#'i don't think i'm a man but i've been on the brink of death fighting monsters for five years running so idrc about that right now'

[leaflingsound]

thinking about genderfluid/trans fem steve again (happens at least once every six months for the past seven years, now) and how much I need him to have a total breakdown pre-realization where he just absolutely fucks up his hair. I'm talkin dull scissors in the shower at 3am levels of fucking it up. and then he sits there on the cold tile floor in his big empty house with wet tufts of hair clinging to his skin and cries for 45 minutes straight like a little kid who wants their parents, because he can't tell which way is up anymore and doesn't know what to do.

[befuddled-calico-whump]

Augusnippets Day 22: Tearful Goodbye

cw: past torture, captivity

previous // Riot Kings AU Masterlist //

for the @augusnippets challenge // word count: 581

=~=~=

They cuffed his hands in front of him when he asked, and it's honestly more than Dan hoped for. He has five minutes alone, the pair of guards that will escort him to Mainfleet barricading the medbay door to prevent him from running.

He won't. He can't.

Wes has drifted in and out of consciousness for the past week; Swift had seen him to the brink of death, but he's held on. It shows on both counts. Bandages or bruises cover most of his skin, and one of the medics had shaved off his matted hair to get at some nasty head wounds.

That last bit may be the most gut-wrenching. Wes has had his hair dyed since they joined the Riot Kings; he's always taken care of it, always taken the time to re-color it when the brown started to creep through. The loss of it makes him look hollow somehow. Less alive.

Dan feels about as empty as Wes looks. The only reason he's on his feet at all is because he needs to be, because if he would've given in to the pain and exhaustion both of them would be doomed. He hasn't allowed himself a second to process much of anything yet. What he escaped, what he's resigned to, what he's left with.

Five minutes.

He's putting this off. If he thinks about it, he’s afraid he'll break down, have to be dragged away weeping. Dan tries to swallow the lump in his throat, and moves to the bed, cupping Wes’s cheek with a chained hand.

“Hey.”

When Wes’s eyes open, there's a clarity there, and Dan is glad. He doesn't think he could do this if Wes were locked in delirium. He reaches up to lay a hand over Dan’s.

“Hey,” he croaks, then frowns. “Wh’s wrong?”

They haven't been left alone together since day one, always a guard or a medic, or both. Or maybe Wes just sees it on his face.

“I'm..” He swallows again. The lump won't go away. “They're taking me today. “ I don't know if I'll see you again.

“What? Where?”

He's not going to sugarcoat it. “Prison, probably.” But he's not above lying. “I'll be okay.”

“Dan… th-they can't—”

“I don't have a choice.” He won't fight, won't run. He'll comply to the best of his ability. He squeezes Wes's hand, silent for a moment. “They're sending you home.”

“They're… no, Dan—”

“You'll be safe. I've been talking to the captain. As long as I comply—”

“Why would you—?”

“This is the only way.” If Wes is sent to prison, he will die. On Arrow, he'll be free. Monitored, but taken care of. 

One of the guards raps on the door, and a pang runs through him. Not now, not yet, don't—

His eyes sting, and he hurries to wipe away any tears. “It's time. I have to go.”

“Please. Please, Danny, please don't do this.” His fingers curl around Dan's, refusing to let him go.

“Promise me you'll stay out of trouble,” he says, like he's only going away for a little while, like he'll be right back.

He won't. He'll never…

The guard knocks again, but Dan ignores it, bending over the bed to embrace Wes, trying not to hold him too tight as the other man sobs into his shoulder.

“I'm sorry,” he breathes against Wes's ear. “I'm sorry.”

“Please don't die. Please… I need you to come back.”

“I will. I promise.”

He's not above lying.

[sometimesraven]

[slides into your dms] hello i'm coming to you with this because you're the only one of my dash who will have the context to consider this but...

karlach in a dead by daylight crossover where the entity snatches her on the brink of death to become a killer.

thoughts?

Oh, interesting. Dare I say evil? It's an idea I've never even considered but now I'm considerin' it

Functionally as a Barbarian I'm sure her gameplay would be reminiscent of the Oni (honestly realistically she'd probably be a skin for him if she got added to the game) with a rage meter that allows her to instadown a Survivor if she hits them during it. I don't think she'd be as fast as the Oni in a Rage though, but maybe she'd also gain immunity to Blind while she's in it. Maybe it would fill up based on how long she's in Chase for rather than blood, which would be an excellent looping foil but still workable for the survivor.

Visually she'd probably be a lot more scarred up, maybe with some new tattoos styled after the Entity as marks of new ownership. Her engine might beat black or perhaps look a little more orange and ichorous like the Blight.

There's a bit of lore that I can't remember if it's fanon or canon but it says that the Entity fucks up, tortures and/or mutilates its Killers if they defy it, so I reckon Karlach would have a few more scars. Maybe that's what the new tattoos are. Maybe one of her eyes is blackened or her broken horn is.

Of course, then there's the Backstory(tm) which i went mad with as soon as I read this ask. The Entity feeds on the loss of hope, so I had to imagine in what circumstance K would completely lose that spark she has through the game. My thoughts, of course, turned to the possibility of her having to return to Avernus after everything she's been through in-game.

--

The stench of Avernus had almost become comfortable. Familiar. There had been hope, once, that she would return home to Baldur's Gate. To life. But that hope had died somewhere down here and was rotting with the rest of the corpses she had left behind.

Karlach could barely remember who she was before, nor how many eternities had passed in the grip of this endless Blood War. Her skin was no longer her own, marred and marked by claims of ownership and scars alike. Flames licked at her arms, her legs, her breasts, burning fingers never leaving her be. Her chest, hollowed and replaced with infernal machinery, churned and rumbled in time with the ceaseless war drums. The only company she had were her comrades doomed to die, and the devils who owned her every breath and memory.

Her axe plunged into the skull of another lesser demon, feeling the easy crunch as it tore through bone; the weight of the blade as it was dragged down by the corpse before it lifted free with a spurt of blackened blood. She would have been ashamed, once, of the pleasure this brought her. The power. The only control she had down here -- to choose her targets well and kill them swiftly by any means she chose. After everything she'd sacrificed, that control was the only reward she could cling to.

She blinked, and the demon became a person. A young man, broken in the grass, light missing from his glassy eyes as they stared at her, widened and frozen in the terror of his own death. She remembered, then, the tears in her companions' eyes as they sent her back to Avernus after so long trying to find a cure for her failing heart engine.

She remembered the despair coursing through her as she realised she had no other option.

She remembered fighting her way through the hordes again, losing the vigour she had always fought with before. No more rage. No more hope. Just despair and bitterness at the cards she had been dealt.

Perhaps she grew a little sloppy. A little careless. Let in a strike that should have been easy to parry. Allowed the demon's blade to tear through her flesh. Allowed the pain; the only thing left to remind her she had ever been free.

She remembered the panic as blood clogged her throat and choked her breaths. What had she done? Was this really how it would end, alone here in the darkness to be forgotten like every other Gods-damned creature in the ash?

She expected the fires to take her. She remembered the thick, dark fog that blackened the air around her instead, carrying her somewhere unknown.

Her new war. Her new home.

--

oops i posted this on AO3 as well because crossposting is good posting

[polyhexian]

Ah okay I have an idea for Jasper's mental health journey in Eventually.

I've got two meta reasons for why Jasper should be mostly-mentally-stable. The first is Hunter, obviously; the kid's going through it, and he needs this new parental figure in his life to be, like, okay. As delightful as Jasper's breakdown in MH has been, it would be super bad for everyone involved if his mental health was anywhere near that point in Eventually. The second reason is CAMILA, who just became a mother of 6 and absolutely does not deserve to also be shoehorned into playing therapist for a grown man. I love the idea of Camila and Jasper being friends, and Camila deserves to have a friend who, while definitely traumatized, is also mostly on top of his shit. Once he's no longer unconscious on her couch I think Jasper would be a huge help around the house and with the kids and he and Camila should be the responsible adults supporting EACH OTHER, so we don't want him to be a hidden wreck or a ticking time bomb.

So the first few years after his "death" Jasper reads parenting books as a coping mechanism. It helps him visualize where Hunter's at in his development. Every so often he thinks "he's probably taking his first steps right now" or "he should be speaking with a few words per sentence by now" and it's sad but it helps.

But eventually the baby books run out (is there really much of a market for them past, like, age 5?), and also Jasper is well aware of the fact that he left his child in an extremely bad situation. He knows what Belos is capable of, and while he has hope his kid PROBABLY won't ever see his own spinal cord, he's not stupid enough to think that being called "nephew" will actually protect Hunter from all of it. Child abuse is a thing, and it's a thing that's usually perpetrated by, y'know, family members.

There aren't any books entitled How To Unindoctrinate Your Estranged Child Soldier, but that doesn't stop him. He reads everything he can find on the subject and learns about allllll the things. Physical abuse, emotional abuse, gaslightning, manipulation, CSA. (He hopes to the Titan he won't need to know about that last one, but then he wonders if it'd be preferable to, like, being beaten to the edge of death and dragged back from the brink with healing magic multiple times, and then he just feels awful that he's even trying to decide what the "better" sort of abuse to endure would be.)

And pretty regularly he happens upon a paragraph that is, like, scarily relevant to his own lived experience and he needs to reevaluate some things. Maybe he tries to brush it off, but the more he interacts with Hunter, the less he's able to do that.

Book: Believing that love is transactional is, in fact, a sign of trauma, and not good or healthy.

Jasper: …haha, right, okay.

Hunter, at their next fight: I am LOYAL to Emperor Belos, I OWE him, and I HAVE to keep working hard so he'll LOVE me!

Jasper: Oh my Titan okay yeah this is really upsetting to hear and deal with, actually.

Sometimes after their fights Jasper has to just…go lay down and stare at the ceiling for a while before re-reading his self-help books and grumbling while he takes notes like ugh, FINE, they were RIGHT. He and Hunter end up working on their issues after their reunion because they see themselves reflected in each other and they HATE it.

Jasper: Look, I'M not important. YOU'RE the one who's important here and I WILL sacrifice myself for you.

Hunter: Dear Titan this is infuriating.

Luz: Now YOU know how it feels.

Hunter: Maybe it'd be better if I'd just died, that way I'd stop causing problems for everyone I love.

Jasper: *deep breath*

At some point in the Human Realm Hunter has a bad mental health day and locks himself in the basement, and Camila finds Jasper sitting at the kitchen table and she's like, you okay? And he's like, I've read a lot about this, but all my books and notes are back in the Demon Realm and I feel like I'm flying blind and have no idea what I'm doing. And she's like, actually that's pretty par for the course when it comes to being a parent. And he's like, oh really? That's kinda reassuring, thanks. I'll just wait and see if he wants to talk about it later.

omg.... eventually!jasper is like... he's so isolated, he doesnt have anyone he trusts and he doesnt have a single person he'd call a friend. he's fallen back on the same thing he did under belos in a way- there is one single driving motivation in his life and absolutely nothing else matters. whether it was serving the emperor or saving hunter, he HAS dedicated everything inside of him to one single person at a time. probably not great, but! he could be doing worse. also, MH jasper is having a lot of breakdowns, but its also been less than two years for him lmfao. for eventually!jasper its been sixteen!! hes had a lot of time to gather his shit together

im actually imagining the isolation is less like. immediately of a problem because hes fairly used to it. he only ever had one friend before and he didnt much trust him either, not with his secrets. so being alone is... well, just what hes used to. hes also probably like. deeply in hiding wherever he is. he doesnt have magic and his face is all fucked up and if word got back to belos about it, he would totally suspect if not outright know.

ive kind of got this mental image of- you know at the end of the time travel episode when belos goes into his little cave house and its. like. hes got normal house stuff in there. like he has shirts hanging to dry on the cave walls. sure theres like evil grimwalker stuff in there too but its the domestic items i find hysterical. so like. im imagining jasper has found himself a nice secluded cave to bunker down in but also hes had sixteen years to straight of domesticate that place. there are definitely couches in there. hes got a CB. hes probably got running water and hes stealing electricity from the neighbors. and cable. and then just books fucking everywhere. jesus christ. theyre everywhere. what else would he fucking do with his time; hunter isnt allowed out of the castle on weekdays. that is. so much time to just Do Nothing.

he probably does hang out with the CATTs on non hunter missions too, if only because some of them will fuck over belos which he actively wants, or has no impact on the hunter situation either way, but improving his relationship with the CATTs before he inevitably pisses them off again is always a good idea. also, its something to fucking do.

god yeah just. camila with this bizarre man in her house. hes not having breakdowns, he doesnt like not understand that other people have feelings, hes mostyl together, hes just fucking weird. he hasnt been around people for this long in basically his entire life. hes not wearing a mask and hes never spent so much time without a mask in his entire life. hunter is here???? hes spent 16 years trying to save hunter and uhhhh shit i did it. i am not entirely sure what to do now. turns out you can spend sixteen years planning out this reunion and then it all go out the window immediately. also hes been living in a cave and hes forgotten basic rules of being in a house sometimes. hes very POLITE and gracious to camila especially like, i imagine both him and hunter frequently thank her and offer To Do Anything She Needs and its like. so fucking funny to see them both just Like That.

omg hunter gets to actually meet hawk hunter. "haha yeah he saved my life. hes like three hundred years old and he cant talk. look at this gnarly scar hes got. he bites me a lot"

[dilfsalltheway]

I've been working on this plot for a while but I don't know if I should go ahead and start writing it. I'm not sure anyone would read it

**Title:** "Shattered Bonds"

**Setting:** Post-apocalyptic world of "The Walking Dead," where survival is a daily struggle, and trust is a rare commodity. The story takes place in a small, fortified community that has recently come under the control of Negan and the Saviors.

**Plot Summary:**

*Part 1: The Enemy Within*

- **Protagonist:** A fiercely independent woman named Clara, who has survived in this brutal world by relying on her strength and resourcefulness. She lost her family to the undead and has since been a vocal opponent of the Saviors, seeing Negan as the embodiment of tyranny.

- Clara initially views Negan as the enemy, leading a group of rebels within the community to oppose his rule. The tension escalates when she is captured during a rebellion attempt and brought before Negan, who is both charismatic and terrifying. He sees potential in her defiance and decides to keep her close, believing he can break her spirit.

*Part 2: Unlikely Allies*

- As Clara spends time with Negan, she begins to see glimpses of the man behind the brutality. They engage in heated debates, with Clara challenging his methods and Negan revealing the burdens of leadership and the loneliness of power. Clara discovers that Negan has a tragic past, having lost loved ones before the apocalypse, which softens her view of him.

- Meanwhile, Negan is drawn to Clara's fire and spirit. He admires her strength but is conflicted by their opposing views. Their banter shifts from hostile to flirtatious, creating a tension that neither can deny.

*Part 3: The Heart of Darkness*

- Just as Clara starts to let her guard down, a catastrophic event shakes the community: a massive walker horde breaches their defenses, leading to chaos and loss. In the midst of the chaos, Clara witnesses Negan making a heartbreaking decision to save his own people, forcing her to confront the moral ambiguities of survival.

- Clara is left heartbroken, feeling betrayed by the man she was beginning to understand. She finds solace in her fellow rebels, who encourage her to continue the fight against Negan and the Saviors.

*Part 4: Choices and Sacrifices*

- In the aftermath, Clara learns about Negan's own sacrifices during the attack. He lost people he cared about as well, and the weight of his choices begins to take a toll on him. Clara and Negan's paths cross once more as they navigate the fallout of the attack, and Clara is forced to confront her growing feelings for him.

- A pivotal moment occurs when Clara saves Negan from a group of walkers, putting her life on the line and forcing her to acknowledge the bond they’ve formed. Negan, in turn, begins to see Clara not just as a rebel, but as someone he truly cares for.

*Part 5: The Breaking Point*

- Just when Clara thinks she can reconcile her feelings for Negan, she discovers a dark secret about his past actions that resulted in the deaths of innocent people. This revelation sends her into a spiral of betrayal and anger. She confronts Negan, leading to a heartbreaking argument where both reveal their vulnerabilities, fears, and desires.

- Heartbroken, Clara decides to leave the community, seeking to carve out her own path away from Negan and the memories of what they could have been.

*Part 6: Tragedy and Redemption*

- In the climax, Clara’s new group encounters a ruthless faction that threatens to annihilate everything she has fought for. In a desperate race against time, Negan realizes he cannot let Clara face this alone. He gathers his forces and goes to her rescue, proving that he can change and fight for what is right.

- The final battle is intense and tragic, resulting in heavy losses on both sides. Clara is gravely injured, and in a moment of vulnerability, she confesses her love for Negan as she lies on the brink of death. He promises to protect her and the world they’re trying to build, showing the depth of his transformation.

*Epilogue: A New Dawn*

- The story concludes with Clara recovering and reflecting on the journey they’ve taken. She has learned to balance her anger and love, and Negan has shed some of his darker tendencies in his quest for redemption. Together, they start to rebuild the community, learning to trust each other while navigating the complexities of their relationship.

- The final scene hints at a new threat on the horizon, leaving their future uncertain but filled with hope.

**Themes:** The story explores themes of trust, redemption, the moral complexities of survival, and the transformative power of love amidst tragedy and heartbreak.

[d3l3t3d-deactivated]

random niche inner turmoil ahead (tw: sh)

When I started doing drag 3 years ago, I was a horribly depressed, anxious, lonely, cis lesbian who was getting out of a bad relationship. I spent half my time living in a dorm with a roommate who didn't like me, and the other half with my parents who abused me. I viewed drag as a outlet for my anger, an alternative to self harm (while still having really self destructive practices in drag), a way to express my queerness & masculinity, and a personification of the villain I had been made to feel like I was my whole life up to that point. I was deeply sheltered, and had a fascination with what I knew of raves & nightlife from comics and the internet, however had never actually experienced it firsthand being under 21. I developed a character who was this aggressively straight, washed up, gay for pay, dirty scumbag scene guy. He was womanizing, unhinged, & violent, deeply inspired by my own struggles with relationships, abuse, & suppressed masculinity/queerness. The man was a ghost, constantly dying/on the brink of death, because I myself wanted to be dead. Johnny the Homicidal Maniac, Dot Dot Curve, Brokencyde, like, every Wes Craven movie, basically anything hilariously violent and grotesque was my inspiration. This was Shean King.

Over three years later, So much has changed. I've learned to manage my emotions, the anger, the anxiety, the depression, they are still battles I fight every day, but I've learned to cope and regulate myself, and would consider myself a pretty happy guy. I've come out as trans, and live life every day as a gay man who loves drag. I've got friends, weird queer friends who I love for who they are and they return that love a million times over. I've moved away from my parents, rarely speak to them, and am learning to recognize abuse and cut the people who hurt me from my life. I club, I travel, I pursue what makes me happy and abandon what makes me suffer, and am living my life in a way 19 year old me couldn't have ever imagined. Basically, I'm a completely different guy now, and the outlet that Shean King was is obsolete. The hurt, the loneliness, & the suffering I faced during that time will never stop being a part of me, but that part is so so small now, that I don't need this punching bag imaginary friend to cope & build confidence. I've coped, I'm confident, so what now?

I feel like I'm at such a transitional point in my drag. Shean King is no longer a character I play, he's just me. My friends don't call me Nat, they call me Shean! The character of "Shean King" has become something totally different, and I'm trying to figure out what I want out of an alter-ego. I want to explore fashion, I want to be the biggest faggot I possibly can be, I want to make weird, balls-to-the-wall art, I want to feel affirmed in my gender while still exporting parts i don't get to in my day-to-day life, I want to be a force of nature, I want to be a figure in this incredible community, I want to be beloved, and show my art to the whole world, I want to feel like a fucking drop dead beautiful supermodel rock star. My art is now about joy in being trans, joy in being part of a vast, loving community, standing up for myself and others, and being a crossdressing freak and loving every second of it. My character is young, fresh, larger than life, colorful, faggy, and still inspired by the early internet age, absurdist humor, and the comedy of clout-chasing-attention-whoring, but not defined by it. Early in my drag I thought of myself as a black-and-white horror comic antagonist, but today I think I'm like a CGI popstar or something. I'm some kind of vocaloid, I'm daft punk, I'm the Cresendolls, but like the next generation of this idea. I'm tired of living life in black and white.

All this being said, I wonder if the label of "drag king" still fits for what I'm doing. Lately I've been being invited to all king group chats, collectives, shows, hangouts, and the likes and feeling like the odd man out. I've been being referred to as an "AFAB performer" as a synonym for "Drag Kings & Bio Queens" which I have to say I HATE. It's well meaning but nonetheless poor langue that just makes me feel like shit. These "all king" spaces are exactly that, well meaning but make me feel like shit. A lot of drag kings are trans masc, and a lot are queer cis women as well. This makes "all kings" spaces unintentionally segregated by genitals, the EXACT OPPOSITE of what drag should stand for. Why would I want to be in a space void of drag queens? My boyfriend is a queen! Many of my best friends are queens! Are we segregating a space by style of artwork, or assigned gender at birth? I'm deeply uninterested in recreating the gender binary but ~opposite~, and additionally, I do NOT want to be thought of as a "woman dressing as a man". I am a man in drag. I love drag queens, and kings, and things, and DRAG. Being a drag queen feels so open as well, there's bearded queens, and monster queens, and there's something affirming too about the idea that as a man, when i'm in drag I'm a queen. My drag as it is is already such a femme portrayal of masculinity, I'm some faggot-ass scene guy, I'm a supermodel, I'm an experimental artist, if the "character" of shean was in drag he'd be a queen. I had to ask myself, If I were to start drag tomorrow, what would I be? And if I started drag tomorrow, I'd be a queen.

So why can't I start drag tomorrow? A core foundation of my art is to be free, to experience joy and do whatever I want. I've told myself over and over that as soon as drag stops being fun, I'll quit. Well, being the sad, lonely, washed-up scene guy has stopped being fun, so I quit! I want to have my art be as vibrant and full of life as I am. I've built up a bit of a legacy for myself already, I've hosted shows, won 3 competitions, gotten big bookings, and made a name for myself! Myself, Shean King! But the fears holding me back from making this switch are loosing the legacy I've built up for myself, loosing the weird horror-comic style that made me unique, and not being taken seriously as a queen-- being seen still as that cursed term, "an AFAB performer" or just "experimenting with queen drag". The thing is, I don't expect my drag to change all that much as a result of this new label. I expect my drag to change and grow with me, and I expect myself to become more seasoned and skilled with makeup, costumes, and performance as time goes on, however the core of it all (ME!) remains the same. I'm still designing the costumes, making the mixes, writing the poems & captions, everything goes through the filter that is me. Additionally, I don't really express an exaggerated version of ANY gender in drag I think. I'm just a guy in weird costumes, I do draw on a shitty little mustache, but that's about it, and I don't plan to stop. Really all that is changing in my mind is the label, the presentation of it all. A label that feels more open and less dysphoric for me. A label I won't have to explain to people. I guess another fear of mine is people feeling like I "betrayed" kingness in a way. I know there are younger kings who look up to me as a drag king, and I know there are older kings who look upon me with pride, knowing they paved the way for me to be there. And that's true, they did, and I love and loved being a drag king, but above that I love being a drag artist and a trans man, and I want to do what's best for me in and out of drag, not just in it.

[dndidgaf]

I never get asks, so i'm just gonna answer them all. Wall of text, my answers under the cut

PLAYER

Race: I don't think that I've ever played a common race before. I default to uncommon/homebrew races for better roleplay.

Class: Rogue....... Maybe Artificer.

Playtest: I'm going into a new campaign, and I can't wait to try out the Chaneler class (I definitely spelled that wrong). I can't remember who it's by.

Party Comp: Sometimes. If my party is really tanky and gets themselves on the brink of death a lot, I might consider being a Cleric or Bard. On the other hand, if my party is mostly spellcasters, I might take on the role of tank. In both cases, I only do it in drastic situations. My usual character is an ambush, stealthy, works behind the scenes kind of character. Level One: I heard about it through friends and we make a group. They really helped me out in making a character, and it was a fun first session. Horrible character build and usage on my part though. Skill: I'm good at roleplay and combat, although I find combat more fun. I guess I would say that my specialty is teamwork. I look at my party's strengths and weaknesses and work around and with them. I also usually work better with smaller groups. I do add flair into combat though, like that time I sliced that priest in half and peeled him like a banana.

Scheduling: Long campaigns, by far. Oneshots are fun, but the angst that comes with longer campaigns takes the cake.

Feat: I roll my dice until they hit a low number, preferably under 5. I then keep that die untouched until I need to roll something important, then use the die. Rolls high every time. I always forget to do it though.

Nat 20: My friend AJ (player) rolled a 27 (19 + 8) on a deception check trying to convince an NPC that they don't exist. Charlie (the character) went invisible and all proof of their existence was wiped from the face of the earth. NPCs and PCs alike had no memory of Charlie. Charlie stayed non-existent for the rest of the session until at a critical battle, where they scored a crit against the enemy (not quite the big bad, but close) and was the reason we won the fight.

Initiative: In my next campaign (I'm the DM), I've planted a traitor. This traitor is going to kill a child. I can't wait to roleplay the child being killed by her role model, who is a scummy, greasy, rat man. I can't wait to kill my players' hearts.

Crit Fail: Somehow, no. I've come close, but I've never had a character death.

Diamond: No resurrection. My party's character deaths have all been before anyone had access to the Revivify spell. After that, we could handle ourselves enough that we didn't need it.

Backup: I have a binder full of cool characters that could fit into any situation, but I usually have at least 3 backup characters specifically for one campaign. Don't judge, I get bored easily.

Dungeon Court: Back when I was a kid, my dad tried to run a dnd game with the rest of the immediate family, which consisted of my mom, me, and my brother. Thing is, my dad didn't know anything about how DnD works, and he was drunk and high. That was not a fun game.

Dice: I have a horrible dice curse. Any dice that I touch or are on my person for more than 10 minutes doesn't roll higher than a 10. Expensive dice tend to roll better. Once I get a new set, I immediately hold it over a candle and chant "Natural Twenty" for 10 minutes while the candle is surrounded by crystals and flowers. After this, I leave it on the Dice Altar, highest side up, for a week. This usually rids it of it's curse temporarily. For a typical set, I have to renew it every month. Considering that I'm a dice goblin and that I own over 50 sets (I can't afford more :')) , I set aside a day to purify all my dice sets and rotate them on the altar.

DUNGEON MASTER

Leveling: I start my party at 3-5, depending on experience. I use milestones; it's good motivation to stay on the plot. I'm DMing for 7th level players rn.

Prep: I get the bare bones of the story all written out, then just improvise and wing it. It goes better that way. Less DM Depression.

Screen: Character sheets of PCs and NPCs, dice, laptop for homebrew, and speakers for ambiance and music.

TPK: Yes, unfortunately. I decided to let all characters come back as reborn, which saved the party, kept some continuity, and added some good roleplay.

Session Zero: I usually ask players for two flaws and one secret. This keeps things interesting, as I can exploit these. It makes inspiration easier to give. I also love horror campaigns, so I usually ask players what their boundaries or triggers are. I want my players to have fun, so I do what I can to make that happen.

Homebrew: I love making magic items or finding them on tumblr. I use a lot of the stuff people put out. I also have an initiative system where players in blocks of five (1-5, 6-10, 11-15, 16-20, 20-25, you get the jist) take their turns together. It makes combat more fun and dynamic.

CHARACTER

My character's name is Doodle. He is a warforged rogue that escaped from a facility known as A.R.G.O. He was never told what the acronym means. He wears a red scarf and a beige handkerchief over his right eye from a past injury.

Background: He usually uses his time on self-maintenance. Tighten loose screws, fix oil leaks, adjust lenses, buff or replace plating. After an accident with his lens caused it to give him shattered vision and migraines for about two months, he's not taking the chances again. He also loves talking to another PC named Charlie (same one as before)

Vibe: Doodle is the polite one of the group. In social interactions, he ends up becoming a voice of reason. He has anger issues though, and he tries to conceal them, but his only coping mechanism is killing. He was made for it, after all. Our party doesn't discuss dynamics, but I wish we did.

Downtime: We don't get much downtime in game. We usually hop from one adventure to the next, trying to stop the big bad as fast as possible. In his few spare moments, he meditates to calm his anger. Sometimes this doesn't work very well though, so he has to resort to... other means.

Secret: For context, Doodle was kidnapped by the big bad and a clone replaced him. Doodle was tortured, and it scarred him for life. He is merciless in battle, like he is trying to pay back the pain that was inflicted on him. Anger is replacing is fear, and he disgusts himself. Doodle acts nonchalant, but he is secretly resentful that his party members didn't notice and left him to be tortured for weeks.

Heart: He hopes for a better life. One where he doesn't have to fight. That faint linger of hope is what keeps him going. This is easily used against him, though.

End: His perfect ending would be to defeat the ARGO company, settle down, and find family. He is aro/ace, so he isn't interested in marriage or children, but he still loves the idea of spending time with his friend's children.

If you've gotten this far, thanks for reading! It means a lot

d&d player asks

FOR THE PLAYER

Race: What's your favorite race to play? Is there a race you default to or play more often?

Class: What's your favorite class to play?

Playtest: What class (or subclass) do you want to try out?

Party Comp: Do you think about party composition while building a character? What role do you usually fill in your party, if any?

Level One: What was your first experience with D&D? How did you hear about it? What was your first game like?

Skill: Do you prefer RP, combat, or something else? Is there a part of the game you consider yourself best at?

Scheduling: Do you prefer to play in long campaigns, oneshots, or something in between?

Feat: What's one habit, trick, tip, etc. you picked up from another player?

Nat 20: What's the most memorable RP scene you've been a part of?

Initiative: What's an RP scene you're looking forward to playing?

Crit Fail: Have you ever had a character death? What happened?

Diamond: Have you ever participated in a character resurrection (for your own character or someone at the table)? What happened?

Backup: Do you design backup characters? What's your process? Have you ever had to use one?

Dungeon Court: What's the worst D&D experience you've ever had?

Dice: Do you have any dice rituals? Preferences? Collections? Does such thing as dice luck really exist?

FOR THE DM

Leveling: What's your ideal starting party level? What leveling system do you use? What level are your currently (or did you most recently) DMing for?

Prep: How much prep work do you do? How far out do you prep?

Screen: What do you usually keep behind your DM screen?

TPK: Have you ever had a game go completely off the rails? TPK? How did you adjust?

Session Zero: Is there anything specific you ask your players to have before you start playing (e.g. a secret about their character, a backstory event, etc.)?

Homebrew: Do you have any table rules or homebrews you use? What are they?

FOR THE CHARACTER (A/N: You may want to specify a character for these!)

Background: Does your PC get up to anything that you don't narrate often? Any background habits, activities, plots? Do you share these through other avenues (e.g. a group chat, table cross-talk, posting online)?

Vibe: How does your character get along with the party? Does your group talk about party dynamics outside the game?

Downtime: What does your character do in their downtime? How do you bring this up during gameplay?

Secret: Is there anything that you know about your character but your character doesn't know? What is it? How did you come up with this secret?

Heart: What drives your character? Do they have a theme, question, mission, etc. that they're holding onto? How did you pick it for them?

End: What's the ideal ending for your character's story and the game? Are these the same, or different?

[lixxen]

Killer (Adrian Chase x Male!Reader)

Part One - NSFW Headcanons - Playlist

--

Here's part two! I'm still debating on uploading these on AO3. I don't know if I should feed people on there or not.

PS. The official name for this series is Baby, Don't You Cry. Idk if anyone will care, but it's part of my inspiration. And it's not from the top searches. It's from a song in the playlist.

--

Y/n didn't know how he ended up with Vigilante bleeding out on his couch.

That was a lie. He knew exactly how.

He had been walking up to his apartment door when he spotted the criminal slumped against the wall next to the door. Y/n had panicked and dragged him inside of the apartment, kicking the door shut behind him and placing him on the couch. It didn’t take long for panic to set in and Y/n fumbled his phone out and into his bloody hands.

Vigilante watched as Y/n paced around his living room, his phone pressed against his ear as he dialed the only person he could think of.

"Chris, pick up the fucking phone." Y/n all but whined quietly as he tapped his fingers against his mouth.

"You know," Vigilante spoke up from the couch. He had his hand over his stomach, where he was once bleeding. Y/n guessed the blood flow stopped but it still hurt. "I gotta admit. You're pretty cute when you're stressed."

Y/n shot a glance as the man as Chris's phone went to voicemail. Y/n sighed as he clicked off his phone and turned back to vigilante.

"What am I going to do with you?" Y/n asked the man as he walked towards him.

"Well, I'm not bleeding anymore for one. Maybe you could actually patch me up?" Vigilante responded. Just a few minutes ago he seemed on the brink of death, but now he seemed to be calm and fine.

"You're not wrong." Y/n but his lip. "Give me one second."

Y/n went to the bathroom quickly, pulling out his first aid kit. He had originally bought it after Chris kept crashing for the night after fights. He brought it back to the living room as Vigilante started to pull his armor pieces off of his chest.

Y/n stood to stare for a second, watching as Vigilante's chest was now exposed. There were bruises all over his chest along with shallow cuts. Blood was smeared around the cuts and it looked bright against his pale skin. It looked rather bad, but manageable.

Y/n kneeled next to the couch and slowly opened up the first aid kit. He kept glancing at Vigilante and noticed the freckles that splattered his body like stars. It was a nice detail about the man that made him ever so much more attractive. Y/n couldn't help but feel butterflies in his stomach as he watched the injured man move on his couch. He knew he shouldn’t be ogling the hurt man on his couch, but he could blame it on the amount of blood.

"You're staring. Does that mean you find me attractive?" Vigilante asked.

Y/n scoffed at this.

"I'm assessing the damage to your body." Y/n responded. "But if it counts, you have an attractive body."

"Wow. Forward. I like that." Vigilante sounded like he was grinning as he leaned towards Y/n. He pushed himself into a sitting position, making it more apparent he only had his pants and helmet on. It made Y/n feel more self conscious, as he himself wasn’t totally ripped like Vigilante. Not that he was comparing himself.

"You're lucky I found you. If it was the police or Peacemaker your ass would be chewed out and probably in jail." Y/n shook his head, thinking about how Chris would have probably chewed him out before dragging him to jail. Chris was probably going to chew Y/n out for harboring him.

But then again, Chris had mentioned Vigilante before. He said Vigilante was a dumbass whose mind was only on fucking and murder. He mentioned meeting the deranged man and warned Y/n that he was dangerous.

"What's up with you and Peacemaker anyways?" Vigilante asked as Y/n finally started to work on him. "I've seen you two together a lot. It's almost like you're his BFF. Which is impossible, as it is Eagly then it is me."

"If it matters," Y/n pressed a little too hard into a cut as he covered it with a bandaid, making Vigilante hiss in pain. Y/n tried to not revel in the pitiful noise the man had made and moved on. "Chris and I have known each other since the accident with his brother. I was there for him and I tried my best to keep him afloat. I've worked hard to not have Chris become his father."

“He’s never mentioned you by name then. He’s mentioned a friend before, but I just always assumed it was some dickbag he knew from school.” Vigilante watched Y/n as he stitched one of the more deep cuts.

Y/n wanted to know what was going on inside of that head. Whatever it was, it was probably something perverted or stupid. But what does Y/n know. He could be planning to kill Y/n the second he stops helping him.

Y/n decided to focus on just patching him up as quickly and efficiently as he could. Maybe he could convince Vigilante to stay put while he called Chris to ask him what he should do. This was dangerous and Y/n knew it.

“You look like you have a million thoughts in your head.” Vigilante spoke up again. “What’s your name?”

“Y/n. And you?” Y/n knew that he wouldn’t get an actual answer, but it was worth a try.

“Nope. Secret identities are a real thing and need to be respected.” Vigilante shook his head and sounded very serious. “And even if I wanted to tell you, it would put you at risk. Would you want that? You could get killed for that.”

“Mmmhm. I’m close to Peacemaker. If someone wanted me dead, it would have happened by now.” Y/n shook his head and made sure to pull slightly too hard on the stitch, making Vigilante hiss.

“Okay, you’re doing that on purpose now.” Vigilante sounded like he was whining.

“And you’re whining.” Y/n snorted. “I brought you into my apartment out of the kindness of my heart and here you are, complaining that someone who has no medical experience is doing less than perfect.”

“I- I did not say that!” Vigilante moved and Y/n huffed and stopped what he was doing. “Sorry, I’ll stay still.”

“Thank you.” Y/n shook his head and waited until he was situated again before he started again.

The two sat in silence for a few minutes as Y/n finished patching Vigilante up. Y/n sighed as he sat the bloody bandage wrapper on the ground.

“Thank you so much, Y/n.” Vigilante sounded like he was smiling. “I will make sure to never forget how nice you were.”

Y/n watched and leaned back as he watched Vigilante. The man was putting his torso pieces back on, a bit slowly as if to not undo the bandages. Y/n watched as he gingerly did so with almost perfect technique.

Y/n wondered if he did this a lot.

Y/n's phone started to play Chris's special ringtone of Highway to Hell. Vigilante looked at the phone as Y/n picked it off the table and stood back up. Y/n clicked answer and pressed the phone to his ear.

"Chris." Y/n greeted. Y/n could see Vigilante perk up at the name.

"Y/n, what's wrong? You never call. Did something happen to you?" Chris's voice sounded worried and out of breath.

"I uh, I found someone bleeding outside of my apartment complex. I panicked and you were the first person I called before calling an ambulance." Y/n for some reason decided to lie for Vigilante.

Vigilante sighed quietly and relaxed back into the couch.

"Oh. I guess that makes sense. Are you in danger, though? What happened?" Chris seemed to take the excuse.

"I think he was just drunk and got into a fight. Nothing too bad. He might have a concussion." Y/n nodded, as if Chris could see it.

"Damn. I was hoping he had gotten into a fight with some chick and got kicked out." Chris cursed under his breath.

"You're insufferable, Chris. You know that right? Not everything is about sex." Y/n forgot all about the Criminal on his couch as he felt exasperation over Chris's words. "You'd think after that chick you slept with the other day and your coworker turning your stupid ass down that you'd get your head out of your ass and focus on work."

"Hey! What can I say? Mans gotta do what he's gotta do." Chris then paused. "Also, you know that friend I introduced you to at Fennel Fields?"

"The cute nerdy boy who looked two seconds away from fainting after I messed with him? Yeah. What about him?" Y/n tapped his foot.

Vigilante seemed suddenly very interested in the conversation, as he sat back up and leaned forward again. He tilted his head up and Y/n looked down at him.

"Yeah! That one. He said you were very attractive and he wanted to actually talk and get to know you. Which is a LOT for him. He's a total horndog but you'll love him." Chris sounded like he was smiling. "As long as you don't eat him alive. I'm pretty sure he'd love it if you choked him out or something. He's into that shit."

Vigilante must have heard Chris, because he made an undignified noise and stood up.

"That is so unfair that you two get to talk like this about people." Vigilante grumbled it and Y/n shot him a look. Vigilante raised his hands in defense.

"I can't make any promises, Chris. You know how I am. You're lucky you're tough or you'd be chewed up and spat out by now." Y/n smiled. "Well, I think the neighbor's cat is back at my fire escape again so I'm going to let him in. Goodnight, Chris."

"Goodnight, Y/n. And make sure you don't invite strangers into your place." Chris reminded him.

"I won't, dad. Goodbye." Y/n got a goodbye back and he hung up.

"Who were you two talking about?" Vigilante asked as Y/n started to usher him towards the door.

"Chris's friend. He's a guy that Chris apparently befriended recently and he's the younger brother of another friend. Apparently the guy wants to hang out with me." Y/n sighed as they made it to the door.

"Why do you look like you don't want to? He sounded nice." Vigilante shifted his weight as he stopped besides Y/n.

"It feels like Chris is trying to set me up with him, which I don't really mind. But I don't have the best reputation with dating. Like I said, I chew people up and spit them back out." Y/n didn't know why he was saying this to a masked murderer who he fixed up like a broken toy.

"I'd say give it a try. Get to know him. I saw D&D books on your bookshelf and you said he's a nerd. Talk to him about that. I'm sure he'd love that!" Vigilante did a small hand wave.

"Sure. I'll try. Now get the fuck out of my apartment before anyone sees you." Y/n opens the door.

Vigilante nodded and quickly hobbled out and down the hallway. Y/n shut the door and put his back to the door.

This whole night was fucked and he's going to blame Chris for introducing superheroes to his life. Even if this one wasn't caused by Chris.

[jazz-miester]

Hello, I would like to see Prowl with a fem!human who are having a very ugly fight, the others on the team are shocked because they have never seen Prowl that way and try to calm him down, the fight could be due to a jealousy of Prowl that he saw a S/o talking to another man. But then he'll show you who it belongs to. Thanks for reading

Jealousy, Jealousy.

Pairing: Tfa Prowl x Reader

Reader type: Female Human

Song: It will come back-Hozier

Warnings: Angst. Bit spicy and the end lol

An: Sorry it's taken me so long! I've been really busy but I do hope you enjoy this! I also apologize for how short it is!

It was a strange feeling. This anger boiling in his chest. No. Not anger. Another word for it but he can't yet place it yet.

It makes the energon I'm his lines freeze like ice. The emotional side of him is slowly falling apart from his meticulous practice. The logical side of him knew that this was foolish.

But still.

He felt.

He seethed.

That man shouldn't be touching you like that. Shouldn't be making you smile like that. That smile you only gave him.

But then again. Did you not deserve to be with your own kind? Love your own kind. Speak love in a language you grew up in. The kind you starved for rather than learning how his kind loves?

Maybe if he had put a little more thought into this. Maybe if he had done a little more planning.

Maybe. Just maybe.

He wouldn't be on the brink of loosing you.

His former master would be disappointed in the way he was handling this.

This.

The screaming.

"What part of this don't you get Prowl! Am I not even allowed to talk to others now? Are you that insecure in our relationship!" He hated that look on your face. The hurt in your eyes. The wrong kind of flush on your cheeks.

Red hot anger.

"Y/n it's not that. I don't even understand why I'm feeling this! Let alone why!" His voice began to rise. A dangerous tilt in his tone. He was balancing on a knifes edge.

"Then why on God's green earth would you behave like that! The way you acted was less than appropriate. Prowl you should know that I only love you! That I only care about you!" Your teeth bared like so many of the wildlife here on earth. Normally it would be welcomed. The teeth. The smiling. But now.

Animals bare thier teeth when threatened. Or trying to seem intimidating. You.

Were you that mad at him?

He could hear the others muttering in the back. Not trying at all to be subtle in listening to yours and his argument.

He doesn't blame them. No really. Prowl. He doesn't loose his cool like this. Always calm even in the most desperate of situations.

But now. Here? He had yet to feel something like this in a long time.

The kind of desperation that one only feels on the brink of death. Because if he looses you now. Here? Because if his own Primus damned stupidity?

He think he'd actually crave death. Fall for it.

"Because I'm scared of losing you!"

There it was.

The pin dropped.

That.

That's what he was feeling.

Scared. Terrified.

Desperate to keep you.

"You." Prowl paused. Started. Then stopped. Your hand on his.

"Prowl?" Your soft voice. Warmth. The comfort.

"I'm scared of loosing you, my spark." He couldn't look at you. Not here. Not now. Just catching the tail end of Bumblebee and Ratchet dragged him off. The old mech giving Prowl a pointed look.

"You deserve to be with your own kind. Someone who will grow and age with you. Someone who can love you properly. I." You crawled into his lap. Reaching to pull his face towards yours. Removing his visor so you could see his optics. Shiny with unshed tears.

"I was scared I would loose you. Y/n." His lips pressed to yours hesitantly. Then with desperation as you pressed further.

His servo trailed up your thigh and over your ribs. His digit brushing just below your chest.

"Can I show you, my spark. Can I show you my love? For once I am lost for words." You pressed kiss to just chest. Above his spark.

"Only if you allow be to give you mine." A kiss to his lips. Below his optics. "I meant it when I said I only have eyes for you. That I love only you in this manner."

You gasped as he pulled you in close. Shirt lifting over your head before you could blink. His lips pressed above your heart. Trailed up your neck. His hips rocking into yours.

Quickly. Very quickly you made it to the bedroom.

To the mats on his floor.

His voice in your ear.

He had thought he would loose you.

Jealousy. He realized. Jealousy was the emotion he had been brewing on.

[howlingday]

SPOILERS

IN MY OPINION,

(I wanna preface that because people are going to actually argue with each other over this so just to be sure it's understood that it's a different opinion than others.)

Starting from the far end of the spectrum, the Red Lantern Corps would accept members like Neopolitan. Neo is literally living her life dedicated to the death and destruction of Ruby Rose out of revenge. If that isn't Ren Lantern material, I don't know what is.

Next up is the Orange Lantern holder, which is a singular character greedily holding the lantern and protecting it, gaining the powers of the previous lanterns that were killed for it. This cycle of killing others for their powers sounds way too familiar of the story of one Cinder Fall. Cinder is tracking down and killing the Maidens to take away their powers and she is slowly becoming more and more of a monster to do so. Again, the similarities is too coincidental for me.

Last in the far end of the "evil" lantern corps is the Sinestro Corps, who draw their great strength from the power and influence of fear. Now, this is where it gets tricky, because with a world filled to the brim with monsters who are drawn to negative emotions like fear, it's kind of hard to decide. However, the best character I can think of to fit this role was a most recent antagonist. Yup, that's right. I'm talking about General James Ironwood. General Ironwood started off like a decent guy, doing his best to salvage the Kingdom after the Fall of Beacon and rally his people together in the name of peace. However, his fear of Salem and lack of trust in others led to him making rash and arguably stupid decisions. Much like a certain yellow-clad supervillain who was trying to do what he thought was right.

And now we have reached the titular corps and main focus of the entire franchise. The Green Lantern Corps. Of the multitude of characters who could be chosen to serve as the paragons of willpower, I decided to choose someone who best fits in for their ability to thrive as center of the emotional spectrum. Someone who can see and know what emotions are being felt and knows how to use them. Yup, I chose Lie Ren. Since his introduction, Ren has come far since the stoic and stone-faced young man he was and grew to be the master envoy of emotion he is when we last saw him. It especially helps that his semblance allows him to see other's emotions, instead of just suppression of it. Being green himself also doesn't hurt.

Next up is the Blue Lantern Corps, a peace keeping collection of survivors, heroes, and generally good people who have experienced great hardship, but never lost the source of their power: hope. Now, a LOT of characters can be chose from this series since, IN MY PERSONAL OPINION, hope is the primary theme of the series. Now that I've said this, you might assume I would make someone from Team RWBY a member of this different team of people trying to make things better. But no. Instead, I chose a different heroic lead to be our Blue Lantern. Someone who has experienced great hardship, loss, and has even been to the brink of being hopeless and yet never gave up. For this reason of holding onto hope, I chose Jaune Arc. Jaune has lived his entire life as the punchline of every joke. He's made the leader of Team JNPR with zero experience and cheated his way into Beacon, only to then lose his partner, best friend, mentor, and love interest in the Fall. After walking all the way from the island of Patch to Haven Academy, he fights Cinder Fall, almost gets Weiss killed and saves her by unlocking his semblance. Then he learns all of it was for nothing because there's a scary Grimm queen who's going to kill everyone anyways, then makes his way to Atlas where he's caught up in a civil unrest between the Atlas military and the people of Mantle, during which he kills his friend to stop Cinder, and falls into the Ever After, where he takes on the role of the Rusted Knight. After all this, after everything he lost, he NEVER gave up hope. He just dusted himself off and soldiered on. THAT is why Jaune is a Blue Lantern holder.

Okay, after that HUGE dissertation on why I love Jaune Arc as a character, let's get back to why you're really here. Next up are the, uh... Oh boy. The Indigo Tribe. Now, this is probably the one group I know the least about of the entire spectrum, so bear with me. Okay, so the Indigo Tribe are a group of reformed and redeemed convicts who draw their power from compassion. With this, they act as healers and guide others through great pain. That said, it could be argued that Lie Ren would fit in as a member, but there is a catch that bars his entry. To become one, you must be willing to part with your worldly desires and possessions to become one with the universe and empathise with every living creature in existence. With that, I'd say Ren is cut out because he can't devote his whole to the universe because of one part of him; Nora. But more on that later. Instead, I chose someone who would be most willing to give themselves over AND fits the narrative as Indigo Tribe. A former agent of Salem, I chose Hazel Rainart. Hazel worked as the muscle of the Inner Circle, using his inability to feel pain power him through heavy hitters in the series, including Salem herself for a time. His last minute redemption of self-sacrifice makes him an exquisite choice to be a member of the Indigo Tribe, since he's an ex-con with no earthly attachments and a great narrative to push him to become more compassionate.

Last, but certainly not least on the primary Corps is the Star Sapphire. This primarily female Corps is made up of lovers who have loved and lost, either by death or spurn, and use their love as a source of their power. Now, as much the show loves to throw love interests and interactions to us, there's not a lot of good candidates for this Corps. True, there are good, healthy relationships in RWBY, a lot of them are simply spurned, forgotten, or made out to be the most toxic thing possible. But if there's one character who best defines the power of love in this series, it's the one we all cheered for when she got her mans. Yup, Nora Valkyrie is not only the best choice, but the ONLY choice as a Star Sapphire. Nora grew up in poverty until her village was attacked by Grimm. After being saved by Ren, she stuck by his side through it all. All the way from the unseen orphanage to Beacon, Haven, Atlas, and now Vacuo, Nora has shown nothing but love and affection for Ren. And when he went too far in Mistral, she grounded him. When Atlas was placed in martial law, she questioned herself as a person without Ren. Simply put, if there's no Ren, is there no Nora? There's not a lot of places to find her being spurned, but this still doesn't stop her from being the definition of love in RWBY.

As for the last two, I'll make it quick, because I started this at midnight, and it is now 1:36AM.

Salem as the Black Lantern Corps because she's technically dead and is obsessed with killing everyone.

Ruby as the White Lantern Corps because silver eyes, deus ex machina, and how she's fighting to protect all life on Remnant.

What rwby character would go into what lantern corps?

[kachuusha]

culmination of a 10 year old bond.

note: this became a lot shorter than I had originally planned. I omitted some parts because they had been talked about by other shippers as well so I just included parts that I thought were important to the point I was trying to make. english is not my first language so I apologize if there are grammatical errors. 

looking back at all the levihan moments from the very beginning of the series, you would notice how isayama laid down the foundations of levi and hanji's relationship and those said foundations played a big part on levi and hanji's decisions in the final arc that involved the other.

remember how in the scene when they where first introduced, levi was being hyped by the townspeople for being humanity's strongest and then there is hanji who comments on how surprised they would be if they found out his clean freak tendencies?

right from the start it was shown that hanji sees a part of levi that doesn't reduce him to simply a weapon. they don't place him on a pedestal because they see levi as a friend first and foremost.

that comes to play in 115. I've seen people say that hanji being the one to find levi had no bearing but I disagree.

levi got injured to the extent where he couldn't move anymore. in that moment it was made clear that levi was not the invincible human weapon people saw him as. if just some random character saw him do you think they would easily risk their all to save him? if you think about it, others might see levi as a lost cause—a soldier who wouldn't be able to fight anymore. that is exactly why hanji being the one who finds levi was imperative—because hanji saw way past levi's humanity's strongest persona. hanji also knows how terrible the repercussions of being hit by a thunder spear are because it was their invention. but of course that did not matter to hanji.

hanji that time was already in big trouble being held hostage and outnumbered by the yeagerists. escaping by themself was already difficult enough but they still rescued a man who is on the brink of death.

hanji saved levi without any hesitation because to them he wasn't merely a weapon to be discarded but rather a person that is precious to them.

another is the way isayama had portrayed how comfortable they are around each other. we've seen their playful banters in the form of shit jokes and the iconic hair grab scene in the anime. the level of trust and teamwork? when they got to walls of shiganshina they were seen to be protecting each other's backs. when they got into eren's basement did you notice now they quickly fell into routine and how insync they were?

and we again see just exactly how comfortable they are around each other in 126. they can both easily let their guard down in each other's presence. hanji voicing out their desire to live in peace with levi. levi admitting his failure to kill zeke. they didn't have to be the perfect commander and captain that moment—they were just hanji and levi who has personal desires and weaknesses.

levi and hanji's way of understanding each other was also heavily enforced by isayama. if you ask me I think this was the very highlight of their dynamic.

in the beginning of uprising arc levi noticed right away hanji's discomfort and then he assured them that pastor nick's death was not their fault. he also encouraged and brought hanji's spirits back into continuing the experiments with eren. I've seen people complain about how levi was being harsh to hanji but was he really? levi just has this tendency to get crass with his words but he means well. when levi was giving eren a pep talk, mikasa commented on how he didn't have to be harsh on eren. he was also getting roundabout with his words and eren couldn't grasp what levi was trying to say so hanji swoops in and interprets what levi truly meant.

isayama even threw in this scene in chapter 106 where the two are seen communicating telepathy. correct me if I am wrong but I think this was the only time we saw something like this happen in the series.

and that deep level of understanding is what we saw in 126. levi asks hanji what will running get them? (pertaining to hanji saying that they should just live there in the forest together) I've seen some consider that as levi rejecting hanji but looking at his words—did he really? he never gave an answer—it was a question. hanji was the one who admitted that they cannot stay there and levi just gave them the push they needed. it was actually very similar to when levi encouraged hanji on how they should proceed with the titan experiments in the uprising arc.

in 132 it is likely that hanji had already anticipated that levi was going to attempt to stop them because instead of saying a statement like "I'm going now" hanji asks him as question—"you understand?" "so just let me go will you?"

despite being obviously pained and against the idea, levi chooses to accept hanji's decision because he respects and understands them too well. because just like what levi himself said in the forest—he knows hanji isn't someone who would like being kept in the dark. that understanding is what enabled levi to be able to let go despite of the pain.

levi conveys his farewell and feelings through a phrase that has a very significant meaning for the two of them—words that he has never spoken before and through a gesture that feels very personal. a fitting farewell for the two remaining veterans of the survey corps who had survived countless tragedies together.

the farewell was very brief and yet powerful. they never needed too many words. was it only a goodbye? or maybe there was something more behind it? whatever it was, it’s evident that hanji understood it. 

the vagueness of it all was so like them because they had always been able to understand each other on a deep level—better than anyone else could.  that final moment between levi and hanji was the culmination of their 10 year old bond.

it was so beautiful how isayama had wonderfully placed these foundations throughout the series and have them fall into pieces at the end. whether you see their relationship as romantic or purely platonic, it is undeniable that their bond was so strong and isayama had carefully written it out.

[transsexualhamlet]

001 for bsd 002 for dead apple trio 003 for shibusawa <33

Hihihi!! :3 :3 Ask game

001: BSD

Favorite character: It would be very difficult to come up with a favorite character of all time for bsd theres just SO many blorbos to choose from but um. Fyodor is my top blorbo

Least Favorite character: This is a no brainer but I just cannot stand fukuchi I know there's a lot of points about legitimate political themes but also I'm sorry I cannot take an old man who makes fart jokes seriously about anything

5 favorite ships: Fyogol Fyozai Atsuluaku (I think lucy could fix shin soukoku) dead apple trio and the whole DOA polycule ehehe gay people

Character I find most attractive: chuuya HANDS DOWN. No argument I will not be taking constructive criticism I am on my knees for this man

Character I would marry: ALSO CHUUYA but if i had to choose someone different, Lucy. I love them both so fucking much and I think they are actually good loveable fun and interesting people

Character I would be best friends with: Akutagawa or Fyodor. My type of best friend is wet cat i picked up out of the gutter I would fix them up good I promise

A random thought: God the tik tok fandom of bsd is absolutely rancid and it's really just a wasteland of people fighting each other tooth and nail for chuuya nakahara custody since literally everyone is convinced they're the only one who understands him and then proceeds to give the worst takes ever on him

Unpopular opinion: Mori is in general a good person and he really and truly wants the best for the city and for the world and the world he lives in has forced him to make very bad decisions, he has decided to be the bad guy for the world to function and near anyone else in his position would fucking crumble. He is fair and kind and allows the least amount of suffering possible though he knows that he does not deserve forgiveness for the things he has had to do. Without him the world would go to shit so fast.

Canon otp: I mean, there's not any canon ships in bsd really, but in terms of Most canon I would probably consider fukumori or shin soukoku? I love soukoku too but you know im Picky about it

Non-canon otp: ah yes the these characters have had One (1) interaction but they're fucking. Fyoya and Nikozai and also Sigzai i fucking love them

Most badass character: IM SORRY BRO ITS STILL HANDS DOWN CHUUYA HES TAKING ALL THE AWARDS TONIGHT CHUUYA CAN USE ME AS A FUCKING DOORMAT

Most Epic villain: Nikolai ofc he's 100 percent the most unhinged motherfucker in the cast and I am bonded to him on a molecular level Help

Pairing I am not a fan of: I feel like I've been over this a lot and at this point I just don't wanna make anybody sad bc I know people who ship just about everything sane and normal so you know you do you as long as it's not fucking gross yknow

Character I feel the writers screwed up: Teruko could have been an absolute girlboss if they didn't give her the. I don't know the. The Fukuchi Thing why did they do that seriously what why

Favorite friendship: Yes yes Dazai and Oda very much so Dazai and Oda but hAVE YOU CONSIDERED Chuuya and the flags. I'm all holding them so tightly you don't even fucking understand. They're so important

Character I most identify with: :|. Nikolai and Dazai. I should not be allowed in public spaces

Character I wish I could be: YOU ALREADY KNOW WHO IM GONNA SAYITS FUCKING CHUUYA. There's not many people in bsd whose situations/mental states I really envy tbh. Dazai is crusty and sad and I don't want to ever see the state of his apartment. Fyodor is even sicker than me. Akutagawa's on the brink of death at all times. Being Ranpo would kill me because I would not be able to keep up the illusion of having an ability and I wouldn't be able to handle the thought that I didn't have one and everyone else did. All my kins are so sad and sick and in awful situations except CHUUYA who is being BADASS and MAKING BANK and GETTING BITCHES. Yes, he has obviously had so much tragedy in his life and he has very much suffered but the fact remains that he has gone through it and come out even stronger than before. He's such a guy I want to be him so bad

002: Dead Apple Trio :))

When I started shipping them: Literally the second I met these guys I was like Oh They're Fucking. All thru the first time I watched dead apple it just. More and more. These fuckers gay as shit

My thoughts: I looove them so much and they are so fucking terrible they're awful people and they love terrorism and genocide and being queercoded villains. They're in their big gothic spire doing gay crimes. Everything they do is labeled under 'consensual but not safe or sane'

What makes me happy about them: I love thinking of them all as some flavor of transfem nonbinary and they are so queer and gnc girlbosses that did nothing wrong they're so important to me shibusawa designed their wedding dresses and dead apple is the honeymoon

What makes me sad about them: I mean, I usually just call them girlbosses and call it a day but the thing is, the one thing that really brings them together is their fucking mental illness. Without unmedicated depression, unconventional takes on religion, and several personality disorders each, those three would never even talk to each other. The reason they care so much for each other is because they're the only ones who truly understand each other, they can see through each other's lies and straight to their rotted empty fucking ribcages. They only come together when they're at their absolute worst. They probably met at a sleazy gay bar and if it weren't for all their own grand schemes, at the slightest negative emotion they would just meet up there again and lace all their drinks with cyanide

Things done in fanfic that annoys me: I mean. There's like 20 fanfics in the dead apple trio tag total, and 90 percent of them annoy the shit out of me, but yknow. I don't like it when they treat Dazai like some sort of victim in this situation, like, no he is 100 percent into this. This is normal for him and he signed up to get stabbed. Also people who think Shibusawa tops anyone are dumb as shit look at those acrylic nails sh;drgsfdoig

Things I look for in fanfic: IF IT'S NOT PRETENTIOUS AS SHIT, I'M NOT INTERESTED HSDIFHDS but seriously I think the important thing to realize is that this trio is that they're each other's bad habit. Most of the time they're totally clean of each other but every once and a while they will just fall into that hole again and come together to dig it deeper and deeper. They're awful for each other and nothing can save them. As much as the porn is good I wish there were more fics that had actual plots for them

My wishlist: I mean. Shibusawa is kind of dead for realsies now so it's not like they'll meet again anyway and I don't think I need them to be any more canon than they are, yknow? That's how I feel with most of my ships because like. There's already soo much subtext there for me, but if it was explicit, it would literally just be demonizing queer people and queer relationships and would be taken completely wrong and I think. It's just fine the way it is bc to me it is very clear they're gay sdhighdfs

Who I'd be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: I mean,, I don't know if I can really see a hypothetical Happy Ending for any of these guys. Perhaps there might be one for Dazai, if he can keep his shit together from now on, but not for both. I really do like the idea of both Fyodor and Dazai living and having to attempt to fix each other together, I really do, although I don't think Nikolai would survive in that situation :(, but that's not something that would happen in canon lol. Fyozai will either die together with Nikolai or it'll be Dazai alone. In that case, I think Dazai should be with Kunikida. They would actually be good for each other, I really do think that.

My happily ever after for them: There is NO happily ever after for the dead apple trio, as much as it's sad to say, there really and truly isn't. They're not good for each other, they're not a sustainable polycule as much as they love each other. Fyozai could hypothetically move on together and mourn Shibusawa, but there's no way they'd be good with him alive, there just isn't.

003 Shibusawa !!! Ok this is hard he interacts with like 3 people

How I feel about this character: Shibusawa sucks and I love him. He's a pillow princess. He's my wife. He tortures children but he would be a good mom I swear. He wants an e-z bake oven. He is an international terrorist but he is also a crazy cat lady. He walked into yokohama to start the apocalypse dressed like a cottagecore grandma with a million dollars of stolen jewelry in his purse and got called the t slur ten seconds before the fog came. I hate him hes my favorite he uses his science skills to create estrogen laced cupcakes

Any/all people I ship romantically with this character: Obviously Fyodor and Dazai but also Ivan. Shibusawa needed like a body double for some plot and Fyodor was like "I've got this crazy weirdo with long white hair who looks a lot like you, I can rent him out for five dollars an hour" and they hit it off like nobody's business. Now Shibusawa uses him as a crazy gay test subject for his unethical experiments and they kiss and Ivan is madly in love with him

My unpopular opinion about this character: I don't know why people hate Shibusawa so much. On international women's day week too?? Im sorry women can do anything. I'm all for awful evil women, Shibusawa included. Genuinely I don't get how anyone could think Shibusawa is like. A man. One thing you have to understand about me. Is that Shibusawa is my wife

One thing I wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon: I WANT HIM TO WEAR A DRESS. BIG DRESS. POOFY FANCY DRESS. VICTORIAN BALLGOWN. HE DESERVES IT. HE WOULD LOVE IT

Favorite friendship for this character: I think that Shibusawa and Nikolai would be good friends. They gush about Fyodor and Nikolai is Shibusawa's crazy friend who gives him all his awful ideas and Shibusawa encourages everything. Also there's my and my friend's ocs Fran and Kafu who are both. Around Shibusawa ™ but that's a whole nother story. Fran is his younger cousin who helps him exist and Kafu is this absolutely insane fucking creature who's deeply in love with him and is in his walls

Crossover ship: I have never thought about this ever before but after some consideration. Albert Moriarty. I think they would get along well. I really do think they would get absolutely fucking wasted and Shibusawa would get fucking railed after they talked about how much they hated rich people and killing rich people and stealing rich people's money to kill more people and how fucked up the world is and how they wanna die

[athys-obelia]

summary: no one's evil au lmfaooo but make it pt. 2

character/s: anastacius de alger obelia, claude de alger obelia, athanasia de alger obelia, jennette de alger obelia

and here's part 1 <3

oh my god okay. okay. so.

ana, claude, athy and jennette - they go on a LOT of vacations

claude complains every single time but anastacius pulls his trump card and sends athy and jettie BOTH after him

u think he's strong enough to say no after that? lmao jokes

and their vacations always go this way:

jennette: isn't this scenery just gorgeous, uncle

claude: indeed it is. and...quiet

jennette: ...too quiet

[cut to anastacius in the distance, fighting a bear as athy cheers him on]

athy + anastacius, hands down the most chaotic pairing yes i will not be taking criticism

they have tea in ana's palace everyday, just the two of them, they're so poised and picture perfect through the entire thing everyone thinks it's just the emperor giving profound advice to his heir

it's actually them deadass scheming,,, ana has no qualms discussing everything from court gossip to military tactics, both of which she's so on top of all the time

if anyone shit talks jennette or claude, this tea party is where their slow and agonizing demise is planned out to the dot

[true story - count sivan once made the fatal mistake of expressing his favour for athy as the next empress, dissing jennette by comparing her to athy sm which inevitably sparked a debate that ranked the princesses. a week after athy's sources informed her of the kindling behind this new debate, the count's sudden divorce became the talk of the town, and the man's business faced bankruptcy all of a sudden. the sivans still haven't recovered.)

athy n jennette were actually allowed to visit kiel in arlanta a few times, except it was too dark at their first arrival, postponing the meeting to the next morning

buttt then jettie can't sleep and she decides on a midnight snack run (their hotel doesn't really have the maids the palace does, but oh well. she's left the palace w lucas n athy plenty of times)

felix tags along btw, he knows this trip is important to the girls since they're leaving the palace without their Overprotective Papas™ for the first time and want some sense of independence, but... she's just so smol n he couldn't bear it if anything happens so he just shadows her

she totally knows he's there

n e ways so there's a juice place right beside their hotel which she aims for, but when jennette reaches it, it's closed

and out of nowhere, a voice addresses her - "hey you, do you come here a lot?" she nearly jumps out of her skin at the brunette, relaxing when she sees he's literally a kid around her age and not a murderer lmfaoo "me neither," he continues without waiting for her, pouting at the closed sign, before he asks for her name and whether she's new in arlanta

she confirms that yes, she's only visiting, and refuses to tell the stranger her name, still feeling strange at being addressed as 'you' for the first time (well, minus lucas, but he was like her brother and had the emotional capacity of a teaspoon, so)

he eyes her. "you're so weird. i've never seen a girl out so late before, and alone too. are you stupid?"

(felix has his sword out at this point)

she's flushing now and has no idea why she's still out here, but then this stranger kid apparently senses her mood and tells her the best ice cream store in arlanta is not too far away

(he also explains he knows someone who's starts doing weird things when she's hungry as well, and tries to defend that ice cream is actually a healthy midnight snack, "you can just take a healthy flavour like strawberry or mango, mangos are healthy,,right"💀️💀)

so jettie has travelled all the way from obelia, she loves her papa but he would have a heart attack if he found out she was ever awake this late?? yeah bc she's never getting this chance again, jennette accepts the offer

the stranger boy seems to be taking the whole "i'm not telling you my name," thing like a joke, and asks what he should call her since 'you' was getting boring

she goes with "lady j" and like a knight, the boy becomes "sir c"

(felix is on the verge of committing a crime - the princesses can only have one knight, after all)

they walk as the the boy navigates the streets in the dark, and she asks whether he's from the academy, seeing his uniform

"of course i am! you could probably tell bc i look so smart, right?"

she snorts. "yeah, that."

she also comes to know that this guy,,,well he might as well be a tourist? she's out here asking stuff like "oh where's the statue of lady alphia?" or "aren't we really close to the museum where they keep the first emperor's sword?" and he goes "lady do i look like your brochure?? but if you turn right from here there's a cool arcade and across the street from there is the best street food vendor you'll ever eat from."

well at least mans had his priorities straight 😌

"so can you take this off?" he asks, pointing towards her dress once they've neared the store

um???????? sir tf????????????

anyways jettie has been living with lucas n her dad farr too long to not take this the wrong way?? "...no?"

the boy raises an eyebrow "look, it looks like an expensive cloak but i promise i'll return it, alright? i gotta hide my uniform."

ohhhhhhh. 😳.

so she unfastens the cloak and because he's kinda just staring at it cluelessly (he can't even tie his shoelaces fight me), jennette sighs and moves the clothing over his shoulder, fastening it in place at his neck

he's literally a tomato when she looks back up and realises that yes, we are way too close rn

bc she's ana's daughter, jennette by default cannot function when she's flustered. so she kinda stumbles backwards like a fish out of water (years of princess training n etiquette? where art thou??) and 'sir c' has to grab her forearm so she doesn't bump into the pillar behind her smfh

the shopkeep is definitely suspicious of this pair that's definitely too young to be out so late, but chalks it down to his sleeplessness

they escape the store with the ice cream before the shopkeep can ask any questions, and 'sir c' escorts jennette back to her hotel. he climbs onto the roof of the building, helping her up as well

(felix wishes he had a magic stone to capture this moment, this is the first time he's seen jennette become such fast friends with someone)

she stands on the roof (it hurts her butt so she doesn't wanna sit)

"my sister would be so jealous right now," jennette murmurs, "she told me her ideal first date would be either a picnic or something like a moonlit walk. we're having like a moonlit picnic."

it's silent for a few seconds the boy speaks up, "is this a date?"

oh-

oh.

"i mean- i didn't- i don't- uh."

give her some time lmfao she's loading

"i don't really mind that," he tells her, and she thinks she might just walk off the roof in her embarrassment - who just says something like that?? "you're probably feeling really lucky right now, right?"

jennette: ✊😔

he does look pretty in the moonlight, she admits to herself, listening as he excitedly tells her about his siblings at home and how she should send an offering to the gods since they gave her the good fortune to be on a date with the most good looking one of all four of them

in turn, she tells him about how she spent her childhood away from her amazing dad and had gotten closer to him recently, about her sharp-witted uncle, her sister and friends

(the 'friends' section includes felix and he's melting)

she smiles - it's almost as if, at finding out he treasures his family just as much as she does, they've gotten a bit closer

and he tries to listen. jennette had guessed that his temperament was somewhat like her dad's - her dad didn't know how to listen, always making his opinion known before anything else, though she supposes as emperor he could do that

'sir c', on the other hand, tried his best, his blue eyes focused on her as he almost burst from the unsaid words he was holding back, trying to let her finish. the sight was an odd mix of sad and insanely adorable that she couldn't help but let him tell her about everything he couldn't hold in

sensing she could pass out from her exhaustion nearly half an hour later, and 'sir c' escorts her to her window and helps her sneak in bc "what sort of knight would i be otherwise?!"

(felix can't stop shaking the entire night)

the next morning, jennette's heart is pounding as kiel shows her, athy and felix across campus - the chance is low, but still...

"ezekiel!" comes a voice, and the four watch as a turquoise haired boy waves down the alpheus heir "are these the guests you mentioned?"

kiel introduces the trio to johannes vastia before asking, "where's cabel?"

"at the training grounds, he asked if you could bring everyone there so he could show them around there."

"... they're my guests though?"

athy is quick to befriend johannes (i mean she and his sister are practically the same person, so) and at the grounds, jennette's blood runs cold

(so does felix's)

the brunette doesn't notice her at first, arguing with johannes about something as kiel introduces him as cabel ernst

jennette is hyperventilating?? actually back up is this girl even breathing??

cabel ernst from kiel's letters? the 'loud and obnoxious cabel ernst', who gradually turned into 'my acquaintance cabel ernst', then 'hardworking, passionate cabel ernst', and finally 'my friend cabel'?

she'd actually rather admired this slow build of respect between her friend and the ernst boy, and had even expressed her interest to meet him

"this is the first daughter of his highness prince claude de alger obelia, princess athanasia-" cabel mock salutes the princess before his mouth forms an 'o' and he remembers to bow, "-and here's the emperor's only daughter, her highness princess je-"

andddd his eyes widen comically "-hey, lady, it's you?"

yeah jettie is on the brink of literal death - her entire face reddens as this...cabel, grins at her

she watches as he glances behind her, "and you're the guy who was following us - sup?"

felix flinches "...you knew...?"

cabel shrugs. "i mean you do kinda suck ass at the whole subtle thing."

"don't say it like that," jennette retorts, "felix was trying his best."

"princess 😭😭 you knew as well?"

"uhhhh no?"

athy + kiel in a corner: 👁️👄👁️

they watch as cabel's eyes widen all of a sudden and he just,,,runs away

...🐦...🐦...🐦...

yeah well anyway he comes rushing back a few minutes later, a piece of cloth in his hand "...*huff* here *huff*...you go."

athy totally flips out "jennette is that your CLOAK???!??"

"uhhhhh no?"

"um do you realise uncle would literally wage war at this."

and as if it would make everything better,

"i washed it," cabel offers with a grin

"you didn't," the vastia heir deadpans

"i mean, johan helped a little bit."

kiel smiles murderously at the pair. "johan, did you know cabel took the princess out?"

"wait, you're a PRINCESS??"

your honour they aren't very smart

so the group orders some coffee (milk for cabel smfh) to find out what happened, cabel mentions "date" and everything goes to shit again lmfao

kiel and felix scheme against poor cabel while athy n johan get over that stage pretty quick ("listen. MY sister will be living with ME after the marriage and if your friend wants to be with her he'll have to come with us to obelia." and johan's just like "fine by me ✌️😊") and start planning the wedding

cabel + jennette dip n sneak out of the academy again to get the juice they couldn't the night before bc shit is getting awkward here

on another note, our uncle cius' musical intelligence is actually very high - he can probably play more instruments than i can name tbh, but he feels most comfortable singing and i shit you not, this man has straight up an angel's voice

(didn't like singing in front of others coz he was secretly a nerd and only knew old love songs with deep lyrics, athy found out and educated him)

jennette tends to have nightmares often, most often regarding their family - she's seen her father murder her uncle for the throne, and vice versa, athy admitting her affections towards jennette were a front to get the position of crown princess, her uncle killing her to solidify athy's claim, etc - her family is her everything, so despite however many times these horrible scenes play before her, she's left sobbing uncontrollably

and on these nights, she leaves for her father's room, who holds her close and sings her to sleep

also lucas n jennette are like sibling duo# 1,,, jettie is an active lucathy shipper even though he denies it sm - like their dynamic is just peaceful walks in the gardens as she watches the plants n lucas shi talks the nobility and kiel

claude and athy have a thing for each other's sleeping on each other? idk it's weird

athy once fell asleep on the couch while reading with him, and claude moved her head onto his lap so she wouldn't be uncomfy sitting - well, she woke up to his hand absentmindedly raking through her hair and it was just so soothing that whenever she's tired and he's working or reading, she just plops her head on his lap and zzzz

and claude wondered what was up with that, so she proposed they switch roles and he felt so awkward trying to lay down in front of her lmao

obviously athy noticed and she just started reading, thinking he might be more comfortable if her attention isn't on him completely - she ended up reading out loud while playing with his collar and he just,,,passed out

also anastacius has definitely pulled jennette aside regarding the issue of his heir at some point - she had been hesitant at first before admitting she wouldn't like to be the empress at all

i know we'd all love to see empress!jettie and her sister duchess!athy ruling the court, but i really really really can't see her wanting the title?

so thus start athy's empress lessons, but holy shit her teacher is mean

like this man makes me want to bash his face in?? so he doesn't like the idea of athy becoming empress over jennette at all, all bc of both hers and claude's mothers being commoners

he has one of those long ass sticks that you use in presentation to point at stuff?? idk but basically mans has athy name every region, its lords and their vassals during their first lesson

the first time she gets one wrong, she's too shocked as the stick meets the delicate skin of her forearm to react

now the thing is, wmmap!athy would probably stand up against this bc her dad is the emperor and she's his only heir, but i imagine with anastacius' social nature he holds many parties / balls where she's probably heard claude's mom + diana slander and it wouldn't be unreasonable for her to be self conscious abt it (now she's the emperor's heir while jennette, 100% royal + noble blood, is right there which probably makes her feel even less legitimate)

so she endures it, the light marks on her arms as well as the taunts of his she's too smart to not understand - perhaps this is the price to be accepted in jennette's place?

and honestly, no one really notices until at breakfast a few weeks in, where jennette mentions how her dresses are still so modest when sleeveless dresses were more in fashion - ana is suspicious because athy is always on top of these things, societal trends and such, and claude is sus from the way she hesitates slightly in her answer, "i haven't had the time lately, i suppose"

the lesson after focuses on ettiquete since everyone knows she's good at politics and such already, but now tears of frustration are pooling in her eyes because what the hell?? this guy had made an opinion of her long before he even met her, so anything she did would be wrong in his eyes

he gives her a sinister smile, "tired, princess?"

"no," she insists, keeping her voice level. he's about to spout some other nonsense, when anastacius enters the room, taking a seat across from her

anastacius watches quietly as athy answers the teacher's questions in her "public" voice. he watches as her usually cheery disposition is replaced by something far more...dead, despite the front she puts on for him. he's soundless as she hesitates in her answers where she normally would've been louder, more confident. he stops watching in silence when his niece flinches at the sight of the stick

oh.

he interrupts her lesson, not missing the way she winces almost imperceptibly when he grabs ahold of her arm, announcing, "we're going."

he just- it's just that that was the moment he knew for sure - the sight of his niece emotionally disheveled for the first time reminds him too much of how his own brother had once been, and he'd... he'd promised he wouldn't let anyone hurt his family anymore

he ends up taking her to the port with some of his advisors to welcome some royal guests, insisting that she would learn better from experience rather than books - but the guest delegation gets so boring that he sneaks her out of the meeting n they end up in the streets

now athy has no idea where they are, but apparently her uncle does?? ana has his hand on her head as he navigates the streets of the capitol as if he comes here everyday, using magic to casually disguise the two of them

in the meantime?

felix is at the port trying to cover for them smfh, he makes up this huge story about how the great wise emperor wanted to familiarize his heir with the locals, understand her subjects, yada yada

back at the palace prince claude is currently dragging a man by his collar and only upon jennette's insistence does he throw him in prison rather than literally kill him

(jettie visits him later in prison to give the guy a piece of her mind, after felix's visit he's sporting a few noticable bruises and the prisoner is practically unrecognizable once lucas visits)

back to athy + ana, they end up stuffing themselves with some super good street food as anastacius confesses that yes, he has definitely been sneaking out of the palace ever since he was a lil kid

athy almost mentions that she, lucas n jettie sneak out too but that might give him a heart attack, so

"it's so pretty, uncle cius," she says, gesturing towards the necklace he holds up. once he's paid for it, anastacius fists the necklace, opening it to reveal the jewel pendant - now imbued with his magic and replaced with gold lettering of the word athanasia

and she realises that yes, that's what both him and her dad have called her all her life, haven't they?

"you're my heir, athanasia," he uncle tells her with a small smile, "i am proud of that."

getting teary, she tells him, "i'm really proud of you too, uncle cius," triggering a very flustered + blushy anastacius

this mans craves validation - not from the sycophantic nobility, or the obsequious concubines he'd dismissed all those years ago, but from the family he thought he'd neither have nor deserve

and just the acknowledgement is so large for athy - he wants her as his heir, not because she's his niece, but bc he trusts her to look after his hard work after him??? - yeah she's totally bawling her eyes out

anastacius magics her a handkerchief but my mans magic isn't that strong?? lmao he's used up so much by now that the 'handkerchief' turns out to be some scratchy tissues

awkward amirite

nope! athy laughs at that, offering him a sip of her drink as she magics another straw and a proper handkerchief lmfaoo

n e ways so when they return, everyone's shocked to learn that the crown heir, princess athanasia will actually be joining the official circles as anastacius' temporary aid - he doesn't wanna entrust her to anyone but family, and decides that the best way to learn is by his side

(she's so confused bc lucas doesn't normally bat an eyelash when she wears the prettiest gowns, but he deadass can't look her in the eyes when she's in her aid uniform - it's more like a suit than it is a dress)

yes lucas women in suits >>>>>

everyone is STUNNED when at dinner, claude proposes they leave on vacation??

anastacius is just not having it?? like no, this is not my brother, and he throws a grape at claude to check if it's a clone or sum (¿¿how does that work??)

anyays so he ain't no felix, ana's aim is ass and it hits jettie instead

mans nearly gets on his knees to apologise

long story short everyone preps for vacation, but by some aCCiDeNt claude n athy end up at a different destination than jettie n ana, when she suggests returning to the palace to regroup, mans deadass sulks

"so you wouldn't like to spend this time with your father, despite barely visiting my office for weeks?"

o-oh

so at their return, the nobility starts pestering everyone that the princesses aren't independent enough, yada yada idc so to quell this annoyance, to the girls' joy, they get to move into emerald palace together, while claude and ana stay in the ruby and main palaces respectively

literally emerald palace becomes such a cool place to be in since it's the residence of the only decent people in this family, the brothers spend hours going through the requests of maids who want to be transferred

it's such a busy time because of athy joining the court and jettie starting her studies as well - naturally, since she isn't becoming empress, she'll be getting the duchy claude + athy were to be given in the beginning

speaking of futures, jettie's interest in plants and cooking has definitely branched out into herbs

claude notices her tending to a small garden during his visit to athy and even gives her a few tips (he had been studying medical since he was a kid, and picked it up again when athy was born and the empire stablised somewhat)

this soon becomes a routinely thing, and he actually starts reading up on some herbs and even orders a few for her prospering garden

after a month of her learning from books, claude proposes adding a medic as one of her teachers, and turns out his hunch was right?? she's excelling at medicine and they keep it between themselves for the time being

it doesn't last long though, bc they're on a hunting trip when ana injures his leg

and !! this girl istg, she gets to cleaning and wrapping the wound without blinking an eye, as if it's the most natural thing ever, and claude is just smirking while athy and anastacius and literally everyone else: 🌟💞✨jettie✨💞🌟

literal tears coming out of anastacius' eyes "how come my daughter is smarter than me😭💅"

claude: that's not a very high standard, brother

anastacius: ✨suddenly i'm an only child✨

behold, the people in charge of running an empire everyone 👏👏👏

even though jennette is claude's (unofficial) student and athy is her uncle's heir, they both ask their dads to the debutante

yes athy does dance with lucas, anastacius sent him an invitation even though he wasn't a noble (he's an active match maker 😌) and nobody dared question the emperor's special guest

at the end of the night, kiel gives jettie a letter from arlanta - it's an invitation to the academy during holidays, from a certain brunette

when she brings up the subject, felix lets out a squeak and literally everyone goes silent 😭😭

athy n kiel are just out here DARING him to spill them beans

but anastacius takes on look at his excited lil kid and decides that yups, she's going to get everything she wants

a/n: i literally don't know how many parts this should have lmaoo but y'all made it this far!! thanks for reading i hope you liked it<3

[eryiss]

Ship: Freed x Laxus

Rating: Teen

Prompt: Demon in Disguise x Angel Undercover

Summary: Being a demon was boring, particularly in peacetime. For Freed, passing the time consisted of sneaking into nightclubs and forcing men off the moral path. Thankfully, the angel with beautiful wings and almost rigid set of morals was always there to make things interesting.

Notes: This is Day Two of Fraxus Week, hosted by @fuckyeahfraxus. Be sure to look at their blog, I'm sure there's lot of other great Fraxus content on there for the event already.

Links: Event Masterlist ||| Archive of Our Own, Fanfiction

Off The Moral Path

Year: 2025

Location: Paris, France

"Come now, Darling," Freed purred, gently stroking the raven-haired beauty on the cheek. "You know you want to."

To think he'd come to this. Freed Justine – Albion the Slayer, Absolute Shadow, The Nightmares of Angels – resorted to flirting with men in a bar. It was humiliating. He was a soldier, a demonic mage whose power was the stuff of legends, and by rights everyone in the damned club should be bowing for him, on their knees and begging for his mercy. He would have been kind to them, were they giving him the respect he was owed, and perhaps he would have made their night more interesting with a display of his power.

But he couldn't. The war between demons and angels had long since ended, humans had forgotten about the battles and all the people who had been part of it, and as such they didn't know him. To them, Freed was nothing but another human. Better looking of course, but otherwise no different.

Frankly, it was boring.

War between unkillable forces was fun. You didn't have to worry about being hurt, because you couldn't be, and a demon didn't care for guilt. It was simply posturing, and it had allowed Freed to show off the magic that he'd been slowly building from his creation. He was explosively powerful, and he'd sent many of the enemy forces back to heaven time and time again. It was fun seeing them disintegrate as they screamed, but now that was gone.

Technically speaking, he shouldn't have even been in the nightclub at all. Earth was off limits, but he was hardly doing anything too bad. He wasn't poisoning a water system, or luring a man to his death. He was just having a little fun. Nobody could begrudge him a little magically fuelled flirting.

Well, one angel might. But he hadn't arrived yet.

"I dunno," The raven-haired man shrugged, swirling his drink absently.

"I do. You want to do it and you know it," Freed smirked, and his eyes glowed red for a moment. He placed his hand on the mans exposed forearm, and magic flared in his next words. "I'll do it if you will. And you've got nothing to be ashamed of."

A lie, but a fun one.

"You know what," The man said, confidence in his words now. "You're right."

The man was standing up a moment later, walking towards the raised stage with a pole attached to it, removing his shirt. Hm, if the sounds of the cheering at the sight were reflective of the mood, Freed had been right about him having nothing to be ashamed of. It was good guess; Freed really had no idea what a human saw as attractive anymore.

Freed watched from the bar, drinking his wine with a smirk as the man began to gyrate over the pole. Men and women alike cheered, and Freed liked to think that he had done his good deed for the day. Of course, the dancing man might disagree when the spell wore off, but that was hardly a problem.

He'd dispel his magic as the man was dancing. It would be fun to see him crumple.

"The hell are you doing?" A loud rumbling voice came from behind, and Freed smirked.

Right on time.

"What does it look like, my dear," Freed said, not looking towards the angel looming over him. "Exercising my Devil given right to annoy you. Is it working?"

"Take the spell off him," The angel demanded. "Now."

"During his dance. Imagine the embarrassment, it would be debilitatingly humiliating," Freed laughed quietly. "Would he be able to look himself in the mirror? Would he be allowed back out of his home? Would he cry? Rather cruel, aren't you angel?"

"Shut it, devil," The angel growled.

"So rude," Freed tutted while grinning. When a hand planted itself firmly on his shoulder, Freed turned to look to the man. "Good evening, Laxus."

It was always disheartening to see Laxus disguised as a human. He was good looking in their terms, with broad shoulders, a thin waist, handsomely rugged features, and a damn cocky smirk when he used it. But Freed always missed seeing his wings. They were long stretching, tinged and scarred by lightning, with feathers so soft that Freed couldn't decide whether he wanted to stroke them or to pluck them out to see the man scream. He was a magnificent beast of an angel – the counterpart to Freed's demon – and very fun to annoy.

"Hypnosis on humans is fucking illegal," Laxus growled.

"Then it's good that I didn't use it," Freed dismissed, placing the wine on the bartop. "I only lowered his inhibitions. He's lost all doubt and regret, and he's simply doing what he wants to do. Hardly a war crime."

"Tell him that when the police come," Laxus murmured, and Freed laughed. Would the man be arrested before he was naked? Freed hoped not; human anatomy always made him chuckle. "You ain't supposed to be on earth. The hell is wrong with you?"

"You're here," Freed retorted, ignoring the question. "Won't you get in trouble too, angel?"

"I'm only here because I knew you were pulling this shit," Laxus whispered harshly, hand on Freed's shoulder tightening. "And I wanted to get you to cut it the hell out before," he jutted his chin up, "they figure out what you're doing."

"But the danger is half the fun," Freed smirked.

Laxus said nothing else, instead surrounding them both with a wave of angelic magic. As was natural for a demon, the overall holiness of the gesture sent a shooting of pain over Freed, but he grit his teeth and allowed the spell to take effect. A moment later, he was teleported to a blank, bland, nothing room nestled in the middle of limbo.

This was always how his little dance with Laxus went. Freed would sneak down to earth, annoy, and torment a human in a way with very few long-lasting consequences so that he could get a fill of fun, Laxus would somehow be informed of what Freed had done and would stop him before any other heavenly figures realised what he was doing, and he would be teleported away. It had happened hundreds of times, and always ended with Laxus yelling at him for his stupidity but never actually doing anything to stop him.

His face would soon be angry, and his wings would be spasming and flickering. Anger was a good look on the man.

But, truly, this dance was getting boring. They were all-powerful beings, opponents by very nature, who had met in the middle of battel and had underwent fights that would be studied for history in years to come. They shouldn't have gotten stuck in a rut. It was almost insulting.

"Why don't you leave me alone?" Freed asked before Laxus could begin shouting.

"What?" The angel asked, taken unaware.

"Well, I understand that your side likes to preach forgiveness and repentance and so on, so perhaps I can understand you trying to stop me the first ten or so times, but we've been doing this for years now," Freed smirked, leaning forward and leaning against a white table. He looked up at Laxus from under his lashes, flirtatious and smirking. "I'm not changing my ways, and you know it. So why not leave me to get killed by your darling overlords?"

Laxus tensed his jaw, grit his teeth, and let his wings shoot out from his back. What a lovely sight. Freed quickly removed his own human disguise, horns cracking from his skull and eyes turning a red and purple swirl.

"Everyone can improve," Laxus retorted. "I think that, given-"

"I've known you for centuries, Laxus, I know when you're parroting that ridiculous heavenly mantra," Freed cut off the argument before it could be made. "I want to know why you, angel supreme Laxus Dreyar, is being ever so kind to me so often."

He said nothing, and Freed grinned.

"May I offer my thoughts, since you don't seem to want to answer," Freed continued. "I think we're more alike than you think. You and I, you see, we're fighters. You can claim pacifism all you want, but I know you loved every moment of engagement. Showing off your power, proving yourself to be an overwhelming force of nature, it was everything you ever wanted. And then it was taken away from you, and you were at a loss of what you could do. Everything was peaceful and there was nobody to do battle with. Nobody to impress. Nobody but me."

"That ain't what happened," Laxus grunted. He walked towards a door Freed assumed would take him back to heaven, and Freed quickly intercepted.

"It's exactly what happened. I'm your opponent, in this little game we've created for ourselves," Freed smirked, took a single step forward so he was in Laxus' space and yet not quite touching him. "It was fun, as games go, but I think we should move past it. Flip the board and do something a little more," he smirked, and raked his claws over Laxus chest before hissing, "tactile."

Laxus' face held an expression Freed was familiar with. He was on the brink of doing something he wanted to do more than anything, but knew it was wrong. A look that, on humans, brought Freed a giddy thrill.

Seeing it on Laxus was euphoria.

The angel swallowed slightly, looking over Freed's face, his claws, his horns and then back to his face again. His eyes were dilated just a little, body tensing and muscles hardening as if he was trying to steel his resolve. He was so close to breaking, and making both of their lives both more pleasurable and much more interesting. He just needed a nudge. Freed was happy to oblige.

"That was the problem with the war, I feel," He purred, voice like silk and seductive. "Place men of unsurmountable power together and make them fight. It fuels passion. We were purpose built to feel strongly about one another. To obsess over one another. To rely on one another," He raised his hand and dug his claws into Laxus' jaw. "What did they think would happen when we could no longer fight? Falling for each other was inevitable."

"I ain't fallen, not for you," Laxus murmured as he leant close to Freed, tenseness giving way. He was even smiling, ever so slightly, and that was all the encouragement that he needed.

"Aren't you?" Freed grinned, stroking Laxus' cheek and loving the restrained mewling that bubbled in the angel's throat.

"No," Laxus murmured, bringing his lips closer to Freed, and his grin was just as unhindered as Freed's.

"Well," Freed purred, pressing into Laxus' chest. "Put your money where your mouth is then."

He closed the gap between them, and two millenniums of tension exploded to life in a slow, tender kiss. The mixture of magics gave their kiss a burning, fizzing sensation that spurred them both on. The contrast of their bodies stung and felt fantastic, addictively peculiar and driving them to kiss harder.

Laxus' wings outstretched behind him, then wrapped around them both. The comforting feathers tingled at Freed's back, and he leant against the man with a smirk as they pulled apart. Laxus was smiling at him, not a lingering sense of doubt in sight, and Freed grinned.

As fun as it would have been to taint an angel, bring him to his knees and make him turn his back on his culture, Freed had truly believed his words. They were fated to be together; it only made sense. Freed had broken countless rules set after the war, and he should have been struck down by lightning or burned at the stake for his crimes. Even with Laxus looking over him, the powers of fate were more powerful, and breaking of the rules came with immediate punishment. He hadn't been killed, despite his flagrant disregard of the rules. There was a reason for that, and he liked to think he'd been saved for Laxus. The fact Laxus had showed no regret, nor no fear about what he had done, seemed to suggest Laxus agreed with the sentiment.

Now, Freed was in a new game, a much more fun one. A game where it wasn't simply a demon fighting against an angel. No, this game had only one side. A flirtatious demon with an abhorrence for boredom, and his darling, virtuous fallen angel. Who would dare oppose them?

Le Parisien – 02.11.2025

Une Célébrité Populaire Prise Dans Le Scandale De La Nudité En Public.

Hier soir, le chanteur et danseur populaire Grey Fullbuster a été arrêté à Paris. Les rapports ont affirmé que, dans une démonstration de confiance ivre, il est monté au sommet d'une scène dans la discothèque Devil's Door, et a commencé à enlever tous ses vêtements et à danser contre un poteau. Les réactions à la situation vont du dégoût moral au plaisir divertissant. Dans une déclaration faite par le manager du chanteur, Fullbuster a affirmé que "Le diable m'a fait le faire".

[what-the--curtains]

Playlist - Chapter 12

1. Numb – Marina and the Diamonds (Rescue)

I can't breathe, and I can't smile, This better be worth my while.

I feel numb most of the time,

Oh, it's a reasonable sacrifice.

Forego families, forego friends It's how it started, how it ends I can't open up and cry 'Cause I've been silent all my life

Oh, I get dark oh and I'm in hell I need a friend, oh but I can't yell Yeah, I'm no good, no good to anyone

2. Nightmares – Easy Life (Recovery)

Who gives a fuck about my nightmares? 'Cause I can barely focus when I'm like this And lately, forty winks would be just priceless I wrestle with myself and with my vices

But I don't need to know what's real or not no more I don't need to know what's real or not no more

I've never been so tired and lately I don't feel quite right

Everybody on the brink of crisis No one gives a fuck about my nightmares But it's nothing you should worry yourself about

3. Doom days - Bastille (Life in 13)

When I watch the world burn all I think about is you

Cruising through the doom days God knows what is real and what is fake

Last couple years have been a mad trip How'd you look so perfect? You must have some portraits in the attic

Let's pick the truth that we believe in Like a bad religion Tell me all your original sins So many questionable choices We love the sound that our voice makes Man, this echo chamber's getting loud

We'll be the proud remainers Here till the morning breaks us

4. Allie or Enemies - The Crane Wives (Fight)

The words I speak are wildfires and weeds. They spread like some awful damn disease. I swear I didn't mean what I said

Now listen close. You owe me ears for dropping eaves Forget it all. You caught me in a moment weak Sometimes I just can't help myself

What happens now? Do we have another go? Do we bow out and take our separate roads? I'll admit I've had my doubts, but I want to be let in not out

All is fair in love and war, but I can't fight with you anymore

Are we allies or enemies? This will be the death of me

5. Ophelia – The Lumineers (Leaving Fight)

I, when I was younger I, should have known better and I can't feel no remorse, and you don't feel nothing back

Oh, Ophelia You've been on my mind girl since the flood Oh, Ophelia Heaven help a fool who falls in love

And I don't feel nothing at all And you can't feel nothing small

[theoriginalnikegirl]

This whole discussion, and my last reread, and me doing some recent thoughts about exactly my feelings around Elfangor have all combined and I’ve got some stuff to say.

So, I, as a wee 12-yr-old, thought I would never forgive Jake. Thought that Rachel’s death would never not hurt. But then, you know, 15 years and about 11 rereads later here we are. Rachel’s death still HURTS. But it’s not, like, so sharp or vivid anymore. It’s dulled a lot. I’ve accepted it.

It is important-ish to note that Rachel would have gone on that suicide mission even if Jake hadn’t told her to. She TELLS US THIS

Jake sent me away with Tom.

I understood. I approved. If Jake hadn’t sent me, I’d have gone anyway. –The Beginning

So yes. And especially thinking about forgiving Jake in the context of MY most recent read of the series, like, fuck, man this kid breaks my heart. I used to be furious with him, I used to skip his books, I used to, well rn I’m in some fan spaces with a big anti-Jaks energy and I used to be right there with them. But Jake is a tragedy. The other kids get to go home, and yeah they have nightmares but they feel reasonably safe in their homes. JAKE NEVER HAS THAT. He’s always running on super high anxious energy when he’s to the others like:

“Go home. Get some sleep. We’ll meet back here tomorrow morning and take a vote.” –The Diversion

He’s telling the others to relax and recharge and he’s going into another battle, one where his team can’t follow him. Like, GOODNESS. And the whole reason he’s fighting the war, the WHOLE reason, is yeah obviously for the sake of humanity as pointed out by @thejakeformerlyknownasprince his actions prove that, but he wanted, he hoped, up til the end that he would save his brother:

I tried to imagine life without Tom. Without my older brother. I’d be an only child. Marco was an only child. So were Cassie and Tobias.

But I wasn’t and I didn’t want to be. –The Conspiracy

Like, gut punches all around.

And then tying this into some recent thoughts I’ve had about Elfangor, long story short I take MASSIVE issues with the scene in 33 (which I read as an actual spiritual experience since it’s one of TWO times Tobias gets to talk with Elfangor) where Elfangor basically shits on Tobias who’s been tortured to the brink of death and tells him “you’ve got to keep fighting this war, because it’s the LITERALLY the only thing I gave you, and you can’t give up, because I say you can’t” especially after, y'know, the only other TWO things Elfangor ever did in regards to Tobias caused him massive harm. So, like, while I recognize Elfangor did not have any better options when he drafted the kids, I, personally, cannot forgive him.

But we can directly compare a lot of shit Elfangor did to a lot of shit the kids did, like say, Elfangor drafted literal children, and then the literal children drafted disabled children, which EHHHH. And, like, do I *forgive* the children for that? I mean now that I’m to this point in this post I’m not even sure if I know what it means to *forgive* but I sure as hell love them through it so I guess??? Ish???

Anyways, I also read a fanfic (sry can’t remember which) from Tobias’ pov reflecting “I’m not angry at Jake anymore. I’m just sad about him” and same so I don’t know what’s going on or what I’m saying but I hope someone feels me

Do you think Tobias ever forgave Jake after the war?

Related question: forgave Jake for what?

Rachel’s death is the really big one, of course, but that like a symptom of a bigger problem.  If you look at all the major conflicts in Jake and Tobias’s relationship, a pattern starts to emerge: Tobias doesn’t like the way that Jake uses his friends.  Jake knows, but can’t really do anything about it.

Tobias blows up at Jake when Jake asks Ax to take additional risks  in #11 and #26.  Tobias scolds Jake into an apology when Jake says he can’t trust and won’t use Cassie after she lets the yeerks have the morphing cube.  Tobias feels (but doesn’t express) visceral disgust with Jake when he realizes Jake’s planning to feed him to the meat grinder in #33.  Tobias deliberately undercuts Jake when Jake’s angry at Rachel for using morphing carelessly (#12) and when Jake’s trying to advance the Animorphs’ cause at the expense of Toby’s (#23, #52).  Tobias pulls out a “what Jake doesn’t know won’t hurt him” attitude any time he thinks Jake might be able to talk everyone out of an idea (MM2, #46).  He chews Jake a new asshole if Jake even tries to retreat from battle without first saving everyone (#11, #16, MM4, #41).

Tobias wants to secure the team’s oxygen masks before attempting to help others.  Jake wants to save humanity, and he’s willing to sacrifice his friends for the good of his species.  Their worldviews have always been incompatible.

And then Jake commits what is, in Tobias’s eyes, the worst betrayal imaginable.  He sends Rachel to her death.  Someone Tobias loves dies, on Jake’s orders.  The decision makes sense from Jake’s point of view — someone has to do something about Tom’s yeerk, and Rachel is the best fighter on the team.  Not only does Jake need to be on the Pool ship to call the shots on the battle, he needs to be the big red cape for Tom’s yeerk to charge at so Rachel can be the lance that kills from behind.  Jake also knows there’s a distinct possibility he’ll hesitate at the wrong moment, but that Rachel is strong enough to get the job done.

But from Tobias’s point of view, this is the worst-case scenario that he’s been fearing since he discovered Jake’s feet of clay in #3.  Tobias hates the way Jake asks his teammates to take risks he doesn’t take himself.  Tobias probably knows that it’s necessary — as MM3 and #37 demonstrate, the team wouldn’t function if Jake died — but Tobias hates that reality.  It drives Tobias up the wall in #4 and MM1 when he can’t join part of a mission because he can’t morph, and it’s a big deal for him in #13 when he can finally be the one to take the risk.  He wants to be the one to take the risk whenever possible (#27, #43, #51), because Jake’s use of his teammates like players on a field is anathema to Tobias.

Anyway, I do think Jake was doing the best he could in a bad situation when he sent Rachel to kill Tom.  But I also think that Tobias is well within his right to hate Jake’s guts for that decision.

A related question: what does “forgiveness” look like?  Tobias is willing to work with Jake in spite of his anger in #54, but then that’s also true in earlier books.  Jake and Tobias have to a large extent accepted that they’ll never see eye-to-eye by #33, but I also think there’s an unavoidable awareness on Tobias’s part that the events of #33 would never have happened if not for Jake.  Tobias and Jake demonstrate willingness to die for each other, but they’re not exactly friends and they don’t like each other that much, even before Rachel’s death.  Yes, that is the thing that tips them over the edge, but the scoot toward that edge was going on for a long time beforehand.