#❅ [ Chloe Carmichael ] it feels GOOD to be HELPING.

[gale-gentlepenguin]

Gale’s Top 10: Most Hated characters

Rules:

1. To make this interesting, I’m going to be picking characters that aren’t intended by the writers to be hated (annoying maybe, but not hated). So Villains aren’t going to be on this list since most are often supposed to be hated.

2. I will be covering Anime, manga, cartoons, and comics

3. Only content I’ve heard of (and at least somewhat have exposure to)

4. This is a VERY personal list. And If you happen to like a character I list. If it’s below the top 5, that’s fine. But if it’s above the top 5, please seek professional help.

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10. Z from All Grown Up!

This is supposed to be a 10 year old kid. I kid you not.

When he was first introduced, I did figure it was the simple don’t judge a book by its cover story. And yea it was mid back then. But I remember watching more episodes and realizing. Z is actually really f***ing boring and the episode about not judging would have worked if they were all 14 or 15, but Z is 10! They are all 9 to 11 years old! This show was so dumb! What parent lets their kid dye their hair and get piercings at 10?! How would he even know what punk is?

I think my main problem with Z is really the fact that it shows how he doesn’t really fit in a story of 10 year olds. Which was one of the big problems with All grown up! As a show. And personally I hate being reminded of why it fails so much as I did enjoy it as a kid.

Though out of all the characters on this list. He at least isn’t a jerk.

The other reason was I am a Tommy and Kimi supporter so…. Yea. That too.

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9. Ronaldo- Steven Universe

Now I know he’s supposed to be annoying. But that’s not my problem with him. His obsession with keeping beach city weird is fine. It’s the entitlement he has.

Not the conspiracy theories, it’s him trying to insert himself into it, trying to be the main character. And it’s always causing trouble for Steven. But I really think what does it is just how selfish he is about it. He never learns, starts to consider other people’s feelings. For Steven Universe, a show that gives pretty much everyone a redemption arc, Ronaldo basically goes “nah I’m good as is.” That’s what really grinds my gears about it.

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8. Chloe Carmichael from Fairly Oddparents

Now I should stress that before her introduction. The show was already on a decline with the introduction of Poof, Foop, Sparky.

But Chloe, oh she was a different breed of ruining the show. She made it unwatchable. Like people often complain about Mary Sue characters. CHLOE is a 100% grade A Mary Sue.

She just shows up, gets partial custody of the fairies, everyone likes her, but she somehow a bit miserable so she gets to have faries? Chester is WAY more deserving.

But seriously everything around her seemed to bend to her will. And it was so bad I think they canceled the show midway through the season.

But the reason she is so low is because she was simply the last straw on the shows decline and not the root cause. And I hardly watched the season she was in to care enough.

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7. Hiruzan Sarutobi - Naruto Shippuden

Now for those of you who watched only the first part of Naruto you are probably VERY confused on why this old man is on the list.

For those of you who have watched part 2. You know EXACTLY why he is on this list.

This man’s inability to stop ANY of the awful crap that resulted in the events of the story.

-He let the Uchiha extermination happen

-He let Danzo basically do whatever he wanted

-He didn’t stop Orochimaru who ended up attacking his village years later (and resulting in his death)

-Never told Naruto about his parents, and Litterally just gave the orphan money and dipped out.

-Didn’t stop the village from ostracizing Naruto

And the list goes on.

Like for some things, I get. The uchiha were planning a Coup and it could have gotten ugly but for f***s sake he could have done a better job in negotiations! Also why would he ever trust Danzo?

The rest is on him. Konohamaru is better off having Naruto as his mentor than that old bastard.

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6. Chris Thorndike - Sonic X

I hate this f***ing kid so much.

Oh people complain that Amy is so focused on sonic. Nah man, this kid only ever thought about sonic. This kid even tried trapping Sonic in his world because he didn’t want to say goodbye.

“But he’s lonely without his parents.”

WTF you talking about. His parents see him pretty often despite their careers and both clearly love him. He also has a maid and butler that both watch over and care for him. Not to mention uncle Chuck that is watching over him. Plus he has a group of friends his own age (all of which are more interesting characters than him).

I can’t even begin to describe how much of a jerk he can be. I will say the only reason he isn’t higher is because Chris actually TRIES to be useful in the matarex arc.

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5. Velma Dinkley - Velma

Or should I say Mindy kaling wearing Velma like a skin suit.

I hate when people turn beloved characters into self inserts and this entire show was this. Now I could go on about how they ruin Velma’s character. But this, this isn’t Velma. This isn’t even Scooby doo. It’s just using its name. And that’s all I can say. I’ve only watched enough clips to justify putting this on the list. This character and the show are both awful, so at least she isn’t ruining the show. And she does die, so at least there is some satisfaction. Which is why she is only this low on the list.

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4. Jared Shapiro - Powerpuff girls 2016

I don’t care what the interviews say. No one can convince me this kid isn’t a self insert of one of the writers.

An out of nowhere love interest for the main character.

While not as bad as the case of Velma, this one is much more personal having grown up with the OG powerpuff girls. So this makes me want to gag.

He’s such a bland and weird character. It’s just so creepy. I can’t even begin to describe how creeped out this character makes me feel. It does not feel like him and blossom are the same age either. It just ain’t right.

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3. Caillou from Caillou

I happen to like kids. Kids are creative and fun little gremlins. But whenever I see Caillou, the visceral urge to punt this child is intense.

He is the WORST child character in all of fiction. If the show never existed I’m 100% sure the world would be a better place.

He is a brat that NEVER learns. He says he does but he doesn’t. He is always the exact same little turd he’s always been. The only redeeming quality about that show is that the theme can be remixed into a bop.

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2. Paul Jeremiah Rabin from Amazing Spider-man

This man is probably the most hated man in all of spider-man comics.

Zeb Wells really s*** the bed so hard when he created this guy. Making a character that basically kidnapped Mary Jane, gave her super powers, made her get into a relationship with him, and basically ruined Spider-Man’s personal life.

You want to know how bad you messed up when in the issues where spiderman was possessed by the green goblin’s evil and he wanted to kill Paul, PEOPLE WERE CHEERING.

I do not think exists a single person that Likes Paul as a character. It’s actually kind of amazing.

But he is only number 2, because the ultimate spider man run is helping us forget the TRAVESTY that is Paul.

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1. Dave from Total Drama Pahkitew Island

He was the worst part of the worst season of total drama.

He started off as a whiny less then fun version of Noah and ended up as a clingy, psychotic toad that deserved to get ripped apart by bears.

Now with previous entrees I can kind of understand if there is someone that could like the character. Maybe…

But Dave?

If you actually like Dave and the person he became, we can not be friends. I would recommend a psych evaluation.

The boy is vindictive, controlling, condescending, and overall PATHETIC! And his label was Normal. The normal boy?! Nothing about that ‘Nice guy tm’ is normal. He was a piece of garbage.

Every action he takes is in his own self interest and I don’t see a SINGLE redeeming quality about him.

We are supposed to Want him to get together with Sky?

Him dating the Communal toilet would be a disservice to the toilet.

And that’s all I got to say on that matter.

[plotandburn]

Harry Potter Gets Adopted By

Rules:

No reader-inserts, self-inserts or unhappy endings are allowed.

spanking, watersports, extremely underage ships or parent/child incest are only allowed if portrayed on a negative light.

Peter Petigrew and Dolores Umbridge must be bashed

Dumbledore must be gay and atracted to Grindewalt and Grindewalt alone.

poor grammar is not allowed (you don't need a beta but at least use grammarly some form of grammar corrector)

You are not allowed to bash Severus Snape, Sirius Black,Draco Malfoy or Remus Lupin.

In the prompts set on Timmy's Era, Timmy himself can't be praired with: Tottie, Chloe Carmichael, Geraldine Waxelplax or His Parents.

Out of Timmy Turner's Peers, Only Trixie Tang is allowed to,should the writer chose, be a wixen,everyone else has to remain a muggle...and yes that includes Timmy himself.

Timmy's Secret Wish! is garbage and therefore should be compleatly ignored in each and every single prompt on this list. Same applies to the Grow Up Timmy Turner movies

Like a good portion of the fandom, i hate Sparky the dog so the writer of these prompts must pretend that Sparky never even existed to begin with and thus any epiosdes centered on him must be disconsidered entirely.

However episodes where he is featured as a side character can be included,just replace him with Poof

While Chloe Carmichael is allowed to exist and live in dimsdale she is not allowed to have fairies. On these prompts we are going under the rule that "Fairies only grant wishes to miserable people of the dominant species of Earth whose misery was caused by circunstances outside of their control. If the godchild for whatever reason becomes cheerful or the godkid says, "I'm happy and don't need my godparents anymore," the fairies will leave them and search for another miserable kid"...meaning that : No Chloe you can't get fairy odd parents because you stupidly chose to help a monster and that caused you misery for...like a day.

Hagrid can only be paired with Madame Maxine and no one else

Mad Eye Moody and Amelia Bones can't be paired with anyone

Minerva Mcgonagal can only be paired with Poppy Pomfrey or anyone on the staff that she never taugh herself.

Crabbe and Goyle can only be paired with Astoria Greengrass, Daphne Greengrass,Milicent, Susan Bones, Hannah Abbot, eachother or an Oc.

Cosmo/Wanda must be endgame.....Anti-Cosmo/AntiWanda however must NOT.

Da Rules must be followed.

New Rules that must be added later:

Rules 1 ("When a godkid reveals whose fairies theirs secretly are, they and any other witnesses shall have their memories wiped by Jorgen and his agents (who can sometimes make the godchild horribly disfigured) and their fairies and magical items they have come in contact will be taken away by Jorgen. However, if Jorgen doesn't find out, he can't take the godkid’s fairies away or if the witnesses understand how much the fairies means to the godchild then said child can keep them under conditions that the witnesses have their memories erased.") and 27 ("When you has reached the age of no longer needing a fairy or when they are completely grown-up personality-wise, they will have their mind erased of all memories involving their fairy/fairies, the fairy/fairies will leave either in the Fairy Cab or with Jorgen Von Strangle and everything magic will disappear forever.") do not aplly to wixens as the fairy's method of memory erasure is not effective against wixens and....even if it where every single wixen can see and hear fairies even when they are disguised.

Now...onto the prompts. These will be divided into "Timmy's Era", "There's no way this is not Crack", "In Between eras" and Tammy & Tommy's Era".

so....Lets Go:

1.

so.....aparently fanon decided to name them Nataliya Turner & Daran Turner so if you ever want a name for them feel free to use those. Anyway, in this instance Harry would basically be Timmy's brother wich means that they would not only share parents but also fairy godparents and...you guessed Vicky! so while Mrs and Mr Turner would treat them with love on the few ocasions in wich they are present they would also be absent more often than not. Uh....this Harry could fit into basically any house and date anyone,much like Timmy so... the sky is the limt.

2.

.like in the first prompt Harry would have to face Vicky...only now he would face her pretty much 24/7 only being free from her in the brief moments were she leaves to babysit/tourment other kids so....Cosmo & Wanda would not be his fairies,'cause they would belong to Timmy at this point but he should probably get someone else.....or not,choice is up to you. This harry would definetly be a griffyndor 'cause he would resent his parents for being so coward. Pretty sure he wouldn't favor readheads 'cause they would remind him of Vicky.

3.

Harry would basically be Remmy's brother wich means he would share Juandissimo and the extreme emotional neglect so...he probably be starved for affection of any kind and cling to Remy and any friends that he makes. This Harry would probably be a huflepuff and as for ship...pretty much anyone besides Percy, Severitus and Hermione is ok.

4.

This Harry would have everything he could ever ask for and a best friend for life in the form of his own sister Trixie who would use his status as a boy to make her dad buy a shit ton of boy stuff like comics wich they would then share, with Harry hiding everything in his room. Harry would be pretty happy overall but he would often wish that their dad never forced them to uphold the image of distant popular kids (and yeah...pretty sure it's their parents 'cause Trixie definetly dosen't pay the securty guard herself). He would be pretty sympathetic of Timmy and even act friendly towards him on ocassions where they do talk. This Harry would probably be either a Gryffindor or a Sytherin and i think he would be better suited for a slytherin due to his upbringing.

5.

Harry would basically be Aj's brother, thus he would basically HAVE to be science Genious in order to fit in...or you could go a different route and have him be an art genious instead...but he'd have to be a genious of some kind. This Harry would probably fit in Ravenclaw or Slytherin. Recomended ships: Hermione, Percy, Neville or Luna

6.

This Harry is Chester's brother and would probably bond with the Weasley's more than anyone else,due to their similar upbringing. I think it would be funny if... Despite being a Mcbadbat he was actually awesome at baseball. He would probably be Slytherin or a gryffindor. As for ships, the sky is the limt.

7.

Ok so...they basically either raise Harry in the Anti-Fairy world to be their godson or turn him into an Anti-Fairy so that he can be their son by blood (choice is up to you). Regardless of your choice though, Harry would probably end up as a goth...and probably a bookworm due to Anti-Cosmo's influence. He would be much less of a goody goody, taking active joy in watching his parents (whom he would view as such regardless of your choice) cause bad luck on friday 13th.I'd imagine he would be more drawn towards Percy, Hermione, The Weasley Twins or any slytherin that is not Crabbe or Goyle and his house would be either slytherin or ravenclaw.

There's No Way that's not Crack:

1.

Harry would be the og Cleft the Boy Chin Wonder but he would be SUPER tired of constantly fighting crime, thus would basically jump for joy whenever Timmy Turner takes his place with Cosmo and Wanda turning him into Timmy and sending him into the real world to fool Timmy's parents wich would become harder once he gets his Hogwarts letter at 11 and has to leave USA for several months . He would be unaware that he lives in a comic book untill Timmy mentions the comic's writer to his dad and one of their arch nemesis. This Harry would definetly be either a Huflepuff or a Ravenclaw and as for shipping....i think anyone who dosen't view him as an idol or a soldir.

2.

This Harry would be SO embarassed of his dad....Like....for real....You think Chester Mcbadbat is embarassed of his dad? well that is nothing compared to what Harry James West fells. He wishes he could die everytime is dad does cat stuf in plublic and it forced him to basically grow up super fast in order to be his dad's owner (in a non sexual way ofc) meaning he is the one to give him food in a bowl and clean his shit from the sandbox. He basically hates his life so when the hogwarts letter comes he jumps for joy, trilled with the chance to get away but he does spend christmas with his dad 'cause he still misses him despite everything. Still he is as trilled as his canon self when presented with the oportunity to live with Sirius....speaking of Sirius, whoever picks this prompt must be a masterat writing comedy/humor cause They MUST provide me (and the other readers) with funny interactions between Wolfstar (together or not) and Catman/Adam West where the latter is irrationally frightened of the former two for being a dog animagus(Sirius) & a werewolf(Remus). This harry would definetly be a slytherin and would not date cat owners,cat people or cat animagus because he has had enough of cats in his life.

In Between Eras:

Ok so...the reason why this is "in between Eras" is because this prompt, like the one's that follow would happen in the movies timeline meaning it would be set in the 200's rather than in the 90's like Hp actually is. Harry would be a baby during the envents of Foop, only going to Hogwarts during Tammy & Tommy's era. being the son of who he is Harry James Skylark would have an amazing singing voice & dance skills wich would probably be what atracts his romatic interest to him. He would probably be Gryffindor or a Ravenclaw and as for shipping....i think anyone who dosen't view him as an idol for the get go.

Tammy and Tommy's Era:

1.

this prompt in particular is what inspired this whole list and it was created based on the pixies last line on the following episode:

So in this pompt Harry is adopted by the pixies who raise him...pretty much the same way they raised Flappy Bob meaning Harry is...basically raised to be a brilliant executive who legit thinks desk job is fun. This Harry would probably be a Slytherin or Ravenclaw and....TBH out of everyone i think he would be most Drawn to the Weasley Twins, who would hate his parents instantly for how they raised him and show him new ways to have fun.

2.

This would be the only instance where Harry would still go by his birth name for no reason other than the fact that, while he would very much view Cosmo & Wanda as his parents and they would with time view him as a son, he would still be raised at the Dursley's. Cosmo and Wanda would be assigned to him as soon as Albus Dumbledore leaves him on their doorstep and they would be the one's who actually provide Harry with the love and care that he needs. This Harry would be no different than canon Harry so...the sky is the limit on both houses and shipping.

[ronaldanthony4]

I just completed another digital art piece—a fan art of Chloe Carmichael from "The Fairly OddParents." The thrill of bringing her character to life in my style filled me with an odd mix of joy and pride. If there’s one thing I love about creating fan art, it’s the chance to express my interpretation of a beloved character while staying true to their core traits and essence. Chloe Carmichael, a new addition to the main cast in Season 10, is Timmy Turner’s neighbour and one of his few genuine friends. She’s a whirlwind of energy, ambition, and optimism, and I felt excited and challenged to capture her bubbly personality in this artwork.

In my piece, Chloe stands amidst a vibrant, blossoming meadow, arms spread wide as if she’s about to pull the entire world into a big, enthusiastic hug. Her blue eyes, big and bright, radiate that characteristic spark of hers—a mix of enthusiasm and determination that, once noticed, is impossible to ignore. Her hair, a cascade of golden blonde, flows down her back, capturing a bit of sunshine in every strand. I added a purple bow to her hair, which perfectly complements her cheerful demeanour and makes her seem playful and stylish.

Chloe’s outfit in this artwork mirrors her zest for life. She’s dressed in a yellow sleeveless top with white trim at the hem, a colour that practically screams “sunshine.” Paired with black leggings and purple sandals, her look is simple yet effective, capturing her childlike spirit while giving her an air of practicality. I’ve always admired characters who can look both adorable and functional. This balance makes Chloe relatable like she could be any of the kids you see running around the playground. But her outfit wouldn’t be complete without her signature purple bow and, of course, that little gap in her teeth that peeks out when she smiles. It's such a small detail, but somehow it makes her character feel even more genuine.

Chloe is such a fascinating character to draw, not just because of her outward appearance but because of everything she stands for. Born on the same day as Timmy, she’s his unlikely counterpart in so many ways. While Timmy often wishes for things purely for himself, Chloe’s wishes are, more often than not, to help others. I remember watching an episode where she wished for resources to protect endangered animals and another where she wished to reduce pollution. Her good intentions sometimes get her into trouble, but her heart is always in the right place. I admire her dedication to making the world a better place, and in my artwork, I tried to capture that spark of idealism and hopefulness in her eyes and the openness of her posture.

Chloe’s character is full of quirks that make her both endearing and relatable. She’s an over-achiever with a boundless “can-do” attitude and an unwavering optimism. Even though life doesn’t always reward her good intentions, Chloe pushes forward, determined to help others, no matter the cost to herself. This drive to do good can sometimes lead her into chaotic situations, but she keeps going, unfazed by the challenges. In many ways, she embodies that childlike spirit of resilience, where even if the world knocks you down, you get up, dust yourself off, and try again. Capturing this aspect of her personality was important to me, so I posed her with open arms, almost as if she was inviting the viewer to share in her enthusiasm.

Her high-energy nature is both a strength and a weakness. While her determination and optimism are commendable, they can also be overwhelming, both for her and the people around her. Timmy, for example, initially found her overbearing. He was used to having Cosmo and Wanda, his Fairy Godparents, all to himself, and Chloe’s presence felt like an intrusion. Not only did she suddenly share his Fairy Godparents due to a shortage in the fairy world, but her constant drive to do good also made Timmy look like a slacker in comparison. I remember watching an episode where he grew frustrated with her relentless optimism, feeling as though he was forever being outshined. Yet, despite their differences, Chloe and Timmy eventually found common ground. Their friendship developed slowly, built on mutual understanding and acceptance, and eventually, they became each other’s only real friend.

To me, this relationship between Chloe and Timmy is one of the most compelling aspects of her character. Chloe may be an over-achiever, but that same drive isolates her from her peers. Her high standards and refusal to compromise sometimes make it hard for other kids to relate to her, leaving her lonely despite her many accomplishments. In one episode, Timmy learns that her goody-two-shoes personality leaves her without friends, and that’s when he softens towards her. It’s a touching moment because it shows that underneath all her enthusiasm, Chloe is still just a kid wanting acceptance and friendship. I wanted my artwork to reflect this, so I gave her a joyful expression as if she’s finally found a friend who accepts her quirks and all.

Another side of Chloe that I find intriguing is her vulnerability. Despite her energetic, go-getter attitude, she’s prone to extreme emotions and, at times, bouts of mania. Her determination can swing to obsession, as seen on her birthday each year when she becomes hyper-focused on being the centre of attention. Normally, Chloe is all about helping others and spreading positivity, but on this one day, she lets her desires come first. I can’t help but find this relatable; everyone has that one day where they want to feel special and acknowledged. In my artwork, I hinted at this trait through her wide, almost manic grin, a subtle reminder of how even the kindest hearts can crave a moment of personal glory.

Chloe’s high energy and strong moral compass often lead her to clash with Timmy. They argue, they compete, and sometimes, they hurt each other’s feelings. One episode that stands out to me is “Birthday Battle,” where they both throw competing birthday parties, each trying to outdo the other. It’s such a classic kid thing to do, this needs to be “the best,” and it reminds me of the friendships I had growing up. I wanted this artwork to capture that competitive yet affectionate bond they share. Even though she and Timmy argue, there’s a deep respect and understanding between them. Chloe cares for Timmy deeply, and Timmy, in turn, has come to appreciate her loyalty and kindness, despite how irritating her perfectionism can be at times.

One of Chloe’s biggest challenges is her struggle to say no. She’s such a people-pleaser that even when something doesn’t benefit her, she’ll go along with it just to keep others happy. There’s a scene in “Whittle Me This” where she can’t bring herself to tell Catman, an eccentric hero, that she’s not his former sidekick. Her unwillingness to disappoint him almost ends in disaster, with her Fairy Godparents nearly getting captured by Mr. Crocker. This moment, like so many others, illustrates how her kind-heartedness can sometimes lead her into tricky situations. It’s a double-edged sword, this relentless positivity and desire to help, and it’s what makes her character so interesting. In my fan art, I wanted to hint at this characteristic by giving her an open and inviting posture, as if she’s saying, “I’m here to help, no matter what!”

Chloe’s favourite show, "The Fair Bears," is a perfect fit for her personality. The show’s message about being fair and kind to others resonates deeply with her values. Watching her enthusiasm for The Fair Bears in the show always makes me smile because it’s such a genuine reflection of her character. Chloe doesn’t just talk about kindness; she lives it, sometimes to her detriment. Her compassion is so strong that she even embraces Timmy’s quirks and flaws, accepting him as her friend despite his many mistakes and selfish tendencies. For this reason, I wanted the background of my artwork to be a vibrant, blooming garden, symbolising Chloe’s love for all living things and her nurturing spirit.

In the end, Chloe is a character of contrasts. She’s bubbly yet vulnerable, strong-willed yet overly accommodating, and kind-hearted yet prone to obsession. In my fan art, I hoped to capture all these facets of her personality—the joy, the optimism, the intensity, and the hint of loneliness that lies beneath her cheerful exterior. Fan art isn’t just about recreating a character’s appearance; it’s about distilling their essence into a single moment, a single expression, a single gesture. And for Chloe, that moment is one of pure, unabashed enthusiasm, as she stands with arms wide open, ready to take on the world, one good deed at a time.

[voidfcllen]

Me, realizing I never wrote down my Canon Divergences for my Fairly Odd Parents Muses despite having them explicitly listed as Canon-Inspired and Canon-Divergent.

Chloe & Gary under the cut cause this got long.

ANTI WANDA (Canon Inspired)

Oblivious at times, but not stupid by any means.

Extremely boisterous and domineering personality.

Had dreams of becoming a Fairy Godmother before she realized that Anti-Fairies couldn’t. It’s part of the reason she’s so resentful of Fairies.

Her disguised animal form is an Iguana.

She is extremely close with her younger twin sister Anti-Blonda.

Really, really loves kids. Absolute Mom-Material right here.

If you even LOOK at Anti-Big Daddy wrong she’ll suplex you into the sun.

She’s so in love with Anti-Cosmo it’s honestly gross. She loves his ambition, his cunning, his laugh, just everything about him.

Has a Bachelors Degree in Political Sciences and a minor in Culinary Arts.

She was the one who pushed Anti-Cosmo to try to get Anti-Fairies to have the rights to be Fairy Godparents in later seasons, instead of just taking over the worlds. Which is very sweet of him to do.

CHLOE CARMICHAEL (Canon Inspired)

There is no Fairy Shortage, and Chloe’s Fairy Godfather is Binky.

Chloe struggles with believing that she’s actually miserable, because she’s rich, and her parents are good people, and she isn’t a bad kid.

But just because she’s all of those things doesn’t mean she’s happy.

She tries so hard to live up to the legacies of her successful, philanthropist parents, and it usually ends up blowing up in her face.

Binky’s disguised form is a fluffy purple Bunny with floppy ears.

Chloe is somewhat neurotic and nearly crumbles under the stress and expectations she puts on herself a lot of the time.

She struggles to understand that she’s a child whose allowed to make mistakes, get in trouble, and have fun simply because she wants to have fun, and not because she wants other people to have fun.

Chloe’s parents aren’t around enough to notice she needs help.

Her Try-Hard, Do-Gooder Nature often pushes away potential friends, leaving her alone with her Godparent.

IMAGINARY GARY (Canon Divergent)

Gary’s feelings on Timmy are incredibly complicated right now. But he doesn’t quite hate him anymore.

He knows everything Timmy did about Fairies up until he was made real in his titular episode.

Despite being able to rally the villains on Unwish Island, Gary is still like 11, he’s a child, and wasn’t prepared to be stuck with a bunch of Timmy Clones and villains who genuinely wanted to waste Timmy.

Using the Magic Copy Machine and a Shrink Ray, Gary escaped Unwish Island and has been bumming around Dimmsdale, living his life until he inevitably just disappears because Timmy has lost his Fairies.

Mad Big Brother instincts because he was imagined that way by Timmy, no matter how resentful he is of Timmy for abandoning him. Gary is protective sibling material!!

Give this resentful little megalomaniac a family, pleaseeee.

[fountainpenguin]

Not to fangirl over Chloe Carmichael on main, but-

This anxiety-ridden sweetheart means a lot to me and sometimes I cry about how she needs to distance herself more from her controlling, privacy-violating parents as an adult, and yet I know she will NOT.

All the glimpses of Inner Chloe freaking out while she struggles not to show it on the outside really speak to me. Bless Timmy for staying by her side FOR AN HOUR while she came down from her panic despite the fact he saw her as more of an annoyance than a close friend at this point in the season.

But I cannot get over the fact that Chloe is so good at hiding her breakdowns that her own parents will walk out of the room not realizing something is wrong and that’s just... part of canon. It shatters me, but I love the way Chloe goes from “I’m finally going to have a sleepover!” to “I miscalculated one thing and my life may as well be over.”

I just really love watching her struggle with her parents’ beliefs. This girl’s got PROBLEMS, man! She’s skilled in so many talents because her parents deliberately taught her those things from a young age so they could leave her to take care of herself 80% of the time. They micromanage her private life and try to cut her from her friends, and they regularly leave on trips (including trips to other countries) without saying goodbye or giving any warning.

Sometimes I see media portrayals of Perfectionist Kids where it’s verbally stated that parents put pressure on their child and the kid wishes they wouldn’t, and that’s as deep as it goes. I love how blatant and long-lasting and layered it is with Chloe. Her discomfort with being “bad” isn’t portrayed as her simply telling other characters “I can’t do that or my parents will be disappointed.” Her perfectionism is shown in ways like how she cuts herself off from everyone while trying to focus on studying... That horribly unbalanced work/fun ethic of hers. That “I do not deserve to rest until I have done 90% of The Thing and by that point I may as well just do 100% of The Thing” mindset.

I just love her moments like this-

-where she yells “Cosmo and Wanda are staying here and we’re going to have a super fun night full of good choices!”

Has she ever had a sleepover before? Probably not, and we know her parents wouldn’t let Timmy stay over if you paid them. Sneaking this sleepover with two people who can talk to her must be a dream come true. The emphasis on “Good choices” of course implies “good” is incredibly important to her, and that at this point of the season, she didn’t consider Timmy someone “full of good choices.”

YES, Chloe was created as a foil for Timmy, who by Season 10 is used to getting whatever he wants at the snap of his fingers, so of course she’s going to look like the good girl in comparison, but her over-the-top perfectionism is played to be just as negative and harmful as his habit of slacking off. Timmy and Chloe aren’t meant to be a contrast of “good” and “bad”... They’re a contrast of too much work vs. too much play. They’re two alienated kids finding strength in one another as they grow.

I really like “Booby Trapped” because this is the episode where Timmy finally starts unpacking why Chloe is so high-strung... and he takes a stand against her parents in a heartbeat when she’s too paralyzed to stand up for herself.

It’s just... Very good. I live for these fairy step-siblings supporting one another.

Chloe went from literally plugging her ears and shouting “La la la, I’m not listening, my parents are amazing!” to the smack-in-the-face realization that her parents aren’t perfect in less than 24 hours and I think that’s beautiful. And she struggles with that for the rest of the season... She still clings to that idea of being vegetarian even though she starts experimenting with pepperoni pizza under her parents’ radar. She starts unlearning her perfectionism and learning healthy ways to unwind and be a kid again. She stands up to her parents when they tell her to chain herself to a tree all day instead of joining Timmy at the carnival. I mean, she even BREAKS INTO TIMMY’S HOUSE AT NIGHT TO STEAL A TOY and technically? Character development.

I find it entertaining that when Chloe first came into Timmy’s life, her energetic enthusiasm was pretty draining for him, and he spends the season learning to be more accepting of her big extroverted personality while she spends it learning to tone herself down to the comfort level of an introvert like him. They start off at odds but they actively work to mend their relationship and meet halfway.

Chloe helps Timmy get his head out of the house and his secrets, and he helps her overcome her fears and decide who she wants to be... kind of the same way Cosmo and Wanda helped him.

^^^ Growth.

Chloe’s not the type of person who will ever cut her parents out of her life for good... She doesn’t have it in her. But I hope as an adult she stops internalizing what they say so much. Probably won’t, probably will feel immense guilt every time they critique her for the rest of her life... but I think if she didn’t have Timmy, Cosmo, and Wanda supporting her during this tough, anxiety-ridden time of her life, her adulthood would be a whole lot more miserable.

I just find Chloe very interesting and watching this sweet gal develop was worth all of Season 10′s grievances to me thank you for your time

[carmichael-psychology]

How to Drink Moderately

AKA How to Find Your Drinking Sweet Spot

Jump to:

Tips from Mindfulness Meditation for Moderate Drinking Enjoyment

What to do with your observations

Your drinking “sweet spot”

Conclusion

New York City is a city that loves to drink.  We meet friends for happy hours, we eat at business dinners where a sommelier serves amazing wine, we go to trendy lounges that serve artisanal cocktails,  we attend networking events with open bars, and many of us love a nice quiet drink with a delicious meal and a lively social scene seated at a restaurant bar.  The beauty of it is that for many of us, all this drinking actually leads to great things: successful business dinners, mingling with new and interesting people, a sense of relaxation that happens effortlessly as alcohol immediately creates a mild euphoria that makes us open up, laugh more, and shuts off our incessant internal monologue. Alcohol has clear benefits for many of us, both personally and professionally. With all this drinking, we could probably benefit from some tips from mindfulness to enjoy moderate drinking even more!

The benefits of alcohol lead many of us drink so frequently that it can become habitual.  There is nothing inherently wrong with drinking habitually, but many clients who come to my office indicate that they would prefer to be in control of their habit rather than feel as if the habit has taken on an inertia of its own.  It is very important to note that this is different from alcoholism or addiction to alcohol. The distinction I’m making here is that with an addiction, we tend to think of drinking away our last dollar, drinking that leads to arrests or hospital visits, or other forms of drinking that clearly suggest our normal standards of safety and personal responsibility have been severely compromised due to a desire for alcohol; those types of relationships with alcohol are generally best classified and treated as addictions.  I do not treat addictions to alcohol- my practice is limited to situations where a person’s alcohol use is perfectly safe and more habit-based than addiction-based; I work with clients who are not alcoholics but simply people who want to increase their sense of purpose and control around the way they drink. Here is how many people in my practice have done this successfully:

Tips from Mindfulness Meditation for Moderate Drinking Enjoyment

Decide to build your awareness: Commit to observe your drinking without trying to change your habits, at least at first.  Before we can really try to change something, it’s often helpful to just observe it. This helps us to set realistic goals, and to understand our drinking patterns and triggers more fully than we might if  we paid attention to alcohol only a) to drink it, or b) to control it. The idea here is to pay attention and study your drinking from a neutral, information-gathering, curiosity-based mindset before you attempt any significant efforts to change it.  Once you’ve made a commitment to observe your drinking, here’s one way to do it:

Define your observation field: Mindfulness meditation often involves choosing something to observe and then observing it for a set period of time.  This builds our observation and awareness skills, and pre-defining the time period for observation frees us to delve into the observations without second guessing ourselves with questions like “Should I stop yet?  Have I observed long enough? I wonder if I’m doing this right?”. We can apply this insight from mindfulness meditation to facilitate drinking observations in the following manner: For a predetermined amount of time (for example two weeks, two days, or whatever feels best for you), commit to observe your drinking in a neutral manner by noting down your drink counts.  Your goal here is to tabulate your drinking without attempting to change it. This is actually more difficult than it sounds for many people, so be gentle with yourself if you struggle with this step. Remember: the more familiar you are with basic information about your drinking and the more capable you are of observing it, the easier it will be for you to make whatever changes you desire.

Document your observations: Try to complete the log below for each day, making one entry per day.  If you forget or decline to make a same-day entry but still want to note the information later, put “No” in the “Same Day entry” column to indicate you are making a retroactive log.  Don’t judge yourself if you forget or decline to make a same day entry; just document that it happened if you wish to do so by making a retroactive log. You don’t have to do retroactive entries if you don’t want to do so; you can simply resume your log with your current day and let your log reflect that there are some missing days.   Or if you wish, you can make retroactive entries and simply indicate this with “No” per above. Part of the observation process includes observing your willingness or ability to indicate awareness of your drinking over a predetermined period of time. Many people find a two week period is a good length of time for an observation period, but you can choose whatever period of time feels best for you.

What to do with your observations:

At the end of your observation period, you’ll not only have logged observations of drink counts, you’ll also be observing your overall drinking observation skills and patterns.  We call this “meta awareness” in psychology. It is a form of mindfulness. If you notice that you skipped a lot of days, you can become curious and try to understand why you’re skipping.  Is it because you simply forgot and would benefit from a reminder in your calendar?  Or maybe this means there is a part of you that doesn’t like the idea of observing drink counts?  Or maybe there is some other reason you tend to skip. The idea is to replace any forms of judgement with curiosity so that this becomes an exercise in self-compassion and self-observation rather than self-flagellation.  There are no “wrong” answers, only observations that help you get to know yourself better (caveat: as stated at the beginning, this is only true if you’re someone for whom alcohol does not lead to dangerous behavior- if alcohol is dangerous for you but you can’t quit, then please see an addiction specialist).

The goal is to sharpen your observation skills regarding drinking, so hopefully you will be able to enter more “C”s than “E”s in the last column documenting whether you’re estimating or counting your drinks for the day, but if you find that your log shows nearly all “E”s then welcome this as good information not only as an estimate of your drinks, but also as information about your current observation skills or style.  Become curious about why you tend to estimate rather than count. If it’s because counting feels boring, remember that this is just an observation period that doesn’t have to last forever and that while the counting may not seem entertaining, it is in service of broader insights. If you think you may be estimating to avoiding actually counting because you feel ashamed or regretful about the count, try to be accurate anyway and congratulate yourself for increasing your awareness at all.

Remember to suspend judgement during the counting phase; be proud of yourself for being bold enough to note the real numbers or at least real estimates.  If facing the real numbers is too daunting, that’s good information for you to know as well. The idea here is just to document your observations as well as your willingness and ability to make observations.

Your drinking “sweet spot”

Dr. Chloe raising a glass to toast Carmichael Psychology’s

2015 holiday celebration

Once you have enough data, you can identify a “magic number” of your ideal number of drinks, or your “drinking sweet spot”.  Your ideal number of drinks for our purposes here is the number of drinks that brings you the most pleasure. Many people find that the first 2-3 drinks bring a great deal of pleasure, while the fourth and fifth (or sixth or seventh) drinks seem like they will bring pleasure but actually bring hangovers or regret.  If you’re reading this blog, chances are you’ve had some sort of experience with hangovers, oversharing, extra belly fat, or other features of drinking that you’d rather skip.  The good news is that you can keep the pleasurable parts of drinking and nix the negatives by simply stopping at your “magic number”. Of course, this is easier said than done– if you leave it to your “buzzed self” to decide the magic number “in the moment”, it will be much harder to find the sweet spot than if you track some observations to locate your magic number in a more logical manner, and then do your buzzed self a favor by learning to stick with that number.  Your buzzed self will actually have more fun and thank you later since it no longer has to do “on the spot thinking” about how much to drink.  Many people find that through observation, they discover they frequently drink one or two drinks more than what is actually their true pleasure point.  By reframing your drinking target as a “magic number” that is about your pleasure rather than as a “limit”, many people are able to embrace alcohol moderation as a friend rather than a foe.

Conclusion

Many people find that having a reference point of how much they wish to drink is very helpful since by definition if we “make it up as we go along” and just drink “however much feels right” then we almost always end up drinking more than we want over the years.  This is because we develop a tolerance, and because once we’ve had a few drinks it becomes very difficult to gauge how much more we really want to drink versus how much we’re just operating in a buzzed “more is more” type of mindset that can trick us into drinking more alcohol than is optimally pleasurable– and the goal of drinking is actually pleasure, right?  The first step to determining your magic number and then ultimately having drinking habits that support your magic number is to observe how much you’re drinking without judgement. I hope you will find the approach and worksheet above helpful.  Bottoms up and cheers to you!

To see Dr. Chloe’s helpful blogs on anxiety, relationships, and career issues please see her blogs! Click here

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[riddledeep]

TIMMY AND CHLOE: IN SHORT

Brief bios about an average kid and the girl who kind of understands him

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Sharing Fairies - In March 2004 (Season 10), Timmy was assigned to share Cosmo and Wanda with his new neighbor, Chloe Carmichael. Though they still grate on one another’s nerves to this day, they do care for one another and I interpret them to be like step-siblings.

Cosmo and Wanda have joint godparenting licenses and their boss at ASPRA cannot force them to split up. You will almost always find both of them hanging around the same godkid. However, they can sense their godkids’ stress levels and will poof over if called.

Eventually, Timmy and Chloe divide their time with Cosmo and Wanda thus: Timmy has priority on odd-numbered days, Chloe on even days. Alternate arrangements must be discussed in advance; unless it’s an emergency, the priority kid has priority. Cosmo and Wanda check in at night and sleep at the house of the kid who will have them the following day.

TIMOTHY TIBERIUS TURNER

Birthday: March 21st, 1992

Height (10): 4′2″  

Height (Adult): 5′4″

Age During Frozen Timestream: 10

Alignment: Neutral Good

MBTI: INFP

Love Language: Quality time

Handedness: Somewhat ambidextrous; favors left hand

Hometown: Dimmsdale - A coastal city in California, USA

Favorite School Subject: World History

Least Favorite Subject: Geography

Dream Career: Comic book artist

Had Fairy Godparents: June 3rd, 2001 (Age 9) - October 15th, 2010 (Age 17)

Favorite Wish: Poof (“Fairly Odd Baby”); Timmy loves his godbrother dearly and has no regrets

Bio: If you asked an onlooker, Timmy Turner is the unpopular loner kid who mumbles to himself a lot, talks to inanimate objects, and loves soccer. He struggles to complete his assignments and isn’t the best at sports, but he’s a pretty good kid. Mr. Crocker is convinced that he has fairy godparents, but this of course is crazy. If Timmy had fairies, why would he bother to stick around school, and why wouldn’t he wish for better grades, his homework finished, or for bullies and insane teachers to stop picking on him? Duh.

Although Timmy can be a complainer, he’s also supportive, helpful, and motivating. He struggles to talk about his feelings, but he believes in people even when they’re reluctant to believe in themselves, and his optimism, imagination, and ability to see people for what they can become rather than what they are may be his greatest strengths.

Timmy can be slightly unstable in emotional relationships because he’s fairly needy and a bit clingy at times, but he does his best to meet the needs of his partner and find a compromise when possible. He doesn’t struggle to swallow his pride and will generally put the needs of others above his own, unless the feelings of abandonment are really stirring up his brain. He works hard not to make hurtful wishes when he’s angry, and instead wishes for small comforts to cheer himself up- a habit Chloe could afford to learn from.

Timmy finds joy in simple things, like a significant other being willing to hold his hand in public even in front of people who view him as a loser. He’s a rather simple, starry-eyed kid with a heart of gold, although his short attention span, creativity, and curiosity tend to get him in a lot of trouble.

His natural tendency to see the good in everything leads him to place people and ideas on pedestals, only to be disappointed when they don’t live up to his high expectations. Even after someone disappoints him, Timmy is trusting and warily willing to offer anyone a second chance. He might seem a bit flighty and materialistic at times, but he’s just trying to obtain the lifestyle and build relationships he feels will make him happy.

Timmy spends his teenage years hanging out with Chloe during school and most afternoons, and playing board games (including tabletop RPGs) in the evenings once or twice a week. He begins dating Molly around age 16 after they both get their licenses, and the two eventually move in together. During the time they’re cohabiting, they have both Tammy and Tommy. With Molly reluctant to stall her plans to be a theater actress, Timmy takes on most of the childcare duties. His relationship with Molly strains at times, but it’ll pull through... He’s sure of it.

Related:

Full Character Profile || Family Tree || House Layout || Dimmsdale Map || Cosmo’s and Wanda’s Bios || Poof’s Bio || Molly’s Bio || Tammy’s and Tommy’s Bios || Parents’ Bios

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CHLOE CARMICHAEL

Birthday: March 21st, 1992 (As far as you know)

Height (10): 4′6″  

Height (Adult): 5′8″

Age During Frozen Timestream: 10

Alignment: Lawful Good -> Neutral Good

MBTI: ENFP

Love Language: Acts of service

Handedness: Right dominant

Hometown: Seattle (Formerly); later Dimmsdale

Favorite School Subject: Chemistry

Least Favorite Subject: English (Enjoyable, but not challenging enough)

Dream Career: Field linguist

Had Fairy Godparents: March 2nd, 2004 (Just before turning 11) - March 20th, 2011 (Just as she turned 18)

Favorite Wish: Wishing to be an adult (“Dimmsdale Daze”); despite the drama it caused, she considers it a very valuable learning experience

Bio: A bubbly egomaniac with a penchant for community service and a glowing belief that life is about experiencing all the world has to offer- that’s our Chloe! She’s constantly bursting at the seams, always ready to throw herself into a challenge and get dirty if it means making life better for other people or creatures. She may have an enormous ego, but rarely will she focus purely on herself- even when she’s made plans that she’s really looking forward to, Chloe will set them aside in order to make someone else happy, even if making that person happy involves putting herself in an uncomfortable situation.

Chloe is not as confident as she tries to paint herself to be. She’s incredibly vulnerable to criticism and doesn’t like watching her helpfulness go to waste. Panic attacks are a frequent part of her life and always will be, and she gladly welcomes the support of her friends (Timmy, Molly, and Kevin especially). 

Although she loves her parents dearly, she questions more and more of their rules as she gets older- one of the first things to go when she moved out, for example, was her vegetarian diet, which has always been more about pleasing her parents than because she truly believed in it.

Chloe is highly judgmental, even if she doesn’t think she is. She reacts quickly, often emotionally, and is far more likely to make powerful wishes when she’s angry than Timmy is even though she normally considers herself a patient and level-headed person

But, give her a few days when she’s upset and she’ll slide back down to her friendly, pleasant self; “rosy retrospection” could be her middle name. Chloe doesn’t hold grudges for long and is quick to forgive, whether you apologize to her or not. She is good at attracting friends with her spunk and kindness, but she burns through them quickly because she’s rather exhausting to be around. Timmy has a lot of energy and is genuinely interested in hanging out with a friend who brings a million new ideas for wishes and fun to the table, so after their initial rockiness, the two managed to form a lasting friendship.

In her late teens, Chloe discovers her feelings for Kevin Crocker and the two date for many years. Since Kevin refuses to marry her until he’s secured his own place away from his mom and Chloe’s in no real rush, the two spend their young adulthood in friendly limbo as they struggle with career choices and debate whether their relationship can withstand long distances.

Chloe has always hoped to have her own kids someday and Kevin is sterile, so they have some difficult decisions to work out... with opposing views that could lead to a lot of bitter tears.

Related:

Full Character Profile || Family Tree || House Layout || Dimmsdale Map || Cosmo’s and Wanda’s Bios || Kevin’s Bio || Foop’s Bio || Parents’ Bios

[caveartfair]

What Does an Artist Coach Do?

The Therapist, 2018. Audun Alvestad Kristin Hjellegjerde Gallery

I’ve always been slightly curious about—if not downright suspicious of—people who have never been in therapy. How could you not want to pay someone to listen to your hopes and fears and anxieties, to gently nudge you in the direction of better personhood? (Of course, too often it’s the cost or a lack of insurance that is prohibitive.) But therapeutic options are myriad, and there’s no one-size-fits-all scenario. For every person in old-school psychoanalysis, there’s another who is meeting with an unlicensed healer to discuss chakras and cleanses. There are cognitive-behaviorists, nutrition coaches, life coaches, business coaches, and people you can hire to babysit you during psychedelic drug trips. If you’ve got a problem, there’s always someone out there who you can hire to help you solve it.

Unsurprisingly, there are also artist coaches, whose services are geared toward both creative professionals and hobbyists. In order to get a handle on what this type of counseling entails—and who it might be best suited for—I reached out to five very different artist coaches. Some are laser-focused on improving your earning potential, while others treat artmaking as more of a process of self-discovery that has little to do with a paycheck. All of them share a passion for helping their clients become better artists and, perhaps, more balanced human beings.

Public speaking and learning to tell your story

Gigi Rosenberg teaching in New York. Courtesy of Gigi Rosenberg.

Portland, Oregon–based Gigi Rosenberg said that her “perfect client” is someone who has spent about five years engaged in their practice. Most of the people she works with are in their thirties or considerably older, rather than bright-eyed, recent art-school grads. “It’s somebody who’s really ready to, basically, listen to me,” she laughed, “to take direction and really move their career to the next level.” Rosenberg offers in-person sessions at her office, but also regularly conducts online consultations with clients who may hail from the Middle East or Mexico.

Coaching, for her, entails a wide range of services—from assistance with grant-writing to informal website critique. Preliminary sessions aim to get artists thinking about how they define success and where they want to go in their careers. “I find it so easy to tell when somebody is excited about something, versus when they’re just doing it because they think they should,” Rosenberg said. She tries to distill an artist’s desires and motivations with questions like “Do you really want a gallery, or just think you should get a gallery?” It’s this nuance that makes an artist coach more of a resource than, say, a well-meaning friend who’s willing to visit your studio and listen to your problems.

Rosenberg’s practice also emphasizes storytelling—sharpening the ways in which an artist can convey her work in different contexts. Public-speaking has become a centerpiece of her coaching. Artists who are gearing up for a talk or a presentation might give it a dry run during a coaching session, either in-person or via video chat. Rosenberg helps tweak both the “content and the actual performance,” and cautions artists out of familiar pitfalls. A client might think they need to sound “academic and jargon-y,” or they might have the opposite problem—that their story is too vague or wishy-washy. “The comment I mostly give is, ‘This sounds like it could be any artist,’” Rosenberg added, alluding to a hypothetical artist who might boldly state that they’re “interested in the human condition” or other enormous concepts.

A safe space for early-stage artists

Artist coaches like Lauren Rader are a good fit for someone who approaches artmaking as a creative outlet, rather than with ambitions to launch a lucrative career. Rader thinks of herself as something akin to a guide, and her methods are closer to hands-on art-teaching, with less of the professional development tactics that some coaches employ. “I’m very interested in the creative process, and each person’s personal expression—creating art from a place of truth,” she said. Her clients might even be completely new to artmaking. “I’m very much about coming in where they’re at, and figuring out what’s going to help move them forward in a personally real and fulfilling way,” she added.

Rader’s style sounds akin to a gentle crit. Yet while MFA programs have a reputation for their constructive viciousness—with teachers and fellow students attacking one’s work in order to improve it—this art coach isn’t trying to make domineering value judgments.

Rader mentioned that one student she was mentoring in a group setting had soured on the often brutal atmosphere in art school. Indeed, she said that part of her job is to help repair the damage that rampant criticality may have had on her artist-client’s self-esteem. Many people she works with are coming to her “having been crushed” from some hurtful criticism, she said, and are trying to get back to their art.

Rader would make an ideal coach for someone who wants to make art a bigger part of their life, even if they’re not eager to swim into the ultra-competitive market. “You don’t give up your high standards,” Rader said, reflecting on her coaching philosophy, “but you can still be kind and thoughtful.”

Show me the money!

The Abundant Artist founder Cory Huff and Nashville painter Brad Blackman. Photo by John Partipilo. Courtesy of Cory Huff.

Bridgette Mayer wears many hats: gallerist, art consultant, author, and coach. Her extensive background makes her a go-to resource for established artists who are keen to evolve—and to monetize their artmaking. “I don’t do the work for the artist,” she said. “I ask them questions; get their wheels spinning.” Artists generally sign on to work with her for a period of 90 days, with check-in calls every 10 days. These intense, fast-paced conversations generate “a whole checklist of things that they need to do,” she said.

Mayer cited one former client who, nearly bankrupt, was able to swiftly turn things around, selling over $20,000 of his work within three weeks. She helped another artist, who was already showing with a Georgia-based gallery, launch a sideline career leading lucrative watercolor workshops. “Most wealthy people have between 10 and 15 sources of income and revenue,” Mayer noted. “Most artists have one, maybe two at the most.”

Mayer, and coaches like her, would make a good match for professionals who have the art chops and training—but might lack the killer business instinct to actually make a living. She doesn’t have much patience for MFA programs that fail to prepare students for the actual market, or for popular clichés that assume artists are doomed to struggle. “I’m really interested in undoing the ‘starving artist’ paradigm,” she said.

Many artists have anxiety and shame around money, Mayer added. “Some feel it’s not even authentic to talk about making money, that it’s anti-art,” she said. Her approach might also be energizing for anyone with big career ambitions who has been rebuffed after attempting to break into the insular market of a city like New York. “There are so many talented artists,” Mayer said, “and they’re looking at one model: the New York, major gallery, blue-chip, well-known-artist model…that world isn’t for everyone.” Her coaching is intended to inspire clients to “create [their] own art world” beyond that bubble—one in which they can achieve both personal and financial satisfaction.

Cory Huff, founder of The Abundant Artist, takes a similarly no-nonsense approach to coaching. “Most artists I’ve met have been deeply uncomfortable with talking about money, sales, or both,” he said. However, the artists he knows who didn’t go to art school “rarely have that baggage.” When artists are coming from another career where they were fairly compensated, he said, they’re more likely to expect that from their art career, as well. “We all need to eat and put a roof over our heads,” Huff said. “The idea that we should ignore that is silly fantasy.”

However, one-on-one coaching with The Abundant Artist isn’t for everyone. Huff said that his clients who sign up for six-month stints are already pulling in around $100,000 a year from art sales. “Typically, our work together involves assisting with hiring studio assistants, scaling up production, and creating new revenue streams for the business,” he said.

Art coaching with a side of psychotherapy

New York–based Dr. Chloe Carmichael is another type of art coach entirely. She’s a licensed psychologist whose practice focuses on anger management, couples therapy, and anxiety issues, in addition to coaching creatives. While she might help a client improve their business acumen and confidence, Carmichael wields a more holistic, big-picture lens—helping artists work through emotional management, for instance, or “rejection sensitivity.” The distinction between art coaching in this sense and actual psychotherapy can be minor—but important. Psychotherapy, Carmichael explained, would likely include a clinical diagnosis, whereas coaching would not. The distinction there might also affect whether or not insurance will help pick up the bill.

Roleplaying is one key part of Carmichael’s toolkit. Sometimes, she will play the gallerist and the artists will play themselves. “And sometimes we might flip it: The artist might want to watch me model responses to some of the difficult questions a gallerist or agent might give them,” she said.

By utilizing cognitive-behavioral techniques, Carmichael can also help artists move beyond self-destructive patterns. And unlike passive, Freudian-style analysts, therapists like Carmichael are actively guiding their clients and offering specific advice. She mentioned the example of a hypothetical artist who, before an important event, would “go through some really negative self-talk…because they think it protects them from being surprised by disappointment.” In this case, she’d introduce “thought replacements,” she said—“things that the person would want to be mentally rehearsing and saying to themselves on their way to such a meeting…different types of mental scripts.”

This type of artist coaching would be ideal for someone who wants to address both their creative practice and everything else that comes with it. It’s more of a whole-person approach, but one that can introduce its own unanticipated anxieties. “Artists tend to have a love-hate relationship with whatever it is about themselves that they’re seeking help with,” Carmichael said. An extremely sensitive artist, she noted, might lack the wherewithal to promote herself—and yet find herself “almost superstitiously attached to that sensitivity or vulnerability. They feel that it’s the source of the raw material that gets expressed through their art.” The same can be true for an artist consumed by anger or sadness, emotional states so intertwined with the concept of the so-called “tortured artist” that, as clients, they are “almost afraid of fixing” their problems, Carmichael said. Part of the coaching journey here might simply be accepting that your problems don’t define you; that it’s possible to become a better artist, and a better human, all at the same time.

from Artsy News

[trugreyloki]

Fairly Odd Question!

Who did Timmy Turner have the most natural and real romantic chemistry with on the show? No Timantha, no age changing wishes. Just him as he is.

Choice #1 Tootie

I have seen many ships with him and Tootie and, to be transparent, I like that ship. His overall kindness and tolerance towards her antics is sweet, but…

She be Stalking HIM!

That’s not ok. She has an unhealthy obsession with him, with no real reason as to why.

Choice #2 Trixie

Transparent opinion: dislike her as an overall character.

Too into herself and EXTREMELY shallow. Only likes Timmy when he’s either the last person on earth, the prophesied chosen one, suddenly rich and cool, ignoring her, Timantha, and said list goes on.

Her only good points are shown in “The Boy Who Would Be Queen.” We see how she avoids actively combating the status quo, even though she has interests outside what is expected of her.

Comics, wrestling, and other predominantly boy interests. This episode have so much well deserved depth to her, but it was for nought. Later episodes never delve back into this aspect of her and she becomes such horrible character with no redeemable features.

As a match for Timmy: She’s a 3/1000.

Choice #3 Veronica Star

Transparent opinion: Not much there to like or dislike. Meh feeling.

B-rate popular girl who gets bullied just as much as Timmy. Has an intense, but unrequited and unknown crush on Timmy.

Her interactions with Timmy are minimal, entailing bullying him at many points with no remorse in most cases. Even her more kind interactions follow shallowly behind Trixie.

Speaking of…

She might f*ckin scalp Trixie at some point!

[And I thought Toots McGoots was stalker-y. D@mn.]

Choice #4 Molly

Transparent opinion: Who… da HELL IS THIS CHICK!?

Seriously! Who is she? She was in one episode and never came back even as a background character!

I mean look at this:

She has her own character category for fanfiction!? Why?! I’m confused!

*Sighs*

I’m gonna have an aneurysm, moving on.

Choice # 5 Missy

Transparent opinion: Generic love interest.

Nothing Special. A one episode plot device.

NEXT!

Choice #6 Carly

Transparent opinion: Why?…………………

Choice #6 Cindy Vortex

Transparent opinion: Like her better with Jimmy.

My only gripes with her pairing with Timmy are 1) different universes/dimensions, 2) see my opinion.

Choice #7 Chloe Carmichael

Transparent opinion: I understand the hate, but I don’t hate her myself.

Too much of a bro towards Timmy to be considered a real option. She does however fall into a good rapport with him.

Lastly, Choice #8 Vicky

Transparent opinion: Is she icky? I dunno. But she sure is CRAZY!!

Now I totally understand her beginning characteristics. As a babysitter you wanna put your best face forward to please the parents in order to keep your job. However, this psycho belongs in jail.

The amount of crimes she has committed on and off screen is impressively terrifying.

That being said, there are times that she is too nice to Timmy when there’s nothing to gain from it.

In “Snow Bound” both Timmy and Vicky are trapped in an avalanche and believe they might die. Vicky is quick to apologize to him for everything she has ever done up to that point.

Now some people think that this is because she knows what she has done is wrong and she wishes to repent, but…

It’s only towards Timmy.

And when she’s in need of saving, from being fired or in general, Timmy does help in many cases.

In my opinion the one who Timmy has the best chemistry with is:

Chloe. She’s the only character who hasn’t just developed into a one-dimensional squiggly like the others, barring Cindy.

So yea, in my opinion, Chloe x Timmy is the best pairing

2nd best is Vicky x Timmy.

And 3rd best is Timmy x restraining order for the first 3.

[theinsanecrayonbox]

Spring Break-Up/Fancy Schmancy

so, this is the first episode (Spring Break-Up) that i actually have had reviewed for months now, due to airings in other countries. i kept my initial review thought because i do these by my knee-jerk excitement thoughts, then analyze them later on. so, lets see if my initial thoughts months ago still stand up...

Spring Breakup:

Ok this was the first episode saw mention of Chloe’s family waaaay back whenever, but now we know it is not the first or the second appearance of them. After their reactions in Which is Wish, it’ll be interesting to see how the Carmichaels do interact with the Turners again.

 SANJAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMROMROMROMROMROMROMR SANJAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You were right at the front of that kid hoard, there’s no way you’re there by accident!! SANJAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We haven’t seen you since Squirrely Puffs I think! I thought you went away! SANJAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don’t care that you don’t speak, you are there!! SANJAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 Not much commentary so far because this is a typical camping episode…you know, the low tech vs the high tech…I’m also not camping person…though one note: Timmy, you and Dad go camping with eth Squirrely Scouts all the time, you do regular camping too, and you even did scouting stuff with Chloe, so…you do sleep in nature dude

 But you just had to make a fart joke. *sigh* well it has been a while…or maybe it just seems that way because it takes FOREVER for new content to be shown

 Forest elves…kay…on they’re Keebler elves, gottchya, carry on

 Chloe believe in magic and being sent a shrink is a yay, I’m so glad she’s getting all her beliefs in the magical world validated ^^

 The Keebler elves are so tiny…I guess they’re a different kind than Santa’s elves...and the elves at Poof’s school who had cookies… FOP now has North and South elves, I love it.

 I am actually enjoying the parents’ feuding too. I like how Connie is the more dominant one and it shows. It’s also nice to see that as kids, though we are total opposites, we are more likely to accept others, whereas as adults it’s harder to look past what drives us insane.

 Children no, the whole “make the fairies attack me so they will stop fighting to save us” plan never works the way you want it to. Don’t you remember that from Sleep Over and Over Timmy? And look as the plan falls part in the same similar fashion. Wow, you don’t learn.

 Ok I am honestly liking Connie a whole lot more now too. We see where Chloe gets her crazy from (which still works even if she is adopted; “I learned it from you mom!”) and how Clark is…well, pretty useless. It’s a really interesting dynamic.

 But of course everyone’s saved du. Connie dances with the very dashing poolboy while Clark is oddly absent…

 And the Crocker button at the end…you know what, I’ll let it slide. It’s not horrible obtrusive, and look an Easter Bunny cameo!

 Over all, another clichéd story, but it was done up pretty decently. I think they’ve finally figured out how to write Chloe and Timmy as a whole unit, instead of pitting them boy vs girl.

Fancy Schmancy:

 How many towering projects you do Timmy? Maybe you should be an architect instead of a lawyer…

 But Chloe just bursting into her neighbor’s house unannounced; I can totally relate XDDD and she said “friendiversary” yay ^^ but 3 months you say? *looks at actual calendar, looks at the camera* comicbook time scale I guess…but whatever! That puts this at about around…(birthday is early March…) late May/early June

 That…I guess *isn’t* a pointless Crocker, but it’s close…

 Chloe is obsessed with owls?? Well, that suits her B/Catman themed I guess…

 “Weird Owl” omr yes, love it so much. Bird song parodies??? I love it. Is he going to voice on here? I know he was doing a bunch of voice acting for a spell there, especially at Hasbro…

 Wet Chloe hair is cute *saves reff for later*

 Awww Timmy said she was his best friend

 Chloe parents! Ok, I guess I see why they forced Spring Break-Up to go with this, because they needed to introduce the parents’ dislike for one another. But you know, if you hadn’t wanted this episode on so fast, it wouldn’t have been necessary, just saying…

 That was yet ANOTHER different string of middle names! I seriously need to rewatch every episode and get her middle names down…

 Still love how Chloe’s mom is still the alpha parent. And “co-parents”, yup they are alternative people (so they’ll totally warm up to Molly and Chester eventually lol)

 I love the 3-prong sockets on the VR helmet, just saying

 But dollar bills rarely give paper cuts I thought, since they’re not paper…

 I’m surprised you don’t know that Wanda, since you know, fairies used owls as a messenger service before. Maybe because they were fairy-bred owls, so you thought earth owls would be different? Idk, just seems off to me

 I like the alarm voice, but lookit Chloe’s fancy dress! So cute ^^

 Heh “over achievers camp”

 “if only there was someone schmancy and riff-raff” I would have guessed Remy but….oh look the catlady, yup, because why add in the previously established rich kid who is a member of the country club, and has fairies, and would probably not help them unless it was in his best interests and thus over complicate the Romeo and Juliet plot by making it more interesting

 “well this took a weird turn” actually Tim, it’s about standard faire these days. But that doesn’t mean it was that bad

 awww hand holding!

 And yeah, gotta follow through with the Crocker, ok I give it to you. And nope, no singing weird Owl. Darn.

 So at the end of it, this wasn’t that bad of an episode. It was pretty basic; it was nice to see the follow through with Dad being rich, and some more of Chloe’s parents. Pretty much filler in my opinion. Won’t know how good or bad that is until we see Goldie-Crocks and the Fairbears which is what’s SUPPOSED to be paired with this episode.

 Again, I feel like the episode selection process for these was very arbitrary and makes no logical sense. Aside fro the fact that yes, you needed Spring Break-Up before so you get the introduction to the parents not getting along, but since we had Booby Trapped months (a year?) ago, we already met her parents, so it’s not like we needed to establish them as characters.

[woods2006gal]

Chapter 06 - The Phantom of the Opera

“Nothing says school spirit like a ring that looks like it was jacked from P. Diddy,” Chloe says, examining her class ring. Zoey frowns as she looks at her own ring. It wasn’t necessary her taste. Their sophomore year had gotten off to a normal start for Smallville. Clark had developed a new power, heat vision, and Zoey had been grossed out to know what caused it. Lex had a quickly marriage caused by their formal biology teacher, Miss Atkins. Pete had discovered Clark’s spaceship and learned his secret.

“I think it looks great, Chloe,” Clark argues.

“Yeah, I think we’ll be lucky if the glue holds through graduation. I wonder if the ruby’s even real,” Chloe tells them, then heads down the hallway.

Zoey shrugs. “It’s okay. It’s nothing something I would wear everyday.” She raises an eyebrow as Clark moves up in the line to the table to pick up his ring. “You’re really doing this?”

“I’m here, aren’t I?” Zoey and Pete exchange a look. “What?”

“If I correctly recall, Uncle Jonathan’s exact words were ‘$350 is a lot of money to spend on something you really don’t need.’”

“I earned that money. Besides, dad said that it was my decision to make. And he didn’t say anything about you getting one.”

“I didn’t mention that I was getting one.”

“And what your dad really means, Clark, is that you’re really not supposed to buy it,” Pete points out.

Clark shrugs and hands over his money and order. The person at the table hands him a ring box. He pulls out the ring and immediately it puts it on. Zoey places at Pete. It was as if something had quickly changed within Clark.

“Clark, are you okay,” Zoey asks.

“Yeah, I feel great,” Clark answers. Zoey follows his gaze and rolls her eyes seeing. Next to Lana was the new girl, who wore a see through crop top and black jeans.

“Excuse me,” Mr. Gibbons, the vice principal, calls, walking up to them. “It’s Jessie, isn’t it? Perhaps Miss Lang didn’t tell you, but there’s a dress code here at Smallville High.”

“Lame and lamer,” Jessie mockingly answers. Clark laughs and Zoey raises an eyebrow. He was all about following the rules.

Mr. Gibbons shoots Clark a glare. “You think that’s funny, Mr. Kent?”

“By the way, I’m not changing,” Jessie states.

“Well, perhaps you’d like to discuss your attitude in my office.”

“Excuse me, Mr. Gibbons,” Clark calls. “I think she looks really hot. And I think that your dress code…sucks.”

Mr. Gibbons stares at Clark. “Excuse me?”

“I mean, come on, it’s her first day. Cut her some slack. Besides, I don’t think you should be the one giving fashion tips.”

Mr. Gibbons turns to Jessie. “Tomorrow, young lady, proper attire or you’re going straight home.”

Lana forces a smile. “I guess we can finish our tour later,” she says, then walks off with Jessie.

“Whoa,” Pete says, staring at Clark. “Where did that come from?”

“I don’t know,” Clark answers with a smile. “But I think I liked it.”

~*~

Zoey walks down the stairs. She clutched her Blackberry in her right hand. “Um, Uncle Max just got called me. He wanted to know why I spent ten thousand dollars at Discount Eddie’s electronics last night in Metropolis,” she tells her godparents. Jonathan and Martha exchange a worried look. Suddenly, loud music blares from outside.

They follow the music to the barn. Zoey stares at the jet ski. There were numerous boxes scattered around the barn. She follows Martha and Jonathan up the stairs. Clark was sitting in front of a large flat screen TV, playing a video game. Along with the different electronics around the loft, were numerous items of expensive clothes. “Clark,” Jonathan shouts, grabbing the remote off a nearby speaker. Instead of turning down the music, he turns it up. Clark grabs the remote from his father and turns it off. “Clark, where did you get all this stuff?”

“Discount Eddie’s in Metropolis,” Clark answers. “Open all night.”

“We can’t afford all this...stuff,” Martha says, looking around.

“Zoey can,” Clark argues. “It’s just a drop in the bucket for her.”

“You stole my credit card and went on a shopping spree, Clark,” Zoey snaps.

“You can afford it. You’re richer than Lex.”

Jonathan tenses. “Clark, you’re going to take all this stuff back.”

“I don’t understand how we have money troubles, when all we have to do is ask Zoey. Hell, she’s miss moneybags. With one phone call she can take care of all of our problems. Why is she even living with us if you’re not going to take advantage of that?”

Zoey stares at him. She walks out of the barn. “Zoey,” Martha shouts, running after her. “Zoey, I’m sure Clark didn’t—”

“I need to finish getting ready. I don’t want to miss the bus,” Zoey interrupts, walking up the stairs. She enters her bedroom and closes the door with a soft thud. She leans against it and bites her lip to keep the sob from coming out.

~*~

“Pete! Zoey,” Chloe calls out, causing them to walk into the Torch’s office. Pete had been checking on Clark by talking with Zoey. She, however, had been avoiding Clark since he had stolen her credit card. “You are not going to believe what I found out! Our El Cheapo class rings are in fact, fake.”

Zoey forces a smile. “That’s not exactly surprising, Chloe.”

“Chloe, there’s something wrong with Clark,” Pete tells the blonde reporter.

Chloe frowns. Zoey picks up a rock that was sitting on top of a pile of paper. “More than usual?”

“Last night at the Talon, the motorcycle…other stuff.”

“What kind of other stuff?”

“The kind that has Mr. and Mrs. Kent calling my house. They’re really worried. It’s like they think he’s on drugs or something.”

Zoey nods. “Yeah, somethings really up with Clark.”

“Clark would have to be on drugs to be on drugs. Uh, just be careful with that.”

Zoey shoots her a curious look. “What is it?”

“My expose,” Chloe answers. She holds out her hand with her class ring on it. “See this lovely $350 piece of school spirit? It’s a rip off. The jewelry company was substituting worthless meteor rocks for rubies to save money.”

“Meteor rocks are green, not red.”

“Not the load they found near Hobbes Pond. Note the red vine. You guys can read all about it on page one of today’s Torch.”

Pete takes off out of the office. Chloe turns to Zoey and she shrugs. “Bets me.”

~*~

Clark knocks on the door of Zoey’s bedroom. She was sitting at her desk, working on biology homework. “How goes your apology tour,” she asks without looking up. Even after learning that he was essentially on the Clark Kent version of drugs, Zoey had still avoid him until Jonathan with the help of Pete had managed to destroy Clark’s class ring.

“Uh, good. Look, Zoey, the things I said...I’m sorry. I didn’t mean any of it,” Clark replies, shoving his hands in his jean’s pockets.

Zoey turns to him. “Clark, we both know that you did. Those feelings didn’t just magically appear because of red meteor rock.”

Clark sighs. “You’re right. I don’t like that we have money troubles and you don’t.”

Zoey bites her lip. She looks at a picture of her, Oliver, her parents, and Max. It was taken a couple of months before her parents died. They had rented a house in Aspen for the holidays. “Clark, I would give all the money up to have my mom and dad here.”

Clark shifts. He knew that Zoey would do anything to have her parents alive and well. He also knew that it was part of the reason why she was so close to Max. “I returned all the stuff that I brought.”

Zoey shrugs. “It’s fine.”

“Max isn’t going—”

“Uncle Max thought it was hilarious. He says next you go on a drunk shopping spree, then at least let him know.”

~*~

Zoey sighs as walk through the woods to the graveyard. Things had been tense in the Kent household ever since Clark’s adventure with red meteor rock. She stops at the headstone with the name Jackson York written on it. She had found the grave of her grandfather a couple of years earlier, while researching her father’s family for a school project. Her parents, Shannon and Matthew, were buried in the Carmichael family crypt just outside of Star City. She finds an envelope sitting on top of the headstone. She cautiously takes it off and sees her name elegantly scrawled on it. Then leaves rustle. She turns to look, but doesn’t find any one there. She examines the envelope and finds it sealed with wax.

The next morning at school, Zoey explains the letter and finding it to Chloe and Lana. “Ah, the sentiment’s nice. But the fact that found this in a graveyard seems a little Amityville,” Chloe tells her as they walk down the hallways.

“I think it’s kind of romantic,” Lana counters. “I haven’t had a love letter since third grade. It seems like a lost art.”

Zoey frowns. “I’ve never gotten a love letter. Am I missing out on something?”

“Believe me, you’re not missing out. This morning in trig, I intercepted a note from a wrestler to a cheerleader. It wasn’t exactly poetic, but, um, he defiantly got his point across,” Chloe says. “Who do you think wrote it?”

“No idea,” Zoey replies, taking the letter back. They walk into the Torch’s office and the girls sit down on the couch. “If you take away the whole found it in a cemetery, then it is a little romantic.”

“Hey, guys,” Clark greets, walking into the Torch office with Pete. “What’s going on?”

Chloe smirks. “Zoey has a secret admirer.”

Zoey rolls her eyes. The last thing she wanted was to Clark to know about it. “It’s nothing.”

“What do you mean nothing? What happen to romantic,” Chloe argues, taking the letter and handing it to Clark.

Clark frowns as he reads over the letter. “It’s a little mushy.”

Lana laughs. “Clark Kent, the man of steel.”

Zoey stands up and grabs the letter. “I have to go,” she mutters and quickly makes her way out of the Torch’s office. The last thing she wanted to discuss with Clark was anything related to her love life.

~*~

Zoey rolls her eyes when she walks between the counter and sees Lex holding up the poem. News of the letter had quickly spread around town. “It’s a little personal,” she tells him, then sets about making his usual order. “But you are more than welcome to read it. Just as long as you don’t agree with Clark. He thinks it a little sappy.”

Lex chuckles. “The, uh, imagery is a little naive, but the meter’s actually quite sophisticated. Who wrote this?”

“I have no idea. But depending on who you ask, it’s either an admirer or a psychopath.”

He shoots her a concerned look. “That had a little venom to it. Everything all right?”

Zoey sighs. “I’m just tired of everyone giving me crap over the poem.”

“Take me to you, imprison me, for I never shall be free, nor ever chaste, except you ravish me,” Lex recites.

Zoey smiles. “John Donne. One of my favorites.”

Lex smirks. “If I didn’t know better, I’d say I found your Achille’s heel.”

Zoey laughs. “I didn’t realize you were into poetry.”

“Anyone who doesn’t appreciate poetry doesn’t understand that it’s all about seduction.” Lex hands the poem back to her. “Could it be from a certain brooding teenager I saw with you last summer?”

A light blush appears on Zoey’s face. “It’s not his hand writing. Besides, leaving it in a cemetery isn’t exactly his style.”

A throat clears and they turn to see Clark. He shifts. “Zoey, I know things aren’t so great between us right now, but I want to apologize for ragging on the poem.”

Zoey waves a hand. “It’s fine, Clark. Poetry’s not for everyone.”

“Don’t you think it’s weird,” Clark asks. “This guy’s sneaking around watching you.”

Zoey raises an eyebrow. “First of all, Clark, trying to play the over protective big brother role will not work because I’m older than you. And it’s no worse than paparazzi following me.”

A concerned look crosses Clark’s face. “Zoey—”

“Hey, why don’t we talk about how much Lex hates having his dad as a roommate,” Zoey deflects, shooting a smirk at Lex. Another thing she didn’t find ideal to share with Clark: photographers in Star City capturing moments that she felt was intimate.

~*~

That night, Zoey finds herself back in the cemetery, waiting to see if the mysterious admirer makes an appearance. She sits down at her grandfather’s grave and pulls out a thermos of coca she had made at the Talon earlier during her shift. “I’m insane,” she mutters, glancing at her watch. It was nearly one in the morning and there had been no sign. She pulls her pea coat close as she fights off a yawn. Footsteps crunch on leaves. She turns. There in the shadows of the moonlight was a tall man. He wore a white loose shirt. He takes off and she quickly goes after. “I got your poem,” she shouts, hoping that he would stop. “It was...amazing.”

He stops. She could see that he long dark hair. And he wore a checkered scarf. He looks at her, shyly. “You really think so?”

“Yes.” Zoey walks towards him. She notices another envelope on the ground and picks it up. Her name is elegantly written on it. “What’s your name?”

“Byron.”

Zoey smiles, moving closer to him. “Like the poet.”

“Like my great uncle. But there’s nothing poetic about him.”

Zoey glances down at the envelope in her hands. “Why do you leave these poems for me?”

“Because you inspire me,” Byron softly answers. She could see his dark brown eyes. Zoey pulls a flash light from her pocket and turns it on. She starts to search through her pockets, but he hits the flashlight out of her hand. “No. Don’t.”

“Get away from her!”

Zoey turns to see Clark running towards. “What the fuck are you doing here,” she snaps. Byron takes off running, but trips over a headstone and falls to the ground. “Byron, are you okay?”

“Yes, I’m fine,” Byron answers. Byron touches the back of his head. He pulls his hand away to reveal blood. Then he passes out.

“We should get him somewhere safe,” Zoey says, standing up. “Let’s take him to the Talon. It’s at least more comfortable there.”

~*~

“I can’t believe I passed out,” Byron says, finishing a bite of chocolate cake. Once they had made it back to the Talon, Byron had woken up. Zoey had made up an ice pack and gotten him a piece of cake while Clark just silently watched.

“I’m sorry I scared you,” Clark says.

“It’s okay, Clark. You were protecting a beautiful young lady. It was chivalrous. You’re lucky to have a boyfriend who cares so much about you.”

“No, no, no, no, no,” Zoey laughs, shaking her head. “No. No. Clark is like my annoying younger brother. He tries to be the overprotective brother type. But no. I don’t have a boyfriend.”

“If I could write the beauty of your eyes and number all your graces the age to come would say this poet lies. Such heavenly touches ne’er touched earthy faces.”

Zoey smiles. “That was beautiful.” Byron shoots her a shy, thankful smile.

Clark, who had resisted at rolling his eyes, looks at Byron. “Which poet wrote that?”

Byron glances at him. “Shakespeare.”

“So, you’re homeschooled,” Zoey says, shooting him another smile. “That’s something that I can’t imagine doing. Or the fact that you don’t get to hang out with anyone.”

Byron shrugs. “You don’t miss what you never had.”

Clark notices the scars around Byron’s wrists. “Sounds like you don’t get out much. Uh, are you parents pretty strict?”

“They only want what’s best for me.”

Zoey frowns when she hears a vehicle outside. “Fuck. That’s the milk delivery. It always gets here super early.”

A startled look appears on Byron’s face. “What time is it?”

“Quarter to five,” Clark answers, glancing at his watch.

“If my parents wake up…” Byron trails off as he runs out of the Talon.

“Wait, Byron, we’ll give you a ride,” Zoey tells him, running after him. Byron looks between her and Clark, who nods in agreement. “You’ll get home a lot faster.” Byron nods and the three of them climb into the Kent’s red pick up truck.

The drive is silent with Byron giving directions every once in a while. They pull up to a house and Zoey raises an eyebrow. It appeared to be in decent shape, but the ‘no trespassing’ and ‘keep out’ signs caused Zoey and Clark to exchange a concerned look. “Do you want us to come in and tell your parents what happened,” Clark asks.

“No, I’ll be fine,” Byron says and runs out of the truck. They watch as he runs up to the house. His mother was wearing a bathrobe, ushering him inside. Byron’s dad walks out, carrying a shot gun.

Zoey climbs out of the truck and runs up to the house, knowing that Clark was right behind her. “Byron,” she calls out. They reach the porch as Byron’s mother ushers him into the house.

Byron’s father aims the shot gun at them. “I’d better not catch you around my son again,” he warns. “Now, get out before I shoot you for trespassing.” Clark grabs Zoey’s arm and leads her back to the truck.

“Clark, we have to do something,” Zoey tells him, climbing into the truck.

Clark puts the truck into reverse and backs out of the driveway. “We’ll talk to dad. He’ll know what to do.”

~*~

Jonathan’s idea was to call the sheriff and pay a visit to the Moore house. The visit hadn’t gone well. Byron’s parents had claimed that he was dead and had accused Zoey and Clark of playing a cruel practical joke on them. Ethan, the sheriff and a long time friend of Jonathan’s, had been convinced to get a search warrant. Zoey and Clark had gone to Chloe to see if she could help dig up information on Byron. “It looks like your tortured artist is an unfortunate member of the dead poets society,” Chloe says, grabbing the death certificate she had printed out. “The certificate of death was signed by Dr. Emil Jenkins.”

Zoey takes the paper. “This has to be fake. If Byron is dead, then we’re all dead.”

“Not that I do’t trust your judgment, Zoey, but could it be possible that goth boy maybe is—”

“A fucking ghost could finish three pieces of chocolate cake and two cappuccinos,” she interrupts.

Chloe smiles. “I like this new Zoey. She needs to say around and help me annoy Clark by swearing too much. Anyway, I was just checking. I mean, this is Smallville. Well, I ran Dr. Jenkins’ name through the computer and found out something very interesting.” Chloe stands up and walks over to a different to grab her bag. “Eight years ago, he supervised a medical trail over at Metron Pharmaceuticals.”

“Let me guess, Byron was a participant,” Clark asks.

“Yeah, they were all kid who had exhibited antisocial behavior.”

Zoey frowns as they walk out of the Torch’s office. “Byron is way too sweet.”

“Could it be that our new Shakespeare has a stirred the heart of our young Juliet?”

“It’s nice to meet someone here,” Zoey argues. “Anyway, I think we should go look for Byron.”

Clark shakes his head. “No, we should wait to see what the sheriff finds.”

~*~

Clark, of course, didn’t listen to the advice he had given Zoey. He and Pete had went over to the Moore house to search for Byron. Clark, in wanting to help Byron, had actually learned Byron’s secret. The experiments that were conducted on him as a kid caused him to grow strong when sunlight hit him. His face would change and scars appeared down his back. Pete received a broken arm after Byron had thrown him into a car windshield. Zoey had learned all of this after visiting Pete in the hospital.

Clark walks into the Talon to find Zoey behind the counter, organizing the pastry display. “Zoey—”

“You know, I visited Pete earlier,” Zoey snaps. “Thanks for telling me. Byron’s my friend and you didn’t even tell me what you were doing. I wanted to help.”

“I didn’t want you to get hurt,” Clark argues.

“Oh, so, Pete can hurt, but not me,” Zoey counters. “I am not a porcelain doll that needs to be protected.”

“You haven’t seen Bryon, have you?”

“No.”

“Okay, so I think I figured out why our would be Shakespeare went all pro wrestler on you,” Chloe says, walking up to them with a file in her hand.

“What did you find,” Zoey asks while Clark takes the file.

“Um, well, the drug that Byron was given during the medical trails targeted his adrenal system.”

“It says here they were looking for a cure,” Clark summarizes. “We need to track down the company.”

“It’s too late, Metron Pharmaceuticals was shut down before they even finished their research.”

“I know where I’ve heard that name before,” Zoey suddenly says. “It’s own by LuthorCorp.” She grabs her peacoat and Clark’s arm. “Let’s go.”

“Zoey—” Clark begins.

“I know where you sleep and have access to a ton of cow shit,” Zoey snaps. “Do you really want to test me right now?”

Clark sighs. “Don’t get too close to him. If you find him, call someone.”

~*~

The first and only place that Zoey looked was the cemetery. She figured that if Byron had a death certificate, then he probably had a grave. Her intuition is right when she finds him sitting in front of the headstones. “Bryon,” Zoey softly says, walking over to him. She holds out her hands. “It’s just me, Zoey. I want to help you.”

Byron turns to her. He wore a long, black trench coat and black pants. His face is different. Zoey is reminded of the vampires on Buffy the Vampire Slayer. “I was down there for eight years,” Byron says, standing up and walking over to her. “I’m not going back.”

Zoey stares at him. “You could hurt people. And the Byron that I met, the Byron that I’ve gotten to know, wouldn’t want that. LuthorCorp did this to you. And Clark is talking to Lex. I’m going to talk to Lex too. They can find a cure.”

“There is no cure,” Byron argues, grabbing her arms.

“Byron, let go of me.”

“I want you.” Zoey yanks out of his grasp. “They made me into someone no one can love. Not even you.”

“That’s not true,” Zoey tells him. But Byron doesn’t hear her. He shoves back. Zoey stumbles and falls down, hitting her head on a tombstone.

~*~

Zoey sits down at a table in the Talon with the padded envelope she had gotten in the mail earlier that day. She had been okay, just a bump on the head. Byron was in the hospital getting treatment and Martha had convinced Lionel fund the research into Byron’s condition. She opens the envelope and pulls out the contents. It was a small canvas and a card.

‘Saw this and thought you might like it.’

Zoey instantly recognized the familiar scrawl. The painting was of a white mask, one that only covered half of the face, with a red rose on a black ground.

“Who is that from?”

Zoey glances over her shoulder to see Lex. She shoots him a smile. “A friend.”

In sleep he sang to me In dreams he came That voice that calls to me and speaks my name And do I dream again for now I find The Phantom of the Opera is there Inside my mind

Sing once again with me Our strange duet My power over you grows stronger yet And though you turn from me to glance behind The Phantom of the Opera is there Inside your mind

[chestnutpost]

How I Learned To Deal With Panic Attacks At Work — And You Can Too

This post was originally published on this site

During the middle of an ordinary work day, I began to die. Or at least it felt like it, because I was having a panic attack. My throat closed up, my heart rate spiked, and my breathing quickened as I struggled to regain control of my body, sure that death was imminent.

It felt both silly and not silly that the fear of not getting enough air would panic me so much, I would cry about it in the privacy of a bathroom stall, then have to leave work early to go see a doctor, who would clear me as healthy. After the episode passed, I felt defective, wondering what caused the malfunction. I was getting enough air. My heartbeat was normal. My lungs were perfectly operational. But the panic attack destabilized my sense of what was normal.

It wasn’t the first time I experienced a sudden, intense fear for my life for no rational reason. The waves of panic first crashed over me in the months I was unemployed after a layoff. Even after I got a new job, it persisted. The anxiety settled into my bones and made a home there. I no longer trusted myself, so I no longer trusted my body, jumping to the worst conclusion each time a thought misfired in my mind: “You’re not getting enough air, your heart rate is too high, you’re dying, run, get out of the office.” While my co-workers were typing around me, getting work done, I was alone in a life-or-death match with my body.

These panic attacks cost me my time and productivity. I would disrupt my work under deadline to walk outside to a nearby garden and pace among trees until I could prove to myself that my body was fine. What is debilitating about panic attacks is that once you have one, you can develop a fear of them happening again. The shame isolated me and prevented me from asking for help. I did not want my boss or co-workers to see me as unreliable, so I kept these episodes of panic to myself.

It took trial and error, a good therapist, self-help books and time to retrain my brain to trust my body again. Making peace with myself is a process I am still refining, and it’s one panicked people everywhere can learn too, whether they experience panic on a clinical level or through an occasional sense of acute dread. Here are the expert-backed tips I learned that I would share with my anxious self and anyone who feels creeping panic at work.

1. Focus your breathing

Focused breathing centers our bodies when we are being hijacked by a surge of panic. Research has linked breathing to lower stress levels and reduced negative anxiety and emotions.

But being told to just breathe can be less helpful when you feel short of breath at your desk. Try long, slow breaths as you feel the symptoms of panic rise, said Maryland-based clinical psychologist Monique Reynolds of the Center for Anxiety and Behavior Change.

She recommended breathing in for a count of four, then breathing out for a count of six to slow your heart rate and breathing, which in turn activates the parasympathetic nervous system. During a panic attack, our body’s fight-or-flight response is turned on, releasing adrenaline and increasing heart rate and breathing to enable the body to fend off or flee a perceived threat. Breathing slowly tells the body we can let our guard down.

“We want to activate the brake system, the parasympathetic system,” Reynolds said. “A long slow breath is a really good way to do that. It cues our whole system that we are safe, there’s no danger here.”

2. Confront the panic head-on

Once we’re in the full throes of a panic attack, we may experience physical symptoms that accompany overwhelming sudden fear, like shaking, heart palpitations, chest pains, difficulty breathing, lightheadedness and paralyzing terror, according to the American Psychological Association.

These symptoms can be scary, but instead of shying away from the body’s discomfort, people should accept their circumstances to make the panic attack shorter. “Anxiety needs avoidance to really function,” Reynolds said. “The moment we start saying, ‘Oh, my God, this can’t happen now. I can’t have this panic attack. This is the worst time ever,’ then you’re in trouble.”

It may seem counterintuitive, but the quickest way to move through to the other side of a panic attack is to confront the feelings directly, she said. “If you know that typically you have a rapid heart rate, you might say to yourself, ‘Bring it on. I know my heart is going to pound, I’m going to feel dizzy for a second, my hands are going to sweat,’” she said. “Part of it is really educating yourself on what are your symptoms of panic.”

In his book When Panic Attacks, psychiatrist David Burns recalls how he lessened his fear of blood after he was forced to be surrounded by it in an emergency room as a student. “Instead of avoiding the thing you fear, you intentionally expose yourself to it and flood yourself with anxiety,” he writes. “You don’t fight the anxiety or try to control it, you just surrender to it. Eventually the anxiety burns itself out and you’re cured.”

3) Get logical

During a panic attack, we can stop thinking logically. Signals from deeper regions of the brain like the hypothalamus and brain stem, which are involved in defense responses, can take over instead of being moderated by the prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for decisionmaking. You can put the logical part of your brain back in the driver’s seat with a few techniques.

Narrate your experience. Addressing panic means giving it language, even if it is just you narrating what you’re going through in your head. This narration can help get your brain’s reasoning parts back online when you are not thinking straight during a panic attack.

“When you’re having a panic attack, your prefrontal cortex that has all that logical, sequential thought ― the reasoning, rational brain ― actually goes offline,” Reynolds said.

Narration can include talking yourself through an attack in multiple ways. You can become curious about your feelings instead of afraid of them. Noticing the world outside yourself or writing down how you feel can help accomplish that.

Take five. If you’re in the middle of a panic attack, unable to speak, one thing you can do to re-engage the rational brain is to focus on other sensations. Look around the room and find five things of a certain color, then listen for four different sounds, touch three textures, smell two things and taste one thing, Reynolds recommended. “The process of engaging your senses and focusing on sensory information pushes your brain back into engaging your prefrontal cortex,” she said.

Write it down. If panicking at work happens with any frequency or with known triggers, she recommended writing down self-coaching reminders on index cards to cue your logical side.

These statements should not be blanket reassurances like “You’re going to be fine” but positive statements you can believe in, such as “This feeling is uncomfortable, but it is not dangerous” or “I can handle difficulty,” Reynolds said.

Journaling how you feel before or after a panic attack can also help you notice what may be beneath those intense feelings of panic. Chloe Carmichael, a New York City–based clinical psychologist, recommended that people first confirm with a medical doctor that they are healthy and then use techniques like journaling to uncover the hidden emotions driving the panic.

“If you really do feel you’re having sudden, intense emergencies over your feelings, then it may be a sign you need to connect with your feelings more frequently so they don’t have to reach fever pitch to get your attention,” she said.

For people who avoid their emotions until they burst out in a panic attack, documenting what happened during the day can be a useful way to use language to calm down, feel in control and understand what prompts panicky fear. “In a very simple way, write down what was your high point and your low point of the day,” Carmichael said.

4. Connect with someone

During one frantic walk outside my office, I called my dad and felt my heart rate slow at the sound of his familiar voice. I no longer felt helpless, and knowing that support was a phone call away kept me going and enabled me to finish the workday.

Too many of us keep quiet about what is happening when we start to panic at work. A panic attack can be an isolating event, especially in a workplace where you may not feel comfortable sharing this vulnerability with your colleagues.

“There’s this sense of secrecy that tends to inflame the situation,” Reynolds said.

Seeking our support structures takes away secrecy’s isolating power and can put us back in control of our situations. “Instead of just being reactive, which is just running to the bathroom to catch your breath, you can be proactive by noticing in advance that you’re feeling on edge and could use some support,” Carmichael said. Texting or emailing friends or family members to see if they can chat during your lunch break or arranging to meet up with someone after work can be ways to call on your support, she said.

5. Identify your workplace triggers

After a panic attack, where it happened can become a source of dread. If the workplace becomes a place of panic-inducing stress, reflect on the triggers to see what can be changed about the situation.

“It’s really important to start using really descriptive language on what exactly about your office was so stressful that you ended up reacting this way,” Carmichael said. Ask yourself if it was your office environment or if the source is your field of work in general, social dynamics in your office or that you need to learn how to communicate more assertively about your workload, she said.

Even if you do not experience panic attacks specifically, knowing how you can address workplace stress is useful.

Unfortunately, addressing workplace stress and anxiety that you cannot avoid can be difficult. “It becomes a problem when the thing that your brain wants to avoid is also the thing that allows you to pay rent,” said Mary Poffenroth, a San Jose University researcher and lecturer on fear.

She said people can think about the central trigger for that workplace panic so they can talk with leadership on what can be adjusted. “Was it an individual person? Was it the overall culture? Was it a project? Was it a particular thing, like presenting?” she said. Then you can arrive at “some creative ways to deliver on what that need is but not do that thing that you know is going to send you into a tailspin.”

Panic happens to many of us

I am not the only person who has experienced embarrassing panic in a most inconvenient setting like an office, and I will not be the last. It’s estimated that 6 million American adults live with panic disorder, which comes with frequent attacks, and many more experience attacks less often. If you are huffing and pacing outside your office to get through the workday, if you need to take a break to call your parents to cope under a deadline, if you are slowly counting out breaths at your desk, know that there are many supportive people out there and that tools like the ones above can help.

If this is affecting your everyday life to the point that you can’t function, it’s worth seeing a mental health professional to get to the bottom of what’s going on. You deserve to be able to live a normal, productive life both in and out of the office.

The post How I Learned To Deal With Panic Attacks At Work — And You Can Too appeared first on The Chestnut Post.

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[ouraidengray4]

Breakups Suck—Here are 6 Ways to Move On

Whether you've just pulled the plug on a relationship or your former paramour has ripped your broken, still-beating heart straight from your chest, mixed metaphors aren't helping the fact that breakups suuuuck.

It's amazing that for all the dating books and apps out there, there are so few guides for what to do when things don't work out. But know that you're not alone in wondering how to get over an ex and move on with your life—and this can be your place to begin.

1. Don't avoid the grieving process.

It's totally normal to feel like someone died when you're getting over a very meaningful romantic relationship. When she discusses breakup recovery, Fran Walfish, Psy.D., a Beverly Hills family and relationship psychotherapist, even refers to Elisabeth Kübler-Ross's famous five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. That's why Walfish suggests you deal with the pain head-on.

EDITOR'S PICK

"If you distract yourself, you're feeding the denial, and that's not helpful," Walfish says. "Allow yourself to feel anything genuine that comes up and do not censor."

There's also real value in allowing yourself those good, long crying jags. "Tears contain cortisol, so when you cry, you really are literally getting it out," says Chloe Carmichael, Psy.D., author of Dr. Chloe's 10 Commandments of Dating.

2. Relieve your pain.

Although it may sound odd, relationship pain isn't just metaphorical—you may be able to treat it as you would a physical ache.

"I've seen some studies that have shown that taking Tylenol in the early stages can help because some of the same pain receptors that are activated by physical pain can also be activated by the emotional kind," Carmichael says.

Massage, which has also been shown to reduce levels of that stress hormone cortisol, is another way to potentially ease your pain. "One thing that we miss when we go through a breakup is being touched and held, having this positive human contact," Carmichael says. "A massage isn't the same as a romantic experience, but it is a positive, intimate, compassionate form of touch that can really help people."

3. Reach out to friends and family.

Besides just listening to you cry (and rage) about your ex, the right people can do two things for you at this crucial period: Keep you company and—after the first wave of grief—distract you from your ex.

Carmichael suggests you tell your friends what's up and ask them to help you out by having someone come around every day of the week (or whatever amount of people-time is comfortable for you).

"I've even had clients who wanted to have a friend stay over with them for a night or two, especially if they were going through a breakup with someone they used to live with," she says. But make sure these are people who will add some positive energy to your life, Carmichael says—the last thing you need is someone who might bring you down further.

"Gravitate toward people who will just listen compassionately without telling you what to do," Walfish says. You may be surprised to find that you don't need to avoid your friends who are coupled up, however. "A lot of happily married couples will take you under their wing, invite you as a third, and won't care that you don't have a fourth partner."

If revealing your vulnerabilities to friends is hard, or if you're concerned that this breakup is part of a pattern, therapy may be a good alternative to see you through this period. "You might give yourself a safe and supportive space that doesn't carry any other emotional baggage with it by seeing a professional," Carmichael says.

4. Unfriend the ex.

It can be particularly tricky to get over someone you work with and still have to see every day, or someone whose friend group overlaps with your own.

EDITOR'S PICK

"It's almost like a dieter who is working in a bakery��it's very tempting," Carmichael says. But it's up to you to remove yourself from that temptation in the most polite way possible. Explain to your ex that, though you like and respect them, you will be doing your best to be distant and cordial. You can say, "Since we can't be together, I need to try to have some really strong boundaries."

That goes for social media too. If you're trying to get over someone you love, you don't need all of your devices bringing their name and face to the forefront of your brain all day long. Don't let the fear of offending your ex stop you from hitting "unfriend."

Explain to your ex that, though you like and respect them, you will be doing your best to be distant and cordial.

"You can send a note explaining that this is not anything hostile; in fact, you like the person very much, and this is just helpful for you as you try to move forward," Carmichael says.

5. Distract yourself.

After a period of grief, you can try to be proactive about digging yourself out of those wallowing depths and living life as though you don't care about the ex—even if you do (and of course you do).

"Go to movies, dinners, restaurants, theater, museums, go to the spa, get out of your environment, go on vacations," Walfish advises. Not only does this get you unstuck from your rut, but it also sets you up for the next step "because you're more desirable when you're busy, and you have a lot going for you."

As much as heartbreak might turn you into a champion binge-watcher, you can also try to get up and do things while bingeing on audiobooks and podcasts. "An audiobook can actually help you to feel less alone, and you can have a positive message running in the background, even if you're not paying super-close attention to it," Carmichael says.

6. Find your rebound.

While "rebound" can sound like a pejorative term, we all know someone who found epic love right after a breakup. (Raises hand.) Whether you're truly looking for the next candidate or not, Carmichael says there is value to putting your profile back up on dating sites.

"There's nothing wrong with setting up a profile and starting to accrue the attention of some other people who might be noticing you," she says. "There's no law that says you have to respond to people right away. Being on a dating site can make you feel better about yourself and reminds you of the reality, which is that there's a whole big world out there full of people who would like to meet you."

When you are ready to jump back into the game—either for a fling or something deeper—be as self-aware as possible. Walfish warns: "I think it's wise to take your time and choose wisely and carefully. It decreases the chances of repeating the same mistakes that got you in trouble the first time."

Exactly how long does it take to get over someone?

Don't stress out about reaching some sort of time limit on this. There is no right answer.

"It's so different for everyone," Walfish says. "It depends how much of your heart and soul you gave and how long it takes you to heal. I don't think the answer is easy or tangible. You just have to know yourself well."

Sabrina Rojas Weiss lives in Brooklyn, surrounded by her fellow freelance writers and competitive stroller-pushers. Follow her on Twitter @shalapitcher.

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[phffexhale]

Chapter One

Chloe Grace Harper was in another meeting about another movie deal.  It seemed as though she was getting more and more offers and deals by the day after she was in a romance movie called Remember.  It was her biggest hit yet.  It was full of emotion and drama right after the next as her character was in a car accident and she had to remember everything about her.  Everything about what happened before that fateful night where she lost her memory.  Her long-term boyfriend of over two years and she found out he was cheating on her which lead her to the accident.  It was then that she met Noah Carmichael, the guy who saved her and helped her remember.

After that offers were flooding in.  Everyone was wanting her to star in their movie.  And yet, she politely turned down every offer.  She didn't want to be handed a role where others had worked so hard far.  She wanted to earn it, not have it handed to her on a silver platter.  Her manager, Lisa Vanderbilt, thought she was out of her mind crazy.  Anyone who was in their right mind would never turn down a role that could help boost their career.  Especially America's Sweetheart.  

The headlines had graced her with that title after seeing how she was with her fans and in interviews.  She never turned down an opportunity to take pictures with fans or sign autographs.  It was just the kind of person she was.

She was in another meeting with her manager.  Staring at the wall with a picture of the Prada Marfa sign that was shown in the television show, Gossip Girl.

"I wanted to run something by you that came across to us in the office just a couple of days ago," Lisa told Chloe with a smile on her face.

"Okay."

"I know you want to get more involved with charity work and there is an offer to help children."

"I'm listening."

"It's called the WellChild.  They are located in the UK and they make it possible for children and young people with exceptional health needs to be cared for at home instead of a hospital, wherever possible."

"When is the next date that they are getting together?"

Chloe was genuinely interested in the charity.  She always loved that thought of giving back to others.  To help those in need.  

"The date for it will be September 2015.  They give out awards to the children and it's apparently quite a big event.  There are quite a few other celebrities involved in the charity as well.  The only problem is that it’s in Britain.”

 “Why is that a problem?  It sounds perfect.”

 “It’s a problem because a couple of days before that you have your big photoshoot for Elle Magazine.  You know that I scheduled you with a year ago?”

 That was the problem with getting more famous and more offers, she never had time to do the things that she wanted to do.  But she loved being a part of magazine shoots.  She loved the process of it all.  She loved having makeup being put on her by the makeup artists.  She loved being able to see the final pictures.

 When she was just starting out with modeling, she had been terrified.  Not knowing what pose to do and she felt like an idiot sometimes for how completely unnatural she felt.  But as she got more comfortable with modeling and all the different poses that different photographers had her do, she began to really love it.

 “Yeah, but can’t I still go to the WellChild Awards?  I mean there’s a two-day gap where I can use that as traveling.  I mean I have no problem with that if you don’t.”

 “Alright,” Lisa told her with reluctance.  “Let me check to see if there is any availability for flights really quick.”

 Lisa pulled up the schedules for the flights that were going out that weekend and as luck would have it, there was one seat left that was leaving the night Chloe got done with her magazine shoot.  Lisa knew this would be a lot for Chloe to take in.  It was a long flight over from California and with the exhaustion she would have from the photoshoot and then jetlag.  But she also knew how bad Chloe wanted this.  She couldn’t say no.  She couldn’t tell her how she really felt.  

She knew that she was just lucky enough to have this job.  After all, she was the one working for Chloe.  Not the other way around.  

Lisa went ahead and booked the flight going out to the UK at five in the afternoon.

 “I booked you for the flight heading out at five.  Since your shoot is in the morning and ends at one, it should give you enough time to pack and drive to LAX.”

 “Thank you so much, Lisa.  Really. I appreciate it.”

It was the day of her photoshoot with ELLE Magazine.  As soon as she woke up, she took a shower afterwards eating oatmeal and whole wheat toast for breakfast.  She dressed in her comfiest clothes which were a pair of sweat pants and a t-shirt.  

 She knew by now not to have her hair and makeup done before them so she left with her apartment with a pair of black Céline sunglasses covering her eyes.  ELLE magazine was nice enough to have a limo car service pick her up from her place and drive her to the exact location.  

 Never being a morning person, her manager Lisa, had bought her an iced coffee from Starbucks.

As she sipped her iced coffee, feeling more awake and refreshed Lisa started giving her the rundown of the day.

 “Right when we get in the building, they are going to take you over to sit down in the makeup chair and work on your hair and makeup.  After that they will give you the clothes you need to change into.  You’ll do any poses they tell you to do and then you’ll take an hour break.  In that time, they will look over all the pictures and decide if there needs to be any retakes.”

She knew the process.  It was the same as every other photoshoot she had done but she knew that Lisa did it to make her feel better, like she was doing something that day.  

 That was something else about Lisa that Chloe had seemed to notice.  She always had to be doing something.  Even on days when she wasn’t really needed.  

She didn’t mind it though.  In a lot of ways, she had to admire Lisa for it.  It showed how much she truly cared about her job and wanting to do the best she could.  

 As they pulled up to the building where they would be doing the photoshoot she right away noticed paparazzi on the sidewalk.  Waiting for her.  Like they were vultures ready to attack.  Ready to get any picture they could of her for their next pay check.  

She could hear the clicking of the cameras but she was thankful that they didn’t shout anything to her as she made her way into the building with her manager right behind her.  

It was a hot day in Los Angeles reaching up to one-hundred and ten degrees already and it was only the morning.  She was thankful for the gush of air conditioning that hit her as soon as she walked in.

They entered the elevator and Lisa pressed the button for the second floor as soon as the doors closed.  When it dinged letting them know they made it to their destination, the doors opened allowing the duo to walk out.  Chloe took off her sunglasses as they walked further into the room that she would be in all morning long.

Straight away she was lead to the makeup chair with a team of stylists at her beck and call. Wanting to make sure she was happy and comfortable because they all knew that they would be there a long time. She knew the team she would be working with today.  A guy named Finn was her hair stylist and Megan was her makeup artist for the day.

She had to do pose after pose.  All of this for one good picture.  But she didn’t mind.  She could feel the makeup brushes on her face as they gave her a nice airbrushed look. Adding blush to the apples of her cheeks and the curling irons twisting her hair in curls.  Although her hair was naturally curly, they wanted it done a specific way.  

 Finally finished with her look she looked into the handheld mirror they handed her to see the finished product and she told them she loved it.  This wasn’t the first time she had worked with ELLE Magazine. Every time she loved working them.

 The people were so much fun to be around and they made it easy.  She was able to be herself and she loved that.  

“Chloe, were ready for you!” The photographer, whose name was Mario, shouted for her as they finished up with the lighting and setting up the fan they needed in case they wanted the effect of her hair blowing in the wind.  

 Chloe finished with the last-minute details of her outfit with the assistants getting a lint roller and making sure that there wasn’t any visible.  

“For the first couple of poses just be natural.  Do what you normally would,” Mario instructed her.  

 She did as she was told and did natural poses.  She laughed and smiled that dazzling smile.  Some with a hand on her hip.

 “Perfect, darling!  Now Finn, can you bring her hair all to one side and have a few curls left on the other? Thanks Finn.  Alright now Chloe I want you to have your body be sideways and have your right hand on your hip along with turning your head to the right facing me and don’t smile.  Yes, like that!”

Chloe was wearing a white top that was almost like a halter as it went around her neck. She had a big ring on her right hand and was just feeling relaxed.  She had worked with ELLE three other times in her career and each time the team had been attentive to her needs, a nice atmosphere with music in the background and healthy food for lunch.  The people she was working with were also a plus.

They had been working for two hours already and she was starving.

 As they had been waiting as Mario checked the pictures once over, Chloe walked over to the table that was full of fruit, muffins, bagels, and donuts.

 Chloe grabbed a plate along with some fruit, a cinnamon sugar bagel from Panera and spread cream cheese on it.  Panera’s bagels were her all-time favorite and she loved that the people who worked at ELLE Magazine always seemed to remember that.

 “I think we’re good for the day but can we just get a few more shots just in case Chelsea doesn’t like it?” Mario asked Chloe as she finished eating her bagel.

  “Yeah, sounds good to me,” Chloe answered with a smile.

Chloe was at LAX airport and her knee was bouncing up and down in excitement.  She had never been to Great Britain before and she was looking forward to this new adventure.  

 She wouldn’t be taking a private plane because she wanted to experience this like any regular person would, except she was able to get first class.

 She was recognized in the airport and fans of hers came up to her asking for a picture or an autograph.  She never liked to turn down a fan and when she did because she had to move on she would always be upset and feel awful about it knowing she wasn’t able to make someone’s night.  

 For this trip though she had no body guard and no manager with her.  She could do whatever she wanted and not be on a time limit, at least until the end of her trip which she would be staying there for two weeks.  She also wanted to site see while she was there seeing as she had never been.

 This was a new adventure.

[fountainpenguin]

What's ur favorite Fairly OddParents episode finale

I’m not sure if you meant this question as “what’s my favorite ending of any episode” or “which episode do I prefer to end a watch of the series with,” so I’ll answer the latter because I don’t know about the former.

I personally think “Timmy’s Secret Wish” is a good one to end with. It’s a big special that answers a lot of questions, cameos a lot of characters, and wraps up a lot of plot threads. What more could you ask for? Plus if it’s your final episode, the viewer gets to decide whether the Fairy Council returned Timmy’s fairies only temporarily or permanently, so we can all have our headcanons for his future and don’t feel frustrated that either a “sad” ending or a “wrapped-up-with-a-bow” ending was shoved in our face, depending on individual taste. Pretty cool.

“Meet the OddParents” is my second choice. This is the episode Timmy outs his godparents to his actual parents and has one great day with both his families together before Jorgen separates them. Timmy gets to have an awesome “last day” and his parents finally understand their kid. They’re grateful he’s being taken care of… and they beg Jorgen to wipe their memories instead of taking Timmy’s godparents away. Jorgen relents, warning them he’s only doing this because he’s in a good mood. After his parents’ memories are wiped, Timmy realizes he hasn’t been good at making wishes for them, and decides to be better about helping others. This is also an episode where, if it’s your last one, you as the viewer get to decide whether Cosmo and Wanda stay with Timmy forever or just a while longer. It’s a nice, touching family episode and doesn’t feel cheesy!

If we want to pick a Season 10 episode, “Summer Bummer” is a nice one that bookends Chloe’s plot arc. She started the series as a lonely, paranoid kid who intensely focused on schoolwork and could only convince people to hang out with her if she bribed them. At the end of “Summer Bummer” she realizes she’s been forcing herself to grow up too fast and that it’s okay to let herself goof off with friends and be a kid, which I think is perfect character development.

It’s disappointing that FOP had to taper off so sadly and quietly after running for like two decades. I wish we could have had a big finale episode where Timmy truly says good-bye to Cosmo and Wanda and gives them over to Chloe (or any other new godkid). Lately I’ve been playing with a maybe-canon maybe-AU ‘fic called “The Carmichael Project” that would have a scene sort of like this… I’ve been planning it for years and we’ll see if I ever get around to sharing it!

[carmichael-psychology]

How to Drink Moderately

New York City is a city that loves to drink.  We meet friends for happy hours, we eat at business dinners where a sommelier serves amazing wine, we go to trendy lounges that serve artisanal cocktails,  we attend networking events with open bars, and many of us love a nice quiet drink with a delicious meal and a lively social scene seated at a restaurant bar.  The beauty of it is that for many of us, all this drinking actually leads to great things: successful business dinners, mingling with new and interesting people, a sense of relaxation that happens effortlessly as alcohol immediately creates a mild euphoria that makes us open up, laugh more, and shuts off our incessant internal monologue. Alcohol has clear benefits for many of us, both personally and professionally.

The benefits of alcohol lead many of us drink so frequently that it can become habitual.  There is nothing inherently wrong with drinking habitually, but many clients who come to my office indicate that they would prefer to be in control of their habit rather than feel as if the habit has taken on an inertia of its own.  It is very important to note that this is different from alcoholism or addiction to alcohol. The distinction I’m making here is that with an addiction, we tend to think of drinking away our last dollar, drinking that leads to arrests or hospital visits, or other forms of drinking that clearly suggest our normal standards of safety and personal responsibility have been severely compromised due to a desire for alcohol; those types of relationships with alcohol are generally best classified and treated as addictions.  I do not treat addictions to alcohol- my practice is limited to situations where a person’s alcohol use is perfectly safe and more habit-based than addiction-based; I work with clients who are not alcoholics but simply people who want to increase their sense of purpose and control around the way they drink. Here is how many people in my practice have done this successfully:

Decide to build your awareness: Commit to observe your drinking without trying to change your habits, at least at first. Before we can really try to change something, it’s often helpful to just observe it. This helps us to set realistic goals, and to understand our drinking patterns and triggers more fully than we might if  we paid attention to alcohol only a) to drink it, or b) to control it. The idea here is to pay attention and study your drinking from a neutral, information-gathering, curiosity-based mindset before you attempt any significant efforts to change it.  Once you’ve made a commitment to observe your drinking, here’s one way to do it:

Define your observation field: Mindfulness meditation often involves choosing something to observe and then observing it for a set period of time.  This builds our observation and awareness skills, and frees us to delve into the observations without second guessing ourselves with questions like “Should I stop yet?  Have I observed long enough? I wonder if I’m doing this right?”. We can apply this to drinking observations in the following manner: For a predetermined amount of time (for example two weeks, two days, or whatever feels best for you), commit to observe your drinking in a neutral manner by noting down your drink counts.  Your goal here is to tabulate your drinking without attempting to change it. This is actually more difficult than it sounds for many people, so be gentle with yourself if you struggle with this step. Remember: the more familiar you are with basic information about your drinking and the more capable you are of observing it, the easier it will be for you to make whatever changes you desire.

Document your observations: Try to complete the log below for each day, making one entry per day.  If you forget or decline to make a same-day entry but still want to note the information later, put “No” in the “Same Day entry” column to indicate you are making a retroactive log.  Don’t judge yourself if you forget or decline to make a same day entry; just document that it happened if you wish to do so by making a retroactive log. You don’t have to do retroactive entries if you don’t want to do so; you can simply resume your log with your current day and let your log reflect that there are some missing days.   Or if you wish, you can make retroactive entries and simply indicate this with “No” per above. Part of the observation process includes observing your willingness or ability to indicate awareness of your drinking over a predetermined period of time. Many people find a two week period is a good length of time for an observation period, but you can choose whatever period of time feels best for you.

Date Same day entry? Enter “Yes” or “No” Count of drinks Are you estimating or did you count?  Enter “E” or “C”

What to do with your observations:

At the end of your observation period, you’ll not only have logged observations of drink counts, you’ll also be observing your overall drinking observation skills and patterns.  We call this “meta awareness” in psychology. It is a form of mindfulness. If you notice that you skipped a lot of days, you can become curious and try to understand why you’re skipping.  Is it because you simply forgot and would benefit from a reminder in your calendar?  Or maybe this means there is a part of you that doesn’t like the idea of observing drink counts?  Or maybe there is some other reason you tend to skip. The idea is to replace any forms of judgement with curiosity so that this becomes an exercise in self-compassion and self-observation rather than self-flagellation.  There are no “wrong” answers, only observations that help you get to know yourself better (caveat: as stated at the beginning, this is only true if you’re someone for whom alcohol does not lead to dangerous behavior- if alcohol is dangerous for you but you can’t quit, then please see an addiction specialist).

The goal is to sharpen your observation skills regarding drinking, so hopefully you will be able to enter more “C”s than “E”s in the last column documenting whether you’re estimating or counting your drinks for the day, but if you find that your log shows nearly all “Es” then welcome this as good information not only as an estimate of your drinks, but also as information about your observation skills or style.  Become curious about why you tend to estimate rather than count. If it’s because counting feels boring, remember that this is just an observation period that doesn’t have to last forever. If it’s because you feel ashamed or regretful about the count, try to be accurate anyway and congratulate yourself for increasing your awareness at all.

Remember to suspend judgement during the counting phase; be proud of yourself for being bold enough to note the real numbers or at least real estimates.  If facing the real numbers is too daunting, that’s good information for you to know as well. The idea here is just to document your observations as well as your willingness and ability to make observations.

Your drinking “sweet spot”

Dr. Chloe raising a glass for Carmichael Psychology’s

2015 holiday celebration

Once you have enough data, you can identify a “magic number” of your ideal number of drinks, or your “drinking sweet spot”.  Your ideal number of drinks for our purposes here is the number of drinks that brings you the most pleasure. Many people find that the first 2-3 drinks bring a great deal of pleasure, while the fourth and fifth (or sixth or seventh) drinks seem like they will bring pleasure but actually bring hangovers or regret.  If you’re reading this blog, chances are you’ve had some sort of experience with hangovers, oversharing, extra belly fat, or other features of drinking that you’d rather skip.  The good news is that you can keep the pleasurable parts of drinking and nix the negatives by simply stopping at your “magic number”. Of course, this is easier said than done– if you leave it to your “buzzed self” to decide the magic number “in the moment”, it will be much harder to find the sweet spot than if you track some observations to locate your magic number in a more logical manner, and then do your buzzed self a favor by learning to stick with that number.  Your buzzed self will actually have more fun and thank you later since it no longer has to do “on the spot thinking” about how much to drink.  Many people find that through observation, they discover they frequently drink one or two drinks more than what is actually their true pleasure point.  By reframing your drinking target as a “magic number” that is about your pleasure rather than as a “limit”, many people are able to embrace alcohol moderation as a friend rather than a foe.

Conclusion

Many people find that having a reference point of how much they wish to drink is very helpful since by definition if we “make it up as we go along” and just drink “however much feels right” then we almost always end up drinking more than we want over the years.  This is because we develop a tolerance, and because once we’ve had a few drinks it becomes very difficult to gauge how much more we really want to drink versus how much we’re just operating in a buzzed “more is more” type of mindset that can trick us into drinking more alcohol than is actually optimally pleasurable.  The first step to determining your magic number and then ultimately having drinking habits that support your magic number is to observe how much you’re drinking without judgement. I hope you will find the approach and worksheet above helpful.  Bottoms up and cheers to you!

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