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pandapupremade · 2 years

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Babysitting Cream

WORDS: 1918

SHIP: Mephiles / Infinite x Lila Kitty (poly selfship)

CONTENT WARNINGS: mentions of food, discussions involving past events of villain actions which are not relevant to the actual fic but yknow

SUMMARY: A trio of idiots babysits a 6 year old. It's fine. Everything's fine.

author note: I have worked on-off for this since like. idk months ago a loong time. possibly even since 2021. either way i find it very funny and finally finished it. enjoy

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"You don't mind, do you?" Lila asked as she poured herself some coffee that morning, "I mean, it's not like you two have other plans, right?" She received blank stares in response. Well, Mephiles always stared blankly, but Infinite's stares were usually more disappointed...Ah, that's besides the point.

She had, for context, just dropped the awkward (not for her) bomb that she had agreed to Mephiles, Infinite and herself babysitting six year old Cream the Rabbit while her mom, Vanilla, went out on a day trip with a friend. (Which was a little strange to Lila, because normally Vanilla would simply take Cream along, but it seems the friend wanted some alone time, whoever it was...)

Anyway, the babysitting thing; it was going to start around noon, and Lila hadn't bothered to tell either of her partners before the morning of. It's fine, she knew they never really went anywhere without her, so if they hadn't been able to help out, she would've known!

Infinite sighed, moving forward and crossing his elbows on the kitchen table. "Interesting mother the child must have, to entrust her daughter to the likes of us..."

Lila paused. "...Yeaaah, I guess that's true - Mephiles almost destroyed the essence of time, you kinda reigned terror for a while..." She tapped her chin. "..Ah well. What's done is done and well in the past." ...Technically what Mephiles did never happened in this timeline, though. Infinite has less excuse.

"There would also be you, who is a danger to everyone, including herself." Infinite added, to which Lila huffed.

"I'm more careful when it's not my life on the line!" She told him, putting her hand on her hip and sipping her coffee a moment after. She froze, then, and glared at Mephiles now - "Don't you say a WORD about it, Mr. Ruined Timeline."

Infinite also glanced at Mephiles, who had been quiet so far (though had a minor air of amusement at Lila's words). "...What about you? You have no complaints?"

Mephiles said nothing a moment longer, then looked up at him. "...No." A goo monster of few words. Oh well.

"Glad to hear it! Vanilla is really sweet, so I would hate to let her down!" Lila hummed. If that's truly the case, maybe she should've checked with Infinite and Mephiles BEFORE the day of, buuut...That's not how Lila rolls, and everyone knows it.

"I do wonder, though," She mused as she leaned against the counter, "Who exactly is she going out with...? Is she dating someone? Hmm..."

"It's not your business, is it?" Infinite shook his head. "There you go again, observing everyone's lives..."

"I'm just curious! It's not like I'd ASK HER something so personal!" Press the X button to doubt, as the kids say. Infinite and Mephiles would mash that button if it were physical.

...........

A little later, the three would depart, and a bit after that would arrive at the little cottage that Cream and her mother called home.

"Well, we're here!" Lila smiled with the announcement of her presence, skipping up the decorative garden-barriered walkway. "Man, it's always so cozy here..."

"That's a word for it," Infinite eyed the home with a bit of distaste. Clearly, it was too cutesy for him. Mephiles also seemed a little...put off by the bright colors. He began to reach out, actually, for a flower, but Lila stopped him.

"Hey! Don't touch the flowers! Cream worked hard to plant those."

"...The child planted these?" Mephiles seemed...curious. Weird.

"Yes, and I don't need you upsetting her before we even get inside." Lila scolded him. Still, her attention was caught by the front door opening, and a very tall rabbit stepping out.

"Miss Lila, is that you?" the woman spoke with a restful expression; probably a demeanor unfitting of her greeting two ex-villains and the singular and irresponsible thing keeping them from returning to said villainy. Yeah, Lila was that singular thing, somehow.

"Ah! Miss Vanilla!" Lila beamed, "You look lovely today!"

"Thank you, dear. Please, all of you - do come in..." She opened her front door a tad wider, and Lila gestured for her partners to follow as she walked inside. The interior was comfortable, but somehow bigger than the outside had implied. "Cream shouldn't be any trouble for you today...In fact, she seems quite excited to see you."

"Oh, she could never be any trouble." Lila shook her head. "She's so sweet, after all...Where is she now?"

"Ah, she's in her room with Cheese and Chocola..."

"Well, we'll go see her, then." Lila nodded, and started towards the hallway.

"Oh, do you know which room is hers?"

Vanilla gently called after her, and the feline stopped.

"Er...." Didn't think so. Vanilla would inform her, though, and they'd actually make their way there.

Voices were audible, once getting closer - well, one mobian voice, and two chao voices. "Cheese, please pass the sugar."

"Chao, chao!"

"Thank you. More tea, Chocola?"

"Chao, chao, chaaao!"

"Certainly!"

"Tea parties..." Infinite grimaced, but Lila shushed him.

"You will enjoy a lovely tea party with Cream, Finni." She smiled in a way he did not exactly feel emotionally supported by. "And you'll play dress up, eat her toy cooking, compliment her pictures, give her friendship bracelets..."

"Joyous day. Shall I allow her piggyback riding as well?"

"Oh! Great idea!"

Infinite's hand brought itself to his face. There was no backing out now, was there? Absolutely not, and it was worthless to even ask.

"Hi Cream!" Lila popped her head into the room, followed by stepping in with a bit of a sway in her movements. "And Cheese and Chocola, of course! I hope I'm not interrupting..."

"Oh, hello Miss Lila!" The soft spoken little rabbit smiled - although, she actually wasn't much shorter than Lila. Lila was small for an adult mobian, you see. "Please don't worry! You're always an invited guest."

She then blinked as Infinite peered his head in behind Lila. Lila glanced at the Jackal. "Oh, um...I brought along some friends - is that alright, Cream?" She smiled a tad...nervously now.

Cream tilted her head. "Hm? Oh!" Another blink, and a surprised expression. "Of course, Miss Lila! I'm sorry for staring, Mister Infinite. Please, do come in."

Infinite hesitated, seeming to be more on edge than before. Lila, on the other hand, relaxed tremendously. Then, Cream spoke again.

"Miss Lila, you said you brought friends...But I only see you and Mister Infinite."

Lila glanced around. "Ah - oop - one second. Mephy, where are you?" The cat moved to leave and search...Leaving Infinite and a child alone.

A child, to be specific, who knew all about the destruction and fear he had caused. Infinite could only give a feeble, fleeting prayer that she at least hadn't witnessed it first hand.

Yet the girl said nothing to him, really. For all he knew as she turned back to her Chao, her intentions were to ignore him. Maybe for the first time in his stubborn life, Infinite was fine with no acknowledgement. He watched her pick up another little teacup and fill it with some apple juice - sorry, tea - with just as sweet a smile as before. Infinite figured it was for Lila, and tilted his head to gaze around the tiny little room.

"...Here you are, Mister Infinite."

The direct referral certainly took him off guard. He looked back at Cream, bewildered at her offering out the teacup she had just poured. "...What?"

"It's for you. I do insist you drink it while it's hot."

Infinite blinked, but took it in his hands with more gentleness than maybe anyone expected. But Cream did not waver. She retained her pleasant demeanor and seemed delighted he took the tea. "I..." Infinite averted his eyes. "...Thank you, Miss Cream."

What had he gotten himself into?!

...........

Meanwhile, Lila was hunting down Mephiles. It seemed to her like he'd just vanished! Not unlike him, but not convenient right now. Lila did run into Vanilla, though, who seemed to be taking care of chores while she waited for her date to arrive.

"Um, Miss Vanilla...Did you see Mephiles come through here?"

"Mh? Mephiles?" Vanilla turned to the cat with a thoughtful frown. "I'm afraid not. Perhaps he stepped outside?"

"Hmm..." Lila tapped her chin, gaze shifting to the doorway. "It is possible. He showed interest in Cream's flowers earli - AH!" Lila's shout caught Vanilla off guard, but the cat didn't notice the concern and rushed out towards the front of the cottage again.

As Lila very naturally and accurately predicted based on the presented clues (she praised herself for such cunning intellect), Mephiles was crouched by a patch of flowers. Immediately, she panicked. Knowing Mephiles, he had turned Cream's precious garden to gooey shadow or crystalized it or...

....Or perhaps he was helping them grow? The flowers looked taller than before, and very much blooming vibrantly. Lila blinked, confused. "Um...Mephy?"

Mephiles looked up at Lila upon her approach. As he stood, she noticed a fading purple from his hand, and she deduced a usage of his powers. (All this exaggerated journalism vocabulary was getting tiresome.)

"Did you, um...?" She pointed to the flowers. Mephiles nodded. Lila pursed her lips. "...So my next question is how you did that."

"It's simple." Mephiles replied, "I have a decent control over time and space...I chose to manipulate the growth of the plant to a more notable appearance."

"...Notable?"

"They were unimpressive before."

Lila stared at him. He stared back, as blank as ever. Finally, she sighed. "Okay, well. Let's get back inside now."

Mephiles nodded, abd the two started for the front door...but their destination would be reached first by someone else. Lila instantly recognized the culprit, and all the clues came together at last.

What clues, the audience asked? (What audience it is remains irrelevant to Lila's thought process.) Well, to go over them...Lila was used to Vanilla taking Cream out when she had to leave the house, meaning whomever she was going on a date with had romantic intent. Vanilla had many friends who could've watched Cream, and not just Lila's mismatched trio. Finally, Lila just remembered she technically owed someone ten bucks.

With all this, it was finally clear! Vanilla was going on a date with Vector the Crocodile. Sure enough, the tall green reptile was strolling up the walk, bouquet in hand, possibly listening to music based on his rhythm filled walk cycle. However...He froze at the sight of Lila, and quickly turned his headphones off.

"You?! What're you doing here?"

"Watching a child." Lila replied confidently. Vector blinked, his eyes shifting to Mephiles. Lila rolled her eyes. "Not him. I mean Cream."

"Alright, yeah, okay. That makes more sense." Vector rubbed his forehead. "What're ya being hired to watch 'er for, though? Can't she get Amy?"

"I'm making up the ten I owe you." That was not the real reason, but Vector bought it. Well, whatever.

Vector and Vanilla would have to be on their way, so there was hardly time for more chit-chat. Lila had more hope in herself, and she guessed she kind of had hope in her companions, too. Mephiles would likely please Cream with having helped her flowers, and as for Infinite...

Lila paused.

"...You think we would be able to ditch him here?" She turned to Mephiles hopefully. "Maybe instead we could follow Vector and Vanilla and take notes for blackm..."

Mephiles now gave a chill inducing effect in his stare, and Lila shivered.

"Joking, I was joking. Let's go back inside."

#ok 2 reblog #🐱✏️ lila kitty (self insert)#💍🤍 ruby romance (infinite the jackal)#🦔🖤 crystalline goop (mephiles the dark)#kermitwriting #ask to tag

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