#😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭FUCK

[rainbowgod666]

Ok i know this going to sound weird. But the right one looks like they lead a resistence group in the middle east

Oh hey random storytime:

My mother had a dog of a fairly unusual breed, the kind breed whose existence I hadn't even heard of before the breeder became a family friend. This specific dog was a zero brain cell masterpiece specimen, so while he was fucking stupid, he had an impressive enough pedigree that it would have been a waste to not take him into dog shows, maybe win a few prizes and have him sire pups.

Anyway, this one time we were at a smaller dog show, not really an amateur one but definitely not a huge international event. It was held outdoors on a football field(?), and not only was my mom's dog the only one of his breed in the show, they had somehow completely forgot to include him in the show's schedule. We had come all the way over here to show off a dog that didn't have a time, judges, or ring for him anywhere in the plans.

So while my mother isn't the type to Demand To Speak To The Manager when something doesn't go her way, everyone was in the agreement that the fuck-up was on the show runners' side, and they were very apologetic about such an unprofessional mistake. And they did manage to find a show ring with a slot to squeeze him in, just before the next breed was about to start.

So they made a quick announcement in the ring just before the scheduled breed was going to start, and into the ring went the breeder and mom's dog. And while they were doing their little lap, surrounded by a mostly quiet, uninterested audience, I heard some random kid's faint voice asking

What happened to that one?

And it suddenly hit me how funny this whole situation must look like with no context. Mom's dog or his whole breed were not on the printed out leaflet schedule of the show, in this specific ring or otherwise. If someone showed up now, or somehow otherwise missed the announcement (which wasn't even broadcasted in any way, just yelled out over the crowd by one guy), holy shit they would be confused.

The dog breed that was booked on that spot was samoyeds. My mother's dog was a peruvian inca orchid. Imagine being at a dog show in the right place at the right time, 100% expecting to see one of those fluffy clouds on the left, and out walks the motherfucker on the right.

[daynascullys]

how to say "I love you" in x-files [62/?] ⤷ 8.10 — “Badlaa”

[fernisfreaky]

Why do I keep thinking that Optimus, Megatron, and Ratchet from Prime were in like a throuple before the war?

BECAUSE IT'S TRUE!!!

[starkeysbabygirl]

⋆˚࿔ down for you 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

𝜗𝜚 brothers bsf!rafe cameron x reader

𝜗𝜚 your brother questions the hickies on your neck and little does he know his best friend is the one who gave it to you👀

𝜗𝜚 cw: older!rafe (only by a few years), fingering, oral (female receiving), little bit of edging, praise, degrading names, fight between rafe and readers bro

𝜗𝜚 i’m cringing rn but hope ya’ll enjoy this😭

rafe cameron was knox’s best friend since high school. your older brother made sure you were off limits to any of his friends, they all knew they couldn’t even try any shit with you. you didn’t quite understand knox’s reason for it but it never bothered you…until rafe.

it wasn’t a surprise that you formed a little crush on rafe, but because he was off limits you had to bottle up your feelings. you still never failed to catch glimpses of him when he would come over and hang out with them when knox would let you. you couldn’t even deny, rafe was absolutely good looking, just your type. one thing both you and knox didn’t know was that rafe was harboring his own feelings for you too.

it only took so many years for the two of you to confess your feelings to one another and agree to keep it a secret from knox, rafe being the one to slip first. now things have started to get a bit serious a few months into the relationship.

you were sitting on the bed when you heard the front door close. you began to wonder if knox somehow got done with hockey practice early then the panic set in thinking of the worst case scenarios like knox catching rafe at the house after he already told knox he was busy and couldn’t come over. you knew knox would question it. you jump out of bed and slightly open the bedroom door. “knox?! is that you?”

no reply, just silence. the only thing you could hear were steps ascending the stairs. “i see you pretty girl.” rafe suddenly appears, peaking through the crack. “you goin’ to let me in? or am i gonna have to force my way in hmm?” he grins.

“maybe i want you to force your way in” you giggle, making rafe smirk. instead, you open the door and throw your arms around rafe and wrap your legs around his waist. “i was waiting for you, got worried that knox came home before you could get here. i missed you rafe.”

“i missed you too doll face. we got maybe an hour tops before your brother gets home. let me take care of you, yeah?” you nod and rafe walks towards the bed and lays you down. he hovers right above you, his mouth connecting with your neck as he starts sucking and licking right under your ear. you can’t help but moan, it felt too good. you were in the moment.

“wait! rafe, be careful you know knox could see this shit and he’d kill you if he finds out it was you!” you say inbetween giggling and moaning. by the time he comes up for air, you’re left with hickies on your neck. thankfully it should be an easy fix. your hair can hide the evidence along with some makeup. you don’t even want to think about coming up with some bullshit lie to your brother.

“yeah, yeah sweetheart i know but i just can’t help myself when it comes to you. you drive me fucking wild.” rafe slides his hand down underneath the oversized tee you’re wearing, touching the wet spot on your panties. “god damn, i love when you’re soaked and ready for me like a good girl. mmm, such a slut. just for me” he pushes your panties to the side and slips a finger into your pussy, slowly inserting a second, then a third. suddenly he curls his fingers and picks up speed hitting just the right spot.

“oh. fuck. shit. rafe more, faster, please!” you whimper as rafe rams his fingers in and out of you.

“tsk tsk, you’re already close to cumming aren’t you? not yet my pathetic, desperate, little whore. you cum when i’m ready for you to cum.” rafe groans in your ear. he pulls his fingers out of your glistening cunt and puts them right into his mouth, sucking on your juices. “fuck baby, the taste of your pussy has my cock rock hard.” rafe groans and you just can’t help but stare because he just ruined your orgasm but god was he sexy.

“you taste so fucking sweet y/n, why don’t you have a taste now yeah?” rafe shoves his fingers back into your wet pussy and out and smears your arousal all over your soft lips.

“open up y/n” you waste no time and open up for him as he works his fingers in and out of your mouth.

“rafeeee, seriously?! i was so close to cumming and you just do that?! hmph!” you exhale and roll your eyes.

“did you just roll your eyes at me? now you did it doll face..well, i guess i’ll just have to eat this attitude right out of you” he picks you up from the bed and throws your back against the wall. his hands strongly grip your upper thighs close to your waist to keep you from slipping in his hold. he spreads your legs wide open so that your pussy is right in front of his face ready for him to devour. “dinner is fucking served.” he exhales then goes in for it.

“oh rafe, fuck yesss! feels s’good. oh my god!! please don’t stop!” rafe ravages your clit, licking and sucking as if his life depended on it. your juices drip down his chin, making a complete mess.

“shiiiit, never tasted anything sweeter or as good as this fucking pussy baby. you gonna cum for me? i think it’s about time.” rafe licks a stripe up your slit, lightly biting and sucking at your clit and it sends shivers down your body. he knew what he was doing and you’ve never felt this sensation before.

damn him, he had you wrapped around his finger.

“fuuuuuck, fuck yes!!! keep doing that rafe, i’m gonna cum. fuck you’re so good with your fingers.” your legs shake and pussy contracts, your orgasm hitting you tenfold and rafe slurps it right up.

“you did so well y/n. now lets get you cleaned up, i better get out of here before knox comes home”

the next morning you tie your hair up into a ponytail completely oblivious to the fact you had three hickies somewhere under your ear. it slipped your mind as you threw on a tank top and some leggings and made your way downstairs to the kitchen. you spot rafe and knox sitting on the couch watching hockey.

“good morning!” you say a little too cheerfully, after the night you had it was expected.

“morning” rafe and knox say in unison.

“you sound awfully happy today.” knox comments.

rafe turns and looks at you with wide eyes trying to tell you without words that you had hickies on your neck and your brother was right there. he grabs his neck and quickly removes his hand when knox turns his head around to look at you. you didn’t catch what rafe was trying to tell you in time.

“ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?! WHAT IS THAT SHIT ON YOUR GOD DAMN NECK Y/N? WHO DID IT? TELL ME NOW I SWEAR TO GOD. DO I KNOW THE FUCKER?” knox bellows at the top of his lungs. you start to sweat and your legs almost give out, even rafe looks guilty when sweat starts to form on his forehead.

knox gets up from the couch and stalks towards you. “do you see this shit rafe? can you fucking believe the prick that did this to my little sister?” rafe chokes and just stares, stuck on the couch not knowing what to do or say. he just gave himself away.

“wait a minute…” knox looks from you to rafe, and it clicks. “you’ve got to be fucking joking. out of all the girls desperate to be with you….you go and choose my sister?” knox yells with disgust.

“look, knox… bro, um let me explain.” rafe says nervously as he carefully gets up from the couch. he knows how your brother is when it comes to you, and his anger sometimes gets the best of him.

knox steps towards rafe and throws a punch but rafe dodges it and grabs knox’s fist. “knox, listen! i fucking love her. i love y/n, she’s not just some girl to me. you know me, i would never hurt her. she’s everything to me.” rafe confesses.

“wait! what, you love me?” you walk towards rafe, standing between the two. “yes y/n, i love you. always have pretty girl.”

“oh rafe, i love you too! i love you so much!” you steal a kiss from him, even in front of your pissed off brother. you could care less.

“so what? you two like together or something?” knox cringes.

“yes, we are and you’re just going to have to deal with it. please? for my sake.” you can’t help but smile knowing knox is going to let it go, he just wants his little sister to be happy. he may hate it but he knows if anyone deserves you, it’s rafe cameron.

“fine but no funny business with me around. i really don’t like it but whatever. just don’t hurt her cameron or i’ll come after you, trust me you know i will. soo, deal?”

“won’t happen but whatever you say y/ln. deal” rafe smirks, knowing he doesn’t have to sneak around to come over anymore.

tagging a few mooties: @cameronsprincess @rafesthroatbaby @rafesheaven @cameronwillow

[melles1276]

I’m not crying, you are. So proud of him and I’m touched by the way he praised his parents. 💔🥹

SEBASTIAN STAN GOLDEN GLOBES 2025

[cybrasigilism]

I WANT SOME SMUT DRABBLE WITH DAE-HO OR JUN-HO. LIKE, YOUR WRITING IS SO GOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDDDDDD 😭😭 .

omg THANK YOU! it warms my heart with how sweet you guys are about my writing :)

and i’ll do you one better, i’ll write a bit for BOAF of em, because i fear i can’t get over either of them. they’ll be seperate drabbles of course but trust they will both have their time in the sun on my blog ;)

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

Smut Drabbles (Kang Dae-ho/Hwang Jun-ho)

warning: smut and all things of the like, crazy business i know | not proofread | lowercase intended | implied f! reader | protection not implied (wrap it before you tap it folks) | oral sex (f! receiving/m! receiving) | losing your v-card | fingering | praise kink | these are my opinions for these characters, please be respectful even if my opinions for the characters differ from yours

characters: kang dae-ho (player 388), hwang jun-ho

A/N: wanted to do both in the same post because why should i make anyone wait for a part 2? i hate two parters myself esp if it’s something like a drabble, that can all be in one part. thanks for the request and i hope you enjoy!

MDNI! 18+ content under the cut, readers discretion is advised

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

kang dae-ho/player 388

now it’s old news at this point to say that dae-ho is the absolute king of gentle sex, but that statement really does hold true. he’s not satisfied if you didn’t cum at least twice, he will not quit until he’s sure you’re completely finished.

his absolute favourite thing to do besides being inside you is having you sit on his face. in fact, he says he could cum from the facesitting alone, having you ride his tongue while he gives you pleasure in the likes of which you haven’t experienced before. if he gets a bit carried away, he’ll dig his nails into your thighs while he tongue fucks your pussy. you may get worried about suffocating him, but he insists that the adrenaline rush that comes with it all really gets him going.

trust when you give him head, the gentle side really comes through. he’ll make sure to praise you up and down about how good you’re doing, how good you’re making him feel, and how much he really doesn’t want you to stop. now, if you really want to have him melt in your hands, you can’t go wrong with edging him. just bringing him right up to the brink of release, having him grab your head for some sense of stability, only for you to stop. he’ll moan and whimper and beg like you’ve never heard somebody beg before. don’t let this fool you though, he’s totally into edging, it makes the release feel that much better. “please god honey, just let me cum… i promise i’ll be a good boy, i just wanna cum already, fuck”

he tries his best not to swear in bed, he personally just doesn’t think it’s necessary. however when he’s completely immersed in the pleasure, when you take over all his senses and thoughts like that, he doesn’t really give a shit anymore.

when you guys fuck, he’s for sure gonna maintain a slow and gentle pace. he knows he’s bigger, so while yes, he does like to bottom out inside you, he’ll give you ample time to adjust to his size at first. all the while, praising you on how good you’re being for him “yeah, taking my whole cock like that.. you’re doing such a good job” “it’s okay baby, i got you.. i got you”

one thing you can do to absolutely drive him crazy? claw up his back while he fucks you, god does he ever get vocal when you do that. he’s a bit embarrassed of his moans, he’s worried it comes off as obnoxious, but he’s more than happy to let loose especially when he realizes how it makes you clench around his dick when he does so.

he does lose control of his pace a bit when he gets closer to cumming, and trust he will kiss you lots throughout the whole experience. you guys might also break the headboard but that’s a different can of worms

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

hwang jun-ho/the police officer

anyone who tries to tell you that jun-ho wouldn’t make your first time all about you is lying to you, i’m so sorry you had to find out this way.

he would much rather focus on making you feel good, especially if you’ve established that you’re a virgin beforehand. and honestly, after he’s through with you, you’re not sure if you could even think about fucking anyone else.

there may not be penetration the first time, but he will do everything in his power to make you cum. that may be a tall order for the average guy, but seeing as he couldn’t give two shits about his own pleasure this time around, jun-ho wouldn’t have much trouble with achieving this goal. if you wanted to please him in any way, he would insist you let him do all the work. it’s not that he doubts you could please him, but he’s already had his first time, he’s more than happy to finger you or eat you out without receiving anything in return. “right now, it’s all about you sweetheart. i just want you to feel good, can you do that for me?”

oh don’t even get me started on how skilled he is with his fingers. he’ll be knuckles-deep inside you in no time at all, circling your clit with his thumb at the same time. trust he will also be kissing your neck while he’s fingering you, again just doing everything in his power to make you feel as good as humanly possible.

he’ll be praising you the whole time, complimenting you for being “such a good girl” when you take his fingers. and his tongue? god. this man could tie a knot in a cherry stem with his tongue, and that definitely goes to show when he eats you out. he will be fingering you while he sucks your clit and that’s a promise, and he will not cease until you’re shaking, barely able to form a single thought anymore.

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

i really want to do a NSFW alphabet for jun-ho now that i’ve written this! as usual any advice and constructive criticism on how i can improve my writing is appreciated and requested! i really hope i did jun-ho justice in particular because this is my first time writing for him :)

thanks so much for reading! and thank you anon for the request!

[godineedtoread]

y'all I had THOUGHTS

So- we know Simon has like a really deep voice right ? and also the fact that he never shows his face. so-

can you imagine him being one of those nsfw audio creators ?? do you see what I see ?

His masked face as the profile picture, the sexy deep british accent. That gruff voice of his saying such explicitly suggestive things..

It'll probably take like- a month or something before his fame spreads like wildfire, thanks to his military soldier x nurse audio, driving people insane. comments section filled with varying degrees of horny comments on his deep gruff voice.

He quickly became the internet hot topic, paired with the fact that there's hardly any information about him given out except his alias- Ghost, it was only natural that people became more and more attracted towards him. (because when have we liked men showing their faces 😭)

His popularity only rose higher, and so he takes the financially beneficial step, he makes a patreon. Having these special steamy phone conversation lucky draw for his highest paying members each month. "You're so cute you know ?" "You're my pretty girl" "Fuck, you're mine you hear me ?"

It was work for Simon, nothing exciting most of the time. He gave them a good time and he got his money in return. And it PAID for sure, 100+ members for his highest tier alone.

But this time..it so happens to be you. He didn't much of it as usual, well, at least until he heard your pretty voice greet him through the phone. His heart skipped a little, hearing your sweet earnest voice talking into his ear. How, he could hear you blush. You were just too cute, too good.

So he offers to guide you through your orgasm, a special feature added only for this month (totally not because his own dick was getting hard thanks to you) and you of course eagerly agree, who wouldn't ? "Are you close baby ?"

He whispers in his signature sultry voice, holding the phone with one hand while the other languidly strokes his growing bulge. "y-yes, so close", you whimper into the phone rubbing yourself with increasing pace. "Yeah ? You're gonna be a good girl and cum for me ?" His says, breath hitching as he feels himself getting close. He hears you moan his alias, wishing he could just tell you- call me simon luvie. But he can't risk exposing himself. So he just settles for you sweet whispers "Ghost I'm cumming !"

As you finally get over from your high, you thank him profusely for his 'surprise' service, unaware of the fact that you just gave him a surprise service too. He regains his composure getting back to you with a, "I'm glad you enjoyed it", because he sure did. "So would you be interested in a special video call service lucky draw next time ?"

safe to say, the draw was rigged. ;)

[artemis-pendragon]

BE MAD BE SAD BUT DONT U DARE GIVE UP

[sashathegirliepop]

why in gods name is their ship name 'jizzie'

Jizzie <3

Original image:

[apollos-boyfriend]

having such an obvious favorite character trope is life ruining bro

[kitskiis]

What I am gathering from current fandom discussion

[asagewitch05]

Everyone needs to hear this-

[chappellrroan]

[sunflowerscottie]

“deploying Aubrey”

[somewhatvellum]

this will sureily convince the people that the royal family are not out of touch moneywasters and that we should be happy keeping them around for sure

[decoy-sammy]

STAAAWWWSCREAMMMMMM AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

oh starscream