#''can we go inside? it's so cold that i feel like i'm gonna lose EVEN MORE fingers''
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on one hand it's probably for the best that there were no jokes about rainer's disability but on the other hand, rainer absolutely strikes me as a fellow member of the "uses our visible disability for lame puns and prop comedy" gang
#eliot posts#taz#the adventure zone#taz graduation#rainer michelle#seriously i use my hand for the most godawful dad jokes of all time#woodshop teacher: everyone be careful‚ don't wanna lose any fingers! me: TOO LATE#''can we go inside? it's so cold that i feel like i'm gonna lose EVEN MORE fingers''#(when my 'normal' hand is out of commission bc carpal tunnel) ''well i'd offer a helping hand but you'll have to settle for 3/5 of one''#it's a shame that now as an adult my peers don't ask me about what happened very much#(idk if they're no longer curious or if they ARE curious but pussyfooting around it because they don't wanna be rude)#cuz i had some VERY FUNNY responses that i loved to pull out when asked ''what happened to your hand''#usually i'd tell them an obviously bullshit story about sticking my hand in a zoo enclosure or playing w fireworks or someth#and see if they'd call me on it#or the ole ''ACK??? WHEN DID *THAT* HAPPEN???'' *stares in shocked horror at hand*#(eventually followed by the actual truth lol)#i absolutely loved toph from avatar as a kid cuz she handled her disability with the same humour i handled mine with#i know not every disabled person feels the same tho and that's valid too!
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Um so wolves go into heat around winter an it got me thinking. Werewolf!ellie in heat absolutely RAILING reader
Im talking absolutely DESTROYING reader
She turn up at the door like "scissor tongitj?? Scissor tonight queen??? ✂️✂️"
♱|. . a/n: i'm supposed to be writing vampire smut.. but here we are! just need to get something out even if it's shitty (i'm also just sick and dgaf about perfectly writing a blurb).. i've also been listening to juno a lot so all i can think about is BREEDING. mdni.
werewolf!ellie panting at the corner of your cracked door—dark, ripped jeans, a crucible of sweat that clumps hairs to her forehead, shine to her skin—and she rushes a near nothing from her lips before the desperation could crawl out and eat you whole. if she quietened her own heart, she could catch yours pounding. “hey babe, fuckin' missed you. c'mere.” each syllable is accompanied by gusts of her gutsy—and almost visible to the cold—breath. its scent and heat bled through quickly. it poured over, into, and under her swooping fingertips, which had the back of your head snared and pulled into her mouth, eating your response with a whine she never intended to release.
the nature of your girlfriend isn't occultic to you; she drags you into her midnight realm and makes you feel like the worshipped moon. at this point, your brain tends to forget that she's even a werewolf to begin with, and eases in the penchant way she has with you: chasing you, loving hard, owning handfuls of your flesh that she lets spill and manipulate her senses. but, in the epicenter of this brutal winter—your first one together—you least expect a shirt to be shredded from your torso in one, hungry rip, tossed like ribbons on the floor and abandoned as you licked the nectary words dripping off her tongue. “wanna have a fuckin' baby with you.. ahah—shit, can i give you one?” she stumbled in giggles, so sweetly, and fumbled so pitifully with the rest of your clothes, you had to assist before something else was torn.
yeah, she can wear you out giving you 'one' any fuckin' day.
“miss me?” ellie clings, with nails that long to be sharp, into the small of your back. deep enough to bleed. it stung with a soft whimper inside your chest, “mhh—yes, ellie.” teeth collecting the sighed words from your lower lip.
she would rub her pussy against yours until it was throbbing raw, and her hips gave out. it did most times; from the wanton, the sheer letch to let loose, to give you something special—but if you whispered into a safekeeping, it would be about how she lets her hormones get the best of her. more so when your touch is involved. when your tired fingers trace the bushed mess that leads up her stomach in a thin, waning tornado-line, wrap your hand around and soothe her pelvis with pressure—she loses it.
“can't handle it at all, huh?” you pant, smiling at the fucked-out, glistening and red look on her face. her scarred brows tighten when your sticky thighs come into contact with an audible slap. it's her juices that coat you. “poor thing.”
ellie cups her own tit and rolls deeper into her straddle, you're not even sure she heard you; too lost in that midnight realm. but, if you're being honest, you're the one that can't handle it. human endurance has you beat for miles—she has to place your limp leg on her shoulder. “f-fuck..” she trembles. soon enough, the hairs covering her cunt are shining wet with her cum, and she can only hope that it takes. “thats it.. oh my god..” she leans into her nape, voice vibrating deep and hoarse in her chest. she looked like golden heaven, with her head hanging like that. though, her stamina will be the death of you: she lifts her head and starts hovering over you for more, hot breaths that felt cold in your used state fanning over your cheek. “gonna be a goddamn mama, babe. got more in me—if ya' wanna go again, hm?”
#♱ | “asks.”#♱ | “footnotes.”#ellie williams#ellie williams x reader#ellie williams smut#werewolf!ellie#ellie tlou#lesbian#sapphic#ellie x reader#ellie williams x fem!reader#ellie williams fic#ellie williams blurb#breedingkink!ellie#elliewilliams#tlou ellie#ellie williams tlou#ellie williams tlou2
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OK SORRY FOR THAT MANY REQUESTS MY MIND IS JUST WANDERING
how would nanami react if you suddenly you will start looking at yourself in the mirror from the side and touching your stomach, He doesn't understand what's going on, and when he asks you, you avoid the issue by saying it's nothing. One day he comes home from work and hears you talking on the phone with a friend of yours saying "I would look so beautiful pregnant" "I would love to have a child, but I don't know how to tell him."
HAKWHQKDHWKHE I LET YOU IMAGINE THE REST
🐧
I-
Panties soaked because of big breeder balls nanami
Nanami dreams about a family. He imagines himself as an amazing dad, constantly catering to his babies, you included. When he first sees you gazing in the mirror he worries it may be a self esteem issue so of course he showers you in love and attention, telling you how beautiful you are, how he's desperately in love with you and can't see a life without you. This honestly makes you want a family with him even more because how can a man be so perfect. When he finally hears you on the phone talking about how beautiful you would look pregnant his heart flutters. He 100% agrees. Nanami is a man who always wants the love of his life to be happy so he's more than willing to make those dreams come true. The moment your free from your call Nanami is closing in behind you with his hands wrapping around your waist pulling you flush against his chest. His lips are pressing sweet soft kisses down your neck while he hums blissfully breathing in your scent.
"I think you'd look beautiful carrying my babies" he whispers the words as he presses a wet kiss to your jaw.
You almost cant believe the words that leave his mouth. You feel embarrassed yet happy with his reply.
Nanami's cold fingers run lazily across your skin causing you to shiver. His hand slips past your waist band so quickly you don't even have time to react. His fingers press into your core rubbing slow, teasing circle around the bundle of nerves. Your head is lulling back as your overcome with the pleasures of his touch.
"We can start now if you want" his voice is a low rasp.
How can you possibly say no to your loving husband asking to put his babies inside of you.
Like the speed of light Nanami has you in a mating press plunging himself so deep inside of you you're practically losing your mind. The only thought in his mind is how pretty your going to look with your round belly carrying his child.
"If it's a boy what do you want to name him?" his question goes unanswered
Your mouth hangs open with a line of drool dripping ever so slightly. You feel so full with how deep his is. Your fingers are digging into the sheets in an attempt to compose yourself. A string of loud moans fall past your lips. Nanami's praises fill your ears and you can't help the blissful smile that seeps onto your face.
"My beautiful wife" he groans "Gonna stuff you so full"
His pace is relentless. He's slamming his hips into you mercilessly. The squelching sounds of your hole would usually leave you embarrassed but you can only seem to focus on the hungry look filling Nanami's eyes. He has a mission. His eyes are filled with love mixed with lust as he stares down at the way your hole is sucking him, taking everything that he gives you.
"Fuck I'm close my love" he moans
His moans are like music to your ears. Your whimpers fill the room as you beg for his cum. Your pleas are all Nanami needs before he's stuffing your full grinding into you. Nanami pulls out watching his cum spill from your hole. Your trembling still trying to gather yourself. His fingers push inside of you, stuffing his cum back inside.
"You're being wasteful my love" he groans as he rubs his red tip over your cum covered warmth "Let me help you keep it all in"
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Strange - S.H
Pairing - Steve Harrington x Fem!Reader
WC - 2.1k
Contains - angst, hurt/comfort, swearing, alcohol consumption, mentions of addiction, mentions of childhood trauma, exes to lovers, second chance romance
AN - Part 2 of 'Little Red Lighthouse' ! for the sake of not having to use “y/n” bc i hate it, reader goes by Lizzy. Use your imagination idk
'Isn't it strange/how people can change/from strangers to friends/friends into lovers/and strangers again.' - 'Strange' by Celeste
There was a biting chill to the air as you sat shoulder to shoulder on a rock overlooking the lake with your best friend. The shadow from the towering lighthouse did nothing to help your lack of warmth, but the heat radiating off Steve’s body beside you almost made up for it. In his hands he held a worn piece of notebook paper adorned with his signature scratchy handwriting, slightly crumpled from hours of reading and rereading; frustration bleeding between the inky blue lines.
“I don’t even know why I'm bothering with this shit,” he sighs, “dad thinks college is a waste of time anyway,” he gives the paper one last squeeze in his fist before chucking it into the water.
“Steve!--” you practically shriek, “what’d you do that for?!”
“Cause’ Liz, we both know I’m not getting accepted anywhere worth going to,” he says with finality, like he’s already made up his mind despite it only being January, “and you’re gonna go somewhere fancy schmancy like Feinburg while I rot here,”
“Well certainly with that attitude you will,” he shoots you a deadpan look from where his head is propped in his hands. “Stop worrying about what your parents want, Steve. What do you want?”
“Right now I want to get off this boulder. It’s fuckin’ freezing out here,” the end of his sentence is muffled by his cupped hands around his mouth, huffing into them in an attempt to bring some warmth back into his numbing fingertips.
“I’m perfect, actually.” you feign self-assuredness just to tease him. He knows you’re cold too, the tip of your nose is bright red and frozen to the touch, giving you away.
“Oh, are you?”
“Yeah” you chirp, “I am,”
“Oh, okay,” just then he slides what could've been an icicle but really was just a frigid hand up your shirt and presses it firmly to the small of your balmy back, earning a squeal from you.
“Asshole!” you shove him away playfully and he removes his hand, deciding for once, to spare you.
You spend the rest of the night bundled under layers of quilts, watching movies your mother rented from Family Video that afternoon as snow falls from the pale sky in big, fat flakes. At some point during the second film, you feel yourself curl into his lap where he’s seated on your sofa, fighting and losing a battle with sleep. Just before slumber overtakes you, you note the feeling of his hand tracing soothing circles over your spine. The arm that isn’t holding you against his torso snakes around to tuck a few strands of hair behind your ear, selfishly so he can steal an unobstructed view of your peaceful expression.
He almost enjoys being with you more when you’re sleeping. Not because he doesn’t adore listening to your winding tangents or your infectious laughter, but because you can’t see him unabashedly staring at you when your eyes have drifted shut like they are now. It’s as if the world has stopped spinning on its axis and time has halted just for him. His own personal sleeping beauty. You looked like the rest of his life.
Memories have a mortifying way of appearing gold in hindsight; nostalgia like a knife that’s gutted him, leaving him emptier than he was before. Now, whenever the air gets older, Steve is reminded of how your presence used to feel.
–
“Hey.”
“Hi.”
Stepping into his orbit for the first time in all these years, the love you still have for him beats inside your chest like a second heart. You long to reach out and touch him, to weave your fingers through the hair at the back of his head and nuzzle your face into the tender skin of his neck, to cry how sorry you are and ask “How could you let me leave you?’--
“You look well,” the low register of his voice shakes you from your spiral and you remember with a sharp pang of guilt just how long it's been since you heard him speak. You feel like he’s taller now than when you left, even though he hit his last growth spurt during the last summer you spent together. A soft dusting of hair that wasn’t there before graces his upper lip. That cheeky, boyish charm you always loved had suddenly morphed into something more gruff. It made your stomach churn.
“Thanks, I don’t–” you cut yourself off with a soft shake of your head, “Thanks, Steve. You do too,”
He gives a meek shrug as he glances down at himself. There was simultaneously so much and yet nothing at all to say, and the silence was suffocating.
“How long are you in town for?” he asks, hoping the answer is indefinitely but knowing it won’t be.
“For a week, then I have to go back to the city,” you struggle to ignore the subtle disappointment that flashes across his features. “I was offered an internship in graphic design. It starts next month.” You say with a tight lipped smile. You wished you wanted that, but now that you were home, all you wanted was to stand under Steve’s gaze like a bug under a magnifying glass.
“That’s wonderful, Lizzy. I’m really happy for you.” Of course he was happy for you. If this was what you wanted, Steve was thrilled for you. But in all the 15 years you’d been inseparable, he’d never once seen you take an interest in graphic design. Maybe it was because your father was an architect. Your mother, an artist. To not follow in their footsteps, Steve knew, would make you feel like you failed them. It doesn’t change the way he can see your expression faltering when you utter even a word about your future career.
“You– what about you? Are you working for your dad?”
“No, actually, I took over for Hopper. At the station.”
This time, Steve’s blessed with your real smile. A genuine one. You never wanted the alternative for Steve. Being constantly surrounded by corporate goons, taking over the family business just to be miserable and burnt out in less than a decade. The boy never could make up his mind about what it was that he really wanted to do, but he knew it wasn’t that. The trouble was, Steve only ever felt like he belonged somewhere when he was anywhere with you.
A gentle hand to his bicep sends him reeling, and it’s all he can do not grab you by your shoulders and pull you into his chest with as much force as he can muster. But the moment is gone as soon as it arrives, and you’re being whisked away by some other friend who’s vying for your attention. Absently he wonders if he left, would people miss him the way they seemed to have missed you? He supposes it’s best not to dwell.
–
When you arrive home later, the house is empty with a note from your parents stuck to the fridge claiming they’re out tonight. You’re grateful for the reprieve from socialization as you pad your way upstairs and down the hall towards your childhood bedroom.
It looks almost identical to when you left it, with the exception of a spare unrecognizable object here or there. Things your parents must have picked up for you at some point with the hopes of being able to give it to you the next time you visited home, but never could. Your mother had made your bed neatly, adorned with all the stuffed animals and bedding from your youth. Everywhere you turned, there were mementos of your lifelong friendship with Steve. Greyscale photo booth pictures, old movie stubs and the dried remnants of the corsage he gave you for prom. It was a memorial; a cemetery of your life together.
When you finally managed to lie down, all you did was toss and turn until the analog clock tick tick ticking on your wall informed you it was one A.M. In your sleep deprived haze you absentmindedly sat up and reached for the baby blue corded phone resting on your nightstand. It was only when you brought the phone to your ear and heard the droning dial tone that you realized what you were doing, and set the phone back in its cradle. Your fingers ached to press the digits to the only number you knew by heart: Steve Harrington.
–
You weren’t sure why your mom kept renewing her Cosmopolitan subscription for you, since you hardly took interest in the issues, but she did nonetheless. Tonight, struggling to find something more productive to do, your curiosity got the better of you as you mindlessly flipped through the pages with freshly manicured nails. It was a Friday, and the prospect of sleeping in tomorrow delighted you. You were in no hurry to get to bed.
Just then you heard the shrill ringing of the new phone your parents got you to keep in your bedroom for your birthday. You knew it had to be at least twelve o’clock in the morning. Only one person would be calling you at this hour.
“Hello?”
“Hey, can I– can I come over?” Steve's voice was hushed and trembling. Muffled yelling could be heard in the background over his unsteady breathing.
“Steve? Yeah, ‘course, I'll unlock my window,” you pause, “everything okay?”
“Yeah just– I’ll be there in ten,” and with that you heard the receiver click back into its place on the wall.
Magazine having been discarded on the floor next to your bed, you sat at your desk, knee bouncing rapidly as you waited for Steve to climb through your window like he had dozens of times before. At sixteen, you’d be caught dead having a boy in your room at this hour, even if it was just Steve.
You hear a soft tap tap tap on the glass, signifying his arrival. In a rush, you hurry over to your window to help him in. When he regains his balance with both feet on your carpeted floor, you’re finally able to get a good look at him. He’s bleary eyed and his nose is chapped raw, like he’d been rubbing at it continuously for hours.
“Hey,” you say softly with a gentle hand to his forearm, “What’s wrong? Did something happen?” You feel guilty pressing him on the matter immediately, but you can count on one hand the amount of times you've seen Steve genuinely distressed. Last Halloween when Nancy Wheeler had proclaimed that he and their whole relationship was ‘bullshit’ had been the last time.
“Mom and dad were fighting. I guess– I guess he found these pills she’s been taking? I don’t know,” he looks dejected as he fidgets with the hem of his sweater, “Jus’ couldn’t listen to it anymore.”
Your eyes round into saucers when you looked to him, concern gracing your features. It was always something with the Harringtons. If they weren’t screaming at each other, they were screaming at Steve. Catherine had substance abuse issues, John was violent. Broken dishes and holes punched in drywall were becoming the norm. All Steve wanted was a way out; an escape. You gave that to him. Always.
Without another word, you propped yourself up on your tiny twin bed and motioned with open arms for him to come lie with you. He accepted the invitation instantly, sinking down into the mattress with you. His head rested on your chest, just above your rapidly beating heart. A heart that beat for him alone. You silently prayed he knew that.
After a few minutes of comfortable silence and softly petting his hair, you felt two distinct drops of tears land on the silky satin of your pajama shirt. You attempted not to make a scene, with the knowledge of how difficult it was for him to be vulnerable. Instead, you simply continued your ministrations on the back of his head and held him a little tighter.
“It’s okay, Stevie,” you whispered against the crown of his head, “You’re safe now. We’re gonna get out of here someday, y'know? I promise.”
He nodded bleakly in acknowledgment against your sternum as his tears fell a little quicker and a little harder. “Okay,” he whimpered. The sound nearly tore you in two.
You’d never intended on breaking that promise. Not really.
–
Against your better judgement, you reached for your phone a second time and dialed his number for the first time in five years. You hoped he didn’t get a new landline.
His voice was gravely and thick with grogginess when he picked up after six torturous rings, “Hello?”
“Meet me tomorrow. DiBella’s. Ten o’clock.”
You slammed the phone back into the receiver before you had time to regret it.
taglist: @sheisjoeschateau, @ohwauwdoritos
divider credit to @/strangergraphics
#steve harrington x reader#stranger things#steve harrington#steve harrington fluff#steve x reader#joe keery#series#steve harrington angst#steve harrington smut#stranger things series#steve harrington imagine#steve harrington one shot#steve harrington blurb#steve harrington x you#steve harrington fic#blurb#oneshot#stranger things 4#stranger things 5#stranger things 3#steve harrington aesthetic#eddie munson#steve harrington x eddie munson#steve harrington fanfic#stranger things angst#stranger things fanart#stranger things fic#stranger things fanfiction#stranger things x reader#dustin henderson
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The whole scene where Ellie is leaving Dina and JJ is so heavy, it makes it harder for me to breathe. One would say the only horrible thing about this scene is the fact that Ellie is leaving, choosing Abby over her family. But there's more than that, and it's killing me.
When Dina comes downstairs and sees Ellie packing her bag, she appears unaware of what is happening. But in fact, she is well aware. She knows it as soon as she wakes up and finds out that Ellie is not in the bed. And what makes this scene so heavy is the way Dina tries to convince herself that THIS is not happening AGAIN. The way she just smiles and starts talking about JJ so casually, as if she didn't catch Ellie packing her bag to leave her. She doesn't want to admit it to herself. She can't admit it to herself, even though she already knows. She knows Ellie has already made up her mind when she sees her in Joel's jacket in the dark.
The way she says, "Come back to bed." and turns around, praying for Ellie to change her mind in that moment. But that doesn't happen. Instead, Ellie speaks up, and we see in the way Dina closes her eyes how the crushing feeling of losing Ellie suddenly becomes so real and palpable to her. She doesn't need to admit it to herself anymore. It's happening, and it's so hard to accept.
We finally see that Ellie is not the only one struggling. They were both there in Seattle when it all came down. "For you and for him, I deal with it." Dina says and we realize that maybe if it weren't for the two of them, she would be a wreck too.
But to realize it, Dina and the way Ellie treats her in this scene is not the only one to get sad over. Ellie has her reasons, and knowing what she went through and who she lost, we can't blame her for them. This makes this moment much more painful because we know Ellie is living her family life in denial. We know this has nothing to do with Dina or JJ. Ellie has always loved them. But she's not doing well, bottling up her feelings. She doesn't sleep, doesn't eat, has panic attacks and bad memories to remind her every step of the way of just how big of a hole there is in her heart. They have a beautiful home, but they aren't happy—maybe at heart, but not inside their heads. Dina has always known there was going to be a time like this where Ellie's bad memories win, and Ellie lives her life pretending everything is fine because she doesn't want to hurt the people she loves the most.
Also, we can see how deeply Ellie hurts by choosing to leave Dina. When she says, "I love you." and Dina wants her to prove it, Ellie knows she can't. And it has nothing to do with the feelings she has for Dina. She loves her, there's no doubt about that. But she can't go on like this. She can't rest until she gets closure. This way, she'd finally be able to give Dina what she deserves. She feels like shit, it hurts her so bad knowing that Dina has always been there for her, choosing her over anything else—almost dying because of her. And now, when the tables have turned, she's not able to do the same for her. She's leaving her instead, and it hurts so fucking bad.
"I'm not gonna do this again." is when Dina breaks up with Ellie, and through a heavy heart, Ellie lets her because she knows it's for the best. She knows she's weighing her down, and she believes Dina will be better off without her. That's why her answer is more of a cold one, "That's up to you." because Ellie needs to give Dina a reason to think she doesn't deserve her love; all to make it easier on her to let her go. I just can't.
#the last of us#tlou#ellie williams#ellie tlou#dina nolastname#dina tlou#ellie x dina#dinellie#the last of us part 2#tlou part 2#the last of us talk#elliespuns analyses
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Hi luv!!
What do you think about Hobie Brown x fem!cold!reader ?!!
Like reader is really cold and tough on the outside, but when Hobie opens her up, she gets a sweet soft spot for him
it kinda gives off the vibe 'shes cold when closed but when she opens, you never want to lose her ever again'
you get me?!!!
so yeah :))
dont rush, take your time, and yeah
thank you in advance :33
this is so Hobie and my OC coded I love it!! I think I put too much story behind this little fic, but hopefully you enjoy what I came up with and as always, thank you for requesting <3
TW: fem!reader, some unexplained lore, slightly ooc hobie? idk this is how I like to imagine him but some might call it ooc, v cold angry reader
__________________
The sound of humming filled your ears as you sat above the supercollider of some random dimension, having been sent here by Miguel for a stake-out mission, searching for the footprints left behind by an anomaly he was looking for.
There was nothing here, no one there, but he'd insisted on having someone stay there a couple hours, just to make sure, and you'd volunteered, hoping to get some peace and quiet, some time to yourself in a beautiful dimension with a clear night sky.
But then, of course, Hobie Brown had to show up and ask to join you. You'd said no, twice actually, but Miguel had added that it would be better for you to go with a partner. Alone was dangerous. Alone was bad.
So you'd given in and he'd followed you into this dimension and hadn't given you a moment of quiet since he'd stepped in.
You looked over at him, gazing over the edge, drumming his fingers against the flat of the rooftop while humming softly. Did he always have to be doing something?
You swore you'd never seen the guy sit still, not even for a moment. It was like he was allergic to being quiet.
You sighed frustratedly, looking back out, only for him to notice and stop humming. He glanced over at you, a slight smile spreading across his face. "What? You didn't like the song?" he asked teasingly, leaning towards you to bump your shoulder.
You practically hissed at the motion, scowling at him before folding your knees against your chest, holding them tightly. "Alright, silent but deadly." He scoffed, tilting his head to the side slightly. "Why're you being so serious? We both know no one's gonna be here."
You stayed silent, biting at the inside of your cheek while he stared at you, progressively getting more annoyed at the fact that you were ignoring him. "Seriously? You gonna pretend I ain't here?"
You looked to the side away from him. He let out a frustrated groan, waving his hand in front of your face. "Oi! I'm right here! Why're you-" he cut himself off with a sigh, looking away, pulling his hand back. "Fine. Be that way." he said quietly.
You relaxed when he pulled his hand away, refusing to look at him as he continued to sigh dramatically. "Come on, love! You're boring the hell out of me, you know that? We're gonna be here for hours, we might as well have a conversation." He pleaded, looking back at you.
"I don't feel like it."
He glared at you. "You don't feel like it? When do you ever feel like it? Look at me, mate, I'm not one to push people to talk, but you never do."
"Maybe you should stop coming on missions with me if it frustrates you so much." You replied coldly, staring straight ahead as he looked at you with an open mouth.
"Is me wanting to get to know you that bad?" He muttered, scowling at his lap as he played with the rings on his fingers. The way he said it, like he was genuinely hurt, made your glare falter. He really wasn't all that bad...maybe just a little lonely. And you were too. But you didn't want to talk. Not to him, not to anyone.
"You can drop the tough guy act." he said quietly, looking back at you. "It's just me. I don't expect you to act like anything. I don't expect you to-" he hesitated. "to act like everything's okay all the time."
You swallowed, shaking your head. "But you're expecting me to speak up to you? I don't know who you think I am, but I'm not some sweet little girl trapped underneath a cold exterior." you said, looking at him angrily. "Stop thinking you can fix me. There's nothing to fix."
That made him stop.
He hesitated before just looking out. "Sorry." he said softly, his hands falling still in his lap. "I never meant to...to make you feel that way." he admitted. "I just...I don't know. I just thought you might be nice."
"Nice?" You scoffed quietly. "There's nothing to be nice about."
"I'm not expecting you to open up to me." He said quietly. "I just...want to get to know you, you know? I know about your canon events. I know why you act like this." he told you, gaze piercing through your soul. "And I know what you've been through. And I understand." he hesitated. "I lost my best friend too."
"Stop-" you said hoarsely, looking away at the mention of what'd you'd lost. "Don't-"
"And it feels like no one understands me." Hobie continued on, not giving you a break. "Because they're all so busy thinking it had to happen. But it didn't, right? It didn't have to happen. It wasn't...it wasn't canon. That's bullshit."
"Hobie-"
"And I know you feel the same way." He finished. "I know you think it's all bullshit too. So I guess I thought-" he inhaled sharply. "-I guess I thought we could be friends over it, I don't know." He said quietly. "Haven't had a friend who understood me in a long time."
Silence.
"I'd say I'm sorry for your loss-" you started quietly. "But I'm sure you're tired of hearing that."
He chuckled softly at that, looking back at you. "Yeah, I am. But it feels nice coming from you." he said, leaning towards you slightly.
You just shook your head. "It shouldn't. You shouldn't be trying to be my friend. People around me get hurt and you will too." You warned, voice breaking slightly as you spoke. You cursed under your breath at yourself for getting emotional, hugging your knees tighter.
"People around me get hurt too." He said softly, looking at you.
"It's not the same."
"Why?"
"It's just not!" You snapped, finally looking at him. His eyes widened slightly and you immediately tensed up, realizing you'd just yelled at him. At the only person you considered even sort of a friend.
"Just leave me alone." you said quietly, looking away from him again. "Go."
"Go where? I'm stuck with you for the next few hours, remember?" He said gently, trying to get you to look back at him. "Love, look at me, come on."
"No." you said, pulling away from him.
"Just for a second. Look at me."
You refused, closing your eyes tightly and keeping your head turned away from him.
You felt his hand slowly creep up your neck to hold your jaw and slowly twist your head to face him, your eyes fluttering open to see him staring at you, a solemn look on his face.
"I'm sorry." he said softly. "For pushing you. Really."
You looked at him for a moment, before nodding. "Thank you."
Then for a moment, your spider-senses began to tingle. Something was about to happen. You thought the anomaly showed up, that Miguel had been right, but then before you could react, you were pulled into a hug by the Spider-man sitting in front of you, your head buried into his chest as he held you tight.
You exhaled softly as his arms wrapped around you, practically melting into his embrace, his face burying itself in your hair. Your arms slowly snaked around his waist, keeping him there, and your eyes closed, reveling in the feeling of being so safe.
For the first time in a long time...you felt protected. Like he was a shield, a vast embrace that shadowed you from the desolate reality of being a Spider-person.
From your canon.
And for a moment, you thought to yourself, maybe just maybe- everything would end up being okay.
He began to pull away slightly, but you didn't let him, keeping yourself against him as he let out a deep chuckle. "Not so scary after all, hmm?"
"Shut up." you whispered, face pressed into his shirt. He smelled like smoked wood, like a crackling fireplace. It was a comforting smell. The smell of home, the smell of warmth. Safety.
He actually giggled at that, holding you closer. "Knew I could fix you."
"Hobie-"
He just smiled. "Alright, alright. I'll shut up."
#:((#I described the hug and now I need it#I crave a hug from hobie#it would solve all my problems actually#[silvia's requests]#atsv#across the spiderverse#hobie brown#spiderman atsv#spiderman#miles morales#beyond the spiderverse#atsv hobie#across the spider verse#hobie my love#hobie#hobie spiderverse#astv hobie#hobie brown headcanons#hobie my beloved#hobie x reader#spiderverse hobie#spiderpunk#hobart brown#hobie brown x you#hobie brown x reader#hobie brown x y/n#hobie brown x female reader#hobie x y/n#hobie x you
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↳ Index [Chapter 03 - Freundschaft]
• Freundschaft (German; noun: friendship)
Focus on Pairing: platonic!Yoongi x Taehyung
Warnings: so many fluffy sweet moments, they finally fucking talk it out, they're actually best friends i'm sorry i don't make the rules, no but seriously they both needed this moment, this is also very emotional actually, i'm sobbing i love them SO MUCH
Wordcount: 9.5k
a/n: *cries* i love them so much holy fuck
Yoongi and your grandparents stay downstairs for another hour before sleepiness starts to take a hold of them as well.
“Oh, I’m tired”, your grandmother says in a yawn.
“Me too”, your grandfather agrees, having to yawn as well.
Yoongi yawns with them, rubbing his eyes. He didn’t even realise how tired they were from using them all day. He never really gets tired eyes in the real world.
“Will you still stay up?”
“I think I wanna finish the chapter, yeah.”
“Alright”, your grandparents stands up.
“Well then, sleep tight my boy.”
“Oh, uhm, sleep tight too, H-Harald”, Yoongi stutters, feeling his cheeks heat up.
“Sweet dreams, dear.”
“You too, Agatha.”
They leave holding hands while Yoongi is left gawking at the empty room with a racing heart. They like him. Something inside him finally clicked which made him realise that he is actually liked by them.
Yoongi lowers his head, scrunching his face in giddiness. They like him. He continues reading with his mind going back to the interaction over and over again. It never loses its spark and maybe he plans on telling you about it tomorrow.
“Hyung?”
Yoongi lifts his eyes from the book. He already finished another chapter before being called. Taehyung is in front of him, wearing a jacket. He seems to come from outside as he smells like the night.
“Do you have some time?” he asks shyly.
“For what?”
“To spend it with me.”
Yoongi checks the clock.
“It’s half past eleven.”
“I know, but I wondered if perhaps we could go for a walk in the garden.”
“Did you ask the others?”
“Huh? Aren’t they sleeping already?”
“Yeah, I guess.”
“Do you want to go for a walk?”
“Fine”, Yoongi gives up and stands up with a sigh, “you’re not gonna leave me alone either way.”
“Thank you so much. Oh, how happy I am”, Taehyung says and hurries to the coat stand to pick up Yoongi’s jacket, “let me help you.”
“I can put on my own jacket”, Yoongi says and snatches it away, “I’m not gonna act like a lovedrunk idiot with you, just so you know.”
“So you won’t even hold my hand?”
“Don’t make this weird or I’ll leave.”
“Oh, I was merely joking with you”, Taehyung says, nudging his arm, “I am very well aware that you cannot seem to like me, which is very hurtful if I may mention it.”
“It’s nothing personal”, Yoongi says and puts on his shoes. He finishes his look with a headband which he pulls over his ears then goes to open the door, “let’s go. I wanna be done with it.”
Taehyung follows him outside, joining his side. Yoongi inhales deeply and exhales, sticking his hands into the pocket of his jacket to make sure Taehyung can’t hold them.
“Now we’re outside. It’s cold and dark. Is that what you wanted?”
“Please can you at least attempt to meet me with less hatred?” Taehyung asks.
Yoongi studies his features, “yeah, I’ll try. Where should we walk? It’s dark”, he mumbles with slight embarrassment in his voice.
“Follow me, I know the way”, Taehyung says and takes off.
Yoongi follows behind him. Fireflies guide their way. Taehyung seems to lead him to the animal shed. There is the faint red shine of the warming lamp in the distance.
“It’s peculiar isn’t it? To think that we lived centuries being able to see in the dark and now we are helpless.”
“Yeah, it’s weird.”
“We became so used to the conveniences.”
“Yeah.”
Lights flicker on just as they pass the lavender beds. Your grandfather installed motion sensor controlled garden lights along the path. They guide their steps, making it a lot easier to see.
“That’s better”, Taehyung says to which Yoongi agrees with a hum.
The two men walk a few steps and then Taehyung talks again.
“How have you accustomed to being human again?”
“It’s alright.”
“Truly?” Taehyung stops to turn and look at Yoongi, “you spent thousands of years wishing to be human and now that you are, you think it is merely alright?”
Yoongi touches the side of his neck, “it’s good”, he confesses, “I don’t feel comfortable discussing this with you.”
“Why not?”
“Because I don’t feel comfortable with you.”
“You’re so cold to me”, Taehyung says and touches his heart, “it breaks my heart. Oh, why am I still trying to make you like me?”
Yoongi knows that he is joking. He lets a small scoff escape, reaching out to push at Taehyung’s chest gently.
“Walk, you brat”, he says and joins his side.
Taehyung glances at him, feeling happy. Yoongi is like a stray cat. One must be patient and give him space to make him comfortable. Only then will one be rewarded with warm moments.
The two men reach the animal shed.
“Here”, Taehyung says and tugs Yoongi to the right.
“Where are we going? The path’s that way.”
“I know, but I want to go this way.”
The automatic light flicker on. They pass them and disappear in the darkness again. New lights flicker on, showing them the way. At the end of the path a burning fire waits for them. There is a blanket and some pillows next to it.
“Are we going to the bonfire?”
“Yes indeed”, Taehyung says.
“Did you prepare a picnic?”
“Yes.”
Yoongi glances at Taehyung.
“I told you that I don’t wanna be romanced by you.”
“I am not trying to romance you, hyung. I am trying to bromance you.”
Yoongi scoffs at the silly wordplay, following Taehyung down the path despite his complaints.
“Fine. Any sign of you trying to make a move on me though and I’m gone.”
“I won’t make a move on you”, Taehyung promises and stops by the fire. He points at the blanket, “get comfortable.”
Yoongi follows even when he pretends to sulk. Taehyung takes off his shoes and gets on the blanket as well. Yoongi, who watched him, also takes off his shoes, stretching his feet to the fire afterwards. The warmth is intense, but he likes it. The night is really chilly here. Despite how warm the days are.
“What are you doing?”
“Preparing you a drink”, Taehyung answers him, “I also made a few snacks if you get hungry.”
“That’s what you were making behind me? Where I couldn’t look?”
“Indeed.”
“And you didn’t set the whole kitchen on fire?”
“As a matter of fact, I didn’t. You should trust me more, hyung. I am a very skilled cook.”
“Yeah sure”, Yoongi laughs.
“You offend me, hyung. I put a lot of effort into tonight”, Taehyung says as he pours red wine into a glass. He hands it to Yoongi, who accepts it. Once Taehyung filled his own glass, the two men clink glasses, avoiding eye contact. At least Yoongi does, Taehyung is very much staring at his face.
“To a lovely night.”
“Yeah.”
They drink the wine.
“And?”
“It’s good. It’d be better to let it breathe for a bit.”
“I agree, but it’s still very delicious. The richness of the grapes truly coats the entire tongue.”
“Mhm yeah.”
“Eat some cheese to it, hyung. I cut it myself”, Taehyung offers, pointing at a prettily done cheese board. He decorated it with flowers from the garden and cut some baguette to go with it.
“Thanks”, Yoongi says and picks up some brie.
“Here. Pair it with baguette and fig. It tastes wonderful this way.”
Yoongi allows Taehyung to prepare the perfect bite, but flinches back when he attempts to feed it to him.
“I’ll do it myself, don’t make it weird”, he mumbles.
“Very well”, Taehyung says, “you are such an anti-romantic.”
“I can be romantic.”
“Of course. How does it taste?”
“Good.”
“Oh how wonderful”, Taehyung giggles happily, “eat as much as you want, hyung. I made it just for this occasion.”
“Mhm.”
The two men share silence for a while. Yoongi doesn’t think the silence in itself is uncomfortable, but the fact that he has to share it with Taehyung. While Taehyung thinks the silence in itself to be uncomfortable as his mind scrambles to come up with topics to talk about. He doesn’t want Yoongi to feel as if coming with him was a waste of time.
“What do you think of the wine, hyung?”
“You asked me that already.”
“Indeed? Oh silly me. I apologise”, Taehyung says and fumbles with his hair. He downs his wine and prepares another glass.
Yoongi watches him from the corners of his eyes. The nervousness is practically wafting off of Taehyung.
“It goes well with the cheese”, Yoongi says.
“Indeed?”
“Yeah. It fits well”, Yoongi praises and finishes his own glass, “can I have another?”
“Yes of course. Drink as much as you want to and eat! Yes, eat just as much!”
“I will, Tae. Thanks.”
There is silence again, but it doesn’t feel that uncomfortable anymore. They drink wine, eat delicious cheese and share the warmth of the fire. Taehyung knows that Yoongi isn’t the person who always needs to talk a lot, so the silence doesn’t feel that heavy anymore. Yoongi seems content, he seems to enjoy the food and wine and he seems to enjoy the fire. Taehyung still wants to talk with him. He hasn’t had a proper conversation with him in ages.
“Did you work on new music lately?”
“Yeah, I did.”
“Oh, that’s wonderful. What genre?”
“Acoustic. Yeah”, Yoongi touches the side of his neck shyly, “I like it lately.”
“Indeed? I believe it fits you, hyung.”
“Why?”
“Because acoustic reminds me of feeling at home. You seem to be at home these days.”
Yoongi looks away and lowers his head.
“I guess”, he whispers, hiding his hands in his sweater paws before stuffing them between his thighs shyly.
“Do you have some of your music here? I would love to listen to it.”
Yoongi hesitates at first.
“Please?”
“Okay”, he gives in and takes out his phone, “I uhm, saved them on my phone. They’re not finished yet, but I think that they’re already really good”, he says and presses play on a song.
The two men listen to it intently, sipping on wine and snacking on cheese. Yoongi is shy. Even a blind person could see so. He is shy, but not uncomfortable. In his own kind of way he seems even proud of himself. Yes, he really seems content with his own work.
The song finishes with Yoongi strumming on the guitar. Silence follows.
“Yeah, that’s it”, he murmurs, flinching in surprise when Taehyung starts clapping.
“Wow hyung, this was wonderful!” Taehyung exclaims, “I didn’t know that you could sing and oh so well at that.”
“Thanks. I think I sing well”, he agrees.
“You truly do. Your voice is very soothing and fits the genre very well. Do you have any idea on what you will call the song?”
“No, not yet. Maybe something nice.”
“Something nice would fit the melodies very well.”
Yoongi glances at Taehyung. He tilts his head to the side slightly. Taehyung meets his eyes.
“Do you really think it’s good?”
“Of course I do. I enjoyed it. Honestly.”
“Okay. Thanks”, Yoongi says and looks into his phone.
Taehyung glances at the screen. Yoongi is scrolling up and down on the same spot, almost as if he is waiting for Taehyung to ask him about it.
“Do you have more songs to show?”
“Yeah, I guess”, Yoongi says and presses play on the song. It starts off with the piano, but soon guitar and Yoongi’s gentle rapping joins the melody.
The two men listen to it as they drink and snack and share the warmth of the fire.
They each finish their drink in the middle of the song and so Taehyung makes it his task to refill their glasses. Yoongi thanks him with a silent nod. The song ends abruptly.
“I didn’t get to the end yet”, Yoongi says, “sorry, that was shit.”
“No, it wasn’t. It was wonderful.”
“Really?”
“Yes, truly. I love your music, hyung.”
“Oh”, Yoongi lets out and blushes vividly. Thankfully for him, the wine and the heat of the fire already turned his face red, so a new layer of blush goes unnoticed by Taehyung.
“I was actually wondering whether you could write melodies for me. Unless you have more songs to show”, Taehyung says.
“No, all the others are still rough drafts”, Yoongi says and glances at Taehyung “what do you mean with melodies?”
“Well, you see”, Taehyung begins and takes out his leatherbound notebook from the inside of his jacket, “I have this poem, which has such potential for a song, but I am terrible at composing”, he explains and lies down on his tummy. His feet still face the fire, he is propped up on his elbows.
Yoongi stays in the same position, craning his neck to look.
“Would you want to take a look?”
“Yeah, I guess.”
Yoongi tries to see in the current position at first, but has to give up in the end. He lies down on his tummy as well, mirroring Taehyung’s position.
“It’s dark.”
Taehyung shines his phone flashlight on the pages.
“Does this help?”
“Yeah.”
The two men share silence. Yoongi reads and snacks while Taehyung stares at his face and feels nervous. It’s been centuries since he last showed his friend his poetry. And it has been even longer since he asked him to write melodies for him, maybe he never even did. Centuries make memories blur, so Taehyung can’t remember clearly. He feels nervous beyond recovery.
Yoongi ends the poem with a quiet hum.
“And? What are your thoughts on it?”
“It’s romantic.”
“Yes indeed. I thought about my favourite things to do with my loves and slow dancing came to my mind. So I wrote a poem about it.”
“It’s good”, Yoongi says and glances at him, “I have ideas for a song.”
“Truly? Oh hyung, this is wonderful news! I feel beyond delighted.”
“Do you want to make it jazz?”
“Yes! Yes, I would love to make it jazz!”
“Or maybe retro RnB with some jazz elements.”
“Oh hyung, you are truly a visionary. I love every idea you have. We could make it so that the instruments get a solo part to really make them shine.”
“Yeah, I like that.”
“We have to start working on it once we are back home.”
“Yeah.”
“We will finally be able to have our music nights again”, Taehyung says and caresses Yoongi’s upper arm gently.
“Yeah.”
Yoongi fumbles with the edge of the page. He doesn’t dare to flip it because it would invade Taehyung’s privacy.
“Do you want to see something else?”
“Yeah, I guess.”
Taehyung flips through his notebook until he lands on the drawings he did for your bedroom.
“It’s not finished yet, but this is my vision for ___’s bedroom. I am thinking flowers and branches reaching from the ceilings. What do you think?”
“Yeah, it’s good”, Yoongi says, tracing the floral sketches with gentle fingertips.
“If you have any ideas which I could incorporate, please let me know.”
“I don’t know. I’m not good at painting. Or art.”
“Oh, that is a lie. You are talented.”
“Not like you. I can’t paint like you”, Yoongi says and shakes his head.
“Yes, but you have your own style. Wonderful and beautiful because it’s yours.”
Yoongi glances at Taehyung. The latter smiles at him, flustering Yoongi to the point where he has to hide away. He lies down on the blanket, resting his head on his own arm. Like this, he is looking up at Taehyung.
“I can’t paint, stop fucking around”, he hisses, but Taehyung merely chuckles and reaches down to caress Yoongi’s cheek with the back of his hand.
“Very well, you stubborn bastard”, he says and flips his hand so his fingertips were dancing along Yoongi’s temple. He ends the touch with a slow trace of Yoongi’s brow, retreating it afterwards to instead flip through his notebook.
Yoongi allowed it to happen with silence surrounding him and his eyes never once leaving his face. He keeps staring at him even after the touch stopped.
“I have another poem. Do you want to hear it?”
“Mhm.”
“It’s in our mother tongue. Ever since I am with Jungkook, I find myself thinking in this language more often. In a sense, this poem is dedicated to him.”
“Read it to me.”
And so it happens that Taehyung reads his poetry to Yoongi, while Yoongi looks at him and enjoys the warmth on his toes. He listens to Taehyung’s words intently and wonders if the young vampire has always been so dreamy with his words. And then he wonders if he has always been so gentle and why he felt the need to touch his face in such ways.
Taehyung ends the poem with a shivering voice.
“Oh dear”, he lets out and wipes at his eyes, glancing at Yoongi, “I am tearing up.”
“It’s okay”, Yoongi speaks softly.
“I always tell myself that I won’t become too emotional, but I truly can’t help myself. I am in love with him. Just thinking about him makes me want to cry. Oh dear, this isn’t like me at all”, he says and laughs softly, drying his eyes as best as possible.
“It’s okay”, Yoongi assures him and reaches up to wipe the tears from Taehyung’s cheek.
The latter falters for breath, gawking at him with widened eyes. The touch surprised him so greatly that he forgets to cry.
Yoongi ends the touch with a gentle nudge to Taehyung’s chin, afterwards he retreats his hand and hides it under his head.
Taehyung doesn’t dare to speak. He is left staring at Yoongi and feeling short of breath. His heart is threatening to give up in his chest, his thoughts are messy but one thought is clearer than all else. Is this truly his friend? Such tenderness, Taehyung never experienced from him before.
“The poem is nice. I could write melodies for it”, Yoongi breaks the silence.
“You”, Taehyung has to clear his throat, “hyung, this would make me incredibly happy. Oh, hyung thank you.”
“Mhm, yeah. You could perform it for Kook once it’s finished. He will love it a lot.”
“I truly hope that he will. Oh, I want to make this man so happy. Sometimes I fear that I am too much, that I will scare him away one day because I overwhelmed him with too much love.”
“There’s no such thing as too much love, Tae, there’s just a thing as the wrong receiver.”
“The wrong receiver?”
“Don’t lessen your love, Tae. A cactus dies in too much water, while a water lily thrives. There is no such thing as too much, there are just wrong receivers. Jungkook’s the right one, trust me.”
“Hyung, thank you I…” Taehyung exhales shakily, “oh, I have so much love to give to him. If I could, I would steal the stars just to give them to him. You have no idea, hyung.”
“No, I do”, Yoongi whispers and smiles softly, “he’ll cry so much when he hears the song.”
Taehyung chuckles and drops down, nuzzling his face into his own arm as he beams at Yoongi.
“He will. Oh, he is such a gentle soul.”
“Yeah”, Yoongi agrees with a chuckle, “I hope he never changes.”
“Yes, yes I agree. He’s perfect the way he is”, Taehyung says with love drunk eyes, “I plan to take him on a summer holiday soon. Perhaps Greece. It is so terribly romantic there.”
Yoongi studies Taehyung’s features intently enough that Taehyung feels shy.
“What is it, hyung?” he whispers.
“I haven’t seen you so in love before.”
“That’s not true. I love ___ just as deeply.”
“You weren’t like this with her. You were a cunt and a show-off.”
Taehyung chuckles, “I guess you are right. Oh, I regret a lot in my life. I try to make it right, but sometimes I am scared that I won’t ever be able to fix it.”
“Don’t try so hard.”
“But if I won’t, then it won’t ever be enough.”
“You’re already enough, Tae.”
Taehyung flusters, looking away.
He touches his own hair, scrambling for words.
“Hyung I…” he begins, “hyung, I feel wrong at times.”
“What do you mean?”
“I feel as if I am trying to force myself into a situation I have no right to be in”, he says and looks into Yoongi’s eyes, “when Jimin was dead, I did so much wrong and, and afterwards as well. And although I shouldn’t feel this way, I feel as if I was never meant to be part of this family again. Sometimes I am scared that all of you merely pretend to be alright with me being here.”
Yoongi furrows his brows.
“I know. How silly of me to think this way. How utterly and stupidly self-obsessed. The world doesn’t revolve around me and yet here I am, feeling sorry for myself.”
“It’s not self-obsessed, Tae. You have worries and still feel guilty for your past. I understand those feelings all too well, but you shouldn’t feel this way. You acted like shit in the past, yeah, but you’re not that person anymore.”
“Do you truly think this way?”
“Yeah.”
“I didn’t think that you would.”
“Why?”
“Because you are always so mean to me.”
Yoongi falters. Taehyung shies away, lowering his eyes.
“It hurts me so much when you’re always so terrible to me, hyung”, Taehyung confesses in a whisper.
Yoongi stays silent.
“I apologise”, Taehyung whispers, “it, it’s alright. I understand why you are this way. I shouldn’t ask you to change for me.”
“No, you should”, Yoongi interrupts him.
Taehyung lifts his eyes, holding his breath.
“I think I’ve been unfair to you”, Yoongi confesses.
“What?” Taehyung gasps.
“It’s hard for me to accept that you’re not the reckless, snobby brat from the past anymore. That’s all I’ve known you as for centuries, but I have to give you a chance to prove yourself as someone different. You’re allowed to better yourself. I’m sorry for acting like a cunt, Tae.”
“Do you mean that?” Taehyung presses out.
“Yeah, I do.”
“Hyung”, Taehyung tears up, “oh hyung”, he whimpers and squeezes his eyes shut.
“Hey, don’t cry kiddo”, Yoongi whispers, cupping Taehyung’s cheek to wipe the tears from his lashes.
“Oh hyung, I’m so happy”, Taehyung presses out and flings himself around Yoongi’s neck. He traps him in a tight hug, his arms are slung around him and his legs closed tightly around Yoongi’s waist.
“Yah! Stop that”, Yoongi complains, finding himself smothered in Taehyung’s chest as the latter rolls around the blanket with him. Yoongi ends up chuckling, “you’re so stupid, Tae. Let me go.”
“Oh hyung, we will be such good friends”, Taehyung giggles and nuzzles into Yoongi’s face just to kiss his cheek.
“Tae stop”, Yoongi laughs, pushing his face away gently, “you’re weirding me out.”
Taehyung pulls back, releasing Yoongi from his tight hug. The latter wiggles away instantly, nudging Taehyung’s cheek.
“You’re a brat. I regret everything I said”, he says, making Taehyung laugh. Yoongi smiles, giving Taehyung’s chin one last gentle nudge. Then he rolls to his back and sits up, taking his glass of wine to drink it as his eyes stare into the orange flames.
Taehyung sits up as well, studying Yoongi’s features.
“I feel happy, hyung.”
Yoongi nods his head, “me too.”
“I mean it.”
“What do you mean?”
“We will be such good friends.”
“I see”, Yoongi says and nods his head, “yeah”, he glances at Taehyung, “I don’t want you trying to romance me. It makes me uncomfortable.”
“I won’t try. All I wanted for years was to be your friend, hyung. This is everything I wanted.”
“Mhm, good.”
“I will however cuddle with you and give you kisses.”
Yoongi scrunches his nose up and clicks his tongue, “if you have to”, he murmurs.
“I do”, Taehyung says and scoots closer to hug Yoongi’s waist and rest his chin on his shoulder, “you will be so fed up with me by the end of it.”
“It’s gonna happen sooner than later. I hate PDA.”
“No, you don’t. You give ___ PDA all the time.”
“Yeah, I guess. She’s my love, yeah.”
“That’s good, hyung. The two of you are meant for each other”, Taehyung says and sits up. He wiggles his toes and drinks his wine. Then he lets out a loud sigh, tilting his head up to stare into the sky. Millions of stars look down at them, “this world is truly fascinating.”
Yoongi inhales and lifts his head. He exhales, “yeah, Namjoon did nice stuff as well.”
“It feels impossible for me to imagine. He traumatised me incredibly.”
“I know Tae. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologise, it wasn’t your fault.”
“Mhm”, Yoongi lets out and lies down. He starts counting the stars but soon gives up, “do you think that every witch that ever lived is here?”
“Mhm, yes I think so.”
“Mhm.”
Taehyung snacks on some grapes and enjoys a sip of his wine. He really likes the taste of it. It’s already warmed up from the fire, but he doesn’t mind. It still tastes sweet, tasting even sweeter because he is finally Yoongi’s friend. Taehyung loves being Yoongi’s friend.
“Do you think that witches return to be witches once they’re dead?”
“I don’t seem to understand this question, hyung.”
“It doesn’t matter.”
Taehyung turns, studying Yoongi’s features. The latter, who looked at the sky at first, shifts his attention to Taehyung. He seems flustered.
“Talk to me, hyung. There is something weighing on your heart, isn’t there?”
“No, there’s not.”
“You don’t have to lie to me”, Taehyung says and lies down on his tummy. The two men can see eye to eye this way, “you can trust me, hyung.”
Yoongi takes a deep breath and sighs.
“I was just wondering. What if a witch became a vampire against their will, would their soul return to being a witch once they’re dead? Would they be able to enter this world or will their soul be too cursed by vampirism to enter?”
“I have to think about this for a moment”, Taehyung confesses.
“It’s okay. It’s fucking stupid either way”, Yoongi murmurs.
“No, it’s not. I will think about it”, Taehyung assures him and rolls to his back.
They share silence. The fire crackles by their feet, the crickets sing their nightly song and the forest is alive in various kinds of rustling and animal calls. They’re both a little chilly. It’s been centuries since they last felt truly cold. They’re also very tipsy from the wine. It’s been just as long since they felt so truly drunk. It’s a vulnerable state they find themselves in. Human and so utterly prone to outside influences that it would be a scary state to be in if they weren’t so safe in each other’s presence.
“I thought of my answer”, Taehyung breaks the silence.
“Tell me”, Yoongi whispers and so Taehyung speaks quietly as well.
“I think that a witch will return to being a witch once they die. You said that they were cursed against their will and I believe that death will lift the curse from their soul.”
“So you think that they can find peace here?”
“Yes I believe so”, Taehyung says with confidence in his voice.
“Good”, Yoongi says and exhales shakily, “yeah, that’s good.”
Taehyung turns his head to Yoongi.
“Why do you ask such a question, hyung?” he asks and widens his eyes, “no hyung!”
“Huh?”
Taehyung sits up, “no! Just no! Why would you think like this? Why?”
“What’s wrong with you?”
Taehyung shakes his head vigorously and grabs Yoongi by his shoulders.
“Why do you still think about dying? Why would you kill yourself just to enter this world? Why do you still think this way?” Taehyung presses out with a trembling emotion in his voice.
“What?” Yoongi gasps and sits up, “I wasn’t thinking for myself, you idiot.”
“But…what else were you thinking?”
Yoongi lowers his head and touches the side of his neck.
“My friends”, he whispers.
“Your friends?”
“The other Creators who died. Do you think that they found peace here?”
“Oh”, Taehyung lets out and touches his own chest, “I feel such relief right now. Oh hyung, you gave me such a fright.”
“I don’t want to die these days”, Yoongi says.
“Good. This is good”, Taehyung says and hugs Yoongi again even if the latter grumbles in distaste, “you just became my friend and I don’t want to lose you.”
“Okay, okay I got it”, Yoongi laughs, patting his head, “now let go of me.”
“No”, Taehyung murmurs, “I have to hug you, hyung.”
“Fine.”
Taehyung gives him a little squeeze.
“I think that your friends are in this world”, he says into the crook of Yoongi’s neck. Yoongi feels his voice against his skin this way.
“You do?”
“Yes, of course I do.”
“Okay”, Yoongi says and relaxes, “maybe I’ll find them one day. How endless do you think this world is?”
“I can’t tell. I know even less about magic than you.”
“I never understood this world. This was always Namjoon’s expertise. I keep wondering how far away my friends are or how similar to the real world it is. What about time differences? My friends died thousands of years ago. They don’t know automatic lights or modern sanitary systems. Does their world look different than that of ___’s grandparents? Does every witch’s world look different depending on when they died? Isn’t it incredibly lonely like this?”
“I don’t think that I have answers to these questions, but I do believe that this world isn’t lonely.”
“You do?”
“Yes. The real world is lonely enough and I believe that the loneliness stops here. This isn’t a world of punishment, but of peace”, Taehyung says and sits up to look at the stars, “if you asked me, witches of every time period live here together. I think that this world evolved as the real world evolved. Your friends may have started off this world without electricity or running water, but as time passed and witches from different time periods entered this realm, it evolved with them.”
“Maybe.”
“Or perhaps this is a world of many different times. Maybe your friends still live how you lived three thousand years ago while ___’s grandparents live in their time period. Perhaps we can traverse time here and visit each other’s time.”
“Yeah, maybe.”
“Whatever it may be, I believe that your friends are at peace.”
“I wonder if they would recognise me if I ever meet them again.”
“I believe that they would”, Taehyung says and glances at Yoongi, “perhaps we could look for them.”
Yoongi lowers his head, “I was wondering the same.”
“You were?”
Yoongi nods his head.
“Oh hyung, then we ought to do so”, Taehyung says, taking Yoongi’s hand.
“I don’t know if I want this.”
“But you said so yourself that you were thinking about it.”
“Thinking about it and actually doing it are two very different things.”
“And what would be so bad about actually doing it? How else will you make new memories? How else will you find out if they’re at peace?”
Yoongi looks at Taehyung. The latter meets his eyes.
“Thinking about it can’t hurt me”, Yoongi whispers.
“I see. Oh hyung, you live in your thoughts too much. What would have happened if you over thought ___ as well?”
“That never would have happened because she gave me no chance to even think about it. She just made me fall in love with her”, Yoongi says and makes Taehyung laugh with it.
“Yes indeed, she is so incredibly stubborn once she wants something.”
“Yeah, I hope she never changes.”
“Yes indeed. She is perfect the way she is”, Taehyung agrees and smiles with Yoongi. He squeezes his hand, “but you see? Because you had no time to over think it into ruin, you can now live in happiness. You told me that you don’t want to die these days hyung, and it is all because you didn’t overthink.”
Yoongi looks away, nodding his head in acknowledgement.
“So I think that we should attempt to look for your friends. It will make you happy.”
“I guess”, Yoongi touches the side of his neck, “not this time. We’ll visit this world a lot more. I’m not ready yet.”
“I understand. Then we’ll do it next time”, Taehyung says, caressing Yoongi’s knuckles, “I love it here, so I hope to visit it many more times.”
“Mhm yeah”, Yoongi agrees, “how do you like being human?”
“Oh, it’s exhausting”, Taehyung laughs, “it has only been two days and I already have enough of it.”
“Really?” Yoongi chuckles, “why? I think it’s nice.”
“Why is it nice? I have to eat and drink and constantly relieve myself, I get tired so easily, every little ache stays and I have been freezing my buttocks off for the past ten minutes.”
Yoongi laughs, “I like it.”
“Of course you do.”
“Yeah.”
Taehyung touches his own chest, “but I must admit that it is truly wonderful to feel my heartbeat again and that my warmth is honest. And I guess it is also wonderful to feel touch on my skin”, he says and lifts Yoongi’s hand into their vision. He runs his thumb over his skin, meeting Yoongi’s soft gaze afterwards.
“Yeah”, he whispers, “it’s nice to experience this. Hugs are the best because you can feel the other’s heartbeat. Yeah and kisses.”
“Oh, you romantic”, Taehyung says with fondness in his voice, “I haven’t kissed properly yet.”
“I’m not the one you will experience this with.”
Taehyung laughs, “you are truly ice cold, hyung.”
Yoongi chuckles, “I told you. I don’t wanna romance you.”
“Yet.”
“Ever.”
“Of course, this is what you say now.”
Yoongi rolls his eyes, smiling fondly, “you’re a brat.”
He lifts his glass to his lips and finishes the wine.
“Do you want more?”
“Yeah.”
“Oh, the bottle is empty.”
“Mhm”, Yoongi hums, “I guess that means we gotta go inside.”
“Why? The night has only become comfortable.”
“Didn’t you say that you were freezing your ass off?”
“Yes, but I want to spend more time with you.”
Yoongi scoffs fondly, “we can spend time inside as well. It’d be less freezing.”
“Very well, but only if you promise me that we will truly continue this inside.”
“Yeah, we’ll continue this.”
“I take your words for it, hyung”, Taehyung says and gets up, “should we extinguish the fire?”
“Yeah, it’s safest. We don’t want to start a forest fire.”
“Do you believe that fires are possible here?”
“Let’s not find out the hard way. Can you get the hose from the shed?”
“Of course.”
While Taehyung hurries to the shed in the darkness and begins unravelling the hose, Yoongi makes it his task of cleaning up the picnic. He makes sure the glasses are as dry as possible and the plates are relatively clean before storing all of it in the small basket. He shakes off possible crumbs from the blanket and then folds it neatly. Taehyung returns while Yoongi is busy folding. He aims the hose at the fire, squinting his eyes as the fire dies down in puffs of smoke and protesting sizzles.
“We were lucky with the smoke”, Yoongi says.
“Yes truly, oh it’s taking its revenge now”, Taehyung says and coughs, “my eyes burn terribly.”
“Yeah”, Yoongi agrees, wafting the smoke away with closed eyes.
The fire is extinguished soon after and the two men can make their way back to the cottage. Taehyung stores the hose back on its spot as they pass the shed while Yoongi carries the picnic stuff.
“I can carry something as well”, Taehyung offers.
“It’s okay. I got it”, Yoongi assures him.
They walk side by side on their way back, carrying a certain light-hearted skip in their steps. It wasn’t there when they started this evening, but now it doesn’t seem to want to leave.
“You can leave the blanket outside in case of critters.”
They slip off their shoes and coats and while Taehyung is still busy with fixing his hair, Yoongi is carrying the basket to the kitchen. He starts unloading it, glancing over his shoulder when he feels Taehyung’s presence behind him.
“We should clean. It’s mannerly”, Yoongi says.
“Of course. I shall wash the dishes and you can dry them”, Taehyung says.
“Okay.”
Yoongi rolls up his sleeves and begins storing the leftover food in small containers, while Taehyung is busy filling the sink with warm water. They try to be as quiet as possible in fear of waking anyone.
“Oh heavens, I am a fool.”
“What’s wrong?” Yoongi asks, looking over his shoulder.
“I forgot to roll up my sleeves and wet my hands already. May I get help?”
Yoongi closes the fridge and hurries to Taehyung’s side. He rolls up his sleeves, first the left and then the right. Taehyung looks at Yoongi’s face while the other looks at Taehyung’s sweater.
“That colour’s nice”, he says.
“Thank you. I think that earth tones really fit me”, Taehyung says.
“Yeah, it’s good.”
“I made the sweater myself. I still know the pattern, so if you want to have your own I could knit it for you.”
“It’s okay, you don’t gotta work for me.”
“But I want to.”
Their eyes meet.
“You would look very handsome in earthen tones, hyung.”
Yoongi flusters, looking away.
“I’m done”, he says and steps back, “that should hold.”
“Thank you, hyung.”
“Mhm.”
Taehyung begins washing the dishes while Yoongi is busy discarding the scraps.
“So should I make you a sweater?” Taehyung asks.
“If you want to”, Yoongi says dryly, but it is clear that Taehyung’s offer means a great deal to him. His cheeks are just the slightest shade of rosy.
“Oh, those are wonderful news. I shall start with it the moment we are home. No actually, I have to do ___’s bedroom first and then we also planned to write my song and I promised Jimin to help with renovations of his ballet studio. Oh, I am too busy.”
Yoongi chuckles. He joins Taehyung’s right side and begins drying the dishes he already finished.
“I shall start with your sweater in October. Early November, at the very latest. I promise.”
“It’s okay, Tae. I can wait”, Yoongi assures him.
“I shall make you many presents now that we are friends, hyung.”
Yoongi smiles, “okay, Tae. I’ll accept them”, he speaks softly, giving him a fond look through the reflection of the kitchen window.
Taehyung meets it and smiles. His heart is light in his chest, his shoulders feel like lifting. He feels at ease. Spending time with Yoongi until this evening was always filled with uncomfortable tension. They accepted each other’s presence for the sake of the polycule, but it was felt by both that it was just that. Acceptance to keep the peace. Taehyung felt nervous in Yoongi’s presence and as if he needed to pretend to be the most proper, guilt-filled person on earth. While Yoongi felt wary in Taehyung’s presence and as if he needed to keep a distance for his own safety.
They don’t feel this way anymore. The once awkward tension was lifted as they talked and acceptance turned into friendship. Of course one nice evening doesn’t mean that all the issues are gone forever, but both men sense that it will be different from now on and they are willing to put in the work to improve their relationship day by day.
It’s a nice feeling to have because it meant that they could both finally feel entirely comfortable whenever their polycule comes together.
“Hey guys.”
Taehyung and Yoongi are almost finished with the dishes when Jungkook enters the kitchen. The two men look at him. He is wearing checkered pyjama pants and no shirt. His hair is ruffled as if hands played with it. His skin is flushed and his neck carries red marks of kisses.
“Hey.”
“Hello handsome.”
“Are you doing dishes?”
“Yes, we had a picnic by the fire pit.”
“The two of you?” Jungkook sounds rightfully surprised.
“Yes. It was a very lovely time.”
“Oh? Really?” Jungkook makes sure, looking between Taehyung and Yoongi. It is obvious that such news are unbelievable to him. He sniffles to make out their scent until he realises that he can’t do such things here.
“Yeah”, Yoongi says, “it was good.”
“Did you guys talk it out?”
Yoongi and Taehyung nod.
“We are friends now”, Taehyung says and hugs Yoongi.
“Okay Tae, back off”, Yoongi complains with a chuckle, which only makes Taehyung hug him tighter.
“You guys, this is the best news ever”, Jungkook gasps as his eyes light up, “wow, I’m so happy”, he confesses and giggles. He steps closer and gives them a little hug, “my two favourite men are friends now. I’m happy, hyungies”, he says and sighs contently, “I gotta tell ___ the news, but first I need to get her water.”
He struts to the cabinet and takes out two glasses. Taehyung and Yoongi, who broke the hug after Yoongi nudged him away gently, watch him.
“Did you make love?” Taehyung asks.
Jungkook grins confidently, “I don’t have to tell you.”
“Oh come now, don’t be so secretive”, Taehyung laughs.
“Mhm yeah”, Jungkook nods his head, “she’s resting upstairs.”
“Now these are truly wonderful news. I still haven’t gotten to love her here”, Taehyung says and nudges Yoongi, “you, hyung?”
“Why do I gotta tell you?”
“Come now, it is just the three of us.”
Yoongi gives up with a sigh, “congrats Kook, you beat me to it.”
“I’m the first one to do it here?” Jungkook gasps loudly enough that the others shush him.
“Her grandparents”, Yoongi whispers, pointing into the direction of their bedroom.
“I’m the first one to do it here?” Jungkook whispers, “oh my god, I’m such a perv.”
“You are the biggest perv”, Taehyung teases and snickers, “how wonderful was it?”
“It was amazing. Wow, I have butterflies” Jungkook gushes.
“Oh Kookie, this is making me so excited for my night with her.”
They both giggle excitedly.
“You two are idiots”, Yoongi whispers, “stop talking like this. She’s not a price to claim.”
“You joined us as well, hyung.”
“I only did so because you asked. Besides, if nothing happens I’m not gonna be disappointed. You guys are perverts.”
“Very well, I admit that we sounded very perverted. Please forgive us.”
“Mhm.”
“I can tell you that she talked about you guys and how she’s excited for whatever sexy thing you’ll get up to”, Jungkook says, “so she’s being a perv too, but you’re right sorry I talked about her like this.”
“Whatever”, Yoongi murmurs shyly.
Jungkook snickers and fills up the glasses. He takes a sip of his water and sighs contently.
“I’m upstairs then. ___ needs her water”, he says and steps closer to press a kiss to both Taehyung’s and then Yoongi’s lips, “sleep tight, you two”, he says and giggles, “I’m happy that you’re friends.”
And with that he leaves the kitchen with a confident sway in his hips. Taehyung and Yoongi watch him as he hurries upstairs and then distance drowns him out. It’s peculiar to them that they can’t hear how the door opens and closes or how Jungkook talks to you. Human hearing is truly so useless.
“So uhm”, Taehyung begins now that they are alone again, “what shall we do now, hyung? We cleaned everything.”
Yoongi touches the side of his neck, “I’m honestly kinda tired.”
“But hyung”, Taehyung pouts, “you promised me that we will continue the evening inside.”
“I know, but I’m tired. I don’t feel like talking anymore.”
“I’m so sad right now. Oh hyung please”, Taehyung takes Yoongi’s hand, “at least let us stay up for a little bit longer.”
“I’m sorry, Tae.”
Taehyung retreats his touch, “very well. Don’t clean the shower, I will use it after you.”
Yoongi steps closer and nudges Taehyung’s chin. The younger vampire looks at him with sad, puppy eyes.
“I had fun tonight. Yeah? Just too tired all of a sudden.”
Taehyung nods his head, allowing a small smile to wash over his face, “I had fun as well, hyung.”
Yoongi leaves soon after, but the evening wasn’t over yet. Taehyung decides so the second Yoongi disappeared upstairs. And so he waits, listening as best as his human ears allow him to. Yoongi takes around fifteen minutes in the bathroom and another five minutes taking a nightly pee. Then he can hear the guest bedroom door close.
Taehyung hurries upstairs and locks himself in the bathroom to take the quickest shower he ever took. He needs to be fast in order for Yoongi to still be awake.
Ten minutes after Yoongi got under the covers and comfortable for bed, a knock on the door alerts his attention. The door opens without his answer and in steps Taehyung.
“Hyung?”
Yoongi lowers his pen, studying Taehyung by the edge of the bed. He is wearing his pyjamas and carries his own notebook with a pen.
“What do you want?”
“Can I stay here with you tonight?”
“Why?”
“Because Jungkook and ___ are occupying her bed and I would have no place to sleep.”
“Fine…”
“Wonderful”, Taehyung says and gets on top of the bed, “we can keep each other warm”, he says and pulls the cover open to wiggle himself underneath it.
Yoongi watches him with a certain stiffness in his body. Taehyung sighs and grunts contently, shimmying closer to Yoongi until their arms touch.
“Do you have to do this?” Yoongi asks.
“Indeed, I do”, Taehyung says and sticks his naked feet under the leg of Yoongi’s pants.
“Yah! Put your icicle toes somewhere else”, Yoongi complains loudly, kicking at Taehyung’s feet.
“Warm me up, hyung”, Taehyung coos as he chases him.
“Yah stop it. You’re cold and I’m gonna kick you”, Yoongi warns as he still kicks his feet. He even lies down on his back for it, almost kicking off the blanket as he wiggles his legs.
Taehyung laughs and retreats his feet, “I apologise. The opportunity was just too easy not to take.”
“You’re such a brat”, Yoongi mumbles, sitting back up. He fixes the blanket on his legs and looks back into his notebook.
Taehyung snickers, agreeing with a nod of his head. He opens his notebook and clicks his pen.
“What are you working on, hyung?”
“Nothing. I write down what I think.”
“Like a diary?”
“I guess.”
“That’s very good, hyung. I promise not to peek.”
“Mhm”, Yoongi hums, looking at him with gratefulness, “you, uh, what are you doing?”
“Oh, I am just continuing work on ___’s bedroom sketches. I want to finish them before we leave this realm.”
“Okay. I want to listen to music. I don’t want to talk when I do.”
“I won’t stop you. I shall listen to my own music as well.”
“Okay”, Yoongi says and puts in earbuds. Taehyung slips on headphones and mere seconds later, the two men share one bed but otherwise no words. It is silent and comfortable. Each does their own thing whilst sharing space. Mere hours ago, such an occurrence would have been a lot more awkward.
They manage to get around an hour in and then Yoongi is the first to give up. He places his phone and earbuds on the bedside table together with his notebook and pen. He fluffs up his pillow next.
“Are you tired already?” Taehyung asks him.
“Mhm.”
“Do you mind if I still draw for a while? I will have to keep the lights on for it.”
“No, it’s okay”, Yoongi assures him and lies down. He wiggles for a bit to get comfortable, “good night”, he says and rolls to his side. Like this, his back is facing Taehyung.
One must know that this is the first time Yoongi shows himself like this in front of Taehyung. One must dearly remember this fact to perhaps understand why Taehyung can’t stop staring at his friend.
“Yes indeed. Have a good night, hyung”, he mumbles and turns down the light to make it easier for Yoongi to fall asleep. So this is how his friend looks when he attempts to fall asleep.
“The only reason I’m doing this is because I’m human right now and need sleep.”
“Of course hyung, I wouldn’t have dared to question you”, Taehyung says with a knowing smile on his lips.
“Good. Good night”, Yoongi says and grows silent.
“Sleep tight, hyung.”
Taehyung stares for a few moments, thinking to himself that Yoongi looks incredibly cute right now. He is resting in fetus position with his hands between his legs while the blanket covers him all the way to the back of his head. He looks even smaller than he actually is and Taehyung thinks that he is adorable. He stays quiet of course because he is aware that it would push Yoongi away if he tried to compliment him right now.
Around twenty minutes pass and then Taehyung gets sleepy as well. He discards his phone and notebook and turns off the lights. He gets comfortable in the pillow, staring into the darkness where he assumes Yoongi to sleep. It is so peculiar to not be able to see.
Taehyung tries to fall asleep, but fails because he has nothing to hug. He can’t find relaxation when he is so empty-handed.
Taehyung takes a deep breath for courage and reaches out. His fingers touch Yoongi’s back. It’s incredibly warm and tenses at the touch.
“Hyung?”
“What?”Yoongi whispers quietly.
“Did I wake you?”
“No.”
“I can’t fall asleep if I do not hug something. May I hug you?”
Yoongi exhales loudly, “if you have to.”
“Thank you, hyung”, Taehyung says and closes in on Yoongi. He drapes his right arm over him, pulling his small body against his chest. His legs lock with Yoongi’s perfectly, sharing warmth his way. Next he wiggles his left arm under Yoongi’s head, keeping it extended so both men are comfortable.
Yoongi is too sleepy to protest, letting it happen even if his brain is going crazy in panic. He never planned on being Taehyung’s little spoon and yet here they were.
“You are so comfortable, hyung”, Taehyung whispers, nuzzling his nose deep into the hair at the back of Yoongi’s head. He inhales deeply and hums.
“You’re so weird”, Yoongi murmurs, trying not to relax too much in case it comes off as needy. He’s not needy for Taehyung’s hugs. Not in a fucking million.
Taehyung ignores him for the sake of nuzzling and snuggling closer.
“What do you like best, hyung? Head pats, chest rubs or stomach rubs?”
“I’m allowing you to hug me, nothing more. Are we clear?”
“But hyung, I want to make you feel very cozy.”
“I appreciate it. Stay still. It’s cozy enough.”
Taehyung huffs out air, “very well.”
Yoongi tries to relax. He doesn’t feel sleepy when he is so tense and that means he has to relax. If he wanted to or not.
“I love back scratches most”, Taehyung breaks the silence in a soft spoken voice.
“Okay.”
“Yes, indeed. But if I am the small spoon, I love it most to have my chest rubbed. It is very relaxing to me.”
“Okay, Tae. I’m sure Kook and ___ will be very willing to give them to you.”
“Hyung”, Taehyung complains and pinches Yoongi’s side gently, “I am not attempting to romance you. Friends can give touches to each other as well.”
“Yeah? Well, I’m not fucking comfortable with having my torso touched, okay?”
“Truly?” Taehyung props himself up on his elbow. It results in Yoongi’s head rolling closer to his chest naturally. He doesn’t fix it, “so why have I seen ___ rub your stomach before? And Kook caress your chest?”
“Because…” Yoongi rolls his head away, “I don’t gotta tell you.”
“Do you need time to grow comfortable around people’s touches?”
“Yes. You’ve known me for how long? You know that I do.”
“Do I make you genuinely uncomfortable right now?”
“I don’t know. I don’t want my torso to be touched by you yet.”
“I understand. I apologise for asking so many questions. I want to get to know you better.”
Yoongi hesitates. Taehyung listens to the deep inhale he does and how much deeper he seems to exhale. His back presses against his chest as he breathed.
“Just go to sleep, Tae.”
Taehyung drops back into the pillow and pulls Yoongi closer. The older man needs a moment to relax, but as those moments turn into two, three and four he finally grows soft in Taehyung’s hold. Taehyung wonders how much time passed between these moments, but it must have been a while because Yoongi’s breathing slowed down by now. But Taehyung still isn’t tired. His thoughts are racing, as is his heart.
“Yoongi?” he tries quietly.
Yoongi sighs, “what?”
“I can’t fall asleep.”
“Yeah? I can.”
“I keep thinking and it is keeping me awake.”
Yoongi sighs again, “do you wanna talk about it?”
“Maybe.”
“Fine. Tell me.”
“Why did you hate me for so long?”
Yoongi shifts, “this is what you’re thinking about?”
“Yes. I apologise, but I can’t stop.”
“I didn’t hate you. At least not since some time.”
“So why did you act so annoyed by me all the time?”
“I don’t know. I guess”, Yoongi stays silent for a while as he thinks, “it’s hard for me to let you in because whenever I did, you disappointed me.”
“I see.”
“And I’m still scared that you’re gonna hurt ___ and Kook one day. That I’m gonna let you in and trust you and then you suddenly have a change of heart and decide to become a reckless cunt again and hurt them in the process.”
“I see.”
“That’s why it’s hard for me to shed my feelings off. I want to believe so hard that you are better”, Yoongi says and touches Taehyung’s hand.
The latter has to gasp for air at the touch, feeling as if time slows down. It stands still completely when seconds later, Yoongi begins fumbling with his fingers. Mindlessly yet gently.
“But if I’m wrong? If you’re gonna hurt them and become wicked again? Then I let you in only to be disappointed again”, Yoongi exhales shakily, “for fuck’s sake Tae, please just don’t disappoint me again.”
“I don’t want to disappoint you, hyung”, Taehyung whispers, “and I want to be better from now on. There were many occasions where I was controlled by Namjoon. I hope you are aware of those occasions.”
“I am and I’m not blaming you for them. There were also too many where you acted out of your own free will.”
“I am aware of them and I will remember them so I can better myself. Please believe me, hyung. I want to be better from now on. Not only for the sake of ___ and Kook and Jimin, but also for your sake. I want to be a worthy friend of yours, hyung. One you can rely on and trust.”
Yoongi acknowledges him with a nod of his head. He drops Taehyung’s fingers to instead, close his hand around his’. Gently and without pressure.
“I’m sure that you will be, kiddo. Hyung’s always wished for your best”, Yoongi says in their native tongue. The underlying honesty of speaking in one’s native language, the language closest to the heart, doesn’t go unnoticed by Taehyung.
“Hyung”, Taehyung breathes shakily, fighting tears.
“Fuck”, Yoongi lets out a breathy chuckle, “you’re a bastard for making me talk about my feelings when I’m fucking sleepy. I turn into an honest sap.”
Taehyung giggles, sniffling his tears away.
“I enjoy this a lot, hyung. It’s so difficult to get affection from you.”
“That’s not true. I show affection. Just not like you, you public sap.”
Taehyung chuckles, “now you are just saying stuff for the sake of saying them.”
“Brat”, Yoongi murmurs and chuckles softly, “now go to sleep, Tae. It’ll get too late and we’ll be tired as fuck tomorrow.”
“I will try, but I don’t know if I will be successful. My heart is racing terribly after what you said.”
Yoongi chuckles, “try to”, he says breathily and grows softer in Taehyung’s arms.
Taehyung snuggles into Yoongi, closing his eyes while his lips refuse to drop their smile. He is so happy that he feels like bursting in fireworks and sparkles.
The last thing Yoongi does before he falls asleep is to intertwine his fingers with Taehyung. He isn’t awake anymore for the small gasp of disbelief Taehyung releases or the whispered “hyung” he lets out. Sleep has dragged him away and soon, oh so very soon because he finally has something to hold, Taehyung follows.
The night will be peaceful and neither of the two men will leave the hug for even one second.
#yoongi fluff#taehyung fluff#bts fluff#bangtan fluff#bts fanfic#bangtan fanfic#yoongi fanfic#taehyung fanfic#bts fanfiction#bangtan fanfiction#yoongi fanfiction#taehyung fanfiction#yoongi x reader#yoongi x you#taehyung x reader#taehyung x you#jungkook x yoongi#jungkook x taehyung#jungkook x reader#jungkook x you#bts x reader#bangtan x reader#fanfic: caerula luna
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I’ve been meaning to ask this for a minute now- so fuck it.
In BitterSweet we know that Seth’s mom (Jessie) left him behind without a trace or coming back for Seth. Can we know WHY she left? Like was Seth’s dad abusive to her too or did she leave because she felt held back and wanted a better life??
Also, I gotta know more inside idea of her leaving and leaving Seth. Did Jessie think Seth would be ok if she left him, or did she have no choice but to leave him?
(Granted I’m not excusing what she did- and she’s still a bad mom- but I’m just asking)
The short answer is, I don't really know! There's a laundry list of reasons that would fit, and I think this is one of those cases where the narrative benefits from a lack of detail.
Someone out there looks at Jessie and sees their mom, or dad, or anyone who bailed on them when they needed them. Sure there's probably a straw that broke the camel's back, but we don't really benefit from knowing it.
That, and I can't pretend to know what would really possess someone to make a choice like that. I can guess. I can imagine, or attribute things that I've heard and learned. But I don't know.
What I do know, is that Seth went on to hurt Alphonse despite having the best intentions. He literally manipulated and treated Al like shit, all because he justified it with thinking he'd eventually save the two of them from a shitty life and be his savior.
And that boy is a lot like his mama.
So maybe she had a plan. Maybe it was hard. Maybe it was supposed to be different.
Or maybe she's just a cold mother fucker.
If it ends up coming up and I need a specific answer, maybe that changes. But I like leaving a few blanks for people to attribute to her whatever they need to. If she represents something irredeemable because it's what your heart feels when you experience her story, the viewer should get to keep that and let it be valid.
If you have a hardened heart towards someone like her, I don't want to try and convince you the people who treated you that way deserve forgiveness or your time.
It will he slightly different with Seth's dad, who quite literally might be even more irredeemable in people's eyes, I'd argue he definitely is, he's been an abusive hateful fuck. But I also laid the ground work in chapter 2 for some sort of redemption.
That one is for me, not so much for the audience. And fuck, somebody has to try and solve a problem without violence, indifference, or avoidance in this damn story eventually or how fucking hollow is every supposed lesson they've learned?
Jessie is, unfortunately, gonna have to hold the L. I don't hate her and probably do view her in a light that offers more grace than most, but I'm a "try to find the good" motherfucker sometimes. And that's after a long time of not being that guy.
I haven't written someone like Seth's dad before. I don't know how I'll feel. Much like how Seth doesn't really know how to feel. I imagine that despite all the nastiness, there's at least a grain of hope because at least pops is taking action, trying, and showing real improvement. So even if his sins were greater, and it took losing his whole family to get a wake up call, he made more effort than Jessie ever did.
I want think that's worth something. It doesn't mean it's all better and forgotten and forgiven. I'd never go that route. But there's room for something better than just emptiness.
Which are all conclusions you should hopefully arrive at if you've bought into the trio and their story. If not personally, then at least enough to believe that Seth would want to try and salvage something from the wreckage.
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Girlie, make dating headcannons pt 2 Including Sunday, Gambling Peacock, Yanqing's father and Broody Criminal!! Stay hydrated and take as many days as you need.
yesyes ofc!! 😻😻 (idk who broody criminal is but i think it's blade so i'm gna do blade!)
hsr relationship headcannons ୨୧ (pt. 2!!)
cw: lowercase intended (✿^‿^), fluff fluff fluffy fluff 🧘🏽♀️, established relationship for all, cutesy nicknames used, gender neutral!reader, betting/gambling(??), mentions of trauma, aventurine's has a hint of angst, mentions of marriage, husband!jing yuan, yanqing is basically u and jing yaun's son, mentions of mimi (jing yuan's lion), like... 1 mention of fu xuan and yukong, sleepy jing yuan as always :3, stellaron hunter!reader (blade's ofc), blade is being broody as always, the grumpy x sunshine shines thru w/ blade and reader
characters included: sunday, aventurine, jing yuan, blade
sunday ♡
- he's kind of... possessive??
- not in the yandere way, but in a way where his feelings to protect you kind of get a bit much sometimes
- like how he is with robin but in a different way bc he's your boyfie !!
- but he obviously very much loves you and would go out of his way to protect you, even if he had to sacrifice his life for u ^.^ so romantic
- he also spoils u ^_^ always making sure that ur comfortable ☺️☺️
- u want that new pair of shoes? oh, don't worry, he's already ordered it and it'll be coming to your house soon.
- u want that new skirt? he's whipping out his card SO FAST.
"it's not even that cold, sunday!"
sunday could smell your bullshit from a mile away, and all he could let out was a sigh. "y/n, you're being quite..." he trails off, trying to find a word to describe you in this moment.
giving up on that endeavor, he huffs, his wings' feathers ruffling from his slight irritation. "you're really going to be wearing a miniskirt in winter? it's snowing, and it's -20 degrees out." (a/n: that's -4°F for any american readers (✿^‿^))
you raise an eyebrow, making eye contact with your boyfriend through the mirror you were using to do your makeup. "some days, skirts need to be the size of a belt." you reply, applying mascara to your eyelashes. "life's too short not to take risks, sunday." with your mascara all applied, you move to applying some vaseline, then your lipgloss on top.
"what if you get sick?" your boyfriend asks, looking in the mirror to make sure his already perfectly ironed clothes had any wrinkles, or if his already shining halo had any dust on it. "you can get sick, even in the dreamscape."
"they'll be fine, brother." robin adds as she sits on the couch, trying to find something to watch as she snuggles up in a blanket. "but y/n, if you get cold, come right back home. don't want you to get sick, we have to record that collaboration album."
feeling like you're being mother hen'd a little bit too much, you sigh. "i'll be fine, robin. but i bet you 10,000 credits i won't get sick! i'm even wearing those thermal tights you got me underneath so my legs won't get cold."
your boyfriend and his sister smirk. "bring it on."
"ah fuck, my manager's gonna hate me... sorry, angela." you grumble under your breath, another coughing fit viscously assaulting your lungs with surprisingly harsh vigour.
grabbing your phone from your nightstand, you send your boyfriend 10,000 credits, as the bet was stated. not that he wasn't rich enough, this was just pocket change to him.
"y/n!"
you visibly light up seeing robin in the doorway of you and sunday's room, a bowl of piping hot soup in one hand, a cup of hot cocoa in the other. "hey, robin. is that soup?" the halovian nods, a smile on her face. "yes! sunday made the soup for you."
"sister, i told you i was going to bring to the soup to them, why did you-"
"you snooze, you lose, brother!" the singer exclaims, giving you your hot cocoa and placing the bowl of soup on the nightstand.
sunday came inside your room, mask and gloves on. you giggle at the sight, and that leads into a bit of a coughing fit. "sunday, honey... did you have to wear gloves?"
your boyfriend scoffs. "i'm not trying to catch a cold from you." he replies, but he slips his mask down a little to press his lips against your burning forehead in a soft kiss. "you get better, okay?"
chuckling, you wave him off. "i will, i will! love you~"
sunday leaves the room, mumbling something in reply.
"love you too, dove."
aventurine ♡
- literally the worst (best) boyfriend u could ever have
- and he bever really knew what love felt like because of all the suffering and trauma he went through
- but now that he has you, his beloved partner, he knows what it's like to be loved. and now he can give it back to you so it's just a beautiful cycle of love and happiness!! (ㆁωㆁ)
- much like sunday, always spoils u
- but with aven it's 100, if not 100000 times more (he feels like the gifts make up for how busy his schedule is with the ipc)
"'m sorry doll." your boyfriend tiredly mumbles, pressing a sleepy kiss to your neck as soon as you came to greet him at the door. "here, take this, angel. got you a lil' something."
aeons, he's so happy he's home. home to his pretty little partner who he loves to spoil.
when you open the velvety box he slipped into your hands, you see a beautiful necklace. thin gold chain with a shimmering emerald as its centerpiece. "aventurine, you really didn't have to-"
"think of it as an apology for me being so busy. you know how the ipc gets, making me run all around penacony."
you raise an eyebrow, sighing. "aven, i think i have the perfect way to get you to relax."
— — —
"ohhhh that feels good..." the blonde moans in relaxation, the feeling of your fingers scrubbing gently at his scalp making him wanna just melt into the hot water and disintegrate. "feels so good, y/n, you have absolutely no idea."
he's starting to understand why dr. ratio loves his baths so much.
"i'm just trying to make you feel better after that buisness trip, aventurine. i know it took a toll on you." you reply, rinsing his hair free of the shampoo. "okay, close your eyes and mouth, gonna rinse.
the gambler complies with your gentle command, his eyes and mouth shutting as you were rinsing his tresses, his hair shining like liquid gold in the fluorescent lighting of your bathroom — hm, fitting. you think to yourself.
as you get ready for bed, aventurine hugs you from behind as you're doing your skincare routine. "call me kakavasha from now on." he whispers into your ear.
you're surprised. floored, even. you knew about aventurine's past, knew what name the weight carries with him. aventurine, one of the ten stonehearts of the ipc, who always shone as bright as a diamond and who captured attention like how a peacock would get when he ruffled his feathers.
well, kakavasha to you, aventurine to the rest of the cosmos.
"are-" you pause, looking into his borderline hypnotizing eyes for a second or two for his assurance. "are you sure, aven? i don't want to trigger anything."
he presses a fleeting kiss to your temple. "i'm sure, babe. and plus, i'm gonna have to get used to you calling me kakavasha before we get married!"
and before you can respond, he's gone, slinking away to your shared bedroom, in his stupidly soft silk pyjamas. slick bastard.
"okay, kakavasha." you call back out, fond smile on your face.
jing yuan ♡
- he, like aventurine, is quite busy due to his job, but he also has a lot of other priorities
- training yanqing, taking care of mimi, etc. (even though taking care of mimi is a shared effort between you and your man, you love that lion.)
- but he doesn't travel as much as aventurine, so he gets to spend more time with you, thank goodness ^_^
- but yanqing might as well become you and jing yuan's fully adopted child.
"jing yuan, i thought we'd give him the set of swords for his birthday!"
"my love, he deserved it earlier for helping me defeat all those mara struck soldiers. isn't that right, yanqing?"
yanqing, who was half asleep while watching his parents the general and his spouse argue, immediately straightened up, nodding his head. "y-yes, general!" he exclaims, like it was on instinct.
and you can't help but let out a laugh, patting yanqing on his back. "it's okay, yanqing, go back to sleep."
the retainer yawns, all groggy. "okay..."
he reminds me of mimi... you think to yourself, a picture of the lion yawning playing in your mind.
feeling eyes watching you in the back of your head, you turn around to see your husband, jing yuan, watching you with his signature ':3' smirk.
"honey, what are you plotting?" you ask, shrugging off your jacket to place over yanqing as he sleeps.
a low chuckle resounds around the room, the sound playful. "nothing, dearest. now, come nap with me. i've missed you."
you roll your eyes, yet you end up in his arms anyways. "so we're only going to give yanqing those new clothes for his birthday?"
no response.
"jing yuan?"
again, no response. then, a thump that lands on your shoulder.
a sigh escapes you, and you lean to pat your now half asleep husband's head. "you're supposed to meet with fu xuan in 15 minutes..."
"get yukong to go in my place." your husband mumbles back, pressing a kiss to your lips before pulling you into his lap. "sleep, my love."
blade ♡
- he may not say it a lot, but he does love you
- he's an 'actions speak louder than words' type of guy
- but not a lot of physical affection either, he doesn't want to suddenly go mara struck and hurt you, he thinks he's going to taint you
- so fleeting touches shall do
- he'll also do things to make your day more convenient
- if you're tired from a mission, he'll make you some tea
- or if you've been overworking yourself, he'll take on your mission in your place
- the other stellaron hunters tease you (except for firefly she's the sweetest)
- ESPECIALLY kafka. this woman takes so much pleasure in teasing you two.
"oh~? seems like you've gone soft, bladie."
blade's eye twitches, and he stiffens underneath her touch as she bandages him up. "just hurry up and bandage me, kafka. it has to be done before y/n sees, they'll have a heart attack if they see me like this."
beneath his indifferent, cold facade, blade cared about you. and kafka knew that.
"okay, okay... them, firefly, and silver wolf are on their way... the script says they should be coming in—"
"we're back!"
you step in with a smile on your face, bags in your hands.
blade sits there as you scold him, letting out a sigh. "i always get hurt on missions, what's new? i only have more scars to add to my growing collection."
but that smile disappears when you see blade's state. bandages all over his torso and arms, blood seeping through them.
— — —
"i know you have your healing abilities, but putting yourself in harm's way like that? seriously, blade?!"
your boyfriend looks at you with a glare, crossing his arms over his chest stoically. "i get hurt every mission, what's new? the only thing i gain is more scars to the already growing collection."
nor surprised by his lack of care to his own health, you sigh. "blade, just... just let me take care of you..." cupping his cheek with your hand, you kiss his lips.
and blade would rather die than admit it, but when you pressed your soft lips against his chapped ones, he felt fireworks in his belly that weren't welcomed.
"tch, whatever..."
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12/30/2023: LRLG Update
i didn’t expect this omg. and so early in the morning? thank you for sending this to us right now instead of 31st and as if yesterday wasn’t busy enough so they do this to us now. i’m looking at the 9:05 kadian tho. maybe they wanted to get that as well.
and it’s so long too! this one is basically your usual scenarios of either them together or talking to each other over the phone. i’m not giving too much commentary, just enjoy it for what it is and this feels like one of those lrlg that won’t make much sense till something happens after. and that’s the best kind of fake rumor, when we think nothing of it now but it turns out to be crucial in the future.
anyway, let us see what’s going on here. ⬇️⬇️⬇️
WYB: "Oh, don't do this"
XZ: "cute"
WYB: "Don't send it"
XZ: "Yeah, okay, okay"
👩🦳: "Water soaked astragalus"
XZ: "Looks like cold medicine
👩🦳: "The only difference is that this one won't melt."
XZ: "Can this even be eaten?"
👩🦳: "Well...theoretically it's possible"
WYB: "It's all soaked in water, so don't eat the dregs."
XZ: "I'm done with your wisdom."
WYB: "You're not allowed to say anything?"
XZ: “I don’t want to be honest and say it directly.”
WYB: "oh".
* I don’t know what the hell they could possibly be talking about here which is normal for LRLG scenarios lol. maybe we will know more as the days and months pass by!
====
XZ: "Didn't you order fruit?"
WYB: “Isn’t it here? You ordered before ordering food.”
XZ: “Who ordered it?”
WYB: "You're not looking"
XZ: "I was looking at what I wanted to eat and I didn't order anything."
👩🦳: "Uh...we thought you two ordered it but we didn't."
WYB: "Order now to finish your meal."
👩🦳: "Okay, I'll order now"
XZ: "You don't need to eat."
WYB: "My interface can't be switched for that long."
WYB: "I thought you just ordered it."
WYB: "Isn't it because Brother X is not causing trouble here?"
WYB: "But I ordered coffee for you."
WYB: "I will give you some fruit now. It will definitely arrive after dinner."
XZ: "No, I won't eat today.
XZ: “This dish is of a good quality, please try it”
👩🦳: “I ordered it before and the boss said it was delicious. I’ll order one for you to try.”
XZ: “The food is average”
WYB: "Hey, it's objective."
* XZ being the picky eater 😂😂😂 it still warms my heart how they make a big deal of having a meal with each other and include the staff.
=====
👩🦳: "It's all on the inside and outside. If there's something wrong, I'll correct it directly."
XZ: "Relax, your boss is easy to work with."
👩🦳: 😳
WYB: "He's just so easy to get along with now. Once you get to know him, you won't notice anymore.
XZ: I said you.
WYB: Oh
👩🦳: you are really good
* I’m cry laughing omggggg 😂😂😂 wyb be clowning and implying that XZ is gonna be a good boss now but maybe more strict in the future. Not knowing that XZ was actually talking about him ( yibo ) being easy to work with. AHHHHHH! Yibo is good boss!!!!
======
this next part is them playing and wyb is like, i will take you ( xz ) to fight. and xz is eye roll emoji. lol. i can’t help but think about that bts where xz says wyb gets happiness over him losing 😂😂😂
======
WYB: Come on, transfer the money
XZ: No money
WYB: Then I'll buy something and you can pay for it on my behalf
XZ: No money
WYB: I have with my strengths
XZ: Then based on my strengths i don’t have money
WYB: You can't keep saying ‘no money’
XZ: Then send it to me
WYB: And then what?
XZ: Then I have money
WYB: Yes
* LOL XZ! No money? aren’t you the god of wealth???
======
WYB: "Is this frozen?"
👩🦳: "This is the effect produced by palm wax"
WYB: "Like ice
👩🦳: “It’s fun”
WYB: "How many are there?"
👩🦳: "Made five"
WYB: "give me one"
👩🦳: "For both of you"
👩🦳: “With added essential oils”
* here we go again with WYB and his love for candles with essential oils! and i love how the person is talking to immediately offers to give two for both of them, so whoever this is knows about it. we don’t know if the person is their staff or an acquaintance.
and later on, it’s implied that they are on video call
WYB: "Look at the magic"
WYB:“Does it look like it’s frozen?”
WYB:"I asked for one XX for you and gave two."
WYB: "Wait until I send you one and then take one home."
* my god! it’s so cute!!! The mundane things that make them happy and talk about!
then the woman says what she has is not enough and will make more.
====
this next part is full of WYB speaking.
"No, no need to wait, I'll tell you."
“It’s super cold but I’m okay and I can survive it.”
"I've been telling you for a long time. Did you hear me cough?"
"Oh, you are like Wangwang senbei, I can't compare to you."
"If you say it looks good, then it looks good."
“Look at me, look at me”
“is this okay”
“Can you just take a screenshot?”
"What expression should I take later?"
“Did you see what I'm wearing? Can you choose something serious?”
* I’m imagining WYB showing off his outfits to XZ for his recent red carpet events. Even if they are not together, look at them always taking the time to talk and be present for each other 🥹🥹🥹🥹
=====
the last convo is wyb talking to his staff and the topic is someone’s dog and it’s being shown to WYB.
=====
lrlg gives us a small message and talks about the end of the year and how all tasks should be finished, but most importantly they wish us : Happy New Year. Getting better and better!
which is zz and wyb’s usual message and wish for themselves and other people.
-END.
#yizhan#bjyx#there is no science here i’m just clowning i always do#sorry this seems rushed!!! i literally have to take a shower and be out the door lol#what a great day!!!!#they have really been spoiling us in the days leading up to the end of year!
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Cubby - Yan!Ghost x Fem!Reader
CW: NSFW mentions, Yandere themes, Possession, NOT fandom related
Note: I haven't had any requests to write and my bigger storylines I haven't had muses for, but I don't want to lose my writing spark and crap out. So! Here we are.
Please, feel free to drop any request you have in my inbox ^^ It looks like Papyrus's mail as of now hehe
Something important I must mention!! Ghosts age in this world.
Bumps in the night always spooked you as a kid. Paired with the silent and dark room you were supposed to be kept in, the only comfort you sought was the cold chill that came to your side.
You called him Cubby. Mostly because your visions of him were that of a lion cub's head upon a boy's body. He was just fine with his nickname, even if at first he insisted to be called Benji.
As you grew, you merely assumed your imaginary friend would go away. You'd move, know new friends, even try new activities. And yet, Cubby was always there with you. Even if you'd forgotten to talk to him or even look his way.
It wasn't until you brought your first real boyfriend over at 19 that Cubby lost his innocent feelings for you.
Oh, but this wasn't a case of love lost... This was a case of passion.
Whenever your partner would start anything sexual with you, Benji would throw something breakable or flicker the lights. If that didn't happen to work, well... A few nightmares are more than effective at destroying the sexual tension.
The absolute last straw was when he appeared himself as a shadowy figure watching you two. Your partner's lips were caressing your neck, though they stopped in horror upon seeing his form.
"What the FUCK is that?!" "What? There's nothing there, love! I-" "Nonono, I've HAD IT!"
Just like that, they're pulling up their pants and shuffling out of the apartment. "I am NEVER coming over again (Y/N), do you hear me?! Every time I come to fuck you, some freaky ass shit happens and I'm tired of it! Some fuckin' curse is cockblocking me and you know what? You can live with that! I'm not gonna deal with all that!"
The next few hours were spent crying on your soft bed. You couldn't bear the thought of having your first shot at losing your first time being cursed to fail.
When familiar cold hands hold yours, you look up to see... A man? A lion mask laid right next to him, with a kind green within his eyes. "Did your date not go well, (N/N)?"
"...I know you chased them off, Benji."
"I did you a favor! If anything, you should thank me for chasing off someone only after your body!"
"You didn't know them... How could you-"
"Because I've known you since we were kids. You're a stunning lady now... Men and women are going to want to take what you have and leave you to die. But..." He pulled you into an embrace, "I would never chase someone who truly loved you away."
And he does keep to his word! It's just too bad that every partner you've had didn't love you enough into his eyes. Your last partner really irked him...
The only one who earned enough of his ire to have him killed.
Taking control of their body, he walks them all the way to a nearby zoo. Slipping through the safeguards and bars, Benji slips back out of their body and leaves them within the exhibit's cage.
"Man found mauled inside of the Sea Lion attraction!" The headline reads from your notifications. You couldn't believe it when your partner's face was paired next to the famed sea lions of the zoo.
"Why would they do it... They love animals, but they'd never..." Benji's hand holds your shoulder, "Some people just get way too comfortable messing with animals, (N/N)..."
Here's some extra art of Cubby/Benji for your enjoyment!
#yandere crush#yandere x reader#yandere#reader insert#imagines#x reader#yandere x y/n#yandere x darling#yandere x you#yandere ghost#yandere oc
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Don´t hurt yourself
Chaprter 4 - Apathy
Masterlist
Previously chapter
Warnings: mention of cheating, angst, swearing, mention of miscarriage, mention of blood and hospital, alcohol use. This chapther it may be triggering for some people
Words: 4.337
“So what are you gonna say at my funeral, now that you've killed me? Here lies the body of the love of my life, whose heart I broke without a gun to my head. Here lies the mother of my children, both living and dead. Rest in peace, my true love, who I took for granted. Most bomb p*ssy who, because of me, sleep evaded. Her god listening. Her heaven will be a love without betrayal.
Ashes to ashes, dust to side chicks.”
August
"The physical pain is a gentle breeze compared to the emotional pain that engulfs me now. The contractions still echo through my body like violent waves, and tears continue to stream down my face. But none of this compares to the tightness I feel in my chest. The image of what happened before still haunts my mind like a nightmare that won't go away.
It lasted so little, I didn't even have a chance to know him, to hear his voice, admire his eyes, feel his warmth against mine. I will never know which one of us he would have resembled more. My dearest dream has turned into a nightmare.
They promised me that this would be the last exam, just to make sure I don't have any residue left inside me.
"Residue". That's what he became.
I go through all the procedures while being completely on autopilot, I no longer care where they take me, the smell of ether is already ingrained in me and everything seems like a loop of the same thing. Doctors come and go from my field of vision, their voices distant as if they were whispers.
A lot of blood lost, they said.
I think of Lewis, I think I saw him this morning, but I'm not sure, dreams are becoming more and more similar to reality. I don't know if I can trust my mind.
"Mrs. Hamilton? Do you hear me?"
The doctor stares at me, even though he is close, the sound of his voice feels like it's coming from miles away. I try to focus on the moment but it's almost impossible.
"We can search for treatments for your condition, but for now, the best course of action would be for you to refrain from attempting a new pregnancy. So that we can investigate and make the best decision before proceeding with anything else." He pauses before continuing, perhaps waiting for a question. I must have a million of them, but I can't even manage to utter my own name now. “I will call your husband, if everything goes well, you'll be discharged by morning. I'll be around if you need me.”
I watch him leave the room, the hole in my chest makes me feel absolutely nothing, which ends up being more comforting than the suffering I felt when I came across all that blood. I go back to staring at the white ceiling and hope this all passes soon.”
There is nothing more exhausting than loving for two.
I look at the diamond that even after six years, still shines brightly on my ring finger. It would be so much easier if there was no love, but it seems like love was the only thing that remained, even if only on one side.
Everything else has gone away; happiness, respect, attention. The only thing that remains will be the hardest to let go, love.
How does she look through the eyes of my husband? How does he see her? Certainly very different from me, certainly much better than me.
I don't know if I want to forgive him for what he did, but I also don't want to regret not having tried to fight for us both. Forgiving him would mean accepting what happened and trying to move forward together. On the other hand, moving forward without him would mean trying to heal on my own and leaving him behind.
But I don't want to be alone, and I don't want to lose him, even though the feeling that dominates me now is that I have been alone for much longer than I thought.
I stare at the cold coffee on my table, I thought I'd be rested and that I'd be able to think more clearly after a night of sleep, but I couldn't sleep for even a minute, and today things seem even more confusing and painful than yesterday.
"I don't think you should ask for a divorce"
"What?!"
"Put an end to this and move on."
I stare at the woman sitting in front of me as if she had just said the most absurd thing in the world. And it really sounded that way.
“Can't you see the state I am in right now?”
“Yes, your sadness today is clear to me. Just like your happiness almost blinded me during these seven years.”
The cafeteria is more crowded than usual, people are moving back and forth, most seem late for appointments. Emma and I are the contrast to these people, we've been sitting for hours, and many of those minutes have been spent in complete silence. For some reason she was the person I called as soon as I woke up from the worst night of my life.
Emma became practically my confidante over the years. I met her shortly after moving to Monaco, on the first day of my new job. She has always been kind, always seemed to understand me, and it didn't take long for her to become more than just a work colleague. Even after leaving the company after a few years, I didn't stop keeping in touch with her.
I know she has been married for over 30 years, and I also know that she is a very intelligent woman. So it made sense to me to arrange this meeting.
"Have you been through this?”
She says with such certainty that I should forgive him that it's almost like a confession.
“I've been married for thirty-two years. What do you think?"
"And was it like that? Did you just forgive him?”
“No. It was a lot of struggle, we almost gave up.”
“What happened?”
“I was pregnant when he told me he was in love with someone else and wanted to leave me. Can you imagine that?"
Emma is one of the sweetest people I know. Imagining her going through that makes me even more disturbed.
“How did I not know about this?”
“No one knows about it. I promised myself I wouldn't tell a soul.”
“Why are you telling me now?"
"Because you need to.” The woman continues to stare at me as she takes a small sip of her cappuccino. “No one can make the decision for you. But know that if you take him back, you will have to forget what happened and never bring it up again. On the other hand, you can achieve so much more together.”
I rest my head in my hands. I thought this conversation would bring clarity, but I'm even more confused now.
"I don't know, Emma. It's so complicated.”
"It's not easy, Y/n. It's a marriage, everything requires sacrifices. And sometimes those sacrifices are our principles. But if you love each other and want to give it another try, the rest can be fixed."
The thoughts and possibilities rush through me so quickly that I can't focus on just one. I promised myself I wouldn't go through this, but experiencing it firsthand, it's much more complex than I imagined. It's not just a simple 'yes' or 'no'. What's at stake is much bigger.
"Why don't you go out with some friends? It'll help clear your mind. Sometimes a hangover makes us think better about life."
I chuckle at your unusual request.
"I don't think that's a good idea. I'm exhausted."
"Staying in this spiral of sadness and doubt that he put you in won't help you, that I know."
I look at the woman in front of me for a few seconds, but I don't respond to her. The idea doesn't sound as absurd as it did seconds ago, but I don't think my exhaustion and melancholy would allow me to do something like that.
The woman gives me a kind smile, but I can sense pity in her gaze, which only makes me feel more ashamed and guilty.
"I need to go now," she says.
Emma gets up and grabs her coat, and I do the same.
"Thank you for listening to me.”
"You're welcome. You know I'm here for you anytime.”
As we leave the coffee shop, I feel the cold wind of the day wrapping around me. I put on my coat before turning to the woman one last time. Emma pulls me into a hug that I wasn't expecting, but I nestle into her arms, grateful for the chance to see her and for her willingness to help me.
"You'll know what to do when the time is right. And know that you'll never be alone, no matter what decision you make," her voice comes out softly in the midst of our embrace.
"Thank you so much," I say.
We part, and Emma continues to look at me for a moment before she starts to move. I watch her leave the street as she walks away calmly.
I get into the G-Wagon parked in front of the café, and I spend a few minutes staring at the steering wheel in my hands. I don't feel like going home. Even though he's not there, the idea of being surrounded by his things and his scent makes me anxious.
I look around the car and can visualize him in the passenger seat, with his mischievous smile and sparkling eyes. I remember how we used to travel together, planning adventures and sharing laughter along the way. Now, everything feels different.
I left everything behind to come here, to rebuild my life by his side. I faced different people, different cultures, a different language, but I had him by my side, so I didn't mind the barriers I encountered. Because I knew everything would be okay as long as I was with him. I've never regretted leaving what I left behind, even though I left a lot.
I contemplate before reaching for my bag and taking out my phone.I skip through all the unread messages from Lewis and go to her name in my contacts list. I feel anxious as I wait for the call to be answered.
-
The amber liquid goes down my throat, burning, but it burns less than the last shot seconds ago.
I slam the glass back on the round table and pop the small slice of lemon into my mouth, feeling the sour taste cut through the burning sensation of the drink.
I've lost count of how many of these I've had already. But I don't care about drinking too much now, because for the first time in weeks, I don't feel as suffocated.
I could become an alcoholic if it meant finding some peace from my own thoughts.
I reach for my phone inside my bag and stare at the lock screen. The small icon of his photo stares back at me.
“35 New messages”
Since yesterday they haven't stopped coming. I haven't responded to our conversation, but I can still read the messages. A mix of “please” and “let's talk” and a bunch of other things that make me want to drink even more.
Alessia sits back in front of me after returning from the bar with a drink in her hand. She notices my serious expression and looks at me with attentive eyes.
"Are you going to tell me what happened now?" She asks, leaning towards me.
The busy bar isn't too far from Alessia's place, and the bustle around us are louder than I'd prefer. The piano music plays softly, and despite the chatter of people, I can still hear Alessia's words clearly. Ever since we met at this bar, Alessia has been trying to get out of me what she knows is wrong.
She knows me very well. Too well, I would say. It would be impossible to keep something as significant as this a secret from her, but I don't want to have to talk about it at the only time I can deceive myself and pretend it's not happening.
"It's complicated. I don't think here is the right time or place. I just want to be able to drink with my best friend tonight."
Alessia tilts her head, studying me intently. She knows I'm avoiding it, but she's also familiar with my stubbornness.
"Okay. But you're going to have to talk to me sooner or later."
I nod at her as I put my phone back in my bag.
"Tell me. How are the preparations for the move going?" I ask her.
I try to shift the topic of conversation, and fortunately, I succeed. Alessia's eyes light up when I mention my curiosity.
"An organized mess." She responds with a smile. "Everything is in chaos in the gallery, with boxes everywhere. I'm moving just a few blocks away but it feels like I'm moving to another country with so much to do. But I'm really glad I got that spot."
I can't help but smile as I listen to her. I know how much she's been looking forward to this moment, and her joy is contagious.
"The location is perfect, it will help a lot with business.”
"Well, I hope so. This effort has to be worth something. At least it's almost over."
"Do you already have the opening date?"
She nods as she takes a sip of her drink.
"I organized the inauguration cocktail even before starting the move." I chuckle with her. "It's going to be on Saturday. So make sure to arrange to go."
"Of course, I will."
The conversation with Alessia flows for a few more minutes as we share laughs and more drinks.
I'm already feeling buzzed, but the more we talk and drink, the calmer I feel. We're immersed in our conversation when the waiter suddenly approaches, placing an elegant glass on the table in front of me. The transparent liquid inside the glass shines under the soft bar light.
"A dry martini for the lady," the waiter says with a smile, pushing the glass towards me.
"I didn't order that." I say to the waiter, looking confused.
The waiter points to a man sitting at one of the high stools at the bar, who looks our way and raises his whisky glass in a suggestive gesture. He appears to be in his early thirties, with dark hair and a mischievous smile on his face.
"It was the gentleman at the bar who ordered it for you," the waiter explains before walking away.
I look back at the man in the bar, surprised, as he gazes at me with a confident look. He raises his whisky glass in a suggestive toast.
Alessia glances at the man and then turns her inquisitive gaze back to me, clearly confused about what's happening. I shrug and take a sip of the drink, trying to appear indifferent. The bitter taste of the drink mixed with the sensation of the ice in my mouth makes me realize that it's a well-made martini.
“Jesus, either he didn't notice this giant diamond on your finger, or he's confident enough to be an asshole.”
“Maybe he's just curious.”
She looks at me and just by her expression, I can decipher her thoughts. On a normal day, I would decline the drink, send it back, not touch it, or do something like that. But today, I just accepted it willingly, with a smile on my face, from the stranger who bought me an unrequested drink. So I understand the reason for her confusion in her expression.
Alessia is a smart woman who knows me well. I can almost hear the moment when it clicks for her. But she doesn't say anything, just shakes her head negatively.
“What's wrong? Why are you looking at me as if accepting the drink was a crime?”
“I didn't say anything.”
“You don't need to say anything with that look.”
She laughs.
“I just wasn't expecting that reaction, but whatever.”
The sound of Alessia's cellphone interrupts us, she reaches for her phone in her bag, rolling her eyes as she looks at the screen.
"Oh my God, they really can't do anything without me in that place," she says, getting up from her chair and preparing to move away. "Give me a minute, I need to take this call before the gallery catches fire or something."
"Sure," I say, chuckling as I watch Alessia walk away from the table until she's out of sight.
I turn my gaze back to the man who is still watching me, a small smile on his lips. His desire is evident, but my interest in him is as nonexistent as my desire for a dry martini tonight.
But I accept the drink, and now I gaze at the man with curiosity. Not because I want anything with him, but because I wonder what it would take for me to do to Lewis what he did to me. Definitely much more than an attractive man buying me a drink. I still know this, even though I'm angry and drunk to the point of not thinking about how it would further affect my situation.
I hate this stranger for making me go back to thinking about Lewis when I was managing to deceive myself so well for a few minutes.
I watch the man get up from his seat and slowly walk towards me. I don't know why he thought he was entitled to all these actions, and I have no interest in talking to him now, but I still don't move to stop him. I stay in my seat with my eyes fixed on him, waiting to see what will happen.
His posture is impeccable, and he seems to be over 6 feet tall. His suit is flawless, and the watch on his wrist looks expensive. He is an attractive man for more than just these things. But even so, I couldn't be less interested.
"I've been trying to choose a drink for you for a while." He says as he gets close enough.
"And what made you think a dry martini would be a good idea?"
"It's an elegant drink, and you seem like a very elegant woman, so it made sense." He smiles.
"Thank you." I smile back at him.
"I'm Henry," he says, extending his hand, expecting a handshake.
"Y/n." I say, extending my left hand to him. He looks at it while shaking it. The ring on my finger is not something that would go unnoticed, especially to someone interested in flirting with me. But that realization doesn't stop him from being here, with the same smile and the same posture.
"So, did I make the right choice?" he asks.
My drunkenness and thoughts make me take a few seconds to realize he's talking about the drink he sent me.
"Well, to be honest, that wouldn't have been my first choice," I laugh nervously. "I prefer something sweeter. But thank you, it was very kind of you."
The unwavering smile remains on his face. Meanwhile, I struggle to maintain minimal eye contact. Regret and anxiety flood me for having accepted the drink and not having avoided the conversation.
"Let me buy you another drink then, one that you like this time," he laughs. "I'm staying at the hotel across the street and maybe we could continue the night there..."
"I'm married," I say, hoping to make the man realize my lack of interest and leave. But that's not what happens.
"I noticed," he says, seemingly unfazed. "But you accepted the drink, so I didn't think it would be an issue."
He says it as if it were a simple math equation, as if it were obvious that I would want to sleep with him in exchange for a fucking dry martini, even though I'm married.
At least I have the answer for Alessia: he saw my ring and has enough confidence to be an asshole.
I don't respond to him immediately. I just stare at the man in front of me, trying to process the audacity of someone making such a crude assumption.
“Is everything okay?” I feel Alessia's hands on my back. She says to me as she glares at him, there is clear anger in her features directed at the man.
"Thanks for the drink," I say as I grab my purse and stand up from the table. I have to concentrate when I put my feet on the floor so I don't end up falling due to drunkenness.
I walk to the exit of the bar and head towards Alessia's car, which is parked a few meters from the front of the place. I hear her footsteps behind me.
"What happened?" she asks.
My heart is racing, and I don't even know why. What happened in there wasn't anything that hadn't happened before, but for some reason, it affected me to the point of wanting to cry. I didn't realize it would be such a big trigger for me.
"Nothing. I just..."
And then it happens. What has been pent up finally surfaces, and I burst into tears. The wave of emotion is so overwhelming that I can barely stay on my feet. I know there are people outside the bar staring at me now, but I couldn't hold it back even if I tried.
In an attempt to have more privacy, Alessia retrieves her car key from her purse, unlocks the passenger door, and guides me inside. She doesn't say anything, but holds my hand and waits for me to calm down.
I know my sobs echo through the car, but I couldn't keep them down even if I tried. I denied myself this feeling, and I knew it would take over me sooner or later.
I don't know how much time passes there. I am silently embraced by my best friend, who holds my hand firmly as if she feels that I might slip away at any moment.
"He cheated on me," the words come out between sobs. I watch her posture change beside me. "In September, Alessia."
"Son of a bitch," she whispers, and I'm not sure if it's directed at me or herself.
"I thought nothing was wrong. He was distant, but after everything, it was normal for that to happen," I break my gaze from Alessia and look down at our connected hands. "But then I found a fucking bracelet in his car. And a few days later, I found out who it belonged to."
"Did you talk to him?” Her voice is low, as if she's not sure if asking me something like that would be helpful or not in my situation.
I nodded at her before continuing to speak.
"I saw her, Alessia. I looked into her eyes while she confirmed to me that she was with my husband. I've never felt so ugly, ridiculous, and humiliated in my life."
I give myself a few seconds to try to calm down, but every time I start speaking again, the tears and despair come flooding back.
"He told me that I was distant, that I changed after the diagnosis. He tried to justify what he did" I say, feeling Alessia's hand gripping mine tightly, providing comfort. "I don't know what to do now."
I look back at her, and I can see the emotion in her eyes.
"You know what to do, Y/n. Look at yourself now, if this isn't a cry for help, I don't know what is. The only problem is that the only person who can get you out of this is yourself."
She pulls me into a tight hug, and we stay like that for some time.
"I'm so sorry. Truly, deeply sorry," She say, pulling away from the hug, but Alessia stays close to me. "I swear, I could kill him right now."
"I know," I manage to smile through my tears. "But I don't think that would solve much."
Alessia backs away from me when she realizes I have calmed down, and she starts the car.
"You can stay at my place as long as you want," she says, releasing the handbrake and preparing to drive out of the parking spot.
"No. I want to go home," I reply.
Alessia looks back at me.
"Y/n, I don't think it's a good idea. Stay with me for a few days, try to think about it away from him,"
"No, I don't want to run away. I shouldn't have even left home today." She keeps staring at me with the steering wheel in her hands. "Please, I need this."
Alessia looks at me for a few seconds before sighing in defeat.
"Alright."
The drive home isn't long. I try to calm down during the journey, but the closer we get, the more I feel the urge to turn back. I know I have to resolve this situation and make a decision soon, but I'm afraid of saying goodbye to the only good thing I've ever had in my life.
Author's notes: Thanks for your patience in waiting until now, and... CHAPTER 5 IS OUT NOW! GO, GO, GO!!
Taglist:
@slafgoalskybaby, @justanormalfangirlsworld, @ravenqueen27, @nakamotosmoron, @supersanelyromantic, @maryseesthings, @bebesobrielo, @tenaciousathleteoperatorgarden, @bbhyunee, @missamericana69, @thotsposts.
If you want to be put on, or taken off my taglist, please let me know!
#au fanfiction#lewis hamilton#lewis hamilton fluff#lewis hamilton smut#lewis hamilton x reader#f1 x reader#fanfiction#smut fanfiction#f1 fanfic#f1 imagine#lewis hamilton angst#angst fanfic
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Just thinking about how if the world had kept masking, like seriously masking, from 2020-now how different everything would be. Like if you treated a deadly pandemic like a deadly pandemic, instead of downplaying it and gaslighting the people affected by it, if you didn't spread misinformation, if it being airborne wasn't hushed up from the fucking get-go. Just fucking everything.
I haven't hung out with people since late 2021. Basically all my friends stopped masking and started acting like I was being paranoid about a "minor cold." Like the actual fuck?
"when you feel safe going out again" LIKE BIRCH HOW TF AM I GONNA FEEL SAFE WHEN YOU'VE BEEN GOING AROUND UNMASKED to sports games and your job and family events and fucking weddings and restaurants and bars? HOW
How am I going to feel safe when you gaslight me in every conversation and fallout ignore me for literal days if I send information about covid and its effects? Literally how.
It causes people permanent, chronic heart, lung, brain, and other organ damage! It causes fertility issues! Chronic fatigue- I already HAVE chronic fatigue! It makes things like POTS and hEDS worse! A mild case now could mean a sudden stroke or heart attack in your near future!
Babies being born with glass lung, babies being born with covid- COVID fucking COLONIZES your body! It HIDES INSIDE YOU. And dear gods! The toxic work culture of work even when you're sick, go to school even when your sick!! Spread it far and wide to everyone WHEN YOU'RE SICK.
Politicize HEALTHCARE- it's been happening for for-fucking-ever so let's do it some more!
It's a FUCKING VIRUSSSSSS THAT CAN EVEN CHANGE HOW YOUR BRAIN WORKS
It can make you become more violent, more impulsive, aggressive, fucking SUICIDAL.
Cognitive issues GALORE, including L I T E R A L L Y losing braincells!!! Literally!!!
So yeah. It's great. I'm fine. This is fine.
I'm not massively depressed or angry over this. I mean, I, and everyone else, have only lost the last 4-5 years. I turned 18 after the pandemic started. I'm now 22. And it's still ongoing! I definitely don't feel suicidal because it doesn't seem like it's gonna fucking end, not at all. It's fantastic even! I get to be scared that by wearing my mask out in public, I could get attacked. I've certainly been harassed over it enough times.
It's not like how the world has mishandled covid has led to the mishandling of majorly infectious diseases (*cough* Monkey pox *cough* H5N1 *cough*). No, of fucking course not.
It's not essentially LIKE AIDS- IT'S NOT LIKE CHINA WAS GONNA CALL IT SAIDS - AS IN: SARS-AIDS!!!! BEFORE THE FUCKING WHO SHUT THAT DOWN. NOOOOOOO
It's not like it was caused by lax bio & security measures in fucking Canada— because they didn't fucking vet they're employees and their BSL standards WERE FOR SHIT!!!!!!!!
It's not like everyone in my house is at a higher risk of getting it. It's not like we'd be totally screwed over if even one of us were even slightly less able-bodied. It's thin fucking line most days but I'm terrified of what would/could happen if I am unable to make meals and do laundry, I already have to spend most of my days sitting or laying down. I don't fucking know what I'd do if I couldn't do that. I don't know what my family would do.
My family is trying to get OUT of an unsafe household where extended family belittle and gaslight and get violent regularly because we need, need, NEED, for us and them to keep masking. Said extended family has literally threatened to kill us before! So it's great.
It's fantastic.
#vent post#angry rant#covid conscious#covid isn't over#covid is airborne#ongoing pandemic#wear a fucking mask#wear a respirator#wear a mask#COVID ISN'T FUCKING OVER#clean air#clean air movement#clean the air#COULD PEOPLE PLEASE /PLEASE/ TAKE A DEADLY DISEASE SERIOUSLY FOR FUCKING ONCE#i'm doing great thanks for asking my pocket knife is NOT especially appealing this week not at all
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I was thinking, "I don't even have any friends to be honest with, or tell my shit to, because everybody seems to have some kind of stake in my personal business," but then I remembered TUMBLR EXISTEDDD, so here I am.
1. Ended up snooping on my NINETEEN year old coworker last night because he skipped out on BK with me after work, and I got UNREASONABLY possessive, noticing that he was talking to the new girl at work, and I thought no WAY he's fucking her... She just started. (And he made a WHOOOLE thing to me abt how he doesn't want to hook up-- he just wants to find someone he loves and 'make love'. ((I was all, 'You're completely valid.' and then look at the camera like I'm in The Office then do the finger loop crazy sign at my head's temple, crossing my eyes. LOL.))) So I pulled back up after I finished getting BK alone because I was salty as hell and overly curious, and they were still there an hour and ten after close... I honestly scared them and embarrassed myself and I tore off.
2. Went to the gas station beforehand, because I had started smoking cigarettes again like a day or two ago, because I've been stressed about having Seb cock block his brother from me (and potentially for me. It's complicated.) and it lowkey feels like Caleb ALLLL over again, and it's making me lose my mind, so I'm back to stressedly chuffing.
Went to buy a pack, and this dude hollered in the gas station. I hollered back.
We were talking, I give him my phone number, I told him I'm willing to hook up, he's like 'alright, cool... Maybe pick me up later cause I need a whip,' I'm like, 'Okay.' Cue Burger King and checking where I shouldn't.
3. Go back to my parents' house and dude texts me asking if I was trying to link up... It's late, I tell him yeah anyway. I have work at 8:30, and it's already 11 or midnight by the time we're messaging each other. I end up pulling up to this bar I've never been to around midnight, and I end up taking him and his friend to get blazed out in a parking lot somewhere. Dude I was gonna hook up with doesn't smoke za, but his friend does. I get high and immediately get scared, because now I'm OVI, and I have two young Black men in my vehicle with me, and I get scared that some awful shit was fixing to happen, so I go, 'I'M GETTING YOU BOTH HOME SAFELY. I'm not pulling out until our seat belts are fastened, etc.' Went full mom mode. (Also, at this point, the young man I was with was 22, and his friend was 21. They thought I was younger than even them, which was hilarious. So another predatory woman moment for Mama.)
Drop 21 off. Go to drop 22 off next, but he takes me to this outfield out the way... We park, talk some; he hits it and as he's getting out of the backseat, I go, "Wait, did you finish?" He very non-chalantly said "Yeah," as he's putting his pants back on. I go, "... Did you cum inside me?" He responds pretty deadpan "Yeah." I'M LIKE "WHAT? Did you even plan on telling me???" He goes, "I mean, yeah." I was stunned. He's like, "I mean, you can take a Plan B if you don't feel safe." NFJSJFHJDN I was losing my mind. NOT the fucking point. He's like "Are you mad at me?" I'm like, "TO be honest, yeah."
I drive him back home, he forgets something in my car, I pull back around, he's tryna get me to stay at his mom's house with him for the night (which he pays rent at), I say no. I drive off. He goes, 'Actually, I forgot my hat, too.' I was like 10 minutes down the road and closer to home by the time I saw this message, so I'm like 'Man, I'm keeping it now. Sorry.' He's like, 'alright it's fine. lol.'
End scene. Oh, actually not, because by the time I get back into my city/town, it's like 3:30 AM. I didn't even wash my clothes, I still needed to shower, I haven't really been eating for the last week, so I thought, 'Fuck it. I'm calling off.'
Haven't called off a single time since starting, even through this lowkey nasty cold I had a few weeks ago. So my manager, who I'm WAY too involved with, was like 'wtf?? You're just not coming in?' I'm like yeah. She's like "What's your reason." All investigative. I'm like "Not been eating well. It's for my health." She goes, "Get well." I'm such a fucking loser.
So then I woke up like an hour ago at three PM, and here I am. ❤️ What the fuck is going on with my life, though.
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2077, November
"Heeey... All good? What're you doing out here, so early?"
"Couldn't sleep... Wanted to watch the sun rise."
"Well, here I am!"
2077 was a hell of a year. It left its marks, mental and physical, trauma and scars alike, memories and lack thereof. A year ago Vince was working at Arasaka, desperate to stay in the corporate world despite it slowly destroying him from the inside out. A year later Arasaka is only a shadow of it former self - and in a way Vince felt like a shadow, too.
Six months had been Alt's prognosis, at most... then he'd die. For good this time. Vince knew the drill. But he also knew he would try everything in his power, utilize all means possible and necessary... Because yes, 2077 had been one hell of a year, of loss, despair, betrayal and pain... But also of hope, trust, friendship and love, and connections, however unlikely they may have seemed.
The road ahead is still long, and it will be far from easy. But he is at peace knowing he won't be walking it alone.
Vince through the years (9/9)
Aaand the series is complete! ;A; Ending it on a somewhat bittersweet note with a few of more pictures this time cause look at them looking at each other ;___;
Vince has always been a deeply lonely person trying to find his place and purpose - as you'll surely have gathered reading along this far. By 2077 he finally finds his people, real friends in the most unlikely places, that he cares about and that care about him. And after how badly his previous relationship with his Arasaka-coworker Shou ended, he wouldn't have expected to get another shot at love, too. I definitely feel like he found a soulmate in Kerry, very scared in the beginning that his feelings for him were only brought on because of Johnny, and should he get rid of Johnny he'd also lose the connection to Kerry. He didn't though, thankfully. Vice versa, Kerry found someone who really understands his loneliness and struggles and takes them seriously. They really match very well on many levels and bring out the best in the other (on most days at least :P), something I neither planned for nor expected, and probably why I'm so obsessed with them at the moment XD They really are each other's sun, driving away shadows and doubts, a light in the darkness.
But yeah, Vince has a lot to lose really, and together with Kerry and everyone else they try and find a way to solve the Relic-problem so now that he found his place and people he can stay with them, live the balance of quiet and exciting life he deserves and always wished for.
The scars I gave him here (and damn, it hurt me to make them 😭) are not 100% canon yet... I'm gonna explore and explain what they are and how he got them in my post-ending fic soon-ish.
But yeah... V gets his happily ever after with his loved ones, in one way or another, and CDPR can take my headcanons from my cold dead hands xDD No but really, I get it. In a world like Cyberpunk there's no such thing as a sunshine-and-rainbows happy ending with world peace and all... and even mine is gonna come at a certain cost. But if anyone, V deserves some peace and love after that shitshow :D
That being said:
Before and after! The scars are drawn on, and I used the relief layer effect in Photohsop to give them some dimension. Was really a matter of playing around with colors and layer modes to make them somewhat convincing looking, but I'm really liking the result a lot!
Once again it gets me how different Vince looks without his iconic hair and makeup 😭 Believe me, he had a really really hard time when he was told "we gotta shave your head for this procedure" cause throughout his life his hair has been a really important part of his self-expression. From dyeing it blond as a teen to rebel against his parents, to going completely wild afterwards, conforming to Arasaka, then slowly finding himself again... With everything gone he felt like yet another part of him was gone and yeah... wasn't a good time, that time in late 2077.
If you've read along all the way: thanks so much!! I hope you enjoyed this series as much as I enjoyed creating it and sharing a bit more about Vince's background and how he became who he is. When I'm done writing my post-ending fic I might go back to writing and sharing his background story fic, detailing everything from this series a bit more, and you'll get to know some of the people I only mentioned in passing (his mother, his first real boyfriend, his coworkers, etc.) a bit better, too.
So... Thanks for sticking around!! :D
#cyberpunk 2077#cyberpunk vp#cp2077 vp#cyberpunk 2077 vp#virtual photography#cyberpunk v#cyberpunk kerry#male v cyberpunk#male v#kerry eurodyne#kerry eurodyne x v#cyberpunk 2077 spoilers#otp: to bad decisions#vincent ezaki#shippy saturday#vince through the years#my vp#so sad and happy at the same time that it's finished 😭😭😭#sad on the one hand bc I had a lot of fun with the format#happy that I finished a little project and can now get a new one started :3#I'll make an overview post with links to every part of this once again I think just because#but yeah: if you've read along from the start thanks so much <3
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TRANSGENDER DYSPHORIA BLUES BY AGAINST ME! LYRIC STARTERS
feel free to change phrasing as you see fit (happy pride month, we're celebrating with one of my favorite albums)
CW: Mentions of transphobia, suicide, overdose
“Your tells are so obvious” “You want them to see you like they see every other girl” “They just see a faggot they hold their breath not to catch the sick” “I wish I could have spent the whole day alone with you” “You've got no cunt in your strut” “We can't choose how we're made” “Who's gonna take you home tonight?” “Yet to be born, yet you're already dead” “God bless your transsexual heart” “Well, you should've been a mother you should've been a wife” “You should've been gone from here years ago you should be living a different life” “Even if your love was unconditional it still wouldn't be enough to save me” “What makes you think you're going to die any different?” “Welcome to the future an always ice-cold nightmare” “This night too will end” “Look at all them bitches, yeah I'm going to fuck them all” “There will always be a difference between me and you” “What's the best end you can hope for? Pity fucks and table scraps” “What's the best thing you can hope for? A blindfold and a ball gag, Burned-out eyes, grotesque beauty” “Where would we be without all the distance?” “All things made to be destroyed All moments meant to pass” “I never wanna say that I regret it, Never wanna say that we grew apart, And never wanna say that the feelings changed” “How would you even recognize me?” “There's a brave new world that's raging inside of me” “You don't worry about tomorrow anymore Because you're dead. Or does anything still echo?” “Well I know she still remembers She sleeps with your picture by her bed” “God damn, I miss my dead friend” “She waits for you to haunt her” “Two coffins for sleep, One for you, one for me. We'll get there eventually” “How lucky I ever was to see the way that you smiled at me” “One day soon there'll be nothing left of you and me” “All the things that I have yet to lose will someday be gone too” “All things will fade, maybe it's better off that way, I wish you'd stay with me” “Our waking life's just a living dream agitated states of amazement” “I don't ever want to talk that way again I don't want to know people like that anymore” “I want to piss on the walls of your house” “I want to chop those brass rings off your fat fucking fingers as if you were a king-maker” “I don't want to see the world that way anymore” “I don't want to feel that weak and insecure as if you were my fucking pimp; as if I was your fucking whore” “All the young graves filled. Don't the best all burn out so bright and so fast?”
#lyric starters#roleplay prompts#roleplay starters#roleplay starter#roleplay meme#trans rp#rp starters#rp memes#rp prompt#rp starter#against me!#pride month
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