#'greasy man' skit

[heymeowmao]

2023.04.09 - https://weibo.com/l/wblive/p/show/1022:2321324888718699003947

~Long time no see!

bgm: My World (我爱的这个世界), Till the End of the Moon OST LYN: ? I can’t see if there are people in the room, can you? Let me check on weibo... Oh. I can see it now. // I waited for a while and I have only now started seeing the comments. Excuse me. LYN: ?? The gifting option isn’t closed? Huh? Why is that... I don’t know why it’s on. It must be something on wb’s side. Let me tell one of my staff to contact them. It’s alright. Don’t send me any presents, friends!! This is something that can only be closed on wb’s side, I can’t turn it off myself. Let me tell them. Let me tell them, hold on a second. Don’t send me any presents, you don’t need to. // Maybe it’s been too long since I’ve streamed so there’s a mistake in my settings records. It’s alright. Long time no see.

C: Have you gotten thinner again? LYN: I have a bit of shanghuo so I’m not thin right now. But yes, I’ve gotten a bit thinner.

LYN: The song you’ve been listening to is My World (我爱的这个世界). It’s the opening theme song of a fairly hot drama right now, called Till the End of the Moon. It was my honor to have participated in this drama and sing a song for it. If you have the time, I hope you can watch the drama and listen to my song; it’s called “My World (我爱的这个世界)” LYN: I have also sung a song for Nothing But You, but it’s a character song for the role Wu Lei plays. I guess this counts as a second partnership with Wu Lei, yeah? To some degree, it counts. We may not have been able to work together again acting, but in terms of music- this is my second time working with him. bgm: Guest Acts as Host (反客为主), Nothing But You OST

C: WB did on purpose, right? LYN: You think that wb turned on the gifting option on purpose? Look at that- a prime example of “以小人之心，度君子之腹” (judging unfairly a noble person with one’s own despicable mind). WB is such a large platform, do you really think they need to tun on the gifting option for my stream to make a profit? How much money do you think my fans give me?? WB doesn’t need your chump change. That’s definitely not it- there must have been a problem with the settings. Friends, don’t send me any gifts! LYN: You all, really... broaden your horizons!

C: The video and sound don’t match up. LYN: Are you being serious? No way, right? It’s fine, let me reset then. // If it’s still not synced up for you, it’s probably that you lagged and need to come back into the room. Leave and come back, and I’m guessing it will be in sync. My internet is working fine. LYN: I can’t say for anything else, but in terms of my streaming equipment- oh, no. Look at that. I was in such a rush to stream that I forgot to turn my lights on. No wonder the stream is lacking that little bit. /turns the bar light on/ Alright! It’s different already. The lights really change the mood.

LYN: This song is called Guest Acts as Host (反客为主) and it is a character song in Nothing But You. If you have the time you can check out Nothing But You and Till the End of the Moon. They’re both really great dramas. Very nice. Please support them, ok?

LYN: Friends, let me tell you again- don’t send me any gifts. There’s no need to. My stream is just for me to come chat with you, and I don’t rely on streaming to make any money. Secondly, when you gift it affects other people’s viewing experience- we can’t see the comments because they get blocked. Let’s not gift, alright? Honestly, I can’t even see who gifted so even if I wanted to thank you, I can’t. Just don’t gift, alright? It makes me uncomfortable, ok? If you really wanted to spend some money, you can go spend it on some products of brands that I’ve collaborated with. How does that sound? Givenchy, L’Oreal, Chunzhen, etc. You can support the brands I’m working with but there’s no need for you to gift me while I stream. LYN: If you buy something from a bran I’ve worked with online, just leave a note that you are my fan. I also do online shopping, and sometimes after I make my purchase I find out that the artist that the brand has collaborated with is someone I know. Then I make a comment saying, “I’m a fan of [Insert Artist/Celeb Here].” I just want to support my idol. Then when it’s all said and done I take a screenshot of it and I’ll send it to that friend. “I bought the product you are promoting. I support you!” Normally, those who have sense will send you the money back. “You bought it? That’s alright, I’ll gift it to you. How much was it, I’ll pay.” Then you reply, “No need, no need. It was just 1800RMB.” XD Usually they will send you money back and you end up getting the product for free. That’s what I THINK, at least. Up until now not one of my friends has done that, though. When I send my friends such a screenshot, they will usually only send me two words in reply: “Thank you.” /sigh/ LYN: That’s why there’s that saying, friends. The more money people have, the more stingy they are with it. X’D

LYN: Okay- the gifts are closed now, right? See- wb always does things promptly and efficiently. I had a problem and they were able to resolve it right away. They’re great. It’s closed already. C: There are still presents, though? LYN: I think it’s probably left over from earlier- it hasn’t passed yet. Let it finish scrolling and that’ll be the end of it. The gifting option is closed now. C: It’s not... LYN: If it’s not then go out and then come back in. I already told you, wb isn’t lacking your money. They didn’t do it on purpose. If it’s not off for you yet then I think your stream is lagging. It’s already off. They’re very efficient. 

C: Ning-ge, is your foot alright?  LYN: Yesterday... I was doing some fight scenes. I’ll have to do a lot of fight scenes coming up. What happened was... I fell over while I was attacking someone else. This character is all about the two words: fierce and cruel. When I’m on the battlefield, I’m in it until they die or I die. I had thrown my sword and lost my balance and ended up on my butt. I saw that the media blogs were saying I was doing a fight scene and stepped in a puddle and twisted my ankle or whatever. I didn’t twist it. I’m not that fragile. It’s alright- I just ended up sitting on the floor, is all. My butt hurts a little but nowhere else does. LYN: I know a lot of you are worried because my foot isn’t completely healed yet. It’s not healed, but what happened yesterday wasn’t a big deal. I’m fine. C: Is your butt okay? LYN: /laughs/ You don’t need to worry about it. We should still maintain some distance. I’m doing fine.

C: /telling him someone has entered the stream.. Zhao Yingzi (??)/ LYN: I haven’t been to Beijing in a long time. There are a lot of friends I haven’t met in a while. Welcome, Yingzi-jie.

C: Have you confirmed your next drama yet? LYN: I haven’t booked it yet... but I was thinking, a few days ago, I was wondering if I should take a little break. I was considering whether I should take a break, because I’ve been in Hengdian for pretty much three years. Hengdian feels like my second hometown now. With all the guzhuang dramas I’ve been filming, I’ve been in Hengdian for three straight years. I really haven’t been out to other cities in a long while. All of the scripts for later are pretty much just guzhuang dramas but I’m starting to not be able to keep up. Just the slightest bit unable to keep up, you know? LYN: I had a friend ask me the other day what I was planning next and I told them I wanted to do a modern drama. They asked me why I didn’t want to do guzhuang dramas anymore, and I told them it’s because I’ve been in Hengdian for three years- I’ve done five back-to-back guzhuang dramas. Ever since I debuted (as an actor) I’ve only done the one modern drama with Tao-jie in Chengdu and all the rest were guzhuang dramas. I’m a little... tired. But then I backtracked and said, “But if there’s a good script, I will definitely take it.” If it’s a project or role that I really like, it doesn’t matter if I have to shoot another guzhuang drama.

LYN: Honestly though, if there isn’t a good modern drama script that I like I probably... I’ll take a break. I could work on my music or join a variety show. It’ll be good to quiet my mind. But I’m just afraid- you all know me, because you’ve followed me for 3-5 years now- I’m an anxious person. If I don’t have work, I start to worry. That’s why whether it’s with acting or singing- I haven’t stopped once these past three years. But when June of this year marks the five year anniversary of my debut. I was thinking of taking a break, but I don’t know- I’m conflicted. It’s alright. In a few days I’ll take a look at the scripts that have come through and consider picking one; if there’s nothing I particularly like or that suits me It’s possible that I will take a break. C: Ning-ge, shoot another one and then rest. LYN: Why do another? In any case, I’m free after ZY so I might consider it.

C: You’re losing hair. LYN: Yeah, the wig keeps losing hair. I don’t know what’s up with it. I’m not losing my real hair- don’t say nonsense. I have a brand collab! This is a wig- /I’M/ not losing hair. Shush.

C: You’re not thinking about holding a concert? LYN: I am. I have a lot of things to consider, so don’t rush. Just follow along to my rhythm and don’t mess me up. I have a lot to think about. I was thinking about the concert but there are a lot of problems with it. It doesn’t warrant sharing. LYN: I could hold a concert... but I really wanted to have at least two of my dramas air this year before I held it! I’ve been working on dramas all this time, and I wanted at least two of them to air, so that I would show up in front of the public to some degree. Even if I don’t become popular from them, at least people would scroll past my face. After they’ve seen it in passing, THEN I would hold my concert. But look at me now- none of the dramas that have completed filming are ready to be broadcast yet. I don’t have the face to go on a concert tour- once I start it’ll be at least 10 stops. I’m sure that with my amount of fans the first 5-6 stops will be no problem, but I’m worried about the latter 5-4 stops. What happens if I sell 8k tickets and then at the end there are still 5k left over?? It’ll be embarrassing. It’s just not a reasonable thing to do, right now.

- /comments grilling him about the ALZ air date again/ LYN: How would I know when it airs? Even if you see something going around online about it, at most it’s going to be a predicted air date and nothing for sure. Whether it ACTUALLY airs or not is a different story. I can’t be here telling you when it’ll air for sure. The probability is pretty soon, though. It shouldn’t be a problem for it to air soon. LYN: I was notified to supplement a few lines of dialogue. I’m guessing there are some adjustments to the script. I haven’t gone to do them yet... But it’ll air soon, don’t rush. It’s no use asking me because you really won’t be able to get an answer here. I really don’t know but even if I did I wouldn’t just blurt it out. I know there are hordes of people just watching out for my streams. LYN: I made a simple mistake the other time and said I had 300 or so scenes in ALZ and then I got chewed out by the internet. They were all saying I had resources to add in scenes for me. I only have 200 or so scenes- I misspoke is all. That’s why I’m afraid to say anything, now.

C: Are you watching Till the End of the Moon? LYN: All the dramas I sing for, I more or less watch. Including Nothing But You and Romance of a Twin Flower... any drama I’ve sung for I watch a little. First of all- if the platform is looking for me to sing an OST for them, it means they really have good taste. For such a good producer and platform to find me to sing a song for them means they have good taste; so the dramas they make will all definitely be well done. Of course I have to take a look. I have to watch their outstanding products. Secondly, I have to watch to see if there is anything I can learn from these young and upstanding actors. I want to see how they act and performance techniques, to learn. I also watch to see how the drama is created, from the director’s perspective. I want to gain some knowledge and experience. 

C: Ning-ge, you’re trending. LYN: Is it for something good or something bad? What is it today? LYN: Is it good? Main topics at #27? What’s the topic, friends? Don’t scare me. C: “Liu Yuning Livestream” LYN: Oh, then that’s okay. No problem there. That counts as something positive. LYN: I’m on the main tab? I don’t believe that I deserve to be trending on the main tab. The most I can get to is the entertainment tab at #50.

C: Can you turn the speaking volume up? LYN: /adjusts the mic/ Is it very small? Maybe you can wear some headphones or turn your cellphone audio up...? My setting is already pretty high? How about this- is it better now? /testing/ It should be loud enough now. I was just thinking that if I sing I need to have the volume a little lower. It’s better now. I’ve turned it up. LYN: I’m sure it’s loud enough now. The mic is about to “explode.”

C: Ning-ge, recently you’ve upgraded to “God of War for Love” LYN: I’m not that impressive. It’s just that I might be a “security guard of love” in TtEotM. It seems like the other 12 or so songs are very strong? Whether I have the ability to safeguard someone’s love is up to the production crew. It all depends on which scenes they put my song over in the drama. Actually, my song loses out, friends. I used to be called the “Security Guard of Love”, right?  Why was I called that? It’s because- wait, actually can we call me the “Bodyguard”? Security and Bodyguards wear two different outfits. Security guards just wear the uniform; Bodyguards wear suits. Let’s go with “bodyguard.” Anyway, what people meant by this nickname was that once the male and female leads started being sweet with each other my song would start playing. That’s where the name came from. But the problem is, my song is at more of a loss. Because it’s an opening theme song, so it has to match with certain scenes. LYN: Just think about it- the male and female leads are about to kiss, and then here comes my voice, “I’m not afraid of how the world treats me~” Isn’t that strange? “I’ll argue, I’ll refute, struggle not to see Gods or Buddha.” It isn’t really suitable. But! When IS it suitable for this song to make it’s appearance? It’s- and I don’t mean to curse- but when the ML and FL start f*cking each other up. When they’re just about to break up and have a big showdown- that’s when my song is appropriate to be played. When there’s still love in the heart but you still want to hurt each other- that’s when my song is suitable. Only when they’re about to start fighting. If they’re starting to be sweet, then I don’t think this song can save them. I already tried my best. That’s just the style of this song.

C: Turn on the lyrics. LYN: I’ve always had it on but I don’t know why these past few times I haven’t been able to get it to work. Let me see... Maybe if I restart my music program it will let me show the lyrics. I don’t know why it won’t do it today; it was like this the last time I changed my computer, too. See- it’s telling me to turn on the lyrics function, but it’s already on. It’s just not saving me any face. /shrug/ Doesn’t matter. I’ll see if I can get it fixed another day. Don’t worry about it- it’s not important. It’ll be fixed the next time.

C: Lao-da, how about a mouthful (a kiss)? LYN: What are you talking about?? I was saying the ML and FLs were going to take a mouthful (out of each other)! What do I need to get involved for?? LYN: Alright, alright. Here’s a mouthful for you. Cheers.  LYN: Here’s the thing- a lot of my fans are on the older side. One thing is that many of you are already married and another portion have kids who are all grown. If I say something that makes you feel something, you can go find your husbands for a kiss! What are you telling me for?? I’m sure your husband is home from work right now and resting- go get a kiss from him. Go, go. I’ll play a song to wait for you. C: I’M SINGLE! LYN: Who are you telling that to?? You want me to find you a partner? I can’t help you- if you want to find one, you’ll have to look for yourself. I can’t help there. I hope that one day, you too, will find someone to get a kiss out of. For the moment, I can’t help you. C: Ning-ge, I’m only 18. I don’t have a boy/girlfriend yet. LYN: No, don’t tell me. It has nothing to do with me, so you don’t have to tell me. I don’t need to know such private information about you, and I don’t WANT to know. 

C: Gege, I’m a new fan. LYN: Don’t call me “gege”. When you call me that, then I know you are a new fan. In my house, no one calls me “gege”. I feel like only cool handsome boys can be called “gege”. Let’s be closer than that- let’s be neighbors. Don’t call me “gege”- I can’t take it. Call me “Ning-ge” if you’re younger than me. “Xiao Ning” if you’re older. Or... “Da-ge” or “Lao-da” are okay as well. Just not “gege” because I feel like you’re not trying to address me. I am not “gege”. My old fans pretty much all call me “Lao-da.” I’m just used to it. LYN: Alright, enough. I’m trying to stream here, stop trying to provoke me. My wig isn’t on right today. If I were a little more handsome then you can provoke me a little. But my appearance today is not handsome enough for it, so you can stop, okay? Next time, next time.

- /Wayne Zhang is in the chat/ LYN: See? Sometimes having a trending topic is a good thing, because then some celebrities might wander in. Now we have one. Since I’m trending, now everyone knows that LYN is live-streaming, so even if they came to watch a monkey, they will still swing by. Even if you don’t like me, you’ll still come in to take a look. Thanks to everyone who made this trending topic possible, and thanks to wb. Of course, you can also go into the topic and leave your opinions of it there. Alright? Thanks, everyone. Once the discussion starts getting heated, then the topic rises in ranks, too. XD - C: Ning-ge, I’ll call you “Hou-ge” (Monkey-bro). LYN: 去你的. - LYN: If you go into the topic today and leave a comment, you can all get a 5yuan discount on my concert ticket from my stream. Go and leave a comment, and we’ll send it to you. But you can only use one coupon per ticket. Alright, go. C: Ning-ge, you’re not giving eggs this time? LYN: Do you think I am a supermarket? I won’t be giving eggs, I can’t manage it. - C: The coupon won’t expire? LYN: As long as I’m still alive it will be valid. One day when I’m gone it automatically expires.

--

LYN: It’s been a while since I streamed last. These days I’ve been doing 10+ scenes a day. The most is 13 in one day- it almost dazed me. Today our drama group shoots posters- you know the kind you see normally when a drama is about to air? The FL and I have spent all day shooting posters. I was in hair and makeup at 6:30a, we did one scene, and then the rest of the day was spent shooing promo posters (海报). Not the kind of “haibao” that you see in the aquarium (seal = 海豹). If we went to pet seals, that’d be something. But no, we went to shoot posters. Up until now this is the drama that I’ve spent the most time on shooting posters for. I took so many pictures I got tired- so tired that my smile turned numb.  C: Ning-ge, are you the male lead? LYN: In ZY I’m just a background actor. I know a lot of friends ask me if it’s okay for them to come be a background actor in the dramas I am cast in. Let me tell you- even background actors need an entrance card. Not everyone can do it! Don’t just assume that if even if you can’t act, you can come be a background actor. Not everyone can do it; you need to have some basic techniques. Friends, let me give you a crash course in “how to be a background actor” right now.

LYN: There are three basic ways to perform. I know a lot of you watching might have an interest in performing but if you really wanted to be a background actor- in my five years of experience acting- the group actors have to be skilled in these three things. 1. Create the Atmosphere. Usually these types of characters have some dialogue. You need to stick your hand out. Watch this. For example, there’s a drunk guy in the front- just a beggar who does nothing. This is how a group actor would perform, you’d stand at the side and do this: “Beat him to death! Beat him to death!” Isn’t it simple?? Have you learned it already?! It’s something you can understand immediately. You can’t just stand there and yell, though. That lacks feel. You have to use your fist. /pumps his arm up and down while chanting, “Beat him to death!”/ 2. Point and Comment. Usually this occurs when the emperor or a general, or the handsome male lead enters through the city doors. There are commoners on either side of the path, and they will point and comment. /demonstrates/ As long as you’ve mastered the “Point and Comment�� you are one step closer to becoming a group actor. The P&C isn’t only used in this one situation, either. /gives another example of when to use this technique/ You can use this in a lot of places. You got the second technique down now, right? 3. Peddler. Among the group actors, you could be a passerby or you could be a vendor. Now you’ll need some ability to say lines. The other one was okay- we all know how to say “Beat him to death!”, right? The second technique didn’t require lines- you just need to use your hands to point. Now the third technique needs some basic training. If you’re a peddler, you’ll need to say something like, “Biscuits! One for 5 yuan! Come try it! Warm, fresh biscuits! Lady, please take a look! These are our shop’s best products.” Now for this you’ll need some basic skills; you have to be able to lure people in. Once you’ve got these three basics, plus a “art of dying” (??) down, you can come to Hengdian to be a background actor. It’s possible that you could participate in some drama. “Candied hawthornes! Come take a look!!” You have to have a loud voice, too. LYN: Of course, there are more detailed performances, but I don’t understand the nuances and I have no right to teach you. But if you want to be a background actor, come to the interview with these three basics down first and your success rate might be higher. Your success rate might be higher, but whether you actually get the job or not is a different story. Many of you want to come be background actors, so I’ve just given you a couple of tips on challenges you might face if you ever come to interview. I’ve told you the topics so now you can go learn. 

LYN: Friends, take what I say in my streams as “for fun” only, alright? I don’t recommend for you to come and be background actors, because in reality they work very hard. It’s very hard work. I just want to say that this is only a small topic of my stream, and you should listen for entertainment purposes only. But I certainly don’t mind if you come; just know that it’s hard work.  C: If I act as a body (corpse) would I have a better time? LYN: I know you’re thinking that all you have to do is lie on the floor. But think about it more- You want to lay on the floor in the dead of winter? Do you think we’re setting down heating mats for you first? You’ll probably be wearing a layer of clothing and once you’re on the floor you’ll be laying there all night. It’ll do a number on your body. So don’t come... unless this is your dream (to be an actor). If you just want to come to get a taste of what it’s like then I don’t suggest it.

C: Trending on main at #7. LYN: Thank you, friends. That discount is guaranteed. LYN: I want to welcome the new friends to my stream. Sometimes when I have time I come to chat. If you still haven’t subscribed to my weibo, please do so. I am Modern Brothers Liu Yuning. Welcome all.

C: If you’re acting as a body, can you still breathe? LYN: Em... it’s better if you don’t. But if we don’t let you breathe, you’re going to die for real. The thing is when the camera is rolling, it’s not always going to be aimed at you- because you’re just a background actor. The camera won’t always be on you, but it might pass over you. At that time you can hold your breath and pretend not to be breathing. You can breathe again when the camera has passed you. We want you to come and perform as a corpse, not for you to come play a corpse and ACTUALLY become one. We don’t need that. LYN: In that case you’d be TOO invested in the drama. There’s no need. “Ning-ge, let me go perform as a background actor. I can go a whole night without breathing.” You’d be dead! Let’s try not to do that, please. C: Then if I am acting as a corpse, should I roll my eyes (show the whites of them)? LYN: /laughs/ There’s no need! You just need to close your eyes and try to even out your breathing and that’s enough. What do you need to roll your eyes for?? You’ve left the world, but still want to show how much you despised it? You can’t do that. Just try to be as realistic as possible. Plain and simple.  C: Do I need to spit blood? LYN: Spitting blood... it depends. It depends on how you- what type of body you are. Some need you to spit blood and for others you’re face down anyway so no one will see it. 

C: Can I lay there and fall asleep? LYN: If you CAN sleep, that’s okay. Just don’t snore. I will often see some background actors around set when we are practicing lines, and they’re off to the side: /snoring/. I was dumbfounded. Another was acting as a corpse and started snoring. I said, “...If you’re too sleepy, then you should go back and rest. Go back (home) to sleep. Don’t sleep here.” I even advised the co-director to tell them to go back. It’s sad. I encountered this situation at least two or three times. We were practicing lines and you start hearing snoring from the sides. /fierce dialogue, followed up by snoring X’D/ We’re so bad at fighting we make the other party sleep. C: Cover da-ge with a blanket. LYN: No need. He’s just too tired and should go back (home) to sleep. He’s worked hard. We shouldn’t need to waste his time and make him sleep on set. Let him go rest.

--

C: When will ALZ air? [t/n: dude... stop asking him this question...] LYN: This question has come in so many times already today. I guess there’s some news circulating online that says when ALZ is going to air, is that it? They already made some sort of announcement? Honestly, as one of the actors myself, I don’t even know when it will air.  The last time I heard anything, it was that it would air in September 2022. That was the last time I heard of it. As to what the new date is, I did not receive any information about it.  - C: This is my first time catching LYN’s livestream. LYN: Welcome. - C: It already finished airing... LYN: /laugh/ No, it didn’t. The last bit of information I knew about it has already expired. It shouldn’t have aired yet. It can’t have. I’m guessing it should be soon, though. I’m guessing... can I predict a date? No, wait- I shouldn’t. LYN: I really don’t know.

C: You starting streaming and you didn’t tell me?? You’re too much. LYN: ... What do you mean?? The next time I stream... what, do you want me to call you directly? “Hello [insert name]. I’m going to be streaming later.” That’s not necessary. I suppose you mean that weibo didn’t send you a notification? That’s why you should hit “subscribe”- that way it will tell you when I’m streaming.

C: When is ZY wrapping? LYN: We’re going to be moving location to Xiangshan soon. After that, the wrap will probably be around the end of May.

C: Are you watching TtEotM? LYN: Someone asked me that already- I did watch a little. I always watch some of the dramas that I sing for. Because I think that for the platform to find me to sing for their project means that they have good taste. I like to see what type of dramas people with good taste will make. So I can learn. I really do watch. - C: Trending at #6. LYN: I saw it. It’s rare. I just stream and can get a topic at #6? - C: Then, do you have platform memberships? LYN: Here’s the thing, friends. As an actor, I have memberships to every platform. That’s the truth. Youku, Tencent, iQIYI, and MangoTV. I have memberships to them all. Today Mango even took 20RMB from my account because I signed up for automatic billing. I have them all- even though I have not been in a MangoTV drama yet- but the other platforms all think highly enough of me that they are willing to let me be in their dramas. So the least I can do is sign up for membership. Mutual respect. I’m a Super VIP. Any comments I make come up in rainbow colors- I can choose what color I make my text.  C: Let me borrow (your memberships). LYN: You don’t have a membership? You can make one. Right? I mean, you’re free to sign up for a membership or not- that’s your own freedom. But it’s like this- when I have dramas airing, please sign up then, okay? You can sign up and pay for a membership when dramas that I am in are airing. That’s my small request to you. Thank you. LYN: Now people are starting to make trouble. “What do you mean, LYN? That means that as long as there is not a drama with you in it that is airing, then we can’t sign up for memberships on those three platforms?? What you mean is that if not for you, then people shouldn’t buy a membership, isn’t that right?” How naughty. This is a bad person, friends. There’s no good way to answer this question. They’re breaking down my word choice to use against me. I said, “When my dramas air, please sign up for a membership.” Then they’re going to say, “What do you mean?? That means that we shouldn’t have a membership to watch the dramas you sang OSTs for like Nothing But You or Romance of A Twin Flower, etc.??” It’s like this, friend- I didn’t tell you NOT to buy a membership. I didn’t say, “If my dramas don’t air, then don’t buy a membership.” Those words didn’t come out of my mouth, right? Also, everyone watching my stream right now- you are all your own person. You have personal freedom, and there’s no way I can force you to do anything nor can I influence you to change your way of thinking. I only requested that you sign up for a membership when my dramas are airing. Give me some face. If you care about what other dramas are airing, then go find THOSE actors to hang around and casually chat with you. Negotiate with them! I’m just here sincerely asking my friends to purchase a membership when my dramas are airing (to support me). If you want to watch other dramas and think it’s unfair then you can find those other actors. Don’t take it up with me. Leave a comment on their profile: “I watch(ed) your drama. Should I buy a membership or not?”

C: Ning-ge, calm down. LYN: Oh, I apologize. I’m someone who is trending right now, aren’t I? I have to watch myself. See- I almost fell for someone’s trick. The internet is so evil. Friends, I think that as a new generation of youth, those living in this era, we have to have awareness. Whether it is for music or for video, I think it is only proper that we slowly come to the understanding that we need to pay a price for content. We have to change on our mindset, on this front. Just like when we were young. When I was young I liked to play computer games, but the games that I played were mostly pirated. This is when I was very little- I didn’t know what it was to buy games and at most would buy the discs. In reality most of those discs were bootleg. When I grew up and continued to play games, I would never buy the pirated version. I would spend the money for the official thing. I feel like I should pay for the content, and I hope that everyone can also start adopting this habit. Okay? We should pay for content. For example, if you want to sign up for some platform’s membership, it will cost you 20RMB per month. Or 25-30RMB. You can use this 20RMB to watch the drama you like, but you can also watch other dramas/movies, too. It’s not as if saving this 20RMB per month will make much of a difference in your life and will make it so much better for having not spent it. Instead, it might let you have MORE of a life. It’s not a huge difference but it does make one. I’m not trying to force you into this belief that a membership would better your life. Honestly, it’s all up to each individual. I just want to share my perspective on it.

C: Ning-ge, do you have a quota? LYN: I don’t get it, what do you mean? Are you trying to say that I’m telling you to purchase a membership to watch my drama, and you will all be considered my customers? Is that what you mean? That your membership will be associated with my drama and therefore count towards my “quota”? Actually the platform CAN see this type of data. I won’t try to make an example out of anyone else, let’s just use myself. Let’s say LYN’s drama has aired, and a lot of people came to watch this particular drama. Or it could be that very little people are watching the drama. There’s no way to tell which way it will go. But- they are able to tell how many people, in order to watch the rest of the drama, sign up for a VIP membership. There’s data for this and it’s a normal part of the process. However, I am not amazing enough to be able to influence this KPI at all, so the platforms don’t have any of this type of expectation from me. I can’t influence the KPI, even though of course I wish I did. 

--

C: Ning-ge, sit closer towards the guitar. You’re off-center. LYN: I was off-center. You all are too strict. Even if I sit off-center, it’s uncomfortable to you?

C: Ning-ge, have you gotten thinner? LYN: I have, just a little. These days I don’t really eat at night. Even if I get really hungry, I’ll still not eat. I’m trying to get thinner.

C: Ning-ge, I was catching up on your streams and then you started streaming. LYN: What a coincidence, right? 

LYN: Hold on a second, friends... Don’t speak. Hold on for a minute. /”listening”/ !! Friends- I think my neighbors are fighting. Really. I think they’re fighting. How about this- wait for me. Okay? Wait three minutes for me. I’m going to take a look. My neighbors- I hope nothing happens. They’re fighting. Let me go take a look. /setting up the video/ Wait for me. (x2) -- break #1 LYN: I’m back. They weren’t fighting, they were watching... /long pause/ Till the End of the Moon. They were watching the drama- on the first episode. You know- they’re all fighting. I thought the neighbors were fighting but their tv volume was on too high. I told them to keep it down, so it doesn’t effect my streaming. 

LYN: Look at this, friends. See how high the price:product ratio is when you have LYN sing an OST for you?? People always ask me, “Ning-ge, why are YOU always singing drama OSTs?” It’s because my main thing is “After-Sales Services”. It’s not that they pay me for a song and I just make a single weibo post about it later and that’s it. I come with after-sales service. If you use LYN you know you can rely on getting the best service. I want to make sure my service:credit ratio is high. LYN: Our main focus is “After-Sales” and “Price:Product Ratio”. Of course, it’s not like I just accept any and all work. I know I’ve sung a lot of OSTs but there are some I’ve turned down. First of all, I have to like the song. I accept the work if I like the song and if I don’t like it then I turn it down. That, you have to know. I don’t just accept anything that comes to me. It’s not a matter of “good” or “bad” but more a matter of if I personally like it or not.  

C: Will you sing the OST for ZY? LYN: Of course I’ve got to get myself one. Think about it- in this drama I am playing a role that will perhaps have some... emotional interactions with the FL, and then “ga”. There’s my voice. It’ll be like you can hear the sound of my heart; expressing my feelings. That’s a different type of mood, you know? So for my own dramas, I will always ask if there’s a way I can negotiate to have the honor of being a part of the OST. C: Like when you go in for a mouthful (kiss)? LYN: No! I said “emotional interactions”! That’s- you know? EMOTIONAL INTERACTIONS. Um... don’t say any nonsense! What are you talking about.. “go in for a mouthful”... LYN: But for my own dramas I will always try to participate in the OST, to make it more interactive. I’ll definitely have a song for ZY... and YNGS as well. I should be singing two for YNGS. I also sang one for ALZ. Any drama that I have personally been in, I will sing for. I have to get that for myself.

LYN: /looking at his phone/ C: What are you laughing at? LYN: No, it’s my friend. My friend was asking me when I would be having my concert. I’m guessing they went to watch some concert recently... You know this friend, too. It’s a male. I won’t say the name, though. He just asked me when I was having my concert, and I told him to keep waiting. I was just wondering why he was asking me the exact same question you all were.

C: Will ZY use your original voice? LYN: Probably. I mean, no- ever since CGX the one requirement I had of myself was to do my own voice acting. Even though it’s not the best, because my Standard Mandarin isn’t the greatest yet. But I try to strive to do my own voice acting (if the director/platform allows), so that I can make the role more complete. Secondly, if I have high standards for myself then that means that I can improve all the faster.  LYN: ZY will probably use about 80% original audio- that’s whatever sound was recorded at the time of shooting the scene. So the post-production for that and the required voice-acting will be less. We might only need to go supplement if there was noise interference or if the dialogue wasn’t perfect or if there are places we need to change the lines entirely. Other than that, about 80% of the drama should be with original audio. C: Ning-ge, I saw the audio receiver. LYN: I’m not sure what you mean by that. Do you mean you saw the boom mic? Every drama has that. It’s not just this drama, every one of them has it. This drama is mostly shot indoors or inside a tent so recording audio is comparatively easier. Obviously, if we’re shooting outside, there will be a lot more noise interference. You’ll end up recording what someone else or just passing by is saying. You’ll record that someone nearby is selling buns. We’re over here trying to shoot a guzhuang drama and then you hear from nearby, “Phone screen protectors!” That’s weird. We have a lot of indoors scenes so we’ll have a better time recording audio. 

C: Ning-ge, why are you wearing a wig?  LYN: I went to do a scene today and later went to shoot the drama posters. I have to have the wig on for the posters, so my hair has been stuck under the cap all day and is now plastered to my head. If I want to come home to stream but show my own hair I would have to take a shower and then style it. I have to make it look good before I start the stream. But that takes up a lot of time. If I get home, take a shower, and do my hair it’ll be at least an hour. I was thinking I wouldn’t waste time and just stick another wig on and be done with it. 

C: [something about a scene from the original novel??] LYN: No- The drama ZY... the scenes in the original novel that you’re thinking of can’t be put on film. Don’t think wildly. If this drama really stuck to the original novel I’m guessing that the actors and directors would all be put in jail. It’s terrifying. So there’s no need. I don’t see the need to put myself into a work of art like that. It’s not necessary. It’s too scary. C: You’ve read the original novel? LYN: The thing is, now is the age of information. Even if I haven’t read the original novel, there are all sorts of sources that will continuously relay to me information regarding the content of it. This era is like that- information at your fingertips. I will always be reminded of the contents of the novel and of the opinions of the original fans of the novel. I know about the contents you’re referring to, probably. We won’t discuss that in my stream, though. If we say too much then my stream can very easily be closed down. Let’s not discuss it. LYN: As for the actual content of the drama, let’s all wait for the drama to air and purchase a VIP membership and we can find out what happens together. Alright? You can watch it and then you’ll know what all is involved.  [t/n: The novel’s title is “Bending at the Waist” which ah.. can be interpreted quite literally for the novel. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Apparently it’s very not safe for tv lol. ]

C: Talk about Weibo Night. LYN: Have I not streamed since then? Did I not stream after Weibo Night?? After I attend and event a lot of friends will come ask me about my thoughts on it. I didn’t stream? So- what do you want me to say about it? There’s nothing to say. I just went to Weibo Night for fun and to see celebrities. C: How do you feel about it? LYN: It was fun. Because I’ve been holed up in various drama crews this was a nice opportunity to attend an event and take a breather. I also met up with a lot of friends I haven’t seen in a long time. The schedule was pretty tight though, so by the end of the night there are many more people that you didn’t even get to greet before it’s already over. It was rushed. We were tight on time. C: Were you able to get any autographs? LYN: I didn’t get a chance. :( When I went the event had basically already started so I was directed straight to my seat. I was just watching the proceedings- they were already giving out the awards. I didn’t event get a chance to say hi to my friends, so how could I have the time to ask anyone for an autograph? If it were a gala, then there would have been more of a chance to get to chat. // I pretty much told you all my thoughts about Weibo Night during my interview with them. I won’t say anything more- just go watch that interview. I said... quite a lot.  LYN: Usually when I get interviewed it goes like this- all the people who had interviewed me before didn’t really know me, then. They would all tell me, “LYN-laoshi, I hope that during the interview you could say a few more words. Share with us more. We hope that you can say more.” I just replied with, “Okay. Don’t worry about it.” Then by the end of it nearly all of the interviewers were the ones telling me, “Okay, laoshi. That’s enough.” But I can shoot back with, “There were three more questions, though? I thought you said you had prepared fifteen questions. You’ve only asked me twelve. There are still three more. Don’t worry- I’m not in a rush. I can answer.” They say, “We have enough material. We can stop here.” “There are still other artists waiting for us. It’s- it’s enough.” They probably didn’t know me very well, and were worried I would have too little to say. Let me tell you, once I open my mouth there’s no stopping me. It just so happens that the location was inconvenient, otherwise my shoes would be off and I’d be getting comfortable. LYN: Basically that interview had all my thoughts on the matter. It was nice to see so many familiar faces, even though I didn’t get a chance to greet them. We were short on time.

--

C: Ning-ge, can you sing 问风 (Ask the Wind)? LYN: I don’t know. /plays the song/ This, right? I don’t think there’s an accompaniment for it... /sings along anyway/ -- 问风 (Ask the Wind) LYN: For entertainment purposes only.

C: What about 笑红尘 (Laughing at the Mundane World)? LYN: I remember that last time I was supposed to get the accompaniment track... I couldn’t find it. I wanted to copy it over but I couldn’t get it. I lost it. But I did find and get other versions.

C: 海 (Ocean). LYN: I really did want to sing that song, but I can’t. I can’t.

LYN: What else is there? C: 冥冥有声. LYN:  冥冥有声... Didn’t I promise to sing that, the last time? - /jumps in too early, but sings the first few lines/ LYN: Let me sing it. It’s been a long time since I sang. Let me look up the lyrics. LYN: /sigh/ Why can’t I find the lyrics? Is this song so unpopular, now?? I can’t even find the lyrics. It can’t be THIS unpopular, right? I remember this song was quite well-received... Oh, there are. Sorry about that. :) Let me find some glasses. Let’s wear this colored pair, to cover up some of my shyness. /showing a different pair/ Forget it. Friends- I think you all wear colored lenses to watch my stream. Let’s go with the colored ones. LYN: It’s been a long time since I last sang. I’m a little... unaccustomed to it. I didn’t put this wig on that great today, either...  /making further adjustments/ -- 冥冥有声 (Ming Ming You Sheng) LYN: It’s been a long time since I last sang this song. I almost can’t sing it anymore. But I hope you liked it.

C: 让酒 (Rang Jiu). LYN: Wow, Rang Jiu, really. - /starts but ends up singing the wrong verse/ LYN: !! Friends- seems like the stream lagged a little. Oh? It lagged. How curious. My internet is fine now. Let me do that again. - /missed the timing/ LYN: It lagged again! The internet is so bad right now, it lagged again. Let’s try again, sorry. I have to contact the- oh? Look, now it’s lagging for real this time. You saw that, right?? -- 让酒 (Rang Jiu)

--

C: Wei Shuyu is here. LYN: Fang Yilun, you mean? Welcome. Don’t call him Wei Shuyu, he- he has a name. It’s Fang Yilun. Wei Shuyu is a character he played in the past. Of course, if you’re on the street and someone calls you by the name of a character you acted as before it does count as a sort of recognition... but welcome, Fang-laoshi. Maybe after YNGS airs, you’ll call him by another name: Yu Shisan. C: Mao Shiba. LYN: No, not Mao Shiba (毛十八). Yu Shishan (于十三). I’ve worked together with him again. We got to work together on YNGS. It was a fun and smooth time. Our scenes together are also very exciting, so I hope you can take a look. LYN: I told you all to watch YNGS, and I saw one of you say, “No. I won’t be watching, I’ll be judging.” ... You think you’re so great? Huh? Are you a judge? Have you created a name for yourself in the jianghu as the “Video Judge”? You have to pass judgement on all dramas? Who has the time to play with you?? Oh, my goodness.

C: Director Guan is here. LYN: Welcome! See, I told you. It’s easy to gather some big names in my stream. Welcome, welcome. C: He left. LYN: It’s okay, he probably clicked into the wrong topic. It doesn’t matter. It’s nice that he came in to take a look, anyway. He’s gone? It’s not important. He just came in to take a look. Maybe he has some projects in the future and wanted to work with me. He came in to see if my image matches with what he has in mind. Maybe he saw me and decided I wasn’t a good fit and just left. XD He came in and thought better of it upon seeing me with my white hair and deciding I didn’t look like a good person. “This kid doesn’t look normal.”

LYN: Friends, you know what. I really am rethinking my hairstyle today. Wait for me a second. I’m going to go grab a hat. LYN: Now with the addition it sort of adds a bit of that gloomy feeling. Do you think so? It IS hot, yes. This hood sure insulates my head well, but that’s not the main focus. Does it make me look like a gloomy man? Is it a little better than the non-mainstream look from earlier? Is it better?

LYN: These days I’ve been seeing some videos online, where the content is to imitate a cheesy/greasy men. I don’t know if you’ve seen those videos? The blogger is imitating greasy moments. Friends, I can also imitate it. Let me show you some. Let’s go. 3, 2, 1. Start! ~LYN: Miss, are you alone? Here, I’ll treat you to a drink. 

~ LYN: Here, I’ll scan your WeChat ID. // What? You didn’t bring your phone? Let’s do this. Remember my phone number. When you get home... /snaps his fingers/ ...remember to add me. ~LYN: What was that? What have I been busy with lately? I’ve been working on a $50M business project. I got a contract recently, for $50M or so. It’s not important. I don’t even show up myself for things like this. I’ll have someone take care of it. ~LYN: Huh? What did you say? / It’s not important. To me, this is chump change. I still have a $1B project in negotiations. It’s whatever. Here, pretty girl. I’ll scan for your WeChat ID. LYN: That’s enough, right? ~LYN: You think it’s enough, but I don’t think so.

- /setting up for his second break & pretends to take a call/ LYN: Hey. What’s up? Don’t be nervous, bro. What’s wrong. Just tell me what’s up. - /moves the mic away/ LYN: YOU’RE HAVING A BABY?! - /brings the mic back & continues to set up the scenario/ -- break #2  - /comes back missing a couple layers/ C: Where are your clothes? LYN: I didn’t have 200RMB to give to my friend for his baby so I took off my clothes and gave them to him.  C: You could have sent it virtually. LYN: You’re going to go look at a person’s baby and send them 200RMB via money transfer?? LYN: I ran downstairs and it was too hot so I took them off.  C: You gave your clothes to the baby. LYN: /laughs/ no.

C: Ge, can you take a look at my kid? [t/n: bc there’s an old saying that a child grows up to look like the first person it sees.] LYN: It’s too late. I can’t see your kid. It’s too late, sorry. Friends, how about this. I know that many of you could have just had a kid. If you want your kid to look like me- please don’t- there are so many handsome boys in this industry, those with god-like visuals. The term that could be used to describe me the most is ‘pu xin nan (普信男)’ (the most trustworthy man in the world / 普天之下最适合信任的男人). I am a ‘ma bao nan (妈宝男)’ (哎哟妈呀! 宝藏男孩.) But even though I am a “treasure boy” if you want your child to grow up good-looking, you’d be better off choosing pictures of more handsome people for them to look at. Take a promotional poster and print it out and have your kid look at it every day. They will grow up looking like the picture. If you show them my face, if they end up in the entertainment industry one day they’re going to get yelled at for being ugly. Find a picture of a male artist who’s never been yelled at for being ugly before and show your child a picture of them. LYN: My previous experience is that I’ve done a lot of jobs that people consider to be of the lowest tier of society. That’s why I have a considerably strong mindset. I’ve seen and experienced all sorts of things. Especially when I was a waiter, a sales clerk, or singing in the bar- all sorts of messy things. I’ve already experienced the cruel side of society that most workers have faced. But if you treat your child ends up looking like me but you’ve treated them well all their life, when they get cursed at by the entertainment industry for being ugly it’s not going to be a very nice outcome. They won’t be able to take it.

LYN: There’s another thing. I know that some fans- you love me a lot and have subscribed to my weibo... but at the same time you like watching other people’s streams. Of course, I don’t have the ability to stop you from watching other people’s streams and I don’t think I need to. You can watch. That’s your freedom and your enjoyment. But you don’t need to go into other people’s streams and then start sharing with them how I do things and my experiences. PLEASE do not go into someone else’s stream and then start commenting about how I used to be a waiter. And how when I was a waiter I was being yelled at every day and then later learned how to be a cook. And how after I graduated from culinary school I was still bullied and wasn’t allowed to go home at night until I had prepared a huge tub of wood ear fungus. Don’t do that. Sometimes I will bring up these stories and tell you in a joking manner, but what I’m doing is just sharing my previous work experience with you. I want to share with you refined tips on how to survive in society, and how you should persist or adjust your mentality. I use a joking manner to share with you times I have experienced that maybe weren’t exactly the happiest moments of my life. I’m sharing with you as an amusing story, and it’s coming from my mouth. But if you go and circulate it, it sounds like I’m trying to play the pity card. I hate people who try to make you feel sorry for them and I don’t want to become that person. Please don’t go around spreading the news of what jobs I’ve worked before. Because the fact of the matter is that it doesn’t matter how worse off I was, because I am doing better now. I’m in a good place now, so what’s the point of telling people about the bad times I had? There’s no need. You want people to PITY me? No need. Just keep looking forward. LYN: If people don’t like you, they’re not going to make an effort to try to understand you. They won’t empathize, and they won’t care about how much shit you went through to get to where you are today. What does it have to do with them?? It doesn’t. So you don’t need to go around schooling people about me. You can recommend my music instead, or my projects. Just don’t go around telling people about my miserable life experiences and what I’ve been doing for the past few years. There’s absolutely no need for that. Got it? Please remember this.

LYN: /laugh/ There are always people trying to send secret signals through my stream.  C: Ning-ge, if you see my comment make a “V”! LYN: You’re always trying to trade signals with me. This is making it seem as if you and I are very close. I won’t make a “V”, instead I’ll give you a “Thumbs Up.”

C: Ning-ge, your hairstyle is kind of.. messy. LYN: This is what I’m going for. To make it seem as if I’ve been through a lot.  C: Why do you keep wearing wigs? LYN: I already said, because I was filming earlier. In order to put the drama wig on, my hair’s full of wax. They comb it until my hair is close to my head and they gather up the ends in wax and apply the wig. When I get off work they take the wig off and all my hair is stuck to my head. I’m supposed to take a shower to wash it all out but I came to stream. If I were to shower and get ready again it would be too late. It’s a little complicated like that so I figure I could just slap on another wig and be done with it. C: You can wash and stream at the same time. LYN: No need.

LYN: Some of you are watching my stream but the audio and visual do not match up, yeah? Don’t worry, I’ll have this fixed by the next stream. Because I have set the settings to 60fps- I’m not sure how many of you understand? It’s at 60fps so you can have a high quality viewing experience. But after adding up all this software, the connection isn’t strong enough to keep up. That’s why sometimes there’s the inconsistency. Next time I’ll just adjust it a little lower and it should be okay. C: The lyrics don’t show either. LYN: The lyrics... I’ll work on them for next time.

LYN: Hold on a sec. - /goes to put on a white blazer/ LYN: I wanted to change my clothes.

C: Where is Miss “How About a Sausage?”? LYN: She’s there. /gestures offscreen/

C: How about 黑夜一束光 (Praying)? LYN: I can. Let’s do it. / Let me see if I have the track. I do! -- 黑夜一束光 (Praying//A Ray of Light in the Darkness) LYN: This song is hard. 

-- 天问 (Ask the Heavens) LYN: I sang this song and someone commented, “宝刀未老” (old but still vigorous)... If you- If you don’t know how to use this expression/idiom then you can say something else. Alright?? If you don’t know how to use idioms/proverbs then don’t! What do you mean “OLD BUT VIGOROUS”??? Is that something you can use to describe a sprightly young man?!? LYN: I know they meant well. They wanted to say, that I sing this song very well. But using “old but vigorous”... what the heck?? I am in the prime of my youth and even qualify to attend the Youth Festival. Stop blindly applying idioms!

C: Then, “new but still vigorous”. LYN: My goodness... - /playing with more idioms/proverbs/ C: 徐娘半老 (Middle-aged woman but still attractive; lady of a certain age) LYN: /sigh/ Get out. This stream doesn’t welcome you. You can leave. If you don’t leave, I’ll kick you out.  - /more idioms/proverbs/ LYN: I only have four words for you “Get. The. Legal. Team.” I’m going to sue you. You are in my stream blatantly destroying my good name.

C: 阳光开朗大男孩. (Sunny and Cheerful Big Boy) LYN: /plays the song and starts singing along/ -- 阳光开朗大男孩 (Sunny and Cheerful Big Boy) C: There really is such a song? LYN: Music knows no bounds.

LYN: Friends, you might now know- actually I’m a rapper. /laugh/ I kind of want to be a rapper now. LYN: Anyway, don’t call me “old but still vigorous”, I am a “sunny and cheerful big boy.” C: Now, Qilin (麒麟). LYN: Every time I say I’m a rapper, you all want to hear Qilin. It’s always like this. I only know those few lines. / Let me dress like a rapper. I don’t look like one right now. /puts on a pair of shades/ Do I give off the feel of a rapper now? Do I look like one? No? /grabbing something- a crazy hat/ How about now? 

C: What the heck is that? LYN: You don’t know this? This is why I can’t talk fashion with you. You really don’t know what this is?? You don’t? Forget it- I won’t tell you. Because I don’t know, either. So it’s not important. Let me see which hat is most appropriate... this one.

LYN: How’s this? Do I look like a rapper? LYN: Friends- the person you are seeing now is not Liu Yuning. It doesn’t matter who I am. Just- this doesn’t represent my market value. Right now I will be playing a role... the Sunny and Cheerful Big Boy. Let’s go. This is a song that’s popular recently. ~I’ll gift it to you.~ -- 雪Distance LYN: Do you think this type of rap is okay? C: No. // Don’t like it. LYN: But this song is actually really nice. You probably just can’t accept things that are too new.

LYN: But I do think this hat is bringing my visuals to a new low. I’ll take it off. - [t/n: he looks like a mad scientist] LYN: /shaking his head/ It’s over. I can’t save my hairstyle or this look today. I’m just a Funny Boy, now. Alright? It doesn’t matter too much because I’m about ready to stop streaming anyway.  C: You sang nice. Next time, don’t. // The hairline is too low. LYN: You’re right, it is too low. I was wondering why it was uncomfortable to look at- no wonder. It turns out that too low of a hairline is ugly. Too high is also ugly. Living is hard. C: Ning-ge, I’m a Funny Girl. We’re a match made. LYN: No, no. Let me tell you, friends. When two people get together, if their personalities are too similar there are going to be problems. You have to be complementary. You’re a Funny Girl and I am a Funny Boy so we are not compatible. I have rejected you. C: Ning-ge, I’m not a Funny Girl but a Nerdy Girl. Are we compatible? LYN: No. The most important thing when two people are getting together is that you need to have common topics of discussion. Two people need to have a sense of humor so that there can be common topics of conversation. You’re a Nerdy Girl, so we’re not compatible.  C: Ning-ge, then I am a Funny Nerd Girl. LYN: /laughs/ Let’s stop messing around.

C: Ning-ge, are you controlling the background laugh track yourself? LYN: Of course I’m not controlling it. I have a group of people over here laughing. 

C: Change out the glasses, please. LYN: I can’t talk about fashion with you. Those glasses are very fashionable, I’ll have you know. 

C: I finally caught up to a live stream. Can I hear 寻一个你 (Searching for You)? LYN: Why not? -- 寻一个你 (Searching for You) LYN: Friends, after I sang this song I suddenly thought of a proverb. One four character proverb. Let’s see if you and I have any chemistry. There is a four word proverb in my head right now, after I’ve sung this song. /sigh/ That’s right- “old but still vigorous.”

C: Ning-ge, can you sing 无华 (No Extravagance)? [Legend of Fei OST] LYN: That’s a duet, though. We need two people for that song, I can’t do it by myself. / If you know how to sing it, let’s do it together, then. I’ll sing the male parts and you sing the female parts. Alright? We’ll have an interaction that crosses space/time. 

C: 斷緣訣 (Cutting off Fate). [God of Lost Fantasy OST] LYN: Cutting off Fate?? It’s one of the OSTs that I really like a lot. It’s... one of my hidden gems of my music repertoire. - /starts just humming it/ LYN: /laughs/ Wait- I thought this song had lyrics, but it didn’t. Let me find the lyrics. // Friends- Wait a moment. Let me find the lyrics. LYN: Let’s go. Let’s see if this song is also “old but still vigorous.” -- 斷緣訣 (Cutting off Fate) LYN: /sigh/ I’m getting old. I can’t really sing it anymore. - /continues/ LYN: Nope. I really am old, friends. I can’t sing this anymore, I almost can’t control myself anymore. On top of that, the internet is just slightly lagging. It stuck for a bit there, and the mic had an issue. Of course, it had nothing to do with me singing. It just lagged a little. You all know, right? LYN: Friends, it’s like this- electronics are unreliable. Sometimes there are always going to be some problems. Just now- there was a small problem. XD But it’[s not important. I have a lot of professionalism when it comes to streaming and I was able to recover - by not singing anymore.  C: No, Ning-ge. It’s not that your mic broke but our headphones are broken. LYN: In that single moment in time, all of the people watching my stream had issues with their headphones? All of a sudden. There was... noise interference.

C: Ning-ge, how is the soundproofing in that room? LYN: It’s pretty good. I’ve closed all the doors. 

C: I have noise cancelling headphones. LYN: ...? This friend has said something a little interesting. They have noise cancelling headphones. Are you trying to say that the sound of my stream is “noise”? Is that what you mean? You didn’t hear my voice crack earlier because you have noise cancelling headphones?

LYN: There’s someone who’s been spamming 讲真的 (Tell the Truth) all night. When I see friends like that I have both love and hate for them. Not as extreme as love and hate, but I just have complicated feelings about it. This friend probably has not tried to get to know me after they saw me the first time in 2018. They must have, by some small chance, come across me in 2018 but since then have not taken the opportunity to subscribe to my weibo. Here they are asking for  讲真的. But I can say they truly recognize me, at least.

LYN: Let me see what else I have. Is there anything I’ve never sung in my stream? I really want to sing it.  - [t/n: 凌云寂 (ling yun ji)...] LYN: Let me look around. // Also, for something my vocal cords will allow me to. / Eh? Do I really only have so little tracks? Why do I feel like I should have more? Oh, they’re here. I have it. /starts playing 想像 (Imagine)/ Have you heard this song? It’s been a long time since I last sang it. -- 想像 (Imagine) LYN: Old but still vigorous. Actually all these songs I sang before debut- no, before I did my vocal cord surgery. The key we set them in are very high. When I’m singing them now they take a lot of effort.

-- 一个好年 (A Good Year) LYN: Happy New Year everyone!! LYN: Okay, friends. With this exuberant song, our stream today will come to its end. Here I would like to thank all the friends who accompanied me through this night. If you still haven’t subscribed to my weibo... please do so. I am Modern Brothers Liu Yuning. Okay? Subscribe, please. LYN: I hope that everyone who was here today is happy and I hope that I brought you even the smallest bit of that happiness. If I did, it’s my honor. Of course, I hope you have a relaxing and wonderful night. It was great to have you and I hope you had fun. Thank you for helping me get a trending topic. Goodnight, everyone. Let’s meet in the next stream! Bye bye!

--

+ Side note: Yu Bin (The Untamed) was caught watching LYN’s stream and he made a post about it on weibo asking if Sina could add an invisibility feature, and that he would even pay for it... X’D

[sabbathbloodysabbeth]

Funions & Scooby Snacks

Just a scene that came up in my head I’m shocked I felt motivated to write at all but here’s a apocalyptic steddie au where Steve is nonverbal. I might try to edit it better later who knows

Eddie slams his cross bow down, throwing himself to the floor not moving his watchful eyes from Steve. His hair is greasy, sticking to his forehead and matted together from weeks of no shower. His face was covered in dirt but Steve had already grown used to this look on the other. Steve doesn’t say anything, stays seated with his legs crossed as he slowly chews on the stale gummy Scooby Doo snacks he found at the gas station a couple of miles back. They were probably outdated but they were something.

“I can’t believe you are seriously sitting in front of me right now, eating Scooby doo snacks while I sit here and starve!” Eddie snaps. He gets grumpy when he’s hungry, but they also both know he didn’t like the texture of the gummy’s. He would spend a longer time holding himself back from throwing up then bitching about being hungry.

Steve doesn’t say anything, never does. Just looks over the fire at him as he purposely pulls another gummy from the small back. Letting the crinkling sounds echo through the woods. Before putting a show on as he pops the gummy into his mouth and begins to chew slowly again. A grin forming on his face as he watches Eddie dramatically gasp. Looking even more offended then before.

“How fucking dare you.” Eddie’s voice is loud, not afraid of the horrors in the woods. Both of them incredibly numb to it, knowing what to do if the man eaters came in crowds instead of being separated and by themselves.

Steve shakes his head amused, smile the only thing showing that he was finding this situation hilarious. Holding back soft chuckles as Eddie dramatically crawls around the fire. Grabbing his bow and carrying it with him out of instinct. Dropping it off to the side in reaching distance as he gets into Steve’s personal space.

Eddie still held a grumpy look on his face, possibly for a few seconds before a grin takes it’s place as he moves forward and tries to steal a gummy. Earning a slap from Steve who glares at him now. Causing Eddie to pout as he flops back down in the dirt dramatically. They both knew that he could catch a squirrel or some small animal for himself easily. Him acting like he was going to die from starvation had become a very common acting skit when they sat alone.

“Oh you have wounded me Stevie! Absolutely wounded me!” His voice is higher pitch, a southern accent poking through as Steve shakes his head amused. Before he moves over to his bag and pulls out a small bag of funions. Throwing them a bit aggressively in Eddie’s face as Eddie pretends to flop around like it hurt worst then what it actually did.

It takes a moment for Eddie to process what Steve gave him, a pause in silence. Before a loud gasp is in the air. “Oh, Stevie I could marry you. You know what-” Steve hears the bag ripping from behind him, the crinkling noise loud and annoying before Eddie is pushing himself off his back and moving forward. Making sure to get Steve’s attention.

“Stevie poo, apple to my pie, the nut to my cheerio, the fruit to my loop, the-“ Steve slaps him in the arm giving him a glare as Eddie laughs manically. Head tossed back as he does. Before he moves crouching into Steve’s space. Holding one of the funions in his hand. A funky looking round ring as he moves taking one of Steve’s hands in his. “Will you marry me puddin?” He teases.

How neither of them weren’t dating yet was beyond Steve’s comprehension. Yet this seemed more fitting for Eddie. He pretends to be offended at the thought of being married to the other before a grin grows on his face as he gives the other his answer with one look. Eddie stumbles over himself as he slides the edible ring on Steve’s finger.

“I do.” Steve says gently, barely above a whisper.

Eddie’s never heard him speak once in the past year and a half they’ve been running around together. A starstruck look on his face as he looks at Steve like he just hung the moon.

Steve’s face is a soft pink as he looks at the other carefully. Eddie grins before he’s tackling Steve, gummies going all over along with the ring on his finger snapping in half in the dirt. Eddie’s on top as his hand carefully caresses Steve’s face. Moving down and gently kissing the other. Both of them wrapped up in their own universe. Pulling away after a moment. Silence taking over them once again before Eddie (like normal) interrupts.

“I don’t think I’m starving anymore Mr.Munson.” He teases as he moves back in for another kiss.

[fr0gb0g]

Stop defending Shane Dawson

If you think about making excuses for this greasy fucking slimeball heres only a small fraction of some of the things Shane Dawson did:

Tw for: Racism, s*lf h*rm, transphobia, p*dophillia, graphic descriptions of violence, animal abuse, antisemitism, abuse, slur usage, ableism, m*lestation, lesbophobia 

-Racism against black people, specifically targeting black women since they’re vunerable targets and he knew his audience would let it slide

-Capitalizing off of this racism by selling shanaynay merch up until a few weeks ago

-Racism against Asians

-Transphobia

-Sexualizing children and minors (creepy puppet show, defending pedophilia, calling a 6 YEAR OLD SEXY, as well as admitting to searching child porn)

-Violently describing how he would kill a black woman in his podcast because she had called out his racism, saying that he would cut out her tongue, slit her throat and make her say violently racist things: 

(watch if you can its disgusting) https://youtu.be/WE9bYIMSSvM 

-Animal abuse (letting a dog lick the insides of his mouth, humped his cat, and told Drew to “just fuck” one of his pets)

-Defends fellow racists (his “documentaries” where it’d be just pity parties for his racist friends)

-Racism against Mexicans (Fruit Lupe character, his E.T parody, calling Mexicans w*tb*cks)

-mocking the disabled 

-The mockery of Trayvon Martin’s death

-Dismissal of lesbophobia (which ties in with the misogyny)

- Antisemitism (one of the skits including him dressing up as H*tler)

-Sold millions of contaminated eyeshadow palettes (what is on record is: piece of glove, hairs and ribbon fibers)

-Lied about being molested (continuously flipping between different stories of not being molested and being molested, which is incredibly insulting)

-The dismissal of Alyssa Violet’s mental and physical abuse from Jake Paul (including him rolling his eyes as she talked)

-Him faking to be in the makeup community long enough so he can profit from his palette even more

-Making fun of those who self harm

-Trying to out other youtubers

And let me just say alot of white, non-trans, non-disabled or others who have not been sexualized or hurt absolutely LOVE to take an “apology” (which is just a video of excuses) and decide to forgive them. That “apology” isn’t for you.

And I apologize in advance for not having something on here, or if I forgot something! This mans list can go for fucking ever and I’ve been adding to it every few minutes. So please ask or message me if I missed something!

[glassweb]

Once upon a time there was a boy and a girl. The boy’s name was Samuel and the girl’s name was Mary. Samuel and Mary were puppets. Over and over again they would do the same little skits, act out the same little stories.

But one day, Samuel blinked. And then Mary. For the first time they could look up at the puppet master with seeing eyes.

They screamed.

The puppet master did not look like them. They were small and wooden. Their faces had been painted on with care, Mary’s little eyelashes were so delicate and Samuel’s grin boyish. The puppet master was not like that. He had small, weasel-like eyes that seemed to bulge out but somehow sank at the same time. Greasy black hair fell down his face, brushing his collar and the poor puppets didn’t doubt that if left there long enough it would leave the fabric slick.

His nose was too large for the rest of his face and his teeth, oh his teeth. They were gray and brown with abuse and a foul stench wafted out of his mouth. What a dreadful man Samuel and Mary were in the possession of.

The puppet master was kind, however. To an extent.

Samuel and Mary’s newfound sentience pushed them to seek a new purpose. They didn’t want to be puppets anymore. The puppet master stuck them in a bucket until their wooden bodies no longer floated.

But he fed them and kept them safe, housed away from all danger. Wasn’t he a good puppet master?

They wanted to be paid for the hard work that they did. The puppet master stuck them in a closet and locked the door. They would be grateful for all he did for them.

But he sewed them clothes and helped them move about. Wasn’t he a great puppet master?

They told him that he would regret his enslavement of them. That there was something greater than him. Something that would avenge them. The puppet master peeled their painted mouths off.

But he polished their surfaces, gave them their faces in the first place. Wasn’t he the best puppet master?

Was he a puppet master?

Was he the puppet master?

I was the puppet master, wasn’t I?

My puppets, my children. Where were they? My pen hit the paper with a low thump. There they were. My dear Samuel and Mary, little faces drawn on the page next to their story.

But what had they meant?

Was there something greater than me?

I blinked.

And I looked up.

There he was, the puppet master. Hands pulling the strings that moved my limbs. The water, the closet, the paint. Upon him I swore my revenge.

Then I was him.

I shook my head, caught a glimpse of my study, but I was back. I was trapped.

I screamed.

Am I the puppet master?

[ajokeformur-ray]

I watched Joker tonight and typed out my thoughts as they occurred to me. Unedited; typos are guaranteed. I did this a few months ago and really enjoyed looking back at my thought process and I wanted to do it again so that I can look back and know that what I feel is real and true in my darkest times.

You're welcome to skip this; it's under a cut for ease of doing so. Warnings for occasional sexual comment lmao. There’s no self shipping in this, I don’t think.

word count: 2, 575.

I’M SOBBING and I’ve only just pressed play.

Heart squeeze Chest much ow

THERE HE IS

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Nooooo baby omg don’t pretend - let yourself hurt if it hurts. Don’t pretend. 

Carnival Carnival Carnivalllllllll 😍😍😍😍😍

I am a Simp for one clown and his name is Carnival

Someone help him, I????

That sign hit Arthur as hard as my love for him did ksksksk

MY EYES BE LEAKIN💔💔💔💔💔

bb nooooo

Oh honey let me kiss those bruises and replace the marks of violence with love, hm? You’re safe with me.

Breathe, my love. Don’t fight the laughter. Let it out, let yourself go. 

Screams into a pillow because????? much sad must kiss

“have you been keeping up with your journal?” LIKE HE HAS TIME

oHHHHH boi’s close to losing his shit

Do it, Artie. Give ‘em hell.

“I think I did” YOU TELL HER!!💖💖💖

I want to be his cigarette. Where’s Satan??? I got a new deal for my blackened soul which he took at half price😂😂😂😂

I’d have my hand between the door and his head so fuckin fast I swear

“I just don’t wanna feel so bad anymore” yep SAME

ohhhh peekaboo🥺🥺🥺

this makes me giggle ksksksk i watch this scene when i feel sad bc it always makes me happy for the time it’s on

he’s so good with kids; he doesn’t have to try and think about what’s funny, he just does it, he’s himself and it works

FUCK OFF LADY CAN’T YOU SEE HE’S STRUGGLING????

give

him

back

his

card

casually wrinkling my nose against tears lmao

ohhh the way he looks up at those stairs from the bottom

i can feel his exhaustion

me too, my love

step step step step

god i wanna get him the fuck outta gotham

and into my arms and a soft, warm blanket

“eat. you need to eat” LITERALLY WHAT I TELL MYSELF EVERY DAY IN HIS VOICE BC OTHERWISE I JUST WOULDNT EAT???? I’m losing so much weight asdfghjk its not enough tho

SUPAH RATS

Did Arthur come up w that joke or was it actually a Murray joke????

HIS VOICE IS SO SOFT IM CRY??🥺🥺🥺🥺

“I WAS PUT HERE TO SPREAD JOY AND LAUGHTER”

YOU DO BABY, YOU DO!!!! EVERY FUCKING DAY!!!!

go deepthroat a cactus randall - youre already a bit of a prick so🙃🙃🙃

“THE GUYS THINNK YOU’RE A FREAK BUT I LIKE YOU”

HOYT. YOU CAN GO SIT ON A CACTUS TOO

FUCK OFF

😡😡😡😡

“WHY WOULD ANYONE STEAL A SIGN”//”WHY DOES ANYONE DO ANYTIHNG?” HOYT YOU’RE SO FUCKING ILLOGICAL HERE IM????? ERIKA DOES NOT (ALSO WILL NOT LMAO IM A STUBBORN BIITCH) COMPUTE

Can arthur fuck me like he pounds the trash/????🥵🥵👀

those dark curls.... that crooked tooth... must kiss.🥺🥺🥺

pennys casual cruelty makes me so fucking angry

foreshadowingggggg ~  *JAZZ HANDS*

ugh the way he dances with that gun im👀🥵🥵🥵

he enjoys the power of it and his breathing gets deeper asdfghjk

clumsy baby omggggg i just COOED 🥺🥺🥺🥺

okay maybe im stupid but i genuinely dont understand this “senior who needs to graduate” skit i’m??? how is being an intro to western civ student funny im???? someone explain???

but also dont bc fuck that guy lmao arthur’s hilarious

true millenial humour (and brit humour lmao we’re dark asf)

THE WAY ARTIE TWIRLS HIS FINGERS AROUND HIS HAIR AND DANCES IN HIS SEAT IM???🥺🥺🥺

wanna curl up on his lap at night when hes writing and go to sleep with a 

blanket around our bodies🥺🥺🥺🥺

when arthur wears a shirt at home you KNOW it’s a daydream

THAT CROOKED TOOTH IM WANT KISS.

WAIT IS IT CALLED STAND UP COMEDY BC YOU STAND UP... AND ITS COMEDY???

23 FUCKING YEARS, PEOPLE... TO REALISE THAT🙄

WHEN CARNIVAL CAME ON SCREEN I NTHE HOSPITAL I MADE A PORNOGRAPHIC NOISE LMAO I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

IF YOURE HAPPY AND YOU KNOW IT, SHOOT MURRAY

WOOPS WRONG LYRICS

😂

“doctor of laughter”🥺🥺🥺🥺

doctor i have a case of the Big Sad can you... do an exam? 😉😏

NO BB DONT BEAT YOUR HEAD UP THERES PRECIOUS CARGO IN THERE

in what world does chucking cold greasy chips in a girls hair being “nice”???

lmao fuck these guys

ohhh honey breathe. dont fight it, my love, just breathe.

my heart’s breaking for you, you sweet thing🥺🥺🥺

i love you so so so so so so so much ugh you’re an actual fucking angel

just breathe darling

i need to get you a cup of tea with honey in it, your throat must be so sore

ohhhh baby im so sorry

i’d take every single punch if i could

i’d die for you

i wish i could protect you

i wish i could look after you

and take all those hits

and kill those guys for you

im so sorry

sobbingggg

YES GOOD MAN THANK YOUUU

KILL THOSE ASSHOLES LMAO DESERVED IT

yeah i have a grey morality... im similar to deadpool in that way tbh

carnival comin’ to kill your insecurities

8 bullets in a 6 chamber???? mm-hm

DONT FORGET YOUR BAG THATS EVIDENCE

AND THE WIG

RUN BABY RUNNNNNNN

GO GO GO GOOOOOOOOOOOO

RUN LIKE THE WIND BULLSEYE

THE SOUND OF HIS FEET SLAPPING THE PAVEMENT IM👀

OOOOOH JOKER’S WAKIN’ UUUUUUP

fuck he’s so hypnotic

the way he runs his hand down his lower stomach asdfghj🥵

must kiss the inner tendons on his wrists and lick the blood off his face 

must kiss

he moves like water

fuck hes so fluid

bathroom scene = the scene in which my heart and vagina clench at the same time

im WANT

T POSEEEEEEEE

“i still owe you for that, dont i?”

PUNCH OUT IS MY FAVOURITE THING E  V  E  R

D O N T S M I LE

UGH I FUCKING HATE being told to smile if i don’t fucking want to so BIG mood

PLEASE SHUSH ME THE WAY YOU JUST SHUSHED PENNY IM???

but also dont lmao bc i’ll think you’re mad at me and i’ll hide in the bedroom for the rest of the day lmao i’m sensitive✨✨✨

i wanna sit on his lap and still his bouncing knees

“thats not funny”

fuck off penny yes it is

I JUST CHOKED ON MY COFFEE IM???

“but i do” god the  P O W E R

ugh that fucking sexist piece of shit comedian can choke “women look at sex like buying a car” 🤢🤮🤢🤢🤮

chauvinistic pigs can die thanks

his lil trip upstage im cry🥺🥺🥺

ohhh baby. just breathe, darling. it’s okay to be scared. dont fight it. just breathe. 

he and i both cover our mouths when we laugh/smile in the exact same way and it makes me feel closer to him

how can they think hes laughing at himself when hes literally gagging????

people only see what they wanna

the Penny imitation is👌👌👌

s m i l e

i remember when i came home from seeing this for the first time, i got home and dropped to my knees to cry in the bathroom. it was such an emotional release and so much love and i played smile to try to make myself smile but i only made myself cry harder lmaooooo ~ 

smile and thats life are my go-to songs if i gotta cheer tf up

danger sign = neither works

he looks so soft after his “date”🥺🥺🥺

“thats life” yeah but murray you dont even leave the studio so how do you know????

ngl arthur’s anger scares me.

anyone so much as raise their voice at me and i’ll cry really bad and i will shut myself away for the rest of the day and quiet anger terrifies me so his banging abt in the kitchen would freak me tf out😲

angry bb😭

he controls his anger so fast though omgggg ~ 

that soft please sends me

idk where it sends me lmao

down below probably

BARE FACED CARNIVAL OMG THIS SCENE IS SO CUTE

I LOVE THE MATCHING COLOURS ON ARTHUR AND BRUCE TOO ???

okay but the implication that arthur always carries a clown nose on him is🥺🥺🥺

hes such a good clown im?????

lmao im enjoying the show more than bruce is skskskk

arthur’s lil chuckle makes me🥺

his HUMMING im??? soft?????

his brows are so strong and dark omggg ~ he’s so beautiful

OKAY i’ll be honest i’ve seen this alfred/bruce scene and the thomas bathroom scene later on and the penny flashback scene a 100 times and i still dont fucking understand what did or didnt happen regarding arthur’s parentage im????

 ive seen interpretations to say he is thomas’ son and some to say he isnt and i still cant decide so? im stupid i guess 🙃

“a clown thing?” the  s a s s

“it’s exit only” yeah so’s my ass🙃

if i was there in the hospital room i woulda turned that tv off as soon as i realised what clip was gonna play

murray’s cruelty is d i s g u s t i n g

lmao hes an asshole

arthurs lil clap from joyyyyy ~ 🥺🥺🥺

did i say murray???

i meant  m u r r a t

🙃🙃🙃

sneaky baby

wayne hall either has super bad security or arthurs v quick on his feet

🤔🤔🤔🤔

he looks so good in red omggg ~ 

f o r e s h a d o w i n g

arthurs smile when hes watching chaplin is how he smiles when we all gush to each other abt him and ourselves!!!

hes so cuuuuuute🥺🥺🥺🥺😭😭😍😍😍🥰🥰🥰

“told me what” 

ohhhh honey🥺🥺 im so sorry. “crazy” is a trigger word for arthur; it made him start laughing in the bathroom with thomas

“touch my son again ill fucking kill you” yeah?? touch my arthur again and i’ll fucking kill you🙃🙃🙃🙃

^^^ that ones a joke do not come at me

the clerk in arkham was nice to arthur - he, gary and sophie are the good gothamites.

none of it was enough to stop his descent into joker, though, and i’d even say it was too late right at the beginning of the film, too... 

his sock puppet thingy “they cut all those” is such a Joker thing to doooo ~ 

the way arthur’s laughing in the hall at arkham turns into sobbing is gut-wrenching omg the poor thing😭

i wanna hug him and protect him and help him to process this in a healthy way

sweetheart, if i could take all of your pain and put it onto me... i so would. i’d do it in a heartbeat.

i wanna get you into a hot shower, make you some food and sit and listen to you. we can either sit in silence or you can talk to me, my love, and you will be heard and understood and loved.

“i had a bad day”

IT’S OKAY I DIDNT NEED MY HEART ANYWAY OMG YOU POOR SWEET INNOCENT THING IM LOVE YOU🥺💔

THAT ENTIRE LATE NIGHT SCENE LAUGH/SOBBING GOT ME -

💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

i just wanna hold you and protect you and help you and love you

I’m so fucking sorry, darling. i wish i could take it all away from you

“i havent been happy one minute of my entire fucking life”

NO ONE SHOULD LOOK THAT ANGELIC AFTER COMMITING MATRICIDE IM????

get

that

fucking

gun

away

from

your

face

boi dont test me ill fucking go feral or - no, tell you what, i’ll point the gun at me and see how you like it

im looking respectfully at the green speckled undies scene....👀👀👀

“coming” 😏😏😏

“my mum died im celebrating” and “i stopped taking my medication” and you STILL stayed in the apartment with Arthur????? dudes those are 🚨🚨🚨 signs

woe betide anyone who underestimates arthur fleck lmaoooo

randalls death scene makes me laugh every time omg i feel so vindictive

get WRECKED

i wanna lick the blood off his face. i really want to

ngl i think i have a blood kink... 

“dont look just go” ME WITH MY ACNE WHEN I SEE IT IN THE MIRROR 😂😂😂😂

JOKERJOKERJOKERJOKER 

ASDFGHJKL

J

O

K

E

R

ERIKA.EXE HAS STOPPED WORKING

JOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERRRRRR

😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 MY BABY MY MAN OMG THERE HE IS IM CRY???????😭🥺😭🥺😭🥺

my mind is literally blank rn im just staring and crying and smiling so hard my face hurts????? im love him so so so so much

sweet thing’s so used to pain he gets HIT BY A CAR AND KEEPS GOING????

I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU

hghhhhhhhhhhhhhh

euirrrrrrgkjbgkfbirsghigrbugr

*incoherent keyboardsmash to portray utter love*

ohhh baby no dont cry. oh honey😭 i wanna sit on your lap and kiss your tears away

“i love dr sally”

you have a WIFE at home

“DO YOU REMEMBER?” THAT WAS YOUR CUE TO APOLOGISE LMAO GET FUCKED MURRAT

he’s so CUTE

omgggg ~ 

my hearts gonna give out its SQUEEZING SO HARD IT HURTS

YOU MOCK THEM, BABY!!! THEY GOT IT COMING

“i wanna get it right” hes so passionate

my comments have deceased in number bc im just too starstruck and in love to even think clearly lmao

jokers all i know rn and this is the most peaceful ive felt in WEEKS

im sobbing

ugh fuck this hurts so BAD

youre speaking the truth, darling. im so so proud of you and i love you so much

“THEY COULDNT CARRY A TUNE TO SAVE THEIR LIVES” LMAO INSIDE JOKESSS

literally sobbing right now ugh what the fuck youre in so much pain and in the middle of a breakdown and no one saw you

ugh baby im so sorry, you deserve so much better

you tried so hard and you were gonna fall no matter what

IN THE WHITE ROOM

“hi” baby they cant hear you but im COOING 🥺🥺🥺🥺

you’re so fucking cute

say the word and ill burn gotham to the fucking ground for you

i wanna sit atop that car and cradle your head in my lap and wipe the blood off your face and help you stand up and be there for you and and and😭😭😭😭😭😭 i love you so so so much. 

i’d be so much worse off without you in my life. you brought a splash of colour which has never dimmed or faded. it never will. 

b l o o d    s m i l e

=

im wearing my inside on the outside now and it still hurts

angel💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

i see you and your pain. i love you.

i see you, angel. 

his genuine laughter is🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

that cute lil “ksksks” he does im🥺🥺🥺

i always laugh with him omg the two of us are laughing together ugh its the closest i will ever get to sharing in his joy

 t h a t ‘s    l i f e

i love the hallway daaaaaaaaaaaaaance ~ 

them hips dont lie😉😉😉

i love you i love you i love you i love you omg the sun’s like a halo ugh i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you im singing along to thats life while i type out how much i love you at 220am lmaooooo ~ 

i   l o v e    y o u

[sofaeatspaint]

episode 4 of neon genesis evangalion-

shinji is...a character. I cant tell if i like him or not like- ARE YOU GONNA PILOT THE DAMN EVA OR NOT YOU GREASY LITTLE FUCK

but his two friends who’s names i’m forgetting are amazing i love them and the scene where the one with glasses is in the field doing his little one-man-skit is my favorite

[aesop1]

clumsy [5]

pirate!chanyeol x reader

a/n: hello everyone! so sorry for the unexpected hiatus. lots of stuff happened with my mentality, but im okay now! i hope you’re all not too upset, because this chapter isn’t too shocking and eventful. thank you for all of your kindness, i love you!

word count: 4.5k

warnings: i think there’s cursing in this?? nothing else

(i do not own the gif)

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6

----------------------------------

"mother?" you let out barely above a whisper, as if afraid the volume of your voice would shatter whatever hallucination your mind had conjured before you. 

"(y/n)?" she mirrored your tone; confusion with just a lilt of shock.

it was upon hearing the faint familiar voice of your childhood that you found yourself standing and colliding into the woman in question. she reeked of rum and salt, but had that same undertone that flooded your senses with memories of when you were younger and playing in the flowers. a blossom of excitement bloomed within your rib cage, a stress akin to awakening on one's birthday, or celebrating a festival, caressing your heart, once plagued with agitation mere minutes ago. your worries seemed to wash away like the waves on the shore, drifting away as far as the eye can see. although strangely foreign, the warmth radiating from the arms of your former matron only served to remind you of happier days.

"your majesty," you heard a voice from the sidelines sputter out, rising from his seat in a frantic manner. turning, you watched as jinyoung bowed his head, hand resting atop his trepidatious heart.

"no need for formalities, young man," your mother reassured, stroking your hair like her prized doll. jinyoung's actions seemed to bring you back to reality, and you found yourself retracting from the comfort of your mother, stumbling into a standing chanyeol's arms behind you. "my flower, what seems to be the issue?"

"you can't be my mother." your eyes darted across her face, trying to pinpoint the flaw that would indicate that what stood before you was merely a mirage. everything seemed so real, though. every curve and every angle, every follicle of hair in it's rightful place. she seemed too good to be true, and you stood wary of whatever figment of your imagination your mind had decided conjured. "my mother is dead."

she blinked at you, bewilderment taking over her prior sense of joy. she seemed to be awaiting for you to reveal this statement as a gag or something of the like, however you stood your ground, retracting further into chanyeol. shaking her head and clearing her throat, she let out a chuckle of disbelief.

"so that's what he told you," she muttered. she tossed her head back to look up at the ceiling, trying to keep her composure. you furrowed your brows at her behavior, chanyeol sensing your distrust towards her and wrapping a protective arm around your shoulders.

he breathed a sigh of relief as you accepted this gesture, even going so far as to cling onto his sleeve. if he really wanted to, which he found himself with the surprising urge to do so, he could bury his face in your hair, shield you from whatever harm may come to you from the woman before you. his confusion equaled your own, conflicted between your blossoming affections towards chanyeol and your reluctance to accept the possible impostor of your mother.

your mother finally looked back down and to you, a smile tugging at the corners her lips.

"yes," you whispered out, clutching onto chanyeol's arm more and keeping your ground whilst remaining eye contact with her. "my mother died in her sleep and her body was transported to the cemetery before I could say goodbye."

"that is far more gruesome than I had expected from your father." her eyes widened as you had elaborated more so on her supposed death, but nonetheless folded her hands in front of her and remained calm. "I know it must be hard to believe me, considering the situation looks pretty tangled, but I assure you that I am not dead and I did not mean to leave you."

"oh yeah?" you scoffed, deciding to play along with the skit. "why did you leave then?"

"I'm an ancient being, ruler of the seas and the oceans," she answered, no hint of annoyance at all towards you. "I cannot deny my duties as such to hide away on an island with my family, no matter how much I desire to do so." your eyebrows quirked up, leaning entirely on chanyeol now; not out of fear, but out of pure exhaustion of the situation. "you must believe me."

"I mustn't do a thing aside from retiring to my quarters," you snapped back, already preparing to turn around until she called out to you once more.

"(y/n)," she said aloud, voice steady and sure. this did nothing to deter you, already patting chanyeol's arm as a sign that you would like to leave. "(y/n), listen to me. to your mother." chanyeol hesitated, looking between the stern glare on your mother and the dead look on you. it was like watching a teenager rebel against their parent. except it was a young adult denying the validity of an ancestor. he was just about to turn around with you, your eyes already facing his chest when your mother captured your attention. "you can't walk properly."

the hustle and bustle of the bar seemed to fade away to you as her words hit. she shouldn't know this. whether she truly is your mother or not, you hadn't seen this person in years. you could've very well learned how to walk in the near score she was absent from your life. it didn't make sense. chanyeol stepped forward, ushering you behind him so he stood between you and this being. you kept telling yourself that the best course of action would be to run off like you had originally planned, but your mouth moved far too quick for your mind.

"how do you know this?" you uttered out, still in shock of what was said. if this was a mere guess on her part, you really solidified her stance with your statement.

"you are my daughter," she explained as if it were the most obvious concept in the world. "my daughter is supposed to rule the waters alongside me. we have no purpose on land." your heart throbbed at her words, and you began racking your brain for any sort of explanation for this. you truly had no purpose on land anymore. why were you so distraught over the implication that you don't belong on the earth? "our duties lie in the water."

"stop," chanyeol demanded, tossing his arms behind him to pull you against his back.

"you are the goddess of the seas," she laughed out, her voice growing closer and closer.

"stop it," chanyeol continued to hold you, trying to ward off the ever approaching ancestor.

"where you topple over on land, you excel in the waters."

"away with you, or so help me–"

"your father and I tried to scare you away from the waters." she was relentless, chanyeol now beginning to back up with you. "we tried to ward you off with tales of ferocious pirates who would kill and enjoy it, yet here you are in the clutches of one of the most infamous ones," she laughed in disbelief. chanyeol turned, wrapping you up in his arms properly and never breaking eye contact with the assailant. "have you touched the water yet?"

you've touched the water. you've touched the water plenty of times from all of your falls and your valiant escape from the infirmary. never before, however. it now had you question your abilities. how you so easily swam when you have never even stepped foot in the ocean.

"what are you getting at, witch?" chanyeol held you closer to him, afraid that she'd actually phase you in some way.

"you swam so easily because you belong in the water. with me."

you were just processing how exhilarating the water had seemed, not really processing your emotions during that time. she was right. she had to be right. everything she was saying was undeniably true.

chanyeol felt his heart throbbing, gripping onto any part of you he could. anger broiled within him, his veins alight with anxiety. he had never been this clingy of anything, let alone anyone. he once tried hitting a seagull with gold coins, all of which are now residing at the bottom of the ocean as he failed every attempt he made. he was near apathetic his whole life, and now here he is clinging onto (y/n) like a child with their toys.

he pursed his lips and gave a low growl, eyes boring holes into your mother's forehead.

"we're leaving," he grumbled, turning around with you, hoping that the loss of eye contact was enough to break you from your stupor.

"sweetheart," your mother called out to you once more. "meet me by the beach at dawn if you want to know more, maybe catch up."

"sehun, jongin, round everyone up," chanyeol announced, stomping out the establishment in a blaze of fury with a gentle hand on your back guiding you away.

why was this happening to you? everything has changed so abruptly, nothing about your life is what you had thought it to be but two suns ago. pushing aside what you've already mulled over, you now had your emotions rather than your situation: your conflicting feelings for chanyeol, and your insatiable desire to have the ocean lap at your feet.

you had blamed your quick affections on your lack of romance growing up, and you're now blaming your mother's affiliation with the ocean on the latter emotion. both reasonable explanations, but for some reason felt too... ambiguous. like there was more than what meets the eye.

you hadn't spared the front desk man a glance as you were too preoccupied with your thoughts, too much so you didn't even realize chanyeol was leading you directly to his room.

he ushered you in and shut the door. somehow, the click of the handle settling in place set you off like a fuse.

"what the hell is going on?" you seethed, dropping your overexerted body atop the stiff inn mattress. "my mother is supposed to be dead, not a damn goddess." you clutched onto the roots of your greasy locks, tugging helplessly to ease the influx of emotions. "she left me, she didn't even tell me she was alive. she could've told me. she didn't. why did she leave me without another word? why did dad support her to the grave? he never told me anything."

"don't blame your father, I'm sure he meant the best for you," chanyeol stood before you, arms crossed over his broad chest. deep down, you knew he meant well, but you were not having it tonight.

"you have no right to speak of my father." you demanded, curling your legs in to turn around and not face him.

"we're not doing this again, no," chanyeol yanked your shoulder around to have you facing him before he held you in place, hand resting on the side of your neck. "now listen to me closely: i did not kill your father. I know everything is against my favor, but I assure you, I had not shot one bullet that night." you stared up helplessly into his eyes. they were large, his usual frown in his brows doing nothing to dim the intensity of his gaze. like a window, you were able to peer through his exterior and read into his inner turmoil. he held nothing but concern for you, no indications of ulterior motives. you knew you could trust him, but you were so distraught at the moment. how could you open up to a near stranger. unaware to you, chanyeol was dealing with his own revelation, his heart near aching as tears began building up and blurring your vision. he had to hold himself back from brushing away the tears before they could fall. chanyeol felt the compulsion to not only hold you in his arms until your worries faded away, but to also dive headfirst off the plank and into the ocean he's devoted his life to, for he's broken one of his top rules in his life. "what have you done to me?"

"p-pardon?" you croaked out, throat beginning to swell with your onslaught of tears. chanyeol's hand slid from your shoulder to your cheek, falling victim to his desires to finally wipe that tear away. the furrow of his brow began to ease away the more he stroked your face with his thumb. it was as if every scrape of his calloused thumb was sparking a new flame beneath your skin like a match against a surface.

"please do not cry." he whispered to you in the stillness of his room. his spine was beginning to stiffen the more he was leant over in this position, but he barely felt the pain beneath the ache he felt from watching your crest fallen expression.

"chanyeol," you let out, eyes naturally sliding shut as you felt chanyeol's breath hit your lips. how you both got so close was beyond your comprehension, but you definitely were not complaining at the reassuring thrumming of your pulse. your hands craved the sodden material of chanyeol's shirt, practically shaking to hold yourself back, yet caught up in your resilience, you didn't even realize your hands had instead begun hovering over his neck, naturally drawing him closer to you.

you gasped as your lips brushed together, the slightest of touches. he was so gentle, just basking in your warmth as his mind became muddled with you and your presence. it was your soft, barely there touch on his jaw that brought him back to reality. he pulled away almost instantly, staring at you in awe that you allowed him to be so close. you were still in shock at what had just happened, face flushed and body light.

"I apologize, I don't know what came over me," he sighed out, hands clutching his obsidian locks to contain himself from going back to you. "you are in a time of tumult, and I am taking advantage of your weariness, I am sincerely sorry, (y/n), you must believe me." as he rambled on, you stood to your feet, hands sliding up to frame his face before dragging him down to your level and pressing your lips together. surprisingly, it was a smooth transition, no clashing of teeth or noses, which you were grateful for as you wanted your first kiss to be memorable in a positive way.

chanyeol was in shock, hands suspended by his sides in surprise as he tried to process the presence of your lips on his. it was the brush of your fingers on his cheekbones that had him sighing onto your lips and giving in, hands floating over to your neck to pull you in deeper. he basked in your affections, never feeling so warm in his life, even on the hottest of summer days. your hands made their way to his curls while his fell to your back, dragging you closer to his frame. his lips were like the softest of fallen petals, his hold on you like the rays of the sun bathing your skin; he felt like happiness. the longer you were in his grasp, the more delusional you felt yourself becoming.

a knock at the door was what disrupted your moment, abruptly bringing you back to reality as you both pulled away and stared at each other. rather than feeling an overbearing sense of regret for kissing a man you only met yesterday, you were instead met with the most fulfilling of emotions your heart could handle. no moment in your life could amount to how overwhelmingly joyful you were right then and there. nothing has ever felt more right than being there with him. a grin was spreading across your face the longer you scanned chanyeol who stared back at you with a dumbfounded expression. you rubbed your thumbs on his cheek like he had done to you, evoking a chuckle out of him as he refused to look away from you.

you both stood there like starstruck lovers, which was exactly what you two were gradually becoming. he was so smitten, he hadn't the slightest idea to how he managed to fall so hard in such a short time. there was no doubt within him when he began formulating a plan on keeping you to himself for the rest of his life.

another knock had chanyeol audibly groaning and rolling his eyes, unwillingly retracting from you and marching over to the door to give the person on the other side a piece of his mind. swinging it open, he spat out a hasty, "yes, can I help you?"

"did I come at a bad time?" yixing had laughed out upon the sight of chanyeol's disheveled locks. "I came because all of the guys left the bar as soon as jongin and sehun told us about your departure. we need our room arrangements for the night as well as our keys." yixing began making his way into the room as he spoke, gesturing here and there in habit until his eyes landed on your frozen form standing in the center of the room. yixing had clicked everything together in the blink of an eye, the cockiest of smirks making itself known. "oh, fuck, I love it when I'm right." he clapped his hands together and laughed, walking over and pulling you into his arms for a friendly hug. "thank you, my dear, I now have something to chastise our dear junmyeon on."

"yixing, release," chanyeol instructed, causing the man to step back and face his captain. "you and baekhyun are bunking with me. junmyeon will be with sehun and (y/n). jongin and kyungsoo will room together, as well as jongdae and minseok." he light-heartedly shoved yixing's shoulder towards the door. "I'm not having any of my crew kill each other tonight, so you and junmyeon will have to delay your conversation for another time of less inconvenience."

"will do, captain," he reached the door and glanced back, biting on his cheek to hold his snickers back. "don't get too loud now, kids." before chanyeol could even consider demolishing yixing, the man had shut the door and ran off to the rest. chanyeol sighed, rubbing his tired eyes as the lengthy day finally began settling in.

"I should get to my room now," you spoke up, about to walk past chanyeol before he grabbed for your arms. you halted in your steps as chanyeol tugged you over to him. you were stood in front of him again, craning your neck back to look at his flustered expression.

"I..." chanyeol was at a loss for words, eyes downcast to the wooden floors. he squeezed your biceps lightly, biting his lip before resting his forehead on your shoulder. "thank you. thank you so much." as the proximity hit you, you rested your cheek on his, soaking in his ambiance before you were to be separated again.

"thank you," you whispered back to him, hands rubbing up and down his arms in a calming manner. you weren't sure what you were thanking him for, nor what he was thanking you for. your first kiss, a sense of serenity during this stressful trial in your life, a bond you'd never thought you could make with someone in such a short time. you just felt incredible gratitude to the man before you.

chanyeol felt himself become putty in your touch, another breathless sigh leaving him. he nudged his nose into your neck, softly inhaling to memorize your scent for the night. so soothing. he could probably sleep standing right there with you in his arms. you, on the other hand, thought otherwise as you feared another crew member coming in, or your spiraling infatuation with the man before you. you cleared your throat, pulling away to face him.

"I really should go."

"of course," chanyeol mumbled out, low voice thundering within his chest, the vibrations tickling your finger tips. "just find junmyeon."

"I will," you responded, hand pushing back his curly locks, taking one last look at him before you turned and left the room with a heavy sigh. once out, the gravity of the situation finally settled. you were in love. you fell in love for the first time in your life.

this had to be what love was. never have you felt so full before, your heart swelling just at the prospect of the man behind that door. his touch lingered on your skin, taunting you to go back and fall into his arms again. oh, how you wanted to return to chanyeol, but you couldn't. you had to refrain yourself somehow, you've already given him your first kiss. who knows what will happen if you're alone with him again.

you shook your head, trying to clear your mind of these sinful, intrusive thoughts before sauntering down the hall to the foyer where the boys resided. kyungsoo and jongin were absent, so you assumed they'd already taken to their room to sleep. you frowned as you began missing your one on one time with kyungsoo, having grown rather close to him. he had to be your closest comrade of everyone in the crew.

"ah, (y/n)." you followed junmyeon's voice to where he and sehun resided, leaning against the wall waiting for you, you assumed. "ready to head over?"

"yes, sorry for the delay," you rushed out, hoping your growing blush wasn't too obvious. you could already tell that you were going to struggle with resting tonight, images of chanyeol's lips against yours plaguing your mind. his fingers brushing against your cheeks, so delicately. you've never been held so softly, never felt so admired. he held you like one of the many flowers of your childhood hosting a butterfly atop their petals. like the dew of the early mornings cascading down a blade of grass.

you winced as memories of your childhood flashed through your head. those exact scenes of flowers and dew drops appeared and disappeared, as well as images of your smiling mother. she loved you so much as a child, get she left you without another word. why didn't she even bother trying to explain to her child why she was leaving her rather than just disappear, leaving your father to make up her own death to give you some closure.

your eyes became bleary with tears, having to wipe them away before the two men in front of you noticed your conflict. as much as you tried to hide your pain, it was ever apparent in your aching heart. maybe you should go to the beach tomorrow for some /actual/ closure. you can't leave here just knowing your mother isn't dead; that she's instead an almighty goddess controlling the waters. you needed answers, and she was the only one who had them.

as you laid down that night, swathed in sheets and wrapped in sehun's arms, you thought it ironic how your life has turned so quickly. all those years, longing for adventure beyond the horizon, over the kilometers of blue trapping you on this little island, you finally got a taste of what you've always wanted. things never turn out the way you want them to, as you've learned so far. it all seemed too surreal to be anything but fiction, but here you lie in a pirates grasp as the blood of a higher being courses through your veins. every time you closed your eyes, recurrent visions of your long forgotten childhood continued to torment your already clustered thoughts.

why couldn't you remember your childhood?

glimpses of your mother and a field of flowers, your mother on your bed scaring you with tales of the seas... that was all.

your eyes shot open, scrambling out of sehun's arms and onto your feet. why were those your only memories of her? the rest were your father. cooking with him, shopping with him, reading with him.

flowers and lore. that was all that consisted of your mother.

you paced the small room, stomach churning as you raked your head for any memory other than those two.

you couldn't.

you yanked at your hair, crouching onto the ground with ragged breaths.

think.

just think.

please.

give me something.

suddenly, you gasped out in agony, a sharp pain invading your pleading thoughts like a needle. your perspiration was near ice on your skin, your body overcome by convulsions. the walls began closing in, a darkness creeping into your vision. without another thought, you stood and evacuated the room. barreling down the hallways like a madman, you probably alerted the all too nice boy at check in, but you couldn't care less as you fell victim to your own turmoil, allowing your legs to carry you wherever they desired.

it just so happened that they took you right to the root of all of your problems.

you stared out to the inky black depths mocking you, the water lapping at the sand just at your feet, but never touching you. you found yourself craving it's embrace, just the faintest of droplets on you, but it was as if the water detested you. oh, how the tables have turned, the waters now perceiving you as Judas, and your fear now dissipated into desperation. desperation for a place to belong, a sense of comfort and familiarity that doesn't immediately betray you the minute your thoughts kicked in. you didn't belong on land, you didn't belong in the waters. you didn't belong anywhere.

"what are you doing?”

you whirled around, heart stuttering at the deep voice you seemed to have forgotten. he rubbed at his face, attempting to mask his fatigue, yet failing. once he reached you, he tossed his free arm around your person and dragged you into his, a secure hand behind your head. he let out a yawn, burying his face into your hair and releasing his tensed muscles.

by miracle, everything seemed to stop. the white noise which drove your head mad cleared away, the crashes of the waves lulling you deeper into chanyeol's warmth.

chanyeol.

the man who took you away and changed your life. for the better, or for the worst, you hadn't the slightest idea. at this very moment, you just felt relief. a word you weren't all too familiar with, but nonetheless calmed your racing heart and rigid breathing.

"you scared me."

you looked up, unaware of how bleary your vision had become. you rubbed away the tears, blinking up at chanyeol in confusion.

"do you not realize how terrifying it was too wake up to thuds outside, your room door wide open, and you being nowhere in sight?"

you giggled, a pathetic smile tugging at your lips before you rested your head on his chest.

"I'm sorry."

"don't be." he stroked your hair softly, taking your less frazzled state as a sign of recovery. "I know you're dealing with a lot. I know only you can get through it, but don't leave me out. I'm here for you, and I'm entirely willing to assist you and heal you on your journey." he pulled away to look you in the eyes. "I know we just met." a grin greeted you as he strayed from your eyes to analyze the rest of your features. "but you have no idea how deeply I've fallen for you."

----------------------

taglist: @serendibidibidis​ @mrinalexo

[baekhyuq]

“I cant remember.” | (M) Baekhyun (Paranormal AU)

Baekhyun x Reader

Genre: Horror, Smut, Gore, Paranormal

Inspired by: Science fiction - Arctic Monkeys

“But the hands of harsh reality’s ungloved, and its on its way back here to swoop you up. Not on my watch I want to stay with you my love, the way some science fiction does.”

Baekhyuns light snores filled the room as you stirred next to him, fidgeting in your sleep. Your eyes fluttered open abruptly. You turned to face Baekhyun who was sound asleep. The thunder of the storm happening outside woke you and you groaned lightly. The vibrations against Baekhyun’s chest woke him, his eyes peering down at you immediately. He stretched, his tattooed chest peaking from out the sheets. “It’s raining.” You said quietly rolling off his chest and into a standing position. “My garden is probably going to be ruined if it lasts all day-“ Baekhyun interrupted me, “That’s the first thing you say to me in the morning?” Baekhyun’s sleepy eyes drift to yours. “But the dirt is going to get washed away by all the water then i’ll have to wait till it dries and replant the-“ Baekhyun grabbed your arms pinning you beneath him. “Will you tell me Goodmorning and stop talking about your garden.” He barked, you pouted “Good morning Byun.” He smiled sweetly before planting a kiss on your cheek. “Hm...What do you have planned for today?” You thought about the question, you didn’t have anything on your planner other than tending to the garden.

“If the rain lets up i’ll work on my garden.” You half grinned, Baekhyun let out a snort. “Your precious flowers. Well darling, cancel your oh so important plans and go to an abandoned building with me?” The look in Baekhyun’s eyes said it all, you had no choice but to give in an hear his victory cheer. You punched his shoulder and sat up, Baekhyun let a goofy grin stretch across his face, “Pack a bag and lets go.”

Baekhyun loaded his bag with things he thinks he would need as in: snacks, a camera, and a flashlight along with a gun for protection, you never know what you can run into. You laughed at his bag that was packed so tightly it barely closed. You packed lightly, opting to pack necessary items such as: water, first aid kit, flashlight, umbrella, batteries, and a charger for your phone. Your bag obviously won in the “necessities category.” Baekhyun whistled as you hopped into his sleek black car. “On the road we go, this will be a long ride do you want to stop anywhere for food?” You responded with a growl of your stomach and Baekhyun snorted at the answer.

Baekhyun stopped at a fast food place after an hour of driving and you both ordered a burger with fries and a drink. He parked in their parking lot, stopping to munch down on his greasy looking food.

You couldn’t help but smile, his hair was off his forehead today, pinned back with one of your cute clips you’d use when you did your makeup. His freckles on his lip stood out when he chewed on his burger, letting out a moan of satisfaction. “Good?” You teased, he turned his attention toward you winking, “Best in town.”

You giggled then took a fry into your mouth, which had been watering at the sight of Baekhyun eating. It felt like you finished your fries in seconds as you soon reached the bottom of them, completing your meal. Baekhyun stretched his foot accidentally hitting the gas and his arms grabbing the back of your head rest. “Do you want me to drive the rest of the way? It’s only a 45 minute drive.” You offered, he seemed a bit sleepy despite it being noon now. Baekhyun smirked, “Your reckless driving will probably get us there in 5 minutes tops.” You scoffed offended by his statement, your driving wasn’t the best but it definitely wasn’t reckless.

“Byun, you know i literally can’t even speed, what makes you think i could be reckless on the road?” Your frown showed on your pretty lips and Baekhyun faked a pout, “It’s fine Y/n, I’ll drive us the rest of the way. Plus I want to show you something.

Your eyes went to his and you gave him that look. That look that said “fine but don’t say I told you so.” The look you’ve given him oh so many times before. His tattoo covered hand gripped the wheel and reversed out the parking space and drove back onto the road.

You couldn’t deny how sexy Baekhyun looked driving with one hand, his left hand resting on the wheel with his other on the gear.

Without knowing, you nodded off to sleep. Your head resting on the cold window of the car, your cheek causing condensation. A jerk of the wheel caused you to jump awake. “Sorry, some dick jumped in front of me.” Baekhyun apologized realizing he woke you.

You were at a red light now, it started to get dark, “The building is up ahead actually, you can see it from here. It’s an airport.” Your eyes widened. An abandoned airport? You and Baekhyun discovered many abandoned places together but they were usually small places in town, but a giant airport is a different story. He parked the car in the parking lot of the airport.

Baekhyun’s hand squeezed your thigh, comforting you. “Hey, it’ll be alright, yeah? You’ve got me to protect you if anybody tries to snatch you up, right?” He smiled, you punched his shoulder letting out a snort, “Right, your wimpy arms are going to protect me.”

“Hey! Don’t underestimate me, I’ve been working out more now ever since Chanyeol has been showing off his arms.” Baekhyun defended himself, showing off his impressively toned arms, you didn’t even realize how built he was till now. “Well I guess you can protect me then. I have no other choice.” You fake sighed. Baekhyun leaned over and pulled you into a kiss, one that involved tongue and a hand on the back of your neck. “You have no other choice than me.” He smirked into the kiss, ending it with a tug of your lip. He left you breathless but even in your state of breathlessness you rolled your eyes kissing his cheek, “In your dreams.”

You and Baekhyun began to explore the airport which-surprisingly-electricity. There were many torn down posters and broken windows, along with a shit ton of graffiti. “Maybe we should’ve brought spray paint.” Baekhyun frowned, coincidentally kicking a can of spray paint.

“Ah!” He picked up the can giving it a shake, “Ya think it’s got any juice?” You joked as he began to write a letter on the wall. You pulled his camera from his bag and took a photo of him tagging the wall. Baekhyun’s fluid movements of his wrist and arm prove he did a lot of graffiti himself, being a tattoo artist he had to of course leave a trademark behind. “Byun body art.” You read from the wall, Baekhyun grinned goofily. “You write something.”

You shook your head, you couldn’t draw or write for shit, your writing was messy and quick proving your skills. “Wow, you fucking suck at this,” Baekhyun laughed at what you wrote, “Baekhyun sucks.” You were in a laughing fit until a sound could be heard from down the hall opposite of both of you.

You froze as did Baekhyun, who looked curiously down the hall, which seemed to be the only fin hallway in the whole airport. You gravitated toward Baekhyun naturally, being scared by the sudden noise. It was continuous, as if it was music, some quiet ominous low pitched hum. It gave you goosebumps but by the looks of Baekhyun he wasn’t phased. “What the hell is that?” You whisper yelled, being too scared to look away from the hall. Baekhyun shushed you quickly, he started to inch toward the hall and you had no choice but to follow.

The light flickered and you swore it got colder, you clung to Baekhyun’s arm, restricting his movements and he cursed for a split second when the lights flickered off, taking out his flashlight from his back pocket. He pointed it down the hall and something flashed from in front of you both, sending you flenching back. Baekhyun held his breath for a second before holding you by his side, in an attempt to comfort you. He didn’t want to take a chance to shout if anybody was here and alert anyone dangerous that we were indeed in the building. You both continued down the hall, Baekhyun’s grip on you strong. A sudden appearance of a very tall figure makes you both stop in your tracks. The figure seems to be a man as it seems to have a tall slender figure and groans deeply as if it’s in agony all of a sudden. The groans get louder and louder and you and Baekhyun seem to get more scared as the second go on.

The figure jerks toward you and you immediately pull Baekhyun’s arm to notify him your bolting out of the hallway. As you reach the end Baekhyun runs into you slightly, and you both trip over one another falling to the ground shouting, Baekhyun picks you up and runs carrying you into a room and shutting the door closing it as fast as his human body could possibly. There are many pounds at the door that’s been locked and you feel like the doors hinges with just fly off. You look around before spotting a closet and pulling Baekhyun into the door and sliding the door closed behind him.

You signal to hold your breath and he does just that. You can hear the door being broken down and the groan of the disfigured man in the room now. The groans silence as he seems to be confused and looks around the room, you can see him through the skits of the sliding door. You cant remember if Baekhyun locked that door or not. You shut your eyes as you make eye contact with the mans. You pull Baekhyun into you and you hope and pray to not make a sound.

You and hear the floor board creek beneath the monster as it trudges toward the closets door. You couldn’t hold your breath anymore so you exhale into Baekhyun’s chest, hoping the monster just gives up its search. And that’s exactly the opposite of what it does. The man rips off the door to the closet and suddenly everything moves in slow motion.

Baekhyun is pulling out his gun and the man is reaching toward your shoulder before he can make contact Baekhyun’s gun fires a shot and it sends the monster flying, buying us enough time to flee out of the room and make a run for the exit of the airport. Coming to a complete stop you realize you’re lost.

“Baekhyun? Where’s the exit?” You frantically look around down different halls and around corners. “I-I don’t know, I can’t remember where we came in.” He racks his brain for his memory but he’s too shook up to think. Baekhyun sees a light down one hall way and he grabs your hand to run toward the light, his legs are a lot longer than yours so naturally your a little slower than him but that doesn’t mean he lets go of your hand for a second. Once you’re both down the hall you realize the monster hadn’t followed you, as if he’d disappeared entirely. “Baekhyun,”

You whispered, he was walking around frantically looking for clues as to where the edit may be, he wasn’t paying attention, “Baekhyun-“

“There has to be an exit.”

“Baekhyun!” You whisper yelled, getting his attention.

“What?” His eyes were wide, his hair messy from running his hand through it many times. “Listen to me, we’re getting out of here no matter what. We just need to be calm and think of a strategy. Okay?” Baekhyun nodded at your speech, he took off his backpack taking out a water bottle and offered you a sip before he took a few gulps himself. After you both figured that running would only drain you, you resorted to speed walking everywhere.

“You know, that thing back there-whatever it was-I feel like I’ve seen it before.” Baekhyun admitted, his hand in yours. Your memory was jogged and you suddenly remember where you’d seen the monster before, you and Baekhyun watched a documentary about a urban legend that would hunt humans and erase their memory, even their most basic needs to make them eventually forget how to breathe and they end up suffocating to their death and the monster will eat the human. But if the human is lucky, and they end up looking into the beasts eyes they will turn into the monster becoming one of them and this is how they breed.

You looked up at him, his eyes were down at the ground, “I’m sorry I got us into this, if I hadn’t have suggested we come here we wouldn’t have been in this situation.”

“Hey don’t apologize, we are in this together we will get out and when we do, you’re getting the best blow job of your life, seeing you be so manly makes me wet.” You whispered into his ear, you felt his arms cover in goosebumps. “Oh?” He responded, you could hear the lump in his throat. “I promise.”

Once you felt like you had finally reached the end of your road you found the exit and excitedly ran to it, but your excitement was cut short by a hand grabbing your shoulder. You yelled for Baekhyun who screamed at whatever got ahold of you to let you go, hearing the low groan proved it was the monster from the main hall.

You were lifted into the air and dragged across the floor, you scraped your knee in the process and tried to pry yourself from the grasp of the very strong monster. Baekhyun pulled out his gun aiming at the man and shot his leg running toward him and kicking his other leg from under him. “Baekhyun! Your bag! Get the rope!” You pried yourself from the loosening grip, you couldn’t let this monster escape again. Baekhyun threw you the rope, you tied the rope to a steady looking pole and grabbed the leg of the beast tying it securely. The monster whaled and got back up on its feet charging at you before being yanked back by the rope. You had your knife clenched in your hand, you brought it just Incase.

“There’s only one way to kill this motherfucker.” You looked the monster straight in its eyes, “You take its fucking eyes.” You yelled lunging at the creature before stabbing its eye prying it from its socket. You got one eye out but the problem was there were 4 eyes. Two in the front two on the side.

You gouged out the front two and tried to manage to get the sides before you were scratched at your side, you held on to its horns and hacked away at the sides you managed to get them free, the eyes dropping to the floor, a bloody mess. The beast let out a final groan before falling to the ground lifeless.

You breathed heavily before standing from the monster, turning toward Baekhyun, who had been standing with his jaw to the ground. “You’re fucking kick ass how did you know to go for the eyes??” He ran to scoop you up in his arms swinging you around. The joy in his eyes made your heart swell with love for him. “Let’s just say, see no evil.” You picked up your bag from the ground and you and baekhyun left the airport, it was now morning. You couldn’t remember being in the place for that long, you couldn’t even remember the reason you were in the airport for that long.

“Hey, Baekhyun. What did we go in there for, and why the hell are we covered in blood?” Your question reached Baekhyun’s ears and his eyes widened. “You don’t remember? You just killed that fucking monster in there, we almost died, remember?” He practically looked at you as if you had two heads. “What are you even talking about? Lets just go home. I need to tend to my garden and take a shower.” You said walking ahead of him toward the car. Baekhyun stood in his tracks, “You don’t remember anything?” He questioned.

You turned your head in a jerking way, a sinister smile playing on your lips, “I cant remember.”

Baekhyun shrugs of your behavior as a joke and you both arrive at the driveway of your house hours later. Your in the passenger seat, hand rubbing Baekhyun’s thigh. “So what about that blow job you promised?” Baekhyun looked over toward your figure. You looked back at him with a sly smile, “That I promised? Hm, let’s see. I think I can grant that wish for you.” You climbed over the console and onto the floor of Baekhyun’s seat. “Shouldn’t we go wash up first, you know we have all this blood and shit on us.” Baekhyun scrunched his eyebrows together.

“Oh no, no, no.” You put your hand in his pants and pulled out his member, “let’s do it right here right now.” Baekhyun shivered at your touch, his eyes lidded. You gave him a few pumps before taking him into your mouth. Baekhyun felt blissful, your warm mouth around his member. You bobbed your hand rhythmically.

Baekhyun’s hand found your hair and he brushed over something hard, he opened his eyes and he looked to see horns sprouting from your head. You let his member out of your mouth with a pop and you looked up. And to Baekhyun’s discovery, you had another pair of eyes. You looked up at Baekhyun, his eyes filled with genuine horror, he let out a blood curdling scream and reached for his gun, aiming it at your head. Your facial expression shifted to worried instantly.

“Baekhyun, what are you doing? I’m your girlfriend, remember?” You begged robotically. Baekhyun clicked the gun his eyes welled with tears, his eyes swollen, before he pulled the trigger delivered his final words

“No, Y/n I cant remember.”

[x-reader-theater]

God Forgot Us (And the Devil Didn't Want Us) {Soulmate AU} [2]

Relationship: Grecian!Rami Malek X Lover!Male!Reader

Summary: When your father told you about the man you would be living with for the foreseeable future, you hated the idea. Living with a man only to be let go? Having sex with him but not being together? It was stupid. But when you meet him, maybe your mind will be changed? 

Warnings: Allusions to sex, maybe some cursing I don’t really remember, and ANGST! This entire series revolves around angst.

Word Count: 4,825

A/N: Hello again. So, I know this is late, like, really late, but I didn’t really have much motivation to finish this, and even now, I don’t really like it. But it’s better than nothing, and the next chapter is going to be so much better. Either tomorrow or the next day something else will be posted, but that’s all I have for now. Edit is done by @geeky-edits again, so go check them out! Thank you so much. Please reblog. It really does help. 

Greece 250 BCE

“[Y/N]!” You hear your father call into your small home. You wipe your hands off on your tan chitton. It was the only one you had, and it was dirty to all Hades, but you loved it. You were comfortable in it. “Come! Come! We are to meet with-” your father cuts himself off as he takes in the sight of you. You were just cooking, so you had oil stains on your chitton, and your hair was in all directions. He walks over and tubs at your cheek, and when he pulls away, you see he has dirt on his fingers. “Why are you so dirty! I have had the meeting in place for months!”

You roll your eyes, and run a greasy hand through your hair. “I don't understand what the big deal is! I am fine living here, and I don't need some other man to take care of me!” You exclaim.

Your father sighs. “It isn't about taking care of you, it's about setting you up for success!” You go to fire back, but he cuts you off before you can. “Go wash up. I bought you a new chitton for today, and I want you to wear it.”

You sigh, but do as he's asked, going to the back and washing yourself off. You try and get your hair to lie down flat, but it keeps moving, so you resign to just leaving it for now. Going back inside, you slip on the perfectly white chitton your father just brought home for you, and fasten the leather cord around your waist, bringing it in to hug your body. You put your nice sandals on, and walk back out to your father, who is rushing around, for what you assume is no reason.

“Father?” you call out, and he jumps, hitting his head on the table he was underneath. “What are you doing?”

“Oh! [Y/N]! You look wonderful!” He exclaims, standing up, holding something in his hand. “I dropped something important.” He holds out his hand and you see a beautiful blue tiled dolphin broach in his hands. He pins it onto your chitton, and you look down at it in wonder. It was beautiful, and it reminded you of the sea.

“Oh father. Thank you,” you say, and your father hugs you.

He pulls away and clears his throat. “Okay, now, we must get going! I wouldn't want to keep him waiting!” He exclaims, and you nod, the smile dropping from your face. You almost forgot about it. You wished you did.

You and your father make your way through town, turning heads as you pass people by. As you stop in front of the biggest house in your little town, your father Pat's you on the back.

“This is where you go alone. Good luck son,” you father says, and you take a deep breath in, letting it out slowly as you try and slow your beating heart.

You step forwards, going to knock, and the doors open for you. You look around, and back at your father, who shoos you to go in. You square your shoulders, and enter. You look and see two women holding the doors open. They close the doors, and rush away, leaving you alone.

You walk towards the open doors, and enter a large sitting room, with gold and silver strewn about the room. You gawk at the opulence and wealth on display, and go to touch a beautiful, exotic golden statue with eight arms.

“You're late,” you hear behind you, and you spin around.

You see in front of you a man, with dark skin, darker than most in Greece, with jet black hair, and eyes that sparkle like the Grecian sea. He was wearing practically nothing, but a simple himation, with a leather belt tied around the middle. Only one shoulder was covered, and the way it was draped left little to the imagination. He's handsome, in an exotic way. He definitely didn't look Greek, though, many people told you that as well.

You bow slightly, looking down at the ground as you say, “I'm sorry.”

You see feet parallel yours, and a hand underneath your chin. Your head lifts up, and your eyes meet the man's. He leans in, and his lips are inches from yours. Your eyes widen, and he smirks.

“You're beautiful. I think I might just take you…” He mumbles against your lips, and your cheeks flame up. You just nod, and the man grins. “What is your name handsome?”

“[Y-Y/N],” you stutter, and his grin softens slightly.

“Well [Y/N], I promise to take real good care of you…” He brushes your lips against each other, and turns away.

“Wh-What's your name!” You call after him, and he stops, and looks over his shoulder.

“Rami,” he says, and turns around, but doesn't move. “Now, you just going to stand there [Y/N], or are you going to join me?”

You nod and will your feet to move you in the direction of Rami.

You walk through the gardens behind Rami's house, and as you pass each flower, you touch it lightly, the silky petals always a beautiful hue against the monotone green. As you continue walking, you watch as the colour pallet changes. Going from red to pink to yellow to blue, you watch as the garden morphs before your eyes. Colours you don't even know the names of, flowers you've never seen, and architecture you didn't know was in fashion was all here, in this one garden. You reach out towards the only monochrome flower in the whole garden, with large white petals, and yellow pollen, when a voice stops you.

“Of course you're drawn to the lillies…”

You turn around quickly, and see Rami there, standing, watching, a small smile tugging on the corners of his lips. You wonder how long he's been standing there.

“I-I'm sorry, I just… I've never seen anything like them before.” You stumble over your words as if you're one of the teenaged girls talking to the man she wants to court. It's embarrassing.

“Well, these flowers are quite beautiful, and they have an interesting history to them as well…” he trails off, looking away. “Ah, well, you don’t want to hear about that…”

“No! Please, uh, continue…” You say, and he looks up at you, surprised that you actually want to get to know him. “I just- it seems like a passion of yours, and I wouldn't want to stop you from expressing that!”

Rami smiles, and holds out a hand for you, which you take, and he pulls you in close, like you're going to dance with him, even though there's no music. “Well, my little Lilly flower, let's go inside and I can tell you more…”

You nod, and he leads you inside.

Using the money Rami gave you, you walk through the market, looking at the more expensive items on display. You buy yourself a flower, a daffodil, and place it behind your ear, the yellow brilliant against your skin, making you glow. You thank the vendor and move on. You walk over to a silk vendor, and get yourself a nice stretch of silk, one that you can fasten into a himation, something you can dye and wear to a fact event. You knew one was coming up, Rami told you about it, it was to come in a few days, and it was to show you off.

You walk over to a jeweler, and look at the beautiful stones that were set into the gold and silver coloured metals. You reach up and touch one, when you feel a tug at your skits. Looking down, you see a little boy standing there, his hands behind his back.

“Are you a prince?” He asks, looking away, embarrassed, and you smile, crouching down to his level.

“Yes I am,” you say, and his face lights up. “And I something for you… what is your name?”

“Alex!” He exclaims, and you laugh.

“Okay little Alex, well, I have something for you,” you say, and you reach up to the flower behind your ear, and pluck it from your head. You place it behind the boy's ear, and he grins even wider, gasping in awe as you do this. You laugh, and he runs off to his mother, who thanks you with her eyes. You wave to her, and stands back up.

You see a man in a very weird garb, yellow, maybe gold, on a light yellow backdrop. You can't see his face, because his back is turned, but he's holding out his hand to someone. Kids, a boy and a girl.

The girl reaches out, and grabs the loaf from his hand like she was possessed by Hermes himself. She and the boy tear into it, and the man just watches, and you watch the man. He goes to turn around, and-

You brace yourself on the jewelry stall, and place a hand on your head, keeping your breathing steady as you try and slow your racing heartbeat.

You shake your head, but quickly realize that is the wrong option, as your mind starts to swim again. You felt like you were underwater, your thoughts muddled by Poseidon's control, like he was lapping water over your mind.

You steady yourself, and grab your things tighter, and start making your way back to Rami's place. You keep looking behind you though. The feeling of being followed never goes away until you go into Rami's house, and enter his arms.

“Hello!” Rami exclaims, extending his arm towards his guests. You were included in those guests, as you were leaning against a wall, waiting for Rami to pick you up, like he said he would. “It is wonderful to see you a here! I have food and drink, so let us party and make Dionysus jealous!”

Everyone cheers, and takes a sip of their wine. You could tell some of them began drinking before the party even started, but you just laugh. You didn't drink, but you didn't mind being around people who did drink.

You feel a hand on your back, and see Rami standing g behind you. He gives you a quick kiss and you smile as he pulls away.

“Are you ready?” He asks and you shrug.

“I don't know if I'll ever be ready for any of this, but I guess so,” you say, and he nods, grabbing your hand.

“I'm sure you will get used to it.”

He pulls you away from your hiding spot, and you mingle for a bit, talking with people. You meet some of Rami's friends, his rich friends, and his previous lovers. All of them talk at length about how wonderful he is. Rami's hand never leaves your back, and sometimes, it moves a little further down.

“I'm going to be right back,” you whisper to Rami, who smiles and kisses your cheek before you leave. You walk over to grab a cup of water, and the hair rises on your neck. You turn around, and see a man in white chitton, with a silver mask on. You frown, looking at him, but you blink, and he's gone, disappearing into the crowd of drunk grecians who are going to get more food and wine.

You frown and shake your head, drinking the rest of your water, before going back to Rami, who puts his arm around your shoulders.

“You, are so handsome!” Rami slurs, and you roll your eyes. “I just want to do so many things to you…” He turns to put his other arm around you, but stumbles.

“Oh! Okay, here we go!” You exclaim, and a few people go to help you, but you stop them. “It's okay. I got him. I'll put him to bed before he gets in more trouble…” you trail off, and everyone nods, going to tell their friends it's time to go home.

You carry his up to your bedroom, and he just groans as you slip him under the blankets. You lean down and kiss his forehead, and he smiles.

“Reshesf, you are wanted by your father,” you hear yourself say. You want to shake your head, you don't know what's happening. The body you are looking at is shirtless in bed, hugging a pillow close. You see a dip in the other side of the bed, and you think to yourself, 'Is that mine?’

The figure shifts, and you see his toned and dark back muscles shift as well. He hugs the pillow closer and burrows further into the pillow. You realize this man is the same from before. The light yellow colour should have given that away to you.

You stumble back, and hiss in pain as you clutch your head, your eyes fogging as you come back to yourself. You look down at Rami, and for a moment, your vision blurs, and you see the man, Reshef, in his place. You shake your head again to clear your thoughts and slide into bed next to Rami. He turns, and hugs you close, and you just lay against his chest, not moving at all.

You fall asleep with the feeling that someone is watching you.

You're back at the market again, looking around for special foods that would make a nice dinner for the two of you. You place a few apples in a bag, pay the vendor, and continue walking. You pass by a few other stalls, just looking, before you turn and go down the street again. As you walk past an alley, you feel something grab your arm, and pull you in.

You go to scream, but a hand is placed over your mouth. You're pushed against a wall of one of the houses, and you drop your basket. You feel your chitton rip against the stone wall, and you feel pain in the back of your head. You blink a few times as your vision blurs, and when it finally focuses, you see a man who you feel like you've seen before.

“Wha-” you start to say, but he cuts you off.

“Shut up! Shut the fuck up!” He whispers to you. You don't say anything, you just look at him, confused. “Now, I want you to listen very carefully. Stay away from Rami. He's mine!”

You feel him grab your shoulders, and slap you into the stone, making you collapse on the ground in a heap. You hear footsteps running away from you, and you slowly get up, grabbing your bag as you limp home.

You place a hand on the back of your head, and when you pull it away, you see dark red blood on your fingers, and coating your hand.

You push through the front door, and people rush to help you. You just glare at them, and they back off. You walk into the living room, where Rami is sitting, and slam the bag onto the table.

Rami jumps, and looks over at you, a grin on his face, but that quickly drops. He takes in the sight of you, your disheveled hair, bloodstained clothes, your knuckles pale as you clench your hands at your sides, and an angry look on your face. He slowly makes his way over to you, and you just glare at him.

“[Y/N]?” He asks quietly, a concerned look written on his face. You sigh, and look away from him. You couldn't look into his eyes as you spoke. It would break you. “What happened?”

“I met someone today,” you say, and Rami takes another step towards you. “He attacked me. Pushed me up against a building. He told me something.” Rami doesn't say anything, and you look up, meeting his eyes. “He said, 'stay away from Rami.’” Rami's face falls completely into one of dismay, and you take a step forwards. “Do you know something?”

Rami nods slowly, and you groan in frustration. “He… he was a lover of mine,” Rami says. You knew Rami had lovers in the past, but this was all too much right now. You felt light headed, and you didn't know if it was from the head wound, or something else. “He fell in love with me. I didn't love him back.” Rami steps closer, and reaches out, and goes to touch you, but you pull away. He just stands there, dropping his hand back to his side. “I have many lovers. That's my entire investment! I sleep with men until they're not needed, and give them jobs that I get portions of. This has to come to an end. I don't know when, or how, but it has to.”

You nod, and Rami reaches out again, but you just put your hands up, and back away. “No. No. I'm… I'm going to go wash up.” Rami just lets you leave.

You look up at the blue sky, and count the number of fluffy clouds you could see. It was like a painting, the way the wisps of clouds were strewn across the sky, it was like someone took a brush, and smeared the clouds. It was warm today as well, and laying underneath the sun was pleasant. It gave you the feeling that someone was wrapped around you, keeping the cold away from you. A small breeze floats past, and you shiver, your skin prickling as the air kisses your skin. It felt like smooth lips brushing against you.

You close your eyes as you hear footsteps approaching you, and you just ignore them. “[Y/N]…” you hear someone say. You open one eye and see Rami standing above you. You close your eyes and again, and turn your face to the sky again. “Please come back inside. The sun will be setting soon…” Rami says, and you don't move. He sighs. “Please [Y/N]. Are you still angry?”

You sit up at that, and fast. Rami, startled, takes a step back. “I didn't know this would be dangerous! I was already hesitant, but now…” You scoff, and Rami crouches down so his eyes are in line with yours. He reaches a hand out, and when he sees you're not going to pull away, he places it on your cheek.

“I won't let anything happen to you,” he says quietly, and you nod, leaning into his hand. “Now, come on. We should get back inside,” he says, and you stand.

“I'm just going to take a few more minutes,” you say, and Rami nods, walking a little ahead of you.

“Don't talk about my mother in bed,” someone says against your chest. Looking down, you see a familiar head of dark hair pressing kisses to your abdomen. It was Reshef, and we was currently going lower and lower down towards your waist. You want to tangle your hands in his hair, the long curls looked soft, like they would be nice to grab. But try as you might, you couldn't move your arms. They were firmly in place as you grip the sheets with your fingers. You laugh as he places a kiss to your hip, and you rotate your hips for more.

You stumble out of the memory, and you feel hot and sweaty all of the sudden. You look down and realize you may need Rami's help with something. You run off after him, leaving the warm sun and the blue sky behind.

Rami sits up in bed as you lick your lips, and kiss his hips. You can still taste him in your mouth. You kiss up his abdomen, and his chest, lazily going to meet his lips. He moans softly as he licks himself out of your mouth. You smile as you run your hands over his shoulders, feeling his muscles shift underneath your fingers as you press your lips again him.

He brings his arms around your waist, and you arch your back inwards, so you're pressed against him. You smile as he does, and you feel your teeth clack together for just a moment, before Rami pulls back, running his hands over your back. You lean down and lick the spit away from his lips. He just smiles, and pulls you down to the bed.

You yelp, and laugh as you lean into his side, resting your head on his chest. He wraps his arms around you, and kisses your hair. You snuggle in closer to him, pressing soft kisses to the smooth planes.

“[Y/N]?” Rami whispers. You look up at him, your head still on his chest. “I… oh gods…”

“What is it Rami?” You ask, your voice laced with sleep and sex, making it deeper. You feel Rami shiver underneath you, and you smile, running your hands up and down his abs.

He puts his fingers underneath you chin, and lifts you up so your lips meet his. He presses your lips to his, and when you try and deepen the kiss, he stops you, resting your lips against his.

He mumbles something against them, and you purse your lips. “I'm sorry?” You ask quietly against his soft lips.

He sighs, and kisses you again. “I love you.” It's barely a whisper, and you can understand how you missed it before, but it left you in shock.

Rami goes to pull away, a rejected look on his face, but you squeeze your eyes shut, grab him by the shoulders, and pull him in, kissing, hard. He returns the kiss with full force, and you pin him against the bed by his shoulders as his hands move up and down your arms as best they can.

You pull away for a moment, and grin down at Rami, who just grins back up at you. “I love you,” you say, and Rami's grin gets wider as you say that. You dive back down to his neck, and start kissing it up and down, mumbling “I love you,” as you move up and down, to his collarbone, up to his ear, and always against his lips.

Rami flips you over, and pins you now, and leans down to your ear. Giving a growl as you moan. “Now let me show you how much I love you.” He moves down to below your waist, and you gasp.

You stare at the Lillies, and smile as you remember your first time in the lush garden. You remember Rami's kind smile, and his passion for these beautiful plants. You had never met someone who could talk at such lengths about them, and still have plenty more to say later. He really had a passion, and you love that about him. You smile to yourself as you think of Rami.

“Don't move.” You freeze as you feel the cold, pointy tip of a knife against your back. The voice is familiar, and you mentally slap yourself for not noticing it sooner. “I know what you're doing,” the man growls in your ear, and you don't move. You can feel yourself shaking, but you will yourself to not move. “You get Rami to love you, and he forgets me. I know how this works,” the man says, and you shake your head, just slightly.

“No, no that’s-” You cut yourself off as you feel the knife sink deeper into your back.

“Yes it is!” he screams. You flinch slightly, but stop. You make sure you don't more a muscle. “You got him to fall in love with you because he wouldn't love me, and you knew you had your chance!” You feel fingernails dig into your shoulder, and glancing down, you see his hand crushing your bare shoulder. “Now, I don't know what you think you'll get out of this, but you need to leave him!”

You nod, over and over, your voice not working, so you hope your head conveys your meaning. You let out a breath as both the finger nails and the knife disappear. You turn around, but he's already gone, with nothing but footsteps in his wake.

“Rami!” You call out into the house, walking through, clutching your heart. You felt a pain you had never felt before, and you didn't know what it was. Still, you trecked on, walking into the living room of the house. You look at the gold, the gems, the beautiful pearls that lined the walls. Everything was perfect, and you didn't want to mess it up. You knew Rami would tell at you if you did.

You sit on the floor, next to the carpet, and just rest there. You didn't have the energy to get up, but you knew you needed to find Rami. “Rami…” you call out again, with no energy left. You would fight to see Rami, and you knew you had to stay away. Your eyes just felt to heavy…

“[Y/N]!” You jolt awake at the feeling of someone jostling your shoulder. You force your eyes open, and look up at Rami, who's staring down at you, worried.

You try and smile, letting out a breath, but you cough. Maybe breathing wasn't so good right now…

“[Y/N], [Y/N] what happened?” He asks, frantic, and you just skae your head.

“You…” You cough. “You said I would be safe…” you force out, and you see Rami's smile drop.

“I-I know, I know, and you will be! I'll keep you safe! I'll-” You cut him off by squeezing his hand.

You see a head of black hair leaning over you, his face obscured by his hair as it falls into his face. You can see him, breathing heavily, his shoulders shaking. “I'm sorry my prince, my love…” you hear yourself say quietly. Your breathing catches in your throat, and Reshef leans into your hand. “I love you…” you whisper.

Reshef lets out a sob, and he moves his head so he's looking at you, and your heart stops in your chest.

“Reshef…” you breath out, looking up at him. That's why he was familiar. He was the man you loved.

“[Y/N]...” Reshef says down to you.

You reach a hand up, and touch his face. Your hand falls, and your vision goes fuzzy. You can hear Reshef calling your name, and when you squint, you swear you see Egypt, not Greece. You see Reshef, with his long wavy hair over you, and you smile, as the darkness fades around your vision, and Reshef leaves you, again.

“[Y/N]? [Y/N]!” Rami yells out, clutching [Y/N]'s body as it goes limp. He screams as his love leaves him alone, and he cries over him.

“Ah, the poison. Always fast acting, always good in a pinch.” Rami looks behind him, and sees Heslef, a previous sutor he didn't think he would see again.

“You,” Rami growls out, setting the body on the ground as the man above him laughs. “You fucking did this!” Rami screams.

Heslef just raises his hands, and smiles. He reaches a hand out, but Rami just bats it away. “My love-”

“Don't fucking call me that!” Rami screams. “I do not love you! You killed the one I love!”

“No!” Heslef screams back. “I killed him so we could be together! So the love you have for me can finally bloom! Just like those fucking flowers you always seemed to love more than me!” Rami doesn't say anything. He just eyes the knife at Heslef's hip. “Once you realize that we belong together…” Heslef takes a step forwards. They were face to face how. Reaching distance. “You will never want to let me go.”

Heslef reaches a hand out, and Rami takes it. Heslef pulls him in, and Rami smiles, as he places a hand on Heslef's hip. Rami leans in, his lips against Heslef's, and he whispers, “You killed the one I love. Now I'm going to join him.”

Rami takes the knife, and stabs himself in the heart. “NO!” Heslef screams, but Rami just smiles at him.

“Fuck you Heslef.” Rami pulls the knife out of himself, and it clatters to the ground, and Rami falls next to it. You looks over at the man he loves, and grabs his hand. “I'll see you soon my love,” Rami says quietly. He squeezes you hand, but lets go when he can't feel his fingers anymore. He feels blood soak into his hair and his Chitton, and pool around his body, as his breath constricts, and the black funnels his vision.

He's not scared. He always thought he would be scared when he died, but Rami wasn't scared. He was next to [Y/N], the love of his life. His hand was in his, and he knew he would be joining him soon. He loves him, and he knows [Y/N] loves him back. He was content with that.

Rami closes his eyes, and he doesn't wake up.

[starscreamloki]

Sticky Sweets

Challenge and prompt: This is a little fic for the halloween challenge of @loki-the-fox. You can read the original post here, and the prompt is: “I hate Halloween.” I brought Loki x Venom for this one.

Summary: Loki is out on the street, trick or treating with his boyfriend, when he is send to the creepy house by his lover to spook for candy. Scary mansions on Halloween... What could possibly go wrong?

Warnings: A little blood and gore, Dark!Loki

Words: 2720

A/N: I had written this fanfic a while ago and wanted to wait for the movie of Venom to come out to put it out there so I could fix some last minute inconsistencies. Turns out that I had written one big inconsistency but if I would take it out, I would lose a great portion of the fic and I did not want that. I’m not going to spoil what it is for those who haven’t seen the movie yet. Also, there aren’t any spoilers for the movie in this fic so it’s safe to read. Lastly I also think (and hope) that I’m the first one to write a Venki fic and therefore I’m going with the word Venki (Venom + Loki) as a matter of name combining. But correct me if I’m wrong on that one...

Read on AO3

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“I hate halloween,” Loki pouted with a sour face.

“Oh, come on, you’re doing fine,” Nik quipped happily and gave the God a friendly nudge with his shoulder.

“Really? That was the fifth one this evening who said my ‘costume’ wasn’t accurate,” Loki answered bitter. “And this isn’t even a costume!” he said through gritted teeth.

“I know honey,” Nik answered him and put himself on his toes so he could peck a kiss on Loki’s cheek. “You and I know that and that is enough for me,” he snickered as Loki only gave him an exasperated look but a little smile tugged at the corner of the God’s lips at the kiss that still tingled pleasantly on his skin.

Loki hadn’t intended to fall in love with this man, a mortal on top of that, but alas, here he was and he wouldn’t want to have it any other way.

“Now you go trick and treat at that mansion over there and I’ll go over to that house.”

“Why do I have to go to that mansion and not you?” Loki asked with a sigh.

“Because I don’t do creepy looking houses that smell of doom,” Nik said cheerfully. “Now go get them and I see you in a bit,” and he slapped Loki playfully on his behind before he bounded off to the other side of the street.

Loki shook his head and sighed. This halloween celebration was still foreign to him but he couldn’t deny the little pangs of joy it brought the God every time someone gave him candy - the need for endorsement he had lacked most of his life filling a weird kind of emptiness in his heart.

Loki pushed open the gate in front of the house, the creaking sound piercing his ears and he gritted his teeth after which he started to walk the path to the mainson.

He had been promised that after they had went from door to door they would go to a party, and at this moment it sounded a lot better to Loki than wading through this unkempt jungle of a garden which he had to pass before reaching the front door.

Loki wanted to knock on the door but as soon as he lifted his hand in the air it slightly swung open to a small crack and Loki raised his eyebrow.

When the door didn’t open further Loki placed his hand on the wood and pushed it open so he could see inside.

Nobody was there and a mischievous grin spread across his face as he entered the mainson.

The interior was old and was in the same state as the garden; not maintained in the slightest through what must have been ages for the cobwebs and dust were everywhere he looked. The God wrinkled his nose in disgust and tentivaly walked through the hall trying to decide whether he should take the staircase that led up to the higher levels, or find the stairs that led to the basement.

Loki shrugged - it didn’t matter - and he started to explore the house.

With every step the floorboards creaked under his weight and the rooms on the upper levels of the residence were devoid of life except for the bugs that scurried away in a corner as soon as Loki drew near. Most of the place was riddled with dust, the furniture worn from the many uses through the ages, and bleached from the amount of sunlight they had seen.

The cabinets and drawers were mostly empty except for the ones in the living room where some crystal glasses were still put on display and some books adorned the shelves. Loki picked up a book, his interest for the letters on paper piqued as always, but the tome crumbled under his touch, the papers lazily drifting to the floor to an unseen breeze of air.

“I hate halloween,” he murmured to himself as if he could shove the blame from the book falling apart on the mortal festivity.

The Trickster moved on through the house and found the staircase to the basement. It was dark outside and even darker in this part of the residence and Loki used his Seidr to create a little ball of light which hovered in the air with him to illuminate his path.

When he pushed the door open Loki was greeted by weird plastic strips hanging from ceiling to floor obscuring his view to what lay beyond, and he pushed past them, taking in the scene that lay before him.

If the house upstairs had looked like it belonged in the middle-ages, then this part of the house looked like it came straight out of the future, not to mention that this was the last Loki expected to be in this maison.

Behind the plastic curtains was a lab of some sorts. Glass separated the lab from the entry to the basement, some weird panels right next to a glass door but most striking of all was that time hadn’t worn it down and the place looked a lot cleaner and better maintained than the rest of the house even though the dust had also settled in on this part of the house.

Loki licked his lips and walked into the lab, the glass door falling shut behind him with a bang and Loki winched. He actually had nearly jumped out of his boots at the unexpected sound but years of training had taught him to cover up that emotion but he could still feel the shot of adrenaline coursing through his veins.

He kept his breathing steady as he moved through the lab, taking in his surroundings and unaware of the dangerous Symbiote that watched his every move.

Venom had escaped his containment the moment the door had closed and he was now clung to a dark corner where the ceiling and walls met, out of reach of the weird light that hovered around the greasy haired man.

Glass cabinets were placed along the walls holding various of glass pots and test-tubes with liquids, their labels and the meaning a mystery to Loki.

In the middle of the room stood a single chair, the kind where they usually strapped someone into to keep one in control. The many brown blood stains gracing the white leather indicating that someone had been experimenting here on another being, the leather straps that were placed around the armrests torn from something that had forced his way off the chair with inhuman strength. Loki couldn’t suppress a shudder at the morbid sight and his to vivid imagination played several horrific scenarios.

The Trickster still remembered the horrors one had put him through, bringing memories of long past to the front of his mind and frightening him a little, but the ever underlying evil streak that harbored itself within the God writhed with pleasure in his being - as long as he wasn’t at the end of tortures he could somewhat appreciate it.

Next to the chair stood a trolley with some shining tools placed on them, the thin layer of dust betraying it hadn’t been used in quite some time.

Venom crawled along the ceiling to have a better look at the man on the floor. The symbiote hadn’t eaten in days after he had killed his previous host, and this human looked like a fine appetizer. Venom’s mouth watered at the thought and drool slipped from it’s maw, falling to the floor behind the chair with a soft sluggish sound that sounded way to loud in the eerie and silent laboratorium.

Loki quickly spun on his heel to see where the sound had come from but he didn’t see anything that indicated someone was there. Still he felt the goosebumps run along his spine, his gut telling him something was amiss and that sixth sense was never wrong. He peered around the lab again but there was nobody in the room yet he couldn’t shake the feeling he was being watched.

Loki used his Seidr to expand the magical green light that hovered with him, making it go higher and illuminating the room some more.

In the corner of the lab he spotted a device that looked like a computer. He wasn’t very familiar with the things but Nik had shown him around the device and Loki had learned quickly.

He punched a couple of keys on the keyboard and the machine flared to live. It was a little bit odd the computer worked for the fact that the mainson didn’t have any electricity as far as Loki had tried, but then again doors opened and fell shut at random so he didn’t question his fortune.

As the screen flared to life a recording of the room started to play, showing a man strapped into the same chair as was behind him and some weird black slug taking hold of the victim. Loki wasn’t sure if it killed the man on the video or did something else but going by the contorted face of the man it looked as if he was in great pains.

Loki grabbed the mouse and clicked on different icons on the computer, opening and closing videos and notes and taking in all the information.

By now Venom had slithered along the ceiling and had came to a rest there where the ceiling and wall adjourned right above the computer. The Symbiote had figured it had waited long enough, this human wasn’t interesting at all and Venom decided to pounce.

The moment Loki spotted the movement he stepped back and called forth his Seidr, creating multiple illusions of himself while he skitted away and took up residence on the other side of the room.

Venom felt a pang of delight as it noticed the many meals that were suddenly in front of it and shifted into a form that somewhat resembled a humanoid. Well, the creature looked more of an enormous black contorted Frost Giant with more teeth sharper than Loki’s daggers and splitting its black face in a macabre grin, not to mention the long and slimy tongue that snaked out between those teeth.

But what struck Loki the most were those white eyes without pupils that were far too large to resemble any form of humanoid and the muscles that rippled underneath its black skin showed that the creature probably had immense strength.

Loki wasn’t sure if he’d rather fight this monstrous being or a Bilgesnipe but as soon as Venom attacked the illusions with vigor, falling through each of them and feeding the creature’s frustration and hunger, Loki was sure he’d rather fought the latter.

“WHERE ARE YOU, TASTY HUMAN?” The Symbiote purred with a raspy voice as it slashed through another one of Loki’s illusions with black claws.

When Loki spoke he made all the illusions speak with him. “If I show you where I am you have to promise me not to eat me,” Loki chuckled, trying to cover up the terror he felt.

“TASTY HUMAN,” Venom purred and its tongue slowly flicked out of its mouth to lick one of the illusions, making it disappear on contact.

Loki shuddered at the sight; he wasn’t one to be freaked out quickly but this just looked unnatural to him. Yet the information he had gotten from the computer might prove useful and Loki decided to up his game.

He whisked his copies away and quickly casted an illusion throughout the entire lab, making it look as if they were out on the streets, the place teaming with life as dressed up people celebrated halloween.

Venom whipped its head around, its seemingly lifeless eyes taking in its surroundings and narrowing into something that Loki could only interpret as glee. With renewed enthusiasm the Symbiote lounged itself into the illusion, trying to eat an unfortunate bypasser only to slam into the wall of the lab that lay behind the trick.

“Now you see,” Loki said without showing himself, an invisibility spell cloaking him, “you can choose to eat me or you can help me to get us both out of here and you can have as many ‘tasty humans’ as you want,” Loki bargained.

If you can’t defeat them than win them over with whatever you can offer.

Venom made a raspy purring sound from deep within its chest that showed the creatures dismay at having hit a wall. It swayed its head left and right trying to determine where the spoken words had come from but it didn’t see Loki.

The Symbiote pondered the Trickster’s words for a couple of moments before shifting into a black goo, gliding over the floor and trying to seek out the God. But Loki was quick to his feet and avoided the creature by silently darting through the room, dodging the Symbiote’s search.

Venom eventually stopped his in vain search and turned to his humanoid form once more. “SNACK. YOU CAN’T HIDE FOREVER,” it hissed.

“Honey,” a voice suddenly echoed through the mansion. “Are you still in here?”

Loki’s eyes widened as he recognized the voice of his mortal lover and Venom whipped its head at him. A wicked grin spread across its maw and under his skin he formed spikes which he then flung across the room.

Loki had to drop all of his illusions to counter the misles the creature threw at him but he couldn’t avoid all of them and some lodged itself painfully in his skin.

In the brief moment Loki was distraught Venom pounced, shifting into his gooey form and wrapping itself around the God.

When the Symbiote tasted the first blood and flesh of Loki it was pleasantly surprised to find this creature wasn’t a mere Human but something far more powerful, and it decided to alter its plan, instead of eating it making him its new host.

As Loki was wrapped in the alien parasite he felt the creature latch on to his skin and being, and the more the Trickster got covered. With a silent scream on the his lips Loki fell to the floor as he felt the parasite fuse with his being, shifting rapidly between his Aesir form and Venoms humanoid form.

When Venom was completely fused with the God it gave Loki his body back and the God breathed hard as he tried to recover from the intrusion. Slowly he pushed himself into a sitting position, placing a hand on his pounding head and he sighed.

“I’m not sure if I’d rather had you’d eaten me,” Loki murmured while hauling himself to his feet.

He could feel Venom stirr within him and his emerald green eyes shifted to black marbled with white veins as the Symbiote spoke to him in his mind. “NOW, LET US PAY THAT BOYFRIEND OF YOURS A VISIT.”

Loki moved to the door of the lab and coaxed by the Symbiote he used his Frost Giant abilities to freeze the glass and shatter it. Tentative he moved up the stairs and through the house until he was in front of Nik - Loki’s eyes carrying a black haze.

“Loki? Are you okay?” he asked and carefully stepped toward his lover.

Loki felt the pangs of hunger and without warning the alien parasite took over Loki’s body, shifting it into its black-skinned humanoid form.

Niks eyes widened at the sight and he screamed. “Loki! This is not funny!” he screeched. “I know you can shapeshift into anything but this is just macabre!”

Venom let out a low rumbling purr from its chest that sounded like a mocking laugh. “SNACK,” it hissed before it opened its maw and attacked him.

Loki could only watch on in horror through the white eyes of Venom as he tore the other man asunder limb by limb, blood spraying the walls and floor, and eating him. The screams of terror the man had howled went through marrow and bone and would forever be etched in Loki’s mind.

Venom felt the Trickster’s turmoil and searched within the God, pulling on his darkest desires until Loki didn’t feel melachonical anymore - until he didn’t feel anything anymore except glee at the gore that lay at his feet.

“MORE” Venom purred and gave Loki his body back.

“I hate Halloween,” Loki said reluctantly with eyes blacker than night.

The End

----

I thrive on coffee

General taglist:  @lusty-loki, @destiel1597,  @laralaufey, @welcome-to-fangirl-hell, @fairlightswiftly, @lokikingofasgardslover713, @daddymarvel, @vesperazylra, @annievvv7, @myclock, @hiddlestoner3095, @vethrvolnir, @occasionallywittyavengers, @wintertink, @jane-labban, @whovianwookie86-captainxev, @blondekel77, @bambamwolf87, @loki-is-the-best-villian, @wegingerangelica, @kcd15

[cuddlysmii7y]

Glasses

“Where is Smii7y anyway?” Craig asked.

“I think he said he was gonna work on some editing upstairs.” Tyler replied

“Oh, so interrupting him for dinner would be bad?” Craig asked.

“Nah I think he’d be fine with it.”

“A'right.”

Craig got out his phone to tell the others food was there while Tyler got out plates.

“Did you really send out a group text for dinner?” Smii7y’s laughing voice carried into the room.

“You got a problem with that?” Craig turned around to face him. “Wait, when did you get glasses?!”

“Oh fuck, I forgot to take them off before coming down.” Smii7y started to go back up the stairs.

“Where do you think you’re going, Smit?” Tyler called after him.

“To put my glasses away?” Smii7y cocked his head.

“No you’re not.”

“What do you-”

“It’s time for dinner, bud.” Anthony smiled as he patted Smii7y’s shoulder, passing him on the stairs.

Smii7y had no choice but to follow. “Okay but really, since when did you get glasses?” Tyler asked in between bites of pizza. “Junior year, I think?” “So last year.” “Ha ha ha you’re hilarious.” Smii7y deadpanned. “You gotta admit, that was kinda funny though.” “….. alright it was. But I’m still mad about it.” Tyler chuckled before leaning over to pinch Smii7y’s cheek. Smii7y smacked away his hand and glared. “Aw come on, you just look too god damn adorable. I just wanna pinch your lil cheeks.” “Woah man, that’s a little too soon, don’t ya think? Take me out on a second date, then we’ll see.” Smii7y grinned. “I didn’t mean those!!” Tyler through up his hands. “Stop twisting my words, you little nerd.” “Hey now, I’m not little. I have one million subs, thank you very much. Do ya research before you come at me.” “Just eat your pizza, Smii7y.” Tyler said as Craig and Anthony tried not to crack up. ~Time Skip~ Anthony slammed the door closed as he came back inside from throwing out the greasy pizza boxes. Smii7y whipped his head around towards the sound, accidentally flinging his glasses clean off his face. Everyone watched as the frames skitted across the wood floors. “Well that wasn’t meant to happen.” Smii7y laughed. “Oh fuck, did they get all scratched up?” Anthony asked, concernedly. “What? Oh nah bro. They fall off a lot.” Smii7y shrugged. “Then why don’t you get them fixed or some shit?” Tyler asked. “Yeah, like mine never just fucking Peter Pan fly off my face.” Craig said. Smii7y laughed. “Well, ya see, since I only wear them when I’m editing or reading, I don’t realllly need them to be fitted.” “Smii7y, they just bibity bopity booped the fuck off your face. You need them fitted.” Tyler said. “What the fuck was that?!” Smii7y laughed. “Oh so Craig can be all Disney but I can’t??” “Neither of you are Disney. His just flowed better.” “None of us are Disney, you fucks. We’re all demonitized.” Anthony joked. “Oh, too close to home, Anthony. Too close to home.” Smii7y clutched at his heart dramatically. “Oh fuck off.” Tyler laughed as he started the movie. ~Time Skip~ “Hot cocoa, anyone?” Tyler brought in two mugs in each hand. “Ya got marshmallows too?” Smii7y sat up. “Duh.” Tyler dropped the bag out from under his arm and onto the tabel. “Hell yes!” Smii7y took a long gulp of his cocoa. “Ah fuck.” Smii7y pulled away from the mug. “You burn your tongue?” Anthony chuckled. “No,” Smii7y turned to face him. “I just can’t see a god damn thing now.” Smii7y said as the fog on his glasses began to fade. “You dork.” Tyler shook his head. “What can I say? Science issa bitch.” “Shut the fuck up, Smii7y.” Tyler said lightheartedly. “Psst, Tyler, look.” Anthony nudged him, getting Tyler’s attention. “What?” Tyler whispered back. Anthony nodded his head towards the couch adjacent to the one they were sitting on. Tyler looked over to see Smii7y’s head resting on Craig’s shoulder, mouth slightly open, his normally well kept hair all over the place, and his glasses cocked to one side almost completely off of one of his ears. “Dumb ass forgot to take off his glasses.” Tyler mused, his voice laced with amusement. “They’re gonna be broke by the morning.” Anthony chuckled. ~Fin~

[joshpup]

Beginners Guide to Memeteen

No one asked for this, but i made it anyways

General Info:

So the memeteen group signed under Pledis which also has Pristin, Nu’est, Orange Caramel and After School (Everyone has issues with Pledis don’t even get us started about them). 

Group name Seventeen with 13 members because 13 members, 3 units and 1 team equals 13 (also originally they had 17 members but this works too). 

They finally debuted on May 26, 2015 after being pushed back for far to long 

debuted with the amazing song Adore U, and so far have had 8 comebacks: Mansae, Pretty U, Very Nice, Boom Boom,  Don’t Want to Cry, Clap, Thanks, Oh My!

They also have an mv for their song Healing, Love Letter, Shining Diamond, Smile Flower, and Q&A (just scoups, woozi and vernon), Change Up (scoups, woozi, and hoshi)

Have 9 amazing albums: 17 Carat, Boys Be, Love & Letter (Repackaged), Going Seventeen, A|1, Teen,Age, Director’s Cut , and You Make My Day (buy the albums tho) 

They made their Japanese debut on May 16, 2018 with Call Call Call! and released an album called We Make You

Units

Hip-Hop Unit:

Scoups (leader), Wonwoo, Mingyu, Vernon

-created the masterpiece that is Check-In

Mansae Hip Hop Ver.

Trauma MV

Vocal Unit:

Woozi (leader), Jeonghan, Joshua, Dk, Seungkwan

-created the masterpiece that is Chocolate

Adore U Acoustic Ver.

Very Nice Acoustic Ver.

Pinwheel MV

Performance Unit:

Hoshi (leader), Jun, The8, Dino

Adore U Perf Ver.

Mansae Perf Ver.

-created the masterpiece that is Highlight rip carats

Lilili Yabbay MV

Seventeen-BSS

Hoshi, DK, Seungkwan

Just Do It

Just Do It Dance Practice

Members

Scoups/Seungcheol {info} aka the dad 

-So he’s the leader of memeteen, #1 dad lets be real, longest trainee in svt, someone please give this boy a puppy he just needs a dog in his life okay. super sweet and caring, best leader ever honestly no one else could handle those other 12 boys. 

-appeard in Nu’est Face MV, After School Blue’s ‘Wonder Boy’ MV, Happy Pledis ‘Love Letter’ MV (pledis boys ver)

Jeonghan {info} aka the mom

-one of his nicknames in angel, but don’t let that fool you, he’s a swindler. Will not hesitate to cheat watch out for this one. sleeps everywhere possible anytime possible. each comeback his hair gets shorter, lets just hope he doesn’t go bald. Exo’s Sehuns worst nightmare.

Joshua/Jisoo {info} aka the church boy

-Instagram

-Oh shua, our beloved meme and church oppa this is a very dead joke now plz dont use it but if you see it thats shua. 1/2 of american line. Seems quiet and normal but the longer you know him the weirder you realise he truely is. Has a weird obsession with aliens (1,2) Stan talent, stan pindropping shua. huge anime lover. He has also had pink and purple hair and every carat cried 

-beautifully covered Overcome  with Nu’est’s Minhyun

-The jokes that never die: Drink water, not Alcohol, when in doubt, sings Sunday Morning, and his crappy beautiful rapping

Jun/Junhui {info} aka the real mom of the group

-Crazy for you cover

-1/2 of china line. Best eye rolls the world will ever know. people call him greasy, hes not reall but whatever. very sassy. his legendary part in Mansae that makes him look like the McDonalds logo. Also the time he dressed up in an actually carrot costume. 

Films: The Pye-Dog {pt.1 pt.2} (sorry i couldn’t find it in one part), Ip Man: The Legend Is Born, Intouchable (a series)

Hoshi/Soonyoung {info} aka naega hosh

-Okay so choreographs all their dances goals so naturally, best dancer ever. LOUD. Also shinee’s biggest fanboy, if you thought that you were shinees biggest fan ur wrong its Hosh proof: 1, 2, 3. a cute little hamster i die everyday. 10 hours 10 minutes. Black belt in Taekwondo... why dont we ever get to see anything ??

-appered in Nu’est Face MV, and Hello Venus Venus MV

Wonwoo {info} aka rbf master

-was originally a singer, but switched to rapping before debuting, so not only does wonu have an amazing voice but can rap suuuuuper well, and can easily switch between the two its stunning. always calm and usually has an rbf but hes actaully really fun love our emo wonwoo. kinda reminds me of a sloth but i love him even more becasue of that lol

-appered in Nu’est Face MV, and Hello Venus Venus MV

Woozi/Jihoon {info} aka smol fairy devil

-fear him. He may look tiny and soft but he will crush you. Composes almost all of svt’s songs. Super cute and hes coming to except this as time goes on lmao. shortest member. one of the big reasons svt became a self producing group

- first to get a solo in svt called Simple

-appered in Nu’est Face MV, and Hello Venus Venus MV

Dk/Seokmin {info} aka literal sunshine

the sunshine of svt, always smiling. i saw a video of him crying once and my world shattered. LOUD pt2. super funny i love him. one of the most stable vocals in svt. can hit those high notes like nobody else. 

-has this beautiful cover

Mingyu {info} aka gaint germ

-Instagram

-walking puppy? yes actually he is. also a gaint germ (1,2) so get ready. sneezes everywhere then touches everything. can go from cute to sexy with no time in between its insane. If he’s not your bias he’s your bias wrecker. Wild orange hair durning Check In era end everyone made fun of him or loved it no in between.

-Svt’s personal hairstylist  

-appered in Nu’est Face MV, and Hello Venus Venus MV

The8/Minghao {info} aka arthao

-Instagram

-Literally has become the biggest artist in the world what an icon

-other half of chine line. last member to join the group. He did b-boying in china for like 6 years. here is baby hao b-boying at age 12 (he’s the tallest skinny guy and also the leader). crazy good Martial arts skills.  comes off super cute a fluffy and sweet with that voice and all but a serious thug tho like 1, 2, 3 

Seungkwan {info} aka future mc 

-Instagram

Boo Seungkwan our sassy little guy that i love more than life itself. LOUD pt3. gonna star in the next hollywood film because of his flawless acting. Also one of the most stable vocals in svt. hits high notes so easily its not fair (like in pretty u i died). a cutie from jeju. Koreas next best MC watch out world Seungkwan is coming. pretty much helps set the happy fun tone in svt

-covered Beautiful Tomorrow perfectly

Vernon/Hansol {info} aka the living meme

oh vernon. other half of american line. best friends with Seungkwan. literally a walking meme. anything he does is dumb and i love it. example: his weird dance from Boom Boom. lots of Hotline Bling. His iconic: “mom, i won this.” terrible hair durning mansae era 

-was on “Kids Explore Life” when he was little. Also a contestant on ‘JTBC Made in U’ .... headlines headlines ....

-appeared on one of Eric Nams Can’t Help Myself stages and Hello Venus ‘Venus’ MV, Sickness ft. Eunwoo of Pristin

Dino/Chan {info} aka the baby

The baby of the group. Once a baby always a baby. Dino, nugu aegi? tragic hair durning mansae era as well. best glow up of the world let me tell you i called this. Like if you think jungkook of bts had a glow up time to meet Lee Chan because his was more intense and if not faster. Fresh out of High school and living life large lol

-This amazing fancam

-his song Zero (here is the performance) and you can bet i cried when i heard this. He grew up so fast T.T

Other

Active Twitter Fansites

Seventeen’s One Fine Day: Season 1: {1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9}, Season 2  

Best Stages

Girl Group Medley / Relay 

Sorry Sorry cover

Happiness

Tell Me (Immortal Songs)

Boy Group Remix

Bindaetteok Gentleman

My Ears Candy (Jun and Mingyu)

My Ears Candy (Seungkwan and DK)

U

Who (performance unit) oddly enough this song isn’t talked about much, i think it killed every carat cause it killed me

Decalcomanie

and some of my personal faves: Show Me Your Love, Honey + Very Nice (Remix), 2016 Melon awards: Very Nice

Dance Practices/Part Switches

Adore U: Fixed Ver, Follow Ver, Part Switch Ver

Mansae: Hide Ver, Seek Ver, Follow Me Ver, Part Switch Ver

Pretty U: Love Ver, Letter Ver, Dear Carat Ver

Very Nice: Roof Top Ver, Dance Practice Ver, Part Switch Ver

Boom Boom: Front Ver, Review Ver, Santa Ver 

Don’t Wanna Cry: Front Ver, Review Ver, Part Switch Ver

Clap: Practice

Thanks: Choreography Video

Other Video worth mentioning: Highlight (13 Member Ver), No. 1 Cover, Without You

Offical Links:

Offical Website // Youtube // V App // Twitter // Instagram // Weibo // Soundcloud //Facebook

Extra

Seventeen TV

Boys Wish Kindergarten Skit    

Bongbong gyus precious child (a few of the many insta posts: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, also bongbongie has no gender so stan talent)

the famous English Time w/ Svt

the memeteen diaries (ive never laughed so hard tbh)

ISAC aerobics - inspired by Transformers 

ISAC 400m Dash

ISAC warm up dance created by our boys (ft dokyeoms singing)

Seventeen and Monsta x interactions (they’re debut buddies if you don’t die everytime they interact with each other you are doing something wrong)

Seventeen x Nu’est stage Heaven (aka the best crossover the world has yet to see)

so yah stan talent stan my memes Seventeen

[smolkatsuki]

Questions Shouldn’t Be Answered

My mom showed me a Jimmy Kimmel skit and I cried just thinking about Victor and Yuri being in it. This was the outcome.

As Victor stopped for the tenth time to snap a photo of a star on the floor with no knowledge of who they are, Yuuri gazed around at the sight of Hollywood before him. Another off season vacation that Victor plans every year since they’ve been married. He glanced at the gold band on his finger and smiled, turning his attention to Victor. The older man beamed at Yuuri, his facial expression dropping in a quick second.

A tap on his shoulder caused him to jump, Yuuri faced the stranger to see a younger woman with a bright smile and a lanyard around his neck with a card on the hook.

“Hi, I’m Kathy. I had a couple questions for you two.”

Victor walked over, wrapping an arm around Yuuri’s waist distinctively before nodding. Yuuri leaned into his touch instantly, looking at her curiously.

“Nice to meet you, I’m Victor.” He responded with ease, “This is my husband, Yuuri.”

“Ah! Perfect. You answered my first question.”

“What’s the second one?” Yuuri asked curiously, she showed her badge with the familiar logo on it.

Kathy looked at both of them, “I’m from Jimmy Kimmel. We’re doing a skit down the way and need volunteers. Would you be willing to be apart of it?”

“What’s it f-”

“-Yes!” Victor cut Yuuri off quickly, not even giving Yuuri a chance to respond.

“Perfect! Come this way!”

Kathy turned around to head down the sidewalk, Victor pulled Yuuri along with a laugh. Yuuri groaned, hoping that this was something small like the one’s Phichit had showed him when they were bored on their days off.

“Vitya, do we really have too?” Yuuri asked from behind him.

“Yuuri! It’s an American thing, let’s do it! I’ve always wanted to be on American TV.”

The younger man peered his eyes at him, “You have been. Many times. You’ve even won an Olympic medal on American TV.”

“But, it’s different!” Victor spoke joyfully, standing in line with a few other couples.

They noticed the set up and a man with a mic in hand, the couples were wearing ear protection to Yuuri’s dismay. Kathy came over to them with a pair of their own.

“Please put these on until told to take them off.”

Yuuri pleaded at Victor with his eyes the best he could but knew he’d lose as soon as Victor took them, handing one pair to Yuuri. He sighed, hoping to get this over and done with. They put the ear protection on, giving a thumbs up to Kathy before she ran over to give the cue to the man.

Victor held Yuuri’s hand tightly, bringing it up to his lips to kiss his knuckles with an apology. He rolled his eyes but leaned into his chest, relaxing into his husband. All day they spent running around, taking pictures, eating greasy food, and checking out all the shops around. It was nice to relax for the time being. Yuuri glanced down the three couples ahead of them at the ones who were already doing the thing they planned.

It didn’t make any sense to Yuuri since all they did was hold up a number on a paper board. Maybe it’s to ask how many times they’ve been to Hollywood? He shut his eyes, letting Victor move his body each time a couple went up. The minutes passed and soon he felt a nudge of his body. Opening his eyes, Yuuri realized the man was waving them over.

Yuuri walked first and Victor followed, standing in front of the cardboard stand with hearts. A mic was held to his mouth and soon he heard the familiar voice. They took their ear protectin off and handed it to a couple people behind the set up.

Jimmy’s voice rang through, “Hi! Thank you for joining us, what’s your names?”

“Yuuri,” Yuuri stated quickly, glancing at Victor.

“I’m Victor!”

“Nice to meet you two, where are you from?” Jimmy asked through the speaker.

The older man grinned by the microphone, “St.Petersburg, Russia.”

“Wow, that’s incredibly far. What are you two doing here?”

“Off season for figure skating, we’re on vacation.”

“Figure skaters! I knew you looked familiar. Well, are you two dating or married?”

Yuuri decided to answer this time, “Married for five years now.”

“Incredible, well, we have a simple question to ask. He’ll give you a board and a marker,” Jimmy started as they were handed the boards with the logo on it and markers. “Make sure your husband can’t see it.”

The man pulled Yuuri on the otherside of the stand, getting no view of Victor at all. They waited for the question, Yuuri hoped no one he knew would be seeing this.

“Alright, now, you don’t have to think too hard about this question. But, how many times a month do you two have sex.”

Heat rose to Yuuri’s cheeks as he stared at the board embarrassed. He was definitely hoping no one would watch this. He can’t fake an answer, Victor will tell the truth. How many times do they have sex a month? They just had sex this morning.

“Looks like Yuuri is quite concentrated as Victor is already answered.” Jimmy stated in a teasing manner.

“C’mon, Yuuri~” Victor’s voice rang from the other side.

Yuuri tried to hide his embarrassment as he realized he couldn’t guess a number and wrote down what he thought would be best. He put the cap on the marker to state he was done and held the board close to him.

“Alright, Victor. Show us first,” Jimmy said, pausing to look at Victor’s board. Yuuri could only pray it was close to his. Victor’s board read in loopy handwriting. “Wow, really?”

Depends on the Month ;)

“Yuuri is quite irresistable.”

“Yuuri,” Jimmy said with a bit of surprise. “Show us your board?”

Yuuri hesistated, turning the board around and hiding his face behind it. Laughter could be heard around him, making him flush more.

Gomen’nasai Mom more than we should

“You guys must be busy!” Jimmy joked, laugher continuing.

He felt Victor’s hand go around his wrist to pull him back to him. The board was put down and he saw Victor’s flustered face, laughing along. Yuuri smiled shyly, shaking his head.

“I appreciate the apology to your mother, no one has ever done that before.”

“I’ll make sure we apologize to her even more since some of that time was spent at their house.” Victor chuckled, kissing Yuuri’s temple while squeezing his arm.

“V-Victor!” Yuuri squeaked out, wide eyed.

Jimmy chuckled, “We do have gifts for you!” The man with the mic handed Yuuri a can of whip cream and Victor a thing of rope. Yuuri blinked, staring at the gifts in shock. As they said goodbye, Yuuri promised to never trust Victor again in making impulse decision again.

[nowhiringfilm]

Media Insperations

Lilo & Stitch - Chris Sanders

Stitch is a major inspiration for Skit in their furry alien design with the shape of his large ears the duplicating of body parts. Besides both share the same kind of feral scrappiness that an animalistic creature that was never taught social manners might have. They even have similar backstories, as the original story Skit was originally featured a story that had them crash landing on earth in the middle of nowhere.

Invader Zim (specifically Into the Florpus) - Jhonen Vasquez

Character goals wise Skit has many things in common with Zim. Zim strives for dominance and power but often fails in his conquest for such much to his rage. He’s blindly loyal to his own race even if they do not share the same sentiments towards him. These are things I try to harness with Skit’s character and goals. Also, the non-sequitur humor that the Invader Zim movie excels at is something I’d like to put into my own work.

Wander Over Yonder - Craig McCracken

Wander Over Yonder has fantastic colorful settings and wonderful character design. Even from a basic silhouette, you can easily tell which character is which, and I love how the main characters Wander and Sylvia were designed with the idea of their shapes fitting together. Also when I was writing the character of the diner owner, I couldn't help but picture the diner owner from the episode “The Black Cube” who was the greasy looking man with a Boston accent, which while none of his design aspects are going into the character, the sentiments of the character remains the same.

OK KO - Ian Jones-Quartey

Ok Ko is a wonderful show that makes its inconsistent style a part of its humor, having no qualms with going off-model for a little bit just to sell a joke, and there’s something really fun about that. The character of Fink is probably the closet thing media-wise to Skit that there is. She’s a little rat girl that yells a lot and will fight anyone who looks at her wrong. If I had the ability to get anyone I wanted to voice Skit, it would be her VA, Lara Jill Miller.

Wondla Series - Tony DiTerlizzi

For me, the Wondla Series is one of the best alien sci-fi books there are, with how realistically aliens are integrated into the world. They feel like real creatures with real biology. I especially like the Cærulean species, with how they're built as sophisticated digitigrade creatures.

Princess and the Frog - John Musker

 Princess and the Frog is a beautiful film with a very down to earth tone. This makes it ironic as an example for an alien film, but the idea of being a normalized, casual romp through space is something I’d like to capture with Skit and any stories related to them.

[jancisstuff]

Fashion / Appearance - Jancis Milburga

BODY

Long legs. Short legs. Average legs. Slender thighs. Toned thighs. Thick thighs. Muscular thighs. Skinny arms. Toned arms. Soft arms. Muscular arms. Toned Stomach. Flat stomach. Flabby stomach. Soft stomach.  Six-pack. Beer belly. Lean frame. Beefy/muscular frame. Voluptuous frame. Petite frame( 5 ft 4 or shorter ). Lanky frame. Short nails. Long nails. Manicured nails.Dirty nails. Flat ass. Toned ass. Bubble butt. Thick ass. Thigh brows. Small waist. Thick waist.Narrow hips. Average hips. Wide hips. Big feet. Average feet.Small feet .Soft feet. Slender feet. Calloused hands. Soft hands. Big hands. Average hands. Small hands. Long fingers. Short fingers. Average fingers. Broad shoulder. Narrow shoulder. Underweight. Average weight. Overweight.

HEIGHT

Shorter than 140 cm. 141 cm-150 cm. 151 cm to 160 cm. 161 cm to 170 cm. 171 cm to 180cm. 181 cm to 190 cm. 191 cm to 2m. Taller than 2 m.

SKIN.

Pale. Rosy. Olive. Dark. Tanned. Blotchy. Smooth. Acne. Dry. Greasy. Soft.

EYES.

Small. Large. Average. Grey. Brown. Blue. Green. Gold. Hazel. Doe-eyed. Almond. Close-set. Wide-set. Squinty. Monolid. Heavy eyelids. Upturned. Downturned.

HAIR.

Thin. Thick. Fine. Normal. Greasy. Dry. Soft. Shiny. Curly. Frizzy. Wild. Unruly. Straight. Smooth.Wavy. Floppy. Cropped. Pixie-cut. Shoulder length. Back length. Waist length. Buzz cut. Undercut. Bald. Jaw length. Mohawk. White. Platinum blonde. Golden blonde. Dirty blonde. Blondette. Ombre. Light brown. Mouse brown. Chestnut brown. Chocolate brown. Dark brown.Jet black. Ginger. Auburn. Dyed red. Dyed any “unnatural color”. Thin eyebrows.Average eyebrows. Thick eyebrows

TATTOOS / PIERCINGS.

Full sleeve. Thigh tattoo. Neck tattoo. Chest tattoo. One tattoo. A few here and there (two tattoos). Multiple. No tattoos. Monroe piercing. Nose piercing. Septum. Nipple piercing(s). Genital piercing(s). Industrial piercings. Earlobe piercing(s). Prince Albert piercing. Eyebrow piercing(s). Tongue piercing(s). Lip piercing(s). Tragus piercing. Angelbites. Labret. Stretches out ears. Navel piercing. Inverse navel piercing. Cheek piercing(s). Smiley. Nape piercing(s). No piercing. Branded

COSMETICS.

Eyeliner. Light eyeliner. Heavy eyeliner. Cat eyes. Mascara. Fake eyelashes. Matte lipstick. Regular lipstick. Lipgloss. Red lips. Pink lips. Dark lips. Bronzer. Highlighter. Eyeshadow. Neutral eyeshadow. Smoky eyes. Colorful eyeshadow. Blush. Lipliner. Light contouring. Heavy contouring. Powder. Matte foundation. Shiny foundation. Concealer. Wears make up regularly.Wears it from time to time. Never wears make up.

SCENT.

Floral. Fruity. Perfumes. Aftershave. Cocoa. Moisturizer. Shampoo. Cigarettes. Leather.Sweat.Food. Incense. Marijuana. Cologne. Whiskey. Wine. Fried food. Blood. Clean scents.

CLOTHES.

Jeans. Tight pants. Overknee socks. Tights. Leggings. Yoga pants. Pencil skirt. Tight skirt.Loose skirt. Tight / formfitting dress. Cardigans. Blouse. Button up shirt. Band-T-shirt. Sports t-shirt. Sweatpants. Tank top. Fur. Faux fur. Leather. Designer. High street. Online stores. Thrift. Lingerie.Long skirt. Miniskirt. Maxi dress. Sundress. Tie. Tuxedo. Cocktail dress. Highslit dress / skit. T-shirt. Loose clothing. Tight clothing. Jean shorts.Sweater. Sweater vest. Khaki pants. Suit. hoodie. Harlem pants. Basketball shorts. Boxers. Briefs. Thong. Hotpants.Hipster panties. Bra.Sports bra. Crop top. Corset. Ballerina skirt.Leotard. Polka dot. Stripes. Glitter. Silk. Lace. Leather.Velvet. Chemise. Patterns. Florals. Neon colors. Pastels. Black. Dark colors. Naked.

SHOES.

Sneakers. Slip-ons. Flats. Slippers. Sandals. High heels. Kitten heels. Ankle boots. Combat boots.Knee-high. Platforms. Stripper heels. Barefeet. Loafers. Oxfords. Gladiator shoes.

Thank you @ayikett @meandering-mind  and @weepingknight for including Jancis! Man, she’s weird. o_o// And very average!!!! ((Also no tunic or robes... clothing was very modern, I tried))

Show off your lovely traits:  @autochthonousone @darkknightsbread @carina-debayle @weepingknight @gegenji @arrynthel @gogocatninja @theduplicitousdame @tgreythorne @mischiefandmystics @raynnadrops @zhara-liara-yuni @fancy-hat-cat @elibraddock @ryantiffxiv @fairasmorninglight @its-the-val-pal @notoriousmonsterhunter @korlynn @valanthius-xiv @albinomiqote @rashkah @aeron-volkova @sea-wolf-coast-to-coast @neekaxiv @porcelain-and-blood

[moko-ffxiv]

Fashion/Appearance Stats - T’errin “Is naked again” Mokko

BODY

Long legs. Short legs. Average legs. Slender thighs. Toned thighs. Thick thighs. Muscular thighs. Skinny arms. Toned arms. Soft arms. Muscular arms. Toned Stomach. Flat stomach. Flabby stomach. Soft stomach.  Six-pack. Beer belly. Lean frame. Beefy/muscular frame. Voluptuous frame. Petite frame ( 5 ft 4 or shorter ). Lanky frame. Short nails. Long nails. Manicured nails. Dirty nails. Flat ass. Toned ass. Bubble butt. Thick ass. Thigh brows. Small waist. Thick waist. Narrow hips. Average hips. Wide hips. Big feet. Average feet. Small feet. Soft feet. Slender feet. Calloused hands. Soft hands. Big hands. Average hands. Small hands. Long fingers. Short fingers. Average fingers. Broad shoulder. Narrow shoulder. Underweight. Average weight. Overweight.

HEIGHT ( CLICK HERE TO CONVERT TO FEET )

Shorter than 140 cm. 141 cm-150 cm. 151 cm to 160 cm. 161 cm to 170 cm. 171 cm to 180cm. 181 cm to 190 cm. 191 cm to 2m. Taller than 2 m.

SKIN.

Pale. Rosy. Olive. Dark. Tanned. Blotchy. Smooth. Acne. Dry. Greasy. Soft.

EYES.

Small. Large. Average. Grey. Brown. Blue. Green. Gold. Hazel. Doe-eyed. Almond. Close-set. Wide-set. Squinty. Monolid. Heavy eyelids. Upturned. Downturned.

HAIR.

Thin. Thick. Fine. Normal. Greasy. Dry. Soft. Shiny. Curly. Frizzy. Wild. Unruly. Straight. Smooth. Wavy. Floppy. Cropped. Pixie-cut. Shoulder length. Back length. Waist length. Buzz cut. Undercut. Bald. Jaw length. Mohawk. White. Platinum blonde. Golden blonde. Dirty blonde. Blondette. Ombre. Light brown. Mouse brown. Chestnut brown. Chocolate brown. Dark brown.Jet black. Ginger. Auburn. Dyed red. Dyed any “unnatural color”. Thin eyebrows. Average eyebrows. Thick eyebrows

TATTOOS / PIERCINGS.

Full sleeve. Thigh tattoo. Neck tattoo. Chest tattoo. One tattoo. A few here and there (two tattoos). Multiple. No tattoos. Monroe piercing. Nose piercing. Septum. Nipple piercing(s). Genital piercing(s). Industrial piercings. Earlobe piercing(s). Prince Albert piercing. Eyebrow piercing(s). Tongue piercing(s). Lip piercing(s). Tragus piercing. Angelbites. Labret. Stretches out ears. Navel piercing. Inverse navel piercing. Cheek piercing(s). Smiley. Nape piercing(s). No piercing.

COSMETICS.

Eyeliner. Light eyeliner. Heavy eyeliner. Cat eyes. Mascara. Fake eyelashes. Matte lipstick. Regular lipstick. Lipgloss. Red lips. Pink lips. Dark lips. Bronzer. Highlighter. Eyeshadow. Neutral eyeshadow. Smoky eyes. Colorful eyeshadow. Blush. Lipliner. Light contouring. Heavy contouring. Powder. Matte foundation. Shiny foundation. Concealer. Wears make up regularly. Wears it from time to time. Never wears make up.

SCENT.

Floral. Fruity. Perfumes. Aftershave. Cocoa. Moisturiser. Shampoo. Cigarettes. Leather. Sweat. Food. Incense. Marijuana. Cologne. Whiskey. Wine. Fried food. Blood.

CLOTHES.

Jeans. Tight pants. Overknee socks. Tights. Leggings. Yoga pants. Pencil skirt. Tight skirt. Loose skirt. Tight / formfitting dress. Cardigans. Blouse. Button up shirt. Band-T-shirt. Sports t-shirt. Sweatpants. Tank top. Fur. Faux fur. Leather. Designer. High street. Online stores. Thrift. Lingerie. Long skirt. Miniskirt. Maxi dress. Sundress. Tie. Tuxedo. Cocktail dress. Highslit dress / skit. T-shirt. Loose clothing. Tight clothing. Jean shorts. Sweater. Sweater vest. Khaki pants. Suit. hoodie. Harlem pants. Basketball shorts. Boxers. Briefs. Thong. Hotpants. Hipster panties. Bra. Sports bra. Crop top. Corset. Ballerina skirt. Leotard. Polka dot. Stripes. Glitter. Silk. Lace. Leather(?). Velvet. Chemise. Patterns. Florals. Neon colors. Pastels. Black. Dark colors. Naked.

SHOES.

Sneakers. Slip-ons. Flats. Slippers. Sandals. High heels. Kitten heels. Ankle boots. Combat boots. Knee-high. Platforms. Stripper heels. Barefeet. Loafers. Oxfords. Gladiator shoes.

Bagged by: @tinyqote​ (lizert fashion queen)

Baggering: fuck man i donno. I guess @luli-xiv, @noor-khoury, @mystics-eyes, @thebeauregardbros, @robotprinzess, @lavenderrpurr (who I THINK hasn’t done it?), @linalexandra-ffxiv, @vexredain, and i can’t think of anyone else murder me slowly