#'this is how i think the world should work so im going to act like it already works that way without doing anything to actually change it'
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ablednt · 6 months ago
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Granted I have the overall geographical and cultural knowledge of a 4th grader but from what I can tell the nuclear family model really does seem to be a white colonial invention
Different cultures have different approaches but I mainly hear about either large family units where multiple generations support each other and raise their children and grandchildren together or an "it takes a village" approach where children are raised somewhat communally
And I can't really speak on it much or claim that these families were free of abuse or that children aren't often an oppressed group basically everywhere I know of but the way ownership of your children is so engrained into white society is so bizarre
Like once you notice it you can't unnotice it even the most loving well meaning parents don't know what to do about it because everyone is so isolated from their own families and their own communities so you wind up with 1-2 parents who have full legal ownership of their child and are raised in a culture where you don't have personhood until you're 18 and all attempts at self actualization before them are seen as clueless rebellion. Like our culture is so divorced from the concept that a parent is someone who is helping mentor and care for their child so they can thrive as a fellow human being and it's actually so alarming
And ik this problem isn't unique to white and colonized people but it's honestly really soothing to hear about how other cultures approach and view parenting and community as a whole and to internalize it doesn't have to be this way
#like i was reading a book by Sabaa Tahir who's Pakistani#and the perspective on parenthood portrayed in it so healing#like when Salahuddin mentions that his mom taught him not to thank his parents growing up#''Ama taught me that saying thank you to your own parents is unnecessary. Akin to thanking your lungs for breathing. The times I tried#she looked at me like I’d rejected Saturday-morning paratha.''#and like obviously the idea isn't that your kids should be ungrateful im assuming that it's their behavior and overall respect thats thanks#but as someone who was raised thanking everyone for everything especially my parents no matter what it really stood out bc even little stuff#like that can make a huge difference yk? since I can remember white adults particularly my parents taught me i was a burden#and that their taking care of me was an act of kindness rather than a responsibility and I don't think it's some big conspiracy to make kids#feel horrible but it's not really teaching gratitude it's just teaching guilt#thats just one example tho#I also am at the extreme end of white cultural isolation (neither of my parents are close to their families we've never lived near them and#they specifically isolate us from everyone so the difference is a lot more drastic for me than it probably is a lot of other people#but when i hear ppl being close to their neighbors or anyone that lives near them i go a little insane with longing tbh#like what is that like? to grow up in an environment where your world is more than just your parents approval?#where there's some kind of insulation between you and all of your parents problems bc there is no one else#this was not a ramble with any kind of conclusion tho akehrjdhr#and once again I am absolutely not saying that child abuse is uniquely white bc. el em ey oh thats not how any of this works#it's just that white cultures view on children is sickening
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llycaons · 1 year ago
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I got mad about how genuinely pretentious and condescending people on here about things that honestly don't even matter that much and so I went oh I know and I went to a mutual in law's blog because I KNOW they have the exact same views as me on them but they articulate them so much better and bam I got like six posts in a row of excellent compassionate measured responses to the very mean-spirited and meaninglessly cruel culture on here surrounding 'anti-intellectualism' and also calling people virgins in a derogatory way. like thanks! gotta jet
#man I wish our interests overlapped more *salutes*#breaking point was someone reposting a meme celebrating thinking of fanon hcs to flesh out an underdeveloped character#and commenting it like 'wow I know this was a YA or anime' like you're just being a dick at this point. who is this hurting#I would have agreed with the og meme! not every character is well developed due to various constraints or the role they have#sometimes you get attached to stories with shallow characters but you love it anyway and you wanna develop them#ppl thinking up new material for them and having a good time is not the Death of Art you all are so nasty to others#like I fail to see the appeal in mocking that and this is coming FROM a hater#but there are so many ppl on here that are so needlessly judgemental and smug and self-righteous about having Correct Media Literacy#and like...I'm not going to say anyone should stop bc im not the website police but you're all so mean#I don't even have a stake in most of this I just don't think it's worth it to be cruel to other ppl over and I don't like ppl acting better#than others bc it's not like being into literature or like. 'highbrow' media is a moral imperative/morally good. it's just what you're into#the world exists outside of literature and plenty of people with trashy tastes have strengths and skills you couldn't even imagine#and even if they don't! having bad taste or being a bit stupid about media isn't a moral failing!#a woman I work with reads the court of thorns books for fun and she is a kinder and better and more skilled and intelligent person#than I will ever be. she has a stressful and very high-impact job and it's how she relaxes. it's fine. it's fine#cor.txt
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kateis-cakeis · 4 months ago
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people are really so weird and so fatphobic huh
(and oops most of my commentary is in the tags XD)
#people really out here acting like some chocolate is gonna kill you#idk maybe you should check how stats and data actually work and not just blindly trust things that get it wrong and such#because hate to break it to ya but increased risk does not equal absolute risk#it just increases the risk which is normally only by a small margin and doesnt mean anything in reality because it doesn't mean that it's#absolutely 100% going to happen that's not what risk or increased risk means#anyway this reminds of when a friend of mine took part in a study#and they were like oh yeah you have a 6% chance of a heart attack in the next 10 years#they asked if they lost weight would that decrease by a lot and the person was like uhh by like 1% it's really not the big deal everyone#makes it out to be people are just fatphobic because that's the society we've built that at all times you must be skinny#or you aren't worth anything or worse when people act like you're such a strain on the system#and that you dont deserve to have healthcare like i will scream#everyone needs to stop being so damn weird about it!!!!!!!!!!#it's literally fine it's so literally fine#you know actually thinking about increased risk with alcohol and smoking - to which is totally your choice and up to you btw#i knew someone who smoked like a chimney and drank like a fish and lived to his 70s and died of something completely unrelated#increased risk is just that increased by a certain percentage which is like not a lot in the grand scheme of things to really put it into#perspective when you have like 1 in 100 chance and the increased risk is 100% that just raises it to 2 in 100 which yes is just 1% to 2%#i will scream when people act like food is going to kill you - especially when it gets so bad people act like fruit is bad for you because#of sugar like i will cry i will start sobbing because all of this is why im pretty sure most people have disordered eating#if not full on eating disorders and that's the real concern how our attitudes make people change their behaviours and develop mental health#conditions because society is just so insistent on this one issue that you can't escape it's bad it's so bad and i hope one day#we get past all this and people can just live how they want without others getting on their backs#fatphobic people are the reason why so many people i know think they're worthless and ugly and i just that's so upsetting to me and yes yes#there's the major issues like doctors ignoring symptoms in favour of just lose weight! and then just send people into the world with 0 help#in that oh and oops now they've got an eating disorder when the problem in the first place was not weight <.<#and even if it was (which it rarely ever is) it's like okay where's the help then because there is no help and then study after study is#like oh btw dieting doesnt work lol and then what do you do what do you do im gonna start screaming hdfghsdfg#anyway sorry these tags are long im just so tired and so frustrated at the world and i hope one day people get over themselves
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violentdevotion · 2 years ago
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I had multiple dreams last night.
I had a bf </3
someone in my family got bit by a zombie </3
some guy made me explain narrative structure to him </3
#ameera speaks#1 expanded) it was someone ik in real life 😔 which sucks soooo bad anyway he was at mine and we were watching a movie in my bed on my#laptop < (loser behaviour) and okay so im lying by referring to him as my bf bc we were just friends in the dream but then he started like#acting well intimate and i wasnt not into it so i was like hey whats going on here and we had a talk and then i had to sneak him out of my#house. dream 2) zombie apocalypse im in my room my nephews and nieces come in and i usher them out. the world is the samw just + zombies.#like think covid when it was dire but schools were still open? (my dream was a commentary on the countries failures to manage covid) so i#usher my neohews and nieces out and i make a comment to my sister in law like ooh im scared one of them got bit and my nephew was like some#girl bit me at school today and i told his mum and i stayed in my room and like an hour later i rang her like whats the update#and she was like oh yeah and came into my room to find my journal on zombie stuff and sge was like should i just cut off his arm and i was#idk try but if that doesnt work youre gonna have to... and she was SO CASUALLL !!!! and as she was leaving she started like picking things#up off the floor and i made a comment like your sons dying and youre sweeping and she was like way harsh tai and i woke up#that one was a commentsry on covid and also how i might be too mean to my sister in laws sometimes#3) i was in a library with friends researching smth and some asian guy sits on our table turns his back to us and talks to his friends.#then he starts playing music loudly from his phone and i move back to my table and as im walking he stops me and starts talking to some#girl on the table next to mine who he knows and is like hey i have an assignment due where i have to write a compelling narrative from my#own life ur clever can u help and she was a stem girly and went highschool with me and she pointed at me like ask her she does english#and he was like no u just tell me and she started helping him but i felt the advice she was giving was.. bad. so i interrupted like dont#you think that you should do __ instead and we had a discussion about it till i woke up. < that dream was a commentary on how useless my#degree is and how i wish it wasnt useless
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six-of-ravens · 2 years ago
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actually I realized a lot of the IA stuff I've seen comes from self-pubbed authors (or rather, one self-pubbed author reblogging people who agree with them) who are like "well I simply think my work should be available to everyone for free."
that's great! but you can't make that decision for everyone. there are authors (trad pubbed or self pubbed) who write as a career, and need people to pay for their books so they can live. not everyone is working a day job and writing by night for the sheer joy of it, or has enough support through patreon or youtube ads or whatever to offer the fruits of their labour for free and just earn money off the process.
idk, it also reminds me of the "well, I deserve entertainment and luxuries in my life even though I can't afford them, so I'm going to pirate your book anyway and if you tell me not to it's discrimination and classism" argument from a few years back which also drives me nuts. use your library! your real actual library that bought the book for you! or find some other means of entertainment that's cheaper or free! your bad economic situation does not give you the right to steal from others, especially authors who are often also in a bad economic situation!
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wild-at-mind · 1 month ago
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Sometimes just from someone's username you know they would reblog a post that's like omg Trump will do genocide and Harris will do genocide but with emojis and memes!!
And then you see that they did in fact reblog the post and you're like ohhh can we stop pretending this is any kind of leftism.
#like- part of leftism is actually talking about things#e.g. the fact is that governments have all these complicated alliances with other countries#that each administration inherits- and in global wars this affects how they act towards each country#and yeah its fucking shitty! that all our world leaders will participate in wars! personally im anti war!#but this whole bleakism both sides are the same on foreign policy so we shouldnt fuckin bother voting#its not activism or care for human rights its nihilism#you can tell its not care for human rights because so many people like this idolise countries who#also are doing war crimes and terrorism and human rights abuse#and they dont really have a justification or argument for their admiration of these countries other than#'well this country is no different to [x western country] and you think that is ok riiight?'#i mean...if by ok you mean 'the country exists and will continue to exist and i live there and also vote there'#like...damning with faint praise#anyway look i have to admit i don't understand the social media aspect of us elections#the meme-y stuff that comes directly from the campaign trail- dont get it thats not a thing in the uk#but one thing i am absolutely certain of is that both sides do it!#anyway also dont reblog weird 'genocide- yaaas queen!' memes about kamala harris when you're white/non-black it makes you look racist.#also to continue the train of thought i abandoned (sorry)- i personally believe countries need leaders and anarchy will never happen#and the 'revolution' will not happen in our lifetime- its not a real revolution they are talking about anyway its some sort of internet one#where nothing goes awry and it all works out for the goodies (us tumblr leftists)#so given that someone is going to lead the us as president and no amount of not voting will change that- i say grow up#ur genocide memes are boring- to be quite frank on a site so focused on the day to day struggles of marginalised people#who live in western countries- no matter what the government does abroad you STILL should vote for the day to day#yeah some people online say voting makes you impure and complicit in genocide but the secret is you have to ignore thrm#youre just a fucking random you cant tell the president what to do about international conflict- give yourself a break yeesh
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yelloworangesoda · 8 months ago
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this got away from me
#i wish i was a rich pretty guy or something but instead im a regular looking regular guy with parents that earn regular money#i was born to be one of those annoying bratty rich kids who dont work ever. that should be me#or something. i complain about work constantly but guys i do not want to go to school. i dont. i dont. i dont i dont. i dont i dont and i#dont know what to do about it. its spring. ive got like a month to figure out how im getting out of this#im not doing this i cannot do this. i cant i cant i cant. im so stressed i can tell im so stressed bc im getting acne and my eczema is awfu#its only a matter of time before i break out in hives or some shit i cant do it i cant do it. i cant. i cant#god everything is really getting to me. i cant i dont have a place here i dont i have no purpose in life and everyone just wants me to act#like. thats not true bc um. well! haha what are you gonna do! haha its fine. keep moving forward. ignore your anxiety and the fact that#everything makes you miserable constantly. and even the things that make you happy make you miserable. ignore that#go to college. normal ppl go to college :) no you want to sleep all day because youre not doing anything. which is a personal failure.#you should instead do something that makes you miserable. thatll fix it. dont kill yourself thats stupid. you have so much to live for! lik#um. well youre supposed to live. so. ignore yknow everything in the world and push forward. bc it will get better! once um.#um. yknow. you graduate in 8 years? be a dentist…. um bc. you like teeth. and it makes money. and well you need the money! youre going to#college!!!! you need that money to pay for it after all. dont think about it dont think about it dont think about it dont think about it#its okay we’ll do everything we can to make it cheaper. to do the thing you dont want to do at all even a little bit. no dont kill yourself#you have so much to live for! a career in something youve never been interested in! or yknow a different career youre not interested in#i dont want to kill myself!!! i dont want to kill myself i want something to fucking live for!!!!!! a want a life that doesnt make me feel#like i have to kill myself!!!!!!!!!!#simons spouting#vent :(#suicide //
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knaveofmogadore · 8 months ago
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Kfkdks
#messages from knave#im making breakfast and im gonna list my observations from three years of weird living situations#younger siblings of big age gaps will see most interactions as a form of soft combat until trained out of it#but when actual clmbat happens they're used to not having any sway so they don't actually know how to act in arguments#siblings with codependent relationships have their own internal langauge that they apply to others. not sure if they realize they do it#but they'll hold you to the same rules they've mentally created for each other without explaining them#siblings of ALL stripes will approach situations with a set idea of how communication works. and even if it's not a logical way to communica#they'll expect you to also communicate in that way. and if you can't or refuse they'll shut down and communication stalls completely because#they can't fathom doing it any other way except the way they and their siblings socialized each other to do it#siblings with adversarial relationships don't take outside advice and will take attempts to give advice as manipulative. not their fault#oldest siblings are the most conflict averse people on the planet. oldest sinlings say#'is anyone gonna balloon this situation out of proportion by avoiding it for as long as possible' and not wait for an answer#siblings who were regularly appointed as hall monitors will see any interaction with you as transactional#a hallmark of a dysfunctional sibljng relationship is someone who thinks telling you NO is worse than going through a situation they do not#wanna be in. and then they'll complain about it endlessly#and then they'll be like 'i don't want favours from my parents because they'll hold it over me' and never make the connection on their own#people cannot anticipate your needs with their minds. they are sometimes going to ask you to be a part of things you don't wanna#you're NEVER gonna be able to live in a world where people will stop asking you to be a part of things that's not feasible#had one say once 'people should just know not to ask me along for plans I can't get to people should know not to invite me'#and you know dude that's just now how stuff works. there's a difference between 'x cant drive so they can't help me move my dresser' and#'i know xs work schedule so i shouldnt infomr them of group plansnon the off chance they could make it so they don't feel left out'#people with hyper competitive siblings can't fathom that other people won't know how to do stuff. i don't just mean athletes but siblings#with that scarcity mindsetnin general like they can't handle people not having the same knowledge base they have. it's a survival thing#and NO having a life of suffering doesn't make you correct all the time has literally anyone else watched heathers#youngest siblings always have the most deranged dating stories and the oldest in a set of age gap siblings always has the WORST taste in men#< that's directed at my sister and no one else that's a personal diss not a real observation#only children have one thing. theyre SUPER weird about splitting the grocery bill#food is NOT communal to only children I've learned firsthand. Also they'll be perfectly fine sharing anything else BUT food usually#weed. loans. bathroom supplies. dishes. ect. but NOT food#meanwhile sibljngs are a little TOO comfortable chowing down on stuff they didn't buy. bad roommates are bad roommates
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pastel-peach-writes · 6 months ago
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Hello! I adore your writing. Can I request a fic with female arcane characters when they have a touch starved gf? (Definitely asking for a friend ahah 😅)
RAHHH. ARCANE LADIES LETS GOOO. tbh, im not that in tune with Mel and Sevika as characters so they may be OOC. Thanks for requesting!
Arcane Ladies w/A Touch-Starved Reader | Headcanons
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╰┈➤ PLOT: Headcanons of Jinx, Vi, Caitlyn, Mel, and Sevika with a touch-starved lover and/or discovering said trait.
╰┈➤ WARNINGS: Lower Case Intended (Kinda?), Suggestive Themes (Mel/Sevika), Not Proofread, Short
⍣ ೋ Enjoy!⍣ ೋ
JINX ᝰ๋࣭𝜗᭡
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- In a romantic setting (or really any setting), Jinx is touch-starved herself.
- when taking hostages or messing with those in her way, she will often touch them such as stroking her nail along their jawline or grabbing their chin when they're hurt and on their last limb.
- now she does this not because she's a bit insane and wants to add salt to their wounds but because she's curious. "What would this feel like?" "What would happen if I do this?"
- Much like most things in her life, curiosity is the main thing that gets her into trouble
- in terms of touching, you're not exempt from her touching curiosity.
- she'll drag her nails along your spine. cup your cheek and chin, and squeeze you like the baby you are to her.
- it's not until you linger after a hug that she notices your touch-starved like her
– since that moment, she made a mental note to cuddle you, kiss you, or poke at you more
– even if you tell her to stop annoying you or that she should focus on her work and not mess with you, she'll continue to poke and hold you.
– why? well because you're smiling through your complaints and she can't get over that smile you try to hide when you let yourself melt in her touch
–––
VI メ
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– much like her sister, Vi is touch-starved herself.
– y'all saw how she acted with Caitlyn and when she reunited with Jinx. She was all OVER them. With you, she's the exact same
– With her, you're more reluctant with touch. You want to hug her, cuddle with her, cling onto her like the clingy thing you are but you're scared to.
– you didn't grow up in an environment where that was normalized so it was out of your comfort zone to go out and cling to someone.
– in the beginning of your relationship, Vi was touchy until she noticed you weren't super comfortable with it.
– when she noticed, she had a discussion with you. – "Hey, are you comfortable with me hugging you 'n stuff? I noticed you get kinda tense when I first hug you." She'll ask you on a random night in the living room. You were hesitant at first, wanting to immediately ease her insecurities and tell her everything was fine.
– But if you lied, even if the lie was more a half-truth, your initial reaction to her touch would be the same. Tense at first then ease seconds into the touch.
– So, because you couldn't do anything but bite the bud, you told her
– Since telling, Vi said she'll help you work on getting more comfortable with touch.
– She'll even tease you when she notices you're more hesitant than normal.
– "Oh, come on," she'll tease you with her arms squeezing around your torso and your cheeks smushing to another. "You know you love it! Ease up, Mufifn."
–––
CAITLYN ᯓ
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- With Caitlyn, you literally CANNOT get off of her. Can't blame you though.
- 6' foot something to cling onto? YUM.
- Caitlyn didn't mind your touchiness. She assumed you were that way so she didn't think anything of it.
- It wasn't until she met your family that she saw that your touchy side is something you keep hidden from your family, if not the world.
- You were so stiff around them, uncomfortable dare she say. You kept to yourself, restricted that pretty smile of yours, and you wouldn't let yourself ease into her touch.
- At home, she brought this up to you and you told her that being affectionate wasn't something your family did. To them, holding each other, hugging, expressing hellos and goodbyes with kisses was weird. Unfortunately for you, you're a naturally touchy person so you had to keep that part of you concealed.
- Caitlyn didn't like the thought of you hiding yourself from your blood kin. You didn't deserve that treatment so at home, after the event, Caitlyn went out of her way to be more touchy with you.
- she cradled your head when cuddling on the couch, gave you kisses on the cheek, and when she complimented you on something or congratulated you, she kissed the top of your head while giving you a polite squeeze.
– being super-duper-mushy-gushy-affectionate wasn't something she wasn't used to but she'll do anything for you. Plus, a couple extra kisses and squeezes haven't killed her yet.
–––
MEL౨ৎ
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- You didn't care about touch all that much before your relationship with Mel. At the start of your relationship, you and Mel were younger so you had fewer responsibilities. All your free time, literally all of it, you guys spent with each other
- walking arm-in-arm while shopping, resting on each other on hot Summer days with your feet in a body of water, and mindlessly playing with each other's clothes or hair during late-night talks.
- but as she got busier, you saw her less, and seeing her less meant fewer touches.
- Mel wouldn't call herself touch-starved but starved for your touch.
– She'll miss your lingering touches on her fingers while you lay in bed, your lips on her back as you held each other, and your face in the crook of her neck.
– In a way, you both were touch-starved for each other. Maybe even a different word but this is a PG-13 space LMAO.
– at night, you would wrap your limbs around her tight and in the morning, you'd cling even tighter. What do you mean it's time for her to go already? She just got in bed!! (it's been 7 hours.)
– with Mel, your touch-starving-ness doesn't go unnoticed. In fact, whenever there's a time she notices you're more touchy than normal, she'll make it up to you
– And you never once complained about her way of making it up to you.
–––
SEVIKA ⚠︎
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- oh lord, where do i start with this one, hm?
– One, Sevika loves the crap out of your touch-starved-ness. She won't admit this out loud but she thinks its the cutest thing in the world.
- She'll see you go in for a hug or maybe a wrap around her arm but then decide against it because of your own insecurities.
- Sometimes she'll take matters into her own hands and wrap her arm around you, pull you into her lap, or sneak a kiss on your cheek but other times she likes to make you suffer.
– "Mm, what was that?" she'll tease with a smirk on her lips. "Oh, did you want to hug me? Kiss me? Cling onto me or something?"
- Tbh, if you're with Sevika, you gotta be a little bit of a brat, right? right. So, you'll refuse the allegations she put on your name.
- That is until she pushes and pushes and boom. Like a perfectly boiled egg, your shell has been cracked and peeled, and the softness of your personality has been brought to light.
– with embarrassment plastered along your body and face, you'll do what you were too shy to before. (Cling, hug, kiss, etc).
- Sevika plays a big game but she loves it when you cling to her because just like you, she's a bit touch-starved too. The only touches she gets on a day-to-day basis are punches, kicks, etc.
- When you swallow your pride at home, you'll pull her down to your chest and hold her tight. She'll ask what's up but you'll just ignore her and she'll melt into your body like you intended.
WC: 1,229
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carebearbussy · 4 months ago
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𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙡𝙤𝙘𝙠𝙙𝙤𝙬𝙣
ᥫ᭡ 𝙨𝙮𝙥𝙣𝙤𝙥𝙨𝙞𝙨: 𝙞𝙣 𝙬𝙝𝙞𝙘𝙝… 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙨𝙣𝙚𝙖𝙠 𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙤𝙛 𝙨𝙪𝙠𝙪𝙣𝙖𝙨 𝙚𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙩𝙚 𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙢𝙞𝙙𝙙𝙡𝙚 𝙤𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙣𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩.
ᥫ᭡ 𝙥𝙖𝙞𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨: 𝙝𝙚𝙞𝙖𝙣 𝙚𝙧𝙖! 𝙨𝙪𝙠𝙪𝙣𝙖 𝙭 𝙛𝙚𝙢𝙖𝙡𝙚!𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧
ᥫ᭡ 𝙘𝙬: 𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙨𝙩, 𝙞𝙢𝙥𝙡𝙞𝙚𝙙 𝙙𝙚𝙖𝙩𝙝 (𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙙𝙖?), 𝙣𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙚𝙡𝙨𝙚 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮.
ᥫ᭡ 𝙬𝙘: 1.7k
𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙣𝙖 𝙨𝙚𝙚 𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙚? 𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚𝙨 𝙢𝙮 𝙢𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩
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✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ .  ⁺   . ✦✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ .  ⁺   . ✦✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ .  ⁺  
It was morning, as you were seated at a large gazebo with the very few concubines whom you had respect for. You drank the tea a maid had gotten for you, as you took small bites of pastry from the treat stand in the middle of the round table. The greenery of the courtyard made the day all the much better.
These concubines were also some of the few Sukuna had approved of you being around, so it felt nice to have some sense of normalcy. The girls all admired you, and the love their lord had for you. As the conversation went on, the talks ranged from talking about how great Lord Sukuna was, all the way to asking you personal questions. Until one of the younger concubines asked you a peculiar question.
"Have you ever tried sneaking out, Y/N?"
It rolled off her tongue out of sheer curiosity. "Yes, please tell us!", another one spoke up. The girls sitting around you looked ready for your answer. But you were dumbfounded at that thought. "No, I haven't." You answered, not wanting to even think about that. Sneaking out? Sure, you had your freedoms with Sukuna, but you never got to go out alone before. You wondered what it would be like, after all, and all the great things you could do. Shopping? Seeing your family on your own? Even for one night would really be something to wonder about.
"Really? Im suprised, considering how much Lord Sukuna dotes over you." An older one spoke, acting as more of a parental figure in the estate for you. "I guess... but I never really thought of that. And I don't really want to know what would happen if I were to ever do that." You spoke, searching for opinions from the other girls. "Maybe you should try! We can help you!" Another younger concubine spoke enthusiastically. "We can have a private girls trip!"
Private? Girls night? Those two things didn't sound appealing, especially to somebody in your position. Ever since Sukuna had taken a sudden liking to you, your world of privacy was thrown out the window. Everything seemed to involve him somehow, even when he was not present. A look of distain crosses your face, as you overthink everything.
"Please Y/N! We wont get caught I promise! How about tonight? We can all make preparations, while you just sit back and let us do the work!" And with that, everybody else seemed to agree. Besides, what complete harm could sneaking out for one night do?
✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ .  ⁺   . ✦✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ .  ⁺   . ✦✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ .  ⁺  
It was the covet of night, as Sukuna had just fallen into deep sleep. His arms were securely wrapped around your body, as you layed on top of his. You blew onto his eyes, just to check to see if he was truly asleep. No reaction. You felt his chest rise and fall with each breath, indicating he had to ill feeling you would try to leave. When he was asleep, it was usually very difficult to escape his grasp. Even when you needed to use the restroom, he would refuse to let you go in most cases.
You ever so slightly slid off of his body, using your hands to try and pry yourself free. You had gotten his top set of hands off your back, but as you were about to fully escape, you heard a low voice.
"Where do you think you are going?" He asked you, only opening his lower set of eyes. You felt your whole body heat up in a nervous mess. "I-was just using the restroom." You say, as your voice starts to crack a bit. "... have one of your servants go with you, like always." He says, while squinting at you. "Don't make me wake up again, brat." And with that, he calls for a servant, thankfully being your close friend in the estate, Miko.
He watches as you move towards the bathroom, and now confirming you were indeed going to the bathroom, he falls back asleep before saying, "And be quick."
As he falls asleep, you and Miko head to pack your belongings into a large bag, making sure to pack all of your essentials. Tip-toeing towards the door, you watch Sukuna with every step, worrying he might wake up and surprise you out of nowhere. But your fears are overtaken with confidence, as you have now reached the sliding shoji doors that lead to the first part of the courtyard. You give Miko a glance, before slowly opening the door, making sure not to wake up Sukuna.
As you open the door, you see the moonlight shine upon the estate, and reflecting on the large fountain in the middle. You had never been out here on your own, really. It was refreshing to be here so late. You stood by the door for a good while, before Miko spoke up.
"Y/N, whats wrong?" She asked you, as she tugged on your hand to keep going forward. "Nothing- its just I have never been out at night alone." You say, as you look around at outside. It was beautiful outside. The air was chilly, but the wind kept at a steady pace, with your thin satin nightgown not helping the chilly air. The wind blew your hair slightly out of your face, letting you get a better view of the outside.
"But you aren't alone, you're with me! And plus, we still have to meet up with the rest of the ladies, so lets go!" Miko says, her head slightly tilted. "Yeah, your right." You say, as Miko leads the way.
✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ .  ⁺   . ✦✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ .  ⁺   . ✦✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ .  ⁺  
You arrived near the front gate, but far enough to not be seen by the guards. The guards have been given strict orders to return you if you were ever to be caught sneaking out. And you knew this. You and the group of concubines sat near the bench, talking about your escape plan quietly. In the back, you can hear the crickets buzzing as the night goes on.
"Okay so, whats the plan?" You asked, causing all of the girls to look over at each other in disappointment. "So your telling me, you made me sneak out in the middle of the night, just for all of you to not know what to do?" You asked frantically, but still whispering. "Okay okay, calm down. We are not going to get caught, especially for how far we have gotten." The older one spoke up. "Exactly! We have gotten so far, we cant stop now." Miko spoke up, lightly rubbing your shoulder.
You start to overthink all of the possibilities in one moment. Will he yell at you? Kill you? No, he could never do that, but the thought of that makes your mind go fuzzy in a way you cannot explain.
"I don't know guys, we should just go back-" Your words are interrupted when you bump into a particularly large wall. Wall? No, this was Sukuna. You drop your bags, as all the respect in your body is put forward.
"Oh? What do we have here?" Sukuna says condescendingly. In an instant, everybody in his vicinity including you cowers to their feet to bow, leaving no room for questions. Behind Sukuna, who was towering over everybody menacingly, was Uraume, as well as a couple guards huddled behind Uraume. Sukuna proceeds to pick you up by the nightgown, as you dangle while looking into his eyes, causing you to shut your eyes out of pure fear.
"Im sorry 'Kuna, i'm so sorry-" "Sorry for? Its clearly not your fault, but these incompetent women you call your friends. Clearly I need to keep better watch." He says, then glaring down at the set of women before him. He scoffs at them, before he hoists you over his shoulder, holding you on there with one hand on your ass, and another wrapped securely around your back.
"Uraume, take care of these women, and make sure they stay clear of Y/N in the future." He says, before turning the other way, walking off with you back to bed. How did he know? You were sure to cover your tracks well. But this confirmed your suspicions, you really couldn't hide from Sukunas grasp. "Right away, my lord." Uraume replied, as they made a flick of the hands, signaling the guards to do their job.
As you are steered away from the scene, you get a good look of your group of friends being halled away by the guards. But Sukuna does not like ruining the image he had gone out of his way to make for you, so he covers your eyes with one of his free hands. You try to move his hands away from your eyes, but to no avail. "What are you doing with them? Where are you taking me?" You say, kicking your feet at his chest, but the mouth on his stomach catches your foot.
"Back to bed, where you belong. And then i'm going to teach you about the things that happen when you try to pull stunts like this."
What. What did he mean by that? "What made you think I would not find out about such trivial things? You are horrible at hiding things from your king, brat." He says, with a 'tsk'. "I said I was sorry, just please!" You said, a look of concern evident on your face. "Please don't hurt my friends!"
"Friends? There is no need for those anymore, now that I know their intentions, must have not been some very good 'friends' if they were planning on leading you away from me."
The walk back to your bedroom is quiet, mostly consisting of your heartbeat racing, the only thing keeping your mind steady are the steps of Sukunas strides. As he reaches the front steps, he places you down on the ground with care. His stature towers over yours, as he reaches out to place a hand on your chin, forcing you to look back up at him, the moonlight reflecting behind him.
"I do not know where you were planning on going, but you wont get very far without me, just so we're clear."
✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ .  ⁺   . ✦✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ .  ⁺   . ✦✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ .  ⁺  
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yeahxsurexokay13 · 6 months ago
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ideal weekend, lando norris
summary: while fans stress about the fact that, following their breakup, the actress won't be there to witness the driver's first ever f1 win, y/n gets asked about her ideal weekend off in an interview and accidentally manifests it [actress!reader]
warnings: i think only very bad editing (i tried) and me bringing up yet another footballer i feel affection for for literally no reason
fc: madelyn cline
started this as something completely different from what it ended up being but i think i like it. i'd love it if you let me know what you think tho (((:
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y/n.y/l
📍miami
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Liked by rudeth and 1.059.326 others
y/n.y/l yet another victim of a @/maxverstappen1 win. had so much fun but i think i'll just stick to acting 🙃🙃🫠 thank you @/redbullracing for having me!!! <333
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username at a red bull event? what happened to once a mclaren girl always a mclaren girl????
username this event was basically work for her ?? you ppl need to stop taking everything so personally omg
username professional SUPER FAST driver, part time actress ❤️ by author
username you're in miami the same week of the miami gp. coincidence? i think not 😌😌
username GORGEOUS GORGEOUS GIRL
redbullracing Glad you had fun Y/n! Maybe we should start considering you for a guest appearance in our garage 😉
mclaren Thanks for the offer, Red Bull! But we've already got dibs on her 😉
username UM I HOPE THIS ISN'T A JOKE ??
username don't play with me like this admin!!
mclaren Don't worry. We won't hold this against you 🧡
y/n.y/l ily guys 🧡🧡🧡
username Ok cool now go finish season 4
username Why are u in Miami shouldn’t u be filming obx 4 😪
y/n.y/l side quest
username not the Y/n x F1 content I was hoping for but at this point I'll take what I can get
maxverstappen1 Next time I'll give you a head start. Enjoyed having you with us, Y/n 🫶
y/n.y/l there will definitely not be a next time but thanks tho!!!👍🏼 always a pleasure seeing you ❤️
username pretty 🩷
username Why is Max literally this🧍🏼‍♂️❤️ by author
landonorris Um what's this?
y/n.y/l 😶 not what it looks like
username seeing you two banter like this makes my heart ache 💔
username i'm never moving on from y/nlando sigh
username OBX S4 WHEN QUEEN
29 April 2024
mclaren added to their story
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y/n.y/l
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Liked by maxfewtrell and 1.890.345 others
y/n.y/l me and FORMULA 1 RACE WINNER lando norris
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username JUST WHEN I THOUGHT TODAY COULDN'T GET ANY BETTER OMFG
username formula 1 race winner lando norris has a nice ring to it 😉 ❤️ by author
username What a race, and what a win for Lando!!!
username IM LOSING IT YALL I JUST CHECKED OUT OF CURIOSITY AND BRIGHTON ALSO WON TODAY Y/N MANIFESTED HER IDEAL SUNDAY
username minus the relaxing part lol i know for a fact bestie was stressing in that garage
carlossainz55 It's great to see you back at a race! Missed having you around! ❤️
y/n.y/l thank you carlitos ❤️ wish i could've got to see you up there with lando
charles_leclerc ouch ? 🫤
y/n.y/l noooo, i didn't mean you!!! x
maxverstappen1 ouch?
y/n.y/l i did mean you. sorry /:
username are we back in 2022 and i didn't realise?????? not complaining at all tho
mclaren You and FORMULA 1 RACE WINNER Lando Norris look amazing! 🧡 ❤️ by author
username admin definitely ships
username children of divorce rise !!!!!!! ❤️ by author
username u think u're so funny liking this @.y/n.y/n but we're actually hurting we want our mum back!!!
username seeing you celebrate with lando was everything 🥹🥹🥹
username when i tell you i sCREAMED !!!!!!
username Everything in the world has been healed due to this post
oscarpiastri Awesome that you could come watch. Missed you ❤️
y/n.y/l missed you more pastry boy ❤️❤️
username we were robbed from this friendship !!!😪
username can't believe how emotional I am seeing you two together at his big win
francisca.cgomes ❤️❤️❤️ ❤️ by author
username just realised i am not as over y/nlando as i thought i was. in fact i am not over y/nlando at all.
username well seeing you with FORMULA 1 RACE WINNER Lando Norris just hit me right in the feels💔
landonorris Thanks for being there to share the moment with us ❤️ ❤️ by author
landonorris Also I think after this you might now have to come to every race ever
y/n.y/l clearing my schedule as we speak 🫡
username i am so ready to be delusional
05 May 2024
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jellyfemmedyke · 7 months ago
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is it just me or is the "trans guys are just some boring guys and they make lame music and trans women are cool and interesting and make loud music" jokes almost like. an excuse for why theres not that many trans guys who are popular content creators or musicians or actors or authors or what have you. like blaming the invisibility of trans men on being "boring" and therefore not doing anything rather than oppression.
not to mention the example of music being that people have heard of one singular trans guy who works in a genre they dont like [people really love to act like cavetown is like specifically bad or cringe but thats just what most indie pop/rock/folk sounds like] and theyve heard of a handful of trans women who make hyperpop that they already like [and laura jane grace of course] and its really telling on themselves. theres trans guys making hyperpop and trans women making ""lame ukulele music"" and both of them and nonbinary people making music of tons of other genres. like. cmon. it reminds me of xkcd 385.
also i dont think these jokes are intentionally malicious or anything [most of the time] but it also feels sort of weird to be joking about how boring a group of marginalized people are. im not going to act like its the biggest deal in the world but its sort of low level bullying, innit? and i imagine having this weird expectation to be "cool and interesting" isnt fun for trans women either. its nice to get to be lame sometimes.
Yeah it's super weird, especially because it's repeated over and over, that part is the suspicious part. I even saw it on reddit a few days ago in one of the ftm subs. I do think it's like blaming the lack of trans men artists on trans men being "boring" instead of, you know the bigotry, the erasure, the inequality I think it's also a weird expectation that we all HAVE to live up to what other people think of as "cool" like if we're all not making hardcore metal and being as "SICK" as humanly possible, we are failing at transgender music and therefore are the reason trans men aren't represented as artists enough, which is ummm. okay.
why can't we make soft love songs about being bugs, or whatever. What happens to trans women who don't live up to the metal hardcore aesthetic? Look at Dylan Mulvaney. She made a dumb cutsie girlypop song and everyone acted like she is the founder of misogyny herself. So not only are we ridiculed for the music we make, we're trapped in transphobic expectations of what music we can or should make.
If you expect all trans women to make metal, you'll only see trans women who make metal, if you expect all trans men to make soft music, that's all you'll find! because that's all you looked for! Another thing is like, Oh all trans women music is cool and hardcore rock and roll, but trans men music is dumb and cutsie ukulele music? I wonder what gender those genres are normally associate with? Uhoh we're doing a sexism maybe the person making the joke doesn't have malicious intent, but the joke itself sure does.
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afterglowsainz · 1 month ago
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we used to have more pt. 4 | oscar piastri, pato o’ward
part 1 part 2 part 3
pairing: oscar piastri x reader, pato o’ward x reader
summary: where a talk in a hotel room and a work trip to mexico make things clear for you
fc: different girls from pinterest
warnings: mentions of toxic relationships
a/n: ahhh sorry it took me a while to post this! but finally here it is the last part of this mini series that i loved creating <3 thank you so so much for supporting it the way you did, all the comments, reblogs and likes meant the world to me while writing it💗
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yourusername home sweet home
tagged lissiemackintosh
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username dry ass caption
username girlie is NOT happy to be back
username y/n i know you wanted to stay in america but you can at least act a little bit more excited to be back 😭
username the fact it was sunny all weekend and she posted a pic of the only HOUR of rain is diabolical
declanmurray you can at least pretend
yourusername i’m not contractually obligated to
username pls 😭
username idc she’s down MOTHER IS BACK
oscarpiastri happy you’re back! ❤️
username chat when the guy you’re off and on for years says he’s happy you’re back how to do you react?
username ohhh but we’re having THE fashion icon that is y/n again at the paddock i cannot complain
patriciooward have fun!
yourusername <3333
username pls the way she ignored oscar so severely 😭
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liked by yourusername, milesbaldwin and others
patriciooward can never say no to a side quest
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username NORBIIII 🥰
username every photo was whiplash after whiplash
username incredibly cute and incredibly hot
username don’t push girls
username i am that cookie actually
username i need him in a way that’s concerning for feminism
yourusername boys 🥹
patriciooward miss you!
username no they are my parents
username oscar i was rooting for you but now … i’m not so sure
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liked by patriciooward, maxverstappen1 and others
yourusername the prodigal son returns home 🇲🇽
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username omg is this a hard launch??? what is this !!!
username patoooo 💖
username the way you can see everything about her posting changed since she arrived in mexico
username is it wrong to assume it’s because she’s with pato again? 😩
username pato and y/n in mexico is everything
username ohhhh oscar reaaaally fumbled this time
username nahhh im being delusional thinking oscar still has an opportunity (pls y/n give him a chance 😩)
username well, at least she’s posting again 🥳
patriciooward ☀️
yourusername ☀️✨✨💫
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liked by indygossip, f1wags and others
f1gossip indycar and mclaren’s reserve driver patricio o’ward was seen last night having dinner and sharing a kiss with f1 community manager y/n y/l/n
it has been rumored for a few years that she was on a relationship on and off with mclaren’s oscar piastri, but it was never confirmed as the driver kept going back to his exgirlfriend
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username not oscar catching strays 😭😭
f1gossip 🤷🏽‍♀️
username honestly i can’t be mad about this. she deserves someone who makes her happy and pato obviously likes her. they look good together 💗
username THAT SHOULD BE MEEEE
username someone check on oscar 😩
username watch him go back to his exgirlfriend after hearing the news 🙄
username genuinely hoping he doesn’t do that otherwise he’s just reinforcing y/n’s decision of moving on
username anddd that relationship CANNOT be healthy, for either of them
username i knew they were together from day one, y’all were just blinded by oscar
username because they’re meant to be 😭😭
username in another life perhaps!
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patriciooward favorite place with the greatest company ❤️
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username ahhh the masters of hard launching i’m so here for this
username THE DRESS
username i don’t know if i wanna be pato or y/n in this situation
username okay don’t rub it in 😭
miguelsossa where’s my photo creds for the second one? 🤨
patriciooward 📷: miguelsossa
miguelsossa thanks it means a lot make sure to pin that comment so everyone can see
username pls why did i thought y/n and pato went out without the whole gang 😭
declanmurray HAH don’t make me laugh
milesbaldwin we do leave them alone sometimes
patriciooward …
lissiemackintosh 😮
username speechless at this
username i’m sure pato is a saint because dealing with y/n’s friends must be a handful 🙏🏽
yourusername beautiful 🤍
patriciooward how’s the weather now? :)
yourusername warm enough, you?
patriciooward clear skies
username STOP THEYRE SO CUTE 🥰
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liked by georgerussel63, exgirlfriend and others
oscarpiastri happy place ❤️
tagged exgirlfriend
comments for this post have been disabled
taglist; @heavy-vettel @a-beaverhausen @astroniii @chunkpiboli @theonottsbxtch @eclecticcreatorweaselsalad @charli123456789 @stopeatread @coriyaps @nina-or-anna-or-nora @ninasw0rld @loveelylani @marauders-wife @dramallama9 @mxdi0 @piastrigate @ladyoflynx @prudyhoo @idkwtdwml123 @southernbaguette @ellelabelle @emryb @fastfactory @comicalivy @seasonswinter @no-144444 @lunamelona @saachiep81 @nataliambc @patis643 @softtina @chemiru @obxstiles @eiaaasamantha @youre-on-your-ownkid @wcnorris @hwalllllllelujah @soleilgrec
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woodenanemone · 10 months ago
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choso was a full-grown man.
a man who takes cares of his brothers, is employed, and pays his taxes. a man who can share his ideas and his thoughts with professionalism and skill. a man who can admit when he’s wrong, who can let his resentment go for the better.
so imagine his confusion when he acts like nothing but a developing teenager when you were around him.
he truly felt like his body had relapsed back to puberty. he can’t control his sweat around you, he’s switched his deodorant three times before finding something long lasting enough (although he barely spends more than a couple hours around you a day, if even that, and yet he still manages to produce so much sweat—). he can barely make eye contact with you without feeling his face grow hot (shooting down his neck, goodness, he has to fan at his face soon or he'll start sweating and he just showered for you—), a tremble in his hands, a trip in his words. the sentences that so ridiculously tumble out of his mouth are ineligible and humiliating, as if he forgot every single word he’s ever learned.
he talks to himself often.
whether it’s him walking on the way back home from your hangout, or when he’s alone at work, choso talks to himself. he walks alone and speaks your name out loud, a small awkward smile on his lips (even hearing the splendid name from his own throat dusts his cheeks pink.). he rants and analyzes how physically impossible it was for anyone to be as lovely as you. frustrated muttered outbursts of his incompetence around you. questions about if he was normal, if what he was feeling was normal (he concluded no.). these thoughts are too much to be confined within his mind, overflowing so much at the seams, he was afraid he would accidentally speak them aloud to you. so, he verbally lets them out when he’s alone, before his mouth gets the best of him. he never feels further from sanity when he talks to himself. but since it’s about you, well… it makes him feel better pretty quickly.
he writes about you.
talking to himself and thinking about you only helped him so much. he still feels a nervousness in his chest, needing to convey these feelings in some other form. so, he started scribbling little notes about you on napkins at restaurants and cafes, soon throwing them away; but he soon garners a deep hatred for this. anything that reminds him of you, anything at all, whether it be from his own hand or out in the world, has to be cherished. If not, what sort of insult is it to you? so, he buys a notebook. it’s a small one, black and dull, pocket sized so he can write about you whenever he so pleases. the first few entries are sloppy and messy, hurried so he could get the thought out before it slips his mind. but he soon grew a hatred for this as well. even thoughts written about you must be written with such a delicacy and care, even though you’ll never see it.
012324
When you look at me,
I forget that this world is capable of hatred and misery.
How could a being so light and pure,
Exist next to a miserable soul such as I?
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the more i write about choso the less i feel i should be walking the streets as a free citizen. put me in a padded room, im not okay
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littletism · 6 months ago
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what my life is like as a permaregressor, and common misconceptions!
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cw: long post!
being a permaregressor i think is sometimes viewed as a want by a lot of people in the community. i see many posts of people saying they wish they were permaregressors, how awesome life would be to be one, etc.
and that's fine! im not here to tell you i hate my life as a permaregressor, far from it. but it's definitely not all sunshine and rainbows, at all.
for those who don't know, i am a teen permaregressor. bodily i am 20 years old, but i am permanently regressed to about 13-16. this means i never really leave this headspace. i never grew up.
so, what's it like? not really all that different from the life of any other adult, really. i'd say the big major differences are that i don't feel like i relate to any other adults around me, and i have a more childlike/naive view on a lot of things than other people my age. i'd say it pretty heavily affects my stress levels though. i am also wildly more immature than people my age.
do i have the ability to act my age? absolutely. masking is a thing permaregressors are more than capable of doing. i have to mask in order to get through life, especially as someone who works full time to provide for myself and help out my family with bills and such.
it's really hard being a permaregressor in the real world, though. i have a pretty busy life outside of tumblr, i work, i take care of my pets, i see my family often, i go out with friends often, i do the grocery shopping for the house by myself a lot of the time, etc! its really quite stressful to do all of these big adult tasks when you feel smaller than everyone around you.
one big problem i see permaregressors who are bodily adults face, is the constant Infantilization we receive, often from other regressors. because we never fully leave our headspaces, we're told we can't do adult things because we can't consent (ex; to things like alcohol or drugs or other adult stuff). this is horrendously untrue, and many of us do not want to be treated like we're actual children. many of us WANT to lead normal adult lives. of course i want to be treated like im little when im regressed to a toddler or a kiddo, of course i wouldn't want to do adult stuff in THOSE headspaces, because they aren't permanent! i'm stuck like this for the rest of my life, and i shouldn't let it define me or force me to be a certain way. im bodily an adult and therefore i expect to be treated like one when in my permaregressed headspace.
i truly do believe this community should be a bit more educated on permaregression. i think people definitely look at it with rose-colored glasses. i also hope no one, especially other permaregressors, found this post to be too pessimistic! i love being a permaregressor, and i think everyone who is one should be allowed to love being one as well.
xoxo
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velvetreds · 4 months ago
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hihihi congrats on 200 that’s so awesome n u deserve it im obsessed with ur work n writing style!! 🫶🏽 could i req 🐙🔥🍕 with suna rintaro :p congrats again!!!!
BAE GUESS WHO GOT IT DONE IN 12-14HRS u really skipped the queue.. i frothed at the mouth the entire time while writing this btw i need him so bad. um yeah. have ur man
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shameless — rintarō suna x gn!reader
wc: 1330 (short fic what.) || event
cws: swearing, kissing. that's it methinks. not proofread, may be ooc, suna flirts like a bitch and acts like one too.
you've liked rintarou suna forever. and now, you're lucky — or unlucky — enough to be living with him. damn your brother for being such an angel; suna had needed a place to stay, and of course your brother was the first to offer. now, you often find yourself alone with him, and you can't exactly complain, can you?
"good night," you murmur, getting off the couch. "i'm going to bed now."
you're already in your PJs, ready for bed. your brother isn't home, and suna is still sprawled across most of the couch, eyes glued to the TV. when he hears your words, he instantly loses the resting bitch face, lips curving up into a sly smile.
"'s not a good night unless you're here," he replies. "and you're leaving now, so..."
"have you no shame? flirting with your friend's younger sibling like this?" you cross your arms over your chest, glaring at him — trying to ignore the butterflies in your stomach.
"not really, no," his grin stretches impossibly wider.
"wow." you don't really know what to say, and suna snickers derisively.
what should you be saying? stop flirting with me? carry on flirting with me please i love you? you turn around again, and to your surprise, all the lights are off in the hallway. the light switches are at the other end of the hall, and you are deathly afraid of the dark. you look down helplessly at the book in your hands, then take a deep breath. "suna, can i borrow your phone?"
"what for?"
"um.. the lights are off, and—"
"the switches are right over there," he says, turning to look at you. "you can—"
something must be showing on your face because his eyes widen and he stops talking. "y/n, are you afraid of the dark?"
"no!" you reply too quickly, and he smiles, having gotten his answer. he pats the cushioned spot next to him. "sleep here, i'll get you to your room when i finish this."
you hesitate for a moment. should you?
fuck it. you roll your eyes — just for show — before plopping down beside him again. the force of your fall makes you bounce straight into his side, and your hand shoots out to grab the first thing it can reach — in this case, his shirt. you freeze for a moment, unsure of what to do. when you don't move, suna wraps his arm around your waist and shifts you to his lap, leaning you against his chest like it's the most natural thing in the world. the dark-coloured t-shirt stays bunched up in your hand.
"this okay?" he hums when you don't say anything. you nod against his chest, face aflame as heat spreads across your cheeks. he pulls his knees up to further secure you, right hand wrapped loosely around his left to hold you in place. your breaths are in sync, and as your consciousness slowly slips away and the noise of the TV becomes a comforting hum, you feel suna gently rest his head on top of yours.
"i love you," he whispers into your hair, and he presses his lips to the top of your head. suddenly, you're wide awake, hyper aware of everything around you — the TV, his arms around you, the firmness of his lean yet muscled torso — everything.
as soon as you consciously process his words, your head snaps up — and hits his face.
"ow, fuck," gasps suna, startled. you don't see any blood, but you did notice how loud the sound was, so it must've still been extremely painful. but you also notice how he doesn't even think of himself, turning to you with concern in his eyes. "you okay? bad dream?"
you shake your head, feeling slightly dazed. "you... love me?"
realisation dawns upon his face as he gets up, wincing suddenly. "i'll explain later, i—" he stops speaking, pointing at his mouth, and you nod in understanding.
"i'll help you take care of it," you volunteer. he shakes his head, no. this is ignored as you pull him to the kitchen, heedless of any further refusals. all the time, he is acutely aware of the way his hand feels in yours, and the nervous energy you radiate as you gently press the ice pack against his mouth, lower lip caught between your teeth in concentration. and while you're fixated on his lips, you don't know that he's fixated on yours too.
suna leans back against your headboard, tugging at the hem of his t-shirt distractedly. you clear your throat to get his attention, perched on the other end of your bed. looking up, he raises a brow at you, deadpanning, "what?"
"you love me," you say, uncertainly.
"isn't that what you heard?"
"well, yes, but—"
"then?" he scoffs. "have some faith in yourself, l/n."
you shoot him a half-hearted glare, and he smiles back in a way that's both gentle and extremely attractive, half lidded eyes boring into yours. "if you want to say something, say it."
you open your mouth to speak, but he interrupts you suddenly. "if you're worried about rejecting me or whatever, don't bother. i don't want to force you into anything, okay?"
his voice is flat with no inflections, no way of letting you know how he feels. you shake your head vehemently. "it's not that at all!"
"then?" he cocks a brow, tilting his head to one side quizzically.
"ilikeyoutoo."
"what was that?"
"i like you too," you say again, slower.
"sorry?"
you begin to say it again when you notice the devilish grin on his face; he'd already heard you loud and clear the first time around.
"fuck you," you say, crossing your arms exasperatedly with a huff.
suna snorts. "bet you'd like to, huh?"
the scandalised look on your blushing face is downright hilarious, and suna is laughing too hard notice you advancing on him with a pillow in your hands — or so you think, because as soon as you raise it over your head, he's pulling you down onto him by your waist with a wolfish smile. he cups your face with one large hand, the other splayed across the small of your back. his voice is annoyingly patronising as he speaks, and a complete contrast to the shit-eating grin on his face. "i play volleyball, baby. you can't just sneak up on me like that."
you roll your eyes, annoyed. or you were annoyed, because now you've noticed the lack of proximity between the two of you, and your mind has gone blank. and then he flicks your forehead sharply, bringing you back into reality muttering a string of curses.
"so," you begin.
"so." he repeats acting snide, although the fingers softly tracing patterns onto your back tell another story.
"i don't know," you admit.
"maybe we should kiss," he suggests. he's messing with you, you can tell by the droll twinkle in his eyes, but you decide to bite anyways.
"maybe we should."
his eyebrows lift up a little, almost imperceptibly. "do you want to?"
"if you want to," you confess, "i'm up for it."
for the second time that night, suna shifts you onto his lap again and kisses you again, although this time he likes it much better. he likes the feel of your lips on his, and he likes the way your hands tangle into his hair.
every movement of his oozes devotion; the way he kisses you is slow and fervent. if you were a god, he would be your loyalest worshipper. if you were a garden, he would spend every conscious second tending to its plants. if you loved him, he would give you the most romantic, passionate, flawless love story to ever have existed, happy ending and all.
and because you do love him, actually, you get to experience just that, courtesy of — although unbeknownst to you at that moment, the person you will go on to spend the rest of your life with — rintarou suna.
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thanks for reading n following!!
love,
hyena
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