#'their lives sucked really bad and they were sad or something so actually this is a better option and is super heroic'
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I am going to need that rewrite on my desk by tomorrow, 12 point font, times new roman, double spaced
noOOOOOO IT'S TOO MUCH WORK!!! I DON'T HAVE TIME AND I DON'T CARE ENOUGH........ girl help!
my rewrite where uhhhhhhhhhh. everything is the same except the writers actually care about female characters. a lot of decisions were made because of actresses no longer being available so plotlines like fish's are more or less the same but like, Ivy either gets to grow up normally or is never a child at the beginning to start with (you can go the weird plant body route if you have to keep her relatively younger since this is a prequel ig), and I don't... even know what to make of KK or Isabella, and Sofia should just be fucking. dont tell me there isn't a single female italian bodybuilder who can act, I don't believe you. let her be buff. let her take up space. let her be huge and wear vintage fashion.
also Oswald is fat and trans
#the problem is that largely i think gotham should suck ass#the only thing that really drives me up the fucking wall is the like. obvious sexism#every fully disposable female character makes me evil#i dont know what they were on about the riddler fangirl and i've chosen not to examine it bc i suspect you had to be there#in order to understand what whoever wrote that was mad about specifically. i can't stand that shit#'we have to openly mock some actually harmless aspect of our fanbase' ok but can you do it without being weird and sexist '🧍♂️'#but generally? the Stupid plotlines the Really dumb crap#whatever the fuck gordon is doing from episode to episode#...it builds character. i wasn't paying attention to most of it anyway#hey real quick look me in the eyes#there was something there. i hate the galavan arc so much but there was something there.#a sympathy. a kinship between tabitha and silver. tabitha was groomed for a role the same way silver is being groomed and she recognizes#the childish desire to please authority figures in their stupid bullshit organization even though silver can't see it because she's still l#living in it#did you guys see that? because i saw it#and it's in the middle of like. one of the worst arcs in the show#(the arc is fine the actor who plays theo is just so like. he has no charisma at all and something is Off about the whole thing bc of it)#oh wait no yeah actually. the stuff with silver is kind of hard to watch bc it would be interesting if they wanted to examine it#but it's a stupid drama series so it's just a love triangle even though she's a pretty sad character even within the writing in this show#and silver never comes back. and she doesn't need to bc they wouldnt know how to treat her#but did you guys see that too?#I like tabitha#anyway that arc is bad but i do think sometimes about silver saying 'my favorite animal is a dolphin bc they're magic'#and for a second bruce forgets the situation and looks like he's going to snap#exclusively because she said something factually incorrect about an animal#what was i talking about again
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I never tried the option myself bc it'd probably mean skipping the Reason You Suck speech at the end (fire for speedrunners though) but I Love that you can frame your Phoneys in 3, especially so if you've already killed the previous two. Like yeah couldn't send you off to die so i'll let the goverment do it for me 🧸 like its just Peak evil imo.
#luly talks#i do relinquish in the pain and the agony but dont get me wrong the thought of any of them 3 getting jailed makes me SO sad#rog esp since he's the one im writing about and the biggest nerve wreck#gingi voice they'll be the last one to pick the board game for prison-game-night..........#actually yknow i wonder if rog would end up almost believing it after all when you try to gaslight him for the shits and giggles#(as in: telling HE was victim of the bite of 87 and the like) he tells you to not do that bc his brain is already scrambled or something#so there's a chance perhaps he'd believe it if he had everyone constantly accussing him of it?#not like it'd matter much i have no hopes for the dsaf justice system i know its been 35 years since jack got framed but still#i just remembered when the option popped up i said ''god im really becoming steven 😭''#first time i made the joke too was when i said ''imagine your boss sucks so bad you turn suicidal'' no clue what the context was#OH YEAH JAKE SAYING HE'D RATHER FUCKING DIE THAN KEEP WORKING HERE yeah. poor guy.#anyway im derailing my own post again uhhh. yeah. yeah i dont trust any phoney is avoiding the death sentence#dsaf#roger jones#dsaf roger#btw just for the sake of yapping longer i truly cant decide whether harry or jake would survive better in the enviroment#probably jake to be honest. I mean Harry has a lot of experience inside freddy's but he didnt really live outside it muhc#jake is so confrontational though#hey did you guys watch the hit movie felon? sure that guy wasn't framed but. i feel like jake would end up w that attitude#except for. you know. everything else that happens in the hit movie felon.#hey actually forget about this game go watch the 10/10 movie Felon from 2008 starring Val Kilmer and Stephen Dorff#because its one of my all time fave movies and probably the saddest i've seen#not bc there arent movies that are more tragic but bc no movie was able to break thru my walls of idgaf and make me cry anyway#yeah you thought i couldnt bring up my movie fixations on my different fandom posts well you were WRONG in fact#im gonna go tag my other post i left untagged yesterday bc my ass was Cooking
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Personally of the belief that live action fans who go onto animanga posts uninvited like 'I DESPERATELY NEED YOU TO KNOW THAT I THINK THE ART STYLE IS UGLY EVEN THO THIS OPINION IS IRRELEVANT TO THE POST' should be hit with a big rock. We already moved past this ten years ago, get with it or get lost. Swallow the hunger inside of you that demands everything be palatable to you. Maybe you could stand to be a little uncomfortable for a while
#Keep ur trashy comments to yourself#It's not even ugly! It's just not the conventional anime style so you deem it ugly. That's so fucking sad of you#You're the type of person who sees a piece of art and is like OMG WERE THEY ON DRUGS?!?!?!?!?!#Idk I think the art style is very fitting for the gigantic world Oda has built#People are allowed to be ''ugly'' because not all of us were born to be models. Shock and horror I know#(this is NOT aimed at the ppl who critque the way Oda draws women (to a degree...) bc I agree he could've done the same for women as he doe#The men by giving them way more diverse features and body shapes)#No this is aimed at the ppl who think the style as a whole is ugly and demean it bc it doesn't suit their tastes#Meanwhile their taste is the most conventional cookie cutter bland pretty boy/girl bullshit out there#(I say to a degree up there bc I think ppl go way too far with the criticisms like the one person who posted the Charlotte family identical#Sisters and went LOOK HOW SIMILAR THESE WOMEN ARE ODA SUCKS when they were MEANT to look similar)#^ yes that is an actual post I saw in like 2018 or 2019 when WCI was reaching its end in the anime and it made me die laughing#There are dozens of other examples you could've given but no. You intentionally chose the triplets (quintuplets? It's been a hot minute)#Rebecca and Nami and Vivi and Shirahoshi all having the exact same face with different hair? No I will use the identical twins as proof#What a unique way to undermine your own argument bc I was with you up until that#Anyway yeah the more I think abt the more I think the live action sucks actually for getting rid of Sanji's eyebrows bc they'd 'look bad'#Who cares? It's part of his design. You are cutting off parts of his character. Same w/ Usopp's nose.#Who fucking cares if it would have looked 'bad' or 'ugly'? Is that all you guys really care about? Keeping up appearances???#I'm so sick of the shit I like getting 'remade' to appeal to people who will never actually appreciate why stuff looks the way it does#It's so shallow I hate it#<- yes I'm still bitter about what they did to my boy WW in the three guns reboot iykyk#And Livio and Razlo for that matter. What the FUCK was that about#Idk maybe it's cuz it's something I recognized in myself and attempted to squash so it's frustrating seeing other ppl do it#And again obvs Oda isn't perfect w/ this either as he draws evil women as fat old hags and his protags as skinny and beautiful#Or how he thinks not following ur dreams will make u ugly and fat and following ur dreams will make u conventionally attractive#I get it. Storytelling method. But u can do better. Use colorschemes instead of physical attributes or something like Veneer does
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can writers stop amounting their characters to such a husk of themselves that them literally killing themselves for no reason is considered a good death
#suicide mention#technically?#can you guess whom this is about#I'll give you two guesses and both of them are probably right if you know me well enough#did you guess gojo and also crowley from supernatural for some reason?? well if so.. ding ding ding!#correct answer!!!#like sorry you're all terrible writers but uhhhh no it's not satisfying for a character to die doing LITERALLY nothing#and sacrifice themselves just for the sake of getting them out of the narrative#how do you fuck up so bad that your message is 'suicide is the better option'#'their lives sucked really bad and they were sad or something so actually this is a better option and is super heroic'#just say you don't know how to write your own characters. just say those words for me you shitty writers.#admit it#stop trying to write 'dramatic plot altering sacrifices' when the only plot in question is one of your own contrivances#'well they were sad in life but don't worry!! they're dead as shit now :)'#wow what a good meaningful story. thank you I didn't look at it that way. I didn't realize suicide is so good as a backup#LIKE?!??#if you take two seconds to pick apart the narratives this is the message that you find#and it's a bad message#can editors like.. stop this sometime#can any editor ever perhaps be allowed to say 'maybe write something less stupid and bad'#once again greed fma proves superior in that his sacrifice actually meant something and wasn't just a useless goddamn suicide#when your characters can avoid death through their actions but choose to die for.. some inexplicable reason#than that's just suicide lite lol#and no. shoehorning in that someone is just 'looking for a worthy opponent'#(as if you just watched kung fu panda last night and thought tai lung was the protagonist)#does not make their death ~~Meaningful~~~~~~#I wrote this rant in the tags bc I didn't wanna put it on people's dashes for real#and read mores bore me#read my tags if you want to see into the anger that festers in my soul because of poorly written characters from dumb media#I should stop liking characters other than greed. he's really the only character that ever matters
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i don’t think I’m like actually allowed to be happy or that I even know how to be anymore
#whimsy whispers#this isn’t me asking for permission to be happy by the way#it doesn’t matter if everyone in the world told me I was allowed to be happy I wouldn’t believe them and it wouldn’t make me like able to#suddenly be happy either#idk this post hasn’t got a point#everything just feels bad and hopeless and sad and idk what to do anymore when existing sucks so much and I know I’m never going to be happy#I just feel like I’m being suffocated or drowning or something#rn is actually a better day because I feel fairly empty which is far preferred for being in tears#like I just don’t know what to do at this point I feel so unhappy and unloved and alone and there’s nothing I can do#I can’t just fix anything I can’t just be happy I can’t make myself be loved I can’t do anything#all I can do is let each day pass by either feeling like it’s the end of the world and wishing that it really were or feeling empty#there’s no relief#it’s not that i want to be like this but I can’t help it#I want to be happy and loved and surrounded by people who love me but as I am I’m unfit for love and I honestly haven’t felt genuinely loved#I’m so long and at this point all I’m doing is making those around me feel worse so isn’t it best if I just stop being in peoples lives#so that’s what I’m up to now#I’ll be unhappy regardless but at least other people will hopefully be happier without me being so sad around them all the time#I make myself tired so I can only imagine how tired everyone else is of me
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── 𝐢 𝐬𝐞𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮;
pairing: simon ‘ghost’ riley x gn!reader
word count: 700
warnings: hurt/comfort
note: have you hugged your simon today? :3 (also on AO3)
summary: oh. he’s having those thoughts.
“Why are you with me?”
You turn around, tilting your head to the side, confused at his words. “You never liked grocery shopping, Simon.” Trying to hold his hand, you can see him flinch away, “So I came with you.”
He has lapses in memory, for sure. A lot of the time Simon lives in his own world, the one where he relives the most horrible moments of his life over and over; as he lives his real life on autopilot. But to your experience it had never been this bad. He had asked what day it is three times in a row, he had forgotten the address you’ve lived in for several years, his own birthday, favourite foods, but never where he is.
“No. I mean why are you with me, with me.”
Oh. He’s having those thoughts.
“Really Simon? At the groceries? Now?” You slowed your pace, waiting for him to catch up to you.
He looked down at the trolley he’s pushing, defeat written all over his body language.
“We’ll talk all about it at home, okay? Let’s just get some food right now. I’ll make that parsley butter you really like.”
“No.”
You were caught off guard, heartbeat spiking as he said it with a hard edge that you have never heard used towards you before. “You don’t want parsley butter?”
The resigned sigh you hear lasted for what seemed to be a full minute. “Just leave me alone.” His eyes focused on something far away.
It was your turn to sigh as you place whatever it is you were holding back onto the aisle and walk towards the front door to wait for him there.
That seemed to snap him out for a bit. His brain is so mean to him, and you know he doesn’t mean whatever it is he said, but you’re just so tired. Grabbing your hand, he looks at you, eyes red, and you know groceries will have to wait another day.
It’s odd, being with him. He exudes power and confidence when he’s with his friends, and yet he becomes a sad hopeless blob when he’s with you. You missed his boisterous personality, the man that tells dark jokes and puns every single sentence he could. Sometimes you wonder if you’re doing this to him. If you’re the villain in his life, sucking all the happiness out of him.
Walking him to the car empty handed, you placed yourself in the driver’s seat. You see him hunched on his seat, fists balled on his thighs, his mind is probably wandering somewhere horrible again.
“Simon can you face this way?” You gently requested.
The man did as told but looked at anything but you. He made a cutout of your outline with his eyes and you held the urge to laugh. You slowly put your hand up and hugged his neck, burying your face on that sweet junction on his collarbone. It took a long while before you felt his hands around your waist.
“M’sorry.” His voice a low whisper.
“Don’t apologise.” You patted the back of his head. He mirrored the motion by patting you on the waist with his thumb.
“Didn’t mean anything I said.” He sounded close to tears, “Didn’t actually want you to leave.”
You nodded sympathetically, “I know those weren’t your thoughts, Simon.” You released your hold a bit and kissed him on the chin, the only place you could reach right now. “You’re not that kind of person.”
He shuddered against you, something akin to a sob tore through him; you didn’t know what else to do but wrap your arms tighter around him. You held that position for as long as you could, but ultimately you had to let go. His eyes searched yours, the sombre expression etched onto his face mellowed just a little bit as you felt your heart beats a little less painfully at the turmoil he seems to be facing. He leaned forwards as you sunk your forehead onto his chest.
“Can we continue shopping or do you wanna just order in?” You offered.
“Parsley butter.”
His nonsensical answer brought a smile back to your face. Now that’s your Simon.
#simon ghost riley x reader#simon riley x reader#ghost x reader#call of duty imagines#call of duty#scuffed writing
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Black Box Warning • Ellie Williams
☢️ toxic reader • toxic Ellie • bad for each other • sad reader • mentions of suicide • alcohol abuse • reader and Ellie are kind of rough with each other • grief ☢️
Main Masterlist • Ellie Williams Masterlist
The more of me you see, the less of me you’ll like.
You fucking hated Jackson. You hated starvation more so obviously you didn’t leave. But Jackson was the worst fucking thing that ever happened to you. It was everything your sister would’ve loved but she was dead in a forest in Virginia and here you were. The lone fucking survivor.
Jackson was full of happy people who laughed and smiled and enjoyed the normal life. Jackson was full of fucking actors. There was still a ravaged earth outside their walls and no dance nights in a run down bar would change that.
You went to them though because it was easier to get over served at the bar when it was crowded. Sometimes you’d actually get drunk before Seth cut you off.
There wasn’t much coming or going from Jackson, not in the six months you had lived there. There was a bit of fanfare when some girl showed up with a baby. She had used to live there and her kid belonged to the dead son of the school teacher.
You hadn’t stuck around to hear much more. You didn’t care. People died every fucking day, no one cared, not really or the world would stop. The world should pause for grief but it doesn’t. Sometimes you take a deep breath and you keep running.
Besides working and drinking, Jackson didn’t offer much in a way that let your exorcise your demons. Not until Ellie Williams returned and a couple of smart comments turned into a busted lip. Then you could taste the blood on her lips. Taste the sweat on her skin, taste her orgasm.
It wasn’t love. It wasn’t even like, not really. You ended up living together for convenience, she needed a room and you liked having access to fuck her when you needed to feel something.
There wasn’t a surface in that house that hadn’t been christened with nail gouging, biting, cursing sex. It was rough and ready and it never really helped. Not really.
A lot of people thought you were a couple. Ellie’s not-uncle Tommy thought it, Ellie’s not-right-now-not aunt Maria thought it, and Ellie’s ex girlfriend thought it. Neither of you corrected anyone. There was no point explaining how you both hurt each other to make yourself feel better.
“You were probably really good at this before you lost those fingers.” You told Ellie offhand and then gasped when her teeth punctured the skin of you bicep. “You’re like a fucking rabid dog, Jesus Christ.”
“Oh fuck off.” Ellie abandoned you across the arm of the sofa and you looked over your shoulder at her.
“You’re seriously going to stop?” You asked her, aghast. She only did that when she was really moody.
“Fuck off.”
You muttered under your breath as you pulled your jeans up. Ellie slammed out the door and you stared at the brown hunters’ jacket she had left behind her. The snow had fallen heavily and she had patrol today.
You had to walk by the stables to get to the watch tower and you pulled on your own jacket before grabbing hers and muttering under your breath. At the last minute you tossed the jacket back on the hook. She had left you hanging. Let her get fucking hypothermia.
You were half way to the stables when you met her doubling back and you weren’t too mature to laugh at her when she rolled her eyes at you. “Could’ve brought it.”
“Could’ve let me cum. Go fuck yourself, Williams.” You pulled your own coat tighter against the frozen drifts. When you arrived at the East gate you found your watch partner and tilted your head back to stare at the sky with a groan. “Not my fucking day.”
“Suck it up. Don’t care about your lovers tiff.” Eli snapped at you and you pictured him with a busted lip and several missing teeth. It helped the annoyance. “First Ellie forgets her fucking jacket and then you’re late and complaining.”
“Cut Ellie some slack.” Dina chided Eli and you chuckled to yourself. Always in her corner even when Ellie had abandoned her and her child. “You know what today is.”
“Oh fuck. It’s Joel’s dead day.” You swore before wincing. You knew it had to be something bad for her to leave you hanging like that. “Shit.”
“You forgot her father’s anniversary.” Dina stared at you, a disgusted look on her face. You looked at her with a shrug and her jaw dropped. “The most traumatic experience of her life and you forgot? You’re her fucking girlfriend.”
“I mean, the most traumatic experience was probably her girlfriend being pregnant. That would fuck with me for sure.” You scoffed and made to climb the scaffolding that climbed the wall.
“God you’re so fucking useless to her.” Dina didn’t let it go, following you closely. You blocked her out, wondering what was the point of patrolling the wall when you could barely see the tree line with the snow. “She needs you to support her.”
“Dina, you’re confusing me with someone who gives a fuck.” You told her, watching as the gates opened and the trail patrol groups set out on horse back. “So some old dude got his head bashed in. I didn’t know him. I don’t care.”
“You’re her girlfriend.” Dina repeated and you shrugged. You wondered if you were her girlfriend. That seemed to be too big of a title for housemates that fucked each other to avoid their grief. Ellie hadn’t remembered your sister’s anniversary. Why should you remember Joel’s?
“Look, you fumbled your chance with her. You came back to Jackson to start again without her. If you want her that bad then have her.” You checked the rifle left in the patrol hut and checked the bullets left for you.
“You’d give her up that easy?” Dina asked, astounded in that very judgmental way she had. You looked up at her, bored with the conversation. “You’d just pass her off?”
“I would and yet you still don’t want her.” You laughed. “That’s kind of telling.”
Dina didn’t say anything and you settled in for a long eight hours, the rickety chair creaked when you took a seat on it, rifle in your lap. You wondered if you could argue the cold had earned you an extra drink or two to warm back up. Sometimes Seth felt bad for you. Most times he just told you to fuck off.
“I didn’t just give her up.” Dina spoke what felt like hours later. You didn’t look away from the snow because you didn’t care enough to let her know you were listening. “She left me and JJ. I didn’t expect her to come back.”
“Is it cause she’s down those two fingers? Because let me tell you, that hand? A complete write off. It does nothing of note.” Dina made a disgusted sound and you laughed, incredulous. “I mean you’ve got a kid, you’re not exactly in place to play the blushing virgin.”
“Do you understand what it’s like to love someone who sees themself as a sacrifice?” You would never tell Dina but you understood. Every time you closed your eyes you saw her face as she made the decision to sacrifice her life so that you’d survive.
She was stupid. Your sister. She had so much more to offer the world than you could’ve ever. You’d spent every day for the last five years torturing yourself for her decision. You, better than anyone, related to Dina. You knew what it was to be left behind.
“I do.” You shrugged turning to face Dina. You didn’t tell her you weren’t talking about Ellie. “But I didn’t abandon her, so I guess that makes me better than you.”
“Or it just makes you more stupid.” Dina argued and you knew she probably had a point. You would never tell her. “Ellie ruined everything we had because of a man who she didn’t even like when he died.”
“Stop talking. Or I’ll throw you off the fucking wall.” You pinched the bridge of you nose to fend off the coming headache. It seemed that you had only encouraged her.
“She hadn’t talked to him in months when he died. She felt bad because she hadn’t liked him.” Dina insisted.
“You’re so fucking stupid. He saved her life. I know you’ve seen her fucking arm. They were gonna cut it out of her brain to maybe try and make a vaccine. He killed the fucking doctor and his daughter killed Joel. That’s how it works. It’s a cycle!” You snapped at Dina who looked shocked, leaning away from you. “She loved Joel, she just couldn’t understand his reasoning for choosing her over the rest of the world. He loved her more than the world. You don’t turn into what we are over someone you don’t fucking love.”
“I don’t know-”
“It’s a twenty foot drop. I will make JJ an orphan.”
///
“You sort it out with Dina or you tell her to fuck off.” You didn’t give Ellie a second to even get in the door, finger digging into her chest. “I had to her spend eight hours with her stupid commentary on how I should treat you better.”
“Tell her yourself. I don’t fucking care.” Ellie kicked her converse off and dropped her bag, shrugging by you. “Anything to eat?”
“Do I look like a fucking house wife?” You asked her with a scoff and she rolled her eyes, muttering under her breath. “Head on over to Dina’s, I’m sure she’ll make you something.”
“Stop with the fucking Dina rhetoric, I’m here, ain’t I?” Ellie slammed her hand down on the table in the kitchen and you laughed coldly.
“Should I be glad? Am I winning by eating off a plate that Dina licked clean?” Ellie narrowed her eyes at you and then your head hit the wall. Her hand was around your neck and you let your eyes shut slowly. “Finish what you started.”
“Jesus, you’re such a needy fucking bitch. Picking a fight because I didn’t let you cum this morning. You got fingers, don’t ya?” She asked, her free hand unbuttoning your jeans. She didn’t pull them down, just slipped her hand inside and laughed cruelly. “You been this wet all day or does my hand around your neck really do it for you?”
“Like three fifths of a hand.” You gasped and she squeezed tighter around your neck and pinched your clit cruelly. You would’ve been embarrassed with how much this was working for you if you cared at all what Ellie thought of you. Instead you ground against her hand as she pumped two fingers into you. You shuddered against her when you came and let her push you to your knees.
There was no smart comments when she shucked her jeans and boxers, pushing you forward by a grip on your hair. You didn’t bother to tease, paying extra attention to her clit, just how she liked it. She held you in place while she came and you stayed without complaint while she spasmed around your tongue. “At least you’re good for something.”
“Oh fuck off, Ellie.” You sighed and pushed yourself to stand up. You didn’t give her any further attention and moved for the shower, knowing she would bang on the door as soon as she realized. She preferred showering when she got home.
She got her revenge on you later that night. Hoarse screams came from the next room. Shouts of Joel’s name along with pitiful cries had you shoving your blankets down and making your way into her room.
She sat on the edge of the bed, her head in her hands. She was shivering in the cold and you watched her for a second. “Get out.”
“You’ve woken me twice already.” You told her, leaning on the door frame. She still didn’t look up and you realized she wasn’t shivering. She was crying. “Can’t save them all.”
She had said that to you once, when your told her about your sister. You had punched her and then fucked her for it. She didn’t even react to the words and you stepped into the room. “Get back into bed.”
“Fuck off.” She did as she was told and you slipped in beside her. “I’m not in the mood.”
“Shut up and turn around.” She faced the wall, her back to you and you pressed up against her, an arm around her middle. “It’s too cold to sleep alone tonight.”
///
Ellie was always awkward the day after you shared a bed. It didn’t happen often, it was never planned, and you preferred to pretend it didn’t happen.
“Hey,” Ellie spoke quietly from the kitchen doorway. You didn’t look up, letting your tea steep. “I’m sorry about last night. Yesterday was-”
“Joel’s death day. I know.” She paused in place and you finally looked over to watch her consider your words. “Dina reminded me.”
“Oh. Okay. Well I’m sorry for waking you anyway.” She mumbled and you shrugged. “And thank you.”
“I had to get to sleep at some point.” You told her blandly, turning back to your tea and removing the leaves. “Was the only solution.”
“Jesus, do you have a fucking off button for that attitude. Every time we do anything that might show this is more than fucking you shut down.” You laughed and turned to face Ellie.
“More than fucking? I’m just a hole and a mouth that you use to get yourself off. You are no different for me. If you want emotions go somewhere else.” You told her and she rolled her eyes.
“Imagine your sister sacrificing her whole life for you to end up this bitter fucking shell of a person.” Ellie laughed bitterly. “What a fucking way to honor her.”
“Oh, so that’s how you’re feeling this morning?” You asked with raised eyebrows. “Atleast I didn’t walk out on my girlfriend and kid to trek across the country and avenge my father just to let his killer go at the last second.”
“Your obsession with Dina is bordering on a mental illness.” Ellie accused and you shrugged, sipping at your tea. “She’s into women, you might have a chance.”
“Yeah? So she can turn me into whatever the fuck sort of lap dog she made you? I’ll pass.” You kissed your teeth when Ellie stepped closer. “You act all high and mighty but I know you got down on your knees and begged her to take you back and she said no.”
Ellie clenched her fists and you braced yourself for impact but she only shook her head, turning on her heel and slamming out the door. You stared at the brown hunting jacket for the second day in a row.
You would’ve brought it this time but that wasn’t very ‘bitter shell of a person’ of you.
///
Seth was distracted this evening. He had served you nearly double what he usually did. You let the music drown out your thoughts and sipped at your whiskey. You were bordering on what could be considered tipsy. Your toe was tapping along to the music and it could actually be described as a pleasant evening.
Of course, you never got that kind of peace for long. You weren’t overly polite when a grating voice started somewhere to your left. You ran a hand down your face and tried to ignore it. Everyone else was able to go on with their day and you needed just one good one.
You could have a few more drinks, if Seth was amenable, wait for Ellie to finish her night with Tommy and then get throughly fucked when you got home with Ellie’s hand around your neck and her filthy words in your ears.
“I’m beginning to think you two don’t even like each other.” Nope. There it went. Your pleasant buzz, your nice evening. With just two seconds and a handful of words, Dina had ruined it all.
You ignored her, sipping from your drink again. She didn’t like that and pushed in on your side and took the stool next to yours. You let your head tip back and huffed out a breath. “You never sit near each other in public. Any interaction the pair of you have is openly hostile.”
“Dina, I have worked by your side for four days this week, that’s thirty two whole hours I had to listen to your opinions. I don’t care. Now fuck off.” You told her, tracing your index finger around the rim of your glass. Your pleasant buzz was long gone and now the drink was fueling your anger, riling you up quickly.
“Why bother pretending?” Dina asked and you looked up. Your eyes caught Ellie’s first. She was watching you, half out of her seat. You turned away from her to look at Dina.
“Pretending what?” You asked her with a laugh. “We live together. We fuck. That’s all there is to it.”
“Except every time you looked at her tonight you got this serene little smile on your lips. Why are you pretending you don’t feel anything for her?” Dina asked and you blinked at her.
“Why are you pretending you aren’t mad at her for getting Jesse killed and then passing up the opportunity to kill the one who killed him?” You asked and stood from your stool, downing the last of your whiskey.
You were almost two steps away when a hand gripped your arm. Ellie almost barreled into you in her rush to get Dina’s grip off you. “Don’t fucking touch her.”
Ellie stood in your way to get to Dina and you shook your hands out, keeping your mouth shut now that people were watching. “She doesn’t like that.”
“Time you get on out of here.” Seth spoke from behind the bar.
“Time you stopped over serving her.” Ellie snapped at him, still staring at Dina. Seth only sighed and shook his head.
“It’s her sisters anniversary.” Seth spoke quietly and Ellie laughed bitterly.
“That’s in June. Stop fucking enabling her.” Ellie turned away from Dina and Seth and grabbed your hand in hers and dragged you from the bar. “Is it too much to ask for one nice night?”
You pulled your hand free and crossed your arms. You shouldn’t have to explain yourself to her. You always felt like a child when you did. “It wasn’t-”
“I’m not blaming you. That was all her.” Ellie assured you and you nodded. You stumbled a little, more than tipsy now the air hit you. Ellie’s hand shot out to catch you and you fell against her. “Let’s get you home.”
“Birthday. It’s her birthday.” Ellie paused in place and let you lean against her. She wrapped an arm around you and pulled you against her. “I was trying to have a nice day. Was just enjoying my evening.”
“I know. I was watching you.” Ellie didn’t say anything else but she did urge you to start moving again. You leaned against her and she kept an arm wrapped around you. When you got home she let you go and you wrapped your arms around yourself and made your way to the sofa. “You want a glass of water?”
You didn’t answer Ellie, tipping yourself to the side and pressing your face into the sofa cushions.
///
You woke on the sofa, your head tilted to the side and a blanket tossed over you. Ellie had put a bucket on the ground too. You weren’t the kind of person to puke while drinking but she was so you could understand it.
It was still dark and you were fucking freezing. Your teeth chattered and you shuffled up to your room, changing your clothes quickly and staring at your empty bed. Ellie’s would be warm. Ellie would be warm.
She blinked at you from under her blanket when you cracked her door open. She had left her lamp on and you wondered if it was just in case you came in. She didn’t say anything but she shuffled over and lifted her blanket. You took the offered place, pressing your face into her neck when she wrapped her arms and the blanket around you.
“Thank you.” She only hummed, her hand sliding under your top to softly stroke the skin of your back. It didn’t take her long to drift back off to sleep and you watched her in the low light from the lamp.
You wondered if you could ever be what Ellie needed. You knew she needed to heal, she needed to be forgiven for her imagined sins. You weren’t sure you had that in you. You still hadn’t forgiven your sixteen year old self for letting your sister die.
You had spent every single day since punishing yourself for her death. She was your age now when she died and you wondered if you would ever make that decision?
If you would’ve sacrificed yourself to save her?
You weren’t sure you’d ever done anything that didn’t serve yourself first.
///
“I should’ve fucking known that pairing you up would’ve resulted in this.” Eli sighed when you arrived to the stables without Ellie. “Where is she?”
“Fucked if I know.” You told him honestly. Ellie had been off with you since that night in the bar over a month ago. She disappeared for hours at a time and you hadn’t bothered to ask where she was going to escape you.
“I’m here.” She left the stables with Shimmer and Henry in tow, both of your preferred horses. Ellie shared a look with you but you had nothing to add so you just took Henry’s reins and boosted yourself up onto the horse.
You and Ellie had patrolled together a number of times. It was how you had both first met, back when she had just arrived back in Jackson. It had resulted in some of the best sex of your life.
There wasn’t much discussion between you both, mutters about directions and when to stop and take a break. You usually let Ellie make the decisions because she was outside the wall more often than you were.
She was distracted today though. She had missed two turns and an outpost that needed to be signed. You called her attention quietly the first two times and by the outpost your very limited patience was gone.
“Jesus fucking Christ. Will you pay attention before you get me killed!” You snapped at her, hopping down off Henry to sign the log book stashed inside the dilapidated farmhouse.
“Why do you hate Dina?” Ellie asked when you looked up from your signature. She was standing in the doorway, blocking your exit. “Like you really hate her.”
“I don’t hate her.” You sighed, wondering why Ellie chose now of all moments to bring it up. Maybe that’s where she had been the last month. With Dina. Maybe she was leaving you. Did you have her enough for her to leave?
“You really hate her. Like I thought you were going to punch her that night in the bar.” Ellie sighed and you shrugged. “I need to know why.”
“Why?” You asked her quietly. She wasn’t going to let you leave so you took a seat on a rickety arm chair, dust puffing up when you took a seat. “Why do you need to know all of a sudden?”
“It’s important to me.” She told you earnestly and you shrugged again. You didn’t hate Dina. You disliked her, sure, but you disliked everyone. “I need to know.”
“I guess it would make it easier, huh?” You asked Ellie with a cold laugh. “I tell you why I hate the woman you love and you can go back to her without guilt, right?”
“No. The part of my life spent with Dina is over. I’m not the person I was and it wouldn’t work any longer.” Ellie sighed. “I’m with you now. That’s not going to change because you hate Dina.”
“I don’t fucking hate Dina!” You snapped and Ellie raised her eyebrows at you. You ran a hand over your face and sighed. “I don’t.”
“You feel something very strongly for her.” Ellie moved closer, taking a seat on the sofa. The same plume of dust came up when she sat and she coughed. “I need you to explain it for me.”
“She thinks we’re the same. She thinks because she loved you that she knows what we are.” You told Ellie and she nodded. “She asked me once if I know what it’s like to love someone who sees themselves as a sacrifice.”
“And you do.” Ellie sighed softly. You nodded, your hands clasped tightly. “I don’t think I’ve ever told you that I’m sorry, about your sisters death and how it affected you.”
“I’m sorry about Joel.” You sighed, your head tipping forward so your expression was hidden. “Dina was wrong though.”
“About what?” Ellie asked. You didn’t look up at her this time, the conversation more real that anything either of you had shared before.
“She’s never loved a sacrifice.” You explained, clearing your throat didn’t help, the lump stuck. “You’re not a sacrifice. You’ve never been a sacrifice. Joel knew that, that’s why he stepped in that time. I can see it. You don’t throw yourself into fights you can’t win. You throw yourself into fights you will win.”
“I don’t thin- I don’t know if that’s-”
“You fight for the ones you love. You fight for those who fought for you. Joel risked everything to keep you alive. He was a fighter too. Both of you lost a fight the day he died. But with even ten minutes more of a chance he would’ve lived. The people fighting you both knew that. It took years to be able to beat you.” You explained to her. “That’s not a sacrifice, Ellie. That’s the unfortunate reality of the life we live.”
“I couldn’t save him.” She whispered and you nodded. “I won’t ever forgive myself.”
“I know. I couldn’t save her. She wanted to go. She had always wanted to go. She didn’t sacrifice herself for me. She wanted out and she took it in a way that looked meaningful.” You explained and Ellie blinked at you. “She was always sad. She always had been. She welcomed death. I’ll never forgive her.”
“I didn’t know that.” Ellie whispered and you looked up at last to face her. You didn’t say anything, wiping under your eyes. “You never told me.”
“I don’t discuss my feelings Ellie.” You sighed, exhausted. “So no, I don’t hate Dina. I’m jealous that she got this version of you, one that was full of life and she let you go over some misguided theory.”
“You wish I wasn’t like this.” Ellie wasn’t asking. “You want who I was.”
“I want who we were.” You explained. “If we had both met at eighteen we’d have been unstoppable. I would’ve had the love you needed.”
“You don’t love me now?” This time Ellie was asking and you blinked at her.
“Of course I love you. I think you might be the only person in this world that I love. But I don’t love you how you need.” You told her with a sigh. “We ruin each other every night and then kiss the cracks we’ve left on each other’s hearts like that will fix it. This ain’t healthy.”
“So you want to break up?” Ellie asked and you shook your head. You wanted her to understand so bad.
“I should want to. I should leave so that we can both heal but Ellie, I can’t live without you. So we’ll never get better.”
///
You thought Ellie would come home more after your conversation. You had never felt as exposed as you had returning from the patrol. She had walked back to the house with you, arms just barely brushing when you walked.
You hadn’t even made it in the door when she was pinning you against the wall, her face pressed into your neck. She had kissed her way down your body, undressing you tenderly. You hadn’t ever experienced this gentleness from her and you had to choke back the tears that welled in your eyes.
It had been so long since someone had been gentle with you that you had almost forgotten what it felt like.
She made you cum with her mouth and when you tried to return the favor she had only pulled you close and in a move she had never made before, she hugged you close and kissed your forehead.
She left you soon after, claiming she had something she needed to do. You let her leave, your own mind on what you had to do.
You pushed into the kitchen, pulling the bottle of whiskey out from the drinks cabinet and emptied the whole thing down the drain. You winced, watching the last of it leave the bottle.
You left then and headed straight for the Tipsy Bison. Seth met you at the counter looking stern. “Three is your cut off point tonight.”
“No, I’m not- would you, could you cut me off? Altogether?” You asked him, hesitating. “Even if I ask?”
“If you’re sure?” He asked you and you nodded. He shook his head with a smile and you gave him a weak offer of a smile back. “I’ll let the others know. This is a good thing, kid.”
“Yeah, I’m not sure if I believe it.” You told him and he laughed. “It’s an important thing though.”
“She’s worth every bit of it.” Seth promised and this time you laughed, amazed at how transparent you were being. “It’s time the two of you realized that.”
///
When you got home Ellie hadn’t returned. You wondered again where it was that she had been disappearing off to. You didn’t want to push her, waiting to see if she’d come to you. If things really had changed.
It wasn’t until you went to bed that you found the note on your pillow.
I need you to know that I know how this looks. I know it looks like I set everything up today just to let you down again. I didn’t know that you felt the way you did. I didn’t know that you could ever love me. I’ve been planning this for a while and I hate that we got so close to being normal and I’m going to ruin it. Maybe you’re right, maybe in another life or another timeline we would’ve been happy. I’m sorry that it isn’t this one.
I need to do this.
Love always,
Ellie.
#the last of us#tlou#ellie williams#ellie williams tlou#ellie williams x you#ellie williams x afab reader#ellie x you#ellie williams x reader#tlou ellie#ellie x fem reader#ellie x reader#ellie the last of us#ellie tlou#dina tlou#Spotify
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Why Midori is such a breath of fresh air or how to actually write a Villain.
So the awaited essay, the winner of the FrenchGremlin polls of laziness finally has come! It took some time but it’s finally over. If your choice didn’t get chosen that’s okay! I’ll repost a new poll with old and newer options. Please reblog this one i put a lot of time in it, it's like, five pages long over a silly goose. Also sorry for the grammar i sucks and i'm not native. So let’s begin:
(also here is the link to the video format)
So first let’s make things clear, What IS a villain?
“A villain is a character whose evil actions or motives are important to the plot.” That is why I do want to make a difference between a villain and an antagonist, an antagonist is a character who are a plot devices that creates obstruction to the protagonist. That means that a villain is forced to be an antagonist while an antagonist is not forced to be a villain. For example shin is an antagonist but not a villain, he is driven by selfish desires which are themselves fueled by fear anger and loss, he is the protagonist of his own story and is a sympathetic character despite it all, and Midori is just a bitch. Midori falls under multiple stereotypes of villains. Such as “the mastermind”, “evil incarnate” (lmao),”related to the protagonist” etc. Midori is evil, there is no denying in this, he is purely evil, and he doesn’t have a sad weepy backstory, he doesn’t feel empathy towards other, he is a despicable piece of shit who ruined so many lives. I won’t list everything but here is a list of his crimes, murder, assault, domestic abuse, grooming, verbal abuse, and torture, crimes against humanity lmao, stalking, violent crimes, and participation in a cult. And his worst crime is being a pussy bitch of course. So now that we have put the bases up let’s really begin.
Hollywood has a hate boner against villains and I hate them for that.
Recently Hollywood decided that pure evil bad guys is actually a bad thing, so now they decided to do stupid side story with them, to give them ”””depth””” since I guess how could we like those villains since they are bad. A great example of this is the Disney remakes which I loathe so much oh god I hate them. So first they did a maleficient it was okay honestly, then they did a freaking cruella movie where her mom gets killed by Dalmatians, that’s not a joke, in the peter and wendy movie that nobody saw they decided to have made the captain hook be a lost boy who was abandoned by the lost boys and peter, oh also they decided that PETER CUT HIS HANDS OFF AND LEFT HIM TO DIE BECAUSE HOOK WANTED TO SEE HIS FAMILY. They are going to do a freaking mufasa movie, in no time I can’t wait to have a Ursula movie where it’s discovered that ariel killed all of her family in cold blood or something’s. So you might say what’s the problem? I mean isn’t that supposed to make the story more interesting. No, no it doesn’t, because first they take all of the character personality traits and throw them in the bin, second they are supposed to be the vilain in a musical animated movies, I am not against complex villain, I love them, but by doing this, the original character doesn’t exist anymore. Just create original content with new interesting characters instead of doing stuff like this. Also it’s kind of funny than in all of those interpretation they take all the fun and sucks it out, what do I mean by fun, the gayness, Disney vilain are fun because they are camp, they are fabulous extravagant extra in all the ways possible, and that’s the reason we liked them. Not every character needs something super deep, like “my family was burned down at the stake and my dog was eaten by my ex”, sometimes we just like bad fun people, they are the story, and Hollywood hating them so bad just bothers me a lot. Also now the new thing is to not have a villain at all which can works in some narrative but not all of them, it gets boring after a while. In the past people were angry that villains are bland, but now I kind of miss it. While I will critique villains who have no purpose outside of being evil that’s dumb, like for example Voldemort is bland like white bread because his only motivation is being evil, but evil people do exist compared to what some Hollywood writers think, they should know. So that’s why I will put a difference between evil villains and villains whose only purpose is being evil; we loved Disney villains but they still had motivations, goals, reasons that to them a least were worth everything. World domination isn’t enough, why do you want world domination, what is the true reason deep in your heart, is it an inferiority complex, is it a savior complex fuelled by xenophobic beliefs.
That is how to write a pure evil villain, evil people exist all over the world, but I have never seen one who doesn’t have they own reasons to be so bad, it doesn’t excuse their actions nor really explains them. We do not want justifications we want explanations. If you are justifying evil behavior then do it, but don’t claim that it is a pure evil character. A pure evil character can be fun, can be interesting, he can be deep, it’s all about balancing all of their traits to truly make them greats. Which is why midori succeeds while current villains fail. Current stupid remake/spin off try to justify the behavior because they feel like this is what the audience wants, but it’s not what we need. So I will defend to the grave evil villains.
Creating an evil villain doesn’t make them boring guys.
Why the heck does big budget movies have either the blandest protagonist or the blandest villains sometimes both, like I said evil people do exist but comically evil character only works in satire not in a serious multiple millions of dollar movie. Example that boring ass avatar movie, the one with blue people, none of the characters are interesting the villain is one note. The lords of the rings also suffers from that, but I don’t care because the protagonist are so awesome that sauron being personality less doesn’t matter. Also sauron is more of a force of nature villains so it’s not the same. The recent kingsman movie has a bland one note villain, there is nothing entertaining, funny, about him he’s just evil, borrrrring. Every Disney remakes depiction of the characters are boring. I just feel bored out of my mind. Atla one of my favorite shows of all time has a main villain that’s kinda one note, Ozai, but he is actually intimidating guy, azula is the superior character, but I wouldn’t consider her a villain she is an antagonist though. I honestly don’t get why Hollywood thinks that just creating a character with no personality and whose only goals is to be evil is good.
So back to midori for a second, here is my question, when midori was on screen did you ever feel bored? Never right! Because despite midori being an evil character he has an actual personality, he’s fun, you want to punch him in the balls. Because midori has other personality traits than evil, midori is petty, childish, extremely intelligent, controlling, a natural manipulator, he is a trickster, he doesn’t seem to get some social norms, he is narcissistic, easily angry, and fears death etc See how I counted a lot of traits, traits that in other character would works, midori has positive traits, and I think that is the best thing nankidai could have ever done, midori has traits that a regular person could have. Which is why if I put midori in any settings his character would work.
Example, instead of a death game the cast is under the sea to discover the insane wildlife and supernatural stuff happening, what would midori do in this situation? Well he would very passionate about finding all of what’s happening, he’ll do anything to find out, even sometime sacrificing others, not only will he try to find what’s happening, but he is also going to try to find a way to make this discovery favour him in the end. Or let’s imagine it’s a vampire situation, where a vampire attacks the city, midori would try to stop it, not because he cares, but to experiment on them to get their biology and finds the real secret of immortality since he fears death.
Here is my second advice, after creating your character try to imagine them in another completely different situation, like normal life, or a fantasy world, ask yourself the question what would they do in that environment? If you can find a real complete explanation of their actions then yes your character has multiples dimensions if not try thinking about it again. Some example of questions I do want to point out are some like “if my character had all the power in the world what would they do first or”, “if my character had only a day left to live what would they do”
Why is Current media incapable of creating good threats like bruhhhh.
Okay so first of all let’s talk about stakes in a story, let’s say you are watching a slasher movie, slowly the cast gets slimmed down and people die in horrible ways, that should set stakes right ? Well if the villain is an absolute buffoon who makes the stupidest actions and decisions in the world, you wouldn’t feel intimidated at all because despite what the filmmaker might try to say the plot armor will NEVER make a character intimidating. It’s just like a detective character who just seems to know everything without a thought, well you won’t really fear the character failing. Worse is the the final girl, who is for some reason always escaping the slasher guy by pure luck every time, she is shown as incompetent but still she survives, which make the villain seem completely incapable so now you feel nothing.
To avoid this filmmaker often use techniques such has unpredictability, I mean good I mean good ones, for example instead of immediately seeing whose going to survive because the black guys always dies first and the virgin white woman is the last survivor, change the status quo, make us think that this character is obviously safe while they actually aren’t at all. Or actually make them menacing by SHOWING to the audience how horrible dangerous they can be. Which is why SHOW DON’T TELL is so important, telling us how dangerous someone can be only to see them get beaten to death at the end of the movie makes us feel nothing.
Midori felt like a impossible person to beat, he is smart, had twenty plans in advance, even in situation where the cast felt like they might have a chance he was always armed, just like the gun he promised to use or the rocket punch. When they felt like they were finally advancing, he put obstacle in their ways, such as the collar game or the moment he put the collar on explode mode for ranmaru. The entire point in the murder game was to make time pass, it took a long time for the cast top realize that this whole time they were losing precious time not realizing that the dummies were the real problem. The characters that made you feel the most hopeless were the dummies, if you won by killing midori they would die, but if you lost you might lose people you love (keiji or gin). It felt hopeless because they were no solutions in the end. That creates tension so that creates stakes. If we were told how dangerous unpredictable sou was then it wouldn’t hit the same, we are shown that he is that terrible. There is a scene ingame where bbg shin ai tells us that midori tortured and like to destroy people. That’s exposition so TELL, but do you why it works, because we are SHOWN before his behavior. Midori felt unbeatable, so the fact that we were shown his weakness such has his petty behavior, hatred of minors, and fear of death, for the first time it feels like there is a chance that we might survive this. And still after he isn’t shown has an incompetent buffoon, he is one, but the narrative doesn’t show us that he is.
What is also consider is good to make the audience feel actual stakes is to first really develop well the main characters, how can we feel worry for a character if we don’t know them, the audience need to feels emotional connection to the main cast to actually care. You can use things such has moments where there is nothing special happening just character talking getting to know them. Make us feel why we need to care about them possibly losing, instead of being indifferent. Or I don’t know maybe make an entire spin off game where we get to have the cast talk to each other and seeing dynamics between character that died early to get them a chance to shine and make their death even more tragic, or even make mini episodes of characters who only got a single chapter to show off their characteristic, to get us to know them better? But that’s just a silly idea of course, wink, and wink.
My favorite thing about Midori is that he is actually pathetic, like really pathetic, but weirdly realistic?
Midori is the most pathetic character in the cast, yes more than shin, shin is leagues less pathetic. No I’m not saying that midori is not intimidating or scary, I would piss myself if I saw him. He’s a scary guy. But if you look at him more closely you can see that he is a baby brat in a big boy suit.
So let’s start by something clear, Sou Hiyori clearly displays antisocial behavior, or in common terms he is a psychopath/sociopath, this illness is very badly seen in medias, I am not saying that people who lacks empathy like him are inherently bad, he is, a lot of people with antisocial behavior actually suffers a lot and have a difficult life. Sou real issues is not his antisocial behavior, it’s his narcissism and god complex. Sou feels the need to HAVE CONTROL over others, he like the feeling of being in power, he sees the rest of the world has beneath him, toys for his pleasure. He says that he “really like humans” because despite it all he seems to put himself in a different categories than regular people, they are beneath him. When he loses control his calm and cool behavior disappears and we see his true face, a grown man who has throws a tantrum like a baby. One of the best representation of this is midori views on the cast:
Midori hates kanna, like no jokes he has beef with her, a fourteen years old, actually he has beef with a lot of people in the cast. Midori views emotional people has weak, people who are loving optimistic as beneath him and useless. He preferred when sara was cruel and horrible, that’s what he loved about her, he liked seeing her scary emotionless side. But Kanna, kanna is everything he hates. A crybaby who not only puts the group in harmony, is a source of hope in general, is the reason he near got to have closure with shin (killing him), he views kanna as “not fun shin”. We have many proofs for this, if you type the word kanna kizuchi he says this: “Poor Kanna'd weep! I think a more worthless name would be better for someone like me” He mocks her, but also himself (I’lll come back on this later), he calls her worthless. Also in the electric charge minigame, when he can choose who to shocks he chooses two people in particular, kanna who he hates and hinako who ruined his fun by giving the cast a chance in saving ranmaru. But he does also says mean spirited stuff to other people, qtaro and gin. He also says some sarcastic comments about nao and joe, saying that it’s such a shame that they died so young. But you might say why kanna especially? Because he is a petty baby who is jealous of kanna, Yes jealous, of kanna, a fourteen years old. Because he feels like she stole his hubby wubby shin away from him…. God I hate him. And you know what that make him a pathetic idiot, after the scene where kanna beats his ass, he’s all mad and like “uhh I’m going to pout I wanted you to cry like a lot, now I’m gonna cry”. An that’s actually god, because it humanize him, he wants need thoughts, he isn’t one note, and that’s the most important!
Sou is a villain but before that he is a character, a fully developed character, and THAT’S WHAT MAKE HIM GREAT, Sou works because he works realistically, I mean if you forget the robot part, it’s easy to imagine a narcissist man child who needs to feel in power towards other, so his main prey are young vulnerable people.Which leads me to my next point:
Sou is a failure like really, and we aren’t sad for him.
Sou failed everything he worked on, he failed to get the paper from alice, he failed whith shin since he had to leave earlier than he thought he would leave, because of his mistake he lost his position in the death game, then he failed to kill gin or keiji, and then he died like an idiot losing his cool and acting like a toddler. And he knows it that why he is a bit self-hating (he should be). And yet none of us feel any sympathy towards him, why? Because sou is one of the most despicable guy in existence. He is a disgusting pervert, sadistic asshole, and abusive narcissistic cunt who thinks he is better than everyone. From the bottom of my heart I hate him sooooo much he is literally the character I hate the most in existence. He abused shin, ruined keiji’s life, traumatized the entire cast, literally assaulted sara like he physically assaulted her. He mocked nao and joe and kugie life as useless. He is an obsessive jerk AND I HATE HIM. And you know what…… It’s good. Like I actually feel a lot of emotions when I think about him, he fuels me with anger and disgust, and if your characters can make me feel that much rage then you did it, you created an actual perfect character. Hiyori is such a shit person that I think about him a lot, writers shouldn’t be scared to make a character such hittable assholes, example bojack horseman in bojack horseman is the vilest man on earth and I love it, because I genuinely hate him. Just like I genuinely love kanna, like really I really love her, I in the same time despise midori so bad. We hate him because he is horrible to good people that WE KNOW AND CARE ABOUT, not random npcs. There is a lot of… disgusting implications in his story with shin that I will not talk about it makes me really uncomfortable right now. SO HERE IS A VERY TACKY TRANSITION TO TALK ABOUT WHY I HATE JUNKO FROM DANGANRONPA.
Junko is boring, that’s it, she is boring, not funny not interesting, she is a fetish, she is the biggest Mary sue on earth, she is a gross character made to make fun of people with disabilities and queer people. Her only traits is being crazy, that’s it. I wouldn’t call midori that crazy actually, he’s methodical calculated, and precise. Crazyness is a term for people who aren’t in control of their actions and delusional about reality, sou is not crazy, he knows what he is doing, he is in full control, while characters like shin should actually be consider crazy, like shin is actually crazy but sou isn’t.
Conclusion:
Sou is a breath of fresh air, because nankidai had the balls to write an actually interesting deep and threatening character AND make him a villain. He didn’t fall into the trap of making him have a sad backstory or good motives, sou is just selfish, that’s all he is. He make him a fun entertaining guy who you absolutely hates, he made him threatening and at the same time a complete doofus. He made him humane and pathetic.
But the thing that make me love nankidai the most is this
The fact that he actually killed him that takes courage as a writer to just end a character THAT WAY, which is why midori will never come back alive he is forever dead. And that take a lot of talents as a writer to just take one of the most important characters and just get him drilled to death in the anus, like dammn nankidai you are a savage. That fact alone makes him one of the best characters in game, I hate him as a person, but has a character he is a masterpiece.
Though Kanna could solo him
this was posted as a video on my blog this is mainly so people who don't want to stay there reading a 24 minute video of my stuttering can have a bit of quiet
#yttd#your turn to die#kimi ga shine#shin tsukimi#kanna kizuchi#sou hiyori#midori yttd#cna you tell i have no life#i spend a part of my short existence writing about fucking midori#yttd analysis#frenchgremlim polls of laziness
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Chills Right to the Marrow Part 44
ao3 link| part 1 . . . part 41, part 42, part 43
Wayne’s getting really tired of being woken up this way. He thought choosing the room over Eddie’s would be a good idea. Even if it was close enough to the kitchen that he can hear the cabinets close and the dishes rattle. That he could deal with. He was used to living with thin walls.
What he wasn’t used to was living with this many fights that didn’t directly involve him. It’s nauseating. They do it repeatedly, never getting tired of it. Fighting over everything possible, finding something new every time one of them walks into the room.
He doesn’t know what to do about it. He doesn’t know how to get them to stop. It hurts because he knows why they’re doing it. It’s so easy to force the anger out at someone who’s willing to take it. Hurting themselves more in the process without realizing.
It’s just a horrible endless loop that’s haunted them for weeks. It needs to stop.
Wayne makes his way downstairs, hearing clips of the argument as he walks to the kitchen. It keeps jumping from topic to topic. Insults flying with no rhyme or reason. Only meant to hurt.
“Maybe if you stopped moping in your room and actually tried to get better, you wouldn’t be in here yelling at me,” Steve yells.
“Well maybe I would if you actually went out and tried to do something with your life. That way you wouldn’t smother me.”
Steve huffs. “Back to this really? You need to get some new material, Munson.”
“And you need to get some new moves. Since the old ones don’t seem to be working anymore. Nancy’s here all the time and hasn’t fallen for a single one of them,” Eddie snarls.
“I already told you, she’s not interested anymore. I’m not—”
“Clearly,” Eddie interrupts. Finding the strength to stand up. “All that work for nothing. She doesn’t want you anymore.”
Steve starts to deflate, the fight waning. Eddie hitting the nerve he wanted. Waiting for Steve to hammer the final nail in the coffin before storming out and leaving. Making it so Eddie is the one that’s most hurt. So he isn’t in the wrong.
But Steve doesn’t say anything. Wayne can see the tears start to build in his eyes. The way his body shuts down.
It’s finally going too far.
Eddie doesn’t see the signs, seeing Steve’s defeat as a victory. One that he doesn’t want, so he continues to bite. “I think I’ve finally figured you out Harrington. Big house, big personality. It’s a call for help really. Trying to make it seem like you have everything, when in reality, you have no one to share it with. You overcompensate to hide the fact that you can never make anyone stay.”
Wayne’s jaw clenches. His fist tightens. It was too far.
Steve laughs, voice wet. “I didn’t mind you fighting with me because I knew why you were doing it,” he says with such pain it stings more than any insult they’ve thrown. “But sometimes, Eddie, you’re just mean.”
He leaves the room. Not going to outside to clear his head. Not leaving in a huff. Just a sad walk with his arms crossed, and eyes spilling over with tears. Up to his room, locking himself away.
“You happy now?” Wayne spits. Tired of this. Tired of himself letting it get this far. “You finally got what you wanted?”
Eddie’s legs shake as he sits back on the stool. His face contorting with anger and pain. “I don’t want to hear this right now.”
“Well, that’s too bad.” Wayne moves to block Eddie’s path to his room. “You don’t get to run away this time. Not when you’ve been doing nothing but hurting yourself and everyone around you. I let you do it for longer than I should.”
“You let me,” the anger in Eddie’s voice returns. “You can’t control me.”
“No, I can’t. But I can call you out when your bullshit anger is actively hurting the people around you. I can’t make you stop, but I can try to.”
Eddie forces himself to stand. A breath getting sucked in through his teeth as he tries to walk away. “I’m the one who’s had my life ruined. I deserve to be angry.”
Wayne lets him push past him, knowing that if he doesn’t, Eddie might fall. But he doesn’t let him get away so easily. He’s following after every step Eddie takes.
“You do deserve to be angry. I’m angry too. I see you suffering, and it kills me. It kills me to know that you will never live life the way you used to. But you know what I’m not doing, making everyone else’s lives miserable because of it.”
Eddie tries to close and lock the door before Wayne can get in. It doesn’t work. He’s not letting Eddie run away from it this time.
“Wayne,” Eddie almost pleads. The anger dissipating into the pain that caused it.
“No, you need to hear this. That boy,” Wayne points in the direction of Steve’s room, “let us stay in his home for free. He’s the reason we aren’t homeless right now. Not because he pities us, or because he’s lonely as hell, but because he cares about you. He has shown that a million times over. He lets you scream and taunt and be just outright fucking cruel because he knows that you don’t mean it. He knows that he can take it. But you went way too far today.”
Eddie’s legs give out as he tries to on his bed, making him fall the rest of the way. Wayne would go over to help, but he’s too caught up in his anger right now. He’s not sure Eddie would let him anyway. With the way this has been going.
“You’re hurting,” Wayne continues, forcing his voice to soften. “We know that. It’s why we’ve let you do this. But you can’t keep sulking in your room forever. Taking out this anger that you have out on us. Be angry. Hell, I am too. But you don’t get to hurt people just because you’re in pain.”
A sob breaks out of Eddie’s chest. His whole body shakes as he curls up in his bed. “I just want to be normal again.”
Wayne sits next to him. A hand reaching out to comfort him. The words starting to get clogged in his throat. “I know you do. I do too.”
“Every day I wake up and hope that this is a nightmare. That I won’t wake up in pain. But it just keeps getting worse. I don’t know how to live like this.”
“You learn how to. I know it’s not what you want to hear, but it’s true. It sucks, it really fucking sucks. But each time you get up is a day that you keep living. That’s how I like to think about it.”
Eddie shakes his head. “Maybe for you. I sometimes wonder if it would have been better if I died that day. I would be dead, but you could remember me as I was, not as I am. Weak and helpless.”
“No,” Wayne insists. “No, I don’t think that. When I look at you, I see the strongest person I know.”
“I don’t feel very strong.”
“I don’t think I would in your situation either. But I think you’re a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for.”
Eddie puts his chin on his knee. “You really think I can just get used to this? Just go and live a life where I’m in pain. Where I can barely walk on my own sometimes.”
“You’re not the first person to go through something like this and you won’t be the last. Not all of them had that determination that you got. I am certain that you will find a way to keep going, you always do.”
He lets out a wet laugh. Hands coming up to wipe his cheeks. “I really fucked this all up, didn’t I?”
“That I’m not sure of. I think that’s something you got to figure out yourself. But I have my hopes.”
“You really think he cares that much about me?” Eddie worries at his lip.
Wayne sighs. “You must think I’m stupider than I am. I can see the way that boy looks at you. He’s not trying to hide it at all.”
“I know,” he admits. Voice sounding hollow. “It scares me. He barely knows me. One day he’s going to look at me and realize that it’s not worth it. See everything that’s wrong with me and leave.”
“Maybe. But I think you’re not giving him enough credit. Not giving yourself enough credit. How are you going to know what will happen if you don’t even try?”
Eddie rolls his eyes. “You annoy me so much sometimes you know that?”
“The feeling’s mutual.”
The room falls silent. Becoming calm again.
“You better apologize to him.”
“I will. Just going to give him some space first.”
Wayne nods. Standing up. “Good.”
Later, when he’s getting ready to go to work, he sees Eddie walk out to the backyard and sit next to Steve by the pool. They’re talking, shoulders losing their tension as the playfulness returns. Eddie was right, whatever that is going to be is scary. But Wayne has some hopes that he’s keeping close to his chest.
note: yes, you will see that pool scene. And a few others scenes that just happen between Steve and Eddie. The last two chapters will be the epilogue, one from each of their perspectives. Speaking of, we're getting close to the end (I say that like this won't still be posted for months). This is the second to last Wayne pov chapter. There will be 16 chapters in total (64 parts), this is chapter 11 right now. Shout out to everyone who's followed this so far, knowing you love this story as much as I do really keeps me motivated to keep it going. I see every reply, reblog, and like, and it makes me smile.
tag list (closed): @the-they-who-nerded, @insteviewetrust, @croatoan-like-its-hot, @jettestar,
@tinyplanet95, @steddie-as-they-go, @slv-333, @littlecelestialmoth, @thatonebadideapanda,
@fandomsanddeath, @marismorar, @wonderland-girl143-blog, @glass-bottle03, @gutterflower77,
@here4thetrama, @goodolefashionedloverboi, @jaytriesstuff, @cryptid-system, @manda-panda-monium,
@resident-gay-bitch, @anaibis, @xxsutherlandxx, @forevermineliv, @mugloversonly,
@gregre369, @n0-1-important, @different-tale-student, @spectrum-spectre, @tartarusknight,
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@papergrenade, @waelkyring, @sweetheartprincess28, @katouasobj, @astercomoasflores
#chills right to the marrow fic#stranger things#stranger things fanfic#wayne munson#wayne pov#eddie munson#steve harrington#pre steddie#chronic pain eddie munson
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Hey 👋🏽!!,
I just want to stop by and say I absolutely love your fics, you capture Daryl so well😍. I was wondering if you could write something where Norman stops by his restaurant in Senoia for a quick meeting and sees the hot new waitress working there and it's lust at first sight🥵😈 .. He has to have her.. They meet up after her shift takes her back to his home and c o m p l e t e l y ruins her 🥴🫠: Blowjob & swallow, NORMAN WHIMPERING 😩🤌🏽 as reader sucks him off, deep fingering, face sitting & squirt, eating out tongue fuck!ng, ROUGH doggie style with a sloppy creampie breeding kink ending 😮💨 WHEW LAWD😶🌫️🫣, I hope this isn't too off the rails for you 🙃 Below is an aesthetic of what I want female reader and Norman to look like
"The New Girl"
Please and thank you 🙏🏾 🤭
GIRL. OMFG. THE WAY YOU DID NOT HOLD BACK AT ALL?? LITERALLY CURLING MY TOES PULLING MY HAIR KNAWING AT THE BARS OF MY ENCLOSURE
I’m actually really scared because this is gonna be my first time ever writing for Norman, or an actor in general, and I’m just nervous for this to come out like super corny or I write him super out of character and it’s like your average fangirl fanfic but tbh we’re just gonna close our eyes, spin around in circles and god willing nothing bad happens
The reader is black, obvs, but it’s written in a way where everyone can still enjoy and squeeze their thighs together, you’ll just be one of us in this story 🎀
Also how did I not know Norman had a restaurant… three actually…
This definitely has a word count of atleast 4k my phone actually started to slow down everytime I opened this
@blackvelveteen1339 I hope I did you justice cause holy fucking hell this was the hottest request EVER ❤️❤️
THE NEW GIRL
“Are ya' impressed yet?”
Everyone knows that moving to another place will always be the hardest feature in life, let alone moving to a whole new city in a whole different state.
Senoia was absolutely stunning, with breathtaking views and beach perfect weather. It was totally everything that you had hoped it would be, and so was your little studio apartment, which wasn’t bad at all considering the cozy size, not to mention there were quite a few stores around, also well as the infamous main street.
You sighed, a twinge of sadness. At almost twenty-seven, this would be your first time ever living alone, having lived with your parents for a huge chunk of your life. You were still young and wanted to go out into the big world on your own, and for the longest Georgia had been calling out your name.
Some of your friends and family had discouraged you from going, claiming that it was ridiculous to move so far away from home so carelessly. For a minute, you had even thought so yourself, repeating it over and over again in your head that it wasn’t worth it, or that it was just a dumb dream, and you didn’t even have a path in mind. It was a reckless thing to do, to go into a whole new state with no clue on what you wanted to do with yourself, let alone who you wanted to be.
Yet, here you sat in your new apartment, with nothing but a suitcase, duffel bag and mattress to your name, yes, happier than you’ve ever been but lonely as well. You check your phone, swiping through your notifications before unlocking it, and opening your Instagram.
You had always been a quiet and reserved person with a bit of a wild side, which you kept hidden very well under wraps. Your feed consisted of hair tips, food, traveling, and a little heat. You followed a couple of influencers, mostly your favorite music artists, and actors. There were lots of concerts happening in Atlanta, which you found wasn't far away from Senoia at all. You'd always wanted to see some of your faves in person, but none of them had ever come out to where you used to live. Not to mention, it was expensive. Speaking of expensive, you realized that you would need to start looking for a job sooner or later if you wanted to keep your studio.
Luckily you had enough to pay rent for at least the next few months, however, groceries were quite pricey these days. You huffed and glanced over to your suitcase to where it remained unpacked in the corner, clothes spilling out of it from where you had been carelessly digging through it. You had only been in Georgia for a few weeks, and hadn't really left to go anywhere. By the looks from what you could see out the window, it was an undeniably nice day, and job opportunities were always fluttering around. You decided that it was finally time to get your shit together and show Senoia what kind of girl you really were.
Swinging off your makeshift bed, you rose to your feet, grimacing slightly and groaning softly as you stretched and walked over towards the bathroom, frowning at the tangled mess that was your hair once you stood in front of the mirror. There were also a few stains on your shirt. Yeah, a shower was definitely needed. You twisted the handle to the middle and allowed the water to heat up, padding over to your messy suitcase.
There were a couple of hangers in the closet but that was about it. Luckily there were also shelves built in which would have to do for now. You were probably going to need a small list of things, hangers being priority number one.
Going through the suitcase, you had your everyday clothes, some old work clothes, and few clubbing clothes. Your duffel bag contained your personable items, as well as a couple of important documents and paperwork for the apartment. You had already moved all your hygienic stuff into the bathroom, and decided to stress about putting away your clothes later, focusing on what you would actually wear out.
You wanted it to be a mix between comfortable yet classy, classy yet also sexy. A simple and lowcut long-sleeve matched with a pair of bootcut jeans that you could easily jazz up with some jewelry and a cute hairstyle. Draping the outfit over your bed, you began to rid yourself of your clothes, fishing a towel as well as a bra and pair of panties out of your duffel bag, and stacking them together on the bathroom counter. You played music off your phone out loud and made a mental note to also buy a speaker, letting out a satisfied groan as you stepped under the hot spray from the shower head.
The water ran down the length of your body from where it soaked in your curly hair, eyes fluttering shut as droplets began rolling down your face. It felt incredible to have days worth of bedrotting be finally washed down the drain. You wiped the water out your eyes and wringed it out your hair, reaching for the shampoo bottle and twisting the cap off, dumping a handful of the liquid into your palm. You smeared it from the top of your head, carrying it down to your ends, beginning to thoroughly scrub your way back up to your scalp, where you worked the soap into the strands.
Once your hair was completely coated and covered in suds, you rinsed the excess from your hands and grabbed your body wash to start cleaning yourself up as you let the shampoo soak into your hair. You drizzled a generous amount onto the sponge amd ran it under the hot water, rubbing it together in your hands to create the foamy bubbles. You began to work your way up one arm, scrubbing the skin as you went over your shoulder and underneath your arm, moving over across your collarbone to the other arm, eventually working down the length of your chest, as well as legs.
You squeezed the remaining soap out from the sponge, hanging it back in its spot as you started to rinse off your body, leaned your head back and wringing the sudsy water out your hair, hands working to wash all the shampoo out the coily strands. Not that you were in a rush, but it did take a little time, an ache beginning to form in your arms by the time you were done. Pumping a generous amount of conditioner into your hand, you worked it into your scalp with the tips of your fingers and rubbed it into the rest of the strands, clipping it back once there was no more left in your hands.
This time you shaved your legs, cause lord knows it’s been a minute since you’ve done that. In the process of shaving them, you noticed that your bikini area could also use some razor work.
It had been a little while since you had needed any reason to shave down there, but now that you were in a new environment with new faces, you never knew what you might stumble across. The men back in your hometown were okay, but you held your hopes up high that Senoia would toss something totally unexpected your way.
Once you were bare and smooth, you washed away the hair caught in your razor and unclipped your curly hair, rinsing off the clip before your hair, humming at how soft the strands felt under the stream of water. You squeezed and wrung out the conditioner, hearing the days of neglect run down the drain. When it was all out, you gave your body one last thorough scrub, properly washing off your skin from head to toe before shutting off the water and grabbing your towel.
You sighed as you patted your face dry, moving down your neck and chest. As you dried your hair, you stood in front of the mirror, lazily singing along to the current song playing and striking a few poses in your nude form. Although you did have a few insecurities, ones that sprouted from your late teen years and hadn't really left in your adult years, you preferred to just focus on the parts of yourself that you really liked.
It was still fairly early as you rechecked your phone, dropping the towel down on the ground and slipping on your panties, clasping your bra on shortly after. You grabbed your toothbrush and squeezed almost a little too much paste onto the bristles, giving it some water before scrubbing your teeth, mindlessly walking around your apartment as you did. The main street below your window was still bustling with cars and filled with people spilling out of shops, and music thumping from the lively restaurants. There was a nearby park that was full of squealing children, as well as other people from the community and neighboring apartment complexes. All of it was much different than what you had grown accustomed to back home, but it was such a nice change of scenery all at the same time, and you couldn't wait to throw yourself out onto Senoia's street.
Back in your little bathroom, you flicked the sink faucet on and spit the gathered foam out, filling your mouth with water and swishing it around for a little, spitting it out as well. You also brushed your tongue before taking in another mouthful of water, washing out the remaining toothpaste from your brush before dropping it back in its cup, shutting the sink off, and wiping your mouth dry. Taking a deep, but quick grounding breath, you moved to put your clothes on, hiking your fairly tight jeans up before slipping on your top. Even though it was plain black, it had a cute set of flared sleeves.
You dug through your bag for your box of jewelry as well as your makeup, setting both down heavily on the counter as you stared at your hair in the mirror, huffing in annoyance as you started to wonder if you needed to style it. Maybe a half-up half-down look? No, a full ponytail would be better. But a high bun would also be cute... or maybe a half-bun. Maybe bald. Bald would be best.
You mentally kick yourself as you flip the lid to your makeup box open to distract yourself from your hairstyle dilemma. You reassured yourself that you'd figure out something by the time you were fully ready, sighing as you prepped your face. The only times you ever really used makeup was when you were going out with intent, and wanted to make sure that your face stood out to any potential victims. It didn't take long to do as you pointedly and skillfully brushed sharp and soft lines over your honey skin, keeping your hand as steady as your body would allow you.
A few swipes of liner and mascara later, glossy lips, and the front of your hair parted to the side, you were clipping on a silver necklace paired with a bracelet, and a dangly pair of earrings. It was a bit simple, so you decided to layer another necklace on top of the other, smiling at yourself in the mirror before flipping the lights off, padding out into the bedroom, and fishing around for your purse, placing it on the bed next to you as you slid on a pair of wedged sandals. Hopefully, the foot pain later would be worth it.
You slipped your phone into your back pocket, and threw your purse onto your shoulder, tossing in a small bottle of perfume just in case. You shut the doors inside and flicked off the main room light, creaking your front door open and securely shutting it behind you, locking it with your keys before tossing them into your purse, striding down the hallway of your complex with intention hot in your steps.
When you pushed the door of your building open, the warm and inviting air of Senoia almost immediately filling your lungs, you felt a strong sense of anticipation surge through you as you walked out onto the sidewalk, the sounds of conversations now real and more animated than ever, the thumping of music now bumped through your feet and right in your chest.
As you casually strolled down the sidewalk, taking in all the different buildings and things to do, a furniture store caught your eye. While you didn't have any money, it never hurt to look around, and maybe get some information from some of the locals.
The furniture store was filled with pieces on the much older side and vintage lamps that only old ladies would be interested in, but you continued to walk around anyway. As you were browsing a wall of intricate paintings and sculptures, a kind-looking woman approached you.
"Welcome to Hollberg's! Our newer, more modern stuff is upstairs if that's more your style" She smiled, and you gave a polite one in return. "I'm just browsing for now. Just moved here about a week ago and I don't have a job yet" You lightly laughed.
The woman gave you an excited expression, clasping her hands together. "How nice! Where are you from originally?"
"Louisiana, Chalmette. I lived there for most of my life so I just needed a fresh start somewhere totally new." You sigh, still kindly smiling at her.
"I get that, and Senoia is perfect for that, Georgia overall. Atlanta is also quite close, and there's lots of job opportunities out there."
You frown, "Unfortunately I don't have a car, and you can't Uber without money" Shaking your head at your obviously very sticky situation.
The woman seemed to think for a moment, walking quickly away to fetch something from behind a desk and coming back over, holding out a few pieces of paper. "We aren't hiring now, but here are some flyers for restaurants in this strip. Not sure how lucky you'll get, but I do wish you luck. There's a cafe right across the way" You took the flyers from her, smiling at her one last. "Thanks girl. Hopefully, next time we talk it's about furniture" She let out a small laugh, watching as you spun on your heels and walked out of the store.
On your way out, you almost immediately spotted the cafe and wasted no time walking over to it, quickly crossing the street while throwing a few quick glances to the left and right as you did. Before you entered, you slipped the restaurant flyers into your purse and swung the door open, the smell of coffee strong and a bit overwhelming. The cafe was quite large inside, and there was a small line at the registers at near front, nothing you weren't willing to stand in.
Once you reached the front, you were greeted by a young woman, smiling brightly at you. "Hi! Welcome to Senoia's Coffee and Cafe, what can I get started for you?"
"Sorry, I'm not looking to buy anything, I'm actually looking for work. I just moved here about a week ago" She made a small look of surprise, furrowing her brows as she mouthed 'one moment' and disappeared behind a wall, returning mere seconds later with a sheepish look replacing her previous one. "We, unfortunately, aren't hiring right now. I think my boss is in a bad mood, but I heard the restaurant down the street is hiring! Uh, just can't think of the name"
You fish out the flyers, "Any of these?" Holding them out to her. She tilts her head, humming quietly before tapping her finger against one. "This place! They need waitresses, especially around this time. You'd be a great fit there too" She smiled, and you smiled back, giving her a "Thanks" before walking back out of the shop, and down the sidewalk, eyeing a few of the other buildings before stopping in front of dark gray one, reading the sign before pulling the door open.
The inside of the restaurant was absolutely stunning, with clean floors, and light walls mixed with brick that complemented the expensive chandlers hanging from the ceiling, highlighted against the polished wooden furniture. There was casual jazz playing in back, loud enough to hear but loud enough to still be able to talk normally.
The restaurant was fairly small, a highly stocked bar on one side and the dining room on the other, bathrooms at the back. You weren't quite sure where to stand, awkwardly off to the side as you scanned the room for someone, feeling relieved when a woman spotted you and called that she would be right there. You watched as she cleaned a finished table, quickly walking the dirty dishes into the kitchen before coming back out, huffing when she reappeared.
"It's a lot of work, huh?" You asked kindly, and she sighed.
"Hell yes. I jus' wish I had one more set of hands" She laughed airily, tapping at something on her register. "Table fer one?"
You shook your head, "No, I'm actually here to work. Just moved here a week ago" Smiling softly at her.
She gave you a look of surprise, "Really? Where ya comin' from?"
"Chalmette in Louisiana. I just needed a different change of scenery, somewhere new where I can figure my shit out" She nodded her head at your words. "I hear that. Good fer ya' girl! Like I said, I need one more set of hands. Got any experience?"
"I worked in a sports bar for a good while back home, there wasn't really much to work with" You sighed. "I've never served tables but I was a host for a little bit"
She seemed pretty satisfied, nodding as you spoke with a smile tugging her lips. "Well, I'd say yer gonna make a pretty good damn waitress. How soon can ya' start?"
"I'd start today if you let me" You laugh lightly, and she makes a face. "I mean if you can bring me the papers I need within the hour I can get you a shift tonight"
You blinked at her, raising a brow. "Seriously?"
"I'll give ya' the uniform straight after, m'serious" She smiled, holding out her hand.
You took hers in yours with little hesitation, shaking it firmly. “I’ll be right back” Was all you said before walking out the restaurant, quickly and eagerly striding back over to your apartment building. It was maybe a five minute walk, which was not bad at all. As you entered, walking through the lobby and up the stairs, you dug in your purse for the keys to your studio, swinging them around your finger as you walked down the hallway on your floor.
Unlocking the door, you stepped inside and shut it, placing your purse on the counter and taking out the flyers, rushing over to your suit case and flipping it open, rummaging through. You grumbled as you began pulling stuff out, zipping open pockets and shaking the bag, about to freak out when the blue folder fell out. “Aha!”
You cracked it open, smiling when you confirmed the important papers such as your W2 as well as birth certificate. You rose to your feet and it in your purse, finish out your wallet to make sure you had your I.D as well as social security, tossing it back into the bag and sliding it back over your shoulder, setting out your house once again to go get your new job.
You felt a small amount of anxiety boiling in your stomach as the sun started to set, the main street of Senoia, only get louder and louder, even through your shut window. Your eyes flickered down to your pressed uniform, sharply exhaling as you checked the time on your phone and unlocked it, rereading the schedule over and over again. It was about five-thirty, and you needed to be there at six.
Hooking your phone up to get some more charge as you stripped out your regular clothed and into your work ones, humming pleasantly as you looked the mirror. The shirt was tight but loose fit, and the pants covered your ankles. It was an all black uniform, ‘Nic & Norman’s’ in the left corner embroidered in white.
To keep your hair out the way, but still stylish, you tied it back into two high and curly space buns. You decided to go for a simple cat eye liner look, sticking on a pair of lashes instead of mascara this time. A few quick swipes of a rose pink gloss, and a couple spritz’s of your most expensive perfume, you were done and ready to go.
As you slipped a pair of black tennis shoes on, you still had a lingering feeling of nerves in your tummy. This wasn’t your first job obviously, but this was you first waitress job. The woman you had spoken too, who’s name you learned was Tyler, reassured you that you were a perfect fit.
Standing in the mirror one last time, you gave yourself a good look over to make sure you looked professional and presentable, hopefully also tippable.
You tossed your purse over your shoulder, and draped a sweater over yourself, flipping off all the lights and shutting the front door behind you, locking it and stuffing your keys inside.
Just as you expected, the air was brisk and much cooler than it had been when the sun was still high in the sky, night falling over the streets and Senoia’s street lighting itself up, restaurants now more alive than ever. As you walked with a small crowd, you observed how almost everyone was now dressed in more proper attire, nicely ironed suits paired to modestly short dresses.
The outside seating of Nic & Norman’s was already packed full when you arrived, swinging the door open to find the inside seats equally as stuffed. You felt your nerves soaring this time, and tried not to awkwardly duck your head down as you walked into the kitchen, feeling like a foreigner.
“Y/n! Thank fuck!” Tyler gasped from behind you, making you jump slightly. “I’ve got salads and burgers wedged so far up m’fuckin’ ass” She grumbled, grabbing you by thw wrist and pulling you quickly through the clamoring kitchen into a back office.
She dropped down onto a seat, sighing heavily. “Is it like this every night?” You asked, a little more scared then you should be.
“Sometimes. If m’not mistaken, one of the owners should be coming tomorrow. Boy do I sure hope it’s Norman” Tyler sighed, dreamily at the end. She stared off into space with a small smile, and you looked around the room, looking at the overflowing cubbies. “Shit sucks. Ya’ can stick yer stuff with mine” She spoke, snapped out her trance and pointing at a pile a good distance away from the rest. “It’s okay. People know not ta’ fuck with m’shit” Tyler added when she saw the wary look on your face.
“So, who exactly is ‘Nic and Norman’?” You question, and Tyler’s mouth drops.
“You don’t know who Greg Nicotero and Norman Reedus are?” You shook your head, brows furrowed in pure confusion. Maybe you did know them, you just never were very big on putting faces to names.
Tyler whipped out her phone, but frowned. “Shit girl, forgot we had a job ta’ be doin’. Don’ even stress. Ya’ look real good. Shirt fits ya’ good too. Yer gon be loaded up with tips, ‘nd m’sure ya’ can handle tha’ creeps” She rose to her feet, checking her own makeup in the camera lense of her phone before pocketing it. “And don’ try ta’ be fuckin’ superman and carry thirty plates at a time. Pro-tip, learn some Tetris” Tyler swiped a new layer of gloss on her lips, and tossed it into her pocket, pulling you back through the busy kitchen.
“Luckily they print tha’ table number tha’ food is fer on tha’ ticket, so tha’ chef’s started ta’ put tickets with plates, so when ya come here, just find yer table” She explained quickly yet simply, each word she spoke going in one ear and echoing in the other, turning themselves on loop.
Tyler poked her head out the kitchen, looking around before she beckoned someone over. A young man came jogging over, and she pulled him inside by his shirt. Damn if she didn’t play around.
“This is Javi, one of our hosts tonigh’.” Tyler gestured to his with her hands, and he waved politely. “Javi is gon’ show ya’ yer table section. From this point on, m’gon be nothin’ but a blur ta’ ya” She placed a hand on your shoulder, smiling at you before turning and picking up the plates from earlier, easily balancing them on her arms and kicking open the kitchen door, out onto the floor.
A awkward moment of silence passed between you and the young man, not really quiet, but there were no words spoken as he swiped through something on an iPad, brows slightly furrowed. “You’re um, you’re y/n right?” He mumbled, and you nodded.
Javi motioned for you to follow him with his head, and he led you out into the loud dining area, bringing you over towards the bar. “See those four tables there?” He pointed, and you had to follow his finger, nodding when you spotted the four booths he was pointing to. “All yours. They can hold up to like ten people, so good luck.” You grimaced at that, feeling your stomach do flips.
“Here. Can’t be a waitress without your notepad. Or a pen” Javi joked, and you smiled kindly at him, thanking him. As you did, a new wave of people entered, prompting Javi to go over and get them situated. You watched as he seated the new guests, and pulled a group waiting from the lobby, grabbing their menus and leading them over to your section.
He came back over, mouthing ‘all yours’ before disappearing into the kitchen.
You took a few, shaky and deep breaths, before putting on your friendliest face and approaching the table.
Luckily, it was just a simple family, mom and dad with their two kids who seemed to be well over the age of ten. You greeted them with a kind smile, “Welcome to Nic & Norman’s, my name is Y/n and I’ll be your server tonight. Can I get you started on any drinks?” You clicked your pen, pressing it into the pad of paper.
The mother smiled back at you, “You guys sure are busy! I bet it’s always exciting when they come to town, huh?” She glanced back at her menu, acting as if she hadn’t left you totally clueless.
“Yeah. It’s only my first day here so I’m a little nervous” You confess, brushing off her earlier statement. “Gosh! Well, guess we’re testing you now!” She laughed, and you laughed as well, only a tad unnerved. “I think I’ll just do a simple cocktail” You nodded, writing down at the top of the pad. Her son ordered a strawberry lemonade, her daughter a soda, and her dad a beer.
“I’ll have those right out for you guys” You clicked your pen once again, and quickly walked away, retreating back into the kitchen.
You pushed the doors open, but frowned at the loud clamoring and multiple orders being shuffled out. No way in hell would your drinks be done in a reasonable time. You exited out the kitchen, glancing around when you had a lightbulb moment.
“Psst, hey muscle man” You called to the bartender, leaning against the counter. “Think you could make these real fast?” You held out the drink ticket, wiggling it as you flirtatiously smiled and batted your lashes.
He stammered for a second, “muscle man?” glancing down at himself and feeling a heat rise to his cheeks. What could you say? You knew a strong man when you saw one.
You kept your hand outstretched, motioning for him to take it.
“Do I even know you?” He raised a brow, and you shook your head. “Nope. But you should do it anyways” You smile, and he frowns, taking the paper from your hand. You spot Javi leaving your section, throwing you a glance and a thumbs up, and you tap the bartop. “I’m counting on you, Hercules”
You approach your second table, and feel a hint of annoyance surge through you as you discover it’s a group of men. Very loud ones at that. You put on your best fakest smile, clicking your pen against your leg as you spoke. “Welcome to Nic & Norman’s, my name is Y/n and I’ll be your server tonight. Can I get a round of drinks going for you gentlemen?”
One of the men whistled, “Well ain’t you just somethin’ pretty to look at” letting out a very country laugh.
A few of the other men let out laughs, and you simply smiled, more of ‘I wish I was off the clock so I could rock you’ smile, but still a smile. “Yeah. I’m also here to get you guys something to drink” You joked, knowing men tipped more when you gave into their antics.
"Let the woman do her job, Bill" Another man said to him, nudging him with his arm and he swatted them away. You tapped your pen against the paper, trying not to hurt one of them. Thankfully they made things easy and agreed to order a round of beer. You murmured that you'd be back, quickly walking out of the section to the bar.
When you walked over, you could see the family's drinks sitting on top of the counter and swapped out the drink tickets when you stopped before them. It was a little awkward trying to carry four drinks at once, struggling as you kept picking up and putting the cups downs.
“See? Wha' did I say?” Tyler spoke as she suddenly appeared next to you, placing a hand on her hip. “Tryin’ be some kind of fuckin’ avenger when yer jus’ makin’ yerself look goofy” She scoffed and held out her dish tray, watching as you placed the drinks down on it.
You took it from her with a sheepish look. "Thanks, Just a bit on edge" You told her, and she placed both her hands on your shoulders, smiling softly at you. "Don' be. Yer a natural. Jus' keep doin' wha' yer doin'" She gave you a salute and was gone as quickly as she had come.
Sighing sharply, you walk the tray of drinks over to the family with a smile and hand them, listening to the mother awe over the colors of her cocktail. "How pretty! I think we're all ready to order, right?" She glanced at her family for their confirmation, and you pulled your notepad out, tucking your tray under your arm. The mother ordered a margarita flatbread, her husband ordering a whiskey salmon, and her kids both ordering a classic hamburger. "I'll have those out for you guys shortly" You smiled once you had their order scribbled down, collecting their menus and leaving them be.
You walked past the men's table, briefly letting them know you were coming back with their beers, and dropped the menus off to the front where Javi was standing, getting the next group of people seated. "Y/n, I'm gonna stick these folks in your section. Hand me those" He said as he turned to you, taking the menus from your hand and leading them to your third table. You weren't doing too bad if you did say so yourself.
Thanks to the help of the tray, loading up the round of beers for the men wasn't much of a hassle at all. When they saw you approaching with the mugs filled to the bim, they whooped and hollered, prompting you to shush them as they began to collect eyes nearby. Instead of handing out the drinks like you did with the last table, you simply let them take their respective mug off the tray, knocking their glasses together. "I'm guessing you fellas are ready to order huh?" You give them your best show, even jutting your hip out a little. Don't get mad at a girl for using her resources.
"You bet'cha sweet ass we are, and this big boy wants a steak" The one they call Bill piped up once again, drumming on his belly as he spoke. A few laughs erupted from the table, and you felt your eye twitching. "How would you like that cooked?" You mumbled, smile just barely clinging to your face. "Medium-rare. I like mines to be pink on the inside" He laughed gravelly, and you tried to act like he wasn't comparing a steak to someone's vagina.
The same man nudged Bill, this time a little harder and more serious than last time. "Sorry 'bout him. I'll do the medallions" You nodded at him as you wrote down his order, murmuring how it was alright. The other men just started to throw their orders out there, placing their menus down in the middle once you had their request scribbled down. You gathered all the menus and dropped them off to the front, exhaling as you made your way to the kitchen in order to get your tables food started.
As you pushed the door open, you groaned when you saw how chaotically busy it was getting, loud chattering and banging filling the space. Orders were lined up and quickly being pushed out, some of the other waiters brushing past with their own trays of food in hand. Glancing around for someone, you awkwardly handed off the papers to the nearest chef. Getting ready to exit out the kitchen, feeling as though you were in the way the sound of applause rang out from the front, and all movement around seem to freeze for split second. You all looked around at each other, mirroring faces of confusion before Tyler came barreling through the doors.
"Norman fucking Reedus just fucking walked in and I swear on everythin' I love I'm gon’ go absloutely mad" She rambled, bouncing with energy.
“I thought he wasn’t supposed to come til tomorrow?” The head chef spoke, rising a brow from where he was manning a large grill.
Tyler rolled her eyes, charging towards rhe back office. “Who cares? He’s here now ‘nd I need ta’ make sure I look good!” She got about halfway, before turning back around grabbing you by the wrist, resuming her mission to the office.
Inside, she shuffled over to hee stuff, digging through a backpack and pulling out a makeup bag, plopping down in a seat and pulling up the lens of her phone. “So what’s the big deal?”
“Wha’s tha’ big deal?” Her eyes almost bulged out of her head, staring at you in shock and a bit of horror. “Oh, nothin’, jus’ tha’ he’s tha’ sexiest guy in Hollywood”
You scoffed at her, “Sexy ain’t nothing if he’s shit in the sheets” shaking your head.
Tyler groaned, curling her lashes carefully. “Ya’ don’ even know wha’ yer talkin’ ‘bout. He’s a munch, certifiable”
“Psh. I’ll believe that when I see it.” You say, turning to walk out the office and get a look at this guy for yourself.
“Wait!” Tyler held out her hand, rising to her feet. “Yer not leavin’ without a little touchup. One of us is gettin’ lucky tonight and it’s gon’ be me. If ya’ fuck him, I want all them details” She spoke as she maneuvered you to sit in the chair, tilting your your head up and insecpting your face.
“If I do fuck him it’ll just be so I can get ahold of his wallet” You murmur, closing your eyes as she dusted the lids of them with glitter, brushing some down the bridge of your nose. “Well ya’ better share some with me” She pinched your nose, and you swatted playfully at her, smirking. “I’ll think about it”
She swipes a glossy layer of gloss over your lips, before her own, tossing the contents of her makeup back into the bag and the bag back into her backpack. The kitchen has returned to loud clamoring and pots and pans being banged together, servers dashing in and out with their orders.
Nearby by, the food for your first table was waiting patiently for you, and you gasped softly. “Oh wow this stuff actually looks really good!”
Tyler held out the dish tray for you, again, holding it with both hands and verbally helping you to cram all four dishes on there, the flatbread being a long and awkward dish. “The salmon is super good. I probably done’ forced the kitchen ta’ make it fer m’bout a hundred times now” She laughed as she spoke, gingerly handing off the the tray to you. “Don’ drop nothin’”
“Now why would you even say that?” You roll your eyes at her, and lightly kick her shin, turning on your heel quickly to walk out the kitchen when she frowned your actions.
You pushed the door open with your hip and walked back out into the busy dining area, a smile on your face as you approached the family with their food, placing the tray down on the table so you could hand out their plates easily. The mother helped by taking her flatbread off, humming as she made sure it was exactly what she had wanted. “Could I get anything else for you folks tonight?” You politely asked, sliding the tray off the table and back under your arm. “Nope! Thank you, you’ve been so kind and helpful” The woman smiled back at you, and you slightly bowed your head before leaving them to their meal.
“I should be back with you guys food as well. Another round while we wait?” You stopped by the mens table, observing their almost empty mugs and giving a thumbs up at their rowdy agreement. “And my apologies for the wait. At least you had plenty of menu looking time right?” You joked lightly as you finally approached your third table for the night, a small group of friends who seemed like easy people to deal with.
“Ahaha, not much. We were pretty hung up on drinks. I think we’re all gonna try the Bloody Nicotero” One of the women spoke, glancing around the table for her friends confirmations. They all nodded in agreement, and another girl requested for a cup of water. “Would you like table water? For all of you!” They nodded, and you scribbled down the few drinks. “I’ll be right back with those” You smile at them, and as soon as you walk out the section it totally drops.
“Hey, muscle man!” You called out to him, leaning over the bartop. He eyed you from the side, finishing the drink he was currently pouring before moving over to you, a brow raised. “I have a name y’know” He pointed to the tag, but you ignored him, raising your own finger and pointing to the group’s order. “What the hell is a bloody Nekot… Nickote- Tar?-“
“Nicotero. And it really packs a punch” A man spoke suddenly from behind you, making you instinctively jump with your hands raised. “My God! Didn’t your momma teach you not to walk up behind people?” You huffed and put a hand over your thumping heart, turning back to the bartender to promptly ignore the asshole behind you.
“So like I was saying- What? Why’re you looking like that?” You glance at his stun face, and turn back to the man behind you, a curious smile tugging his lips. “Are you Nicotero?” You quirk a brow, and the bartender sputters.
The man lets out a light chuckle, shaking his head which made his wavy curls bounce. His hair was fair dark and stopped at his shoulders, his bangs attractively pushed back by a pair of sunglasses. He was pretty tall, and very well built, eyes lingering on his musclar arms longer than they should’ve. Your eyes flickered down to the skull inked on his hand, and then back up to his face.
“Nope. Nicotero is the other guy. I’m just Norman” His voice was smooth and rich, but not quite deep. It had a light and airy feel to it, very gentle on the ears.
Norman. Norman… “Reedus?” He nodded. Oh, well, shit. “Don’ know if you were aware of this pretty girl but I own this place” He spoke casually and easily.
“I wasn’t actually. I’ve only lived here for a week” You told him, watching as the bartender busied himself with your group’s drinks, as well as the men’s beers. “And this is my first day working here, and right now you, Norman, are being a distraction”
He raised a bow, smile only growing across his lips as he spoke. “That’s just what I do best darling”
You placed the tray down on the bartop and assist the man in fitting both the bloodies and waters onto the platter, slowly and very carefully picking it up.
Norman stepped out your way, and as you shuffled past him you stopped to whisper in his ear. “I feel like there’s a lot else you do best” You murmured, flirtatiously winking and walking into your section, greeting the friend group with a smile.
“Got your drinks here folks, heard these things knock your socks off so good luck” You joke as you hand out straws, clicking your pen and flipping through your notepad. “Is everyone ready to order?” You press the tip of the pen into the paper, writing down the first order shouted out and going down the line. There was a simple mix of burgers and salads, a few people had special requests on how they wanted their food to be which you wrote underneath, small but big at the same time.
You collected their menus, letting them know you'd have their food out shortly and whisking away, dropping the menus off at the front and walking quickly to the kitchen, glancing at Javi who seemed to be conversing with Norman. You pushed the door open and huffed a sigh of relief when the men's food was sitting there waiting. Placing the tray down, you loaded the plates on the best you could, having to carry two of them out with your other hand, balancing one on your forearm.
Another waitress saw you as she entered the kitchen, and she politely held the door open for you, nodding as you thanked her on your way out.
"Not gonna drop that are you?" Javi questioned when you walked back past, causing Norman to turn and glance at you.
You continue walking away, a smirk pulling your lips. "Not if you stop talking" The feeling of eyes lingering on your back makes a chill run up your spine, and part of you swears that you can feel butterflies in your stomach.
The men see you approaching their table, and at first, they start cheering but quiet down when they realize you were balancing heavy plates, resuming their celebration once the food is safely placed on the table. You call out the names of dishes to find their rightful owner, watching the men grab their plates and eagerly start eating, satisfied groans sounding from the table. With that, you left them to eat and returned back to the family, who was chatting amongst themselves and seemed finished with their food, most of it half eaten.
"Would you guys like some to-go boxes?" You smile, and the mother nods, "Yes please, and you can bring the tab as well," mirroring the kind smile you gave her.
You informed her you'd be right back with that, quickly walking out of the section and to the kitchen, glancing around. "Where's Tyler?" You asked a nearby chef, and he furrowed his brows, tilting his head in confusion. You repeated your question, a little louder this time, and he made an 'O' face, pointing to the office. You thanked him, and made your way back there, knocking before creaking the door open.
"What are you doing?" You stare at her, sitting in the chair with a tall cup and her phone in her hand. "Wha'? I needed my coffee" She shrugged, a smile playing on her lips. "Talk to my beloved husband yet?" You rolled your eyes at that, stepping inside the office, but catching yourself. "Wait! Uh, my first table is ready to pay"
"Oh!" Tyler kicked herself off the chair, stretching and taking another sip of her caffeine. "C'mere, lemme show ya'" She said as she ushered you out. She led you through the kitchen, bringing you to a section behind the door you hadn't even noticed was there.
There was a computer with a list of waiters and waitresses on them, table numbers as well as totals on it. You spotted your name, and read the first tables total, which actually wasn't a bad price at all. "Jus' click tha', and then the huge print button" Tyler pointed, tapping the screen as she explained. The machine behind the computer whizzed to life, printing out a receipt. "They want boxes?" She questioned and you nodded, watching as she reached her hand down and pulled four to-go boxes out. You took them from her silently, blinking as if she had just performed a magic trick.
Tyler tore the receipt out of the machine, clicking her pen and scribbling something down. As she did, the machine began to print once again, and Tyler pulled out a slim booklet from underneath. "It prints twice 'cause tha' second receipt is tha' one tha' customer signs" She said as she took the paper out the machine, sticking it into the booklet, and handing it to you.
You took it from her with a smile. "Thanks. I did talk to Norman, and he's alright. Nothing too special" She gawked at your words, and started to playfully smack you with her hands. "Ugh! Ya' don' know wha' yer yappin' 'bout! Tha' man will change yer life" She harped, voice fading as you walked out the kitchen, lips stuck in a smile as you brought over your first tab of the night.
The rest of your shift went by with a breeze, the number of people coming in was now lessening and coming in pairs of two and four. It wasn't as busy anymore, and the air around seemed to be less tense.
You only had about one more hour left before you were done, and had about two tables still waiting for their food. You were ecstatic that your first night had gone by without any mishaps or complaints, having received generous tips from all your tables throughout.
On your way back to the kitchen to check on your last few orders, you spotted Norman sitting alone at the bar with a small drink in hand as he seemed to do something on his phone. You aren't sure what came over you, but you found yourself quietly approaching from behind.
"Shouldn't you be riding away in a limo back to your mansion?" He jumped slightly at the sudden sound of your voice, turning towards you with a small smile. "Maybe, but I didn't wanna leave without getting to know you better" You raised a brow at that. "Seriously? I'm just a waitress. Shouldn't you be like screwing around with models?"
Norman laughed at that, shaking his head a little. "Who's to say you aren't a model?"
"Well, aren't you just a real charmer" You giggled, feeling a heat rising to your cheeks. "What? You wanna take me home or something?" You said jokingly, standing more off to his side now.
You observed the look on his face, soft, interested, yet so dark. His piercing blue eyes shamelessly raked over your figure, tongue darting out over his lips. "Yeah. I really do" He whispered, eyes landing on yours. "Can I?"
"Not very celeb-like taking home staff don't you think?" You hummed, taking his drink and downing the rest, a mix between whiskey and coke. "It would be quite unprofessional for you to take me to your house when I get off in thirty minutes, very unprofessional indeed" You sensually mumbled, tossing him a final cheeky glance before disappearing into the kitchen, almost sprinting to the back office to go find Tyler, giddy smile tugging your lips.
Staring at his now empty glass, head resting in his hand, Norman couldn't help the way his stomach flipped, excitement and anticipation building up as your words rang out in his head.
Thirty minutes had felt like a whole other hour, and you heaved a sigh of relief when you finally clocked out, purse slung over your shoulder and your sweater draped over yourself in a puny attempt to shield yourself from the cold.
Tyler had almost flipped the table over when you told her, jumping off the walls and excitedly shaking you, squealing as she rambled about all the things she thought were gonna happen, yelling that you needed to tell her every detail afterward. She even downright begged for you to get some pictures.
She had already left in her car to go home, slamming the digits of her number into your phone and pulling you into a tight hug, telling you to be safe and text her as soon as you got to your next destination, threatening to send out a search squad.
You stood outside, mindlessly rolling a rock under your foot and swiping through Insta, starting to wonder if a literal A-list celeb had just totally played in your face. Minutes went by and you started to feel a little offended, rightfully so, deciding to start making your way back home instead of waiting around like an idiot. As you were walking, you texted Tyler that you were leaving, that he had just left instead. Cars passed by and obviously none seemed to belong to someone who would own a restaurant. You scoffed, annoyed but not surprised.
As you rounded the corner to the street of your apartment building, you just so happened to crash into somebody smoking a cigarette, of coursing falling onto your ass like a dumbfuck.
"Damn, tryna run away from me gorgeous?" Norman's light voice sounded, and you blinked your eyes into focus. "Been looking for you" You grumbled as he easily lifted you off the ground, taking a drag from the cigarette. "Sorry. I get bored sitting still for too long" He shrugged, smiling cheekily at you. "Ready to go?"
"Go where? My house is right there" You shook your head, gesturing towards the building.
Norman waved his hand, dismissing you. "Nah. Gonna take you for a little ride. C'mon," He took a final pull, stubbing his cig out on the wall and motioning for you to follow him.
He led you back down the sidewalk and a little distance from the restaurant, making easy and light conversation. It felt like you had known him forever with the way he casually joked around with you, your heart fluttering a little each time he laughed.
He walked you over to a sleek and shiny motorcycle, standing on the other side of it with his hand held out, offering you some help with climbing onto the back of his bike. "A romantic bike ride? And here I thought you had ghosted me" You laughed when he himself straddled the bike, the engine roaring to life.
"Ghosted? Someone like you? Never doll" Norman chuckled over the rumble of his bike, kicking the stand out and rolling out the parking lot, glancing both ways for any passing cars.
You wrapped your arms around his middle when he started to pick up speed, turning off Senoia's main road and revving the engine, motorcycle quickly shooting forward. "Not so fast!" You gasp, tightening your hold. He laughed, patting one of your hands with his. You put your head on his shoulder to get a better view of the road, catching a strong whiff of his very expensive-smelling cologne, an exotic herbal smell that attracted you to him more, a heat shooting down to your core.
Norman caught a glimpse of your lust-filling eyes in his side mirror, bottom lip caught between his teeth as he knew he was in for a treat tonight, almost instinctively revving his engine again to speed up, but obeyed your request to not go too fast. He drove with the flow of traffic, listening to you awe over the lights and buildings. "Ever been to Atlanta?"
"Atlanta? Wh-why are we going there?" You stammered, taken aback since well, that was bit of a distance.
"Oh no doll, we aren't going. Yer just back there 'oh'ing and 'awe'ing I figured not" Norman chuckled, laughing when you smacked his shoulder. "Hold on, we're almost there" This time he revved his engine again, weaving between cars.
It made you feel like a teenager again, getting whisked away at night to some random guys house for an hour or two of fun, just to be dropped off somewhere unknown but close to home. It brought you back to your early twenties also, the years having been filled with nothing but hungover days and drunken nights, latching onto some poor guy who was willing to buy you every shot you down, likely in hopes of getting laid.
Sitting on the back of Norman’s bike however, something your gut told you this would be a little more than just a plain hook-up. Tyler’s words rang out in your head, and you couldn’t help but start to wonder if this really would change your life.
The traffic on the road dispersed as he drove further out, eventually turning down a quiet and dirt road.
“Whoa, I ain’t about to get murdered am I?” You joked, but you were really asking.
Norman chuckled, squeezing your hand and even looping his fingers through. “Nah. I’d take you out somewhere pretty”
“You wanna take me out or take me to bed?” You wiggled your fingers in his hold as a mock wiggle of the brows.
“Maybe I wanna do both”
Jesus, this man was something else.
The dirt road continued out for a couple of miles out, gravel and rocks crunching under the spinning tires of his bike. The road seemed to be hidden by a tall grassy field and towering trees, the only sound interrupting the peace being the rumble of Norman’s engine.
He made another turn, the tall field of grass seeming endlessly as he drove until you could barely make out what looked like houses at the top of a field. Shit, maybe he really was gonna murder you?
Norman revved the engine and the motorcycle picked up speeds, whipping the cool country air into your face and probably messing up your tied hair. The large houses came closer into view, huge properties with cars in driveways and lights on. The houses were scattered, your next-door neighbor being about five normal houses away.
Norman rolled down the street at a slower speed as to not disturb his neighbors, approaching a dark and gated house. The gates opened after the man pressed a few buttons on his phone, the outside lights of the home fading on and making it look more welcoming.
The gates closed behind the two of you when he rumbled onto the large driveway, lazily parking his bike right where he was.
This time you didn’t need any help, swinging yourself off the motorcycle and immediately tossing your arms up to stretch as you stared at the literal mansion you were about to walk into.
“C’mon. Did you get a chance to eat?” Norman placed a hand on your hip and led you to the front door, some fancy thumbprint technology letting him in.
“Not yet,” You smile softly as you enter the home, standing in the boxed-off foyer. “I got whisked away before I could escape back home”
“Well, I surely didn’t bring you here to starve you. Take your shoes off, I’ll mix something up” Norman said as he took his own shoes off, socked feet quiet against his wooden floors.
You toed off your own shoes next to his and followed, staring in awe at the midsized entrance. Two staircases descended on either side, leading to an equally large-looking upstairs with a small balcony.
Straight ahead, there was an opening that led out to the spacious main area, tall industrial windows covered the walls in the living room, paired with ceiling-to-floor navy blue curtains tied back so as to probably let in the earlier sunlight. The kitchen was big as well, with dark and wooden cabinets matched to grey ash-colored granite counters with specs of black obsidian throughout.
You had never seen such a gorgeous home, marveling at how clean it was. It had a luxurious feel while still being homely at the same time, a few paintings and sculptures hung up on the walls, sitting on table tops.
“This place is beautiful,” You said after taking a minute to fully appreciate the decor, resting your hip against the counter. “Do you live here?” You placed your purse down.
Norman laughed from somewhere, rounding a corner with an expensive-looking bottle of whiskey. “For the moment. I’m usually out in New York, but I have to be here for some work” You watched as he poured two glasses, handing you one a small smile.
You clinked the glasses together and both threw them back, the liquid burning your throat as well as your chest. “What do you do for work?” You said as you cleared your throat.
“Well right now we’re shooting,” Norman said casually, turning and opening the large fridge.
“A movie?” You question, pulling at the collar of your shirt.
The man chuckled slightly, “Do you have any ideaa who I am?” turning to you with a playful smile tugging his lips.
You scoffed, cheeks heating up a little bit because, well, “No, not really. My co-worker seemed to be a fan though”
“Oh really now? What’d she tell you?” Norman quipped, chopping and tossing the ingredients for what you could see was a really stuffed chicken salad.
“That you were the sexiest guy in Hollywood” He laughed at that, and you couldn’t help but stare at his broad shoulders from behind, watching his back muscles as he fixed the food.
“Well?” He said after a minute, and you realized you had zoned out. “What?”
Norman glanced at you, a dark look in his blue eyes. “Do you agree with her?”
You stared at him for a moment, before slowly approaching, stopping only a few centimeters short from him.
“Make me agree with her” You whispered, batting your lashes as you ran your finger up his arm.
Norman halted his movements, staring at you before his eyes flickered down to your lips, not hesitating to lean down and kiss them.
“Ya’ ain’t got no clue what you’re askin’ for, doll” He rasped, disregarding the half-made salad as he gripped your waist, lifting you off your feet and onto the island top, slotting himself between your legs as he moved to capture your lips in another kiss, this one way more eager and heated.
You moaned softly into his mouth as his hands caressed and fondled your waist, sliding down to your hips and pulling you closer against him, pressed his bulge into your clothed cunt.
He kissed you calculated yet sloppily, tongue swirling around in your mouth as his fingers slipped under your uniform. You hooked an arm around the back of his neck and bit down on his bottom lip, hard enough to where he groaned painfully. “Come on, impress me already”
“Whadd’ya want from me?” Norman started to kiss and lick your neck, but you yanked his head back by his hair, for starters yanking the pokey sunglasses off. “I wanna see what you’ve got, maybe like,” You trailed a hand down his chest, pushing him hard so he stumbled into the counter behind him. “What you’ve got in your pants?”
You kicked yourself off the island, pulling the hair ties out your hair and fluffing it out, dropping down to crawl over to Norman, evil smile taking over your lips as you scratched your nails down his denim jeans, mouthing and placing open mouth kisses over his straining cock.
Norman groaned above you, “Think ya can handle it?” a hand coming down and tangling into your hair.
“Can you handle it?” You retort, taking the zipper of his jeans between your teeth and unzipping them, popping the button open.
You tugged his boxers down, very unexpectedly getting smacked in the face by his cock, a good thick eight inches. His tip was red and leaky, the veins running along his shaft pulsating. You had been with your fair share of big guys, but Norman was quite impressive, your fingers stretching when you wrapped them around him.
You gave him a few experimental strokes, playfully looking up at him through your lashes as you run your tongue from his balls, all the way up to the head of his cock, swirling your tongue around it and taking it into your mouth, sucking the salty pre-cum off.
Norman’s hips jerked slightly, a mumble of curses falling from his lips as he tightened his grip on your hair. “M’not gonna be very nice to ya’ if you keep it up” He grunted, his face a little flushed.
“Didn’t want you to be nice in the place” You mused as you licked down the sides of his throbbing dick, smearing spit from your tongue as you went along. “Such a big cock but do you even know how to use it?”
Norman scoffed slightly, “Ya’ really don’t know who I am” rolling his hips when you took only his tip past your lips.
“Gonna show me?” You wiggled your butt a little, a surge of excitement coursing through you when rough hands gathered all your hair in one. “Yup, gon’ make you remember it too. Open that little bratty ass mouth wide” He tugged your head back, and you moaned, stretching open your lips as well curling your tongue inside your mouth.
Norman slowly slid himself inside, grunting at the warm wetness engulfing him as he leisurely rocked his hips, thrusting half his cock past your lips. There was an uncomfortable stretch the more he pushed in, a slight burning sensation as he worked himself in.
“I know this pretty throat can take a lot more, c’mon girl” Norman rasped, tilting your head further back and holding himself at his base, pushing in until his tip hit the back of your throat.
You relaxed your gag muscles, staring up at him innocently as you started to slide the head of his cock down, Norman letting out a thick hum as his grip in your hair tightened and his eyes fluttered, his hips jerking forward. He snapped the rest of his length suddenly down into your throat, a harsh grunt coming from him when your moan vibrated through him.
He pulled his hips back and sent them forward again, going smoothly back down in one thrust, repeating this action a few times. Norman watched how all his cock disappeared past your plush lips, nose nuzzled in his well-trimmed pubes before he pulls his hips back, leaving only the tip in before fully sliding right back down.
You squeezed your thighs together each time he plunged his cock into your mouth, eyes rolling shut as he started to increase his pace, only pulling himself out halfway now.
“Takin’ me so well gorgeous,” Norman said in a low, husky drawl. “S’like ya’ were made for this”
He was practically humping your face at this point, his own a bright shade of red as pants, and small gasps came from him, flat-out fucking your mouth. Each little noise that came from him made your cunt throb.
Speaking of throbbing, you could feel the way Norman’s cock was pulsating in your throat, deep and shaky grunts starting to come from him. His hips sped up, the sound of his balls slapping against your chin slightly echoing in the spaciousness, the soft gagging of his cock abusing your throat only heard between the two of you, followed soon by Norman’s heavy whimpers, grip on your hair impossibly tight.
His hips stuttered, cock twitching and spasming as he spilled deep inside your throat, trying your best to swallow but you sputtered around him, cum dribbling from the sides of your mouth.
Norman pulled himself out from your mouth, groaning softly at the cool air hitting his sloppy dick as it rested still painfully hard against your equally messy lips, gasping as you stared up at him.
“Impressed yet?” He raised a brow, out of breath himself.
You ran your tongue over your top lip, tasting his bitter release with a smile. “I thought you weren’t gonna be nice? I think you’re being quite boring if you ask me” You teasingly spoke.
Norman smirked, “Who said I was done? By the time m’done with ya’, your body will remember the shape of my cock” He said, snapping himself all the way back down into your throat, not wasting any time before he was fucking into it. He was still a little sensitive from his first orgasm, each bump of his tip pulling a husky whine from him.
It didn’t take long at all before he was already starting to get weak in the knees, each thrust feeling better than the last. He increased his pace, breathing picking up as small whimpers and gasps fell from his lips, a few final strokes before he was cumming down your throat, holding you flush against his navel as you swallowed the best you could.
He pulled out, leaving only the head of his cock on your tongue as he rutted against it, drawing out his orgasm until he was spent, cock softening when he pulled completely out.
You swallowed his load while staring right into his eyes, fluttering your lashes with your bottom lip caught between your teeth.
“Salad can wait. I wanna see wha’s hidin’ under this uniform” Norman said as he suddenly leaned down, scooping you up and tossing you over a sturdy shoulder, strong arm keeping you secure by your middle.
You let out a high yelp at the change in position, bouncing slightly as he trudged out of the kitchen, tugging at your pants as he climbed the stairs. He tossed them somewhere for you to hunt down in the morning, letting out a satisfied chuckle at your round backside, smacking a bubbly cheek. You giggled around a moan, especially when he firmly squeezed that cheek and spread it, helping himself to the view of your soaked panties, a dark red with black lace.
He pushed open a door to a huge and luxurious bedroom, the bed he dropped you on feeling like a cloud pulled straight out of the sky. Norman tore his shirt off, you doing the same as he dipped down, dragging his lips and teeth across your dark skin, sucking and biting as he explored your exposed collarbone.
You groaned and shamelessly wrapped your legs around his waist, pulling him down to feel his already-hardening cock against your wet heat. Norman seemed to have something different in mind.
“Wanna sit on my face, sweet girl?” He murmured into your ear, brushing curly hair out your face. “Did so well fer me, gotta return the favor”
“You don’t gotta ask me twice,” You said in a honeyed voice, using your legs to flip your positions.
Norman landed with a small sound, looking up at you as you rolled your hips down on where you had his cock trapped between your two bodies. His hands traveled up to your waist, caressing and fondling the deep skin.
You looked like a goddess straddling him, curly hair flowing everywhere and framing your upper half, Norman’s eyes flickering down to your black bra where your tits were practically spilling out. You crawled towards his face, dragging your core heat up his abs and pressing it on his chest, towering angelically above him.
“I hope you don’t disappoint me” You tease, lifting yourself up onto your knees as you stuff your panties to the side, heart racing a little.
Norman licked his lips, hands squeezing your hips as he watched you toy with your clit. “Wouldn’t be able to forgive myself” He whispered, tugging you towards him.
You lowered yourself down, Norman more so pulling you down onto his waiting tongue, licking a warm stripe up your aching cunt, a pleased moan coming from you as you gripped the headboard, rolling your hips.
He started at your clit, flattening his tongue and giving the puffy bundle of nerves multiple hard licks, waves of electricity shooting through all your limbs, down to your tightly curled toes. He took the small bud into his mouth, sucking hard and rubbing the tip of his tongue against the raw nerves, making you gasp and rut down onto him.
Norman seemed to be enjoying himself, soft groans of his own coming from him as he started to slide his tongue between your folds, teasing your entrance before swirling around your clit, repeating the action a few more times. He used his grip on your hips to steadily rock you back and forth in time with his deep licks.
Eventually, he slid his tongue all the way inside your hole, curling it as well as thrusting it in and out. “Mmm, fuck yes, keep using that fucking tongue in me” You were almost bouncing on his face at this point, passionately moaning as he curled the wet muscle into you, harshly licking as his nose bumped against your clitoris.
His hands encouraged your movements, fingers digging into the soft flesh of your ass as he plunged his tongue as deep into you as he could. His cock twitched and needily ached, hips slightly jerking upward into the air. You ground your clit down on the tip of his nose, body rolling as he worked you closer and closer to the edge.
Norman could feel you clenching around his tongue, deciding to speed up your nearing orgasm by suddenly slipping out you, replacing his nose on your clit for his tongue, and filling your back up with two thick fingers, blissfully curling right into your sweet spot. You moaned loudly as one of your hands tangled in his hair, gripping roughly. Your body trembled as he fingered you in time with his tongue, bone-crushing weight washing over you as your hole spasmed around his wiggling digits, grinding down on his tongue until you just couldn’t take it anymore, groaning as you could feel your used cunt leaking juices all over his hand and face.
You were both gasping for air when you lifted yourself onto wobbly knees, Norman’s fingers slipping out as you kept yourself steady by gripping the headboard with both hands.
“Are ya’ impressed now?” He asked, audibly out of breath as he licked your slick from his glistening lips.
You scoff, smiling down at him. “A little, but I’d like to get to the main course now,” You said, swinging a leg and crawling off from above him. “No more side dishes”
Norman watched as you discarded the drenched pair of panties somewhere in the room, landing on the wooden floor with a small slap. You yanked your socks up, taking a needed second to ball them together before tossing them as well, starting to grab at Norman’s unbuttoned pants.
He helped kick them off, murmuring to you as he tugged his own socks off. “Forgot ta’ take yer bra doll”
“That’s your job, mister famous” You chuckle as he comes up behind you, hands exploring your bare melanin skin as they run up your sides, climbing and cupping your breast, circling to your back to unclasp the bra hooks. He threw the final piece of garment onto the floor, pulling you flush against his front.
He started sucking on your neck, one of his hands fondling your tit while the other snaked down to toy with your puffy clit. He rubbed his cock between your cheek, biting and licking his way to your shoulder. He pinched and rolled your nipple with his fingers, trailing his lips up the side of your neck and nibbling on your pulse.
You moaned softly when his hand dropped your tit, coming up to brush your hair out the way, gathering it in a tight but gentle grip as he tugged your head back onto his shoulder, dragging his tongue across your newly exposed throat, up the underside of your jaw till he reached your lips, capturing them in his.
Norman’s cock twitched against you when your hand joined the one still fingering your clit, scratching his skin with your nails gingerly as he slowly kissed you, deep and lustful. You blindly reached your hand behind yourself and felt around for his dick, a small grunt coming from him when your fingers grazed his tip. “Ya’ ready fer me?” He murmured against your lips.
“Been ready since I got here” You sass, dropping down onto your elbows with round hips in the air. “You better fuck me like you mean it”
A hand landed on your ass, Norman’s other still holding up your hair, grip a little tighter now as he burned the image of your arch into his head, the hand he spanked you with spreading your cheek, thumbing your pussy as he pressed his tip to your entrance, greedily sucking him in.
He was big, but you were so wet and dripping to the point he just completely slid in, unrestrained groan coming out his chest as his entire cock was swallowed up and wrapped in your squishy walls, almost immediately starting to find a rhythm with his hips.
Norman’s fingers curled into the fat flesh of your ass, “Takin’ all of m’so goddamn well baby girl, could fuck this pussy for fuckin’ days” spreading you apart so he could watch the way his cock was sliding into you and blissfully stretching you open.
“Pound me already, I thought you were gonna be a meanie tonight” You drawl as you roll your head from side to side, pushing back needily against him.
He gripped your hair at the roots suddenly, yanking it roughly to pull you up onto your arms, almost pulling himself all the way out before slamming right into a sensitive bundle of nerves, mewl of pleasure racking your body as he started to relentlessly and mercilessly thrust into your body, so deep that you thought he was actually in your stomach for a moment.
You gasped and sputtered as he pulled you back by your hair in time with his harsh hips, huffing as he started to fuck you with all his strength. Each slam of his hips sent his cock flying into your cervix, each one leaving you more breathless than the last. “Got real quiet all of a sudden girl. This wha’ ya’ want?”
Norman’s fingers were fisted in your hair, the sound of skin slapping against skin reverberated in the large room, bed quietly squeaking as he railed you, watching how each forward thrust of his hips made your ass bounce, a wet sound coming from where his balls slapped against your clit.
“Yes, Oh fuck yes,” You mewl, eyes rolling back as your toes curled. “Harder, I know you can fuck me so much harder” Norman groans at your words, yanking you back onto your knees flush against his front and wrapping a hand around your throat, dropping his grip in curly hair to tightly grip your hip, jamming the entirety of his cock into your body, poking spots you didn’t even know were there.
He quickly resumed his unforgiving pace, pounding into you so deep and so rough, you choked out small sobs with each hit of his tip, gasping as you started to lose air. It was everything Tyler told you it would be and more, dots starting to cloud your vision and prickle under your skin, clenching as you could feel each thrust send you further and further to the edge.
You can tell Norman can feel it too, resting his sweaty forehead against your shoulder as he starts to lose rhythm slightly, pace not faltering as his cock twitches inside you, so tight and hot, your cunt squeezing his full dick like never before. It made Norman’s head fuzzy and a little dizzy, fueling the buzz he had from the earlier alcohol, though he only had about maybe three drinks total tonight. He was purely drunk off your body, letting out a soft whimper as he throbbed, on the verge of his orgasm.
“Feels so good, don’ wanna pull out of ya’…” Norman mumbled as he rocked himself into you, grunting when his tip nudged against your cervix. “Might just hafta’ stuff ya’ beautiful”
You rolled your head back onto his shoulder, his grip around your throat loosening as you cheekily smiled. “Yes please, let’s make a mess” Norman mirrored your expression before reaching down and capturing your lips in a deep kiss, swirling his tongue around yours.
He pulled his hips back, leaving only the tip in before sliding all the way back inside, hungrily groaning into your mouth as he repeated the action, downright stroking his cock using your cunt. "Jus' gonna let me to fill this pretty pussy? Pump you full of all my cum?" Norman groaned, increasing his pace as his hot mouth landed on your neck, his teeth and beard scraping the skin as he continued his deep strokes, still pounding blissfully into you.
"God yes, give it all to me" You moan, rough fingers coming back up to your hair. Norman forcefully pinned your upper half down into the fluffy sheets, his other hand firmly gripping your ass as he fucked into you like an animal, shoving his whole dick into your cunt from tip to base. You let out a high keen with every unforgiving thrust, each one sending you a little closer to the edge.
Norman huskily panted, whimpering a little as he sped up, this time pulling you back onto his cock to meet his hips as he started to really fuck you, now railing into you with all his strength. Uncontrolled whines came from you, eyes rolling as his hand tightly gripped your scalp, each loud slap of his pelvis against your backside sent you lurching forward, only to be yanked back by the fistful of curly hair.
Your walls were practically milking his cock, so warm and wet around him, greedily sucking him in with every thrust, squeezing the entirety of his length as he increased his pace even more, letting out unrestrained gasps and grunts as his hips begin to stutter in their rhythm. “Fuck m’gonna fuckin’ cum” Norman chokes out, bottom lip caught between his teeth as he groaned with each hot drag of your cunt, cock twitching and throbbing inside you as he fucked himself closer and closer over the edge. “Jus’ keep fuckin’ takin’ me doll, takin’ me so damn well”
His words made you tighten up around him, and it was all he need to fly off the handle, tossing his head back as his hips sputtered, cock slipping out of your stretched hole with an audible pop, Norman softly groaning as he came all over your twitching pussy, suddenly pushing himself inside and letting out a loud, shaky whimper, fingers curling in your hair as he started to fuck into you again, followed by the filthy squleching of Norman’s cock sliding into your ruined cunt, his cum becoming a creamy mess were it was being pushed in and out, dribbling down your folds to your clit where his balls slapped lewdly against.
“So fucking good for me, ya’ve got such a perfect pussy ‘could fuck you all day” Norman purred, dipping his head down to latch onto the skin of your already marked shoulder, sinking his teeth into the flesh and shuddering when he seemed to slip impossibly deeper into you. His hand fell from your hair, both palms falling firmly on either side of your head. "Feels like a goddamn dream" He snapped forward, breathing hot in your ear and gently nibbling on it. One of your hands wrapped around his wrist, helpless gasps falling from you with each drag of his cock, feeling the throbbing veins which each thrust.
Your nails curled into his skin, eyes fluttering shut as your second orgasm built rapidly in your gut, whines of pleasure spilling past your lips. You couldn't even speak, each hard snap of his hips knocking the words straight out your chest. Norman roughly groaned in your ear, hotly kissing and licking at your bare shoulder. You were both so close, it only fueled his animalistic pace as he sped up.
Norman fisted the comforter in his hands, the skin tingling and raw from where you dug into it, little half-crescents decorating the back of his hand, and puffy lines sprouting blood on his arm, sweet sobs coming from you with every jab of his cock. Norman buried his sweaty face into the crook of your neck, sucking and biting the skin, his beard scratchy as he trailed his lips up to your pounding pulse. A breathy, shaky whimper came from him as he stuttered in his movements, pressing himself deep as he spilled into you for the second time, capturing your kiss in a greedy and heated kiss, moaning into each other's mouth as he drew out your shared orgasm.
When he pulled out with a slick pop, softly humming as the cold air hit his cock, you were both thoroughly fucked and completely worn out, panting heavily with Norman still halfway on top of you.
“Are ya' impressed yet?” He huffed out, a smirk forming on his face as he tugged your head back.
With a deep exhale and a small smile playing on your lips, you looked over at him with heavy, satisfied eyes. "I guess I am"
。・:*:・゚☆ 。・:*:・゚
Okay, I absolutely LOVED writing this request. It practically consumed my life lol. I would definitely be open to more reqs like this where there’s a little bit of a plot, even though I already have so many that are unanswered 🥲🥲🥲
I was really nervous about posting this because I’m just not a fan of the ending but at this point all I can do is hope for the best
THAT BEING SAID If people are also interested in sending in more Norman requests… 🥶🧏🏾♀️ y’know where to hmu babe
ALSO SHOUTOUT TO MY FAV POOKIE TYLER WHO DIDNT EVEN KNOW I WAS USING HER AS A WAITRESS I LOOVE YOOU BABYGIRL MY OLDER SISSY FR 😝
。・:*:・゚★。・:*:・゚☆ 。・:*:・゚★
#norman fucking reedus#norman reedus#the walking dead#the walking dead fanfiction#the walking dead daryl#daryl dixon fanfic#daryl dixon fanfiction#daryl fanfiction#daryl dixon#daryl x female reader#daryl x black reader#black reader#daryl x reader#twd daryl#daryl dixion imagine#daryl dixion smut#twd daryl dixon#daryl twd#daryl x y/n#daryl dixon smut#twd#daryl imagines#daryl x you
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I’m weirdly torn about Lite’s character arc.
On one hand, feminine rage (yes please), she’s the only one who understands Hell can BE A THREAT (sure, Charlie and Pentious are nice and all, but there are other people in Hell who are probably not well intentioned), she’s rightfully pissed that her role as second in command was overlooked for some (admittedly sweet) guy who doesn’t even wanna be here, and she’s rightfully upset that her sisters and best friend/man she loved were murdered in a job that she was authorized to do by the supposed good guys. She shouldn’t be seen as the bad guy for being convinced by others that what she was doing was right, and is upset when she’s told all her work, her allies, and Adam being killed meant nothing.
On the other hand, she’s being depicted as the bad guy. I’m not saying she needs to be sympathetic, 100% likable, uwu babey. But her pain and issues are being brushed aside to make her appear like the stereotypical “crazy bitch” who will probably be the villain of the season, or at least A villain. Not the antagonist, the VILLAIN. Her grief and valid opposition is more than likely going to be villainized, when in reality, she may be cold and sadistic, but I don’t this Lute is ultimately a bad person. She spent her existence fighting for what she was told is right by a holy figure. Not some cultist or priest who says God talks to them, but THE ACTUAL HIGH SERAPH. She was convinced angels don’t make mistakes, to the point she never questioned that in all her cruelty, if she was right or wrong. She believed she was right. If this were on Earth, on could compare this to crusaders or people who force conversions or kill anyone who doesn’t agree with their beliefs. But I don’t think that can really apply, because Lite isn’t human, she lives in HEAVAN. Religious asshole humans aren’t comparable to ANGELS who are familiar with THE SPEAKER FOR GOD HIMSELF. So her genuine belief she is doing good is understandable, but will probably be what makes her villainized. Or maybe it will be the fact she’s in mourning? Who knows! Viv will never skimp on presenting a woman as a villain for the flimsiest of reasons.
And on the other other hand. Yes, it suck a huge part of her motivation is her connection to a MAN (the first man, no less) who is a douchebag. But idk if that’s that big of an issue. For all her being sad her boss/love interest/a dude died, there’s also her being angry that her position as leader was passed over for some guy as well. I’m not saying it evens out, but maybe it does? Not to mention that even though Adam was a dick, he was more than just a man/asshole/boss/probably misogynist, he was also her friend, someone she looked up to as a leader, and still was comfortable enough to hang out with when not on the job. He called he names, but that might’ve been out of familiarity rather than genuine malice or sexism. Then again, Viv never really let us learn Jack shit about Adam as a person, other than CHARLIE GOOD, ADAM BAD. So while it is kind of iffy from one perspective for Lute’s arc to be connected to Adam, I don’t think it’s an issue of gender, and more of the fact that she meant something to him.
Sorry for the long ask, but what’re your thoughts?
I agree with pretty much all of this. I think she is an extremely compelling character and I think her deeper character reasons for being a real villain are solid. I even think the song itself is genuinely good at showing that Lite isn't only raging about some guy. The actual meat of her character is really well balanced on paper, and the song does a decent job of depicting that ...
Until it gets to Adam.
The issue is the poor pacing of the writers and how we never got to see Lute and Adam as much. Lute is extremely formal in most of the scenes in the early part of Hazbin. Calling Adam "sir" doesn't give the impression of "best friends", so she does come off as oddly obsessed, especially with the rushed "crazy bitch" routine as you pointed out. We don't actually have a strong foundation for their relationship. Additionally, the revival of Adam as a figment of Lute's imagination as she falls into some form of psychosis is just rather silly. I understand it's to give Lute someone to talk to, but it makes Adam as a love interest is the most important characterization.
I do completely agree with your points on Lute's character. She has excellent motivation, and a clear arc that I also think is worth the effort. It just suffers from weak world building and lazy shortcuts.
#hazbin hotel criticism#hazbin critical#hazbin hotel critical#hazbin hotel critique#hazbin hotel leaks#hazbin hotel spoilers
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Thinking about a time travel Pirate-King-Luffy-Raises-ASL fic but specifically like.
He knows the things he wants to fix in Ace and Sabo's lives. He knows he's going to shower them both in love and affection, reassure them constantly that they are safe, that they are wanted. He knows he never wants Ace to grow into that sad, angry, lonely little boy who believed his existence was a curse; never wants Sabo to be taken from them only to return weighed down with mountains of guilt and need to atone for something that was never his fault. He knows he's gonna do everything in his power to give his brothers -- his sons, now -- the carefree childhoods they deserve, and when they grow into young men and set off to chase whatever dreams they dream in this life, they'll do it with his full support and the knowledge that they can call on him if they ever need him, and he'll always come running.
Then he finds himself looking down at this timelines version of Monkey D. Luffy, a tiny little baby who blinks at the world with big, startled eyes and grins a gummy smile at everyone he sees.
And Luffy realizes, with a kind of slow-dawning horror, that uh... actually, his childhood sucked too.
I don't really have a ton of plot for this but just the surrealism of holding himself as a baby and coming to the awful epiphany that he... deserved better? That his childhood was Not Good? That it wasn't just his brothers who were failed by the world in general -- but that he, Monkey D. Luffy, should not have been dumped in the care of a girl barely old enough to raise herself, much less a child. He should not have grown up with an empty, howling loneliness in him that drove him to do absolutely insane shit like try to stab his own eye out to prove himself worthy of joining a pirate crew, because he was so, so desperate to convince Shanks not to be yet another person who turned around and left Luffy all alone. He shouldn't have been tossed on his ass in a bandit's hut and told to fend for himself. It wasn't Dadan's fault, or Shank's, or Makino's. It maybe wasn't even Gramps's. But it still shouldn't have happened. Luffy deserved better.
This Luffy will get better, he'll grow up loved and kept right from the start, but... wow. Luffy had a bad childhood. Crazy. And he just lived like that? A whole lifetime? He never dealt with it? Crazy. He's gonna go sit down with his sons and try not to think about it.
#one piece#monkey d. luffy#asl brothers#asl trio#portgas d ace#sabo the revolutionary#time travel au
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So much of mental health advice feels like grasping into the dark: when I did CBT I did all these various exercises and in hindsight so much of it feels like the placebo effect, and I can see why people get sucked into cults. Not saying therapy is a cult at all, but when I think about how one of the exercises was to imagine a manifestation of my bad thoughts and then physically close the door on it - what was that supposed to achieve, exactly? The buzz of motivation you get from these therapies can seem like progress, but a lot of the real value - the honesty about yourself and what you value - is entirely lost through gimmicks.
And it's really sad because in my experience, actual acceptance can be incredibly quick, so much so that it feels like a cheat code, a 'life hack' if you will. But acceptance is what 'mentally healthy' people do all the time - that's why two people can go to the exact same job and one can be chill whilst the other is depressed. As a depressed person who never understood the former type, I was always curious at exactly how those people lived - I assumed they must be vapid, that they couldn't be as deep with me, that any problems they had in their life were much more trivial than mine. I was fascinated by people who, when going through experiences I considered life-ruining, would shrug and say 'it is what it is'. I assumed once again that they must just not be as deep as I am, or feel as strongly. The deeper assumption was always that there's something fundamentally different to my make-up that separates me from the 'normies'. The narcissism of this is not lost on me; I used to flip-flop back and forth between 'I'm right' and 'they're right'. I now understand this to be value system that my depression was built around, and I don't have that maddening argument in my head anymore.
The depression was always both the cause and solution: there always had to be a justification for my sadness that was more than simply 'I don't like this' - that way I could cling to it; I could defensively make it a part of me, whilst secretly embarrassed that other people would be able to handle a similar situation better than me. The key to acceptance is to face that embarrassment head-on and say, actually the reason this thing bothers me so much is because I value it not happening more than I value my happiness and comfort. The point of acceptance is where I realise that my happiness is something I can choose internally regardless of my external circumstances; that that's what everyone else has been doing this whole time and therefore I am not a freak nor am I the messiah. I can be just like everyone else and it's not embarrassing to be a mundane, alive human being. But also, I have to overcome the embarrassment of being miserable under a sunk-cost fallacy - so for that, I have to, once again, understand why I valued the narrative justification so much, and so I can accept that too, all as valued, loved, and cherished parts of myself. It's all about understanding and acceptance at every stage, at every layer of the psyche.
And from that acceptance I can recognise that my depression was a noble goal in some ways; a core facet of my belief used to be that I'm just one person, and everything else is everything else, so my value system should logically be skewed outwards. But I now understand that martyring myself for the 'greater good' is a thankless task and also, whilst everything else is bigger than me, I'm the one who experiences that everything, so my value system should be focussed on me. Feeling good feels good, and that's enough.
I understand that the process of true acceptance is a really tough thing to do, and it's cosmically upsetting how unfair it is that people who never have a mental illness (or have one that is so accepted by society that they never have to consider it one) don't ever have to do this manual process of self-reflection - but at the same time, my honesty about myself has become something I now value greatly as it allows me to make meaningful choices to demonstrate self-love and rebuild trust in myself after a decade of believing that 'because I want to be happy' isn't justification enough. And since I discovered this whole process, so much of mental health advice just seems to me like the equivalent of putting a jelly bean on a paragraph in a book to incentivise you to read to that point: you're a fully grown adult and you're not stupid, so eventually some part of you is going to go 'but I can eat the damn jellybean at any time!'
From having learned just how much the brain is paying attention to everything I do, it's hard to justify doing these typical therapy exercises knowing that the value system they espouse is entirely the opposite to my own: they're fundamentally dishonest and kick the mental health can down the road, treating your psyche as an inconvenience and an obstacle to achievement (which is implicitly believed to be 'real'). Slamming the door on my negative thoughts:
Creates a symbolic narrative that through this I can be 'cured'
Posits that my negative thoughts, despite being a product of my literal brain, have nothing to do with how my brain works
Posits that those thoughts can be severed from me (with one dramatic gesture)
Looking back, this such a patronising way to approach my own personhood; this qualified mental health practitioner was agreeing with the mental illness that brought me to him in the first place that I am fragmented and that parts of me are 'wrong'. Acceptance says that no, no part of me is 'wrong' because that's an entirely false concept: there are only actions and consequences, and I decide if I value those consequences. The only 'reason' I 'shouldn't' have those negative thoughts is because they hurt me - but also, as they are a part of me, they can be addressed and they can be reasoned with. Accepting their point of view as my own has done so, so much more for my mental health than treating that point of view as a terrifying aberration on my psyche to be forcefully removed.
Society is always surprised at how people who commit atrocities rarely have a mental disorder; but that's that implicit belief about 'mental health' in action. There's a societal need for mental health to be some reflection of logical and moral 'correctness'; after all, there is existential terror in the realisation of of psyches as floating entities, universes isolated from material reality. I, too, feel this terror, but as someone who used to feel a great need to be under the scrutiny of The All-Knowing Watcher who could justify all my behaviours, thoughts and feelings under some objective standard, there has been a paradoxical freedom in recognising that I alone am responsible for constructing my morality and value system. Those 'mentally healthy' people who commit atrocities simply have a value system that does not care about the harm they have done; and, as a result, they have accepted themselves (in a way I couldn't even accept about that Portal 'Companion Cube' plush I bought for £30 over a decade ago and immediately regretted yet still can't throw away). This can be hard to swallow for people who need to believe that we all live under the same objective standard and that mental illness is merely an aberration. The idea that I'm more mentally ill than a murderer feels wrong; from this alone it's clear that the whole idea of what mental illness/health even is is still in its infancy - and mental health treatments - which have undergone much revision, making it possible that nobody does that CBT exercise anymore - are reflecting that dearth of understanding.
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The Most Annoying Things About Living on Roshar
Notice that I said annoying. I’m not talking about real problems like, uh, slavery and war crimes and a broken social system and etc etc. I’m talking about things that I think would just kinda be annoying about living in Stormlight Archive.
1. You can’t tell little white lies about how you’re feeling.
Thanks to those pesky emotion spren always showing how you’re REALLY feeling! As illustrated here: https://www.tumblr.com/taravangians-storming-balls/716486386153291776/me-if-i-lived-on-roshar
2. If you’re Alethi or Alethi-influenced, you have to be religious to get food variety.
Are you a woman? Sweet food only! Are you a man? Spicy/savory food only! Want the food of a gender not your own? Looks like you need to join the church!
Like...what?
3. Nothing is fluffy.
Outside of Shinovar, everything on Roshar is a crab. Crab-dogs, crab-cows, crab-bugs, crab-crabs, you get it. Which is great if you’re an animal who wants to be protected from the constantly dangerous weather, but bad if you’re a human who, like me, wants to pet things that are fluffy. I just feel like petting an axehound isn’t quite the same.
4. If you’re an Alethi woman with naturally hot hands, life sucks.
Now, I wouldn’t understand this myself, since I have icy hands forever, but some women have hands that naturally run hot. And yet those same women must, if they’re Alethi or Alethi-influenced, keep one hand covered at all times. That must be torture for Lady Hot Hands.
5. If you’re an Alethi man, you can’t kick back with a nice book.
At least prior to Dalinar, Alethi men could never just, like, chill out with a lovely book...at least, not without joining the church. And just because many men didn’t realize their loss does not make it any less sad.
6. “We’ve gotta get you a spren.”
Adolin is like the last main character to not have a spren. And I remember when someone said something like “We gotta get you a spren!” to Adolin in the same “jovial” tones as people keep saying, “You need a girlfriend!” to Kaladin. And that’s a lot of pressure. I think it would be annoying, especially to people who just don’t want to join the Radiants thank you very much.
7. You can’t share funny undertext with your guy friends.
If I were reading a book aloud to one of my guy friends and there was a funny undertext, I would be legitimately bummed that I was forbidden to share it with him due to a seemingly worldwide ladies agreement to hide the existence of the undertext from men. But, like, what if it was really funny?
8. The anxiety of constantly leaking Stormlight.
Gems constantly leak Stormlight, and they can only be renewed during storms. People are fairly casual about this in the books, but man, that would make me SO anxious, especially during the Weeping when apparently it’s just expected that all gems will just sort of run out. Like, in my actual life, if there’s a power outage, I’m there huddled like a little ferret nervously checking my phone battery every few seconds, watching the battery percentage tick slowly down and fretting about how I can’t recharge it until the power comes back on but who KNOWS when that will be.
...Okay, so maybe this one is just me.
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THERE WAS AN UPDATE YOU KNOW THE DRILL SLEEPING BE DAMMED
theres so much going on jokes that i will deffinetly take advantage of theories of the meaning of things the goddamn art everything
first of all apparently Malo Mart turned to a mega corporation???? well sorry twi no 60% of discount for you that sucks
thats rough buddy
i cant take it seriously poor Four, look at that face
thats the face of someone who will be grounded for some time after all this madness and is totally not happy about this
Sky was waiting letters from Sun, maybe she couldn't write something for him? either way poor guy look at his sad face :( the heart makes it better
baby? baby??? smol???? smol hylian???? tiny cute litol hylian????child????
ahhh Time dont just say yes and left it like that! i need to know!!!
Twilight my man at this point you will be grounded dont test the old man's patience
Time knows the dangers of excesive courage, yes it can keep you going and maybe make you win the battle, but can also kill you if youre not careful. This is what almost happened with Twilight, this almost might have happened to Time too
He's scared that for this reckless courage he might loose his descendant, the one who brought hope to him and his wife to form a family and live happy
(also he saying this makes me think more about the posibility of Malon being pregnant, too much mistery please old man just tell me i will not say anithing ur secret is safe plweas)
HERO'S SHADE HERO'S SHADE
not much to say here, it might be a wrong translation that im doing but hey! it reminds me that Twi already knows that Time is the Hero's shade but like. with flesh and eyes. alive.
OKAY HERE I HAVE THINGS TO SAY
When Wild asks Twilight's face changes inmediately, he doesn't want to look down, he still feels the need to be strong in front of the younger heroes, worrying them is the last of his desires
Four is not stupid, he notices the actual mood of Twi and ask again, but with different words. It looks like it really made Twi reconsider things
doesn't exactly talks what was having him a little down moments ago, but at least it seems to calm them, again, they shouldn't be worried after what happened
Twi for hylia who were you thinking he was talking about????
no really i have that question who was he thinking that was asking for him?????
"who kicked the fuck out of that bad lizard??? who did that???? yes you did!! you did it amazing!!! im so proud my beautiful exterminator of dumb lizards!!!"
HE JUST
FUCKING ROLLS
YEAHHH WIND FLIP
Hyrule 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰💛💛💛💛💛✨✨✨✨✨✨✨
hes so badass jumping off heck yeah stairs are dumb
also Wind thats a cool move you too legend jumping and rolling are so cool love you guys
Wars dont ruin the fun nono guys keep doing it i'll even give you chips if you do that
oh they really think that Wars is broke and has no money alright
im glad that this bit kept going i love the boys teasing each other (Lege and Wars specially)
hey listen
listen
i dont want to ruin it
but
it would be funny
just
just listen
would be very funny that
it just
breaks
hey it would be funny cmon
andddd theyre off!
Hyrule learns from watching, from the actions and movements that he sees in the enemy, and uses it to make a plan to attack, learn patterns and be ready for anything
yep hes gonna play an important role in the next arc i have a feeling
now buildings art aprecciation cuz holy shit theyre so pretty
gorgeous
fantastic work i feel blessed
(all art credits obv goes to @linkeduniverse ! )
#linked universe#linkeduniverse#lu update#linked universe update#lu chain#lu spoilers#lu update spoilers#linked universe spoilers#i talk#uhhhh its almost 1 am#idc it was worthy
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we tried the world, good god, it wasn't for us! (part 3)
pairing: autistic!satoru x suguru x autistic!reader
word count: ........14k? oops?
summary: a glimpse at your first year in tokyo jujutsu high
tags: autistic!reader, autistic!satoru, bisexual!reader, bisexual!suguru, ableism, internalized ableism, mentioned child abuse, light bullying, satoru has some identity issues, actually EVERYONE has identity issues here, jealous and protective boys, JJK typical violence
beautiful people who asked to be tagged 💕: @ichikanu, @iceheartsice, @anders-is-being-a-simp-again
author note: um.....so....this was meant to be all three of the high school years in one chapter........but i lost control of the plot. and here we are...FOURTEEN THOUSAND WORDS LATER...and THIS WAS ONLY THE FIRST YEAR of them in high school? help me.
translation note: jiheishō is the japanese term for autism
chapter links: ONE, TWO, AO3
[YEAR ONE.]
Graduation comes.
Finally.
In the months since you and Suguru were offered scholarships with Jujutsu High, word slowly spread around the school. Suguru and you have to sit on the roof for lunches to escape your growing popularity. You have no idea why these people have started to crawl out of the woodworks, but Suguru said he kind of expected it. It’s not only you two that want out of the village and you two are going to live the life that everyone else dreams of. They think they can worm their way into your lives now and leech off any future success or have an in inside Tokyo.
Still, you can’t believe how many addresses and phone numbers you’re given. There are a few that you keep, people from the art club that you joined who have always been cordial enough to you. You felt a little obligated because they pitched in to buy you a relatively nice art supply kit to continue your craft in Tokyo. The rest of the contact information is tossed in the trash, some right in front of their faces out of spite.
Meanwhile, Suguru is almost suspended.
No one can prove that Nakayama Izuru was attacked by Suguru, though. It’s not possible for a human to leave the claw marks on Nakayama’s arms. You can only imagine that saccharine smile that Suguru was wearing when he told the school staff that he saw a tanuki attack Nakayama. The only crime he committed was not getting help sooner and, for that, he apologized. Nakayama himself even admitted that he didn’t see anything or that Suguru didn’t put hands on him, but he knows Suguru was responsible somehow.
You, obviously, know better.
“Idiot,” you hiss when you and Suguru are at your usual afterschool hangout spot by the river. “That wasn’t very heroic of you. It could’ve costed you your scholarship if word got back to Tokyo.”
Suguru rolls his eyes. “It wasn’t even that bad. A cat could’ve done more damage than I did.”
You sigh. “I know we’ve always teased people with your collection, but we’ve never drawn blood. You don’t like him, never have, but I didn’t think it was that bad.” You throw a rock, trying to get it to skip across the water, but it just gives a sad plop and sinks. “What happened?”
“Remember when you and Endo got in that fight a few months ago?” You nod slowly. “It was something like that.” He’s not looking at you, but his rage still lingers. He’s usually good at skipping rocks, but not today. “Which means you can’t judge me because if you knew how to fight, you definitely would’ve. Don’t even try to pretend you wouldn’t.”
“Yeah, but I suck at keeping my mouth shut and can’t control my emotions for shit. I know I’m gonna struggle when we start high school because of that.” This isn’t a scolding. You’re just really worried because, “You’re good at letting that stuff roll off you.”
Suguru’s frown deepens. “Not about you.” If it wasn’t so quiet here, you’d have missed him whisper, “Never about you.”
“People have made fun of me before.”
“It’s different.” He presses a thumb against his forehead. “Can we drop this?”
“Well, I kinda want to know what he said. I told you what Endo said, didn’t I?”
“I’d rather not.”
“Suguru,” you sing. “I’ll keep asking. Don’t I have a right to know?”
“I was trying to be polite.” His eye is twitching irritably. “He said that he never noticed until now how nice your tits are. The nicest in our class.” You burst out in a fit of laughter. A vein throbs at his temple. Maybe this is why he didn’t want to say anything. “It’s not funny, Squid. It was disgusting. He tried to act buddy-buddy with me while I was waiting for you to get done with art club. He wanted to know if you were still a virgin or not.”
You shake your head, wiping a stray tear from your eye. “Nakayama thinks because his father owns the biggest farm that he’s worth something. Not even Endo would date him and she’s the most popular girl in school.” You crouch down to rummage for some skipping stones. “Hey, if we’re still virgins by the end of high school, want to take each other’s virginities?”
It’s like all the fight rushes out of him, the way Suguru sighs and how his shoulders slump in defeat. “You shouldn’t say things like that.” His neck, the tips of his ears, his entire face…it’s all so red. It’s rare to find, but there are some things that go too far. You open your mouth to apologize, but he interrupts. “You promise?”
“I promise.” You give one of the stones you find a few tosses, making sure it’s light enough. “I kind of always thought it would be you, anyway. Now that we’re leaving the village, you’ll get super popular at this new school, so I doubt you’ll be single by the time we graduate, but this is on the off chance that you are.” He tilts his head back, staring up at the skies. That’s his existential crisis face. “I’m sorry. Was that too far?”
“I always thought it would be you, too,” he admits quietly. “I guess…you’re making it sound so transactional.”
Right. Girls say that the first time is supposed to be special. “I can try to make it special for you, if it happens. I don’t really understand what special means, but I’ll try.”
Suguru shakes himself out of his thoughts. “I’ll make it special, don’t worry.”
“Don’t think about it too much. You’ll definitely get a boyfriend or girlfriend.”
“It could be the other way around, y’know.”
You scoff. “Where we’re going…seeing the spirits is normal. So, everyone there will be normal. That’s when my weirdness is really going to shine. You’re used to it. Do you think someone is willingly going to deal with my stupid habits and quirks? How do I even explain to another person that even seeing cotton balls makes my teeth hurt?” You shake your head. “I’m already high enough maintenance for you and you’re my best friend. It’d be worse for a boyfriend or girlfriend, wouldn’t it?”
Suguru says your name. You look over at him and he’s sad. “You’re not high maintenance.”
“You’re my best friend. You’re obligated to say that.”
“No, I’m not. You know I’m honest with you. Would you like an example of my honesty? Here’s one—you’re so blind that, sometimes, it amazes me.”
You throw a rock at the vicinity of his feet. He moves to dodge it. “Rude.”
***
Non-sorcerer students are required to move on campus two weeks before school starts. There will be some informal classes on the most basic of jujutsu basics to give you somewhat a foundation. In yours and Suguru’s cases, Yaga lies to both your parents and has someone come pick you and your things up three weeks before school starts.
At the nearest relatively big city, Yaga makes the driver stop. He practically shoves food down your throats, lecturing the entire time about the importance of eating to make up for the massive amounts of energy that you’ll be burning by using cursed energy and fighting spirits.
Then, he forces you both to choose cell phones.
You and Suguru, obviously from very humble means, protest. None of them are cheap. Yaga shuts you down and declares this as yet another requirement. Essentially, you’ll always be on-call, especially as you become a more seasoned sorcerer. You need a way to communicate with others and be communicated with in return. Yaga mutters something under his breath before he heads outside to take a smoke break with the driver.
“He’ll probably yell at us if we go for the cheapest thing,” Suguru mutters as he looks around the store.
“Something in the middle, then,” you agree.
In your defense, you do get something that’s not the most expensive. There wasn’t any mention about the design or color. It called to you, okay? You could take or leave the color, but the almost metallic shine of it. It’s so sleek and smooth. The number keys are nearly flat and it’s satisfying to run your fingers over the slight bump of them.
Yaga doesn’t even bat an eye when you hand over the hot pink flip phone. He simply takes what you’ve chosen, takes Suguru’s chunky option, and goes to the counter to pay for them and set up your new numbers. You and Suguru stand there, almost with bated breath.
It’s hard to believe that the school is investing so much money into you both already. Yaga didn’t even mention this coming out of your monthly stipend. A stipend, by the way, that you and Suguru weren’t aware of until you were on the road. You’d asked if you needed to tell your parents because that seemed like a pretty important thing for Yaga to forget. Yaga had shrugged and, casual as anything, said, “it’s your money now. Tell whoever you want about it.”
And, as easy as it was then for him, it is now because Yaga hands you your phones back, numbers on some paperwork, and that’s it. He walks out of the store and gets in the car. You and Suguru share a look of disbelief before you scramble to follow after him and climb in the back of the car.
It’s still a drive to a train station that will take you the rest of the way to Tokyo. The driver turns the music up. You and Suguru immediately duck your heads down, heads knocking together, voices hushed as you marvel over your new phones. You can’t stop rubbing your thumb over the smooth surface. Suguru isn’t the type to get distracted by something like texture, so he’s already clicking through it to add your phone number.
“Add me,” he demands. “What? Were you blinded by that gaudy color?”
“Like you have room to talk,” you shoot right back at him. “That’s got a MP3 built into it.”
“Are you the only one here that can be an enjoyer of the arts?”
“You could’ve kept using the radio.” You’re already a little sad. It’s a favorite pastime—you and Suguru, sprawled out on the floor, listening to the radio. Maybe you can save up for one. “Whatever. You better share the headphones whenever you figure out how to put music on that thing.”
“You better use your phone as a SOS if we’re ever lost.”
The only response to that is your harrumph and grabbing your backpack off the floor. Suguru goes back to his phone as you pull out your pencil and sketchbook. It’s a bumpy road. You already have a sketch of Hong, but maybe you’ll just do another rough one to fill the time. You flip through the pages upon pages of new and old cursed spirits that Suguru now holds, trying to find an open spot. There’s not much room left. Mother hates to buy you sketchbooks, seeing it as indulging your abnormality.
“You’re a talented artist,” Yaga commends. You pull the sketchbook against your chest instinctively. Yaga doesn’t acknowledge the action. Just asks, “Are those the cursed spirits that you’ve seen?” You lower the sketchbook back down in your lap, nodding shyly. “May I?”
You usually hide your sketchbook away from the eyes of others because classmates and adults were easily disturbed by what they thought were figments of your imagination. It’s going to take time to get over this surrealism that comes from everyone seeing the things you can and treating it as if it’s normal. So, you hesitantly hold out your sketchbook for him to take. You’re nervous as you watch him flip through the pages.
“These notes…you study them?” Yaga correctly assumes.
“Yes.”
“How?”
“Um…they can’t see me unless I want them to,” you explain slowly. “I can make them calm, too.”
“How have you been destroying them?”
“We don’t,” Suguru answers on your behalf. “I eat them.”
Yaga’s eyes widen. “You…eat them?”
“Maybe a better way to say it is that I absorb them,” Suguru corrects. “After that, I can summon them whenever I want.”
Yaga tries to hide it, but he seems…shaken. He glances back down at your sketchbook, quickly thumbing through the pages. “Is this all that you’ve taken down together? Is this how many you’ve swallowed, Geto?”
Suguru takes the sketchbook back from Yaga. Suguru is a lot more familiar with your sketches, but he skims through the pages once again. “I think this is about right,” he finally answers Yaga. “There might be more in my arsenal. Sometimes, we find spirits on our own or she doesn’t want to sketch whatever we find.”
“Right.” Yaga is nodding to himself. “We’ll explore your individual techniques more when the term starts.”
***
You’re allowed a few days to unpack and acquaint yourselves with campus before you’re taken to be fitted for your new school uniforms.
“Whatever I want?”
The tailor nods. “It’s important that you be comfortable and be in clothes that are easy for you to move in. It goes without saying that you’re a representation of the school, so you can’t be indecent, but that is your only condition,” she explains. “I’ll check-in with you after your first assignment to make sure your uniform doesn’t need any further adjustments. Also, the uniform expenses aren’t deducted from your stipend. This is on the school’s budget.”
The second that the tailor shows you the standard uniform, you turn your nose up at it. You rub the fabric between your fingers, examining it critically. The fabric, you think you could deal with, but if you can throw out the blazer then you’ll immediately jump on that chance. You’ve always preferred baggy clothes, so you shop a size or two too large. Your mother never complained because that meant your clothes lasted longer. So, you think about your wardrobe. Think about what your go-to clothes are when you’re not in a stiff school uniform.
After giving it some thought while your measurements are taken, you decide on a skirt, thin tights, and a hooded sweatshirt.
It’s an outfit that you can justify. The skirt will allow for freer movement. Tights, if they’re thin enough fabric, don’t really bother you because they’re like a second skin. The sweatshirt won’t have the same restrictive sleeves that the blazer does. Lastly, if you’re overwhelmed after assignments then you can hide under your hood.
The tailor accepts the design and tells you that she’ll call when the uniform is ready.
You’re thankful that Suguru is so tall because you’d have panicked otherwise if you stepped outside the tailor shop and couldn’t see him in front of a shop across the street. Your brows raise when you see that it’s a small tattoo shop. Outside the door, there’s a binder on a stand that must have their services and examples from their portfolio. Suguru isn’t looking at the tattoos. No, he seems to be carefully considering the section with ear piercings.
And, honestly, you’re not surprised.
“That school trip to Osorezan really left an impression on you, huh?”
It’d been the first year of middle school that your class went on a trip to Osorezan, believed to be the entrance to the afterlife. It was a religious, historical, and scientific field trip all wrapped into one since the Bodaiji temple is inside the caldera of an active volcano. The high amounts of sulfur gave the waters varying shades of blue. The land was gray and barren. But there was also a hot spring. Statues were littered around the area to represent the souls of the dead.
Just going off the limited knowledge that Yaga gave you, it makes sense that there were so many cursed spirits there. It’s a place of reverence, sure, but people probably go there out of desperation, too. On some level, it might be feared—whether because of the lore or the volcano near it.
It was an overnight trip. You and Suguru hadn’t slept a fucking wink. It was amazing. You’d adored it because of the nature and science. Suguru fell in love with the history and spirituality.
“Shut up.” The tips of his ears are red. “The tailor said there’s no dress code. Yaga said the only rule is to not bring too much attention to the school.” He rubs at his ear lobe. “It looks really cool, doesn’t it?”
“I think you’re being a stereotypical smalltown kid that’s going wild in the big city,” you deadpan.
“Well, I’m doing it. If it bothers you so much then stay out here,” he says primly.
You’ve started to flip through the pages of piercings. “No, no.” There’s one thing that caught your eye. You touch the picture of a tongue piercing. “Just think it’s a little funny that as soon as your feet stepped down in Tokyo, you went running.” Do your eyes glaze over when you think about running the little metal ball of a piercing across your teeth? Maybe. “I want this one.”
“Eh? I’m just getting gauges. You’re getting way wilder than me. You understand that, right?” Suguru is grinning as he grabs your wrist. “Let’s go.”
***
A week later, your tongue has healed enough that you finally learn to talk around it. Just as you suspected, the urge to roll it between your teeth is hard to pin down while you let it fully heal. It’ll be another three to five weeks. Yaga never said a word about it when you both showed up to a classroom the next day. All he did was throw some textbooks at you both and got to lecturing.
You guess you need to start thinking of him as sensei.
Suguru talks about you being a huge nerd, but he’s the one that’s in the school library, trying to dive deeper into…everything that you’ve learned, basically. Despite the fact that you’ll be spending the next three years gaining more knowledge about the jujutsu world. He’s always been like that—impatient when he’s eager. Well…maybe he picked that up from you.
Anyway, you left him behind to enjoy the weather and view. If you’re not with Suguru, you’re enjoying the view. The campus is nestled on a mountain outside Tokyo. It’s got the kind of scenery that inspires a person. This is the first time, probably ever, that you draw things that are not cursed spirits. That’s what you’re doing now. You have an urge to draw the contrast of the bright red torii gate against the lush, green foliage.
You almost lose your art supplies to gravity when someone rushes in front of you. Not that you’d say anything, but you can send them a shitty look. You’re a little more forgiving when you see their vision is blocked by a big box. Another person follows with another equally big box follows after that person. You blink and look in the direction of where they’re coming from.
A group has made their way to the top of the staircase that leads up to the school.
They are…very bright.
Almost everyone in the small group has blinding white hair and blue eyes. Not only that, but they are also dressed in traditional clothes that you know are expensive. The colors are vibrant. Just from here, you can tell just one of those kimonos probably costs more than your childhood house. Every woman in the group has a gold kanzashi in their hair with a dangling charm in the form of a…is that a dragonfly?
Off to the side of this group, though, is a boy your age. Same white hair and blue eyes, yes, but he’s dressed so casually that it’s almost obscene next to the rest of his people. Just a white shirt, pair of basketball shorts, and some sneakers. Thismust be one of your two classmates. Yaga said there would be another boy and girl enrolling. And…he must be moving on campus early. You wonder why. Clearly, those people are his family and they’re loaded. Why on earth would he want to leave home early?
The classmate stops and turns to stare at you dead-on. Don’t come over here, don’t come over here, don’t come over here, you silently plead. You weren’t prepared to deal with other people yet. It’s still a new place and new information is constantly getting thrown at you and you just don’t have the mental energy to deal with strangers.
Fate is not on your side, though, and your classmate closes the distance between you and him.
You’re wary when he’s right in front of you. If you weren’t desensitized by Suguru, this guy’s height would definitely intimidate you a lot more. You’re still nervous which could be because he’s really close to you physically. Your body tenses, instinctively preparing for unwanted touch.
“Show me around.”
“Huh?”
“Show me around,” he repeats.
Okay. You’re not sure what you expected. Normally, people give a little context when you question what they say. “I’m new, too. Our sensei is here, though. His name is Yaga.” You tilt your head slightly. “I can go grab him instead.”
“I asked you. You’re one of those shy types, right? Probably not good with talking to hot guys? I figure you won’t talk while we walk around the place.” He says all that…so casually. “I’ve had that hag back there in my ear all day. I got a headache. If you wanna keep talking, though, I’ll just go find someone else.”
“The only other person here will tell you to fuck off if you go around making demands like this,” you state bluntly. Actually, you wouldn’t be surprised if he ended up punching this guy in the nose. “Look, I come off as rude, too, but you should maybe think a little longer before you speak.” Oh, no. You sounded like Suguru just now.
The guy squints at you. “Who the hell are you? Where you from? Do you not know who I am?”
Oh. Yaga warned you and Suguru about this in a roundabout way. The jujutsu world is super traditional. There are these three clans that have been around for hundreds and hundreds of years, so they’re really respected. They’re competitive with each other and try to pump out more talented sorcerers. They tend to turn their nose up at people like you and Suguru who have no hint of sorcery in your family or ancestry.
You give him your name, the prefecture you came from, and then answer with a curt, “No, I don’t know who you are. Should I?”
He clicks his tongue and rolls his eyes. “So…you’re a hick. That’s what your deal is?” Hmm, well, he’s technically not wrong about that. “Whatever. I’m Gojo Satoru. You can ask the Yaga guy about how important I am later. Can we go now?”
You could not follow Gojo when he walks past you, but his…family or whatever is taking up the space that you were going to use for your art. Also, you can sympathize with needing an excuse to get away from a large group of people, especially when you’re overwhelmed. Not saying that Gojo is, but he did mention a headache.
So, you and Gojo take a stroll.
It’s quiet, aside from the sounds of nature and your footfalls. Out of the corner of your eye, you can see his head turn in your direction. What? Is he shocked that you respected his wish to be quiet? You don’t want to force a conversation.
After maybe half an hour of walking, you declare, “I think we’re far away enough that you don’t need me anymore.” You point at the bench in front of a pond that you purposely led yourselves to. “So, I’m going to do what I was going to do.” You give a polite half-hearted bow. “It was nice to meet you. I look forward to working with you in the future.”
Suguru texts as soon as you sit down, asking where you went off to. You’re terrible with directions, so you send him a shot of the pond and the building closest to it. You don’t mention Gojo. You’ll tell him about it later. Your fingers glide over the hard cover of the new sketchbook and the fresh, crisp, blank page that you turn to. You treat this sketchbook carefully because it’s the nicest you’ve ever seen.
Yaga said that it was very important to nurture your curiosity in understanding cursed spirits, so it was a more than worthy investment to get you sketchbooks. The more knowledge that you gain about the jujutsu world, the deeper your understanding of them goes, and that can be helpful to the jujutsu world. No one has ever had an ability like yours that he knows of, Yaga had told you privately. Knowledge of cursed spirits is only gained in the heat of battle or the aftermath of death. Your pacification abilities allow the study of cursed spirits without the bloodshed.
In that meeting, you’d tried to make Yaga see some sense. You’re some nobody from nowhere with a weird fixation on drawing the cursed spirits. He has all these big aspirations for you, but you highly doubt that you can live up to them. It wasn’t even about the sketchbook at that point. Suguru’s technique is the one that will change the world.
With you and Suguru, I think your techniques have skewed your worldviews. Suguru has shown me some of his higher-grade spirits. Exorcising those would be bloody work for anyone else. Your technique is more suited for a supportive role, yes, but don’t dismiss your power. It’s a trickle-down effect—you’ll save the lives of fellow sorcerers who will go on to exorcise spirits that saves the lives of current and future non-sorcerers.
You’d definitely cried after that conversation with Yaga. No one has ever wanted to…foster your interest like this. Setting aside how disturbed they were by the content that you drew, they saw no use in it. It was fine as a child, but in the past year or so, they had outright started to scold you for not putting the pencil down. You were the daughter of farmers and would never be famous for your art, so you needed to invest in better skills. Even your art teacher wanted to censor you and told you that any drawings needed to be school-appropriate.
More dedicated than ever, you’ve been almost obsessive with drawing.
“Oi.”
You’ve literally only drawn the rough shape of the pond. You try not to sigh or let your irritation at being interrupted show on your face when you tilt your head up. “Yes?”
“What if I did want a tour?”
It was obvious from the get-go that Gojo is a blunt person, so you don’t lie out of politeness. “I still get lost, so I’m the wrong person to ask. Like I said before, go ask Sensei.” You drop your attention to your lap and start sketching again. “Besides, I’m not good at talking to people.”
“It’s not like we have to chat. Just tell me the buildings.”
“Didn’t you say you have a headache?”
“Yeah, but I always have a headache.” That’s…alarming. You look back up at him, concerned. He shrugs and says, “Six Eyes,” as if you have any idea what that is supposed to mean. “Ugh. Right. Small town girl or whatever.” Then, he tries to dismiss it all with, “It’s a Gojo clan thing. I have special eyes that make my technique better, but the cost is migraines.”
Oh. It’s like Suguru’s technique, then. In the sense that there’s a massive blowback. Suguru has told you about the taste of curses and how disgusting doesn’t even come close to describing how awful it is. He tries to pretend that the taste is the only bad thing about it, but there’s a reason why he would wait until night to eat them where he could lay down immediately after. He’s even admitted that he would eat them to make his body forget about its hunger.
You’re sympathetic to the sensitivity. There are days when an overcast is still too bright. You bought a pair of sunglasses while you were out with Suguru, but…you can always get more. You have a whole monthly stipend now. Also, you got your uniform and you’re wearing it, so you can use the hood if the light is too much.
“Here.” You pull the sunglasses from where they’re perched on the top of your head. They’re a simple pair with thin silver frame and blue, circular lenses. Gojo looks between you and the sunglasses that you have held out. You hesitate. “What? Are they too girly or something?”
“Uh…no. I…” He looks genuinely perplexed. “You don’t know who I am. Why are you giving me these?”
“My senses are stupidly delicate, too. I know what having a bad day feels like. I don’t need these today, so you can have them. I can go buy new ones if I need them.�� Oh! You remember something important and inform him, “I’ve worn them inside and Yaga doesn’t care, so you’re good on that front.”
Gojo takes the sunglasses from you but doesn’t put them on yet. “Inside?”
Oops. “Sorry. I forgot that people are weird about sunglasses inside.” You tap your pencil against the sketchbook, trying to figure out how to say what you want to. “I don’t really understand what the issue there is. Sunglasses are designed to help when it’s too bright. Inside can be as bright as outside, so I’m just using them for their intended purpose. That’s how I see it.” Oops again. You started rambling. “I’ll take them back if you don’t want them. You didn’t seem like the type to care about the opinions of others, is all.”
“No, I want them.” He yanks them away when you try to take them back. “I—”
“Hey!”
Suguru’s normally soft voice raising like that makes you yelp and jump in your seat. You whip your head around to see him storming toward you, fists and jaw clenched. You’re alarmed to see him so visibly angry. You scramble to stand up and meet him in the middle. “Suguru?”
“Aren’t you too old to be picking on people?” Suguru asks with narrowed eyes. He’s looking over your head, at Gojo. “Give those back to her.”
Oh! Now, you understand. To someone else, it would look like Gojo stole your sunglasses and is trying to keep them away to be a bully.
“Suguru, no. It’s okay—”
“Heh!” Gojo’s cocky laugh makes you angle your body so you can look between them both. He smirks smugly and makes a show of putting on your sunglasses. “Who are you? Mommy?” Gojo shoves his hands in his pockets, feigning nonchalance. “I didn’t steal them, so calm down, mama bear.” Gojo points at Suguru while asking you, “This the guy that’s gonna tell me to fuck off if I don’t find some manners?”
“I’m certainty thinking about it right now,” Suguru sneers. His anger simmers back down and he goes back to his polite yet cool indifference. He ignores Gojo’s obvious baiting and moves his attention to you. “Is that true? Did you give those to him?” You nod. Suguru frowns. “You just bought those.”
“I was trying to be nice to our new classmate.” Suguru’s brow twitches in irritation—probably over the knowledge that this is one of your two classmates. Gojo has not made a good first impression, to say the least. “It’s no big deal. I can buy some new ones when we go to the konbini.”
“Eh? I want to go!” Gojo whines.
Suguru forces a polite smile. “You should stay here. I’m sure that Sensei will have some things to go over with you.”
“I don’t know how to get back. Sketch here was showing me around.”
“Sketch?” Suguru and you repeat, in unison.
“Yeah! Sketch!” Gojo motions towards your sketchbook that you left on the bench. “Because you’re an artsy girl.”
“You should know someone longer than an hour before you go giving them nicknames,” Suguru lectures.
Gojo cocks his head to the side, genuinely confused. “Should you?”
“Yes. Otherwise, it’s just being presumptuous.”
“Ask the lady, then.” Gojo hunches over, prowling toward you with a mischievous grin, getting very close to your face with his. “You don’t mind it, do you…” He lifts his head, purposely baiting Suguru when he adds, “…Sketch?”
Now, you may not be the best at social cues or reading the room, but even you know that whatever you say is going to be the wrong thing. Do you actually care about the nickname thing? No. Also, is Suguru forgetting that he literally gave you the Squid nickname only after a week? Sure, you were both six and he forgot your name, but the point stands.
“I think I’m in the middle of a dick measuring contest,” you muse aloud. Suguru sighs in exasperation while Gojo gives a delighted laugh. “I’m going to walk away now.”
“Yes. We should go,” Suguru agrees through gritted teeth.
As you and Suguru are walking away, after you’ve gathered all your things up, Gojo loudly asks, “Aren’t you gonna introduce yourself?”
Suguru understands, on some level, that it would be beneficial to get along with your peers since there’s only going to be four of you in the whole class. That’s why you’ve indulged Gojo’s…neediness? Entitlement? Whatever it is. And Suguru won’t be as nice as you—which is ironic because he’s usually the polite one—but he does turn around and introduce himself with a curt, “I’m Geto Suguru.”
“Gojo Satoru,” Gojo shoots back cockily. “Aren’t you going to tell me how much you look forward to working with me?”
“No.” Ah. Suguru’s patience has reached its end. “We’re leaving now.”
***
It’s not until about a week later, one week before the term starts, that you actually see Gojo on campus. This isn’t to say that you’re not painfully aware of what Gojo has been up to. Because what his purpose in life seems to be right now is to dig his way under Suguru’s skin. While in separate rooms, they still share communal spaces—kitchen, showers, laundry. Suguru tries to stay in his room, but they’re bound to run into each other, and when they do…
Well, you learn that there are alarms imbued in the protective barrier around campus that blare when a cursed spirit is detected within. Spirits from Suguru’s collection are no exception. That unexpected noise had you in a panic. Suguru and Gojo had an extremely long lecture and were forced to clean the already pristine classrooms as punishment.
You’re making your rounds on the track. Sensei recommended it since you’re not nearly as in shape as Suguru. He was trusted to work in the fields back home way more than you were. The most that you were trusted to do was wash picked crops. You weren’t even allowed to pick out the bad crops because you took too long. You’re a perfectionist and kept questioning if you should let a crop slip through or not.
Gojo plops down on the stone staircase that leads down to the track and field. You feel like you should ignore him out of loyalty to Suguru, but you can’t do that here. You have to try and get along with your classmates. You leave the lectures to Sensei and hope that Suguru’s temper will cool down with time. Also…Gojo is waving a second popsicle in the air to get your attention and it’s really tempting. Too tempting.
You wordlessly take the popsicle and examine the flavor. It’s red bean. You’re instantly wary. “Did you get the same?” Gojo flashes the reddish tinted popsicle in answer. He shoves it back in his mouth before you can get a good look. Fine. You’ll just ask outright. “Does it have pieces of red beans in it?”
Gojo scowls. You think you’ve offended him for asking too many questions about his gift, but it turns out that he’s actually upset about something else entirely. “No! Ew! What am I? A heathen?” His nose scrunches up in disgust. “Dude, that’s so gross. Who like chunks in their ice cream? The whole point is for it to be creamy and smooth!”
You almost sigh in relief. “I think sprinkles are okay, but…yeah. Everything else is too much.”
“Ugh, no. Sprinkles are too chalky. They leave this…eh…it’s like a film kind of feeling on my teeth. I hate it. I have to scoop it off any desserts which pisses me off more because I love whipped cream and I’m losing it to fucking sprinkles.”
You nod sagely. “A waste of good food.”
“Thank you! You get it!” Gojo sighs dramatically. “You’re so much cooler than your boyfriend, Sketch!”
“Because I agreed with you about dessert preferences? Also, Suguru isn’t my boyfriend. He’s my best friend. We’ve lived in the same village all our lives. There was no one else like us. People that could see cursed spirits, I mean.”
Gojo is still wearing the sunglasses that you gave him. You can’t tell that he’s looking you over until he allows them to slip down the bridge of his nose. “Really? He acts like a possessive boyfriend, though.”
You rub the back of your neck. “We’re protective of each other because of…other private stuff.” You know not to put Suguru’s relationship with his parents on blast. “Oh, and he says he’s not, but I think he’s protective because of my diagnosis.”
“Diagnosis?”
“Jiheishō,” you answer casually between licks of your popsicle. “I was always weird as a baby and a toddler. Then, I talked about seeing things, and that pushed my parents over the edge. They took me to a doctor, and I got diagnosed.”
“Huh. What’s that like?”
“I don’t know. It’s who I am. How do you explain being?” You pause. “I would say that you could ask Suguru since he’s on the outside looking in, but…you’re being an annoying dick to him.”
Gojo cackles. “But he makes it so easy!”
“I’m not one to assume because it’s hard to know what people think or I don’t understand them the right way, but…have you ever tried to make friends before? If I didn’t already know that you have to go to a school, I’d ask if you’ve even been around other people your age. This isn’t how you get along with your peers.”
He scoffs. “Why do I need to get along with my peers? Why do I need friends?”
“Because it’s lonely and miserable without them?”
“Ha! You ever stop to think that it’s lonely and miserable with them?” There’s a bitter twist to his mouth. He nudges the sunglasses back up the bridge of his nose, hiding his eyes away. “I mean, you said it, didn’t you? It’s such a chore to figure out how other people work and what they’re thinking. Normies are too…normal. Clan kids are only sucking up because my clan is the most powerful. It’s stupid and complicated. Why bother?”
Oh. That’s…sad…and also way too relatable. Your expression softens. “Those aren’t friends, though. You know that, right? I guess my opinion might not count because I only have one friend, but…he’s made my life better. I like to think that I’ve made his better, too.” He sticks his tongue out in disgust. You shrug. “It’s true. He’s been the only person that listens to me when I can’t shut up about art styles or cursed spirits because I’m really interested in those. I can be me around him.”
“You’re probably not as annoying as you think you are,” he dismisses. “Now, I’m annoying. I can’t shut up about Digimon.”
“You’re probably not as annoying as you think you are,” you repeat mockingly. He flips you off and you smirk in response. “Do you want to talk about it with me? I’ll listen. It sounds like you’ve been around shitty people that don’t want to hear about things that make you happy.”
Gojo is actually…hesitant. That makes you even sadder. You know this all too well. “I yap a lot. Seriously.”
You make yourself laugh past the hurt you feel out of sympathy for him. “I’ve got my sketchbook with me. I’ll show you what real yapping is.”
It’s the right thing for you to say. Putting a competitive spin on it makes it easier for Gojo to be open, it seems. “Oh, you are so on, Sketch.” He rises to his feet with a renewed excitement. “You should come help me finish unpacking! I have a lot of Digimon stuff, so it’ll be easier to explain everyone with that!”
“Eh? Are girls allowed—”
Gojo doesn’t hear you. He snatches you by the wrist and you stumble to keep up with him. You’re halfway to the boys’ dorm before he finally listens when you tell him that he left your sketchbook behind. You watch him sprint back toward the track, still trying to figure out how the hell you ended up here.
Suguru loves to read, but not manga. There was only one television in your house that your parents always had control of, so they never let you watch anime. Obviously, you know that Digimon is a manga and anime. It’s big like Pokémon. You know there are little creatures, but that’s about the extent of it.
Gojo changes that.
It’s a little confusing, sure, but you like hearing people talk about the things they like. Maybe it’s because you’re so used yourself to the rejection of being shut down because you’re boring people by talking about the same thing or overwhelming them with talking too much or liking weird things. You don’t want other people to feel like that. It was obvious from Gojo’s demeanor that it’s something he’s experienced, too.
As you look at all the figurines and manga and plushies, you wonder if his family threw money at this thing he likes and left him alone with it all. You don’t think he would be so cynical about other people if he had support from his family. Would you be okay if you parents paid for the most expensive art supplies in the world and left you to it? You prefer to be alone, but…isn’t this special interest more special when you can share it with someone?
“Squid?”
You and Gojo are both in the middle of his room, on the floor, and currently have your faces shoved against his little plushies that are shaped like the first evolution of the original Digimon set. It’s so soft and squishy. Gojo is really proud of finding them and you can’t blame him. It’s cool that he’s not afraid to have cute things like this like a lot of guys are.
“Oh. Hey, Suguru.” You look over your shoulder at him, a little nervous. Before he can grill you about being alone with his unofficial rival, you quickly explain, “I’m getting informed about Digimon.” You spin around on your ass, shoving the plushy out. “Come feel this. It’s so soft.”
Suguru scowls. “No.”
“No is right!” Gojo loudly agrees. “He’s not allowed to the nice stuff!”
“Girls aren’t allowed in our dorm,” Suguru says more to Gojo than you.
“It’s fine until dark. I already asked Yaga.”
Suddenly, there’s a tension in Suguru’s shoulders. His jaw clenches and his eyes narrow at Gojo. “Why do you know that?”
“Shouldn’t you be happy about this news?” Gojo shoots back, a clear deflection. “You can hang out with her now.”
Suguru presses a thumb to the center of his forehead. He holds that position, trying to calm himself down. When he does, he moves his attention back to you. “He didn’t pressure you to come in here, did he?”
Before Gojo can open his mouth, you swing the plushy back to hit him. The way he sputters and Suguru’s proud smirk is a sign that you hit him right in the face. “I can make decisions on my own,” you tell Suguru which wipes that little smirk right off his face. “We’re doing a show and tell…kind of. You should bring your headphones and let us listen to your music!”
“I didn’t consent to this!” Gojo complains.
This going back and forth is a little annoying, so you angle your body to face them both. To Gojo, you say, “Okay, that’s your call. This is your stuff, after all.” To Suguru, you ask, “Um…I’ll meet you in an hour? We can listen to your music then. Does that sound good?”
Gojo groans. The excitement to share outweighs his need to annoy Suguru because he concedes with an exasperated, “Fine! He can come hang out!”
“Fine,” Suguru agrees with the same amount of annoyance.
But, hey, a win is a win.
***
The last of your class moves in a few days before the semester starts. It’s early in the morning when she does, so the noise in the hallway startles you awake, and you go stumbling out of your room without a second thought to how you’re dressed. Your door opening catches your roommate’s attention and she’s looking in your direction when you walk in her line of sight.
Both of you stare wordlessly at one another. There’s a beauty mark under the corner of her eye that catches your attention before anything else. Her brunette hair is cut short, barely past her chin, and her bangs are swept to the side. You’re watched by curious, brown eyes. At first glance, you think she’s got a cigarette in her mouth, but it doesn’t have the filter on the end. It might be one of those chalky candy sticks.
“Oh! You’re so pretty!” You blurt the words out before your sleep-addled brain can catch them. Heat crawls up the back of your neck and the tips of your ears. “Sorry!”
She laughs good-naturedly. “What? Should I be offended by a pretty girl giving me compliments?” And how…do you react to that? No one has ever called you pretty before. She unintentionally throws you a bone by moving the conversation somewhere else with her name. “I’m Ieiri Shoko. Nice to meet you.”
You give her your name, bow, and the same polite, “Nice to meet you, too. I look forward to working with you.”
“We’re living together now. You don’t need to be all formal.” It’s a force of habit. You learned quickly as a child that the world revolves around politeness and manners. “Sorry for waking you.”
“That’s okay.” You hesitate. “Do you need help?”
“Please. My parents bailed. I’m lucky they even had the time to drop me off. Not sure how they even had the time to pop me out with how busy they are at the hospital.”
You’re rolling up your sleeves as you walk over to her door. “They’re…doctors?”
“Surgeons, yeah,” she answers casually. “Makes sense that I ended up with the technique that I did, even if no sorcerer in our family has ever had it. We’ve always been big on healing, or so my parents have told me.”
“What’s your technique?”
“Reverse Cursed Technique, but I can use it on myself and others. It’s rare to extend it to other people.” Your blank expression has her chuckling. “You’re from a non-sorcerer family, huh?”
Your face is back to being hot again. “Sorry. Sensei…um…I don’t think he went over that yet.”
“I’m not sure that he will. It’s advanced. Even among the best, strongest sorcerers, it’s a rare skill. Baby sorcerers only know about it because it’s a thing to aspire to, y’know?”
Whoa. “What is it? You must be really powerful, right?”
Ieiri laughs. “No way. Reverse Cursed Technique alone is healing yourself. Like I said, I can take it further and heal others. Oh, and I have this…ability to find disturbances in the mind and body.” Then, she puts her ability in practice. “I know you got your tongue pierced.”
Your fingers fly up to touch your lips. “And you think that’s not powerful?”
“Flatterer.” Between all your back and forth with her, you’ve both gotten all the boxes inside her room. She flops down on the bare mattress. “What’s your technique?”
“Nothing as cool or useful as yours, I think.” You rock back and forth on your feet nervously. “They don’t see me unless I want them to. Also, I can pacify them. Nothing more than that. I only make them calm.”
“Guess we’ll both be saving lives.” There it is again. Someone can see more purpose in your technique than you can. Your brain just can’t compute with that. You’ll just…stand there and pacify spirits. It seems like so little to save actual lives. “Are our other classmates here yet? Have you met them?”
“Yes. One of them is my best friend, actually. His name is Geto Suguru. We came from the same village and he’s from a non-sorcerer family, too. Please be patient with both of us. And our other classmate is Gojo Satoru—” Ieiri groans loudly. You smile meekly. “I guess you know that his family is important?”
“If you have even a hint of sorcery in your family, you know about the big three clans, so, yeah, I know. My parents have never been active sorcerers, but they’re in the know of the community. No one has been able to shut up about the Gojo heir since he was born. I think my parents said it’s been…hundreds of years since someone was born with the Six Eyes?”
You nod. “Right. He said something about that. They’re special.”
“That’s an understatement.” There’s a lull in the conversation and, in the silence, you hear a familiar noise. It didn’t come from you. Ieiri laughs, no hint of shame at her stomach outing her. “I guess since I woke you up that you haven’t had breakfast. Want to grab something to eat? My parents didn’t give me time to eat.”
Your brows furrow. “They’re doctors. Shouldn’t they be more worried about your nutrition?”
Ieiri just starts laughing.
***
The school term starts.
Suguru and Gojo still aren’t getting along well. It almost seems worse because when actual schoolwork starts, they’re essentially tied on their marks. In regard to their techniques, while Gojo has more cursed energy, Suguru has more refined control. Suguru also takes to martial arts extremely well and Gojo, who you’re sure has been touched even less than you have, is almost always overcome when they spar. Gojo is faster than Suguru and is learning to use that to an advantage.
As for you and Ieiri, you hope that she likes her as much as you like her. It’s…easy to be around her. You admit that you had a lot of issues with her deadpan sense of humor, but she seemed to catch on quickly and now will usually tell you if she’s joking or being sarcastic. There are also some hiccups with food because you two share cooking duty, but she starts learning what textures you hate and which you love.
In your studies, you do okay, but you’re last in the class. If Ieiri wasn’t so lazy, she’d give the guys a run for their money. You are a lot more in shape than her despite your larger size and you lay her out flat in sparring. Yaga declared that you and she would be mostly non-combatant sorcerers due to the nature of your techniques, but he insisted that you and she learn martial arts for self-defense. Actually, you’re more in shape than Gojo even. Suguru is leagues ahead of you, obviously, because he’s so much more coordinated and stronger.
About a month in, you’re given your first assignment.
And by you what you actually mean is yourself and Gojo.
In the last few years, the number of cursed spirits has been steadily increasing. There are two separate incidents with relatively low-level curses and all the higher-grade sorcerers are occupied with higher-level curses, so you and your classmates are split up in teams of two.
Suguru was not happy about the pairings, but Yaga said that you and Suguru know how to work well together already. Then, kind of bitchily, Yaga explained that if Suguru and Gojo got along better then Yaga would’ve simply had them handle both batches themselves. Later, you try to reassure Suguru by reminding him that there’s going to be a more seasoned sorcerer with you—the newly graduated Kusakabe Atsuya. You don’t think it made him feel better.
Kusakabe will meet you there. On the way to meet him, you ask Gojo, “Should we…come up with a plan?”
“Why?”
You fiddle with the metal aglet on the ends of your hooded sweatshirt’s drawstrings. “I would feel better if we did.”
“We don’t even know the layout of this place,” he points out.
“Right,” you mumble. You’d forgotten about that, honestly. “You’re right.” You slip the aglet in your mouth and chew on it nervously.
Gojo huffs. “You stop it. I blow it up. Simple as that.”
“Can I draw it first?”
“Hah?”
You squirm uncomfortably. Hesitantly, you show him your old sketchbook. You kept it in case you come across a similar cursed spirit and need to compare notes. You’ve also got your new, blank sketchbook to start a new, more official record. “I like to study them,” you explain timidly. “It’s…kinda like my Digimon…I guess…”
Gojo takes the sketchbook from you, casually flipping through the pages. “Why cursed spirits, though?”
“Why’d you pick Digimon instead of some other anime?” You shrug nervously. “It’s hard to explain. At first, I thought some of them looked really cool. I made myself get better at art so that I could draw them, in case they were exorcised somehow. Then, I wanted to know how they got those shapes. It became about their behavior next. I’ve always loved mythology and animals, too, so maybe that influenced the interest a little.”
“Hmph. Alright. I’ll try to hold off on blowing it up.” Before he turns his head away, you notice a pinkness on his cheeks. “You can talk about them with me, if you want. Like…how I talk about Digimon and stuff.”
You duck your head, face hot. “Thank you.”
The assignment doesn’t take long at all. It may take more time for you to sketch the spirits than it does for Gojo to blow them away. There were a lot of them. They all took the same form which was vaguely pufferfish shaped. You know that the weaker, tinier spirits tend to group up, and these were no different.
Their behavior around Gojo was the odd thing, though. Unless the spirit is a higher grade, spirits never reacted to Suguru when you were around. It’s not like that with Gojo. He’d held back to let you sketch, but when he stepped toward you, the group started to shift restlessly in their places. Then, when he got too close, they shot their spines out. If Gojo hadn’t dashed forward and tackled you to the ground, covering you with his Infinity-lined body, you would be a porcupine.
“It was fascinating!”
Suguru looks faint as you recount your assignment to him over dinner. You made sure to pick up something light for him since eating curses fucks with his stomach. You got him some onigiri for the morning when he’ll be ravenous, making sure to mark them as yours before you tuck them in the communal fridge. Hopefully, it’ll succeed in tricking Gojo because you have no doubt that he’d eat them to antagonize Suguru.
“I wonder what it is about Gojo that freaked them out like that,” you mutter to yourself. “You’re as strong as him. Do you think you have some sort of calming effect on them because of your technique? Or what if they can sense the spirits inside you and it confuses them?”
“No more thinking tonight, Squid,” Suguru declares and closes your sketchbook. “We have three years to figure out both our techniques.”
“Fine.”
“Well, now you just sound like Gojo with that bratty attitude.”
“It’s not bratty! It’s called being a nerd.”
Suguru gives a shake of the head as he laughs. “You can be a nerd and a brat at the same time.” You watch him start to clean up the empty food containers. His face is doing something…weird. You can’t pinpoint this particular emotion. “Squid…are you up for touch today?”
“Yeah. Why?”
“Can I hold you?” Suguru, uncharacteristically vulnerable, goes on to admit, “I was worried about you today.”
“If anyone was worried, it was me. You didn’t have me there to calm the spirits down.” You two ate while sitting in the floor, so you hold your arms out to him like the brat that he accused you of being. “C’mon. I never get Suguru hugs anymore. I really miss them.”
He smiles, a little shy. “Brat.”
“No. I’m Squid, remember? You never let me forget.”
For some reason, your brain replaced hold with hug. You’re fully expecting him to help you up and give you something quick, but he doesn’t do that. He drops in behind you, wrapping an arm around your waist to pull you back between his open legs. You squeak at the manhandling and your heart starts to beat faster. When your back is against his broad chest, he slips both his arms around your middle, and leans his chin on the top of your head with a happy sigh.
“Oh,” you whisper unthinkingly.
Suguru mistakes your tension with overstimulation. “Is this okay still?”
“Yes.”
Why are you so nervous? You’re not being bombarded by stimuli, so it can’t be because of that. Actually…it feels really good to be in his arms. He’s always so warm. You feel as if his arms are all-encompassing. It makes you feel safe. It makes you feel loved. And Suguru should be feeling that way, too, so you need to push away this weirdness inside you. You twist around in his arms, putting yours around his waist, shoving your face against his hard chest.
“Squid hugs are the best hugs,” Suguru whispers.
***
“Do you know how to help with a broken nose?”
You’re in the library when Sensei appears in the doorway and asks that almost ominous question. Slowly, you put the book back on the shelf, eyeing Sensei warily. He simply looks back at you, exhaustion seeping from every pore. The resignation you see in him is familiar, too. The pieces quickly add up. The air around Sensei paired with the cryptic text that came from Suguru with only a simple apology…
Oh, no.
“I can plug up the nosebleed and make an ice pack,” you answer with an equally tired sigh.
Sensei nods and gives a curt thanks. Before you and he go your separate ways, you sheepishly ask if you can talk to Suguru before he does, but Sensei shuts that idea down immediately. You’re then held up by being given a quick yet scathing lecture about needing to let Suguru face the consequences of his own actions and to stop coddling him. You bow profusely in apology as he’s leaving the room.
Ieiri is away on a research trip of sorts. Being taught the human body and putting her technique into use. Thankfully, she said she’ll be back today, but not until later tonight. Gojo is stuck with your shabby patchwork until then. So, you grab a first-aid kit, fill up an ice pack, and meet him in the classroom that Sensei told you he’d be waiting in.
Gojo has an arm against his face, likely trying to stop the bleeding since it’s stained. You wordlessly get to work. Unfortunately, you have experience with nosebleeds and broken nose. Noses? Can a nose be broken twice? Suguru’s nose still sits crooked from his father’s rage.
“Pinch,” you order softly after you take Gojo’s hand and move his fingers to the bridge of his nose. You reach for his face, pausing as he flinches when you get close. You give him a moment to prepare before you guide him to tilt his head back with gentle hands along his jawline. Blood is smeared all across his lower face and still dripping down from his nostrils. You cringe at the sight. Suguru got him good. “This might hurt,” you warn before you pack his nose with gauze.
“No lecture?” Gojo’s voice is high and nasally.
“You don’t think you’ll be getting one from Sensei?” You grab a damp, warm cloth and start wiping away the blood. “Besides, whatever you did, you got a broken nose for it. What else do I need to say?”
“Might prefer the broken nose over your disappointment,” he says with a pout.
“I’m not disappointed.” You pause. “I don’t think I am, anyway.”
Gojo leans his head back even further, sighing dramatically. “Your BFF is scary when he’s angry.”
“Suguru does this thing where he’ll hold all his emotions close. They sit there, building up pressure, and then one day, he’ll just explode. So, yeah, that’s a little scary. Not so much for me, though. I only worry.” He pouts more. “What’s that face for?”
“No worry for me?”
Your hands hesitate. “Maybe kind of?” Should you say what you want to? Eh. Gojo rarely cares. Why should you? “I’d love it if you two could get along, so I worry that this might keep that from happening forever, but…you probably pushed him. I could be wrong, but you probably deserved this.”
Gojo throws his clean arm over his eyes. “Yeah…I did…” Oh? That’s certainly a change of heart. “No one has ever touched me like that before…” There’s a redness on his cheeks now that doesn’t come from the blood stains. Is he embarrassed that he lost or something? “Why aren’t you and Suguru scared of me?” He tries to lean his head back down, but you keep him in place with a hand gripping his chin. “See? See! Not even my family touches me so casually!”
“What? Is your family actually scared of you?”
“Yeah. Always have been, even if they pretend not to be. They treat me like a god to hide it, but I learned. Everyone is scared of me. Maids apologized for touching me by accident when I was a kid and needed help getting dressed.” Your incredulousness must make him self-conscious because he shrugs. “C’mon, you’ve been around long enough now to pick up on this, Sketch. I’m the jujutsu world’s weapon.”
Normally, you’re immune to being shocked by Gojo’s directness. Not this time. “It’s stupid if you believe that.” Ugh. You’re so pissed off right now. You want to punch someone. That was his mother on the first day that he came to campus, right? Can she come back? Does she have Infinity? “You’re bleeding and breathing right now, aren’t you? Weapons don’t do that. Gods don’t get migraines because of their special eyes. You’re a human. You’re Gojo Satoru.”
“But who is Gojo Satoru if he’s not those things?”
“A sugar-addicted brat who pushes when he shouldn’t,” you intone. He giggles, taking it as the joke it’s supposed to be. “Aren’t you too young to be having an identity crisis? I can’t tell you who you are. I’m not even sure I know who I am. Don’t they say you’re supposed to figure that out in high school or something?”
“Dunno,” he mumbles.
The blood is cleaned from his face. You reach for the icepack but falter. You don’t feel like you’ve said anything helpful. If anything, you feel like you’ve put him in a bad spot. So, you try to reassure him. “It’s okay to take time to figure out who you are, Gojo—”
“Satoru.”
“Huh?”
“Call me Satoru…please…”
“Ah.” You can understand why he wants to be so informal. If he wants to distance himself from his stupid family, you’re more than happy to oblige. “Okay.” He yelps when you press the icepack against his nose. “Let’s all try to get along from now on, okay…Satoru.”
Later, you have Suguru’s big hand in yours while you carefully dab antiseptic on the cuts all over them. You know that this isn’t solely from punching Satoru in the nose, but you don’t press Suguru about it. He hasn’t spoken since you knocked on the door to his dorm room and you’re okay with that. You’ve been through this routine before. It’s what you two do. You patch each other up, being a silent and steady presence until whoever is upset wants to talk.
When you’ve cleaned all his cuts, you try to clean up all the pieces of paper from the band-aids, but Suguru stops you. He slips his fingers through yours and your entwined hands hover in the air between you two. You watch as he intensely studies your hands, so you do the same. When did his hands get so much bigger than yours? How do your hands feel to him, you wonder, because his are so rough. You like the difference, though.
“I’m sorry,” Suguru finally apologizes. “I broke the sunglasses you gave him.”
You huff in amusement. That’s what he’s worried about? “It’s okay.”
“They were your first purchase in Tokyo.”
Ah, you sometimes kind of hate how well he knows you. You do tend to assign some importance to seemingly unimportant trinkets. “I think I’m more attached to the piercings that we got together. I’ll probably keep this somewhere when I finally have to get a new barbell.” You stick out your tongue, as if he’s forgotten the piercing.
“I would’ve given you that first set of earrings if that was the case,” Suguru grumbles. Shoko had used you and Suguru as guinea pigs for her technique and healed your piercings, so Suguru quickly started the process of stretching his ears. As he said, he’d thrown away that first set of earrings.
“I know it’s weird to ask that sort of thing.”
“It’s you, Squid. Nothing is weird anymore.”
“Hmm, sounds like a challenge. I need to find something to disturb you.”
“Please don’t.”
“I’ll be nice for now because you had a bad day.”
“Bad day doesn’t even begin to cover it.” There’s a tired slump in his shoulders now. “He was playing around too much. Instead of exorcising the curse or letting me absorb it, he kept taunting it. The spirit threw me out a window trying to get to him, so I got pissed. I absorbed it and punched him in the face.” He pauses before lowly confessing, “I punched him a second time when I saw the sunglasses broke because I thought they were special to you. I was upset at myself for losing my temper and mad at him for not being careful with them even though it was my fault.”
You hum. “Is that guilt, Suguru?”
“Guilt for the sunglasses.”
“Right.” Again, you’re not pushing, but you doubt he doesn’t feel bad in some way. Otherwise, he wouldn’t be as melancholic as he is right now. “I’m going to let you sit on this, but…I think Satoru actually feels bad, so he might apologize. I didn’t tell him to, by the way. Just like I’m not telling you to forgive him. But I thought you should know.”
Suguru’s brow twitches. “You’re on first name basis with him now?”
“Yeah.”
“Ugh. He’s just doing it to piss me off.”
You’re the one to feel a flash of irritation now. “Doing what exactly? Being my friend? Are you saying that he can’t actually want to be my friend without some ulterior motive?”
Then, he rolls his eyes. Rolls his eyes! “Squid, you’re just reaching now. You know that’s not what I’m saying—”
“What are you saying, then? Has he said something bad that I don’t know about?”
The corners of his eyes are tight. Through gritted teeth, he answers, “No.”
“Okay. So, what’s the problem?”
“I just don’t trust him around you, okay?”
“You just said that he hasn’t done anything shady other than wanting to be my friend.” You yank your hands away from his, baring your teeth. “Am I not allowed to have those? Are you going to say that you don’t trust Shoko around me either?”
Then, he has the audacity to look hurt. “No! That’s not what I’m saying at all! You’re allowed to have friends!”
“Okay! Satoru and Shoko are my friends, too!” Are you overreacting? Tears prick at the corners of your eyes which makes you feel even more stupid. Why are you about to cry? Stupid, stupid, stupid brain. “I’m going back to my room. I’ve got blood under my nails and I fucking hate it.”
“Squid, I’m sorry—”
“Save it, Suguru.”
When you’re woken up by tapping against your window at one in the morning, you seriously debate shoving a pillow over your head and ignoring him. There’s a part of you that wants to let him stew in his guilt. You can’t keep forgiving him as soon as he comes running.
This seems like an insignificant thing to stay mad over, though…
After you take a deep breath, you roll out of bed, walk over to your window, and open it up for him to climb through.
Suguru genuinely does look miserable. More than punching Satoru or breaking your sunglasses made him. When he apologizes, you accept it. And when he shyly asks if he can sleepover, you let him. It’s been years since you guys have shared a bed, but your parents aren’t around to send him home.
Suguru said your hugs are the best hugs, but you have to disagree. You know you’ll wake up in the morning, skin slick with sweat, because he’s a furnace, but you’ve missed this. It’s always been so easy to let Suguru touch you. It got to the point where even the touch of your parents would make you wince, but not his. He asks, but you always say yes. You’re never overwhelmed by the way his big body curls around yours.
“I’m sorry,” Suguru apologizes one last time before you both fall asleep. “I’m scared to lose you,” he slurs sleepily.
“Never,” you mumble right back. “You’ll never lose me.”
***
Five months into the term, it’s time for the annual Goodwill Event.
This year wasn’t the best for Tokyo recruitment, so it’s only your class in the entire school. It’s not the same for Kyoto. They only have one person in their third year, Iori Utahime, but the rest of the years have more students. Normally, first years aren’t allowed to compete, and Tokyo would simply forfeit this year, but because of Suguru and Satoru’s strength, an exception is made.
Kyoto brings a total of eight students—three girls, five boys. Two judges come with them, too—their principal, Gakuganji, and a Grade 1 sorcerer, Mei-Mei.
It’s been about two months after the big Suguru-Satoru Blowout. As you predicted, they apologized to each other not long after the incident. Dare you say, they might be more than simple acquaintances now. Dare you say, they might actually be sort of friends. They’ve really bonded over being assholes, actually. They’re still stupidly competitive and bicker, but it’s no longer malicious. They can exist in the same space as you and there’s no more awkwardness. You spend time with them together and it’s so much fun.
The Goodwill Event reminds you of that deep-rooted fear of Suguru’s, though. A fear that you had before you left the village, you remember suddenly. It finally happens. Suguru is adored. Fawned over. Truly seen for the first time in your lives. The same is done to Satoru, too, but you banked on that happening. And, technically, it makes sense. Guys want their power and girls just want them period.
It was stupid to pretend that your school exists in a bubble. In the back of your mind, you’ve known that you’d eventually have to meet other sorcerers and that not everyone will like you. You’ve prepared yourself for that, haven’t you? It shouldn’t bother you that the Kyoto students barely even acknowledge your existence when you’re in the same space as Suguru and Satoru. You get it, right? They’re admirable. Shoko is awed at for her technique, too, and that’s great! It’s wonderful!
Just four days, you remind yourself as you’re sitting under a tree by yourself and shoving food in your mouth. Four days, and then the Kyoto students will be gone. It’s okay, you chant to yourself. No one noticed you leave, but you wanted some air, anyway. And, hey, you even made a friend! Sure, Shoko had to introduce you to her and break the ice between you two, but Iori has a sharp tongue and awesome sense of humor. A senpai to truly look up to. If you can get along with one new person then you can get along with the rest.
“Yo! Sketch!”
You pause right before you take a bite of your tamagoyaki. “Satoru?” Fruit sando and melon soda in hand, he easily flops down next to you at the base of the tree. “What are you doing here?”
“It’s exhausting dealing with all those brown nosers.” He takes an aggressive chunk out of his sandwich. “Ugh. I can’t believe we’re gonna have to share a dorm with these assholes for four days. I don’t need a bunch of strangers in my business.” His lip curls in disgust. “Suguru lecture you about playing nice?”
“Yes.” You take a grumpy bite out of your tamagoyaki. “I’m trying not to stress about it, but they were already talking about breakfast, and I can’t imagine the mess they’ll make.” It’s a struggle not to snap your chopsticks from the death grip that you’ve got on them. “Suguru says that I need to learn how to handle my routine being interrupted better.”
Satoru huffs. “Easy for him to say.”
Well, it makes you feel a lot better to know that someone else understands your pain. “All we can do is our best.”
“Or we can make their lives hell.”
You duck your head, trying to hide your smile. “It wouldn’t kill you to play nice with others, Satoru.”
“Naw, I think it actually would.”
“You’re nice to me.”
“Sketch is different.” Heat explodes in your cheeks. You outright turn your head away, not giving him the satisfaction of seeing how much he flustered you with that. Since he doesn’t tease you, he didn’t see. “We should stay in a hotel. We could do one of those capsule hotels, y’know?”
“And have my knees and elbows bumping against the sides? No way.” You stick your tongue out in disgust. After the third bump of a limb, you know it would drive you insane. Besides, “Would you even fit in one of those?” Ah. Wait. Were you supposed to take that seriously? “Were you joking?”
You look back over at him and he’s scratching the bridge of his nose. “Not really.”
“Ha. Okay, so, a couple of things—I think we’re too young to book a room, and a girl and boy in the same room? Scandalous.”
He gives an exaggerated sigh. “Fine.”
Sympathetic to his plight, you reach over to pat his knee. “Hang in there.”
These days, it’s a little easier for you to pick up on the kind of mood Satoru is in. It’s the second day now, early in the morning, and you’re dragged by Shoko to the designated gathering spot of Tokyo and Kyoto students. Just by the way that Satoru lashes out at people, purposely baiting them with taunts and cruel bluntness, you can tell that he’s in as bad a mood as you are. And you can’t blame him.
The other two girls on the Kyoto side are Ota Juri and Takata Tenka. They cleaned up after themselves, but they moved everything around in the kitchen and didn’t put it back in the original spot, so you got pissed off trying to find where something went. You could live with that, but they’re also…invasive. After they went looking for Suguru and Satoru yesterday and found the boys with you, their attitude toward you quickly changed. They think they’re slick, subtly probing about your friendship with Suguru and Satoru. They try to act familiar now, getting touchy, thinking that’ll warm you up to them faster.
To say that you’re on a wire’s edge today would be an understatement. You don’t know which one suggested it, but you want to deck whichever one of these girls suggested shopping as a way to build comradery between the sister schools and the people you may be working with in the future. They just want to experience the Tokyo scene like they probably couldn’t get permission to ride a train here on any other day.
At the mall, Ota and Takata take the lead. They have very domineering personalities, so their classmates allow the girls to drag them along. You try to sneak away, sometimes with Shoko and Iori behind you, but Ota and Takata hunt you down—probably trying to show off how caring they are to Suguru and Satoru or something. Eventually, you stop trying. You shut up and linger at the back of the group.
You try to do that, anyway.
Shoko, as equally over this trip, drags you into the beauty store because if she’s going down, you’re going with her.
“Aren’t you going to get anything?” Ota questions as you’re just passively glancing over products. You almost miss the question because you’re teetering on the edge of overstimulation. Why do beauty stores have to use so much fluorescent lighting? You forgot your fucking sunglasses.
“I’m not big into makeup. I don’t like how it feels on my face.”
Ota laughs obnoxiously. “You’re just using the wrong product, silly.”
You force a smile. “My mom already tested a bunch out with me. I just really don’t like any of it.”
Takata has been eavesdropping. She takes up Ota’s side, smiling as predatory as Ota is now. “Was it the foundation? I know the liquid can be heavy. Have you tried powder?” You lose control of your temper a little and roll your eyes. Don’t these girls know how to take no for an answer? “Don’t be like that,” Takata scolds. “Look, you could stand to use some makeup. We’re trying to help you.”
“Help how?”
If Satoru hadn’t spoken up ahead of time, you’d probably tip over when he practically drapes himself on your shoulder.
Ota and Takata perk up at his presence. You can almost see the hearts in their eyes. “Satoru!” Takata chirps.
“Oi, oi, oi, you’re getting awfully familiar there. Who gave you first name privilege, huh?”
Her syrupy sweet smiles falter. “Oh, I’m sorry. I thought—”
“Don’t hurt yourself. Steam might start spewing from your ears. It’s obvious you don’t have a lot going on up there.”
Takata deflates at the insult. “Sa—Gojo—” her gaze flickers to you. Pleading for you to intervene. When she gets nothing from you, she scrambles. “I’m sorry if we offended you somehow—”
“Not me you should be apologizing to.” Your eyes widen. Is he doing this for you? “Y’know, Sketch, it’s good that someone has some sense around here. Make sure you don’t get attached to these idiots, okay? They’ll be so busy thinking about makeup that they’ll up as bloody smears on the wall pretty soon.”
You frown as you look up at him. “What if I do want makeup?”
He brightens. “Can I buy you something?”
Try to make the favoritism less obvious, you think with a twitch of the brow. “Find an art store and we’ll talk.”
“Eh? I already did,” he says as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world that he would go scouting for art supply stores. “Can we leave now? I’m bored,” he whines. You hope you’re not gawking when you nod. “Awesome! Let’s go! I found a shop that sells sweets, too!”
Suguru is hovering at the entrance of the store, brows furrowed in concern, but he steps out of the way for you and Satoru, who is practically dragging you out with a grip on your wrist. Suguru isn’t allowed confusion or shock because Satoru is snatching his hand on the way out.
“Satoru, you’re going to rip my arm off,” Suguru complains when the other students are out of sight.
Satoru stops dead in his tracks, so sudden that you and Suguru almost crash into him. He looks over his shoulder at you both. The angle you’re in allows you to see the wideness of his eyes. He still hasn’t let go of your wrist. Actually, his grip tightens, which makes Suguru get huffier.
“Satoru,” he calls out exasperatedly.
Oh.
You’re not sure if Suguru has realized it himself, but he’s using Satoru’s given name now. No wonder Satoru is stunned. It’s so odd. What changed between this morning and now? Because Suguru was definitely referring to him as his surname earlier. You won’t ask because Suguru might clam up and this peace may shatter.
“Oh. Uh. Sorry,” Satoru mutters as he finally releases his hold on you and Suguru.
On the fourth and final day of the Goodwill Event, something…weird happens during your individual match.
Tokyo easily won the team battle. The individual battles are where Kyoto can even the odds. The thing is that Satoru and Suguru are going to win their individual match. As much as you adore her, you expected that Shoko would lose hers, and she did. You couldn’t hear what was happening, but you think that she flirted with Iori more than fight, but Iori didn’t allow herself to get too flustered, and took the win.
You think that Kyoto expects you to lose your match because plans were already made about the tiebreaker. There would be a random draw for one last individual match to decide which school wins the day. There was no word on what would be done to break the tie if each school has their own point.
So, your win is an upset.
If you’re honest with yourself, you didn’t think that you’d win, either. It didn’t look good. It was your luck that you were pitted against the biggest guy on Kyoto’s side. Not as tall as Suguru and Satoru, sure, but the guy is built like a literal tank. During the team battle, if Suguru hadn’t summoned a cursed spirit in time to cushion the blow, this guy would’ve knocked him out with a single punch.
You didn’t stand a chance at winning, you’d told yourself as you were running through the forest, but after the whole mall fiasco, you wanted to try to last long enough to not be the laughingstock of this year.
As soon as the siren sounded, you went running. Your opponent supplemented his lack of technique with shikigami use, so you had time while he channeled energy into an intermediary to summon his shikigami. You’re trying to think of a plan on the fly, not sure what to do since your technique is useless against people.
This would be easier if there weren’t still so many fucking cursed spirits left in the forest. You’re pacifying them, obviously, but you still have to duck around them. Ugh, why can’t you control them like Suguru can? No, at this point…
I wish you would just die, please. Bloody and painfully would be preferred.
And, as soon as you have that thought, the big curse that you were dashing past moves. Your body freezes on instinct. The spirit shouldn’t be moving around you. Your technique is still active. At the most, this curse is Grade 3. It raises a clawed hand, and you throw your arms up, ready to protect yourself from a whole new problem.
There’s a sickening crunch and the curse screeches in pain. Purple blood splatters across the front of you. When you drop your arms, confused as to what attacked the spirit and saved you, you watch the gruesome scene of the curse slowly ripping limbs away from its body. It still has that dead-eyed look that spirits get when you’ve pacified them, but it moves with an urgency to tear itself apart.
Once the curse has only one arm left, it proceeds to push its arm through its own chest, grabbing its heart. That heart is thrown at your feet. Then, as its final act, it slowly twists its head around until it’s the opposite way, pulls its head off, and the curse finally crumbles to pieces.
What the fuck happened?
From your left, there’s more of those crunches and high-pitched screeching. A curse in the shape of a centipede is trying to crawl toward you between picking legs off with its pincers. At your feet, the curse keeps gnawing at itself, screeching in pain every now and then, until it, too, finally dies and crumbles.
If you didn’t hear the loud roar of your opponent’s shikigami, you’d still be standing there in shock. Your mind runs faster than your legs. That’s not normal behavior. Self-preservation is ingrained into a curse…unless it’s forced like with Suguru. You asked them to die. Moreso, you wanted it to be bloody and painful. The curses listened.
You purposely seek out another spirit now. Die, you mentally scream at the first spirit you see. Unlike with the others, this one doesn’t take time to mutilate itself. It tears its head clean off and that’s it. Blood splatters across your shoes briefly before it fades away with the cursed spirit.
A plan slowly takes shape.
Didn’t you and Shoko stumble across a pack of fly heads yesterday? You’d split up because you knew Kyoto would try to follow Satoru’s presence and get to the winning Grade 2 before you. The fly heads weren’t a bother and the bell had rung sounding your win, anyway.
Where were those? By the river, right? Yes!
You’re getting tired from running and burning cursed energy. You’re pretty sure that you only have one shot at this because you’ll either pass out from exhaustion or get your ass beat by a shikigami. So, yeah, you need to make this count.
The fly heads haven’t moved far.
Kyoto Guy and his shikigami aren’t far behind you.
Just as they’re running out of the tree line, you look at the pacified fly heads. Protect me, you plead them, but that’s too much to ask. It was a test. The fly heads don’t move, but you’re forced to when the shikigami lunges. That thing is sporting some nasty fangs that catch on your arm as you narrowly dodge it.
You play this game of cat and mouse, luring the shikigami away from the sorcerer. All you need is for Kyoto Guy to get close enough to the fly heads. He’s an asshole, laughing cruelly as he watches you scramble away from his shikigami, getting bloodier as you get sloppier from fatigue. Iori was gossiping with you and Shoko, and this guy has a crush on Takata. You figure he’s not happy about Satoru’s cruelty which was a result of him defending you.
Explode! You plead the fly heads when Kyoto Guy steps in their range. Explode, explode, explode!
They do.
The shikigami immediately drops the fight with you, thinking the fly heads are the more immediate threat. Like little paint bombs, the fly heads splatter their blood across Kyoto Guy when they force themselves to combust. There are so many of them that he’s continually being splattered.
While he’s blinded by the blood of cursed spirits, you pour cursed energy into your fist. Sprinting past the shikigami that’s snapping at fly heads, you give this asshole a ferocious kick to the balls to get him to hunch over.
You slam your fist square in the center of his face. There’s so much force in the punch that he goes flying back, landing in the shallow river with such a painful sounding thud, and he doesn’t get up. You’d think you killed him if it wasn’t for the subtle rise and fall of his chest.
The alarm sounds.
Tokyo wins.
Later, you’re walking out of the infirmary behind Shoko who proudly announces, “She gave him a concussion!”
Sensei gives you all a lecture on good sportsmanship after Satoru, Suguru, and Shoko break out into applause and cheers.
#my fic#jjk fanfic#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#gojo x reader#geto x reader#satosugu x reader#jjk gojo#jjk geto#autistic gojo#autistic reader
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