#'op you forgot' i don't think i did

[nat-20s]

*best obviously is a relative term. I would say most compelling/well-written/closest to queer coding rather than queer baiting, but it's up to you, the voter

[fishyfishyfishtimes]

Daily fish fact #6 444 205

Fish!

The fish like to have a little drink :) Sadly as they drink the water around them they also drink their own pee, and that is the curse that they will have to live with for the rest of their life

#fish #fishfact #fish facts #fishblr #biology #zoology

( 2 notes )

🪼 clovergonads follow

Tasseled wobbegong women >>>>>>>>>>>

🐸 i-eat-skin follow

bitch those are goosefish

( 27,196 notes )

🐚 seashell-on-the-seashore follow

Say what you want about fishblr updates, but I think this format for reblubs is a wonderful improvement over the previous one. One of the only times staff did good.

🐚 seashell-on-the-seashore

@featherstar53 If reblub chains got too long, new reblubs would start appearing as darker and darker until you couldnt see the text anymore. It mimicked how light disappears as you go deeper in the ocean but the sunken code this webbedsite runs on never set a cap for how dark it gets, so eventually you would have to copy ad paste the text on the reblubs onto somewhere to read them.

🐍 swamplamprey follow

It sounds fake but it's true! You can still find some older fishblr post screenshots with this effect:

This even went for full abyssal mode users! In their case, the text would slowly turn from white to dark blue, effectively making it impossible to read against the black background.

🦞 fastest-claw-in-the-west follow

I think it would be super funny if they brought this back but for individual posts. Like the reblubs stay the same colour but the posts themselves get gradually and gradually darker until you can't see them anymore lol. It would be disastrous but also funny and it might finally stop some of you frys from being so addicted to this webbedsite

#im all for a bit of chaos lol #treasure trove: talking tag

( 730 notes )

🌿 invertlike-behaviour follow

Okay for the record. My eyes are Red because I'm a COMMON ROACH! RUTILUS RUTILUS! It's not because I smoke seaweed!

🌿 invertlike-behaviour

Okay Yes I smoke seaweed all day. But the specific reason my eyes are red is Not That

( 104 notes )

🦈 spiritually-placoderm follow

🫧 surgeonsturgeon follow

OP you forgot brackish water and the option for inhabiting both

🦈 spiritually-placoderm

Shut your inferior ass mouth up

🫧 surgeonsturgeon

#(i couldnt find the actual gif i wanted to use but this weird tiger shark will have to do) #(not sure why his fins look like that)

( 1,020 notes )

☀️ slenderfish follow

"ocean sunfish have over 40 parasite species" factoid actualy just statistical error. average ocean sunfish is infected with only one or two parasites. Parasites Georg, the mola who suffers from every ailment known to fish and has over 1 000 000 000 parasite species infesting his flesh and organs, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

( 193,239 notes)

🪷 trout-about-you follow

Selfieeeee :3 (ignore the two sea lampreys attached to my flesh)

🪲 toebiter follow

how did you take the picture you aren't holding your phone

🪷 trout-about-you

The sea lamprey on the left took it for me

( 58 notes )

🔲 salmonidae-supremacy-deactivated

FISH USED TO MIGRATE THOUSANDS OF MILES TO BREED. WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS!!!!

IN MY DAY PUSSFISH LIKE THIS WOULD GET EATEN ALIVE BY REAL RIVER MONSTERS FOR BREAKFAST.

🐟 darting-action follow

these are Siamese fighting fish bruh.... They don't have migration as part of their life cycle lmao

🔲 salmonidae-supremacy-deactivated

OF COURSE THE YOUTH CAN'T PUNCTUATE THEIR SENTENCES PROPERLY. I SHOULDN'T EXPECT SO MUCH FROM THE SOFT FRY THEY ARE. ALWAYS GETTING RILED UP!

🔲 skip-hopper-deactivated

Ignore this guy, @darting-action. He's well known for saying offensive nonsense like this, I think he's bait and trying to get someone to bite.

🔲 salmonidae-supremacy-deactivated

YOU MUST BE ONE OF THOSE INBRED DOMESTIC SCUM OR HATCHED YESTERDAY SINCE YOU ENTIRELY LACK THICK SCALES. I SPEAK THE TRUTH AND ONLY THE TRUTH. IF YOU GET TRIGGERED THEN THAT'S NATURAL SELECTION, SON. YOU SHOULD FIGHT ME IN REAL LIFE.

🔲 walrus-tits-in-my-mouth-deactivated

You really dont know a thing about natural selection, do you? Bettas have flashy fins because they have to seem threatening to possible competitors. They don't migrate so they aren't built for that. They're built for living in ponds and marshes, low oxygen environments, and by cod, they are built for fighting territorial battles! You shouldn't underestimate a fish literally called fighting fish. They're very tough and hardy fish and can even send larger fish fleeing!

🔲 salmonidae-supremacy-deactivated

SIAMESE FLAILING PUSSFISH HAVE LADY FINS BECAUSE THEY'RE WEAK AND SOFT AND HAD HUMANS DECIDE WHO THEY BREED WITH FOR THEM. THEIR QUOTE UNQUOTE "FIGHTING PROWESS" SURE DIDN'T SAVE THEM FROM BEING PRISSY LITTLE PRINCESS FISHIES FOR LITTLE KIDS DID IT? THE INDUBIDABLE FACT IS THAT THEY'RE MUSKIE FOOD.

🔲 iknowthecrabbypattysecretformula-deactivated

Wait a minute... I recongize that picture on the right! That's from @betta-than-this 's OnlyFins! How did you get that picutre hmmm? Salmonidae? How on Ocean did you gain access huh?

🐠 betta-than-this follow

"Indubidable" is a pretty specific word to use. This you @salmonidae-supremacy-deactivated?

🔲 iknowthecrabbypattysecretformula-deactivated

LMAOOOOOO GOTTEMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

🔲 aquarium-life-deactivated

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

🐟 darting-action

woag i never saw this entire chain before until it hit me on my dashboard. Why does this have so many notes

Thanks fishblr user walrus tits in my mouth for biology info i didn't know

🫖 burgle-the-turts follow

Woah woah woah we're just gonna ignore this guy using p*ssfish as an insult!!???? THE CATFISH SLUR????????? No one is going to bring this up!!!!!???????

🔲 tilapia11128-deactivated

does anyone in this thread smoke seaweed

🌊 herringageposts follow

date of origin: 28th of august, 2017

( 392,229 notes )

🟧 sponsored

Suffering all alone, handsome?

No need to anymore.

👄 pollywannacracker follow

Reblub with your favorite snack in the tags! I’ll go first: coral polyps! :}

🚬 shark-noir follow

@ninjalantern-999

#as for me #my fave is definitely my lower set of teeth when they shed #crumchy :D

( 295 notes )

🩸 must-lunge follow

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA STUPID HUMAN DROPPED ITS ELECTRONIC CAMERA IN THE LAKE!!!!!!!! NEVER GETTING THAT BACK BUB!!!!!! I'M TELLING ALL MY ISOPOD AND MUSSEL FRIENDS AND THEY'RE GONNA LIVE INSIDE IT!!!!!

🧑 official-human-posts follow

ofishal human post

#ofishal human post #this post contains humans

( 891 notes )

🦦 hellofromtheotterslide follow

Wait, how come this site is called fishblr and not something like oceanblr or aquablr? Wouldn't that be more inclusive?

👑 goldielocks follow

I believe the name "fishblr" pays homage to the meaning of the word where just about everything in the water was considered a fish. It's why we have words like "shellfish", "whalefish", "jellyfish", "starfish".

Personally aquablr would work really well, too. There's a sizeable amphibious userbase on here.

🦐 worldwideshrimp follow

You forgot whale shark! Those arent fish either but are called fish

👑 goldielocks

....Whale sharks are fish. They are sharks. It's in the name.

🦎 eye-of-newt follow

But I thought it was a whale named after sharks? WHALE shark! Why else would they put whale up first?

👑 goldielocks

A whale named after a shark would be called a shark whale. You can take one look at a whale shark and see that, with its gills and fish tail, it is a shark.

⚪️ number1-seacucumber-ass-enjoyer-77 follow

Wait, then what about baby whales? Are those whales named after babies?

👑 goldielocks

If you're talking about the actual whale babies, then yeah. If you mean the mormyrids, small aquatic animals that can sense electricity, then no, those are fish. Sometimes names are inaccurate to what the animal really is.

🌌 themanta1234 follow

If you think about it, fishblr is also inclusive to aquatic tetrapods since they are lobe-fins, and therefore fish :D It's a term that can include everyone on here, the perfect catchall!

🦑 abyssal-gigantism follow

Ewwww fuck that definition. If mammals hear about them being fish on some sort of """"technicality"""" then this webbedsite is gonna get flooded with those self-important idiots! "OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOOOOO LoOk At MeEeEeEeEEE i'M a MaMmAL!!11!!! I TAKE CARE of mah BAAABIEEEES!1111 I'm SUCH a good MAMAAA!!! All those OTHER STUPID HEARTLESS ANIMALS could NEVER do as I DO!!! I LOVE sweating into my BAABIEEEES' MOUTH1!1!1!111!!! I'm FLUFFY and AWSUM and ERRYBODDY LUUUVSSSSS MEE!!!!!!!!!!111!!!!!!! You should all LUV me TOO!!!!"

Is THAT how you want every fishblr post to look!!!!??????

🦛 drippohippo follow

😨

🪄 magicmanatee45 follow

DD:

🎼 humpbacked-musician-offishal follow

:'''((((

🐋 blainvilles-bitch follow

🕶️ egg-laying-mammal-of-action follow

:///////////

🐢 greenXD follow

i think jellyfish shouldn't be classified as fish because they're clearly living spaghetti

🌜 foolish-idol follow

Great fucking post everyone. Hit the air bubblers

( 60,376 notes )

🟩 ultrahyva-heihoi follow

Guys what the fuck kind of sponsors does fishblr have I just saw an ad for having parasites housed in me who are they advertising to 😭💀💀

#i swear the quality of this site keeps going down and down #if you see ads for parasites then report the shit out of em #fuck em my friend got early onset cataracts due to parasites

( 4 notes )

😃 doweopenandcloseourmouthtoday follow

Yes! :) :O :) :O :) :O :) :O

[jingler]

Wizard 101 Dashboard Simulator (set in arc 1)

0 notes

⛈️ fuckfizzles Follow

Hot take but I shouldn't see any life wizards hogging all the health wisps after almost dying in a dungeon for the 50th time. Don't yall have your decks full of nothing but healing spells already 🙄

⚖️ bladesprinter Follow

why is it always the fizzle-addicts being lifephobic

⛈️ fuckfizzles Follow

Why's it always wizards from the weakest schools crying about schoolphobia

⚖️ bladesprinter Follow

mad because you fizzled again arent you

125 notes

🐉 dragon-theseballs Follow

what's this opaque wizard doing running around dragonspyre lmao

🧭 spiralexplorer38 Follow

OP are you......are you not opaque?

🐉 dragon-theseballs Follow

um.....no??? i'm translucent like everyone else

🎇 lenora-bitchcrow Follow

Is someone gonna tell them

🐉 dragon-theseballs Follow

TELL ME WHAT

🐮 mooooooooooshu Follow

How familiar are you with the name Malistaire?

🐉 dragon-theseballs Follow

i think he was a year or two above me in the academy??? what does he have to do with anything????

🐈 marleyboner Follow

im just gonna leave this link for you op: https://spiralpedia.com/malistaire/dragonspyre

🐉 dragon-theseballs Follow

I'M DEAD???????

⛲️ wysting-away Follow

HOW DID YOU NOT KNOW

🔫 undeadstalker Follow

how is a ghost using spiralblr

🐉 dragon-theseballs Follow

i'm translucent, not incorporeal idiot. and sorry it was kinda hard to tell when EVERYONE in my world ghosted at the same time.

✨️ chad-dickbringer Follow

I FINALLY FOUND THIS POST

⏳️ spiralingdownwardsfast Follow

Oh my titan I only ever saw this post in wandcaps

⛰️ goatedonmooshu Follow

need an update from op on how theyre handling being dead

🐉 dragon-theseballs Follow

i still don't get why some ghosts get to be mysteriously hooded by a shroud and im just translucent me.

23.1k notes

🦋 ladyorielfan23 Follow

Honestly DNI if you support the Young Wizard. Since when is murdering banshees okay just because they're hanging out outside?

🌿 bearingclaws Follow

Imagine being so privileged you don't have to worry about being literally killed every time you leave your home because of Malistaire

🦋 ladyorielfan23 Follow

I'm literally from colossus boulevard. And you know what? We made peace with the gobblers instead of just killing them for wanting a place to stay

🧨 themiddleagedwizard Follow

Ohhhhh my titans. You know WHO made peace with the gobblers FOR you? The young wizard. Anti yws don't even know how much they've done for them.

🦋 ladyorielfan23 Follow

Even if that were true, you telling me to shut up and be grateful a crazed child solider is slaughtering hundreds of people when I never asked them to do that is not helping your case lmao

🌿 bearingclaws Follow

It's always wizards from peaceful zones critiquing the young wizard and forgetting that we're literally IN A WAR. I don't even think the young wizard has a choice in it because they are literally a minor. Complain to ambrose about it but don't hate on people who are finally getting to experience some peace after malistaire completely fucked their lives over.

🦋 ladyorielfan23 Follow

Whatever keep relying on a child solider to fix all your problems but don't be surprised if they get addicted to all that killing and become the next malistaire

🧨 themiddleagedwizard Follow

You CANNOT seriously be comparing the young wizard to malistaire i

Expand

5,480 notes

❄️ iceytears Follow

being a goth but not a necromancer is so funny. sorry for the confusion I can't actually raise ghouls from the dead I just know that black eyeliner is hot.

273 notes

🐴 diegosdick-andballs Follow

at this point whoevers going to save the spiral is gonna come from some dumb world named dirt or some shit

🦄 uniquelymyway Follow

The original date of this post is crazy

🐴 diegosdick-andballs Follow

I forgot about this post holy shit?!

🍖 gobblinthatass Follow

20.3k notes

🛡 meetmeatthearena Follow

I know that ambrose isn't a deathphobe but it's very funny how from an outsider's perspective it definitely looks that way. Like welcome to my academy here's all these beautiful buildings and trees for the other schools meanwhile the death school is just like. Hole.

🎩 strongermarleyboner Follow

op casually forgetting the balance school exists

🛡 meetmeatthearena Follow

I don't think ambrose even knows the balance school exists

4,346 notes

👻 krokpenceee Follow

Introducing Krokpenceee Heals

So I noticed how unhappiness can really plague us. Sometimes the spiral throws so many hit spells at us. It prevents us from being happy and free-spirited. I really want to reach out and help people break free of certain negative patterns in their lives, so I’ve created Krokpenceee Heals. I am an extremely intuitive and empathetic individual. I will never judge or disclose any of your problems to anyone. I will help you transcend confusion, and self-limiting beliefs so that you can be the best version of yourself. 

🔥 dragula-fireblade Follow

aren't you the krok whose family owns a mander slave

12.4k notes

🍑 youngwizard-official Follow

malistaire's not gonna know what's coming when i hit him with my massive dong

🎃 darkcavelurker Follow

why is this the only post on the young wizard's spiralblr

🧵 stitchbitchly Follow

Probably too busy doing the gangnum style over the corpses they create

[moethh]

dashboard simulator but with saints

⚔ knight--lover Follow

I ASKED FOR ROMANCE BOOKS AND THIS IS WHAT THEY GAVE ME???!?!??? WHAT AM I LOOKING AT????? 💀💀💀

♻️ ⚔ knight--lover Follow

nvm this stuffs good 💀

#like actually??? #gonna keep reading these while my leg is still healing #recovery update

15 notes

🌹 littlefl0wer Follow

cosplay!

♻️ ⚜ born-to-do-this Follow

Oh this is incredible! I love it!

♻️ 🌹 littlefl0wer Follow

oh my goodness?! thank you so much!! ❤️❤️❤️

#wow! i didn't know you would actually see this! #i'm so happy you like it!! #<3 #edit: we're mutuals now!!!

442 notes

🌟 host-prince Follow

EVERYONE‼ Below is a list of users who are ACTUAL DEMONS. PLEASE DO NOT INTERACT WITH THEM. Just block and report. Stay safe everyone.

Keep reading

#I am not going to add trigger or content warnings to this post as I want people to see it. #However #you are obviously free to add them to your own reblogs if you wish to do so.

15,837 notes

🔨 just-a-carpenter Follow

🤔

♻️ 💧 locustman Follow

???? Uncle???????? What is this????? What does this Mean????????

♻️ 🔨 just-a-carpenter Follow

👍

♻️ 💧 locustman Follow

???????????????????????????????????? @'mom? Can you explain? Please????

♻️ 👑 mom Follow

Idk

♻️ 🔨 just-a-carpenter Follow

👍

1,118 notes

⚔ knight--lover Follow

PH M

OH MY GOSH. Ok. Rant incoming.

So there's this guy I'm traveling with and GET THIS: HE DOESN'T BELIEVE IN @/mom's PERPETUAL VIRGINITY?!?!??!?!

I'm thinking of killing him. Like. Actually. I'm not even kidding. I genuinely can't decide whether or not I should kill him.

So you guys should decide:

#rant #my polls #tw antidicomarian #cw antidicomarian #please vote or else i'll just let my horse decide for goodness' sake

216 notes

👑 mom Follow

Alright, someone tagged me on @knight--lover's poll so this is my response to it:

♻️ ⚔ knight--lover Follow

Hm. I'll think about it.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

♻️ 👑 mom Follow

YOUNG MAN.

#Ignatius. Come on.

523 notes

🐭 martin-n-mice Follow

Wow! I've just found a ton of these little guys in a part of the monastery I've never been in before!

♻️ 👤 purrtrude

seems like your monastery needs one of these

♻️ 🐭 martin-n-mice Follow

NO!!

♻️ 👤 purrtrude

what? don't like cats?

♻️ 🐭 martin-n-mice Follow

I LIKE THE MICE!!

♻️ 👤 purrtrude

if you could save all the mice in the world, would you if all the cats starved to death?

♻️ 🐭 martin-n-mice Follow

??? What?????? I am so confused.

Are you implying that cats only eat mice, and if they couldn't, then they would just. Die? What is happening.

♻️ 🕯 claaaaaare Follow

Hey, @fraaaaaancis. Just curious how you would solve this.

♻️ 🐺 fraaaaaancis Follow

Hm. Well, it seems that St. Gertrude's situation is implying that you could only save either all cats or all mice with no survivors on the other side. To me, she is just asking which animal you like more.

There is really nothing to solve? This whole situation is very strange.

♻️ 🐱 gertie-the-kitty Follow

THATS NOT EVEN ME??? WHO IS THAT THAT IS NOT ME

@host-prince @host-prince @host-prince??????

♻️ 🌟 host-prince Follow

purrtrude is definitely Not You.

♻️ 📜 more-of-thomas Follow

OP is this your post?

♻️ 🐭 martin-n-mice Follow

#wghhhhghghhh #i just wanted to show off the mice...... #they're living happily by the way! i bring them food!

374 notes

🎨 luke-the-artpostle Follow

#my art #artists on christblr

1,852,658 notes

🐲 marthamartha Follow

look at this Thing. with that look you would probably think that the man just so happened to crawl in its mouth. what a Creature.

anyways does anyone have a sword

♻️ 🐲 marthamartha Follow

WILL PEOPLE IN THE NOTES STOP TELLING ME TO KEEP IT??? AS IF IT HASN'T KILLED PEOPLE?????

in case anyone forgot, this is a literal DRAGON

♻️ 🐲 marthamartha Follow

@turn-me-over-im-done-on-this-side???????????? what??????????

♻️ 🍳 turn-me-over-im-done-on-this-side Follow

I fail to see what needs explaining. Where did it live?

♻️ 🐲 marthamartha Follow

I-

Ok. It lived in the water.

♻️ 🍳 turn-me-over-im-done-on-this-side Follow

hm. Maybe it would taste like fish?

♻️ 🐲 marthamartha Follow

Maybe. I honestly don't know what the townspeople did with the body. They just asked me for help 🤷‍♀️

♻️ 📜 more-of-thomas Follow

#??????????????? #I am somewhat concerned for you two #(for all of my mutuals actually but as of seeing this post right now I am very concerned for Lawrence especially) #But I shan't say that I'm surprised considering that Lawrence told jokes while he was burning alive #and now that's his username for some reason #As a fellow joke-maker I suppose I admire that? #But as a human being I am concerned

563 notes

[a-b-riddle]

A Simple (Mis) Understanding Chapter One: Location, Location, Location

John

"MacTavish," It had been about three months since the 141 had returned from our last OP. It had been a rough one and, although, we had all come back alive, we didn't come back unscathed. And we all had to thank a pretty little IT 'expert' to thank for that. Stupid fucking Omega...

"Usually I'm the one calling you. To what do I owe the pleasure?" I threw back the amber colored liquor, finishing the last of my latest bottle. It seemed all I had in my free time was drinking myself into an early grave.

Good.

"Care for a hunting trip, Cap'n?" Johnny's tone was playful, which was almost always never a good sign. MacTavish could seek out trouble like a bloody bloodhound. 

"What d'ya have in mind?" I humored. I had come home to a sedentary life style. Any ideals I had about settling down, extinguished. I wasn't as young as I used to be, but I'm still too into the fight to retire now. So whatever Johnny had in mind, surely must be something worth at least entertaining.

"A pretty little flower." He says and I swear I can almost hear the see the smirk on his face. "Stands at about five foot three. Has a knack for stabbing a man in the back right after suckin' 'im dry."

Daisy.

"You got a lead then I take it?" I try to stifle the anger as I feel it beginning to bubble. Every Alpha instinct is telling me to track, hunt, kill. Before, every biological urge I had toward our flower was to protect, keep, and fuck until she forgot her own bloody name. Now, I wasn't so sure I could stand the sight of her long enough to get the answers I wanted-- needed-- before absolutely tearing her to fucking shreds. 

"Aye." He confirmed. "Wanted to see if you were up for it before I called the lads."

"How polite."

"You're still, Cap'n."   "And I know you had more..." There was a shift in his tone. Unease as he tried to find the words, but couldn't. He couldn't. None of us could. Because none of us could describe what had happened with Daisy. Betrayal is too gentle of a word, too short and modest of a word to describe what she had done to us; hell, me. Johnny cleared his throat. Clearly uncomfortable and wanting to retract the beginning of whatever statement he had intended on making.  "Join me to settle an old debt, ye?" 

I didn't need to think twice about Johnny's officer. An opportunity to finish what we started back in Austria. I didn't regret stopping Johnny as much as I did not getting the answers I needed before the little bitch disappeared like a damn thief in the night. Now was the chance. Not only revenge for what we had been through, but the betrayal she had put us through. Jeopardizing not only the 141, but the few loved ones we had. My mum, MacTavish's sisters, Garrick's entire fucking family and the little solace that Simon had. A peace of mind knowing if he wanted to start living again, he could. All of it was almost lost. 

"You got eyes on our-" No. She wasn't ours anymore. Not our girl. Not our flower. Sure as fuck never our Omega. "On her."

"I got an address." If he noticed my pause, he didn't say anything. For that I'm grateful. I can't be weak again because some of doe-eyed little Omega. One who whispered sweet lies about how good my knot felt and all the things she wanted in life. Things we-I- wanted.  "Had an old contact have her name pop up. Hen is too fucking dense to make sure to use an alias especially considering she stayed on our side of the pond."

Don't really plan on going home after this. Not really anything waiting for me back there except some student debt. She had hid the pain of having no family well, but, now after everything, nothing seemed genuine. Every kiss, every touch, every smile and laugh she had thrown my way was now tainted.

Now it was time to bury it all.

"I'll call Garrick." That was all the confirmation Johnny would get out of me. I didn't want to seem too eager to finally get my hands on her. I needed to be collected. Level headed. I was the Alpha. I was the one my team looked to for guidance. I had already failed them once. I damn sure wouldn't be doing it again. "I'll let you convince Riley to come along."

"Lettin' me call in the boogeyman?" Johnny was smiling again. Could fucking hear it in his voice. He was the one who had probably fallen the hardest for the little bitch. Indulging him in soft touches and soothing his temper. Probably the same reason he had put a barrel to her forehead the moment she had admitted to it.

I was going to tell you. She had tried to excuse her delay as if that were the issue. I just didn't know how to tell you. But can you blame me? Yes. We could. And we did. For the shitty last seven months. For the constant worry all of us had for having to pull our mind out of the mission to worry about what was going on back home.

Her tears didn't save her. Only until Laswell came in raising an absolute bloody stink. Claims of how the very audacity to potentially injure an Omega on her team could cost her career. Fuck her career.

"Send me the details." I pulled another bottle off the shelf. Promising myself it would be the last one I had until I finally pulled that weed of a woman out of existence. Killing her meant I could finally move on. Find someone, certainly not a fucking Omega, to settle down with. I could heal from the heartbreak I would never admit to. It would be the ending that we all needed.

"Will do Cap'n." Johnny didn't wait for my dismissal before he hung up. He was just as ready for a hunt as I was.

[qiu-yan]

all of the above are plot elements i've seen be called "plot holes" in various MDZS forums and discussions.

please explain your reasoning in the notes!!!!

explanations / possible fillings for plot holes:

qin su and abortions: one major reason why jin guangyao did not call off his marriage to qin su even after finding out that they were actually half-siblings is that qin su was already pregnant by that point, as the two had had premarital sex. it seems like this problem could be fixed, though, if jin guangyao caused qin su to miscarry somehow (eg. by sneaking abortifacients into her tea).

potential explanations:

abortifacients don't work on cultivators

jin guangyao wanted to respect qin su's bodily autonomy and did not want to cause her pain by causing her to miscarry, but he also could not think of an argument that would convince qin su to willingly get an abortion.

even if the pregnancy disappeared, it was still too late for jin guangyao to call off the marriage.

wen ning agreeing to help with the golden core transfer: at the time of the golden core transfer, wen ning already cares a great deal for wei wuxian - i mean, he betrayed his entire sect by smuggling jiang cheng out of the occupied lotus pier just because wei wuxian, who was nice to him once about his archery, asked him to. meanwhile, wen ning must have known what was actually going on once wei wuxian decided to transfer his golden core to jiang cheng, given that wen ning helped wen qing with the procedure. now, to me, it seems that if you care about someone, you should not allow them to literally give essential parts of themselves away and should instead try to prevent them from acting so self-destructively. to me, it seems that if wen ning really did care about wei wuxian, then he should have stopped wei wuxian from setting himself on fire to keep someone else warm.

possible explanations:

to wen ning, [helping someone do something they're determined to do, even if said thing is self-destructive] is a bigger demonstration of love and care than [imposing your own will over theirs by stopping them from self-destructing].

wei wuxian threatened to kill himself if wen ning and wen qing didn't help him with the golden core transfer.

wen ning legitimately thought that wei wuxian would be fine without his golden core and/or underestimated the negative consequences for wei wuxian, and thus did not perceive this as a self-harming act.

wen ning cared more about getting wei wuxian's approval and keeping wei wuxian happy than he cared about wei wuxian's physical and mental wellbeing.

once wen qing and wei wuxian committed to the golden core transfer, wen ning did not have the courage to speak up against them and/or saw that disagreeing would be useless.

wen ning also wanted to know if his sister's theory would work.

wei wuxian and lying about wen zhuliu getting him: one of the major factors straining jiang cheng and wei wuxian's relationship post-sunshot is that wei wuxian is no longer able to perform many of the second-in-command duties he had promised jiang cheng he would do, but he cannot tell jiang cheng why (ie. because he no longer has a golden core) because he does not want jiang cheng to find out that wei wuxian gave jiang cheng his own golden core. however, it seems like wei wuxian could get around this by telling jiang cheng that wen zhuliu also got wei wuxian later, which is both highly plausible and would explain why wei wuxian doesn't have a golden core anymore without suggesting any sort of transfer.

potential explanations:

wei wuxian didn't want jiang cheng to know at all that he didn't have a golden core anymore.

wei wuxian worried that any hint of "wei wuxian doesn't have a golden core anymore" would eventually lead to jiang cheng figuring out the truth about the golden core transfer.

wei wuxian doesn't want jiang cheng to feel guilty about "stealing" wei wuxian's "chance to meet baoshan sanren and get his core restored."

wei wuxian doesn't want to think about the fact that he no longer has a golden core at all.

wei wuxian didn't think of this. (plausible given wei wuxian's personality)

wen remnants not changing their names and going into hiding: after wei wuxian busts the wen remnants out of the qiongqi pass labor camp, he sets up shop in the yiling burial mounds with himself as their protector; this way, neither the jin nor anyone else can try to harm the wen remnants, because they'd have to go through wei wuxian first. however, what this decision also entails is that all of the wen remnants are now highly associated with wei wuxian; thus, once wei wuxian's reputation goes south enough, all the wen remnants under his protection get dragged down and killed with him. it seems that some of the less high-profile wen remnants (ie. the ones who are not wen ning or wen qing) could have avoided this had they changed their names and gone into hiding, preferably somewhere far away from this part of the jianghu, instead of all sticking together in the highly-visible burial mounds. even if lanling jin and the other sects have a high amount of influence in the local area, there's still an entire world out there; they could have tried fleeing to a different country. even if this option is not possible, at the very least, it should have been discussed and shot down (with an explanation) in the story.

possible explanations:

the burial mounds were under constant surveillance, so there was no chance for the wen remnants to escape without getting caught and killed.

lanling jin's influence is so far-reaching and powerful that there was no way the wen remnants could have fled far enough to go into hiding without getting caught first.

the wen remnants wanted to keep their family name and stick together with their family members.

the option was discussed and dismissed as implausible entirely offscreen.

jiang cheng not hunting down xue yang: the story's narration states that jiang cheng is widely believed to have consistently hunted down, tortured, and killed countless demonic cultivators, specifically because he believes they could be wei wuxian resurrected. meanwhile, xue yang is fairly well known due to his incredibly public massacre of the chang sect and then baixue temple and subsequent employment by lanling jin. furthermore, after xue yang was removed from jinlintai, xue yang set up shop in yi city, where he very openly killed a bunch of people and turned them into fierce corpses; in fact, one could consider the ghost-town status of yi city at the story's start to be due in no small part to xue yang's actions. however, despite xue yang being a very well-known demonic cultivator who has continued to openly demonically-cultivate, nothing in the text suggests that jiang cheng ever tried to hunt down xue yang. this seems to present a contradiction with the rumors about jiang cheng hunting down demonic cultivators.

possible explanations:

jiang cheng already knows that xue yang was not wei wuxian, so he doesn't care about xue yang.

jiang cheng fully believes that jin guangyao successfully killed xue yang upon becoming sect leader jin, and yi city is remote enough that no mention of xue yang's activities has ever reached jiang cheng.

jiang cheng got his ass kicked by xue yang entirely offscreen and it just never came up in the story.

the rumors about jiang cheng hunting down and killing demonic cultivators are not entirely correct.

lan wangji freely ditching lan xichen at the end of the story: the story ends with lan xichen basically getting put into the blender. first he finds out that his bestie jin guangyao actually orchestrated the death of nie mingjue and super lied about it, and then he's tricked by nie huaisang into stabbing jin guangyao. he's not doing too great. yet, at the end of the guanyin temple scene, instead of checking on his brother or even offering a single "are you okay?", lan wangji immediately fucks off into the sunset with wei wuxian. given that lan xichen was relatively supportive of lan wangji during lan wangji's 13 years of mourning, to many on this website, this reads as a failure of familial duties that lan wangji goes entirely uncriticized for by the narrative.

possible explanations:

it was an intentional writing decision and not a plot hole. MXTX thinks that, because lan xichen failed to see through jin guangyao's lies, lan xichen therefore deserves to suffer, so lan wangji is morally justified in ding dong ditching him.

lan wangji did screw up here, but it's an internally-consistent writing decision, not a plot hole. lan wangji is meant to read as a younger brother character who is more used to being taken care of than taking care of others.

no lube: at the end of the story, wei wuxian and lan wangji fuck nasty in some bushes. without any lube. the lack of some sort of lubricant, at least, doesn't seem to cause any problems with the anal sex itself.

possible explanations:

cultivator's asses are self-lubricating, or at the very least repair damage at an incredibly high speed.

the sex actually is quite painful, but wei wuxian was a virgin up until now so he just thinks this is normal.

the sex actually is quite painful, but wei wuxian is into it.

there was lube op just forgot (plausible because i only skimmed that section)

almost every sect leader unmarried: in this sort of setting, where blood and not ability determines inheritance, it seems like producing heirs and thus securing the future of the sect/clan should be of the highest importance. however, nie mingjue, lan xichen, jiang cheng, and later nie huaisang are all unmarried, and don't seem to have any heirs either. this goes doubly for the nie sect, who know themselves that they live shorter lives due to their cultivation style.

potential explanations:

cultivators live a really long time so it's not as pressing an issue.

there are wives and heirs, they are just offscreen.

gonna be real boss i got nothing else

[unproduciblesmackdown]

ouahhhh 😭

wait a second. hand on wall. on floor.

So unless you're having this read to you from the bad side of a Ouija board, you made it out the other end of issue seven's historically-speaking-pretty-short seven year delay alive. Which isn't too bad. And, honestly, we can think of another, much more popular project we're involved with that you're STILL waiting on: The Sagrada Familia in Barcelona, which began construction in 1886 and still isn't done, and which the Spanish government hired us to write a delay-themed blog post about after seeing an early draft of the blog post you're reading right now.

several weeks late b/c i had no idea it existed....i Didn't suppose i'd make it out of the then-indefinite now 7-yr-delay on the next tf2 comic alive which isn't too bad 😭

[wangxianficfinder]

Fic Finder

Oct 16th

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1. Hello! I would like to reread a story but forgot the title. It’s a fix-it I think lan zhan was thrown back in time in CR study arc and wei ying saw it because there’s a light and he hear a shout then Lan Zhan was unconscious. Thank you so much

FOUND? in a dream, i was home by thelastdboy (M, 25k, WangXian, POV LWJ, Canon Divergence, Post-First Siege of the Burial Mounds, Time Travel Fix-It, Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, Different First Meeting, Getting Together, Friends to Lovers, Sentient Burial Mounds, CSSR and WCZ Live, Families of Choice, Protective LWJ, Everybody Lives, Temporary Character Death, Grief/Mourning, Cloud Recesses Shenanigans, WWX Leaves the Yunmeng Jiang Sect, Golden Core Reveal, Fluff, Developing Relationship, Wen Remnants Live, WQ Lives, WN Lives, No Sunshot Campaign, BAMF WWX)

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2. Hi I saw someone ask this here but never saw the fic. I'm looking for a fic, It's where lwj leave the sect gives money and valuables to the wen remnants and lxc ask for rabbit as some kind of compensation. Op said some girls were braiding lwj hair by the end being vain and lan sect saw this. Thank you so much I hope you help me

FOUND?🔒Unpack Your Heart by Terri Botta (Isilwath) (T, 22k, wangxian, Romance, Everybody Lives, Canon Divergence, LWJ Has Feelings, Protective LWJ, Burial Mounds Settlement Days, LWJ Stays at the Burial Mounds, Burial Mounds Ensemble as Family, Wangxian in Love, YLLZ WWX, Lan Clan Elders are Assholes, Minor Transgender Character, Qiongqi Path Divergence, LWJ loves his bunnies)

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3. hi there!!! this is for the next fic finder. i am looking for a twt threadfic which had wwx and lwj as academic rivals. i really don't remember much of it except there was a moment where lwj says smth really mean to wwx after he got lesser marks than him, and wwx starts crying a bit (???) and lwj is like Oh No What Have I Done. that was the last update that i read and idek if there's more or not. can anyone help?

thank you everyone!!

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4. I am trying to find a Fic where Lan Zhan goes to Lotus Pier to ruin them for being rejected. He learns that Wei Ying never rejected him but Madum Yu did. She is punished and Lan zhan asks Jiang Yanli permission to marry Wei ying.

FOUND? Warrior Prince by QteCuttlfish (M, 3k, WangXian, Threats of Rape/Non-Con Angst with a Happy Ending, Omega Verse, Omega WWX, Alpha LWJ, Implied Mpreg, Not Canon Compliant)

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5. Hi! I’m looking for this modern college E fic where WWX is like a tatted punk and he overhears that LWJ is basically a sex god who didn’t do seconds. He hears that LWJ is into a guy in his department with last name Wei and confronts him. They bone and he sees that LWJ has a nip piercing and a tattoo that WWX designed a while ago tysmia

FOUND? So I love you because I know no other way than this by Trueredhearts (E, 20k, WangXian, Modern AU, CSSR and WCZ Live, College/University, Tattoos, Nipple Piercings, Genital Piercing, Law Student!LWJ, Engineering Student!WWX, Childhood Friends, Explicit Sexual Content, Graduate School)

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6. Hi 👋 a ff where lan Zhan give wei Ying name wei Wuxian. Wei Ying lock BS in her mountain. Wei Ying Sect leader. BM all clear. JC lock his parents. Save XY . Wei Ying make JGY Sect leader of jin . Yiling best city. Control world . Slap Tham in there language. @richie-234

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7. Hello I'm looking for a fic where wwx is a god, a prince to be exact. He meets lwj while visiting. I think they get betrothed but lwj does not know his real identity. I think by the end wwx and his entire family came down an while they were in line he was waving at lwj.

FOUND? cloudy autumn heaps the sky by anatheme (T, 23k, WangXian, Fantasy, Universe Alteration, Secret Identity, Dragon LWJ, Fox WWX, Strangers to Friends to Lovers, Timeline What Timeline, wwx is a little older here, wwx piling gifts on lwj and encouraging hoarding tendencies, Sharing a Bed, Literal Sleeping Together, Arranged Marriage)

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8. Fic finder plz!

LQR owns a cat cafe and LWJ and LXC are like very pretty ragdoll cats and WWX is this gremlin sphinx cat that eventually wins over LWJ.

LQR isn’t happy about this though and has JC keep WWX locked up so he can’t come and bother LWJ but it all ends happy. I’ve tried searching cat LWJ and cat WWX and nothing comes up. Help! 😭😭

FOUND! allopatry by Anonymous (T, 4k, WangXian, Modern AU, Cats, not in a catboy sense they're actual cats, wwx's propensity for annoying lqr transcends species, codependent cats as a catalyst for, lqr + jiang sibs friendship) I searched cat Cafe 🐈 😻

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9. Hi! I'm looking for a fic similar to one I read called play fighting where Lan Qiren had adopted Wei Wuxian and they grew up together. Or like where Wei Ying ends up growing up in the Lan sect and he and Lan Zhan are like childhood friends or super close growing up.

FOUND? 藍色的花，紅色的蘭 {Lan se de hua, hongse de lan} by Admiranda, AshayaTReldai (M, 45k, WIP, WangXian, Orphan WWX, Friends to Lovers, Childhood Friends, wwx raised in the lan clan, softer lqr, Good Uncle LQR, Good lan clan, Good Older Sibling LXC)

FOUND? 🔒 Life is Like a Stranger by through_shadows_falling (T, 69k, wangxian, Kid Fic, Child LWJ, Child WWX, First Meetings, Canon Divergence, Cute Kids, Orphan WWX, Autism Spectrum, Fix-It, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Alternate Canon, POV LWJ, Growing Up Together, WWX raised at Cloud Recesses, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Puberty, Growing Up, Coming Out, teenage angst, Wet Dream, Pining, This fic gets a little raunchier as the kids become teens, But it won’t get too explicit, Slow Burn, Friends to Lovers, Spanish Translation, Brief mentions/moments of WWX kissing others in chapter 22 but only on the cheek, also characters kiss WWX on the cheek in chapter 23, but his real first kiss is with LWJ, Перевод на русский | Translation in Russian)

FOUND? 🧡 All will be well when the day is done by abCEE (T, 76k, WangXIan, Canon Divergence, Fix It, Not Jiang Family Friendly, JFM & YZY Bashing, Fix it for our main characters, Time Travel, Butterfly Effect, Madam Lan Lives, No Sunshot Campaign, Artistic License, Unreliable Narrator, JC Bashing, non-yunmeng WWX, Accidental Baby Acquisition, Good Uncle LQR, OOC, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, WWX gets the love and care that he deserves from the very beginning, WWX Isn’t Adopted by the Jiangs, verbal and physical (c/o Zidian) abuse from YZY)

FOUND? safe here with me by xcourtney_chaoticx (G, 3k, WangXian, Family Feels, Good Uncle LQR, WWX Goes to Gusu, Fluff, Childhood Friends, Friends to Lovers, Food Issues, Endgame WangXian)

FOUND? soft-hearted by sarahyyy (G, 6k, wangxian, alternate universe, childhood friends, hurt/comfort, getting together, first kiss, wedding fluff)

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10. Hello! I'm looking for this wangxian fic I don't remember the name, but it's based on a song by Olivia Rodrigo, there is no happy ending between wangxian 💔

FOUND?🔒 drivers license by AG1234VL (T, 11k, WangXian, WangMian, WWX/Other, Breakup, Hurt No Comfort, slight comfort, Non-Chronological, Song fic, Crying WWX, Driving, breakup weight gain, Lots of Crying, Angst, Modern AU, Homophobia, from lqr, wangxian breakup)

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11. Hi, I'm looking for a fic i read some time ago but i can't seem to find. Basically the great sects had isolated themselves for sometime and WRH still tried to burn CR but the Lan won that war , alone i think, and like they demanded a war prize/hostage/concubine? and YMJ with the other twos support , i think, sent WWX for the Lan's leader LWJ who was surprised by WWX's very feminine and very much marriage robes. So the Jiang and the Jin and the Nie got it wrong but LWJ lets him stay, I think it's been a while and they fall in love for real and LWJ reveals that his brother has been in a coma for some time. Anyway WX went to the Crowd hunt the Jin are trowing and YZY got very angry at like WWX being at her level socially, the spouse of a sect leader and then WX went home and LXC woke up and that's all i know because the fic had like 26/28/20 something chapters in total and it was a WIP and only one or two chpaters left till it was done. I don't know if it is still a WIP. @secretartquotes

FOUND? golden when the day met the night by glitteringmoonlight (Not rated, 95k, slow burn, sugar daddy LWJ, light, angst, fluff, developing relationship, eventual smut, WIP)

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12. Hello, thank you for your page.English is not my first language, so I'm using a translator .Wei Ying is a web novel writer, from a fairly prestigious academy. The web novel he writes is quite popular. He was hired for a reality TV show/music competition as a translator. In the end, he also ends up as a contestant because there are not enough competitors. Every week he tells the public to eliminate him because he's just there as filler. Lan Zhan, I think he's a music coach in the reality TV show @lilassoleil

FOUND! 🧡 I Don't Want to Debut! by countingcr0ws (G, 56k, WangXian, Modern AU, Reality show, Idols, Actor LWJ, Forced Contestant WWX, Tencent's 2021 Idol Producer)

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13. Hello! First, I really love the work you do. I'm looking for a fic I read and can't find it anymore. So it's Modern AU, set in high school. Wei Ying is a cheerleader who likes wearing skirts and Lan Zhan is athletic. They didn't like eachother if I'm not wrong but had a contractual relationship like fake dating(I think). The fic had beautiful fan art and in one of them Wei Ying wore a crop top and a cheerleader skirt. Thank you in advance. @mamaladeskies

FOUND! drop the game by martyrsdaughter (E, 28k, wangxian, modern, romantic comedy, fake/pretend relationship, sports, cheerleaders, flirting, sexual tension, dom/sub undertones, compulsory heterosexuality, crossdressing, dub con, under-negotiated kink, consensual non-con)

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14. The fic has Jiang Cheng preserving Wei Wuxian and Jiang Yanli's body, a magical plant and coffin used. this was a oneshot on ao3. but Wei Wuxian definitely had and older sibling vibe when he got suspicious on what Jiang Cheng was doing. @eclipse-summer

I remember some more details, it was a two-shot, and the magical plant was a mushroom.

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15. Hey, kinda a weird req, but I’m trying to find this wangxian fic where WW pretty much manages to get a dildo stick in his butt, and then he an LW have to go to the hospital to get it removed. Think it was modern au. Tysm for the help!

FOUND? can you feel it by lanzhancore (E, 5k, WangXian, Modern AU, Awkward Sexual Situations, Established Relationship, Hospitals, Slice of Life, Fluff and Humor, Idiot Lovers, Crack Treated Seriously)

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16. Hiii, for the next fic finder, there was a wei ying/lan zhan fic where they had a relationship around shibari + bondage and nhs tricked wy into walking right up to lz at a party and asking him to tie him up - it turned out that lz had always been super exclusive he had just been pining for wy from afar and agreed to do it and the rest is beautifully written, emotionally literate history. I read it about 17 thousand times but didn't bookmark or download it like a fool!! If its been deleted, does anyone know if the author is fine with people privately sharing? @lockandkeay

FOUND! Ember burning low by wanderingflame (E, 62k, WangXian, LXC/NMJ, BDSM, Dominant LWJ, Submissive WWX, Bottom LWJ, Kink Negotiation, Kink Exploration, Sensation Play, Kneeling, Rope Bondage, Aftercare, Non-Sexual D/s scenes, Non-Sexual Submission, Oral Sex, Anal Sex, Public Scene (Non-Sexual), Minor Retrograde Amnesia, safe words, Use of Safe Words, JC is not the most understanding when it comes to BDSM, Orgasm Delay, Porn with Feelings)

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17. Hi!! Hoping that you can help me coz I’m really desperate rn 🥹🤧. I’m looking for a Xichen x Jiang Cheng fanfic where they had a daughter but lxc didn’t know cos he was in seclusion after the death of meng yao and when he got out of seclusion he help this little girl on the streets and the girl brought him to lotus pier to thank him and that’s when he found out the girl was Jiang Chengs daughter. 🥹 I’ve been looking for this everywhere but I can’t find it, please help me 😭🙏. Thank youuu @zosansss-blog

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18. Hiiiii! I hope you all are well! Boy it’s been a long time since I was here. I finally learned how to bookmark so I was not losing track *that* much, but today I was bored and tried to channel my inner MY/JGY and read at work. (Without logging to my account because i don’t want to give my co-workers another reason to think I am crazy).

But back to reason, i need your help lovelies. I am looking for a fic. LQR can read music and he bumped into NMJ and he heard the Turmoil song. He thinks LXC is poisoning him so he goes and ask WWX for help and basically it was a major Canon Divergence. That is where i had to close the tab. I would really appreciate all the help. THANK YOU!!

FOUND? Polyphonic by nirejseki (Not Rated, 14k, NMJ/LXC, WangXian, LXC & LQR & LWJ, WIP, odd abilities, Family Drama, Investigations)

~*~

19. Hi! I'm looking for a fic where the best way I can describe it is WWX has a magic sex toy that is keyed into his own body which LWJ then confiscates and later uses not knowing it's keyed to WWX. I believe it's during the CR arc but not sure how the fic was tagged so haven't been able to pull it up and I don't remember much beyond that. Thanks for all you do!

FOUND? 🔒 The Golden Cutsleeve by syrus_jones (E, 77k, WangXian, Crack Treated Seriously, Fluff and Crack, Humor, Aged-Up Character(s), WWX POV, WWX is a gremlin, Internally Screaming LWJ, No Sunshot Campaign, First Times, Accidental Sex, Masturbation, PWP, Porn with Feelings, WWX experimenting with things he shouldn’t like always, Happy Ending, Porn With Plot)

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20. Hi! Thank you for your hard work! I'm looking for 2 fics today, but I really want to find the first one. A) It's arranged marriage fic, LWJ is some sort of royalty. After the wedding (I think?) WWX is sent to live in a separate palace (?) He and the Wens (I can't remember why they're there) start a farm to make money (and have food?) to fix up the palace which I think was in some state of disrepair. Eventually he LWJ notices and starts to send gifts and such. I feel like there's something about a dragonfruit? But maybe that's a different fic?

B) The second one I'm looking for is a modern mob au, wwx asks lwj to watch a plant and then disappears for a year, or something like that. I'm sure I probably found it on here, but I must be overlooking it @iluvshikamaru

Hi! 20a is definitely sowing seeds in the cold palace! Thank you so much, it was driving me crazy!

20b is not lightning in a bottle, but it was a delight to read so ty for the suggestion! I seem to remember that jc shows up to kidnap lz at some point, and that lz was also part of the mob/mafia but has retired from it?

20A)

NOT FOUND! The Legend of Moonflower by JJSIN2020 (E, 135k, wangxian, 3zun, A/B/O, Emperor LWJ, LWJ FUCKS, he has a whole harem of male omegas so of course he does, Alpha LWJ, Omega WWX, Beta LXC, Omega JC, Omega XY, Omega XXC, omega SS, Omega OYZZ, Beta NHS, Mpreg, Wolves, Angst with a Happy Ending, Imperial China, Character Death, Fighting, Blood)

FOUND! 我的皇后是農民 | sowing seeds in the cold palace by sweetlolixo (E, 84k, WangXian, Imperial Palace, Emperor LWJ, Imperial Consort WWX, Farmer WWX, Angst, Romance, Wingman LJY, Wife-chasing-LWJ, Arranged Marriage, Best Boy A-Yuan)

20B)

NOT FOUND! lightning in a bottle by bigbabyjeno (E, 10k, WangXian, Modern AU, Photographer LWJ, Wedding Crasher WWX, Erotic Palm Reading, Fluff and Smut) fun fact I remembered the fic and that it was a ficus plant and the fic came up when I searched ficus 🤣

FOUND! See What I've Become by Vamillepudding (T, 24k, WangXian, Mob, YLLZ WWX, Hurt/Comfort, LWJ Needs a Hug, Sickfic, Protective WWX)

~*~

[daydreamer-in-training]

✨OP Advent Calendar Masterlist ✨

Door 23 - Under the Misteltoe Part 2

Eustass Kid x afab!reader

Word Count: 2.200+

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 (nsfw)

As in the previous one, Kid is an Idiot that can't deal with his feelings at first, which leads to him hurting your this time. You two talk and your emotions finally bubble over.

Themes: Hurt and comfort, softness, confession of feelings, NSFW 18+, afab!Reader, hot makeout sesh, vaginal fingering. Missrepräsentation of Kids devil fruit abilities and bad scottish accents 😔

Notes: The three other commanders are the secret heroes here! 😤I didn't plan it to be two parts, but i take it! Wrote and edited this while preparing for Christmas yesterday and after I was full with good food. I wanted to finish this entry in time, as a Christmas present to all of you! ❤️✨ Uploading this now before i think to much about it again. Also its ma first nsfw story and my first story with several parts, yay!

I wish y’all a happy time with your loved ones! Love you! ❤️✨

Please Note that Englisch is not my first languages ✨ Not beta read, I die like the Christmas Ornament our dog broke yesterday! But maybe I will edit it tomorrow.

Advent Calendar Taglist: @jintaka-hane @stuckinmymind22 @chibinasuu @armiliadawn @pandora-writes-one-piece @eustasscapitankid

This part is 18+ at the End, please proceed with caution

The three commanders knew straight away that Kid must have messed things up with you last night on the night watch. Unfortunately, there wasn't much time to set something else up for you two before the Christmas party tonight, especially with you avoiding each other. Fortunately, Killer had managed to talk to you before it started, to know what had happened the night before.

The atmosphere between you and the Capitain has been strange since yesterday. Of course, everyone had already noticed, but nobody said anything. Kid looked like a ticking time bomb all day, he also avoided you and you avoided him in return.

By now the party was in full swing, the eggnog and rum had already flowed freely. But neither you nor Kid touched the alcohol. You were too nervous to Drink after yesterday. It was time for the traditional gift exchange. Everyone gave each other a little something, which was custom at the Viktoriapunk. It was a wild mess as everyone tried to get rid of their presents and get one in return. You had knitted Kid a scarf because he often complained about the cold weather and wanted to give it to him despite everything. Killer had also encouraged you this afternoon, despite everything that had happened.

It was difficult to catch him in all the commotion, but Wire inconspicuously stood in your captain's way so that you were standing in front of him after all. "Captain! Here, this is for you!" Being able to give him the present you made yourself made you very happy. You pressed the lovingly wrapped Box into his hand, but he looked to the side. You couldn't read his expression. "Thank you. I haven't got a present for ya, I guess I forgot." He replied quickly without looking at you.

Ouch, that hurt. But on the outside, you don't let it show. Instead, you smiled warmly at him. "It's no big deal, you have so much to do as captain, stuff like that happens." You replied quickly. To flee this Situation and forget about it, you quickly turned to Bubblegum, with whom you exchanged your gift and an exuberant hug.

Wire had heard all of this and did not believe it at all, you were being to kind and brave about all of this. He decided to keep an eye on you and maybe try to talk to Kid later as well.

After all the presents had been exchanged, the party continued as usual. You tried to be cheerful and enjoy it, but you found it harder and harder to push aside your feelings of sadness and heartbreak. At a moment when you thought you were unnoticed, you disappeared out of the door with a pained expression on your face.

But Killer and Heat saw you do it. Kid's action from earlier hadn't passed them by thanks to Wire. So after exchanging glances, they roughly pulled the captain aside to talk some sense into him.

You tried to push the tears down, that were swelling up in your eyes, as you walked down the hallway towards your sleeping quarters. It didn't quite work.

This morning, Killer obviously noticed the weird vibes between you and Kid and pulled you aside to ask what had happened. “I’m just so confused about this… maybe I’ve made a mistake with Kissing him under the Mistletoe...” you murmured as you wiped a tear away from your cheeks after you explained what had happened the previous night. “I just hope this will pass”. You wanted things to be as before. You started trembling, so Killer pulled you to his broad chest and slid his strong arms around you. He gently rocked you from side to side. “Hey Sweets… No crying on Christmas-Eve, okay?” His voice was gentle through the mask. “You did nothin’ wrong, he is just a fucking Idiot and his emotional capacity is that of a Seaurchin”. His comment made you giggled into his Christmas sweater between sobs. The embrace of the muscular softie always had a calming effect on you. “He cares ‘bout you, I promise. Kid just needs some time to realize things.” The first Mate mused, as he noticed you had calmed down a bit. After a long moment you separated from him with a sniffle and smiled up at him. “Thank you, Killer. I will not give up just yet!”. The first Mate crossed his Arms and nodded proudly.

Maybe Killer was wrong when he said Kid cared? No, that made no sense to you. You trusted Kid as your Captain and he does care about his crew. But maybe he didn't care about you in that special way you wished he would. You sobbed when this thought hit you.

When you heard footsteps approaching from down the hallway, you immediately hid behind the next door you could find. You didn't want anyone to see you upset over a stupid present. As you wiped away your tears, you realized you were standing in Kid’s Workshop. You scoffed a bit at this dumb coincidence. You turned around to leafe, listening if the footsteps had subsided.

But in that moment no other than Captain Eustass Kid pulled the door open and froze for a moment when he finally found you, then closed it behind him. “There ya are!”, he seemed tense. “Oh, hello Captain.” You turned your head away from him, embarrassed that it was him to find you hiding away with puffy eyes from crying.

As you didn't say anything else, he stood there in front of you, not finding the words he desperately wanted to tell you. “I’m sorry about earlier,” he finally said. You still didn't look at him, afraid your emotions would take the better of you. “Please look at me, will ya?”, he added as he gently took your hand in his and brushed a thumb along the back of your hand. His gentle touch made you look up at him. Your heart ached.

Kids amber eyes were soft as he gazed into yours, a tired laughter passend his lips. “I lied about the gift… I made ya something. I don' know what I was thinkin’ back then”. Kid raised his metal arm as small blue lightning started to surround it.

You watched in quiet disbelief as a little metal figurine flew towards you. He caught it in the air and softly placed it into your hand he was still holding. Your heart was pounding in your chest. “I guess I got cold feet or somthin’. Thinking ya woun't want it anyways after yesterday…“.

He watched your eyes well up again as you inspected the little star shaped memento he had handcrafted for you. Your fingers traced the metal slowly. “It's beautiful Kid…thank you.” your voice was a trembling whisper, but you smiled that kind smile of your, that he loved so much.

“I hate seeing ya cry” he blurted out after a moment of silence, in which you continued to look at the figure and thought about what you wanted to say now. “I never meant to hurt you either!”, his face contorted as he said that. Damn it that was hard to say, but he can't lose you.

“Then…what was that yesterday?” You wanted to sound stern and indifferent. But that wasn't you. Your voice was quiet and trembled as you asked him, afraid what his answer might be.

He instinctively took a step towards you, invading your space as he did so. Carefully he watched your reactions to it, and as you didn't step away, he lifted your chin up. Your eyes fluttered at his touch.

Kids eyes darted between yours and he took a deep breath before saying what he did next. “I wanted to protect ya, Sweets… didn' want ya doing anything you might regret later”, you scoffed at that, but he continued talking, holding back a grin at your feistiness “I’m ya Captain, I don't kno’ If ya only doin' it because I want to”.

You rolled your eyes in annoyance at his way of thinking and shoved him against the shoulder, which didn't really have any effect given his size and your strength. “We are Pirates, Kid! I AM a Piraten! Fuck these stupid arbitrary rules” Your eyebrows met in the centre of your forehead, more out of disbelief than anger. Sighing, you put your hand on his chest, shake your head as you gave up your attempt to be angry. “Why would I kiss you If I wasn't-” you swallowed your next words, instead saying something else. “I am my own person! I decide who I want to kiss myself”.

Kids' heart was hammering against his ribcage. He took your hand from its place on his chest and brought it close to his lips. “If you weren’t what?” he lifted his eyebrow smugly, challenging you to say it. He needed to hear you say it.

A defeated sigh left your lips, this man made you weak “If I wasn't completely convinced that I like you and trust you completely.” your face went hot at your confession, but your eyes never left his.

A rough laughter tumblerd over his lips before he pressed them to your hand. His metal arm pulled you close and you let yourself fall against his chest. Your eyes searched his face as he leaned down close to you. “I was scared ya reject me…” he whispered, his arm gliding up your back made you shiver. “Ya make me crazy” he leaned his forehead to yours as he closed his eyes, yours falling shut as well “ya make my heart soar when ya smile at me”.

You turned your head to brush your lips gently against his. “I want ya close ta me, always”, he whispered. At his words, you took his face in your hands and pressed your lips firmly against his. He immediately returned this in an initially cautious kiss, which very quickly gave way to his passion and became more heated.

He lifted you up easily and you slung your legs around him. A soft moan slipped past your lips as his tough started exploring your mouth. He carried you to his workbench, where he set you down without interrupting the kiss.

His warm hand roaming your body, pulling at the fabric of your clothes while you got rid of his harness and shirt. Finally you were able to let your hands glide over his muscular chest and abs. You broke the kiss, out of breath from the passionate kiss to take him in. He was breathtaking. As his eyes took you in hungrily, he slid his hands under your shirt, looking at you questioningly. You nodded and lifted your arms to help him take it off. He breathed out a soft Oh, as he saw your exposed chest for the first time, as you didn't wear a bra underneath. It made you giggle softly.

“Are ya sure ya want this?” your captain asked in a hoarse wisper. His fingers were tracing the exposed skin on your side , itching to go higher. You placed your hands on either side of his face and placed your lips on his nose bridge with a smile. “I am sure, Kid. I want you with me, and on me,” your lips glide down to his lips “and inside me.” you whispered into a hungry kiss. The bold confession made you blush and unleashed a hunger in Kid. His right hand cupped your chest and massaged it gently. In turn, you arched your back, moaning for more into his mouth.

Done with patience, Kid let go of your breasts and ripped your pants off quickly. With a soft tuck on your lips, he let them go to watch, as he pulled down your underwear. Your wetness has made it through the fabric, it left a thin connection to your skin as he pulled it away. “Fuck”, He breathed out, his eyes almost gleaming with lust. “So wet, so beautiful…” he mused as he gently started to toy with your folds, making you shiver. “and all for me?”. You mewled, as he teased you, biting your lips. “Yes Kid…all for you” you said, with that soft smile that made him crazy.

He inserted one finger into your entrance, earning him a whimper from you, and then quickly a second one. He watched you closely as he started pumping in and out and rubbing inside you to figure out the best way to make you feel good. Your desperate moans and mewls stroked his fire.

Kid growled, his hard cock pressing uncomfortably against the inside of his pants. You rubbed him through the fabric at first, now opening the zipper to pull him out. Your nimble fingers where circling his cockhead. He moaned against the skin of your neck, biting and kissing the soft flesh to leave marks there. “Shouldn't have said that, Love”, his low voice gave you goosebumps. “I will make you mine”.

.

[kiefbowl]

I was reading an opinion piece on Kate Middleton's cancer diagnosis on CNN by Jamal Baig about the increasing rates of cancer in patients under 50. As far as 5 minutes of googling and JSTORing can lend me to believe, there's nothing illegitimate about Dr. Baig. However, I found this bit in his opinion interesting:

Now, I'm always dubious when reading anything that attributes a very broad generalized idea that changes in diets have caused an increased in cancer, because more often than not it's not pointing to an exploration of, say, increased pesticide use, but the author's personal bias against the quote unquote "unhealthy", especially those who are deemed "fat" by the medical industry.

That being said, I was curious what source he linked, half expecting it to lead to just another op-ed from some other doctor from who knows when, but I was pleasantly surprised! Written by a man named Michael Donaldson, it was an evidentiary review published in a scientific journal called "Nutrition and cancer: A review of the evidence for an anti-cancer diet."

Now I wasn't going to give the whole thing a read, but I stopped in each section, gave a quick skim to get a general vibe, moved on to the next section, etc. I was immediately suspicious that the very first line in the abstract was "It has been estimated that 30–40 percent of all cancers can be prevented by lifestyle and dietary measures alone" as that seems to be a bananas statistic to just posit, but it still had the air of scientific integrity, so I did my skim.

The first handful of sections had things that gave me some moments of pause, that this article was in fact another doctor simply cherry picking data to confirm his own biases, but nothing so egregious as to do a spit take. That comes in a few minutes. The first section that made really go hold the phone was when we got to his Flax Seed section.

Compare how he writes about Red Meat...:

(that's all he wrote, btw)

...with how he starts writing about Flax Seed:

Did I just enter a Flax Seed commercial? Does this guy work for BIG FLAX SEED? on and on he writes about Flax Seed, and I start getting a sense that perhaps this man has a Flax Seed Agenda. In any case, he eventually moves on and I quickly skim to get to the end (because it's boring among other things).

So, who exactly is Michael Donaldson?

Girl are you kidding me

The Hallelujah Acres Foundation is a FOR PROFIT company that sells a """biblical""" based diet program called the hallelujah diet and also sells supplements on said site.

Now, in case you forgot where I started with this, this was the link provided as a "source" to a legitimate doctor's claim in an op-ed about cancer that "at least part of the answer" of why cancer is increasing in under 50 patients are the "changes to nutrition and lifestyle that took hold in middle of the last century." Dr. Baig did not read this article, or if he did was not concerned that it was written by the employee of a company that profits from unscientific research it uses to sell supplements and diets. Which is worse, I don't know.

The point I'm making is that you absolutely need to be vigilant all the time. You need to understand that doctors can not only have biases, but agendas. Researchers can have biases and agendas. Scientists can have biases and agendas. And that magical thinking about real health issues that can affect your future can permeate the scientific community because weirdos write convincing enough evidence that support their already determined world view.

This kind of shit is the reason why women go into doctor offices complaining about pain in their abdomen and get told to go lose weight and come back in 6 months. This is why ideas like moralizing eating have huge effects on women's health and influence medical misogyny, and why it's a feminist issue.

[hyp3rfixation-h3ll]

ok im writing this After the rant i posted in the tags but to add on to your post. If she hated the Lost Bots, especially Burgertron, WHY would she invite them 2 Bot Prom in the first place? If the writers WANTED HER to be a villain character or toxic they wouldn't have written her as a morally grey/complicated character!!! They'd have partnered her with Spud even! She did that out of a kind gesture because they did something nice-- she even said it herself! If Bot Prom hadn't been sabotaged, The LBs would've been welcomed happily back into Bot-ciety and Spud, being a jealous hoebag (/lh), decided to play villain because he didn't want Burgertron to get the limelight back on him. She ultimately had NOTHING to do with what was going on with her two friends, she just got caught in the middle of it. and as harsh as it sounds, she's not obligated to defend anybody-- She is her own person, and as such can be influenced to think one way or the other! She is not immune to emotional and mental manipulation!! And I'm 1000% inclined to believe she was being manipulated FROM THE GET-GO. in conclusion, your honor, my client is being SLANDERED by the FANBASE and she has DEPTH to her that EVERYONE SLEEPS ON because they don't like MORALLY COMPLICATED CHARACTERS!!!! [EXPLOSION SFX

"Ulf is toxic!"

Listen... I get it... but hear me out; I think Spud Muffin had something to do with it.

Spud literally called her "Babe" in "I, Cheeseburger" implying he might have a crush on her. You could make the argument that he could be the kind of person who calls everyone "babe" but he never does this with any other character.

So who's not to say Spud was feeding Ulf (and the Hunger Hubs as a whole) all kinds of lies about Burgertron trying to get her to hate him?

She trusts Spud, everyone does. Why would anyone assume Spud would intentionally sabotage his "best friend"? Much less frame them for murder? Or ruin what everyone--even supposedly Spud himself--calls the most important night of their lives?

He also got angry in the Bot Prom episode when Ulf proposed the idea of bringing him back on the squad, and sabotaged him. He probably did other things behind the scenes or spread other lies (especially since it would be easy for a "Best Friend" to say "He said X, he would've wanted Y") off screen.

If the bot he loves the most wouldn't want him back, why would Burgertron have a reason to want to be back?

Which was what Spud wanted. He wanted him out of the Hunger Hubs, so he could be leader. What better way to do that than to turn the person you love most against you?

"You just kept. Coming. Back." So clearly, Spud could've made uses of other ways to keep Burgertron out. Being the new leader, the Hunger Hubs listened to him, and why on earth would you not trust someone who used to be your leader's best friend? Nobody expected him to break the Sacred Rule of The Mall either--Spud probably had more tricks up his sleeve to keep Burgertron lost.

By no means does it justify how Ulf acted at times, but clearly she still loves him and was heartbroken when learn exactly how deep Spud's resentment goes.

"He's going to be a lost bot forever! All of you are!" Everyone has said something fucked up to someone they loved out of anger, or held anger to people they genuinely loved and then realized later they shouldn't have snapped. It's really a natural response, especially considering it probably wasn't just that instance she was angry about--but every other time the Lost Bots "messed things up" (either because it was or wasn't their fault) as well as Spud probably feeding her lies behind the scene. Even if she didn't believe them, this could've looked like a justification that Spud was right.

Not only that, but everyone has periods in their life where they act toxic or hold toxic beliefs, especially if it's because someone else convinced you to think that way. Usually it's only when that person is removed from the equation and the answers really start coming out. As the saying goes, hindsight is 20/20.

How many times have you failed to realize you acted shamefully, or that this person or that person was a lying scumbag, only to realize the red flags were everywhere after everything was done?

Also keep in mind; Burgertron was an egotist. He clearly cared about little more than his status and being the "Cool Guy". These types of people hang out with people who care about their status just as much. The difference? We watched Burgertron grow and change. Ulf did not get this treatment because she didn't have to.

So, I'm willing to bet in season 2, since clearly the other squads now accept the Lost Bots as a recognized squad, some will also start fully realizing how shitty they were acting. Burgertron did! And the others started to accept the other Lost Bots in their intended squads, and they're clearly open to Spud redeeming himself through hard work.

Which means, Ulf probably will too.

And honestly, that would make them a really great ship imo

[iridescent-flowers]

Con La Brisa (Leviathan x GN!Reader)

Leviathan x Reader

Tags: Romantic fluff, takes place on the beach and in water

Word Count: 2,849

Summary:

With the new skill you recently mastered, you plan to surprise Levi with a date underwater.

[✨Likes, Comments & Reblogs are supper appreciated!✨]

Notes: This work is also available on Ao3, feel free to leave kudos, comment or read there if you prefer Ao3 more ❤️

I forgot to add this in the original Ao3 post, but I was really inspired by the song from underwater scene in wakanda forever. So, I'd play the song on loop every time I was writing this. Feel free to give it a listen before, after, or during your reading session.

------------------------

It’s been a while since you and Levi last saw each other for reasons that he understood as well. For one, you were up in The Human World, tending to your regular life while you were on a break from the student exchange program. And for another, there were certain duties you had to fulfill as Solomon’s most promising apprentice. In other words, Solomon was keeping you very busy with the lessons he provided as your mentor. Admittedly, it made Leviathan feel a bit upset, but he would always feel better upon receiving your calls and messages. It made him even happier when you would do co-op with him, just the two of you.

This time around, you were reaching out for the most unexpected reason paired with a quite off-putting request:

“Levi! Let's go to the beach this Saturday! Solomon gave me the day off and I thought it'd be lovely to do some swimming!”

Leviathan was speechless… no… he was frozen. This is the first time you asked to do something so extroverted. It's quite difficult to think of any proper response.

“I don't know about going to the beach, MC…”

“Oh, I know you might be worried about other people in the place, but I promise there's a private part of the beach we're headed to. I figured I'd take you there because I also have a surprise to show you!” The smiley face at the end of the text made Levi think twice about rejecting the idea. Maybe it's overthinking, but he has this feeling that you might not take no for an answer.

He lets out a sigh, essentially out of awe at how spontaneous you are. Though admittedly, it made his heart race thinking about what would happen on that day. He imagined the scenarios painted by shoujo mangas, especially considering it would just be the two of you going.

His thoughts ran wildly with all the writing conventions he got from every manga he’s read. So much so that he wondered if he needed to practice playing volleyball, or maybe some tough talk when you run into a random group of troublesome strangers… What if you planned to ask him to help you put on some sunblock lotion? What about the conversation you might have as you watch the sunset?

Apart from that, you didn’t tell him to bring anything other than himself… did he need to bring anything? for him? for you? for both of you? Or—

“Stop this! It’s not like it’s gonna turn out that way anyways… even if we are dating…”

Even if going to the beach was the most typical kind of date for couples, he couldn’t believe you were inviting an otaku like him to go with you. If anything, he figured you’d bring Beel and Belphie, Asmo, or Mammon, who definitely wouldn’t refuse some downtime at the beach.

The same kind of thoughts ended up partially clouding his mind for the entire week. Luckily, not so much that it ended up becoming a problem for his duties as a RAD student and student council member. However, it did end up making him lose several rounds in the RPG game he was currently obsessing over.

When the day arrived, Levi had to make sure that the day would be perfect and ended up with a lot of stuff to bring after all. In response, Asmo and Mammon had to talk him out of bringing too many beach items. In the end, Levi just brought some sunscreen that Asmodeus shoved onto him, sunglasses, some swimwear, and himself.

“Are you sure I don’t need any of the stuff I was gonna bring?”

“Levi, if MC is the one that asked you out as a surprise, it should probably mean that  they’re  the one with an itinerary.” The 5th eldest of the brothers reasoned, speaking as if this was based on common sense.

“I-I guess you’re right about that…” Asmo was the love expert after all, despite being slightly uneasy and nervous, he adhered to his advice.

“If you’re gonna get cold feet over going to the beach, I oughta take your place and go with MC to the beach.” Mammon hit him in a way that was aggressively playful as if he was telling him to turn back and switch places with him. Levi raised an eyebrow, slightly annoyed

“T-they asked  me ! Besides…”

We’re the ones dating, they’re in love with me.  He stopped himself before he could say his thoughts aloud, it was a close call.

“N-nevermind, I’m just going because it’s MC! You should never refuse MC!”

Right as he says that, a portal emerges and he sees MC by the entrance. The timing almost made Mammon and Levi squeal.

“Hey, MC! If ya planned on dropping by, at least give us a heads up! I think I lost 1000 years in my lifespan thanks to you!”

“MC!” Asmo squeals and runs over to give you the biggest bear hug.

“Hello guys! Just coming in to pick up Levi. How did I do with the portal spell?” You turned over to Levi with a glimmer of excitement in your eye. His eyes widened realizing how close your face was to his.

“U-uh…!” He took a step back and coughed, rose pink dusting his cheeks.

“It was actually really good! Solomon’s mentoring skills are definitely not something to mess with.” You giggled and took him by the hand before turning to the two brothers who were seeing him out.

“Well… off we go! It was nice seeing you all!”

“Take care ya damn lovebirds!”

“Have fun you two!”

Before Leviathan could say anything else, you both already made it across the portal and into the beach.

Levi was expecting some intense heat rays. To his surprise, the heat wave never came. Instead, he was greeted with a healthy mix of blue hues and fluffy clouds.

“Huh…” His eyes landed on the ground, feeling the warmth of white sand on his flip-flops. It was a small pet peeve, but he was going to ignore it for now.

He looked a bit farther and that this was a part of the beach that was relatively distant from where people would often stay.

“Not bad right? Let's head over to the docks.” Levi nodded, letting MC take his hand and walk him to the nearby docks. It was old, the varnish that protected the wood faded from the sunlight. The nails that kept them in place creaked loudly with each step, no matter how gentle they were. Regardless, it seems that the dock was sturdy enough despite its age.

The waves were splashing gently that day, telling you everything you needed to know about how today was going to turn out to be.

You giggled to yourself as you looked at Levi and back to the crystal blue water.

When you reached the end of the dock, you sat down, cross-legged, by the edge. Then, you motioned Levi to sit next to you.

Awkwardly, he obliges, letting his feet hang as he sits down.

“I begged Solomon to teach me this one spell… just watch.” You made eye contact with Levi who was looking at you expectantly. You gave him a small smile, trying to contain your excitement. Then, you let your eyes close as your focus was redirected to the objective you had in mind.

“Spirit of the wind, let my lungs respire and my body steel under your power.”

A blue light glows intensely within you as you take a deep breath in, and fades as you breathe out. The unexplainable sensation of the spell you cast radiates from your chest to your fingertips.

You open your eyes, all your senses returning to reality.

Levi blinks.

“Okay, cool trick and all… but what's the spell for?”

You raise an eyebrow towards your lover before speaking.

“You mean you  don't  want to experience a day underwater?”

“Huh?!”

“Suit yourself, fish man.” You shrug before launching yourself into the water below you.

“What?! MC, Wait!” His mind was too startled to think about hesitations. Immediately, he jumped in after you. His adrenaline spiked as he looked around to find you, preparing for the worst possible outcome.

He had a delayed realization that you were trying out a spell that could let you breathe underwater, even as you reach the depths of the ocean… at least… if it was executed properly.

He can only vaguely recall how the spell goes as he didn’t need it in his demon form. Because of that, he was too worried over whether or not the spell even worked, stressing over why you acted so rationally.

His worst fears were realized when he saw your limp body halfway through making its way to the ocean floor.

He cursed under his breath multiple times in a state of panic.

With all the strength he could muster, he swam his way to you and caught you in his arms.

Your mouth was slightly open, motioning to the idea that you might’ve already lost breath. He shook your body in an attempt to wake you. But it’s no use.

“MC… fuck… please not like this… it’s too soon… why the hell did you have to go and be so irr—mnn…!”

Suddenly, he feels the slight warmth and softness of lips pressing against his, and a pair of hands snaking their way to his cheeks as they try to pull him in deeper.

Suddenly, his worst fears were unrealized.

You were the first to pull away, giggling playfully as you did.

“A-are you serious right now!? You could have  died! ”

“Levi, oh ye of little faith… Do you really think humans are that fragile?” You caressed his cheek, in an attempt to reassure him a little, but he only felt more heated up about the situation, and admittedly, a little flustered from the kiss you shared.

“Yes! Well… n-no… not you… I should’ve known that but— but you should’ve known to test the waters first before jumping into the water like that! Imagine if the spell didn’t work!”

“Levi, this is the spell I wanted to show you. I begged Solomon for literal weeks to teach me and help me master it. You had no idea how many times I had to grin and bear having to go to the beach with him and have him prepare picnic food.”

“I mean… look~! My hard work definitely paid off, and now I can venture with you whenever you want!”

Before he could even argue further, he began to recall the times he would gush over how much he loved the water. Admittedly, they were pretty rare instances, but the fact you even remembered it at all was heartwarming.

The soft-hearted thoughts came to a full stop when he realized…

“Wait, that means you’ve already done this with Solomon… more than once?!”

‘Curse you Solomon, you lucky bastard.’  He thought to himself.

“I mean… he’s the only guy that could teach me the spell in such a short time. I would’ve taught myself but I was a bit overwhelmed with the textbook Satan lent me.

“Why didn’t you ask Satan, then? Not that I want you spending time alone with him either…” Levi asked, mumbling the last bit so you wouldn’t hear it.

“I feel like he’s going to hold it over my head if I do. Like make me do his chores when I get back to the Devildom or help him with an Anti-Lucifer league scheme.” You shuddered at the flashbacks you had, recalling how it ended up with you being strung up by Lucifer at some point.

“Now come on! Let’s go see the ocean! Or—at least— whatever we can see here— or we can just float around, that’s fun too!” You giggled to yourself as you moved around freely, feeling the coolness of the ocean hugging you, and moving against the motions you made. It really did feel like you were floating off the ground.

Quickly, you took Levi’s hand in yours, pulling him as you made your way to the first coral reefs you saw under the waters.

Time passed, allowing you to see all kinds of colorful fishes and reefs. You believed it was luck that allowed you to see such sights, especially how it’s become a rare gem in today’s time. It was as if the universe willed this particular date for the two of you. The thought alone made you feel a bit giddy inside.

Pulling yourself from your thoughts, you turned to Levi and asked him: “So…how was today for you?”

Levi shook his head and smiled, it was as if he was trying to find the best reaction to give you. But at the end of the day, he felt dumbfounded and even more in love with you than he was before… even if he didn’t know it was possible.

He turned to you, fully awestruck. “You’re too amazing. Please don’t make me say more praise unless you want this little otaku to die of embarrassment.”

You giggled, raising your hand like you were taking an oath.

“You have my word.” You replied to him, “consider that as a thank you from me.”

Levi’s eyebrows shifted slightly in confusion “huh… but I didn't really do anything... I just followed your lead today ngl.”

“I know. But it's because of you that I got to fulfill my childhood dream to swim around in the ocean like this. It’s ten times better because I enjoyed it with you.”

He pulled away from your gaze for a moment, you were literally killing him with affection right now. A giggle escaped his lips in response, probably one of the cutest you’ve heard out of him today.

Suddenly, Levi let out a cough and his face shifted into a more serious expression.

“Can we d-do what we did a while ago? Minus m-me freaking out about you almost dying.”

“Which I didn’t,” You said matter-of-factly. Levi didn’t want to argue, nor could he if it was you. He just laughed in response.

“Which you didn’t.” He simply said. In response, you pretended to weigh your options before swimming as fast as you could.

“You’ll have to catch me first!”

Levi couldn’t help but scoff, this was a game of child’s play, and you knew it. So he gave you a little head start. He doesn’t know where this surge of pride came from, he just knew that he wanted to play into your set-to-fail plans.

He wasn’t always great with sports or running, but he was  definitely  a good swimmer when he wanted to be.

Levi felt his heart trying hard to escape from his chest. The moment he knew the distance was far enough, he made his way towards you. Levi could even feel his heart leaping bounds as you got closer.

But then… He realized, only at the last minute, that he had no clue what to do once he caught you.

Under a millisecond, his mind descended into panic mode. Right before he could think to stop, he had already collided with your body. From there, everything happened in slow motion.

There was something about the water that made how you both tumbled together embarrassing and beautiful at the same time. Perhaps, Levi thought, it was because the two of you seemed to circle around each other forming something close to the motion of a yin-yang symbol.

You were about to burst out in laughter but stopped yourself as you saw that ultra-rare expression on your lover's face, the one he’d hide because he was too shy to show how happy you made him.

The fondness in his eyes shone brightly under the dimness of the ocean. Your heart was beating crazily now, telling you to shower him with as much affection as you could in every kiss.

You obliged, feeling the world around you spin slowly as you did. It was something right out of a magical girl manga, but more. In Levi’s mind, he believed nothing could top the real thing, not even fiction.

“MC… I think I want… to kiss a little bit more…” Even in the depths of the sea, you could tell how much Levi was blushing as he sounded out his wants. The best thing about Levi was how he always expressed his desires shyly. He does his best to gather courage when he feels that he truly needs it. It was his cutest quality and because of that, you smiled.

“You can always have more because you already have all of me.”

His eyes narrowed, trying to hide his giddiness with a cringed expression. You shook your head, you could read him so well.

The two of you kiss again, feeling time and space disappear for the moment. In that moment alone, you were both one with the ocean and one with each other. Feeling what it is to love and be loved, your hearts soared infinitely, as though they were with the breeze.

[icameheretoreadstuff]

Kinktober day 13 - Leather

Pairing: OPLA!Sanji x F!Reader Warnings: 18+ ! MDNI!, NSFW, Leather, Body Worship, Teasing, Smut, Summary: Imagine Sanji being your boyfriend, Being hoplessly in love with you. You wanted to tease him, see how far you could take it before he snapped. A/N: Masterpost and all my Links is pinned on my tumblr. 😊

You knew he was in his room currently all alone, which was perfect. You looked into the mirror as you giggled over what you were wearing. You covered it up with a dress as you walked over to his room. You opened the door as he lighted up "Hey my beautiful lady" he grinned "how may I please you today?" He flirted, waiting for your reply. You closed the door and locked it. "I've been thinking about kissing you all-" before he could finish you dropped your dress to the floor and at the same time he forgot what he was going to say.

You were wearing black leather leggings with a hole around the clit and had put on black heartshaped stickers on each of your nipples. "Hi babe" you acted usual, and said “ops” as you picked up the dress from the ground, folded your dress neatly and layed it on one of his chairs as you walked over to him, acting casual "I had a couple of things in mind" you began, soaking up all of his reactions. The poor guy looked like he was already struggling as he exhaled deeply. He began to look at you knees and slowly looked up at what you were wearing "what are you doing to me?" he said as his head fell back to the wall "youre makin me so hard" he chuckled frustrated and you looked down on his crotch and noticed he had a buldge.

You grabbed his book from his hand and threw it across the room, he looked confused but captivated by you at the same time "Sanji! why did you throw your book away?" you acted suprised "You can't treat your books like this!" you walked over to where you had thrown the book. "You want this book back?" you asked him, pointing at the book. He nodded as he kept staring at your body. "I'll grab it for you, hun" you smiled and bended over to grab it, letting him explore your clit with his eyes. "You wanna feel how hard youre making me right now?"he said. He exhaled as he took off his jacket looking hungry at you. You leaned up and turned around smirking at him. "Don't mind me" He removed his pants down and his dick flew out "I can’t help it, you’re making me so horny” he said as he began to stroke his dick while staring at you. He knew this would make you more horny, you loved it when he stroked his dick in front of you, teasing you with his hard dick.

You tried to play it cool but it started to get hard fast for you "you know" you walked over to him laying the book down on his nightstand "I think there's something stuck on my chest" you said and started to rub your tits together, "Feel's so good touching my breasts" you moaned, you couldn’t help but to look at his dick. He loved your tits so much it caused him to melt, as he just stares at you hypnotized while stroking his dick. "Can you check?" You sat down on the bed and pushed your breasts forward. "I feel like, I have something right here" you teased and pointed at your nipples. He was staring at your nipples as he looked like he was about to burst. "something hard?" you continued and then you looked down on your nipples and ripped away the stickers on your nipples slowly, causing him to moan. "Much better" you giggled "So tell me, babe" you smirked. "how are you?" he swallowed hard "How can you pretend that this does nothing for me?" his voice broke, you grabbed his chin and giggled "My beautiful y/n" he exhaled "I wanna fuck you so hard" he groaned "youre teasing me so bad, you already have me wrapped around your finger" he said "touch me please." he moaned as began to stroke harder.

This time he was teasing you, real bad. But you weren't done. you layed down on all you fours as you turned around bending down your back as you placed your clit infront of his face "You like it when I tease you?" you moaned as you started to touch your clit. "Fuck y/n" he panted and stroked his dick. "you want to spank me?" you said as you bended your ass down and touched his dick with your clit, He groaned as you leaned your ass up again and went back to touching your clit. "I want you so bad y/n" he panted "stop teasing me" he stroked his dick harder "I wanna be inside you so bad." you leaned back as you were getting ready to tell him you wanted him too when you got an Idea. "I'm so ready for you" you moaned and continued to touch your clit. "But first I want you to spank me" you teased, challenging him to stop stroking himself.

He exhaled deeply as he finally spanked you, but then he curled his hands around your hips as he yanked you up twoards his mouth. You bended down your back so he could lean down better, he began to stroke his dick slowly again as he moaned into your clit. He pushed his tounge against your clit and thrusted his tounge inside you, he licked and sucked and found all your buttons like he always did. "Please" you moaned and knew you would cum any minute. "Fuck! please, I want you inside me" you panted "Sanji, please let me fuck you real good" you moaned as he continued to lick your clit. "Now It's my turn" he smirked as he held you tight around your legs as his hands were gripping tight on your leather pants "Fuck!" you moaned loudly "Please let me fuck you" your hips began to shake uncontrollably searching for his dick, "You want to fuck me?" he cooed, "yes" you moaned and he let you go, "fuck me hard my beautiful y/n, I wanna hear your pretty moans" he cooed. You turned around fast and put the dick inside you slowly but quickly, "This feels so good.” You hugged your legs into his when your hips began to shake hard down on his dick. He grabbed your ass hard as he spanked you. You held tight on his shoulder as your hips thrusted down hard, feeling close. "Oh sanji" you moaned "your dick feel's so good" you moaned louder. "I want you to look at me when you fuck me" He cooed as he looked into your eyes. "Hun" He moaned, you trusted hard down on his shaft, "Im about to cum any minute" he warned. "Cum Inside me" you panted. “I need you” Like he went feral he grabbed your waist, slipped you out and layed you down on your back and suddenly he was laying untop of you, with your feet between his head as he leaned untop of you and put his shaft into you, and started to thrust hard into you. You moaned as he was even deeper inside you. He was so fast with his hips, he grabbed your hand and entwined his fingers in yours as he thrusted hard into you. You were feeling the orgasm coming "Sanji" you moaned loudly. "cum while moaning my name like you always do" he groaned and thrusted harder into you. "Sanji" moaned again and again. He groaned loudly as you both climaxed at the same time. He slipped out, put down your legs and dragged up his pants. “Let me” he smiled at you, suddenly he held you up in bridal style as he walked over to a bowl with hot water helping you clean up. "I love you so much" you sighed and grabbed his head and kissed him deeply. "I love you too" he smiles.

After he had helped you clean up, he had turned on some candles around the room and taken off his clothes laying naked in bed, waiting for you under the blanket. You took off your leggings while giggling as you curled up into his arms, under the blanket with him. You looked up at him as he kissed you deeply. "Here" he grinned and gave you a box with your favorite baked goods. "fuck I love you so much" you giggled and kissed him hard. "I love you too y/n" he said as he kissed you on your cheek.

[stars-and-the-min]

☆ the wrong way to hard launch (8) | OP81

summary : oscar's girlfriend is a walking pr problem for literally everyone (including herself) social media au

pairing : oscar piastri x zhou!fem!singer!oc

a/n all aboard the speculation train

masterlist | last part | part 8 | next part

INSTAGRAM

selinabui

liked by oscarpiastri and 312,294 others

selinabui somehow @.rollingstone thought it would be an amazing idea to slap me on their cover?? anyways may 2024 🔜 it has an exclusive interview with urs truly p.s. whoever came up with that nickname for me deserves a raise ♥️♥️♥️ tagged: rollingstone, shotsbynadia, michealpollard, lilybeehair and jesszhang_

oscarpiastri Forgot how to breathe for a sec ↳ tina_kim @ oscarpiastri ur so real for this

linasgirl4 'the speakeasy siren'??? 😮‍💨

eb_jonno i'm confused by your dress ↳ selinabui @eb_jonno i was confused as well, don't worry about it, just admire how good i look

TWITTER

↳ kayla @luna_apocolypse · 49m fork found in kitchen, we had to wait over three years for a sophomore album, we'll live ↳ kayla @luna_apocolypse · 47m but then again... no 'new' music makes me think that lina is being sneaky again

oscalina real ?! @ emptyginbottles · 28m too many people talking about the 'no new music' bit of the interview and not enough talking about how oscar's going to drive lina to florence after imola ↳ oscalina real ?! @ emptyginbottles · 27m i didn't think it would be possible, but i think i just heard this woman giggle over a man through my phone via a printed interview

amie <3 @mieflrs · 2h it's actually so insane how smoothly the empty bottles pr team buried all the tommy talk. i didn't even notice bc they moved so naturally to 'chris and eb reunion??' and then the rolling stones cover + interview like they just dropped us better things to talk about ↳ amie <3 @mieflrs · 2h slay empty bottles pr team, i really appreciate y'all 🫶

REDDIT

r/EmptyBottles · Posted by u/luckyluna9364 5 hours ago Lina x Oscar Timeline

Has anyone worked out the relationship timeline for Lina and Oscar? I've been talking to some of my F1 friends, and there's so much confusion about how and when they met because these two people have barely been in the same country at the same time. This is, of course, if we go off the common perception that Zhou Guanyu was definitely the person who introduced them.

buisms84 · 4 hr. ago op i was literally just thinking about this!! lina's been pretty much stuck in california since the pandemic and oscar flies around for races all the time, it's pretty possible that they didn't meet first but rather started texting? but then when did they start going out because they clearly look familiar with each other. fantstic013 · 4 hr. ago streets are saying as early as silverstone 2023 👀 but we all know lina is super secretive about her current relationships (bar whatever mess thomas howard was)

summersweettea1389 · 3 hr. ago i think the confirmed timeline is what we've all been experiencing these past few months. like there seems to be no other indicator they were linked, even platonically, before that insane hard launch. luckyluna9364 OP · 3 hr. ago I know that Lina can be really sneaky but she also loves messing with us, so I'm convinced she was subtly soft-launching him and we all didn't notice. But you know what I found most strange? Right before the hard launch, a bunch of different new sites were publishing rumours, I'm not super online, but were there rumours earlier? whatthekermitdid · 3 hr. ago ur talking about the rumors of them over the holiday season when they both happened to be at the same party but that was debunked ages ago - they went with different ppl but they may have met there?

TWITTER

piaa⁸¹ @ papayaeightyone · 5h no, i don't think u understand, i'm actually SCREECHING over oscar's answer to the 'texting the wrong person' question from the never have i ever video

↳ piaa⁸¹ @ papayaeightyone · 5h I'M SO NORMAL ABOUT THEM I SWEAR 🥹

↳ kayla @luna_apocolypse · 2h 'most awkward conversation of my life'??? 'not the best way to confess'??? SELINA WHAT DID U SAY TO THIS MAN 😭 ↳ pookie piastri @op81ln4 · 3h NO I NEEEED TO KNOW HOW SHE REACTED

lina !!! @EB_selina · 48m everyone keeps tagging/sending me the clip of oscar talking about accidentally texting me about me. guys, i was there, i know it happened, and i will be taking my reaction to the grave ↳ Oscar Piastri @ OscarPiastri · 12m She's embarrassed because she ghosted me for like a week ↳ lina !!! @EB_selina · 11m sir why are u lying???

june @linafesting · 2h finding out that oscalina's talking stage was oscar giggling and texting his friends how much he liked her and lina ghosting him after an accidental confession is pure comedy ↳ june @linafesting · 2h oscalina, the couple that keeps on giving us anything but photos together

↳ clovie @ luvyouvie · 57m wait where did lina mention oscar? ↳ li(n)a @meliabelrose · 44m rolling stone interview, she mentions him like 8 times

REDDIT

r/EmptyBottles · Posted by u/luckyluna9364 3 days ago Lina x Oscar Timeline [read new comments]

whatthekermitdid · 5 hr. ago ok so my f1 friend just told me that the never have i ever video was filmed like in february (or earlier) which means that oscalina were going out since at least then BUT (and maybe i'm delulu) i couldn't help but notice that he's v calm about it like it happened a long time ago which is really no help to this timeline

niaphilia283 · 3 hr. ago not to sound clinically insane but have we considered that they've been together for a lot longer than we imagined? thinking logically, selina isn't the type of person to so publically acknowledge a new boyfriend - she didn't even mention tommy until like seven months - and judging by her recent behaviour (the hard launch, the dedicated performance, the birthday instagram post) she's either down so astronomically bad she'll never recover from it OR they've been together for at least two years luckyluna9364 OP · 3 hr. ago if they've been tgt for even longer than ONE year i'd actually lose it bc there's noooo way lina would be that quiet about it niaphilia283 · 3 hr. ago wait i just remembered that two years ago would be around when tommy got engaged and lina def would've made a big deal about any relationship my bad

TWITTER

clara @ zgy24 · 2h these photoshoots have the same vibe and it was the first thing i thought of 😭

lina for elle china zhou for champion

↳ lina !!! @EB_selina · 1h what a copycat @ZhouGuanyu24 😒 ↳ 周冠宇 | Zhou Guanyu 🇨🇳 @ZhouGuanyu24 · 1h I did it better

MESSAGES

from the phone of oscar piastri

TWITTER

lina !!! @EB_selina · 2h been feeling mean lately, how much trouble should i cause? ↳ EB BAR @theemptybottlesbar · 2h selina pls have mercy MERCY I BEG

kayla @luna_apocolypse · 1h it's been an hour since that cryptic ass tweet, i'm shaking lina what do you have up your sleeve

piaa⁸¹ @ papayaeightyone · 32m OH MY GOD WHAT DID SHE JUST SAY????

EB BAR @theemptybottlesbar · 43m We'd like to extend our condolences to @ McLarenF1, we're working on getting her media training, but it doesn't seem to be working ↳ McLaren @ McLarenF1 · 39m We're all in this together 🥹 ↳ oscalina real ?! @ emptyginbottles · 42m WHAT DID SHE DO???? IS IT THE LIVE?? WHAT DID SHE SAY IM AT WORK SELINA HOW COULD U DO THIS TO ME

amie <3 @mieflrs · 29m i just know that pr team has being worked TO DEATH this past week like RIP

INSTAGRAM selinabui started a live video

MESSAGES

from the phone of selina bui

REDDIT

r/EmptyBottles · Posted by u/luckyluna9364 6 days ago Lina x Oscar Timeline [read new comments]

luckyluna9364 OP · 1 hr. ago this thread is getting super active after lina's livestream so i'm doing my best to summarise what ppl are saying: - a much longer relationship than anticipated is highly possible; lina was still pretty vague with the timing all she really said was 'long enough' what long enough is to her is up to debate (most are keeping the benchmark at 7mo) - lina mentioned her aunt (zhou guanyu's mother) has invited them to have dinner in shanghai which means that not only has lina's family known and met oscar but also that lina is stopping over in shanghai for a bit before performing in shenzhen (exciting news for the oscalina stans) - her freezing up suggests that she and oscar were keeping a lot of the relationship private or even secret for a while and it was genuinely a mistaken slip that wasn't at all supposed to happen (one can only wonder how oscar reacted) - a couple people think that EB planned the tour schedule around the F1 calendar (there are quite a few overlaps in races and shows) which would mean that they were together BEFORE tour announcement which was back in november - one user is betting their life savings that they met before oscar's f1 debut, for that user's sake i hope it's true.

✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:

taglist @ririyulife @ashy-kit @fionaschicken @namgification @cherry-piee @urfavsgf

[megamuscle885-blog]

Skitter Flow

We're so s-small in the end man.

She wanted pussy but I gave her trauma. Haha.

Opp was talkin crazy. Shot him in both timelines.

We're out here smokin the shit that'll send you to the birdcage.

I have no loyalty for anyone. Never did, never will.

My money longer than Pale. My money longer than a Grey Boy loop.

Popped a xanny and wiped out every op within the state.

Fed him spiders. Made his ass a statistical outlier.

The worms are back.

I'm on twelve vicodins smokin that shardspace bisexual warrior monk cultivated sidepiece myrrdin deluxe cauldron reserve hashish. Shit will send you into a trigger vision, it'll have you witness Crystal God Whales.

Shorty told me no tongue so I made her gag on it.

The opps cut up shorty's face so I took two thirds of his gang in the divorce. Sent his ass into a two year coma. Froze him solid in a whole other dimension. Turned that motherfucker into a footnote at his own execution.

I don't give a fuck if I go blind, I don't need to see the price tag anyway. [The Undersiders laughing in the background. Scapegoat expresses his disbelief.]

I'm wearin that darwin bark spider gucci. Haters in shambles, dressed in their mom's pantyhose. Everyone can see your gross dick son. Should get that checked out.

I love drugs. I love drugs.

This miasma got me making out with them butch puppygirls. Changed the trajectory of her life.

The bugs are back. [Long pause followed by howling laughter from the Undersiders.]

This fight was over the moment I stepped into the room, cunt.

These cops are interrogatin me about this S-Class gamer girl as if I hadn't left their new boss buried under a freshly poured concrete foundation not two hundred feet away.

I'm out here huffin those bakuda bomb brain blasters. Shit will give you a concussion. I'm numb to all forms of pain.

Ventilated that three year old nazi with the gold plated glock to spare her ass the torment nexus.

This zaza will turn your skin translucent and make your skeleton visible. This zaza will turn you into a teenage mutant ninja salamander with LSD spit. This zaza will turn you into solid carbide titanium.

I only handed back the free world cuz I was bored.

I'm eatin that premium challenger pussy juice marinated Fugly Burger meal. The Endbringers are all I think about.

All I need is a pack of newports and the touch of a woman, and I'll fight God.

AAAAH! The worms!

You keep talkin mad shit for someone who still has eyeballs. I don't fuck with warning shots, jit.

There are bugs under your skin.

I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU!

Made her choke on it so hard they had to weekend at bernie's her ass.

Surrounded by pussy but I chose war. These lesbians screamin their hearts out. I'm sorry babe.

Fuck it, cut ties.

They forgot I'm her.

This shit's so small in the end man.

[glitch-karma]

They flirt with you while drunk ;)

I only did characters I think would actually drink

Also some of them a slightly spicy so here ya go simps (Talking to myself.)

Dazai

This is a semi-regular thing

"Y/n, belladonna, let's go back to my place~"

"Dazai.. PLEASE shut up."

At first, you thought it was sweet an cute; but now it's just something you have to deal with

Most of the time it ends with him falling asleep

But there's been a couple of times Kunikida has had to help you with him

Kunikida

Yosano convinced him to drink and unsurprisingly; He is a lightweight

He immediately got really goofy, startling you. Was this really Kunikida?

You tried helping him the best you could as he stumbled like a toddler and kept losing his own glasses

"Kida maybe you should sit down.."

He suddenly grabbed your hand and stared into your eyes

You were confused till you heard him mumble in a slur of words:

"You're stunning.. Have yous.. Always been this beautiful?"

All. Eyes. On. You.

You stared in shock as Kunikida still held your hand

After that, he passed out

You took him back to his apartment afterward

When he woke up the next morning and remembered what he said: he wanted to die.

Needless to say he apologized a million and one times

Yosano

Yosano is usually very good at holding her liquor, but this time she went a tad bit overboard

She was wobbling a lot and kept grabbing onto your waist, which you thought was cute

You held her while she kept stuttering and hiccuping like a goof

It was the end of the night and you were helping her home

You reached her apartment and were about to leave when she grabbed you by the collar, and basically straddled you in bed

"Don't be going so soon darling.. hicc.. You're so gorgeous I could cut you up.."

WHOAAAAAA

You were about a million shades of red as she ran her hands up and down your thighs

She started pulling your hair, forcing you to look into her eyes

At this point, you were ready to let anything happen

Just as your lips were about to touch, she fell asleep.

You sat there in shock

"Damnit... I was just getting excited."

The next morning you both had a nice breakfast and forgot everything that happened

Chuuya

Chuuya regularly drinks and with you, a bit of flirting is inevitable from him

You usually entertain it cause he's cute trying to flirt

But sometimes he'll get a little spicy kick to his flirting

"Y/n.." "Yes, dear-"

Bam

He slammed you against the wall

You were in shock as he leaned his head into your hair

"You're mine.. Forever.."

You calmed down and you both hugged before you forced him to go to bed

Nikolai

Nikolai, when not doing things for doa, does drink occasionally

On those occasions he tends to mess with you and tease you more than usual

"My my, it's my beautiful darlinggg~"

Nikolai is already very clingy with you, but drunk? Oh boy

He is literally laying on top of you and constantly talking to you

He places kisses all over your face and trys to make you flustered

Usually by the end of the night you both fall asleep on top on one another

Ango

Although Ango's job at the special ops is more strict than the P.M, I'd like to imagine Ango still drinks occasionally: whether it be after a hard day or in Oda's memory

I feel like he'd be a lot more open, and a tad bit more emotional

Definitely would need a lot of hugs from you

I feel like he wouldn't really flirt, more like appreciate you like a god/goddess

There will definitely be cuddles and kisses