#😡😡😡😡😡😡😡🤺🤺🤺🤺🤺🤺🤺🤺🤺🤺🤺🤺🤺🤺

[underfell-crystal]

Hell on Earth

[pastafan20000]

Tomorrow is my beautiful sons birthday (his name is Nekko🙏🏽🙏🏽🤺🤺) and SOMEONE (cough cough @funky-puff COUGH COUGH.) called him a grandpa before his birthday. SHAME ON YOU WHOEVER DID THAT😡😡😡!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[kaisollisto]

[oolhan]

gale: oh my dear Katniss🫨 frustrated in marriage!😡😤 I must come🏃💨 and save her from a cripple fool!🤺🤺🤺

Katniss: im horny i want peeta🥺❤️

When the Rooster Misses the Dawn

So I saw this post from @triassictriserratops and asked if I could have a go at it, since I do enjoy writing some oblivious Gale letting his arrogance where Katniss is concerned lead him into accidental voyeurism. What can I say? I hope you enjoy and this cheers you up a bit, my friend!

RATED M for mild sexual content, accidental voyeurism, and brief mention of miscarriage.

Written in haste and not beta read so all mistakes are mine.

***

There existed only a handful of situations dire enough to wrest Colonel Gale Albert Hawthorne from his duties. Of course, his duties lay so far afield from home that word of the disaster took months to reach him. 

The news first took the form of a letter from his mother. He hardly gave countenance to it. Surely she must be mistaken, he thought as he read the preposterous claims. Katniss engaged to be married? Impossible. She and Gale had an agreement. Nothing official, to Gale’s great chagrin. He had meant to formalize it before he left, but so many other details had captured his attention. Ensuring his family’s security before he left, for one. There was also the matter of that pretty little blonde claiming him as the sire of her brat. 

He couldn’t very well outright propose to Katniss while dealing with that potential catastrophe. It had been costly but well worth it in the end. While the tidy sum and stern words he’d given the girl had hushed her, Gale found himself floundering for the words ample enough to convey his intentions to his true beloved when the time came.

He thought she had understood. No. He was certain Katniss had understood. She had no wish to marry immediately but would welcome a proposal from a good man she could respect, one who could provide her with security and stability, she had told him. Who would help her see Primrose educated and launched into society at the appropriate age. A man who would be a dutiful father to her children and a willing caretaker to her mother, should Mrs. Everdeen live to see her elderly years. Gale had been certain she meant him. Who else could she have meant? 

He had left home, confident that Katniss would wait for him to secure his status in the army. They would marry as soon as he returned home. That was his understanding of the matter. His mother must be mistaken. 

Still, to be certain, he had dispatched a letter to Katniss, laughingly commenting on the preposterous rumors about her marital status. While he waited for her reply, he dispatched his military duties with alacrity, even with enjoyment at times. And if he occasionally spent a small, token amount of his earnings on pleasurable company, no man in his right mind would chastise Gale for the weakness. 

The fact that the number of women whose bed he had warmed numbered too great for him to count did not signify. He consoled himself with the conviction that his knowledge of the carnal delights would only enhance his skill in the marriage bed. Katniss, he was certain, would have no recourse to complain if he could provide her with unparalleled ecstasy as well as a parcel of strong, healthy children.

A second letter from his mother reached him before any reply from Katniss. In this letter, Mrs. Hawthorne delivered the news that it was done. Katniss had been married a sennight previous to the penning of the missive he held in his hand. His mother had been in attendance at what she called a “lovely but rather hasty affair.” A quick calculation revealed to Gale the horrific possibility. The letter had clearly been waylaid. If indeed it were true, his darling Catnip had been wedded and bedded four months prior.

Gale denied it as long as possible. Until three days hence when at last a letter arrived from Katniss herself. No, not a letter. A mere note of five sentences. It too had been mislaid, likely due to the dampness that obscured some of Katniss’s already messy penmanship. Had she been in tears when she wrote this?

My dear friend,

I haven’t the time to give the news more than a few sentences, but indeed it is no jest. I write to you as a married woman and we depart this very morning for my husband’s estate. I have only time to provide you with my new direction. Write to me, Gale. I fear you would not understand our marriage and I could not bear it if it were the reason for the dissolution of our friendship.

Lady Katniss Mellark

Lady! So then, she had married a lord. Gale seethed at the indignation. She must have been induced into marriage for the sake of money. The security and stability she had claimed to desire for herself and her family was to blame. He had known that Katniss and her family existed constantly on the verge of gentile poverty, but had he known the situation to be so dire, he would have offered for her hand much sooner. Far better to be wed and separated for an untold number of months rather than see Katniss sell herself into marriage to a lord. No doubt an old, doddering fool of a lord, at that.

Such injustice! Gale raged for months, convinced of his righteous fury at the indignity Katniss must be suffering at the hands of her revolting spouse. To be forced to play nursemaid to an aging fool, and to then submit herself to his no doubt odious and lecherous advances in the marriage bed. No! It was not to be bourne.

It took days for the Colonel to untangle his affairs, both military and personal, enough for him to request a leave of absence. He wrote to Katniss at her new direction, providing a date she could expect him to visit. The journey required interminable weeks which he spent planning his strategies. How to convince Katniss to escape her horrific marriage, or encourage her to speed her husband’s journey to the grave. He would, of course, lend any assistance she might need in the matter.

At last, he arrived at the estate of Lord Peeta and Lady Katniss Mellark, Earl and Countess of Baecare. As he reined in his steed, his gaze swept the rather humble facade of the manor home. A place so quaint should prove no challenge for him to storm. A mere servant greeted him and as he gave his name, he was informed that Lady Katniss was currently indisposed.

“May I show you to your room? My lady will join you in the parlor after you’ve had a chance to freshen up and settle in your room.”

Gale agreed to the terms of engagement and dismounted. He had little enough in the way of luggage and carried it himself as he followed the maid inside.

The interior of the house impressed him even less than the exterior. He could not be terribly wealthy, this Lord Mellark, Gale thought as he examined the house. So simple and lacking in ostentation. Katniss could not be happy to have sold herself for so little. How exactly was this Lord Mellark meant to support Katniss, her sister, and her mother if he could so ill afford the luxuries of a wealthy home? 

He found his chambers serviceable but unimpressive. He had shared a bed with a courtesan whose chambers put this one to shame in terms of wealth and opulence. This house was no more than a country farm. To think that her husband claimed nobility with this shabby residence!

Gale freshened his appearance, and satisfied that Katniss, although he had never known her to be given to flights of romanticism, might in fact be swept off her feet by his dashing appearance, Gale made his way to the parlor to wait.

A footman offered him a drink and poured a glass of Scotch for him, then left him in silence to contemplate the room. He found more of the same. Serviceable but falling short of his expectations for the home of an earl.

“Forgive my intrusion,” a voice broke Gale’s strategic concentration and he turned about to find a man entering the room, one arm working a gleaming wooden crutch as he limped closer, an affable smile on his face. A young man, dressed in simple but fine clothes. A dark blue coat over an intricately embroidered, pale green waistcoat. His shirt and cravat crisp white and his breeches a soft, almost buttery shade of tan. Despite the man’s obviously deformed leg and limp, he wore gleaming riding boots. 

“You must be Colonel Hawthorne. Welcome to our home. Katniss has spoken so warmly of you that I feel I know you already,” the stranger said and stopped far enough away to execute a polite bow. “Please, allow me to refresh your drink.”

Gale stood there as the stranger claimed his glass and refilled it.

“I hope your journey was swift and untroubled?”

“A little longer than I had hoped, but no challenges I could not handle.” The stranger chuckled and offered the refilled glass to Gale. He accepted it and attempted to puzzle out who this young, cheerful man could possibly be in relation to Katniss. Surely this was not the Lord of the Manor… or perhaps it was.

“Indeed. My lady has spoken at length about how capable her dear friend Gale Hawthorne is in all matters,” the man spoke the words and yet Gale could not absorb them fully. His lady. Of course servants address their mistress with the honorific, but this man did not dress like a servant. Perhaps the lord’s son and heir, then? A cripple, how embarrassing. Perhaps then the aging Lord Mellark had offered comfort and wealth to Katniss in the form of a dowager title in the hopes of producing a different, younger heir…

“Peeta. You are not teasing our guest already, I hope.”

Gale found himself paralyzed at the sound of her voice. Months now he had dreamt of her and her lovely voice. Now to hear it addressing this man, so familiarly, he could hardly bear it. Of course she must act as required. Still, it stung.

The pain only alleviated a little as he turned at last and noticed an unprecedented pallor to her skin. 

“Lady Mellark,” he managed to say as she came forward and clasped his hands, presenting her cheek for him to rest his against. An old family greeting. He could hardly stand to feel the meager brush of her skin against his when he longed to pull her fully into his arms. But then she was gone, removing her hands even from his grasp. “It has been too long.”

“Far too long, and you are a wretched correspondent,” she declared.

“No worse than you,” he retorted and the other man laughed. 

“She does seem to demand far more in words than she is willing to return,” he said. Katniss turned her face enough to scowl slightly at the man, but he seemed unashamed and unaware of her expression. “But no matter. My lady finds her own means of conveying her thoughts.”

The only advantage to her ire was the flush that rose to Katniss’s cheeks, chasing away the frightening pallor. Perhaps then the man was not so oblivious, Gale considered, but had no chance to delve into deeper strategic observations.

“You must forgive my husband, Gale. He believes himself to be an unparalleled wit,” Katniss declared with a saucy lift to her chin. So then this was in fact Lord Mellark. Young and crippled. Not much better a match than old and crippled. Still, perhaps Gale’s plans could still work. He sensed indeed that Katniss would need them to work.

They sat then, and conversed, covering Gale’s journey and the other required topics. All of it quite banal as tea was served and sipped. Katniss ate but one biscuit, a little surprising given how healthy her appetite had always been, at least to Gale’s knowledge.

He hoped for some time alone with Katniss, to pry further into the particulars of their marriage, so that he might fine tune his strategies for extricating her from what was clearly an unfortunate marriage. He became only more convinced of the need to free Katniss from the odious union when she suggested that she show Gale about the estate, and Lord Mellark intervened.

“My dear, the Colonel has ridden a long way on his journey. Perhaps he might prefer rest. Or perhaps a walk in the gardens.”

“I can manage a ride quite well enough. I am used to long days of difficult work,” Gale countermanded, but Katniss demurred.

“No, my husband is quite right. You should rest before dinner. We shall ride out in the morning instead,” she declared, and Gale could not argue without seeming rude. He bowed in acquiescence but rather than accepting their invitation to walk with them both in the gardens, he declined and retired to his chambers.

Yet he did not rest. Instead, he paced his rooms. At one point, he lingered at his window long enough to catch sight of them returning to the house. Katniss’s dress, he noted, seemed to be stained in several places and her hat trailed by the ribbons behind her. Lord Mellark seemed oblivious to her shocking state and even laughed as she gripped the balustrade before slowly making her way into the house.

Manners be damned, Gale was ready to charge to her room when a servant appeared to inform him that dinner would be served in a half hour.

Thwarted, Gale fumed as he dressed for dinner. He silently fumed as Katniss made awkward attempts to draw him into conversation over dinner and ate little again. Was she ill? What had the bastard husband done to her? Gale wondered as he ate what he would otherwise deem an exquisite meal. The table seemed populated with all his favourite foods, a detail that he noted as a plea from Katniss. A silent reminder that this should have been their marriage table. Not Lord Mellark’s.

She retired early, leaving Gale alone to converse with Lord Mellark in the study. He used the opportunity to study the man as best he could. What little he gleaned only further convinced Gale of the man’s unsuitability to act as Katniss’s husband.

A third born son, not even intended for the title, who had lost his entire family in a tragic fire at one of their older estates while he had been away. 

Third born sons, Gale mentally scoffed, so needless and undesired as to inevitably fall into the dissolute lives of gamblers, wastrels, amoral spendthrifts, and seducers of innocent maidens and opera singers. Gale wondered then if Katniss’s clearly declining health were due to the obvious unhappiness of her marriage or to something more sinister. Perhaps Mellark had infected her with some terrible venereal disease!

The idea gave him pause, but no. His love for Katniss transcended such petty matters. He would not punish her for her husband’s cruelty in inflicting such a disease on her. Gale would love her regardless, passionately even, and in every sense of the word. As soon as they were free of her husband.

Even if a venereal disease were not the culprit, Katniss could not be happy saddled with a crippled husband. Gale knew how she disliked dealing with injuries, suffering from queasiness at the mere discussion of her mother’s skills as a healer. Perhaps this was it then! Of course Katniss was constantly ill around her husband. He was permanently injured and she required to face such an injury each time he demanded his marital rights in her bed.

Gale continued to fume and build a case against her husband. When he spotted Katniss fingering a faintly tarnished trinket hanging on a chain around her neck, he formed the theory that Lord Mellark, as a third son, was ill equipped to handle the fortune entrusted to him. Yes, that must be the reason for the modesty of their home, and the gold locket perhaps the only bit of finery left to Katniss that had not yet been sold to pay for her husband’s debts. 

No matter. Gale would shower her with jewels, if she would have them, once they were free of her husband. If she would accept them, of course. Katniss had always hated the pompousness that came with wealth and the ostentation that seemed to flow from every thread of the lives of the wealthy, and even from their pores.

As the days passed, Gale only became more convinced of the need to free Katniss from her marriage. Because despite all the mounting evidence that Lorn Mellark must be the worst sort of husband for Katniss, and that she must be genuinely miserable in her marriage, Gale could not help but like the man.

Damn his eyes! Lord Mellark projected a character so opposite to what Gale knew he must truly be. The devious man made it nearly impossible to hate him. Until Gale recalled the privileges Lord Mellark enjoyed beneath Katniss’s skirts.

He had his strategy prepared, even allowing for the fact that they would need to make haste to retrieve her sister and mother, in order to protect them from Lord Mellark’s wrath and retribution once he realized Gale had spirited away his wife.

Finally, Katniss’s health seemed to improve, and on a night when she declared herself to be famished and then consumed a prodigious amount of food, Gale decided it was time to enact his plan. He suffered through the after dinner pleasantries, although he did fully enjoy the delights of Katniss’s singing. He’d never known her to have such a sweet, melodious singing voice, and he realized that he had never heard her sing before this night. 

Her voice seemed to take wing and soar about the room, and he was awash in emotion, so overcome that he hardly noticed her husband’s clumsy playing of the pianoforte in accompaniment to her song, nor did he countenance the small gesture of Lord Mellark grasping her hand and lifting it to his mouth for a soft kiss after the song had ended.

Katniss shivered in revulsion, and begged leave to retire shortly afterwards. That was all that mattered to Gale. Tonight, he would go to her and declare himself and his intentions. A sneak attack in her chambers, although he fully expected her to fall weeping into his arms in gratitude.

Perhaps not weeping, he amended as he grimaced and dismissed the servant. He packed his belongings then and waited, tracking the moon’s progress across the sky until the hour when he could be certain Lord Mellark slumbered in his bed.

***

Katniss sat at her vanity, brushing her hair. Her eyes fixed unwaveringly on the reflection in the mirror. On the open door behind her that led to her husband’s rooms. She despised this concession to wealth and nobility in their house. She had in fact been meaning to remedy the odious arrangements of their rooms since they first arrived. But the excitement and anticipation of waiting for him each night had provided a thrilling and diverting distraction for far longer than she had expected. And then the baby. The one she had lost.

She nearly began weeping again thinking of the babe, but no. She lifted her chin and forced herself to appear serene. It would not do to have Peeta see her in tears. He had been delaying this night far longer than she desired, far longer than the doctor had recommended, at first out of concern for her health, and then out of concern for her broken heart.

Tonight, she would wait no more. Peeta would return to her bed or she would march to his room and seduce him. But he would not ignore her summons. Of that she was certain. She had sent him a note. His precious words he always begged from her lips, although he wielded them far better than she ever hoped to do.

Come to my bed, husband, or suffer my wrath come the morning. Love me again.

With all my heart, body, and soul,

Katniss

Perhaps a bit pathetic, but she was desperate. Having Gale in the house only increased her frustration since Peeta seemed overly conscious of setting her childhood friend at ease. He had barely touched her this past fortnight and she was half starved and out of her mind with need for all the small intimacies she’d grown accustomed to receiving from him. That was why she’d nearly combusted and simultaneously melted into a puddle at his feet when he kissed her hand after she sang tonight.

Damn him and his sense of hospitality. She would have him tonight and have him fully. If she moaned loud enough to bring the rafters down on Gale’s head in the guest room down the hall, then so be it.

At last, she saw him filling the doorway, leaning against the frame as he gazed on her, a familiar and achingly welcome heat and longing burning in his blue eyes. She controlled her breathing as best she could, but her heart she could not command. It raced with excitement. With love.

It had taken her far too long to admit it to herself, but once she had, her heart seemed intent on making up for her slow awareness of her emotions, inundating her entire being with passion and love for this man. Even now after months of marriage, she yearned for him.

“You commanded my presence, my lady,” he murmured and Katniss shivered again, this time at the dark intimacy in his voice. The velvety promise in his tone. Her knees shook as she stood and she strode across the room, uncertain she would make it to the bed before she collapsed.

“And you were wise to heed my command, my lord.”

He smiled at her sassy retort and met her there, beside the bed. She stared at his chest, both of them breathing heavily, the air pulsing with anticipation. He leaned his crutch against the bed and cupped her cheeks in his warm, broad palms. She leaned into his touch letting his familiar, beloved scent wash over her.

“Katniss, my love,” he murmured, sounding almost in pain. It satisfied her to know he had felt the denial of their love as deeply as she had. It soothed her irritation at him enough to spur her into action. Katniss lifted her face to his, and rose onto her toes, opening her eyes only for a moment, so that she might see the hungry expression in his blue eyes before their lips met.

***

Gale paused outside the door and smiled to himself. His silent tread, developed through years of hunting beside his father -- a gamesman to a lord -- and then through years as a soldier, had come in useful tonight. He had arrived at Katniss’s chamber door undetected. He pressed his ear to the closed panel. No sounds within, but just as he reached for the door handle, a loud clatter sounded inside followed by a swift curse in a man’s voice and a feminine giggle.

A giggle?

Never in his life had Gale known Katniss to giggle. He pressed his ear more firmly to the seam between the double doors and listened. Silence again. Still, he waited. He could be patient. His quarry lay within and he would not be denied victory this night.

When the clock down the hall began to strike the hour, he used the sound to mask his knock. A mere light rap. Likely not enough to wake Katniss, but he must try the polite approach before he intruded. He reached again for the door handle, but when he pushed down, nothing happened. 

Locked!

Steeling himself, he curled his hand into a fist and prepared to knock again. A little louder this time, he thought, but then a new sound reached his ears. It sounded… yes it sounded like moaning. Was Katniss injured? He tried the handle again to no avail and dropped to his knees. He felt a little foolish using the keyhole to spy on his beloved, but he had little choice. He needed to ascertain the situation before he charged within.

With his ear to the opening, he could hear much more clearly. Katniss was indeed moaning, a desperate and inconsolate sound. But just as he prepared to stand, intending to kick down the door and storm inside, coherent words reached his ear.

“Peeta, my love! Oh!”

Gale froze. The sounds morphed and penetrated his brain at last as Katniss’s moans grew in intensity.

Colonel Gale Albert Hawthorne had warmed the beds of many women. Too numerous to count, in fact. And as he knelt before the locked bedchamber door of his beloved Katniss, the sounds within finally coalesced into something truly horrific. His brain knew that it was time for a strategic retreat as he listened to Katniss moan and whimper in ecstasy. But his body would not obey his commands. All he could manage was to turn his head and peer through the keyhole. To spy upon his love and watch in horror as she threw her head back on her pillows, her bosom heaving beneath her askew nightshift and her hands grasping at a head of blonde hair moving between her thighs. At a pair of pale, bare shoulders as he pleasured her with his mouth. The wooden crutch discarded on the floor would reveal her lover’s identity even if the sound of his name falling in sighs off her lips did not.

“Ung! Peeta, please,” she whimpered and writhed and then gasped as her body convulsed.

Still, Gale could not walk away. Not while Katniss smiled and hummed and petted his hair in the aftermath of her passion. Not while he could clearly hear the wet sounds of Lord Mellark dutifully worshipping between his wife’s thighs. Not when Katniss’s breathing evened out and she released a content thigh, opening her eyes as Lord Mellark rose up above her, and her smile widened.

“Now… now I steal your words, husband of mine,” she said and placed one hand on her husband’s chest, deftly pushing him over onto his back. She followed him, straddling his thighs and Gale nearly vomited as he caught sight of Lord Mellark’s disgustingly pleased and clearly besotted face as he gazed up at Katniss.

When she reached for her shift and began to lift it off her body, Gale finally broke himself free of the spell and stood. He stood there, blind but unfortunately not deaf as he stared at the door and attempted to refigure everything he had seen during his visit in this house.

And when the sounds of mutual pleasure within grew too loud to bear, Gale finally forced his feet to obey. He walked away, back to his rooms, his tread disconcertingly loud, but it mattered not. Who could possibly hear his retreat that mattered when his beloved Katniss wailed and sang her pleasure with such unmatched enthusiasm and volume?

[emrys-rusts]

Hobbits are all so friend-shaped it makes me mad

[pjackk]

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[landoughnut]

Nurse He's Out Again

♡ masterlist - request!

♡ pairing - lando norris x fem!reader (fc - brooke shields :)

♡ summary - just lando thirsting on the main and giving being a pr nightmare, also him fighting for his life in the comments

♡ warnings - horny/simp lando, crack, some fluff, some cursing, one kms mention

♡ w/c & a/n - smau | wanted to do a social media one cause i love reading them so much so here we are! i really love this actually so i hope you enjoy xoxo

landonorris FIRST liked by yourusername

landonorris holy shit baby 😍🥵

landonorris please date me fhsusnygds 😻💍

yourusername already am my love 💗

username WOWWW

kendalljenner stunning bestfriend 💋

yourusername love you 😘

username lando having her notifs on is so cute 🥹

username im in love with you.

landonorris NO I AM. STAY AWAY 😡

username LANDO LMAOAO

vogue 🤍 liked by yourusername

maxverstappen1 🔥📸

yourusername thanks max ☺️

maxverstappen1 someone tell me how lando's dating her

landonorris HEY 😟

charles_leclerc real max

yourusername the real question is how did i get so lucky with him!!

landonorris SHHH BABY NEVER SAY THAT 😣

adele my darling you look beautiful 🩷

yourusername i love youuu mother adele 💗

landonorris IM DATING AN ANGEL WOW PLEASE MARRY ME

yourusername i love you so much 😭

landonorris CBGHNCHD I LOVE YOU MOST BABY 🥰😍☺️

oscarpiastri lando fell to his knees in a walmart parking lot

landonorris can you blame me?? 🛐🛐🛐

username no we cant lando

landonorris it was a rhetorical question 👺

carlossainz55 my favorite model 🙏 liked by yourusername

username can lando fight?? 🥵🤤

landonorris YES GET AWAY SHOO 🤺

georgerussell63 bro can notttt fight

landonorris fuck you george

landonorris I CAN RUN YOU OVER INSTEAD

mclaren lando norris we're having a meeting this afternoon

mclaren looking absolutely stunning 🧡

yourusername love you admin 💋

landonorris FIRST liked by yourusername

landonorris DAMNNN BABY COME HOME AND KISS ME

username oh no..

landonorris ON MY NO NO SQUARE

oscarpiastri the second hand embarrassment i have rn

alexandrasaintmleux what 😟 yourusername ill save you bae

landonorris get me pregnant. 🫃

mclaren no we need you in racing conditions

landonorris you need me? that sounds familiar 😏🛌

maxverstappen1 MY EYES 🤢

mclaren REPLYING TO MYYYY COMMENT???

oscarpiastri ON MYY PHONE??

yourusername osc look away 😨

ladygaga so pretty 🤩 liked by yourusername

username 😻😍

landonorris get these heart eyes OUTTA HERE

yourusername BABY STOP HARASSING PEOPLE IN MY COMMENTS

landonorris "baby" 😍 anything for u wifey 🛐

billieeilish so fineee bby

landonorris SCRAM BILLIE

yourusername ILYY BILLIEEE 🤍

username lando is fighting for his LIFE 😭

username lando trying not to simp challenge level impossible

landonorris GUESS WHO SHE WAS SMILING AT YALLLLLLLL

yourusername i love you 💗 im always smiling with you 💖

landonorris I LOVE YOU SO MUCH BABY FUCKING HELL

username you guys are the cutest to exist

carlossainz55 yeah until you hear them talk about each other 25/8

landonorris shut up carlos your just jealous

georgerussell63 you're*

landonorris 🖕🖕

harrystyles gorgeous

landonorris bye.

landonorris i cant compete with harry 😨

landonorris GUYS DONT LET HER SEE THIS

charles_leclerc too late i just heard a scream from the living room where she is with alex

yourusername HARRY OH MY GOSH HELLO I LOVE YOU JEHXBUYTNEGBYGYGXE

landonorris im going to kms. someone pick my casket now. he broke my girl.

mclaren our favorite girl 🧡

yourusername FIRST liked by landonorris

username im obsessed with them being first for each other 🥹

yourusername LANDO PLEASE I CANT 😭

landonorris THE WORLD NEEDS TO SEE YOURE WITH MEE

charles_leclerc NAHHHH LANDO

oscarpiastri MY EYESS

yourusername IM SORRY OSC BBY

landonorris dont call him bby 😡 im your bby

username "tell your baby that im your baby" 🥺

username HELPPP bros fed up with the comments

username LANDO HAS A MOMMY KINK CONFIRMED 😋

mclaren you're done buddy. no more mr nice guy. meeting at 5pm.

username ignoring the caption but its so cute that the only thing he posts besides racing related pictures is her 🥹 my heart liked by landonorris

username she's so beautiful wow liked by landonorris

username her smile is the prettiest thing ive ever seen liked by landonorris

maxverstappen1 lando... what about us 😣

yourusername BACK AWAY FROM MY MAN 🗣️🤺

username how the tables have turned...

landonorris YEAH YOU TELL HIM BABY ‼️ THATS MY WIFEY 🗣️

username their matching profile pictures are adorable 🥹 liked by landonorris

alexandrasaintmleux SHE WAS MINE FIRST 👹

yourusername im still yours love 💗

landonorris thats not what you said in bed last night

alexandrasaintmleux NAHH UNDER MY COMMENT??

georgerussell63 lando mate enough is enough 😀

landonorris literally leave no one wants you here

mclaren you've taken at least ten years off my life

username SOMEONE SEDATE HIM✊

username someone needs to get neutered 🫵🏻

carlossainz55 NO MORE PLEASE I CANT TAKE IT ☹️

landonorris pov my wifey after round five last night

username FIVE????

alex_albon NASTYY YALL FREAKYYY

mclaren why do I even try 😞

lewishamilton NURSE HES OUT AGAINNNNN 😦

[jinwoosbabyboo]

“Silent treatment”

LADS Men reacting you giving them the silent treatment … also I just found what all the boys flowers are and they’re meanings …. these game devs are a little too good at their job

Zayne

Zayne: Let’s not let your efforts to find a new bakery go to waste

MC: ….

Zayne: Are you alright?

MC: ….

Zayne: My apologies did you not want to go anymore?

MC: ….

Zayne, Thinking: Her birthday was 3 months ago our anniversary is 4 months 2 weeks and 6 days from now, I got her all the plushies she wanted, I let her win 8 games of kitty cards, I took a bite out of her pastry 3 weeks ago… that must be it

MC: I can hear the gears in your mind grinding at lightning speed relax

Zayne: Was it the pastry? I’m sorry I’ll buy you more and I won’t take a bite even if eating your food is more appealing

MC: I was just joking it’s okay

Zayne: What flavor do you want? Actually disregard I’ll buy every flavor

MC: Zayne

Rafayel

Rafayel: Guess where we’re going

MC: ….

Rafayel: The night market!

MC: …

Rafayel: You don’t want to eat?

MC: …

Rafayel: You don’t want to play games?

MC: …

Rafayel: Do you not want to hang out with me?

MC: …

Rafayel: ….are you mad at me? Are you mad at me?? Are 👏🏼 You 👏🏼 Mad 👏🏼 At 👏🏼Me 👏🏼 ??? Are you MAD AT MEE?? HEY!! ARE YOU MAD AT ME??!!

MC: RAFAYEL

Rafayel: ARE YOU MAD AT MEEEE???!!

MC: IM NOT MAD STOP YELLING

Rafayel: Don’t ignore me like that I should spit bubbles at you … my knees are about to give out I can’t feel my legs

MC: Are you done?

Rafayel: Air I need air

MC: Get off the floor

Xavier

Xavier: Hey cutie

MC: …

Xavier: You hear me?

MC: …

Xavier: Oh I’ve had this happen before

MC: ????

Xavier: *Rushes out of the room comes back with a long needle, peroxide, & tissue*

MC: ?!!!

Xavier: I had impacted wax in my left ear once I can fix yours easy

MC: I CAN HEAR YOU I CAN HEAR YOU GET THAT OVERGROWN SEWING NEEDLE AWAY FROM ME

Xavier: Are you sure?

MC: YES

Xavier: So you were ignoring me?

MC: It was a prank

Xavier: I’ll check just in case

MC: Get back 🤺

Sylus

MC: …

Sylus: …

MC: … *hard sigh*

Sylus: It’s nice and quiet today

MC: …

Sylus: Yea this is nice

MC: >:(….

Sylus: I wish it was like this more often

MC: …. :(

Sylus: So peaceful I could fall asleep

MC: Are you saying I’m annoying?

Sylus: I knew I could get you to break your silence kitten

MC: Can you fall for my pranks please?

Sylus: When you have a clever prank I’ll fall for it sweetie

MC: …… 😡

[afterglowsainz]

body paint | alex albon

pairing: norris!reader x alex albon

summary: after alex breaks up with his girlfriend, you’re right there to help him forget about her

fc: kensington tillo

warnings: one suggestive comment, some self-deprecation? (very light stuff), harsh lando (in all brotherly fashion)

a/n: i feel like i’ve read all the alex fics on this app i need more of him :(

—

liked by f1wags and others

f1gossip williams driver alex albon has officially broken up with his girlfriend of five years

view all comments

username say sike right now

username NOOOOOO

username why on earth am i mourning a relationship that isn’t mine

username so love is officially dead okay cool to know

username f1gossip you can’t just drop this bomb on me and LEAVE

username i refuse to accept this information

username they were the standard 😭

username the day i died actually

liked by alex_albon, charles_leclerc and others

ynnorris we had fun 🪩💋🍸

view all comments

username my daily inspo just posted!

username so pretty 🎀

username the cool sibling fr

ynnorris landonorris ‼️

landonorris mean

kendalljenner always have fun when you’re around 😚 (liked by ynnorris)

username i’m so glad y/n decided to attend the grand prix’s out of nowhere

username honestlyyyy why were we robbed of her existence for this long

liked by francolapinto, ynnorris and others

alex_albon had fun at the night race and getting good points for the team🌛

view all comments

username MY GOAT

username this man is so beautiful my god

francolapinto 👊🏽

username how is he still carrying that tractor into the points is beyond me

username incredible

ynnorris congrats alex!

alex_albon thank you☺️

username okay 👀 i don’t hate that

ynnorris’s instagram stories

[caption 1: 💋] [caption 2: for some reason i always end up here]

alex_albon’s instagram stories

[caption 1: recharging 🔋] [caption 2: 🌊]

liked by francisca.cgomes, pietra.pilao and others

ynnorris la isla bonita

view all comments

username first alex’s story now THIS?

username talk about soft/hard launching

username nah i recognize my boy alex in that pic

username the real question is how did he bag THE y/n norris?

username that’s crazyyyy

username okay but can we talk about how absolutely gorgeous she is? 😍

alexandrasaintmleux truly mesmerized

ynnorris me when i look at you

username absolute baddie

liked by f1wags and others

f1gossip a fan met alex albon and lando norris’s sister, y/n norris, today at the airport while they were traveling together

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username all the confirmation i needed

username damn it really only took him six months to find someone else

username lando’s sister, nonetheless

username he said i’m fucking FREE

username no you don’t understand this is my superbowl

username how the hell did those two got together 😭

username most out of pocket couple but they work somehow?

username this is the day i was reborn

ynnorris’s instagram stories

[caption 1: chill weekend🧖🏼‍♀️🧼] [caption 2: 💌]

like by ynnorris, oscarpiastri and others

alex_albon good few days 😎

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username OMGOMGOMGOMG

username unhinged

carmenmmundt can alex fight?

alex_albon 🤺🤺🤺

ynnorris no need carmen i chose you!

georgerussell63 😡

username the way y/n had only attended like three grand prix’s before alex bagged her 😭

username he really didn’t waste any time

username all he had was a broken heart and faith in the universe

username my roman empire

pietra.pilao cuties 🥰

landonorris don’t encourage this 😡

pietra.pilao leave them alone 🙄

username my girlfriend (and alex’s)

ynnorris so much for taking things slow

alex_albon 😊

[illumidatingsim]

this is how I reacted after reading this post 💔 heavy on his parentification, Illumi knows the burden of being the first child </3

hello I'd love to hear your thoughts about Illumi's suicidal tendencies... the way he was so eager to sacrifice himself during the whole Killua-gets-Alluka-to-heal-Gon thing really broke my heart :(( our assassin boi needs therapy and cuddles

Hi! Thank you so much for this ask! I always love discussing Illumi :)

I agree, Illumi was very eager to sacrifice himself to save Killua and the rest of his family. Despite not being aware of Nanika's rule exemptions for Killua and how Killua's wishes are risk free, Illumi believed this was a dangerous high risk situation and that casualties (in the thousands) would be inevitable. I also believe he fears what he can't control and, in his mind, thought only he could mitigate the consequences of Killua's wish, with the intention to save him, a selfess and heroic act becomes entangled with a selfish and manipulative one. It shows how his love for his family is very twisted and chilling. Here's why:

Illumi believes you sacrifice for those you love.

In a family where self preservation is everything and instilled in all members, Illumi disregarded that and was ready, without hesitation, to offer himself up as a sacrificial lamb in order for Killua to make his wish and heal Gon. He WAS going to lay down his life for his brother, (and technically for others, but family is his one and only priority) and in his mind giving his life would be the greatest and most ultimate act of love. (the parentification of Illumi Zoldyck is so strong! How dare his parents do that to him...) But also the act of sacrificing oneself to save the world is a quality belonging to a hero. (Born to be a hero, forced to be a villain lol) In that moment, he no longer mattered, his self preservation wasn't important, but a part of him would still be preserved in Killua, whom he has a strong attachment to.

Illumi believes you still love someone even after they're gone.

Illumi stated that because of his sacrifice he would 'live on in Killua's heart' but also 'Killua would suffer for the rest of his life' because of it. Killua would forever be haunted by Illumi's death. Perhaps for Illumi, to have someone be haunted by him is the same as being loved by him forever. And to haunt someone forever is the same as to love them forever. He's a manipulator, but he's also a protector (the juxtaposition is insane!) He does not fear death because he'll live on in the memories and hearts of those he loves (Illumi is such a complex character, because he's at once displaying the qualities of a hero to save and protect, but it's just so incredibly selfish, twisted, and messed up.) Love and fear are one and the same. I very much think, if this is his reasoning, how he percieves love heavily stems from how his parents treated him (and abused him) throughout his life since infancy. This boy grew up brainwashed, suffered immense trauma that was repetitve, unpredictable, and heinous. His life was a game of survival and he had to find a way for him to live, and perhaps he found that way through his brothers.

He's been through alot and because of them he can still smile.

(I know this is from Hisoka's mental toybox, but I just think it's so cute!!!❤️)

I feel like he would remind people that he could have ended up alot worse (lies, he's already there O_O) and he'll tell them so they appreciate it and not push his buttons lol He needs therapy, cuddles, and so much love that isn't conditional (there was no unconditional love in the zoldyck household, which is why sacrificing himself is his ultimate act of love BECAUSE for him to get love he had to earn it from his parents. What could he do to recieve love and approval and praise and everything that felt good in an otherwise awful life? Behaviors that all enabled him to receive love became reinforced and are now ingrained within him. His love langauge is probably acts of service (ngl he's hungry for all the love languages) But him throwing away his life for Killua was him also saying 'this is how much I love you and how much I will always love you. Forever. My love for you is forever.'

I am in tears, I am in shambles, I am heartbroken! Illumi needs to be spoiled! ❤️

[violetberryyy]

what’s the best ASOIAF book?

[jasmineandcedar]

Recap of ACOSF

Since it might only be a decade more, or so, until Elain's book is out, I thought we all could use a recap of ACOSF.

Azriel: *obsessed* what happened to Elain?

Cassian: *showing Nesta all his cards at once*

Azriel: *scandalized* in front of my dinner!? 😱

Cassian: *instructing* hands on the headboard 😏

Azriel: *increasingly obsessed* remember that time I saved Elain? 

Amren: *cranky* will you shut the fuck up!?

Lucien: *snarl!* but also, did I tell you about Vassa?

Azriel: *sleep deprived from emo glaring at tylenol* sure, bro, but Elain though? *emo glaring at tylenol*

Elain: *Impressed* definitely smash! *smiles shyly* 🌸☺️🌸

Azriel: 🤯🫠😵‍💫 *wants and needs and razor-sharp thoughts*

Nesta, Emerie, Gwyn: 🏋🏽‍♀️🤸‍♀️🧘‍♀️

Elain: *sassy* should I tend to my little garden forever? 🌸😡🌸

Azriel's shadows: *gathering in the corner* 😎 got your back, baby 😎

Rhys: *yells at Nesta*

Nesta: *yells at Rhys*

Mor: *the only one actually working*

Feyre: Uhm.. Hi guys!

Nesta, Gwyn, Emerie: *taken to the Blood Rite* Oh no!

Cassian: *hyperventilating* kfospeirjfksoskebfekow!!

Azriel: *~Elain though~* Relax, bro. Now where's Eris?

Koschei: *eyeing Azriel spookily with intent* will I actually get any page time, though?

Nesta, Gwyn, Emerie: *engaging in various forms of ass kickery* 🤺🤺🤺

Azriel and Elain: *gazing chargedly at each other* 🤩🤩

Nesta: *knowingly* is that supposed to be a secret? 😏

Koschei: *offended* am I a joke to you all?

Azriel: *finally lost his mind* I need to know what the skin of her neck tastes like. What those perfect lips taste like. Her breasts. Her sex. I NEED HER COMING ON MY TOoONGUuUEEee!!! 🥵🥵 also, please don't look down, Elain dear *pants straining*

Elain: *Impressed* definitely smash! *glowing like the sun at dawn* Put it on me. 🌸😏🌸

Azriel: *on his knees, internally* 🫠🫠

Rhys: *stressed out High Lord* well, actually... 🤓

Azriel: *raging in an icy manner* 😡

Elain: *unbothered queen* Find me when you wish to begin. 

Koschei: *increasingly offended* I am a joke to you all!!

And then Feyre had a baby, Nesta found the troves and Koschei got some page time. The end. 

[mandatory-ftmbreeder]

me listening to my bf talk about the hot single dad he sucked off for two hours straight: 🥰😊😳😩🤭😚😚🫄

me listening to my bf talk about how he went to a good restaurant without me: 😡🤨🤯😞🦠🦠💀💥🗣️👎🤺🏌️

[maaneskin]

I BELIEVE THE SUN SHOULD NEVER SET. luke hughes x f!reader

you leave for tour and luke doesn’t like it + your bandmate taunts him (bandmate3s name is lacy , part of the lore but i do not call her that in this)

another luke with rockstar gf thank you

lukehughes

liked by bandmate1 and others

lukehughes don’t go…… come back….. pls…. 😞

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user12 bros acting like she went to war

bandmate2 🫵 loser 🫵🫵

yourusername babe… i left 20 minutes ago

lukehughes 20 minutes too long 😞😞

bandmate2 🫵 loser 🫵🫵

yourusername you’re such a hater 😭

user87 she’s so beautiful and for what

user45 they make me sick 🤢

user82 the way he’s holding onto her 😣 when will it be me

johnmarino @.yourusername please come back he’s gonna be insufferable

yourusername sorry i have a job to do 🤨

user66 i paid for my tickets with blood and i will see her live 😤😡

user93 do i want him or her?

user2 boaf

yourusername

liked by lukehughes and others

yourusername thank you new york 🤍🎸

view all comments

bandmate3 you’re so hot

bandmate3 break up with your boyfriend i’m right here 😚

lukehughes 🤺 BACK 🤺🤺 BACK I SAY 🤺

bandmate3 kissing her as we speak 🤭

lukehughes FUCK UOU FUCJ YOU

lukehughes baby call me please

lukehughes babe

user9 Luke Hughes I Am You

user77 WOOF WOOF WOOFFOWOFOWWOFF

jackhughes @.yourusername please answer his calls he’s almost crying

bandmate3 she’s busy 🤭

lukehughes WHATHRFUCJ

user5 luke losing it in the comments 😭😭

bandmate3

liked by jackhughes and others

bandmate3 @.lukehughes kisses babe

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user11 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

lukehughes im gna kills yiu

user51 he's typing through the tears 😭😭😭

user49 this is sofunny 😭😭

lukehughes why would you do this

lukehughes tell her to answer my calls

bandmate1 LMFAOOOOOOOOOO

lukehughes DO YOU KNOW WHEREHSHE IS????

bandmate1 LMFAOOOOOOOOO

lukehughes wjat did i ever do ot you

jackhughes he's crying

user30 this is very entertaning 😭😭

user48 (name) PLEASE give me a chance PLEASE

lukey <3

baby

baby please

pick up the phone babe

haha

don’t let that EVIL WITCH take you from me

i love you

pls

babe

babydoll <3

luke what

oh my god

evil witch 😭😭 you two are so dramatic

lukey <3

facetime? pls

babydoll <3

ofc 🤍

lukehughes

liked by yourusername and others

lukehughes @.bandmate3 fuck you shes mine

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bandmate3 not for long 👹

[khaotunng]

WHAT IF WE 🧍‍♂️🧍‍♀️ WERE FATED CHILDHOOD ENEMIES 😡🤺 FROM 👹RIVAL FAMILIES👹BOTH ALIKE IN PETTINESS😒 BUT❗️ WE 💞 FELL IN LOVE IN HIGH SCHOOL 📚💞 BUT ❗️❗️WE COULD NOT COMMUNICATE 🙅🚫😶 FOR SHIT AND WE BROKE UP FOREVER😭😨⚰️ UNLESSSSS ONE OF US🧍‍♂️ GOT SICK 🛏️ AND FEVERISH🌡️🤒💀AND WE WERE STILL IN LOVE AND ONE OF US SAID, TEARFULLY😭, IT’S REALLY YOU JIWON🥺🥹AND WE KISSED💋

[aechii]

LURKiNG ! [smau]

PAIRING ! model!reader x kylian (fc: vinetria)

SYNOPSiS ! in which [y/n] is a quiet, shy model, but someway, somehow, has piqued kylian's interest.

A/N ! i have nothing much to say. kinda sucks since i rushed it a bit, but ill post pt 2 if i can tmrrw

_

k.mbappe

liked by neymarjr and 789,889 others

k.mbappe by special request ;)

view comments..

user1 what type of cryptic ass caption is THAT ?!

user2 i don't like this 😟

neymarjr but when i picked the photo for you to post, you left me on read 🤨

k.mbappe because your choice was obviously wrong 🙄

user3 HIS ARMS!!!!!!!

user4 i want him so bad omfg-

user5 is everyone thinking what i'm thinking?

user6 yes. *runs to twitter* user7 no!!!! STAY🤺 AWAY🤺 FROM🤺 [Y/N]🤺

sergioramos hermanito looking bonito 🤩

k.mbappe thank you brother 🤩 user8 aye yai yai !! bromance is bromancing!!!

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sportsgossip

liked by k.mbappe and 99,733 others

sportsgossip famous model [y/n] [l/n] spotted today at psg's home game against marseille! is she here for someone 👀 ? let us know your thoughts 🤩

view comments...

jesuis_yn y'all look too much into everything 🤣 i was dragged by my friend, and that's it &lt;3 📌 pinned

user1 [y/n]... you're not really fighting your case here 🙃

user2 and she said she wasn't dating kylian 😑

user3 what if.......... she's just there to watch FOOTBALL ??? 🤯

user4 highly unlikely... she hasn't shown much interest in sports as a whole lol

user5 @/jesuis_yn using the oldest excuse in the book. WE ARE SMARTER THAN THAT YN!!!!!!

yn_friend she was forced to attend by me lmao 😭 liked by jesuis_yn and 23,888 others

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jesuis_yn

liked by k.mbappe and 299,109 others

jesuis_yn latest shoot 😋

view comments...

user1 MARRY ME BABE

user2 KYLIAN! LEAVE! NOW! 😡

user3 lordd this man is still here??

user4 IM THE ONE FOR YOU [Y/N] <3333333

k.mbappe you're gorgeous liked by jesuis_yn and 34,778 others

jesuis_yn thank youu 😭 <3 user5 ????????????? user6 what if i just....... yk........ user7 IT'S HAPPENING!???!! STAY CALM!! user8 kylian's simping went to a good cause 🙏 user9 IM SOBBING user10 this is so out of the blue, my heart can't take this 👎

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k.mbappe

liked by jesuis_yn and 810,882 others

k.mbappe 📷: ❤

view comments...

user1 SOFT LAUNCH???

user2 IT'S SO CRYPTIC BUT WE KNOW!! WE KNOW!!!

user3 MY PARENTS ARE TOGTHER FINALLY 😭😭😭

user4 WHEN?? WHAT?? HOW??

user5 MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY

ethanmbappe so that's where u went... 🧐

k.mbappe yup 😌

user6 crying screaming throwing up.

user7 matching captions.... where can i find love like this? :')

user8 kylian is going to steal my poor shy bae. I WAS THE ONE FOR YOU [Y/N]!!!

user9 get help with immediate effect pls.

neymarjr OH!

k.mbappe 😁