#⤷ rel. / john sheppard.

[platypusisnotonfire]

I had a dream last night that Jason momoa was at my house because he knew all my cousins of which there was like ten of them living with me, but they didn’t like me very much, and they were all going somewhere but they always made Jason momoa wait for a long time while they were getting ready (this happened multiple times) and in the meantime he was teaching me to fight with a trident

Important to note this wasn’t Jason momoa: actor, this was Jason momoa: aquaman

[bagheerita]

"Circumvolution" chapter 8a

Here is the first part of “Circumvolution” chapter 8. Links:

The my name forevermore series in entirety

Chapter 7a on tumblr

Read “Circumvolution” from the beginning on AO3

This chapter makes reference to the naming conventions used in the Legacy books. Some readers find Todd’s name as given in those books offensive, so I am providing a version of the chapter here that instead makes use of @adriankyte-writes’s own “translation” of Todd’s name. (With permission, and thanks!)

Please click the readmore if you are interested, or use the links above to navigate to different parts of the story/series. (This chapter is slightly shorter than chapter 7, at only 15 pages lmao)

8 (Legacy)

Before Todd opens his eyes, he can smell water.

He blinks his eyes open to find he is on Atlantis, standing at the railing of a balcony, looking out at the ocean. He is some ways up one of the city's towers; he can see parts of the city beneath him, and the rippling water is far away. He turns to look around. The balcony is decently large, and behind him are living quarters. It is a room with functional, unadorned furniture– bed with mussed sheets only superficially neatened, desk piled with Lantean technology– and there are pieces of clothing, both familiar Wraith garments and the Lanteans uniform, and other items discarded or piled around the space hiding chairs and other furniture. He is alone, but he is unbound and unwatched, so he doesn't believe it too outrageous a hope to think that should the outer door to the room open, it will admit Sheppard.

Todd steps into the room. Draped over the chair nearest the window is his coat, that he hadn't yet noticed he wasn't wearing. He touches a finger to his right hand; it is again bare of any marking, but he sees part of a series of symbols written down the outside of his left arm. There are two doorways to the room, one of which leads to a washroom and he goes into it to read the entirety of what is marked on his arm, up to his shoulder, in the mirror there. It says For the ones who fought death, which he assumes is some sort of allusion to an event that in this world makes sense. Todd glances to the side; the washroom is equipped with a large bathing pool, which he understands is not common to the Lantean rooms in the city. He frowns and steps back out into the main room. This is not Sheppard's room. It is the wrong tower. And the man in the black coat does not look down on him from the wall. Perhaps this is his room, that he shares with Sheppard? Todd reaches for one of the discarded shirts on the floor and raises it to his face.

As he does so, he looks up and sees a framed photograph sitting on a shelf. It is a photograph of a woman with curling blonde hair and though he has never before seen her, Todd knows who she is, even as the shirt he inhales smells strongly of McKay. He smells echoes of all of Sheppard's team in this room, but this is McKay's shirt. And McKay's sister in the photograph, the relationship obvious in her features. This is McKay's room. But why is Todd here? Is this another world where they have needed to keep him from Sheppard because Sheppard is being watched? Todd can feel hive approaching his location and he hopes his questions will soon be answered. The Wraith he senses is not familiar to him, but there is an echo of familiarity. Perhaps a relative of someone he knows.

The door opens to admit McKay. "Well, he went for it," he says, talking as soon as the door opens, and continuing as it shuts behind him, gesturing with his hands and pacing the open area of the room near the door. "But I have to say that I really don't think this is going to work. I don't know why I'm telling you, it was Teyla's idea. I mean, I would really love it if it did work but I don't think she really appreciates how stubborn John can-" He comes to a sudden, sharp halt, and stares at Todd.

It is the first time he has been still, and Todd is astonished to realize that Rodney McKay is the Wraith he sensed approaching. The man's hair is pale white, and his blue eyes are slit-pupiled as they examine Todd. His skin looks more Wraith than human as well, pale with prominent veins, though less prominent than a true Wraith.

McKay's right hand clenches as Todd stares at him, and he steps back. What? he asks. Why are you staring? He raises his left hand to his hair and then looks down at his uniform as he says, mental voice thick with rue, Serve me right if I put my shirt on backwards and John only agreed because he was secretly laughing. But there is nothing wrong with his appearance, and he looks back at Todd.

Todd shakes his head. Forgive me, he says. But I am not who you think I am.

McKay frowns. What are you talking about? He takes off his expedition jacket and drops it on the corner of the bed. "I know you weren't excited about this, but it's set and you're not backing out now." His voice gains an edge of firmness.

"Have I been unwilling to meet with Sheppard previously?" Todd wonders. What a strange world, where Rodney McKay appears as a Wraith and he desires distance from Sheppard.

McKay frowns at him. "I'm too wound up to deal with this," he announces. "Teyla was very specific about it being the four of us and you're going."

Todd huffs. I do not dispute that, McKay.

McKay, having gone around the bed to retrieve the tablet from the bedside table, halts and looks up at him, surprised. His eyes narrow. "Vanguard?"

I am not who you think I am, Todd repeats. He can feel McKay's sudden distress and he assures, I will not harm you, and he will return, soon. Most likely in time so that you can still drag him before Sheppard. He spreads his left hand and steps forward. He does not wish for hive to be troubled, and he is growing more and more intrigued by the idea of McKay as being hive.

"What is going on?" McKay demands.

"I am myself, but from another reality," Todd tells him. "Something happened that has taken me from my home and sent me across several other realities, placing my conscious mind in the body of myself in that reality, and, I believe, displacing the consciousness that should be here and sending them to my own reality."

"Huh." McKay looks surprised, but he has lost the wariness that had clouded his features momentarily and he observes, I thought you felt a little different, but I thought it was because you were going to try to pretend to be sick or something. But... you never call me 'McKay.' Not when you're... he makes a gesture that Todd interprets as indicating the mindspeech.

McKay had addressed him as Vanguard. If they met and, as the shared room implies, became intimate while McKay was a Wraith, then it follows that when speaking to him in the Wraith way "Vanguard" would call him by a Wraith name derived from the feel of his mind. Todd tilts his head, eyes half closed as he tastes McKay's mind. Quick-silver? he queries.

McKay flushes and looks down. "Actually, don't call me that. It's weird, with you not being you." He steps back but stops himself. "This is all weird," he confesses. "How is this happening? I mean it sounds like a short range field. They must have marked you somehow to make sure the device affected you. Though I've never heard of technology that can do that.” He scowls. “You didn't touch an Ancient communication stone did you?” He waves his left hand. “That doesn't work across realities… that we know of.  Anyway, it’s definitely not caused by anything here; the kind of matter bridge that would need to be established for an exchange of consciousnesses would create a massive energy disturbance, but," he gestures to the quiet around them, "no one's calling me, which they still tend to do when things go crazy, even after everything." He makes a face and begins pacing again, his arms hugged tight to his torso.

Todd sighs. He goes over to McKay and reaches for the man with his left hand, halting his erratic movements. He curls his arm around McKay, pulling him closer. "It is beyond your ability to influence. Tell me what bothers you."

McKay pulls away. "You're not-"

"In my world I am known as 'Todd,'" Todd tells him.

McKay makes a disgusted face, revealing the pointed tips of his teeth. "Really?"

He sounds so unimpressed that Todd laughs. "Yes," Todd affirms. "Circumstances occurred such that the name was a solace to me in a time when I had nothing else, and so it became precious to me." Their relations seem strained here, so Todd hesitates before adding, "As did the one who gave it to me."

McKay makes an inexpressible noise and pulls away. "It figures."

Todd reaches for him and, lightly, pulls him back. He trails his left hand over McKay's shoulder and reaches up to stroke the back of his neck. "Tell me what has happened in your reality."

McKay shivers. "Well, as you can see," he says but doesn't elaborate. "And Sheppard's been mad at me ever since I maybe accidentally shot him while he was trying to rescue me. Because, um, I couldn't remember who he was."

Todd fills in the blanks himself. "You were taken." McKay tries to pull away again, but Todd leans their foreheads together and hums comfortingly. "And they... changed you to make you Wraith." Todd tries to think about why this might have happened– was McKay the only one they could get to? But no, Todd has worked beside him enough times to know that McKay is brilliant. "They wanted your mind, to turn you against Atlantis." He preempts McKay's attempt to pull away and hide from this information by tucking the man's head against his chest and letting him hide there. Todd strokes his fingers through McKay's short hair and over the breadth of his shoulders. "But you did remember your true self," Todd continues. "Did I assist? Is that how we came together?"

"There was a queen who called herself Death," McKay murmurs, his voice muffled in Todd's shirt but his words still clear. "She took me, but you were pretending to work with her and feeding John information, and you..." McKay flushes, but Todd can feel the man's admiration and affection for him. McKay clears his throat and tries to pull away again. "And we, um, worked on some things together."

"McKay," Todd admonishes him. I may not be the one whom you wish, but I am still hive to you. You need not withdraw from me. Allow me to comfort you.

McKay scoffs, but does relax into Todd's embrace. I'm sure Sheppard would love this, he mutters mentally, clarifying that he is referring to Todd's Sheppard.

I have been through many realities this day. I will settle accounts with Sheppard when I return, as to the many times I gave and received comfort. He does not mention that it is likely the smallest thing he will need to account for.

McKay nods against his chest and relaxes further. I can tell Teyla I tried her suggestion, but that John didn't go for it, he suggests. And we can just stay here.

Todd chuckles. He tucks his face alongside McKay's, humming softly. The man's mind flickers like tumbling water in sunlight, always thinking of something else. I'm certain you have already determined that Sheppard will tell her otherwise, and that there is little to be gained from this deception.

McKay sighs. He leans back, looking away. "I think he hates me," he confesses. He opens his right hand and looks down at the feeding organ in his palm as he mutters, "I wouldn't blame him."

"McKay," Todd chides him. "I sincerely doubt Sheppard hates you."

McKay squints at him sideways. "See, I can tell you. Vanguard would just agree and say we should go back to the hive. Actually," he amends, "he's not really happy about Alabaster running things, and having to defer to her. So maybe he wouldn't say that."

Todd assumes from that context that "Alabaster" is a queen, and agrees, "I am not particularly fond of deferring to queens. Perhaps our opinions are not so different?"

McKay snorts. He paces nervously over to get the tablet, and Todd lets him go. "I can't believe you and Sheppard," McKay mutters. "How did that happen?"

Todd is much more interested in how he and McKay came together, though he knows himself enough to see how encountering the man as a Wraith and the tie of hivesense that would have developed would have made the former human irresistible. And if he had been deceiving a queen, the potential of stealing McKay- Quicksilver­- back from her to use for his own plans, only to have the human get under his skin in a most pleasant way is also understandable. "Perhaps the opposite of what has happened here," Todd observes as he comes to the bed. He lies down and pulls McKay down with him to sit on the bed while working with his tablet. Todd rests his left hand on McKay's leg to keep them touching; McKay scowls at his tablet and refuses to look at Todd. "Do you know one who is called Michael?" McKay bares his teeth at that, and Todd continues, "He attempted to make me human, as your people had done to him. As I wandered the universe, not remembering myself, Sheppard was the one I found who gave me truth." He sighs and allows himself a bit of wistfulness. "Having given truth, freedom, and life, there was little chance that more would not pass between us."

McKay lowers the tablet and reaches for Todd, his hand coming to rest on Todd's hair, his strong fingers stroking through the strands. Todd closes his eyes and relaxes into the touch. "I can't imagine you being human," McKay says after a long quiet. He snorts. "I suppose I never imagined I would..." He trails off, his hand stilling in its movement.

Todd can feel the struggle between McKay's self-loathing and his pride. He hates that this was forced on him, that he cannot return to who he was before, but he is also proud of what he accomplished, the Wraith technology he has designed and the fact that, between them, he and Vanguard had been able to turn the tables on Death. He is also ashamed; ashamed that he hates his own Wraith nature, as this is what allowed he and Vanguard to come together, and ashamed as well that there are times when he doesn't hate it: when he very much enjoys sensing the world as a Wraith does.

Todd reaches for him mentally, wrapping him in the comfort of hive. He reaches physically as well, sitting up to pull McKay closer.

McKay relaxes against him. I loved the hivesense, he murmurs, from the first. That... belonging to something. Even if they hated me, what I was, they were still there. I was still a part of something, and they couldn't kick me out of their club because they thought I was too much of an ass.

Todd hums. That is the essence of hivesense. I hadn't thought humans understood it.

McKay huffs an imitation of a laugh. I don't think many have experienced it like I have. He looks at Todd. Is Sheppard, in your world-? He trails off and doesn't finish.

But his meaning is clear, and Todd says, No. He is human and does not feel the hivesense, though we have found a way to develop a bond between the two of us.

McKay nods. "I don't think he would like it," he mutters. "Having people in your head. I think John likes being alone."

I believe you are correct in that Sheppard would not take easily to the hivesense, Todd observes, but he has taken quite well to our personal explorations, and the bond between us has saved his life on previous occasion.

"I do not think he enjoys being alone," Todd continues, thinking of the Sheppards he has encountered, "but that he has been forced to a place where it is easier to hide his thoughts than to allow others to confront them."

McKay frowns. "Whatever. He freaks out whenever I mention the hive link, and I'm pretty sure the only thing keeping him from repeatedly telling me to keep my creepy Wraith brain away from him is Teyla."

Todd blinks, remembering what McKay has said earlier about there being four of them. "Sheppard... and Teyla Emmagan?" It seems an odd pairing, but this is an odd universe. He has never felt any sort of interest between them in his own world, and Teyla Emmagan's sense of dedication is so given to her people that Todd has a hard time imagining her binding herself more resolutely away from them as to pair with Sheppard. Perhaps she is more Wraith than she knows, for a Queen will take any Wraith or Commander to sire her offspring and feel no obligation to his lineage or goals, but only seek her own ends. A child of theirs would likely have both Sheppard's strong Ancient gene and Teyla Emmagan's own Wraith genetic heritage and be a powerful individual indeed.

"She's been..." McKay flushes and looks away. "Really great."

Todd can imagine that Teyla Emmagan has served as a surrogate queen for McKay, much as she had served in Todd's own plans if in a slightly different way. She has anchored your thoughts, Todd guesses.

You helped too, McKay protests stubbornly. He sighs and presses his face against Todd's shirt. When I first came back, they told me you hadn't made it. And it was really hard. Teyla helped a lot. I could tell she was angry, but she was really patient too.

"And you say Sheppard has behaved poorly toward you?"

McKay sighs again. "He's always angry, whenever I see him. Even if he was fine before, I show up and suddenly he's angry."

Todd sighs himself. "This is the problem with living headblind," he murmurs.

"What?" McKay shifts, turning toward him. I can feel his thoughts, he protests. I'm not headblind. He's angry all the time.

I do not mean your abilities, Todd tells him. Having lived as human you are failing to see the truth. He strokes McKay's arm comfortingly. Sheppard is not angry at you. He is angered that he failed to protect you.

He didn't fail, McKay immediately denies. They did get me out, get me back. I mean, I did shoot at him that one time, and after that it was mostly you and Starcounter and Ember who did the actual work, but you were only working with us in the first place because of John, because of your history. McKay peers at him as if to ask if that is the same in Todd's world.

"Sheppard was the one who freed me from the Genii prison," Todd agrees, "But you are missing the true asset of the hivesense. You can reach other Wraith's thoughts, and read the surface emotions of humans, but the true power is the ability to understand the thought processes of other Wraith." McKay frowns, and he is thinking, but Todd leads him a bit more. "When you have learned to think this way, you can apply it to others as well."

"I already know that John feels guilty that they were able to take me," McKay protests. "You'd have to be an idiot to not see that. But the whole military thing is no man left behind, and they didn't. I came back. I'm alive. I'm... likely to stay that way a lot longer than him, frankly." The last is offered defensively.

Todd sits up, leaning in to peer into McKay's strange blue eyes. But you are changed. And you are not entirely well with it.

McKay opens his mouth to protest, but he can't deny the truth. Instead he tries, "I don't regret it or anything. That's pointless. And I..." he flushes. "I'm glad to have you." He leans in but seems to remember at the last moment that Todd is not his Vanguard and leans away. "And the hivesense is amazing, like I said. I feel like Sheppard has to understand that, there's no way he wasn't as lonely a kid as I was."

Todd strokes his cheek. When he sees you, the legacy of his failure is written on your face, he says. It is more difficult for him to see the legacy of what your experience has built.

"It's the same thing really," McKay points out cynically. He meets Todd's eyes. I'm not going to change back. They tried that, and it didn't work. So, I'll always look like a Wraith. He bares his pointed teeth. And he's always going to get angry when he sees me. So, it's about the same as if he hates me.

Todd sighs. Perhaps this will require more of a demonstration. "When are you supposed to meet Sheppard?"

McKay glances at a circular device on the wall. "Maybe an hour. When Teyla gets back from dropping off Torren with his dad." He frowns grumpily at Todd. Didn't you say you'd be leaving before then? If Vanguard was here we could be doing something fun until then, and not talking about Sheppard.

Todd laughs. Teyla Emmagan urged this meeting, you said? She is concerned that you and Sheppard have forsaken your friendship, and I must say I am concerned as well. He pauses, but continues, "I have seen many realities over the course of the recent past, and in almost all of them you and Sheppard are joined."

McKay looks skeptical, but flushes under Todd's gaze and admits defensively, I was infatuated for like a minute. Then he opened his mouth. He's very pretty, but he's kind of an asshole. Working on the same team is enough. I don't think I could stand sleeping with him, too.

Todd grins, amused, but does not let it deter him from his point. "I did not mean in an intimate fashion, though that occurs as well. But your spirits work better with one another. You care for each other, and you push each other to achieve better things for the good of your city. Teyla Emmagan can see that, and she wishes for you to be reconciled." He takes McKay's right hand in his. The man has large hands, and they are almost of a size. Todd spreads McKay's fingers open, revealing the feeding organ in the palm. He breathes on the sensitive flesh, and McKay twitches and shudders. "I believe my counterpart sees your discomfort at Sheppard's perceived rejection and wishes to spare you from that judgment, and that is why he would not wish to force you together, or be present with Sheppard when Sheppard holds resentment against you. While Sheppard is my brother, if he resented my sworn one, I would feel the need to... have words, as it is said, with him."

McKay's eyes are large. "He hasn't said it quite like that," he murmurs. "But I wondered why he stopped teasing John and started sounding really mean about it instead."

Todd nods. "Come. Let us seek Sheppard. Perhaps we can settle this before your Queen returns, and not tire her needlessly."

McKay flushes. "She's not," he begins, but the words trail off as Todd pulls him along to the room's door. "I don't think bugging Sheppard is going to help," he protests instead.

Todd would disagree, but if McKay is so obviously unsettled then it might not. He considers a way to aid McKay, and this Sheppard, before his time is cut short.

McKay stiffens slightly, and Todd feels it too: the brush of a Queen's mind. "Teyla's back early," McKay offers needlessly. Todd can feel his anxiety. "I… she knows something's up. I told her we'd meet them in the mess." He turns slightly desperate eyes to Todd.

"That is amenable," Todd replies.

McKay leads the way like one going to his doom, though Todd is distracted by the freedom to walk Atlantis' halls in a way he has not previously enjoyed. Their passage garners only dark looks from some individuals rather than the gun or stunner fire Todd would expect. McKay takes them by a circuitous path, but eventually they come to the mess hall, which Todd recognizes from Sheppard's memories. It is mostly empty and he easily finds Sheppard himself standing by the window, looking out at the water. Sheppard is scowling; he appears more worn than Todd expected, though his expression lightens when he looks down at Teyla Emmagan, seated at the table near him, drinking from a cup of tea. She notes their entrance and her eyes come to fix on Todd sharply, as well as the regard of her mind.

You are not Vanguard, she tells him sharply.

McKay is aware, he replies quickly, and I do not come to feed. It is perhaps too traditionally Wraith of a response, but she remains seated, awaiting them.

Sheppard must sense her tension, because he turns toward her, his attention on her as he takes his seat at her left hand. She speaks to him, and he turns to look at Todd.

It has been, as Sheppard might say, a long day, and with the welcome McKay has already extended him Todd is less hurt by Sheppard's hostility and the absence of his usual warmth than he had been earlier in his journey. Todd feels McKay tense beside him, then relax when he remembers that Todd is not his "Vanguard" and thus less likely to respond in kind to Sheppard's behavior.

They approach the table; Todd can see Sheppard's hand twitching for a sidearm he is not currently wearing, and the man reaches for his earpiece instead. "Security to the mess hall."

McKay's patience frays. "For fucks sake, John, do you think I'd bring him here if he'd hurt people?"

Sheppard's eyes narrow and he appears on the verge of speaking when Teyla Emmagan interrupts him. "Who are you?"

"He's Vanguard," McKay shoots back.

"He is not who he appears," she argues.

"I know! He's the focus of a cross universal cascade event; he's still Vanguard, just from a different reality." McKay's shoulders hunch and he crosses his arms over his chest.

Sheppard has stilled in the way that means he is trying not to show that he is planning ways to counter a potential threat. "Don't you need a triggering event for something like that?" he drawls.

Todd grins. "The event in question did not occur here and will have no further effect on your universe." Todd gestures for McKay to sit and then sits beside him, laying his right arm across the back of McKay's chair possessively. He might not care for McKay as deeply as "Vanguard" does, but they are hive; Todd will take whatever opportunity he is given to express his care for those who are his hive. He feels McKay relax and settle under the affection, leaning into Todd.

Sheppard's expression is sour. "How long has this been going on?"

"About an hour," McKay replies.

"You are very calm," Teyla Emmagan observes of Todd. "Considering this must be as unsettling for you to experience as it is for us to learn about."

"I have had opportunity to overcome my distress at my situation," Todd replies. "This is the eighth reality I have experienced in succession."

"You didn't say it had been so many." McKay leans toward him, worry clouding his expression.

Todd leans toward him in turn, and they are pressing foreheads together, sensory organs flaring, a low humming purr from McKay echoing between them. The affection is easily given on both sides. Todd is aware of Sheppard and Teyla Emmagan seated across from them, neither of whom seem distressed by viewing this exchange; Emmagan in fact seems approving.

It is not until McKay pulls back, flushed with embarrassment, that Sheppard's expression darkens again. McKay won't look at Sheppard.

Todd refuses to retreat, and he is still stroking McKay's shoulder as he says, "From what McKay has told me since I arrived, we have a strained relationship between us in this world, John Sheppard."

Sheppard snorts. "If you want to call it that," he says noncommittally.

McKay tenses further, but Teyla Emmagan leans back slightly, a Wraith mannerism that cedes control of the exchange, her expression pleased.

"What would you call it?" Todd pushes Sheppard.

Sheppard narrows his eyes. After a few moments he offers, "Occasionally useful. Often antagonistic."

Todd grins. McKay bares his teeth, but Todd assures him, I am trying to provoke him, please do not think I will be upset at his words.

McKay agrees grudgingly.

"And what of my relationship with your Doctor McKay?" Todd continues. "Would you categorize that as useful or antagonistic?"

"I'd call it none of my business," Sheppard replies smartly.

"It obviously upsets you," Todd says, because it is untrue. He caresses his hand over McKay's shoulder comfortingly.

Sheppard scowls. "Upsets me," he repeats, brows narrowed in anger. "The only thing that upsets me is-"

"Your own failure?" Todd cuts in.

John gives him a truly scathing look. Even knowing that he has pushed for this reaction, Todd feels ill at ease to have received it. “You think I'm worried about that- about me? We got Rodney back.” He meets McKay's gaze in affirmation then turns back to glare at Todd. “Hell, we finally got Ford back and sent him home.”

McKay stands up abruptly, staring at Sheppard. "Is that what this is about? You're upset that I regressed enough that I can't go back to Earth like Ford and see my family again? John. I barely saw them when I wasn't a security risk. Jeannie and I still talk. She knows the important things about me haven't changed. Hell, we get along better than we ever have.”

Sheppard pulls back, turning away. Todd wonders if they should have chosen a more private arena for this conversation. He knows John is not comfortable airing his emotions. But Teyla Emmagan sits serenely at the table unbothered.

Sheppard's jaw works. "What about the fact that you hate it? That you have to live with what they made you do?"

"I don't hate it," McKay says, and Sheppard recoils in such a way that Todd realizes for all McKay's ease in talking about the comfort of the hivesense, these are not words that he's ever said to Sheppard. McKay looks away. "I just… I know the fact that I look like this makes you upset because it reminds you of what I did and-"

"Rodney. That's not-" Sheppard takes a deep breath. "You're saying, the only thing you don't like about being part Wraith is that it upsets me?"

"Well not just you, but yeah. I regret some of the things that I did, but not anything about myself. I-" He leans against Todd and smiles at Teyla. "I'm loved, I have my work, and with Jennifer's retrovirus there's not even an issue with needing to feed."

Sheppard sits down heavily in his chair. Teyla Emmagan rests her hand on his arm. "I- Shit, Rodney. That's. I never meant to make you feel that way."

"And you are not angry," Todd prompts.

Sheppard glares at Todd but continues to Rodney, "I was never mad at you. I know you didn't do any of the things you did because you wanted to."

"Even when I shot you?" McKay pushes.

"It's my fault we weren't prepared enough to expect that you might have had some memory loss," Sheppard insists. Teyla Emmagan's expression narrows in disagreement.

McKay snorts. "That's bullshit. You can't make everything shitty that happens your fault, John."

Todd doesn't think that is necessarily a productive course, but Teyla Emmagan smiles, pleased. They have not spoken so openly in months. She eyes Todd speculatively. Vanguard tends to antagonize John rather than be helpful.

It is a reaction to Sheppard’s distance from McKay and McKay perceiving it as rejection. In all, a delightful tangle of misunderstandings.

Teyla Emmagan nods. Your arrival is fortuitous then, she observes.

As has often been the case for me today, Todd replies.

She raises her eyebrows. You have been busy for one day.

Todd exhales, some of his energy and good humor leaving him. It has quite likely been longer than a day, he admits. I… am pleased to have been able to assist, but…

Teyla sighs. You said the cause happened in your own reality? She exudes a comforting presence. I can imagine you would want to return there and know for certain.

Very much so, Todd allows. There is… something about her, and when he realizes what it is, Todd says, “Felicitations.”

Sheppard and McKay break off their bickering, which has continued in a very fond tone, to stare at him before turning to look at Teyla, in Sheppard's case slightly agog. “Uh- are you?”

Teyla sighs. “Yes, John,” she allows, though she levels a quelling glare back at Todd.

It's a good thing you're not Vanguard, Teyla adds. He would never let John forget this.

Todd grins, pleased to have disrupted her plans, though he is not entirely certain if he is pleased by her news. He was pleased for Sheppard to be with the woman Weir in the last world, and accepted him being bound to McKay in several others early in his journey, but something about this doesn't sit as well with him. As Sheppard turns to Teyla, his expression soft, Todd wonders what it is. Perhaps it is that he has long found Teyla Emmagan to be dangerous and unpredictable. Or perhaps he is too tired to find joy in this anymore. He sighs.

McKay's hand cards through his hair and pulls him closer. We can go to my lab if you want, I can run some tests. Decay rates won't mean a whole lot without a baseline to compare it to, but if it'll make you feel better.

Todd smiles fondly. Thank you, but I will just stay like this for a moment. He presses his face into McKay's neck, and, between one blink and the next, he is gone.

(return to AO3 to continue the chapter)

[texasdreamer01]

Atlantis Expedition - Military Division

Previously on my Stargate Atlantis headcanon post series: the Science Division, the Civilian Division.

Developing headcanons for the military side of the expedition is… interesting, in that canon rests on a lot of preconceived notions borrowed from the format of SG-1, while having several blind spots on the actual structure and daily life of the soldiers in the expedition. This leaves a lot of room for speculation, and thus headcanons, but also a fair amount of frustration in terms of referencing available material.

There are a few pieces of canon that can be used as a starting point. The first is the fact that this an expedition comprised of individuals from multiple countries, of which the military here is of no exception. The second is that the expedition is civilian-minded, so the purpose of the military is somewhat reduced to a support, rather than governing, role. The third is that one of the main uses for the military contingent is the formation of gate teams.

Our primary exposure to this in canon is AR-1, and John Sheppard himself while within Atlantis. Sheppard is not an orthodox soldier, as evidenced by canonical depictions of his service record, but a skilled and creative one. It's a bit of a chicken-or-egg problem on whether his character was created with the scope of the show in mind, or that his character developed the show, but as Sheppard became the commanding officer (CO) shortly after the expedition arrived in the Pegasus galaxy, it's relatively safe to assume there's some fluidity to the definition of his position.

Much as Weir has defined being Chief Administrative Officer and McKay has defined being Chief Science Officer, Sheppard has defined being CO of the Atlantis expedition, and quickly established himself as such despite the shaky beginnings.

His primary impact on the expedition has been the formation of AR-1, so starting with the gate teams (here, Atlantis Reconnaissance, abbreviated to AR) would be prudent.

Below is a list of the canonical gate teams:

> AR-1  » Flagship team, most frequently the ones on missions  » Exploration > AR-2  » Exploration > AR-3  » Exploration > AR-4  » Exploration > AR-5  » Exploration > AR-6  » Exploration > AR-7  » Exploration > AR-8  » Reconnaissance > AR-9  » Relocation > AR-10  » Research > AR-11  » Research > AR-12  » Search and Rescue, Intelligence > AR-13  » Exploration, Research

TL:DR for those that don't want to read the list: teams 1-7 & 13 are exploration (8 total exploration), 1 reconnaissance, 1 relocation, 3 research, and 1 mixed-use search-and-rescue/intelligence.

Note that the majority of these canonical gate teams are dedicated to research. Whether this is an authorial oversight and a lack of canonical worldbuilding remains to be seen, but the Atlantis teams differ from the SGC teams in that there are no medical teams, nor specialized military teams (I'm not really counting AR-12 as those are two conflicting functions within the same team, and AR-8 is specialized but not necessarily out of the bounds of typical military training the SGC would likely demand of its soldiers). Perhaps this is due to the expedition charter's primary goal of studying Atlantis with an intention to be regularly supplied by the SGC instead of establishing trade relations for food, clothing, and other non-specialized supplies, which would correlate to an expected lack of Goa'uld-type enemies. Having the teams named for reconnaissance makes sense, in this perspective, and would reflect Sheppard's position as CO in a civilian context - find information for the CAO to draw conclusions with and create orders from.

After contact with the Athosians and the Wraith, these teams might undergo reorganization over time as the expedition's needs change, their political and social position relative to the Pegasus galaxy changes, and their connection to Earth is re-established. It's likely that the exploration teams might become more specialized as the Atlantis-Wraith war develops over canon, and that the exploration teams would become more finely tuned toward including specialists in Ancient and Wraith technology rather than the hodge-podge it canonically is.

Teyla Emmagen's input will be highly formative, as she and the Athosians she leads were with the expedition in some aspect since its beginning in the Pegasus galaxy. The goals of gate teams will likely be arranged accordingly, and informing the galaxy of Atlantis' return - if not precisely by the Ancients themselves - would achieve multiple political and diplomatic goals of the expedition. Outside of AR-1, it's unlikely that multiple gate teams would be deployed on a frequent or regular basis, particularly because of so much personnel energy being focused on the discovery and research of Atlantis itself, as well as the myriad hazards the expedition becomes embroiled in by the very nature of Atlantis being neglected for millennia.

As the expedition is a civilian one, and not formed with the expectation in mind of fighting a war, as the SGC was catapulted into, there will be less bearing on wartime activities despite regular conflict with the Wraith in the form of cullings of humans across the galaxy and the infrequent personal contacts (see: The Siege pts. I & II, the Michael arc, anything to do with Todd the Wraith).

What might be another goal of gate teams is sorting out alternate base locations. In SG-1, there are multiple sites used for regrouping personnel in the event of an emergency or other use (see: Alpha Site the first, Alpha site the second, Alpha site the third, Beta Site, Gamma Site). Atlantis has its own contingency sites, useful for off-loading personnel or acting as a quarantining area to prevent things from being brought back to the city itself, as the SGC's alpha and other sites are intended for (Alpha Site the first, Alpha Site the second, Alpha Site the third). This adds an additional layer of security for the expedition, and something that can also be leveraged by the SGC itself if the need arises.

Because of the above considerations, here is some proposed rearrangements, with a few nods to canon and commentary included:

> AR-1  » Flagship team, takes primary consideration for field missions  » Exploration, establishes safety of a location for other teams to arrive  » Diplomatic   ⇛ Head of Expedition may be attached to this team, where AR-1 lends their expertise as required > AR-2  » Back-up for AR-1  » Headed by either military 2IC (i.e. Evan Lorne) or a third in command depending on Atlantis' situation > AR-3  » General security team  » Headed by head of security (i.e. Bates)  » Functions as additional manpower if AR-1 or AR-2 require it > AR-4  » Research team  » 2IC for CSO would be on this team (i.e. Radek Zelenka)  » Helps to establish a research site if required  » Provides some additional security while also providing scientific expertise > AR-5  » Medical team  » Provides emergency medical expertise to gate teams on an as-needed basis   ⇛ Generally easier to send a back-up team to drag injured parties back to Atlantis  » Can help set up a field hospital   ⇛ Establishes a place for triage off-world   ⇛ Establishes training site for triage of off-world individuals > AR-6  » Back-up security team  » For when you need even more security  » Tendency to bring the big guns > AR-7  » Mixed-context security team  » For when you need technological expertise along with the big guns   ⇛ i.e. finding someplace the Ancients built, oops people are now stuck and need help getting out  » May join up with AR-4   ⇛ 2IC for CSO might float to this one as a situation requires > AR-8  » Research team, specialized  » Head of team may be fixed while specialists may fluctuate > AR-9  » Combat engineering  » As AR-6 has the big guns, AR-9 packed the C4 and the other explosives  » Can also literally build bridges and other support structures  » For when you need the heavy duty soldiers > AR-10  » Search and Rescue, Intelligence  » Start of the double-digits of teams, which is when you know you need a more specialized approach  » For the hairy situations that require a delicate touch  » Can probably be considered diplomatic, after a stretch  » Can work with AR-9 when utilizing their search and rescue function > AR-11  » Reconnaissance  » Can work with AR-10 when utilizing AR-10's intelligence function  » If a planet is known to be sketchy and/or AR-1 is already a couple steps ahead, send these people  » Is not meant to stay off-world for long periods of time, may or may not be in uniform > AR-12  » Relocation  » Specializes in helping establish off-world sites for both the expedition and any non-expedition refugees  » Works with many of the above teams to accomplish this > AR-13  » Junk drawer  » Designation for any additional members of the expedition, or non-expedition members temporarily added, according to mission needs

Some of the canonical ones have been shuffled around, such as Bates' team, and AR-10 and AR-11 switching places, but these are probably not a strict ranking due to AR-1 taking the majority of the mission load. The coordination of the CSO, the CO, the expedition leader, and the various departments of the science division (mostly the Life Sciences and Field Sciences) will determine what missions are on the docket and what teams will be assigned to them. The expedition keeps mostly to itself, so going as far as AR-13 for a team creation is likely going to be a last in line consideration, at least for the first few years of the expedition as they establish their footing and survive the war with the Wraith.

It's possible that in the far future, beyond what canon covers, that the expedition will develop more gate teams as they increase their personnel, in the same way that the SGC has done over the course of ten years. If this is the case, many of the double-digit gate teams will be about establishing off-world sites for contingency plans and research projects, with bolstering from Atlantis having a large number of on-base military personnel that can be sent out if required.

Gate teams have no standardized number of personnel, though it seems according to canon this is usually four people. Up to eight has occurred, and apparently depends on the situation and the specialization of a given team. This is assuredly within the realm of speculation, and has a high degree of leverage for developing story plots.

As for other, undeveloped sections of the expedition which are not already filled by the Science Division, military personnel can - and probably do - fill the gap. This means aspects such as general logistics of the expedition - non-scientific inventorying, maintaining of supply lines as the CAO orders, etc. While members of gate teams may be geared for gate team work, while on base they may have other duties as assigned. This may not necessarily increase the amount of personnel in this division, but a round number never hurt.

As established in the headcanon post series for the Science Division, scientists are accounted here to make up 32.5% of the expedition, at 65 of 200 proposed members. The Civilian Division, such as it is, would be two invididuals (HA and scientific advisor), which then brings the accounted total to 65 + 2 = 67 people. 200 total - 67 accounted for = 133 expedition personnel currently unaccounted for. Subtract 1 for the CO, and that total becomes 132. Compared to the Science Division, this is an extraordinary amount of people, but if one takes into account expected causalities (at an egregious count, 50%), then 132 ÷ 2 = 66, which pares things down to about even with the Science Division.

While this may appear fatalistic and even callous, a soldier is as important as their equipment to a mission, and the pragmatism of doubling-up on supplies can and often does determine the survival rate and success of a mission. Ideally the least amount of causalities occurring as possible is indubitably a good thing, and the mark of a good CO, so strategies will be formed and implemented based upon striving for a best case scenario. This also means that each soldier will receive regular refreshment of their training and additional skill-sets may be implemented as the needs of the expedition requires.

Canon shows a woeful amount of supplies being brought with the expedition, and while this may be an oversight, it is canonical that the expedition arrived with limited supplies with the expectation that Earth would eventually find a way to make contact with them and establish supply lines the same as any other forward operating base.

This means that another expectation of the military division is following CAO orders and establishing supply lines as directed. This means that gate teams are a necessity, and that, yes, the primary duty of nearly any given gate team will be some form of reconnaissance. Likely someone such as Teyla Emmagen would provide input on the best approaches for this, and would assist with leading by example due to her inclusion on the primary gate team, AR-1.

It is almost a near-certainty that everyone in the military division has passed through SGC hiring, screening, and training procedures, as the expedition is an extension of the SGC due to the nature of its funding. That the IOA provides an additional supply of funding and personnel is important because of the impact that being multi-national means to the culture of the expedition, but ultimately this is funneled through procedures long-established by the SGC.

Miscellaneous duties of the military division would include, but are not limited to:

> Assisting personnel in the Science Division as situation requires > Inventorying and maintenance of ammunition, gear, and field medical supplies > Establishing structures and routines for facilities such as the mess hall, laundry room, and recreational areas > Maintaining said established facilities on a rotational basis > Attending to physical security of the expedition on both a routine and emergency basis

Does this mean, for example, that they're playing janitor when not on a mission as a gate team? Not likely, especially in a city ship as big as Atlantis, even with the comparatively minuscule footprint the expedition takes up during its residence, but it would be unsurprising if sweeping or mopping a hallway is considered character-building for the bored and otherwise unruly from time to time. (If a scientist or three is persuaded to occasionally join in, that would be a disciplinary matter discussed between the CO and CSO.)

To bring things back to the gate teams, these might be the primary duties while on an off-world mission: > Fulfill mission-specific orders given by CO and CAO > Minimize casualties of team members and any civilians under their purview > Obey standing orders given by CO and CAO

What this means is that each gate team will have training and expectations for what it means to be on a gate team - the SGC has likely leveraged much of this in their initial sweep of training in order to clear each soldier to join the expedition before the gate is even dialed for the Pegasus galaxy. Because of the remote location and general expectation that the expedition will be unable to call for help for an undetermined amount of time, the military division as a whole is expected to be a jack-of-all-trades. This means setting up camp, decamping, field triage and medicine, establishing defenses, and training of the civilians in the expedition on emergency procedures and evacuation protocols. (Some may call this babysitting. Your mileage may vary.)

Gate team training, orders, and practical goals achieved are heavily linked to the running of the expedition. They allow the CAO maneuverability of opportunities by establishing first contacts with other societies for things like political leverage of the expedition, establishing supply lines, and scouting out contingency sites as the SGC already does with their gate teams.

Total personnel for the Military Division

1 Commanding Officer (CO) (posted 22 July 2024)

132 soldiers

Total total: 133

[sablewick]

Roughhousing

Roughhousing (1247 words) by Sablewick Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Stargate SG-1, Stargate Atlantis, Stargate Universe Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Cameron Mitchell/John Sheppard Characters: Cameron Mitchell (Stargate), John Sheppard Additional Tags: Pre-Relationship, Roughhousing, Miscommunication Summary: Cam drags John to the homestead for Thanksgiving during their academy days. John Cam Thing-a-thon (ages ago) Prompt: Play fighting For ninja_hamsters

The Mitchell household seemed to hold more people than any other building John had ever been in. Immediate family, extended family, distant relatives and, like him, random friends who'd been roped into the road trip back to the homestead for the weekend.

In the ten minutes it took him to transfer his duffle from the car to the living room, he'd met 15 different people, two of which were babies. And more of them were appearing out of doorways and wandering off to the back yard. John suspected he could start opening cupboards and he'd find people stashed in there. Cam's estimate of ‘a few people' was clearly way off the mark. It was like a village was descending on the Mitchell House.

"So, who's sleeping in the barn?" John had muttered jokingly to Cam when they'd rocked up and immediately been roped into bonfire preparations with ten other guys.

He'd been somewhat bemused when Cam had replied: "I think it's Vick's turn this time around, or it might be Tommy's. Don't worry about it though, you'll be in my room."

Then they'd gone off to pitch tents on the front lawn.

Dinner was a massive affair with the ladies in the kitchen for hours and the men outside carefully cultivating the bonfire, setting up old plough discs and portable grates for steaks and sausages and, most importantly, a rotisserie with a couple of turkeys impaled on it. Everyone ate outside perched on garden furniture and camp chairs with paper plates and wooden cutlery that all went into the bonfire when people had finished eating.

By the time the smores were out and doing the rounds, they were half way through the evening and John had met so many new people that he was beginning to forget people's names; something that had never happened to him even at his father's function dinners (and at those he usually actively avoided people and made to run off half way through the night) He could feel the familiar panic setting in, that horrible social awkwardness that usually accompanied him in crowded environments and he scanned the faces lit up by the orange glow of the fire trying to find a reassuring smile from Cam.

He had no such luck though as Cam was engrossed in conversation with an elderly man that John had mistaken for Great Aunt Betty earlier in the night. (Honest to God, it was an easy mistake to make) And with both his bonfire neighbours occupied with other people, John, feeling somewhat overwhelmed and a little isolated, ducked away from the fire and wandered back towards the house, intending to find his car and sit in it.

Cam had apparently been waiting for this to happen, though, as when John was navigating his way across the back lawn trying not to trip over the hose or the children's toys that littered the grass, Cam came hurtling out of the darkness and tackled him to the ground.

John's first reaction was to fight back violently, but he froze when he heard Cam's familiar laughter.

"What the hell, Cam?" John punched him in the arm.

"Owe, you bastard." Cam leapt on top of him again, rolling him over in the grass. John made an aborted attempt to throw him off, trying to figure out what was going on. Cam clearly wasn't trying to hurt him, but he wasn't going to let him up, either. And he kept digging his fingers into John's ribs seeming especially pleased when John jerked away.

"C'mon, Shepard. Show me what you've got." Cam grinned down at him, tickling him again, and John's natural urge to compete took over and he started to fight back, still somewhat confused as to what this was supposed to mean.

They tussled for a couple of minutes, throwing harmless taunts back and forth. Pinning each other, breaking holds and tickling each other whenever they had a hand free.

It ended in a fit of pained laughter when John accidentally clipped Cam in the jaw with his elbow. Cam rolled onto his back, exhausted and panting, working his jaw up and down to test out the pain.

John propped himself up on an elbow, looking down at him in the dim light.

"Sorry," he grinned, clearly not meaning it. It was his own fault anyway, for jumping him in the dark.

Cam swung an arm out, trying to get him in a headlock, but John ducked away easily.

He refrained from retaliating though, looking down at Cam with a crooked smile instead.

"I win?"

Cam snorted. "I think I'm justified in calling foul play." He jerked away as John prodded him in the ribs.

A voice drifted out of the darkness, startling them. Then Cam's younger brother wandered into view along with a couple of cousins. "Who's playing foul?"

"Cam." John said immediately, then scooted out of the way as Cam was suddenly buried underneath a mountain of guys all crying stacks on. John laughed at Cam's muffled complaints, but it only took them a few moments to decide that John was worth punishing as well, rolling off a groaning Cam and leaping up to tear after John.

It turned into an impromptu game of what appeared to be football without the ball, but was actually a game of who could tackle who the most times. Of which neither Cam or John was the winner.

Later that night, lying on a mattress on Cam's floor, John contemplated the friendly bruising the roughhousing had caused. It seemed to be something that they were all familiar with, rolling around in the grass and messing with each other. Something that John could never imagine getting up to with his cousin's.

He'd found it unusual that they were all so happy afterwards, laughing and ribbing each other for failed attacks and boasting about spectacular tackles. He was especially confused when Cam had pulled him into a hug afterwards, grinning wildly and ruffling his hair. He'd thought that Cam was annoyed with him for trying to skip out on the party, hence the attack. But apparently this was some form of communication that his somewhat more posh upbringing hadn't deigned to educate him in.

It was something that John now realised that Cam had tentatively tried to start before, but John had never picked up on. Something which had confused John up until tonight. All the times Cam had randomly decided to shove John off the lounge, or tip him off the bed, pinched his blankets or snatched food directly off his plate, what John had thought was Cam being a bit of a bully, was, in actual fact, Cam trying to play. It was Cam's way of testing him and learning about him, and strangely enough, showing that he cared.

Which was why, years later, (after Cam had started chasing Ori and John was off trekking through another galaxy trying to avoid having his life sucked away by ugly looking space Vampires) John didn't take it too badly when his newly acquired, very angry Satedan friend insisted on hitting him with things, a lot.

He'd groaned about it to Cam, who'd just laughed at him and complained about the fact that he would never in his life be able to beat Teal'c. Then he'd teased John about getting old.

And just for that, next time John was on Earth, he was going to tackle Cam, and show him just how young he still was.

[california-112]

⭐️ for directors cut!

Ah, thank you!

It took me a while to work out which piece would be good for this, as I've never seen or done a director's cut before. However! Now presenting:

Gather [Calloween 2022]: The Director's Cut (original on AO3)

The crisis was over. The dust was settling. After seventy-two hours, four moves, and one minor battle, the people were returning to Atlantis.

[The inspiration for this piece, working on the 'gather' prompt', came from my return from a field exercise a few months earlier which had been fairly similar to this scenario (in an Earth way), so much of it is based on experience. I love to see people come together after a shared adversity/hardship, rather than isolating themselves to recover then going on as normal.]

The mass exodus had been the very last resort to their initial problem, and had caused a whole host of others. With reluctance, McKay had had to advise the entire expedition to gate to another planet whilst the city was fully rebooted, [turn it off and on again strikes back] a process which would involve a purge of the life support systems and loss of the stargate systems for at least twenty-four hours. When they planet they had found refuge on initially was suddenly subject to a Wraith culling, they had been forced to move again, then the next planet had proven unsuitable, then then next…all the while, Atlantis had been unreachable, the reboot taking longer than expected ["When has plan A ever worked?"]. Finally, they had found a relatively calm planet to wait out the final few hours on, the gate releasing them into a deeply submerged cave system, and they had only been worried by regular minor earthquakes, a trifle compared to their other attempted safe havens.

Now, with the Atlantis gate available again, they were at the end of their ordeal, and everyone was tired, and beaten down. Thankfully, nobody was particularly broken [It took me a good while to get the wording there right...a worryingly long time considering how simple it is...]. Everyone dispersed to their quarters in silence, relying on the city's systems to allow all the showers to run hot at the same time [and for a long time...!], and thinking longingly of clean clothes and warm blankets.

However, despite promises to sleep for improbable numbers of days once they returned [My own statement was at least two days, but I heard someone promise a week], about an hour after the weary hoards shuffled though the Stargate, everyone found themselves packed into the mess hall [It really does happen that way...you just find yourself there, drawn by something you cant explain. It's very comforting.]. Some sprawled on seats whilst others took the floor, speaking softly and of nothing consequential. Nobody was cooking, but food had appeared [I like to think that, as for me, it was a large amount of pizza and sides. How many frozen pizzas went to Atlantis, I wonder?]. The atmosphere was one of pure comfort.

Rodney was slumped in a corner between a wall and a large planter, slowly working his way through half of a large, over-enthusiastically stuffed sandwich, whilst John sat nearby, munching on the other half with his eyes closed [They share the sandwich! Cute <3]. The scientist was on the brink of an exhausted sleep, but still valiantly trying to stop his head from drooping onto Sheppard's shoulder. Ronon was propped on the other side, his hand mechanically delivering some small, dried berries to his mouth [I'm imagining space Goji berries], and Teyla was leaning against him, still just about awake enough to be sipping some strong Athosian tea. [This paragraph was written with a wish for it to serve as an art prompt to someone, but so far no bites. Maybe I'll commission it someday.]

Zelenka was visible in the near distance, sitting at a table in front of a cup of coffee, the steam from which was fogging up his glasses. He made no effort to clear it: he had fallen asleep leaning on his hand, not surprising after his indefatigable efforts during their exile [At least 50% of his 'efforts' were put into arguing with McKay.]. In the far corner, Lorne was sitting with a group of marines who were lying around lazily and playing cards [They are playing Cheat. Everyone is both too tired to cheat, and too tired to realise that nobody is cheating.]. Chuck had fallen asleep with his arms as a pillow, nestled in the midst of the table of fellow gate techs [In my mind, he's the ringleader of the little group of green-shirts, and they're like a little family/sibling cluster. Not a good explanation but you get my point]. Carson, having looked after all the minor injuries and mental health issues for the past three days, was now looking after himself, sitting with the largest bowl of instant porridge he could muster and plodding through it spoon by spoon [If you've had real porridge, you know that instant isn't half as good, but although Carson is usually a snob about this, at that moment it's good enough.]. Weir had finally been able to step back from command, knowing that her people were safe, and was lying on a sofa deeply asleep, her cup of Athosian tea forgotten at her side [Given to her by Teyla...they had a little forehead moment too.].

After a while of observing his friends [Yes, they're all his friends. I think he's more popular than we necessarily see on screen, a sort of friend to all.], thinking back over their ordeal of the past few days, John suddenly realised something, and spoke it laconically.

"Y'know what day it is today?"

"Hm?" Rodney replied, bringing his head up from a dangerously downward trajectory [One of my favourite phrasings in this piece.].

"October thirty-first." John sighed. "Hallowe'en."

"Oh." Rodney replied, a more articulate answer failing him.

There was a moment of silence before Ronon's voice rumbled [Delayed alliteration my beloved]. "What's Hallowe'en?"

"Oh, it's an Earth thing," John explained slowly, "kids dress up and go around asking people for candy."

"What is the point?" Teyla asked amiably.

"Fun holiday I guess." John replied, suddenly stifling a yawn. "Kinda celebrates monsters and stuff."

"Defeating them?" Ronon asked.

"…yeah." John replied, thinking that it could be seen as ridiculing monsters into things that weren't scary at all. "Yeah, sure."

"People tell scary stories." Rodney added, struggling to keep up with even the simple conversation. "About ghosts and clowns and stuff."

"Yeah, we do that too." John agreed, adding a mumbled "I hate clowns."

Teyla frowned. "Tales of things that have happened to you?" she asked, "Why would you want to relive such painful memories?" [This said, we don't talk enough about the Athosian children playing Wraith. We should probably talk about that.]

"They're not normally real, just made up. For effect."

"We did that," Ronon volunteered, "on Sateda. When we sat around to clean our weapons, we'd tell each other stories of ghosts and stuff."

"Care to share?" John asked.

There was a pause of surprise, with Ronon not used to being the centre of attention on such occasions [He deserved more moments like this!], but receiving an encouraging smile from Teyla, he began. As the tale began to take shape, a few of the people nearby also turned to listen, and there was soon quite an audience [This is where people find themselves making new friends by accidentally leaning on people, or shuffling into them, slotting themselves into small gaps and being aware of the feeling of friends surrounding them.]. Sheppard let his head lean on the wall behind him, watching with a softened gaze as the group was quickly surrounded by their colleagues, the whole mess hall who wasn't already asleep deciding to gather [Again, it's a group instinct. Even people who aren't that interested will come over. Some remain with their friends and fall asleep too, but it's a very soft moment.]. It wasn't long after everyone had fallen into a reverent silence that a weight settled on his shoulder, moving rhythmically in slumber [Having someone's head on your shoulder is one of the best feelings in this world, and you can't change my mind.]. As he felt his own eyes drooping, Ronon's voice becoming more and more distant, he hardly noticed as his own head slumped onto Rodney's, and they drifted together into a dreamless sleep. [Another scene to commission...]

Thanks for this ask! It's great to get the opportunity to re-explore this piece, and I hope you found it interesting!

[ao3feed-mcshep]

I'll Choose My Own Path

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/gzSZT8X

by RaspberryDreams1

Vernon and Petunia refuse to keep Harry, abandoning him with distant relatives. John embraces the idea of becoming a father to his abandoned cousin and takes him away to keep him safe. Is magic and Hogwarts going to be enough of an attraction to a boy who grew up on a seemingly almost sentient flying city in another galaxy.

Words: 3100, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Stargate Atlantis

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Characters: Harry Potter, Petunia Evans Dursley, Vernon Dursley, Albus Dumbledore, Hermione Granger, Hermione Granger's Mother, Hermione Granger's Father, Molly Weasley, Arthur Weasley, Ron Weasley, Fred Weasley, George Weasley, Percy Weasley, Ginny Weasley, Sirius Black, John Sheppard, Rodney McKay, Patrick Sheppard, David Sheppard, Jack O'Neill, Teyla Emmagan, Ronon Dex, Torren John Emmagan, Radek Zelenka, Evan Lorne

Relationships: Rodney McKay/John Sheppard

Additional Tags: Child Abandonment, Child Neglect, Adoption, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Crossover, Manipulative Albus Dumbledore, Overbearing Molly Weasley, Fix-It of Sorts

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/gzSZT8X

[chaniis-atlantis]

Thanks for the tag @annwayne !

All of these are posted on ao3 under the name Chaniis

NSFW paragraphs are tagged as such, but most of these have some explicit content somewhere

Something About You Feels Like Home - John Sheppard/Todd the Wraith

The first thing John noticed when he stepped through the Stargate was the scent. Woodsmoke danced on a chilled breeze that filled his nose and mouth with clarity when he inhaled. The Colonel could smell food. He could smell the sharp scent of crisp, autumn leaves. Everything about it relaxed him, and when he closed his eyes, he felt like a little kid again.

Che Cera, Cera - John/Todd

The Wraith walks along the halls of the Hive, passing by large, pulsing columns that help to keep the fantastical bundle of organic matter together. The mist, which hydrates the living organism that is the ship, has gathered heavily around his ankles. He feels the hum of the ship in the back of his mind. It’s agitated today, and the uneven beat of its being values him into the fact that it knows something he doesn’t.

Pretty Fucking [Blank] - NSFW John Sheppard/Evan Lorne

The latest man swipes his spent and rapidly softening cockhead on John Sheppard's waiting tongue. John flicks his tongue under it and stares up at him with eyes he knows are pretty because men tell him so when they fuck his throat.

Brazen - John/Todd

They understand each other now, he's sure of it. 

Across the Universe - John/Todd

“No, it's too dangerous. Not to mention completely against protocol.” Richard Woolsey, head of the Atlantis Expedition, stated from across the long, wide, and garish meeting table he’d brought with him from home.

The comment was directed at a Wraith, Todd, who stood with his arms crossed, a sharp-toothed grin across his grey-green face. The tall commander towered over almost all of John Sheppard’s team, excluding Ronan. The large Satedan had offered to keep the alien at gunpoint through the meeting. His one-of-a-kind weapon was set to stun, though John knew he wanted to set it to kill. Alongside him were two marines pointing their 5.56 mm Koch G36K firearms, ready to fire on John’s command.

An Extra Fifteen Minutes - Pre Slash John/Todd

Old age was like a curse, Sheppard realized as he and the Wraith stumbled through the thick forest on Koyla’s godforsaken planet. The ground was uneven and strewn with rocks and surfaced roots. Even though the sky was bright with the light of two moons and twinkling stars, the tree cover shrouded the way in darkness. Several times, he almost tripped, even at their relatively slow pace.

I Reach Out for Your Hand - John/Todd

The world came in like a slow, steady drip. First, the monotone beeping of a machine that stood out against muffled voices and the sharp but quiet ringing in his ears. He squinted his eyes open, searching for the source of the sounds, but he was immediately assaulted with light and snapped them shut. The word lurched; pain bloomed in the top of his head and tingled downward toward his neck. His heart raced as the feeling spread, like a dull fire, to limbs he couldn’t feel before. Down his arms to his fingers and over his legs so he could wiggle his toes

All Bets are Off - NSFW John/Todd

They tumble down a hill side, landing in a pile of soft foliage at the base of an ancient tree. The Wraith presses the human against the dirt, a low purr deep in the back of his throat as he brushes deadly teeth against the delicate cords of John’s neck. John squeezes his eyes shut, trying not to let his fingers, laced in the Wraith’s, betray his fear more than his heart already has. This Wraith is starving, even after the soldier’s, he’d eaten during their daring escape. A starving Wraith and a weak human do not mix well, no matter what John’s hopelessly hard cock has to say about it.

You Want It - John/Todd

John races across uneven ground, nearly slipping on the wet leaves that coat this canopied part of the forest. The blast of a Wraith stunner wizes past his temple and slams into a nearby tree. The red light shoots over its limbs and crackles out. John takes a sharp left, jumps over a rotting log, and darts behind an ancient tree, breathing hard. Jesus Christ.

But I Must Admit it, I Would Marry you in an Instant - John/Todd

He sensed John Sheppard coming down the hallway long before he opened the door. Wraith were like that; a careful ear pressed against the wall of a holding room could reveal so much about the ones who kept him prisoner. Todd heard the slap of Sheppard's feet against the City's floor, the unevenness of his breath, even the slight racing of his heart. Mostly, he sensed anticipation - and he knew what for.

NPT: @colonelshepparrrrd @chaos-monkeyy @anonmadsci @trainofcommand @mx-seraph

Creator Self-Promotion

Rules: post the first lines of your last 10 fics you posted. If you have less than 10 fics posted, post the first lines of all your fics.

"But K, I don't write but I still create can I still play?"

Post your last 10 pieces and give us a play by play. What was the inspiration? Any fun facts you can share with us?

Anyway let's get on with it

1. Fishing for Compliments - Merman!Crosshair x F!Reader

A sigh passed the young woman’s lips as the sun began to disappear beneath the waves. The waves rocked her quaint vessel as if it were a mother soothing her child. Her meal as well as a plate of identical food remained untouched as she kept her gaze to the depths. Every ripple of its surface a reminder of the mounting minutes that her company kept her waiting.

2. Drop Me a Line - Wrecker x F!Reader

The young woman stifled a yawn as she continued to work the mass of dough to her standards to be plopped into pans to bake. She continued working the dough sparing glances to the chrono on the wall as the sky outside began to lighten with the sunrise. Her pulse spiked when the chrono was checked again. She abandoned the lump of dough as she snatched up a pastry box. The bell chiming as the door opened and closed.

3. Budding Romance - Rex x F!Reader

“And you’re sure you’ll have them there.”

“A bit of faith would be nice, Anakin.”

4. Skin in the Game - Wrecker x OC (Rina) (18+ Please view responsibly)

Wrecker was on the hunt. Thankfully the Marauder held only a few spaces to hide away as he searched the ship. His target tucked away by the sensors. Vibroblade twirling between his fingers while his idle gaze stared at the screen. The demolitions expert took a breath, hoping to find answers.

5. Hair Support - Tup x Reader

The days of the Clone Wars tended to drag on in between assignments. Thankfully, the Republic saw it fit to dispatch your research team with a clone legion escort to ensure the lush jungle planet would not eat you and your colleagues alive. It was in the sweltering heat of the afternoon that one of your study binges was interrupted. You shook your head knowing who dared tread into your tent.

6. Interrogations - Echo x F!Reader (18+ Please view responsibly)

The former arc trooper sighed. Another fruitless attempt at slipping free of his bonds. The chair he was bound to chilled any amount of exposed skin. The room kept dark to prevent him from gathering his bearings. He bided his time, waiting for the tell-tale clicking of his keeper. It was a whisper at first but grew louder as the automatic doors parted.

7. Personal Tastes - Hunter x F!Reader

Strands of meat sizzled and spat as she flipped the tangled mass. Her work distracting from the pair of eyes watching you from the doorway. Her culinary tasks from the staccato chops of a knife to peppers to the accented clink of a mortar and pestle offered a calming tune.

8. Just This Once, Everyone Lives - Rex x Reader

Your bottom lip remained captured between your teeth as the speeder came to a stop. The building looming over the city streets twinkled in the night. A beacon for personnel to gather while dressed to the nines. A hand curled around yours, smoothing over your knuckles.

9. Keep Away - UniversityAU Wrecker x Reader

You filed out with your fellow undergrads as your last class for the afternoon let out. the professor's voice offering mention of the end of the first sprint. You traversed amongst the student body's current before veering off to a corridor. The current loosening its grasp the closer you ventured toward the sanctuary of paper and ink.

10. Nothing Fight - Crosshair x F!Reader

It could be easy to say Clone Force 99 had a culture separate from the sea of clones. Clone medics would be reassigned in the blink of an eye and nat born medics often assigned whoever pissed off the higher ups. This led to your current long term assignment. Having a medic on board being the main reason one of your patients was released to his squad early pending observations.

NPT - @photogirl894 @rain-on-kamino @tecker @techs-stitches @littlemissmanga @annwayne @fakegingerrights @merkitty49 @moodymisty @starrylothcat

Wanna promote your work here too? Do it!

[citykept]

TAG DROP ;; 

⤷  file  /  from the writer’s desk.

⤷  file  /  memes & sentence starters.

⤷  file  /  promo.

⤷  file  /  self promo.

⤷  file  /  interactions.

⤷  char.  /  portrayal notes.

⤷  char.  /  character study.

⤷  char.  /  visage.

⤷  char.  /  aesthetics.

⤷  rel.  /  teyla emmagan.

⤷  rel.  /  john sheppard.

⤷  rel.  /  carson beckett. 

⤷  rel.  /  peter grodin.

⤷  rel.  /  simon wallace.

⤷  rel.  /  rodney mckay.

⤷  rel.  /  doctordonovan  |  but even stars fight their own gravity.

⤷  rel.  /  doctordonovan  |  take my hand as we drown in the ocean; as we fall into eternity.

[bagheerita]

Writing Patterns (Tag Game)

Rules: list the first line of your last 10 (posted) fics and see if there's a pattern!

Thanks for the tag @chaniis-atlantis!! ❤

(I recently posted a bunch of my old fics to AO3, so doing this strictly by post date includes exactly 2 fics I've written in the last 14 years. So this is last 10 new fics posted to AO3, go:)

Wraithspeaker (SGA) First Scientist of the Tertiary hive sworn to the Commander-known-by-his-years-remembered-at-the-long-Siege-marked-by-the-Queen-in-recognition-for-his-prowess-in-repelling-the-Enemy-and-again-by-the-Queen-born-in-fire-and-marked-again-and-bound-to-the-human-John-Sheppard, stands at the interface in his workspace, checking that his underlings have finished entering the data from the tests run in the previous cycle.

Even Bad Wolves Can Be Good (Teen Wolf) Peter paces the room he's been confined to and has to admit that things aren't looking great at the moment.

(our heart’s a mess) But It's Our Only Defense, To Brave the Wilderness (SGA) Teyla and Ronon don't stop him as John walks past them out of the conference room.

What Can I Say, This House Is Falling Apart (SGA) The Phoenix settles into orbit above Atlantis and Captain Hicks reports, "Still no response to our hails."

Customary (SGA) “I believe among your people it is customary to shake hands?” The Wraith grins.

Jade (SGA) Jade has never known anything but the hive.

Since We've No Place to Go (SGA) PS4-987 is a nice enough planet when they first arrive.

Mushroom Hunting (SGA) The forest on M8A-C26 was cool, the air heavy with the scent of recent rain, and fallen leaves rustled under their boots as they walked away from the Stargate.

Where I Fit in the Picture (Holiday) Ned Seton was relatively sober as the clock chimed 3:00 but was not planning to stay that way.

Sunlight (SGA) The sun was a comfort on her skin as Teyla lay back in her chair, relaxing for the first time in what felt like ages, soaking in the warmth.

Patterns? (lol why did I decide to do this after I posted Wraithspeaker??🤣 I was throwing some conceptual stuff at the wall, because I feel like the whole way that Wraith understand the concept of "names" is so much bigger than the way that us spoken-language-people do. anyway) Um, patterns... I dunno. I usually write in present tense, but sometimes in past tense (which is not fun when I change my mind halfway through a fic 🤣😭). I do like to start the fic right away, no long prologues or information at the beginning, because when I read I tend to drop books that don't hook me in right away with something interesting so that reflects in what I write. Reading through these I do feel like I tend to establish location right away, too.

This was really interesting thanks for the opportunity!!

[spurious]

first lines meme

tagged by @hero-in-waiting, thank you!!

Rules: Share the first line of your last ten published works or as many as you are able and see if there are any patterns!

Going in reverse chronological order, the last ten things I've posted:

The Call ~900 words, rated G

Rodney gets the call at three in the afternoon on a Tuesday, the phone on his lab desk trilling to life and interrupting his train of thought.

Ink and Wings 2.7k words, rated E

It's simply not possible.

O I Think We Should Be Brethren 32k words, rated E

John figures out he's gay the summer he turns thirteen.

Five Times Rodney (and John) Visit the Millers 2.2k words, rated G

Jeannie isn’t sure why her brother has brought John Sheppard to her house with him.

Snap 1.7k words, rated E

John doesn't realize what's happened to him until it's way, way too late.

Down In Your Arms 2.4k words, rated E

The thing is, Rodney doesn’t think he’s seen John really let go: not yet, at least.

Better Odds 999 words, rated G

"Major."

Twenty Questions 7.7k words, rated M

"You know I'm gay, right?" John says one night, in between The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi, interrupting Rodney's frankly horrifyingly detailed recounting of his first experience seeing Princess Leia in the gold bikini.

Take What You Need 1.1k words, rated E

They're used to dealing with different planets looking at the four of them and making different assumptions—mostly, it's harmless, and following along is easier than making a fuss.

Disposable 1.6k words, rated G

Never thought I'd see any of you again.

Pattern-wise, the majority of my first lines also end up being my summary lines, so I guess they tend towards an establishing mode? Also kind of interesting to see that I seem to favor relatively shorter sentences for a first line.

It looks like most of the people I'd tag have already been tagged? But if you haven't been go ahead and do this and say I tagged you!!! If you want.

[vetinarivimesy]

Ooh rather love the Addamses additions. Morticia taking things so very literally at times is not one I'd have noticed by myself! (Though saddened by the usual attitudes to women shining through the fandom take on them...)

Continuing with the stargate mention from earlier and running with it. My own takes on the leads from the three shows -

Stargate SG-1 seconding Sam Carter. Yes yesss. Again in such a way that a significant chunk of the fandom Does Not Like Her, with the usual excuse that she's 'cold' blah blah. When, Sam is a relatively personable excitable geek and a half who'd happily infodump about her latest project at you for hours, but would happily parallel play projects in the same space for hours too. (See multiple incidents of her doing just that in her lab and in the field, and the prolonged time she worked on her motorbike with Walter.) When she gets the chance to make a not affected by chain of command issues, female friend in the form of Vala Sam seems to jump on the chance to show her non-Earthling bestie all her favourite Earth things. Not least because Vala doesn't mind the awkwardness in the slightest. Doesn't seem to care much about hierarchies, except when it gets stupid/in the way of science/what's right/wrong.

She always seems equally at home in her own company as well as happy to hang out with her chosen friends. The sciencey tendencies extend to being a bit of an infamous pool-shark at the local bar.

Stargate Atlantis, John Sheppard

I know I know I'm supposed to say Rodney McKay... Eh... Personally he hits too many of all of the worst stereotypes of Genius Therefore an Ass but it's Okay Because Genius trope for me to want him in the autistic character category. (Given the way the character gradually very transparently morphs from sexual harrasser villain of the week in SG-1. To interestingly flawed arse who's trying to do better in SGA whose own ego keeps tripping him up with a severe case of Main Character Syndrome. To can do no wrong gets the beautiful girl, and gets all the plaudits in a very self-insert style way come SGA season 5... Nope bit too aware of the behind the scenes stuff at play to want to give the character more analysis. I'm afraid I put him on the Sheldon Cooper end of the spectrum where if he is accidental representation he's borderline offensive stereotypical representation.)

Sheppard on the other hand? He's just continually an awkward bundle of humanity in just about every respect yet he's a respected leader with a strong sense of right/wrong (albeit one that doesn't necessarily match anyone else's idea of right/wrong...). His jokes can come across poorly. He can usually be found awkwardly slouched in a corner of a scene. Never quite works out when it's okay to talk back to superiors/not, has distinct issues with rules and authority figures that make rules that make no sense.

The perpetual awkward slouch, standing or sitting. 'Childish' hobbies, lots of them. The subtle implied very into sciencey/geeky things but hiding it characterisation (that eventually gets forgotten because of the aforementioned McKay Show issues). Sheppard's utter awkwardness with his own family. The way that even his very best friends who love and appreciate him very much say to his face he has no social skills and he agrees with them whilst awkwardly failing to have a heart to heart.

The few times we get to see him just hang out, he seems to appreciate just... sitting in a room with the other person doing separate activities/wanting to do activities rather than chatting. Happy to go off hiking or surfing for hours. Innapropriate reactions to dressing downs, flirting at innapropriate moments/never quite seeming to know what to do with flirting when it happens.

The way a hell of a lot of the hypnosis/related sci-fi gubbins just never seems to quite work on him the same way it does for everyone else. The way even parallel world Sheppard is also an awkward lump of a man who doesn't quite seem to know how to stand up straight or where to put his hands who has issues with authority figures strutting around. (Huh, unlike parallel Rodneys who all seem much more personable than OG-Rodney.)

Stargate Universe, Nick Rush, Dale Volker, Adam Brody, Lisa Park

Though I get most would probably say Eli - I personally view Eli as far too savvy of actual social interactions to dump him here, most of his awkwardness seems to stem from poor socialisation due to the personal circumstances with his mom that had him staying at home instead of finishing uni/his relative perceived youth/outsider status compared to the rest of the cast which he overcomes very quickly? (The teen drama on Earth episode with the fun Janelle Monae cameo doesn't count, the social weirdness there is because all the other characters are the horrible 1% political class, who mistakenly think he is too, and the love triangle plot that thankfully gets dropped fairly quickly.)

The established Science Team and Rush on the other hand? The Science Team, Brody and Volker especially, seem to do that rather neurodivergent friendship group thing of just sticking together to the scorn of everybody else who don't like that the 'weirdos' are all hanging out together. (This one comes from firsthand in hindsight, 'oh huh, wait we're all neurodivergent?' experience.)

Volker never does manage to stand up for himself against the military characters, even when he arguably should preferring to fade into the background with Brody. Even when they've spent so long in each other's pockets they can't stand the sight of each other the two have an impenetrable shorthand to outsiders, including jokes at innapropriate moments (including an incident of word repetition that's clearly gone on for... a while) to amuse each other to much scorn.

Volker struggles to open up with people about anything personal - to such an extent that he doesn't disclose a very serious medical condition until it requires an organ transplant.

Brody's favourite thing to do outside of the work is try and perfect his still. The social benefits of making the only booze on ship seem to be secondary to the hobby itself. AU!Time travel Brody (if it counts as an AU when it's the same universe) got fixated on the idea of Doctor Rush coming back to save them all to such an extent that he accidentally founded a religion about the idea. Just like Volker he's constantly a bit awkward with everyone outside the science-team group, and looked upon with no little amount of exasperated lack of patience by the non-science team members. Even though as one of the few engineers he's essential crew.

Doctor Park gets to be awkward and bubbly and brilliant, with innapropriate interjections, and tends to run off on long infodumps about her favourite topics/ramble into utterly unrelated topics that are only tangentially related to the initial discussion - frequently morbid tangents too. She doesn't seem to quite understand, or perhaps care, that sleeping with most of the ship might get awkward socially (which I love for her) and again mostly chooses to hang out with the science crew. She cares so much about the expansion of the hydroponics project that she risks her own life, and gets badly injured trying to rescue as many of the plants as possible.

Rush? Just doesn't seem to quite get how to be personable, and it doesn't seem to entirely be grief related. Many of the guy's repeated attempts to reach out to other members of the crew/bond with people get mis-read as manipulative/untrue and rebuffed, even pre his great big selfish Inciting Incident; shanghaing everybody on Icarus Base to Destiny.

He gets so caught up in his projects the social niceties go out of the window frequently, to constant tellings off/social repercussions, yet it keeps happening. Rush forgets to sleep, eat, and wash when caught up in a project. (And on Destiny there's so many projects...) Yet he's indespensible enough on the tech side of things that despite the resentment/wish to replace him, they can't. (Young tried to murder him, the time he was missing presumed dead, ended poorly for everyone with the ship in a worse state than pre-the stranding/murder attempt. Though Rush did take Chloe under his wing afterwards.)

The character backstory which all too often goes ignored in favour of fanon 'posh bastard because British' implies some degree of academic hyperfixation in play - given the whole very working class Glasgow docks, very obsessed with mathematics, scholarship to Oxford University (which would not have actually been required in this era pre-Thatcher and subsequently Blair taking away free uni in the UK but shh it's canon) whilst also working a job, and Rush shows a marked preference for his own company.

He displays that trait a lot of the world's top mathematicians describe of maths being music and vice versa. Which, probably how Rush first met/bonded with his musician wife. We also get to see the project he subsumed his grief into as she was dying, hyperfixating on this new task to avoid the emotions.

Yet he also very clearly gives a damn, despite understandable repeated rebuffs he goes out of his way to keep the crew safe/stand up for people when he stops trying and failing to be manipulative and sees things as unjust. His attempts at manipulation are transparent enough to be embarassing, so his genuine awkward efforts here tend to get viewed with suspicion. Yet on the occasions the non-science team members do take the time to actually talk to/listen to the guy? They get reasonable responses, almost as if shouting hate at a person isn't the way to get them to do what you want...

(Fascinating character, and a great foil to military leader Everett Young. The deliberate clash at the centre of canon here does tend to make it a Team Young v Team Rush marmite situation on the fandom side of things!)

Honorable mention to Ronald Greer here - canon-wise he's got a definite case of C-PTSD with all the sad longterm effects that implies. But his very strong sense of right and wrong (often to his own detriment, both in the chain of command sense punching a colonel, and the willingness to give an acquaintance at most a whole kidney), willingness to follow the rules even when they're seemingly stupid because they're the rules, and slow to earn but once earnt utter loyalty and willingness to hang around the science team do make me wonder about the character. Not to mention the very quick way he put together a flamethrower with duct tape and hope, completely overlooking everyone else's prolonged reaction of stunned incredulity in his excitement at the fun cool thing he'd gotten to work. Unfortunately for much of the show's early run Greer is your stereotypical angry black sergeant character - but by S2 he's showing signs of getting up to three dimensional and interesting... and oh no the show got cancelled.

All right, new game for fellow autistics: Reblog with your spicy autistic headcanons!

No “Sherlock Holmes” or “the dude from Fantastic Beasts”, I want the ones that you never say because you know that you’ll probably have to spend a million years explaining it to even other ND people and the thought exhausts you.

Mine is absolutely Caroline from The Vampire Diaries

[dedkake]

it could’ve started like this: a mcshep get-together per episode

22/100: the intruder | breaking point, t, .3k

“Time for a checkup with Beckett,” Sheppard says, bumping at Rodney’s bunk with his knee. Repeatedly. “Wants to confirm that we’re not burnt to a crisp. Or melting. Or completely irradiated. Something like that.”

read it on ao3 | entire series & notes

[girderednerve]

i have been watching the soap opera general hospital intermittently for the last couple years & although i can only identify maybe one-third of the characters currently on the show, i have to say that it's weirdly compelling. soap operas are great? approximately a quarter of the show is composed of extremely earnest almost-PSAs about things like alzheimer's and mental illness and bullying, and the rest of it is goofy nonsense. someone's brain got downloaded on a flash drive! there's a serial killer who jumped into niagara falls and cut off his own hand only to kill again! the sexy character is pretending not to date his longterm partner because she is busy infiltrating a cult! honestly it is a wild ride and everyone on it is so committed

[gaerlhoss-a]

TAG DROP  –  elizabeth weir

⤷  file  /  elizabeth weir.

⤷  elizabeth  /  character study.

⤷  elizabeth  /  characterization.

⤷  elizabeth  /  visage.

⤷  elizabeth  /  interactions.

⤷  elizabeth  /  rel.  john sheppard.

⤷  elizabeth  /  rel.  teyla emmagan.

⤷  elizabeth  /  rel.  maeve donovan  |  doctordonovan.

⤷  verse  /  here is where we decide if we stay and fade or test our reach.

[uwmspeccoll]

A Wood Duck Feathursday

There has been a profusion of Wood Ducks (Aix sponsa) down at the small fishing pond in Estabrook Park not far from our campus. Between ten and twenty Wood Ducks have taken up residence on and around a tiny island in this small pond. And they are not the only denizens; with many scores of species of birds, mammals, reptiles, amphibians, fish, insects and invertebrates, this tiny one-acre pond is one of the most biodiverse sections of Milwaukee County. But the Wood Ducks are the most colorful and showy, and therefore are the monarchs of the pond.

The pond, also called the Estabrook Lagoon, was dug out in the 1930s as part of the park’s landscaping and has remained relatively untouched since. Because of its biodiversity, it has been a focus of study for UWM biologists and students for over 30 years, and in 2015 UWM biologist John Berges received a grant from the National Science Foundation to study the pond and its processes to gain a greater understanding of aquatic ecosystems. Oh, those lucky Wood Ducks!

The image shown here is from Nests and Eggs of Birds of the United States by Thomas G. Gentry and published by J. A. Wagenseller of Philadelphia in 1882, and includes includes chromolithographs of around 50 paintings of North American birds, eggs, and nests by the American naturalist painter Edwin Sheppard.

View more posts with Wood Ducks.

View more posts from Nests and Eggs.

View more Feathursday posts.

[ragingpancake]

I Got You

A/N: I watched Echoes the other night and frankly, I just needed to write this. Sort of an unofficial sequel to The Road to Nowhere Leads to Me.

They’re almost back to Atlantis from the mainland when Rodney realizes that maybe something’s a bit off with Sheppard – er… John (and he has to remind himself to start calling Shep—John by his first name because this whole… thing between this is still relatively new and it’s probably not social acceptable for one to refer to one’s boyfriend by last name only). No one would ever really call him chatty, but this level of quietness is almost unsettling, especially when Rodney tries to goad him into some gentle bantering and he’s just not having it. “What’s wrong with you?” He asks finally as the city is just coming into view. “Huh?” Rodney squints, mouth turning down in a frown. “I certainly didn’t stutter, Colonel.” Maybe that’ll get his attention.

He waits a moment, and then two. Nope. Nada. The lights are on but nobody’s home. “… John.”

At that, John lifts a hand and presses the heel of it against one of his eyes, wincing and Rodney notices for the first time how not well the other actually looks. “I’ve just… got this killer headache that won’t go away,” he says and it actually sounds pained in a way that Rodney isn’t quite used to from him. He watches as John squints at the city in the distance. “Maybe I should take over?” For a split second, he thinks John might be considering it before he shakes his head. “Nah, s’alright. I know how much you struggle to fly in a straight line.” There’s the smallest hint of teasing in his voice but Rodney doesn’t rise to the challenge because it’s such a weak attempt on John’s part that he knows he’d absolutely assassinate John with a comeback and where’s the fun in that? “Are you sure? Because, because I’ve been in one of these things when it’s crashed into the water, if you remember correctly, and I really have no intention of repeating that, so if you aren’t feeling well, I’d rather just--.” “Rodney,” John says and now, there’s a trace of a bite to his tone. Wow. Hostile. “Okay, I’m just saying--.” “I know,” John says. “But it’s fine. I’ve got it.” Rodney resigns himself to believing that for about a split second until he glances over again and notices the blood dripping from John’s nose. “John--.” “Dammit, Rodney! I said I’m--.” And whatever lie John was about to tell dies on his lips as he slumps over, head smacking the console. Immediately, Rodney leaps into action, grabbing John before he slips out of the pilot’s chair to ease him down onto the floor, his head lulling to the side sickeningly. “Jumper 1, this is Atlantis, come in. Your course has drastically shifted.” Radek’s voice comes through the comm system in the jumper and Rodney suddenly realizes that no one is, you know, actually piloting. “I need a medical team to the Jumper Bay. Sheppard is down, I repeat, Sheppard is down.” He scrambles into the pilot’s chair and manages to jerk it upwards approximately three point five seconds before the jumper crashes into the ocean. “Rodney?” It’s Elizabeth’s voice now, and she sounds about as worried as Rodney feels. “Carson’s here. What happened?” “Can’t talk now! Trying to fly and not, you know, crash and send us both to our deaths in the horrifically vast ocean. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt.” “Rodney!” “Just have them standing by!” He cuts off the comm system and glances down at John who has not yet regained consciousness. “Please be okay, please be okay, please be okay.” It becomes his mantra as he somehow manages to navigate the jumper back to the city and into the bay. He barely has time to lower the door before a med team is swarming in and before Rodney has a chance to so much as breathe, they’re gone, John with them. There’s a small bit of blood on the floor from where John was laying and Rodney has to work very hard not to throw up. ---- It’s dark in the hallway, save for the faint blue glow emanating from the center of the wall closest to him. He reaches out, hand pressing against it and he can feel the thrum of hurt intensifying, adding to what’s already there in his head. He staggers at the force of it, drops to his knees and presses the heels of his hands against his eyes in an attempt to stave off the pounding of his head. But this isn’t his hurt, he realizes after a moment. It’s hers, and that thought alone is enough to force him back to his feet, hand reaching out to touch that blue light again. This time, he feels an almost burning heat fanning out from the center of his hand as the blue expands and he watches as it begins to creep across the wall, almost as if it’s beckoning him to follow. He’s never been good at following orders and he has the record to prove it, but he finds his feet moving, seemingly of their own accord, allowing the glow to lead him down the darkened hallway for what seems like forever until it stops, finally, at a room he doesn’t quite recognize. “Why am I here?” Because I need your help, she answers

back, the words cool and gentle within his mind. Find me, John Sheppard. Before it’s too late. “Before what’s too late? What are you trying to tell me?” But she’s already receding from his mind and all he’s left with is a light so bright that penetrates the darkness as John opens his eyes. --- Rodney’s there when John finally comes to under the bright lights of the infirmary. “Oh thank God,” he says as he slumps back into the chair, running a hand across his forehead. “Far be it from me to say I told you so, but--.” He doesn’t get a chance to finish before John is sitting up so quickly that it makes Rodney a bit dizzy, kicking the blankets off of his legs. “Whoa, whoa, whoa.” He stands up, pressing a hand to John’s shoulder to ease him back down onto the mattress and Ronon is on the other side of the bed, doing the same. “Where do you think you’re goin’?” The Satedan asks in his natural rumble. “I have to help her,” John says and Rodney suddenly finds himself a bit miffed at that. “Help who?” He asks and if he sounds a little pissy, he thinks he’s probably allowed because you know, he’s the one been sitting at John’s bedside for the last several hours, worried very much about the possibility of brain damage and now that he’s awake, the first thing he mentions is some second rate harlot and--. “The city,” he rasps and he grabs Ronon’s wrist, trying to force it off of him. “Something’s wrong with the city.” “What? The city is fine,” Rodney says, but he’s reaching for his tablet anyway, pulling up the city schematics to scan over quickly, searching for any indication that something was not right. “See?” He says, and he turns the tablet to face John so he can see for himself. “The back up teams cleaned everything up nicely, there’s absolutely nothing that would indicate--.” “Rodney,” he says and there’s an almost wild look in his eyes as he glances up at the scientist, seemingly pleading with him to just listen. “They missed something. There’s something wrong, we have to--.” “Aye,” Carson greets, a smile on his face. “There ya are. Ya had us quite worried there for a bit. I’d still like to run a few scans--.” Rodney tunes him out as he searches John’s face and he supposes that there is a possibility that something was missed. It’s a huge city, many parts that they’ve yet to explore and the Wraith attack had been devastating. He rationalizes that this could also possibly be attributed to some sort of brain injury, what with the bleeding and the passing out and everything but something in John’s eyes gives him pause. Whatever’s brought him to this conclusion, John seems to truly believe that there’s something wrong with their city, with their home and while Rodney isn’t apt to act without actual evidenced based data, he finds that he can’t quite let this go without investigating. “Stop,” he says, holding up a hand to Carson. “We need to go.” “Go? What are ye on about?” Carson asks, clearly annoyed at the interruption. “We still don’ know what caused the bleedin’ an’--.” “Something’s wrong with the city,” Rodney says, echoing John’s previous statement. “We have to go.” Ronon glances at Rodney from across John’s bed and when Rodney gives a barely there nod, Ronon crowds Carson, gently ushering him away. “Sorry, doc.” “Oh, ye can’t be serious! Rodney!” “Can you stand?” Rodney asks John, and he reaches for him, carefully like he’s not sure where it’s okay to touch, especially in public, but John’s hand grabs his wrists and he squeezes gently. “Thank you.” “If you really want to thank me,” Rodney says dryly, “you can do so by not passing out on me again during what is sure to be a long trip around the city. “I’ll do my best,” John answers solemnly and Rodney supposes that’s as good as it gets. --- It’s dark outside, the Lantean sun having set several hours ago. They’ve split up into groups, Ronon and Teyla, Lorne and McMasters, John and Rodney. They’ve had absolutely no luck in finding anything of consequence and Rodney is trying very hard not to lose his temper because he’s

tried to show John on the tablet several times now that everything still shows all is well, but John is insistent. Desperate even, only growing moreso the farther away they get from the heart of the city. “Teyla, Ronon, this is McKay. Anything?” “No, Rodney,” Teyla answers back almost immediately. “It seems as though everything is still working as it should over this way.” “Lorne?” “All good here, doc. I’m gonna suggest we call it, at least for the night. Some of these labs haven’t properly been cleared yet, I’d like to--.” “No,” John says and when Rodney glances over to give him an exasperated glare, he realizes that John’s nose is bleeding again. “John, what are you--!” “This is the hallway,” he tells Rodney, reaching up to wipe the blood away, smearing it to his cheek. “This is… she needs us…” He reaches out and touches the wall and Rodney watches as it pulsates under his hand, a blue glow flickering to life. He’s always known that Atlantis liked John better than she liked anyone else, has seen it in the way rooms light up for him, the effortless way in which John activates all her tech, but this… this is something else. She’s actually communicatingwith him, he knows it. “Three levels above the east pier,” Rodney says into his comm. “Teyla—” “We are already on our way,” and over the radio, Rodney can hear the heavy footfalls of their feet against the floor. Rodney doesn’t realize that John has walked away, not at first, until he turns to see the glow halfway down the hall, barely illuminating John’s figure as it guides him further into the darkness. Rodney follows, and suddenly, John stops outside of a door. “Is this it?” Rodney asks, but he already knows the answer to the question. He slides his hand over the crystal, but the door doesn’t budge, not that Rodney expected it to. “Okay,” he says, and his voice is gentle now, perhaps more gentle than it’s ever been, but there’s something about the pinched look on John’s face that honestly, truly worries him. It reminds him of how he looked on the jumper, right before he, you know, passed out. He checks his tablet, but he knows it’s a moot point because the city is off-line down here, which is why they never knew there was a problem. The sensors just don’t reach this far, but he thinks he should be able to still get the door open. “John,” Rodney says, and there’s no response. “John.” But John seems not to hear him as he reaches for the door, fingers gripping the edge as he tries, desperately, to pull it open. “Oh, oh. Yes.” Rodney puts the tablet down carefully and he moves to the other side, glancing at John to follow his lead and as John pulls again, the noise that escapes him sends a shiver down Rodney’s spine. He screams as the door finally slides open and now, Rodney notices the blood trickling out of John’s ear, just in time to grab John as he crumples, guiding him to the floor. “Rodney!” Teyla’s voice echoes down the hallway, and Rodney calls back, voice nearing on hystericalas he situates himself below John to pillow his head on his lap. “Here! We’re here!” Ronon comes into view first, gun aimed, followed quickly by Teyla. “We heard screaming, what—John?” “It’s Atlantis!” Rodney says, “She’s using John to communicate, there’s something--.” Ronon needs to hear no more as he slips through the opened door and a second later, there’s the sound of laser fire. Rodney’s petting over John gently, shaking him gently, pleading with him to wake up but it’s to no avail. Teyla has disappeared inside of the room that John brought them to and Rodney risks a fraction of a moment to lean down, letting his lips brush against John’s forehead. “Please, please, please wake up.” John resolutely does not. --- “Did we do it?” He’s somewhere quiet and he’s alone, but he can feel her around him, leaving him warm and comforted, reminding him very much of being wrapped up in his mother’s embrace when he was seven and had the flu. He remembers that because before coming to Atlantis, it was the last time he felt well and

truly loved because she’d died less than three weeks later. You did, and he closes his eyes, letting her warmth wash over him. The pain is gone, both his and hers, he realizes and there’s a feeling of contriteness that settles inside of him, like she’s saying she’s sorry and he guesses she means for basically hijacking his mind. But, as unsettling as it should be, he finds that he’s always known she was there, really. The gentle thrumming, the quiet humming of her power he feels tucked away somewhere in the back of his mind. She wasn’t trying to hurt him, he knows. It’s not just his found family that cares for him, not just Rodney… but her too. There will be no lasting damage, she promises him and the warmth begins to recede, just a bit. To either you or me. But please tell Doctor McKay not to be too angry with me. The darkness is fading now with her and he’s not really sure why she thinks Rodney would be upset with her. He tries to ask, but the feeling of a gentle hand in his hair, a quiet murmuring of voices, breaks through and John closes his eyes, letting it guide him out of the dark. Thank you once again, John Sheppard. You saved us all. --- “—still don’t understand how we didn’t know it was here,” Elizabeth says and Rodney has to fight not to roll his eyes because they’ve been over this, he’s explained it ad nauseum. “The life signs detector is tied in directly with the city’s power grid,” he says exasperatedly and he thinks about reaching for his tablet as a nice visual aide but somewhere along the way, his hand had settled into John’s hair and it’s so soft that he kind of doesn’t want to pull it away. He doesn’t know if it brings John any comfort, but it brings him some, feeling the warmth of the other under his hand and damn if he’ll let anyone take that away from him. Even at the sake of his own sanity for having to go through this again. “That part of the city still doesn’t get any power. No power means it can’t communicate with us. We never would’ve known.” “… never would’ve known what?” The raspy voice from the bed asks and Rodney very nearly topples out of his chair as he yanks his hand back, gaping down at John, and “oh, thank god!” “Wraith,” Ronon says by way of explanation, like it’s the most natural thing in the world and Rodney supposes maybe it is. After all, at least for right now, it’s the Wraith that’s proved to be their biggest pain in the ass. “Technically, a Wraith transmitter,” Rodney corrects and he can’t quite tear his eyes away. “The Wraith was.. well, indisposed, as it was. How are you feeling?” “What d’y’mean ‘indisposed’?” “It blew itself up when it realized that the room was heavily shielded and that the beacon couldn’t get through,” Ronon says and Rodney glares at him, because he’sthe one who likes to do all the explaining, thank you very much. “Blew a hole in the wall almost the size of a jumper.” “Yes, well,” Rodney says, steering the conversation back, “somehow, there was some sort of a fail safe built into the city’s infrastructure. There was a kind of a force field where the wall used to be, not unlike that of the cells, but with no power, it wouldn’t have held much longer. When it failed, that thing would’ve sent our coordinates to every Wraith hive ship in the galaxy and well, the ruse would’ve been up. But enough about that, how are you feeling?” “Kinda like I got hit by a truck,” John says and he shifts on the bed to sit up a bit more. “The transmitter’s been taken care of?” “Blasted into almost as many pieces as the Wraith,” Ronon says proudly and Teyla squeezes his arm gently. “We are very glad that you are awake, John,” she says diplomatically, “but perhaps it would be best if we let you rest?” “Whaddya mean? That’s all he’s been doing,” Ronon scoffs, but Teyla tugs at his arm anyway, bless her. “Come,” she says. “Elizabeth, perhaps I could help you in your office, go over the schedule for the teams set to search the rest of the city?” And whatever look she shares with Elizabeth has her nodding, turning to give them both a

smile. “Of course, thank you Teyla,” she says and she reaches out for John, squeezing his arm gently. “Good to have you back with us, John.” John lifts a hand in response as everyone filters out, leaving him and Rodney alone. “You’re an idiot,” Rodney says, just because it’s expected of him, has become part of their standard routine whenever John lands himself in the infirmary. “For what?” “Oh, I don’t know, for letting a sentient city scramble your brains.” “She said she’s sorry, you know,” John says and Rodney rolls his eyes. “Of course she did. And when did we decide that she was a sheafter all? I suppose it makes sense, what with the way women across twogalaxies fawn over you, the famous Colonel Kirk.” “It’s okay to be jealous, Rodney.” “Excuse me? I am not jealous! I just think it’s a little funny that--.” “She even said she hopes you’re not too mad at her,” John interrupts. “What? Why would she care about that?” “I dunno,” he shrugs and he lays back against the pillow, closing his eyes. “Guess she knows how important you are to me. Probably wouldn’t wanna get in your bad graces…” He still can’t get used to this, this… thing. Where they care about each other, but have finally matured enough emotionally to say it out loud. “Yes well,” Rodney sniffs, and settles his hand back against John’s hair, “I’ll forgive her this time. But you tell that harlot--!” “Rodney,” John groans, “she said she’s sorry.” “Alright, alright,” he says and he leans forward, maybe a bit hesitantly, before he presses his lips against John’s. “I’m just… glad you’re okay.” “Yeah,” John agrees. “Me too, buddy. Now how about less talking and more hair petting?” Frankly, there’s nowhere else Rodney would rather be. “Go back to sleep, dummy.” “With pleasure.”