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headinthxclouds · 5 months ago

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Heartbreak is one thing, my egos another || A Tyler and Noelle thing

He sauntered out the jail with such a cockiness, such a sure of himself smirk on his face that if the guards had had any sense they would have turned him around and marched him right back inside. Instead, Noelle watched as Tyler made his way toward the car she was perched on the hood of.

“How’d you get out?”

“I have friends in low places.”

“Why didn’t you call Elliott?”

“Who do you think was the friend?”

It was Noelle’s turn to smirk as Ty stopped, his legs pressed to her. “Besides, he can barely drive.” She pushed at his chest and slid off the hood of the car. He was dirty, but in a rugged way that he always pulled off. His blonde hair shaggy and his clothes, the same from when he got picked, smelled like stale beer and cigarettes. On anyone else it would’ve disgusted her, but Tyler.. It made him even more appealing. Despite it being her car, Noelle threw the keys at him. “Let’s go before they change their mind.” He caught them with ease, giving a sarcastic bow before getting in the driver’s seat.

It had been a cheap thing he had gotten picked up on. A raided party, a cop recognized him, disturbing the peace was an easy grab and it was even easier for Ty to get out of, but still. The whole thing had been incredibly annoying. Noelle had been there with him, of course, so had the others. She helped them make a get away and when the cops had come up to her, it was clear that Noelle Slater, Martin Slater’s daughter, wasn’t going anywhere. And while she could talk herself out of the situation, she wasn’t having the same luck with Ty. He could’ve left, but he let them take him in. She’d feel just guilty enough that she’d post his bail and come pick him up. Pathetic, sure, but it had worked like a charm.

Noelle rolled the windows down, letting the sticky summer air take away some of the grime from the jail. Her hair blew over her shoulder as Tyler peeled out of the parking lot and onto the freeway. She closed her eyes and let the breeze cool her while they drove, a soft smile on her face.

Tyler looked over at her to say something and his words caught in his throat. She had to know what she looked like, what seeing her like this did to him. She had to, she was too smart for all this to be an accident. He must have stared one moment too long because Noelle lolled her head to the side and opened her eyes. “How’s the road?” Tyler swore silently to himself. “I’m starving, we’re stopping for food.” and he pulled off at the nearest diner, practically causing them whiplash to pull into a parking spot. He just needed to get out of the car.

Noelle was stretching when Tyler leaned on the roof of her car to look over at her. “Where did you tell everyone you were going today?” There was no way it was to come pick him up, Addie at the very least would never had missed an opportunity to make fun of him coming out of jail. Noelle looked over the roof of the car at him, “Gynecologist appointment.” she said simply earning her a laugh and a shake of the head from Tyler. “That’s one way to get me by yourself.” Earning him an eyeroll from Noelle, “Let’s get you food, you’re getting delirious.”

The pair walked into a diner that looked like it came out of a TV show from the 50s. Peeling red booths around w dinow lined room, a bar with stools sitting at the front. Through a door off to the side of the bar went a back area that looked like a dive bar. Noelle felt like she was in that one Beyonce music video and it was thrilling. Everything with Tyler was thrilling. There was a sense of danger, a sense of rebellion that she absolutely loved flirting with. It was what had gotten her in trouble in the first place with him and would eventually be her undoing. She was positive Tyler knew it too, he had to. And it was just as fun for him as it was for her.

She looked at the menu that took up half the table Tyler looked at her. “Can’t remember what I look like after a day and a half? You may want to get that looked at.” He shook his head and looked down at his own menu. “I’m just trying to figure out why you came to get me.”

“You called me, remember?”

“And since when do you come when you’re called?”

Noelle felt her cheeks flush and deeply, deeply hoped that her summer tan was enough to hide it. The waitress that came over to take their order was her saving grace. “Pancakes please, a side of fruit and a coffee.” She didn’t hear Tyler’s order, she was too busy trying to steady her heartbeat back down to it’s average pace.

Tyler looked back across the table at her and took a sip of his water. The straw stayed against his lips as he looked at her. He didn’t need powers to see he had gotten under her skin just a little bit and he relished that. It was a game they were constantly at and being able to tell when he, with out a doubt, gained a point on her was part of the reason he wouldn’t end it. It was too fun.

“Why’d you call me?” Noelle asked, calm and collected, getting back on topic. looking Ty right in the eye. Whatever his answer was, it wouldn’t rattle her. She didn’t know why she wanted the dangerous answer to be the one she heard. Tyler held her gaze, he was one of the few who would, “You know why.”

“I want you to say it.”

But he would never say it and neither would she. Noelle learned that her freshman year when he broke her heart and she had been naive enough to let him do it. Tyler studied her and then just leaned back in the booth as casually as if he would’ve told her the sky was blue. “I figured you owed me after letting me get picked up like that. Daddy’s power couldn’t save everyone?” Before she could point out how unfair that was, Tyler added on ��or maybe it was just a very detailed plan to spend a whole day with me away from everyone’s eyes?”

Two points Tyler.

Noelle just shook her head, “While I would do plenty to get you alone, that’s one step too far and you’re the one who suggested to make this a day by tacking on food.” She pointed out as the waitress brought out their orders. Tyler hadn’t heard anything after her first sentence.

One point Noelle.

The two ate in silence for a little while, both far hungrier than either of them realized when they entered the diner. Both thought about the other. Noelle about how all of this was sure to embarrass her if she kept it up and Tyler about what exactly she would do to get him alone.

The music coming out of the bar in the back finally switched to something of the past three decades and the caught each others eyes mid bite. Noelle flushed, Tyler grinned. “Dance with me?” He reached out his hand to help her out of the booth and Noelle only thought for a moment or two if it was worth it before taking it.

They ran to the incredibly empty and very sticky back bar and Tyler took her by her waist. The two danced and Tyler twirled Noelle around, matching carefree grins on their faces. He pulled her into him and put an arm around her tightly. Noelle looked up at him, blue meeting purple, shining bright in this dark dingey room.

“Don’t embarrass me.” repeated in Noelle’s head, inbetween plenty of other less G rated thoughts

Tyler looked down at her with a knowing, cocky smile on his face.

Motherfucker.

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storieswithmit · 7 months ago

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The End of an Era: the Mit MJ Rips Story

Today marks the end of an era in my life. I decided to finally pull the plug on my rap career. I decided to make the jump from rapper to just a writer. I still love music dearly. I hope my words inspire the next generation of writers.

I wrote this update video years ago. Then, I got the music bug several more times. Now, I am officially putting this out with a more definite this is the end. I went on debating back and forth about whether I should quit. With the aid of prayer and reflection, I decided I am a poet not a rapper. I will share my poetry within my prose. I also made the decision to delete everything on YouTube.

The reason behind deleting everything, even the not music related videos, is that I want to add on to the stories I had published. I am going to be focusing on remaking my older work and finding a good platform to share my written works.

The transition of being a rapper to just focusing on the writing part has been on my mind lately. Thinking over if my words would mean more if I didn't have a beat. My rhythm was the biggest obstacle in making a good song. I had zero skill on the music front. I tried singing but I don't have the voice for that. I came to the realization that maybe music isn't my thing.

I decided today to drop the name Mit MJ Rips. The name I created in high school. I have been writing music ever since under the alter ego of a born-again Catholic. My music reflected my life. I wrote about heartbreak, religion, and other personal things.

Mit MJ Rips is going to be a character instead of a pseudonym. I am going to post under the name of Timothy Morgan from now on.

One of the first tracks I made under the name Mit would be "New Life." This is how it went.

New Life

Intro

I was only dreaming

Attempted murders…

Tim

This intro started on a beat I found online. I decided to remake the intro when I made my own beat for the song.

Had an inner struggle with my foe Dim

Enter muggle swift a poe named thou Rex

I had a battle with my past-self Tim

Left me confused rattled with a complex

Dim Tim was my first rap name. This song kicks off the change that came with ending Dim and beginning Mit.

So someone told me my new name

I’m done it’s a joke just a game

No, the voice whispered trust me lame

Saw myself broken at the knees

With the words spoken I grabbed beads

He told me to pray the Rosary

Now holding them it got less scary

I started with the Apostles Creed

As I prayed my old wounds did not bleed

The chains fell now I could succeed

No longer held down I will praise

Hoping that one day I would raise

The Rosary really did help me when deciding to change from Dim to Mit. I was stuck in a cycle of pessimism and hate. Finally saying no to that opened up a gallon of inspiration. I would write over a thousand songs under Mit. A number of which are going to inspire new short stories when I get to them.

The Chains of sin broke

The Son always here

With the Words he spoken

No reason to fear

Yeah I have no reason to fear

The Chains of sin were broken

The Son always here

With the Words he spoken

I have no reason to fear

I opened a Bible to Paul

I learn how I was a close call

From spiritual libel flip the table

The Holy Spirit’s why I am Abel

Inside I’m still Cain

Who would kill in vain?

Who is half insane?

Now that I’m over one little hiccup

Maybe I need a new name like Jacob

Maybe Mit MJ Rips

How it flows from the lips

I took much inspiration from the Bible. I thought that my new name should be connected like when Old Testament people and even a few New Testament figures got a name change. God showed me the light and I changed my whole personality at the time.

Cause my whole life was backwards

This line is a reference to how Mit is Tim backwards.

I admit through his new words

And broken from old goat herds

MJ'll live another day

All the way to Judgment Day

So now I struggled with seven demons

I have toggled being an even role model

With my odd past grievances deepens

With different lens no mask or bottle

I only get one chance in life

So why forget one dance in strife

I’ll be here playing with a fife

Rocking with the drummer boy

Knocking with my summer joy

So will anyone answer?

Fulfill what was done dancer

The Almighty Lord has reconcile

But they say go forth in your style

One mile no I will go two while

I proclaim His Name through my work

I will not be same its change clerk

Even though I die I will live

No eye for an eye please forgive

Sin held me back got me off track

Shout out to Kendrick

Because I love Myself

The name is attached to over a thousand songs I recorded in the past. Sometimes, I wish I still had all those different tracks. I deleted all my music from the internet and my hard drive. I still have the lyrics which I will feature in my writings in the forms of poems.

As an example, here is a poem I wrote called "I Quit Rap"

I feel I cannot ride a beat

I feel tired of being a cheat

I work the syllables but can't unite

My last two albums ended it

Diamond and Complete Honesty 5

That's it no more

I quit like Mankind

I didn't want to say it

But someone forced me

This is referencing the infamous I quit match between the Rock and Mankind. Basically, the match ended when The Rock took a sound bite of Mankind saying I Quit from an earlier promo.

All the negative reaction

I switched to focus on the words

That is why I am spoken word artist

Forget the beat just put the words right

I have more freedom

I like rap and hip hop

But this will be the last drop

Critics are the enemy to art

But I have played my part

The old albums will stay

But I will write to this day

Welcome to my therapy session

Obsession is my lesson

I had no rhythm but lots of poetry

One of many. Are critics the enemy

I listen to Tech N9ne

And that one line

Hoping you gobble a jimmy and die

Listening to it the first time I won't lie

I feel the same about my music

Never got around to make a classic

Tech N9ne was a great inspiration, and I love the song fragile, which I interpolated in this poem.

This song I wrote to be on a spoken word album called Therapy. Therapy was all about what I dealt with during therapy. That project never saw the light of day. Maybe, I will write something using the idea of therapy. This is confirmation of the fact that I quit rap.

I created this as a poem at first. The track got reworked into a rap, which appeared on "From a School Kid to Artist." This was a visual extended play that followed the story of me quitting rap. I returned to rap in freshman year.

This means a lot to me to quit music. I loved it for a long time. Writing was already my favorite part of the process. I think my work would be better if I didn't present it as a rap and rather poetry.

I am working on a ton of short stories, novels, novellas, and poetry. I may need some time to think over all these things in my head before posting.

With the new reinvention of my channel, I am going to work on older work and bring it up to my newer standards. I might add to existing stories.

It is going to be fun, which is all I really care about. Music hasn't been fun in a while. I have so many great ideas and am ready to make art out of art.

I don't know what I am going to post first, but I am happy to share as much as possible.

Timothy Morgan is the name of my channel now. Real name, no gimmicks.

#writerscommunity #writerscorner #writing

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jjungkookislife · 3 years ago

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Quarterly Fic Recs 2021 #2

Hello! I’m back with another rec list! Here are fics I’ve read, loved and thoroughly enjoyed in the second quarter of 2021! They are all very wonderful fics! Each story has its own genre, warnings (and are mostly 18+), so please take that into consideration before reading. If any authors would like me to untag them, please let me know. Enjoy!

Yoongi

before i leave you @hollyhomburg

summary: Yoongi Disappears- leaving behind a shattered pack. 8 months later, Jimin finds Yoongi in an H-mart of all places.

Hoseok

heart-on @junghelioseok

summary: my boss is always telling me how perfect her son would be for me and she promises he’s coming to the next holiday party and don’t worry he’s heard all about me too and ALSO there’s this dude i slept with once a couple of months ago and sometimes he still sends me dick pics when i ask him to at 3 in the morning cause seriously dude’s got a good dick

Jungkook

charmolypi @njssi

summary: Work and pleasure should never be combined — or so the saying goes. But you were never really one to follow the rules in their entirety and neither were the ones around you. Love, lust, interest. Five people. In the workplace. What could go wrong? Everyone just wants to get something, after all.

when you least expect it @johobi

summary: You’re in love with your childhood friend, Taehyung. The problem is, you treasure your friendship with him far too much to ever risk losing it. Oh, and he’s quite the Casanova. At your wits’ end with feelings you can no longer hide as diligently as you once did, you ask him to set you up with someone, anyone, in a last ditch attempt to avoid a heartbreaking conversation.

wherever there is you @jeonstudios

summary: you’ve been drinking, haven’t you?

instant gratification @dovechim

fuckboi@jungkook x cheerleader!reader

haze @yyooni

summary: So you’ve fucked the biggest fuck boy on campus. It’s a one and done. One night stand. A wham bam thank you ma’am. So why does it happen again?

OT7/Multiple Members

because i’m yours @minniepetals

summary: you should have known they’d never let you go after gathering the courage to ask for a kiss

blazed @ironicarmy

summary: Your friends try to cheer you up during Christmastime, but things go south once Hoseok appears with a mysterious brown bag.

Seokjin

one step @cutechim

summary: attending an ex’s wedding is never easy, but you might just have the perfect remedy—if you can pluck up the courage to take it.

platonic @joheunsaram

summary: Finding a new method for stress relief, you rope in your bestfriend/fwb to try it out with you.

show me yours and i’ll show you mine @ktheist

summary: you’re a horny bunny yet kim seokjin always seems to manage to slide out of your grasps like a fox every time.

Yoongi

before i leave you pt. 7 @/hollyhomburg

summary: Pack omega kim Seokjin knows how to handle things when they go south (or alternatively you get triggered, Yoongi has a panic attack, and it’s a good thing the pack is there to help)

Hoseok

risky business @yoonjinkooked

summary: The person who invented smart glass office walls knew what they were doing. Your secretary fucks you stupid in the office.

snapshot @xjoonchildx

summary: after a day at the beach, hoseok has some surprises in store for his longtime love

keep me warm @ppersonna

summary: camping is always a great time when you’re with your friends, but even better with your boyfriend, hoseok.

it’s you @jinpanman

summary: An accidental confession throws your years-long friendship with Hoseok into disarray.

Namjoon

love bytes @stutterfly

summary: It’s been a year since you first met Kim Namjoon, the passionate, talented English professor at the local campus. He’s always been clumsy and aloof, but he’s on a whole new level in terms of “technologically incapable.” One call to IT was all it took to pull you into his life, and with it a whole string of friendships full of flirtatious banter and undying support.

Your dating situation has been drier than the Sahara for years now, and you’ve wasted too many lonely nights drinking alone, so you try your hand at Tinder. But you’re not getting any bites. When the group finds out, they are more than willing to help–even Namjoon, though he finds it increasingly difficult to deny that he’s hopelessly smitten. You consider their opinions on potential Tinder dates while fighting off feelings you never knew were brewing for the caring soul who becomes the home you never had.

out of my league @/ppersona

summary: Kim Namjoon was never supposed to find out about your years-long hopeless crush on him. And he most definitely was not supposed to find out about it in front of all your coworkers in a company-wide meeting.

so this is love @jinpanman

summary: “So this is the miracle that I’ve been dreaming of. So this is love.”

problem solved @sugasbabiie

summary: Namjoon helps you with more than math problems tonight.

love is @hxseok-honee

summary: they say that love is supposed to transcend time and space and that it knows no limits. but putting an ocean and thousands of miles between two people won’t make things any easier, will it?

Jimin

potent pink @dntaewithluv

summary: The first time you see Park Jimin you’re instantly entranced by him. And it turns out he lives in the apartment next to the one you’re moving into, so even better he’s your hot neighbor. When the previous tenant confesses to you that he was the best hook up she ever had, you’re that much more intrigued. The first time you meet him, however, you’re deciding immediately that you hate him and want to stay as far away from him as possible. Jimin is determined to be a constant in your life though, and he definitely is that. Both a constant flirt and a constant pain in your ass. Is a ruined second impression enough to prevent you from ever giving him a second chance?

Taehyung

hush, yeah? @kithtaehyung

summary: the innocent accident that started it all

unfinished business @/dntaewithluv

summary: Besides wanting to catch up with some old friends, there’s only one reason you found yourself agreeing to attend your 10 year high school reunion. The boy you were in love with back then is going to be there, and you’re determined to finally make your move. Except, unfortunately, it turns out that Kim Seokjin is very much happily married. Kim Taehyung, however, is very much single and feels like he has something to prove to you after you turned him down all those years ago. One night is all it takes to make you realize you made the biggest mistake of your life.

under the covers @jessikahathaway

spy!au

darling @bloomsuga

summary: “go to sleep, darling.”

as endless as the stars ^

summary: he waited 160 years to meet you again, and now that he has, he’s not letting go. or: “i love you as deep as the ocean and as endless as the stars”

dirty dishes @jaysdimples

summary: when your boyfriend can’t seem to keep his hands to himself so he stirs up a little trouble in the kitchen while everyone else is a few feet away in the next room

devotion @/sweetbunnykook

summary: You and Taehyung were inseparable once. When you come back to your hometown after three years, fate pulls you back to him. And this time, Taehyung won’t ever keep his eyes off of you.

Jungkook

commercial break; twelve @1kook

summary: Anyway, if it was up to Jungkook, Kim Doyeon would not be a member of the Engagement Ring Committee.

tease @adonis-koo

summary:You came with the intentions of your best friend landing a job as a stripper. You never meant to catch the eyes of the king stripper of the establishment- Jeon Jungkook, yourself. With what was supposed to be a harmless way of paying off college debt faster you find yourself falling into a very odd and passionate relationship with your new mentor. Between infidelity, passion and jealousy there’s never a dull moment at Cherry Bomb.

jock!jk @angelguk

summary: going raw with jock jk

evolution of a lover’s heart @jeonstudios

summary: the rules are simple: first one to take the virginity wins.

euphoria @btssavedmylifeblr

summary: At the end of your life, you are given one day to live again with the man you loved. A lifetime’s love story told in a single day.

idealizations concerning real life relations @venusiangguk

summary: jungkook loves to be loved, but he doesn’t love in return.

relax @itsbuffsanta

summary: jk is antsy after the concert, so you help him relax.

employee of the month @/dntaewithluv

summary: Sometimes it truly amazes you how much of an idiot your boyfriend can be. But you also find it impossible to say no to him. Even when it involves letting him fuck you at his work on the same day that he gets awarded employee of the month…

ego 08 @suga-kookiemonster

summary: what’s a girl to do when her sweet, innocent baby lab partner isn’t quite so sweet and innocent? well, he’s a grown-ass man, and you’re about to learn that the hard way.

only you 10 @sweetbunnykook

summary: Jeon Jungkook, your wedding photographer, helps you escape on your big day upon learning about a secret your groom-to-be kept hidden. You soon fall for this young, passionate photographer. However, you underestimated just how much he was willing to reciprocate that love. Maybe, you think, he’s loving you just a little too much.

lunchbox lovers @jiminrings

stem major!koo x cold senior!y/n

crunchyroll & rail @/1kook

summary: Never mind the fact you really like Sailor Moon, or that you really want to pay attention to every little detail; the moment becomes Jungkook and his big smile and his red cheeks and the tiny box he produces from within his pocket.

only for you @jikookiekosmos

summary: It’s the night before your wedding and you should be happy…but a fight with your fiancé leaves you second guessing everything. A visit from the blue-haired boy of your dreams is just what you need to make it right.

lillies @dewykth

summary: “… white lines, pretty baby, tattoos, don’t know what they mean, they’re special just for you…”

bluekooberry @kimtaehyunq

summary: Your adoring boyfriend, Jungkook, surprises you with a brand new hairstyle before your trip to visit him for the weekend. He’s excited to see you, feed you, and give you exactly what you want.

bad reputation @noteguk

summary: in which you have to deal with some strange emotions for the first time.

not yet @bratkook

summary: jungkook feels the pang of guilt in his gut when you spot your recent ex out with his new girl, and what better way to make the jerk hurt than to have him believe you were now dating him, the neighbor he had been insecure about your whole relationship

incoming: elite chatboy @kookingtae

summary: welcome to Elite Chatroom, a sex chat company with a wide variety of services such as text messaging, phone call, and video chat. you signed up online for the most basic text service plan not knowing what to expect, but you certainly didn’t think you’d end up actually liking the man behind the screen.

ineffable @euphoria-vmin7

summary: your best friend Jeon Jeongguk has always been amazing and deserved the best, so you’ve hid your love for him. But unbeknowsnt to you, there may be feelings that could change everything between you two…

touch @gardentulips

summary: when you tease and please one another

Multiple Members

friendly fire @kpopfanfictrash

summary: The dynamic: Hoseok; your friend and previous fuck buddy. Jungkook; Hoseok’s roommate and subject of your massive crush. The scene: determined not to drunk-gush about your crush any more (to his face), you decide to seclude yourself from all campus parties. Until, of course, Hoseok guilts you into a favor. Things spiral from there.

the boys are back in town @/dntaewithluv

summary: Getting stood up by your date definitely hadn’t been on your agenda for the evening. Also definitely not on your agenda: bumping into Park Jimin and Jeon Jungkook. Together. On the same exact night. It’s been a while since you’ve seen your two best friends, as well as lovers on multiple occasions, from your high school and college days. A chance meeting, some drinks, and a trip down memory lane is all it takes to reignite the attraction between the three of you. Old habits die hard, but these two? They just might be the death of you.

ruin you @taegularities

summary: “His eyes hold unfathomable darkness that lures you in, captures your very soul, steals any air you are trying to draw. And you know without a doubt that you’re on the path to utter and irrevocable ruination.”

ruin you (once more) ^

summary: Taehyung and Jungkook can’t keep their hands off you. Not even in the elevator.

Seokjin

kairos @luffles424

summary: When your financial aid falls through for your last year of school, you fear you’ll have to drop out and postpone your degree. Until Taehyung gives you a suggestion to make a lot of money, quick. His idea can’t possibly end well, can it?

appetence @luffles424

summary: appetence (n.) - an eager desire, an instinctive inclination; an attraction or a natural bondIt’s time for Seokjin’s rut. Are either of you prepared for this step?

tiny lights, tiny lies @ggukcangetit

summary: you aren’t sure when exactly your best friend’s brother went from being an oddly annoying set of broad shoulders to the shoulders you frequently fell asleep against.

Yoongi

the little things @kimtaehyunq

summary: When the present isn’t exactly enough for you right now, Yoongi is here for you through it all. He makes sure you know you aren’t alone and that it’s ok to feel alone.

cyberslut @kimnjss

summary: he has no idea who you are… up front, you’re sweet and innocent - but in reality you’re the exact opposite. running your own nsfw account, where your favorite topic is his hands.

yoongi drabble @joonsgalore

life guard au

Hoseok

benefits @cutechim

summary: you and hoseok have taken the ‘friends’ out of friends with benefits, but exclusivity has its own perks.

Namjoon

namjoon drabble @lovetrivia

summary: You’re a hot girl on Twitch and Namjoon is an absolute simp.

Jimin

baby fever @writtenwhalien

summary: Jimin wants another baby, and much to your delight, he’s determined to give you one.

jimin drabble @/1kook

best friend au

small hands jimin drabble @lavishedinjimin

established relationship au

silk and lace @sunshyngal

summary: Min Nara is the newly dumped fiance to the Crown prince of Korea, Park Jimin. She’s not overtly upset , because at least now she can live her life without the pressure of the monarchy hanging over her head. Besides , Nara has a very dirty little secret. While she spends the day as the perfect high society girl with an impeccable pedigree , her nights are filled with lacy lingerie and webcams. Ignored by the man she’s meant to marry, she revels in the greedy lust of strangers on the internet. It’s her way of saying ‘fuck you’ to a system that sees her as nothing but a toy, molded for the future King. Park Jimin doesn’t know the first thing about his supposed fiancee. And he has no intention of learning either. He knows just what debutante girls are like and he has no patience for the kind. Besides, his girlfriend of three years, the elegant and independent Irene is everything he would ever want in a wife . Or is she?Because in the secrecy of his office , after the day’s work is done , Park Jimin has a very scintillating vice that he likes to indulge in : the beautiful camgirl who calls herself the Temptress. Jimin can’t get enough of the girl’s lush thighs wrapped in silk, the pretty pink of her nipples in see through bralettes and the glittering temptation of the jeweled plugs she likes to stuff herself full with.Jimin thinks she embodies everything he can never allow himself to have as a Prince : filth, sin and decadence , all wrapped up in Silk and Lace.

Taehyung

nip it in the bud @opaljm

summary: You’re not sure how you ended up here, but maybe a shitty ex and a horrible breakup had a hand in what placed you in front of the tattoo parlor. It was already a nerve-wracking experience, but what you never expected was seeing that the owner and artist giving you nipple piercings was your older brother’s best friend you hadn’t seen in ages. to make things even worse, he got fucking hotter.

taehyung drabble @joonsgalore

sugar daddy au

peanut @jungxk

summary: the making of peanut.

Jungkook

pretty kitty @venusiangguk

summary: you’re jk’s baby, his toy, and now his pretty little pet.

heavy metal @hisunshiine

summary: You come home from a trip to find your fuckbuddy has a… hole-y surprise.

devour @bloomsuga

summary: my sweet angel… i am going to devour you

grain of sand @jungkookiebus

summary: Blind since the age of 18 from a genetic disorder, Jungkook walked through life as if he never lost it, but on one fateful day seven years ago he literally almost runs into you. He fell in love nearly immediately. Fast forward to the present and it’s just another day in your quiet life with him by your side.

under the oak tree @mingoyeob

summary: as the eldest daughter of a duke, it’s your duty to marry at your father’s will. yet you didn’t expect to be marrying jeon jungkook, a knight of low status, especially when he departs for an expedition without another word after your first night. when he comes back three years later, this time as a renowned hero, how will you be able to face him and how will things change between you and your new husband?

jungkook drabble @1kook

dilf!jk

commercial break: thirteen ^

summary: Because for as much shit as you let him get away with, Jungkook is certain you’ll draw the line today.

sh. @wwilloww

summary: How could you say no to a month away in the mountains with your friends after six months of grueling quarantine?

jungkook drabble @lavishedinjimin

daddy!jk

OT7/Multiple Members

the end @jimlingss

summary: It’s been a habit of yours to vent in the form of love letters. There’s six in total. They’re kept secret, hidden in your closet. But on your 30th birthday, what you least expect is for each letter to become reality. All done by the whacky ghost of Christmas future trying to grant your birthday wish.

#jjungkookislife fic recs #jjungkookislife fic recs masterlist #fic recs #fic recs masterlist

133 notes · View notes

jaesqueso · 4 years ago

Text

The Bachelorette: NCT edition - Ep. 1

The season of love is finally here! An interactive series where you’ll get to choose who goes home each week and ultimately who Y/N chooses in the end!

pairing: nct(ot23) x fem!reader

summary: The candidates arrive to the mansion and meet the bachelorette. On the cocktail party they have a chance to get to know each other better until the rose ceremony arrives and the first bachelors are sent back home.

word count: 6,208

warnings: none :)

☽ ・・・・・ ☾

Once upon a time there was a beautiful young bachelorette searching for the man of her dreams and 23 men trying to prove they’re the one. Y/N will be calling the shots in hopes that one of them will become her husband.

Tonight begins the exciting new season of the bachelorette and when 23 single guys fight for the heart of an amazing woman there’s bound to be trouble.

23 men begin and each week egos will be shattered as Y/N searches for the man who’ll ultimately become her husband.

Will she find true love? Will she propose? And if she does, will the man of her dreams say yes?

Find out on the bachelorette!

“Hi, I’m Chris Harrison and welcome to the Bachelorette.” The host introduces himself while walking around the mansion where the show will unfold. “Tonight a woman will be handing out roses and choosing from 23 men and that lucky one lady is our very own Y/N. You don’t often hear of 23 men lining up to get married but they’re here and each of them are hoping, several weeks from now, they might be the last one standing and that Y/N will become their wife. Later this evening we’ll meet these 23 bachelors but for now let’s get to know our bachelorette.”

“Y/N has always been an amazing daughter, since she was a kid.” Your mother says. “She always carries her bright spirit with her everywhere she goes.”

“She’s very kind and always cares about other people,” your best friend Areum comments, “sometimes even more than herself!”

“I love helping people so why not make my life around it?” You speak with a smile on your face.

“Y/N was always a very active kid, involved in all the clubs she could get in school and had a lot of friends.” Your father states. “When she decided to work on charity we just knew it was the right thing for her.”

But why hasn’t this perfect women found the perfect man?

“I want to find Mr. Right, I want to find him!” Your tone is hopeful. ”I have searched for forever. I want to know that it’s right and I just haven’t come across that yet. I have dreamt about my wedding since a was a little girl but work takes its toll on me and it’s hard to find time to connect with people in a romantic way.”

With 23 guys competing for her, our bachelorette’s dreams just might come true!

“I think my prince charming is here, I just have to find him.”

“Here she is, our bachelorette!” Chris announces.

A limo arrives at the mansion. As it stops, the drives opens the door and you come out shining in a beautiful evening gown.

“Hi.” You shyly greet as you walk to the host.

“Hi. How are you doing?” Chris greets you as you stand next to him.

“A little but nervous but I’m good!” You both chuckle. “How are you?”

“I’m good, nice to meet you! Let me just say you look fantastic.” He says as the camera captures you whole look. “Let’s go sit down and have a talk.”

“Ok, let’s go.” You agree and you both walk to the mansion.

“Y/N,” Chris opens the door for you, “this is your bachelorette house.”

“Oh my!” You gasp as you take in the beautiful place.

The space is decorated with candles and rose petals that together with the dim lighting makes the whole place look so romantic. He walks you through the living room leading to a door that connects with the pool area on the back.

“Let’s take a seat.” Chris points to the two chairs by the pool divided by a small table.

You two sit down and you can’t stop smiling at this wonderful adventure that’s about to start.

“Y/N, you are the bachelorette. Now that we’re here and this is happening, what do you think?”

“I’m excited, I’m nervous, I… I don’t even know!” You chuckle. ”I can’t wait to get this started but I’m definitely shaking right now.”

“We know you had a few heartbreaks in the past, any loose ends these guys have to worry about?”

“Oh not at all!” You say with certainty. “Everything from my past is well solved. I did have my fair share of bad experiences but I’ve moved on and I’m ready to find the one!”

“Do you think this the best way for you to find your future husband?”

“There’s no right or wrong way to find a husband, no matter how you meet if you’re meant to be it will happen one way or the other.” You smile.

“That’s an amazing mind-set. Do you think you’re ready to take the wheel and make the hard decisions you’ll have to each week?”

“I’m someone very sure of what I want but it will be hard to make decisions knowing I might potentially be hurting someone’s feelings.” You take a deep breath. “But I gotta do what I gotta do and I’m here to find the one, not the ones!” You both laugh.

“We sincerely hope you can find true love here and for that we have selected 23 fantastic men with your taste in mind. You’re going to meet very different guys but they’ll all complete you in some kind of way. Are you ready for this?”

“I’m ready!” You say with a big smile on your face.

“Great, because your life is about to change!” Chris says and then explains how the night will unfold. ”Now, I’ll take you back to the entrance where the 23 men will arrive one by one and they’ll get to introduce themselves. Once everybody has arrived, we’ll have a cocktail party where you can all bond a little more and then we’ll have the first rose ceremony.”

“Sounds good!” You feel your heart about to burst out of your chest but you can’t wait for this to begin, you’ve never been more ready.

“Let’s go then!”

You two arrive at the entrance of the mansion.

“Alright, are you ready to meet the bachelors?” Chris asks looking at you.

“I’m ready.” You smile, voice full of excitement.

“Good, because here comes the first limo!” He gestures to the vehicle that’s arriving. “Good luck!”

Chris leaves as the first car stops in front of you. The door opens and the first man walks out.

“Hello!” He waves with a smile as he approaches you.

“Hi, I’m Y/N.” You try to calm yourself down, the idea that this is finally happening still sinking in you.

“I’m Taeil, nice to meet you.” He introduces himself shaking your hand.

“Nice to meet you too, Taeil.”

“You have beautiful eyes.” His own eyes sparkling above his smile.

“Thank you.” You shyly smile.

“I’ll see you inside.”

You watch him go up the stairs and then turn around as the second limo arrives. A very tall man comes out.

“Hi!”

“Hi.” You’re still impressed with his height. “Wow, you’re so tall!”

“And you’re so beautiful!” A big smile lights up his face as he shakes your hand.

“Smooth!” You both chuckle.

“I’m Johnny.”

“I’m Y/N, nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you too. See you inside?”

“Of course.” Again you watch him go up the stairs.

A third car arrives with the next bachelor.

“Hey, how are you?”

“I’m good, how are you?” You are enchanted by his big eyes.

“Great now that I’m here!” He smiles widely. “I’m Taeyong.”

“Y/N, nice to meet you.” You shake hands.

“Nice to meet you too. You look great by the way!” He admires your look, still holding your hand.

“Thank you.” You can’t hide the huge smile on your face.

“See you in a bit.”

Another vehicle arrives and the next man walks to you.

“Hi, I’m Yuta. Nice to meet you.” He bows his head with a smile.

“Hi Yuta, I’m Y/N. Nice to meet you too.”

“You are really really pretty.”

“I could say the same about you!” You can’t keep your eyes from his face.

“Oh thank you.” He looks flustered with your complement and you find it adorable.

“See you inside.”

“See you.” He winks before going inside.

You take a deep breath before turning around to meet the next arrival.

“Hi beautiful.”

“Oh hi!” You chuckle at the nickname.

“I’m Kun. I thought of bringing you a rose,” he lifts up the flower in his hand, “but since you’ll be the one giving them out tonight, how do you feel about a tulip?” With a quick hand movement the flower transforms in front of your eyes and you gasp.

“Wow, we got a magician!” You take the tulip and he smiles proudly. “I’m Y/N, very nice to meet you!”

“Same! I’ll see you inside.”

“Thank you!” You raise the flower his way as he leaves.

When you turn around you see Chris walking your way.

“That was a surprise!” You both chuckle as you nod. “Mind if I take this for now? We don’t want the next candidate to be disappointed already!”

You hand him the tulip and he leaves as the next limo stops.

“Hello.”

“Hello.” You’re impressed with his politeness.

“I’m Doyoung.” He takes your hand and kisses it, looking into your eyes.

“Oh, I-I’m Y/N.” You stutter with the gesture. “And they say chivalry is dead!”

“Not with me here!” He smiles. “You look amazing.”

“Thank you, Doyoung.”

“I’ll be waiting inside.” You nod watching him go.

The next bachelor opens the door and walks to you.

“Nice to meet you, I’m Ten.” He shakes your hand.

“Nice to meet you Ten, I’m Y/N.”

“You look beautiful girl!” He spins you around holding your hand taking a 360 view.

“Oh thanks!” You’re startled by his action but still smile at him. “You don’t look too bad yourself.”

“I guess we would make a beautiful couple!”

“I guess we’ll see about that!” You both chuckle as he walks away.

Another limo arrives.

“Hi!” The man smiles and almost takes your breath away as dimples show up on his cheeks.

“Hi! You’re so handsome.” You can’t help comment.

“Thank you.” You smile at his slight shyness. “You’re gorgeous.”

“Thanks, I’m Y/N.” You extend your hand and he shakes it.

“I’m Jaehyun, nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you too.” You let go of a breath you didn’t know you were holding as he walks up the stairs.

Another vehicle, another candidate.

“Wow…”

“Hey!” You chuckle.

“I’m speechless.” He admires you up and down.

“I’m hoping that’s a good thing!” You feel your cheeks burning up.

“It is, you look wonderful.” He adverts his gaze to your face.

“Thank you, I’m Y/N.”

“Oh yeah right, sorry! I’m Winwin.” He bows.

“Nice to meet you, Winwin.”

“Same to you.” He takes one last look at you before he disappears from your sight which makes you giggle.

You turn around just in time to face the next bachelor.

“Hi.” As he comes close to you he takes your hand giving it a kiss.

“Oh, hello.” You widen your eyes and smile as he looks up at you. “Aren’t you charming?”

“I am indeed.” He winks. “Jungwoo.”

“Nice to meet you, Jungwoo. I’m Y/N.”

“What a sweet name for a sweet girl.”

“I… Thank you!” Now you’re the one speechless.

“I’ll see you inside.” He winks again before leaving you to meet the next person.

Another very tall man steps outs.

“Hey.” You almost melt at the view of his smile.

“Hey.”

“Nice to meet you, I’m Lucas.” He shakes your hand and his are so big against yours.

“I’m Y/N.” You squint your eyes. “I’m sorry to ask this but do I know you from somewhere? I feel like I’ve seen you before.”

“Well,” he chuckles, “I have done some modelling work before, maybe you saw some of it?”

“Maybe…” You say although you’re not sure that’s it. “Anyway, nice to meet you too.”

“Meet you inside?”

“Definitely.”

You bite your lip still wondering where have you seen this guy before but your thoughts are interrupted as another car arrives.

“Hey, what’s up?”

“Hi!” You’re instantly hit with a wave of good vibes.

“I’m Mark and you can mark me in your heart.” He winks.

“Oh really?” You can’t help laugh at the cheesy punch line.

“I’m sorry, I can’t believe I just said that.” He joins your laughter.

“It’s ok, that was kinda cute.” You wipe the little tears forming in the corner of your eyes. “I’m Y/N, but you can mark me in your heart too I guess.”

“Well thank you!”

“I’ll see you inside.” He nods and walks away still laughing as he leaves.

You turn around you see Chris walking your way.

“So, you’ve met 12 out of the 23 bachelors. How are you feeling?”

“Definitely less nervous! They’re all so kind and funny!” You answer with a big smile.

“We’re glad you’re having fun! Ready to meet 11 more?”

“I don’t know if I can handle it!” You chuckle.

“Well you better, because the next one is here!”

Chris leaves as the door opens.

“Hi, I’m Xiaojun.”

“Hi, I’m Y/N. Nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you too.” He grins. “I gotta say, you look like the girl of my dreams.”

“Oh wow!” You giggle. “Are those sweet dreams?”

“The sweetest.” He winks. “I’ll see you inside, dream girl.”

“See you inside, Xiaojun.”

Another limo arrives.

“Hey!”

“Hey, I’m Y/N.” You shake his hand and feel a comfortable warmth coming from him.

“Nice to meet you, Y/N. I’m Hendery.”

“Nice to meet you too.”

“You look beautiful, but aren’t you cold?” He places a hand on your sleeveless arm. “I can give you my jacket.”

“Oh no, no, it’s ok!” You stop him with a smile as he was about to remove the piece of clothing.

“Alright, I’ll be waiting for you inside!”

“Thank you, Hendery.”

Another car turns around the corner.

“Hi, I’m Renjun.”

“Hi, nice to meet you, I’m Y/N.”

“You look wonderful.” He smiles. “I can wait to win your heart.”

“Oh really?” You smirk. “And how do you plan on doing that?”

“I guess you’ll have to keep me around and find out.” He winks and you can’t help chuckle.

“Maybe I will.”

“See you in a bit.”

Yet another man arrives.

“Hey.”

“Oh hi.” You are amazed with his beautiful eye smile.

“Jeno, nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you too-” As you’re finishing your sentence you feel a tingle on your nose and quickly cover your mouth as you sneeze. “I’m sorry.”

“Are you ok?” You nod as he pulls out a napkin from his pocket and hands it out to you. “I would say godbless you but it looks like he already did.”

“Oh my!” You almost snort as you carefully wipe your nose.

“You sure you’re ok?” He places a hand on your shoulder.

“Yes, thank you Jeno. I’m Y/N by the way.”

“I’ll take that.” He takes the used napkin and smiles as he turns to the stairs.

Your cheeks are burning hot from embarrassment but you take a deep breath to greet the next arrival.

“Hi!”

“Hey!” You can feel the excitement in his voice.

“I’m Haechan, would you mind if I gave you a hug?”

“Sure-” You barely replied and his arms were around you, careful to keep a respectful distance between your bodies. “I’m Y/N.” You continue as he steps back.

“Well Y/N, do you believe in love at first sight or should I get out of the limo again?” He winks and you burst out laughing. How can he make such a cheesy line sound so adorable?

“Oh dear.” You try to compose yourself.

“Sure, you can call me that too.” You break out laughing again and he joins you. “Maybe I should go inside and save some lines for later.”

“That sounds great, can’t wait to hear what else you got!”

“Oh, you’re in for a treat!” He walks up the stairs and you’re left wiping the corners of your eyes once more.

Another vehicle stops and you turn around.

“Oh wow, hi!”

“Hey!”

“I bet the other guys already told you this but you look absolutely beautiful.”

“Oh, thank you so much.” For some reason you feel butterflies in your stomach, but not like the ones you felt before, there’s something about him. Maybe it’s his beautiful smile, maybe it’s his happy aura. Whatever it is you really want to find out.

“I’m Jaemin.” He extends his hand and you shake it.

“I’m Y/N, nice to meet you.”

“You too, Y/N. And thank you so much for taking the time to meet us today.”

“Thank you for wanting to join this journey with me.”

“My pleasure.” His hand lingers on yours before he finally lets go to walk up the stairs.

You place a hand on your heart, why is it beating so fast? This is too soon to pick favorites! Anyway, you turn around as another bachelor arrives.

“Hello.”

“Hello, I’m Y/N.”

“I’m Yangyang, nice to meet you.” His wide smile almost reaches his ears. “You look fantastic!”

“Thank you Yangyang. I look great too!”

“You’re so sweet, thank you!” You can’t help smile at his adorable face.

“See you inside!”

“See you!”

One more limo, one more chance of love.

“Hi!”

“Hi!” Your heart warms up, this man exudes positive vibes.

“I’m Shotaro.” His eyes transmit his happiness.

“I’m Y/N, nice to meet you!”

“Nice to meet you too! I hope you don’t mind, I brought you a little something.” He reaches inside his jacket and removes a small box with a bow.

“Oh you didn’t have to, Shotaro!” You take the gift. “But thank you so much!”

“No problem, it’s worth it to see the happy look in your face.”

“Should I open it now?” You’re excited to see what he got you.

“That’s ok, you can open it later. I’ll meet you inside!”

“Thank you!” You look at the box again and wonder what it is.

As you turn around you see Chris coming your direction again.

“These men came prepared!”

“I guess they did!” You hand him the box with a smile as you know that’s what he’s here for.

“Thank you Y/N, enjoy the rest of the candidates!”

He leaves again with another arrival.

“Hello.”

“Hello, I’m Y/N.”

“I’m Sungchan.” He bows.

“Nice to meet you Sungchan.” You smile and bow back.

“You look really good tonight.” He looks quite nervous as he complements you.

“Oh thank you, you too!”

“Thank you.” He smiles as he walks to the mansion.

A new bachelor walks out of another limo.

“Hi, I’m Chenle.”

“Hi Chenle, nice to meet you, I’m Y/N.”

“Nice to meet you too! You look lovely.” He smiles.

“Thank you, you are so sweet.” Not only his words, but also his features.

“Just saying it like I see it!”

“Still, thank you.” You bow with a smile.

“See you inside.”

One more vehicle turns the corner.

“Hey.”

“Oh hi!” You’re a bit startled as you didn’t expect that deepish voice coming out of such a young looking guy.

“I’m Jisung and you’ll be happy to know I’m the last one!”

“Do you think they saved the best for last?” You teasingly ask.

“Maybe.” He scratches his neck and you can see he’s a bit nervous.

“I’m Y/N.”

“Nice to meet you, I’ll see you inside.” You watch him go up the stairs and let out a relieved breath.

As you turn around Chris comes to you once again.

“That’s it! Those are the 23 bachelors in a mission to win your heart. How do you feel?”

“A bit overwhelmed!” You both chuckle. “They all seem like very nice, funny and interesting guys.”

“I have to say we had some interesting moments already.”

“We did!” You giggle as you recall some of them. “I can’t wait to get to know them better.”

“Well, let’s not wait any longer and get you inside!”

“Let’s go.” You smile as he leads you to the front door.

As you enter the living room Chris leaves you to mingle with the boys. Looking around you see them happily taking to each other and that puts a smile on your face. You approach the first group you see.

“Hi guys!” You greet them and their faces brighten up as they welcome you into the conversation. “How are you guys feeling?”

“Better now that you joined us!” Jungwoo says and the whole group nods in agreement.

“I still can’t believe this is really happening!” You share your excitement.

You go around the room talking with each group that unwittingly formed. They seem to be having fun so automatically you do too. They tell jokes, you laugh, all of you share your feeling and worries about the situation and you start to feel more comfortable and closer to all of them.

After a while you spot Shotaro by the balcony door and think it’s the perfect time to finally open his present. You both go outside and sit on a bench.

“It’s just a little something, I hope you like it.” He smiles at you as you open the box.

“Oh wow!” You pick up the thin chain with two little charms on it: a four leaf clover and a heart.

“So that through this experience you’ll be lucky enough to find love, wether it will be with me or not.” He smiles brightly as you look at the beautiful necklace, amazed with the gesture.

“Thank you so much Shotaro!” You lean in and give him a hug. He wraps his arms around you tightening the embrace.

You two go back inside and continue to mingle with the others until you find yourself on the side talking with Taeyong.

“I have to admit I was a bit intimidated when you came out of the limo but when you smiled all my walls came down.”

“I’m sorry,” he chuckles at your comment, “it will be my pleasure to show you I’m a nice guy.”

“Is that your way of convincing me you should stay?” You raise your eyebrow with a grin.

“Depends, is it working?” He winks.

“Maybe.” You both laugh.

The evening goes on and you go outside to get some fresh air. You spot Winwin talking to Yuta and decide to join them.

“Am I interrupting?” You say in a playful tone.

“You could never.” Yuta replies with a smile while Winwin nods in agreement.

The conversation flows but it feels like you and Yuta are doing most of the talking. You sometimes glance over over to Winwin but he sticks to nodding and short replies. You can tell he’s a bit shy and for some reason that leaves you intrigued in getting to know him better and for that maybe you just need some time just the two of you. Nevertheless Yuta is charming you with his smooth talk and hypnotising smile.

You then spot Hendery on the other side of the porch and decide to go talk to him.

“Should we sit here?” He points to an outdoor couch and you nod.

You two sit side by side and engage in a conversation about your personal sides and what you are looking for.

“Family is very important to me.” He says looking into your eyes.

“For me too.” You smile. “Do you want a big family?”

“Well I have quite a big family, I have three sisters!” You widen your eyes and he chuckles at your reaction. “So maybe I’d be interested in something like that too.”

“That’s good to know.” You bite your lip.

“Do you want a big family?” He asks you but before you can answer someone else steps in.

“Sorry to interrupt, but could I steal you for a minute, Y/N?” You look to the source of the voice and see Renjun.

“Sure, is that ok Hendery?” You turn back to him making sure he’s not bothered.

“No problem, we can finish this talk another time.” He smiles but you can see a trace of annoyance hidden behind it.

Renjun takes your hands and leads you to an emptier spot.

“I’m sorry if that looked a bit abrupt, I just feel like I barely saw you tonight and wanted to talk to you a little bit.”

“It’s ok, Renjun.” You tell him even though you’re not entirely sure it is.

You two talk for a while and then get back outside. You’re not 100% happy that he interrupted your conversation like that but at the same time you appreciate that he actually made an effort to talk to you.

When you enter the house you notice everybody is rounded up cheering and clapping and when you get closer you notice Mark is doing some sort of beat and Haechan is dancing and entertaining everyone. You smile at the scene in front of you happy to see everybody being entertained and just hope it continues like this in the next weeks.

You have a few more one on one talks as well as some group talks until you are called by Chris and you two head upstairs.

“Now that you had a chance to get to know your 23 bachelors a little bit more how are you feeling?” Chris asks as you’re sitting in one of the mansion rooms.

“I’m happy, because they’re all very nice, but I’m not excited for what I have to do next.” There’s a sadness in your voice that comes from your faint smile.

“Well we have reached the first of many hard decisions you’ll have to make throughout the next weeks.”

“I know, it just breaks my heart that I already have to send some of them home, it’s like I’m not even giving them a chance you know?” You sigh.

“I understand, but unfortunately tonight you will have to send 5 of them home as you only have 18 roses to hand out.” He points to the bowl of roses on the table.

“So many!” You whine.

“That’s correct.” Chris chuckles. “Do you already have an idea how you’ll make this decision? Are there a few you already know you want to keep?”

“Well some of them did leave a good first impression on me, others really left me curious and wanting to get to know them better so I guess that’s what I’m gonna base it on. But this is so hard! What if I accidentally send my prince charming home?” You laugh.

“You’ll just have to trust your instincts and I’m positive you’ll make the right decision!” He reassures you. “Now, I’ll leave you alone to make your decision and be back in a while to bring you back downstairs and let the guys know.”

“Thank you Chris.” You say as he leaves the room taking the roses.

You are now left looking at 23 pictures where you must select the ones you want to keep and the ones you want to let go. You bite your lip as you recall all events from tonight.

From the arrivals: some of them were very creative, with magic tricks and cheesy pickup lines, others showed how they cared about you even if they just met you, praising your looks and making sure you are okay standing there in the cold greeting them, and others just swept you off your feet with their looks or their vibe.

To the cocktail party: not only you got to know them a little better in your one-on-one talks but also you got to see them in a social environment, having fun and getting along with each other, and that also tells a lot about someone.

You take a deep breath with eyes closed, hoping you aren’t making wrong decisions right in the first week.

The men are all standing in a semi circle as you and Chris walk down the stairs. He leads you to a little stand containing the bowl with the 18 roses.

“Good evening gentlemen. I hope you had fun tonight and enjoyed getting to know our beautiful bachelorette.” The room is full of smiles. “But now it’s time for bad news for some of you. Y/N has 18 roses to hand out so that means 5 of you are not settling in the mansion.” You see some eyes widening and looking around. “For the ones she chooses you do have the possibility to turn down the rose if you don’t want to remain in the competition. So, without further due, Y/N you can start. To the rest of you, best of luck!”

You silently thank Chris, as he leaves the room, and take a step forward.

“Hi all.” You smile. ”Before I start I just wanted to thank you all for being here tonight, it’s been fun getting to know all of you. This was a hard decision because I feel like there wasn’t enough time to get to know you very well so please don’t take this harshly.” You then change your speech to a more serious tone. “To the ones I offer a rose please consider if you are here for the same reason as me, to find love. If not I’d rather you refuse it now so we don’t waste each others time.”

You turn to the stand and pick up a rose, you look around the room and take a deep breath bafore you say the first name.

“Jaemin.”

He widens his eyes and points to himself making sure it’s his name you said. You not giggling and his beautiful smile comes through as he steps forward to stand in front of you.

“I would really like to get to know you better, do you accept this rose?”

“Of course!” He replies excitedly and you pin the rose to his jacket. Before he goes back to his place he holds your hand. “Thank you.”

As he walks away you turn to take another rose trying to ignore how your heart is beating fast.

“Yuta.”

A grin grows on his face and he walks to you.

“Do you accept this rose?”

“Yes.” He slowly licks his bottom lip as you get close to pin the rose on his jacket. “Thank you.”

He winks as he walks back and you sigh, why are these guys making you even more nervous now?

“Jeno.”

His face brightens up hearing his name.

“Do you accept this rose?”

“Absolutely.” His smile lingers on his face as you pin the rose. “Thank you.”

You take another rose.

“Haechan.”

He bumps his fist in the air in victory and you laugh, joined by the other bachelors.

“I need to keep you around to make me laugh, do you accept this rose?”

“You bet I do!” He chuckles as you pin the rose. “Thank you.”

He makes an adorable face expression, squinting his eyes and hiding his mouth with his fists leaving you giggling as you pick up another rose.

“Kun.”

HIs smile is priceless when he walks up to you.

“Do you accept the rose? Just don’t turn this one into a tulip.” You both chuckle.

“I’m good with a rose.” He winks and you pin the rose in his jacket. “Thank you.”

You grab another one.

“Shotaro.”

He claps and skips to you making you giggle.

“Do you accept this rose?”

“Happy to!” You pin the rose. “Thank you so much.”

He skips back to his place making you giggle again.

“Johnny.”

He lets out a deep breath and walks to you with his hand on his chest.

“Are you ok to accept this rose?” You laugh.

“Oh definitely!” You have some difficulty pinning the rose so he helps you out. “Thank you.”

You pick up one more rose.

“Taeyong.”

“Yes!” He says making you almost jump in surprise.

“So, do you take the rose?”

“Hell yeah!” You chuckle as you pin the rose. “Thank you so much.”

As he goes back another rose is in your hands.

“Jaehyun.”

His dimples take your breath away once again as the first time he walked out the limo.

“Do you accept this rose?”

“With pleasure.” You pin the rose and he places a hand on your arm. “Thank you.”

You take a deep breath as you look at the bowl and notice half the roses have been handed out already.

“Lucas.”

His bright smile comes through and triggers your own.

“Do you accept this rose?”

“Gladly.” He bends his knees a little for you to pin the rose and you chuckle. “Thank you.”

You grab another one as he walks back to his place.

“Doyoung.”

He widens his eyes and smiles.

“Do you accept this rose?”

“I do.” You both laugh as he makes it sound like you just proposed. “Thank you.”

He happily steps back with a rose on his chest.

“Jungwoo.”

He does a little happy dance as he comes to you.

“Do you accept this rose?”

“I do.” He mimics Doyoung’s expression from before and you both laugh as you pin the rose on his jacket. “Thank you.”

He walks back and you grab another rose.

“Ten.”

He smiles with his whole face.

“Do you accept this rose?”

“Yes! I’m so excited!” You pin the rose. “Thank you.”

You pick up the next rose.

“Xiaojun.”

He pinches himself once he’s in front of you.

“Don’t worry, it’s not a dream.” You both chuckle. “Do you accept this rose?”

“Definitely.” You pin it to his jacket. “Thank you.”

One more rose in your hand.

“Winwin.”

He looks surprised to hear his name.

“Yes you!” You giggle as he shyly approaches you. “Do you accept this rose?”

“Of course.” He looks into your eyes as you pin the rose. “Thank you so much.”

You smile as he walks away.

“Mark.”

“Alright!” He says and you chuckle.

“You’re not marked in my heart yet, but do you accept this rose for now?”

“Oh absolutely!” You can see he’s slight embarrassed as you pin the rose on his jacket. “Thank you.”

You give him a reassuring smile as he goes back.

“Hendery.”

He sighs in relief and then smiles as he approaches you.

“Do you accept this rose?”

“For sure.” You pin the rose. “Thank you so much.”

As he walk back Chris comes in the room.

“17 roses have been handed out, there’s just one more and still 6 bachelors in the room.” He hands you the rose and takes the bowl. “Y/N, have you decided who will be the last lucky man tonight?”

“I think so.” You as your heart tightens in your chest.

“Go ahead.” He says before stepping out of the room again.

You take a deep breath as you look around the room.

“Renjun.”

He lets out the excruciating breath he was holding and quickly walks to you, almost as if afraid you would change your mind.

“Do you accept this rose?” You smile.

“Without a doubt!” You pin the last rose to his jacket. “Thank you. You won’t regret giving me this chance.”

As he goes back to his place you look to the 5 guys who didn’t receive a rose and see sad smiles and heads down. Chris enters the room again.

“That’s it fellas. Unfortunately Yangyang, Taeil, Sungchan, Chenle and Jisung this isn’t your time. We wish you all the best and that one day you do find love. You can now say your goodbyes before you leave.”

You bite your lip trying to hold back your tears from having to send 5 people home like this.

The group comes together to hug and say goodbye to the guys that are leaving and you slowly approach them too. Taeil goes to you first.

“I’m so sorry.” You almost whisper.

“Don’t worry about, it was still great to meet you.” He smiles lightly squeezing your shoulder.

“Thank you so much for being here.” You smile back and then turn to your side as Yangyang comes closer. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright dear, we’re good.” He replies and Sungchan arrives nodding in agreement.

“You guys are amazing.” You wipe a tear that accidentally fell on your cheek.

“Hey, don’t cry, you still have a lot of amazing guys here.”. Chenle says and Jisung nods.

“Thank you, for real.” The six of you do a group hug and then they leave the mansion.

In the next episode:

As one-on-one dates start to happen jealousy rises up between the bachelors.

“It’s not fair that we have to fight for attention with 15 other guys whilst they get to be alone with her.”

“Well maybe you just have to show her you deserve alone time too.”

“You say that like you don’t want some yourself!”

Another rose ceremony takes place and 5 more men will be sent home.

“Five again?”

“I don’t think I can do this.”

“This is not fair!”

“Really!?”

Stay tuned for next week’s episode premiering 20/06!

☽ ・・・・・ ☾

EPISODE 2

a/n: finally the first episode is here! y’all broke my heart making send taeil and yangyang home like this! but I told myself I will not be biased and stick to your votes. do give me some feedback please! ❤

taglist: @skrtbabe @yutahoes @mel-yjh @nakamotonudes @n0hyuck @negincho @love-and-other-possibilities

If you’d like to be included in the taglist for the series do let me know ❤︎

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dreamescapeswriting · 4 years ago

Text

One Summer In Paris ~ Finale ~ JJK [M]

WORD COUNT: 4.7K

GENRE: Fluffy, romance, ex-lovers to lovers,

PAIRING: Jungkook x Fem!Reader

DESCRIPTION: Jeon Jungkook had always loved Paris with its amazing views, incredible museums and the small Bookshop right across from the Effiel Tower. It was were he spent a lot of his summer breaks as a kid so he loved it well into his adulthood. There was one bookshop he rented a room in the summer that changed his life. It was a place where he felt happy and at peace whenever he had the chance to stay there. Where he fell in love for the first time and had his first heartbreak, a lot of firsts for him were in Paris. But what happens when he goes back to the same book shop four years later and finds the love of his life in the arms of another with a daughter who looks suspiciously like him…

THEMES: SMUT CHAPTER Single Parent, Jungkook x Fem!Reader, self insert, Smut will be included in a later chapter

MASTERLIST || PREVIOUS || EPILOGUE

After a week of the boys being in Paris the news that Jungkook was a father was being spread throughout the internet and world through the corrected sources this time though. He had to do a formal interview with a magazine company who worked for BigHit and were under their payroll so that the right things were being spoken about. No-one was allowed to just come up to you or Areum in the street or there would be some serious consequences. The relationship between you and Jungkook was never announced since neither of you knew what was happening just yet. As far as the media was concerned you were close friends just raising your daughter to the best of your abilities.

After some investigating everything came to light on how Jungkook was found, it was a mixture of some teenage girl tweeting out a video asking if anyone else thought it looked like Jungkook as well as an “unknown” source. The unknown source came to light as David who’s ego had been bruised too badly that he decided to take it out on both you and Jungkook. Calling everyone he thought of, telling magazines online that he knew where Jungkook was. After one person saw it with the first photograph the teen had tweeted out the news spread like wildfire. David got what was coming to him though, Bighit were suing him for slander against Jungkook.

All of the magazines painted him as the good guy who had no idea that his daughter existed and you were painted to be the girl who didn't know who Jungkook was at the time of the relationship, it was easier and less messy that way. The world didn't need to know all of the details about your lives together, they didn't need to know every aspect of what you and Jungkook went through.

"What are you thinking about?" Jungkook questioned when he saw you looking at Areum with Taehyung and Namjoon - they were playing dress-up after just getting back from Disney land that day. The boys had insisted on taking her - along with guards so no one would bother them.

"How different her life is going to be now." You admitted as Jungkooked wrapped his arms around your body and laid his chin on your shoulder. Things with Jungkook had been a little on and off for the last week neither of you had enough time or space to talk about what was happening. You acted like a real couple but you weren't enterally sure what you were since he was famous...The father of your daughter but it didn't mean you were or weren't dating.

"Jungkook what-"

"Let me take you out tonight," You spoke at the same time but you stopped your sentence first and stared into his eyes wondering what to say to him, you were going to ask him what you were together but now he was asking you out on a date.

"What-What?" You stuttered out turning your whole body to look at him this time ignoring everyone else that was in the room with you.

"Let me take you out, just you and me...Please?" Jungkook had been trying to think of a way to talk to you about life and how things were going to be from now on all week and this was the only way he could think of doing it properly. He'd put so much thought into everything and he was finally ready to have a serious conversation about it all.

"I didn't think you were allowed to go out publically." You whispered as you thought back to his manager telling him off for trying to sneak out a couple of nights ago. He shrugged his shoulders looking over at his manager who was reading through what everyone was thinking of Jungkook and his family on his tablet. That was what you were, you were a family even if you weren't together anymore...or yet. Some fans had reacted better than others, others claimed that you were faking, Areum wasn't truly his but if anyone took the time to look at Areum or spend time with her they would be able to tell she was in fact related to Jungkook.

"I'm not but, who said it has to be public...Trust me okay? I'll make this all perfect." You sighed thinking about it for a second, it would be nice to get out of the hotel you seemed to have been stuck in all week. Management had moved you in once the scandal dropped, the shop had been closed since - you wondered what Grace had been thinking about all of this but at the same time after what she told you about what she said to Jungkook, a part of you didn't care.

"I trust you," He smiled leaning forward to kiss your cheek before he made his way over to their manager, you watched him for a couple of seconds before deciding to go and rescue Namjoon and Taehyung from the makeup your daughter had gotten that day.

"My little princess seems to have turned the princes into princesses." You giggled as you swooped Areum up into your arms and blew a raspberry onto her shoulder playfully, she screamed wildly shouting that you were a dragon trying to steal the princess away.

"We'll save you!" Taehyung announced loudly pulling out a fake foam sword as he started to hit you on the leg with it but you laughed evilly and ran away with Areum.

Jungkook kept his hands over your eyes as he leads you through the bookshop, you knew where he was taking you since you both had to run away from the hotel while the boys distracted the manager.

"Fuck," You groaned as your arm came into contact with the fifth bookshelf in a row, Jungkook hissed as he flinched. He didn't mean to bang you into every shelf in the shop, in his head this had gone over a lot smoother.

"Sorry." He mumbled as he carefully sat you down on the blanket he had laid out for you already. He'd snuck off to the bookshop earlier that afternoon to make sure everything was ready and now he could finally bring you back here. He was trying to recreate one of your dates together and have it be a nice little surprise.

"You can open them in a second, hang on." He made sure your eyes were closed before rushing off to turn the main lights off in the store.

"Open," Your eyes slowly fluttered open and you looked around at the shop floor letting your eyes adjust to the dim lighting. You were snuggled in between two bookshelves, a picnic blanket was on the floor surrounded by small battery-operated candles you knew what he was doing the second you saw it all.

"Jungkook-" You looked up at him and that was when you spotted the fairy lights lining the top of the shelves to look like a starry night sky. You gasped as your eyes began to well up with tears, he was recreating a night you spent out by the river under the stars. You'd fallen asleep in his arms and he had to carry you home, it was also the night you gave him a tattoo. A small one on his arm just above the inside of his elbow, your initials.

"I got all your favourite foods as well if they're still your favourite. I mean I don't know if you changed it I heard that pregnancy can sometimes effect-" He was cut off when you kissed his lips softly to stop him from nervously rambling on about the food inside of the picnic basket.

When you pulled away from his lips you looked into his eyes and whispered to him

"This is perfect," He began turning a bright red which made you giggle at the thought that a simple and small kiss could do that to him. It was good to know that you still had that kind of effect on him.

"Thanks for this," You whispered again as he handed you a small plate and began to load it up with different foods you'd told him you loved before.

Hours later you were just laying together talking over things when he asked you a question,

"Do you remember our last date...Before I left?" You were both laying on the floor staring up at the fairy lights, your head was resting on his arm as he questioned you on random things about his time there. The date had been going amazingly so far, there were no phone calls from the boys, no one had tried to interrupt you and it just felt as though nothing had changed over the last four years. As if he hadn't been away and there was a huge fight with one another. It was exactly the way it was supposed to be. How things should have stayed if you had told him.

"Was that the one where we came back and slept in front of the fireplace?" You questioned him as you popped a piece of popcorn into his mouth, he hummed while nodding his head at you.

"Yeah I remember it," You started giggling as you remembered Jungkook that night. He'd been so nervous about something that he'd knocked wine all over the floor and all down your dress.

"You covered me in red wine," You started laughing again and he nervously laughed about it scratching the back of his neck as he remembered it,

"I was going to tell you that night that I loved you...Then I was going to come clean about who I was...I was always going to tell you, Y/n." Your heart stopped as you heard him admitting this to you. All these years you thought that he never told you because he didn't trust you or something,

"You were?" He nodded his head as he started to play with your hair, he couldn't bring himself to look at you as he admitted all of this.

"I was so nervous about it that I spilt drinks, my palms were sweating and I couldn't breathe. I told you when you were asleep though," He chuckled pathetically making his chest rise and fall, you turned to lay on your side facing him and put your head on his chest just laying there as you giggled softly.

"Doesn't really count if I'm asleep," He smiled weakly as he began rubbing your lower back with his hand just enjoying his time with you while he could.

The two of you sat there in silence for a few more seconds before you looked down at the floor beside him and bit your lip,

"I didn't know I was pregnant when I saw you last...I said it to hurt you...I-I didn't know." He looked at you as you began to frown at the floor,

"I knew you weren't like that so I figured as much." You sniffled a little and sat up as you looked at him seriousness coming into the atmosphere now.

"I-I wanted to tell you but I didn't know how to get into contact with you." He watched as you seemed to look in pain as you told him this, it had been something that had been weighing on your chest for a while since you told him that and you hated yourself for doing it to him.

"We didn't really end on good terms...I should have tried to contact you as well...I really do love you Y/n-" He stopped as he realised he said "love" instead of the past tense. It was true. He'd been in love with you since the moment he laid eyes on you, he'd never believed in love at first sight until then. He'd always had it set in his mind that when he met the love of his life he would hear alarm bells but instead of alarm bells when he met you it was the church bells and a whole choir singing loudly so he could hear and know it was you.

"I-I love you too." Your eyes were wide at first but you knew it was true, there was no one else that you could ever love more than Jungkook - other than Areum but that was a different kind of love. There was no one else in the world that was more perfect for you.

It happened suddenly, you were laid below Jungkook as he kissed you passionately, his hands keeping him pressed above you while your hands worked their way into his hair.

"I love you," He whispered against your lips as he kissed you again, you giggled pulling him down closer to your lips.

"I love you too," He smirked hearing the words leave your mouth he never wanted you to stop saying them to him,

"Say it again," He whined out desperately as you pulled back from the kiss to look him in the eyes.

"I love you Jeon Jungkook," He smiled brightly bringing you into another kiss, the sparks from before all still there. The same church bells and choir singing loudly for him to know that this was real, this is where his heart belonged.

An intense makeout session lead to you sitting on the floor of the book shop now holding a stick and poke tattoo kit Jungkook had brought along with him again, just like the first time you gave him a tattoo.

"This is insane, you can go and get a real one Guk." You looked at him nervously and he shook his head waiting for you to just tattoo him. This meant more to him than going to have a real one done,

"I want you to be the one to do this," He admitted as he handed you everything you needed. He'd show you what he wanted done on his arm,

"Where?" You questioned looking at Areum's name written in a fancy font on a piece of paper. He stripped out of his shirt to reveal his tattooed arms and you couldn't help but look at them all. Wanting to know every story to each and every one of them but then your eyes found his first one. The small one that you'd done before,

"I want it here," He whispered pointing to the blank space below your initials on his arm, as soon as you saw the initials you felt a warm feeling spread all over your body.

"Y-You didn't cover it?" He shook his head as your eyes welled up with tears, the thought of him keeping a part of you with him all the time made you want to cry.

"I-I kept your shirt..." You admitted as your tears began to leave your eyes, your vision returning to normal as you took hold of the kit and got ready to tattoo him. He had a huge smile on his face as he thought about you snuggled into his shirt whenever you missed him or something.

"You're sure?" You questioned as you held his arm in your hand referring to the tattoo once again,

"Positive," With that you began inking his arm with the tools while holding him steady, apologising every three seconds in case it was hurting him too much.

"It's perfect," He whispered as you applied some tattoo goo he'd brought along with him before placing the tattoo under some cling film to keep it protected for the first night.

"Just like her," You whispered as you stared at your handy work, it looked really good to say you'd only ever done small ones before.

"She is," Jungkook chuckled while holding your hand in his. The air was silent but it wasn't the awkward kind, it was just a nice silenced between you both before he began leaning into you again.

"Say it again." He begged as he looked into your eyes. You knew what he was talking about without him saying it, it was all he ever wanted to hear from now on.

"No, I've said it all night." You groaned jokingly as you tried to push him away from you but he dragged you to sit on his lap and whispered it in your ear as he kisses your neck softly.

"Say it," He begged while kissing down your jaw, each kiss making you needier each second.

"Say it." He growled pulling you down on his lap harder making you whimper, this time it was an order and you pushed your hands into his hair whimpering as he kissed your neck.

"I, Y/n Y/l/n love you, Jeon Jungkook." He smirked before kissing up to your lips and kissing you roughly, you bit down on his lip playfully earning a groan from him and you giggled.

"Fuck, I love you too, I love you so much Y/n," He whimpered as he laid your down below him on the floor, you wrapped your legs around his waist not wanting him to go away just yet but he didn't. He ran his tongue along your bottom lip and you granted him access, allowing his tongue to explore your mouth while you sucked on it a little bit. He ground his hips down into you while smirked, you moaned as you felt how hard he was behind the jeans he was wearing.

"Needy?" You teased running your hand down the front of his chest before palming him through the rough fabric of his pants,

"Very." He grunted as you began to undo his belt buckle, pushing him to lay down on the floor as you worked your way out of his jeans.

"W-What are you doing-" He groaned loudly as you took him from his boxer and began massaging him in your hand, he was so much bigger than you remembered and his tip was bright red.

"So needy baby," You cooed at him before looking up into his eyes, he watched you, infatuated with what you were going to do.

"P-Please-" Your tongue began licking small but fast strokes on his head, paying more attention to his slit which was already dripping with precum. You placed the tip into your mouth sucking him clean while he threw his head back against the floor and moaned out your name.

"Fuck please...I-I need more," You looked up at him while pumping him in your hand, he looked so breathtaking laid out for you like this. Needy and begging for you, you licked the underside of his cock from base to tip making sure to coat him in enough salvia so you could glide him in and out of your mouth with his but he moaned out as soon as you touched him.

"Shit baby-" As soon as your mouth was around his cock it was as if a switch had gone off in his mind, he was no longer the whining and begging boy he'd just been for you but now he was grunted and finding it hard to control himself.

You could see he was debating taking your head in his hands so you reached for his hands while you bobbed your head slowly, you placed his hands into your hair and nodded slight giving him the all-clear to take over.

"Fuck I love you so fucking much." He forced your head down until your nose was pressed against his groin, you held back the gag and tears wanting him to feel as much pleasure as possible and he moaned out. Moving your head softly with his hands as he began to buck up into your mouth,

"So fucking warm, I bet you're dripping aren't you." He smirked watching the way you avoided his gaze, he continued thrusting into your mouth as you whined out around him sending vibrations through his body.

"Fuck, pull off baby, pull off," You pulled away and a sad expression appeared on your face, you wiped your lips instantly thinking you'd done something wrong when he attacked you with hungry kisses. Ripping your shirt open before removing your skirt in what seemed like one movement. You were left in your black panties and matching bra,

"Expecting something tonight?" He chuckled while playing with the band of your panties, you shook your head so he ripped the panties off throwing the thin fabric somewhere in the shop.

"Jungkook! That was my only good pair." He pushed you down onto the floor, pulling your ass into the air while keeping your chest flat on the floor.

"I'll buy you some new ones," He whispered as he bent down to admire your core, smirking as he watched just how wet you were.

"You always were so needy for me," He smirked running one finger over your folds making your hips buck for more but he held you in place,

"If you're a good girl, good things will come." He placed a kiss on your core making you whine out and close your eyes tightly.

"Please," You practically begged him and so he pushed his tongue into you making your eyes widen at the feeling, it had been so long since you'd had anything nearly as passionate as this. He hummed into your cunt before swirling his tongue inside of you, using his thumb to attack your clit.

"So fucking wet, you taste so good baby girl," The name made you clench around his two fingers that were buried knuckle deep inside of you.

"You like that? You like it when I call you baby girl?" He questioned pushing his fingers in and out of you roughly while you whimpered below him not being able to form words from the feeling of him.

"I'm taking that as a yes," He chuckled wickedly before pushing his tongue back into your cunt, moaning into your whenever you'd clench around his tongue.

"Ugh shit, Jungkook!" You screamed out gripping onto the blanket below you as you came unexpectedly and out of nowhere onto his tongue. Your body slipped leaving you to lay down on the blanket, your ass still in the air just a little,

"Good girl," He whispered turning you around to face him, you licked your lips as you roughly brought him down into another kiss trying to position him between your legs. You wanted to feel him inside of you, you wanted to feel him filling your walls up the way he used to.

"U-Agh fucking Jesus," Jungkook moaned as he slowly pushed into you, he kept himself steady holding himself in place at your hilt as you tried to adjust to him again. You could feel every inch of him inside of you which already made your head spin at the thought of it. The number of times you'd brought yourself to the edge just thinking about him touching you instead of yourself was never enough. You could never make yourself feel the way he was making you feel right now.

"M-Move," You whispered to him before kissing him roughly again, he followed your orders and began to push in and out of you slowly at first making you moan into his mouth.

"So tight," He grunted taking your right leg and putting it over his shoulder, the sudden movement making you cry out in pleasure as he hit you deeper than before.

"T-There, T-There! Right there." You repeated as he continued to hit you at that same spot over and over again making you cry out, you ran your nails down his bare back and he smirked as you clenched with each thrust.

"That's it, baby, let me feel you do that again." He roughly slammed into you holding himself in place and you screamed out his name rolling your head back and arching your back off the floor.

"JUNGKOOK!" Nothing could compare to this, he continued to roughly hit into that spot that made your eyes roll back and the fairy lights look like real stars.

"F-Faster...M-More, need more." You whimpered wanting him to hit that exact spot more and more with each thrust and he moaned back at you as he began to change his pace. Swiftly pushing in and out of you roughly watching the way your head rolled back and you moaned out his name.

"S-Shit baby, I- I can't keep this up." He admitted as he began rubbing your clit with his thumb and your whole body began to shake, your thighs aching as you could feel the pressing orgasm begin to rise up in your body.

"C-Cum...I-I wanna cum...F-Feel you cum," Your sentence was a mess as were you but you were begging for him to cum and to let you cum.

"Together?" He whispered while kissing you softly not matching his thrusts which were still rough and quick, you managed to nod while moaning out his name and he smirked feeling you getting closer with him.

"S-Shit," You cried out as his thumb began to rub your clit in rougher circles, tugging on it a little making you whimper and gasp as your orgasm began to build. The tightness in your stomach grew tighter until you snapped around him, your legs wrapping around his waist to hold him deep inside of you as you came around his length.

"Jungkook, shit." You whimpered out as he kissed you roughly, cumming into you as you held him deep, your walls clenching around him even after you came down from your high.

The fireplace was crackling as you laid in front of it, naked and sprawled out beside Jungkook who was sweating from the activities you'd just done again for the sixth time that night. There was one thing playing on your minds though, one lingering thought that neither of you wanted to talk about but had to talk about sooner or later. That was about him going home. Going to Korea.

"We have to talk about something," He whispered as you laid your head down on his sweaty chest nodding along to him, you knew what was coming.

"I have to go soon...But I don't want this to end...I don't want to be away from you and Areum." The thought had crossed your mind about how this would all work out, being in different countries while you shared a daughter and were hopelessly in love with one another.

"I don't want to be away from you either." You admitted as you looked up into his eyes, resting your chin on his chest as you stared into his eyes.

"W-Well what- What if you-" You knew what he was trying to say and ask of you and again the thought had crossed your mind, all of the positives about it but then all of the negatives came along with it.

"Move to Korea?" You questioned to make sure you were on the same page as him. He nodded his head slowly while linking your hands with his and starting at you sadly,

"I-I wouldn't know how to do that...W-What if things go bad between us what-"

"Ignore the what-ifs, this...This is perfect. What we have it right..." You knew he was right on that part, there was nothing that could happen between you and Jungkook that could break you apart anymore. You were hopelessly in love with him and nothing was ever going to change that.

"I wouldn't know how to move to another country...I-I don't even speak much Korean, how would Areum go to school." You sat up as you panicked thinking about everything but Jungkook took your arms in his hands and shook his head.

"We can fix that, I can make things work...She can be homeschooled, We can look into visa's and stuff." He whispered trying to reassure you that everything would be okay, the longer he held you the more you knew it was the right thing to do and the more you thought that nothing could go wrong with this, with him by your side.

"I suppose there are lots of huge book stores in Korea I could get a job in..." He smiled brightly as he heard you calming down and began to talk about what you could do there. You'd always expressed your love for travelling and you'd never been before.

"I-I'll have to talk to Areum about it and Grace...I'll need to find someone that will take the shop..." You began planning out what was going to happen in your head but Jungkook just brought you into a soft and loving kiss as he pulled you close to him again.

"Everything will work out, I promise." He whispered as he leant down to kiss you once again, running his hands up your sides as he got excited over the thought of getting to live out the rest of his life with you.

A/n: This fic was super short and sweet but I hope you guys enjoyed it! Thank you to those who took the time to read it! I hope you can enjoy any future works I aim to put out 🥰💞 It will probably be a while until my next series as I’m working on a Stray Kids Minho one!

MASTERLIST || PREVIOUS || EPILOGUE

Tagline: @lyoongx @mitzwinchester @fan-ati--c @taestannie @kneel-begyourpardon @rjsmochii @bisexualmess007 @innersooya @sw33tnight @sweeneyblue1 @jin-from-the-block @neverthefirstchoice @jikooksgirl19 @jungkooksseuphoria @queenmasterxx @oosnapitskat @janieooo @preciouschimine @koremis @keijilovebot @silscintilla @mayafravoli

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bewitching-elizabeth-olsen · 4 years ago

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Press: “It’s a New Day”: THR Drama Actress Roundtable

THE HOLLYWOOD REPORTER: Gillian Anderson had been dreading this. A tripod had arrived at her home in the U.K., along with a mess of lights and, really, just the thought of having to sit through an hour-plus on Zoom had her practically reeling. But then the woman who stuns as Margaret Thatcher in the most recent season of Netflix’s The Crown got talking — about pigeonholing and pay equity, about grieving and giving oneself over — and soon she didn’t want to stop talking. And neither did anyone else — The Queen’s Gambit‘s Anya Taylor-Joy, Pose‘s Mj Rodriguez, Genius: Aretha‘s Cynthia Erivo, WandaVision’s Elizabeth Olsen and Ratched‘s Sarah Paulson — at THR’s annual (virtual) Drama Actress Roundtable.

Let’s start easy. Complete this sentence: On set, I’m the one who is most likely to be …

GILLIAN ANDERSON Hiding in a corner. (Laughter.)

ANYA TAYLOR-JOY Pacing whilst moving my hands like this (waving above) trying to figure out what it is that I’m doing.

SARAH PAULSON Bossing everyone around.

ELIZABETH OLSEN Probably trying to make the crew laugh.

At the same time, you’re also inhabiting characters for long stretches and often they require you to go to dark or heavy places. What happens when a director yells, “Cut”? Do they come home with you?

MJ RODRIGUEZ I try to separate myself from Blanca as much as possible, especially [because we’re] dealing with immense trauma. So, when I go home, it’s Michaela Jaé going home, and I bring Blanca to the set. It’s easier that way because it can weigh on you otherwise and wash off on your family.

TAYLOR-JOY I wish I had as much control over it. For me, there are some characters that you can very easily snap in and out of and then there are other ones like Beth in The Queen’s Gambit. I’d worked back-to-back on two projects with one day off in between, so by the time I got to filming the show, I was exhausted and there was no energy to create a barrier. And that was potentially the toughest thing about the show, because it was a wonderful experience as an actor to be able to not have to reach for any emotion, but then you also have to go through the psychological warfare of figuring out, “Why do I feel so awful in the morning?” Like, “What is happening?” And then you go, “Oh, it’s not my feelings,” but I have to sit in them all day and I have to be aware enough to go, “You are not depressed, the character is depressed, and at some point that will leave you.” But I do think a bath every single night — being able to have the visual representation of washing yourself clean of something — helps.

OLSEN Regardless of what exactly the day requires of you, emotionally, you’re just tired. And so you try to be patient and professional and kind, and then when you go home, that’s when your fuse is just … smaller. (Laughter.)

TAYLOR-JOY You should date us, we’re fabulous.

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CYNTHIA ERIVO I did, it was a real ugly cry. After playing [Harriet Tubman in the 2019 film], I went straight to see my mother in London and I don’t know what happened, but I just broke. You know the visual representation of shattering glass? That was what was happening to me. All the stuff I had to dig through to play her, all that heartbreaking stuff didn’t leave me when I finished, and it took time to just dissipate. And it was the same with Aretha — unfortunately, the pandemic hit when we were in the middle of shooting, so I couldn’t completely get rid of her during the six-month hiatus, and then I had to go right back into playing her. And it’s little things, like mannerisms, that stick with you. The lilt in her voice when she’s speaking to people. Like, that’s not me but I was stuck with that for a bit. And I was recording an album at the same time, so there was no space between one and the other. It took me a while before I could listen to an Aretha song again.

ANDERSON I certainly had that experience doing X-Files for nine seasons. I had a good couple of mini breakdowns during that, and at the end, could not talk about it, could not see it, could not see pictures, could not. I needed to immerse immediately in theater in another country. And then after a while, I was able to embrace it again, but when I started to embrace it, it was almost like I separated myself so much that I was looking at the image as if it was another person. When you immerse yourself so entirely as we can and we do for such long periods of time, there’s not going to be no consequence to that. Of course, there’s going to be consequence to that.

TAYLOR-JOY May I pose a question to the group?

Please do.

TAYLOR-JOY It’s so wonderful hearing you two talk about this, because I’ve always felt really crazy for the depressions that you go into after you leave a character and not being able to necessarily connect with yourself. And I’m really curious to hear what your relationship is with something being seen. Because when I first started working, I convinced myself that filmmaking was a very private practice with a private group of people and that no one was ever going to see it. And I thought I’d grow out of that, and I haven’t. Every project I have to sit myself down about two months after it’s finished and go, “People are going to see this and have access to it whenever they want.” How do you guys work [handle that]? Because for Queen’s Gambit, I had to go through a grieving period. It was grief, genuinely, to think, “Oh goodness, this thing that I loved so much is not mine anymore.”

ANDERSON I had that experience after doing Blanche in Streetcar [Named Desire] here in the U.K. and then in New York.

OLSEN I saw your last performance in New York. You were fabulous.

PAULSON Fucking phenomenal.

ANDERSON I felt like I’d lost my best friend. I was grieving. Some friends of mine in New York had a brunch for me the weekend after [I finished my run], and I arrived like a complete wreck. It was so profound. I also knew it was unlikely I was going to do it again because I knew that I’d probably lose my mind. I got really close. Like, I’d survived by the skin of my teeth and if I did it again out of ego or attachment or not wanting to let her go, there would be consequences. So I knew it was the end, and it was so sad.

ERIVO Do you know what’s so crazy? I listen to you and I’m like, “Oh my God, that’s what was happening to me during The Color Purple.” It was the last show and I started grieving in the show, knowing that it was coming to an end. There’s one last song and I couldn’t get through it. And then the show ends and I buckled under the sadness of it. But there was no way I could have continued playing Celie on that stage. It [had been] 14 months and I had to let her go. The line between me and her had disappeared. But to answer your question, Anya, I’ve never had an issue with people seeing things. I usually have an issue seeing it after it’s done.

PAULSON This happened when I did Marcia Clark [for The People v. O.J. Simpson: American Crime Story]. I felt a profound connection to her and I felt protective of her, and the experience had been so tectonic plate-shifting for me, both as a performer and as a human, and I thought, “If I watch it, I’m going to pick apart everything.” She was left-handed, so every time I use my right hand, I’m going to think, “God damn it, why did they use that?” So, the only way to protect myself from that is to detach from what the world will experience with it. And I’ve maintained that for a long time now — I really don’t watch [things I’m in] because I don’t have the strength, first of all, to bear the sight of my face and, also, I find it really confronting. The preciousness of the thing you were creating with these other people is what I want to be the indelible thing for me and not how it was edited.

TAYLOR-JOY Mm-hmm.

PAULSON All that does is make me furious because I don’t have the power to go in and go, “Hi, um, could you choose take six? It’s infinitely better.” (Laughter.) And when you don’t have that ability and you’re at the mercy of someone else’s opinion of what is the finest work that you’ve done, which doesn’t always line up with what you feel, it’s really jarring and you feel so powerless to do anything about it. So, I have to just sage it all out and let my experience be the only thing that governs the way I feel about it.

RODRIGUEZ When the first two seasons of Pose came out, I didn’t watch them at first because I was just so nervous about how the world would receive it. It was a story that a lot of people haven’t gotten to see, and it was a whole bunch of trans women of color finally getting their shot. It’s a lot of responsibility. And on top of that, it’s a story that’s filled with trauma and things that a lot of us trans women have gone through, so it was hard for me to watch all of those things back.

Gillian, in your career you’ve also been a champion for pay equity. But even as you were promoting a book you co-authored on female empowerment a few years ago, you acknowledged that you were nervous speaking up about being paid less than your male co-star. What do you think you were scared of, and how have the conversations for you changed since?

ANDERSON I just need to point out that I first fought for pay equity way back when it was audacious by anybody’s standards, because I was a nobody when we started to do that series. But when I really spoke up about it was when it happened again, four or five years ago, after the career I’d already had post-X-Files. We were going back to do another season and Fox came to me to offer, I don’t know, a 10th of what my co-star [David Duchovny] was being offered. That was the point where I was like, “Fuck this. I’m actually going to talk about this [publicly].” And since then, it hasn’t really come up. I mean, I haven’t worked with a lot of men, so that hasn’t been an issue. (Laughs.) I’m certainly tuned to it, and were it something now, I’d address it. But I have so much admiration for anyone who stands up for their right either to be paid or to be hired, period. And look, they weren’t going to fire me on The X-Files. The stakes weren’t that high. I put my foot down, not because the stakes weren’t high, but if they were going to fire me, some people were going to have some things to say about that. It’s very different for a young woman going into a job situation with a boss who’s overbearing and asking for a pay raise.

Sure, you had leverage.

ANDERSON Yeah.

For the rest of you, when have you spoken up in your careers?

ERIVO I mean, the obvious is I’m a Black woman, and that has a lot to do with how you’re paid, how you’re hired, if you’re hired, the way you’re hired — it affects everything. I’m lucky enough to have a team behind me that is brave enough to ask the questions I’d like asked: What I’m being paid compared to the leading man in the show, or if I’m being paid a lot less, whether or not they are willing to come up so it becomes equal. And about little things in my contract that just make it easier to exist on a set. For me, it’s about having the guts to stick with it and to keep asking and keep fighting. And there are definitely times where you’re like, “I am so exhausted from asking the same thing.” Like, if we could please have this makeup artist with me because usually there are no Black makeup artists on a set and you’re the only one who needs one, and I’ve had to have that fight every single time I’ve gone onto a set: “I need to hire these two people because they are the only people that understand how to do my face or my hair.” It isn’t about vanity, it’s about making sure that whoever I’m playing is represented in the right way because they understand how to work with my skin tone and my hair. But you keep sticking with it because it’s not just me having my way, it’s me being able to employ two other people. And then maybe I’m asking, “Can we have a DP who understands lighting that works on my skin tone?” So it’s constantly being OK with asking the questions. And there is a bit of fear, like, “Am I going to be seen as difficult?” And yes, there are times where I’ve had someone say they’ve heard I was difficult, but usually, it’s because I’ve asked a question that will make for a better surrounding or a better show. And if I keep asking the questions and if other ladies like myself keep asking the questions, and we keep trying to better our spaces, it just becomes the norm — because at some point it has to just become the norm.

Elizabeth, I believe you had a saying in your house growing up, “No is a full sentence.” When do you find you use it?

OLSEN I use it a lot. (Laughs.) I use it when I’m on set. I mean, I want to be a part of every department when I’m on set. I want to understand the schedule. I want to understand everything. I produced a TV show [Sorry for Your Loss] that didn’t get too much light of day because it was on Facebook, which, whatever … but as a producer on it, it was really important for me to be a voice of everything you’re saying, Cynthia, and have heads of departments feel like and look like the freakin’ world. And just from having a taste of that for two seasons, I can’t [go back]. So when I go to do Dr. Strange 2 in England, I guess I use it when I just can’t shake it even though [the production is] so much bigger than me. I don’t know, my opinions are vast and everyone hears them, from the first AD to the EP. I think I’m like a representative of anyone having a hard time on set. … (Laughs.)

PAULSON You’re the Equity rep, I love it.

OLSEN Oh my God. (Laughter.)

When you think about your careers, is there someone else’s that you look at and go, “Ooh, yeah, I’d love that”?

OLSEN Gillian’s, Sarah’s …

ERIVO Yeah, Sarah, you’re that for me. You’re fucking incredible.

PAULSON You saying that to me makes me want to cry because sometimes you feel like you’re doing this in a bubble and you don’t even know if anything you’re doing ever has any meaning or impact to anyone.

ERIVO It does. From my heart, it does. And I hope I get to work with you one day.

PAULSON I’d give my eyeteeth. (Laughs.) For me, it’s Gillian — somebody being on a TV program for a long time that’s wildly successful and then retreats to another country to be onstage, to reconnect yourself to the very things that inspired you and made you want to be a part of this. It all gets very confusing in terms of how to navigate [this business]because you do want to make a living, but you also want to follow your heart. And there does come a time where you can become quite depleted from the constant output without any input. And if you’re a woman of a certain age, which I certainly am, I feel like I’ve got one foot on one window frame and I’ve got the other one over here and I’m just trying to insist that they stay open for as long as possible. And some of that is beyond my control, but when I look at Gillian’s career I just go, “Well, I want that.”

ANDERSON Thank you for saying that. On the one hand, I feel like there is some degree of design, but I’ve also never really gone after things. And when I finished with X-Files, I didn’t know if I wanted to be on a set again ever. So aside from having grown up in the U.K. and wanting to go back, I knew it would take time before I could, if I was going to. And in London, you could move between theater and TV, and that was always my dream. But every actor has the thing that they’d want more than the thing that they have, and I’m a cinephile, and so I [wonder], “Why do I keep doing TV? All I want to do is do film.” And I’m still doing TV. (Laughs.) But I’ve had such amazing opportunities that, coming from Scully, I even questioned people, like, “Why are you offering this to me? What makes you think that I can do this?” I’ll also say that as soon as you have kids, kids are the priority. So, I say to people, “I’m gonna be such a pain in the ass for you to hire. But if you think I’m this person, I’m gonna need to work during this period of time and then have time with my kids. And it’s going to be expensive for you. If you are willing to do that, then I’m your girl, and if you’re not, you need to find somebody else.”

Anya, Queen’s Gambit became a global juggernaut. How have your opportunities and choices changed? Is there pressure to strike while the iron is hot?

TAYLOR-JOY I think I’ve always followed character and only recently did I start following directors as well, but it’s always been about, “Do I feel like I’m the right person to tell this story? Do I think I can tell this story correctly?” And if you look at something like Queen’s Gambit, it was not supposed to be the white-hot show; it’s a show about a girl that plays chess for seven hours, but I felt so compelled to tell that story. So, it sounds cheesy, but I really just keep following my heart. OK, wait, I take that back. Something I’m also learning is that you give yourself to this person for three to six months, and I never used to think about this before, but now I start thinking, “Am I ready to give up my life for this person? Do I need to tell this story so badly that I’m going to do that?” I try not to think about what other people will think, because it’s your life at the end of the day. And as we all know, you’re that [character] every hour of the day, and when you go home it’s difficult to let go of them, so you have to really love them.

Mj, you’ve talked about how significant this show was for you and for the visibility of the trans community. How have the opportunities being presented to you post-Pose changed?

RODRIGUEZ In the middle of the third season, I started figuring out my worth, and it’s scary. I was nervous. I didn’t expect to actually book my next job after Pose.

ERIVO I did.

PAULSON We all did.

RODRIGUEZ And see, that’s my insecurity and that’s something I have to fix. I didn’t think it was possible. To get an opportunity like Pose and have myself centered in the story and to end it with hope, and then to get another opportunity with an iconic actress [an Apple TV+ comedy co-starring Maya Rudolph] was surreal. But if I’m still feeling the need for protection as far as my Blackness, my Latina-ness and my trans-ness go, that means there is more work to be done.

Are there doors still not open to the rest of you? Parts you’d love to play if only Hollywood would see you that way?

PAULSON No one has asked me to do a comedy, and I’m a little frustrated about that.

ERIVO And you’re funny as fuck.

PAULSON I spend a lot of time in these worlds where I’m either running or crying or screaming or playing a real person and trying to get their physicality, and I’d really like to do a nice road picture with me and a couple of chicks.

ANDERSON Ooh, I’ll go with you!

PAULSON How about all of us just in a road movie — like, get a Winnebago and let’s go?

ERIVO I’m down.

RODRIGUEZ Yeah, count me in.

ANDERSON I’m 53, Sarah, and I’ve really only been offered comedy in the last three years of my life, and I don’t think that’s because I’m any funnier than I used to be. I think a lot of it is that people just couldn’t fathom it, whether it was that Scully was still in their minds or it was someone else, because I’ve played a lot of dark characters, too. And so they just weren’t coming. And then came [Netflix comedy] Sex Education — and I passed when it first came to me because I didn’t think it was right. It was my partner who proverbially dug it out of the trash.

ERIVO I’ve yet to see a Call Me by Your Name for a Black woman, I have yet to see a piece that allows a woman of color to be sensual and soft and loving and be loved. I’ve just not seen it, and I desperately want to experience that, just because I want to be able to be in that space of vulnerability and lilt. I really want to do that. And that hasn’t come my way. A comedy hasn’t come my way either.

RODRIGUEZ Same. It’s been so hard when it comes to trans women being loved in a sensual way, and I’d love to do something like that.

Elizabeth and Anya, to Sarah’s point, Hollywood likes to keep actors in a lane. How have you avoided that kind of pigeonholing in your careers to date?

TAYLOR-JOY I’ve been saved from a lot of things in my life from pure innocence and naivete, genuinely. My first movie was called The Witch, I got a script immediately afterward that was about, you guessed it, a witch, and I figured, “Wow, why do they want to see me do this again?” So, I was immediately like, “Can I not do anymore witch movies, please?” And my agent was like, “OK. Sure, whatever you say.” I wonder how many people agree with me here because I certainly want to please, but in order to please, I don’t have to give up myself, and actually it’s more important to please myself than it is to please anybody else. I’m giving my heart, my body, my soul, everything to this character, I’m not going to do something because somebody wants me to do it. That doesn’t make any sense and, also, it makes me miserable and then I can’t do my best work. And so if I feel the opportunities that are being given to me aren’t the right ones, then I have to stick my neck out and go, “Hey, I think I could maybe do this, if you’ll give me the opportunity to try.”

How about you, Elizabeth?

OLSEN [In the beginning,] I was just trying so hard to not be put in a box that that’s what was guiding my choices. I knew that I didn’t want to be an actor who was thought of as “youthful and beautiful” and whatever that attachment people like to put onto young women, and so I did everything in my power not [to be seen as] that. But I didn’t have my own pillars of why I wanted to do things beyond just the character. That started to solidify only in the last five years. So I made a lot of odd decisions [after theater school at NYU] because I didn’t know enough about film and the machine of it. Right, Sarah? You were there for that time. We were in Martha Marcy May Marlene, and I remember someone asked me, “You had Sarah Paulson with you, didn’t you know it could be a film people saw?” And I was like …

PAULSON You were like, “Who the fuck is Sarah Paulson?” (Laughter.)

OLSEN No, but independent cinema to me was just, like, going to Quad Cinema in New York and seeing a movie. The theater world is all I understood. So I feel like a moron for going back to theater only once in 10 years. And this conversation with Gillian right now is inspiring.

In light of Elizabeth’s concern about the trap of being perceived as “youthful and beautiful,” how would you all complete this sentence: I wish our male counterparts also had to …

OLSEN Deal with lighting and hair and makeup before doing press. I don’t know what I’m doing.

ERIVO Deal with people believing that you’ve lost your sexuality after the age of 30.

TAYLOR-JOY Had an understanding of what it was like to walk into a room and sometimes have to enforce yourself for people to take you seriously. That ability to just walk into a room and go, “I am valid, I own my space and everybody respects me” — it would be good if they knew what it was like to not have that.

ERIVO And on the flip side, to not have to deal with walking into the room and trying to make sure people aren’t scared of you when you get there.

What do you all know now that you wish you could have told yourself at the beginning of your career?

PAULSON I would like to have told myself that I didn’t need to excise myself from the experience. I was very focused on looking at other actors who had careers that I admired when I was first starting out and wondering what it was about them that made it possible for them to be chosen or employed and I’d often try, in an audition or a social setting, to mimic what I imagined was the desired effect, taking me out of the scenario. And there’s this beautiful Martha Graham-to-Agnes de Mille letter that I used to keep in a dressing room any time I was doing a play, about how there is only one you in all of time and space and that what you see and how you experience things is unique to you. And if you block it, the world will not have it. And as a young person, I thought, “Mute me, mute my opinions, my thoughts, my assessments and try to fill it with other things,” and now I think it’s the exact opposite, so I wish I had known that earlier. But I’ll take knowing it now [over] never knowing it at all.

RODRIGUEZ I would have told my younger self that my existence is worth it. When I was younger, I tried to fit into this mold of what a woman should do — you know, keep your legs crossed, always bow down to a man. But we don’t have to live in that world anymore. It’s a new day.

It is, and that’s a good place to end. Thank you all for sharing your time and your stories.

ERIVO I know we’re supposed to finish, but do you know what’s occurred to me as I’ve listened to every one of you? I remember where I was when I watched every single one of you — and I remember what I was dealing with or going through. I was watching you, Sarah, when I was shooting Aretha. I was watching you, Elizabeth, when I was in London on my own, and you, Anya, when I was in Atlanta. Mj, I remember watching a season of Pose while I was shooting The Outsider. And Gillian, I watched you when I was in a hotel with my partner outside of London. And I remember what happened. And so your performances aren’t just brilliant, your performances get to be Post-its in all of our lives, and so I thank you for that.

PAULSON That’s a very beautiful way to put it …

ANDERSON It also brings us back full circle to what Anya said at the beginning, which is, “Oh my God, I have to keep reminding myself that people are going to watch this.” But actually, thank God that people are watching it, because we’ve touched each other’s lives and numerous other people’s lives just by focusing on the thing that we love most.

TAYLOR-JOY And the importance of these conversations is the honesty, because it’s very easy for us to get locked into our own heads of this as an individual experience — “There’s something wrong with me,” or “Everybody else is doing really great and nobody else grieves their characters,” or whatever your version of that is in whatever industry you’re in. But having honest conversations with people who are willing to be vulnerable just makes me feel so much less alone.

PAULSON The next time you feel that way, text me. I’ll remind you. I’d also like to say that there’s this [perception] of women being pitted against one another and not being there for one another, and this conversation is diametrically opposed, in that what we are actually saying is that each of us has been buoyed by and inspired by the work of everyone here. So, I may not watch anything I do, but I sure as hell am watching all of you.

Press: “It’s a New Day”: THR Drama Actress Roundtable was originally published on Elizabeth Olsen Source • Your source for everything Elizabeth Olsen

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luxshine · 4 years ago

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Supernatural and the Dark Tower... Or how some writers are better gods than others.

The Dark Tower, by Stephen King, has a very interesting take on endings at the end of the seven book long journey Roland the Gunslinger took to reach the title Dark Tower. I was going to write it all but it’s about two pages long, and if you haven’t read the books it may not make much sense. However, the main take is that there is no such thing as happy endings, but there are endings that are happy enough. That the ending he gave us, with Roland reaching the tower, and Susannah meeting Eddie and Jake in Central Park is one of those, and that if we, his Constant Readers, go on reading the last pages of the Coda, we will be “disappointed, perhaps even heartbroken”. That “Endings are heartless. Ending is just another word for goodbye.”

I keep thinking about those lines when I think of Supernatural’s 15x19 and 15x20.

15x19 is not a perfect ending. I mean, we’re still missing people, Jack saying he’ll be hands off is not really nice, and Cas is still in the Empty. BUT we have hope. The Brothers are free. And just as we can imagine (And King tells us it might happen) how Susannah and Eddy and Jake may meet a dog version of Oy (If you’ve read the books, it makes sense. If not, well, just trust me that it is a happy situation), we can picture Dean hitting the books, and he and Sam finding a way to get Castiel back, human or angelic depending on your preferred tea, and Sam reuniting with Eileen. And afterwards? Well, you decide. Whatever happens, we still have hope.

It’s not Happily Ever After, but as King says, it’s good enough. We could’ve stopped there and pick our own ending. But of course, there’s still 15x20. And when we saw it, we were certainly disappointed, even if we weren’t heartbroken (I was, but I digress)

Just as King warned us not to keep going in the Dark Tower Coda, someone should’ve warned us not to keep going to the end of Supernatural. And here, doing a full circle on the meta, I warn you that if you keep reading, I will go on spoilers for The Dark Tower AND Supernatural (Of course, if you got to Supernatural 15x20 and are heartbroken over it… you probably remember what happened in seasons 4, 5 and 9 so … those wouldn’t be spoilers)

If you’re still with me, I am sorry, I am about to go on a long, long diatribe about how the Dark Tower is an amazing meta tale, even if the end made me cry in public for the first time in years while reading a book. And how Supernatural, by accident or by intent, tried to do the same and kind of went the wrong way in Albuquerque when it could’ve been a lot better.

Yes, Supernatural could’ve been better than a Stephen King book, and that coming from me is high, HIGH praise.

See, The Dark Tower is a tale about well, a lot of things, but in the axis, in the tower, so to speak, is a tale about tales. About stories and how we relate to fiction and about how we, the readers, relate to fiction. Of course, this is REALLY subtextual, since the actual story is about a sort of medieval cowboy traveling across dimensions to save the axis of existence.

It’s a complicated series of books.

In any case, around book 6, Roland, our cowboy, ends up in the real world. Our real world. And he meets Stephen King, OUR Stephen King (Well, a douchier version of King, to be fair), who upon being confronted by his own characters has a big ego boost and declares himself a god.

Pretty much like Chuck did back in the Monster at the End of the Book, except that there, he changed his mind pretty quickly and went back to his “meek prophet” disguise. King didn’t, by the way, and Roland left that world even LESS impressed than the Winchesters with their own author.

Now, we all know that at the End of season 5, it so happened that Chuck WAS God, and we got confirmation back in season 9 when he still liked fan fiction and his characters, apparently, until he went all megalomaniac “I am a God and I can destroy you if you don’t follow my plot”… thing is? King did the opposite.

See, The characters had to go back to the real world to save King from a drunk truck driver that ran over him in real life. In the book, one of the characters even sacrifices himself for it. But now, King is no longer so full of himself that he thinks he’s a god and he deserves said sacrifice. He admits he, as a writer, is only telling the story that the real god, in this case Gan, lets him see. He only has keys to peek through doors of reality, and what he writes, is what he sees. Not what he wants, not what he thinks is better, but what the CHARACTERS want.

So yeah, the opposite of Chuck.

But then, The Dark Tower goes a bit further. Once again, comparing ends, the End of Supernatural left us empty because it WAS a Goodbye. A bad one too as it left us with absolute no hope (except for those fix it fics where Dean goes and finds out why his angel is ghosting him in Heaven, for fucks sake, and Sam’s blurry face wife is Eileen, but those are FICS. Not the story). The story ends with Sam and Dean dead, in a Heaven that may be as well Earth-lite as far as we know, but we have no real way of knowing if it’s not just a bigger version of the original “repeat your happy memories ad nauseaum”

No change, no free will. No to be Continued, no hope of a better life. Just… End. Bye. Nothing more to see.

The end to the Dark Tower is equally heartbreaking ,but at the same time, a bit more hopeful.

Because in that universe, characters whose stories end? If they keep going, they go back to the beginning. Not to the beginning of time, or of their lives but to the Beginning of THEIR Story. For one brief moment they know this is happening, that they’re back in that first opening sentence, that they will have to suffer through all of it again UNCHANGING and all the joy will happen, but also all the sadness. All the tragedy. And then they forget. And the story starts again, because the story is a book, and a book can only have one plot, one ending, and re-reading it won’t change what happened.

Roland cries and begs for mercy, but the Tower is unmoving and he goes back. We, the Readers, go Back.

EXCEPT

There’s a tiny, small change from the “beginning” we read now, to the beginning we read in the first book. We’re told that the time we read was not the first time, that Roland has done this a thousand times before. But this time, we went with him, so he gets a small change, a tiny thing, but big because, in Roland subconscious, may mean that this time, the story will be different. So we’re left with a tiny bit of hope, despite how badly we were crushed seconds before.

And Supernatural could’ve given us that. Not the same of course, not with Dean or Sam (Let’s be honest, it would’ve been probably Sam, given how much the writer’s room loved him) waking up in the pilot, Remembering all that happened, and knowing that they can’t really change it because it was already written, but then noticing they already have the Colt, or Ruby’s knife. Or perhaps they have the key to the bunker and a map already. That would’ve been too close to comfort for plagiarism so nope.

BUT

We could’ve ended with Billie closing one of her books and telling Dean, the Dean from season 12, that that COULD be how his story ends, and that he now has the choice to make his own ending, that he can either go against Chuck or convince Chuck his ending was crap.

We could’ve ended with Sam convincing Chuck that there’s another road to the ending he wants, as long as he lets them go on. He may be bored of the characters now, but he can always wait for a bit.

With Chuck giving the reins of his world to Becky and the fangirls, really closing on the whole “death of the author” and not ruining a character that, prior to season 15, the fandom loved.

With a thousand of ways that left both the meta world intact, and our hearts hurt, but not broken. Not angry.

(And that is not touching on the usual misogyny, racism, and heteronormative that the ending insisted on reinforcing)

Supernatural could’ve ended with a bang, and become an absolute legend. Instead, it ended with a whimper, and as a cautionary tale.

There’s no such thing as a happy ending, said King. But we could have had a Hopeful one.

#anti supernatural finale #dean deserved better #sam deserved better #castiel deserved better #eileen deserved better #they all deserved better #stephen king #meta #what could've been #what should have been #and no #it has nothing to do with shipping

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marvelousell · 5 years ago

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The Agreement (Part 13.)

Pairing(s): frat boy!fwb!Tom x reader, frat boy!Harrison x reader

Summary: Tom is a typical frat boy, his love for partying, drinks and girls are bigger than his ego. Y/N is a whole different dimension, she keeps her circle small, and even though she knows her best friend Tom is a total douche, she can’t say no to the little deal that was sealed between the two of them.

Word count: 2.9k

A/N: Sooo much things, there were actually more scenes for this part but I split it for another chapter so I could start with the ideas for the 2 different endings🤷🏼‍♀️ (kinda already know what I will do for Tom🤫). Well hope you enjoy it and have a wonderful Friday! ❤️

Warnings: mentions of smut, swearing, mentions of alcohol, angst if you squint

Add yourself to my tag list || Masterlist

< Previous Part

I broke the rules way before we even set them and before we agreed on anything.

Tom stared at the message you sent, shocked, his mouth dry with a breath stuck in his throat from the words that you have written. He couldn’t bring his fingers to the screen to text you back.

He didn’t know what to think or say to you in return, thinking that maybe it’s the best to ignore it. Happiness filled his body, heart pounding fast from the thought that you felt the same. Once he didn’t care if a girl had a boyfriend, it in fact grew his confidence and ego knowing that girls were more into him than their own partners. Now it didn’t seem right even if he was in love with you and wanted to actually be the person he truly is with a girl he genuinely likes.

The message haunted him, not letting him rest. His figure was turning in bed, groaning from the nervousness that kept his body and mind awake this late. Tom was always a calm guy sleeping peacefully every night, he didn’t care about the heartbreaks and tears he caused to many girls. He now knew how it felt, the thoughts about numerous girls and his blindness made him feel sick to his stomach. If only he wasn’t stuck in his own world, surrounded with the influence from his frat members and a heartbreak from a girl in who he saw everything, things would be fine nowadays. What should he do now? Apologize to every girl to make it better so he could sleep calmly at night? Probably not because most of them didn’t want to see him. They were always loud and clear that he was a total ass.

“What are you doing?” Tom asked, looking at the redhead that was getting a bit too comfortable in his bed after the long and rough sex they had.

“Going to sleep?” She responded, clutching the sheets to her chest.

“I don’t think so love.” He breathed out a chuckle, grabbing his boxers that were discharged near his chair.

“What?” She did know who Tom was and what people talked about him and his frat, but she still didn’t want to believe it hoping she would maybe be the one to blow his mind.

“Grab your things and go home.” Tom’s cold voice sent chills down her spine, he was into this a few minutes ago what happened now?

“Are you being serious right now?”

“Did I stutter? Here are your clothes, get dressed and go. What part don’t you understand?” He threw the clothes on her, her eyes fixed on his face. She could literally kill him with her stare in that moment.

“You’re such a fucking asshole. I thought you liked me.” Her movements were fast, she was ashamed, the feeling of being used disgusted her. How could he be so cold?

“Liked you? Love, things don’t go like this. What made you think you were special Mckenna?” Tom slipped into his bed, tired from the sex and the alcohol in his system.

“It’s Mikaela and fuck off. People are really right about you, you’re an egocentric prick that thinks he could have anyone he wants. One day you will realize that the world doesn’t revolve around you and that using girls is going to cost you but it will be too late.”

“I got you tonight didn’t I?” Tom joked and laughed at her words, making Mikaela more furious and sad. She just remained silent, realizing that he was to stupid to get what she was saying.

“Hey, just be quiet my frat mates are sleeping or something and you can also lock the door when you leave.” The only answer he got was a loud bang that roared in his room, the door almost breaking as she slammed it.

That words got to his brain now. She was definitely right it was too late.

Tom wasn’t the only one that was unable to sleep that night. You were on Harrison’s chest nestled close to him, eyes closed but you didn’t sleep at all like he thought you were. Your chest tightened after the realization that you won’t get a text back from Tom. Maybe you screwed everything up now? Maybe you should have been happy that he was back into your life as a friend and leave it there, you already had someone that fulfilled your dreams. It was just a maybe.

Harrison was the third person awake. He had his arm around you, so happy to know that things were fine between the two of you. Somehow a little feeling didn’t let him close his eyes. He was focused on your breathing and your arms that hugged him tightly like you were afraid he will escape. Everything about you made him feel content and calm. You were his safe place and the love you gave him made him feel like a whole new person. Harrison loved you, he really did but he couldn’t comprehend why Emily occupied his mind tonight. He tried to convince himself it was only because he didn’t saw her in a long time and the conversation, you and everything was too much for him in one night. You could hear him exhaling, dropping his palm to your hair caressing it gently. A small smile formed on your lips, knowing that after all he was there for you and you should be there for him too.

It was 2 in the morning and both you and Harrison almost drifted to sleep, but the sounds of receiving a message made you wide awake again. Your heartbeat sped up just from the thought of Tom, and Harrison’s stopped right at that moment not knowing from who it was. It was his phone, his movements were slow because he didn’t want to wake you up. Disappointment replaced the excitement but curiosity was eating you alive mostly. Who was texting him that late at night? She was the only one that you could think of and when you heard him laughing quietly you couldn’t stay still anymore in the same position. Both Tom and Harrison were making you confused. It was hard to choose what you needed in your life.

“Good morning to you too. Did someone steal your morning coffee?”

“Hilarious Anna, look at me I’m crying from laughter.”

“Why so sour today? You know your little neighbour Emma is trying with a lemonade stand? She needs some more lemons there you could definitely help her.” Anna joked, waiting for your mouth to curve into a smile after her stupid joke but unfortunately nothing changed, your mouth still set in a hard line.

“I didn’t sleep well.” You replied in a monotone voice.

“Troubles in paradise?” She questioned, raising her eyebrows waiting for you to say anything related to Harrison or Tom.

“You could say so.”

“Come on Y/N what happened.”

“I honestly don’t know where to begin.” You were exhausted, still worried about your and Harrison’s message. Emily was a gorgeous girl, maybe some feelings were still there? You were angry just from the slightest thought of that, yet you had strong feelings for his best friend. It was selfish, not fair at all, you knew that but you did love him just like you love Tom.

“Kinda worried about Emily.” You leaned your back on the tree you were under, observing the group of students outside.

“What did he say that night?”

“That I misunderstood everything. That they were just talking and sorting things out, that it never crossed his mind to do anything and that I’m the one for him.” Your voice calm, soft towards the end as you remembered his words from that night. Harrison was a treasure, of course you were worried, anyone would love to share a life with him and you would too only if the old feelings weren’t a stupid obstacle.

“Sounds like Harrison. He is the most truthful guy I know. If you ask me nothing to worry about here, you both are doing wonderful.” “And looks like Tom is doing wonderful as well over there.” Anna chuckled, clapping her hands moving her gaze from Tom to you trying to catch your reaction.

Tom and Evelyn? Evelyn as Evelyn from History? How did that happen?

Evelyn was an introverted, stunning girl with an even more beautiful personality. She was a total opposite from the girls that Tom brought to his frat and interacted with on a daily basis. You were glad that he didn’t go for the same, tedious girls, however you couldn’t ignore the knots in your stomach as well as the heart stumbling over its own rhythm when you saw them together. You were jealous and downhearted that he didn’t acknowledge your message and the truth about your feelings.

Anna could see how your jaw tensed from the sight, how your forehead puckered when you saw both of them laughing. Anna didn’t know about them, it was a first and just like you she was once angry to see him change girls every single day not because she was in love with him but because she knew that he was a good guy, because this life isn’t what he wanted.

It was a secret. A stupid thing that happened between them during a summer ending party. They agreed to never tell anyone. Anna would never forgive herself if you found out, especially from someone else so it stayed unsaid. Both of them were shit-faced, laying on the ground laughing uncontrollably.

“We’re probably going to be here until tomorrow.” Tom laughed, knowing that they were too drunk to move a muscle.

“Yeah and I’m stuck with your annoying ass here.” Anna said jokingly, feeling his body getting close to hers.

“My annoying ass? I am extremely interesting if I can add that.” He tried not to stare at his best friend’s tits that looked amazing tonight, but it was like his eyes were glued onto them. Typical Tom.

“Yes? How should I know that?” Anna could feel his eyes on her, she was never into him and she never will be, but alcohol was messing with her head at that moment.

“Should I show you then?” Her body stiffened and before she nodded he pressed his lips on hers while his hands slipped underneath her skirt.

Nothing happened more than kissing and touching and she was glad that they both passed out from the tiredness and amount of alcohol they drank. But still she was feeling stupid because that happened and because he ignored her afterwards. Anna was feeling stupid because the thought of doing something with a boy you loved was eating her alive.

“At least it’s a lovely girl now.” Anna tried to get a reaction out of you, you still looked at him like he was the most wonderful thing you saw. It was the same look he gave you at Amelia’s birthday. She was against you having something with Tom only because you were a soft-hearted girl, a great friend and you deserved someone like Harrison that cared about his partner, not a one time thing. But now she wasn’t sure if you both needed to suffer like that, however she didn’t want to say anything because you didn’t fully open your heart to her.

“Good for him.” You mumbled, bringing your eyes back to the book that was untouched ever since you came here.

Harrison didn’t know why or how he agreed on a quick coffee in the coffee shop down the road. If he was honest, the message from that night was a total surprise, he hoped to not hear anything from Emily that soon.

Sorry if I got you in a sticky situation. -Emily

Harrison wasn’t that guy to sleep next to his loved one and text an ex one. He never was and never will be, however he couldn’t explain what was happening at that moment feeling like a complete dumbass. Just like he couldn’t explain the coffee he was supposed to have with Emily. Maybe he just wanted to sort their thing out and finish it forever today.

“Thank you for coming, you know.” Emily almost stuttered, feeling like a teenager again on her first date.

Her breath hitched in her lungs, she was over him right? This was a normal reaction after not seeing him for a long period of time. Emily couldn’t believe she would ever see those eyes and curls after they split that night. Many bitter words were said and so much tears were shed that she thought he wouldn’t even look at her after it in the future if they ever meet somewhere.

“No problem.” He gave her a polite smile before sitting down.

“Got you your usual latte hope you still like it.” Emily missed those days that would start with latte and toast. Everything came back to her at that moment. She didn’t know if it was the smile or his beautiful voice that made it harder to speak.

“Thank you, but I’m an Irish type of guy now.” He added, the scent of the latte in front of him bringing him back to his last flat and mornings that would be full of lazy kisses and snuggles. He didn’t want to remember any of it, he had great mornings now, even better than the previous ones.

“O-Oh sorry didn’t know that.” Harrison just nodded, not knowing what to say.

The silence was awkward, they could feel the thick tension in the air, but neither of them started a conversation. Harrison could see her mouth twitching, it was a thing that happened to Emily when she was nervous. He couldn’t help but smile as he remembered the first time laughing together at that action.

“I’m s-sorry if this is awkward for you after all those years, shouldn’t called you especially now because you have a girlfriend, someone could misinterpret it.” Emily began, still without an answer if he asked why she called him. She didn’t know, but she just needed to see him.

“Emily it’s fine honestly.” Was it thought?

“No. It’s not. I’m sorry for what I put you through. I was stupid okay? Yes I still had feelings for Anthony I thought about him a lot and the marriage? God that was a breaking point for me. You showered me with so much love and attention hoping everything will be all right between us but I fucked it all up.” The tears pooled in her eyes, a lump in her throat was forming making it almost impossible to finish her sentence.

“Just wanted to let you know that you really made me happy in our relationship even if I didn’t show you sometimes and that I figured it out a little bit to late. Just want to know that you forgave me. Nothing else.” She added, avoiding his gaze that would just make it worse for her.

“I already did Emily. A long time ago.” He admitted, his voice soft, eyes on her hair that was once long. Harrison felt his stomach drop after he realized that he was admiring her, remembering every inch of her body and her habits. He didn’t want to feel like this, he had you.

“Don’t cry now please.” His arm extended, reaching out for hers. It was a habit, like a reflex movement.

“I’m so glad you’re happy now.”

For the first time Harrison didn’t confirm that. Yes, he knew deep inside that he indeed was happy but he couldn’t figure it out why he couldn’t say that to her.

“I hope she didn’t misunderstood that evening at the party.”

“Don’t worry.”

They both shared some small talks, giggles and the now cold coffee. It felt good, the reunion both warmed up their hearts like nothing stopped between them. You would cross his mind every now and then, making him anxious. He questioned himself what he was doing or why is he here with a girl that broke his heart and didn’t let him have a loving relationship? He really did, but somehow the thoughts would vanish and he would continue to enjoy his time with Emily.

“We should repeat this. I mean only if you want. As friends of course.” Emily was beaming, heart beating rapidly because of the scent of his cologne and the genuine smile that was plastered upon his face.

“Sure.”

Harrison watched her leave while he sat in his car trying to understand what was happening, and why he said yes for the second time. God he had you, how unfair would it be to treat you like this after you gave him a new chance for love. He didn’t do anything, but he knew that the insecurity would definitely bug him if you agreed on something like this. It was now Harrison’s turn to think about this and see what to do.

Tag List

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#tom holland #tom holland imagine #tom holland fanfic #tom holland smut #tom holland fluff #tom holland x reader #tom holland blurb #harrison osterfield fluff #harrison osterfield fanfic #harrison osterfield #harrison osterfield imagine #harrison osterfield smut #harrison osterfield blurb #fwb!tom

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youllneverknowrac · 5 years ago

Text

Oscar Diaz-First Day Out

Leave a request!

For @honestlytrulyv

You stand outside the prison gates, squinting from the bright sun and leaning against Oscar’s car. Today was finally the day you have been looking forward too for so long. Cesar and you had talked about this exact day all the time when Oscar had first gotten locked up. However as the years passed Cesar didn’t want to come see his brother any more or talk to him on the phone as much. So you weren’t really surprised that he decided to back out last minute and stay behind with his friends. You got a little upset with him, but calmed down when he said he would be at the party you had planned for tonight. You had actually planned this whole day out for Oscar as you guys drive back down to Freeridge. After picking him up you guys were going to eat the greasiest food you can find, then you were going to let him stop to get a proper hair cut and shave, and lastly now that Cesar wasn’t here you were going to drive over to a rest stop just outside of town to get in the proper attention you both deserve, since you two most likely wouldn’t be alone again until after the party.

You’re pulled from your thoughts when you hear the loud squeaking of the gates opening up, Oscar walking out in the familiar outfit that he was arrested in. You feel your heart clench, the tears already making a appearance as you run towards him.

“Finally.” You hear him sigh as you crash into him, Oscar wrapping his arms tightly around you and burying his face into your neck as he breaths in your familiar scent.

“Hi.” You say, your voice quivering,”You’re really here?”

“I’m here nena. I’m here.” He says pulling back to cup your face in his hands,”I’m here.” He repeats, as if at any moment this could all be a dream and he would wake up in his tiny cell again,”Kiss me.” He softly demands, pressing your lips to his with so much passion and fire. You stand on your tiptoes and tug him closer to you as you return the kiss. It seems as if time has slowed down, the small act of affection in reality only lasting a minute at the latest,”Let’s get the fuck out of here.” He says and pulls you toward his car,”My other baby.” Oscar whistles as he walks around the car,”Let me see the keys mami.”

You giggle and pull out the keys from your pocket before tossing them to him, Oscar catching them with ease,”You better get use to how clingy I’m going to be for the next few days.” You warn him after you slide into the car, presses up next to him.

“Please be clingy.” Oscar grins and places his arm behind you, putting the keys in the ignition and pulling out of the lot.

“What do you want to eat papi? I know you’ve been thinking about it.” You ask a few minutes into the drive.

“Damn you do know me better than I thought.” He chuckles as he drives down the long dirt road and off of the prison property completely,”I want a big bowl of birria and a quesadilla con queso y pastor along with a michelada. I’ve had this fucking meal in my head for the past few days now.” He admits, his stomach rumbling on cue.

You laugh and nod in agreement,”Okay, I’m sure we can find that.” You tell him, which turned out to be right. Twenty minutes later you guys sat inside a packed, run down restaurant, already having ordered as little old Mexican lady’s run around, trying to get everything in check.

“The more run down the better the food.” Oscar says as he grabs a chip, drawing it in the green salsa before he eats it in one bite,”So are you going to tell me why Cesar isn’t with us? Or are we just avoiding that?” Oscar asks curiously, not upset per say, well at least not with you.

“He’ll be at the party tonight papi. I think he was just nervous plus he’s not the same little boy he was. He’s older and more wise. He likes to hang out with his friends and go out to do stupid teenager shit with them. I think he’s even seeing some girl. I may or may not have heard him in his room a few months ago.” You shudder at the memory,”So its not you, it’s literally him. We’re not even that close anymore.” You exaggerate just a bit, Cesar was changing but you guys still talked and hung out as if you two were the siblings. You weren’t going to tell that to Oscar though. The truth was Cesar had just grown pissed at the fact that Oscar got sent to prison. He didn’t understand how Oscar can even be involved with a gang. You tried to explain and reason with him but gave up after a while. This was something the two of them would have to resolve on their own.

Oscar takes in your words, sighing in agreement,”I just miss his ass, I was hoping he would be here.” He shrugs, playing it off as he puts another chip in his mouth.

“Hey, I’m here.” You smile and lightly kick his leg under the table,”Besides it’s a good thing he didn’t come.” You wink playfully, blowing a kiss his way.

“Don’t.” Oscar groans and clenches his jaw,”You can’t talk to me like that right now mami. It’s been too fucking long and my hand wasn’t worth a shit in the pen.”

You giggle and reach for a chip yourself,”I’m sorry. I’ll be on my best behavior.” You joke and eat the salty fried tortilla before taking a drink of your limonada.

“We can save all that shit for later. Trust me.” Oscar informs with a shake of his head before taking a drink from his spicy flavored beer.

“Okay.” You say simply. You knew where he was coming from, you had went with out his touch as long as he has gone without yours. You can’t help but stare at him as he drinks and eats, you had missed this so much. You and Oscar were notorious for stuffing your guys faces everyday. You didn’t just miss that obviously, you missed every single thing.

You guys talk about the future, a small hand touch here and there, before the mass amount of food you two had ordered is being placed down on the table.

“Gracias.” Oscar tells the waiter, you offering a smile instead,”I don’t know where to start.”

“I do.” You sing as you reach for a taco de barbacoa. Taking half of it in one bite.

“Fat ass.” Oscar jokes as he leans over to wipe the side of your mouth.

“Yeah? Look who’s talking. I thought prison was suppose to make your swole not get a gut.” You joke, in all honestly he did get more fit, but you weren’t about to boost his ego.

“Chill mamas. I’m just playing with you.” Oscar chuckles, grabbing a quesadilla and dipping it in the soup before taking a bite. His eyes shutting as he savors something other than prison food for the first time,”Damn.” He mumbles in between bites. You smile as you see him enjoy his meal, something you take for granted out here in the free world.

“I’m glad you like it papi.” You tell him, grabbing something else to try.

After getting stuffed and paying for the food you decide to let Oscar drive a bit more closer to home before pulling over for a haircut.

Now you didn’t want to exactly sit in a barbershop and watch Oscar get his hair lined up and shaved, if this was any other day you would have told him to go by himself. However, if there was one thing he talked about missing more than you and Cesar it would be a getting a proper haircut. So as Oscar sits in the chair, giddy like a little boy you can’t help but be excited that you are even able to be here with him.

After you pay for the haircut, Oscar not liking that but not really having a choice, you to get back in the car to head the rest of the way to Freeridge.

“Damn papi. You look good.” You say, leaning over to kiss his cheek, Oscar’s grin wide as he drives. Already feeling like a brand new man.

“Can we stop over at lookout point?” You ask,”I have a surprise.”

“I thought the surprise was at the house.” Oscar says knowingly.

“Oh my good! Who told you? Was it sad eyes? Don’t even answer that, I know it was his stupid ass.” You groan

“Yeah, it was him. He spilled that info like a week ago, but I figured you would be throwing one anyway.” Oscar laughs

“Fine, there is a party but it’s not until later. So just listen and drive because I don’t want to have to share your attention just yet.” You pout

“I’ll do whatever you want nena.” Oscar says as he takes the exit, driving a few miles down the road until he pulls to a stop just feet away from the cliff. The other parking spaces empty just like they usually are.

As soon as he takes his hands off the steering wheel your climbing over and straddling him, your lips finding his with ease. Oscar responds quickly and wraps his arms around you, deepening the kiss as he forces his tongue into your mouth.

You don’t know why but a few minutes in to the heated make out session you become overwhelmed with emotions,”I’m sorry.” You say and pull back from Oscar, covering your face as you begin to cry,”I don’t know why I’m crying.” You tell him a dry laugh escaping after embarrassingly. Oscar gently grabs your hands and pulls them away, looking at you with concerned eyes.

“Talk to me mami.” He tells you as you take a deep shaky breath.

“I’m just really happy.” You reply as you use your fingers to wipe under your eyes,”These last four years I felt like a piece of me was missing and now your back and I feel complete. It’s stupid I know, I didn’t mean to kill the mood and be such a cry baby.”

“Aye, it’s not stupid Y/N. I put you through four years of heartbreak. I know that baby. Every time you came to visit me I could seen the pain in your eyes even though you tried to hide it behind a smile. I can never repay you for all that you did while I was away. That’s why you’re my forever, mi corazón.(my heart)” Oscar says, each word more powerful than the last,”I know you’re to good for me. You can object all you want but we both know it’s true. You deserve someone who can put you in a mansion and spoil you like the reina(queen) that you are. Yet you put up with me and stayed by my side through my whole prison sentence along with taking care of my little brother. That’s why I’m going to spend the rest of my life making it up to you. So cry mami, get it all out right now because after today I don’t want to see tears come from your eyes that are caused by me.”

“I’m always going to stay by your side. No matter what because to me you’re always going to be good enough for me. Better than good enough. You’re my perfect half Oscar Diaz.” You say, blinking back the last few tears,”I’ll love you forever.”

“Yo también te quiero.”

The drive back to the house was quick and silent. Oscar holding your hand with his as you looked out the window enjoying the peacefulness. You couldn’t wait for more nights like this. Driving around with Oscar, the music blasting and the windows rolled down as you scream you heart out to the lyrics.

“Looks like they wasted no time in getting the party started.” Oscar says pulling into the driveway. The yard filled with people,loud music coming from both inside and outside.

“They never do.” You laugh and open up the car door to get out. Members of Los Santos instantly coming over to greet ‘Spooky’ in hugs and handshakes. You follow behind, letting the spotlight be on him for a while before you grab his arm,”Go hang out, I’ll bring you a drink.” You tell him, Oscar nodding and giving you a peck before getting dragged away. You try and spot Cesar but to no avail. You send him a quick text before heading into the crowded house to grab him a cold drink.

You smile at a few familiar faces in your search for Oscar, going over when you spot him sitting down outside on the couch that desperately needed to be thrown out,”Here you go.” You tell him as you squeeze your self down in between him and sad eyes,”Move it.” You joke with the tall skinny gang banger as you hand Oscar the cold can.

“Aye he’s my boyfriend too or did you forget?” He smirks, nudging your arm.

“Oh yeah? I’m sure your hyna would love to hear that.” You say amusingly, his blonde headed girlfriend a mere few feet away dancing with some other girls,”Surprised she stayed with you this long.” You tease, remembering her from a few weeks ago at the graduation party that was held. Sad eyes forcing you to tag along.

“Aye the hynas love me, she knows she’s going to have to share. Spooky included.” He says and pops his chest out as you scoff in disgust.

“Yeah fool? Well it looks like you may have some competition. Does the sharing rule apply to her too?” Oscar tells him and nods over to some guy that was trying to chat up his girl. Sad eyes gets up with a vengeance and heads over to deal with the problem, you and Oscar laughing at the scene.

“Enjoying your party so far?” You ask and lean your head on his shoulder.

“I am.” He reply’s and takes a drink of his beer,”Thought you said Cesar would be here?”

“I texted him. He probably fell asleep at Ruby’s. He told me he was going to show up, I don’t think he would intentionally bail.” You tell him reassuringly, not believing your own words,”I’m sure he’ll show up.”

“He better.” Oscar huffs

“Well...in the meantime how about a dance?” You ask, trying to play off the situation as you jump to your feet and grab Oscar’s free hand. He takes it and stands up letting you lead him more into the yard as some reggae song begins to play. You spin around and press your backside to Oscar, moving to beat of the song as Oscar grabs your hips and grinds against you while taking the occasional sip of his drink. Near the end of it he hugs you from behind, the two of you still dancing against each other as you turn your head to kiss him feverishly.

“Spooky come smoke!” You hear someone yell, causing you to stop your actions with a sigh.

“Go.” You smile against his lips,”I know you want too.”

“You’ll have all my attention tonight mamacita.” Oscar says seriously before walking away. You let him actually have some time with his friends as you head back in and sit with some of the other girlfriends that you were closer with. All of them bringing up how they were so happy for you and what they would do in your situation. You could only take about twenty minutes of the constant chit chat before excusing yourself and heading into the bedroom that you’ve had to sleep alone in for many nights. You lay back on the bed and kick off your shoes, pulling your phone out when you feel it buzzing, Cesars face popping up on your screen.

“Where are you?” You ask

“I’m walking home now. I just wanted to chill with my friends a little longer Y/N. Now that Oscar’s home I probably won’t get to do that any more.” He replies

“What are you talking about? What does him being home have to do with your friends.” You ask with a raised eyebrow, confusion laced in your tone.

“I’m going to just end up getting jumped into the gang, it’s inevitable and you know it. I don’t want to drag my friends into that lifestyle.”

“Is that why you’ve been acting strange? You think Oscar’s going to make you join Los Santos? Are you kidding me Cesar? He wouldn’t do that. If he even tried I would personally kill him. How did you even come up with that idea?” You ask him, obviously you loved your boyfriend but the gang life was not something you would want for Cesar.

“It’s life Y/N. It’s my destiny.” Unknown to you in just 6 weeks Cesar would in fact be getting jumped in.

“It’s not destiny, ugh look just hurry and get home. You don’t need to think about your brother like that , me and you will have a talk later. He wants to see you Cesar, he’s been stuck in a cell for four years so don’t come here and say any smart remarks about Los Santos or whatever you have in your head.” You warn him,”It’s suppose to be a happy day, so be happy.”

“Fine Y/N. I’ll be cool.” You hear him sigh in defeat.

“Good. Hurry up, you know it’s not safe to be walking the streets at night by yourself.” You tell him before hanging the phone up and flopping back down on the bed.

“That’s why he’s been so distant the past few years?” You hear a voice come from the door way.

“I guess...I knew it had to do something with you and the gang but not to that extent.” You say admittedly, turning around on the bed to face your boyfriend,”It makes sense for him to think like that Oscar you can’t really be upset.”

“Still, he didn’t have to pull away from me. We could have talked about that shit. If he really doesn’t want to be a part of Los Santos of course I’d back him up. He just wouldn’t be able to run to me or my homies if he ever gets into trouble. And trouble is always stirring up.”

“Well then he can run to me.” You shrug,”And then I’ll run to you and you love me to much to not help.” You smile and stand up,”Let’s go enjoy the rest of your party. He should be here any minute anyway.” You say not wanting to talk about any of this right now.

“Aight, fine.” He gives in and takes your hand to head back out to the front yard, letting you slide your shoes on first. He takes his seat once more, this time pulling you into his lap. He lights up a cigarette and makes conversation with the Santo next to him as you zone in and out of the conversation not really interested in what the Prophets had going on.

“Mano!” You hear Cesar call out as he walks up the drive. You smile and slide your self onto the arm rest so Oscar can get up to properly greet his little brother.

“Look at you fool! Finally hit puberty and shit.” Oscar says and pulls him into a hug, talking into his ear as they hold each other for a few moments. Probably saying that they would sit down and talk tomorrow about everything. They slowly release each other, the both of them joining you on the couch.

“Thanks for not bailing...you’re gonna be on clean up duty for getting here so late.” You tell Cesar quietly, who reluctantly agrees, before turning your attention back to Oscar for the remainder of the party, smiling as Cesar plays nice and actually talks to Oscar about what he’s been up.

��Have fun!” You call out to the younger brother who held a trash bag in his hand, picking up all the garbage that had formed, at least sad eyes offered his help so Cesar wasn’t completely alone,”Because we sure are.” You say softly to Oscar as you practically

drag him into the bedroom and slam the door.

“Side note, not on birth control anymore so make sure you pull out.” You tell him as the two of you quickly undress, not wanting to waste anytime.

“That’s okay with me.” He answers, grabbing you as soon as every article of clothes was gone and on the floor,”Fuck, I’ve been dreaming of this moment for so long.” He groans, grabbing a handful of your ass, tossing you on the bed after.

“Me too.” You say as you meet his gaze, sitting up on your elbows and waiting for his next move.

Oscar grabs your ankle and pulls you to the edge of the bed causing you to yelp in surprise. He kisses up your leg, getting to your thigh and beginning to leave a love bite,”Ah fuck.” You say and grab onto his head, the skin getting sensitive when he does it for a little to long.

“Sorry mamas.” Oscar chuckles and looks back at the large bruise in delight, moving to you other thigh to repeat the process.

You bite down on your lower lip and grip the bed sheets,”Fuck Oscar!” You squeak,”Enough papi.” You say as you take deep breaths, your thighs in pleasurable pain.

“I can’t help it, I just want to mark you up and let everybody know that I’m back.” He admits as he bends your right leg up,”Let me make it up to you.” You nod eagerly in agreement and look down at him as he inches closer to your throbbing core.

As soon as you feel his tongue on you, your head gets thrown back and your eyes squeeze shut. Small moans coming from you,”Yes papi.” You manage to get out, when he focuses on your clit, he hums against you and stays in position.

It only takes a few more minutes before you’re a crying mess underneath him, your first orgasm that hasn’t been caused by your fingers, intense and overwhelming. Oscar makes his way up your body, letting you taste yourself when he gets back up to your lips.

“All nighter?” Mumbles against your mouth

“All nighter.” You agree, the both of you taking turns and bringing each other’s body’s to multiple highs.

“Suns nearly up.” Oscar mentions a few hours later as he lays in bed next to you, the sheets low on his hip and a joint in his hand.

“Good. We can lay in bed all day, yeah?” You yawn, cuddled up to his side.

“Definitely.” He says, blowing out smoke simultaneously

“I’m kind of scared to go to sleep.” You tell him as you let your eyes close tiredly.

“Why’s that mami?”

“Just feel like I’m going to wake up and yesterday will be all a dream.” You laugh softly at the thought, getting drowsier as the seconds tick by.

“I feel the same.” He tells you with a yawn of his own, reaching over to place the joint in the ashtray,”But it won’t be. I’m home, right where I belong.” He says and turns on his side to spoon you.

“Hmh, home.” You smile lazily, dozing off completely in his arms. Oscar places a kiss to your head before burying his face in your hair. He knew that no matter what life threw at him he was never letting himself go back to prison. He couldn’t leave you or Cesar again, before being pulled into the best sleep he’s had in a while he made that promise to himself. A promise in which he intended to keep.

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findapennyloseapenny · 4 years ago

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James Ironwood is going to turn up again, and he’s going to be working for Salem. Hear me out.

So this is a possibility I toyed with in one of my first posts on this blog, and as I’ve been thinking about it more and more and rewatching the Atlas arc, it’s something that I’m becoming more and more convinced of. Let’s start with the basics. Ironwood was in Atlas when it fell, and that was, shall we say catastrophic. Enormous crash, followed by flooding. Definitely shouldn’t be survivors, right?

Except that that isn’t really how this show, or most shows, work. People survive a lot of intense injury in RWBY. Cinder got fucking flash-frozen and dropped several stories after her Aura broke. RWBY goes out of its way to signpost when someone is dead. It wants that emotional beat to hit hard. It doesn’t want ambiguity. Take Pyrrha, disintegrated before our eyes. Take Penny, first dismembered, then with that heartbreaking framing of her blood falling of Crocea Mors. Take Clover, gorily impaled. Even with Adam, who fell offscreen before his death, was obviously and bloodily stabbed all the way through his chest (twice) and hit a rock very hard on his way down. The most ambiguous they’ve ever gotten was Watts, but they made a point to show that Cinder had taken extra action to make sure he burned alive before Atlas finished falling. The show took time out of a very packed episode to show us his shadow, lit by flames as he screamed.

Notice that they did not take time to give us a similar shot for Ironwood. It’s the contrast between Ironwood and Watts that makes me most certain that he’s alive. They could’ve spared a few seconds to give us something similar for Ironwood, and they didn’t. So I’ll be astonished if he doesn’t make it out alive.

Watts actually contributes another piece of evidence to this theory. Between his death, Emerald’s defection, Hazel’s death and defection, and Cinder betraying Neo, Salem lost a lot of known, well-developed characters from her inner circle in a very short time. The only people she has going into Volume 9 are Mercury, Tyrian, and Cinder, and they aren’t exactly a well-rounded team. Tyrian and Mercury are bruisers, from a plot-perspective. They take orders and carry them out. They don’t make plans, they don’t have resource networks, they aren’t particularly good infiltrators or ambassadors. Cinder’s only slightly better - she makes plans, sure, but she’s impulsive, self-serving, and bad at seeing the bigger picture. She only brings a slightly wider range of resources to the table. This is not a team that provides a varied enough rogue’s gallery for very long, especially if Mercury or Cinder defect as well (which is extremely possible). This only stays her inner circle if the show is about to wind down or Salem is about to get blown out of the water for a bigger bad guy.

So, is the show about to wind down? Realistically, if they want to wrap up their plot threads and themes in a tidy, satisfying fashion, which I’m confident they do, the minimum number of volumes I think they could do that in is four. Volume 9 deals with Wonderland and sets the stage for RWBY in Vacuo, Volume 10 deals with Vacuo, Volume 11 sees a return to Beacon (and possibly a late game switch big bad switch from Salem to someone else, probably the gods), and Volume 12 sees the defeat of the big bad and the resolution of the show. That’s assuming an absolutely breakneck pace from a show that has consistently been content to take its time - relatively speaking at least, given how short each episode is. They spent a whole Volume dealing with the trauma of the Fall of Beacon, advancing the characters and barely touching the overall plot. I don’t think they’re going to speed run this.

All this to say, at minimum, we’re three-quarters of the way through the show, and I think two-thirds to halfway is more realistic. Salem can’t take point in any plot that involves societal conflicts, and I don’t think they can hang three more volumes of those on Mercury, Tyrian, and Cinder. Salem needs to expand her inner circle. Now, most likely, that will include at least one new character from Vacuo. Maybe people who’ve read the CFVY books already have a likely candidate in mind, I don’t know. But one person isn’t going to be enough to fill all the roles now left empty on Salem’s team, especially one person that we don’t already know, who has to be built up for us and fleshed out and sold to us as someone competent and scary and worth giving a damn about.

So why not sidestep some of those problems and dust off the perfectly good dictator they’ve still got lying around?

Let’s go beyond the fact that Ironwood is alive and without an obvious role in the plot while Salem has a job opening. What does Ironwood get out of teaming up with Salem? What does Salem get out of taking him on? What do we, the audience, get out of seeing this on our screens?

Let’s start with the first one. Ironwood has had a very taxing forty-eight hours. He has seen his precious Atlas destroyed and reduced to rubble. He has seen every one he ever counted on betray him (and with good reason, but I doubt he sees it that way). He has gone from being one of, if not the most powerful mortal man in all of Remnant, to having absolutely nothing. Who does he blame for this? Salem? Maybe, but if he puts the sole blame on her, that means he has to keep fighting her, something he has already decided is impossible. He made a desperate, terrible, appalling plan to avoid that outcome, and it failed utterly. He doesn’t believe she can be beaten. He will certainly blame her some, but there is a much more convenient target for the bulk of it - one that is easy to plaster it on, one that thwarted him directly, and one which he believes he can have revenge on.

He is going to fixate on Team RWBY and their allies. If they’d just listened to him, if they’d just fallen in line and done what he said, then Atlas would be safe and the relics would be well out of Salem’s reach. Their opposition led directly to his plan’s failure. He doesn’t even need to bend the truth for that, only ignore the parts that he has already been content to ignore - that his plan was fundamentally flawed from the start, both in its means and its ends, and that if he had instead listened to RWBY, much of this tragedy could have been avoided. But Ironwood isn’t going to blame himself. It is a very, very hard thing for someone as proud and self-assured as Ironwood to do, to look at himself honestly and acknowledge that he fucked up, really badly, and that the consequences of that fuck up will haunt him until he dies. It is a very hard thing for such a proud man to humble himself and try to make whatever amends are within his means, to apologize to those he wronged and strive to help them, even knowing that they may hate him forever no matter what he does, and be justified in doing so.

He will take the easier choice, the same kind of easier choice he has been taking the whole show, and shift his guilt onto someone else. He will blame RWBY. He was more than willing to sacrifice uncounted multitudes of people under his care to protect Atlas, and maybe the world too, for awhile. Now Atlas is gone, and as far as he is concerned, the world is doomed. What does it matter if he helps Salem hasten that along a bit, as long as he can avenge his city?

Salem, for her part, will find an exceptionally canny tactician, a deeply charismatic leader, and a man of nearly unshakeable determination, all wrapped up in a nice, emotionally unstable, easily manipulated package. Maybe he doesn’t have the tech-savvy that Watts did, but he has everything else, and so much more. She could find all sorts of uses for him.

And we, the audience, will get to see it all unfold. We will get to see the fall of James Ironwood from a principled, well-meaning, staunch defender of Remnant, a bit over confident in himself, a bit flawed, a bit narrow in his focus, but unquestionably heroic, to a dictatorial, desperate tyrant, willing to sacrifice anything and anyone on the altar of his own ego, a man who hits rock bottom through his own arrogance and cruelty and, when offered a shovel, starts digging even deeper. You thought the Tin Man lost his heart this volume? You haven’t seen anything yet. By the end of this show, there will be no one more tragically, brutally, painfully hollow then James Ironwood.

I wonder if, near the end, he’ll think about Lionheart. I wonder if he’ll still have enough of the man he used to be left to shed a single, bitter tear at the irony.

#rwby #rwby meta #james ironwood #rwby salem #oh boy this got long #obviously this is a lot of conjecture about a show that routinely blows my expectations out of the water #but this feels very right to me

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jumoonjae · 4 years ago

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RIGHT HERE

PAIRINGS: SUNWOO X READER ft JUYEON

GENRE: FLUFF X ANGST

REQUESTED: YES

SUMMARY: When your relationship were on the verge of falling, Sunwoo was always there for you.

You look down to your feet staring at it blankly, somehow you noticed how worn out your shoes actually and it made you think how unattractive you are. Maybe that is why Juyeon been drifting apart lately. Maybe because he noticed the flaws in you and finally realized that you're not that pretty compared to his classmate or any girl in your campus anymore. You heaved a long sighed now looking at the movie tickets that half crumpled on your right hand then to your phone on your left waiting for him to call you back after dozens of miscall from you that went straight to his voicemails.

Your heart ached from the disappointment. You close your eyes shut for a moment before checking the time on your phone and by looking at his picture on your lock screen feels like adding a spoonful of salt to the fresh wound. Maybe its time, maybe he's no longer interested in you, maybe that summer fling never meant to last long. Its already an hour since you arrived and the movie had probably started. You had already lost interest in it, with a heavy sigh, you decided to just leave and deal with him later. Maybe he need more time, or space. You look up from your phone, and your gaze immediately locked with Sunwoo who was staring at you, panting like he just ran around a field or something.

“Noona.” He waved with his sweet smile and you pulled one yourself not caring if its seems forced before walking towards him.

“Hey. What are you doing here?” The pain inside your chest began to subside at every step you took closer to the younger boy. He always had that something on you. Something so serene whenever you're around him.

“I was walking around the mall.” He said and you look around to see if he's with anyone before your eyes found his again.

“Alone?” You asked when you see no familiar face around just to make sure.

“Yeah. I just need a new shoes,” You look down to your own shoes before looking back at him.

“What are you doing here alone noona?” He asked that got you frowning again. He noticed it, he was guilty for hiding the fact that Juyeon was just going out to the gym without mentioning you that made him run to you immediately. While you on the other side wanted to hide the truth, saving yourself from the embarrassment. But among all your friend, he was the only one you could tell your problems with Juyeon without hearing the word 'i told you so'. Because every single person in the campus know Juyeon was way out of your league.

“I was supposed to meet Juyeon for a movie night,” You pressed your lip into a thin line before forcing out another smile looking down, already embarrassed of your next words. You didn't want to ask Sunwoo about his whereabout, you're dying know of course but maybe its better for you to not know.

“I guess he got caught up on something and forgot,” You shrugged looking into his big doe eyes before the trickle of his sweats caught your attention.

“Sunwoo its freezing cold. How are you even sweating? Are you sick?” You wipe the beads of his sweat with your wrist making him flinch.

“You said it yourself noona but you're wearing a thin dress.” He pointed to your a bit aggressively making you giggle. You known him for a while after dating Juyeon, he was the closest to you among all of Juyeon's friend and had become your good friend eversince. He's funny, easy going and witty, its always easy when you're with him. When your friend always sceptical about your relationship with Juyeon, he was the only person you could really trust to pour all your insecurities and problem about Juyeon.

“I just wanted to look nice. We haven’t gone on a date for while.” Your face fell pricking his heart that he couldn't help to feel bad. He wanted to say you always look nice. No. You always been beautiful without even trying. He wanted to say that to your face loudly so you can stop being so insecure about yourself and he will do anything just to make you feel better. His gaze then fixed to the ticket that was crumpled on your hand.

“Do you still want to watch the movie?” He asked and you shook your head.

“I’m hungry. Lets get something to eat, then we look for your shoes. I need one too.” You slides the ticket inside the front pocket of your bag before leading Sunwoo to search for something to eat.

You were on your way back to your dorm from the library alone, because your friends decided to went to the cinema right after doing the group study. If it was the different movie from the one where Juyeon stood you up, you would've happy to come. But since Juyeon never called and answer your text since that night, by just the mention of the movie reminds you of the disappointment from that night and you ended up hurting again. You were positive that he had lost interest in the relationship, and he will end the relationship whether you like it or not, but you hoped that it wont be soon enough because you don't know if you're ready for the heartbreak.

“Noona.” You immediately look back to the source of the voice and saw Sunwoo jogs to your direction. You greet him back while he trying to catch his breath from running.

“Where are you going?” He asked straightening his back now towering you with his height.

“I was just going back to my dorm. Why?”

“I’m going to Han river, you want to come?” You nod with a big smile before following him. You were grateful for him always shown up in the right moment. You really need a distraction from thinking about Juyeon too much.

“This is too much,” You look at the food one by one with wide eye and then to him who was grinning at you. Smiling sheepishly scratching his head.

“Did you just bought the whole thing from the convenience store Sunwoo?” You ask him looking down to the variety of foods on the table outside the convenience store.

“I didn't bought it for you. Its for me.” You bit your lips then pouts at him before scurrying to into the store getting your own food.

“That little shit.” You cursed at Sunwoo who was eating his food as you got out from the store with your own ramen and beverage before bumping into someone spilling the hot soup on your shirt.

“Yah.” You yelled looking up to see your boyfriend who was startled by your voice.

“Y/N?” He called making you flustered forgetting about the hot soup that was getting hotter when your wet shirt stuck on your skin. But you were too lost in his eyes to care about the sting on your skin.

“Sorry.” He muttered looking at your shirt.

“Sorry for what?” You didn't mean to sound so harsh but you starting to get irritated by just seeing him. You missed him but at the same time you were mad at him for ignoring you. You wanted to just splash the hot ramen at his face as much as you want to hug him.

“I,” He seems to get the idea why you were mad. His eyes still fixed on your shirt that you hold so it wont stuck on your skin.

“I can't do this anymore.” You knew it. You were expecting this but, even if you’re come prepared, it wont make it less painful. You wanted to ask why, you wanted to know the reason but you wont let him see you cry. You wont give him the satisfaction. You're not going to feed his ego. You force a smile to mask your pain the pain inside you.

“Yeah I know, I figured it out. Its just a stupid summer fling anyway.” You nod a bit too aggressively before spinning on your heel walking away from him.

“What took you so long noona?” Sunwoo looking up to you then to your back before he saw Juyeon was looking at both of you with an unreable expression.

“Hyung.” He called before the other guy nods with a small smile and walked to the opposite side of the road and he knew. He knew something was off.

“Noona are you okay?” He stand up as he noticed your lips were trembling and your grip on your ramen was strong enough to dent the cup. When you didn't answer him, he took the ramen and your beverage away from your hand before pulling you into his embrace comforting you. But his action was making it worst, making you burst into tear that you were supposed to hold back. You don't want to cry because it was stupid for crying over a guy you dated after a summer fling. It was stupid. Everything was stupid. You are stupid for falling too deep in something that you knew was useless. You bit your lips holding back your whimper. You forced yourself to stop crying.

“I'm okay.” You said shakily before pulling away from him looking down to your shoes. It was the same hideous shoes you wore when he stood you up few weeks ago. The feeling of kicking it off and walk home barefoot really got into you but you exhale a long breath instead, trying to calm yourself down. He pull the chair and you sit on it still staring at your stupid shoes. You hate it, you hate it with all your guts. You wore it when you first met him, it means a lot to you because he said it was pretty. It was bullshit.

“Noona.” Sunwoo called snapping you out from your thoughts about your shoes. You look up to him, but you hate the way he looked at you. His eyes was filled with pity. And you hate when someone pities you. You hate the feeling of being pathetic.

“Stop staring. I'm hungry.” You took your chopstick before starts eating your cold ramen and he eats his while still eyeing you.

You took a small box from under your bed where you kept every small thing from every date you had with Juyeon, you stare at it long enough before decided to throw it all away. There's a few movie tickets, two which he didn't show up, but Sunwoo did, which made you smile to the thoughts of the younger guy. It was unconscious. You throw it into the bin next to you. A few polaroid of you and Juyeon, you stare at his face caressing it with your thumb, he was handsome, so handsome that you look like a joke posing next to him making you chuckled to yourself.

“Why are you even-” You shake your head thinking about how did you even had the guts to say yes when he asked you out. The polaroid too ended up being thrown into the bin. You look back into the empty box, that was it. You should have know by the way the treated you, by the way how he always stood you up, his every excuses. You should have known. But you're too stupid. You got up and grab the bin to place it back under your desk, but stop when you saw a handwritten on the back of the polaroid.

‘Taken by Sunwoo.’

You smiled remembering how you bumped into him and Eric while on a date with Juyeon at the amusement park and you insisted them to tag along. He was bragging about how well he could take a picture and end up writing 'Taken by Sunwoo' at every polaroid he took. A trademark he said regarding to that. You smile again at that memories of him, he was always been there for you. You place the bin back under your table and head to your closet looking for that one sweater where Juyeon gave to you after you both drenched when one of his friend think its funny to push you both into the pool while making out that had you cursed at his friend. It was a fond memory because the way he hold you inside his arm while trying to calm you down. He was gentle, so gentle. Even his every words, he might look like a player but you know he is not. He's a shy and awkward person that you love to tease. But the thing is you never be able to be yourself whenever you are with him. You need to slow down a bit just to match his personality. You didn't blame him for that, you changed yourself just so that somehow you could match his league. But you know even how much you change yourself or how much effort you put when getting ready, you will never be the same league as he is.

You sighed at the sight of his sweater, his scent still lingers on the sweater that pricked your heart. You frowned, you missed him. You want him so much that it hurt so much for wanting someone that doesn't want you back. Your heart ached so much that you cried covering your face with his sweaters. The heartache was too much, you laid yourself on the floor looking at the last picture of him on the nightstand next to your bed. Your phone rings a few time and you got up on the seventh times.

“Sunwoo.” Your voice cracked and it does the same to his heart. But he needs to comfort you after a word with Juyeon.

“Take care of her because i cant,” His hyung's words somehow made his heart stop for a moment.

“I just cant work things out.” It was clear that Juyeon was affected by the break up too. Sunwoo knew it wasn't the case of third person. It was because he was too busy. Busy with his youth, his dream that he cant focus on a relationship. He couldn't blame Juyeon for that, but knowing how you put so much effort to make him stay, to make the relationship keep going on, he know you're broken even how much you've said you're okay. He just nod to the older guy before heading to your dorm room.

“Noona i'm outside your dorm,” He beamed from the other line making you smile just from the sound of his voice.

“I never lock the door Sunwoo.”

“Noona i told you to lo-” You cut the line before he could finish his nagging as you could heard his voice from the other side of the door. You sit up wiping your tears away waiting for him to enter you room and when he did, he was all smiley then pouts when you didn't smile back while closing the door on his back.

“I bought your favorite ice cream.” He lift the plastic bag that he was holding up to show you and you forced a wide smile, biting your quivering lips. His face fell and you look down as you tears fall again. He slowly place the ice cream on your desk before sitting next to you, nudging your shoulder.

“I’m okay. I'm just happy to see the ice cream.” You lied wiping your tears with the back of your hand. He moved closer to you until your shoulder touches and your rest your head on his shoulder. You let your tear fall freely and cried silently for a while before you felt his body shifted away from you. You turn your head to see what he was trying to do, he open his both arm with his smile waiting for you to come into his embrace. You scoffed before leaning your head to his cheat as his arm wrapped around your body. You cover your face with your palm trying to stop yourself from crying and he let you stay in that position for a while. Comforting you in silence.

“I hate this movie.” You commented blowing your nose on the tissue before looking up to Sunwoo.

“I am so offended. This is one of my favorite movie noona.” He dramatically grab his chest straitening his body looking at you in disbelief. Making you scoffed.

“I hate it.” You take your laptop and was going to stop the movie while he tried to take it from you, you had to stretch your hand far up to keep him away from your laptop. But he had no problem reaching it thanks to your short hand. But he stop, flustered by how close his face are to yours. You thought the time had stop ticking because of the way his stares locks with yours, his beautiful big dark brown orbs that you always found comfort in, then your eyes trailed down to his nose, stopping right at his plump cherry lips. You heart skipped a single beat when he leaned down to you slowly. Your mind were racing with too much thoughts and the break up really messing up with your head. You closed your eyes looking away and he cleared his throat shifting away from you immediately.

“Sorry noona. I didn't mean to.” He sit straight brushing the non existence dirt on his pants.

Few week passed and you hadn't heard anything from Juyeon and Sunwoo. He left that night without any words and the next morning he apologized again, but you didn't replied to it. You didn't hate him, you could never hate him. He was your favorite dongsaeng. It was complicated. You need more time to face him after rejecting him like that. You've been busying yourself with your assignment just to distract yourself. But at every place you went you felt so empty even when you were surrounded by your friend. At first you thought it was just a withdrawal stage, but the thing is. It wasn't Juyeon you search for. It was Sunwoo. You kept looking back everytime you were excited because it was the place where he always stood by. He was always there when you look back and when he's not there, your heart felt heavy. So heavy that you couldn't bear with it anymore.

It was during lunch when you saw him sitting with Juyeon and the others and you couldn't help yourself from sparing him a glance now and then. He was just talking and laughing being his goofy self and you really miss him that it hurt. You force yourself to focus on the story that your friend were telling and you had to fight the urge to look back at him. You look down to your phone unlocking it then locking it again. Staring into spaces, lost in your own thoughts. Thoughts of him. You've haven't been yourself lately, you noticed. Your friend noticed it too. Its like you're breaking up with Sunwoo, not Juyeon.

“I'm going to the library first.” You told your friend taking all your stuff and bid them goodbye. Sunwoo saw you left and eyed you until the exit, he missed you. All the glance that he's been stealing at you was never going to be enough to cover the void inside him.

“You should go after her you know. Staring wouldn't do anything.” He was flustered by Juyeon's words.

“Hyung.”

“I know about your feeling,”

“I can see it by the way you looked at her.”

“Sorry.” He felt bad for staring at his hyung's ex and the fact that he was caught red handed for catching feelings for her. He looked down fidgeting with his finger.

“No need to be. Me and Y/N was never meant to be i guess.” There was a glint of regret in his voice that he hoped that the younger boy didn't noticed. But by keeping you with him when he can't give you the affection and love that you deserve wont be fair for you. Even how much he liked you, he couldn't give you the relationship that you wanted. But he was sure Sunwoo could.

“Go get her.” He smiles to Sunwoo and the younger boy didn't even waste a second getting up from his seat heading to where you were headed.

‘I hope you'll be happy this time around Y/N.’ He thought to himself as his stare lingers at the vacant seat where you was seated few moment ago then to the door. Smiling weakly to it.

“Noona.” You felt your heart skipped a single beat when you heard the voice you've been long for. You stop on your track but didn't dare to turn around, afraid you couldn't find a word to say or how to greet him after so long. But your heart didn't care about that thought that it took control over your body, spinning it around, facing him. He was panting, just like the night at the cinema. Then it hit you, he was running that night, buying new shoes was a lie because he didn't bought any that night. Your remember each time how he was always taking care of you, how his stare and his smile when you beamed. You noticed it before even every little thing that he does. But you never gave any of it a second thought He treated you like how you treated Juyeon and how stupid you are not be able to see it. You felt something growing inside you but couldn't recognize what was it.

“Noona.” He called again snapping you out from your long thoughts. You stare at his face long because there's now there’s no reason for you to look away. The one you've been looking for was always been right by your side all along and you being your dumb self was too blind to see. You slowly took a step, approaching him. Before, you felt ease with every step. But now, your heart was racing ten times faster than your footstep. You stop a few feet from him, it was close enough. enough for you where you could smell his cologne. It was always been your favorite.

“I have something to say.”

“I know,” You said bold enough. You weren't sure but something inside you was sure what he was about to say was the thing that you had in your mind that moment. He tilt his head to one side in confusion from your words and you swear your heart just did the same.

“I missed you.” Having him so close to you made the butterfly inside you alive again and you could feel their wings flutters and your heart did that flip when those words came out from your lips. He was flustered too that his big beautiful eyes grown bigger and without any hesitation, you crashed your lips to his soft plump lips and you smiled to the kiss. It felt so right having his lips on yours and you being inside his arms. You felt his hand cupped you cheeks and pulls your face deepening the kiss.

“I like you noona.”

“I know,” You bit your lower lip looking down.

“I'm sorry for not realizing it sooner.” You look at him wrapping your hands around his neck as the smile on his face never seems to falter.

“I’m sorry.” You said again before he pulled you into his embrace and you buried your face on the crook of his neck smiling, taking in his scent.

“Will you be my girlfriend? My beautiful noona.” He asked swinging your body side to side making you giggle. You know he was nervous and you could feel his heartbeat was beating at the same pace as yours.

“Yes Sunwoo. I will.”

A/N: This one was requested as well. I actually enjoyed writing this one, its just that i couldn't decide the ending and i end up changing it back and forth.i hope this one came out just the way you imagine it anon. Also wishing a speedy recovery for Sunwoo as well and a good health for other member so they could wrap up this comeback promotion safe and healthy.

#tbz imagines #the boyz scenarios #the boyz #tbz scenarios #tbz #sunwoo #tbz sunwoo #kim sunwoo #sunwoo scenarios #sunwoo imagines

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once-upon-a-side-character · 4 years ago

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If you're still doing this, top 5 ouat arcs and top 5 villains?

I am still doing these! I’ve just been busy over the last week (and also I take ages writing very long winded answers). These were such good asks, thank you so much anon! <3

Top 5 arcs:

1. Season 1

Maybe this will surprise people but I won’t deny that I actually really had to force myself to get through the first season of ouat. On my first watch my fave characters were Regina and Rumple (because at least they were funny and therefore entertaining) and I just wasn’t gripped by any of the rest of them. Then I finished up to season 5 (since s6 hadn’t aired) and...rewatched it. And it is was so much better on rewatch. Yes, there are still bits I don’t like about season 1 (the love triangle with snow/david/kathryn still annoys me and I will never not be furious about the graham situation and just how poorly that storyline played out.) but the rest of it? Incredible. Everything just felt so balanced and well thought through. Yes, it was still a show about fairy tale characters (specifically...disney characters) but in season 1 all their stories felt mature and considered (instead of gimmicky). The wardrobe plot? Genius. And I just love the way they set up Storybrooke as a place and how we slowly get to know who each of it’s denizens are.

2. Season 3A

Season 3A was my fave season for a long time. Why? Because it’s gooooood! Pan is fun. I like the ‘Pan is actually Rumple’s horrible dad’ plot twist. I like Rumple’s character growth in his arc. I like Neal and Henry and their interactions. I like Emma’s character growth and how she comes to a lot of realisations about herself in this arc. I like that turmoil that Snow and David are separately experiencing (David’s thing with the dreamshade and Snow feeling guilty that she feels angry about missing out on Emma’s childhood). And I like some of the new characters introduced like Tinker Bell. I just feel like there’s a lot of good and interesting character development going on in 3A and overall I really like it for that.

3. Season 2

Season 2 is just Season 1 but with a bit more emphasis on the fairy tale part...and that’s why it’s good. I love the vast range of characters that we get to see and how much fun Once has in introducing every fairy tale character they possibly can. Mulan gets her debut! I love Tiny and that he finds a family with the dwarves, Cora is a pretty fun villain and I’m glad we get to see more of Victor’s backstory as well. There are a whole host of really great episodes in this season and I really like it <3

4. Season 4A

4A would be potentially higher on this list if it wasn’t for its pitfalls. The good parts about 4A were the Snow Queen’s arc (which did not get enough screen time) and all the bits to do with Emma’s past and childhood. Loved all of it. The issues I have with 4A stem from the frozen plot line. Now let me just say that frozen is easily one of my fave disney movies, so of COURSE I was pleased to see frozen characters. But I just wish that it had been a cameo instead of taking up the whole arc. And I also wish that they’d changed the damn costuming for the frozen characters as well. Poor Elsa being stuck in that dress for the entire arc was just heartbreaking. The whole thing felt like a cash grab and I just wanted it to be executed so much better than it was. THAT SAID I did still like it and yes I like this arc a lot overall.

5. Season 4B

This is just a FUN arc. I love the Queens of Darkness so I’ll admit that’s a big factor for me but also I love the emphasis on family in this arc. Obviously, you do have the turmoil between Emma and her parents and honestly I’m less keen on that whole plot line but on the flipside you have characters like Maleficent and her broken relationship with her daughter. Or maybe I AM just swayed by the Queens of Darkness

TOP 5 VILLAINS:

1. Jafar (OUATIW)

And yet another reason as to why OUATIW is so good... I won’t spoil too much in case there are those of you that would like to watch Wonderland and haven’t just yet, but..he’s just fabulous, I swear. Genuinely threatening and evil, but also suave and sexy, he makes for a pretty decent villain. But it’s what’s underneath it all that really pushes him to be a great villain. He has one of the most harrowing tragic childhood backstories out of any ouat character but he isn’t given a redemption arc because of it. We have a better understanding of his anger and why he did what he did. We have genuine sympathy towards his character. But it doesn’t change his status as a villain and I just think he has one of the most mature character arcs of any villain in ouat and that some of ouat’s other villains could have benefited from a similar narrative themselves.

2. Cruella de Vil

I mentioned her on my top 5 character list so I won’t ramble but she’s just FUN. I’m sure most of you have already seen that post floating around in response to the new Cruella movie, and how ouat’s Cruella backstory worked so well, and that post sums it up pretty perfectly. The show tries to make you think that a tragic backstory is going to play out...but it doesn’t. And she was just...an evil murderer that likes manipulating people and having her own way. She’s over the top and ridiculous and I never thought I would see Cruella de Vil playing angry birds on screen.

3. Zelena Mills

Zelena! is! a! fun! villain! Idk guys, I just feel like Zelena gets a lot of hate from fandom in a way that almost none of the other villains do. Is she a terrible person? obviously, yes. But she’s so uncompromisingly evil and she has FUN while she does it and I can’t not love and respect that. I think that her villain origin story is a little weak at times (the jealousy angle is obviously a necessity but also a little overplayed at times) but overall I just love her dry humour and snarky little comments and I think she’s lots of fun.

4. Rumplestlistkin

I care a lot less about Rumple post season 3 but I will say that overall I think he’s a really enjoyable character and a fun villain. Imp!Rumple in particular is super fun (although I really like his Mr. Gold alter ego almost as much). He’s chaotic on the surface but meticulous and calculating on the inside and that makes for a thoroughly enjoyable villain. Killing him off at the end of season 3A would have been a better narrative arc for his character...but I won’t deny that I would have been sad to see him go so early on and the show wouldn’t have been the same without him.

5. Maleficent

Mal is a little different to the others on this list because actually I really like (I’m not quite sure that you can call it a redemption arc, per se, but) the sympathy her character is given. She was always a pretty neutral villain. She mostly seemed to just mind her own business unless she was provoked. And then she had her child stolen from her and I really did feel for her. She’s badass, cool and sexy and I hope she and Lily are having some nice mother-daughter bonding moments in Storybrooke or wherever they are. (Plus that suit is one of the best villain looks in the entire show).

#asks #anons #i haven't forgotten about that other anon btw!#It was just a tricky one i need to think about <3 #ty for these asks guys :')#i hope at least some of you find them interesting to read

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blackswaneuroparedux · 4 years ago

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Treat Your S(h)elf: The Silence of the Girls by Pat Barker

We’re going to survive - our songs, our stories. They’ll never be able to forget us. Decades after the last man who fought at Troy is dead, their sons will remember the songs their Trojan mothers sang to them. We’ll be in their dreams - and in their worst nightmares too.

- Pat Barker, The Silence of the Girls

“It’s always hard on women, when a city falls.” Briseis, former princess of the Trojan city of Lyrnessus, has been Achilles’s slave for several months when someone she knew in her old life says these words. From the ancient world to our modern world there is this ugly and unspoken line of rape as a weapon of war. History is replete with examples. In the 20th-century where Nazis raped Jewish women despite soldiers' concerns with "race defilement" and raped countless women in their path as they invaded the Soviet Union and then in Berlin 1945 Russians in turn went on a brutal raping spree to punish the Germans. In the bloody Balkan wars in the 1990s, Serbian forces tortured and summarily executed scores of Muslims and Croats. In the Iraq war and the many conflicts in Africa in the 21st Century, rape is systemically used to subdue a defeated enemy. History shows the ugly truth that women’s bodies have always been viewed as the spoils of conflicts waged primarily by men.

The issue of rape in war is something that has always sat uncomfortably with me ever since I did my stint as an army combat helicopter pilot in Afghanistan. From my high vantage point I felt a detachment from the electronic battlefield - for everything was viscerally seen from my helmeted eye patch visor lens and not the naked eye. I couldn’t look people in the eye as as soldier on for patrol would have. The fear and sweat is the same but the risk is different. Soldiers on patrol or on a mission risk the constant threat of ambush, sustained attack under mortar or fire fights as well as the ever present danger of being blown up by an IED by accident. Pilots risk being coming under attack too by being ambushed by RPG rocket fire or coming under fire from below. Worse, was to think if you got hit and you had to bail and you were all alone, survival and evasion from capture becomes fearfully paramount. Of course they train you for this until it hopefully becomes muscle memory in how to survive and take evasive action from being captured and resisting as long as you could under interrogation. But as a female pilot the unspoken fear that dare not speak its name was ever present: the fear of rape.

I’m not sure my brother officers - no matter how sincere and well intentioned they were because we were all fiercely protective of one another - really understood what the word ‘rape’ means for a woman. Indeed a male friend and ex-army colleague said to me in jest don’t ever kid a man about kicking him in the balls because it’s one thing every man can imagine feeling but would find it hard to explain the excruciating pain when a man does get his balls bashed in. I don’t think the two ‘experiences’ are the same obviously but I understand how hard it is to articulate what it might feel like. I never really allowed myself to be consumed by the fear of what might happen if I ever got shot down and was captured but instead I made sure to focus on my job. It never really became pressing issue for me throughout my time in on the battlefield. I was lucky I got out in one piece despite a few close scrapes along the way.

I did hear awful and terrible stories from my oldest brother who served in the Iraq War of the raping of Kurdish women by Iraqi forces. It sickened him and left him hollow the the things he witnessed first hand. Through the charitable work of ex-veterans I have come across refugee woman who shared their harrowing stories of how they were violently and systematically raped as war booty and as primal assertion of victor dominance and control.

I was thinking about all these things as I read Pat Barker’s novel about one of the most famous wars of all, telling the story of the siege of Troy from the point of view of the local Trojan women taken by the Greek forces. It’s The Iliad as seen through the eyes of 19-year-old Briseis, the Queen of Lyrnessus who’s taken as Achilles’s “bed-girl”, his “prize of honour” for mass slaughter.

Barker’s not the first to turn to the classics for inspiration. It’s popular practice these days. Kamila Shamsie’s Home Fire and Michael Hughes’ Country, for example, transpose classical stories onto contemporary settings. The Silence of the Girls is yet another much welcomed book to offer a fresh perspective on Homeric women, following Madeleine Miller’s brilliant Circe. But while Miller’s reinvention of literature’s first witch brilliantly evoked a world of ancient magic in retelling The Odyssey from the witch’s point of view, not that of the warrior she waylays on his journey home, Barker’s story has its feet very firmly on the ground. Yes, the gods are still there – you can’t tell the story of the Trojan wars without them, after all. The gods remain mostly off stage but they are present in the background, magically restoring the mutilated dead body of Hector. The sea goddess Thetis, Achilles’ mother, is a briny, frightening presence, as are the dark shore and the waves by which the whole horrible story takes place. Apollo still sends a plague, Achilles is the son of a sea goddess who brings him divinely forged armour and Hector’s body is magically restored to freshness after being pulled behind Achilles’s chariot.

But what really stands out are not heavenly allusions but the dirt and filth and disease and sheer brutal physicality of the Greek army marauding everything that stands in their way to Troy - there’s no magic here to ease the pain and trauma of rape or murder or even to help exact revenge. And while Achilles’ divine mother makes an appearance, and Apollo is beckoned by Briseis to bring about a plague, the gods remain on the peripheries of this story. If Circe, which chronicles the life of its titular character, is very much about the gods and their egos, then The Silence of the Girls, however, is very much about humans, their egos and their wars - both personal and political.

In all this Barker gives female characters such as Circe and Briseis the voice they’ve traditionally been denied, readers glean a different version of events behind the Trojan War epic myth. “Great Achilles. Brilliant Achilles, shining Achilles, godlike Achilles…How the epithets pile up,” Briseis begins. “We never called him any of those things; we called him ‘the butcher’.”

In The Iliad, a poem about the terrible destruction caused by male aggression, the bodies and pretty faces of women are the objects through which men struggle with each other for status. The women are not entirely silent, and goddesses always have plenty to say, but mortal women speak primarily to lament. They grieve for their dead sons, dead fathers, dead husbands and dead protectors; for the city of Troy, soon to fall, and for their own freedom, taken by the victors of war. Andromache pleads with her Trojan husband Hector not to leave her and their infant son to go back to fight Achilles. She has already endured the sack of her home city by Achilles, and seen the slaughter of her father and seven brothers, and the enslavement of her mother. If Hector dies, their child will be hurled from the city walls, Troy will fall and Andromache will be made the concubine of the son of her husband’s killer. Hector knows this, but he insists that his own need to avoid social humiliation as a battle-shirker trumps it all: “I would be ashamed before the Trojan men and women,” he says. He hopes only to be dead before he has to hear her screams.

Barker’s absorbing prose puts the experience of women like Andromache at the heart of the story: the women who survive in slavery when men destroy their cities and kill their fathers, brothers and children. The central character is Briseis, the woman awarded to Achilles, the greatest Greek fighter, after his army sacks one of the towns neighbouring Troy. Agamemnon, the most powerful, although not the bravest, of the Greek warriors – a character whose downright nastiness comes across beautifully in Barker’s telling – has lost his own most recent female acquisition and seizes Briseis from Achilles. Achilles’ vengeful rage against Agamemnon and his own comrades, and the subsequent vast death toll of the Greeks and Trojans, is the central theme of The Iliad.

Homer’s poem ends by foreshadowing the fall of Troy in the death of its greatest fighter, Hector. Barker’s novel begins with the fall of another town: Lyrnessus, Briseis’ home, destroyed by Achilles and his men. We then see that the fall of a city is the end of a story only for the male warriors: some leave triumphant and others lie there dead. For the women, it is the start of new horrors.

Barker’s subject has long been gender relations during conflict, along with the machinations of trauma and memory, so she’s in her element here. Her blood-drenched battle scenes are up there with the best of them, and she shows a keen understanding of the “never-ending cycle of hatred and revenge” fuelling the violence. Her focus, however, is that which takes place off the battlefield, inflicted on the women in the “rape camps.”

Barker keeps the main bones of the Homeric poem in place, supplementing Homer at the end of the story with Euripides. His heartbreaking play The Trojan Women is, like Barker’s novel, a version of the story that shifts our attention from the angry, destructive, quick-footed, short-lived boys to the raped, enslaved, widowed women, who watch their city burn and, if they are lucky, get a moment to bury their slaughtered children and grandchildren before they are taken far away.

One of Barker’s most tear-jerking sequences is lifted straight from Euripides: the teenage daughter of Priam and Hecuba is gagged and killed as a “sacrifice” on the dead Achilles’ tomb, and then Hecuba is presented with the tiny corpse of her dead grandson, a toddler with his skull cracked open. The girl’s gagged mouth and the child’s gaping brains conjure a gruesome twinned image for the silenced voices that should tell of the horror and pity suffered by the victims of war.

For most of Barker’s novel, Briseis is the first-person narrator, but in the final part, the narrative is intercut with third-person chapters told from the point of view of Achilles. We never get as close to Achilles as we do to Briseis, but he is a compelling figure in his fascinating combination of brutality and civility. Like Siegfried Sassoon in Barker’s 1991 novel Regeneration, this Achilles has the soul of a poet as well as of a killer and hunter: he is a man whose physical courage and compulsion to fight sit uneasily with his clear, articulate awareness of the futility of war.

But Achilles, however fascinating he may be, is not then at the centre of this story. Still, the novel does provide a moving, thought-provoking version of what is perhaps the most famous moment of The Iliad: when the old king Priam makes his way, alone and unarmed, through the enemy camp, to plead with Achilles to give back the mutilated body of his son, Hector. Barker twice quotes Priam’s Homeric words to Achilles: “I do what no man before me has ever done, I kiss the hands of the man who killed my son.” Barker lets us feel the pathos and pity of this moment, as well as the pathos of all the many young men who die violent deaths far from home. We glimpse, too, Achilles’ alienation from his own “terrible, man-killing hands”, which have caused so many deaths.

Briseis has a powerful riposte to Priam’s words, weighing this unique encounter between men against the myriad unremembered horrors suffered by women in war. “I do what countless women before me have been forced to do. I spread my legs for the man who killed my husband and my brothers.”

Reduced to objects, they’re catalysts for conflict – Barker’s Helen inspires ribaldry not worship, “The eyes, the hair, the tits, the lips/ That launched a thousand battleships...” chant the soldiers – blamed for inciting hatred between men. Or they’re regarded as the victor’s spoils, claimed along with cattle and gold.

Briseis is both. Taken as a slave, Achilles and Agamemnon then feud over her: “It doesn’t belong to him; he hasn’t earnt it,” fumes the former. Men - Greek and Trojan alike – are afforded the privilege of vocalising their pain and loss, while women have to repress their suffering. “Silence becomes a woman,” they’re told, even when they’re free.

No longer an issue of decorum, now it’s about staying alive. “I do what no man before me has ever done, I kiss the hands of the man who killed my son,” declares Priam when he prostrates himself before Achilles begging for Hector’s body. “And I do what countless women before me have been forced to do, Briseis thinks bitterly, “I spread my legs for the man who killed my husband and my brothers.”

Barker has a very clear feminist message about the struggle for women to extricate themselves from male-dominated narratives. In the hands of a lesser writer, it could have felt preachy and woke but she masterfully avoids that. The attempt to provide Briseis with a happy ending is thin, and sometimes the female characters’ legitimate outrage seems a bit predictable, as when we hear Helen thinking: “I’m here. Me. A person, not just an object to be looked at and fought over.”

The novel has some annoying anachronisms, such as a “weekend market” (there were no weekends in antiquity), and a reference to “half a crown”, as if we were in the same period as Barker’s first world war novels. One wonders if any woman in archaic Greece, even a former queen, would have quite the self-assurance of Barker’s Briseis. But, of course, there is no way to be sure: no words from women in this period survive but Barker is surely right to paint them as thoughtful, diverse, rounded human beings, whose humanity hardly ever dawns on their captors, owners and husbands. This central historical insight feels entirely truthful.

Barker has a quasi-Homeric gift for similes: “that shining moment, when the din of battle fades and your body’s a rod connecting earth and sky”, or Achilles’ friend Patroclus dying, “thrashing like a fish in a pool that’s drying out”. There is a Homeric simplicity and drive in some of the sentences: “Blood, shit and brains – and there he is, the son of Peleus, half beast, half god, driving on to glory.” She is Homeric, too, in her attentiveness to what happens between people, and to the details of the physical world: the food, the wine, the clothes, the noise and the feel of skin, blood, bones, crackling wounds and screams. Barker, like Homer, understands grief and loss, and sees how alone people can be even when they are crying together. Loneliness in community is one of the major themes of this book, as it is of The Iliad.

Angry, thoughtful, sad, deeply humane and compulsively readable, The Silence of the Girls shows that Barker is a writer at the peak of her literary powers. You sense her only priority is to enlarge the story that we all know and she adds to it magnificently.

I have always enjoyed reading Pat Barker especially her enviable experience of writing about military life in her earlier novels and here in this book it shines through in the depiction of the Greek forces. The men are dehumanised by the wars they have created. This is primarily a book about what war does to women, but Barker examines what it does to men too. I was disturbed by the magnificently poignant final section which can’t help but make you reflect on the cultural underpinnings of male aggression, the women throughout history who have been told, by men, to forget their trauma. When Briseis is told to forget her past life, she immediately knows it is exactly what she must not, can not do: “So there was my duty laid out in front of me, as simple and clear as bowl of water: Remember.”

Briseis knows no one will want to record the reality of what went on during the war: “they won’t want the brutal reality of conquest and slavery. They won’t want to be told about the massacres of men and boys, the enslavement of women and girls. They won’t want to know we were living in a rape camp. No, they’ll go for something altogether softer. A love story, perhaps?” But even so, Briseis, for all that she must bear, understands eventually that the women will leave behind a legacy, though not in the same vocal, violent way the men will.

“We’re going to survive,” she says, “our songs, our stories. They’ll never be able to forget us. Decades after the last man who fought at Troy is dead, their sons will remember the songs their Trojan mothers sang to them. We’ll be in their dreams - and in their worst nightmares too.”

I felt disconcerted reading this and also very moved. As much as I love the Classics and firmly believe in it providing the foundational building blocks of our Western civilisation I also have to pause and remind myself that heroic behaviour, something the greatest of the Greeks are known for, isn’t anything admirable when viewed from the lens of the women they abuse. Heroism can be tainted by the dark side of one’s nature. However pure one soldier’s sacrifice for another can be, so there is the bestial side of us where the chains of civilised moral behaviour are unshackled and left to satiate our primal instinct for cruelty, conflict, and domination. Indeed what Barker does is be a much needed corrective because just as you think her perspective of the Greek heroes may be softening, she pulls back to remind you of Odysseus tossing Hector’s baby from the battlements, or Achilles’s casual butchery. “It’s the girls I remember most,” Briseis says. This then is a story about the very real cost of wars waged by men: “the brutal reality of conquest and slavery”.

In seeing a legend differently, Barker makes us rethink who gets to write history but also to remind us of our tainted human condition. There is no god in the machine to sort out most violent conflicts and situations with a thunderbolt here. There are only mortals, with all their flaws and ferocity and foolishness. And we all have to live with that but not I hope in silence.

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popculturebuffet · 5 years ago

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Ducktales Reviews! 3-5: Louie’s Eleven!

In my most anticipated ep of this batch, Louie’s Ocean’s Eleven esque heist gets derailed by his own ego and someone pulling a Die Hard while Donald finds love in an elevator living it up when he’s going down with the best Daisy in history. Romantic musical numbers, people being dicks, and suprise returns insure. Hey you kooky beatniks there’s gonna be a heist, tonnnniggghtttt under the cut.

If the little intro blurb didn’t give it away, i’ve been waiting for this one all season, with the last two being okay but not amazing and a suprise treat respectivley. WIth Daisy debuting, a heist (a genre I love and need to watch more of) and the Cablleros, expectations were high... and met and exceded. Yeah while the show has disapointed me before (The Infernal Internship of Mark Beaks, which this episode is somehow a sequel to is the prime example. ) with an episode I was chomping at the bit for this one delivered. The basic setup is as you’d expect: Donald, now having less parental obligations has gotten the Cablleros back together. It’s something Frank hinted at in the EW interview for this episode: That they wanted to explore just what Donald would do now he could ease up a bit. He’s not alone anymore: He trusts Scrooge again, He has Beakly to educate them and his sister to split parenting duties with and make up for lost time. He’s in a good place and has freedom for the first time in 10 years, almost 11... so what DOES he do with it? Up until now his life has been his kids: Sure his overproection of them and trying to get them away from Scrooge was more him projecting over his issues with Della and his childhood in general, but he still meant well on some level. Their his world, the thing he cares most about, and while the boys can be disprectful it’s been shown multiple times they truly love their adopted dad as much as their newly returned mom and Donald did an outstanding job raising them warts and all. What do you do when your life has been one thing for a good third of it? It’s why I think him trying to get famous through his music makes a lot of sense: His college days and adventures were a happy time for him: hanging out with his best friends, doing something he truly loved, and doing something normal at the same time. So of course the idea of having them not only presumibly move to the area for this, so he has friends close again, and do something from a time he was truly happy... of course he’d jump on that. But given our trio consists of a disaster area with horrible planning skills 90% of the time, a boisterous rooster, and a playboy Parrot, their plana mounts to “Go to rich people’s bathrooms and plkay and hope they don’t get thrown out”. Since that failed, Louie, being Louie steps in with a crooked contract (Which Donald relucntantly signs after Panchito has already forged his name) and an elaborate heist on tastemaker Emma Glamour’s annual party with the help of his 11: Louie himself, Dewey (More on him in a minute), one of the background characters, the cabs, webby, Huey (whose suprised to find out he just did a forgery), Gyro (who is TOTALLY not in just to test out his new headsets which TOTALLY don’t make your head go pop if you wear them too long) and Manny as his trump card. But naturally this being a heist pastiche, things go wrong from the start: Turns out Glamour beefed up security with an old familiar face: Falcon Graves, who you may remember from infernal internship and was freaking awesome and kinda hot. He’s back, and Dewey’s understandably afraid of Graves spotting him given last time they met Dewey threw him off a roof. Things naturally snowball from there: An attempt to have Donald grab a stage pass from Glamour’s assitant, Daisy, aka the reason everyone anticipated this episode so much including me, goes sideways because well Donald and he gets trapped in the elevator with her strapped together. Oh and she finds out he’s a party crasher here for his own plans. Great first meeting. Meanwhile Jose and Panchito fail to get past the rest of security, Louie continues to undervalue Dewey and fails to schmooze Glamour, and oh yeah: Graves was pulling a Die Hard the entire time in a really nice twist I didn’t see coming. Graves brings in some familiar hired goons: The smashnikovs and Gabby McStabberson from the pilot, back again if in a minor role. The night is full of many happy returns, but we’ll get to the last suprise guest in a second. Meanwhile Donald bonds with Daisy as both feel ignored: Daisy is revealed to, in line with her charcter in general, be a budding fashion designer who wants her dress, the stunning green number that’s been circulating around, to get on the list and hoped by showing it to Glamour at the party and helping plan it, she’d throw her a bone. I REALLY like Daisy’s character here a LOT. She has Daisy’s empathy, love of fashion, with some added ambition and combat prowess, more on that in a second, while still being willing to call someone out if she has to, and even when she does so to Donald it is after she finds out he was gatecrashing her one shot at getting ahead in her dream career, calming down when she gets an understanding of his reasons and just how lonely he truly feels. Frank scraped together every good part of every version of daisy and left her old, horribly outdated and sexist “nagging girlfriend/wife from every sitcom that came decades after this character was created” characterization used at times dead and buried. Speaking of Donald, the musical number was utterly beautiful, the clear highlight of the episode and wonderfully romantic, while also heartbreaking: and Donald not being listend to DOES really tie into his character for me: no one really has: Della and Scrooge flat out ignored his concerns about space travel, while the boys love him they will, with Huey being the outlier, ignore or dispresct him frequently. And even his two best friends bicker over their own directions for the bands while ignoring him up to the end, something I DO wish had gotten more focus, as do I wish the cabs had gotten just a touch more in general as their mostly off to the side. That being said I like this: besides being somewhat meta given donald’s spare use in season 1 and being only in about half of season 2, I like this: It shows that while he appears to take his family ignroing waht he wants constantly in stride inside he jsut wants SOMEONE to care about what he wants and needs, genuinely care. I mean “The Golden Spear” did show they TRY at times, with the cruise being an especially nice gesture, but most of the time they generally don’t think about donald when planning family outings or what not, it’s just one adventure after another with him left in the dust or fearing for his life. He’s a great adventuer, truly legendary.. but he dosen’t LIKE adventuering. He just wants someone who cares about what he wants.. and he’s found it in someone looking for the same and seeing not someone they love but don’t respect.. but a sweet kind man who just wants for someone to respect what he wants and genuinelyw ork at doing that. And he got it. Before we get to the climax the other main plot, since both plots share equal time this ep really and are really just two halfs of the same main plot, the Dewey and Louie plot is a bit weaker. It’s not BAD but it is predictable, though it was nice to see Louie be the control freak and it makes sense: hustling what he’s good at so of course he wants to see his plan go through and get the glory... but he fails to be actually GOOD at heisting whicha lso makes sense: Louie’s good at manipulationa nd seeing angles.. but he’s so caught up in his own scheme, he can’t see them and is blind to the value of his own brother. While Deweey can be massively unehlpful and attention whorish, he does have a genuine knowledge of the partya nd Glamour that woudl’ve made things go faster, and it does fit his character enough not to be jaring and the ending of it, with Dewey providing a critical distraction AND getting on the list himself, whlie Louie saves his eleven and a huge fight with them, and daisy who proves every bit as badass and prone to bersekerr rages as her man, that’s a treat to see, is predictable, though the bit of Louie giving Dewey a new heist plan with his brother included and admitting he was wrong wa nice. It’s not bad, it just pales in comaprison to the donsy plot right next to it that’s so much fresher and more intersting. However while the main brother conflict is mostly passable, the rest of the heist is wells et up and the ep as a whole shot up from good to great witht he climax, starting with a big, wonderful, and fucking hilarous reveal: Graves was after Glamour’s phone, which acesses her website and sold it off to the highest bidder.. and the second we find out that was his plan, it becomes obvious just whose coming back: Beaksy is back, to graves utter horror after the fiasco from last time, as he wants on the list. And while the minute graves mentioned he was selling off Emma’s phone I could tell Beaks was about to make his way in, the show did throw me a genuine , wonderful curveball: Emma is beaks mother. Given his mom is a cold and distant assholish tastemaker and “Coach Dad” apparently mocked his unatheltic son, it explains.. pretty much everything really. Graves is mortified and eventually just plans to say screw it and kill both for annoying him, another bit I like as it shows even a consumate professional can get fed up with the beaks family, understandably their Duckberg’s version of the Sapperstiens at this point, but Emma is saved by Daisy, who after Graves whaleson donald, returns the favor and beats the shit out of him. It twas glorious. So things wrap up: everyone’s new faviorite couple takes turns telling Emma off who actually concedes to Daisy telling her someone needed to stand up to her, and puts her dress ont he list, graves is arressed by Detective Cabrera (to my utter delight, one last nice suprise) and the boys play their number.. they don’t get on the list because donald can’t sing, but Daisy is smitten and Donald likewise. Also beaks is squatted next to his mom whining like a petulant child because of course he is. All in all a great ending As you could tell I loved this ep. While again the main dewey and louie conflict was just kinda stock and predictable, the amount of energy and heart in the rest of the episode easily overrides it, and I was delighted both to see Graves come back and to see beaks suprise appearnce tying him to both of the episodes antagonists. Overall a well plotted fun romp despite it’s flaws and one of the highlights so far. An instant classic. As for where it ranks... 1. Quack Pack 2. Louie’s Eleven 3. Challenge of the Senior Junior Woodchucks! 4. The Lost Harp of MIrvana! 6. Double O Duck . HOpe you liked the review and if there’s any other episode from the first two seasons of the reboot or from the original, or from the disney afternoon or the animated marvel canon, just throw me a message or an ask. Later days. Stray thoughts; 1. Huey’s bit was gold and I feel for the poor boy. 2. I was mildly disapointed the eleven mostly included exactly who you thought and Manny when we have a rather large supporitng cast to pull from.

#ducktales spoilers #ducktales #Louie's Eleven #donald duck #daisy duck #donsy #louie duck #dewey duck #falcon graves #emma glamour #mark beaks #panchito pistoles #jose carioca #Gyro Gearloose

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