#❝ PEN MY PLOT ❞ ── miya

[kokonoiis]

─── I SAID LOOK AT ME, GIRL INITIATION bonten x fem! reader ( 18+ MDNI ) 21.3k words you condemned three men to death tonight, or something worse than death, and there was nothing you could do about it but keep moving forward, digging yourself into a deeper and deeper hole until you could no longer see the sun. but you kept reaching up anyway, ever hopeful that you’d feel the warmth on your skin one day.

that day wasn't going to be today. how lucky for you, you've been promoted.

YOU CAN FOLLOW SIMPLE INSTRUCTIONS, RIGHT ? ─── active characters ﾉ hajime kokonoi, haruchiyo sanzu, ran haitani, rindou haitani, takeomi akashi mentions of ﾉ mikey sano, kakucho, kanji mochizuki

WHOEVER BETRAYS BONTEN WILL EVENTUALLY BECOME SCRAPS, TOO tags ﾉ dubious consent , degradation , praise , gangbang , power imbalance , pain play , exhibitionism , voyeurism , groping , mention of drug usage ( sanzu ), mentions of alcohol ( takeomi & rindou ), sadism , masochism , dacryphilia , size difference , violent sex , oral ( m. receiving ) spit kink , asphyxiation , fear play , face fucking , mind break , coercion almost , free use , violent language , unprotected sex , handjobs , misogyny ( takeomi ) , slutshaming ( takeomi, again ), bukkake , insults , mean characters , throat bulge , breath play , borderline unconsciousness , hair pulling , suspension , overstimulation , mentions of a breeding kink , multiple orgasms , mentions of a collar , dry humping just a little , humiliation , control , spitroasting , nipple play , canon typical violence , mentions of death several times , gang antics with bonten , and more..!

You were good at listening to orders. one of the best, in fact. It was more than just rare for you to mess up a direct order given to you by one of the executives above you, and that made you the perfect pawn. You could be molded into anything they needed at the time, the perfect canvas for crimson red handprints to cover your body. 

Innocent wasn't exactly the word, it was more like naive, and belligerently hopeful, even when you faced the worst. It was like you couldn't really see the world around you, not completely anyways.

" Sir, " you took in a deep, shaky breath, holding the manila folder in your hand as you walked into Hajime Kokonoi’s office, knowing you'd delivered exactly what you had been told. Even if it came at the cost of other people's lives. " I have the names. "

" Good, good, " Kokonoi didn't even bother to look up from his desk, his throwaway laptop open with the screen away from you, making it impossible for you to see what he was working on, but you thought that it was better the less you knew about what he did for work considering what he had you doing for work. " How many ? "

" Three, " you announced, sitting the manila folder down. For such a simple interaction right now, this had taken more restless nights and more dangerous situations than you really wanted to let yourself think about. It almost felt like it was downplaying and trivializing your efforts. To be fair, it was. 

Sniffing out traitors wasn't an easy job – whether it was checking money wires, phone calls, tailing people, reaching out through connections and plenty of ' friends of a friend ‘ – getting these three names had taken about three weeks of your life that you weren't going to get back. 

You felt blessed by some god that you knew wasn't looking that you didn't have to pull out the gun you kept on you nearly at all times, although you had needed to talk your way out of a situation that could've ended in bloodshed more than once.

" The names ? "

" ..Shinatsuro Kamo, Mikane Shuichi, Chihara Fumihiko. Two of them are in your shell IT company, different branches though. One of them worked as a bartender in the Haitani brothers’ strip club, " you explained in a soft voice, crossing your arms, trying to show that you were just as serious about this as he was. You'd figured out a long time ago that showing pain was nothing more than a big red target on your back, and you had enough eyes watching you for now. " All three of them were connected to the same mole. From what I know, they don't know about each other, at least not their identities, although they may be aware that there are other rats. "

" Did they even try to cover their tracks ? tch. " Gently closing his laptop, Kokonoi grabbed the manila folder, looking through the files you'd put in there. 

Birth certificates, addresses, current pictures of their identity cards, check stubs. You had it all there. None of that was easy to get a hold of, especially not when each of them had more than one different name they went by. But you tailed their trails until you got to their birth names, and had it all down. You even had pictures of one of them from middle school with the worst haircut you’ve ever seen on a kid. 

" You did good. its thorough work for only three weeks with only a vague notion of where to go. "

" Yeah. You'd think next time I might get a bit of hint, " you joked softly, and you swore you heard Kokonoi chuckle a little bit, his hand reaching over and tucking his straight white hair behind his ear as he read through the files, sorting things out on his desk. " Going through the entire list of Bonten's higher ups wasn't easy. "

" The entire list ? "

" Mostly. I knew better than to look into the executives, but I had to check anyone below your status, " you backtracked to answer his question quickly, knowing damn well that if you ever looked into the executives above you, you were as good as dead. The cops would never find your corpse and no one would remember your name. 

Being wiped off of the face of the planet wasn't exactly in the plans of a good night for you, not after all of that work. It had been the worst mission you'd been sent on yet, but you completed it hopefully with flying colors.

" That's good, " Kokonoi sat out the three I.D card copies, examining each one of them. He didn’t outright deny your thought process, but you knew that he didn’t need to. There were some open secrets in Bonten that everyone knew without needing to talk about them. " So these are the men ? And you're sure of that ? "

" If you don't trust me, trust the trails they left behind. "

" We'll have to double check your work, " he pointed out, although with each file that he pulled out, he seemed more and more convinced that you were right in your deductions, which is what you were hoping too. You knew that there was a chance something didn’t add up, that you could be wrong, even with all of the hard work that you put in to get this information. It was small, but this was life and death. " Can't just send men to die without a checks and balances system, right ? "

" Who's going to be checking my work ? " you tried your best not to think about the fates of the men that you were damning, but failing miserably. You hoped that it show on your face.

" Sanzu. "

" So they're dead. " There was no way that Sanzu was going to go the silent path of making sure that all of the trails led up properly. No, he was going to get the answers out of them with chains and saws and pliers. Whether they were guilty or not, they were as good as dead. Death might be a mercy for them if they’re stuck with Sanzu.

Hopefully, you thought, they would give up quickly and spill everything out before Sanzu really got to having fun. Once that happened, who knows how long he would play with them until Mikey gave his orders to finally end their lives. Could be hours, could be days. You hoped that they weren’t as dumb as they seemed. If they can’t cover themselves up properly, at least they could give up easily.

" Well, " Kokonoi put all of the files away back into the manila folder, closing it and sitting it to the side of his otherwise pristine desk. His voice almost sounded light, like he was laughing about it, although his face was still mostly neutral. Kokonoi was hard to read – it wasn't like he was crazy like Sanzu, or quiet like Mikey and Kakucho. No, he was witty and sarcastic, but he was so in the way that it wasn't really actually funny, just dark. Just actually depressing. He told the truth and covered it up with a smile. " You never know, maybe he's feeling merciful. Either way, you'll be there when Mikey decides what to do with them. "

" Ah, thank you, Sir. what an honor, " you couldn't stop yourself from sounding a little bitter about it, knowing that you would witness the culmination of your hard work and honestly, you didn't really want to. Listening to three men that you brought down to Sanzu's favorite warehouse cry and scream out in pain wasn't exactly your idea of a good time, but a direct order was a direct order, and you weren't about to mess up just because you didn't want to. There was plenty of things that you've done that you can't exactly say that you're proud of, and you just thought you were going to add this one to the list.

" We'll see to it that you're there. It'll be your first time in the warehouse, right ? " Kokonoi asked, although he already knew the answer, " I believe it's time to talk to Mikey about making it official. "

" It ? "

" Your work here, I mean. "

" I've done a lot of unpaid labor if this is just the internship, " you mumbled underneath your breath, earning a curious quirk of Kokonoi's eyebrow, but he didn't say anything about your attitude. He was one of the few executives you could talk to like a normal person and he wouldn't paint the walls with your brains.

" You're sort of more like a secretary right now, " Kokonoi clarified, steepling his fingers together and sitting his chin on them, a strand of his hair that he had just pushed back already falling into his eyes as he looked up at you, his sharp eyes taking in your appearance as if he were dissecting you piece by piece, and maybe he's thought about it before. You could never be sure with the Bonten executives just how deep their contempt for humanity ran. " Granted, the papers you bring me aren't exactly just the weekly wealth management reports, but more.. unique to your position, I should say. "

" Despite the others' strengths, there's only one within the executives that's particularly good at sniffing out rats, " Kokonoi continued after your silence, " So it only makes sense that you worked directly underneath me during your time here, given what you do. But to continue your job in a more effective manner, you should be.. promoted, in a sense. Instead of me being the middleman, giving you orders from Mikey, you should get them directly from him instead. Cut out the middleman and there's less room for error. There's no way any information can get lost in translation and cause errors to occur. "

What a professional and roundabout way to say that now, if you fucked up, it would be on your head, and he didn't want to risk having his name attached to your line of work. " I see. so you're wanting to ' promote ' me to executive directly underneath Mikey, instead of working just for you. "

" Precisely. I knew you were smart, " he smiled, eyes narrowing as he watched you shift your weight from one foot to the other, feeling a little awkward underneath his gaze. " I still need to suggest it to Mikey, but I'm sure there's going to be little pushback. He's seen the work you've done before this. Everything goes back to him, after all. "

Mikey has eyes and ears everywhere, that much you knew. You, very much so, were considered one of them. Not only did you look out for others within your ' position ' you also were watched by them. You were just particularly good at your job, it seems. What a lucky soul you were, living this life.

" Yes, Sir. "

" Wonderful. Then you're dismissed until a later notice, secretary, " he straightened up, the term slipping from his lips more like an insult than anything else, finally glancing back down at his laptop in front of him, opening it up to continue what he was doing before you came in. " You'll hear word from someone about what's going to happen and when. Be there, although I have no doubt that you won't. "

" Yes, Sir. " You repeated once again, and turned on your heels, your footsteps echoing as you headed towards the door, trying to hold your head high and keep your posture as straight as possible. If there was one thing you were good at other than executing orders given to you, it was keeping up appearances.

" Oh, and one more thing before you go. There's a lady acting up from one of the Haitani brother's clubs, could you check up on her for me ? I believe she's been starting some unfortunate whispers about your connections to me, and I'd like to have that squashed as quick as possible. "

Ah, she thought the two of you were fucking. It was understandable, everyone within a certain ranking knew who you answered to, and who you spent most of your time around, and that included the managers of the Haitani brother's clubs, who often had to answer to Kokonoi for their revenues. You were sure that one had seen you come in or out of Kokonoi's office and tried to connect the dots. 

In fact, you were almost sure you knew exactly who it was: the man who tried to hit on you and you shot him down relatively quickly. You'd been tired that day and didn't even want to entertain the thought of men, especially not one as sleazy as he was, so you may have sounded a little ruder than you anticipated. 

Perhaps he took your denial and then saw you come out of Kokonoi's office and tried to connect the dots to make his ego feel better. What was his name ? Atsuku Tsukima, you were fairly sure. You had most people who were in higher positions in Bonten memorized already, it just sort of came with the job after combing through their names for hours on end. You'd have to pay him a little visit, and check up on that girl of his. 

You also figured you might have to check up and ask why he was telling some random girls at his club about the business of people that he has no right to stick his nose in, too. 

" Yes, Sir. “ You answered him one last time, your hand on the door handle as you turned your head to throw him one more look, finger already holding down the lock so you could push it open. “ I’ll return in a few hours with an update for you. I don’t think she’ll be saying much more about it anymore after tonight. “ 

“ I don’t believe so, either. “ 

Looks like you could sit down your hopes of getting an early day tonight. Of course you had to run around for one more errand before you could really call your day complete, just to get up and do it all over again tomorrow. 

Once you walked through the door, you could feel it all coming back to you at once, like a rush of all of the emotions you’d suppressed to the best of your ability. The fear, the sickness in the pit of your stomach, the regret. 

You condemned three men to death tonight, or something worse than death, and there was nothing you could do about it but keep moving forward, digging yourself into a deeper and deeper hole until you could no longer see the sun. But you kept reaching up anyway, ever hopeful that you’d feel the warmth on your skin one day. 

That day wasn’t going to be today. 

Just barely three days after you delivered your report to Kokonoi, you were told the date and the time that you were expected to be in the warehouse with the presence of the other executives, and the leader of the whole organization. You knew that this day was coming, but you honestly could say that you were kind of hoping that Sanzu struggled to find them for a little while longer, if only to put off your own discomfort. But of course, you hadn’t let anyone find out that you were snooping around to the traitors, so the three men had no idea what was happening and probably continued with business as usual. 

You’d known about the warehouse, and even knew the general location and its main use before you’d even been there for the first time. It was just an old storage facility for a car manufacturer that Kokonoi had a hand in. Technically, the warehouse was Kokonoi’s property, but Sanzu spent more than his fair share of time within the uninsulated metal walls. 

You’d only met Sanzu once, and that was a very short time when you were delivering something to Kokonoi and Sanzu just happened to want to chat with him at the same time. 

Even then, you understood early on not to fuck with that man. He was unhinged, with more screws loose than anyone else within Bonten that you knew. Looking at him in the wrong way could potentially mean that you were liable to get your neck snapped in half like a twig, if he was feeling generous that day. 

A few of the Bonten executives you’d never met before were there, as well as Mikey, the leader of it all. You knew of him, heard stories about the kind of person he was through the grapevine, although you could never tell if they were the truth or fiction, even saw his face a couple of times. You’d heard about the man who was once called the Invincible Mikey, who was now a shell of a man and apathetic towards anyone and everyone. 

But you’d never been face to face with him before, and you never really could say that you really wanted to, either. You were perfectly okay with being unnoticed by all of these people that you knew you’d soon be meeting. Or at least, you weren’t important enough to be a name that they saw more than once or twice, with the exception of Kokonoi. 

If someone became important enough that several of them were looking into your name, you usually didn’t live long after that. Usually, that means you did something very, very wrong.

The warehouse was a sweaty cold the moment that you walked inside of it. A large open space, with plenty of crates and carts and parts strewn around. Things underneath tarps that you were smart enough not to look at too closely, especially if something brownish red was leaking out from underneath. It wasn’t insulated, and didn’t have any air conditioning, either, making it just uncomfortable to be in for longer than needed. You felt your fingers and the tip of your nose getting cold, and the bones inside of you rattled a little as you took in a shaky breath. 

Walking forward through the surprisingly well lit yet dusty atmosphere, your footsteps echoed against each wall, sounding a thousand times louder than you were actually walking. There was no way that anyone wasn’t aware of your presence by now, not that you were really hiding your presence to begin with. You weren’t brave enough to try to sneak up on anyone here. Towards the back, you only halfway knew what to expect. You could already smell it when you came in.

The three men you personally condemned were there, dirty, bloody rags tied in their mouths, their arms tied behind their backs with duct tape wrapped around their bodies. Each man was crying hysterically; one, you were sure, even pissed himself. You could smell the stench of urine before you even got a good view of what was going on. There was a cart next to the men with a saw on it, some pliers, unidentifiable chunks of meat that you really didn’t want to look at for too long, knives, scissors, a lighter, and some matches. 

Sanzu was definitely having his fun, and you had the realization that they’d probably been caught the moment you left Kokonoi’s office. You wouldn’t be surprised if forwarding the information to him was the first thing that Kokonoi did after you left. Which probably meant that these men have been in here for days. 

The executives each stood around, some of them looking bored, and others looking on with interest, less about the men being tortured and more about what was actually happening to them. Sanzu stood above them with a gun in his hand, his second favorite choice of weapon, although you were almost positive that he didn’t necessarily care what was in his hands as long as he was able to cause mayhem. 

“ Ah, welcome, “ Kokonoi was the first one to greet you, his hands in his long red shirt’s pockets. You really never realized just how detailed the gold embroidery in his outfit was until you look at it glittering in even the mustiest of areas. Compared to everyone else, Kokonoi stood out the most to you, but that was also perhaps because you knew him the longest and you were the most comfortable around him than anyone else. 

You found yourself gravitating towards Kokonoi before you really even told your feet where to go. With everything going on around you, Kokonoi was the safest option. You held your hands behind your back, one of your hands holding onto your wrist, tilting your head as you looked up at Kokonoi. “ You haven’t been waiting long, I hope ? “ 

“ Not long at all, I believe you’re early, actually, “ he mused, not really caring enough to check the time on his watch. “ I thought you would arrive by the time Sanzu finished off the traitors, but Mikey hasn’t given his order yet. Maybe he was waiting for you. “ 

“ Maybe, “ you agreed easily, nodding slightly as you took a look around. The Haitani brothers were sitting on some metal cargo crates, with the younger brother, Rindou, looking a little bored, a small pout on his lips as he watched Sanzu move around the three sniveling traitors. 

To the side, was a man you didn’t know with a scar across his face, but you knew he was important. He looked like he would be hard to approach, and he wasn’t even watching Sanzu, his eyes were just on the floor, looking down at his own feet perhaps. He didn’t look bored, just indifferent to it all, like he would rather be anywhere else but here.

Close behind Kokonoi was a tall, huge blond man, his expression unreadable. It looked like he hadn’t even taken notice of your presence, or that he was looking past you. He didn’t really look like he was watching Sanzu, either. He looked lost in his own world, his eyebrows knitted together in concentration. 

Towards the back, there was a short man sitting down munching on some takoyaki, not even facing the rest of them, and a man close by him with a jacket on but no shirt staring at the exit as if he were already ready to go. 

The three men tied to the ground were writhing around in their pity, trying desperately to free themselves from the situation, fighting against the duct tape hopelessly. Seems one of them had a missing eye, and the other’s leg was busted completely. 

Sanzu laughed, leaning back almost morbidly and dropping a pill from his hand into his waiting, open mouth. Swallowing it, he screamed at the top of his lungs. “ Bring down bonten’s hammer of judgment on the traitors ! “ You thought it was an odd thing to say, but you weren’t going to say that out loud or you definitely would be next.

Sanzu leaned down to the ear of one of them, his finger pressed up against his pursed lips, “ Shh, shh, shh ! Pay attention to Mikey’s words ! “ He looked over his shoulder, his piercing gaze going right through you as he waited for the command of the man eating the takoyaki. 

“ Kill them. “ Mikey’s empty voice was so soft you barely heard it, but it was still audible, if only barely. And that’s all that Sanzu needed. 

You closed your eyes for the next few seconds, wanting to turn to hide, but unable to do that. The three gunshots rang out so loud it buzzed in your head as if you were the one who got shot. It sure did feel like you had, anyways, with the way that your heart lurched in your chest. The stench of blood permeated throughout the area, sinking into your nostrils, choking you with the scent of metal. 

“ Those who don’t fit in Bonten are scraps..! “ This time, you could feel his gaze on you before you even opened up your eyes, tearing you apart. He was directly talking to you, the newcomer within the executives, that much you didn’t need to be a genius to figure out. 

You sucked in a breath, feeling your hands shake behind your back, but you refused to mentally acknowledge that you were scared. If you did, there was a chance the persona you’d seemingly perfectly crafted could unravel at any time, and you were sure that wouldn’t end well for you. No, it was better if you pretended you were unaffected by everything, at least for now. You just had to hold out.

“ Make sure to clean up the dead bodies, “ the man with the scar on his face called, the look on his face best described as apathy. He didn’t look like he cared, nor that he really felt any type of way at all. There was no emotion behind those heterochromatic eyes, just tiredness. Exhaustion that went bone deep. You sort of knew how he felt, but it was still unsettling to look at in front of you.

“ Crush and freeze them. Turn them into fish bait, “ the blond man behind Kokonoi suggested, earning a small chuckle from the older Haitani brother. 

You knew about Ran and Rindou, who had killed when they were children and it just went downhill from there. They’d been on the path of bloodshed since they were kids, but their story wasn’t particularly unique. 

Kokonoi was on the same path since he was young, too, who you’d heard bits and pieces about during your time working underneath him. He’d been a financial treasurer since he was a child, always controlling the puppets around him to do the dirty work for him. If he could help it, Kokonoi never had to lift a finger, he just had to hold out his hand for the profits and keep his finger on the pulses of the most income, no matter what was bringing that money in. 

“ Keep it in your heads, everyone, “ Kokonoi gave you a little smile, his voice holding a hint of a dry, dark joke in there, “ Even between us, whoever betrays Bonten will eventually become scraps too. “ He leaned in close, until his nose was inches away from yours. “ That’s how Bonten works. “ 

You didn’t think you needed the reminder, but the words chilled you to your core anyways, as if you were learning for the first time what kind of organization you worked for.

You kept your head straight ahead, looking at him in the eyes, but you couldn’t stop yourself from swallowing hard, letting out a small shaky exhale through your nose, giving him all that he needed to know about how you were feeling right now. 

“ We have her to thank for bringing these traitors to light, right ? “ Ran asked behind you, not moving from his spot as he examined the way your hands shook behind your back, and you were glad he didn’t mention it. “ If she’s here, then that means.. oh, it wouldn’t happen to be her initiation, right ? “ He said it like he didn’t know, but you were sure that they had all been briefed beforehand about your arrival.

“ I swear, it’s like Sanzu gets to have all of the fun, “ Rindou shook his head, sounding a little annoyed that he had no part of the action yet. “ Where’s her tattoo going to be ? Has Mikey decided it yet, or is someone else choosing for her this time ? “ 

“ Mikey said that it needs to be on her chest so it stays hidden when she’s out and about, “ Kokonoi answered simply for you, finally moving away from your face to look at the Haitani brothers. “ It’s important that her tattoo isn’t easily spotted, so it has to go in a spot that most people would cover up. “ 

Finally interested in what was being talked about, Rindou’s eyes widened, and he almost looked excited, his eyes going wide with a goofy grin on his face, “ No way ! We’re putting the tattoo in between her tits ? “ 

“ That’s what the boss said. “ 

While you were occupied with listening to the conversation, Sanzu was moving along behind you, tucking the gun into the belt of his pinstripe pants. You could hear him moving about with the way that each of his steps echoed throughout the warehouse, but you didn’t dare to look back at him. Not yet, at least, unless you found yourself looking at something that maybe you didn’t want to see. 

“ Hey, Mochizuki, come help me with these goddamn bodies ! “ Sanzu yelled out, his voice strangely cheerful as if he were saying something completely normal. “ Since it was your genius idea to freeze them, you should be the one to pack them up into the cart so I can take them somewhere they’d freeze later. “ 

You thought it was just the way his voice carried that made him seem like he was closer than he actually was, but a hand smacked down on your shoulder, quickly jerking you back to look up at Sanzu. “ Can’t have the stupid little secretary getting sick while we tattoo her, yeah ? ..Is secretary the right word for you, or does snoop work better for you ? Since all you do is find people and bring them to me for me and Mikey to judge. Ah, I can’t tell which one works better. Maybe they both fit you. “ 

You kept quiet, letting him ramble on about what mildly insulting title fit you best, but you could feel the color drain from your face as you were brought face to face with this killer. Sanzu was insane. There wasn’t a single part of him that could ever even remotely be considered normal by any standards. He’d lost all of his marbles so long ago that you weren’t sure if he even remembered a time that he had a coherent thought that wasn’t about his next fix of murder or drugs. Not that you could ever in your life voice these opinions out to him, unless you wanted to end up as fish bait. 

“ I’m going to be doing your tattoo today, it’s a pleasure, “ Sanzu grinned lazily right in your face. His pupils were dilated, and he looked a little unsteady, but he kept himself relatively straight, rolling his neck and tilting his head as he got a better look at your face. His neck popped several times with a sickening crunch, and you wondered briefly if it had to hurt, or if he could even feel it. “ This is yours, Kokonoi ? “

“ Yeah. She worked underneath me. “ 

“ Underneath you ? “ 

“ ..Yeah. “ 

“ Hm. Ooookay, “ Sanzu didn’t say anything else, pulling himself away from you and turning right on his heels to help Mochizuki, the man with the blond hair, so you’d learned, with moving the bodies into a crate for later use. You looked up at Kokonoi, trying to keep your face neutral and honestly failing pretty badly at this point. 

You were terrified not only of Sanzu, but also about everything that was going on around you. This was more than you were expecting, and possibly even worse than anything you could’ve imagined so far. You weren’t sure if it was the cold or the absolute terror in your body that made your limbs feel like they were going numb. You couldn’t think, using the last of your resilience to stand up straight and not break down where you stood. 

“ I think that means he likes you, “ Kokonoi mentioned casually, either unaware of your feelings or simply uncaring about them. you didn’t know which, but it was better you didn’t ask. 

“ Maybe he’s trying to see how long it takes for you to snap ! “ Ran called out, laughing a little at his own words, and earning himself a chuckle from his younger brother. You were sure you really didn’t need to hear that. Maybe Ran was the one who wanted you to snap, maybe they all were waiting for the moment where you just gave up, but you weren’t going to do that. You just had to get through this tattoo and then you were going to get the hell out of there. 

You’d worry about the next executive meeting when it came down to it. But all of this in one night was far too much for you. You brought those men to this warehouse in the first place. Although you weren’t the one who pulled the trigger, you were the one who put the red target on the back of their heads anyways. Their murders were on your hands as much as they were on Sanzu’s. You’d think after all of this time within Bonten, you’d have your head on straight and would become numb to the feeling of blood slipping through your fingers. 

You did not.

“ She doesn’t really look like a killer to me, “ Kakucho shook his head, barely giving you a glance before he passed on his judgment to you. “ She’s better as an informant than with the actual gun, but having her in the executive ranks was up to Mikey. He has a better idea on what’s best for Bonten than anyone else. “ 

“ I think she could kill ! If she was pushed far enough ! We could push her and see what happens, “ Rindou chimed in with a little nod, pretty proud of himself for his observation of you. 

You had to think for a second, your eyebrows knitted together in concentration as you thought about it. Could you kill ? Could you pull the trigger on someone else’s life and cut it short ? You didn’t know. Sure, you’d hurt people before, and maybe those injuries had left them to die, but you’d never seen the lights fade from someone else’s eyes. You weren’t sure you wanted to, either.

You were learning pretty quickly that there was a lot of things that you didn’t know, and a lot of things that you didn’t want to know.

You did know, however, that all of the men within the warehouse was staring at you, judging you, picking you apart and trying to see what made you tick inside. Trying to see everything about you, the good, the bad, the wrong, the ugly. Even without their eyes directly on you, you knew you were being watched. That you were always tabbed no matter what you did or where you went. 

And these men were not the type of people to take notes and then go find someone else to deal with any potentially incorrect behavior, they were the reprimanders. They were the ones who ended the lives of plenty of people every single day. Innocents, bystanders. Anyone. Everyone. No one was safe from Bonten’s grip.

And you so naively had walked right into their hands. 

They would take your wings and rip them off of your body so you could never fly again, so you would be stuck in the pits of hell just like they were. Even sicker, is that they knew you would come to enjoy it after a time. a caught animal never outgrows its cage, after all. You were nothing more than an animal for them, a pet. And you were about to get permanently branded as one, too. 

The realization hit you harder than you cared to admit.

“ Come on ! Sit, sit ! Don’t waste more of my night here ! “ you hadn’t realized that Sanzu was back now without Mochizuki, and he had grabbed a metal folding chair, slapping it down a few feet in front of you. 

He tapped the back of it a few times, letting you know that he was getting impatient with you just standing there and staring at him, although it’s only been a few seconds now. You swallowed hard, moving over to take a seat on the chair, feeling the cold of the metal even through the fabric of the pants you were wearing. 

Now that you were sat, the world within this warehouse felt a lot larger than you’d previously thought. You could see how high the ceiling was, and could feel how absolutely suffocating the freezing air around you truly was. You couldn’t breathe in deeply without the lingering scent of blood and the overwhelming scent of something molding and rotting. Every breath you took stung your lungs, the cold having seeped into your skin and reaching the marrow of your bones. 

“ Gotta find my tattoo gun and get everything ready. you sit there and look pretty, “ Sanzu sneered out, hand clapping on your shoulder once before turning around to do exactly what he said he was going to do. You knew that this was likely not exactly the safest way to get a tattoo, nor would it be the easiest to deal with. 

He was a few feet away when he turned back for a second, his face surprisingly serious when he stared at you. “ Oh, and take off that shirt and bra or I’ll rip the shit off of you when I come back. “ 

Not a single part of you wanted to take off your shirt, but you found yourself with your fingers nimbly working on the buttons of the white dress shirt you were wearing anyways. Whether it was out of fear or out of habit to follow orders, you weren’t sure, and you weren’t going to think too much about it, either. 

The fabric slipped off of your shoulders, and you twisted over to have it cover the back of the chair so you didn’t have to press your back against the cold bare metal. 

You took off your bra slower, fumbling with the front clasp before shrugging it off of your arms, letting it drop onto the dirty floor. instinctually, you covered your chest up, wrapping your arms around your tits. But you already knew that your attempt at modesty did nothing. Everyone who was looking already saw. 

You couldn’t make eye contact with anyone, your head down, looking at your lap while you waited sort of patiently. There was no way this was going to take longer than twenty minutes, and then you could put your shirt back on and never think about it again. 

In between all of the genuine fear and lightheadedness that you felt, you also felt a pit in the bottom of your stomach form, tightly coiled but barely noticeable or distinguishable from the other coursing emotions rushing through you. In your haze, you didn’t think about it, didn’t even acknowledge that it was there. 

When Sanzu came back, he had a tattoo gun in his hands, and a cart that you really hoped wasn’t the cart that he just had his torture weapons sat on, and that pile of flesh that you really tried to erase from your memories. “ Hold your tits and keep them spread for me. I can’t work if my canvas is covered. “ 

You nodded, sliding your arms apart and grabbing your own chest, keeping the skin taut so he could work properly. 

Originally, he was just leaning over you, his posture awkward and probably uncomfortable for him, if he could feel his own body, but he decided that he wasn’t close enough, so his free hand that wasn’t holding the gun grabbed your leg and forced your thighs apart, stepping in between them so he was closer to you. 

It only took him a moment before he came up with another order, clearly still unhappy with the way that you were sat on the chair for him. “ Scooch your ass nearly off the edge of the chair. You’re sitting too straight. “ 

Before he gave you a chance to answer or follow through with his demands, Sanzu grabbed your hips, pulling you forward until your butt was nearly hanging off the chair, and you needed to plant your feet firmly into the floor to keep yourself from falling. Your eyes widened, trying not to make any noises from the way that he had grabbed you in such a way, completely manhandling you as if you were just a doll for him that he could throw around and pose how he wanted. 

“ S-Sir- ! “ You yelped, desperation hinting within your tone. 

Once he was happy with your position, completely ignoring your little yelp, he started to clean the area, the alcohol freezing cold as it hit your skin. It wasn’t until the tattoo gun turned on, and he dipped the needles into the ink that you realized that there really was no backing out of this now, not that there ever was. 

Your grip on your own chest tightened, nails digging into the skin as Sanzu leaned a little closer. As he got nearer, he shuffled propping his knee up on the edge of the chair, right in between your legs, pressing against the sensitive flesh of your most intimate area. You wanted to gasp, but the sound caught in your throat.

You didn’t have time to say or do anything as he finally touched the gun to your skin. No one really could’ve prepared you for what it felt like when Sanzu made the first mark on your skin. The needle was so close to the bone of your sternum, it felt like a painful vibration that shook your entire diaphragm, stealing your breath away. You closed your eyes tightly, breathing through your nose, nails digging into your chest so hard you swore you were going to break the skin. 

Oh, god, it hurt. It hurt so much worse than you were anticipating. 

Everything about this was wrong. You couldn’t stop yourself from tearing up, your entire body shaking from the tattoo gun needle going in and out of your skin. It didn’t feel like a million tiny little stabs like you had expected it to feel, more like the constant drag of a serrated blade against your skin, tearing at your flesh and forcing you to watch as it inked you just below the surface level. 

But the pain wasn’t really the worst part of it, it was just the catalyst for what set off every single one of your fear reactions after being on edge this entire time. You knew you were being watched, that every man had his eyes on you and were watching with rapt attention. 

It was something about being watched that pricked at your skin, making you feel everything far more intensely than you thought you would, like their eyes on you was some kind of aphrodisiac. 

You weren’t sure when anyone moved from the places that they were at previously, but now there were important, dangerous men circled all around you, watching as you were positively defiled by Sanzu and the tattoo gun. They were like vultures watching their next meal, waiting for the perfect moment to strike.

You felt pathetic, and watched, and used. And it didn’t help that in between your legs, you could feel just enough friction that it made your already tense body clench up even further, his knee pressed against you as he focused on getting the lines perfect. You were trying to find something, anything to focus on that wasn’t how you felt in this very moment. 

“ You’re playing with the big boys now, little lady, “ Rindou hummed behind you, his voice almost melodic as his hand found it’s way to your shoulder, giving you a grin that you didn’t look at. 

“ Look at her shake like a leaf ! “ Ran snickered as he leaned down, his eyes narrowed while he looked at you. You could feel his breath hot on your neck, but it took everything out of you to wrench open one eye to see what was going on around you. 

Your eyes immediately met the older Haitani brother’s gaze, and you felt your heart leap out of your throat. Why was he so close ? Why was he looking at you like that ? You could feel the fat of your thigh bounce a little as you shook underneath their gazes. 

" Can this bitch stop fuckin' squirmin' ? " You could hear Sanzu's voice cut through your thoughts and the sound of the tattoo gun whirling that made your head spin a little bit. 

You felt small and insignificant, around all of these important men, shirtless and sat in a dirty old metal chair in the warehouse where a few men lost their lives because of you today. Your hand was covering your chest, keeping the skin taunt for Sanzu as he hovered over you in between your spread legs, one of his hands coming down to rest on your hip, knee pressed against you lewdly. 

Rindou chuckled, keeping his hand on your bare shoulder, feeling each jump of your muscles with every drag of the tattoo gun on your skin. “ Maybe not, but she sure is cute, don’t you think, Koko ? “ 

“ Mhm, “ Kokonoi was staring at you, you could feel his eyes examining your face scrunched up in pain as you tried and failed to keep your breathing steady, his features unreadable other than a small little smile on his lips. “ That’s my secretary for you. “

“ She’s fuckin’ adorable. Better like this than when she’s trying to act like a big shot in a world not built for her, “ this was the first time you’d heard Takeomi’s voice, and you were completely unsure where his voice was coming from, but all of the voices sounded like they were surrounding you, echoing off of the warehouse’s walls and amplifying them tenfold. 

You could also hear every pitiful little noise that came from the bottom of your throat no matter how much you tried to keep yourself calm. You were whimpering, your chest threatening hiccups as you fought back tears. It was too much. They were all mocking you like you were just a toy, something weak and easily broken, snapped in half like a twig. 

“ No way, is she gonna cry ? “ Ran gasped, his eyes wide as he noticed the tears that were threatening to bubble up in your eyes. 

“ She is ! Look at her cry ! “ The embarrassment of the Haitani brothers calling you out for crying was enough for the tears to finally overflow from your waterline, streaming down your face. You leaned your head back, eyes closed tightly as you tried to stop yourself from crying and hiccuping. 

You felt like a stupid school girl getting bullied by the older kids on the playground, your body on display for them as Sanzu etched black ink lines into your skin. Your cheeks felt bright red, and you wanted to pull away from Sanzu, and run and hide from them. Maybe if you ran fast enough from this god forsaken warehouse, they would take a few days to catch you.

As if it were a type of sick punishment for all of the sins you committed, Sanzu shifted just a little, knee rubbing against you and making you gasp loud through your messy, fat tears, your noises reverberating on the walls of the warehouse. You couldn’t hide that reaction, not even from yourself. 

Fuck, you needed more of that feeling, the pain of the tattoo gun almost dulling for a moment before the pain came back.

" ..She’s crying ? " If you didn't know any better, you'd really think that Kakucho almost sounded worried for you, but no one there had any intention of stopping Sanzu from finishing your tattoo. 

This was something that all Bonten executives had to go through, you knew this, almost like an initiation of sorts, and of course you were no exception to this case. 

But it didn't help that you were shirtless, and you could feel the eyes of several men staring at your body, taking in the sight before them. A few seemed to be enjoying your pain far, far too much, but you were in no position to say anything to them at this very moment even if you could, not when you could barely get out a sentence without whimpering.

“ Pathetic little bitch can’t even stop crying f’me, “ Sanzu murmured underneath his breath, his hand finding its place back on your hip, holding you still firmly against the chair. “ Stay still for me or I’m gonna fuck up. I’m almost done. shit. “ 

With each little line he drew on your skin, you really couldn’t think of anything other than the pain, their eyes on you, and the pressure between your legs. The embarrassment, stinging, and friction created the worst amalgamation of sensations throughout your entire body, you didn’t know whether or not to cry out in pain or moan out, or to break down sobbing. 

You were thinking that you might honestly do all three at the same time. You needed something that could ground you and bring you down from the headspace that you didn’t really want to be in, and before you really even had a chance to think about it, you opened your mouth to speak. 

“ K-Koko..! Pl-please.. ! “ You whimpered, hot tears falling from your eyes as you looked up for him, desperate for something, anything. 

“ She’s the cutest ! “ Ran laughed, his hand trailing down your shoulder to your hands that were still holding your breast, squeezing it a little bit. His actions didn’t go unnoticed, but you didn’t have it in you to say anything about how his long, calloused fingers felt pressed against the soft, pillowy flesh of your tit.

“ Shh, shh, “ Kokonoi shuffled around a little bit so he was directly behind you, his hand ghosting over your sensitive little neck, holding your head and tilting your chin back so your head rested on his stomach. 

“ You’re okay. Don’t even worry about them, don’t listen to a word they say. You’re doing so good, can you keep your eyes on me, pretty girl ? Look at me, look at me. You can take it, right ? Just a little more. “ He whispered softly, his voice slow and soothing, piercing through the low rumble loud in your ears through the pounding of your eardrums. 

You couldn’t really say he was calming you down, more like he was distracting you from the soft, subtle touches of the other executives. Ran’s hand on your chest, Rindou touching right below your chest on the other side, dragging his nail against your sensitive skin, Sanzu holding your hip down onto the chair, Kokonoi’s hand playing with your hair as he hummed little pleasantries in your ear. 

They were all touching you, unabashed with the way they got tired of just watching and now wanted to participate in Sanzu’s defilement of you.

“ Pl-please, no- no more, “ you sniffled, looking up at Kokonoi with a pout on your shaky bottom lip. You saw him smile a little, and his grip on your neck tightened just a little bit, squeezing the sides of your neck, stealing what little breath you had. 

“ You can do it, pretty girl. You’re getting too worked up, need something to calm you down, yeah ? “ 

Sanzu shifted again slightly, his eyes trained on the flesh he was almost done marking. His knee rubbed up against you, causing you to gasp out loud, your eyes rolling back a little bit. Kokonoi hand that was on your hair tightened up a little bit, pulling slightly. 

“ I said look at me, girl. You can follow simple instructions, can’t you ? “ You winced, barely opening one teary eye to look up at him. 

He looked so sickeningly sweet, like the worst drug you could possibly get addicted to. Being surrounded by all of the Bonten executives, each one of them cooing at you in a mocking attempt to comfort you and touching at your body, it was making your already fuzzy head swim with too much to form anything coherent. 

It almost felt good, the dull, throbbing sensation flooding through your body in small little bursts with each stroke of the tattoo gun against your skin.

Ran’s fingers began to tweak at your nipple, rolling the hardened bud in between his two fingers, not even caring enough to be gentle. Rindou’s hand soon followed suit, pushing against your nipple in and rubbing small circles, his nail digging in just slight enough that you could feel it. The two of them were so in sync without needing a word, it was almost hypnotizing how good your tits felt in their hands.

Kokonoi’s hand was still tightly around your throat, squeezing enough just to steal the breath from your lungs. He seemed pleased with how limp your body had gone by now, how all three of them could touch you like this and you didn’t try to fight back against them. He wasn’t a sadist like the Haitanis or Sanzu, but he did enjoy watching someone crumble right underneath his fingertips. Especially someone as beautiful and pathetic as you, it made it all the more enjoyable.

“ Maybe she’s finally given up on trying to be a bad girl or whatever and is ready to be a slut like the rest of them, “ Takeomi finally mumbled underneath his breath, standing behind Ran and Kokonoi and watching this all unfold in front of him. He didn’t need to touch you, not when the others were already getting you riled up past your breaking point. He was just watching and waiting for the moment where he’d be able to see the exact moment your brain turned off. 

“ There, see ? All done, “ Sanzu said finally, turning off the tattoo gun, sitting it down onto the cart beside him. “ Dumb bitch couldn’t keep still but I still managed to get it straight. “

“ I’m gonna finish you, it's gonna be cold and then painful. Don't be a bitch about it. " Was all that Sanzu said to warn you as he grabbed a wet rag, cleaning off the spilled ink from your chest. 

The coldness shocked you, causing you to jump up a little bit but it really wasn’t that bad. Then, completely out of the blue, he squirted the isopropyl alcohol directly onto your chest from the bottle, before wiping it off with some soaked gauze. 

You gasped, letting out a truly pathetic little scream with what little breath you had from Kokonoi’s hand around your throat as Sanzu cleaned the area almost too harshly for you. You'd been told that the alcohol hurt a thousand times worse than the actual tattoo itself, but it still managed to completely take your breath away, especially with Sanzu's cruelty. 

Kokonoi's hand moved from your neck to your cheek, letting you breathe finally as he gently wiped the tears that fell from your eyes. The act itself was so much more domestic compared to the spinning in your head, almost enough to make you forget about everything around you. You wanted to nuzzle into his hand and cry for even longer, but you stopped yourself from doing that. At least, you thought you did.

“ She’s like a dog trying to get affection from her master, “ Rindou joked softly, earning a little chuckle from his older brother. 

“ Maybe she’ll bark if we ask her to nicely. We can teach her how to bark like a mutt, “ Ran agreed, letting go of your tit. Everyone was gradually pulling away from you, at least far enough for you to gather your bearings, though you could still feel their eyes on you. 

You tried to push your legs closed, picking your head up from Kokonoi’s stomach, wanting to pick your bra up off of the floor, to regain some semblance of the dignity you had before you walked in here, wiping the tears with the back of your hands. But Sanzu stepped quickly in between your legs again, his eyes glaring down as his knee found a familiar spot in between your legs to keep you from closing your thighs together easily. 

“ Mm, bad dog. Keep ‘em spread. I have to show Koko something once I’m done cleaning you up, “ Sanzu rolled his eyes, grabbing a bandage to slap on your tattoo now that he had cleaned it up. He threw it on your chest over the tattoo, fingers surprisingly gentle despite his words. 

You knitted your eyebrows together, and Kokonoi shifted around so he could get a good look at what Sanzu was talking about.

“ You needed me ? “

“ Look. “

Kokonoi’s eyes locked onto your body for a second, looking from your face to the bandaged tattoo, down the your navel. You felt a little shy underneath his gaze, which was odd considering you’ve been half naked in front of him this entire time, looking away from him and sitting your cheek onto your shoulder, physically curling inward on yourself. 

After a moment, you saw his eyes wide as he noticed something, his gaze locked onto the crotch of your pants where Sanzu’s knee had been pressed against you. “ ..There’s really not a thought going on inside of that dumb little head, huh ? “ He asked, glancing up at Sanzu and then back down at your body. “ Feeling like that at a time like this.. Maybe you’re more fucked up than I initially gave you credit for. “

Rindou’s attention had been piqued by that, wondering what could have possibly happened, although he had a good idea by now, and he followed Kokonoi’s gaze to the seat of your pants, his face contorting into excitement as he turned to his brother, a cheeky grin on his face. “ She really got off on us watching her cry ! Look at her, she’s so fuckin’ soaked ! “ 

Your eyes widened, and your hand immediately flew down to hide the crotch of your pants, your face turning into a million shades of red within the moment. “ I-I– wait..! Hold on ! I– “ you stuttered out, trying to find some good excuse, but everyone there knew there really wasn’t one that you could give that could possibly explain such a strong reaction if it was just Sanzu’s knee pressed against you. 

Sanzu couldn’t stop himself, or rather made no attempt to stop himself, as one of his hands came up to rest on your shoulder, knee rubbing up against you through the thick fabric of your slacks. It was almost pathetic how quickly your little denials about what was going on turned into squeals of pleasure, head leaning back to look up at the ceiling of the warehouse as Sanzu tested how sensitive you really are. 

“ She really is cute, “ Ran said finally, grinning as he reached for your tits again, this time he wasn’t trying to be sneaky about it, and you seemed more than willing to let him cup your tits with both hands as he stood behind you, rubbing and playing with them. “ Maybe we really should teach her how to bark, she’d make really cute sounds. “ He made it sound like he was just joking when he suggested it beforehand, but you weren’t entirely convinced that was the truth now. 

You wanted to protest, to tell them to get their hands off of you and let you get dressed so you could go, but the words died in your throat somewhere along the way, leaving just little helpless whimpers and breathy mumbles of some sound that might’ve been ‘ please ‘.  

Rindou was quick to take Kokonoi’s previous spot behind you, letting your head rest on his stomach with his hands in your hair. He peered down at you, shooting you an evil grin that really only told you that you were in some serious trouble with the Haitanis and Sanzu touching you like this. 

Without him even really needing to say, you knew that he wasn’t as kind as Kokonoi was. Where he was at least kind enough to pretend to console you, Rindou was not that kind of person, not really. 

With his hand snaking down your side profile down to your throat, Rindou used his finger to keep your head tilted for him. His knuckles grazed against the column of your neck with his thumb nail pressed into your chin, forcing you to only look at him while the other two men touched and defiled your sensitive body that was already on the edge of it being way, way too much. “ What ? Not gonna call out for me to come save you like you did for Kokonoi ? “ 

“ She probably knows you’re not going to save her, “ Ran pointed out, hands eagerly pulling at your nipples, causing you to squeak out in surprise. You could faintly feel something trickle down your bottom lip onto your chin, but the thought really didn’t cross your mind to be concerned about it until you heard Rindou speak up again. 

“ She’s drooling now, “ Rindou pointed out rather bluntly, and you were reached forward sort of absentmindedly, wanting to wipe away any evidence of what he was talking about, but it really only incriminated you more. 

The older Haitani laughed a little at your little action, and you had to wonder briefly if those two ever only talked to each other or if they could actually interact with the other executives. You were pretty sure that these two could forget that others were in the room with them with how much they talked with just themselves.

“ Is she ? That’s too cute, “ Kokonoi called out from somewhere to the left of you, although you weren’t exactly sure where. The warehouse made everyone sound far closer than they actually were, with voices sounding like they were right in your ear the entire time and giving you no time to process what little thoughts you were actually having. 

Really the only thing you could think about was the way Sanzu’s knee was pressed up so deliciously against the most sensitive part of your body, the way his hand gripped your shoulder hard enough to hurt, digging into the bone of your shoulderblade. He’s not saying anything, his eyes glued to the spot on your crotch that was starting to soak through his own pinstripe slacks, causing the dark pink color of his suit to turn even darker right where he was pressed against you. 

There was no way that Rindou couldn’t see it play plain across your face the moment that Sanzu’s knee jerked slightly, pressed against your clit through your pants in a way that made your eyes roll back in your head for a moment. “ There she goes, all fucked out and stupid, “ he snickered, leaning down to your face, hand tightening around your throat as he finally gave it a squeeze, forcing a little gasp from your lips. 

You could see his eyes flicker away from you for a moment to what you could really only assume was Sanzu’s expression, but he looked back down at you moments after, neck still in his hands as he brought himself down for a kiss from you. As if on cue, Ran pinched both of your nipples harshly, making you moan out into the kiss just moments after his lips pressed against yours. 

Rindou tasted like alcohol, and it almost made you want to scrunch up your nose in slight disgust at the strong flavor of several different alcohols mixed together. He didn’t act drunk, not really, but you could only imagine that he was six or seven drinks deep by now. 

Maybe that was why he didn’t seem to have any reaction, even looking bored, when those gunshots rang out earlier. maybe he really was just like that, and there was no explaining him or anyone else here. 

you’ve been kissed before, and touched, but there was something about having six hands on your body at once that brought your mind spiraling to a place that you weren’t even sure you’d ever been in before. You felt like nothing, like every muscle in your body was suddenly torn into pieces and left you boneless and weak while surrounded by these men. 

You could feel eyes all around you, taking in your disheveled, desperate state. Kokonoi was definitely watching, and possibly that older man, Takeomi. You were vaguely aware that a few people were missing, but you couldn’t possibly really think about what that could mean. Were Mikey and Kakucho also just watching ? What about that other guy, Mochizuki, or had he completely left all together to go take care of those bodies ? 

The idea of people watching you somehow made you more nervous than the six hands actually touching your body. Were they disgusted ? Did they think you were just some common whore ? Did they pity you, or something equally frustrating ? Before you walked into this warehouse, you had a decent grasp on who you were in Bonten. 

Now, you weren’t sure about anything other than the knee pressed up harshly against you that with every movement from either you or him, it sent a shock of pleasure up your spine, and the slight pain of your nipples being punished and abused, and the strong taste of alcohol on your lips that you swore you could get drunk off of. 

If there was a light at the end of this, you were pretty sure it was just the glaring, annoyingly bright florescent lights overhead, or the hazy feeling in your stomach as all of the sensations started to overwhelm you, the pit in your stomach growing bigger, needier, with every moment. 

Right before you could really focus on that feeling, Sanzu’s knee pulled away from you, and you tried to jerk your head away from Rindou to look at him, but his grip on your neck tightened, keeping you firmly in place against him, and refusing to let you go just like that. 

At your gasp, he pushed his tongue inside of your mouth, the taste of his saliva momentarily shocking you from really reacting. 

Fuck, whatever bullshit you were thinking about him tasting like alcohol was wrong, and you knew it now. He tasted divine. Like someone you could get addicted to kissing and forget about everything else in the world, and there was no doubt that Rindou knew that you were enjoying his kiss, too, especially with the way that your body almost instinctively reacted against his touch. 

You could feel your pants being tugged off of your body, the fabric that had been so soaked against your pussy peeling off uncomfortably, making you want to squirm around in that cold metal chair. One of the hands on your tits glided down your stomach, leaving goosebumps in its wake as Ran slipped his hand into your panties, more curious than anything else about your body. 

“ Fuck, “ Ran whispered under his breath as his pointer and ring finger spread you open, his ring finger dipping into your heat, and you could hear Sanzu grunting in agreement immediately, like he knew just how soaked you were without even touching you properly. “ She’s so fucking wet. A sopping, needy little thing. “ 

Rindou pulled away, if only for a moment, leaving your mouth open and waiting for more of him. He’d been something that grounded you in place, to not have his lips on yours almost felt inexplicably wrong. With the distraction gone, however, you tried to peer back at Sanzu and Ran, but Rindou had a tight grip on your hair, keeping you from moving your head. 

“ She is needy, “ he agreed, his voice a soft purr as Rindou looked down at you, clearly tempted to kiss you again, but refraining from doing so. Ran’s ring finger curled inside of you, finally breaching your soaked little hole and making a pathetic noise fall from your lips.

“ Most sluts like her are, “ you could hear some shuffling around as Takeomi spoke, and you had to wonder how close he was. It wasn’t until he was right in your face, grey eyes with a scar running down one side of his face peering at you like he was looking at something below him. 

Compared to the amusement dancing around Rindou’s eyes, and the faux comfort in Kokonoi’s, looking at Takeomi was like looking at someone who’s hatred for you went deeper than his own bones. 

With your head pulled back, you couldn’t do much as Takeomi leaned in closer, pulling the cigarette out of his mouth and blowing the smoke directly in your face. You shook your head, trying not to cough, but in the end the taste of nicotine choked you, and you couldn’t help your body’s natural reaction of wanting to fight back, trying to pull your head away from Rindou’s grip as you coughed. 

Takeomi’s hand moved to grab your face, causing you to stiffen against his grip. His fingers dig harshly into the soft flesh of your cheeks, forcing your jaws apart and your mouth open. You weren’t sure just how many bruises on your body you were going to have after you escaped from this warehouse, but you already knew that you’d have his fingerprints on you that would take days for them to properly go away. 

Without a warning or any inclination of what he was doing, he spit in your mouth, the filthy act making you immediately recoil in surprise, eyes blown wide as it hit your tongue. 

It tasted bad, like cheap alcohol and nicotine, the flavor enough to make you want to retch ever so slightly. your knee bounced up and down as your face scrunched up, nose crinkling in distaste and you momentarily entertained the thought of spitting it back out of your mouth to get the taste out quicker. But you didn’t get far with that thought.

“ Swallow it, “ Kokonoi ordered simply without a moment’s hesitation, as if he could read your thoughts. 

You could feel your stomach drop down to your feet, but something inside of you told you to listen, like you couldn’t really deny Kokonoi – or anyone else here, really – if they told you to directly do something. You were the best at following orders, that’s what got you so far up the ladder in Bonten. It was an act that you had perfected down to an art form, and you weren’t easily swayed out of old habits.

With your mouth still forced open by Takeomi, you let the spit that had hit your tongue drip down to the back of your throat, gulping just enough that it went down. 

And with that, Takeomi pulled away only slightly, his hand pulling away from your cheeks and letting you close your mouth again. His much larger hand rests on one of your cheeks for a moment, almost tenderly, before delivering a small slap to your face. 

It didn’t hurt all that much since your body was primed and ready for pain after everything that has happened today, it just shocked you a little, and you let out a little gasp of surprise when you felt the slight stinging on your cheek. But Takeomi moved away from you after glancing over your body one good time, taking in every one of your curves and the dips of your body, his gaze somewhere in between reverent admiration and absolute hatred. 

“ She really takes orders from Koko still ! “ Ran snickered after everything settled for a moment, his finger still stuffed deep into your cunt, curled to hit that spot within you that made you want to moan out and forget everything except for the feeling. 

“ Yeah, don’t you know you’re an executive now ? You don’t have to take orders from Koko, “ Rindou pointed out in agreement to his older brother, like usual going along with whatever Ran says and just being mean. His grip on your hair softened a little bit, but he didn’t want you to look back just yet. “ Or any of us, really. You don’t have to listen to a single one of us anymore other than Mikey. “ 

Was Mikey even in the warehouse anymore ? Did he have any say over what was going on, did he simply not care, or was he enjoying it, too ? You now knew that Takeomi was there and participating, but it still felt a few people weren’t, or at least, they weren’t active in touching you. 

Mochizuki, Kakucho, and Mikey weren’t there yet, something that you wanted to ask about, or at least figure out who was touching you and who was just watching. But you didn’t have a good idea of your surroundings, your vision usually forced a certain direction by the people manipulating and violating your body.

Before you could say these thoughts, however, Ran’s hand moves away from your pussy, pulling out of you completely and moving away from your body just slightly, and Rindou had all but completely let go of your hair, although your head was still back as you tried to catch your breath and gather your thoughts. You wanted to whine about the lack of contact, the sound welling up in your throat.

You didn’t really have time to do either one of those things as your legs get hoisted up over Sanzu’s shoulders, body pressed against his in a way that had your head reeling with the new type of contact. You’re barely hanging on to the small metal chair, ass almost hanging off of it like you were bound to fall any second now. 

Its not until you feel your panties being pulled to the side of your cunt that you can really get a good understanding of what was going on, or what was about to happen. 

“ I– wait– “ you started nervously, glancing down to look at Sanzu, but he wasn’t looking at your face, his eyes lowered at where your body was against his. 

You didn’t want him not to do it, some part of you was more excited about this than you cared to let on to anyone, even if everyone could already see it on your face without you having to say anything about it. You could feel your own wetness drip down your body and onto the ground below you, probably on Sanzu’s shoes or the cold cement ground. 

“ Mm– no, I’ve been waiting long enough, “ Sanzu said impatiently, his voice still holding just a little bit of that bark it had when he first met you. Sanzu was mean, and he didn’t pretend to be anything less than that. Cold and detached from most things, you knew that he didn’t care really if you were absolutely ready or not. 

“ Bitch is fucking soaked f’me, god, “ he mumbled underneath his breath, more to himself than anyone else, but the Haitanis both let out little chuckles at his words anyways. Ran, in particular, who’d spent the last few minutes prepping you for him, not that you really needed it or anything. 

You found yourself holding your breath as you watched him unbuckle his belt and tug his pants down, the outline of his hard cock visible before he even got it out yet. 

Fuck, you were going to die. It wasn’t so much the length of him that made your stomach twist in nervous knots as it was the look on Sanzu’s face, like he was going to take exactly what he wanted now that there was nothing between the two of you. 

You wanted to beg him for just another moment, but you knew that your pleas would fall on deaf ears as he let go of one of your legs to guide himself into your entrance. With a swift, fluid motion, Sanzu pushed himself into you, the stretch of having him inside of you making mewl out in pleasure, little moans escaping from your throat. 

Both of Sanzu’s hands went back to your legs, pulling you a little closer to him as he began to fuck into you with a pace that bordered on violent, his hips meeting yours as he embedded himself in your gooey walls entirely with each thrust. He was barely pulling out, his entirely length disappearing completely inside of you, his balls hitting the plumpness of your ass every movement. 

“ A-ah.. f-fuck..! “ You whimpered, gasping a little bit as he fucked you, unrelenting in taking what he wanted. You tried to say something, but your words were incoherent and incomprehensible, your voice hiccuping in your throat as you just moaned like a desperate whore for him, for all of these men around you. 

After being pushed to the edge for so long, first with the tattoo and then with the teasing and now this, you couldn’t hold on anymore, not with how Sanzu felt inside of you, and the feeling of being watched by everyone around you, hands letting go of the chair that you’d been holding onto as you felt your orgasm crash over you almost painfully. 

You could hear each one of your pathetically loud moans reverberate off of the walls of the warehouse, making your desperation for more all the more obvious to each one of them. You could feel the force of each of Sanzu’s thrusts bouncing your entire body against the metal chair, until you couldn’t stay on any longer, ass falling off of the chair and you let out a scream of surprise, but Sanzu didn’t let up.

He bent over slightly, still deep inside of you now as he let out several little grunts, a mixture of annoyance and pleasure as he felt your body squeeze around him. Your legs were still thrown over his shoulders as you tried to reach for the ground, your body suspended completely in the air with no good way of reaching the ground below you. 

There was no way, was he really going to fuck you while you were upside, just like this ? You could feel the blood rushing to your head as you gasped and writhed around in his grip. You could hear some chuckling and something that sounded similar to a man’s moans that wasn’t Sanzu’s all around you, but you could really only look up and see everyone, and finally you got a good idea of where everyone was around you. 

The Haitanis were on either side of Sanzu, both looking down at your limp, hanging body as he fucked you like this. Ran was lazily stroking himself with his pants barely tugged off of his waist, while Rindou was still busy palming himself through his pants, clearly wanting to make himself wait as long as possible before he gave in and touched himself without anything in the way. 

Takeomi was a little ways away to your left, his dick in his hand as he watched you squirm around in the air like the slut he thought you were. 

Kakucho was a little ways away, his arms crossed as he watched the other Bonten guys touching you. Despite the expressionless look on his face, you know you saw a bulge in his pants that he had to be ignoring on purpose, and you wondered if he would even give himself a chance to indulge himself a little bit even if you asked him personally to join. 

You had no idea where Mikey was, or Mochizuki for that matter. You were pretty sure that the latter was probably out taking care of those bodies for Sanzu, or didn’t care enough to stay, he didn’t seem like the type to touch people like this. Maybe he had no idea this was even happening and would be pissed if he knew he missed out on… whatever this is. You didn’t know him well enough to really make any good decisions about him, or anyone for that matter. 

Kokonoi walked up to you, the look on his face unreadable as he got close enough for you to grab onto him, and you did, digging your nails into the expensive red fabric of his long shirt to try to pull yourself up even somewhat. His hands reached up and held your lower back, straightening you out just slightly so you were face to face with his crotch, and you realized exactly what he wanted you to do. 

“ Open, “ he demanded simply, letting you grab onto him as tight as you want to. You knew that he didn’t mind being your anchor as long as you did as he asked, and you were in no position to deny orders from him, not like this. 

He had his pants pulled down just enough for you that all you had to do was open your pretty mouth and let him slide himself in, and you found yourself almost eager to do so. You had known him for quite some time now, since before he let his hair grow out and bleached it. If there was anyone here that you could admit that you were secretly rather excited to touch, it would be Kokonoi. 

He’s not huge, which you were rather grateful for because you didn’t want to struggle to take him when you knew that you couldn’t really pull back. Kokonoi would be the one controlling how deep you took him and when you got a chance to breathe, like your body was no longer yours at this point. ‘

You were starting to believe that it wasn’t.

Willingly opening your mouth for him, he almost looks proud as he pushed his hips forward into your mouth, letting you taste him for the first time. His dick was leaky, precum coating your tongue almost immediately, the taste sweet and salty at the same time. He looked like he took good care of himself, body hair well kept and he smelled really, really good compared to the faint scent of blood and gunpowder that you’ve been smelling in the air this entire time. 

He pushed himself completely into your throat, the column of your neck bulging as you took his entire length, and you had to grab at his shirt tighter to keep yourself from writhing around. Kokonoi seemed to understand that you were struggling for just a moment, rocking his hips back and forth to let you get used to the new intrusion. 

It was hard to calm down your throat enough to properly take him with Sanzu still stuffing himself inside of your drenched cunt, like he didn’t care if you were struggling with someone else and certainly wasn’t going to stop himself because of it, and you couldn’t help but mewl and moan around Kokonoi’s cock, drool from your lips dripping down your face into your hairline. 

“ Fuck, just like that, “ Kokonoi whispered, his hands going down to grab you by your armpits to keep you up so you could free your hands up. With him holding onto your arms like he was, and Sanzu still having your legs on his shoulders, you were completely suspended in the air, the only thing holding you from falling being the mercy and pleasure of these men around you. 

Your arms were limp in the air below you for a moment until a tender hand came to grab yours, almost immediately guiding your hand to his cock so you could stroke it. 

“ Come on, little girl, “ Ran purred, his voice condescending as his hand tightened around yours for a moment, guiding your fist to stroke him the way he wanted you to. “ Stroke me just like that, make me cum just like that. You can do it. “ 

Rindou, of course, wasn’t far behind him, finally having worked himself up to a point that he couldn’t control himself any more and absolutely needed to feel your touch on his dick. 

He unzipped his pants and shrugged them down to his knees, grabbing your other hand and guiding you the same way that his older brother had. “ Nghh– fuck– “ he mumbled under his breath, trying to keep his cool as he felt your fingers wrap around his cock almost on your own. 

The two brothers hold your hands for a while, either one of them having their own preferred way of having you touch them. Ran preferred slower strokes, with your fingers tighter around him. He clearly enjoyed your hand on his dry cock, maybe the almost painful friction was something that he liked, although he did smear his precum around his tip and it very soon began to coat your hand in the thick seminal fluid. 

Rindou wanted it much faster, and honestly preferred to buck his hips up to meet your hand instead of waiting for you properly. He spit on his dick to make sure the glide was nice and smooth for him, but honestly with how leaky his dick was, it wasn’t even really needed. 

You had thought Kokonoi had a lot of precum, but no, Rindou continuously leaked all over your hand and his, his grip on your hand barely anything as he jerked his hips up to meet your hand with each little movement, like he was trying to fuck into your hand. 

Moans filled the entire warehouse as your entire body was being used, either your own or from several of the men. Surprising nobody, Ran was the most vocal, mumbling stuff under his breath about how good it probably felt to fuck your mouth or pussy if your hand felt this damn good. 

Rindou made a little noise in agreement, but at this point he was so worked up that he was too focused on reaching that high more than anything else, devolved into nothing more but little moans as you fisted his cock for him. 

“ You’re doing so good, “ Kokonoi praised quietly through little moans of pleasure, his hips rocking forward and back. Your nose was pressed against his balls, throat bulging almost painfully. 

You could barely breathe, and being upside down this entire time really didn’t help you find your breath, either. Praise really wasn’t something you were expecting in this situation, not with how cruel and mean these men have been to you this entire time, but Sanzu quickly squashed that, anyways. 

“ Good for nothin’ pocket pussy, “ he grunted out in between thrusts, his hands grabbing at your waist now that you weren’t half-way fighting against him holding your legs like he was. He squeezed your tummy tightly, feeling his fingers dig into the plushness of your body. “ Should’ve fucking known this is all she was good for. Runnin’ her fucking mouth to the wrong people for us and being a hole for the right ones. “ 

You didn’t want to admit that his words got to you, your body clenching up just slightly at how fucking mean he was, but it did anyways. You moaned helplessly against Kokonoi’s cock, earning yourself a little grunt of approval from him. 

“ Shit, she likes it, “ Ran muttered breathlessly, and you could feel his hand move from yours to trail down your body, fingers playing with your swollen and painfully ignored clit, making you gasp and whine in response. His hands really must love wandering, always on some part of you. First your sensitive tits, now your throbbing clit. “ She really is a masochist for– ah, fuck– for this shit, huh ? “ 

“ She’s gotta be, “ Kokonoi answered in total agreement, his grip on your arms almost painful. 

You hadn’t even realized that you were now fisting both of the brother’s cocks on your own now without their assistance, although your own movements were messy and uncoordinated compared to when you were being guided. It wasn’t exactly your fault, but it didn’t seem like either guy really minded at this point in time, something that you were secretly grateful for. 

Rindou didn’t say anything as he fucked himself into your hand, desperate for just a little more, his eyes screwed shut as he lost himself in the pleasure. He was honestly making rather cute little noises, small desperate moans slipping from his lips with every little touch from you. 

You were only vaguely aware of the other men in the room, of Kakucho and of Takeomi, until Takeomi slotted himself in between Ran and Sanzu on your side, dick pressed against your tit as he stroked himself close to you. 

You could feel your nipple getting wet from precum as he moaned out from his own hand, his low voice honestly taking you back for a second because you weren’t sure if you’d heard anything hotter than a man forgetting about where he was or who he was because of your body like that. 

You figured that he was sleazy enough to enjoy this kind of stuff, probably enjoying watching you get used like a cumrag way more than you wanted to know about. 

“ Shit, this bitch.. “ he groaned to himself, voice strained as his hand quickened its pace, needing just a little more before he reached his peak. You tried not to focus on it too much and instead keep your attention on the Haitanis and Kokonoi, and the incredible pleasure of Sanzu in between your legs like he was. 

“ Fuckin’ quickshot, “ Sanzu chuckled, gripping your hips a little harder. You were almost frustrated with Takeomi’s position, because now Ran had moved his hand away from your clit to make room for him, but Rindou quickly replaced that position for him, almost desperate to touch your cunt for the first time himself. 

Rubbing little circles against the sensitive little nub for you, his fingers were much faster and rushed than Ran’s, like he couldn’t wait to see you come undone on Sanzu’s cock, something you found was rapidly approaching whether you cared to admit it or not. 

At this point, you weren’t even sure how many times you could possibly cum on one dick, but something inside of you told you that you were about to figure it out today. It all felt so good, every part of your body and nerves standing on end with every little bit of contact, like you were a hair trigger away from losing it all. 

You couldn’t tell if you were cumming on his dick with damn near every thrust, or if it just felt that good to be touched and used like this, like you were something precious to all of them and like something they could throw away at a moment’s notice at the same time.

You couldn’t lie, not even to yourself, that you were enjoying this probably way, way too much. And that thought, somehow, scared you more than anything else today has. 

Were you really that fucked up ? Really that masochistic ? 

Feeling Sanzu so deep inside of your guts your belly bulged with the outline of his cock, and the painful stretch of your throat around Kokonoi’s, you knew the answer without having to say it.

Takeomi didn’t answer Sanzu’s taunts, instead he just let out a loud groan as he finally came, the thick ropes of cum painting over both of your tits as he released everything he’d been holding in all over you. 

“ Fuckin’ whore… Thinkin’ she’s some damn executive when all she’s good for is this, “ he hissed, speaking to you like you weren’t there, like you really weren’t anything but a set of holes to be used by these men in more powerful positions than you, more dangerous than you could honestly every hope to be. 

“ Yeah, yeah, but she’s so cute, “ Ran hummed in response, calling you cute for the hundredth time tonight, as Takeomi lingered, his hand coming up to play with your tits, smearing his own cum against your body. 

“ It was mikey’s decision to make her an executive, maybe he knew we needed some kind of stress relief toy. He couldn’t have picked a better one, shit. Your body really is perfect to be used like this, huh, doll ? Hm ? “ Ran asked, as if you could possibly answer him back, something he knew you couldn’t do with Kokonoi’s dick stuffed in your throat like it was. 

You let out a little whimper against Kokonoi’s cock as Sanzu hit a particularly sensitive spot inside of you, his dick throbbing with need from having you like this for so long. He was finally back to being quiet, his eyes narrowed as his fingers dug into your hips again, each thrust getting sloppier and more desperate than the last. 

It was clear that he was losing his composure, and quickly, and there wasn’t much you could do but pick a god and pray to whoever probably wasn’t listening to you anymore that he had the common decency to pull out.

Although, somewhere, a little inkling inside of you kind of hoped that he didn’t, but you squashed that part of you down before you could even fully realize the actual desire in your mind. Its not like you were going to act on it, you weren’t that stupid, but… that didn’t stop the idea from being there regardless. 

Rindou’s groans came from the back of his throat, his hips meeting your hand desperately as he reached that blissful ending too, 

“ Sh-shiiit, I’m gonna– all over your pretty tits, gonna– fuck– “ his words were almost incomprehensible as he moaned and whimpered on your side, body shaking as he finally gave up on holding off as long as he possibly could, not when he was so worked up like this. It felt too good, way too good, for him to be able to edge himself for any longer. 

“ Fuck, fuck– “ Rindou gasped out quietly, and you found yourself trying to focus on your hand a little more to be able to bring him to that peak he was searching so hard for as fast as possible. You could feel his breathing quicken, until he stuttered almost to a complete stop, hips barely rocking against your hand as you felt his cock desperately pulse and throb in your hand. 

The noises he let out were as close to heaven as you were pretty sure you were going to get tonight when he came, cum shooting out of his dick so hard it left Rindou momentarily dizzy and disorientated, only really able to squeeze his eyes shut and moan. 

You could feel it as his cum hit your chest and slightly further down your tummy, the second load on your tits only covering them even further. You had a little part of you that couldn’t help but think he was kind of cute like this, mouth panting little obscenities as he tried to calm himself down, hair stuck to his slightly sweaty forehead.

“ She’s so fucking good at this, even with her attention split, “ he groaned out, trying to catch his breath the best that he could moments after reaching his orgasm, “ Now that she’s an executive, we have to fuck her like this more often. Every Bonten meeting has to end like this, it just has to. “ 

Rindou let your hand drop from his dick, definitely far too sensitive to want you to keep going, but his fingers never stopped rubbing quick little circles around your swollen clit, wanting to see you come undone just like he had moments ago. 

Fuck, his fingers felt so good, especially in tandem with Sanzu’s thrusts into your sopping, desperate cunt.

“ Shit– she’s squeezing me real fuckin’ tight, just like that, “ Sanzu grunted out, his voice getting a little higher than it normally was. “ Can’t– fuck, can’t stop now, gotta fuck this bitch so good she learns her place. Nothin’ more than a damn hole for me to use. “

“ Fuck, yeah, but– damn, you’re making it hard to hold back, huh, little lady ? “ Ran teased, as you tensed up a little as you felt takeomi’s fingers tease your nipples, pulling at them slightly, flicking one of them with his fingers. He seemed mesmerized with your pretty tits, especially with them coated in cum like they were. 

Kokonoi’s grip on your arms tightened a little, pressing his body against your mouth and forcing you to deepthroat him, your airways completely covered or plugged up. 

You immediately started to kick one of your legs, hitting Sanzu’s shoulder repeatedly. You could feel the pressure in your chest build, the panic rising in you as your body started to fight back against not being able to breathe. Your throat clenched around him, drawing out an almost melodic moan from him. Even while you were struggling, he was still trying to draw as much pleasure from your body as he possibly could.

“ Shit, let her breathe so she stops kickin’ me like this, damn, “ Sanzu snapped at Kokonoi, which he only chuckled at before pulling back just slightly, enough for you to catch your breath without his cock in the way. 

“ I’m sorry, I just couldn’t help it. Her throat just bulges so nicely around my cock and she sounds so pretty when she gags like that, “ Kokonoi reasoned as you choked and coughed, trying to catch your breath the best that you could. 

It was the first time that you really had to come face to face with the very real reality that even if Kokonoi acts kinder than everyone else here, he most certainly was not actually kind, and was in this for his own pleasure as much as the Haitanis and Sanzu were.

Somehow, you weren’t as surprised by that revelation, and once your breath was caught, you opened your mouth willingly for Kokonoi to take your throat once again, tongue flat and waiting for him, and he did so immediately without hesitation on his part. Even with tears in your eyes and a mix of drool and precum all over your face, you were still so damn eager for him, something that he found oddly charming in its own way, and so attractive at the same time. 

“ I trained this throat so good, hm ? “ Kokonoi teased, although there really wasn’t any bite to his words anymore, not with the way you were so obediently sucking him off like that, your throat bruised but still desperate for more from him. 

“ God, fuck– “ Ran’s voice cut through to your attention, and he grabbed your hand again, back to guiding your hand as you stroked him off. 

“ Stop stealing all her attention, dammit. She can’t focus on me with you talking to her like that. “ His free hand smacked your ass harshly, grabbing at the fat of it, causing you to moan out against Kokonoi’s cock. The harsh impact almost made you want to sob, tears that were already streaming down your face threatening to come out harder. 

“ I’m almost there, just keep fuckin’ going, “ you could tell from the venom in Ran’s words that he was mad at you for unintentionally edging him, forgetting about your hand and focusing your attention on throating Kokonoi. 

Lucky for you, you didn’t need to focus any of your attention on Sanzu, he was perfectly content with using your body like a fuck toy and nothing else, but if you stopped paying attention to your mouth, you’d start to gag and choke around Kokonoi again. 

Ran alternated his hands really quickly, still guiding your hand on fisting his dick as if he didn’t trust you to forget about him this time. Now with his other hand freed up, it found your throat, squeezing at it, pressing against where your throat was bulging with Kokonoi’s cock. 

“ If you wanna focus on sucking dick so much, let me help you, little lady, “ he hissed, grip tightening slightly against your already bulging throat. You gagged, your body’s natural reflex wanting to kick in again, but you did your best to try to calm yourself down. 

“ Its okay, “ Kokonoi soothed you after letting out a small chuckle, watching how you struggled to take him with Ran’s hand tightly around your throat. “ You’re okay. You can take it, yeah ? Just a little more like this, just for a bit. He’s close, just gotta keep going until he’s done, okay ? Can you do that for him ? For me ? “ 

Its not like you could possibly say no, but still somehow his words did manage to soothe a part of you, even just a little bit. Although you could barely breathe, and the pressure around your throat was making your already dizzy head get even more light, you tried to find a medium in between all of this. 

Just a little more, just like that, exactly like Kokonoi said. 

You choked again, your entire chest heaving slightly as you tried to calm yourself down, legs shaking on Sanzu’s shoulders. “ She’s so fucking tight when she’s getting choked out like a slut, “ Sanzu hissed out loudly, “ Keep going like this and you’ll have all of us cumming with her, dammit. “ 

“ You get off on getting choked, yeah ? Not being able to breathe ? “ Ran asked rhetorically, his hand that was guiding yours speeding up. He didn’t move his hips to meet your hand like his younger brother did, but he was definitely biting back some noises, body tensing up underneath your touch more and more every moment. “ I can feel your throat all tight and bulging, shit. Gonna cum, gonna cum, pretty girl. Just fuckin’ like that. Don’t pass out on us, not yet. “

Ran’s grip on your hand tightened as he fucked himself with your hand, his patience running completely empty at this point. He was feeling so good that he didn’t have it in him to drag this out any longer, although every part of him normally would want to. Something about the way you were writhing underneath him, letting him use your hand for his own pleasure to the point you didn’t even fight back as he took your hand for himself, spurred him on more than he cared to admit out loud. 

Shit, you really were so cute to him, someone he definitely could see himself fucking again and again just like this. If he could somehow convince Sanzu to give up his spot in between your thighs like that, he’d make sure that your cunt remembered the shape of his cock. 

He threw his head back as he let out a low, quiet groan, finally shooting his cum all over your pretty tits. You felt yourself hiccup, trying not to heave again against Kokonoi as Ran finished, dragging the tip of his cock against one of your tits to get every last little drop on your perfect body. 

Finally, after a few moments of him basking in the moment, he let go of your throat and your hand, his breath coming out in ragged little gasps as he looked over your body, painted with the cum of three men including himself. Rindou and Takeomi were right, every meeting had to end like this. 

The world around you came back from going completely black as soon as his hand let go of your throat, able to suck in just enough air from your nose to keep yourself going for right now, even though it was difficult to breathe. 

He wasn’t the only one who was thinking the same thing, not by a long shot. Kokonoi was finally starting to lose his composure after staying so in control for the majority of the time, his chest rising and falling as he started to fuck your throat a little rougher than he previously was, the rocking of his hips that had been a slow, lazy pace getting faster and faster.

“ Can’t… Can’t hold it back anymore, “ he groaned, hips stuttering as he used your mouth, his balls slapping against your face with each movement. “ You’re so good, so fuckin’ good at sucking cock. I knew you were good with your mouth but damn.. “ Kokonoi’s breath hitched in his throat, clearly unable to keep going for much longer either. 

Your throat was so sore and bruised, your jaw hurt so badly a part of your mind was worried that it might be broken or bruised even though realistically you knew that wasn’t the case. You’d gagged so much that your tummy was in painful knots, the intrusion of his cock in your throat still causing your body to want to reject it, but it couldn’t do that right now. 

“ I’m gonna cum, “ Kokonoi announced, one of his fingers tapping underneath your arm just a little bit as he tried to warn you for it, like he knew that you were just on the edge of it being too much for you and needing a break. Despite knowing that you were right there at that edge, he had no intention of pulling out and cumming on your body, instead deciding that he had to cum in your throat and make you swallow it to the best of your ability. 

“ I’m gonna cum, okay ? You can swallow it for me like a good girl, yeah ? You’ve done so well so far, I know you can swallow it. “ 

You knew you were helpless in this, you could feel that hopelessness permeating all through your body that there was nothing you could possibly do but take it and swallow it all. 

Your eyes rolled back, body threatening unconsciousness. Despite the treatment of your body like an object, your poor cunt was soaked, Sanzu’s cock sliding in and out so easily as Kokonoi fucked your throat ruthlessly, holding nothing back anymore. 

A loud groan escaped his plump lips as he finally let go, his cock twitching and throbbing as ropes of hot cum filled your mouth. You wanted to swallow it all as you gulped a few times, you really did, but your body was screaming at you that you were either going to spit it out or you were going to pass out. 

It was a mix of not being able to breathe, being suspended in the air upside down, and being pushed past your breaking point that made the world around you threaten to go dark, fat tears streaming down to your hairline. 

Kokonoi pulled out of your mouth just moments before you collapsed completely on him, and you picked your head up, coughing up the remaining cum that you couldn’t manage to swallow on your chest. 

He almost looked apologetic for a moment, like he almost felt bad for fucking you past your breaking point like that, but he didn’t say anything about it, and the look was gone from his face relatively quickly when he realized that you were as fine as you could be in this situation, just a little lightheaded. 

“ We’ll work on you swallowing it all, okay ? “ Kokonoi promised with a sly little smile on his face, still holding you up for Sanzu, picking you up just a little bit so your back could rest on his chest. 

He was doing his best to soothe you while your body was still being used, trying to bring you back down from that experience of almost losing yourself there, but there really wasn’t much he could do other than hold onto you. 

You were really barely coherent, just sort of nodding along to whatever he was saying, your mind empty from most thoughts, eyes unfocused as you watched Sanzu pushed himself deep into your cunt like he had been for the last half hour now. 

“ You just be a good girl and take it for him. we’ll discuss your performance afterwards, “ Kokonoi pressed a small little kiss on your temple, the action itself painfully domestic and kind, and normally you would’ve found yourself blushing a little bit at the act.

“ Shit, you have no idea how good she feels, “ Sanzu’s hands held your hips, strokes longer and more erratic. It was impossible to think like this, impossible to have a single coherent thought with how fucked out you were, your entire chest covered in cum now, including the tattoo which had luckily been bandaged up by Sanzu before this all started. 

And still, despite being so fucked out, your poor hole completely abused and throbbing in both pleasure and pain, Sanzu kept going even through your haze, needing to reach his own high, and you were desperately crying out for him, your first words since you finally got your voice back pathetic little pleas for him. 

“ Pl-please, “ you whimpered, hiccuping a little bit, your voice high and slightly scratchy from how bruised your throat was, “ Please, Sanzu, please. “ 

“ Don’t even know what you– ah, fu-fuck, what you’re asking for anymore, do you ? “ he sneered in your face, barely looking up from where your cunt was being stretched out around his cock and drooling for him to look at your face. “ Gonna ask me to stop or keep going ? You want me to fuck you senseless, even more dumb than you already are, yeah ? Look at you, so fuckin’ pathetic. “ 

“ So fucking cute, “ he groaned out immediately after, biting his bottom lip as his hips met yours. He barely pulled out before pushing himself back inside your warm, gooey cunt, his eyes practically rolling back at the feeling of your body clenching around him so tightly, like you never wanted to let him go. “ So, so fuckin’ cute, stuffed with my cock just like this. “ 

Sanzu had been talkative this entire time, sure, but he was never talkative like this, to the point where he couldn’t shut up enough to catch his own breath, his voice ragged and broken, punctuated with moans and grunts from him. It was like he wasn’t going to be able to stop now that he had started, fucking into you like a man possessed, like he’d never had pussy as good as yours before. 

“ Maybe takeomi’s bullshit was right, maybe you were made for just this. No fuckin’ thinkin’, no workin’, just being a good, tight hole for me. All f’me. Shit, shit. “ 

“ Sa- Sanzu– Si- Sir– “ you sobbed out through quiet, mindless little moans, leaning your head against Kokonoi’s shoulder, breathing in the scent of whatever expensive cologne and body wash he usually used. 

The pleasure in your lower tummy was too much, the only thing that you could feel in your otherwise numb and yet too sensitive body. You couldn’t tell how many orgasms you had throughout this entire time, your brain to fuzzy to make sense of anything other than Sanzu’s body and Kokonoi’s presence. “ Pl-please– “ 

“ Gonna give you what you want, “ he snapped, glancing down at you, his eyes narrowed, his mouth opened to let out little groans, his eyebrows creased in his concentration on fucking you so good you forget everything except his name and your place underneath him as a cumdump. 

“ You want my cum, yeah ? Body already covered in it and you’re still so fuckin’ greedy. Maybe I should cum inside, just for a change. Have you completely covered and filled, inside and out. Shit, with the way your cunt’s squeezin’ me, I might actually– “ 

He couldn’t finish his taunts, pulling out of you quickly right before his cock twitched against the fat of your pussy, cum shooting from his painfully red dick across your body from your navel to the base of your chin. 

His grip on your waist loosened like he’d lost every muscle in his body, letting out a little groan as he finally reached that point. “ So fuckin’ good, best pussy I’ve had, takin’ me like a goddamn pro or some shit like that. “ 

You glanced down at your own body, mind sort of working down from your high as you saw just how covered you were in cum. There wasn’t a part of you that they had missed, with your tits and chest getting the majority of it all. Finally, they were finally done, and you could breathe… 

You laid your head back against Kokonoi’s shoulder and closed your eyes, exhaustion wanting to take over your body, but you knew somewhere in the back of your mind that you couldn’t go to sleep just yet, there was more you had to do right now. 

Kokonoi brought you over to that metal chair you had mostly forgotten about, sitting you down in it. Your body slumped over it, head lolled back as you tried to catch your breath. 

“ Mikey, she’s done, “ Kokonoi called out finally, voice not directed at you anymore and far colder than you’d heard him talk previously. 

He pulled away from your body, falling in line with the other executives as Mikey stood up from where he was sitting facing towards the exit, walking over to you. 

You were only vaguely aware of each one of his footsteps, even though they echoed off of the walls like everything else had. You were only sort of aware of everything, like the entire world was spinning and blurry around you, and you couldn’t focus on a single thing. You were pretty sure you were swaying, your head leaning heavily to once side, your mouth still hanging open as you panted for some air.

There was a long, drawn out silence as Mikey stared at your fucked out body, his expression unreadable, although you weren’t looking anymore. Your eyes were closed, and you were trying to bring yourself back down from everything that had happened, but you were in the clouds, and coming down was a lot easier said than done. 

There was something in the look in his eyes, like seeing you like this unlocked something darker inside of him, scratching at a more taboo itch than he was used to dealing with. 

He looked at the tattoo, the clear bandage on top of it covered with cum, spit, and sweat now, his expression unreadable. For a second, you might even accidentally think you see a hint of light in his eyes, but it's just the way the fluorescent lights of the warehouse reflected in his abyss.

You heard him ask something, something about whether or not you would like working as an executive. Something probably about your new position that you had been given, but you couldn’t make out the words, nodding along no matter what he had actually said. 

Your body and your brain were disconnected, leaving you somewhere in between the two states of absolute oblivion and being conscious and aware of your surroundings. 

“ Go at her again if you want, “ Mikey said finally, turning away from you after a moment of staring. “ She’ll be fine. “ 

The permission was so simple, but it only took a few moments before a pair of hands found your tits, eliciting a pitifully quiet little whine of pleasure from your lips as whoever it was pulled at your nipples and smearing the cum all over your chest a little more. you blinked your eyes open for just a moment, barely there anymore as you saw the gazes staring back at you, ready to make use of your body one more time for the night. 

Away from you, Kakucho’s ever watchful gaze stared at you, keeping his eyes on how you responded to each of the touches, even though you were somewhere far away right now. He clenched his hands to his side, internally fighting a war with himself on whether or not he wanted to join or not. It’d been way, way too long since he last got his dick wet.

Was this really your life now ? You took that step into this warehouse, and now you could never go back to where you had been before. You were an executive of Bonten, the tattoo on your skin a permanent reminder of exactly who you were, of exactly all you would ever be in this life. 

You were good at listening to orders. one of the best, in fact. It was more than just rare for you to mess up a direct order given to you by one of the executives that surrounded you, and that made you the perfect pawn. You could be molded into anything they needed at the time, the perfect canvas for white to cover your body. 

Innocent wasn't exactly the word, it was more like naive, and belligerently hopeful, even when you faced the worst. It was like you couldn't really see the world around you, not completely anyways.

Orders were orders, something that you were more aware of than the average person around you. If you were given an order, you did it without question. 

The tight black collar around your neck was the perfect little symbol for your status as one of the best. You didn’t have the key to it, and you weren’t entirely sure which one of them did, either. Although if you had to guess, your money was on Mikey or Sanzu. But its not like you really wanted to have the key either, not really. 

You walked down the street, the night air cold but not uncomfortable, and the sky was clear tonight, gun strapped to your thigh and not even attempted to be concealed. 

Your orders were simple today, and a part of you was pretty sure you wouldn’t even need to use your gun, not like you ever have. You’d had to pull it out a couple of times, sure, but you’d never had the need to pull out your gun before and take someone’s lives. 

That didn’t mean you didn’t have blood on your hands. You sent people to the executioner’s block several times over, like you were probably going to do today. 

Some stupid old man was causing trouble at one of the clubs the Haitani brothers owned, and you had reason to suspect that he was faking his connection with Bonten to get into a club meant for members only. 

How he was doing that, you didn’t know, because you were at least sort of aware of anyone and everyone within the upper ranks, often combing through their names and identities to sniff out people when needed. 

You didn’t have to show any proof of your identity at the door, the people there already knew not to ask questions your way, anyways. You pushed yourself through the door and into the loud club, the music so loud that it made your eardrums vibrate painfully in your ears. 

As usual, it was packed, with some people whispering in secrecy about whatever deal they were trying to make, others trying to get an easy lay from some of the girls there, and a few people there to drown out the horrors that came with the job with alcohol. 

Sure enough, at the bar, there was a sleazy old man leaning against the counter, leering at some lady, and you couldn’t recognize him. Whether or not that was the right guy, it was a start. 

Now all you really had to do was strike up a conversation, although that wasn’t something that you found yourself eager to do. Entertaining men like that usually meant that you had to act a certain way to get any good information out of him. 

Your heels hit the floor with each step you took as you made your way to the bar with a small, deceiving little smile on your face. You wrapped an arm around the girl like you knew her personally, “ Hi ! Sorin, it’s so good to see you again ! I missed you so much since you were away with your kids for the weekend. How are you ? “ 

The woman’s eyes widened immediately, a reaction you expected from her, considering you weren’t supposed to actually know who she was, but it came with the job. “ How– how did you..? “ 

“ How did I spot you in the crowd ? Silly, your hair is so pretty, I could spot it from a mile away, “ you responded quickly before she could stutter out her actual question, effectively shutting her up before she could give you away. This isn’t the first time you’ve had to play like this, and it wouldn’t be the last, but there was something slightly entertaining about being able to read normal people so easily, like you could see right through them. 

And in a way, you could. 

You glanced at the man, finally bringing your attention back to him now that Sorin was finally satiated for a moment, “ Who’s the guy, Sorin ? He’s kind of handsome, in a… unique sort of way, you know ? “ 

“ Shikichi Aoyama, at your service, “ he introduced himself, flashing you a mildly disgusting grin, clearly not taking very good care of himself. If the entire club hadn’t smelled like sex and alcohol and masked most other scents, you were sure his breath reeked.

“ Shikichi Aoyama… What a handsome name, “ you hummed as you pulled away from Sorin to let her gather her things and leave. 

You looked him up and down, wondering if he knew that you were aware that he lied directly to you. Shikichi was dead, you sent him to Sanzu personally last week for trying to siphon money from Bonten’s pockets into his own, you were sure about that. After all, you had been there to witness it go down. 

So if Shikichi was dead, but this guy was claiming he was him, who was the guy in front of you ? Looks like you did find the guy on your first try after all, something that you were silently glad about because if you had to talk to this guy for no reason, you were going to be grouchy about it for a little while. 

“ What are you doing here tonight ? Looking for a drink ? “ 

You hummed, pretending to think for a second before nodding, “ Yeah, I could use a drink or two tonight. It’s been a long night so far, and I have an even longer night ahead of me after I leave the club. “ 

You weren’t lying, not this time. You had a sneaking suspicion about what kind of night it was going to be, and you were sure you weren’t going to be getting too much sleep. After all, you had a meeting to go to pretty soon.

“ Aw, you poor thing, “ he turned away from you, flagging down a bartender to order some drinks for the two of you. While he looked away, you couldn’t stop yourself from rolling your eyes, only to spot two figures approaching from the corner of your eyes, and you mentally sighed with relief. 

“ Hey, little lady, “ one of the voices called, his tone dripping with false saccharine sweetness as he wrapped an arm around your shoulders, pulling you close to his side, something that you didn’t fight back. 

“ This the guy ? “ the other guy asked, glancing from you to the man in front of you, who was now trying to piece together what had happened in his head, still not recognizing the two men by your side just yet. i

It was something you found almost comical, because you knew what was going to happen next. This never failed to be a fun little watch, especially when you were expected to finish this up relatively quickly so you could make it to the warehouse on time.

“ Who the fuck are you two ? “ 

Ah, well, maybe you and the three of you would just have to be late for the meeting today, but it wasn’t going to be a big deal. 

You reached out and grabbed the drink that the bartender handed out, shooting it back as you settled into the bar stool that Sorin had been sitting on previously. 

Whatever drink this was, it tasted like ass, mixed with the cheapest vodka the club sold and probably club soda if you had to make your best guess, and you found yourself annoyed that this guy thought he really could woo you with whatever shit concoction this was. 

“ Damn, looks like you pissed her off, huh ? “ Rindou laughed a little as you made a face at the drink, sitting it down on the marble bartop. “ If you’re gonna buy a girl a drink, you have to at least make sure you know what she likes. And her tastes are a little more expensive than whatever you just gave her. “ 

Ran took one look at you and flagged down the bartender again. He didn’t need to say anything else or order, his go-to drink was already typically memorized by most of the bartenders, just like your identities. It was his bar, after all, so he could be a little difficult with their rules if he wanted to be. 

“ I said, who the fuck are you ? “ The guy asked, standing up from his spot at the bar, clearly ready to start an altercation, one that he probably wasn’t ready to finish. “ Don’t start giving me advice on girls, you don’t know shit. “

“ Mm, and you do ? “ Rindou’s voice was a sneer, laughing at him and just making the situation heat up even more. 

You wondered briefly if he was ever going to notice the gun strapped to your thigh, or Ran’s, or Rindou’s. All three of you were ready to go at a moment, although you would admittedly be a little slower pulling the trigger than the other two, something you weren’t afraid to admit. 

Kakucho was right, you were better as an informant than with the gun, but that didn’t stop you from having one if you needed it anyways. 

“ I know more than you. “ 

You couldn’t help but scoff a little at his words, wondering if he realized how idiotic he sounded, or if the alcohol was making him think that he was the coolest person in the entire club tonight. 

It was almost really, really funny how easily either one of the Haitani brothers could rile someone up if given the opportunity to have some fun with someone, and you couldn’t help but almost admire how they moved through life with such charisma that they practically dripped it. Nothing could phase them, nothing at all, it seemed. 

Other than a kiss from you, but that was neither here nor there at the moment. You knew that, you just simply didn’t say anything about it. Some things were better as a secret than they were spoken out loud, and you were pretty damn good at keeping secrets for people, especially your fellow executives. 

“ Yeah ? You know shit about girls ? “ Ran hummed, leaning forward to look at the man, getting right up into his face to look directly at him. “ You know anything at all ? You sure ? I don’t really believe you. Sorry, man. “ 

You almost snorted out in laughter, instead focusing your attention on thanking the bartender for the drinks that he had made for you. You passed one to Ran, and one to Rindou, keeping the other one for yourself and taking a sip of it through the tiny little straws. It was fruity, with more cherry grenadine than anything else. 

Ran turned to you, taking a sip out of his own drink and giving you a smile, “ Like it, pretty girl ? “ 

“ Yeah, thanks, “ you nodded, sipping on your little drink as you looked up between the two Haitanis and the man, “ You’re the best, ran. “ 

“ …Ran ? “ The man repeated, eyebrows creasing together as he tried to figure out how in the world that name was so familiar. 

But before he could use all of his brain to figure it out, a gunshot rang out and his head hit the table, body slumping to the ground. The club was only shocked for a few minutes, more stunned at the noise of the gunshot than the actual shot itself, most people turning to look at the assailant behind you. 

“ You’re late, “ Sanzu hissed out simply, crossing his arms as he made his way towards the three of you. “ Was that the guy or did you just make me kill some other asshole ? “ 

You’d think you’d be used to Sanzu’s temper by now, but you weren’t, not by a long shot. Still, you nodded once again, knowing that your time in the club was almost coming to a close, “ Yeah, that was the guy, you got him. “

Standing up, you stretched, taking the glass with you as you looked over at the three of them. Sanzu was in a bad mood, and the Haitanis were clearly in playful, teasing ones. Tonight really would be a long night, and the thought made you mentally sigh out a little bit, although a much larger part of you couldn’t hide the excitement about what was to come. 

Sanzu’s hand reached out, finger finding the metal loop of the black collar, pulling you towards him. You let out a little noise at the sudden act, shoulders stiffening slightly out of reflex. “ Let’s fucking go then, we don’t have time to wait all day. if Mikey gets mad it’s on you. “ 

“ Chill, we solved the mission she came here to do, Mikey won’t get mad. The person we should really be worried about is Koko, “ Rindou pointed out, but he followed behind you anyways. there was a hand on your lower back, and another one on your shoulder, and both were already beginning to roam your body, despite not even being outside of the club yet. 

Yeah, this was going to be a long night, but you found yourself almost skipping along behind Sanzu, following his guiding hand straight into hell. 

taglist ﾉ @qichun ( i adore you jasper thanks for being here through,,, everything actually ) @haitani-maki @little-ari-bear @leave-rae-alone @rockinrob1n @n4muqr @kodzuken95 @dramallama2d @tenjikusstuff4 @lywji7 @i04mnji @thisismarisaaa @honeygonebads-blog @hyperiondickrider @oococ01 @rustedrampage @jellybelly-may @mccookiemonster @cvpid-xo @dizzydesi23 @sleeplessreader @wakashudou ( togame liker spotted <33 ) @mouse-0w0 @hayleighloatx @akkkeiji @lyssie02 @edellly @moshimoshimoo-blog1

[suhkusa]

EGOIST 14.

PAIRING. Atsumu Miya x f!Reader

CW. plot, angst, sleeping around, atsumu's shenanigans

A/N. beep

-> MASTERLIST.

Atsumu might like you. 

He probably does, but it feels weird and foreign coming out of his mouth, let alone being a thought in his mind.

Never would he have thought he’d have feelings for the likes of you. Romantic, at that.

You were annoying and pesky and there was a point in time  where he’d hate being in a room with you. But somehow you made all of those nasty wants fade away. 

He thought that it’d be easy being so fucked up towards you and steering away from your presence. But then you did avoid him. So he thought finally apologizing to you and not being a dick to you would finally free him. But again, it didn’t.

All of these weak attempts of getting away from you and these thoughts of you were pointless if at the end of the day, you’d still live in his head.

And you don’t even know what you do to him. You make him want to be a good person, to not sleep around with all these women. To tip his drivers. It’s gross and not like him at all. Every word he says to you doesn’t feel like him because every word is full of genuinity and kindness. And it’s scary.

Maybe that’s why he finds himself here. With Angie. 

To try and get rid of the thoughts of you.

He’s naked beside her own naked body, as she rests her head on his biceps. 

“I don’t know why you’re so caught up on her? Didn’t you bully the poor girl?”

“Mm, yeah, like in high school,”

She rolls her eyes before moving a delicate hand onto his chest. 

“C’mon, why don’t we just make it official? I’m tired of hearing about her. That’s all you text me about nowadays,” she looks up at him as she pouts. 

Hell no. 

“Maybe in another life, sweetheart,” he smiles weakly, beginning to slip out of the bed, “Anyways, I have to go to practice, got the playoffs tomorrow.” 

“Aw no, stay a bit,” Angie gives him her weak attempt at puppy eyes. 

“You know I can’t,” he tugs on his last article of clothing before continuing, “And Angie?”

“Hm?” 

“Lose my number,”

———

It’s a shame he had to break it off with her, she was one of his favorites. Not only that, he’s known her the longest. But sometimes things like that are for the better. 

“Hey Atsumu,” your voice calls as he walks in. 

It catches him off guard, but he returns the greeting, “Oh hey,”

He continues to the court, throwing his back down before beginning to hit his stretches. Atsumu watches as you speak to the coach, rambling about something oh so important on your clipboard.

His eyes wander up and down your figure. Part of him wonders what would’ve happened if you two didn’t stop the other night. Would you have given all of you to him?

Atsumu’s gaze follows you as you make your way to Hinata. Laughing and smiling, nodding your head before moving to the next player. Then the next, then to him. He doesn’t realize you’re in front of him until you actually say something.

“I just wanted to check in to make sure you had everything ready for the playoffs, clean uniform, any kneepads?” you asked, clicking your pen.

“Ah, yeah,” he replies, “if anything I just need a new towel I think,”

He watches as you write something down, “Alright, let me know if you need anything else,” you give him a brief smile before moving onto Sakusa.

The way the smile on your face instantly brightens at the sight of Sakusa ticks him off. But there’s not much he could do, not right now at least. 

With a clap of Foster’s hands, all the men get up from their spots and make their way towards him, commencing the final practice before playoffs.

———

Even though you weren’t doing anything physically, you felt nearly as exhausted as the boys were and you instantly fell asleep when you got home. 

And thank god that you did, if you were to sleep any later you might’ve just missed your last alarm. You’re nervous while you get ready. So nervous you can’t even eat breakfast, going for a yogurt drink in its place. You can feel your leg shake with anxiety as it holds on the brake at a stoplight.

After parking your car, you meet up with the guys as you all wait to board the bus. You can tell they’re just as anxious, if not more. Even if this is not their first playoff game, it still means so much and more to their career and for them.

You board the bus, setting your stuff down in the empty seat next to you. Taking your place at the window seat, you immediately open your phone and scroll through your socials. You post an Instagram story to the Jackal’s account as they all board. 

After clicking send, you put your phone down. Time to finally catch up on sleep.

“Y/N,” or not.

“Can I sit here?” 

When you look up you’re met with a man with a messy blonde mop of hair, smiling down at you.

“There’s like, 15 other seats you can choose from and not have a seating partner,” you reply.

“Yeah, I know. Just want to sit here, though,” he fake pouts.

You groan, “Fine,” you begrudgingly grab your bag and tuck it underneath your chair. 

You squish your jacket between your head and window to create a makeshift pillow. You can feel his eyes on you, but ignore and let slumber take you under.

———

You don’t know that you have arrived until you are awoken by a rough hand patting your shoulder.

“C’mon,” Atsumu pushes, “we’re here,”

Holding yourself back from snapping at him, you grouchily gather your things and follow him out the bus. 

You catch up to Foster and give him the itinerary for the day. The two of you discuss the day’s events as the rest of the guys follow behind you. The lot of you locate your spot in the practice gym before settling down. 

You find a little corner to sit in and open your laptop up to review some of the latest matches of today’s opponents, EJP Raijins.

As you scratch notes onto your paper, you listen to the ambience of the guys practicing. The calling for the ball, the sound of skin hitting the ball back onto the ground. 

When you’re in your zone, time flies insanely quickly. It’s scary, because you’re scared for the match. Plus it’s broadcasted on national television, and while you’re not the center of the attention, it’s still nerve wracking to think about.

After finishing what you’re able to, you hand the paper over to the coach, which he then quickly turns to the guys and informs them on the rival team’s techniques. You watch them and help guide them through new techniques and tactics they can use to counterattack. 

They go back onto the practice court and try to practice said attacks. It’s talent, how easily these men can adapt to a situation.

You gnaw on the inside of your mouth as you watch the ball go from one side of the court to the other in a matter of seconds. 

Before you know it, it’s time to go. The guys are changing into their clean uniform, fixing their appearances as camera guys begin to trickle in for any post-game interviews. 

And then it’s go time, and you follow the rest of the guys as they find their way to the main stadium.

All the guys look confident, especially so with all the cameras on them. You put on your best “confident” face as well as you walk beside them.

As you find your spot at the Jackal’s side of the court, you join the team as they huddle up one last time. Coach Foster’s voice is loud and proud as he reminds the guys of what they have been practicing. You smile before giving them a sappy, “you got this!”

The men are excused, and you’re about to head for your seat when you hear his voice.

“Y/N,” he starts, causing you to look up at him, “if we win, you have to go on a date with me,”

© all writings belongs to suhkusa 2024. do not repost or change.

[storytimewithnova]

Love's Crescendo: Conquering Angrophobia Together

Tori quickly shut the door to her room upon hearing her mother's screams coming from the kitchen, where their presumably drunk father was causing a commotion. Concerned for her younger siblings, the Miya Triplets, Tori rushed to their aid. She found Atsumu and Osamu huddled together in her room, with Atsumu trying to protect Shoyo from their parents' loud voices by covering his ears.

To make her younger brothers more comfortable, Tori decided to play soothing music, even though she was unsure of how much it would help. She wanted to ease her brothers' burdens. As the music played, she could hear whimpering from Atsumu, the oldest of the triplets. Tori moved Atsumu closer to Shoyo, despite the physical resemblance between Atsumu and Osamu, Atsumu gravitated towards being overprotective of Shoyo. This adjustment seemed to calm Atsumu's whimpers. Tori then took a moment for herself, using her vape pen to de-stress.

Tori silently made a vow to herself and her brothers that she would never turn out like their parents. She worried especially about Shoyo, who was still very young and appeared to be affected by their parents' tumultuous relationship.

As time passed and Tori got older, she witnessed her parents' relationship deteriorate to the point where they filed for divorce. The image of their parents as heroes began to fade as they realized their parents were just like them, flawed and imperfect. Tori began to understand that love was challenging, and it didn't always work out. She also recognized the importance of letting go of toxic relationships.

Shoyo, the youngest of the siblings, struggled with angrophobia, a fear of anger. This fear led him to question why their family was never happy. Shoyo, who wasn't particularly religious, even started praying for a new, happier family. This deeply concerned Tori and made her realize the extent of the family's troubles.

Tori then recited the lyrics to herself, reflecting on the fact that their parents weren't heroes but flawed individuals, just like her. She understood that love was complicated, and sometimes it was better to let someone go. The lyrics resonated with Shoyo, who went to his big sister for comfort, voicing his fears and seeking reassurance. Shoyo's angrophobia was severely affecting him, and the family was in turmoil due to their parents' issues.

This plot explores the impact of a tumultuous family environment on the siblings and how they gradually come to terms with the reality of their parents' imperfections and the challenges of love and relationships.

Title: "The Promise of a Silent Melody"

Once upon a time in a small suburban house, Tori lived with her parents and her younger triplet brothers, Atsumu, Osamu, and Shoyo. It was a house filled with secrets, pain, and shattered dreams.

🎶I used to shut my door while my mother screamed in the kitchen🎶

Tori's life was marked by the daily turmoil of her parents' tumultuous relationship. The sounds of her mother's screams from the kitchen often sent her rushing to her room, desperately trying to escape the chaos.

🎶I'd turn the music up, get high and try not to listen To every little fight, 'cause neither one was right🎶

Tori found solace in music, cranking up the volume to drown out her parents' arguments. She would also occasionally indulge in her vape pen to find a brief moment of relief, an escape from the painful reality she lived in.

But there was something more significant than her own escape that Tori held close to her heart.

🎶I swore I'd never be like them But I was just a kid back then🎶

Tori had made a silent promise to herself and her brothers. She vowed never to become like their parents, to break the cycle of dysfunction that seemed to engulf their family. Above all, she worried for her youngest brother, Shoyo, who was still just a child.

🎶The older I get the more that I see My parents aren't heroes,they're just like me. Tori's understanding of her parents evolved as she grew older, realizing that they were flawed individuals grappling with their own issues, just like everyone else. She learned that love was a complicated and often challenging endeavor, and that it didn't always work out as intended.

🎶I used to wonder why, why they could never be happy. Tori often found herself pondering why her parents could never find happiness in their relationship. She closed her eyes and wished for a different kind of family, one where everything was fine, one that felt like home.

🎶I swore I'd never be like them But I was just a kid back then🎶

As the years passed, the situation at home deteriorated. The constant fighting and tension between her parents took a toll on the entire family. Eventually, her parents decided to file for divorce, marking the end of their tumultuous marriage.

Tori couldn't help but reflect on how her perception of her parents had changed. They were no longer the heroes she had once imagined them to be. Instead, they were just ordinary people, struggling with their own demons, and trying to make their way through life.

🎶The older I get the more that I see My parents aren't heroes, they're just like me. With each passing year, Tori grew wiser and more aware of the complexities of life and relationships. She learned that loving someone was not always easy, and that it often involved navigating through challenges and pain. She realized the importance of trying her best to protect her brothers from harm and hurt, just as she had done by moving Atsumu to comfort Shoyo during those loud, distressing nights.

🎶I used to wonder why, why they could never be happy. Tori's introspection deepened as she wondered why her parents couldn't find happiness together. It was during these moments of contemplation that she saw her youngest brother, Shoyo, changing. He was diagnosed with Angrophobia, a fear of anger, which had developed from the constant turmoil in their home.

As Shoyo's condition worsened, he began questioning why their family was never happy. He was not particularly religious, but he found himself praying for a new family, yearning for a life that was free from the constant tension and anger that had become their daily reality.

🎶The older I get the more that I see My parents aren't heroes, they're just like me. Shoyo's struggles with Angrophobia became increasingly apparent to Tori and her brothers. It was heart-wrenching to see the youngest among them so profoundly affected by their family's dysfunction.

🎶The older I get the more that I see

My parents aren't heroes, they're just like me🎶

The lyrics echoed in Tori's mind as she witnessed her parents' divorce, the final confirmation that they were far from the heroes she had once believed them to be. Tori understood that their family, like any other, had its share of flaws, and their parents' imperfections were just a reflection of the human experience.

Shoyo, overwhelmed by his fear and the chaos around him, sought comfort from his big sister. He hugged her tightly, whispering the same lyrics, expressing his realization that their parents weren't heroes and that love was hard. Tori embraced him, her heart aching for the pain he was enduring.

Shoyo's Angrophobia was taking a toll on him, a stark reminder of the need for healing and a chance for a brighter future. As the family navigated the complexities of their past and the challenges of the present, they held onto the hope that, with time, they would find their way to a happier, more peaceful life.

Tori clung to that hope with all her might. The challenges they faced as a family were immense, but she was determined to be the pillar of strength for her brothers, especially Shoyo, who needed their support the most.

As the days turned into weeks and the weeks into months, the wounds of their troubled past slowly began to heal. The divorce brought some relief as their parents' constant battles ceased. It was a bittersweet ending to a chapter in their lives that had been filled with pain and uncertainty.

Tori continued to learn valuable life lessons as she grew older. She realized that loving someone wasn't about avoiding all the conflicts, but rather about working through them together. The journey toward understanding and forgiveness was a difficult one, but it was a path she was willing to walk to ensure a brighter future for her family.

Shoyo's Angrophobia remained a challenge, but Tori sought professional help to guide him through his fears. With therapy and the unwavering support of his siblings, he slowly began to regain his confidence and find peace in a world that was once filled with anger.

🎶The older I get the more that I see

My parents aren't heroes, they're just like me🎶

Tori often reflected on those lyrics, acknowledging that while her family had been through hardships, they had also grown stronger. They were no longer held captive by the past, and the older they got, the more they understood that their parents' imperfections didn't define them.

Through the trials of their childhood, they had formed an unbreakable bond as siblings, and together, they learned that sometimes, it was better to let go of the past in order to embrace a brighter future.

Hope began to shine on the horizon as Shoyo entered Shiratorizawa and met Eita Semi, an ash-blond-haired setter and musician. Eita was a second-year student who took an interest in the new first-year student, Shoyo. He saw potential in Shoyo, not just as a volleyball player, but also as a person.

Eita recognized the struggles Shoyo had faced, and he believed that joining the volleyball team could be a step toward healing and finding a sense of belonging. With gentle encouragement, Eita convinced Shoyo to become a manager for the team, a role that allowed Shoyo to spend more time at the school, even in the dorms.

Semi's friendship and support were a lifeline for Shoyo. He discovered that Shoyo had trouble sleeping at night, likely due to the trauma of his past. In these moments of vulnerability, Semi would pick up his guitar and play soothing melodies to ease Shoyo's restless mind. The music became a source of comfort and solace, gradually helping Shoyo find a sense of peace that had long eluded him.

With the guidance and support of Eita Semi and the sense of purpose he found in his role as a manager, Shoyo began to rebuild his life. The healing process was ongoing, but the glimmer of hope in his eyes was a testament to the transformation that was taking place within him.

Eita Semi had grown closer to Shoyo, but he was unaware of Shoyo's struggle with Angrophobia. As the two attended a training camp together, their bond had deepened, and Eita cherished the time they spent together.

During the camp, an unexpected altercation between the captains of Nekoma and Nohebi led to a sudden and heated argument. Shoyo, unable to control his instinctual reaction, flinched and instinctively covered his ears, an action that startled Eita and drew the attention of those around them.

Eita, initially caught off guard by Shoyo's reaction, quickly realized that something was amiss. He immediately reached out to Shoyo, pulling him aside to a more secluded area to ask if he was okay. Concern and care filled Eita's eyes as he recognized the need to understand what had just happened.

Shoyo, feeling vulnerable and exposed, hesitated but eventually opened up to Eita about his Angrophobia and the fear of anger. Eita, displaying empathy and understanding, reassured Shoyo that he was there for him, no matter what. He assured Shoyo that they could work through this together.

Eita's support and willingness to stand by Shoyo, even when faced with unexpected challenges, strengthened their bond and solidified the trust between them. Shoyo's siblings, who had also witnessed his reaction, learned that they had a network of support and love that extended beyond their family. Together, they embarked on a journey to help Shoyo overcome his fears and continue healing.

As the days turned into weeks, and weeks into months, Eita and Shoyo's bond grew stronger and deeper. They had become inseparable, supporting each other both on and off the volleyball court.

Eita, who had initially approached Shoyo with kindness and concern during that unexpected incident at the training camp, began to realize the depth of his feelings for Shoyo. He found himself thinking about Shoyo constantly, feeling a warmth in his heart whenever they were together. Eita had fallen in love.

One evening, beneath the starry sky, Eita finally mustered the courage to confess his feelings to Shoyo. They sat on a quiet, moonlit bench, with Eita's gentle melodies filling the air around them.

"Shoyo," Eita began, his voice filled with sincerity and love, "I want you to know that I care about you deeply, more than I ever thought I could. I love spending time with you, playing the guitar for you, and being by your side through the good times and the bad."

Shoyo looked at Eita, his eyes filled with emotion. "Eita, I... I feel the same way," he admitted, his voice trembling. "You've brought so much light and happiness into my life. I can't imagine my days without you."

With a shared smile, they both leaned in and shared their first kiss under the moonlight. It was a moment of profound connection and a celebration of their love, a love that had grown from understanding, acceptance, and unwavering support.

Their relationship blossomed into a beautiful romance. They faced life's challenges together, knowing that with each other's love and support, they could overcome anything. Eita and Shoyo's love story had begun in the midst of their individual struggles, but it had grown into a heartwarming tale of two people finding love, acceptance, and healing in each other's arms.

As Eita and Shoyo's relationship deepened, they discovered that their love was a source of strength for both of them. Eita's unwavering support and Shoyo's newfound ability to trust and confide in someone allowed them to overcome their individual challenges.

Eita continued to play soothing melodies on his guitar, not just to help Shoyo but also as a way to express his love and affection. His music became a soundtrack to their love story, a melody that captured the depth of their feelings.

They shared countless moments together, whether it was practicing on the volleyball court, studying for exams, or simply enjoying each other's company. Eita's presence provided Shoyo with a sense of security and calm that he had never experienced before.

Their love also extended to Shoyo's siblings, who saw Eita as a big brother figure and appreciated the happiness he brought to their family. They knew that Eita and Shoyo's love was a testament to the healing power of love and acceptance.

With each passing day, Eita and Shoyo's connection grew stronger, their love deeper. They learned to overcome obstacles, not just individually, but as a team. Their love story was a testament to the transformative power of love, acceptance, and the healing of a wounded heart. They had found not just a romantic partner in each other but also a lifelong friend and a source of unwavering support.

[thisnoodlewritesao3]

The One Where You Fall In Love (And Then You Don’t) | Sawamura Daichi/Reader

Characters: Sawamura Daichi, Reader (Moonlight), Sugawara Koushi, Azumane Asahi (mentioned), Miya Osamu, Other!Reader (Angel), Other!Reader (Sunshine)

Pairings: Sawamura Daichi/Reader

Warnings: Angst, mentions of cheating, mild swearing

Word Count:  4406

Summary: You loved Daichi - you swear you did - for so long, and for so hard. You loved him, but you weren't quite sure when you stopped liking him.

A/N: And we are back to my regularly schedule antics as promised. I want to give a big thank you to @satan-ruler-of-hells for helping me by Beta-reading (and to my mom for reading it too). This is also one part of what will eventually be a much larger series including some of the girls that you meet along the way. So, follow me and keep an eye out for them

Series Masterlist | Next

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You loved Daichi.

You had ever since you met him - well, that was a strong sentiment - but it had always felt that way, so you couldn’t fault your own emotions. Of course, you’d heard about him before, he was on the volleyball team after all; you’d just never met him until your third year. Somehow, by some miracle, you were put into the same class, seated right next to each other. He was sitting by the window - something that made you jealous because you wanted the window seat - you opted for just staring in that direction instead.

Maybe he took your staring the wrong way because he apologised to you after class. Obviously, you were confused, because he hadn’t done anything wrong. His friend snickered, “already scaring the ladies on the first day?” Earning himself a swift elbow in the ribs. You snorted at the noise he made.

“It’s just… you were glaring at me the whole class.” He said sheepishly, completely different from five seconds ago; it was endearing, his sudden nervousness.

Now that you couldn’t figure out, had you really been glaring at him? Your friends had always said that when you get lost in thought you tend to look more pissed off, but you never took them seriously. Not until now, that is. “Oh. Oh! Oh God no!” You cry out, waving your hands, “I was just staring out the window!” You explained, now feeling the heat rise to your cheeks.

“Oh.” He says, looking more relieved with each passing second. “Had me worried for a minute, thought I’d done something wrong.” He chuckled - God, that chuckle was gorgeous.

“The only one who did something wrong was the teacher,” you scrunch up your nose and smile, “putting someone so gorgeous next to the window, how am I meant to stay focused now?” You froze, realising what you said. Come on, Y/N, you can’t just go around flirting with people. You silently kick yourself when he doesn’t say anything, just lets his jaw drop open. Of course, it doesn’t take him long to recover, flashing you a winning smile.

“Maybe you should sit by the window, although I think I’d find it hard to focus.” He gave you a lazy wink, his silver haired friend hollering at him for such smooth moves; now it’s your turn to recover, only you don’t do it with half as much grace as him, stuttering and fumbling around.

“I think you broke her,” his friend laughs, smacking him on the back, clutching his stomach like this is the best thing he’s ever witnessed.

An arm wraps around your waist and it snaps you back to reality, your friend smiling up at Daichi sickeningly sweetly. “Look at you, picking up the hot guys on the first day. And two of them!” She calls out, eyes darting to the silver haired boy.

“Picking up-” You ponder what she meant before gasping, “stop it!” You push her off of you as she starts her own fit of giggles. “I was just apologising for my resting bitch face.” That sets her off again, because of course your resting bitch face had managed to attract two guys.

“You always have a bitch face.” She quips, whisking you away. You wave over your shoulder, taking note of the soft smile on his face.

----

You loved Daichi.

Despite his confidence yesterday, it’s actually his silver haired friend that talks to you first - his name is Sugawara Koushi - you don’t know it yet, but he will grow to be the person you confide in the most. Even before Daichi.

“What’s up, bitch face.” Suga sits on your desk, and for a second you contemplate kicking him.

“What’s up, Suga tits.” You lean back in your chair. Daichi snorts at the nickname, making your heart swell with pride - wow, that has never happened before. Suga breaks out into a big grin, pointing his thumb at you.

“Oh, you should totally keep this one,” he says.

“This one? Is Sawamura here a player? Do I need to protect my precious little heart?” You gently place your hand over your heart, gasping lightly and making sure to pull the most adorably-shocked face that you can. The playful tone doesn’t go unnoticed by either of the boys.

“The only thing he plays is volleyball.” Suga says at the same time that Daichi says, “maybe you do.” With another lazy wink.

You can’t help but snort again, causing the three of you to break out into a fit of laughter.

It surprised you how close the three of you became and how quickly; for you, it felt like everything finally fell into place. Suga was rather chaotic - you remember the time he basically used Asahi as a human battering ram - but he had his moments of kindness. Daichi was effortlessly smooth, sometimes a little intimidating, and he had this aura of authority that you couldn’t help but smile at.

When they introduced you to their volleyball team, you made sure to stick closer to Daichi’s side. One of them asked if you were his girlfriend, neither of you fought off the notion - maybe you were crazy, but you swore Daichi was blushing.

You aren’t surprised when he asks you to go on a date with him - in fact, you’re elated - this is the moment you’d been waiting for; Suga was the first to hear the news and congratulated you.

Your happiness with the silver haired boy was quickly silenced when he brought a packet of condoms to class the next day and not-so-subtly shoved them in your direction. Had you ever wanted to punch someone? Not until you met Sugawara Koushi.

Everything gets worse when Daichi sees them on your desk, eyeing you curiously before you haphazardly shove them in your bag. No one else seemed to see the box, but that didn’t stop your embarrassment.

You made a note to kill Sugawara one day.

----

You loved Daichi.

That one date had turned into two, then three, and next thing you know, you’re seeing each other multiple times a week. He even asks you to be his girlfriend, which you all but scream yes at.

Maybe the first sign that things weren’t going to be perfect was how much time his volleyball club needed from him - but you weren’t upset about that, not at first, at least.

Because Daichi still never failed to make you feel special, like you were the most important thing in the entire world. He’d whisk you off your feet every single time you came to see him at practise. The amount of times he’s put a bouquet of flowers on your desk made your heart swoon. He showers you with kisses and hugs, love and affection for days; you swear, if he could have you stay with him all the time, he would.

You never put that box of condoms to use - not yet - but it sits inside your bedroom drawer behind an old packet of cute pens you never wanted to use, a new set of nail polishes, and a book you’d been meaning to move to the shelf.

“Do you know how much I love you?” He mused one evening, running his fingers through your hair while you watched a film. You hum, a little confused by his question, so you turn to face him.

“I’m going to assume that it’s a lot,” you giggle when he swats at your arm.

“A lot does not begin to cover it,” next thing you knew, he was kissing you, pulling you so close like he was afraid to lose you.

----

You loved Daichi.

So much that you’d watch his volleyball games and cheer him on, even if you really had no idea what was happening - he’d tried to explain it to you, but it didn’t help that much. The thing was that you didn't need to understand the passion in his eyes, you just needed to be there for him.

You wouldn’t have felt so bad about not learning about volleyball if he didn’t pay so much attention to all your hobbies - though you didn’t think it was that difficult to figure out the plot of Ouran HighSchool Host Club.

It became so easy to lose yourself in him. Soon, it was no longer just Y/N - the girl who makes friends a little too easily, and Daichi - the boy who is so blissfully unaware of the eyes on him - now you are Y/N and Daichi - the couple who are ignorant to their own worries. Because who needs to worry when everything is just perfect?

The way his hand fits into yours makes your heart swell; the hunger in his eyes when he’s playing volleyball makes your breath pick up; when he brushes your hair behind your ear and swoops in for a kiss.

Everything he did was just so effortlessly perfect. Did he even realise it? The way he drove you completely crazy? Before him, you were sure you’d never feel this way - especially not with how your mom talks about your dad. You were sure that true love was a myth told by hopeful housewives.

You thought this until you met Daichi. Until you fell for him so hard, so quickly that you weren’t really sure what had happened. The fire of your love burned so bright and hot, with such anger, spreading around to everyone - whether for the better or the worse, you wouldn’t know. Not yet.

----

You loved Daichi.

That was why, when things were just a little too difficult, you’d rather call Sugawara. You didn’t want to bother your boyfriend with your problems - even when he said that it’s fine and that’s what I’m here for. But you knew what would happen. You’d seen it happen in front of your eyes.

“What if I’m not good enough?” You sigh, pulling at the grass beneath you as Suga stares at you sadly. “What if he leaves me because I can’t figure out volleyball? It means so much to him, and yet I just...” There’s obvious panic in your voice.

The setter sighs heavily, running his hand through his hair. You were difficult to figure out. Your confidence always seemed unwavering. But beneath the surface you were riddled with insecurities; it was like a maze in your mind. One wrong word and you’re met with a dead end with no memory of how to turn around. He could only imagine that a scared little girl lay in the centre, wrapped up in a little fantasy world with dolls - a world where mommies and daddies got along, and she could act like a girl again.

“You know Daichi would never do that to you. He’s just happy that you watch the games.” Suga said, confident that that was the right choice. He couldn’t tell, not as you slowly looked up to the sky, face lacking the emotion your eyes yearned to show.

“I guess you're right.” He barely heard you, but maybe he hadn’t made such a mistake afterall.

He wondered how Daichi managed to deal with you; then he remembered that he didn’t. For Daichi, you were a constant ball of sunshine and happiness. Even when Suga could see the pain in how you moved, when he could hear your frustrated phone calls to your mother, the way you almost fell asleep in class so many times.

He watched you on the few days they’d come back to yours as you acted more like a housewife than a teenage girl. He’d joked with Daichi that you’d make the perfect wife one day - he didn’t miss the way you glared before lifting your baby sister up and planting her softly on your hip, feeding one of your brothers as he wailed.

Sometimes Suga wondered whether Daichi saw these things too. If he did, he never said anything.

----

You loved Daichi.

But when he asked you what you were planning to do after school, you didn't really know how to respond other than saying, “I have to watch the kids…” you said it like it should have been obvious, there wasn’t much else you could do. You’d never put much thought into college, not that you had the time to. You were happy with how things were now, why did they have to change?

“What about after that?” He asked, pausing the episode of Attack on Titan you were watching, turning to face you fully, clearly intent on continuing this conversation.

After what? After your siblings grow up enough to not rely on you? But that wouldn’t be for such a long time. The twins were still only two, not even taking in account your sister, who can now hold her head up herself.

“Do you not want a job?” His brow twitched in slight anger and you knew why; he wanted to know what future you had together. But you didn’t know. You’d never had a chance to daydream about the future, you couldn’t even glance back to the past, you were glued into the present without room to move.

“I do,” you shrugged, laughing nervously, “but it isn’t that big of a deal. Besides, I’ve got you. So what more do I need right now?” You tentatively reached out and rested your hand on his, squeezing it lightly. He squeezed back, letting you know he wasn’t really upset.

“Yeah, we have each other,” he smiled softly, pulling you into a big hug. You ran your hands through his hair, trying not to think about how he’ll be going off to college soon, trying your best to bask in this moment.

Things were never going to be easy, you see that clearly now.

----

You loved Daichi.

You just wished he hadn’t chosen somewhere an hour away from home. You wanted to be able to see him, to hold him close and never let him go, but he seemed hellbent on leaving. Of course, you never told him this, you just stayed by his side, talking idly about what he plans on doing.

He plans on being a police officer. You tell him he’d be good at that. He says thank you. There is an awkward tension in the air, but neither of you bring it up.

You want to tell him how you wished he would have chosen somewhere closer because he knows you can’t just leave the house whenever you want, but he’d just tell you that that was ridiculous. That you were an adult and you could do what you wanted (it was a fight you’d had too many times this month alone). He would never understand, so you told yourself you were okay with that.

That night you’d fallen asleep in his jacket, his scent barely lingering on the fabric now - you considered asking him if he would make it smell like him, but he’d be leaving soon, so he’d probably accidentally take it with him.

----

You loved Daichi.

Even when his nightly calls slowly turned into every few days, and then once a week. Nowadays, you felt lucky to hear his voice once a month. Of course he’d visit, but even those visits were so sparse that you didn’t really know how to feel. Empty. If you had to put a name to the feeling, that would be it.

You brushed off your feelings, because Daichi was still so happy, so maybe you were just missing something. Because on the days when he did call you, you were able to smile so wide.

Because you did love him.

That was why you decided to surprise him, take his advice from many months ago, to finally live life how you wanted to - even if it was only for a day. You left your siblings in the caring hands of Suga, who almost looked sad as you left, but he waved you off proudly nonetheless.

Maybe you should have felt sad when he didn’t get worried that you didn’t respond to his text, but it was normal, what’s the point of getting sad at something that happens every day? There wasn’t one. Not a single one.

You can’t help the feeling of something - though you aren’t sure what - weighing down your chest. Each step closer to his dorm feels like an eternity and before you know it, you’re too busy thinking about whether or not you’d made a mistake. The hallway suddenly feels hot, air slowly suffocating you. Had it always been so hot in these halls? You'd be sure to ask Daichi; maybe he could explain the aching in your chest, the weight of your lungs, the mild headache from the stress around you.

But when you knock, and when he opens, you aren’t greeted with the normal show of being whisked off of your feet. In fact, you aren’t greeted with Daichi at all. In his place stands a young woman, so radiant and ethereal you might think her an actual angel. But she wasn’t. No, the sinister reasons for her being here are all too obvious. You note the marks down her neck - the ones he’d refused to give you, lest you ruin your innocence before marriage - the way her cheeks are flushed, sweat shining her forehead. The way his shirt - you knew it, because it had been one you’d bought him - taunted you by daring to fall so perfectly on her body.

You can’t speak. The wind knocked from your lungs. Have you ever been hurt so quickly? Maybe, but that was only in front of Sugawara. You slowly raised a shaking hand to your mouth, trying to decide whether or not to give into the nausea that hit you so violently.

What had you done to deserve this? You couldn’t think of anything - not right now, at least. Of course you weren’t perfect, but who was? Daichi was. To you he was.

All around you, the world seemed to crumble, you couldn’t speak or move. For a second, it seemed like she recognised the look in your eyes - so obviously wounded by the sight of her. Her eyes flitter into the dorm. His voice calling out, “who is it, angel?” You have to press your hand to your heart, and check it, it felt like you’d been stabbed. You might have been happier with that.

When he pulls himself into frame you don’t even have the energy to cry, mind wracked trying to figure out where you’d gone wrong.

His chest is littered with bites, and marks, and scratches.

His face falls when his eyes meet yours, something breaking deep inside of him as you shake, feigning the softest smile. “Surprise…” you try and cheer, trying to pretend like you hadn’t seen him this way. Trying to cover the image of him in front of you with the Daichi you knew. The man with an aura of authority, the man too kind and blissfully unaware of the eyes on him.

----

You loved Daichi.

No, you love Daichi.

Maybe that was your personal imperfection.

As you sat in his dorm, listening to his excuses, you could only smile, tracing your finger around the edge of the mug. If you were honest, none of this hurt as much as you thought it would - of course it hurt, but the pain was lessened so deeply by something inside of you.

“I didn’t mean for you to find out like this. I-I… I thought maybe if we kept trying, then maybe we could-” you cut him off by gently placing the mug onto the coffee table, noting the little pieces of her that littered the apartment.

“I think what you mean,” you straighten your back and turn to face him - he’s still shirtless, that girl is still in his shirt - she sits next to him, the space between them seems like such a cavern now. She looks so much like she wants to escape, but you can’t ever escape something you’d walked into so effortlessly, “is that you didn’t mean for me to find out.” He opens his mouth, trying to find the words before he grunted. You let out a breath, clapping your hands together, “well, when you told me to go out and live my life, I never thought this is what it would be like.” You look around the room slowly.

“It isn’t like you ever needed me,” now he was desperate, trying to find something to use against you, “you always had Suga clinging to your side.” He sneered. Was that something he was proud of? That he might have hurt you with your own friendship. “You never even trusted me anyway.” He was hurt, you knew that much.

You bite back at your lip, wanting to yell I think everyone can clearly see why, but no. Because this is the first time he’s ever done something like this. “Maybe that’s true, but if you really think that, then you never really knew me at all.”

There’s guilt in his eyes because he knows that you know he just tried to hurt you, tried to make you run away from him. But you don’t need to run.

“I spent a lot of time thinking,” you continue, rubbing your hands on your sides to try and ease some of your personal tension, “that when you slowly stopped calling, that you were really busy; you were out here doing what I should have. You were living your life.” You glance at the girl - she stinks of shame, tugging at the hem of the shirt. “And I can see that I was right.” There aren’t any more words needed. You can’t even think of anything else to say.

You stand up to leave, but he grabs your wrist, “we can still try, I- I want you to still love me. And I will love you, because I do love you.” He reeks of desperation now. It makes you feel sick. It hurts. You just want to leave. You don’t want to be here anymore. You can’t stand to see him. Not like this. Not when you’re about to crumble. You were fine holding yourself up a moment ago, but now, seeing the tears prickle into his eyes, you don’t know if you can do it.

It takes everything in you to smile sweetly down at him, “I never said I didn’t love you,” you chime, gently unwrapping his fingers from around your wrist. What’s left behind isn’t warmth, no, it feels more like a burn, “but I don’t think I like you anymore, Daichi.”

Maybe that is your last hurrah as you slink out of the dorm. 

----

You still love Daichi

As tears dribble down your cheeks, you call the one person you can think, hoping he can give you the strength to keep walking and not crumble right here.

Just as he answers, someone taps on your shoulder. The girl - she’d introduced herself, but you didn’t hear her - a buzzing in your ears reminds you of the blinding anger. You can’t even focus on what she’s saying. Something about how she didn’t know, or that he’s a great man. You don’t have a response. Not until she opens her eyes and notices the tears, “you really loved him, didn’t you?” Her voice is soft. Maybe she finally realises the calamity of what she’s done.

Did you love him? Well, that was definitely a yes. You couldn’t deny it, not even to her. You doubted you could ever fall out of love with him. “I’ll call you back,” you mumble to Suga, hanging up and taking a seat at the nearest bench, beckoning her to join you. “I do- I did. Did he ever tell you how we met?” She shakes her head slowly, so you decide to tell her a tale as old as time. Of a boy in a class, and a girl with a love for windows. Of how he blocked your light, and had kept doing so until right now. She listens so intently, because she must know the pain you feel.

You tell her about his unwillingness to give up and his aura of authority - she agrees, because who wouldn’t - you tell her about the passion in his eyes, how he could bring the first years to their knees. She laughs and you can see why he chose her. There were stars in her eyes for a thousand light years.

You can’t help but think that maybe love doesn’t exist, just as your mother had warned you for so long.

----

For too long, five years to be exact, you spend endless nights trying to forget Daichi. The memory of him sticks to the walls. So as soon as you can, you move to Hyogo - a place that even Daichi hadn’t managed to touch. You hesitated when you said goodbye to Suga, but he had met a girl that radiated the sun, and you just knew that he was going to be fine.

You opted to go to online university, some shame in the fact you’d never had a chance to go before, but that was a worry for another day. Your biggest concern was work. How were you to find a job with no work experience? A place to stay would be nice, too, but you could easily take it one day at a time.

On your hopeless search, you practically stumble into a restaurant by the name of Onigiri Miya. Of course, Daichi somehow lingers here when you are met with two - or one - vaguely familiar faces. You dig into the depths of your mind, trying to think of where you remember them from.

You brush it off, sitting down at the counter and aimlessly searching through the menu. Maybe you sat there for too long, staring with such tension, because a plate of onigiri is placed in front of you. “From my idiot brother, but made by me,” he sighs, taking a quick note of the way your eyes light up.

“I can pay!” You call out, sifting through your bag for your wallet. Except they both refuse to take your money and you huff.

When the chef - Miya Osamu - smiles lazily down at your pouting face, something in your heart fizzles awake.

For the first time in five years, you think that maybe love can still exist.

-----------------

Taglist:

@pies-writes-and-more @realcube

If you want to be added to the tag list, the send me a DM, or an ask and I will gladly add you!

[omigiry]

𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐚𝐢𝐫

Miya Atsumu

synopsis: Crown prince Atsumu needs to decide who will he pick to be the official crown princess, but the lady he wants is facing her own dilemma.

Notes:

Royalty AU

Fluff

POV: Third person (she/her)

wc: 4.1K

ry’s notes: for plot convenience i did not put any love rivals. it was already long without it, even though i have contemplated whether i’d put one or not, but i ended up not to. hope you enjoooy ~~  ♡ ♡ ♡

Sweat drops on (y/n)’s forehead as she swung her sword to attack the dummy in front of her. The moon serves as her light along three lamp posts on the training ground. She could feel her arms getting tired from the weight of the sword. She tried handling the swords the knight usually uses, but she couldn’t do it if her brother, Kita Shinsuke, or her father was around; they did not allow her since she is still a lady. 

“It’s dangerous for a lady to be out at this hour.” A familiar voice said.

Out of the corner of her eyes, she saw the crown prince making his way towards her.

“And why is the prince strolling around at this hour of the night too?” 

“I needed some fresh air.” Atsumu said and leaned on the dummy. They knew each other ever since they were little because of the loyalty of (y/n)’s family lineage to the throne. His father is the head of the first squadron of the royal family and his brother will be the one taking over.

The king has taken a liking towards (y/n) as he watches her grow up into a wonderful lady. Both of the family have agreed for her to be the crown princess and betrothed to Atsumu since he was the oldest among the twins. After hearing this news on her 8th birthday, she doesn’t know how to react. An 8 year old doesn't know what she wants to be yet so she followed along. As (y/n) grew up she admired the swordsmanship of his father and brother and wanted to be a knight herself as well. 

At the age of 10 she talked to her family about what she wanted. Her mother almost fainted when she told them that she wanted to be a knight. Her mother dotes on her that she doesn’t want her hands to be rough through hard labor. On the other hand Shinsuke and her father were swelling with joy, but her father couldn’t help but worry as well since she was the youngest and only daughter of the family. Not only that, the crown princess couldn’t be a knight. 

They couldn’t stop her, so they had allowed her to practice basic swordsmanship. She practiced together with Atsumu and Osamu with her brother supervising. Sometimes she would practice with the first squadron and she was babied by all of them, they were treating her with extra care as if she was glass. 

“What brings you here? You know if my father and Shinsuke saw you on our grounds they would not hesitate to chase you away even if you’re the prince.” She said as she put the sword back in its scabbard.

“Do they even know you’re here? I’d bet you just sneak around at night too.”

“Touché” (y/n) said and glared at him. She went closer to him and both of them sat at the ground. Despite what their parents had arranged, they remained good friends to each other. Though it mostly consists of sarcastic and snarky exchanges in every conversation they had, they did share deep conversations once in a while when one of them is bothered. 

“You’re turning 18 already.” Atsumu pointed out. When (y/n) told his father that she wanted to be a knight, it honestly gave the king a headache. Nevertheless, being able to see (y/n)’s passion and also leadership skills during her training made the king to not easily give up on the lady. She was the perfect queen for the kingdom in the future. 

“Yes. Is the king still thinking on who to crown as the princess?”

“Every night.” Atsumu would be lying if he said that he didn’t want (y/n) to be his princess. “Why did you want to be a knight?”

“I want to fight as well, I do not want to be protected. I want to protect the people I care about.” There were other females who are knights as well, so it wasn’t against the law of the kingdom, the only hindrance is that she’s to be crowned. By her proclamation of wanting to be a knight the Aristocrats and Imperialists had a long meeting regarding the matter. The best decision was to have candidates for the position of crown princess. 

“Don’t you have a meeting with some of the candidates tomorrow?” She asked. She was also scheduled to have tea with him giving equal chances to talk with the prince, but she had an advantage since she grew up with the prince. 

Atsumu sighed as he thought about the busy schedule ahead. “Yeah, it’s honestly tiring.”

“Osamu has it worse than you. Especially trying to cover for you when you sneak out.” 

“Hey! I cover for him too.” 

“Sure you do.” She said sarcastically and rolled her eyes. 

“You wound me, my lady.” He clutched his left chest and acted as if he was stabbed in the heart. 

“I’m honestly concerned for the future of the kingdom on the day of your coronation as king.” 

“Then be my queen if you’re that concerned.” 

“Nice try, but try again.” It was normal for Atsumu to be flirty towards her, thinking that it was only a joke. She would always brush off every flirty comment that came out of his mouth, but she doesn’t mind it at all since she was used to it. 

“Well, it’s getting late. I should go back now before my father and Shinsuke notice that I’m gone.” She stood up and brushed off the dirt from her pants and Atsumu followed.

“Good night, my lady.” 

(y/n) was roaming around the palace ground as she waited for her turn to be alone with the prince for their afternoon tea. Suddenly, she was pulled into the corner of the hallways and pressed against the wall with a hand cupping her mouth. She saw Atsumu towering over her figure as he looked around if anyone was there. 

(y/n) glared at him for his rash actions. 

When Atsumu made sure that no one was there, he removed his hand and smiled sheepishly at him. 

“Did you sneak out again?” (y/n) said, crossing her arms together and raising an eyebrow at him. 

“I was getting bored. All of them didn’t talk much, I could tell that they’re trying to put a good image in hopes I’ll choose them.” 

“Atsumu, you need to take this seriously. Your coming of age birthday celebration is only a month away.”

“I am taking this seriously, I already made my decision.” 

(y/n) was surprised that he already had decided, as far as she knows this is only the third time meeting every candidate. “That’s good then.” She simply said. Am I out of the choices?

“Aren’t you curious on who I picked?” Atsumu chided, noticing the change of expression. 

“No, it’s your life so it doesn’t affect me.” 

“But your opinion matters. I want to know, from a lady’s perspective, if the one I picked is perfect.” He tested the waters to see if her mood will change again.

“No one is perfect, Atsumu. All of us make mistakes and have flaws.”

He dismissed her comment and described the lady of his choice. “Well, she’s strong, wise, she’s clothed in dignity. She takes pride in her family name, and she will do everything to protect the ones she loves. She might be timid on the outside, but once that wall breaks she’s playful and charming.” 

“Sounds like a great lady.” She simply stated, turning her back to him. “You should return now. I’ll be meeting Shinsuke.” 

She walked away from him not looking back. Atsumu leaned on the wall as he watched her, a smile forming on his lips. Well, this is intriguing. 

She wouldn’t admit that she felt a little jealous when Atsumu talked about the girl he chose. Whatever it is, it won’t affect her, but she couldn’t deny that she felt aggravated when he talked about her. 

The little voice in her head tells her that she’s already in love with the prince.

No way. Me? In love with him? 

Her face morphs into a frown as she dwells in the idea of her being in love with Atsumu. It’s not that she hates him, they grew up together so she tolerates his presence. It’s just that the way he’d always act so playful and carefree towards her made her feel things she doesn’t know how to address. 

He would always do something unexpected. Like that one time she almost fell out of balance when they were training, he’d used his body to take the impact as she fell to the ground. Or that one time when she sprained her wrist from excessive training that she’d hidden from her family, he was the one who aided her. 

No, I won’t say I’m in love with him. She denied one more time, but the smile on her face says otherwise as she reminisces the time they spent together when they were younger. 

“(y/n)?” Shinsuke knocked on his sister’s door and called out to her. She was turning 18 tomorrow and she needs to make a decision if she’ll be a knight or officially be the crown princess. 

“Come in!”

Shinsuke entered and saw his sister doing paperwork. When she turned 16 she became a squire and she’s been in charge with reports. 

“How are you?” 

“I’m doing fine.” 

“Have you made a decision?” 

(y/n) let an audible sigh as she placed down her pen and looked at her brother. 

“Do you like Prince Atsumu?” At the question (y/n) bowed her head down. “I know you take pride in our family name and want to be a knight like us, but if your feelings for Atsumu weigh more, you know what to do.” She hates it when Shinsuke reads her like an open book. 

“I know. I really love what I’m doing and I have made a name for myself, I’m not just someone who is the prince’s soon to be princess.” All her life she had been molded to be a lady fit for the throne, even if she was training as a knight. Everyone already knows that she was favored. 

Shinsuke sat at her bed and she followed him. “We’re really proud of your achievements and how you grew up. Whatever you choose, we will gladly support you. You also don’t have to worry about us, you have a reliable big brother right here.” 

(y/n) leaned on his shoulder, enjoying the comfort her brother brings. Being the youngest, she would see how her father and brother protects the family and honor, and how her mother handles her business as well. It also means that she grew up being pampered, it felt like she doesn’t have a role in the family, always being the one they guard. She doesn’t want to look meek in the eyes of others. 

“Thank you, Shinsuke.” They’d talk until (y/n) felt sleepy, updating each other about their recent things that had happened between them. 

Atsumu was up all night. (y/n) was turning 18 tomorrow, and if she’s still undecided he might talk to his father to give it some more time until his coming of age party. He doesn’t even mind if he waits for another year. Whenever (y/n)’s ready to decide and whatever her choice is, he is willing to wait. 

It’s just that the circumstances don't allow them. If he wasn’t the crown prince it wouldn’t be that hard. He tried to convince Osamu to be the one to take up the crown when he learned that (y/n) wants to be a knight. 

The only good thing about her being a knight is that she would be in the castle more often. But if she chose to be his princess it would be better, since she would be staying at the castle to learn more about the kingdom. 

He stared at the ceiling as he formulates a series of plans for whatever possible situations that could happen tomorrow. 

Atsumu didn’t know when he started falling in love with her, but all he could remember was when he held her hand and he didn't want to let it go. He wanted to keep her hands soft and delicate, he doesn’t want to let her experience the hardships.

You could rely on me to protect you and your family. You don’t have to do it yourself.

On the day of (y/n)’s birthday, Atsumu was stunned by her dazzling appearance. His father has gifted her a head dress that she wore almost identical to the crown, clearly showing how she was still the first choice among the other candidates. In his opinion the whole getting to know other potential crown princesses was really pointless when clearly he and his father was already certain who rightfully deserves it.

“May I have a dance with the most beautiful lady among us commoners?” Atsumu bowed and held out his hand.

“I’m surprised you can call yourself a commoner.” (y/n) jested. She took his hand and Atsumu led them to the middle of the ballroom, he wanted to show her off. 

“You look wonderful.” He complimented as they swayed together. The years of practice of dancing made it easier for them to talk. 

“Thanks.” She simply replied and smiled at him.

“Why don’t we just run away and ignore our responsibilities?” Atsumu suggested.

“As if you could even do so.” Atsumu may have a playful character who loves to sneak around but he takes his position seriously and brings results beyond expectations. 

“Is that a challenge, my lady?”

(y/n) quirked her eyebrow. “What if it is?”

“As if you could leave your loved ones behind.” 

“Touché.” 

After the party, the King called for a private meeting with her. She already knows what they would talk about. 

“Have you made your decision yet, young lady?” 

“I’m sorry, your highness but --” She wasn’t able to finish the sentence when the door opened and Atsumu came barging in. The king was clearly not pleased at Atsumu’s sudden entrance. 

“Father, please extend the time given. After all, the final decision would happen on my coming of age birthday.” He pleaded. The king gave his son a stern look clearly implying that he will face consequences for intruding. “Please, father. Just a few more weeks. Whatever her decision might be, I’ll respect it.”

(y/n) looked at Atsumu and saw desperation in his eyes. She was confused, she thought that he had already chosen someone. Why was he extending her time?

“Lady (y/n)?” The king turned to her waiting for her response.

“If the Prince wishes so, then I will agree.” She said. She didn’t know why she said that, but she felt relieved when Atsumu requested for extension on her behalf. 

“Very well. By Atsumu’s coming of age banquet, you should have your decision already. We cannot prolong this any longer.”

(y/n) bowed down and pardoned herself for the trouble, then the king dismissed her saying that he would like to talk with his son in private.

After that meeting, (y/n) was avoiding Atsumu in the castle grounds for days. She has come to terms that she was indeed in love with him, maybe this was the reason why she was purposefully avoiding his usual routes. I won’t give him the pleasure of finding out that I’m in love with him, he’d probably wouldn’t let it pass by easily. 

Atsumu’s banquet was only three days away. He’s been in a bitter mood when (y/n) would avoid him. You think you’re slick? If you’re avoiding me then I’ll just have to see you myself then. He planned to sneak out again late at night and visit her. 

“Where are you going at this time again?” Osamu asked when he caught Atsumu carefully walking down the hallways. 

“Be quiet.” Atsumu said. “I’m going to visit my lady tonight.”

Osamu gave him a disapproving look. “If Shinsuke caught you he won’t hesitate to hit you even though you’re the crown prince.” 

“That’s why I’m sneaking in.”

“I’m amazed at how stupid your ideas can get at some point.” Osamu sighed and felt a coming headache. He knows that he couldn’t stop his brother no matter what. Besides he also wants (y/n) to be part of the family. Though he wouldn’t say to Atsumu that he’s willing to cover up for him.

Now that Atsumu was in her family’s home, he doesn’t know where to start looking. He expected to see her at the training grounds but she wasn’t there. He hoped that she wasn’t in her room, that would make the situation hard, but he would still think of ways to see her even if that was the case. 

As he walked around the south area of their house, he finally spotted her in the garden sitting next to a tree. He cautiously moved closer to her hoping that she wouldn’t notice him.

When he was close enough, (y/n) quickly turned around with a small dagger in her hand pointing it close to his neck. Atsumu almost yelled at her sudden defensive stance, his eyes widened and cold sweat formed in his forehead.

(y/n) was clearly surprised when she realized it was Atsumu. “What the hell are you doing here?” she gritted as she dropped the dagger. 

“What are you doing with a dagger?” Atsumu hissed back at her.

“For self-defense, for situations just like what you did a few seconds ago.” Atsumu couldn’t reply back to her response, it was his fault either way. 

“I came here to see you, you’ve been avoiding me.” He said. He sat down and leaned on the tree.

“Well, it’s getting late. I’ll go back inside now.” (y/n) said and was about to walk away when Atsumu grabbed a hold of her hand and pulled her to sit next to him.

“No, you’re not getting away this time.” He acted on impulse and wrapped his arms around her. “Though it may be disrespectful for me to act like this, but no way you’re going to escape.”

“Alright, I won’t go anywhere, so you better let go now.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure.” Slowly, Atsumu removed his embrace already missing the feel of it. 

“Care to tell me why you’re avoiding me?” 

“I wasn’t.” (y/n) denied and tried her best not to meet his eyes, but Atsumu was persistent as he leaned down and tilted his head to catch a glimpse of it. “I just got busy, that’s all.”

“Liar.” He claimed. “Look me in the eye, my lady.” 

(y/n) slowly shifts her gaze to meet his. Once it did, Atsumu gave her a wide smile where his eyes crinkle into slits. “There we go. Now tell me, why are you ignoring me?” 

She let out a sigh. Atsumu can be very persistent if he really wanted to know and would not give up until he got an answer. “It’s kinda unfair for the other noble ladies. I always get more chances to be with you since we grew up together.” Excuses.

“You’re not really going to tell me honestly? Fine. I’ll not push the subject.” Atsumu said.

How can he see through me like that? Am I getting easy to read?

“But.” He continued. “Stay with me for a little while. I miss talking with you.” 

(y/n) nodded and relaxed herself. It was silent for some time, both of them just gazing at the starry night above them. She could feel Atsumu’s peaceful breathing next to her. It was a comforting atmosphere. 

“You know. I always wonder what it feels like to be just a noble or even a commoner. No responsibilities whatsoever, I could easily marry the girl I want, no sneaking out at this hour.” Atsumu started to ramble, breaking the silence.

She turned to him, bracing her knees closer to her chest and rested her chin on top of it. “Well, I think it’s not much of a difference. Sure the responsibilities would be different. But we still have a role to play. Also, love doesn’t come easy, there would always be sacrifices you have to make and obstacles ahead.” 

“Hmm. You got a point. Life, in general, isn’t easy.” 

“Do you not want to be the King?”

“I had thought about it, but as I grew up I learned to appreciate the role.” 

They continued to talk about random topics, from serious to something funny. Atsumu was so carefree that it was also affecting (y/n), whenever he laughed she would also laugh. And maybe it was because of the moment they were sharing right now, or maybe it was how beautiful the night sky is, maybe it was how Atsumu’s eyes sparkled under the moonlight, she just found herself leaning closer and kissed his cheeks. Atsumu had stopped laughing when he felt the feather light kiss she did.

Registering what she had done, she immediately pulled back and blinked away in surprise. Atsumu turned to her and looked into her eyes, mirroring her expression. 

“(y/n)?” His voice was a whisper but it was loud in her ears like it was echoing. She felt her cheeks heats up and blood was rushing through her head. 

“I, it’s getting late. I gotta go now.” She stuttered and quickly stood up. 

Atsumu was quick to act and grabbed a hold of her hands once again. “What did that kiss mean? You just don’t go kissing someone, (y/n).” He interrogated. 

She hid her face by looking to the other side, hoping that her hair would mask her expression well. 

“Do you love me, my lady?” He asked as he took a step closer to her, squeezing her hand hoping that she would get the message and look at him. 

“No…” She replied, but her tone was unsure.

“You seem to have formed a habit of lying. That’s not good.” He teased. The shade of pink in her cheeks, how she was not trying to pull away, how she was acting shy and flustered all of the sudden, was enough of a sign for Atsumu to know. 

“I love you, my lady. Only you.” Atsumu said and kissed her hand before he let go of it. “You should go home now. I’ll see you in two days.” 

As he was walking away, he was slowing down to hear if she'd say something. Though there might already be a distance between them, he would not miss the sound of her voice even if it was only a whisper in the air. 

“I love you too.”

Atsumu felt his heart swell in joy. He tried to hold himself back from running to her and to spin her around as he declared his love for her again and again. 

“Good night, my princess.”

“So, did you make a decision already?” The king asked again. He ordered them to meet before the banquet started. 

“Yes, your majesty.” 

“Care to tell me now?” 

“I love being a knight.” She paused, she suddenly felt shy about telling her out loud. When she and her family talked about it, it was honestly harder than the first time she was holding a real sword. But it felt nice to be honest towards her feelings, everything felt clearer. “But I love Atsumu more, that I’m willing to give up being a knight.” She finally said, every word that left her mouth gets quieter.

“I’m happy to welcome you in the family, I know it was unfair for the other noble ladies, but I have always favored you from the very beginning. I’m sure you can still use your skills you learned as a knight some day.” He gave her a fatherly smile that she hasn’t seen in so long, he would always smile at her like that when she was a little kid.

The king dismissed her and she bowed down in return. 

Atsumu asked (y/n) to dance, his smile couldn’t be contained. It wasn’t because of the banquet, or the people that had greeted him, or the gifts he received, it was because of the lady he’s holding right now. 

“My princess.” Atsumu lovingly said. 

“Shut up. It’s not yet officially announced.” She said and glared at him. 

“Well we could always whisper in the air our declaration of love.” 

“Speak one more time, and I’ll change my mind.”

“You can’t do that. Father already knows, so you can’t just take back what you said to him.”

 She rolled her eyes at him and did not reply. He pulled her closer to him and continued to lead her in the dance. His eyes transfixed on hers and she averted her gaze, feeling embarrassed at how he looked at her. 

Atsumu tuned out the rest of the crowd as he only focused on her, everything felt complete. It was worth the agonizing wait.

[alicemitch09writes]

「 About Writer

Alice is a pen name, feel free to call me so.

28 going 29   • Filipina

you can find me in ff.net, ao3, and occasionally on my dA (which i’m debating if i should delete or not lol)

Warning: I mostly write angst. There is no guaranteed happy ending, because life decides if you should get it or not. Also, and sorry to disappoint, but I write hetero fics. All my reader-insert fics are from a female’s perspective.

DISCLAIMER: I own nothing but the plot. All characters from the series below belong to their respective owners and were borrowed only for fanfiction purposes.」

「 STATUS: semi-hiatus, busy trying to find ideas, crocheting, playing video games, and surviving the trivialities life throws at me.」

lame (series)

be careful what you wish for (one-shot)

sunshine in your smile (series)

bad girl (one-shot)

(un)loving miya atsumu (series) 

    ➾ forever person epiphanies

Random texts 1 2

most unlikely (one-shot)

     ➾ heart and soul (and perfectly made madame croques) (drabble) 

    ➾ onigiri and his umeboshi (social media au) 1 2

     ➾ umeboshi and her onigiri (drabble)

     ➾ first time (drabble)

outsider looking in (one-shot)

    ➾ too much of a good thing (smut)

    ➾ polaroids (drabble)

   ➾ the one with suna’s sister (social media au) 1 2 

  ➾ ink-stained confessions

enigmatic kalopsia (one-shot)

   ➾ hiding and seeking (i’ll take what i can get) [direct sequel]

exam jitters (one-shot, social media au)

first love (pt. 1)

skinny love (pt. 2)

last love (pt. 3)

written in the stars (one-shot)

star starry night eyes (one-shot)

rewrite the stars i ii

the catastrophic history of us (one-shot)

red strings (tentative title)

gojo siblings one-shot

the babysitter (one-shot)

curious about my works? feel free to ask :3

also, please don’t forget to tip my writing!

[scandeniall]

mirrors for friends ch//1

Pairing: TBD x reader (repost bc its not showing up in tags and ive had ppl check too sigh)

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Summary: Youre in a band, Mirrors For Friends with your college best friends Kuroo, Iwaizumi, and Atsumu. They're chaotic, your chaotic but you guys are on your way to the top together. Check a/n at end.

warnings: This IS multichapter. recreational marijuana mention. Everyone is over 21, tags will be added as needed but they're adults what do you expect.

wc: 1253

Inspiring playlists (updated as i find stuff) Apple music | Spotify

Ch. 1 // Mirrors For Friends: The Intro

The air was a mixture of sounds. Instruments being prepped, jokes being thrown, random conversations and the occasional song that played in the background. Just another day in Mirrors For Friends, well for everyone except for you. Earplugs in and an eye mask on, you’d been laying on the dingy couch since you arrived at the bar hours prior. Of course you just had to get a migraine on a day where your band had a show. It was about two hours to showtime, and you were just as good as dead. For once, you were thankful that you had your bassist, Atsumu to cover at least some of your vocals.

Atsumu, Miya. The youngest member remains a complete pain in your ass, but you couldn't see your life without him in it. He was the life of the party, and had been your party buddy during your early 20s. The one always down for a good adventure. You could always rely on him to tell you the honest truth, although it had taken a while to get past his overly blunt nature. Once you did, you saw the resident “pretty boy” for the dork that he was. The one who gets pouts whenever the conversation is moving too fast and he can’t think of a retort fast enough. The one who absolutely melted at the sight of food and would even share some of his brother’s famous onigiri with you. When he's not plucking bass strings he works as an assistant volleyball coach for the local high school. Your love for your band mate had eventually replaced your first meeting with the basest. A meeting than ended in you wanting nothing more than to wipe his stupid smirk off with your fist. You had just started your second year of university, completely minding your business until a stray volleyball made its way to the back of your head. Before anyone could even apologize, you’d manage to throw a few curses at the group of rowdy boys. Your future band mate had come over to apologize but ended it with “maybe you should've been paying more attention.”  After flicking him off you never thought you’d see him again, until you were formally introduced by none other than your drummer.

Hajime, Iwaizumi. The drummer of Mirrors For Friends. The oldest member of your quartet. There was only one year between you and him, but two years between him and Atsumu. Iwa, is the backbone of the band. The most responsible one, having taken care of a drunk you more times than you’d like to admit. If your feet were ever hurting, he’d be the one to give you a piggy back. He definitely looked the most bad ass of you all, with two sleeves of tattoos. Despite that he has a soft spot for the band. He's the most responsible of the band, but you learned that despite that nature, he knew how to have fun. He’d definitely supplied an underage you with alcohol before. When he’s not playing with the band, he's a tattoo artist, and has tattoo’d every member of the band multiple times. In fact, he was the only person you trusted to tattoo you. You’d met him midway through your first year of university, when he was an apprentice. Despite being 19, he’d already had a full sleeve and a shiny eyebrow piercing. In his attempts to calm you down, you learned that he was only a year above you. He was definitely more calming than the jerk that had dragged you to the tattoo shop in the first place. That person being your guitarist.

Tetsurou Kuroo, the guitarist of Mirrors For Friends. He was one of the first people you’d met in university where he ended up being your across neighbor. You’d had your door open in an attempt to get some air circulation in the stuffy dorm, when he noticed your guitar. Full of stickers, it looked used and he was curious. After, finding out the two of you had a common interest in music, the two of you became best friends. He’d ended up being the brother you never asked for. His teasing is similar to Atsumu, however he knew how to keep up. You two became nearly inseparable. He was the member you tended to confide in first, because it was just natural. The one always down to just vibe. You remember the many nights spent in private study rooms, just writing and talking music together. You quickly found out that his writing skills were incredible, not only that but he had the best ear for composing of any of your band mates. Some of your favorite pieces came from writing sessions with just the two of you. When he isn’t antagonizing your band, he works as a TA for a science class at your university. He decided about a year ago to go back to school for a higher degree in biochemistry.

Then there was you. Lead singer, keyboardist, and occasional guitar player when you felt like it. At 26, you’d been in the band since you were 20, and you wouldn’t change it for the world. You loved writing, you loved performing and you loved your boys. Even now when you could feel napkins that you had no doubt were greasy pizza stained ones being thrown at you. It took for the fifth one to hit your forehead to finally sit up, removing both your earplugs and eye mask. Groaning at the combination of fluorescent lighting and noise you shot death glares at your band mates. Who were all miraculously just standing next to one another, pretending to have just been doing nothing but talking. “Would you three do me a favor, and drive off a fucking cliff.”

“I told them to stop,” is what Iwaizumi said, but the smirk on his face said he played a role just like your other idiots.”

“Dude you threw the last one!” Kuroo chimed in.

“Yeah well Atsumu started it”

“What the fuck Iwa- selling me out”

If it weren't for the pounding behind your eyes you might’ve been amused and the usual bickering between the boys. Afterall, it was never serious. If only you could enjoy it.

“Would the 3 overgrown toddlers shut up.” Burying your face into your hand’s you felt the couch dip beside you in the now empty space, and another voice picked up from across the room.

“Yo- what's with the attitude today,” your bassist questioned. He had settled himself on a smaller couch, eyes narrowed on your miserable form. Once he heard the mention of a migraine, his gaze softened. “Tsumu, I’m gonna need to to sing a little more today alright. '' The younger boy nodded, placing a comforting hand on your shoulder. He mentioned something about going to look for a pen and paper, so you two could outline a plan and to make sure you had a stool for tonight.

“You wanna go smoke? It should help a little,” the body next to you moved and you looked up to see Kuroo, offering a hand.. “It’s a spot in the shade out back, c’mon.” You took the hand and before you could head out your last bandmade stopped you.

“I have enough time to go pick up some Advil and maybe some caffeine. Don’t smoke too much, you know how strong Kuroo’s shit is. We still have a show tonight.”

“Don’t worry daddy Iwa, I’ve got our beloved lead singer. We’ll be fine.”

-----

a/n: alright so i’ve been inspired by samwrites Elixir (which YES 100000/10 recommends) AND sam has had an anon talking band au’s lately AND i saw a msby band au edit on twitter so i cracked out my keyboard.

ok but seriously, idk which guy im gonna end up doing so for now itll just be band dynamics, and then whoever sparks my interest or whoever is voted on after a few parts will win. I did a randomizer, got a winner and started but then started feeling the other possibilities. Anyways whoever is not the chosen ones its just friendship, no love triangles and shit. But whoever wins, just know I have a potential plot for ALL ((((im just too un-dedicated and busy with summer college courses to actually fully commit to all of them)))

lastly, this is me again experimenting w/ diff ways of writing so bare with me AND if anyone cares i could make a taglist.

[kokonoiis]

gentle lover── pt. 1 ❝ his favorite place to kiss you ❞

Ⅰ. tokyo revengers ft. k. hajime, i. seishu, m. chifuyu, h. ran, h. rindou. h. shuji Ⅱ. blurbs Ⅲ. tw. the haitaini brothers are asses, reader is shorter than hanma. Ⅳ. a/n. i'm writin my faves to get into the groove of it !! gonna try to include as many of the main characters as i possibly can in this short little series since it's easy to write and good practice

── kokonoi hajime. nape of your neck hajime hates standing in front of people, so he's almost always standing behind you, his watchful gaze always scanning the area for any lingering threats no matter how peaceful the world may seem around you. he just wants the best for you, that much he knows for certain. he worries too much, that you'll be taken away from him before he's really had a chance to protect you, and this overprotectiveness manifests in several different ways. but sometimes, when he's absolutely sure that the two of you are safe, and you're well protected, he'll lean forward, arms lazily wrapping around your waist, pulling himself closer. you can feel just how much he needed the contact by the grip on you, his face buried in the crook of your neck, as if he were trying to memorize everything about you. almost without thinking, his soft lips find the skin of the back of your neck, pressing kisses along your nape until the stress in his body has relaxed. you can feel him smile against your skin as you lean into his touch, needing him just as much as he needed you. he lets his kisses tell you exactly how much he loves you.

── inui seishu. hand seishu is a man known for just using a few words to get his point across, but no one can deny that he's absolutely a gentleman when he wants to be. and for you, he wants to be a gentleman all the time. his rough around the edges and blunt personality are no match for how happy he is when he gets to see you smile a truly happy smile, so he finds himself softening just slightly around you, more so for anyone else. he greets you the exact same no matter where you are or what you're doing, gently taking your hand and bringing it up to his lips, pressing a soft kiss against the back of your hand. it's so sweet, and never fails to bring that smile to your face, which is exactly what he's aiming for. if he can start off every interaction with you smiling, then he knows that he's done a good job as your boyfriend. and now, with your hand in his, he has a perfect excuse to link your fingers together so the two of you aren't separated. doing small things like this has become an unconscious act for him. loving you has become something of a necessity for him.

── matsuno chifuyu. cheek chifuyu prides himself on being a cool and reliable partner, or at least, he tries his hardest to be. he wants to be someone you can lean on when you've had a hard day, someone who can make you cheer you up even on the worst days. he's driven by a sense of right and wrong, wanting to do good for the people around him, and of course, you were the most important person in his life for him. he knew that he could be sarcastic sometimes, and even with as sweet as he tried to be, sometimes his words came out the wrong way, so he didn't like to lean too hard into his words all the way. sometimes all that was necessary was a silly little gesture. the one that he was most fond of himself was to take your face with both of his hands and pepper kisses all along your cheeks until you were nothing but a giggling, blushy mess for him. it made his own face flush up, watching you squirm and try not to laugh as you were bombarded with millions of little kisses all around your perfect face. to him, nothing was better than seeing you laugh like this.

── haitani ran. temple ran likes to surprise you with simple little surprises. he enjoys the way you jump slightly if he sneaks up on you, and the way you glare his way if he's done something a little too silly for your liking. a secret joy of his is the way that he loves you when he thinks you aren't prepared for it, because he's always so stupidly in love with you. he likes feeling your body tense and then relax as his arms find their way around your body, instinctually calmed down just by his presence. he'll hold you like this for as long as possible, whether that's two minutes or two hours, it makes no difference to him. just being able to have that contact with you for any amount of time is a good time for him. he'll lean over, nuzzle your cheek slightly, sorta like a cat almost, before kissing there. and he'll kiss everywhere he can reach. your cheek, forehead, neck, anywhere. but he always goes back to your temple, holding himself for a moment there so he could feel your heartbeat against his skin, the way it quickens just for him. he loves knowing that he has this kind of affect on you, and he'll never take it for granted.

── haitani rindou. corner of mouth rindou finds it so silly how easy it is to rile you up. its as if no matter what he does, he's always going to find a way to annoy you even just a little bit, and that definitely holds true when he's being all lovey dovey with you. he can't help himself, he just loves the way your eyebrows knit together and that adorable pout on your lips when he does something he knows will annoy you just a touch. he'll give you what you want, he always does, but he likes making you at least ask for it, sometimes more if he's feeling a little more devious than normal. when kissing you, he always makes it a point to kiss you everywhere except for where you want to be kissed. first your forehead, then your nose, then your jawline, then your cheek. and finally, when you've asked him enough times to kiss you on your lips, he'll kiss the very corner of your mouth, just barely any contact at all. it never fails to make you whine just a little bit, sometimes you'll even take it upon yourself to kiss him if you're fed up enough with his crap. he thinks it's adorable, and he has no intention of stopping.

── hanma shuji. top of head shuji loves that he can rest his head on top of yours pretty easily. nothing like having his partner in his arms as they chatted about nothing in particular, watching the world around them. he's an unabashed lover, it would take a lot more than anything you could do to embarrass him, and he most certainly wasn't embarrassed about holding what was his, especially if he were in front of other people. but it's not always around other people, either. sometimes he's just at home with you, with you sat in between his legs on the couch, and his slender arms wrapped around your frame, his chin resting on top of your head. he'll mumble something about how you can't sit still, but he makes no movement to try to get you away from him. instead, he picks his head up, and leans down slightly, gently kissing your scalp. it's such a tender moment for a man like him, who prides himself on being someone unpredictable and wild. but it does never fail to earn a surprised little gasp from you, so he supposes it still counts.

──kokonoiis 2024

[smokeybrand]

Domestic Bliss

Listen, i know it seems like a read a ton of Isekai and you’re right, i do. So many of these things, man, and i am unapologetic in my love for them. I’m a sucker for this type of content, ever since i saw Escaflowne on Fox Kids when i was a kid. I didn’t even know what Isekai was but i ended up falling in love with the concept almost immediately. It didn’t help that love was embellished with sh*t like the Dot.Hack and Kingdom Heats franchises, both Isekais in their own right. I’m not going to sit here and tell you that the market isn’t completely saturated with Spirited Away content but i am going to tell that, if you take the time to weed through the trash, you find real gems. Saga of Tanya the Evil, Overlord, TenSura, Shield Hero, are exceptional in there execution and I've already highlighted a few others which i thing are just as amazing which haven’t got that shine yet and at the top of that list, for me, is Chillin Different World Life Of The Ex-Brave Candidate Was Cheat From Lv2!

Chillin’ follows the ex-Hero candidate, Banaza, who was cast out after a summoning for being an incompetent with base human stats. Considered a failure, a second summon was performed, delivering a proper hero with the specs to defeat the demon lord plaguing the world. Banaza  was sent to die but, instead, activated a magic that decimated an a entire battalion of the Demon Lord’s army, increasing his level and giving him the “infinite” stat. Having manifested a ton of brand new magic and abilities, he decided to change his appearance, becoming Fulio. As Fulio, he meets up with the Holy Knights, Barirosa, Blossom, Birelli, and Belano, after taking on an escort request from a small girl who had been refused for several days. Some things happen and our Hero begins his new life in a brand new world. That’s all the plot I'm giving you here because you definitely should experience this pure shine for yourself.

I love this manga for a myriad of reasons but the first thing that made an impression was the art. This thing looks wonderful! Seeing these pages felt like the first time i saw Kubo’s art in BLEACH. i was legitimately speechless. Akine Itomachi looks to be the artist of this particular work but I'm not sure because, as much as i search, here doesn’t seem to be a ton of available content from them. I think this is there first work to be published and, if it is, what a f*cking first impression! The way they draw their figures, their backgrounds, the care placed into capturing such a direct vision; It’s all very endearing. There is a notable delicateness to the touch of their pen and that lends itself to the eye beautifully. I am absolutely in love with this artwork and look forward to whatever else Itomachi decides to do in the future.

Now, the art piqued my interest but the narrative is what got my attention. This was one of the very first “Lazy life” Isekais I've come across and it turned out to be one of the best. The protagonist of this book, Fulio, has no interest to defeat the demon king or be a Hero, he just wants to live his life peacefully with his wife, his new family, and his brand new best friend. Dude doesn’t want any problems but, when they show up on his doorstep, he goes at them with proper intent. There’s a an arc where a certain horrific thing happens to a certain character, and Fulio just loses his sh*t. you can tell, through the writing, that Fulio is truly hurt and viciously incensed. It’s rare that an objective power fantasy instills such raw emotion into their characters but Miya Kinojo does this, consistently, effortless, through this book. Which leads me to my next point...

The character work in this book is f*cking exceptional and has no right to be as fantastic as it truly is. This is an Isekai book, through and through. It’s supposed to be just another narrative about an overpowered harem protagonist, who saves the day and gets all the loot but nope! This story has mad depth and the growth is each character is real. It definitely takes it’s time to show you who these characters, these people, truly are, You grow attached to them, want the best for them, and feel for them when tragedy strikes. There's a scene where a new antagonist is introduced and some things go down. I audibly shouted at my computer reading that because they had come so far as a character and the sh*t that happened to them was straight up cruel. But then the retaliation came and it was violent. Visceral. Pronounced. I felt all of that. All of it. That’s testament to the character work laid all those chapters before. I’ve only ever felt like that handful of times reading manga. Erased immediately comes to mind and when Shion died in TenSura but, again, fantastic character work in both of those books, just like in this one.

Now, all of the stuff i referenced before are solid reasons to check this book out and i enjoy them tremendously but, the thing that keeps me coming back, chapter after chapter, is definitely Risu! Listen she’s f*cking adorable, man, and gives any waifu a run for their money. Risu is one of the strongest characters in the entire narrative and her growth has been a straight up pleasure to witness that maturation. You can definitely see how far she’s come in the latest chapters, from that vicious intent she harbored for Fulio when they first met and i kind of love it. Hell, she’s even the voice of reason when it comes to certain revelation that happen toward the later chapters. Now, I'm not slighting anyone else in this book because, and i cannot stress this enough, the character work in this book is some of the best I've read in years, but Risu definitely takes the cake. She’s getting that Vegeta in Dragon Ball treatment and it’s a real joy to see.

Chillin Different World Life Of The Ex-Brave Candidate Was Cheat From Lv2! is one of the best manga being published today and it deserves as many eyes on it as possible This thing is as strong as Shield Hero, Overlord, and TenSura but no one is talking about it. That’s a straight up crime because it’s a true masterpiece of narrative, characters, artwork, and character development. Even mundane, slice of life chapters are outstanding reads. I haven’t been let down by a chapter yet and look forward to the next drop, every month. That’s rare for me as i actively read hundreds of manga at a time. Some, i don’t mind skipping over, others i wait until there’s a decent backlog to work through but with Chillin? It’s a must read and i thing you all must check it out. Read the first five chapters and if you’re not hooked, I'd be stunned. It really is that good.

[kokonoiis]

gentle lover── pt. 02 ❝ his favorite place to kiss you ❞

Ⅰ. tokyo revengers ft. r. ken, s. manjiro, b. keisuke, h. kazutora, m. takashi, s. haruchiyo Ⅱ. blurbs Ⅲ. tw. slight angst in sanzu's, and also slight mention of obsession in sanzu's. Ⅳ. a/n. second round lets fucking goooooo !! writing another round of guys because i know everyone deserves to be softly loved by their faves

── ryuguji ken. forehead taking care of people comes naturally to ken, everyone already knew that long before it was ever said out loud. he likes knowing that you've eaten three square meals a day, and that you were going to sleep on time and waking up early enough that you had time to lounge around before you really had to do anything. he liked to cook for you and take care of you, often doing your hair in any way that you were feeling that day, knowing intimate things about you without you ever needing to speak up and tell him. he just knew you, heart and soul. the surprising tenderness of a man like him especially shows when he's getting ready to leave for work that day, his fingers finding their way to your chin to tilt your head up as he kissed your forehead, lingering for a moment longer than truly necessary before pulling away. he'd let you worry over his appearance, straightening his collar and smoothing over his outfit. he'd tell you not to miss him too much as he goes out, and that he'll be home before you know it. he'll be thinking of your kiss throughout the entire day.

── sano manjiro. shoulder as much as mikey pretends he's strong as tough, he loves being in your arms. he loves being near you, able to touch your skin, feeling your warmth against his body. it's what brings him peace at night, and what calms him down when he needs a moment just to be human. he loves knowing you're safe, right there in his arms, and he's safe in yours. he doesn't have to worry about much, doesn't have to put on a brave front. he can just simply be mikey, a much softer person than people liked to give him credit for. and that softness is present when he snuggles into your body to press little kisses all along your shoulder, feeling the softness of your skin underneath his lips. sometimes he would stop kissing and just rest his forehead against your shoulder, breathing softly and just taking in the tranquility of the situation. you made him feel safe, and cared for, with your arms around his frame, holding him close to you like you never wanted to let him go. mikey could stay in your embrace forever, just like this for as long as you'd let him be.

── baji keisuke. lips keisuke is not a man who just waits for what he wants, he takes it whenever he feels the need. and that includes kissing you. he doesn't play around, not when he wants your lips on his, although he's always being told that he shouldn't be quite so... much with it. the way keisuke is much like his personality - fiery, strong, passionate. he kisses you like he's never going to be able to kiss you again and he doesn't want to regret his final kiss. even in front of others, he kisses you with the same passion, proudly proclaiming his love in front of anyone around. he doesn't shy away from the thought of people knowing you're his, and he's yours in turn. you mean so much to him that he couldn't possibly deny you of any type of kisses you wanted, but he loves the feeling of your lips on his, kissing him back even if he took you off guard with his kiss. you'll be able to feel him smile into this kiss as his hand finds your chin to steady you, keeping you there for a moment longer as he enjoyed himself. and when he does pull away, he pecks you one more time on your lips, just for good measure.

── hanemiya kazutora. jawline no matter how many times kazutora tries to tell you otherwise, he's impulsive. all the time, he does things without thinking much about it, whether its silly little blunders to accidentally creating a bigger problem that the two of you are going to have to tackle together, and that includes how he loves on you, too. he kisses you without having a direct goal in mind, he just wants to cover you in as many kisses as you'll let him before the two of you have to get on with life. he loves kissing your face, letting you know that you're loved everywhere, always mumbling something under his breath about how attractive he really found you with his hands in your hair. he'll kiss your jawline right underneath your ear, cuz he's able to feel the muscles in your face as you smile and giggle about his cute little ministrations. from there, he can choose where to kiss you depending on his mood. he could kiss lower down your neck until he gets to the crest of your neck, or he could kiss higher up until he reached your lips, it really just depends, but he always starts right there, and had no intention of changing that.

── mitsuya takashi. nose mitsuya really doesn't mean too, but sometimes he finds himself babying you just a little bit. he does enjoy taking care of people, but he also knows that people need to be independent and walk on their own sometimes, too. while he's more than willing to help you out with anything that you could possibly need of him, sometimes he realizes that he could treat you as if you weren't able to do it yourself. of course, he catches himself from doing this any time it starts, and his way of apologizing is always the same. a sincere sorry, saying that he knows you're more than capable of doing this on your own, but he's always there to help you if you need it, and then he presses his nose against yours in a little symbol of his affection for you, before moving away and giving the tip of your nose a little kiss, his hands holding both sides of your face in a loving embrace. it never fails to make you scrunch your nose and giggle a little bit, which is exactly what he was looking for. he loves making you happy, loves knowing that you trust him so much to have him by your side, and he'd kiss you as many times as you'd let him.

── sanzu haruchiyo. wrist knowing that you were alive and okay was everything to sanzu. he needed to know every day that the heart inside of your chest still beat. it wasn't incredibly obsessive, it was just him worrying. he worried that someday he might lose you, or that something bad might happen, even when life was good and calm. always being on alert, several times throughout the day, he would take your hand lovingly, turn it over, and gently press a kiss against your wrist. it was just a cute habit of his to you, but to him, he loved that he could still feel your pulse steadily beating, and especially when it starts to race a little bit for him. there, he would trail up his kisses from your pulse to your arm, depending on whether or not you had the time, until he got to your shoulder, and then your neck, until his lips rested against yours, and his body heat had invaded yours, holding you as close as possible with his fingers now laced in yours. kissing you like this meant the world to him. it let him know that you were safe and healthy in his arms, and that you were still as in love with him as he was with you. and to him, that was everything.

──kokonoiis 2024

[kokonoiis]

NOW PRESENTING. . . ─── INITIATION bonten x fem! reader

9.23.24

" she’s crying ? " if you didn't know any better, you'd really think that kakucho almost sounded worried for you, but no one there had any intention of stopping sanzu from finishing your tattoo. this was something that all bonten executives had to go through, you knew this, almost like an initiation of sorts, and of course you were no exception to this case. but it didn't help that you were shirtless, and you could feel the eyes of several men staring at your body, taking in the sight before them. a few seemed to be enjoying your pain far, far too much, but you were in no position to say anything to them at this very moment even if you could, not when you could barely get out a sentence without whimpering. “ pathetic little bitch can’t even stop crying f’me, “ sanzu murmured underneath his breath, his hand finding its place on your hip, holding you still firmly against the chair. “ stay still for me or i’m gonna fuck up, i’m almost done. shit. “

──kokonoiis 2024 / tags and warnings below the cut !! MINORS DO NOT INTERACT.

warning ; DEAD DOVE : DO NOT EAT DARK CONTENT. READER'S DISCRETION IS ADVISED

taglist ; reply with ' 🖤 ' to be part of the taglist when the fic drops <33

active characters ; hajime kokonoi, haruchiyo sanzu, ran haitani, rindou haitani, takeomi akashi mentions of ; mikey sano, kakucho, kanji mochizuki

synopsis ; you work with closely with one of bonten's executives, hajime kokonoi, to sniff out any potential weak links or moles within the upper ranks. and you're pretty good at your job, too, at least you haven't had any complaints from hr. after a job well done and three men sent directly to the chopping block, you've been promoted as an executive yourself ! haruchiyo sanzu will personally see to your bonten tattoo getting done, while the others watch you intently. half naked in front of these powerful men, with sanzu's knee pressed right in between your legs, you realized you were definitely in over your head on this one.

tags ; dubious consent , degradation , praise , gangbang , power imbalance , pain play , exhibitionism , voyeurism , groping , mention of drug usage ( sanzu ), mentions of alcohol ( takeomi & rindou ), sadism , masochism , dacryphilia , violent sex , oral ( m. receiving ) spit kink , asphyxiation , fear play , face fucking , mind break , coercion almost , free use , violent language , unprotected sex , handjobs , misogyny ( takeomi ) , slutshaming ( takeomi, again ), bukkake , insults , mean characters , throat bulge , breath play , borderline unconsciousness , hair pulling , overstimulation , mentions of a breeding kink , multiple orgasms , mentions of a collar , dry humping just a little , humiliation , control , spitroasting , nipple play , canon typical violence , mentions of death several times , gang antics with bonten , and more...!

word count ; 20,000+

[kokonoiis]

tattoo canvas── ❝ just like the tattoo you just got, being a part of bonten is was lifetime decision. ❞

Ⅰ. tokyo revengers ft. BONTEN. s. manjiro, h. ran, h. rindou, kakucho, k. hajime, a. takeomi, s. haruchiyo & gender neutral reader ! Ⅱ. drabble / 1.9k wc Ⅲ. tw. blood mention, pain, embarrassment, tears, sfw nudity, sfw but horny undertones, sanzu being cruel to reader as he tattoos reader, cursing, name calling ( bitch ), mention of death / corpses / killing, sadism & masochism, power play if you squint, pain with little comfort, small mention of drugs ( sanzu. ), mention of mocchi but i forgot about him deadass Ⅳ. a/n. i took getting the bonten tattoo and i gave it horny undertones because that's who i am as a person. it's sfw but ,,, well, you know. they're sadistic little shits who love seeing other people in pain. and that's okay, that's what i'm here for. strong warning to read the tw's they might be important this time bestie.

" can this bitch stop fuckin' squirmin' ? " you could hear sanzu's voice cut through your thoughts and the sound of the tattoo gun whirling that made your head spin a little bit. you felt a little pathetic, around all of these important men, shirtless and sat in a dirty old metal chair in the warehouse where a few men lost their lives because of you today. your hand was covering your chest, keeping the skin taunt for sanzu as he hovered over you in between your spread legs.

" hey, that bitch just caught the traitors and killed them all, you should be thankful they were doing your job, " ran's almost cheery voice hummed from somewhere behind you, leaning in forward as he inspected your face. you were trying to keep it together, you really were, but your entire body was shaking from the pain of the tattoo needle repeatedly going into the delicate skin of the center of your chest, and it didn't help that it was sanzu of all people who was doing your tattoo. sanzu, who was most definitely doped up and seconds away from passing out at any given moment.

with a scrunched up face, you tore open one of your eyes to see kokonoi staring down at you, his features unreadable other than a small little smile on his lips. you couldn't be sure of what any of them were thinking, and you'd given up on trying to figure that out a long time ago. " i guess this means mikey's gonna let you into his close ranks, right ? excited about that ? "

entirely unsure whether or not he was just trying to ask you in earnestness, or if he was trying to keep you focused on something other than the sharp, unending pain burning at your chest, you opened your mouth to say something, anything, whether it was a smart retort or just a short answer, but the only thing that came out was a small whimper that came from deep within your throat. you could hear laughter spread throughout the men. even sanzu himself had to stop what he was doing to laugh at pitiful you were right now. you, who was supposed to be so dangerous, couldn't even handle a little tattoo.

" that was actually kind of cute, " rindou haitani chuckled softly as he teased you, squeezing in between his brother and kokonoi to get a look at you. " they're actually really cute when they cry out like that. " something about the way that he said that snapped something within you, or maybe it was the pain of sanzu digging a little too deep into your skin, threatening a blowout even though he said he had done this for a few of the other members and mikey gave the go ahead, and you couldn't stop yourself from feeling the hot tears form in your eyes, your bottom lip wobbling as you squeezed your eyes shut so you wouldn't cry as bad. you were crying, you were really crying like a poor little school kid.

" they're crying ? " if you didn't know any better, you'd really think that kakucho almost sounded worried for you, but no one there had any intention of stopping sanzu from finishing your tattoo. this was something that all bonten executives had to go through, almost like an initiation of sorts, and of course you were no exception to this case. but it didn't help that you were shirtless, and you could feel the eyes of seven men staring at your body, taking in the sight before them. a few seemed to be enjoying your pain far, far too much, but you were in no position to reprimand them at this very moment, not when you could barely get out a sentence without whimpering.

takeomi lit a cigarette, tapping his foot almost impatiently as he listened to a few of his coworkers coo over you, sounding more than a little annoyed that he was still here and not half way home right now. you were the one getting stabbed repeatedly by sanzu and he was the one who was upset ? that was just typical of takeomi. but infuriating nonetheless. " aren't you almost done, sanzu ? how long does it take to tattoo someone ? "

" i have to do it right ! " sanzu argued back, his voice dragging on at the last word, stopping only for a moment to wipe away the spilled ink from his masterpiece. " and this is their first tattoo, they're not exactly sitting down for me the best right now, you know ? "

" maybe you're just not the best when it comes to tattooing someone, " ran joked underneath his breath, and you swore you could feel the anger emanating from sanzu, but he was forced to keep quiet as he continued to draw permanently on your skin. you really didn't know what you were going to do if they started arguing while in the middle of your tattoo, but you were also crying too hard to really notice the bickering going on around you. " but you're almost done, so you can breathe easy in a bit. "

" until we pull out the alcohol, " rindou joked, earning a chuckle from his brother, while kakucho sat his hand on your shoulder from the side of your chair, leaning down slightly.

" you're alright, " he mumbled, and you could feel yourself wanting to hiccup from how heavy you had been crying, the tears flowing down your cheeks in a way that you couldn't stop them even if you wanted to. you wanted to kick your feet and thrash about, but you were forcing your muscles to tense up and feel like lead so you didn't do something like that and fuck up the tattoo or, worse, elongate this process even more than it already was.

" yeah, you're almost there, " kokonoi joined in to comfort you from behind you his hand ghosting over your neck, holding your chin and tilting your head back. " just a little more. you can take it, right ? just a little more, and then you're done. "

" n-no, " you finally managed out, shaking your head adamantly. there was no way you could do this, it hurt way too much, but at the same time, it's not like you were given a choice in the matter, anyways. the tattoo was already started, all you could do was finish it now. it felt like your skin was on fire, the pain was so bad you involuntarily shook from it. you couldn't even take any deep breaths, forced to take quick, shallow breaths, making you feel almost lightheaded and claustrophobic in the musty warehouse; the scent of blood never truly gone from this entire place and filling your nostrils.

" pathetic.. " sanzu muttered, shaking his head as he looked up at you through his long lashes, although your eyes were trained on the sickeningly sweet face of kokonoi, as if he would come to your rescue or save you from this. the haitani brothers seemed to revel in your pain, while kakucho and kokonoi aimed to give you some semblance of comfort. and sanzu ? he was making it worse on purpose. " you wanna be part of bonten and you can't even take a little needle ? you're miserable, really. "

" maybe we should toughen you up, " rindou agreed, his voice holding a hint of playfulness as if he were just teasing about something typical, although it was much less of a serious suggestion and much more of a tease aimed towards you. " some pain practice could be good, you know ? can't have you squealing if you get caught by the cops and they decide to torture you. "

" we can do so, so much worse than the cops, " ran laughed softly, and you could hear his footsteps as he walked away from the rest of the bonten executives. finally, after a moment, ran's voice spoke up again, this time further away, carried by the echoing of the warehouse. " boss, the tattoo is done. "

as if ran announcing it to mikey was the sign sanzu was looking for, he pulled the tattoo gun away and turned it off, standing up straight and sitting it down on the roller cart beside him. " it's gonna be cold and then painful. don't be a bitch about it. " was all that sanzu said to warn you as he grabbed a wet rag, cleaning off the spilled ink from your chest. the coldness shocked you, causing you to jump up a little bit, and you felt kakucho's hand on your shoulder tighten just slightly.

then, completely out of the blue, sanzu squirted the isopropyl alcohol directly onto your chest from the bottle, before wiping it off with some soaked gauze. you gasped, letting out a truly pathetic little scream as he cleaned the area almost too harshly for you. you'd been told that the alcohol hurt a thousand times worse than the actual tattoo itself, but it still managed to completely take your breath away, especially with sanzu's cruelty. kokonoi's hand moved from your chin to your cheek, gently wiping the tears that fell from your eyes. the act itself was so much kinder compared to the spinning in your head, almost enough to make you forget about everything around you. you wanted to nuzzle into his hand and cry, but you stopped yourself from doing that.

" sit up straight, " rindou's voice cut through to remind you, and you to your eyes away from kokonoi to look up at him, realizing that mikey was on his way, the footsteps of two men slowly echoing a few yards away from you. you picked yourself up, straightening up as you tried to make yourself look even remotely in control of yourself. you knew without looking that your face was red and your eyes were puffy, and there was a layer of sweat that thoroughly coated your skin, in part because there was no air conditioning in the warehouse. you looked miserable, that much you could already tell. but hopefully mikey approved of the tattoo.

kakucho and kokonoi stood up straight as well, stepping back away from you to be in line with takeomi and the haitani brothers. you wondered for a moment where mocchi was, and if he was going to be coming back for a few more bodies for the rest of you to dispose of. mikey walked around from behind your chair, moving sanzu so he stood in between your spread legs as well, admiring the scrutinizing tattoo on your chest.

" you whine a lot, " mikey pointed out simply, his dead eyes flicking from your chest to your face, and then back down. " but the tattoo is done and it's not that shaky. you can put your shirt back on now. "

reaching for the fabric you had sat in your lap, you felt something drip down from your chest, and when you looked down, you saw a line of your own blood fall from the tattoo down your stomach, before soaking into your pants. " it's gonna bleed a little, " ran mentioned, as if hearing your unspoken surprise. " don't worry about it. "

" welcome to the inner ranking of bonten, " kakucho gave you a look, his eyebrows knitted together in concentration. " pray you don't disappoint. "

you figured, just like the tattoo you just got etched permanently into your skin, being a part of bonten was a lifetime decision. there was no going back after this, just finding a way to move forward with all of the blood on your hands, even if it's your own. you had an odd feeling in the pit of your stomach, but as you threw on your shirt and shakily stood up from the chair to approach the men, you refused to acknowledge it.

──kokonoiis 2024

[kokonoiis]

artist's admiration── ❝ maybe falling in love with kokonoi hajime was easier than you thought it'd be ❞

Ⅰ. tokyo revengers ft. idol ! k. hajime x stylist ! gender neutral reader Ⅱ. drabble / 1.5k wc Ⅲ. tw. slight abuse of power if you squint but also not really at all. Ⅳ. a/n. alright we're so here to kick off the bonten idol au that i've been cooking, of course i have drabbles planned for all of the members and some more characters than just the bonten idols so,,, let me cook let me cook. most won't be nsfw for now but the nsfw is coming i'm sure

" haji- what are you doing ? " kokonoi knew what that tone of your voice meant better than anyone else. he knew he had a few second in total to stop everything that he was doing, but with the eyeliner wand in his hand, he was already committed and had no intention of stopping already. it was just a little graphic eyeliner, it couldn't be that hard, right ? he swore he remembered doing it all the time whenever he was in junior high, so he couldn't be so bad at it. at least, no one came up to tell him that his eyeliner sucked, so that's all he needed for confirmation that he wasn't terrible at eyeliner.

but before he really got to test his hypothesis, you were already behind him, your arms crossed as you hovered over kokonoi while he squinted at the mirror, trying to really see what he was doing. " you don't have your contacts in, do you ? "

" no, they give me a headache whenever i'm performing. the fans say i always look mad whenever i'm performing so i don't want to wear my contacts anymore, " it sounded reasonable to him, but you just let out an exasperated sigh, reaching over him to grab the eyeliner pencil from his hand.

" if you can't see what you're doing, how do you expect to be able to actually draw a good wing ? " you asked, trying not to show your annoyance at his flippant nature, knowing that if you got into an argument with him over something like this, it could last hours or more, and you really only had about forty minutes to completely do his makeup now that kokonoi was fitted into his stage outfit. but, of course, you couldn't just let it go without being a little annoying about it. " besides, i've seen what you looked like in junior high.. i don't think you're, uh, practiced enough to my standards. whatever is on your face in forty minutes reflects my skills, so i need to make sure it's perfect or its my head on a spike. understood ? "

" not really. " kokonoi looked up at you through his mirror, shaking his head as you settled down into a stool next to him. you swiveled his chair around so he was facing you, and redipped the eyeliner wand, leaning forward to do your job.

" maybe i'll teach you how to do your own eyeliner when you're not going to be headed off onto stage, yeah ? " you mused out loud under your breath, that focused look in your eyes as your free hand took his chin and tilted his head so he was looking straight ahead, resting your hand there just in case you needed to move his head again. " then we'll have much more time to thoroughly teach you and it won't reflect poorly on me, you know what i mean ? of course i want you to do your own makeup if you like it, but damn, i can get fired over this. "

there were unspoken words that refused to fall from your lips, of course. you were a makeup artist first, and everything else came second. that included any feelings that you might have towards anyone you might be working relatively closely with. and kokonoi hajime was on that list of people you couldn't really afford to fall in love with.

you spent at least an hour or more nearly every single day with your makeup kit looking at his face all day every day, and with that closeness came natural conversations. you learned the two of you had a lot of things in common, like how you both really enjoyed sweet things and really didn't have a taste for anything spicy, or how you both enjoyed messing around with fortune telling from time to time. just small things about both of you that you've learnt over the span of your time as a makeup artist for bonten.

but no, you couldn't fall in love with kokonoi, it was literally your job on the line. the only reason you landed it in the first place was because you were in a relationship at the time, and it was an unspoken rule that a makeup artist had to almost prove that they wouldn't fall for their idols. lord knows what would happen if someone caught wind of your feelings for him, or if the wrong people snitched. those emotions weren't necessary for your job, so you cut them out.

while trying to push him away, though, he almost seemed to lean harder into talking with you, as if he'd never met anyone who he couldn't sway with his words one way or another. but you were stubborn in your ways, and you made sure that he was always aware of how hard headed you could be. and that stubbornness really was what kept you from really connecting with the romantic feelings that had sprouted for kokonoi.

" you're staring. "

you blinked a couple of times, your eyes widening slightly before you narrowed them again, dragging the eyeliner across his lid. " well, yeah, i'm trying to fix what you did. " the lie was effortless, but not perfect, especially since he really only made one simple line and it really wasn't going to be hard to fix at all.

" uh huh, " kokonoi found himself laughing softly, a knowing smile on his face. " if i didn't know any better, i'd say you're falling for me. "

" me ? falling for you ? no, never, " you denied it pretty adamantly, turning his head so you didn't have to fight with filling in the pretty thick wing that you gave him. the rest of his makeup was simple, so you wanted the wing to be the standout point this time. he had monolids, so the bat technique was your favorite to use on him, and it worked pretty well as long as he could sit for the extra time while you filled it in with the fine tip of the wand.

you kinda liked how he never fought back with you as you moved his head from time to time, your hand sat on his chin comfortably. it gave you some sense of power and made you feel a certain way whenever he looked up at you and the two of you made eye contact with each other. but.. that didn't mean you were falling for him. " i'm your makeup artist, koko. "

" and you're pretty, " kokonoi had whispered immediately, as if he didn't even think before he spoke. " i think you're pretty. and i spend quite a long time looking at your face while you're doing my makeup. you always have this one crease in the middle of your brows-- "

" alright, alright, koko, i got your point ! stupid.. "

" what ? i just complimented you and you're going to call me stupid ? rude. "

you felt your cheeks heat up in embarrassment, trying to shake your head an alleviate the blush on your cheeks that you were so sure he was able to see. " you never asked me to compliment you back. that's like giving a gift because you expect one back, kinda rude, right ? " pulling away from him, you admired your work, tilting his head a few ways to make sure it looked good from all angles. of course, it was kokonoi hajime, he was going to look perfect with any makeup you put him in.

" you are a weird one, you know that ? "

" nope. i've never heard that one before a day in my life, koko. "

" oh, then let me be the first to tell you, " kokonoi grinned a little bit, leaning forward to press a small kiss onto your lips, throwing you off guard completely, but not necessarily in a bad way. you found yourself kissing him back within seconds, enjoying the feeling of his lips on yours. he tasted like the flavored lip balm he always applied before you did his lips, and you could smell the cologne he was wearing. were people looking ? you didn't know, and for the moment, you didn't care, either.

when he pulled away, he stood up, brushing off his stage outfit with a nonchalant hum, as if your world wasn't spinning because of him. " i think you're a weird one. but i'll see you after this performance, okay ? you'll have time to teach me how to draw my own eyeliner, right ? "

you weren't entirely sure how well he would do in your class, but you figured that the extra practice couldn't hurt. " uhm. yeah. i'll see you then, i guess. " you mumbled underneath your breath, feeling both deflated and ecstatic about spending more time with kokonoi where you weren't staring into his face trying to make sure that his foundation was even and making sure his eyeshadow was perfect on both sides. " and, for the record, koko. i think you're the weird one. "

" well, make sure to watch this weirdo perform his best ! " you would make sure to watch from the sidelines and silently cheer him on. maybe falling for kokonoi hajime was a lot easier than you thought it would be, and maybe you were okay with that. as long as he didn't ruin the makeup that you'd worked so hard on.

──kokonoiis 2024

[kokonoiis]

negai no astro characters as song lyrics ♡ ( but its biased to my music taste ) ♡

hibaru yotsurugi ﾉ

" cause if boys will be boys, we do the best that we can cover for our brothers while we suffer from our own hands boys will be boys, that's the way that this thing goes mothers lose their sons and their fathers watch them go fathers watch them go "

── boys will be boys | benny

kongo yotsurugi ﾉ

" you can play this at my funeral tell my sister don't cry and don't be sad i'm in paradise with dad close my eyes and then cross my arms put me in the dirt, let me dream with the stars throw me in a box with the oxygen off you gave me the key then you locked every lock when i can't breathe, i won't ask you to stop when i can't breathe, don't call for a cop "

── r.i.p to my youth | the neighbourhood

shio yotsurugi ﾉ

" the power keeps you feeling high, but how low do you sink into your bed at night anchored down with guilt? do you toss and turn from all the bridges you've burned? or are you proud of all the hatred you've earned? a conscience buried deep beneath a heart stuck in a skeleton of greed and eyes that can’t see that happiness is so far out of reach "

── dark storm | our last night

satsuki yotsurugi ﾉ

" here comes the debt collector seems you owe him again dollars and coins can't cut your cheque this time around here comes the debt collector and you owe him again kind words and lies won't save your head this time around, 'round, 'round "

── debt collector | jhariah

( jasper i hope you can see the vision in this one )

torazo yotsurugi ﾉ

" you gotta feel the courage embrace possession if it was easier to shatter everything that ever mattered but it's not, because it's your obsession be a fighter, backbone, desire complicated and it stings but we both know what it means and it's time to get real and inspired "

── cut the cord | shinedown

kuran yotsurugi ﾉ

" i wanna be your vacuum cleaner breathing in your dust i wanna be your ford cortina i will never rust if you like your coffee hot let me be your coffee pot you call the shots, babe i just wanna be yours "

── i wanna be yours | arctic monkeys

kou yotsurugi ﾉ

" 'cuz you see only what you want to your tunnel vision haunts you and you can't see what's wrong and you keep sleeping through the p.m. eyes wide open when you're dreaming you're sleepwalking, just keep talkin and maybe you can talk your way out of this deep end no b plan in your system just tell me what you're thinking i'm scared that you might fall but you're not "

── wake up | eden

terasu yotsurugi ﾉ

" i've dug two graves for us, my dear can't pretend that i was perfect, leavin' you in fear oh man, what a world, the things i hear if i could act on my revenge, no, would i ? some kill, some steal, some break your heart and you thought that i would let it go and let you walk well, broken hearts break bones, so break up fast and i don't wanna let it go, so in my grave, i'll rot "

── revenge | xxxtentacion

kiyochika gido ﾉ

" you're cold on the inside there's a dog in your heart and it tells you to tear everything apart you draw blood just to taste it you hold bones just to break them you ruin everything you touch and destroy anyone you love you're all over me "

── dog teeth | nicole doppleganger

botan ﾉ

" it's so hard to let go you can hear me but i'm invisible but if you dig out your eyes, maybe pain will subside the worst that could happen is you never see me again but the worst is yet to come, my friend "

── hickory creek | whitechapel

shunichiro fudo & kanjiro fudo ﾉ

" two birds of a feather say that they're always gonna stay together but one's never going to let go of that wire he says that he will but he's just a liar two birds on a wire one tries to fly away and the other watches him close from that wire he says he wants to as well, but he is a liar "

── two birds | regina spektor

kinpa yobana ﾉ

" scared of my own image scared of my own immaturity scared of my own ceiling scared i'll die of uncertainty fear might be the death of me fear leads to anxiety don't know what's inside of me "

── doubt | twenty one pilots

──kokonoiis 2024