#this is me kinda needing to write this down to come to terms w it
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Back on Liam Payne's death, but not in the mourning way.
I've been thinking about how Liam's death has coloured people's perception of the potentially terrible things he's done in life, and comparing it to another, similar situation - Caroline Flack's suicide.
Caroline Flack died four years ago after a highly publicised alleged domestic violence incident, wherein she hit her partner with a phone while he was asleep. While this news was making the rounds, her past relationship with seventeen year old Harry Styles when she was thirty-one was also being brought up. The upcoming trial and the media circus proved too much for a Caroline who had already been struggling mentally, and she killed herself.
In comparison, we have Liam Payne, who was being accused of abuse by his ex-fiance, and for taking advantage of fans. His ex-fiance's age - 18 when they started dating - also became the subject of scrutiny. Possibly due to these events and other factors, Liam was dropped by both his label and PR before his death.
When Caroline died, I didn't preface any expression of regret about her passing with caveats about what kind of person she might have been when she was alive. I don't remember where my mind was at the time. Whether her boyfriend also mourning her had me believing that she didn't actually hit him, and it was all a smear campaign. Did I put aside my discomfort about their age difference because Harry and his family obviously still held affection for her? Did her womanhood blind me to things that I never would have overlooked had she been a man?
All I know is that faced with such a similar situation four years later, I can't help but realise how different my reaction is. As a result, I've been confronted with the double standards of my own philosophy towards the death of a more-than-imperfect individual.
Do I believe in fully mourning a person when they pass, without acknowledgement of any terrible things they might have done? Or do I acknowledge the hurt those people have caused?
It's a difficult question to answer because I can't imagine myself doing so at a person's funeral. If I knew a man who had cheated on his wife, I wouldn't bring it up at his funeral. If I knew a man who had abused children, I would just not be at his funeral, and would therefore never feel the need to think about whether to say anything at all.
When it comes to celebrities or people who have had a huge influence on your life who you later find out were not good people... a part of me feels like maybe it was a mistake to write anything about Liam's passing - there are so many celebrity deaths I don't acknowledge - why did I have to say anything about Liam's death just because I was a One Direction fan once upon a time?
I do know that I feel a growing discomfort as the mourning crescendos, and the tentative posts about his death that still acknowledged his flaws give way to posts that are angry at anyone who would even dare consider him as less than a perfect angel destroyed by the industry.
#.txt#i feel like this is a post i needed to write because ive been thinking a LOT about this#and honestly this is not all my thoughts#theres really a lot more here about this feeling i have#that i let caroline's gender impact how i viewed her for a long time#and that i dont think id have gotten to my 20s feeling similarly about a man#thats something i have to keep in mind and grow from#this is me kinda needing to write this down to come to terms w it#in a journal way#not a meta way#but also me kind of needing to be frustrated about this feeling i have that ppl are editing liam#to be a more palatable mourning
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satosugu x reader smut ?! college au (like ur SCRUMPTIOUS nanami fic!!)
also, are there any genres (or kinks / fetishes) u are uncomfortable with? aside from the obvious weird ones...
💞
Suck and Blow
Tags: Satosugu x Reader, college au, nsfw, mdni, mmf, switch sub leaning Satoru and switch dom leaning Suguru, can’t express this enough they FUCK.
Synopsis: While playing a good old college game of suck and blow, you’ve seemingly captured the attention of both Satoru and Suguru
An: Hmm, aside from the grotesque ones (age play, race play, piss/scat kink, etc.), i don’t think i have any hard boundaries. i try to be pretty flexible with my writing. i think one thing i would probably not be motivated to write would be ass play in a heterosexual relationship. nothing wrong w it! just not my cup of tea, and i’d find it hard to write. So sorry, this was kinda rushed near the end, but I needed to get it out before monstertober. Hope you enjoy!
"Hey Satoru?" Suguru's soothing voice cooed to his long-term boyfriend. Well, basically his boyfriend. They never officially put a term on their relationship, but fucking each other raw on a nightly basis is basically being boyfriends right? If you were to ask Satoru, he'd say Suguru is his husband, and they're basically married by common law.
Satoru was lounging in a recliner in the common area of the frat house. He was pressing buttons on a small handheld gaming device as he concentrated on it. "Yeah?" He responded.
"Can I talk to you about something?" Suguru asked as he walked into common area. He crossed his arms over his chest as he looked down at the white-haired male.
"Oh, you're serious." Satoru mused as he looked up at the brunette. He quickly shut off the gaming device and tossed it to the side. "C'mere." He hummed as he patted his lap for Suguru to sit down.
Geto's lips curled into a smile, and he rolled his eyes at Satoru's request. "What?" Satoru asks with a small pout as he looked up at the brunette.
Suguru takes a seat on the couch, and his hands pat on his lap. "You c'mere." He mocks. Satoru's pout immediately melts, and he hops up out of the recliner.
"You don't have to tell me twice." He hums with a smile as he sits at on his boyfriend's lap, wrapping his legs around the larger one's waist. "What is it, Sugu?"
"I was wondering about something." Geto says calmly as his fingers come up and gently card through Satoru's fluffy hair. His boyfriend leans into his touch like a needy kitten.
"Go on. You're like edging me here." Satoru laughs as he flutters his eyes shut. His long white eyelashes batting closed.
"You normally like it." Suguru smugly comments, earning a pinch from Satoru. "Okay, okay... I was just wondering... Have you thought about fucking a girl?"
Satoru's eyes immediately open as he furrows his eyebrows in utter shock and confusion. He did not know that was where Geto was going with this.
"What...? Are you saying you're straight because you take an awfully large amount of dick to be str-"
"That's not what I'm saying you idiot. I was wondering if you ever just... thought about fucking a girl? It's okay if not."
The white-haired male pondered his boyfriend's question for a minute. Had Satoru thought about it? Sure. He was a man who would really fuck whatever gender as long as he thought they were attractive and if they had a good enough personality. Is that something he should tell his boyfriend though?
"Is this a trick question? Are you going to be mad if I say yes?" He reluctantly asks, still unsure of what Geto was trying to get at here.
"I'm not going to be mad, Satoru. I asked for a reason, just please answer." Suguru reassures as he continued to play with his boyfriend's hair.
"I mean... yeah, I've thought about it, but I would never do that to you."
"Have you thought about.. fucking a girl with me?"
It was straight up embarrassing how fast Satoru got hard at the thought.
"No, I haven't... but now that you mention it, I don't think I'll ever be able to get that thought out of my head."
"I think we should do it." Suguru casually mentions as he looks into his boyfriend's eyes. "I think it'd be fun."
"How do we find someone to do that with though? I don't think I want it to be just anybody, but I don't want any of our friends to see us like that either."
*** *** ***
The frat house was filled with people. Alcoholic beverages were at every turn. A group of misfits in the corner were packing a bowl. The guys had pushes all of the common room furniture to the walls, making an open space in the living room.
Satoru was sat on the floor between Suguru's legs. The brunette was sharing a cigarette with Shoko as he lazily petted Satoru's head. The white-haired male was looking through the crowd. He was on a mission tonight.
Ever since Suguru brought up sharing a girl between them, Satoru hadn't been able to shake the thought out of his mind. All of it sounded so exciting to him, being able to have the best of both worlds? He felt like a horny teenager all over again. When Geto wasn't tending to him, he was jerking off to the sheer thought of sharing a girl with him.
Suguru was much more tamed in his desires, though he still thought about it often. He had a wet dream of him and Satoru sharing a girl one night, and that was what started this entire mess. He had never woken up to a pool of pre-cum like he did that morning after the dream.
"So anyways, that's why I want to die." Shoko finishes up her story of why she has the worst roommate ever. Geto was halfway listening, but he was mostly just bumming cigarettes of Shoko. He didn't get to smoke often, since Satoru always whined about the taste, but he indulged during parties.
As he nodded and took another drag, a figure caught his eye. He looked over towards the sea of people in the kitchen, and he saw you quietly socializing with a group of people.
You were breathtaking, and you absolutely did not go to their college.
"Shoko, who's that?" Suguru asks calmly before nodding his head towards you.
"Oh, I think that's one of Ino's friends." She answers as she sits up. "I think Ino mentioned that she recently just transferred here."
"How is Ino friends with her?" Geto immediately asks as his face twists in confusion. Ino wasn't necessarily a bad guy: looks or personality wise, but he just couldn't see a girl like you hanging out with a guy like Ino.
"Beats me." Shoko shrugs uninterestingly as she leans her head back against the couch.
Suguru gently nudged his boyfriend as he was still sat between his legs. "Look towards the kitchen." He murmurs softly.
Satoru immediately glances over towards the kitchen, making his gaze seem casual. However, once his eyes lock onto you, he immediately knows why Suguru told him to look in the kitchen.
"Her." Satoru decides. "We could share her."
*** *** ***
Why would Ino invite you to a party then not show up? Now, you're stuck awkwardly talking with his other friends about shit you don't even care about.
Transferring to a new college right at the cutoff date was the worst idea you've had in all your life. For one, you were dreadfully behind in all your classes. For two, you had no idea who anyone was besides Ino. For three, all of the good dorms had been taken, so you were stuck living in the shitty one with a leak.
Honestly, coming to this party was the second worst idea. You should be in your leaky dorm catching up on the mountain of homework piled up. You only showed up to this damn party because Ino invited you, trying to be a good friend and introduce you to people.
You set down the alcoholic beverage you had been sipping on casually for the last hour, and you decide that you're going to just go home and pretend like this didn't happen.
As you reach towards the door, you notice a tall figure step in front of you. He leans his arm above the doorframe, and he looks down at you.
"Leaving so soon?" The white-haired male spoke in a pouty tone, but he had a smirk on his face.
"Oh- um, yeah... I have homework to do." You answer awkwardly as you stare up at him. His bright blue eyes were pretty but almost eerily so. It was giving uncanny.
"It can wait just a couple more hours, can't it? The party's only just begun." He coerces as his hand slowly drops from the top of the door frame down towards you. "I'm Satoru by the way. I don't recognize you."
"I just transferred here." You quietly admit as you take his hand and tell him your name.
"This late in the semester? Sounds pretty foolish to go through all the trouble."
"You're telling me." You respond as you look towards the door again. You really should go back to your dorm and catch up with homework.
"Satoru, you're crowding her." A calm voice spoke as he approached as well. He had long dark hair and a kind, trusting smile. He was also just as tall as Satoru. "I'm sorry about him. He gets a bit excited." The calmer male explained as he placed a hand on Satoru's shoulder.
"He's alright.. I was just leaving anyways..." You respond as you move toward the door. The dark haired male gently grabbed your wrist.
"Hey- I think I recognize you from somewhere." He says as he slightly leans in as if he's inspecting your face.
"No Suguru, you got it wrong. She's a transfer." Satoru says as he also leans in with Suguru, propping himself up on the dark-haired male's shoulder. They were both leaning in closely to your personal space.
"A transfer, hm? I'm sure that's not been easy. You deserve to let loose a little." The other responds, saying all the right things to convince you to stay. "Let me get you a drink, yeah? We should be good hosts, Satoru." He says as he walks off to the kitchen, leaving you and the other behind.
"Where'd you transfer from, sweets?" Satoru asks as he subtly leads you away from the door.
"Oh, just a nearby community college." You respond as you see Geto walking back towards you two with a red solo cup in his hands. Now, you've heard all the horror stories of what can happen to vulnerable college girls at frat parties. "I don't drink, sorry." You politely decline with a smile.
"Hm? I saw you drinking earlier." Suguru says as he tilts his head to the side slightly in confusion. Shit. Busted.
"Oh sorry, what I meant to say was I don't drink drinks that are made by men."
A look of sudden understanding crosses Suguru's face. He then looks down at the drink, and he takes a huge gulp of it first. "Satoru, take a drink." He hands the cup over to the other male, and he also takes a drink out of it. "I'm sorry. The thought never crossed my mind."
Satoru hands the now almost empty cup to you, and you can't help but laugh softly. These two dorks really just almost drunk the entire drink to prove to you that nothing was in it. "Oh, what the hell." You shrug as you take the last gulp of the drink. "Thanks."
"Of course, angel." Suguru smiles in your direction.
"Ooo, do you know what we should play with our new friend?" Satoru asks with a cheeky grin as he wiggles his eyebrows up at Suguru.
*** *** ***
Before you know it, a group of people are sat in a circle around in the common area, and there's a playing card in the center. Suck or blow is a game where the players pass around a playing card using only their lips via sucking or blowing. If the card is dropped between two people, they must kiss. To heighten the fun, after the card is dropped, it is cut in half, making it harder to keep the card up on the players' lips.
"Okay, but this isn't fair. Satoru and Suguru shouldn't be allowed to sit next to each other because they're just gonna kiss every chance they get." Someone in the circle mentions as they roll their eyes.
It just now occurs to you that the two men who convinced you to stay are lovers.
"You're so right. C'mere, sweets, so we don't ruin the game for everyone else." Satoru grins as he scoots over to the side, making room for you between him and Geto. Your eyes widen slightly from his proposition as you had a weird feeling about this game.
You slowly crawl between Satoru and Suguru. They're both big men sat with their legs crossed, so their legs are just casually rubbing against yours. No matter how much you try to scrunch up you're own body, they seems to press right against you.
Your eyes follow the playing card around the circle as people are giggling and taunting each other. Faces are red, there's awkward moments of tension, and a pair of people actually end up accidentally dropping the card.
It actually seems like a pretty lighthearted game. The card is cut in half, and the game resumes. Your heart starts to thump in your chest a bit harder as the card is making it's way closer and closer to you. With the way the rotation is going, you'll have to receive the card from Satoru and pass it off to Suguru.
Seems easy enough.
Satoru leans in to some guy that's sat beside him, and they both nearly laugh. Luckily, Satoru is able to obtain the card from the guy, lightly sucking in so the card stays flush against his lips.
He turns towards you, and his eyes lock with yours. For a moment, you swear you're able to see a devilish look in his eyes before he tilts his head up and blows the card away from his lips. "Oops. I dropped it." He feigns innocence with a smirk. "What can you do?"
You feel yourself lean back slightly. Surely, this wasn't fair. It's not that you didn't want to kiss Satoru. Let's just be honest, who doesn't? But you certainly didn't want to kiss him in front of his boyfriend.
"What are you runnin' from, angel? Satoru doesn't bite too hard." Suguru encourages you as he gently nudges you forward. Your face immediately flushes, and you barely have any time to respond before Satoru cups your cheeks and pulls you into the steamiest kiss you've ever received.
This was not like the kiss those other two people shared. This was deep, intimate, and totally inappropriate. Satoru scooted off of his bottom and onto his knees as he leaned more into you, bullying his way into your mouth by biting your lower lip.
A small muffled whimper escapes your mouth as you’re almost unable to breathe. Your hands push against his shoulders, and he groans as he’s forced to separate from you.
His face is slightly flushed, and his breath is short pants. His bright blue eyes were half-lidded as he leaned back to his spot with a smirk.
Your face is also completely flushed with embarrassment. Reluctantly looking around the room, the people are giggling and whispering about you. Some of them look towards Geto waiting for his reaction. Your heart starts to thump harshly in your chest.
You place your hands behind you on the floor to get up. This is too much. What kind of kiss was that anyways? Why would he embarrass you in front of everyone?
Before you’re able to get up from your spot, Suguru wraps his hand around your wrist, and he holds you back towards him.
“Now, now, angel.” He clicks his tongue disapprovingly, and you feel your heart drop to your stomach. Thinking Suguru is about to rip you a new one for kissing his boyfriend like that, you immediately start to apologize. “What you apologizing for, hm?” He asks as he leans in dangerously close to you. “I was just going to say that if Satoru gets a taste, then so do I.”
What kind of sick prank was this?
His dark eyes flicker down to your lips, and his other hand brushes your hair away from your face before he leans in and presses a softer - more sensual kiss. His lips are smooth and delicate; the complete opposite from Satoru’s.
You feel like you’re about to explode from embarrassment, so you pull away with a whiny huff. The brunette merely chuckles are your reaction. “I could still taste him on you.” He murmurs into your ear, making your heart skip a beat.
Your palms find your face as you’re literally trying to hide from the situation. Not that you can see, but the two men were literally just grinning at you, pleased with the mess they caused.
“Alright. That was fun.” Satoru announced, denoting the end of the game.
“Maybe for you.” A guy retorted with a halfway-annoyed laugh. You could hear people shuffling around, leaving the circle they were all sat in.
Slowly, your hands leave your face, and you see most people have went back to hanging out in their own social groups; however, Satoru and Suguru stuck by your side.
“Well, it seems she’ll share a kiss with both of us. I wonder what else she might do with both of us.” Suguru mused as he propped his head up with his hand. His elbow sat on his knee as he gazed at both you and Satoru with an enamored expression.
“I- We were playing a game!” You quickly go to defend your case, but Satoru is right there to also taunt you.
“Oh, so you’d only kiss one of us if we weren’t playing a game?” Satoru asks as he also leans into you, fluttering his long white eyelashes. “Sweets, if you wanted it to be just you and I, I could tell Suguru here to give us some space.”
“What-? No, that’s not what I…”
“So, you were open to kissing both of us.” Suguru cuts you off, not letting you refute or argue.
Your face is bright red as you feel your head spinning. Both of the men were matching each other’s energy, applying pressure to you. Their dominant personalities were making it hard for you to even get a word out.
“Please- stop.” You whisper quietly as you look down at your lap, practically folding in on yourself like a hermit crab who senses danger.
Suguru shoots Satoru a quick glance, and they seem to have a silent conversation between the two of them. The brunette is the first to speak up, gently placing his hand on your shoulder.
“Hey- it’s okay. We were just teasing.” He reassures you softly as he bends his head down to try to look in your eyes to show that he’s sincere.
Satoru gently tucks a strand of hair behind your ear. “We’re sorry, sweets. We didn’t mean to overwhelm you.”
“You’re not mad at me..?” You quietly ask the two of them as they’re both doting on you with physical affection to soothe your anxiety.
“Why would we be mad, angel?” Suguru asks softly. His hand is gently rubbing on your shoulder, lightly massaging you.
“Yeah, we kissed you. Why would we be mad?” Satoru pitches in as he carefully cards his fingers through your hair.
Your heart continues to flutter a bit. Having both men tend to you emotionally and physically was rather appealing.
“I kissed you two back, and you two are…” Your voice trails off as you don’t know what type of label to place on their relationship.
“Ohhh, she’s worried about us being jealous, Sugu.” Satoru grins as his hand pats the top of your head.
“Poor thing. Allow me to let you in on a little secret.” Suguru dips his head closer to your ear, and he drops his voice to a low whisper. “Neither of us care as long as we both get to have you.”
You must’ve misheard him. Is he really just openly offering a threesome between you, him, and Satoru?
“I don’t understand…” You quietly murmur, not daring to make eye contact with either of them right now.
“Yes, you do.” Satoru interjects as he sits up a little. His hand grabs your chin and forces you to look up at him. Bright blue eyes stare into your very essence. “I think we’ve made our intentions pretty clear here, sweets. We both want you. So, you can either follow us up to the bedroom, or we can all pretend this didn’t happen, and you can go back to your dorm and play with yourself to the thought of us.”
You’re sure that if these boys keep it up, you’ll have a heart attack at some point. Your breath hitches in your throat as you try to comprehend how Satoru could be so bold. You’re truly lucky that Suguru is there to balance him out.
“You don’t have to decide right now, angel. Satoru is a bit too impatient for his own good.” Suguru speaks lowly as his hand gently caresses your back. “You can make your mind up whenever you’d like. We just want to be clear in our intentions.”
“That you want to sleep with me?” You ask as your eyes dart over to Geto.
“You make it sound so bad, love.” Suguru responds as his eyes look over your face. “It’s not just sleeping with you. It’s making you feel good. It’s sharing you between us and watching you deteriorate into that little shy mess that you let us get a glimpse of earlier.”
Satoru pinches your cheek as he still has your face cupped. “It’s about seeing how much you can take and which one of us will fold first and fill you up.”
You press your thighs together as you feel your heartbeat in your cunt. How did they make sex sound so appealing? Not that you didn’t like sex, but you never had it described to you like that.
“You like what he’s saying, angel?” Suguru muses as he leans in close to your ear. His nose brushes against your hair gently, and his warm breath ghosts your skin. “It’s okay. You want us both to fill you up. We can give you that.” His voice is so soothing as if he’s speaking a lullaby to you. His large hands trails to your inner thigh. “You just gotta give us the word, love. We’ll give you a night you’ll never forget.”
*** *** ***
So, that’s how you ended up in Satoru’s massive bedroom upstairs while the party continued on upstairs.
Suguru’s lips were on yours, practically making love to your mouth as he ran his hand through your hair. The back of your knees hit Satoru’s king sized bed as the brunette was gently coaxing you there by taking small steps forward.
His boyfriend was watching the two of you with big eyes. His hand was absentmindedly palming himself through his jeans as he admired the way you submitted to Suguru so willingly.
“Sugu…” Satoru nearly whines. If it was just the two of them in the room alone, he would be already pouting, but he has a dominant role to uphold.
The brunette gently parts from the kiss leaving you a panting mess to look over at his cute boyfriend, eagerly palming himself like an animal who couldn’t help themselves. “Such an only child.” He remarks with a smirk. “Never learned how to share properly.”
“I want to kiss her too.” Satoru huffs as he approaches the two of you. Your eyes are glued on Satoru almost out of fear. Despite how whiny he could get, he was definitely the more rougher direct one.
“Be my guest, Toru.” Suguru hums as he gently nudges you onto the bed to where your bottom is on the edge. “I wanna kiss somewhere else anyways.” His fingers hook into the waistband of your pants, and he tugs them off of you.
Satoru moves his upper body on top of yours while staying out of Suguru’s way. He’s slightly jealous that Geto is getting to taste you first, but he’s sure that he’ll get to feel you wrapped around him first. His hands pin yours above your head, and you squirm a bit, testing his grip.
“Think you can get away, sweets? Go ahead and try.” Satoru smirks as he doesn’t even have to try to hold you down. You’re no match for him, especially considering he’s a pro at contact sports.
Your squirming intensifies as Suguru’s fingers gently brush against your damp panties. “She already made a mess for us.” He muses to Satoru.
“What a slut.” The white-haired male grins before he finally gets what he came here for: a kiss. His lips devour yours in another steamy kiss as Geto starts rubbing small light circles against your clit with his thumb.
You’re completely at the mercy. Your body squirms around from the stimulation, but neither of the boys relent. Before you all went upstairs, Suguru made it clear that you had a safe word: crepe. If you uttered that word, both of them would completely stop whatever they were doing. Until then, you were fair game no matter how much you whimpered or squirmed.
The thought of it makes you try to press your thighs together as your cunt clenches around nothing, but Suguru forces your thighs apart. “Don’t hide your pretty cunt from me, angel. I don’t want to have to tie you down.”
Chills go up your spine from the thought, and you reluctantly stop trying to close your legs.
Satoru kisses bruisingly hard, gulping down each of your breaths and using your whimpers as a way to slip his tongue past your lips. His hand is still holding down both of your hands while his other starts to grope your breast.
Suguru presses chaste kisses to your core through your panties while still rubbing you. He hums with contentment as he watches your hips rise from the bed searching for more. He decides to indulge you for now, slowly sliding your panties down your legs.
“So pretty.” He murmurs as he gazes at your soaking wet cunt. His eyelids flutter shut before he leans in and ever so gently laps at your cunt, causing you to squeal into Satoru’s mouth.
The white-haired male finally relents in his kisses to gaze down at his boyfriend while he was leisurely indulging in your cunt like it was a gourmet meal. He bites back a moan as his dick is painfully hard, straining against his jeans. It’s nearly enough to make his head spin. He needs release — like now.
He unbuttons his pants before shrugging him off of him quickly. His cock has already leaked a small wet spot into his boxer briefs.
You’re too consumed with Geto’s tongue that you don’t even notice Satoru’s cock until he straddles your shoulders. Your eyes widen while looking at his size. His cock quite literally casts a shadow over your face with its massive size. His tip is an angry red color from neglect, and a bead of pre-cum sits upon the small slit.
“Oh sweets, you flatter me.” Satoru grins as he takes note of your facial expressions. The palm of his hand then gently pushes your forehead back, and he drags his length across your lips, smearing his pre-cum against your pretty mouth.
Satoru enjoys just gently rubbing his cock across your face as you give him pitiful glances and small whimpers. You try to take him into your mouth, but he won’t let you. He’s enjoying toying with you too much.
Meanwhile, Suguru is completely lost between your thighs. His jaw is almost sore from making out with your sloppy cunt, and that’s saying a lot considering he’s use to sucking dick. No matter, he continues alternating lapping at you and tongue-fucking your tight entrance. Each time his tongue thrusts inwards, he can’t help but think about how good you’re going to feel wrapped around his dick later.
Your hips try to shimmy away from him, and he takes it as a sign that you’re close. His hands grip onto your hips, preventing your escape, and his mouth then focuses strictly on your clit as he gently suckles on the small bundle of nerves.
Your mouth falls open as you gasp, and Satoru takes his chance to fill your mouth while you’re off guard. His cock immediately stuffs your mouth, muffling all of your sweet noises. Your eyes squint closed as you struggle not to immediately gag around him.
“Oh, come on. I know you can do better than that, sweets.” He taunts as he looks down at your poor struggling face. “You’re not even taking half of me.”
Your spit accumulates on his cock as he sits still for a moment, giving you just a mere second to prepare yourself. Then, he starts to rock his hips back and forth, fucking your pretty mouth while he holds you still.
“Look at me.” He demands with a small grunt.
Your eyes flutter open obediently to look up at him while he uses your throat to his heart’s content. Tears brim in your eyes, threatening to spill. Cute.
For a moment, your entire body tenses up as you gush juices against Geto’s face and chin. Your eyes slip shut as it’s almost too much to handle. The brunette continues to drink you down as if you didn’t just cum.
Satoru’s hips continue to forcefully push himself deeper into your mouth. He hates that Suguru is getting all the attention!! He gets to kiss you first He gets to taste you first. Now, he’s getting to make you cum first!
Taking his frustrations out on your poor throat, Satoru doesn’t even realize that his orgasm is rapidly approaching him until it’s almost too late. “F-fuck.” He grunts as he presses your head down harder. His tip grazes the back of your throat, causing you to gag around him. The tears slip past your cheeks.
“Yeah, gag around me, slut. That’s what you get for letting him make you cum first.” He moans as his hips stutter. He then shoves himself as deep as your throat will around, and his cock pulses between your lips as he empties himself deep in your throat.
Your cry muffles around his length as he stays seated in the back of your throat until he’s a sensitive mess. Your hand quickly comes up and hits the side of his thigh with a small whine.
With a small chuckle, he slowly gets up off of your shoulders, and Suguru had finally ceased eating you out. Your body is so tired. Taking a moment to rest in Satoru’s bed with your eyes closed, you hear clothes shuffling around.
You assumed they were maybe getting back dressed, but no, you were sorely mistaken.
“C’mere, angel. Let me hold you.” Suguru whispers softly as he crawls behind you onto the bed. Your eyes flutter open to see him completely naked, patting his lap for you.
He is (thankfully) not a big as Satoru is, but his cock is definitely fatter. You swallow harshly as your eyes wander his body.
“Listen to him, sweets.” Satoru snaps your mind back to reality as his hand gently swats at your thigh.
You slowly crawl up onto Suguru’s lap, and he turns you facing away from him. Your back lies flush against his chest. “I’ll be gentle with you. Don’t worry,” He hums softly as he pulls your shirt and bra off of you, finally discarding those pesky items.
His hand carefully adjusts his cock right between your thighs, fitting snuggly between your warm wet folds. “Mmm, feel good, angel?” He asks as his body lightly shudders from the feeling.
You weakly nod your head, and Geto starts to slowly rock his hips back and forth, coating his inches in your slick.
Satoru climbed next to you two, and he cuddles into your side before lazily catching one of your nipples into his mouth. His eyes flutter shut as he gently suckles on the sensitive bud. His hand is gently playing and rubbing on your other.
“Mnnph~ fuck..” You whimper as you lean your head back against Suguru’s shoulder. His hips continue to rock behind you, spreading your slick all over your thighs.
“Wanna see something.. ah~.. fun, angel?” Suguru asks quietly as he gently takes your hand. He slowly guides you to grabbing onto Satoru’s hair, which elicits a small whine out of him.
His blue eyes flutter open as he looks up at you pitifully while swirling his tongue around the small bundle of nerves. It seems as though he has a weak spot - his hair being pulled.
You can barely concentrate from the movement of Suguru’s hips when he makes you pull Satoru’s hair again only harder this time. The white-haired male moans around your nipple, adding vibrations to the mix of stimulation.
“Look at me, pretty boy.” Geto purrs at his boyfriend. Satoru’s eyes look up towards both yours and Geto’s faces. His eyebrows are pinched together, and he doesn’t dare stop suckling on the soft bud.
Suguru reaches down with his other hand, and he adjusts his cock right against your warm entrance. His tip bumps against the ring of muscle, causing you to whine from the sensation.
“Gonna prep her for you, okay?” Suguru mumbles to his boyfriend. The white-haired male immediately pulls away from your breast with a soft ‘pop’ noise.
“Wait no, I wann-“ Satoru’s words are futile as Suguru pushes into you with a loud groan. His head falls back against the pillow behind him. Your hands grab at the sheets with a whine as you squeeze your eyes shut. It feels like he’s trying to split you into two with his fat cock.
“Mmnn.. so, so tight.” He grunts, obviously provoking Satoru more. “Feels so good.” He adds while his hips shallowly move, pushing his tip in and out. The tight wet muscle envelopes him each time with a squelching noise.
Satoru’s eyes are as big as saucers as he watches Suguru barely pump into you. The sight of your cunt struggling to fit him and dripping juices all along his length makes him feel feral.
A huff escapes his lips as he shifts his face between your legs. “I wanted to stretch her.” He furrows his eyebrows in slight jealousy.
“Too bad. You’re just going to have to… ngh~.. watch me do it.” Suguru retorts as he pushed a couple inches deeper, allowing your gummy walls to squeeze around him.
“Oh f-fuck..! s’too much-“ You cry as your hips start to tremble. The pressure from his cock pushing deeper causes you to arch your back away from the brunette.
“Angel, I’m barely even in yet. You can do better than that.” Geto tsks disapprovingly. His hands wrap around your hips to hold them still. “Help her out, Satoru.”
The white-haired male looked up at your scrunched face as white hot pleasure and pain course through you, and he actually takes a little bit of pity on you… or maybe he just really wants a taste. Either way, he drags his tongue up Suguru’s length, licking your juices off his boyfriend. He continues to lick upward until his tongue presses against your clit.
You choke out a moan as you’re struggling to keep control over your body. It’s all so much. Your poor cunt squeezes around Suguru as Satoru continues to lap at you. As soon as you begin to adjust, Suguru pushes all the way into you, down to the hilt.
“Fuuuuck~ so good.” He groans as you clench around him so deliciously. Your juices mixing with Satoru’s saliva make it absolutely messy. The wet smacking noises fill the room as Suguru wastes no more time fucking himself into you.
Satoru’s tongue continually switches from focusing on your clit and licking up your juices from the base of Geto’s cock. He hums in pleasure as he pitifully grinds his painfully hard length into the mattress, desperate for any sort of friction.
“Sh-shit-! Satoruu~” You drawl as your hand finds his hair, but he quickly pins your wrist down, not letting you force him to submit again.
“She’s weepin’ for me, Suguru.” Satoru taunts with a hint of pride.
The brunette is lost in his own deep thrusts. He can feel his balls tightening, signaling how close he was. “Yeah? Get in here then. Make her feel good.” Suguru instructs as he pulls himself out of your wet heat, mostly to prevent himself from finishing too quickly.
You immediately whine in protest from the empty feeling, causing both of the men to chuckle at you. “Such a slut. Just needing something to fill you up, hm? You don’t care which one of us it is.” Satoru is back to his degradation as he sits up on his knees, scooting himself between both yours and Geto’s legs.
Suguru carefully tucks his cock back behind you, in between your soft pillowy cheeks. Satoru takes his opportunity and pressed himself against your entrance.
“Fuuck sweets, she’s cryin’ for me.” He groans as he bullies himself inside of you, immediately pushing all the way to the hilt, causing for you to let out a silent scream. His tip practically kisses your cervix, filling you fuller than you ever have been before. “Gotta give her what she wants.”
His thrusts were unlike Geto’s. He was rough, not giving you any time to adjust to his length before he starts pounding your pretty pussy. Your body jerks and squirms, but both of the men hold you down, making sure you can’t get away.
With each brutal thrust, your backside inadvertently grinds against Suguru’s already sensitive length. “Fuu- hnnngh~ my god.” The brunette whines behind you as his fingers dig into your hips.
You’re already a complete blabbering mess, getting completely fucked stupid in the head by the white-haired male. “Hah~… fuuuck, pleaasee.” You whimper, not even know what you’re begging for.
Satoru has your wrists pinned against Suguru’s shoulders while he slams into you. Sweat gathers on his forehead as he’s completely enamored by both yours and Geto’s spent faces. His mind plays tricks on him, convincing him that he’s miraculously fucking both of you right now.
“Whatcha beggin’ for, sweets?” He huffs as his hips push into yours, forcing your entire body up and down against his boyfriend. “Need both of us?”
Your eyes immediately widen, and you’re shaking your head quickly. “Ah, ah, I don’t hear the safe word. Suguru, I think she wants it.”
Geto pants and moans as he slowly pulls his hips back, allowing for his cock to slip between your legs. He’s painfully hard and sensitive too. “Think you can take b-both of us, angel?” He asks as he gently rubs his tip against your entrance that is already being filled by Satoru.
“N-no~! I-… I can’t.” You practically pleading as your legs are trembling from Satoru’s harsh abuse of your cunt.
“Shh, nonsense.” Suguru soothes as he brings his hand up to his mouth. He spits onto his hand and drags it along his length, lubricating himself so he can glide in. “You wanna be a good girl, don’t you?”
“Please. She’s not good for anything besides taking us.” Satoru interjects as he slowly pulls himself back until just his tip is inside, allowing Suguru the room to squeeze in.
“Poor angel, can’t even resist it, can you?” Geto mocks as he guides himself to your entrance. He slowly works his was inside. His cock was completely flush against Satoru’s, and your walls completely tighten around the both of them.
Tears fill your eyes as the pressure from both of them is almost too much. Your entire body tenses up, trying to cope with the feeling of being so full.
“Shhh, you gotta relax, darling.” Suguru murmurs into your ear. His hand reaches around and gently rubs small circles against your clit, coaxing your body to open up for them. “We’re gonna take good care of you. You need to trust us though.”
Satoru sits patiently, biting his inner cheek to prevent himself from moving. The tight feeling of your sopping cunt as well as Suguru’s cock smushed against his was nearly enough to throw him overboard. He gathers your hair carefully, and he gently moves it out of the way so he can kiss on your neck.
Suguru follows suit: kissing and biting gently on your opposite shoulder. Both of the men worked together to ease your body while Suguru slowly sunk in deeper and deeper, stretching you to your fullest. 
“Good girl..” The brunette quietly purrs in your ear. “Takin’ us both so well. Think you can take a little more?”
“Don’t call her that. This slut can barely fit us both.” Satoru grins as he wastes no more time. His hips start to roll back and forth, and his hands grabbed at the bottom of your thighs, lifting your legs up so they both could have better access.
Both of the men take turns pushing their cocks deep inside you, not giving you a single moment to rest or adjust. Your head was spinning, unable to form a coherent thought as your poor cunt was being taken by two at once.
Suguru’s clasp on your hips tightens as he rhythmically buries himself into you repeatedly. The feeling of your warm gummy walls combined with Satoru’s cock rubbing against his, creating a delicious friction was too much to handle.
“F-fuck.. I’m not gonna last too much longer.” He pants as he continues torturously rutting upwards into your sloppy wet entrance. “N-need to feel this.. mmmph.. this pussy up.”
Satoru growls lowly as he slows his pacing but makes each thrust count. Watching his boyfriend unravel underneath you was something he didn’t know he needed. He can feel himself getting close too.
But it was you who finished first. You couldn’t even warn them before your orgasm suddenly washed over you. Fluids gushed along both of them as your cunt spasmed and clenched around them.
“Did you just-“ Satoru looks down at where you two are connected to confirm it with his own eyes. “D-dirty girl, you just squirted on us.” He muses as his thrusts grow sloppier.
Suguru’s barely pumping into you before he tilts his head back. His adam’s apple bobs as he paints your insides white with a loud, needy groan.
Satoru’s legs are trembling as he keeps fucking himself into you. It’s so fucking wet from Suguru’s cum as well as your juices. The combined throbbing and clenching bring on dual sensations that have him spilling inside you as well.
“G-god fuck!” He tightens his grip on your wrists as he works his way through his orgasm.
The three of you stay in bed connected together while panting softly. The frat house is eerily quiet. Everyone must’ve went home.
“Are you alright, angel?” Suguru asks as his feather light touch grazes your tummy softly. “We didn’t hurt you, did we?”
“N-no… I’m okay.” You mutter weakly. “I don’t think I can walk back to my dorm though…”
“Good. You’re not leaving anyways.” Satoru declares with a playful smile before he snuggles into you and Suguru.
“He’s a bit clingy, but I agree. Stay here for tonight.” Suguru says, also wrapping his strong arms around you.
While the three of you slept peacefully in each other’s arms, your phone was blowing up with texts and calls from Ino who was worried sick when he showed up to the party, and you weren’t there. Oh well, you’ll just have to tell him in the morning.
#jjk#jjk fanfic#jujutsu kaisen#fanfic#drabble#jjk suggestive#gojo satoru#jjk gojo#jjk suguru#getou suguru x reader#geto suguru#satosugu#jujutsu satoru#satoru x reader#gojo smut#gojo x reader#geto x reader#jjk geto#jjk smut#satoru smut#smut oneshot#jjk x reader#satosugu smut
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Never get yo bitch back!
plug!connie x black fem reader 😛😛
wc- 1.7k!
☆ warnings ☆: mdni! mentions of weed nd alcohol, smut 18+, cheating (established relationship w eren), public-ish sex (bathroom unlocked door), pnv, oral (f receive), Connie and reader have wanted each other for a min, first time writing ever don't drag me y'all pls!! 😓 I kinda want to make this have multiple parts but idk yet. I'm very open to criticism nd I hope y'all enjoy!
"Y/nnnnn, cmon you can come outside for one night!" Your best friend Sasha whined through the screen. As much as you protested, deep down you really did want to go out. Especially because Eren wasn't at home, you really wanted to talk to him since y'all haven't been doing so well recently. Petty arguments, sleepless nights, ig posts, and to top it all off he hasn't been to your house in weeks, not giving y'all anytime to have a conversation.
You check the time and see it's 6:00pm that means you got at least 2-3 hours before you would have to leave. "Girl you right, send me the lo. What you wearin?" Sasha set her phone up to show you the outfit she picked out, "Girl that's cute asf!! Ima match you." Sasha helped you pick out an outfit (1 or 2) that resembled hers. "Okay Sash ima finish my hair nd makeup, lmk when yall otw there." "Bye N/n, i gotchu." Sasha hung up and you continued finishing your hair and makeup.
Once you were in your car you looked at the location, realizing that it was at Jean's house, meaning Connie would be there. There was something so attractive about Connie that you didn't know how to explain, he was just, mesmerizing. You knew you would never be able to approach him tho, him nd Eren had been friends forever, and that was a boundary you wouldn't cross. Nothing being crossfaded couldn't fix..
You pull in front of Jean's house and it's packed, you can hear the music from the street. You text Sasha that you pulled up and fix yourself in the car mirror. "We're waiting for you at the front N/n." You read Sasha's text and get out of your car. When you open the door Mikasa, Annie, Sasha, and some other girls greet you. You scan the crowd feeling a familiar stare, you turn to your right and see a crossfaded Connie Springer and his homeboys sitting on some sofas in the corner. Connie feels you stare back and smirks. 'This finna be interesting.' You think to yourself.
You make your way to the kitchen to take a couple shots, Sasha gets a blunt from Ony, and y'all head upstairs to light up. When the sesh is over you feel amazing, the music is blasting, you're having a great night, and you're a 10, what could be better? You and the girls head downstairs to go dance and enjoy your night. You and Sasha throw ass like there's no tomorrow and Mikasa is right there to catch it. You laugh and stand up straight when you feel the stare of those familiar hazel eyes. "Ima go grab another drink" you tell Sasha and she drukenly nods.
You walk up to the counter where all of the drinks are, "hey connie" you look at him, and smile. He leans in closer to you "wassup mami, you look good. shit, you smell good too." he smiles at you with all of his pearly white teeth and you notice his silver grillz.(#1, #2, #3) God he's so fine. The way his red eyes are hanging low, the smell of his cologne, and his pretty ass accent, triple homicide.
"Where yo man at tho? Thought he was gon come tonight." Connie's confused as to why Eren isn't at this party trailing you like a lost puppy, unless, y'all wasn't on speaking terms right now. He grinned at the thought "Oh um Ion really-" You stuttered out wondering why he would ruin a good conversation. "Nah you ain gotta answer mami, follow me." He held his hand out with a 'hm' and you quickly took it, needing to feel his touch. He lead you upstairs to the first bathroom he saw, he opened the door, "Tu vas primero hermosa" you go first beautiful. You smiled at the sentence and walked in front of him. His eyes naturally trailed down to the best view there was 'Damn.' was all he thought as he watched you walk and felt himself get harder in his sweats.
"So wassup?" You questioned him, almost like a challenge. You leaned your back against the counter and looked into his eyes. "To be honest ion wanna play no games ma, you know what I want." He leaned towards you, muscular and veiny arms on both sides of you, caging you in.
You could feel the tension grow as both of you realized just how badly you needed the other. "Can I?" Connie asks to kiss you 'and he's respectful omg add that to the list' you think, "Yes, you can." As soon as those three words came out of your mouth, Connie grabbed the back of your neck and pulled you to him, his other hand quickly found your ass and squeezed, while your hands slid their way into his scruffy buzzcut. The kiss was passionate but it also had a hint of hunger, longing almost, like both of you waited your whole lives for this. Both of your tongues fighting for dominance, and both of you wanted, no, craved more from each other. Connie's large hand found it's way to your throat and he squeezed softly earning a light moan from you, Connie pulled away, a string of saliva connecting you two.
"Ay dios mio mami" oh my god Connie whispered. Connie littered bites and hickeys down your neck and exposed cleavage, not caring who would see. He tapped on your thigh, a signal for you to stand so he could remove your pants. He then picked you up and set you back down on the counter, he kissed the insides of your thighs and left a trail of bites. He looked up at you for confirmation, and you nodded your head, he pulled your panties to the side. Connie was in a trance, the way your folds were so puffy, the way they were covered in wetness, connie almost came in his pants at the sight. "Fuck." was all he said before he began kissing and sucking on your lips. He spread them open with his middle and index finger, and could've sworn he saw heaven.
He plunged his fingers inside your wet hole, sucking on your clit while he pumped his fingers in you nice and slow. "Fuck con" you let out a soft moan, it was like music to his ears. He worked his fingers a little faster and curled them up grazing over your spot. "o-oh fuck connie mmhm, right there" He came up, bottom half of his face covered in your sweet juices "You taste so sweet, princesa" and with that he went back down and devoured you like you were his last meal. "a-ah mm con. That feels soo good" you whispered, feather light moans. You could feel the knot in your stomach tightening as he pushed his tongue in and out of your hole. "Cmon mami let me hear you." he felt you squeeze his tongue and pull his hair, that was enough to let him know. He pushed his fingers back in and started pumping at an insane speed.
"Go ahead ma, let me taste all of you" Your thighs tightened around his head as you felt your high coming. "ah connie 'm gonna cum, fuck!" you moaned out louder than before, he curled his fingers again, making you throw your head back and squeeze your eyes closed. "Joder, eres tan deliciosa." damn, you're so delicious.
Connie stood up and your hands immediately found the band of his sweats and boxers, in one tug you pulled them both down. "Eager much huh mami? Well I expect you to take it all then." Your eyes widened at the statement but your thoughts were cut short when you heard him speak again. "Turn around for me mami, and don't take your eyes off the mirror." The dominance in his voice made you even wetter. You turned around towards the mirror and he slid off your panties.
He smeared his tip on your folds, collecting your wetness. Without warning he pushed his full length in, starting off with slow strokes. "Fuck mami, you're squeezing me so tight" You arched your back a little more and relaxed. He starts moving quicker and palms the fat of your ass.
Connie props one of your legs on the counter and smacks your ass. "f-fuck connie oh!" hearing you get louder, not caring if anyone could hear you, only riled him up more. He snaked his hand around your throat pulling your head up more so you could see what a mess he made of you. Your lip liner gone, mascara smeared on your damp bottom eyelashes, and a fucked out expression. Connie thought you looked perfect.
"Y-yes mami, take all t-this dick" you hear him stutter his calm demeanor fading away as he fucks into you at an unruly pace. "Ah! Con so good. i-it's so big" He smacks your ass again and continues fucking you.
He pulls out and you pout feeling empty "Calmate princesa." calm down princess He chuckles and flips you on your back then he pulls your hips closer to him. He pushes back into you, not wasting any time. Connie pushes your legs back a little more "Keep 'em right there ma." You hold the back of your knees with your hands, feeling connie's tip hit all the right places, Connie places a heavy hand on your lower stomach and he presses down. "a-ah con please! it feels soo good." You and Connie both feel yourselves about to cum.
"Con 'm about to cum! ah please Connie!" You can feel your thighs starting to shake, "g-go ahead mami, fuck you're so perfect. m-make a mess all over me." Connie rubs on your sensitive bud and keeps fucking you deep. You can feel a wave of pleasure wash over you and your vision turns white. "Ah! Connie fuck 'm cumming!" You yell, "f-fuck me too ma." You notice his voice falter and crack at the end, he sounds so angelic. He pulls out and hot, white, ropes coat your tummy.
Connie begins wiping off your stomach and he leans in to kiss you, but he sees something in the corner of his eye, almost like a, figure. "Shit" Connie says blankly, putting his pants back on. You scramble to put your clothes back on and turn to see Eren standing there looking pissed.
"what.. what the fuck is wrong with y'all?"
Whew chileeeee. y'all did I at least nibble or what 👀 but lmk if I should make this multiple parts, also give me title ideas!! lmk if y'all want to be tagged in the next parts! love u all nd I hope y'all had as much fun reading as I had writing this! (watch nb read ts #embarrasing 😰)
- with lots of love, gabrielle <3
#connie springer#connie x black reader#plug!connie#aot x reader#aot#black reader#fanfic#aot x black reader#aot x black y/n#black tumblr#x black reader#x black y/n#aot smut#connie smut#aot connie#new author#new to writing
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tied to you
wc: 1.3k content warning: smut, bondage, slight bdsm, friends w/ benefits, some degradation, slight humiliation, mouth fuck, not proofread, shitty writing, multi-fandom x reader
note: hihi whoevers reading this its kinda like my first time writing something more darkish in terms of smut idk how to explain??? bc i was kinda interested trying my hand at writing bondage and whatnot so um hopefully its at least ok???
*:・゚✧
“Does it hurt if I tighten it like this?” are the words you hear as the red ropes grip around your curves, tightening at every given movement.
“No, it actually feels good.” You always wanted to try this fantasy of yours that you’ve seen on a variety of different medias. It’s a way to stimulate and satisfy you through bondage, essentially meaning being tied up. You thought this way of pleasure was very intriguing at first glance, being able to feel pleasure through being binded tightly by strings. Since you had a friends with benefits relationship, you wanted to experiment this with your partner.
“You look so hot right now, you know that. Can’t move, just tied up for me. Ha.. I can’t help but get hard just by looking at you,” your partner grins. Skin starting to come to a slight bruising the more you move. The tight rope just barely hitting your bare perky rosy nipples, making your tits spill out of the red rope. You grinded yourself on the rope that was right in between your folds, letting out silent moans while soaking the cords with your wet fluids. Your ass is fully exposed with each cheek separated along the lines of the cords. You were currently kneeling on your bed, with the ropes digging into your skin, hands binded behind your back as well as your ankles. He’s standing, watching and observing the ropes tightly against your skin right in front of you. You watch as your partner’s hard on keeps reaching its peak, watching it grow. You want to see it closer and maybe even give him a reward for tying you up so well.
“Take your pants off, I’ll suck you off” confidently you said to him, underestimating what he’s gonna do since you’re in a pretty vulnerable state. He raises an eyebrow, shooting you a look of surprise.
“Anything you want for looking so gorgeous,” shuffling off his pants and sliding down his boxers. The moment his dick popped out and recoiled off his stomach, you start salivating looking at his length and thickness. He steps closer to you and watches as you try to catch it into your mouth. Obviously, you needed his hand to guide you if he wanted you to suck him off! He couldn’t help but laugh at you for wanting to suck his cock so bad in an attempt to humiliate you.
“You’re so silly. If you want it that bad you have to beg for it,” Holding his dick still, he starts smacking you multiple times in the face as he lets out a low chuckle. You can’t help but givehim a dirty look for his tauntings. Fueling your irritation you blurted out at him.
“Just put it in my mouth already dickhead! Fuck you, stop teasing m-” the warm thick dick of his, stuffs your mouth completely hitting the back of your throat. You let out a groan from his sudden thrust. His hands gripped handfuls of your lucious locs as he pushed your head further down. Feeling it prob the back of your throat made you gag, causing him to jerk it back out. Coughing violently, tears started to sting your eyes as your body reacted.
“Well? I did what you said you wanted me to do. What do you wanna do next, hmm?” the sincerity in his low voice made you wanna clock him right there. Obviously, since you’re binded, you can’t. All yo ucould do was be angry. Although he was right, he did give you what you wanted and you can’t prove him wrong. Shit, your brain thought out of all people I chose to try bondage with this fucker?? Well, it’s like you had no other friends with benefits to try this out with. Recovering from his impulsive move, you might as well continue. Well.. you were gonna anyway since you’re quite literally tied up. You let out one big sigh which made him respond with a loud huff.
“I.. I want to…” what you’re about to say, just the thought of saying out loud in front of this guy is enough to make you die of embarrassment. You knew what you wanted to say but couldn’t spit them out. He watched you struggle with your words for a good minute with his eyebrow raised and arms crossed against his toned chest.
“Just say it bitch, I don’t get what you’re picking at here…” he sighs and scratches his head trying to figure out what you’re saying in his thick skull. You can’t help but look down turning a red hue, completely humiliated with what you’re gonna tell him to do.
“I want you to mouth fuck me,” he’s staring at you like you’ve gone mad and turned into a whole different person than he usually has sex with. Your words sent chills up his spine, he wouldn’t expect this even if you’ve never became friends with benefits.
“I.. Uh, are you sure..??” you nod, staring him down making him gulp. Opening your mouth wide for him, he intoxicates your warm plush mouth with his thick cock. His girth making your eyes tear up, his hands reach for the back of your head as he start moving in deeper. As he thrusts your head over and over on his dick, your body moved with him. The squelches sounds squeaked out of your mouth while your bedsheets shuffled. The tension coming from the ropes on your body restrain you from moving even further. You can’t help but moan from the friction the cords produced on your skin and intimate areas, causing a bright red to start fading in. The thin sheen layer of sweat starting to show up on your bare flesh as you took in his cock.
“Shit this feels so good” seductively was heard from above. Looking up at him, he was enjoying himself as much as you were. His tender muscular build mixed in with his musky scent and sweat, as his cock rubs harshly against your gummy mouth.
His rough pace quickens as if your sloppy, swollen lips were now his own personal fleshlight moving at his own rate. Your cheeks hollowing and altering back to normal as you suction on his dick. The moment your eyes rolled back was the moment he started to twitch in your mouth, knowing he’s coming to a close.
“I’m gonna cum.. Do you want it in your mouth, you filthy whore?” you tried hard to shake your head. Gross anything but his cum in your mouth. Feeling your shake, he was at least nice enough to respect your decision. Right as he pulled out leaving you exhausted and gasped with your sore coarse throat. He instantly pumps his cock with his hand, releasing explosions of his thick sticky fluids flying onto your sweaty, tear stained face.
His essence dripped down onto the rest of your body and the ropes that bruised and turned your skin into different shades. You were beyond exhausted and overstimulated from the rope rubbing against your most sensitive parts. Your partner couldn’t help but stand for a moment, letting him catch his breath, watching you regain your composure.
“Augh.. shit” you can’t help but cough overwhelmingly after getting your throat fucked severely like that. Droplets were still streaming down as your body reacted to what it’s just been put through. His warm touch swipes your tears off the surfaces of your cheek.
“Sorry. I was a bit harsh with you, wasn’t I?” untying the rope from your body, you collapse in his heated embrace as he reaches for a tissue to wipe his cum off of you.
*.༄ DABI, SHIGARAKI, SUNA RINTARO, OIKAWA TOORU, ATSUMU MIYA, YUJI TERUSHIMA, SAKUSA KIYOOMI, GOJO SATORU, SUKUNA, TOJI FUSHIJURO, KAEYA, CHILDE, TENGEN UZUI, OBANAI IGURO, MUZAN KIBUTSUJI, DOMA
masterlist here
#haikyuu#haikyuu smut#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu time skip#genshin x reader#genshin smut#jjk#jjk x reader#jjk smut#jjk gojo#jujutsu kaisen smut#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen#hq smut#demon slayer smut#mha smut#mha x reader#bnha smut#bnha x reader#bnha imagines#mha imagines#dabi x reader#bnha x y/n#genshin impact smut#genshin impact#genshin impact x reader#genshin x y/n#sukuna
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okay hello i’ve come to offer a vague concept ❤️🤲 the first thing that came into my mind is like being in a car. and something being wrong w the car. which sounds so stupid but is hopefully vague enough?? also idk if i’m meant to specify a ship but (and you probs already know what i’m gonna say) ur bartylus genuinely changed my life and it’s always on my mind and im obsessed w it forever and ever and would die if you ever wrote them again (but also like. no pressure. i don’t wanna try and tie you down to one specific pathway) ANYWAY i hope this is vague enough but also not too vague that you’re just staring at me blankly rn… icl babe u really didn’t set any parameters so i’m kinda trying to spear fish in the dark here but im gonna stop talking now…. eagerly (but patiently!!) awaiting ur response <33
LMAO NOOO thank you so much this is exactly the level of vagueness i wanted!!! i simply need to let things cook in my beautiful mind palace before i can write + vague concepts work best for that
anyway i tried to do it justice for u. it's more barty character study than bartylus sorry but. also it's compeltely unedited!! do with that what you will xoxo
“I knew it,” Regulus murmured, a hand coming up to cover his eyes. He was slumped down in his seat, the lines of his face stark in the pale moonlight. The motorway stretched out empty and endless before them.
Barty clenched his jaw and turned the key in the ignition once more. The engine sputtered loudly, just enough to give him some small shred of hope, before it promptly died for the fifth time.
“Dammit,” he hissed, thumping his hand against the steering wheel. He turned to Regulus, “What?”
Regulus lowered his hand and glared fiercely. “I knew I was going to die in this metal box the moment you persuaded me to get in.”
“And yet, you still let me persuade you.”
“Barty.”
“What?” Barty grinned. “You’re not going to die, Regulus. Cars are only dangerous when they’re moving.”
Regulus scoffed. He looked about five minutes away from having a conniption—which meant that Barty had about three minutes of continuing to fuck with him before he got properly angry. His hands were clenched in the fabric of his trousers, and when he turned his face towards the window, Barty could glimpse the deep shadows under his eyes as they appeared under the light.
He felt his heart soften, just a tad.
“I have a plan,” Barty said.
Regulus rolled his eyes so far back that they disappeared into his skull: “Oh, joy. Another plan.”
“They’ve gotten us this far, haven’t they?”
“Yes, stranded on the side of the road with you,” muttered Regulus. “Exactly where I want all my plans to lead me.”
At that, Barty felt a strange, wild sort of affection swell up within him. He wanted to lean over and bite the nape of Regulus’s neck hard enough to draw blood, wanted to crowd him against the door until all that bluster and exasperation fell away. But there would be time for that.
“Don’t you want to hear my plan?”
“No,” Regulus said sullenly. “I want—”
He stopped. Barty’s grin abruptly fell away. He reached over and cradled the back of Regulus’s head, firmly enough that he had no choice but to face him. Regulus kept his eyes downcast, an unhappy twist to his mouth, a sickly tinge to his face that the low light couldn’t hide.
“Hey,” Barty said, and he curled his hand into a fist in Regulus’s hair. “Look at me.”
Regulus’s gaze flickered up.
He was a living bruise, a walking heartache. Two weeks ago, Barty had looked at him as they packed their things for the end of term, and he’d known that Regulus wouldn’t survive another summer in that house—not as himself, anyway. He knew it the way Sirius must have, before he left, and he understood. Better than he’d like to admit. Sometimes it was easier to pack your bags than to watch someone like Regulus tread water and insist that they weren’t moments away from sinking.
In that respect, though, Barty was different. He didn’t care what Regulus wanted. He wasn’t going to leave him to drown.
Besides. Barty was fed up, himself.
When he spoke, his voice was low and steady, and Regulus listened with wide, unblinking eyes: “We’re not going home. Do you understand? There’s nothing back there. Nothing. Forget it, Regulus.”
A beat of silence. Barty’s grip loosened, he made to pull back, and then—
“What about your mother?” Regulus asked with a horrible little glint in his gaze.
“What about her?” Barty replied without missing a beat.
Regulus blinked. Barty almost laughed at him. Could have, at the idea that Regulus thought he’d trapped him with that. His mother, who’d wanted Berty out of that house perhaps even more than he himself did. Regulus could never understand that.
What he could understand, though, was the terrifying, exhilarating sensation of freedom. Of the surprising vastness of your own mind when it was vacant of everyone but yourself. Of sitting in a car stranded on the side of the road and becoming aware of your own mortality. Death was suddenly an end to something real and full of potential.
After what felt like an eternity, Regulus asked, “What’s your plan?”
“I turn seventeen in five hours,” Barty said. “Once midnight hits, the Trace will disappear. I’ll fix the car then.”
“You don’t know how to fix it.”
“At least I know it’s called a car and not a ‘metal box.’”
“You want us to spend five hours in this thing?” Regulus said, as though catching up with his own disbelief.
“Technically, seven hours,” said Barty. “We still have to make it to Bath. And then, once we pick up the twins…”
“What?”
“I don’t know,” Barty shrugged—a loose, slouching thing. He noticed Regulus’s eyes track the motion with nothing short of predatory glee. “Orgy in the metal box?”
“I hate you.”
“You love me,” Barry cajoled, grinning from ear to ear. “Why else would you run away with me?”
There was a long moment of silence, in which Regulus gazed, baleful and petulant, out at the road in front of them and Barty gazed at him. Already, he was more animated, more tetchy, more acerbic than he’d been just days ago. The cobwebs slowly clearing from his eyes.
Sometimes, Barty recognized Regulus like the slant of himself in a shard of glass. But other times, Regulus was just very beautiful. Barty wondered if there an element of vanity in wanting him, to the prideful joy he got out of fucking him out of his own head. The idea that he could press Regulus down hard enough to mold him back into himself.
On very rare occasions, he wondered if he was like his father. If the only love he knew was what he learned from the voice in his head as it puppeted his limbs about. If that presence was more himself than he was. A normal person would look at it with revulsion, would see complete and total control as a firsthand abomination.
But it was because Barty knew the abomination firsthand that he knew also the complete, total, clean satisfaction of such control.
“You were hardly the first to ask,” Regulus said mildly.
Even in the darkness, Barty could see the flush travel down his neck. He grinned and, without another word, reached over and unhooked Regulus’s seatbelt.
“I didn’t ask,” he replied, just as mild.
#my writing#bartylus#ask#thank youuu i had so much fun writing this! bartylus is such a fun challenge for me#regulus black#barty crouch jr
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NSFW - hi i’m back 😞 could you possibly write f!reader tripping over JQ’s feet (literally) and apologizing profusely and JQ tells them it’s okay, but they just keep apologizing until JQ asks for a kiss as an apology that turn into smut? this is a a lot to ask so i hope it isn’t a lot in terms of requests, but if it is please ignore 😭🙏🏾
Hello again! Don't worry about the amount of details. The more the better! It helps paint a better picture when writing. Thank you again for the request!
MINORS DNI. ADULT CONTENT AHEAD
Fallen For You
Junker Queen X Fem!Reader CW: Smut, fingering, oral, finger sucking, slight degradation, praise WC: 1.4k A/N: There was no specification on what kind and how much smut, so I hope this is doable!
Working for the Queen of Junkertown is a blessing and a curse. A blessing because I was able to get to know her and hopefully make a move because of the massive crush I had. But that was the curse. My massive crush. What if she doesn't like me? What if she has eyes on someone else? I'll never know until I ask her. But how do you ask someone like her that? I don't want to assume anything.
Her and I were working in her throne room. She was sitting at her desk and I was putting some things away in her bookshelf. Most of them were files that needed to be sorted, which I was taking some of them from her desk as we were doing this. I walked towards her desk to grab the new stacks of papers. I turned and went to take a step, but tripped over her leg being extended out from underneath her desk. With one quick move, she stood up and bent over her desk, grabbing the back of my shirt as the papers fell onto the ground.
"Sorry 'bout that," she said, making sure I was standing upright before she let go of my shirt.
"I am so, so sorry, your majesty," I said.
"Aye, don't worry about it, Y/N," she smiled. "Are you alright though? I kinda grabbed ya a bit hard."
"I'm fine. What can I do to make up for it?" I asked, starting to pick up the papers.
"Don't worry about it, Y/N," she said, going back to the papers she was writing now.
I grabbed the papers and placed them on her desk, straightening them before I started to alphabetize them by last name. There would be times where I had a hard time remembering, so I stood there, counting on my fingers while mouthing the entire alphabet.
"Ya alright, Y/N?" she asked.
"Yeah one second," I said, placing a few papers in a new stack.
"Ya don't have to do that."
"It was my fault the papers fell."
"Ya don't have to feel obligated to do it."
"I have to."
"Y/N," she reached over and grabbed my hand. "Truly, it's alright."
"There must be somethin' I can do to make up for it."
"There is one thing," she said.
"That is?"
"Not to worry about it."
"Come on, your majesty," I shook my head. "There has to be somethin'?"
She shook her head, "There's nothin'. Ya just don't gotta worry about it."
I sighed and ignored her, returning to what I was doing. A few minutes had passed and she stood up, coming around behind me.
"Your majesty, what are ya--whoa!"
She grabbed my hips and lifted me up, walking over to the couch that was in the room. She plopped me down and sat beside me.
"Can ya be a bit more gentle next time?" I asked.
"Y/N, I appreciate ya wantin' to fix your mistake. But when I tell ya not to worry about it, that is an order. And I can't help but notice that ya have the guts to defy your queen."
"I-I'm s-sorry, m-my queen."
She closed her eyes for a moment, taking in a sharp inhale before exhaling slowly. She slowly nodded her head before her eyes opened up, a dark look in them.
"Don't say that," she growled.
"W-What?"
"My queen. Unless ya want somethin' to come from it."
"S-Sorry," I turned away from her.
"I know a way you can make it up to me," she reached over and grabbed my jaw, turning my head back to face hers.
"W-What's that, your majesty?"
"First, ya call me Odessa or Dez. Secondly," she leaned towards me, a few inches away from my face. "Ya kiss me."
"W-What?" I asked.
"Kiss me. That's an order."
A-Am I dreaming? D-Did she basically confirm she had feelings for me? I couldn't help but squeal a bit on the inside as I reached up, grabbing her face and smashing my lips against hers. This was heaven. She was heaven. Her soft lips against mine. I pulled away and found a giant grin on her face, followed by her biting her bottom lip slightly.
"Fuck," she breathed out.
"Me," I whispered.
"What?" Odessa asked.
"N-Nothin'."
"Come on, Y/N," her hand trailed from my thigh and up to the side of my stomach. "I know ya wanna tell me. Ya don't withhold information from your queen, do ya now?"
"N-No, m-my queen."
"Say that again," she growled.
"Say what?" I smirked, "My queen?"
Her eyes fluttered closed, a small hiss coming from her.
"I'm goin' to tear ya to shreds."
"P-Please, my queen."
"Don't say I didn't warn ya."
She got onto her hands and knees, grabbing her knife from the side strap attached to her leg. She carefully placed the tip of the blade on the underside of my shorts, creating a small slit down them. I shivered as the tip was severely close to cutting me. She grabbed my thighs and spread them apart enough to where her head would fit nicely. Using her two index fingers, she placed them inside the incision that went through my shorts and undergarments, and pulled. A ripping sound filled the room before a satisfied growl.
"Fuck, you're this wet already?" she asked. "Pathetic."
"O-Odessa, please."
"Now, now, gotta get ya warmed up," she said, raising her hand to my face. "Think you can take two fingers, pretty girl?"
I grabbed her wrist, pulling her hand towards my face. I opened my mouth and took in her index and middle finger. Shit. I knew they were long and kind of think, but I wasn't expecting this. My tongue slid up and down her fingers, making sure I got in between the gaps of her fingers. Once she was satisfied, she slipped her two fingers out and immediately placed them inside me down there.
"F-Fuck, Odessa," I breathed out, grabbing at the fabric of the sofa underneath me.
"That's it," she slowly pumped her fingers in and out. "Such a good girl takin' me with ease."
"T-Thank you, m-my queen."
"Fuck I love it when ya say that."
"I'll only say it for you."
"No one else," she said as she kissed at my inner thigh that wasn't covered by my shorts.
My entire body sank into the couch as my head fell back against the top part. My body felt like it was ascending as her fingers were practically slipping in and out of me.
"I-I need you, my queen."
"Yeah, ya need me?" she asked. "Words, darlin'. What do ya want from your queen?"
"Y-Your tongue. Please, my queen."
"Since you're bein' such a good girl," she lowered her head and ran her tongue up and down my entrance before she inserted it.
"Fuck, yes, my queen."
While I was riding this high of her tongue now inside me, she secretly slipped in a third finger, completely sending me over the edge.
"M-My queen, t-too much," I squeezed my eyes shut, finding the back of her head as I grinded into her.
A knot started to form in my stomach and that was when I knew I was close. Damn, not even ten minutes in and she's already going to make me come. She was magical in every way.
"I-I'm close, my queen."
She let out a slight moan as she nodded her head, her free hand squeezing my thigh. I titled my head back as far is it could go and let out a moan, feeling myself spill out and into her mouth. Lewd slurping sounds came from down there as she pulled away, her chin glistening with my fluids. I was breathing heavily as she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand.
"So sweet. It's addicting," she whispered, going back for another.
"M-My queen," I whimpered. "I-I'm sensitive."
She didn't care. I came a second time in record time and it was followed by a third. It was about to be a fourth, but I pushed her head away.
"N-No more," I said. "Please."
She nodded her head, a soft look appearing in her eyes.
"Alright. I'm sorry, darlin'."
"I-It's alright, my queen."
I laid down on the couch, trying to catch my breath as well as come down from my numerous highs. She crawled on top of me and rested her head on my chest, her legs dangling off the side of the couch. I lazily looked at her as her eyes found mine, a soft smile forming on her lips.
"You're cute," she smiled, booping my nose.
"You're hot," I giggled, still coming down from my high.
She giggled, closing her eyes and wrapping her arms around my waist.
"You're mine," she whispered.
I ran my hand through her hair while my other arm was wrapped around her.
"I'm yours."
#junker queen#odessa dez stone#queen of junkertown#odessa stone#overwatch2#junkerqueen#junkerqueen x reader#junker queen x reader
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Could you do A, C, I, G, K, L, and P for EJ in the fluff alphabet? It would make me reallyyyy happy :3
Fluff Alphabet w/ EJ!!
ive been waiting for someone to do EJ you dont understand!!! i saw this earlier but the power went out when i finally had time to sit down and get to writing </3 my apologies as for other stuff/for everyone else, requests are still open, and the fluff alphabet will be open indefinitely!!
ATTRACTION- Honestly I think you gotta be a real catch to end up as Jacks partner, considering his entire hermit thing... I personally think that he separates himself from society after he becomes Eyeless Jack via a funky cult sacrifice thing... which he was kinda pretty much unwillingly roped into. I think he would want someone who's capable of taking care of themselves, and perhaps someone whos smart. maybe even lower maintenance. its not that he doesnt want to treat you as you deserve, its that sometimes he cant given he sometimes legitimately goes feral (though this is only really due to him pushing off his needs, blood frenzy type deal for when he pushes off eating people, can get real ugly). understanding as well, he needs someone whos willing to be understanding of his position and current predicament and know that eventually jack is going to fully not. be there anymore one day (possible angst idea? ooo?) but also even before the whole, demon thing, jack wasnt the most cheery or social and things definitely havent changed
CUDDLING- hes really cold so thats good for hot nights! not good for cold ones though </3 but hey maybe you guys are somewhere where its perpetually hot. as for the actual act of cuddling, he prefers to be the big spoon. likes sleeping closer to the door, kinda makes a barrier of himself for you in case someone were to come in. which is unlikely since if this were his place, its literally a cabin in the woods in bumfuck nowhere, but the point still stands. only engages if youre asleep or ask for it. if youre the one holding him, he kinda. freezes still and doesnt dare move. poor dude, hes so scared hes going to bite you or something
GIFT GIVING- since he lives in the woods and doesnt have a job he cant exactly go out and give you gifts. he also isnt fond of taking belongings from victims, since he already takes pieces of their bodies. coughs. anyways, i think hes more of an act of service person (will talk more about that in L)
INJURY- youre in luck, he had plans to be a doctor, thats what he was going to college for! plus i think he had a little fixation on medical stuff in general growing up. little hc that his other choice was to be a microbilogist. idk, i can see it. but i dont think it needs to be said that neither became reality. but he does know how to treat some injuries and illnesses! so youre both in luck! but how does he react, emotionally? honestly, as long as youre not bleeding while hes in his frenzied state hes more than willing to help you... although its more so because he doesnt want the scent to trigger anything in him... he cares about you, i promise! its just that ultimately its better he doesnt go feral on you- now if he was the one injured hes already patching himself up... oh but imagine convincing him to let you clean up a wound he got while trying to do his thing.... ouuuugh... let the man be vulnerable, let him be taken care of... ueueue... anyways- yeah
KISSES- he doesnt wear his mask when hes at your place or his cabin- in fact he only really wears it when hes 'hunting' or 'prowling', so!! loves kissing your cheek. will absolutely refuse to kiss you if hes just ate, though, let him wash his face and brush his teeth first. and change his clothes. he likes being kissed anywhere; forehead, mouth, cheeks, hands, ect ect ect. now in terms of frequency i dont think he likes it too often, but that may be some internalized thing about no longer being worthy of love or something but hey who am i to say (loudly winks)
LOVE LANGUAGE- as previously mentioned, acts of service is how jack shows his appreciation and love for you. need something done? hes on it! need to do some chores but dont feel like it? you dont even need to ask! stuff like that, hell, even if something doesnt need to be done he will probably tinker at it and try to make it better if its an appliance or something that can be upgraded to be more efficient and effective. when it comes to receiving he likes words of affirmation, this man has been through hell and hes still going through it, so reassuring him that you still love him even though hes changing makes things a little less scary
PET NAMES- he likes calling you babe and baby. he likes being called hon! doesnt really do petnames, he finds saying someones name intimate enough... which honestly i kinda agree with, i kinda hate how utilized it is in romantic media. just two characters loving each other, sharing a moment, and one softly utters the others name in a sweet tone. GUH!!!! anyway
#creepypasta headcanon#creepypasta x reader#creepypasta x you#eyeless jack x reader#eyeless jack x you#eyeless jack imagine#eyeless jack headcanon
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i feel like theres not a lot of great resources out there so i figured id just ask -- how would you recommend ways of living with/helping out someone else with npd? :)
youre right! most of the time when u look up NPD stuff its "THE ABUSER DISORDER: KNOW HOW TO RECOGNIZE IT AND DISABLE NARC DEFENSES SO THEY CANT TAKE ADVANTAGE OF YOU" which isnt. Great
all it really comes down to is listening to them n addressing their needs if they've communicated them to you. ill try to simplify it so i dont get too into details, though i will likely fail, and most of this advice will be based off my experiences, so idk how much itll apply to whoever ur talking about BUT:
generally (and w me especially) you can safely say that NPD mostly has to do with ego dysregulation. Our [as in myself and people w npd] mental health and general happiness tends to rely on how people perceive us, and if that perception is anything but positive, we feel like poopy doo doo dogshit. we kinda need to be paid attention to in a way that feels meaningful, yknow? compliment them, make sure theyre included in conversations (esp group ones), and try not to ignore em in any way. if youre talking to them and youre busy, for example, make sure you include that detail so they don't feel like youre brushing them aside. stuff like that. if they make art, and you genuinely like it, try going into detail as to why, whether its the colors or linework or what have you. if they write, tell them what you liked about the story or poem, etcetera. Tag them in stuff that reminds you of them if you have their socials, or send them things, show it to them, whatever.
lots of us tend to actually be very insecure, even if it doesn't seem that way, which might be important to keep in mind. sometimes we can get whats referred to as "narc crashes" (im not particularly a fan of the term narc, though theres nothing actually wrong with it, so ill just call it an NPD crash) where for whatever reason, we go from feeling great and secure in our egos and our stability and happiness and security to falling 600 feet down directly into hell no recovery absolutely awful 0% joy 0% light 100% agony. dogs with human teeth screaming at you and shit its really just no good. calling you a dunderhead
they usually (though not always!) come after a high where we feel fantastic, and most commonly the cause of a crash is we get hurt by someone, humiliated, or made to feel lesser in some significant way. for me, they're the worst when i no longer feel confident that people like me, and i become incredibly worried everybody secretly hates me. which is a very very very awful train of thought to be experiencing when you have the "EVERYBODY NEEDS TO LIKE ME NOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW" disorder. so if ur friend seems depressed or upset make sure to ask whats going on and bump up the praise and stuff up a notch. its the best way to recover for Me, at least. crashes dont have a consistent like. timeframe? i think it highly depends on the severity of what happened and whats being done to fix it, though im certainly no psychologist lmao
i feel like when folks w npd Are mean or unfair its because their needs arent being met, theyre doing awful, and they need support so they dont desperately lash out for it. god knows thats the case for me. thats another thing thats important to keep in mind i think
a lot of traits of NPD aren't pretty, and thats just a fact of the matter. its a disorder for a reason and all. even if we dont express the almost inherently negative traits all the time (usually because we are aware they are unfair to other people), its very likely that we are feeling them, and it does erode your brain after a while. The DSM-5 list of traits is probably the best way to go for this, as per this government website:
"A pervasive pattern of grandiosity (fantasy or behavior), need for admiration, and with lack of empathy, beginning by early adulthood, as indicated by at least five of the following:
Has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements, expects to be recognized as superior without actually completing the achievements)
Is preoccupied with fantasies of success, power, brilliance, beauty, or perfect love.
Believes that they are "special" and can only be understood by or should only associate with other special people (or institutions).[milo note: its hard for me to find something specific to make bold in this definition, but generally, i do not express that i think that i am better than other people even if i think it]
Requires excessive admiration.
Has a sense of entitlement, such as an unreasonable expectation of favorable treatment or compliance with his or her expectations.
Is exploitative and takes advantage of others to achieve their own ends.
Lacks empathy and is unwilling to identify with the needs of others.
Is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of them.
Shows arrogant, haughty behaviors and attitudes."
Ive bolded the ones that would negatively affect people that, I, at least, try not to express but still feel, or feel the desire to do, near constantly.
As you can see, thats a pretty hefty chunk of them! I'm sure some people could take problem with every trait listed here, in which case they can suck my whole dick, but those are the ones I've noticed upset people the most, or make relationships the most difficult. I bring these up because if someone does express these, you need to keep in mind it is because of a personality disorder. That doesn't always make them acceptable, and if they are really upsetting, you should talk to them about it, but thats just like. basic relationship shit lmao. just try to be an eensy bit forgiving
Though the MAIN reason I wanted to bring up the traits is due to the 'entitlement/unreasonable expectation of favorable treatment/compliance' one. This can manifest in a whole lot of ways, but it is genuinely infuriating when someone ignores what i want them to do/what ive asked them to do/etc, especially if its for a reason that doesnt 'feel' solid enough, like them just not wanting to do it. it can be incredibly frustrating if someone with npd says they need something from you or want you to do xyz and it doesnt happen, so try your best to listen to them. if you cant do what they desire for whatever reason, make sure thats clear, and why. Most of us will recognize we're being unfair, but will still be mad; Just know its not because of you, its because of the disorder, and most people will not hold it against you because they're aware its unreasonable in some fashion.
i think thats like. the main things when it comes to meeting the needs of someone w NPD. to summarize and dumb it down:
make sure to compliment them in meaningful ways, especially when you really mean it
pay attention to them; try to prioritize them in conversation and such. it feels very nice. dont ignore them for the love of god
keep the crashes in mind, and try to uplift your friend as much as you can. reassure them you care about them, maybe not directly by saying "i care about you" but with your actions in general
listen to them and adapt to their needs as best as you can
remember that if they are being unpleasant its probably because of The Disorder and they are not doing well. dont let anyone be a prick to you but try to be kind. everybody goes through shit
if anyone has anything to add, or if you have any followup questions, feel free to ask ^_^ i very much didn't cover everything here, and again, this is mostly based off of my experience as someone w NPD, and everyone is different to some degree. The most important thing to do is ask about their needs, and try to adapt to them the best you can.
i think thats all i have to say for now tho so. sayanora. if i come up w anything else ill add it in an edit
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alright i was planning to put out a big celebratory nublar six fanart for chaos theory day but since its 10 and I'm only done with darius I'm putting a pin in that and instead posting the notes i took at the time while watching the show!!
BIG JURASSIC WORLD CHAOS THEORY SPOILERS AHEAD
I'm going to come out with more sane-sounding analyses and all when i calm down so stick around for that -> for this i was just writing down whatever was in my head while watching but it's still fun!! (italicized the best fragments)
episode 1: - oh my fucking god bens a redditor. my sweet boy what have u done to him - darius calling brooklynn just to hear her voice made me tear up :(( - oh my GOD i missed benrius so so much
episode 2: - HE TURNED HIS VAN INTO A HUGE DORK POUCH AWWW LOVE THIS LITTLE (BIG) GUY - "guess we could've looked that up but… well…" BEN. - WHAT THE FUCK WHATTHEFUCK BEN AND BROOKLYNN WHY ARE U DOING THIS TO ME - SHES SO CUTE…… - im crying,,,, - brookes an investigative journalist awww that fits her so well - them bonding over dark jurrassic i CANNOT - ben being obsessive and dealing with constant anxiety ahhh - darius just called ben 'benjamin' i am in shambles - ohhhwwhbgb theyre fighting over trust and brooklynn and ughghhh my babies - awww bonding over candy i MISSED THEM SO MUCH
episode 3: - SAMMY LIVING ON HER FARM AHH - she doesnt talk to her parents anymore??? girl we all KNOW you care, you loved them SO MUCH?? she sacrificed so much for them what the hell happened - BUMPER CARRRRR SHES HEERREEEEEE - AWWW HER AND BENS REUNION!!!!!!! - ben defending bumpy. also i dont like carlos - SAMMY GIRLIE I LOVE U SO MUCH PLEASE GO SEE A THERAPIST. AVOIDING UR PROBLEMS BY KEEPING URSELF BUSY ISN'T HEALTHY. PLEASE - WHATTHEFUCK WHATTHEFUCK HER SEEING BROOKE I AM IN SHAMBLES - SAMMY GUTTIEREZ. STOP. - THE TEARS IN HER EYES - OH MY GOD IM SOBBING WHAT THE FUCK - "And what, Darius? Stop and think about Brooklynn dying, or my family not speaking to me, or Yaz pulling away from me? No. I… I can't stop. I won't." JESUS FUCGIN CHRSIT WHY - ^ im gonna have to post a whole analysis on this scene because wgat the fuck man - seeing them back in their 'hiding from the dinos' selves fbiudsjkbgfskd - Sammy with Brookes jacket awhghh - ^ also i STILL believe Brooklynns alive I DONT CARE WGAT ANYBODY SAYS PKAEASE - ^^ HHDFUSIGIF - alr this is the 2nd scene involving cars and jumping i have to start counting - ok ths is building up GOOD
episode 4: - ben being emo and sighing so somebody would notice him BROO - THEYRE SO CUTE?? benrius married for the double income shenanigans - YEAH BUMPYS A BOSS SHELL BE FINE - BGFDHUJKH THEYRE ADORABLE - i didn't know i needed benrius conspiring together until we got it - BEN HAS A GIRLFRIEND. !!!! - DARIUSES FLASHBACK SJIT?? - these children. (theyre older than me now i think) - oh my fucking god theyre all so traumatised - DARIUS AND KENJI ARENT ON SPEAKING TERMS. THE HELL. - KENJIIIII HEIII!!! - HES IGNORING HIM. WHAT THE FUVKING HWELL - hes an eat-love-climb kinda guyy - WHYRE THEY FIGHTINGG - oh hes BLAMING DARIUS for brooklynn? KENJI KON WHAT THE FUCK - she went to see daniel?????? why. - SAM CALLING YASMINA ALL THE TIME I - KENJ AND DARIUS WITH TRUST - sammy ranting about yaz doing things she doesn't like i- PLEASE communicate. i beg u creator gods make them actually TALK to each other - "I think we should split up." "gasp you and yaz?!" "what?! noo! us! the three of us!!! …why, did she say somethin'?" OH MY GODSHBKJG HOW BAD IS THEIR SITUATION IM SCARED - sammy just tickled the keys off him - THEY LEFT DARIUS TO DEAL WITH IT. - okay them having the emotional conversation ON THE CLIFFSIDE. ok. - KENJI BROKE UP W HER?? alright were getting dinostar then right - ^ christ man i am too good at guessing these things - DARIUS NOT KNOWING HOW CLIMBING ROPES WORK LMAO - okay B&Kenji were cute im gonna miss them - but Brooklynn ignoring him,,, JUSTIFIES IT. I GET IT KENJ OK - POOR KENJI??? WTF??????????? - OH GODFFDHGFBV AND BEFORE HER DEATH TOO WHY - OKAY i get that i should pay more attention to the dinostar crumbs and all but all i feel rn is sympathy for kenji. hes been done wrong ENTIRELY in this scenario and just. man. - HTEY GOT BUMPY
episode 5: - aiaiai darius babY PLEASE - make them COMMUNICATE. PKEAFEEE - kenji calls ds mom more than he does whagthehellman - SAMS STILL CALLING YAZ AGHHH - OK THE TEARS IN HER EYES STOP IT - her and 'benjamin' bickering AHH - SHES SOOOO GIRLBOSS I LOVE LVOE HER - WTF THAT GUYS AN ASSHOLE?? - aaand THEYRE FREEING THE DINOS! - FHUCkin daniel kon - AHH THEYRE SO CUTESY - BEN SUSPECTING SAMMY. AND JUST SAMMY. WHAT THE FUCK - 'but i promise, I do trust you. now.' OOOHHHH MY SWEET SWEET DUDEEE. FUCK U - i get WHY i GUESSS, with his paranoia and all but thats an ASSHOLE move - daniel and kenji ermmbnbgvjsdk - HES TRYING TO MANIPULATE HIM AGAAAINN DUDE ITS GETTING BORING - w6AT. TF. KENJI - ooh the good ol dino chase!! - SAMMY BEING A GOOD FIGHTER AWHGHH - WFAH THAT SCARED ME - ok they made up!! - I KNEW THIS GUY WAS AWFUL - OKAYYYYY KENJ YESSS TALK ABOUT IT!!! FINALLYYYY COMMUNICATIONNNN - YESWSS AHDJFSN THEYRE TALKING - I LOVE THIS SO MUCH TEARS FLOWING DOWN MY CHEEKS AHFGDS - I HATE THIS FUCKING GUY AIGERG SDFJ - YES KENJI GO OFF BITCH!!!!!! - brooke… whatttth, - TF WAS SHE DOING - OH MY FUCKING GOD THE SCREAM I SCREAMT WHEN I SAW THIS DINOSAUR CONTROLLING PERSON NIGHTMARE FUCKING FUEL - WHAT THE FGUCK WHYS SHE SO UNCANNY VALLEY I LITTERALLY JUMPED AND MOVED AWAY IMMEDIATELY - oh he doesnt die :( - still WHO IS THAT?? - oh he does die :) - fr tho - KENJI POOR BABY IM SO SORRY. as if he didnt go through enough already.. - WHY TEHGFHBVCKJS OH WHO ARE U U EERIE FUCKIN - is kenj having a panic attack!!!! - BCFHSDKJFBJKDBFKJVX THEYRE SO CUFKING SCARY WHY ARE THEIR MOVEMENTS SO MECHANICAL - KENJI SAYING お父さん NOW I AM DDYING. I WILL NOT RECOVER.
episode 6: - SHITTTT YAZ'S HEREEE - ohhhh fuck shes dealing with A LOT - DARLING U OK??? - THE FLASHBACKS ARE TERRIFYING - shes so pretty!!!! - BROOKLYNN BITCH WHTWS FD - THEYRE SOOOOO CUTEEEEE - I LOVE HOW YAZS MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES HAVE BEEN AND STILL ARE PORTRAYED - I'm SO glad to see her dealing with everything and slowly getting over some of her trauma - ooh ok YAZ AND SAMMY - THEYRE SO HSGDIUF - okay so the solution to the problem is. TALK. its just. TALK TO EACH OTHER. - AWHH OK SHES NOT READY I SUPPOSEE - SHIT sam bb i get protecting the ones u love. but u shouldnt hide things from ur gf just so she doesnt feel bad. especially things so huge. - AND YAZ. babygirl. you shouldn't avoid your gf if shes doing something ure uncomfortable with. you shouldn't ignore her and make her feel bad abt it. YASAMY. THIS IS AN INTERVENSION. TALK TO EACH OTHER. ACTUALLY. PLEASE - ^ this is me showing how much im loving this storyline. VERY annoyed. love angst in fav ships. GOTTA HAVE SOME SPICE ONCE IN A WHILE I GET IT - ^^ but if they break up im killing myself - sammY PLEASEEFH DONT ASSUME JUST TALK. PTSD/MENTAL HEALTH IN GENERAL ISNT THAT SIMPLE - theyre both doing wrong things AND I JUST AGHHH -ALTHOUGHH when they finally DO communicate itll be SOO satysfying - EEEE HERE THEY AREEEEEEE - awkward. a little. BUT SWEET - OK NO I CHANGED MY MIND THEYRE SOOOO CUTEEEE - and ben and yazs friendship AGHGHHHG - therapy island. awh okayy!! - YAZS SO PASSIONATE I LOVE IT - 'ohohohhh… let me show u!… benny boy' - this is GOOD. it IS impressive!! - SAMMY STOP IT - YES YASMINA TALK ABOUT IT - I AM LOVING THIS OH MY GOD - JESUS CHRIST BEN - NAH WHAT THE FUCK - WHY. BENJAMIN. - yasammyyyyyy i love u to hell and back WHY R U LIKE THIS - ben&yaz bonding!!!! - YEAHHH SHES HAPPY FOR UUUU - THE BESTIESSSS - OH MY GOD THE FUCKING DINOSAURS ALWAYS RUIN EVERYTHING - ohhh this isnt good!!! - OHHKAY THE GUYS DEAD WHAT THE FUCK - jumping car scene count: 3 - 'big bens got moves' SHE SAID THE LINE - i feel like DPW is gonna play a bigger role in this - ^AND IM RIGHT. - WGAT THE FUCNK
episode 7: - OHKAY WHATS GOING ON - theyre up buttt….. what the hell r they gonna do. they either drown or get eaten by a dino. - YASAMMMYYYYY I MISSED U SO MUCH - AND THEYRE SPEAKING AND SHJOWING AND HFUDSI - okay KENJIS HABING A PANIC ATTACK I AM - quick break to say the mental health representation and how its done in this show is one of the best examples on how to portray mentally unwell characters I've seen lately - WTF DOES THIS GUY HAVE TO DO WITH THIS - bens soggy van is what ure complaining about rn guttierez??? - OK THE SCENE OF BS DEATH I CANT IM SOBBING - them both reaching for the phone ok. - THEYRE ALIVE, - YASAMMYS BACK OFFICIALLY PEOPLE I AM SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP - ben respectfully i love u but that van wouldve died of old age in a matter of a week - SHE HAD A PLACE - he finally got to throw them phones away - I AM SCREAMING OVER THESE YASAMMY MOMENTS IM AHGFSFJSV - 'oh i am so gonna hunt them from beyond the grave' yasmina fadoula will u marry me - oh right they dont have their phones so theyre not gonna be able to find each other - ok so if im picking up what theyre putting down correctly brooklynn was investigating illegall DPW dinosaur dropoffs?? - cant tell if kenjis coming to terms with it or being jealous - WHAT THE FUCK OK SHE EITHER GOT REALLY INTO THAT INVESTIGATING OR SHES ACTUALLY WENT CRAZY - ok this kenji sequence questioning scene was amazing
episode 8: - wgat the aHELL wr they doin - ok darius and kenji awkwardly connecting. good - ^and darius being protective around kenj over brooklynns phone since he left so many voicemails that he doesnt want him to hear? jesus christ man - OKAY my favourite little trio in a truck with a dinosaur chat do we think theyll survive this - tbh the amount of times in these kids lives where the probablity of survival was scary low is. er. sad - ^ not only for them cause of trauma and stuff but for the random bg characters - dude dies after seeing a dino ONCE but six random kids? yeah theyll survive DOZENS without help - quickly ill just say we need a name for the lesbians and their emotional support muscle wall. their dynamic is superb - the kenji and brooklynn video I LOVE THEM - BABYTALK - . POOKIE BEAR. KENJI WENJI. - shit fuckballs they're fighting again - darius. just. talk? - YES THIS IS GOOD TOO THIS IS GOOD - that CAN be a coping mechanism i GUESSS - what. who r u - DPW BOSS? - YEAH I THOUGHT THEYD FALL FOR THAT AGAIN THANK GOD - YOU WERE IN WHAT WITH WHO NOW - ^WHAT THHFSDN - ^^I WAS EXPECTING THIS HIGHKEY BUT STILL - ^^^ its good that he told kenji about this - ^^^^ and its GREAT that kenji's understanding - is this THE video??? - SHE IS WHAT NOW - maybe this is how they get to take these dinos away?? by pretending the dinos are dead in the face of the law?? - 'ooh heyyy!. boo.' I LOVE U GUYS - it IS the video. - OK BUT A LITTLE BIT LONGER - if i was in dariuses place i would NEVER recover - KENJI RESPECTFULLY DON;T - ^DONT BLAME HIM???? - please dont let this be the scary lady - YEAH KENJ ATLEAST URE RESPECTFUL - whats going on with bumpy. - YASAMMMY I WANNA INJECT U INTO MY VEINS - SHESAIDTHELINESHESAIDTHELINE - ^ 'wanna make a little chaos?' WHAT IF I DIE. WHAT IF I DIE YASMINA. WHAT THEN. - 'maybe. maybe not!!!!' BABIES?? - r the dinos drugged or controlled with the same method the inhumane ladys using - ^or are they tranqued out of their minds. idk. - OH SHIT? THEY SHOULDNT KILL AT THE WATERING HOLE guess it isnt really that is it - BENJAMIN NO
episode 9: - now SAMMYS anxiety's spiking - ok bens gonna not die hopefully?? - i love them stalking. the little creepers. hehe - BUMPER CARRR WHATS GOING ON - ^ is she drugged or smth :((( - ^^^maybe shes pregnant?? but idk idk i dont think so - ^^^^ fucking forshadowing - ^^^^^ i sincerely hope its more positive than im thinking - COMMUNICATION!!!!!!!! YESSSS!!! - theyre the cutest!!!! Yasammy charades level teamwork!!!!! - ok i love both the teams - kenji and darius sticking up for each other despite everything. DO THEY WANNA MAKE ME SUFFER - the kon puns im crying - KENJI HELPING DARIUS CLIMB IM SCREAMING - ok quick intermission i LOVE yazs design shes so cute - hndsgjkb JUST FIND EACH OTHER ALREADY - BENJAMIN CMON U GOTTA SAVE HER - 'Are you dying?' WHATRF ESDGUHKUFDGKJBFDXBFVGBUFIDCFGVBKJSDXBC K EFAHBUISDAGEBDBWAUISDFK - ^ NO - ^^ NO - ^^^ NOOOOOOO - WHATTTTTFDSDGJBMGDF - SHE CANT BE - ILL SOB MY EYES OUT I SWEAR TO GOD - BEN HIDING AND CRYING I - I FEEL U IM DOING THE SAME EXACT THING RN - OKAY THEY KNOW NOW - yaz&sammy&kenji&darius reunion1!!!!1! - ^ AND WHERES BEN - BUMPY. U STRONG STRONG WOMAN. I WANT U TO KNOW THAT IF U DIE. I WILL TOO. - IM GONNA KILL MYSLEF/.
(this i fear is where i realise that im going insane)
- CREEPY MICRO BANGS IS AN AMAZING NAME FOR UNCANNY VALLEY WOMAN YEAH - yeah atp i think weve all figured out its an illegal dino selling business - wGAT - yeah WTF WAS SHE DOING - 'no talk. come quick. bumpys dying.' IM FUCKING DYING TOO!!!!!!!! FUCK THIS SHIT OH MY GOD - BUMPER CAR DO NOT. PLEASE. DONT. - WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK I WAS RIGHT - ^ WTF WTF I - thats an egg. - DONT THINK ABOUT IT BUD.
episode 10: - these kids r so traumatised they do not need this - IS SHE RLY DEAD…. - ok so its two separate factors i think?? DPW on one side, creepy micro bangs on the other. right? - ^ this is delving DEEP into the mystery factor… - BEN WTF!!!!! DONT JUST??? DO THAT???????? - OMFG SHES HERE - ^ I HATE HER IHATEHERIHATEHER - SHES WHY THE DINOS R ACTING WEIRD - WHY IS SHE SO FUCKING UNCANNY I CANNOT - ^ SHES LIKEA CARNIVORE DINOSAUR IF IT WAS A HUMAN - ok so SHES the real boss. the unresponsive. wide eyed. controlling dinosaurs. microbangs. woman. - SWHE KILLED BROOKLYNN. - ^ WHAT THE FUCK. - im ngl i DID kinda dig her vibe but AFTER HEARING THIS I JUST CAngfijbdsuif FUCK U - who THE HELL - GET UR FREAKY ASS BOB AWAY - BRUH PUT THAT FUCKING WHISTLE DOWN - IM GOING TO HAVE NIGHTMARES OVER THIS LADY - WHAT THE - theyre way too lucky who the hell is driving that truck - i feel like atleast ONE of them shoulda got injured in that fall - OH MATEO!!!! HI BB - OOP CREEPY BANGS DEAD YIPPEE - AND THEYRE ALL GOING BAZONKAS?? BC SHES UNRESPONSIVE I PRESUME? - ALWAYS THE MFING RAPTORS - okay theyre definitely coca in the loca - WGAT TJR FJCUK EPIC EXPLOSION TYRANNOSAURUS REX - ^ R U SLASH J OR SRS RN - JESUS I LOVE THESE KIDs - where's yaz. - SAMMY!!! - 'Hey, Stripey! Leave. My girl. Alone!' YTHIS IS WHY I HATE THIS FUCKING SHOW /affectionate - AND THE ALMOST KISS HALF HUG IM KMS - WHY R THEY LIKE THIS - HES LETTING THE ALLOSAURUS OUT???? HUHHHHHHH - DARIUS BOWMAN. - IS HE - IS HE FUCKING - SERIOUS RN - jesus christ this BOY. this BOY man. - DIE - DDDDIIIIIEEEEEE - what tf!!!! the broker??? - we still dont know the creepy bangs name…. - so we're getting a 2nd season right - AWW YASAMMY SHOT - HWRFIUSDHGSFDKHAWVBSDXCZKJLGDHSFKLJGBJKESRDFJ - WHYSDHIFUJDIGVBDFS - WHEN I TELL U I JUMPED I MEAN I JJJUUUUMMMMPPPEEEEDDDD - THIS EERIE ASS BITCH KEEPS ON SHOWING UP WHEN I DONT EXPECT IT - DONT GET ME WRONG - PEAK CHARACTER DESIGN - AND THE LOOK ITSELF IS RLY CUTE AND ALL - BUT IF I SAW A BITCH THAT LOOKED AND BEHAVED LIKE THIS I WOULDVE SCREAMED MY INTESTINES OUT AND RAN ALL THE WAY TO AUSTRALIA - THE CREEPIEST CHARACTER IVE SEEN IN YEARS IM AFRAID - oh she still cares about her dinos!!! this makes her a little more human - a little less scary - ok - her movements r less mechanical more affectionate now - less hvfudignb BIGBFI SHE JUST TURNED - thank GOD shes gone - theyre me - 'well that was… unnerving' WELL SAID - YASAMMY HUG!! - YEAHHHH THE LOOK!! - the regular schmegular 'let's save the day' speech. we gotchu darius!! - GASPPP - ok so UNREQUITED dinostar - OH MY GHRHSIUDF THATS SO FUCKING SAD - DARIUS MY BABY I - YEAH!! SHOW UP!!!!! - ofc they are????? - it IS a very brooklynn thing to fo - you kon count him in too!!! - LMAO MATEO I LOVE YOU - YUP YUP BUMPER CAR NEEDS CARE AND SAFETY - IS THIS THE END??? - please give me atleast one more cryptic scene - OH SHES IN ON IT TOO?/BG - bgiudsfgtbfseruifdgkdfx - I FUCKING TOLDF U - I TOLD U ALL - I SAID IT FIRST - HGIUDFSOI;GT;ERASFOICXLBVNIPGRSD - SHE LOST AN ATM - SHES ALIVE - THIS IS WHAT IVE BEEN FUCKING TALKINHG ABOUT - TOLD U SHE COULDNT BE DEAD I MEAN. ITS BROOKLYNN.
(ok all in all. this was. an experience. gonna leave it at that and go take a nap)
#jwct spoilers#jurrassic world chaos theory#jwct#darius bowman#brooklyn jwcc#yasmina fadoula#sammy gutierrez#ben pincus#kenji kon#get ready for a bunch of analyses and all cause MAN#this hyperfixation will last for quite some time
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I'd love to read you breaking down Dimi/Rhealeth :)
Oh thats interesting, I'd love to do that. I will predominantly use she/her pronouns for Byleth just for ease, though I acknowledge that Rhealeth is a bi-ship for both Byleths.
Starting with Dimileth, its plain and simple, as a feminist and lesbian I just dislike the overall ship-dynamic of it, but I get the broader appeal of it. I mean, its basically a sizable portion of the contemporary published het-romance genre in a nutshell, you have a dangerous and unstable psychologically haunted men who hides a sweeter core and pair him with a kind and loving women who through self-sacrifice, selfless nuturing and tenderness fixes him and cures him of his ills. Its a super basic het dynamic and I personally really dislike it because of the very heteronormative, gendered patriachal dynamics involved in it, especially since the ship ingame strongly contextualizes Byleth as tender and fragile, in opposition to her characterization as a famed mercenary and powerful warrior.
I would argue that the ship is probably more favorable with Byleth as the PoV and Self-Insert character than the other way around, where it kind of can have incel-esque vibes and plays into issues of male entitlement towards a nuturing woman who acts as both a caretaker and a lover to a man. From a queer feminist standpoint, I dislike it either way, but there are individual pieces of fanart I can enjoy more than others, when they lean more into a physically strong and trained Byleth who appears as more of Dimitris equal. I guess I personally also get more behind it with Dimitris Post-Timeskip design in mind, which is one of the few male designs I find genuinly appealing, than with Pre-Timeskip Dimitri who is super bland in terms of personality and design for the most part. When I want to mock it, I call it 50 Shades of Fire Emblem, but I think there is not much more that needs to be said about the ship and my feelings on it.
I'm actually more fond of it when it involves Male Byleth being paired with Dimitri. I'm usually really not invested into m/m ships, being a near exclusive w/w shipper myself, but I think its a good example of how even with genderblind writing, a narrative can't really escape strong contextual and subtextual differences due to changing gendered dynamics, explicitely in a game like 3 Houses, that has at least implicitely alot to say about gender. There is also the difference between vibes in F!Byleth and M!Byleth, M!Byleth coming off as much more serious and reserved in comparison. I think this really helps to recontextualize the scenes between M!Byleth and Dimitri and the potential ship dynamic, there being more of an element of tenderness and nuture that M!Byleth displays despite his more reserved vibes which I prefer, similar to me liking the dynamic between F!Byleth and Edelgard much more, because I think this social Awkwardness and kinda autistic vibes f!Byleth has match well with Edelgards openness and interest in her. For a while I was more in the camp of wishing Claude was also bisexual and viewing Dimitri from a more unfavorable cishet perspective, but I think nowadays, if I could only one of those two romancable by both Byleths, I would go for Dimitri, especially since I think that with the culture of Faerghus in mind, there are some interesting headcanons for queer Dimitri. I recently saw an interpretation of Dimitri as transmasc in the Edelgard server lol and that was one that really captivated me, so Transmasc Dimitri x M!Byleth would be a ship I really would find interesting and I kinda grew on the idea of both Byleths being present and f!Byleth going with Edelgard and m!Byleth going with Dimitri, lol.
When it comes to Rhealeth, I think I have less to say about those two. I really personally don't feel it and I think the ship is just too inheritly problematic for me to enjoy. It is another ship that is canonically Bi, but I personally really dislike both variants of it. I think with the entire context in mind, there is a very uncomfortable vibe between Byleth and Rhea in their supports and it reads strongly as grooming and lovebombing, especially since Rhea doesn't seem exactly interested in Byleth as a person, but more in them in relation to being the child of people she was close to and her being the vessel of Sothis. The former already makes she ship kinda yikes, because there is a clear incestious element in it all that goes far beyond even Fates Step-Sibling kink. For all intents and purposes, Rhea is Byleths grandmother. She created Sitri, raised her and openly expresses that she viewed her as a daughter, while also being close to Jeralt since he was a young man or outright boy. Her ending up marrying their child, who she helped to deliver, is really messed up on a level where its just plain problematic and I don'T see much room in looking past it or viewing this as something romantic.
Then there is the fact that Rheas behavior if you chose Crimson Flower puts into question how sincere she is during all of their supports. Edelgard and Byleth also can end up in opposing sides of the war and fight each other, thats sure, but Edelgard still never expresses outright hatred or malice towards Byleth, she always treats her with respect and adoration, them fighting because they chose different sides in a war. With Rhea its very different, its an immediate snap into outright malice and dehumanization in a way that is very ugly and uncomfortable. At best thats outright toxic and unstable BPD behavior, to immediately dehumanize and devalue every aspect of a person because you feel rejected. I saw people here actually encourage and support this kind of behavior, which is a massive red flag on those people for me. At worst, its basically just Rhea spending the first part of the game purely lovebombing her and when Byleth doesn't conform, she expresses immediate malice.
I think it can be interesting potentially, but not in this romanticized way people on this website would probably advocate for it. Rhea has strong groomer and cultleader vibes, her behavior towards Byleth is a good example of grooming and the same can be extented to everyone else she is in close contact with, who isn't an actual Nabathean. People get enarmored alot with her motherly, benevolent persona, but I always felt like it comes off as more uncomfortable, very superficial, very thin. And in the end, with her behavior in CF also taken into mind because as much as ArchFireemblem and his Tradcath gang want to deny it, its also part of Rheas canonical characterization, She comes off as an unstable womanchild who does play at the motherly figure, emulating t his flat and infantile idealized and flawed vision of Sothis she has constructed in her head, which just does not exist.
In this vein, I think Rhealeth can be interesting in the way Makima/Denji from Chainsaw Man is fascinating and one of the most captivating and gutwrenching toxic relationships in contemporary media, as an analysis of a toxic and abusive relationship in which a powerful and mentally juvenile older woman grooms and manipulaties a socially isolated and impressionable younger woman she has a high level of power over into fulfilling her needs and constructing them into an idealized vision of an entirely different person.
So yeah, thats it. I think ultimately I'm really much more favorable and positive about Dimileth, even Het!Dimileth, than I'm to either version of Rhealeth. With Dimileth, I get the appeal and I can see how it is just a very popular and common fantasy which I personally dislike. With Rhealeth on the other hand, I just really can't see it in any other way but a very abusive and toxic instance of grooming and so far I personally found the kinds of people to whom that ship would appeal so far to be more than uncomfortable, which isn't necessarily my experience with Dimileth.
And hey, on the offchance that somebody reads this and gets Trans!Dimitri as a headcanon out of it, no matter with what kind of ship, just hit me up, I'm happy to read it.
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arcane s2 act 1 thoughts
getting my impressions down before act 2 so i can remember how things felt at this point in time before everything gets blasted open :)
aughghhhhjjjjjjjjhhhhj
above all: it’s exciting to watch a show that’s technically incredible also be so tight in terms of writing, where you trust it enough to really immerse yourself w/o reservation. and moreso it’s so nice to be trusted to do some work as a viewer, interpret the ambiguities instead of being force-fed all the beats. and to have something so detail rich, dense and deftly constructed that you can mine it endlessly (as someone who’s seen s1 10-ish times lol)
they are packing so much story into these episodes compared to s1 act 1 and i won't be able to imagine all this tied up in 6 more eps until i see it - i wonder how it would feel as a slower paced show
the loungewear and rose petals really give the new opening a boudoir vibe. grateful!
no scene scratched my id like viktor leaving jayce — his open acknowledgement of their divergence (in those words no less) and the fact of their partnership being dead from the beginning
^for me the core of the story has long been what i call the two JV divergence arcs
relatedly, viktor in the black hood has there ever been a lük more instantly iconic. he has a STAGGERING face card. i look forward to further jayvik divorce proceedings but want him to meet the other undercity protags so bad, he seems poised to take on a similar role in the Cause as jinx
i really loved the opening scene between mel and jayce. it seems mel shielded him. i got tingly at her drawing the line at weaponising hextech and reaffirming her commitment to jayce and viktor's vision. their hextech dream, #ot3, # heres how meljayvik can still win!!!
the fight choreo, music, stylistic choices and just the marriage of form and content still feel thrilling. fortiche i am once again kissing your feet, vive la france
i dig this caitlyn arc. in s1 she didn’t quite pass muster against the rest of the cast bc it felt like the degree of naïveté needed to keep her as pure as it seemed they wanted her, was a hard sell in an ostensibly smart and capable character, in an ensemble where everyone else felt like much more textured products of their circumstances. i always thought that instead of the noble oblivious thing it would’ve been more seamless and meaningful if she’d been conscious but ambivalent about all the gross injustice, only digging deeper once it became personal via vi
and now!! feeling gratified bc i think they’re doing that arc, just in reverse: as soon as it becomes personal in the other direction, you see that her grip on the bigger picture is conditional and easily blinkered. it emphasises her previous passion about justice for zaun as deriving partly from the self-righteousness that's also an underacknowledged effect of privilege, instead of simple empathy. (plus the fairweather allyship is… a very resonant theme lmao and quite cool to see it depicted how the correct nudge, a taste of what the system deals out to others, will make the most earnest of listeners-and-learners retreat to their worst biases about the 'other'. the protofascist seed in every member of a cozy ruling class. honestly one of their most excellent writing choices)
i think cait hit vi on that stab wound from sevika which surely cannot have fully healed yet. ouch
absolutely loving jinx and sevika in the post-silco world, they are getting to come into their own in terms of motivations. absolutely obsessed with the smeech fight heheee
i can’t tell if jinx is doing better or worse. something soothing about the suicidal clarity though i don’t think her passivity is new—in s1 she was incredibly perceptive about what she was to silco but sort of resigned to it, so it's kinda exciting where she could go without his tether even though i miss silco sooooo much. i wonder if being in her Older Sibling Era (and vi being in her Abandoned Era) will help jinx and vi connect (🚨wishful thinking🚨, but somebody should write it)
“im glad it’s you / had to be you” has made me ILL since hearing it in that one teaser and now that it’s in context i might just throw up i cannot believeee we get a sister dynamic like this
vi rock bottom🤗 i couldn’t decide if she legit felt jinx was beyond the pale or did a hard swerve putting all her eggs in cait's basket, trying to bifurcate powder and jinx for the sake of, i guess, emotional self-preservation, with the notion of powder that had sustained her fully extinguished. love a protag so earthy and intense while being an unmitigated flop before the fateful tide of the story, and in that way she’s still very dean winchester-coded. also in that i want to see her bloody and crying, though at this point one win might be a relief
ambessa fox mode let’s goooo! i am curious if/when she’ll slip which i think could come down to something explosive with mel (🤞) or caitlyn realising she manipulated her in her griefblind state
idk if it just needs time or if it’s the unfillable silco-shaped hole, but so far the dialogue this season isn’t as sticky ?? (compared with s1 where they didn’t waste a word). but at least everyone’s hotter
i like heimerdinger more now that he’s ekko’s pet. i like jayce and ekko meeting lifetimes after “he didn’t even haggle”: they are just drinking tea and investigating the arcane not even realising their semi-interaction precipitated the instigating tragedy of Arcane. the world would never be the same. i hope they survive what may or may not be the time warp intact D:
the “it’s not supposed to be like that” with sevika and jinx and the bombs what is going on??? 👀👀
i'm glad theyre releasing this right in time to carry me through the winter. seasonal depression out, seasonal hyperfixation in
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hope u r feeling better soon. what are your favorite fics? also, what's your writing process?
wahh thank you !! i'm feeling mostly better already :D and thank you for the ask !!
in terms of favorite fics hmmm i have quite a few but i'll limit myself a bit. recently i made some of my bookmarks public on my ao3 tho so you could go check those out too !!
if you're chill w graphic cannibalism, i definitely recommend before i begin to enjoy the metallic taste by @flowingredscale. i loveee the descriptions, so well written
on the opposite side, katawaredoki by @sanguineerose is very soft and lovely. feels like warm sun coming through the window. i've also been keeping up with their multichapter fic you give me so many butterflies. cat sukuna, down bad yuuji, parental stsg...love.
about the mugs by @xx-juju is one of my all time favs too its so skjfgdj
and finally, the classic here and where you are by cityboys. genuinely if i'm feeling very pent up and just need to force myself to let it out, i read this. gets me every single time.
in terms of my writing process i can identify a pretty solid pattern at this point.
get new idea. usually comes to me as a vision from the gods
run to discord to tell the bestie @melloneah about my new idea. actually for a while i was very secretive abt my ideas/writing process but now i share a lot of my new thoughts w them and its vital to my creative process
outline the fic. ik some ppl just write w their heart but i Cannot. sometimes things get added as i'm writing or they shift around, but i think it helps w keeping things connected and well-paced if i know ahead of time what will happen.
just start writing. i always write in chronological order bc it also helps w keeping things connected and well-paced, especially if i end up changing something as i write
obligatory panic stage. this is actually a new thing for me where im like. done w my fic and i'm getting ready to share it and then all of a sudden i freak out and end up postponing posting it. very frustrating and i hate it
editing/proofreading. i used to edit like. minimum of 3 times before posting but idk recently i've been doing this less. my main proofreading/editing is right before i post the fic/chapter. i find that if i do it at any other point im mostly just skimming and not paying attention. i need the urgency of "okay this is the final version"
that's kinda it. i feel like it's not that special but idk 😭😭😭😭 like the words just get in the doc idk how
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i dont have much to report on weight wise, as i havent weighed myself since thursday, because i've been drinking alcohol and therefore i am retaining water
i can feel how i am all swelled up rn - my rings feel tighter than normally. i'll weigh myself again once the water retention goes down
but, ofc, i have even more stuff about my whole ✨love life situation✨
i am seeing my bf tomorrow, and i will tell him that i dont think our relationship is going that greatly, and then i'll take it from there. i dont really like to think too much about it, but i also feel more at peace w it - and i think my lil crush is a huge part of that. i really dont need anyone to tell me that i'm a horrible person - i am truly doing my best, both in terms of navigating my feelings and my relationship and my mental health. i'm really not in a good place right now, but at least i can kinda pretend, that my troublesome feelings are some fun new drama that i can share w my friends (you guys teehee)
if you don't care about my love life drama, then its totally ok. if you are, you're in for a treat (maybe idk)
lets call my crush-situation W
aight, so W and i talked all night thursday, and i have quite a lot to report about that night, and then a little about last night
my friend started talking about one time i had a ons w one of my friends, like 3 years ago, and i was quite embarrassed to talk about it. but the others laughed and idk, i figured it was fine. W switched between not laughing at all, just looking down at the table, and then awkwardly laughing a bit while looking at me, and then the table. i dont know what that means??? just as the conversation ended he was like "do u wanna go for a smoke" and then we went outside, and talked about other things.
we had been drinking and joking all night, and he decided to tell some group of girls sitting in the bar, that he and i are childhood friends (big lie, i've known him since summer). and i was like "aight, whatever" and then he lied and told them that i had written him tons of love letters when we were children. and i just laughed and lied and said "yeah haha, i was totally in love with you". when we left the bar, like 2 hours later, and we were all alone, i teased him about something we told the group of girls, and then he was like "yeah yeah whatever, i know that you'll just send me another love letter. you're like tooootally into me hahaha" and i was like "oh yeah, haha, totally. u got me" while walking away and laughing. i might just be fucking overthinking everything but also... why lie about writing love letters? there are much more embarrassing things (for me) he could've said. idk, help me
he texted his girlfriend throughout the night (i think) but looked quite annoyed/not happy whenever he did, and at some point he left the table for like 15 minutes (probably to talk to her). idk
he kept touching my stuff. like my cigarettes and my lighter, he would just sit with them and play with them. i found it quite cute, idk
OKAY, and then to last night (friday) i was in another bar last night, helping out, 'cause i kinda work there (ish, like, volunteer-work) and W was supposed to have a shift later in the evening
he calls me to tell me that he will be running late, 'cause he was at an event, and shit hit the fan, idk. then he asked me if i could cover for him, and i said that i for sure could cover for him. we only talked for 1,5 minute, but idk. my fucking hands went sweaty and i couldn't stand still. i don't think i've ever picked up that fast. uuuughhhhh i feel so weird. whatever
he showed up like 1,5 hours too late (but it was ok, 'cause there really wasn't much to going on), and went directly out to find me (i was smoking) to hug me and apologize for coming so late. then i kept feeling his eyes on me, and i could hear him mention my name a lot of the night
we ended up doing some cleanup together afterwards, and it was just... really nice. we have such a good time whenever we're together and i feel so comfortable around him. except for the part where i keep thinking about how hot i think he is and how want to give him a big old smooch. i had hoped to talk to him some more, but we both went home when cleanup was done, and idk. its fine
i have not been able to keep him out of my head all day. its truly torturous
#thinspø#⭐️ve#amy’s ⭐️ving adventure#eedee tumblr#eedeetwt#amy ranting#i will reach my ugw#low cal restriction#eedee#th!n$piration
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Hello Dar! 🦢 nonnie is back and I hope you've been doing well! ^^
Something I've been thinking about for a while now is your style of writing. I feel like in your writing you frame even the smallest detail as if it's the most important thing in the world. It always feels very poetic/romantic even if that's not necessarily what the scene is about. So I was wondering where you got this writing style from? Since I've personally never read anything quite like yours before. Or just in general what inspires you to write?
-Yours truly, 🦢
hii swan nonnie🥺🩷 it's always, always a pleasure to have you back, i hope you've been well too🥰 lately my health hasn't been the greatest, but aside from that, i've been doing okay!! thank you for asking👉👈
bc my response got a bit long, i'll put it under a cut so i'm not clogging up anyone's dash🤧
first of all, i'm genuinely flattered you've even been thinking of my writing actually, that means so much to me😭💕 ig if i had to explain how my style came to be, it would have smth to do w/ writing more for myself rather than for others? when i was younger, i had this mentality that i had to follow all the rules in order to make a good piece, so i was constantly restricting my creativity by sticking to advice like 'show-don't-tell' or 'leave it up to the reader's imagination' and stuff along those lines. but somewhere along the way, i kinda realised that in doing so, i was starting to hate what i created.
after that, i just tried my hardest to write what i'd wanna read personally, in a style that was compelling to me. i mean, i still have my insecurities, sometimes i think wow, i really did not need to waffle that much, but at the end of the day, it still feels more fulfilling. even if something is considered 'wrong' by professional standards, my only long-term judge is myself at the end of the day. so i try to focus less on what's been done before, and more on what i would like to do (which is the reason why i still put spaces between my em dashes when ik that technically you're not supposed to haha)
as for the prose itself, i just write like that bc that's how my thought process works😭💔 like, i'm colourblind, so i have a habit of trying to understand the implications a colour can have rather than the actual colour itself, right? and that type of magnification can be applied to everything else when i put words down. looking at the smaller aspects that build the bigger picture, and then how much of an influence it can have on the scene i'm trying to portray, smth along those lines.
another thing is that, i believe throughout my time writing, most of my works have been angst and imo the smallest details really do feel like the most important thing in the world when viewed through a negative lens so maybe i picked it up from there and rolled w/ it for everything else🤧 the real cause is kinda hard to pin-point somehow
to answer your second question, if you asked me in the past what inspired me to write, i'd probably say smth like 'having a story to tell'. now though, the only thing keeping me doing this is that i genuinely really just like piecing words together in as many different ways as possible. it kinda feels like solving a puzzle so it's super satisfying🥰
ALSO THANK YOU FOR SAYING IT FEELS POETIC/ROMANTIC😭😭 i've always kinda worried that my writing feels too stiff, so hearing that makes me really happy, i really appreciate it swan nonnie😩💕 and you saying that you've not come across something similar before feels like a really sweet compliment too❗❗
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*succinct & eloquent opening line. maybe a clever joke or quote* :D
do you ever sit there and contemplate your life choices after like a certain experience or a talk with a loved one?
do you ever come across a quote or a piece that seems like it was written for you in this particular moment in time? an anecdote that mirrors your current situation perhaps?
well im currently going through it & after a double whammy of mama lore TM during some resurfacing anxious & assorted crises, i dont even know what im going through anymore. but we shared a really sweet heart to heart and reminisced over good and less good times aw!
i am reminded that there is still much to life, light to be sought and found, good times yet to be had. its bittersweet. its mature. its scary? its like coming to terms with your mortality but on a smaller scale. or bigger whos to say...
i wont be venting anything, i think for now at least im content to vague post lmao. also my dad bought me some stress eating treats so i might need to go wallow in my feels for a bit
after i jinxed myself by saying im going on hiatus but failing to stay off the website lol (i had moot withdrawl symptoms sue me), i wont be repeating the same mistake, but with context clues i trust u can see where im going with this
it might sound presumptious to state so confidently that this next month of my life will be the hardest in my career, especially since im not even half way there yet, but the truth of the matter is that it is.
ive been struggling for well over a year now (mostly academically) and im both succeeding in places i didnt before (alhamdulillah!) but failing in the exact same places elsewhere. guys i may have anxiety lol
self fulfilling prophecies, nocebo effect, whatever it is & regardless of what you want to call it, its rough. its hard. im tired. theres still so much left and im tired. i shouldnt be this tired. or this empty. or careless. what have i let myself become? why am i punishing myself still?
this coming month will dictate the rest of my future and ill have no one to blame but myself if i let the opportunity slip through my fingers. but if all goes well inshallah i can put this all behind me and start anew so theres that silver lining :D
i kinda lost direction of this post about half an hour ago lol. my point is im going to try harder at balancing several life aspects bc i really cant put it off any more. i need to establish balance because ive been out of the loop for too long now. *shudders in python*
anyways there are plenty of things i have to work on, both in my studies and life, so i have that going for me *party kazoo noises*
id love to grace you all with some wise words or a life lesson or something but i dont have a neat one liner to sum up anything. despite that im writing this because sometimes letting thoughts float in my head isnt enough, i need to articulate and write it out because to let them roam in the vast expanses of my mind under the pretense that i achieved something is frankly silly as it is counterproductive.
a n y w a y , to anyone and everyone reading take care of yourselves and your loved ones. i wish everyone the best in life and in their endeavours. i will probably pop back in every now and again to catch up on messages and make sure everyone is alive and nothing burned down. i will however attempt to exert self control. (key word: attempt)
aight imma head out before i get too emotional or combust with the need to say something stupid like i love you be more unserious XD
#*thoughtful and anecdotal tags*#anyways lol#wake me up when september ends#tldr im getting my shit together hopefully#shout out to my parents for loving me when i disowned myself lmao#i love you very much :')#was extremely tempted to make up a proverb/ metaphor the way parents do when teaching u a life lesson lol#personal post#ish#unserious post#vent post esque#eh whatever#its a bit all over the place but hey so am i ;)#anyway farewell#barely proofread#we die like my procrastination starting tomorrow#heh geddit
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kara how am i supposed to choose just ONE fic to ask about???? need more of bartylily library and sybilily lighthouse fic please any crumbs you wanna give me.
hello my beautiful langel (bringing this into common parlance i'm sorry) i would be delighted to offer you an entire feast but i haven't been writing much of anything recently so i fear crumbs might be an entirely accurate term...
firstly bartylily library!! my special darlings!! i have a little snippet for you that i've just cooked up, fresh out of the oven of my brain:
Lily follows Madam Pince out of the back room, forcefully resisting the urge to turn and look at Barty again, she’s sure he’s just grinning his maddening grin, with all his horribly perfect teeth, at her back anyway. When they get to the front desk, Madam Pince gives her a serious look, which isn’t all that different from her usual look but still can’t mean anything good. “Now Lily, I wanted to talk to you about Barty.” Spectacular. “I know he might be a little… difficult, but he’s had a bit of a rough go of things and could really use a good influence like you.” she continues, before lowering her voice as if she’s about to impart some sensitive information. Lily leans forward a little, intrigued despite herself. “He’s been placed here for his community service,” she pronounces the words ‘community service’ carefully, like they might bite her if she isn’t careful, giving Lily a meaningful look, “and he’s a bit… troubled, but really he’s very charming, so sweet. He could just do with a bit of a guiding hand and I think you could really help him, Lily.” Right. She should probably have seen this coming - she's been a ‘wonderful role model’ to every teacher at every parents’ evening since primary school. She should’ve known that this would extend to the library too - it isn't exactly far removed from her school career or the wish to please her parents. She’s been hoping for simplicity and stability, something easy in the way the library has always been for her, and Barty is throwing a spanner in the works with all his… complication. But Lily knows how to be a role model, a ‘guiding hand’ as Madam Pince had put it, she knows the behaviour she should be emulating and encouraging, this isn’t the first time she’s been asked to do something like this. Maybe it’ll be straightforward with Barty, maybe she can gently guide him into being less of a bothersome twat and neatly smooth out the wrinkles that she had been worrying he might produce in her vision of this holiday. Maybe she can still have her sanctuary, she’ll just have to tidy it up a bit first, she’ll just have to fix this aberration. She can still be hopeful. Ish. Lily smiles down at Madam Pince, trying to make it reassuring, sincere, “Oh, I had no idea! Of course, I’d be happy to help. I’ll keep an eye on him, Madam Pince, don’t worry.” “Wonderful, I knew I could count on you, Lily sweetheart,” Madam Pince replies, her frown easing a little, as close as Lily ever sees her to a smile (and yet she’d been giggling with Barty earlier - giggling).
as you can see, we're still on literally the first day. but i think about all the time and miss them constantly and think maybe i should drop out of uni and spend all my time writing them <3
and then sybillily lighthouse!!! this fic has been driving me insaaaaaane for the last like two months and i still haven't written a word of it asdjkfhj but i can offer you. an image. a joyous and fun image:
it's like. an extension of how kinda cyclical the narrative is in the fic w the two of them both ending the fic in similar positions to the start (well. worse positions but like. particularly for sybill. she's basically just reverted to and further intensified the way she was living at the start, being so entirely wrapped up in the lighthouse etc etc) so i decided that i want the fic to start with lily knocking on the door of the lighthouse… she's been wandering around the island, exploring and curious and she wants to know more about the lighthouse so she's knocking on the door and sybill is opening it and this is where we begin <3 and then. similarly. or conversely. i want the fic to end w lily literally pounding on the door, shouting at sybill to open it, to come out and speak to her or at least let her in, hitting at the door till her hands are bleeding and her voice is hoarse but sybill doesn't open the door <3
anyway hope this is satisfactory <3 love you thank you for asking me!!!!!
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