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My Own Soul’s Warning
Summary : You, an immortal being, falls in love with the very mortal Bucky Barnes. You would do anything for him, even if it meant you had to strike a deal with Death herself.
Pairing : Bucky Barnes x reader (she/her)
Warnings/tags : Violence, death, trauma, mentions of sex (not graphic), cursing. Rio Vidal makes an appearance. Angst with a happy ending. Fluff!!!!
Word count : 6.3k
Note : This fic was inspired by Agatha and Rio, though this has a much happier ending. Reader is the Spirit of Suffering, an immortal entity who shows herself to people in extreme physical and emotional suffering to help ease the pain. The title is inspired by the Killers song of the same name. The fic started in the 1940s and ends after FATWS. Enjoy!
The first time Bucky saw you, it was 1942. He was in the trenches, under the dim moonlight of Germany.
He was supposed to be Sergeant James Barnes, fighting to defend his country. But then? He was only selfishly fighting for his own life.
The air was thick with the stench of mud, sweat, and blood. The world around him felt like a prison of haze and darkness— machine guns firing in the distance, the rumble of explosions shaking the ground underneath him.
He knew it only took one mistake, one slip up, and this is how he would die.
He was tired beyond anything he’d ever felt before, his body crumbling after days without sleep. His body ached from wounds he hadn’t couldn’t treat— the infirmary was crowded, too crowded to even see the ‘small’ gushing cut on his forearm that didn’t feel so small right now.
But he could take the physical pain. It was the gnawing fear that was the hardest to bear, creeping over him, curling around his ribs like a rope, tightening until it hurt to breathe.
Then, through the smoke and shadows, he saw you.
You were just a figure at first, standing a few yards away. You were cloaked in the same darkness that had swallowed up his world. As his eyes adjusted, he noticed that you didn’t quite belong.
You were almost radiant, the flickering light from the fire catching on something otherworldly in your gaze. Bullets flew past you, going through your being as if you were only made of smoke.
You were watching him, silent and still. Your expression was carefully neutral, a warmth in your eyes that cut through the cold surrounding him.
He blinked, half-believing you were just a figment of his exhaustion.
When he opened his eyes again, you were still there, a steady presence in the middle of the chaos. Bucky felt a strange sense of peace swallow him, like the world had gone silent in the space between his heartbeat and your gaze.
You didn’t say a word, but you didn’t need to. Just being there, in a place where everything was twisted and brutal and so fucking wrong, you felt like a sliver of peace in this nightmare that was wartime.
Something deep in his gut told him that he wasn’t meant to understand who, or rather what, you were. And yet, he felt safer at the mere presence of you. Before he could reach out to test if you were real, you were gone— slipping away into the dark like a ghost.
—
The next time he saw you was when he was half-dead, bleeding out in the snow after the fall from the train. The pain was more than unbearable, raw and sharp and insufferable. His nerves burned, radiating from every shattered bone, every freezing inch of his numb skin.
His vision blurred, the sky above flickering in and out of view as his mind faded in and out of consciousness. He wondered if this was going to be his death, a slow and dramatic fade to black he only ever saw in the movies Steve dragged him to.
Then he saw you again, standing in the snow.
The sight of you jolted him back to consciousness, just enough to cling to the edge of the living world. This time, there was no mistaking the look on your face— a look of concern.
For a moment, he thought you must be an angel coming to collect him.
You must be.
There you were, silently watching him with that same expression of warmth he’d seen in the trenches.
He struggled to sit up to get a better look at you, every little movement sent pain shooting through him. Finally, he slumped back to the snow in defeat, breathing hard.
“What are you doing here?” His voice was hoarse, nearly swallowed up by the howling wind.
The cold, harsh winter wasn’t a place for someone who looked as fragile as you, he thought.
You carefully took a step closer, as if unwilling to disturb him. There was a slight curve to your lips, something that could have been a smile but wasn’t quite, as you looked down at him. “I’m looking out for someone.”
He swallowed a strange lump in his throat, the sharp tang of fear and curiosity contrasting the cold bite of the freezing air. “Who?” His voice cracked, barely audible.
“You,” you said, your voice as quiet as a prayer.
It was such a simple answer, but it hit him like a wave. In the midst of all the pain, he suddenly felt relief.
The hurt eased, the cold stung a little less.
He didn’t know if you were a dream, a ghost, or something beyond his understanding. But at that moment, he didn’t care. All that mattered was that you were there, that you had come for him. That he wasn’t alone.
As his vision started to fade again and the darkness crept back, he realised you didn't leave any footprints in the snow.
—
Bucky didn’t know why you kept showing up.
Over the years, he felt your presence like his own shadow, drifting through the Hydra bases, the laboratories, the dark corners of the cell they kept him in between missions. The world around him was cold and sterile, a cage of steel where hope had no place, no right to exist.
Still, he saw you, quiet and watchful, a silhouette in the dim light.
He would catch glimpses of you while the scientists strapped him to machines, the hum of needles piercing his flesh. You were there, watching over him, as they shocked cold electricity through his veins. Each time, his eyes would land on you, and you’d watch him from the far corner of the room, with that same calm, steady gaze.
Everytime his eyes locked on yours, the pain eased, even if only a little.
It became easier to take the torture.
It became easier to find rest.
Over time, Hydra erased his memories.
Soon, he forgot his life. He forgot the people who used to love him, who grieved for him when he was lost.
But he had never forgotten you.
Maybe it was the first sign that you weren’t quite human.
One night, after a particularly brutal round of reprogramming, he saw you again, this time closer than ever before.
You stood by his bedside, where he lay in the dark, barely clinging to sanity. He blinked, pain searing in his throat. He tried to reach for you, fingers trembling, and felt nothing.
“Where did you come from?” he whispered, his voice rough and broken, as he felt that comfort once again.
The comfort he only had with you.
A soft smile touched your lips, something gentle and knowing. You were a light in the darkness of his fractured mind. “Far, far away from here.”
He closed his eyes, trying to etch your face to his memory, certain that if he did, he could take some small fragment of comfort back into the waking nightmare that was his brutal reality.
You knew, by the way his life was going, that you were going to see Bucky more and more.
It was the nature of your job, to look out for people like him.
After the next couple of visits, he started talking to you more and more— whenever he was left alone with his thoughts, whenever the pain or the hollow emptiness crept too close, he would search for you.
And you’d be there, listening to the murmured secrets he’d never told another soul.
He told himself you weren’t real, that he was just losing his grip on sanity, conjuring a kind face to stave off the horror. But that didn’t stop him from craving your presence.
—
Years later, he’d managed to break free of Hydra’s grip. He had carved out a life hiding in the far reaches of the world when he saw you again, as if you’d followed him through every corner of hell he’d tried to escape.
Romania was quiet, the kind of place where he could keep to himself. He had a run down studio apartment where the days blurred by and the silence was almost peaceful.
Yet in that solitude, you appeared again, lingering in the shadow of an alleyway, or standing just beyond his view on quiet, empty streets. He’d catch your gaze through crowds when he was most alone, and he’d feel an overwhelming sense of calm, an unexplainable rush he could only have with you.
It was on one of those quiet evenings, when he was washing dishes, that he saw you again, watching him from across the room. He stared, wiping his hands absently on the dish towel, still unsure if he was simply dreaming.
He called out in that soft voice of his, almost a whisper.
“Thank you for being here.” It was a simple admission, but it was true.
You tilted your head, that familiar gentleness in your eyes. “Always.” He replied.
The suffering he had recently was different— it wasnt physical as it usually was. It was an isolated sense of longing that broke the deepest parts of his heart, one that he couldn't quite heal himself.
Your warm and steady voice anchored him to the present. For the first time, he didn’t try to tell himself that you were a figment of his imagination. For just a moment, he let himself believe that you were standing there, real and alive, not just an invention of his lonely mind.
And even as you disappeared, slipping away into the shadows, the feeling of your presence lingered, filling the emptiness around him.
—
The last rays of Wakanda’s sun slipped over the treetops, bathing everything in a warm, honeyed light that somehow reached even into the white-walled lab where Bucky was preparing himself for a long, cold sleep.
He looked around, his gaze fixing on the distant horizon, the soft sounds of Shuri and the lab assistants moving in the background.
He could feel his heart pounding. He was terrified, the horror clawing into him, even though he knew that this was the right decision. He knew that it was the safest thing for him to do— to go back in the ice until his trigger words could be removed.
It didn't stop the instinctive dread of being shut away again, though.
And then he saw you, standing behind a desk. He didn’t know how you’d gotten there, or if anyone else could even see you.
But there you were, just as you’d been so many times before, giving him a piece of calm he didn't quite understand.
For a long moment, he said nothing. He only looked at you.
Somehow, you looked more real in this light, more human than he’d ever seen you before. Still, you had that hint of almost supernatural haze. He took a deep breath, feeling safer by the second, now that you were here.
“Will you be here when I wake up?” he asked, the words coming out like a whispered plea. He didn’t expect you to answer, not really.
His heart beat quicker as he waited, hoping you wouldn’t vanish as quickly this time.
You just smiled, that same soft, knowing smile you’d given him in the darkest hours of his life.
You nodded, “Only if you need me.”
The warmth of your words lingered in his mind as he took one last look at you. He felt the tension in his chest loosen, just enough to let him breathe again. He laid down, a feeling of peace settling over him.
He closed his eyes, holding the memory of you close, feeling the faint impression of your smile stay with him as he drifted into the dark.
—
The next time he saw you, it was in the middle of another waking nightmare—the battlefield of Wakanda, chaos erupting in every direction as the forces of Thanos closed in. Bucky was fighting on pure instinct, his body moving with an instinct he’d learned in war. He drew on more and more on his Hydra training and sheer luck.
After Thanos snapped, he saw you again. You were standing behind Steve, amongst the trees.
For the first time, your expression was not calm. You looked terrified. Your eyes, usually so steady, were wide, your face pale as you looked at him with a horror he’d never seen from you before.
Something inside him understood. He knew, even before the feeling swept over him—a strange tingling, a disintegration at the frayed edges of his body—that he was about to be turned to dust.
He tried to reach out, to touch you, to ask if he’d see you on the other side, but before he could say a word, he felt himself fade, slipping into nothingness, his best friend’s name the last thing he uttered.
—
When he returned—when the world pieced itself back together after five long years—he felt the dread of loneliness again.
You came, though it felt like you carried a deeper sadness in your gaze than before. It was as if you had… missed him.
When Steve left, when Bucky watched his best friend walk away, disappearing into a life they’d both only dreamed of, he felt the emptiness he had left in his wake.
He stood there, his hands shoved deep in his pockets, feeling a hollow emptiness settle inside him, knowing he’d lost something irreplaceable, something that could never be returned when Steve decided to live a life he always wanted.
Then he saw you again, just a few steps next to him. He almost didn’t dare to look, afraid that you’d vanish if he did. When he finally turned, there you were, as calm as you’d always been, watching him with that familiar warmth and understanding.
“You’re not alone,” you murmured, your voice so gentle it felt like a medicine to the sickness of his soul.
He swallowed hard, nodding as he looked down. He tried to keep his composure, though he failed.
He couldn’t bring himself to ask you who you truly were, if you truly knew the depth of what he’d lost, if you understood the kind of grief that was now carved so deeply inside him.
And you did. Grief was a human suffering, after all.
You stayed there, silent, a quiet witness to his pain as you offered a supernatural solace.
—
Over the years that followed, you'd show up when the loneliness clawed too deep, when the nightmares took hold or when the silence of his apartment was too much to bear on his own.
He started talking to you more than ever before.
When the silence weighed heavy on him, he’d glance into the shadows, almost expecting you to appear. And, as if by some unspoken agreement, you’d arrive just in time.
Yet, you never came too close. You stayed at a distance, as if you were made of something too fragile for this world. Bucky never minded, though. He had learned early on that pressing you for answers, for explanations, only ended with your departure. So he stopped asking them. He started accepting your presence as a gift he wasn’t meant to understand.
You were simply…there, steady and unchanging, offering comfort and warmth in a way no one else could.
He’d tell you things he wouldn’t dare tell anyone else—confessions that clawed up from the darkest corners of his mind, memories from the days he wished he could erase. You would listen, without judgement, without a flicker of fear or revulsion. Your presence only ever brought you peace.
In those quiet, lonely moments, he came to rely on you, to look for you in the shadows. You were a silent companion in his darkest hours. And though he never stopped wondering who you truly were, he let himself believe, if only a little, that he had someone, that you were real enough to him.
—
One night, after a long silence had fallen between you, he confessed something.
“You know,” he said, his voice thick with sorrow and exhaustion, “I don’t… I don’t think you’re real.” He tried to smile, but it was faint. It was hollow. “I think to you’re just… my mind is playing tricks on me. I think I needed someone so badly that I made you up.”
He was laying himself bare. Raw. Vulnerable.
He was almost afraid to look at you, afraid that if he did, you would disappear, proving his confession true. Then, he forced himself to meet your eyes, searching for any sign of reaction.
You didn’t flinch, didn’t deny it.
You only looked back at him with that same soft understanding.
“You’re just…” he murmured, trailing off. “You’re the most beautiful person I could imagine, someone I must have conjured to… to keep me from losing my mind.” He laughed bitterly, rubbing a hand over his face, not quite meeting your gaze. “Because no one like you would actually be here. Would actually want to be with someone as broken as me.”
He waited, his heart beating harshly. Part of him hoping you’d break the illusion, that you’d tell him he was wrong, that you were real.
Faint sadness flickered in your eyes. “Suffering has never broken you before,” you said, “It will not break you now.”
You didn’t confirm his fears, but you didn’t deny them either.
That quiet, ambiguous acceptance soothed him more than any promise could have.
He let the questions go, even though they lingered in the back of his mind.
He came to understand that perhaps it didn’t matter if you were real or not. He only needed you.
—
It was the dead of night, and Bucky was trembling.
He had woken up in cold sweat, the remnants of his nightmare gripping him like icy chains. He sat up, pressing his hands to his face, trying to push away the memories that refused to fade, the fractured images of a past that haunted him even in sleep. He swallowed, his voice rough, almost a whisper, as he murmured into the dark.
��Where are you?” he rasped, his voice thick with desperation. “Please, come back.” His heart pounded, his words barely a breath as he called for you, “Come back to me.”
He let his head fall into his hands, feeling so fucking foolish.
He should've known.
He should’ve known that after all this time, he was still calling for a ghost, for a figment of his imagination, for someone he’d conjured out of pure, pathetic loneliness.
As his breathing slowed, he felt something shift in the quiet corners of his room. A familiar warmth settled over him, gentle and comforting. He raised his head, and there you were, standing just a few feet away.
For a long moment, he simply stared, disbelief and wonder filling his stare. You looked more solid than he’d ever seen you before, as if reality had woven itself around you.
Light no longer passed through you. Your footsteps made thudding sounds on the ground. You tripped over a couple of the steps, as if learning how to walk with legs for the first time.
You moved closer towards him.
Seeing him so shaken, so desperately calling for you, had drawn you out in a way that felt irreversible. His cry was a pull too strong to resist.
Gently, you reached out, your fingertips brushing his cheeks, tracing the faint stubble along his jaw, the warmth of his skin grounding you in this physical form.
It was wrong for an immortal entity as ancient as you to take human form— you felt weaker, and your grasp on the unknown faltered. You knew, when you inevitably had to return to your ethereal form, that you would be exhausted. That it would hurt.
But after nearly a century of watching over James Buchanan Barnes, you had to know what his skin felt like.
His breath hitched at your touch. Slowly, his hands rose, trembling, to cover yours, pressing your palms to his face as if he was afraid you might disappear.
He blinked, eyes wide, searching your face. “You’re… real,” he breathed, his voice barely a whisper, an astonished relief flooding his eyes. “I can feel you.”
You nodded, letting your hands cradle his face, your thumbs softly brushing over his cheekbones. For a while, you stayed like that, letting his mind settle on the reality of you.
“Who… who are you?” His voice was filled with awe. His gaze locked onto yours, desperate for answers.
You took a steady breath— and it felt off, like you had to learn it.
You had never needed to breathe before. But now, you needed it as much as you needed him.
You knew that him knowing what you were wouldn’t hurt anyone.
“I am the Spirit of Suffering,” you said quietly, your voice as soft as the night around you. “I ease the pain of those who suffer, showing myself to those who need me most. For eons, I’ve been drawn to pain, to sorrow. But… I’ve never been drawn to someone like you.”
His brow furrowed, confusion mingling with a sense of awe as he processed your words. He searched your face, as if trying to reconcile the warmth of your touch with the truth.
“You’ve been watching over me?” he murmured, struggling to fully grasp the revelation.
You nodded, the truth spinning between you like a fragile thread. “Yes,” you admitted, your voice gentle, almost a whisper. “Every time you were in pain, it was my job to be there. The natural forces would not let me stop what happened to you, James, but I could keep you company, share the weight of your sorrow.”
He closed his eyes, his hands still covering yours. His grip on you tightened, trying to anchor himself to this moment. “So all those times I thought I was imagining you…”
“You weren’t,” you said softly, your gaze unwavering.
He took a shaky breath.
You sat on the bed next to him, feeling the softness of bedsheets for the first time in your eternal existence.
“I’ve never met anyone like you, James.” Your hand drifted down to cover his heart, feeling its steady beat beneath your palm. “In all the lifetimes I’ve witnessed, through all the suffering I’ve felt, I’ve seen people become monsters, lose themselves to pain and suffering. But you… you never let it consume you. No matter how much they took from you, no matter how much you suffered, there’s still kindness in you.” You smiled, a flicker of admiration in your gaze. “You were the first person to show me that suffering doesn’t have to destroy.”
Bucky’s throat tightened. He reached up, his fingers brushing a strand of your hair behind your ear.
His touch was fleeting, as if he still couldn’t believe you were real. He searched your face, seeing the depth of who you truly were. He saw your boundless compassion, the centuries, maybe millenia, of understanding that lingered in your gaze.
You had been more than a dream, more than a figment of his imagination.
“Thank you,” he whispered, his voice filled with a sincere gratitude, “for helping.”
As you looked at him, you realised just how much he needed you. And perhaps just how much you needed him.
—
Every night that he called for you, you’d be there for him, sacrificing your eternal strength just for a moment.
Just before the dawn’s first light, you’d pull away from Bucky’s life and disappear, dissolving back into the unknown.
You always lingered as long as you could, your human heart aching at the thought of leaving him alone again. But still, you slipped away, returning to your role as the silent companion of suffering, never able to stay beyond a few hours.
But Bucky kept calling for you.
Sometimes he’d wake from a nightmare, his voice rough with sleep and fear, calling you like a prayer, like you were the only thing anchoring him to this world. Sometimes he’d simply whisper into the dark, reaching out with an open hand, searching for your touch.
And each time, you answered. Despite the strain it placed on you, the unnatural weight of becoming flesh and blood for him, you would come back. You took on human form again and again, letting him feel the warmth of your hands. You told yourself that you could bear it, that his comfort was worth any mortal pain that your immortal spirit had to carry.
One night, in a moment of weakness, as you sat together on the edge of his bed, he looked at you with an intensity that made you feel as if your duties had disappeared.
The silence stretched, and you could see what his eyes carried. The tenderness, the gratitude, the fierce need for you. He lifted a hand, gently brushing his fingers along your cheek. The softness of his touch reverberated through your flesh and blood. You were suddenly made aware that you had a beating heart as it was pounding against your fragile ribcage.
Before you could process the feeling, he leaned in and kissed you.
It was gentle, soft as a whisper, but it set something inside you alight, a sensation you’d never known before.
You had seen humanity’s love from a distance, had watched the joy and heartbreak it could bring, but this… this was something beyond mere understanding. His lips were warm and real against yours, the taste of him grounding you in this fleeting human form in a way that felt both exhilarating and terrifying.
For a moment, you were frozen, feeling his heartbeat under your fingertips, the rhythm steady, grounding. And then, almost instinctively, you kissed him back. You leaned into him, feeling the depth of his sorrow and his hope in that single, shared breath.
Every inch of you felt alive, pulled into his gravity, the intensity of this moment overwhelming every human sense you didn't think you’d ever experience.
When he pulled back, his forehead rested against yours. “I’ve waited so long to feel this,” he murmured, his voice barely a whisper. “To feel you like this.”
You felt a swell of emotion like a lightning strike— something so unfamiliar and impossible to ignore. You were a spirit who had known only of pain and how to relieve it, who had wandered the world in search of suffering to ease, yet this—this was something else entirely. This was desire, love—all foreign feelings that made you want to stay, to linger in his arms a little longer.
But dawn was coming, as it always did. Despite the ache in your chest, you knew you had to go. The world was waiting; and others needed you, too.
With one last touch, your fingers brushing along his cheek, memorising the feeling of his skin.
You slipped away, dissolving back into the unseen, feeling his absence as if it were a physical wound.
—
It became a brutal cycle.
Every morning you would go, and every other night, when he called, you returned. Each time, the kiss lingered in your memory, the softness of his lips, the rush of your pulse, the racing of a heart that should not be yours to feel. It left you longing, yearning, pulling you back to him over and over, until every time you left felt like you were tearing yourself apart.
And though you slipped away at dawn, leaving Bucky alone with the shadows, you knew that a part of you stayed, lingering there beside him, just waiting for night to fall again so you could return to him.
One night, Bucky reached for you. His touch was gentle and filled with a hunger that was new to you.
Tonight, he had a human desire for you that you had only observed in passing. His fingers entwined with yours, rough and warm, pulling you closer with a care that sent a strange warmth rushing through you. You sensed a gravity between you, one that seemed to draw every part of your physical form into his orbit, a sensation you never could have understood in your ethereal form.
As he guided you towards his bed, his gaze stayed on yours, searching and vulnerable, as though asking for permission. You felt a flicker of understanding in his silence, a human fragility and need that made your heart—this temporary, fragile, human heart—beat a little faster.
You nodded.
When he leaned in to kiss you, the sensation was breathtaking, as it always was.
That night, he showed you the depths of human pleasure, the way mortal love could break open walls so high so intensely that the shockwave that came after felt endless. Every caress of his hands, every whisper against your skin, seared into you like a brand.
Bucky gave you something new, grounding you in sensations you didn’t know were possible. In his arms, your physical senses were overwhelmed by the beauty and ache of human desire.
With each touch, each shared breath, he showed you parts of himself he had never shown anyone in a long, long time.
And as he moved with you, every boundary between the known and unknown seemed to dissolve, leaving only the two of you, bound in a shared, silent understanding that felt more ethereal than anything you’ve ever encountered.
When it was over, he held you close, his fingers tracing soft, slow patterns across your skin.
“I love you,” he murmured, his voice filled with wonder— it was the truth. His eyes met yours, laying his heart bare for you to do whatever you pleased with it. To cherish or to break, he really didn’t care, as long as you were the one holding onto it. “I don’t know how it’s possible, but I do.”
In those words, you finally understood humanity’s deepest, truest suffering—the need to love and be loved.
For eons, you had only known suffering, solitude. The burden of easing pain without truly being seen, without knowing love in its purest form. But with Bucky, it was different.
“I love you too, James,” you whispered. It was a confession, as much a promise as it was a revelation. And you meant it. You felt a love that was boundless, stretching far beyond what this temporary human form of yours could contain.
Days passed, and each night, he would pull you close, his touch tender, his words gentle. His love was a constant that anchored you in this fragile, borrowed form. But each morning, as the first light crept over the horizon, you would pull yourself away, fading back into the shadows.
Every time you left, you saw the ache in his eyes, a silent plea that grew more desperate with each parting.
—
One night, after holding you in silence, you felt Bucky suffered more than he ever did before.
You felt the sorrow, and even you couldn't calm him down from this desperate longing that had fragmented his heart into a million pieces— it was knowledge that you couldn’t truly be his and that he couldn’t truly be yours that had caused this pain. It was knowing that, as long as you were immortal, you couldn’t possibly belong to a mortal man.
“Please stay,” he whispered, his hands shaking as they held you. “Don’t go. I can’t… I can’t keep saying goodbye. I don’t want to only see you in fragments of stolen time.” He squeezed you. His eyes were filled with a raw, desperate longing. “I want you here— with me. Always.”
You reached out, placing a hand on his cheek. You wanted to say yes, to let yourself stay, to finally surrender to this love and the peace it offered. But you knew better than anyone of your nature. You were bound to the suffering of others, woven into the fabric of pain that had defined you for a long, long time.
“I can’t,” you whispered, your voice barely audible, the words breaking as you forced them out. “I want to, more than anything. But I… I’m not meant to stay. There are others who need me.”
A flash of pain crossed his face, and he closed his eyes, trying to swallow the heartache that threatened to bury him. He nodded, though you could see struggle that lingered in the lines on his face.
“Just stay a little longer tonight,” he murmured, his voice tight, a bittersweet smile forming on his lips.
And so you held him a little longer, feeling the fragility of this human connection, the knowing that you would have to let him go. You stayed with him until the stars faded from the sky, until the dawn began to creep over the horizon. And as you finally pulled away, slipping back into the shadows, you felt a piece of yourself break, a piece that would always belong to him, no matter how far you wandered.
—
One day, as Bucky’s heart prepared to stop beating, you stood by him, devastated.
You were there as a phantom, feeling his soul slip through your fingers as he lay on the concrete after a mission gone wrong. He was unconscious, his life hanging by a thread as he fought to come back from the edge. In all the centuries of comforting humanity, you had never felt such fear, such desperation.
While you watched him, fragile and fading away, you felt something shatter deep within you.
His breath was shallow— his fate uncertain. He would only have minutes to live.
But you couldn’t lose him.
So you made a choice that you had once thought impossible.
With a heavy heart, you turned and sought out the one being who held the power to intervene: Rio Vidal, Death herself.
Death came to you quietly when you summoned her to the darkness neither of you occupied. She moved with an eternal calm, her presence as vast and ancient as the stars. She looked at you, her dark eyes filled with the weight of ages that rivalled your own. Her stare was neither evil nor kind.
You knew that she'd already understood why you called for her.
“Don’t take him,” you whispered, your voice breaking. “Not now.” You were pathetic, desperation rising in frantically— a desperation that followed you into your ethereal form, an ache that you hadn’t known could exist in your immortal heart. “For the first time, I’ve found someone… someone I love. I can’t lose him.”
Rio regarded you quietly, her expression unreadable. She had seen countless souls come and go. She had met lovers, warriors, and spirits alike, each bargaining for one more breath, one more chance. But she had also never seen you — Suffering herself— here, pleading for a life. You, who had roamed the earth for centuries without attachment, a solitary being who moved through suffering like water, soothing but never bound.
To see you now, so deeply connected, intrigued her.
Perhaps, she gave you a chance because she once felt this way, too.
“What would you give?” she asked softly, sheathing back her blade.
The answer rose in you, going again your own soul’s warning.
“I’d give my immortality,” you replied without a second thought. “One day, you can take my soul, too. Just let me live beside him for as long as he has. Let me trade eternity for a single lifetime with him.”
Rio was silent for a long time, her gaze thoughtful, searching.
“Do you understand what you’re offering?” she asked, her voice a blend of curiosity and pity. “To become mortal is to surrender everything you have known—the ability to exist beyond pain and beyond time itself. You would feel suffering as they do, you would face the limitations of flesh as they do.”
"I’m sure.” you nodded with nothing but conviction, “I would rather face an end, rather give up everything, than live without him for a single moment."
Rio studied you one last time, her stare as vast as the void between stars. Then, slowly, she inclined her head, a flicker of respect in her eyes.
"When he is gone, I will come for you, too." Her voice softened just a little. "Cherish this life. It is not easily won."
When she vanished, you felt the world shift around you, felt your soul ground itself in ways it never had before. Your body solidified, your senses sharpened, and you felt, for the first time, the steady permanent rhythm of a heartbeat pulsing within your chest.
You were no longer the Spirit of Suffering, bound to pain and sorrow. You, now permanently, were flesh and blood– human in every sense.
And for the first time in forever, you felt real— mortal, permanently.
—
Bucky was recovering, weak but alive.
When you knocked on his door, he opened it, his eyes widening in surprise as he saw you standing there, no longer a fleeting vision that appeared in his room.
You walked all the way here, your barefoot aching from the harshness of the concrete.
You were solid, as real as he was, standing on his doorstep with tears in your eyes.
He had never seen you cry before. He wasn't even sure if you could.
"You're… you’re here," he whispered, reaching out as if to touch you, to be certain that you were truly there. His fingers brushed your cheek, feeling the warmth of your skin, and his hand lingered there, his thumb tracing along your cheekbone as if committing this moment to memory. “You feel different,” he murmured, awe in his voice.
“I’m here to stay,” you said, voice brimming with love you could barely contain, your own hand lifting to cover his.
He let out a shaky breath, and his eyes searched yours, filling with a warmth and disbelief so deep that it mirrored your own. He pulled you into his arms, holding you as though afraid you might vanish again.
But you didn’t.
You were here, bathed in sunlight, and real.
You melted into his embrace, feeling the thrumming of his veins against yours, knowing that, finally, your heart would beat alongside his for as long as time allowed.
-end
I would love to explore this further! Maybe Bucky helps you find a name, maybe even pulls some strings to give you a fake birth certificate and ID. Maybe he realises that time is fleeting and has a courthouse wedding with you ASAP.
Maybe Bucky introduces you to Sam as his wife, and he realises that he’s seen you before, when Riley got shot out of the sky.
Maybe Bucky introduces you to the Thunderbolts* as his wife, and they all would have seen you before, at some point in their life:
Yelena would have seen you when she stood over Nat’s memorial.
Alexei would have seen you when he got separated from his girls for the first time.
John would’ve seen you when he killed that flag smasher with Cap’s shield, grieving Lemar.
Ava would have seen you when she was a kid, phasing out in and out uncontrollably in extreme pain.
Antonia would’ve seen you when the bomb blew on her face.
Or maybe I could explore more of how it affects you. How you now have human guilt to live with, knowing there’s no one out there anymore easing human suffering. Now, you also have to deal with your own human suffering.
Maybe people keep recognising you, keep pointing you out as if they’ve seen a ghost because you once came to them in a time of need.
Maybe you keep your powers? Maybe I should explore how those powers would manifest in a human body?
Anyway, let me know if you’re interested in any of these ideas and I might write them!
#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes imagine#bucky barnes fluff#bucky barnes#bucky x reader#bucky x you#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes x you#james buchanan barnes#marvel fanfiction#bucky barnes fanfic#james bucky barnes#bucky barnes angst#bucky barnes x reader fluff#bucky barnes x female reader#bucky barnes one shot#bucky barnes x reader angst#the winter soldier#winter soldier#catws#fatws#marvel thunderbolts#thunderbolts#bucky barnes comfort#bucky barnes hurt/comfort#bucky barnes x y/n#sebastian stan#sebastian stan x reader#sebastian stan imagine#marvel fanfic
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"You couldn't have," he acknowledged for her wanting to tell him the truth in the ward, he would never have believed her and wouldn't have comprehended it in the first place. At least now he knew albeit so many years later. "I know," he tried to reassure her, just that he understood why she had not given her real name and why it was she had lied to him. "It's ok," he attempted as reassurance again.
"I don't think it was possible to not be in trouble there." He commented but yes, yes they had been in far more trouble than they had ever needed to be if they had just sat down and drew pictures all day. "I'm sorry you saw that." Truly, he would have never thought she would end up there, that it was impossible for her to be there. "That you wound up being sent there," fresh tears formed in his eyes and his breath caught in his throat. "I had hoped you were in a different timeline, that somehow it was better."
Remembering what he had been through only made him worry for Violet more. He knew she had been beaten, shocked, sedated and restrained. He hoped that the patients had stayed away from her and that the orderlies didn't take a particular interest in tormenting her. "How's your arm? And your side? Your mom said there's more bruising but is that from the office incident?"
𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐎 & 𝐕𝐈𝐎𝐋𝐄𝐓 @multipleoccupancy
"I'm sorry," she whispered, "I'm sorry I had to lie to you. I wish I could have told you the truth but..." He would have never believed her then! Still, she felt so terribly sad that he had felt such guilt for leaving her behind in the ward. In truth, Violet had feared for a moment that the Horned One was going to leave her there, in the ward. He was not above doing something so wicked. But she kept that fear to herself. In the end, He had brought her back home.
"I couldn't tell you that I didn't belong there, that my name wasn't even Mauve..."
She hugged her dad back. The painkillers were wearing off, and her arm was starting to ache, but she paid it no mind. New tears welled up in her eyes. She had hoped that she could have been there for her dad, when he was all alone in the ward. As it turned out, she had been there for him. What an incredible turn of events.
"I'm really happy I helped you a little bit," she croaked with a teary smile. It was all she wanted. "Even if I got you in a lot of trouble, too." A sniffling chuckle left her lips at that last comment.
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Name: Bloomp
Debut: Super Mario Bros. Wonder
Bloomp should be proud. It's part of a very special club: the club of Mario enemies whose English names are goofy onomatopoeia relating to their behavior! It is not a very exclusive club, but its members take themselves very seriously. I'm just kidding! They're a bunch of goofballs! Sorry, Bloomp, but I could not take you seriously if I tried. Good thing you exist only in the context of a whimsical scrimblo platformer!
Bloomp is, conceptually, very straightforward. A literal balloonfish. It's nothing new. But must it be something new? Must it be groundbreaking? It mustn't. All it needs to do is be Funny. and Boy Howdy, It's Funny! I look at the expression it's always making, and I think, yeah. It WOULD make that face.
But do not let their soft, harmless bodies and silly demeanors fool you! Bloomps are Enemies. Bonafide Bad Guys. You can tell by looking at the air pumps that inflate and launch them. They have skulls on them, just like Bill Blasters! Bowser did this on purpose. He made the express decision to deploy balloon fish here when he had no reason not to use straight-up bullets. It's about the pizzazz!
Of course, anything inflatable must start out tiny, and tiny Bloomps are the very definition of "piddling". This animal does not know how to do anything besides piddle. If it tries to dispute that, don't believe it. It's full of hot air!
It is obvious that the Balloon transformation would appear in a stage centered around these balloon animals, but to me, it's a bit more interesting than that. Other Wonder Effects transform the player into an enemy, or grant them properties of the stage's main enemy. This is basically doing the same for Bloomps, but the Balloon form has existed since Super Mario World. It's like this is retroactively framing Balloon Mario as a Bloomp ability!
Anyway, the Wonder Effect also has these gray Bloomps, who are... my word! They're tied in place! Is this good for them? It does mean they won't run out of air. Maybe this is how they rest? It's not too far-fetched, considering real hagfish can tie their bodies in knots. And they're full of confetti and goodies! The Bloomps, not the hagfish. Hagfish are full of slime, and no confetti. That's a good thing! I don't want any animals to contain confetti.
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As someone who knows nothing about those 2 states, why does Wyoming work better than Minnesota
in general:
Wyoming has 1/10th the population of Minnesota, meaning if someone goes "think about it, have you ever met anyone from [state]?" you're much more likely to go "oh man... I don't" to Wyoming
there's already an IRL joke conspiracy claiming Wyoming Isn't Real (google it)
Minnesota has stuff in it people know about. The Twin Cities. The Mall of America. 10,000 lakes. An accent people make fun of. A hockey team. Paul Bunyan. This is deliberately underselling the cultural contributions of Minnesota, this is just a list of things that people who don't know shit about Minnesota have still probably heard about. Wyoming... doesn't have much. Harder to prove it's real.
For my personal fic writing reasons, because I'm gonna have to rewrite these jokes and I don't wanna:
Stan can say "Wyoming does too exist, I'm banned from Wyoming" and Bill can say "you were banned from Wyoming without ever setting foot in the state. Isn't that suspicious? What are they hiding from you?" This IS true based on the map of Stan's travels and banned states; it's not true of Minnesota.
Ford can say "Wyoming does too exist, I drove through Wyoming when I moved to Gravity Falls" and Bill can say "no, you drove through a stretch of Utah and Colorado your roadmap labeled as Wyoming. Did you stop and do anything in the state??" Ford probably wouldn't have passed through Minnesota on his way to Oregon.
Wyoming's biggest airport is in a state park, is literally named Jackson Hole, and carries less than half a million people a year. (In contrast, La Guardia Airport in NYC carries more people in under 2 weeks.) They can try to say "look Wyoming has an airport, you can buy tickets, Wyoming's real" and Bill can say "no one ACTUALLY wants to go to Wyoming, the airport's actually in South Dakota and no one notices because they only stop there for connecting flights to other places." Can't say that about Minnesota, it's got an international airport in an actual city.
one thing Wyoming IS known for is cowboys. Bill can be forced to watch Grandpa The Kid as proof that Wyoming exists and then he can retort "Hollywood made up Wyoming."
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The responder to the TERF is absolutely correct.
Human or any kind of animal body interaction at all is based on environmental interaction. They come and go together. Fixating on the body is the same thing as fixating on the ego, since the body only exists in the mind. All ideals of the body that is. The material properties themselves are shared with the environment.
Basic atomic theory should really tell these TERFS this. So I can only imagine the reason why they still insist they’re right is because they don’t want to learn even high school levels of science - let alone anything more complicated than that. However biology and physiology alongside the external environment and its physics is still something we do not fully understand to this day.
The body itself does not actually exist beyond the cells that make up what it is, - but that gets completely replaced with what’s around it every 7 years or so.
So technically… We’re all trans if we looked at it that way as a collective consciousness. It’s only our ideals of gender that are remembered and recollected by the mind that makes us think that we can’t change bio sex.
Of course we can. We do it more often than we realize.
We just don’t assign a gender identity to it.
We simply just get on with our lives without ever paying attention to what cells (atoms) have been replaced with the cells of something else that’s in the environment.
But you try explaining that to a TERF and they’ll think you’ve gone mad. Not madness, friend. Just education.
Try it sometime.
But yes, biological sex is not inherent in a human simply because it was never a permanence in the first place
What we are we share with what everything else is - which has to have a specific name or “identity” to it.
That’s a lot of identities. I’m someone that has never believed that the external and the internal are real existing phenomena on their own. That is, separated.
It’s never made any sense to me to believe that way considering we are made up of the exact same stuff as what everything else in the Universe is made up of and we consume that of the exact same stuff as that does.
To believe that the world or Universe exists separately from the animal that questions it is just insanity to me.
If that were really the way things worked, we’d all be standing on our heads because there’d be no space.
If everybody in this world understood the innate relationship between themselves and the environment there’d be none of this TERF shit being perpetuated by faux scientific or spiritual intellectualism. They’d simply just accept that anyone can change their biological sex because gender and “identity” in itself doesn’t exist.
It is nothing but fixated ideals and ideas. Concepts. We cling to concepts as if the brain was a mechanical thing.
Or as if everything was mechanical or technological
It’s mad to me that a lot of TERF ideology comes from religionists when they’re the ones that don’t want to think of the world mechanically. They go against their own ideology just because they’re not educated on science enough. If they were, they’d realize just how much their own spiritualistic understanding is correct.
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proving how respectful Warriors (2024) is with MATH
american street gangs are one of the most lied about groups of people in this country. we have, essentially, copies of the same law in many cases: carjacking minimum penalty is 3 years in state prison, but if a prosecutor can argue it's a gang-related carjacking, it's 18 years in state prison to life. and gangs are super vaguely defined in the law, so in practice it's a shortcut to get poorer, darker-skinned folk punished more for the same crime. our tax dollars are funding a million cop shows telling us how scared we should all be of gangs. in classic outgroup propaganda, they are always simultaneously primal, uneducated kids who don't know what they're doing and also conniving, hierarchical masterminds conspiring against us.
in reality, they're community-based organizations of the people who stepped up when the neighborhood's law enforcement stopped settling the small disputes and started creating big ones. as with many large powers, they're often mismanaged and misogynistic and very territorial (though there's a case to be made about how those problems are all sustained by the cops), but fundamentally they're human beings taking care of each other, feeding and clothing each other, holding each other accountable, paying for their kids' educations, and being family. and we can all agree on those things. it's just the word "gang" that's been soured. to be clear, it's a lot less soured for the people still living gang life than the types of folk who might buy an album cowritten by the Hamilton guy. the album wants us to care about these kids' struggle without us bringing preconceived baggage to their table. so here's what it does about that.
when you summarize to your friend what Warriors is about, you use that word. gang. it's kinda the whole premise. but how much do they say that word? pop quiz, without scrolling down, can you name a single instance of the word "gang" appearing in Warriors? there aren't zero, but there aren't many. really, try.
they say "crew"! 19 times in fact. and crowd, 5 times. and team (2) and turf (14) and i read corner (24) as a recurring motif for loyalty. West Side Story isn't even really about gangs, has a lot less words, and has gang 11 times. gangs are the basis of the plot of Warriors, but it's not what it's about. consider, for reference, that truce appears 9 times and crew 19 and beautiful 16. esperanza 6 and quiet 15. alive has a grand total of 45. and train? 58.
time's up, here's the answers: "every fly by night gang who wants to see the shore", "one big happy gang gang gang", "if some other gang gets the drop", "so now this chick's in the gang like?", "you're the baddest gang in the city, it's true", "every gang in the city wants to kill us"
let's dig in. it's just eight in the whole thing, and half of them are from a single Luther song. there's so many words in this thing total. and 8 is less than 9, the number of featured gangs including the cops. almost all of the invocations are referring to other people, derogatorily at that. the exception is Ajax being kinda facetious. 5 of them are essentially about hypothetical groups. 1 is the nypd. it's possible when you were mentally scanning the lyrics for "gang" you did what i did when i first realized this and thought for places someone might be trying to say "we're a big bad gang" but that never happens. cause Lin and Eisa write them like real people and use our preconceptions responsibly. and sometimes what that means is writing about a thing without using the most common name it's been given.
and bwawwk! what about bwawwk!? 28.
#people always asking me do any of your posts do numbers? and hoho well you could say that#warriors album#warriors concept album#warriors musical#analyzing the themes#note i'm including tren as train and bkwawwk as bwawwk otherwise feel free to check my work i'm a liberal arts kid and did this all by hand
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Birthdays
Dicks starts a tradition, for every first birthday one of his loved ones spends with him, he gives them a part of his heart.
Jason: Dick isn't there for Jasons first birthday at the manor because well... he isn't exactly welcome at the manor but he snuck Jason his number weeks in advance to make sure Jay would be at his crappy apartment the day after his birthday. And he gives Jason a collection of poetry his mother had written while they had traveled around the world. He had memorised all of them many years ago but he wanted to give Jason something tangible to connect them together. He might not be related to Bruce, he might not be Jason's brother by law or blood but Jason carries the robin name and Mary Graysons words so he is Dick's brother no matter what Bruce wants to say about it. Some of the poems aren't in English but they all flow beautifully and are written in the same black swirling script. Jason cries real tears and clings to Dick because this isn't something he can say he's had before. When Jason died, Dick took it from Jays room because he didn't allow it to be part of a mausoleum for his brother he wasn't going to let it be part of one for his brother.
After Jason comes back to life, and he's left Gotham he finds that familiar notebook in a safe-house he was sure Nightwing didn't know about with a post-it note on top reading.
I'm so glad you're back little wing
-DG
Tim: Dick and Alfred celebrate Tims birthday alone and Dick knows that Tim is struggling with who he is and his place in the family. Jason needed connection Tim needed purpose. Tim needed something to do to prove his value so on Tim's 13th birthday Dick teaches him the quadruple summersault. he teaches Tim the Full-Twisting Shaposhnikova his mother's favourite move on the bars and the moors. They spend all day practicing together until Tim can do a loose approximation of as many of his parent's signature moves as they can squeeze into one day. And every time Dick sees Tim for the next two months he asks for a spotter and they spend two odd hours practicing the moves. Tim never ends up incorporating the Flying Grayson's moves into his fighting style but he starts to follow Dicks habit of getting up high when he's stressed and working out all his frustration by practicing those moves over and over again until his body is pleasantly sore. Sometimes when Dick is on undercover missions, Tim will do one of the routines to help with the fact he cant reach his brother.
Damian: canonically Dick gave Damian a trapeze bar but that was long into his Robin tenure I believe it was after the Lazarus island debacle. So I think that by the. time Damians 11th birthdays rolls around, Dick and Damian have a pretty solid relationship and the first thing Dick would have given Damian was his father's unfinished sketchbook which contained the original designs for the robin costume. This book is Thick and its not like a modern sketchbook no, John Grayson found this leather bound monstrosity in Egypt and paid pennies for it. Its so dense that its filled with about 3 years of drawings and still has more the half of its pages a yellowed blank canvas. Damian, who is naturally talented at art and was encouraged by Dick to try and find non-vigilante methods of enjoyment has already taken up drawing months prior but this gets him to start practicing with fervour. He tries hard to mimic John Grayson's art style before eventually giving up at trying to create identical pieces and just incorporates various techniques the man used. For Dicks birthday that year he gifts him a portrait of his late parents but unlike the ones he's made for the manor, Dick's parents are in motion, with his John Grayson's grin stolen right off his sons face and Mary Grayson's boisterous laugh as she crashed into her husbands side could be heard in the famous cackle of her son.
now I wanted to do Cass or Steph or (maybe even Babs or Kori if I wanted to pivot from family to romance) but I genuinely the girl who has Mary Graysons wedding ring would
Donna Troy: Dick Gave it to her when they were still wonder girl and boy wonder. They were 14 and it was right after they had started the titans, back when it was a kids club more than a hero organisation. It was accompanied with a whispered confession of his identity, an identity the rest of their team wouldn't learn for another to 2 years. She wears it around her neck with a simple gold chain. She didn't take it off during her wedding or funeral, she was buried in it and came back with its barely there weight a comfort against base of her neck.
#nightwing#batman#jason todd#tim drake#robin#batfam#comics#damian wayne#dick grayson#donna troy#Dick and donna troy are my beloveds someone give me fic recs#dc comics#dc universe#dcu
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Open Arms Chapter One
steve harrington x fem!reader word count : 6k Rewrite/Character Insert of Stranger Things ~1984~ This chapter takes place during Season 2 Episodes 1-5
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Another day in Hawkins. Another day of high school. Another day stuck in the same small, sleepy town you’ve known for as long as you can remember. It feels like nothing ever changes here, like every day just blurs into the next, predictable and quiet.
Every day, you wake up wishing for some kind of miracle, something that could shake things up, make life a little less ordinary. Something that could turn your world… Upside Down.
“Y/N!” your mom calls out from the kitchen, “Is Steve giving you a ride today?”
You scoff, rolling your eyes. “Mom, seriously…when was the last time Steve drove me to school? He has a girlfriend to pick up now.”
Steve, your best friend since the first grade. To everyone else he was The Reigning King of Hawkins High. To you he was just the boy next door who reigns havoc on your life, makes everything a little more complicated whether you want it or not.
Your mom hums thoughtfully. “Maybe it’s time you found yourself a boyfriend.”
“I’m perfectly fine, thanks.”
She gives a little shrug. “I’m just saying, wouldn’t it be nice to be taken out on a date once in a while?”
“Mom,” you sigh, “please take your matchmaking somewhere else.”
She’s not wrong, though. You haven’t let yourself even think about dating anyone else since the last “almost” with Steve. Around a year ago, he’d done something reckless enough to mess up things with Nancy, and she seemed to be getting closer to Jonathan Byers. You had just gotten out of a relationship yourself.
It happens every time: he messes things up with a girl, or you’re fresh out of a breakup, and suddenly, like clockwork, you’re back in each other’s lives, circling each other. It’s as if you’re both bound to this endless cycle of almosts—falling together just to fall apart again. You know the game by heart, and you’re tired of it, tired of the late nights that never lead to anything real, the unspoken words that hang heavy in the air between you both. But still, you can’t seem to let go.
Nothing ever actually happens. You just end up crashing at each other’s houses, watching movies till you both fall asleep, or driving out to Lover’s Lake to stargaze and rant about your trainwreck love lives. But you both know what it is—and what it isn’t. The truth is, you’re bound by a history no one else could touch. Growing up together, you made the stupid decision of being a lot of each other’s firsts, and you’ve always been the one person who truly gets him. It’s a bond that runs deeper than most things in your life, yet it never seems to go anywhere beyond these stolen moments. And maybe that’s why it hurts the most—knowing he’s always right there but never fully yours.
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At school, you overhear the girls in the hallway whispering about the new guy in town. Though “guy” isn’t the word they use—they’re calling him a real man, with a muscle car to match and actual muscles to back it up. You’ve never been the type to shy away from guys, and you’ve certainly never had any trouble attracting attention. Still, something about the way they talk about him piques your curiosity, though you’d never admit it.
You notice the once-empty locker beside yours is finally in use, a few things tossed inside. You wonder briefly who claimed it. That curiosity doesn’t last long.
“Excuse me, gorgeous, but I think that’s my locker.”
You turn to find the living, breathing embodiment of the girls’ descriptions. Tall, sharp-jawed, with piercing blue eyes, and that effortless, cocky grin. You don’t even have to ask if it’s him.
“Oh—my bad,” you say, stepping aside.
“And what’s your name?” he asks, his smile unwavering.
Who does he remind you of?
“Y/N…” You try to pinpoint it, that nagging sense of familiarity.
He tosses his keys into the locker, eyes still fixed on yours, something almost playful in his gaze.
Then it hits you.
“I’m—”
“Knight Rider?” you say slyly, a smirk playing at your lips. He blushes just a little, caught off guard, and you savor the small victory.
“Well played,” he says, taking your hand into his for a confident but gentle shake.
“That’s just the beginning,” you respond, shutting your locker with a quiet click, eager to keep the mystery between you two alive.
“I hope so. I’m Billy by the way,” he replies, his voice softer now, still slightly in awe of you. There’s something in his eyes—a challenge. And you can tell, he’s baited.
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At lunch, you find yourself walking through the crowded cafeteria, scanning the room for a familiar face. As luck would have it, you bump into Nancy and Steve near the food line.
“Hey,” Steve greets, his voice laced with a hint of curiosity. “What did you think of the new guy? Total douche, right?”
You catch the look on his face, a mix of hope and something else you can’t quite place. It’s clear he’s fishing for your opinion, eager for you to agree with him.
You shrug, trying to keep your tone casual, though you can’t hide the small smirk tugging at your lips. “I mean…” Your voice comes out just a bit higher than usual, betraying your uncertainty. “He’s like the entire cast of The Outsiders wrapped up in one package.” You leave it at that, the playful jab hanging in the air between you three.
Nancy chuckles, gripping her tray closely as she looks between you and Steve. You take the opportunity to point at her, nodding toward Steve. “Looks like your girl might agree with me too.”
Nancy gasps and bursts into laughter. “I don’t know, I guess. He’s not really my type though.”
You smirk, not missing a beat. “That’s so funny, because I’m pretty sure I saw a David Hasselhoff photo in your locker just last week?”
Steve’s face falls slightly, and you catch the brief flash of disappointment in his eyes. “Oh please,” he says, his tone a bit too defensive, “he is not David Hasselhoff.”
“Knight Rider,” Nancy interjects, her eyes darting between you and Steve. You both freeze, caught off guard.
“What?” You ask, happy she sees the resemblance too.
Nancy looks back and forth between you two, realization dawning on her. “He has the car, the curls, and the mus—muscle car.”
You raise an eyebrow, teasing her. “You just said the car twice. Sure you didn’t mean another kind of muscle?”
Nancy giggles at your comment, but Steve pushes you playfully, though there’s a layer of something more in his touch—like he’s trying to keep things light but it doesn’t quite feel like it used to.
“Have I told you that I hate you?” Steve mutters under his breath, though it’s more playful than anything else.
You smile, your tone laced with the usual teasing. “All too often.”
But as you both lock eyes, something shifts. It’s not just a playful exchange anymore. The usual banter feels heavy now, the space between you both thick with unspoken words. Steve’s smile doesn’t quite reach his eyes, and you wonder if he’s feeling the same distance creeping between you two that you’ve been trying so hard to ignore. You quickly look away, forcing the feeling down as Nancy continues to laugh, unaware of the sudden tension lingering.
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You’re walking down the hall, a few steps ahead of Steve, the sounds of lockers slamming and voices all around you fading as the tension between you both hangs in the air. Every time you glance over your shoulder, his gaze is already on you—lingering, just a bit too long.
You both fall into an uneasy silence. It’s not the comfortable quiet you used to share, but something heavier. Something unspoken.
You stop for a moment, unsure of what to say. “I’ll see you in class,” you murmur, turning to leave.
But Steve’s voice stops you. “Hey,” he calls softly, his hand brushing yours as he steps into your path. His touch is warm, too warm for something so casual. His fingers linger for a split second before he pulls away, but the moment still sits between you, unresolved.
You look up, meeting his eyes. His usual cocky confidence is gone, replaced by something more vulnerable. It’s almost as if he’s waiting for you to say something, anything to break the silence.
“Steve…” You don’t know what you’re going to say. You want to say something that makes it all feel normal again, but the words feel stuck in your throat.
He opens his mouth, hesitates, then shuts it again. “Never mind.” The smile he forces doesn’t reach his eyes again. It’s strained, tight. And suddenly, you can’t look at him anymore.
Turning quickly, you walk past him, your heartbeat pounding in your ears.
From down the hall, Nancy watches the exchange, arms folded, leaning against the locker as she observes. There’s no jealousy in her gaze—she’s been there too. She knows the space between two people who care for each other but don’t know how to bridge it. She’s seen it with Jonathan, with the way they get tangled in unspoken words and moments that feel like too much, but too little at the same time. It’s just the way things go sometimes.
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*Flashback*
1 year ago
It’s a Friday afternoon, and the hallways of Hawkins High are quieter than usual. Most of the students have gone home, leaving the echoes of footsteps and lockers slamming shut. You and Steve are walking side by side, the familiar warmth of his presence at your side like it always has been—comforting, easy.
You laugh as Steve pulls an exaggerated face, trying to get you to laugh at his antics as he mimics one of the teachers. You roll your eyes, but you can’t help the smile spreading across your face.
“You’re such an idiot,” you tease, nudging him with your shoulder.
He bumps you back, almost knocking you into the lockers. “You love me for it,” he smirks, and there’s a hint of something else in his gaze, something unspoken that lingers between you, like a question neither of you has the courage to ask.
You roll your eyes again, but there’s no denying the way your heart skips. “Yeah, maybe,” you say, trying to brush it off. But you both know that maybe means something more.
You reach the end of the hallway, your steps slowing as the moment stretches, neither of you wanting to be the first to turn back, to end this rare, quiet time between just the two of you.
He glances over at you, his steps slowing, his voice quieter when he speaks again. “Hey, so… Bryan still around?”
You stop walking, surprised by the question, but it’s Steve, and it’s always been easy with him. “No,” you reply, shaking your head. “He’s out of the picture.”
Steve’s expression softens, a slight smile playing on his lips as if the weight of something between you two has been lifted. “Good. He never really seemed like the right guy for you.”
Your breath catches slightly at the unexpected warmth in his words, but you don’t let it show. “Yeah, well… sometimes you don’t really see things until it’s too late.”
Steve nods, looking down for a moment as if he’s trying to decide something. He looks back up at you, his usual carefree grin returning. “Well, if you’re not busy tonight, you wanna come over to my place? We can grab some takeout, watch movies… you know, normal hangout stuff.”
There’s something in his invitation that feels different this time, but you brush it off. It’s Steve. He always invites you over. You’ve done it a million times before—movies, pizza, talking about everything and nothing. It’s what you do.
“Yeah,” you agree, “sounds good.”
Steve’s eyes flicker down to your lips, then back to your eyes, his expression shifting. You feel your stomach flutter, the air between you thickening as the playful banter dies down.
You find yourself leaning in, just a bit, and you see Steve’s breath catch, the tip of his nose almost brushing yours.
But before you can get any closer, a loud bang from down the hall makes both of you snap apart like you’ve been caught.
You both step back, instantly awkward, eyes darting everywhere except at each other. The spell breaks, but the tension still lingers, heavy in the air. You glance at Steve, and his expression is unreadable—like he’s trying to hide something, or maybe it’s you who’s hiding it.
You break the silence first, a half-laugh escaping your lips. “Well… that was close.”
Steve rubs the back of his neck, looking embarrassed but also relieved. “Yeah, totally. We’re just—uh, messing around, right?”
You nod, trying to brush it off, but your heart is racing, and you know he feels it too. “Right. Just messing around.”
But neither of you says anything more. You both head in opposite directions down the hallway, still feeling the echo of what almost happened, both of you wondering if the other is thinking about it too.
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At last, it’s the day of the party. You’ve spent longer than you’d like to admit getting ready, but you’re finally happy with your look. Blue bell-bottom jeans, a tight orange top with a center zip that falls just below the line of modesty—it’s bold, but you feel good in it. Confident, even.
You arrive at the party, a mix of excitement and nerves swirling inside you. The music pulses through the house, and people are scattered, laughing and talking, their faces blurry in the haze of a dimly lit room. As much as you try to act like you don’t care, the anxiety creeps in. Funny how someone so confident can still feel out of place in a crowd.
You push through, trying to find your core group, but as you weave through the bodies, there’s really only one person you’re looking for. Steve. The one person who has always had a way of making you feel like you belong.
On your way through the crowd, you bump into Jonathan Byers. Another one of your longtime friends. You’ve all grown up together in Hawkins, so you’ve seen each other through the years—some friendships stronger than others, but still, it’s hard to forget those familiar faces.
“Jonathan!” you call out with a smile, pulling him into a quick hug. “Loving the look, very you.” You nod at his usual, low-key style—flannel and jeans. He’s always been the quiet, thoughtful one in the group, and you just want him to feel good about his understated vibe.
“I like… your shirt,” he says, his words trailing off awkwardly.
Well, at least your shirt is doing what you intended it to. Maybe just not with the target audience.
“Looking for Nancy?” you ask, hoping he’ll pick up the conversation.
“Yeah,” Jonathan responds, his hands shoved in his pockets. “I don’t really associate with anyone else here.”
You put on a mock-offended face, “Ouch.”
He immediately backpedals, realizing how it sounded. “I mean, you were gone for a while. We kinda lost touch.” His gaze drops a little, clearly uncomfortable, referring to the time when your parents separated again, and you spent some months with your mom in California. It had been a rough time for you, especially being away from Steve. You’re still not sure how you survived that.
“Well, I’m back now,” you say, brushing off the past. “Come on, join me. I’m on a mission to find Steve and Nancy.”
Jonathan nods, grateful for the company. “Alright, lead the way.”
And there he is, leaning against the wall by the kitchen, laughing at something someone said, a bottle of beer loosely held in his hand. He’s effortlessly cool as usual, but there’s something different tonight. Maybe it’s the way his eyes flicker over to Nancy every now and then, or the tightness in his posture that betrays the casual air he’s trying to maintain.
Nancy stands next to him, arms crossed, her jaw clenched in that familiar way when she’s upset—though it’s hard to say if it’s the alcohol or something else that’s fueling her frustration tonight. She’s leaning a little too heavily on the counter, her face flushed, the words she’s muttering barely audible over the noise of the party.
Steve’s smile is gone now, replaced by a more serious expression. He’s trying to keep things light, but it’s clear she’s not having it.
As you and Jonathan walk toward the kitchen, you spot Steve and Nancy in their little world, tucked away by the counter. You can hear the edge in Nancy’s voice, even from a distance, though you can’t make out the words. Jonathan follows your gaze, his brow furrowing. You can’t blame him for looking the way he does—he’s been around long enough to know the dance between Steve and Nancy.
“Is she okay?” you ask, your voice quiet, though it feels more like an automatic question than one you really expect an answer to. You’ve seen enough of this cycle to know the routine.
Jonathan glances over, shaking his head just slightly. “I don’t think so,” he says, a rare seriousness in his tone. “But you know Nancy. She’ll push through.”
You feel the knot in your stomach tighten as you watch Steve’s stance shift, his body leaning toward Nancy as if trying to reach her without crowding her, trying to give her space but also not let her slip too far away. There’s something fragile in the air, something more than just the tension between them. It’s like Steve’s holding on by a thread, and maybe Nancy is, too, but neither of them wants to admit it.
“You should probably go talk to them,” Jonathan says, glancing at you. He doesn’t know what to say either, but it’s obvious that Steve’s been trying to manage things on his own. You could step in—or let him handle it.
You glance at Jonathan again, silently debating what to do. Jonathan nudges you gently with his elbow. “You good?” he asks. You nod, taking a step forward, your voice hesitant but warm. “Hey, guys, what’s going on?” you ask, trying to break through the tension without adding to it.
Nancy shoots you a sharp look before turning away, but Steve doesn’t seem to mind. He’s got that defeated, yet resigned, look on his face as he exhales deeply. He’s trying to hide it, but the frustration is written all over him.
“Just the usual,” Steve says with a small, forced smile, looking at you.
Nancy, still with her arms crossed, shoots you a look that says more than her words do. It’s not that she’s mad at you; it’s just that she doesn’t want to be the center of attention right now. She’s not ready to have the conversation.
Jonathan stands by you, hands in his pockets, waiting for you to say something. You don’t know what the right thing is. The silence in the room is thick now.
“I’m gonna go get another drink,” Nancy slurs, her words trailing off as she pushes past Steve, who’s still trying to calm her down.
“Please don’t,” Steve says, his voice low and frustrated, but he’s too late. He sighs and chases after her, leaving you standing alone for the moment.
Not long after, a voice you’re starting to recognize from the past few days calls out from behind you.
“So if I’m Knight Rider, then who does that make you?” Billy’s voice is smooth, cocky, and unmistakable. He’s standing just a few feet away now, that grin still plastered on his face.
You turn to meet his gaze, letting a playful smile tug at the corners of your lips. You raise an eyebrow, a silent challenge in your eyes. “You’ll have to learn more about me to find out.”
He steps a little closer, eyes narrowing with amusement. “When?”
The question hangs in the air, and for a split second, you feel that old rush of excitement—the thrill of the unknown. Remembering your mom’s less-than-subtle hints this morning, you decide to play along.
“How about Wednesday night? We can go see the new Terminator movie. You look like someone who appreciates a little Arnold Schwarzenegger,” you say, testing the waters, letting a hint of flirtation slip into your voice.
Billy doesn’t hesitate, that confident grin of his widening. “It’s a date. I’ll pick you up. And…I’ve been to the gym Arnold works out in.”
You raise your hand to stop him, a slight smirk on your face. “Right…I’m sure you have. Also, I’ve seen how you drive your car. Maybe I’ll meet you there,” you tease, enjoying the playful banter.
He chuckles, stepping back, his eyes twinkling with a mischievous glint. “I’ll go nice and slow just for you.”
You can’t help but laugh at that, the tension between you both shifting into something lighter, something you haven’t felt in a while. But as you look past him, your eyes flicker briefly to Steve, catching him trying to pry the solo cup out of Nancy’s hand. Just as the music halts, that red solo cup and the red mystery punch within it spills all over Nancy’s white shirt.
Her face is in complete disbelief, she sways back and forth her reaction clearly slowed down by her alcohol intake.
“Screw you.”
Jonathan follows her quickly into the bathroom.
“You know,” Billy starts again, “Rumor has it that you and Harrington have quite the colorful history? Why is it that you two aren’t prom king and queen this year?”
Something in Billy’s tone instantly makes you second-guess your plans for Wednesday. His fading smirk tells you he’s noticed the flash of disdain on your face.
“What does it matter if you’re the one taking me on a date Wednesday?” you say, your voice edged with a warning. You’re feeling oddly protective over you and Harrington’s history, a past that’s none of Billy’s business.
Billy raises an eyebrow, caught off guard but intrigued. “Fair enough,” he replies, but the cocky glint in his eyes lingers, as if he’s still sizing up the situation.
Shortly after, you spot Steve storming out of the bathroom alone, Nancy nowhere in sight. His expression is tense as he heads straight for the drink station, a familiar frustration in his stride. You catch a glimpse of Jonathan making his way toward Nancy, so you turn to Billy with a polite excuse and make your way over to Steve.
“Hey, you don’t need to be drinking any more right now,” you say, noticing that Steve has downed two cups of punch in the short walk it took to reach him.
“I’ve got a pretty damn good reason to,” he mutters, his jaw tight as he opens a beer.
“Steve, you don’t have to tell me what happened, but at least think about the fact that you still have to drive home,” you warn, trying to keep your tone light.
He shrugs, avoiding your eyes. “You can drive me.”
“I never volunteered for that,” you reply, crossing your arms.
For a moment, he looks at you, really looks at you, and you can tell he’s realizing that things are different. You’re not just there to pick up his pieces anymore. You have your own life to live tonight—a party to enjoy, and maybe even boys to dance with. The weight of another round of Steve-and-Nancy drama? That’s not something you’re willing to carry this time.
“You’re right,” Steve says, setting the beer down with a sigh. “I’ll just go sit out on the porch and sober up a bit. Then I’ll head out. And I wanna make sure Nancy gets home safe.”
You give his arm a quick squeeze, silently admiring that, even in the middle of an argument, he’s still looking out for her. That is… until his gaze drifts to the front door, where he sees Jonathan helping a barely-standing Nancy out to his car.
Crap.
“Go sit on the porch. I’ll be right there,” you say quickly, hinting you’ll handle it. You rush outside to catch up with Jonathan. “You know how this looks, right?”
Jonathan gives a solemn nod. “She asked me.”
Nancy lifts her head slightly, her words slurred and muddled. “I don’t want… Steve to take me home. Not Steve. I want to see Barb’s parents. Take me to Barb’s house.”
You pause, taken aback. “Barb’s parents? Why do you want to see Barb’s parents right now?”
Jonathan stiffens, worry flickering in his eyes. “Uh, I really think I should get her home now. Maybe check on Steve too.”
Without another word, they’re off, leaving you standing in the night with a sense of unease. You know Barbara Holland was Nancy’s best friend, missing since last year. But why would she bring that up now? And why with such urgency?
You find Steve out back, leaning against the porch railing, eyes glazed with frustration and a hint of sadness.
“Steve…why would Nancy want to see Barb’s parents tonight?”
He shakes his head slowly, the alcohol clearly loosening his grip on restraint. “God, I wish I could tell you everything right now. It would make things so much easier. You’re my best friend. I tell you everything. But for the past year, I’ve been keeping so many secrets from you.”
A pit forms in your stomach. “What do you mean, Steve?”
He looks at you, eyes haunted, and whispers, “If I told you, you’d die.”
You laugh nervously, trying to shake the unease settling over you. “C’mon, it can’t be that serious.”
“There’s stuff going on around here that you have no clue about.” He reaches up, gently brushing a stray hair from your face, his fingers lingering a second longer than they should. Your heart skips, half hoping this is just the alcohol, half hoping it’s not. He always does this, walks that fine line.
His voice cracks slightly as he murmurs, “I just want to keep you safe.”
In that moment, you realize it’s not just words—it’s a plea, and you can feel the weight of something dark lurking just beyond his gaze, something he desperately wants to shield you from.
You give Steve a gentle pinch, trying to ground him. “I’m safe, Steve. I’m right here, see?”
But he only shakes his head, eyes dark with something close to dread. “Here is where it’s least safe. Those things… they’re out there.”
A chill runs down your spine. “What things, Steve?” You search his face, recognizing the unmistakable truth behind his words.
He just looks away, jaw clenched. Instinctively, your mind flashes back to last year, the disappearances of Will Byers and Barb. Then Nancy and Jonathan, vanishing for days without a word. Everyone assumed Jonathan had to hold things together while Joyce spiraled, refusing to believe her son was dead. There was even a funeral, and she still wouldn’t admit it. Then, against all logic, Will came back with no real explanation.
You remember Steve acting strangely after everything went down. He kept trying to make peace with Jonathan over the fight they got into outside the movie theater, but he dodged every question you asked about the night he went to Jonathan’s house, laughing nervously or changing the subject so fast it left you spinning. Then there was the night you found a bat in the trunk of his car—nails hammered into it like some kind of makeshift weapon. When you questioned him, he just shrugged it off, calling it a “guy thing,” and you let it go, though every instinct told you there was more to the story.
Whenever you pushed for answers, Steve would wave it off, teasing you about reading too many mysteries and spending too much time theorizing. But seeing the fear in his eyes now, the weight he’s carrying, it hits you like a punch: you were right to question everything. And he knows it, too.
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You drive Steve’s car back to his house, figuring you’ll pick up your mom’s in the morning. One night won’t matter.
Helping him up to his room, you can’t shake the strange coincidences piling up around Hawkins.
“I missed this,” he mumbles, settling onto his bed.
“What?”
“You… in my room,” he says softly, grabbing your hand. “Stay tonight. Don’t leave.”
“You have a girlfriend, Steve. I don’t stay over when you have a girlfriend.”
He sighs, eyes full of something almost desperate. “What kind of girlfriend says she isn’t really in love with you?”
You freeze. “I’m sorry—what?”
“She said we’re just… acting like we’re in love,” he says, voice rough with frustration and something else.
You can see it—the hurt he’s tried to bury, the way he’s tried so hard to be enough for someone. To finally feel wanted.
His arms slip around your waist, his head resting against your stomach, and you feel his shoulders shake. Silent tears he doesn’t want you to see.
“Hey, hey… She was drunk, okay? Everyone says stupid things when they’re drunk. Talk to her tomorrow. It’ll be fine.”
“She meant it,” he whispers, his voice breaking.
You gently push him back onto the bed, pulling the covers over him. “You’ve got a long day tomorrow, Steve. Get some rest, and we’ll figure out the Nancy thing together.”
You hate to leave him like this, but you know it’s the right thing to do. So, once again, you walk away, leaving your best friend alone with his heartbreak and the last traces of alcohol on his breath. Another turn in the endless cycle that is your friendship—always there for him, even as it pulls you back into the same, unbroken loop.
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The next day, Billy and Steve square off on the basketball court, the air thick with tension. Billy’s been taunting him non-stop, poking at Steve’s so-called “King Steve” reputation like it’s a worn-out joke. But Steve keeps his cool, mostly.
Until Billy casually drops your name.
“So tell me, Harrington,” Billy sneers with a smirk, “what made you go for the Wheeler girl over Y/N?”
Steve feels the muscles in his jaw clench, but he doesn’t take the bait. He knows better than to react. But Billy’s not done. He moves closer, a low chuckle escaping as he continues, “I mean, the King and the Princess of Hawkins High—cute match and all. But damn, man, have you seen the hips on her? Perfect for holding onto. Word is you already took her for a test drive, too. So I gotta wonder… why didn’t you ever claim her? Or maybe you just weren’t man enough?”
Steve’s control snaps. He shoves Billy hard, fire in his eyes as he stands inches from him, fists clenched. “Say one more thing about her. I dare you.”
Billy laughs, clearly enjoying himself, but there’s an edge to Steve’s stance, a fierce protectiveness that makes even Billy pause. Steve glares, his voice low and dangerous. “Y/N’s worth more than someone like you will ever know. So keep her name out of your mouth, or you’ll regret it.”
Right on cue, Nancy’s soft voice cuts through the tension. “Steve?” She stands just a few feet away, looking pale and uneasy, clearly having seen the entire thing unfold.
Billy smirks, throwing a last taunt over his shoulder. “Good luck, Harrington.” He saunters off, leaving Steve standing there, fists still clenched, his heart pounding.
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“Y/N!” your mom calls from downstairs. “Steve is here!”
Steve coming through the front door? That’s unusual—he’s always climbed the vines up to your window. You quickly spray a bit of perfume, fix your hair, then catch yourself in the mirror. Why are you even putting in effort for him?
When you come down, your mom throws you an excited smile, her back to Steve so he can’t see. She’s still holding onto that hope she’s had since first grade that you and Steve would end up together.
And then there he is, standing in the entryway with a bouquet of sunflowers—your favorite. Your heart stumbles as you take in every inch of him. For a brief second, you let yourself imagine you’re the only girl he brings flowers to. But realistically, he’s probably just coming from Nancy’s or on his way there next.
He hands you the flowers, his gaze lingering. “Thank you for everything.”
“It’s no big deal,” you say, trying to steady your voice.
“Well, I should get going,” he says, and your heart sinks. That’s it?
“But, uh, make sure to open your window. There’s a nice breeze out tonight,” he adds with a wink. You bite back a smile, catching on.
You say your goodbyes and dash up the stairs, ignoring your mom’s questions as Steve leaves. You open your window, sitting on your bed, waiting for him like you have a hundred times before. Somehow, after all these years, the excitement still feels brand new.
“Miss me?” He slips through the window, quietly so your mom doesn’t hear, and makes himself at home. He turns on your record player, the soft hum of music filling the room, then joins you on the bed.
He stares down at his hands. “I’m sorry for the position I put you in last night. It wasn’t fair, and you deserve better.”
You try to catch his gaze, but he’s clearly embarrassed. “That’s what best friends are for,” you say, hoping to ease his guilt.
You bite your tongue, unsure whether to bring up what he shared last night—but you’ve never hidden things from each other, and you don’t want to start now. “You told me about Nancy… how she said it felt like you were just acting in love.”
He sighs, defeated. “Yeah. I confronted her about it today. Asked if she could say she loved me, and she couldn’t.”
Your heart aches for him. “I’m sorry, Steve. Maybe she’s just… having a moment. A lot’s happened this year.”
The silence hangs between you for a moment, heavy with unsaid words.
“I’m gonna bring her flowers after this. I don’t think it’ll change anything, but she deserves an apology for everything I put her through,” he finally says, breaking the quiet. You smile, resting your hand on his knee. “I think that’s a good idea.”
He looks down at your hand on his knee, his fingers hovering for a moment before he covers it with his own. His expression softens, a hint of something he quickly tries to hide, but you can see it—a sadness mixed with a reluctant acceptance, like he knows exactly what all of this means.
He lets out a quiet sigh, staring at your intertwined hands. There’s a heaviness in his eyes. Like even if things with Nancy are ending, there’s something between you and him that’s never quite let go.
His fingers tighten around yours, just for a second, before he releases your hand and gives you a small, bittersweet smile.
“You should go,” you whisper. You don’t want him to. But he needs to.
He reluctantly resigns himself.
“Can I come pick you up in an hour? Maybe we can go to the movies or something?”
You know you should say no, but you can’t. “If you and Nancy aren’t making out and making up within the next hour then yes, we can go to a movie.”
He stares at you, and you can’t quite read him. You avert your gaze.
“It’s so funny,” he speaks almost as if he can’t believe himself, “No matter what…or who…I always need you.”
And with that he’s out the window and on his way to try and win back another woman.
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#strange things imagine#steve harrington imagine#steve harrington fluff#steve harrington fanfic#steve harrington x reader#steve harrington x you#steve harrington x y/n#steve harrington angst#steve harrington#slow burn#angst#steve harrington fic#stranger things fic#billy hargrove#nancy wheeler#jonathan byers#Open Arms AU
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Taini was not a great dragon.
That is to say, she was not particularly large. While the biggest dragons in the land were female, the average drake was larger than the average queen and many females were on the smaller side. Taini fell regrettably into this category. It made finding a cave to live in simpler, true, but the number of pirating swashbucklers with swords out to make a name for themselves was frankly disproportionate. An abundance of suitable caves was no use if they were full of knives yet to arrive.
She might not have been a great dragon, but this didn't mean Taini was not a great dragon.
It had taken her a while to accept that she was not an armour crushing giant. It had been a hard lesson for a young dragon to learn. Years wasted, strutting and fighting and striking first and burning things to the ground, all as a shield for her ego. It had taken failure, a near disaster and the loss of half her hoarde to soldiers that sent her to the mountains to heal, and to think. She was no giant. She was a fool to pretend she was. Shouting loudly into the world, throwing her weight about, it did not lend her more weight. It was foolishness.
Taini did not like to be foolish.
She thought long and hard in those days, and weeks, and months, as her wounds healed up in the safety of the cold, barren mountains. She was not the biggest. She could practice to be stronger but she would never be physically strongest. So what could she be?
Fastest? Fiercest? Most famed? Flame-blessed? Flight-gifted?
As she thought, it occured to Taini that thinking could be her strength.
She was good with languages. Dragons often are. Talking to humans came naturally, in the same way that she could talk to sphynxes and harpies and mermaids and unicorns. Could she use that?
A year had passed and Taini returned to her previous cave. This time, she had a plan.
Knights appeared, as they often did, what with "small dragon" being synonymous with "easy treasure". This time Taini did not roar or flame. She sat up smoothly.
"Welcome," she said to the foremost knight, his sword clutched a little too tightly, his armour a tad too tight. She placed him into a middle manager category of human. Just enough power to realise he had no real power and defensive with it. "Are you here to make a deposit?"
She had pitched her tone just right, the balance between professional and bored, as if they were wasting her time. It stalled them. Briefly.
"Do any of you hold an account?" she added, dialling up the snoot factor in her tone. "You are aware that the Treasure Cave requires you to complete the necessary rituals in order to use its services?"
She sniffed. A lick of flame flicked from one nostril. A few knights stepped back. One, standing midway in the group, said hesitantly "what...ummm....rituals?" And Taini knew she had them.
"Well, there's the obvious one, small sealed and labelled vial of your blood, but here at the Treasure Cave we trade in favours in exchange for dragon based guardians of your gold and treasure, invested or deposited at your choice, now if you would all step into the cave..."
A fantasy dragon realizes it can acquire more gold and treasures by operating the realm's first Dragon owned bank from its lair. Its been extraordinarily effective as adventurers trust a dragon to guard their riches over traditional banks.
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god loves you, but not enough to save you.
⤷ curly & gn!reader
summary: you didn’t talk much anymore— definitely not to him at least. you refused to work with anyone when he handed out tasks and always asked for the longest ones. even daisuke had come to him in private to ask about you, claiming to be too nervous to reach out directly in fear of upsetting you. your talks with swansea had dimmed as well. you avoided everyone.
but one in particular seemed to get the worst reactions from you. one he couldn’t even stomach admitting.
tags: crossposted on ao3, you take the place of anya, referenced/implied rape, angst, hurt no comfort, unresolved trauma, responsibility
ao3 version
Another restless night of tossing and turning led Curly out of his bed and into the lounge, thinking maybe a drink would do him some good. His stress levels had skyrocketed ever since he stepped foot on this ship— yet he had to keep composure. No one wanted a man so inadequate as a Captain.
Upon reaching his destination, he was met with you instead— sitting alone on the couch, staring at the huge projection of a starry night sky. He stopped in his tracks for a moment and pressed his tongue to the front of his teeth, debating on whether he should leave you be or reach out. That was until he thought back on your recent developments.
You didn’t talk much anymore— definitely not to him at least. You refused to work with anyone when he handed out tasks and always asked for the longest ones. Even Daisuke had come to him in private to ask about you, claiming to be too nervous to reach out directly in fear of upsetting you. Your talks with Swansea had dimmed as well. You avoided everyone.
But one in particular seemed to get the worst reactions from you. One he couldn’t even stomach admitting.
Curly approached the lounge area, stepping down the stairs quietly so as to not startle you— quietly calling your name to direct your attention to him for a moment, letting you know he was there.
The way your shoulders jumped was almost unnoticeable to anyone who wasn’t looking for the movement— but Curly saw it clear as day. It made his heart clench in his chest and he resisted the urge to curse under his breath at himself, regretting bothering you at all and wanting to turn back around and take his sorry ass back to bed.
But, the need to be there for you was stronger than the need to flee. For once.
“Sorry,” he muttered, “I didn’t mean to startle you.”
His words earned a much needed nod of assurance from you, a long, quiet sigh exiting his lungs. The sight of you was enough to make a grown man’s chest ache. You had abandoned your work enforced jumpsuit for a woolen gray sweater and black sweatpants that hung off your skin— bunching up at the ankles from the way you had your legs bent at the knee and nestled up against your chest.
A month ago, he would’ve sat right down next to you and smiled like he always did. His arm would find purchase around your shoulder as he nudged you during the aftermath of one of his absolutely horrid jokes.
But now, he couldn’t remember the warmth of your body next to him— let alone the thought of touching you. Last time he did that you looked at him like he was getting ready to strike you. That was the first real indication, he thought. Silent confirmation that something had happened to you under his protection.
“It’s okay, Captain.”
Ah. Captain.
He had drilled into your head the moment you had joined them that he really didn’t care for titles, and to call him by his name. And for a while, you listened. He had become Curly to you, just as you had become a friend to him.
But after this unspoken event. The way his title rolled off your tongue made him feel sick. It was foreign and familiar at the same time.
“You know you can call me Curly,” he spoke with a kind smile, trying to lightly tease you to get you to at least crack him a smile— tell you you were okay and he had nothing to worry about. But when met with your silence, he suppressed a sigh of disappointment.
He stood there for a few beats, waiting for something, anything to happen. When it didn’t, he took a step forward and sat himself down on the couch— next to you, but not too close. He knew he should keep his distance no matter how much it jabbed at his heart. This wasn’t about him.
“Couldn’t sleep? I couldn’t either.”
You didn’t have time to respond to his question before he answered it himself. He had a habit of doing this— no matter how many times Jimmy would dog on him in the past for interrupting or asking him things just to take away his right to answer them. It was all in good fun then, but with you, he couldn’t help but inwardly curse at himself.
“You.. haven’t been sleeping lately. I keep seeing you up here more frequently and uh.. it’s worrying me,” he confessed to you, keeping his voice down. He didn’t have a reason to. No one would hear him if he talked normally anyway, but he figured you would appreciate it.
Your silence was deafening and it made his leg bounce at the knee. He wasn’t good at this. He didn’t know how to confront these emotions when he felt them personally, so how was he expected to help anyone else?
Curly allowed the silence for a little longer before he tried to start another conversation. For some reason, he couldn’t give up. He felt a sort of entitlement to get a response out of you. It’s what a captain does, right? They help their crew when they need it— and you.. you need it.
“Please talk to me.. I want to help you so badly, but I can’t if I don’t know what’s going on in that head of yours,” again— and like always, he used humor to cover his slowly growing discomfort. He hated not knowing. Whether it was something simple or as serious as he assumed this was. He hated it.
“I wish I was one of them.”
Your meek voice echoed in his ears like it was spoken through a megaphone, his head immediately turning to look towards you to watch for any indication of what you may be feeling. Of course, there was nothing. No trace of anything at all. No sadness, no anger— just nothing. It made Curly’s throat feel dry and he forced a swallow before speaking.
“The stars?” He asked, looking in the direction of your blank stare which was staring intently at the fake projection.
“Yes.”
“Can I ask why?”
A small part of him almost didn’t want to know despite trying so hard to find out. He had always been afraid of confronting a problem head on— constantly trying to find ways to avoid them altogether or ignore them until they didn’t affect him any longer. This wasn’t his realm and he didn’t feel welcome in it.
“They don’t have to think or feel like we do,” you began, your words already tugging on his heart, “They don’t regret. They don’t cry or complain. Yet they burst under the slightest indication that something has gone wrong.”
“They remind me of myself at times,” with the final words of your confession, went your contact— eyes drifting away from the pixelated stars and over to Curly. His eyes locked with yours and he felt a chill run down his spine when you spoke again.
“You too.”
What did you mean by that, he thought— having a hard time deciphering your rather bold statement. He didn’t know how to react. Your words ran through his head over and over and he tried to pinpoint where he related to them. But, of course, in his flawed mind— he had no idea.
“How so?”
He didn’t expect the smile that graced your face at his words. He wanted so desperately to see it earlier, but he didn’t want it now. Your eyes looked over his body before returning to the blue luminance of the projection— causing his gaze to stutter and flick between you and the supposedly calming sight in front of them.
“With all do respect.. you aren’t made to be a leader. You’re too reserved and too.. protective of your convictions— and when someone goes against that, you play the mediator. A very flawed mediator.”
He stayed silent, looking down at his hands and now still leg. He fought the urge to defend himself and tell you how hard he tries to be good for the crew, but he knew this was not the time. His most closed off crew member was finally opening up to him after so much pleading, so he listened. He did what he should’ve done from the very start, and listened.
“You tell everyone they can talk to you and that you’re there for them.. but, are you really?”
He felt different. He had never had his whole self picked apart and put into words for him to hear. Something deep down told him that he needed too. He was living in purposeful ignorant bliss and it was time to smell the roses. If only they weren’t wilted and rotten.
“I’m..” he started, cutting himself off with another thick swallow, shaking his head slightly to clear his mind and try to figure out what to say. His teeth pinched the sensitive skin of the inside of his bottom lip and gnawed at it— finding solace in the momentary sting before he was forced to face reality. His own reality.
“I’m so sorry,” vulnerability was clear in his voice, “I really am.”
He opened his mouth to say more, but when he looked over to see you shaking your head and adjusting your seat— legs stretched out and planted on the floor underneath them instead of tucked up to your body.
“I don’t want your apologies, Curly. I want you to take responsibility for what you’ve done.”
Curly’s eyes grew dry and he found he couldn’t blink anymore. His eyelids stopped responding to his brain and his body stiffened. He couldn’t move, couldn’t see— his skin was burning.
Once his brain cleared and the clouds were gone, all he could see was the projection of the night sky— this time much smaller and directly in front of his face. Unshed tears pooled around what was left of his bottom eyelids. He should’ve done more. He could’ve helped you— helped them all.
If only sorry was enough.
i wanted to post some of my ao3 fics here as well, so why not start with curly? i’m going to keep jimmy there and not bring them here though just because i feel more comfortable that way. if you are from ao3, expect the enji one soon! and if you’re not from ao3.. expect the same <3
#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#captain curly#curly mouthwashing#mouthwashing curly#curly x reader#sort of#not really
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Waste a Moment / Part 10
Summary : Bucky had always kept his distance, but seeing you get hurt on a mission changed everything. For the first time, he has a chance to start over with you.
Pairing : Bucky Barnes x avenger!reader (she/her)
Warnings/tags : Mentions of food. Cursing. Memory loss. Head injury. Reader used to work in a museum.
Requested by : @remoony
Word count : 2.7k
Note : Thank you so much for all the love you all are giving this series! Enjoy!
Series Masterlist
“Give me Something I Want”
Wednesday.
In the days that followed Yelena’s ultimatum, Bucky felt a strange, quiet storm churning beneath the life he’d finally allowed himself.
For the first time in years, he felt a sense of warmth, of peace—something he’d only dreamed about, something that had always felt out of reach.
He had you. And he could feel the calmness like he hadn't felt before every time you looked at him, every time your hand slipped into his, every time you said his name with a kind of gentle joy he’d thought he’d never deserve.
Even after that little bicker on Monday night, you had found your rhythm again, choosing to trust him instead.
He’d spent so many nights alone, haunted by the weight of his own memories, terrified of what he was capable of, of who he had been.
But you… you made him feel like he was worth saving.
But even as he kissed your hair and let himself sink into the couch cushions, he could feel Yelena’s judgement hanging over him like a ghost. The truth clawed at him, the bitter memories whispering reminders of the damage it could do if found out, if you knew the version of him that had once pushed you away, that had built walls so high he didn’t know how to tear them down, could you still look at him with that same kind stare? Would you pull away, realising that you’d only seen a sliver of the man he’d been, that the rest was buried in regrets and choices he wasn’t proud of?
His mind flashed back to that moment with Yelena, her voice leaving him exposed, vulnerable. Her words echoed in his head, haunting him.
But she didn’t understand— she couldn’t possibly. Because you now looked at him with love and adoration. He wasn’t ready to lose that, to lose you.
Thursday.
The next morning, he found himself watching you as you slept, the barest light tracing your features. His heart twisted in a strange, painful mix of love and fear.
He would carry the burden of his past alone, if it meant he could keep the life he’d found in you.
He kissed your forehead, his lips as light as a feather, making a silent promise to himself: he would protect you from the pieces of himself that might hurt you, no matter what it cost him. And if Yelena tried to break that fragile peace, he’d deal with her when the time came. But for now, he’d stay right here, holding onto this one thing that finally felt real.
As he lay beside you, he repeated it in his mind like a vow: She will never know.
Friday.
The mission briefing room pulsed with red lights and bright screens, though everyone else seemed blind to it.
Maybe you just weren’t used to it yet.
Around you, the team was busy with logistics, preoccupied with tactical details, terrain-view maps, and contingency plans.
You felt Bucky shift beside you. He was always a watchful presence beside you, like a human shield. Across the table sat Sam, Clint, and Yelena, their expressions locked in concentration. Bucky, however, had hardly looked up. His gaze remained trained on the table, his fist clenched in a way that made the way that made your heart flip.
Sam lifted his eyes to meet yours. “You’re ready for this,” he said, his tone firm. “Your specialisation on ancient artefacts makes you the only one who can get close enough without setting off every alarm in the place.” He gestured to the screen, where a high-definition image of a weapon gleamed with an eerie allure—a golden blade encrusted in cryptic symbols, the metal gleaming as if alive, exuding a faint glow that seemed neither earthly nor entirely comprehensible to the human mind.
“Our intel says it’s magical,” Sam continued— he had consulted with Strange, and he didn't even seem too sure. “Or at the very least, powerful enough to be a real threat if it falls into the wrong hands. We need you to get in there, identify it, and secure it before anyone else does. Clint and Yelena will be on backup. They’ll be ready to extract you the second something goes wrong.”
You nodded, feeling the familiar buzz of adrenaline flooding your veins— one you couldn't tie to a memory. This was the kind of mission you’d trained for, the kind that made you a candidate for the Avengers in the first place.
Then you felt it—a small but telling movement. Bucky’s hand had moved, his fingers curling tighter into a fist, the hum of machine coiling around his metal arm. A worry flashed in the back of his eyes that held the barely-contained force of a storm. His eyes were locked on the photograph of the weapon, his entire body straightening as if bracing against a blow.
He finally spoke. “No.”
The single word shattered the room. The others fell silent, every gaze snapping toward him, the low hum of conversation extinguished as if a candle had been snuffed out. His tone was final.
You blinked, thrown off by the bluntness he exuded.
What?
The single word spiked confusion, breaking through your focus. Bucky was rarely vocal when he was around the entire team— but he was never like this. His expression was hard now, carved with an intensity that seemed almost primal, as though he could see the danger you’d face from a mile away.
Sam’s brows drew together. “What?” he started, his voice calm but tinged with caution. He had the terrain intel for you, every dip of the landscape, But Bucky’s objection was a territory none of them had mapped.
As you looked up, Bucky’s eyes were fixed on you now, as if he were silently urging you to see what he did—to feel the risk that he alone seemed to sense.
His jaw clenched so tight it looked like he might crack a tooth. When he finally met Sam’s demanding stare, there was a flicker of vulnerability, an urgency that softened his hard edges.
“She’s not ready,” he said, in a rumble so low that a chill ran down your spine. “We haven’t covered everything yet. There’s more we need to work through.”
Clint leaned forward. The look on his face was half a challenge, half a curiosity. “Bucky, you were the first to tell us she’s ahead of schedule. Hand-to-hand, stealth—you said it yourself, she’s exceeded every target.” His voice was level, but a hint of irritation crept up his throat.
Sure, Clint might not have as much of a … hands on approach as Bucky did, but he oversaw your training, too.
And he knew you were ready,
Bucky shook his head. It was his human hand that flexed into a fist this time, the knuckles turning white.
“I want more time,” he muttered, more to himself than to anyone else. “The mission should be postponed. That’s all I’m asking.”
Bucky radiator of the fear he was struggling to mask.
“I trust your judgement, Bucky,” Sam’s arms crossed over his chest, his brow furrowing. "But she’s proven that she’s capable. She’s kicking my sorry ass week in week out and you know she’s ready.”
“I just want more time,” He repeated in a rasp, his eyes darkening.
Time.
That was all he wanted.
All he ever wanted with you.
More time, to fix every weak spot, to be sure you were shielded against every possible threat. More time to prepare you for the dangers you couldn’t yet see. More time to hold you in his arms before anything— this mission or Yelena— took you away from him.
But time was slipping away.
Sam looked over at you, assessing, maybe even waiting to see what you thought. You’d been eerily quiet, a mixture of awe and nerves keeping you planted to your chair. This was your first mission briefing after getting back into training, after all. You hadn’t learned the cadence of these discussions yet, hadn’t learned the proper flow of conversation.
“One week wouldn't hurt,” you murmured, your voice steady, though a knot twisted in your chest.
Bucky’s breath hitched as the words one week left your lips, echoing in his mind like a warning. The phrase cut through him, pulling him back to Yelena’s voice, low and sharp as she’d said it to him just days before: One week, Barnes. You have one week to tell her everything or I will.
He glanced across the table, his eyes landing on Yelena. Her stare was unrelenting, almost predatory. The corners of her mouth quivered in a faint, insincere smile, and her eyes locked onto his with a dark promise, a reminder of the ultimatum she had made—an ultimatum that only had two days left on the clock.
Bucky felt a dread gnawing at him, knowing that both clocks were now ticking down faster than he could stop it.
Sam glanced between the two of you. This time. His eyes were kinder, more understanding.
“Fine,” he conceded. “But only for a week. After that…” He gave a smile that reassured your confidence. “It’s yours.”
Relief surged through Bucky, though he buried it beneath a mask of calm indifference.
As the meeting wrapped up, everyone began to leave the room. As you stood to leave, you caught a look from Yelena, her face shadowed by a faint trace of sadness. She lingered by the door, though she said nothing.
You looked down, an unexpected pang of guilt tugging at your heartstrings. You assumed that Yelena was disappointed in you, in delaying the mission.
You hadn’t meant to slow anyone down. You had trained relentlessly, preparing for a moment like this, but Bucky’s resistance had meant something to you.
You had grown to trust him more than anyone in your fragile existence. If he said no, he must’ve had a reason.
—
When you were finally alone with Bucky back at your apartment, a tension thrummed between you. You turned to him, crossing your arms, unable to hold back the frustration and confusion threatening to bubble over.
“I was ready for that mission,” you said. “I am ready.”
He sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. You could see the struggle in his eyes, a potion of protectiveness and love. “It’s… not that simple,” he replied reluctantly. His cheek ones flexed, and for a moment, he looked at you with a vulnerability that made you weak.
“Not that simple?” you echoed, pressing an explanation out of him. “I agreed to a week because you were worried, not because I thought I wasn’t ready. You’re always so… protective, but I need you to trust me.”
He nodded, his human hand reaching out to touch your arm, comforting himself through the contact. His thumb traced gentle circles. “I do,” He hesitated, the admission heavy on his tongue. “I need you here. Just… a little longer.”
The honesty in his words softened your frustration. His hand tightened on you, his voice dropping to a raw, vulnerable whisper. “I can’t lose you. Not again.”
The words hit you hard, and for a moment, you stood there and shared his worries. You lifted a hand to his cheek, feeling the roughness of stubble under your fingers, his eyes flickering closed.
“Bucky,” you whispered, gently pulling him closer. Your arms slid around his neck, and you felt him relax almost instantly. A quiet sigh slipped from his lips as you ran your fingers through his hair.
“I’m here,” you murmured, your voice soft as your lips brushed over his cheek. “But sooner or later, you’ll have to let go.”
Bucky’s metal arm slid around your waist, his forehead pressing gently against yours. He held you like he was memorising every detail, the sound of every breath you took.
Then his mouth found yours in a kiss that carried everything he couldn’t put into words. His hands moved up your back, tracing slow, warm circles that left a trail of heat along your spine. You felt his fingers graze your skin, slipping beneath the hem of your shirt, his touch sending shivers through you as he pulled you closer, pressing you against the marble counter.
Each kiss, each touch, was a confession, an apology, a plea. Still, you felt the distance he kept, a part of himself he still couldn’t share.
When he finally pulled back, his forehead rested on yours. His breaths were uneven, his gaze heavy-lidded with something that looked awfully a lot like grief.
“I will,” he promised, his voice growing thin. “I just need more time.”
You nodded, brushing your thumb along his cheek, meeting his gaze with warmth, understanding. “One week,” you whispered back, a soft smile lifting your lips. You leaned in, kissing him again, your touch lingering, giving him the reassurance he so desperately needed
When you said it, your voice was soft, filled with warmth and reassurance. But in his mind, the words twisted, dragging him back to the way Yelena had said them—sharp and unforgiving.
One week.
Your tone was gentle, a promise. Hers had been relentless and ruthless, a threat. He couldn’t shake it, the way she had cut into him, a grim countdown echoing in his mind no matter how hard he tried to focus on you.
You sighed, breathing in his scent, wondering what he was thinking about.
Could you really blame him? Of course he cared. Of course he was worried.
The last time you’d been sent on a mission, you came back with four years of your life wiped clean, whole chapters of memory erased like pages torn from a book.
You didn't voice it, but you often found yourself wondering about those lost fragments of your life, the memories that had slipped through your fingers. What were they? Who have you been?
Bucky had never given you straight answers. All he ever said was that before all this, he was your friend. But there was something in his eyes that suggested more.
You wondered sometimes, if the two of you had been more than friends before… Had you been lovers, too, the way you were now?
It was easy to imagine it, the way his body curved so naturally onto yours.
But he wouldn’t tell you, and his reluctance left you with an aching sense of being incomplete.
Sometimes you wondered if losing all that time hurt him more than it hurt you.
Maybe the thought of reliving them, of watching you live without the memories you both carefully curated together, hurt him too much.
And even if Bucky were to tell you everything—the names of places you’d been, the details of nights spent together, the whispers you might have shared—it would still be just that: information. Facts without feelings.
No context behind what you did and why you did it.
In that moment, his body leaned into yours as if he could delay time, press pause, keep the world at bay for just a little longer.
But deep down, he knew this was temporary.
He knew Yelena wouldn’t wait forever. Two days, maybe less, and everything he feared would come crashing in.
Even if he managed to talk her out of it, he had a week until you had to go on the mission.
—
Later that night, Bucky sat in the dim glow of his phone, eyes fixed on the unsent message he’d typed to Yelena.
Can we talk?
He was planning to convince her, to beg her if he had to, anything to stop her from telling you the truth. At the very least, he wanted her to hold off for a little longer.
He had an excuse now—the mission. The argument was already forming in his head. “She’s going on a mission in a week,” he’d tell her. “Do you really want her distracted with all of this?”
It was a flimsy shield to hide behind, but maybe it would buy him time. Maybe he could just keep buying time.
Because for you, he’d pay anything.
With a weary sigh, he deleted the message.
Tomorrow, he thought, I’ll talk to Yelena in person, face to face. Maybe if she saw how much this meant to him, she’d hold her silence a little longer. Maybe she’d understand.
But as Bucky’s screen went dark, your phone buzzed in the other room.
You glanced down at your phone, surprised to see a message from Happy:
Hey! Had my assistant compile all the security footage of you from the last three years at the compound. You’re welcome to come by and watch it whenever you’re ready.
-to be continued…
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A/N: Hello!!!💛💛I haven’t proofread this or anything, so I’m sorry if it’s all over the place or is bad. Mostly write this at night so forgive spelling, grammar, and formatting mistake. I’m new to this stuff so… uhm… I’m a little nervous to share but alas this is for me to spill my thoughts so… yeah! 😅 Enjoy <3
(Please no one steal of copy any of this! I worked really hard and it’s be a real bummer😭💕)
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Years of being in the military had long since stripped away any autonomy Ghost had possessed. He became a husk of the man, a mere shadow of who he’d once been.
A ghost.
Simon stopped caring about what people thought of him. Why did it matter what they said or believed? He was good at his job and that was all that really mattered to him. Years ago, when he was younger, he learned that it was pointless to make friends on the force, so why even try to keep face?
His name had been associated with sanguinary and brutality for longer than he could keep track of. As the time passed, he felt as if he was becoming what his peers perceived him as— a ruthless, cold, heartless killer. A man that lived and thrived off the bloodshed and chaos he constructed around him.
Even his own team believed that notion, even if they outwardly express it. It was his brand, his label, his trademark. He couldn’t change it, even if he wanted to— which he didn’t.
Life was simpler that way. When he could convince himself that he was just an aimless vessel living solely to kill and bring forth ruination. He felt no indignation towards the opinions he had been deduced too. It was just life for him.
That was until he met her.
A new transfer to the unit, hand picked by Laswell herself to function as a new medic. Years of experience under her belt had made her invaluable.
Sergeant A. Balik of the 22nd SAS regiment. A seasoned combat medic who went by Bingo, as Price explained the day before her arrival. He mentioned that he had worked with her before, a couple missions her and there. He knew her work and was clearly impressed.
Ghost couldn’t help but sit up a little straighter. He could hear the clear admiration in his voice and how he praised the new member.
When he did finally meet her, outside of the stuff conference room the next morning, she was anything but. An average sized woman clad in a standard uniform, of a bulky jacket and a plain balaclava. He paused when he looked at her eyes, a strange contrast between them. One was a pale blue while the only was a honey brown— maybe hazel? Interesting, he mused to himself.
He stared at her, sizing her up. There was no need for introductions— that would come later.
Underwhelming. That was the word to describe her. Ghost didn’t doubt her abilities, but she was generally unimpressive.
The introduction meeting was short and simple, mostly Price talking as he rambled off a quick rundown of each team member and their specialties. Soap and Gaz warmly welcomed her to the team and Ghost just grunted a quick welcome before taking his leave.
He was a busy man with things to do. He had met her and there was no need for him to spend any more time on it.
Over the next couple weeks, he opted to observe her from a distance: get of feel of what she was like before he made any moves to spark up conversation.
Something about her caught his attention. She was receptive, but never returned emotions. She carried herself with an air of confidence, but always folded under the command and word of anyone.
It was like she was trying to hide herself, shrink away from any speculation by always be fucking acquiescent to everything.
Naturally, he pried Laswell for her personal file.
How could he not?
He got it with little to no questions asked and he skimmed through it as best he could with all the redacted information. It was to be expected, most operations debriefs were high profile and wouldn’t simply be accessible to anyone.
What he did find, however, were some old medical records. There was one incident in the earlier logs of her medical history. A long hospital stay due to intense trauma. Some facial and torso injuries, but they were vague. After that, nothing interesting, just some antibiotic prescriptions and minor injuries. Finding nothing more interesting, he returned the file and went on with life.
Months passed and missions flew by as the team got closer and closer. Ghost still kept a distance but he found himself able to enjoy her silence. What he didn’t enjoy, however, was how her gaze, which had once been occupied on the other two sergeants, had shifted to him as of late.
Analytic and scrutinizing, it picked him apart and read him like a damn book. It was as if she was dissecting and studying every little detail about him
At first, he hated it. Hated seeing the gears turn. Hated knowing that she was categorizing him. Hated the idea that her mind was focused on him.
As time progressed, he found himself lying in bed night after night, sleep eluding him as his mind flooded with images of her. Her soft voice, each word meticulously picked and spoked with careful considered. And fuck, the breathy chuckles that slipped out whenever Soap made a shitty joke.
Ghost found himself slowly becoming enthralled with her. He practically forced himself to have and hold conversations, craving her company. He found himself staring, entranced by her. Even covered in blood and grime, she still managed to suck the air from his lungs and the thoughts from his brain, leaving nothing but herherher behind.
He was scared of these new feelings, unease and anxiety prickling up his spine every time he found himself getting too lost in a day dream. Every time he realized his gaze was lingerimg a moment too long. Yet he never found the courage to try and stop the rampaging emotions that swirled inside him. The truth was, he didn’t want to.
He would never admit it, but deep down, with all that had happened in his life, he welcomed the strange feeling of… love? Devotion? Lust? He didn’t know what it was, but it felt bloody good to want someone the way he wanted her.
Suddenly he didn’t want to conform to the rumors and assumptions. He wanted her to see him as human, not some brute who lives solely to bring about the ruin of others.
In the short time she’d been there, she had ruined him— complicated his life and tore down almost everything he thought he knew.
And all without even knowing she’d done it.
#cod modern warfare#call of duty#simon riley#ghost mw2#ghost x oc#ghost mwii#simon ghost riley the man that you are😔#cod fanfic#cod oc
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Beraneth
A brief history: Grew up in the forests of Valenwood and abided by the Green Pact. She listened with rapt attention to her father's stories of his missions for Thalmor. When she managed to convince him to take her with him to Skyrim, everything changed. There, amidst the mountains and dangers, she enjoyed life: jumping over rocks, fighting sabre cat, meeting all sorts of creatures. The fun ended when her father suddenly disappeared. After weeks of worrying, she found his body - mutilated, murdered on Thalmor's orders. She stayed in Skyrim, full of hatred for Thalmor. Without her father's support, she had to make a living by engaging in dangerous missions. Her skills grew, but it didn't bring wealth. When she was offered a well-paid commission in Riften, she accepted, despite having to work with «altmer» Pellyon Thaorius ( +++ ). Pellyon's arrogance and contempt infuriated Beraneth, and after he insulted her, she nearly killed him. All my text is translated through a translator. If you find faults, you can let me know so that I can correct it as soon as possible. Enjoy reading! This text was written for me by this author: @frimova Long story: Nothing in the life just happens. Beraneth had learnt that long ago, when her father had taught the little one how to hunt. Valenwood was a marvellous and most importantly green province, where bosmer could observe the Green Pact without any problems. But even such beautiful places could get boring, become so familiar and usual, so mundane that he wanted to climb a tree and howl from the eating boredom. Her father had travelled many places on Thalmor's errands, and Beraneth had listened with pleasure to his stories of hot sands, stinking marshes, beautiful fields... Until she encountered a real one.. Until she threw a tantrum so that her father would finally take her to Skyrim
A place her father had never been and a place where his help was needed. Beraneth had no interest in her father's business in Thalmor. She enjoyed jumping around the mountains like a mountain goat, riding sabre cat. Simply put - she was having a blast for all her years of living in boring Valenwood. With her father's work in Skyrim ending, she would be forced to return home with him and wallow in boredom once more.
And so the year went on. Beraneth had fun with her father when he was free, and the rest of the time she amused herself: having sex with random attractive elves, people; learning how to fight with an axe from some Nord. She did not remember names. There was no point in memorising their names and faces. Why? She would outlive most of them anyway.
... her father didn't make contact. First a day, then a second, and then it had been a week! It was as if her father had vanished from her life, even though he was a pretty punctual Bosmer. In the second week Beraneth began to worry, no matter how much the innkeeper tried to reassure her.
- «Well, it happens...» - he said, spreading his hands, - «It's common in Skyrim to go on a bender. Your father's probably made friends with the locals and is drinking with the nords... or he's found himself some hottie and he's spending time with her. Don't worry about it. More Mead?»
The words were of little help, but they calmed Beraneth's anxious thoughts for the time being. Maybe the innkeeper was right. Father had always been outgoing, friendly and smiling, with such kind eyes. It was as if Beraneth's heart had died when the letter from Thalmor arrived. She didn't even remember the contents of that letter, which she clutched with trembling hands. But those lines....
«...killed by the enemy while on duty. We offer our condolences ... compensation will be paid to the family...»
That didn't make sense! At that moment, Beraneth smelled something wrong! Then she started searching every cave and ditch near Thalmor Embassy. Using all her skills, she overheard khajiit from the caravan saying that near one cave, on the way to the sea, there was a horrible stench of rot and blood. So bad that even the bitter Skyrim frost in the mountains couldn't beat the stench. So she went there. Found that cave. Crawled into the cave. Cracked the skull of a frost troll. Found her father's corpse.
Mutilated, wearing Thalmor clothes, with a broken embalming tool
in his pocket. The kind face was twisted with fear, one eye missing. The fingers he used to braid her pigtails were broken and had no nails. She would become part of the wild hunt without the ritual. Thalmor had used her father as a torture master. He was killed.
At that moment, Beraneth didn't go home. She wrote a letter home, explaining the situation to her family, enclosing Thalmor's letter and her father's ring. And so began her life in Skyrim, where she grew to hate the altmers. Without her father's support in the form of cheerful chatter and money, Beraneth felt lost. Money for food, a bed, alchemist and blacksmith services had to be earned and it wasn't nearly as much fun. The adventurers or rather the seekers of gold and glory were dying they were dying like flies.
But Beraneth was strong. She was able to adapt. She earned a few scars, often broke bones and tore muscles, but with each passing year she grew stronger, more beautiful.... but not richer. And that led her to a customer in Riften. Some weirdo from the Thieves Guild wanted some thing pulled from the deep ruins. Dangerous, especially since Beraneth had heard that a lot of mercenaries, adventurers and scholars died in those particular ruins. But it pays a lot and she just had to pay a blacksmith to sharpen her axe. And she needed to buy new boots....
Anyway. She needed money. And the sooner the better.
But there was one little «but» that spoilt it. The reward would have to be shared. WITH ALTMER. A terrible disaster that Beraneth could have survived. The pale upstart with long hair like it came off the arse of an elderly mammoth annoyed her. His face was too arrogant. And what kind of stupid name was that? Who names their child Pellyon Thaorius? Too complicated and she wasn't going to spell that name even in her head, so she called the arrogant idiot Pelly and settled for that.
But her anger jumped a few degrees higher when two cats joined their group of two elves. What kind of noble orphanage was this? They hadn't even travelled two steps from the customer's house before conflict immediately broke out.
- «What is this?» - she asked rudely.
- «What?»- interjected Pellyon coolly, not looking at Beraneth, giving most of his attention to the cat on his shoulder.
- «We didn't discuss having two others with you. And we're not going to split the reward four ways, and I'm certainly not going to mess with you and your cats.»
Khajiit jumped off his shoulder. The two elves stared at each other.
Pellyon said contemptuously:
- «Mudbloods weren't asked for opinions. Do your job, you miserable wretch.»
Pellyon flies to the ground, his nose bleeding. Beraneth breathes furiously, keeping himself from reaching for his axe.
- «I'll fucking kill you now, son of an Altmer whore and a Falmer brat!» *I'll tell you about the two Khajiit later Thanks for reading! Little of their interactions in the future:
#fanart#digital art#line art#skyrim#tes#the elder scrolls#tes art#skyrim fanart#art#artists on tumblr#skyrim art#skyrim oc#oc: Beraneth#bosmer#bosmer oc#elf#AU1#oc: Calthar
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Spike Birthday Boy Card Voice Lines
Summon line: One year older, huh. Wait, this party's all for me?
Groooovy!!: [LOCKED UNTIL NOVEMBER 19TH]
Set Home: Oh...I don't wear white much. Hope I don't get it dirty...and that it's not too fancy. Can't afford one'a those dry-cleanin' places.
Home idle 1: Birthday cake really lives up to the hype! Or maybe 's just 'cuz my dorm-mates made it for me. Food always tastes better when there's heart in it.
Home idle 2: Past two years, whole dorm's gotten together to surprise me with a party like this. Funny thing is, I don't remember ever tellin' anyone my birthday. Oh, but Lona I guess.
Home idle 3: Seein' Ruggie get all grubby with the food really cheers me up. Guy should eat up; he's so scrawny, 'm kinda worried 'bout 'im.
Home idle - login: [*sniff*] Sorry for gettin' all misty-eyed. 'M still not used to bein' treated like all special-like like this.
Home idle - Groovy: [LOCKED UNTIL NOVEMBER 19TH]
Home tap 1: Back'n the day, was just me and my friends on my birthday, we'd sneak in to see a movie or somethin'. Worth the risk, bein' a special occasion 'n all.
Home tap 2: It bein' my birhtday gives me a great excuse to hang with Neige. [*blush*] He set up a cute lil' picnic for us. He's amazin'...
Home tap 3: Hey hey, check this out! Floyd got me new shoes! Kept gettin' blisters so probably 'bout time I got new ones.
Home tap 4: This mornin' I got an envelope with some money in it. No name though. Was it my dad...? Hmmm...nah, he wouldn't.
Home tap 5: Vil showed up 'n got me some real fancy sunscreen... Coulda sworn the guy couldn't stand me for some reason. 'S he startin' to come around?
Home tap - Groovy: [LOCKED UNTIL NOVEMBER 19TH]
Duo: Spike - "Huh? Oh, hey Veronica!" Veronica - "Heard it's your birthday."
Tag list: @another-random-paradise @thehollowwriter @faefum @cactus13-rolloflammesimp @beneathsakurashade
@nyx-of-night @theolivetree123 @babyghoul138 @skibidibabygirl @screamintoad
@mishig
PLEASE TELL ME IF YOU WANNA BE TAGGED IN FUTURE STUFF!
#2024 birthday event 🥊#🥊spike#moony's ocs#twst#twisted wonderland#twst ocs#twisted wonderland ocs#twst oc#twst oc art
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syndrome baby death
When I said I didn’t want to share about my pregnancy to avoid psychos in my inbox, I was mainly thinking of this one ⬆️. And lo and behold, this is what I found in my inbox a few hours later.
All the sane blogs around here know her because she has been sending us all psychotic messages for the past year if not more. They usually go like that:
These are just from the last couple of days and most of the times we just ignore her ass because she clearly is deranged. She is also very up to date with everyone’s moves because she adapts her stuff according to what’s everyone doing. For example last time I shared I was going on holidays she “manifested” a plane crash for me lmao.
Now she is dumb to the point she didn’t make sure to cover her ass properly before going crazy online. That means that I was able to first find her side Instagram account-the one she uses for liking and commenting on her favourite delulus pages. She was even dumber about not making it private at first which allowed me to find out more personal stuff about her. I mean how cool it is to have a hater’s name, surname, address, place of work…☺️
I never believed in doxxing anyone on the internet or in sharing their personal information, no matter how hateful towards me they get.
However, coming for my baby is something I will never ever tolerate, I’ll eat you alive, I’ll end you if you ever think of sending me something like that again.
Here’s why I’m now sharing the name of her finsta below, regardless of the fact that after I mentioned her name once a few weeks back she got scared and made it private.
Should she ever send anything to me again, about ANYTHING, I am filing a complaint to the police where she lives (it’s easy when you have all her personal details) and no more reporting to Tumblr bullshit because they don’t do anything. I will also be making everything I now know about her public on here. With absolutely no guilt whatsoever.
And finally you ignorant crazy scum, it’s called Sudden Infant Death Syndrome and not whatever shit you called it. It is a very real thing that affects families for ever and it’s certainly not something that you have the right to use to feel better about a random stranger not giving a shit about you.
It’s just too bad it’s not something that can happen to grown ass pieces of shit like you.
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the schrodinger's sect thing you bring up is really interesting, because imo it's the result of the jiang cheng haters trying to simultaneously two separate and often contradictory systems of values to roast jiang cheng.
western culture, at least, tends to follow at least these two separate systems of values:
the system of values that centers compassion, kindness, humility, and caring; ie. values typically associated with christianity.
the system of values that centers strength, accomplishment, independence, pride, and nobility; ie. values typically associated with ancient rome.
(nietzsche goes off to kind of an insane end about these, but this really isn't the place to discuss master and slave morality.)
now, these two systems of values are different. there are a lot of situations in which they can overlap and/or in which having virtues from one system will also bring you virtues from the other system, but there are just as many cases where traits one system classifies as virtues are instead classified by the other system as vices - cases where it is impossible to be "virtuous" under both systems.
and from what i've seen, jiang cheng haters often end up saying seemingly contradictory things because they simultaneously employ both systems of values to roast jiang cheng - even when it makes little sense to do so because, as stated above, these are two different systems of values that do not always align.
some common jiang cheng fandom roasts, categorized by me:
"jiang cheng is selfish," "jiang cheng only cares about his own reputation," "jiang cheng doesn't understand reciprocity or the concept of repaying debts," "jiang cheng is spiteful and hateful and unfair," "jiang cheng could have easily had yunmeng jiang help the wen remnants, he just didn't want to because he's a hater," etc.
"no one respects jiang cheng (and he deserves it)," "jiang cheng didn't accomplish anything," "wei wuxian's golden core was 80 years more advanced than jiang cheng's," "yunmeng jiang's success is due to wei wuxian, not jiang cheng," "jiang cheng is an inferior/mid-tier cultivator at best," etc.
a pattern emerges: jiang cheng is #Evil and his #Evil has the capacity to hurt others (ie. wei wuxian, no one else matters lol); therefore, jiang cheng must be at least somewhat capable of materializing his decisions into reality. however, wei wuxian is also supposed to The Best There Ever Was and the fandom's specialest little boy, so jiang cheng also cannot be more competent than wei wuxian. in fact, the more incompetent he is, the better, because incompetent people are Easy To Roast and the real purpose of this exercise is to bash jiang cheng. jiang cheng has to be evil so we can bash his moral character, but not so evil that wei wuxian caring about him and protecting him starts to cast shade upon wei wuxian's moral character. jiang cheng has to be incompetent so we can bash his failures, but not so incompetent such that he becomes unable to effectively act on his evil.
now, let's look at how these claims might contradict each other.
consider the claim "no one respects jiang cheng (and he deserves it)" in conjunction with the claim "jiang cheng could have easily had yunmeng jiang help the wen remnants, he just didn't want to because he's a hater." the latter is the single most common criticism of jiang cheng. the former is a hot take i saw a few months ago as a potential explanation as to why everyone seems to call jiang cheng by his birth name and not his courtesy name.
think about it: MDZS repeatedly establishes that how capable you are of protecting yourself and your people, as well as how willing others are to hear you out, is directly correlated with how much respect you command from your peers and from society; furthermore, "respect" flows from political power: if you are powerful and people recognize you as powerful (two things that may be considered synonymous, given that the existence of political power is made possible in part by popular consensus of its existence), then people will naturally afford you more respect, even if purely to serve their own ends. therefore, if no one respects jiang cheng, then jiang cheng cannot be said to have a lot of political power. if jiang cheng does not have a lot of political power, then - given that the faction wei wuxian pissed off with his actions is incredibly powerful - jiang cheng as a political leader does not have the ability to take in and protect the wen remnants from lanling jin. therefore, if no one respects jiang cheng, then jiang cheng could not in fact have easily stood by wei wuxian's side; these two claims cannot simultaneously be true.
imo, the people who try to argue at once that jiang cheng is evil and that jiang cheng is weak/incompetent do so less because they understand his character or even because they're trying to analyze this piece of media, and moreso because they've already made up their minds that This Guy Sucks Actually and are therefore trying to slap every negative adjective in the book onto him. in the same way that many of the same people will argue that "[trait A]=good, wei wuxian=good, therefore wei wuxian has [trait A]," these people will blithely argue that "[trait B]=bad, jiang cheng=bad, therefore jiang cheng has [trait B]" - all without realizing that, in the pursuit of their #canon haterade, they've merrily meandered off the path of canon and basic logic and into the territory of pure bullshit. this instinct to assign every bad trait under the sun to jiang cheng is also what i suspect drives people to call him, a character who does not seek romantic and/or sexual connections with women anytime onscreen, an incel. seriously, guys, words mean things.
sorry to go off on your post, op, especially about a largely unrelated topic. "Schrödinger's sect" was just a really good way to describe an irritating fandom phenomenon i've observed for a while.
Since I'm being jumped by JC antis for pointing out their double standards, let’s dissect the debts owed by Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian, shall we?
Wei Wuxian's Debt to the Jiang Clan:
Wei Wuxian’s debt to the Jiang Clan is immense by ancient Chinese standards. He was saved, taken in, raised, and trained by them, essentially given a new life and a future as a cultivator. In traditional chinese culture, this kind of debt would require a lifetime of loyalty and service to repay. However, Wei Wuxian chose to protect the Wen Remnants, a decision driven by his personal moral beliefs and sense of justice, effectively putting his principles over his obligations to the Jiang Clan. This choice made it impossible for him to repay his debt in the way ancient values would have dictated, as he directly went against Jiang Cheng's leadership and the interests of the Jiang Clan.
Jiang Cheng's Debt to the Wen Siblings:
Jiang Cheng’s debt to Wen Qing and Wen Ning is also significant—they saved his life and ensured his parents' bodies were returned with dignity. The expected repayment from him would traditionally involve some form of reciprocal protection or aid, such as offering them sanctuary, advocating for their safety, or using his influence to speak on their behalf. However, as the new leader of the Jiang Clan struggling to rebuild after the Sunshot Campaign, his first duty was to his own clan's survival. Repaying this personal debt to the Wen siblings would have required protecting the Wen Remnants, which would have risked his clan's stability and political standing. In the end, his obligations as a sect leader took priority.
The Double Standard:
So here’s the issue, antis love to criticize Jiang Cheng for not sacrificing everything to repay the Wen siblings, judging him by the standard of traditional cultural values. But when it comes to Wei Wuxian, they switch to a modern standard claiming "children aren’t expected to repay their caretakers," to dismiss his debt to the Jiang Clan. If we’re judging both characters by the same standard of "repaying debts," the fact is, both made choices based on their circumstances. Jiang Cheng prioritized his clan's survival, and Wei Wuxian chose his moral beliefs. To condemn one while excusing the other is just hypocritical.
#mdzs#jiang cheng#yanyan speaks#long post#thoughts currently percolating about how Fandom Hated Characters tend to get rated along 2 simultaneous axes:#Evil and Incompetent#as aligning with the two moral systems described above#jiggy gets all the Evil points and negative Incompetent points bc the haters assign to him a level of hypercompetence that seems unrealisti#su she gets a decent amount of Evil points and a ton of Incompetent points bc he's henchman coded#funnily enough mxtx herself tries to assign wen chao and jin zixun both a high Evil score and a high Incompetent score#which is probably why they read like one-dimensional cartoon villains lmao
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