#'but i dont own them bc i dont like them' okay? i dont wanna hear what u have to say then

[owleics-fr]

I feel like u should have a minimum of 3 snappers in your lair (minimum 1 m pose) to be able to talk abt them, i dont wanna hear anyones opinion on them if they dont own them anymore

[bunnyboy-juice]

honestly. being able to be honest with my loved ones about when i am Mentally Unwell but also Dont Want To Talk About It has done wonders for my mental health

[celestialmancer]

⛈️ ❌ ❌ ❌ // 2:09 am, tbd ;

[strangersynth]

bc you have things to say doesn't always mean you needa say them let alone it also doesn't always mean it's your place to say them kwim

[d3stinyist1red]

GIRLIE, YANDERE OLDER MAFIA BOSS!!(TAKE YOUR TIME IF YOU HAVE OTHER REQUESTSSSS!!💗)

ʏᴀɴᴅᴇʀᴇ ᴍᴀғɪᴀ ʙᴏss x ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

yan mafia boss who you work under, with him being your boss and your his right hand woman

yan mafia boss who treats you like you own him, following with whatever you say

yan mafia boss who doesnt like any medics touching him, wanting you to be one treating him

The medic was standing in front of him, clearly fearful for her life bc the man in front of her could kill her if she did the slight mistake. She tried to pat and help the wounds of the Mafia boss who smacked her hand away and huffed.

"Bring me my n/n, now." He said glaring at her as she quickly nodded, basically running to you. She told you about how he refused to let her help and touch him as you sighed. You rubbed your temple before nodding and smiling at her.

"Don't worry, Ill deal with him." You said politely, nodding at her before walking past her, going to the room where he was at. You opened the door and you saw the way his eyes lit up, and a grin landed on his usually nonchalant face. "Love!" He said, as you walked up to him.

"Why are always acting so stubborn to the medics? You know that they're there to help you, idiot." You said clearly irritated, making him pout and tilt his head. "But, I want you to help me!!...and have your hands all over my body..." He whined, grabbing your hand and resting it on his cheek, looking up at you with hearts in his eyes.

yan mafia boss who has to always be in constant contact with you

ʏ/ɴsᴅ𝟷ᴅɪᴄᴋʀɪᴅᴇʀ!

n/nnn

where are uuuuu

n/nnnnn

n/nnnn

...?

...

...

no reply?

Have other hoes?

YOU DO DONT YOU?!!!?!?!!?

i hate u.

You getting blocked.

dont talk to me. I know you hate me.

Okay, im going to kill my self.

...?

....

...

This is (yans name, yall could make sum up) cat, he just shot himself

do you love him

...

...?

baby you know that was all a prank

i love u

pls let me eat ur ass

i wanna slurp ur kitty so good that the only thing i could taste is u mami

(seen 1 min ago)

ʏ/ɴsᴅ𝟷ᴅɪᴄᴋʀɪᴅᴇʀ!

ur rlly gonna leave me on seen?

ur lucky i dont come and cream all over ur face rn

pls touch me

yan mafia boss who has his bodyguards protect you no matter where you go

"Okat sigma 1, hawk tuah, ohio go protect n/n, you better fucking protect her with your life, ya hear?!" He said to his bodygaurds aggressively, scowling them down as they shook in fear,....i think one of them peed their pants...erm!

yan mafia boss who is madly jealous, putting a bullet into anyone's head he sees as threat for your love.

yan mafia boss who when you arent around, he struggles to sleep. He tosses and turns, his mind racing with scenarios about what they might be doing or who they’re with. "is she with that ugly bitch from work again?! Is she with one of my bodyguards?! Is she cheating on me?!" He hiccuped through his sobs, biting on his nails, hair all messy from tossing and turning throughout his sleep

He often wakes up in a cold sweat, feeling empty without them next to him. If you spends the night somewhere else, he'll start spamming you on everything even roblox.. If you dont answer within 5 mins, he immediately sends his men to try to find you, and paces around his house, restless waiting for your reply. bruh u were js buying sum takis...

yan mafia boss who is your boss who favors you a little too much!!! <333

IM PROB GONNA UPDATE SOME MORE ON TUMBLR BUT IM STILL ON BREAK ON WATTPAD CUZ I LOST MY GOD DAMN PHONEEE

SORRY IF THIS IS SHORT I DIDNT RLLY KNOW WHAT TO DO FOR MAFIA BOSS YAN

[whousestypewriters]

its you and me, baby - j.l x reader

pairing: joey lynch x fem!reader [established relationship]

requested: yes / no

warnings: swearing and sadish/insecure thoughts?

a/n: dw guys im still feeding you even tho im not online (this has been ling over due as well sorry to the two anons who requested this for taking so long!!) also i rlly dont like that i kinda not really sorta made aoife a problem in this bc joeyaoife forever!!!

taglist: @lxvebelle, @ecliphttlunar,

you like to think you're not insecure.

really.

but sometimes those small moments of doubt creep in and you find yourself questioning yourself more.

like right now as you watch your boyfriend talk to a very pretty girl at the bar. the same girl he'd been talking to for the last fifteen minutes. aoife molloy. she went to school with you and joey. you never really talked much to her but always got the vibe that she was a perfect shining star, that everyone loved.

example number one; your boyfriends smile right now.

he's smiling brightly at aoife, chatting away while he gets drinks for the both of you, laughing at whatever things she says. the feeling starts to build in your gut, one you desperately try to shove down because its the worst feeling ever.

and you see them too. the slight touches from aoife on joey's arm. fucking hell you're going to need several drinks if this is how tonight is going to go.

aoife's loud laugh breaks through your thoughts and draws your attention - not that you weren't already looking at them - back to her. joey's eyes are alight and you feel a ping of sadness and two ugly emotions you definitely don't like; insecurity and jealousy.

why didn't joe's eyes light up that bright when you two were together? why did he laugh as loud? was it you? were you just not funny enough? or was it something else? that one thing deep, deep down you were always afraid of. that you weren't good enough for him. and that he had found someone better.

"stupid shit thoughts," you grumble to yourself. "shut up, shut up, shut up."

pushing away all thoughts, you decide on getting your mopey ass a drink instead cause clearly someone else can't do that. standing up you make your way over to the bar and just to be petty you slip in next to joey and aoife and call out to the bartender ordering your drink.

joey hears your voice and his head instantly snaps around to you. "y/n, hey baby i was just getting us some drinks," he says with a small grin.

"yeah it seems so," you roll your eyes picking up your drink and heading back to your table. joey seemingly knowing that you're pissed says a quick goodbye to aoife and follows you over with two more drinks.

he sits down across from you and tries to make eye contact. "are you okay?"

you answer with a short nod and a sharp, "yes."

jealousy isn't a good emotion. its such an awful feeling, and you do not like it. so when joe asks, "you sure, baby?"

you kinda snap. "i said yes. i'm fine okay?"

he lets it go for now but you feel his eyes on you through out the rest of the - admittedly short - time you spent out together. you know he knows something is bothering you.

yeah, somthing was bothering you, someone called aoife molloy who's the prettiest person ever and who had joey lynch laughing his ass off for at least twenty minutes before you interrupted.

now you liked aoife, she was a sweet girl, but seeing the way she was with joey tonight really made you wanna bitch slap her. that was your boyfriend not hers.

the ride home you were quiet and you tried to bury the jealousy and insecurity bubbling beneath the surface you really did. but those dumb little thoughts kept weaselling their way into your head creating more doubt.

after you had both gone inside - still not talking - joey had had a shower and started to relax getting ready for bed while you had your own.

the hot - ok more like burning - water did nothing to ease the awful feeling in your gut. it was aoife molloy most guys your age would kill to go out with her. and she had chosen to talk to your boyfriend - who you aren't kidding yourself he's absolutely gorgeous. you've heard girls whispering about him more that a few times - you're not-single-very-taken-boyfriend.

ugh.

so when you come out of the shower and still didn't talk to joey thats when he snapped.

"alright thats it." he shoots his arms out wrapping them around your waist and throwing you on your back on the bed. he leans over you one arm on each side of your head caging you in. "what is wrong, and don't you dare say nothing because i swear to god i will kill you-in-a-non-threatening-way-because-i-love-you," he rushes the last part out.

"nothi-"

"y/n."

"fine," you sigh. "it... bothered me tonight, when you were talking with aoife."

"and..." joey eggs you on.

we're you really about to say this? "and i got jealous and insecure and i wasn't happy about it."

"why were you jealous?"

"because of her!" you cry. "its aoife fucking molloy, she's gorgeous, she's every guys dream girl and she was flirting with my boyfriend! and my boyfriend was smiling right back at her and yes it made me jealous because my boyfriend never smiles at me like that. he never laughs as loud when he's with me so yes. i. was. jealous."

joey's face stays still for a moment before he breaks into the biggest laugh. "oh, my god, y/n!" he chuckles loudly. "you have absolutely nothing to be worried about there. you wanna know what we were talking about the entire time? you." he leans down and presses a kiss on your forehead. "we were talking about you." he presses another kiss to your cheek, "aoife had brought up how grumpy you looked and we got caught up talking about you." he presses a kiss to the other cheek.

"me?"

"yes you, my grumpy little bug." he presses a soft kiss on your lips.

"there is no-one else, you got that? i adore you. i cannot stand the thought i being with anyone else. it physically pains me. i love you more than i'm actually sure is possible." he presses another kiss to your lips.

"its you and me baby. you and me."

a smile overcomes your lips and you pull joeys face down to kiss him yourself. "i love you," you whisper. "so much."

you both pull yourselves up under the bedcovers and fall asleep to the soft kisses and squeezes you exchange.

ok so maybe you are a little insecure but none of it matters as long as the boy who has his arms wrapped around you was with you.

a/n pt2: ok so i dont really know what happened with the ending so i lowkey js gave up on it. i hope you enjoy!!

[aryxchse]

Ary I know you're sick of me but like I literally love you and we're on the same wavelength so I have to tell you what my brain is cooking

Maybe NSFW headcanons with our sexy water boy🤭

If u need anymore ideas involving these headcanons just tell me girly I got you

(I think very unholy things about this man all the time so I always have ideas)

No pressure at all girly just wanna see ur take on this. Love you bestie🩵

percy jackson nsfw headcanons (aged up)

warnings ; a lot of nsfw stuff ig and reader is implied as female

a / n ; gurl what sickness shut up 🏃🏻‍♀️ literally love u, i dont write smut but im %100 ok w headcanons 🫶🏻 also hope u liked it bcs i didn't, and lmk if ya'll want a part 2

- we all know he's a sarcasm king so he'd be a little shit and tease you or act all cocky when you whine or want more of him

- and will make you speak up like "what was that princess? didn't hear you" such a bitch

- quickie 👏🏻 guy 👏🏻

- ever since he grew up and started to have at least a little more calm life, he dedicated his moments to you and believe me, he's 24/7 horny

- he could do anywhere he wants and the bad thing is you're okay w it because who can say no to him??

- he was so SO respectful on your first time but you gave him the power to be all cocky later

- he hates daddy, sir kink but will call you mommy or ma'am

- praise 👏🏻 guy 👏🏻

- praise him and boom cums right then and there

- also very pussy drunk and will ask you to eat you out with his puppy eyes

- likes to make inside jokes abt your sex life in front of the others but thank gods no one understands

- broke the headboard once because he's totally a headboard gripper

- boob guy

- will squish his face between them or his dick

- doesn't like toys because he's -like i said- cocky and thinks his own guy can do better than any of them (slay king)

- he's the type of guy who treats you like a princess normally but fucks you like you're his enemy in the bedroom

- he likes choking but as a way of holding you, he doesn't actually grip hard and make you go purple (even if you wanted to)

- will use his powers inside you to make you squirt or cum faster

- bites everywhere

- whimpers when you give head

- will moan louder to make you excited, also to make you know that you're doing amazing

- he's a total booktok guy in bed and he grins like a devil like mother taylor said

- he was kind of awkward in earlier of your relationship like when he was 16-17, but he's a total bastard in his 20-26's. because he's used to having you around now and he's all confident so yeah

- i ran out of ideas and i kinda cringed away from my own writing lmao 🏃🏻‍♀️

[cum-a-calla]

Roman getting so overstimulated from cumming so much that he just starts sobbing 🫣🫣🫣 flinching away from touch but also pliant to it. Its too much but dont stop bc youre literally his only anchor right now. He needs his soul crushed back into his body. He needs to get squeeezeedd

The first orgasm had rushed through him surprisingly quickly. It had been a while, and hearing the things you’d whispered into his ear and your eager, slippery fingers gliding over his cock had him thrusting into your fist within minutes.

You sit behind him, watching him in the mirror. It’s full-length, ornately framed in brushed chrome and clean enough that you feel you could reach forward and touch right through to the twin images of you and Roman inside. You’re snug draped over him like that, legs splayed out on either side of his as you wrap your arms around his body to jerk him off from behind. He’s got his button-down shirt all rucked up over his slim belly, no pants to speak of. He watches your hands in the mirror and occasionally even meets your eye, his pupils dilated beyond belief, like wet, blackened moons hovering above the fever-spots high on his cheeks. His cock barely wavers after the first climax.

“I can’t do it,” he mumbles, voice drawn high. He shakes, all the way from his core. You hold him, anyway. His hands are free, able to stop you from doing anything he doesn’t want to do. He keeps his fingers taut and tight on your thighs, almost tucking them underneath your legs. Completely surrounded by you, by your scent, your tickling whispers into his ear. He whines and hangs his head back, but only for a split second - he can’t resist watching himself like this. You know just how much he needs it, needs to be treated like a desperate little slut. Your own arousal builds between your thighs, but that can wait. That can wait for quite a long time, if need be. “Too much… can’t. Can’t do it again.”

“Not up to you,” you coo into his ear. He shivers and you pick up the speed, reaching your other hand down to cup him by the balls. You pull on them so deliciously slowly, almost like a long stroke. He inhales sharply and holds his breath, staring so intently at what you’re doing that it’s almost like he’s glaring, eyebrows drawn, a vein standing out on his forehead. Sweat slicks him from hairline to his throat, and he smells so good you could sink your teeth into his ribs. Kissing his damp skin is salty, exciting. “You’re my disgusting, needy boy and I want you to cum for me. I want it again.”

“I f-fucking can’t, you’re not - you’re not listening to me,” he lashes out. His tone is angry, almost as angry as his cock, swelling and flushing a deep pink that signals another release on the way. You give his balls a harder squeeze, a warning, and he looses that breath he was holding in a hiss. “Ah! - okay, oh - okay, please, please, I’m close! Please!”

“Use your big boy words, Roman. Tell me what you need or I’ll keep you on the fucking edge until it starts to hurt.” He makes these quick, panting breaths, hips rocking up once more. It’s almost like he wants to say it, the words building on the back of his tongue and disintegrating into pathetic little whimpers. You read all of this at once and act accordingly, ready to follow through with any and every threat at a moment’s notice. You ring your fingers around the base of his cock and hold it there, firm, squeezing him. He stiffens up and moans, almost a sob as it’s drawn out and trembling through the air. “Don’t make me ask twice.”

“Oh, I fucking want to cum, please let me cum! Please let me have it, please! I wanna cum, I wanna cum,” he cries. His voice keeps breaking, and in the mirror, you catch his chin trembling before he throws his head back again, hiding, blinking his tears back as he shakes out of his skin. A hitching gasp takes his voice away, and an almost imperceptible ‘please’ slips from those lips. He’s sniffling, trying unsuccessfully to swallow the sounds of his exhausted crying.

He’s beautiful. He’s a fucking painting, tensed and agonized and on the verge of coming completely apart one way or another. Every muscle tight. He digs his fingers so hard into your thighs that it really hurts, but the pain hides behind all the raging excitement of seeing him this way. You want to take a picture, you want this moment tattooed into the soft gray meat of your brain, illuminated behind your closed eyelids any time you blink. You could tell him right now that you loved him and it would be true. This Roman, this desperate, horrifically flawed being. Stripped completely bare and fleshless, everything exposed. Every nerve raw.

You loosen your grip and work your way back into a rhythm, slow at first, bringing him back. Showing him a kindness.

“See?” you say softly, lips against his skin. “See how good I take care of you? See how I can make you feel anything I want you to?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I fuh-hucking - I do, I do, oh my god.” Roman openly sobs, eyes and cheeks and nose red. “Th-thank you, I want it, I- I-”

“I know. Good job. You’re gorgeous like this, you know that? I could keep you like this forever.”

“Keep… keep me?”

“Yeah. All mine.”

“For- for…” Roman stutters into a moan, voice rising out of him like a powerful tide as pleasure crashes between his thighs once more. He’s close, dangerously so, cock bouncing in your hand. He doesn’t bother finishing his thought, instead allowing it to carry him away. Completely at your mercy.

“Give me everything, Roman. Go ahead. Cum for me, good boy.”

He goes so taut he points his toes, his body a long, thrumming line of energy. He’s nearly shrieking this time, thrusting up again into your wet fingers, almost thrashing against you. You don’t go anywhere, tight around him, and hook your legs around his to keep them apart, keep them still from kicking. He whines and seems to have a little second rush as you do so, words spilling out of his mouth but remain indecipherable within the chaos of his crying and moaning. It takes him longer to relax his body down this time, catching his breath and letting the aftershocks pass through him. It’s easy to stroke his stomach, to run your hands up inside his shirt and stroke his chest. Your fingertips tickle at his collarbone and he hums, going limp against you. Aside from the odd sniffle, his emotions are back under control. You know he’d hate it, hate you staring at him like this, but you steal a long glance in the mirror. His eyes are half-closed, face blotchy with all that red. Swollen around the eyes, all cried out. The shape of his thighs is lovely, the shape of his cock even as it softens. The sparse hair on his lower belly.

“M’tired,” he mumbles. “You… you killed me, you… bitch.”

“I know,” you say, smiling behind him. The both of you rise and he haphazardly pulls on a pair of boxers, stripping his shirt off and throwing it on the floor as he heads to the bed. He scratches the back of his neck and does a little stretch as he stumbles. He spares an annoyed glance behind, an eyebrow lifted.

“Well… get up. You’re coming too, right?”

Right? A quick flash of hope, holding another breath. The only way he knows how to reliably reciprocate to you, to show a kindness, a tenderness. Don’t leave. Stay with me.

“Yeah - yeah, Rome. Need to rest my arm, it’s fucking dead.”

Roman’s face relaxes, smirking at you and rolling his eyes. “That’s on you. Pervert. I’m just a victim in all this. Now, less talky. More sleepy. Get up.”

[choccy-milky]

OKAY HEAR ME OUT CHOCCY SEB GIVES CLORA A SNAKE RING?!?!

Soooooo rereading the fic and I’m back to chapter 33, and it totally popped into my head that they are IN THE VICTORIAN ERA and do ya know what was super popular after the engagement ring that Queen Victoria was given by Prince Albert? A SNAKE RING

AND IF THAT AINT SEB TREATING CLORA LIKE THE QUEEN SHE IS THEN I DONT KNOW WHAT IS 😭💙💚✨

Thank you for coming to my ted talk 🫣😂

LMFAOO YESS TRUST ME, IVE SEEN THIS AFTER DOING MY OWN RESEARCH ABOUT VICTORIAN RINGS, ITS SO PERFECT!! AND THE FACT THAT ITS GREEN TOO LMAO, prince albert was a possessive slytherin confirmed!!🤪 but yea ill DEFS be incorporating a snake into the final design of cloras ring HAHA. i basically HAVE to...yknow, for period accuracy 🥰

WOO YAY im glad i could inspire you to start writing!!!🙏and i get it, writing fanfic is defs self indulgent and for ourselves first and foremost, but obvs nobody wants to release their work into the void😩 as for how my own fic got popular, one of the main things is defs timing. i published the first chap basically within the first week of the game being out (it came out on the 10th and my chap was on the 18th) so it was there right at the peak/start of the fandom. but i also dont wanna attribute it all to timing BAHHA cuz i think im a pretty good writer and that helps....my fic also didnt get popular right away, but i was consistently posting every single week + eventually started adding art every single week, and was just really dedicated to not only writing but also drawing art for it (which is also obvs another huge factor/probs the biggest factor). ive had so many ppl tell me they started reading my fic bc they saw my art on pinterest or something LOL, and some ppl have even read it fandom-blind bc they were into the seb/clora dynamic??? which is another point actually. i always joke about how i love my cliches and good girl+bad boy dynamics, and that im unashamed about loving them LOL, but also...they're cliches for a reason!!! lots of us eat that shit up!!!😤so i think thats defs another factor, vs if my fic was a bit more niche and avant garde LOL the fandom is also (understandably) a lot slower than it was at the beginning of the year so itll be harder in general, but maybe you could commission art to go with your fanfic? ive seen a lot of other HL fanfic writers do it, and i think it defs helps to draw attention! GOOD LUCK and i hope you keep writing!!!🫡💖💖💖🙌

huh??? go with the tide pods instead, THAT shit looks bussin😩😩

AWW TYY😭😭I LOVE THAT HAHAH AND IM GLAD U THINK SO💖💖 my friend also asked me this question after seeing my recent ask, and i STILL have no idea what i would have named it instead LMAOO, thats how bad i am at naming things. even a year later im like bruh idk!!! clora and sebs bizarre adventures??? i guess id probs make it something light/dark themed in retrospect, or something more specific to the ancient magic, but i still have no idea what LOL

[ideasarestuckinmyhead]

Hey red sorry if this im being annoying and you dont have to answer if you dont wanna but bc this just happened to me how would the yuurivoice boys react to someone knocking on listeners/their window at like midnight TY<33

Who the FUCK is that???

Dw your not bothering me! I like silly requests like this tbh. Also I feel like this is leaning towards more horror things.

Lowkey my worst fears of someone knocking on my window. Personally I keep a knife in my room.

Alphonse

"Wha....who the fuck just knocked on the window? Boo stay here real quick." He's grabbing a weapon and looking out the window. Alphonse is like 6 ft something right? Him half asleep but adrenaline rushing through him making his face into he nastiest glares he's ever done. Also 100% down to fight someone if they think they can pull this shit. Boo grabs a gun they keep in the bedroom just in case.

Seth

"Huh? What....someone knocked on the...what?!" Shot right up off the bed and ripped the curtains open ready to grab someone. He didn't hear bc he's a heavy sleeper and Scout waking him up all scared already kicked his ass into motion. He's standing there in boxers ripping the window open to see who tf knocked ok the window. Scout keeps a hammer in the bedroom for self defense if something happens.

Chalrie

"Cas...Cas someone's at the door...wait why did that sound so close-" Woke straight up after realizing that it was midnight. He's not able to really fight but Casper keeps a bat and switch blade in the bedroom. He grabs the bat while they get the switch blade, he's peeking out the window. Making sure not to stand too close to Casper incase they have to shank someone.

Finn

"Sunflowerr....make the noise stoopp....what time even is it?? Sunflower what's wrong?" When Finn first wakes up he's fully discombobulated. He doesn't even have his glasses on so everything blurry and he's still sleepy. Sunflower is the one to tell him to wake himself up bc someone knocked on the window. Since there's not a weapon in the bedroom Sunflower grabs a pot that Finn fixed for one of his plants.

Faust

"To whoever is interrupted my beauty sleep you better be bullet proof..." Since he def dealt with a stalker before he has weapons in the bed room. Such as a small hang gun, he's also ready to kick someone's ass in hand to hand. Since he probably either lives in a apartment or one of the penthouses Auron owns he's confused om how someone is knocking on the window. Star I'd def having war flashbacks rn.

Auron

"Rook...Rook wake up. Don't be alarmed but there might be someone outside stay here." Hc that he's a semi light sleeper, like he can hear everything in the penthouse so if something is out of the ordinary he wakes up. Is not afaird to kill someone if he thinks their a threat, but I also wondering how their knocking on the windows. Might think it's a bird but grabs his brass knuckles just in case. He makes Rook take a gun and lock his bedroom door staying by the bed to Mae distance between the person and them.

Lucien

"Hhmm? Angel go to beeddd....what do you mean you hear someone knocking on the window?? Oh this person better leave before I grab them." A deep sleeper that took a minute to wake up bc Angel has to tell him someone knocked on the window. He didn't think of anything at first but when he was about to look he asked how tf are they knocking on the window this is an apartment complex?? He rips the curtain open ready to snatch whoever dare scare his Angel. Said person has a kitchen knife in the bedroom just in case.

Jack

"...Buddy...where you up it's mid-....what. Shit okay hold on, let me get up." Was half asleep but now is fully awake of everything in the dorm. Depending on what floor he lives on he's trying to figure out if it's some random student playing a prank or a creepy person. He grabs a golf club a roommate has as a weapon, he prays he doesn't break it and goes to the window. Buddy is behind him with a lamp, it's a fish one Jack took to college with him.

[prettyboykatsuki]

This is a weird thought piece question so if you don’t wanna answer it’s okay. But genuinely as a character I think Katsuki is very aware of people he cares about. Almost in an Izuku type of obsessive way, maybe less intense and prone to writing it down, lol. But as I trust your perspective on him a lot I wanted to ask, do you think he’s the type of person as a friend or significant other or potential person, to be aware of insecurities?

Or to care genuinely? For example if you were insecure about your size. Do you think he would be aware of that and be silent? Or would he love the insecurity in spite of your feelings? Or does he not really think twice because he cares about you and doesn’t know you would even feel that way. It’s a weird dilemma I ran into wanting to write a piece for him and I realized I couldn’t figure it out. Hopefully I am explaining myself properly?

Thank you 😭

i understand what u mean lol dw and i think if u read some of my pieces my stance on this aspect of him is hard to grasp bc i dont often write more insecure readers. mostly bc i think its a little bit harder to write well as it requires more nuances but thats a diff can of worms jdhfkj

i think its important to understand less so what bakugou does and does not care about and moreso the way he process information - which is largely intuitive.

like i do understand what you are asking and because bakugou is bakugou - yes, i think he is probably aware of these things. he picks up on them often and usually uses them in some context when throwing insults or even in more light hearted interactions.

but a lot of bakugous informational processing is based on a pragmatic, systemic and reason based way of thinking. and a lot of what impedes that way of acting is his own emotional state. in the beginning of the series, he's a lot more insecure in himself and he projects that onto other people. it causes him to act in very irrational and ridiculous ways

however by the end of the series, katsuki s a fully processed and emotionally realized man. so he defaults to a more elevated, calm and secure version of himself that relies on what he's best at which is using his intuition to draw conclusions and implementing a reason based plan. before he was doing that just with logic.

but he has the emotional tuning to also do this in his relationships and he's taken a lot of time to learn to navigate them.

so i think in a partnership, it's unlikely that he does not know at all. i think he probably picks up on the insecurity in smaller ways but does not put a real name to it (i.e. i dont think he thinks of it consciously / actively) until something comes up which forces him too do it

and that something would be if its putting his partner in any kind of serious emotional distress or comes up frequently as a reason for their upset.

katsuki has this line he says very famously says to shouto "there's no way you could've noticed something that i didnt but lets hear it anyway." and he's being passive aggressive af lol but there is some merit to that.

he's a very keen person naturally and he spends a significant amount of time with you - so he definitely knows to an extent. maybe no actively, maybe not consciously - but just an intuitive understanding.

however, because he loves you - he will only intervene when he thinks its necessary to do so. and this isn't because he doesn't care about you, but because he specifically had to handle his own insecurity and he knows firsthand what you're experiencing in himself.

but katsuki loves you and also has a lot of faith in you. he will push if he thinks you need to be pushed, and he will assure if he thinks you need to be assured. he's a good partner in that way. but for the most part, he won't interfere because he trusts in you as a person to overcome things. insecurity is not something that can be mended by another person if it's within yourself, but it can be healed when it's reframed to you by someone who loves you.

and if you need that from katsuki he will undoutedly give it to you. but he trusts you to handle business basically. so not in a bad way, he treats your insecurities as simply being apartof you.

he doesn't have any feelings about the insecurity itself. he's not lying when he says that. but thats because he loves you more as an amalgalm of all the parts of you. his view of you is rounded out and he sees all of it as you. if he loves you, he loves you. there's nothing that needs to be changed as longs as its you. so he has no opinion on if you like or dislike something. you are you no matter who you are or what you look like.

bakugou is very explicitly not shallow. appearances in love are generally unimportant to him. he falls in love with people not looks even when people don't believe that because he's so pretty lmao

[ghostsvacuumcleaner]

Hello! i was wondering if you could write me a req bc i saw your reqs r open (bc I ✨respectfully✨ suck booty at writing)

basically, reader made friends with Ghost while working together on deployment, and became friends, they hang out sometimes bc they live kinda close, blah blah blah. then, Ghost doesn't hear from reader in months (which isn't normal, bc they text like once a month, just to make sure one another is okay when they can). then, one day, in the middle of a meeting Ghost gets a call from an unfamiliar number and almost ignores it until he sees that the area code is the one reader lives in, so he decides to answer it. boom, guess what? the reader is in the hospital, sustained r/srs injuries, and is in need of emergency surgery, and the reader made Ghost the emergency contact (lets also say they traded dog tags bc fluff?)

homie gets all sad bc Reader might die and is in a mini coma, blah blah blah, realized he r in love w the reader, and uh

you can decide whether or not the reader dies and what happens next

i fr scream YIPEEE when i saw your req open, i adore your writing, like top tear, makes me cry but laugh and scream bc how are you so good?! srs, im so jelly of your writing! okay anyways, hope you have a lovely day, you dont have to do this is you dont want or if im jus a silly fucker and mis read and your reqs r closed or sum

Hellloooo! Thank you SO MUCH for the beautiful compliments and for this request <3 I loved it so much I started writing the day you sent it to me. But since it's very emotionally charged, it took me a little while to finish and I'm sorry bout that, and I rly hope you're still around and eager to read it!!! Well, there it is, my take on ur req, hope you like it.

Take me back (to the night we met) | Simon "Ghost" Riley x f!reader

✦Word count: 2.1k ✦ Pairing: Simon “Ghost” Riley xf!reader ✦Summary: Simon gets a call from the hospital saying that you are hospitalized, in a coma and in great life risk. ✦ TW and general warnings: sensitive topics, lots of angst, fluff though, death implications, open ending, sad af read at ur own risks cuz i'm crying in my room rn;

I had all and then most of you Some and now none of you Take me back to the night we met

“Johnny and I make our entrances fast. I clear the way, he goes front, three of you get in by the back and we surround the site to get enough space for the hostages to come out. Any questions?” Ghost asks sternly, as is the usual of his tone especially coming down to work. He was being brutally professional at the moment - if there was rather a sign of an existing Simon, it was gone the moment he got inside the briefing room. Silence follows for the next seconds while the crew seems to be pondering over what he said, analyzing the map over the big round table sticking to the center of the room.

As it is expected, no questions. He nods with his head assuming by the silence that they’re all understood.

“Our orders are to neutralize any individual we find on the site whose face doesn’t match with our hostages, which means we do it fast before they get the chance to call for reinforcements. We don’t wanna make a mess out of this.” Price then continues his own talking, marking X’s over the tactic map and giving the next orders to every one of them. It is when Gaz opens his mouth to say something, that Simon’s phone rings for the third time in a row. He curses mentally - he muted his phone the first time; now, it was vibrating in his pocket. Awkwardly, the vibration itself is heard by everyone in the room and they turn their eyes on him almost instantly.

“Hell.” He curses out in a low voice before shaking his head. “My apologies, Captain.” His voice tries its best not to come out too annoyed, but he fails and it does; despite the timing being inconvenient, no one seems to be bothered. Johnny furrows his brows in concern, and looks over at Price, who seems to have the same, perhaps even more intense, look on his face.

Ghost mentions to pull out and turn off his phone once again, but Price is quick to intervene.

“Riley.” He crosses his arms over his chest. “Third time in a row; seems like somethin’ serious, get out and pick up.” He states comprehensively.

Despite being slightly reluctant, Ghost agrees - it must be something serious. What, he couldn't come to imagine - but if for a moment in his life he had something close to a hunch, it was now, and it said he should take that call.

“Alright, one minute. Move on without me.” He nods and leaves the room, phone in hand and a worried sigh leaving his nostrils. When the door closes behind him and he walks a bit further down the hallway, he picks up.

“Yes?”

“Is this Lieutenant Simon Riley?” A feminine voice asks from the other side. Sounds in the background, beeps and small, muffled voices.

“Affirmative, who’s this?” He frowns.

“This is from the Special Forces Manchester Hospital, are you familiar with the name- hmm…” She seems to be taking a couple seconds to read, and continues saying your name. 

He freezes in place.

How long has it been since he last heard this name? How long has it been since you vanished like thin air, disappeared, stopped calling or answering? Busy. That’s what he thought. Busy with work, busy with anything. The two of you had always been two busy people, in a desperate need for time.

For a moment, in those torturous seconds of silence, Simon found himself praying to a God he wasn't even sure he believed in, that this nurse wouldn't tell him you’re dead.

“Yes.” It’s all he manages to say, with his eyes running down to the ground in a dead stare. Dead eyes. He gulps, after the despair in his chest makes him speak once again, “Why?”

“Well- sir, you’re her emergency number, we’re calling because we couldn’t manage any family members… She’s in a coma. She was severely injured in combat, and [...]”

His heart stops, like it never did before. He doesn't react, his eyes look around as if he's searching for something - as if searching for his own reaction hidden somewhere within that empty hallway. The weight of your dog tag around his neck seems to be suffocating him now. 

To his silence, the woman continues.

“[...] it’s… currently sort of impossible to predict her state within the next few days, she’s fighting but struggling lots; can you come over?” 

“Yes.” He sharply replies, immediately. His eyes are still on the ground as he closes his eyes, and nods. “I’ll be on my way, yes.” 

“Good.” She replies, and he turns off.

For a moment, he stops to breathe; Ghost wipes his hand over his mouth in a somewhat guilty expression, he should have reached for you. He should have reached you the instant he missed you, your calls. 

“Hell…” He shuts his eyes for a moment, his heart stings like he’s poisoned, it hurts - some sort of pain he swears to god, he probably never felt before. Not when he lost his training dog, nor when he lost friends before - maybe because there were always a lingering possibility between the two of you. It was nothing but a friendship, never had been - but every word, every phrase was full of underlines of sentiment, an immense desire to reveal his interior and spit out the fears he refused to speak about to anyone else.

It's the possibility that kills him now. Even after all this time, not for a second did you cease to exist in his troubled and saddened mind. Suppressed by all the worries and feelings he thought were more important than you.

Not for a moment did he stop thinking about that pleasant end to his career, the retirement he knew he deserved, a house at least isolated from the rest of the world with trees and streams, the snow falling when winter comes and the sun scorching the land. land when summer finally arrived. You, on the front porch. 

You.  You.

When the night was full of terrors And your eyes were filled with tears When you had not touched me yet Oh, take me back to the night we met

You were leaning back on the sofa, your legs stretched out by the small table that marked the space between you and the balcony railing of his apartment.

The rain fell calmly, some thunder, but few drops. The sound of them falling against the roofs of the houses below the level where you were was echoing in your ears, and he seemed busy drawing patterns among the heavy clouds that covered the sky. 

He gave up trying to find any stars in that rainy sky and found comfort in finding your eyes instead. They were already watching him, almost expecting him to say something, even though the silence between two of you usually speaks volumes more than words itself; you’ve never been good with them, much less him. 

Simon looked down at your dog tag, lying brightly on your bust exposed by the tank top you wore. 

“What do you want to do after retiring?” He asked, his voice calm, his eyes almost closed. He took your necklace between his fingers calmly, and watched your shiny name exposed on the icy metal.

“Gotta be honest with you, can’t see myself retiring.” You replied, with your usual brutal honesty - something he particularly always liked so much about you. “What about you?” 

You don’t mind him, you allow.

“Don’t know.” He was, too, brutally honest. “Seek fuckin’ forgiveness for my sins before I die and end up in hell, I suppose.” 

You laughed.

“Oh, fuck. Gonna die trying to find that, mate.” You admit, raising your eyebrows in another big sip of your beer. “We’re all going to hell… At least we’ll all party there together.” You sounded fun, and your eyes turned into little lines with the genuine smile you let out when noticed that he too laughed at your joke. 

“We’re partyin’? Tell me Johnny isn’t going…”

“He’s my first guest.” You laugh harder.

“Thought that’d be me.” 

“You hate parties.” You raised your eyebrows.

“I don’t hate you.”

You silently smiled and looked away. 

“Fair enough.”

When it came to the two of you, there was nothing but connotation.

You could spend hours in that apartment alone with him - and you did. Did plenty of times, and yet, among subtle touches and heartfelt conversations, the end would be the same. Not in his bed, not in yours: by the door, with a rueful look and smile on your face. 

With a held back hug you never gave, a held back kiss you never allowed and an uncertain goodbye before departing on a mission that could take your or his life.

There was a phone call, once.

He called you late in the night. He was drunk. Too drunk. 

“I’m scared.” His voice was low, fluttering, like those cold days he’d be waiting for his dad’s arrival in his bed, under the covers, terrified and alone. “I’m scared. Can- can I see you? Can I come over, please?” 

As you hugged him on the couch in your own apartment now - that huge, strong, self-sufficient man collapsing in your lap like a baby in need of comfort, your heart was never right about anything like it was right about loving him. In that moment you knew it, you were fucking lost, taken, desperately in love.

You departed; you gave him your dog tag, he gave you his. A memory, an attempt. Do not forget me, you said. Don’t you dare forget me if I die, Simon Riley.

“I didn’t.” 

He looks at you with regret. The devices that help you breathe keep him from seeing you fully, whole - but still behind all those hospital beeps and sounds, you're still as beautiful as the first time he saw you.

He wants to go back to the past. Reverse everything he did, redo it from scratch; the first time he saw you, the first time he felt his heart ache listening to you talk about another man, all the times he repressed his feelings and swore not to love you.

“I want to be with you.” He mutters, his eyes emptily stare down your almost lifeless hand resting over his. “After I retire. I want to be with you.” He says again, closing his eyes, shutting them tight like he’s trying his very best to repress the tears he wants so bad to let fall. 

“I fuckin’ need you- I- how did this happen, how did you…” He gasps as the clock ticks, low, the sound of the hands ringing like doomsday inside his head. Every second that passed was one less with you. There are twenty minutes left for you to enter that operating room, and maybe you’ll never leave it again.

His eyes water and his legs give out, he kneels beside the bed, his suppressed voice sounding like a low, painful moan. The cry of a child who lost everything he had; of a confused teenager who would become a soldier, cold, dead inside, incapable of love - who loved you. Who loves you. “I’m scared. I’m scared- I love you.” He’d mutter, praying to all known gods to not take you. Take anything, anything from me; anything but her.

When the doctors came into the room and hurriedly moved your gurney to the ward in a desperate attempt to get your heart working again with the transplant, Simon sat in the waiting room with his face buried in his hands, his legs trembling. and the false hope that you would come back.

That you’ll be on that front porch, resting ever so happily, a bottle of beer in your hand and the dogs running around. He will have gotten rid of the mask and the habit of wearing it and you’ll be happy. You’ll be happy. You’ll be alive.

“God, please.” He mutters. “You’ve taken so much from me, now please, not this.”

He stands up as the doctor calls his name, with his heart on his hand and regret flashing his face off, he just wants another minute with you, another second with you, enough seconds so he can tell you he love you - he had, for most of his life and now, and he will, for the rest of his days with or without you.

I don't know what I'm supposed to do Haunted by the ghost of you Oh, take me back to the night we met.

[theywantedplayer]

can you please write something about trevor with how recently he’s been like picking fights? also i love your writing sm!!!🫶❤️

AN-There were two people that wanted ones that were similar to this topic I'm going to write all of them but a different scenario bc i LOVE ANGST

You and Trevor have been arguing back and forth for a little while now in the middle of your living room.

“Trevor you can't keep picking fights it's not okay”you told him he was acting like a child right now not able to own up to what he was doing “ Trevor you could get hurt! seriously hurt!”

“y/n I'm fine I'm not going to get hurt” he yelled with one hand on his hip and the other Moving anytime he talked.  His nostrils are flaring as he took deep breaths Trevor was very frustrated his hair was a mess from running his hand through it which was a habit when he got over emotional.

“ Trevor”You Sighed you wanted this to end “You get into a fight almost every single game why can't you just let it go”

“Let it go? LET IT GO!” He yelled “you don't hear what they say on the ice y/n,  trust me if you heard them you'd be acting the same way I would be” He argued again

 it was like arguing with a wall, you were so frustrated your eyes started to tear up. A frustrated grown left you as you ran your hand down your face

“Trevor please” You pleased “I cant keep doing this” you turned and walked back to the bedroom “I'm going to bed” you were too Exhausted to continue this argument you just wanted to go to  get ready for bed you were almost through the doorway until Trevor's voice stopped you.

“They talk about you ok” Trevor Admitted 

You paused in the doorway to look at trevor, He looked so Distraught and Worn down 

“They chirp me by saying things about you ok…there so how do you expect me not to say anything”

You took a couple steps towards him now back to where you were standing before.

“What do they say about me?” You asked but Trevor never answered “Trevor what do they say?” you asked again

“You don't wanna know” Trevor told Sighing as he flopped on the coach 

“Trevor if it makes you wanna fight I think id want to know” You told a little more ferm this time 

There was a long pause before trevor answered 

“Trevor what do they sa-” “A no good puck bunny slut”

“What?” you whispered, you're not gonna lie it stung to hear that someone thinks that off you.

Some tears started to fill your eyes at the thought of it

A groan left Trevor lips when he saw the tears in your eyes “This is why I didn't want to tell you I knew you were gonna get upset and I hate seeing you upset” He Admitted reaching out his hands telling you to come over. You stood in front of him looking down at him threw tears, Trevor grabbed the Back of your thighs pulling you into his lap.

“Baby come on dont cy, please im sorry” He wiped a few tears that fell from your eyes onto your cheeks 

“No its ok” you told Placing your hands on his chest “I just- stop getting into fights trevor” you pleaded “please I mean it”

Trevor groaned as he buried his head into your chest making you laugh a little 

“Mhnm” was all you could hear from your chest 

“Come again?” 

“Ok” He agreed “I’ll stop fighting” 

You smiled softly, both your hands came up to play with his hair. He leaned his head up to look at you “thank you trevor” you smiled leaning down to place a small kiss on his lips.

You laid with trevor on the coach for a while until he fell asleep with his face in your chest  

[definitelynotshouting]

*glances up from shoving my hands into hauntingly neutral Speaker concepts* you got any worldbuilding you wants to talk about? I’m love worldbuilding

Okay i let this one percolate for a little bit bc i didnt immediately have anything i could like, coherently speak abt at the time, but i do actually think this could be interesting for yall to hear???

So in hunger au, the universe is quasi-sentient, and all the entities within it (Players, Watchers, Listeners, even Seekers when they were still alive) are like... its fruiting bodies, if we wanna put it in fungal terms, so to speak. Entities are the universe's way of exploring, understanding, and experiencing itself; because of this, everything is connected to it via the Greater Code in some capacity. (For newly Spawned Players especially, this connection is very deep and strong-- its what teaches them how to survive, how to function on their own; its what urges them to make that first crafter and begin playing the game, to learn and to keep learning. I've likened it before to something of a mental umbilical cord, of sorts, that fades over time as the Player emerges into their own.)

The point here though is that everything in the universe is the universe, and is therefore technically the universe speaking to itself, over and over and over again, in many different voices.

Which means that, functionally, there is only one native language in this universe.

This doesnt mean multiple languages dont exist, but the thing is, theyre all conlangs!! Language is in itself a form of play-- its not uncommon at all for Players to develop their own languages, unique dialects, and body-language that are all very server(or even individual)-specific

I dont really have a name for this universal language (frankly id probably just borrow it from galactic; as i told @/raichett when it came up in dms the other night, my skills really do not lie in making conlangs atm 😂😂😂😂😂) but i thought that would be fun to toss out there for you guys to munch on as i edit hunger au chap 10 :] thanks for asking!!!

[djpachipikachu]

do graves!leosagi ever get tired of their friends/family labelling them?? like maybe leo’s bros make fun of him for having a “boyfriend” and he gets like rightfully irritated by that ?

its Kinda amusing bc eventually leo’s family at least straight up thinks theyre just really good pals and its like wow ! friendship ! in a more oblivious sense like they just kinda shrug and go oh yeah usagi’s here again whatever

originally mikey was insanely insanely suspicious of usagi and what his relationship was with leo (“hes literally just a friend” “YOU MEAN A BOY-FRIEND. AND U NEVER TOLD US.” “what am i supposed 2 say do i update u guys every time i make a friend” “If I See This Fuckinf Rabbit Sleeping In Your Bed Again I’m Telling Dad” “WE WERE HAVING A SLEEPOVER”) (mikey was mainly shocked bc leo invited a friend to sleepover who they didnt know And leo didnt tell anyone there was an extra mouth to feed for brekkie) but once everything was smoothed over usagi just became another regular, similar to how april is

leo himself tells raph that its a little more than that but only raph rly knows it and hes always had a hunch about them so it didnt change much in how the brotjers saw the two

usagi’s family on the other hand is definitely more “Boyfriend? boyfriend? boyfriend? crush? romance?” kitsune teases usagi about how dramatically romantic it must be to fall for a guy he hated in the beginning and usagi is like . so filled with Eugh. This Is Not Romantic. ick feeling that it causes him to be more in denial at how close he’s gotten with leo (in the beginning at least , later on kitsune still teases him but he’s more at ease with how him and leo are, so he always jusy goes “ew no im not kissing him dates r gross” but over time she toned it down to more “ooh is someone missing a certain kappa?” kinda teasing rather than “whens the wedding/has your first kiss happened yet lmao/etc” kinda teasing)

hana calls leo his boyfriend like all the time and like . usagi doesnt rly correct her bc she’s 8 and he doesnt know how to explain that they “arent Really boyfriends sure they do things that couples would do sometimes but its platonic and well you dont rly know what platonic means uh”

so she gets a pass on all her “IS THAT YOUR BOYFRIEND” comments since usagi is just like “yeagh its leo u wanna say hi”

auntie notices how leo visits a lot and she kinda just is like “okay ur like my kid now. lol.” she thinks they are just best friends bc usagi said they are and who is she to think otherwise, she kinda just absorbs leo (and later on the hamatos) as her own family and doesnt question their relatiomship much

chizu and gen tend to stay out of usagi’s personal business like that But gen did think that leo was a girl for a good while before he was ever introduced to him . and he was like “usagi if you wanna pick up the ladies u need like. do better. than this” “what. What” “like take a shower man” trying to give him flirting/relationship advice without actually knowing leo at all and also assuming usagi is straight

all in all its never really serious if people call them boyfriends or just best friends bc they dont really care to correct anyone it only matters if its like “so did you hit the [insert romantic relationship milestone] phase yet haha” bc that gets tiring to hear constantly

mainly all their family is just like “oh okay” at their relationship since i dont Really want to make the hardships of being aroace or being queer a big point since we already struggle enough with that irl ! a few details here and there about how their unlabelled status confuses some people but generally just a “we’ve seen weirder shit who cares” kinda energy to it

i love rambling . Thank you for the wuestion ily /p

[jokeson-u]

okay heres the course of my full thoughts on the natvan friendship.

lets start with elementary. i dont think either of them were sent to pre-k or daycare. they were less socialized as kids than some of their peers (def not all. they arent the only lower class families in wiskayok.) i think they were buddies as kids, and played at recces and stuff.

most kids didnt wanna play w nat bc her clothes didnt smell very good and found her kind of offputting bc she was pretty quiet (the way children of abusive or neglectful parents often are). i think by the time 2nd/3rd grade rolled around most kids kinda picked up on the judgement from their own parents, which carries over for kids in their own interactions.

i think it was kinda similar for van. she wore the same striped shirt and khaki shorts almost everyday and her hair used to be realllly long as a kid bc her mom didnt get it cut often. kids found her long har cool at first and called her rapunzel, but got over it pretty quick when they realized van didnt like people braiding it and putting flowers in her hair. she was friendlier tho, and it took her a little longer than natalie to realize why she was treated differently. basically, van got used to hearing 'no' when she asked if people wanted to play with her or be her friend, but she didnt stop asking, whereas natalie stopped very quickly as she was often avoided.

van and nat became friends cus they were two of the only kids who consistently played with each other and would sit next to one another in circles and stuff. they ate lunch together, and that dynamic carried over to middle school.

when midle school starts, van gets a hair cut, and she and nat both wear fresher clothes and what not, but their reputations are already solidified. some people are nicer to van bc shes so social and makes some more friends. its not like she and nat have a friendship much deeper than elementary school bonds, but they still sit together at lunch and in classes they have.

idk when i think taissa comes into the picture, but ive always imagined taivan having a friends to pining to lovers relationship. so i think some point, maybe 6th or 7th grade, van meets tai at soccer club and is smitten. tai lowkey is too and van feels really welcomed by her and they connect. van start spending a little less time w nat bc she wants to be w tai. its not intentional at all. yk how first crushes are, especially a sapphic one, AND in middle school.

seats are assigned after first pickings so van and nat still sit together and have a decent rapport, but nat does have her lil 12 y/o feelings kind of hurt by van spending more time w tai than her. shes always one to pretend she doesnt care tho, so as time goes on, nat never speaks up about it. she kinda lets her and van remain how they are, and allows the distance to grow.

van never stops caring about nat, its just that shes a little older now and is becoming friends with new people. in her mind, nats always her buddy, she just has different relationships now.

nat becomes kinda friends w kevyn around this time. he wasnt a dick to her in elementary, and played w her sometimes when van wasnt around. they get closer, and his friends are cool w nat too. nat and van are still absolutely cool w each other, they just dont talk as much.

all this establishes itself more in 8th grade, but as van is a little older and reflects a bit, she decides to reach out to nat more. shits not great at home for nat, shes more jaded, but she considers it when van asks her to join the soccer club. kevyn convinces her to do it, so she does. van is hyped, other girls in the club arent so much. nat sticks with it despite that because she does actually really enjoy playing soccer, but it takes some more convincing to get her to try out for the actual team once they enter high school. van says she'll probably be the only one from the club who drops soccer, and itll show that they all got to her. it resonates w nat and she decided to join the team and try not to let it seem like she gave a shit.

nat ends up kinda getting along w some members and being on the team gets a bit easier. vans enthusiasm made more people less openly cruel to her. lottie never talked shit about anyone who didnt deserve it, and they ended up getting along in a way they didnt expect (ill be making a detailed post at some point about my insight on lottienats friendship). shauna and nat vibe when jackie isnt around, and sometimes taissa takes it easier on her cus she respects that van liked nat as kids. still, nats not necessarily close to any of them, but she does have some people on the team shes cool w.

around the middle of sophmore year, tai and van realize they feel the same and date on the dl. again, high school relationship, its pretty immature, so van feels like it isnt her place anymore to tell taissa to stop when shes rude to nat (i have the 'bong to hit/dick to suck' scene in mind as van was the only one to not react). obviously she says something when other people cross a line, as seen w travis. nat doesnt mind, she kinda would rather taissa be honest than pretend to like her. it doesnt rly affect anything in the team, nat didnt talk to any of them much more than necessary from the get go. shes less hurt about it than she was in middle school, and shes already picked up on taivan being a thing, so shes chill. shes gotten closer w kevyn so she feels pretty good about things.

at the beginning of junior year, (maybe the end of sophmore year idk i cant decide,) the incident with natalies dad happens. nat doesnt show for a couple weeks, and van tries to ask kevyn what happened. no one really knows the full story, but lots of rumors go around once the news of mr. scatorccio dying by a self inflicted gunshot wound to the head got out. van didnt rly pay mind to them, and became more outspoken w tai about not contributing to rumors.

when nat returns, she doesnt go to soccer for a bit. she and kevyn mostly skip, and kevyns friend started bringing them weed to help nat out. she smoked a bit before, but it becomes a regular thing. same w drinking. she had access to it as a kid and would take swigs. her father sometimes even let her get tipsy when she was a preteen. but after his death, it becomes more of a crutch. all his alcohol is lying around, so she provides the drinks to their skip sessions.

when nat decides its time to act unbothered, she comes back to soccer. shes still, understandably, traumatized, so she zones out even more and talks even less. but shes there. everyone is either extra nice to her, or gives her total space. van just tries to be casual, which nat appreciates.

by the half way point of junior year, nats pretty heavily into drinking and weed and psychedelics, and its at this point it affects her day to day. skipping is a daily occurance, she barely keeps her grades up to stay on the team. van tries to let nat know shes still a friend, but it upsets her to see nat showing up drunk. it reminds her of her mother. and van.. just cant deal w that. shes struggled so much with having a neglectful parent due to alcohol. shes tried her hardest to not let the world get to her like her mother did, and avoid falling down that path. watching it happen to natalie is just disappointing for van.

this isnt to say van doesnt drink and smoke. she def does, she likes to let loose, but i see her as a strictly social smoker/drinker. nat obviously has a diff relationship with drugs and alcohol, and the her reliance is something that rubs van the wrong way for personal, but also caring reasons.

its a combination of nat distancing herself naturally bc of her subtance abuse, and van realizing she cant fix it + having her opinion on nat change a bit. she cares for natalie. she has for a long time, even if its not the same as with more day to day friends. but she decides that theyre older now, nats made her choices and van doesnt agree with them, as much as she understands them.

theyre friendly. but vans self preserverance, tai supporting her protecting herself, and her sometimes seeing nat ending up like her own mother, the distance grows on both sides. nat doesnt even really pick up on it. shes pretty clouded for the last two years of high school, and she doesnt care. she has her vices and she has kevyn and she convinces herself thats enough.

i think maybe a part of nat is bitter that she feels things worked out so much better for van than her. its not entirely true but i mean.. kinda? at the same time, i think nat just sort of feels that way towards everyone and the entire universe.

its just all a cycle imo. they got close bc of their similar family dynamics, but those dynamics are what made them into the separate people they are. theyre no longer aligned bc they took different paths based on the cards they were dealt. nat became her parents in a way, and van did her best not to, and to not let anymore of that into her life.

then the crash happens, and none of it matters anymore.

tldr; van and nat got along as little kids bc they were treated differently. their friendship never developed past elementary school level bonds, and they drifted apart naturally due to different social circles and life choices