#''Wife'' is about vibes not gender lol

[coockie8]

what are ed and roy like after they get married?

Immediately after tying the knot, Roy talks about and introduces Ed to people as his "wife", in a kinda joking jab at what a notorious Wife Guy™ Hughes was, but when it turns out Ed really doesn't give a fuck about gender, like, at all, Roy sticks with it 'cause "wife has more kickass than husband" and it helps him feel closer to Hughes, who he thinks would be thrilled he's finally "settled down with a good wife" :)

[lvnesart]

yo!! you've converted me to knavillette, and i've been wanting to hear more about your dynamic hcs for them....and i had a question, if you don't mind,,,do you see arlecchino as the husband because she's a top/dom, or because of gender vibes (or because she plays the stereotypical masc role in the relationship?)? /gen asking because i think i'm going to have a gender realisation

Answering your question: I don't tie the top/bottom thing to being more fem or masc cause that's silly to me personally

Arlecchnio is the husband because Gender. She's probably fine with being referred to as wife, but the Genderism goes !! when Neuvi calls her husband. Neuvi himself doesn't mind either way. The husband and wife thing is a fun thing between them (playing into the stereotype, even tho theyre not actually married) but it has nothing to do with their sex positions/preferences lol

The pure glee i feel everytime someone gets into knavillette is astounding!! Bring me more! Hcs, music recs, ill take anything!

[yanderu-deredere]

THE SLASHER COUPLE IS SO GOOD 😍

Pretty please, if you feel like writing some for them, would love to read more about Emm tying Casimir to the autopsy table… or maybe them tying their darling to it 🤭

a/n: thank you so so much for the awesome ask! heehee, i've been wanting to write about this since i offhandedly mentioned it and im so glad there's someone else that wants to hear abt it too!

i decided to write for darling instead of cas becos i felt like there wasn't enough major yandere vibes on this blog so have this alternate ending to. will i ever write the canon ending? mayhaps

you can read this as a stand alone but it will refer to some stuff from the original series here! but! this is an alternate ending to that original series. i still have plans for how i want that to end heehee

warning: gender neutral reader but mentions of cock going into an entrance, major yandere vibes, non-con to dub-con, mentions of semi-descriptive gore, bondage? definitely bondage LOL, emm wears strap-on and it's referred to as her cock

word count: ill add this later cus im on mobile

emm fiala ★ casimir fiala

You should've known something was wrong the moment the couple had treated you with such kindness, such sweetness.

It had been too good to be true and you were the fool that fell for it.

"Now, darl', you need'ta understand--"

"I don't need to understand anything." You snapped at her, body tense and ready to run as she faced you like one would face a feral animal "Where are my friends?"

"Your friends? You mean those people that demeaned you and talked behind your back?" Casimir scoffed from beside Emm, his face both mocking and angry.

You had no clever retort to that but, still, you answered, your eyes darting from them to the door "I at least know that they wouldn't leave me here."

"You are definitely right about that, my love." Casimir sneered and it made you both flushed and nervous

You tried to put the puzzle pieces together. You couldn't find your friends or their things but the tire hadn't been fixed yet and you knew that they'd never leave you behind.

If they wouldn't leave you behind, what did that mean?

"You did something to them." The words left your mouth the exact moment the thought entered your brain.

From the way Emm's expressions shifted, you knew you were right.

You needed to get out of here.

Without hesitating, you ran for the door, legs fast and anxious thoughts even faster. It almost felt like you could hear your heart beating in your ears.

You managed to grab the door knob and open the door but, before you could slip out, someone slammed the door in front of you.

You cursed just as someone's arms wrapped around your torso.

You heard Casimir click his tongue and you looked up to see him shaking his head at you, his palm pressed against the door "Naughty, naughty. We can't have you doing that, now can we?"

Emm, on the other hand, sounded less haughty and more desperate "Please, please, darl', you gotta understand--"

"Oh, I understand alright!" You started struggling earnestly, kicking your feet and trying your best to pry Emm's arms away from you "I understand that this was a mistake!"

Emm's arms only seemed to tighten around you even more "Don' say that."

You wanted to spite her so you said it louder "This was a mistake!"

Casimir grabbed your face before you could say anything further, his fingers digging into your cheeks as he turned you to face him "You have a mouth on you, don't you, my love?"

Then, he glanced at Emm, knowing expression on his face "Perhaps we should teach our darling a little lesson, hmm?"

"You so do love teaching lessons, don't you, my wife?"

Emm didn't even answer; she just flipped you over, carrying you over her shoulder like a sack of potatoes, like you didn't even weigh a single ounce.

It had been sexy last night and you'd be lying to yourself if you said it wasn't sexy now but, instead of your heart fluttering, you felt like your stomach was tying itself in knots.

"Let me go!" You beat on Emm's back, kicking your legs in an attempt to maybe hit the side of her face. She held on fast, her grip on you not even faltering for a second.

"You'll like this, my love, I'm sure of it." Casimir followed the two of you, a certain skip in his step "I certainly do."

Just as he said that, Emm walked into a doorway and you frantically looked around, confused where the three of you were headed.

You tried to think. You were able to see out the door just as Casimir closed it and you guessed that this was the door under the stairs. Wasn't that a closet? Apparently not.

Your nose suddenly stung with the smell of chemical cleaner--bleach?--and the lights seemed dimmer than outside. Casimir saw your frantic glancing and simply threw you a smirk.

Before you could open your mouth to ask where you were, you were slammed onto something cold and hard. You could feel the icy surface even through your clothes.

You sat up in an attempt to get away. Just as you did, you managed to catch a glimpse of what was right next to you.

Your brain fizzled and your throat seized. You were caught between a gag and a dry heave. Immediately, you stopped struggling. Hell, not just you. It felt like the entire world stopped.

Your mind seemed to only swim with thought after thought, none of them lingering long enough for you to really dwell on it.

"Cas, I tol' ya' to clean up after y'rself." Emm grabbed your wrists and you couldn't find it in yourself to snatch them back.

Casimir simply shrugged and went somewhere else. Emm was so close to you, locking your wrists into something soft and furry, that you couldn't track where he went.

"Lay down, darl'." She placed her hand on your chest and pushed you down. You followed, eyes still glued on the still figure next to you.

It was Bran. You knew it was him but you weren't sure.

His face was gored beyond recognition. Blood caked around his mouth and his eyes had been carved out. Very clumsily, you mentally noted. As if that mattered. There was so much viscera and splatters everywhere.

Was this what they had planned for you?

You started to struggle again as Emm started buckling your legs down. The straps didn't hurt your wrists at all, unlike how they formed red bleeding welts on Bran's wrists.

"Please, I don't-- I uhm-- oh god--" Tears sprang to your eyes as you tried to kick your legs "I'm sorry-- I'm sorry-- please, don't--"

Despite your fussing, Emm finished buckling you in. "Shhh, don' worry, we won't do nothin' to you that you won't like, hmmm?"

You heard the sound of a cloth or something being waved and then spread out next to you.

You glanced over and Bran had been covered with some medical blanket of some sort. You couldn't help but recognize it from the various medical dramas you've watched. It was what they put over dead bodies.

The gravity of the situation seemed to weigh more and more heavily over you.

The two people you'd fucked only last night, the two people you'd thought you could've had a future with, were going to murder you.

As soon as Casimir finished laying out the cloth over Bran's dead body, he came over to you, scissors in hand. They were odd scissors that looked bent but on purpose. Without saying much else, he started scissoring through your clothes.

"Cas." You whimpered, fear still wracking your body as you tugged and pulled at your restraints.

Casimir didn't even try to look sympathetic. In fact, he looked like he was enjoying the situation a bit too much.

He pressed a kiss against your temple as he pulled the scraps of your clothes off of your now naked body "Why don't you listen to Emm, huh? We won't do anything that'll hurt our little darling."

Just as Casimir mentioned Emm, your eyes darted to her, frantic to find some sort of sympathy or even some weakness you could take advantage of.

Instead, you were met with the image of Emm, her shirt suddenly gone but that lacy bra you'd seen before still on. She was tightening something around her waist, rather sober expression on her face.

You glanced lower down and your entire face flushed searing hot.

She was tightening a harness on and hanging from it was the most intimidating plastic cock you'd ever seen.

Casimir followed your gaze and snickered, breath brushing against your ear "You know, I only get that when I've been especially bad."

The unprompted insight into the couple's sex life only made you even more flustered. Casimir laughed rather meanly at that too before straightening, his job of getting rid of your clothes completely done.

"When did we get these anyway?" Casimir's fingers ghosted over the inside of your arm before nudging against the cuffs that wrapped around your wrists.

"I made 'em myself." Emm got on top of the medical table in one smooth motion, "Didn' wanna hurt our darling's wrists."

Casimir snuck a finger underneath, wiggling it around "Huh, fur-lined and everything. She already loves you more than me."

"Can't say I feel any differently but it still stings." He added jokingly, pressing another kiss against your temple, hand wrapping around your wrist while the other cupped your chin and made you look at him "See? We'll take perfect care if you here."

You honestly didn't know what to say to that. Though it did make your heart flutter, you knew how fucked up your situation was. These two killed your friends.

And you were especially aware of how fucked up it was that you were really turned on.

Emm took your silence for acceptance. At least, that's how it seemed from how the corners of her lips tilted up into a small smile. Though your legs were cuffed, she pulled your thighs up and wrapped them around her waist.

As she did, her plastic cock thumped against your torso, the tip practically reaching your belly button. And it was thick too, heavy against your skin.

Before you could protest or at least beg for mercy, Casimir pressed his lips against yours, bringing your attention back to him.

The kiss was messy, searing, with his tongue slipping in and pressing against yours, his teeth clashing against your lips.

It made your eyes flutter close as you returned the kiss. You fell into it easily, like it was natural to kiss him like that, like there was nothing else that would feel good.

Then, just as suddenly as the kiss started, you felt something wet and cold dribble against your entrance. Your legs jerked, trying to get away from the sensation.

You couldn't get away, though. You were trapped; not just between the couple but also in the cuffs they'd put you in. All you could do was lay there and take whatever they gave you.

Just like last night but even worse.

And give it to you they did. Emm slicked her fingers up and pushed two of them in at once. Her fingers were already pretty thick so having two of them, scissoring inside of you, pressing against your walls, felt like too much.

Your hips jerked and your brain swam. You didn't know whether you were pulling away from her or pushing your hips down to take more of her fingers.

Casimir, on the other hand, kept kissing you, his breath ragged and his grip on your wrist tightening more and more. His free hand traveled to your neck, wrapping around but not choking you.

You didn't know what it was but the gentle caress of it, firm but not too firm, his fingers pressing against the skin above your beating veins, made your heart flutter even more.

"Gonna prep you up to take me, baby." Emm muttered as she pushed in another finger, her hips rutting and the rubber of her cock rubbing against your skin.

"Gonna show you exactly how we'll be taking care of ya' fr'm now on."

[monarchofthequeerpotatoes]

out of context @beanthebugboi quotes because they're very funny

(other friends we have for context are d (she/her) sd (they/it/he/she) and s (she/her))

(quotes that aren't signed were bean because this post was supposed to be about them before i started copy and pasting an entire document full of quotes. i dont take credit for any of this apart from stuff i said i just think its funny)

"i was going for "rotisserie chicken" and ended up closer to "roadkill""

"hell yeah i have a rice krispie spine"

"would you recognise my hands if they weren't full of bird?"

“I just found out that vegetables don’t exist, reality is crumbling, YOU EXPECT ME TO BE POSITIVE??” “Bean, Bean, Bean, Bear Grylls should have taught you by now, the three rules to survival are: positivity, positivity, positivity. How else will we survive in this crumbling, vegetable-less universe?”- @sarkylittlemonster

“….y’know I was just doing an impression of Hooty singing Wii music when….”

“For the last time, it is NOT cannibalism”

“AWWWW I love thatttttt it is absolutely perfect” “Ah yes beqn >:]” -D “I am going to hold your imaginary pet peacocks hostage”

“I saw it in your bass music” (in a dream that @forest-fairy-wren had)

“Do you have a lot in common with a pine cone?”

“GHOSTBUSTERS” "THOSE BUSTARDS” - @sarkylittlemonster

“Yay for not getting stabbed”

“How dare you insult my deep-fried root vegetables” “HA, vegetables don’t exist, and neither does taste, it appears” - @sarkylittlemonster “IT IS TOO DAMN EARLY FOR THIS” “IT’S TOO DAMN EARLY FOR ONION RINGS BUT THAT DIDN’T STOP YOU DID IT” - @sarkylittlemonster

“I’m so honoured I just choked on my own spit”

“Oh you play violin, that’s so cool!”- @sarkylittlemonster “*Screams in violist*”

“Good morning, fbi's most and least wanted! How are we all today? :D” - @forest-fairy-wren “…I need to know who’s who lol. Am I most wanted or least wanted” “You're probably right in the middle :D” - @forest-fairy-wren

“Why the heck are you talking like that :)” “Whatever do you mean? I have always talked in this manner” - @forest-fairy-wren “THOU MUST NOT ASKETH QUESTIONS CONCERNING OUR WAY OF SPEAK.” - s “…Alright I shall not asketh.”

“Please close your balls of sight and rest.” - @forest-fairy-wren “D o   n o t   c a l l   e y e s   t h a t   e v e r   a g a i n” “Very well I shall call them seeing orbs instead.” - @forest-fairy-wren “Yeah that works”

“I- she’s so pretty. So flippin majestic. *gay screaming*”

“I have no idea what conversation i just walked into but it seems interesting :)” “Whale reproductive organ size debate” - S

“Sleep is cool, Bean! It's like a free trial of death :D” - @forest-fairy-wren “Mhm really selling it there lol”

“OMFG GUYS I was listening to Will Wood (as one does, when one is trying to get through a stupid math project) and just as 6up 5oh Cop-Out started, an ambulance passed, and the siren went perfectly with the music nsafjhdsklfhdakshfg I literally had to pause the music because I was like “wait why does the siren bit sound different”

“Oh I’m sorry let me just-” *becomes ilikemenderman*

“...so his tongue is a breadstick revolver?”

“Hi, I’m back, also what the fuck”

“Is that the same as t4t but with cannibalism?”

“You’re averaging 120 children per wife lmao” “Who are you to judge, cannibal”- @sarkylittlemonster “If they were sour, you'd probably eat them :(“ - @forest-fairy-wren

“Witchcraft is talking* to my sage plant so it’ll be better at getting rid of bad vibes)” “*nicely, not the way Crowley does” “Well, you’ll never become Crowly at this rate, BUCK UP AND THREATEN THEM” - @sarkylittlemonster “Witch duties take precedence over gender envy rn. I refuse to put any negativity in my sage plant 😤”

“Wedding?”-S “For the last time S I am NOT marrying Ronaldo” “I- lol, what?” -D “Yesterday, when Uni and Wren decided to have a double wedding with Vox and Akira, S decided to make it a triple wedding and tried to marry me off to Christiano Ronaldo. I hissed at her, passive-aggressively played a country song about a girl and her bestie murdering her husband, and then ran away to live in the woods and become Squirrel Girl”

“……so I have to marry a football guy, an evil capitalist TV screen, and someone’s cat-eared OC???” “Sounds like a Tuesday”-me

“Is Ronaldo in hell?” “I’m the one who sent him there” -S

“...are you a writer or a serial killer” “I am a professional multitasker” -S

“Guys I was NOT DROWNING ANYONE”

“Star why are you lobotomizing pencils”

“Rt54re4” (his cat)

“I have literally zero flirting skills, I cry when I get mad, and sometimes I sit on the kitchen floor in the middle of the night eating sliced cheese out of the packet. I am the opposite of simp-able”

“Fear not sib, for I am thick-skulled. Also I think it's currently Uni's turn with The Sanity so dw I didn't damage it.”

“Y'all I think I resurrected a fish yesterday. Also there are sooo many Hamilton songs stuck in my head rn (again), and I really really really want some chocolate rocks.”

“*scurries away with a slightly larger number of bones than the average human*”

“I just want to point out thstI sond a my bones, they wrre not stolen :D” - @forest-fairy-wren “I think Weeb is having a stronk”

“…I may or may not have just consumed a dead gnat.”

“I'm dysphoric AND disabled, Body is my comfort song”

“nOPE no no fuck no I will kick you in the kidneys” -Bean “Not my crunchy kidneys :(“ - @sarkylittlemonster “What.” - @forest-fairy-wren 

“Anyway, gonna go stick the lil fella in the microwave, brb :D”

“Every uterus should come with a free lavender-scented microwavable plushie”

“The goop is indeed goopy”

[fisherpiers]

Hunter coming out to Luz as bi

OKAY here i am like over 6 months later LMAO

like whattt? im not dead?? i know, i know. my deepest apologies

i have already written him coming out in flapjacks with syrup so if you want more go read that too not to self promote agskgjjghh (i will be updating that soon just saying 👀)

but here’s some headcanons!

lemme see, theres so many ways for this to go. lets entertain just a couple tho lol

scenario #1

its july and luz is getting/making pride merch for everyone bc shes trying to make it a thing on the isles. at least a little holiday. perhaps a parade? itll be fun!

and she realizes she has no clue what hunters deal is. is he straight? aroace, maybe. that guy is married to his work.

shes trying to keep this pride thing a surprise so she asks him nonchalantly like “hey broooo i was just wondering. whats your sexuality. a friend wanted to know.”

and he bluescreens

“uh. i— i dont know, actually.”

he never really thought about it. hes always been too busy being attracted to them books lmao

he has to get back to her in two business days at least 😂😂😂

he basically spends those days spacing out and scaring his classmates by intensely staring at them.

hunter discovers that he generally feels the same about any gender. and he didnt really have a preference when imagining his future having a wife, husband, or partner. as long as they made him happy

and everyone was really pretty. hexside had quite a lot of cute witches and demons

but honestly, he still didn’t really find himself wanting to start a relationship with any of them (gee wonder why)

he chalks it up to the fact that he’s focusing on his studies and apprenticeship right now and has no time for romance

besides, if he had a partner, he’d have even less time to spend with luz his friends

he finds luz up in a tree behind the owl house, nose in a book. shes so focused on the story that she doesn’t even hear him approach

“LUZ!”

“WHA—“

she was so startled she fell put of the tree. hunter tried to catch her he really did but they both wound up crashing down to the ground in a heap

oof

luz shoved him off her, laughing “first you give me a heart attack and now you try to crush me? i thought we were friends now, hunter!”

“sorry, sorry,” he wheezed as he rolled over in the soft grass

luz went and retrieved her book from where she accidentally threw it, “so what did you need me for?”

“oh, i just wanted to tell you i think i figured out my sexuality now, like you asked,”

“thats okay. i didnt mean to presure you so you dont have t—”

he sat up, “im bisexual,”

liz gasped “OH SWEET, twinsies!”

she got matching bandanas for them. cowboy vibes lol

luz did successfully get the annual pride parade set up in the isles. hard to say no to her shes a force of nature and also kinda a celebrity now ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

scenario #2

luz has just assumed he’s gay

bc they often talk about guys they think are cute. like if theyre at the mall food court (without the hexsquad) and see any hot guys they are thoroughly checking them out and giggling like school girls

its not something she can do with amity (obviously), vee or willow. plus, she trusts that hunter isnt about to go squealing to her girlfriend about her attraction to men she has no plans on pursuing

its a good bonding activity, okay. if you cant thirst over cute guys with your bestie are they really your bestie

alas, because of this, luz never reads too much into the moments they have together. hunter let a hug linger a little too long? he lets her eat off his fork? puts his arm around her on the couch? just friendly behavior. its not like he likes her or anything. bc hes gay right

anyway. theyre like, at a chinese restaurant picking up takeout for the gang and the cashier is just adorable. miss teen connecticut. the cutest girl ever. they both stutter their words and awkwardly fumble around while picking up this order. hunter almost dropped the food and luz signed her name as Liz Noda on the receipt

they get out of there and start laughing once they reach the car

“guess its bi disaster hour am i right?” hunter joked

luz laughed but then it hit her

“wait. you like girls?”

hunter looked at her confused, “yeah?”

“oh…” she trails off,

and hunter starts the car and drives off, not even giving the conversation a second thought

meanwhile luz is dead silent in the passenger seat like

she be rethinking everything agsjfjjhh

OKAY SECRET 3RD SCENARIO!

tboy!luz au :3

okay so luz is scared bc he’s finally worked out his gender. he’s a guy.

its what pushes him to break up with amity. its amicable at least

and so as luz moves on with his life, and starts falling for hunter, he’s scared hunter wont like him now bc he’s trans

and once hunter finds out about that, he’s putting a stop to it fast. like:

“dude. im bi. i dont care if youre a boy or a girl. youre luz. and i like luz.”

and they live happily ever after the end agajdjjg

[nicoleanell]

I would love to hear your meta on the scene from Renfield with the priest and the vampire hunter, if you’d be willing to share!

SURE, THANK GOD YOU ASKED.

My thing with that scene is it was peak Give Renfield A Hug and also the most irredeemable thing he does in the movie short of destroying some kid's ant farm, and that instantly made me fall in love with him.

I like the fact they made Renfield an aggressively sympathetic character and at the same time not wholly innocent. Robert Montague Renfield is neither a good guy or a bad guy but he deserves to be okay. (Also he may come off way more "sane" as movie Renfields go but he's not a well person lol, and the fact he's in an all-gender support group for abuse survivors very rapidly becomes not so much A Joke as it is the Entire Point of the movie.)

In the flashbacks, it's totes played for comedy and riffing on the 1931 movie and there's a little bit of an "unreliable narrator" vibe to it when Renfield's like, it was good we had great times etc. :))) We don't really know how in control of himself he is or how much he's whitewashing. But then we get the church/vampire killer thing and there's like... the first seed of something more real going on. The movie tells us upfront that the last time Dracula was almost defeated he stopped it, willingly, and it wasn't normal vampire enthrallment stuff as much as a very human emotional choice.

There's some heavy-handed manipulation happening and it's *completely* non-supernatural. They'll lock you away. I'll protect you. I care about you. And Nic Hoult's big woobie eyes hold all the sadness and isolation and genuine hope/desire to be loved, and it's unhealthy attention but there's nothing better out there for him. 🥺 <- emoji rendition of Renfield and also me.

Oh and for good measure his "he really means it this time" internal monologue is 100% meant to sound like toxic/abusive boyfriend stuff he's echoing from the support group, which is A Joke in this movie until it's not anymore.

(Side note, I saw you mention this in another post - the mental institution headcanon is Valid. I would've liked for it to be explicitly in there somewhere but as far as I'm concerned nothing *contradicts* it and it's one of like 3 facts people associate with Spiders Georg over here. So I'll take that crumb that the threat of him getting locked up is just as likely to be in an asylum (again) as a jail. And yikes the legitimate fear of that being WORSE than the hell he's currently in.)

And the second he does the thing, some priest *completely proves Dracula right* by immediately throwing more guilt and blame on Renfield and being like YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR EVERYONE ELSE HE KILLS NOW. Which, fair! But also, dude, you're being the opposite of helpful here! Lmao fucking Catholics. He knows this! It's why he can't get out! Of course he chose Dracula and he did it on purpose and he did it because of trauma and it *cemented* him being trapped forever. This is the climax of an entire other movie in which Renfield is probably not the main character but would definitely end up my problematic fave anyway.

SO YEAH. Between that and the reveal he left a whole wife & kid, there's such an interesting theme of guilt/shame on top of self-esteem and learned helplessness issues I was not anticipating in this movie. It's important for him to get to a place of: "I want to blame this legitimately awful monster but I also did SOME of this to myself, and when I can accept that without immediately going into a fetal position, it gives him less power over me."

Does not remove his power completely! 'Cause Renfield 2023 is also not, like, saying that you can just Easily Decide To Leave Your Violent Abuser. But the affirmations about being enough and deserving better and seeking better in spite of having failed or fucked up before are important.

[spidermanifested]

💔💛🖤 for FMA because you're always correct somehow

💔: If you had to remove one major character from the series, who would you choose?

i cant just say roy mustang a fourth time im challenging myself to come up with a creative answer

honestly? and if you can believe it mostly unrelated to the third question down there. i think if you took out hughes, and had to reframe the military protagonists' motivations to make them less reliant on "we need to avenge this one guy we liked", youd have room to explore more of the actual bad things about the amestrian government. that might lead people to want to rebel. like at least the nina chapter provided insight into why the state alchemist program is inherently corrupt, all we learn from hughes dying is "Breaking News! One Weird Geometry Fact The Homunculi Dont Want You To Know About"

youd have to restructure the maria ross parts too but i figure you could work something out without too much trouble. blame her for lab 5 going down or something idk

💛: What is a popular ship you just can't get behind, and why?

takes a deep breath. This may come as a betrayal to almost all of my devils nest mutuals. it may break my streak of always being correct in the eyes of the masses. but i dont........really see what everyone else sees......... in greed/dolcetto.........

"wow big shocker from captain grido" i hear everyone saying but llet me explain myself. i can rationalize why somebody might like it. and its not even the ship itself i have beef with really. its more, the widespread fandom elevation of dolcetto as Greeds Loyalest Guy, with mainly vibes-based justifications (hes a dooooooog!!!!) instead of textual evidence, that tends to accompany it? which to be fair exists outside of a shipping context as well. like on tv tropes for example

[CITATION NEEDED]

so. My bido loving soul naturally despairs. also the fact that it seems to have achieved almost default status in the fandom spheres im most interested in, so when you go looking for nest related stuff it crops up before long and you know how it goes with overexposure

my final reason is that i do love dolcetto as a character. That guy rules. which means it does me psychic damage to see his personality replaced with that of a shy blushing puppyboy, as he so often is in the ancient fanart i find combing the google search results,

🖤: Which character is not as morally good as everyone else seems to think?

As Per My Last Email: hughes lol

like i know in series hes meant to be a heroic figure but thats kind of my problem. hes just your average nuclear family loving gun toting red blooded american i mean amestrian, who joined the army to defend his definitely-under-attack right to have said nuclear family, and then started dating a girl while he was on the front lines and then used her as an internal justification to keep committing genocide, and then when he has a kid he threatens her (3 YEAR OLD) friends with a gun, and one of his Bonding Moments with winry is giving her a lecture on gender roles because dont you know men never talk about their feelings, and do you see why i thinkmaybe tje fact that he buys his daughter a lot of toys and waves around pictures of his family doesnt inherently make him the best dad on earth. like its really easy to be a good dad when your kid is a toddler and your wife does all the hard work taking care of her and all you have to do is bring home the paycheck. wild beasts are xoming to attack me once hit post on this one i think

[blade-that-was-broken]

What if JD and Delta are like platonically married tho. For tax purposes and also so JD could get country troll citizenship and also cause Delta is better at negotiating the rights to all the top quality million dollar songs he writes for other people that JD was previously using as bartending material to get like a sandwich or a cool rock.

They’re best friends but legally and platonically married

Have you ever watched Elementary?

It’s a Sherlock Holmes adaptation that I actually really love. Sherlock is a literal definition of loveable asshole in this and although I don't usually like gender-swapping, Watson is a woman. It just works out really well. They don't get married or anything and there is zero romantic inclination between the two of them but they live in the same house and even in the end, they end up living in the same house. Like platonic life partners. They are super close and it's a whole thing.

Now the characters/relationship dynamics are not nearly the same with JD and Delta, but it kinda gives me that vibe. Coupling with my own head canon that a large portion of trolls are fulfilled with platonic relationships and bonds and have no need for romantic ones. Not all of them, of course, but some (kinda Jedi-esque almost? except with the Jedi it's more of a spirtual and platonic thing but that's a whole other essay)

Anyway, personally marriage is kind of sacred to me so it's slightly weird but the thought of JD and Delta getting legally married for tax purposes is kind of funny too. I think it would be more of Delta marrying him so he doesn't get thrown in jail or something. JD probably had no idea what taxes were and considering he has been living in the wild by himself, away from civilization for who knows how long, he'd definitely not be paying any.

That second part is even funnier! Can you imagine the bros reuniting and JD accidentally dropping how rich he technically is? But he plays it off like it doesn't matter because to him - it really doesn't. They could be talking about money and he'd just be like oh yeah, my wife takes care of that. Of course then he would have to explain THAT whole thing that Delta is his wife but also not his wife LOL

I think Delta would have to negotiate between money and actual items because lets face it, JD would still want the cool rock.

[hanzajesthanza]

replies on post: "speaking of angoulême and regis friendship..."

@dankomanuels @onlymagpie the floodgates have been opened 🧍

i've already talked a little bit on here about why i think they would get along, catalogued their short interactions across ttos and lotl, and even written a few for myself... (here's their tag and their "posts reminiscent of them" tag if you want to catch up on the vibes)

why i think they have a dynamic

they are very similar kinds of people, with similar struggles and desires. i see a kind of similar personality-story between regis-angouleme and milva-cahir, which is why i see those two relatuonships as the kind of "i Understand you 👁️" of the hanza, and then milva-regis and cahir-angouleme are the "absolute polar opposites" relationships, and then when you divide it by gender you get some dissonance, but uh... learning opportunities lol

everyone gets off to a terrible start with angouleme, including regis, because she not only came from the group that was Going To Make An Attempt on All Of Their Lives, but she intentionally provokes the company to get reactions. however, out of them all, regis seemed quick to reconsider his first impressions and, canonically, became amused by her and found some inspiration in her human charm, i think... related to the breakfast table argument between fringilla and regis :)

angouleme only seems to give a shit about regis' opinion in beauclair as it's a joint opinion between him and geralt ('my two gay dads' much?) but i always love to repeat to myself the line "one does not preclude the other. believe me, angouleme," the vampire said gravely... which i find nice because no one ever takes angouleme seriously, and here regis took her seriously, about something that wasn't even serious and was actually interrupting their discreet conversation! even geralt was like please leave us alone. and regis was like ok Truth. you're right. and this is a pretty deep topic too.

i like how regis seems to see angouleme as having valuable contributions even when no one else does... i think the human-ness that is instinctual to everyone else makes them find angouleme base, but regis is so curious about her because for him he can learn from her example... i explored this most in my katabasis fic.

there's less backing for angouleme to care about regis, so i fill in her character with some projection of my own insecurities that i feel like are characteristic of young adults, or those transitioning into young adulthood without... well...

angouleme when we first grab her out of fulko artevelde's jail comes from such a horrible environment, and i dont mean this out of disrespect, "how did you come to be among criminals, tfu" , but that she was in a foul company, and nightingale didn't respect her and was "known to reduce women to their primal use/purpose" (if i remembered how that line goes...) and it's apparent in the attitudes angoulme carries over, when she says that milva shouldn't come with her and geralt because they won't respect company of three when two of them are women. compare to geralt's company, in which i don't think that anyone would ever doubt that milva would be respected... lol. like tell this bullshit to cloggy and his fucking wooden board wife? anyways

i feel like angouleme would hold regis in some contempt at first, or more just like distrust and dislike because he gives the impression of a haughty intellectual who's never suffered real suffering and just likes to say idiotic platitudes (well the latter is a little correct...) kind of like what ciri accuses vysogota of in chapter 10 of ttos.

regis also didn't help this impression by referring to her with that "i'm not your uncle dear child" ... though he was trying to draw a line between them, like "i'm not your dude"... but that drogie dziecko will live in my mind eternally btw :D

angouleme after an opportunity to learn regis would come to like and trust him, but she just needs to be shown that he's trustworthy, proven to that they are similar, that he understands. i feel like a huge part of being a teen/young adult is feeling like no one understands your pain and no one's ever gone through what you've gone through.

angouleme seems particularly defensive and insecure about her low birth, her background as a criminal, and her addiction to use of fisstech, which it seems (from her vehement pre-defense of) that she has been severely judged and shamed for this by others, or maybe just by general societal attitudes.

by incorrectly gauging regis initially, i set up an amusing thought here where, near the beginning of their story together, they have some moment where angouleme turns her nose up and remarks that regis has no business in her business because he doesn't know what it's like to wake up in the gutter hungover on cheap wine

and he's like........... i'd write like "the vampire's expression was inscrutable." meaning: he was trying not to laugh

tropes and stuff

on this note, i'll take this opportunity to talk about an aspect broader than just their dynamic and interactions, something i haven't spoken as much about on here.

i see them as a kind of played-straight, kind of subversion of a favorite trope of mine: the divine ally.

at least that's what i've been calling it, i don't know its actual name... divine advisor? guardian angel? fairy godmother? (that is actually relevant, for what i may talk about later)

this trope that is unfortunately less frequently seen in contemporary works, from what i can tell... (ugh, tv tropes even says: "This is also a highly Discredited Trope these days, usually associated with the most archaic parts of Fairy Tales, A Discredited Trope is a trope that has aged so poorly that it's rarely if ever played straight anymore.")

i think it still might be used somewhat, in the more general magical mentor trope (like come on. gandalf is right there), but from what i can tell of current trends, especially in YA and chick lit, when the dynamic is between a supernatural older man and a younger mortal woman... yeeeeah, :| , so what i'm interested in just doesn't follow the trend i guess, lol. hence why i hesitate to talk about them. but i will also talk about my reaction to this a bit further down.

for me, this trope is like when a hero is on their quest, and over their shoulder, has a distant guardian with supernatural powers watching them to see how they do, and possibly to bail them out when they need them to come to their side! maybe it's just because i was a percy jackson kid... and classical studies minor in college... but it's a trope that's always been so fulfilling and satisfying to me, pleasant to my heart when a god or an angel appears to help the hero when they're at their most desperate. it's so fictional for me, i think, i love it for its escapism... i think a lot of people can probably relate to being beaten down, desperate, even though you're an atheist you're praying in the dark for an angel's intervention, but nothing comes to save you. yeah.

anyhow, i like them for how they might invert this trope. a guardian angel, a fairy godmother, is usually something distant, ethereal, existing only in the mind, not human. they typically only show up in great times of need, and disappear at other times.

regis kind of does the opposite, as he does in the books... he shows up to geralt when he wants to be rid of him and his advice. he is like your conscience and you cannot get rid of him!

moreover, despite his supernatural powers (which i most often envision as flying, psychic abilities, and immaterial form like not casting a shadow, not feeling temperature, and (headcanoned) ability to glide on water or snow) do not make him a divine character in the classic sense of a god or spirit. he is kind of just a regular person, who likes to play advisor and confidant, can do some cool things, but is not godly by any means. this imperfection, this fallibility, this humanness, is what draws me to him. because especially through angouleme's eyes... okay, i'll get back to this thread eventually, (maybe in another post bc this is kind of the crux of 'book 2' of my fic).

let me get back to first, the other side of the trope: the hero. the hero is often pure, like cinderella or the virgin mary, or virtuous in other senses (odysseus is not a very "pure" character by far, pretty much the opposite LOL, but he is very clever, and that cunning is his excellence, what makes him outstanding). in other words, the hero is someone that the audience feels somehow deserves the divine, the ghostly, the godly throwing them a bone and helping them out.

angouleme is... at least, at the beginning of this arc, not a hero. actually the opposite, she's a bandit that was for all intents and purposes going to be part of geralt's assassination, but didn't get caught on the wrong side of history due to some freak accident (which was the author's pen). initially, she was intended to fade into the background, but sapkowski, like with dijkstra and boreas mun, said that they were characters who "stuck to his pen" and so they were elevated in pagetime. but even so, angouleme unlike ciri is not a princess, not a chosen one, she's not even anyone's daughter. she's a bastard, disowned and often forgotten and left behind (both in-universe, and by the fandom, i believe it's her curse and identity to be an insignificant accessory, a footnote).

so i think it would be so powerful if angouleme, who is used to everyone in her life disappearing on her, forgetting her—and regis, who is used to disappearing (both literally and figuratively, which is why i think it's fitting)—if when she needed him, he wouldn't disappear ... and then, maybe, if he would (for a negative arc, failed state, tragic take... i'll continue this also later).

either way, positive or negative, together these characters could have a really satisfying arc or two set during their time in beauclair.

which i've kind of mapped out.

fic storyline (book 1)

this continues to be a kind of really disorganized infodump so bear with me :) this is extremely unfiltered and unedited! (also haha "spoilers," but who cares though, because by the time i even start writing it you'll have forgotten what i said here. all i ask when sharing fic ideas on here is that no one write them before i do, pretty please)

so i'll now introduce my fic idea (not an actual book, but i just mean it like a volume or installment, since idk how to tell how long this story would be when i write it out). this first book is a lighthearted and comedic story set on saovine.

this idea centers on something loosely inspired by cinderella—a girl wants to go to a ball, but she's ridiculed owing to her low status and chased from her dream. but then, when all seems lost, the ghost of her deceased mother provides her with the most beautiful gifts to attend, and embrace an alter ego of herself, an elegant version no one knew existed, not even herself...

some motifs that regis and angouleme share are parties and revelry (oof), having separate identities (double oof), and being excluded from social engagement, when that's what they desperately crave (triple oof). i mentioned how i see them as very similar, how they are kindred spirits, how regis sees a lot of similarity in angouleme to his younger self, and how angouleme sees (though she's hesitant to trust it) an example of a better future in regis.

that, to me, is a sufficient motivation (initially) for him to help her in achieving her goals. especially because it involves parties and fun (i imagine regis and angouleme, sitting in the dark at the kitchen table, angouleme explaining her predicament, that it has to do with a ball, a big party. and then regis, smiling with fangs in darkness: "i like parties." haha)

and thus they have an opportunity to share the struggle of social pressure, empathize with someone who truly understands them, and then get to that damn party. and angouleme slowly begins to trust, open her heart a little, imagine that someone else could understand her dreams and have her best interests at heart...

also consider how angouleme's mother abandoned her and left a mother-sized hole in her heart. sometimes it's not who you would pray to that shows up.

another trope that i think would be really fun with these two, which i alluded to earlier, is the very common and ancient trope of the malevolent and predatory vampire specifically finding his prey in young women. regis already fucks up this trope into ten million tiny pieces in the series, his role is constantly to be the deliverance of women and girls (the girl from the camp accused of witchery, milva during her miscarriage, ciri about to be strapped to the steel chair). and i'm like, hey! i have in mind a blondie waif who's also in need of this protection.

but also especially because of the relationship between dracula and mina (in. dracula), how he attempts to make her into a vampire and she slips further into this... dracula exerts his malevolent power over her, and she withers, but also, is inextricably now linked to him via a psychic bond...

i kind of talked about how i have anxiety over people seeing them wrong, but i've also incorporated and played with this anxiety in the actual imagined story itself; how they influence each other and in that, it's misread by others as some decidedly dark influence, because as angouleme transitions to, becomes able to embody her ideal persona, a girl who will be loved instead of forgotten, she's now seen by the other characters as a girl to be saved, which invites unwanted attention, this attention being what is actually the exertion of force upon her autonomy.

what i imagine for the fic is a four-act structure. following the failures of angouleme in act 1, in act 2 through some... explosive circumstances that get out of hand, angouleme doesn't exactly fly under the radar in this merriment as she and regis kind of kick up a dust storm of trouble getting her a dress and horse-drawn carriage. there's no bippity-boppity-boo nothing here, so they use freely the strategies which bandits and vampires use.

(or instead of carriage, should i say, calèche, because i'd like another dracula reference here. by the way, just as regis has peak bartender energy, he also has peak uber driver energy. the kind where you get in, have the deepest conversation of your life, then get out. and rate 5 stars and give $5 tip. and never see that guy again).

so in act 3, when she finally gets to the ball and has her little #girlboss spotlight beloved moment where she's charismatically trying to get nobles to invest in her ponzi schemes (this is her character motivation all along... she wants a stable future ok so she is relying on inventing a new personality and scamming everyone into liking her), there's...

okay, i kind of didn't introduce the mild antagonists, but so basically, there's this club of beauclairoise noblemen who needed a hobby, so they became interested in paranormal collections and oddities... and since geralt was away, when the "hey i think a vampire just stole our horses" reports reached beauclair, these were the guys that were called. well, who you gonna call, i guess? maybe think of the witch hunter from good omens and his protege, but less aggressive and more clueless but arrogant all the same. they're comprised of three older gentlemen and one mmm... jarre-equivalent type of guy, young, around angouleme's age. i call these guys vampire hunters despite them having no experience hunting vampires

by the way also, in this introduction of them, i've brought this up slightly before, but regis' noble persona in beauclair (as they all had to assume fake identities, pretended to be nobility travelling incognito, remember)... ok he himself didn't actually come up with any script (with his experience he wanted to wing it this time) but his mysterious nature and constantly talking about the supernatural and his habits of dress, make rumors circulate that he is a vampire............ hunter. a vampire hunter. or at least, a retired one. and that's why he's in the company of the witcher geralt!

(beauclair nobility voice) "i fucking connected the dots" "you didn't connect shit" "i connected them". so the vampire hunters are like omg hi regis whats up you want to join our exclusive club of cool guys? and he's like um... ok lol. well. i'll participate in this conversation because it's funny lol. but i got my own things going on

anyways that's act 1 stuff. back to act 2. this 'crazy vampire shit has consequences' plotline is brewing underneath regis and angouleme doing said crazy vampire shit. switching POVs appropriately.

in act 3, angouleme, via making some awkward blunders (she got a little tipsy) gives them the "evidence" they need to scream "vampire" - except, they scream it in the wrong direction - at her.

cue the flight from the ball (of the cinderella story) and getting lost in the woods. after some moments spent lamenting, in fear, in regret, the two meet up and have the emotional resolution, heart-to-heart, about desperation to be someone else, fit in, be who people will love...

that kind of doesn't solve that guys are chasing them with stakes though. sooo there's a bit of an indulgent moment, for me maybe, here. regis is like: sooo, they want to fight a vampire... :D ok

angouleme is like "you're going to KILL THEM 😳☹️??? ... nice im watching this shit go down 🥺🍿." regis is like 😑 noooo...

they just scare them a little ;). it is saovine after all, and they are in the middle of some spooky, dark woods. as angouleme got her scene in act 3 charming the nobility, regis also gets a moment of excellence here.

i've played around with another joke here where the boy (blonde, grey eyes, big nose, skinny, freckles, hopeful and dreamy, but shy and anxious... i've been calling him jacek ig but i'm not set on a name yet) is the last to not get psychic-blasted or tormented by shadows or turned over on his feet out of being scared by voices in the dark ... idk what regis is doing to these guys lol...

jacek runs into angouleme and grabs her and is like "No No it's ok i'll save you i'll help you 🥺" and angouleme (to regis over his shoulder) is like 😬 making 'axe this guy' motions or eyes to him, but before regis smacks him into the fourth dimension or whatever, amidst his promises he's like "and we'll marry and you can share my fortune" and angouleme suddenly like waves her hands like 'no don't get him', mouthing exaggeratedly and pointing 'he has money' LOL idk. giving angouleme a love interest when she's not interested in love is funny. he's gone by the next installment anyways (engagement didn't work out)

so she allows him to try and 'save her from this infernal curse' and takes her (in the company of the other vampire hunters) back to beauclair, along the way they ponder over how clueless they are about this whole thing and how they don't actually know how to cure her (she's been sitting this entire ride with a garlic bulb in her mouth and her arms crossed, with jacek making big eyes at her but too scared to get close, holding a wooden stake between them lol). as they're approaching the foot of the city they realize oh shit there's an an entire guy we forgot about that knows so much about this

so they knock on regis' door and are like hey can you help us cure this girl of some Evil Vampire Affliction.. and regis and angouleme just look at each other like 😑😑 lol... anyways he kind of bats a laurel branch on her shoulders and flicks some holy water on her forehead and is like "all clear" and jacek is like yayyyy 🥺 and regis is like (gus from breaking bad smile drop meme) "but she might turn back if you get too close without brushing your teeth first ..." and angouleme (over shoulder) is like 😅👍👍 thx regis lol

so, all's well that ends well. friendship achieved, survived, fun and laughter was had and nobody died.

mmm, now onto 'book 2'... which is more of a tragedy. but i'll leave the story where it is for now :D maybe i'll continue in another post?

[my-castles-crumbling]

Hi. Um. So I'm really nervous about this whole “sending people a vent anonymously” thing, but I've seen ppl so do this so so so much and I've written once to you before so I think this might be an okay place for me to kind of just live in. For a bit.

Okay, so I've always known that since forever, I'm open to dating anybody, no matter what's in their pants or what ever gender they identify as. If I like them, I like them. That's that. I mean I have a preference for boys I think but girls and enbys and everything else are totally my vibe, as long as I like them enough.

One time I had a crush on a boy (We'll call him Aj for short). I think I fell in love with him, even though my crush on him ended up being found out. (Which, all in all, was absolutely devastating.) Aj was this beautiful, funny, kind, and overall amazing boy that I deeply cared about and he was my bestest friend. He'd pretend to be characters from series (particularly Attack on Titan characters) and it'd be entertaining since he was quite good at it. Eventually I told my gbf (A, for lack of better name) that I liked him. And I think she told a girl who we'll call Al (who, coincidentally, liked Aj too). I don't know if it was her. I also told this girl who I'm naming E since she asked. I trusted her despite not knowing her well. One of them told him and after that it got out to my whole grade. I hated it but got over him fairly quick.

I think it's happening again. And I mean like I think I'm falling in love again?? With a boy we'll call B. He's really sweet, funny, pretty, and honestly quite cool. We bicker all the time and our classmates call it “couple fighting” which is something that neither of us comment on. I like B a lot.

Except that the idea of being with anybody makes me sick. I can't even imagine it. I can't see myself in a future with anybody and I don't know why. But also. The idea of being alone forever makes me feel weird. Not good, at least. I mean I know for a fact I don't want to marry or have kids, something I'm committed to. But I don't get why all my friends can see themselves with kids and married and a husband/wife and I just CAN'T.

Yet I still like B?? I mean, when I like Aj I could see myself staying with him, being loyal and all. Not married or having kids but I could see myself with him.

I don't get why nobody else feels like this and it makes me feel like I'm just the odd one in the group and that, being the outsider, makes me feel terrible because I've always tried to fit in and be friendly. (something, I've been told, that I'm not good at. I have anger issues so that doesn't really affect me but now it's making me upset)

And I rlly don't want to bring this up.

Dunno what to do. I'm completely lost.

Also you're probably going to ask when I wrote to you before and honestly idk what I wrote or if you responded to my specific ask. It was really similar to “drained anons” first paragraph but I'm honestly unsure. Dunno if you got it or not. I remember saying something about being scared of my mom, on good terms with my siblings, my transgender issues (feeling like a boy mostly and a girl other times), and also my friend A’s (gbf, here) mom issues and wanting to help A. I never said anything about pills or sh from what I remember. So I don't think I'm drained anon. I did say that you don't have to respond tho

Okay I think I'm rambling sorry I'm done this was all I needed to say lol byeee <3

Hi!!

There's absolutely NOTHING wrong with wanting to be with someone, but not wanting to get married or have kids. I know plenty of people who feel this way.

I think when people are younger, they fantasize about marriage and having children because they might only think about the romanticized parts. But as you get older? Trust me, you will not be alone.

Also, I truly think, if you like B and B likes you, there's no reason why you shouldn't date. You're still in school, you don't have to talk about marriage and kids anytime soon. I would just talk about it if things get more serious.

But yeah- there's nothing wrong with your feelings, and you're definitely not alone.

I'm naming you commitment anon in case you write back.

[cadmusfly]

Who Is A Dragon In Marshalate Dragons AU Because Making All The Infantry Marshals Dragons Is Too Much Scales

Post 1

Post 2

Marshals

Dragons: Berthier, Lannes, Soult, Masséna, Lefebvre, Mortier, Oudinot, St Cyr

Humans: Bernadotte, Augereau, Brune, Moncey, Perignon, Serurier, MacDonald, Poniatowski, Jourdan, Murat, Ney, Davout, Kellerman, Suchet, Victor, Marmont, Grouchy

Not A Secret Dragon Totally: Bessieres

Non marshals

Dragons: Junot, Desiree Clary, Bernadotte’s minister Magnus Brahe oh my god, either Trobriand or Morand, either Wellington or Picton, maybe Desaix

Sea Serpents: Villeneuve, Cochrane (and babby Marryat), maybe Dadmiral Pellew

Definitely Human: Napoleon, Joséphine, most noble/royalty, Talleyrand lol, most of the wives of people I turned into dragons

Contemplating having Ida St Elme be a dragon shapeshifter because of that historical fantasy series based on her having her be a Special Magic Person and I’m not sure her relationship with Ney works if she’s scaly all the time

This is partially informed by a desire to have interesting characters as dragons but also wanting to keep some interesting characters as still human, the underlying metaphor of monstrous draconic avarice as linked to greed and plundering but also some humans should also just be like that, and also vibes and who would be funnier as a dragon

Anyone can write fic or be inspired or steal my ideas or write stuff based on anyone being a dragon idk I’m just addicted to worldbuilding I need to finish a few other projects before thinking about if I want to write a proper fic or drawing for this, might post snippets if they emerge into my mind though

I am open to suggestions and arguments as well

Under the cut is some thoughts inspired by @impetuous-impulse about arranged dragon marriages and in universe cultural stuff

The legend of St Martha taming the tarasque

is slightly different in this world - after the tarasque is tamed, it is not killed by the people with spears. The same is with St George and the Dragon, where the dragon is tamed and not killed as a demonstration of Christianity's might.

I'm not going to go as far as to say Jesus was a dragon, but from chatting to Impulse and thinking about it, and also that I turned a bunch of military nobility into dragons

In this world there's a cultural Thing around the idea of an ingenue* woman - or man sometimes - being known as a "dragon-wife", a representative and rider, tamer of the monstrous beast, offered to sate the dragon's greed

This overlaps with the idea of a dragon's "favoured person", a person they grow so close to that the dragon-stupour that they fall into when exhausted is lessened and shortened by the presence of that person, and also there might be something about a dragon being able to telepathically talk to them over larger distances, being able to share emotions and senses

People know that the dragon-wife/dragon-rider is not necessarily a dragon's bonded/favored person, but it's better if they are. It's a very political thing for dragons with high titles and high ranks, to be accompanied by a charming maiden.

But of course, these maidens often aren't allowed to have any power or prowess! Though some do carve it out, and some by virtue of having a giant reptilian beast on their side do end up in interesting and exciting places.

Think of it like a beauty and a beast thing.

*ingenue was attested in 1848, too late for the time period damn

also i would like to have more dragons who identify as ladies, dragons do not have physical sex in this setting but they do identify as gender - i doubt explicitly nonbinary dragons will be popping up for a while though and the focus of this is the land with the very gendered language so they just default to unfortunate il

[mermaidsirennikita]

One reason why I think Mila Finelli's mafia books do work for me better than most other (Italian--I did really love Kresley's series) mafia romance novels I've read is that the characters do feel DISTINCT and so do the relationship dynamics.

In a lot of these somewhat darker, more erotic reads, you do get the sense that any of the characters could be switched out for one another. The heroes are always the same types of alphas, the heroines are always the same types of a) virgins or b) defiant rebels who may also still be virgins, and what really sets the books apart are a few bananas scenes here and there, and some distinct sex scenes.

And while I definitely think there are distinct sexual dynamics and kinks at play with each couple (Fausto/Frankie are obviously daddy kink-central, Enzo and Gia are.... generalized freaks with some heavier BDSM by way of CNC vibes, Giulio and Alessio also have some D/s vibes but with a more competitive edge and are very into each other's violence, and Giacomo/Emma are obviously a breeding kink/softer touch vibe) they're also just super different people.

I guess the closest couples would be Fausto and Frankie and Enzo and Gia, but even then... Fausto is a dick, but he's more rational, more doting (see: daddy), and though Frankie is absolutely defiant and strong, I actually think that though she and Fausto have more of a traditional partnership in terms of gender than Enzo and Gia (which also could be because Frankie wants a billion kids and yes she has her MBA but she's very much a wife and mom first, whereas Gia is more about her career, which keeps them from being too similar). Enzo and Gia are more into the defined D/s shit sexually, but you get the sense that she has more control in the relationship and that, at the end of the day, he is very much... her bitch. Enzo and Gia have a very similar age gap to Fausto and Frankie, but Fausto and Frankie have more of a care-focused DD/lg relationship, whereas Enzo and Gia thrive on the friction of her giving as good as she gets.

And Alessio and Giulio, aside from the obvious of being the only queer relationship in the series, are very much coded as D/s as well... But not as inflexibly as the previous two couples. Aside from them switching it up in the bedroom a little, there's also a lot of space for Alessio to take care of Giulio. Like, Giulio kinda doesn't know shit about what he's doing lol, whereas Alessio is hypercompetent (which also makes sense, as Fausto for sure spoiled Giulio and Alessio has been in essentially a different class his entire life). So while Giulio is more sexually dominant, Alessio is really the stronger, steadier, and more threatening partner otherwise. And again, they both really get off on watching each other do what they do best, which is: crime.

I do think Giacomo and Emma have the softest relationship in the series--but it's not so much because she's this kind of babe in the woods virgin (and I will say, I did love that Frankie and Gia were NOT lol) but because Giacomo is just a much more tender guy. Like, yes, Fausto and Enzo both also had loved ones, but I think that because they'd both been running their shit longer than Giacomo had before he met Emma, they had these very set roles. Fausto and Enzo come off as more brutal, and honestly more crazy (like, Enzo is THE CRAZIEST for sure, but Fausto is a fucking nutball). Giacomo seems like a dude who's good at killing people and doing mafia stuff, but it's really like? His day job. It's not his life and it doesn't feel like his culture, even, which makes sense because he was on the fringes of the types of levels Fausto and Enzo have always been in, because his father and brother kept him separate from it. Even Giulio is more connected to that space than Giacomo, because he was groomed to take over for years.

I think it would be very easy to rely on these great sex scenes and wacky plots she writes, but the thing that does make it clear that Mila has the chops (.... and it also makes it clear that she's very experienced, lol, and someone who has had to write series with very individualized characters for professional editors in the past........) is that the characters are very DIFFERENT. Like, Frankie and Gia may both have their partners' balls in their pockets, but you see Frankie do a wheedling kind of little girl pouting thing to get her way with Fausto because she knows he looooves it, whereas Gia is like LISTEN UP ASSHOLE with Enzo (and it makes the relationship the best because nobody else can do that with him, Enzo and Gia are the greatest, thanks for coming to my Ted Talk). Giacomo is willing to let Emma go in a way that Fausto, Enzo, and honestly I would say Giulio too after working out some things, really aren't okay with. He's probably the best guy out of the series, on a moral level, while also being a scary murder man.

(Except for maybe Alessio? Because Alessio is also a scary murder man, but he literally just does it for the cash or to protect Giulio. It's PURE BUSINESS.)

I find the distinctiveness of the characters really cool, especially when I reread the books, and that is probably why I've had a hard time finding a series that really clicks for me in the same way within the sort of Italian mafia genre.

(That, and: so much of the other books center on Italian-American mafia stuff and that shit DOES NOT HAVE THE SAUCE the way Mila's Italy-set books do. Like, be real here, the Italian-American mafia has not been raking in this kind of cash for DECADES.)

[butch-reidentified]

I'm sorry if it came off as rude, I was agreeing with your reblog 😔 I'm aware that butch doesn't really mean masculine, as I said it's just a personal preference, and the butch/femme dichotomy always read as a bit weird to me because femme literally just means "woman".

To be fair, I only have the french context for this and those terms aren't nearly as popular here. But if you have good resources about the history of those terms I'd genuinely love to educate myself on it, it's quite fascinating.

Love your blog btw !

you did not come off rude don't worry!! just felt it was important to be said!!

i used to speak french very well but not so good anymore, but i do understand feeling weird about the term femme bc of it forsure. I would appreciate if we had a different term specifically for lesbians who are - and please interpret this abstractly bc the language for what I'm attempting to describe here simply does not exist in any language I speak - "feminine" in a way that (intentionally or otherwise) subverts conventional femininity and is not appealing to the traditional male gaze/behavioral preference. sort of like... unapologetic outspoken opinionated women, casual dresses and leg hair, floral prints and bushy eyebrows vibes, but not exactly? aspects of femininity but not total feminine performance, and most importantly with gnc behaviors like importantly including unlearning femsoc etc? women who have done the work to unlearn the femininity forced on us growing up and afterward found they genuinely like select "feminine" things in a nonperformative way? language has always felt wildly limiting to me but I'm hoping at least some will understand me on this. and really hoping nobody takes it too literally lol

the reason I (playfully) call my wife femme is she has done that work, has intensively introspected on her female socialization and spent significant time intentionally defying it to give herself perspective and a shot at engaging with traits typically seen as "feminine" from as much of a truly voluntary place as possible, and found she enjoys certain things that fall into that category. most of those things are invisible to people outside our relationship and closest friend circles, whereas if we're downtown she's not going to be viewed as feminine by strangers at all. I think that's a way more meaningful lesbian archetype than using "femme" (or any alternative term) to mean "gender conforming/totally feminine" or even, if we're honest, often used to refer to "straight-passing" lesbians, which my wife is not even close to being.

I personally feel that butch has a highly specific and unique crucial lesbian cultural context & history that would & should persist in a postgender world, that is much more about a specific lesbian "archetype" than relationship to gender & can exist without relationship to gender just fine. to me, butchness requires gender nonconformity in a patriarchal, gendered world, but that's only a prerequisite, not a defining characteristic of butchness itself. does that make sense? sometimes my communication style only makes sense to me n my wife lmfao (same w hers even tho its very diff from mine)

I agree about butch/femme. it's not - or at least shouldn't be seen as - a dichotomy. I don't prefer feminine women, I prefer gnc women for SURE, but I don't consider myself butch4butch bc my preference is for gnc women in general not just butches (like what I said ab my wife being gnc but not butch).

I used to have resources on this, but unfortunately I have a terrible memory and can't remember them at the moment to save my life. hoping someone who follows me will!!

this was much longer than I anticipated lmao & idk if it will actually make any real sense to anyone else 😅

[sunlightandsuffering]

Feminist Mikasa absolutely hating the idea of being pregnant and being a man’s stay at home wife. While frat boy Eren is the opposite, he wants a wife to have a bunch of babies with. Tells Mikasa very seriously he refuses to use condoms. And she’s like fuck why do I want to be his stay at home pregnant little wife

THE INTERNAL STRUGGLE !!! THE DESIRE FOR HER TO BE A LITTLE SUBSERVIENT, BUT ONLY FOR HIM!! k but on he's not this much of an asshole ahaha, fratboy Eren is just like, a dick, but he's not COMPLETELY trad husband get her pregnant vibes, he's just an asshole. HERE I'll show u his POV so y'all can make sense of it, this is how i was picturing him but with maybe more of an edge lol .

It’s not that Eren hates women. He doesn’t, he really doesn’t, he actually loves women, adores them. 

Mikasa, his childhood best friend turned enemy, well she just brings it out in him, his women hating tendencies.

He loves watching her get riled up, the fire in those beautiful silvery eyes of hers, it was intoxicating. Fighting became foreplay, and before he knew it, he was a glorified meninist, whatever the fuck that is. 

He can still remember the day it started, the tenth grade probably, Mikasa merrily stomping into class, armed with new knowledge: the wage gap, benevolent sexism, implicit gender bias. And Eren had watched, with horrified eyes as his tender spark of romance with the world’s most beautiful girl, the love of his life was crushed, lit aflame right in front of him… by fucking feminism of all things. Because how was he supposed to compete with a concept, even attempt a relationship when there were limitless facts about how awful men were? How was he supposed to compete with the faults of mankind? Thus, Mikasa didn’t date, she was waiting for a boy so perfect, that he could combat sexism itself, a feminist ally she said. 

Newsflash, they didn’t really exist, at least not in Eren’s experience, and thus, Eren became the very antithesis of everything she represented. And well, here they are. 

He’d been intrigued the first time it happened, an accident at a frat party when she was too drunk to remember much of anything at all. They’d made out a little before snuggling in his bed and Eren had slept contently for the first time in years.

He’d woken up the following morning to a scowl on her face and a hand on his dick, demanding he teach her what all the fuss was about. They’ve been enemies with benefits ever since. 

And Eren finds that despite their rabid dislike of one another, that he quite enjoys their new dynamic.

[possibilistfanfiction]

This might be an out of left field question and I hope it’s not rude. I have this friend who uses they/them pronouns. And I’ve been thinking lately whether or not it’s okay that I say guy and dude. In the context of if I’m hanging out with my friend and they are with a group of people I’ll be like “hey guys…” in greeting or addressing the whole group. guys in the plural sense of multiple people of multiple genders/identities. And with dude is always as an exclamation like “holy shit, dude, guess what”. But I know obviously both guy and dude are historically masculine terms. I’ve tried to stop saying hey guys but sometimes it slips out, I’ve used it my whole life. Is it bad to say that? Like do you think it’s offensive? Idk I know I should probably ask my friend but I don’t want to upset them in case it is a sensitive topic and it’s easier to ask a stranger online lol

as far as it goes personally w your friend, i would just ask if it’s ok to bring up ur question, & then if u get the go-ahead, you can definitely ask

in general i think all of this language policing by mostly neoliberal ppl is Beyond stupid. if a single person in my life doesn’t like a “gendered” term, then that’s fine, it’s easy to respect that. but overall words are what we make of them w the people we know; language is a social contract & it is always already about intent. sometimes our intent is fucked, sometimes our impact isn’t what we intended, ofc as with all things. but i guarantee ur friends don’t think if you say ‘dude’ or ‘guys’ that you’re screaming like I SEE YOU AS A CIS MAN. i promise they don’t unless ur a supremely shitty person, which i can tell ur not! to me cis men in positions of power saying ‘ladies’ (esp in sports) is weird & gross but like… there’s a difference there bc that IS saying ‘i see you all as a v particular kind of Cis Woman).

in my own world, i say dude sometimes to my wife, has nothing to do w me respecting her gender as a cis woman or not. i know she doesn’t care at all. i say girlies all the time bc to me pop girlie is a very important identity shared w friends, this covers a Span of genders & also my dog.

i also think it’s weird (not you specifically at all, just ppl are so prone to this) to think that ppl who use they/them pronouns hate all gendered terms. i can’t fucking stand pronouns, i think they’re so limited, so for me other terms i like are much more important in how i vibe in the world, how i see myself & what my lived experience has shaped & will continue to shape. i’m an eldest daughter (iykyk the ~trauma~ lol), i’m a sister, i’m a wife & a mom. i’m a dyke & somewhere in the soft butch realm. i genuinely don’t feel limited by those, & i also don’t like the term non-binary for myself, & i don’t align w being trans bc i rly don’t feel trans myself. i feel vaguely not-cis in that i want gender affirming care & im not a Cis Woman, but i’m also not-Not a woman.

so i would say like. imo saying ‘guys’ is rly mostly fine in general conversation. if ur worried abt being respectful to ur friend, u can ask if any of those “gendered” terms bother them, but otherwise i think language policing is just a weird neoliberal way of putting things into boxes to uphold the state 💁 there are far more serious & important things we can be doing to support our gender expansive buddies than deeply worrying about ‘dude’ overall, yknow?

[thetentaclecommander]

My Main Ships (in the AU)

Figure I’ll list the ships in my AU. Some of them are what the tender youth would call ““problematic.”” I see them as ‘compelling’, ‘having actual stakes,’ and having challenging conflicts beyond ‘will they love meee in this coffeeshop?’. Many of these people canon and OC have been with this AU since its inception and serve up the many themes found in it. Yes, some of them overlap as I'm team let people grow and have experiences/multiship. Nemesis/Jill The bread and butter of this AU. Full of complication as to why each proceeded with *dramatic handwave* this. A lot of unhealthy coping with their mutual and separate traumas (other than you know that whole trying to kill each other biz). Also, fun toying with that human/monster divide and how intimacy is wildly different between the other in monstrous ways. Is by far the most complicated ship. Gets very unsettlingly trippy with that 'mental connection' they have these days. Nemesis/Zeus(OC) I was apparently doing monstery brocon/twincest before it had a name (also lol myth shout out)? In seriousness, this is one of the most toxic ships in the AU because the two essentially are what happens when abuse travels down the line leading to unhealthy copes. It just happens to be between two highly dangerous monsters who both lack the concept of what family much less consent is (or even orientation; neither gets what that is, gender is 'what humans need us to be') while raised in horrible captivity, with one very out of his damn mind. Also noting that this AU doesn't deal in 'perfect' victims. Chris/Sheva A tragic pair that came to be out of Chris cheating on Jill out of loneliness and the distance Jill’s trauma caused. Things resolved where these two became an item (with Jill’s blessing even) but the vibe of Chris settling won't leave Sheva along with the torch for Jill Chris denies is there. He loves Sheva, he truly does, but that feeling for Jill is there, and Sheva, despite it all, hurts from that fact (never mind the guilt of at one time being the other woman). Ada/Carlos The spicy bi panic of two free spirits who know who they are and what they are about. Meeting up by ‘chance’ or rather by ‘plan’ as what are the odds of a spy and a guy for hire meeting up at the same places? They clearly run in similar circles but the attraction and fun of having a good time is there. Funny enough, one of my most healthiest of ships.

Shana(OC)/Jessica(OC) My too wholesome to live lesbian ship. One is a BSAA ‘green’ who after years of taking jobs under the table fighting BOW, can work on the up and up to fund her wife’s MS treatments. Aside from some of Shana’s work history (and the depths she’d go to save her wife), these two are just deeply in love with each other. Bonus round: Not as featured but part of the AU *lore* Brad/Gwen(OC) The secret between them – Brad hooking up with a too young Gwen and ending up with a love child – was what resulted in Brad living in fear of doing more wrong to her and his son, Tomas. Secretly paid money and cared for them at her request as Gwen didn’t want all their lives destroyed. Was it right? No, but this dynamic worked until someone found out using it to blackmail him into leaving Alpha Team behind at Spencer Mansion for hours. Trent(OC)/Gwen(OC) Trent and Gwen found themselves teen parents with the arrival of Tomas (he didn’t know Tomas wasn’t his). Trent was defeated by the prospect of his plans in the military being derailed and turned to drinking. He loved Gwen and Tomas but was prone to flirting when not sober. Gwen, hardworking and from the ‘wrong side the tracks’ sees herself as pragmatic and tried to manage the situation she found herself in with all the foibles of a teen that grew up too fast. Working jobs with a fake ID, she fought for her little family and cared for Trent and Gwen but held resentment to him not being reliable hence her staying out late and drunkenly hooking up with Brad. Tomas was her whole world and would crawl through hell for her son. Trent and Gwen are a hot mess that had Raccoon not happened would have probably either got their shit together or broken up. Ghandon(OC)/Tracey(OC) The put upon Nurse that actually cared for her ‘sons’ the NE-Ts: she read to them, talked to them like ‘people’, was a true ‘parent’ to them, watched as they gained more and more of a personality as the parasites learned. She had to ‘compete’ with Simon Ghandon’s attentions towards them who were not even remotely wholesome, to the point she played into the man’s delusions to gain the boys some respite. It, unfortunately, only worked for so long. Ghandon(OC)/His ‘boys’(OCs + Nemesis) Man with a God Complex + closeted + given complete control over 4 powerful BOW units. What could possibly go wrong? This is the main reason Nemesis has rage issues, control issues, lacks boundaries/has no idea of consent (other than not being human, so it’d been hard to grasp such a human-based concept anyway), and despises humans. Is one of the reasons (next to Nemesis) Zeus has really borked ideas on ‘love.’ This ship bracket is not just toxic, but hellish. Wesker/Jill Started as a side fling (not sexual but sexualized) feeding into Jill’s secret masochist tendencies (because no one was out about such things in the era of DADT and Anita Hill) that turns into a plot to manipulate her actions like with Brad and Barry. He intentionally knew the fallout would cause tension between her and Chris; then 5 happened. Oh boy did RE5 happen. Let’s just say he fucked her up mentally, emotionally and physically and continues to after his ‘death.’ Wesker is to Jill as Ghandon is to Nemesis. Wesker/Excella The Regional Director high on her own supply (and coke and wine) and the manipulative bioterrorist who plays along to get what he wants- what could possibly go wrong? Game playing was afoot, especially with her known jealousy toward the puppet, err Jill.