#'oh that reminds me of [friend]' or 'oh [friend] would think that was hilarious'

[5sospenguinqueen]

Tantrums Pt 2 | Lewis Hamilton x Reader

Summary: After flushing a ten year relationship down the drain, Lewis realises he wants nothing more than to win you back. Especially when he sees you doing everything in your will to make him suffer.

Warnings: slight age gap, reader is 32. angst. swearing. pettiness

Requested: @madelynn-sienna and a whole bunch of you on part 1

F1 Masterlist

This is a long one, sorry

prev.

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roscoelovescoco just posted

liked by albon_pets, charles_leclerc and others

roscoelovescoco i am’s 12 today’s 🥳 thanks for’s all’s the birthday’s love’s. just as handsome’s as ever’s

44,985 comments

lewishamilton happy birthday to my boy

yn_ln oh, i miss when he was that little. happy birthday to my cutest boy 💕

user1 not yn and lewis both using my boy instead of our boy 

user2 i feel like lewis was behind this post ‘cause he used the cutest pic of him and roscoe

→ user3 yes, he looks so boyfriend coded in this 

→ user4 i feel like that’s the point? 

→ user5 i bet it’s because he’s trying to remind yn of how much she loves her boys

→ user4 but this doesn’t even include yn’s face

albon_pets happy birthday, roscoe! love from the whole gang

user6 everyone is saying lewis posted this to win yn back but i actually feel he’s posting this as a snub

→ user7 he hasn’t included yn’s face despite there being millions of pics of her and roscoe. like, that’s been her dog as well for the past 10 years

→ user8 i feel like these two are going to be really petty. i mean, look at how brocedes went

→ user9 i feel like you can’t let go of a 10 year relationship and not be slightly petty

user10 okay but lewis looks so good in this 

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tagheuer just posted

liked by maxverstappen1, redbullracing and others

tagheuer counting down to race time with our formula one collection ambassadors  tagged: maxverstappen1, yn_ln

33,239 comments

yn_ln i think we all know who looks the best though 

→ maxverstappen1 fire her

user1 queen’s been booked and busy lmao

user2 not the red bull brand

redbullracing the best looking ambassadors i’ve ever seen

user3 tag putting yn and max in the same post? does this mean they modelled together?

→ user4 she’s an ambassador for a brand that solely sponsors red bull and is showcasing their f1 collection. of course they modelled together

→ user5 we love to see it

user6 i bet lewis is frothing!

user7 we know who red bull is picking in the divorce 

→ user8 like there was ever a question

user9 i just feel like george will be the one to show this to lewis by going “what do you think about this watch?” 

→ user10 omg yes, he’ll show yn’s pic and say “do you think carmen would like this?” just to watch lewis realise who the model is liked by carmenmmundt 

user11 i know she’s a model so will take the jobs she’s offered but i definitely feel like she accepted this to be a little petty

→ user12 what are the odds that she accepted it with a giggle 

→ user13 as she should

redbullracing just posted

liked by carmenmmundt, schecoperez and others

redbullracing kicking off the mexican grand prix with some famous faces  tagged: yn_ln

23,109 comments

maxverstappen1 famous faces? the only one i recognise here is me

→ yn_ln ha ha ha you’re hilarious.

→ user1 max and yn being besties? when did this happen?

→ yn_ln when we did our shoot for tag and he stuck by my side the entire time. like a child forced into a room with a bunch of their mum’s friends

→ maxverstappen1 you were the only person i knew! 

user2 oh, this isn’t what i was expecting to see when i opened insta 

mercedesamgf1 give her back

→ user3 messy

georgerussell63 oi, she doesn’t belong to you 

→ user4 carmen clearly supports this move

→ georgerussell63 carmen! we can see that you liked this

user5 does this mean lewis and yn are truly over?

→ user6 no! i refuse to accept that this is how it ends 

user7 lewis must be seething 

user8 if anyone hears any loud crashes, that’s lewis throwing things 

landonorris can we have you next?

→ oscarpiastri they seriously need to take away your media 

user9 streets are saying that max was the one who invited her?

user10 please, red bull, fix that damn car so max qualifies at the top, away from lewis, because i fear for our boy’s safety after this 

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yn_ln just posted

liked by alexandrasaintmleux, nicorosberg and others

yn_ln is this what you call an everyday car? 

19,406 comments

user1 wait, what happened to her ferrari?

charles_leclerc i feel betrayed 

→ yn_ln it’s not about you, i promise

porsche a pretty car for a pretty girl 

→ yn_ln my dream car

→ user2 since, uh, when?

user3 is she starting a new collection of cars or is this in lieu of the ferrari?

→ user4 i fear she got rid of the ferrari 

→ user5 or she’s kept it and just has the porsche in addition

user6 this is definitely a deliberate post. lewis bought her her dream car for their anniversary and not even months later, she’s buying a porsche?

→ user7 she can have more than one car

→ user8 yeah but she’s never been a multiple car owner and like user said. the ferrari was her dream car

user9 this feels like a dig at lewis

user10 i say good for her. a man wasted her time so she’s wasting his “gift”

user11 ultimate power move. if only red bull were still aston martin so she could’ve picked aston martin

user12 i bet lewis got mad at her for being in the red bull garage and she decided to wind him up further

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yn_ln just posted

liked by alexandrasaintmleux, roscoelovescoco and others

yn_ln 🖤💋

21,966 comments

carmenmmundt jaw droppped

→ yn_ln 🩷

user1 who is that man?

user2 she thought she could distract us with how hot she looks but we see that man, sis

user3 i hope this one treats her right and gives her everything she deserves

user4 bride yn incoming with a man who will marry her

francisca.cgomes i need that dress and the body in it

→ yn_ln i’ll send you the link, my gorgeous girl

user5 i’m glad she’s moving on because lewis did her dirty so it’s nice to see her recovering from that 

georgerussell63 what’s all this then

→ user6 omg guys, george commented

→ user7 and?

→ user8 he hasn’t commented on any of her posts since her and lewis broke up. does this confirm that the guy in the pic is lewis?

→ user9 may your delulu come trululu

user10 i can’t deal with this today. i know yn deserves the best but she can’t move on

user11 i’m actually in mourning. wdym she’s moving on and getting super hot pics from it

lewishamilton 😅🫣

→ user12 excuse me? i found this comment hidden 1000s of comments down but excuse me?! 

→ user13 what does this mean?!

→ user14 mate, if you want to win her back, you need to try harder

→ user15 he heard people talking about hot she looked and decided to hit her up

→ user16 this is such a pathetic attempt. what happened to his rizz

→ user17 looks like yn took it with her

yn_ln added a new story

lewishamilton added a new story

charles_leclerc added a new story

replies (tweet 1 and 3 are supposed to be swapped)

user1 @/tweet3 she was! kym illman posted her on instagram as their guest for the weekend

→ user2 she had a merc pass and everything

user3 i want to know who invited her and why. she doesn’t model for tommy anymore so she’d have no reason to be their guest

→ user4 i bet it was george

→ user5 nah. toto did it to throw lewis off so he could make his “shelf life” comment look real

user6 the real question is, did lewis know she was going to be there

user7 @/tweet2 we waited 10 years for lewis and yn’s wedding and we don’t get one ever?

→ user8 they broke up. we weren’t getting one anyway?

→ user7 streets are saying that yn and lewis got married in vegas

→ user8 be fucking real. he broke her heart

user9 @/tweet1 fully agree. i bet it was max and charles instead haha

→ danielricciardo he can back off my man! 

→ user10 omg daniel. he may not be on the grid but max is his forever 

user11 people are speculating that they got married because he posted a picture of a chapel?

→ user12 i know. that could mean literally anything?

user13 all the drivers were drunk celebrating max’s fourth wdc so i’m betting it’s a driver marrying another driver instead

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9 months

lewishamilton just posted

liked by nicorosberg, mclaren and others

lewishamilton my whole world

50,440 comments

roscoelovescoco the’s cutest’s sister in all’s the world’s 

user1 the man famous for long captions and he only gives us 3 words?! where’s the details!!

user2 when did this happen!!!

user3 and she has a wedding ring on? they definitely got married in vegas 

user4 guys, she's just changed her name on socials!

georgerussell63 what happens in vegas, does NOT stay in vegas 

charles_leclerc @/alexandrasaintmleux see, i told you we needed a dog AND a baby 

→ yn_hamilton are you going to push the baby out?

→ charles_leclerc i would if biology let me

→ yn_hamilton @/lewishamilton why did you never say this to me?

→ lewishamilton i knew letting you two be friends was a bad idea

yn_hamilton i still can’t believe you brought the ring to vegas

→ lewishamilton i was feeling lucky 

mercedesamgf1 you don’t tell us you got married and now you don’t tell us about the baby

→ scuderiaferrari he’s not your driver anymore?

→ mercedesamgf1 oop, my bad. used to seeing his name and being responsible for his pr

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Baby Fever Angst Series

requests open

tag list

@how-what-why-huh @bibissparkles @strengthandstay @raynetargaryan2 @seonghwaexile @unknownmystery22 @hoeforsirius @jackandsallyandbuttonandsparrow @mbioooo0000 @unstablefemme @strawb3heart @wearethecanadians @ajordan2020 @topaz125 @seasonswinter @fearfam69691 @evie-119 @be-your-coffee-pot @myescapefromthislife @madelynn-sienna @heavy-vettel

[mywritersmind]

GO OUT WITH ME - LN4

summary : Lando doesn’t beg. But when it comes to y/n, he can’t help it.

listen up : nothing big to note! just cuteness

word count : 945

⋆｡‧˚⋆

“Go out with me.” He says for the third time today, watching me swipe on my strawberry lip gloss. I pocket the bottle into my jeans pocket, crossing my arms over my black vest. I look to Lando who’s behind me in his papaya suit.

“Could you please stop bothering my friend?” Oscar says, sitting on a stool in his own driver's room.

“I will if she says yes.” He looks at me with big blue eyes, smiling. Too bad I have to crush his dreams.

“No.” I shrug and look back to my childhood best friend.

“Why are you even here, Lan?” Oscar leans his head back against the wall.

“What do you mean? I love hanging out with my bestie!” He stands, messing with Oscar’s hair. I laugh a bit and his face lights up, “Go out with me.”

“Goodbye Lando!” Oscar pushes him out the door and slams it in his face. “You know he will stop if you ask him, right?”

I look at my manicure, sighing, “Yeah, I know.”

⋆｡‧˚⋆

Lando won. I go to a race to watch Oscar and everywhere I turn, Landos face is being projected onto some screen. I was there in Miami and now I'm here in the Netherlands.

I’m leaving the paddock when I literally run into the man. I told you he’s everywhere!

He’s smiling like I've never seen before, sweaty and laughing before he looks up at me, “Shit, Y/n! I’m sorry.”

“No problem.” I shake my head, “Congrats, by the way.” He bites his lip, his suit unzipped and water bottle in hand.

“Thanks! You must be a good luck charm.” he winks and I'm thoroughly reminded how attractive he is. I won’t go out with him but that doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate him.

“You going out to celebrate?” He’s walking with me through the hall.

“Nah I want fast food and a movie.” He shakes his head, a curl falling onto his forehead. “Join me?”

“Bye, Norris.” I walk out the door.

I can practically hear the smile in his sweet accent, “See you later, Y/l/n.”

⋆｡‧˚⋆

I knock on Oscar’s door repeatedly, “Open up, Idiot!”

No reply.

My stupid best friend hasn’t responded to me all night, we had plans for me to cheer him up after his crappy race but he’s totally ditching me!

“That’s my room.” I freeze when he speaks. The British accent is one that I will not confuse with Oscars.

I slowly turn to Lando, “Oh.”

“Any reason you’ve come for a visit?” He holds a bucket of ice and a dutch chocolate bar. “Change your mind about the date?”

I pull my lips into a thin line, “No! I’m looking for Oscar.”

He walks closer to me, “We switched rooms. He's a level down.”

“Shit.” I roll my eyes, “You think he’s asleep?”

“Definitely. Seemed wiped after today.” He shrugs and eyes the bag I'm holding.

I was supposed to cheer him up after a crappy race, I bought all the Australian treats I could find, “Great.” I sigh. ”He’s leaving tomorrow morning so now I’m stuck with all these snacks.”

“Snacks?” Lando almost laughs, “Poor you, stuck with food.”

“Australian snacks! We were supposed to watch ‘How to lose a guy in ten days’ and he was supposed to complain about it!” I frown, I don’t get to see Oscar often even though he’s just come from break, I barely saw him.

Lando unlocks his room, “I’m sorry. I’d invite you in but I'm assuming you’d say no.”

“Lando Norris… Are you giving up?”

His head shoots up when I say it, “No! I’m respecting your wishes.” He opens the door and walks in, clearly waiting for me to make my decision.

I push past him and jump the snacks onto his bed, “Oscar told me you don’t like tim tams.”

⋆｡‧˚⋆

An hour later I find myself watching Oscar and I’s movie with Lando. He’s actually really funny, and genuinely thinks this movie is hilarious.

I’m caught looking at him, “Everything okay?”

I nod slowly, pretending like I wasn’t just examining his face, “Can I ask you something?” He nods, “If I said yes… to a proper date- what would you do?”

He smiles, “Probably jump for joy, if i’m being honest.”

I roll my eyes.

“You know I don’t just ask you out on some whim right?“ He’s being serious. “I like you. I want to get to know you more.” He says it so casually but I can tell he’s nervous.

I can’t breathe, “More than just Oscar's friend?”

Lando shakes his head, toying with a candy in his hand, “You’ve always been more than Oscar's friend.”

“Then, yes.” I’m certain this time.

“Yes?”

“Yes i’ll go out with you.”

He blinks.

“You better not be joking.”

“I’m not!” I laugh and he puts his head into his hands, “Lando!”

“I knew you’d come around!” He points at me before pausing again, “This isn’t some pity thing, right? Just because I’m alone after I won doesn’t mean I’m all sad or something!”

“Lando.” I try but he keeps going.

“I did win, after all! And I don’t want you to say yes because of that either because it’s cool and all but I am more than a win also I swear I have other friends besides Os-”

“Lando!” I laugh and grab his face. He stops speaking, “I want to go out with you. Because you’re you.”

I can feel his heart beating, “That’s good.”

“Very good.” I agree. His smile hits me once more and I match it, “You’re cute.”

“I think I'm dreaming.”

note : race was TOUGHHH today😭 had to write smt happy to cope. loved it for charles tho can’t lie! hope you enjoy!

[pyramid-of-starrs]

Attention Seeker

Frat boy Yunho x Fem Reader

Summary: You and Yunho have been in the "talking phase" but when you see him entertaining another girl you want to get a little revenge. When he catches you he gives you all the attention you had been waiting for.

Genre: Smut, angst, pwp

Word count: 4k

Warning: Angst, bratty behavior, y/n is kinda annoying sorry, aggression

Smut Warning: Spit... like alot of spit, unrealistic anal, anal play, vaginal sex, oral sex (F receiving, both holes), fingering (both holes), cum play, this is honestly just filthy as hell, bratty reader, mean dom Yunho, choking, slapping (chest and vagina)

A/N: This is alot lowkey sorry lol, kinda missed some points but I think we hit the mark.

Commission submitted by: @thespiffynerd - "I would like to request a filthy nasty mean dom Yunho idea. Ass eating, breeding, spitting in the mouth, degradation, a little bit of pain like biting, smacking, etc. Maybe Y/N flirting with one of the band members too much too get Yunho’s attention or a co-worker at work trying to always ask Y/N out."

Minors DNI

Smut under the cut

Finally, quiet, the only noises filling the room was the sound of your lips on Jongho's. The painful thought that maybe this wasn't the best idea dawned on you but you had to remind yourself that, yes, you and Yunho were in the "talking phase" and, yes, you were the one that told Yunho you weren’t looking for a relationship right now. And yes, you both agreed to not see other people but it wasn't like you were doing this to hurt his feelings. Yunho was a sweet guy, but he still had his player ways, you couldn't blame him honestly, birds of a feather flock together, his entire friend group was known for running through people, when he invited you too this party he had already been surrounded by a group of women, it's expected from such a popular guy. The issue was the fact that when you tried to get his attention, he decided to ignore you, but maybe you were crazy? So, you called for him again.

"Can't you see I'm talking?" He said as the girl he was talking to giggled, your eye twitched, so you made your way to the more secluded upstairs of the house where you found Jongho, alone in an LED lit gaming room, one conversation led to another and next thing you knew your lips were on his. You could taste a very faint hint of beer on his breath, you hated the taste but loved escaping the feeling of a hurt heart. It's not like you were heart broken or anything, you two had only been talking for a month but he kind of made you feel special, but oh well, mightiest well ignore the feelings now.

Jongho pulled back from the kiss. "Oh shit..." You were confused why he pulled back, you opened your eyes to see his eyes fixated on something ahead of him.

"What's wrong?" You asked as you looked over your shoulder to see a very obviously pissed Yunho standing in the wide door frame. You scoffed and rolled your eyes.

"What do you think you're doing Y/N?" He asked, his jaw clenching with anger.

You turned from Jongho to face him. "What does it look like?" you said in a condescending voice.

"Looks like you're sucking face with one of my closest friends."

"Wow really? You two look so much alike I thought he was you." the sarcasm radiated off of your tone.

"Hilarious." Yunho said, he walked over and grabbed you by your arm, pulling you out the room and down the hall as you squirmed and tried to pull away, your effort was wasted and only made his grip tighter. He pulled you to his room, once inside he flung you on the bed and slammed the door behind him and locked it.

"What the hell is your problem?!" You yelled at him as you sat up on the bed, no answer was given.

"I should be asking you that question." he walked over to you and stood at the end of the bed.

"You know what my fucking problem is don't act like a dumbass now." you started to match his energy.

"Watch your mouth Y/N."

"I don't have to do shit! Why don't you go back to ignoring me for your groupies an leave me alone, you didn't give a fuck about me then, why do you give a fuck now-" Before you could continue to bitch him out his large hand grabbed your face and shoved you into the bed, your head bounced from the force.

"Didn't I just tell you to shut the fuck up Y/N?" His energy shifted, the tension was heavy. You looked up at him as you brought your knees closer to your chest. "Take your shirt and bra off." You stared at him blankly.

"W-why should I?" You said, you wanted to do whatever he said but you wouldn't be you if you didn't act like a brat, Yunho would never admit it, but he loved your bratty ways. The tantrums you would throw when you didn't have your way, how you would purposely do things to piss him off, but the only issue was this time, you took it too far. You knew how much it annoyed him when his friends would flirt with you unknowingly, since they weren't aware that you two were a serious thing. Maybe you did go a bit far by purposely kissing the one person from his friend group that people joked was his twin, but all is fair in love and war, right?

Yunho silently walked over to the side of the bed closest to you, he leaned his large figure over you while placing his hand on the side of your head. He swiftly took his other hand and wrapped his long fingers around your throat while pushing you into the bed. "Either do what the fuck I say, or I'll make you regret it." He clenched his jaw while you noticed the veins popping in his neck. "Do I make myself clear?" his eye contact was severe and all you could do is nod while looking dead into his dark brown eyes.

He released your neck and stood back up waiting for you to follow his directions. You chose not to bullshit anymore and sat up, sitting on your knees directly in front of him on the bed, then removed your shirt to reveal a cute push up bra that made your tits look amazing. You unhooked your bra the as your 2 soft breast plopped out, you sat on the bed on your knees shirtless and looked back at him. "Well... now what?" you said with an attitude.

"Since you like putting on a show, put on a show for me. Play with them." He said while folding his arms, your face got hot thinking about him watching you play with your boobs, but then again you mightiest well have some fun and play along. You lifted both your hands to your chest, gripping both your fleshy mounds from the bottom, massaging the fat between your palms. Your eyes met his, you hoped to get his usual reaction from, he usually would be fighting to stay mad at you then realizing he couldn't resist you and fucking you into the bed. The vibe however was different this time, maybe you went too far, he just stood there with his arms folded watching you squeeze your boobs together while he had a scowl on his face.

"Aww what’s wrong Yuyu? Mad at little ole me?" A teasing smile on your face.

"Spit on them." He ignored your attempt to tease him and made his command, you did as you were told. You tilted your chin down, allowing the spit in your mouth to fall to the front. You pursed your lips and allowed the cold spit to hit one breast then turned your head and let it hit the other. Your hands wasted no time smearing the saliva around your nipples as they got harder. "Again." he demanded; you were a bit confused but again you listened. You spit on your breast once again, this time only a small bit coming out. "Come on you've spit on my dick better than that, how pathetic are you? Let me show you how you need to do it." Yunho gathered all the spit in his mouth and puckered his lips to spit a glob of spit directly on your chest, causing a shameless whimper to fall from your lips. "Go on."

You knew what he wanted, you rubbed the spit around your chest like lotion, coating every inch of you breast in it, some of it sitting on your hard nipple and dropping, causing a string of spit to fall down to your thighs. You closed your eyes to bathe in the feeling on your fingers pinching your nipples and the heat between your thighs pooling, you quickly opened them when a hard smack hit your wet boobs causing an intense stinging pain that made you groan. When you opened your eyes, you were greeted with Yunho once again taking his large hand and smacking your breast again, the pain made your chest throb, but it felt amazing. "Such a messy slut, take your panties off and show me how wet I know you are." You leaned back to sit on your butt, your wet hands reached under your skirt to remove your panties. "Now spread nice and wide for me." You bent your knees and spread your legs for him to see, your sopping wet cunt was on full display for him but you decided to reach down to spread your pussy lips open so he could see your gummy walls. "Mm, finally being good for me huh?"

"You've got me this horny I mightiest well listen so I can at least get fucked." You witfully retorted, his face showed that he wasn't that amused by your smart mouth.

"Rub your little slutty pussy for me." he scanned you up and down.

"Why when you're right here?"

"Because you and your bratty ass mouth haven't earned me yet."

"...fine." You took your two fingers and slid them between your wet cunt. You rubbed a few circles on your clit then slid back down to do the same to your hole, you whimpered while trying to ignore the burning sensation of Yunho's gaze. The speed of your fingers gradually picked up as you rubbed your needy nub, it felt good but masturbating with just your hand feels the same as when you try to tickle yourself. You moaned and whimpered the faster you went but it only made you needier for Yunho, your slick started to run down to your ass as you got more turned on, your mouth felt parched, so stuck in a daze knowing that he was watching you do this. "Y-Yunho please- I need you."

The smirk on his face made you want to knock it off of him. "Oh really? You sure you don't want me to go get Jongho?" He folded his arms as you continued to rub yourself, now using 3 fingers.

"Sh-Shut up! You know I want you..." You managed to groan out.

"Actually, I don't know that, you seem to be doing just fine on your own." He retorted.

"No- please I need you." You felt your yearn for him growing the more you rubbed your wet pussy as your hips rocked against your fingers just trying to chase your need for more.

"Where do you need me?" He asked with that dumb dickhead smirk.

"Here... please... I need you here." You said softly as your patience ran thin.

"Where is here Y/N?"

You whimpered as your clit started to ring, you knew he was just fucking with you at this point. "Down here o-obviously." You said between moans, Yunho was loving watching you fall apart in front of him, but he wanted to mess with you just a bit more and he had the perfect idea.

"Fine." He bit his bottom lip as he continued to carry a devious smirk on his face like he was up to no good. He climbed on to the bed, kneeling in front of your legs. "Down here, right?" He pointed down to your core.

"Yes ha~ hurry up"

"Okay, anywhere specific or-"

"Just fucking do something." You said no longer having patience for him and his bullshit. He gripped the underside of your knees and suddenly pushed them to your chest causing your ass to lift off the bed. "Hey what-"

He pushed your legs back more as your ass lifted more into the air, he was folding you with ease like a piece of paper, you could feel the sting of your muscles being stretched. Your needy wet cunt was right by his face since he was leaned into you. "Down here, right?" He looked into your eyes, and it made your face hot, this position made you feel so exposed and shy, all you could do is nod slowly. He drove his face down, tongue ready to taste your slick, you closed your eyes tight as you anticipated feeling his cold tongue on your hot pussy. Then there was another sensation that made you jolt, and your eyes shoot open, Yunho's tongue was on your hole but not the hole you thought. He was kitten licking your asshole and the feeling sent a chill down your spine. You have never had anyone stimulate your ass, he had never mentioned doing it so where is this coming from? His tongue worked on your second hole, tracing the rim with the tip of his tongue, the mixture of his spit and your slick coated your bottom as it drips down. You wanted to speak but couldn't the only thing falling from your lips were pathetic whimpers while you rolled your hips wishing you could have his tongue on your pussy too. Maybe that's what he was trying to do? Get back at your bratty behavior by avoiding where you really wanted him, but this didn't feel like a punishment. You had never felt this feeling before, it tickled but you also felt it in your pussy, it just made you want more.

"Fuck~ feels 'o good." You muttered, you couldn't conjure a coherent thought it was like you were in a trance. Your eyes rolled back as you firmly planted your head in the pillows under you, Yunho wrapped his pillow soft lips around your hole while his tongue continued to stimulate you before he pulled off with a pop.

"Finally ready to be good for me baby?" He said softly noticing your relaxed and submissive state, you easily folded as you nodded again. "Good." His mouth was quickly back on your asshole as he removed one on his hands from your leg. He used his two long fingers to slowly rub circles on your throbbing clit, it was like water putting out a fire, you couldn't help but moan louder, thank God there was a party going on down stairs or like usual Yunho's housemates would be banging on the door for you two to keep it the hell down. Your head rolled around the pillows as you breathed heavily, your fingers digging into the sheets below you.

"Make me cum Yunho, fuck" you said, then harsh slap on your pussy was felt making you wince. "What the fuck!" your eyes opened and looked directly at him.

"Is that how you ask?" He said removing his mouth from your hole again.

"Are you fucking serious? Just make me cum, God!" Welp the submissive soft girl act didn't last long, the attitude earned you 2 more slaps to your wet cunt before Yunho let you go making you drop back down on the bed with a slight bounce. He started to remove his clothes starting with his shirt then his jeans you sat up frizzled from the edging. “Oh? Finally going to fuck me?” You smirked smugly.

“God, do you shut the fuck?” Yunho said rolling his eyes, he crawled on the bed to hover his large frame over yours. As he pushed closer you laid back. "You have me, the best fucking dick you have and will ever get in your life, and you can't shut your whore mouth. Just sit there like a good pretty little bitch and take it. Got it?" He said looking you into your eyes.

You stared at him for a moment, all you wanted was to make him a little jealous but the look in his eyes was serious. All you could do is nod.

"Good, open your mouth." he said while gripping your chin. You slowly opened your mouth and before you could process what was happening, he spit directly into it, making you wince for a moment. "I don't give you 2 seconds of my attention, and you tongue down my friend. Don't worry though baby, I'll give you all the attention you needed." he smiled. "Swallow and turn around." You swallow as soon as he releases your chin, you turn to then lay on your stomach once he moves from on top of you to kneel on the bed.

You arched your ass into the air to present to him shamelessly. Your cunt was glistening, practically begging to get fucked by him. Yunho removed his boxers finally and got closer to you. He gripped the base of your shaft and rubbed it between your folds. You couldn't take anymore teasing, anymore waiting. "Please... please, I'll be good." you pathetically whimpered out.

"Will you baby?"

"Yes~ please." your hips started to move against his cock, you didn't even notice he had stopped. His tip rubbed against your clit ever so slightly just enough so you could feel some kind of friction.

"Say sorry baby, say sorry and I'll give you everything you need."

"I'm ngh~ I'm sorry baby, please, please fuck me." You began to drool on the pillow your face was on as you quickened your pace. Yunho pulled away and sunk his length into your needy hole. You moaned loudly; you could never really get use to his almost obscene size. The small sting turned to pure bliss, making your eyes roll back. He bottomed into you; your breathing spiked feeling his tip on your ovaries.

"Apology accepted beautiful." He wasted no time and moved his hips back in forth, pumping his dick into you. "So wet and tight, I must not fuck you hard enough. That must be why you’re acting up." His pace quickened. You couldn't form anything coherent as you felt your mind start to blank. "I already feel you squeezing me baby, already about to cum?"

"Fuck, fuck~" Your stomach dropped, your cunt clenched around his dick. His pace moving even faster as he felt your pussy hugging him, you came. Your mind filling with fog, your eyes completely rolled back, and you zoned out for a moment. You finally came back to earth, Yunho was still fucking into you when overstimulation kicked in. "too much, Yunnie it's too much ahh-" Yunho didn't want to make you uncomfortable but he knew you, he knew this was not enough for you. "Want... want more, want more please." Your legs were unstable causing you to fall into a collapsed doggystyle. Your pussy ringed as he pulled out of you.

"Are you sure? You want me to keep going?" Yunho asked as his large hands gripped your ass, and he massaged you with his thumbs.

"Yes... please." you begged.

Yunho separated your cheeks and spit a cold glob of saliva onto your asshole. He rubbed his long finger between your still throbbing pussy to collect your cum. He smeared the spit around the rim of your hole then glided one finger in. Your moans could probably be heard throughout the whole house. The sensation of his fingers in your ass could drive you crazy every time. Your hips wiggled as your pussy still leaked. He watched your reaction to make sure you were comfortable and added another finger. Your hole was tight, but he used his other hand to continue to rub your cheek just to keep you calm but your mind was so fuzzy.  You cried out as he scissored his fingers inside you. Before you could cum, he slowly slid back out.

“Did that feel good baby?”

“Yes mm~” you managed to mumble out. He spat onto his cock and aligned his tip with your asshole. You could feel the pressure of his dick on the rim and your mind could barely comprehend taking his thick dick in your ass, but it made your pussy leak even more.

“Think you could take me here baby? Do you want it?” He said smirking at you.

You looked back at his smug face, your face looking absolutely fucked out, you nodded to him. He wanted to tease a verbal response out of you but even though he would never admit it he was at his limit too. He pushed his length slowly into your tight asshole and you clenched your jaw while whimpering and grabbing the sheets under you. The mix of pleasure and pain was overwhelming, and he could tell it was a lot for you. He leaned his large frame down to kiss you. The kiss started actually pretty warm and wholesome until he continued to push into you. Feeling his cock drive deeper into you made you babble nonsense into his mouth until he finally bottomed out. He lifted himself back up.

“You have to relax a bit baby.”

After a moment you finally adjusted to his size in your unused hole. “Please ah~ please move.” You mumbled out. Not needing to be told twice he started to pump his long dick into you. Somehow you could still feel him in your pussy, and you could no longer think straight. Your mind was completely gone, your eyes rolling with every stroke he took inside you. Yunho's bottom lip fully being bitten by his teeth, biting deeper with every motion. You were so tight and wet around him; he thought your pussy was tight, but this was something completely different. This was both of your first time doing anal and absolutely won’t be your last, Yunho was going to have fun with you later. You started to fall forward as your body was growing limp, unconsciously running from him. He took both his large hands and wrapped them around your hips to keep you in place.

“Don’t run from me baby, take every inch of my dick.” He said in a low voice. He pulled out halfway then slammed back into your repeatedly, you cried out his name along with strings of “fuck” and other whiney words and phrases. You felt your stomach begin to tighten again.

“Yunnie I’m gonna cum- I’m gonna cum FUCK.” You slurred out.

He sped up his pace as his climax was on the rise as well. “Going to cum in your tight little ass, you want that don’t you. You want my cum to leak out of your asshole baby?”

“Please, please fill my ass, please, please ple- “before you could finish begging like a proper whore your pussy clenched around nothing and began to leak on the bed below you. You could feel Yunho pump into you once… twice… three times before his hot cum filled your ass. He pulled out slowly, still leaking as some of his cum got on your leg. He dropped his large body on the side of you and immediately started to kiss you.

“If I ever catch you with any of my housemates or anyone else in general, I’ll kill you both.” He said with his cute but serious puppy face. You were still breathing heavy but couldn’t help but to let out a breathy laugh.

“Well don’t go around flirting with other girls then, plus you were being an ass to me.”

“Oh God Y/n I wasn’t flirting; she was flirting with me, and I was just being nice. But… you’re right… I shouldn’t have been rude about it. I’m sorry.” He said as you turned on your side and he pulled you in closer by your waist.

“Thank you. And by the way being friendly, being flirty, synonyms.” You rolled your eyes.

“Jesus, for someone “Not looking for a relationship” you sure are jealous.”

“Yeah, so what?”

“So, the least you could do is be my girlfriend if your gonna act like that.”

“Hmm… I’ll think about it. First, we have to do the walk of shame to the bathroom so we can shower though.” You said as you slowly got up, wincing a bit at the soreness.

“Dude it’s like- “He checked his apple watch on his wrist. “4am. The party ended like an hour into us fucking. Everyone is either passed out or doing what we were.”

“Oh- well come on still, my ass hurts.” You both got out the bed and Yunho slapped you on the ass to tease you.

[disgustingtwitches]

Drug dealer bf 141 but stoner!reader? 👀

MDNI

Yesss, all of them would have very different reactions

Ghost- Doesn't want to be around drugs in general, he doesn't touch his work and definitely doesn't touch weed. It makes him disassociate. He feels less in control of his body and mind, he thinks about things he's pushed down for years. Oh, and he hates the smell too. He'll make you smoke outside in a designated smoking robe that you have to keep in the mudroom. He tolerates being around you when you are high, but really doesn't like when other people are high around him. He also hates it because it gives you cottonmouth and he hates dry head.

Soap- Are you kidding me? This man is buying a zip a week for the both of you. Are Russian creams a thing in the UK? Because if it is he's smoking it. He's got you rolling the fattest blunts in the world and he fucking faces it. Notoriously bad at passing the joint because he'll just hold onto it and talk for forever. He put you onto dabs. He has like an actual rig and everything. You'll both be high watching some show on the couch and he'll turn to look at you with bloodshot eyes and those blue ass irises like ʘ‿�� and you'll either be scared or die laughing because of his stupid high face.

Gaz- So he loves science right? He also loves cooking (like, actually cooking with food and stuff). This man makes infused butter and milk and whatever else you want to cook with. He prefers not to smell like it, so he'll make it at a friend's place, but yeah! He finds it hilarious when you look at him all glassy eyed, staring at him like he's the hottest thing this side of the milky way. Showed you how to make a gravity bong because it's the most effective way to get high, it takes a smaller amount of weed to get you really high. Supportive boyfriend yay!

Price- He loves seeing you happy and he loves that he can give you the best weed around. He'll let you help harvest the buds, dry it, trim it, cure it, then smoke it! It's a very rewarding process for him, he loves when you get all giggly and stare at him half lidded with those pretty, pretty eyes of yours. Sometimes his shit is so strong you have to breathe manually, reminding yourself to inhale and exhale. He likes shotgunning smoke back and forth between you two while you sit in his lap, kisses getting sloppier and sloppier until his hand moves up your thighs and you melt in his arms.

[agentmarvel]

Can we have headcanons of fem!reader wife x 141 guys and how they each handle her leaving for girl’s night out in a really skimpy dress?

I think they’d all have hilarious reactions.😂

Omg yesssss

NSFW under the cut

MDNI - 18+

♡ Price:

Oh lord, that man is NOT letting you out of the house.

"Where ya think you're going in that?"

gets a little pissy when you remind him you have one girls night a month, and you have every right to wear whatever you want

"Doesn't mean you have the right to show anyone else what's mine, love."

will physically block the door with his whole body, knowing you won't be able to move him unless he allows it

he isn't mad - no, quite the opposite! it's taking every ounce of his self-restraint not to rip that damn thing in half and have his way with you right there on the foyer floor

"John, move. I don't want to be late!" - "Shame... You should've thought about that before you put on something you know damn well I can't resist."

he thinks it's cute when you argue with him, but you both know this ends up with your front pressed up against the door, panties pulled to the side, and his cock buried to the hilt inside you

after he cums, he pulls your panties back into place and gives you a harsh swat on the ass, not caring that your make up is a little smudged or that your legs are jello while he's giving you that smug look he wears so well

"Enjoy your night out, Mrs. Price. Hurry home."

♡ Gaz:

he's on you before you even walk out of the bathroom after you finish your hair

wraps his arms around your waist, puts his chin on your shoulder, tells you how pretty you look

"This dress new? Haven't seen it on the floor before."

ohhhhh, he is so down bad for you, even after as long as you've been together

makes it a point to grab a quick selfie bc he knows it's a solid confidence booster, and he wants you to feel as beautiful as you look

it doesn't really cross his mind that anyone would try anything on you - you're perfectly capable of taking care of yourself, and he knows who you'll come home to; he knows who's bed you'll be in tonight, who's name you'll be calling in the dark

he even helps you pick the right shoes, even though you know he picks his favorite pair in hopes of seeing you in just those when you get home

ever the gentleman, he walks you out to your car, reminds you to drive safe, call him if you have too much to drink, etc.

he does, however, make it a point to send you some downright raunchy texts and a photo of his more... physical reaction, just in case you needed some motivation to come home a little early

when you get home (early), he's still riled up; he's too impatient to wait for you to make it upstairs, much less to unzip your dress for you, so you end up riding him on the landing until he's too tongue-tied to keep telling you how hot you look

♡ Soap:

you're not making it out of the house. Period.

the SECOND Johnny lays eyes on you, it's over

he's grabby as hell, digging his fingers into any part of you that he can - squeezing your ass, your hips, your thighs, tits, tummy, anything - while he navigates you to the nearest surface

"Yer so fuckin' pretty, baby. Never seen something so fuckin' perfect in my god damn life."

it doesn't matter if you end up on the couch, the kitchen counter, in the back yard; he's eating your pussy like a death row prisoner's last meal until you're crying, trying to wrench his head away with the hair tangled in your fist

he has your dress bunched up around your waist, straps pulled down so he can play with your nipples, but uses the whole garment as leverage while he fucks you stupid

you should've known better than to put a t-bone in front of a starving dog and expect it not to bite

"Go ahead, bonnie; text your little friends, tell them you're not gonna make it, yeah?"

♡ Ghost:

"'course, love. Have fun, be careful, call me if you need a ride."

Simon isn't too worried initially; he knows there isn't going to be a single soul in that bar willing or able to face his wrath should anything untoward happen. but then he actually sees what you're wearing, and all bets are off

that's why he follows you, he tells himself, it has nothing to do with the insatiable urge to destroy your ability to walk tomorrow

nothing trumps your safety, in terms of his priorities. he's simply here to look out for his wife, right?

wrong. he spends the next hour and a half watching you from a darkened corner of the bar while his palms itch with a need to touch

opportunity knocks when you excuse yourself from the table, and he follows you into the restroom, slipping in before you have a chance to lock the door

you're not surprised to see him (duh, you know him better than just about anyone), but you are surprised to find yourself bent over the sink, looking Simon in the eye through his reflection. he's fucking you mercilessly, spewing absolute filth while he pulls your head back by your hair

"My perfect little whore, hmm? Waltzing around in that tiny dress, wearing my fuckin' ring, rubbin' it in everyone's faces that you only open those pretty legs for me."

he wants to cum on your face, but you pout about the possibility of it getting in your eye, or worse, on your dress, so he settles for letting you swallow it instead

his impulses return not much longer after you return to your table; instead, he texts you that he's ready to head out, and you are all too quick to oblige

[phoward89]

Banner by me, dividers by @saradika-graphics

Based on this ask

Love Is A Losing Game

The avox stood against the wall, waiting for you to beckon, while you sat in your sunroom with your longtime best friend, Livia. You were at a small table drinking tea and listening to her complain about her toddler, Plutarch.

“Ugh. I swear, I can't even go to the powder room without him following me.” Reaching for a biscuit, your dirty blonde friend sighed, “I told Hilarious that we need to hire a nanny, but he said no.”

She took a small bite of her biscuit as you sipped on your tea. You didn't know why she was so upset about her toddler wanting to spend time with her. And you told her so too.

“You just don't understand how demanding motherhood is, Y/N. Just you wait and see.” Pointing to your round belly, Livia factually remarked, “In a few more months when you pop out Coriolanus’ little brat you'll be singing a different tune.”

“Don't call Cassian Xandros a little brat.” You snippily ordered your friend, causing her to just roll her eyes at you. Setting down your teacup, you decided to change the subject to something that you needed to get off your chest; something that's been eating away at your mind. “I think Coryo's having an affair.”

“He's only been president for a few months, Y/N. If word got out, well, it'd be scandalous and I'm sure his political career would be dead in the water.” Livia told you while nibbling on her lemon butter biscuit. “Do you know with whom?”

“No, but I know he has to be having an affair, Livia. I mean he comes and goes at all hours and half the time he's not even coming to bed; we haven't slept together in a while too.”

“Oh no, now that is a problem.” The dirty blonde socialite sighed. “I bet it's Clemensia Dovecote that he's cheating with. You don't know, since you were a couple grades below us at the Academy, but they were always walking into the school linked arm in arm. Even though they denied it, they looked like a couple back then.” Livia bluntly informed you, picking up her teacup and sipping it.

“Really? I didn't know that.” You honestly told your friend. Reaching for your own teacup, you revealed the name of the person you thought your husband had a thing for back in his Academy days. “Coryo was always with Sejanus back then; I always got the vibe that they were a little bit more than just friends.”

“Oh I hope not. He was district.” Livia spat out; the thought of the president having a past love affair with a district person making her skin crawl.

If only she knew about what went down between him and Lucy Gray. Oh, she'd shit her pants if she knew about that.

You know, of course, since he told you about it after a year of dating. When you had to all but pull his teeth to get him to reveal why he refused to tell you that he loved you; show you anything other than lust and his OCD tendencies.

It didn't bother you.

Correction, him having Lucy Gray as his ex and his failed first love didn't bother you, but the number that she did on him- now that’s what bothered you.

She fucked his head up pretty bad; took you a long time to unfuck it up too. To get him to be able to confess his love to you.

But somewhere deep inside of your soul, you always feared that Coryo was just telling you what you wanted to hear. That he didn't truly love you; that he could turn to somebody else once he got bored of you.

“Yea…but they were close friends. Like brothers” You reminded Livia. “And his death hit Coriolanus hard.”

That was an understatement. Your husband still had nightmares about his fellow comrade’s death. It happened a decade ago, but he was still haunted some nights by nightmares. Those nights you usually had to ride his cock to calm him down so he’d be able to go back to sleep.

He never talked about the nightmares, other than the one time he told you that it was about Sejanus’ death. You never pried, knowing that the Plinth boy's execution was a taboo topic for Coriolanus.

The socialite rolled her eyes, only to suggest, “If you think he's having an affair then you should wait up for him tonight and confront him.” Giving you a look from over her teacup, she added in, “It's what I would do.”

Coriolanus was exhausted. No, wait, take that back- he was FUCKING exhausted.

Between trying to clean up the fucking mess that older then dirt President Ravenstill left for him and trying to ensure a smooth transition of head gamemaker duties to his successor (a recent University grad that sadly didn't know his ass from a hole in the ground), he was stretched too thin.

Burning the candle at both ends as one might say.

He was barely sleeping; worse he was barely able to spend anytime with you.

You were 6 months pregnant with his first child.

A son.

He felt guilty for being in his office on the opposite side of the presidential palace or at the Citadel, but he didn't have a choice. The games along with trying to keep the country afloat was his top priority.

As much as he wanted to spend his late afternoons and evenings with you, he couldn't. And he wanted nothing more than to fuck you dumb on his dick every night too, but sadly he was just too tired anymore for that either.

When the new Head Gamemaker calls up in the middle of the night frantically asking what to do if an intern falls into a mutt tank…well…yea…that's when Coriolanus knows he has to do two jobs instead of just one.

He's stuck puppeteering the new head gamemaker *cough* telling him step by step how to do is damn job since he fucking fudged his job application and has shit for brains *cough* and running a country that's national bank account’s lower than it should be *cough* looks like President Ravenstill and his cabinet were embezzling funds or something cause the numbers aren't adding up *cough*.

“Yes, well, if you need any more assistance on this matter don't hesitate to call.” Coriolanuse tightly told the Head Gamemaker. The man was grating on his nerves. Before the unqualified idiot could utter a word, the president said goodbye and hung up.

Hung up with a firm, loud, clunk since he was so tired and aggravated.

Unfortunately, the president was always tired anymore. He was even too tired to fuck you these days, which was truly depressing for him since your Coryo felt you were even more beautiful now that your belly's round with his child.

Coriolanus felt that your pregnancy makes you look radiant. Your skin had a glow to it, he felt you look ethereal.

Your tits were full from the milk your body was making in order to feed your son once he was born; he loves your milk heavy boobs. Coriolanus Snow’s a tits and ass man; so your boobs going up by 2 sizes was heaven for him. The president enjoys sucking and massaging them in his large, calloused hands while you ride his cock. Burying his face in them, peppering kisses in your cleavage.

Something his exhaustion has been keeping him from doing.

Also, your ever growing belly (full of the precious life you created during a very passionate and lustful night 6 months prior) made his chest swell with a burning pride. Coriolanus loves kissing your stretch marks and running his hands all over your belly.

He also enjoys whispering to your belly, telling your growing son all kinds of father-son secrets.

But he’s been too tired and tied up with his never ending work to do that ritual.

Half the time he was passing out on the sofa in his office before he could even make it to your room; the other half of the time he was sliding into bed in the wee hours while you were in a deep sleep.

He hated it.

But he has to endure it because he refuses to have the games flop during his first year as President of Panem.

When Coryo dragged his feet into your large, ornate bedroom he wasn't expecting you to be up, waiting for him. He assumed you'd be asleep, like every other night.

“It's nearly 2 in the morning, Y/N. Why aren't you sleeping? You know you need proper sleep in your condition, my darling rose.” Your husband lectured you, tiredly fumbling to untie his tie.

You decided to do what LIvia suggested. Wait for your husband and confront him. So, when he shuffles into your room, a sight for sore eyes, with the nerve to lecture you about being up, you lost it.

Your eyes narrowed at the president as you snipped out, “Coriolanus, I know you're cheating on me. Who is she? Is it Clemensia Dovecote or somebody else?”

Pulling his tie off and tossing it to the side, he looked at you as if you had lobsters crawling out of your head. You’re accusing him of having an affair. Seriously?

“With how I’m spread too thin, darling, where would I ever find the time for an affair?” Coriolanus chuckled.

He thought this was funny, oh how dare he!

“This isn't funny, Coriolanus! You're coming and going at all hours; we never sleep together anymore. Who is she?!” You yelled at the top of your lungs, watching your husband unbutton his waistcoat and take it off.

The platinum blonde’s long fingers numbly unbuttoned his shirt. His tone was flat and tired as he gave you the blunt answer of, “The she that's taking all of my attention off of you, my love, is the shaky finances of Panem and the Hunger Games.”

All of the air was knocked out of your lungs upon hearing your husband's words. All you could do was blink. “What?” you whispered in disbelief.

Coryo's shirt hit the floor, in the pile his red waistcoat and tie was in. Toeing out of his shoes, he sighed, “Being president and passing the baton for the games to an under qualified head gamemaker, unfortunately, has taken up all my time.” Unbuckling his belt and pulling down his deep crimson pants, he offered up a sincere apology of, “I’m sorry, my darling rose, that my neglect made you think, even for a moment, that I’m being unfaithful to you.” His pants pooled around his long, pale legs, and he gracefully stepped out of them. “Y/N, I truly did not mean for you to feel such a way, my love.”

Watching your husband pull off his socks and toss them to the side, you cried tears of joy. “I forgive you; I'm just happy that it's work taking up your attention and not some whore.”

Coriolanus tiredly made his way over to the king-sized bed you shared and climbed into it. Pulling you into his arms, he let out a puzzled scoff of, “Clemmie? Really, of all people to accuse me of having an affair with it's her?”

“I didn't accuse you of cheating with her; that was actually Livia this afternoon when I told her that I suspected you of having an affair.” You informed your husband as he pulled the blankets over the both of you.

“You told that bitch you thought I was cheating on you?!” Coryo exclaimed, his nostrils flaring; baby blues wide in utter horror.

“Don't call Livia a bitch, Coriolanus.” You reprimanded your husband, only to remind him that, “She's my best friend.”

“I don't know how you're best friends with that shrew, darling.” Coriolanus mumbled mostly to himself, even though you heard him. His large, calloused hand rubbed your ever growing baby bump softly. “Telling Livia your ill founded fears was a mistake. She'll just tell that political reject husband of her’s; he'll be calling up Capitol News 6 with a juicy insider story about the unfaithful president.” Coryo’s tongue popped angrily. “My fake affair’s going to be the the main news headliner tomorrow morning, my darling rose.”

“No, it won't, Coryo.” You assured your husband since you had too much faith in your best friend.

Your husband on the other hand didn't have faith in Livia Cardew-Heavensbee, at all. No, he didn't trust her after the temper tantrum she through when her mother informed her that he was courting you, General Prometheus Byzantine’s step-daughter, and had refused to meet with the Cardews regarding a money match.

Coriolanus never told you about that because he didn't want to taint your friendship with the dirty blonde shrew, who only married Hilarious because she couldn't have him: the adoptive heir to the Plinths fortune.

But now maybe it was time to tell you. Maybe it was time to taint and ruin a girlhood friendship of yours.

Only to ensure that you wouldn't trust anyone that didn't carry the Snow name.

Yes, the only people you could trust were him and Tigris. He was even leery about Tigris’ new lover, Aleka. Eh, but that was because his spies haven't been able to dig up enough information on them for the president to decide whether or not they were trustworthy.

But, he's sure that after he tells you the truth about Livia that you'll be rethinking that friendship.

And when (not if) that article hits the news as the big headliner, he'll make sure to invite Hilarious over for drinks.

Drinks that only one of them will enjoy.

Snow lands on top and he'll make sure that anybody who slanders his good name or makes you believe he's an unfaithful man, when he's actually the most devoted and faithful husband in all of Panem, chokes on their own blood.

Tags: @kuroosbby001, @purriteen, @poppyflower-22, @meetmeatyourworst, @whipwhoops, @bxtchopolis, @readingthingsonhere,@savagenctzen, @ryswritingrecord, @erikasurfer, @tulips2715, @universal-s1ut, @thesmutconnoisseur, @squidscottjeans, @sudek4l, @wearemadeofstardust0, @mashiromochi, @gracieroxzy, @belcalis9503, @shari-berri, @aoi-targaryen , @whiteoakoak @spear-bearing-bi-witch, @gisellesprettylies @loverandqueenofdragons, @qoopeeya, @mfnqueen1

[rey-jake-therapist]

Sauron, Galadriel and touch

Each time we see Sauron hug someone, touch their arms or their hair, put his arms around their shoulders etc. it's never gratuitous. He always has an agenda. He does that to manipulate them in a way or another, or to steal them something. He isn't a touchy type of guy, really.. I think he probably dislikes it, most of the time.

In Elendil's case, he probably didn't just pickpocket him but used some magic trick as well, because there's no way Elendil wouldn't have noticed. Not to mention that the dagger literally disappeared from Halbrand's hands up until he gave it back to Galadriel. Anyway, he still hugged Elendil to distract him from what was happening. There was not a bit of sincerity in that move.

Later, he put his hand on the smith's shoulder in an attempt to convince him to take him at his service. It was meant to be a reassuring gesture : "trust me bro, I'm the best !"

In this case, it was slightly different :

Sauron did that to steal Tamar's guild crest, so the intention was similar to when he hugged Elendil. But this time, he didn't do it discreetly. We know now that even as Halbrand (so not in full possession of the powers he had as Annatar), he was able to make his blood look red; so he could have easily projected the image of the guild's crest on Tamar's tunique, to make him think it was still there.

But see, Tamar offended him. He recalled him that Galadriel would probably never want him (though not because he was a "low man", but because he was the very evil she sought to destroy), and Sauron didn't like that. So what he did was provoking Tamar by stealing his crest in plain sight, so Tamar would follow him and give him the excuse he waited for, to do that :

We can also count that as touching, I guess ? But tell me again that Sauron wasn't interested in Galadriel romantically... It makes total sense for him to lose his shit because some man implied he wasn't good enough for her, right...

(I'll later write another meta about the few times that Sauron loses control. It doesn't happen often, but when it does, it's hot terrifying).

In season 2, I think we saw him touch Mirdania twice, and maybe once for Celebrimbor ? Though I can't find a gif of Sauron touching him except when he grabbed him at the end, so I'm not sure about that.

I've already discussed several times, including today, how Mirdania was a stand-in for Galadriel, so I won't go back to that here. Sauron doesn't feel any affection for Mirdania: wether he touches her hair and hand to manipulate her, or because she reminds him of Galadriel, or most likely, for both, it is, again, not gratuitous and not genuine.

And as for being touched... Oh boy, he doesn't like that at all. His reaction is most of the time him pulling a disgusted "how dare you touching me, you miserable worm ?" face.

This scene in particular was hilarious in this regard. He was very upset by Celebrimbor's refusal to forge rings for men, and Celebrimbor unwillingly added to the offence by giving him a condescending pat on the arm. Sauron probably had a hard time refraining the urge to murder Celebrimbor on the spot, here.

The Galadriel Case

Her case is special, as usual. Until episode 8, Sauron never touches her without her consent : after they arrive in Numenor, he invites it, but doesn't force it on her. it's supposed to be a "friendly" handshake symbolizing peace and a mean to give her Finrod's dagger back, but, well, hmm...

It's just straight out flirting. The way he looks straight into her eyes while pulling her to him, his weird conception of personal space... I can't NOT tag @apoloadonisandnarcissus 's thread about the Freudian symbolism in Haladriel interactions... It's worth reading. There was nothing friendly/platonic in his behavior, but, again... no unnecessary touching here.

Galadriel remains equally guarded towards him, even after she spends time with him and considers him as a "friend". As Sauron in episode 3, she only invites it, on the boat that takes them to the Southlands.

Even when she gives him back his pouch, in the forge, she does it in a way that her fingers barely touch his.

When she finds him wounded, she touches him where he's wounded, to check how serious it is. She could take his hand to comfort him, but.... Nope.

And yet, she's not usually that guarded with her friends, those with whom she shares a (truly) platonic relationship with, as we can see with Elrond and Arondir.

It's definitely not because she doesn't trust Halbrand/Sauron. She does, or she wouldn't be that heartbroken over him in season 2. No, I think she keeps him at arm's length because what she feels for him is not platonic at all, and she wants to keep her feelings in check. Keeping her distance with him (physically) is the way for her to do that, or so she thinks.

Now, back to Sauron. While during all season 1 he was never touchy with Galadriel, in episode 8, he suddenly is.

Not only that but he's also very flirtatious, like... more than usual.

Galadriel seems surprised with this unsolicited touching, and iffy, because she doesn't trust him anymore. She has just asked one of her fellow Elves to look in the catacombs of Eregion for everything they had about the Southlands and their royal lineage; after she heard Celebrimbor talk about "power over flesh" and seen Sauron enthusiastically offer his aid to the smith, she starts suspecting that Halbrand may be not who he claims to be.

Coincidence ? I think not. Even if she remained discreet, Sauron probably felt that something was off. He's very observant, and he knows her mind. If she changed of attitude with him, if she seemed even a little bit wary of him, there's no doubt he noticed it.

He certainly planned to tell her the truth about him very soon, at that point, but he also wants the rings to be forged so he could show her what they'd do with them. So this, imho, is Sauron buying time. He knows she's attracted to him, he may even know she's in love with him... I think he's trying to breach her defenses, here.

Did he succeed, even for the few weeks that separated this scene from the Sauron revelation ? That, we don't know. I'd say probably not, because just before the Elf brought her the records she asked for, she doesn't look like someone who trusts him again.

But then she's still in denial about him even after he admits he isn't the king of the Southlands, going as far as claiming he convinced Miriel to go help the Southlands, while it was her idea entirely... So who knows what happened during these three weeks. It's also possible she didn't suspect him to be Sauron, of all people. And anyways, she loves him. She definitely hoped till he revealed himself that he had a good explanation for everything.

Yesterday I published this post very late, and it's only this morning that I realized I omitted to mention a couple of other very important touches... Stupid me.

How could I forget the chin grab ?

We're in full "unsolicited touching" territory here. Personal boundaries be damned ! The chin grab has several connotations here : it's coded as romantic, but it's also an act of dominance and control, though there's no brutality at all in his gesture. Sauron wants Galadriel to look at him, aka to face the truth : he's still the man she loves, but he's also the monster she hates. They both coexist, in him, hence why the claims that "Halbrand never existed" or "Galadriel loved Halbrand but doesn't love Sauron" are both nonsenses and a complete misunderstanding of the season 1 finals. Galadriel knows who he is in this scene, and yet she's tempted.

The act of grabbing the chin is in itself controlling/dominating, but there's also tenderness : he's gentle, he caresses her cheek almost shyly; he wants her trust for Halbrand back, not her fear of Sauron. He wants to show her that she's loved, but you can feel that if she asked him to take his hand off her, he would back off.

Finally, this post ends with Sauron taking Galadriel's hands into his, with her holding Finrod's dagger.

You know, what he did with Morgoth's crown in season 2, binding her to him through a forced blood oath ? He wanted to do almost exactly that in season 1 already, and that's what this scene implies. Except in this scenario, Galadriel would have been ok with it: it would haven't been a metaphorical rape, but the closest to a consensual sex scene we'd have gotten in this show, if they had followed this route.

I'm not saying I wanted this, just to be clear: Galadriel was tempted to join Sauron in this scene, but it would have been a major breach to the LOTR lore if she had. "Touching the darkness", in Finrod's and Galadriel's minds, was never about embracing it wholeheartedly. It was precisely where Galadriel and Sauron's visions diverge. She knows it will never be the way. She knows she'd end up being a tyrant if she succombed to the temptation, and that's why she rejected it, and Sauron with it.

[chrisevansonly]

𝐨𝐬𝐜𝐚𝐫’𝐬 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥 | 𝐨𝐬𝐜𝐚𝐫 𝐩𝐢𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐢

✯social media au

✯oscar piastri x female reader

✯everyone know’s who oscar’s girl is, she makes it known

✯not requested but wanted to pop out an oscar post today! if anyone has any smau requests feel free to pop them in my inbox🩷

y/ninstagram

liked by oscarpiastri, wmagazine, mclaren and 745,000 others

what would i do without the most amazing bf who takes the most amazing pictures of his most amazing gf in the entire world 😁

tagged oscarpiastri

see 101,000 comments

username why is this caption sending me rn

username nah because she’s SO fine

landonorris this caption is sus, what did you do?

>y/ninstagram what makes you think i did anything norris??

oscarpiastri i love you most amazing gf

oscarpiastri also yeah i know u ate the last cookie

>y/ninstagram i love youuuuuuuuuu🥹

liked by oscarpiastri

username oscar and y/n are legit made for each other idc

y/ninstagram added to their story!

oscarpiastri do you need anything?

y/ninstagram a body that doesn’t hate me?

oscarpiastri kk on it 🫡

y/ninstagram my hero!!!!

oscarpiastri

liked by landonorris, y/ninstagram, wagsoff1 and 876,000 others

throwing it back to F2 to show these pics 100% give off the same energy

tagged y/ninstagram

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username PLS😭

username y/n looks so done i’m here for it

y/ninstagram you know what…

>oscarpiastri you love me? 😃

y/ninstagram i see how it is

landonorris *saves photo immediately*

>y/ninstagram 😐😐😐

username y/n is gonna be fighting for her life in these comments

mclaren we definitely agree with this caption

liked by oscarpiastri and y/ninstagram

oscarpiastri added to their story!

*comments disabled*

y/ninstagram added to their story!

*comments disabled*

y/ninstagram

liked by landonorris, lilyhme, oscarpiastri and 1M others

the three stooges, idk how i get roped into these things…oh wait i do, because oscar asks and i love him too much to say no😃

tagged landonorris, oscarpiastri

see 203,000 comments

username okay the trio we need

username wait this friend group is EVERYTHING

landonorris don’t lie you loved twister

>y/ninstagram if you love getting ur stinky foot in your face sure

>landonorris IT WAS AN ACCIDENT

lilyhme im living for the chaos

>y/ninstagram save me :)))

username THESE COMMENTS

oscarpiastri thank you for always joining in!!!! ❤️

>y/ninstagram only for you 🙄

oscarpiastri added to their story!

*comments disabled*

oscarpiastri

liked by y/ninstagram, f1gossip, landonorris and 989,000 others

y/n was offended i called her a gremlin, so i’m here to remind everyone she’s not a gremlin, she’s my very sweet, amazing, loving, caring most beautiful(est) girlfriend ever in the whole world ❤️

tagged y/ninstagram

see 324,000 comments

username caption seemed coerced??

>y/ninstagram what are you talking about?

username PLEASE😭

y/ninstagram i didnt force him to say anything

y/ninstagram he’s just really letting everyone know how great i am and how much he loves me🥰

>oscarpiastri 😃😃😃😃

landonorris HAHAHA HIS FACE RN😭

>y/ninstagram send a pic or ur not a real friend

username oh this is fucking hilarious

mclaren is oscar being held against his will?

>y/ninstagram never 🥰

y/ninstagram

liked by cosmopolitan, oscarpiastri, wagsoff1 and 765,000 others

another great gp weekend with the best man ever❤️❤️ (no he was never held against his will😁)

tagged oscarpiastri

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username these two are endgame for me

username PLS y/n clearing the air yet again

username mother is mothering

oscarpiastri it was a great weekend, minus the kidnapping

>y/ninstagram you’re so dramatic it was not a kidnapping

>landonorris hmm debatable

>y/ninstagram NORRIS

username 😭😭😭

lilyhme chaos again?

>y/ninstagram it never ends:)))

[literaila]

Need more gojo reader smoochfest

“remember this one?”

you’re a little bit dizzy, by now. you can’t remember how long, or when all of this started—but the end result isn’t necessarily unpleasant.

you hadn’t wanted to join nanami and shoko (and gojo whoever that is) for a drink—after a long day, three too many outfit changes, and a bed that you missed like an old childhood friend.

but your complaints are only partially heard, and satoru tends to drag you along wherever he goes, like a doll.

currently, though, you don’t really mind that.

gojo is not drunk, but you definitely are.

that’s why, mind you, when satoru spins you around again on the sticky linoleum floor, in this shitty bar that is definitely too small for dancing—you stumble a little.

but satoru’s hand is right there on your waist, keeping you steady and making sure that you don’t run into anyone that could be passing by.

usually he would let you trip and fall and spill someone’s drink down their shirt—because that would be hilarious—but you’re drunk, and he’s not and…

he enjoys taking care of you, when he gets the chance.

“no,” you say, giggling, when you’re spun back to him. “but i don’t think you should do it again.”

he’s grinning down at you. “why not?”

“because i might puke.”

satoru snorts, slowing his dancing down a little bit—because you really are swaying. “cute.”

“i know. aren’t you glad you married me?”

his eyes are covered but they’re sparkling (or you’re hallucinating). “very glad,” he says, with all the swagger that his seventeen year old self had.

that is to say, absolutely none.

but you lean in anyway, drunk and giddy and sweet, and brush your nose against his.

and satoru complies, like he always does, so his breath tickles your mouth and one of his hand finds its way to your jaw.

you kiss him once, just a slight peck, and pull back. you’ve always been a tease, but you usually reserve it for at home.

not now, though, when he’s so focused on only you, and so close that he could swallow you whole.

dancing always reminds you of satoru proposing, of letting him guide you wherever he wants to go in some sick metaphor about love and torture, the cure and the curse.

and, goddamnit, you’ve always been a sappy drunk. you’re going to regret this in the morning—especially because satoru has the upper hand here.

you told him you loved him for the first time because you were drunk.

and so, “i think im in love you,” you say now, again, just to get him to smile.

“then don’t tease me,” his tone is stern, a bit whiny, but you can see his dimples now.

“it’s so fun, though.”

“everything’s fun when you’re drunk.”

“tipsy.”

“okay, baby.”

“and everything’s fun with you.”

satoru’s mouth opens, his canines glittering in the dim light of the bar, and then he scoffs, “you—“ but he never finishes the sentence because his hand moves to the back of your head and he’s kissing you again.

you settle on your tip toes to reach him, sighing as he pulls you closer.

and you’re not moving now, nonetheless dancing, but who the hell cares?

satoru bites at your bottom lip, as punishment for being in love with him, and allows you to wrap your hands around his neck, drawing circles with your fingertips.

your body is so heavy and uneven, but it’s easy to kiss him like this. you’re not self conscious about the other people because satoru will keep them away from you both, and you’re not worried about breathing because why would you need to breathe when you could be kissing him?

still, eventually he pushes you back, setting his hands on your shoulders so you don’t fall. and he grins at you again, cheeky. “i think i love you, too.”

“oh, good. or this would be awkward.”

he kisses you again, a bit softer, but it’s not even a kiss, really.

because you’re both just laughing into each other, and everything seems so funny for a moment that you just let it happen. if you could rank the moments in time, kissing satoru like this would be very close to the top.

and someone probably shouts at you to get a room—but who cares anyway?

[insomniac4000]

Useless Hotline Crush- George Clarke

George Clarkeey adjusted his headset, a mixture of nerves and excitement bubbling under his usual confident exterior. Across from him, Max Balegde lounged in his chair, grinning mischievously as he scrolled through the show notes for this week’s episode of The Useless Hotline.

Their guest? None other than Y/N, a rising star in the YouTube and TikTok world, whose hilarious skits and uncanny impressions had skyrocketed her to internet fame. George had mentioned her more than a few times on the podcast, enough for the listeners to pick up on his admiration and maybe a little more. The speculations of a crush had been building for weeks, and now, she was about to be sitting across from him. George was feeling the full weight of their playful teasing, he knew that Max was not going to let him off easy either and it started just how George had expected.

“Alright, George,” Max said, snapping him out of his thoughts. “Are you ready to meet your favorite internet sensation?”

“Oh, shut up,” George muttered, but his cheeks turned pink.

Max laughed and leaned into the mic. “Ladies and gentlemen, give a warm welcome to the incredibly talented, ridiculously funny, and dare I say, George-approved Y/N!”

The studio door opened, and Y/N walked in with a big smile, waving at the cameras and settling into the guest seat. “Thanks for having me! Big fan of the show.”

“Big fan of you,” George blurted out before his brain could catch up. Max stifled a laugh as George’s face turned beet red. “I mean, uh, your videos. Big fan of your videos. Let’s get you a drink, I know I could do with one.

Y/N’s laugh was warm and genuine, easing some of George’s nerves. “Well, I’m flattered. And honestly, George, you’re pretty funny yourself. Your impression of that influencer with the fake apology? Iconic.”

“Oh, thank you,” George said, his voice slightly higher than usual. “Coming from the queen of impressions, that means a lot.”

Max raised an eyebrow at the exchange, his grin widening. “Alright, enough flirting. Let’s get into it. Y/N, how did you get started making content?”

Y/N leaned forward slightly, her enthusiasm shining through. “Honestly, it started as a bit of a joke. I was in uni, absolutely broke, and my friends and I would mess around making little videos. One day, I did an impression of our lecturer that was so spot-on, they dared me to post it. I did, and somehow it blew up. From there it just kind of snowballed really.”

“Snowballed is an understatement,” Max said. “You’ve got millions of followers now. What do you think sets your content apart?”

“I think it’s a mix of things,” Y/N replied thoughtfully. “I try to keep my humour relatable, you know? Like, we’ve all been in awkward situations or dealt with people who are… let’s say, a bit much. And I love poking fun at those universal experiences. Plus, I’m a bit of a perfectionist when it comes to my skits. I’ll redo them a hundred times if I have to, no one needs to see the hours of footage on the cutting room floor,” she laughed.

“That’s dedication,” George said, his admiration clear. “Do you ever feel pressure to keep topping yourself?”

“Absolutely,” Y/N admitted. “It’s easy to get caught up in the numbers and the pressure to go viral. But I try to remind myself why I started was to make people laugh. As long as I’m doing that, I’m happy.”

“Speaking of laughs,” Max interjected, “we’ve got to talk about your impressions. They’re uncanny. Do you have a favourite one?”

Y/N grinned. “Oh, that’s a tough one. I think my favourite changes depending on my mood. But people seem to love my impression of the overly peppy yoga instructor.”

“Can we get a little sample?” George asked, leaning forward eagerly, he knew exactly what she was talking about but it was for the sake of the audience who hadn’t seen anything, plus there was a part of him that was really excited to see her stuff in person.

“Alright, but don’t judge me,” Y/N said, slipping effortlessly into character. She clasped her hands in front of her chest and adopted an overly serene tone. “Okay, everyone, let’s just breathe out the negative vibes despite your life falling apart and breathe in the overpriced smoothie and retreat I’m about to sell you which you will definitely need after this.”

George and Max burst into laughter, George clapping his hands together. “That’s brilliant. Honestly, you’ve got the tone and everything down perfectly.”

“Thanks,” Y/N said, laughing along with them. “It’s one of my go-to’s because it’s just so fun to exaggerate. Anyway how do you know how perfect it is? I didn’t have you down as a yoga expert.” George’s face then went red.

“Alright, George,” Max said, turning to him with a wicked grin. “Your turn. Do an impression.”

George groaned, though the smile on his face suggested he didn’t mind. “Fine. I’ll do my influencer apology.” He cleared his throat and put on an exaggeratedly solemn expression. “Hi, guys. I’ve made a severe and continuous lapse in my judgment. I’m here to take accountability, even though I don’t really mean it. Please don’t cancel me, because I’ve got a brand deal coming up.”

Y/N was practically doubled over with laughter. “That is terrifyingly accurate. The pause before ‘accountability’ was perfect.”

“I’ve had a lot of practice,” George said with a wink. “What about you, Y/N? Have you ever had to make an apology video?”

“Thankfully, no,” she said, shaking her head. “But now that you’ve done that impression, I’m kind of tempted to make a parody one. Just in case I ever need it, you know?”

“We’ll co-write it,” George offered. “Guaranteed viral hit.”

Max leaned back, watching the exchange with a knowing smirk. “You two are dangerous together. I can see it now: Y/N and George take over TikTok. The internet won’t know what hit it.”

Y/N laughed. “Hey, I’m down. As long as George can keep up with my filming schedule.”

“Oh, I’m ready,” George said, his confidence returning. “Let’s make it happen.”

The rest of the interview flew by, covering everything from Y/N’s dream collaborations to her favourite TikTok trends. By the time they wrapped up, the chemistry between her and George was undeniable, leaving Max plenty of material for teasing in future episodes.

As Y/N said her goodbyes and left the studio, Max turned to George with a sly look. “Mate, you’re not even subtle.”

“Shut up,” George mumbled, but the grin on his face was undeniable.

The comments had noticed too;

Did anyone else notice how George kept stuttering a little at the beginning like he was nervous?

George finally got his dream guest!!

So we’re all in agreement that George is smitten, right? Can we make this a thing? Because I need them to collab again ASAP!

Max teasing George is literally the only reason I’m still alive. But honestly, George’s soft spot for Y/N is kind of sweet.

Two weeks later, the studio buzzed with the usual pre-show chaos. Today’s episode was one the listeners had been eagerly anticipating: a lie detector test. George and Max had hyped it up for days, promising spicy questions and no holds barred.

As the machine was set up and the cameras rolled, Max rubbed his hands together. “Alright, George, are you ready to expose your deepest, darkest secrets?”

“As ready as I’ll ever be,” George said, settling into the chair and strapping on the sensors.

The first few questions were tame. Max asked if George had ever stolen anything (“Yes,” and he passed), if he’d ever lied to a guest (“No,” and he passed), and if he thought Max was the funnier host (“No,” and he failed, prompting uproarious laughter).

Then came the question that made George’s stomach flip.

“Have you ever kissed a guest on this podcast?” Max asked, his eyes gleaming with mischief.

George’s answer was immediate. “No.” The machine’s green light confirmed the truth, and George exhaled in relief.

Max wasn’t done. “Do you want to kiss any guest?”

George froze, his mind racing. He forced a laugh, trying to play it cool. “No.”

The machine’s red light flashed.

Max’s eyes widened, and he leaned back in his chair, howling with laughter. “Oh my God, George! Who is it? Who do you want to kiss?”

George shook his head, his face burning. “I’m not saying anything. Next question.”

“You’re no fun,” Max teased, but the damage was done. The comments section exploded when the episode went live.

"It’s obviously Y/N. The way he acted when she was on the podcast? Dead giveaway."

"George, we’re onto you, mate. Just admit it already!"

"Max, bring Y/N back and grill George in real time. We need answers!"

George tried to ignore the speculation, but it was impossible to miss. And as much as he wanted to deny it, he couldn’t stop thinking about Y/N’s smile, her laugh, the way she’d lit up the studio. Maybe…just maybe, the comments weren’t entirely wrong.

There had been a couple of messages swapped here and there since the podcast appearance but nothing else, the way Max, Chris and Arthur were going on about it you would have thought they were getting married, but a few messages was more than George was ever expecting.

What he wasn’t expecting however was a message from her when the episode went live.

“Who’s this guy you want to kiss? It’s Isaac isn’t it?” The message teased.

“Why, jealous?” George’s heart thumped in his chest as he sent the response, he was getting really bold now, hopefully it wouldn’t scare her off. He stared at his phone for a while and his heart started beating fast as instead of a message his phone started to ring, why was she calling him? He glanced at the screen and froze for a moment before answering. “Y/N! Hey.”

“Hey, George,” Y/N said, her voice light. “My notifications have been blowing up with people tagging me in the comments of that video and the other one still asking for that collab. I know we mentioned it briefly but I was wondering if you were up for it and maybe we could plan something?

George perked up. “I think it’s a great idea. Your skits and impressions are amazing—I’d love to work on something with you.”

“Awesome. Maybe we could brainstorm some ideas together?”

“Yeah, for sure,” George said. “How about lunch sometime this week?”

There was a brief pause before Y/N replied, her tone teasing. “Lunch sounds nice, but how about dinner instead? You know, make it more of a proper meeting.”

George’s heart skipped a beat. “Dinner works too,” he said, trying to sound casual. “When are you free?”

“Friday night?” Y/N suggested.

“Perfect,” George said, his excitement barely contained. “I’ll text you the details.”

As they ended the call, George couldn’t stop grinning. Max would never let him hear the end of this, let alone Chris or either of the Arthur’s but for once, he didn’t mind.

[ladyelissarose]

Can you do like Hobie smut, your writing is GOOD.

Let it be a jealousy kinda thing I haven't seen much of Hobie being jealous

‘I’ll Show You Jealous’

Hobie Brown aka Spider-Punk x female spider-woman reader. (he calls her ‘webs’)

Trope; best friends to lovers

Warnings; 18+ Smut! NSFW. Jealous sex, it starts quite rough then ends soft. Hobie being Hobie- but jealous ;) slight fingering.. mostly smut y’all .

Summary: Being best friends shouldn’t have any feelings in between right? Especially jealousy when Hobie thinks your hanging around too close to a certain Spider-Man? What does it take for him to come to terms on how he ‘really’ feels?

Authors note; My favorite anon!! I’m sorry it took me a few days to get this out, but I’m glad to say it’s all yours now! I hope you like it, I’ve never written for Hobie before!! Enjoy love!!🫶🏼🌻

“You see? That’s why I think you’re one of the funniest! You’re hilarious and you get my humor!”

An effortless chuckle left your lips as your hand slipped off of Ben Riley’s back, where it had been first when you patted it.

You two had just come back from a short mission, which was as per usual… putting an anomaly where it belonged, and making sure canon took place as it should. Hobie stood in the distance watching you both communicate so freely and happily, like if you had been best friends, like you were with Hobie. I mean, that’s all you too should of been.. best friends.

But in the pit of his stomach and behind his tough and sarcastic behavior about not liking commitment, all he wanted to do was commit his life to you, and make you more than his ‘best friend’. The only thing was.. he didn’t know how to tell or show you. So painfully he witnessed you give away your laughter and touch to someone else, if not others that weren’t him. So to avoid staring at this heartbreak, he went back to his universe.

Soon you had let Ben go and looked for the one that made you smile the biggest, warm your heart, and give you a certainty of safety and care no matter what crazy shit you two did. But, he was no where to be seen. A frown made it to your lips after you had checked everywhere, you even went up to Miguel’s lair to check if Hobie wasn’t lurking around and stealing his lunch- and yet, he wasn’t there. You sat for a minute and thought that maybe he went home, but… he always waited for you to come back from a mission, so you could eat together and go on a short ‘joy swinging’ across the universes.

Hoping you’d find him at his universe, you clicked on your gizmo and went to his place, falling in love with the aesthetic of it all as you arrived, and it reminding you of every detail about Hobie too. You swung around his home- he wasn’t there. At his favorite hideout clubhouse- he wasn’t there. Even stopped by the stand where he usually took a sweet bread or two without being seen- he wasn’t in sight. Finally stopping to take a break, you thought for a few seconds before it clicked for you.

“What the hell… where could you- oh! I know.”

What concerned you though about the place where he could possibly be, was the fact that you told each other that you’d go there if something was wrong or ‘a talk’ needed to happen, meaning it was very serious.

Upon arriving to the tallest skyscraper in your universe, you let out a sigh of relief as you found him there, playing a soft tune on his guitar.

You walked slowly towards him, knowing he’d feel your presence, as his spider senses would tell him immediately. You slid off your mask as you called out,

“Hobie?-“

Hobie’s shoulders tensed as he muttered immediately,

“Jus’ leave me be… please?”

Worry but you as you heard him, his slightly broken voice,

He’s never told you to leave him alone, instead the opposite, always subtly begging you to be around his presence, whether it was him lurking around with your favorite snack, or playing your favorite songs on his guitar. Hobie was smart, he found out ways to keep you around that didn’t include him actually telling or asking you to be… and so far it has worked like magic.

It was your smile that had him loosening up, the little squeals you let out when Mayday was being extra adorable, puppy eyes at the sight of kittens or his favorite of all time, your mere presence that gave him motive to fall for you.

With you he felt free and safe, he knew he’d give up an entire universe if that meant he could be with you. But lately as you’ve been given more privileges, you’ve been a little too absent for his liking, and he didn’t appreciate how you were hanging around Miguel and Ben Riley more than him.

Trust was something you too have built quite strongly sense the start of your friendship, and he should’ve confided in that trust and believe that you haven’t ghosted him for someone else… yet here he was… sadly plucking on his guitar strings to your favorite tune- ‘Vigilante Shit’… thinking that maybe you have.. but here you are. Speaking out to him as if you were desperate for him.

“Hobie please, I can help-“

“How’d you know I’d be here?”

With a scoff you recalled your guys’ words,

“We said we’d come here for something important.. and today I couldn’t find you anywhere.. so I thought this would be the place.. and here you are. So, what’s wrong Hobie?”

He then stood up and mumbled to himself,

“It’s nothing, I shouldn’t of come.”

Your spider senses heard him clearly tho, so before he was about to walk off you genuinely said,

“Hobie.. you know I’m here for you. Regardless of what it is.”

Hobie turned to you and walked close, watching how you didn’t walk back but stayed in place as his sassed,

“Are you sure? Didn’t think you’d be after being with everyone else all the time.”

You sensed his words, and could feel the weight of jealousy in them, it only caused you to realize that he felt just as protective of you, as you did for him… but you hid your jealousy better. So you took the chance to tease him,

“Are you jealous Hobie Brown-“

Rolling his eyes and crossing his arms he pouted defensively,

“No. Absolutely not-“

You tried to tease him more as you pushed the guitar on his shoulder,

“Then what’s wrong? Looks like you are jealous-“

He sent a playful snap at you so you wouldn’t touch his treasure as he did his best to reassure,

“Tis’ nothin’ webs… I promise.”

His closed off attitude told you it was more than nothing, and you wouldn’t have it.. not his half or full lies about what’s going on. Hobie was about to walk away past you, but you grabbed his arm and insisted,

“Hobie! If you don’t do or say something about what’s going on with you I will explo- MMPH!!”

His warm hands got a hold of your face, pressing a harsh kiss to your lips. Eyes going wide open at the shock his actions caused you, but you couldn’t pull yourself away.

Not when you could see the way he had his shut with force, and the how his long lashes that you were always jealous of brush over his cheeks… you couldn’t deny how much you loved every detail about him. Your heart fluttered at the feeling of the cool of his nose ring press up against your nose, and his soft breathing hitting you, his lip ring marking a place on your lip as he gave you a bruising kiss.

You didn’t realize how long it took you admiring what you’ve always loved about him before you reciprocated the kiss, brining him closer to you by the collar of his jacket. But he slightly pushed you away, and before you could interpret something wrong, he muttered against your lips,

“you think I’m jealous webs?”

With a short chuckle you replied with sass,

“I think you’re very jealous Hobie.”

He smirked and webbed you your hands in an instant, your eyes found his with matching glares, filled with desire. He then put you to lay on the edge of the building, your head leaning off as he growled,

“I’ll show you jealous.”

With expert hands he was able to find your hidden zipper and slide down your pants along with your panties, enough to free your cunt for him to touch. Your hands as they were webbed up, hung off the edge, dangling down, stretching you a bit. Hobie pulled you close to him by gripping your thighs tightly, then he tore the web off your wrists with the pick for his guitar.

You were just about to reach for him, but he pushed you back once again, and laying his pick between your teeth as he ordered,

“Love, you keep that there safe for me.. and these hands.. hold onto the edge… don’t touch me until I tell you.. understood?”

You nodded once, taking all his commands in, wanting to meet them all, but Hobie hovered his face over yours and asked calmly,

“Words love.. do you feel ok and safe?”

You knew if you had a problem with something he’d adjust the universe to your liking, but right now you felt good and desperation. So you worded with the pick in between,

“I feel goo’.. I just wan’ you… I nee’ you.”

Pressing a hard kiss to your lips, feeling his favorite metal pick touch him, it stirred him on to take you now. His fingers found your cunt and stuck two in, going knuckle deep as your were soaking and taking him smoothly. With pride he watched your face contort in pleasure, the most beautiful moans leaving your lips because of him.

Your chest heaved for air as he pumped harder and faster, wanting you to come apart by his hands. The beauty of the city lights below you couldn’t compare to you, you were far too bright and gorgeous, so many things at once you were and yet, you were the most fit and complete person he had ever seen.

Your walls squeezed around his fingers, informing him you were near as your moans turned into cries as well. He teased you a bit as he slowed the pace, hearing you cry for ‘him’ had him groan and feeling his pants tighten more.

“H-Hobie! Ah please! Please-“

“What do you want love-“

“More! More please..”

Your eyes teared up as you cried for him, wanting to feel more of him as he had spurred on your high then took it away. He sucked on his fingers, letting out a moan,

“Sweet as always love.. never doubted you..”

Hobie then kissed your face, letting you taste yourself on him as he took the pick from your lips and he unbuckled his pants, sliding them down as he worded to you,

“C’mere love.”

Latching onto him as your arms wrapped around him, he pulled you up into his lap, sitting where you were at the edge, while looking up to you as your face was almost right at his. You both were breathing hard as you ran your hands through his hair and rested the other on his neck, Hobie’s hands exploring your back and thighs while kissing your neck. It was an all new sensation you both felt, not wanting to end it and growing addicted by the second. Hobie’s cock rested between your thighs, hitting his stomach and leaking precum, it had you reaching for it and playing with the red tip. He pulled you in for a kiss as you began to take him into your hands. His hips bucked up as your hands slid up and down his large length, spreading his cum and rubbing the tip with your thumb. He was getting to his high not so slowly, your hands bringing him on faster than he thought, so he abruptly stopped you with a pleading voice,

“Please love, need to feel you.. ready?”

You were already lifting your hips over his tip as you responded,

“I’m so ready.”

It wasn’t long before you slid down on him, your soaked walls taking him in right away. Once he bottomed out you both knew deep down, that you wouldn’t last long.

He was so deep, his tip touching your cervix, Hobie picked you up as he gripped your thighs tightly, then he slid you back down, groaning into your lips at the pleasure he instantly felt. Hobie didn’t care and wasn’t afraid of the position he was in, as he sat at the edge of the skyscraper, with you in his lap taking all of him. He confided in his strength to withhold you, and make you feel good more than anything. You than began to bounce on his cock, letting out whimper’s and mewls when you slid back down, feeling the stretch overtake you. Hobie helped you speed up as he took control and moved his hips to meet you at every thrust. Warmth began to seep into your core again, but burning more this time. You pulled Hobie closer to you as you begged,

“I need you more- please!”

“I know my love.. me too.”

Hobie needed the same, and fully take control, so he changed positions and laid you on your back, wrapping your legs around his waist. You held onto his hands as they were above your head, and took a deep breath as you prepared for what came. With locked gazes, Hobie pulled back and thrusted into you right away, loving how you responded to him so well by clenching around him and moaning his name. Little by little he picked up his speed, knowing you both needed your much needed release, warmth engulfing you both as well as a passion for more.

Hobie railed into you now as he asked in between pants,

“Who do you belong to love?”

Breathing out a moan when he hit a particular spot, you cried out,

“Y-You! You Hobie!!”

Letting go of your hand to hold your hips down with extra force, Hobie punctuated each word with a harsh thrust,

“You. Sure. Love?”

Hitting your cervix every time had your toes curling and backs arching to him while you whimpered,

“Yes!! I’m yours Hobie Brown!!”

You could feel him throb inside of your walls, as you clenched around him, nearing your release. Hobie could feel the release nearing too, your warm walls taking him in and milking his precum into you. Now all he desired in that moment was for you to let go for him, and only him. Increasing his speed and piercing his grip into you, Hobie demanded with a sweet but firm tone,

“Beg for me love.. t-tell me who it is that is making you co-come.”

Doing his best to hold on a bit longer, Hobie awaited your answer, pleading from his heart that it’d be soon as he wished to claim you already and paint your walls with him. You clawed his back and pulled him closer, kissing his earlobe you then panted and moaned into his ear,

“Only you can Hobie.. please- ahh! Make me come- please please Hobie!”

His jealousy for you along with a new unlocked sensation… possessiveness, had him wanting to here you beg more.

“Beg me to make you come-“

He then lowered his hand to your clit, and began to rub tight circles around your bud, urging you to cry out in a desperate tone, tears evident that you were desperate.

“-AHH!! Oh Hobie! Please- please baby make me cum! Only y-you can!! So p-please!!”

Letting out a deep breath Hobie moaned into your hair,

“Come my love, come wi’ me.”

Feeling him pulsate along with his sharp thrusts, had you coming undone under his arms, coating his cock with your juices. Hobie brought you in for a deep kiss when he came, swallowing yours and his moans as he then slowly rode out both of your highs, wanting it to last a little longer. He was the opposite from how he started, which was rough… but now he gave gentle strokes, only pulling away when you told him it was too sensitive now. You were both out of breath and pulling away at once to catch some air, your chests touching from how close you were but also how much air you were taking in. Hobie gave your forehead a short but meaningful kiss before pulling away, but instead you pulled him in for a hug, hiding your face in his neck as you reassured him,

“I’ll only and always be yours Hobie Brown.. I promise.”

Hobie squeezed you tight and was grateful for your embrace, and he ran his fingers through your hair, as he returned the promise,

“I’ll be yours too love.. forever.”

Your eyes twinkled, as he confessed,

“I’m sorry I never made it clear webs.. but I do love you… very much so.”

With a soft peck you replied,

“I love you too… I always have Hobie.”

In a silence you too held each other, satisfied with your actions, more in love and thriving for more days like this to come.

Maybe this love making session was unexpected and out of the blue for the both of you, but it felt so right, and so good. A little breeze of wind then brushed by, causing you to shiver a bit in Hobie’s arms, a second didn’t go by when he suggested,

“Let’s get us home yeah? Don’ want ya to get cold lovie…”

Carefully he helped you put back on your suit, being extra touchy but extremely gentle as he zipped you up (but he didn’t do this before taking a look at your- his cunt now dripping from his cum.

Soon you too helped Hobie with his pants, and getting his guitar safely back into his hold. Both slipping on your masks, you were ready to swing home, but your legs were a little to wobbly for your liking. Hobie caught the slight stumble before holding you up and telling you,

“I’ll carry you home.. on my back lovie.”

With you tightly secured around him, he took off and swung towards home, going through the city so you could have the last look of the city night lights… as he knew it was one of your favorite parts of being Spider-Woman. Efficiently he swung by a stand full of flowers, plucking one off and easily giving it to you, a smile made it to your face as the rose was given to you with a brush of his hands touching yours. You blushed hard like if it was the first time he touched you, and hadn’t just made love to you on the tallest building of your city.

You never felt fear as you embraced him with the rose in your hand tightly. You trusted Hobie’s skills as you had seen them be incredibly strong and capable of much, while swinging he’d collect something he’d like and hand it to you.. so far you have 3 different flowers and a lollipop. Hobie had sticky fingers.. but you didn’t mind it, he wasn’t selfish with his findings.

It didn’t take long when you finally arrived at your balcony, he made sure your feet were flat on the ground before letting you go. Walking into your dark home didn’t feel lonely and filled with void like before, now you held Hobie’s hand tight as you led him to your room, wordlessly telling him you really wanted him to stay the night, if not forever. You both jumped into the shower wanting it to be quick, your night having been long and you both were craving to lay down in one another’s arms. Hobie’s hands never left your body as he helped you scrub down, he never looked at you like you’re a piece of meat.. but as if you were such a treasure to behold. It didn’t matter about your battle scars or the shape of you, he was now addicted and more in love. You treated Hobie the same way, wanting to show him that you indeed wanted him and him only, asking him questions about how he does his hair and wanting to memorize his steps to keep his styled hair in tact (as you loved how his hair looked) Drying off in fluffy towels, and sharing the air-blow dryer, you too were soon ready for bed. Hobie lifted you up from the thighs and carried you in, laying you down gently and pecking your lips all so romantically, before plopping himself on top of you. A breathy groan left your lips as he cuddled into your stomach, acting innocent and slightly ignoring how he had dropped onto you. He made sure he was in a good spot, not wanting his hair to be in your face, but close enough where you can rub his head. Soft kisses were given on your tummy as he worded again and again, softly yet possessively,

“You’re mine.. all mine. This body, your heart… you. Right baby?”

You could never say no.

“Yes baby.. all yours.. all of me.”

He smiled to himself as he lastly cooed,

“I love you..”

His chest warmed up as he heard your reply,

“I love you more..”

[joeys-babe]

Joey B Blurbs: With A Little Help From My Friends

————————————————————————-

Summary: You and a few other WAGs do a prank on your boys by buying them all matching shirts for a get-together without them knowing.

Warnings: Fluff, unserious/funny, pranks

Pairing: Joe Burrow x reader

Imagine Universe: Into The Mystic

————————————————————————-

January 20, 2024 - *36 weeks pregnant*

“Joe, I have your outfit laid out on the island in the closet.” - you

Joe’s head snapped away from the TV and over in my direction. I'd just walked into the kitchen from getting ready upstairs. Joe sat on the couch watching The Office reruns, all cuddled up with Tyson and Miles - looking adorable.

“What? I can pick my outfit out.” - Joe

“I know, but I ordered you a new shirt that I'd like you to wear.” - you

“Oh, okay. What is it?” - Joe

“A flannel.” - you

“Mmm, okay.” - Joe

A few moments later, I sat down on the couch with my boys, but Joe left just a minute later to get ready himself.

Robin and Jimmy were coming in a bit to watch the twins while Joe and I went over to Sam’s for a get-together with some of his teammates.

The guys had no idea, though, that the WAG’s group chat had been super active the past week leading up to tonight.

A prank was to ensue, and it was that we'd all secretly ordered the same shirt for our men. We'd all show up one by one, and the guy’s reactions to matching would be hilarious.

Plus, Joe would look hot as hell in a flannel.

Half an Office episode later, Joe came bounding down the stairs. The greyish flannel looked amazing on him, giving off major dad vibes, paired with regular-fitting blue jeans that had been sitting untouched in the closet since I'd ordered them.

I let out a teasing whistle, Joe blushing at the cat-call.

“You like?” - Joe

“Yes. You look amazing, Joey. Do a little spin for me?” - you

Joe happily obliged before searching for approval in my facial expression.

“Love it. I need to start sneaking more of this style into your side of the closet.” - you

“Is that style ‘I have two kids and another on the way’?” - Joe

“Bingo. I told you, you're a DILF.” - you

“You love to remind me of that.” - Joe

“Because it's true.” - you grinned

——

There was a ring of the doorbell, and I went to stand up from the couch, but Joe ushered me to sit back down.

“Hey Mom, hey Dad. Thanks for watching the boys.” - Joe

“Oh, of course!” - Robin

Robin and Jimmy had barely made it into the house before they were ambushed by Tyson and Miles.

They happily hugged their grandbabies, and Jimmy picked up Miles in his arms.

“Where's your wife, Joseph Lee?” - Robin

“On the couch, she went to open the door, but I waved her off.” - Joe

Robin gave her son a proud nod, grateful that he was treating his pregnant wife as he should.

The five of them eventually walked back into the living room, and Joe plopped back onto the couch next to me, putting his arm around me on the back of the couch.

“You look great, y/n!” - Robin

“Aww, thank you. I'm feeling great as well. Baby girl is treating my bladder a lot better than the twins did.” - you laughed

“That's good! I love your dress, makes your bump pop.” - Robin grinned

“Joe actually picked it out.” - you

I put a hand on Joe’s chest and smiled up at him, a glint in his eye when he returned the soft grin.

“Wow, I would’ve never expected that.” - Robin

Laughing, I understood where she was coming from. My dress was a solid black, nothing like anything in Joe’s side of the closet.

“I picked his outfit out, though.” - you smiled

“That was my next question! That style looks good on you, Joey. You look very adult.” - Robin

“Thank you? I think.” - Joe

“It was meant to be a compliment. I think so, at least…” - Jimmy

A few seconds of laughter went by before Joe patted my thigh and spoke up.

“Ready to go, babe?” - Joe

“Sure!” - you

Joe stood up before turning around to me and putting a hand out to help me up.

Once I was on my feet, Joe let go of one of my hands but still held the other.

“We’ll be back later!” - Joe

He led me over to the garage door of the house and grabbed his keys to the Porsche off of the hook.

Sweetly, Joe walked me over to the passenger side of the car and opened my door for me, along with helping me sit down before shutting the door back.

“Whatcha wanna listen to?” - Joe

Joe always joked about my passenger princess ways, but here he was, offering me to pick the music before I even asked.

In the end, I pulled up my Spotify playlist “’60s-’70s Love Songs” and shuffled it.

Looking over at Joe as he backed out of the driveway, I giggled as he playfully rolled his eyes with a smile on his face at my music selection.

For dramatic effect, I grabbed onto Joe’s shoulder and sang Be My Baby by The Ronettes into my hand like I was holding a microphone.

“You're crazy.” - Joe laughed

“But you love me.” - you

“That I do, my baby.” - Joe

——

I had my arm looped with Joe’s as we stood on Sam’s front porch. Joe had just rung the doorbell and now we're waiting for an answer.

Squeezing his bicep lightly, Joe’s eyes darted to me.

“You okay, Mama?” - Joe

“Mhm. Just love you in this shirt.” - you grinned

Just a few seconds later, the front door swung open, revealing Sam.

“Hey, Burrow’s! Woah- what the hell? Joe, are we matching?” - Sam

I giggled to myself as Joe and Sam looked down at their flannels and then at each other.

“That's weird man, but I def wore it better.” - Joe

Sam rolled his eyes before stepping to the side to let Joe and me inside the house.

I immediately greeted Jess, who complimented my pregnancy glow, and while we were deep into conversation, the doorbell rang again.

When Sam opened the door, Jess and I exchanged knowing looks at each other.

On the front porch, Cody Ford and Evan McPherson were laughing about the fact they had matching shirts on while Tianna and Gracie stood to the side laughing.

“What the hell!” - Sam

“You guys have it too?!” - Evan

Joe was full-on cackling, and I couldn't help but mirror my husband.

The girls walked over and sat next to me and Jess, our boys all pointing at each other’s shirts while laughing.

Thirty minutes later, over ten more guys had shown up, all in the same flannel, and Joe and his guys found it hilarious each time.

The girls and I all sat in a corner of the living room, recording and laughing at the reactions coming out of the guys.

They really were adult toddlers, but that's what makes being married to one fun.

After dinner, Joe found me by myself in the kitchen and wrapped his arms around me from behind. At first, I couldn't tell who it was because all the guys here had the same long-sleeved shirt on, and all I could see were the person's arms.

The thought didn't last too long when I saw the wedding ring on the person’s finger that was too unique to be anyone other than Joe.

“Hi, Mama.” - Joe

“Hi, Joey.” - you

“Can I ask you a question?” - Joe

“Of course.” - you

With Joe’s hands on my bump, I covered them with my own and let my head fall back onto his chest/shoulder.

“Who wore the shirt best?” - Joe

“I'm kinda biased, but you, for sure.” - you

“Yeah?” - Joe

“Mhm, I'm gonna start sneaking more flannels into your closet.” - you

“I'll wear ‘em if they get a good reaction out of you.” - Joe

“Oh, you know they will.” - you giggled

I turned around in Joe’s arms and looked into his gorgeous blue eyes, my hands on his chest.

Slowly, Joe leaned in and pressed his lips onto mine.

A minute later, we were still kissing. The craving for each other was never satisfied, but we were interrupted by a loud, fake, gagging sound.

“For the love of god, she's already pregnant! You guys are disgusting!” - Ja’Marr

I leaned my head onto Joe’s chest with a giggle as he glared at one of his best friends.

“Ja’Marr, get the fuck away!” - Joe

Ja’Marr threw his arms up in surrender before walking out of the kitchen. Joe turned back to me with a sly grin on his face.

“Sorry, Mrs. Burrow. Where were we?” - Joe

I’d never get tired of him calling me that.

“Mmm, I think we might've been kissing.” - you

“Let's test that theory.” - Joe

Just as Joe was leaning in, our lips brushed together, but something made him pull back.

“Y'all nasty!” - Ja’Marry whisper yelled

“Ja’Marr!!” - Joe yelled

Sure, they got annoying sometimes, but deep down, Joe knew he wouldn't get by without a little help from his friends. Even if said help was unwanted.

————————————————————————-

Authors note: y'all, I ground out a fic for you guys. 💀

Request for this fic;

Hope you enjoyed! 💕

[therealcocoshady]

awwwww i forgot i sent those prompts in!!! lily having a crush is gonna be hilarious i already know😂 cant wait coco!!

-😛😛😛

Author’s Note : Thank you for sending these many prompts ! Lily having a crush was way too cute 🥰. I hope you enjoy it !

Daddy’s girl

Marshall was lounging in the couch when you came home after picking Lily up from school. She was carrying a tiny bouquet of flowers and it immediately brought a smile to his face.

- That’s a nice bouquet, he said. Did you pick these for me ? He asked.

- No Daddy, they’re mine ! She said proudly.

- Our baby received flowers today, you said with a soft chuckle.

- Who gave these to you, bug ? He asked.

- My boyfriend, she said proudly.

- Your what now ? He asked with a scoff.

You neatly choked upon seeing the change of emotion on his face. When Lily told you she had a boyfriend, in the car, you didn’t think much of it - she was five after all - but you knew Marshall would absolutely lose it. You thought it was adorable that your baby was smitten with a boy but, obviously, not everyone shared your opinion.

- My boyfriend, Daddy, Lily shrugged.

- When did you get a boyfriend ?! He asked with a raised eyebrow.

- At recess, she said proudly. Theo came, and he held my hand, and he gave me flowers, and he said he would marry me.

- Well I think our friend Theo is forgetting something important, he pointed out.

- The ring ? You asked.

- Dad’s approval, Marshall said with a glare.

- He needs your approval ? Lily asked with a raised eyebrow.

- Of course he does ! He replied. Evan and Matt asked for my permission before proposing to Hailie and Lainey, you know ?

- Maybe he will ask on Wednesday, you shrugged. Theo and his mom are coming over for a play date.

- You invited him ? He asked with a frown.

- What’s the big deal ? You asked as you crossed your arms. Lily has friends over all the time.

- Girl friends, he pointed out.

- Marshall… they’re five, you giggled.

- This, I will remind Theo about on Wednesday, he mumbled. Before he married my five year old.

- You will do no such thing, because you have a recording session, you said.

- I will do whatever I please because A its my house and B I cancelled the recording session, he shrugged.

- When did you cancel it ? You asked.

- Just now, he shrugged.

- As your collaborator-, you began.

- As the mother of my child, I think you’ll agree it’s important I’m here for milestones like this, he said with a smirk. Lily’s first play date with a boyfriend. Yes ?

- Don’t you dare pull something and scare off that little boy, you warned. I like Theo. He’s cute.

Marshall simply shrugged and switched subject, asking Lily how school went, casually reminding her that she should focus on learning how to count higher than 50 instead of getting a boyfriend. On Wednesday, you welcomed Theo, who came with his mom, into your home. You didn’t know too much about her, but she seemed nice. They even came bearing gifts, flowers for Lily and pastries for you. The play date went great and both kids spent the afternoon in the garden, playing with the dog while you enjoyed coffee on the terrace, getting to know Danielle. They had recently moved to the neighborhood and she shared a bit about her struggles as a single mother. Her move being recent meant that she had no idea Marshall was Lily’s dad and you could see she was a little star struck. However, you did everything you could to put her at ease.

- Thank you again for the pastries, you said.

- I figured you’d enjoy a few sweet treats, she replied.

- I’ll happily blame the sweet tooth on the pregnancy hormones, you said innocently as you cradled your baby bump.

- Oh I didn’t know you were expecting ! Congratulations !

You felt the color drain from your face. You were, indeed, in the early stage of pregnancy but you were definitely showing. Or maybe you just looked like a fat lady who enjoyed pastries a little too much ? You weren’t too sure anymore. You tried to stay calm and composed and took another bite of macaron. You spent the rest of the afternoon feeling self-conscious, and it wasn’t helped by Danielle’s flirting with your husband, who was either completely oblivious or enjoying the whole thing way too much. You had to suffer through two and a half hours of her batting her eyelashes at Marshall and complimenting him on his physique (« I can tell you work out »).

- Lily is the spitting image of you, Marshall, she said. She is absolutely adorable.

- I can’t take the credit, he said with a grin. She looks just like her mom.

- Either way, she is really cute, she commented. Theo is absolutely smitten with her. It looks like we’re going to see a lot of each other.

Up until now, you thought the whole « Lily having a boyfriend » thing was pretty cute but the perspective of having this woman over on a regular basis was making you nauseous. Marshall, on the other hand, seemed to have softened to the idea liking a boy. At the end of the play date, Theo brought up the topic of marrying Lily.

- Mom, can Lily come over next week ? He asked. We want to get married in the backyard !

- Of course, Bunny, Danielle said with a laugh. If Mr and Mrs Mathers agree, that is.

- Before thinking of marrying my daughter, you might want to learn how to tie your shoelaces, Theo, Marshall said with a frown.

Theo made a comment about wanting to learn as soon as possible and you agreed to call Danielle to set up another play date. Lily was happy about her afternoon and gushed over the fact that Theo held her hand while they were petting Winky.

- He did what ? Marshall asked.

- He held my hand, she repeated proudly.

- I didn’t see that ! He said. Babe, did you see that ?

- I didn’t, you shrugged. But that’s cute.

- Held my daughter’s hand ? In front of me ? In my own backyard ? In a house that I paid for ? He grumbled. Someone better teach this boy some manners !

- You’re funny, Daddy, Lily giggled.

- Did he at least ask before he held your hand ? Marshall asked.

- No, but I liked it, she replied.

- You know, baby, it’s important to ask people before you touch them, you said. I’m glad you liked it but Theo should have asked.

- You never ask Daddy before you hold his hand, you pointed out.

- That’s because we’re married, you explained.

- But before, you asked him ? She questioned.

You heard Marshall chortle, probably reminiscing your first kiss. You definitely didn’t ask for his permission. In fact, you went for it and apologized after. You shot him a glare, forbidding him to say anything.

- It’s always important to ask, you simply said. That way, if you’re not comfortable with people touching you, you can say so.

- Ok, she simply shrugged. But when I marry Theo, he won’t need to ask permission anyway.

You chuckled and moved on to another topic, not really wanting to be reminded that you had to set up another play date and deal with Danielle. You went to the kitchen to make dinner when Marshall came to find you.

- So, that was a nice play date, he commented. In spite of the hand holding, I mean…

- I guess, you shrugged.

- Theo’s mom is pretty nice, he continued.

- Glad you think so, you said dryly.

- Are you alright, honey ? He asked.

- I don’t know, you snapped. You make a big deal about a five year old holding Lily’s hand in front of you but you certainly have no issue with flirting with his mom right in front of your wife.

- I… what ? He asked with a puzzled look on his face. I was being nice to her. I wasn’t flirting.

- Right, you chortled.

- I just felt sorry for her, he shrugged. She’s raising her son on her own, that’s not easy…

- So, you have a type, then ? Single moms ? You asked with a raised eyebrow.

- Yes, exactly, he said sarcastically. I was attracted to you because you were a single mom. Not at all because you’re smart and beautiful with the greatest hip-hop culture ever.

- Don’t try to be funny, you said as you rolled your eyes.

- Babe, that’s ridiculous, he sighed. I’m not attracted to Danielle.

- Really ? You don’t like her huge fake tits ?

- I’m pretty sure they’re real, he said before he could catch himself.

You stared at him in disbelief for a second before scoffing and putting the knife down on the cutting board and making your way out of the kitchen.

- Where are you going ? He asked.

- To lie down, you said without looking at him.

- In the middle of making dinner ?

- If you care so much about dinner, make it yourself, Marshall. I’m not hungry anyway.

An hour later, Lily came to find you in your bedroom, asking that you read to her before bed. You happily obliged and, once she was asleep, you went back to your room, where you found your husband waiting for you in bed, with a tub of Ben & Jerry’s and two spoons.

- Brought a peace offering, he said with a smile.

- Thanks, you said sheepishly.

- I’m sorry I made that dumb comment, he said apologetically. But in my defense… you’re the one who commented on her tits first. Which means you stared.

- With the low-cut top she wore, no need for staring, you said. They were pretty much on display.

- So we agree that I didn’t stare at her, then ? He asked with a grin.

- I guess, you shrugged as you sat in bed. I’m sorry. But I hate this woman.

- Why ? He asked.

- Because she was here, in our home, batting her eyelashes at you, right after she made me feel fat, you said. She was here, looking hot while I’m… looking like this.

- So ? He asked. You’re gorgeous.

- I’m fat, you replied.

- You’re pregnant, he chuckled. And you’re the hottest pregnant woman I’ve ever seen.

- Yeah ? You asked. You really think so ?

- Have you seen yourself ? He asked. You’re gorgeous. You’re glowing. I’m so lucky you’re carrying my babies. And your tits are even greater than before. Which is saying something.

- You like them ? You asked with a smile. They’re so tender, lately, though…

- I heard applying something cold might help, he said with a smile, pointing at the ice cream.

You giggled and kissed him, whispering apologies in his ear for your earlier outburst. He kissed you back with passion before gently cupping your breast. His mouth traveled to your neck, to your chest as he helped you undress. He grinned at the sight of your bare chest, gently tracing your skin with his fingers. He opened the ice cream tub and proceeded to apply some of it on your nipples, before making sure to lick it gently. He made you cry in pleasure, from the simple stimulation of your breast, before making love to you, whispering to you just how beautiful you were, worshipping every part of your body.

A few days later, Marshall saw Danielle again when he picked Lily from school. They were waiting for the kids to come out as they made small talk. He was polite, though he picked up on the flirting right away, realizing you were right after all. He made sure to mention you every chance he got. They agreed on a play date for next Wednesday. As soon as Lily walked up to him, he could see she was clearly upset.

- What’s up, bug ? He asked as he hugged her. I saw Theo’s mom earlier. We’re all set for next Wednesday.

At the mention of the play date, so immediately started bawling. He hugged her tight, trying to wipe her tears. Seeing her tear-stained face broke his heart. Every time he saw her cry, it hurt deep in his soul.

- What’s wrong, Lily ? He asked.

- Theo… h-he… he doesn’t love me anymore, she sobbed.

- What do you mean ? I’m sure he does, he said. He held your hand, remember ? That has to mean something…

- He married Emma at recess, she cried.

- Emma… your best friend Emma ? He asked in shock.

Now, he was getting a little too involved in that drama. Lily simply nodded and burst into tears again. She was only five and already having her first heartbreak. It took everything he had in him not to walk to Theo and give him a piece of his mind but, at the same time, he knew he couldn’t be an adult bullying a little child, so he just held Lily while she sobbed.

- I hate boys, she said.

- I know, baby, he said as he rubbed her back. But all boys aren’t like this, you know ?

- They aren’t ? She sniffled.

- I mean… they grow up eventually, he said with a smile.

- When ? She asked.

- When what ?

- When do they become nice ? She questioned.

- Around thirty, thirty-five, he hummed.

He was absolutely telling a white lie but, at the same time, his little girl had no business being interested in boys at such a young age.

- I’ll never get married, she said. Boys suck.

- They do, he chuckled. How about I take you for ice cream ?

- Yes, she said with a smile.

He took her to her favorite ice cream place and they had a daddy-daughter date of their own. He wanted to make sure to show her how she should be treated by a boy. He let her get as many toppings as she wanted and even took her to the toy store so that she could choose a new doll. When they came home to you, she had a smile on her face. She quickly kissed you and went to play in her room.

- You guys are back later than usual, you pointed out.

- We went on a date, Marshall said before kissing you.

- That’s nice, you said. Speaking of date, have you seen Danielle ?

- We’re not doing playdates with Danielle and Theo anymore, he said.

- Oh, that’s too bad, you said even though you failed to hide a smile. What happened ?

- Jesus Christ, you can’t hide what you think, can you ? He chuckled. Theo basically cheated on Lily.

- He WHAT ?! You asked as you started to get worked up.

- He married Emma today at recess, he explained.

- Emma… Lily’s best friend ?! No he didn’t ! You said in a scandalized voice. I can’t believe she did that to Lily !

- Apparently, we’re not blaming her, we’re blaming Theo, he chuckled. Just so you know, Lily hates boys now.

Now he was the one who failed to hide his smile. Of course. Proud Girl dad that he was, he was too happy to remain the number one man in his baby’s life for the time being.

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

Charlie: "Dad. Did you post this."

Lucifer: "Oh my 'selfie' with your dear lovely Maggie?? Why yes I DID! Do you like it!?"

Charlie: "Dad."

Lucifer: "Since she's your loving girlfriend, who you love, I thought gosh! I should really have on my social media page! Make a change from all the ducks, ha ha!"

Charlie: "Dad did you write the- the caption on it?"

Lucifer: "The c- oh yes! Well I wanted everyone to know how much I ADORE my daughter's girlfriend!!"

Charlie: "You wrote-"

Lucifer: "See, the 'bad' here means 'good'! I checked! Bad and bitch are bad on their own, but when you put them together it's like a, er, a double negative making a positive, haha! Maggie's a bad bitch- she's AWESOME- which ahaha I'm sure YOU know since you're dating her-and now all of Hell knows I think so too!!!! ISN'T THAT SWELL!"

Charlie: "But the actual whole caption says-"

Lucifer: "'ME AND THE BAD BITCH I PULLED BY BEING CHARLIE'S DAD'!"

Lucifer: "Aww and the picture turned out so great! Look!"

Lucifer: ".... you don't look super thrilled about it, Char-char."

Charlie: "Pulled, dad... Do you know what 'pulled' can mean exactly, specifically, in THIS context..?"

Lucifer: "... pulled.... into a... hug? Like in the selfie...?"

Charlie: "Dad."

Charlie: (deep breath) "I can't believe I'm saying this..."

Charlie: "You made it sound like you SLEPT WITH my girlfriend."

Lucifer: "......."

Lucifer: "Oh. HA! That's..."

Lucifer: (deflating balloon noises as he literally shrivels up into a crumpled pile of clothes mostly hidden by his hat)

Charlie: "We're not angry!"

Lucifer: ".... i m s o r r y..."

Charlie: "It's okay!!! IT'S FINE. A little mentally scarring and socially mortifying not to mention something our friends won't EVER let us live down, but- well- Just... Just-"

Charlie: "No more social media meme posting without running them past me or Vaggie first, alright!?"

Lucifer: "If I delete the post maybe no one else will see it...."

Charlie: "Everyone in Hell has already seen it, dad."

Lucifer: "..i could delete myself instead"

Charlie: "And HOW would that help?"

Lucifer: "...it would make me feel better..."

Vaggie: "Honestly sir, the most embarrassing part is how you look young enough to be my teenage son."

Charlie: "Thanks, Vaggie."

Vaggie: "Check out my stress wrinkles and scars next his baby smooth face. It's like I picked him up from a cradle somewhere."

Charlie: "Please don't joke about cradle robbing my actual father."

Vaggie: "Sorry babe."

Charlie: "I mean I'll NEVER be able to look at ANY of my parents' family portraits the same way ever AGAIN, but thank you for being SO understanding about the rumor you're dating my DAD!"

Vaggie: "Sir, what kinda skin routine are you even doing?"

Lucifer: "room full of rubber ducks and despair"

Charlie: "VAGGIE PLEASE."

Vaggie: "Sweetie, I'm ruffling his hair in the pic. It's hilarious."

Charlie: "I DON'T NEED THE REMINDER!"

Vaggie: "Feels like I'm about to call the king of hell 'kiddo' or something."

Lucifer: (a puddle on the floor) "i thought it was funny too"

Charlie: "Okay.... okay."

Charlie: "You two NEED to find a bonding activity that doesn't TRAUMATIZE me."

Vaggie: "Hmm."

Lucifer: "OH WE COULD-"

Charlie: "Or each other!"

Lucifer: "Oh well then I have nothing!"

Vaggie: "We'll always have that time you fake dated me online, sir someday dad-in-law."

Lucifer: "Our beautifully shared new horrifying past..."

Charlie: "Ha ha HA! Keep this up and either the dad part or the someday in-law part is gonna stop being accurate REAL quick!"

Vaggie: "It will?"

Charlie: "No but I'm trying to threaten you two right now so SHUSH."

[lovelyyandereaddictionpoint]

I saw this

https://youtu.be/LGMIJ-UWnZY

And thought it'd be hilarious for some reactions/headcanons from twisted wonderland characters as reader and a friend or someone drink ridiculous amounts of eggnog (if eggnog isn't good then a similar heavy beverage) while they kinda just act silly. Just absolutely losing their minds as they try to out eggnog their competitor. Whether their competitor/friend is one of the characters from twisted wonderland or just some fellow is up to you. Honestly, i just like how you write and want to read more so it doesn't even have to be twisted wonderland. I'm really not that particular about the fandom or which characters you choose cause i like em all and i just wanna read more of your writing cause it's really good

No pressure of course, it's just a silly little thought

I really appreciate that! 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

Drinking Games | Yandere Twisted Wonderland

This whole scenario sounds like the work of a certain idiot-duo

Getting ahold of Twisted Wonderland’s version of eggnog 

Supposedly the grossest thickest most disliked drink they could get their hands on

And then hosting a competition to see who could drink the most of it

“And what do we get if we beat ya?”

“A….full week spent in Ramshackle….Unsupervised!”

“I didn’t agree to that!” 

“That’s…an appealing prize.”

“One I didn’t agree to!”

“I ACCEPT THIS CHALLENGE!”

“I DIDN’T APPROVE OF THIS AT ALL!”

First years only it’s already worrisome because more than likely than not they get real competitive 

And they have a hard time knowing when to stop

“Um do you guys maybe want to…take a break? You’re all looking a little green in the face.”

“BURP! NEVER…Oh I just–I CAN HANDLE ANOTHER.”

“Please…I got this! Slide that cup on over!”

“Y’all abuncha snowflakes can’t handleagallon o’ ‘is if ya tried!”

“This calls for an intense work out…..later. BRAP! Sorry.”

“Ugh…..”

“This stuff is gross Nya! I’d much rather have a big bowl of milk!”

Imagine how much worse it gets when the dormheads find out 

They’ll scold them 

And then turn right around and have too much evidence that they have a higher record than the others

“I’m only showing you if anyone should have such a prize it would go to me.”

“Because you have records that you had 50 cups?”

“Yes.”

“Thanks Riddle but I wasn’t actually going to let anyone stay over.”

“Hmmm I wonder if the more unruly will actually listen to your wishes?”

Sigh ”Don’t remind me! Floyd’s been telling me he’ll move himself in any day now.”

“Tsk. It would probably best to have me over than….just to protect your peace of course.”

It’s best to ‘reward all of them in some way shape or form

Otherwise you’ll just have to get used to being dragged and possibly made the prize of competitions you had no idea was happening 

“Hooray!” 

“Uh hi Lilia you look happy.”

“Of course I am! I won your entire weekend with our wreath making contest.”

“Wait what?!”

“I was thinking we’ll start with a picnic, then we can jam with the band, and then I can go through your closet!”

Usually things won’t get too violent…..usually

[dragengyrr]

Dealbreaker

I found a fic "The Last Bus Stop in Hell, Now Boarding" by @prince-liest and… well, some scenes just stuck around in my head (read: tormented my artistic brain) long enough to get me down to sketching them out. Then a few hours, a few brushes and a few different colouring experiments later, it was no longer barely a sketch, at the expense of actual lunch... Oh well.

For those who haven’t read it (spoiler free), Angel and Alastor got their bodies swapped involuntarily, and the horrendous expression on Angel’s face belongs respectfully to Alastor.

Now, bear with me, because I’ve been overthinking this scene the whole time I was drawing it – Angel made a promise to Alastor, but one that is much more of a gesture of reassurance and what-happened-will-always-remain-in-this-room kind than anything resembling actual deal. And then, mere moments later, Angel realises that helping Al AND keeping the promise is impossible, so he dismisses the fact that he even said anything, and just jumps right onto the helping part, because he knows that that’s best thing to do for a friend. But Alastor doesn’t share that view – maybe it’s a mix of trauma, shame and the loss of control over almost anything, but he doesn’t think clearly at this point – normally, he’d sooner or later agree with Angel. But not there, not then – he’d rather expect the impossible to happen, and rage when it doesn’t.

And there’s the interesting choice of words – he could’ve called Angel anything at this point, we know how rich Alastor’s vocabulary is – but the word he chose was dealbreaker. Maybe, just maybe, from a perspective of hellish overlord, a sinner that twists and turns in an attempt to get rid of their contract is nothing less than pathetic, but what if the deal was only verbal, no signing, no contract, just "trust"… There are probably no other beings in Hell that, ironically, have less trust in somebody’s WORDS than the overlords, knowing what extremes the sinners are willing to go to just to squeeze their way out of a sticky situation. Also, one can only become a dealbreaker exactly in that scenario, when nothing was set in stone.

For Alastor, dealbreaker is a knife in the back. The worst kind of liar. The very being that reminds him so painfully that trust doesn’t exist without force applied to it by a binding contract, which, if you think about it, is a paradox. Dealbreakers are the reason he distances himself from everyone.

And here’s the sugar on the cream (pun intended): Angel is only trying to HELP. What a beautiful tragedy.

To end this little overthinking session: it’s been a long while since I’ve read anything that would make me genuinely terrified, and it’s even more amazing that it began as something quite hilarious. Do mind though that the topic is HEAVY, to say the least.

I can’t say I’ve read a lot of Hazbin fics, but so far Princeliest writes Alastor probably the closest to his original character, which I love. Please, keep up the good work!