#'call me' - pyrrha dve

[scalierpepper]

"Pyrrha crossed over to the truck, to Nona, and leant heavily into the interior; Nona could see that she was sweating, in exactly the same way she had sweated after the bottle of bleach. She mumbled 'You knew this was happening. You knew this was happening months ago,' and when Nona put her hand on Pyrrha's, it was like Pyrrha hadn't even noticed her."

[civetside]

the doodles i doodled while i listened to the nona audio book babay! (plus my favorite pyrrha dve quotes)

[sbeana]

got a new art style bitchhesss heres pyrrha

[wrishwrosh]

nona and co playing safehouse

[dve]

we might not agree on everything in fandom but can we all at least agree we’re so horny for pyrrha dve

[woundworship]

took the "what does pyrrha call you?" quiz and got kiddie... giggling and kicking my feet

go take it

[asthedeathoflight]

I think its very funny to have had a few fandom posts that got Big but it still happens infrequently enough that i think of all my popular posts as like. Individual incidents. And whenever one of them starts getting notes again im like damn. People are really feeling the lesbianism post rn.

[tanoraqui]

you’ve heard of Her Divine Highness Gideon the First, First Daughter of the House of God, and all the compelling, often Fake Dating-laced AUs that might follow. But have you considered...Gideon Jr. Dve, favored daughter of the First, heir of Gideon the First, Saint of Duty?

the timeline diverges at 2 points:

Gideon (ours) inherits her mother’s perfectly normal dark brown eyes

Gideon (lyctor) follows the escape pod to Ninth House, arrives to find Wake’s corpse and living baby, to the bemusement of all the locals is like, “yes, that’s mine” and takes said baby back to the Mithraeum to confess his sins and beg forgiveness

the conversation that follows goes like this:

Gideon 1: I am so sorry, John, I don’t know what came over me, Wake was just...really hot. She’s dead now. But, um, this is our daughter, and I feel duty-bound to raise her, or at least see that she’s raised well - but it’s your call, of course (again, I’m sorry for sleeping with the enemy for over a decade)

JohnGod, vibrating at a frequency known only to necromantic immortals who maybe swallowed a sun or something: N I E C E ? !

Augustine, Mercy, and maybe Cytherea, exchanging frantic eye contact behind the other two’s heads: Is that the baby? / I don’t know! I thought you were keeping track of it! / I don’t know! Can’t you tell!? / Are they keeping it? / What the fuck are we going to do about this?!

So, Gideon (Jr.) grows up in the Mithraeum, which needless to say is a fucking weird place to grow up. 

this au is dependent on the assumption that none of these millennia-old necromancers can identify the thanergic/thalergic weirdness of the biological daughter of God on slight, so, just accept that. Maybe children of lyctors (I refuse to believe there haven’t been any before) are a little Like That anyway? The Conspirators do learn the truth pretty fast, DNA test or something, but they quickly decide that stealing the baby and running for the Ninth is a terrible plan, and G1deon and God have to let her out from underfoot eventually. They’ll wait.

the Ninth had already named her Gideon. Gideon 1 tries to change this, but alas, his terrible immortal friends all think it’s hilarious and call her Gideon Jr, or “Junior” or “Giddy” for short.

Cytherea is undoubtably the Cool Aunt, and also Giddy’s first crush

(neither Mercy nor Augustine want to touch children on account of potential stickiness, ruling them firmly out)

JohnGod makes so many Godfather jokes in a terrible Italian mobster accent, which Giddy then imitates with equal inability to mimic an accent, which either produces something completely unrecognizable as old-Earth Italian mobster OR somehow loops back around to being a perfect impression of Don Corleone

Pyrrha tries to resist the urge to check in, but fails, particularly around bedtime (usually a private father/daughter tucking-in ritual). Giddy, with the uncomfortable insight for a toddler, quickly grasps that Sunglasses Dad is a different persona than Normal Dad. Sunglasses Dad swears her to utmost secrecy about this, and she keeps the oath...almost entirely

she does let it slip to Normal Dad, who...

listen, G1deon has been concealing his mysterious lapses in awareness from God and his fellow lyctors for centuries; he’s not going to stop now. And he MUST have had suspicions about what caused them; he’s not an idiot. But he would, I think, be a responsible father. 

So when 7yo Gideon Jr. lets slip about her interactions with Sunglasses Dad - which she definitely doesn’t realize is a whole different person; she probably thinks it’s a weird character her dad acts as sometimes, like how Uncle God will play pretend as a mobster, pirate, horse, etc. When Gideon Jr. lets slip, Gideon Sr. sits her down with his daughter, gets her to tell him about Sunglasses Dad, and admits that, uh, yeah, sure, it’s a fun game they play together, and still very secret from everyone else...and if ‘Sunglasses Dad’ ever makes her feel scared, or god forbid hurts her, she should run away and find Uncle God and tell him everything immediately. 

(Because he has suspicions, he must have suspicions, especially at this point...but just in case he’s wrong, he’ll confess to this centuries-old secret rather than let any harm befall his daughter. It’s the only right thing to do.)

Some Actual Plot Maybe, IDK?:

when Gideon Jr. is 13, her father finally agrees to enroll her in the Cohort Academy for Gifted Officers-To-Be, or whatever its called. Gideon Sr. has a quiet word with the current head of Second House and Gideon Jr. enrolls incognito, and rolls up to this place with

- sword skills trained since birth with fucking lyctors

- an uncanny ability to survive should-be-deadly wounds

- the social skills of someone who has never spoken with anyone under the age of several millennia

- probably slightly more respect for, like, the concept of authority/order/duty/not being a smartass 24/7 than the canon Gideon we know and love...BUT she has also literally never suffered a consequence in her life, and...you know how Miles Vorkosigan’s insubordination habits are based partly in that for the first 18 years of his life, his commanding officers, essentially, were 2 of the most competent people on Barrayar? God Himself used to give Gideon horsey rides. Gideon might try, politely, to be impressed by the commander-instructor glaring at her personally, but she is...not.

- gay

[insert a full YA novel’s worth of coming-of-age shenanigans here, absolutely ft. Judith Deuteros and Marta Dyas as soon-friends]

AND THEN ONE DAY, JOD SENDS OUT AN INVITATION to the heir of the Nine Houses inviting them to the First...

now, Gideon does not have a single drop of necromantic ability. She never has. So she wants to be a cavalier so bad...

but even Gideon, sword bimbo that she is, couldn’t grow up with The lyctors and not notice that... Well, no one really talks about their cavaliers, except when Mercy and Augustine fight about them. There is a grieving, sucking wound where every lyctoral cavalier should be.

she still tried so hard to be one. Judith very nearly agreed to have her even over <3Marta<3 (whom they were both madly crushing on). Then Gideon had one of her rare meetings with her father (he’d swing by the Cohort Academy sometimes and they’d get lunch), and told him about it all excitedly, and he flatly forbade it. And then he went over her head and flatly forbade it to the Cohort. 

so there’s something Weird going on there, or at least there’s something being unfairly forbidden to Gideon like birds are forbidden to the indoor cat staring out the window, eagerly lashing its tail. 

so she hatches a Plan:

- 1. Stow away on Judith & Marta’s ship to Dominicus - 2. ??? - 3. Profit!

when she sees Cytherea there, she thinks, Oh shit, I’m busted.

fortunately, she’d waited until everyone else had disembarked and gone inside before she snuck off the ship, so Cytherea doesn’t see her. So now it’s up to Gideon to sneak around, make friends with the heirs of the Houses, and recruit them into helping her not get caught by her aunt! Who she assumes is here specifically to catch her out...or maybe to covertly oversee the trials...? Hey what is up with this place anyway?

(It’s fortunate because as soon as Cytherea sees Gideon, she’s going to change her plan to “kill everyone immediately, except Giddy, whom I take to the Ninth and exsanguinate to open that damn tomb.”)

(Unfortunately, once like 5 people have died, Gideon is likely to honorably reveal herself in order to ask Cytherea for help, because CLEARLY something has gone terribly wrong. This can’t really be part of the trials, right? Uncle God wouldn’t do that.)

[cheyconic]

I really just want Pyrrha Dve to take care of me for a week and call me kiddie is that too much to ask for?

[elfieafterdark]

Pyrrha Dve hasn't ever been a perfect woman, let alone a perfect person. Her mid-twenties weren't exactly spent at her best.

She had a few nasty habits, and a decent enough job to fuel them. Smoking, womanizing, and of course, drinking.

That last one was how she ended up at this hospital, sitting there all uncomfortably in the middle of the night. Fidgeting with her big hands, unable to fully sit still but lacking anything actionable to do.

She had, remarkably, fallen asleep at some point. The nurses kept telling her she could go home, they'd handle it, and she just kept staying.

What was she supposed to do? Leave the kid? Not an option.

It's gotta be morning by now. Caught in this in between place, with all the beeping and the noise. She can't even remember finding the kid, not really.

She just remembered showing up at the hospital with the kid.

She couldn't take it anymore, she finally flagged down a nurse, and asked, "how's the kid doing?" The nurse, who had started her shift at some point recently, judging by the significantly reduced bags under her eyes, was infinitely patient.

Once she knew what Pyrrha was talking about, she happily led her to the infant. Same as before, same as when she found her... Just, more tubes. Tubes and wires connected to the little baby.

"She's a little trooper. Aren't you sweetie?" The nurse asks, and the little baby coos. Pyrrha stared at the infant, at her dark skin, at her little tuft of red hair, at her golden eyes.

"What's with all the hardware?"

"Heart and oxygen monitors," explains the nurse, letting the baby grab one of her fingers as she talks, "We've also got her on TPN, that's total parent nutrition by the way." She added before Pyrrha could ask, "Just making sure that she's okay. God damn though, I can't believe someone would leave her in a box on the side of the road."

"Is that what happened?"

"That's what you told us, yes." The nurse confirmed. The baby gurgled, looking around at this strange world and clearly finding her tiny self utterly perplexed by it.

"Jesus." Pyrrha said. The baby looked her way, then smiled and reached, though she lacked the fine motor skills to properly do so.

Pyrrha offered a finger, and the baby grabbed one. Something happened then, to Pyrrha Dve, something involving her heart, and that heart collapsing in on itself.

"What..." Her words were thick and slow to roll off the tongue, "What happens now?" The nurse grabs a clipboard and starts writing.

"Well, now CPS gets involved. They try and find her parents, though something tells me they won't succeed there."

"bahhh." The baby added, rather unhelpfully for poor Pyrrha's heart.

"And when they can't find her birth parents, she's going to go into foster care." The nurse continued. Pyrrha straightened her posture at that.

"And, if I wanted... I mean, is me... an option?" As if expecting it, the nurse brandished a piece of paper with a phone number and some basic instructions written on it.

"Give them a call, they can get you all the literature. You'll have to be evaluated of course, but, I think she likes you."

Pyrrha looked back at the baby, the baby whose birth parents abandoned her. Left her to literally die. Pyrrha's never been so glad that Mercy convinced her to walk home rather than take a cab, by way of stealing the cab with Augustine and driving off without her.

"Hey kiddo." Pyrrha tried, and found it not unpleasant to say. "Uh, you got a good grip."

"Ahhh." Said the baby.

"Yeah," Pyrrha said, trying not to choke on how fucking precious this little life is, and how close it was to being snuffed out. "Me too."

Pyrrha Dve was going to make some changes, she decided it then and there. She was going to make some calls, she was going to get her act together.

She was gonna be a mom, the best mom she could be. And it all started by nearly tripping over a cardboard box on the side of the highway.

[adolin]

has something from a tlt fic ever become headcanon to you? i ask because i find this happening to me all the damn time with this fandom but not others

OK SO, my tlt headcanons are like schrodinger's cat, they explicitly contradict each other sometimes and all of them exist at the same time in different quantum states of canon. So in that sense I've never read a fic and thought, okay, THIS is my canon from now on.

But I've read so so many fics that burst my third eye wide open and made me consider different perspectives on a character / dynamic, or helped me shape some I already had. A few favourites:

the soul that seeketh him by bittybelle — missing scene pre NtN ft. John and Kiriona. Wherein John Gaius meets his daughter, remembers the women he left behind, and deals poorly with being the male god of a universe in which the divine is essentially feminine.

AO3 user LesbianJesusLovesYou gave me Big Feelings about Gideon's childhood on the Ninth and her relationship with Harrow, Aiglamene, Ortus and Crux

believing in everything (and knowing nothing at all) — A series of childhood memories from the Ninth

when i call, will you come to me? — “My Lady,” Ortus wheezed, shifting uncomfortably. “I only thought you should know… Gideon Nav was flogged before the congregation.”

A few fics set right after NtN that really stayed with me:

never hear the sound of someone calling me home by @corpsesoldier — Kiriona Gaia returns to the House of the Ninth.

One More Son by captainpeggy — After Nona, Pyrrha Dve walks the Ninth.

two old broads split a cigarette by @forjodssake — Aiglamene/Pyrrha. “sometimes the girl you like becomes one person w her soulmate and you have to jack off about it”

Post HtN missing scenes:

Death in its season by @ancientannoyance — John holds Mercymorn's 24 minutes funeral

recognize them by their fruits by @ceruleanvulpine — John and Ianthe emerge out of the River

Other stuff that Stuck With Me

so I open the window to hear sounds of people by @sunderedstar — post NtN flashbacks. John and Alecto are the only two beings on earth, and he starts working on the Resurrection. This is harrowing and I'm absolutely obsessed with the implications in this fic of WHY John removed everyone's memory.

and they were roommates by @herenortherenearnorfar — pre Resurrection Mercy and Cristabel, from their first meeting onwards and it just really burrowed a hole in my brain and grew roots and sprouts and everything. Latin American nun Cristabel it's all I can see now, and YES they met working with climate refugees when M— was a bright eyed idealistic doctor. It also lines up great with the Asian Mercy headcanon that exist in my head (I have a whole elaborate backstory about M— aged 12 proclaiming to her Filipino Catholic family that she's an atheist now). Anyway, it's just a lovely, gorgeous fic. I think about it every day.

John 25:12 by @halfeatenmoon — pre-Resurrection, John and his friends escape the cow fortress to spend Christmas Day at the beach. With beer, salads, pavlova, and the corpses of a million fish killed by nuclear weapons testing. Ft. Southern hemisphere holidays in Mururoa Atol and 100% canon. To me.

Operation: The Most Honorable Man by @cadmean — Augustine has a proposal for the Saint of Duty (Dios Apate. That's the proposal)

lowkey cheating but I can't choose — absolutely anything AO3 user Raxheim has posted has been SOO up my alley. Every time I read one of their fics I feel like I'm enlightened by some never-before-considered detail. And mean ANYTHING, from Harrow Nova to Wake to Cytherea and the Lyctors to the Universe's #1 Sadgirl Gideon

[kabbal]

Tes 5 women's wrongs préférées 💙

Vraiment ce classement a été difficile à organiser donc j'ai abandonné et je vais citer ces cinq dames sans faire de hiérarchie parce qu'elles le méritent

Valeria Garza (Call of Duty)

Fait-on plus women's wrongs que cette femme ? Ses crimes sont innombrables et son kuntenserven irréprochable. La sécurité de l'état mexicain devrait apprécier d'être troublé par elle. Son bisexual bob, son talent de manipulation et sa compréhension aigüe de comment tourner le patriarcat à sa sauce pour mieux dominer les autres en fait une total girlboss et le contraire d'une girl's girl. Cette femme est peut-être attirée par les femmes mais elle n'est pas une alliée. J'adore chaque fibre de son magnifique corps problématique.

De plus, elle a ce petit twist à la Irene Adler où elle bat les héros et s'en tire sans trop de dégâts, prête à repartir pour un tour. Si le monde était parfait elle serait dans tous les call of duty (malheureusement elle n'y est point. Elle a des skins très sexy dans Warzone, cependant, ce que j'accepte comme un compromis pragmatique)

Alicent Hightower (House of the Dragon)

On n'échappe pas au cycle du trauma avec cette délicieuse femme, on le perpétue! à l'infini! Son hypocrisie et son incapacité à comprendre ses propres émotions en font une horrible personne que jamais je n'aimerais côtoyer, mais ses longs cheveux bruns et ses grands yeux pleins de larmes me conduisent à justifier tous ses méfaits. So what si elle a commencé une guerre à cause de paranoia et de slut-shaming probablement induit par le fait qu'elle a fumble l'héritière du trône alors qu'elle avait totalement moyen de l'embrasser passionnément dans leur jeunesse ? God forbid women have hobbies

Aelis (Kaamelott)

Comment ne pas mentionner mon OG women's wrongs, Aelis. Elle tente littéralement de la coercion sexuelle à sa première apparition. Une femme à la morale absolument dans les égouts mais chacune de ses trop rares apparitions me remplit de joie. Astier si tu n'es pas un lâche confirme dans kv3 partie 6 qu'elle a fui la cour pour vivre dans un cottage avec Démétra où elles se menacent de divorce toutes les semaines et se roulent des patins le reste du temps.

Hélène de Sparte (mythologie grecque)

Littéralement mon personnage préféré de toute la mythologie grecque. Elle est tellement fascinante pour moi et à ce jour je n'ai pas encore trouvé de version d'elle en dehors du texte original du cycle troyen qui corresponde à la vision que j'ai d'elle. Elle est tellement ambivalente : à la fois maudite et bénie par sa beauté, avec tellement de relations compliquées avec tout le monde. Ses intentions et son agentivité sont des points d'interrogation permanents. Une ville est tombée pour elle. On a sacrifié des enfants en partant et en retournant de la guerre menée en son nom. Elle-même se traite de chienne quand on lui pose la question. Euripides en a fait sa blorbette et l'a absolue de toute responsabilité dans cette affaire, ce qui est objectivement hilarant.

Pyrrha Dve (The Locked Tomb)

Je suis obsédée par elle depuis que je sais qu'elle a utilisé la possession du corps de son meilleur ami pour avoir une relation avec une terroriste, tout en sachant que ledit meilleur ami était déjà dans une relation avec ladite terroriste. Mais il ne faut pas oublier son implication dans la création d'une société autoritaire et ultramilitarisée aux accents fachistes. Ainsi que le fait qu'elle a au minimum accepté de laisser passer un plan qui impliquait de fracasser un bébé contre un rocher. Quand on voit tout ça, sa relation problématique avec des jeunes gens de 10 000 ans ses cadets passe comme une lettre à la poste. Also, she's a butch

Mention honorable :

Mel Medarda (Arcane)

Elle n'est pas dans la liste des women's wrongs parce que objectivement elle est une personne éthiquement respectable, contrairement à toutes les charmantes femmes citées plus haut. Mais ce que j'aime beaucoup chez elle, justement, c'est qu'elle occupe un rôle qui serait traditionnellement attribué à une women's wrongs (la politicienne, la femme fatale, la mentor du côté obscur) et elle arrive à cependant garder sa morale et ses principes et être un personnage positif. Elle est également sans aucun doute la plus belle femme que j'ai jamais vu de ma vie. Si elle ne revient pas dans la prochaine saison je brûle Netflix.

(sa daronne est totalement une women's wrongs par contre hehehe)

[createacamillahect]

Okay, I just saw your latest ask answer with Palamedes getting the dicking down of his life and now I'm thinking: what about his first time having sex with a cunt in Cam's body and it's his first time being penetrated. What if Pyrrha is real gentle and slow with him where he knows she typically goes harder with Cam. And what if it's just mind-blowingly good for him?

Omg...

Last ask

In retrospect, Pyrrha Dve should not have fucked with Camilla Hect.

It was just so fun, teasing and seeing her adorable brow furrow when she called her and Nona "her girls."

And when Camilla yanked Pyrrha's collar and whispered huskily in her ear, "Do you want to fuck him?" like she was passing a plate of hors d'œuvres, Pyrrha said yes without hesitation.

Which led to Palamedes via Camilla in her lap, still grinding atop her cock, lips swollen and lust hazy eyes evaluating Pyrrha's reaction to his confession that he's never been penetrated before.

Her roguish grin drops. She leans him back on the couch. She wraps his hand around her bicep - his eyes flutter - and she tells him to tap if he wants her to stop and he has trouble speaking. One tap for pause and two for stop, full brakes. Palamedes is about to voice how the taps won't be necessary when Pyrrha begins to slide into him and his mouth opens in a breathless gasp. He taps once and she gives him a second, watching him take ragged breaths as he processes how it feels.

When he nods, she continues, transfixed by the adorable pinch of his brows.

Once she's bottomed out, he sighs. "Fuck, that's good." He nods, "Ready."

Pyrrha goes slow, edging herself with the slow powerful rhythm, and Palamedes keens through Camilla's lips, tightening around her with every thrust.

He hasn't opened his eyes for a few minutes, head tilted back and eyes screwed shut.

Pyrrha reaches one hand down and lazily thumbs his clitoris.

"She never lets me go slow with her. Never makes those pretty expressions for me, but you're easier than her, aren't you?" she coaxes him, and the flush covering his cheeks and chest deepen at the compliment.

He laughs. "I could never resist, she never had to wait long with me."

Pyrrha laughs, kissing his neck. "Me neither."

It only takes a few more minutes before his breath comes in staccato, and Pyrrha puts more weight into her thrusts as she increases the pace of her thumb, and Palamedes cries out as his cunt clamps around Pyrrha.

Pyrrha grunts, emptying herself into Palamedes for his first time.

They're both panting. Pyrrha easing him back down as she kisses him languidly, and before long he is tipping his hips against her for more.

Camilla comes back to her body exhausted and smiles, closing her eyes to bask in Palamedes' afterglow.

"You took care of him," she smiles.

"Yeah," Pyrrha huffs. "He's not easily sated either, you owe me a cigarette."

Camilla grins before flipping Pyrrha on her back, a move Pyrrha helped her perfect on the beach.

She hums. "Neither am I," she says, leaning down to kiss Pyrrha slowly as she begins to grind her hips against Pyrrha. "Make it a pack."

[lady-harrowhark]

🫂 Share a line (or dialogue exchange) that shows the relationship between two characters.

🫂 Share a line (or dialogue exchange) that shows the relationship between two characters.

Pyrrha had gotten done at work earlier than usual and made it here in time for the end of one of your speech therapy sessions. When your therapist asked you to tell her who had just gotten here, it wasn’t necessarily a surprise that you gave an answer. But it was a surprise that your answer was, “Mom.” I have never seen Pyrrha freeze like that. She had just set down her bag and was pulling off her jacket when you stopped her in her tracks. It had slipped halfway down her arms before she got her wits about her to respond. “Yeah,” she said, “It’s good to see you, kiddo.” Her voice was casual as she leaned down to press a kiss to the top of your head, but when she turned to hang her coat up, she was blinking hard. Even when we were kids, it was always just “Pyrrha.” She didn’t even like us calling her Ms. Dve, back when she would chaperone our elementary school field trips. She’d wrinkle her nose and tell us to “save it for the adults who actually deserve some respect.” I avoided calling her anything, a compromise between the obedience and deference towards adults that had been drilled into me by my parents. I’ve never heard you call her anything but Pyrrha, and certainly never “Mom.” Until today.

Send me an emoji from this ask game and I'll respond with a snippet from my upcoming Big Resurrection Event fic :)

[iviarellereads]

Nona the Ninth, Chapter 28

(Curious what I'm doing here? Read this post! For detail on The Locked Tomb coverage and the index, read this one! Like what you see? Send me a Ko-Fi.)

(Slashed Sixth House icon)(1) In which we witness something truly spectacular.

Nona wakes in the back of one of the trucks. The back doors are open, and there are sounds in the darkness that indicate they may be parked in a deep tunnel, which is according to plan. Kiriona is nearby, and they look at each other in silence for some time.

Eventually, Kiriona asks where "she" is. Nona isn't sure how to respond.

“Come on. Where’d she go? Where is she?” “I don’t know who you’re talking about,” said Nona miserably. “Listen, she can be in hell for all I care, I won’t get mad,” said Kiriona. “She can be at the bottom of the sea or at the bottom of space. I just need to know—where.”(2)

When Nona doesn't answer, Kiriona asks instead if Nona loves "her". Pyrrha shows up and tells Kiriona to walk it off. Kiriona says she's kind of busy pretending to be dead, so Pyrrha says she and Nona will take a walk, then, and tells Kiriona to stop being such a little shit. Kiriona protests that it's genetic.

Pyrrha frees Nona from the seat, and Nona finds that her arms and legs feel strange, like how the other kids described the temporary numbness of a pinched nerve, only inducing it had never worked on Nona when they'd tried. Pyrrha carries Nona away from the truck as Nona admits she can't walk.

“Do you remember what happened after you blacked out on top of the car?” asked Pyrrha. “No,” said Nona. “Maybe that’s for the best,” said Pyrrha. Then she opened her mouth and said quietly— “A…” “Don’t,” Nona found herself saying. “Don’t. Don’t call me that or anything like that … don’t make me remember. I don’t want to … You won’t like it. Don’t. Don’t make me do it.”(3)

Pyrrha says Nona shouldn't freak out, and to "Cool it," but Nona feels hotter than ever. She feels something on the back of her neck, but Pyrrha takes her wrist and tells her not to smudge it, it's a ward meant to keep Nona with them a little longer.(4)

Pyrrha's grip on her wrist reminds Nona of all the times Pyrrha's held her there, crossing a road or standing up or dancing to the radio.

 But from some hole in the back of Nona’s cupboard behind a fake plank of wood in Nona’s brain, her voice said roughly: “Don’t touch me.” Pyrrha dropped her wrist, and Nona’s voice went on and on: “Did you think this was fun, Pyrrha Dve? Did you think this was lovely? Family. Blood. Together. Kiss, kiss. A child’s game. You say nice words and everyone pretends they are the words you say. Here is a house. We live in it. Worms slithering over each other … Did you like playing pretend? Did you like being mother and father? You should have given into your desires and eaten us. Chew and swallow. More natural. Would have respected you for it…”(5)

Nona is gripped by embarrassment and repulsed by what her own mouth just said, and weeps for a while, begging Pyrrha to let her die. Pyrrha asks if she feels better when the tears slow, and Nona says yes and asks for a tissue. Pyrrha suggests Nona wouldn't want a tissue that had been in her pockets, but she can ask Cam and Pal soon.

Nona asks if they found the Sixth House, and Pyrrha confirms it. This cheers Nona some, but Pyrrha doesn't seem to think it's entirely good news. She says, by way of asking what Nona would think if she did say, that she's not sure they're going to survive this mission, any of them.

Nona is relieved, mostly, that she could forget everything but her family and her friends, not worry about tomorrows to come. But, she knows relief sounds awful under the circumstances, so she tells Pyrrha she'll behave.

Pyrrha carries Nona to a massive truck, as big as a house, where some BOE teams are checking out the people with the whitened eyes, so like the makeup Nona wore as Harrowhark. Pal is issuing orders, as Cam sits in a wheelchair with a clipboard, but asks Nona how she is as she and Pyrrha approach. Nona doesn't answer, instead asking a question of her own: are all these people Pal's family? Metaphorically, he says, yes, and Nona can see the relief in his body.

Most of the people look hard-worn but cheerful. Pyrrha warns Pal quietly that if any of the Heralds get down into the tunnels, everyone's done for. Pal says necromancy's a non-starter, it weakens them for days. Even blinding themselves almost killed them when they were much stronger.

Pyrrha asks about Ianthe, and Pal says she's getting lively again, he hasn't much time left. Pyrrha says either Pal's high on something, or he knows something she doesn't. Pal says he doesn't really know anything, but he's ready to gamble. Soon, everyone will load back into the truck. Pyrrha says they can't just use the truck to crush the Heralds. Pal says he doesn't intend for them to go back to the surface yet.

They're interrupted by the committee approaching, and by committee, he means We Suffer and an "Archivist".(6) While the Archivist and Pal discuss some math, Pyrrha asks WS about casualties.

We Suffer sighed. “Out of the frying pan,” she said, “into another frying pan—falling out of that frying pan—into the underworld, where there is a huge frying pan where the devils dance, and say, ‘Fuck to you.’” “You always had a way with words,” said Pyrrha.

Pyrrha asks if they're everywhere, or in one spot. WS says they're mostly at the mouth of the tunnel, but "we" will run out of bullets in a matter of hours, and there's no escape if they collapse the tunnel.

The Archivist recognizes Pyrrha's voice as new to her, and Pal introduces them, saying the Sixth owes Pyrrha "everything barring tenure."

Pal tells WS he's about to ask everyone to get back on the truck, though it'll only be temporary. The archivist asks Pal how he plans to get everyone out, and he says they'll go through the River. Pyrrha says Cam's the one with no blood left to think with, but Pal thinks it will work. Pyrrha says he's not a Lyctor, the ghosts will strip them to the bone. Pal says, very lightly, that they won't this time.

WS asks him to prove his certainty. Pal says he can give her ninety percent, and asks Juno Zeta to fetch Kiana, Cam's sister, and maybe her dads too.(7) Cam protests, only Kiki, her dads might not understand.

WS and Juno Zeta go to find Kiana, while Pal wheels Cam back toward the truck Nona woke up in, and Pyrrha follows, still carrying Nona. Pyrrha knows exactly what the Sixth pair are about to try, and does her damnedest to talk them out of it.

“I’ve loved you two,” she said. “Not well. Not even wholesomely. I don’t have it in me. But I’ve loved you—in a better world I’d be able to say, ‘Like you were my own,’ but I don’t know what that would even mean anymore. You’ve been my agents … you’ve been stand-ins for something I haven’t had for longer than either of you can understand.(8) Which is why I’m saying—don’t do this. Please, don’t do this.”

They don't answer, so Pyrrha continues, saying you can't take this step back, it's better to die clean, die free, because what they're about to do isn't about love, it's a mistake.(9)

Palamedes stood, and Pyrrha stood with him. He reached out and grasped her wrist strongly. “Whatever you think we’re doing, we’re not,”(10) he said. “Whatever you think you’re doing,” said Pyrrha, “you shouldn’t.” Camilla said, “Just watch us.” Pyrrha tugged her wrist free of Palamedes’s hand. She reached down, and tilted Camilla’s chin up, and looked at her for the longest time. Then she leant down—she kissed her brusquely and briefly on the forehead—and, startlingly and even more briefly, on the mouth. Nona, who even then could never ditch the lessons of the hand and the mouth, watched that kiss and felt very sad. It was like watching Pyrrha stealing something she didn’t want to take—reaching out for the juicy, cherry-red part of the oven, even when she knew that all it could give her was a burn. And Nona saw Camilla, with her cold, navy blue mouth, and could tell that Camilla understood.

Cam tells Pyrrha not to be such a "chicken hawk",(11) as Pyrrha leans in to give Pal, even in Babs's body, the same treatment, as Pal calls her "an appalling old roué". Then Pyrrha goes and leans into the truck where she'd put Nona down, and Nona can see that she's sweating like she did when she drank the bleach.

She mumbled,(12) “You knew this was happening. You knew this was happening months ago,” and when Nona put her hand on Pyrrha’s, it was like Pyrrha hadn’t even noticed her.

A small crowd has now gathered: the Archivist, and WS, with a young woman who must be Cam's sister, and even Crown, all come to bear witness. Cam finds energy to stand up, under her own power, and Pal draws her down to sit on the road, facing each other.

“Camilla, we did it right, didn’t we?” Palamedes said, and now Nona knew he wasn’t speaking to anyone else in the universe. “We had something very nearly perfect … the perfect friendship, the perfect love. I cannot imagine reaching the end of this life and having any regrets, so long as I had been allowed to experience being your adept.”

Cam starts crying, and Pal tries to comfort her, but Cam says she's just so relieved. He promises it's not long now. Cam asks if "she"(13) will know who they are, in the River?

“Oh, she’s not stupid,” said Palamedes lightly. “In the River—beyond the River—I truly believe we will see ourselves and each other as we really are. And I want them to see us. I am not saying this was our inevitable end … I am saying we have found the best and truest and kindest thing we can do in this moment. Tell me no, and we’ll go on as we have been … and we’ll go on unafraid … but say yes, and we will make this end, and this beginning, together.” Camilla shivered all over. Then she was at rest; she relaxed her head—the lines of her neck drooped like a flower—she raised it again. “Palamedes, yes,” she said. “My whole life, yes. Yes, forever, yes. Life is too short and love is too long.”(14) He demanded: “Tell me how to do it, and I’ll do it.” Camilla said, “Go loud.”(15)

Pal cracks open a secret compartment on Cam's knife, pours the powder into his palm, and Cam eats it. Then tells her not to look back, as he rests their heads on each other's shoulders. Shortly, Cam bursts into white flames, rolls away from Babs's now-inert body, and stands, a pillar of white flame. Cam's body sizzles, her steps leave a trail of black and bloody footprints. She falls, rolls on the road, as if burning to death. Nona could almost die of witnessing it.

Then, something in the fire shines red, and a figure stands, and the flames die. They're naked, and whole, and ask for clothes. Kiriona almost starts taking off her jacket, but thinks the better of it. Kiana takes off her trousers, leaving her in shorts, and We Suffer offers her coat. The figure puts these on, with thanks.

And it was just Camilla, after all—Camilla having lost all that fringe and most of her hair except for a charred inch or so—Cam with new eyes, and a new face, for all that they were the same-shaped eyes and the old familiar features.(16) But the eyes were a different colour, though Nona could not see what colour from where she sat. All she could see was that they were different. And the features, though in the same order, were making such a different set of expressions—not Camilla’s, not Palamedes’s—that it struck Nona all at once: they were gone—they had left her—they were no longer there.

Nona wails, and the new figure breaks past WS and Kiana and ruffles through Babs's pockets until they find a purple silk handkerchief, then lopes over to Nona "in a way that neither Camilla nor Palamedes had ever moved but was filled with both of them" to give it to her. Nona complains that it's too fancy to use, and the figure says well, there won't be a birthday party now, so it can be Nona's present. Nona says it's a relief they didn't get the hair ties, after all, with her head shaved.

The new figure whirls around to look at Babs's body, now inhabited once more by Ianthe, staring them down with "commingled hate and despair." She observes that there was another way after all, then.

“I know how hard it is for you to kick against the goad,” said the new person. “But there are more worlds than this. Come with us. We are the love that is perfected by death—but even death will be no more; death can also die.(17) There’s still time, Ianthe. Time for you, and for Naberius Tern.” The abandoned body stared at what had once been Camilla’s hand, at what once had been Camilla’s face, then at the hand again. After which it said brightly— “I bet you say that to all the boys.” The body collapsed and was empty; staring up at the top of the tunnel, its eyes strangely white and silent.

=====

(1) Something certainly fractures and heals for the Sixth this chapter. (2) Her only goal in life, even now, is to find Harrow again. Their gravity is unstoppable. (3) Pyrrha knows Nona is Alecto, somehow. Nona knows, too, but is fighting so hard to hold on to being Nona that it has to remain abstract, like not looking at the thing you see in the corner of your eye because looking at it would make it real. (4) They know she's about to lose the fight to stay. They know she's dying faster than they thought. (5) Alecto, sneaking through. It's safe enough to say that now, right? Nona's whole book was originally Act One of the Alecto the Ninth book that just grew out of proportion as Nona took over the story. Pyrrha almost saying an "A" name really gives it all the final stamp. That's likely who talked through Nona's mouth after Nona's tantrum, too. (6) Juno Zeta~ (7) Callback: that time in GtN that Gideon asked about Cam's mum and Cam didn't answer. It seems she didn't have one at all. (8) They've been her family, this past six months. They've been everything she'd half-forgotten she needed in these ten thousand years of existence. (9) She has so many regrets about her choices. Who wouldn't try to warn Pal and Cam, these two perfect cinnamon rolls, off becoming the only Lyctors that Pyrrha ever saw? (10) But, Pal knows this, he knows enough, and he knows it's not the only way. He felt it all the way back at Canaan House. He's been refining it with Cam's help ever since. And sometimes, all the calculations in the world aren't quite enough, and you need to make the final leap of faith to the other side, or die trying. (11) Chicken hawk - Sometimes, the gay male equivalent of a cougar. Other times, someone who mooches off others instead of getting their own. I feel like this situation is a little of both. (12) I think this is Pyrrha talking to herself, but it's so ambiguously phrased, it could be Alecto talking through Nona again for all we know. (13) Who is “she”? Well, I think we can make a safe assumption here. Who’s the only person Cam and Pal were ever as close to as each other? Dulcinea. (14) One of the most quoted lines from the series, I'd hazard. (15) One of the OTHER most quoted lines from the series, though at least this one's used several times throughout multiple books. (16) There's something so fascinating to me about how the close narration of Nona's perspective gives away so much of her talent for reading people. It's the same face, but different somehow, the same person, but not at all. Especially for this particular scene, it gives Muir some really powerful tools to express what's just happened. (17) A much, much bigger plan is in play than anyone ever hinted at, and that's taking into account the plans Mercy and August had to literally kill God.

[clonerightsagenda]

I am not a trans woman, and Pyrrha Dve's gender situation is very complicated, but I am wondering how other people feel about all the posts going 'happy father's day to Pyrrha' or calling her a dilf or submitting her to 'best dad brackets' just because, presumably, she is in a guy's body. Feels kind of weird to me