#「❝ Two-Faced Actor ❞」 - Shiloh

[briamichellewrites]

121

Borderline Personality Disorder. Brad was doing everything he could to understand his daughter. He was exhausted, and he took another drink from his beer. The house was empty, as Anna had taken Shiloh to her parents, so he could be with Elliot. She was mentally unwell with a disorder that affected how she reacted to the world around her. He imagined having a conversation with her. Elliot, I’m sorry. Sorry for what? Everything.

He apologized for not knowing about her before the abuse started, for not being able to stop the abuse, for not keeping in contact with her after Thelma and Louise, for the affair, and for being selfish. There was so much he had to apologize for. That was just a short list. He made a lot of mistakes like her father. If he would have known about the abuse, he would have done everything he could to take her out of it.

He would have taken her mother to court to get custody, and he wouldn’t have taken no for an answer. Did his mistakes end up making her an alcoholic? No, not necessarily. He took partial blame for her mental health because he didn’t understand. Now, he was starting to. I need help, Ellie. What did he need help with? Forgiving himself. He took for granted their relationship and how close they were. It took one night to fuck everything up.

He didn’t regret Anna or Shiloh, but his selfishness and the hurt he caused. The look on Mike’s face would haunt him forever as would seeing his daughter in tears. That day, she lost her role model and the only woman she trusted because of his inability to say no. Ellie, I’m sorry. You never should’ve been involved in that. For two years, he wondered where she was and what she was doing.

Until he found out she was suing him for emancipation. He cried when he got home because he realized how much he had fucked up as a father. Brad Pitt. He wasn’t worth it. That wasn’t who he wanted to be. He wanted to be William, the kid from Oklahoma. William Pitt. Brad was the guy he pretended to be while out in public. He wanted to be able to go wherever he wanted without the paparazzi and the press and people doing a double glances at him. Is that Brad Pitt?

He envied Mike and his band for that because he wished he had that privacy. Being a high-paid actor came with its disadvantages and the lack of privacy was one of them. I’m not Brad Pitt. William. I’m William from Oklahoma. Brad didn’t exist. He was a figment of everyone’s imagination. Just like the characters he pretended to play.

How do you do it? How do you have a private life without having everyone know who you are? I just want to be William. Why can’t I just be William? – Brad

It was nine at night when Mike received his text. He was drinking. That was confirmed when he called him. He could almost smell the alcohol on his breath. Though he wasn’t drunk, he was not sober. He sighed to gather himself before telling him he would be right there. After throwing on a pair of sweatpants over his boxers and a t-shirt, he grabbed his jacket before going downstairs.

He found him laying on the couch with an open bottle of beer on the table in front of him. William. He groaned because the room was spinning. Just as he was preparing to go to bed, he now had to deal with a very drunk Brad. He grabbed his bottle of beer and took it to the kitchen, where he poured it down the sink. In the refrigerator, he found more beer. He grabbed everything he had and put it into a Target bag he found in the closet. Anna always kept plastic bags to recycle them.

He then brought everything outside to his car until it was gone from his house. Alcohol was ruining Elliot and Brad. He wanted to get rid of it. Going back inside, he told him that he was not going to allow him to set an example for their daughter by allowing him to do the same shit she was doing! He went upstairs to his room and found his suitcase.

Brad got up and stumbled upstairs. What are you doing? Mike put the suitcase on his bed before opening it up and filling it up with his clothes. Mike, stop! He took a deep breath before tears welled in his eyes.

“I’m not going to lose Ellie and I’m not going to lose you! I’m not going to lose Chester! Fuck you and your addiction! I saved Ellie and I saved Chester! I’m not leaving here until I saved you, too! Tomorrow, you’re going to rehab because I’m too fucking tired of this shit. I’m tired of you guys killing yourselves. What’s your excuse? I don’t fucking care about fucking Brad Pitt! I never did. I care about the guy who is the father of our daughter. The guy who helped me raise her. I want her to know that her father is there for her. I fucking hate your addiction and what it’s doing to you guys.”

He started crying from stress and exhaustion. Brad saw him for the first time as someone trying to hold it together. That sobered him up a little. Did he have a drinking problem? He didn’t know. Mike grabbed the phone and called Anna. He wiped his eyes as he waited for her to answer. When she did, he apologized for calling so late. Did he wake her up? No, she was reading a book. What’s wrong? He told her everything he had just walked into.

Did Brad need help with his drinking because he was so close to taking him to rehab? She thanked him for finally asking. That confirmed it. He nodded before passing the phone to him. Baby. Anna teared up because he was drunk. You need help! Tears welled up in his eyes. Do it for your children and me! He nodded and stated he would before falling asleep on the floor.

Mike bent down and grabbed the phone. He and Anna talked about where he would be going and for how long. She thanked him for kicking his ass.

“Mike, please take care of yourself! Take a vacation somewhere and rest! Work on music or your art. Be selfish for a month or two.”

“That sounds very relaxing. I’ll find a place to go for a couple of weeks. Thank you. You take care of yourself and Shiloh, too.”

“We will. Thank you.”

After finishing packing, he brought his suitcase downstairs. A vacation sounded wonderful! After driving Brad to rehab, he would look into all-inclusive resorts. Somewhere tropical where he could sit on the beach with his art supplies and draw. For now, he would leave him to his sleep. He went downstairs and found a spot on the couch with a blanket. Sleep also sounded wonderful! Before long, he was fast asleep.

Brad is in detox. – Mike

He stumbled home in exhaustion. His body almost collapsed before he got to the couch. He turned off his phone before falling into the deepest sleep he had in months. His body felt like it was floating somewhere in space. He was weightless, like a feather or a leaf on a breeze. For the first time, he felt peaceful and relaxed. It was as if his stress was lifted from his shoulders. Finally, he was free.

Mike, it’s Phoenix. Just making sure you’re okay. Text me back when you can. – Phoenix

@zoeykaytesmom @feelingsofaithless @alina-dixon @fiickle-nia @boricuacherry-blog

[croissantbae]

June 12, 2023

I think I’ve written about this before but before I had kids I watched a Korean show that follows a family. The dad is an actor and the mom a singer. They had three kids. But in the program i was watching they follow the mom and she goes shopping so she can buy an outfit for a parent teacher conference. She says thst she doesn’t try to dress to impress others or even her husband. She wants to dress to make her kids proud. And I thought that was kind of weird at the time but now I totally get it. I don’t really wear dresses that much but I want to wear them for the kids. I want to be the princess they so admire right now (but I tried to wear a dress to their graduation performance so I put it on in the morning but it just felt like too much so I changed out of it at my moms and borrowed pants from my mom lol).   But anyway sometimes naya will just say these things that are like love daggers to the heart. Today she was saying “when I grow up I want to be tall like you. And I want to… be you! Haha.”  it really makes me want to be a person she can be proud of / want to be like (in every stage of her life. So right now it’s being a princess lol).  Also today on the ride home naya was saying stuff like “water starts with the letter w, queen starts with the letter Q.”  Fast forward at dinner time she wasn’t eating any veggies but she wanted dessert. So I told her she could have dessert if she has a whole slice of pizza without taking off any of the veggies on it. She couldn’t do it and so I threw the slice away and said ok but no dessert. She threw a tantrum so I filled a spoon full with all the veggies from the other pizza slices. I was like this is your last chance. If you can eat all these veggies then you can have a dessert. She started choking it down bit by bit and even Jason was like dude! That’s too much! But I was like naya, just think I want chocolate I want chocolate and eat it. Then I was like, your brain is saying thank you! You’re getting smarter! And then excitedly and confidently she goes “water starts with F!” . I was like ?!?! This is why you need to eat more vegetables.  Dani I can tell that Dani is so loved at her school. When I was picking her up two of the teachers were talking saying how cute she was. And I’m used to the teacher in the office saying that but today it was the cafeteria lady too. And she was saying how Dani will always stand and show off her dress when getting lunch. And she kept calling Dani’s name wanting to say bye. Dani really feels (and looks) like a 복순이. 

Together The kids are starting to really play so well together. I love hearing them laugh together. Or when they run into their room and close the door. I know they’re making a huge mess in their room but I don’t even care. I love thst they’re bonding (and that they’re leaving us alone lol). 

Also Dani and Shiloh have a kind of hilarious rivalry. They don’t like each other that much. Shiloh and naya have much more of a bond. Tonight we were FaceTiming Jimmy and Shiloh bc we were planning for something and at the end I said Shiloh give me a kiss. Then she gives naya a kiss, then Jason. But when it comes to Dani she goes “no!” So then Dani makes a 삐잤어 face. And then we try to encourage Shiloh to kiss Dani but she keeps saying no and then Dani makes a sad face (but I know she doesn’t care lol).  But anyway it’s just funny to see them. Oh these girls.  

[idv-murder-mystery-utopia]

"long time no see" -shiloh (ps: let her at him)

There was a moment of silence with the novelist as she heard the familiar voice of the actor, and for a moment, she turned to give a glare to him out of spite.

She said nothing, though. But it's quite obvious she still has issues with him. Hm...

Normally, she would've said something, but... Her glare is evident. Was she going to say something? Or anything at all...? Though, she might, but her next line may as well be a surprise to most who have knew her too well...

“Oh... Greetings, Monroe. Did you miss me, hm? ♪”

She set her books aside before brushing some strands of her hair, sighing before she fully faced the man with a grin.

“Now, what brings you here to visit an absent novelist? Did you miss me going after your case before, huh?”

She's definitely not letting that go, huh...

@idv-thespians

[idv-murder-mystery-utopia]

When the actor found her, she was in the midst of packing up everything, possibly to ship the files to Recluse and the other detectives. Though, at his question, she shook her head with an empty laugh.

“I meant what I said, Monroe. There's nothing left for you to dig up anymore. No mysteries, no mishaps— we're at the end of our 'game'.

Don't you get it?”

Soon, her next words left her lips, leaving a chilling atmosphere:

“There's nothing left for you anymore.”

“There's nothing left.” — Adalyn to Shiloh :> (@idv-murder-mystery-utopia ehe ♪)

“...what do you mean?”

@idv-murder-mystery-utopia

[the-price-if]

Is it possible if you could share little facts about each RO? Please and thank you.

Adrian/Ariana:

They have three dogs that they absolutely adore. Two German/Australian Shepherd mixes named Koda and Kuzco. They also have a Beagle named Shiloh.

A became famous when they were in their mid-teens and hasn’t looked back since their first album went platinum. Making a lot of mistakes that they wish they could take back. Though they’re trying their best to make people understand that what they used to be isn’t what they are now.

Was born in a small town in Montana; where the majority of their family still lives now. They have two older siblings (a brother and sister) and they have the cutest relationship with their five year old nephew; Nicky.

Blake:

For all their faults they do appreciate their fans. As they understand that they’d be nothing without them. Having them put their face in Blake has meant a lot more than one would think.

Blake is self absorbed but not to an unbearable degree. They can be cocky at times but it’s not annoying arrogance. And if they’re put in their place they find it more amusing than infuriating.

They’re more of silver screen actor than television but they have been seriously considering joining a TV show. One of their dreams is being on a sitcom, not necessarily as a star, because sitcoms are what started it all for them.

Liam/Leah:

Was born and raised in Los Angeles, California. So they know their ins and outs of the bustling city better than most. Something that’ll definitely come in handy.

Has know A for quite some time now and has a good relationship with them. Which is one of the reasons they were willing to accept the job with such a short notice.

Can be quite stoic at times, as it’s in the job description, but once you’re out of the public eye they’ll be a lot softer. Though you need to actively start getting closer to them to see any real change.

Isaac/Isabel:

Has always been a free spirit. In high school they were in a variety of clubs because they wanted to experience everything; even though they’ve always know they wanted to be a photographer. Moving to California was just the next stepping stone.

Another connection to A comes with I; as A was the first person to give them a chance. Something that helped catapult their career in a trajectory that not many saw. It’s why A has called on them now.

Isn’t the best cook. Matter of fact? It’s probably best to keep them away from the kitchen as that’ll be the best scenario for everyone involved.

Carson/Cara:

Is connected to A through Diana, A’s manager, as C owes their old friend a favor. Not that they wouldn’t have considered helping even they didn’t. But having Diana in their corner definitely helped A out.

Can be rather harsh to people that mess up, unless it’s an honest mistake, and that’ll definitely show itself sometimes in the game. As C is doing a lot to make sure this deal goes smoothly. Putting their time in on it when they could be working on more fruitful cases.

Spent the first 11 years of their life in Sydney, Australia before they moved to the US. Where they discovered their love for laws and various other pursuits within it. They still visit their family in Australia whenever they have free time.

[kwebtv]

Character Actor

Lloyd Wolfe Bochner (July 29, 1924 – October 29, 2005) Film and television actor. He appeared in many Canadian and Hollywood productions between the 1950s and 1990s and the television prime time soap opera Dynasty (1981-82).

in 1951 he moved to New York City where he appeared in early television series such as One Man's Family and Kraft Television Theatre. In 1960, ABC called with a starring role in the series Hong Kong with co-star Rod Taylor. Faced against NBC's Wagon Train, then one of the most highly rated programs on the air, Hong Kong ended with the 26th episode. In 1961, he guest-starred in The Americans, an American Civil War drama about how the conflict divided families, starring Darryl Hickman.

A few years later, Bochner appeared in one of his most famous roles, that of a cryptographer attempting to decipher an alien text in the classic 1962 Twilight Zone episode "To Serve Man", a part he spoofed years later in the comedy The Naked Gun 2½: The Smell of Fear.  In 1962 and 1963, he appeared in two episodes of the CBS anthology series, GE True, hosted by Jack Webb; he portrayed the part of Stoughton in "Code Name: Christopher, Part I"  and Captain Ian Stuart in "Commando".

From 1963 to 1964, Bochner was a member of the repertory cast of NBC's The Richard Boone Show. In 1964, he guest-starred in the Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea season-one episode "The Fear-Makers". Later that year, he appeared as murderer Eric Pollard in the Perry Mason episode, "The Case of the Latent Lover". In 1965, he guest-starred on ABC's Western series The Legend of Jesse James starring Christopher Jones in the title role. Two years later, he appeared on the ABC military-Western Custer starring Wayne Maunder in the title role. He appeared twice on the long-running television Western The Virginian in the 1960s. In 1971, Bochner appeared as Abel Wilks in "The Men From Shiloh" (rebranded name for The Virginian) in the episode titled "The Town Killer."

Over the years, Bochner continued to portray a variety of roles in television and film, from a warlock on Bewitched to a homosexual doctor coming out at middle age in the 1977 television movie Terraces.

Other television appearances were in  Combat!, The Wild Wild West,  Death Valley Days, The Wackiest Ship in the Army, 12 O'Clock High,  Honey West, Hogan's Heroes ,The Man From U.N.C.L.E., Mission: Impossible, It Takes a Thief, Hawaii Five-O,The Silent Force, Columbo, The Starlost, The Six Million Dollar Man, The Feather and Father Gang, The San Pedro Beach Bums, Barnaby Jones, Battlestar Galactica and The Golden Girls  (Wikipedia)

[onisiondrama]

(Note: I’m not repeating stories he’s told before and just putting them in parenthesis. I have a lot more videos to go until I’m caught up so that would save me a lot of time. If he gives details I never heard from him before, I will type those.)

“I Figured Something Out” Sept 24, 2020 Speaks

- Says he likes to make videos pointing out his flaws because when he realizes he was doing something wrong, he likes to point it out and move on. You shouldn’t bottle things up. - Says when he started making these video he was angry and over time he winded down. - Begs his follower to look into the Regina / Adam thing. Says Regina pretended to be a transgender person named Adam. He says he was told this by a friend of someone he loves, by someone he loves, by a Hansen insider, and two other people who looked into it. They fabricated a person and a story. He says it’s gross. He says he doesn’t know exactly what was said because he doesn’t watch those videos. - Says he recently watched a beautiful, capable, smart women talk about cancel culture and drama. She’s a republican who doesn’t believe in the far right or left. Says most people go with the flow, but she’s an individual. He says he didn’t care there were things she said that he disagreed with because of the way she spoke. He says when he talks to people online, he has to remember you’re not that different. We all have feelings and people are less reasonable in your opinion if you don’t approach them reasonably. He says he is too harsh and mean in his videos, unlike the women. He understands you’re not supposed to sugarcoat the truth, but other people have feelings. - (People are after him because he hurt their feelings.) - Brings up Regina again. He says he doesn’t know what their problem is because he never talked to them. Says there’s sincere mental illness sprinkled around the internet and it’s proven if you put Regina and Adam side by side. He says he hasn’t watch the videos side by side, but he’s seen photos. He says he doesn’t know how this got past the filters and how people can be so negligent to the truth. He says that’s what happens when you let anyone on a show. People come on to troll or to project their issues. - He says people who watched him may have felt talked down to. He says he spoke like that because he felt like his audience turned on him before he had a chance to explain why it was all ridiculous. He felt it was unintelligent for people to assume it was the truth, but he was in a situation where he was threatened with divorce if he talked. He was stuck between being the bigger person and staying silent while he was building up frustration seeing what people were saying about him. - Says if the Regina and Adam thing is true, it’s the funniest disaster that ever occurred on social media. People were saying there’s all these victims and one of them turns out to be someone dressing up as a new person. It’s bad enough people can fake texts, but when you fake a whole person that’s another level of crazy. He says he almost feels blessed to be subjected to that level of comedy. He says it’s clinically insane for someone to do that with a straight face. He says he never even heard of Adam. - When his marriage was on the rocks because of cuddlegate, he told Billie he wanted to be alone. Billie tried to work it out with him. Says that’s evil step-mom, homewrecker stuff. [I’m pretty sure he’s talking about when he made the fake divorce video and she contacted him.] Says he had the opportunity to run away and abandon his family. He chose to stay because he doesn’t want to be that dad that choses his lustful side over his heart. He broke down crying at one point because he almost let down his family and he almost lost them. He didn’t talk to Billie for a few months after cuddlegate until Kai was like “uwu”. He says he told Kai it was a bad idea and it ended horribly. Says he’s done better than his dad and numerous other dads. - Says he doesn’t speak to people in his life as respectfully as he should. - Anyone in his shoes would be just as bitter and angry as he was. Some people wouldn’t even be alive. He lashed out because he didn’t get a fair chance. People won’t do a charity stream with him. - Once he told his full side in videos, people didn’t want to interview him anymore because he didn’t seem crazy anymore. - Says he was part of the mob against Chris Brown. He said he’s had people scream in his face and he didn’t do anything illegal to them. He called the cops on them. - (Patreon ban, he didn’t dox on purpose) - He says he wants to get rid of boob squeeze because it’s cringey to him. [thank god!]

“My Social Life- Before And After COVID” Sept 25, 2020, Speaks

- (Chris Hansen covid cure) - Says before COVID he stopped going out in public because people were taking picture of his children and posting them to the internet. An employee at Lowes and at Dairy Queen took photos of his children. He’s protective of them. A man [Hansen] showed up to his house when his kids were home. - He was thankful when COVID hit because people would stay away from him. He’s happy he has to wear a mask. He was wearing a different disguise in public before the masks. - (Kai threatened divorce if he spoke) - Says people’s emotions and mental illness cloud their memories. He conquered that when he was 17. A girl dumped him and he told her she was a monster. This was before people would seek clout so it was just between them. He says he supports her breaking up with him because they weren’t meant to be. - Seeing how crazy Seattle and society has gotten, he doesn’t want to be apart of it.  - He was socially lynched without going to court. (Mike went to court) - COVID gave him on excuse to avoid everyone and family members. He says COVID is horrible and people have died, but for him it came at an interesting time. He compares it to when a kid bullied him really hard in elementary school and died in a sledding accident. Says some dude or chick in a truck hit the kid. He says another time a guy was bullying him hard and that guy died in a motorcycle accident. He gave his helmet to his girlfriend. He died a hero. He gave up his life for someone. He was handsome and had his life ahead of him. - Says according to his mother, his father got a women killed by not giving her a helmet. He kept it for himself. His father also allegedly slept with his cousin. His dad tried to sue him and failed. Three of his family member accused his father of being a predator. - A reporter interviewed his father and his father acted like a hero.  - His mom is the one who left his dad. He says she didn’t have to fight for custody so there’s no motivation for her to lie. - (beat up his dad story) - Criminal experts will agree with him to follow the money in cases because money is the root of all evil. Like a news station that will make more money by making a monster instead of telling a true story. It is not profitable to tell both sides. - People like black and white stores, not stories where both people make mistakes. - He love isolation. He was covered in his father’s blood when he went to juvie. His white shirt was brown with dry blood. He was happy to be there because he was away from people and life was simpler. Everybody in there was flawed, which is better than being with his hypocrite god-loving father. Typical Seventh Day Adventist garbage. Greg says he was one as well. When he was 13 he prayed and told god he wanted nothing to do with him. Many amazing things happened to him after that. - Says you have a lot of drifters who came and destroyed someone consistent in you life, then they left. He was that consistent person. He was making hundreds of videos and entertaining thousands of people per video. Now he’s down to 900 to 3,000 views per video. They came, they destroyed, they left. They destroyed someone you connected with, had a real bond with. A lot of you cheered them on as they did this and then they left. Now you’re left with the same person, but he’s more broken. He believed in good people before, but now that he was dragged down into dirt, he has dirt in his eyes. He can’t see the sun or trees. He can just see dark and sadness. He still feels your spit on his face from when you millions of people beat him senseless socially. - He says he saw a legitimate news source says there was an FBI investigation about him. Says the FBI never contacted him. - Leafy recently suggested he should become an actor. He compares it to Kevin Spacey. Says it would be sad to lose a netflix show or a movie deal because of people saying things about you. He says imagine people who were going to be on that show with you stop talking to you because they don’t want to be dragged down with you. He’s glad he wasn’t that big when he fell because it would have hurt more. Now he gets to be a no one who knows who he really is when most people live in an alternate reality. - When he lost BillyTheFridge as a friend, he didn’t lose anything because Billy was a fake friend. Billy wanted to be a white knight. Joe and Anastasia were great friends and wanted to still talk to him. Billy later on realized James wasn’t as evil as he thought and invited him to lunch with them. Says he (James) backed out and decided to stop talking to all of them. He says it’s sad he lost Joe and Anastasia as friends, but he didn’t want to drag them into the drama and make their lives more miserable. Having friends was a burden and he didn’t want them to hurt. - (Regina / Adam) Dobs is barking. - He feels like this whole thing is a grand opportunity to look at things the way they are. He doesn’t trust anyone anymore and he doesn’t believe in friendships anymore. - He swears on his life he’s more honest than Sarah, Billie, and Shiloh.

[robinsnest2111]

Favorite shows besides MTL? Also favorite movies, books?

Ohhh, at the moment I'm really into Hogan's Heroes!

Avatar: The Last Airbender has been a favourite ever since I saw all 3 seasons on TV as a kid/teen. Cat Scratch is another big favourite from back in the day! (I used to stay up all night to watch TV and sometimes I'd catch episodes of Cat Scratch at 9pm and the re-runs at 5am before school lol)

All time favourite movie: The Road to El Dorado! I still remember the day my mother took me to burger king to get the toys (I had Miguel, Altivo and Tzekel Kan lol). I used to annoy my parents to rent the dvd at the local video rental store on the regular until they got fed up and bought me a dvd of my own :') And I still know all the songs by heart!

I'm also really soft for Nightmare Before Christmas, Corpse Bride and Coraline! And a handful of Ghibli movies (The Cat Returns, Howl's Moving Castle, Kiki's Delivery Service), Shrek, Madagascar, Emperor's New Groove and Mary Poppins used to be on regular dvd player rotation for years as well lol

In terms of movies with real actors, I have a small collection of Spaghetti Western movies (most of them with Lee Van Cleef because Revolver Ocelot is based on him lol) which are really comforting to me because nice memories and nice memes with nice people :') Sabata and Beyond The Law are my favourites!

Mad Max: Fury Road is also very cool, really aesthetic. Love the cinnamon tography 👌

Oh and not to forget: Codename UNCLE and What We Do In The Shadows!

I feel really bad about it, but lately I've not felt up to reading as much as I did a few years ago... So most of my favourite books are from my childhood and teen years lol

Shiloh, the Inkheart series and a few select Goosebumps books are what I devoured in just a few reading sessions in the middle of the night as a kid. The Indiana Jones novels were also subjected to the same treatment lol

A few more "recent" favourites are: The Hobbit, a few select Sherlock Holmes stories, Frankenstein, a gay parody of Sherlock Holmes I got for my 17th birthday (Hemlock Bones: A Stud In Scarlet by Sarah Masters), and a historical gay mystery/romance novel I found at a random grocery store (Think of England by K. J. Charles)

Do fanfics count as books? Because I got two favourites in that category that could very well count as books because of their length and depth and level of emotion and action. First one is: Season of Light and Shadow by eldritchmage on AO3, 160 chapters of Modern AU Barduil goodness which got me through one of my toughest years) And the second one I'm in the process of catching up with and finishing: Men of Honor (109 chapters of Hogan's Heroes fanfic with a Klink x Hogan flavour and some serious historical parts concerning the last few months of life and war in Germany before the surrender to the Allies.)

And I'm extremely fond of two stories a dear friend has written over the past few years:

Blutige Anfänger (literally "Bloody Beginners"), an entertaining and thrilling story about Count Dracula being woken up in modern times and having to face a new very strict and bureaucratic vampire society (typically german lol) alongside a recently turned college student who would rather be back on twitter than deal with all this mess lol (best thing is that parts of the story play in a city that I know well and in areas that I have fond memories of!!!)

And Hyding Adam, a story that started as a Frankenstein/Jekyll+Hyde crossover and turned into something absolutely beautiful ahhh I still get all teary-eyed just thinking about it! (I'm even responsible for one song on the matching Hyding Adam mood playlist!!!)

There's probably loads of movies, series and books I can't think of right now but this will do for now lol

[forgiven-whimsy]

The Red Violin

FFXIV write 2020 prompt 2: Sway

Shiloh’s song  Shiloh and Emet’s duet (note the spotify version has a longer piano opening.) 

Anyways, touches of Lominsan/Vylbrand headcanons (they’re the ff Newfoundland, imo)  Aumortine music and art headcanons, and Garlean headcanons. Imagery leaning heavily on 5.3 revelations, while I don’t use express spoilers, reader beware. 

Set After Rak’Tika, but before Ahm Areng. 

Rated T - Angst

Wol x Emet-Selch

(Why yes the Red Violin is one of my all time favorite movies, why do you ask?) 

~

“I am a patron of the arts, always have been, the best your kind has to offer is found in the arts, incomplete as it is, there’s a certain charm to be found in it.” Emet-Selch sipped from his wine glass, swiping his gloved finger over the bars surface then wrinkling his nose. 

“What do you mean incomplete? Art is by its very nature subjective, therefore art’s completeness is defined by the artist, not the audience.” Shiloh replied, not particularly keen on hearing about all the ways she was inferior, but curious about how his timeless people made music, or art, the idea of Asciens being artists was a foreign concept, yet getting to know Emet-Selch, not entirely far-fetched. Solus Zos Galvus was historically a patron of the arts, she’d been aboard the Prima Vista and seen the reach of his patronage.

“It would be easier to show you.” And with a snap of his fingers the Crystarium vanished and he transported them to an entirely different environ. They were in a theatre, great gold trimmed red curtains, on stage a spotlight centered on a sleek black grand piano, surrounding it was all manner of string instruments, violin, cello, lute, harp, and even others she couldn’t name, Shiloh itched to touch them, to try them and see what sound they might make. The stage jutted out in a half moon, far more open than anything she’d ever seen, the audience seating surrounded the stage allowing a certain intimacy between artist and audience. Above, there was a massive chandelier whose teardrop crystals twinkled in the soft theatre lighting, the balconies climbed three stories, each gilded and carved with vines and flowers, painted in reds and golds, opulent. Stage left there was one particular balcony that caught her eye, the carvings more elaborate and draped in finery. 

“This is the Great Arena Theatrum in Garlemald,” Shiloh near gasped out, before rounding on Emet-Selch, “you brought me to Garlemald?” She had just let him, an Ascien, teleport her to the heart of enemy territory, and she wasn’t sure whether to be annoyed, furious or ashamed at being taken so easily. The musician in her near fainted with joy. Regardless of Garlean politics, every musician, actor, and dancer worth their salt has dreamt of performing on the Theatrums stage, Shiloh was no exception. While she was the daughter of a Doman refugee, she had been raised in Vylbrand, and the island's lifeblood was music. A house wasn’t a home without a piano, and a fiddle, and she’d been taught both as a child. She could recall playing her fiddle standing on the kitchen table imagining herself on this very stage. 

“Calm down hero, we are in an approximation of my own making, hidden away from prying eyes here in Norvrant, my fool grandson let the Theatrum fall into disrepair.” He sniffed derisively, “when I have proven my point to you I shall return you to the Crystarium without a hair out of place. It wounds me that you still don’t trust me.” He gave her a smile that did not inspire trust. 

He walked her into the spotlight, his gloved hands touching her lightly at the elbow, the twinkling light from the chandelier painted stars onto the raised top of the grand piano exposing the finely curved wood and strings within. Sitting on the piano bench was a violin case, Emet-Selch presented it to her with a flourish. Shiloh sat and opened the case to reveal the most exquisite violin she’d ever beheld. The spruce top had been stained a deep red with a bow to match, she delicately ran her fingers over the curving wood, the strings, the bow. Shiloh made a noise in her throat as she lifted the rare treasure into her arms, that prompted a chuckle from her Ascien companion. “A peace offering, the only condition is to play me something that stirs your soul, something original if it please.” He lifted her chin forcing her gaze from the violin to him, “move me, and I shall show you what your music once was.” 

“No pressure,” Shiloh held his gaze, seeing a spark of something she couldn’t describe in his golden eyes. “It’s been years since I’ve played, anything.” The weight of his expectation was heavy. He only smiled. 

“I have faith in you, dear hero.” Emet-Selch snapped his fingers and he disappeared into a black portal, she heard it re-open stage left, and there he sat, every inch an emperor in his gilded private balcony. “Take whatever time you need to warm up.” he called from his lavish chair, glass of wine in hand. With that, the theatre lights dimmed, the instruments, all save the grand piano, vanished, the spotlight remained on her. 

Shiloh felt like a mouse being toyed with by a cat. Squaring her shoulders she set the violin to her chin and prayed to all the Twelve and Kami, The Light and Dark both, that the bow would glide across the strings without screaming. The last time she’d picked up a violin was at Haurchefant’s funeral, at the behest of Lord Edmont, nearly two years past. A lance of grief sliced through her.  She could refuse, she could tell him to bring her back to the Crystarium, but then, she’d never know what Ascien music sounded like. It was the memory of Haurchefant, the two of them sitting shoulder to shoulder playing a silly duet on his childhood piano in the Fortempt music room that steeled her spine.

She started with a slow scale, each note sung and not screamed, to her considerable relief. Shiloh exhaled, it wasn’t perfect, but it wasn’t terrible, her fingers remembered the strings. She warmed up with scales, old childhood lullabies, folk songs played around the kitchen table. Finally she played an Ishgardian waltz, the sheet music a gift from her departed friend. She felt herself smiling, eyes shut, tail swaying in time with the tempo. Her mind filling in the missing instruments as the red violin sang with a full and mournful voice. So focused on practicing and remembering, Shiloh didn’t hear Emet-Selch’s portal behind her. 

“All very lovely, my dear, I’m sure Master Jevant Dufet would be pleased with such an able rendering of the Midnight Waltz, and without sheet music, most impressive.” 

Shiloh startled, spinning around to face him.

Emet-Selch tutted her while he approached, he placed gentle hands at her waist, spinning her back into the spotlight. He was in her space and she could feel his warmth, smell his scent. “I didn’t ask you to stop.” His long arms reached around lifting the violin back to her collar bone, he tilted her head just so before tracing a gloved finger along her jaw and arched neck. “I want to hear the song that resides in your soul.” His breath ghosted along her cheek, the timber of his voice resonating along her horn, and she felt her skin pebble. “Will you play it for me?” 

“I don’t know, I don’t have any original composi-” 

“Stop thinking, close your eyes, listen, and play.” His voice was patient, while he lifted her bow arm to the right position. 

Shiloh inhaled, and did as she was bid, listening, for what, she didn’t know. She felt the quick beat of a Thanvarian flamenco fluttering in her chest and slowly bow met strings, and the song that flew out was urgent, her bowing quick and precise borrowing heavily of the Thanvarian style, but so too was there a distinctly Ul’dhan quality, in her mind's eye she felt as a bird flying over the dunes, weaving over the rising heat. 

Emet-Selch’s touch was soft, gone was the silk of his glove, replaced by warm skin, his snap fit within her song and suddenly the guitar, the percussion, the accompanying strings, the piano, the light horns, the full voice of her song burst forth, the violin threading through each section. “Open your eyes.” he whispered against her horn, and she did. 

Gone was the theatre, they were bathed in the colours of the sunset, and above them flew a phoenix, dipping and diving along all the lands she’s seen, and saved, and loved. “Don’t stop.” he whispered, setting a hand on her hip and squeezing. She gasped at the sight, at the raw beauty. And she played with a bursting heart, tears slipping from unblinking eyes unwilling to look away from the dancing phoenix. She increased the tempo, bowing more quickly, the notes tumbling along the winds of the star, knowing that it would end if she stopped, and she didn’t want it to stop. She let the fire in her soul burn as brightly as she could, uncaring of the ach in her fingers, knowing only that the creature above was born of her music, and so she played for it’s pleasure, and it soared, the violin it’s voice and heart. Until in a burst of flame it was consumed, and the song ended. 

She swayed on her feet, consumed by emotion, bittersweet tears running down her face. She leaned against Emet-Selch who remained behind her, his hand at her throat, and hip moving gently, caressing. Overwhelmed she exhaled a shuddering breath. 

“Do you understand now, what was lost?” He asked quietly, voice heavy with the same emotion she was feeling.

“How did you?”

“I assure you my dear I did nothing but lend you a sliver of my power, the song, the image, everything, was born of your heart, your soul. And so it was that all art was created in a similar fashion. The full intent of the piece complete.” 

Shiloh spun in his arms, still clutching bow and violin, she was met with a half quirked smile and a softness in his eyes she’d not thought possible. He tenderly brushed the tears from her cheeks, “yours was always a beautiful song, so full of passion.” 

Shiloh’s head was swimming, she wanted to keep playing, she had so many questions, and yet she found herself drowning in the liquid gold of his eyes, the same pale gold as her own. She licked her lips, and leaned against the palm of his hand where he held her cheek. 

“Play with me?” she asked breathless, “before we go, play with me, a duet.” He closed his eyes, his expression pained, “please, Emet.”

“How can I turn down so earnest a plea?” he gave her a rueful smile, “but, first.” He pressed his forehead to her own, and she felt something, cool, and comforting wash over her, where her song, her aether, she belatedly realized, was like the sun, Emet-Selch’s aether, his soul was as the moon. Her own aether responded, curious and warm, until their essence mingled, until there was no ending nor beginning between them. “There, that should serve.” 

Shiloh both did and didn’t understand what he’d done, he stepped back going to the grand piano. His presence remained, slowly curling around her, lazy and familiar. “As before, listen, and play.” 

Shiloh lifted the violin, and tilted her head, giddy with anticipation, moving to be in sight of him and waited. 

Emet began the song, quiet notes on the piano, Shiloh did not close her eyes this time. With each passing note the theatre fell away replaced by blackest night until a city made of stardust rose around them. He met her eyes and nodded and she knew her part had come and she joined her song to his, she knew the notes, a song from a past she couldn’t place, suddenly the starlit city filled with people wraithlike and sparkling. But it was two individuals that caught her eye. Emet-Selch changed the tempo to a style she’d never heard before, yet it was familiar, she adjusted her tempo to match. The two wraiths danced, spinning through the grand city, there was joy in their movements. Unadulterated love between them. One lifted the other, and she could swear the one who was lifted laughed, when placed down they ran from the first, a game. The first chased, sometimes catching them in a kiss, sometimes missing, until the other rounded back to jump into the firsts arms. Shiloh’s heart ached, the song and starlit players a half remembered memory. The song changed again, mournful, the city fell away, one of the wraiths, the one who played, faded, leaving only one, until it also faded, and the song ended. 

She felt the pain thrumming from Emet’s aether still entwined with her own, his head bowed over the piano. Shiloh set the violin back in its case and went to him, wrapping her arms around his back, anything to ease the overwhelming sadness. His hand grasped at her arm, and she felt a shudder from him. 

“I’m here.” She whispered against his ear, soft hair tickling her nose. 

He shook his head. 

“I’m here.” She repeated, not understanding all, but knowing what she witnessed in their shared song had been a glimpse of their story.

He twisted in her arms, anguish on his face, “you left.” his voice a harsh whisper fraught with emotion. 

She had no answer for him, nothing to ease the pain, she didn’t understand, didn’t remember, whatever her soul had been to him, was gone, but it’s echo knew him, called to him, and she kissed his angry mouth, a despairing sound whimpered from Emet’s throat. He grabbed her and kissed her again, and again, hungry, lost, full of longing. Their twined aether created a feedback loop consuming them. His hands were everywhere, and Shiloh arched into him. In a moment he had her against the piano, discordant notes interrupting their growing passion. It was enough to stop them, and for a half beat they stared at each other panting. Emet-Selch was the first to move, tearing his aether from hers, and she winced, the withdrawal a physical pain. He snapped his fingers, returning Shiloh to the Crystarium, as promised, without so much as a word.

She made her way back to her room in the Pendants, still processing everything she’d learned, and seen, and felt. Every so often touching her kiss swollen lips. She slid into her room meeting no one she knew along the way, no one to question the high blush on her cheek and chest, or the dazed look in her eyes. Distracted as she was it took a minute for her to notice the violin case sitting on her kitchen table. She knew before opening it what she’d find within, a promise, a memory, her red violin. 

[greatell]

My issue with GH is that it delays storylines for too long. It also backtracks way too often. Shiloh dead should have been the end of the story, and yet they have to add more on because the fans want to see Jasam be miserable 11 months out of the year and happy for a month at most lol. Also, the flash drive with Drew’s memories on it. They delayed it so much that Billy Miller and Elizabeth Hendrickson left. The Jonah/Wiley storyline is still going on. They need to realize that shorter is better.

Don’t forget the Sasha storyline not ending when Lulu revealed the truth. I don’t delude myself into thinking JaSam should be together 24/7, happy playing house. But since they’ve reunited they’ve probably been together a total of a month. They couldn’t be together publicly because of Drew. Then they “broke up” for the Shiloh storyline. And now Sam is in jail. They get a week or two together before being ripped apart. And even when they are together we get a minute of them being a couple or a family with Danny before the Shiloh or now Peter talk starts. The only time we get short or face paced storyline is when someone like margaux or drew were leaving. This show needs to cut down on the cast, cut down on the repetitive storylines, cut out all the sexual assault storylines, and have no storyline go beyond 6 months. There’s too much dead weight on this show and it’s costing other storylines or actors leaving

[ammapreker]

CELIA ST. CLEMENT 19 / theater actress

[ content warning for alcoholism ]

an inescapable need for more ∘ blurry memories ∘ waking up inexplicably bruised ∘ forgetting yesterday ∘ tangled limbs ∘ stage lights spilling across an empty stage ∘ crumbling flower petals ∘ shakespeare’s words caressing careful tongues ∘ empty wine bottles rolling against hardwood floors » a dramatic creature with a mercurial temperament / some days, her jovial moods can conjure only the bright beam she makes herself into; others, the shadows hang closer, shrouding her in darkness / her sister’s mirror image, only just noticing the spidery cracks crawling through the glass / widely considered the dark shadow to clara’s gleaming light, but perhaps it was always the other way around (or, better yet, maybe neither of them could ever have made a claim at innocence) / drowns her traumas in alcohol even before scarlet floods her palms, a symbol of her guilt that can’t be washed away / sobs harden in her throat, echoes of how could we have— silenced roughly before she speaks the final words, makes them real / life, she begins to believe, woozy with alcohol and drugs as her feet drag across a stage, has lost all sense of reality / regret seeps into her bones, flooding her senses until only two artifacts of her former life remain: the flask hidden within her pockets and the lie that keeps them safe—for now.

connections » clara st. clement [twin sister] / shiloh spencer [co-actor]

needs » the rest of the murder crew / theater actors for the shakespeare festival / former (and/or current) lovers / drinking buddies

DAWSON HUGO 35 / songwriter

piano notes spilling from a dark room ∘ whispered temptations ∘ subtle humor ∘ hidden desires ∘ script-filled notebooks ∘ creeping loneliness ∘ a toe stepped carefully over the line ∘ secrets locked behind sealed lips ∘ slipping into the darkening night » a lesson on monetizing the thoughts swirling in his mind, the temptations beating in his heart / a man who came from just above nothing and now has everything he’s ever wanted—or does he? / a former keyboardist in a band that never made it who’s risen on the back of his own penned verses / doesn’t feel pity for the bandmates whose lives he once knew as well as his own, rarely seeing them after their fall / he knows he’s gifted, talented, creative—perhaps too well / even so, he feels safer in the shadows—unremembered by crowds, sought by artists wishing to give voice to his scrawls / a dreamer who plucked his dreams and thrust them into reality before finding they’d lost their glimmer / unsatisfied, and reconciled with it (or so he thinks) / jumps from girl to girl and song to song so often, throwing himself into each before his interest wanes / finds a girl for keeps, or so he thinks until another comes his way / pleas of just this once slowly burning away every line he’s never crossed / he steps, and steps, and steps (he thought he was better than this) / he’s drunk on a girl he shouldn’t be, losing himself to the toxicity / addiction’s never felt so sweet.

connections » birdie barnes [roommate & songwriting partner] / daisy howard [girlfriend]

needs » his former bandmates who may or may not hate him for ending up with a songwriting deal even after they crashed and burned (he was the keyboardist) / a brother who never quite got over living in his shadow / exes he’s fooled around with and inevitably left due to prolonged disinterest / friends in the record industry / friends in general / singers he might have worked with in the past

FRANCESCA MANCINI 21 / croupier

[ content warning for murder, hit & run ]

a bookcase filled with whodunnits ∘ expired contacts littering the trash can ∘ waking to an early dawn ∘ fervent “i told you so”’s ∘ a tendency to over-prepare ∘ stepford smiles finally loosening their grip ∘ a desperation for salvation ∘ crippling paranoia ∘ a sudden recklessness ∘ too smart for your own good » the clever girl gone sour, gone cold, gone fearful / once, she might have convinced herself that the bright future she saw before her could remain as it was—true, pure, incapable of being tarnished by any deed she might commit / (she hadn’t known, then, what she’d be capable of) / one moment, they’d been light as air, flooded with victory; the next, a crash had left them plummeting to the ground with no safety net / they keep the secret, cover their tracks—they know how, after all / she thinks, then, of all the crimes she’s witnessed, solved; what would i have done, she’d wondered, to not get caught / perhaps she’d always known that she’d find herself on the opposing side, another criminal aching to bury her secrets / they don’t bury them deep enough; i know what you did, the letters say, promising retribution with words unspoken / all she can think: what will i do to not get caught. 

connections » ludovica mancini [sister] / audrey astor, luna graves & the rest of mystery inc. [best friends]

needs » scooby doo-inspired request / co-workers for the illegal gambling den she’s currently working undercover at (with plans to expose them) to feel less guilty / exes galore / friends outside of the scooby gang who she’s likely distanced herself from as a result of what happened / literally anything, she’s completely open!

LIAM HANLON 31 / paralegal

[ content warning for death ]

newspaper pages tossed aside in a flurry ∘ clenched jaws ∘ pulsing migraines ∘ eyes glued to a phone screen ∘ a life passing by, unnoticed ∘ grasping to self-assurance as the world collapses into ruins ∘ burnt coffee ∘ time ticking endlessly away on a watch face ∘ brisk strides ∘ this cannot go on » a man consumed with a future that’s not his own / wants and dreams glisten upon the ladder he’s thrust himself upon, certain that the top will provide everything he wants—a name, a position, a surge of support swelling beneath him as he makes his own political strides / if he ever reaches the top; if he ever manages to pull himself from the outskirts of history into its center / currently a paralegal with dreams of a brighter future that’ll never come to fruition / driving himself mad with impatience and jealousy / stares at the ring on his fiancée’s hand and wonders if it would be better to leave, better to break up the monotony with a complete abandonment of his current life / the death of her sister dismantles any actions he might have taken; their inheritance of a two year old with only an aunt left to claim her submits them to mere fantasies never to be made real / the pressure mounts—the baby’s cries, zara’s grief, his mother’s new book—until the cracks begin to show / it’s only a matter of time before he breaks.

connections » zara şensoy [fiancée]

needs » siblings who are equally f*cked up with a mother whose parenting books delved a little too deeply into their childhoods / exes galore / friends. he’s a lot but he needs them / especially friends with children because he somehow has a baby now???

ROSCOE RYAN 21 / student

unquenchable curiosity ∘ obedient tongues ∘ 20/20 peripheral vision ∘ whispers quieting after stepping foot into a room ∘ a diary full of words unspoken ∘ burying a past with dulcet lies ∘ unrelenting pride ∘ a villain casting himself in the role of the observer, nothing more ∘ imminent betrayal » a boy born to trailer parks and unappeasable parents no, let’s rewrite the story, shall we? / a boy born beneath the glistening stars of los angeles (true) with parents unaffected by his presence (true) and consumed by the monotony of their daily lives (true) as heirs to a fortune passed down from his grandfather (lie) / the moment he steps within the bounded gates of ucla, he reinvents himself, sprinkling importance and wealth into a past bereft of both / the collections of photographs that hang upon his walls impress upon the viewer two facts / the first: the frat he’s grown in, thrived in, means everything to him / the second: his life, as he’d prefer it, began three years prior with his steps upon the college lawns / perfection blooms in every scene, every pose, even as whispers threaten to tarnish the gilded legacy he’s built / did you hear? the students gasp amongst each other, their gazes sliding across every boy decked in the letters of sigma chi / the rumors—hazing, terror, oh my god, is he—spread like wildfire / still, the kid won’t speak / still, guilt hovers above them all, awaiting a place to rest.

connections » pierce griffin [fraternity brother] / bambi wheeler [former friend & neighbor]

needs » frat boy crew (request to come!) / miscellaneous hook ups / old trailer park acquaintances he’ll pretend not to know / someone to tell him his frat almost put the blame on him for the hazing incident

SILAS GRAVES 24 / vampire bartender

last night’s glitter clinging to your skin ∘ hollow laughter ∘ cheshire grins ∘ jumping into pools fully clothed ∘ fake blood recipes ∘ coffins are rather comfy, you know ∘ locking memories away ∘ empty wine bottles cluttered around sinks ∘ gathering fog ∘ dark streets slick with rain ∘ sink your teeth in » a boy who glorifies in bringing the traits of the undead into the land of the living / is it all real, or just an act? that’s a secret sealed behind reddened lips, one he’ll take to his grave / you can only guess as rants regarding edward cullen spill between the would-be vampire and his audience, compelled—by curiosity, by magic, who can say?—to listen the dulcet tones of his voice uninhibited by the fangs curling around his teeth / believes himself untouchable, untethered—free / still, his past clings to him, pulling him backwards at every turn even as he crushes the memories that seek to undo him / he’s nothing more than this—a glitter-clad man longing to be a monster known from fables / untouchable, untethered to the reality that everyone else finds themselves bound to / that, there, is true freedom. 

connections » oskar björk [employer] / fleur zhao [being catfished by her]

needs » additional coworkers for the horror bar / exes, currents (flings and flirts) / people for him to argue with about the merits of edward cullen’s popularity amongst vampires / more people for the adoptive graves fam / friends who either embrace or ignore his weirdnesses / literally anything else

SPENCER LINDSAY 23 / con artist

ghosting™ ∘ sharp stilettos clacking on a subway car ∘ longing for a stranger’s touch ∘ swollen lips ∘ empty houses ∘ discarded half-smoked cigarettes ∘ strawberry milkshakes ∘ silent screams ∘ hope lingering just out of reach ∘ a crunch of glass underfoot ∘ never look back » a ghost, haunting the remnants of her former life / past spencer lindsay: beautiful, popular, a bright future gleaming in her eager palms / current spencer lindsay: beautiful, nameless, stolen money and jewelry sparkling against the bright gleam of a street lamp / the division: a fortune nearly lost, a mother’s desperate act, a stepfather’s final breath / her father’s fraud charges and subsequent rush out of the us barely merited a recollection outside her social circle; her mother’s murder trial, however, summoned the attention of los angeles and it held her captive / her mother loses; she disappears in the night—door left open, a broken wine glass scattered in pieces on the living room floor, a closet full of clothes she couldn’t carry with her / no investigation can cease the steady stream of rumors even now—dead, killed, gone / she waits in the wings, knowing she should never have come back, unable to keep herself away.

connections » nicholas hawthorne [ex-boyfriend] / benji wyatt [ex-boyfriend] / chloe valentine [con besties] / willa de witte [former best friend]

needs » the o.c. crew (request coming shortly) / people to steal from / the bling ring crew (request to come!) / exes from her high school days / people to hook up with while she pines away / people she f*cked over back in the day / people she’s f*cking over now / someone who knows her by one of her other aliases and who she may or may not have stolen from (oops) / people who/whose families her dad stole from back in the day who might be holding a grudge

TRISTAN BENNET 22 / runaway

crooked smiles ∘ unspoken desperation ∘ dreams warring against doubt ∘ ripping away old skins ∘ the growing ease of a lie ∘ worn sneakers ∘ festering distrust ∘ crumpled bills stuffed into pockets ∘ rush of adrenaline ∘ being watched ∘ shoes pounding against asphalt » formerly a texas boy, he’s since shed his accent, his history, his very own name—the only truth he’s maintained is his sister / they stole away in the night on the eve of the wedding their parents had forced upon her, giving up their lives as they knew them for a chance at freedom / freedom is: devouring every matt damon and ben affleck movie they can get their hands on, learning the twists of the boston accents they’ve affected; bringing their sister back from the dead as their “connection” to los angeles, forcing their memories of her into the role of hopeful young actress dreaming of the big screen; learning to force smiles upon his lips as nerves eat away at the blessed happiness that had encompassed him upon their escape / it’s terrifying in its splendor, in its ephemerality / he thinks: if they find out. he thinks: they can’t. / spends his nights waking to every footstep outside the motel door and his days jumping at each and every craigslist ad he can get his hands on / the money he’d stolen as a second thought dwindles in his palms and he’s starved for safety, for survival / he thinks: what might i do, for that. 

connections » juliet bennet [sister] / the shakespeare theatre crew [he works part-time backstage]

needs » friends are likely in short supply since he tends to keep himself ~under the radar~, but he should have some anyway / maybe a drug dealer for him to get involved with to make more $$$ / people with some fun craigslist requests for interesting threads / potential make outs now that he’s ~free~ and able to explore his sexuality (he’s a virgin, please be gentle) before he ghosts them

[captain-ross-poldark]

Gabriella Wilde on the Poldark gender pay gap, pregnancy and how she came to terms with being posh  (The Telegraph)

The new series of Poldark gets off to a frankly preposterous start. After bitter complaints, last year, that there weren’t enough sightings of Aidan Turner’s incomparable - and highly controversial - torso), the writers have clearly decided to give the people what they want.

And who can blame them? In the opening scene of the fourth series, which airs tomorrow night, Ross Poldark finally has his Daniel Craig moment. Striding naked but for a pair of breeches from the sea, his abs glistening, he resembles an 18th century James Bond. And just like that, the nation will be hooked for another summer to this curious drama about a Cornish mining town.

The hysteria around Turner’s chest seems to reach such a fever pitch every year, with some chatter that the show has been eclipsed by fraught debates around whether or not it is acceptable for female viewers to openly ogle the actor. For Turner, it must all be getting a bit old by now, but for the rest of the cast, it’s an opportunity to gently poke fun at him.

“I mean I guess it’s what people want to see,” says Gabriella Wilde, 29, who plays Caroline Penvenen, the coquettish heiress who refuses to abide by 18th century codes of behaviour. “Poor Aidan, rather him than me!

“I do feel for him because it’s so talked about, and filming those scenes is probably awkward. I’m sure he’s being cheered at and the crew are making jokes,” she adds. “But if you’re going to do it you’ve got to laugh at yourself. It’s paying the bills.”

Gabriella Wilde as Caroline Penvenen in Poldark Credit: Mammoth Screen

And, to be fair, he does rather ask for it. This week, Turner admitted to choosing a smaller horse to ride because it makes him look “bigger”, and said that his trousers have got tighter over his years in the role.

But as Wilde remarks: “Well, maybe he’s a very smart man”.

She holds no truck with allegations that fans “objectify” Turner, arguing it is “different” from the kind of attention women get. She calls the reaction to Turner’s appearance “more lightheartedness”, whereas “women have been forced into thinking it’s a currency they have to use to get ahead, or to get the job. For women it is so deeply ingrained and infects so many aspects of your life.”

Wilde perhaps has more authority on the matter than most, having modelled from 14, when she was “discovered” by style icon Isabella Blow, whom she met through a friend of her mother’s (more on her well-connected family later).

Soon after, she met Naomi Campbell, who insisted Wilde be introduced to her agency, Premier Model Management. She was immediately successful, modelling for Burberry among others, but turned her back on it four years later to pursue acting.

“I started working from a very young age,” she says. “I had my mother with me, but there were things that went on…” she pauses. “I was working on fashion campaigns that were very much for women and probably being sexualised in a way that I couldn’t comprehend yet myself.

'I was working on fashion campaigns that were very much for women and probably being sexualised in a way that I couldn’t comprehend yet myself' Credit: Andrew Crowley

“I’ve definitely had experiences looking back that, umm… I don’t think were ok. But it was just the norm. What’s good now is that there’s a questioning of that”.

It seems to have given Wilde a thick skin. She is softly spoken, and distractingly beautiful, but possesses a steeliness. “A woman isn’t being ‘difficult’ if she’s trying to stand up for something that she needs,” she says.

She is proud of her co-star, Eleanor Tomlinson (who plays Poldark’s wide, Demelza), for recently addressing the programme’s gender pay gap, forcing producers to admit that Turner was paid more. “If she had said that a year ago, I think people would have been up in arms, or she might have got into trouble with production because of the way the industry is,” says Wilde. “She has every right to say that, and she has every right to ask for what she thinks she deserves.”

Wilde admits she wouldn’t necessarily risk broaching the subject herself - yet. “I think that every actress has to push themselves, even if they feel frightened” she says. “[But] I would still feel nervous to request that for fear of losing the job.”

When she first joined the cast, in series two, Wilde (who has two sons - Sasha, four, and Shiloh, two) had to tell producers she was pregnant. “I was very scared,” she concedes. “I thought I would lose the job. Now I would bowl in there a lot more boldly and say ‘I’m pregnant and don’t you dare try and fire me’.

When she first joined the cast, in series two, Wilde (who has two sons - Sasha, four, and Shiloh, two) had to tell producers she was pregnant Credit: Andrew Crowley

She has, however, “had a really good experience. I was hugely supported and lucky - it was pre the MeToo movement and this great empowerment of women in our industry. They made it work, I was on set until I was eight and a half months pregnant. The costumes fitted around me.”

When Shiloh was born, he came to the set, as Wilde was breastfeeding. “I don’t have the luxury of saying ‘I’m taking maternity leave’ because the show films when it does - so you have to make allowances for me to mother in the way that I want to,” she explains. “The days were scheduled around my son’s feeding times. It’s a brilliant example to set.”

It helps, she says, that home is close by. She and her husband - Alan Pownall, the singer for electro band Pale - moved to Somerset just before she got the part. “It couldn’t have been more perfect,” says Wilde. “It films for six months and then I take six months off to be with my children.”

Motherhood (which came unexpectedly early) has given her “a different kind of drive”, she says. “I am a mother first and my job is my job, it’s not my life. I want to get out of the door as quickly as possible, so that I can get home.”

Her rural family life is somewhat different to her own upbringing. Wilde has an almost preposterously posh pedigree - she was born Gabriella Zanna Vanessa Anstruther-Gough-Calthorpe - something, she admits, she has shied away from talking about. “I was desperately trying to define myself away from the image of what people might think. As I get older I feel more comfortable in saying that I am just me, and I don’t need to try and sever that. My upbringing, my family, is a huge part of who I am. I’m proud of them.”

'I’m slightly done with the corsets' Credit: Mike Hogan

“Them” is a bevy of beautiful, blonde siblings - a tattoo on Wilde’s arm denotes, in Roman numerals, her position as seventh child. Her father, John Anstruther-Gough-Calthorpe, is a businessman and both her parents were previously married, which makes Gabriella one of a sprawling clan. She counts Prince Harry’s former flame Cressida Bonas among them (whose mother, Lady Mary-Gaye Curzon, was married to Gabriella’s father).

“I think I probably mother in quite a different way to the way I was brought up,” says Wilde. “I wasn’t breastfed. I sleep with my children and I was definitely in a cot, probably at the other end of the house. My mother didn’t work, I do. My parents had very defined roles.”

What will she do after the Poldark, West Country bubble bursts? (The show is only due to run to one more season in 2019). “I think maybe not period drama, I’m slightly done with the corsets,” she laughs. “I’d love to do something in a t-shirt.”

What about The Crown, I offer? She could play her step-sister, Cressida.

“Oh no, no no,” she says wide eyed, waving her hands in front of her face in horror. “I think if The Crown is going for that long then we all need to move on.”

Poldark begins on Sunday at 9pm on BBC One

The Telegraph 10 June 2018

[idv-murder-mystery-utopia]

“Searching for truth? How’s that job gone for you, overall?” (ask-idv-the-caretaker)

“Ah, that depends on the case you want me to know about. Though, since there's quite a lot, I'm afraid you should be more... Specific with your question.”

The young woman turned her head as she set her books down, finally done with her little side job. Granted, she would've been nicer, but she didn't knew how to react with such a person asking her a question after she has returned. Nevertheless, the surprise was welcoming.

“However, if you are interested in someone else's case such as Monroe's, I'm afraid I can't gleam too much information about him... Unless I am wrong, in which you may correct me on it.

It's been ages since I came back, after all... Goodness, this office has been left to dust when I had returned from my usual matches, hm...”

The girl coughed slightly before dusting some of her shelves, before glancing at the caretaker with a gentle and comforting smile.

“To be quite specific, though, the job has been quite fun in an author's perspective. Fiddling with different answers in cases, only to draw to a singular conclusion... It's intriguing, I would say, but also quite tedious.”

She paused and lowered her gaze, her eyes having a glint of knowledge behind the gentleness of her demeanor.

“But I'd say madness can cope with such... Tedious matters. Though, that's just by my taste.��

Mayhaps she has other things up on her sleeves...

@ask-idv-the-caretaker

[idv-thespians]

🌟 with Shiloh and Louise .u. (@askidv-seamstressandfencer) (hi fifi lemme bother u- ami)

[ yes Ami please bother me ]

Stargazing - 🌟

The night was rather quiet, aside from the occasional rustling of the leaves in the garden. The sky was clear, allowing small dots of light to twinkle in the dark.

It was nights like these that the actor felt a strange sense of worrying calm. So still, so silent. It was as if time momentarily stopped when he gazed up into such a sky.

As Shiloh looked up at the sky with one eye, he sighed to himself, folding his arms as he leaned against a pillar. Then he heard a click of the doorknob, which caught this attention. As he turned to the sound, he saw someone emerge, too small to be a hunter-

Oh? The fencer? Truly, it was a surprise to see her, of all the survivors.

"Oh, hi there. Nice to see you."

Shiloh gently smiled to her, expression somewhat relaxed. Stargazing was one of those times he didn't need to pretend, and so, his expression even looked lazy, somewhat.

"Nice to meet you, too."

The fencer's gentle, cold voice replied, as she walked over, her sword in one hand. Shiloh found a cold grace in her movements, and a confidence so great, the few times he had seen her in action, she had challenged the hunter directly.

He’d be lying if he were to say he wasn’t confused on why she was here so late in the night.

"So, miss Louise, what brings you here, so late in the night?"

The fencer turned to face Shiloh, and the actor saw the gears turn in her head, before she answered.

"Couldn't sleep. I should be asking the same to you."

Shiloh chuckled lightly, turning away from the other to look up in the sky. "Oh, I'm just watching the stars, is all."

Louise raised a brow, a perplexed expression on her face. "Oh? You didn't strike me as someone who enjoyed stargazing."

"Heh, then again, I am pretty good at pretending." Shiloh sighed gently, tapping his foot on the floor. Louise walked closer to the actor, allowing the gentle moonlight to shine on her.

Louise stared at the man by her side, the one exposed eye almost hazy, dreamy. Below it was a large scar, hidden by the mask he wore. It confused survivors, even someone usually indifferent like Louise. She unconsciously felt herself staring, before she heard a low chuckle break the calm of the night.

"Like what you see?"

Shiloh hadn't turned his head, but Louise could see the actor staring. He was even smiling, how did she not realise?

"Ah, it's nothing." the fencer replied bluntly, looking down.

The two looked up at the sky, not a word spoken, not a word needed. The serenity was more than enough for the two to enjoy themselves, though, the occasional question did pop out, most of the time they were in the garden was spent gazing at the stars.

@askidv-seamstressandfencer

[onisiondrama]

(Note: I’m not repeating stories he’s told before and just putting them in parenthesis. I have a lot more videos to go until I’m caught up so that would save me a lot of time. If he gives details I never heard from him before, I will type those.)

“The “Onision Documentary” Is Falling Apart?” Speaks, September 30, 2020 (deleted)

- Says he was recently told a commentator was going crazy after him without talking to him. [it’s Repzion] They decided not to participate in a documentary that is going with the narrative they were previously pushing. - He says that’s like if someone asked him to participate in a documentary about Shane to talk about his experiences with him and he says no. He says most of his videos about Shane went to charity. They raised over $500 on UhOhBro. It wasn’t for himself [hm it seems like you did it so you could compare yourself to people who make money off of videos to invalidate their motive and message but ok], it was just for charity. It’s awesome to spread awareness and also give to charity so your message is pure, clear, and honest. [see? this is the shit I was talking about.] - Says Hansen said he refused to do an interview with him because it was out of respect for an alleged victim. He asks why did Hansen show up to his house and push for it for so long? A lot of weirdness going on in their realm. Says the major shift happened when he came out with the full story. - There was a chick who was a long time hater and he sent her a video of a person admitting to sexual extortion. She didn’t reply. She just went silent after seeing the evidence. 

This tweet shows up on screen:

- Says it’s a huge cover up and no one is admitting they made a mistake. They set a fire for no reason. Every day he still has to heal the burns and they walk away scot-free. - If someone asked him to make a documentary about being sexually extorted he’d say yes because he’d love to talk about how Sarah sexually extorted him. That’s real. She raped them twice. She walked out with a suitcase and walked down the road and stood there. Kai called her and asked if she was ok because he heard she walked out after James dumped with her. - People don’t care he has a mature, competent, intelligent person with a literal bachelors is psychology as a witness to everything he went though. [Kai] - He feels like he’s surrounded by flat Earthers. They’re convinced the most crazy and creepy scenario is true. - (Tobuscus story, Kai told him to stay quiet story) - Viewers don’t have to pick a side, but you have to acknowledge reality. People promised you Onision would go to prison and there was something on a laptop. Turned out there wasn’t. They said there was a child involved, no. There’s an FBI investigation, no. They promised you justice would be served yet the true criminal is still out there. The person who admitted in a livestream she raped him. She said it was a joke, but she specifically stated she would only sign a contract that she wouldn’t speak ill of him if he was to sleep with her. She admitted to it on her own stream in her own state. When someone tells you who they are, believe them. She told you she sexually extorted them. If they say if you don’t sleep with you, they’ll ruin your life, that’s rape. [uh so here is the actual livestream he’s talking about. Blackmail talk starts at 19 minutes.] - People ask him why don’t you go to the police? Sarah went to the police and they did nothing. The police said on a livestream they’re having trouble finding actual victims. [That’s before they got in contact with anyone. They had her name spelled wrong on a report when they were trying to get in contact with her.] - He called the cops when people trespassed and the police asked them to leave. - Feelings aren’t always based in reality. - He only slept with Sarah because she was forcing him through fear. [Isn’t it weird that in January he was saying he originally slept with her because he felt bad that Kai rejected her so many times. 🤔] Kai said he couldn’t do it anymore and shortly after he said the same and broke up with her. - If he looks one way or touches his face people say he lied. People don’t want to admit it was over since the beginning. She admitted to being the criminal when she was pretending to be the victim Apparently it was a joke. It’s like if you go to a bank, rob them, take their money. walk out, and then you say it’s a joke. - He has trouble letting new people into his life because humans are selfish and dishonest. They couldn’t see the truth if it was screaming in their face. The bias and amount of delusion that you have to feel to not see this for what it is. If you google “Onision” you’ll see nothing but absurd nonsense. - The first person was hauled away by police. (Shiloh police story) - Second person admitted to doing illegal drugs. - Third person sold drugs and plotted to marry someone to get them a green card. He says that’s a federal crime. [Did you not say you married someone you didn’t love just so you could get military benefits? That seems shady to me. Especially since there’s evidence online of you telling that person you loved them over and over. Seems like you manipulated someone so you could take advantage of benefits provided by tax payers money. Sorry, I am in a mood today if you can’t tell. These videos are getting to me.] They admitted to raping two people. - There’s all these crimes and people only want to hear that he did something. He’s a former US Air Force cops. When he calls the police it’s consistently a calm rational experience. The internet is hysterical and irrational. They smeared his name all over the place and made him out to be something he’s not. - Shane screamed he’s not a pedo at the camera and people celebrated him. Bashurverse screamed and cried when he was accused. Says he (James) made countless videos, in depth, describing details. People feel sorry for Shane and Bashurverse, but he’s still Youtube’s #1 villain. - The meltdown videos were financial compensation because his Patreon went down and he needed a way to fill the gap. He successfully did it because they were all monetized. He was almost parodying Shane and Bashurverse’s real meltdowns with his fake meltdown videos. He asks if people feel intellectually threatened by his behavior because of his acting? [He pretends to have a quick meltdown to show off his acting.] - Leafy and Keem tweeted he should be an actor. He can’t be hired an actor if the online community is brainwashed. If someone wants to hire he, he says it should be a villainous role. If you ask who is the greatest online villain of all time, the search results don’t lie. - He promotes his Twitch and says he’s normal there. Says you can watch his meltdown videos on loop for entertainment.