#❃┊answers you seek┋(meme replies)

[herodies]

tag drop pt 2 !!

[adamworu]

‘When’s the White Haired Anime Boy Going to Appear?’

For awhile, I often wondered about the phenomena of ‘When is the white-haired anime boy going to appear?’ posts during the heyday of Eva content on tumblr (2013-14). If you were around the Eva fandom on tumblr, or new to the show around that time like I was, you were probably bewildered too. It’s part of what got me into the show other than the character struggles and interesting worldbuilding.

Sure, you could chalk it up to people wanting to see more of Kaworu’s cute, but awkward mannerisms coupled with cryptic, though nonthreatening words. The bath scene of episode 24 is heavily quotable. There was also the influx of ‘headless’ memes (see: Pop Goes My Heart!).

But Eva was watched during many people’s adolescent years. High and low years. Critical years.

Evangelion itself is no stranger to struggles in formative years.

(talks about abuse under the cut)

I’ve always read Shinji as an audience surrogate because of how he’s at the center of these issues. Many of us have a Gendo: We hate them, yet we seek their validation, because unfortunately, they’re all we have. And yet they’re so emotionally cold and self-serving. 

Much of the series sees Shinji in less than optimal environments. His father is cold and distant. While Misato takes him in, she also makes him (and Asuka) fight angels due to her issues with her own father. Shinji and Asuka’s relationship within the household isn’t the greatest, either. They’re both emotionally damaged kids who can’t really properly sort through the baggage due to their environment. They’re mainly shouldering the burden of adult issues during their early teen years. 

They’re face to face with the open horrors of war. 

Kaworu comes in toward the tail end of the series. He asks nothing of Shinji but the narrative hardly portrays him as the sudden, immaculate savior. They get to know each other, and due to his deep traumas, Shinji is of course wary because being open means getting hurt again. So he puts his guard up. The more they interact, the more they both get to know each other. 

‘Why am I telling all this to Kaworu?’

This is less of a wariness of who Kaworu is and more of Shinji realizing he spilled part of his heart about his strained relationship with his father. Shinji realizes that he feels open, but not vulnerable. Kaworu feels the same way, replying to Shinji’s answers with ‘I think I may have been born to meet you, Shinji-kun.’

I sound like a broken record saying this but, Kaworu isn’t just his own person. He represents an ideal. This is a point I’m totally partisan to. That tinges of kindness can and do exist, even when one’s world is hell. 

On that end, I believe that, at least in the original series, that Hikari is Asuka’s Kaworu. Asuka’s guarded persona manifests as being proud and somewhat brash, but it’s a product of neglect. This worsens when she comes to understand in her environment that her accomplishments mean next to nothing. That she’s replaceable. 

The adults in Eva, even the adults of the adults get away with murder and seeing that as a victim of abuse drives a visceral rage I haven’t felt in years. And I’m sure this ire, this rising embitterment stirs in you too, if you ever lived in such an environment.

A lot of us were forced to wade through toxic environments for years while growing up. Had our share of bad relationships that still leave marks to this day.  A lot of us are victims chasing the closure that will sadly, never come because many of the people who hurt you walk away when they have much to answer for. Even if they do answer, is there any guarantee that they’ll be genuine?

When Shinji is with Kaworu and when Asuka is around Hikari they’re far less guarded. For the latter, we see a side of Asuka not seen before: one that’s tender. One that doesn’t feel burdened and otherwise ignored.

And that too, could describe that someone in our lives. The world doesn’t feel as daunting. You realize your worth and that you can be yourself when you’re around them. The barriers come down slowly and you stop saying sorry. You don’t feel as if they’re demanding that that happens. It simply just. Does. The people you hate or ignore your grievances seem insignificant in your life, even if for a moment. 

When we ask ‘When’s the white haired anime boy going to appear?’ what we actually mean is ‘When is our support system going to appear?’

I know that one day you will find your Kaworu. You deserve better than an apology. You deserve peace.

[sleepyconfusedpotato]

Hello there! I hope you’re having a great day.

I’m here with a question. It’s rather simple, but still it keeps me awake at noght.

How do you start a blog? I have a ton of drawings and concepts hoarded over the years, but my ass does NOT know how to start (and my social anxiety is kicking me hard). It’s okay if you choose not to reply. I wish you a pleasant day regardless.

(I wanted to send you pictures to show you my appreciation, but I only found these instead. But I still mean my appreciation.)

Hello! I hope you have a great day as well! And thank you for the pictures :D it's deffo stored in my meme garden inside my folders.

Now, to answer your question, 'how do you start a blog?' Actually depends on what you want to do. Since you're asking me, I'd assume that you want to do an art blog (?). If that's the case, usually, just... post your drawings OvO... JUST KIDDING I know you're looking for a more comprehensive answer.

I'd say you don't need to care about the audience, but if you want to grow or ripe some engagements, then you need to know your audience.

My audience is mainly the Call of Duty fandom. I've done lots and lots of arts for the CoD fandom, especially during the start of my postings back in 2021. I did lots and lots of memes, funny comics, and I came up with my own OC, Jade. I drew A LOT, from her first meetings, her concept art, her involvement in the story, her own life outside of the CoD canon story, and more. I also did some Head Canons about the CoD canon characters. Back when I started, I was already blessed with the establishment of my own artstyle, so I'm fortunate enough to draw so many arts until now.

When you've drawn a lot, the audience/followers will 'label' you. It's just the way it is. I don't know how each individual labels me, but I'd imagine the general audience as a whole labels me as "the CoD artist who has an anime-esque style and posts about her OC Jade and funny ahh memes and comics, who never posts NSFW." Give your audience your own unique specialty and something different to offer.

Again, I don't know the purpose of why you'd like to start a blog, maybe just a hobby, just a place to pour your creativity in. However, personally, I'm an artist for hobby, but also an artist for my carreer. What I post every day adds to my own porfolio and for my potential clients to see, so that's why I need to grow it! I put a good amount of thoughts on what I draw, and also what the audience/my followers would like to see in my personal art style. From that, I started to make a masterlist of what I've done. My blog is my own gallery/museum, and masterlist is sort of like a guidebook for the visitors to navigate through my contents.

What I'm saying is, be yourself, be special, but also if you want to grow an audience, you kinda need cater to what the audience needs/wants to see! Make the people who sees your art become curious, and wants to know more about them. Post a lot, it'll take a long time until your audience grows, maybe months, maybe years, but hard work is always worth it in the end.

I don't know if this is the answer you seek, but again, do whatever you enjoy.

[eleonoraw]

hey queen! saw ur previous fic rec and i read all of em (so good!!) was wondering if u could do another bottom light fic rec? this one goes out to all my bottom light ppl! thank u in advance queen p.s. love ur fics so much abo lawlight is my fave haha 🫣❤️

Hello! ❤️ I'm glad you like my previous bottom Light fic rec list! I have some more recommendations, but I had to dig a little deeper into my history to find them, haha. I'm sure you will love these too then ;)

So here it is (titles, authors, and summaries with ratings) enjoy ;)

I'm yours (by PrismaRed) rating: mature

"You want meaningless sex? Then I have one condition," he hissed. Before L could reply, Light kissed him, savoring in the softness of L's lips and the sweetness on his tongue. "At least pretend to love me."

Light falls in love with L, but L doesn't want Light for anything more than his pretty face and body. They come to a deal of sorts, where "I love you" becomes a price to pay. DN Kink Meme fill.

Can't I top for once, L? (by yagafx) rating: not rated

Light has never topped before, L never lets him. It was no problem for Light at first, but now it started to annoy him. He wants to top too, at least for once.

Murphy's law (by yagafx) rating: mature

L and Light gets stuck in an elevator. L suggests having sex in order to get out of there because of Murphy's law.

Truth or drink (by yagafx) rating: mature

The famous couple L Lawliet and Light Yagami, known as L and Kira from the TV series called 'Death Note', was invited to play the game 'Truth or Drink' by the popular YouTube channel 'Cut'.

The couple are going to ask each other a set of random questions. They can either answer the question or take a shot.

Lipstick kisses (by Rachello344) rating: teen

In order to catch a notorious gangster, Light goes undercover--it turns out, he's the man's type. Now if only L can survive watching Light flirt with a man while he's looking... particularly attractive. He can only hope.

Fuck me (by ricehat) rating: explicit

L fucks Light what more is there to say :^)

(so basically Porn without plot :D )

Are We Going To Do This Again, Light? (by cantdoausername) rating: explicit

Yagami Light loses a bet and needs to give L his reward.

Syrup (by retroelectric) rating: explicit

Where L and B are detective brothers, Light works for them, and the brothers are interested in having Light to themselves.

(This is some L,BB, Light action ;)

vertigo (by crimesofhallowed) rating: explicit

Light finds L fascinating in the way a grade schooler might find dissecting a frog fascinating. He’s curious about what’s underneath the surface, the parts that make L tick a rhythm so off-beat even Light has to up his tempo, and how it all fits together into one, disordered, semi-cohesive whole. He wants to understand, but there’s no love there. A frog is more useful dead than alive under a scalpel.

Or: Light is certain L will be dead soon, and decides to make use of him one last time. He gets a little more out of it than he bargained for.

Seeking his hand (by magic_mind) rating: explicit

Soichiro asks: "Why do you want to marry my son?"

L stares at him for a moment, then sighs almost imperceptibly. "It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife. …or husband."

A historical regency-esque romance AU in which L seeks Light's hand in marriage. And that's only the beginning.

(fic is not finished, I hope the author will come back to it one day)

Lawlight Tumblr Not-Quite-Drabbles (by magic_mind) rating: explicit

A collection of prompt fills...some explicit, some fluffy, some from the SHH-verse, some not...still being updated!

[your-sweet-cookies]

🌈💻🌼🎙️📚🎀🥇📌🏆

𝑺𝑯𝑶𝑼𝑻-𝑶𝑼𝑻𝑺 𝑶𝑭 𝑨𝑾𝑬𝑺𝑶𝑴𝑬𝑵𝑬𝑺𝑺.

🌈 ― aesthetically pleasing blog

@prosopagn0sis - I always adored how Softie designed the layout of its blogs (be it its main or its RP blog), so it's definitely an ace when it comes to aesthetically pleasing blogs!

@kuinaoflight - There's something about how Elle knows how to choose the best quotes or images to adorn her Kuina RP blog with, that makes it simply amazing! This, along with the calming color pallet she's chosen for the background and text, make her blog a delight to look at and explore!

@hinataxsunshine - I always found Adrian's blog to be one of the nicest/cutest blogs ever! It just has something about it that speaks innocence and serenity, which fits perfectly the vibe of his OC, Hinata.

💻 ― excellent writing

@niragixpsych - Although she doesn't think her writing is any good if you ask her, Psych's talent in writing surpasses most expectations with the amount of thought and care she puts into every interaction. It's a true delight and pleasure to write with her and her blog is one I'll always recommend with the utmost happiness!

@aggwaseon - I love their writing because it's very versatile and detailed. You can tell the Mun puts a lot of effort into their threads, and even if lately they haven't been very active, I can guarantee you that this Mun right here knows precisely what they are doing and they are doing it with passion, dedication and care!

@kuinaoflight - Her talent at both writing Kuina as a character and stories in general is amazing! I always loved reading her threads and the amazingly well crafted answers to the RP memes that make even the most common of prompts feel uniquely written and personalized to the person who sent them. Looking forward to continuing reading Elle's amazing work and see how she'll continue improving even further! <3

@hoodedchishiya - There's a reason why this blog is my all time favorite Chishiya and that's because Alex's writing is usually 1000000/10, both when it comes to writing our favorite snarky cookie addict blonde and storytelling in general. I swear man, if I hear you say one more time that your writing sucks, Imma make it one of my to do list priorities to remind you daily that your writing is beyond excellent!

@artsspi - I really enjoy writing with them because they put a lot of thought and effort into each of their OCs and the threads we write together. I'm always looking forward to reading your replies!

@officerconners - The Mun does an excellent job at portraying Drake and every interaction is fun and captivating to read! They know how to write anything, from silly stuff to the most serious of action packed moments full of suspense!

🌼 ― creative headcanons

@niragixpsych - I always love reading Psych's rendition of Niragi and the headcannons she comes up with, they are very unique and interesting, especially since they add an extra layer of depth and complexity to NIragi's character, while also showcasing his human side.

@triggerhappymilitant - Nyx's headcannons about Niragi are another one of my faves when it comes to headcannons about Niragi. They are always interesting to read and I feel like she always manages to showcase Niragi's utmost essence in her own rendition of the character and its background!

@hoodedchishiya - If you want a fresh and unique version of Chishiya, this is the blog to seek. Again, just like his talent for writing in general, this man's creativity when it comes to reimagining Chishiya in a very unique, yet true to the core essence of the character, is baffling! I told you, I could listen to you ramble all day about your ideas and hcs about Chishiya and I wouldn't grow bored!

🎙️ ― great to talk to

@daikichixkarube - Karube's Mun is one of the most adorable and fun to talk to people I've ever met! I love talking to her on a daily basis and she always knows how to lift my mood or make me laugh! So she will always be one of my favorite people to talk to and one of my bestest of friends!

@niragixpsych - She's very supportive and I can count on her to always be there for me! When I'm sad, Psych will lift my spirits up; when I am stuck with a dilemma, she'll do her best to give me some suggestions and help the best she can; and her friendly talks full of affection will always warm my heart! I love you, don't you ever forget that!

@kuinaoflight - Full of life, sunshine and with the golden heart of an angel, Elle is a delight to talk with! She knows how to make a conversation fun, how to cheer you up or fuel your creative juices with her ingenuity! I especially love our fun conversations on our favorite TV shows and the funny things we come up with sometimes, like back when we put together a compilation of cat gifs and memes relating to the AiB characters!

@hoodedchishiya - We've had our differences and ups and downs, but once we got to know each other better, he's really a great conversation partner! Even if we don't talk much (and maybe sometimes I probably end up annoying him), he never fails to make me laugh, smile or feel better if I am upset. So no matter what other's might say, you are actually a great friend to have and a great person to talk to!

@twentyfourhourtitts and @hinataxsunshine - I put those two together because they are like siblings to me and I love our little funny conversations (which I really miss sometimes when our group chat falls silent for days on end).

@lillyontheborder - She's a new addition to my friends group, but I can assure anyone that Lilly is a great friend and a great person to talk to! She knows to listen to you and she will do her best to help!

@risa-of-spades - Risa has always been a great listener and supportive pillar of our community and for that I feel like I owe her an endless amount of gratitude and appreciation! She's always there to show her love and support to each and every one of us and if someone needs a shoulder to lean on, they can always count on her for that, as she'll never shun anyone away!

@officerconners - This Mun is a ray of sunshine and delight to talk to! Plus, they know how to give good advice when you need it! A great friend and an amazing conversations partner!

📚 ― nice threads to read

@niragixpsych, @aggwaseon, @artsspi, @triggerhappymilitant, @hoodedchishiya, @kuinaoflight, @officerconners - Mostly for the reasons stated above + some have really funny threads too along with the more serious threads in nature.

🎀 ― all-around kind person

Everyone mentioned previously. uwu Love you all! 💗

🥇 ― well-developed oc

I feel like everyone in this community that writes OCs do an amazing job in writing their characters, so it would be impossible to tag every single one of them. But even so, know that the AiB RP community has some of the greatest well-crafted original characters you'll ever meet!

📌 ― a staple on the dash

Everyone I mentioned thus far are staples on my dash and I wouldn't have it any other way!

🏆 ― 10/10 blog, would recommend

Again, everyone I mentioned above are a 10/10 in my book: great people with great hearts, amazing talents, outstanding writing skills and are infinity/10 friends! And I want you all to know that I love each and every one of you! Never forget that! <3

[mysticdragon828]

You there! Yes, the Persona fan behind that screen there! Are you seeking a Discord server to hang out and talk about the series? Somewhere, perhaps, small and cozy, as opposed to one of those huge discord servers where you could feel icy glares on the back of your head? Well, have I got a place for you! It's called Tanaka's Amazing Warehouse, run by yours truly!

Got questions about it? Look down here!

What is it? - It's a mainly Persona-themed server, with a side of other Megami Tensei games!

Is it active? - Kinda? Sometimes? Can't say it's always active, but every now and then we get chatty! But if you ever do want to strike up a conversation there, you will probably get a reply no matter the hour of the day, so go for it!

Is it centered around a particular Persona game? - Nope, we have channels for all of them!

Are Persona and other Megami Tensei games the only things you talk about there? - Nope! There's channels for other games, other series, various arts, memes, and of course a general chat!

Is it LGBTQ+ friendly? - Yes, absolutely! I mean, I'd be a hypocrite if it wasn't lmao

Is there an age limit? - As long you're above what's stated by Discord TOS (13+), you're allowed to join the server, but be forewarned that there is a mild degree of NSFW allowed(*) there, as the admin (me) is an adult.

What language is it? - Unfortunately, it is strictly English-speaking, as I'm not bilingual, but I will probably allow brief conversations involving other languages if you can find someone else there who speaks it? I dunno how likely that is, but more power to you if you do find someone who speaks your language there!

Is there a verification process? - Not exactly, but there is an automatic role assignment that takes place upon joining the server. If you don't automatically recieve the access role when you join, DM me on Discord(**) please!

(*): "mild degree of NSFW allowed" = as far as certain demon/persona designs across the franchise goes, but no deep discussion about it

(**): "on Discord" = my username there is mysticdragon03, and please dont dm me on here, id just get confused lol

If this didn't answer all your questions (somehow), just DM me here and I'll do my best to tell you whatever you need to know about it!

Thinking of joining? We'll be waiting!

(ps, i would love for this to get a bit of traction at least, so if you're interested or think some of your followers might be interested, reblogs would be appreciated!)

[noirshitsuji]

AO3 Stats tag game

Thank you for the tag @queer-cosette!

Rules: check your AO3 stats and answer each question with the correct fic!

Turns out all of mine are Miraculous Laydbug,,, which,,, not much of a plot twist, but yes.

Most Hits:

les illuminations en douche et d'autres miracles pubères (9,229 hits total)

Shower epiphanies and other pubescent miracles: of Marichat, emotional teenage delinquency, adults' questionable understanding of how the world works or should work, political power play, investigations, reveals, memes, half-baked meta, and the first-ever Save Nooroo Foundation (that the author is aware of). Or, simply put: canon on crack, featuring Adrien “romantic pro-gamer” Agreste, Marinette ”Schroedinger’s Very Tired™ friend” Dupain-Cheng, Gabriel “you don't need the two most powerful objects in the universe, you just need a therapist” Agreste, Plagg and Tikki “five more minutes of this and they'll be throwing hands with the Meta Consciousness for putting them here" the kwamis, and many, many more.

Main relationships: Lovesquare, DJWIFI (morphing into Chloninya), unhinged Gabenath, and team dynamics

Second most kudos:

I Know What You Did in the Cat-acombs - collab fic w/ @galahadwilder, @maggies-scribblings, and @veebeejeebies (366 kudos total)

Two part-time superheroes get lost in the creepy catacombs, but spooky skeletons, rabid rats and akuma apparitions are the least of their problems. Written for the @mlwritersguild's October 2020 Event, for the prompt 'Haunted House'.

Main relationship: Lovesquare/Adrienette main

Third most comments:

i'm just so bad at things i don't understand (20 comment threads total)

Human!AU. Tikki and Plagg are childhood friends who fell apart following a tragedy at their hometown in Normandy, but one day Plagg walks into her confiture shop in Paris asking for her help and she finds herself unable to refuse him. Working out their own ghosts is not their only problem, though, not when the son of Paris' most infamous fashion magnate runs away and collides with them. *** She regrets it. Of course she regrets it: yesterday she got blinded by the image of the boy she used to know, the one who lived on the dairy farm just outside of Saintévie with his dad and their workers and no siblings and thus no friends to speak of at all, not until he’d met her and the rest of them, at least. He was always a shadow, though, and they’d all told him as much once and he’d jokingly replied that there was only one sun he’d ever want to be cast off from but wouldn’t tell them which, and it hurts her to think he might have meant– Maybe shadows are the burns suns never get to inflict upon the land, Tikki thinks, but if they have no sun to follow, their tendrils turn into annihilating flames. Maybe this is why the fire started.

Main relationships: Plagg/Tikki, Plagg & Adrien & Tikki, Tikki & Marinette, Adrienette

Fourth most bookmarks:

well somewhere along the way in our words i must've gotten lost (45 bookmarks total)

Written for a blog request for the @mlwritersguild: Beelya where Queen Bee visits the Césaire house after Alya writes an article about her fighting Mr. Pigeon alone. Normally Chloé would like the publicity but Alya had titled it ‘The Birds and the Bees’. After that she ends up coming back to complain about her mother. And her father. And about the fact that her oldest friend seems uncomfortable around her. Her visits becomes weekly, then almost nightly. (Don’t forget to include Chloé redemption (and some “Bee Movie” jokes).) * Alya isn’t quite sure how she ended up here, in a place where she isn’t even surprised Chloé would seek her out to talk about her dad, where she wouldn’t even mind her doing so, where she would expect it, where she would– (–thud. She might be in trouble.)

Main relationships: Alya/Chloe, Team Miraculous

Fifth most words:

tried to touch you but you're cutthroat (stay to see it unfold) (4,426 words total; technically #2 in this list is the fifth longest, but I thought I'd discounted in the interest of showcasing more stuff)

If you scratch your claws against enough things, eventually everything around you's gonna give. It's not science. It's what being a Cat Wielder is. Some of them just learn it the hard way. (Or: The life and times of Chloe Bourgeois.)

Main relationships: Chloe/Luka, Team Miraculous (AU - Black Cat!Chloe and Ladybug!Luka)

Least words:

Similarly to Coco, my shortest is also a Valentines Day drabble for the @mlwritersguild event last year.

too much could be an overdose (100 words total)

Main relationship: Adrino

Tagging all the people in #2 and whoever else wants to do this!

[foxpunk]

like, on one hand i get it. i logically understand the motives behind why tumblr is making the decisions they are making. i just do not think that their motives MUST line up with these specific decisions.

in the end, tumblr needs more revenue. full stop. that is not up for debate. if they do not get it somehow, then tumblr is going to shut down because they simply cannot keep things running, and it will happen much MUCH sooner than most of y'all are at all prepared for. hell, it's already something they've been delaying well past when other sites would have been scrapped (well...aside from twitter but that is a recent and extreme example).

so i get why they need more activity, i get why they need more users, i get why they need to have a shop and micro-transactions. i truly do.

but tumblr is not going to be gaining any new users if it becomes a copy-cat for something that already exists. the amount of new and active and dedicated users they will get is minimal when those users can simply be active on another app/site that does the same thing (and likely already does it better). why seek out tumblr when every other app already has an algorithmic main feed? why seek out tumblr when every other app has live video? why seek out tumblr when every other site has a minimally customizable default profile?

what makes tumblr what it is? the surface answer is it's the communities and the fandoms and the memes, but what is it about tumblr that allowed these to develop the way they did? it certainly wasn't an algorithm, or live stream, or online shop.

if you want people to get hooked on tumblr, show them what they can do HERE that they CAN'T simply do on another app. yeah sure all the new features (live, for you, etc.) are fun for new users who are used to twitter and instagram and the like, and the option to use them can make those new users feel less out of their depth. but if that's all you're promoting they aren't gonna stick around, cause they can get that literally anywhere else. if you're gonna try n sell tumblr as a product then you need to realize the key to selling a product amongst competition is making it so that people need that product and what it offers Specifically.

one thing i never see talked about for this is hashtags not just as a promotional tool but as an organizational one. you can search through specific blog and see everything in a specific tag On That Blog. thats HUGE. it's SO useful. regardless of how it can mess up at times, literally NO other modern social media site lets you do that! livejournal and wordpress are the only things that come close, and livejournal is old as shit and largely inactive, while wordpress has a VERY different target audience.

pair that together with how reblogs work and you have an AMAZING thing going here and you're just letting it Sit There with no spotlight on it.

another thing: ASKS. GOD. WHY ARE Y'ALL NOT PROMOTING ASKS. HELLO. they're such a fun and unique way to interact on this site. the messenger is great but every social media has DMs these days. asks are something truly different and, again, they're just sitting there with NO spotlight on them.

another recent feature that i actually really really love is reblog controls. they are separate from having to turn your entire account private to get people to not look at/spread a post. they're perfect for people who don't want to bother password protecting their entire damn blog but still don't want a certain post spreading. talk about that! i'm sure it'd draw some people away from twitter, since you have to adjust privacy settings for your entire profile if you wanna manage who can and can't interact with a tweet.

and if you're worried about people being confused by reblogs and replies and the like. it is literally as simple as having a little slide show with cute graphics explaining what those are when people are signing up. hell, make multiple cute little slideshows. explain reblogs vs replies, explain tags and the specific way they work on tumblr, explain the different sections on the dash. don't make it little pop text bubbles on the dashboard, people hate pop ups. 9/10 they are not gonna look at them or accidentally click out of them and then they're gone and your user is lost. just have it be a page people are directed to before they hit the dashboard. it is THAT simple. let people be able to revisit that page easily. boom. one and done. you had that annoying ass wind up denture icon popping up for all of us, why not put a little icon in the corner for new accounts to revisit the "tutorial" if they forgot something? it literally is that easy it is SO easy. holy shit.

if you're so worried about users being confused by anything different from other social media, it's your job to EXPLAIN THOSE DIFFERENCES. NOT squash them out, are you fucking kidding me hellooo!! sure okay make things a lil more streamlined and definitely improve WCAG, but don't just fucking toss out features that aren't ACTUALLY complicated or inaccessible!! GODDD

it is not actually that complicated to explain a few new concepts to new users. learn how to frame things in a fun way upon sign-up instead of obfuscating any and all information behind 10 different staff/support/wip/changes/etc blogs and the least helpful help desk in existence.

also, i know they already clarified they aren't gonna be doing this, but if they push non-optional algorithm onto the Main Feed i'm gonna blow this whole place up (for legal reasons i must clarify this is a Joke). like. just find me on mastodon at that point.

edit: to clarify what i've already said. i think having algorithmic options (OPTIONAL options) for new users is Fine in the end. like, it's a fair compromise (mentioned that in some tags earlier but realized i didn't say that on this post specifically). i have issues with how it's opt-OUT rather than opt-IN, but in the end it's not really going to affect much (so long as chrono feeds are an option, and are not taken from users who already have them set as chrono). and honestly neither will all the smaller (general UI) changes they are going to be experimenting with. the site and it's core features will largely function the same way.

i'm mostly frustrated with tumblr making all these changes to conform rather than to stand out from the pack.

the one thing i AM worried about is that they hinted at messing with reblogs and replies more though. don't touch them lol. like i said, just actually explain shit to your new users and you'll be FINE lord almighty

[onlygenxhere]

 20 questions writer meme!

Tagged by @jmrothwell, Thanks!

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 38

2. What's your total AO3 word count? 382,342

3. What fandoms do you write for? Julie and the Phantoms and one lone Teen Wolf

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Falling Toward the Future – The monster college au that I based a lot on my own college experiences.

The next four (actually 6) are all part of the Found Family Fluff Series. Basically my take on things that might have happened after the Orpheum and the most family friendly of everything I've written.

Burn Baby Burn – The sixth fic in the series. Julie and Luke making out in a hammock

A Bigger Table – The second in the FFF series. Ray buys a bigger dining room table so the guys can join them at meal times even though they can’t eat.  

Eat the Chips – My very first Julie and the Phantoms fic and the first in this series. Julie and Luke can touch now but for some reason Luke has been avoiding touching her.

Not Today Satan – My first Willex piece and the third in the series. Alex and Willie hanging out in the studio catching up on music from the last 25 years when Julie comes in and they discover some new ghost powers.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? Yes, always. Sometimes it’s just a .gif but I always reply with something.

6. What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? I feel like this should just say what’s your angstiest fic cause like most, I like to end on a happy note, or at least with hope. Even though they both end either happy or hopeful I feel like As Long As We Have Each Other and What if I’m Someone I Don’t Want Around are the most angst filled. Both are pretty depressing.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? They all have a happy ending (technically the smut has the happiest endings) but maybe We’re Having a Baby part 4. Julie and Luke have a baby. (I know you’re shocked from that title)  

8. Do you get hate on fics? – Not really. Had a few 'I’m not sure I like what you did there'. But nothing mean. I’m pretty sure I would have a couple years ago based on what I’ve heard.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Yes, not sure what this means by what kind. I’m going to assume it means ships. It’s all been Juke until recently when I did my first peterpatterlina. There're four outtakes from Falling Toward the Future that are Explicit as well as Maybe I Could be Yours (Royalty AU) and a series of fics in the Naughty Files.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written? I have not done a crossover (only AUs) but I’ve had a couple floating around in my head but not enough to actually write down.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not to my knowledge

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? No

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? No, but I think it’d be fun.

14. What's your all-time favorite ship? Juke (shocking) But I will actively seek out Rarrie and Peterpatterlina. And I love Willex (Willex Wednesday!) and pretty much all of them to varying degrees.

15. What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will? Never say never. If I’ve written words on something it’s always possible I’ll finish it.

16. What are your writing strengths? This is a hard question to answer because it’s all a matter of opinion and writers are our own worse critics. Maybe dialogue.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Sometimes I think I can get too focused on movement. Like making sure the reader knows how everyone is moving as they speak. It’s not always important and I can get bogged down in it sometimes.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? Just terms of endearment otherwise I try to avoid it.

19. First fandom you wrote for? Technically it would be Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure even though it never went up on the web in any way. I’ve written The Hardy Boyz (wwe) and Buffy, Willow and Oz. All of them many, MANY years ago.

20. Favorite fic you've written? This is like picking a favorite child. Looking through them all though I am very fond of Happy Birthday Ray which was the first sequel one-shot I wrote to Falling Toward the Future. I gave him my own birthday and published it ON my birthday.

Tagging @preoccupied-educator, @missjoolee, @60sec400, and @1mnobodywhoareyou  and anyone else that wants to share.

[uncxntrxllable]

JUST A GENERAL PSA:

if you; sent a meme, liked a starter call, answered an open starter, posted a reply, and you have been waiting longer than you'd wish to receive an answer, the starter or a response....

I promise you it's not because I've forgotten! Chances are likely that it's sitting in my drafts either waiting to be written or waiting to be posted! And trust me, I don't seek out to intentionally make people wait a long time. If I had the power, it'd be a week tops.

But I have many amazing people I write with, which means I have a lot of threads — I typically have at least 100 drafts consistently. I do my best to keep up with a general plan to write some then post some throughout the week!

I may have 100+ drafts consistently but I love it, it is not my personal threshold, I can handle it no problem. All it means is that you may not get fast replies from me, and that I need time! It also means I may occasionally be slow at starting new things with people, especially if you require plotting. The best way to get something started with me the quickest is through memes, starter calls and open starters.

With that said, thank you all for always being patient and also for writing with me and my crazy muses �� it means a lot

[emmetrain]

11. describe your ideal outcome/endgame for the muse you are currently writing. if you are a multimuse blog: do this for your current favorite muse, or the muse of the last reply you posted.

OLD MEMES I HAVEN'T GOTTEN AROUND ANSWERING;;

^This man healing from the trauma of losing Ingo for all those years. If you met him after Ingo was found, you do not know who he used to be, and how... different and kind of bizarre Emmet is acting.

This man had been cold, reserved, self-confident beast of a trainer who was seeking thrills in form of wins. He was immature, yes, and he was rude and blunt to a fault. But he had been in a happy state—he was still euphoric over building a new identity, getting a job, being "Emmet".

The Emmet after the day Ingo had gone missing is... More friendly, sure, but his happy state is shattered into million pieces. His confidence falters, his voice shakes. He is RECKLESS. This train conductor who prided himself on being all about safety DO NOT CARE about his own safety anymore. His sense of self is distorted, and he doubts himself to the point he stops all his operations.

Ideal outcome for Emmet through interactions is to see him learn how to accept himself again. His perfectionist nature killed his joy and confidence—he made a terrible mistake by failing to protect Ingo after all. The guilt is still eating him alive. He will never be the same person he used to be, but this Emmet does not have to be constantly guilty, sad one who does not value himself.

[weabooweedwitch]

Girl do you love him or do you love the approval he gives you? Do you love him as a person for who he is, or is he the first guy to show you attention and you think he's the only guy who will ever be interested in you? Sorry if that's blunt but there's a key difference and you have to be careful with this stuff because you don't want your vulnerabilities to be taken advantage of. The speed at which you've gone from 'I like him he's a nice friend' to 'I love him' is a little concerning. Go slow!!! Figure out if he's actually worth your time, be on the lookout for red flags and don't gloss over them or ignore them just to keep the relationship. Figure out if you actually like *him* separate from his approval and validation, ask yourself which qualities he has that you like/find attractive. Any rando in the world could give you those 2 things, they have nothing to do with him as a person. And don't get attached too quickly, you need to be emotionally able to back out if he's showing major 🚩🚩🚩 at any point!

(source: dated a "nice guy" for those exact 2 reasons confusing it for love, 'fell in love' fast and basically ruined the life I had because he turned out to be a cheating abuser)

(I know I've been making a lot of long ass posts and answers lately, my bad :c, I actually was trying to reply to this during my shift and then was so bushed after I got home I fell asleep)

No you're totally right dont get me wrong, very valid concerns, and I think about this constantly because I don't want to fuck up and say something to him and turn around and not mean it or whatever, or like torally ruin our friendship and creep him out and chase him away. Idk. I guess I just think of our relationship and it's always been kind of weird but good in that online friend way?

So we met and began talking around 8, 9, 10 years ago and you know we were a little flirty back then but you know, nothing serious, we were mostly just buds talking about video games and such. And we just... our friendship back then is so similar to how it is now? Like I stopped talking to him before I turned 18 (for this exact same reason actually: catching feelings and feeling like I'm putting him in a weird position) and he sought me out this year all the time later sometime in August or November, like he literally scoured facebook for me, me specifically to reconnect because he lost people during the pandemic and had a few bouts of depression and was seeking lost connections and like. Talking to him feels exactly the same. Exactly the same. He often messages me first, to send memes or jokes or start talking about a topic, like we were talking basically every day, and since we reconnected it's been exactly the same? 🥺

But I also recognize like. There was about an 8 or so year gap in our communication so I guess we have only technically known each other for like 2 or 3ish years? But 🥺 it still feels the same. I still like talking to him. We agree on a lot of things and when we don't he is always respectful, he isn't one of those guys who starts shitting on you and demeaning you. And he doesn't enable me either! He's supportive of my mental health struggles and that I'm trying but he also pointed a lot of stuff out to me when I was spending time with him, like telling me I smoke way too much (his exact phrasing was "herb addled") and said I need to cut down for my health 🥺 and like lmao we got stoned and took a 3am walk to the 7/11 and he kind of, lol, stopped me from getting way too much food just because I had munchies, and also was trying to save me money because, you know, gas station food isn't always cheap

I dunno, he. Inspires me to be a better person. But I also recognize that even if we get along really well and have known each other for some time that I don't actually know a lot about him personally. Like I keep forgetting how old he is, I didn't know he had siblings, I only recently started finding out like his music tastes and such, idk. I want to learn more about him and share moments and things with him 🥺

We also just have a lot of really good conversations. Like it's weird we've just been able to talk so easily and so often without even knowing each other super personally which is the step that's coming now I guess?

I guess if I were to start listing things off about him that I like... He's very honest. I never have to be afraid he's secretly thinking something different; he's an open communicator, albeit a little blunt at times but he jokingly often refers to that as 'a side effect of the 'tism' but it's helpful you know? He doesn't mince words? Like he told me straight up that I tend to ramble sometimes because I'm insecure of the silence and that's totally correct. He encourages me to get away from my mom and kind of just my family in general, encourages me to be more of my own person. Like there have been so many many MANY conversations over the years and recently too where I'm just kind of venting to him and he gives me not just support but feedback, it's not just all "wow that sucks sorry to hear" but also "that's tough but it is a challenge you can overcome". There are so many times where I don't trust my own judgment and he's gone "no you didn't deserve that, that was really shitty, you didn't do anything wrong"

He's so smart 🥰 he's one of those guys that you go to tell him about something and he already knows, and also probably knows more than you do. He's getting a degree in botany or horticulture of some kind (his grades are so good too, he's shown me his like report card whatever, I'm so proud) and he's very avid and passionate about the environment and like, "being the change you want to see in the world". Like I loved going to his house and seeing all his gorgeous plants which he takes care of so meticulously and he knows all their scientific names and stuff. He grows succulents, man. Bitches love succulents

He's good at figuring out what he wants and working towards that goal. Hes good at regulating and setting boundaries on things that might be detrimental, like after I came back from the visit, he let me know that he was going to start turning his phone off at certain hours because of school now that jos break was over, he usually let's me know when he's going to bed so I'm not hanging on for a reply or anything. He's actually trying to distance from certain forms of like social media and online content because he thinks there's way too much stuff that's frivolous now and like, that can sometimes sound vaguely douchey but I actually totally agree? Like the amount of time I spend on my phone is insane and I know I'm wasting so much time on bullshit and I wish I could take control like he can

So uh, the uh, the night we had sex, right. I was going to use a rideshare service and no one was available and it was like 3am. And I was sitting there and he was saying "no I'm not going to let you try and walk out there at night it's not safe" and being caring like that and i just started crying and he started to hold me, like I was sitting in the couch and he was standing and he just hunched down to hold me because that was what I needed. I started apologizing, that I always felt like he's having to take care of me, that I hate being such a burden, and he soothed all those worries and just, kept holding me. He actually sat down on the couch next to me so he could hold me for a while as I just sobbed, squeezing me really tight, rocking me back and forth until I calmed down, which I eventually did, and it kind of came to the topic of where to sleep, and he says something like "it would be a lot easier to hold you if we were both lying down" which, was kind of going to be implied anyways. I kind of knew going up there we were probably going to get physical haha. But he wasn't bringing it up in a crazy way, you know? And when he was going into his bedroom and I kind of hesitated because I was nervous, he kind of, gave me this pause and this look like he was asking if I was coming but it was ok if I didn't, you know? He made sure I was OK, and I was. And we just lied in his bed cuddling as I sniffled and we just started talking about all sorts of stuff and, yeah

I mean. The sex itself was. Like. It's. Not to be cheesy but it was genuinely how I always wanted my first time to be, although this was my second time and the first was so icky we ain't gonna talk about it lmao. Perfect communication, asking how i felt, if I had any feedback, was there anything specific I wanted to do WHICH HE DID BTW fjfjgngjg. Like I felt SO comfortable and safe. I even got a little bold with him in ways that literally light my face on fire but it was because I trusted him so much. Like literally there was a point where he said I could do whatever I wanted to him and you know what I did? I started massaging his hand and arm where his injury is, I had him lay on his tummy so I could massage his back, because I wanted him to feel better, like ever since I hears he was injured I was wanting to try and help him like that 🥺

There were points where we were just, cuddling naked, just peaceful, feeling the warmth of each other's skin. I was the little spoon AND the big spoon and he'd be resting his head on my chest or tummy and I'd just be running my fingers through his hair and he also makes these little groaning noises when something feels good so it's like he purrs a little bit 🥰 and I mean. There was definitely some spice too but idk how comfortable you guys are in hearing those parts. Like for example there were a few times I kept accidentally bringing up my mom or rambling to be anxious and he would just silence me with a kiss because he knew I was anxious and shit. Or uh. Haha. He was kind of a biter so at some point he's trying to get an answer out of what something I would like to try was and I was being too shy so he just starts BITING ME like not hard but in a "ooo stop don't do that omg 🥰" kind of way until I came out and said it (and he did do it, quite enthusiastically too 🥵)

We talked a lot about my relationship with my mom and one of his biggest pieces of advice was something like "your mom is shitty for sure but the way you are holding on to your anger is making things worse. You're getting bent out of shape over very small things at this point and you're only stressing yourself out, you need to let some of that rage go and move on". He's actually been studying aspects of Buddhism and tries to incorporate some of those aspects into his life which o also really like, he also burned incense in his room which had a nice smell 🥰

I. I dont know. Like I fully recognize I need to spend more time with him and get to know him more before I make any significant decisions but. My heart is such a mess. Even if it's unhealthy or weird I know I feel. Even if it's temporary. Even if it's because I'm a freak. Nothing has to be said or done now. I just want to see him. Spend time with him. Support him. Recently he had an incident with a girl he liked and was talking to and spending time with and he invited her to spend time with him and she suddenly said "you make me uncomfortable" and gave him a really bad depressive episode? And he said during our visit, "yeah I'm gonna keep trying but next time it falls through I'm giving up on dating apps" and like. Last night I was thinking... if it's making him feel so depressed and alone... I would completely humiliate myself just to soothe him. I'd tell him I love him and how much he means to me and say "even if you don't want me, even if I'll never be that person for you, I want you to know you're capable of making people feel this way and you're worthy of love and even if it isn't me I know you'll find someone someday because youre smart and caring and responsible and wonderful"

And I mean... that's love isn't it? 🥺

[aholotte]

Image descriptions:

The first image is a Twitter screenshot in dark mode. The first person, who had their username censored, said "I mean, you freaks invent fictional pronouns like hij/hem, so...y'know. It's difficult to converse with the patently insane. Seek therapy. Or a better therapist. The second person, also with their username censored, but identified by their profile picture of Stolas from Helluva Boss, replied "hij/hem is dutch for he/him lmao." This comment was posted on July 21, 2021, at 10:44 AM, and had 2 likes.

The second image is of a TikTok comment section. The first person, Nick, with a profile picture of some red-haired anime girl, said "vs/ae lmao those aren't real pronouns I'm not calling you that" and added several cry-laughing emojis. The comment was pinned. The creator, going by the screen name "call me own || kaeya mwah" replied "THOSE ARENT MY PRONOUNS THEYRE WHAT I USE TO EDIT"

The third image is of a tweet. @Beemp18, replying to @Jimmy_Sherwood, @Plaindaneaspie and 2 others, said "He/Him | Transcriber Well I don't know what a 'criber' is but I can see why you're triggered" and added a laughing emoji. The tweet was posted on November 22, 2020 at 1:02 PM and has no likes. @Jimmy_Sherwood posted a reply saying "it means I caption and subtitle for a living, you fucking idiot"

The fourth image is of an ask on Tumblr. Anonymous asked "Si/siad? What kind of fucking neo pronouns bullshit" sadmemegf answered "it's literally just she/they in Irish" and posted a low-quality Facebook style meme with emojis saying "get help." Later on, she added "new gender unlocked: Irish" with the Irish part in green. hyde-your-heart reblogged with "reminds me of the transmed that threw a hissy fit because someone had Ella/elle in their blog… that's she/they in Spanish" The post had 30,463 notes.

[christianotome]

Ask someone else to answer for you

Yesterday a friend sent me a meme that said “One day you will have to answer for your action”, I replied with another meme saying “I don’t wanna”. Then I started thinking that I honestly didn’t want to answer for some things I’ve done.

I think the 3 starting steps of Christianity are:

Realizing that we will have to answer for our actions;

“Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap” (Galatians 6:7)

That the consequences of our actions are going to be terrible for us;

“For the wages of sin is death” (Romans 6:23a)

Then deciding we don’t want to answer for them and seek the help of the only One that can help us.

“But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities; The chastisement for our peace was upon Him, And by His stripes we are healed” (Isaiah 53:5)

[optimus-prime-advice]

Intro Post

So this blog exists to provide friendly and kindhearted advice, motivation, and positivity via the written voice of the fictional character Optimus Prime from Transformers. Everything is written by a normal, average guy without any professional background, and therefore a limit is set on what is and isn't going to be on this blog.

Rules of what is and isn't permitted will be below the cut, as well as a self-introduction of the weird little dude who runs this whole thing.

Anything which requires a licensed professional will not be addressed, and any asks, reblogs, or submissions regarding such subjects will be deleted, or reported to the proper authorities if necessary. Please reach out to licensed professionals with your concerns.

Basic coping techniques applicable to general everyday issues will be mentioned.

The blog will address average daily problems such as loneliness, curating personal environments, relationships (mainly platonic and familial), life maintenance, self care, self maintenance, etc.

Positivity is welcome. Negativity is not. Though I don't expect any, if hate is sent or spread, it will be disregarded entirely and deleted.

Expect uplifting Transformers memes and art. This is a blog geared towards happy things regarding Transformers in all adaptations.

Feel free to send asks to seek advice regarding any situation within the guidelines above.

This is an LGBT+ friendly space. Feel free to ask anything regarding advice, issues, assurance, etc. for LGBT+ problems and identities. Any and all hate geared toward these posts will be disregarded and deleted when possible. All LGBT+ haters will be blocked without interaction given. Don't feed the hate, share the love.

Donation or crowdfunding posts will not be shared or posted on this blog. They often contribute to anxiety, and therefore are counterproductive to the purpose of this blog.

Currently rant posts without the intent to seek advice are not permitted. I might eventually allow them but I will tag them accordingly if so. For right now, though, I will only reply to a rant if the end goal of said rant is to seek advice or motivation regarding the situation or subject.

Trigger warnings will be tagged accordingly. Each one will be tagged as "tw (word)" with (word) being the subject matter. If there's a trigger warning you'd like added within reason, or if I missed one, please feel free to send a message or ask with the post link if applicable, and I'll add it! I do have ADHD and it's quite easy for me to miss a tag sometimes, but I do my best to make sure I don't forget them for serious subjects.

Political subjects and matters will not be discussed or shared here unless the intent is to seek assurance and positivity, and such posts will be tagged as "tw political". It's no secret the constant stream of world issues and being subjected to them nonstop has a major negative impact on mental health. This blog aims to be a positive impact on mental wellness and health, and will therefore be avoiding all politics and political matters which have zero intentions of seeking a positive.

Feel free to ask anything anonymously, or request an ask you've sent to be answered privately. I'll respect this absolutely, and to the fullest extent. But just beware that anonymous asks cannot be answered privately.

I hope to have lots of fun and shared positivity with you guys, and provide everyone with some joy from the best fictional robot dad around!

Ok so here's some stuff about me, the Dwarf, the dude, the cat dad, who's behind the blog.

Hey y'all! I'm Magnus Hjaelmar! I'm a trans FTM gay author and artist! Currently 25yo. I'm on Cara if you like art. For writing, I'm on Substack! At the moment I'm working on a novel I publish there which is about Dwarves and uncovering the Dwarven Underrealm of Dramina!

I do a lot of renfaires and LARPing, always dressed and playing as a Dwarf for each one! (Can y'all tell I love Dwarves???)

I myself am disabled and autistic. I used to do MMA for 13 years consistently, up until chronic pain caused by arthritis and lupus took over.

I live in the USA, and have a cat son named Patron. This is him.

This baby man helps me lots with my PTSD, anxiety, and depression. Every time something's wrong, Patron is right there to make it better. He's a rescue from the streets of the city I live in a suburb of. He's also got anxiety and depression, and Patron always needs someone there with him or he gets supremely rambunctious to relieve his nervous energy. I could spend my lifetime taking about how purrfect and great my big chonky Patron is, more so than I could ever talk about myself. He, as of writing this, is 18lbs of fluffy love.

I met him at an adoption event where every cat was a kitten except for Patron and one other. And nobody at all was looking at this boy. I learned he'd been there longest of all, 2 years, and poor Patron was lying sad and disinterested inside his cage. I asked to see him, and immediately the dude perked up. I went to hug him, and the shelter was utterly astounded as he lay in my arms contently because, apparently, he hated being held! Of course I brought him home moments later, and he's been king of the house ever since!

Uhh... the only other thing y'all gotta know about me is that I'm a metalhead supreme, LARPer, and RPG player in videogame and tabletop formats! You'll find me any average day dressed in all black with chains, gauntlets, Mjolnir, a tattered jean vest covered in metal band patches, cargo shorts/pants or a battle kilt, all while I'm probably outside to grab mac and cheese and hot chocolate at some random unholy hour.

Anyway, yeah! That's me! And my son! Welcome to the blog, and I hope to bring some joy and happiness to your lives!!

[danklefstad-blog]

Re: Your Intern Who Rejected My Book

Dear Publisher,

Many thanks for responding to my manuscript query. Even though it took 11 months, two weeks, and three days for your reply to arrive, and even though it was clearly a form email, I’m grateful that your college intern took the time to read my sample pages while watching TikTok videos and snapping Instagram images of freshly painted fingernails. Such multi-platform multitasking is perfect preparation for this new world where nouns are distilled into memes, feelings are reduced to emojis, and attention is measured in GIFs. I hope you’re paying your primary gatekeeper an adequate wage to share a studio apartment in Brooklyn with no more than three other future captains of the content creation industry formerly known as publishing.

I hate to intrude on your Facebook time, but I would like to point out a few of your junior staffer’s notes, presumably meant to help with my future submissions. Please understand I’m not trying to get anyone into trouble. I merely want to confirm whether these “edits” reflect the new industry standard for composition worthy of today’s audience.

Firstly, your intern changed all gender pronouns to they/them. While I consider myself an ally of transgender and non-binary persons, I maintain some readers might find it useful to know whether a character identifies as “he” or “she” or is biologically so. If you feel otherwise, I’ll admit this is not a hill I’m willing to die taking, as we’re only talking about pronouns.

Secondly, any reference to sexual attraction, or even intercourse, has been removed. It seems your apprentice feels my main characters would appeal more broadly to Generation Z if they identified as “ace” which, after consulting a source called Urban Dictionary, I learned means asexual. No offense to those not interested in sex but how does your intern think people arrive on this planet? Dropped by aliens? Maybe it’s time we bring back the old trope of the stork carrying a swaddled babe in its beak. For the remainder of this letter I’ll refer to the younger cohort as storks — and I don’t care if they view this as a micro-aggression. I am the one who feels attacked and I seek, nay, I demand answers as to what our industry’s standards really are.

Trigger warning: A complaint about trigger warnings is imminent. Are you in a safe place, emotionally speaking, to read my third objection? Allow me tread lightly so as not to bruise your feelings. Okay, I’ll admit this preamble is insensitive. But seriously: Where do we draw the line between a reader’s right not to re-live trauma and my right to inject realism into a story? In my case, your employee went too far when striking an entire scene in which an injured horse is euthanized by its owner. Shooting a lame steed was common practice in the 18th century, and my depiction of this act was meant to portray the owner as a sensitive and merciful man. However, this proved far too much for your stork who apparently still suffers from PTSD after a veterinarian put down a beloved “fur baby.” My lack of a warning seems to be the main reason my manuscript was declined. For your intern’s sake I’ll thank God they didn’t read the part where the man, who was starving, ate his horse so that he could survive a harsh winter.

Please understand that I deeply empathize with anyone who had to say goodbye to a beloved pet. And I would accept the inclusion of a trigger warning for this scene if it increases my odds for getting published. But what about other passages such as a battle devolving into brutal hand-to-hand combat? Or a character’s death from dysentery? Adding warnings to each of these chapters would yank the reader out of the immersive experience I carefully curated for them. I hope you’ll agree that not every chapter in a book should be filled with “happy place” things.

My final complaint focuses on your stork’s lack of knowledge, even complete disregard, for American history. Here I’ll need to burden you with another detail about my novel: It features Thomas Jefferson as a recurring character. In my story Mr. Jefferson is presented as a complex, flawed human of his time who literally owned Black Americans, some of whom he used for sex, the most famous being Sally Hemings. To my astonishment the stork you hired as the sieve for incoming manuscripts insisted I was wrong. Thomas Jefferson, she wrote in all caps, WAS A BLACK MAN. When I shouted back at these words my daughter informed me that a Black actor plays Jefferson in the original cast of Hamilton, a play she has seen numerous times on the Disney channel. My daughter’s praise for the production was drowned out by my alarm that the person you put in charge of acquisitions looked no further than a Broadway musical for fundamental facts about our nation.

Having vented enough for now I wonder if my blame is aimed at the wrong target. What if the education system is the real culprit? Or Gen Z’s parents? Regardless, I do believe you’d be well served to occasionally double-check the writing samples your intern rejects. No need to do this with mine, however. I’ve given up and am exploring other avenues to “boost awareness among content consumers” of my “creative offerings.” God, just reading those words makes me feel dead inside. Still, I’ll focus on greener pastures like my YouTube channel in which I read rejection letters and offer comments similar to what you’ve read here. So far only a dozen people have subscribed but I’m predicting thousands of writers will sign up once my social media posts get enough shares. I’m still researching the best hashtags to optimize my Google-friendliness or whatever they call it. I do find some comfort in this practice as it still involves the careful selection of words.

Would you like to increase your media profile? Join me on my channel. I’d love to get your opinion about where our industry is headed and whether books can still maintain a place in this new landscape. And if the person reading this is in fact the intern who stars in the previous paragraphs, I mean no insult. What’s more, I’ll bet you’d be a far more entertaining guest than your boss — or me, for that matter. We could talk about Hamilton, pronouns, triggers, whatever you want. You’re the future, after all. Those who write should know who you are and what content you prefer.

If, during our chat you scroll through Instagram or TikTok, all I ask is that you share your distractions with our viewers. I realize I’d risk being a bystander on my show. But I need to know if my words still have relevance. Perhaps you’d be doing me a favor by putting me out of my misery. Just do it quickly and as painlessly as possible. And be sure your rising star executes a full eclipse so my remains are shielded from sensitive eyes. Not to put too fine a point on it but don’t eat me because that would get you banned from all platforms, possibly forever.

What’s that? Of course, vegan. Please excuse my lame and inappropriate attempt at humor. And may your words succeed where mine have failed.

Author.