#'oh ha ha that ones easy i got like 4 mons to counter i- oh. oh no.'

[whilomm]

local idiot SHOCKED to learn that choosing a pokemon team entirely based on being cute may result in a non ideal type spread, more news at 11

[halstudandruz]

Give In

*Not my gif*

Pairing: Jay Halstead x Reader

Requested: Yes

Prompt: Tragedy occurs after a night of passion

Warnings: swearing, talk of mentally abusive relationship, miscarriage/pregnancy loss

“Don’t come crying to me when you need support for that mistake.” Jared scoffed, bringing tears to your eyes at his words.

“I should’ve never come here.” You shook your head, “I should’ve listened to Jay.” You put your hand over your stomach protectively.

“Oh here we go again. Because Jay knows everything, and I’m supposed to believe that’s my kid and not his in there? Spare me.” He laughed in your face.

“How many times do I have to fucking tell you I haven’t slept with him.” You yelled, getting angrier by the second.

“At least I can admit I fucked Sarah.” He shrugged.

“Well, I caught you so it’s not like you had an opportunity to lie.” You reminded him.

“I was doing perfectly fine the last 4 months. I must say though, I’m quite glad I won’t have to sit here and watch you get any fatter.” He smirked, a cocky look on his face. Trying to hurt you with his words.

“You’re such a jackass. I’m done with this.” You turned walking out of your once shared apartment, slamming the door behind you.

Jay had told you not to go there. Told you it would end bad, but you thought he deserved to know. He might’ve been a terrible boyfriend, but you figured he deserved a chance to be a decent father, but as always Jay was right. You and Jared had been together for over a year and your relationship was a rollercoaster. He was charming, but manipulative. He never hurt you physically, but he knew all the right ways to hurt you with his words, to make you feel self conscious, less than, and crazy. Then you found him in bed with your old friend, and that was the end of it. You finally had the courage to leave that you had been searching for. Except a couple months later you made the mistake of spending the night with him. The case you had that week really got to you. You were out drinking with your team when you caught Jay leaving with a nurse from Chicago Med, and jealousy reared its ugly head harder than ever before. Without thinking you ended up in front of your old apartment and the night did not end there. A month later you found out you were pregnant. Karma’s a bitch. Jay was the first person you told.

“You’re joking.” He looked at you shocked as you both stood in the break room.

“Believe me I wish I was.” You looked helplessly at him.

“Okay well what are you going to do?” He eventually asked after the shock wore off some.

“I’m gonna go apartment hunting this week. I swear I’ll be out soon.” You answered.

“What? No that’s not what I meant. I meant about the douchebag of the equation.” He explained.

“I mean I have to tell him.” You answered.

“What? No you don’t. You shouldn’t.” He countered.

“It’s his too Jay.” You tried to reason.

“[Y/N], if you go over there it’s going to end one of two ways. He somehow manipulates you into forgiving him or he hurts you worse than he already has.” He argued.

“So what am I supposed to do? Just lie to my kid when they’re old enough to ask questions?” You said.

“When did this even happen? You’ve been broken up for over a mon-“ He started to ask, but Adam interrupted your conversation peeking his head in.

“Hey, uh, sorry to interrupt,” he looked between you two suspiciously, “but we got a ping on Rudder’s phone.” He informed you guys as you followed him out the door.

You and Jay had been partners for 3 years. He was very standoffish when you first started. You were informed through the grapevine his last partner had left him and moved to New York. So, he had every right to be skeptical, but your relationship eventually progressed and you had a dynamic unlike any other. However, you were also like any other girl that came into contact with the younger Halstead, taken back by his good looks and determined yet soft nature, but he was just your partner. You worked together. You couldn’t get involved, and he was going through a rough break up. It wasn’t fair to try anything. Unfortunately, that didn’t lessen your attraction any further and it only got worse as your relationship developed.

Jay had offered to let you move in with him after you had caught Jared. You planned on finding an apartment right away, but things kept getting in the way and Jay wasn’t trying to push you out the door. Walking into his apartment you laid your keys on the stand hanging up your purse and coat before walking further in to find Jay sitting on the couch watching TV. Turning to face you he sighed immediately getting up to hug you, no words needing to be spoken. The anger finally took over showing itself by the tears that began to soak Jay’s neck. Eventually you gathered yourself moving to sit by him on the couch.

“I should’ve listened to you.” You laughed attempting to wipe the tears off your face. A small smile appeared on Jay’s lips as he shook his head.

“No, you shouldn’t have. You were right. This baby deserves the best life ever, and it wouldn’t have been fair to them if you didn’t give him a choice.” He said, hand tickling your stomach, making it flip at his touch.

“I just wish he made the right one.” You admitted, laughing.

“You deserve better. I’ve been telling you that since day one. I hated seeing how he treated you, how he changed you. You’ve always been too good for him, and you deserve someone who gives you and this little peanut the world.” He replied.

“Why can’t it be you?” You said after a few minutes of silence.

“What?” He looked at you confused, eyebrows scrunched.

“Do you know how this happened?” You gestured to your stomach.

“Of course I know how it happened.” He raised an eyebrow at you.

“No,” you shook your head adjusting yourself, “I mean do you know when this happened?” You reiterated.

“No. I didn’t want to pry.” He admitted.

“It was the night Hazel stayed over.” You explained, and guilt flushed over his face.

“[Y/N], I told you I was sorry about that. This is your apartment now too. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable or feel like you couldn’t come home.” He started to apologize, making you laugh.

“No, Jay. I didn’t want to come home because I was jealous.” You said waiting for it to click.

“Jealous of what?” He looked even more confused making you frustrated.

“Oh my god Jay. Of you and her! Of you with her!” You huffed throwing your hands in the air. Taking a deep breath you shook your head, “I just didn’t want to come back and see her here, or god forbid hear her. When all I wanted was to be the one in your room.” You admitted getting nauseous at the thought of them together.

“I don’t know what to say.” He sighed after a few minutes of grappling within his own head.

“Oh god. I’m sorry I should’ve never said anything.” Your embarrassment took over, feeling your face turn red you moved to stand up and hurry out of the room, but he pulled you back down beside him, closer this time.

“No. Don’t be. It’s just...I wish it was as easy as that. Believe me I do..” He said, breath noticeably quickening at the thought.

“It can be.” You replied after a couple seconds of intense silence.

“[Y/N], we work together, we’re partners, you’re having someone else’s baby. There’s a lot of factors.” He explained, but you could tell he was trying to convince himself.

“Do you want this as bad as I do?” You asked gently, resting your hand on his, but he stayed quiet. “Just for one night. Can’t we just give into ourselves for one night?” You bargained your face inching closer with each thought, “if you don’t want this I promise I’ll go to bed now and we can never speak of this again.” You stopped a few inches from his face refusing to make the move. The decision was in his hands now. His eyes searched your face, breathing heavy, and you watched the moment his resolve gave away, throwing caution to the wind and groaning a quiet,

“[Y/N].” Before he closed the distance his lips meeting yours in an urgency you had never felt before.

You were woken up by a sharp pain in your stomach. Turning to roll on your back you collided with warm skin, belonging to someone who grunted pulling you closer with the arm wrapped around your waist. Remembering who it was you felt a small smile appear on your lips, but it was stolen away by another pain radiating from your abdomen. Wincing you gently lifted Jay’s arm attempting to slide out from under it, brain registering the wetness you felt between your legs. Jesus, you liked him and all, but you figured you could control yourself a little instead of waking up completely ready to go again. Shaking your head you slipped off the bed, the liquid between your legs growing, becoming a little too prominent with the accompanied pains. “Jay.” you croaked out voice hoarse, terror immediately coming to surface as the red came into view. He didn’t stir. “Jay!” You tried again bracing yourself against the bed as a dizziness started to swirl in your mind. At your insistence he grunted eyes slowly opening.

“[Y/N]?” He asked blinking and attempting to reach for where you lay minutes prior.

“Jay, somethings wrong.” You began to cry, panic obvious in your voice by the quivering, but trying not to scare him. You watched as his awareness finally clicked seconds later, sitting straight up in bed looking from the blood stained sheet to you. Another cramp hitting, this time making you fall to your knees just as Jay reached you, pulling you back up in his arms. Somehow throwing a shirt on in the process.

“Alright come on I got you. It’s alright baby. You’re okay.” He hurriedly helped you put shorts on as you had only been sporting his shirt from the night before. Cradling you in his arms, running down to his truck, and burning tire towards the hospital, lights and sirens echoing in the background while he weaved through traffic, pulling up to the doors of Chicago Med not too long after. Your head was shoved in his chest breathing through the pain. You felt lightheaded barely aware of all that was happening as you heard Jay yelling for a nurse before sitting you down in a wheelchair.

“I’m assuming you’re the father? Otherwise we can’t permit you-“ The nurse began to ask, even more panic taking over at the thought of being alone before you heard Jay answer with a simple,

“Yes.” After a few tests were done your suspicions were confirmed. You had lost the baby, and you didn’t know how to feel. Jay climbed into bed beside you pulling you into his chest letting the sobs soak his shirt while he rubbed you back, “I’m so sorry. I’m right here though, okay? I’m not going anywhere. I’m staying right here. It’s all going to be okay.” He promised kissing your head, and if it wasn’t for the man holding you, you weren’t sure if you ever would’ve believed that.

All Tag List:

@corebore123 @scarletsoldierrr @hehurst23 @beautiful-bunny89 @ingie @halsteadsway @malrunaway @smclelli @inlovewith3

Jay Taglist:

@justadreamxx @life-treatments @weepingfestivalmentality @toomuchtv95 @queen-of-arda

[burninglilys]

run for your life with me

Or, 4 times Pang and Wave imagine beginning anew and 1 time they actually do.

(#thegiftedweek, day one: new beginnings)

1.

"Do you ever think about running away?" Pang asks, his jaw clenched, staring determinedly at his bulletin board as though he'd posed the stupidest question that Wave has ever heard to the board and not Wave. 

It has only been three days since they decided to work together. Three long days, in Wave's opinion, who feels quite rattled at the influx of all that is Pang. He has been drenched in confusing feelings, too mingled up to pick apart the intricacies of it every time that he’s around him. Wave would love putting it in a tiny chest and hiding it under the loneliest corner of his mind, avoiding it all, but there this inexplicable  pull of Pang -- with his easy smiles and sharp mind -- that he just can’t deny. 

Wave peels his eyes away from Pang, who stands honey-hued in the room reflecting the sunlight that pours in from his window, and turns his gaze towards the board. 

"No," Wave replies, honestly. 

Pang startles at the answer, his arms that were sternly crossed against his chest falling at his side. 

"Really?" 

"Really," Wave confirms, looking at Pang again. "This is my reality. I have got to accept it because there's no way out of it but this."

Pang looks all out of sorts at that. "Why?" Wave asks, "Are you thinking about running away and starting anew?" 

Worrying his lip between his teeth, Pang clenches his fists again. "They're just fantasies, you know? Of running away, beginning again. It helps deal with the reality easier," Pang says in a small voice that Wave decidedly does not like. "I'm not actually going to do that, not when we have just started; certainly not when we have so much left." 

"Well," Wave starts, deciding to do something he'd only ever thought of as a mythical concept -- compromising, "As long as they're just fantasies."  He internally cringes at how sharp his voice sounds, when he actually means: please don't run away. I would not know what to do if you did. 

"It's just," Pang huffs, rubbing the flat of his palm on his face. "It doesn't hurt to imagine, you know? Running away from Rithda. A life where the director does not exist; a life where we can live in this bubble of ignorance about everything that's wrong with the education system as a whole."

Wave looks at him, at a complete loss for what to say. 

“You should imagine how you’d like to live your life away from this all,” Pang says. “It helps, I promise. Then you have an idea about the future that you’re fighting for. That we are fighting for. And we can get to building it right away, once this all ends. Or just away from it all, if it doesn't.” 

Wave chooses to ignore the multiple ‘we-s’ that scatter throughout all of what Pang said. "Yeah, right. As if you wouldn't do the same anywhere else. Running away from this responsibility of making things equitable for all is equivalent to running away from everything that makes you, you. A place would hold no power over it." 

Pang's eyes crinkle around the edges, his dimple deepening, as he lets out a laugh full of mirth. "Oh?” he asks, his tone teasing, “You know me that well, huh, Wave?” 

Wave hurriedly averts his eyes from Pang. “Shut up,” he grits out. 

“I thought you hated me,” Pang says, taking a step towards Wave. “I thought that you couldn’t stand to be around me.” 

“I can’t, you asshole,” Wave says, stepping away, ignoring the deeply contradictory feelings that run through him. “You’re the worst.” 

“You wouldn’t have agreed to work with me if that were true,” Pang hums, coming to stand beside him, their shoulder brushing against each other. 

Wave stares at the withering corner of the bulletin board, prepared to not look at Pang until he moves away. “I just hate the system more than you,” he says. “The enemy of my enemy is my friend.” 

“Your friend, huh?” Pang asks, bumping their shoulders together. “You think of me as your friend?” 

Wave sighs, turning his head to steal a glance from Pang only to realise that he is already being looked at. Wave holds his gaze, not dropping it despite how much he wants to, scared of the emotion that might just burn him from inside. 

“I think of you as an annoyance,” Wave answers and does not move away. “An annoyance who wants to bring down the system and yet thinks about escaping from it all.” 

“I am a complex person,” Pang states, turning his eyes away from Wave. “I could want it all, you don’t know.” 

Wave does not say: I would come and live with you in the bubble of ignorance if you ever decide to. Or: I could help us escape without a digital footprint in a second. Instead, he says, “Let’s get back to this so you can stop building castles in your fantasies away from all this.” 

“Not castles, Wave,” Pang says with a small smile on his face. “A small apartment for us would suffice, no?” 

2. 

Pang meets Wave’s eyes from across the canteen, his eyes neither blinking in recognition nor in any sort of liveliness as it usually does. Just blank. Always blank, these days. 

It is not that Wave expects Khun Pom’s potential to suddenly weaken in a way that makes Pang remember everything, but he still hopes. He hopes and he wishes in a fervour, losing his mind over the empty eyes that Pang looks at him with. 

“We will get to him,” Namtarn softly says, nudging their elbows together. 

“It is taking him too long,” Wave replies with undisguised impatience, stabbing into his food. 

“Don’t take it out on your food,” she says firmly. “We are going to find a way.” 

“What if we don’t?” Wave asks, surprising himself with the words that fall from him. “What if he never remembers? What if he just never remembers us?” Never remembers me?

“Wave,” Namtarn says, holding his elbow. “He is going to remember everything and everyone that he has forgotten. We are going to make sure of that, remember?” 

“But what if--”

“We will figure it out,” Namtarn says, gently. “Whatever happens, we will.” 

Wave gets less optimistic by the minute. Pang’s memories don’t ever leave him. It consumes him whole; it takes up the very little space he has left to give and takes up some more. 

Wave wonders what Pang would say if he were beside him in almost every situation that Wave finds himself in, his laughter filtering through his mind whenever something remotely funny happens, his warmth holding him tight when he thinks that he might just fall apart at all the blank looks he receives. 

Right now, Pang’s own voice reverberates somewhere behind his ribs, saying, "Do you ever think about running away?" 

Yes, Wave wants to say now. He should've always said yes; should've convinced himself and Pang to run away from it all if it meant having Pang safe. We should have run away when we had the chance all those weeks ago. We should’ve run away all those days in between. 

That thought begins unravelling a lot more than he’d ever signed up for. In the comfort of his room (that looks too empty without Pang’s overwhelming presence), he turns to his paper and pen. 

Pang, he writes, in my imagination, we are living in a small house by the beach. The weather is somehow always pleasant -- not too sticky, not too cold -- just perfect, all for us. We can watch the tidal waves from the long windows that house, I’ve decided. There is no Rithda, no vicious Directors trying to take all of what you fought for from you, all of what you remembered from you, and… and all of what I love from me. I like you a little too much, you know? There is just you and me, our house by the beach beside our friends’ houses, and the world promising a better present laid out for us. Come back to us -- to me -- please.”

Wave stops short at the monstrosity that he has written on the paper in front of him and crumples it in a ball, ready to throw it in the trash. Fantasies of a future that wasn’t for him were dangerous waters he really did not want to sink under. Nothing good ever came out of it. 

3. 

“It is not your fault,” Pang softly says, sitting beside him. 

"How is it not my fault?" Wave asks his voice tethering on something that might resemble a cry if he thinks too hard. "I asked her to go there! I asked her to go. Me. This would not have happened had I not."

"You could not have known," Pang says, sounding more rational than he ever has the right to. "If it's anyone's fault, it is mine."

"How?" Wave asks, edging on incredulity. "How is this your fault?" 

"The anti-gifted was formed because of me, don't you remember?" 

"The anti-gifted was formed because of their ideologies," Wave corrects. "This is not on you."

"Exactly why it's not on you either," Pang replies with a shrug. "It's entirely on the anti-gifted." 

Wave sinks into the uncomfortable chair of the infirmary, unable to look directly at Pang. "I asked her to go, Pang," he says in a voice he doesn't remember as his own. 

"I am the cause of anti-gifted," Pang replies easily, sounding as though he truly believes it. 

"We've been over this."

"Exactly," says Pang. "If I am supposed to stop blaming myself for this and believe in it the way you and everyone has been insisting, then you're not either. Those are the rules."

"Your rules are as stupid as you," Wave counters. Blaming yourself for being the cause of a group that is determined to pull the system down with unnecessary violence is not the same as directing your friend to go to an auditorium while there's a live bomb in it. Wave does not understand how Pang can't comprehend the difference. 

"Do you guys think that everything in this universe happens because of you both, huh?" Mon asks frustrated. Startled, Wave looks at her looming figure above them both, a sharp contrast to her red-rimmed eyes and how pale she looks. "You can be the most considerate people out there and follow all your plans well and yet there are things that you can't control! Like this! We could not have controlled this." 

"We could've --" Pang and Wave both start, before Mon interrupts again. 

"Seriously, guys. Just because you're the leader, Pang, does not mean that we've to agree to everything that you say. If you're blaming yourself for the 'anti-gifted', then you might as well blame all of us because we did agree to it. It was a mutual decision." 

"Exactly," Wave says in half-hearted triumph.

"And Wave, you did what any one of us would've done. Namtarn was the closest to the auditorium," Mon says, choking on her name. "Besides," she adds, resembling someone trying their hardest to keep it together, "it's not going to be that bad. We're going to keep in touch with her. It's not going to be bad at all!" 

"Whatever," Wave says, standing up, knowing full well that Mon is 100% right. "Whatever," he repeats, leaving the infirmary altogether. 

It is when he reaches in his room that his phone screen lights up with a message. Wave ignores it, feeling scrubbed too raw with the long day that they've all had. 

Pang (21:33)

do u ever think about running away? 

Pang (21:37) 

we could run away from this all. i could make them never want to look for us. u could erase our digital footprint. only mom and our friends would know who we are and where we are. we could change our names and delete everything. 

Pang (21:49) 

we could begin again. 

Pang (21:56)

one word from u and the plan is on. we leave tomorrow. 

Wave (23:06)

As if you could order someone to do something without feeling guilty. (As if you could leave this school before doing something about it.)

Pang (23:07) 

i culd if it meant us having a chance to begin again. (it doesnt hurt to imagine, wave.)

Wave (23:07) 

What would our new names be, then? 

Pang (23:08) 

haven't thought that far. all I know is that we'd b together

Wave (23:09) 

Where would we go? 

Pang (23:11) 

anywhere u want. we could leave the country and move into the countryside. we could stay in the country and live by the beach. we could go on the moon, if you'd like. anywhere with u. 

Wave (23:16) 

Anywhere with me? 

Pang (23:16)

anywhere w you. it's all I'd need, really. 

Wave (23:22)

Yeah. That's all I'd need as well. 

Wave (23:23) 

we're going to have to destroy the director first, though. 

Pang (23:24)

duh -_-

4. 

Ohm slams the door shut, leaving a tightly wound silence in the air, leaving Pang, of all people, heavy with defeat.

"When you're done being emotional about all this, call me," Wave says, causing Pang to look away from the door, at him. "I'll be waiting." 

A slow smile creeps on Pang's face. "You're really with me?" 

"Idiot," Wave answers. "How dare you question that?" 

"How can I not?" Pang mumbles. "Don't answer that. And I will call you. I promise. Unless…"

Wave crosses his arms across his chest, sinking deeper into the chair, urging him to go on. "Unless, you want to have dinner together. Right now," Pang continues, looking away. "Only if you want to," he hurriedly adds, "it's okay even if you can't. I mean, I'm sure--"

"Pang."

Pang meets his gaze. 

"I have instant noodles in the pantry. We can make them and go to the rooftop." 

Pang's face loses all of its uncertainty in an instant. "Yeah, okay." 

They make the instant noodles in silence and Wave has this urge to fill it. It had been way too long since they'd seen each other and although there's familiarity in Pang's presence, he doesn't know what's allowed anymore. Their hands brush against each other when they try grabbing the Tupperware at the same time and jump away from each other as though scorned. 

"Sorry," Pang awkwardly chuckles. "I just. Uh. Yeah."

"It's okay," Wave replies, moving towards him. "Just carry the Tupperware and I'll carry the drinks and the mats, okay?"   

The rooftop has always held a sense of permanence that Wave has never before attached to a place. It would only make sense then, for Wave to make it accessible for him even at night. Wave taps on a switch effectively turning on the LED light strips attached to every nook and cranny of the walls. Wave watches Pang -- completely transfixed with the way the rooftop is now enveloped with a soft-golden glow.

"You really did all this?" Pang asks in wonderment. 

"Obviously," Wave answers, "How did you think we'd be able to see our food, Pang?" 

Pang sheepishly holds out his phone. "The torch, I'd assumed." 

"Idiot," Wave mutters. 

Pang moves to bump their shoulders together. "You love me anyway." 

Wave does not acquiesce that with a reply, focusing entirely on setting the boxes as a makeshift table and placing their Tupperwares on it. "Eat," he says, shoving the chopsticks in Pang's hands and opening both their Tupperwares. 

"Give me your phone," Pang replies. 

"Why?" Wave asks, handing him the phone. He watches Pang tinker with his phone before soft, lulling music fills the atmosphere. 

"What's this for?" Wave asks, focusing entirely on his food and not on how this looks like -- a dinner with someone he likes akin to a candle light dinner with sombre music playing in the background. 

Pang looks at him with a tiny, indignant smile. "I'm here, at my favourite place with my favourite person, after days, Wave. Let me have this." 

Wave huffs, adjusting his jacket draped over his shoulders. "Alright, weirdo." 

Pang shakes his head, finally turning towards his Tupperware. The music fills in the gaps in their conversation and it's so pleasant, that Wave could almost forget about the impending doom that lies beyond them. 

They shift to lie side-by-side on their mat, a while after dinner. Their elbows brush against each other as they stare at the stars above them. 

"Do you ever think about running away?" Wave whispers, the wind around then picking up pace. 

"All the time," Pang says. "But I can't, now. We can't. We're too close to changing it all, Wave."

"I know," Wave replies. "But it doesn't hurt to imagine now, does it?"

Wave feels the pressure of Pang's gaze on him and determinedly does not look back. "It doesn't," Pang replies, shuffling to his side, his head resting on the fold of his elbow. 

"So," Wave says, "imagine this with me."

"A home on the outskirts of the city," Pang replies. 

"Like an apartment?" Wave asks, turning to his side as well. 

"No," says Pang. "A house. A home. We go to the university nearby. The Director feels like a faraway nightmare we barely remember."

"How are we affording an entire house on a student budget?" 

"Shhh. This is just a fantasy, Wave," Pang says, moving to ruffle his hair. Wave swats at his hand before reaching over to pull his hair, reveling in the delighted shriek he lets out. 

"Evil. Wave is so evil."

"Shut up. Tell me more about this. Are we still Pang and Wave?" 

"Always. We don't need to hide here. We're safe."

"We're safe," Wave smiles. "Seems unbelievable, huh?"

"We are going to win," Pang says, a shift in his tone apparent. "You know that, right?" 

Wave sighs, turning to lie on his back again. "We're going to give our best."

"And we're going to win," Pang says.

"Another one of your fantasies?" Wave asks. 

"No," Pang replies softly. "In my imagination, we're away from this all, Wave. We're safe and happy and… ah, nevermind. We probably volunteer in an animal shelter on Saturdays. Have movie nights every Sundays. Have one of those chore lists stuck on our fridge." 

"I scold you for leaving the kitchen cabinets open all the time and leaving your socks everywhere."

"And I scold you for taking all my things and putting them away."

"You probably just made a mess of our living room, Pang."

"It has to look lived in," Pang insists. 

"Lived in, not like a garbage dump."

"Garbage dump my ass," Pang says, chuckling. "Then, I bring you the strawberry ice-cream that you pretend to hate as an apology."

"And I let you choose the movie," Wave replies, his heart suddenly full of the possibilities of how it would be like to live together, attend a university together, have a future mapped out around each other. 

"There we go," Pang says, threading his fingers through Wave's hair. "What a perfect world to live in."

Wave looks at Pang, the love of his entire life, and sighs wistfully. "Perfect, indeed."

+1. 

"I would've never pegged you as the last minute packing kind of person," Pang remarks, zipping open Wave's bag that lies haphazardly on the floor. 

"I was busy, okay?" Wave sniffs at Pang slowly shaking his head in his direction. 

They had all been busy, after all. The high of their victory didn't fade away with the conclusion of their exams, strengthening with every moment that convulates since that day. It was Punn's idea in the end, to take his dad's private jet to Phuket and to spend a month there at his beach house, until they've to come back and face the reality of university admissions. 

"We were all busy," Pang says, shoving his clothes in that bag. "And yet, Ohm managed to pack, and you didn't." 

"If you want to complain so much, then don't help me," Wave mutters, not even bothering to fold his clothes properly. They were to leave in three hours and half of Wave's room was still nearly arranged in place. 

"Kidding, kidding," Pang concedes, laughing. Wave tries not to dwell on how carefree Pang's laughter seems now and fails, miserably. 

Out of all the people in the world who deserved to be happy, Pang was the most deserving, after all. Wave would do everything in his power to keep him smiling just the way he does.

"I'll clear the bookshelf for you as well?" Pang asks, dusting his pants off. 

"Obviously," Wave answers, turning away, knowing that he'd only end up getting more distracted than ever if he kept looking at Pang. "Just shove them in that bag," Wave points and gets back to his clothes.  

"Yes, sir," Pang replies, doing just that. 

It's silent for a few minutes before a thud, a yelp, and a sharp intake of breath. 

"Are you okay?" Wave asks, after a minute of silence, still not turning towards Pang. 

"Yeah," comes Pang's high-pitched reply, before he clears his throat. "Just fine, but, uh… you want to live by the sea?" 

Wave's heart touches his feet. 

"You imagine us… living together?" 

Wave is frozen on the spot, the embarrassment turning his insides into hot ash. He should have thrown that letter away all those years ago; should've thrown it and burnt it until all that remained of it were the permanent ink stains crushing his heart. Except...he couldn't. Like all things related to Pang, he couldn't just throw this away. Hiding it in a book he rarely touched was, in retrospect a bad idea, was something that he could have avoided. 

He hears some shuffling until Wave's chin is lifted by Pang, his eyes full of something akin to unabashed hope. 

"Let it go, Pang," Wave says, trying to snatch the crumpled paper from his hands. "It was from two years ago." 

All the mirth from Pang's face vanishes in an instant. "Oh. Oh, okay," he whispers, something broken -- Wave, a little too frantic to notice that. 

What can Wave even say to explain himself? That he started building a future only after meeting Pang? That Pang, without fail, painted the walls of his imagination with his presence? That Pang was in every single one of the new beginnings he thought of?

"I'm sorry," Wave whispers. "You don't have to…you don't have to think about this. Or reply to this. Or anything. I value you above all and I don't care if this doesn't…mean a thing to you."

Pang continues tightly clutching onto the note. "This is addressed to me," Pang says. "Can I keep it then?" 

Wave meets Pang's eyes. "It was when you couldn't remember us," Wave explains. 

"I got that," Pang replies, his eyes lighting up again. 

"It was when you couldn't...remember me."

"I got that too," Pang replies easily. 

How much more obvious does he have to be before Pang finally gets that? 

"I like you," Wave grits out. "That is what you don't get." 

Pang takes a step towards him, Wave following suit. "I always felt a part of me missing, when I couldn't remember you," Pang says. "I think, subconsciously, my eyes always looked for yours." 

Wave is rarely ever rendered speechless. This just prompts Pang further. He takes a step forward and weaves their fingers together. "I think my eyes will always look for yours -- in crowds and empty spaces. You're the first person I think of when I wake up in the morning. I want to tell you everything and anything that crosses my mind. Do you get it?" 

"What?" Wave whispers, trying to wrap his head around the reality of it all. 

Pang leans forward to press their foreheads together, bringing their interwoven hand to his chest. "I like you too," Pang says. "I like you so much, Wave. I don't see a future for myself without you in it. In my imagination, we were always away from all this, but we were also always together."

All breath seems to have been stolen out of Wave's lungs. "You...like me?" Wave asks. 

"I like you," Pang affirms, dropping his hand and wrapping it around his waist. 

Wave leans into him, resting his head in the crook of Pang's neck, tightening his hands around him. "You like me," Wave repeats. "I like you too. I like you so much."

Pang moves his head to kiss Wave's temple. 

"Do you ever think about beginning anew?" Wave asks. 

Wave feels Pang nod. "A small house, 10 minutes from the university that we have enrolled in." 

("Well, it's 15 by foot," will say Wave, three months from now. "But I think it's good enough.")

"We live there for a year or two before moving to a bigger one." 

("We were supposed to live here for a year, at least," Pang will say, a year from now. 

"But that one is bigger," Wave will insist. "And better. You can't deny that. The faucet doesn't drip all night long despite multiple repairs there." 

"Alright," Pang will concede, kissing the top of Wave's head. "I agree.") 

"We'll figure things out," Pang says, "one day at a time."

"But, together," Wave adds. 

Pang holds him closer. "Always together."

[arya-skywalker]

Starved for attention Part 2 (Sanders Sides Fanfic)

Notes: Aiming for 3-4 parts total, hopefully. Sorry for the wait and hope you enjoy! This one’s a bit fluffier.

Also thanks to the TSS Fanworks Server for bouncing ideas around! Apply here to join.

TW: imprisonment, starvation, malnutrition, touch starvation, bathing (implied nudity, no details)

Part 1

~*~

Janus stirred and rubbed his eyes groggily. It was difficult to tell time down here, but something told him it was roughly morning.

“Hey, Fangs.” Virgil was in the cell with him, curled up a few feet away with pillows and blankets. “Lo said you’re touch starved?”

Janus stiffened slightly. “When did you get here?”

“While you were asleep, obviously. Logan let me in,” Virgil said with a half smile. “You look cold. Can I at least give you a blanket?”

Janus nodded slowly. “Yesss.... pleassse.”

Virgil edged closer and gently draped the blanket over his shoulders. “We move at your pace. It’s alright.”

Janus huddled under the blanket, nuzzling the soft fabric. God it felt good. He looked back over at the anxious side. “Sssit next to me?” he asked, hating how small his voice sounded.

Virgil nodded and did so, leaving a few inches between them. “You can... uh... lean against me if you want,” he said.

Warm warm WARM! Janus waited a few minutes to get used to the idea that another person was so close, then hesitantly rested his head on Virgil’s shoulder. “Mm. You’re warm,” he mumbled into the hoodie.

Virgil laughed softly. “Yeah. I know. Do you want my arm around you or nah?”

Janus nodded, closing his eyes and nestling close once he felt the comforting pressure. A good warm. “I misssed you.”

Virgil was silent for a moment. His body tensed ever-so-slightly, but he didn’t let go. “I’m sorry. I was... scared. And I didn’t know.... I didn’t think it would get this bad. How long have you been like this?”

“Sstopped keeping track,” Janus muttered, pulling the blanket closer. “Better not to know.”

“Jan. You know this isn’t good, right? You’re so fucking skinny, I could count all your bones.”

“Oh really? I hadn’t noticed,” Janus drawled, then hummed thoughtfully. “Can I move to your lap? Floor’s cold.”

Virgil sighed. “Sure, whatever.” He gently helped Janus onto his lap, holding him to make sure he didn’t fall. “You know you can’t stay down here much longer.”

“Mmm. You have a better idea?” Janus curled up on his lap, head on Virgil’s chest, soaking up the warmth. “This issss my room now. The ‘dark side’ commonsss are a messs. Any other room could corrupt me, you know that.”

“At least you’d be in an actual bed!” Virgil scowled, then bit his lip. “Unless.... unless we make this place more habitable?”

Janus hugged the pillow and squinted up at Virgil. “Thiss iss a cell. It’s not ssupposed to be comfortable.”

“Who the fuck cares? You’re hurting, Jan. You need help.”

Janus looked away, watching the chains sway. “It could hurt you if you try. I won’t die. I’ll be fine.”

“Janus, look at me. You’re hurting yourself and it sucks. Let us help you.”

Janus’s tongue flicked out, then he sighed and looked back at Virgil. “If the cell fights back, you stop. Clear?”

Virgil smiled grimly. “Yeah. Clear,” he said. “Roman should be able to make some furniture or whatever.”

“Ssstay with me. Pleassse.” Janus closed his eyes tiredly, clinging loosely to Virgil.

“I’m here. Just get some rest, alright?”

Janus wanted to protest, but it was so soft and warm.... He found himself dozing off before he could say another word.

~*~

Janus burrowed into the pile of blankets and pillows. Soft and warm. Exactly what he needed.

But Virgil was gone.

He frowned slightly and sat up, wrapping a blanket around himself. “Virgil?” Janus asked softly. But there was no answer. “Virgil!”

He’s gone. He left you again. He still hates you.

Janus shook his head, hugging a pillow tightly. No. He just.... went to get some food. That has to be it.

Footsteps. Roman’s footsteps.

“Rise and shine, sleeping beauty!” Roman sang, twirling as he approached.

“Mmm. And what if I prefer to sstay coiled up in my nessst?” Janus countered.

Roman huffed. “I brought you more food! And some tea. You like tea better than coffee, right?”

Janus nodded slowly. “Did Virgil....?”

“Yes! He told me all about it! We’re going to make this place fit for nobility,” Roman said, beaming.

Janus shrunk into his nest of pillows. “Nothing too fancy. We don’t want to push our luck,” he replied.

“Ridiculous! You deserve the best, and I will give it to you!”

Janus groaned. “Roman, pleassse!”

Roman blinked. “Oh... you’re being serious?”

Janus glared at him. “Yessss I am.” He sighed and rubbed his face. “Jussst... baby steps. Ssee how the cell reactsss.”

“Well.... I guess,” Roman grumbled, then created a key and opened the cell door.

Again, Janus stared at the doorway. It was so easy for them to open it. Why couldn’t he just...? It wouldn’t hurt anyone... Maybe he could...

Roman strode inside, created a small table by the door, and set the food down. Then he clapped his hands and grinned. “Let’s get started! You’ll need a bed and a chair and a desk and a closet and a fireplace and—“

“Ssstop!” Janus held up his hands, then sighed and shook his head. “Sslow down, Your Highnesss. Remember, keep it ssssimple!”

Roman pouted. “But mon python, you deserve the best!”

“Thiss iss not going to work if you fight me every ssstep of the way,” Janus hissed, glaring up at him. Dammit, he felt so small.

He clenched his jaw, then carefully gathered his feet under himself and used the wall as support to stand. It hurt. His legs wobbled. His head spun. This was a bad idea.

Roman rushed over and caught him. “Whoa now! Careful, my frail flower,” he chided, holding him close.

Janus whined, but clung to him. This was embarrassing. He was Deceit. He was Self-Preservation. It shouldn’t be this hard to stand! “I’m fine,” he spat.

Roman scooped him up, which certainly didn’t help. “Here now, I’ve got you!”

Janus squeezed his eyes shut, hiding his face in Roman’s sash. Too fast. Too high. He felt Roman tense as the prince realized his error.

“Oh. Do you want me to put you down?”

“Mmm. Make a bed and put me down on it. A sssimple twin bed. Nothing fancy.”

“How boring!” Roman complained, but with a flourish he did so. “Fine. How’s that?”

Janus took a deep breath and looked at the bed, running his hand across the blanket. It was not too hard, not too soft. Certainly better than the floor and pillow nest. Luckily not too fancy either— light yellow cloth, metal frame with vague snake designs. “Thank you. This is perfect, my prince,” he said, resting his head on the pillow.

Roman beamed at the praise. “Oh goodie! What next?”

Janus hesitated, looking around the cell that had been his home for.... he didn’t even want to know how long. “I don’t need much, my prince,” he said.

Roman tapped his foot. “I know! Lights!” He snapped his fingers, making a large iron candelabra appear with half-melted candles, as well as twining fairy lights around some of the chains.

Janus sighed. “Very pretty, Your Highnesss, but I don’t—“

“Books! You like to read, right? You need a bookshelf!” Roman made a bookshelf appear. “What sort of books? Classics, of course....”

Janus felt a smile tug at his lips. “Forbidden love? With a side of anarchy?”

“Of course, charm snakelet!” Roman beamed, filling the shelves with various books. “What about music?” A record player materialized on top of the bookshelf.

“My prince, you ssspoil me rotten.” Goodness, when was the last time he had actual entertainment? He reached for Roman’s hand. “Come here, pleassse.”

Roman immediately knelt by the bedside and took Janus’s gloved hand, kissing it lightly. “I’m here, treasure,” he said.

Janus looked around the cell. It was already so much better.... but yet, the grime from before remained. “My prince?” he asked quietly.

“Yes charm snakelet?” Roman replied with a dazzling smile.

Janus blushed faintly. “I.... if you don’t mind.... do you think you could.... help me bathe?” He asked sheepishly. “I know I’m disgusting at the moment but...”

Roman snapped his fingers, making a claw-foot bathtub appear, already filled with steaming water and floral-scented soaps.

Janus sank into the bed. “Oh thank goodnessssss.....”

Roman gently helped him to the bath. “You’ll be shining like the sun in no time!”

“Mmmm.... thank you,” Janus murmured, carefully slipping into the warm bath. Clean. He would finally be clean again.

Roman’s touched was light, as if Janus were made of glass that could break at any second. But the bath was soothing as any massage. Once done, Roman wrapped him in heated towels before helping him change into clean clothes.

“Thank you, my prince,” Janus murmured, falling asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.

~*~

Logan visited yet again. “May I take your vitals now?” he asked.

Janus sighed. “We are imaginary. I don’t know what you think you’ll find,” he muttered.

“Your metaphysical state reflects that of a human. Well, in your case, half-human and half-reptilian. We cannot die, but we can become ill. If I find an issue that can be remedied, you will recover sooner.” Logan adjusted his tie.

Janus stared at him for a moment, then reluctantly nodded. “Very well. Do what you must.”

Logan opened the cell door and stepped inside. Janus looked away to avoid staring at the taunting path. He remained still as Logan checked his pulse, his lungs, his reaction times, and anything else that he could.

“I... have a hypothesis,” Logan said slowly.

“Do sshare with the classss,” Janus drawled.

Logan frowned. “There is no class—“

“Figure of speech. Continue, please.”

Logan cleared his throat. “I believe that observing some memories of when Thomas has utilized your function may help expedite your recovery,” he said carefully.

Janus blinked. “Watching memories of him lying and putting himself first and such?” he clarified.

“Yes, exactly.” Logan reached into his briefcase and pulled out a small box. “I have one here.”

“Does Patton know?” Janus looked at the box warily.

Logan adjusted his tie. “No, not yet. I made sure to choose a memory related to his education so it would be less suspicious.”

Janus took a deep breath and held out his hands. “Alright. Let me sssee it,” he said.

“Please tell me if you feel anything... strange,” Logan said, then placed the box on Janus’s open palm.

Janus opened the box, trying to ignore how much his hands were shaking. A warm light filled the room and the memory played out before his eyes.

Thomas, laying in bed, coughing— definitely a fake cough— begging his mother to let him stay home from school. Somehow she believed it. But as soon as the door closed, Thomas bolted to his feet and ran downstairs. He made himself breakfast of frozen waffles piled high with various sweets and put on the tv to watch The Office. A mental health day. Thomas was playing hooky to a day to himself. And apparently catch up on homework, but whatever.

Janus gasped once the memory faded and closed the box, feeling a burst of energy.

“Did it work?” Logan asked.

“I... think sssso,” Janus said slowly.

“How do you feel?”

“As if I downed an expresso with a chocolate pastry. A jolt of energy that will likely come crashing down in the not-so-distant future.” Janus tightened his grip on the box. “May I keep it?”

Logan wrote something down, then frowned. “Of course not. I must return the memory to Patton. Please hand it over.”

Janus hissed, recoiling with the box in his arms. “Sssay you losst it!”

“I will not engage in falsehoods if it can be easily avoided. Deceit, give me the memory, please.”

Janus glared at him. “Don’t want to.”

“You are being unreasonable.”

“Don’t care.”

“Deceit—“

Janus bared his fangs. “Get out!”

Logan took a step back. “I am only trying to help you without hurting Thomas or Patton. Surely you understand?”

Janus glared at him, holding the memory close to his chest. His tongue flicked out. “One day,” he said finally. “Let me keep it for one day. Then I will give it back.”

Logan hesitated. “You should not watch it too many times. Thomas might notice and begin obsessing over the memory.”

“Noted.”

Logan bowed his head and left, once again locking the door behind himself. Janus waited until the logical side was gone before rewatching the memory. His strength would return in time. He simply had to be patient.

[lowkeyleaffan]

Doctors Orders - Morgan Rielly part 3

A/N: Again no one asked but here’s a part 3 :) 

Word count: 2322 words

Warnings: just some swear words.

Mon Nov 18

You woke up the morning after your date smiling. You sat up and checked your phone, as soon as you checked it you can’t help but smile.

From Morgan: Hey, just got home. I had to help Tyson to his room and make sure he stayed in bed, that boy owes me big time.

From Morgan: Good morning 

To Morgan: that’s poor boy haha, and good morning 

From Cournty: hey! Do you have the day off? I’ve got some running around to do/doctor's appointment and don’t wanna brag Luna around

To Cournty: yeah, just have Jake bring her by before he leaves for the airport

You put your phone down before you go to the bathroom and brush your teeth. You return to your bedroom and grab your phone before you go to the kitchen and your phone goes off. 

From Jake: ill be at your place in 10

To Jake: okay

From Leah: i’m on my way home, coffee?

To Leah: yes please

You go and sit on the couch before you turn on the TV and watch the news. You were messing around on your phone texting Morgan about your plans and what time he’s planning on heading to the airport. You weren’t paying attention until the door opens.

“I found someone.” Leah says and you turn around to see Jake standing there with Luna in his arm. 

You jumped up and ran to the door before you take Luna from Jake and give her a hug. As soon as you hug her you move her to my hip and hug Jake. He gives me a kiss on the cheek before he puts the diaper bag down. 

“So, as your big brother I feel like I need to ask about your date.” he says and Leah comes and takes Luna to the couch.

“What do you mean?” you ask forcing a smile.

“I mean, you’ve been on two dates with him. Is it getting serious?” he asks.

“I don’t know J, you’re not meeting him if that’s what you’re hinting at.” you say. 

“Y/N, you never let me meet any of the guys you date!” he exclaims.

“Because you scare them away! Let me get comfortable before I introduce him to Jake Muzzin.” you say and he nods before he puts an arm over your shoulder.

“Meet me halfway. What’s the guys name?” He asks and you can’t help but bite your lip. 

“Morgan.” You say and you can see Jake eye you as if trying to see if you were talking about Rielly. Of course you were but no way in hell you're telling Jake that. 

“Weird. Mo is seeing someone named Y/n who’s also a doctor?” He says looking generally confused.

“Y/N is a common name. I’m sure there’s more than just me.” You say and he just nods before he drops it.

“Before I forget. You’re coming to the game on the 30th if you’re not working over night. Alex and Morgan want to meet you, I’m pretty sure Morgan thinks you’re fake because he’s never met you.” he says and you tense for a second. 

“Sure.” You say. 

“Okay, I gotta go I’m picking Mo up.” Jake says and you just nod as Leah brings Luna over. 

Luna puts her arms out to Jake who takes her a kisses her cheek.

“Bye my sweet girl.” He says says before he gives her back and I give him a hug. 

“Be safe please.” You say and he nods before he kisses your head.

“BYE LEAH!” He calls out.

“BYE JAKE!” She yells back before he leaves and you take Luna to the couch. 

Luna was on your lap as you put The Little Mermaid on and Luna giggled. You smile as your phone goes off signing a text from Morgan. 

From Morgan: So has your brother dropped his daughter off yet? 

To Morgan: yup and we’re about to start a Disney day!

You put your phone away before you cuddle Luna close to your chest as she giggles. 

The rest of the day was easy. You just watched Luna and talked with Morgan until his flight. Around 5:30 pm Country walks in the house, she comes right over to the couch and sits down before you hand her Luna and she looks at you. 

“What?” You ask and she just smiles.

“Just because Jake is dumb as a sheet of paper doesn’t mean I am.” She says as your jaw drops before you quickly recover. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You say quickly.

“Oh please Y/N, Morgan is seeing this young doctor named Y/N and you’re seeing a guy named Morgan?” She says and you just roll your eyes “so it is Rielly!”

“you can’t tell Jake!” You exclaim.

“I won’t, but you should.” She says and you sigh.

“I want to figure out what Morgan and I are first.” You explains and she nods before she gets up and walks towards the door.

“Don’t wait too long though y/n/n.” She says before she gives you a hug and leaves. 

You head back to the living room and sit back on the couch. At about 7 pm you decide to get up and go make some dinner. You began to make yourself mac and cheese when Leah walked in the room. She jumped up on the counter and looked at you.

“Yes I’ll make you and Carter dinner.” you say rolling your eyes. 

“Not what I was going to ask but thank you!” she says smiling.

“Whats up?” you ask as you start to grate cheese.

“I’m not going to be home this weekend.” she says and you nod as your phone goes off.

You decide to ignore it until you finish making dinner and putting it in the oven. You sat at the table before you open your phone and see Morgan texted and snapchatted you. His snapchat was just a goofy tired smile with the Vegas location tag, you smile and just send one back before you answer his text.

From Morgan: hey we just got back to the hotel

To Morgan: got back?

From Morgan: Muzz and Bears wanted to go to the strip

To Morgan: oh fun

The idea of Morgan and Jake hanging out wasn’t odd to you. You knew they did it but now that you’ve gone on dates and are talking to Morgan it made you feel uneasy. You pushed the thought to the back of my head when you heard the timer go off. You go take the Mac and cheese out of the oven and get yourself a plate before calling Leah and Carter. The two of them grabbed plates and sat at the table.

“So y/n, does Jake know?” Carter asks.

“Nope.” You say before you start to eat.

“Is he going to find out?” He asks

“Nope.” You say again and he just nods. 

The rest of dinner was silent until Leah offered to do the dishes in which you agreed and went to your bedroom. Looking at the clock that reads 9 pm, you put your phone on the charger before you go and get a shower. 

After showering and doing your nighttime routine you put on an over sized shirt and get into bed. Right as you were about to fall asleep there was a knock on your door before it slowly opens and Carter sticks his head in. He sees you in bed and he sighs.

“Do you have tampons?” he asks.

“Does Leah not have any?” you ask and he shakes his head “well, I hate to break this to you but looks like you’re going to the store.” 

He just sighs and goes to shut the door but you stop him making him turn around and look at you.

“Yes?” he asks

“Did Morgan say anything to you about last night?” you ask and he smirks.

“What was last night Muzz?” he asks raising an eye brow making you roll your eyes. 

“Dumbass, go to the store.” you say and he laughs.

“Fine, he did. He didn’t give me much just said he had a good time and can’t wait until they’re back.” he says and you nod smiling to yourself.

“Get me some Gatorade for tomorrow please.” you say and he nods before he leaves shutting your light off and shutting your door.

TUES NOV 19

You had woken up to your phone going off. Sighing you look at the time and see it was only 4 am and the hospital calling. Sighing you answer the phone.

“Hello?” You say.

“Doctor Muzzin! I know you’re supposed to be in at 6, but Doctor Jay has asked me to call you early because he’s concerned with Alexis.” Allison explains and you nod knowing she can’t see you. 

“Let me get dressed and I’ll be right in.” You say before you hang up and get out of bed. 

You quickly get up and put on your scrubs before you throw your hair into a bun and put your glasses on. You unplug your phone before you go to the bathroom and brush your teeth. Once you’re done you quickly go to the kitchen and grab your lunch before you get your keys and head out. 

You make your way to your car and start the drove over to sick kids. Seeing how it’s 4:15 am the streets were dead. You parked the car, grabbed your lunch bag and got out. You lock the car before you you head into Sick Kids and go to the 5th floor. You drop your bag in the staff room before you go to the nurses desk and punch in before you see doctor Jay. The second he sees you he thrusts a chart into your chest and you sigh.

“Good morning to you too doctor Jay.” you say as you open the chart and look at it.

“Good morning doctor Muzzin.” he says.

As you look at the chart you don’t see anything wrong. Sure her numbers are slightly elevated but nothing that concerned you, they’re actually lower than when you left the other day.

“Chris, what exactly is wrong with this?” you ask.

“Her numbers are high.” he says and you sigh.

“Did you look at her previous charts before you told Allison to call me?” you ask annoyed.

“No.” he says slowly.

“Chris, these are things you need to look at.” You say sighing “I understand you’re filling in for doctor Jasper tonight but you’ve been a doctor for long enough to know that you need to check her charts. Do you even know what medication she’s allergic to?”

“She's allergic to something.” He says and you look at him with your jaw dropped. 

“You didn’t even look to see that she's allergic to Ampicillin?” You ask and he shakes his head. “Doctor Jay you’re done for the night, thank you.”

“You can’t send me home.” He says and you look at him

“Excuse me? Yes I can. I am the shift doctor making what I say go and you called me in therefore relishing your authority. Plus I have more experience than you as a doctor on which automatically makes me take over when I start. Now this will be filed to doctor Montgomery who will look at it so would you like to add not listing to a superior to the list?” You ask and he shakes his head “I didn’t think so. Goodnight doctor Jay.”

With that he walked away and you went to sit down but Allison stopped you. 

“He kinda freaked out in the room and called me to ask me to call you in so Alexis parents are kinda freaked out.” She says smiling. 

You sigh before you grab her chart and walk off to her room. Once you get there you knock softly before you poke your head in. You see Alexis' parents look at you before they get up and meet you at the door. You stood back so they could join you in the hall. 

“First things first good morning. I would like to apologize for doctors Jay's actions this morning when he freaked you guys out. I want to assure you there is nothing wrong with Alexis. In fact her numbers went down so I would like to run another test today to see if they’re back up or if it’s finally going down for good.” You explain.

“Thank you Doctor Muzzin.” her mom says and you nod.

“Of course, I’ll come back around 8 for that lab okay?” You say and they nod before you leave them and go back to the nurses station and start writing an email to the head of pediatrics. 

As soon as you finished the email your day started and things got crazy. By the time 6 pm rolled around you were exhausted. When you rolled into your apartment you dropped onto your bed. You were about to fall asleep when your phone went off.

“Hello?” you answer half asleep.

“I haven’t heard from you all day so I wanted to make sure you didn’t die.” you hear the voice say and you instantly smile. 

“Nope just a 14 hour nonstop day.” you say.

“14 hours? Y/N that’s crazy!” Morgan says and you sigh.

“It is what it is Mo, It’s my job.” you say.

You end up talking with Morgan about your work and how he’s stressed that Babcock might get fired and how it’s a lot of pressure on him. The two of you talked until had to leave for pre game and you were about to fall asleep. Morgan promised to call you after work tomorrow. You went to the kitchen and reheated the mac and cheese from last night. You quickly ate before you went to your room and passed out as soon as your head hit the pillow.

[evabellasworld]

Alexsandr Kallus x OC

Ambush: Chapter 1

Masterlist: 1│2│3│4│5

Also on AO3

OC: Emma Tua

Tying her hair into a bun, Emma Tua grabbed her jacket hanging on the pilot's seat and rushed out of her ship. Oh dear, oh, dear! she said to herself, squeezing herself among the crowded hangar. She's going to be late, she said to herself. She's always late for briefings and meetings. The last to show up on every occasion.

As she walked into the briefing room, Mon Mothma, the leader of the Rebel Alliance, stared at her, making her uncomfortable. "Sorry I'm late, again," Emma uttered, scratching the back of her head. The red-haired senator from Chandrila sighed. "You're five minutes late, Private Tua," she crossed her arms.

Emma nodded as she wiped the sweat from her forehead with the sleeves of her jacket. "Anyways," she cleared her throat. "What's the mission?"

She pressed the button of the holotable, revealing a planet. "You and Captain Kallus will be going on a supply run on the planet Christophsis," briefed Mon, as she shows a bunch of supplies, all boxed up and arranged neatly. "Both of you will gather the supplies the Rebellion desperately needed and bring it to us. Am I clear?"

Emma raised one of her eyebrows. "That's it?" she scoffed. "Just get the supplies off Christophsis and bring it back to base?"

"Sounds like a piece of cake," she smirked.

"Don't overestimate yourself, Private," Kallus spoke, as he showed a fleet of Star Destroyers guarding the crystal planet. "Gathering the supplies will be easy but going through that blockade will be the difficult part."

Her smile disappeared as she saw the Imperial blockade over the planet, making her blinked twice. "Looks like I spoke too soon," she laughed nervously.

"Once we make it through the blockade, we both will land at Hangar Bay 6, where the supplies will be there with our informant," Kallus continued. "Then, we both will be on our way. If things go according to plan, the mission will be quick and smooth."

"Are you clear, Private?" Mon Mothma asked. Emma gave a nod. "Yes, sir."

As she dismissed both Kallus and Emma, they both made their way into the silver shuttle, where she found her son sitting outside, with his headphones on. "Hey Rocky," Emma tapped on his shoulder. Rocky glanced at his mother as he took out his headphones from his ears. "You called me?" the teenage boy spoke.

"I'll be away on a mission so you'll stay put with..."

"With Uncle Carter," he finished his sentence. "I know, Mom."

Emma grinned as he ruffled his jet black hair. "Be good, okay?" she winked, as she walked into the ship's cockpit and found Kallus seated on the co-pilot seat. "Are we good to go, Private?"

"Yup," she replied, as she sat down and warmed up the engine, placing both her hands on the steering. Pulling it up above the hangar bay, the shuttle flew out of the atmosphere of Yavin IV and was pulled into hyperspace. 

"We'll be there in Christophsis in two hours," Emma gave a reminder to the sandy-haired man. "Do you want a drink or something?"

Kallus shook his head. "I'm good," he said, glancing at the ship's window. "Thanks anyways, Private."

She let out a sigh as she got up from her seat and stretched her arms, heading towards the kitchen. She grabbed herself a cup and poured some water, taking a sip. Unlike some men she encountered in her life, she finds Kallus a little quiet. A little too quiet, perhaps. Emma laughed at herself as she thought about him. He kind of reminded of her late sister. Always focused on the task given to them and doesn't really interact much with strangers unless they have too.

Maybe I should get to know him better, she thought, placing her cup on the counter. Emma took a deep breath and returned to her pilot seat, taking a glimpse of Kallus. "So Alex," she began, hoping to break the awkward silence between them. "How are you adjusting to the Rebellion."

"It's alright," he shrugged, as he shifted his focus towards her. "I mean, it's a bit difficult adjusting to my new life but I had some help from Zeb and Maira."

"Maira Marago, eh?" she snickered, covering her mouth. "So how long have you both been together?"

"Well, we knew each other since we were six," he stroked his mutton chop beard. "We went to the same boarding school together."

"Looks like fate has brought you both together again," she commented, as she leaned against her chair and placed both hands behind her head. "You guys make a cute couple, you know."

Kallus let out a slight cough, with his eyes widened. "We grew up together under the same roof, Private," he cringed. "I can't imagine us going beyond that."

Emma burst into a peal of small laughter. "So you're basically available, huh?" she nudged, as she gave a wink. Kallus nodded, clearing his throat. "Yeah, sure."

His cheeks turned pink as he turned away from her, trying to focus on his task. Emma pushed strands of her brown hair behind her ear and straightened herself, taking a glimpse of his handsome face. "Besides Maira, don't you have other ladies in your life?"

"I don't have much time in life to find myself a lady," he sighed. "I find love a bit distracting."

She tried to contain her laughter as she slapped her knees. "That's a shame," she wiped her tears of amusement. "You have such a handsome face, you know."

Kallus tightened his lips as he felt his heart skipped a beat. For some reason, he felt like he met Emma before but where? He stroked his beard as he tried to recall the people he had met during his time as an ISB. He was sure that Emma used to serve the Empire as well but which department? Was she a politician? Was she an Imperial officer? He's not so sure. Emma doesn't really fit as those two departments, he thought. She's too talkative and laid-back to be one.

In a moment, their shuttle exited from hyperspace. Emma gasped as she saw a whole fleet of Star Destroyers blocking the planet of Christophsis. "That's a lot of ships," she stuttered, as she counted each ship with her fingers. "There's like six of them. Six, Alex."

"Don't worry, Emma," he assured. "I was told that this ship has a cloaking device. Am I correct?"

Emma nodded. "Yeah, we do," she said, as she activated the ship's cloaking device, making the ship invisible to Imperial scanners. Her heart beats rapidly as she gazed the Destroyers, remembering the time she was assigned to the Repulse as an Imperial Technician. She crossed her fingers, hoping that their scanners don't detect them.

Entering the planet's atmosphere, Emma was in awe as she saw the surface of the planet, covered in large crystalline forest, reminding her of a fairy tale world that her aunt used to tell her when she was a child. "It's beautiful," she smiled, gazing at the crystal building. Kallus gave a frown to Emma, hearing the statement.

"Too bad it's under Imperial control," he sighed, as the ship landed at Hangar Bay 6. "Now come on, we have no time to waste."

Emma bobbed her head as he followed Kallus out of her ship, loading her blaster. As she stepped out of the ship, she saw a few crates all stacked up, ready to be picked up. "We take all of them, right?" she asked.

"Yes, Emma. We take all of them," he answered, as he observed the surroundings around him. It's pretty quiet here, he thought. Perhaps too quiet. Where is the informant? Wasn't he supposed to be here? He opened the lid of one of the crates, only to find it empty.

"Emma," he held his hand, making her stopped on her tracks.

"What is it, Alex?" she wondered. "What's wrong?"

"I think we walked into a trap," he stammered. Before Emma could say anything, dozens of stormtroopers ran into the hangar, surrounding both of them. Emma and Kallus pulled out their weapon, leaning against each other's back.

"Don't move, rebels," one of the troopers ordered.

[jay-and-dean]

Je ne te mérite pas (I don’t deserve you) Chapter 4.

DeanxReader

Serie MASTERLIST

Warnings : Smut, swearing, Fluff, mention of violence.

Future warnings : Smut, Fluff, Angst, Violence.

Words : 5069 (I got carried away sorry...)

Chapter summary : The more Dean knows her, the more he needs her close. The more he spends time with her, the less he can keep his hands to himself...

Serie Summary : Dean and her can’t be together.If you ask Dean, he would list so many reasons : Her age, first. Not like she was a kid anymore, but he remerbers picking her from highschool not so long ago. Then Jody, damn, the girl is like a daughter to her, what kind of friend would he be ? He’d talk about her boyfriend and how he’s the opposite of himself. Of course he would expose how poisonous he is, how dangerous it is to be around him. He’d say he want to keep her away from nightmares… And he would conclude with certainly that she just won’t ever love him, why would she ?

If you ask her, she just might whisper with a heartbreack in her voice : “I don’t deserve Dean Winchester”.What if they where wrong ?

Note : It is my first time writting in english, so, forgive the errors.

Dean Pov

 She eats like she haven’t in three days, to be honest she barely did.

It took more than 14 hours in the car to go from the bunker to New Orleans, where that witch was using dark magic to kill people. We only stopped once on our way, sharing a motel room with Sam and Jack. She slept with Sammy on the biggest bed, I slept on the sofa, not getting much rest, looking at her all night, her body turned toward me, asking myself what she must be thinking of, how she could be so unfazed about what happened between us. She’s just all natural and chilled ever since the morning after, like nothing happened. I can barely think of anything else...

She eats in silence, Sam is talking about the case, about how she did great figuring out everything by herself, how impressive her knowledge on magic is. And I try not to stare while I stuff my mouth with that huge bacon burger I ordered. I agree with Sam, she’s impressive, she’s smart and cultured and brave. She guessed what magic was used in a heartbeat and found a way to counter the same day, avoiding four deaths. I agree with my brother but there is something else on my mind... I thought having sex with her would ease my desire but it didn’t.  That was a huge mistake because now I know how she feels, I'm an addict.

I tried to be reasonable : maybe it is just how forbidden this is, maybe it is just how secret and chill she acts, maybe I'm just an old creep. But the fact is, I just can't get her out of my mind. I'm obsessed by her. And what scares me is that's not only on a sexual way.

The waitress interrupt us and asks with a strong French a accent if we want anything else.

"Oh, vous êtes française ?" Y/n asks.

And they start talking, leaving us completely oblivious to what they are talking about. I heard her speaking French before, when she curses mostly, and sometimes in her sleep, but never during a conversation. It makes her even more secret and mysterious. When the waitress leaves, I look at her :

"Hey Y/n, tell me a secret in French."

She laughs and drinks in my coke.

"Why ? Why a secret ?" she asks taking a fry from my plate.

"I won't understand, but it will motivate me to try learning."

She looks at Sammy and Jack, then at her plate, and starts to touch her lips with the tip of her fingers. She sights and says :

"Le problème c'est que je ne dirai jamais mon secret à voix haute, même pas dans une langue que tu ne comprends pas." she said it so quickly I didn't memorized it like I had planned to.

 Your Pov

 You're in the front seat of the Impala, looking for a specific tape on Dean's box. He's driving, hands on the wheel, eyes on the road, the headlights emphasizing the road markings that reflect in his pupils.

Sam fell asleep and Jack is listening to your Ipod, smiling. You loaned him your books and music so that he can discover other styles. Nothing wrong with classic rock, but he never got the chance to hear anything else.

Each time you turn your head toward Dean, a smile appears on your lips so you try to look at the box, but you found the tape, and it's been almost twenty minutes, you have to say something, or pretend to fall asleep.

"Nice choice" says Dean hearing the tape you choose playing.

He smiles at you, landing his beautifully wrinkled eyes on your face. A vivid daydream conquers you : you see yourself leaning on him to kiss his jaw, him wrapping his arm around you shoulders, gently rubbing his stubble on your forehead. Without realizing it you sight.

"You okay sweetheart ?" he asks, putting his hand on your knee for a second.

This is torture, you want to kiss him so bad it hurts. Your lungs refusing to breathe deeply enough as long as your breath won't be used to tell him how much you love him. You can still feel him inside you when you concentrate on your memories, but the feeling of belonging to him is fading away. Your stomach aches, it is worse now, everything is worse ;every time you thing you couldn't love him more, you're wrong.

"Hey, Y/n, you want me to stop ?" he looks so concerned suddenly.

"No, no Dean, why ?" but the answer to that question hits you when you hear your own voice : it's hoarse and sad.

You lift your hand to your cheek and feel it's wet. Fuck. You're crying.

"Tell me" he says.

"It's nothing, I'm just tired." You dry your eyes and smile.

"I don't believe you. Please don't withdraw into yourself like you always do. Talk to me. Please” his voice is so serious and deep, you look down, trying not to cry again.

“I don’t do that…”

“You always do.” He declares. “I know you’ve been through hell but don’t be so harsh. Each time we try to reach you, you shut us out. Y/n you’re family…”

“No I’m not” you cut him. “I’m your friend, family is a big deal, Dean, don’t use that word excessively…” you say low, trying not to sob.

“You see…” he looks at you with sad eyes. Sincerely sad, and it is all it take to make a tear shed on your face.

“I’m just saying…”

“Don’t you trust me ?�� he asks.

“I do.”

“Doesn’t sound like it” he states sorry.

“I do. I really do. I just don’t… trust myself.”

That’s it, you’re sobbing, he gently pulls over and stops the car. You stay still, even when he leans to you. He takes you in his arms and squeezes a little, putting one of his hand on the back of your head, keeping it between his shoulder and his neck. You can’t be silent anymore, you burst into tears.

“It’s okay sweetheart, it’s okay…” he says, wrapping you completely.

You grab his coat with both hands, ignoring Sam and Jack worried looks. You cry louder and louder, it’s like the dam broke. You cry because of your pain and for the family you lost, for the family you found and for the nightmares. You cry because your scars are ugly, because you don’t know how to deal with Sasha’s love without hurting him, because you are so damn angry all the time. You cry because you love him so much it kills you and because it is the best thing in your life.

“It’s okay” he says very low. “She’s just tired.” And you notice Sam’s hand on your shoulder.

“I’m… so… I’m so fucking… angry Dean…” you sob.

“I know” he says rubbing your back.

“He took everything… He… my body… I…” You can’t talk clearly but still try to. You want to open up to him, you need him to save you from drowning in yourself.

He kisses your forehead and you feel his chest tense, like he tried not to cry, his breathing short. You know Sam and Jack are staring, but right now there is only Dean.

“All those… thoughts and all those fee… feeling Dean. I can’t… I don’t know… How am I supposed to deal…”

“That’s the thing b… Babygirl, you’re not supposed to deal with this alone.” He says squeezing a little more.

You feel something new, like a tension in your belly is fading away, though you didn’t even know it was there all this time. The anger finally shuts up and you notice you lived in his din for so long. All there is left is sadness, it’s heavy, but it’s silent, relaxing.

“Je ne te mérite pas…” you whisper, your lips agaist his neck.

 Dean Pov

 Back to the motel, I took a bedroom for the three of us, Sam, Jack and I, so she could relax, but she asked me to stay with her a little...

We spent the night talking, really talking.

She told me about France, about the few memories she has of her mother, told me how strange it is to her that she remembers perfectly the customs and French and the taste of food there, but how she forgot most of her personal memories. The name of her mother sounds strange to her, like it was remote, she doesn’t remember anything about her father. She told me how she never fitted in, even then, because of her abilities, how lonely she was.

Then she told me about Father Joey. About that resignation, that strong instinct of survival and how it scares her that she never rebelled, because she was seeing the others die. She told me about the torture… She cried again, showing me one of her scars, a cross on her upper thigh, just below her ass cheek. This was the worst, she couldn’t sit for weeks and it became infected, she got fever and thought she would die. She talked about this one for a long time. It was painful to hear, and I had to bite my cheek not to cry, mostly because I hate thinking of her pain, but also because I can relate to this kind of pain.

What I hadn’t see coming was me opening up to her, talking about hell in details for the first time, about my mom when she died, when she came back… I hadn’t anticipated that I would have so much to say about physical pain, how desperate I feel when I get new wounds before the last one are healed… I hadn’t anticipated how easy it would be to talk to her.

She took me in her arms and told me how brave she thinks I am…

She said she was sorry. Sorry to be wary and sorry she hurt Jody. Sorry I thought she didn’t trust me. There is nothing to be sorry about, she’s perfect. I couldn’t tell her but I kissed her forehead and gave her my best smile.

I told her I’m sorry for that night, sorry I couldn’t stay away. She took my hand and locked her damp eyes in mine

“Dean, I’m not a child. Stop acting like you did this alone. I wanted this to happen”, she said.

So I talked about Sasha, and she became nervous. At first I thought it was because she cheated on him, but she started explaining their relationship to me. It was a shock and I felt so bad for him. What it must be to be in love with her, hearing her constantly saying that she doesn’t love you, that she has sex with other dudes ! I’d be such a mess.

She asked for advice… for the first time I heard her ask for help. But I couldn’t help her, who am I to tell her to break up with him ? Am I even sure I would give her that advice for the good reasons ? Shit, I’m so lost.

I wanted to know her and now she finally tells me everything, it’s like she let me in, opening her heart completely. I should be thrilled, instead of that I’m terrified.

 She’s hunched, arms around her knees, back against my chest. We gave up sleeping and started watching TV half an hour ago to doze before Sammy knock on the door. She’s laughing quietly at the cartoon she’s watching, and I’m breathing her hair discreetly, asking myself why Jody thought she was so in love with Sasha.

“I should get up and take a shower” she says clouded.

“It’s five. Sammy won’t knock until six or seven. Don’t you want to sleep a little ?”

“I’ll sleep in the car, and I’ll sleep in my bedroom. Right now I just don’t want to sleep” saying that she turns her head toward me, her nose an inch away from my mouth.

She looks at me and my heart start beating faster. I want her. Really bad. I could rip her closes off and take her here and now. None of those open discussions and friendship display have changed anything. Her mouth looks delicious and I want to feel it everywhere on me, I crave her hand on my crotch, my mouth watering at the idea of going down on her, sinking my nails in her thigh to keep her still while she falls apart…

I can feel it, the control go numb, and I lift my hand toward her.

 Your Pov

His hand comes up and brushes your throat, his thumb coming to your cheek. You're captivated by his face, looking at you so closely. You keep your head turned toward him, your back against his firm chest, his hand lingering on your jaw and neck.

What if he wanted you again ? Why ? Your eyes must still be red from crying all the tears, your hair messy, shadows under your eyes...

He sighs deeply and his hand travels along your collar bones, he leans on you and plant an open mouth kiss on your jaw. Without realizing it at the time, you squeeze your thighs together, feeling heat invade your all body.

"Fuck" he says. "You're blazing..."

He kisses your jaw again, his hand traveling down your shirt and slipping under it, immediately coming to cup your breasts, surprised to find no bra -you took this uncomfortable shit off the last time you went to the bathroom-. You moan and shift a little, to let one of your leg fall onto the mattress. His second hand comes on your thigh, preventing you from squeezing your legs again. He breathes fast you feel his heart beat like crazy. Your brain doesn't know what to do with all that : Dean is turned on, why ? Why you ? Is it because of something you did ? Did you tease him again ?... You can't think straight and you don't want to. You just need him.

You stretch your neck to reach his lips and he turns his head to kiss you. Kissing Dean again... Having his perfect plump lips on yours again. You want to turn around to face him, and kiss him all you want but his hands keep you still. You whine but he just smiles.

"What are you trying to do, Y/n ?" he asks.

You try to shift toward him but you can't move.

"What do you want ? " He says caressing your nipple with his thumb, and letting his other hand go up your inner thigh.

"You..." is all you can say in a plaintive moan.

He groans and wraps his arms around your chest to lift you just enough to push his left leg on your side, sitting you between his thighs. He takes one of your breast firmly in his huge palm, pressing your body against his. His erection leans on your lower back, and he thrusts it with restrain. You don't want him to refrain, you want him to take all he wants, to give him all he needs, so you roll your hips, pressing your ass against his crotch.

"Y/n..." he moans. "Fuck..."

And suddenly the hand on you thigh slips pass the waistband of your pants and in your panties. You jump and put a hand on his wrist like you wanted to stop him, but you can't, and you don't even try hard.

His middle finger teases you, his teeth come to you neck, nibbling. You start to pant, feeling you pussy soaking his hand. He gently caresses your clit then puts his finger inside you, making you moan and shake and pant.

"Dean... why..."

You want to ask him why he doesn't seek satisfaction for himself instead but you can't talk. He adds his forefinger inside you and goes as deep as he can, thrusting slowly but with force and determination.

"Ah !" you groan, letting your head fall back on his shoulder.

His mouth is on your jaw, kissing, biting ; and the palm on your chest comes up, wrapping again you throat without squeezing. His waist moves by itself, seeking release.

"Dean... Dean take me..." you moan but it only makes him bend his finger inside you and touch your clit with his thumb.

You can't speak anymore, you just breath heavily, mouth agape, head on his shoulder, eyes closed. Your body is trembling and your pussy is throbbing around his fingers harder and harder.

"Please..." you just beg in a wail.

"Yeah Baby ?" he asks panting.

"Please..." you whisper, not even able to think anymore.

"Fuck, Y/n. Open your eyes".

You try to obey but you can't control you body anymore."

"I ca... I can't !" you whine.

"Look at me" he insists. "Look at me when you come".

You open your unfocused eyes and just see his sweaty face before all goes blank.

Maybe this is heaven.

Maybe you're dying.

You couldn't care less.

Your body is feeling everything and nothing anymore.

It's perfect.

Then you come back slowly. His fingers still inside you, his mouth on yours, kissing your parted lips, still stroking his crotch to your back. He withdraw his fingers and it's like nothing's keeping you upright anymore, you slide a little.

Then he gets up in a flash and locks himself in the bathroom, slamming the door loudly. You look at the door in shock and try to get up, soaking your own thigh, your legs numb. When you reach the bathroom door, you hear him moan and groan, you even hear the noise his hand makes against himself brutally. You knock on the door.

"Dean... open the door."

He doesn't answer.

"Dean, please let me help..."

But he never comes out or answer and you sit against the door, completely lost, now hearing the shower run.

When Sammy knocks on the door, Dean gets out all clean and ready almost making you fall, he opens the door to Sammy telling him you need to shower because he called dibs in the bathroom, and follows his brother outside.

 Dean Pov

 Everything hurts. My body is covered in bruises and my brain tortures me.

She went to Sasha's and stayed a few days in the bunker alone because she had exams almost each days during two weeks. She's not here and it makes me sad, like all of the world was empty. I can't fully control my body anymore, everything makes me think of her falling apart in my arms, pleading me, and I get boners every twenty minutes. Yesterday, a bag I was holding squeezed my fingers, the one I used to make her beg, and I had to touch myself before breakfast...

So I hunt. I hunt and fight violently, ripping flesh and breaking jaws. It need it.

I see how Sammy looks at me, worried, like when I had the Mark of Cain, only I don't have it anymore. I'm only fucking obsessed with the most forbidden girl in my entourage.

"Okay, what is it ?" he finally asks on the way to our next hunt.

"What ?" I ask innocently, keeping my eyes on the road.

"This ! You !" he makes fun of me. "Can't we just take a break ? This nest sounds huge, couldn't we send more numerous hunters ?"

"Call backup if you think you have to but I'm going" I say making him sigh.

He looks at me, turn the music down and asks :

"Does it have to do something with Y/n?"

"What about her ?" I ask trying not to sound panicked.

"I don't know, you two seem very close and..." he tries but I cut him.

"She's our friend, yes, and ? I'm not the one constantly texting her..."

I like that they text so much, because it's a way to have news of her several times a day without asking myself, and it allows me to use that argument.

I turn the volume up.

__________________

Okay maybe I went too hard on myself. Taking this hunt was a bad idea, I was tired, I was reckless. I'm hurt. Sam is making stitches on my back, where the glass cut my skin, I see what he is doing on the mirror, and I see the huge bruises covering my entire back. I wince when he pulls a shard out of my flesh.

"You are in pieces" he says. "You should clean up your face, it's cut everywhere. That was a bad idea. We're going home now, maybe Y/n can convince you to rest".

If you knew Sammy...

The journey is long and painful, my back hurts like a bitch, my left shoulder can't move, my lower lip is so cut I bleed when I try to speak, my knee aches and I limp. I feel like I'm ground inside, and I think of her...

 When I open the bunker door, I hope she's awake. I just need to see her, talk to her maybe, know how her exams went, let her ease my pain with her smile. But it's late and there's no light on...

Sam takes a big glass of water in the kitchen and says he's heading for bed. I look around, and sit at the kitchen table, she must be sleeping, good for her. I should go to bed too but knowing she's just there frustrate me too much, I haven't seen her in almost three weeks. I get up to take a beer when my phone rings.

"Let me see how bad it is" her text says. She's not asleep !

"What ?"

"Sammy told me you were wounded..."

I put my beer down and head for her room, feeling my willpower fade.

I knock and she opens the door, wearing a flannel of mines, her legs naked. Did she do it on purpose ? I mean, she knows what she does to me, doesn't she... The warm light of her bedside lamp pacify me. Seeing my face, she looks hurt and open the door widely so I can come in. I wanted to tell her many things but I stay silent, looking at her examining my face with frown brows.

"Does it hurt ?" she asks quietly.

"Yeah..." I admit, like I don't have to be brave, like I just won't lie to her.

And I turn around. She understand and raise my shirt, revealing my badly bruised and cut back.

"God, Dean" she says, gently brushing her fingers on my arm.

She skirts me and stand in front of me with a really pained look.

"Why ?" she asks.

"It's the job Y/n..."

"No, you should have called me. Dean..." she nestles her face on my chest. "And you're so cold... Dean this is unfair" she whispers.

I put my hand on her head and try not to think about kissing her. I feel like I could cry, being here is the only thing I want, but I have to go.

Before I can move she takes a step back and starts unbuttoning her flannel looking me in the eye. I try to speak but she lets it fall at her feet, leaving her in only her black panties, her body on full display for the first time. Her breasts I love so much, so soft and round, her belly, her belly button, her waist, soft and calling me. This body I dream of all the time, this body I know by heart by studying it through her clothes, this body I get to see for the first time... She 's got scars everywhere, like freckles, some tiny some larger, representing symbols, I don't care about them, hell I love them, because they are part of her, because it is who she is. I take the time to look at her, biting my lips to prevent myself from kissing her.

She takes a step toward me and takes my shirt off. I wince because dressing and undressing is really painful these days, but she makes it easier.

"Y/n... This is..."

"Shhh, let me take care of you for once" she whispers, and then she kisses my shoulder, right below stitches I have there.

She puts a hand on my chest and kisses my jaw where it is purple, then she kisses my lips, where it's not cut. I take a deep breath and kiss her back eagerly, hurting myself.

"Hey..." she whispers, brushing her thumb on my bleeding lip. "Why are you so cold ?".

I don't know, exhaustion maybe... I shrug but that hurts to. She slowly wraps her arms around my neck and play with my hair, pressing her almost naked body on mine, her breasts crushing against my skin. She's so warm, so soft, everything my life is not...

She makes me take a few steps back until I have no choice but to sit on her bed, and she stays standing before me. She comes between my legs and her beautiful chest is to the height of my eyes, I lean my forehead on her skin, and wrap her by the waist, taking her softness and her warm as close as possible. I could cry. She strokes my hair and my neck gently, letting me kiss her chest and her stomach, and exploring her back with my two hands.

We've never been so intimate. I'm not in a rush, I could cuddle all night, forget I can't have her, forget about Jody and everyone else, forget this is wrong.

She slowly falls on her knees and her face is just below mine, I kiss her again. And again. She smiles on my lips and puts her hands on my thighs, rubbing them gently, massaging my sore muscles. Then she starts unbuttoning my pants and I sigh at the idea of her touching me there.

"Y/n..."

She slips her hand on my jeans, touching me through my boxers. Fuck she's killing me. I'm so hard it hurts ; I wince and close my eyes. She stops and take my pants down, and then my underwear and let them hang on my calves, stuck by my shoes, making me lift my ass for a second. She kisses my stomach and gets back on her feet, watching me.

Am I to old for her, not brawny enough ? Maybe she though I looked like Sam underneath, I don't, I'm pale and a little chubby here and there... Oh, she's looking down...

"I..." I try to find something to say but she puts a finger on my lips, and kisses me.

She takes her panties off and I can feel my mouth watering. Fuck, I can see how wet she is from where I am, a discreet drop rolling on her inner thigh. How can she be so turned on by me ? How can it be so simple ?

She straddles me and I can't take my eyes off of her pussy, but she wraps her hand around my cock and I close my eyes. For a second I hear only my own breath, and feel only the bolts of electricity her fingers send through my entire body. I imagined that so often : that it was her hand stroking me, not mine.

I open my eyes and meet hers, they're wet and she's biting her lips, why do I see so much emotions on her face ?

"Y/n, I... you don't have to..." I moan but she cuts me by kissing my lips carefully, to avoid hurting me.

"I want you so much Dean..." she whispers getting closer, and this sentence almost makes me come in her hand.

"Then have me" I say touching her ass and kissing her.

"It's about you Dean... what do you want ?" she asks in my ear, still stroking me gently.

I can't lie to her, I don't want to, so I kiss her lips, her jaw, her collarbone, and I moan :

"I want to be inside of you."

Where it's safe and warm and perfect...

She whimpers and kisses me three times before lining herself with me. She sinks slowly and her breathing fasten instantly, I focused on her body swallowing me. Once her pelvis touches mine, she stops and closes her eyes for a moment, then she starts rolling her hips, sending me to heaven.

I look at her, at her beautiful, sweaty, flushed face, and take her in my arms kissing her lips again, wrapping her with one arm, touching her breasts with the other.

Despite myself I start meeting her thrusts and she clings to my neck, panting.

"Y/n... Oh God, Y/n..." I say low, unable to form a sentence.

The pain is gone, it's all gone. I take her ass in my hand and thrust a little deeper, making her groan. I feel it, how close she is, how lost her eyes are, I love this. I want to see it, I have to hold on a little longer. I want to stay inside her forever but I also want to fall of that cliff so bad...

"You..." she moans out of breath, taking my head in her hands, trying to kiss me but failing when I thrust deeper, her mouth open against mine. "Ah ! You..."

Suddenly her body shakes and burns, her pussy throbbing hard around me, making me fall of the cliff. I still deep inside her and feel I'm filling her up, my head falls back and I open my mouth, unable to make a sound.

We stay like this for a moment, breathless and nested. I should go but I just can't, so I kiss her lips again, and take her with me on the bed. I can't press on my back, so I lie on my stomach and she grazes my wounds with her fingers, kissing my skin now and then.

"It can't become a habit" I murmur, hating my own voice.

"Yes" she says and lay her naked body besides me, looking into my eyes.

 I hope I don't fall in love with you, Y/n.

[penelopelovesalvez]

A Lucky Night- Chapter 4

Here is my multi-chapter pic featuring characters I do not own from Criminal Minds, Alvez x Garcia, in a story of my own creation. It picks up at the end of 13.5.

Warning: Some chapters contain smut. While many do not, the ones that do are definitely 18+, NSFW.

Please feel free to re-blog and review! Please ask for permission before posting on any other platform.

Penelope smiled, ushering her lovies to help themselves to food. “I love having all my people here, with good food and plenty of wine. What more could a girl need?” she mused happily to herself. She smiled as she watched JJ sit down on Will’s lap, feeding him a bite of food from the plate she balanced on her knee. Rossi was pouring himself a scotch, having already passed a tumbler to Reid. Prentiss has heaped a plate full of food and set it down on the mantle as she fiddled with the iPod that was pumping subtle music into the room. Glancing around, she noted Luke was in the kitchen tidying things up. He had pushed his sleeves up to his elbows, revealing the expanse of his muscular arms. She thought to herself, “I suppose I will have to go play hostess and get him to join the festivities. After all, it’s my duty, right?” 

Penelope strode back into the kitchen, placing a hand on Luke’s bicep. “Hey Newbie, you better grab some food before Rossi eats it all. Here, try the goat cheese dip I was talking about,“ Penelope said. She reached out with her other hand, dipping a piece of the crusty bed into the melty cheese. Turning back to Luke, who was now facing her, looking down at her with an intense look, she put the bread up to his lips and watched as he opened his mouth. She gently placed the bread in between his gorgeous full lips, when a small piece of cheese fell and landed on the edge of his lip.

Luke was amazed that she had come into the kitchen seemingly with only the purpose of drawing him into the festivities, and then she actually fed him fondue or something from her hand. He felt the cheese hanging off the edge of his lip, and dared to catch it with his tongue, licking her finger in the process. He watched as are eyes, locked on his, darkened and her cheeks flushed. Her hand was still curled around his arm, clutching his muscles through his shirt and he was nearly overwhelmed by the urge to grab her wrist and haul her into his chest.

Penelope shook her head, ending the heated exchange. “Here, let’s make you a plate,” she urged, turning back to the table of food. She could feel his eyes on her, watching her movements. She scooped some of her favorite items, along with the steak she’d ordered just for him, onto his plate. “Here ya go Luke,” she said, offering him the plate.

He smiled down at her, that wolfish grin on his face again. Nodding his head at JJ and Will over on the couch, he asked, “There’s plenty on that plate, would you like to share, Chica?”

Her eyes widened. She wondered if he was merely referring to sharing the plate of food, or if he was suggesting she share his lap the way JJ was perched on Will’s.  “Oh, mon coeur, you couldn’t handle all this.” She replied, in a teasing, self-mocking voice.  “Too rich for your palate. Plus, I’m sure you’d be more comfortable if I found my own chair,” Penelope said, patting his arm absently. She missed the flash of irritation that flitted across his features as she turned and strode across the room to pull out a folding chair from the closet. She set the chair up, reminded Emily to grab something to eat, and turned to stride back across the room, past where Luke was sitting in her cozy, purple armchair.

Luke sat in the chair, setting his plate down on the table next to him. His eyes followed Penelope’s movement shrewdly, calculating. As she walked past on her way to the kitchen, he reached out and grabbed her by the waist. Before she could even grasp what was happening, he pulled her down into his lap. He settled her onto his thighs so that she leaned against the arm of the chair, legs dangling over the opposite arm, and his muscular arm wrapped snugly around her waist.

Startled, she looked into his laughing face. She was literally left speechless. She couldn’t remember the last time she had sat on a man’s lap. Certainly, neither Sam nor Kevin, or really any of her other exes or men she had flirted with had ever pulled her onto their lap! She may have sat on Derek’s lap once or twice, but it was during awful moments when she needed comfort. It certainly was NOTHING like what was happening currently.

Luke smiled, seeing Penelope’s shocked expression as she took in her new position. It was amusing to be the one causing the stubborn, independent woman to unravel just a bit. “See, Chica? I told you we could share. Hmmm, you might be pretty rich, but I can sure handle all you got to offer,” Luke growled into her ear, a smile on his face and his eyes challenging her to disagree or make the next move.

Penelope threw her head back, laughing exuberantly. She could feel the firm muscles of Luke’s thighs below her own, the washboard abs through his soft, cotton shirt, and the warm, possessive press of his arms around her waist and back. His warm breath sent shivers down her back as she felt him start to chuckle. Conversations around the room stopped, and the rest of the team stared at her, curious and interested. Rossi began to open his mouth, “Kitten,” he started. But before he could make whatever sarcastic statement came to mind, she chuckled again loudly, “Oh Newbie, you certainly got a head start on that responsible intoxication while I was getting ready. You better slow down, or you might end up dragging Rossi onto your lap,” she announced loudly for the benefit of their team. She pushed her body up into a standing position, extracting herself from his embrace -although he flexed his arm muscles for just a moment, as if to hold her there on his lap.

Luke’s eyes flashed in irritation as she spoke and pulled out of his grip. He refused to let go of her waist, holding her to him a moment longer before he admitted that she had effectively backed him into a corner where he either let her get up good=naturedly or confessed his feelings for all to listen. As quickly as he’d allowed his armor to fall away he schooled his features once again into the easy going, good natured, stoic persona he normally displayed. He thought to himself that one day soon he’d show her just how stubborn and determined he could be, and how much she could enjoy allowing him to call the shots, bringing his beer up to his lips.

Penelope strode straight to the kitchen, passing the plates of food she normally would have been ready to devour after such an emotional, exhausting weak. But after that … whatever it was… what she needed was a tall glass of liquid courage. “What had just happened?” she silently wondered. Penelope glanced back over her shoulder as she pulled the wine stopper out of the bottle. Her friends had gone back to their previous activities, eating and talking. The sounds of their laughter and conversation, and the mellow music playing over the stereo, could not distract her from how warm the room suddenly felt as she brought the bottle over to the glasses on the counter. Nor could it prevent her from noticing that the one person who hadn’t resumed talking and eating, who hadn’t moved at all actually, was staring at her.

She allowed herself to take in his posture. His plate still sat untouched on the table, his feet were still planted, and his hands now gripped the arms of the chair. His gaze narrowed as she caught his gaze, and his jaw clenched briefly. She didn’t break eye contact as she brought the glass to her lip and gulped three mouthfuls of the cool, crisp white wine- the hand holding the glass just slightly trembling. She saw something spark in his eyes, as he nodded imperceptibly.

Luke smirked, watching her hand shake as she gulped her wine. “Yeah, she’s definitely not unaffected by me,” he thought, smirking. He causally stood, grabbing his plate, and wandering over to where Rossi and Reid were discussing an Italian art exhibit on tour at a local museum. He was going to let her relax. The plan coming together in his head would work better if she was relaxed, not watching his every move. He watched her let out a shaky breath, before making a plate and joining Emily, JJ, and Will.

Luke enjoyed his conversation with Reid and Rossi, as he always did. However, using his well-honed skills from his days as a Ranger, and then on the fugitive task force, he managed to track her movements out of the corner of his eye. He realized she has no idea what effect she has on him. Carrying on his side of the conversation just enough to avoid suspicion, he pondered all he had learned about her since he had joined the BAU. She cared deeply for her team, as if they were family. When SSA Morgan had retired she’d taken it hard, even though she delighted in serving as godmother to his son. She struggled with change, and although she was outgoing and incredibly friendly, she was scared to open herself up to a new team member, particularly a male one she was attracted to. She couldn’t lie worth a damn, which delighted him. She was quick to jump to conclusions, especially about him and what he might want. She was generous and warm, and showed her love through affection and gifts- Roxy had a plethora of toys and a collection of various collars, leashes, and the one sweater to show for it. She surrounded herself with trinkets and ridiculous, whimsical items because it helped her cope with the horrifying images she had to see in the course of their work. She loved color, and she wore her heart on her sleeve and her personality in her wardrobe. And as he had learned today, she was a hell of a fighter. He’d probably never met a woman who combined such tender care for those she loved with such strength.

Penelope had enjoyed talking to Will and JJ about Henry and Michael’s latest escapades. She and Emily had giggled as Will had recounted the story of the boys surprising them with “breakfast in bed” that not only interrupted some early morning sexy time but consisted of an odd assortment of foods that included eggs scrambled with leftover bbq chicken since they couldn’t find any bacon or sausage! She moved across the room to join Rossi where he was sifting through her CD collection, apparently looking for something specific. She smiled as he told her that he still loved Sinatra and Patsy Cline but he’d developed a recent fondness for Adele’s ballads. He didn’t care as much for her more upbeat stuff, but he had a hankering to hear “Someone Like You” or “Hello” after a few scotches.

Luke was pulled into conversation with Will and JJ, just as the topic of how they’d met on a case and started dating in secret came up. Listening to Will recall how determined he’d been to convince JJ that their romance was worth the work and the risk, and how he’d do it all over again, Luke came to a decision. He glanced over at where Rossi had pulled Penelope into his arms and was laughingly swaying with her to the Adele song playing over the speakers. Penelope laughed, spinning gracefully as her friend spun her around. The impromptu dance was over before it had truly started, but it had been enough to make up his mind. “Oh Chica, before tonight is over I will be the one holding you close and swaying with you to the beat. It will be me you laugh up at. And before the end of the night, I will have an answer to whether or not you want me too,” he promised himself. 

Luke began to formulate a plan. He knew where he was hoping to lead them, but he knew he needed to pick the route carefully. He wanted her in his arms, her eyes ablaze with passion- not fury. Proceeding with caution was advisable so he didn’t offend her. He also didn’t want the rest of the team to have any part in this revelation, so he needed to play his cards strategically. He’d have to communicate very clearly to her that he wasn’t teasing, wasn’t leading her on, and that he had no intention of merely indulging in a night’s diversion. “She needs to understand that I’m not some player who wants a night’s entertainment. And I’m nothing like SSA Morgan. I’m not here to flirt and then leave one day to start a relationship elsewhere, never having acted on the chemistry between us. She needs to know that I want to be her man,” he thought, mulling over his next moves carefully. 

Luke planned his move carefully. All he could do was ensure he’d get the chance to lay his cards on the table. He didn’t know where it would lead. He could only hope that she would truly listen to him and let her guard down a little. “If she’d just let me, I could make her so happy” he mused wistfully as the song ended and Rossi let her go with a kiss to her hand. 

Penelope laughed breathlessly as Dave spun her a final time. Rossi might have more than 20 years on her, but the man had moves. No wonder the team referred to him as the Italian Stallion! She giggled as he kissed her hand. “If only I could find a man my own age that understood the value of a little old-fashioned chivalry,” she remarked to Rossi, thanking him for the dance. Both were left laughing as Reid launched into one of his customary ramblings about the historical originations of most chivalric customs.

The hours flew by, but suddenly it was nearly 1 am and everyone started to say their goodbyes. It had been a long week, and they weren’t young bucks anymore. JJ and Will were the first to declare the night over. They had a babysitter who would be waiting up on them. Being that they were giving Em a lift home, she also made the rounds wishing everyone goodnight and farewell until Monday morning. Not long afterwards, Luke woke Roxy up and made his exit. As he said, he’d have needed to walk Roxy downstairs to relieve herself soon anyway, might as well make his exit. Not much after that, Rossi offered to help clean up the kitchen. Garcia waved him off- she had no intention of allowing them to worry about trivial things like dishes and she told him just that. Such petty mortal concerns were not for a goddess such as she, at least not until tomorrow. At her insistence that they not worry about cleaning up, Rossi announced he better be going as he had an early morning tee time at the golf course. Being that Reid was driving the jovial, slightly buzzed Italian Stallion home, Penelope walked them both to the door.

Closing the door behind the last of her dear, sweet friends, Penelope sighed. She smiled, slipping off her sky-high heels and even shimmying out of the fishnet tights. What was she thinking, wearing heels all night when she’d already spent all day in the damn torture devices? Crossing the room in her bare feet, she began to fetch plates and cups from the mantle, the side tables and the coffee table. She hadn’t lied precisely- she would indeed wait to wash them until the morning. But she thought it best not to leave them out, that way Sergio doesn’t break any. She finished stacking all the items in the sink, and packaged up most of the leftovers. She put the food into the fridge, and smiled happily as she poured herself the last half glass of her favorite Riesling. Just before she sank down to the couch, she heard a knock on the door. “Who could that be? Oh, I hope it isn’t Mr. Anderson from down the hall, complaining about the noise,” she thought as she made her way to answer it.

[nuzblog]

November 21st, 2017

This is the second of two new entries, which were at one point slated to be one entry. I’m glad they weren’t, since both of them got long as hell. I blame the fact that I’m also chipping my way through a 7 hour video essay on Pokemon for my long windedness. If you don’t remember the one where I caught a Drowzee, I recommend scrolling down. Now’s also a good time to remind you that it’s possible to read the entire thing chronologically, by clicking... well, any word in this sentence, how about. Also the Pokedex in the sidebar.

Now seems as good a time as any to mention what I forgot to in my admitted rush to finish the prior entry - while grinding up Baku, I was also hanging out with friends, and finally actually did the damn thing: Moschops was traded for a Kakuna, and then traded back, evolving it to its final form. This is the second time in my lifetime of playing Pokemon that I've actually used the evolved form of a trade evolution, and the first is my Alolan Golem in Sun which I am still not actually finished with yet, largely due to this playthrough superceding it as a priority in my mind, and also because, maybe it's just me but that game's pacing really falls off by the time you're on Poni Island. Not that it was really well paced to begin with, but-- oh, bugger, I'll save this all for when I nuzlocke that game. Uh. If I get there. Maybe I'll be so put off by how much I hate 2nd Gen that I'll simply not get to 3rd. (That's probably not true, I love 3rd Gen so much, I'll slog through garbage to get to it.)

Anyway yeah, I have rad friends and I love them very much and so I have a Machamp now. Weird! I've used Machoke before, but never actually Machamp.

Blaine's gym is the next one, and I actualy have notes on it beyond "the gym trainers were easy." As the series progresses, gyms will become more elaborate - here, they're just. Walk in a straight line, walk in a straight line and then turn left, rifle through some garbage, cut some trees, follow an "invisible" path, just choose a teleport tile and pray, and the two I'm about to knock out back to back.

Blaine's gym is really weird. I definitely understand what they were going for, but it turned out super strange. So Blaine is like, this researcher professor guy, like not quite Pokemon Professor but he knows his shit and wears a lab coat sometimes and the works. So his gym is a quiz. There's these quiz machines that ask you a question that varies from bafflingly simple, such as "does Caterpie evolve into Butterfree", to just plain baffling, either due to strange wording or ambiguous wording. Like... on the one hand they are clearly meant to test your knowledge that you've gained as you adventured, since you're essentially at endgame territory here. But Blaine isn't the kind of professor that seems to legitimately want to test your knowledge, oh no, his questions seem purposely worded to confuse. For example, the first one, "Caterpie evolves into Butterfree?" On the one hand, yes, one of Caterpie's evolutions is Butterfree... but at the same time, Caterpie DOESN'T evolve into Butterfree. Caterpie evolves into Metapod, and Metapod evolves into Butterfree. The correct answer is yes, but it's not technically accurate. Another question asks if Poliwag evolves thrice, which is false, it evolves twice, but it's easy to count each form - Poliwag, Poliwhirl and Poliwrath - and assume that that matches up with the "3" in the question. Also, in what I can only assume to be translation error, one question manages to not only refer to the Electric type as "Thunder", but also refers to types as "element-types". Super weird.

Anyway, I did all the trivia and also fought all the trainers. Used to Firered, I find the lack of unique overworld sprites for the gym leaders interesting. I didn't even realize it was Blaine I was next to until I saw that there was no quiz machine behind him. Of course, with my Nessie and Cingu, the gym is no issue at all. I brink Moschops in too for his rock move, and Wakinyan just in case things got hairy, which they did not - I beat him handily.

Speaking of being beaten handily, the final gym has this mystery behind it, but I appreciate that before you are face to face with his widow's peaked mug, you have every opportunity to guess that the final gym leader is Giovanni of Team Rocket. The "Champ in the making!" dude tells you he uses ground types - and Giovanni, excepting his Kangaskhan, uses Nidoqueens and Rhyhorns and such consistently. That, and the puzzle here is the same pushing tiles that were used in the Rocket Hideout - I guess he likes those things? I know we encounter them in the hideout before the gym, but I like to think that it's the other way around. We don't get as much backstory on Giovanni as I'd like, but I like to imagine that he was a perfectly legitimate gym leader before starting Team Rocket, and he used the puzzle tiles the Pokemon League provided for him in his top secret casino hideout just cause they were the same kind of puzzle he liked enough to put in his gym.

As for fighting him... it's a joke. I was a little nervous going in about his powerful last 'mon and its Fissure, but... it's got 30% accuracy and I outspeed it anyway. Giovanni is defeated, this time for the last time. In this game - and this was removed in the remakes since it is counter to his characterization in his later appearances - if you speak to him after beating him, he says he is giving up on crime for good in order to research Pokemon. I think that's compelling and, again, hints at something a little more earnest in his past and in his motivations. Allow me to extrapolate for a moment here: Team Rocket's goals, in the anime and in the games, are consistent: find and capture rare Pokemon by any means necessary. In this game, they are first found in Mt. Moon, where rare Pokemon fossils can be found that can be resurrected at Cinnabar Island; then, the Silph Scope is recovered from them in Celadon, which is used primarily to be able to observe Ghost Pokemon in the Pokemon Tower, where they can also be found holding one of the region's well known Pokemon caretakers hostage. After that, they are in Silph Co., a powerful organization that has manufactured the Master Ball, which can be used to catch any Pokemon with perfect success. While the grunts may be using common Pokemon like Zubat and Rattata, the big boss has typically got Rhyhorn, Kangaskhan, and Nidoqueen, all Pokemon that are either only or most commonly accessible by way of the Safari Zone, where rarer Pokemon are sequestered for preservation.

What if Giovanni's real purpose is to study these rare Pokemon? Not money, nor pride, but simply the pursuit of knowledge? Taken to extremes, sure, but perhaps from his perspective, the real crime is holding these creatures away from researchers (which, as seen in Silph Co., Team Rocket also employs) that can learn more about them. Bam. There's my wild theory of the week.

Anyway yeah I went in without Wakinyan and just wrecked up his face. Hard not to, with Lapras and Penthes and Moschops and Baku. Cingu didn't do much, nor did he need to.

Speaking of Cingu, I then taught him Fissure. Now, normally, I would pretty much ignore OHKO moves. I mean, it'd be fun to give it to Moschops, but since all transferred Pokemon have their hidden abilities, it still would not be a Fissure/No Guard Machamp, so there's no point to that - instead, I gave it to the faster Cingu, after a bit of research. You see, I did not realize until around 24 hours prior to the time of this writing when I has beaten Giovanni's gym that the X Accuracy was changed in Gen 3. In Gen 3 onwards, which are the only generations I've played extensively, the X Accuracy is a very situationally useful item in a set of items that are essentially like Hardens, Howls, and Focus Energys that you can pay for. Those same moves aren't really that useful either, since far better moves like Swords Dance and Agility are just plain better versions of them. X Accuracy is probably the best of the set since it actually increases your own accuracy by a stage, allowing the effects of moves like the obnoxious Sand Attack or Minimize to be negated or at least mitigated... but since the overwhelming majority of attacks hit 100% of the time, and if you've been sand attacked then using the X Accuracy only gives them another chance to fling sand in your face, the usefulness is not exactly on the level of say, Potions and Pokeballs.

Except, things are a little different in Gen 1. You see, when an X Accuracy is used on a Pokemon in battle in Gen 1, it makes all of its moves hit perfectly every time until it is switched out or fainted. All of them, bypassing accuracy checks a la Swift, which I believe means it isn't even able to fall prey to the dreaded 1/256 glitch, which makes 100% accuracy moves miss one out of every 256 times. Including one hit KO moves like Fissure. (As a side note, this may also be handy with Thunder, which has only 70% accuracy - if it becomes a perfect hit then I'm far more confident of Wakinyan's ability to sweep Lorelei, at the least.)

Which, obviously, is ridiculous. Of course, Fissure only has 5 PP... but I've also not used a single one of the limited Ethers, Elixirs, etc. that the game provides. And with the exception of Dingus, every member of the Elite 4 has 5 Pokemon. (Of course, almost all of them also have a Flying type, and I'm sure SOME of them will outspeed Cingu, which should make Fissure fail regardless.) So like... basically, it's completely busted but fuck me if I'm not gonna take advantage of it. I'm already taking advantage of how busted Slash is. Honestly I'm gonna be sad to push Cingu through the Bank, since it's gonna go from utterly disgustingly broken to like... a normal Pokemon, basically.

Anyway then I slept, woke up, and played more Pokemon.

Now, at this point, I could go to Victory Road. But. Some unfinished business first! The Seafoam Islands are a fairly simple dungeon, with a Strength boulder dropping puzzle that's fairly memorable. Also there's a bird at the end. I murdered this bird, since I couldn't catch it. It actually brought Moschops to fairly low health. Serves me right for trying to use my 4x effective move that just happens to be on my "weak to flying" Pokemon.

NOW I'm ready for Victory Road, except for the fact that I absolutely forgot that there was a rival fight on Route 22 as you're headed for the Pokemon League. I was all healed up anyway, and I don't need to box anyone since he's got 6 Pokemon by now (but apparently no Fire Stones, lol - really, still Growlithe?), but I was still caught off guard, which I'm sure is the point.

Moschops handles Pidgeot and Rhyhorn, which hurts bad enough to switch him for Wakinyan, who, not gonna lie, is basically literally only here to OHKO this Gyarados. Nessie beats Growlithe but Alakazam puts it to 40 health, the lowest any of my Pokemon has been in a long while. Baku has the psychic resistance, so he finishes off Alakazam and then hits Venusaur for super effective damage, but I switch back to Wakinyan to finish him off.

I heal at home and NOW I'm actually going towards Victory Road.

First though, I run around in the grass on Route 23 for a wee bit before realizing that the only Pokemon I can find there are Sandslash/shrew, Sp/Fearow, or Ditto, all of which I still have living. I then think to fish, but I don't have my rod with me. Ah well, can't be arsed.

Victory Road! It's a road made of victory!! Let's see what EXCITING NEW POKEMON await us in this, our final dungeon of the-- oh. Zubat. It's a Zubat. I just caught another Zubat. ts name is Desmod, but it might as well be... Box 1. Cause that's where it'll be living. (Actually Box 2 though, I think.)

The dungeon here isn't actually that tough. The encounter rate is high enough that I got annoyed and put up some repels, but all that'll do is make grinding go a bit faster because you KNOW I'm not gonna fight the Elite 4 until everyone's AT LEAST Level 50. The trainers in here, to their credit, are reasonably tough. One Tamer in particular hurt me pretty bad with his sequence of Psychic types. I tried not to leave too often, since, at the very least, doing so would reset puzzle progress and drain max repels, but I did after this dude. Dig still takes me near Rock Tunnel. I literally haven't healed anywhere other than home since Rock Tunnel, lol. That'll change soon, I bet.

While here, I battled Moltres, the last of three legendary birds. As promised, I'll now discuss my thoughts on legendaries, because I quite frankly think that they're ruddy genius... in this game, and less so increasingly as the series progresses.

In this game, there are 4 legendary Pokemon - the three legendary birds and Mewtwo. Mew is a mythical and I'll talk about those another time, but legendaries are a distinct thing. In this game, despite all being birds except for the edgy one for whatever dumb reason, they are absolutely fantastically executed. Pokemon is a game that revels in boss fights - most routes have the strongest trainer strategically positioned last in a route, sometimes actively obstructing progress. Your rival shows up to fight you a total of eight times counting his final fight, which comes as a surprise at the end of the long foreshadowed gauntlet of four big bosses fought one after another with no Pokemon Centers inbetween, Team Rocket's leader fights you twice before being the last of eight town-based bosses themed around the elements, and that's not even counting optional bosses like the Karate King. However, all of these fights have something in common - they're all trainer fights.

While the distinction between trainer battles and wild Pokemon battles is not one that DRASTICALLY effects gameplay, it is one that exists. While the core principles are the same, two integral things about wild battles that are core to how they are approached are simply not options in trainer battles: running, and throwing Poke Balls. You can't steal people's Pokemon, but you can catch wild ones, and on occasion that capture is harder than most battles.

As such, legendary Pokemon are essentially the "wild Pokemon" answer to gym leaders. While gym leaders are a tough fight against a smart(ish) trainer with strong Pokemon, a legendary Pokemon is strong and, more importantly, very very hard to capture. I want to be clear, defeating these legendaries is not the hard part. I didn't actually do these bosses as they are intended to be fought, since I killed Moltres and Articuno and I used my Master Ball on Zapdos. But, had I gone the traditional route, I could have been spending 30+ Ultra Balls on EACH of them, and having to be so careful not to kill it or let it kill itself, or to let it kill any of my Pokemon. And this is a serious challenge! And THIS is what legendary Pokemon are for. They are out of the way, optional, very challenging, but rewarding intrinsically, because if you DO do the hard thing and catch them, then you have a powerful Pokemon you can use now. This is in opposition to the extrinsic reward of defeating a gym leader for a badge that allows you to train traded Pokemon to a higher level, to use HMs out of battle, to slightly increase stat growth, or whatever else. Getting handed something for winning a fight is great and makes sense... but with the legendaries, the fight is getting the damn things to stay in a ball, and the reward is the same as the reward for throwing a Poke Ball at a Rattata on Route 1: now you HAVE IT.

Of course... nothing stays good forever. In Gen 2, they introduce roaming legendaries. This is a different type of boss fight that takes place over the course of several fights, and is generally agreed to be way more of an obnoxious pain in the ass without actually being that innovative or fun. Instead of doing a cool dungeon that's hidden away and then fighting through your increasing worry to press onwards rather than resetting... an event flag happens in the story, and then you get to run aroung and do chip damage to a big cat or dog or something.

In Gen 3, for the first time, legendary Pokemon, rather than being hidden and out of the way, are thrust firmly in your face. This is the beginning of a change but, at least it's still a big lump of pain to actually capture Kyogre, Groudon or Rayquaza. While this gen also starts the trend of having more legendaries than it knows what to do with, it also makes up for it by having the most esoteric, "Mew is under the truck" type garbage puzzles in the whole series to get the golem-based Regis.

After this, things go bad quick. Starting in Gen 5 and continuing onwards, even being awkwardly shoehorned into the remakes of Gen 3, legendaries go from something you can seek out if you fancy a challenge or are a collector or want the power that comes with them... to being something that's literally handed to you on a silver platter, and that the game will not progress unless you acquire. This is bad and sucks. We'll get to it later.

Speaking of getting to things later. Next time, I guess... will be the Elite Four. After that, assuming I succeed, I'm gonna do some wrap up stuff. I do want to make some posts on here that aren't simply entries, talking about my overall opinion of Gen 1, my experience with nuzlocking it, and also discussing my opinions on some of the Pokemon found therein, which I will generally try to keep positive, since every Pokemon is someone's favorite and it's better to praise something that someone else might not have thought twice about than it is to criticize something that someone else might love. I may give a passing mention to which Pokemon appeal to me the least, but I would say that there are no Pokemon that I think are completely awful or unworthy of Being A Pokemon. (Also that gap will give me the time to finish Sun and buy an Ultra game which, given that MOST people I know who bought Moon were boring and then also bought Ultra Moon rather than buying Ultra Sun which I would think to make sense, will probably be Ultra Sun cause like, then I can trade my Blacephalon for their Stakataka or whatevs.) And then after that... Gen 2.

So, yeah. This has been an experiment so far and I'm really happy with how it has turned out. I look forward, not just to playing but also to writing each installment, and ideally, you look forward to reading them, even if they are uploaded at really weird times.

I'm gonna update the sidebar when I wake up in the... afternoon. Working overnights weirds time.

[jewelwriter]

My Two Cents:  Why yez, Gen 7 is the worst of them all.

Disclaimer: "My Two Coins" are to be read as such, someone's two coins about the topic at hand. IF at any point you disagree with it or agree, remember they are just my coins about said topic and the value you have of it will differ from my own because of religion, upbringing, beliefs, and logic based on your own experiences. Do not assume my coins are the international equivalent for it may be considered of a lesser value in the bank of public exchange. Thank you.

Pinks,  You asked for it.  YOU KNEW how stupid your commentary to defend Gen 7 is and yet you did it and I gotta rip you some new ones.  I’ll even go...

Yea.  I’m going this far TO KICK YOUR ARGUMENT and banish it in all it stands for to the Shadow Realm!  Though first things first.

Welcome ladies and gentlemen. You've found a wild Jewelwriter.

And here’s the reason why I’m going at it and I’ll be commenting on it non stop so if you value your gen 7 souls then escape and don’t look back.

Oh boy...  You seriously were that worried that it is a not belonging in the place where it belongs and is going to be ripped by me where I wouldn't hold back.  Trust me... I know your brain is deep in Gen 7's cave of wonders but it's time to get your head out of there and get with bleeping reality.  Trust me I'm tempted to use memes to say you are so wrong that it hurts.  And I'll get even the pictures that you point out so I'll be thoroughly ripping this up with a sword and not a chainsaw.

OH, it is... I mean seriously do I got to list them... but if I gotta say it there's going to be a gen 7 of that bleeping picture and your call of calling hypocrisy so allow me to poke of each point you pull up.

-If not counting all the added Pokemon the difference is 7 more for everyone thinks Ultra added more.  This wasn't a bugger to me since I expected a low number and its clear people aren't getting it.

-Exp isn't too bad and I was keeping it on since it was meant to be on and I still felt the challenge was more with two of the 3 starters and everyone's frog was the easy mode for people when I felt the "Charizard" of the generation is Chespin and Fennekin gets it easier at least as well be the next second since through the playthrough of X and Y, gym one has bugs with one a bug water, followed by rocks, then fighting types (Fennekin's evolution gets psychic moves to soften this) then grass types (Unless you got a poison move, Fennekin gets this faster) and then we get to electric which isn't good for both and then fairies (with fully evolved Pokes now, Chespin's line is in trouble sans poison.) then Psychic and then ice (Poor Chesnaught times two more) And Chespin and Fennekin's line doesn't get love at all in the Elite 4 either.

-Story is not bad but it's true that story wasn't good but it wasn't going for hyper twists, it was more on the nose and wasn't ashamed of it.  Pluse there was more expressions in that than both su and moon games.

-This is true that I can't fight it but I'll say that I saw them as a copy of team rocket if Giovanni decided to return just in time for a new kid to smack them stupid and if Giovani had a death cannon.

-Only the true rival of sorts being your opposite without the hat and the others...mixed.

-Skip since this is true for all Pokemon but it doesn't last longer than both Sun and moon and Ultras.

-Customization was first introduced so it would be limited.

-Fairy Pokemon is the first big shake up and I like it.

-Depends on your mega.  OH, gods.... it ranges from ...Garchomp to Mega Rayquaza (who was introduced in ORAS) though I will say this....this should have been the end of Smogon's reign.  I still want it gone!

-Postgame was in Lumiose, and it was short and otherwise, it was the battle house. (Delta episode in ORAS)

-This I don't mind... And here's the funny thing...you never could get out of that Linear road in a sense unless you are thinking gen 1 at when you take on Saffron City and gen 4 which allowed you to break that norm when crossing Mt Coronet.

-This I can get on ORAS on for teasing that and it not showing up since post battle content really shrunk in gen 6 but it's worst in gen 7 so it's not getting off that hook.

I was willing to buy X and Omega Ruby (and gained Alpha Sapphire as a gift which I thanked.) which was a good thing overall.

And now...let's see how right you represented how it is the worst....which you tried to hide.

-This is wrong... the number where it stopped before getting the special Pokemon is 78.  And I'm not counting Alolan forms.

-The Island Trials don't feel as rewarding since you only get emergen-z gemstones and nothing really marking progress.

-This is a sad truth that hurts making it fun.  Super Training allows one to EV how you want without battling and having to plot how to grow your Pokemon there.  Triple Battles I can say I'll not miss as much as Rotations since Rotations is battle intelligence pushed into one great format that you don't have to worry about Rocks and other entry hazards in a sense.  Just tactical play!  Contests came back and were lost is a sad thing since there could have been more potential if done right.  And HMs I see is sad because they were a better gate block than what those silly borders and the HM rides are which were so underused it's ridiculous.

-SOS battles are the only way to get high IV Pokemon from the wild and yet they were able to annoy to no end since it means you might get a Pokemon Interrupting your catches and will burn more resources.  They kind of fixed it with the Ultras but still exists the moment you trigger SOS.  Hypertraining is an IV copout while breeding your best mon isn't loved anymore.  Festival Plaza....oh gods that is a mess more of a mess than what happened at Gen 4's first steps into Wifi.  And the Ultra Beasts...I can't tell if they are legendary or out there Pokemon that are in the wrong series.

-This is entirely correct with how many Pokemon of Gen 1 got not only representation but given special forms....and guess what...no extra Alolan forms!

-If you picked Primarina's line you were on easy street, even on Ultra when taking on Necrozma after dealing with the BS handicap of the Pokemon getting boosted artificially to make difficulty.  Rowlett is able to take on only the first Kahuna, the new Kahuna of Poni island and for a while Team Skull/Aether President...Keep in mind of who has poison type but otherwise...You'd be recked with the owl... and Litten..let's see Bubble beam with the Kakuna of MElemele, Rocks with Akala's Kahuna, Team Skull's Bugs when you go john Incenaroar on top of the water type and bugs while on Ula Ula, And Poni island's new Kahuna if you can endure the dragon of the north star.

-I mentioned it earlier....tutorials are needed but this did it so wrong and had nearly all of island 1 be this.  You get pushed to a school of it, you get forced into battle with the false rival, and you get guided by the Nosepass by Rotom.

-Returning to Hau... he's the 'Bianca' rival which I didn't mind but knew people would uproar but I guessed it wouldn't show up at all.  I was wrong.  It was the Professor who is the true rival (as in get the starter strong to yours and would be the real challenge) and they pull that off with the best First championship battle of Alola in Sun and Moon.

-Skip since I already covered this in gen 6 but it's worst since it is to nearly all of island 1.

-This was less forgiving as we got such fewer options than before as far as attire.  Least you can lose the hat.

-the Emergen-z moves are in fact worthless.  As I stated in a bit of a comparing document.  Z-Moves are Hyper Combos that can be 'blocked', countered, or even snuffed out before you pull them off. ��Mega Evolution is a boss character with upped stats that can be harder to take down in battle and would be on the field still until you KO the Pokemon.

-This has less postgame than what X&Y had and this is when counting the Looker missions vs the UB hunt for the startups and the Delta Episode vs RR Episode is at least a stronger fight to one side....and while I give Zennia the lore and potential aspects, the RR gets you all villains of the past trying to get the world with grandpa Giovani at the top who should have RETIRED by now but nope...

-(sarcasm) It's so linear here that you got a Pokedex pointing the way to where to go.  Great job Programmers. (sarcasm ends here.)

I at least hold my ground when it comes to this kind of argument.

For the picture comparing B2W2 to USUM...

[]

Pleasantly surprised [Vs] worried and sickened.

Didn't come to mind [Vs] Why would the series leave the 3DS?  Which I say is a stupid idea still!

I had a good surprise on this and took it [Vs] WAIT will you...the fact you can still play them is proof you can wait.

This was a great surprise and showed they cared [Vs] Super rushed game that barely got out before 1 year of the game's release...which most of the other mainline Pokemon games weren't released in under a year.

New story and set in a truly different timeline [Vs] it barely changed and any changes were mostly seen near the end and were cheap shots.

This would be entirely wrong Vs IT is highly true!

That's because nothing really did change sans Ultra Recon Squad as far as plot goes and the killing of an already weakened char when USUM came up.

On sales, this would be one thing on its own and yet I was able to smell bs and not buy them (somehow I still got them because someone didn't get the note I DIDN'T WANT THEM!) and it's good I rate games based on what is within them...not the sales and that.

So sorry, it still belongs to gen 7!  And there's a diff between good changes and BAD changes.  You kept ignoring all the bad changes while also trying to make it look like the other generations did it worst.... sorry but This is utter BS to the nth degree.

I haven't claimed that 8 will be worst but I have a worry about what will be in it if certain games sell well.

Also Funny you use someone that you hate for someone to be the big comment here.  I can't help but laugh it up.  (I got stories of this but that's a need to know a thing)

[-|-|-]

So excuse ME for killing all your hopes and dreams but they are really nightmares and falsehoods that you have tried to hide behind all this time.  TIME to come into the light and maybe wear this while you're at it.

As for me... this wild one runs away!