#⸺ ＃ æ. ❯ keep.

[kyunyu3]

　　　　　　　　　KEEP CALM AND CARRY ON

[almostyours]

girl i am going to need you to tell me more about us being god

ok so.  if u tilt ur head just the slightest and squint a little,  u could say that we are gods.  our own gods,  since we are the ones who decide what’s best for us to the point that we limit ourselves.  but there’s always that part of us that will always want more,  or at least something better for us, and who knows what's going to be the push for us. 

the thing about the sillies is that they represent those primal principles within a human  (faith, hope, and love)  but they didn’t feel the urge to break free and push limits until anger  (the missing principle since,  to me,  anger is some sort of passion that could make anyone move)  drove them to stray from their initial purpose as god’s messengers.  so,  if u do squint and think about it,  “i” and the angels mirror us humans. 

we mirror “i” because we limit ourselves for our own good  /  selfish reasons.  we mirror the angels because they quite literally represent us.  it's up to u if u want to break free from ur only purpose  /  ur own loop,  so either ur a god,  an angel with a purpose only,  or an angel who knows their potential to become a god   ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[the-mirror-sunflower-owo]

Oops, I forget to post art so often aaaaah

I made this about a month ago.. And then forgot about its very existence

Made it for fun to get all the heights of this group of characters sorted out. It was funnn.

((Practically 98% of the characters belong to my dear @/justsixteen))

Thank ya for passing by again and have a nice day/night :3

[unrelaxing]

media list (08.01.2024 - 14.01.2024)

👂 Listened:

Albums:

Zach Bryan by Zach Bryan (2023) [5/10, recommended by a colleague. Didn't end up being my kind of music.]

AM by Arctic Monkeys (2013) [5/10, while I've always loved the two singles off this album, I found the listening to it as a whole felt a bit flat.]

Podcasts:

Tooth & Claw [I've enjoyed this podcast since last year. The three hosts include a wildlife biologist, his brother, and their friend who doubles as their producer. They talk about animal attacks, why they happen and how it can be prevented - and aim to do it without demonising the animals. Obviously content warning for death and major injuries.] Episodes: ⤷ The 1994 Vancouver Island Cougar Attack ⤷ The Zanesville Massacre ⤷ When Man Bites Back ⤷ Defying Death With The Help of a Sea Creature

Morbid [Another podcast I've been listening to since last year. It covers both true crime and some spooky content and is hosted by an aunt-niece team who grew up as sisters. Not always the most sensitive, though they take care to always direct the less respectful commentary to the perpetrators. Warning: Two first two episodes I've listed below are pretty frustrating in the 'privileged men get away with it way', so if you're feeling particularly raw at the moment, don't listen to those. ] Episodes: ⤷ EP 528: The Murders of Stan Farr and Andrea Wilborn ⤷ EP 527: The Murder of Mary Stannard ⤷ EP 520: Dudleytown: Connecticut's Cursed Ghost Town

Somebody Knows Something Ep. 1-4 [DROPPED, didn't enjoy how the podcast was set up or the way it was narrated.]

📖 Read:

Articles:

Why We Forget Most of The Books We Read by Julie Beck from The Atlantic. [Article about memory and media - enjoyed the section about about Socrates's dialogue about' how writing has made people less likely to remember things 'will create forgetfulness', even while it is writing that allows us to know about Socrates' work + how the internet age has meant it’s more important to remember where to access information (recognition memory) rather than what the information is (recall memory).]

Books:

Luck In The Shadows by Lynn Flewelling [in progress]

[raiiney-days]

i think earth is just one big fucked up dnd campaign. like, god is the sleep deprived dm who was trying to run a erious campaign but gave up bcs the players kept fucking around and doing stupid shit. and jesus and the archangels are the players who keep coming up with increasingly stupid ways to deal with shit.

[rainbowgod666]

Idk but thars most of my moots with me

Me and who

[gaogaigoatgrrl]

how do you pronounce "baeddel" anyway. "baddel"? "bay-del"? "bee-del"? something else? is it even "ae" or is it "æ"?

[the-aspen-grove]

Back in the sauce

[yeuc-c]

why did bive steal that batter in that alien store,,

(i keep forgetting the name of it(

Likely to extract the yeast in it that eats and replaces glass.

æ-73 is usually used by bive to break into buildings without destroying the window by herself.

The yeast completely replaces the form of the window and looks mostly identical, but any regular person can walk through it without it fracturing.

The yeast also has an incredibly sugary taste that is used as a cheaper alternative to gorpnab. It doesn't taste as good as gorpnab, but its fairly similar and has a small aftertaste which can only be described as sour.

[2-dsimp]

Popular choice

—> <Walk through the park>

—————————————

Current location: [The Park] approaching {Your Neighborhood}

—-//———————//———

You’ve decided to pick the path to the park and happened to discover Hidden Admirer! Tighnari

He seems to be occupied in your proximity with a shovel in hand. He has an unreadable expression on his face as he mutters something intelligible under his breath. He looks as if he’s hiding something

It’s been awhile since you’ve seen Tighnari as he’s reclusive and mainly spends his time in the inclusive forests. Though he always did make it a point to how much he’d enjoy your company…

【 Ð i Ď ŷ O u E v e Ř p Æ y h I m Ą V Į s I T ? 】

—-//——————//———-

I. Tutorial tip ‼️

Since this is your first encounter with said admirer should you have a successful interaction you may be able to discover his primary trait!

Also Keep in mind you’re defenseless with no kind of protection. Your only options for now are to run or hide from the perilous eyes that are set upon you within the dark of the night.

Caution is advised.

—-//———————//———

3rd objective: choose your approach

—-//———————//———

—> {Greet/Approach him}

—> (call out to him from a distance)

—> <Ignore him completely>

—> [Try going a different route [The hiking trails]

—-//——————//————

Votes end Friday midnight 🕛

—-//——————//————

Player inquiries ✨

A/n: did a minor change XD

[doodletrash]

What if Dev just like didn't have a mom

Like Dale just one day decided to make a test-tube baby as a "Development" to keep his business going.

Also I can't see Dale having a wife or a girlfriend or be in any sort of relationship (If Dev does have a mom I doubt he knows her)

Why is Dale kind of like Elon Musk when naming his kids like wdym ur sons name is Development? Wdym you named ur child X Æ A-XII?!

Rich people learn how to be normal when

I find it hilarious that Dev isn't allowed to drink lemonade just bcuz of his dad's trauma

[almostyours]

hello i have a question for you 👐 !! is hiraeth as a whole meant to represent fall / was it intentional ( whether by you or the company !! ) itd only be three members of the seasons and not four with like an angel of fall? ty !!!!!

i’m sooooooo happy you caught on to that because yes! hiraeth, as a whole, is meant to represent the season of autumn! :D autumn symbolizes both balance and harmony, which is something the seasonal angels obviously lacked as their personal struggles prevented them from “growing” out of their season. yvan’s ice was allowed to melt because of poppy’s warmth, and poppy was allowed to bloom because of kaia’s sun, and maybe kaia could have shined brighter now that her angels were by her side, but what happens next if they weren’t ready to accept themselves as a whole? for them, the autumn season is a literal gateway to a new side of themselves they've never encountered before, as autumn has never been represented to them. once they've come to accept themselves as their own person, they created the first full moon in their world. its glow will be their motivation to act beyond celestia and on their own terms because they are not just the angels of the season anymore. they are themselves. they are you. and it was not intentional for the company, but for me it was!!!! 🙈 basically, their former member nari was supposed to be part of the group, but after a big fight during kaia’s solo debut era between her and the members, she decided to leave both the project and the company. obviously, their creative director scrambled to fix the new loophole in their concept because they had no angel of autumn anymore! and they couldn’t just, you know, start all over! but they figured something out and it 100% makes sense! it’s like they didn’t even need nari or the angel of autumn at all. 🤭

[tiramisuucakeee]

1. BLACK MAMBA

IN WHICH: in a world where humans can synk with their æ, there is suddenly a huge synk out, and the real world can no longer communicate with the flat world for the longest time. what happens when you finally receive a synk message from æ-yn?

chapter one !

"l'existence précède l'essence" is a central motto of existentialism meaning that existence precedes essence. this means that man exists first, emerges in the world and then defines himself. this phrase inverts the traditional philosophical view that the essence of a thing is more fundamental than its existence.

æ is formed, based on all the data that you have uploaded and interacted everywhere, whether it’s pictures, music, websites, or videos. it is formed into something very much like yourself.

but just because it’s made of your data, doesn’t mean it’s you. though it comes incredibly close in your case. you have always thought about yourself as transparent. you are online how you are offline, hotheaded, to your own ideas.

though you had to admit that, you are never going to keep being that same y/n you are now, with time, people change. and what worried you, is that your æ wouldn’t.

“ningning?- ah!-” you tumbled to the ground, as she threw herself to you, a bit too excited, you had to say. she grabbed you by the shoulders, forcing you to sit correctly.

“are you crazy? bike race?!” she exclaimed.

your eyes widened when she pointed to the tv behind her, where the news of a girl racing police through the city on her motorcycle made the headlines, after escaping an illegal race.

“what, me? you think she looks like me?” you scoffed, pushing yourself off of the ground, helping your friend up.

ninging wore something that could describe her personality, artistic and expressive. the latter was something she did show off a lot.

“i do think so,” ningning crossed her arms, tapping her foot on the marble floor.

your arms dropped, as you dragged yourself next to the big screen, almost feeling proud about it. “see? her technique is all wrong, she looks too… rushed?”

“yes because you were escaping from the police, anyone would feel rushed,” she rose her brows at you, making it almost impossible to say something back.

“in my opinion,” you heard a voice behind you. completely forgetting your devices had familiarity with ningning electronics, from all the bluetooth connections in the past.

æ-yn floated on the screen, imitating your movements, as she got replaced on the video, and was now riding your bike. “she looks really cool, nothing like y/n,” she slid on your helmet.

“and you look really dumb now, just because you’re æ-yn, it doesn’t mean you can be as good as me with these things,” you replied back, pettily, making her gasp. ningning let out a laugh at your banter, finding funny how her relationship with æ-ninging was much different to yours.

“you two are a handful,” she sighed, and then remembered what she was doing. “oh! y/n, i need you to get some things for me to this one person who bought my art,” she ran off in some direction, her little boot-heels clicking on the floor.

you looked at your æ with a confused face, and she only shrugged. it was almost like you were the official errand girl, all because you had a quick ride.

“here, woah!” she came back with a handful of canvases, all of different sizes, almost tripping on air, but being able to catch herself.

“what if i say no,” you groaned, looking at your æ for some backup, but she only shrugged, and disappeared, leaving you with this problem.

“you can’t,” ningning poked her head from the side, her entire upper body being covered by paintings, “you already promised.” she sang.

“i did?” you scrunched your nose, “but what about the thing?”

“what thing?” ningning looked puzzled, blinking.

“the painting expo hacking thing,” you reminded her, as her face brightened up, “oh that thing! yeah i’m still doing it,” she smiled proudly, swaying from side to side.

“oh ningning,” you whined, finally understanding the misunderstanding, “i thought you invited me over to see that, not to help you deliver packages.” you dragged your words with laze.

“oh y/n,” she whined back, mocking you, “that’s too bad, you’re going to have to find out how it went on the news, just like i did with your bike race.” she winked, knowing she won the banter.

“but-” you were going to say, until she handed you all the canvases, making you stumble on your own footing, securing the paintings in your arms.

“now, æ-ningning will send the address to æ-yn for her to guide you, they’re all going to the same place,” ningning grabbed her phone, sending a synk message.

“okay…” you grumbled, “i’ll see you later, hopefully npt with another similar situation,” you started to head out of the studio, a bit disappointed for not getting to see ningning’s plan on the big screen.

she ran over, opening the door for you, and saying goodbye in a cheery tone, before letting you out.

going down the same stairs, you reached the lonely lobby, and stood outside in the street, thinking about how you were going to transport everything.

taking out a long rope from a compartment on your bike, you used it to tie all the canvases like a present tie, and then took two ends of the rope, tying it on your back. you made sure none would fall out or that the knots were lose before sitting down.

placing your helmet on, the sound of the system connecting ran through, a following voice. “are you sure that’s safe?”

“i’m alright,” you replied, placing your hands on your thighs, waiting for the map to connect.

“yeah i don’t care, i’m talking about the canvases,” æ-yn remarked, making you irk at her comment, “you know? sometimes you have to learn to keep your mouth shut, or your pixels, whatever,” you huffed, the helmet screen projecting a map.

“whatever you say,” she yawned, leaning on the edge of the screen, observing the road. “this is the fastest route, but be careful, it’s already very dark-”

“i can see that-”

“so, turn on your lights,” she smiled smugly, as you had forgotten to. “please.”

you did so, not without rolling your eyes, and went on your way to the place ningning had instructed you to.

it was a strangely secluded place out of the city, but it wasn’t far, you’ve heard about it. and now, visiting it at night, made you feel everything but safe.

the well-lit streets and nice buildings slowly turned into numerous alleys, and berated brick walls, a small rain had started, making the road a bit slippery too. you had to cover the canvases with your jacket to make sure they didn’t get ruined.

lamppost lights flickered over you, adding an eerie feel to the small voice in your head that told you to get out of here as soon as possible.

you were a few minutes away from your destination, no more than ten, when something strange happened, making you stop your bike.

the helmet got disconnected, the screen turning entirely black. you pressed the break on your motorcycle, coming to a complete stop in the middle of the lonely street.

“that’s strange,” you mumbled, taking off your helmet to inspect it, wanting for it to just be a small error, nothing grand.

your æ’s voice made the road seem less scary until now, that it shut off. for some reason it wouldn’t turn back on, so you had to restart the system.

the lights on your helmet soon slid through its accents, letting you know it was on. placing it over your head, you watched as the screen came to life, making you meet a white logo of the headwear company.

but then, it glitched, and then it glitched again, until the screen turned black, making you lose al hope in getting it back on.

“you’ve got to be kidding,” you sighed, looking down.

and in the middle of the screen, something else appeared. a logo similar to the æ, a snake slithering through the first letter.

that was the last you heard of your æ.

the news of a massive synk out soon were in everybody’s screens. people were all over the place, panicking, being scared. they didn’t know where their æ had gone, and nobody knew how it happened.

that night, the city had been blasting messages to the æ, and calling for anybody who had information about the synk out.

it felt incredibly alone. having someone by your side, that understood you, and had your back, and then not anymore, without a reason.

“-it has been five months since the phenomenon, called synk out. forcibly disconnected synk with æ’s across the city simultaneously-”

“move out of the way,” you interrupted the video playing on a girl’s phone in the audience. she jumped, turning quickly to face you, looking up at your face.

“i’m so sorry,” she apologized, recognizing your face.

five months. it was all it took you to become one of the best and fastest motorcycle racers. you had gone against countless of people, for now, no one had been able to beat you. and that’s how you wanted it to remain. you trusted your own instincts in these races, not looking for help from anyone.

“yeah, okay, so are you moving out of the way or?” you raised a brow at her, as she had been staring at you for a some seconds.

you pushed her out, and walked towards the road, seeing the bike parked at the starting line. getting on it, you were about to place your helmet on your head until a voice spoke.

“you know, you were just like that,” heeseung said, getting on his own bike, racing for the fun of it. he had already gone against you too many times to count, and even if it was hard always coming up in second place, the money of maintaining that place was worth it.

“what are you talking about?” you placed your helmet on your lap, looking at him with confusion on your face.

he rolled his eyes, pointing to your right. your eyes turned to look at the sight. the same girl which you had pushed out of the way, filming you, as she had a poster with your name on it.

your eyes slightly widened, and you sent a senseless nod, turning back to him, “what are you talking about?”

heeseung laughed at your words, as you had repeated the same question, but now with an entirely different tone and meaning. “i remember the day we met, a scaredy young girl, still in high school, who beamed away from home to come see her older brother race,” he started, making you feel a bit of nostalgia at the memory.

it was almost like it had been yesterday. when you snuck off to go cheer on your brother’s last race. he was leaving the city for university. you had always looked up to him, as he spent little time with you, making him that ‘cool mysterious older brother’.

you were so tiny in that small crowd of tall high schoolers and college students, looking for a familiar face. when you then bumped into a racer. he looked you in the eye, confused as to why a middle school girl was here, and in your point of view, he was going to beat you up, but you still admired how cool and awesome the rider looked, even attempting to take some pictures with him.

a boy and his friends ‘saved’ you, who now you know as heeseung, sunghoon and jake. the two last never raced, they only came to support heeseung, and occasionally you.

“i wasn’t obnoxious and annoying,” you retorted, sliding your helmet on, not wanting to hear more of it.

“were you not?” heeseung laughed, reaching over to punch you lightly, making you throw him a look he could feel, even if you had the visor covering your eyes.

your attention was back on the dim light street before you, as a familiar girl excitedly stood in the middle of it. ten motorcycles were standing in front of her menacingly, as they revved their engines.

she raced her hand in the air, and you leaned forward in anticipation, your chest almost touching the front of the bike. her hand fell, and quickly, all motorcycles zoomed past her at an incredibly fast pace, like ghosts.

you were behind two bikers, easily making your way past the others who were now behind you.

this was a familiar circuit, it was the last one you had used æ-yn’s help on, the last race she had completed with you. it almost felt like a duty to come first place on this race now. as if you owed it to her.

you were fast on the first two rounds, as you had come a few days ago to become more familiar with the streets and shortcuts. now, you were driving alongside heeseung, as he had the time to salute you mockingly, always having the time of his life on races.

it was a feeling hard to describe, you just had to experience it on your own, the rush on your muscles, your ragged breath, the heat of the engine near your legs, the vibrations of the motor under your fingertips, it was all human controlled.

this was all you.

at the last lap, you were head in head with another biker, as they tried to speed up past you, successfully doing so. you leaned forward once again, panting, as your bike cut through the air, taking up more velocity.

their bike clashed against your on the side, the adrenaline making it impossible to feel any pain, you couldn’t look anywhere but ahead of you now.

it was the closest call ever, but like always, you came in first.

you were in a bliss, it felt good winning, knowing nobody could be better at this than you. the crowd swarmed around you, some congratulating you and some others challenging you, thinking they would be the ones to beat you.

in the midst of it all, you looked to the side, seeing a familiar figure leaning on a wall, and when they noticed you, they immediately went to hide behind it.

you furrowed your brows, dismissing some people without paying attention to them, as you tried to cross the street with some difficultly, there was just so many people.

you managed to pry some of them off and get away, wanting to know what this was about. as you got to the alley, two hands grabbed your jacket, pulling you closer with great force.

your back collided with the wall, making you wince, and look up at the person. “ why are you here?! what is your problem karina?!” you said in anger.

karina wore her hair down, a big jacket over her, as she stepped back with an incredulous look, “what is my problem?! what is yours?! we haven’t heard from you in months, and now we find out you’re this hardcore illegal racer?”

“i don’t like the word hardcore,” you cringed, looking to the side, “and i don’t see why it has anything to do with you, the four of you know i’ve been doing this since forever,” you spoke back.

she shook her head, clearly distraught, “yeah, well, i didn’t think throwing your life away, ignoring your friends and family was that serious to you,” she pushed her finger with blame into your chest, “and i’ve told you, not to wear shorts while racing.”

you frowned and looked down at your legs, seeing a big portion of your skin bleeding, and scratched, bruised. probably from when you crashed with the other biker side to side.

“oh my god,” you swallowed, breathing heavily, feeling as if your legs were giving out. all the adrenaline and rush made you not feel the pain, but now it coursed through you incredibly hot, making your skin feel almost burning to the touch.

“karina i’m-”

“don’t say it,” she warned.

“i’m going to die,” you wailed. ever since you were a kid, you hated getting hurt, small scars from playing outside, cuts from cooking or bumping into someone. it made you feel sick.

you’ve never broken a bone, got stung by a bee nor stepped into glass. all the time you’ve been careful not to put yourself into small harms way, except for the fact that you quite literally sit in a bike and race and do crazy life-challenging stunts.

“okay, calm down,” karina sighed, going over to your side, and looping her arm around your shoulders, “my apartment is close, let’s get you fixed up,” she smiled.

inside, she was trying not to flinch at how much your wound must hurt, from the small look she took, karina could tell it was deep, and you were likely in extreme pain right now. so she wanted to act nice to make you feel a bit light headed, and not think about pain so much.

“no, wait-” you stopped on your tracks, “i’m not going to walk all the way over there,” you scoffed, feeling as if daggers were puncturing your leg repeatedly.

“i brought my car dumbass,” she laughed, helping you to walk.

“okay.” you breathed, “okay, okay. wait!” you stopped again, now making her groan in annoyance, “what now?”

“my motorcycle! call heeseung! tell him to take it with him,” you nodded, almost vulnerable, looking up at her with teary-red eyes.

“alright,” karina reassured you, holding you closer, “i’ll let him know once we get you to my car,” she continued saying warmly.

karina did in fact call him, and even turned on the speaker, letting heeseung call you very not-nice names because you got hurt on impulse.

the ride to her apartment was quick, not more than a couple of short minutes, but it was just enough for you to fall asleep, your body not wanting to be awake to feel the pain of the wound any longer, as your muscles had also grown tired from the race.

karina made the effort to carry you upstairs, trying not to get blood on her white jeans, and even almost waking you up and having you walk all the way up there by yourself, but she didn’t.

she much preferred having your blood on her white jeans.

months ago she would have woke you up, telling you how stupid and reckless you had acted, but now, she knew just how important these raced were for you, even if it was done in a non-normative way. she respected it, and was glad that something kept you going.

once she got to her apartment, she got the help of three others to clean you up, getting the dirty clothes off and fixing up your wound the best they could, reminding themselves to take you to the hospital as soon as they could tomorrow if you got bad.

your consciousness slowly started to get back later at night. your body was incredibly sore and tired, but too much preoccupations woke up your mind.

looking around, you noticed you were in karina’s living room, on her couch. trying to stand up, your leg instantly started burning, and you looked down to see it wrapped in a bandage, a bit of blood leaking through the white.

you had a big shirt on, with some rockets and spaceships printed on it, and a pair of cookie monster shorts on. aside from that, the tv was on, and you noticed four pair of shoes by the doorway.

“fuck no…” you whispered, knowing exactly who was in the apartment with you right now.

you had a feeling it was past midnight and they were asleep, as no noises coursed the apartment apart from your heavy breathing, so it was okay to assume you were safe to go get water.

slowly walking in your heels, you made your way to the kitchen, trying to feel around for the cups cabinet, and as if luck had completely vanished from your side, you dropped a handful of things that came tumbling down to the ground, making a loud continuous noise of metal clashing against each other.

“of course,” you grumbled, soon hearing a light turn on from a bedroom, as someone came out from it.

you dropped to the floor, hiding behind the kitchen isle, as winter came closer to the kitchen, looking around confusedly, not being able to spot what had made the noise.

cursing to yourself for the inconvenient hiding spot, your leg started to hurt even more. it was too much pain to tolerate. so you had to stand up abruptly, scaring the girl standing right on the other side of the kitchen isle.

“ahhhhh!” winter swung at you with her hand, but you stopped her, grabbing her wrist, “stop! it’s me!”

winter blinked, and stepped back, looking at the living room, where your previous resting spot was left alone, “oh, you’re up,” she spoke calmly, her heart beating quickly from the scare.

“yeah i’m up,” you turned around, now having enough illumination to be able to get a cup of water, and pick up everything you dropped.

“you’re not really quiet,” winter giggled, dragging out a chair from underneath the counter, jumping on it, “but again, you’ve always been rowdy.” she pouted.

“uh huh,” you replied back, not really interested, not wanting to face her, nor the rest any time soon.

you turned on the tap, watching as the water infuriatingly slowly filled the cup. your finger tapped against the side of it, as if to hurry it up.

“oh hey,” winter spoke, her voice tired, as you heard another pair of footsteps come into the kitchen.

“winter? y/n? why are you two up?” ningning yawned, and then remembered, “wait, y/n, what about your-”

“yes, it hurts,” you turned off the tap, and turned to them. both looked a bit different. ningning’s hair lighter, and winter had cute it shorter, also making it darker, like chocolate.

“then why are you up?” ningning shook her head, a few pieces of hair falling down to her face. you raised your water, that being your answer.

that was always your answer. absolutely nothing.

for months they have been trying to get closer to you. the day ningning sent you out to deliver the canvases, was the last they saw of that y/n. in essence you were still her, but you had changed, as people do with time.

with no æ around, you were just you. no y/n and æ-yn, anymore at least. and with all your winnings, you felt as if it was for the better, the synk out. it wasn’t that you had thought of getting rid of your æ. that though never even once crossed your mind, but it was nice not relying on her, but relying on the actual you.



MASTERLIST.

ALL CHAPTERS.

NEXT CHATER.

PREVIOUS CHAPTER.

[unrelaxing]

Back on Liam Payne's death, but not in the mourning way.

I've been thinking about how Liam's death has coloured people's perception of the potentially terrible things he's done in life, and comparing it to another, similar situation - Caroline Flack's suicide.

Caroline Flack died four years ago after a highly publicised alleged domestic violence incident, wherein she hit her partner with a phone while he was asleep. While this news was making the rounds, her past relationship with seventeen year old Harry Styles when she was thirty-one was also being brought up. The upcoming trial and the media circus proved too much for a Caroline who had already been struggling mentally, and she killed herself.

In comparison, we have Liam Payne, who was being accused of abuse by his ex-fiance, and for taking advantage of fans. His ex-fiance's age - 18 when they started dating - also became the subject of scrutiny. Possibly due to these events and other factors, Liam was dropped by both his label and PR before his death.

When Caroline died, I didn't preface any expression of regret about her passing with caveats about what kind of person she might have been when she was alive. I don't remember where my mind was at the time. Whether her boyfriend also mourning her had me believing that she didn't actually hit him, and it was all a smear campaign. Did I put aside my discomfort about their age difference because Harry and his family obviously still held affection for her? Did her womanhood blind me to things that I never would have overlooked had she been a man?

All I know is that faced with such a similar situation four years later, I can't help but realise how different my reaction is. As a result, I've been confronted with the double standards of my own philosophy towards the death of a more-than-imperfect individual.

Do I believe in fully mourning a person when they pass, without acknowledgement of any terrible things they might have done? Or do I acknowledge the hurt those people have caused?

It's a difficult question to answer because I can't imagine myself doing so at a person's funeral. If I knew a man who had cheated on his wife, I wouldn't bring it up at his funeral. If I knew a man who had abused children, I would just not be at his funeral, and would therefore never feel the need to think about whether to say anything at all.

When it comes to celebrities or people who have had a huge influence on your life who you later find out were not good people... a part of me feels like maybe it was a mistake to write anything about Liam's passing - there are so many celebrity deaths I don't acknowledge - why did I have to say anything about Liam's death just because I was a One Direction fan once upon a time?

I do know that I feel a growing discomfort as the mourning crescendos, and the tentative posts about his death that still acknowledged his flaws give way to posts that are angry at anyone who would even dare consider him as less than a perfect angel destroyed by the industry.

[vixx-network]

At the edge of the world, where there's nothing to lean back on, a tree whispered to me. "Just keep living on. That's more than enough."

"애일(愛日)[æ il]", Hyuk (2024)

[bloodlesscecropia]

Døes there hæve tø be øne?? Yøu’re æctive, yøu shøw up øn my dæsh. Yøu hæve funny things tø sæy. Thæt’s it, reælly.

_Seemms someone's trying to challenge Abjurer for the wworst quirk title_