#''How the fuck did you get these powers bro'' Like man I want to know that too Scroll Subodhi! Still asking that question!

[beuxwhoyouare]

Escaping Holiday Responsibilities

You know Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and all the boys. And who can forget about singing Hanerot Halalu after lighting the menorah. There’s symbols and entities representing all of the holidays. But outside of the season we enjoy our peace and quiet. Sometimes though a season is so rough you can’t really blame an entity for wanting to get away.

I may or may not be Santa Claus. I’d say the best perk about the gig is that when the time comes you’re almost guided to your successor who then dons the classic look. So it’s a give and take. I mean having the power to fulfill lists of gifts you desire is great, but acquiring the look of a tubby bearded old man isn’t all that. The coolest thing though is you may not know it, but just because you don’t write a list doesn’t mean you don’t have holiday desires. I can still deliver gifts based on the list you make in your hearts. Cute as hell right? I’m basically a mind reader!

Before all this Claus business, I was unemployed and recently divorced when I received the call to step into the good ol boots. So a gig is a gig. I took it and ran, but that was like 30 years ago. So now once I retire I’m actually gonna look old and ragged.

So there I was last night delivering gifts at this random place in Chicago. Doing my best to stay quiet, delivering gifts as low key as possible when CRAAAAAACK! I stepped on a large glass ornament I somehow missed. I thought I was in the clear after no one came to check what happened and as I headed on my way out a baseball bat swung at my head.

I took the hit like a champ but when I turned around to see I saw a man standing there in black sweatpants and a sleeveless shirt with the bat ready to swing again.

“Ho ho hey hey wait. I’m literally Santa.” I whisper yelled while showing snowy crystals come out of my glove.

Right as he began to swing again I pulled more tricks out of my hat.

“I know your name is Russell O’Connor. You got a gunmetal tricycle as a 4 year old because you thought the red ones the store had were tacky and wanted to look tough!”

That’s when he stopped mid-swing.

“How-how did you know that pervert? Have you been watching me for years?”

I began to hear his inner list….a young man now in his mid-20s regretting his life decisions to get a girl knocked up as a teen? Interesting. He desires to get away from the so-called mess he made.

“I can offer you a way out of the mess you made. If that’s what your true hearts wish is this Christmas?!” I pleaded to not be beaten once again.

“How do you know what I want freak?”

“Bro I’m Santa, I know when you’ve been like bad or good and whatever. Listen do you want to get away from the mess you made or what?”

“Yes okay but like how are you going to do it? You’re not going to kill me or anything?”

“Honestly no one’s really ever wished for this so I gotta be able to do it somehow. That’s the Santa magic!”

“Okay let’s go for it. Do it! Get me out of here!”

I closed my eyes and rubbed my gloved hands together and then pulled them apart. As I pulled them apart a spark started forming but I wasn’t sure what to do with it. I tried to hold it steady but before I knew it, the spark grew too wild to control. The energy then turned white and exploded.

There was a ringing and we both yelled but then black.

When I woke up I found myself pushing up from a bed? That’s weird I don’t remember finishing all my deliveries. I reached up to scratch my beard but instead of my long luscious white beard a more close shaved beard grazed my hand. Wait where are my gloves? And my beard?

I looked down at the bed I didn’t recognize before looking back up to walk over to a nearby restroom with the night light on. The dim glow painted a picture I couldn’t believe. Surely I’m dreaming?

I fumbled around the foreign room before locating the light switch, only to have the bright lights confirm what I was seeing. I raised both arms and posed….

“No fucking way!?” The cursing surprised me, being a Claus the job prevents your mouth from ever even forming a curse word.

I’m Russell? But the Santa step down process just returns you to your normal self not swaps you with someone? How did this? Could my desires have matched with his conflicting my magics intent?

I lifted the shirt barely hiding anything of my new body I now resided in. Woah…I wasn’t much of a gym person in my former life but maybe there’s reason to be. I mean look at this beef? I reached my muscular hand up to my new proud chest and squeezed. Ahhh grazing my new nipple I revealed a new found sensitivity I never previously had. Looks like that’s going to be fun, I nearly salivated.

I can do adult things again and live a life again! No more having to spend months working to achieve someone else’s dreams. Or maybe I’ll fulfill other dirtiest dreams. I mean this body should go to work somehow.

I’m sure OnlyFans would love to see how thick I am everywhere. It’s time to be a family man settle down the right way and make a good living by selling the best gift I’ve ever given myself.

My new tool hardening nearly pulling down my sweatpants waistband itself. I grabbed it before taking a peak at my new equipment. Ohhhhh looks like I’ll still be delivering gifts to quite a few people in different ways with this beer can.

[100-gar]

Controversial take but i watched all of jjk, in subbed, so it had my full attention 100% of the time, and i am of the opinion that it just fucking sucks.

So me and my wife were talking about it, and we were trying to figure out why people like it and we've come up short. I do not understand what's so appealing about this show for so many people. Can someone PLEASE tell me.

[imminent-danger-came]

There was one time before s4 of Monkie Kid aired where I was like, "MK is totally gonna parallel Mei from 3x10 and he's going to leave because he's scared of his own power", and let me tell you, watching s4 was the most validating experience of my life

[mydr3aminvi0let]

i wear a lot of skirts and pink and whatnot as my style has developed with me & my personality but when one of those age regression girlies latch onto me....i do not like that

[racew1nn3rs]

─ 𝘚𝘌𝘊𝘙𝘌𝘛𝘚, 𝘚𝘌𝘊𝘙𝘌𝘛𝘚 🫀

max verstappen x singer!fem reader // smau

⤷ summary: when max verstappen starts commenting on the posts of the beloved singer y/n l/n, fans are confused and less than enthusiastic at the new friendship. what they could never expect is just how long they've been 'friends'...

based on this request <3

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liked by sabrinacarpenter, maxverstappen1, and 46,908 others

tagged sabrinacarpenter

ynusername my new album is now officially out on all platforms! thank you so so much for all of the love and support, and special thanks to sab for her feature on the song <33 love u bb girl 🫦🫦 now that the album's out, tour next!!! see you all soon!

23,560 comments

user1 THE ALBUM OUT. THIS IS NOT A DRILL PEOPLE THIS IS NOT A DRILL.

user2 i cannot be normal about this i fear

user3 ik her back hurts from CARRYING the music industry on her back 😩

user4 hey so WHO TF IS SO AMERICAN ABOUT?? A LOVE SONG

user5 y/n writing a love song in god's year of 2024... wow

user6 y/n in the top 10 charts, fork found in kitchen

user7 sabrina and y/n are never beating the gf allegations

ynusername damn right we're not 😏

user7 HOLY SHIR HOKY SHIT HOKST SHUT

user8 y/n's in love and it's not with me, hanging myself as we speak

user9 the comment is gonna get reported but so real op

user8 can't a woman hang herself in peace 😣

user10 album's such a banger i had this shit bumpin at my grandmas funeral 🙏🏼 rest in piece nancy 🕊️💪🏻

user11 OH MY GOD???

user12 rest in piece nancy you would've loved make you mine 😔

ynusername oh my god please tell me your joking

user10 sorry queen the grind never stops

ynusername NO SHOT

maxverstappen1 great album! 👍🏼

user13 why does he text like my father 🧍🏻‍♀️

user14 brother eughh

user15 what da hell is a polar bear doin in arlington texas

ynusername thank you max!!!

user16 y/n l/n to redbull in 2025

user17 hellurrrrr who is this man in ur likes y/n

user18 f1 driver!!

user17 Y/N NO ATHELETES PLEAEJEWK 🫵

user18 tour content soon??? i'm sat

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user19 bro looks like he snuck onto earth, get his ass outta here

user20 grammy-award winner, vogue cover model, new york university graduate and Some Fucking Guy

user21 not y'all coming to her defense like the mighty morphin power rangers 💀💀 he's literally a world class athete and she writes pop music

user20 17.172.224.47

user21 IS THAT MY IP ADDRESS??

user20 melinda charleton

user22 IS THAT HIS MOTHER'S NAME!!?1?1!

user20 you want me to do you too???

user22 no we good 😃

user23 ruth bader ginsberg did not die for this

user24 now wtf does this have to do with babe ruth 🤨

user25 WHOOOOO 😧

user24 ... that wasn't right was it

user26 now let's be fr he does NAWT have a chance

user27 have u seen the marble-carved  goddesses these men pull, i fear he does 😔

user28 please no i feel ill

user29 TWO???? OH HELL NAW

user30 two might be pushing it, only one was confirmed

user31 jesus christ

user32 first taylor, now this

user33 yall, all he commented was great album 💀💀 yall are LEAPING to conclusions

user34 what can i say it's an art

user35 i do not see 👁️👄👁️

user36 no like 💀💀 im in your walls

user37 haha max verstappen!! right!!! (theres a sniper at ur location)

user38 omg ur so right 🤩 it is about him (i have a bomb strapped to my chest)

user39 i dont mean to sound stupid, idk who that man is, if i saw him on the streets i wouldnt know a thing 🥱

user40 this is so random too like what 😭

user41 the power of kindness won't work here, i have to throw him off a building

user42 i used to be a max verslsjjwwo lover 🤩 now im just a max verslsjjwwo hater 😔

user43 NURSE 🫵 SHE'S OUT AGAIN

user44 why would u put that into the universe 😧

user45 alright, lets get you to bed grandma

user46 mari stop being delusion and go touch grass 🧍🏻‍♀️

user47 ENOUGHHHH

user48 ain't no way in hell 😭

user49 ik ur feet hurt from all this jumping to conclusions babe

user50 lets leave the parkour to the athletes 😃

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liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris, and 54,789 others

ynusername italy thanks for letting me be inside you (; it was such a lovely show, expect me back asap!!!!

15,267 comments

user51 IT WAS SO GOOD I THNK I BLACKED OUT THE WHOLE TIME THO

user52 oh!

user51 oh so now this isn't a safe space

user53 LANDO AND MAX IN TGE LIKES??? NO NO NO NO

user54 ABORT ABORT ABORT

user55 y'all are doing too much 🙄 she's one of the top artists in the world, i think it's safe to say they might like her music

user56 the second picture 🧎🏻‍♀️do you need a stool cause i can kneel and be really quiet

user57 y/n fans be normal challenge (impossible!!!) (never done before)

user56 WOMP WOMP

maxverstappen1 wonderful show! 🙏🏼 you are so talented

ynusername ty max (: im glad you could come see me

user57 ain't NO WAYYYYYY

user59 THIS IS SIXKENJNG IM GONNA PUKE

sabrinacarpenter my gf looking sexy 🫦🫦🫦

ynusername only for u bbg 🧎🏻‍♀️🧎🏻‍♀️🧎🏻‍♀️

user60 BOOOO 🗣️ GET A ROOM

user61 do y'all need a third!!!!

user62 mamma mia pizza pasta mozzerella moment

user63 i just put u on a watchlist

user62 🧍🏻‍♀️

landonorris RAHHHHHH 🦅🫵🗣️‼️

ynusername RAHHH RAHHH RAHHH RISE POWER POWER 💪🏻‼️

user63 what the fuck

user64 OH GOD WHAT IF SHES DATING HIM????

ynusername brother eughhhh

landonorris WHAT THE FUCK????

user65 SINCE WHEN IS SHE FRIENDS WITH F1 DRIVERS HOW MANY CHAPTWRS DID I MISS

user66 apparently we all went into a universal coma while she was out galavanting cause idk how else this could've happened

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maxverstappen1 posted to his story!

(caption: beautiful show)

22,456 replies

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user67 someone save my girl bro, she don't know any better 😭

user68 it's like a little kid trying to touch the hot stove, LIKE STOP THAT!! DON'T DO THAT

user69 am i the only one who thinks they'd be cute together....

user70 YES!?!?

user71 there is literally no fucking way he bagged her

user72 losing y/n to european f1 driver would be the biggest american tragedy since 2001

user73 i had to read this shit twice, op what r u waffling abt 🫵😧

user74 can't even be nonchalant about this one bro, i'm chalanting hard asf

user75 we do not care

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liked by redbullracing, f1, and 78,567 others

tagged maxverstappen1

ynusername first time in monaco, safe to say i enjoyed myself! so happy to see you shine this time my love<3

25,788 comments

user76 oh. my. fucking. god

user77 THEYRE FUCKING DATING OH MYFODNSJ

user78 THAT SHOULD BE MEEEE HOLDING YOUR HAND THAT SHOULD BE MEEE MAKING YOU LAUGHHH 🎤

user79 i'm in mourning

sabrinacarpenter CHEATER 🫵

ynusername BABY IT'S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE, IT WAS JUST ONE TIME 😣😣😣 IT WAS A MISTAKE

maxverstappen1 we've been dating for 2 years??

sabrinacarpenter SHUT UP FAST & FURIOUS NO ONE ASKED YOU

user80 i'm sorry 😃 two Y EARS

user81 i feel like i just got dumped. y/n don't do this, the kids need you 😔

maxverstappen1 i got p1 for you, i love you 🫶🏼

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hope you all enjoyed! please let me know your thoughts and feel free to leave a request for me to write something for your fav <3

[419jhat]

Eddie's lagging behind his friends at comicon, lazily taking in a particularly cool d20 being sold in the artist alley when he spots her. Seated in a chair, looking bored as fuck while she scrolls on her phone, was the most beautiful Blossom he's ever laid his eyes on. She wasn't wearing the usual outfit. She'd switched it out for something preppy and modern- a pleated pink skirt swishing around her thighs, cute white socks, and a sweater vest that shows off how much she goes to the gym. She looks like she would've called him a freak in high school, but in a sexy way, which is a thought that he doesn't want to reflect on without his therapist present.

"You gonna shoot your shot?" Gareth asks.

Eddie feels like he's been caught.

"I don't know, maybe I will," he says with a shrug.

"She's out of your league, friend. She looks like she'd step on you."

"I know," Eddie sighs.

Gareth looks incredibly unimpressed . "Ugh. Go. Before I leave you standing here like an idiot and she notices you staring. Which you're doing a lot, by the way."

He finishes with a shove right between Eddie's shoulder blades, forcing him to stumble toward Ms. Blossom in a way that catches her attention. And then he has to walk up to her, because he's looking at her and she's looking at him, and neither of them are looking away and it's becoming a whole thing. He walks toward her slowly, because he can't think of what to say, and the way she's playing with her wig is really distracting and cute.

"Uh. Waiting for a Rowdy Ruff Boy?" he jokes awkwardly. Blossom's face morph into pure disgust and Eddie wants to melt into the floor.

"Seriously bro?" she asks with a shockingly deep voice.

Before Eddie can make his brain snap together a response, the other Power Puff Girls are running up to them.

"Steve! I hope you didn't wait long, Chris wanted to get one of those- oh. Hello," Buttercup says, when she notices him. Bubbles' blonde hair is very real, and very cute pulled into pigtails. Buttercup seems to have just dyed hers black for the occasion.

"Hi," Eddie says lamely. He waves at them, for some reason.

Buttercup gasps. "Are you hitting on him? We can leave and come back. Come on, babe," she says, grabbing Buttercup's hand.

"Don't fuck this up!" Bubbles says as she's pulled away.

"Oh my god, ignore them. What did you say?" Steve, apparently, asks. Eddie wants to crawl in a hole and die. He can just feel Gareth laughing behind him.

"It's was a joke. You know, the Rowdy Rough Boys?" Steve doesn't seem to know, so he adds, "the evil boy version of the Power Puff Girls?"

Steve looks down at his clothes as some kind of recognition dawns on his face. "Oh! Shit dude, I haven't seen the show. Rob and her girlfriend just really needed a Blossom."

This is usually the point Eddie would tease Steve about being a poser, but he looks so sincere (and his biceps are so distracting) that his game is totally out of shape. A guy who would don a skirt for his friends? A man after his own heart! He half wants to make up an excuse and leave to save himself from further shame, but he's too enticed by the cute moles on Steve's jaw that he lets himself suffer a little longer.

Steve looks him up and down and asks, "so what are you supposed to be?"

Eddie looks down at his ripped jeans and says, "...me."

He's internally kicking himself for leaving his own outfit in the hotel room.

Steve smiles up at him in a way that shows off his makeup. "Well it's working for you. You know when you first came up to me I thought you were asking me if I wanted to get rough with you."

Eddie laughs awkwardly, cheeks burning, because bombing an interaction this badly is exactly the kind of thing the universe would demand of him. Steve just stares at him. Eddie stares back awkwardly, wondering what he's supposed to even say. He can see Buttercup and Bubbles a few feet away, mouthing something at him combined with a collection of hand gestures he doesn't really understand. Steve sighs. Then he flicks the wig in a way that's kind of flirty and says, "that was an invitation, dude. You gonna take it or sit there and keep staring at my tits?"

And Eddie does take the invitation, thank you very much.

[charlesxavierthirster3000]

Burdened — L. Howlett

Pairing: Logan Howlett x Fem!Reader

Summary: Based on this request!!!!

CW/Tags: not proofread bc I literally finished this at 5am 😭, Logan is an ASS, a lot lot of feelings, lowk heavy angst I THINK, no use of Y/N, don't like don't read.

A/N: @rambosgirl Ily girlie I really enjoyed writing this :33 I AM SO INSANELY SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG !!!!!!! Also while writing the ending of this my Spotify Smart Shuffle fucking played First Love/Late Spring by Mitski and I swear it knows how fitting it is bro wtaf ok LAST statement but like this is my first 1K+ word fic are you guys proud of me :33 I'm starting this at like 3am so don't bully me if the ending doesnt' make sense ok byeeeeeeeee

WC: 1.6K (get comfy guys) / Navigation

It was unnecessarily irritating. And frankly really, really fucked up.

Anytime you turned your back from a seemingly butterfly-inducing interaction with Logan, you found him all over Jean as if he wasn’t just chatting you up four minutes ago.

Jean Grey was—from what you’ve surveyed over your time at the mansion—not really phased, despite her somewhat established relationship with Scott. She was intelligent and good-natured, flashing you sickeningly sweet smiles in the corridors and occasionally complimenting your outfits as if hers weren’t twice as stunning.

But every time you spotted Logan gazing down at her with the look you thought he’d reserved for your eyes only, the image of perfection the redheaded telepath had materialised in front of you dissipated like a glass of ice left to liquefy under the scorching sun.

Because she never pushed him away, and she was so clearly inevitably attracted, whether she displayed it or not. It was virtually written all across her sharp features, and you knew the same was scripted all over your own when speaking to Logan.

That dip your heart made every time you saw the two’s chemistry from afar; it wasn't just blatant jealousy. 

It was deeper.

It was nastier.

It clung to your insides like a weight you couldn't possibly shake off. The constant sense that you were just a swift distraction, a momentary diversion from the real object of his desire. 

It ate you up from the inside out and exhausted you to no end.

When Storm or Rogue cautiously approached you and tried to console you, you shrugged it off as if it was some uncomplicated highschool sweetheart drama. They knew damn well it wasn’t. Your conflicting feelings for Logan were gradually making you lose yourself— your well-built dignity. You were slowly but surely morphing into someone you didn’t even recognise. Someone who accepted being second best without any contemplation.

All for a man who was immortal. All for someone who presumably considered you a fleeting paragraph in his primitive life while he was an entire novel in yours.

You wanted— needed to locate yourself in the vast body of water which was your feelings. You needed your sense of self-worth to reappear by a miracle, nevertheless, you knew it would take immense time and exertion to track it back down.

But in a wretched attempt to do so, you settled on a fairly elaborate plan and started disregarding each one of Logan’s advances. Suddenly, you conveniently had somewhere else to be every time he approached, you pulled back and overlooked his easy smiles along with the playful banter you practically used to feed off of.

At first, it felt as if you were reclaiming some of your power, spotting his perplexed looks in your peripheral vision as you wandered off to God knows where. But of course, everything you did came back to bite you in the ass. If anything, it only made the truth clearer. He barely even noticed, and if he did, he didn’t give a single shit.

And Jean? She remained unbothered, untouchable— flawless, even. You were the mastermind of this whole game, yet you were the only one losing.

After a particularly humiliating stretch of witnessing Logan and Jean’s shared giggles and stolen looks from across the table, you ultimately found your resolve. Alcohol really was liquid courage, because after a few drinks and several stabs of food, you closed in on them lounging on the couch post-meal. 

Logan’s bare arm was extended across the back of the grimy cushions behind Jean like some kind of cheesy rom-com, cowlicks a prominent silhouette against the weak flickering of the television. But no matter how much you resented them— her, you would never even come by the opportunity to be in the redhead’s position.

“Howlett,” you enunciated, voice sharp enough to slice through the ambient noise like a shard of glass.

Howlett. No other soul could call him that without repercussions. Aside from you. That was why you felt so unique, so distinct from the others, that was the crumb of specialty you were desperately clinging on to.

He shifts to glance over his shoulder, a spark of recognition igniting within him at the sound of your voice—not missing the shred of urgency concealed beneath it. “Hm? What's up?”

You hesitate with your next words, intently but subtly taking in his scruffy features in the dimmed lighting for what felt like it could be the final time. Because after this, you knew for a fact neither one of you could view each other in the same way. You were the one who let him under your skin, you were the one who had to tear him out, and it unfortunately was an agonisingly slow process.

“We need to talk.”

Four words. Yet, it still gave you the sensation of several weights placed upon your back; the unavoidable impending argument, manipulation spat right into your face, and the most dreaded of all, how circumstances would be after tonight.

His expression stiffened mildly as he reluctantly got up from the couch, aged leather groaning beneath his weight. The sensation of Jean abruptly invading the back of your mind was extremely unsettling and even though she appeared unphased, she, without a question, detected your abnormal uneasiness and was gingerly flicking through your thoughts.

Which was apprehensive, to say the least.

Logan fell into step with you as you departed from one of the many doddering living rooms, proceeding to a more secluded space nearing the obnoxious stairs in front of the grand entryway, mansion almost bizarrely silent with all the kids asleep. Jean wasn’t in your head anymore, but she undoubtedly already knew your objectives to the script.

You halted and so did Logan, weight finding its position set upon the auburn wood of the stairs. 

He eyed you with undivided attention. Your stomach threatened to do a fucking flip despite the conditions, the look nearly making you scrap all of this and go right back to being his side piece regardless of the anguish it put your mind through. But you dug your heels in, the clearing of your throat echoing sharply off the vacant walls.

You square your shoulders and tilt your chin up boldly, aiming to stand your ground. “What the hell am I to you? Because from what I see and a whole lot of other people do, I’m just an afterthought. Filler for the gaps Jean left open. Care to elaborate on that, Howlett?” 

He sighed, glancing at the wall behind you as if he was already fed up. “It’s not like that, bub. You’re makin’ it bigger than it is.”

Your blood scorched at the casual dismissal. Your voice inevitably rose but doesn’t go over a whisper, “Don’t patronise me, Logan,” you scoff. “I’m not some stupid kid with a stupid crush, so don’t let your ego get out of hand. I’ve watched you get all up on her, and then come to me when she’s got a class. Do you even fucking hear yourself?” 

His jaw stiffened, his own frustration growing. “You really think it’s that easy? I never asked you to get involved. You know how it is with me and her. You don’t get how fucked my life is, it’s your own fuckin’ fault things got messy.”

“Yeah, yeah. Go sulk somewhere else, I don’t give a shit how crappy your life is. It doesn’t take much to be a decent fucking human!— mutant, whatever. I’m not gonna let you come crying to me when things don’t work out with Jean. I’m worth more than that. You can’t see that, it’s your damn problem, not mine.”

He was visibly trying to find his footing, and you took it as an opportunity to carry on, “It’s not my fault this got sloppy. You can’t just invite a woman for a nice drive and end up throwing her out the door a moment later. You knew damn well what you were doing to m—” 

“You don’t know what I gotta deal with every day. It’s difficult. I never wanted it to get like this. You were the one overthinkin’ it.”

You shook your head forcefully, exasperation boiling over. “I don’t give a fuck, Logan— stop hiding behind that, you don’t even remember half of your damn life! It’s not messy, it’s cruel. I’ve had my own trouble, but I don’t use it as an excuse to hurt people who care about me. Don’t put all of it on my back.”

He opens his mouth to retort, but you cut him off. “Don’t. Don’t say anything. I’ve dealt with you for half my time here. I’ve had enough of your bullshit.” A flash of remorse graced his eyes but it didn’t do a thing. 

“I’m not your backup plan. I’m not waiting for you to look at me the way you look at Jean. I deserve someone who doesn’t just act like they give a shit. I’ve made my choice and you’ve made yours. I’m done. Goodnight, Howlett.”

With a harsh turn of your heel, you walked away with a heavy heart. But your head was clear for the first time in months, your shoulders were lighter, and the clarity you felt nearly blew your veins out. It would be painstakingly tough to face him tomorrow morning, but you knew you would get over it eventually.

Also i just realised in the morning Washing Machine Heart works WAYYy better but it's whatever I guess 😮‍💨

[bbokicidal]

Hello! The dick analysis was so 🤤🤤🤤 and you’ve become my virgin!skz dealer now! 😍😍😍

Speaking of which, what kind of subs would skz be? Could you write some hcs pls?

(Ps: I hope the headache you had has gone away! 🫶)

Have a wonderful day (or night depending on when you’re reading this)! ❤️❤️❤️

I'm about to do some bombass 5-STAR themed makeup but I'll write up some quick head canons, sure!! (Also my migraine has mostly gone away lol, ty for well wishes !!)

Chris :

Softest bottom ever, so compliant and eager to please.

Power... bottom? Maybe? Mm, not the right word. More of; He'll do anything you ask and he miiiight fuck you on his own a little if you're edging him and he knows he can't take it anymore.

So obedient. So so obedient, so sweetheart coded. Just there to make you feel good 'n gets soooo flustered with his ears and neck all red in embarrassment from having all your attention on him. <3

Minho :

Brat !! Brat I say !!!

So bratty, so mean. Cannot keep his mouth shut because he's always whining or biting back about how you're moving too slow or you're not going hard enough with him.

Be mean !! Spit in his mouth to assert dominance. That'll shut his ass up. <3

Changbin :

Pillow Princess Bin <3

The sweetest angel in bed. Less of an eager pleaser than Chris and more just - happy to be there, enjoying the moment, basking in the worship and adoration you shower him in.

Sit on his face and suffocate him. Man likes to eat, 'n that includes your holes. ;)

Hyunjin :

SO loud. So so loud, so whiny. Constantly moaning. Literally produces the PRETTIEST sounds you'll ever hear when he's subbing !!

The type to enjoy nipple clamps and wearing lacy lingerie for you because he knows just how much you like how lean he is <3333 (im tweaking out im just inserting my own fantasies in here now)

Looooves to be edged. Wants you holding a vib to the tip of his pretty pink cock until he's actually spraying cum and shaking so much he can't breathe. Also likes to have his ass ate, I don't make the rules. (I do.)

Jisung :

Bottom. BITCH.

Aka not a sub very often but when he does???? Mmm Mm MMMMM. So so so submissive, enters subspace so fucking fast when he's feeling a bit down. Also a very good communicator about what he wants/needs for the evening!!!

Honestly? I think his favorite thing to do while being submissive is dressing up. He likes wearing the big hoodies, the frilly socks, having his hair pinned back and sitting w his cute lil anime girl legs.

Felix :

Alright I'm gonna say on one hand, I can see him in cute pink clothing with garter belts and stockings and sleeves covering his hands, etc etc etc. Whimpering, hair in bows and pigtails, all cute 'n shit.

Another part of me says he's just so vanilla when hey subs and it's bc he doesn't prefer subbing. He really only subs when you either A) ask him to so you can experiment, or B) he needs you to blow him. :)

Definitely a moaner tho. <3

Seungmin :

An actual dog, bro.

Growls, bites, even spits at you sometimes. A brat, fr! Buuuuut if you put him in his place then he's sooooo compliant and whimpering like the good puppy he is.~

The type to hump your leg if you deny him his needs, biting at your thighs and even eating you out with long licks to get your attention until you flip him over 'n suffocate him by sitting on his face. <3

Jeongin :

I really don't see him as submissive,,,, ever. So I'm gonna say he's really only submissive when he's by himself.

Has definitely used toys before on himself, has taken it up the ass. Did enjoy it but won't admit it aloud bc he's too shy. <3 But !!!

He did let you in on his secret a lil later on, and now if you ask reaaaaaally nicely and have it all planned out, he might let you peg him until he cries. <3 (Face down ass up Innie?? MMMMM)

[onelittlespiral]

FML:Relax

From the moment I arrived, I felt like I stuck out like a sore thumb. I had come on vacation to kick back for a few days and get some action, but the resort had nearly no women and was instead populated with almost all men. They seemed like nice guys when I talked to them, certainly my kind of guys with how jacked they were. Or at least I thought so.

“Hey cutie, wanna come spend some time with daddy?”

“A newbie! Don’t worry, I’ll be gentle and sweet with you.”

“You looking to top or bottom?”

I realized I must have come on the Gay Days, and the men there were not shy about coming on to me. I tried to politely excuse myself whenever they turned the topic to sex. I spent a lot of time at the pool trying to just relax and have a good time, but it was starting to tick me off.

“Hey, I haven’t seen you here before.”

A man came and sat next to me. He was a scruffy guy, tanned and huge like most of the rest of them. The scent of sunscreen and BO rolled off him. His arms were wrapped in some nerdy tattoos but their size clearly showed he worked out hard. If he wasn’t here this week I would assume him to be a good pick for a gym bud.

“Yeah, first time. Didn’t realize I booked…uh…this week. Not really my scene.”

Something in his demeanor changed. It was hard to describe, but I felt a lot more at ease. He leaned over and began whisper to me,

“If I’m being honest. It isn’t much for me either. But fuck these gay guys know how to party. They’ve got just about anything you could want to take, and basically just pass the shit around. You ever actually tried poppers? I was fucked up bro.”

Maybe it was finally meeting another straight guy but I began relaxing.

He continued, “I got some stashed if you want to swing by and try some shit out.”

Maybe this vacation wouldn’t be such a wash.

I stopped by his room later that afternoon. He greeted me at the door and invited me in as he promised to show off the goods. The room was trashed. The floor was strewn with dirty shirts, shorts, and jockstraps. Shot glasses and beers were stuck to the tables. The bed was drenched in sweat. I stepped in and took a seat on the couch, cautions to avoid the mess. He sat down next to me.

“So, what have you got?”

“You now babe,” he said, throwing his arm in the air.

“Whaaaa…haaa” I started before my brain was afloat.

I slowly leaned forward, drawn in by the thick musk that radiated from his pit. I tried to resist but soon my nose was pressed against it as his sweat filled my brain. I tried to pull back but he rested his arm against the back of my head, pinning me as my brain shut down on the fumes. It wasn’t long before my tongue lolled out of my mouth.

“There you go. Relax. Good boy.”

Good boy. It echoed in my brain, bouncing till it was the only thought left. I quivered in anticipation as I continued to drink in his scent and let his hair tickle my face.

“Yeah, lap it up big boy. This is right where you belong. It was designed just for you, to trap guys and help them fit in a bit more.”

What did he mean by that? But as he told me to lap it up, it was no longer good enough to just smell. I gave a hesitant lick. It only took one as his sweat swam across my mind. All functionality shut down as I worshipped that pit. As I did, I began to feel a change. Deep within an itch, a need developed. A need to be desired by this man… no. To be desired by men. Any who would have me. I felt a new power flow through me, a revitalized energy and strength. He pulled my dumbstruck face out of his pit and gave my hair a quick tousle. His hand glided down my cheek to my chin, and with a firm flick of his wrist pulled my lips to his. He pressed my face to his in a deep kiss as new memories filled my mind. Memories of long nights dancing and drinking at bars. Days working out getting shredded before hitting the sauna for some fun. Of pride parades and glitter in my beard. The longer he kissed me the more I felt myself grow completely comfortable in his arms. I belonged here, with all the hottest guys living it up for a week at the resort. I had been coming here for years to show off, party hard, and fuck into the early morning. My old self was being flushed away, leaking out of my cock, while the new personality filled in the gaps.

My body began to change where his hands brushed over my body. Arms swelled as biceps grew to mounds on my arms. Pecs hung heavy with muscle. Thighs and legs sent slow rips through my shorts until they had burst through, leaving my swelling cock to fight the jockstrap underneath. Feet inched across the floor as my toes curled from the strain. Every inch writhed beneath his touch. He pulled me back to inspect me.

“Damn you’re turning out well, some of my finest work.”

I mumbled in agreement, still stuck in a state of ecstasy as I felt new power surging through me. “Time to seal the deal.”

He slid his jock down, and the full force of his sweat and musk sent my brain swimming. I couldn’t resist as he slid his cock down my open throat, balls deep, and began face fucking me. As his bush filled my nostrils, pre slid down my throat in a steady stream. I felt warm all over, as a deep tan set in. I had come to this resort for years and loved sunbathing and showing off my muscles. The heat persisted, turning to a sweat, the sweat turning to a deep funk. It was the same smell invading my mind and body as he continued to thrust, deeper as my body adjusted to years of sucking men off. It felt like no surprise as a dusting of hair covered my pecs, then pushed down my stomach before my shaved down bush exploded. My pits filled in to better capture my own smell, and keep me just a little high on my own supply.

“Fuck yeah little bro, you’re gonna be so good out there.”

He slipped a hat over my head, and my mind filled with a new purpose. To kick back at this resort and fucking party. To feel pride in who I was and become one of the community. But, most importantly, to grow the tribe and bring more guys into the fold. I felt his cock tense in my mouth as my mind slowed down to accept my place as a gay god, to worship my bros and be worshiped. As thick ropes shot down my throat, I felt strong. I smelt rank. And I was fucking home.

The next day, a new guy showed up to the resort. Skinny, shy, out of place. I came over to talk with him.

“First time here, bro?”

“Yeah, not quite sure I belong.”

“Don’t worry,” I said. Throwing my arm behind my head. My musk caught his attention as his eyes began glazing over, “Why don’t I show you around?”

“Ye…yeah…yeah.”

“Don’t worry,” his face was soon resting in my pit, and I saw his muscles twitch with anticipation, “you’re gonna fit right in bro.”

[slimmestofshady]

Bad Habits Kill You- pt2

Warnings: Domestic violence (not between you and marsh), mentions of cheating, drug dealing, drug use, mentions of cocaine, guns.

The winter light of the morning peered in through the raggedy shades as you poured the last of the pancake mix into the bowl. Ellie was coloring still in her pajamas with messy hair, the last page of her book, soon you’d have to find something else to occupy her.

Sara bounced joyfully in her play pen, having an adoring smile spread across her innocent face, she was going to be heartbreaker when she grew up that was for sure.

Somehow, same way you were safe for another month from being thrown out on the streets. Marshall brought in two months worth of rent in a week. You hadn’t asked where he’s gotten it from nor did you want to know the answer so long as trouble wasn’t coming around the house and your girls were safe.

The phone ringing reeled you from your thoughts as you set down Ellie’s plate, kissing her on her forehead, mentioning to eat up before picking up the phone.

“Hello?”

“Hey it’s me..” Fuck, Marshall would kill you right now if he was here, Andre seemed to only fuel his anger. He typically wasn’t a jealous man, but perhaps he was because Andre had his shit together, his business was flourishing and maybe it was a bit odd that he kept you around with how much you had to call off or leave work early.

“I told you, you can’t call here anymore.” You released a breath if relief that he at least called the house phone before the cell you shared with Marshall, surely he would have called by now had Andre called the phone.

“I just wanted to check in, see if you or the girls needed anything, is that so bad? Besides how am i supposed to get ahold of you for extra hours?” Well no it wasn’t so bad, but in Marshall’s eyes it was. Andre was just a man trying to help and that hurt Marshall’s pride, he had never made a move on you personally, regardless of the nice comment he made to Ellie about you. Marshall didn’t need help from another dude, he didn’t want it, he didn’t want help from no one because he knew how it was. People will always want something in return cause of favor, that’s just how this town worked and he wanted no part of it if it meant a threat to his kids. He may be broke but there was another part to Andre he could see that you didn’t.

“Mommy who is that?” Ellie was always so curious as to what was going on around her, not that you blamed her there wasn’t much for her to do around the house anymore.

“Just talking to an old friend baby.” 

Meanwhile Marshall was on the outskirts of town, cig hanging from his lips while his arms crossed waiting on the dude to fuckin show up.

Glancing down at the barely charged phone, the guy still had 5 minutes.

When a conspicuous black car rolled up, Marshall was immediately on edge. That bitch was expensive and aint nobody in this town could afford some shit like that.

When the man rolled down the window he sighed before huffing and puffing.

“What the fuck took you so long bro? I’m out here freezin my fuckin balls off man!” The guy chuckled before getting out of his car. He was an old classmate of Marshall’s but heard about the trouble going around the block near his house. 

“You got what I asked for?” 

“Man, stop playin you know I always gotchu.” They both scanned out the area to ensure no one was around before Charles nodded off toward the car.

Typically he didn’t do this, but with the events at the house, Andre tryna steal his girl and the break in, he had to do something, even if it wasn’t necessarily right.

“Yo you still usin?” This question alone, especially coming out of left field made Marshall suspicious, he didn’t like sharing his shit around town, the less people knew about him the better.

“Depends, who wanna know?”

“Chill man, shit.” He reached into his jacket pocket, pulling out a little baggy filled with white power.

“I know it ain’t your usual but here take this, it’ll take the edge off and keep you awake to watch yo baby girl, I know you care for her man.” He was hesitant at first, not having tried coke yet but he succumbed to his bad thoughts swiping the bag from the guy and pushing it deep into pant pocket.

He nodded off as a thanks, watching the man get back in his expensive ass car, shit he could only dream about.

Marshall walked through the door, smiling softly at the scene of you and Ellie fast asleep peacefully on the sofa covered in a blanket. Sara was up bouncing around, he was shocked she wasn’t crying or anything hut boy did her smile light up when she saw her daddy. 

He stepped around the creaks on the floor board carefully, setting down an envelope of cash down on the table before swooping up his baby girl delicately.

“Daddy’s here…” He patted Sara on the back softly, pecking her forehead repeatedly.

Her bright blue eyes sparkled in the dim light, reminding Marshall of why he did what he did. She made all the bad days worth it, she was just a piece of the boulder that was his family to keep him sane.

He walked around the room with her, eventually settling in her nursery, pulling out old photos of when your relationship was flourishing. Pointing Sara to herself in each photo. A couple shots of when she was first born in the hospital, Marshall remembering how happy you both were welcoming baby number two into the world.

Another portrait of this past christmas and her big blue eyes wide while she examined one of the stuffed rabbits you got her, her tiny hands grasping at the animal before whimpering.

He sniffed her bum seeing if she needed change but no, perhaps hungry.

Walking into the kitchen he took out the last baby bottle of milk, eventually sitting down on the recliner and reaching for a bib to place below the small of her chin. The room was quiet leaving Marshall alone with his thoughts once again. His eyes settling on your unconscious figure, holding Ellie closely to your chest, the scene washing guilt over him like a hurricane, knowing that he had lied and wasn’t planning on going back to rehab anytime soon. The questions were soon to come about where the cash was coming from and why he wasn’t attending meetings. His focus was on his kids, minimum wage jobs wouldn’t pay shit and he wasn’t about to work in a factory and risk having Andre babysit again, the man’s name fuels every fiber of hatred in his body. His goal was to protect his girls, his woman, that was it but shit there had to be some give in this vicious cycle he was putting himself through.

A knock at the door startled him from his thoughts, jolting you awake while Ellie stirred in her sleep. 

“Who’s at the door?” Your voice was as quiet as a mouse, Marshall passing you Sara in the process as he got up, looking through the shattered window from a fight he had with a guy on the block that went too far.

Looking through the peephole he was blindsided by the sight of his mom and her boyfriend, telling you to stay inside before closing the door softly.

“What I can’t come inside?” He tucked his hands in his pockets, not in the mood for any shit as he shook his head staring blankly at the woman who made him.

“Not with him you ain’t. When’s break up number seven, next week?” She rolled her eyes in response but still smiling softly, her boyfriend on the other hand already on edge. They’d never gotten along and they never will, Marshall still blamed him for being the reason his ma got into drugs. 

“My little rabbit, so full of testosterone. I just came to bring Ellie and Sara their presents, is that so bad?” If she stole them yeah it was, he had enough shit going on here he didn’t want to add more to the list. Instead of arguing with her, he grabbed the bag from her hand, checking the gifts for any pricetags or names on them but not finding anything.

“I told you I’m better now.” She looked back at her boyfriend who was staring off into the distance, kicking rocks and broken pieces of glass around.

Peaking through the window, you saw her taking a seat on the step. Glancing down at Sara who was falling asleep against your chest, you quickly but quietly put her down in her crib before swinging the door open, scaring her up from the wooden step, causing her to drop her cigarette in the process.

“I have two sleeping girls in here so if you are here to start shit, respectfully, please leave. I-“

“I’m handling it aight? Go back inside.” You shot daggers at Marshall before ignoring his request and coming out the door with your hands at your hips unimpressed at her bold attempt to think she could reconcile.

“Y/N, I was just bringing them their gifts, that’s it.”

“What nearly two months past?” She knew there was no getting on your good side after everything that happened when you were pregnant with Sara.

Marshall wanted to hear his mother out but at the same time was stuck between a rock and a hard place. He hadn’t forgotten about her actions and would never forgive her for that but he just wanted to keep the peace for right now. He held his ground asking her to leave once more when no further words were exchanged between you, that was when her boyfriend Carl stepped in, as if he were in a position too.

“Look, don’t act like you two are perfect people or perfect parents. People fuck up, who would no more about fuck ups than you Marshall right? That’s why your kid’s such a fuckin spoiled brat, why you living in a broke down trailer and workin the block right?” Marshall didn’t notice your questioning expression, instead pushing past his mom and grasping at his hoodie, tackling him to the ground before throwing a ruthless punch. Carl missing the second hit and slapping him across the face. You and his mom rushed over to break up the fight but they were stronger than both of you put together.

The low life, waste of space grasped at Marshall’s collar both of them grunting and yelling before he pushed him through the door, Marshall’s back hitting the old, raggedy carpet jolting your kids awake.

“Get off of him!” You yanked at Carl’s collar and his natural response regardless of you gender was to swing back at you, only for that to be the tipping point of Marshall playing nice.

He forced his head up nudging into Carl’s forehead roughly before taking back control, straddling his mother’s boyfriend and punching into his face relentlessly.

“Don’t you ever lay a hand on my fucking girl!” Finally pulling Marshall off of him, Carl stood up hastily, grasping his jaw and wiping at the blood on his face.

“C’mon, let’s go..” Carl didn’t move still shooting daggers at Marshall as his heavy ragged breaths  and bloody nosy made it obvious who won this fight.  With eyebrows raised and crossing your arms, irritation set in as you were exactly right somehow, someway this would turn into trouble, it always has when it came to those two.

“Whatever, enjoy your fuckin miserable life with your two bastards and whore of a girlfriend. I’m sure she’d let me tap that anytime, isn’t that right sweetheart?” He winked at you, Marshall jolting forward to hit him again but your hands rested on his shoulder pulling him back to reality.

“This isn’t worth it, he isn’t worth it baby..” The elephant in the room became obvious to his mother, knowing that now it was best to leave. Nothing was improving and Carl was trying to be a better man but all her little rabbit did was antagonize him in her eyes.

When they finally left and the door closed, the screen fell off the hinge, yet another thing to repair, just what you needed.

Marshall was hit with a wave of emotions when he saw his little girl cowering under the table, tears rushing down her heated cheeks while she covered her ears from the fighting.

He got down to her level on his hands and knees, softening his facial features to ensure her he meant no harm and the fighting was done.

“Baby c’mere. They’re gone, it’s alright, it’s okay.” Her little bottom lip quivered, her body shaking from the frightening scene. Her daddy was scary when he was mad but he’d never, ever lay a hand on her. After a moment she slowly crawled over to him, grasping at his shirt while she continued to weep into the crook of his neck.

You rushed to a screaming and crying Sara, cradling her close to your chest while your hand rubbed soothing, delicate circles into her little back, cooing endless reassurances that her mommy was here and everything was okay now.

You and Marshall exchanged a look of grief and sorrow mixed with a hint of aggravation that it was the same old shit on a different day. Were your girls ever going to grow up without the chaos and the hurdles life seemed to hit you with repeatedly.

This wasn’t the right time to discuss your relationship problems at the moment, instead setting the bullshit aside and focusing on your girls.

After getting them settled, Marshall walked to the corner store, picking up some dino nuggets and orange juice for their dinner, finally getting them to relax.

Once Ellie was occupied nearly crashing on the couch, you noticed Marshall still sitting at the kitchen table with his headphones on and a paper and pen in hand, you couldn’t help but let your mind wander about the money situation, how was he bringing it in without a job? Carl’s comment lingered in your mind but you took what the guy said with a grain of salt. No. It had to be something else.

Where was it coming from? Granted earlier in the day you were determined to leave the conversation alone, but it needed to be had soon.

Picking Ellie up carefully, you placed her in the bed in your room, still nervous about allowing her to sleep in her own room since her belongings were stolen.

As you passed by him with her tired head resting on your shoulder, you tapped him on the shoulder jolting him from his thoughts. You simply nodded toward the bedroom, indicating you were gonna try to get some shut eye since you had a double tomorrow due to work being slow and not needing you today.

A few hours later he waited until you were asleep, getting off the mattress lightly to not wake you or Ellie, kissing her on the head caringly before heading outside to the car. Checking his surroundings, he huffed grabbing the shiny black object Charles lent him from the glovebox.

Looking around once more, he tucked it into the pocket of his hoodie. He stayed in the drivers seat lighting a cigarette as his hands were shaking from how long he’d gone without any drugs.

Grasping the baggie, he stared at the white powder in the streetlight shining through the windshield, the glow of it’s threatening presence merely urging him to do it right here right now.

Opening it up, he spread the thin powder into a line on the center console, reverting to a old receipt on the floorboard as a way to snort it, he didn’t wanna risk getting it on the cash he was going to give the landlord.

The instant rush of euphoria and energy taking him by surprise, leaving him nearly breathless.

He found himself just starinf blanklessly out the windshield, watching a stray cat run across the street before shaking his head and going back inside before you woke up and wondered where he was.

Before he layed back down, he hid the gun underneath the mattress before resorting back to the table after finding it difficult to even think about sleeping with the new found surge of energy.

[sooniebby]

Bro I feel as if Ushijima would have a size kink and probably a choking kink🤭 like after he wins a match he just wrecks reader after🫡 but he would praise us so much for helping him win and maybe reader is just the sweet manager💕

Maybe just a Drabble or something similar would be nice! You can change something’s to make it easier to write Sonnie💕

ఌ 𝐔𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐉𝐈𝐌𝐀 𝐖𝐀𝐊𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐒𝐇𝐈

꧁ 𝙒𝙖𝙠𝙖𝙩𝙤𝙨𝙝𝙞 𝙭 𝙢𝙖𝙡𝙚 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧 ꧂

Smut 𝘿𝙧𝙖𝙗𝙗𝙡𝙚! ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ-

One hand lightly holding your throat while the other held you up by with ease. Your legs wrapped tightly around him as you cried out at each harsh thrust. You wanted to look away but with his hand on your throat, you were forced to look right at him.

Despite having just won a game, Ushijima had no problem fucking you without getting tired. Your cock was leaking dejectedly, having already cummed twice by now. Ushijima moved the hand holding your throat to fix your glasses that had been falling due to the constant harsh thrusts.

“Ushiii…” you whimpered. “Cum already! It hurts!”

“If it hurts, why are you hard still?”

He wasn’t wrong. You were still hard and with your legs still wrapped around him, you didn’t exactly show what you were saying. Ushijima was always a bit… horny, ever since you had jokingly called yourself his good luck charm whenever his team won a game.

This was simply his way of rewarding you. The constant pressure against your prostate was becoming unbearable. But the feeling of him inside of you, a much larger man that toward over you, was incredibly sexy.

Ushijima moved his hand back to your throat to hold you closer against the wall. His eyes focused solely on how his hand almost covered the entirety of your throat. He never really choked you but it was always fun to play with the idea.

What he really liked was how he could always manhandle you into any position he wanted.

You cried out when Ushijima applied a little bit of pressure to your throat. The farthest he ever goes. He did have a little fear on choking you by accident. But it always made you hornier at how much power he had over you.

“Ushi, inside…” you grunted, enjoying the struggle you had to say those two words.

Ushijima hummed, removing his hand as he grabbed your waist with both and began to pick up his thrusting. His thrusts whenever he wanted to reach his orgasm was always harsh and unforgiving.

He used you as if you were a toy, not caring if you cried out about overstimulation. You were his toy to dump his cum in. The sounds of skin slapping together, your moans, and paired with his low grunts filled the storage room you two occupied.

You pulled him close for a kiss, in a way to muffle your moans just in case someone passed by. Sex in which you could get caught wasn’t exactly your thing but it was surprisingly Ushijima’s.

Something about showing off his lucky charm to people who could only dream of fucking you.

With one last sharp thrust, Ushijima pulled away from the kiss and held you close as he cummed inside of you. You cried out at the hot cum filling you deep inside, knowing Ushijima always liked how loud you got when he cummed inside.

A chaste kiss was pressed on your lips as Ushijima gently fixed your glasses.

“You’re coming to the next game?”

Of course you were, you were the manager of the club but you quickly nodded a yes, giving him a kiss on the lips.

Ushijima couldn’t play a game without his favorite lucky charm!

ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ-

You’re idea is so good, I think I might write a full on fic for it another time 🤭

First ever Drabble tho! Drabbles will be in 2nd person!

Tag list: @mello-life69 @chill-guy-but-cooler @kiiyoooo @the-ultimate-librarian

[aanxiousangel]

I'm always dying for more asl bros content pretty please *sparkly dog eyes*

ᴊᴇᴀʟᴏᴜꜱʏ, ᴊᴇᴀʟᴏᴜꜱʏ~

anˏˋ°•*⁀➷ ANONNNNN YOU READ MY MIND AND STOLE MY HEART goshhhhh i love asl bros I COULD CRY <3 its a little unedited tho fml :') ((and if its not obvious ace is my BABYYYY)) wcˏˋ°•*⁀➷ 2965 total cwˏˋ°•*⁀➷ jealousy, y/n smacks tf out of ace, y/n is kinda fuckin drunk..., cheesy shit

Portgas D Ace

Fire Fist Ace. Loved by many, loved even more by women on the islands. You decided to join him in sailing, tired of being stuck on that island. Sure, you saw Ace as a brother for a long, long time. But…it was inevitable. You hit puberty and suddenly, it wasn’t some sibling bond. It was nothing but blood, sweat, and tears to fight off the emotions.

I mean… Come on. He was tall and fucking hot. Literally. You lost count of how many times he almost burned you when he was still learning how to control his devil fruit powers. In turn, you poured ice cold water on him as some sort of punishment. He wasn’t happy in the slightest.

Eventually, you two grew into some fine young adults. And I mean fine as hell. Pirates swooned over you left and right until they saw Ace constantly by your side. Despite them catching somewhat of a memo, the fangirls did not.

Women flocked to the ebony-haired beauty with ease, practically dogpiling upon seeing him to get to him. Often enough, it earned him a free round of drinks and food in an attempt to catch his attention. It made your skin crawl constantly.

And while he definitely seemed like a flirt, he couldn’t care less. He did enjoy the food and liquor though. He was just so oblivious to you glaring daggers from the bar.

Little to your knowledge, Ace purposely scared men off by your side, throwing evil glares or quite literally spitting fireballs at them. Like your own personal guard dog.

One night, you’d had one too many and you couldn’t help but get irritated. You paid your tab, not giving Ace and his groupies a second glance as you stormed out. It took the drunken sailor a moment, not thinking it was you storming out at first. But the second he caught a whiff of your sweetened scent, he jumped the table, darting out after you.

Hell, you were already halfway to the ship when he spotted you. Have you ever seen a man run so fast in heavy ass boots?! Fuck no. But his impending steps scared the shit out of you. You drew your katana, spinning around to meet Ace’s neck with the blade.

He could see the fear in your eyes until your brain registered it was him. There was a moment where your gaze softened, but quickly turned sour. It made his heart ache. You never gave him that look.

“Why did you leave? The party wasn’t over!” Ace rasped, still catching his breath as you sheathed the sharp blade.

“Go back, Ace,” you snapped, a slight slur between your words.

“C’mon, Y/N, come back with me,” he pouted, knowing it made you weak. His damned puppy-pleading eyes and lip quiver always had you giving in.

“No,” you snapped, turning on your heel to continue going home.

“What the fuck?” Ace fell into step alongside you, staring in disbelief. “You actually just… Y/N! What did I do?”

“Nothing, Ace! Go party with your fanclub,” you huffed out, running a hand through your grimey hair. Gods, you were beginning to sweat just from anger.

“Wait, fanclub? Those chicks? Is that why you’re so pissy?” His voice had risen, as if he had a right to be upset with you. You just wanted to get out of there.

“Pissy?!” You half-laughed half-scoffed, stopping dead in your tracks.

“Yeah! Pissy! You’re bein’ childish!” He mocked your exasperated tone.

“Oh, because you can talk!” A sarcastic laugh escaped you as you pinched the bridge of your nose.

Ace sucked his teeth, “Don’t be a bitch, Y/N.”

Before you could think about your actions, your palm was stinging and his jaw was slack with shock. Neither of you were exactly coordinated at the moment so it was his jawbone catching most of the impact. His hand carefully cupped the stinging sensation, his jaw moving side to side.

“Fuck,” you whispered, staring at him all doe-eyed. “A-Ace, I’m so sorry. I-I…”

“You really pack a fuckin’ punch,” he chuckled, not meeting your eyes.

“I swear it won’t happen…again…” You watched as he took a deep breath, looking up at the sky.

“Stop bottlin’ shit up. That’s exactly what happens. You fucking blow up,” Ace’s voice held no anger, no malice, nothing. He sounded almost like a parent scolding their child.

“I’m going back to the ship.” You whispered, stepping back.

Ace’s fingers wrapped around your wrist, yanking you into him. Nausea hit as you stumbled into his chest. You couldn’t even warn him before it spewed from your mouth, eyes watering as you choked.

“Ew! Y/N!” Ace whined, quickly jumping back.

“You throw a drunk person–” Another wave hit you, forcing you to vomit on the stone road, “And you expect them not to vomit?”

“You stink,” Ace shuddered, stepping back.

“Obviously,” you sobered up, standing up carefully. There was a bit of vomit in your hair making you cringe. “I need a shower.”

“Shit, now I do too,” he whined again, freaking out that a drop of vomit splattered on his leg.

You rolled your eyes, “Could have one of your maidens clean you up.”

Ace frowned at you, “Come on! I thought ya dropped this whole chick thing!”

“Whatever, Ace,” you walked up the gangway, leaving him on the edge of the docks.

You didn’t hear his heavy boots following behind anymore. It twisted your stomach into knots as you walked through the empty ship, finding your way to the bathroom. Your hands weakly worked the nozzles to turn the water warm, eyes still unfocused from the amount of sake you downed to forget the image of him. Specifically the women flanking his sides, shoving alcohol and food down his throat. Somehow, not their tongues.

Steam fogged the bathroom as you undressed, a little wobbly on your feet. Puking was definitely your least favorite thing to do after a party. The door swung open as you worked the buttons on your shorts, a sharp scream escaping you.

“Tell me what the hell I did,” Ace shut the door behind him, hands on his hips like a sassy woman.

“Ace! Get out!” You covered your breasts immediately.

“Tell me what’s got a stick up your ass!” He wasn’t even focused on your tits. Just the fact that he couldn’t understand why you were genuinely angry at him.

“I’m naked, asshole!” You felt dizzy, heavily embarrassed by his intrusion.

“I have boobs too!” Ace motioned to his muscles, clearly not giving a shit how you were freaking out.

“Those are pecs!? Are you dumb?!” You tried shoving him towards the door, but he wasn’t budging.

“Same shit. Now talk,” his boot tapped impatiently as he pouted.

“Oh, my god! Turn around!” You whined, needing to get in the water while it was still hot.

Ace rolled his eyes, turning around. You shoved the rest of your clothes off, almost eating shit as you hid behind the shower curtain, soaked with water. He glanced back, seeing your shadow against the opaque drape.

“Start explainin’.” He moved to sit on the countertop, leaning back against the wall.

“It’s not a big fuckin’ deal, Ace.” You thoroughly washed your hair, the massage making your eyes roll back. Fuck, how long had it been since you felt this clean?

“It is to me, Y/N. That should mean somethin’ to you.” He muttered. Maybe you were hearing things, but he sounded hurt.

“It just gets on my nerves to see women obsess over you.” You stated, closing your eyes as the water drained the bubbles from your locks.

“Someone’s jealous.” His smirk was evident in his voice.

You stayed silent. It wasn’t easy to lie to him. Nor did you want to confirm his suspicions.

“Y/N?”

Nope. Not doing it.

“Y/N.”

You were planning on staying silent but he yanked open the curtain, half worried that you’d magically died in the shower. He let out a sigh of relief when you shrieked, smacking his hand away to pull the curtain back into place.

“Pervert!”

“Am not!”

“Are too!”

“I thought you dropped dead, idiot!”

“Are you dense?!”

Ace pursed his lips, staring at your eyes. What did he do wrong? Obviously, opening the shower might’ve been was wrong. But the anger. You were so angry with him… It actually hurt his feelings. Poor baby.

“Ace, why are you so stuck on this?”

“I don’t want you to be mad at me.”

And there goes your heart. It ached at his words. If you weren’t soaking wet and bare, you would’ve hugged him. So, you did the next best thing you could think of. You told him the truth.

“You’re an idiot.” You sighed, pinching the bridge of your nose. A habit when you were giving in to whatever he wanted.

“Ouch. Hurtful,” Ace crossed his arms.

“No, not because of that. You’re so fucking blind, Ace. I’m…fuck. I like you! So, yes, I get upset when women are touching you, getting all of your attention. You flirt with them in front of my face. It hurts. You always do that shit.”

Ace’s poor face. His jaw slacked, staring at you. He was stuck on those three words. Was he seriously that drunk..? Was he starting to hallucinate? Had to be. Not…not you, right? How could he be so blind? He was a god at reading women, so, why not you? Right up until this point, he assumed you still saw him as your older brother.

“Earth to Ace?” Your hand waved in front of his face.

“You like me…” He exhaled, not realizing he stopped breathing for a few seconds.

“Yeah, kinda just said that.” You yanked the shower curtain closed to finish up.

“You like me!” Ace yanked it back open.

“Stop that!” You tried fighting his strength without ripping the thin plastic.

“Hell no!” Ace jumped into the shower, almost falling over as he cupped your face. “You fucking like me?! Since when?”

“Sh-ince–” He squished your face too much, making it hard for you to speak clearly. “Ace!”

“Sorry.” He retracted his hands, resting them on his hat.

“Since we were kids, dumbass,” you rubbed your cheeks softly.

“I’m so stupid,” Ace breathed.

“You are,” you went to turn back to your shower, but he was quicker.

The tiles were ice cold against your back. The warmth of his lips made up for it though. He pulled back, looking down at you.

“You taste like vomit.”

“Ace!”

Flame Emperor Sabo

The stars twinkled against the midnight sky. You poor thing, drinking away your feelings. It almost became a monthly ritual. You’d sneak off in the dark with a heavy bottle of sake and sit on the shore’s edge. Water rippled around your toes, leaving icy kisses against your skin.

It wasn’t that you enjoyed being drunk out of your mind. It just took the edge off most times. You actually kind of hated the burn. The flavor wasn’t too great. Flavor… Huh, your mind lingered on wondering what Sabo tasted like. Just one little kiss. Wouldn’t that be something…

This was the first night you finished a whole bottle so you weren’t coherent whatsoever. You didn’t catch the footsteps walking up behind you or his voice softly calling your name. Not until his hand rested on your shoulder did you look over and see him.

His blond curls and black attire made you smile lopsidedly. You thought that you were just starting to see things from your inebriated state. Fuck, how strong was that liquor?

“You look like Sabo,” a giggle escaped you followed by a hiccup.

“I would think so,” he chuckled softly, sitting next to you. “Why are you out here?”

“I don’t know,” you turn your gaze back up to the stars.

“Are you sure about that?” Sabo hummed, gazing up at the sky.

“It’s dumb,” you snort, rubbing your heavy eyes.

“Tell me. I’m a great listener, you know,” he chuckled.

“I just really like him. No…I love him.” You sigh, your eyes growing heavy. You desperately try to fight it off, but it’s getting harder by the second. “But he doesn’t feel the same. So, I drink to force it all out. Or push it down. However it works. It’s a thing now. My thing. I don’t know how you found me.”

“Who?” His voice cracked, his eyes moving to glance at you subtly.

“Sabo.” Now it’s your own voice’s turn to crack. “He’s so sweet, so passionate. He doesn’t have time for a relationship though…”

He stays silent. Did he hear you right? Were you even sure? He could see the bottle was empty. There was no way you were all the way there. You must’ve been drunk out of your mind.

“See? ‘S dumb,” you mumble tiredly. “Just…don’t tell him I told you.”

“I won’t.” He watched your eyes slowly close, your body letting the waves lull you asleep. “I promise.”

Sabo scooped you up, bringing you back to the ship. He made a B-line for his quarters, tucking you into his bed. Out of respect, he wasn’t going to sleep with you. He couldn’t. But…your hand latched onto him tightly, brows furrowed in your sleep. Sabo tried to tug your hand from his coat but fuck, were you strong.

Sabo sighed and slid in beside you, holding you close. “I love you, too, Y/N.”

“I know,” you mumbled drunkenly against his chest, feeling his body tense up against you.

Monkey D Luffy

Oh, sweet Luffy. Such innocence in this strong fighter. It was laughable really. You could absolutely do anything and he wouldn’t bat an eye. Wouldn’t dare second-guess that you were just being you. After all, you two grew up together. Well, you four. But you followed Luffy on his adventure, some sort of instinct to protect this naive kid.

You were really into him. The whole crew could see it from miles away. Nami and Franky always teased you about it. Hell, even Sanji teased you. He tried giving you love advice, but you’d give him a pointed look and he would roll his eyes.

“You don’t have to look at me like that.”

You raised an eyebrow.

“Alright! Alright! Tch. I know.”

You’d bring Luffy snacks while he was busy doing things around the ship–if he wasn’t already scavenging the fridge. Or force his stinky self to bathe. He’d scream halfway across the ship, telling the crew you were kidnapping him. Robin would tease that you were like his mother which you’d shiver in disgust.

“So, you enjoy being a parent?”

“What?”

“You’re like his mom.”

“Ew… That feels so wrong.”

One Sunday evening, Luffy came creeping into your room. He watched you carefully, extremely confused. You looked up from your book, raising your eyebrow as he flinched.

“What’s wrong, Luffy?”

“Bath.”

“Is it broken?” You get up, leaving your book on the bed.

“No. You didn’t make me take one.”

You stared at him for a moment before bursting into laughter. “Um, no, I didn’t.”

“Why?” He tilted his head and it made you smile.

“I’m not your mom,” you shrug softly, rubbing your arm awkwardly.

“So?” Luffy, still confused, went over and started tugging you along. “I know you’re not.”

“Where we goin’?” You raised your eyebrow.

“Bath.” He made it sound so obvious.

“You want a bath?” Your hand flew up to your mouth to stop your laughter.

Luffy stepped into the bathroom, pointing at the tub. “No… Yes… I don’t know.”

You started the water, plugging up the drain. He watched you, pouting. Why’d you stop fighting him? Was he being too annoying? His chest felt funny as he stared at you.

“Why aren’t you making me take one?” He asked again, poking your side.

“I figured you didn’t want it.”

You weren’t just going to up and tell him Robin’s comment made you feel strange and distant. You didn’t want him seeing you as his mother. Not when you had feelings for him.

“You’re lying. Your nose moved.”

“What?”

“Your nose. It did that thing when you lied.”

Your face went red, looking away from him. You shut the water off and nodded at it.

“Get in.” You glanced at him.

“No. Why are you lying? We don’t lie to each other.”

Luffy was right. You two didn’t lie to each other. It was just something that stuck all throughout the years. You sighed softly, dropping your head between your hands.

“I know and I’m sorry. But I can’t tell you.”

“That’s the same thing as lying.”

“Luffy, get in the damn tub.”

“Hey! Don’t be mean!” Luffy whined.

“Sorry, sorry, I’m sorry,” you rubbed your face, looking up at him. Dammit. He was adorable. Cute. Really fucking attractive. Especially when he wore his shirt open… Crap. “Luffy, I love you.”

“I love you too,” Luffy tilted his head again. “What’s wrong?”

“No, like, I love love you.” You mumbled.

“What do you mean?” He sat in front of you, forcing you to look at him.

“Like… I have a crush on you, dummy. I love you. In love,” You bit your inner cheek, nervously tapping your heel on the floor.

“And…you didn’t want to make me take a bath because you love love me?” Luffy got up, taking his clothes off.

You looked away until you could hear the water splashing, “It’s not going to make sense.”

“Oh, well,” Luffy laid in the water. Before the effects could fully weaken him, he yanked you into the tub with him. “I think I love love you too.”

“Asshole!” You sputtered, looking up at him now drenched.

Luffy grinned, puckering his lips. Maybe he wasn’t so naive.

[wishmaster]

Hi Billy. I heard you're tired of frat Bros, how about a wish from a chubby pan guy into a cuddles loving dumb himbo pet? Just enough fat and muscle to be nice to fuck or snuggle and stress free because head empty...

Twist to your liking... but I do want big pecs and booty and nothing in brain power...dumb horny pet boy.

Billy, Billy! you come yelling at me dude, your body changing as you run towards me, you life altering via your insta posts.

Your fat adjusts, moving into your pecs and ass, the first pics of your changes then, flash

Thicker in all the right places, your serious looking face soon becomes blank, puppy dog eyes come into view. bam

Fuck man you look amazing, soon all your focus is on me.

You'll live and die by your new thicker self, All you wish to do now is please me. You rarely leave my side, you only wish is we always cuddle, like my needy gorgeous puppy dog and as hard as I might try I can never say no to you. Hell I never even did as your name.

Your clothes barely fit, it's ok you won't be in much anyway, enjoy your new life as my Max, who's a good boy? Growing more everyday!! And with a head as empty as your shirt drawer. You only obey me, the head of this sexy twisted Mansion. Who knows may we'll get you some skin tight clothing one day show off your sexy thick body.

[tanoraqui]

Dungeon Meshi Liveblog: Let's Eat!

(That is, let's live, want, connect... oh, you know what I mean by now)

I like how Yaad and the other living villagers can casually talk with the ghosts, because for all intents and purposes they were also ghosts... In fact, those who stayed and spent centuries going through the patterns of life even though all true meaning had been lost long ago were MORE "ghosts" than those who lost their corporeal forms because they wanted to escape so badly that they went wandering... That's so fuckin' good. I wanna eat this writing.

.

Kabru just randomly walking out of the bushes the second Laios starts considering politics...love him. He was summoned. His PR spidey senses were going off.

.

look at my boy, establishing his own authority.

.

Lol this was me when we moved house last month, and my job was to just stand in the new living room and tell people where to put which box or piece of furniture. It's an important job in a task with a lot of people!

.

FUCK YEAH, THAT'S MY MAN! HE LOOKS GREAT!

.

fucking love the trope of "one savvy friend in the crowd who deliberately gets a supportive chant going." Of course it's Kabru.

Though it's important to note that the first thing someone called was, "The demon-eater's here!", and there was muttering while no one was entirely sure if that was a good thing or not... Kabru didn't start the rumble of the crowd; the rumble of the crowd is unavoidable, and you have to be aware of that. Laios has always been aware of that, he's just never known what to do about it, and so tried to avoid it. But he's not avoiding it anymore - so Kabru started the hype of the crowd.

.

They're both right! In order to eat, you need to kill! A memento of a meal IS a spoil of war!

.

They're unhappy bros... /laughing

.

Shown: man desperately reassuring himself, and psyching himself up to eat this stupid dragon meat

.

DADCHUCK. Istg my father has said the same thing to me.

p.s. oh thank god he's fully dressed again. it was indecent.

.

Marcille is so resigned to this, and so...determined to see it as her own choice. "We all agreed", "I've got to go" - and I'm sure she does see it as her own choice, in a way, because this is how the world has always worked and she knows that. She knew that going in. Those who do ancient magic are arrested by the Elves of the West, that's just the "natural" consequence. She might've gotten away with it if she'd gone undiscovered, or if she'd stayed in the dungeon forever, but she didn't - she chose to pursue her craft, to save Falin, and to do everything after that, too, and so she implicitly chose the consequence with it. If it's unfair, well, thinking that changes nothing, so it's better not to think it.

Until Laios is like, "Actually, I might have political power now? And I'm SO goddamn tired of myself and people I love being punished just for being different, and interested in unconventional things. Let's try something."

.

WELL-FUCKING-PLAYED! GET THEIR ASSES, LAIOS! It's especially great because I'm pretty sure he knows the answers to all of this by now? Power move!

.

Is she sitting there completely nude except for jewelry and a short robe. Icons only, honestly. Though "we have the luxury of time" feels like so much of a threat from an elf.

.

Hey, you did objectively defeat him! Okay arguably the Lion did but Laios did it first, he just also then talked to him, and got grabbed by friendly vine-tentacles. You didn't kill him, but that's not what Delgal asked for anyway!

.

thinking about that post that observed that Thistle's driving madness was specifically getting Delgal home for dinner, to eat all together as a family again, and he wakes up to the sound of the people of the Golden Kingdom eagerly inviting the (new) king to eat, and him responding...crying... What is lost is lost, but life will go on.

.

The moment when a character decides to lie to another character for their own good is always so compelling. The little moral quandary microcosm.

.

So Yaad did know something of what passed between Delgal and Thistle, that drove Thistle down the path to dark magic. He know what it was his grandfather blamed himself for.

This is SUCH A GOOD AND QUIET-SAD DEATH SCENE, but as a consummate fan of 'actually, living is much much harder than dying, and much more interesting too', I do like to think Thistle lives and has to...figure out what to do with his life. And that 'what to do with his life' ends up including ancient magic mad science with Marcille.

...But honestly, even though that'd be fun for me, it seems almost cruel to Thistle. He's been alive for so long. Those he loved most are gone. He held the demon back from the surface, trapped in those books, for so long, even if it was in no way whatsoever with the good of the world in mind. If anyone deserves this peaceful death in (what he thinks are) his brother's forgiving arms, it's him.

.

Unfortunately, my love, as has been ceaselessly proven in this story: that's life.

.

Marcille has caught onto one of the major themes! However, this story still isn't in favor of afternoon special Moral of the Story - not of letting the characters wrap things up with a bow, at least. You just go on living and wanting and learning about and connecting with and killing new things, forever! That's how it goes! You never know everything and you're always a little bit starving!

.

I really love this grumpy old man, and I want him to stick around and be one of Laios's advisors. He's an old gnome, he'll die as soon as an average tallman would anyway.

.

This is a) very touching coming from Mithrun, who is only just regaining his own will to live, and b) almost tautalogical in this story EXCEPT that it is also clear that merely "wanting" doesn't mean you get to continue to live, it only means that you're alive in this moment - you also need to want to live MORE than whatever's trying to kill you wants to live.

.

GREAT VISUALS!

.

And then it's so small, so small that she could leave it behind entirely but Falin is still so kind that she picks it up anyway! Falin who looks at everyone and everything - ghosts and brothers and mad mages and dead dragons, the latter of whom were both violently oppressing her soul - and thinkgs "I gotta help." She's so good!

I'm really going to need to write a like 2k post-canon character study about how Falin has part of the spirit of a dragon in her chest which unfurls while she travels abroad and curls up again and hides when she's home with Marcille and especially with Laios, and how it's a metaphor for her own independence but also literally there is the spirit of a dragon. At the end of it she figures out how to nurture and commune with the dragon enough to have her own flight-capable wings.

.

THIS IS SO FUCKING COOL-LOOKING. AUTOPHAGIC SELF-CREATION FOR THE FUCKING WIN!!

.

YYEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

.

fuck it, have a collage, because this bitch-ass website is about to cut off my photos-per-post. It can't HANDLE the sheet joy of Falin resurrection reunion hugs!!

.

so many people love her, or at least are really emotionally invested in this now!! /sobs

.

Lmaoooo

Laios: wracked with food poisoning because he ate raw walking mushroom Falin: great distress! Marcille: trying very hard to help, also thinking sooo hard that He Is An Idiot. [btw I love how it looks like she takes up holding her hair back with a band] Kabru: having his weekly moment, as he has for the past many years and will continue to have until he dies, of wondering if he shouldn't really have just killed this guy rather than let him become king

Kabru definitely wrote this whole ending narration btw. This is his press release from like 40 years in the future. And those kids! An orc kid and a kobold kid, and zooming out to show kids of other races, all playing together and going to lunch together!!

And then they all lived, and hungered and ate and killed and wanted and sought understanding and connected with one another and were part of the great circle of life, as happily ever after as one can get.

This story truly was delicious...in dungeon!

[kidstemplatte]

papas reacting to fnaf

this is so silly but i’m a diehard fnaf fan. also i started thinking about the parallels between the afton and emeritus family and got rlly emotional LMAO. please enjoy teehee

primo

-you’re sitting at your computer, losing your fucking mind. why is night 4 so hard???

“let me try.” he says.

-you know he won’t get far, bless his heart, but you’ll let him give it a shot.

-little do you know, he’s an absolute BEAST

-he takes a seat at your desk and starts clicking.

so i… stop them?”

“yeah. just don’t let them get into the office.”

“the power’s going down.”

“yeah, when you use the cameras, turn on the lights, or use the doors, it’ll go down. then it’s game over.”

he nods.

-he’s weirdly quiet, clicking away, until you suddenly hear the joyous chimes indicating he’s survived until 6 am.

“is that all?” he goes.

-your mouth is literally agape, you’re in shock.

-it doesn’t scare him at all

-he starts playing the game at his office whenever he needs a break. doesn’t flinch.

-lowkey sheds a tear at henry’s speech.

-he doesn’t like security breach, he prefers the repetitiveness of the old games

-he takes the lore very seriously, like it’s a piece of fine literature LOL

-the story of the afton family is heartbreaking to him and he relates to it a tad </3

-his favorite game is the OG and his favorite character is freddy. he’s a simple man.

secondo

-“this is stupid. what am i supposed to- FUCK! SATANAS! STAI INDIETRO, CREATURA DISGOSTA!”

-he clears his throat.

“i was caught off guard.”

-he doesn’t want to watch the lore videos at first because he thinks it’s “childish” but soon is sucked in.

-watches the lore videos with you and is specifically fascinated with william aftons character.

-he likes kids so he’s immediately disgusted by the cruelty of his actions

-he makes it his life’s mission to unpack the psychology of william afton

-his favorite is fnaf 4, he likes the nightmare designs

-HATES BALLOON BOY. wants to punch him in the face.

-he’s not very good at the games and curses so loudly when he plays because he’s so determined to make it through the night 😭

terzo

-“five nights at freddy’s? why are you spending the night with freddy and not me?”😏

-terzo hates mascots so he’s already scared shitless.

-when he plays the game he talks to himself like a maniac.

“no. stay, bunny. do not move. you too, bear. WHERE DID THE CHICKEN COME FROM? no, let’s NOT eat- eat by yourself, chicken!”

-loses his mind at the jumpscares, screams like a little girl.

-but he’s so interested in the complexity of the lore

-terzo goes down internet rabbit holes late at night LMAO so he’s more than willing to watch lore videos with you

-bro had to do a double take when he saw toy chica💀

-“purple man? he has good taste, no?”

immediately takes it back when he finds out what his deal is

-hums the theme song while he’s at work.

-his favorite game is fnaf 2 (and it has nothing to do with toy chica)

copia

-take a shot every time i say this on my account:

copia is a big fat dork.

(but we all are too, and we love him for it)

-he doesn’t understand it’s scary at first. aww, look at the bear! clicks freddy’s nose on the poster over and over. “boing! boing! boing! boing! boing!”

-but as soon as he checks the cameras he’s like OH. i see what this is.

-he gets so stressed playing the game LMAO

-when you introduce him to the lore he’s so fascinated and deeply invested. it rattles his brain but he can’t get enough.

-the next morning after you watch a video with him he has deep eye bags. you find out he stayed up all night watching lore videos.

-soon he’s a diehard fan. he keeps merch in his office beside his comics and other collectibles.

-his favorite game is pizzeria simulator because he loves the non-scary part 😭

-he loves foxy because he’s “misunderstood”🥺

-and mangle, thinks it’s sad how the kids took her apart and put her back together :,(

-has all the plushies LOL

[thirstytrashblogger]

Allan x Reader Meetcute Oneshot Adventure

A/N: God gave me the power to write and weed so I’m making stuff. 

Summary: A Allan Adventure redone scene so he can avoid that long-ass day. Really half of this is just the transcript from wiki but I had fun with it. 

Warnings: Mentions of quitting smoking, Smiling Friends shenanigans

___________________

Allan had stepped into the local Office Crap in search of some paper clips. He speaks to an employee with six arms who was stocking shelves to quickly ask where he could find the paper clips. 

Allan: Um, excuse me.

Armzo: [interrupting Allan] Wait, wait, wait, hold on man, I'm do- I'm in the middle of something here.

Allan walks up to Armzo while he continues to stack cans.

Allan: I just need some help.

Armzo: I'm warning you right now dude, keep screwing around and bad shit’s gonna happen, man.

Allan scowls at the rude attitude. 

Allan: You don't need to be rude.

Armzo angrily puts his cans down and walks up to Allan. Tapping his foot impatiently.

Armzo: Ok, what's up man, what do you want, huh? What’s going on, what do you need, man? Don't get nervous now, man, what? Ask your-ask your question, go ahead, what?

The two talk over each other, while the armless manager in the background notices the argument.

Allan: Look, asshole, I'm just wondering if you have any-

Armzo: Asshole?!

Allan: Yeah-

Allan and Armzo: Asshole!

Allan: You-

Armzo: Did you call me an asshole?!

Allan: Yes, I did, because you're being an asshole! Why didn't you help me?

Armzo: Bro, you’re being an asshole! I'm in the middle of something right now!

Allan: Fuck you, don't you work here? I'm just a customer!

Armzo: You walk up to me and you literally just start bugging me with stupid questio-

Allan: I'm not "bugging you", I'm just asking- you- you spider, you ass-

Armzo: What do you need?! Wha-

The manager runs over.

Manager: ARMZO! Who told you to stop stacking with your six arms? He wiggles his arm stubs.

Armzo angrily continues stacking while scowling at Allan.

Allan: Sir, do you know where I can find some paperclips?

Manager: Paperclips? No, sorry. Unfortunately, we're sold out.

Allan: Sold out?

 The manager nods.

Allan: Hmm, is there somewhere else where I can get them?

Manager: Hmm, the only place that might have them is that computer repair shop over in Crimeville.

Just then another critter appeared setting down a large box that was blocking them from view.

Y/N: W-wait, boss, what do you mean sold out? I just hauled in all these crates of paper clips.

Manager: O-oh ya did?

Y/N: Yeah for like the last 2 hours I've just been hauling these crates in. You told me to, remember?

Manager: Oh yeah. I thought that was Billy's job.

Y/N: Billy didn't show up today. Only Armzo and I did and since he has six arms and I don't he got stacking. He always gets stacking. We knew we were getting a big shipment today after that last guy bought the whole stock. Look at all these crates. That’s all metal in there. Look at how short I am. I could’ve used some help.

Manager: Uh huh. Look, y/n I really don't want to get into this right now. We have a customer.

Y/n looks to see Allan turn slightly revealing his presence. They mistook him for a load bearing pole painted red. 

Y/N: Oh, didn't see you there, man. My apologies.

Allen: Um yeah. I just needed some paper clips.

Y/N: Oh yeah yeah isle 7. Just over here. 

Manager: And Armzo, if you screw up again you're going BACK TO THE PSYCH WARD!!!!

Armzo starts quickly stacking cans in fear, the manager walks away before he turns back to a smiling Allan

Armzo: Thanks, man. Thanks for getting me in trouble, two armed piece of shit.

Allan: Sure thing. Hey goodbye spider. Goodbye. Keep stacking, keep stacking. Bye bye. Bye. Goodbye.

Armzo: [at the same time] Goodbye! Bye! Bye bye! Bye bye! Bye bye! I will, I will! Bye bye!

Armzo flips off Allan with three of his arms as he leaves to follow Y/N to the paper clip aisle. 

Armzo: Get outta here man.

One of the cans fall on Armzo's head

Armzo: WOAH-

All of the cans fall on and bury Armzo.

Y/n began leading Allen to isle 7.

Y/N: Look, man I'm real sorry about my outburst back there.

Allan: Oh, it's cool.

Y/N: Like I've just had a really rough morning but I'm trying to not project that onto people. You don't need to know about all that. Anyway, here's the paper clips.

Allan: No, I don't. Thanks for the paper clips though

Y/N: Yeah man. I can ring you up when you're ready

They turned to go to the register.

“Hey” said Allen getting y/n's attention. Now walking to the register with them, paper clips secured.

Y/N: Yeah?

Allan: (he looks to read their nametag) Y/N, you were much more helpful than that other guy with the arms. 

Y/N: Oh thanks, dude. Don't worry about Armzo, he's just been super irritable since the psych ward made him quit smoking. Called me a %$^#%$&@#&$^^$@^#^$@(!^&#%@@% yesterday so i put a dead fish in his locker. Anyway, that'll be $4.39, sir.

As Allan handed them the money their hands brushed a second longer than needed. 

Y/N: And 61 cents is your change. Would you like your receipt?

Allan: Sure.

Their hands brushed again as Allan was handed his receipt and his change. Static shocking them both.

Y/N: Have a nice day, sir.  

They waved off with a smile.

Allan: Yeah. You too. I guess I'll see you around.

Y/N: See ya around.

With that, Allen turned to leave with his paper clips. Upon closer inspection of the receipt, allen noticed y/n had written down their number.

______________________

Meanwhile in Crimeville, DJ Spit waited outside of the computer repair shop for Allen to walk out with the paper clips. After waiting a while he called up the landlord who hired him.

DJ Spit: (on the phone) Hey man, I don’t think this foo is coming, holmes. 

Landlord: WHAAAT?? But he should’ve been there by Now!!!!?

DJ Spit: Uhhh yeah man, no I don’t see him nowhere around. It’s already been like a couple hours. 

Landlord: OH Woah is me! Now who will I get who is cool enough to HANG out with me and smoke weed and fill out bellies with DIET soda and play Burnout Revenge for the PS2?!

DJ Spit: you got weed man? That’s cool I remeber playing PS2 with my primos after school. 

Landlord: Hey Dj Spit, Would you like to HANG out with me and smoke weed and fill out bellies with DIET soda and play Burnout Revenge for the PS2?!

DJ Spit: Would I still get paid, man? 

Landlord: Oh ABSOLUTELY!

DJ Spit: Oh fuck yeah man, I’ll be right over. My soundcloud about to pop the fuck off with this one. Hey ya want me to bring like beers or anything while I’m out. 

Landlord: No it’s cool. I’ve got the DIET soda. I just have to make a quick call to cancel the other stuff. I might still be able to get my DEPOSIT back. I guess what I really needed wasn’t a smiling friend but a friend who would make me smile. 

DJ Spit: Uh cool, so I’ll see you in like 15. 

Landlord: HEHEHEHe cool. See you in 15, PAL!

End