#❛ verse: shinji ; general canon.

[cheshiresense]

[Last Part]

Can't have a Yuzu POV without a Karin POV lol~

-0-

Karin makes it back before curfew with fifteen minutes to spare. Their brother had extended hers and Yuzu's curfew to 10pm since they'd hit their double-digits, and she's always been mindful to never break it. Yuzu isn't usually one to stay out late, but Karin likes her freedom to wander around without supervision enough that she isn't going to risk a grounding just because she couldn't be bothered to check the time. Besides, she knows kids her age don't get half as much trust or leeway from their guardians, so Karin isn't going to disappoint Ichigo's expectations by not following the few rules he'd set for them.

Not to mention she has exactly zero faith in her own ability - or honestly anyone else's - to slip under her brother's radar anyway. Only an idiot would think they could, and Kurosaki Karin wasn't raised a fool. Sneaking in late isn't even worth considering.

So she's back by 9:45 sharp, and she unlocks the apartment door to reveal a scene in the sitting room that's not entirely unfamiliar ever since dinner last Tuesday.

"Shoes," is Ichigo's greeting, and Karin immediately rallies.

"I rinsed them!" She insists defensively. "Thoroughly!"

She had. Karasu River, specifically that spot where their mother had died so everyone's avoided it ever since like they might get cursed if they stray too close, is a great place to get rid of evidence.

"And now you're thoroughly tracking water through the door," Ichigo points out dryly, which, oh yeah, she is, whoops.

Karin makes a vaguely sheepish face before quickly toeing out of her sneakers and leaving them outside to dry instead. Just her luck that Yuzu dropped a vial of her newest poison yesterday and burned a hole straight through the entryway doormat, and they haven't had a chance to replace it yet.

She shuts the door, drops her duffel bag against one wall, and ambles over to her brother for a hug and a cup of tea from the fresh pot on the kotatsu. Or rather, Ichigo goes about pouring her one while she slumps into his side with a content, if tired, sigh.

Ichi-nii has never really been one for hugs, even when she and Yuzu had been smaller, and that's no different now. Occasionally, on a birthday or new year or when - very rarely - something had made them cry, he'd dole one out to each of them, stiff and a little awkward, but genuine in a way Karin knows he'd had to learn just for them, and that alone had made it precious. Besides, he's never refused their hugs when they take the initiative to go in for one, and Karin knows full well that anyone else would be thrown across the room or tossed out a window, Mizuiro included, so that's just as good even if Ichigo doesn't often return them.

She leans against him now, and he endures it stoically, handing her tea and also casting a surreptitious eye over her for any signs of injury. There are none of course— Karin's been learning how to protect herself ever since her brother had become the undisputed head of the household, even if Isshin still remains determinedly blind to anything related to his son to this day. And on top of that, Ichigo's long since ensured their safety from most lesser predators in this town, so it's not as if they have anything to worry about.

Of course, there are still morons who slip through Ichigo's iron-fisted oversight - or rather, are allowed to slip through - either because they're new to Karakura or they're lured in from a neighbouring town, all of them deemed harmless enough prey for Karin and Yuzu to play with. They make for wonderful test subjects for Yuzu when she's getting creative again, and very convenient outlets for Karin whenever soccer and karate aren't enough to siphon off her excess energy. Unlike Yuzu, Karin really isn't made to sit still or stay indoors all day.

She blinks when Ichigo jostles her out of her thoughts with a nudge and a succinct reminder, "Greet."

Karin's pretty sure there's some kind of What Manners And Social Norms To Teach Your Kids So They Can Fit Into Society self-help book squirrelled away in Ichi-nii's room somewhere. Possibly even a series. Of course, her brother certainly doesn’t follow his own lessons on conduct, but this is one of those things that Ichigo has always implicitly expressed his preference for her and Yuzu to ‘do as I say, not as I do'.

So Karin can only swallow a forbearing grumble along with her tea before nodding curtly across the table, "Good evening, Hirako-san, Urahara-san."

Ichigo's already turned back to some papers in front of him, because bright side— her brother's number of fucks to give begins and ends with the most perfunctory of civilities, so at least Karin doesn't have to waste time on small talk. Yuzu, her crazier half, is the only one of them who actually enjoys that stuff. Karin sometimes can't believe they're related.

"Brat," is Hirako's response, and his voice says amusement but his eyes say caution. Well, amused caution, but Hirako seems to find almost everything a little funny, and it's not even some weird bravado because his reiatsu manifestation is constantly a glittering field of yellow-gold-blue that takes the form of a sunny beach. Usually.

On the other hand— "Good evening, Kurosaki-san," Urahara returns, perfectly polite, with a perfectly pleasant if distracted smile, perfectly suited for someone who's genuinely glad to see an acquaintance's sister home safe. Except his reiatsu manifestation is a fucking ocean of blood, deep and dark and completely still on the surface no matter what he says or does. The only times Karin's seen even just a ripple in it is when Ichigo is talking. Her brother at least seems to have a knack for taking Urahara off-guard. Nobody else though, and the external mimicry of human reactions - no matter how expertly crafted - doesn't impress Karin one bit when she can see the disconnect between his insides and outsides.

So she snorts and goes back to ignoring them both. Since the dinner last week, these two have come back a couple more times, mostly meeting with Ichigo for something or other, probably a ghost-related problem, with Urahara also dropping off a stack of books and scrolls for Yuzu, and they seem like they'll be sticking around for a while. But until Ichigo tells her that they're going to be part of the family, like Mizuiro, Karin's not going to waste her time on getting to know them. Honestly, just by dint of being people, and worse, troublesome ones, means that they're more likely to get themselves offed at the business end of Ichigo's swords than anything else.

"Ichi-nii," She says instead. "I have another away game on Friday. Can you sign me out of class?"

Ichigo makes a noise in the affirmative. "Leave the form on the kitchen table before you go to bed. Is it in Naruki City again?"

"Yeah," Karin makes a face. "Back-to-back matches against Hiromasa. Dunno why they even bother when they're not serious about it anyway. And they're so annoying. We always kick their asses but they still look down on us cuz I'm a regular on the team. What, a girl can't play soccer now? But we literally run the score up into the double digits every time we play and all they say is that they were going easy on us cuz we've got girls on the team!"

She stops and takes a deep breath. She's actually complained about this before, multiple times, ever since she'd turned nine and been deemed old enough - and tall enough - to play in official matches. Or as official as elementary school club competitions can get anyway, and being able to play against other schools was awesome, but that didn't mean some of their opponents weren't dickheads. At least she'll finally enter middle school next year and probably won't ever bump into this particular group of idiots on the field again, but until then, she's no doubt going to complain some more.

And her brother always listens with the sort of patience he wouldn't extend to anyone else's whining, which Karin likes to take shameless advantage of, but on occasion, she also needs other ways to vent, and that was really what today had been all about after enduring last Friday's game.

Right on cue, Ichigo asks without looking up, "Haven't you gotten it out of your system yet?"

Karin huffs and takes another long drought of tea before speaking. "Kind of? But the guy didn't even put up a fight! He even pissed himself, Ichi-nii! Before I even did anything! It was gross!"

Ichigo finally lifts his head just to level a look at her. "You play with your food too much."

Karin stares indignantly back at him. "I do not!"

"How long have you had your eye on this latest one?"

Since like, three weeks ago, but that's not Karin's fault! "It's not my fault he took forever to take the bait. You'd think it would've been easier with the way he stalked my jogging route every single day just to see me in a tank top and shorts. Besides, I was saving him for after last Friday's match! You know, as a treat."

"And now it's already Tuesday," Ichigo mutters, but he also pats her on the head in a vaguely comforting if condescending manner, like he's consoling her for a botched job.

Karin splutters. "Ichi-nii!"

Ichigo smirks briefly. "You're still young. You'll get better. There's no rush."

Karin pouts into her tea. Eleven - literally twelve in less than half a month! - isn't that young. She's definitely not a kid anymore. Ichigo was already scaring the crap out of half the town before he'd even hit his pre-teens. He hadn't even killed anyone yet back then but people twice his size would pick fights with him that he'd always win, and then he had started killing once he'd turned thirteen, which had only cemented his reputation. Karin and Yuzu had had to beg forever to get their brother to teach them some of the tricks of his trade, because they hadn't wanted to wait years to follow in Ichigo's footsteps, and Ichigo had thankfully agreed that it made sense for them to learn how to protect themselves.

Still, no matter how many bodies she and Yuzu have put in the ground - not that many actually, they've got a long way to go to catch up to Ichigo - Karin isn't so oblivious that she doesn't know that a good portion of the respect they receive these days is entirely down to their brother's looming shadow behind them. But everyone needs a goal or two in life, and one day, she wants people to look at her and flinch because she's scary enough all on her own.

"Did you clean up properly tonight?" Ichigo adds like an afterthought.

Karin rolls her eyes. "I would've called you if there was a problem. You know I have like three different cleanup crews and Mizuiro-nii on speed-dial."

She can't wait until she's tall enough to bag and carry adult corpses around on her own. It's embarrassing to have to call someone every time she - okay, she admits it - makes a bit of a mess. It's not an issue when Ichigo is there, and she just has to help him, but when she's alone, it pays to have extra hands in the aftermath, even if it feels kind of like she still has to be babysat.

"Cleanup crews?" Hirako suddenly interjects from where he's just been watching them and listening like he's never heard a single conversation in his life and it's somehow super fascinating. What a weirdo. "Where'd ya get those from?"

Karin squints at him. Why does he want to know? Shinigami old as dirt still don't know how to do their own cleanup?

"They're just local yakuza," Ichigo actually takes the time to answer, which seems exceptionally tolerant of him. He must really like this guy for some reason. "Someone always has some free time to lend a hand, and they don't mind sharing their dump sites."

Hirako arches an eyebrow. "They don't?"

Ichigo smiles lazily at him. "Not anymore."

Hirako stares at him for a beat longer before bursting into raucous laughter, except the sunny beach from before is shifting, sliding, fucking shimmering, and then it's no longer a beach even if it's still a field of yellow-gold-blue. Instead, sand dunes rise where there'd only been wild grasses and rocky outcrops before, an endless desert as far as the eye can see, while the sea isn't a sea at all but something that could be an oasis or just a mirage, now gone hazy behind a wave of heat, and all of it so deceptive and deadly that you might wonder how you could've ever mistaken it for anything remotely harmless at all.

And it's even worse beside him, because Urahara is sitting there, blandly smiling away from behind his fan, and he doesn't look much of anything, but the ocean of blood he's literally submerged in stirs for a minute like there's something large and lethal swimming in its depths. Karin can't see what it is though because the blood is so thick that she can barely even make out Urahara's face, let alone anything else.

She rubs at her eyes. They're giving her a headache. This is why she prefers baseline humans over ghosts. Ghosts naturally have more reiryoku than average living beings, and Shinigami have even more than that - way more - so Karin in turn sees a whole lot more than just flashes of transparent images when she has to look at them. And it would be bad enough if it was just that, but these two lie so much. She doesn't know if it's a Shinigami thing or Ichigo just attracts complications, although now that she thinks about it, Mizuiro had given her headaches at first too. It'd just been easier with him because when he'd started coming over to hang out, he didn't have anywhere near as much reiryoku as these two guys, and now Karin's just used to him so it doesn't much matter anymore.

But these two. She doesn't even know what Hirako's deal is, because as far as she's aware, he hasn't really lied about anything so far. His insides match his outsides, so to speak. But his manifestation also seems to imply that everything he says is as much a truth as it is a lie, or that it could be a lie just as much as it could be a truth, depending on the situation. Which doesn't make any sense, at least not to her.

And don't even get her started on Urahara. That man oozes shady vibes so it's not exactly a shock that his manifestation reflects that. It's just... who the heck has an ocean of blood representing their soul? It's not the fact that it's blood that confuses her; it's that the blood is all there is. Even if you kill a person a day for a thousand years, it can't be all that you are, right? Even Ichigo doesn't have something like that. Although to be fair, his reiatsu manifestation can probably come across as pretty disturbing too. But Karin basically grew up with it so she can't really say for sure. It's certainly never frightened her. Not that Urahara frightens her either. It's just... weird.

Both of these old dudes are so weird. They're the first people she's come across whose manifestations are as complex as her brother's, but she doesn't really know what she can interpret from them because manifestations are different from emotions, and besides that, emotions are her sister's wheelhouse anyway. Yuzu is the one who can pick up what someone is feeling at any moment and extrapolate from there. Karin just gets a bunch of pointless shitty abstract art shoved at her eyeballs, and Shinigami are clearly the worst about it.

And just to make it really unfair, Yuzu says that emotions rarely get too loud for her. Karin doesn't know if it's because her sister had been born with natural talent when it comes to controlling her ability while Karin... hadn't, or if Karin's ability encompasses so much of one of the senses she depends on most in everyday life that it simply affects her more easily, but either way, if the manifestation is a powerful one, then the longer she focuses on it, the more it can overwhelm her.

It'd been almost unbearable at first when she was younger, all of eight years old and finally tapping into her portion of the family inheritance, except even a glimpse of another student with slightly above average reiryoku levels could wipe her out for hours. There'd been days where Ichigo had had to pull her out of school just so she wouldn't have to see anyone, living or dead, and she'd needed almost six months before she'd gotten a proper handle on it.

During last Tuesday's dinner, she actually couldn't even see what Hirako and Urahara's faces looked like until near the end of it. Their reiatsu is just that strong, which means their manifestations appear completely solid and three-dimensional, and that means that those manifestations are the only things Karin sees most of the time when she has to look at them.

She doesn't even get the benefit of practically being able to read minds like Yuzu can. Although Yuzu always says it's nothing like reading minds. Karin remains unconvinced. Emotions can reveal a lot, especially with context clues. Manifestations on the other hand almost never react to whatever is happening in real time. Unlike emotions, they're rarely a consequence of outside stimuli. Hirako's had changed earlier, from illusory beach to the real desert hidden underneath, but that's because his manifestation has always been like that, switching between the two when the mood - his mood - strikes. Even now, it's already settling back onto the beach scene. It may have been somewhat affected by what Ichigo had said - by cleanup crews??? - but it hadn't shown anything that hadn't already been there, part of Hirako's soul.

In contrast, Urahara's the real outlier. Karin doesn't even want to think about his manifestation, never mind look at it. It's not that his soul has become something new either - the whole person would have to be swapped out for that to happen - but she's never met anyone, ever, whose manifestation seems to hinge so absolutely upon one person before. She's not even sure if Urahara is aware of how... fixated he is. And she definitely doesn't know what it means. Ichigo doesn't even like the guy, and Urahara - inside or outside - doesn't seem particularly hung up on Ichigo. Except of course for the little matter of how his actual-facts immortal soul is doing the near-equivalent of placing itself in the palm of Ichigo's hand, which- what. Didn't they just meet like two seconds ago? If Karin actually believed in love at first sight, she'd say this might be what it would look like if it could manifest a physical form in the creepiest way possible, but she doesn't, so to her, Urahara's just insane.

Anyway, no one can blame her for not wanting anything to do with these crazies, especially when coupled with her ability. She wouldn't give it up if she could, because it's hers, and it makes her special like Yuzu, like Ichi-nii, makes her part of the family in a way no one else but the three of them can be, but at the same time, it's honestly a pretty useless skill. Manifestations are just... portraits of souls laid bare, which sounds all kinds of impressive and philosophical but is actually just a fancy way of describing a lifetime of squatting in an art museum with all its exits sealed.

It's terrible all around, made doubly so by their houseguests, and in Karin's opinion, the sooner Ichigo gets tired of them, the better.

The room has gone silent, and Karin only notices when the mostly empty tea mug is plucked from her hand. She's pinching the bridge of her nose with her other hand, eyes closed, but she opens them then to peer up at her brother.

"It's getting late," Ichigo says without much inflection in his voice, but he also pats her head again, and a flare of reiatsu floods her retinas like cold spring water on a hot day, washing away the pain. "Go to bed. Lights out by eleven."

Karin's more than happy to get out of there, away from Less Crazy 1 and More Crazy 2.

"Mm, I know," She gives her brother a quick hug before clambering to her feet. "'Night, Ichi-nii. I'll leave the form in the kitchen."

Ichigo grunts his acknowledgement, and Karin spares a moment to nod in the general direction of the Shinigami before wandering away, pausing only long enough to scoop up her bag before making her way up the hall and to the master bedroom. She and Yuzu still prefer sharing each other's space even though Yuzu is fastidiously possessive about her own belongings, so Ichigo had given them the biggest room when they'd moved in, while he and Mizuiro had split the single and study-turned-bedroom between them. The best perk of this is of course the fact that she and Yuzu get the en suite bathroom to themselves.

Her sister is still up, bopping to some music on her headphones while reading one of the scrolls Urahara had given her. She barely glances up when Karin comes in, although she wrinkles her nose plenty when it's clear Karin hasn't had time to do her laundry.

Karin rolls her eyes and shuts the door behind her. "I won't leave anything lying around, don't faint."

Yuzu glowers at her. "I don't faint!"

Karin snickers as she ducks into the bathroom. "Whatever you say, princess."

The thud of a pillow hitting the bathroom door is her reply. It's actually pretty hilarious when Karin thinks about it. Yuzu's manifestation is a sterile white room lined with perfectly preserved faceless corpses wall to wall, but give her a human body with its guts spilling out, and she immediately runs for the nearest toilet. She doesn't mind the scent of blood, but gods forbid any stains linger where they shouldn't.

Speaking of, Karin digs out the set of clothes she'd changed out of earlier, after her stalker had been dealt with. She hadn't even gotten them very dirty this time, and she'd made sure to scrub everything clean in the river anyway before coming home, but she'll still have to toss them into the washer again if she doesn't want Yuzu nagging her about it. In the meantime, she shoves it all into a vacuum seal bag and leaves it in the corner. She can haul them over to the laundry room next door in the morning with the rest of the past week's load.

Her knives are tucked inside the duffel as well. Those she'll take care of tonight. Ichi-nii went all the way to Nagasaki to commission them for her from a semi-retired blacksmith last year. They're elegant and gorgeous, and they cut like a dream, sheathed in black leather and embossed with a small stylized K on the flat of each blade, only noticeable when the metal runs red. It's the best gift Karin has ever received, and if they ever rust, or she ever loses them, she'll probably bawl her eyes out.

She hops into the shower next, sighing happily as she relaxes under the hot water. Despite the atrocious company Ichigo keeps these days, today's still been an overall good day. She'll be able to go back to her jogging in peace starting tomorrow, and the upcoming match on Friday doesn't seem quite as irritating now that she's had someone to stab a time or ten. Of course, after the match is another matter entirely. Maybe she can tag along to Yuzu's bake sale on Saturday. There's always a couple suckers at the outskirts of Karakura too stupid to live.

It's something to look forward to. For now though, she finishes her shower, brushes her teeth, and then gets to work cleaning her knives. She doesn't have all night.

"Was Onii-chan still talking to Hirako-san and Urahara-san?" Yuzu asks a little later as they get ready for bed because their brother always knows if they stay up too late.

"Yeah," Karin says around a yawn as she sets her alarm. "They might still be out there. Can't you sense them?"

Yuzu shakes her head, leaning over to switch off the lamp on her nightstand. "They're... quiet, I guess. Quieter. I have to be in the same room as them to pick up on their emotions."

Karin hums as she rolls herself into her blankets. "What do you think about them?"

"I don't, really," Yuzu admits easily, so they're agreed on that at least. "Although if Onii-chan gets rid of them, I hope he can wait until after Urahara-san has finished teaching me."

Karin snorts. Typical.

They're silent for a moment until Yuzu speaks up again. "I think they're trouble. I mean, Onii-chan did mention it during dinner last week. But I think it's a different kind of trouble than the usual stuff. Not like yakuza or random creeps or even the monsters. Worse, I think they're going to bring trouble."

Karin frowns into the dark. Well, it's not anything she hasn't thought of herself. It's another reason why she dislikes them. If they've got problems, why do they have to dump them at Ichigo's doorstep? What have they ever done for Ichi-nii?

Still, "Ichi-nii will be able to handle it," Karin says with certainty. She's never known her brother to fail at anything. There has never been a problem Ichigo couldn't solve. He'd even cowed their father without ever laying a single hand on him, and that was back when Isshin had still been stronger than Ichigo.

"Well, obviously," Yuzu says, equally confident. "Maybe Onii-chan will even have some fun with it. I know the monsters don't give him any kind of challenge anymore. And he likes Hirako-san and Urahara-san well enough."

"He likes Hirako," Karin corrects, shooting a flummoxed look at the bed across the room. "Urahara, he could take or leave. I'm surprised Ichi-nii lets him come here at all."

"Yes," Yuzu says with an audible smile. "Onii-chan lets him come here."

Karin blinks. ...Huh.

"So, what, is it like... a crush?" Karin grimaces. Ew. "They're old and weird!"

Yuzu giggles. "I don't think I'd go that far. Yet. Besides, they're also powerful and interesting and not afraid of him, and you know what Onii-chan's like."

"Yeah, but I also thought Ichi-nii doesn't get crushes," Karin grouches. "I can't believe it's both ways."

"Both ways?" Yuzu echoes, and Karin can almost hear her eyes go wide. "Urahara-san too?"

Karin squints up at the ceiling. "What, you didn't pick that up from him? I mean I don't think it's actually a crush. Like you said. But there's something there."

"Urahara-san is a bit strange about Onii-chan," Yuzu agrees thoughtfully. "But I'm not exactly sure what it is. His emotions are hard to read sometimes. Hirako-san is easier. And nicer."

Karin makes a disgruntled sound. 'Nice' isn't how she'd put it, considering Hirako's reiatsu manifestation.

"Hirako-san isn't that bad," Yuzu says, amused. "And they're both kind of like Onii-chan, so that might be good. It's good to have friends."

Karin shrugs and grabs an extra pillow to hug. "Whether they're like him or not, if they do something dumb, Ichi-nii will handle it all the same."

Yuzu laughs, bright and cheerful and just a little anticipatory, even if she does seem to have a better opinion of them than Karin does.

The conversation between them fades away. Karin shuts her eyes and lets her thoughts drift. She has morning practice tomorrow and can't be late, so old weird men calling on her brother are frankly the least of her priorities.

[heartbinders]

TAG DUMP: SHINJI IKARI

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[yomiurinikei]

Hello! I enjoy your blog and hearing you talk about the another cast! (I got into the franchise in like late August, am addicted) uh what would you say is your favorite hcs for some of the characters?

.....i never answered this i am SO sorry </3 gonna try to list off random hcs for a mix of characters!!

1)yuuki + nikei bond over drinking a absurd amount of soda. yuuki drinking mountain dew will always be real to me, and we knowww nikei likes weird and obscure sodas

2)kizuna struggles with being possessive over her items and doesn't like people borrowing her stuff, but if she actually tried it, she'd realize she really likes buying gifts for people

3)kanata isn't super into fashion but she likes feeling pretty, and often feels cute in like... flowy dresses, but she rarely has the time/energy, and feels a bit weird "dressing up"

4)while he felt more in his element in the killing game/had reason to distance himself from the class, and not try to bond with them, in non-despair verses, tsurugi feels really awkward around the others, and has a hard time engaging and making friends. part of this is because he befriended kouhei via kouhei looking at him and going "is for me?", part of it is because he's. ya know. still extremely traumatized by the uh... other thing that happened with kouhei

5)kinji can't draw for shit. like, objectively speaking, he can't get his pencil to do what he wants

6)yoruko dedicates one day a week to taking care of her hair, nails, skin, etc. it helps her feel in control + comfortable with her experience after being bullied, but once she does some more healing with her past, she realizes it's just genuinely soothing now

7)emma isn't very popular with her fellow actors. she tends to isolate a lot when on set, and isn't close with her co-stars. she's very friendly with reports, fans, et cetera though.

8)haruhiko is very "man i wish i liked dudes, girls are totally sweet, but sometimes i wish i could date guys too..." not realizing he literally just described an attraction to both genders.

9)im just generally a queer yuri truther. i remember seeing people say hc'ing him as lgbt was gross. i for one think that looking at how he acts in canon and going "yeah this is fine and healthy and indicative of a good mental status" is gross.

10)mikako had a "not like other girls" phase which she has officially left behind her, but only semi-recently. while working on undoing that mentality, she realized she's sapphic (i hc her as a-spec too tho, maybe aro lesbian? my identity hcs change every three seconds whoopsie)

11)speaking of. EVERYONE TRANS!!! i esp like transhet shinji tho that has a special place in my heart. he's big bro, ur honor <3

okay i want to say more BUT i have a lab due in a few hours and dont want to fall class so. the end!!!!! oh fuck i have to tag this.

[aragakiis]

Okay so like before I get into any writing, I want to talk about Shinji after the events of Persona 3, and into Persona ⅘ events ect ect to help people understand my portrayal a little bit since this blog is still under construction.

First things first, the canon ending for my portrayal is the Comatose Ending from P3P, meaning the whole social link with Minako and the pocket watch happened ( minus the dating. I don’t ship him romantically with the Protagonists, but I think he still could have been saved without the romance ect ect ). 

After getting shot by Takaya, Shinjiro went into a coma for an entire year. If you’re wondering about the final battle, and how Shinji speaks to the protag when going one on one with Nyx, it’s because of Castor, and his connection with Minako/Minato, he was essentially watching that whole thing during his coma, as if he were dreaming. His soul was there during that fight to help. He was there, despite his body being in the hospital.

When he comes to, a year later, he’s aware the protagonist is gone. He has his own feelings about it, but over all, he knows what was done was for the right reasons. What he doesn’t know are the events of FES & The Answer, as he was in his coma during that time.

Shinji is 19 when he wakes up from his coma. He ends up finishing high school, so he can go to culinary school and get away from everything for a while. At this time, he had custody over Ken Amada ( @sociallinked ) and ended up opening a restaurant in Iwatodai, simply called ‘Aragaki’s’ as he couldn’t be bothered to think of anything more interesting. It’s successful, becomes the talk of the city eventually, and Shinji finds himself quite relatively busy since his restaurant is generally packed. It’s a small space, Ken helps him around with the place sometimes. He’s the head chef with his small staff helping around ( probably no more than 5 ppl including himself and Ken ) Shinji would be 22 with his own bustling business ( yea I know he should be 20 during the events of P4A and for my own portrayal I say no, bc Shinji is my oc now and this lore is mine and Aki and Mitsuru DO NOT LOOK 20, DO NOT LOOK AT ME. )

During the events of P4/P4A, Shinji has gone to Inaba a few times to get some things he can’t get in Iwatodai for his business. He has felt something off there—but keeps to himself when he tends to visit. With P4A, he is ( reluctantly ) part of the Shadow operatives, as well. He’s more focused on his own business and raising Ken and taking care of Koromaru, however, he will help them out when it’s needed.

I have to go over @foolshoujo p5 verse again before I can put it in here bc I coordinated Shinji’s P5 verse to that. Stay tuned.

[knightrope]

knightrope : a low activity and private iconless mixed media multimuse, narrated by chai, she/her, 25+. operating on sporadic activity / semi-hiatus. character roster + rules are under the cut. memes.

rules.

all headcanons / original characters stories are mine. however, the media in which they may be inspired from are not.

i will not write or participate in writing explicitly sexual material, holiday specific threads or ships based on infidelity.

if you feature infidelity heavily on your blog (regardless of it being tagged), i most likely will not be following back.

suggestive content may appear but will ultimately fade to black.

force shipping ≠ asking if i ship our muses / wanting to discuss the potential for a ship. i generally prefer to have some discussion romantic shipping before jumping into things to check for chemistry! and, i’m always always down for all other kinds of ships!

i have a preference for plotted threads. but, i do believe in memes as ice breakers + will continue them as threads whenever possible.

notes for plotting: when i say plotting, i don't mean plotting out every interaction between our characters or building a world from top to bottom in one go, this usually means i'd like to discuss how we might proceed with a dynamic / get a general feel of ideas we may have for threads, and build from there on. so, no pressure to have it all figured out!

plotting is also a two way street, please don't leave it all up to me to come up with ideas. this makes me feel uncomfortable and i may softblock if this persists.

trigger warnings will be tagged as 'trigger //'. i ask that you please tag your usfw, jumpscares, and anything involving infidelity.

roster.

original characters ;

ferris caine. "the cleaner". fandomless. zane holtz. affiliated with whitelace.

friday lukas. stormchaser. xmen. rory culkin.

hayato tendou. bleach / modern verse available.

otorobashi akai. pirate captain. fandomless / modern verses available.

takagi seto. bleach / modern verse available. kawaguchi haruna.

ricardo de la fe. private investigator. hancock-inspired. oscar isaac.

canon.

animanga ;

abarai renji. bleach. anime + manga.

hirako shinji. bleach. anime + manga.

ichimaru gin. bleach. anime + manga.

inoue orihime. bleach. anime + manga.

ise nanao. bleach. anime + manga.

shiba kaien. bleach. anime + manga.

unohana yachiru / retsu. bleach. anime + manga.

osaki nana. nana. anime + manga.

takagi yasu. nana. anime + manga.

anya forger. spy x family. anime.

literature;

ellington feint. atwq series. natasha liu bordizzo (older).

kit snicket. atwq / asoue series. amita suman.

movies ;

morticia addams. the addams family / family values. angelica huston.

tv shows ;

connell waldron. normal people. paul mescal.

marianne sheridan. normal people. daisy edgar jones.

REQUEST MUSES ( written privately/highly selective -- feel free to ask ) ; dallas winston, chrissy cunningham, gerry keay, kozume kenma, matthew murdock, max mayfield, nyota uhura, son hak, sylvia sherwood, tomoe.

[madeimpact]

IMPORTANT HEADCANON DIRECTORY

This is a masterpost of headcanons that are most worth knowing on this blog. Seeing as this is a multimuse, I’ll organize it by series and then by character (with general worldbuilding-type meta under the series name and character-specific meta under the character’s name). This will get updated as the blog is around for longer, and none of it is required reading, but it’s helpful if you want to learn more about my take on a character or world!

Series and muse names link to their respective worldbuilding / headcanon tags, while list items link to specific headcanon posts.

ANIMAL CROSSING

Cammie

Who were Camille and Cammie’s neighbors? ( link goes to Camille’s blog, run by Aaron! )

Why Camofrog is important to Cammie

BANDORI

Tomoe

Tomoe and gender

KID ICARUS

Angels, Flight, and the Mechanics of the Power of Flight

Where do Angels Come From?

Structure of the Underworld

Pit

Pit’s reflection after Dark Pit’s appearance

Justifying Pit knowing about other game universes, without godmodding! ( Plus an aside about divine technology )

KINGDOM HEARTS

Telling Roxas and Ven apart

Sora

Misc Sora body headcanons

Sora's parents

MOTHER

Tazmily after the Dark Dragon

Lucas

Lucas growing up bilingual

Post-game Lucas and tech

Lucas’s relationship with Flint

Lucas, mind-reading, and empathy

Lucas fighting during-game

Lucas’s feelings about being in Smash

NEON GENESIS EVANGELION

The world after End of Evangelion

Shinji

Important people in Shinji’s life / NPCs ( cw: abuse mention, internalized biphobia )

Shinji’s upbringing in the anime and rebuild vs manga ( cw: physical abuse )

Shinji’s scars and body image ( cw: self harm, body image, implied toxic masculinity )

Post-canon Shinji and gender

POKEMON

The world map that applies to this blog

Trainer cards

Allister

Allister’s ghostly mannerisms

Kazuya

Kazuya can’t talk about his mom

Kazuya and gender

Kyouhei

Kyouhei and Kyurem ( meta in tags )

Red

Public vs private knowledge about Red

Noctis ( PKMN verse )

Knowledge meme

Prompto ( PKMN verse )

Knowledge meme

SMASH BROS

How Smash works in-universe

VOCALOID

Rin and Len

The twins and gender

Baku / Ren

Important info about Ren’s abilities, general demeanor, and what happens to his victims ( cw: gaslighting )

[keikakudori]

as both an aizen/shinji and kisuke/shinji fan, i have had this in my mind since a while so i shall ask :

how do you believe aizen would react if he ever finds out that after the tbtp divorce, shinji and kisuke as they got closer, started being very intimate ?

random asks | always accepting

i would suggest finding a reinforced bomb shelter, honestly--

jokes(?) aside, it would not go well. i mean, it’s not like aizen would expect shinji to be celibate after the divorce ( though it’s hard to say if shinji would be, if he and aizen had been having a shared intimacy of that nature with one another and then aizen blindsides him with the divorce where he gets custody of the kid, takes over the job, and keeps the house. ) and he certainly wasn’t once gin became a captain b u t. but the thing is -- aizen’s just. uhm. NOT FOND of kisuke. intensely so.

there is a difference between shinji picking some random human to have a fling with, though, and picking urahara fucking kisuke. aizen despises that man with an almost holy intensity because of how much of a hypocrite kisuke is. aizen sees that hypocrisy and it makes him so angry. i mean, for fun thought projects, i like to imagine what would have happened if aizen and kisuke had worked together or if they’d teamed up or any number of things. a lot of the events in bleach would have gone radically different. i even have a fun little verse idea of what would have happened if events had played out as they did in canon, by and large, because aizen knows what’s coming and he and kisuke actually work together. he still hates him in this verse, but ... not AS much. but as far as things are in general? mmmm no that’s not a good thing.

so -- yeah. if it ever came out that shinji and kisuke had had a thing while shinji was in exile, aizen would gladly rip kisuke’s spine out - if he could find it - and beat him to death with it. don’t get me wrong i love kisuke he does such INTERESTING THINGS TO AIZEN’S TEMPER but oh man. it’s -- it just would not be pretty which is why i suggest the reinforced bomb shelter as a viable option here, simply for the fact that aizen really is that kind of dangerous persona who, once inspired into that kind of fury, won’t stop until he’s MADE to stop. and given there’s very few people who could stop aizen at that point? uuuuhhhhhh yeah --

uhm. nuclear threshold, anyone?

oh man this would just be so ugly so fast. aizen would be some kind of offended and angry and just a whole bunch of other stuff. like, of  aLL th E PEOPLE SHINJI COULD GO MESS WITH, IT HAS TO BE THE ONE MAN THAT AIZEN DISDAINS SO PASSIONATELY? yeah. yeah, uh. i think blood would be involved. and bones and uhhhhhh -- hey, who wants a full-chant kurohitsugi with aizen’s power level after the blood war? i imagine that would be one of the LESS lethal options that aizen could produce here. there’d be blood either way.

a lot of blood.

gratuitous amounts of violence --

you know how sometimes the news has stuff they have to censor because it’s too graphic? yeah.

[godkilller]

✵ YOUR TURN BITCH

send ✵ and my muse will answer the following.

Their first impression of your muse:

GIN’S FIRST IMPRESSION OF AIZEN was swift and resolute: he’s the one in charge, he’s the one I want to kill. Little Gin was able to assess that Aizen was not simply some higher-up grunt in the gang of Shinigami he saw out in the woods whilst out collecting firewood. No, he could tell by Aizen’s demeanor, his presence, and the way the others essentially cowered while bowing to him that this guy meant fucking business, so Gin returned that sentiment in kind: it was on sight for Gin, a vow of betrayal and murder was born within the bushes that night. The first time they exchange words -- roughly a year later -- it’s under a similar moonlit night, and Gin has blood and a grin on his face. Aizen awakened within Gin a murderous thing, a boy who once offered food and shelter and kindness  ( then the day we met’ll be your birthday, how’s that sound, Rangiku? )  became Hypponzashi, already had a bodycount by the time he picked up an actual zanpakuto, ripping through the Academy, youngest Shinigami to enter the Gotei 13  ( younger than Hiyori, technically )  and ripping through that Third Seat Aizen threw his way like it was nothing.

Are you proud of what you created, Aizen?

Current impression:  

Gin respects Aizen, when you untangle that sentiment away from the hatred, the hyperawareness of Aizen’s every harm, every misstep, every word toiling away in Gin’s mind as he seeks to understand the most misunderstood and isolated Shinigami of his generation -- bridge the gap, be different than how Shinji tried to understand Aizen, delve into his motives, and how Urahara for all of his wit and foresight couldn’t bear to presume Aizen’s intent ---- and to not fall into the doe-eyed admiration and adoration of Hinamori Momo, oh no, Gin mustn’t bow down akin to Tousen nor quiver in submission like the Espada. HE MUST BE MORE, HE MUST KNOW AIZEN MORE. Understanding what Aizen was lacking from the people surrounding him, picking at what the man yearned for; by showcasing this attention to detail, it presents the undeniable truth that Gin and Aizen are compatible, they’re similar because Gin molded himself to that. And oh, did Gin truly dive right the fuck in, and intertwined himself like a serpent coiling lovingly around their prey -- the murderous intent -- there are thorns of respect, a different brand of love even, all woven into the way Gin views Aizen. Gin isn’t always seething with rage at the man, after all. They’re equals, in many cases, or Aizen’s his captain again and he’s watching his back  ( or lurking at it )  and they’re partners in crime, it’s very much an ‘us vs. them’ light with them at times ---- and Gin has to admit that IT’S FUN ---- his humor’s rubbed off on Aizen, and they’ll make each other chuckle and smile and it’s so utterly exciting to have someone as intelligent as Aizen to bounce off of, Gin’s genius is thriving; AIZEN NEVER BORES HIM.

Gin can be at the top of the world, swept away into the facade and consumed by the banter and bickering, the bloodshed and the long nights spent scheming about other’s lives akin to pieces on a chess board. Gin wouldn’t have gotten as close as he got to Aizen without thinking alike, and understanding Aizen’s point of view. Gin’s absorbed so much of Aizen, quietly, observations and adjustments made to his act until he felt it was natural. Gin faked it till he made it. Gin doesn’t know who he would’ve been without Aizen in his life, and ultimately can’t even begin to comprehend a guess. It’s easier this way, it’s easier to just keep submerging than try to swim to the surface. He’s gotten so good at holding his breath.

Gin’s tether in this hurricane, however, always remained Rangiku. He can’t fall all the way, even if he believes he has, even if he thinks he’s sunken so fucking low and gone too far for too long with Aizen, AIZEN WILL NEVER HAVE ALL OF GIN THANKS TO HER.

Are they attracted to your muse?:  

Have you seen Aizen? Gin isn’t blind. But he’ll play the part; we don’t want Aizen’s ego getting any bigger, do we? Or maybe he could play that angle, swoon just a little -- in that case Gin’ll shoot for his head, it’ll be so enlarged and impossible to miss.

Something they find frightening about your muse:

IT’S COMPLICATED. Gin acknowledges that Aizen’s scary, he’s not dumb; a wise fighter knows when to nod to their enemy when they’re a strong one. Gin’s unsettled when Aizen begins the evolutionary process against Urahara and co. and is visibly shaken when Aizen doesn’t heed his warnings and destroys the sweeper with a fucking look. That’s one of the two moments Gin ever looks afraid. And it’s not necessarily out of self-preservation, it’s not like Gin’s going ‘aw fuck I’m screwed’ it’s more of a ‘what have you become?’ sentiment at Aizen. Gin makes commentary about how ‘Aizen snuck that thing into his chest when I wasn’t lookin’, can’t be helped’ and it’s... remorseful, and anxiously spoken -- in Gin-speak -- of course it’s not blatantly said in such a way, but in a throwaway manner of ‘casually not worried about it’ because Gin’ll be damned if he says such a vulnerable thing to Ichigo.

Gin admits to those worries when he’s about to activate Shinso’s poison in Aizen’s heart.

In my post-Winter War canon divergent verses, Gin does have nightmares about Aizen’s deformations, the way he writhed and became so far from what Gin had become so attuned to. This was not the Aizen which Gin had meticulously memorized, learned, since he was a boy. This was not the Aizen he knew, marching through an insignificant town, hunting insignificant kids, wanting to slaughter them and hang their bodies for Ichigo to find? At least with destroying Momo, it could have been argued as necessary to shatter Hitsugaya Toshiro’s heart, render a captain of the Gotei 13 useless or too emotionally charged to properly fight. Which is what happened anyways, but if Aizen had actually ‘sliced her into pieces’ it still would have served a purpose. Aizen was going to destroy Karakura Town anyways, why hunt a few human teenagers to specifically kill only to nuke the town their bodies are hanging in moments later?

Aizen could be a cruel man, yes, but that was wrathful. Gin feared Aizen the moment he began wildly and carelessly throwing his power around, the sweeper, the random passerby whom died when they got too close to him, the Karakura kids... Aizen was becoming the same indifferent and heartless man that he loathed the Soul King for being.

Something they find adorable about your muse:  

You wore fake fucking glasses you fucking nerd lmfao. Lookit me I’m cap’n Aizen I’m not like OTHER captains, I got hipster glasses ‘n messy hair, I am utterly unique! One of a kind!!!

Would my muse sacrifice themselves for yours?:  

I mean, canonly that’s certainly an angle. Gin’s death symbolizes Aizen’s ascension into a higher being, the final step he needed to reach that indescribable power. Without it, Aizen would have died to Ichigo’s Final Getsuga Tenshou, among other things perhaps, etc. etc. ...

Would my muse go on a date with yours?  platonic/romantic:  

Buy me fUCKING dinner. Okay, but I can see Gin humoring outings with the guy, platonic or otherwise no-named endeavors. He’ll coo and bat his eyes; if Aizen wants to play this card, Gin won’t back down. As always, he’ll meet it halfway or more. Oh, y’wanna take me out? I’m glad that you’re finally seein’ the light with how irresistible I am, go on, pamper me. I ain’t easy, though. YOU CAN LOOK BUT NOT TOUCH. Try anythin’ on the first night ‘n I’ll gut ya. <3333

One word my muse would use to describe yours:  

Asshole. Arrogant. Self-Absorbed. Hypocrite. Selfish. Pathetic. Sad. Desolate.

Would my muse slap yours if they could?:

A left hook sounds much more enticing, but sure, Gin can slap too -- unless Aizen’s into that, then Gin’s kicking between the legs at full force.

Would my muse hug/kiss yours?:

Gin’s not the hugging type, but he’ll drape himself onto Aizen’s shoulder or in general invade the man’s personal space  ( oh, I’m sorry, am I makin’ you uncomfortable? )  among other things. Gin’s like a cat, he’ll do as he pleases and seemingly be open to any and all contact when it’s lowkey inconvenient for Aizen at the time, or at least a little distracting. And the moment Aizen wraps his arms around Gin or goes for a kiss when Gin isn’t interested, it’s claws and teeth --

[uraharashouten]

@cptn13​ said:

Speaking of it, now you've made me curious about, say, if Yoruichi never existed, or the friendship was really just a casual one with absolutely no romantic feelings involved, at what point would Urahara seek the presence of someone else? /Would/ he hook up with someone for a night? What would be a reason for him to do it and what does he think of it overall? Or would he be more the type to wait until the right one comes along? (1/?)

Because frankly it's hard for me as well to imagine him going around Karakura at night or whatever, looking for a hookup. Then again, I strongly want to believe that even someone like Urahara has some human needs that he'd like to get satisfied every once in a while. So how would he go about it? Would he feel pressured if his friends hooked him up with someone? Maybe if Tessai and the kids did? (Guess that's all for now)

Ahhhh, dangit, you’re going to force me to write this headcanon now, aren’t you? 😅 I’ve been trying to figure out this man’s sexuality for five years. If it were easier, I’d have done it by now!  But I suppose it’s time I share the conclusions I’ve come to so far.

He has Tessai and the kids to fulfill his needs for domesticity, companionship, even cuddling. If his friends set him up with someone on a date so he could get laid, he’d probably do everything in his power to self-sabotage it.

Oscar Wilde said “Everything in the world is about sex, except sex. Sex is about power,” and I think that’s applicable here. In canon, we see him flirting with opponents, or in front of opponents, in order to keep them off-balance. In private, we don’t really see him flirting much, do we? Flirting really serves the same purpose as humor for him; it’s a shield, a mask, a sort of social armor -- protection against being truly vulnerable.

Because if there’s one thing he struggles with above all else, it’s being vulnerable. He considers and plans for all possibilities so that it’s less likely he’ll be surprised or caught out. And this extends to emotional and sexual vulnerability as well. He does not like to be exposed in that way. To allow someone else to see you in a moment of sexual abandon is to give that person a sort of power over you. Knowledge is power; carnal knowledge is no different. Thus only someone who has demonstrated an a priori ability to see through him would be allowed that sort of access, to see him in a moment where he’s completely unguarded and undone.  And I can count on one hand how many people he’d trust enough to give that degree of access.  And two of them, at least in the shared verse in which this blog participates, are married to each other... (Yes, it’s a running joke on this blog that he’d trust Shinji enough. 😆 Hiyori is too much like a sister to him.)

So... how does he take care of his natural needs? I suppose I’ve come to believe he doesn’t need a partner for that and generally prefers not to have one, if his partner of choice is not emotionally/relationally/practically available. And I mean... I’m not going to spell it out for you, but the man’s an inventor who specializes in making facsimiles of the human body, sooooo there are always ways.

[hirako5hinji]

MODERN AU: My Hikikomori Neighbor is a Host King - VERSE INFO

Name: Hirako Shinji Age: 27  Location: Kabukicho, Tokyo, Japan Occupation: King of Host, also manages several stables of host clubs throughout the entertainment/red light districts. 

Eyes: Dark gold Hair: Blond, fine, jaw length Skin: Fair Body: Lean, lanky, sleek, swimmer’s physique   Scars/Tattoos: N/A Piercing(s): One tongue piercing

Relationship Status: Single Personality: Same as in canon verse, but more of a switch personality as can turn his charms and charisma on and off at the snap of a finger due to the nature of his work Hobbies: work, one pet cat, jazz music

Profile: Current top host in the entire Kabukicho district, immensely popular with an exclusive portfolio of high profile clientele, some of whom includes celebrities, high society socialites and important, high functioning professionals from various fields. Is widely known to lead a glamorous, flashy lifestyle; high street fashion, exotic cologne, expensive sports cars, fine dining and rare wines, etc, and knows exactly what to say and do to make his patrons feel special and have a good time. 

He is compensated very generously for his attentive service and companionship, and even though he does not sell sex, is still the top gross earner amongst his fellow hosts. Very low-profile and fiercely private outside of his work, to the point where not even his neighbors and landlord are aware of his actual identity and what he does, since he comes off as a suspicious shut-in and NEET, which is exactly how he prefers it. 

[sevensav--d-archived]

@shinsoutm​ sent  📝

Send me 📝 to see what plot I’d like to do with our muses.

**Ah jeez so many things literally whatever u want but here’s some ideas that you haven’t already brought up

Nomiko:

**I wanna write that scene we talked about where Nomiko is going through the trauma of having to kill her dad and him breaking his contract for a night to make sure she’s okay.  She convinced herself that it was a dream.  Also him revealling to her eventually that he really was there.

**Speaking of Husk??  Do you?? Want him??  Husk will bully him and threaten him and do all sorts of shit.

**Hitoshi dealing with Nomiko being hurt.  She gets hurt A LOT.  A LOT A LOT.  Either at the hands of Canon, or her dad.  Either in a fight he’s a part of, or just in general.  She gets fucked up a lot.

**I’m a sucker for baby threads tbh so stuff related to that is cool.  Nomiko telling him about being pregnant in pro hero verse, or admitting that she wants to have kids with him... I think it’s the heterosexual in me that finds that shit so sweet. 

**FIGHTING either training or just?? Teaming up and fighting together.  Them defending each other.  ESPECIALLY when they’re younger, gimme out on patrol with their mentors Nomiko/Hitoshi when they both get hurt and their mentors feel terrible about it.

Itoshi:

**His kidnapping stuff- you mentioned it but like?? It’s a part of his storyline that I never really get to write so FUCK I’d love to expand on it and put Hitoshi into that part of the story.  

**Related sort of, but Itoshi taking Hitoshi to his old house that is still in his family’s name.  Itoshi wants to sell it and needs to go there to do that.  But he can’t go alone.  

**Hi Hitoshi can you please comfort Itoshi he’s actually not okay at all.  The stuff above but like, Teen Itoshi and his low self esteem about his body, helping him deal with his various crushes on various people, just... Give him reasons to cling so desperately to Hitoshi.

**Idk if we could do this on tumblr but i want everyone to see hitoshi and itoshi forgetting who’s who and itoshi’s leg ending up taped to the ceiling after a fun cool dude night in their third year.

**Itoshi approaching Hitoshi for brother things.  Asking him to like...  Be his wing man when they go out, or later on being the best man at his wedding, be the kari-oya (godparent) for his kids.

**Itoshi is thirty seconds away from getting a lawyer to free Hitoshi from his contract.

Satsuka: 

**That first meeting would be SO tasty.  Her explaining that she saw footage of his practical exam, and helping him see that the testing system was unfair to him and people with quirks like his.  Her being the first to compliment how clever he is with his techniques to get people to talk before he gets his persona chords. 

**Her giving him a pep talk before the sports festival!! Maybe she shares a story about her own experiences.

**Pester her about Aizawa.

**I’d love for him to like... Be in the know about her mental health problems.  Most of the people at UA don’t really know.  Maybe she reveals things to gain his trust, maybe he finds out by other means.

**Her teaching him to shoot.  And also her getting hurt to protect him!! Please.  My trope... My life blood....

**ID LOVE TO HAVE HER TELL HIM ABOUT SHINJI BEING A THING...

**I’d love to write a thing where she accidentally calls him her son lmao

**Literally though whatever you want I’m down for it all!!!!

[heartbinders]

IMPORTANT HEADCANON DIRECTORY

This is a masterpost of headcanons that are most worth knowing on this blog. Seeing as this is a multimuse, I’ll organize it by series and then by character (with general worldbuilding-type meta under the series name and character-specific meta under the character’s name). This will get updated as the blog is around for longer, and none of it is required reading, but it’s helpful if you want to learn more about my take on a character or world!

Series and muse names link to their respective worldbuilding / headcanon tags, while list items link to specific headcanon posts.

ANIMAL CROSSING

Cammie

Who were Camille and Cammie’s neighbors? ( link goes to Camille’s blog, run by Aaron! )

Why Camofrog is important to Cammie

KID ICARUS

Angels, Flight, and the Mechanics of the Power of Flight

Where do Angels Come From?

Structure of the Underworld

Pit

Pit’s reflection after Dark Pit’s appearance

Justifying Pit knowing about other game universes, without godmodding! ( Plus an aside about divine technology )

KINGDOM HEARTS

Telling Roxas and Ven apart

Sora

Misc Sora body headcanons

Sora's parents

MOTHER

Tazmily after the Dark Dragon

Lucas

Lucas growing up bilingual

Post-game Lucas and tech

Lucas’s relationship with Flint

Lucas, mind-reading, and empathy

Lucas fighting during-game

Lucas’s feelings about being in Smash

NEON GENESIS EVANGELION

The world after End of Evangelion

Shinji

Important people in Shinji’s life / NPCs ( cw: abuse mention, internalized biphobia )

Shinji’s upbringing in the anime and rebuild vs manga ( cw: physical abuse )

Shinji’s scars and body image ( cw: self harm, body image, implied toxic masculinity )

Post-canon Shinji and gender

POKEMON

Trainer cards

Red

Public vs private knowledge about Red

Noctis ( PKMN verse )

Knowledge meme

Prompto ( PKMN verse )

Knowledge meme

SMASH BROS

How Smash works in-universe

How humans can use weapons from the Kid Icarus universe

VOCALOID

Baku / Ren

Important info about Ren’s abilities, general demeanor, and what happens to his victims ( cw: gaslighting )

[bleachintothemultiverse]

Multi, single, or fewship?:   multiship (every ship is in their own verse)

What are you willing to RP when it comes to shipping?:   conflict, platonic shipping, romantic shipping. (literally anything that isn’t smut). I also won’t do Underage ships.

How large does the age gap have to be to make it uncomfortable?:   I mean- shinigami in general are over 100 years old despite looking very young. So honestly- I don’t know?? I never really encounter that?? i guess as long as it isn’t like a human years like- a 18 year old with a 60 years old? or a 40 years old?I guess that would be really weird tbh.

Are you selective when shipping?:  Kinda? I mean some characters are harder to ship with other. but- Like if i am already shipping with a canon character. I won’t ship with a duplicate of that character. that wouldn’t be fair to do in my opinion.

How far do steamy moments have to go before they’re considered NSFW?:  Honestly- when hands start going down to the nether regions- that when i would be considering it starting to be NSFW. 

Does one have to ask to ship with you?:   Gonna be real- im awkward as heck. I will ship literally almost anything. So- if you want to ship with one of the characters. Just ask tbh. Honestly- more then likely- i already ship it.

How often do you like to ship?:   I love to ship- a lot of time.  Im just to awkward to ask to make it a ship. Like- I don’t mean just romantic shipping. But platonic ships as well. Like- just give me pure fluff. But like- i know some ships won’t work out romantically. But it could work out platonically. Like- give me wholesomeness and angsts. Let us explore these sideo f characters?? Like yes??

What is your favorite ship in your current fandom?:  Oh gosh- for bleach...... good question. probably, in terms of canon characters pairings.- Byakuya x Aizen, Tousen x Aizen. (for the most part- I blame CFYOW),  Hiyori x Shinji, Jushiro x Shunsui. But like in terms of Rps. oh gosh. i don’t have one?? tagged by @skyvar (thanks for the tag uwu) tagging @toomanydamnmuses @redeyeschaosdragon @wild-pineapple-butt @hirako5hinji @sphaeraa  @kaibacorpbros (i think you did this already?? im not sure), @rukia-kuchiki-divided @goofyshinigami @bookofaion

[cheshiresense]

in the ura + ichi time travel au kaien was (understandably) concerned that ichigo suddenly started hanging out with kisuke. what would kaien's opinion of ichigo and aizen hanging out be, though? since aizen was a generally well liked person back then and all that. would kaien see aizen as a good influence on ichigo or do you think he would be more reserved about it?

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…I accidentally shoehorned Shinji into this whoops.

Anyway, you mean in the Aizen&Ichigo time travel verse right? Hmm well I know I dropped several hints in SP of Kaien (and a few others) knowing that there was something not-good up with Aizen, but canonically speaking, literally nobody except Shinji ever suspected him, so I think in this verse, I’m going to go with Kaien being one of the many who think that Aizen is just a reliable Shinigami and a generally upstanding guy. He doesn’t hero-worship him like the younger/lower-ranking Shinigami but he respects Aizen as a fellow lieutenant and the Fifth was really lucky to manage nabbing him for their squad.

So here, Kaien couldn’t prevent Ichigo from joining the Twelfth under that Very Suspicious Character Urahara (and he soon learns the impossibility that is trying to prevent Ichigo from doing anything he sets his mind to), so he’s relieved when word gets around that even after graduation, Ichigo still spends time with that Fifth Division lieutenant/part-time teacher because it means he has some regular Good Influence in his life. The Soul King knows Ichigo doesn’t spend much time with anyone else, doesn’t seem to have any close friends from his year in the Academy either or even just squadmates he can grab drinks with, so Kaien’s glad his cousin has at least one person he seems to like enough to hang out with, even if a friendship between a fresh graduate and a lieutenant is rather odd. Aizen doesn’t seem to mind either, which is also a bit of a shock because for all that the man has a reputation for helping students and subordinates alike, Kaien’s never heard of him spending time outside of work and teaching spars and classes with one. And as far as Kaien knows, he doesn’t think Aizen has any friends he hangs out with either. He’s polite and relatively friendly when he speaks to any of his colleagues, but it’s always work work work for that man. Kaien doesn’t know how he does it.

Still, he appreciates the time Aizen is taking out of his schedule these days to meet up with Ichigo for meals. On occasion, they can even be seen walking together back to their respective divisions. It’s odd, but it’s also pretty clear they’re friends, and so of course, when New Year’s swings around, Kaien wastes no time extending an invitation to Aizen as well to attend the Shibas’ annual celebrations.

He’s not surprised when Aizen - politely - turns him down. He seems that kind of guy. So Kaien moves on to Plan B - he goes to Ichigo, expounds on the elaborate festivities that will be taking place at the party, waxes poetic about how disappointed everyone will be if Ichigo can’t come, and then drops an offhand mention of how he’d tried to invite Ichigo’s friend Aizen too just so Ichigo would have someone he knew with him, not to mention Aizen doesn’t seem to have anyone to celebrate with anyway, but the lieutenant had turned him down.

Ichigo is fuming and scowling and looks about two seconds away from depriving the Thirteenth of their lieutenant, and Kaien very carefully does not show his glee as Ichigo shouts, “We’re not friends!”, looking appalled for some reason, before storming off, and Kaien can feel his reiatsu signature heading directly for the Fifth Division compound.

Mission accomplished.

(“And I should attend this function with you because…?” Aizen enquires, raising a delicately skeptical eyebrow.

Ichigo glowers at everything. “Well I’m not going alone. Kaien said they’re gonna be partying all night. I’m not suffering through that on my own!”

“Then turn the invitation down.”

“I can’t do that! Kuukaku apparently already told everyone I’ll be going, and Kaien said the kids are all looking forward to meeting me properly!”

Aizen’s other eyebrow joins his first, and he could not look more judgemental if he tried. “That still does not explain why I have to go. The fact that you are a pushover for small children is entirely your own fault.”

Ichigo reminds himself that he cannot actually reach across the table and strangle the bastard, no matter how much he wants to. He tries changing tactics instead. “Come on, it’s not like you have anything to do anyway-”

“On the contrary, I have a new book I wish to-”

“-and Kaien told me he invited you too so obviously you’ll also be expected to show up, and I’m not gonna quit badgering you about it until you agree!”

Aizen’s brow crinkles ever so slightly at the mention of Kaien. “Hm, well-played,” He murmurs, but before Ichigo can ask what he means, he continues smoothly, “I have already turned him down, so your argument is invalid. No one will be expecting me, and even if they will be, unlike you,” He beams like the super creepy virtuous Shinigami almost everyone thinks he is, which never fails to make Ichigo cringe. “I do not care in the slightest.”

Ichigo twitches before crossing his arms so that he’s less tempted to do something rash. “Well too bad! You still owe me for being evil and stalker-y, so suck it up and pick out a nice outfit because you’re going even if I have to drag you there!”

Aizen sighs long-sufferingly. “Exactly how long do you plan on trying to hold that over my head, Ichigo-kun?”

“Forever,” Ichigo retorts. “Now are you coming or are we gonna throw down over this?”

Aizen levels a flat look on him. Ichigo glares back. The two of them remain in stubborn silence for several minutes, and eventually it’s Ichigo who cracks because Aizen is a heartless monster with unrepentant stalker tendencies.

“Fine,” Ichigo huffs. “How ‘bout I show you a reishi trick I figured out recently?” Something like interest sparks in Aizen’s eyes. So predicable. “I’ve been experimenting. It’s not something I ever saw Yhwach or any of his minions do, or even Ishida or his dad, so it’s probably not something you know. But only if you come with me to the party. I’ll show you afterewards.”

Aizen watches him for a moment longer before a smirk curls at one corner of his mouth. “You’re learning.” Then he sighs, way too dramatically in Ichigo’s opinion. “Very well, but if it is something I already know, then you’ll owe me three months of manual labour in the form of paperwork. Agreed?”

Ichigo makes a face. “What? No way! One month at most.”

“Two.”

“One and one week and no more, asshole. I swear to god I am not above kicking your extortioning ass across Seireitei if you try to up that! Besides, I’m pretty sure you don’t know what I’ll be showing you anyway so it’s a pointless bargain.”

Aizen looks amused now. “Then it should hardly matter.”

Ichigo scowls. “It’s the principle of the matter. Well?”

Aizen inclines his head. “I agree to these terms. What time is this celebration?”

Ichigo grins, triumphant.)

Kaien cackles like a supervillain when he gets - very grudging - confirmation that both Ichigo and Aizen would be attending the New Year celebrations at the Shiba compound.

Fast forward a few weeks and Shinji narrowly avoids spraying tea all over Ukitake when Kaien strides back in to the dining hall and announces his cousin and Aizen Sousuke’s presence, both of whom enter behind the clan head, one with a scowl, the other with a cordial smile. They get seated between Kaien and Kuukaku, across from Shinji, Kyouraku, and Ukitake, and for a moment, Shinji’s gaze meet his lieutenant’s.

“Good evening, Taichou,” Aizen greets him, mild as milk, but even though his expression is perfectly calm, there’s something about it anyway that makes Shinji think he’s probably laughing on the inside.

“Sou-chan, what a surprise,” Shinji sighs and goes about refilling his cup. He needs way more sake than what’s on the table to survive the rest of this night.

They don’t really talk for the rest of the party. They’ve never really had casual conversations before. Even Shinji’s regular teasing when it comes to Aizen is at least partly to try and get a rise out of his frustratingly secretive lieutenant. And as long as Shinji’s known him, Aizen’s never really been one for celebrations. He attends captain/lieutenant functions when it’s required of him, and even then he only stays just long enough that it wouldn’t be rude when he excuses himself. He never goes out for drinks or meals, and he definitely never goes out with anyone just for fun.

Until Shiba Ichigo of course. Shinji still doesn’t know how those two work.

But, he soon realizes, the party is a perfect excuse to subtly observe them in a public setting, and that brightens his mood exponentially.

And what he observes…

It’s… odd, their interactions, which Shinji already knew from glimpses of them at the Fifth. But that was a work setting, and this isn’t, and that apparently makes a lot of difference. Or maybe it’s just that they’ve gotten closer since the last time Shinji saw them.

Even at the more casual captain/lieutenant get-togethers, Shinji recalls, Aizen stayed on the sidelines, in the background. He spoke when spoken to, and he kept any conversation going effortlessly, never dominating and always making the other party feel like he was interested in whatever topic they’d struck up even though Shinji is certain that couldn’t be farther from the truth. But he never really engaged other people of his own volition, and no matter how polite, it always felt - at least to Shinji - that he couldn’t wait to leave and get away from the annoyances that kept him from attending to whatever it was he was doing behind Shinji’s back.

He doesn’t do that here, doesn’t stay on the outside. Or rather, Ichigo won’t let him. When Kaien drags Ichigo into a conversation, Ichigo drags Aizen right along wtih him, and that wouldn’t be so jarring, but then some of the younger Shiba children shyly sidle up and ask to play tag with their newest cousin, and Ichigo folds like wet paper and agrees, but he also invites Aizen, who protests and is promptly ignored, and Shinji is treated to the mind-boggling sight of Aizen awkwardly - as awkward as Shinji’s ever seen him - playing tag with a bunch of children.

Surely he’s woken up in a parallel universe without realizing earlier?

Then there’s the fireworks display, and Ichigo drags Aizen off to show him how to set off a bunch of them. There’s desserts passed around, and Ichigo looks positively mournful when he’s too slow to get any of the kagami mochi before they’re all gone. Shinji almost chokes on his own taiyaki when Aizen visibly smirks at Ichigo, even taunting the kid with his own dessert, but after a round of mocking and scowl-pouting, the man also sighs before shoving his own plate of mochi at Ichigo and snags Ichigo’s leftover dango instead. Ichigo immediately brightens, and although his scowl never leaves his face, he somehow looks years younger with how ridiculously happy he is about a simple dessert.

And when even Aizen looks like he can’t take anymore socializing after the twelfth time someone accosts him for chitchat, Ichigo whisks him off somewhere, and Shinji doesn’t see them again until he catches their silhouettes on the roof as the night sky lights up with Kuukaku’s personal fireworks finale.

It’s… odd. Shinji can’t really find any other word for it, and by the time he takes his leave, the interactions he’s seen weigh on him more than he’s comfortable with.

These days, it feels like the Aizen Sousuke he’s always known was a completely different man from this one. Then of course, when he’s not interacting with Ichigo, he’s exactly like the man Shinji’s always known - polite and friendly and so utterly fake that it makes Shinji wonder if his colleagues are all brain-dead for not noticing.

Aizen looks at the world like he’s above it all, or maybe like he’s simply indifferent to everything, Shinigami and the Gotei and Soul Society alike.

But he looks at Ichigo like he’s actually seeing a person, and that perhaps is the biggest reason why Shinji cannot reconcile the two versions of his lieutenant.

He’s never known Aizen Sousuke to care about anyone. And Shinji’s not certain what to do about it now that he does.

Unbeknownst to Shinji, Kaien observes them too, and unlike Shinji, he likes what he sees. It’s odd, yes - Shinigami fresh out of school and even just lower-ranked ones in general simply don’t interact with their higher-ups in so familiar a manner. But Ichigo’s always been odd all on his own, and they’re not even part of the same division so nobody can call favouritism anyway, and so long as Ichigo’s fine with it, that’s all Kaien cares about.

He sees everything Shinji does tonight, and it lifts a weight from his shoulders. He’d been worried about his long-lost cousin, uncomfortable amongst family, and too strong to make friends easily at the Academy. Depending on Urahara to look out for his newest subordinate is laughable at best, and Kaien knows better than anyone that Shibas aren’t meant to be isolated. Ichigo’s introverted and a private person in general, but he’s not so different when it comes down to it. At the very least, he doesn’t seem as stressed compared to the first several months he first came into Kaien’s life, and Kaien doesn’t think he’s wrong when he contributes part of that to the Fifth Division lieutenant.

And Aizen too… well, it’s harder to tell with him. But he treats Ichigo like a friend, occasionally indulgent in a way that’s actually not unlike the way Kaien would treat a younger sibling himself, and that’s something Kaien’s never seen Aizen do with anyone else. Sure, he indulges students when they want his attention, and lower-ranked Shinigami when they want his advice, but there’s always a line in the sand with them, one he never toes. He makes himself approachable and likeable with them, and half of them go away nursing crushes.

He’s not like that with Ichigo. He doesn’t make himself anything, as far as Kaien can see. No gentle smiles anywhere. Mostly just smirks that borderline nasty, but flashes of exasperated fondness too. He’s just himself, and Ichigo takes it in stride, and maybe that’s why they’re friends.

It’s odd. But Kaien can’t complain when Ichigo’s happier these days, and he makes a mental note himself to catch Aizen later and tell him he’s welcome back to the Shiba compound anytime.

[obliterus]

OC / SHION’S CLASSMATE

So I’m going to talk about another OC who is also beloved to me, who starts out as Shion’s classmate. He was literally born out of one giant meme @galaxythixf and I came up with when we were chatting about Shion and Neito’s future verse, so literally, two more OC’s were born out of this, I’m going to talk about mine. 

Now of course to start, he’s in the General Studies course at UA in 1-C alongside Shion in Shion’s canon verse. However, he’s only in the GS course because he actually threw the Hero portion of the examination upon seeking entrance to UA. This was a spiteful slap in his father’s face, and he had good reason to do so, which I’ll explain about.

Some general information about him, his name is Miyawaki Ryou and he is the only son of Miyawaki Shinji and Miyawaki (Inaba) Izumi. He is the direct result of a full-blown quirk marriage. This is a concept I wanted to explore more in-depth, so here we are folks. Shinji’s quirk is called Inanimation, which grants him the ability to immobilize objects with his mind. Anything that’s coming at him, he’s able to immobilize and render it useless for a certain period of time. This cannot be used at extremely long range at all, and if he can’t see or hear the object or person, he cannot use his quirk. Shinji is a Pro Hero stationed in Shinagawa but is from Fukuoka.

Izumi’s quirk is called Gravity Bind, which grants her the ability to bind objects or people to any surface ONLY after touching them. (This is very similar to resembling a reverse Ochako quirk.) Gravity Bind is a quirk that’s also passed down from generation to generation by manifesting in the person’s eyes. A child of the Inaba family born with stormy grey eyes will manifest Gravity Bind. I like giving extreme physical traits to quirks, so once again, here I am having the wielder having a portion of it within their eyes. 

Izumi was born in Fukuoka and moved up to Shinagawa when Shinji got his stationed swapped up north. The two met in middle school, started dating in high school and went on to get married at Shinji’s wishes alongside his parent’s wishes. Izumi fell in love with Shinji along the way, while Shinji’s true intention was to seek an heir with power. His view of the Hero world is very narrow, and he believes in the notion that those who are Heroes should be seeking out ultimate power to stay on top, it’s not necessarily about helping people to him. Izumi greatly disagreed with this philosophy and often tried to talk him out of it, to which he’d always remind her that her job was to produce a satisfying heir, not to lecture him. To be fair, Shinji was raised this way, he knows no other way of living, nor thinking. It’s been conditioned in him since he was a child. 

Ryou was born several years later (on October 31st, he’s a Halloween baby AND a Scorpio), with the same dark hair as his mother and her stormy grey eyes. Shinji was slightly disappointed that it seemed to be the Gravity Bind quirk only that he inherited until it manifested at age six. He was an extremely late bloomer with his quirk. Ryou’s version of Gravity Bind differs from his mother’s because Ryou doesn’t need his hands to touch anything he seeks to bind. He can pull objects or people towards him and bind them to a surface through the usage of his mind. So Ryou gained a combination of his mother and father’s quirks, but like his father, Ryou has to be able to see what it is he has to draw and bind. His pull gets weaker if it’s extreme long distance, and if his eyes are closed or he’s temporarily blinded, he cannot use his quirk. 

From knowing the extent of Ryou’s quirk, Shinji took to raising him for the next four years to try and condition him to believe that he was the source of great power and that he had to stay on top no matter what. There was never any room for arguing, and as much as Izumi tried to shield her son from this way of thought, Shinji would often snap at her and tell her not to get in the way, that this was important. At age ten, Shinji left both Ryou and his mother, seeking to continue to groom more children to become powerful heir’s of his, but jokes on you Shinji: He never produced a more powerful child. Ryou, his eldest, was the only one to gain a combination of both. Though, Ryou does have half-siblings out there. 

As a result of the harsh beginnings of his childhood, Ryou has an explosive personality. He’s irrational, reckless, a real smart ass, and very hot-tempered. Yet, he loves his mother so much and sworn to protect her, while raising the middle finger to his father in the process. Ryou is extremely bitter, and every emotion he feels is often at its extremist. The idea of becoming a Hero worthy of the title is so far from his mind, based on his father’s teachings, that it often seems laughable to him. He throws the Hero exam, which probably would make several people angry if they found out that he did so, to land him a seat in the General Studies course because he’d rather be in there than to bother with a Hero course. (Another huge middle finger to his dad, who despite leaving he and his mother, has been watching him from afar as well.) He ends up in 1-C alongside Shion. He’s content shoving himself in the background for a while.

Yet his ideologies start to change when he meets more people, spends some time around Shion, and of course being around the person he loves the most, Kiyomizu Hayato (he’s in 1-D) who he met in middle school. Ryou develops a passion to protect him and his mother at the most, and to re-write what a Hero is to himself and his family name. He does get a second shot at taking the Hero exam and is slated to join the Hero course in 2-B the following year alongside Shinsou. Neito and him clash like nobody’s business, Neito’s endearing nickname for him is ‘Makeinu’ which is basically a stupid dog. Yet don’t be fooled. Ryou can be draft, but he’s an extremely hard worker and will keep getting up even when he’s at his limit. 

His Hero name is Horizon, and he takes his name from an Event Horizon. It’s defined as the ‘point of no return’, and the pull of an object is so great it makes escaping impossible. This is alluding towards his quirk. That once Ryou has a clear hold on an object or a person and pulls them or it towards him, it’s utterly almost impossible to escape. He is the point of no return. Therefore, shorting Event Horizon to just ‘Horizon’ was perfect, and fitting for him. A part of his Hero design is the usage of mirrors, so if Ryou cannot see you, he can use a mirror to see your reflection and meet your eyes through it to still use his quirk on you. This bastard can be sneaky and will pull out all the ropes when going onto the front lines in Hero training or out in the field later on. 

Drawbacks of using his quirk are: Intense migraines. Ryou gets migraines when he uses his quirk too much, and they are fierce. They cause extreme nausea and vomiting when overuse is at its peak. If his focus is interrupted, Ryou’s hold on the object or person can be broken and therefore released. 

More info to come, but I’ve been meaning to write about him, so here he is. You do not know how tempted I am to make Izumi a relative of the Uraraka clan, just based off her quirk. 

[madeimpact]

10, 26 for the munday meme??

Shh pretend it's still munday || @beinfriends

Gonna answer 10 under a cut because it talks about some of the, uh...more difficult subject matter in End of Evangelion

∗ 26﹕ who  was  your  very  first  muse ?  would  you  consider  writing  them  now ?

I answered this already, but just to humor the question, I'll refer back to my other answer last time this question came around the blog. Old Vocaloid self insert that predates tumblr.

Hm...I dunno if I'd consider writing her as she last was before she kinda retreated into the recesses of my brain. I'd probably end up completely reworking her into her own OC ( she was already sort of evolving into her own character in her later stages anyway ).

∗ 10﹕ is  there  a  piece  of  your  character’s  canon  that  you  refuse  to  accept ?

I've talked at length before about how I feel about the infamous hospital scene in End of Evangelion. EoE Shinji is just overall a very different, more vitriolic character compared to what we see in the anime. I'll go ahead and link this meta I reblogged a while back because I basically directly quote it whenever I'm asked about this, they were able to put the vague feelings I had into words way better than I ever could LMAOSDHKDFJLG

I don't really outright say it didn't happen, but rather I try to figure a mental process that's a little more in line with the anime that would result in...yanno...that. I just feel like it's a little bit more of a challenge to do it that way you feel? Writing it out entirely feels like the easy, "it's problematic therefore it doesn't exist" solution, which really doesn't work for what Eva tries to be. In the past I've explained it as a lapse in judgement that not even Shinji knows how to explain ( not the most satisfying or in-depth, I know, but this is something I've been struggling with for years ). With him strangling Asuka on the beach, I've written it as some combination of him acting on pent up rage about how Asuka treated him, plus him needing to know he exists in the physical world again, therefore being able to touch someone. Mind you — holding up a big flashing neon sign here so no one gets it twisted — that's not to say any of this is justified behavior. It's not. EoE Shinji does fucked up shit, there's no two ways about it. I've just...tried getting into Anno's head about the whole thing, I guess. I've tried to think whether there's a universe in which this stuff happens. And of course, I'd NEVER actually write this shit out in RP. Not the time or place.

I just...I have a lot of complicated feelings about End of Eva. I don't actively dislike it as a film overall — it has some good things that can connect back to the anime, like "anywhere can be heaven as long as you have the will to live" and Shinji's ultimate rejection of Instrumentality. But it's hard to reconcile several elements of it with the ending of the anime ( which I prioritize over EoE as the conclusion to anime Shinji's character arc ), even though I've tried over the years. Maybe it's just my weird reluctance to just outright change shit about canon, idk.

If anything, I guess my answer to all of this is my post-EoE verse where things start to rebuild and look up for the cast. It's something I like about the manga and rebuild — they're a little more unambiguously optimistic, which I think ultimately does Eva's message of self-love and self-improvement better service. Post-EoE Shinji is generally in a better place mentally and regrets his actions in EoE. He chose a world of individuality, which means he needs to take ownership of those actions and do better.