#『 answered : amma : all. 』

[rambheem-is-real]

Saiga Okadu, Sainyam Okadu

A Salaar fic

pairing: Varadeva

warnings: mentions of depression, suicidal thoughts

-

Varadha stares in despair as he watches the truck cross the gates of Khansaar, taking with it the boy that had been Varadha’s entire world for the past few years. 

A part of him wants to run after him, screaming to all who can hear, Come back! I need you here! 

But Varadha knows this is for the best. His own father had sent men to kill Deva and his mother, and had already killed Dhaara. There was no telling what his father would do to Deva after realizing that Varadha had given up precious land for him. Not that Varadha regretted that action, he would have given up anything if it meant Amma and Deva could live. 

It’s okay, he’ll be safe now, he tries to tell himself, but he can’t stop the tears from falling as he gets into his car. He barely registers the driver starting the journey back home as it finally hits that his Deva is gone. 

-

“Why did you give up the land?” 

Varadha has never been more afraid, yet angry at his father. There’s nothing he can say that won’t implicate Deva, and there’s nothing he can say to get himself out of this situation. So he goes with the tactic he uses whenever Deva isn’t with him. The weight of silence gives him relief. 

“Why won’t you answer?” Raja Mannar looks like he’s reached his last straw, and Varadha is proven right when pain suddenly explodes on his cheek, and he reels back from the blow, dropping to his knees. He keeps his eyes on the ground in front of him, and stays just like that, unmoving.

Eventually Raja Mannar calls guards to throw him out of the court. 

“Varadharaja Mannar has given up all of his rights to be a Dora, and to be a member of this family,” Varadha hears his father proclaim to the audience behind him as he’s dragged out. 

Good riddance, he thinks.

-

At first, Varadha tried to pretend he was above engaging with his brothers. Rudra was relentless in his insults, and many others in the court soon followed Rudra. 

It’s okay, it’s only for a few more years, Varadha thinks. He knows it’s not true, but he has to stay strong. He doesn’t have Deva anymore, but he can do it. He’s a survivor. Varadha has been fighting his family all his life, from even before he met Deva. He can do it again.

The years pass.

It’s okay, Varadha thinks as he gets hot tea dumped on him from a shopowner that he realized too late was a friend of Ranga’s. 

It’s okay, Varadha thinks as he is made to stand with his arms crossed in the hot sun, waiting for Rudra to let him go. 

It’s only for a few more years, Varadha thinks as he tears his gaze away from his gun, and closes his eyes. His fingers shake with the effort to keep the muzzle away from his own temple. He can’t. They can beat him, they can humiliate him, but they can’t take away his dignity. Not yet, anyway. And besides, what would happen to Baachi if Varadha wasn’t there? His darling little brother, part of a group of very few people that genuinely cared about him, and the only remnant of his birth mother. Varadha had made himself a bigger target on purpose so Baachi would be relatively safe, but he has no delusions that his cruel brothers wouldn’t hesitate to tear Baachi apart with Varadha gone. 

He throws the gun away, hears it shatter against the walls of his room, and thinks about a boy he had once loved. A boy that had sheltered Varadha from all of this, a boy that had made Varadha hope for a better life, even for the very throne of Khansaar. That boy is gone. 

You could call him back, a traitorous voice whispers in his head. He promised to come back, for you. 

No. Deva was his savior, his best friend. It was because of Varadha’s family that Deva’s own had been torn apart. Deva had protected Varadha, and now Varadha would do the same for Deva. He didn’t need to come back, could live in peace with Amma wherever he was. 

Is he happy? Varadha thinks. He hopes so. If he is, then all of this is worth it. 

-

Raja Mannar had left. 

Varadha didn’t care much for anything, these days. He was paying attention to the politics of the court, of course, but nothing else interested him. Oftentimes he heard Baachi scolding him for not waking up early enough in the morning, or forgetting to take meals, but in his defense the days had started to blend together. Varadha didn’t think he was capable of feeling strong emotions at this point, and he supposed that’s what happened when you lived in a constant state of anxiety and fear for a few decades. At some point there’s nothing your enemies can do to surprise you.

And that’s exactly when they surprised him. 

Varadha tried to fight, he really did. But Rudra, Ranga, and the others outnumbered Varadha and his men almost twenty to one. As he was forced onto his knees, and Rudra’s calloused hands gripped his nose ring, Varadha thought this was the end. At least he was going with Baachi and the people that had stayed loyal to him. If this was his death, then be it. 

He had not expected the ringing of the Khansaar bell, the ceasefire announcement, or the slight disappointment he had felt at realizing his last few days alive would be spent trying not to die like a sheep. 

Varadha wanted to cry. 

Well, I can still feel sadness, a small part of him thinks. 

Not for himself, of course. But he had always wanted Baachi to be spared. Who could protect him now?

He thinks again of the boy who had protected Varadha as a child. 

Deva… could help Baachi. 

No, he had already decided to keep Deva away from Khansaar. 

But Baachi would live. 

Varadha sighs, feeling the weight of all the years he spent alive. He had no other choice, then. 

-

Varadha walks into the mechanic shop, not knowing what to expect. 

He recognizes who he came for immediately. 

Although Deva has grown, Varadha can still see the confident manner in which the other man carries himself, the broad shoulders that Varadha had thrown his arm over countless times, the care with which he handles whatever tools he’s using. 

Maybe he doesn’t even remember you. Maybe he’s so much better off here. 

Varadha’s stomach clenches, but he pushes past the fear. A memory comes to him, of a young Deva touching a live wire just to get Varadha his nose ring back, and he trusts that Varadha meant to Deva what Deva meant, and still means, to Varadha. 

His heart won’t calm down no matter what he tries, so he just ignores the nerves. He takes a deep breath. 

“Deva!” he calls. 

-

tags: @mad-who-ra @sada-siva-sanyaasi @deadloverscity @just-a-lazy-person @sambaridli

[newtonsheffield]

Loving this Mary and Tharman content in this au! How did Lady Sheffield react when she found out Mary was actually with the prince? How did she find out? How did Mary tell her it was actually nothing to do with her?

I think Mary’s mother’s head nearly exploded, to be honest.

And Mary had known that her mother would find out the second Kate had tugged her out of the receiving line and dragged her towards Tharm,an and his parents, waiting at the head. But she’d know everyone would know anyway. Why else would the Princess single Mary out? Kate rarely made public appearances, despite being the only child of the crown prince, the eventual heir. People would speculate anyway and it felt wrong in a way to deny it. So she’d reached forward and grabbed him by the lapels and brought his lips to hers.

Tharman had looked dazed when she’d pulled back and greeted his parents with a curtsy and a polite, Your majesties. He’d cleared his throat.

“Appa, Amma, Lady Mary Sheffield the ah… Earl of Sheffield’s daughter.”

He’d asked her before, if this was what she wanted and she’d told him only when he felt ready. She knew what it meant for him to stand here with his arm tucked gently around her waist and one of Kate’s hands in each of theirs. It was a declaration. It would be everywhere.

All she had to do was wait. And finally the call came when she had her head against Tharman’s chest on the sofa that night, Kate already in bed, her wearing his pyjamas her glasses on and contacts removed.

There was a knock at the door and Tharman’s secretary entered, looking flustered from the turn the day had taken. “Er… Lady Mary…”

Mary knew, “Is my mother on the phone?”

The woman nodded a little apologetically. “Should I… have it transferred…?”

“Here’s fine.” Tharman answered for her, sitting up with Mary, “Thank you, Clara.”

Mary sat forward, taking a deep breath, feeling Tharman’s warm hand on her back, soothing.

“You don’t have to talk to her. I’m not going to let her treat you like shit anymore, Mary.”

Mary shook her head, keeping her hand in his. “It’s fine.”

She reached out for the phone beside the sofa, taking a deep breath as she picked it up. “Mother, is everything alright?”

Her mother sighed down the phone, “Why don’t you tell me, Mary? Starting with why I couldn’t reach you at your flat but I could reach you at the Crown Prince’s private residence?”

Mary’s teeth bit into her lip, “Well, I think you know, Mama.”

Her mother let out an irritated noise, “Yes, and why did I find out about it by seeing a photograph of you, sat on the grass with his daughter while he held your handbag?”

“Well, you didn’t come to the party.”

Tharman chuckled beside her, squeezing her fingers tightly.

“Don’t take that attitude with me, Mary.” She tutted, “Well perhaps you deserve more credit than I gave you. Very smart to use his daughter to get to him.”

Mary froze, her voice cold, “I’m not using Kate. She’s sweet and a beautiful little girl and I love spending time with her.”

“Oh of course you do.” Her mother chuckled, “Clever. He’s just so attached to her.”

Mary nearly laughed at the absurdity of it. “Well, she is his daughter. Most people have fairly warm feelings towards their children.”

“Well, when do we get to meet him?”

Mary cleared her throat, anxiety churning her stomach. “I don’t know, Mama. He’s very busy. We’re very busy.”

“You’re too busy? For your Mother? I’m the reason you’re in this position.”

She steeled herself for it. “No, you aren’t, Mama. Tharman and I met and it had nothing to do with you. I’m not going to let you hold this over my head forever.”

Tharman squeezed her hand before he slid the phone from her grasp, “Lady Sheffield, I’m afraid I’m going to have you to stop speaking to my partner that way.”

Mary watched as he paused, irritation flickering over his face before he rolled his eyes, “I’m afraid she’ll be unable to attend. My parents also send their regrets. Have a lovely evening.”

He hung up the phone without waiting for a response, tossing it to the armchair across the way. “I know she’s your mother but that woman…”

Mary chuckled, leaning up to kiss him quickly. “She’s a nightmare. I was actually thankful for boarding school. I got a rest.”

Tharman groaned, tugging her back against his chest. “I’m never sending Kate to boarding school. I love being Appa. God I want more kids.”

Her heart fluttered, “You want more kids?”

He watched her carefully, “With you? Absolutely. Despite… Lady Sheffield, you’re incredible. You’re amazing with Kate, you love her so much and I… if that’s what you want; I want that too when we’re ready.”

And Mary could hardly breathe when she nodded. “I want that. When we’re ready.”

[trashcanwithsprinkles]

hi! I just wanted to know (i am currently starting chapter 10 of jadeite-). Is Zhongli's human form in this new world actually human?? Like has his soul transformed Zhongli Chen's human body into something more? I wonder as I've never seen Zhongli sleep (like he'll go meditate like he did whilde Guizhong was asleep after drinking) or read to learn more (as he did when he first found himself in a new world). Also, what kind of abilities does he still have? (this mlight have been explored in the latest chapters though- amma catch up!!).

Cause currently Zhongli seems to have much more power than did Chen (like Zhongli there is more linked towards the earth and can feel footsteps and stuff but other other things remained?)

right, good question! the body is human, but the soul isn't

that's the ultra short ultra simple version bc i think the answer is kinda long so i'll just put it under the cut

basically what that means is that chen zhongli's body itself hasn't changed. it's as human as all human bodies come, with the obvious exception that he was a damn good thaumaturge. this last bit is important, because power progression in thaumaturgy (at least in the hand-wavy artistic-liberty take of this fic lmao) sort of- shifts gears at a certain level. when they start training, thaumaturges are like the average person, with their spiritual channels undeveloped. as they train, they're trying to do two things: 1st, develop those spiritual channels, and 2nd, accrue spiritual energy for their own energy pool. but spiritual channels have a limit in that you cannot infinitely develop them. they don't grow forever, they eventually cap out, so to speak, at a certain point. kinda like if you were building a waterway, and at a certain point you stop expanding it and reinforcing it, because it's now good enough to sustain any amount of water that will flow through it regardless of quantity

and so once they cap out their spiritual channels development, the rest of their core basic training revolves almost entirely around accruing more energy for their pool. the energetic pool is the one that is functionally infinite, so they can theoretically just keep gathering energy forever. this is what allows some really good thaumaturges to live longer (but not forever. this is explained in the latest chapter so you'll get there).

anyway- the reason any of this is relevant is that chen zhongli was at that point: his spiritual channels were capped out, and he was only working to gather more energy. he was in the home stretch so to speak (which is why he was sort of a prodigy given most thaumaturges don't get there until like- much later in life). so by virtue of having had a body that was essentially perpared to have infinte energy inside of it (but didn't), when zhongli got there with his soul intact and his spiritual energy pool being MASSIVE bc godhood etc; he sort of just fit right in, needing to change nothing about the body itself. all that really happened is that chen zhongli's pool of energy got suddenly filled with zhongli's energy but not really. it's- uh. complicated? idk if it would count as a spoiler bc given the latest chapter i feel like most of you can probably guess there's something going on here? anyway- just know zhongli's energy is in that body, it's just sort of... detached. since he's technically a foreign soul, his energy is sort of confined to his soul; but since his soul is in the body, it, for the most part, works exactly the same way it would if it was his own body. god idk if that makes sense- like i said, it's complicated. for those who read the latest chapter, what this means is that zhongli's energetic pool hasn't integrated with the body itself, so it hasn't turned it into a spiritual vessel (which would've happened if it had integrated itself, bc his pool is, again, massive, and therefore meets the requirements for it) anyway,

chen zhongli's soul is gone. regardless of where it actually is, zhongli is the only soul in that body – as he mentions at the start of the fic, since he's a geo being at his core, he can't exactly fit inside a body with another soul in it. kinda like... his soul is too big, so the body has to be empty for him to fit.

the reason zhongli hasn't been sleeping is because he doesn't need to. i think this was mentioned in another ask and also in one of the fic's end notes tho i can't recall which chapter; but basically, with enough spiritual energy, thaumaturges can make their bodies subsist entirely off of it. so while yes chen zhongli would've needed to sleep bc while powerful he still didn't have enough energy to bypass it; zhongli doesn't. zhongli has more than enough energy to keep the body in tiptop shape with his own energy alone. you can think of it like plugging your phone to charge. other thaumaturges don't have access to a charging chord at all times, so they have to plug in (sleep) to recharge. but zhongli works off of solar energy so he's always at full battery if that makes any sense. like he just has infinite battery, so he never needs to plug in. though i guess the analogy only makes sense if zhongli is a solar panel addon to the normal phone that is chen zhongli's body- but i think you get the idea LMAO

as for abilities that he still retains, they're all sort of tied to his nature as a dragon, like sensing intent in food. i'm pretty sure this hasn't really been properly explained outside of- since geo as an energy doesn't really exist, there are some geo abilities that he's lost (like the sensing ability). but not all of them. the issue here is that he was a being OF geo, so some 'geo' abilities are innate to him one way or the other, like commanding rocks and metals and other stuff, but not literally creating rocks. the sensing ability being lost is more a byproduct of the tectonic plates being different honestly. and obviously he's lost his ability to transform so

anyway uhhhhh TL;DR: zhongli didn't change chen zhongli's body bc the body was trained enough to sustain any amount of energy inhabiting it, so zhongli fit right in – since he's also technically still a foreign entity, his energy hasn't fully combined with the body, so he has left it intact. he doesn't sleep because his absurd amounts of energy allow him to sustain the body entirely off of them, and while he's lost some abilities tied to the other teyvat and him having had a non-human body before, he has retained some of them that were based off of his soul.

[nago21]

Prologue

Varadha's Pov

The few men I brought with me stood outside, giving me the privacy I needed. The door shut down behind me as I stepped into the garage. My eyes zeroed on the man standing alone working on the car. Deva... My Deva stood there, so close after so long, with his back facing me.

I was hesitant to call out Deva's name. That would mean that this is real. Do I really want to bring him with me back to Khansaar? From the very place I tried to keep him away from all these years. Does he remember me? Would he even come if I asked?

All the old memories played in my head.

"Deva!" I called out, voice shaking.

The hammer stopped.

"Do you remember me?" I asked.

"There are only two people in the world who call me Deva. One is my Amma, and the other is Varadha Raja Mannar." A deep voice answered back.

The tall figure turned. The pictures that my informants brought back really did not do him any justice. He looked much more handsome standing there. A soft look in his eyes as he stared at me. All thoughts went out of my head then. My feet carried me towards him before I even knew it. I hid my face in his neck. His arms enclosed my body into his until there was no space left between us.

After so long, I felt safe. Deva is protection. I don't know how I could live without it for so long. I kept myself strong and built the walls around me so no one could see through. However, the walls surounding me crumbled down easily as I stood in his arms and tears welled in my eyes. After all these years, my eyes finally teared. The last time was as I saw Deva and Amma leave Khansaar while I stood there helpless not being able to go with them.

Deva must have felt my tears on his shoulders as his arms tighened around me.

"Sssshh... Don't cry. You know I can't see tears in your eyes."

I knew everything would be alright then.

Should I continue?

[scryarchives]

𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐜𝐤 - 𝐣𝐚𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐲𝐞𝐬 | 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟐

khaji-da mentioned something about the new girl 'drea' being dangerous, but what did she mean by 'dangerous'? and how dangerous could she be if she's best friends with his very own sister?

masterlist | previous , next !

– pairings: jaime reyes x oc

– warning: fluff, canon divergent, blue beetle movie spoilers

– author's note: more of a filler chapter haha. disclaimer: i don't speak Spanish, so please do correct me if i am wrong! read more under the cut! :)

A couple of weeks had passed since the Tlatilpas had come over to the Reyes household. Unfortunately, Anika (or as she asked Jaime to call her “Aunt Anika”) was the only one over as her wife Zara had been too exhausted from the drive to Palmera City.

As nice as their family was from what he gathered, Jaime couldn’t help but let what Khaji-Da told him that day weigh his mind down. He sat on his bed, laptop open on the plush bed sheet as he gnawed the end of his pencil, brows furrowed in thought and confusion.

What did she mean by ‘she’s dangerous’? Did Khaji mean Drea specifically? Or her entire family?

“This ‘Drea’ you worry about, she’s the dangerous one.”

Jaime rolled his eyes. Of course, the blue bug alien bonded to him and responded to him when everything was peaceful and quiet in his home.

“Okay, you’ve said that already, but a little specifics would be nice,” He shrugged sarcastically at the little robotic voice in his head. “I mean, dangerous how? Does she have connections to harmful people? She’s got machinery that can endanger us? What–”

“I scanned her DNA while you were shaking hands,” Khaji-Da cut Jaime off, the male glaring incredulously at the voice.

“First off, we need to set some boundaries, Khaji. You can’t keep scanning all these people without my acknowledgement. It’s creepy and overall weird. Second, how would that make her dangerous? She’s human too.”

“Incorrect.”

“What? You’re saying I’m wrong about scanning people being inappropriate–”

“She’s not one hundred per cent human,” Khaji-Da answered once more, this time, her answer left Jaime on edge. 

“She’s approximately fifty per cent alien.”

“Milagro! What’s up? How’s my favourite Reyes doin’?” Drea chuckled, her dark waves bouncing behind her in her high ponytail. The bracelets on her wrists ‘clinked’ together as she and the youngest Reyes high-fived, grins wide on their faces.

“¡Soy bien! You?”

The two shared a handshake, and despite their fast friendship, they got along well, like two peas in a pod.

“Meh, could be better,” She chuckled, rubbing her upper arm. “My Amma had a whole list of chores for me to do, so my arms are completely wiped out.”

“Ah man, I get you,” Milagro scoffed, nudging shoulders with her best friend. “Hey, you wanna come in? I’m sure we got something we could watch together.”

“Yeah, of course! Oh, by the way,” Milagro perked up, seeing Drea halt. “I almost forgot, Amma made some snacks a few days ago, so she asked me to bring some to you.”

It was then that Milagro realised that Drea was carrying a backpack and the Latina walked over to help hold the item up as Drea pulled out a little transparent container with a red twist-on lid.

“It’s more of a traditional snack from her home town? Country? One of those,” The older woman shrugged. “It’s called murukku, not sure if you’ve heard of it, but it’s one of my favourites. Vadai’s a close second.”

Milagro hummed at the spiral-looking snack, smiling kindly at her friend.

“Aw, look at you all soft for me! I’m gonna hide this in my room forever so that no one else in my family will ever take a bite,” She grinned before it fell. “Actually, better not. My mom is gonna kill me if she finds food in my room.”

“Oh, I know how that feels,” Drea chuckles, the two walking into the Reyes’ humble abode.

“Mom! Drea’s here!” Milagro called out, the woman smiling sweetly the moment Bianca entered her view.

“Hi, Mrs Reyes! Thanks for having me over,” She pulls her bag over one shoulder in slight nervousness, Bianca smiling widely at the girl.

“Oh, it’s no problem, Drea! It’s always wonderful to have a friend of Mili’s over!”

“Her mom made us snacks. No one touches it before I do, please,” Milagro huffed, placing the transparent container on the table as her mom eyed the snack curiously.

“Alright, mija, but there’s no controlling the rest of the family,” Bianca laughed, Milagro rolling her eyes with both love and annoyance as she led her friend towards her little room.

“Did you know I found a stray the other day? Surprisingly, both my moms let me keep him,” Drea whispered to Milagro, hoping to distract her.

“Oh seriously? What’d you name him?” Milagro looked over at Drea in slight surprise. 

“Sparky von Cocoa the First, but Sparky’s just for short.”

“I need pictures of him. ASAP.”

“Hey Mils, you hungry?” Drea glanced over at Milagro, seeing her friend lying beside her, stomach flat on the bed as her eyes were still glued to the computer, invested in the series the Latina was introduced to named “Never Have I Ever”.

“Uh… I could get a drink, do you want one?” Milagro raised her eyebrows, glancing up at Drea, who shook her head.

“Nah it’s fine, I can get it. You’re too invested to miss anything,” Drea teased, pushing herself up from her cross-legged position. “And I’ve already watched all the episodes up to date, so I’m good.”

“Wow, you do not have a life.”

“I know I don’t,” Drea chuckled, opening her best friend’s room door, and walking out into the corridor.

As soon as she turned around, she noticed that she was face to face with the other Reyes descendent, Jaime’s eyes widened in surprise to see the neighbour’s daughter standing in his home.

“Jaime, hi,” She flashed him a quick smile, and Jaime cleared his throat.

“Hey, uhm, Drea!” He held an awkward smile of his own, eyes guarded. “What’re you doing here? Is Milagro alright?”

“Yeah, she’s fine. Was gonna get us drinks.”

“Cool.”

Then silence hung over their heads, neither adult looking at the other before Drea crossed her arms, lifting her left arm to point her thumb in the direction of the kitchen.

“So uh, does Milagro have a specific drink she likes here? Or should I drop by the convenience store to get it?” She asked with genuine curiosity that Jaime almost believed that she was completely human.

Unlike what Khaji warned him about.

“We got uh… something in the fridge that she’ll like.” 

Jaime once again smiled, albeit he smiled flatly, heading out of the corridor, and into the dining area. Trailing him to get the drinks, Drea filled herself a cup of water, eyeing Jaime curiously as the male rushed around the area, as though he was looking for someone.

“How’s life?”

Jaime snapped up, humming before zoning back to her presence. He looked a little lost before he finally registered her question all while fidgeting slightly.

“It’s… life. Nothing much really. Job hunting, trying to keep things afloat,” He answered before heading towards the front door.

“Oh seriously? You’re looking for work too? That’s great,” Drea chimed, brushing off Jaime’s behaviour as nervousness. “Do you think it’d be fine if Milagro and I join you for the search?”

“I mean,” Jaime’s eyes darted to the door as he turned around to answer. “Mili and I were already working that out together but uh, yeah, you’re welcome to join.”

“Great, that’s… yeah, thanks,” Drea smiled gratefully back while Jaime nodded hurriedly.

A silence fell between them once more, Jaime tapping his wrist in urgency, yet he stayed in case there was more conversation she tried to start. Just to confirm, he spoke up, Drea keeping her glass away in the sink as she picked up another full glass of water for her friend in the room.

“Is there anything else you need to ask or…?”

“Ah, nope, I’m done,” Drea shook her head, her eyes widening in realisation of his situation. “Oh, shit, sorry for the hold up.”

Before she could say anything else, Jaime told her his response while walking out, the door slamming shut as she heard his voice ring out for the last time.

“You’re good, no worries!”

As soon as the front door was shut and he had walked out of view of anyone, Jaime sighed as his suit, unfortunately, burning his current clothes off, annoyance filling him. 

He had to speak to Khaji about that, there was no way he could keep buying new clothes for each week.

“I thought you would never leave.”

Speak of the Devil.

“Look, she was nice,” Jaime muttered, the helmet forming over his head. “And she’s Milagro’s friend, I can’t be not nice for no reason.”

“She is an alien. There is a reason to not be nice to her,” Khaji-Da responded with a know-it-all tone, Jaime rolling his eyes.

“That’s rich coming from you. Just tell Mama that I’ll be late for dinner.”

gif by @rob-pattinson

taglist: @mooncleaver

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[ahundredtimesover]

Hiiii how is the love after!couple doing? 🥺💜

Are the girls healthy and happy? 🥺🥺 Guk-ah how is fatherhood going? 💜💜

It's been a while but here we are! I did a reread of TLA and i.hurt.so.much that I just had to write this bc I needed my own closure for all the pain 🥺 so here's a sneak peak into fatherhood and something more. (warning: animal hunting [sorry, rabbits!], sexual content)

Title: The Love After Drabble (06): Do you think it'll ever go away? The guilt of what I've done? || You're reminded of your past

WC: 7,579

From: The Love After (werewolf!JK x human!reader)

##

“Daddy, I want to be a pink wolf!”

“I want to be yellow!”

“But what if you don’t want to be yellow anymore?”

“What if you don’t want to be pink?”

You’ve opened the door by the time your daughters yell out in unison, “daddy, can we change our colors when we get older?”

You gaze at a wide-eyed Jungkook as he sits on the living room floor with Eunjoo and Hayoon on his lap, his mouth open then closing, perhaps trying to figure out how to tell his kids that, no, they can’t be either of those colors; neither can they change them.

He looks back at the 2 pairs of curious eyes and smiles. “Why don’t we ask Amma later, okay?”

“Okay!” They both squeal, turning to face you with a greeting and then focusing on their works again.

Jungkook stands up and helps you with the produce-filled bags and places them on the dining table. 

“We were just coloring and then they decided they wanted to be pink and yellow wolves,” he pouts at you. “I didn’t have the heart to tell them they can’t.”

“Yeah, so you’re gonna let Amma be the one to tell them?” You chuckle. “Back in my day, it was the ‘where did we come from’ question that my parents didn’t wanna answer. Amusing to think that now it’s this.”

“It’s just them, though,” Jungkook sighs. “I don’t think any of the other pups in this town want to have bright-colored fur or something.”

“They’re 3 years old, Kook,” you cup his cheek. “They’re being creative and imaginative and that’s normal when they have parents who read them stories every night. They’ll eventually learn the truth and they would’ve outgrown wanting to become pink or yellow or rainbow-colored wolves by then. So you don’t have to worry about disappointing them, okay?”

You know that’s what he’s more worried about - breaking your daughters’ hearts. It’s the one thing he can’t bear to do, and so many times you’ve had to talk about him learning to say no to them, otherwise they’ll grow up thinking that they could get anything they want, and that’s not the kind of world they live in. 

“Fine,” he gives in. “But I’ll really have them ask Amma so I don’t have to answer and see their disappointed faces.”

“Oh, Kook,” you hug him, wanting to comfort your mate who’s made it his goal to always make your daughters laugh and smile. “You’re doing great, okay? We are. I mean, look at them. At that age, Baram was constantly bullying me.”

You and Jungkook laugh as you both soften at the sight of your daughters who exchanged coloring books so they can decorate and draw on what their sister just did. They like sharing things with each other, and that includes their own creations. They like complimenting and hugging each other, too.

“Anyway, was your market run good?” He asks, walking to the kitchen to get the late breakfast dishes that he prepared for all 4 of you. 

“Yes,” you grin. “They finally have persimmons and oranges. I got more fruits and vegetables, too. All for half the price.”

“Perks of being the Beta’s mate,” he winks. 

“Obviously, although I think we would’ve gotten them for free if you were the one who went to buy,” you laugh. 

That wouldn’t be far from the truth. The whole town loves Jungkook, especially those who work at the market because he’s the one who makes sure that their harvests are safe from wild animals. They claim it’s just right that he doesn’t pay much for it; they earn due to his protection, after all. 

“That’s true, but those 2 didn’t want to let me go,” he smiles, thinking back to earlier in the morning. He checked on them in their new bedrooms and they woke up, immediately hugging him.

“They’ve missed you,” you say. “We were at my parents’ for an entire week because you decided to be all ‘father of the century’ by building the second floor so they could have a bigger room. You were gone most of the days and they just want to be with you.”

Jungkook shyly smiles and you melt when he does. He kept his promise of building a second story to accommodate your children. He built 3 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms upstairs and you were blown away when he revealed it to you and your daughters the other day. They squealed in excitement because they could finally have a big space for all their toys. 

You don’t know how Jungkook managed to do it in such a short time, but perhaps that has a lot to do with all the help from the townspeople and members of the pack. He rarely ever asks  for help, Taehyung told you, so when he inquired about plumbing and bathroom tiles, people were quick to offer. 

The second floor is stunning and you’re still in the process of designing it. But it took so much of Jungkook’s time, and so when your daughters woke up to their daddy’s voice, you’re sure they were ecstatic to spend the morning with him, too.

“They seem to like their room a lot,” Jungkook hums. “We were playing there earlier and they asked me to make a dresser and a chest for their things. I’ve got designs in my head already and I can’t wait to make them.”

“How are our daughters just 3 yet they already know what they want and how to get it?” You chuckle. Sure, they grow almost twice as fast as normal humans do, but still, a lot of the things they do surprises you.

“They get it from you,” he laughs now. “And they probably know that I’d do anything for them. I tell them every night.”

“I really hope we’re not raising spoiled kids, Kook,” you furrow your brows. 

“We aren’t. You’ll make sure of that.”

“Hey!” You nudge his knee. “I’m not the only one who’s gonna keep them in place.”

“Fine, fine. We both will,” he smiles. 

Parenting werewolves is not easy, and for a time, Jungkook didn’t think he’d ever be having this conversation with his mate. Neither did he think he’d ever be able to make this cabin feel like a home for a family, and now, there’s 2 storeys of it filled with nothing but warmth and love that all 4 of you share. He can’t wait to share it with more.

Eunjoo and Hayoon go to you once you call them, and they haven’t really outgrown sitting on both your laps during meals so they could hug you while they eat. 

It’s one of your favorite things as a parent, you think, as Hayoon wraps her arms around your neck after a mouthful of grilled fish and rice. She goes back to sitting on your lap to feed herself, and then lays her head on your chest. Eunjoo does something similar with Jungkook, and you both share a look as if to say that you both did this. 

All those times of having them sleep in between you and Jungkook and reading them stories and humming them lullabies; all those afternoons of laying on the grass while you all make out the shapes of the clouds; all those evenings of sitting on the couch at the porch, hugging each other under the light blanket - perhaps both your daughters keep all these moments as memories, too, and their affection is all the love they’re returning because of your love that they feel everyday. 

“Daddy, will you take us to Amma? I want to ask about our fur,” Eunjoo looks at him sweetly.

You stifle a laugh as Jungkook sighs. 

“Yes, angel. I’ll take you and your sister to her,” he says, hugging her back after she squeals. “And you can play with your cousins and the other kids there, too.”

It’s a Saturday, after all, and a lot of families go to the pack house and Amma’s residence to gather over food and conversations while the pups listen to stories and play around the garden by the pond. It’s like a daycare center there, and you’re glad there’s a place for your children to grow and learn about themselves where they’re safe and comfortable.

“I have a meeting with my brothers,” he turns to you. “Are you sure you don’t need my help at your parents’?”

“No need,” you assure him. “Mother just needs someone to carry around furniture and boxes since she wants a repaint. I can handle it.”

Jungkook nods and you both return to your meals, chuckling when the kids slurp their bowls dry and then finish a large piece of orange each. You decide to clean up in the kitchen while he gives them both a bath, and you all spend time choosing the girls’ outfits for today’s afternoon at the pack house. 

“Bye, mommy!” They both yell, kissing you sweetly before jumping into their father’s arms. “We’ll see you later!”

You kiss Jungkook and watch them get in the car, gushing at how attached your children are to both of you. 

You get back in the cabin and look around, checking every corner to see if there’s something you need to clean or put in order. After rearranging some things, you head out to the backyard and see the remaining slabs of wood that Jungkook didn’t use for the second floor. Those might be for your daughters’ chest and dresser, you think. Some of his tools are still outside, including the one ax that he accidently broke. 

You’re reminded again of all the work Jungkook did to continuously make this place a home for your family, and you don’t think you can ever thank him enough. You suppose that a good dinner of rabbit stew and some chicken spinach pies would be a good start. 

**

“Just a little more to the left,” your mother instructs you, and you do as she says before she releases another breath. “Good, you did it. You’re fine.”

“You do know I have superhuman strength now, right?” You laugh at her, knowing that she tends to still worry whenever you lift heavy things. “I can do all this and not break a sweat.”

“I know, my dear. I still need a lot of getting used to,” she smiles. “Both my daughters are incredibly strong beings and well, good on us for not needing to hire more people to fix the house.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll try to learn to paint for you,” you tease. “Jungkook could be your foreman or something.”

“Ah, I don’t want to add to his responsibilities anymore,” she hums. “He’s doing so much fixing your own place and being an amazing father to your 2 girls. He needs to spend the remaining time he has of not working and patrolling with you.”

“I know, but it’s not a big deal,” you assure her. “We spend time together as much as we can. And it’s been a tough few months for him, too; he’s just been needing care and reassurance more than anything. Being mates allows us to just know what the other needs, you know?”

“That’s good,” your mother smiles, cupping your cheek as she walks towards you. “And you’re good at that - giving care and reassurance.”

“Am I already?” You wonder out loud. 

You hate to think of a time when it wasn’t the case, and the thought of those months of ignoring Jungkook, shutting him out, and putting him in danger causes an ache in your heart. You’ve tried to make up for all those times but you don’t know if anything you do will also ever be enough. 

“Of course, my dear,” she nudges you, acting upset that you’d think otherwise. “He wouldn’t be looking as happy as he does whenever he talks about you if you weren’t. It makes my mornings.”

“And when does this happen?” You arch an eyebrow.

“During the days when he comes over some with meat after a hunt. About twice a week,” she informs you. “He has that glimmer in his eyes, you know? It makes me so thankful that you were fated to him. I just knew he’d love you so well, the kind that would let someone as hurt as you open up completely to him and love him just as much.”

The words are meant to be comforting, and you know your mother means well - she laid witness to you shutting out the entire world after all, and she’d been one of those to ask you to give Jungkook a chance. You just can’t help sometimes but think of how hurt he must’ve been feeling so unwelcomed, unwanted.

You’ll never know what that’s like; that’s the last thing Jungkook would ever make you feel. Even when he’s hurt and dealing with his own pains, he seeks for you. 

Like that time a townsman was attacked by a wild boar, leaving him in critical condition, and Jungkook blamed himself for failing to protect him. Or just recently when Mr. Roi, the owner of the workshop he works at, passed away due to an aneurysm and Jungkook was upset that he hadn't sensed it sooner. 

He was hard on himself both times but he let you hold him. He was upset and grieving but he let you comfort him. He let you share all that pain with him, and not once did you feel like he wanted to go through all that on his own. 

“You okay, sweetie?” Your mother’s voice cuts through your thoughts. 

“Yeah, just… thinking. You’re right,” you manage a smile. “Jungkook loves with all of him. The girls and I are so lucky.”

“Well, they’re lucky they have you, too,” she comforts, kissing your forehead. “So I was wondering… what do you think about redesigning your bedroom so it could accommodate your family? Perhaps getting rid of your desk and bookshelf to fit 2 double beds?”

“What for?”

“Well, your father and I were thinking that it would be nice to have you and your sister and your families here some weekends,” your mother says. “Your kids are growing so, so fast and we don’t want to blink and miss all that. And well, it gets lonely here sometimes. And with your grandfather gone…” she trails, her voice dropping low at the thought of how much she misses him. “It’s just… we want to spend time with all of you, all at once. Is that alright?”

“That sounds good,” you say. “The girls will outgrow the double bed but uh, maybe sometime in the future, we could build an extra room just off the living room? Or we could convert grandfather’s—”

“No,” she interjects. “I mean, not yet. I’m… I’m not yet ready to let him go like that.”

You mirror the sadness in her eyes, and though it broke you when your grandfather passed, you can’t imagine how it must’ve been for your mother who’s spent all her life with him. You understand wanting to keep people who have passed in spaces, in things. It lets us feel like they’re still here. 

“Okay,” you say. “We can redesign the rooms. I’ll ask Jungkook to help out one weekend.”

Your mother returns your smile and you both get back to work, emptying the living room so the painters could prepare it for tomorrow. 

It’s mid afternoon by the time you finish, and you say your goodbye to head home and start preparing for dinner. You work on your dough and filling for the pies, deciding that you’ll go for a hunt while they’re setting. 

You’ve never joined Jungkook on a hunt. Ever since your transformation, you’d only ever shifted to run into the mountains or when you feel like your family is in danger. Jungkook had always insisted it was his job to do that, and he knows this area more than anyone; hunting is his thing and there was never a need for you to do it. 

Not unless you want to surprise him, of course. 

Rabbit stew has become his favorite ever since you prepared it for him one night years ago, when you redid the Ceremony dinner at the cabin. That was the night you admitted what you felt for him, and you have a feeling that Jungkook ties that meaning to the dish. So every time you feel like showing him how you feel - however that is - you make him stew. 

There were no rabbits from yesterday’s hunt so you decide to look for them yourself. You shift into your wolf form and head out, trying to remember Jungkook’s hunting strategies that he’s shared with you. You look for fresh prints, sniff their scent, and let the animal in you dictate where to go. 

It doesn’t take long for you to sense movement from the meadows a few kilometers away. As you follow the sound, you know it’s what you’re looking for. There are 2 of them and their prints are heavy; they’re big, enough for your family of 4.

You run faster, not wanting them to wander farther. You sneak up on the pair and instantly catch one, alerting the other. You follow, scanning the field before you and knowing that you could easily outrun it, back it into a corner and then call this hunt a success.

The rabbit is fueled by adrenaline, running faster than you expected and heading towards a body of water that you know it hates. But you take this opportunity by outrunning it, growling as you go and then pouncing on it once it nears a boulder. 

You’ve got it, the wolf in you rejoices. You know once you shift back into human form, you won’t remember much of this; it’s your first time, anyway. It’s why Jungkook doesn’t let you hunt; once you do it regularly, it becomes a part of you, and killing prey is not something he wants you to get used to, much as it’s for survival. He’s there to do it, it’s in his nature unlike you, a human by birth. 

One thing you learned after your transformation is that you don’t retain much of your memory as a wolf when you’re in your human form. But when you’re in your wolf form, your memory as a human remains, balancing you. Amma has said once that it's what reminds you of who you are by nature, that having your human memories is one way to ensure that you don’t remain as a wolf. 

It’s why once your forelegs hit the water, you remember. 

The breeze that evening. The cold water. The sound of the river’s current. 

You remember the feel of the boulder against your soaked body. How hard it was. How it diluted the blood that was seeping out of your head.

The sun had set then, like now. There were wildflowers on the riverbed, like now. 

You’re growling, but back then, it wasn’t yourself that you heard - it was another wild animal, big and black and angry.

It was here, years ago, when that bear attacked you, when you were close to giving up, and when Jungkook saved you. He took you on his back and ran as fast as possible to take you to safety. He was frantic in the pack house as he demanded the doctors to save you. It was the same night when you broke his heart for the millionth time by saying that the cabin wasn’t your home, that he wasn’t your home. 

You haven’t been here since that night. You hate that it took away from the good memories you had here with Yoongi before, and being back here brings you back to that time when you almost gave up on yourself. When you almost gave up on Jungkook.

The human fear and sadness from that time alerts you that you have to leave, that you have to shift back. So you run as fast as you can and head back home, prey in hand, and tears in your eyes. 

**

Standing in your shower as you wash away the blood from your body, you feel betrayed. You aren’t supposed to remember much of what you saw but you remember it. You remember everything.

Perhaps it’s because those were your human memories and that’s why it’s as clear as day; being in that place as a wolf doesn’t mean you’ll forget what you experienced. 

Because you’re here now, unable to move, feeling an unnameable type of pain that’s familiar, and it hurts so bad. If it wasn’t for your timer going off to say that your pot is boiling, you’d be staying here for hours.

It felt so vivid. You didn’t think that being back there would make you recall how it was that night even if you didn’t remember much right after. It’s been years, after all, but as you caress your neck to feel the mark of your bond, you know why you feel empty yet heavy; you know why you feel like your heart is being ripped apart even as it beats rapidly. 

It may be your memory, but it’s Jungkook’s pain you’re feeling. 

The sight of you helpless. The thought of you giving up, of losing you for good. 

The thought of him withering away at the loss of you. 

The thought of never having this home, this family, this love. 

You exit the bathroom and see your bed, and you remember the nights you spent holding his hand because he’d been weak, because you’d selfishly taken all his energy, because you’d taken so much of him without giving anything in return. 

You remember the fear you felt of losing him, the guilt of hurting him, and the worry that you might never be able to make it up to him.

You feel Jungkook’s pain. And yours. All at once.

**

You’re surprised you manage to make a decent-tasting rabbit stew and not burn the pies given how absent-minded you’ve been since you got back from your hunt. You suppose it’s due to muscle memory; you’ve made these dishes so many times before. Just like as it’s reflex for you to turn to the door once to hear it unlock, even if you’re unable to fully process what’s happening. 

“Mommy!” Eunjoo and Hayoon greet in unison as they run to you for a hug. 

“Welcome back,” you coo, taking them into your arms and giving them a tight hug. If there’s anything to remind you that everything from earlier is a memory, it’s them - the manifestation of the love you share with your mate. “How was your afternoon?”

They yell over the other about things they did, but you pick up that they listened to some stories, planted flowers, and fed the fish in the pond. 

“I’m glad you both had a great time there,” you kiss their noses. “Did you give daddy a hard time?”

They look at each other before smiling and squealing, in unison, no. You cock an eyebrow at them before looking to your husband for the truth.

“They wanted to follow the ducks into the lake,” he playfully shakes his head. “They said they want to learn to float in the water or something.”

“Oh, my babies. You’ll learn to do more than that,” you smile, kissing them again before letting them jump on the couch and turning the TV on.

“Hey,” Jungkook kisses your lips now. He turns his head towards the pot and his eyes get bigger. “Rabbit stew? How… how did you get the meat?”

“I hunted,” you smile, letting it fade right after. 

“You, what? Hey, that’s my job,” he pouts.

“I know, but I wanted to surprise you with your favorite dish,” you reply. “It was a quick hunt. And it won’t happen again.”

He looks at you like he’s waiting for you to say more, but he just kisses your forehead and whispers his thanks when you don’t.

“Can you set up the table, please? I should be done soon.”

Jungkook does as you ask, and it’s not long after when the 4 of you are seated on the dining table, with Eunjoo and Hayoon taking turns narrating - with more details - what happened today. You’re amused, as you always are. They’re only 3 but they can do so much; they’re still babies in your eyes and perhaps they’ll always be. 

You nod and ask questions, but you think that Jungkook can sense something is wrong, as he takes your hand under the table and catches your eye when you look his way. You fake a smile to assure him, even if you know he can see right through you. 

“Mommy, I’m tired,” Eunjoo says after squealing about how cute ducks are. She lays her head on the table and Hayoon does the same, facing her. 

“I’m sure you both are,” Jungkook says, taking both girls in his arms. “Why don’t mommy and I get you 2 ready for bed, huh?”

“Okay!” They both speak at the same time.

“Leave these here first,” he tells you. “Let’s tuck them in, together.”

You nod and follow, with Jungkook leading the way to their bathroom. 

Your daughters imitate ducks as you bathe them in their tub, and you watch in awe as Jungkook plays along with them. He knows just what to do to get their attention, and you adore the way he takes care of them - making sure the water’s not too hot or cold, massaging their heads as he shampoos their hair, then wiping them dry once they decide another time that they’re both tired. 

Snug in their towels, he lays them on their beds. “Tell mommy how much you love her, okay?” He whispers in both their ears, although it’s something you hear. He turns to you and says he’ll start cleaning up downstairs and you nod in response.

It’s more quiet with you and your daughters now. You want to savor this time with them as you gaze at their eyes that are just like their father’s. Energetic as they are, they have his warm heart and his affection, too, as they hug you tightly and tell you that they love you very much, and it’s not just because their daddy told them so.

You wish them goodnight and head down the stairs, no longer surprised when you see that in a short amount of time, Jungkook’s managed to clean everything up. 

“I’m outside,” he calls out once he hears you’re back.

You walk out onto the porch, letting the cool wind embrace you. He’s sitting on the couch, looking out into the forest. He turns to you with a comforting smile. 

“Hey,” he says.

There’s so much warmth in his eyes. You often wonder how the fiercest wolf of the pack can have so much tenderness in his body. It’s in the way he speaks to you, looks at you, holds you. You don’t want to imagine a world where you don’t experience this; you hate to think that there was a moment where it could’ve been taken away from you, where all this could’ve been taken away from him.

You give in, knowing that at the end of the day, he’s all you need.

You sit yourself on his lap and wrap your arms around his neck, your face finding refuge at the crook of it. You breathe against his skin but the tears sting your eyes. You let them fall anyway.

His large hands envelope you - one holds your hip against him, the other caresses your back. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” He asks after a while.

“I was chasing the rabbits and I ended up at the river,” you finally say. “The one… the one where I fell, where there was, uh. Where you saved me.”

You turn to face him, tear-stained cheeks hurting him as he looks at you.

“And then I remembered,” you continue. “I remembered almost giving up. I remembered almost letting go.”

The words pierce through. Jungkook remembers it, too. He remembers your faint heartbeat and the way you’d slowly loosened your grip on that boulder. He remembers feeling like his world was ending, seeing you helpless and scared.

“I haven’t gone there since that day. And being there again just… I…”

You break into a sob before you can say more. It’s overwhelming to feel this much sadness, this much regret. It’s as if seeing where it all happened after you’d buried that memory made your life in the past few years flash before your eyes, as if all that’s good was being stripped away from you. 

And it almost felt like your heart was being torn into pieces. The way it tore Jungkook’s. Perhaps that’s what you felt - his heart at that moment, breaking. 

He wishes he was there with you so you didn’t have to go deep into the memory, that he could protect you from all that hurts you. He can, but not from this. 

“I wasn’t good to you, Jungkook,” you say this time, eyes glazed from all the tears. “I’m so sorry.”

“Hey,” he exclaims. “We’re past that. There’s nothing to apologize for anymore.”

“It’s so heavy,” you sigh, breathless, as you clutch your chest. “It’s hard to breathe. I keep thinking of everything I put you through, of every time I pushed you away and kept you out, all the times that I made you feel unwanted, that I made you feel like I would never love you. I keep thinking that I… hurt you. So much. And I didn't… I didn’t stop.”

“Look at me,” he urges you, his own eyes glassy now at the sight of you carrying all this burden. “Feel this.”

Jungkook takes your hand to his chest. 

“My heart is beating, the way yours is. They’re connected. We’re alive and we’re safe and we’re home. We made it that way because we chose to try, because we chose to move past all that happened because we wanted this. We wanted to love each other. And I don’t doubt that love even for a second,” he says, desperate for you to listen to his words. “Whatever parts of me you hurt, you’ve healed them. Everyday that I come home to you and our children, I heal. You heal me. That’s all that matters.”

Jungkook always said he’s not good with words. But you disagree. Every time he speaks like this, he heals you just as much.

“I don’t ever want to live a life that isn’t with you,” you manage to say. “I don’t ever want to live a life where I’m not loved by you.”

“And you won’t ever know a life like that,” he assures you. “I’d save you in a heartbeat, ___. I’d save you a thousand times a day if I have to.”

**

It feels like hours that Jungkook holds you - on his lap while your head rests on his chest. You just want to feel his warmth, feel his heart, the one that’s connected in so many ways to yours.

“Let’s have a bath, okay?” He says.

You wrap your arms around his neck again. “Okay.”

This attachment tells Jungkook you don’t want to let go, so he stands up and carries you in his arms, walking both of you towards the bathroom. You remove yourself from him once he places you on the floor, and he tells you to wait for him as he fills up the tub.

He returns to you right after and kisses your forehead before undressing you, slowly removing your shirt and then your jeans. He helps you get rid of your undergarments, leaving you bare for him. 

Jungkook doesn’t take his eyes off you as he undresses himself, but he keeps them on your face, studying the sadness emanating from it. 

He’s bare in seconds, and he takes your hand and guides you towards the tub - the one he built, wooden and deep and spacious for both of you. 

“Come,” he whispers. 

You follow, sitting yourself between his legs and laying against his chest. 

You and Jungkook do this often. Though neither of you ever gets tired, your shared warm bath helps your bodies relax. It lets you feel close to each other, too, and it’s times like this when you feel what he’s said - that your hearts and your bodies are connected. 

He kisses you tenderly, starting from your temple to your cheeks, inching downward until he reaches your neck and then the mark that bears your oneness. 

There’s a certain kind of emotion that stirs within you whenever he does that, and you sigh in relief, because that’s what the act usually does - it assures you, comforts you, unburdens you to some extent and lets you breathe. 

You sigh, closing your eyes. You’re starting to feel lighter with just this. 

“You held onto me, you know?” He speaks after a while. “During those times, you made me feel like you still needed me in your own ways. Even if it was just my warmth, you’d move closer, and anytime I could see that you liked what I could give, it made it all worth it. And then you called for me that night. I… I knew then that you needed me and I wasn’t ever gonna let you go.”

You turn to him with questioning eyes. 

“That night? After the attack?” You ask. 

Things were hazy for you but you know nothing about calling for him. You turned him away after all, and said he wasn’t home.

“You did,” Jungkook hums, recalling the car ride home and taking you to your room. “We were back at your parents’ house and I was… well, I was a mess. It was hard seeing you in pain and I just cried. I kept crying, actually.” He chuckles, trying to make light of it. “You were asleep but you were tossing and turning. A bad dream, I think. So I just held your hand and then you called my name. It was a whisper but I heard it. Whatever the reason, I just felt like somewhere deep down, you needed me.”

“Maybe I did,” you nod, smiling despite the tears in your eyes. “‘Maybe I didn’t know it then but my heart did. My heart knew it needed you.”

“It’s a good way of looking at it, right?” He smiles back.

“It is. But it doesn’t mean I’m any less sorry,” you pout now. 

“I know, and I wish I can change your mind.”

Jungkook has a forgiving heart. You’ve always known it. He told you once that he lacks the strength that you have but you know it takes courage to forgive. And he forgives you every time. He does it without fail. 

You think about this as you both finish your bath. You gaze at him and watch his every forgiving and loving movement as he wipes you dry and leads you back to the bedroom. Wanting to feel him bare against you, you trace his face as you hover over him, having slid in between his legs again so you can look at him fully. 

He’s a lot softer now. You remember you used to see tenderness only in his eyes. His face was always so hard, so strained. You’d find out later on just how much he was holding back on a lot of things. But  now, he melts into your touch and it says of how much that’s changed. 

You wonder if you’ll ever stop thinking about it - how much you hurt him, how close you were to not having him. Everything he is now may be because of you, but a lot of who he was back then was because of you, too.

You lay on top of him, your chest flushed against his. You listen to his heartbeat while his fingers trace patterns on your back. It’s soothing more than anything, and it’s what prompts you to ask.

“Do you think it’ll ever go away?” You wonder out loud. “The guilt of what I’ve done?”

You push yourself up to look at him, curious if he’d fallen asleep because of his silence. 

“I wish it would,” he finally says. “I can’t… I can’t lose you to your thoughts.”

Not again, he doesn’t say. 

You feel things. Too much sometimes. Guilt is not an exception. And he worries that if you keep that with you, it might be what would pull you both apart.

But you know what he means without him saying it. You lived in your mind and in your pain all those months, and he lost you to them before he could even have you. And this… this might not be any different.

What is guilt but chains, you think. Guilt isn’t love. It doesn’t make the other person feel loved. Maybe it’s what would drive them away. 

“We should be enough, don’t you think? Me, this home, our girls?” Jungkook asks, almost desperately. “Love got you this, not guilt.”

“I’m scared that the more I think of how much you love me, I’ll think of how you’d done that so selflessly. And that’s why the guilt creeps in, like it did today,” you try to explain. “Because you had to lose so much of yourself for me to see how much I needed you. And you still had so much to give.”

“I’ll always have a lot to give. Because I take from you,” he says, caressing your mark. “That’s what’s so beautiful about this - we give to each other and we take from each other. And we’ll never run out. And so that guilt? I’ll take it from you, I’ll share it with you. Maybe that’s how it goes away.”

“I don’t want to feel it anymore. Because I don’t want you to feel it,” you pout. 

Maybe that’s how it goes away, you think. 

“Then we won’t feel it,” he chuckles softly. “But know that whatever it is that’s inside you, it’s mine, too. You’re my mate, ___. I’m here because of you.”

You nod vigorously as tears slide down your cheeks again. “Okay. We’ll share it all. We’ll share everything.”

There’s clarity in your eyes. There’s acceptance. There’s understanding and remembrance of the promise you made to the Moon and to each other. And as you look back at him, he feels you slowly give all that guilt up so he can take pieces of it from you.

You kiss his lips once, and then another time. The next is long and deep, and the way you pull the tips of his hair and push against him tells him what you need.

He needs it, too, so he helps you mount him, your hands now on his shoulders as your lips glide against his hard cock. His hands on your waist guide you as you move until you give him that look that lets him know where you want him this time. 

Jungkook lets you slide down on him, his tip hitting your edges right away and this is how you want it tonight - you want to feel it all. You want to take control at the beginning and give it all to him. You want to look into his eyes as you move up and down on his shaft while moaning his name. 

He matches your movements, pushing upwards just as hard so he could feel every inch of you, too. He sits up and you come the first time when he swallows your breast, his tongue swirling around your pert nipple. He lets you come down from your high as he wraps his arms around your waist, his head against your chest while it heaves to let him know how good he made you feel. 

There are no other words said. You both know what the act of mating does and with how heavy it’d been, doing this all night is what you both need to once more feel that oneness, to feel that sharing of pain and hurt, to give and take each other’s strength. 

Because behind the pleasure is that trust, that undeniable connection. It’s the love that courses through your veins and that you hear in each other’s beating hearts; it’s the loss of breath and moans of your names, the glassy eyes and trembling lips as you let each other know just how healing this love is because it’s meant to. 

Because that’s what it means when you’re fated with someone - you feel their pain and their joy like it’s yours. You trust that at your most vulnerable, they’ll hold you like you’ll break but they won’t treat you like you’re fragile. And they’ll kiss all the broken parts of you and love you hard until you’re whole.

“Sleep,” he tells you after you come for the fourth time, caressing your cheek and kissing your lips. “It’ll all be better in the morning.”

**

The sun is high, almost blinding. Your book isn’t big enough to block its shine but it still works. The wind is cool and the day is too nice for it to not be spent outside.

And it’s where you are - at the meadow where you’d fallen asleep before the incident by the river. Jungkook thought it would be nice to bring the girls somewhere new where they could ride their new bicycles after having just learned, and you were the one who suggested this place. 

He was unsure - you’d cried about the painful memories of that night and its aftermath just last week - but he gave in after you said that you’re feeling better, and that maybe the guilt can completely go away if you replace the bad memories with good ones. Eunjoo and Hayoon were running around and picking flowers earlier, and their squeals and sounds of wonder have been all worth it. 

Jungkook’s smile is worth it, too. Laid on his lap, you lower your book to get a peek of your mate, and the look of pure joy he has on is indescribable. The sparkle in his eyes whenever he watches your daughters is something you hold dear in your heart; you’re glad it’s the one image you can’t ever get out of your head.

“Careful, you two!” He calls out after Eunjoo falls to the side. 

She quickly stands up and waves at both of you. “I’m okay, daddy! I’m strong!”

“You’re still a child, though,” he answers back.

“But I’m a strong child! See? No booboos!” She counters, earning you and Jungkook a laugh.

“Look at them go,” you say, humming when he combs your hair with his fingers. “They were latching on to me not long ago and now, they’ll bike and run around for as long as they can.”

“Our kind really grows too fast,” he chuckles. “They’ll probably be jumping over rocks and running up mountains in no time.”

“I wish time would stop,” you sigh. “Just so we can savor these moments with them. And just so we won’t have our babies no longer needing us so soon.”

“Well, time won’t stop but you do know that we have a lot of time,” he says. “You know what that means.”

“Uh, I’m not sure I do?” You sit up and face his smirking form.

“We can always have more pups,” he shrugs, the statement so casual as if it’s that easy to just decide on having more children. “The girls are grown. We can handle things. I… I’d like to think we love each other even more now. What do you think?”

The thought of it excites you. Sure, there are so many things to consider. But you’d like to think that with all that’s happened in the past years, and especially last week, there’s so much more for you to give. 

You look at Jungkook and the way his eyes shine and his smile softens when he talks about your daughters. There was a time when all he had was an empty cabin and himself - none of your nightly family cuddles on the porch, none of the snowball fights during winter, none of the laughter and giggles and homemade pies and handmade wooden toys that you all bond over. 

Home has become more than a structure for Jungkook, it’s now more than a dream - it’s people he loves and he’ll continue to love. And you know you want to give that to him. You want to give him that joy of being able to create a bigger home with more children he’ll care for, because you know that there’s so much space for his incredible heart for that.

“Okay,” you smile. “I’d love to have more children with you, Kook.”

He can’t contain his smile, and all he can do is hug you tightly and let you feel through this how much it means to him. You hug him back and kiss his cheek, and he can tell that you want this, too.

“Family hug!” Hayoon squeals once she turns towards your direction, and it’s not long after when both girls are running towards you, squeezing themselves in between the spaces and hugging you and Jungkook.

Their giggles are music to your ears, and the image of more of them doing this with you makes your heart jump. Your home will be bigger, and you can’t wait for that, too.

##

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[vishnavishivaa]

Chapter 4: Had he? (Sambandham: War of Hearts)

Prologue

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

It has been a while since I posted this book, so please do check them out in case you want a refresher, or if you are new to my writing.

*******

Arun was nervous, so to say.

He could feel his entire life changing suddenly, and he would be stupid to not at least partly attribute that to Kshithija's return. Or mostly to her return. Why was he so panicky, though? He knew he had hurt her, and that guilt had now manifested heavily in his life. He had also not expected the revelations about his family to ever happen, and yet, that had shaken him heavily.

His thoughts made no sense to him, but it was what was called stream of consciousness. At least, he thought so.

His latest therapy session had told him more than he was comfortable with, but maybe driving around with music would help him gather his thoughts. They had addressed his anger issues. His anger, much like that of the men in his family specifically, was often like a raging inferno. Arun had, unfortunately, also inherited the sometimes impulsive temper of his Amma, and in combination, he often made hasty decisions, which resulted, often enough, in disastrous consequences.

At least, in his point of view.

He did consider himself blessed that despite his harsh temper, he also could usually douse the forest fire he had himself started, which was saying a lot. However, he had been in the guilt complex for hurting Kshithija for years. He had not had the guts to contact her, despite wanting to ask for her forgiveness.

He felt he needed it, and without that, the friendship he wished to reawaken between them would be awkward and stilted, in a way that they had never been before. And he did not wish for that.

Ever.

At all.

Arun let out a sigh, closing his eyes. This restlessness that had filled him since the news that Thija was returning, only multiplied in its intensity. He often wondered why she dominated his thoughts recently, but it was something that seemed beyond comprehension at that point. All he knew was that he had to make up to her, somehow, and plead on his knees to renew their easy yet deep friendship. Arun missed Kshithija deeply, and the chemistry they shared.

Platonically, that is.

Though, given some recent revelations, Arun wondered if it was only platonic. The way he felt about her, and the way she herself had been with him. Nothing about them had screamed platonic to anyone, including his and her families, and they knew the two of them the best. Even Iramathi had said that, and she knew him and Thija the best.

Or did she?

His reflexive smile turned into a frown as he recalled the recent arguments he had with his elder sister. While usually every word she said would make entire sense to him, and it was everything to him, in fact, he had started arguments recently. It felt like she had forgotten who Thija was sometimes, and it hurt him viscerally somehow.

But why did it? Why did Thija matter as if.. as if she were a part of him?

Even though his heart knew the answer to these questions, he still needed to process it, accept it, and see that it is the truth. The truth of his life had always been this way... then how had he monumentally messed up everything with Kshithija?

He still had to reflect a lot, but he had an answer off the top of his head. It was no justification for the hurt he caused her, but it was a reason. Arun had been scared, and entirely in denial. He had messed up and doubted her because he had been in denial that she meant the world to him. And if she had done what the rumours had said, he would have been shattered. In a bid to protect himself, he had doubted her, and that destroyed him from within.

It had been for years, rather. He was learning to untangle the complex web of emotions weaved across the rumours that Kshithija wanted to boss over his company, and at the base of it was fear of his heart shattering. That had led to so much mess. He could have simply talked it out with her, but instead, he had fought.

The idiot that he was.

"Arun?"

The gentle tones of Iramathi filled the dense silence of his room. He turned around to give a wan smile to his elder sister, who was already dressed to the nines, looking beautiful in her elegant aqua coloured dress.

"Akka?"

"I am sorry," Iramathi said, huffing quietly when Arun looked at her with wide and surprised eyes.

"For what, Akka?" he asked gently, hugging her. "Why are you sorry?"

"For not understanding yours or Thija's pain when you both needed me the most. I failed in being a good sibling and a good friend, but not any longer," Iramathi said quietly. "I will apologize to Thija as soon as I am able."

"But you did not doubt her at all, Akka," he said, confused.

"I did not do anything to dispel your doubts either, which is why she moved away from us," Iramathi said firmly. "I am as much at fault, Arun."

"Akka..." he hesitated for a moment before powering through. "Why did you of all people not reach out to her?"

"Because I chose you over her," Iramathi's firm reply made him hurt worse. They chose him first, and so Thija had been sidelined. Oh Shiva, what had he done? What had he done?

"No Arun, Kanna, it isn't your fault. Thija herself knew we would... it's just, obviously our ways hurt her, which I cannot fault her for. We can only repent, and only try to get her forgiveness."

Arun nodded. Iramathi made sense, her practical, logical tone calming him down. Yet, he wondered about forgiveness.

Thija would have already forgiven them, but would she ever let them close again?

Had he lost his chance with her?

Those were his thoughts, as he was led by Iramathi to get ready for the first ball of the social season. Had he lost his chance with Thija?

********

I will not speak of an update soon, cause every time I do, I end up running into writing issues. I am just glad this story is back in my creative flow.

Here's to hoping for more.

@ahamasmiyodhah @nspwriteups @whippersnappersbookworm @ragkee @chemicalmindedlotus @dr-scribbler @willkatfanfromasia @balladedutempsjadis @freeunknownwasteland @ramcharanobsessed @gemmusings @vijayasena @thirst4light @hollogramhallucination @chiyaanvikram @moon-880 @sakhiiii @thereader-radhika @ambidextrousarcher @celestesinsight @yehsahihai @thegleamingmoon @dumdaradumdaradum @rang-lo @ragkee @vijayasena @chaliyaaa @nidhi-writes @yehsahihai @hum-suffer @zeherili-ankhein @mahi-wayy @mahaswrites @leoprincess21 Please let me know your thoughts! What do you want to see in this story?

[sometimesbrave]

warnings: slapping

June 1985

***

"You'll be the saddest part of me

A part of me that'll never be mine.

It's obvious. Tonight is gonna be the lonliest"

- The Lonliest by Måneskin

***

Baba came up with the plan: a series of dropoffs, which will make tracking Deva and Amma more difficult. The fifth driver said that he was supposed to hand them over to the next driver in Hyderabad. When he went away to get them some food in the morning and returned, Deva and Amma were gone. After Deva and Amma's escape from Khansaar, Raja Mannar had his goons round up everyone involved in the matter.

All the seven drivers and Baba were beaten brutally and imprisoned. The fifth driver was tortured the most. He pleaded for his life but he never changed his answer.

Varadha remembers that he was slapped by his father across his face so hard that he fell to the ground. He remembers his father spat on the floor and walked away. After that, the rest of that day was blurry.

The search for Deva and Amma continued.

Now, Varadha's only priority was to get Baba and the drivers out of prison. He requested to meet his father everyday to no avail. He met every Dhora who gave him a chance. Most of them only agreed to meet him to reiterate his pathetic position and feel superior. Those who were sympathetic wanted him to let go of this issue, clean his hands of it and let others bear the burden of his decisions. They wanted him to understand his luck that he is not dead or rotting in prison because his father spared him.

Varadha did not stop. He and Baachi needed Baba. The only solace Varadha had during this year was his brother. Baachi was only 5 years old and he missed Baba very much. Varadha played with his brother and dodged every question the kid had about Baba, their mother or their father. He lied that Aai is in heaven because she turned into an angel on his birthday. He lied that their father doesn't visit them anymore because he is an astronaut on the moon. He lied that Baba will come home soon after defeating all the evil monsters in the forest. Because Baachi was only a child, he didn't need the truth. He only needed a story. Sometimes, Varadha only needed a story to get through the day.

Months passed. Every second ticking at the slowest pace.

Varadha celebrated New Year 1986 in the balcony of their house with his brother sitting in his lap. Baachi was giggling and clapping his chubby fists when he saw the fireworks light up in the sky. Varadha hugged him tightly and desperately wished for Aai, Baba, Amma and Deva to appear before him. He just wanted to celebrate the New Year with his family.

*****

tags: @deadloverscity @ghostdriftexistence @sambaridli, @rambheem-is-real @sinistergooseberries @vardhamannartitties, @moonnpaww @literariyumi @sana2410 @varadevaficrecs

[haydensky01]

Obey me! Lucifer loses MC the worst way (Part 3/3, Final)

Attention: Not short attention spane friendly. Spoilers. Angst

Part 1/3 | Part 2/3

######################

The day after you had gone, the demon brothers gathered in your room sad you left them and went to Diavolo's Castle.

"Why did he let her go?" Asmo said annoyed to his brothers. "What's the big idea of letting her abandon us like that? Aren't we her family?"

"She didn't abandon us." Belphie answers. "She just doesn't feel safe here anymore ... I don't blame her after what he did ... After what we did." Belphie says clenshing his fists.

"I never threatened her." Beel said sadly.

"Never did I as well." Asmo adds. "But we didn't protect her either."

To this, the brothers remained silent. Saddness, guilt and regret in their eyes.

"I still do not agree with how Mammon supported her on her decision and went against us." Levi finally said. "What a ... a ... a ..."

"A what?" Satan asks.

"I don't know. This is weird. I can't bring myself to insult Mammon anymore." Levi realizes in awe.

"Are you ... afraid of HIM?" Asmo teases.

"I AM NOT ... I think. I feel something like ... RESPECT?????"

A loud gasp from everyone fills the entire room.

"I feel it too ..." Beels confesses.

"I know what you are talking about." Belphie shares avoiding eye contact.

"My skin cannot support the blood pressure of a choc of this magnitude. I need a moisturizer." Asmo dramatically announces. "But I admit, he is kind of sexy throwing orders, leading with such an iron fist.The charming prince out of the swamp's ugly usless frog."

"So we all agree." Levi says annoyed shaking his head.

To this, everyone turns his head to Satan quiet this whole time.

He feels the eyes on him, his face goes tomatoe red and deturns his face from all.

They all explode laughing hysterically. Asmo throwing himself on the bed laughing outloud, Levi hitting his thigh with his hand tear laughing, Beel choking on his snack and Belphie palming his face shaking his head disappointingly.

"I respect anyone capable of landing one on Lucifer's face and sending him to his room." Satan finally says.

To his answer, the brothers go into a second round of frentic laughter.

"I heard my name. What is so funny?" Mammon enters the room.

Hearing his voice, the demons collect themselves briskly.

"What is wrong with y'all?" Mammon says confused. "I warn ya, if you are ploting some stupid prank on me amma beat ya asses." Mammon steps back at the realization of the genuine effect of his threat on the group.

He clears his throat: "I want us to do something. All together. As a family." Mammon says seriously making eye contact with each of his brothers. They all look at him in readiness. "We need to go and talk to Lucifer."

"NEVER!" Levi shouts. "I am not talking to him E.V.E.R."

"Levi is right. He almost killed our sweetheart in cold blood." Says Asmo infuriated.

"Listen. I am not denying what he did. I am moving forward from what he did." Mammon arguments gently.

"Who says we want to move forward?" Beel frowns at Mammon. Belphie, Levi and Asmo nodd at his remark.

"We want to move forward because we have always been reacting to what happens here. second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth and seventh born, we have always been relying on the first. Following whatever easy out from responsibility comes. Letting Lucifer innitiates ... Letting MC innitiates." Mammon closes his eyes in regret. "For once I am asking you to take an initiative that isn't anyone else's. This is our family. Lucifer is our brother."

"I know. But I can't forgive what he did to MC, the way he did it." Belphie rejects.

"You heard what she said." Satan gets involved. "She said: "Find the strenght in you to forgive Lucifer as a brother. What happened between us as lovers is up to me alone to forgive or not. But for the sake of your family ... my family. Forgive Lucifer. When you do, I'll find my place among you again." If we want to protect MC, this time, we need to give her back her place home."

The demons look down thoughtful, surrendering. Mammon gives Satan a look of gratitude to which Satan nodds with a smile.

"Come with me, I have something to show ya." Mammon invites his brothers.

Standing at the entrence of Lucifer's study, looking at his brothers digging their affairs in the pile of papers downstairs, Mammon says to Satan: "Dontcha wanna go dig our truth with'em?"

"Thank you, but I had my share of it yesterday after you went to Lucifer's. I have no intention of rereading his proofs on me sabbotaging his work and reputation across the Devildom."

Mammon smirks sarcastically.

######################

Lucifer seeing his brothers all gathered in his room couldn't remember if they had ever been all seven gathered here before. All gathered other than to be given a lecture.

Asmo was explaining how the lack of sleep and nutrition is bad for demons' nerves and skin. How he has been so superficial never seeing through his eyes and pains. That he found him very handsome and loves him dearly.

Levi shared how he has always been envious of his achievements, intelligence and success with girls up in the celestial realm and down here. That he knows he should be more present for the family but always counted on Lucifer to do more for him to do less.

Beel just wanted him to know he no longer holds grudges regarding what happened with Belphie and Lilith and wanted him to know he is grateful for everything and will always get his back.

Belphie knew he was the least present with the family and his activity, when awake, mostly consists of ploting pranks against Lucifer. He apologised for making his life harder for amusement.

Satan looked at Lucifer embaraced: "Don't expect me to say anything. You know everything there is already. I know wrath more than anyone. I was close to this same situation myself and you prevented me from crossing the line. You were there for me. I wasn't there for you. If you weren't there that day I would have appreciated to be forgiven afterwards. This is one reason why I forgive you. The other reason is ... you deserve to have such proof of affection." Satan finishes looking away completely.

Mammon was proud of his brothers all coming together. And for once he felt he did the right thing. That him, also, was their older brother. Walking away from the group hug he was ready to gamble the night away with Satan's credit card sleeping so comfortably in his pocket.

...

"Wait ... Where is my credit card? it was right here in my .... MAMMOOOON!!!" Satan screamed running after the second born.

"How lovely, we are back!" Asmo says. "Wait Satan amma help you hang him to the ceiling."

Lucifer chuckled at the view of the hord running after Mammon calling him all those funny names. He was ready. Ready to punish Mammon, to let Levi play, Satan read, Asmo fuck, Beel eat and Belphie sleep. But he more than anything knew next time things will get hard he won't have one nor two nor three demons he could relay on and sleep tight. He will have six.

After that night, things came back to normal ... almost. The brothers were silly and goofy like always but were making sure to genuinely check on each other.

Lucifer came back to work, more reasonably. Especially after Diavolo knew his part of responsibility in Lucifer snapping and made sure he doesn't send more than the demon could handle. This being already a lot, both were satisfied.

##################

"You will return to the House of Lamentation tomorrow?" Barbatos asks you.

"Yes, as usual. I miss my boys. Let me know as soon as Lucifer is done here so I can come back to the Castle before he goes home." You say.

"I will, as usual."

You have been sharing your time between two homes. In the Castle when Lucifer is at the House of Lamentation and in the House of Lamentation when Lucifer comes to the Castle for work. Needless to say you haven't met since the fatidic day. He sent you several letters that you never opened and requested to see you more than a hundred times. You always declined.

"Aren't you tired MC?" Barbatos inquired.

"I am. But it is necessary."

"For how long still?"

"I don't know."

"You forgave him already, didn't you?"

To this observation, you feel your blood freeze in your veins. You look at Barbatos in pain, hands shaking. "How is it possible to forgive so much? So easily?"

"You have a pure heart, MC. Although it is handicaping, it is not a weakness."

"How can you say it isn't one when it almost brought the death of me? I keep forgiving and forgetting even when I don't want to. I can't control my will to see good in everyone. Even if I see their evil, live it, feel it ... hug it. A simple word, a simple smile, a simple memory makes me forget it all. This isn't how things should be."

"How should they be?"

"I should be immuned. After every deception, heart break, betrial, I should be immuned. I should be able to better protect myself. But here I am turning in cercles."

"So this is why you refuse to see him? You are afraid not to feel cold towards him? To still see good in him?"

You laugh bitterly. "My poor Barbatos. I am afraid I would hug him ... I know I would." You lift your head to look at the demon tears in your eyes laughing at your misery.

Barbatos lowers his gaze not knowing what to say for the first time of his existence.

"You saw everything, didn't you?" You ask Barbatos.

"What did I see?"

"Come on Barb. I know you'd never resist the urge to travel in time just to see what happened that day with your own eyes."

"I indeed did come back and witnessed it all."

"Have you noticed?"

"What should I have noticed?"

"When I told him I made a pact with you to protect you he answered "To protect me?Just now? After what?". He wasn't talking to me. He was talking to Lilith, wasn't he?"

"He was."

"He saw in me everything. His brothers and their troubles. Diavolo's project and his assignements. Lilith who helped me help Belphie and not him. A human with a pact with his name on. Everything ... Everything but me. He didn't see me. The human who will die sooner than him having his first white hair. Yet here using up her little time waiting for him. The fragile body against his endless power coming to him and him striking it away. The woman loved by many yet only loyal to him. I want to punish him. Take away from him the only thing his pride would never give him. My love. Selfless, pure, endless love."

Barbatos was looking at you saying those sharp words tears coming down your face yet without an ounce of mercy in your eyes. So this is the human's heart break power he always heard about. He was both fascinated and terrified.

#####################

"Why didn't MC come for a sleepower this time like every time Lucifer stays at the Castle?" Beel asks Mammon at the dinner table.

"She said she wanna prepare for next week's exam and she needs calm." Mammon answers.

"It's all because of you making her binge watch your movies all night every time she comes over." Asmo reprimended Mammon.

"Oie ... Not like Levi doesn't make her watch anime and play games till dawn."

"Don't blame me. Blame Asmo and Belphie forcing her to cuddle all night." Levi passes the ball to Asmo again.

"I never forced anything on anyone. She loves me." Belphie says teasing.

"Don't say nonesense cow demon. MC isn't that stupid." Satan attacks Belphie.

Mammon throws a napkin on Satan's face hearing Lucifer coming back home after a night spent at the Castle to signale to him to change subject. Lucifer is very sensitive hearing about you. The brothers try not to bring you infront of him to avoid hearing his heart shatter at every mention of your name.

Lucifer knowing you were coming back to the House of Lamentation at each of his absences, made it his routine to spend couple days working at the Castle making excuses of his destroyed study. This gave you time to enjoy yourself with the brothers. And with a pain in the chest, the night he comes back, Lucifer would sneak into your room to smell your recent presence on the bed sheets. He was looking forward to coming back tonight just for this. To hug your pillow pretending you were still together, pretending he was giving you the time he should have gave you before and you deserved, faking a hope to wake up on a kiss of yours, pretending you still want him as much as he wants you. He will sneak into your room this night as well. But he won't find your smell.

Last night you haven't been in the House of Lamentation as Lucifer, Barbatos and Diavolo think. You haven't been at the Castle as the six demon brothers think either.

##################

"She is going to die, this is too powerful for her body." The first witch screamed.

"We warned her. She knows the risks. We cannot stop the ritual now." The second witch persisted.

"It's time. Prepare yourselves. The fragmentation is about to begin." The third witch announces.

The three witches joined in a cercle holding hands reciting incantations as your body flew above their heads surrounded in an orb of energy several shadow demons flying frentically around it.

In your despair of vowing your love to the wrong demon and incapacity of your heart to hold on the facts and protect you from the dangers and surrow, you turned to the three most powerful witches on earth. You took the opportunity of Mammon sneaking into your room at the Castle one night to take the contact of the witches from his D.D.D. The witches were happy to help in exchange for the money they never got back from Mammon. It wasn't that hard gathering the needed money selling pictures of Asmo sleeping to his fans. Lucifer was right, being so close to Mammon, he did rob off some of his shady skills on you.

Your wish was simple: Forget every memory you ever had with Lucifer as a lover. The hugs, the kisses, the butterflies, the pillow talks, the good mornings, the goodnights. Every memory of you two together. This and your love for him out of you.

How does someone even take a love out? You wanted whatever part in you responsible of loving him to die. You wanted to be sure to never be able to love him even if he is face to face with you, looking at you with his crimson eyes filled with the purest of love screaming your name.

For witches as strong, this was a piece of cake. Only if your love wasn't that pure.

Your love for Lucifer was quite unusual. The sincerity of it, the depth of it caused your love to no longer be in your heart but imprint your very soul. What an irony. Lucifer who was teasing you with eating your soul, did it in a way. To kill this love of yours your soul had to be taken out and fragmented. Lucifer's fragement would be given to the shaddow demons for them to eat. Only then the rest of your soul fragements would be returned to you.

What can go wrong? Everything. Literally everything. Any mistake means the death to your body. And your soul, now shattered in several pieces, would be lost in the shaddows for eternity. Somehow this was more gentle on your heart than Lucifer's betrial.

The shaddow demons got crazy animated around you at the view of your pure shiny soul. The witches could barely control the fragmentation with all the excitement. You feel it get out in a painful and sharp scream. You can see Lucifer's face smiling at you, Lucifer screaming at you, Lucifer confessing to you, Lucifer striking you, Lucifer waving at you, Lucifer standing in your blood. One image after another in a storm of feelings and memories. Then ... Nothing.

The shadow demons are no longer here. You are laying on the floor. The witches are above you.

"Is she dead?" The first witch asked.

The third witch approaches you and looks for your pulse. She laughs: "What a stubborn little girl, I even bet she would die before the ritual ends."

"This explains why they are that much intrested in her down there." The second witch says.

"Well, our work here is finished." Announces the third witch. "You! Shaddow demon, you got what you wanted. Your price will be to take this child and bring her back to the Devildom. Make sure no one sees you. We do not guarantee your safety."

The witches fly away and you are brought back to the Devildom. Put in the parc under one of the trees there.

################

"What do you mean she told you she is staying at the Castle?" Lucifer asks a half awake Mammon worriedly.

"Oie ... She texted me saying she wasn't comin'. Why are ya asking? What's happening? What time is it?" Mammon buffles.

"It is happening that when I was at the Castle, Babatos told me she came here to spend the night the other day." Lucifer announces shaking.

It didn't take much before the whole house was awake. The people at the Castle alerted. No one knew where you were at and everyone was looking for you.

Few hours later, Lucifer is running back to the House.

"She is upstairs on her bed. We found her passed out in the parc. But she is doing fine." Satan at the door tries to calm his brother down.

In a heart beat Lucifer was infront of you beside your bed. Eyes filled with tears, breathless, shaking to your sight. It has been so long! So much had happened! But you are here ... finally!

"Lucifer?" You blink curiously to him.

Lucifer flinches at your voice and gaze. You never call him other than Luce. Something was missing ... everything was missing. The warmth in your voice to him, the smile on your lips, the pink cheeks, the deep welcoming look. He hesitates a moment then approaches you very slowly. He gives you his hands at which you look not understanding what he wants then you finally take them.

Something was definitely very wrong. These were your hands but not the ones he knows. Their warmth, their tenderness were gone. It's like your hands no longer fit in his. He looks around trying to find someone who feels the way he does but everyone was just happy having you back, seeing you gathered in the same room with Lucifer without you trying to run away or him trying to kill you. You do not see the distress in his eyes and the confusion in his heart then turn your head to joke with the boys no longer aware of his presence next to you.

Lucifer goes out of your room and meets Barbatos. "I apologise Lucifer, she apparently wanted to be alone and wondered till she passed out in the gardens of cold. But she is all good now. No need to worry." Lucifer didn't really hear what the butler was telling him. He kept walking numb to his room.

Once alone ... he cried. He wasn't crying a regret, nor crying a heartache. He was crying a death. His love passed away tonight with no funerals, giving up on him to an eternity of silent condolences.

####################

Not everyone who hurt you will know or recognize they did. Not everyone will apologise to you. Not everyone will cry your loss. Most will never. Before you give a piece of your soul make sure you'll at least deserve the tears of Lucifer on your departure. Otherwise, you would have been feeding the shaddow demons all along.

Thank you for reading me and gifting me with the only thing you truly possess, your time. The end!

[hezzabeth]

"I don't think that's it. Here, let me show you something," Revati said, gesturing for her sister to follow.

Dityaa, who always found silence terrifying, spent the brief walk chattering away.

"I don't know if I should continue things with the Duke; he is adorable and very sweet, but I've been stabbed and bruised," Dityaa said, more to herself than to Revati.

"Exactly," Revati agreed.

"Of course, it would be nice to live in a romantic villa with a wardrobe filled with gowns," Dityaa added, touching her dress.

"You do love gowns, and that one is starting to look a bit shabby," Revati smirked.

"Don't judge me for liking feminine things! You act like a warlord but you still make lipstick out of ash and oil," Dityaa snapped back.

"I don't judge you for being girly! I judge you because you spend your life acting like one of the drunk moths hanging around our lampposts," Revati argued as they turned a corner.

"And what is that supposed to mean?" Dityaa demanded.

"You go to balls and seduce dukes, ignoring the fact we are trapped here for the rest of our lives!" Revati said. It was something she had thought many times but never said. Mars had been long ago terraformed in pockets with massive stretches of freezing wilderness between countries and settlements. Older Landon had been built miles away from the nearest city in the middle of an AI machine zone. The only way to reach the park was, of course, by driving or on a high-speed floating train.

"I don't ignore it; I remember more than you do! I remember us running towards the gates trying to get the last train out! I remember watching people leave the park on foot thinking they could walk to the city," Dityaa replied. Sometimes, the Hardi brothers would discover the old bodies of tourists frozen solid in the wasteland. They would, of course, rob them and then rush back towards the park before night fell. Sometimes late at night, Revati could see the distant city lights. It didn't change the fact it was still a day's walk away.

"What's that?" Dityaa suddenly asked, stopping her tirade.

Dityaa had spotted the Android.

"I have no idea; it said it was looking for its daughter," Revati admitted as Dityaa stooped down at the Android curiously.

"Daughter? Can androids have a baby?" Dityaa asked.

"I suspect it was a human using the Android as a surrogate. The voice didn't sound like an AI appliance," Revati admitted.

"It looks familiar, doesn't she?" Dityaa asked.

"It looks exactly like the portrait of the lost princess in Whistleton," Revati said as Dityaa carefully touched the Android's face.

"No, it's more than that," Dityaa said in a soft dreamy voice.

Revati merely leaned down, grabbing the Android's broken legs.

"Go get the balloon cart and push it back here," Revati said.

"You're not thinking of taking it back home, are you? Amma will kill you," Dityaa protested.

"Obviously I'm bringing it back! I need answers," Revati snapped back, and Dityaa marched off.

The second she vanished around the corner, the Android's metal eyes fluttered. Its hand tried to grab Revat's wrist before falling dead once more.

******

A forest had engulfed Baker Street. A romantic, sunlit forest with twisting trees covered in puffy, bright yellow blossoms bursting from upturned cobblestones. Dotted among them were smaller, dark trees heavy with bunches of magenta berries. Two of the feral children had already attacked the berries, their lips a deep purple.

Dityaa stopped helping Revati with the popcorn cart and started skipping towards the children. Revati sneezed loudly as the pollen hit her nose. She hated to admit it, but it was all rather pretty.

A few feet away, Brigadeiro was working outside the greenhouse along with the school students and Dusk. Mrs. Gupta was glaring at them with firm disapproval. “Does that fool have any idea how much water plants use?” She grumbled to Revati, who was pushing the cart towards everyone.

“I told you, Mrs. Gupta, these are all drought-resistant native Australian plants,” Brigadeiro replied as he stooped over an upturned cobblestone, spraying the mud below. There was a faint rustling sound, and a bush burst from the earth. The bush had peculiar finger-like mint-green leaves. Seconds later, it was covered in hot pink fleshy fruit.

“They look like your hair,” Revati remarked, faintly startled by the entire thing. “Here, try one,” Brigadeiro replied, picking a piece of fruit and handing it to Revati.

“I was only gone for less than an hour! You’ve turned the entire street into a jungle” Revati pointed out.

[tired-truffle]

The Art of Pointed Questions

A DamienxAmma Fic

Word Count: 2.7k

Part 1/1 - Complete

Based off the prompt from tumblr user @creativepromptsforwriting

P.S.: If you haven’t read this series but you like my other fics, i highly recommend reading Villains and Virtues by A.K. Caggiano, its literal gold 💯

Masterlist

“Have you ever had a friendship bracelet?”

The ridiculousness of that question echoed across the rocky walls surrounding their path as it wound through a small craig. It wasn’t the first absurd question that Amma had asked in their seemingly never-ending journey toward Faebarrow, but this one had to be one of the most egregious yet. 

Had Damien Maleficus Bloodthrone, Son of Zagadoth the Tempestuous, Ninth Lord of the Infernal Darkness and Abyssal Tyrant of the Sanguine Throne, ever had a friendship bracelet? 

The better question would be if he’d had any friends at all, to which the answer would be a resounding no. He was evil, evil beings did not have such childish things as friends. 

Damien didn’t justify it with an answer, instead, he released a heavy, long-suffering sigh and debated using the talisman’s power to get her to stop talking - it seemed he was debating this almost every minute he let her have free reign of her own speech. 

Kaz had scrambled off somewhere a half hour ago and had yet to come back, however, Damien could sense his presence skulking behind them. The imp had been keeping Amma busy chatting - though it had in truth been Amma chatting at him and Katz shooting back cruel names and annoyed looks. But even his loyal minion couldn’t withstand that brand of torture forever and had fled in a burst of rage, leaving Amma with a new target who was much less engageable than Kaz. 

Damien thoroughly debated - for what felt like the millionth time - leaving Amma behind just to avoid her inane questions. Yet he couldn’t leave the talisman unattended, could he? Hence his constant debate on ordering her to shut her mouth. He’d done worse to others for less heinous acts, surely this wasn’t unreasonable.

“I know you heard me, Damien, don’t pretend you’re too dark and broody for a friendship bracelet.” Damien could practically hear the eye roll in her voice and he stifled an irritated growl. “You were a kid at some point, right? Kids give each other friendship bracelets, half-demon or not. I bet you were just like all the other kids, playing with your toys and frolicking in the streets or whatever it is kids do in creepy cities - skulking through the streets?” Amma giggled, apparently, the image of a tiny Damien, pout on his face as he skipped around was too much for her to contain herself. 

“I am evil, Amma. Evil people do not frolic, no matter their age.” Damien shot her a withering look. But like a fool, he’d fallen for her bait, and he watched as a wide smirk pulled at her round cheeks. Not wanting to admit to having been beaten, he hissed, “Sanguinisui, do not talk until we reach our camp tonight.” Amma’s mouth snapped shut as her teeth clacked together. Knowing her - as he had unfortunately come to in their time travelling together - she’d been about to gloat and Damien had managed to catch her before she could, thank the hells. 

She narrowed her eyes at him, clearly irritated, which only succeeded in painting a smug grin across his lips. Gesturing to the surrounding forest, she put her hands to her throat and made a strangled sound, her tongue comically sticking out the side of her mouth. He supposed he couldn’t blame her after the last time they’d been attacked and she’d been unable to make a shout for help because of his orders. 

Somewhere behind them, Damien heard Kaz make a wretching sound. 

Damien rolled his eyes but conceded - he couldn’t risk losing the talisman. “Sanguinisui, you may only ignore that last order if you are in danger.”

Satisfied that she wasn’t at imminent risk, Damien turned away from her, clicking his heels against his ‘horse’ to spurn it on faster. The last thing he needed was to look back at where she sat, dejected and fuming. He didn’t want to feel any sort of pity for her, like how he’d feel pity for a weak little kitten caught out in the rain. He had other more important things on his mind, like getting his father out of the crystal, his main objective. He didn’t have the time to spare her any sympathy. 

The peace and quiet that had accompanied his order had been truly blissful for about thirty seconds before Kaz took it upon himself to sit behind Damien - now that Amma couldn’t speak to him - and glare at her, making rude gestures along with some snide remarks. Amma had then taken it upon herself to pull stones out of the bottom of her boots and chuck them as hard as she could at Kaz’s impudent face. Unfortunately for Damien, said face was right behind his back, and Amma’s aim was by no means her best ability. She ended up mostly pelting Damien with the pebbles. When one had the audacity to bounce off the back of his head, the scathing glare he shot her way had been enough to make her rethink her actions. Perhaps throwing stones at the man who was in charge of all your actions and would soon be killing you, wasn’t the wisest course of action, unless you were trying to speed up said killing and subsequent death. 

By the time they made camp, Damien was in an even fouler mood than he had been after seeing Xavier - which was saying something since that lecherous blood mage never failed to make his blood boil. Damien spat out his usual commands to Amma, told Kaz to guard her, and trekked off into the woods to find them some dinner. Surely hunting a creature would make him feel better.

Kaz took that as his opportunity to discipline Amma himself. “How dare you anger Master Bloodthrone, he does not have time for your petty grievances, you are his captive.” And for good measure, “Whore.”

Damien didn’t bother listening to Amma’s indignant response, he’d heard enough of their banter to know what she’d say, and he was sure it would only serve to piss him off further. 

By the time he returned to camp an hour later, a small hare in hand and much calmer after releasing his magic on some unsuspecting trees, he was feeling much more collected. 

Amma had her back to him, facing the small fire she’d built and was hopelessly trying to start by spinning a stick in between her hands on top of another slightly larger stick. 

“That won’t work,” Damien said in lieu of a greeting. 

Amma yelped - the sound much too high-pitched to be at all dignified - and spun around, having been so focused on her task that she hadn’t heard the crunch of dead leaves under his heavy boots when he’d walked up behind her. 

Damien smirked. Good, scaring unsuspecting innocent girls was something evil people did, evil like Damien. 

“You don’t have to startle me, you know, I was only trying to help.” Amma dropped her sticks, a light blush tinging her pale cheeks. 

Damien shrugged and with a wave of his hand, he’d quickly lit the fire. Magic was a wonderful thing. 

“Showoff,” Amma muttered under her breath, crossing her arms over her chest. Kaz cracked an eye open from where he was resting on a rock, satisfied that Amma looked dejected, he closed his eyes again. 

Amma turned away from the fire, picking at the long grass and small wildflowers that were bordering the little clearing they’d found. Damien paid her no mind and set to work preparing their dinner. By the time it was cooked and devoured by all participants, it was time for bed. 

Damien gave Amma her nightly commands, - sit, stay, play nice - and settled down to sleep, turning away from where she sat, staring off into the dark woods, fiddling with grass in her hands. If she didn’t want to sleep, that was on her, but she better not be cranky tomorrow. He didn’t know how he would cope with more irritation after today, he had his limits, and Amma being here was already pushing it. She’d already steered his evil plan of course. He now had to go all the way to Faebarrow to get the amulet out of her - so he didn’t have to kill her. It was out of pity of course, like that cat stuck in the rain, he wasn’t evil enough to push it under a carriage wheel, even if it would end its suffering. 

And if his dreams were filled with horrible images of a lost blonde cat, shivering in the rain, no one had to know but him. 

When Damien woke, the first thing he noticed was that Amma was not where he’d left her sulking by the fire. The second was that said sulker was no longer looking so miserable and had moved to hover over the small sleeping form of their resident imp. 

“Do I want to know what you’re doing?” Damien asked, rolling to his side and propping himself up on his elbow, swiping a hand down his face. It was much too early to be dealing with this, but the sooner he got whatever ridiculousness was going on out of the way, the better the rest of his day would be. 

Amma whirled around, eyes widened in surprise and hands clasped guiltily in front of her chest, pulling Damien’s eyes to the ample cleavage her shirt did very little to cover. He quickly looked back up to her face, pleased to see she showed no indication that she’d noticed his brief lapse of control of his gaze. 

“Have you finally smothered him in his sleep like he deserves?” 

Amma squawked indignantly. “Of course not!” 

Damien shrugged, sitting up and stretching his arms out from the little aches and pains he’d gained from their sleep on the hard, unforgiving ground. 

“That’s too bad.”

“Damien!” Amma hissed, her forehead pinched. “Don’t be so mean to him, look how cute he is when he’s sleeping.” 

Cute wouldn’t be how Damien would describe Kaz, his protruding lower jaw wide open, drooling onto the rock he’d made into a pillow, his spindly body spread out haphazardly. In a way, he looked almost dead, if it weren’t for the rise and fall of his chest. Damien could see how he could look peaceful, perhaps, but cute felt like a bit of a stretch. 

Damien had prepared another retort, unable to help himself, when a small band of green and white caught his gaze, pulling it toward the imp’s wrist. He rubbed his eyes to ensure he was seeing correctly, and when he blinked away the black spots, he saw that the small band was still there. It was made of thick grass interwoven with small white flowers into a delicate braid pattern and tied in a neat bow. 

Damien looked between the bracelet and Amma, his eyebrow raised. 

“I think it suits him,” Amma said, smiling down at the sleeping imp. “And I’m very good at making friendship bracelets.” 

Damien felt a headache coming on, he thought they’d left this conversation yesterday, “Imps don’t have friends.”

“They do now.”

Stubborn as ever, Amma refused to relent, and Damien no longer knew why he even bothered arguing about this. Kaz would wake up, tear off the offending item, and call her some rude names, to which she would insist he keep the bracelet and be unnecessarily kind to the hateful creature. 

And Damien had to pee, something he had no plans of putting off for a pointless argument. 

He stood up, brushing off his clothes as he popped the joints in his knees. She frowned, that was odd, there seemed to be an unfamiliar object moving on his wrist. Anger built in his chest before he laid eyes on the object. He already knew what it was. 

“We aren’t friends either,” Damien growled, eyes flashing as he looked at where Amma stood, a sly smile on her face. It was unnerving that she’d been able to get the bracelet on his wrist whilst he slept without him noticing, and he would have to add a new line to her commands about not touching him when he was unconscious. He would have noticed earlier, had this grass and flower bracelet not somehow been entirely black, blending in with his black sleeves. 

“I even covered it in ashes so it would match your moody aesthetic.” Amma flicked her fingers at him and he felt an indignant jolt run through his chest. He wasn’t moody, though arguing that point would not help his case.

And he would never in a thousand years admit that he couldn’t help but feel it was also strangely…. thoughtful, that she would take into account his preference of colour, or lack thereof. 

He grunted, unable to come up with a proper retort so early in the morning, he turned swiftly on his heels to march towards the forest. 

“I’m not keeping it,” he called, not bothering to face her as he lifted his arm up and yanked the bracelet off. The bow came apart, ripping slightly as it did. 

“No!” Amma’s disappointment was clear in her tone and Damien ignored the tug in his gut from some stupid emotion he didn’t bother putting a name to - likely pity, that was about all his evil heart was capable of in this situation - and he continued his journey to find some quiet and private place to pee. It shouldn’t have been as difficult a task as it had been.

“Fine, be a miserable loner then!” she yelled after him. 

“I’m evil, Amma, evil people don’t have friends, and they certainly don’t wear friendship bracelets,” Damien drawled, grinning to himself. “Right, Kaz?” He raised his voice so the imp could hear him. If he hadn’t been evil he would have felt bad about sicking Kaz on her, who at Damien’s call, realized what Amma had bestowed upon him, and was reacting just as he had expected. 

Damien chuckled, revenge felt good, these were the consequences of her actions. Including him throwing that damned bracelet away and never looking back. 

He twirled the bracelet between his fingers, the ash rubbing off as he did so. It was strange that she’d gone through so much effort to give him something she knew he wouldn’t like. The son of a Demon Lord is wearing a friendship bracelet; how absolutely ludicrous. It would get him laughed out of Yvlcon, and he could only imagine what his father would say should he show up to free him from the crystal with an ash-covered, grass and flower braid around his wrist. 

He went to toss it into a bush, but at the last second, he hesitated. He couldn’t name what had stopped him, but the image of Amma, eyes wide and glistening with tears over all her hard work going to waste, of him rejecting the gift… it made him seethe quietly, but at the same time, he found himself unable to let go of the offending item. 

Resisting the urge to stomp childishly, he shoved the bracelet into his pocket. With any luck he’d forget about it and it would become crumpled beyond repair, and at last, he could part with it, if it didn’t turn to dust first. 

It would serve as a reminder that he didn’t need such things, that they weren’t for people like him. Bad people don’t deserve nice things. But if he kept it in his pocket, if he ruined such a nice gift, then maybe he could keep it, if only as a show of how evil he truly was, to hurt someone who had only tried to be kind.

He didn't have friends, nor would he ever, no matter how hard Amma tried, he was sure that he would be a ‘miserable loner’ for the rest of his life. It was his fate, no friendship bracelets would ever change that. 

Damien shook himself, he should really be more concerned that that thought upset him, but as he listened to the sounds of Kaz and Amma bickering, he couldn’t help but feel a warmth light somewhere within the deep, dark recesses of his heart. 

That damn girl and her damn kindness, surely it would be the death of him. He wasn’t sure what was worse, that his tombstone may read ‘Damien Maleficus Bloodthorne, Killed by Kindness” or that he wasn’t sure he would mind it, as long as it was Amma, with her bright smile and even brighter laugh, who did it.

A/N: I adore this series and it needs so much more hype!! Its literally the funniest and the cutest and had me giggling and kicking my feet???? Irl??? Wild.

Brb gonna go consume everything this author has ever written ✌️

[nevaeh-daughterofvalcarol]

*over letter sent on heavy paper with a wax seal because it’s a good excuse to show off fantasy-land skills*

Dear Mumma,

I went to go see Nonna Gigi for you, Zia Vera gave me a lift over. She’s super sweet, I see why you love her so much. We made pasta for dinner and then watched Snow White together. She adopted a cat last week named Meg, because she doesn’t have the heart to call her Peggy. It’s a dark brown tabby with a heart of gold, and didn’t even try to go after Inej and Jesper, and she let me hold her while she made us tea.

Jonny and Amma are doing well, though they miss you. Jonny has clung to me nonstop since I got home, and Zia Peggy had been over nearly every day to visit, and sometimes Athena comes to help me watch Jonny.

Our date went really well, by the way. We went out to this French cafe by Central Park and then for a walk where all the cherry blossoms were blooming, she braided them all through my hair. Some people stared and it made her nervous, though, so we left. I didn’t mind at all, though, and we went back to her room and put on pajamas and I helped re-dye her hair and then we snuggled, it felt so nice. I know you’re really protective of me, but you don’t need to worry about her, really. She feels safe in the way you and Amma and Zia Vera do — like nothing can hurt me when I’m with her. I glow around her almost every time we’re in the same room, it’s amazing. My eyes, too, and you know how rarely they glow. She gave me the rings you gave her and I just about cried — I can’t describe how much it meant and felt. I don’t know if we’ll ever get married, or even how long we’ll last. But I feel like we’re going to last a long time. And I can imagine a future. One that’s together.

My garden is thriving, and I’ve started making a window box for you and Amma’s room, with all the plants I know you like — let me know if you have any requests. Oh, and Amma spent all afternoon making pasta a bit ago. Mumma, she spent all day hand-making it because she wanted to. I don’t think she could’ve known this before hand, but she just happened to make the dish my Mamma made for us when we got sick or just in the winter when it was cold. It’s my comfort food, and it tasted just like it. Well, different. For one, Amma likes spices more than Mamma did, and I’m okay with that. It’s like a continuation of an old tradition. Anyways, I must go, Jonny wants to help me harvest the tomatoes I sped up for a good fresh sauce. I love you very very much and can’t wait to see you.

Much love, your daughter,

@iyla-difransisco

P.S. just reply by text, I love letters because I grew up with them but text is completely fine<3

Dear Iyla,

If you must know I do fancy hand written letters too which is why I decided to answer you with one. I sadly don't have any wax to cell the letter with me but if I did I would have used it.

I'm overjoyed to say the least. I'm very glad you got stop spend some times with Grandma Gigi. And I'm also very glad to hear that she got the cat! She has been hesitating between two cats lately, and by the description you gave me, she's chose the one I wanted! But please make sure she rests too. I'm very glad you had fun during your time together though.

I'm very glad to read that everyone is doing fine. But please if anything is going wrong tell me the truth okay? Not that I doubt you, I believe your words, but I just wanted to make sure. On my side everything is good. I don't really appreciate everyone at the school, I mostly don't like the straight boys that asked me on dates already multiples times but what can I do about that. Speaking of date, it does seems like I did worry for nothing. But I'll let you know that I had to make the line clear just so they know. And I'm very glad you liked the rings! Those were my parents and they really mean a lot to me. By the way, I'll show them your letter when I comeback saying that you see a future together, it's adorable.

Glad to hear that our house is still good. The garden is probably the most beautiful place in house so. And I've been wanting a window box for a while now! So thank my dear favorite daughter. Now this part got me quite surprised. But I'm really glad your Amma could make you comfort food, especially as it's pasta. You'll have to keep some for the moment I come back. And I'm also really glad to see that your unexpected leave of the house only made your bound with your brother stronger. Though it would be great not to do it again because I can't support the crying all night, please never leave him like that again. Anyways, I'm so sad I can't be with you all right now. I misses you guys so much, and I miss holding you or singing lullabies for Jonny or cuddling with your Amma in bed. My bed feels so lonely it's unbearable. I have to go see what is in the package Aunt Peggy sent me before starting class but remember; I love you mire than the multiverse itself.

With love, from your favorite mother, Me, Nevaeh (Romanoff)-Danvers ;)

[newtonsheffield]

This Hard Time au has gotten me, Molly! My heart just melted when lil Neddy recognized his daddy right there in front of him-gutted. But, what got me even more was that despite Kate being left alone, devastated, heartbroken and pregnant by Anthony this doesn’t stop her from sharing the good parts of him w their son. So much so that he recognizes him at first glance?! AND calls him out like he just knows from what he’s heard that his dad will love him. Anthony has to be grateful for the grace shes shown him in that gift. He has to see that there’s still love there, no?

I think, truly, this comes from Kate knowing that Neddy's curious about his Dad. Of course he would be. And she just desperately wants her son to know that even though his father's not there: Neddy is so loved.

She loves him desperately, and no matter what happened that complicated things, no matter how hurt she is, or the fact that she hasn't been to a train station since that day because she can't, honestly: Neddy was made with so much love. She did love Anthony then, she might still be in love with him if she let herself think about it. She's definitely never felt like that since. She loved Anthony, and she felt loved. He didn't choose her but she thought he loved her then. He liked her enough that he'd asked her to marry him, and they'd been stupid teens but she thought it meant something.

"Did you love him?" Neddy asked when he sat on her lap and looked through the box of pictures she had of them together. "You were pretty Amma."

Kate chuckled, "Thank you, baby boy. Am I not anymore?"

"You're the prettiest of all the girls." Neddy grinned up at her and he looked so much like Anthony that she almost cried.

"You're sweet." Kate brushed his hair back from his eyes as he looked up at her, "I did love Anthony. Very much."

"Did he love you?"

Kate sighed, not quite sure how to answer that question but she nodded, "He loved me the best he could. He told me he loved me everyday, and when he hugged me it felt like there wasn't anyone else in the whole world."

"That's what your cuddles feel like." Neddy kissed her cheek. "I love your cuddles. He must have felt special."

"Thank you, baby, I hope so."

[chaiandtakkar]

Whispers Beneath the Stars

Chapter 4

November 2007, Gujrat

As the train approached Gandhinagar, Khushi adjusted her uniform with meticulous care, though her thoughts were far from the mission. The cold metal of her badges reflected in the window, but the woman in the glass felt distant—more a symbol of duty than the girl who had once dreamed beneath a sky full of stars. She touched the corner of her beret, but her fingers trembled ever so slightly. It was not fear that gripped her, but a weight, a familiar ache that she carried like an old scar.

His memories stirred something deep inside her, something she thought she had buried long ago. He had once been the light that lifted her above the mundanity of her world, the one person who had seen her as more than a daughter, more than a girl meant to follow the well-trodden path laid out for her by her parents. Their conversations had felt like an escape, a flight to a place where expectations didn’t weigh so heavily. But that chapter had ended—abruptly, painfully—and the memories of it now lingered in her soul like an unhealed wound.

Beside her, six year old, Zoya, the young daughter of a fellow traveler, sat, her wide-eyed fascination lingering on the medals pinned to Khushi's chest. The girl’s tiny fingers brushed over the metal with awe, as if they held secrets to a world she could only imagine.  Zoya had been asking questions since they boarded the train, her innocent curiosity a welcome distraction from Khushi’s restless thoughts. But as the questions continued, Khushi began to feel the weight of them, as if Zoya’s words were drawing her back to parts of herself she had tried to bury.

“Didi, do you ever get scared?” Zoya’s innocent question sliced through Khushi’s reverie.

The words echoed in her mind, bouncing between the girl she had been and the woman she had become. Scared? Terrified—not of the missions or the dangers that lay ahead, but of the parts of her she could never truly escape. The ache she felt when she thought of Amma, the silences that still hung between them, heavy with disappointment and unmet expectations. The unresolved heartache that always reawakened when she thought of him.

Khushi forced a gentle smile, though it didn’t quite reach her eyes. “We all get scared sometimes, Zoya.”

Zoya, wide-eyed and curious, tilted her head. “But you look like nothing can hurt you.”

That was when it struck her: Zoya, with her childlike wonder, saw Khushi the way Khushi wished she could see herself—strong, unbreakable, untouched by the past. Khushi’s chest tightened. If only the uniform could protect her from the things that had already hurt her—from the unsaid words with Amma, from the conversations with Appa that were always about what she should be, from the memories of a love that had felt like freedom but had ended in silence. She had learned to appear brave, to wear her strength like the medals pinned to her chest, but inside, the war was far more personal.

Zoya's innocence, her relentless curiosity, was like a mirror reflecting back the cracks in Khushi’s armor. She wanted to be brave for Zoya, to be the image of strength the little girl saw in her. But inside, the restless ache gnawed at her, the one that came from memories of home.

Home. The thought of it made Khushi’s chest feel heavy. Amma had never been one to show affection openly. Their relationship had always been strained, fraught with unspoken burdens. Khushi couldn’t help but wonder if in some twisted way, every step she took away from home seemed to lead her back to it.

Zoya interrupted her thoughts again, her voice sweet but persistent. “Did your Amma teach you to be brave?”

Khushi’s throat tightened, and she hesitated before answering. “She taught me many things.”

It wasn’t a lie. Amma had taught her strength, but it was the kind that came from surviving, from enduring the things you couldn’t control. But bravery? That was something Khushi had learned on her own—by walking away, by choosing a life that Appa had wanted for her.

“Do you miss her?” Zoya’s innocent question landed like a stone in Khushi’s chest.

Miss her? Khushi wasn’t sure if that was the right word. She missed the idea of her mother—the one who might have offered warmth, a hand to hold when things got difficult. But the reality was different. Their conversations, when they happened, were strained, like two people talking across an unbridgeable chasm. 

Still, Zoya’s wide, expectant eyes waited for an answer. Khushi exhaled, forcing her voice to stay steady. “Sometimes.”

The little girl seemed satisfied with that, though Khushi felt a wave of something dark and unnameable roll over her. She turned her gaze back to the window, watching as the landscape blurred past, the colors of the desert slowly waking with the dawn.

In the quiet moments between Zoya’s chatter, Khushi felt the familiar restlessness stir in her chest. The train’s slow rhythm was like a heartbeat, steady but heavy. It mirrored the weight of the past she carried—of the loss she didn’t speak of and the connection with Amma that had always felt just out of reach.

She felt caught between worlds, much like the landscape outside—between the beauty of the desert sunrise and the harshness of the barren earth below. Between the duty she had sworn to uphold and the quiet longing she carried inside her, a longing that seemed to have no home.

Zoya’s voice brought her back once more. “Didi, will you come back after your mission? Will you see your Amma again?”

Khushi paused, the question lingering like a challenge. Would she? She had spent so much time running—from home, from the obligations that felt like chains, from the unspoken words between her and Amma. But there was always a pull, a thread she couldn’t sever, no matter how far she went.

“I don’t know,” Khushi said finally, her voice soft. “Maybe.”

Zoya, with her childlike wisdom, nodded as if that answer made perfect sense. She snuggled into her seat, content for the moment, leaving Khushi alone with her thoughts once more.

As the train slowed, signaling their arrival at Gandhinagar, Khushi steeled herself for the day ahead. The mission was straightforward, but the emotions swirling inside her were anything but. The uniform, the duties—it all felt distant, as if she were playing a role that didn’t quite fit anymore.

But as she sighed, Khushi caught Zoya’s gaze once more. The little girl smiled at her, full of admiration and innocence. And for a brief moment, Khushi allowed herself to smile back, a soft, fleeting smile that held the weight of everything she couldn’t say.

Khushi realized that Zoya’s presence wasn’t just a distraction. It was a reminder. A reminder of the innocence she had lost, and the bravery she had learned, not from being fearless, but from facing the fears that still lingered in her heart.

>>Chapter 5

@arshifiesta

Also on blog here

[thereader-radhika]

3- Uncharacteristic Behaviours

Parts 1 , 2

It was midnight but it looked like morning due to the light of all lamps that were lit in and around the temple. Floral garlands of several colours decorated its walls and pillars. Cool breeze from the nearby river blew into the temple but the lamps miraculously stayed intact. Vallavarayan Vanthiyathevan gazed into the temple as he heard a sweet song.

Aazhi mazhai kanna! Onrum nee kai karavel Aazhiyul pukku mugarnndhu kodaarththeri Oozhimudalvan uruvam pol mei karuthu Paazhiyan tholudai Padmanabhan kaiyil ...

Some old women danced before the idol of Muraleedharan, holding flower garlands. Has he gotten so old that young beauties won't grace him even in his dreams? He closed his eyes and slowly massaged his aching neck. The women or the decorations were nowhere to be seen when he looked again.

A abstruse fear gripped his heart as he walked away, so he decided to go back. But a garland made of white lotus buds was floating against the current of the river. How is this possible? It stopped floating and sunk into the bottom of the river as Vanthiyathevan stood there transfixed. Then the dancers' prayers were answered and the rain drenched him.

No, it was his nephew, the crown prince, who poured a pot of water on him.

***********

". . . Ravikulamanikyam, Mummudi Chola devar, Kandhaloor Salai Kalamarutta Keralanthakan, Pandiya Kula Sani, Cholendrasimhan, Korajakesari, Tribhuvanachakravarti Konerinmaikondan Raja Raja-devar . . . "

Mama's and his titles were too announced as the royal entourage entered the captured palace. Appa squirmed as he heard the name 'Maduranthakar' again and again. Who asked paatti to name him after her runaway son? Young Maduranthakan still doubted if this was an elaborate prank they all pulled on him. How could a Pandya king grow up as the Chola emperor's son?

Appa asked mama to deal with the officials and ordered Madu not to disturb him unless it is an emergency before retiring to some chambers he claimed for himself. He pretended not to care but mama's nightmares have scared him too. Could this be a vision about impeding heavy rains and flooding? If it rains now, it will affect the movement of their reinforcements and supplies.

Madu entered his father's room and sat beside him. Why isn't he talking to the soldiers and commanders and cheering them up as usual? Is he upset about the the other Maduranthakan?

"Are you alright, appa?"

"I am. Give me a quick update on today's developments".

"Half of the aabathudavigal have escaped with the women and a prince who might lay claim to the throne. Velakkara padai met an old woman at the eastern boundary of the palace complex asking for 'Ponniyin Selvan'. People here really hate us but don't worry. Mama has written to athai to send reinforcements and supplies. I suggest a system of food - rationing until they calm down and more supplies arrive".

"Old woman?"

Maduranthakan was already regretting reporting it. It reminded him of the Singala Nachiyar who saved appa in his youth. Her story was so sad and unsettling. He stopped talking to girls after learning about her death. Hasn't Poonguzhali paatti too said that these girls have the bad habit of building castles in the air if handsome men treat them nicely? Though he isn't that handsome, what if they catch unnecessary feelings for him?

"Bring her here. No, it is impossible. I will order rationing until we secure our holdings. Don't mention a word to your mama. These aabathudavigal manage to do it every damn time".

What has come over his usually calm and composed appa? He might not be used to people turning against him but they will overcome this. Madu had no idea how to deal with this situation but what will the common soldiers think if their emperor is flustered like this?

"You are rambling, appa. Everything will be fine".

A strange expression appeared on appa's face. He looked naughty like the times when they used to sneak away from amma and athai and go on small adventures with mama.

"My son, it is the logistics and supplies that win wars. I have sent Aprameyan to take account of the food and grain reserves. Further orders will be issued on the basis of his report. You too assist him and learn to make such calculations. If I want any help from you, I will send for you".

If Maduranthakan had any doubts, they were quickly dispelled. Now he was sure that Appa is definitely up to some mischief. Does he expect him to make the list of rice and vegetables in the kitchen? He will show him!

‌Maduranthakan is the son of Vanathi and Arulmozhi. He would later take the name Rajendran. He is 14/15 years old in this fic.

‌Aprameyan is a general of Rajarajan.

Part 4

@willkatfanfromasia @sakhiiii @sampigehoovu @sambaridli @sowlspace @favcolourrvibgior @ambidextrousarcher

[vishnavishivaa]

Enadhuyire (Three Shot- Part 1)

Plan In Action

Arulmozhi leaned against the wall, waiting comfortably in the silence of the chambers with Vanthiyathevan, Poonkuzhali and Sendhan Amudhan. The latter two had brought him to Choodamani Viharam safely, and he was incredibly grateful to them. He also knew that Poonkuzhali had developed feelings for him, but he was unable to return anything more than a gentle affection and a platonic friendship. 

His heart was already occupied with doe eyes and shy smiles, with a cursive handwriting etching Thevarams on scrolls and a gentle voice calling out to him, discreet mischief as she out maneuvered his elder sister- he was captured, though he had done nothing to show her his affections. 

Something that would change, he had determined, especially after seeing her peer at him through her window, as he had termed it. 

“Vanthiyare, are we waiting for Akka?” he asked, despite knowing the answer. 

“Kundavai Devi and Vanathi Devi as well, Ilavarase,” Vanthiyathevan replied with a knowing smile. “The Kodumbalur Ilavarasi was busy with prayers to Durga Amma, thanking Her for your continued survival. Ilaya Piratti has gone to finish the prayer with the Ilavarasi, before the two make their way here.”

“And we are here now,” Kundavai’s voice announced, as she gently held Vanathi’s hand, tugging her in with a gentle smile. Arulmozhi instinctively got up, his eyes on Vanathi entirely, something he knew his elder sister had noticed very well, given the smirk that played on her features. 

“Kodumbalur Kula vilakke,” Arulmozhi greeted Vanathi, his piercing eyes tracing every feature of hers, noting the loss of weight with concern. 

“Ponniyin Selva,” she responded with the wide eyed gaze that she had when she spoke to him, her luminous golden orbs stunning him to the very embers of his soul. 

“Eppadi irukkirai? (How are you doing?)” he asked softly, stepping forward to talk to her intently. 

“Thangal eppadi irukireergal, Ilavarase? (How are you, Prince?)” she turned the question on him, and he smiled. 

“I am fine, as you can see, Devi. Come in, join us. Akka,” he smiled at Kundavai. Turning around, he quickly introduced Poonkuzhali and Vanathi to each other, a little sad when he saw a flash of what looked like sadness and heartbreak pass through Poonkuzhali’s face.

Feeling bad, but unable to move Vanathi from within him, he prayed to Parameshvaran for Poonkuzhali to find the right man for her. 

His gaze was once again captured by the yellow wearing beauty, who had sat down next to his elder sister as always, ever like an extension of Kundavai herself. 

“Akka, do you have to leave today itself?” Arulmozhi asked. 

“I do, thambi,” she said softly, a gentle smile of understanding on her face. “I need to go and move the chess pieces before you arrive, as Aditha Anna is decidedly going to Kadambur despite our requests.” 

She sighed at this, smiling at Vanathi, who patted her hand with exceeding gentleness. 

“Akka, shall I return with you?” Vanathi asked. “I am already prepared.” 

Vanathi was already returning to Thanjai? No no, she couldn’t. He had to talk to her, spend some time with her, even through all this tumult. Luckily for him, Kundavai had seen his expression, and decided to respond for him. 

“No no, kanne. It might be better for you to come with Arulmozhi,” Kundavai said instead, a mischievous expression that seemed to simply making Vanthiyathevan melt alighting on her face. 

“W-what? Akka!” An alluring blush made its way to the fair cheeks of the maiden who had captured his heart, and Arulmozhi had to smile at her adorableness, not quite able to hide his affection for her. 

“Actually Akka, that would make sense,” Arulmozhi said, suddenly lighting up with an idea. When everyone turned to see him, including Vanathi, he just smiled gently at her, before turning back to Kundavai, whose happy surprise made his heart soar that this was the right decision. 

“You need me to come to Thanjai in secret, isn’t that so?” At Kundavai’s nod, he too nodded, certain in his plan. “Then I can come as a mahout, who is parading Kodumbalur Ilavarasi to Thanjai. The Princess is coming as a messenger to our father.” 

“W-what?” Vanathi was completely startled at the words of Arulmozhi, which was clear in her tone, though her eyes shone like lights that attracted him. He registered Poonkuzhali’s melting heart, and smiled, understanding that his Princess had simply enchanted the boat woman by her simple elegance. 

“Ilavarasi, it would make the most sense,” he said softly. “But if you are uncomfortable with the plan-“

He faltered, praying to his Parameshvaran that she wasn’t uncomfortable. 

“No no, Ilavarase. I am fine with the plan,” she smiled softly, the rosy hue of her cheeks like fire, but elegant like smooth plains. 

“Are you sure, Vanathi?” Her name slipped from his mouth as if he had been saying it all his life, the little gasp she uttered making him smile, even more enchanted by her. 

“I am, Ponniyin Selva,” she said softly, nodding decisively. He smiled and looked at his sister, her proud smile making him smile wider. 

Things were taking shape, finally. 

***

It had been certainly clear to both him and his sister that there was a heavy risk that their plans will be foiled, and he would have to give up his secret hiding. 

What neither had anticipated was the fervor and hope in the people, who wanted him to spend a day of festivity with them before he left. 

He now had to adapt the plans based on this hope he had given his people. He had hoped to spend time with Vanathi, but everything had changed, and now he was devising a method to show her what he felt, for he did not know if his words were sufficient to tell her his thoughts. 

Maybe if he… he smiled brightly, going in search of the Princess of Kodumbalur again, hoping to have found her. 

He saw her in the company of Vanthiyar, the two seeming to be bantering with each other like he himself often bantered with Kundavai. From Vanthiyar’s body language, he could tell that Vanathi had won him over by just being herself. 

“Vallavarayare, Vanathi, Thirumalai,” he greeted the third too, who had been standing in the corner, watching the discussion in what could be called amusement. 

“Ilavarase!” The Vana warrior looked at him, hopeful that he would have changed his mind. Arulmozhi shook his head, smiling slightly when his new friend sighed in acceptance. 

“We need to replan tomorrow,” he said softly, sitting down on the seat coincidentally closest to Vanathi, though he knew his being was simply pulled towards her. 

“What should we do, Ponniyin Selvare?” Vanathi asked softly, her dark orbs peering at him, determined and shy all at once.

He smiled at her, joyful, and said, “I am still taking you to Thanjai on the royal elephant, Devi. But before that, maybe you could join me in the festivities as the princess of Kodumbalur?” 

**************************

Yes, Kundavai enables Arulmozhi with regards to Vanathi- I mean, are you really surprised?

Yes, I just went with the movie verse lol. 

Also. @kovaipaavai thanks for this prompt, which turned into three parts, somehow. 

@vibishalakshman @rang-lo @thelekhikawrites @kovaipaavai @chiyaanvikram @hollogramhallucination @thegleamingmoon @ragalata @willkatfanfromasia @nspwriteups @whippersnappersbookworm @yehsahihai Whoever I missed, I am sorry!