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forevamark · 1 month ago

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Baby You're No Good

Pairings - Cult leader/clan Leader Geto x F! reader

Summary - You have been promised to marry the psychotic, human hating leader of the Geto Clan, Suguru. Your heart sinks at the wedding when you realize you're likely to be ended once you've fulfilled your duty, giving him an heir. He detests you on sight, as do you, but something happens the first time you lay together, Suguru swears you're some witch, because he can't get enough of you. He becomes consumed with fucking you, with the excuse of 'having an heir' but you begin to wonder just where the lines are blurring. Would you survive this- and will Suguru survive being with you?

CW- Arranged marriage trope, ENEMIES TO LOVERS, psychotic Geto lol- lots of hate sex, Suguru calling you a stupid monkey, angsty, FULL of smut. Reader is a virgin bc she's sheltered due to been promised to him. Reader is FEISTY asf and mean right back. Explicit sex and Geto being whipped/insane/obsessed and psycho. This part- Heavy angst, hate sex, cum licking, oral (m and f recieiving) choking, smacking, say hi to Gojo, toxic relationship. WC this part- 6.5k

Will be six parts <3 Plz share/comment/ like if you enjoy!

<<<Part Two - Playlist - Masterlist - Part four (soon)

Part Three

“Fuck…” Suguru’s moaning as he’s filling you, and it’s just too much, too intimate, his silken long locks falling against your skin, his lips hovering over yours, one of your legs wrapped on his hip.

“Fuck you…” Is what you mutter back, as his cock fills you, hitting every damn spot all at once, you’re soaking him, hands gripping the blankets, trying to avoid that desire to grip him instead.

“You love it, don’t you?” You shake your head and he chuckles, slipping his hand down your tummy to toy with your clit, pressing it in circles, making you cum so damn easily. “No?”

“Who c-cares- mnh!” You’re screaming out as he overstimulates you, those lazy lidded violet eyes devouring your face, your nails grip his back on instinct, making him hiss in pleasure.

“Fuck.” He huffs again, as he feels your walls, so slick and tight, pulsating all around his veiny length. “Feel perfect-” He pauses himself, as you gasp, he’s burying his face in your neck again, fucking into you deeper and harder now, taking over all your senses while he hides his feelings.

That he’s obsessed with you should be obvious, it is obvious to fucking anyone besides you, clearly. You haven’t noticed the way he’s non stop in your presence, even as there’s a knocking on his door now, he scowls over at it, you release your nails and he glares at you.

“Put them back.” You scowl right back.

“You’re needed M-Master Geto- oh! Ah!” He’s slamming his cock deeper, using one arm to balance, as the other grabs you by your throat.

“Put them back, now. Are the sheets fucking you?”

“I like them better than y-you.”

“Annoying fucking brat…” He grumbles, shoving his cock so deep as the door knocks again. “What is it!?”

“Plans for Kiyoto, Lord Geto. We have been waiting for an hour.”

“I’m not done yet.” The wet sounds of his cock splitting you in half fill his chambers, as he chokes you harder, looking as you lose oxygen, big hand taking your pretty little neck more and more. “I’ll come later.”

“Kiyoto?” You murmur, and he squeezes harder, slamming his cock even deeper as the bed creaks with the force.

“You can still speak?” He raises an arrogant brow, you’re helpless as the fuzziness of him choking you makes you feel like you’re floating as he slams his cock so deep, tip pressing into your spongy cervix, you pulse all around him screaming silently in pleasure. “There, shut your stupid mouth.”

Suguru releases your throat, slamming his lips on yours, and you’re too weak to fight it, you let him kiss you, clinging to him desperately, and letting go for just one blissful moment. Where you inhale the scent of the sex filling the room, where you feel his taste buds on your tongue, and your tongue moves back, earning his soft little whimper that he hides.

You wish you could let go.

But how do you let go with a monster?

Suguru’s big hand comes to your thigh now, gripping it and shoving impossibly deeper as you whine out, your hips rolling for more. If there is ever a time the two of you aren’t declaring your hate or scowling, it’s when he’s fucking you into that bed, deeper and deeper, kissing you like he could love you. A mix of hatred, desire, and more and more feelings you both suffocate.

A month married to him, in his bed constantly, in whatever position he had you in, last night you’d been on top of him, as he’d laughed while you tried to ride him, but when you’d rolled your hips a certain way, you got that look. The look of whatever real Suguru Geto is inside of this shell, you got a glimpse of his tenderness when he came inside you.

Even now, it doesn’t feel all like hate, not when he slows, and he parts his lips, murmuring something that sounded like beautiful, but when you ever looked at him, asked him what he whispered, he’d shut down and flip you. He’d fuck you harder until you couldn’t remember whatever tender words may have spilled from lips that only produce hate.

You gasp now, looking up at him, when he entwines a hand in yours, it’s too much pressure in your tummy, it’s too intimate really, he shouldn’t fucking do this, and he knows it. “D-don’t…”

“Don’t hold your hand, but I can cum in you?” He whispers back, and you gulp now, nodding, while he shakes his head. “Rather me choke you again?”

“Yes.” He scoffs, slamming his lips back down again, rhythm slowing. “Stop kissing me, fuck…”

“No.” You turn your face and he exhales, biting your throat now, sinking fully in and throbbing inside you. “Fucking brat, I swear.”

“Shut up and finish- mnh!” Suguru leans up and shoves you in that mating press now, looking down at you as his hair falls loose and silky and long, brushing the backs of your thighs.

“Need my cum so bad, pathetic girl?”

“Monkey.” You finish, and he pauses, it’s been weeks since he’s said it during sex to you, shit a week since he said it at all. Any time someone else said it he’d end them, so people don’t talk that way anymore.

But the irony is it’s his creation, calling others that.

“You only shut up when I lick you, even dick apparently doesn’t work.” You flush at that, and he’s spitting down between your thighs now, obscene as he does it, running that rough thumb on your clit again as you scream out. “There we go, you can’t help yourself, feels too good.”

“Hate you. Hate you.” You’re whispering even as you shatter, milking his cock so that he cums right with you, groaning out loud, his eyes fluttering shut.

“Perfect little cunt, fuck…” He’s whispering, as he watches the creamy stripes already oozing from your little hole, moaning as he sees it, releasing your thighs. “You took so much, but you’re just pushing it all out.”

“There’s enough cum, you cum so much, ugh.” You grumble, voice breathy as he chuckles so cruelly, finally pulling out of you, dripping with your slick and his seed, sticky and glistening.

“Clean it up then.” He gets on his back now, yanking you until you’re on his face, you gasp then.

“Suguru…”

“Fuck…” He’s parting your drooling lips as you brace yourself on either side of him, feeling the tip of his tongue flick on your overstimulated clit. “Saying my name? Are you only sweet when I eat you out?”

“Shut it.” You lap at his sticky tip, he jerks in your hand, still mostly hard as he’s moaning against you, making you drip out more of his cum right on his lips, mixed with how slick you are.

“Pretty pussy so beat up.”

“Pretty, hmm?” You are met with him shoving up his cock deep, as you suck as much as you can of him, you’ve sucked him a few times now, times when you can’t help yourself.

You love to.

But you don’t want him having the satisfaction.

Though you’ve never done… this, sitting on his face while he laps you up, his huge hands on your hips, while his tongue scoops the cum pouring, only making you closer again. Your eyes roll back as you suck him deeper, losing yourself in the sensations again, it's hard to remember when his tongue devours you that he’s a mass murderer who ‘hates you’.

“Suguru…” You’re pulling back for a moment, pulling away as he flicks your clit again and again, hot breath right on your core, and he glares, yanking you back.

“Don’t run, now, let me get her ready for me again.” You just whine, pathetically, shaking your head.

“M’gonna cum-”

“Cum, then. Now.” You sure won’t be taking his orders, but he sucks your tiny clit in his mouth, shoving his cock up with a thrust of his hips, and you are cumming, just like he fucking said. Your thighs shake on either side of his pretty face, as he licks you clean, his own cock fully hard and ready again in your throat. “Finally being good?”

“Mmm, never…” He laughs at you, tapping your hips as you shakily get off him, just to yank you on top, sliding his length between your puffy lips. Your hands brace on his chest, your flushed face so gorgeous he can’t think for a moment. “Must we… so frequently? Shouldn’t I take a test?”

Suguru pauses then.

“And if you are, will you stop your duties as my wife?” He asks, while you grind on him, and you’re exhaling, trying to focus.

“What’s Kyoto?”

“Jesus… just fuck me, don’t talk.”

“That’s all we do!”

“That’s all I enjoy to do with you, it’s the only time you’re not a mean little bitch.” You glare now, leaning back and slapping his cheek, he slaps you right back, while he drags you on his cock, and you scream in pleasure, tits right in his face bouncing with the motion. “There you go, can’t help yourself.”

“Hate you… what the…” He slaps your tits now, as you whine out in pleasure, he leans up to suck one in his mouth, moaning, cheeks hollowed as he does. “Tell me nothing, hmm?”

“It’s an attack, okay? Will you focus on riding dick, your technique is pathetic.” You scowl again, rolling your hips just so and grinding with him bottomed out, smirking as you elicit a whimper.

“Whining like a little bitch, the almighty Lord Geto.”

“God I hate you.” He whispers, pulling you by your hair and kissing you again, so brutal and bruising while he shoves his cock up inside you, skin sweaty and slick from the two of you.

“Attack for what?” You whisper, close to cumming again.

“A thousand curses, will take out every non-sorcerer… f-fuck you feel so… mmm… and anyone who stops me.” You pause at that, unmoving, looking at him in horror now.

“What!?” You earn his scowl, he flips you on the other side of the bed, on top again, a hand on your mouth, as you yank at it.

“I’m killing everyone in that city that’s human. Don’t worry, you’ll be safe, you’re with me.” Your parents live in Kyoto, he doesn’t even let you argue, sinking deeper, shaking his head.

“My parents-”

“Your parents, my parents, baby they’re all gonna die soon.” You’re in horror and shock as the door knocks again, and Suguru rolls violet eyes. “I said I’m busy!”

“Satoru Gojo is here, Lord Geto. You may want to… see this.” Suguru freezes over you.

“You’re gonna kill our parents!? Everyone!? Really!”

“Have I ever made it a secret?” He scoffs, pulling out of you and making you flush in embarrassment as he looks at your body. “I said I’d make an exception, why is that not enough? What more must I constantly do?”

“I don’t know- not be a murderer psycho!?” He’s scowling again as he gets dressed, and you hastily follow.

“I’ll be out there in just a moment.” He says gruffly and you’re following him out, earning him constantly glaring back at you. “I’ll knock you out with a sleeping curse if you don’t stop.”

“Thought I was supposed to go everywhere with you, as your wife, hmm?” His jaw locks as you two step outside, the brightness blinding for just a moment, as several of Suguru’s cult members are ready to fight Gojo, who’s just smirking, turning his attention to the two of you then.

“You paid me a visit, figured I’d return the favor buddy.” Satoru says with a big grin, and Suguru smirks so damn evil, while Satoru eyes you behind the veil of white thin material, face softening a bit. “Who’s the pretty girl, and why is she near you?”

“My wife, okay?” Satoru pauses, while Suguru steps closer, crossing his arms under his wide robes. “What’s it to you?”

Satoru pulls up his white wrapped blindfold, one cerulean eye meeting yours, swirling storms that you could never forget, looking back at Suguru, glossy lips turning up in a smirk. Suguru scowls right at him, when Satoru puts his hands in the pockets of his dark blue pants, tilting his silvery locks as he steps just a bit closer, his shoes glinting under the light with each step.

“A non-curse user married to the infamous Suguru Geto.” Gojo whistles now, walking closer until he’s right in front of you.

“Arranged marriage.” Suguru says, making you tense, feeling sick to your stomach, sure you know it’s true, but…

Perhaps you thought you were a little more?

“Ah, need me to take her off your hands?” Satoru taunts, grinning as he puts his blindfold back on, and you watch Suguru stiffen, before he glares.

“The fuck you say?”

“You hate humans, I’ll take her with me. Sure she’d prefer that over certain death, hmm?”

“You won’t take her any fucking where.”

“Why, it’s forced, right?” Satoru’s lilting voice was laced with sarcasm, as he looks right through Suguru, the way you do, the way Shoko had so casually the day he last saw her, the way only people…

People he loved did.

Fuck he can’t, he doesn’t, but as Satoru brushes your hair back gently and you eye him curiously, he grips one of Satoru’s wrists tightly, and he can feel the goddamn gaze behind that blindfold. Knowing, still caring somehow, though Suguru doesn’t deserve his care, nor does he deserve you.

If he loved you enough, he’d let you run the fuck away with Satoru, perhaps he could keep you safe, from the monster Suguru had become.

But he can’t stand the thought of you gone.

“Is it because she’s pregnant?”

“What!?” Suguru demands, and he lifts his blindfold again, eyeing you with those powerful six eyes that everyone knows the Gojo heir has, as you touch your tummy, looking at Satoru in shock.

“It’s brand new, won’t even show up on a test, but you are.” Satoru’s voice is just a little soft, you could feel how he felt horrible for you, but also you could still feel the love he had for his former best friend.

“You can see?” You murmur softly, as Suguru’s lips are parted.

“I can see a lot. I see you care about her, hmm?”

“You need to leave, to prepare for when I come.”

“Suguru!” His name on your lips makes him pause, as you look at him with tears now. “You can’t do it.”

“Oh I can’t hmm?” Suguru’s struggling to remember his motives, all he can think of is that there’s a fucking baby in you already.

“You can’t do this, what life will this baby even have?”

“A better one, when the scum is off this earth.”

“Including her?” Satoru says now, and Suguru’s jaw locks, violet eyes narrowed with his lashes casting shadows on his cheeks, the wind starts whipping around the three of you, as you feel Satoru’s immense energy. It’s far surpassing Suguru’s, intense to withhold as it surrounds him. “If you hate humans, you hate her.”

“That’s… she’s mine.”

“Your human?”

“She’s my…” He stands in front of you now, as Satoru grins, chuckling just a bit. “She’s my wife and has my heir, she won’t leave my fucking sight.”

Suguru never wants you to leave him, the thought makes his heart clench with fear, his very energy shifting, and Satoru picks up on it. “Oh so you’ll just kill her once she has your heir?”

“No I…”

“Why not, care about someone again?” Suguru bristles at that, at his friend seeing everything with one glance, Satoru has always been that way.

“So perceptive now, are you?”

Satoru’s jaw locks. “Now, yes, and you are blinded, can’t even see what’s here for you, can you?”

“Satoru fuckin leave, go prepare now because I sure the fuck am coming prepared to kill everyone in that city, including you.” Suguru stomps away, as Satoru sighs, stepping closer to you.

“Are you alright here?” He murmurs, you nod then, carefully. “I can get you out of here.”

“You what?” You blink just a bit, and Suguru is shouting your name, glaring at the two of you.

“You love him too, don’t you?” Satoru’s question makes you question yourself, your own heart, things you’re trying to shove back, to avoid. But it’s as if Satoru knows you better than yourself and almost like you can feel the love he himself has, the care radiating under his powerful energy.

“No! God no…” You falter, and Satoru exhales, brushing the backs of his fingers across your cheek, and you feel Suguru summon a curse right around you, making you gasp.

“Back the fuck off.” Suguru speaks through gritted teeth, Satoru just smirks, waving off Suguru’s curse like it’s nothing.

“You see them.”

“Yes, I can, some… family trait.” You murmur softly.

“Hmm, interesting. I can still take you away, just say the word.”

You hate Suguru.

Suguru is a psycho murderer.

Right?

“Or…”

“Or?” Suguru’s now got his people around him, his cult, his minions, making you sick as they gather, as if they’re putting a dent in Satoru Gojo.

“Or… you try to stop him.”

“Me!? He fucking hates me, he thinks-”

“Nah. He certainly doesn’t hate you, in fact… maybe only you can get through to him.” He rubs the back of his neck, as Suguru and his group start stepping forward. “I’ve tried, I’m… fucking tired.”

“If you don’t get through, how can I?” Your voice is hoarse, Satoru leans down a bit, voice dropping to a murmur.

“He feels something. Try to… just buy me some time could you?” You gulp now, as you touch your stomach again.

“I’ll try, Gojo.” He smiles at you then, the smile you remember has changed he's… sadder now.

“You have something on here…” He brushes long fingers against your neck, making you tremble a bit at the contact, then blush. You'd only been with Suguru and it wasn't either of your choices, so you wonder if it's just … someone else touching you? Or if it's his intense energy, but soon you notice a little piece of paper that he's placed there. “In case you need me.”

You nod, tucking it in your robes. “Thank you…”

“Good luck with… all of it.” He disappears with one more sad look at Suguru, who's now scowling as he walks over to you. “Go to your room until I say you can leave.”

“What!?”

“Now you’ll be seen as a weakness.” He says, in disgust at the thought, looking at you furiously.

“Why, when you don’t care?” Your words make him furious, how can you not know what he feels?

“I do care, that’s the problem.”

“Oh, I’m a problem!?”

“Go. Now.” You shake your head at him, and he grabs you by your chin, squeezing it tightly. “Go to your room for the rest of the night, I will not repeat myself, or would you like your parents dead earlier?”

“What the fuck is wrong with you!?” You say through your sobs that are rising in your throat, and Suguru pauses, guilt flashing as he sees what he’s already done to you, and he hasn’t even started.

“Now.” You rush off as he stares, and the others gather, he aches to follow you when you slam that door, when he hears your cries, but he does nothing. “Someone lock her doors from the inside out.”

******

It’s been all night you’ve been stuck in this goddamn room, and of course you have no phone in here, Suguru lets you use a cell phone to speak to your parents but he never really lets you keep it in your room. Finally, it’s gotta be late, you’ve lost sense of time but the locked windows of your room show it’s dark out, the door opens with a resounding click.

You peer and see him then, furious at you as he stands there, and you step up to the doorway. “Locking me away like this is beauty and the beast, huh?”

“Might as well be, isn’t that what we are?” He raises a brow, and you gulp now, shaking your head.

“No, you’re beautiful. On the outside.” You watch Suguru pause now, face softening a bit. “If I’m pregnant, shouldn’t I be allowed to eat?”

“I didn’t say… you think…”

“You’ve locked me in here for hours.” Your tummy growls as if on cue, and Suguru feels like…

God worse than shit.

His best friend had just been there, and now the girl he’s fallen for is starving and apparently… pregnant. If Gojo is to be believed, there’s life inside of you already, and what sort of life would it be when you’re living in constant terror from him? But Suguru is too far down this path, as much as he will make an exception for you, he will not do that for anyone else.

His family and yours included, eventually.

“So you know, your parents are on vacation.” You exhale in relief, but then instantly feel guilty.

What about everyone else?

“Can I have a phone to talk to them, please?”

He shrugs then. “Sure, I’ll have one brought to you along with dinner.”

“So I have to stay here!?”

“Until you calm down.” He shuts the door again as you glare at it, and he’s resting his head on the other side, despising himself.

“Suguru, really!?”

It’s of no use. With dinner and a phone in a little bit, you devour it, realizing then that you are starving, you’d fucked the man all morning and are apparently… carrying his baby, and haven’t eaten anything. The door opens and Suguru stands there once again, crossing his arms and looking down at you.

“You can come to my chambers if you behave.” You’ll behave alright.

Knowing it to be your chance to attempt to get to him in any way, you agree. As you walk down the halls, seeing his daughters giggling as if everything’s fine, Suguru pats them on the head as he pauses, and when they leave, he looks at you. “So if they were human, what would you do?”

“I asked you to behave.”

“Did you think of Gojo and-”

“Forget who you belong to?” He says angrily, hands on your shoulders now, heat burning you through the silk of your robes.

“It’s just all arranged, yeah?” Your retort leaves him breathless, sputtering, as he catches you by your wrist.

“It was arranged, but let me explain-”

“Nothing you say makes any fucking sense!” You're yanking your arm, now he is dragging you to his room, you're stumbling helplessly, following his quick pace until he's slammed the door behind you.

“You are mine, all mine.” He whispers, huge hands on your face, as you bite a trembling lip.

“Suguru, you can’t do this. Please.”

“Stop telling me what I can or can’t do. Why, think I’m not powerful enough?” He slams a hand on one side of your head, making you tense.

“Is that all this is, who’s more powerful? Does this mean nothing?” You take that hand putting it on your stomach now, as he gulps audibly, his already tired eyes even more heavy.

“The heir.”

“The baby, say it.”

“Baby…” He murmurs, almost in wonder for a moment, before stepping back, as you feel your heart shattering. “You’ll stay here, you’ll be safe. I’ll have guards if they come to retaliate.”

“Oh, so it’s all fine then, you’re gonna what, kill other kids!? Pregnant women!? Does that make you feel good, Suguru, so fucking strong?” You shove at him now, and his dark brows lower, jaw clenched.

“You will be safe.”

“For how long, until your hatred overtakes you, and you remember what I am. Say it, huh?” He’s squeezing your wrists, shoving you off him, pinning them above your head as he leans down, the ticking of the clock on his wall matching the rhythm of your pounding heart.

Tick tick tick.

How long until your heart stops beating?

“You’re… more.” He wants to say it then, that he loves you, a human… that he’s never felt like this, even with the love of his friends.

Nothing like it.

You scoff right at him. “Tiny, pathetic, useless, but you’re different, okay? I know that you are.”

“I’m a human. Say it. Say monkey, isn’t that what I am?” He glares at you now, shaking his head, and you laugh then, a mean little laugh. “Can’t now, why?”

“You’re… I… just shut the fuck up.” He slams his lips down on your brutally, your arms are going numb until he releases them, his tongue diving inside your mouth, drinking every bit of you up as you whine softly. “I need you.”

You blink a bit, disoriented at his words, as he picks you up in his arms, and you cling to him, tears filling your eyes. “Why? I’m pregnant now, remember?”

“You think Gojo knows?”

“He knows a lot. He knows you.” Suguru glares now, your back against that wall, as his hands grip your ass, and you feel his hard body against you. “He loves you.”

“Do you ever shut the fuck up?” He’s kissing you again, as you exhale, trying to catch a breath, trying to control the storm inside of you. “No one should love me.” He murmurs against your neck, teeth sinking in, making you cling to him, nails scraping against the silk of his robes.

“Why n-not? You’re not t-too far-”

“Baby, I’m no good.” He whispers now, in your ear, and you know it’s true, you know that Suguru Geto is a fucking monster.

But you also know one thing too.

You’re in love with him.

In love with a monster who wants to end the world.

“Then why do you need me? Huh? Go get one of your girls, I’m pregnant already.” Suguru scowls as he leans back, and you bite back a moan as he moves against your hot, eager cunt.

“I don’t want anyone else.”

“Why?”

“Shut up.”

“No! We won’t.” You wriggle until you’re out of his hold, and heading for his door, he presses your front against it, hand on yours on that knob. “Let me go. You said once I got pregnant, you were done. Remember?”

Suguru said a lot, a lot of bullshit.

He called you disgusting, useless, trash, a monkey… but as you look at him the way you do, you’re breaking him, in between making his desire to take you grow by every fucking minute. He cups your face, brushing aside your tears, you always cried over him, didn’t you? He’s not worth them, he’s not worth any of you, yet he’s so obsessed and greedy he still takes.

“We don’t have to stop. We both enjoy this, don’t I make you feel good?” He’s slipping his fingers, moaning when he finds your soaked panties under your pretty yukata, and you clench your teeth, eyes rolling back. “We can give this a chance, having this baby.”

“A chance?” You whisper, in between hiccups of pleasure as he keeps teasing your clit over and over, and you find yourself arching against him.

“To be together. I know they’ll be special- like you.”

“I am a fucking human.”

“No.” He’s sinking two fingers in your slutty little hole, as those sticky walls grip his thick digits so good, as he loses himself in your scent, your feel, the sound of you, every fucking bit. “You’re special, you’re more, I know it.”

“Mnh… I hate you…” You cry out as he pumps more and more, thighs shaking while he works you so damn well.

“I know you hate me. You should… go ahead, cum f’me.”

“Call me it.”

“No.”

“Useless, pathetic- weak, worthless-”

“Beautiful.”

“No!” You’re fighting it, turning in his hold, as he sucks your juices off his fingers, getting on his knees for you, and you’re faltering again. “Don’t call me that.”

“You are beautiful. Do you not know?”

“Shut up. I hate you more for it.” Your tears stream further down your face, as he tries to grip you by the hips, to drag you closer to him. “You act as if you could ever love me.”

Suguru blinks then, pressing a kiss on your tummy for a moment, making you both pause. “We can have a perfect world.”

“It’s a massacre, it’s murder, it’s not perfect! Killing everyone that doesn’t meet your standards? Suguru please just stop. Stop it.”

He scowls now, standing tall, looming right over you, your breath catches in your throat in fear. “I will not stop my plans. Gojo got you this fucked up from one meeting? Maybe you did like him then.”

You scoff now. “Your audacity is batshit. How can you be jealous of your arranged wife who is a human, that you said you didn’t wanna touch!?”

“I… you know I didn’t…”

“I don’t know shit, Suguru Geto. Except Gojo loves you, and fuck, I see glimpses of how and why. I do.” You cup his face then, he jerks back for a moment, like your touch is fire, as you cup the other side of his face. “If you love Gojo, and if you care for me one little bit, you won’t.”

“You assume I love anyone.” His words, lies, tear you apart.

You blink more tears, as Suguru lies right to your face. “You care.”

“So what!? That’s why you’ll be safe.”

“And Gojo? And those damn kids from Jujutsu high, and the people of Kyoto, children, you’ll kill them?”

“Just go. You don’t want to now that you’re pregnant, right? Leave.”

“It’s not that, it’s that I want to know if anything good is fucking inside you, Suguru please just this one thing. Just don’t attack.”

His jaw sets as he pulls your hands off, and they fall to your sides, while he glares down at you. “I’ll give him another week to prepare, you can let him know since you’re suddenly his friend, hmm?”

“He loves you. Don’t you see it? Can’t you still be worthy of it? Of… my love?” You whisper, after he’s turned away, and Suguru laughs darkly.

“You could never love me.”

“How do you know- if you’d just try, Suguru!”

“I’ll give it a week. That’s the best you’re getting.”

“Is there any room for me or this baby in whatever heart you have left, with all that hatred inside you?” You whisper, he turns to open his mouth, but you storm out of his room, sobbing as you rush down the halls, leaving him alone, picturing his friend brushing your hair back.

Gojo would be better for you, wouldn’t he?

But Suguru doesn’t think he could ever let you go, even when he brings you to tears, even when he himself feels moisture that hasn’t been there in so long, memories and images of happiness filling him. Of you and a baby, maybe they look pretty like their mom, maybe they’re fiery like you, maybe they’re…

Human.

He sinks to the ground then, head falling against the door.

What if they’re human?

You’re collapsing on your bed, in tears, trying to pull yourself together, finally getting the number Satoru had conveniently hidden in your collar, pulling it out and dialing it, sniffling. “Hello?”

“I tried… I tried but…”

“Shh, hey, calm down.” Satoru sits up in his empty home, hearing your cries, some odd ache to comfort you filling him.

If anyone knows what it’s like to love Suguru Geto, despite all his flaws and his intentions, it’s Satoru Gojo. But also… you seemed so fragile, so small in a home that all hated you. And yet he saw it in your eyes, pretty eyes, full of fear but also feelings, and then he knew that you care for him, as much as Suguru cared for you, so very clear to Satoru.

“It’s okay… it’s not all on you.” Satoru says, his voice comforting your aching heart now.

“He said another week he would give you.” Satoru sighs then, nodding.

“A week is better, more time to prepare.”

“I tried, he doesn’t… he won’t…”

“I know. You love him.”

“I shouldn’t.”

“Neither should I, but I remember my best friend, the only friend I had.” Your heart tears apart for the person Suguru used to be, and now for Satoru, who you barely know, but you feel it, the longing, the loneliness.

“I don’t know if he’s in there. I don’t know if I can face him if he does it.”

“You bought me time, sweetheart, thank you okay? You can only do so much right now.” He says softly, and you take a shaky breath.

“I see why you two were close, you’re kind of comforting.”

“Comforting hmm, I don’t think I was back then.” Satoru remembers being a little shithead, conceited, cocky. “I don’t think I was there when he needed me, when he needed someone. I can’t forgive myself for it.”

“You should.” You lay on your back now, staring up at the intricate patterns on the ceiling, as the warmth of the phone touches your cheek. “What are you gonna do, Gojo?”

“Try to save everyone, of course. Should be a piece of cake.” You snort then, as he laughs a bit, deterring the situation some. “I meant it, I can get you away, somewhere safe.”

“Why would you?”

“You didn’t choose this. You’re just… a girl. You know?”

“Pregnant, really?”

“Mmm, yeah I’m pretty sure. It’s a certain energy I can pick up on, like more than one in your body.”

“I should go, I’ll be fine, I don't think he’d hurt me… in any way other than… hurting others.” He hurts you in his own ways, sure, but Suguru doesn’t realize how much he’s hurting you, pushing you away. You shouldn’t care, you should have known he was this way, but something in you loves him, against it all.

Do you love the monster or the man still inside?

“All right, if you’re sure.” Satoru says softly, cutting your thoughts off as you blink a bit.

“Satoru, will you… kill him if you had to?” He hears the fear, the thoughts he has in his own mind clearly connecting with you, the last thing Satoru ever wanted to do was kill him.

“I’d try everything else first, but I have to defend the kids, and everyone else… if it comes to it, I… shit I don’t wanna think of it.” You hear his emotions, sighing as you come to understand his meaning.

“Is there any of him left?” You ask softly, Satoru takes off his blindfold, pouring himself a drink and leaning against the counter, pressing you against his ear.

“You want to know if the Suguru you met that day is in there?”

“What was he… like, even?”

Satoru laughs a bit, without humor. “He was a little shit.”

“Well, he’s still that.” You both laugh softly, shit it’s the first time you can recall laughing since you’ve been here almost.

“He was arrogant, but he was kind, he thought we should help the weak, I argued with him. He stopped me from… doing some rash things. We lost a few people, and he grew distant, I wish I noticed… or…”

“He wanted to protect the weak?”

“Yes.” You can’t fathom that it's the same man, sighing a bit now, shifting in the bed as sleep starts to tug at you somehow, though you’re scared to even close your eyes.

“You really loved him.”

“I still do.” He clears his throat a bit now, Satoru’s never really shared how he felt until you, a stranger on a phone, married to his former friend, but for some reason he feels you understand more than anyone. Your voice alone, speaking the words, are something he didn’t know he craved.

“I will keep trying if I can, but I can’t face him right now.”

“Just get some rest, if you need me I’ll get you away. But I hope… I hope he’s still him, somewhere.”

“Me too. Good night, Satoru.”

“Good night.” You hang up, leaving his mind whirling, thinking of your pretty forlorn face, wishing he could save you, wishing he could save his damn best friend, and everyone else. “An extra week, huh…”

You curl up and pass out shortly after, in nightmare after nightmare, hating Suguru, loving Suguru, images of Satoru in there too, of them killing each other, hurting each other. Villages burning, a city in ruins, Suguru’s curses everywhere, so vivid and real you’re tossing and turning, unable to wake up, even as you scream out loud in your sleep.

Suguru is in your chambers then, watching what he’s done, sitting by your side as you toss and turn, gently touching your forehead, sweaty from your exertions. “Shh, Princess…”

Princess.

Why’d he say that?

Why couldn’t he call you it- monkey- anymore?

“Suguru don’t… I love you…” He pauses at your words, on your lips incoherent, tears glistening in the dark room. “Don’t… you’re hurting me… never loved me…”

“I do, fuck I do.” He leans down, holding you, he’s never spent the night with you, of course you wouldn’t allow it, but he’s never even held you.

What’s he done, but fuck you good and try to make you forget how horrible he truly is? As you calm now, blinking a bit, in and out of a daze. “Suguru?” You whisper, fear in your pretty eyes, mixed with more.

He caused this.

How could you even have a baby like this?

“Go to sleep, you were screaming so loud everyone is up.” He huffs, lying to you now, and you pull back.

“I’m fine. Just go, sorry I was having nightmares.” He pulls you back against him now, his strong chest, warmth you ache to sink against, all while you try to picture a world in which he wasn’t evil, wasn’t insane, wasn’t bloodthirsty. A world where he’s just a boy and you’re just a girl, cuddling in bed.

It’s a lovely dream, but you know it’s fake.

“Get to sleep.” His soft order is met with him pulling you even closer, covering you both with a blanket, and for one moment, you let yourself believe the lie, that Suguru could be himself again. That he’d give up this insanity for you.

A beautiful lie, really.

You nestle against him, wrapping an arm around his waist, burying your tired face against his neck, and Suguru feels himself breaking in two. Part of him wants to just… go back to how things were, to be good for you, but there’s still such hatred that’s eaten at him for years. Consuming him.

He knows hatred will win.

But as he holds the girl he loves, he hopes she’ll forgive him for what he's about to do.

More angst cominggg- this will be 6 parts loves <3

taglist #1 @ur-1fav-girl @gradmacoco @arabellasolstice @saitamaswifey @rjreins @uarmyhopeworldwide @makkiihehe @dabisdolly @angelzrulez21-blog @juicu @meme848 @arcanedx @satxoru @jeon-blue @longlivegojo @silvarys @enhasrii @inthedarkshadows000 @shokosmokes @schlokki @ashdiamashi @socutesotall @staarflowerr @you-need-namjesus @pkcoleight @tasteofapplecider @erenspersonalwh0re @makingtimemine @boobsbeesbongos @sjstg3 @msniks @hhhhhhhikariiiiiiii @l1v1ngzomb1e @lilbxtchsyndrome @voideddd @maddyhehehehhe @nanamiskentos @yenayaps @alygator77 @slamonwords @nonamevenus @sugurumylove @shibataimu @spicy-woodland-queen @nonamebbsblog @notyuralycat @beabamboo @satttanx

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forevamark · 1 month ago

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five stars!

his fingers aren't just fast with a mouse and keyboard!

pairing: cyberbully!Sukuna x f!Reader

content: mdni, fluff and smut, modern au, gamer bf!Sukuna, first meeting, pining, crushes, idiots falling for each other, they are both OBSESSED, oral (f!receiving), fingering, doggy style, unprotected piv sex

part of pick your player! (but can be read as a standalone!)

You never pictured yourself as the kind of girl to have an internet boyfriend.

Who, okay, technically wasn't your boyfriend.

Falling in love with a stranger was stupid.

Ridiculous actually, to have feelings for someone you hadn't even seen yet.

Sukuna was an asshole. The kind of guy who bullied new people off of servers and barely blinked at any kind of insults hurled his way, only retaliating when they snarled something sexist towards you, replying in chat with their name and address.

A modern day knight.

And it was cheesy, pathetically cringy in a way that wasn't even cute, but part of you liked to think that made you his princess.

Here you were, stuck thinking about the guy you met online months ago, trying to crush the butterflies that fluttered in your stomach every time he grumbled over the phone when you gamed together. Teasing and taunting and mocking most of the time - but he'd started to speak a little softer, offer little praises like he was proud of you after you won a match or survived for longer than a few minutes.

Company you were desperate to keep.

He listened to you. Defended you without a second thought these days. He wasn't a talker, didn't fill your ears with chatter the same way you did to him. But you still craved his voice, the rumble of his low chuckle and the rasp of his groans if you went a couple days without talking.

You shouldn't be so close. Shouldn't want to be so close. Especially considering you'd only started playing to impress someone who didn't seem to care - someone you ended up breaking up with because it was kind of embarrassing to get more attention from a guy you'd never met in person than your boyfriend of almost three years.

Why else would you fall asleep thinking about him instead? Wake up wondering if you were on his mind too or if it all only existed in your head?

Showing up at Sukuna's door was maybe the dumbest thing you'd ever done. Or at least, that's what you told yourself the entire drive over. Uruame had given you the address - and also insisted it was probably stupid.

And well, it was, but the hopeless romantic in you won out over the side of reason.

You just hadn't really expected him to take so long to answer.

Tapping your foot against the floor, fixing your skirt and your shirt with your free hand while you knocked again every few seconds, wondering if maybe he was in the shower or had his headphones on. He'd left your last message on seen, so he had to be awake at least. Or getting ready to meet the rest of your mutual friends for the meetup he planned.

You knocked for what felt like the hundredth time, knuckles hovering over the wood when it was suddenly ripped open, a bulking body blocking the light from inside and filling the frame.

Pink lips curled down in an intense frown, thick brows furrowed and drawn together as he fixed a sharp glare at you, his even pinker hair tousled back. Tattoos peeking out from under his shirt, the thin cotton of it stretched across his wide shoulders and pulled taut. And he was intimidating, sure, but it had never really mattered to you what he looked like anyway. You were already attracted to him for the person you'd gotten to know online, the muscles and the scowl and the sculpted face were more of a bonus.

"Hi," You breathed, looking up at him.

He was just blinking, the lines between his brows etching deeper the longer he stared.

"Um, sorry, I, uh, asked Uruame for your address. I hope that's okay, I just thought it'd be fun to surprise you," You stammered, palms starting to get sweaty from holding onto the gift bag in your hand for so long.

His expression didn't change, but the door opened a little wider, but there wasn't really any room for you to slip through past him. You ended up just pushing the gift bag at him instead, the tissue paper crinkling inside of it.

You could feel your own pout, the way your lips pushed together while you held your breath for him to tell you to fuck off or scoff something about you being just as dumb as you felt.

"You didn't need to buy me somethin'," Sukuna finally murmured, sticking his hand in and feeling around for the little crochet cat you spent hours staying up after you told him you were going to sleep making for him.

"I just, you know, was thinking about you, and I wanted to make you something," You mumbled awkwardly, toying with a ring on your finger and shuffling your feet but you couldn't take your eyes off of his, even when the intensity behind them was striping away IQ points by the second. "I know it's not very good, but I tried-"

He grabbed your wrists, firm fingers wrapping around them and pulling you inside. But your feet tripped up on the heels you'd picked out in the hoped he'd check out your legs or think you were cute, about to fall before his hands were steadying your arms. Yours wrapped around his sturdy waist, holding onto him for more than just stability.

He was warm.

His grip on you was unsure, hesitating for a second before he ran a large palm over your back in broad strokes. It was like a little kid who'd never been hugged before, stiff at first, a low grunt escaping his throat before he begrudgingly relaxed into it.

"Do you like it?" You asked, letting go like you weren't blushing as you gestured back down to your gift being half-crushed in one of his calloused palms. "The cat?"

"It's a cat?" He grumbled, raising a brow as he glanced between it and you.

You fully pouted now, reaching out to snatch it back from him.

"You don't have to keep it if you don't," You huffed, fingers grazing over the soft fuzz before he held it over your head out of his reach.

"Did I say I didn't?" He teased.

Somehow, you ended up in the seat next to him in some halfway decent restaurant, his hoodie hanging loose over you while your mutual friends went back and forth about how nice it was to finally meetup. You liked to think he had just noticed you were cold, or maybe just wanted to see you wearing something of his, but the same fluttery feeling kept you tapping your foot and sneaking peeks at him after he pulled your chair closer to his.

The legs of it scraped against the linoleum, his fingers sweeping over your arm in absentminded little motions, the edges of his nails sometimes scraping over the thick fabric of your hoodie. You wished it was your skin.

The conversation faded in and out, chiming in and chattering just to distract yourself from how close he was.

And how much closer you wanted him to be.

Sitting on the edge of your chair just so your thigh could press against his under the table, the hard muscles clad in dark jeans.

Hoping that if you just thought about it hard enough, he'd somehow read your mind and know how much you were dying for his other hand to slip under your skirt, to feel his rough palm on your thigh.

The food on your plate was gone, the fork forgotten and napkins crumpled up, the ice already melted by the time you pulled out your phone from your purse and saw almost two hours had passed.

You shoved it back inside, setting it on the table before leaning up, deliberately letting your lips ghost over his skin before you murmured in his ear. "Can we go back to your place and hang out longer? Just, um, us?"

"Just us?" He whispered back, deep and husky, the sound reverberating through as he breathed.

"I didn't get to see your gaming setup earlier."

It was a weak excuse.

One you knew he didn't even believe by the stupid smirk on his face as he looked down at you chewing on your own lower lip. Or by how quickly he grabbed the check and hurried over to the cash register.

But the hand on your back didn't drift south to cup your ass the way you anticipated walking back to his car. He asked questions instead, all gruff and stoic like he didn't really care for the answers, but you could see the way his eyes softened whenever he'd glance your way, knew it in the little lines of his face that he was still listening.

Even the songs playing on through his phone's Bluetooth were ones you'd mentioned to him in passing, a playlist you couldn't help hoping he made for you.

"Hey, I really just, well, appreciate you," You awkwardly spilled out, looking out the window, nervously bouncing your leg up and down while you forced the words out. You wanted to say you really liked him, but your tongue refused to cooperate, scared to get your hopes up in case it was all one-sided.

"Yeah, sure," He grumbled back, throwing another one of those stoic looks your way before facing the road again.

But his hand reached out to rest over your thigh, squeezing just hard enough to get your leg to stop bouncing.

He only moved it when he parked, gruffly muttering something under his breath that you should just stay the night. You weren't even listening to how he rationalized it, couldn't hear anything over your own heartbeat watching his sharp side profile as he unbuckled his seatbelt and stepped out.

You were rushing to pull yours free, grabbing your purse and pushing the door open too fast, accidentally hitting him in the side with it.

"Oh shit, God, I'm sorry," You immediately started apologizing, slipping out through the still half-open door and reflexively rushing to tentatively touch his side.

"S'fine," He insisted, but he didn't go to remove your hands, letting you tug his shirt up just enough to check that no bruise had started to form.

"Are you sure?" You hesitated, eyes lingering on the outline of his muscles, fingers softly grazing against his skin.

"Why? You wanna kiss it better?"

You blushed, hands dropping to your own side as you dragged your gaze back to the gravel pavement. The worst part was you did and you were pretty sure he knew it.

Saying something stupid, you shrugged it off and followed him back up to his apartment, pretending to not feel the flush burning underneath your skin, the electricity tingling through your veins every time his arm brushed against yours or his fingers skimmed against your waist.

He didn't give you a proper tour of his place, just shoving his hands in his pockets and letting you look through his stuff. Always hanging a step or two behind you as you peeked through his open living room and kitchen, jutting his thumb to the hall that branched off. "Everything's in my room."

You blinked, forgetting the entire reason you even said you wanted to come before you remembered he was referring to his computer.

"Oh, cool," You nodded, nervously smiling and fiddling with your bracelet as you stepped forward. "Bet it's probably way nicer than mine."

His chuckle was dry, following you this time as you padded down the hall to an already open door.

"I could upgrade yours, y'know," He offered, his gravelly voice so close to your ear almost making you shiver. "If you want."

"Really?" You glanced over your shoulder at him, unable to stop the smile tugging up on your face at the thought of him coming over to your place after this. "That'd be great. Would it be like, a lot, or-? I mean, I could pay you for the parts and time, or-"

"It's on me," He interrupted before you could keep rambling.

"What?" You had to force the word out, a surprised exhale.

"For the cat," Sukuna shrugged, as if he owed you some debt for a stupid poorly-made gift you hadn't even spent money on.

"That's way too much, I can pay-" You started as you stepped inside his room, but he was leading you over to his gaming chair by the wrist and plopping you down in it.

"Here it is," He wryly said, ignoring your protests and turning your attention back to his screen.

Still pouting, you tried to act interested, clicking through his game library and peeking at his settings and achievements. But his presence hung heavy, an invisible weight that only got harder to ignore the longer you sat there.

You stole another glance at him, your gaze sticking to his lips, wondering how they'd feel, what it might be like to taste them. You never considered he was thinking the same until they were suddenly on yours, soft and starving, tilting your head back to kiss you properly.

His palms were rough, but he was careful when it came to caressing your cheeks, holding you like you were something he was worried he'd break.

If it was him, you'd let him bend you into any shape he wanted.

You were returning the kiss back just as fervently, your canines nipping at his bottom lip as you sucked on it. Could he taste the desperation on you? The devotion? Or was it the aftertaste of his own on your tongue?

Before you could decide, he was picking you up and throwing you onto his bed. The breath was knocked out of you, but you were almost positive it was because of the palms running over your thighs and shoving your skirt up to reveal the little lacy set underneath.

Something you picked out hoping he'd see.

A quiet groan, practically a growl escaped him at the sight and then he was ripping those off, tossing them on the floor. He dragged you to the end of the bed, throwing one of our legs over his shoulder before diving in. Nose nudging against your clit and tongue eagerly lapping at your now exposed entrance.

You were gasping for air, instinctively reaching out to tug on his hair as your hips arched up to drive his tongue deeper. His grip on your thigh tightened, his free hand pushing your stomach down so he could eat you out precisely how he wanted.

He was the sort of guy who reveled in being the best at everything he did, which, you guessed included giving you head, controlling your pleasure and pulling your strings with every deliberate swirl and dedicated drag of his taste buds inside you.

And okay, perhaps you'd touched yourself a time or two imagining what it might be like to see if his mean mouth could back up any of his big talk, but you never imagined it'd feel this good.

Long stripes licked over your clit to collect any spare drop of you that leaked out, wrapping his lips around the sensitive bud and sucking like he was trying to set a world record for the fastest orgasm. Nipping and teasing as he shoved two thick fingers inside to fill you back up, groaning at each lewd moan of his name that left your lips.

And he succeeded, getting first place yet again as you cried out, a fuzzy feeling floating through you as he paused just long enough to strip the rest of your clothes off. Pulling and tugging and adjusting until you were fully nude in his bed, greedy hands touching and groping as he explored with a look crossed between lust and lovestruck.

"K-Kuna, fuck, please," You whined, struggling to wiggle under the force of his fingers plunging in-and-out, scissoring and stretching you open to prepare you for the real thing.

Hunger had twisted into need, the blinding kind that burned and seared through your veins, eating away at your bones until you felt limp, something for him to mold and use as he pleased.

"Please what, princess?" He teased, popping out the 'p's, his warm breath over your swollen and aching bud making you whimper as his fingers shoved back inside.

"Fuck me."

You went from staring up at his ceiling to being manhandled and flipped over onto your hands and knees, a sharp smack! branding your ass before he was practically tearing his own shirt off, struggling to get his zipper down and unbutton his jeans fast enough.

You were grinding back on him, feeling something hard and swollen press against your ass as he let out a sharp hiss at the contact.

"Put it in," You purred, pleaded, pitchy and weak as you felt a thick vein pulse and throb.

"Fuck," He gritted his teeth, rubbing the sore spot on your ass as he nudged his tip against your entrance. You squirmed, moving your hips in an attempt to make him slip in further, moaning at the first few inches pushing in. "You don't know what you do to me."

You hoped you made him feel half as intoxicated as he made you feel.

That he shared even a fraction of your obsession.

"Show me," You heard your own breathless challenge, nails clawing at the mattress right as he abruptly bottomed out, his hips smacking against your ass and the sound of skin-on-skin ringing through the room.

He paused for a second, cock throbbing as it pressed snugly against your cervix like he wanted to appreciate what he was claiming.

"Dreamed about this," He murmured, a husky growl that made you squeeze around him. You bit your lip to suppress your whimper, muscles tensing as you waited for him to move.

And God, you'd be dreaming about this forever.

You guessed it wasn't too different from the forever you were already fantasizing about with him.

"M-me too," You confessed, gasping when he started to pull out just to push all the way back in, setting a brutal pace from the start. His hands settled on your hip, holding you up when your thighs started to tremble, as if he could sense how each dizzying thrust melted your muscles into jelly.

"All mine now," He grunted, punctuating each word with another drive of his hips forward, one of his hands slipping up to push down on the arch of your back to deepen it.

But the pressure was enough to make your arms collapse, ending up with your elbows sinking into his mattress, the position allowing him to rest his chest on your back and bury himself deeper inside you.

Angled to reach that soft and spongy spot in the back each time, your makeup running down your cheeks as you hid your face in his blankets to muffle your moans.

His his his.

Was there anything better?

The idea of belonging to him, the intimacy of being split open and wrapped up in his arms, it all left you teetering on the edge, your body only held up by his strength as he molded you to each ridge and vein and throb of his cock.

"You wanna cum, pretty?" He murmured, his fingers skimming back over your ass, slowly reaching around to your front. You almost jolted when the pads of his fingers rolled over your clit, still oh-so-sensitive from the first climax he pulled from you.

"Please, please, please," You were begging, but you didn't care, couldn't. You just wanted more.

For all of him to take all of you.

He chuckled, and you'd heard it before, plenty of times. But this time, you were shuddering, shaking. Barely holding yourself together as he circled over your sore bud again and again, never letting up on his rough thrusts.

And when you snapped, you splintered.

Crying out his name for what felt like the hundredth time tonight, body no longer working or responding to the signals your brain was sending as white splotches scattered across your shut eyes.

He finished at the same time, a gutteral groan let out as something warm shot out, your thighs damp by the time he pulled out. Both of you leaning out onto your legs, but before it could drip onto the bed, he was picking you up and throwing you over his shoulder.

His skin was hot, burning to the touch, his breaths unsteady and uneven as he wrapped a string around you and carried you into a connected bathroom.

"Kuna," You murmured, blinking blearily and resting your face against his smooth back.

"What?" He grunted, carefully setting you down on the closed toilet seat and squinting at your wrecked state. You yawned, reaching up to brush a loose strand of sweaty hair out of his face.

"Be my boyfriend?" You asked, tilting your head to the side and hoping you hadn't just completely misread the past handful of hours.

"Seriously?" He tch-ed, looking down before he started towards the bathtub.

But you caught the corner of his mouth twitching up, the smile he tried to turn into a smirk.

"Is that a yeah?" You giggled, watching him start running the water, his hand under the faucet to make sure the temperature wasn't going to be too hot for you.

"Duh."

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forevamark · 1 month ago

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whenever I think of Satoru’s 6 inch long fingers, my brain chemistry gets altered

2K notes · View notes

forevamark · 2 months ago

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time lapse l.mk masterlist

the piece that has been two years in the making, my pride and joy, she's finally here. it has gone through so much editing and beta readers (shout out to my girl BFFs and moots you know who you are)

she's so long that i need to split her into chapters.

Pairing: mark lee x fem!reader

Tags: pre idol debut to idol au, christmas and new years time line, slice of life moments, college student reader, substantial plot leading to smut, very dialogue heavy, angsty moments, slow burn, relationship struggle, lovers to exes to lovers

Intended for 18+ readers, minors do not interact.

Word Count: ~60k

Summary: Mark has always dreamed of becoming a big music star, meanwhile your aspirations lay with academics and coexisting with Mark. Mark struggles with telling y/n that he will be leaving for Korea to pursue his music career very soon, fearing losing what they have.

warnings are under the tab.

Navigation

chapter 1: dreams and all 6.1k+ words

chapter 2: an angel and her devil(ed egg) 2k+ words

chapter 3: i'm gonna yak! 6.3k+ words

chapter 4:

chapter 5:

chapter 6:

chapter 7:

next update: first week of 2025

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forevamark · 2 months ago

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time lapse | 1. dreams and all

remember when i said ‘would be posted tomorrow.’..?

... and that was like... 2 years ago? well i lied. LOL life has been rough lately but alas my pride and joy is finished.

Pairing: mark lee x fem!reader

Intended for 18+ readers, minors do not interact.

masterlist for time lapse

ᥫ᭡.next

Word Count : 6.1k+

Summary: Mark has always had the dream of becoming a big music star, meanwhile your aspirations lied with academics and coexisting with Mark. Mark struggles with telling reader that he will be leaving for Korea to pursue his music career very soon, in fear of losing what they have.

warnings are under the tab for chapters that apply.

------------

“What do you think about this?” Mark asked as he sat above you strumming on his guitar. You were sitting on the floor between his legs focused on your eight-page paper.

“In a sec,” you reply while wrapping up the sentence you were on.

“Take a break…” Mark whined trying to pry the laptop from your speedy fingers.

“Mark, it’s due in two days. I will listen in a sec.”

“Mhmm.” He sulked, leaning back into the sofa and continuing his chord progression.

Days like this were stressful- due to the plethora of assignments that piled on- but soothing in a way. Your schedules never aligned this often, but Mark was so entirely enamored with you that he’d do anything to spend his free time just being with you.

“I can’t believe it’s been three hours and I only have my thesis done,” you sighed while resting your head on his knee.

“You got this,” he replies while running a hand soothingly through your hair while the other writes something down on the notepad next to him, “I believe in you.”

“Do you need anything to help you focus? Am I being too loud?” he asks while going to the kitchen and lighting your favorite candle, “I can make you a snack?”

“Do you mind getting me some fruit? I feel like I need some brain food.” You asked while cracking your knuckles and continuing to type away.

Mark nods and walks back over, handing you a cut persimmon with the skin peeled off. He always knew what you needed before even saying it out loud.

Humming in appreciation you immediately start chewing on the sliced fruit.

Eyeing him from the corner you see him looking out of your apartment window. It was raining hard outside, Mark’s favorite.

“Anything else you need to work on?” you ask. He shrugs his shoulders.

“Not much else, I want your opinion on what I have then I’ll see what I can add from there. Don’t worry though,” he turns to look at you with a small smile, “I can wait.”

Mark has always been supportive of your dreams and aspirations. It was a shock when he told you he wouldn’t be joining you at university, but rather pursuing music instead. Although an adjustment, you supported him and he rooted for you. It seemed to be working out, he passed the first two rounds of auditions for a big music company and it looked like things were finally looking up for him.

Some days you wouldn’t see him at all, and some days he picked you up from class and would stay glued to your side. He claims that he ‘soaked up inspiration from you’ hence the constant quality time and skinship. He knew you were working hard, pursuing a higher education was so important to you and your family, and he wanted to be present every step of the way.

Unbeknownst to you, Mark also had a dark cloud overlooking him just like the city in front of him. He hasn’t yet told you that he passed the third and final round of auditions for his company and would be slated to move to Korea before the end of the year to begin his training. He couldn’t bear to break the news to you, not yet. Not when you were so close to finishing one of your hardest semesters yet.

“I think I can pull you away from that screen now y/n,” he says while tugging you away from the black-and-white screen.

“Hey! I’m not finished yet! I thought you said you could wait” you pouted trying to get loose.

“You’ve been working nonstop, you aren’t being as productive anymore.” He chuckles while slotting you to the seat across from him.

“Hi.” he smiles at you.

“Hi,” you respond.

There’s a moment of silence shared between you two. The only sound was the soft pitter-patter from outside hitting the patio. Mark stares at you lovingly, you can tell something is wrong but you can’t find the words to ask him just yet, too entranced by the current hold he has on you.

“So, the song, yeah?” you finally whisper aloud.

“Hold on,” he replies, licking his lips and searching every inch of your face, memorizing this very moment to inspire him for what he’s about to play.

“What’s the holdup? Don’t get stage fright in front of me now Lee,” you lightly say while giggling.

“I, I just want to make you proud, okay?” he finally says with sad eyes.

“You always will, Mark.”

Guilt washed over Mark. Things were great, perfect even. But he just had to aspire for more. He should be satisfied with what he has now, he’s close to home, has a stable music career here in Canada, and most importantly, you. But just like you, he had the moon but he wanted every damn star in the galaxy. He didn’t want change, but nothing could satiate the hunger for something more. He was leaving, because he knew that this life, now, isn’t enough.

“Okay.” he takes a moment to gather himself, taking in some deep breaks and shaking his nerves out through his hands.

“Let’s hear it!” you shuffle sitting up straight in your chair.

Mark lets out one final breath before starting a low strum on his guitar. Flashes of memories throughout your relationship flash before his eyes. Your first snow day in Canada when you couldn’t get the ice off of your windshield, to the countless nights of watching reruns of Glee in your small shared apartment.

He hits the chorus for the first time, opening his eyes to look around the room, unable to look at you just yet. Pictures of you two littered the walls, filled with your smiling and laughing faces.

Mark mumbles small noises of nonsense to fill in the parts he doesn’t know what to put in between, sometimes trying out some lyrics at the top of his head. He shakes his head and chuckles when words don’t rhyme or quite fit, in return you share a smile enjoying him delving into his craft.

There’s something about the way that Mark can lose himself completely, in his little world and for brief moments you’re able to enter his mind, envisioning every note in a flow of synesthesia. He’s able to create color and landscape through sound, and what’s crazier is that he doesn’t even realize the extent of his art.

“And… I guess that’s it. What’d you think?” He asks as he lets out a final strum. The warmness of his music is still palpable in the room, despite the cold and dark weather that demands to be let inside.

You take another moment staring at the man in front of you. Mark bit his fingers in anticipation. His large white tee hung loosely on his shoulders, his ripped jeans bounced waiting for your feedback.

Everything is perfect.

Nothing can take this moment away from you two.

No words could exactly encapsulate how you felt so you decide to throw your arm around him.

Mark lets out a sigh of relief as he sets his guitar to the side, “So I guess you liked it?” then reciprocates by pulling you into his lap.

“I loved it, Mark. I can’t wait to hear it all together, I liked that chord progression, I can hear it on the radio one day,” you mutter into his shirt.

The pitter-patter of rain outside was accompanied by the soft whimpers from the man whose chin sat upon your head.

“I’m always going to be here for you y/n,” he jaggedly says.

You two sat in each other's embrace for what seemed like an eternity.

“Let me show you something,” he says, breaking the silence and adjusting your position to where your back is flush against him.

Mark sat the guitar in your hands, “Let’s start from the top, yeah?”

That night Mark taught you the song on his guitar, sometimes you filled in lyrics that felt right.

“They know we got the chemistry…” Mark sings.

“Love how your body feels on me, when you get back let me get that…” you finish with a small laugh.

“Yo!” he jumps up, lifting your laughing frame into the air, “That’s a bar!”

“Are you jealous that I may be a better rapper than you?” you giggle back.

“You’re coming for my career, baby girl!”

—

Six more hours.

Six more hours until this paper is due, and you’re almost done with this last page.

Six more hours until the hell that was this semester is finally done.

Six more hours until you can crawl into bed with Mark and take a long-deserved nap.

“Almost there baby,” Mark says while massaging your shoulders.

“I got this,” you say while typing furiously.

“Hell yeah, you do.”

Your train of thought was interrupted by Mark’s ringtone going off from behind you.

“I’ll be right back, when I come back you better have this paragraph done!”

Sending him a stiff salute you continued to trudge on as he stepped into your bedroom and closed the door.

“Mark! What’s going on my man? Happy holidays!” his new manager cheered into the phone.

“It’s going well, just spending some time with family and friends while I can,” he replies while lying down on your bed and grabbing a stuffed My Melody to hold against him.

“Well, I’m glad you have been enjoying your last moments of freedom while you can. Speaking of which, I do have an early Christmas present for you!”

“Awesome! What is it?”

“Well, the company wants you to start as soon as possible. I played them your audition and they think you can finish your training in less than a year!”

“That’s amazing!” Mark shoots up and runs his hands through his hair, “when do I fly out? Next year I hope?”

“Mark, I did say Christmas present didn’t I? You’ll leave the day after the 25th. I bought you some more time to spend with your family, but you’ll be spending the new year here, in Korea!”

Mark felt his heart drop. That was in two weeks.

Two weeks to eat all the food he can.

Two weeks to brush up on dancing.

Two weeks to say goodbye to his family.

Two weeks to erase all traces of his friend groups’ antics.

Two weeks till he has to leave you.

“Uh… two weeks… wow that’s really soon.”

“Absolutely! Now rest up Mark, this year is going to be the craziest experience of your life!”

His manager kept going on about the potential future he had coming for him. But Mark couldn’t seem to focus on all the newfound information. Slowly feeling the aroma of you envelop him fully, being surrounded by you everywhere, it was suffocating.

How is he going to tell you?

“I finished it!” he heard your jumps of triumph in the distance, echoing to the pits of his empty stomach, “I’m finally done with this God-awful semester! One more year till graduation!”

You burst through the door interrupting Mark’s pensive state, wrapping yourself into him.

“You okay babe?” you realize pulling away slowly, eyeing his sweating frame, “you look a bit sick, want me to make you some ramen?”

“Oh no I’m fine, just fine really,” he shallowly laughs pulling himself away from you and moving to turn on the fan, “just got a little warm is all.”

“Who called?” you asked before flopping on the bed and sighing, “was it your manager? Did you get the job?”

“Uh yeah…” he shuffled, not meeting your eyes, “It was my manager, he had some good news…”

“Oh my God, did you pass?” you pounced on him awaiting the news.

“Uh… yeah, I did.” he lied.

“Markie!” you showered him in kisses and tight squeezes, your love for him unfaltering, “When do you leave?”

“Not for another year,” he smiled, not looking at you.

“Hopefully you’ll still be here for my graduation…” you sighed, “Nonetheless I’m glad I get to keep you to myself for a bit longer.

—

December 25, 2022

“And this one's for you babe,” you smiled plopping the present into his hands. The Christmas tree behind him set the picture-perfect scene. Surrounded by your closest friends and family exchanging presents in your matching red and green pajamas, bellies full from the holiday feast, and presents waiting to be opened.

Mark happily obliged and ripped into the small package immediately. His eyes were wide as he lifted the contents with careful fingers.

“It’s a guitar pick,” you explained, seating yourself in his lap as he closely examined it, “so when you practice, you’ll always remember that I’m with you, cheering you on.”

Mark flipped the small piece over and nearly shed a tear at the small gold embossed scrawling you had designed a tiny heart.

“But hey, just because you have this doesn’t mean you can just stop cutting your fingernails! Also, it’s a reminder of me scolding you to stop biting your nails!” he chuckled lightly.

Mark didn’t have any words, mostly scared that he was going to start choking up if he even dared to open his mouth.

His present for you sat heavy in his pocket, the box weighing him down, anchored to the floor. Or was it the guilt that sat in his chest?

“Mark!” your friend Izaiah shouted while making his way over, interrupting Mark’s contemplation, “Heard the great news! So excited for you man! Look at you, finally pursuing your passion!”

“Thank you, man, I appreciate it,” Mark responds, reaching a hand out to dap him up.

“Say, can’t believe you’re leaving so soon, what a shame, your mom has been a mess crying every time she hears your name.”

“We will make the most of the time we have together that’s for sure,” you interject snuggling into Mark.

“Well, you two better hurry,” Izaiah says while looking at his watch, “Time's ticking…”

“Well, good thing he is leaving-”

Mark suddenly stands up meeting Izaiah before you can finish your sentence, “Yeah I mean we will make it feel like a year that’s for sure! Gotta spend as much time with my baby as possible!” While patting his shoulder rather harshly and pleading with him with his eyes.

“Uh… Dude did you not-”

“Izaiah! Did you try the cherry cheesecake that y/n made? It’s so good! Let’s go have some now!”

“But I’m allergic!”

“Be right back babe just going to get a slice!”

Mark pulls Izaiah to the kitchen in a secluded corner.

“Did you seriously not tell her yet? You leave tomorrow! Eighteen hours to be exact!” He harshly whispers to Mark.

“I just haven’t had the right moment to tell her yet…” Mark sighs, running a hand through his hair, “It’s going to break her.”

“You know what might break her more? She wakes up tomorrow and goes over to your house to only be told you left the country!”

“I know!” Mark yells a bit too loudly. Everyone in the house turned to the shouting two with questioning eyes.

“Sorry folks! Just talking about some music things!”

“Mark, you are going to quite literally ruin y/n. The only thing you are accomplishing-”

“A toast!” The pair were interrupted by Mark’s parents who asked everyone to gather around.

“We are not done here, you will tell her tonight,” Izaiah states, shoulder-checking Mark before grabbing a champagne flute and joining everyone.

Mark takes a moment to collect himself before plastering a fake smile and rejoining at your side.

“Thank you, everyone, for joining us here tonight, as you all know Christmas is such a lovely time for all of us to reunite and enjoy each other’s company,” Mark’s dad announces.

“It’s been so long since I’ve seen some of you, that I almost didn’t recognize a few!” a chorus of chuckles resounded before he cleared his voice and continued, “As some of you may or may not know, God has truly blessed one of our own with the opportunity of a lifetime,” everyone turned towards Mark with proud smiles, “And I would like to thank each and every one of you who supported and believed in our dear son. Mark, we are all so proud of you and can’t wait to see you make music for the whole world to hear!”

“That’s my boyfriend!” You shouted from the back, also receiving a coral of laughter.

“Though we may not see you for a while, just know we are rooting for you, all of us here at home, love you dearly,” his mom chimed in, raising her glass towards him, “to Mark.”

“To Mark!” Everyone cheered, raising their glasses in unison.

“To Mark…” you softly said confused while looking up at him.

Mark was sweating. Puddles.

He weakly lifted his glass and downed it in one gulp, not making eye contact with your questioning eyes beneath him.

“Baby? What does she mean for a while? You don’t leave for a long while?” you ask with lips pouted.

“Uh… I think she just means that you all won’t see me for a bit because… I uh… will be busy getting ready to leave for training is all! Yeah! I am just so excited to be diving into my craft!”

“Oh. Okay. She made it sound like you were leaving tomorrow or something,” you chuckled sipping from your glass, “So, what did you get me for Christmas?”

Already flustered, Mark was saved by his ringtone, “Not yet, lemme take this real quick, it’s my manager.”

You nodded, turning to wait for your turn for the karaoke microphone while he stepped out onto the porch in the cold.

“Merry Christmas Mark!” his manager sang to him, “How is your day going?”

“Uh…” he huffed out, a puff of visible breath leaving his mouth as he shivered, “It’s been good. Hard to say goodbye.”

“Well, it’s another Christmas miracle, Mark! Luckily for you, unlucky for the company, all the airports in Canada have been temporarily unable to send out or land any planes due to severe weather warnings so we won’t be able to fly you out for a bit. I went back and forth with the company and bought you some more time, so you’ll leave the first of the year! New year, new beginnings, am I right?”

Mark couldn’t believe his ears.

More time with you. More time to tell you.

“Are you serious?” he choked out.

“Yes! So please, tell that girlfriend of yours, I have a feeling you haven’t been able to break the news,” he pokes.

“Pshhh… what makes you think that?”

“Well, considering the first file you sent over to me of singing samples were painful ballads, I would guess that you haven’t told her or you two broke up. And I just know neither one of you could do that.”

Mark looks out down the street, blurry colors barely visible due to the heavy amounts of snow falling, “I’ll tell her soon. Just not on Christmas.”

The two spent a few more minutes talking about logistics and excitement before Mark went back inside.

How is he going to break the news to you?

–

Mark was able to successfully avoid you for the remainder of the party, too many aunties and uncles pulling him away to congratulate him- even sneaking a few bills and checks into his pocket- and asking way too many questions about the future that made his head spin.

From time to time he would look over and see you playing with the heaps of children with their new toys, or holding some lady’s newborn baby, or helping his mom pack people’s takeaway plates. One aunt had to quite literally snap her fingers in front of his face to redirect his attention because he couldn’t stop swooning over you holding a set of sleeping baby twins.

“I like her,” his aunt smiled while joining him in the hallway, “She’s the type you want to lock down.”

“I love her.”

“Then don’t break her heart, Mark, soon is coming whether you like it or not.”

You were now playing hide and seek with a few of the older kids and saw your bright red socks peeking out from under the tall curtains giving your spot away immediately.

“Only a coward will let something this small get in the way.” his aunt pats his shoulder before walking away.

—

“You know you never had the chance to give me your Christmas gift…” you trail while facetiming Mark in bed.

“You’ll get it soon, don't worry,” he laughs, shuffling the sheet music on his desk.

“You know, it is customary to exchange presents on Christmas right?”

“I am aware, I’ll give it to you next time I see you. New Year’s Eve right? We’re still going over to Izaiah’s?”

“I should be back by then.”

Trying to find the right time to tell you was arduous. The day after Christmas your family surprised you with a trip to New York to visit some of your family there. Just more time wasted where he couldn’t spend his last waking moments of freedom with you. Scrolling through Instagram, it tugged at his heartstrings seeing you smile and laugh with cousins you haven’t seen in a while, unaware of the disastrous news waiting for you at home with him.

Cheers to the end of Fall 2022! Your caption reads, a boomerang with you cheering to the camera, a pint of beer daring to spill over.

“What time is your flight tomorrow?” he asks.

“Nine pm,” you respond yawning, “a few more stops for sightseeing, then my cousin is dropping us off at the airport.

“Am I still picking you up to go back to the apartment?”

“Yes please.”

There was movement on your end of the camera due to your cousins wrestling you to the ground, trying to sneak a peek at Mark.

“Hi, hyung!” one of the younger ones shouted with a toothless smile.

“Hello hello! Please be careful with my girlfriend, she is highly valuable to me!” he chuckles, leaning back into his bed.

“No promises! She needs to take us ice skating now and she hasn’t gotten dressed yet!” he whines back.

“Okay okay, I surrender! Please get off, I’ll get ready now!”

Mark bids you a farewell and heads to bed.

One more sleep until it’s time to see you.

–

December 31, 2022

“Red or blue for tonight?” you shout from your closet.

“Hmm… I am wearing baby blue tonight. How about that dark blue dress you bought the other day?” Mark replies by sporting a towel around his waist and a toothbrush in his mouth.

“The sparkly one or the satin one?” you walk up behind him as he spits into the sink, taking in the options through the mirror.

“Definitely sparkly, it is New Year's Eve after all.”

“I don’t even want to go out…” you whine leaning onto Mark’s back and pecking his shoulder, “Can we just stay in…?” continuing a path of open mouth kisses to his neck.

“Hell no! Izaiah will kill us if we don’t show up! He’s been planning this all month!” he says trying not to give into your feeble attempts at seduction and focus on shaving his faint mustache.

“But I don’t wanna… the new year means another day closer to you leaving and I want to spend every minute with you!”

Mark’s back tenses at the mention of his departure.

“Yeah… me too baby,” he says, shrugging you off and heading towards the dresser to grab some boxers, “but let’s celebrate rather than think about that!”

The fresh hot shower couldn’t ease the nervousness that Mark felt. He was keeping this a secret.

Again.

From the moment he picked you up at the airport he tried, he really tried, to confess to you about his early departure. But the way you kept talking about your fun adventures from New York, he couldn’t just rain on your sunshine just quite yet. Then he decided he would tell you when you two got back to the apartment, after dinner. But you obviously had other plans as you decided to immediately jump his bones upon unlocking the front door. He even tried to disconnect your needy lips from his own, but alas he wasn’t just a man with needs- he was a simp with needs. And who was he to deny you of anything you wanted?

He decided now, as he was putting on his socks, that he was going to have to tell you before you two left for the party. Especially with how much of a loudmouth Izaiah is, everybody in attendance probably already heard of the news and his send-off the next morning.

Mustering up the courage to approach you, he eyed your frame standing at the mirror near the door, just putting the last of your lip gloss on for the night.

It’s now or never.

“Hey baby, I have something to tell you,” he said shakily, standing with knees that felt like they were going to give out any second.

“What’s up,” you respond, walking past him to grab your purse and then meeting him in the hallway.

“Just know, that I know that this is very last minute, and I probably should have told you sooner but I didn’t want to make the moment super emotional. I love you. You mean so entirely much to me, and I’m scared I would push you away,” he admits.

“Mark,” you start, taking his hand in yours to shut down his insecure thoughts, “It’s okay. I already know.”

“Wait you do?” he shouts incredulously, “who told you? Was it Izaiah? Oh my God, it was my mom wasn’t it? I told her not to say anything…”

“Baby no none of them told me, I was just waiting for you to show me?”

Mark cocked an eyebrow, “Show you…?”

“My Christmas present, right?” you chuckle shoving him lightly, “I don’t mind if you forgot, I know you’ve had a lot on your mind recently. So what, did it just come in or something? I’m sure the snowstorm probably delayed whatever it was.”

“Oh! Yeah… Right! Your Christmas present that’s what this is all about haha,” he says fumbling around then heads into the room to find the small box. The little angel on Mark’s shoulder was shouting at him to turn back around that instant to tell you the truth, meanwhile, the little insecure Mark on the other side sighed a breath he’d been holding in, glad to take a moment to collect himself. Mark reached into his bedside drawer and reappeared in the hallway to meet you.

“Merry belated Christmas, y/n,” he whispers, presenting the box.

“You’re not proposing to me, right?” you eye him breaking the palpable tension in the air, “because there is usually a part where you get on one knee and then there’s the speech.”

“No, no,” he laughs, “not yet at least,” he says with a wink, “gotta chase our dreams first.”

You open the tiny black box to be met with a small silver ring without a gemstone, but rather small engravings.

Forever it read on the outside

♡ Mark, it read on the inside.

“It’s a promise,” he starts, “a promise to forever be yours.”

He steps closer with every word, “a promise to forever be supporting you, near or far. A promise to love you even when you don’t love yourself.”

“And lastly,” tears pricked your eyes as you stared down at the ring, Mark so close that his breath fanned across your skin, “It’s a reminder that no matter how much of a dream this opportunity is, that you, you y/n, are my dream.”

He slots the ring on your manicured pinky before sliding his to intertwine with yours, “I promise, that I love you.”

Time stood still at that moment. Nothing could pull you two apart. Standing together with pinkies interlocked.

“I love you Mark, dream and all.”

“I love you forever.”

“Dream and all.”

–

“Finally they’re here!”

Izaiah did outdo himself with this party. Lights were strung up along the ceiling and banisters, bottles of alcohol lined the kitchen tables, and so many people there that they had to park around the block.

As Mark's heart sank with the weight of his secret, the party continued in the background. The music was loud, and people were dancing and laughing, unaware of the turmoil that was unfolding between you and Mark.

Confetti rained down from the ceiling, and balloons bounced around the room, adding to the festive atmosphere, but Mark couldn't bring himself to enjoy any of it. All he could think about was the fact that he was leaving and that he had hurt the one person he cared about more than anything.

As the night wore on, Mark felt himself becoming more and more detached from the party.

Many people came up to him with words of encouragement, pride beaming on their faces as he would go on to make your small town proud.

He watched as people wrote their New Year’s hopes on small pieces of paper and then taped them to the wall, their faces filled with excitement and anticipation. A couple of hours in, he sees you being whisked every which way by friends that were visiting home from university, he smiles knowing you have been looking forward to seeing them all year. Mark's heart was heavy as he looked around the festive New Year's Eve party. The excitement of the countdown to midnight, the laughter, and the clinking of glasses all seemed to fade into the background as he thought about what he had to do.

But Mark couldn't join in their celebration.

He knew that when the clock struck midnight, his world would be completely different.

“Tick-tock, Cinderella,” Izaiah whispers into Mark’s ear while passing by and then pointing at the clock above.

One more hour till midnight.

“Wanna dance for a bit?” he heard your voice from next to him, “or are you too busy being broody in the corner?”

Much to his dismay, you pulled Mark onto the dance floor. He couldn’t ignore the gnawing feeling in his chest as your hips melted into the rhythm of the song, your arms snaking up to his neck. He felt multiple sets of eyes land on you two, some filled with love, others in sadness, and some people even raised their cups in solemn of what’s to become of you two.

In just a few short hours, Mark would be leaving for Korea, pursuing the dream that you both talked so highly of. It was an opportunity that would change his life, but it also meant leaving behind everything he knew and loved.

Mark looked around the room, friends he grew up with, family that supported him through everything, you, you being his world. Was he really ready to leave this life?

“Girl, if I were you I’d be fucking him into the next year!” a drunk girl slurred while bumping into you two.

“I mean I plan on it!” you chuckled while trying to steady her rocking frame.

“I don’t know how you’re able to do it y/n… long distance that already sucks… him having to keep you a secret for the rest of his life? Damn, that’s even worse.”

Feeling flustered by the truth, you begin to talk down the reality, “Oh I feel secure enough in my relationship! I know Mark is just doing what he has to do for his career, but that doesn’t mean he loves me any less! We have great communication-”

“Pshh communication my ass! Did he even tell you that he leaves–”

“Okay! That’s enough! Too much to drink as always Mina, huh?” Mark shushes her while pulling her to a couch to lie down.

“Oh fuck off Mark, if you don’t want to tell her, I’ll tell her myself because you are too much of a pussy boy to do so!” she yells while being thrown onto the couch.

Gathering his wits, he makes his way back to you.

“What was that all about? What are you not telling me?” you ask, taking a step forward.

“Don’t worry about it babe, you know Mina gets too drunk at parties and keeps saying shit…” Mark sweats.

“Wait, you know that is weird because Riane also brought up something along the lines of “Oh wow he hasn’t told you yet?” when I was talking to her earlier… what are you hiding?” you suddenly feel the bottle of soju you had earlier.

“Not here please, not now…” he pleads, frantically looking around as people start to be intrigued by the madness happening in front of them.

“No, tell me now. New year, no secrets!” you stomp.

When the countdown finally began, Mark felt a sense of dread wash over him. He knew that once the new year began, his life would be changed forever.

“For fucks sake, y/n,” he says before pulling you outside.

He looked over at you, who was standing with your back turned to him. He wanted to go over to you, just hold you, to apologize, to make things right, but he knew that it was too late.

He had to face the truth.

“You have ten seconds to tell me, Mark,” you say with crossed arms, chests pressed against each other.

As if on cue, he hears the crowd from inside the house start the countdown into the new year.

10!

“I have been keeping a secret.”

“I haven’t been able to find the right words to tell you.”

“I did pass my audition and I will leave for Korea soon.”

“My manager called the other day to tell me I'm leaving on Christmas.”

“But I got an extension.”

“When do you leave Mark?” you ask with a shaky breath, eyes clouded with tears, as you stand watching the man you love break down.

“I love you, y/n, don’t forget that.” he chokes out.

“When do you leave Mark?!” you scream at him.

Time stilled as he just stared at you with a trembling lip.

“I leave today.”

As the countdown ended, and the room erupted into cheers, fireworks went off from the backyard. Mark felt a sense of emptiness inside.

“Happy New Year!” was ringing in his ears, the festivity inside contrasting the pit in his stomach. He knew that he was supposed to be celebrating, but he couldn't find it in himself to do so. All he could do was watch as you slowly walked backward, face twisted with pain.

You both stood there, both lost in your thoughts, as the new year began. And as the party continued around him, Mark felt more alone than ever before.

"What? When were you going to tell me? You waited till the day of?"

"I didn't know how," he said, his voice barely audible over the sound of the cheers. "I didn't want to hurt you."

You took another step back, tears streaming down your face. "You're leaving me?"

Mark reached out to touch you, but you pulled away. "No, y/n, it's not like that. I just..."

“You didn’t what?” you whispered finally stepping forward, him retreating backwards, “You didn't do what, Mark!” finally yelled.

“You lied! You lied to my face, of all secrets to keep, you kept this. For what? Think I couldn’t take it? Couldn’t bear the fact you’d be chasing your dreams? What is it?” you screamed, pushing him with each sentence.

Mark took every beating, the punishment for his personalized brand of torture he put you through. You hit his chest as he stood taking in every blow, face and body empty, a shell of the man you’ve come to love.

“So much for forever right?” you finally stop, “so much for dreams and all.”

“Baby,” he pleads, “baby please don’t.”

“No, because…” you lift your face, running your hands through your hair, your ring getting caught in the tangles reminding you of his promise, “fuck this Mark. This really was never going to work.”

“You don’t. You don’t mean that.” he shakes his head reaching out for you.

“I fucking mean it.” you say while staring at him and taking off the ring and throwing it on the ground, “I hope it works out for you Mark, I really do. Dreams and all.”

You left Mark there as he fell to his knees, cradling the ring that symbolizes everything you meant to him. The real engagement ring in his pocket never felt heavier in his pocket.

--------------

and i hope she was worth the wait? first three chapters are posted today. next chapter released first week of 2025.

open to feedback and reactions :*

happy holidays and happy new year <3

xoxo

forevamark

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forevamark · 2 months ago

Text

4. the unbearable truth | time lapse l.mk

Pairing: mark lee x fem!reader

Intended for 18+ readers, minors do not interact.

masterlist for time lapse

previous ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ next

Word Count : 5.5k+

warnings are under the tab for chapters that apply.

A/N: I'm so sorry this took so long! I'm trying to graduate rn just like y/n :( but enjoy the angst train!!

December 14, 2023

The creak of the old wooden floors under Mark’s socks was a sound he hadn’t realized he missed until now. The familiar scent of his mom’s cooking wafted through the house, mingling with the faint lavender detergent she always used for the curtains. He leaned against the kitchen counter, watching his dad flip through a worn photo album at the dining table.

“This one’s from the camping trip back in 2015,” his dad said, tilting the album for Mark to see. The photo showed a group huddled around a campfire, their faces lit by the warm glow. Mark was in the middle, arms slung around someone who was laughing—someone who wasn’t supposed to still make his heart twist like this.

His mom glanced over his dad’s shoulder and immediately caught her slip-up. “Oh, Mark, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize Y/N was in this one,” she said, her voice tinged with regret.

Mark forced a small smile, waving it off. “It’s fine, Mom. Really.”

But it wasn’t. Not entirely.

They moved on to the next page, yet the conversation seemed to circle back to you, no matter how much they tried not to.

“Oh! Remember that Thanksgiving when Y/N helped me bake those carrot cookies?” his mom said before catching herself. She winced. “I mean—uh, anyway, you used to love that carrot cookie recipe.”

Mark exhaled softly, rubbing the back of his neck. “Yeah, I remember.”

His dad chuckled, oblivious. “She was always such a great sport about all your mom’s baking experiments. You two used to make a good team in the kitchen.”

“Dad.”

His father finally looked up, realizing his mistake, and his face softened. “Sorry, son. I know it’s... a touchy subject.”

Mark shrugged, swallowing the lump in his throat. “It’s fine. Let’s just... talk about something else.”

The room fell into a brief, awkward silence, broken only by the clatter of dishes as his mom set the table. After a moment, she sat down across from Mark, her expression unusually serious.

“Mark,” she began, her voice gentle but firm, “I know we keep slipping up, but... maybe it’s because we can’t help but associate so many happy memories with her. She was such a big part of your life. And I think—maybe—you miss her, too.”

Mark stiffened, his gaze dropping to the table. “Mom...”

“And not just her,” she pressed. “I think you miss a lot of things. Home, maybe. The simpler times. The you who didn’t have so much pressure on his shoulders.”

His jaw tightened, and he let out a slow breath. “I’m fine. I chose this path, remember? I wanted to go to Korea, to chase my dreams. And I’m doing okay.”

“You are,” she agreed, her eyes softening. “But that doesn’t mean it’s easy. And it doesn’t mean you don’t feel lonely sometimes.”

He looked up at her, his defenses cracking under the warmth of her gaze. “I... yeah. I miss her. And I miss home sometimes. But leaving was something I had to do, Mom. I couldn’t stay here and wonder ‘what if’ my whole life.”

“I know,” she said quietly. “But it’s okay to miss what you had, even while you’re building something new. It doesn’t make you any less brave or successful.”

Mark leaned back in his chair, the weight of her words settling over him. “I guess... I’ve just been trying not to think about it. About her. Or what I left behind.”

“You don’t have to bury it, honey,” she said. “Feel it. Remember it. And then let it be part of what drives you forward, not what holds you back.”

Mark nodded slowly, his chest feeling a little lighter, though the ache remained. Maybe it always would.

The table was quiet for a long moment, the hum of the old fridge filling the space. Mark sat there, his fingers gripping the edge of his chair as his mom’s words echoed in his mind.

He opened his mouth to say something—anything—but instead, a choked sound escaped. He quickly looked away, blinking rapidly as the pressure in his chest grew unbearable.

“Mark?” his mom asked softly, leaning forward.

“I’m fine,” he said hoarsely, shaking his head. But his voice cracked, betraying him.

Before he could stop himself, his head fell into his hands, and the tears came.

“I miss her, Mom,” he said, his voice muffled but thick with emotion. “I miss her so much.”

His mom was at his side in an instant, her arms wrapping around him. She didn’t say anything, just held him as he let everything out.

“I miss everything,” he continued, his words spilling out like a dam had burst. “I miss sneaking into her house at night, trying not to wake her parents. I miss the way she’d laugh at my stupid jokes, even when they weren’t funny. I miss how she’d make me feel like I could do anything, like I was invincible. And I miss home—your cooking, Dad’s dumb stories, the way things used to be before I left.”

His shoulders shook as he let out a shaky breath, his hands clenching into fists. “I thought I could just leave and be okay, but I’m not. I’m not okay, Mom.”

She rubbed his back soothingly, her heart breaking for him. “Oh, Mark... it’s okay to feel this way. You’ve been holding all of this in for so long, haven’t you?”

He nodded, swallowing hard. “I thought I could just keep moving forward, you know? Like if I focused on my career, it wouldn’t hurt so much. But every time I think about her, it feels like... like I can’t breathe.”

His dad, who had been silent until now, finally spoke. “You know, son, sometimes the things we try to leave behind have a way of sticking with us. And maybe that’s not such a bad thing. It just means it mattered.”

Mark wiped his face with the back of his hand, his chest heaving as he tried to catch his breath. “I still love her, Dad. I don’t know if I’ll ever stop.”

His dad nodded, a small, understanding smile on his face. “Love like that doesn’t just go away. But the question is—what are you going to do about it?”

Mark looked up, his eyes red and glassy. “I don’t even know if she’d want to hear from me. It’s been so long. What if she’s moved on?”

“Maybe she has,” his mom said gently. “But you’ll never know unless you try. And even if she has, at least you’ll have said what’s in your heart. You deserve that closure, Mark, whether it’s a new beginning or a final goodbye.”

He let those words sink in, the weight of them settling alongside the ache in his chest. For the first time in a long while, he allowed himself to think about the possibility of reaching out—not just to her, but to all the parts of himself he’d tried so hard to leave behind.

“I’ll think about it,” he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper.

His mom squeezed his shoulder, her smile warm and reassuring. “That’s all I ask.”

“You’ll always be tethered together you two,” she starts with a warm smile, “you two spent so much of your lives together, it’s not good to keep them buried. It’s good that you still care about her. I know it may not look like it, but deep down she’s still tethered to you.”

And as Mark sat there, the smell of his mom’s cooking filling the room and his parents’ presence grounding him, he realized that maybe it was time to stop running—from his past, from his feelings, and most of all, from her.

“I need to get her back,” he said straightening out his posture and composing himself, “this isn’t right without her.”

“There we go Mark!” his dad said while getting up to hug him, “you don’t give up.”

Mark was going to your graduation, and you were going to fall back in love with him.

December 15, 2023

The morning light streamed through the curtains, illuminating your small apartment with a soft, golden glow. You stood in front of the full-length mirror in your bedroom, your graduation gown draped over your shoulders. Your fingers smoothed the fabric absently, your heart caught somewhere between excitement and an ache you couldn’t quite ignore.

Your gaze shifted to the black cap resting on your desk, its surface decorated with tiny, carefully arranged rhinestones and a bold quote in gold lettering: hello, future!

Mark had insisted on helping you with it, staying up late one night despite his own schedule being packed. He’d teased you for picking a simple quote but still carefully glued each gem, making sure it was perfect. You remembered the way his face lit up when you two finished, his arm slung around your shoulders as you admired your work.

You bite your lip, willing yourself not to cry.

You turned back to the mirror, adjusting the cap over your styled hair. Your eyes caught the delicate heels on the floor, pristine and elegant, a stark contrast to how you felt inside. Mark had worked overtime to save up for them, presenting them with a goofy grin and a note that read, For my rockstar, who shines brighter than any stage light.

Your chest tightened as you slipped them on. You hadn’t worn them since your breakup.

Walking into the living room, you froze at the sight of the couch. It was still the same soft, slightly worn piece of furniture where you two had spent countless nights. The memories flooded in uninvited: Mark sprawled out with his guitar, humming softly while you reviewed her notes; the way he’d throw a blanket over you two as you drifted off during late-night study sessions; the quiet comfort of his presence as you dreamed of your futures.

Your throat closed up, and you sank onto the couch, your fingers tracing the armrest. A small brown stain reminding you of your favorite take out, and the small things that only Mark would know at the perfect time.

The weight of the moment hit you all at once.

You were about to graduate, something you had both worked so hard for, but he wasn’t here to celebrate with you.

As you rested your head against the cushions, your cap slipping slightly to the side. Tears welled in your eyes, and this time, you didn’t fight them.

“I can’t believe I’m doing this without you,” you whispered into the empty room.

Your voice wavered, breaking under the weight of emotions you’d kept buried for months.

You missed him—more than you wanted to admit. Mark had been there for everything: your late-night breakdowns, your victories, your dreams. And now, as you stood on the brink of achieving one of their shared milestones, the absence of him felt unbearable.

Taking a deep breath, you straightened up, brushing away your tears. You reached for your phone and opened the private photo gallery, scrolling through old pictures of you two. There you two were, smiling brightly, you in his hoodie and him grinning as he held your favorite drink in one hand and peace signs in the other.

Your thumb hovered over his contact, the familiar name staring back at you like a ghost of the past. You wondered if he was thinking about you today—or if he even remembered the cap, the shoes, the promises you made on this very couch.

Your phone buzzed suddenly, snapping you out of your thoughts. It was your photographer, letting you know they were ready to start.

As you stood, taking one last look around the apartment, the memories lingered, but so did your determination. You adjusted your cap, forcing a small smile in the mirror.

“Here’s to moving forward,” you murmured, even as your heart whispered,

But I still miss you.

With that, you grabbed your bag and stepped out the door, leaving behind the echoes of a love she wasn’t sure she’d ever fully let go of.

–

The sun was unforgiving as it bore down on the packed university auditorium, the air abuzz with excitement and the murmur of proud families gathered to celebrate their graduates. Seungcheol sat near the top of the auditorium, nervously adjusting the collar of his white button-up for the hundredth time. It was already perfectly straight, but he couldn’t stop fidgeting. He glanced down at the bouquet of flowers in his hand—roses, lilies, and baby’s breath, a group of flowers he bought from Winn Dixie.

“She’s going to love these,” he muttered under his breath, though his voice lacked conviction.

Nearby, your family huddled in a tight circle, their expressions a mix of anticipation and mild irritation as they avoided looking his way. He had made his presence more than known since arriving—offering to carry their things, insisting on getting the best seats, and loudly recounting stories of how Y/N had stayed up late preparing for her exams, as if they didn’t already know.

“Is he ever going to stop talking?” your older brother whispered to your mom, who responded with a barely concealed sigh.

“Doubt it,” your dad grumbled, crossing his arms. His sharp glare cut across the distance between them, and Seungcheol froze mid-step as if the weight of their collective disdain had finally hit him.

Still, he wasn’t the type to give up. He tightened his grip on the bouquet and plastered on a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “I just want to make today special for her,” he murmured to himself, more determined than ever.

“Oh we know, Seungcheol,” your mom sighed while patting his shoulder and sitting next to him, “I think they’re about to walk out now.”

–

You straightened your cap one more time, as Pomp and Circumstance played in the background.

It’s time! All of this hard work, it’s time!

The crowd erupted into congratulatory cheers as your graduating class walked out. The journey to your seat felt like a blur. Your leg tapped incessantly waiting through all of the fluff and pleasantries from your esteemed professors. And soon enough, it was your time to walk.

Your row stood together heading towards the stage, and you wince as you hear Seungcheol calling out to you, clearly disregarding the current students’ names being called. You look over to him, your family trying yet failing to get him to pipe down.

His grin was infectious, but you were burning red in embarrassment. The large gaudy balloons behind him stared back at you. As you awaited your turn, your eyes scanned the crowd full of familiar faces from the library and just soaking in the moment.

And as the universe would have it, your eyes meet a single hooded and masked figure in a light blue button up. His phone was up clearly pointed at you.

Mark.

Wow, he really came! You couldn’t believe it and the confidence soared through you fleetingly as you felt yourself being pushed forward to hand your name card to the staff member reading out names.

“Y/n, Y/LN!”

You felt a rush of anxiety roll off you as you shakily walked across the stage to shake the dean’s hand.

“Breath, y/n, you’re finally done!”

You follow their advice and plaster a giant smile towards the camera.

Your friends and family’s cheers were loud but Seungcheol’s was embarrassingly aggressive.

Your ears pick up another voice from the other side of the auditorium.

Mark stood jumping up and down, holding his phone tightly and just about fell over through the row in front of him.

He chanted your name and for some reason, it all felt right.

This is the moment you always wanted.

You smile all the way back to your seat.

As Seungcheol didn’t relent on his own parade of accolades and cat calling, Mark sat down and watched you in awe.

“I’m so proud of you, Y/N,” he whispered.

–

“Congratulations!” Seungcheol said as he held out the bouquet and obnoxious balloons, his grin impossibly wide. “You were amazing up there! You looked so good, and I mean wow this dress—”

“Thank you,” you cut him off gently, taking the flowers and squeezing his hand to calm his nerves. Or was it your nerves… what was Mark doing here? I mean yeah your heart is soaring at the fact he came- WHAT? NO!

He smiles at you wildly, pulling his hand away to engulf you in a giant rocking hug. You embrace him back, letting out the sigh you have been holding in for hours now.

This is fine.

Yup.

Your father cleared his throat loudly, a not-so-subtle reminder that they were watching.

“Alright, family picture time!” Seungcheol announced, clapping his hands together. “I’ll take it for you. Everyone line up!”

Your mom raised an eyebrow, her tone as sharp as ever. “We were just about to do that, actually.”

“Perfect timing, then!” he replied, oblivious to the sarcasm.

As your family reluctantly shuffled into position, Y/N placed a hand on Seungcheol’s arm. “Maybe... let them lead this one,” you whispered.

Seungcheol blinked, his enthusiasm deflating ever so slightly. “Right. Of course. Family moment.” He stepped back, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.

Seungcheol backed away slowly, trying to make himself busy by staring at the nearby tree… which of course Mark just so happened to be standing by, watching the entire interaction, his body in mid turn, awaiting to retreat into the crowd. He was embarrassed to even show up… you’re happy right?

Their eyes met with quick anger and jealousy.

Mark’s arms filled with white and pink tulips- your favorite, and the build-a-bear box tucked in his palm.

Seungcheol was about to storm towards him but was quickly whisked away to take a picture with you.

You sported a tight lipped smile as his arm found it’s way to your waist.

As Mark watched you hug Seungcheol, he felt the familiar tug at his heart of seeing you and and him at Izaiah’s party the other week. Angst, hurt, and jealousy flowed through him, but most of all envy and cowardness.

Mark’s shoulders hung low, and he turned around trying to find the quickest and quietest exit.

“Mark, right?” he heard a small voice say from next to him.

He turned to see the build a bear employee from the mall.

“I could tell from the box, have you found her yet?” she asked excitingly.

“Yeah, I did,” he responds sadly.

“Well, why do you still have everything in your arms? I don’t know… give it to her, maybe?” she laughs.

Mark sighs meeting her gaze. Oh? She’s in a full graduation cap and gown, how rude of him!

“Oh! Uhm…ha, Congrats to you! My apologies for having you stop me while I burden you with my …problems,”

“Thank you,” she smiles with hands on her hips, “My name is Camille by the way.”

“Mark,” he says with a small smile.

“Like we didn’t already know that haha…” she pushes him lightly.

As Camille tried to convince Mark to approach you, he was so in his head that he didn’t notice the longing eyes from you just yards away.

So this is how he moves on, huh? And to think he cared! All this time, it was for his new girl…

The girl pushes him lightly causing him to chuckle and it feels like someone stabbed you in the stomach. She looks over at his bouquet and take it out of his hands, smelling the fresh tulips. It feels like someone is twisting a knife around in your stomach.

And the cherry on top of killing you slowly was watching him hug her tightly with his eyes closed.

Your aura was palpable to your friends and family, almost as they can envision the slow bleeding out of your heart as you watched the interaction.

“How about we head to dinner now, y/n,” Kathy says to you softly from your right.

“Who even is she anyways?” Izaiah says from your left.

“The new graduate is riding with me of course!” Seuncheol announces while slinging an arm around you, “just let me take care of something first.”

You nod lightly and walk over to your mom explaining the plans to meet up for the gathering. Seungcheol kept his smile plastered until you were lost in the crowd. His eyes narrowed as he pushed his way over to meet Mark.

“So what did you graduate with?” Mark smiles lightly before taking the flowers back from Camille’s arms.

“Got a lot of nerve showing up here, Big Shot,” Seungcheol hisses out while bumping into him.

“It was psychology…” Camille says with a questioning glare between the both of them.

“Thank god you moved on,” Seungcheol laughs before looking at Camille, “Careful with this one!”

“I think I see what’s going on here…” she says with a tight lip, “Mark, this will be an easy win for you don’t worry.”

Mark laughs lightly while taking in a deep breath, “Thanks Camille. Enjoy your day, congratulations again.” Camille walks off while shaking her head, but not without a hard shoulder check towards Seungcheol.

“Of course I would be here for her big day, I’ve been there every step of the way.”

“You were, now you’re not. Just give it up, bro,” Seungcheol says while moving closer to Mark, his own frame towering over him, “Look at her, yeah,” he turns Mark to align with you smiling with the balloons around you, “That’s the face a girl makes when she’s happy. That’s the face a girl makes when you treat her right,” if that wasn’t enough he whispers into Mark’s ear, “That’s the face a girl makes when she moves on from a little bitch.”

Mark shakes in pain.

You look so happy.

“Can’t you just let her go? For her.”

Mark’s hands loosen on the bouquet of tulips in his hands.

You look so much more happy.

“Don’t worry, I’ll take these off your hands,” Seungcheol says with a smirk, “Thanks man, didn’t think she was a tulip girl,” he grips Mark’s arm as he seeths out a final, “Stay the fuck away from her. It would be a shame if you can’t perform due to…say a broken leg?”

Mark stands still as tears well in his eyes.

“Cheol!” he can hear you calling out for him.

“I’m coming babe!” he yells out and let’s go of Mark while walking over to meet you.

“There you are, time to go now,” you smile, not evening noticing Mark’s sulking in the background.

“Just had to surprise you one last time,” he grins and engulfing you in a hug, turning just slightly to wink at Mark.

“Tulips! How did you know they’re my favorite?”

Because of me. Mark tries to say, but his voice fails him.

Seungcheol sneaks a cheeky kiss on your temple, “Wait I think I dropped my keys one sec! You keep walking I know you walk slow in those heels.”

You roll your eyes and walk away, Seungcheol running up to Mark one last time, “Almost forgot!” He snatches the build a bear box right out of his hands, “Thanks Mark, you always did know what to get her!”

His eyes never leave you as you trot along in your heels towards the parking lot. Amidst the throbbing pain in his chest, a realization hit him.

He couldn’t help the laugh that escaped him. So much so he bent over and leaned against the tree to hold him up. Maniacal, he sounded.

If you didn’t love him anymore, why did you wear those heels?

—-

The cool December air hums with laughter and the flickering glow of fairy lights were strung across the backyard. The scent of barbecue and freshly cut grass lingers in the air, mixing with the distant sound of chatter and music. It’s your graduation party—your moment. After the past year, after all the pain, the doubt, the nights where you thought you’d never make it through, you finally have something to celebrate.

So why does it still feel so… unreal?

“Hey,” Kathy nudges you, pulling you from your thoughts. “You should actually enjoy this, you know? This is everything you worked for.” She gives you a pointed look before taking a sip from her cup. “You deserve to be happy.”

You exhale, trying to let the words sink in, but there’s a part of you that still hesitates. You glance around at the people who have come to celebrate—your family, your friends, even the neighbors who barely know you but showed up for the free food. It’s all so perfect. Too perfect.

“It just doesn’t feel real yet,” you admit, voice quieter than you intended.

Kathy smiles, but there’s a knowing glint in her eyes. “Well, it is. And if you don’t start acting like it, I will personally make you.”

Before you can respond, another voice cuts through the air.

“Oh, come on, are we really just gonna ignore the elephant in the room?”

You turn to see Izaiah, standing with his arms crossed, shaking his head in clear disapproval. He doesn’t even bother lowering his voice as he jerks his chin toward the other side of the yard, where Seungcheol is deep in conversation with your uncle.

“Because that guy? He’s the worst.”

Your stomach tightens. “Izaiah, not now.”

“Nah, now is the perfect time,” he presses, stepping closer. “We’re all thinking it, Y/N. I literally just talked to your brother about him. He sucks! You’ve been pretending to be happy, but you don’t have to force it. Yes, you have been out more, but it doesn’t feel like you. You’ve had a rough year, sure, but that doesn’t mean you have to settle for some guy who acts like a dick every time he speaks.”

Kathy chokes on a laugh, trying to play it off when you glare at her.

“Hey he’s funny!” Kathy chuckles, “He pulled our girl out of her funk.”

“Are dumb or are you stupid? She’s still in the funk! Girl open you’re eyes!” Izaiah exclaims.

“Zai, I’m fine,” you say, the words coming out sharper than you intended.

“Are you?” He doesn’t budge. “Because you don’t look like someone who just got their life back on track. You look like someone trying really, really hard to convince themselves they’re okay.”

You open your mouth to respond, but before you can, your mom’s voice rings out from the deck.

“Alright, everyone! Let’s head on inside, it’s getting pretty cold. It’s time for presents!”

The conversation halts, tension still thick in the air. You force a smile and step away, feeling Izaiah’s gaze linger on you, filled with something dangerously close to concern.

“Everything is fine. This is what I have always wanted.”

“We’re not done talking about this.” Zai rolls his eyes and looks at Kathy, “Can’t believe you support dating this child of a man.”

“We’re not dating, yet.” you whisper.

“He’s hot!” Kathy shouts at him as she watches Zai pull a middle finger at her from behind his retreating frame.

Seungcheol was at the door girating his hips while beckoning everyone inside with some silly shouting.

Zai turns around one last time to shoot you both a disappointed glare.

“Well, he can be hot at times…” Kathy takes back.

As you make your way to the stack of neatly wrapped gifts, you push down the words you don’t want to admit are true. Maybe Izaiah isn’t wrong. Maybe you are pretending. Maybe you aren’t as happy as you want to be.

But tonight isn’t the time to think about that.

Tonight, you’re supposed to celebrate.

Even if you don’t quite know how.

You sit on the cushioned patio chair, a pile of torn wrapping paper and envelopes gathering at your feet as the night continues with your loved ones around you. Your dad stands nearby, his phone raised, recording every moment while your friends and family watch with warm smiles.

“Alright, last one,” you say, reaching for the final gift on the table.

The moment your fingers brush against the box, a flicker of recognition sparks in your chest. It’s a Build-A-Bear box—white with blue stars, the signature handle looped through the top. A few people chuckle knowingly, but you can’t bring yourself to look up just yet.

And then you see it.

“Whose this one from?” You raise an eyebrow at the only left suspect.

“Guess who!” he laughs uncomfortably.

You barely notice as you get up to sit next to him, “So which one did you get me?”

“It’s a surprise!” he says with a smirk.

Your hands feel a little too steady as you carefully lift the lid, peeling back the tissue paper inside. A plush bunny, soft brown fur, wearing a tiny graduation cap and gown. Your stomach clenches as you pull it out, holding it in your lap. There’s a faint weight to it, heavier than a normal stuffed animal.

“This is so cute!” Kathy gleams from the side holding her camera up, “look over here for a pic!”

Izaiah rolls his eyes again as you two get scooched together for a picture.

You turn the bunny to look at you, and you couldn’t help but have a wide grin.

“You like it?” Seungcheol asks oddly smug.

“Of course, I love it,” you say with a small peck to his cheek, “wait I didn’t know you put a voice recording in it!”

“Oh!” Seungcheol exclaims while grabbing the bunny out of your arms and holding it out of your reach, “Forgot about that sorry!”

“Well, let me hear it!” you say confused.

“Let’s hear it, lover boy!” your dad playfully yells from the side with his camera out.

“Uh… it’s a little personal don’t worry guys just a bit embarrassed…” he sweats.

“Just play the fucking bunny, y/n!” Zai shouts grabbing the stuffed animal out of his hands and throwing it at you.

The audience in front of you cheering for you to press it.

“Y/n, don’t-”

You press the little button on it’s hand.

The audio begins with an undeniable stutter.

A stutter that makes everyone go silent, you gasp.

“Is it on? Okay. U-uh hi Y/n, congrats. You finally did it. I can’t believe you’re already done. Just know that I have never stopped thinking about you. Every time I’m at the studio, practice – fuck I just wish I would have known that chasing my dreams meant losing you. I wouldn’t have picked this. It was supposed to be us, everything I sing, it’s about you. It’s so hard without you. But. This is the life we live in. I’m happy that you’re happy. This bunny represents your dreams and all starting. Y/n. I can’t wait to read your book one day. Just know I’ll always love y–.”

The audio cuts right before he finished. A silent sob overflows.

“y/n,” Seungcheol says while reaching out for you.

“Go home.” Zai says cutting him off, using his body as a barrier.

“I just-”

“Go home,” Kathy sighs while ushering him away.

“Alright party’s over everyone!” Your mom calls out solemnly gesturing for everyone to leave.

--------------------------------

Seungcheol... i'm bout to beat you up!!!

hehe anyways, sorry this took so long :(

as always, lmk your thoughts, questions, predictions... lowk the more the better it makes me feel motivated to post these bc it reminds me that there are people who will actually read my works and it's not just a little hobby to satisfy my delulu <3

xoxo eva

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