#'how much did you spend there' don't. don't worry about that.
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spacegyaru · 3 days ago
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DON'T LOOK AT IT! PT. 3
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your phone got lost for some reasons. the following day, the sex tape you made with your boyfriend (rin, isagi, chigiri) was all around the internet. how would they react?
cw: r18+, mdni! mentions of sex tape and implied sex. humiliation. mirror sex on chigiri’s part + angst. somewhat angst and comfort. a little bit toxic from rin’s part!
a/n: this is the last part!! unfortunately, i don’t have that much energy to continue this series further and might start writing for another idea 😭🥺i hope u guys understand!!
masterlist | part 1 (shidou, kaiser, bachira, & sae) | part 2 (reo, nagi, hiyori, otoya, and yukimiya)
rin itoshi:
sorry to tell you guys, but his gf has to be a little bratty and naughty enough to provoke him into making a sex tape. i imagine him doing it out of jealousy, he wanna make you moan his name loud while he takes you all-fours and biting your neck a little bit. all after seeing how isagi was being a little bit too friendly towards you.
and that's exactly what people saw on the video. you remember your phone being pickpocketed while you were out for a shopping. when it got lost, rin scolded you a little bit, and reminding you of the video you guys made. you were the one who insisted that he shouldn’t think too much cuz ya boi was overthinking. but his hunches and gut feeling prevailed. the next few days, your name was all over the news.
rin’s team worked on the damage control. he was hesitant to post a public apology, but he did anyways. unlike his brother who has a ‘idgaf’ attitude, rin cares a lot; he cares a lot about his image and your image too. it’s just plainly embarrassing for him.
when you started isolating yourself due to the humiliation you were going thru, rin tried to comfort you.he was never good with words and may have appeared harsh the way he said it, but you knew what he truly meant. you gave him a hug and a kiss due to his attempt to comfort you.
“babe, i know how much you hated it whenever i say ‘i told you so’ so i’ll try not to make you feel worse. but try not to worry about what other people say. don’t check your phone too much. it doesn't matter what they think. what matters most is what we think of each other .”
yoichi isagi:
fuck, even i am wondering. how did this guy have a sex tape? well, it was your idea, but you didn’t think that your bf, isagi, would be super into it. both of you ended up making two-three sex tapes together. at first, it was embarrassing for him. but then once he’s inside you, he gets all pussy drunk and hell breaks. all that can be heard in the background was the loud bed creaks, along with your moans and his groans. your legs are all over the place, while he held your thighs. the lights were a bit dim, but both of your faces were visible.
the following week, you lost your phone while you were sightseeing all alone. you didn’t think that much of it. but the following day, that very same video you created with isagi, was all over the internet. both of your names were mentioned in twitter and apparently, he was placed in trending.
although isagi was very much embarrassed by what happened, he never blamed you for it. he asked his team to focus on the damage control while he released a public apology, addressing what happened. he explained that you lost your phone while on a trip, and are now taking the proper measures to track whoever did spread the video. isagi couldn’t stop apologizing. everyone knew how harsh he speaks whenever he’s at football matches but this time, he seemed like a dorky apologetic machine.
when isagi realized how humiliated you seemed to be, he immediately prepared a romantic dinner for the both of you, buying some wine and steak for the both of you to enjoy. he also bought a bouquet of flowers for you. then he rented a private ship for the both of you, so you could spend time together and get things off your head for a while.
“love, you don’t have to blamed yourself for what happened, you know? sometimes, there are just things that are out of our control and this happens to be one of them. let’s get this off your mind for now, okay?”
hyoma chigiri:
okay so if you wanna do anything new with this guy, you should initiate it because he’s very much of a vanilla. that’s how you ended up having a sex tape with him. the crazy thing is, he was the one holding the camera. you were riding him in a cowgirl position, your ass was bouncing as you went up and down on him. your room was surrounded by mirrors, so chigiri was recording your reflection. his hands were shaking as he was feeling too much pleasure from your pussy. so far, he was able to record almost everything, but he ended up dropping the phone when he orgasmed.
one day, you lost your phone after a long day at work, but then again, you didn’t think anything of it. you just thought of buying a new one instead. but then few days later, you suddenly see your boyfriend’s name on twitter’s trending. when you clicked the link, that exact mirror sex videos were all over the internet. you just sighed upon seeing those. you never expected them to reach online but here they are.
given the situation, you didn’t even have that much space to comfort yourself because you just saw how down and embarrassed your boyfriend looked. he was able to release a public statement, and his pr team did the damage control. but he was so affected by people’s comments about his masculinity. well, the question about this didn’t really matter to him, but what affected him the most is how people would say how ‘hot’ you are and that you deserve someone more dominating and masculine. he was more affected on what people say about you, rather than what people say about him.
so your night with him ended up being a comfort-fest. both of you lay on the bed with hands holding together while you reassure him that what other people said isn’t true. that you only need him to satisfy you and no one else. you thought your night would be sweet and peaceful. until your small cuddle moment turned into a heated making-out session with chigiri hovering on top of you.
“babe, i love how hot you are whenever you're on top of me. i love how your body bounces and tell me how you make me feel good. but what about let me do the work tonight? i'll let you feel every part of me while i dominate you.”
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lorbanery · 2 days ago
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Oh! We were just catching up on "Um, Actually" last night on Dropout and they did a second episode of all kids media trivia, and one of the contestants reminded me of the episode that is one of the most obviously written For The Parents, "Baby Race".
The episode is Chilli telling the story of how Bluey learned to walk, so we flash back to baby Bluey rolling over earlier than the literature says to expect it (this is an actual milestone for babies, have the muscle strength, coordination, and spacial reasoning to be able to roll over onto their back or stomach on their own). Chilli gets very cocky about Bluey rolling over so early, especially with everyone around her being all "Oh my goodness I've NEVER heard of a baby rolling over THAT early!".
Cut to her mother's group and in the middle of getting more praise about Bluey rolling over really early, Judo's mother, Wendy, exclaims excitedly that baby Judo is sitting! Again, another real life milestone, being able to sit up on their own without falling over.
Chilli gets kinda jealous and spends some time trying to get Bluey to sit up too, and as soon as Bluey can, they get to the mothers group only discover that Judo is crawling.
Chilli gets kinda jealous and spends some time trying to get Bluey to crawl. It doesn't work, Bluey finds other ways to get around. Chilli worries that there might be something wrong with Bluey so takes her to the doctor, who reassures her that Bluey's fine.
But Chilli's gotten how quickly Bluey's hitting these milestones all tangled up in her head with how good of a parent she is. So every time Judo hits a new milestone and Bluey doesn't, or every time Bluey sort of hits a milestone sideways (she eventually crawls, but only crawls backwards, which is also real! Our kid pretty much only crawled backwards until they were able to walk), she gets worried she's doing something wrong and checks in with her doctor again.
Eventually Judo takes her first steps before Bluey has even started crawling forwards, and Chilli takes it so hard that she stops going to the mothers group. She started off thinking she was doing so well as a parent, only to see someone else she perceived as doing better than her, and every shred of confidence she had just crumbled. She must have been doing something wrong, because her kid seemingly stalled out on hitting those milestones, or at least slowed down, and of course development is perfectly linear and those age guidelines are set in stone and not a general rough guide about the oldest age to expect the milestone to happen, right?
So one of the other mothers, Bella, notices that Chilli isn't at the mothers group and, concerned, comes over to check in on Chilli. Chilli admits to her that it just feels like she's been doing everything wrong. Bella shows Chilli a photo of her family, which surprises Chilli. Most of the mothers in the group are new parents like Chilli, because of course those are the parents who are most likely to need the support of a group like that, and it's good for kids who don't have siblings at home to socialize with. It turns out, though, that Bella has nine kids, including Coco, the baby she brings to the group.
Bella sets a hand on Chilli's shoulder and tells her seriously, "I've got something to tell you." Chilli asks "What?" already feeling really self-loathing about her own parenting skills and wary about what this person who has so much more experience parenting is going to tell her. But Bella just smiles and tells her, "You're doing great." And Chilli breaks down in tears and they hug.
And if that wasn't enough to make you tear up as a parent, the episode actually ends with Bingo asking if Bluey ever learned how to walk (because she's four and it's hard at that age to connect A to C). And as Chilli answers, "Yes! In the kitchen, actually," we flash back one more time to the moment Bluey took her first steps, crawling backwards into the kitchen and seeing Chilli working at the counter. "The kitchen?! Why in the kitchen?!" Bluey exclaims as baby Bluey starts pulling herself up on a cabinet. "I don't know!" Chilli laughs. As baby Bluey starts taking her first shaky steps, the camera switches to Bluey's POV, looking up at her mom, and we hear Bingo suggest, "Maybe you saw something that you wanted." Then Chilli turns and we see her shocked smile as she sees Bluey walking towards her.
There is so much genuine sincerity packed into that show. And that is why parents love it so much.
In Australia we have this cartoon for toddlers called Bluey. It's very good, models positive family relationships well and teaches good practical and emotional lessons to very young kids. But what I have recently learned on youtube is that Americans are OBSESSED with it. Why. This might be the most interested the US has been in Aussie tv since Neighbours.
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inkedinshadows · 2 days ago
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For the requests: "I would certainly take all night" with Eris, please. I would be forever indebted to you. Can be smut or not, write it however you want! :)
Held in Firelight
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Pairing: Eris x f!reader
A/N: Hi! No need to be indebted, don't worry! I just hope you'll like this bc I really liked this idea but I wrote it after six hours of class so it might not be my best work. I also don't know how to label it because it's a bit fluffy with a tiny sprinkle of angst and allusions to smutty bits? Idk idk I really like it tho
Warnings: arranged marriage, cheating (but the parties involved are aware so idk)
Word count: 1k
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“I think he has a new lover.”
Your words cut through the comfortable silence that had settled over the sitting room. Eris raised a brow, but you continued to stir the wine in your glass, your eyes fixed on the swirling red liquid.
The silence stretched, broken only by the crackling embers in the fireplace. Eventually, he asked, “What makes you think that?”
You shrugged one shoulder. “He spent every night out this week. He doesn't do that if he's just sleeping around. He still comes home.”
Eris hummed, as if contemplating your answer.
These were your favorite moments—when Eris didn’t have court duties to attend to and could spend hours talking and drinking with you. It was your favorite way to ease the stress and tension of the life you had been forced into.
“He was out even two nights ago?”
You looked up at him. The firelight flickered on the side of his face, turning his hair into molten copper. You felt a sudden urge to reach across the couch and run your fingers through it.
“Yeah,” you replied. “Why do you ask?”
“It was your birthday,” he stated simply.
“So?”
He looked startled. “You really don’t care that he forgot?”
You sighed, setting your glass down. “Eris, he hasn't remembered my birthday in years.”
He didn’t reply, but his jaw clenched. You couldn’t tell if the flames in his eyes were just a reflection of the fire or if it was that simmering power of his.
With another sigh, you pressed on. “Let’s say he remembers,” you said. “Then what? You really believe he would spend the whole night with me, taking his sweet time to make me feel cherished, at least on my birthday?” You shook your head, the mere thought making you scoff. “No, I prefer it this way. He doesn't care about me, I don't care about him, and there's no point in pretending we do.”
Eris remained silent, his gaze fixed on the fireplace, his fingers clutching the stem of his glass so tightly you thought it might break. You knew he cared about you, that he hated your situation as much as you did, but even he couldn’t change it. Maybe once he became High Lord he’d banish arranged marriages and spare others from this fate, but it was too late for you.
Picking up your glass again, you tucked your legs beneath you and settled back against the pillows. You took a sip of wine, hoping that its rich taste might offer an excuse to change the topic, but you came up empty. You’d already commented on the flavor when he opened the bottle.
“I would certainly take all night.”
His voice was quiet, almost thoughtful, but when you turned to look at him, he was still facing away from you.
“What?” you blurted out. Surely, you had heard that wrong.
Finally, his eyes met yours, determined and unflinching. “I would take all night with you,” he repeated, “I would cherish you. And not just on your birthday.”
Your breath hitched. There had been a few lingering touches, a brush of fingers, words whispered after one too many glasses of wine. But never like this—so plain and blatant, so unguarded.
“Don't say that,” you murmured.
“Why not?” His eyes bore into you, pinning you in place. There was no escape—not that you wanted one. “We both want it.”
He was right. There was no arguing with that. Yet you still shook your head. “Eris, we can't.”
He moved closer. You didn’t resist when he took your glass and set it on the small table alongside his. An empty bottle stood next to an unopened one.
“Why not?” he asked again, his voice gentler now. “Just because you’re married? How many other females has he been with?”
Countless.
Maybe Eris was right about that too. Maybe you didn’t owe loyalty to a husband you had never wanted—a husband who had never been loyal to you. If he could have all the females he wanted, then maybe you could have the one male you wanted. The one person who always understood you, who never judged or mistreated you.
“When was the last time someone made you feel cherished?” Eris’s hand covered yours, his slender fingers intertwining with your own, squeezing once. “Made you feel good?”
You had never thought about your marriage in those terms. You had never wanted that union in the first place, so you had clung to the small things. Time away from your husband was good. You hadn’t shared a bed in a long time, and your conversations were awkward and stiff enough that the thought of intimacy hadn't crossed your mind in years. And you’d told yourself that was good enough.
But deep down, it had never really felt good.
Eris was still looking at you, his expression soft and understanding. As if he could see your every thought.
You looked away, unable to stomach it. “I don't know,” you finally whispered.
“Let me be that person.” He reached out, gently tilting your chin. “Let me make you feel good.”
Your eyes met again, and your resolve wavered. Then he brushed his thumb over your lips and spoke in a barely audible whisper.
“Let me love you.”
That word.
Love.
Your husband had never uttered it to you, nor had you to him. But hearing it from Eris… you knew he didn't mean just now—a stolen moment to carry in your heart. And that realization was the final push you needed.
You didn't know who moved first. One moment you were staring into each other's eyes. The next, your lips met.
He tasted like a wish come true after years of waiting.
You were done longing and yearning in secret, done pretending you didn't know what you truly wanted.
And as Eris loved you in front of the fireplace, you finally felt good. You felt cherished. And he took all night to make sure of it.
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1k taglist: @onebadassunicorn @thegoddessofnothingness
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hwaslayer · 2 days ago
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the space between us three (jyh) | six.
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⇢series masterlist | series playlist
⇢summary: while juggling the demands of life, yunho continues to do his best to raise his independent 11 yr old daughter, seora. throughout the years, they've built a strong foundation, an unbreakable bond— one that consists of late night talks and food runs, father/daughter dates, and sideline cheerleading at her basketball games. so when you unexpectedly come into their world, things shift. despite the uncertainty and the fear of stepping outside of their comfort zone, yunho and seora eventually learn how to open their hearts and learn how to rebuild a home where three can thrive together.
⇢pairing: single dad!yunho x f. reader
⇢genre: (18+ - minors dni) strangers to lovers, single dad au | fluff, angst, eventual smut
⇢word count: 6.6k
⇢chapter content/warnings: cussing, mature language, seora spends time with her uncle mingi, first date <33, yunho opens up about his parents to oc, holding hands, good conversations & just a bunch of cute simp shit, goodnight kisses 🥰, i swear things will get a lil spicier next chap lmao
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yunho: goodmorning. 😊
This morning had been one of those mornings. You had gotten up a little later than usual, feeling tired from the exhausting week. On top of that, you turned down Yunho's offer to bring you to work so that you wouldn't have to take the bus over; afraid you'd be asking for too much since he was gonna be driving around later tonight. Had you known the bus would be running late, you might've taken him up on it. But, with it being Friday, you were just excited to get your day over with so that you could hang out with Yunho one-on-one.
It was a blessing and a curse that it was busy as soon as you walked in this morning. A blessing because the day would breeze on by. A curse because you didn't even get a chance to respond to Yunho's cute lil text before jumping right into your task list. Until, your desktop computer decided to be stubborn and stop working properly— setting you behind even more than you already were due to the commute.
you: hi, goodmorning ☺️
you: i'm sorry for the late response! i'm having quite the morning. i have so much to do, but my desktop isn't working now. i feel so incomplet and useless. 😭
yunho: it's okay! not like i thought you forgot about me or anything .. 🥲
you: lol sorry, never!
yunho: wdym it's not working?
you: it won't stay on. keeps going on power save mode even though my settings are adjusted to never go on power save mode.
yunho: interesting. where do you sit in the peds hospital again?
you: 4th floor, M103.
yunho: i'll be over in a sec.
you: yunho?? you don't even support our unit 😭
yunho: and? lol. i have time. brb!
"What?" You mutter to yourself as you set your phone down, a little worried about Yunho getting in trouble or pushing off his work to help you. You shrug it off, scribbling in your planner and working through emails on your laptop until Yunho swings by.
Which, didn't take him long post-reply. He was at your cubicle about 15 minutes later.
"Hey." Yunho says softly.
"Hi." You shyly laugh. "How did you even get in here?"
"IT has access everywhere, believe it or not." He smiles before pointing at your desktop. "Mind if I take a look?"
"Go for it." He pulls up an empty office chair nearby and drags it over to your desk, sitting comfortably as he presses the power button. He presses it a few times and clicks away at your mouse until the screen pops up. 
"Hm." He hums. "Took awhile."
"It's gonna shut down on you."
"Is that what's been happening?"
"Mhm. Just now actually. When I get it back up and running, it'll let me work for a few minutes before it shuts off and goes into power mode randomly." He's click-clacking away on the keyboard, forehead tightly knit as he eventually rests his elbow on the desk— hand hovering over his mouth, with the other on the mouse.
"How old is your computer?"
"I don't know, maybe 8-10 years old? It was passed down from the previous project manager when I stepped into her role."
"Yikes." He laughs. "I'll try a few things, but might also be a good time to consider getting a new one." He starts pulling up the terminal and plugging in some code— language you definitely don't understand.
"Yeah, I know."
"You actively push data or other work to the cloud, right? So you have a backup and can pull it up anywhere?"
"Mhm."
"Good." He gives you a small smirk. "Then, getting a replacement wouldn't be so bad. You deserve it." You laugh.
"Hope the department thinks so."
"I mean, you do need a working computer to get your things done." He sits back in the chair and crosses his arms, slightly slumped in his position. "I just plugged in a code to mimic the movement of your mouse so the computer thinks something is always happening. If you look closely at the pointer, you can see it twitching a bit." You look up close on the screen and manage to see what he's talking about.
"Woah. Okay, genius."
"Not even." He laughs. "If you don't mind me being in your space for a little longer, I wanna see if this keeps your computer awake."
"As long as it isn't taking up unnecessary time and making you behind."
"Never." He smiles at you. "So."
"So." You mimic him. "Where are you taking me later?"
"For me to know and you to find out." You snort.
"Clever. Am I dressed enough for the occasion?" Yunho eyes your outfit, running a finger across his bottom lip while he smirks at you. 
"Yeah, you look good. You always do." You playfully push him on the bicep, making him laugh. "What? I can't be honest?"
"Hey— oh? Oops. Hi Yunho." Noeul gives you a look before slowly walking away. 
"Hey Noeul." 
"I'll come back later." She mouths out as Yunho gives off a small chuckle. Suddenly, he shifts his attention back to your computer when he notices the screen go black, and he's back to sitting up again. 
"Damn." He tries fiddling with the mouse and keyboard again. "Guess that didn't work. I think this is a hardware issue now, but .." He turns to you with the same smirk he was sporting earlier when he was spitting out those compliments. "Since your computer is pretty old, I can't say it won't act up again if you get this serviced."
"So, you're saying a new computer is definitely the way to go." He nods.
"You deserve it." He stands as he reminds you. "You should think about getting a 38" monitor instead of having two. It's basically the equivalent and helps with productivity."
"What are some good ones?"
"I can send you some recs in a bit. I'm sorry you'll have to work from your laptop for now. But, whatever you order, I can help make sure it gets to you ASAP and I'll help set it up."
"Yunho." You slightly pout as he's slowly walking out of your cubicle.
"No but's. I got you." He looks down at his watch. "Anyway, gotta head back."
"See, don't tell me you have tons of stuff to catch up on now because of me?"
"I doooon't." He almost whines with a small laugh. He totally does. He's actually kinda swamped, but he made it over anyway because seeing you is nice. "See you later?" You nod and giggle. "I'll text you when I'm all wrapped up on my end."
"Okay. Thank you again."
"No worries." He playfully sends you a wink before walking off and out of the office area. Noeul finally comes creeping up to your cubicle, squealing at a low tone.
"Stop, he's so into you."
"Don't start." You bite onto your bottom lip as you continue to keep your eyes glued onto the tiny laptop screen.
"Where is he taking you? Did he say anything?"
"Nope. I am completely in the dark."
"Those are the best kinda dates. He's gonna take good care of you."
"I just wanna get out of here." You whine as your place your head down on your desk for a few minutes.
"You will! And the wait will be worth it!" You look up at her and let out a small sigh, nodding your head.
"You're right. Let me tackle all of this so I can get outta here sooner than later."
"And hang out with your man, yes!" She leans against your desk. "By the way, what'd he say about your computer?"
"Oh, this thing is done with. I need a new one. I'm just waiting for Yunho to send me some recs."
"Been telling you that."
"Well, it kept me going for some time." You pat the top of the monitor screen. "It was nice while it lasted."
"I love this for you, you know that? Upgrading your computer, your love life. This era is cute." You chuckle and shake your head.
"Go. I gotta get back to work." You push her along, making her giggle at how obviously flustered you are over the topic.
yunho: some recs for the boss lady!
You see Yunho's Slack message come in, along with links from the IT catalog. 
yunho: this CPU should do you good, along with the 38". 😮‍💨
you: haha, thank you. 😊 i'll place my order right now!
yunho: can you send me your ticket number so i can keep an eye on it?
you: maybe....
yunho: ☹️☹️☹️☹️
you: you have too much other work to worry about!
yunho: including your ticket, yes!
you: you're unbelievable. 😂
yunho: you can always opt out for tonight (ouch) ..... 😖
you: never! lol. i'm excited actually. ☺️
yunho: i am, too. 
You smile to yourself during the brief pause in between messages, unsure how to respond to Yunho without sounding like you're doing too much or saying something crazy. But, the Slack notification goes off again—
yunho: okay, i actually gtg and help jihoon with something.
yunho: seriously send me your ticket number after you're done, pls!
Pause.
yunho: can't wait to spend time with you, y/n.
And all that overthinking goes straight out the window.
you: same. 😌
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Seora had a long day at school— her day filled with a bunch of tests and pop quizzes, damn near dragging herself out of the classroom and into the gym afterward. She happily talks with her friends as they change into their practice gear, joking around and being the typical girls they are as they get out onto the floor with their water bottles. After equal wins and losses, the coach decides to continue running and improving plays to push the team forward to the playoffs and hopefully, a championship win. 
When practice wraps up, Seora grabs her things and finds her other favorite uncle talking to some of the parents outside of the gym; sweat still on her face, hair pulled back in a messy ponytail. When his eyes finally land on hers, he gives Seora's hair a good ruffle before taking her bags from her.
"Ace!"
"Uncle Mangi!" She copies his tone and laughs.
"How was practice?"
"Tiring. I'm pooped. I can barely feel my legs today."
"Working hard, atta girl. On our way to the WNBA." He tosses her bags in the backseat before hopping in. "Hope you don't mind, I gotta stop at the grocery store really quickly for our dinner."
"Only if I can grab some snacks."
"Course you can. Don't spoil your appetite for dinner, though. I'm gonna make some galbijjim."
"Yum! One of my faves."
"Exactly." He laughs. "How was school today?"
"The usual. Nothing too special."
"Nothing too special? Nothing happened at all?"
"Nope. Too many tests and pop-quizzes. I did get an A on my math test, though."
"That's something." She nods as she looks out the window.
"So, my dad's got another team dinner?"
"Mhm." He hums.
"Impossible." 
"They've been working really hard on a lot of different things across the hospital lately. Helps relieve stress, I guess." One thing about Mingi is that he will never out Yunho the way Seonghwa unintentionally does. If Yunho's got a team dinner, Mingi will stick to the story down to the T. Maybe even throw in his own details and dramatics to make it more believable.
"He barely used to have team dinners."
"Well, maybe their goal was to have more!"
"Are you hiding something, Uncle Mangi? Cause Uncle Hwa accidentally spilled the beans last time and said dad was on a date."
"Why would your Uncle Hwa do that? Should I fight him?" Seora laughs and shakes her head. "He wasn't on a date."
"Uncle Mangi." He looks at her.
"Mhm?"
"Lying is bad."
"I'm not lying!" She continues to squint her eyes at him before finally giving up her case and settling back into the seat. 
"Fine. What about you then, Uncle Mangi? What's new? How was your trip to Japan?"
"Nothing much. But, it was good. Nice to be in different sceneries from time to time."
"Dad keeps saying we'll tag along one day, but we haven't yet. I wanna go soon."
"I'll let him know, don't worry."
"They must have soooo much cute stuff. Don't they?"
"Lots." Mingi pulls up to the grocery store, driving into a spot near the entrance. "You'd definitely love it there."
"Where else have you been, Uncle Mangi?" She follows alongside of her towering uncle while he grabs a cart and heads into the store.
"Everywhere and nowhere all at the same time." She laughs.
"Seriously."
"One place I'll always remember is Switzerland. It's beautiful there. Probably one of my top places I've been to."
"I'm sure. I've only seen it in books, but it looks really pretty."
"It is. Those textbook pics definitely don't do it enough justice." Mingi sorts through the meat packages while Seora quickly wanders off into an aisle to grab her favorite chips and cookies. She drops it into the cart, with Mingi barely noticing.
"I have a random question for you."
"Try me."
"Do you think it's better to lock yourself up in a grocery store like this during a zombie apocalypse or keep it moving?"
"Well." Mingi continues to slowly walk down the aisles, making sure he doesn't miss any ingredients on his mental grocery list needed for tonight's dinner. "I'd say keep it moving."
"Why? You'd have everything in here."
"That's if no one raids the store, which would be impossible at that time. Plus, it can only keep you safe for so long before zombies find their way in or another group comes around. You could quite literally die before you even have a chance to try and survive."
"You'd have to take a break at some point though, right?"
"You could, but always best to keep it moving, ace. Never leave a trail for people."
"Okay, touché."
"Cereal first or milk first?" Mingi suddenly asks as they go through the cereal section.
"Cereal."
"What? No. Did your dad teach you that?"
"What kind of planet are you living on? Isn't that how it normally is?" Mingi stops the cart and looks at her. 
"Warm or cold milk then?"
"For cereal?" Mingi nods. "Cold?!"
"You and your weird ass dad." Seora laughs loudly. "Did anybody want a child? Cause this one is not mine—" Seora pinches her uncle's bicep, causing him to yelp as they push through the remaining aisles.
"You soggy cereal lover." Seora points out.
"That's literally the best way to have it."
"Ew, you're like eating mushed up cardboard." Mingi sighs.
"You're very lucky I love you and that your dad is my bestfriend or else I would've blocked him."
"You're so dramatic." She throws more snacks into the cart just as they're about to head to the registers.
"Any more snacks or you're good?"
"I'm good! I'm excited for dinner." Mingi laughs.
"I am, too. Too bad I gotta cook it first."
"You're a great cook, Uncle Mangi. I always enjoy the food you make." She tugs on his sleeve.
"I do try my best." She helps her uncle load the groceries onto the belt, pulling the cart towards the end to help bag up their things and throw it back in. Mingi taps his card to the reader before helping Seora with the heavier bags. Once they've gathered all their things, Mingi pushes the cart over to the car, loading it up in his trunk while Seora plops into the front seat. "Ready to head home?"
"Yeah, dying to shake a shower." Mingi starts up the car and begins the journey home.
"Yeah, you need it." He teases, causing Seora to lightly punch him on the arm.
"You're mean!"
"Kidding!" He laughs. "So, what's on the agenda tonight? We eat, you do homework. Watch some shows? Talk a walk around the neighborhood?"
"Sure, whatever floats your boat. I kinda have a bit of homework so I dunno about that walk. Plus, I'm pretty sore already."
"Okay, we'll play it by ear then." On the way home, Seora continues to tell Mingi about the staycation her father took her on and the new dog café they visited. She talks to him about her friends and how one of her friends started having a crush on one of the boys in their class. Mingi playfully gasps before lecturing her about boys and how icky they can be [coming from an honest heart]. But Seora laughs it off and tells her uncle that she's not really worried about that stuff.
All Mingi can say in response is 'you better not be.'
When the two finally get home, Mingi immediately sets himself up in the kitchen to get dinner going, while Seora throws her backpack down in the living room and heads straight to the shower. She takes a good, long shower before throwing on her pajamas and brushing through her wet hair. She sits on the living room floor and gets going with her homework while waiting for her uncle to finish cooking dinner.
Meanwhile, Yunho makes his way over to the peds hospital— happily stepping into the elevator to make his way back up to your office. When he gets there, he realizes most people have already clocked out and left for the day, only leaving you and a select few heads working away in the cubicles.
"Hey. Ready?" You smile as you look up at Yunho, sending one last meeting invite for next week before closing down your apps and shutting off your laptop.
"Yeah! I thought you were gonna text me so I could meet you halfway."
"Um, no." Yunho laughs. "I would much rather come get you so we can walk to the car together." 
"That's sweet." You throw on your coat and slide the bag strap over your shoulder. "So, how was the rest of your day?"
"Good. Not too crazy, at least."
"Did the offers go out to the candidates you were planning on hiring?"
"Oh, yeah! They actually signed earlier this week and they'll be starting next week. They were able to get the background checks cleared out in time."
"Aw, that's awesome! You guys will finally get help." 
"Yeah. It'll be busy for awhile getting them onboarded and trained."
"Yunho's gonna go MIA."
"Yunho is not gonna go MIA." He laughs. 
"You sure about that?"
"Yeah, of course." He chuckles. "I'll always make time."
"You say that now."
"And I'll say it tomorrow, and the next day, and so on." He pinches your cheeks. "Don't trip." You smile feeling his warm touch against your skin. "Well, I didn't think it'd be so cold this evening. Are you okay with your coat and all? Is it enough?"
"It is."
"Okay, well just let me know. We'll be inside for the most part, but I want you to be comfortable."
"Thank you." You continue to walk alongside of Yunho until you get to his car. You give him the ins and outs of your day besides the whole computer issue that he tried to rescue you from while he grabs your bags and gently sets it in the trunk of his BMW and pops the door open for you. When you slide in and get comfortable, you notice how spotless his car is and how it smells like a hint of his cologne, along with laundry detergent and the fresh car smell. There are a few colorful hair ties lining the bottom of one of the cupholders, along with a hoodie in the backseat and a basketball. Yunho laughs and apologizes for Seora's mess— he also hasn't gotten a chance to bring in her things simply because he doesn't think much of it.
It almost feels like Seora is with him one way or another and he finds comfort in that.
On the drive over to dinner, he asks a bit about what other days look like for you and if you anticipate other big projects to come your way. You talk about a new project that was already mentioned to you by your manager, which involves remodeling one of the levels to a study/meeting area. You also tell Yunho it isn't a high priority, but you've already started the conversation with some of the facilities coordinators that can help rope in the appropriate vendors for certain tasks.
He transitions by telling you a few of the little projects he's been working on with his team, along with figuring out how to upgrade systems and all that jazz. You find that Yunho and his team are constantly working to support so many different departments, and it amazes you how well Yunho is able to delegate and keep himself afloat. You ask if he's ever had to work late because of really urgent issues and he says he's only had to do it once or twice— most can typically wait until the morning.
"Okay." He says, pulling into a tight, narrow street to start looking for parking. "We're here."
"I have no idea where we're at."
"Oh." Yunho laughs. "That's good then. More of a surprise for you. But, please keep your expectations down cause I didn't do much."
"Stop. Don't say things like that. I'll love it either way." Yunho smiles as he turns another corner and finds a spot right away. He parks flawlessly next to the curb, shutting off his car before turning back to you. 
"Ready?" You nod quietly, watching as Yunho hops out and does a light jog over to open the door for you. You give him a smile and tug on your coat while Yunho locks his door and leads the way next to you, hand on the small of your back. The walk isn't too far, the restaurant being down on the opposite end of the street, across the block. To your surprise, Yunho brings you to one of the new conveyor belt sushi restaurants. He greets the host and he immediately takes you back to a little booth near the belt. It's snug enough to fit two people. 
"I'm excited." You look at Yunho and he laughs.
"Same, I could eat. You like sushi, right? Please tell me I didn't fuck up." He looks concerned for a moment.
"No, no. I love sushi. I actually haven't had it in so long." You rearrange your set up so you can eat comfortably, the waiter taking your order for drinks. You both ask for water, but before the waiter can walk off, Yunho suddenly asks for two glasses of hot sake. 
"Thank you." He says, giving the waiter a curt nod.
"Sake?"
"Our little celebration for getting through the week."
"Wow, okay. Touché. I can get behind that." You look at him. "My birthday's coming up. You should come out with Mingi and Seonghwa. We're heading out to the club." You pause before shaking your head. "Or, actually, I'm being forced to go to the club to celebrate."
"Forced, hm?" He laughs. "That sounds fun, though. Send me the details. We'll definitely try to celebrate with you."
"Might be fun. We can be a fun group of people."
"Yeah?" Yunho likes that, you're down for things and he can tell you go with the flow. He likes someone who can just have fun with him. Someone who can just be with him; it wouldn't matter where they go or where their relationship takes them.
"Mhm. And I can tell you guys are fun." You laugh. "Seora must love having you as her dad."
"I hope so." Yunho laughs along. "By the way, feel free to start digging in." He gestures towards the moving conveyor belt and you happily start exploring your options as they come— taking a fresh plate of salmon nigiri to start off. The waiter quickly comes back with two glasses of hot sake, making Yunho smirk at you. He sets his chopsticks down and slides your glass over, raising his while you take yours. "Cheers? For getting through the week."
"Cheers!" You say cheerfully, tapping your glass against his before taking some of the hot sake down your throat. It burns, but the heat brings more warmth to your body on this cold evening. "Speaking of Seora, where is she right now now?" You drink a bit more before taking another plate off the belt.
"Spending time with her Uncle Mingi."
"That's cute." Yunho grabs a few plates and sets them aside while he decides which one he'll tackle first.
"She had practice and I had him go pick her up. I think they were heading to the grocery store to buy some ingredients for dinner before heading home last time he texted me."
"What did you tell her?"
"Mm." He hums. "I hope you don't take it personally or anything, but I told her it was a team dinner."
"No, of course not."
"I just, yeah." He chuckles a bit. "It's just easier to go with that."
"I believe it." The both of you continue to eat away at the sushi, small, empty plates piling up on the side of the table. Small conversations continue about day-to-day life; you and your friends, what you've been doing for yourself lately. Suddenly, you dwell on the fact that you don't know much about Yunho besides his day-to-day life with Seora and work. You know about his friends, his coworkers. But, you don't know anything deeper about his personal life.
His parents.
You didn't wanna be nosy and pry, but you wondered why his parents weren't the ones watching Seora. 
Was it too much of you to ask?
Was this considered a real date if you two weren't trying to get to know each other? What were the boundaries?
"Yunho?"
"What's up?"
"Can I ask you something more personal?"
"Anything."
"I hope I'm not crossing boundaries here, but what about your parents? How come they don't watch Seora?"
"You're not crossing any boundaries." Yunho reassures you, but shakes his head before dipping into his next plate of sushi. "Uh, it's complicated. Things kinda just fell apart when Eunha passed." You slowly nod. "When my parents found out Eunha was pregnant, they didn't want us to continue with the pregnancy cause we were, what? 20 years old when we found out? Still in the midst of college. But, that's not what we wanted. They almost got to Eunha but we pushed through in the end and we had Seora. It was really hard for a long, long time, but Seora was worth every bit of it. My parents obviously didn't like the fact that we went against their wishes, so they kept their distance. It's been that way ever since, even when Eunha passed. I think it got worst, actually. Plus, I never had the best relationship with them from the get-go. They only see Seora once in a blue moon. They're the grandparents that just send the occasional bouts of money, birthday and holidays cards. Seora always wonders about them, but I can never give her an answer as to why her grandparents aren't around." 
"I'm sorry, Yunho."
"Don't be sorry." Yunho smiles a bit.
"W-what about Eunha's parents?" You wanna ask about Eunha too, but you know this isn't the time.
"Uh, they're the same. They—" He pauses. "They cut off ties when she passed because it was too hard for them."
"Oh. Yunho." You say sympathetically, feeling incredibly bad for having brought it up in the first place. "I really am sorry. I didn't mean to be such a debbie downer during dinner."
"No, it's okay. I promise. I've.. gotten used to it at this point. It used to be hard for me, but I've accepted everything."
"Still doesn't mean it doesn't get hard for you."
"I've learned to manage." He gives you a tiny, toothless smile.
"I hope you know you're doing an amazing job balancing everything and for being a great father to Seora."
"Thanks." 
"I'm also glad you have Seonghwa and Mingi."
"Me too." He laughs. "They're a pain in my ass, but they're my bestfriends. I don't think I would have been able to get through a lot without them. And they're good to Seora."
"That's good, I'm glad." You eat a bit more before you feel yourself getting content and full.
"Full?"
"Damn near. I think I ate too fast." You chuckle. "I'm almost done with my sake."
"Bottoms up?" You nod, tapping your glass against his before the both of you take it to the neck. Yunho finishes up a few more plates before he sits back and gulps his water down, causing you to giggle to yourself. "Fuck, I'm full. Overdid it, for sure."
"Was worth every bit of it, though. Maybe we should walk it off?"
"Yeah. Let's head to the next stop. I think you'll like it. And we'll get our steps in." He pulls his wallet out of his pocket, calling the waiter over.
"Can I split with you?"
"Absolutely not." Yunho says, handing over his card directly to him.
"You're already driving me everywhere and taking me to another location after this. The least I can do is chip in."
"Nope. The least you can do is just enjoy yourself with me tonight." He smiles sweetly just as he grabs the receipt handed to him by the waiter, signing off and tucking his own copy swiftly into his pocket before looking at you. 
"Couldn't even let me see the receipt."
"Nope." He repeats and stands. "Ready to go, pretty girl?" You feel the heat rise to your cheeks as you stand and nod, leading the way out of the restaurant with Yunho in tow. He answers your questions on the way to the car, giving you hints about the next location. It still leaves you stumped in the end, deciding to let Yunho continue taking matters into his own hands with you. He opens the door like the gentleman he is, slipping into the driver's seat as he rubs his hands together and immediately turns the heat on when he starts the car. "All good? Too hot?"
"Just perfect."
"Good." You sit back comfortably as Yunho sets off for the next destination for tonight. "So, how was the sushi? Be honest."
"It was so good!" He looks at you when he comes to a red light, almost as if he's trying to read you, really read you, and you giggle. "What?"
"Just making sure."
"That I'm not lying?"
"Maybe." You laugh even more.
"I would never. If I didn't enjoy it, I would've given an honest review."
"Mmkay, I believe you." He laughs. "I want you to have a good night with me."
"I am already." You look at him with a soft expression. "And I'm sure the next part to this will be just as fun. If not, more. I trust you."
"Do you?"
"I do." Yunho smiles, wanting to hold your hand so badly while he drives. But, he doesn't. He holds back. He feels like there could be a better opportunity.
One that'll feel right and set the mood for the remainder of the night.
For this entirely.
After a good 20 minutes of driving down south, Yunho exits off the freeway and takes an immediate right down towards a large-sized building with all modern exterior designs. He parks in the lot next to it, doing his gentleman deed of helping you out of the car and leading you towards the beautiful building.
It's one of the city's biggest museums, and the event they're hosting for a couple of weeks is called Spirit House. It focuses on Asian American and Asian diasporic artists that are showcasing art pertaining to horror, spirits, haunted houses, reincarnation, different dimensions and other themes along those lines. You continue to read the pamphlet before Yunho looks at you with a small smile on his face.
"Wanna walk around?" You nod.
"How'd you know I'd be into this stuff?"
"It sounded cool, so why not?"
"You're good, Jeong Yunho." You giggle and continue into the first part of the exhibit. The atmosphere is dark and dim, the artwork on the walls screaming afterlife. Death. Souls. Horror, fear. You're so intrigued that you find yourself slowly moving from work to work; trying to take in all the details of the images in front of you. You didn't even realize Yunho had been watching you from behind, snapping photos every chance he could before moving onto the next room to get a preview of what's to come.
"Hey." Yunho says from behind you. "Wanna show you something in the next room." 
"Okay." You look down at the hand he puts out, waiting for you to take it. You gently slide your hand in his, fingers intertwining before he guides you to the next exhibit and it feels incredibly natural. It's a room full of mini fixtures— almost like miniature set-ups of old fashioned homes and other buildings. He shows you one that has the artist's own adaptation of Junji Ito characters spread across levels of an old, haunted house.
"Oh my god, I love it." You peek down to get a closer look, hand still laced with Yunho's. "I love Junji Ito. And the work in the other room reminded me of Takato Yamamoto. It's amazing."
"Made for you." You chuckle, tugging him along as you both look at the next miniature setups alongside of it. Yunho doesn't even mind one bit. He's enjoying the exhibit, but he's enjoying it even more with you here— holding his hand every step of the way. You snap a few photos of the art before Yunho directs you to stand near one of the exhibits where the lighting falls on you perfectly. He takes a few more photos— more candid ones from behind you especially— just so you have photos to look back at when you wanna reminisce on your first date with him.
The next room of the exhibit is an interactive light show; the  room is completely dark, with different lights projecting things around the room. The background music is mysterious, creepy; fitting the vibe all together. You continue to walk with Yunho while snapping photos of your silhouettes in the mirrors. Yunho gets silly and makes a bunch of poses, making you laugh loudly in the process. At one point, you've found yourself standing near the corner of the room, watching all the lights come together to project a beautiful show onto the walls. Yunho comes next to you, admiring the same view— but you, mainly. You look up at him to tell him how amazing the event is, but he's already looking down at you with fondness and endearment sprinkled in his big brown orbs.
You almost.. wanna kiss him.
But, you shake off the thought quickly by dragging him to the next exhibits— loosely holding his hand throughout the rest of the event.
Too bad he would've kissed you back, had you known.
No, he needs to be a gentleman and he needs to do right by you, Yunho thinks. He can't just kiss you on the first date or else he runs the risk of you thinking he only wants you for one thing.
Like Ara; but, that situation is a little different.
"Yunho! That was so fun." You smile at him the way you do, and it melts his heart. "Thank you for taking me to this."
"Of course. I think it ends after the weekend, so perfect timing." You quickly scroll through some of the pictures you took. "I'll send you the pictures I have later."
"Okay." You look at the buskers on the opposite end of the street, along with a food cart nearby. "Yunho, let's go check it out really quickly!"
"I'm down." He nods, noticing it's only about to hit 10pm. Seora must be waiting for him, but he knows she'll sleep until he gets there and Mingi hasn't made a peep. He feels like he's in the clear.
He holds your hand tightly as you both cross the street safely, stopping near the food cart first while lightly bouncing to the live music nearby.
"Want a snack?" You nod and cling onto his arm.
"I could use one. Museum took up my energy." He laughs. Yunho buys some custard-filled bungeoppang for you two to snack on while observing the buskers. You bounce along next to him and he starts to dance in his own way, making you laugh at how cute he's being with you. You snap a few photos of him that you'll share later, not knowing Yunho had a bunch of your photos to share as well.
You and Yunho sing along to some familiar songs before the buskers end the first half of their performance for a tiny break.
"That was cool. They did really well!"
"They were so good!" You toss in some cash into the guitar case. "And I didn't know you could sing!"
"I— no." Yunho laughs.
"I wanna hear more of your singing." You pout as you tug on his arm on the way back to the car.
"Maybe."
"Yunho." You whine and he laughs.
"I promise you it's nothing that great."
"Very much the opposite of what I think, just so you know." He stands by the passenger door, allowing you to hop in but he doesn't close the door right away. He stands and looks at you and there's something in his eyes that you can't really read.
"I hope you enjoyed it."
"I did. A lot." He licks his lips, and you can tell he's having the same internal battle you had not too long ago in the light exhibit. But, he brushes it off by tapping the door frame before shutting your door gently and hopping into his seat. 
The drive home is as expected; with you and Yunho talking about your similar music tastes this time and Yunho being a bit more open about his vocals. You look at him as he sings a tune or two, explaining that his dad is the one with the vocals in the family. You tease that next time, you two should go to a karaoke bar to end the night and he smirks.
At least you're thinking about next time's just like he is, too.
When he pulls up to your apartment, you find yourself not wanting to part from him. You know he has to go home to Seora though, and it breaks your heart knowing she's been waiting for her dad to come home. You step out of the car and tug on your coat, the night colder than it was a few hours ago.
"Welp, this is me." You both look at the apartment building, with Yunho tucking his hands into his pockets.
"Let me walk you up."
"No, it's okay. I promise it's right there." You point at your apartment before chuckling and turning to him completely. "Goodnight, Yunho. Thank you for tonight. I had a lot of fun."
"You're welcome, Y/N." He watches as you lean in to give him a kiss on the cheek. He blushes, and he loves the initiation, but he freezes. Completely. 
"I'll see you next week, hm? Get home safely." You smile toothlessly at him before turning on your heel to walk up to your unit. Just as you're about to make it up the steps, Yunho is chasing after you with long strides, causing you to turn and raise a brow. "Did I leave something?"
"Mm, maybe." He says with a tiny smirk on his face. Suddenly, his large, warm hands come up to cup your cheeks— lips capturing yours in a sweet goodnight kiss. "Goodnight." You smile up at him as his thumb caresses the surface of your right cheek.
"Night." He steps back, biting his bottom lip to prevent himself from smiling too big. He lingers around until he sees you successfully slip into your unit and hears the door shut close.
What he doesn't see is the way you squeal and dig your face into your hands, incredibly giddy and happy from the turn of events.
You really liked Yunho.
And he does, too.
So much that the smile doesn't even fade when he pulls up to the house, Mingi's car leaving enough room for him to park in his usual spot. Yunho can see the faint flickering of the TV lights through the kitchen window, and he knows Seora is probably on the couch waiting for his arrival.
When he steps through the door, Mingi is placing some food into the fridge before returning his attention to the remaining dishes in the sink. He quietly greets his bestfriend before nodding towards the couch— signaling that Seora had fallen asleep while waiting.
"Has it been long?" Yunho asks lowly.
"A bit, yeah. She said practice was exhausting today." Yunho chuckles before crouching down in front of the couch and brushing her hair back.
"Ace." Her eyes slowly flicker open.
"Oh, finally. You're back." He laughs.
"Let's get to bed, hm?" She sleepily nods, sitting up before walking to her bedroom. "Say bye to uncle Mingi."
"Love you, ace!" Mingi calls out as he watches her sleepily walk across the living room.
"Love you too. Goodnight." She mutters and lazily waves before dragging herself into her room and shutting the door. It isn't long before Yunho sees her shut off the lights, causing him to turn the volume down on the TV before helping Mingi clean up.
"So, how was it?" Yunho smiles.
"Good." He avoids eye contact as he blushes, setting the dry dishes into the cabinet.
"Good?"
"Yeah."
"Meaning?" Mingi rests against the corner before smirking at him. " I have time."
"I really, really like her."
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selfaware-promise-au · 3 days ago
Note
so sorry if this goes against your rules since I haven't seen any yet but could you wright a sahsrau where reader tries to help Bailu save the xianzhou natives from their curse and in the end, they end up succeeding in doing so
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Warnings: OOC. Platonic relationship. Mentions of medications.
A/N: Don't worry, your request didn't want against my rules.
----
You knew, that Blade's healing won't go unnoticed. How could it not be? The case of healed mara, that mysterious plague, would catch people's attention.
So, you won't be surprised, if the question of healing others would be asked.
But, it didn't come. Each time you attend The Xianzhou Luofu, you saw, how Alchemy Commission Personnel looked at you. Blade still was Persona non grata, but he was with you during your first visit. People saw him only once, and they see enough for rumors to start circling around.
But no one approach him or you with The Question.
Initiative is punishable, but you will take a risk.
-----
Now you spend most of your days in HSR World with Bailu. Observing mara-struck and helping her with healing other different sickness. And reading anything you could find about mara. Information was limited and, in some cases, vague. Not enough to work with or make solid theories.
But you have to start with something.
One time, when you two were having a small tea break together, Bailu thanked you.
"[Y/N], thank you for your help. Even if we didn't make any progress for now, I appreciate it."
-----
The first attempt in curing mara was an interesting one. You, with some help from Dimer, got some medication for Memory, Cognition & Dementia-Related Behaviors from the Real World. They did slow down the mara process, but didn't help patients to rid of it.
The second attempt was the most obvious. Using your blood.
You and Bailu keep "the main ingredient" of the experimental cure a secret.
Somehow, you succeed and fail at the same time.
Your blood did burn away mara-infected cells, curing it. But, your blood also burned in a process. One vial of your blood was enough to cure early stages of mara, but more serious cases required more of your blood. And there were too many patients. They need a lot of your blood.
Too much blood for one adult to give and stay alive and healthy.
You tried to write to Dimer again. Asking for an artifact, that would make you be able to give more blood.
His answer was short. Just a small reminder, that you shouldn't feel obliged to do something drastic or big to pay for your ancestors' sins. And you shouldn't experiment on yourself.
Yes, you have no obligation to help anyone from three worlds. You were just a normal person (with very questionable ancestors). You have no reason to travel between HSR World, Teyvat and New Eridu, for crying out loud! You could stay on Earth and build up HSR/Teyvat/New Eridu Gangs and left the war against divinity to them! And then, no matter if they win or lose, you will live in shame for being a coward. Guilty by inaction.
And you don't want to do that. You have empathy.
You will never forgive yourself, if you didn't try.
That's what you write in your next letter to him.
His next letter was short.
"In the eyes of the divine, you belong to the Earth, to the 'Real World'. However, you still have a deep connection to three more worlds. The connection, that will become stronger with time. Wait. Either for two more months for your blood to become more effective, or until Perversion fall, so you can think about a different alternative for mara."
------
In two months, one vial of your blood was enough to cure more serious stages of mara, and few drops were enough for earlier stages.
A quick letter to Dimer confirmed, that it's not the end and your blood will become even more effective in no time.
Slowly, but surely, the current mara-struck would be healed. As for mara-struck to come...
"So, what do you think?" You observed, how Bailu finished reading the last paper from a small stack you gave her earlier.
It was a project for a future. After Perversion will be dealt with, either you, or anyone who take the Creator's role, will make a lot of changes. One of them would be to change mara to something different.
You decided to call it Molting. While not an accurate title, it gave a good enough idea for what it will be.
In short, after a long-lived species reach eight hundred years, the regeneration process in their bodies will become dormant. During the next one hundred and fifty years they would go through a traditional aging process. Bad memory, bad eyesight, illness... Some unimportant memories will be "deleted". Nothing important will disappear. It should give a much-needed mental 'reboot' to a person.
After one hundred and fifty years passed, the regeneration process will start again. At the end, long-lived human will become good as new. Both physically and mentally.
She put the last paper down and looked at you.
"It is better, than the mara, I admit. But, Divine Healing, do they really need an aging process?"
You immediately nodded, while ignoring the title.
"Yes. Some rules must be followed. If not death, then aging. If not an internal sleep, then a rebirth, or regeneration, or..."
"Molting?" Bailu tilted her head. You nodded.
"Yes. I might come up with something else. But, for now, I only can think about that. I will do better..."
Bailu clapped her hands, making you stop talking. A grateful smile appeared on her face.
"Thank you for everything, Divine Healing. You already did enough. We already have a cure. Mara doesn't look too bad or scary anymore. And if you change mara to something less lethal and cruel... Xianzhou Alliance already in your debt, Divine Healing, but after that, you might become as important as Lan The Hunt."
You nervously chuckled. You were glad, that you have good relationship with aeons. You don't want to live in fear of being a target of Lan's hunt. Or Yaoshi's rage. Your voice was barely a whisper.
"I didn't do it for praise. I won't do it for recognition."
Bailu quickly nodded.
"I know, Divine Healing. But we couldn't just let your good deeds to be left unnoticed. Few days ago, Arbiter-Generals, Six Charioteers, High Elders and Preceptors have a discussion about you. Xianzhou Alliance are ready to follow you. We will assist you in your quest in saving three worlds. Together to the brighter future, right, Divine Healing?"
You looked away, staring at the distance.
"Yes. To the future."
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ledesaid · 21 hours ago
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Billy has a special trunk 💼 #2
Or Billy Batson can travel between trunks and meet two Jasons.
◉◉◉◉◉◉◉◉◉◉◉◉◉◉
Bambi went out every morning and left Billy watching television. Billy took advantage of that moment to travel through the trunk. It's not that he was forbidden to sneak away, but he preferred not to worry her and waited until she went out to work.
On the other hand, the one he really wanted to scare was Jason, who considered Billy a ghost.
Jason: Do you have unfinished business on Earth?
Billy: Yes, a few. Haven't you seen letters or a crystal ball when you opened this trunk?
Jason: No, kid, and I know for a fact that this trunk hasn't been opened in fifteen years.
Billy: Well, I had to try.
Jason: Speaking of cards, do you want to play? I have a deck.
Billy: Sure, I have nothing better to do... Are you grounded or something?
Jason: Is it obvious?
Billy: I don't think you voluntarily spend your afternoons next to a trunk waiting for it to appear.
Jason: I like you too, ghost boy.
Billy: Jason, it's been days, are you going to keep calling me kid or ghost?
Jason: Sorry, I was told it's impolite to ask a ghost for their name.
Billy: I'm Billy and it's not a problem, but I'll let you know if you ask something too personal.
Jason: Can you eat?
Billy: Definitely...
Billy evaluated his situation as "Billy, the friendly little ghost". Do ghosts eat? He wasn't so sure, but... Billy did eat. So that is the absolute truth.
Billy: We can try if you bring something.
Jason: Great, I'll ask Alfred for a snack.
Billy: I'll shuffle, my friend Freddy taught me a trick.
Jason won, he had more experience, but Billy was happy. It had been a while since he interacted so freely with another kid who didn't want to hit him or ignore him. At least not since Fawcett's kidnapper appeared.
Jason is a very kind boy, apparently very rich, but very kind and talkative. He listens to how he was adopted by a big shot when he tried to steal the tires of his favorite car. Years have passed since then, but they get along quite well and although he is grounded, he knows his father appreciates him.
Billy changes his expression while he wonders how much longer he can keep invading Bambi's space. He couldn't stay forever... She has plans in another city as soon as she passes her exam.
He is not going to think about the small or minimal possibility of believing that she could adopt him. She was quite young and that was impossible... Besides, she was like an older sister.
Having someone permanent like Jason has not been that simple.
Jason: Come on Billy, I grew up in an alley. I'm a professional, obviously it's hard to beat me... Are you worried about something?
It seems his expression said too much.
Billy: Jason, what if I wasn't a ghost?... Would that change anything between us?
Jason: You could stay in this room as long as you want, I mean, you already do, but if you want to keep something here, I promise not to interfere and I would introduce you to Alfred... he's like a grandfather to me.
Billy: So, I'm a ghost.
Jason: Or I could simply bring more snacks... I'd give you one of my old jerseys and... maybe I'd ask you to play with me on the basketball court we have, if you want.
Billy: Well, now I'm less of a ghost.
A normal day
A normal day, not considering that the heating in the apartment was broken, Billy asks the trunk to take him to Jason to escape the cold... He doesn't expect this harmless chat in the air to lead him to a very elegant dark office with a lit fireplace. Nor that someone would stick him to the ceiling like a fly.
...: "Who dares to intrude into the home of Jason Blood?"
Billy: This looks bad, Mr. Blood... But I swear I shouldn't be here, I planned to go to a friend's house...
Jason B.: Your excuse is hardly believable, mischievous little wizard.
Billy: I swear, his name is also Jason... Excuse me, did you say wizard?
Billy doesn't miss how the red-haired man takes a crystal ball from the mantelpiece. Suspiciously like his own.
Jason B.: Just like with Merlin, I see your magical signature, but I must ensure your intrusion doesn't leave negative effects.
Billy: Magical signature?
Jason B.: Hoping not to fall into a deception. Are you really a child as your physical form shows?
Billy: Yes, I am!
To his relief, he is returned to the floor of the study. The soft carpet reminds him a bit of Jason's mansion.
Jason B: Little wizard, you are very lucky I can tell when someone is lying.
Billy: Can I ask you a question, Mr. Blood?
Jason B.: Be quick, kid.
Billy: Is that object in your hands yours? I have lost my belongings and I am looking for them with the help of a... magical trunk.
Jason B.: Coincidentally, it is not. It appeared in that trunk a few days ago and your strange explanation confirms your possible right over this object. However...
Billy: Please, a dear friend gave it to me and I have taken care of it for several years until the trunk played a bad trick on me.
Jason B.: I'm not familiar with the term bad trick, but I can accept to give it to you in exchange for a favor.
Billy shudders, alarms of a bad idea ringing loudly in his head. He's a stranger, with powers...
Billy: You're a stranger.
Jason B.: And you're a trespasser. I have a problem with loose fairies in my closet, due to my... mystical nature, I can't touch them or they will die, but I trust that your magical signature will make it possible for you to see them and free them for me.
Billy: I didn't say I would do it.
Jason B.: If you want the sphere, I expect you can achieve it. I'll be back in half an hour, I hope you succeed.
Blood doesn't give Billy time to object more before leaving the room, taking the sphere with him.
Billy scolds himself while trying to do what he was asked. It takes longer than expected, but he manages to throw three fairies out of the redhead's window.
Jason B.: I thank you for the help, by the way, in respect for my old friend I must warn you to be careful, your magical ability could make you a target for evil sorcerers. I'm not aware of this, but if you like, I know a wizard named Zatara who could give you some instruction if you use your words wisely.
Billy: Thanks... I guess.
Blood keeps his promise and Billy gets into the trunk. He appears in the mansion and, to his relief, carries the crystal sphere with him.
Jason: Billy, why are you covered in glitter?
Billy: Some fairies spat their magical glitter on me, maybe if I jump out the window I can fly...
Jason: Fuck, you meet Tinkerbell?
-------
Part 1 |
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potatoesenpaii · 16 hours ago
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Hi friend: dealers choice!! Eddie or Gareth taking care of you while sick??🤒 love you!
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Eddie ;
When he received a call from your mother warning him that you would not assist your usual saturday night date...He got worried. Eddie was not unfamiliar with sickness, he did lived in poverty pretty much all his life, so he would catch every unimaginable sickness known to men when cold hit.
But seeing you with a disheveled shirt and a pair of boxers, snoring face first in your pillow he...wanted to laugh so hard. Your mother warned him your fever was close to be ER worth, so he offered to spend the rest of the weekend by your side to make sure it wouldn't happen.
He tried to shift you to lay on your back, alas his body fell forward and face first in the mattress close to your right side. He was absolutely ridicule and guess that was karma for laughing at you when he came in.
His grunt make you wake up, trying to sit up to be blocked by the body of your boyfriend's over you in his weird position.
"Baby?" You grumbled in a yawn with blurred eyes.
"Yeah?" Eddie said muffled as he sat himself back to something normal.
"What are you doing?" You ask, instantly going to bury your warm body against his.
"Caring for you" He said, hoping you wouldn't ask about how he was placed....
"With your face in my mattress?" You raised you head just to be shushed back to lay it on his chest.
"Thought it would be more comfortable" he said innocently, trying to pass his mistake for nothing.
"Uh-uh.." You snorted while pulling on his shirt.
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Gareth ;
Moment he got the call? He was already by your side. Well at your door, with you opening it wide opened and being confused how he showed up under ten minutes when you lived fifteen minutes away from Hawkins.
"That was.." You started, to be cut short as his hand feeling your forehead.
"Fast, yeah i know." He closed the door with a small kick before leading you back to your bedroom.
"You know I'm not dying, right?" You whined while letting him guide you back to your bed.
"Might as well be if you're acting like a baby" He smiled while forcing your shoulders down to sit at the edge of your bed.
"You didn't have to come" You hummed, letting your body fall back on the bed.
"Are you joking? Is this a joke?" He asked while trying to find your warmest pyjama's since you didn't bothered to wear anything else but shorts and a large shirt.
"Garebear" You whispered softly, snapping him out of his anxiety and turning his head to your form with open arms waiting for him to just come cuddle.
He didn't really hesitate to let himself fall into your arms, making you make a oof "I hate when you're sick"
"I hate being sick too, love" You sighed, pressing a kiss to the crown of his head.
"Is it okay if i spend the night?" He asked muffled into your shoulder.
"You don't want Eddie to drive you again?" You stiffled a laugh, guessing that's how he got to you so fast.
"...Maybe I just want to make sure you'll be okay tomorrow?...Okay fine, i don't want Eddie to drive me again" You laughed at the way he practically whined it.
"You can stay the night" You chuckled while resting your eyes for a bit.
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Tag list : @iitsmandii @1lostsoul0fishbowl @week-old-tiramisu
Masterlist
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squiddy-god · 17 hours ago
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Headcanons on Mr Scarletella with a touchy and flirty ahh soulmate? 😰(both sfw and nsfw) pretty please with a cherry on top (WOULD lick and bite that hemoglobin looking mf from top to bottom if I could get my hands on him 🤭)
I too would absolutely devour that man, his spooky ass is not safe. No requested gender for reader so this is gender neutral 
Cw : scarlettella, obsessive behavior, horny thoughts, i mean like really horny thoughts, sweet loving spooky fluff, he's a creep, he's a weirdo, smut and fluff, the first half is fluff the latter is smut, freaky nasty ghost sex. Gn reader nothing specified 
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Oh 
Oh this is a little too perfect 
Now i don't know if you literally meant soulmates so i did not focus on it but encase you did mean truly soul mates he will never let that go lmao 
Especially if like we are talking about red stings of fate style soulmates
Spends so much time just looking at the little string that binds you to him PERMANENTLY 
Mr delulu absolutely loves that you are touchy because he wants you to touch him and keep touching him 
Now you mentioned soulmates specifically and oh boy never explain that concept to him because it will only make his delusions so much worse because you are his soulmate
He adores how you cling to him, how your hand fits in his and how you let him engulf your smaller form 
Lets you touch his hair, afterall why should that creepy crawly get all of your headpats 
Truly this is his ideal, letting him touch you and you touching him back is a dream come true
Literally
Like this creep dreams of you, dreams of having you with him always and feeling the softness of your hands on him
Your lips pressed against him
It fills him with a giddy kind of elation that has his grayish skin blushing a deep bloody red
 And the fact that you are flirty??? Hnnngngghhhh spare this man
At first he doesn't get it, he doesn't understand flirting but he understands that this is good attention
But once he catches on, and he catches on quickly, he is overjoyed that you flirt with him so ple do continue 
I think mr sarletella could be described as flirty in his own way, in his own creepy way 
“You like me…very much…desire me…us together very much long time”
You are driving this many crazy tho
He already takes all of your actions as being flirty towards him, so the fact that your personality leans into him delusions is not helping 
Nsfw 
Hmmmmmggghhhhhh 
Run lmao 
Oh wait…haha you can't 
You cant because this man will be turning your legs into jello one way or another, if it isnt because the way he fucks you into the nearest surface its because he is doing it every chance he gets 
Im personally a big fan of the umbrella jokes and the hc that he can feel touch through the umbrella so i'm going to use that
He can feel the slide of your hand against the umbrella, he can feel the way you touch and hold it and he is shuddering in the corner because of it
Your every touch is literally tourcher to him because he wants nothing more then to shove his hands up your shirt to feel you better
 Cums in his pants and i will die on this hill this man is so desperate if you flirt with him at all he is bricked and god forbid you like idk wisher in his ear and plant kisses along his face and jaw
Hes cooked 
He is not lasting if you show him affection
Dont worry tho because nasty freak ass ghost man in red doesn't know what the words take a break or refractory period are 
I said it in my other ghost sex post but i think he is like the #1 fan of bloody sex, he likes it when it's your blood or someone else's (i don't think he has blood) 
Yk what i think would break him? If you had blood on your hands and then like blew him a kiss or something to that effect 
FATALITY 
He thinks you look so pretty in red 
In his colors 
As his 
HIS
And opp hes hard again 
I think he would like to tugg on the red string of fate while hes pounding you into whatever surface he has you pressed against, that way you can feel the little tugg deep in your soul and know its him<3 
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icecoldbeauty · 4 hours ago
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Well that just makes the scene even more confusing, don't it? Almost feel bad for the boy, must've been so confused, I know I'd have been! And I agree, really. The world could use a little more happiness in it as a whole, it feels so dreary these days, like less people are smiling than they used to. Unfortunately business people like that do make it a challenge sometimes! That's pretty much why I quit the League. All of that draining and soulless business work wore on me so much harder when professional battling was already beginning to stop feeling fulfilling. Day in and day out- spend all of it battling, and when not doing that, put up with all the business nonsense instead. I'd already spent roughly two decades doing that- couldn't let the rest of my life be wasted that way too when there was more I wanted to do, and I was only going to be young for so much longer. So I up and left. I think it would've been even more soul crushing and harder to leave if I ever had gone for champion, so I'm glad I didn't. Really, more people should stop and think it through a little harder before that kind of a decision. It's not the all that and then some that society will try and make it seem- especially to women. You've no idea how annoying it is telling people about that decision and then them trying to convince you to reconsider, or saying you'll change your mind someday, or acting as if you're wrong and lesser for it. I've long since stopped talking to all the people that ever acted that way toward me about it and haven't felt a twinge of regret, change my mind once, or felt less of a woman for it, so goes to show what they know. I don't think you should worry too hard about it, though. You're still young, you'll have plenty of time down the road before you need to sit down and think over this kind of thing and make that decision. Got a lot of life ahead of you, you shouldn't rush it that much! Enjoying your youth is important, Arc knows I wish I hadn't wasted as much of mine as I did. And of course, correct that guess would be! I've only ever trained one Pokemon that isn't Ice-type, but I'm convinced that only a crazy person would say no to a goofy little Slowpoke crawling up to you wanting to be your friend. I never quite got around to visiting Galar- I'd have loved to meet Melony. I've made friends with just about every Ice-specialist on my travels! Suppose maybe someday still, I'm not totally decrepit yet after all! Galar's one of the only regions I've heard of without an Elite Four, which I do find somewhat fascinating. A lot of the champions workload beyond battle would rather frequently get shared between us, pretty much anything that it wasn't crucial he specifically tended to. Since we were also very prominent figures for the region I suppose it made sense to have us help out. Stressful just imagining having to take on the full amount of that solo instead of just helping with parts of it sometimes...
Oh yeah wait you're too old to know what inkay games is my bad
Oh, please, I’m only twenty-three.
[ he’s not old. don’t make that mistake again. ]
—💎
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mayra-quijotescx · 7 months ago
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excellent news! The Greek-American fusion place that's not too far from me had a $5 premade pint of their lemon sorbetto and joy has seeped back into my world
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fictionadventurer · 1 year ago
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I have a germ of a theory that good Christian fiction has stories that are less about shaving down your personality to meet some specific mold of what a good Christian looks like, and more about "how gloriously different are all the saints."
Not that the Christian life doesn't involve fighting against our own sinful nature and conforming ourselves to Christ-like behavior, but I think it makes for better, more realistic, and more universal stories when you also recognize that people have different gifts and flaws and they're going to be called to use their unique personalities to serve the kingdom of God in their own unique way, instead of assuming everyone has to conform themselves to a very specific (often secular-culturally based) image of good behavior. It makes for a much more vibrant story.
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any-other-fandom-blog · 1 year ago
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Whenever Spotify Wrapped releases, it reminds me of this project I've been thinking about for a while.
And now, The StoryGraph released its version of wrapped for the year (at the actual end of the year, as god intended) and I always think I read a lot less than I used to when I was younger.
Except...I still read on ao3. And I am, at heart, a stats nerd, (see me: nerding out about TSG graphs) so I've always wanted to analyse my ao3 reading history. I've seen people make their own version of ao3 wrapped, but I like having comprehensive stats, so instead of doing any of my actual coding work, I made my own version (with maybe too many stats and graphs according to my horrified non-coding friends I showed this to).
And I figured that there would be some folks out there who are as nerdy about this as I am and would appreciate it as well. So I made the code shareable and hopefully something that anyone can run.
So without further ado, here is my ao3 wrapped:
https://colab.research.google.com/drive/1DikTD0T9YjwPAL-Z3DTD8bdkM5fk_TS9?usp=sharing#scrollTo=cdaded40
Some things that my code can do:
scrape your data from Ao3 and organise it in a nice neat table you can download and keep
allow you to pick a time period
sample a random fic you read from that time period
look at the total number of fics you read, and what percentage of those have been deleted
look at how many works are on your 'Marked for Later' list and see information (top fandom and top characters) about them
show you graphs of the percentage of fics you read with each type of warning, rating, and ship type, as well as your ratio of completed works read
show you the last time you viewed a fic compared with the last time it was updated
the number of fics read over time (sorted by years, months or days depending on whether you are looking at all time, a certain year, or certain month respectively)
analyse the number of words you read and words read over time (similar to fics read over time)
identify your top 20 authors, fandoms, relationships, characters and tags
dynamically choose and plot the changes to your top 10 authors, fandoms, relationships, characters and tags over the time period (by years, months or days depending on the initial overview, similar to , read over time)
see how the rankings of your top 5 have changed from the previous time peroiod, and check the ranking of a specified author/fandom/ship/character/tag in that previous time period
So anyways, have fun!
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novella-november · 5 months ago
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Is this fanfic friendly? I feel like an outlier.
I guess this is my sign it's time to throw together a FAQ post to link to lol.
Yes, every event for this blog is fanfic friendly :D
Though as I mentioned on my Ominous October post, for events that include multiple short stories, I encourage everyone to flex their creativity and take one of their planned short story fanfics, and at least *attempt* to turn one of them into something entirely original; rebuilding a character and story from the ground up to stand on its own two legs is no easy feat, and that is what makes it so fun!
It really gets your creative gears turning, to make an "au of an existing material" to be something entirely original, and you can be pleasantly surprised about the things you come up with!
As a few people say, its not just a matter of "filing the serial numbers off" -- you have to add in just as much *or more* as what you take out when you are turning a fanfiction into something that is original and completely divorced from its original source material / inspiration, and that is a hard, but very rewarding challenge!
Obviously, this is not a requirement (there's no hard requirements for any of the challenges, other than no cheating, including no using AI),
but if you would like an extra challenge for the short story events and you're planning on doing entirely fan-fiction, I highly recommend trying it out at least once, and seeing where it leads you--
you may find yourself pleasantly surprised by what you find down that rabbit hole!
#replies#novella november#long rambly tags to follow lol#including anti royalist / anti billionaire shit#ominous october#this is what my novella november is going to be#something that WAS a huge earth-shattering fanfic AU#but before I even got past a WIP Oneshot I'd already realized that what I was planning was going to turn canon so far on its head it would#be unrecognizable and it would be much better off and more coherent if I made it entirely original#so now it is!#not only does this involve changing every single characters name#everyone is now a completely different species other than human because thats always fun#and of course we're also tackling all the issues that had annoyed me in omega verse fics since I was like 14 and liked the#creature aspects but hated the biological essentialism and misogny / caste systems#if your fantasy people have an enforced caste system you gotta actually treat that like the horror and systemic oppression it is#not just say 'biological = right' like dude what do you think people have been saying about real women this whole time????#people literally insist women are biologically inferior to men do you really think supporting that idea is going to make you sound#progressive just because your main character is a tomboy independant woman?#also like she lost all her independence as soon as she found a man to marry so uhhhhh#what happened to being ready and willing to hit the bricks if people kept talking down to you and condescending you for being a woman????#why did you go from independant badass tomboy to fainting damsel who spends all her time worrying about failing to produce an heir#so her husband can take power#instead of just straight up telling your husband#'hey I don't want to deal with the bullshit from your father how about we do the-#- socially acceptable thing and just go off to make our own independant settlement with some of the villagers who are on your side'#like your husband would literally be escstatic about this idea of finally getting out from under his dad's tyrannical thumb#and its more like way more than half the villagers would go with you not just a handful#theyve been sick of the kings shit for years and only your husband's potential rise to rule kept them in check#cus he actually cares about the villagers and goes among them#while still clearly having some biases to work through when it comes to class and gender equality
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medicinemane · 4 months ago
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At least I could disable the suggestions but just... I'm sick of it, I'm sick of companies trying to think for me
I'd rather be miserable but doing shit my own way than placid and glass eyed and just taking whatever companies tell me to
Like... literally just asking what I get out of writing a post on tumblr... zero suggestions, just letting me say whatever dumb stuff comes to my head
#the problem is that doing things my way is actually working well; it's just really slow and it's coming from a bad starting point#everything that makes me miserable was even more miserable growing up#you maybe see me and think that I'm doing really horribly; and that may be true; but I'm also truthfully at my peak right now#and frankly as much as I worry about it A LOT; I'm kinda still on the rise in a lot of ways#...I just take way too long to do things; I want to be quicker because a lot of this stuff isn't... it's not being slow and steady#it's being depressed and having trouble working on shit#but... when I do stuff my way the end result tends to be strong#I got a house in 2019 for instance... like in that economy; I feel like that counts as a pretty high roll outcome; you know?#the parts of my life I hate are all... it's like Marley in the Christmas Carol; I've got all these chains around me#and... about 80% of those chains are just my mom or my mom's choices... she blows through so much money all the time#it makes me want to die#but all that shit... it's the past haunting me and drowning me#but shit's better than it was and... I have more friends now that I did in the past; I'm closer to making money than I've been in the past#(part of it is that I kinda want to get shit stabilized in the household; be doing stuff like cooking before I try and sell shit)#(also understand that everyone in high school liked me... we just never saw each other outside of school)#(so it was a situation where I had 'friends'; by that standard everyone at school was a friend)#(but I didn't have a single person I was close with and I was totally isolated in a crowd)#(friend is just a word in english that has to cover a really really wide range of relationships)#(but these days I do have actual friends... just a shame none of us live in the same town... or even state; you know?)#(I like all the people I went to high school with; they all cared a lot and were very bad at it)#(couldn't figure out that like... just give me some company; that's a good 80% of what I'm lacking)#(...I think part of it was they were all stoners and I wasn't; so they felt like... eh... like something something)#(and when I say all stoners I mean... I think... easily 80% of the school; probably 90% and maybe higher were all stoners)#(it uh... was not an easy thing for the staff; cause they obviously all knew; but... figuring out how to best handle it)#(like hell; I wouldn't want to deal with that)#(also like 95% were smokers... you have to understand that most of these kids were rich kids)#(off the top of my head I can only think of 2 other kids who were poor... just... uh...)#(if I named the city the school was in; you'd probably be like 'oh... makes sense')#(I liked everyone there; everyone liked me... just... they were very bad at just basic stuff like spending time together)#(eh... you don't need to hear more)
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malachitezmeyka · 1 year ago
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It's that "spend hours sobbing my eyes out in bed for several reasons, including but not limited to the fact tomorrow is Monday, the fact my social battery has been completely drained and won't recover anytime soon, the fact my landlady is due to show up tomorrow evening and will likely piss me off again, the fact I've had the urge to write since Friday and ended up not writing even a single fucking word, the fact exam pressure keeps rising and I still don't know what to do with my life after I'm done with school, and the fact I'm both completely overwhelmed and so terribly lonely at the same time" kind of Sunday evenings
#I'm so fucking exhausted. both mentally and emotionally#I spent the night at my grandma's and then my friend came over and spent the night the following day#and I don't count it as a day off unless I don't go anywhere or see anyone#so you could say I didn't really have a weekend#idk how I'll go to school tomorrow. I think even one person talking to me would make me fucking explode#and yet. despite all that. I feel completely alone#because no one I know irl can provide me with the comfort I so desperately need#spending time with people is all a big distraction from my depressive thoughts#and the second everyone leaves.. I feel more alone than ever. so completely and utterly lonely#I try to fill the void with my imagination. lose myself in my oc verse. and it helps sometimes#but when I'm not feeling particularly inspired or can't some up with anything good... I just end up feeling worse than I did before#everything I do is to distract myself from my mind because the second I'm left alone with my thoughts..#they go to a very dark place very quickly#like now. when my wrists itch and I can't stop crying and know full well that I'll go to bed in a few hours wishing to never wake up#and I'm left with nothing but a gaping hole in my chest. aching for arms to fall into and a shoulder to cry on#despite knowing it's not something I'll ever have#so I grit my teeth and bear it and hold on. for whatever reason#I don't know why I haven't give up yet. it's all arbitrary reasons like 'my friends would be sad if I was gone'#even in matters like these all I end up worrying about is what other people would think. not my own feelings#well. nobody has anything to worry about concerning me anyway. I'm too much of a coward to do anything#if I wasn't I wouldn't have lived to see my 14th birthday#and yet 4 years later I'm still here. wishing for an instantaneous way out that didn't involve me raising a hand against myself#because I really don't know how long I'll be able to take all this for. I don't have much left in me#I'm holding on by a thread. one too close to snapping. I'm scared of how few reasons I can come up with to keep going#I don't see a future ahead of myself. no college or uni or job or relationship or anything that might be worth staying around for#any attempts to imagine what life would be like after graduation are just.. dark and bleak and empty#I haven't got a single clue what I'm going to end up doing. maybe that's why I see so little worth in trying to figure it out#nothing in this world will make me truly happy. I don't have a future#and if I don't have a future... I don't have any reasons to stick around any further#if only I wasn't so much of a coward
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dan-crimes · 1 year ago
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Mfs can't understand a blunt mf they always gotta try and read between the lines or straight up deny the words you're saying and deny how you feel
#I just woke up so Imma overshare without worrying abt it lmao#like yeah people should be wary there are some messed up people out there but like#I'm being straight up with you I do not have the energy to keep up a lie and I just think it is much easier to have clear communication#people just instantly assume that I'm up to something or not being sincere they don't even give me a chance#bcuz if they did they would instantly be able to tell that I am just like that and I am being as straight up as I possibly can#people just aren't use to that ig#¯\_(ツ)_/¯ that's why I just assume everyone is telling the truth to me and if they did lie my trust in them would break thru those lies#they will eventually tell me the truth if they feel they can trust me and if they don't then that is their business#if someone spends all their time formulating lies for me then that is /their/ energy wasted. not mine lmao#just like let go bro it ain't a big deal to just say stuff straight up you just gotta figure out the right ways to say stuff is all#ya just gotta be real with urself and sometimes shit it confusing af and that is normal brains tend to just fuck around#situations aren't black and white so you might seem hypocritical but again that's life#the best you can do is show how you feel thru actions when words fail you#and people might not understand you but at least you know how you are and you either accept it or make efforts to get better#~.~ me when I get too into it listen I got a little sibling who doesn't understand lots of stuff like I'm trying to teach them things#so I kinda go into this mode a lot of just like trying to explain stuff mostly abt understanding emotions and that other people feel things#I also talk abt this stuff with my other sibling but they are older so it's usually a lot of trying to figure out brain stuff#and trying to come to an understand etc etc I like to talk about these types of things and I might not have all the answer but like#I try. it doesn't work for everyone but hopefully it can at least help people discover what DOES help them#like it might seem like I value honesty a lot but I honestly don't care if people lie to me that is their business ✌️😋#like it only bothers me when it's obvious like Oh I didn't put that dish there I put it somewhere else Well buddy ur the only other person#who else did it or like Oh I didn't say anything I didn't say a word and it's like Buddy I know you did it just own up it's over with#people lie a lot in an attempt to avoid getting in trouble and specifically people getting angry at them but like I'm not the type to argue#I'm not gonna get mad and if I do I'll cool down pretty easily as long as we actually talk things out but like I don't get mad often#I don't really mind most things like if you talk shit behind my back that's not my business lmao just goes to show ur own character#like so many things are not my problem and simply show ur own judge of character#if you don't like me simply don't talk to me 😌 it's really not a big deal I don't mind at all#anyway I ramble... I could likely ramble more but I assume Imma run outta tag space soon
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