#'i cant stay. as much as i want to. i have things that arent finished' ROLLING AROUND ROLLING AROUND and he could have just stayed!!!

[heavensmortuary]

not even joking one bit but reading Trigun was like. It's ok to grieve and burn at the cruelty and overwhelming pain that you see and feel and know you're capable of immense evil and it's normal to feel disgusted with your own capacity for evil (even if you're trying your BEST not to hurt others) and it's ok to grieve about how broken the world is, as long as you don't go to those dark places, either in your mind or wherever your path leads, alone. As long as your anger doesn't lead you to sin. As long your despair doesn't pull others into despair.

That your own capacity for good and peace can be shattered in an single weak moment, and that's just your nature, but it has to be fought against regardless, and you can't do it alone. That grief and struggle are not things to keep to yourself, they're nothing to be ashamed about, that embracing them will help others too.

Trigun really said that joy ISNT happiness, and should never be confused as such. Joy is a bloody, dirt and glass shard covered thing. It's not just for yourself, but for others around you. If you have joy maybe they can hold onto it too, hold it close to them too. Because sometimes hope simply isn't enough. Sometimes things are hopeless. But joy makes a hopeless fight worth struggling over. Joy makes you abound in hope. Patient in tribulation. Lacking nothing.

To quote N.D. Wilson in 'Notes From The Tilt-A-Whirl', "Tragedy must be destroyed by someone willing to be swallowed by it, willing to be broken, torn out of the flesh, but able to return to it."

It's holding nothing back. Willing to face to most horrific parts of your own self, the worst of this world, the things you are desperately scared of, the things you hate, to suffer long, and hold nothing back. To live like you're meant to die. Meant to be ragged. Run until there's nothing left, until everything is burned away and even the bones don't remain. That's how life is supposed to be lived. Nothing held back, thrown into the darkness. Biting and tearing screaming into the sunlight

[phagodyke]

oh who am I fucking kidding. I'm not gonna go am I.

[portgasdwrld]

📂OP men + aftercare

Featuring: Luffy, Zoro, Law, GN!reader

Warning: Suggestive, comedy, fluff

Note: I might do more fun posts like this!!

Zoro

-Zoro.?

-Mmmm?

-Can you clean me up, please?

You ask in a sigh as you feel your body already beginning to feel sore. His body slightly shift in the bed as he opens his eye and stares at you somewhat perplexed.

-Huh..? ...Like with my tongue?

-No, you dumbass! With a towel or something, i don't wanna sleep feeling all sticky.

You softly hit his big arm as a muffled chuckle leave your lips. You didn’t paint him as clueless to aftercare as this.

-We can be sticky together then take care of this tomorro-

-No, we cant. Its part of the aftercare babe…

-Whats that?

-Omg..

Luffy

-Luffy, can you bring me a glass of water?

-You're thirsty? Ngl, im kinda hungry too, let me call Sanj-

He starts to rumble as he let his hand rest over his bare abs thinking of all the good food Sanji cooks. You gasp in shock at the thought of Luffy really calling the blond man.

-Don't!- Don't call Sanji for that!

-Why? Arent you hungry ?

He asks confused as his gaze shift to your bare body covered by his sheets. He props himself on his elbows as a yawn leaves his mouth.

-Nah that was you bro. I want water.

-im so lazyyy, but if it makes you happy!

He leaves and then comes back with few pieces of meat and forgot about the water.

Law

He let his body fall next to you as he let a deep groan out. He stays like this for few seconds before he sits up and rubs his eyes, feeling suddenly tensed.

-I have to catch up on so much, I���m not sure what I’m going to be attacking tonight…Maybe I should finish this chap-

-Law…babe, what are you rumbling about.?

You ask in a tired tone as you hoped to be able to cuddle a little with your boyfriend, feel his warmth and being able to enjoy some intimacy after having sex together. He pushes the sheets away from his legs as he prepares himself to leave the bed and change into his clothes, before you grab his arm firmly.

-You’re not leaving me like that. We are going to cuddle and when I’m satisfied you go back to your studying.

-Huh? I have a lot of things to do Y/n-ya..

-Yeah, well you gotta upgrade your aftercare game, because you’re making me feel shitty right now.

He pauses as he takes his time weighting your words and his thoughts. His tired eyes look at you and his lips creep up into a faint smirk. He puts back the sheets on him and props you on him so he has his arms wrapped around your shoulders.

-Sorry, I will work on it.

[ssparksflyy]

hello! can i request jason grace or leo valdez x child of hypnos reader ? (gn) 🫶🏻🫶🏻

ask and thou shall receive ༉‧₊˚.

jason grace dating hcs! ٩(ˊ〇ˋ*) ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁

pairing: jason grace x child of hypnos!reader warning(s): none!! js fluff :) a/n: i love children of hypnos, u stay sleepy ! also me writing this running off five hours of sleep ( the most ive gotten this week ) yikes..

mr gets up willingly at six am nd his sleepy lover ♡

there are times where u literally have to beg jason to go back to bed cause omfg what r u doing. its six am. no u r not going to go run. no the early bird doesnt get the worm. go. back. to. sleep.

hey nd most times it works cause the thought of holding u close and a sweet sweet dream is enough to get him back in bed

but other times noooo he goes running 🙄

what is bro running from? sleep???

omg but then literally knocks tf out by like nine

one of the times when you had a sleepover planned together

you were running a little late cause ur cabin's ac wasnt working nd everybody was tweaking out

so you had to stay behind and help fix it

by the time you finished and ran over to cabin one , jason was already passed out nd lightly snoring 😭

mind you it was like 9:15 pm

its ok tho u were tired asf too , who knew fixing the ac could be so hard ??

he apologized sm in the morning tho

but u were like its okay el oh el

he cant help it bro he needs his sleep almost as much as he needs you

its better that he falls asleep early than stay up super late tho

cause like when he was helping plan out the new cabins, it was impossible to convince him to go to sleep

he wouldnt stop working nd u were like 😠 fool 😠 go to sleep 😠

nd he was like no thank youuuuu ♡

so you used your powers on him cause he hadNT SLEPT IN DAYS

u were both mad at each other in the morning and things were painfully tense

but you sat down nd talked it out like mature ppl ♡

he srsly hates fighting, he already does it with monsters nd shit so much, he doesnt want to do it w you :(

he apologized for being ignorant and promised he would be better about taking care of himself instead of burying himself in work

you apologized for using your powers on him without saying anything first, and promised you wouldn't do it again ( unless its necessary ) :))

to this day, youve still kept your promises ♡

jason is SUCH a sucker for when you touch his hair

the most relaxing thing everrrrr

i will die on this hill ppl dont play w me

his hair would be soft asf bro

best believe he uses a good conditioner !!

he lets u play w his hair nd do wtv u want with it cause like ~relaxing~

so best believe you have a 0.5 of him with all his hair tied up and looking like a palm tree

0.5s of jason would literally be flawless asf but scary

cause ur like omg by bf is so cute- god DAMN somebody get this man contacts

he looks amazing but THEM EYES

terrifying. staring into ur soul.

theyre cute tho ♡♡

you OBVI have matching pjs

i cannot decide if jason would go to sleep w just pj pants nd no shirt or if would have light blue and white striped pants, a button up shirt, slippers, a cap with a little fuzzy ball at the end, nd a candlestick

jason grace is a SPECTRUM OKAY

but he buys u so many plushies ugh

you own so many jellycats im so jealous

he helps u name them nd their literally ur children like

u have matching build-a-bears !!!

the voice memos are messages u made for each other :(

his to u is a quick ramble about how much he loves u but gets cut off cause he only had 20 seconds ♡♡

nd u get matching outfits for them!!

urs is named 'sleepy' and his is named 'sparky' ♡

i feel like jason gets some real bad nightmares

like yea every demigod does but he gets his more frequently nd their more graphic bcs of what he's seen and gone through :(

most of the time they arent even messages from his dad, theyre just really bad flashbacks of horrible times in his life

but ever since you started spending ur nights together, theyve toned down so much

now he even gets dreams abt your future together sometimes :((

he really wants to tell you about those dreams cause they feel so real but hes scared that youll think its weird or get uncomfortable

little does he know you get those exact same dreams ♡

and on the same nights as he does...

CAUSE UR MEETING IN UR DREAMSSSSSSS

nd thats how ur dad shows his love to you !

zeus doesnt gaf. wtv we dont like him anyway

i mean sometimes hes like erm gtfo my cabin 🤨

but doesn't actually do anything

u literally dont care for anybody's thoughts tho cause you bagged a baddie as sleepy as you ♡

an two: ik i didnt talk abt sleepovers together but like ive got a jason fic called sleepover (thats also gn!) if u wanted to read that :DD but i hoped u enjoyed and have a good day/night!! GO STREAM THE TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT.

peace from manhattan,

percy jackson ♡

[hisaame]

OK kinda a specific request but like- could you do a Scara x fem!reader or gn!reader where he’s like overworking himself due to his studies(probably bc of his mommy issues sjsjks) and reader is like comforting and convincing him to go to sleep w her/them since it was late? Modern au ofc. And basically Scaramouche is being all stingy about it like “no I’m fine” and stuff but eventually goes to bed because of readers sweet words haha

Of m y god this ones adorablw i love soft scara THANK UU!!

╰⪼ “fine, for you." ♡

╰ — scaramoucheˊˊ」

╎『modern au!ˎˎ

[fluff] — 『warnings: workaholic scara, soft scara again (i swear these arent real warnings), cursing, scara mommy issues, readers pronouns arent used, but feminine body type』

It has already been a long week for you and Scaramouche, school was a pain in the ass, as well was studying. You would usually be studying at the schools library with friends, or mainly with your boyfriend, Scaramouche. But even with you being done with everything, he continued studying, alone.

It was late at night, around one in the morning, you had just finished some chores since you didn't have much to do, and you weren't tired then. But now you were, all the chores you did worn you out. You thought your lover jad already gone to sleep or is possibly waiting for you, but once you entered your twos' bedroom with a tired yawn, you saw Scaramouche still at the desk, focused.

'he's still studying?..' you thought to yourself, slowly walking over to your lover who seemed too focused to even notice your there. But with a gentle pat on his shoulder, he flinched slightly, then turned to look at you with tired eyes. "[yn]? Why aren't you in bed?" he asked, rubbing his eyes as his other hand still held a pen between his slender fingers.

"Shouldn't i be asking you the same thing?" you replied with a raised eyebrow, looking at Scaramouches own eyes that seemed to already have eyebags under them, his eyelids drooping as he forced himself to stay awake. "shit," he mumbled "you go, ill join you later. I have to finish this shit." with a groan, he turned back to studying, his eyes trying to soak in every word he reads from the book, and writing the more important things down.

You sighed, a bit frustrated now. "Scaramouche, please, finish it tomorrow, you look like you're barely awake." you pat his head, running your fingers through his dark indigo locks. You just loved him too much to let him overwork himself like this, he needs to be getting enough sleep. "Cant you fucking see i cant? This is important, alright? Do you think i wanna fucking do this either?" he groaned, frustrated with how long he's studied, and barely able to focus with his sleepiness. But seeing how he was a bit too mean to you, he mumbled "... Shit, im sorry. Love, please just go to bed, im fine."

he rubbed his eyes yet again as you replied "not without you. If im going to sleep right now, ill make sure you're right beside me.", you crossed your arms below your chest, glaring at your boyfriend. Why must you be so persistent? He cant even get his studies done with you like this. "I told you im fine, plus ill be in bed soon anyway." he put his hand on your hip, still reading over the words he's trying to memorize. His hand caressed your hip, then went around your thighs to pull you close. "There will be no later, come on." you groaned, too worried about your overworked lover.

"mmh, so soft..." the male mumbled, pressing his head against your stomach, to where he could reach since he was sitting down and you were standing up. He used your stomach as a head rest while reading. His hand still caressed your plush thighs. "Yeah? U can hug me all you want when we're in bed." you smirked, seeing how this was actually working. He narrowed his eyes, very tempted. After all, he could just finish this tomorrow, right? No big deal? Tomorrow he promises himself to study with you.

"fucking fine... Lets go. You better keep your word." he finally gave up, standing up lazily as the both of you walked to bed. He quite literally threw himself on the bed while you followed by doing it the.. safer way. He groaned as soon as he stretched his back, cramped from being in the same position. Now he gets his reward. You.

He lazily wrapped his arms around you, nuzzling his face into your neck, all while you held him in your arms. You did scold him a little for overworking himself, to which he only giggled and said "oops".

And he fell asleep almost immediately...

♡

[the-s1lly-corner]

Can I ask N (nightmare), E (ex), and I (injury) (angst alphabet) for Husk?

N, E, I with Husk (angst alphabet)

Me thinks I might write some angst alphabet stuff for myself after finishing requests

Notes: reader is GN although the post focuses a lot on Husk, reader is written as a sinner for Injury, written on mobile woo yeah

Prompts: Nightmare, Ex, Injury

CWs: injuries and alchohol use

EX

I'm sure Husk has at least one ex, you're not his first. And he understands that he isnt your first either. Hes made peace with that and quite frankly he'd think he would be an idiot if he DID take issue with that

If your ex comes around, hes not going to care all that much on its own.. however he does seethe internally if your ex tries to make any advances towards you. He will step in, even before you have the chance to show any discomfort

Or worse, reciprocating... Husk has little tolerance for that, so that's a quick way to put the relationship on the rocks

Unless he has a reason to worry, hes going to let you act as you wish- hes not going to control you or treat you like you cant make your own choices

INJURY

He tries to keep himself together for you as he tries to stop the bleeding, but hes not going to lie to himself inside and tell him things arent as bad as they are

He may lie to you though if you ask him if he thinks you're gonna be okay... but the split second hesitation is more than enough to tell you what hes really thinking

And if you got attacked and said attacker was still in the area? Hes torn between trying to help you, and keeping an eye out for them

Theres nothing he wants more in that moment than to snap back, but you're his priority at the moment

Will drag you somewhere safer to try to conceal you, will try to stop the bleeding if possible

Emotionally shuts off but hes just barely contained enough to keep from exploding

Will turn to drinking in the days following to try to force those emotions down, they feel too raw and hes not ready to unpack that- will do this regardless of if you lived or not

NIGHTMARE

Husk has nightmares every now and then, but he doesn't like to talk about them. You wont be an exception, at least for a while... theres a chance he may eventually cave and simply.. talk.. not for comfort or reassurance, but just to get that energy out

When you're the one having nightmares, he wakes you up the second hes aware and reassures you you're still in bed

Hes not the best at being soft and comforting, so theres a chance he may come off as cold and blunt when you ask for his input and comfort on something

Which.. if you werent already used to it, you may feel hurt

Its not like he doesnt try, of course

Doesnt force you to go back to bed, will take you to the bar if you want to stay awake

[wolvertooth]

~ The Transfem Nb Logan Essay ~

majority of his identity, his mask, is tied to masculinity. he doesnt want to lose that, as its the only solid part of himself he knows.

it’s what he remembers. hes on a constant search for the man he used to be, the man he thinks he was, to distract on how he actually feels in the present.

he doesnt want to lose that side of himself in fear of change, in fear of losing what little he has of his identity again. but what he fails to understand is that he doesnt have to keep clinging to it.

he'll still always have it, just as he'll always have other parts of himself as well. the mask isnt all he is, but he doesnt know how to deal without having it. the mask is what others like. the mask is the self he likes, the one that keeps him safe. and the mask isnt entirely fake, its just that those parts of him are just being used in the wrong way. its also the way the animal side of him is referred to. ‘not a man’. im aware its used an emotional metaphor, but it has potential for a trans metaphor too. he feels different and doesnt have the words to explain it. being Man is what he knows to choose over the animal, knowing he needs to keep that over whats inside. especially after the memory loss, he wants to hold onto that more ‘human’ side of himself. to hold onto ‘Logan’. not only is he presenting exactly as hes always known Logan to be, hes presenting as everyone else has always known him. he already struggles with accepting others can even tolerate him for his problems, and doesnt wanna risk changing something as big as his identity. when u dont feel solid, when u dont understand ur own feelings, u attach yourself to whatever solid thing u can. except, what if that solid self wasnt really you either? i think a lot of this realization would come from remembering who he was before weapon x, before the wars, and realizing the Logan version of himself that hes been trying to hold onto isnt as genuine to who he is as he thought. he didnt know himself then either. even further back, childhood, before anything bad happened...he lacked that sense of toughness. he had a happy carefree spirit. its closer to being real, but still, a child also hasnt developed yet. and the realization hits that the selves in his past arent what hes supposed to be looking for. thats something youre supposed to keep defining as you change and learn as you age, and hes definitely done a lotta aging since then. if you dont have a proper grasp on how u feel, the person youre perceiving yourself to be isnt gonna be entirely true. the immortality concept hits next. how other people get a time limit to discover themselves, while his is never ending. theres no finish line, no final self, which would likely freak him out a bit at first. and due to his spiritual side, i think he'd have a long journal sesh about this topic. like, what is 'self' if you peel back all the layers and find it? then what? would you still stay the same? or would you be cursed to be forever changing and evolving?....thing is, your core doesnt really change much. just the outer parts, like opinions and interests and ways of presenting. those are meant to change forever, while your core sticks with you. so whats his core feel like?

he can do anything he wants, and all the time to do it. why keep limiting himself?....what does he even want? or rather, what does he want now? 'anything' is a pretty large category of things to choose from. hes never really had to choose much before. surely he cant like everything, everyones got some kinda preference. but he doesnt need to do a complete ego death and give up everything thats interested him in the past, just reevaluate what things he still resonates with, and what things he's been repressing. so, he goes out and starts practicing, to search for who he is in the moment, rather than the past. searching for his future. its hard at first, breaking out of that small box in order to allow new things and conflicting interests. if he didnt have to be just Man, what would that person enjoy? i think over the years of accepting his mutantness, he's also grown to like the way his body looks, and would lean towards revealing clothes to show it off. (but its not just his clothes, he'd be seeking out other things that his toxic masculinity has restricted him from as well obv). and after accepting that he'll still look and act exactly the same no matter what he wears, he'd probably get into all kinds of styles, feminine masculine casual fancy, whatever, to make up for wearing the same stuff for basically a century. i only use transfem as a way to describe the direction he went from moving his gender away from masculinity, but he'd probably fw identifying as unlabeled(to represent his goal of defining himself by the present moment and accepting change)(but also if he knew about neogenders he'd probably be like 'my gender is feral type mutant', as well as still being a bit of a guy)(as ‘guy’ has a lot less pressure than Man) its true that its important to remember parts of your past, of what make you You, but only as a stepping stone to lead into who you’ll be in the future, or else you’ll forever just be stuck in the past as an incomplete person. sure, a person is never forever complete, but they can be someone in the moment, which can get clearer over time the more you experience being yourself. letting yourself be influenced by emotions, reactions, and the world around you, not restricting to be just a fixed mask or defined certain labels. as the caged animal metaphor implies, thats exactly what his identity is. caged. his striving to be a Man, used in the way of meaning Mankind, taken the wrong manner and caging himself within the perceived views of men, rather than in the human way. to be human is to define yourself, not to be defined by others. by not allowing the animal out, in fear of being defined by it, he unknowingly is still forcing himself to be defined by what he thinks those around him expect of him. he isnt just caging the animal, hes caging himself.

authors note: i have a long history and complex relationship with my identity, not knowing if i should return to who i was or keep trying to craft someone new, having constant on and off body dysphoria. i see a lot of people who resonate with wolverines butchness and potential to be ftm, but i had a basically the opposite reaction. i already had his exact body type upon becoming a fan of him(short, incredibly hairy, bushy eyebrows that i would shave out of hatred, and parts of me arguing over wanting to keep my sideburns or not). i wanted to embrace my prettiness, parts of me feeling more on the girl side, but other parts liked the socially viewed ‘masc’ things about my body, especially tied into my more ‘masc’ acting attitude....my guy sides and girl sides were at war. how could i have both? i wanted everything, but didnt know how, didnt know if it’d be ok....

from the first time i saw him(in x1), i didnt see a Man, i didnt see him as butch. i saw him as pretty. almost like a girl, but in the way parts me felt sorta like a girl. it was like it was telling me ‘you can be both. you can be all your contradicting parts, bcuz this guy can too. these dont have to be seen as masculine things if you dont want to see them that way. and when youre older, this is what you’ll look like. you’ll be ok.’

instead of being body goals like a lot of trans fans experienced for him, he was my body acceptance.

[quijabored]

Spoilers for the entirety of S5 of BSD cuz I finished it and what the FUCK just happened

Where do I even begin

I can't take this shit anymore bro, HOW THE FUCK DO FICTIONAL MEN ON A LITTLE SCREEN MAKE ME SO EMOTIONAL

Cuz like-

And-

AH????

HOW DO I EVEN-

Okay okay uh

Dazai

WHAT THE FUCK DAZAI

FIRST OFF, I LOVE THAT MAN SO MUCH OH MY GOD

HE SCARED ME SO BADLY LIKE I KNEW HE WASNT GONNA DIE BUT IT JUST- SEEING THE BLOOD AND SEEING EVERYTHING FALL APART I CANT

I HAD TO PAUSE LIKE HALFWAY THROUGH CUZ I NEEDED TO PROCESS

SIGMA

HES SO SILLY

I FUCKING LOVE MY CHILDREN

Terribly sorry for the vulgar language I am very emotional right now how do I process this-

THE ENTIRE TIME HE WAS WITH DAZAI I WAS LIKE "Oooooh please join the ADA youd fit right in-"

EVEN WITH HIS FIRST APPEARANCE WHEN ATSUSHI SAVED HIM LIKE

AAAAHHHHHH

Asagiri please make ADA Sigma, ASAGIRI PLEASE

I REALLY HOPE HE GETS INTO THE ADA OH MY GOD

THE WHOLE HOME THING PLEASE I JUST

HES SO ME

I LOVE BSD OH MY GOD I LOVE BSD I LOVE BSD I LOVE BSD I-

THE WHOLE VAMPIRE STUFF GOES CRAZY WHAT THE FUCK

Can't believe Chuuya manadged to trick a mastermind with contact lenses and glued on fangs

THE WHOLE KENJI STUFF??? I LOVE HIM????

Please the fact that Tecchou is going out of his way to find Jouno like brother that is not straight I love them :(

WAAAAAAA KENJI GOT SO MUCH SHIT THIS SEASON AND PART OF THE LAST ONE TOO LIKE AAGHHH LET HIM HAVE A BREAK

I love Aya and Bram so much, I got sad and happy and upset and excited and-

AAAGGHHH

The table to pull the sword out had me so happy and then it failed and then she jumped down and then I got scared and then she got saved and-

ASAGIRIS PAYING FOR MY HOSPITAL BILLS BRO DEADASS ON THE VERGE OF A HEART ATTACK

AAAGHHHH BRAM SEES AYA AS LIKE HIS DAUGHTER RIGHT??? THEYRE SO CUTE I WANT THEM TO GO ON FAMILY OUTINGS AND HAVE ICE CREAM OR WHATEVER PARENTS DO WITH CHILDREN

"Use youre evil bwahaha power! Do something!"

I LOVE THEM :(

Ranpo getting stabbed in the hand scared me shitless though, like infront of Fukuzawa too??? Really??? Thats his autistic son :(

AAAAAAA okay, OKAY, I don't hate Fukuchi-

I didn't actually hate him, like he pisses me off but god damn he was one of my favorites for a bit and he's staying in top 15 (Not sure if hed make it into top 10 or not)

Fuck man, the shit with Fukuzawa and Fukuchi?? Made me tear up a bit tbh

YOU KNOW WHO I DO HATE??? FYODOR. THAT FUCKING BITCH-

I still want him, I love that man so much I love his character and and and-

THE SHIT HE MANADGED TO PULL OFF THOUGH??? AAAA????

LIKE

OH MY GOD AND THE SHIT WITH SIGMA

Pulling up the episode again to try and find the line

"It only took him 10 odd minutes to minipulate you. You arent the kind of man who would normally take such risks."

Like I read that and I was like "STOP THAT DO NOT TRY AND MINIPULATE MY SON"

And then he continued to try and minipulate my son. And succeeded. Kinda.

ALSO WHATS UP WITH THE NOTE

THE ONE THAT SAID HELP ME IN RUSSIAN

I REMEMBER HEARING PEOPLE TALK ABOUT THAT AND THEIR SPECULATION AS OF TO WHY FYODOR DIDNT MAKE IT BUT THEN LIKE IM PRETTY SURE HE DID??

Either Asagiris gonna pull some wild shit again or Fyodor really thought that far back.

I hate the whole DID section bro like fucking hell Fyodor, QUIT BEING AN ASSHOLE JUST LEAVE SIGMA ALONE :(

AAAAAAAA AND VAMP AKU??? BRO. BRO BRO BRO

I CANT

I CANT EXPLAIN IT BUT THE WHOLE SCENE WHERE ATSUSHIS LIKE "Akutagawa Ik youre in there D:"

LIKE AAAAAAA

THOSE TWO ARE NOT STRAIGHT OH MY GOD

AAAAAAAAA BACK TO DAZAI, WHEN HE GOT SHOT I WAS LIKE "UH UH UH NONONO HES MOT DEAD CUZ- UH- UHHHH CUZ CHUUYA USED HIS INSIDE MIND POWERS AND STOPPED THE BULLET"

I WAS KINDA RIGHT CUZ I DID GENUINELY THINK HE WAS A VAMPIRE AND I WAS LIKE CHUUYA NO

Can't believe Chuuya manadged to trick me with contact lenses and glued on fangs-

AHHH WHEN DAZAI GOT "SHOT" I WAS COPING SO HARD THOUGH

And then I didn't have to cope so that was nice :3

WORDS CANNOT DESCRIBE HOW HAPPY I WAS WHEN FYODOR GOT STABBED IN THE HELICOPTER

OH MY GOD I LOVED THE SCENE BECAUSE PLOT BUT FUCK I HATED THAT SCENE CUZ FYODORS ONE OF MY FAVORITES BRO

I LOVE HIM SO MUCH I NEED TO KILL THAT GUY :(

AAAAAAAA AND NIKOLAI??? HELP??? MY SON??? ITS OKAY ITS OKAY ITS GONNA BE OKAY

"You wanted to kill him, didn't you?"

"Yeah. I certainly did. No, I didnt. No... Youre right."

FUCK.

FUCKING HELL ASAGIRI IM GONNA CRY

Please Asagiri make him come back so he can be like "nooo Nikolai Im not actually dead, youre actually halucinating" or something CUZ FUCK I CANT HAVE NIKOLAI LOOKING SO SAD

HE LOOKS SO VULNERABLE AND I JUST-

AAAAAAAAAA????

Just to be clear, I'm so glad Fyodors dead, I got attached to him knowing he was probably gonna die, and while I do feel hurt by it, HE CAN STOP PESTERING THE ADA YAAAAYYYY

AND IN TURN, SIGMA :DDD

(Hes an ADA member now trust guys trust)

AAAAAAA FUKUCHI AND FUKUZAWA BRO

WHEN FUKUZAWA SLASHED HIM AND WE SAW HIS EXPRESSION LIKE AAAAA

I KEPT SAYING I HATED FUKUCHI BUT I REALLY DIDNT, EVEN IF IT TOOK HIM DYING (??) TO REALIZE THAT

THE WHOLE SCENE WHERE FUKUCHI WAS TELLING FUKUZAWA TO KILL HIM LIKE AAAGGHHHH

AND THE WHOLE WANTING WORLD PEACE LIKE AAAAAAAA

WAAAAAAAA

AND THEN HE GETS KILLED BY TERUKO??? AAA??

MY BABY SHE WAS CRYING I FELT SO BAD LIKE AAAAAHHH

"Dont look at him! Dont do this to him..." WHEN SHE WAS TALKING TO ATSUSHI AFTER LIKE FUCK

AND THEN FUKUZAWA YELLING LIKE WAAAAAAAAAA YOU CANT DO THIS TO ME BRO

ASAGIRI WHEN I CATCH YOU ASAGIRI-

AND THE WAY FUKUZAWA WAS HOLDING HIM PLEASE IM GONNA CRY

I don't usually cry for animes since I just suck with emotions, but this damned show made me pause before the ending to just sob for a good 5 minutes

And now with that out of the way,

WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING??? FYM 2 HOURS LATER??? HOW IS THE WORLD ON FIRE IN 2 HOURS??? HELLO?????

SWITCHING TO THE MANGA THE NEXT TIME I WANNA BSD CUZ ITS SLIGHTLY MORE PROGRESSED FROM MY UNDERSTANDINGS BUT AAAAAAA

FUKUCHI HAD ME SOBBING AND THEN HE COMES BACK AS LIKE A GOD THING??? I THINK????

IS FUKUCHI DEAD OR NOT????

I mean considering he's floating I have no idea what happens BUT STILL

AAAAAAAAA I HATE THIS SHOW SO MUCH IT MAKES ME GO YAY AND THEN NO AND THEN YAY AND THEN NO AND-

SHOUTOUT TO MY COUSIN BTW SHES BEEN SITTING THERE WATCHING ME POUR MY HEART OUT THE ENTIRE TIME I WAS WATCHING THIS DAMN SHOW

I can't ramble to her about much since she's also watching it, BUT AAAAAAA

I LOVE BSD SO MUCH IM SOBBING

I HATE THIS I LOVR THEM SO MUCH I HATE BSD I HATE IT I HATE IT OH MY GOD (I love bsd its my comfort show :3)

[pastriibunz]

heres your letter! i'd rather you private answer this if you do im embarrassed by how gay it is

happy birthday, princess. i know you’ve had a couple rough weeks recently, and im sorry i haven’t been able to do very much for you. i’m sorry last night even happened.

but i can do this. by the time you read this, sotbaw will be done and hopefully fully posted or queued it least. i hope every fic i've written for you this month brought you just a sliver of joy, even if they were all late lol.

this is the only letter i'm writing. i scrapped the other ones because of burnout, but this one was so easy to finish, it barely affected me at all. i’m still not the best letter writer, but i do my best.

you’re incredible. i don't want to talk about kai this whole time, but i think she deserves a mention or two at least. nothing goes unanswered (forever) or unturned when you write, and that shines when you write kai. she’s saved you, i know, but she’s saved me, too, and seeing the way she’s developed over the years (although i've missed almost all of them) is so genuinely amazing. both your drawings and writing come to life around her, no matter the tone. sotbaw would’ve been nothing if not for the little bits you helped out on, and really would’ve been nothing if you hadn’t started it, and boosted me along those first few days, not to mention the fact that you created this.

everything you touch, you improve. from our other friends, to the hatchetfield community, to me, my life, and my writing. nothing i’ve ever seen you do has been less than wonderful, and most things have exceeded even that. 

you’re kind, creative, hilarious and gorgeous. somehow you’ve wormed your way into my heart, and my daily routine in just a few months, and if i have any say, you’ll stay there. from the way you connect to other people, to hearing you sing and read while we’re on call, every moment from you is worth keeping in a locket.

and yes, i mean every single moment. the more time i get with you, the more i believe that there may be a god, and he’s gifted me with the most incredible person in the world.

you’re everything to me. i hope, somehow, i make you even a fraction of how happy you make.

i can’t wait to marry you someday. to see you dancing with your friends, singing at the top of your lungs, dressed in what i’m sure will be the prettiest dress in the world, just for the fact it’ll be yours.

i’ll see you in seattle, with our book on the shelf in our living room.

happy 16th birthday. i hope you enjoy your present. you’re the best friend, and best qpp i could ever have dreamed of, and ever have asked for. here is fic 21 and 22, 

surprise! and finale.

yours, 

          raspy <2

im. im literally gonna cry

listen. im not the best with words. not when im not talking about kai. but. i really do love you. i think youre the best thing thats ever happened to me. youve made me better. thank you for everything you do. i love you more than anything.

i cant wait to see you. youll be the most gorgeous woman ive ever seen. not that you arent already are. i just feel itll be better in person.

i love you, raspberrysmoon. thank you for loving me.

[weirdcat1213]

volume 12 already? damn that went fast. just yesterday we were crying about vash drinking in a church

anyway :D volume 12 thoughts time

chap 1:

-chronicaaaaaaaaa :3

-AW NO MY BABY

-these quiet panels are the fucking best/worst thing that have ever happened to me

-too many memories :c

-YES LINA IS THERE THANK GOD (at the same time this is heartbreaking as fuck)

-all the enemies after all the people he has ever loved/helped

-HIS MOM AND HIS BF

-THATS IT THATS THE ONE THATS THE PANEL OH GOD WE ARE *HERE*

-im gonna go cry now

-i wonder what "anti plant" entails...is it a special material?

-ok fine, chronica can call knives a terrorist. she gets a pass

-oh sweet geesus

-eh?

-oohhhhhh.....ok fuck

-nothing can stop the hatred of this man. kinda admirable but as the song says "your misery and hate will kill us all"

chap 2:

-"corrosive thunder", love the title

-OH SHIT DOMINA NO, pls dont let him get to you

-DOMINA NOOOOOO

-the plants kinda look in pain there....

-MY GIRLSSSSSSSSSS

-for pain purposes, i choose to believe that when they resonate they hum like vash did in stampede

-aaand shes gone

-oh god, the end of evangelion flashbacks

-OH NIGHTOW YOU SON OF A BISCUIT- THOSE EYES IN THE BACKGROUND-

-tbh everything in your ship just being consumed by someone else so quickly must be scary af. nothing belongs to them anymore and soon, chronica could even loose herself

chap 3:

-oh shit oh fuck oh shit

-oh shit not thors hammer

-omg look! the laws of physics!

-noooo :c we dont get to know domina too much but its still sad

-OH?

-MAGIC BULLETS TIME BABYYYYYYYYYYY

-ohhhhhhh okok i get it

chap 4:

-THATS MY BOIIIIIIIIIII

-AH SHIT IVE JUST NOTICED THE HAIR

-ALSO PLS DONT SMILE LIKE THAT-

-childish is a good word for it cuz knives just doesnt want to accept hes wrong and scared

-THE POWER OF LOVE AND PEACE BITCH

-is vash pausing cuz even though his plan was to kill knives hes kinda sad that knives wants to kill him? i may never know

-let him use his fucking gun ok? hes an expert. also i like to think he uses it to stay grounded. like to stay with the people hes fighting with. hes not superior or anything

-TO YOUR KNEES BITCH TO YOUR FUCKING KNEES

-THATS MY FUCKING GUNMAN THATS MY SON RIGHT THERE

chap 5:

-FLASHBACK TIME LETS GO

-omg right it hated this. hes just a baby :c

-so vash left with a stranger? i forgot about that

-honey just be glad YOU ARE ALIVE

-BECAUSE HES VASH THE STAMPEDE- i should rewatch that episode huh

-GEESUS BRO

-tbh vash, you should have. then and now

-YEAH TELL HIM VASH >:D YOU ARENT NAIVE

-tbh i would also think thats enough to break the chain. hmm

-"stay with me" vash pls i cant jump into the void rn

-GEESUS CHRIST, the cleanest cut in the west

-also you think vash made that face cuz the last time he made someone bleed was rem-

-THE CLOSEUP TO THE MOUTHS AHHHHHHHHHHH

-"we dont belong in the future of this planet" dont fucking say that

chap 6:

-actually wanting to humans to talk with plants is a great step for improving their relationship but sure knives, whatever

-THATS SO TRUE VASH LETS GO, LET THE PLANTS HAVE A SAY IN IT

-ive said this before but as someone who was mocked by wanting context before judging people, vash is so...reassuring. like it wasnt wrong of me to want to know all the sides of one story. im glad

-also i completely forgot about that town and radiation. how tf radiation happens in that planet, what am i missing

-oh nvm, thanks nightow

-HES NOT EXCUSING, HES EXPLAINING OMFG YOU IDIOT

-YEAH FUCKING TELL HIM >:D POP OFF VASH >:D

-WHY IS IT THEN? HUH KNIVES?- oh shit what

-yknow what, ill give knives the fact that humans are ignorant and we are repeating history etc etc, but im done. finish him vash

-for some reason this reminds me to that scene with the soldiers in ep 12. my man really cant catch a break

-YEAH THE GIRLSSSSSSSSSSSS :D

-"you've been abandoned" maybe by some but not by everyone. and thats the whole point

-YEAH YOU ARENT BABY ILY

-HOLD UP IS THAT HER FACE?????

-awww :c

chap 7:

-IS IT LIVIO TIME????

-YO WTF, WHO SHOT MY GIRL

-ofc the military would be like this

-i literally cant say whos bleeding

-ah fuck ok

-ugh no...pls dont tell me hes fucking bleeding through his eyes...pls dont (if i see stampede vash bleeding like that i will eat my pc piece by piece)

-chronica :c

-LIVIOOOOOOOOO :0

-OMG YES, YES, IM SO HAPPY. quoting 98 "and i know in my heart he would have done the same"

-MR. VASH, MR. LIVIO AWWW :3

-OH HES SPINNING THOSE FUCKERS :D

-oh well thats not fair, hes too cool

-wait why is knives not wanting to kill vash bad?

chap 8:

-considering the blockers chronica has, entering a fused entity must be scary but also exciting

-ngl i dont get the spikes on the screen thing

-geesus

-WTF YOU DID TO HIM???

-wait no i want to see whats happening with vash- and its livio time

-oh hes alive thank god (this is my 2nd read why am i surprised)

-OH NO ITS THAT MOMENT OH NNONONONO STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME

-i hate seeing his eyes like that if im being honest, its scary

-ESO MAMONAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA GET UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP

-LIVIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

-OH SHIT its my wife

-OH WAIT MY OTHER WIFE IS HERE TOO

-VASH WHY ARE YOU MAKING THAT FACE

-OH GOD NOT LEGATO AND THE RUSSIAN DOLL

-CAN SHIT STOP HAPPENING FOR A MINUTE

-THERES TOO MANY PEOPLE HERE CAN YALL CALM THE FUCK DOWN

chap 9:

-omg its the legato episode

-what is happening, what am i looking at

-oh oh shit

-RIGHT IN HIS MF EYE

-what is happening?

-ok flashback time

-yeap. its that time. shit

-geesus fucking christ. tbh ofc legato would think knives is right. there was nothing to prove him wrong

-yeap. i would do the same actually. stomp on his head

-oh honey...honey thats gay-

-is that why he has short hair...cuz knives gave him a name AND A HAIR STYLE??

-damn son

-also i may be wrong but where do people get the idea he inserted metal in his own brain to have those powers?/gen

[late-tothe-party-07]

Nerding out about Rise Movie

(Yes I am aware Im late. That's my whole brand. Shut.)

Anyway. This is specifically about the last bits cause of course it is.

*ahem *

Cant find a GIF but yknow that bit, when Leo tells Casey to basically pull the plug, to let him die, and the kid grabs the key to do so. But he doesnt do it right away and you can see the struggle so clearly its amazing.

Theres Casey knowing he will be the cause of losing Leo again, in such a short time. He doesnt want to. This is his father figure/uncle. This is one of the only comforts he knew and he has to be the one to kill it. And then there's resolve that its the right thing to do.

Its almost like Casey was trying to impersonate Future Leo, a person he looked up to, who made hard choices for the good of everyone.

But then the bravery is gone, crumbling at his feet and Casey doesnt want to make the hard choice. This is still a kid. This is still someone who a few hours earlier had watched his world die. Every last bit of it.

He doesn't even look when he finally does it. And he doesn't stay put and pull, he runs away.

-

The moment the portal shuts Leo stops fighting.

The moment his brothers are safe he just stops.

There is no brave front, no stoic decree that he will make the Kraang's life hell or take revenge somehow more than he has. He's done.

However almost everyone I see writing this bit in fanfics always makes it sound like he didn't care about dying and that isn't true. He wants to live. He's crying, wanting his family to hold him and be in the good times again so he holds onto the picture. But he's genuinely too tired to do much and he knows there's nothing he can do anyway. Doesn't mean he doesn't still want there to be.

Who says sacrifices arent scared of dying?

-

The fact the boys gave it everything they got and all the Kraang had to do was flick a finger. That is terrifying and such an awesome way to display the villain's power. They have no hope of defeating it, and its not hard to see how the Kraang took over the world in a different timeline. To have the turtles do all that and it to be brushed away as a little less than an inconvenience. Horrifying. Good job.

-

Call it talking about something obvious, but I love the scenes we see that we thought was the end, with Leo gone forever. Cause at that point the world was saved, people were probably celebrating if they could see it happening, but to our heroes there was no victory. To them the end is as devastating as if they had lost. The background behind Casey as he clutches Leo's sword is the same red he grew up with, where death and loss and fear was as common as air.

Donnie is crying, and he shakes his head as he realizes cause no, this cant be reality. This wasn't in his plans. He denies the tears because that means its hurting. And if it's hurting that means that it happened.

Raph is on the ground cause he is the big brother, meant to protect them, and he failed. The grief is piled on by guilt and anger and sorrow and the need to do something but he can't and its too heavy. Even he can't carry all of it.

-

Fun little tidbit to finish but I love how when Mikey opens a portal to get Leo back, Raph and Donnie also take some of the backlash to that power. Its also a little funny that its the two turtles who were dead when he opened the time gateway, especially since Ninpo is stronger when they are united as a family and he opened that portal alone.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk

[beamzar]

26th November 2023

Open entry: 20:52

I didnt write yesterday, so let me fill you in on that quickly. We woke up and went to the next town over in hopes to do some pottery painting. Sadly it has been overbooked, so that plan is being moved to after Christmas. We did stroll around the market and have tons of fun, sat down at a waterstones and chatted before we both went to mine. It was nice. She was very pretty that day. It is usual for her to be but that day especially. She put a bow in her hair. She was very gorgeous, very smily, very chatty. I havent really had such an effect on anyone ever like this. I might have but not one i can remember so clearly. It was a lovely day.

Today contrasts it significantly. I have been rotting in my room. Blinds down, door closed, clothes on my chair, with only the blinding light of my PC illuminating whats there. Left alone with only my thoughts and my sickened state. My eyes arent getting better. If anything they burn more, they sting being open. My health is deteriorating, i cant keep them open. I tried to work on my Psychology assignments but to no avail. I completed 3 out of 9 pages. Those will spring up to be 11 tomorrow.

Im a mess, i feel disgusting. My emotions are too much to bear. So much to bear and only a few cracks are spilling them out. Im loosing sight of myself as a person honestly, ive been focusing so much on the outside, on everyone else, to try slow time down, to try make things feel more real. To no avail, its not working well, and now i dont know who i am anymore. And when i do try to look for myself i dont see what i am. My dysphoria is back, more and more i feel disgusted with my physical self, aswell as how i speak. I hate feeling feminine. I thought i could make myself like it, i did. At the start of college i tried being more feminine, i tried embracing it, i tried reassuring myself that simple androgyny is fine and what i am, simply to discard the matter that i will never be a guy. People will never see me as a guy, not even the ones im close with. No offence but i see it to be true, i do not mind, its simple reality.

I give myself the hope that soon, hormonal treatment will fix that. But in reality, i cant even have that. Im weighed down between the bond i have with my family. They would never accept me, they can never fathom the sight of me knowing that i am what i am. That scares me. I dont want them to hate me, but im afraid of what i will do if i keep hating myself like this.

I didnt do much today. I ate, played, chatted.

I spoke to my friend of 15yrs. She had nice stories to tell, i love talking to her. Theres a reason why weve been friends for so long.

Ill be resorting to old habits and going into school early to do work right before class. I might rethink this decision, might not. Might regret it, might not. Im thinking of going home early tomorrow to finish what i started from my psychology work. Ill have to have something to show my teacher on tuesday. She wont ask but ill feel guilty if i dont. I want to stay in her class.

Thats it, goodnight.

Close entry: 21:14

[caseythebunnyboy]

Howdy!

Thank you so much for the drawing! It's amazing. I love your art. I apologize for bringing down the mood I know it bothers you not but last thing I want to do is make you sad! From now on I will only grace you with pure nasty truly deplorable thoughts from a lonely cowboy and my day to day life (aka more deplorable thoughts)! I'll fill you in (full pun intended) as my work will keep me busy soon. I'll describe myself more so you can have a general picture of me :] I'm 6'2 I have no clue on my weight but I am a large man. My thighs and calves are like tree trunks. My hands are incredibly calloused from working for 6 years nonstop. I am very skilled with my hands and fingers tying knots all day and playing the banjo (you can take a man out the south but you can't take the south out of the man) and I have no better way to describe it other than my hands are huge. I have short-ish curly hair and I have a tan almost all of the time when it's not winter. If you want to know anything more about me I am more than happy to oblige your request.

I must admit that while it may sound a bit creepy. I lay awake at night I have thoughts of you. I make up scenarios in my head. I look at your kink list and see how similar we are and can't help but imagine using you in thousands of different ways. Tying you up. bending you over and pounding your little boycunt over and over again until your brain is mush and you're full of cum. Then I untie you and hold you in my arms. Singing to you softly as we drift off.

I'll leave the fantasy there but I hope to hear from you soon. 🤠

thank you so much! but wuh 🥹 please dont feel restricted to only being horny on here! im fine with people talking to me about other emotions, since i know people arent just horny 24/7. its fine!! i wont hate you forever if you show any other sign of feeling that isnt being sexual, i promise.

(rest of the response is under the cut because again, dont wanna clog peoples dashboards 😵‍💫)

i shall also paint you a picture of me in exchange!

im 5'4, last time i checked i was 81 (?) kg, i dont remember the specifics but i was around that weight. my thighs are also big but in more of a marshmallow pillow-ey way than a tree trunk way! my hands are very small, clumsy, soft and frail, with my entire hand from palm to my longest finger (the middle finger) being around 7 inches 😊 the only "toughening up" they got is when i would practice my countrys martial arts, i still practice every once in awhile but very occasionally so they never made my hands calloused 🥹 iam... not skilled at all with my hands. my arm starts shaking and hurting if i draw for too long with no breaks 😵‍💫 i have black fluffy-scruffy hair that can never calm down or stay in one place, and my skin is just naturally always tan since im a person of color 🐇

if youd like to know more about me, id also be happy to oblige! what i want to know about you, is if youve ever cum to the thought of me, hehe 💜 just curious! you dont need to answer if youre not comfy doing so 💜💜 and also! can you claim an emoji and put it at the end of your asks? so i know its you and so you can have a little hashtag, like how 🗝️ anon has one!

anyways! i hope to hear from you soon as well! youre so sweet, cowboy anon 🥹 id love to kiss you all over your face, but thatll just have to wait 🥲 see you soon! (hopefully 💜)

honestly, it doesnt sound creepy at all to me... would it be creepy for me to say im flattered and slightly aroused that you think about me so often? if so, then i guess we're both "creepy", hm? 💜 and jeez, id actually really like that. i love people who can be rough and fast during sex, but the moment its all over theyre back to being sweet and caring 😊 would love to doze off on top of your chest, humming along to your song after you finish breeding my boypussy over and over 💜💜

also side note, ever since i read your ask i cant stop thinking about how nice it would feel for your rougher hands to rub and touch my softer skin... the contrast between their textures would made my head so much dizzier whenever you grab my parts 😵‍💫😵‍💫 make of that what you will...

[gwaaaaar]

I posted 5,713 times in 2022

102 posts created (2%)

5,611 posts reblogged (98%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@choco-myth

@beth-bethar00

@boronal

@willowfoxthefox

sean-gaffney

I tagged 441 of my posts in 2022

#mazm - 31 posts

#vatican miracle examiner - 20 posts

#vatican kiseki chousakan - 16 posts

#mazm thy creature - 12 posts

#identity v - 11 posts

#mazm hyde and seek - 9 posts

#mazm phantom of the opera - 7 posts

#baccano! - 7 posts

#baccano - 7 posts

#ganji gupta - 6 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#reminds me of that one meme you made where its like this edible aint shit and its a pic of light music club cater saying i always wanted to

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Ok hear me out, Ganji and Mike accidentally crash into each other during a match or something and they drop their Red balls. They scramble to pick what they assume are their own items but we cut to Mike trying to flip over a rail and the ball bounces back and hits him square in the face, he's out like a light. Now zooming over to ganji he's taking aim then BOOM! his bats on fire, Ganji is now chasing the hunter with a flaming glorified stick,ganji is now banned from Duos

Holy shit yes oh my god 😭😭😭😭. Clusmy anime girls with toast in their mouth except, threats to the hunter that dropped their balls.

30 notes - Posted February 15, 2022

#4

Raoul de Chagny (Mazm one maybe idk) is such a sigma male but also an L bozo. Mans literally cannot get manipulated by erik bc hes too stupid but at the same time he goes into eriks box to assert dominance only to pass out like an idiot. And the scene in the forest where he HAD A CELAR SHOT AT ERIK AND MISSED. L bozo.

32 notes - Posted April 24, 2022

#3

Having finished Hyde and Seek like 3 days after release here are some of my thoughts. There's gonna be some stuff implied so read with caution, i wont say outright but ill talk abt the implications. Sorry most of this is Alan rambling I have brainworms and I'm ill.

-Alan is literally my malewife. Love at first sight, if Noah is my little meanwhore Alan is my malewife. I love their big boobs.

-Pollie>Sally. My heart dropped when Alan tried to ask Sally out like out of all people, Sally? Good news though hes single by the end.

-Pollie is literally that one tumblr post where its like let women be pathetic little meow meows too. She is the definition of a pathetic meow meow and i love her for that.

See the full post

45 notes - Posted March 13, 2022

#2

LOLIROCK IS OUT FOR MY BLOOD WHY DID THEY GIVE HIM M SHAPED LIPS WHY WOULD THEY DO THIS THEY DID THIS ON PURPOSE HWGWJAGEJAHEHNSGEJSJSGZ

93 notes - Posted May 22, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Alright so ive been seeing this going around, the lack of paint on Sam in ENG . I dont want to start shit though, im saying this as a disclaimer. And i want to say this as controversial as it may be: it was for the best probably.

Voodoo has a history of being portrayed as dark magic which is horrible. Voodoo is a religion not satanic not dark magic. It is as much of a religon as Islam, Christianity, Hinduism, Judaism, etc. Respect it. I like the bone paint too, it looked cool, but clearly its more cultural appropriation rather than appreciation on Sam (voodoo practicers if you can please tell me if ive said something wrong).

"Cancel culture" isnt just an "sjw" thing, its used to talk about problems. Saying "twst shouldve just stayed in jp" bc of the problematic aspect isnt good. We have to address problematic issues with culture and racism. Twst has racist aspects you cannot deny that. It doesnt mean you cant enjoy twst at all, but stay openminded and listen to minorities when they speak. Cultures arent "aesthetics" :/

284 notes - Posted January 20, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

welp, isnt that a doozy

[bpdbunnyy4ngel]

my middle sister is moving in the beginning of november. this is a very weird situation since me, my mom and my sisters have all lived here for every moment of our lives. none of us want to live in this place. and it is t healthy to live inside the walls that traumatized and fucked you up. we were never able to heal here. but to me, esp having avpd, i end up in some sort of stockholm syndrome state. i dont want to leave here, even if it is all i dream of. i dont want my mom or sisters to leave, i want to always live with them. and we all think that if we lived somewhere else, and had moved from this bad place years ago, we wouldnt have these issues. not to this extent. but everything here has gotten toxic, unhealthy, dysfunctional and infested. it only keeps degrading year by year. but still. i am so scared. scared of change. especially when i feel im getting left behind, because i am the biggest failure out of all of us. my mom is taking university classes, and she is stressed but she still manages. my sister who is moving is doing so bc she has started university. my youngest sister has been working since she finished high school, and now has a high paying job (even if she does work so fucking hard and gets absolutely used by her shitty awful boss who talks bad about her to her face, she got this particular job bc like one of the higher ceos is one of her old schoolmate's mom. and bc my sister contacted her she talked to her mom and then my sister got this job). they do have it hard - as they tell me. im not the only one struggling. but my avpd is a disability. like i cannot function properly. and then i beg for help from the health care, but they tell me im too high functioning. i wanna cry. idk what to do. what if i end up homeless? what if i just cant do it? and im starting to lose sight of what "it" is? i dont get it i dont get it at all wtf?

anyway so yeah... my mom is so sick of this place that they've decided that she will stay here sometimes, and then stay at my sister's place sometimes. so it will be a huge change. she wont be here as much. and i have to be alone..... bc me and my youngest sister arent talking. and i am too deep inside an anxious state that i cannot deal with it or try to fix it i just cant. but also i have to like talk to my social worker and see if i can get more rent money bc my sister isnt living here anymore. only that is too much for me. i just cannot be a person i cannot. i cannot. i wanna die. like everyone only thinks im pathetic and stupid but why am i like this? i never asked to be like this. i WANT to live, i WANT a life, but i cant. i dont know how. i hate it i wanna cry because i dont wanna die but it seems like the easiest thing to do.

[uygfiug]

Awww Im happy you liked the term of endearment <33

Anna my darling

Im okay!! Some incredible University related things are happening atm, which is exciting (potentially going to have a studio flat to myself basically for free which will mean uni is completely stress free money-wise, which is truly incredible and will make uni life survivable), and I have finished a maths AS Level (idk how to put this into generic terms but its between a level and gcse - A level being the qualification you get before uni)

So yeah, Im good!!

CAN I TELL YOU THIS THING I LEARNED ABOUT EGGS?!??

(Telling you anyway XD)

Sooooo I always wondered how eggs get fertalised, cause how does the sperm penetrate the shell, and I went to an online lecture that explained exactly that!!!

Sooo the sperm from the male chickens inseminates the yolk of the egg before the shell is made. Unlike in humans, where if multiple sperm meet the egg the egg will not progress to the next stage, multiple sperm are actually nescassary for the survival of the egg!! Only one sperm cell provides its genetic information, but others that enter are theorised to be important in stimulating the next stages of development. Other sperm that don't enter the yolk then form the outer lining of the wall of the yolk (literally the thing you pierce when you let the yolk run in a fried egg). As the egg then travels further down the hen, the albumen (the egg white) forms around the yolk, and the shell forms around that!! ITS SO INTERESTING!!!!!!!!!

Also snake eggs are soft and chicken eggs are hard because chicken eggs need to be harder to protect the embryo as it forms. also the lining of the shell regulates gas exchange and water intake in chicken eggs, which allows them to survive in both humid and dry environments! Whereas snakes tend to live in regions withh more constant climates, and so dont need this mechanism to cope with chnaging climates. Also chickens have been selectively bred to produce eggs even when they arent fertalised - they wouldnt do this naturally because it is an extreme waste of energy.

EGGS!!!!!!!!!

How are you? XDD

<3333333

!!!!! thats all so exciting!!!!!! a flat!!! sounds like a dream :)

yayy!!! egggssss (had an omelet for dinner so that fits very well)

ooooh thats all so interesting! i've been reading about insect reproduction lately, but i havent looked much into how eggs are formed, so i have to fix that soon :) (not rn though bc i am extremely tired)

i'm not doing great, exams start officially in 3 weeks and if i want to pass this year i need to do really well & im not looking forward to summer break simply because the small amount of friends i have will all be travelling while i stay behind :(

because of all this stress, my brain is also breaking a little bit & i cant remember anything anymore and also we have a maths teacher again :( which is not fun bc im too good at math & they always go way too slow for me, which means im stuck counting how many squares are on my graph paper or something to not go insane with boredom

BUT good news!!! just found out yesterday that i can go walk around the nearby swamp!!!! (i thought people werent allowed to go in)

and im hopefully almost done with school? just one more year after this :)

those are all the good thinsg i can think of rn, apologies, i am tired as previously mentined and at this poitn im typing with very blurry eyes which is NOT smart

anwaysss good night eli :)