#''it's a sad song / but we sing it anyway / cause here's the thing / to know how it ends / and still begin to sing it again

[vancalox]

thought abt solas as eurydice again

[roanofarc]

if you quote hadestown in the tags of timeloop posts i love you. but also i hate you. but also we might be soulmates do you want to get trapped in a timeloop together

[sillylittlestoryteller]

[alllgator-blood]

'FOGGY STREETS AND CHRISTMAS LIGHTS'

(part 3/3)

I'm gonna infodump about the backstory of this comic, don't feel obligated to read it because it's not cotl related it's just personal stuff, I just want to be able to write about it somewhere cause I can't really talk to anyone about it.

As always, thanks for reading this far, sorry my stuff has been such a bummer so consistently. This comic goes out to all my "christmas induced depression" homies, I left my house maybe like ~5 times all month and it was NOT pleasant hearing "IT'S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR!!" on the radio when I'm so ready for it to be over. Gonna take it reaaaaal easy til the year ends, you guys take it easy too!! Got some asks I have to respond to when I'm more stable but probably no new comic pages til january

Alright uhhh so this part of the comic is pretty much taken directly from the last time I saw my great-grandma alive, a few days before christmas. She didn't remember me, but at the nursing home there was a piano, and I sat down and played some stuff because I didn't know what to say. I was really into lisa the painful rpg at the time, and I played that "I've got the joy" song that the villain sings without realizing it was an old christian campfire song. She didn't really say much or move that whole night, just kind of gave me a polite blank smile, but started singing the words when I played the notes to that song.

I kinda stopped in shock, my dad frantically asked me to keep playing, so I did. While the comic I made is way more sappy than the actual moment was, I wish I'd cherished the moment longer. I didn't know it was the last time I'd see her alive. Every family christmas was held at her house when she was around, so it's been weird the past few years. I actually lost another dementia-addled grandma to cancer on christmas eve in 2009, so the holiday was already kind of weird for me on top of everything else that makes me sad this time of year. That's what part 2 was about, I'll spare the details but I wrote leshy to act out how I felt back then. Why are we all sad? This is supposed to be a happy time, all the decorations are up and we're almost all here, so why is everyone smiling yet everything feels so wrong? I feel like since leshy's canonically the most ignorant one to things lurking below the surface, he'd be the one to try and make everyone feel better but not quite understand why everyone is so miserable. My first memory of having self injurious behavior came from then, hence why I had leshy pull his leaves off in the last comic. It was confusing and frustrating and I was just old enough to comprehend something was wrong, but not old enough to understand the depth of it, it DEFINITELY didn't help that nobody helped me back then so I made leshy's siblings actually come in clutch instead of grabbing him/yelling at him.

That night with the piano was something that's stuck with me the few years she's been gone, but I felt kind of strange when I asked my dad and my sister about it and neither of them remembered it. The room we were in was completely empty so nobody else witnessed it but us three. I myself have a history of head trauma and memory loss (plus, native americans are disproportionately more likely to develop dementia... lucky us) so if I ever forgot about that moment, there'd be nobody left to remember it. Sometimes when I do comics, it's my way of going "this happened at some point, and the only evidence it ever happened was me witnessing it, so if something happens to me I want the memory to stay alive in some form."

Anyway. The autistic urge to overshare, am I right? Idk what my religious ass great-grandma would think of me drawing demonic comics about my last memory of her, she'd probably think it's funny though cause she raised my dad whose interests have always been "death metal and devil worship". I'm not sure if anyone read this far, I just hope my dumb comics can convey the things I can't say with my voice and struggle to say through text. None of this was supposed to be "feel bad for me!! Woe is me!!", it was supposed to me more like...cathartic? Healing? I almost didn't post this comic because it felt kinda weird, but seeing people connect with it made it worth it imo. Thank you

[notebookmusical]

it's a sad song, but we sing it anyway cause here's the thing, to know how it ends, and still begin to sing it again, as if it might turn out this time.

[jupiterlandings]

“It's a sad song,

It's a sad tale,

It's a tragedy.

It's a sad song,

But we sing it anyway.

'Cause here’s the thing:

To know how it ends

And still begin to sing it again-

As if it might turn out this time;

I learned that from a friend of mine”

Novel Aesthetics:

Dracula by Bram Stoker

[cynthia39100]

It's a sad song It's a sad tale It's a tragedy But we sing it anyway Cause here's the thing To know how it ends And still begin to sing it again As if it might turn out this time

Hadestown x Merlin

[tragicvampireromanceisland]

some snippets from the current joyness fic i've been hammering away at 🤭!! i'm expecting the entire thing to clock in between 16 to 18k words so i am sharing just a few bits on account of I Am Impatient. chose ones that are probably the easiest to read out of context lol. alt text under the cut 👍🏾

Snippet 1:

"Well, I just...I was thinking...Joy, do we even deserve to go to Dream Productions?"

Joy's smile shrinks a bit at that. Oh. She didn't like Dream Productions? Well—given how many night shifts they'd shared together (Yep! Anxiety had said. According to the numbers, Sadness only ever shares Dream Duty with you. Uhh...what did you need this for again, Joy?), she figured Sadness would be just as excited...well, maybe everyone else complaining just got to her or something, that's fine, Joy could fix that—

"—Aw, Sadness, look—I promise the vibe's gonna change as soon as we get there! Sure, everyone's been a little crabby, but the car's just a little crammed and the road's just a liiittle bumpy from all the new puberty construction projects—they just need that to wear off a bit! Pluuus, the song's already been helping a lot—here, do you wanna sing along? Eighty-three mem—"

"—No, Joy, like...do we deserve it?"­­

And when Joy frowns at her, confused, she places her hand on top of the one Joy's been restlessly drumming against the seat this whole ride, and goes

"Us?"

Now it's Joy's turn for her face to heat up, apparently. "Wha—" she chokes on that, then shakes her head. "Uh." She looks down at their hands. "Haah?"

Wait—did Sadness actually find out why Joy chose Dream Productions? Well, other than the whole spiel of Yeah, sorry, guys, I did call Imagination Land, and yeah, turns out they're just not letting any visitors in right now—which, aghhh, dagnabit, you know? I'm just as heartbroken as you are that we can't see— eugh—Mount Crushmore, but make do with what you can, right?

"Oh! Uh—welll," she tries again, hoping to play it smooth, "why wouldn't...weeee?" she stretches the word out and winks.

"Um." Sadness just stares blankly back at her. "Well, 'cause we made such a mess last time..."

Snippet 2:

"Whaaat? It's not like I need some big plan! It's—come on, it's Sadness! I spend a lot of time with her already! And besides, it's not like I haven't been patient so far! Like—I know she likes me! She just gets real shy about it! And, well—heheheh, iiiit's kinda cute, you know—? But—" she shakes her head, cheeks growing hot as Disgust raises an eyebrow at that. —Anyways, she just...needs the right moment to be comfortable with it! You know?"

When Disgust frowns this time as she considers that, it looks a bit less judgy than usual. Well—sure, it's still kind of judgy—come on, it's Disgust—but she looks more confused than anything.

"Uhhh, what, so you're telling me that you're—" she points at Joy for emphasis, "—being patient?"And then her face twists into a smirk again."Joy, it’s been months since you told me something was up. I've never seen you be this patient about anything in your life."

"Wha—not true!" Joy shoots back, even though she knows Disgust is just riling her up on purpose at this point. As much as Joy loved teasing her (come on, easy target. All Joy had to do was mention broccoli or boogers and s­he'd all but completely lose it), she was always the one emotion who'd actually, on rare occasions, tease Joy back. And she always managed to say just the right things to get under Joy's skin when she did. Which—well, she guesses it's sweet or something, that they're good enough friends for Disgust to do that, but excuse her if it's a bit hard to get fond over that while her good friend is busy snickering at her.

"Ugh. Whatever," she grumbles. And that only seems to fuel Disgust's satisfaction further, so Joy shakes her head and goes back to smiling. "Okay, fine, yeah! Maybe I'm being a little bit more patient than usual. But that's 'cause Sadness...needs that, you know? And besides, all that dancing around each other's gonna end tonight! Wiiith all of this!" Joy spreads her arms out. "A little change of setting, something special! And, well, considering we're probably the only two out of any of us who actually like Dream Duty, I obviously chose the right place—"

"—So you did lie to us about Imagination Land."

"Uh—" Joy stops short, then chuckles nervously. "Welllll, I know how much you love keeping secrets, so maybeee if you just kept that fun little one between you and me—"

Snippet 3:

Joy reaches back to yank Sadness right up to the front of the door with her. She manages to peer in and catch a glimpse of the rest of her friends watching one of the sets get dressed—but then she gets the door slammed shut on her. She groans.

"Okay, but—there's no way that we're banned! Everyone else got in just fine!"

"Well, frankly, I don't know who thought it was okay for them to get a tour, either. Serves me right for letting the new hires work the call desks. You emotions just think you're all that, huh?" Joy blinks, bewildered, as the Mind Worker jabs a finger at her chest and narrows her eyes. "That orange one's already on thin ice. The sheer level of entitlement to give me her stupid notebook about how she thinks I should run my studio—and now she's trying to spread those pages around to everyone else in there like it's some manifesto—"

"—Ahhh, yeah—Anxiety's...Anxiety's like that," Joy mutters, "buuuut just let us in, and we'll fix that right up!"

Joy winks at Sadness and splits into a grin as the Mind Worker smiles back at the both of them—and then it falters halfway through as she hears the sarcasm dripping from her voice.

"Ohh, sure, right away! Since you two are so great at fixing things, huh? Yep, okay—lemme just pop right over to Administration and toss out your charges for trespassing, disorderly conduct, breaking and entering, destruction of studio property, deliberate dream interference, unlawful release of Subconscious wildlife, and reckless endangerment by clown!" She gulps in a breath of air after running through all of those at once and then scowls. "That last one's new, you know—we had to come up with an entirely new charge just because you two decided to screw up in a way no one's ever screwed up before!"

Joy winces as she feels Sadness shuffle to hide behind her and whimper. She's not taking too kindly to being yelled at. Joy grimaces.

"Umm, so what you're basically saying iiiis, we're special?"

"Out."

Snippet 4:

The world doesn't quite fade away this time; Joy's still painfully aware of the unintelligible chatter flooding through the halls, the bitter smell of coffee wafting past as drink trays get rushed back and forth. The way the crate is leaned up against the wall, the dream posters look like they're looming right over them when Joy looks up, gigantic and skewed. And when she feels Sadness rest her hand lightly on her arm, Joy feels both giddy and a little smug. Of course this was working! All Sadness needed was a little push—Disgust should've never doubted her. So Joy smiles to herself—then smiles down at Sadness, leans in, and—

"Oh, Joy, this is so sad..."

Joy reels back as Sadness pats her on the arm. "Uh. What?"

"Well, all the dreams are changing..." She sighs and looks back at the wall. The red light from the COMING SOON sign flashing right above the newer posters seems to find its way down to them, somehow. Joy watches as it glints against Sadness' glasses. "And they've torn down your favorite one already..."

Joy slumps a little at that and sighs. Leave it to Sadness to find a problem that wasn't even hers to get miserable over. She rolls her eyes as she nudges Sadness on the shoulder.

"Alright, maybe it's a bit of a bummer, but so what? Pfff, it's not like you liked Fairy Dream Adventure that much," she says with a snort. "You don't have to cry about it."

Sadness rubs at her eyes, the beginnings of her tears falling down her cheeks. "But...but you did...and you cared about it, so...so, if you care about it, then I care about it, and if it makes you sad, it makes me sad..."

"O—Oh," Joy says softly, heat flooding her face. She actually has to look away for a minute at that, stare down at her feet dangling over the crate's edge. Leave it to Sadness to just say the sweetest thing in the world to her like it's nothing.

[ashkav]

Rainy, her baby, and the Laughing Samurai theory

So Shioli Kutsuna's character has been revealed! Rainy, a pregnant woman on the crew of the Magellan who has the ability to cause rain fall (Shioli said this during the Tokyo Games show, though I can't find the relevant clip.)

several very interesting things are said during this cutscene, and when combined with what else we know from the promo materials and also from DS1, I think they can be combined to form some ideas. And boy, do I have Ideas about Rainy.

First, the foundation, all (very few) info from previous media that I think is relevant to Rainy.

a) The Songs:

We have so far had three songs about babies/ children in the promo material. Lou's lullaby twice, both connected to Higgs, on the electric guitar and then again with Troy Baker singing it very ominously. And then the broken down rock-a-bye baby tune right at the very end of the state of play announcement trailer during the credits. Obviously, songs to do with children that are usually happy or peaceful now inverted from comforting to something scary and unsettling = Bad Things are going to happen to the kids.

But Raindrops Keep Falling on my Head is not a song that has been made sad or unsettling - yet.

I absolutely feel this song is going to be called back to at a climatic moment in the story, possibly at Rainy's own death, possibly as the last thing she says to her baby. The song itself seems like a bad omen to sing to a fetus, what with Rainy's name being what it is and the lyrics being about perseverence through hardship - difficult not to instinctually think Rainy and her baby are about to suffer some pretty awful trauma that ends with one or both of them 'falling' to the Beach.

Raindrops keep falling seems very likely to continue the same pattern of a comforting song for children introduced at a peaceful time only to warp into horrifying due to a climatic moment - the only reason it hasn't already been warped is because the audience has to hear it the first way first and it didn't exist in the last game to be set up the same way, unlike the other two.

b) 'I just can't wait.'

This is a pretty innoccuos statement for a pregnant woman to say irl, but within the game verse, Rainy is literally the second woman we've ever seen who has expressed an actual desire to have children.

Let's very quickly run through the list of female characters who have children in DS1:

Lucy, Sam's wife who killed herself because the visions she was getting from Sam's DOOMS afflicted baby were so horrible she couldn't continue living.

Lisa Strand, Sam's bio mother who became brain dead early on in her pregnancy due to a car accident and who we never hear from, even in supplementals, and is shot in the head by Sam's dad.

Bridget Strand, Sam's adoptive mother who revived him after accidentally killing him and kept him to raise out of guilt, traumatising Sam so badly throughout his life that he suppresses his memories of her and doesn't really want to speak to her even as she lays dying of cancer in front of him.

A whole host of unnamed still-mothers, impregnated after brain-death and farmed for the BBs they produce.

and finally, Lockne, who actually wanted a baby not because of the baby itself, but because she wanted some part of her lover to live on even after his death. Due to issues with her uterus, she is incapable of becoming pregnant, and even when her twin agrees to surrogate, the baby and Mama both die in a terrorist bombing at the hospital.

(for the purposes of this list I am not counting the mountaineering couple, since they don't matter except to create stakes for that one timed mission.)

There's a pretty clear trend here - almost no one wants children, and those that have them are in incredible danger of losing the child or themselves. This makes sense in a world where hospitals no longer exist and the very act of childbirth is incredibly dangerous and mostly everyone is pretty much asexual anyway, so it's a massive outlier that Rainy expresseses wanting the baby, even if it would be a normal thing to say in our world.

Maybe this is a stretch, but I can't help but feel there's some thematic parrellel here between Rainy, who wants her baby to be born very much, and still-mothers, who are made pregnant but never truly give birth and who cannot ever consent - not that they don't consent, but that they are incapable of consent in the first place. All their children, except three (Sam, Lou, and the BB Coffin managed to save), die in the womb. They're always bridges and never babies, never born, never really living or dead. They are nearly unanimously incompatible with the concept of life, or growth, just the same as their still-mothers are incompatible with the idea of wanting them.

More on this later.

C) The Samurai

The Samurai is visibly pregnant. There is only one pregnant character in the cast (so far). There HAS to be a connection here.

This is not the first time we've seen a visibly pregant character do crazy insane shit - Sam, for instance, is 'pregnant' with Lou's glass womb for the whole first game and probably the second too, and he does some intense stuff.

The circumstances with Rainy are different though. For one, her womb is made out of the squishy human stuff, not bulletproof glass, and she can't take it off. Rainy doesn't seem particularly athletic either: in her and Tomorrow's intro, where they're stacking boxes into a shelf, she moves slowly and with effort, not to mention that the Samurai is taller than even Higgs (Troy Baker is 6'3), where Rainy is shorter than Sam (Norman Reedus is 5'10, and Shioli Kutsuna is 5'3). Plus, the Samurai suit has no way to see out of it, so even if somehow it augmented her height, strength and speed, she still wouldn't be able to see what she was doing.

It is very, very unlikely that she is the one inside the mech suit. No, instead, I think it's her baby in there.

Sounds insane, but listen: we've already seen Higgs' robots have some connection to BT's, floating like they do and having visible strands leading up like they do and potentially being vessels for them. Dollman is explicitly stated to have been a normal adult human person who used his medium powers to possess the doll and got stuck there when his human body died. Even Lou seems to have the ability to haunt her old pod, with the ghostly winged BT form and tentacles. The technology and precedent for soul-to-machine connection exist, the Samurai makes baby noises, it looks pregnant. And thematically...

Remember that earlier section, where I was talking about Rainy wanting the baby vs still-mothers who cannot want and produce babies who cannot live? Also remember how parents with DOOMs very often pass the trait onto their children, and that an adult with DOOMs (Sam) and a BB with DOOMs (Lou) connected through the umbilical made some very strange things happen?

I think that Rainy's desire for a child interacting with both of their DOOMs will produce something very strange. I have two major theories about what could happen to get the baby in the machine:

The baby and mother cannot both be on the same plane at the same time. Rainy's baby suffers some strange accident while Rainy is giving birth (maybe she gives birth as the Magellan is travelling through the Beach?), and the connection between them becomes like a still-mother and BB, but only in some aspects. The connection between the living and dead is swapped constantly between mother and fetus instead of mother alone tethering to the world of the dead. Metaphorically, you could compare this to a Drawbridge, evolving out of the previous Bridge-style that BRIDGES created with the still-mothers. With Rainy and her baby, either side can be 'drawn up', and the burden is shared between them. The tragedy of this is that even though both Rainy and her baby survive, they can never truly meet or meaningfully interact, as one must always be on the Beach when the other is in the living world. Possibly this could be made more extreme, where instead of being seperated in mind only they are also unable to interact physically - one must physically be in the Beach if the other is in the land of the living. We know it's possible to live on the Beach because Tomorrow confirmed it, even if Sam described it 'like hell', so maybe they build the baby a suit that it's pod can slot into to help it survive the time it has to spend on the Beach - we know BBs are quite smart and have an abnormal amount of dexterity and also increased senses that allow them to see BTs, so it could be possible that the BB became skilled at piloting the suit because it was literallly fighting for it's life on the Beach. This would thematically mirror Bridget/Amelie, or at least the lie that Bridget/Amelie told the world - that Amelie was Bridget's daughter who couldn't be removed from the Beach.

The baby is psychic pre-birth. The baby is believed to have died inside Rainy because it stops moving and scans show that it's funtionally brain dead - plot twist being that the baby is alive, but has just accidentally astral projected into a machine. The Samurai is an upgraded version of Higgs' BT robots that either Higgs built or Drawbridge built after they'd studied some of his work, and the pregnancy bump is an unconcious change that the baby makes to the robot, like how Dollman can minorly alter his appearance when he's mad.

I think this would give Dollman an interesting double - adult in a small, powerless puppet vs baby in a big, deadly, hypermobile machine. Brain vs brawn, thought vs impulse. It even fulfills Jester vs Sage if we want to get Jung's archetypes in here, what with the Samurai laughing and Dollman being an expository friend you carry with you, like Mimir from God of War.

The second one is the one I feel is most likely - it ties in so neatly and honestly I'm not too sure that Rainy would survive her time swapped out on the Beach if whatever the baby samurai was fighting was strong enough to make it so skilled against Higgs, even if there does seem to be a community there to help her.

Whatever ends up being the case, Rainy absolutely definitely is not going to have a 'normal' baby. There is no such thing as a normal baby in Kojima land.

[thestevenmeeks]

I just finished rewatching Dead Poets Society, and had the urge to listen to Hadestown (amazing show highly recommend), the second half of the show specifically, as if my sorrow wasn't enough. When I tell you, the first song I played was Road to Hell reprise, and almost started bawling, because it perfectly showcases the average DPS fan rewatching experience:

It's an old song And that is how it ends That’s how it goes

Don't ask why, brother, don't ask how He could have come so close The song was written long ago And that is how it goes

It's a sad song It's a sad tale It's a tragedy It's a sad song But we sing it anyway

'Cause here’s the thing To know how it ends And still begin to sing it again As if it might turn out this time I learned that from a friend of mine

[riorsonxaden]

QUESTION...?

Song analysis

Kinda wild that this is the first thing I'm talking in length about since it's not my usual and I don't talk song analysis I typically write fanfic and make edits when creative but this won't leave my head so here we are.

Things to note before we jump in:

In Taylor's speech last night when she said she was the happiest she's been in all aspects of her life, she referred to this song as it being a happy memory. Being the lyrics it didn't click unless it refers to someone close to her now. The person who fits this is Matty.

Question...? Is in the pre-show playlist for The 1975. An odd choice if you ask me being unless you listen to Midnights you know it. From my knowledge Preshow playlists usually contain top charting hits, released singles etc. To me, this feels like Matty kinda showing off that she wrote a song about him. Sorry if there's any typos I did this before coffee and I didn't have my glasses on lmao. If you don't like Matty that's fine, then this post isn't for you and you can keep on scrolling.

I cut off the intro on accident, it says "I remember". That could be just setting up the song stating this deals with the past. Or it's a response to the line in 'About you' by The 1975 where Matty sings, "Do you think I have forgotten. She says no I haven't, I remember.

The first line in the verse is giving two characters: Taylor, the good girl. Matty, the sad boy. Taylor went to two shows in 2014 for The 1975. One in LA and one in NY. I'm going with NY for this setting. The one thing going on was that they hooked up. Possibly seeing each other albeit extremely briefly.

Regardless of what it was it impacted her life greatly. He painted her nights a color she's been looking for ever since. Ever since Matty left her she's been trying to chase that feeling. Kinda ties into her speech last night too because she finally found it. After she had to deal with one thing after another. Other relationships, media, pandemic. Basically all the hurdles in her life that brought them back together. (It could also be in reference to their past situationship and what caused the fallout. )

Taylor wants to talk. She has questions about the past and wants to clear the air.

I think this took place when they were all hanging out and everyone was just shocked when it happened. They kissed around friends and were teased about it. But the friends in question gave an approval by clapping. These were super close friends who wouldn't tell any media outlets so I'm thinking like Selena, George, Ross, Adam. Etc. People who won't talk but I could see teasing tf out of them but being supportive. I don't remember which show Karlie was at which is why I didn't say her. Anyway, she's now asking him and what he did as in do you remember? Cause I do. And then she continues with her questions.

Now, Matty was using alot of drugs around here so it's possible he remembered but not everything. Or it's possible he did and wants to forget that he left in middle of night. Because as soon she asks that he goes oh. The oh is him being like ah fuck. So then Taylor shoots back three consecutive questions. Whatever happened in the past I think was her call for whatever reason maybe he didn't want to public or be in a relationship. And because she knows herself, the feelings are getting too much, she's getting this strong connection and feelings she has to end it. And Does it bother him he didn't fight for it? Does it bother him the way it does her? Does he miss her? He seems taken aback and she's saying well its just a question. A hypothetical one. He's doubting that.

This is about the Brit awards and Calvin. Stay with me. Half-moon eyes elude to someone on drugs, i.e., Matty. Peep the last line line the image "but you were on somethin". indiciating the half-moon eyes are not from weed but something harder. The bad surprise is Calvin. And this is the moment Matty knew he fucked up because he had still feelings. He was jealous cause the brit awards was when Taylor and Calvin met and as we all know. The dude is a dickhead lol.

Lots of drinking, no one should be surprised by with Matty. Idk about the politics and gender roles. It's clearly about Matty. Since hes more of an activist than Taylor and has songs about politics, has worn skirts, make up, kisses guy. It's also kinda about Taylor. Idk love to heard thoughts. I know it my bones it connects. Could also be in connection with the fact that a couple months after the awards Matty says dating Taylor would be emasculating. I think he said it out of anger. Anger at himself for not being with her, jealous of Calvin, and pissed shes dating the said dickhead. Anyway back to the awards time, they are fighting. Matty is unhappy with her talking to Calvin. And she probably asks him again what he wants. He doesn't know but he sure as hell doesn't want her with that guy.

The second best after that meteor strike is going back to the first verse. About the color she's searched for. I said it deeply impacted her. This indicates it did for the both of them. After the impact of her, Taylor. Has anyone even come close to the intense feelings they shared in a short time? The her in question I feel like it depends on when this song was written. However if we take the scene that is set for us and the time frame given, it's probably Halsey. Otherwise if it was written in 2021/2022 then it could be FKA Twigs. Whichever her, there's no hate there. She's happy for him. Truly. Either one suits him better, however she can't help but wonder...

Then the chorus repeats. Back to her speech, the reason she is saying this is a happy memory for her. Is because now it is. Her thoughts are filled with what could have happened? That color she's been searching for, the missing piece, it's found again. It's come back to her. Now she can look back, laugh, and think of it as happy. This is why everything in her life finally feels like it makes sense.

feel free to add on if you like. This is just my initial thoughts breaking down Question..? after last night

Tagging: @musicjunkie29 @deeenerys17 @hauntedromantics @littleeyelidsflutter (Ya'll seemed excited by the Musicjunkie's post so I thought of you all)

[garagesesh]

heartbreak hotel

pairing(s): eddie roundtree x reader

summary: both of you were in love with someone else

warning(s): drugs & alcohol, sexual content implied

a/n: alright friends, I wrote this last march when the second episode came out and I was bona fide drunk but here I am posting it almost a year later cause fuck it! why not? anyways, enjoy! did not read this before posting whoops

␛ to masterlist

˚　　　　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.　　　　　 . ✦　　　 　˚　　　　 . ★⋆. ࿐࿔ 　　　.   　　˚　　 　　*　　 　　✦　　　.　　.　　　✦　˚ 　　　　 ˚　.˚　　　　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.　　　　 　　 　　　　 ੈ✧̣̇˳·˖✶ ✦　　

You were watching as Eddie congratulated Camila.

Lighting a cigarette, observing as he perfected the fakest of smiles while looking up at her with eyes that said something different. You couldn't ignore the way his finger tips brushed along Camila's waist, lingering for as long as possible when she pulled away from him after the hug she had pulled him into. Eddie watched as Camila let herself be pulled away into the sea of people by a blonde and brunette you had never met before this evening. He stood there for awhile.

You wondered what was running through his mind. You knew something was up with him and knowing Eddie since the sixth grade you liked to think you knew him and how he worked.

Eddie stood there for a while, watching Camila disappear into the sea of people dancing, before retreating to the table where you were currently parked at.

“Hey.” He spoke first, dropping himself onto the chair next to you.

“Hi.”

"Can I borrow your lighter?" You shoved the smaller golden plated lighter that bore your initials on across the table. "Thanks."

"Are you okay?" "Yeah. Why?"

"C'mon Eddie." You gave him a look that went ignored as he lit the cigarette in between his fingers. “You’ve looked like utter shit since this morning.”

He shrugged and slid your lighter back, finally looking at you and gave a smile that looked more like a grimace. "I've never been better."

“What's going on between you and her?"

"Who?"

"Camila."

“Camila?” He played stupid.

“‘Camila?’ Of course Camila, who else?”

He scoffed. "I'm not in love with Camila."

“I know you have been since Billy brought her to Chucks garage for the first time, Eddie.”

“Yeah and you’ve been in love with Billy since Steppenwolf in ‘68.”

Billy took your first kiss at Steppenwolf, halfway through Born to Be Wild when he turned around and kissed you. You were drunk and he was on something as well, but it was something you could not quite forget even after all this time.

You were in love with him, but made sure to keep it together for the fear of ruining the friendship you cherished with Billy.

You hadn’t known a time that Billy wasn’t in your life and you made damn sure that he would never leave it.

“Yeah.” There was no sense in hiding it. Looking up into the colored Christmas lights that you and Warren spent an hour putting up earlier, reminiscing on the last few years.

“Do you want to talk about it?” He brought the bottle of beer he was holding in his hand to his lips. Falling into a silence, you hummed along to Stumbled on Sublime playing in the distance, trying to find the right thing to say.

“It feels like a funeral, y’know? I should be so damn happy for them, celebrating their life together. A life that they’re just starting together, starting a family and that’s beautiful. A part of me should feels sad that I missed out on that with him, but I feel nothing. I’m empty inside.” You tapped your chest. “And all I want to do is just to feel something. Anything.”

Eddie reached across the table again for the lighter and lit another cigarette, taking a draw and puffing out clouds of smoke as he let the minutes fly by before speaking finally. “I was nine. I remember when we would walk to church together and she would wear these white dresses that would make her look like one of the angels that we would sing about. And now here she is, in a white dress, an angel for someone else.”

“You should put that in a song.”

“Did you have to ruin the moment?”

“It was getting too sappy for me.”

“You asked.”

“Actually, you did.”

“Yeah, but you brought it up.”

“No wonder she picked Billy over you, you’re insufferable.” You kicked his leg hard hard, fed up with his antics.

“That hurt.” He clutched his leg. “Don’t go breaking my heart twice.”

“I didn’t know you knew Camila for that long.”

“Yeah that’s because I didn’t tell anyone.”

“I’m more curious as to why she didn’t tell anyone.”

“Yeah that’s a bit weird isn’t it, since she’s the open book.”

“And you’re definitely not.”

“No,” He took another drag. “I’m not.”

Another moment in silence passed, another cigarette gone from your pack.

“I should probably go home.”

“Nah, you can just stay over.”

"You sure?"

He nodded and stood up, waiting for you to follow him into the small brown home, away from the party.

“I’m scared.” You joked.

“Don’t be.”

“Yeah, sorry that didn’t really reassure me.”

You flopped yourself onto the large bed, that was nestled in the corner of the room beside the large picture window. Spread out, you sank into the plush oversized bed, kicking off your boots leaving yourself only in the thin t-shirt and pair of shorts you had initially worn to just lounge around the house and not for a full fledged wedding. “Thank you for not having a waterbed. I don’t understand how Warren can sleep on that thing.”

Eddie smiled as he reached for the guitar, not the bass, that was at the end of the bed. “Move.”

“The word is please.”

“Please move your ass over on my bed.”

“Charming.” Nevertheless, you rolled over towards the wall, him sitting up against the wall with the guitar in his lap. He began strumming chords from a Led Zepplin song, humming quietly along. Eddie paused to light another parliament.

“You’re really talented, Eddie.”

He scoffed. You knew about the tension between Billy and him. The endless fights about chords and songs, the lyrics and their meanings. The forced switch from guitar to bass. The yearn for creativity that Billy had cut off with his ego.

Eddie was talented, just as much as anyone else in the band, but never believed it.

"Yeah, sure."

“I mean it." He looked up from the strings on the guitar meeting your eyes. He searched your features, like he was looking for the lie, the pity you knew he had subscribed to for his entire musical career and even then.

You weren’t sure what you were doing when you leaned over and kissed him. Maybe it was seeking out comfort or the drugs and alcohol that ran rampant in your system, but he tasted like the cigarette that was still lit in between his fingers and the Budweiser that he had finished not long ago.

He hadn’t reacted at all before you decided to pull back, completely sobering up in the mere seconds that your lips had touched his.

“I um…” You hastily climbed over him, careful not to touch his body in any capacity and your knee catching across the guitar strings, playing harsh chords and nicking your skinand out of his bed whilst practically slamming the half empty bottle on the nightstand. “It’s time for me to go home.”

He calmly put out the half-done cigarette in the ashtray on the stand and stood up without saying a word. Your stomach hurt at the silence, the lack of reaction from him, the tension that was so thick you cut it with a knife. All of it was so calm, so tranquil, but your anxiety was at an all time high.

“Alright. Goodnight.” You turned to leave now standing in the threshold of the open sliding glass door, teetering on the seesaw of regret and embarrassment on the stunt you just pulled. Fuck! You couldn't comprehend the situation you stupidly put yourself in. Despite wearing impractical sky high boots, you were ready to run for it. “See you when I uh see you.”

“You can’t drive like that.” He finally spoke and adrenaline pumped through you, hearing at just how close he was His voice was close, finally broke his silent voNow standing behind you,

"I'll call a cab."

"It's four a.m."

"I'll walk."

"You can just stay here.”

“No, I’m fine. Goodnight, Eddie.”

“Stop it.” His tone turned stern. The fingers that barely ghosted your wrist, tightened and spun your weak body to face his. Your heart beat pounded in your ears, his hand came to rest on your shoulder, trailing up your neck and his thumb wiped away white hot tears that you didn’t realize poured out. “You’re bleeding.”

You didn’t look down to your knee, keeping your eyes on his. “Oh.”

And then he kissed you. This time you didn’t react as his lips pressed into yours, stunned that he wasn’t screaming at you or kicking you out but instead kissing you.

You gave in, wrapping your arms around his neck, dropping both your bodies onto the bed again.

It was the first time you had felt anything since eleven that morning.

˚　　　　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.　　　　　 . ✦　　　 　˚　　　　 . ★⋆. ࿐࿔ 　　　.   　　˚　　 　　*　　 　　✦　　　.　　.　　　✦　˚ 　　　　 ˚　.˚　　　　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.　　　　 　　 　　　　 ੈ✧̣̇˳·˖✶ ✦　　

␛ to masterlist

[buffy-vanserra]

Okay ACOTAR fans who also like pop music — here's a list I put together of which main pop girls I think various characters would listen to!

Lucien  - Taylor Swift

I submit for your consideration: Lucien the Swiftie. This just makes sense to me; maybe it’s because he’s secure in his masculinity and knows how to devote himself to a woman? When it comes to Taylor lore he plays it casual, but we all know Lucien’s a gossip at heart. He. Knows. Everything. His favorite era is a toss-up between Red and Lover.

Elain - Lana Del Rey

A longtime fan who helped popularize the flower crown trend back in the day, Elain just really connects with moody ballads. Lana’s dark-fantasy-meets-old-Hollywood-glamour aesthetic syncs up so well with Elain’s post-cauldron image as the sweet, beautiful, and kind of creepy Archeron sister.

Cassian - Sabrina Carpenter

He’s working late…'cause he’s a general. Okay, this one is mostly because I just love the mental image of Cassian training to bubblegum pop. But it also feels true to character? Also, once you start listening to Please Please Please from the perspective of early-ACOSF-Cassian thinking about Nesta, you can't go back.

Nesta - Billie Eilish

When she’s not fangirling to K-pop with Gwyn and Emerie, Nesta is absolutely connecting with her inner sad girl by listening to Billie while she works through her trauma. With so many songs exploring themes of self-deprecation and existential angst, Billie’s music is giving Nesta the catharsis she needs.

Rhys - Dua Lipa

Because like Rhys, Dua always looks like she belongs on a luxury yacht in the Mediterranean. She’s cool, she’s detached, she’s drinking top shelf liquor that you can’t pronounce the name of. Rhys doesn’t listen to a lot of pop music, but he’ll go on about the production value and genre significance of Future Nostalgia.

Feyre - Lorde

Okay, I struggled with this one. Mostly because Feyre strikes me as someone who wouldn’t 1) listen to pop music or 2) have super current music tastes. If anything, she’s into Hozier and Noah Kahan. That said, back when she was human, she’d listen to Pure Heroine on repeat while hunting for dinner in the woods.

Tamlin - Olivia Rodrigo

Self-loathing and angry, Olivia’s lyrics really hit for Tamlin when he’s in his post-breakup feels and/or preparing for his next crash out. He definitely listened to Good 4 U to hype himself up before the High Lord meeting. (Also, he wishes he could go back in time to tell Rhys’s mom that her son sucks.)

Eris - Ariana Grande

Listen, Ariana is that diva, and so is Eris. Songs like Yes, And? and Thank U, Next really speak to Eris’s hyper-confident and dismissive persona, while lyrics like “I'll play the villain if you need me to” may as well be direct quotes of his. Plus, they both know a thing or two about dealing with bad press. Unapologetic and bold, Ari and Eris are cut from the same cloth.

Morrigan - Chappell Roan

I don’t care if this is too on the nose; high femme sapphic Mor is the one who taught the IC the HOT TO GO! dance. (Well, she successfully taught Cassian.) I just know she’s singing along to Good Luck, Babe thinking about her former mortal lover Andromache who left her for a man after the first war with Hybern. Meanwhile — I say this with love — given her messy track record, she's got exes all over Prythian thinking of her when they hear this song.

Azriel - Charli XCX

Azriel is brat. It doesn’t matter what season it is, he’s living that 365 party girl lifestyle. Who needs sleep anyway? Not Azriel. His shadows are everywhere — so Julia. Sympathy is a knife (called Truth Teller). I’m sure this one comes as no surprise; after that CC bonus chapter it's practically canon that Azriel would be very active on the hyperpop scene if it existed in Prythian.

[randomnessoffiction]

It's a sad song (spoken) But we sing it anyway

'Cause here’s the thing To know how it ends And still begin to sing it again As if it might turn out this time I learned that from a friend of mine

[tenebris-lux]

It’s a sad song;

It’s a sad tale;

It’s a tragedy.

It’s a sad song….

… But we sing it anyway.

‘Cause here’s the thing:

To know how it ends, and still begin to sing it again….

As if it might turn out this time.

~ Hermes. “Road to Hell (Reprise)”, Hadestown

[typingwithmyhandstied]

it's a sad song... but we sing it anyway... cause here's the thing... to know how it ends and still begin to sing it again... as if it might turn out this time...