#'no that doesn't apply to me' and 'should i include this' and 'how should i phrase this'
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hello apple. the common folk ask for your fervent musings on Naomi Misora!!
:3c oh goodness, naomi thoughts huh… let's make a list for this one:
i will forever Love the LABB murder novel for expanding naomi's characterization and backstory, it is forever So tragic that she died so quickly in the series. her back and forth with both L and beyond is fantastic in that book, and the additional lore set up about all those characters really adds to the canon of the series in an interesting way.
i knowwwww people (justifiably) hate on raye for all the "You'll be happy when you don't have to be an intelligent woman and can just be a Mother :)" bullshit, but naomi as a kind of mother figure is genuinely a notable aspect of her characterization and i kinda wanna Talk about it. particularly in conjunction with that one image of her in the anime opening where she is the stand in for mary holding jesus like in the pietà and also the fact that LABB murder canon sets up the idea that she dropped out of the FBI due to her inability to shoot a child (?? should double-check this but i'm near Certain). she often comes across as quite harsh, and for good reason since she's quite Brusque with the people we see her interacting with the most (light, beyond, L, even raye to some degree), but there's an intriguing Softness to her also that is a big part of what makes her an interesting character to me. it's the Contrast of it all, y'know.
(and yes, some of this may be included purely bc ohba is a sexist writer and doesn't know how to see women as anything other than "fuck object" or "mommy." even with that in mind, i still think this is a point genuinely worth consideration... though i'm not gonna forget that either askldfjsldkf)
naomi and matsuda both are kinda weird actually in that i always Struggle to really place their ages. they both just come across as so Young, despite the fact that they're older than even L by a couple years. i suppose both of them are also often quite underestimated by the people around them, which perhaps contributes to them coming across so green.
speaking of... it seems like quite notable, if somewhat under-utilized lore that naomi was a japanese woman working in the american FBI. again, LABB murders goes into this a Bit, what with naomi struggling to connect with her (presumably largely white, male) coworkers. the fact that her true first name is written entirely in katakana (usually used for foreign words/names) too... i'm assuming she's a first generation immigrant, since they're visiting her parents in japan? but it does give her that pulled-between-cultures kinda feel. i find it quite relatable, actually, as an asian american myself.
there might be an interesting connection there too with regards to how that might influence the ways in which her and raye's relationship functions. i suppose we can't really assume raye's background or race in too extensive detail, particularly since he is presumably speaking fluent japanese throughout the series (???), but i also can't help but see how the "american man with a non-japanese name in a relationship with a japanese woman" might be of note in terms of the particular kinds of sexist assumptions/views he exerts onto her (or even that she applies to herself...)
i've said this before, but i think it's a combination of both that and her more Maternal tendencies that gets her so on board with both L and light, two characters who are both decently younger than her and Take Her Seriously. the fact that she explicitly states seeing L in light, and that she is one of the few characters, really the only person outside of the japanese task force, to actually meet L in person is also. fascinating.
speaking more on the FBI though, i can't help but wonder about what naomi's motivations were for joining the FBI in the first place. or even what her motivations were for leaving japan at all, if she really was the first in her family to immigrate. clearly the american dream did Not live entirely up to expectations, from what we can see of how hard she was putting all her stock into this marriage with raye... but i also desperately wonder what she was Going Through post-beyond incarceration/L-meeting and pre-KIRA. that seems like a particularly juicy time period fanfic-wise, especially considering how beyond himself dies... sigh. onto the wip list.
actually. considering both birthday massacre and raye, it's kinda fucking funny to consider the fact that light killed both of naomi's main love interests. even L, if you go for that. not to mention naomi herself. RIP girl, she must've been frothing at the fucking mouth in that grave putting all the pieces together. first person to kick light's ass in the nothingness afterlife fr.
anyways, in conclusion: naomi fucks hard, best girl, desperately underrated character in the series that i will love forever. there's probably more that i could add to this but my brain is all blissed out on thanksgiving food so ig that's it for now. hell yeah naomi👍
#death note#astronaut rambles#naomi misora#ask#ehhehehe thank you for the ask anon!!#been kinda Dead lately due to finals (and fic writing tbh screams) so asks like this are greatly appreciated#gets me writing n thinking about Lore again which i always adore yaaayy#:))
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It's word vomit time because I can't help myself when it comes to this franchise and particularly when it comes to Solas. Even some old blogs that I really enjoyed the analysis from I had to unfollow because it seems that all that's being taken from the game is "Solas did everything bad in history ever but actually it was also Mythal" and going wildly between completely absolving Solas of all responsibility because "Mythal made him" or "Solas is actually the root of everything wrong in the world". That they're just two dimensional cartoon villains.
Which???? That's not what Veilguard was showing us!!
Much longer rambling under the cut but the tl;dr is Veilguard showed us the build up and exposed just how high the stakes are and just how deep Solas's regrets are as he tries to wade through the mess he was born into. We got just crumbs in Inquisition/Trespasser and Veilguard just handed us the whole loaf. Looking at this as them saying he's just an uber villain is y'all eating the crust and being pissed about how crusty it is. Dig down to the fluffy center!!! He says time and time again that he's not a god, he's just a man that made mistakes. He's a man burdened by war and when all you have are horrible choices he tried to pick the least bad of them. It just added layers and reaffirmed that in war, there are no good choices. There's survival. You can't apply black and white morals to war; it's messy as fuck and there's no good choices. Veilguard exposed the motivations of a broken man drowning in guilt and showed us how he got there. It pulled back the layers like an onion and exposed the heart in glaring light; it added so much nuance and so many layers to Solas and his motivations and actions.
The cut hides me just rambling and breaking this down further, be aware it's a wall.
First off; the first elves were spirits. We've learned time and time again that spirits don't think the same as humans. Especially when speaking to Emmrich about Manfred and his rambling included teaching Manfred morals. Human morals. You can't really apply human morals to ancient immortal creatures that decided to fashion bodies for themselves cause they thought it looked fun and was new and novel. They probably didn't think ahead to the future where the creatures they struck down might be upset. They don't care; it's a rock to them. Why should they care? They're spirits mucking about in this new world and having a ball. They didn't stop to think about the consequences of it.
Which brings me to the second thing we got reaffirmed; THERE WAS WAR. Even now we live in war times. War is fucking scary. War changes people. We have so much media from survivors trying to express how terrifying war is and share that with people that haven't been through it. (LOTR I'm looking very pointedly at you and waving you around.) The first war was the Titans striking back at the Elvhen for what they had done. (Very justified.) This is when Mythal pleads with Solas to give up his very much loved form and Fade to help her. As they were originally spirits and are effectively immortal, they would have probably a.) felt emotions far more deeply and richly (if more narrowly/with less range) than modern mortals and b.) their morals are probably very different considering they're new to physical bodies and their own growing complexity instead of remaining as more simple spirits and c.) it's clear he feels at least some sort of trust and devotion to Mythal in a fashion we can't really grasp. (The writers confirm that a romanced Lavellan is the first time he's fallen in love so we know that's not what he has for Mythal. But devotion and service? Those are still powerful.) Anyway, that war is wrapped up decisively in one fell stroke thanks to Mythal again making use of Solas's wisdom to craft the dagger that would sunder the Titans. (Even though she, herself, apparently doesn't even do the final blow she again has Solas do it with the weapon he crafted. In the art book, it shows him trapping their dreams in a small black cube and he himself bringing that prison cube back. This is probably why he becomes known as her lapdog/attack dog.) War over, their people are safe. Oooooo elves are just so evil. Except. What were the alternatives? Continue hunting and killing the Titans until they're all truly dead? Would the dwarves have survived this or would they have died with their creators? How would this affect the physical world if the "pillars" are struck down wholesale? The elves can't just fuck off back to the Fade anymore, they have physical bodies crafted from this world now. They're no longer spirits. Do they all just roll over and die? It's in your nature to survive no matter what and this fundamental truth means there would be no peace between the elves and titans, even if the elves stopped their colonizing bullshit. Instead, they were sundered from the fade and left in comas alive. The dwarves were sundered from the titans and each other, but they also lived on. It was a terrible choice when all there were were terrible choices. There were no good choices. The elves sacrificed the titans for their own peace and their war with their world ended.
The second war was the newly named Evanuris against the Forgotten Ones for not helping the Elvhen in the war with the Titans. This is when the elves would have been fearful and already fallen in behind the strongest of them in want of protection. The fight of "those that protected us" vs "those that abandoned us". It just set the stage for more intensely divided elves, more intensely dependent elves. The Evanuris were powerful enough to protect them and end the war with the Titans, they would be powerful enough to protect them and end the war with the Forgotten Ones. (In Bellara's quest, we learn that at least one of them crafted an army of demons to fight for him.) We also learn through Solas's memories that the Evanuris aren't above propaganda and lies; they slaughtered their own people and claimed the Dread Wolf did all of it. This was a war of vengeance, plain and simple, prettied up as good gods vs evil gods. Even the later legends paints it as the good Creator gods vs the evil Forgotten Ones.
After that, the war focus shifts to Fen'harel and his "rebellion". The game shows us that after their war with the Forgotten Ones, Elgar'nan decides they deserve to be gods. Why not? They're already incredibly powerful and rule as kings/queens. Why not be gods? Their people already serve them in body, lets just amp that up to in spirit and in mind. They're marked in blood writing to show who owns them. Just take their minds and have their total obedience, love, and devotion. It's what they deserve after all being so powerful and cool! (Sarcasm in case you miss it.)
Solas pushed back at every opportunity. He started with letters and moved on to freeing their slaves and moving against them period. He was making such progress against them they got desperate and delved into the Titan's prison, using it as power. "They were blind to the horrors." They didn't realize how horrible this new power was because they were already corrupted. He begged Mythal to stop them and they instead murdered her with her own dagger/the weapon Solas crafted for her. To save the living world, he had to imprison them and the Blight away. The Veil locking away all of the Fade was a mistake on his part; considering the power of the magic he was casting, kinda understandable.
We can see, through his own memories, how he changes through this time. Where he begins to make more and more "acceptable sacrifices". Where he cuts problems off entirely instead of taking the time and risk to try and save people. The greater good is what drives him and he can't risk getting caught up in the small details. Like individual lives compared to all the lives they're working to save. Like the trolley problem but more extreme; does he let this person die, or does he let them carry their infection out to kill untold people? Does he ask these spirits to die doing what they love making the distraction or does he have their very limited bodied forces serve as the diversion and die instead?
The memories we play through in the Crossroads and hear through the murals aren't painting him and/or Mythal as the worst villains ever. They're not simplifying their motives or actions. I mean, they're not even justifying their actions either. They fucked up, they did wrong, but they fucking survived and tried to do so with the least casualties possible. The writers are handing us the story, colored only by Solas's feelings/memories. No longer are they colored by the personal biases and limited perceptions of the unreliable narrators like the rest of the game lore and history that has been given to us. These were practically straight from the source! And instead of it being given to us through the distorted lens of other characters, y'all get to distort it all yourself. :)
I had a good conversation with @hyperions-light in the comment section of this post where they also pointed out that the meetings show us just as clearly how this is happening in real time.
The game showed us, IN REAL TIME, how being presented pretty straightforward information is filtered by each person based on their own life's perceptions and biases and their own motivations.
I'm sorry y'all walked away from all that with the most basic surface level understanding colored in black and white.
The whole fucking thing was heartbreaking. What Solas has been through, the situations he was in both of his making and out of his control, were terrible. He did his best but it still wasn't good. Veilguard didn't cheapen what he did or what he went through; it added layers and honestly made it more tragic. He was born into war and desperately fought his whole life like he was the only one standing between his people and total annihilation. You can't live thousands of years like that and not fuck some shit up. I'm also not above that and I don't think any person would be. I'm in my 30s and have fucked plenty of stuff up; gimme a few thousand years and multiple wars and I probably also would have committed war crimes trying to save my people.
Every time I see a new post complaining that Veilguard reduced Solas and Mythal to cartoon villains that did everything wrong, I want to start biting.
#veilguard spoilers#batty is rambling#this is long as fuck#but i'm to the point of biting people for bad takes
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why did i talk to a career coach just for her to tell me to use chatgpt i hate it here
#text#ilana says stuff#to be fair she did also answer some of my other questions and point me toward resources but like.#i asked about how to write a resume when i have no job experience and she told me to use chatgpt????#like chatgpt would literally just make shit up that i'd then have to edit so it's more exaggeration than outright lies#so why not just teach me how to write one myself anyway? and then i'd have that skill for the future once i do have some experience!#i know there's general guides out there for them but one of the perks of talking to a real person is like. an actual discussion#'no that doesn't apply to me' and 'should i include this' and 'how should i phrase this'#and i should think knowing about resumes is a pretty important part of your job! why are you telling me to use ai instead?#like if i need to at least try to write a resume myself and then bring it in for advice on how to improve it then just. say that
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FYI artists and writers: some info regarding tumblr's new "third-party sharing" (aka selling your content to OpenAI and Midjourney)
You may have already seen the post by @staff regarding third-party sharing and how to opt out. You may have also already seen various news articles discussing the matter.
But here's a little further clarity re some questions I had, and you may too. Caveat: Not all of this is on official tumblr pages, so it's possible things may change.
(1) "I heard they already have access to my data and it doesn't really matter if I opt out"
From the 404 article:
A new FAQ section we reviewed is titled “What happens when you opt out?” states “If you opt out from the start, we will block crawlers from accessing your content by adding your site on a disallowed list. If you change your mind later, we also plan to update any partners about people who newly opt-out and ask that their content be removed from past sources and future training.”
So please, go click that opt-out button.
(2) Some future user: "I've been away from tumblr for months, and I just heard about all this. I didn't opt out before, so does it make a difference anymore?"
Another internal document shows that, on February 23, an employee asked in a staff-only thread, “Do we have assurances that if a user opts out of their data being shared with third parties that our existing data partners will be notified of such a change and remove their data?” Andrew Spittle, Automattic’s head of AI replied: “We will notify existing partners on a regular basis about anyone who's opted out since the last time we provided a list. I want this to be an ongoing process where we regularly advocate for past content to be excluded based on current preferences. We will ask that content be deleted and removed from any future training runs. I believe partners will honor this based on our conversations with them to this point. I don't think they gain much overall by retaining it.”
It should make a difference! Go click that button.
(3) "I opted out, but my art posts have been reblogged by so many people, and I don't know if they all opted out. What does that mean for my stuff?"
This answer is actually on the support page for the toggle:
This option will prevent your blog's content, even when reblogged, from being shared with our licensed network of content and research partners, including those that train AI models.
And some further clarification by the COO and a product manager:
zingring: A couple people from work have reached out to let me know that yes, it applies to reblogs of "don't scrape" content. If you opt out, your content is opted out, even in reblog form. cyle: yep, for reblogs, we're taking it so far as "if anybody in the reblog trail has opted out, all of the content in that reblog will be opted out", when a reblog could be scraped/shared.
So not only your reblogged posts, but anyone who contributed in a reblog (such as posts where someone has been inspired to draw fanart of the OP) will presumably be protected by your opt-out. (A good reason to opt out even if you yourself are not a creator.)
Furthermore, if you the OP were offline and didn't know about the opt-out, if someone contributed to a reblog and they are opted out, then your original work is also protected. (Which makes it very tempting to contribute "scrapeable content" now whenever I reblog from an abandoned/disused blog...)
(4) "What about deleted blogs? They can't opt out!"
I was told by someone (not official) that he read "deleted blogs are all opted-out by default". However, he didn't recall the source, and I can't find it, so I can't guarantee that info. If I get more details - like if/when tumblr puts up that FAQ as reported in the 404 article - I will add it here as soon as I can.
Edit, tumblr has updated their help page for the option to opt-out of third-party sharing! It now states:
The content which will not be shared with our licensed network of content and research partners, including those that train AI models, includes: • Posts and reblogs of posts from blogs who have enabled the "Prevent third-party sharing" option. • Posts and reblogs of posts from deleted blogs. • Posts and reblogs of posts from password-protected blogs. • Posts and reblogs of posts from explicit blogs. • Posts and reblogs of posts from suspended/deactivated blogs. • Private posts. • Drafts. • Messages. • Asks and submissions which have not been publicly posted. • Post+ subscriber-only posts. • Explicit posts.
So no need to worry about your old deleted blogs that still have reblogs floating around. *\o/*
But for your existing blogs, please use the opt out option. And a reminder of how to opt out, under the cut:
The opt-out toggle is in Blog Settings, and please note you need to do it for each one of your blogs / sideblogs.
On dashboard, the toggle is at https://www.tumblr.com/settings/blog/blogname [replace "blogname" as applicable] down by Visibility:
For mobile, you need the most recent update of the app. (Android version 33.4.1.100, iOs version 33.4.) Then go to your blog tab (the little person icon), and then the gear icon for Settings, then click Visibility.
Again, if you have a sideblog, go back to the blog tab, switch to it, and go to settings again. Repeat as necessary.
If you do not have access to the newest version of the app for whatever reason, you can also log into tumblr in your mobile browser. Same URL as per desktop above, same location.
Note you do not need to change settings in both desktop and the app, just one is fine.
I hope this helps!
#tumblr#[tumblr]#third party sharing#openai#midjourney#chatgpt#ai art#ai#fyi#psa#anti-FUD#artists on tumblr#writers on tumblr#illustrators on tumblr#tumblr update#oh tumblr#hellsite (derogatory)#“opt out” no longer looks like a word#but still#opt out my friends#please#also if you want to leave tumblr i don't blame you but please remember to hit that opt-out button before you go
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Hoo boy. Now I've made it known multiple times on my blog that I LOATHE the whoobiefication of Vox, but lets get into why/how Vox is NOT a good person nor a baby that needs protecting and why he's all the better for it. Buckle up ladies and gentlemen, this will be long.
Now, why isn't Vox a good person? Easy. Because he (along with the other Vees) is supposed to be the bad guy of the story. Shocking, I know. Vox was NEVER intended to be a good person, and some of y'all just need to accept that.
Now for the long part: HOW is he not a good person?
Well, first of all, his literal introduction is an ad selling drones HE DESIGNED specifically for stalking,"peeping on the neighbors has never been more stylish"
Right off the bat, this tells us he doesn't care about people unless he can profit off them.
Which is also backed up by the point that he ADVERTISES Val and Vels "love potions" which are basically just roofies.
Again. This man ONLY cares about profit first and foremost, screw the people who can get hurt/SA'd by his products.
Next, he has a power of hypnosis which he is NOT hesitant to use. He can take away someones free will at a glance and uses that to his full advantage.
He's also very willing to give Val his lowest earners to shoot. Notice that he does so with no hesitance and no regret.
Also, (and most significantly) he's a huge, HUGE enabler. This guy has cameras EVERYWHERE, ESPECIALLY when Valentino is involved. He's got cameras in Val's room, Angels old room, at Vals corner of the club (which moves when Val does), there's NO WAY he DOESN'T know that Val is a r@pist.
And DESPITE that, he still sleeps with the man, is very likely in love with him, and oh yeah, FUNDS HIS WHOLE DEAL. The cameras Val uses are Voxtech cameras.
Val may be the one who does the dirty work but Vox willingly and knowingly makes a profit off of that. He doesn’t just know and do nothing, he actively HELPS Val out and obviously has no second thoughts nor regrets about it.
This is not a look of disgust or discontent, this is fondness. Genuine fondness. For Valentino. As a PERSON. Let that sink in.
There’s also the implications that Vox is jealous of the attention Angel gets from Val. Angel gets abused constantly by Val, Vox KNOWS, and still hates Angel because of the sheer fact that he takes up so much of Vals attention.
Not to mention the HEAVY implications that he gets off on watching people suffer.
“Well Vox can still do better than Val!!”
While I’m at it, I guess I should bring up the fact that BOTH Vox and Val are MASSIVE red flags.
With Val, aside from the obvious, he’s also a huge attention whore for Vox and isn’t afraid to break Vox’s property if Vox doesn’t pay attention to him. Yeah Vox gets frustrated with him, who wouldn’t be when their lover is throwing temper tantrums every other day?
With Vox, again, aside from the obvious, isn’t afraid to handle Val roughly when he’s mad, and literally screams about how watching his arch nemesis/obsession get the crap beat out of him is better than sex. Right in front of Val by the way. In regular circumstances, 9.98/10 that’s gonna get your ass dumped in a second.
Not to mention the mutual condescension ation towards each other.
And as much as fans (including myself admittedly) like to shit on Val for being a man child, Vox is literally no better.
Plus the explosive tempers.
Seriously. Vox LITERALLY cannot do better than Val. Vox is the only one who can put up with Vals BS and vice versa.
OH YEAH and lets not forget one last thing: VOX ALSO ABUSES HIS OWN EMPLOYEES.
This dude is scared of him, and it’s NOT because he’s worried about getting fired.
So yes. Vox is not nor HAS EVER been a good person.
And for me personally, I love that. I love that he’s entertaining yet awful. I love his dynamic with Alastor, and I love his relationship with Val even more.
If you’re wondering why I personally love Staticmoth, it’s because basic couple rules do not apply to them. They’re both toxic narcissistic red flags and therefore they can be as awful as they want to each other, and the other will simply shake it off. Yet there’s still heavy trust between the two (never being scared of each other) and they still have little moments together where they’re genuinely happy. It’s unique, and something I’ve never seen in media before.
Basically, if you liked Vox better when you thought he was a poor little baby being abused by Val, read a fan fiction. There’s a lot of them out there.
But people really just need to accept the fact that he’s an awful person. Always has been. He’s not better than Val by ANY means. He and Val are both evil pricks who deserve each other.
And guess what? LIKING AN EVIL CHARACTER DOES NOT MEAN YOU SUPPORT THEIR CHOICES. IT’S OKAY TO LIKE VOX EVEN IF HE IS EVIL.
But don’t go on saying that Vox was “ruined” as a character when all signs have always pointed to him being terrible.
#hazbin hotel#hazbin#hazbin vox#vox hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel vox#vox x valentino#valentino hazbin hotel#hazbin valentino#hazbin hotel valentino#valentino#voxval#staticmoth#character analysis#long post
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I think the thing about it for me is that transmascs have the fundamental right to tell you what our experiences with misogyny and male privilege are, not the other way around.
You don't know what we go through unless we tell you. I don't know what other transmascs go through unless they tell me. Cis women, other trans people, even people with the exact same identities, the exact same life trajectories- none of us know what another person is experiencing or has experienced, let alone how they have interpreted and internalized those experiences, unless they tell us. Even then, we will only ever have access to an imperfect version of that true experience filtered through several layers of language and our own perception & biases.
Does this clash with what feminism says about men's experiences? Yes, absolutely! A lot of (generally mainstream) feminism believes that women Know what men experience better than they themselves do, colored as those experiences are by bias and privilege. And this is a fundamentally isolating, egotistical belief. It cuts us off from each other, it prevents us from connecting, and it shuts down meaningful conversation before it can happen. It says women are pure and perfect, and men are sullied by privilege; that anyone touched by privilege cannot be trusted, and should not trust themselves.
When cis men say they've never experienced privilege, the answer should not be, "you don't know that," it should be vulnerability & curiosity. Why do you think that? I find that hard to believe for these reasons, but I want to know more. I want to co-create understanding with you. Are you curious about me, too? Will you offer me this same kindness? (And if not, they're probably not worth your energy!)
And y'know what, maybe they haven't actually experienced the things you think they have! Maybe the framework you are using is imperfect- maybe it works on a systems analysis level, but it doesn't apply universally. Particularly when we're talking about marginalized men!
This idea that experiencing privilege means you cannot be trusted, ever, to understand that privilege or to know when you have or haven't experienced it? It's so fucking dangerous. Case in point: transfems should be able to talk about the ways in which they might have experienced male privilege without it immediately discrediting everything else they have to say, up to and including about their own identities.
We cannot operate like this. A framework that denies people's self-knowledge will never be capable of liberating anyone.
So yes, actually, some transmascs may experience conditional male privilege at times. But will you, do you believe transmascs when we tell you that we don't?
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Is it true that T gel is not as effective as shots are and that you cannot truly transition if you get the gel? Asking as a transmasc whos deathly afraid of needles
hello there!
fortunately, nope, that's not true! that's misinformation that gets spread around like crazy. every single person on this earth will respond differently to medications- just because one person did not receive the benefits they wanted from topical hormone gels (estrogen or testosterone) does not mean everyone else will have the same reaction!
there are folks who will get nothing out of it at all due to certain health conditions, genetics, or other factors, but that does not make the medication wholesale ineffective. there are also people who do not respond well to or process injectable testosterone- every person reacts to medications differently. it's best to take it on a case-by-case basis, as some won't get anything, but some will see the full spectrum of effects. it just depends on your body chemistry and how you personally react to medications
there are many trans people who transition with T gel only! you can absolutely fully medically transition with T gel. you are able to adjust your dose as needed, so you can tailor it to your needs just like injectable T. i took topical T for a few years and it still gave me all the benefits of injectable! including stopping my periods
i think some people struggle with T gel because they do not follow the instructions properly. i've actually met a few transmascs who shower their T gel off RIGHT after they've put it on, thinking the medication absorbs immediately. it is recommended to not shower or swim for several hours (usually around the 4 - 5 hour mark) to make sure all of the medication absorbs. if you do this and are not showing results from your gel, this is why. please don't immediately shower your T gel off! a lot of people also apply their gel to the wrong areas of the body: if you start topical T, your specific formulation will come with a guide showing you where to apply it. applying it in other areas may not work as well
it's a completely viable option, especially for people with shaky hands, needle trauma, or are squeamish. i hope that helps! topical T is not "weaker" than injectable- your skin is actually one of the areas of your body that has the some of the highest bioavailability when it comes to medications, meaning that your skin is excellent at absorbing topical medications and getting as much as possible out of them. as long as you do not have a condition that makes it difficult for your skin to absorb medications, its should affect you just as much as injectable would.
this is not a guarantee, as everyone is affected by medications differently. you may not have a condition that prevents you from absorbing medication through the skin and still struggle. everyone reacts differently- genetics, body chemistry, there are a lot of factors that can change how a person will react. it will depend greatly on who you are as a person.
usually there's not really a way to tell if it will work for someone until they try, so your mileage will vary, but the topical T is not on the whole weaker, or ineffective. it's important to talk about how it doesn't affect some people, but it's also important to talk about how it works great for many. like any medication, experiences with it will vary greatly from person to person and that's not a reflection that the medication is bad or ineffective, that's just normal for medication.
hope that helps!
#asks#answers#testosterone#hrt#hormones#hormone replacement therapy#medical transition#topical testosterone#topical t
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bedtime
NOTE: stä'noli should be stolä'ni, that was a pretty rudimentary mistake and I'm not really sure what was going on in my brain when I wrote it but 😅 maybe i'll fix it on the image later but i can't be bothered right this minute, i'm already up way later than I should be as is (have an early day tomorrow)
Further language notes/rambling under the cut!
"wait, isn't Jake supposed to be spelled Tsyeyk in Na'vi?" Yes it is! And if I'd given that line to a monolingual Na'vi speaker I would've spelled it that way. BUT Neytiri is bilingual and does not pronounce it "Tsyeyk" (I mean, technically she doesn't say "Jake" either, it's more like "Zheyk" but w/e). So for her specifically I keep the j. I suppose at that point I could've just kept the English spelling completely, but leaving silent letters at the end like that makes things weird in written Na'vi given all the grammatical endings that can be applied (not that that matters in this comic because they weren't needed for the line but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ )
Speaking of Jake, writing Na'vi dialogue for him is fun to me because he's not a native speaker which means I'm free to give him all sorts of beginner habits and/or mistakes, especially given that by his own admission he struggled learning the language. However, since I'm working within a pretty broad time frame, I had to remind myself that he wouldn't be a beginner forever.
I bring this up because there are two aspects of Jake's dialogue here that I was going to point out as...well, not wrong, but as more "English-y" habits I'd headcanoned he might hang on to...but on further reflection changed my mind because I realized that at the time of this comic he's been living with the Omatikaya for nearly ten years and would be pretty much fluent. I still left it written that way but am no longer headcanoning that that's ~just how he talks~ at this point in his life. After all, if I'm conscious of these habits after just two years of studying the language as a casual hobby, is it really believable that he'd be clinging to them after nearly a decade of full daily immersion, even with his self-admitted struggle with language learning? 😅
Anyways, for the sake of rambling about my hobby regardless, one of these aspects was using SVO word order, like English. Na'vi is a free-word-order language, so SVO is valid, but most Na'vi speakers are not going to stick to it exclusively. I think Jake, like many native-English-speaking learners, may have relied on this word order earlier on because that's just how his brain has been wired to process information, but at this point I think just by sheer exposure he'd have broken out of any strict adherence to it, intentional or otherwise.
The other thing is concerning possessive. The standard Na'vi grammatical ending for possessive is -yä. But Na'vi grammar also includes a concept called inalienable possession, which refers to things that are intrinsically yours and cannot be given away. What exactly qualifies as inalienable varies between languages that have such a concept, but with Na'vi it's most commonly seen with body parts. Inalienable possession can be marked with -yä, but there is a slight preference to mark it with the topical, -ri, instead. So, compare:
Peyä mehinam lu ngim. His legs are long. Pori mehinam lu ngim. His legs are long (lit. "concerning him, the legs are long")
Both of these are considered acceptable, but the -ri version is considered just slightly "better" (for lack of a better term).
You'll notice that Jake uses peyä instead of pori here; this was because the peyä structure is a more direct equivalent to the English construction, so it's pretty common for new learners to use it instead of -ri. And again it's not wrong, so it's not exactly a mistake per se. So it seemed like a reasonable "Englishy-but-still-technically-correct" habit for Jake to hang on to. And I do still think that may well have been in the case...in his earlier years 😅
soooo yeah. I will still probably be giving Jake some of those speaking habits in comics and such that take place only 2-3 years after A1, but once you get to around 10 years like this one...yeah I think it'll make more sense to just write his dialogue like that of any other fluent Na'vi-speaking character lol
#avatar#avatar 2#sully family#jake sully#neytiri#tuktirey#neteyam#kiri#lo'ak#comic#my art#lì'fya leNa'vi
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you don't actually get to cry "ally yourself with trans women" while actively talking over trans women whose traumatic experiences with transmisogyny are wildly ignored in favor of how hard transmisogyny is on the cis women. like why don't trans women get to say privilege plays into how much transmisogyny affects people?
do we not characterize white privilege as being what protects white americans from the systematic racism that permeates the US?
again, what is the preferred way you would have us refer to that privilege? because I am right here telling you that privilege is a part of the construct of tme/tma but you don't really care that trans women are more affected.
like it's crazy that you seem to think my problem is with the transvestigation playing out against a cis woman and not the way everyone pays attention when it happens to cis women but ignores the rampant transmisogyny when it happens to a trans woman. like you don't even pause to look at why there were no trans women at the olympics to transvestigate in the first place so they turned to the next marginalized option, intersex and women of color, when discussing how trans women deserve better.
Hi I'm the trans woman I deserve better from you specifically
To be completely honest this is looking less and less like a good faith discussion and more and more like you simply accusing me of stuff I didn't say.
You say I am actively talking over trans women. How so? How is "we need to address transmisogyny at its root if we want things to be better" ignoring the plight of trans women?
How is it that I have *repeatedly* acknowledged that there is privilege there, and yet apparently I am ignoring it?
if you want to use the race example: white privilege exists. Racism also affects white people. If white people want to stop being affected by racism (welfare regulations, the war on drugs, low income housing, social programs for community aid, to name a few) then maybe they should ally themselves with people of color because the root of what's causing issues with these things is racism. That doesn't mean white privilege doesn't exist just because a system of oppression affects everyone under said system. It doesn't even mean that the primary target has changed. It's just what makes this a system rather than an individual occurrence.
Never once have I said that cis women are more affected and, in fact, in followup posts I have stated that it *is* quite annoying that people have only been talking about this because this year's Olympics included approximately 0 out trans women. I have been saying that this was the clear end result, once they were rid of the trans women they'd go for whatever cis women they could feasibly get away with, and this time it seems they overplayed their hand.
Castor Semenya is a cis woman who only found out that she is intersex due to being transvestigated. She is, by definition, TME. Except she's not, is she, considering the same rules that apply to trans women apply to her. That's why I brought her up! And- correct me if I'm wrong- but out trans women still competed after she was forced to leave the Olympic running. That is why I'm saying that things maybe are not quite so clear cut as "have" and "have not", because I can point to an example of someone that the definition labels as "has privilege" that according to Olympic ruling bodies no longer counts as a woman either despite being afab TME cis.
If you want to continue to put words in my mouth, then we're out of things to say to each other, and it becomes clear that this was never intended to be a good faith discussion in the first place.
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A few imperfect thoughts about writing fat characters respectfully
By me :
A short (5'2"), fat (approx 300 pounds), middle aged (turning 42 thank god), married to not a fat man, mother of a pre-teen, white, CIS, Anglo, Canadian, upper-middle class woman who writes fic (including smut) about a character who is fat by TV and Hollywood standards (Penelope Garcia)
Note: fat hate or debates about whether being fat is healthy or not will not be tolerated on this post. That is not what this post is about. This is about giving some insight into what writers may want to consider when trying to respectfully include more fat characters in their work and generally moving towards writing doing less harm to fat people.
This post started with me wanting to respond to someone honnestly asking "how do I write good descriptions of fat people" because they wanted to write more fat characters and write them authentically (and I assume in a way that would be respectful to fat people) which is an awesome! ...Or maybe it started a few months ago when a writer friend asked about whether a fat character in a fic borrowing a shirt or hoody from her fit boyfriend made sense. ...Or maybe it started way back when I started writing my first fan fic featuring Penelope Garcia partly in response to being irritated about how so many writers wrote her as a young woman and were often silent on her size or spent a lot of time on her insecurities about her body... anyhoo that's where I come from... doesn't make me an expert except maybe on my own unique experience with a fat body...rather more a fellow muddler / fat character writer enthusiast.
THE BASICS
This first part is a quick list of basics you'll read in other posts about writing characters in general - but we'd better get them out of the way because they apply:
Every character is unique and they way they act and think and feel tends to be a product of some mix of what they look like, how their body works or doesn't, how their brain works and doesn't, their "personality", what they were taught, their unique experiences, and the situation/society they are currently in. There are patterns (which is why we get tropes) but the fun thing is that small things can make big differences. So to write an authentic character, it helps to have a fairly clear sense of at least some of those elements and do some imagining about how all of that would funnel into the moment your writing.
The amount to which you describe character bodies and the style which you use to describe them tends to depend on genre, what the heck is going on in your story, the pov you're writing from, the reason you're writing etc. So their are no hard or fast rules. There may be norms for certain styles of fiction, but then it's up to you to decide if it's stronger for you to lean into those norms or to write "against" them at a particular moment.
In order to be more respectful and less harmful to fat people (especially if you see value in actively challenging the anti-fat status quo), you may have to change how you describe all bodies in your work, as well the attitudes both fat people and non fat people have about bodies in general.
Now that that's out of the way... let's get specifically to my thoughts on writing fat characters. I'm going to divide this part into tips for DESCRIBING FAT BODIES, FAT BODIES IN SPACE, and THINKING AND FEELING IN A FAT BODY.
TIPS FOR DESCRIBING FAT (OR OTHER) BODIES
I would say that both consistency and diversity across the work is important, by this I mean :
Consistently describe bodies in about the same amount of detail across your work for the same type of character regardless of body type. So protagonists should get about the same depth and breath of body descriptions as each other regardless of body type. Same goes for vilalns, supporting characters etc. Sometimes people are mute about the look and shape of "strait sized" character bodies (because what's to describe - they are just "normal") but then spend a bunch of time on "other sized" bodies or vice versa (in this case, the fat body is erased usually because of some form of internalised fat hate or phobia paired with "if you can't say anything nice" don't say anything at all.) If you're doing either of these things, I'm not saying it's wrong and has to be fixed- I'm just saying it's a flag that you may want to think about why you are writing differently about different body types and what your work is saying about what bodies have value and which don't.
Diversity Bodies in the real world come in a lot of different shapes and sizes (I know I know obvious woman strikes again) but if you are writing stories with fairly large casts and everyone has the same body type - there better be a good reason for it within the narrative. Truthfully there are cases where this does make sense to some degree... if you're writing about a group where there are physical requirements and standards for the folks in that world (ballet dancers, fire fighters, cops, soldiers, fbi agents) there may or may not be less diversity in body type and more homogeneous attitudes to body norms within the group - and certainly those who are outside of the norm may be commented on or feel like they are "other". But if you are in a more free setting - if you write without a diversity of body types - especially in settings where there is diversity - that is probably a clue that you're not thinking enough about what your various characters look like and may be "normalizing" one type of body over others. Similarly, if you are writing about a real time and place where there is evidence that there were fat bodies and you have none...that's another flag to ask yourself why.
The magical tools in your toolkit for describing fat and other bodies: Body neutrality and POV
Body neutrality is about not loving bodies and not hating bodies just accepting bodies as they are....or in this case describing them as they are. No poetic language. No judgement. Just this is what this character looks like. If you're struggling to do this, I suggest doing a body map for at least two characters with different body types - possibly one that you find easy to think of positively (in this case likely someone thin or at least fit) and one that you find more difficult to describe positively (in this case someone fat).
Describe them head to toe, naked and then clothed, in detail - acurately but not poetically. Start with their feet and then work up bit by bit. Pay attention to things like hair, scars, shape of joints, acne, tightness or looseness of skin, colour of skin, nails, fat, lack of fat, muscle tone, where do they hold their stress, what's in the bowels, how well they do or don't work, do they have their appendix, what they ate last, proportions (is their torso long or short compared to their legs), lungs - how much do they hold, are they healthy? - now describe their throat, shoulders, hands, hair, then end with face.
The only rule is no positive or negative connotations to anything. it's neither good nor bad that they have stretch marks - they just do and they have faded to silver. Now that you "see them' clearly - now look at them through the eyes of someone who loves them in a familial way...what do they see most? what words do they use? now through someone who is attracted to them sexually and love them and aren't ashamed...what do they see most? what words do they use? Now through the eyes of someone who hates them or wants to change them? or a child? or a dog? Now... how does your character feel about these descriptions? Now you have a variety of words you can draw on to describe the body and you also should have a fairly good idea of what is a more skewed view of the body and a more realistic view.
Also...it can be helpful to remember there are no consistently good or bad words to describe bodies - it depends on context and who is using the words. It's a lot like how sick can be used to describe something negatively or positively depending on the agreed upon meaning of the word by a group.
DESCRIBING BODIES IN SPACE/MOTION
Ok here's the thing - for every activity you can think of - there is a fat body that does it well and a fat body that can't do it easily or at all and there are a lot of reasons for both. Often it has to do with the fact that a lot of equipment is built for people who are 250lbs or less; and anything for bigger people tends to cost a premium. Also, if it's not an easy new skill to acquire with the body you've got...it may take longer and more bravery to keep pushing through to achieve mastery. People may try to discourage you from pursuing things. Sometimes out of prejudice, sometimes out of impatience, sometimes out of caring.
So deciding what your character's body can do easily and what it can't and why is more important than me giving you a list of words for how to describe fat movements.
My suggestion is: do your research. What sorts of body types have done the activity in the real world? What are the exceptions? What changes? So for example if a fat person is climbing a mountain - do they need more help? Different equipment? A different route?
Things to consider:
- equipment / things that can have weight limits: bunk beds, roller coasters, scooters, waterslides, camping chairs, elevators, trampolines, some bikes, life jackets (finding one that fit was a nightmare), exercise balls, airline seats (learning to ask for the seatbelt extender without second thought or shame was a lifesaver)
- not all fat people have pain, those who do will move taking into account the specifics of the pain - same as a lean person
- when I was pregnant I just got more cylindrical and did not get a classic belly. I moved well and easily all the way through my pregnancy, I had none of the back pain or ankle pain some people get. I stood for a lot of my labour. I gave birth on my hands and knees. Other fat people will have had different experiences of pregnancy...but that was mine.
- clothing can have a huge impact on what bounces or jiggles and what doesn't
- most (but not all) fat people I know are particularly sensitive to appearing sweaty or smelling bad
- how winded someone gets is not directly correlated to body size, neither is heart rate or breathing style; I have theatre training and grew up swimming - I breath very slowly and very deeply normally - so when I talk a slow deep breath...it is very slow and deep indeed. I have always been fat but can swim forever - I have always gotten winded and kind of dizzy running... Other fat people may be opposite.
- people do not "see fat" consistently. People regularly underestimate how fat I am (by 100+ pounds or many clothing sizes) because I am short, well spoken, proportioned in a way that is seen as fairly typical, and very mobile and very light on my feet. Someone who weighs less than me but is slower moving, dull witted, in a sour mood, is illl, or poorly dressed may be perceived as much heavier than than someone the same weight or heavier who is behaving/clothed differently (which can change how much fat hate someone experiences) and definately heavier than they are. Height also changes how people perceive weight.
- many stores still don't carry plus sized clothing, but eventually i sort of got used to it - although some days it makes me angry and other days sad
- chairs with arms or the occasional booth can be uncomfortable or just plain impossible to sit in, it's probably partly my ADHD but I often forget this until it happens; for taller and fatter people than me this can be a much more regular occurrence.
- once (if) a character figures out how to dress/move their body in a way that feels comfortable and meets general standards (or at least theirs) of respectability - they may not think that much about their body...or at least until something external draws attention to it
- I don't like feeling like I'm squishing people, so I will make myself small and still on buses or at the theatre, I also don't like sitting on laps or being lifted or carried.
- I often feel much taller than I actually am - except when I am standing right beside someone taller or am trying to reach something on a high shelf. The same principle applies - I feel larger next to smaller people and smaller next to larger ones.
- clothing and what I'm carrying also changes how I move (just like my lean counterparts)
- I don't lounge, my car seat is set almost straight but I sit further back than my brother in law who has a similar height and weight - he leans the seat back but pulls closer. I don't nap. My leaner husband both lounges and naps.
- some fat folks eat, walk, and move quickly - some slowly; figuring out which your character does, when they behave "out of character", and why these are their preferences will go a long way to creating an authentic feeling fat character
- acne is a thing and learning to accept ones rolls and tummy aprons (and thus take care of them properly) is a common challenge; although many do it naturally without thinking much of it. You lift your breasts and wash underneath - you lift you belly and wash underneath.
- fat bodies have the same reactions as everyone else: they tingle, burn, get numb, get goose bumps, like to be touched in certain places and in certain ways, feel the breeze, get hot, get cold, shiver, stretch, relax, get aroused, feel release, hold tension, feel capable and strong, feel weak...no matter who you are sitting in a chair that's too small for you will put pressure on your body and feel uncomfortable or safe ..you can explore what that is like. Sometimes it is a reassuring sensation. Sometimes it is uncomfortable. This is the same for fat bodies. It just may happen more frequently and depending on your character's context and experience the emotional reaction / thoughts that are generated may be a bit different.
THINKING AND FEELING IN A FAT BODY.
I think I touched on some of this in some of the earlier sections...but here I want to talk a bit about my experience of being fat and my thoughts about it - your fat characters may or may not feel similarly...but my hope is that you at least think about options as opposed to only writing one or two types of fat character.
I mainly "feel" fat in moments when it is pointed out to me or I am limited in what I can do because of it
I quite like my body, it is my home and I feel very connected to it's features. In my experience this is unusual for many people in North American society regardless of actual body shape or weight. Sometimes I feel guilty for not hating my body the way "I am supposed to" and wonder vaguely if my body would be different if I could hate it more (although as I get older I doubt it).
I do feel some pressure to be a cheerful "good" fat person as a way to stay safe and survive.
Nothing makes people more uncomfortable than me calling myself fat without judgement or asking for accomodation matter of factly. It took me a long time to feel comfortable doing so, but I do it now all the time and it makes my life better.
I felt some pressure to be the fun friend who people feel comfortable eating whatever they wanted with and I often felt like I was depended on to order dessert so they could too. This may have been all in my mind though.
Fat bellies can be very intimate places.
Not all fat people have dieted, but many have. I was lucky enough to never be forced into a diet. I did try keto once but it was a bit intense and nuts so I stopped. I learned a bunch doing it though.
Medical people not treating you appropriately when your fat is 100% a thing.
Internalised fat hate and fat phobia is a thing for many fat people and it pops up at weird moments.
I don 't.give a damn about being in a bathing suit. As long as it fits and my boobs and butt.aren't.falling out - I am happy and feel very attractive. In fact I am probably at my most comfortable in a bathing suit or naked. My body is mine in both those instances.
To reach the "healthy weight" for my height - I would have to lose half of my body mass. That is a lot of me to loose. Embarking on something like that would be totally different than loosing 5 or 10 pounds. Trying to navigate the various medical opinions about whether being fat is bad or not is exhausting.
For me, being fat and older is easier than being fat and younger. This could easily be the opposite for someone else.
Some fat people are into sex, some are not . Some folks are into sex with fat people and some are not. Some are nice about it. Some are not. Some want nice. Some do not.
Fat people are all around you living their best life or their worst life or somewhere in between. We know we are fat. We sometimes care and sometimes don't.
Ok that's it. I don't know if it will help anyone or if it's just a collection of rambles - but at the end of the day...fat people are just people. We are not going to go away. We are all sorts. We are the heroes of our own stories. We are people who are loved, depended on, hated, ignored, and/or spotlighted.
Some fat people think about being fat all the time. Some rarely. Just please don't erase us or other us.
Just by taking the step to interrogate your own biases and any feelings / assumptions you have about fatness/thinness is a huge step and will help limit the harm you could unintentionally do to fat people...actually to all people. Like all forms of hate and intelorance - Fat hate hurts EVERYONE. I would argue it privileges a few...but even that can be excruciating for the individuals who strive to retain that priviledge. We need to dismantle it.
#writing#writing fat characters#fat phobia#fat hate#long post#personal#body neutrality#body posititivity#writing about bodies
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Oh I'm going to have so much fun excavating this
Difference between Round 5 and Round 7 encounters
The reason for Luka's reaction
Breakdown of what Hyuna's existence means to Luka
How that influences their potential face-off
Luka and Hyuna’s reunion scene. In times past, they shared a bond like no other, but now they’ve gotten used to the years without each other.”
— Round 5 Commentary, Artbook [Translation by @/alnstENG]
The eye contact Luka and Hyuna make in Round 5 marks their first reunion after a long period of time.
Hyuna calmly looks over her shoulder at him, still sporting bruises and blood from the beating Mizi gave him.
Luka doesn't even bother to fully get up, merely staring up at her with his default blank expression as she leaves with his opponent's unconscious body.
Overall, an unusually calm reunion considering the emotionally-charged history between them.
Then we have Round 7.
In sharp contrast to their previous composed demeanor, this time they're both wide-eyed upon seeing each other, visibly affected by the encounter.
Makes sense for Hyuna, an extremely expressive character now standing face-to-face with the source of her biggest trauma.
But Luka? So far he's only shown us 3 types of expressions: blank, smirking, and gleeful. "In shock" is an unexpected addition, especially for someone who prides himself in being trained to anticipate anything that could go wrong on stage beforehand in order to maintain his constant heart rate. This is the most raw emotion we have ever seen from him outside of the strange, flushed smiles he's shown.
Why is he so shocked?
The simplest answer is that he didn't expect to see Hyuna here and now, yet the same reasoning should have applied even more so for the unexpected reunion in Round 5 which presumably took place years after they last saw each other. Hyuna has already crashed his performance once. Could he really not have anticipated her reappearance in the realm of possibilities he considered?
No, I think the key here isn't that he didn't expect Hyuna to be there.
It was the state she's in that prompted his reaction.
A core facet of Hyuna's character is her strength. We've seen that aspect of her reinforced again and again throughout her appearances in every piece of content we're given.
Remembering her trauma from whatever went down with Luka and Hyun Woo is the only time we ever see her weakness, but even then she bounces back with grit, determination, and cheer in All In.
"Every obstacle in my way"
"I've crushed them all"
"Step all over me but I'll rise again"
Luka and Hyun Woo are her only weaknesses. Short of that, she feels almost untouchable, infallible with the momentum she carries with every move.
This is the Hyuna we know, and the Hyuna Luka remembers.
But both we and Luka were wrong.
Hyuna now stands before him drenched in sweat, unable to even stand up straight, hair messed up and all over her face, dark bags under her eyes, and most hard-hitting of all — a gaping, bleeding wound in her side.
How does it feel to have the strongest person in his life, and in the series, stand before him in this condition? Reduced to this before they even faced each other?
His expression says it all.
But wait it's only going to get worse from here.
They're going to force him to face her now.
(The good news is, if they have a special round with their special guests, Hyuna would at least be given first aid and be out of immediate danger.)
A charismatic vocalist with a powerful voice and performance. If she had remained on Alien Stage, she might have become Luka's only rival...
— Hyuna's Profile, Artbook
Hyuna is simultaneously three types of existences for Luka, some potentially more canon or prominent than others.
1) Hyuna is the only person who can give Luka a sense of crisis.
Up until now, Luka hasn't taken any of his opponents seriously, including Mizi (Artbook Commentary) and Till (Patreon).
But Hyuna has been established as Luka's rival since early on and their stats certainly reflect that. She's the one person who has a chance of beating Luka, thereby also being the one threat he could ever face or treat seriously.
The fact that his greatest opppnent is injured now gives him an edge and in terms of survival, it's something he should take advantage of.
However—
2) Hyuna is also the "worthy opponent" he's been looking for this whole time.
Luka chose to compete again on Alien Stage for Season 50. Heperu could have been the real decision-maker here, but even if that were the case, I don't think Luka was unwilling. The stage is the only place he has full control of his life, so returning to it is like giving an alcoholic alcohol after leaving him dry for a spell.
In addition to the regular stages, he's looking forward to facing a "worthy opponent" in the finals (Magazine Interview).
If anyone could construct the perfect performance with him, if anyone could allow him to experience the most brilliant moments on stage, if anyone could be the worthy opponent he seeks... it'll be Hyuna.
The fact that she's not in top condition would certainly put a damper on that.
3) Hyuna is likely the only existence Luka has ever cared about.
Hyuna is the only person from beginning to end that Luka has shown to care about in any way whatsoever, to the extent that he wants to protect her. Of course, with the caveat that she submits.
Luka -> Hyuna [Intimacy 70%, #1]
No. You're just avoiding the current situation. If you were in my arms, your safety would be guaranteed....
Yet circumstances won't allow for that option anymore even in the unlikely situation where she was willing.
We can all see the upcoming death match implied in "Special Guests" — a showdown between the only two contestants to have ever successfully run away from Alien Stage, and the effective two-time reigning champion.
What kind of mental state is he going to go into this match with?
Does he steel himself and place survival above Hyuna regardless of what his past intentions have been? Take advantage of her weakened state for survival?
Does he falter, feet swept out from under him by the one situation he didn't anticipate?
Will he be conflicted for once in his life regarding whether he wants to win? Weighing survival and the safety of the one person he wanted to keep alive? For his victory means her certain death?
Or perhaps the most interesting choice of all.
He remorselessly goes through with it, chasing victory because that's all that defined him up until now, and while Hyuna is important to him — the only person important to him — she, at 70% intimacy, is not more important to him than his most primal instinct to survive. He who looks down on Season 50's competitors for getting caught up in their emotions (Patreon Q&A).
Or so he thinks.
Luka wins. He proves himself no better than his past opponents, losing himself to the basic desire to survive. This realization won't be pleasant.
He also proves himself wrong; it turns out Hyuna did matter to him more than he can reason, more than he thought.
Because despite his rationalization, she is the sole anchor he has in a world where he's made no human connections other than the hollow, baseless ones constructed in the five minutes on stage before his opponents are sent to their deaths. He'll need to continue to live without his remaining anchor in a world where he otherwise exists 24/7 in a micromanaged cage under the watch of Guardian Heperu, a certified control freak.
Thus he crumples before Mizi in their revenge match. Not because of Mizi especially, but because he is now living with the consequences of his own choices.
#if you told me i was already going to start making predictions about the next vid#alnst#alien stage#alnst luka#alnst hyuna#alien stage luka#alien stage hyuna#luka alnst#luka alien stage#hyuna alnst#hyuna alien stage#alien stage round 7#alien stage round 5#alnst spoilers#alnst theories
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random Ekko thoughts
so I'm trying to get a little fic writing in, and I was thinking of some timebomb takes I've seen recently. I realized that a lot of opinions people have on their relationship and how it's depicted center around Jinx, and I was wondering what care people give towards writing Ekko, so here are some things I like to include when writing him:
perfectionist. Ekko, at least in League canon, goes back and forth over and over to craft a perfect moment. I think he'd be observant, detail-oriented, probably a little neurotic, definitely the type to replay an awkward interaction over and over in his head in the shower or before falling asleep
emotionally guarded. first, I gotta say I don't think Ekko would want to be this way. but he's been through so much he finds it useful to have walls up. it's not like all the toughness is a defense mechanism—he fights for what he believes in and is clearly very brave (who else makes hoverboards ffs). he does miss, though, the times and people that allowed him to be more vulnerable, and he treasures it when he has it. his childhood ended way too soon
chronic overthinker. this goes back to the perfectionism, but I think he'd constantly be questioning everything. he's good on his feet, but he likes to have a plan, and he'd tends to think about those for a long time
charismatic as hell. this one I think is proven by the show, lol. Ekko seems very personable, likes to haggle (at least as a kid), and is liked enough to lead a resistance movement. I think he'd make good speeches and be good at convincing people. this would, of course, cause drama with Jinx, because he'd be like "all these people believe in me and my former best friend doesn't," ow
drama. I like to give him a pretty dramatic inner monologue, lol. I also like to think he's self-aware enough to realize he's being dramatic in the moment and to then continue the drama anyway
enjoyer of thrills. hoverboard. need I say more?
childish and playful side. didn't get to have a full childhood and cherishes getting to let that side out. cue fluff
fidgeter. it preceded the tinkering
player of mind games. this is mostly based on how he treats Caitlyn and Vi after kidnapping them, putting them through what essentially amounts to tests (for, imo, understandable reasons). he also goads Jinx into a game he knows he'll be able to win. I think he'd apply this thinking to other scenarios, be they big or small
too-big sense of responsibility. would feed into the drama for sure. he feels the weight of his community on his shoulders, and because he wants things to go well, and because they're counting on him, he takes on a lot that he maybe should not
self-righteous. he strikes me as filled with righteous anger. he's right, most of the time. on the occasion he isn't, this causes problems
proud. wouldn't be a real issue in most situations, but it's there
irreverent. he flips off cops as a kid. we love him for this
smart. this is obvious, but sometimes can be forgotten in the fandom. I'd see Ekko as book-smart and having street-smarts (or at least a lot more than Jayce, but that's a low bar). I think his verbal skills would also be a bit more polished than some of the other science-inclined characters (cough cough Jinx). I think it's also notable that among the others (Jayce, Viktor, Heimerdinger, Jinx), Ekko is the main science character who has no access to proper schooling at any point. sure, he has his job with Benzo, but it's unclear how much that would have taught him. Silco probably got at least books for Jinx, and the others had real teachers. there's an element of resourcefulness in Ekko's smarts which is laudable, imo
very dorky. we love a man with range. I feel like he would be able to operate on multiple levels, one in which he's this cool charismatic leader and another when you get to know him better, who makes science puns and has a lot of insecurities, which naturally leave him replaying awkward conversations in the shower. layers!
idealistic. you have to give people what they need to live
heart of gold. one thing that always strikes me is that Ekko is really the only member of the main cast concerned enough with the plight of the average person in Zaun to make it his whole business. he's tending to the crisis in a way that is simultaneously very grounded and (again) idealistic, where substance use recovery is very much needed in the setting but he's also (perhaps in contrast to Vander) throwing himself into battles that are unsustainable because he believes in his cause, even if the persecution is so bad he has to hide over it
disaster bi (this one is for me)
Ekko's a really layered and interesting character. I wanted to bring up some things I think about when writing him because of posts I've seen recently about him being reduced to "Jinx's boyfriend" (due to anti-black racism, of course) and posts just kinda about timebomb in general? I think because it's been canon that Ekko has a crush of Jinx for so long, it's easy to take that for granted and not give much thought to his side of the ship. we also spend a lot more time in Jinx's head than his in the show, even though the brief moment we do spend in his head introduces a whole new art style and the best song on the soundtrack (fight me)
obviously, I'm a shameless Ekko and Firelights stan. he's my favorite character in Arcane and one of my favorites in anything ever, so it was fun to flesh out my headcanons, things I think are extrapolatable from canon, and just some of the traits that go into writing him. if people have others (or just traits and things they think are interesting) I'd love to hear them! I love my brilliant and contradictory boy!
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Dead Dove December 2024
Hello everyone! This December I’m hosting a multi-fandom event that I’m calling, Dead Dove December! From 12/01/2024 - 12/31/2024 I’m encouraging others to create something that expresses their deepest and (most importantly) darkest desires. I will be reblogging all pieces of art or fanfiction, and will post a masterlist in January. or whenever i get around to it. i have not even done the pride masterlist bc I'm a disaster! But most importantly this will be for funsies.
I hosted this last year with just oscar/pedro Characters but Logan is my special guy so he's here now too <3
Details below the cut…
What is Dead Dove Do Not Eat?
Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, or DDDNE has its origins in one of my comfort shows!
The phrase comes from a meme referencing the 2003 Arrested Development episode "Top Banana", in which Michael Bluth opens a paper bag labeled "DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT" and, upon discovering that there is a dead dove inside the bag, says, deadpan, "I don't know what I expected." - fanlore.org
In short, what you see in the tags is what you should expect to see in the fic. This can apply for any type of fic, including the fluffy ones, but it’s usually associated with darker themes. That being said, this is your warning that this is a DARK THEMED EVENT. If you aren’t comfortable with darker topics like non-con, excessive violence, blood/gore, death, toxic relationships, 18+ age gaps, and more, then I encourage you not to participate in this event.
How to Participate
For the month of December, post your Dead Dove fanfiction or fan art on your blog. Use the tag #deaddovedecemeber2024 and tag me. You can also send a link via ask or DM if you like! I will not be posting anything for you, just reblogging and linking. At the end of December I will post a masterlist with links to everyone’s works! Side Note - Since Tumblr doesn’t really allow for NSFW art, you can post your work on Twitter or any other site that allows it and just send me that link so I can add it to the masterlist.
Rules
You MUST be 18+ to participate. I will be checking your blog/social media to be sure. Please make sure your age is easy to find. If I find that you’re a minor or if your age isn’t readily present I will be blocking you and you will be unable to participate. You can just add that you are over 18 if you don’t want your age out on the internet. As the creator and promotor of this event, I need to know I’m not interacting with minors given the nature of this event.
The work MUST be dark in some way. There’s no limit to how dark your work needs to be or can be, but it needs to contain some sort of dark theme in order to qualify. If non con isn’t your thing, dub con via stockholm syndrome or brainwash can let you write a more comfortable scene while still remaining dark. Fics and art do not necessarily need to be NSFW. last year a friend even did cnc, where it was seemingly dark but then ended with it was Marc and reader ding a scene. Dark reader or oc is an absolute yes.
Your work MUST have an Oscar Isaac, Hugh Jackman, or Pedro Pascal Character. It can be x reader, x oc,xcanon character, crosoversec. If you want Joel Miller fucking the ghoul from Fallout (or both of them fucking a reader)you can even though Eddie doesn't exist in any Oscar Pedro Hugh content. If you want Marc and Logan to fuck, go nuts. Got a series you're already writing, and wanna submit a dark chapter or a dark Au to it? That's fine too! We're pretty open here. No rpf.
Do NOT post anything before 12/01/2024. I will not count submissions prior to that date or after 12/31/2024. Masterlsit will be posted in January.
Your work MUST contain the proper tags. I won’t police how detailed your tags should be, but, for instance, if your work contains non-con, and you didn’t tag non-con then your work will not qualify. Please be inclusive in your writing where you can, but aware of POC queer and disabled people.
You may submit no more than two (2) pieces. This can include a fanfic and fanart, two fanfics or two fanarts. This is to allow someone to write a piece and make a work of art to accompany it. You can also work with another creator together.
I’m not going to yuck someone’s yum, but there are some things I’m just personally not comfortable with and since I’ll be reading/viewing/promoting all of these, I have a few things not allowed in the event. The list of what’s NOT allowed is shorter than the list of what IS allowed so here’s a list of the things that will NOT be tolerated in this event:
No underage/aged up minor content - To clarify, this includes things popular ships like - TLOU 1 or "Show Ellie" x Joel or Miguel O’Hara X Gwen Stacy. No "ageing up" minors for the purpose of a fic.
No Bestiality - To clarify, monsterfucking does NOT count as bestiality (at least to me). For example, werewolves, venom, Khonshu, e.t.c. are all allowed.
No Real person fanfiction. Can’t include Oscar, Pedro, or Hugh. This is not a moral judgement or me looking down just not in my comfort zone
No incest - To clarify, step-sibling/step-parent relationships are permitted as long as everyone is 18+. Different age of consent in your state or country does not apply here, and frankly I'd prefer 21+ but I know there are younger people than me who write so I'm not gonna say you gotta write like that. Selfcest relationships are also allowed (like Moon Knight or Miguel with his alternate self, e.t.c.).
No necro/snuff. Plain and simple.
I have final say in what I want to promote. Is TLOU 2 Ellie an adult and not technically Joel's ctual kid? Yes. technically it fits all the rules but it gives me the ick so I'm not gonna accept it. I cannot possibly prepare for all scenarios, and i want to just be able to have fun here with yall.
If you’re unsure if something is allowed or not, you can send me a DM or an ask for clarification prior to posting.
You can use any prompts you want or none, you aren’t tied to any one idea but here are some to get the ideas flowing if you need them!
Also, you can absolutely use a fic to inspire your art, or art to inspire a fic! Your inspiration piece, whether yours or someone else’s does not have to be from December, but you MUST obtain permission from the original creator before I promote your work. Most creators are happy when their work inspires others, and all my fics are open to being used for inspiration, but please reach out to the creator first.
I’m very excited! This is my second year hosting this an I've hosted other events by myself or with friends so I'm happy to keep going, this time with Hugh Jackman bc i can't get Logan out of my head.
Dividers and header made by the amazing @melodygatesauthor
Please consider reblogging to spread the word!
I don't reall know many people in the logan/hugh jackman fandom so I'd love if this was an oppritunity to get to know yall too!
Dark prompt list to come, also check out #deaddovedecember2023 to see what last year had!
#deaddovedecember2024#dead dove do not eat#dark joel miller#dark!joel#the last of us hbo#Logan howlett#logan howlett x reader#dddne#dark#dark fanfiction#oscar isaac#pedro pascal#joel miller#moon knight#tlou#jake lockley#triple frontier#dark content#dark!fic#non con#dub con#yandere#dark jake lockley#dark marc specter#dark steven grant#dark santiago garcia#dark francisco morales#dark pero tovar#dark smut#dark duke leto
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💕Join my digital harem!💕🧎♀️➡️🧎♀️➡️🧎♀️➡️🧎♀️➡️
Are you a dumb slut? Are you desperate for male attention? Do you want to have every inch of your body inspected and judged? Dm me to apply to join my online harem. I'll give you degrading tasks to complete and tell you all the disgusting things I would do to your body. You can talk to your sister wives about ways to better serve myself and the patriarchy. I want all my girls to get along, but you will also be competing for my attention and praise. There will be a hierarchy among the harem girls, and you must respect the authority of the girls above you.
Your application should include the following:
Your name, age, ethnicity, height, and weight (must be over 18 obv)
A picture of your tits
An answer to these questions
Why would you make a good harem girl?
On a scale of 1-10 how obedient are you?
Would you identify as a maid, cow, pig, pet, or housewife?
Do you have any specific kinks or limits I should know about?
Update: I have 6 girls and counting. They may not all get the attention they want, but that doesn't matter. I could use a really fat girl, preferably a feedee, but as long as you're a woman willing to submit to my power, send me a dm.
#patriarchy kink#human fleshlight#corruption kink#dumb slvt#degredation kink#bimboification#bimbo training#mind corruption#mysoginy kink#serve the patriarchy#bd/sm daddy#bd/sm community
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yk I was hoping for fun silly bsf Damian right?? NOT WHATEVER THAT WAS 😭😭
(I would 100% love another post elaborating on this if you want to make one. I eat up bsf Damian content)
WHITE LIES — headcanons, damian w.
well i mean since you asked— here’s some elaboration on my small facts and crumbs of my bsf!damian saga, series, whatever
contains: bsf!damian x gn!reader, angst, definitely not fluff, mentions of murder/sacrifice but in a symbolic way
a/n: this goes against my own rules for this blog, but who the fucks gonna stop me? n e ways pls read the ending a/n 🫶
there isn’t much you know about bsf!damian’s parents relationship except that his dads a whore
what he has told you is that his mom raised him abroad which was why bruce seemed practically unaware or unknowing of his existence before then, which seems to check out since he only came into the public eye only 2 years ago
due to both of his parents living in separate countries with different laws and with him being a minor, it’s hard to deduce when and where he’s gonna be at times
bsf!damian told you that the agreement his parents settled upon was that his dad gets to keep him for the majority of the school year but goes to stay with his mom for the majority of the summer
however, his mom is allowed to spontaneously pick him up only a few times during his school year which doesn’t seem quite right on your part but apparently his moms also loaded and his dad can’t really do anything about it
of course, it’s merely a cover up whenever he has to go on missions that take longer than just a free weekend
it's a hard lie to keep up, but as time goes on it gets easier to keep up and even harder for you to try and decipher anything that could potentially be wrong with bsf!damian’s stories
it'll be worth it in the end, won't it?
he tries his best to not listen to you when you talk about yourself, the less he knows about you the easier it is deceive you and eventually cut you off
but he listens
it's middle school, why should he take anything that happens here seriously? that includes you, bsf!damian doesn't see himself continuing to talk to you three years from now and he highly doubts that possibility
so what if he secretly wants to know you for eternity and onwards? despite his life being full of wealth bsf!damian still can’t afford being able to keep you in it for long
bsf!damian could barely scrape by deceiving you with an overly elaborate tapestry of all of the lies he’s ever fed you, but it’s for the better
it’ll be worth it in the end, won’t it?
his wants weren’t needs, and both as an assassin and robin that rule applied — except this time around he placed the average civilian’s life over his own
the universe never seemed to allow bsf!damian enjoy things for long, for you were merely a civilian he wanted to be by his side, wanting for your lack of expectations on how to present himself, but he didn’t need it
but it was for the better, for your safety and everyone else’s so you would be away from all the danger and destruction bsf!damian never failed to bring with him
it’ll be worth it in the end, won’t it?
it has to be
it has to be worth something, anything, for bsf!damian’s time being by your side to be cut short by his own hands, because if it isn’t then he just wasted his only semblance as a normal teenager, a child, away
you had bsf!damian and bsf!damian had you, if he let go of that without your safety from the countless revenge plots and villains that had it out for him ensured then he didn’t make a sacrifice, he committed a murder
and that was something damian had sworn off
a/n: no, this wasn’t made out of the multiple asks and comments asking for more bsf!damian content, i had already had this in the works when i made my last post about holding off on updates so for the month this may be my last actual post on bsf!damian, for the month.
#rin’s inbox 💌#bsf!damian#if some things aren’t accurate to canon i do apologize#i haven’t fully caught up with everything 😭#damian x reader#damian wayne x reader#damian x gender neutral reader#damian al ghul x reader#damian wayne x gn reader#damian wayne x gender neutral reader#damian wayne x y/n#damian x you#damian x y/n#damian wayne x you#dc x you#dc x y/n#dc x reader
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hot take but I think the "we're only talking about people who identify as queer when we talk about the queer community" thing was and is one of the worst arguments in defense of the word.
I am talking about you when I say "the queer community", and "queer people", and "queer studies". I'm describing a thing that a large group of people have in common, and you share that thing in common. Your individual comfort with the word doesn't change the definition of it.
I'm sorry you don't like that word. You don't ever have to call yourself that, and you don't have to like it, and I won't ever call you that if you don't want me to.
What I am going to do, however, is decide what language I use based on A) how inclusive it is, and B) how well it communicates my point to the relevant audience.
"Inclusive" here is an important criteria; this refers to the number of people who should be included, that are included, ideally without some kind of weird hierarchy (like we see in "LGBT+" and variations). The technical definition is what we're talking about here- putting personal comfort aside, could the word "queer" describe you?
There will always be someone who doesn't like a particular word for themselves- even if it could apply. Lots of people don't like "LGBT+" (I don't really), even if it technically applies to them. You're not more important than they are.
You can identify one way on a personal level, and still understand that when we're discussing the larger community of people and the histories attached to it, you're included in that- even if you don't personally identify with the specific word we're using. Your story, your voice, and your presence matters.
Y'all need to learn to distinguish "broad term for an experience I share with others" from "personal identity label I use to describe my individual experience to others". ASAP.
#queer#also because i can hear the terfs in my head:#'woman' does not include trans men because trans men are not women#functionally and fundamentally it's not the same gender experience#and the word refers to a personal gender identity#'queer' describes a common experience of being rejected from a particular group
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