used by Chuuoku. Even if they can’t stand each other. There’s a difference between disdain and suffering.

But based on all of that...it is pretty easy for me to slot for FP in this fight. So overall FP would’ve been who I go for in this DRB round. 

[eremiie]

okay and for the matchup!!! im gonna try and make this as descriptive as possible but if u want more info pls lmk :)) also it would be cool if it was a guy and it would be REALLY cool if it wasn’t zeke (him and i just don’t click idk i hope that doesn’t mess u up:()

for physical i use she/her pronouns, i’m a about 5’6 and a little on the thicker/curvier side! idk if this is tmi or not but i’m pretty hefty in terms of 🍒 but i got NOTHING for 🍑 :(( breaks my heart aNYWAY i have long light brown hair and my two front pieces are dyed blonde/silver ish, i have blue eyes and wear glasses!! in terms of makeup i tend to do more natural stuff like basic foundation and mascara and that stuff but that’s mostly bc i suck at everything else 😭

my zodiac sign is sagittarius (november sag if that helps) and i’m an enfp!! i tend to be a little shy when i first meet people but once i warm up it’s hard to make me shut up lmao i loooooooove meeting new people and getting to know them and ngl i do tend to over share a little bit so that can be a little overwhelming but i’m pretty good at reading ppl so i know when it’s too much you know ?? i also think i’m one of the funniest ppl i know LMAO i’m always laughing at my own jokes and i love to make other ppl laugh it makes me so happy!! in terms of my type of humor it’s pretty sarcastic but i will literally laugh at anything (except things that are messed up i’m not down for DARK humor). also i’m like hella nice tbh i’m probably overly nice to a lot of ppl BUT i also stand up for myself when need be and i’m not afraid to be honest and blunt!

as for bad personality traits i can definitely be a little jealous and i tend to overthink things a lot. i am NOT a morning person if i wake up any earlier before like 10am i’m usually pretty cranky for the rest of the day which is pretty annoying lmao. i’m pretty forgetful so if someone tells me to do something they usually have to do it a few more times before it hits me. also i’m the absolute worst at math and i was pretty careless in school :/ i didn’t like get into trouble or anything but i definitely slacked off in terms of grades and caring about things like that.

i’m p sure my love languages are quality time and physical touch bc i’m a HUUUUGE sucker for hugs and hand holding and stuff like that 🥺 i also really think 1 on 1 time with a s/o is important but i for sure think it’s good to have time apart or time with like a group of friends too!!

for hobbies i love to play video games, hang out with friends, listen to music, watch movies and tv and write!! i spend way too much time playing games like minecraft and legend of zelda and i can pretty much listen to anything except for country lol i love comedy and horror movies and tbh i’m kinda a sucker for romance movies 😳 i go to target like every day and just kinda walk around and before covid i loved going out to eat with friends and going to the arcade!!! i’m for sure more of a city person than a country girl and i love spending time downtown just walking around or going to baseball games or whatever!!

for future goals tbh i’m not really sure yet ?? i’m interested in maybe being a therapist or a teacher when i’m older but like i said i don’t have any like set goals career wise. i do want to get married but i don’t really want kids unless i maybe adopt ?? (fun fact i’m TERRIFIED of pregnancy for some reason lmao is that weird). i would L O V E to travel the world someday and see all of the different cultures and places i think that would be so unbelievably fun :))

turn ons include bondage, degradation, wax, dirty talk, and idk if this has a name but having to be quiet 😳😳😳 tbh pretty much everything except for feet, blood, p!ss, and pet (those are the turn offs) but idk besides those id probably be willing to try anything at least once

i hope this wasn’t too long or not descriptive enough!!! again if u need more info pls don’t hesitate to message me and ask i’m an open book :))) thank u sm for doing this muah ur an angel <33333

i match you up with...

connie springer.

i match you up because...

connie could care less how shy you were at first because he definitely opened you up, but not by his own will, you just felt so comfortable around him to open up in the first place. he just listens to what you have to say, it might seem like he doesn’t care but he’s really listening. you think you’re real funny? when you’re with connie you guys are both hilarious together and crack up at the stupidest stuff but it’s literally so funny because it’s with him. he appreciates that you can stand up for yourself and you’re straight forward so he doesn’t really have to jump in when you’re getting in it with other people— not that he won’t if you ask, he just isn’t a fan of drama if he isn’t watching it. connie isn’t great at reassuring you when you get jealous and start overthinking but i think there aren’t many moments when you do with him because you guys are always spending immense quality time together that is such a vibe it leaves no room for any thinking. connie doesn’t wake up early and neither do you so you don’t have to worry about waking up early when you live with him. you and connie are forgetful but you’re forgetful together— that’s not really a positive but it’s funny. you guys also both slack off in school work, which you probably both tried to fix but it didn’t work out. he enjoys that your love language is quality time becayse like i said, y’all spend a lot of it together. he doesn’t mind your affectionate but don’t expect much back in return. 

you guys play video games together all the time, in the same house but different rooms, or sitting on the floor in front of the couch together

both of you once slept in together until 3pm and decided it was too late to even start your day, so got up and then went back to bed together

you and connie constantly go places together, and always try to go new places at that as well

you guys go out to eat at fast food chains really late at night 

both of you tried to study together but y’all literally laughed like the whole entire time and got no progress done

you like watching movies with him but he always falls asleep like 15 minutes in so you take pictures of him sleeping

you guys go to walmart & target all the time to literally just look around

your runner up was eren, hope you enjoyed your matchup!

[sufaeu]

So how do Stevens' wings work? Do they stay there permanently or can he bring them in/have them disappear whenever he chooses, like his shield (in canon) is hard light, but it can interact with real-world things and hold his weight? Love the au by the way! And your style suits it!

They are holed up in her aunt’s guest room when it occurs to her. The curtains are drawn, the lights are off, and the only illumination is what little sun can filter through the fabric. It’s close to sunset, and it casts across the room in hues of orange and red. 

Steven is paranoid about a lot of things - among them is reflective surfaces, bright lights, and, currently, uncovered windows. Right now, Connie is more than willing to accommodate him. She’s already gotten a pretty appalling taste of just how legitimate his concerns are.

He’s sitting on the bed. She’s pacing the room, trying to find something to do. There isn’t anything, so, instead, she finds herself thinking about wings.

“Why do I only see them sometimes?” she asks, out of the blue. Steven jolts, as if he’d forgotten for a moment that someone else was present.

“See what?” he asks. She gets the impression she’s already given him the wrong idea - like he’s expecting she’s seeing ghouls hiding around corners, or spirits haunting them. Nothing so dire, thankfully.

“Your wings,” she clarifies. “I never saw them - or any of this stuff - until I remembered your name… but even now. I can’t see them. I could see them before. Why is that?”

“Oh,” Steven says, shifting uncomfortably. “It’s kind of a faerie thing.”

She sits down onto the bed with him. “Will you tell me about it?”

“Uh.” He looks away from her. “Sorry,” he adds, after a moment. “I’m not used to talking about this stuff to people who don’t know.”

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” she says, though inside, she can’t deny that she really hopes he’ll continue. Still, she doesn’t want to bully him into talking about his mysterious magic problems, even if they are sort of spiritually joined at the hip now. Or something.

“No, it’s okay,” he says. “I just… wasn’t allowed to. So, it’s kind of a habit.” He moves so that he’s facing towards her. “Wings are like… an extension of our souls, basically? That’s what Garnet always said. So, whether or not other people can see them sort of depends on our mood, or what we’re doing with our magic.”

“They’re your… soul?” She repeats the word uncertainty, and it clicks for the first time, that a whole new realm of spirituality has opened up to her. Including, apparently, the concrete existence of souls. Is there an afterlife? Do humans have souls like fae do? The stream of thought spirals away from her, before she shuts it off abruptly. 

“Yeah,” he says. “So, for some fae it’s kind of… private? Seeing them can be kind of special.”

“I saw yours,” she says.

“Well… that’s because I was using them,” he explains, a bit too quickly. “And… maybe the name thing? I don’t know.”

“Are they tangible?” she asks. “They went right through your shirt.” Yet, she could sort of feel the air they disrupted fanning across her face, when he was flying.

“Kind of? They’re always there, but they’re only physical sometimes.” He shrugs a shoulder, becoming a bit more relaxed about the whole thing. Maybe he just needs practice talking about it.

“Will you show me?”

He swallows, but nods. It feels like something he wants to do, but is having trouble summoning up the nerve. That feels very relatable. 

“Sure…”

He exhales softly, concentrating. His wings become present to her, as if they had been there all along and she simply hadn’t noticed. How she could miss something so beautiful is impossible to imagine, though.

They spread behind him like stained glass, but impossibly thin and delicate. The pink and minty greens vividly contrast each other, patterns of leaves and flower petals adorning their surface. They emit their own light against the dimness of the room, though it’s subtle and ethereal. They almost seem like a hallucination.

“This is your soul?” she murmurs. 

She reaches forward without thinking, mesmerized by the sight. Her fingers brush along their surface, ever so gently - they shimmer like glass, but feel as soft as velvet. 

A shiver goes through Steven’s entire body as she does so, his wing twitching beneath her hand. She pulls her hand away immediately. When she looks up, his face is flushed deep pink. The wings are gone. 

“I’m sorry,” she says, reflexively, feeling as if she’s crossed a boundary somehow. He shakes his head, in a sharp release of tension.

“It’s okay!” he says. “It’s cool. It’s just… my soul?” His voice squeaks. “Touching it feels… really intense.”

“O-Oh.” She turns away from him on the bed, mortified.

Well, that’s one conversation starter that can’t be revisited. She might just die of embarrassment.

IN SUMMARY: They always exist, in a spiritual sense, but they can appear or disappear based on his mood and the need for them. They are an extension of a fae’s spirit, so they are considered very precious and intimate. They phase right through most clothing, and often physical objects, unless they are being summoned.

I love this question so I had to write some straight up wingfic about it. Thank you very much!

[askkrenko]

Let’s Talk about Secret Lair

Now that we’ve had a week to stew and they’re coming out tomorrow, I’d like to take the time to give my full thoughts on each Secret Lair line and give them something resembling a grade of my own. I gave them initial thoughts on reveal, but now I’d like to speak a bit more structured.  This might get a bit long, so... After the Break!

THE BOX: I don’t have the box. I can’t judge the box. If the box is good quality, it could be worth like $10 of the price. If the box is bad quality, it’s trash. For my discussion here I’m going to be ignoring the box. The box looks sturdy enough, and pretty alright, so keep in mind that they each come with a special box.

Bitterblossom Dreams:

Value: Bitterblossom alone costs more than Bitterblossom Dreams. Certainly it’ll drop after this comes out, but Bitterblossom Dreams’ raw value is undeniable. It’s a cheap Bitterblossom, plus tokens. Style: Extended Art cards are always cool, especially on well-known permanents. it’s clearly Bitterblossom, but still has the text there for those who need it. The four tokens are each extended art as well, have different but matching art, and create a lovely panorama. My only complaint is that, for gameplay purposes, I think the panorama should’ve put the Bitterblossom itself either on the far right or the far left so that the cards would line up properly on the battlefield. As is, during gameplay the Bitterblossom will be to the saide and the tokens all together, creating an odd effect. Still, this is a relatively minor complaint. Usability: Bitterblossom is super usable. Very popular card in Legacy and Commander that sometimes sees real Modern play. 

Overall: Do you want a Bitterblossom? Bitterblossom Dreams is the most cost effective way to get it, and it’s super cool. Pretty straightforward. This is a good product, and yet...

Something feels off about the whole thing to me. Magic’s always been about selling cards and often including cool alt art versions for sale, but somehow the idea of a $30 product that’s just ONE playable card, even with the four tokens, feels very... off to me. I can’t complain about it because it’s a great deal, it just feels... so weird. Eldraine Wonderland:

Value: It’s five basic snow lands.  Yeah, these are like $8 each in foil for the Modern versions, but they’re still five basic lands in foil. Modern Horizons just gave us FULL ART foil snow lands. And regular full-art snow lands are 50 cents each now. The value here is terrible. Style: It’s... a foil land. Sure, the art is nice, but not ‘different’ or ‘special.’ It’s just nice art. In a normal frame. I award this no points.

Usability: Very low. I like the Snow-Covered Swamp... but a playset of Snow-Covered Swamps is not 1, nor is it 4. It’s 20-30, depending on format. And this set is all five. I don’t need Snow-Covered Islands, Mountains, or Forests. I need Swamps and Plains, and only if I can get two dozen of each. A set of one of each foil snow land does nothing for me. Even if I was willing to spend the price of $6 per foil snow land (which, to be fair, I might be- I’ve been amassing foil Zendikar and BFZ forests for one of my decks at about that price), I don’t want to have to buy all five at once and then go through the effort of trading/selling the ones I’m not using. Overall: This is bad and feels bad. Basic lands should not be $6 a pop for foils, even if they’re snow-lands, and buying them in separate sets of five instead of, say, getting to buy each in sets of five on their own, just means if I do want enough for a deck, it’s a pain in the butt. I award this product no points. Restless in Peace:

Value: Non-foil versions of these cards are at about the $20 range combined, and these ones are alt-art but... not foil. So the value here isn’t great.

Style: The art here is good, and I certainly think it’s better than the previous arts for Golgari Thug and Bloodghast. The style isn’t TOO far out there for modern magic, but it’s still abnormal, especially with Bloodghast.  Once again, the panorama has a non-permanent in the middle, which means it can’t be assembled on the battlefield.

Usability: It’s Modern Dredge. Do you play Modern Dredge? Are you interested in Modern Dredge? Consider buying four of these. Otherwise, you might want a suite for a commander deck, but they’re pretty narrow cards. That’s good, though: they all have a shared home. This is a niche product with a clear, obvious usability that basically guarantees that if you want any of them, you want all of them. Overall: ...Why aren’t these foil? Okay, I get it, not everybody wants foil, especially for a tournament deck because foils can bend, but they’re asking premium prices for printings with new art that’s... good, but not really out there. Feels like a waste of time. At the very least they could’ve been foil. That Bloodghast would look great in foil. Seeing Visions:

Value: Serum Visions is a $2.50 card and foil versions can be gotten for under $4 thanks to the admittedly-icky-looking FNM promo.  The value in Seeing Visions is godawful.

Style: I love these cards. They’re so weird and cool and freaky and abstract and unique. Sure, the frame is normal, but the arts are all stuff we basically never get on Magic cards anymore. Usability: It’s a playset of Serum Visions. You can find a use for it easily. Some people don’t like to have different arts of their cards in their deck because it gives the opponent ‘information’ but screw that. This is perfect. Just put them into a blue deck and you’re good to go. Overall: This is cool and beautiful and really neat and interesting and $30 just seems so high for them, but if you’re already running a playset of Serum Visions in Modern, they’re just soooo cooool that maybe they’re worth it as a pure pimp factor. Unlike with Bitterblossom Dreams and Restless in Peace, this wouldn’t be your way to get the cards to begin with. It’s not a ‘hey, if you want Serum Visions maybe get this version.’ It’s pure pimping. ...And I like that.

<EXPLOSION SOUNDS>: 

Value: These cards in normal printing total about $20. I’m not impressed. If these were foil, well, Sharpshooter’s only foil printing is over $40, but no, they’re not. So there’s no real value in here. Style: This is a nice, unique, cartoony style the likes of which we haven’t seen outside of Un-sets since Phil Foglio in the earlier days of Magic. I’m not positive that I LIKE this art, but I do like that it’s unique and I appreciate that a lot. I also love the flavor text setting them up as a team. Usability: I’m not actually sure what I’m supposed to do with these goblins. At $30 for the five they’re clearly for the more engaged player, but two of them aren’t modern legal, and the ones that are don’t really see play in Legacy goblins. I want to put all five of these in a deck, but the only deck I can think to do so is in a Commander deck using either Krenko at the helm. This set would be a lot better if, like Restless in Peace, they had made sure all the cards were part of a single deck that was decent in at least one format.  Hell, if a Krenko had been printed in this set, at least it would’ve been clear what to do with them. Overall: I want to like this set, but I have no idea who it’s for and what should be done with it. It’s a panorama that clearly all wants to be used together, but only in a goblin tribal commander deck or a kitchen table deck, the art is interesting but I’m not sure it’s actually GOOD (it makes me think of cheap mobile games), Goblin Lackey’s the only card that really needed a reprint, and they’re not even foil. I’m disappointed. 

Kaleidoscope Killers: 

Value: Non-Foil Sliver Overlord is currently $33. This set costs $40. This has value. The other two aren’t slouches.

Style: I really, really like the style on these, but style is subjective so what really matters is that the art is very non-standard and the sort of thing you don’t see much on regular magic cards these days. And all three of them are there to be Commanders, so if you use them they’ll be front and center the whole time. Usability: Let’s face it, you only want one of the three. Look, they’re all great, but five color decks are expensive mana bases so unless you’re rich or one of those weirdos who reassembles their decks on the fly, you’re only building one, and they’re all tribal lords so they don’t go into the same deck at all. This is the sort of thing where you buy it for the one you want and then try to trade the other two... And they’re all really cool and worthwhile cards so you’ll probably have an easier time with this than with Eldraine Dreams, but it’s still inconvenient that you have to buy them as a unit. If the value weren’t so good here, I’d be complaining more, but I’m seriously tempted to buy this just for the Reaper King (normally a $70 foil) and trading the other two. Because seriously. SO GOOD value. And I don’t even have a Reaper King deck... yet. Overall: So tempted. They look really cool (especially the Ur-Dragon), it’s a great value, and of all the cards to have in alt-art foil, Commanders are the coolest because of how they’re front and center of your deck. Very niche- the purpose of these is to have one of these specific cards as your commander- but very good.

OMG KITTIES!

Value: Even in foil, most of these cards aren’t worth much. The value in this as far as actual cards go is less than the $40. If you’re talking about raw financial incentive to get these cards, this set is not worth your time. That said...

Style: OMG KITTIES! They’re so cute and fluffy and snuggable and like nothing that normally gets printed on Magic cards. They’re unique art, with unique tokens, and cute flavor text, and they’re just so cuuuuute! This style is really something SPECIAL on a Magic card.

Usability: This... is for an Arahbo deck. Hell, Arahbo’s even here. But there’s nothing else to be done with these cards. At all.  Here’s the thing, though, Feline Ferocity is currently bouncing around $90. If you don’t have that deck, you’re probably going to have a hard time using these cards... but if you DO have that deck, you’re only getting two new cards that are pretty cheap to get in the normal version.. Also, there’s two cats that each make two cat tokens, and each has a matching cat token, but only one matching cat token. This set should have two of each of the cat tokens. Overall: This is a supplemental product to a supplemental product. Yes, you can buy it without owning Feline Ferocity, and two of the cards will be new to it, but you know what’d be totally awesome? If instead of selling this OMG Kitties as a set of five cards and two tokens, they sold it alongside a reprint of the Arahbo deck so that people who hadn’t gotten it the first time could get it now with this upgrade? Maybe even offer it in both “Upgrade pack” version of just the new cards AND a version where you got the whole deck, plus these cards as a bundle.  And another of each token.

I really like OMG Kitties overall as an option to upgrade an Arahbo deck, but I don’t have an Arahbo deck and literally the only thing to do with any of the cards in this set is to make one.

Final Thoughts: 

If the foils curl too easily, most of these are a waste of money. Assuming they don’t, Bitterblossom Dreams and Kaleidoscope Killers are great purchases, OMG Kitties!, Restless in peace, and Seeing Visions are very much niche products that are pretty cool if you’re that particular niche, and  Eldraine Wonderland and <explosion sounds> are both outright failures as unified products.

[mindwideopen]

This man.... is one of my heroes. I look up to him a lot, (I really need to come up with a better synonym for the term, “a lot”. Please hold...) a plethora? A plenty? A ton? A bunch? I guess I didn’t need to look it up, but all of it applies. James Cameron. He wasn’t always a big Hollywood success. No one is. They create and design themselves and their lives, in the way they want to be. We all do it with our beliefs whether we’re aware of it or not. James had aspirations for more than where he was at one point in his life, and decided to take inspired action, to change both his inward then subsequently his outward experience. James, is a bad ass! (Let me define bad ass: I think he’s awesome!)

James started off being a person like all of us. We aspire for more. James has a huge imagination, and is an incredible storyteller, much like any other director, both renowned or not. He had the capability to communicate his intention to a mass of people, and they appreciated and understood it, and recognized him for it. Was James the same person before he was recognized by the public for his awesomeness? Not sure. Only he could answer that. But I can surmise that he was the same one minute before his big break and most likely the same after, only his world outter world changed. But one things for sure; He allowed himself his mind, to be it first, before it showed up in his life. Oh! And he worked his ass off doing and focusing on what he wanted to do. Be an amazing storyteller. He read, and he immersed himself in his craft. That helps too. 😉

James used to be a truck driver. A cool gig. A respectable, well paying job. Lots of travel, and lots of time to sit, and dream. That’s how it starts. With a desire, a dream, an intention for more in his case, but a satisfaction or impetus for more than what he was experiencing at the time, and a peace and acceptance from within or not, then came a purpose, an aim, and a goal. And if you can get out of your own way in your mind, eliminating self doubt and negative self talk as much as you can, them BOOM! You’ll see it!!! It’s the next logical step. It’s reality, as you created it. Well, there are other factors that mix in. Like people, and their wants and desires and needs. Ang when you mix with people, who have their own stuff going on, it becomes a co-creation. Life is a co-creation. We are beings that have set up a society where we measure success on population recognition and acceptance. James Cameron didn’t buy into that belief, and he created his reality that he wanted to see, both on and off the big screen. I am sooooo not there yet... internally. Woof...

James is proof, that you do not have to be defined by your chosen occupation, or how others view you. He focused on his stories, and his voice, and his opinion of himself was, and probably still is, the most important thing to him. I have noticed a trend among these incredibly talented, famous and successful creatives, and that is this: their love, is the primary focus, whether they realize it or not. Their love for their craft, tipped the scales of how they may or may not feel about themselves subconsciously or consciously. The love of what they love to do, and focus on, is their primary vibration. The rest is superfluous.

Celebrity is kinda a funny thing. You can become famous, if others recognize your talents. I always took issue with that when I was a “struggling by choice” actor. I had a chip on my shoulder, yes, but I also put all of my power and my self worth, in other people’s hands. Some may call it “self sabotage” or “shooting myself in the foot”. I wasn’t that self aware. I wanted to be accepted, loved, and when I wasn’t, and was passed over, I took it hard. Really hard. I didn’t value or appreciate me. I allowed others to define me, and yes, crush me, whether that was their intention or not.

I’m a sensitive person by nature, so I’ve learned over the years coping mechanisms to counteract callus, human behavior. Another belief I need to overcome. I’m full of them. So, you see I never tipped the scales to “success” with money and fame and accolades for my work, because latently inside, I didn’t believe I was good enough. And guess what I experienced on the outside in all of my work, whether I was hired or not? All that rejection, which I held internally. Boom. A harsh reality to face. I did it, with my feelings about myself, then my feelings and thoughts about how others view me, and then my subsequent reactivity to those people and situations around me. So for me, I did have all the power all along. How i decide to acknowledge it, and whether i decide to be deliberate about its use, is all up to me.

I have decided to be more deliberate. Man, I love that word! Deliberate! It puts me in the drivers seat. I will deliberately choose! Oooh! Better! Yes. I will deliberately choose to feel good! Yes! And I will deliberately choose to feel good, while loving people and myself. When I write about loving yourself it’s not at the expense of loving others, it’s in addition to it. You are also human, and part of the whole, so why ignore yourself in order to love others. Essentially, you can’t. You will deplete yourself, and have nothing left of value to give. So loving you, is imperative for a loving life.

James Cameron to me observing him from the outside and not knowing him personally, is an awesome life liver. Not a liver, the organ, which I am not a fan of. (I need to define to clarify my intent, otherwise people may misconstrue my meaning.)

Clarification is necessary to create healthy lives. Because when you know what you don’t want, what is next? Focus on the things that bliss you out. Clarity and context, help it all come into focus. Here’s the upshot of all of this: life should bring you joy. Any feeling or thought that you decide to entertain that doesn’t should be eliminated from your mind. That doesn’t include people, unless it does. This concept is a 2 or more way street. Both parties need to be willing to co-create in a way that is satisfying to both to remain in congruent with one another vibrationally, and in one another’s lives. Either a mutual respect, or an unspoken agreement of a co-dependent relationship.

Live, laugh, love. Ok. Extremely cliche, or, yeah duh, or yes, agreed. All choices. Decide your energy. I love to watch James Cameron movies, and listen to documentaries about his life. His success inspires me, and yes, sometimes can piss me off depending on how I feel about myself at the time. But I can always recognize my jealousy, and move past it back to love. Doing what you love to do, and appreciating others that do the same, is putting the love first, and out into the world. I have decided to be like James Cameron. I have decided to write. I have decided to love. Pretty cool...

P.S. my intention in writing this is not to get anything out of James Cameron, to star in his next movie, or to kiss his ass. My intention, is to create love within myself from my appreciation of him, and how I want to be as well, my own way. Love has a way of taking you where you need to be to be happy if you follow and pay attention to its crumb trail.

[misc-headcanons]

May i please have the full nsfw alphabet for killer please?

(Well, only because you said “please”... :P JK, I’m always down to write about Killer!)

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

He likes to just relax afterwards, but if you need anything he’ll get up and get it for you. He usually falls asleep soon after sex, holding you against his chest.

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

On his partner: He doesn’t even know why, but he likes their neck and shoulders. He loves to sleep with his head resting in the crook of your neck, and he likes resting his head on your shoulder when he’s bored or tired.

On himself: Probably his hands. He’s got some light callouses, and the feeling of his hands on your body just does something to him. He’s also quite skilled with his hands, and he puts that talent to use when he’s in bed with you.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

Killer prefers to cum inside you, and when he does there’s a LOT. Like, you know those hentai videos where the guy just cums like a geyser and it’s ridiculously thick? That’s Killer. He’ll use a condom when he can, but even then there’s just so much that it usually bursts anyway.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He secretly wants to fuck you while you’re wearing cute and frilly lingerie, regardless of your gender. There’s just something about seeing you dressed like in something so cute and elegant, just for him to roughly take you. If you want the key to his heart (and his dick :3), just dress up in something like this: https://www.hijp.co.kr/rakuten/bid.s/auc-kozwayshop:10001085

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

He’s had a few partners of different genders here and there while traveling the seas, so he’s got a decent amount of experience. He can count the people he’s slept with on one hand, but from how he is in bed you’d think he has a LOT more experience.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

He prefers to be on top, and he’s not too adventurous with positions. The first time you two have sex, he’ll stick to missionary; after that, he’ll try to spice it up a little but he still likes positions like that.

http://sexpositions.club/positions/115.html

http://sexpositions.club/positions/79.html

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

He’s more serious than goofy, but if something embarrassing happens he’s not afraid to laugh and play it off. Ideally though, he’s too busy fucking you senseless to make you laugh.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

He’s got a lil’ happy trail of blond curls, and he keeps himself fairly well-groomed down there with a trim every now and then. His hair is a little darker compared to what’s on his head, but it’s still blond.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

It really depends on how long you’ve been together. All of the other times he’s had sex, they were just flings or one-night stands; he didn’t take off his mask and he didn’t get too attached to his past partners, so if you two have a relationship like that it won’t be too intimate. If you two are close enough, he’ll have taken off his mask in front of you before you two ever have sex. If that’s the case, he’s very intimate: passionate kisses as he feverishly pounds into you, lots of foreplay, whispers of your name...

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

He’s got a fairly low sex drive, so he doesn’t do it that often. It also doesn’t help that Kidd has NO sense of privacy while on the ship and will just burst into your room unannounced, so if Killer ever tried jerking off while on the ship there’s a high chance Kidd will walk in on him.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Frilly, lacy lingerie. The cuter, the better. Any color is good, but he likes pastels especially.

Bondage/shibari, ideally with silk ropes or something gentle. You look like a present that he can’t wait to unwrap.

Hair tugging/pulling. If you dig your nails a little bit into his scalp and tug on his hair during sex, he’ll turn into an animal.

If you have long hair, he likes seeing you with it up in a messy bun. If you combine this look with some lingerie, he’ll fuck you right then and there when he sees you regardless of whether or not you’re in public.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

Prefers to just have sex in typical places, like a bed/couch/shower, but he’s also quite fond of fucking you against a wall.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

When you play with his hair

Seeing you biting your lip when you’re turned on in public but don’t want to give it away

When you two are hanging out/cuddling and you rest your head on his shoulder

Seeing you take out an enemy with ease. There’s something about the way you move that’s so graceful to him, even if you’re just punching a dude out.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Nothing involving scat or urine

He doesn’t have a daddy kink, and being called “daddy” makes him feel...weird. A part of him thinks that you actually want him to father your kids, and he’s cautious about bringing a baby into your lives considering the whole “I’m a pirate and have a lot of chaos/danger in my life” thing.

He’d try some roleplay, but he wouldn’t be comfortable with something dark like incest or consensual noncon/dubcon. 

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

He doesn’t have a preference for giving or receiving, it just depends on his mood. If he’s stressed about something, he’s more likely to want to receive; if he can tell you need some “attention” after a long day, he’ll want to give. He’d only be able to give you oral if you’ve been together for a while and you’ve seen him without the mask (it’s kinda hard to eat someone out or suck their dick with it on, after all). He’s fairly experienced with oral, but his real talent comes from his hands; he’s fond of eating you out while fingering you/sucking you off and stroking you at the same time.

P = Pace (Are they fats and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

He has a quick pace, and the closer he gets to cumming the rougher he gets. The word to describe his pace is “passionate”. Lots of feverish kisses while he’s fucking you at a fast pace, nipping and biting your neck and collarbone, pulling you in for a kiss when he finally cums inside you and fucks you hard through his orgasm, etc.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

If you two are in a real relationship and not just a fling, he prefers proper sex. But if you just need some quick release or you two are short on time, he’s fine with a quickie. Most of the time, these sessions will involve you against a wall.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

He’s willing to experiment a bit, but his partner would have to approach him. He’s happy with what he’s doing, and he tends to stick to what he knows; unless you tell him you want to try something, he won’t really try anything new.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

He’s got a fairly low sex drive, but when he’s turned on, he’s gonna last a while. Three rounds on average, and he can last for almost an hour per round if he paces himself. You’re gonna be sore afterward, just a heads-up.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

He doesn’t have any toys, but he would be fine if his partner wanted to try using on him/themselves/both of them. Kidd gave him a pocket pussy as a gag gift once, but he hasn’t used it. Yet. It’s still in its original packaging on a shelf in his room.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He doesn’t tease too much, unless you get him riled up. If you tease him for too long with some strategic kisses and sighs, light grinding against him, etc, he’ll eventually pay you back by pinning your arms above your head and kiss/bite every inch of skin around your pelvis. If you want him to actually give you oral, you better beg him; it’s only fair, considering how much you were teasing him...

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

He’s not that loud, but he will get louder the closer he gets to cumming. He’ll moan and mutter small things in your ear (“Right there?” “Fuck, you feel good…” “Wrap your legs around me tighter”) , and he likes to kiss you as he cums so that he doesn’t get too loud.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

If you approached him with the idea of having a threesome, he’d be cool with it and nominate Kidd as the third person. He knows that Kidd would be into it, and Kidd wouldn’t be the kind of guy to catch feelings and make everything complicated between the three of you. 

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

Length (flaccid and erect): 7 ½ inches

Girth: 5 ½ inches

It’s a bit veiny, and it’s got a slight downward curve to it. The head is a bit pink, and it just looks...pretty? Like, there’s something about his blond hair/happy trail, the slight tan of his body and shaft, and the pink of the head that just looks really nice. 

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Like I said, it’s somewhat low. He can go a month or two without sex before he starts to get pent-up, but if his partner has a higher sex drive he would be able to keep up with them without a problem.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He gets pretty sleepy after sex, and he falls asleep easily afterwards. Part of the reason he likes fucking you in bed most of the time is that he can just curl up afterwards, have you rest on his chest, and fall asleep. If you two have sex in the afternoon or the morning and he has to do stuff afterward, he’s a bit groggy for an hour or so; Kidd can tell whenever Killer’s had sex because of this, and he always flashes him the biggest shit-eating grin before asking him why he’s so tired.