#''from time to time i pinch myself / because i think my girl mistakes me for someone else''

[hey-hey-j]

You were out of my league / got my heartbeat racing

If I die, don't wake me / 'cause you are more than just a dream

xxx

(I continue to be the only JohnViva champion on the internet)

[moonstruckme]

*dries tears and ignores the stinging of my hand* hi mae! I have a holiday/winter themed emt!marauders prompt if it suits you!! I was wondering if we could see the boys and reader celebrating the holidays in a cozy little cabin that happens to have a wood burning stove? I was just tending to the fire at my mum's old house and burnt the shit out of my knuckles, and I think the boys would be (want them to be) soooo sorry on my behalf and coddle me senseless 🥹

Awwww, our poor Elle <//3 I hope your burn has fully healed by now my love

cw: mention of burn but no description

emt!marauders x fem!reader ♡ 789 words

You gasp through your teeth when it happens, your body reacting before your brain can register either pain or embarrassment. Those come shortly after, one after the other, pain when you see the already reddening skin of your knuckles, embarrassment when Sirius comes to investigate what���s made that sound. 

Your boyfriend looks you over quickly, a well worn habit. His brows pinch when his eyes land on your hand. 

“Awe, baby.” He takes your wrist carefully. “What’d you do?” 

“I burnt it on the stove,” you say, shocked. “On the door.” 

Sirius coos. “Poor girl,” he murmurs, giving you a firm squeeze around the shoulders before starting to pull you towards the kitchen sink. “Come here.” 

You gasp again as he turns the cool tap on your knuckles. Sirius shushes you, drawing circles into the inside of your wrist with his thumb. After a moment the water starts to feel nice, and you relax right as James and Remus wander in to find you. 

James’ eyebrows raise when he sees you and Sirius at the sink. “You said you were making cocoa,” he says, half confounded and half already on the brink of laughter. “What’d you manage to do instead?” 

“She’s burnt herself,” Sirius replies pityingly. 

“Ohh.” James gives you his sad puppy look. Remus is frowning concernedly. “Angel, how?” 

You shrug self-consciously.  “I thought it was sort of cold in here, so I went to stoke the fire—”

James gives a little smile. “Obviously a mistake.” 

“—and I burnt my fingers on the door as it was shutting.” 

“Dove.” Remus’ sigh is a mix of exasperation and caring. He kisses the back of your head, trying to see your knuckles through the water. “How bad?” he asks Sirius. 

“Mild,” Sirius says, though his thumb is still moving over your wrist, his touch heavy with sympathy. “Might still blister, though. Think they have a first aid kit here?”

“I’ll check.” Remus kisses your head again before he goes. 

You appraise your hand, the stinging lessened under the flow of the tap. “I don’t think it’s really terrible,” you say. 

“No” —Sirius wraps an arm around your waist, squeezing— “it isn’t, baby. Probably still hurts, though, yeah?” 

You frown, and he coos, doting. His lips press warmly to your shoulder. 

“Let’s see if we can get it warm in here like you wanted,” says James, bending in front of the large iron stove. He picks up the poker, opening the small door and prodding at the logs. As he does, he glances at the temperature gauge on the side. “Christ, lovie. It’s already at 400, how much hotter do you want it to be?” 

“It is?” You squint, trying to read it from where you are. “Oh, that is a hot fire.” 

“Is it now?” Remus asks as he comes back in with a roll of bandages and a bottle of clear gel. “You wouldn’t be referring to the fire you burnt yourself with, would you?” 

Your face heats at the teasing in his voice. “I didn’t burn myself with the fire.” 

“No, but the heat of the fire does actually affect the heat of the metal around it. Or so I’ve heard.” 

“Be nice to her,” Sirius protests on your behalf. He scrubs his hand up and down your side comfortingly. “She’s hurt. And it could have happened to anyone, that thing is evil.” 

“You only think that because you can’t use it either,” James taunts, referring to every time in the past few days Sirius has also narrowly avoided burning himself on the hot stove that heats your rented cabin. “You two are disasters in solidarity.” 

Sirius’ mouth drops open. “What did he just call us?” he stage whispers near your ear. 

When you chuckle, his lips quirk. 

To their credit, James and Remus both revert to their usual sweetness as they spread aloe over your burn and wrap it with careful touches. Remus even places a kiss on the other side of your fingers, seemingly under the hope its healing powers will seep through. Sirius remains your most devout supporter, tutting and kissing whatever spare inch of you he can find anytime he so much as suspects something might hurt. 

“Do you need to take some painkillers, babylove?” he asks once they’ve finished up. 

You press your lips into a reassuring smile. “That’s okay,” you tell him fondly. “It’s not so bad.”��

Sirius pouts. “Do you want some painkillers, though?” Your silence speaks for you, and he makes for the bathroom. Remus sighs, holding your head still to kiss your hair and mumbling something about one or the other of you being a terrible enabler before going to get you some water to take your painkillers with.

[porcelainseashore]

They Don't Make Them Like Her Anymore - VTM Bloodlines 20th Anniversary

Commissioned art by @medeaft

Author's Note: I wrote this to celebrate the 20th anniversary of Vampire: The Masquerade – Bloodlines and for a Gallery Noir server event by @vampemoqueen and @bigswordenergy.

Step into the shoes of our favorite sick freak, Vandal Cleaver, as he ruminates on the recent happenings in his life. Pliers and blowtorch included. Terms and conditions apply.

Content Warnings: Violence, torture, self-harm, body horror, mild gore, mild sexual content, obsessive behavior, blood bond, Hannah Glazer and Therese Voerman mentions, murder.

Hannah, Hannah… oh, Hannah. They don’t make them like her anymore, do they? It was sad actually—tragic—well no more tragic than another dead hooker found in a soulless apartment Downtown. Nothing that would make the headlines, not even worthy of a back page obituary in the local paper. Heh, I may be a sap for saying this, but she was good enough for me.

You see, they don’t make them like her anymore. No shit. The new girl? She can’t quite do the job like Hannah did, but since when were beggars choosers? Yeah, I know my place in the pecking order. At least she has the stomach for what I request of her. Doesn’t outright scream, “You fucking freak!” in my face, leaving me high and dry. I need my fix afterall, like the rest of you… Hiding dirty little secrets to dig out between your sorry sack of bones with a scalpel—do you know what a skilled hand can do with a scalpel? Have you ever run your finger across the edge of a blade? Any blade—come on, don’t lie to me now, we’re friends, aren’t we? Everyone’s done it once in their life, lost their innocence as blood blooms from the vulvic slit like a bouquet of roses. Sometimes it gushes like a torrent, depending on how deep you sliced. Shh, it’s okay to get carried away. Your secret’s safe with me.

Anyway, she does as I ask, like a good enough girl, then pukes her guts out—politely—in the bathroom next door. I know, because I hear it. Her chest concave and hollowed, heaving, organ crushing against organ as she squeezes her lungs, gagging on saliva and air. They don’t make them like her anymore, you get what I’m saying?

Earlier, I watched as the flimsy fabric of my skin peeled away, acid pink flesh melting from bone, and the charred layers curling under the blue flame like burning plastic. What remains blisters and festers. I’ve done it so many times I think all that can be salvaged from me are deadened nerves and an empty husk. I like being empty though. Sprawled out on the floor, naked and clean as a newborn while the world around me spins in circles. For a moment, everything feels attainable and unattainable. 

My queen… queen of all queens—

And just like that, it’s gone. I’m left with the chick who has a blowtorch in one hand and her nose in the other, pinching it as though the fumes are toxic. Her hands are always trembling, like an addle-brained patient, maybe because I don’t know whether I’m laughing or screaming half of the time.

My body is already mending at twice the speed when she brings out the pliers. I am a god and a shitty mistake all in one—not quite like the bitch goddess who owns me, but almost. Give it another hundred years, and I’ll be standing in this exact room, cutting myself open with my bare hands, alive and kicking to see the process. Imagine tucking my fingers under the sagging flaps, flaying skin from tissue as I pull it apart. Wet, stinking clumps of flesh and its sinewy tendons will stick between my nails, overstaying their welcome, yet impossible to scrub out. And that smell—mmm, that smell! A putrid, cloying tang of filthy pennies, assaulting my senses like a hammer to the head. I want to untangle my entrails like the wires in my brain that got crossed somewhere, just to check and see if they’re the same as everyone else.

Oh, so the new girl needs a bit of encouragement, does she? Lingering there slack-jawed and taking her sweet time. The missus—no, I mean, Hannah never needed to be told twice. Deep down, I think she even enjoyed it, the sick fuck. They don’t make them like her—

“Do it,” I hiss, saliva drooling from my lips like a rabid dog.

I hear bones snapping before the pain hits me, rattling my teeth as an excruciating jolt shoots up my arm. For a split second, I’m blinded by a searing white light. My thumb is dangling at an awkward angle and I must be howling, because the look on that girl’s face… well, what wouldn’t I give to have a picture as a keepsake? Frame it up on the wall like a goddamn Picasso.

Sometimes I feel the hairy legs of spiders skittering around my skull. It tickles like the high strings of a violin being plucked—faintly, daintily, as if it were never there. Sometimes I say things, but my words aren’t my own. And it’s happening right now. The girl before me is no longer a girl, but the queen bitch herself.

“Therese,” I weep and moan. It’s lewd and urgent like a fever prayer falling from my lips. I swear I could cum from her name alone, and I hate myself for it.

“What did you just call me?”

Therese in body and blood, spirit and flesh. Therese in all her unbearable glory. The cold metal clamps down on my trigger finger and her grin is so wicked I can only grovel and lick the dirt off her boots. She’s inside of me. When I hurt myself, she hurts too, and I enjoy it.

“Yes, please! Oh, mistress, oh fuck—”

My eyes shut as I throw my head back, mouth in the shape of an “O” that’s simply ridiculous. I try not to imagine how it looks like one of those snuff tape suckers in post-coital, or should I say, post-feast bliss. Disgusting and vile. I remember mocking them with Phil as I forced him to watch every single Death Mask film in that dingy basement of the Santa Monica Clinic.

When I come to, my balls are no longer heavy and aching, like an oppressive, shameful need. Semen trickles down my leg, pooling in my pants as though I wet myself. It smells of rotting fish and I’m trying not to cry. I wish it were the Nectar of the Gods instead.

A flash of anger rears up in my chest and I tear my eyes open. Therese—no, the new girl lies like a crumpled doll on the floor, mouth agape in that stupid “O.” Good enough like a pair of single-use gloves to dispose of in the trash without a second thought. Except, I used mine again and again. What’s the point if they break apart so easily? They don’t make them—

I yank her face towards me. The whites of her eyes loll back as I squash the fat of her cheeks within my bloodied hand, and her lips mime a fish sucking in breath.

“Tell me I’m good enough! Say it!” something that sounds more akin to a pig squealing explodes like a burst tap.

The stumps of my fingers move her mouth like a ventriloquist, but she says nothing. Blood smears across her dull skin. She doesn’t wake up. That can only mean one thing: useless. They don’t—

I let her body fall to the ground with a thud. Whipping a phone out from my back pocket, what’s left of my fingers fly over the keypad, punching in a line I’ve rehearsed a thousand times.

“A special order for the mistress.”

Tears cloud my eyes as I hear my quivering breath. It’s shallow and erratic. I still can’t tell if I’m laughing or crying half of the time.

Dividers by @diableriedoll

[bueckerrss]

notions - azzi fudd

summary𞠬: your relationship with azzi has been amazing. but is it too good to be true?

warnings: arguments, angst, heartbreak, mentions of y/n, toxic! azzi. many time skips, kinda rushed. bad writing (?)

pairing: x reader

tags: @patscorner @pbueckerslover @h34rtsformilli @cosmopretty @st4rrzynight @xxloveralways14 @authentic-girl03 @paigebuxkets @alaninavae @sophswbb

masterlist | taglist

LOOKING AT HER i knew i had lost the battle. she left without looking back, i looked up as i tried to swallow my tears. she walked away, like she didn’t just break my heart.

that was it… all along it was just a game for her. i played the fool, letting my guard down too soon.

-

“i was wondering if you would like to go out with me?” she smiled softly a little pink tint on her cheeks as she looked around.

i stood there shocked before i nodded my head yes, i hugged her with a smile on my face, “here these are for you” she said handling me a small buque of flowers but not any flowers, my favorite flowers.

“thank you!” i said taking it my smile getting bigger as i took it, “you really didn’t have too!” i said “no, i wanted to” she said “come in!” i said opening my door more for her to walk in. as she walked in she sat down on the couch frantically typing on her phone before i spoke “would you like any water or anything?”

“a water would be fine” she replied not looking up from her phone, i came back with a cup of water “here you go” i said smiling “thanks” she said taking the cup but not looking up.

-

“are you seriously accusing me of cheating?! why would you think that? shes just a friend y/n!” a drunk azzi argued “the way she was looking at you did not seem like it!” i argued back trying to hold back tears, not of sadness but of anger. “great now you’re crying! jesus fuck y/n!” she said pinching her nose bridge. “you know what call me when you’re sober.” i said walking away from her.

as i walked down the streets the cold november breeze made my face flush more red than i already was, i took deep breaths trying to calm myself down, she’ll come looking for me i know she will…

five seconds turned into five minutes and five minutes turned into five hours… i did other things to try and keep myself from calling her.

i shut my phone off slamming it down on the nightstand trying to get some sleep. the bedroom door slowly opened as azzi stumbled over to the bed and leaning over to plant a kiss on my cheek “i’m sorry baby” she whispered into my shoulder and lazily planted a kiss on it before going to sleep.

a feeling in my stomach was telling me she was not apologizing about the situation..

-

“flowers for the most beautiful woman ever” said azzi as she walked in to the living room “what, why did you get me flowers?” i said putting down my laptop and grabbing them, “just because flowers?” she smiled softly i opened my mouth to say something before her phone went off “who is it?” i asked trying to see the contact name before she pulled it away “oh it’s paige, i’ll be back” she said walking away.

after a few minutes she comes back, “sorry beautiful but i have to go they scheduled a last minute practice, i’ll text you when i can” she quickly said before grabbing her keys and jetting out the door. ‘follow her’ something in me said i held back but before i knew it i was in my car following her to someone’s house.

i've never been here, i don’t recognize it.

i was outside waiting for forty minutes before azzi came out looking happier than when she walked in, hair slightly messy a shorter girl following behind her before they kissed goodbye, i quickly snapped a few pictures before i drove off. ‘just a friend my ass!’ i thought as i drove back home.

argument after argument came out of the situation.

i knew that these destructive tendencies were not going to go away, it was like a war every day a never ending cycle. something i couldn’t brush off, something telling me to fight for this relationship.

slowly, i realized my mistake, she was just playing me. toying with my emotions, making me play a fool just to feel her love.

i should’ve known but i was ignorant thinking everything would change for the better, soon disappointment washed away my thoughts of a better relationship.

she played games all the time, and i always fell into her trap.

[wizzdot]

The Patron Saint of One Way Trips

Ch25

Description: Fluff Fluff Fluff

*Laika's POV*

Johnny announces that he has ordered a takeaway. He and Kyle leave the kitchen shouting something to John about car keys and collecting it - they said they'd be twenty or so minutes. I settle onto the sofa, trying to relax myself from today's events. I close my eyes and take some deep breaths.

My phone, long forgotten in my pocket, dings. It's a message from an unknown number.

Hello Amorcito,

Alejo and I shipped your things a couple of days ago. They should arrive tomorrow.

Please, if you ever need somewhere, know that you are always welcome in Las Almas.

I hope your Alphas come to their senses soon. You belong with them even if you do not see it yet.

-Rudy x

I read the message, smiling with teary eyes. I'd never felt so.. cared for.

"What're you crying about?" Simon asks in that gruff voice of his.

"Oh" I sniff "it's nothing.. just a text from Rodolfo.. they shipped our stuff. He says it'll be here tomorrow.."

He nods with narrowed eyes "and that made you cry because..." he tilts his head, confused.

I can't help but giggle at his lack of social skills.. I just turn my phone around to him so he can read the text himself.

"You're not fuckin' going back to Las Almas, love.." he grumbles.

"No, I - I" I gulp, nervous about what I'm about to say "I think I want to stay here.. until you guys get sick of me, that is.. I know I'm a lot to deal with"

He rolls his eyes, throwing himself heavily on the sofa beside me. He grabs me around the waist, easily dragging me over his lap, so that I'm sat sideways over his huge thighs.

I squeal at the sudden shift and the blast of Alpha scent I get due to being so close to him.

"Stop doubting yourself so much. I did the same when I first joined. Wasted months pushing them away, love.. don't make the same mistake.."

"But it's hard.. I don't mean it.." - "I know you don't, just let us prove to you that we want you here, yeah?"

I gulp again and nod, sending a soft smile his way.

"Uhm.. Simon..?" I ask, thinking that now is as good a time as any to ask the question that had been burning in the back of my mind all day.

"What is it, little bird..?" - "How.. How much do you know about Omegas.. and heats..?" - "Enough.. why, what's botherin' you?"

"I - I thought my heat would last longer.. what if I'm damaged..?"

"Wish ya' wouldn't think like that.. Your heat technically started when you went feral because of that fuckin' Graves wanker.. musta' lasted a coupla' days, at least.."

"But.. why could you smell me, when the others couldn't.. and do I still smell..?"

"You still smell, don't have to worry about that, sweet girl" he purrs, making a point to sniff into my neck, making me giggle and push against him.

"And.. the others could still smell you, love.. but it wasn't as strong. I must have some resistance to the blockers or whatever fuckin' drugs the Russians put you on. Could always smell you just fine. It was bitter to begin with, because you were so stressed and scared.. but it's changed... I can tell it's leavin' your system.. not long now and you'll be clean as a whistle.." he jokes, nudging me gently.

"Do- do I smell nice..?" I ask, self consciously ..

He looks at me as if I'd grown two heads. "Are you havin' a fuckin' laugh? Can't you see how we all react to you? And that's us holdin' back.. Johnny was droolin' and humpin' you for fuck sake, love"

I hide in his neck, giggling. "You're not as scary as you try to pretend to be, Lieutenant.." I whisper into his ear.

He growls softly and pinches me in my waist softly, causing me to jolt and yelp in surprise, giggling against him louder now.

"Behave, girl.." he grumbles at me. I relax against him and wait for the food to arrive. I must doze off momentarily, because when I wake to the sound of Johnny and Kyle arriving back, I can feel Simon tracing shapes on my back, softly while scratching my scalp. He had taken his gloves off. I relax into him, so that he doesn't know that I'm awake. I feel him move slightly and whisper shout to Johnny and Kyle to shut the fuck up. I can't help the little giggle that I let out.

"Awkt, the little lass was havin' you on, Si.. she wisnae even sleepin'! Just wanted you to keep scratchin' her.. You like bein' petted like a little kitten then, do ya lass?"

I blush and hide from them, whining into Simon's neck tiredly.

"Johnny, piss off and go find Cap.. he'll be in his office. Kyle, get the food ready would ya?"

"On it, LT" Kyle replies, quickly leaning over the arm of the sofa to place a kiss on my forehead then looking to Simon, holding me so softly, before giving him a quick kiss on the top of his masked head as well.

A couple of minutes later, Johnny and John return.

I shuffle off of Simon's lap, much to his disapproval. I settle in between his and John's thick thighs.

"You okay, gorgeous..?" John asks me. I blush and nod. He curls a large arm around my shoulder and pulls me closer.

"Was on the phone to Alejandro.. he says your stuff should be arriving tomorrow" - "I know.. Rudy told me.." I giggle.

He furrows his brow. "How did Rudy tell you, Love.. I've just found out myself..?" - "He text me" I hold up my phone and show him the message.

He takes the phone and reads the message grumbling the words aloud as he reads.

"Nice that he messaged you and all, Love. But you ain't going back to Las Almas.." he says lowly.

"Already told her that, Cap" Ghost huffs from my other side.

"Good thing we came to our senses then, eh, Simon?"

"What does the text say? I'm confused.." Kyle shouts over from the other side of the kitchen.

"Aye, let's see it Lass.."

I stand up and walk towards the two sergeants, holding my phone out for them to read.

Johnny reads the message quickly, plucking the phone from my hands and placing it on the counter, before grabbing me and lifting me into his arms.

"No fuckin' way.. staying with us now, Lass.. Cap, you need to get a move on and bite a claim into her pretty wee neck.. don't want her wanderin' off to a new pack.." he jokes, licking and nipping at my scent glands, cheekily.

"Johnny!" I whine, giggling. "What, Lass? We'll mark you up real good. All four of us.. I think I'll put my mark rigghhtttt..." - he nips dangerously hard into the valley between my collarbone and shoulder - "HERE!"

I yelp and moan in pleasure. He just laughs at my reaction, smug in the knowledge that he was turning me on.

"Johnny, stop teasing the poor girl" John warns him, standing from the sofa and making his way over towards us.

Johnny slowly lowers me back to the ground, planting another quick kiss to my cheek.

I feel John's big, burly arms wrap around me from behind.

"Seems like I'm the last one to get my hands on you, Love.." he growls into my ear - "Y-you've been busy.." I whisper, overwhelmed by all of the attention.

"Aye, been busy but I've managed to get us a few days off.. we're shippin' out again next week, but until then, we're on leave" he grumbles to the other Alphas who all sound pleased.

He massages my shoulders, still pressed up against my back. I lean into him, loving how warm and safe he felt.

"I thought we could take our girl out, tomorrow. Shopping and a meal.. what do we think?" he asks.

The others all agree, I turn in his arms and whisper "I'd like that, Alpha.."

"Means I'll finally get to spend some time with you. Been jealous watchin' these prats get to play with you while I've been working. Drives me fucking mad"

I lean into him, standing as tall as I can, and press a sweet kiss to the corner of his mouth. He purrs, before suddenly showing his Alpha side.

"And as for marking you up, Love.." he pulls my hair away from my neck, and studies where Johnny had left small marks, and the slightly darker one where he had bitten, not enough to break skin..

"I reckon mine will sit right here.." he circles the spot on my neck, where he has chosen to mark me, with the soft pads of his thumb, leaning down to kiss softly on it.

"But needs to be done properly.. not just gonna bite into you like a mutt.." he grumbles.

"Alpha.." I whine.

"Shh, all in good time, sweet heart.. all in good time"

"C'mon now, time to eat".

He steps away from me and I glance at the others in the room.

They were all staring at the scene before them, at how their pack Alpha had teased me.

I stumble back to the sofa and curl up to Simon, whining and whimpering. Simon whispers to me "Won't be long, love. Don't worry".

[starlightsuffered]

Position

Info - hard Dom Timmy, overstimulation, fingering, begging, crying during sex, hook up, teasing, degrading language

"Please," | gasped.

"What do you want?" Timothée cooed in my ear.

"C-cock," | moaned. I was twitching. I knew better than to pull away completely, but I was so desperately overstimulated.

"Even still? You still want my cock after how many times you've come?" He asked tauntingly. He pinched my clit between two agile fingers.

"Timothée," | squealed. Sweat dripped down my temples. My hips jerked forward. My legs were jelly and pussy was sopping.

I'd come to him, saying that l'd made a mistake when l'd broken things off with him. He had smirked. He kissed me and teased until I was a puddle of need.

He'd made me beg for his cock. My knees were bruised from crawling around. I'd pawed at his crotch where his pants were tented. He laughed at my desperation.

He'd given me some pleasure eventually. He'd made me strip down naked and take his long fingers doing wonderfully dirty things to me. I was on orgasm four and I could barely form coherent thoughts.

"Mmmm," he groaned as he kissed down my neck. His rock hard dick was rubbing against my ass.

"You're just such a cock slut you still want to be stuffed full. You still want me to use you even though you're a squirming mess. I think you could barely take my dick right now without crying from overstimulation, and yet you still request it."

"You were never this mean," I gasped out. I couldn't control my breathing as I heard his zipper. My lust was slick and running down my thighs. I couldn't stay still as my legs shook. Even a slight movement of the air drove me insane. I was so insanely sensitive.

"You're different," I whined as his head traced my entrance. I grabbed onto the wall to stable myself.

"And you'll take it," he chuckled darkly. "You're addicted because of what my dick did. Admit it, that's what you really missed."

"Oh, fuck! Oh!" I whimpered as he grabbed one of my legs and lifted it. He grunted in pleasure as he smugly filled me with his cock. He was a snug fit even with how wet I was.

I let out a keen that was high pitched and submissive. I was heaving as I pressed my forehead against the wall and adjusted to him again.

"F-fuck."

"Do you like this position sweet heart?" He whispered in my ear. He began to thrust and all thoughts and ability to answer left me.

I was filled over and over again. His length hit my g spot at a steady rhythm. He was right, tears spilled from my eyes as my body convulsed. I was completely overwhelmed.

"Good girl," he purred as he tightened his grip on my body so I couldn't get away.

[revenant-coining]

Timewonderlyricen

(pt: Timewonderlyricen /end pt)

Timewonderlyricen; a type of tertiary attraction (lyricen attraction (link)) best described as the lyrics: “From time to time I pinch myself/Because I think my girl mistakes me for somebody else/And every time she takes my hand/All the wonders that remain become a simple fact” from the song “Out of My League” by Fitz and The Tantrums!

etymology; time, wonder, lyricen

for cam!

tagging; @radiomogai, @tertiary-attraction-archive

[burninlovebutler]

29 - Be My Mistake* // Forever Winter Series

pairing: austin x fem!oc | word count: 5.9k-ish

summary: austin finds himself caught up in a whirlwind love affair with his chosen distraction. as his addiction worsens, the rose colored glasses begin to fog & his grip on control begins to wane.

warnings/notes: aspen lol, agitated!austin, smut, p n v (unprotected), pulling out ~toaster strudel vibes~, fluffy?, exchange of fun words, hints at SA (past, vague), substance use (weed, pills), addiction, short time skips, inherently saaaad u know the drill, plsss don’t be mad at me🫣, 18+ ONLY MDNI

previous chapter -> 28 - Temporary Fix*

see masterlist for chapter log + all other fics

vibes -> fw playlist❄️

And be my mistake, then turn out the light She bought me those jeans, the ones you like

I don't want to hug, I just want to sleep The smell of your hair, reminds me of her feet

You do make me hard, but she makes me weak

-AUSTIN-

I pressed my back against my front door to click it closed and let out a heavy sigh. My middle finger and thumb pinched the bridge of my nose trying to alleviate the tension headache building behind my skull.

What the fuck had I just done?

I did what I set out to do. What I agreed to do.

If I wanted to keep my dirty little secret from her, I needed to follow through. I just didn’t think it would hurt this much – I didn’t think I’d hurt her that much. But the band aid was ripped off and I didn’t want to think of what would come next. The mere idea of losing her - my best friend – it was too much. I needed to numb it out.

Using my right foot, I kicked myself off the door and mentally prepared myself for what I was about to walk into.

“What the fuck was that about?” Spreading my arms out in exasperation when I walked back to Aspen in my bedroom. “I thought we were on the same page.”

“We are.” She confirmed, dropping her arms to her sides. “I don’t care who you fuck, but it just pissed me off how hypocritical she was being. It’s fucked up of her to show up here jealous over you, when she’s the one with a boyfriend.”

“Did what she say upset you?” I asked, ignoring her accusation of Elsie being jealous.

“The fact that you ditched me at the party to hook up with your best friend then called me afterwards?” Her voice not nearly as pissed as you’d think. “Yeah, that’s pretty fucking shitty Austin. But just as basic decency – not because I'm in love with you.”

“Look – you’re right. I’m sorry. It was a shitty thing to do.” I stepped towards her and took her hands into my own. “Okay? I’m sorry. Can we just forget this happened?”

Chocolate brown eyes glanced up at me, anger flowed into playfulness, “Sure Aus.” She cooed with a wide smile.

The nickname sprung another tinge of pain in my stomach, nicknames were something only Elsie was ever allowed to use. Hearing another girl say them felt forbidden, as if it was some vile curse word you would only hear in snuff films.

“You’re not gonna chase after her?” She questioned, unfazed, crossing the floor to pluck an orange pill bottle from my nightstand.

“What?” I replied, surprised that she’d ask such a thing. I’d never met a girl like her, nothing seemed to really bother her. She must’ve been just as fucked up as me.

“Elsie? The girl that just ran out of your apartment?” She stated as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. She scanned the pill bottle she picked up, then set it down for another one.

I wanted to run after her, I really fucking did. My insides felt like they were being ripped to pieces, like I ran my intestines through a paper shredder. But I accomplished exactly what I set out to do – push her away.  “No, why would I do that?” I made my way over to her, curious as to what she was analyzing.

“Because you’re in love with her.” The words left her mouth effortlessly, not a hesitation, stutter, or hiccup. She twisted the white cap off the prescription bottle with a crack and poured two white bar-shaped pills from the container. She lifted her hand with an offer, “Want one?”

It took a moment to wrap my head around what she just said. She spoke it with such conviction, like it was a well-known fact. Like it was as obvious as the sky being blue or grass being green. A terrifying thumping pit fell into my chest, similar to one you’d get as a kid when you were on the verge of getting caught misbehaving. I shook my head with a small laugh, waving away the mere suggestion, “I’m not in love with her.”

“Whatever you say buddy.” She shrugged, taking a bar and snapping it in half with her front teeth, swallowing it dry, offering me the other half again. “If you’re not in love with her, then she’s definitely in love with you.”

I rolled my eyes at her and stole the half pill, using an overnight glass of water to swig it down. “She’s not in love with me, you must still be high.”

She let out a chuckle at my words, “See? You can’t even say her name.”

“I’m not-” I mentally winced at the involuntary stutter and let out an exhausted sigh. “I’m not in love with Elsie”

She gave me a skeptical ‘sure’ look with raised brows, “Mhm, whatever ya say babe.” Plopping on the bed, dangling her feet off the edge. “Just means I get ya for a bit longer.” Her full lips curled into a content grin.

My first instinct was to ask what exactly that meant, but I didn’t want to prolong the unnecessary conversation.

“Wait a minute,” Her brows furrowed, some realization clicking in her head and picked up another pill bottle, reading it once more. A booming laugh erupted from her, “Your last name is Butler?”

My eyes rolled again already knowing what was coming, “C’mon get it out of your system.”

She kicked her legs and fell back onto the bed, “You gonna fetch me dinner Butler?”

“Yep.” I nodded and sucked my teeth, hearing the same thing I’ve heard my whole life. “Mhm, let it out.”

“What about my laundry? You better separate my lights from darks.” She giggled, deep dimples denting her cheeks.

“Alright alright,” I readjusted on the bed, flipping to be on top of her, “That’s quite enough don’t ya think?” Pinning her arms at each side of her head, she reflexively tugged her head to the side to yank the blonde strands I had landed on.

She continued to laugh, “Ya know, an act like this might get ya fired.”

“Oh my god, shut up.” Her laughter was contagious, and I couldn’t help but crack a smile.

She stilled beneath me, her giggles fading, and hazelnut eyes lined with long lashes blinked up at me softly, “Make me.”

My gaze lingered on her. She was so beautiful when she was completely stripped down like she was then. Her features were so soft and feminine, gentle slopes for cheekbones adorned with deep valley dimples and a button nose. If she wore less glittery makeup and didn’t want to dye her hair pink, she could easily be a Victoria’s Secret model.

“You’re so pretty, you know that?” I voiced my thoughts.

She blushed and waved me away, “Oh shut up.” She giggled.

“Make me.” I turned the command back on her like some sort of power game.

She took the bait, taking my face in her delicate hands, seemingly analyzing my face the way I did hers. She drew her thumb across my cheekbone before pulling me down into a kiss. The more I kissed her, the less guilty I felt. Though, I wasn’t sure I’d ever not have some inexplicable guilt looming in the background.

Her fingers tangled into my wavy locks that were in desperate need of a trim and took the initiative of swiping her tongue across my bottom lip for entrance. My fingertips grazed under her thighs bringing them around my hips as our tongues danced together. She locked her legs around me pulling me against her core which I forgot was still only covered with lacy panties. I pulled from her lips and dropped my head into the curve of her neck to let out a low groan from the friction against my hardening cock. My hands trailed up under the borrowed shirt along her sides and he whined softly, “Aus.”

I drew away to look at her when she covered her face with her arm shyly, a stark contrast to her usually confident sex appeal. “Hey,” I said softly, trailing my fingers up her sides, “What’s wrong? You okay?”

She moved her wrist to cover her forehead, blush feathered across her cheeks. “Yeah… I don’t know, I don’t think I’m high yet.”

“Oh, um,” I pulled my lip between my teeth, “Well we can stop if you want or I don’t really…”

“No no, it’s okay.” Her smile pulled a little too tight, “It’s okay, we can keep going.”

Something about this scene gave a sort of, déjà vu moment. It reminded me of that New Year’s Eve night with Elsie, where she didn’t want me to take off her dress but told me to anyway, if that’s what I wanted. But this was a side of Aspen I’d never seen, she was never shy with sex or with her body for that matter. “Did I do something wrong? I really didn’t mean to upset you.” My hand found her thigh and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

“No, no you didn’t. I just – I don’t know, it’s hard for me to um,” She cleared her throat, “Sex is hard for me when I’m sober. I just,” She pressed her lips together and diverted her eyes, “It’s- actually, don’t worry about it, it’s not a big deal.” Waving away the topic, her grin wide but her eyes dim.

“No, no because it’s obviously a big deal ‘Pen, what’s wrong?”

She propped herself up on her elbows, blonde strands cascading down her shoulder, “It’s really not a big deal we can just continue, it’s fine.” Her tone light and rather dismissive.

“’Pen there’s obviously something wrong I’m not just gonna keep going if you’re uncomfortable. You can tell me, okay?” I brought my hand to her face and gently placing a knuckle beneath her chin. “I wanna know so I can be more careful.”

Aspen exhaled deeply, “The guys at work can sometimes be… forceful.” Her eyes trailed off, focusing on the wall behind me. “And some of them don’t like the word no.” She stated quietly before reaching my eyes again, “It can be kind of triggering? I guess? To do stuff when I’m sober. Being high really helps with that.”

It took me longer than it should’ve for me to really understand what she was saying. It made me so sad for her. Since I was always Elsie’s plus-one to parties, clubs or bars, I’d seen my fair share of inappropriate bullshit from random men. They’d cross boundaries with her, even right in front of me, even when most people would just assume that I was her boyfriend. Of course a literal strip club would be worse, I just never thought of it that way. She never complained about work or any of her clients. I felt like an asshole for it not even crossing my mind. “Oh my god Aspen,” I felt myself involuntarily loosen my grip on her thigh, “I’m so sorry, I never meant to make you feel like that I just I didn’t I don’t-”

She giggled, “Sh sh.” Placing a finger on my rambling lips, “It’s not you, you never make me feel like that.” She said quietly, “It’s okay,” Moving her hand from my lips to cup my cheek, “I feel safe with you.” Her eyes soft and genuine. “I will let you know if I’m having a bad time, okay?”

I nodded, suppressing the urge to ask her once again if she was sure, “Okay, sounds good.” I leaned down and pressed my forehead against hers. “I would never do anything like that to you. I promise. Never ever.”

She folded her top lip over her bottom, “I know. I believe you.” Then dragged her thumb over my cheekbone. “You’ve got such a beautiful soul, you know that?” Her voice was so quiet, barely loud enough for me to hear her. “You’re really beautiful on the outside too.”

Her words took me by surprise, it’s not every day that a guy gets a compliment like that. I’d never had anyone tell me they think I’m beautiful, nonetheless my fucking soul? There was a small, unexpected flutter in my stomach. “Well, thank you.” I replied softly, pressing my lips to hers, “You-” I began but she cut me off with a deeper kiss.

I pulled away again to return the compliment, but she promptly placed two fingers against my lips before I could speak, “You don’t need to say anything back.” Her chestnut brown eyes locked with mine and her voice stern beneath a slight tremble. “When I say things to you, it’s because I mean them – not because I hope you’ll say them back.”

Her words loomed a heaviness that my increasing high couldn’t begin to comprehend. As soon as I nodded, she reeled me back into the kiss, deepening it almost immediately. She wrapped her legs around my hips and drew me down against her core. She disconnected from the kiss, “Please fuck me.”

“You’re gonna drive me insane.” I muttered under my breath before dropping my head in her neck, leaving sloppy kisses behind. I tugged her skin into my mouth with a suck as I began rutting my hips against her heat. She let out small moans every time my cock would roll up against her clit. She dug her nails into my back, “Fuck, Austin, I need you to fuck me.” She mewled.

I continued leaving messy kisses on her neck, focusing one on her sweet spot just below her ear, “I want you to beg for it.” I muttered against her neck and dug my nails into her hips.

“Austin please, please.” She whined, “Fuck, I need your cock so fucking bad.”

My cock twitched at her words, it was almost painful how hard I was. I couldn’t take it anymore, I needed her. I pulled back from her enough to slip my shorts off, letting my cock spring free. Aspen’s eyes tracked my member as she trailed her hand down and slipped beneath her panties, beginning to rub her clit.

The sight of her was driving me crazy. I precariously pushed her panties to the side and slid my tip up through her deliciously wet folds before gradually dipping into her entrance. The minute she felt me inside her, she let out a loud gasp. I slid into her slowly, inch by inch, just to torture her. I let out a groan once I felt myself reach the deepest part of her, “God, you’re so fucking tight.”

The hand that wasn’t working on her clit pushed open the button down she’d borrowed from me, revealing her lace covered breasts. She began kneading her right tit and playing with her hardened nipple over the sheer noir lace.

Control was slipping through my fingers already and it was reflected in my speed. “Fuck.” I muttered, as I propped up her thighs with my hands, using them as an anchor to keep her in place as I slammed in and out of her. Moans and curses poured from her lips the faster I went and the quicker she worked on her clit. “You feel so fucking good.” I groaned, squeezing her thigh and fucked her faster.

“Yeah?” She chewed on her bottom lip, “I like being a cock slut for you.”

In all the time we’d been well, fucking, we’d used words like that plenty before but in light of the information she’d just given me, it made me feel almost guilty for using them. “You do?” The question came out significantly more transparent than intended.

She brought her free hand to my own that was holding up her leg, “I do.” She replied softly and gave my hand a squeeze. “I like it. You know that.” And gave a small giggle reassuring me that it was the truth.

“In that case,” I bent down to continue my work on her neck, trailing short sucking kisses up to her ear. “You like being my little cock slut huh?” I whispered and smirked when I could audibly hear her enjoy the words.

“Yours?” She squeaked quietly.

Thoughtlessly I replied, “Mine.”    

Her breathing accelerated, “Aus I’m close.” She whined, wrapping her fist in the excess sheets.

Her moans got louder as I continued to ram into her, “C’mon baby, I want you to fucking cum all over my cock.” I hummed against her neck, but I could feel her still teetering on her own ledge. I gripped her legs tight, “Be a good girl and cum for me, will you?”

It didn’t take much after that for her to reach her finish line, her back arching away from the bed sharply, “Fuck! Austin!”

I pulled myself back upright, tightening my grip on her thighs and drilled into her as she was still riding her high. The knot in my stomach was already threatening to unravel but when her walls began to contract around me, I knew I was dangerously close, “Fuck, fuck, I’m gonna cum,” It felt like I was dangling from a string that was about to snap, “Fuck, where do you want me to cum?”

“Cum on me,” She answered quickly, brushing her hair off her chest, “Please cum on me?”

“Fuck,” I slammed into her trying to hold out for as long as possible but abruptly pulled out when I felt myself about to cum, “Fuck!” I groaned, pumping my cock until ribbons of cum coated chest and stomach. I rode out my high, leaving her completely covered. “Fuck.” I breathed out, using the back of my clean hand to wipe off sweat from my forehead. “You look so fucking good covered in my cum.”

“Yeah?” She giggled, dragging a finger dangerously close to one of the patches.

“Don’t.” I warned her, with a propped brow.

She slid her finger through the puddle, then plopped it in her mouth. “Mmm.” She teased, “You should fill my mouth instead next time.”

My jaw nearly fell, “Cut that shit out or I’m gonna have to fuck you again.”

She bit down on her thumbnail with a mischievous smile, “Would that be so bad?”

-weeks later-

Aspen and I walked hazily through Manhattan, my arm slung over her shoulders, our steps synced up. It was a rare morning where we weren’t high, just remnants of weed in our system. She had all but moved into my apartment from how often she stayed over. We were on one fuck of a roll. It was so refreshing to be around someone who doesn’t hound you about your choices, someone who made those choices with you.

The blonde leaned into me as she walked, “I’ve been having so much fun with you Aus.”

‘Aus’

No matter how much fun we had, I still hated it coming out her mouth.

“Me too ‘Pen.” My arm curled her closer. “I haven’t had this much fun in a long while.”

It was the truth; I hadn’t felt happy in so long, nonetheless have fun. Probably the last time I let myself have fun was Thanksgiving with Elsie. And even then, it was so tense. But Aspen made it so easy, I didn’t have to hide shit from her or tip toe around anything. It wasn’t complicated or painful, it was just fun.

“Guess we’re just meant for each other then.” She joked, nudging into me. We were on such a high that I didn’t wanna risk having to break her heart. I liked her sure, but I wasn’t in the market for a girlfriend. I wasn’t looking to fall in love, and I liked the casual dynamic we had.

“You haven’t talked about Elsie in a while?” She stated innocently.

I let out a sigh, “Yeah I know – I haven’t spoken to her since…everything.”

She hummed, nodding, “There’s something special about her isn’t there?” Her voice was casual, not happy, sad or jealous.

“Not this again.” I rolled my eyes, “I told you we’re just friends.”

“You don’t gotta put on a show for me Austin, I can see it in your eyes when you look at her.” Not a single trace of anger in her tone. “Hell, I can see it even when I just mention her name.”

I took a moment to gather my answer. I had gone over me and Elsie’s relationship a million times in my head, but each time it was like an ever-growing equation. The more I tried to solve it the less it made sense. “It doesn’t matter,” I stated plainly, keeping my eyes focused on some skyscraper in front of us. “She doesn’t feel that way about me.”

“Sure she does. I can see that too.”

“What are you, some all-seeing oracle?” Shaking my head, “No you just don’t understand, there’s nothin’ there.”

“Austin, if there’s anything I know, it’s girls.” She let out a giggle, “And there’s definitely something there.”

“Whatever, I don’t wanna talk about it anymore. It doesn’t matter, we’re – doing whatever we’re doing.”

“Fucking.” She clarified with a playful grin.

I laughed nudging back into her, “No, I really like my time with you. It’s fun.”

“Yeah,” Her tone dropped slightly, “I’m just a lesson girl.” Her eyes fell down to the pavement.

“Huh?” Looking down at her.

“You know,” She shrugged, wrapping her cardigan tighter around her body. “I’m always that girl. The girl you have fun with but not the girl you settle down with. I’m just a lesson; a bridge to that bring-home-to-mom girl.”

The words took me by surprise, and they made me sad for her.

Maybe I could be that for her. Maybe I wanted to be that? The one that doesn’t use her as a lesson.

Or maybe I just felt guilty, seeing as I too planned on being a temporary fix. This all started as a fucked-up game of blackmail after all.

My hand trailed down her arm and tangled our fingers together. I gave her a nudge, “You’re way more than a lesson ‘Pen.” Her girl-next-door brown eyes flickered up at me, “Not to me you aren’t.” She offered a sweet smile, looking like no one ever really gave her the chance to be more than a fuck buddy.

Once back at my loft it took no time for us to go another round. We flipped over on the couch with her propped up on top of me. She bounced on my cock sending a buzzing flare across my skin.

“Fuck.” I groaned, gripping onto her hips, helping to guide her rolling motions.

Small whimpers escaped her each time the head of my member embedded into the deepest part of her core. Her full tits bounced as she rode me, but I needed more. I wrapped my arms around her midsection to keep her place as I rolled my hips up into her, reaching new depths with the angular position.

“Austin!” She cried out, taking my control and took over the riding, this time even more frantic and messy.

The heightened sensation from the weed and whatever else she gave me earlier kicked in driving me dangerously close. “Fuck - you’re gonna make me cum if you don’t slow down.” I grunted through labored breath.

She nodded and fell onto me, her face and whimpers in my neck. “I want your cum baby, cum inside me please.” She begged, her hand working quickly on her clit chasing her own orgasm. From her rapid breathing it seemed she was close too.

“Fuck fuck fuck,” I moaned out, stealing control once more with my arms keeping her in place as I hammered into her in such a heated primal manner, for a brief moment I thought I might split her in two. Her moans and speed on herself matched my own, “Fuck I’m gonna cum.” I grunted, my thrusts into her sloppy and desperate.

As I reached my climax it seemed she did too, now taking over and fucking herself on my twitching cock as it spilled seed into her. Somewhere weaved amongst our curses and moans she uttered words I didn’t expect.

“I love you.”

My eyes widened immediately, and I expected her to stop but she kept going, riding out our highs together. She rode me until I had nothing left to give her. Until she finally fell on the couch next me, breathless.

“God that never gets old,” She exhaled then glanced over me with hooded hazel eyes. “Your dick is too good.”  She joked.

I forced a smile in an attempt to act normal, “You ride me too good.” My own chest rising and falling rapidly.

She used the back of her hand to wipe off a layer of sweat from her forehead. “Dickmatized.” She chuckled.

She was pretending nothing happened. Maybe it was just the “dickmatization” – whatever the fuck that means - or the drugs that made her say what she said. Hopefully that was the case.

The words scared the shit out of me.

She stretched over behind us to pluck a half smoked blunt from and ash tray, promptly lighting the end causing a burning crackle. As she put her lips and inhaled it sizzled red at the end. Her back landed next to me again, exhaling a thick puff cloud of smoke above us.

I plucked the brown roll from her fingertips and mimicked her actions. As the puff cloud seeped from my lungs, my eyes followed the swirls of smoke. Aspen’s mention of Elsie from earlier rang like church bells in my head. God, I missed her. I missed her laugh, her smile, our jokes. Even when I was high, I’d want to bring up our inside jokes, jokes that Aspen would never understand. As fucked up as it was, I wish it was Elsie here doing this with me. She stopped smoking with me after my breakdowns and she’d never do the things Aspen and I do. Not that I’d want her to – well, I guess in a selfish way I did. But I’d never let her.

It didn’t matter what I did or didn’t want from Elsie, I ruined everything. She wouldn’t take my calls and I didn’t blame her. Once I get my shit together, I’ll make it up to her. I’ll get sober and I won’t have to hide it from her anymore, I wouldn’t have to stay away anymore. We could go back to normal. I just needed to get this out of my system, like a last hurrah. This would be it. Forever. I’ll get sober and I’ll never touch anything ever again. But right now, I had it under control, and I was just having fun.

“Hey you okay?” The blonde nudged me obviously picking up on my dissociation.

“Yeah, yeah,” I snapped out of it, sitting up a bit. “Just uh- I think I’m coming down, we got anything over there?”

She stretched back over to the side table, holding her tongue between her lips while she focused. I heard a rattle of a bottle and just the noise relieved whatever internal struggle raged inside me. “A client gave me these, but I didn’t like them.” She shrugged, handing me the orange prescription container, “They made me sick, but you might like ‘em.”

I swiped the pad of my thumb across the label, “Thomas George” letting out a chuckle, “What kinda name is Thomas George?” I squinted reading the smaller print to see what exactly she handed me. “Oxycodone.” I read quietly exhaling when I realized what I was holding. “I’ve never tried these.” Looking up at her.

“You don’t have to take it if you don’t want to. I’ve heard that shit’s strong,” She slumped next to me, “But I think we only have coke left.”

That’s the last thing I wanted to hear, so far I liked coke, but I liked pills so much better. “Fuck.” I held the bottle up to my eyeline and shook the pills, the bottle half full.

How different could it be from anything else I’ve taken? It couldn’t be that different, right?

I nodded, “Okay, I’ll be fine right?”

She grinned, tucking a strand of pink behind her ear, “I mean, if it feels good, it can’t be bad right?”

Aspen wasn’t like me – not fully at least. She did drugs for fun, she had an inclination for some and really got stuck on others. But she had some way of not getting fully addicted to anything. I didn’t know how she did it, but it was hard to keep up with her.

But I had kept up so far and I didn’t want her to catch on that I might not have the same talent her. I couldn’t have her be another Elsie, especially after what she just said to me moments ago. I could handle myself, I had it under control, and I didn’t need someone monitoring me. And I didn’t want to end my fun with Aspen prematurely.

“You sure?” I propped a brow up at her.

She shrugged, “It’s up to you babe. I won’t be able to see him for at least a week.”

Just the mention of him, even without his name boiled my blood. I furrowed my brows at her, “Wait why not?”

“O-Oh,” She faltered like I just caught her in some secret, “Um, he’s on a business trip!” Her annunciation peaking up indicating there was something she was hiding.

“I know you’re lying, what is it?”

“I-I well u-um-“ She stuttered.

“Spit it out Aspen!” My voice louder and harsher than I intended, the Xanax comedown was beginning to hit me.

She flinched, “Um, they went on vacation.”

My brows lowered and I felt my pulse rising, “Vacation?”

“Um, yeah it’s uh-“ She looked down playing with her thumbs, “It’s their one year.”

I clenched my jaw, “And where did they go?”

“Uh- I think they went to Cabo?” She winced pulling back from me.

“Cabo!” My voice booming throughout the loft, and I could feel a vein pulse in my forehead.

She shuddered, “I’m sorry, I-I didn’t wanna tell you. I knew it’d upset you.”

Letting out a sigh, I squeezed my eyes shut. “I’m sorry ‘Pen.” Softening my tone, “I didn’t mean to yell like that. I’m coming down, okay?”

“It’s okay. I understand, I get like that too.” She kept her eyes down, playing with a stray thread on a pillow.

“Hey,” I picked her chin up to catch her eyes, “I really am sorry. I didn’t mean it. I don’t care about Cabo, I’m just pissed we have to wait for him to get back.” Lying straight through my teeth.

She relaxed her tensed body, “I can try to get something from the girls at work?”

“I’d really appreciate that.” The panic of our low stock and the vision of them on vacation began to overtake my mind. I needed to get it the fuck out. “You got water over there?” I winced at the thumping sound of my new upstairs neighbors, only worsening the pounding in my head.

She nodded and reached over, holding a cold glass of water for me. “Thanks.” Cranking the cap off the bottle with one hand and dropping a white pill in the palm of my hand. I tossed the pill back, taking the cup and swallowing it down with water.

“Now, how can I make it up to you?” I stretched behind us to place the glass down on the wooden side table.

The edges of her mouth curled into a soft smile, “Well we could-”

“Oh my god! What do they have a fucking elephant up there?” Pressing fingers into my pounding temple.

Aspen’s brows furrowed, “What?”

“The neighbors upstairs, it sounds like they’re playing Just Dance with cinderblocks for shoes.” I groaned spreading my digits across my eyebrows trying to ease the ache behind them.

She let out a small chuckle, “Babe I don’t think they’re even home.”

I rolled my eyes, “Are you serious? You haven’t heard them banging around and yelling for the past week?”

“No?” She laughed and nudged me, “I think you’re hearing things silly – or maybe you got...” She wiggled her fingers ominously, “ghosts ooooh.”

I curled my eyebrows together at her words thinking over the past week. “Yeah… maybe. I think I just have a bad migraine right now.” Shaking my head, thinking how the fuck she couldn’t hear the loud bustle from above. “How about we play some music?”

Aspen pulled herself up, “You have a migraine but you wanna play music?” She giggled, “You’re being so weird today.”

I stifled the kneejerk reaction to glare at her but just reached between us digging out my phone from the couch cushions. As soon as she saw me open Spotify and connect to my Alexa, she leaped over me. “Play something fun!” Tugging at my arm like a toddler, “We can dance!”

I knew if I didn’t give in to her, she wouldn’t drop it. I groaned like an annoyed boyfriend being dragged onto a dancefloor – which I guess, that’s exactly what it was. I begrudgingly peeled myself from the couch, mindlessly hit shuffle and dropped my phone on the couch cushion. The music lagged a bit before I finally met Aspen in the middle of my carpeted living room. She was clearly riding on her own high by the way she was bouncing around before the music even began.

An eerie calm began to wash through my veins and slow my brain. As the calming high from the pill ebbed in, I hadn’t even realized what song started playing until Aspen excitingly exclaimed, “I love Elvis!”

My heart plummeted into the pit of my stomach as the intro of Suspicious Minds creeped through the speaker. The nostalgic lyrics flashed memories of me and Elsie in my old dorm. Our impromptu performances were some of my favorite memories – they were innocent, careless, full of a forgotten hope that had long slipped from my fingers.

I could barely remember my life before Elsie, and I never thought there would be a life after her. I guess I always just assumed we’d always have each other. I never envisioned a time where I wouldn’t have her in my life or where we weren’t “Austin and Elsie” - nonetheless because of me. It wasn’t until that moment that the reality set in, that she may not forgive me. I wanted to believe that we could make it through anything, but this was uncharted territory. 

Seeing Aspen spin in Elsie’s place felt like a cheap replacement, like a knockoff designer bag or a low-quality pirated movie. The truth was that I missed her. I missed her so fucking much. 

Thankfully, the new drug seeping into my system began to numb my racing thoughts. The foreign feeling of it surprised me, it was reminiscent of Xanax but better - which I didn’t think was possible. If Xanax was a fluffy cloud, Percocet was an endless sea of silky fluff. The aching remorse faded into the background and the room seemed lighter than before. Aspen took my hand in an effort to get me to dance with her and for a split second I could’ve sworn it was Elsie. The initial excitement of the error didn’t disappear though and the music helped soothe the turbulence in my brain. 

If this was the bed I chose to make, maybe one constructed from sugary marshmallow fluff wouldn’t be so bad. 

Next Chapter -> 30 - It's Not Living (If It's Not With You)

Thank you for every like, reblog or comment, it means the world to me truly. I love hearing your thoughts and I'm glad you're liking my little story 💗

sorry this took so long - highkey this chp was so difficult for me to edit/finish for some reason, so, sorry if it’s not the best :/

Tag list: @cryingabtab @slowsweetlove @feverdreamcaoilainn @denised916 @julie181 @navsblog @michellelv @suspiciouselvis @presleysdarling @eddiesgorlie @ranaissingle @malachimochi @purejasmine

(if you'd like to be added pls comment 💗)

[httpiastri]

sorry, just have to say… “you’re here, that’s the thing” is so college pepe coded, and “out of my league” is so popstar x paul coded… 💜

!!!!! screaming

"cause i'm not sure if you're into me like i'm into you" – :(( yn just can't tell if he does like her back…… or at least in the same way, because she's really falling for him and he just won't make a move

"i know you said we're not a thing; but you're here, that's the thing" – yn being like, hmmm so you insist that we're just friends… so why are you still doing all of these things, why are you sitting so close to me, why are we cuddling, etc etc etc… 🥺

and !! popstar reader x paul !!!!

"from time to time i pinch myself; because i think my girl mistakes me for somebody else" – lollll paul 😭 yn does not mistake you for someone else, you're so perfect and def worthy of her love

and just "you are out of my league", paul thinking that since she's so famous and a god damn pop star, they're in different leagues…. but they're not 💔💔

[patscorner]

From time to time, I pinch myself because I think my girl mistakes me for somebody else

And every time she takes my hand, all the wonders that remain become a simple fact that you were out of my league

All the things I believed, you were just the right kind, yeah, you were more than just a dream

You were out of my league, got my heartbeat racing. If I die, don't wake me

'Cause you are more than just a dream.

(Out of My League, Fitz and the Tantrums)

[lia-kim7]

Navaratri-1

It was just a normal day in South Korea oh

Hi I forgot to introduce myself hi am yn jeon I have married jeon jungkook it's been 2 years since our marriage am an Indian girl ok back to story

Yn pov

It's September as being Indian we all love Navaratri so this time I decided to celebrate it in India. Also my bestie Bella is coming india so it's gonna be fun our flight in two days on 16th September and Bella's flight is on 20th we are goin early because it's been a year since I have gone there so.

Time skip

Finally we have landed in Indian it was tiring I was looking around when I felt a muscular arm around my waist I was about punch whoever it has but I recognise the smell it was jungkook he back hugged me and told "let's go home or u just wanna stand here" then I realised that I have been zoned out for five minutes " ok ok let's go my brother would be waiting " I said jungkook took our luggage nd now we were hading out soon we saw my brother standing in distance with my sister in law he saw me and had a cute smile on his face I quickly ran toward him and hug him I missed him so much "I still want to live yeah leave me " I let go the hug and pinch him on his arm " ahhh yeah u we're hugging me so tight that I can't even breathe " he said I laughed  then hugged my sister in law

Time skip

After getting home it was already late so we slept

Next morning

I woke up early as it is my habit to

I go the bathroom and did my morning routine then I go to downstairs then I heard some sound from kitchen I go there and saw my mom cooking breakfast for all of us with my aunt

I go there and hugged her from back she Flinched lil bit " go and tell everyone that breakfast is ready" my mom said I then go to my dads room I saw him sitting in balcony reading newspaper I go there and told him to get downstairs I was about to go but then i was suddenly pulled on the bed I was on jungkook he was about to kiss me then we suddenly heard knock I can see that how pissed jungkook of this 😂 I just chuckled lightly soon I stood up open the door just see my bro with annoying face too "mom told u call everyone downstairs " he said with cute anger on his face then we went downstairs and then had breakfast

Time skip on 20th September

Finally I am as going to meet my bestie after 7 years

Right now we walking to waiting area it was me ,jungkook and Bella's mom . Jungkook was happy that he finally got some time alone in the Indian household 😂

We were waiting when we saw the familiar face then we realised that it was Bella I quickly ran to her and hug her so tight I missed her so much. Then we let go the hug and I meet harry ,Bella's Fiance they are engaged. After lil talk we all got home and yes we all live in same house getting home we were greeted with chocolate's

Lately I have so much weird types of carving

And also morning sickness I think it's because of change in the atmosphere��🏻‍♀️.

Time skip evening

We all were talking and the best part was there were also our old bestie's and our cousin while talking we Decided to play td(truth dare) after few rounds it finally landed on jungkook I was a bit worried as my friends are worst u know what I mean 😭 he took truth and 😮‍💨 it was easy

Time skip ( 😮‍💨 ur Author is too lazy ) sorry

Finallyyyyyyyy it was Navaratri

_________________________________________________

Late updates sorry for grammar mistakes

[tragedyslayer]

Neteyam x female reader! Part 2

like this chapter a lot more, and It's a little longer! I switched from first person to third person once or twice to get Neteyams' thoughts on things, but let me know if you guys don't like that. Also let me know if there's anything I can improve on. (Also I don't proof read cause Im too excited to post the chapters as I finish them, I will edit my mistakes eventually) Enjoy!

TW: semi detailed description of cutting skin.

Characters are both 18

Part 1

Word count: 2,156

After hearing about Miles, or Spider I guess, it was hard for me to refuse the Na’vi boys' plea for help. So I found myself following him back to his home.

“Are you sure this is a good idea- erm what's your name?”

I asked, realizing we skipped formalities. He looked over his shoulder at me before replying. 

“Neteyam, this is a good idea. They will understand where I'm coming from.”

“And if they don't?” I argued, worried I would be shot on sight for coming anywhere near the Na’vi home. Neteyam stopped and turned to look at me. “My father is of the sky people, he saved all the people of pandora. He would not have been able to do that without my mothers trust.”

My eyes widened and I took a good look at Neteyam. I studied his features for a moment before smiling. 

“How did I not see it?” 

I shook my head, Neteyam had five fingers. Not only that but he had a striking resemblance to Neytiri. Everything made so much more sense now.

“You're Jake's son, that's why Spider was with you.”

Neteyam only nodded in confusion, not understanding why I would care who his father was. 

“ Why do you keep bringing up Spider?” 

I decided it would be best to wait to reveal my identity, he would understand in time. I shook my head in dismissal before answering him,

“My name is Shyla, I'll explain who I am to your father.”

Neteyam pressed his lips together, clearly unsatisfied by my vague answer.

“If you only intend on telling my father who you are, I'm sorry but I doubt that's possible.”

That wasn't ideal, I knew Jake would understand my position, but when it came to the others I wouldn't blame them if they were quick to judge.

My eyebrows pinched together as I listened to Neteyam. I understood there was nothing he could do, but this wasn't going to work.

“Ok, hear me out.” I raised my hands, gesturing for him to stay with me.

“Take me somewhere, where I can meet with your father. A mutual meeting place, you choose when and where. I know it's not easy to agree to, but do you really want to lead your enemy to your home? How do you think your mother would feel about that?”

Neteyam thought for a beat. I seemed to get through to him, because he sighed before nodding his head in agreement.

We climbed through a maze of trees, he definitely chose somewhere that wasn't easy to get to. He grabbed a vine, turning towards me and extending his arm as an invitation to grab onto him. Before I could argue I looked past the ledge of the tree we were on, the fall wouldn't be a pleasant one. I gave Neteyam a deadpan stare.

“Are you coming or not?”

I pressed my lips together into a line, stepping closer to Neteyam and wrapping my arms around his neck.

“You better not drop me Neteyam.”

Neteyam looked down at the women. He liked the way his name sounded when she said it. Now that he thought about it, he also liked the way he felt with her arms around him. However he didn't like the way he was feeling.

He shook off the thoughts before they could manifest anymore, holding Shyla tight by the waist before jumping off the tree branch.

The pair swung through the air and Syla gasped. Neteyam glanced downward, his confused expression melted away into a smile as he watched the girl. Shyla let out a breathy giggle as they swung through the forest.

They landed on another branch, and Shyla let go of Neteyam, composing herself. Neteyam internally scolded himself for immediately missing her warmth. 

“You liked it?”

Neteyam smirked, walking forward through some foliage. I scoffed, not bothering to hide my true amusement, following close behind him.

“It was alright.”

My sorry excuse at feigning indifference didn't go unnoticed. The both of us surfaced from the branches and vines. I took a moment to examine my surroundings. We were completely closed in by rock walls that towered above us, covered in greenery. It was like being in the center of a dormant volcano that became a plant utopia.

“So this is where you intend to hide me?” 

I teased, walking further into the grass. Neteyam rolled his eyes, following me. 

“You're the one who wants to be hidden.” 

He had a point, but I had no intention of giving him the satisfaction of knowing that.

“Whatever”

I laughed under my breath, but it was cut short. A searing pain rang through my body, I yelped before grabbing my forearm. 

“What is it?”

Neteyam rushed towards me, taking a hold of my arm and inspecting it.

Suppressing my groans as best I could, I looked at my arm. I had never felt anything like this in my life. Neteyam continued to question me, not knowing what else to do.

“Is something wrong with your avatar?”

Then it clicked, my eyes widened as I looked up to meet Neteyams fixed gaze.

“It's a tracker.’

I Grimaced, pulling a knife from the waistband of my pants.

“What are you doing?!”

Neteyam grabbed my wrist, stopping my blade.

“I can't let them find us!”

My reasoning didn't seem to convince Neteyam. I sighed before groaning at another shock of pain.

“Listen, it's either you leave me here, or I take out this tracker.”

Neteyam knew she was right, but he still hated the idea of Shyla mutilating herself.

Neteyam slowly let go of my wrist, giving me a worried expression.

I reassured him the best I could with a half hearted grin before lowering the knife to my arm. I took a deep breath before slicing through. I Gasped, trying my best to keep my hand steady.

“Fuck”

I weeped, dropping the knife after finishing my incision. I could tell Neteyam wanted to help but had absolutely no way of doing so. Biting the inside of my cheek I took my thumb and index finger, and dug into the cut. The taste of blood filled my mouth but I was in too much pain to care. After a few short moments that felt like an eternity I retrieved the tracker. 

Neteyam took it from me and smashed it with the end of my knife while I held my arm.

“Keep pressure on the wound”

Neteyam complied without question, and I grabbed a bandana I had in my cargo pants, wrapping it around the wound. Neteyam tightened the not, causing a yelp of pain to escape my throat.

“Sorry,”

He grimaced, and I glared up at him.

“At least you came prepared.”

A smile tugged at my lips, and I shook my head.

“You really are stupid.”

The sound of a helicopter overhead interrupted the conversation.

Me and Neteyam gave each other a knowing look before he dragged me toward the walls of the enclosure. 

“Shit”

Neteyam mumbled, it was the middle of the day and the sun illuminated every inch of the surrounding area.

“Over there!”

I urged, and we ran toward a slight overhang that conveniently had vines growing over it that provided some coverage.

Neteyam pushed his back to the wall, and I stood pressed against his chest. Both of our breaths stopped as the helicopter flew directly over the opening of what once was a hiding spot. Neither of us moved an inch until long after the sound of the helicopter dissipated. I let out a sigh of relief, wondering how the hell we got away with that. 

“That was close.”

Neteyam agreed,

“Too close.”

Then I realized how close we were to one another. I could feel the vibration of Neteyams rapid heart rate on my shoulder blade. His hands were cupped around my arms, and it was shocking how large they were. I  couldn't imagine how large he would be compared to my human form.

I swallowed the dryness away in my throat, as Neteyam let go of my arms. I took that as my que to step away.

We both emerged from the shadows cautiously, I looked at Neteyam,

“If they got my location before we destroyed the tracker they would have already been here.”

That was the best I could do at reassuring him. At the mention of the tracker a panicked expression took over Neteyams face.

“Your arm!”

He grabbed my wrist, tugging it, somehow gently, towards him. I had bled through the cloth, which granted was not ideal.

“I have to take you home, now.”

I pulled my arm away shaking my head.

“No! I can wait, I'm fine really.” 

Neteyam looked at me with disbelief,

“Are you serious Shyla? Why won't you come with me?”

Neteyams tone turned subtly sour as he spoke. I could have been misunderstanding his expression, but he seemed hurt. I bit my lip, contemplating every decision I made to lead me to this point. I took a sharp breath in, deciding there wasn't much to lose.

“I'm spider's sister.”

There was silence for a long moment. Neteyam just stared at me, and I probably looked like I was going to throw up.

Neteyam laughed and I just watched, not able to understand any part of his actions. 

“Why would that be a bad thing?”

Neteyam offered me a sympathetic smile, and it unintentionally made me melt. I sighed, focusing on the more important topic of conversation.

“Because…my fathers back.”

That's when Neteyams expression matched my own, he was horrified. All I felt was shame, I wish I could go back to saying my father was dead.

Neteyam insisted on bringing me back to the Na’vi base, reassuring me that I wouldn't have to tell anyone who I was until I was reunited with Spider. I spent the walk explaining that I was born on Pandora, and did not go back to earth tell my dad died. I explained that I was very young, and did not have a say in much of anything.

“So, you knew my parents? And Grace?”

I smiled slightly, shrugging in reply,

“Kind of, Like I said I was young, but yes I spent some time with them.”

Neteyam matched my smile, his pace quickened.

“You have nothing to worry about, they will think of you as someone to protect.”

My expression hardened and I thought for a moment, no one has ever wanted to protect me in my life. I've always just been a soldier, dying meant serving my planet to my fullest. Neteyam slowed, watching my expression.

“Is something wrong?”

I pulled myself away from the thought and looked up at him. I laughed, shaking my head.

“No, I'm sorry.”

Neteyam shook his head,

“Don't be.”

I don't remember much of Jake Sully, but that was him to a tee.

Before I could reply someone sprinted out of the woods and tackled me. I didn't let the utter shock stop me from fighting back. In a matter of seconds I was on top of the culprit with my knife to their throat.

“Lo’ak!”

Neteyam hissed, and I relaxed my arm, not pressing it into the boy's skin any longer. After the initial adrenalin wore off, I got a chance to observe the boy who attacked me, he looked familiar.

“Your brother?”

I chuckled, getting off of Lo’ak. Neteyam sighed, roughly pulling Lo’ak to his feet. 

“What the hell are you doing?”

Lo’ak shrugged off his brother, furrowing his eyebrows together. 

“I thought you needed my help!”

The boy defended himself, and I couldn't help but laugh under my breath. Both of the men looked at me, expecting an explanation for what I found so funny.

“Sorry, it's just, that lame excuse for an attack wasn't gonna help anybody.”

Neteyam also found that funny, chuckling as well. Lo’ak looked at his brother in utter disbelief.

“What are you doing brother? She is a sky person.”

He mumbled, as if it was some kind of secret. I pressed my lips together, maybe the Na’vi wouldn’t be as understanding as Neteyam promised.

Neteyam lightly pushed his brother's shoulder as a form of scolding.

“So is dad, and Kiri’s mom.”

Neteyams argument made Lo’ak shut up, but he still didn't seem to agree with the situation. 

“You will get an explanation soon, but for now we have to get Shyla home.”

Neteyam started walking but Lo’ak protested.

“To our home?! No, no, no.”

Neteyam shot Lo’ak a death glare, and there was no arguing after that.

Tag List

@liyahsocorro

[xxcatzladyxx]

Kyojuro Rengoku x Reader

Hello everyone! ^^

Here is the first oneshot from my oneshot collection of Demon Slayer. The first is with Kyojuro, our beloved Pillar of Flame. Have a good read!

~~~~~~~~~~

You help Shinobu out in her butterfly mansion with her injured and wounded patients. You are not a demon hunter. You see yourself as too weak for that, and you are also of the opinion that you would not be able to cope with it nervously. Cut off the demons' heads. Just thinking about it makes you feel sick to your stomach. No! You'd rather help those who were attacked by demons and got away alive.

At the moment, you are putting away medicines in the designated cabinet when you hear Shinobu's voice.

"Kyōjurō, my dear, what brings you to me?"

"Shinobu, I got hit by a demon on my last mission. The injury is not really bad," a laugh sounds.

When you hear HIS voice, everything falls out of your hand. The individual vials land on the floor with a popping sound. The individual splinters fly in all possible directions. The liquid they contain spreads out on the tiles and mixes. You stare at your mishap and at the door. Hopefully no one noticed! Just as you're about to grab a cloth, you hear your name being called.

Startled, you remain standing in your position. You don't move a finger anymore. Your breath speeds up to double and sweat begins to form on your skin.

"[Y/N], are you all right, my dear?" the black and purple haired girl asks after you.

You swallow. Not knowing what to do, let alone what to say. You don't have much time. You notice how steps seem to be coming towards you. Almost in panic, you look back and forth. What are they doing? Before the door can burst open, you pull a slightly larger splinter into your hand and enclose it tightly in your palm. The glass cuts into your palm, sending a fine line of blood flowing down your wrist. You pinch your eyes shut briefly at the pain.

"My dear, what happened?", Shinobu asks you with a smile, closing her eyes.

Unnoticed, you drop the shard back to your comrades and look down at your hand. You are about to speak when Kyōjurō appears behind Shinobu. The blush immediately shoots up your face and you obviously get hot. This is going to be embarrassing!

"I-I..Um..I..Uh..A vial had cracked and a piece of shrapnel was sticking out and I cut myself. In shock, I dropped the rest of the vials on the floor..I'm sorry, Shinobu!"

You lower your gaze to the ground. Like a small child who is afraid that his parents would scold him savagely. And because you didn't want to see the reaction from the column of flame. He must think you're incredibly scatterbrained and incompetent. You can't even do an easy task, like putting medicines in their place, without making mistakes.

"Oh, my dear, there's nothing wrong with that. It can happen to anyone. The main thing is that nothing serious has happened to you," the young woman smiled.

"Yes.", you say meekly.

"Show me your hand."

Shinobu takes your hand in hers and takes a look at your self-inflicted injury.

"Hmm, the splinter doesn't seem to be in your hand anymore, but we should still treat the injury so it doesn't get infected. Right, my dear?"

You can only nod and let her drag you into a treatment room, closely followed by the other column. On the way there, you look at Kyōjurō. He notices your gaze and looks into your eyes as well. His smile widens. Ashamed, you look ahead again. The young man laughs softly.

Shinobu pushes you onto a chair, placing HIM right next to you, much to your displeasure. Don't misunderstand. You like him, very much. But in this scenario, it's too much for you. You want him to hold your hand so you can't pull your hand away if the worst happens. Order from the nice lady Shinobu, who is actually your best friend, but is more of a sadist to you at the moment. She knows, to your feelings for the other demon hunter. What kind of friend would she be if she didn't.

You come out of your thoughts as Kyōjurō holds your hand in his. He is still grinning like a honey-cake horse in front of him. You relax again and focus on his hand. You feel it to be very warm and unexpectedly gentle. You thought his hands would be rather rough due to his many fights against demons. But the opposite is true.

"H-how is your little brother?" you ask quietly, noticing that Shinobu is not in the room right now.

His grin widens instantly.

"Senjuro is doing very well, thank you for asking.", he laughs out loud.

He is happy that you ask about his little brother. You've only seen him once or twice so far, but you immediately fell in love with him. The little sunshine is like his big brother, only a little shy. But all the more lovable.

"I'm glad. I haven't met him much, but I miss him."

Kyōjurō stares into your eyes. An idea flashes in his mind.

"I wanted to visit him again sometime soon. Would you like to accompany me. I'm sure he'd be delighted."

Your face immediately turns red again. How can he ask you such a question? Of course, you would love to accompany him, but whether you would survive that is completely different. You are so strongly in love with the pillar of flame that every second you spend with him makes your heart beat unbearably fast. You wonder why he hasn't noticed yet.

It is now evening, your hand has been treated and Rengoku's injuries have also been treated. You are currently sitting in the garden watching the sunset. Silently, you sit next to Kyōjurō and stare at the sky.

He, meanwhile, lets his gaze drift to you. The light wind blows your hair back shallowly and your eyes seem to sparkle quite a bit in the setting sunlight. His grin widens again and turns into a laugh.

Confused, you look to the person next to you. He continues to laugh unperturbed. Your eyebrows draw together questioningly. Why does he start laughing out of the blue? You know he's more than a gleeful person, but there's still something strange.

"Why are you laughing?..If I may ask?", saying the last sentence before to yourself.

"I think you're pretty."

Your eyes get as big as plates.

"W-what?"

His laughter gets even louder. He finds your reaction more than just cute. He would like to kiss you.

"I think you're pretty, [y/n]!"

"Th-thank you!"

With a red face, you turn away from him. However, he seems to have other plans and gently pulls your face in your direction. Mutually, you stare into each other's eyes. You could lose yourself in his.

"You are my sunshine!"

~~~~~

I hope you liked it! I'll be posting more Demon Slayer oneshots soon!

Bye Bye, everyone! ^^

Your Wolfi ^^

[surebabyholdback]

40 days and 40 nights

I waited for a girl like you to come and save my life

All the days I waited for you

You know the ones who said I'd never find someone like you

'Cause you were out of my league

All the things I believed

You were just the right kind

Yeah, you were more than just a dream

You were out of my league

Got my heartbeat racing

If I die, don't wake me

'Cause you are more than just a dream

From time to time I pinch myself

Because I think my girl mistakes me for somebody else

And every time she takes my hand

All the wonders that remain

Become a simple fact

[edgarwayne]

🎵 nathan

All Around Me - Flyleaf I can feel you all around me Thickening the air I'm breathing Holding on to what I'm feeling Savoring this heart that's healing

Hide - Juice WRLD ft. Seezyn Really think I found my home Shorty make me feel at home She made me leave the thrills at home And I'm fine with it She really made me lose control I'ma let my love unfold We're just two lost souls But we're fine with it

Out of My League - Fitz and The Tantrums From time to time I pinch myself Because I think my girl mistakes me for somebody else And every time she takes my hand All the wonders that remain Become a simple fact

Some of Us - Starsailor Heard you today. That isn't my name. You were fast asleep. Forget what he did. Can I be the kid, For your soul to keep?

[brimswithmoxie]

@ofcockytenacity

{I really didn't know what to think at this point in time. Honestly, it all just felt really surreal to me. Amazingly so, yes, but surreal, nonetheless. Like, one of those, too good to be true, types of moments, since this is everything I always wanted to have with Logan, yet he had previously made it clear to me that he was a "friends with benefits," type of guy and not someone who would ever commit to just one girl. This being the driving reason that I ended things with him a few days back, yet here he was now telling me that I was the one he wanted? Could this be real? Still, even after subtly pinching myself on the arm, while I watched Logan nervously pacing the floor of my bedroom, the pain from the pinch confirmed to me that this was really happening now. Even more so when he calmed down enough to take a seat on my bed beside me, and then I felt the warmth of his touch when his hand lowered onto my own. Initially, I didn't know what to say in response to his declaration. I mean, did he really mean it? Or was this just some spontaneous thing, and once the passion and impulse wears off, he'd realize he made a mistake in coming here? I guess this was one of those situations where I had to figure out if Logan was worth the risk. I silently considered as he admitted he might not be a good boyfriend, and would probably make a lot of mistakes. Still, even in knowing he could crash and burn at being a boyfriend, he still wanted to give it a chance. In spite of the risk I knew I'd be taking to get my heart broken all over again, I wanted to give him that chance, because to me, Logan was worth the risk} Okay... {I eventually said. Yes, I know that was a weak response, but in my defense I was still recovering... Both from the car accident, of course, but more so, from his unexpected arrival here in Stars Hollow with his declaration of wanting to be with me. All that to say, it was a lot to wrap my head around now} I know the risk I'm taking by saying yes... I know there's a chance you might change your mind or realize this commitment thing isn't for you, but it's okay, because to me, you're worth the risk. {I said with a smile as my head turned; letting my eyes lock with his own} All that to say, I want this too, Logan... I want to be your girlfriend. {I declared in response. Even as I did so, a part of me wondered if I should have a paper bag handy, in case the reality of this hits him, and sends him into a full on panic attack right here beside me}

continued

@brimswithmoxie 

I never felt more relieved to hear a ringing of a phone until the moment I waited outside Rory’s window. I knew the chances of her mother allowing me inside if she caught sight of me lurking around the porch. I was nothing if not sleuth; I had to owe it to all the years of sneaking out of windows in the mansion, or the pipes I’ve managed to climb down unsnatched. But this time I knew what I wanted to do; I wanted Rory to hear me out. I had no idea what words would come out of my mouth seeing as I felt the nerves coursing through my body. But I also knew i had to see her. 

The town was small; but with the address I had managed to squeeze out of Paris it felt easy going. The big hurdle was escaping her mother. I felt the rage her mother might exhibit if she had seen me. It’s why I held my hand right above the glass until I watched her frame leave my view and the wood door had closed. Exhaling a sigh of relief; I had let my fist knock gentle against her glass window. Did I think Rory had gotten wind I was coming? No because I could tell Paris had been begging me to not go after her; and I couldn’t figure out why. Yeah I had hurt the brunette; I had broken her hopes for us. But I had no intentions. For the first time I wasn’t being selfish, I wasn’t focused on myself. I believed I wasn’t enough; that Ace would get bored of me, that she would realize she was wrong about me. I was a waste of space as a boyfriend; along the way of friends with benefits; I saw who I wanted to be. For her. 

It scared the living shit out of me. I felt my hands sweating; which is why the second I offered a gentle at ease smile to the female when she spotted me, I had pulled my palms to my shirt and tried to will the sweat to go away. But I had stopped worrying about my sweating palms, or the nerves I felt when I saw her. On crutches? Was Rory in an accident? Brows pushed together confused. Logan had tilted his head to the side attempting to grasp onto what happened? It had only been a few days since Rory stomped out of my dorm room; a few days since I felt that ache in my chest. I was worried for her, I was feeling the ache in my heart why? Because Rory was hurt; and now it clicked; maybe Paris was giving a warning sign, because she didn’t want me to hear about Rory being hurt? The thoughts kept spinning in my head; as she inched closer. 

Lock hatched up, I had heard her voice quipped up with question probably dying to know. Considering she never told me where she lived, or the exact address the last thing I wanted was for her to believe I was stalking her out; definitely not my style please I had class, well sometimes. Placing my hands on the edges of the window I had used my upper body to pull myself through the window, once my feet had landed on the boards of her bedroom; I took a second to admire the shelf of books, the big tv, which was probably all her grandmother’s doing. Eyes slowly moved until they landed on her; the knots now forming. 

“ Paris told me, I wanted to talk to you, and I kinda made her, Don’t get mad.” A plead because honestly this encounter could go one of two ways; awfully wrong, or Rory could be willing to hear me out. Arms falling to my sides; the male had waiting a second; hoping she would show if this was a good idea or not.