#✦ q. ╱ i have a couple of dogs‚ they come when i whistle.

[cataschism]

WHEN DO YOU GAZE AT YOUR SOULMATE?

deku: when they're getting ready for the day

this is all you've ever wanted. you and them and the promise of a future. you should be getting ready too. but you lay in bed for a moment, still feeling the traces of their warmth on the sheets, their scent on your skin. you watch how carefully they choose their outfit for the day. you watch as they pair the colors. you memorize that face they make when they stand at the mirror checking every detail. you savor how routine it is. you savor it because you both earned it. there is something precious in the domesticity and you vow to never take it for granted.

michael: when they're already watching you

you know. you always know when they're looking and especially when they're not. you feel their eyes on you and at first you just feel it. you pretend not to notice and you smile to yourself. it's warm. and maybe it's foolish and cliche but there are butterflies in your stomach and that's the feeling you want to hold onto. so you do. you can't the appropriate amount of seconds which feel like minutes. then you lift your own eyes and meet theirs and those butterflies turn into fireworks. they see you and you see them. and there is nothing more comforting and exhilarating as that.

enji: when they don't know you're there

you want to see who they are at their core. your love smiles for you. they put on a brave face. they tell you off when you're out of line and they encourage you when you know your mistakes are piling up. they're the one who is always there. but there are moments you catch them unawares and that is when you watch them. you want to see the expression their face takes when they aren't being brave for you. you want to see how they smile when it isn't designed to lift your own burdens. you want to see what they say to everyone else. how they talk about you. how everyone else encourages them or if they let anyone be there at all. you want to see what is underneath it all so you can prove that's who you love. the parts of them they try to hide. the parts they think you don't already know and adore.

tagged by: stolen from somebody i forgor tagging: @shinanai , @higanbaana , @pavlovianpanic , @absolventiia , @never-surrender , @writtenrotten and YOU (tag me!)

[cataschism]

@thessence

A hot mess of cats

[rotationalsymmetry]

All right. So, I think it’s probably better to not continue engaging on the original post from a couple days ago and I think it would have been better if I’d done my usual and explained my position separately to start with. There are some things that mean things in context that would not have that meaning out of that context — for instance, perhaps arguing on someone else’s post “I want to be able to complain about stuff without it being associated with calls of censorship” might imply that I want to/am directly complaining to the writers about this stuff, since after all I am tagging this on to someone else’s post.

And there are some things about this that are very reminiscent of other times I’ve waded into Discourse without really understanding the context and as a result came across way, way differently than I intended.

(It’s I think somewhat analogous to the “queer as a slur” thing: the reason that whole concept is so fucked up is because queer IS a slur, queer is often used against us in derogatory ways and this is common knowledge, so someone who isn’t connected to a community that has reclaimed the word is gonna react with “ooh, I don’t like that word” and then you can’t tell which of the “hey just so you know you should tag the q word” people just don’t have the context and which ones are doing it entirely on purpose and which have run into and bought into some terf outlier ideas (like maybe they figure “lesbian” should mean “not attracted to men, period”) but aren’t full terf and might never be.)

There is something about dynamics on social media that just makes all this stuff extremely fraught and doesn’t really cut slack for normal amounts of not knowing stuff, not phrasing things perfectly, and/or picking up code phrases and using them for their surface meaning because you just don’t know what the dog whistles are supposed to whistle for.

Anyways my own blog my own opinions: I think part of where I was coming from is that I do actually think that “hey I have personal ethics and I want my writing to reflect that” I is not the same thing as censorship, and the original post was written as “you don’t have to” (which, when I mean personal ethics I don’t give a shit about, eg, writing about Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy or whatever) and then when Twilight got brought into it I was all like “yeah, I don’t want to write stories about stalker boyfriends who are presented as good and loving boyfriends.”

It’s important to me to tell stories that engage with themes of consent and bodily autonomy, either in the story itself or in the bigger context of the story (ie having a way to label things non-con or dub con if that’s what’s going on.) That doesn’t mean I think anyone else should have to or that I have the standing to tell other people what ethical standards to follow in their own writing if they’re not even asking me. But yeah, for me, if I’m writing, there’s some things I want to prioritize.

I want to avoid writing harmful (racial etc) stereotypes, I want to avoid writing scenes where it’s ambiguous whether this is a rape scene that’s intended to be kind of a turn-on — I have non-con fantasies, I could write non-con fantasies and I could also write stuff really digging into what effect sexual trauma has on people, I want there to be a hard line between these things. And I want to avoid writing stories where side character death is treated as, idk, scenery? ambiance? And I want to avoid “torture is OK if you’re the good guys” tropes and other designated hero tropes where the heroes are not in any way more ethical than their opposition.

I figured out how to work this around 15 years ago. Writing involves two types of things: a creative stage, like a plant growing, and a stage that’s like pruning the plant. (Which is mostly about technical stuff like grammar and pacing, but can also be about “is this the kind of story I’m comfortable writing?”) When you’re writing, “am I engaging in misogyny by calling my female villain a witch?��� is going to block the creative flow and you should just use whatever words are coming to you without worrying about it, much as it’s also important to not get hung up on whether your spelling is right or whether you should be using the Oxford comma. That stuff is for the pruning stage. (Although it’s not always a straightforward write/edit thing; sometimes the “I want my writing to do certain things” stuff can be used effectively in the generating ideas phase too. But the important thing is that when you’re growing you should be growing, not second guessing yourself, you shouldn’t grow and prune at the same time.) There is a way in which getting too tense about writing responsibly can get in the way of actually writing, and it’s also possible to get writing responsibly (to your own standards) concerns in there before you’re showing off a finished product.

If you’re showing anyone at all; there is also great value in “I’m writing this just for me”, it doesn’t have to be a thing you show other people to be worth doing.

Most of the sort of ethical writing discourse I’ve seen on tumblr is beyond wonky and I generally ignore it. It is, well, extremely wonky to tell people “you have to write fem slash regardless of what you personally like, I don’t want to hear any excuses” or… I don’t even know what else is going on, because mostly I stay way away from that stuff. But there’s something that actually makes sense a few steps away from that, which is “if your default protagonist is always male, is that because you just haven’t considered trying to write female protagonists more often?” Because sometimes that happens! It happens with me! My internal sense of a default human being is male, in the same way that my sense of a default dog is a Labrador retriever, if I don’t get further direction I’m not going to picture a pekingese or a pug. He’s also white, straight, and abled — I live in a society, you know?That doesn’t mean I’m attached to writing Relatable Everyman characters, it just means if I’m going to avoid writing primarily extremely predictable white dudes (who are probably full of angst, because, well, that’s what I like to write about), sometimes I need to remind myself that other types of human beings exist.

And it’s the same with relationships and rape and stuff. I’ve read two books by women in the last few months that had scenes that were weirdly sympathetic to rapists/almost rapists, and I don’t know these writers’ souls but if that were me, that wouldn’t be because I actually wanted to write that, it would be because I’ve read too much High Literature by guys that treated that sort of thing as Art and I was just kinda copying it because I wanted to write Art too. You know? Whereas if I’m coming from a place of my own values I’m going to center on the experiences of people who are at risk of rape or who have been raped, and I’m going to be saying something on purpose that I want to say.

final thing. Sometimes people internalize other people’s “for me I want to do this” statements as “you should do this.” This is understandable because often people say “for me I want to do this” when the MEAN “everyone should do this” but want to idk be more polite or something. This especially gets tangled up with social justice stuff, because the social justice movement is a mix of people who are primarily interested in the greater good, people who want to personally be a good person and not a bad person, and people who want to be SEEN as being a good person and not a bad person. (And people who don’t want any of that but do want to use social justice language to bully and control and hurt.) It’s a mix of motivations and it’s complicated both by the bullies and by people who aren’t bullies but do want to use social pressure as an instrument of achieving social justice. Which necessarily is going to leverage people’s desires to be seen as a good person. It’s complicated.

[ourbrokeninsanity]

Watchdog Man Relationship/Boyfriend Headcanons

I’ve noticed Watchdog Man doesn’t get a lot of attention in these things so I thought I’d give him some. I think he’d be a pretty great partner, so long as you don’t mind his quirks. We don’t know much about him so I’ll try to keep it pretty open.

Considering Watchdog Man is based on Hachiko he likely has quite a tragic backstory. Which is why he is the way he is (stoic, bland face, doesn’t interact with people much). So the fact that he’s in a relationship already says a lot about how much he cares about that person. It takes a lot for Watchdog Man to get involved with someone - because of the fear of losing them.

However, once he’s in a relationship he is all in. His feelings are intense though not obviously so - he remains stoic and casual. He’s loyal and dedicated (just like Hachiko). Will never look at someone else when he’s in a relationship - the whole concept just doesn’t make sense to him. Why would he look elsewhere when he has you? Also doesn’t talk about you behind your back. Your relationship stays between the two of you (unless he’s teasing you).

He mixes boyfriend, friend and pet behaviours. Is pretty much all of these in one. As such he is loyal, caring and playful. Yeah, you didn’t really expect the last one but he does enjoy teasing you in a playful way. Often makes you smile and laugh this way. For example, he’ll pretend to be a lapdog and just plonk himself in your lap. If you tell him he’s too big he’ll act all wounded (but with the same blank expression which just makes it funnier) and say “but [Y/N]-chan I fit perfectly and you’re comfy.”

He will often use/exaggerate his doggy behaviour to make you smile. Like if you’re upset he’ll nuzzle at you and cuddle up with you. Or if you’ve been studying for 4 hours straight he’ll take your collar in his mouth and literally pull you away from your books telling you “it’s time for walkies. Outside. Where the sun is. You need to look after yourself.”    

You’re his person the way Q-City is his town. He’s protective of you and will actively make sure the areas you frequent are safe (from both monsters and humans). His partner is his family (likely his only family due to said tragic backstory). 

A very casual boyfriend. Generally prefers to spend time with you at home rather than going out. He tends to attract a lot of attention from the public when he’d rather focus on you. Not that he won’t go out or make grand gestures but even these tend to come across as quite casual - probably because his expression stays the same. You’ll come home after a long day to a candlelit dinner and Watchdog Man sitting with a single rose in his mouth, blank-faced as always.

Is not at all jealous and it’s pretty much impossible to make him jealous. Very secure in your relationship. Doesn’t really care who you hang out with as long as you’re safe and happy. If someone starts hitting on you he generally leaves you to handle it, unless they refuse to take no for an answer or you start smelling really stressed or are otherwise sending him ‘help me’ signals. Then he’ll pad on over and generally weird the person away. Like he’ll just sit and stare at them until they move away. If this proves ineffective he’ll straight up tell them to leave you alone. “[Y/N] is mine. Leave.” He can be very blunt. He only gets violent with humans if they act violently first.

The most jealous he gets if you have/get a pet. Especially if it’s a pet that you cuddle a lot. He’ll be giving them the side-eye as they sit on your lap. If you stuck your head in the room when the two are alone you’d see Watchdog Man sat opposite your pet with a serious expression on his face. He leans down to their level and says something like “we both love [Y/N]-chan so we have to share. It’s not fair for you to hog all the lap time.” Honestly it’s rather humorous.    

Loves domesticity. He likely initiates living together (if he has his way you’ll be living together within 6 months of the relationship starting). He won’t pressure you into it, but all he wants is to build a home with you. Wake up with your scent around him. Come home to you. To Watchdog Man your sleepy bedheaded self is >>>>> than you polished and dressed up. Plus living together maximises the time he gets to spend with you around both your busy schedules. He loves seeing you being casual and open with your interests/habits - adores the intimacy and freedom of it. 

Watchdog Man doesn’t put on an act (except for the purposes of being playful and teasing) and doesn’t expect you to either (do you mumble to yourself, sit in ‘odd’ ways, ect? He doesn’t care, go for it). Watchdog Man acts the same on the first date as he will on your tenth anniversary. That casual tenderness and generosity is lifelong. As such there’s no real urge to try and impress him or anything like that. He just wants you to be you.   

He’s not particularly verbally affectionate. He rarely says I love you but prefers to show you with his actions. Makes time for you and is super emotionally supportive. If you’re having a stressful time and need to vent/cry/cuddle he’s right there and will let you get it all out without interrupting. You can be free with your emotions with him (the way you can be with a pet - no judgement, just support). He won’t say anything about it unless he’s concerned that there’s something going on. He might just casually check in with how you are doing an hour later. You can talk about anything with Watchdog Man and know that he’ll listen - even if it doesn’t look like he’s listening.  

Very physically affectionate. The best cuddle partner (except in summer; you have no idea how he doesn’t overheat in the fur). Lie all over him, let him lie all over you, rest his head in your lap while he naps, lean on him, stroke his fur, play wrestle, ride on his back - he loves all of it. In winter he often joins you on the futon to sleep together (so warm and cosy). But he doesn’t mind giving you space. If you don’t want to share a bed (or it’s too warm) but still want him close he’ll move his dog bed next to your futon and let you hold his paw or stroke him as you fall asleep. 

Also he gives great belly rubs (and is happy for you to reciprocate) and will let you play with his paws/toe beans. He thinks it’s adorable to watch you fuss over them. Also likes to nuzzle and lick your cheek. He wasn’t super familiar with kissing when you first got together but he learns to really enjoy them. You could be married for fifty years and he’ll still want kisses and enjoy make-out sessions (that don’t lead to anything).

Speaking of marriage, he can take or leave it. He’s not religious and marriage doesn’t really mean anything to Watchdog Man - he’s as dedicated to you 3 weeks into the relationship (unmarried) as he is 10 years later (married). However, if you got him a dog collar he pretty much considers that a marriage proposal and wedding ceremony in one. It’s a symbol of your regard for him and he wears it always. So it really depends on his partner if they actually get legally married or not.

He doesn’t use a lot of pet names. Unless there’s one you really like to be called he probably just adds -chan to your name (whether you’re male or female because he thinks you’re super cute). He, however, will respond to literally anything as long as he recognises that you mean it as a term of endearment. You could call him Fluffy Hunbun in the middle of an S-class meeting and he would be completely unfazed (nothing you do or say ever embarrasses him). Sometimes you use really bizarre pet names just to see how he’ll react. He knows what you’re doing. He admires your creativity. However, his favourite of all of them (and the one you probably use most often) is puppy. 

He’s quite generous. If you off-handidly mention how you’re struggling to get hold a rare textbook or something, you’ll come home the next day to see one sat on the table. Again he’s very casual about it - you needed something and he could get it (fat paycheck and connections due to being an S-class hero) so he did - that’s what a good boy(friend) does. He didn’t expect to ever have a family again, so he considers this kind of thing to be paying you back for giving him that.

So we know he has super doggy senses (mostly smell but I imagine he has the others too). Probably the first gift he gave you was a special doggy whistle that only he can hear. “If you’re in danger than blow the whistle. I’ll come protect you.” He’s not losing his family again.

Also uses his senses to understand you. He can smell what mood you’re in (stressed, upset, scared, happy, aroused) and other hormonal changes and uses this to base how he should respond. Like if he finds you just sitting quietly in the dark, he’ll have a sniff - are you just thinking/daydreaming? Upset? Angry? It’s one of the reasons he’s so physically affectionate, he wants your happy scent all over him. Best scent ever. 

If his partner has a menstrual cycle he always knows what point their at - he doesn’t consciously mean to track it, it just happens. He’ll ask (seemingly randomly) if you need any menstrual products picking up and, lo and behold, your period starts in the next couple of days. It takes you an embarrassingly long time to figure out how he always knows. Plus he can usually sniff out if you’re ill/coming down with something. If you’re feeling bleh you can ask for a sniff check to see if you’re actually coming down with something or if it’s just a momentary thing.         

[tisfan]

I’ve been doing a lot of reading recently; between the @bannedtogetherbingo2020 kerfluffle and the BLM protests 

(one thing that I’ve been doing recently that seems to annoy the living SHIT out of my fellow White People is correcting “riots” to “protests.” 

“Were you near the riots --” “I did not attend the protests, but I did donate to the medical fund for the man who was injured by removal of the statue on High Street.”

This seems to drive people absolutely batshit, and I will continue to do it. These are not riots and if they have similar characteristics with riots it’s because cops are treating everyone not even like criminals, but like hostile enemy forces.)

Mostly what I’ve been reading about is the difficulty that POC fans have in getting their voices heard in fandom. That the history of fandom is primarily the history of White Fandom. 

(this is long, so there’s more under the cut - I also tell stories A LOT so brace for personal experience asides)

I’ve been thinking about comments I’ve seen by black and brown fans about trying to get away from racist stories on A03. And trying to figure out if there’s a way to give people what they want -- a way to tag posts/topics/writers/ships on a permanent block list. I know I’ve spoken with several fans who have extensive filter scripts when they go looking for a new read and that shit is EXHAUSTING and doesn’t work necessarily on mobile devices.

I, for instance, have QUITE A LOT of stuff blacklisted on tumblr because I find P*nnyW*se the Creepy Teeth Demon to be horrific and I do not want him on my screen. And the movie’s name is IT for fuck’s sake. I can’t blacklist the word “It” and still expect to see any content at all. So, thinking about how much trouble I had keeping PWCTD off my screen gives me some sympathy to how hard it’s got to be to filter out something that people aren’t even tagging! 

I mean, honestly, most of the time that people tag a fic TW: racist, they already KNOW the character is acting in a racist manner and they’re condemning it. When people don’t realize the character is racist, or a word, or a trope is racist (mystical black character, for instance) they don’t tag it as racist because they either don’t know, are unconscious of their own bias, of they don’t care that it’s racist. 

In the same manner, Person A who’s writing fic they know is dub-con will tag it, and Person B who thinks stalking someone and climbing in their window at night is romantic will NOT tag the same scenes as dub-con.

Which doesn’t make it any less jarring when I suddenly run into a fic that I would absolutely count as noncon/dubcon that’s not tagged for it. The intentions of the author don’t matter TO ME at that moment, what matters to me is that I’m trying to breathe while the romantic interest on my eReader is saying “aw, that’s so sweet.”

So, there’s multiple questions that come up for me -- I’m not a computer person, so while the A03 code is available for use, I wouldn’t know what to do with it if I tried. 

Is there a way to tag something from the outside? An overlay or side program (like an Xkit for A03) that would allow people to permanently blacklist certain tags or authors, tropes, etc? I know there are some hosting sites (unfortunately with ads) that basically funnel stuff from A03 to a reader. There was a big kerfluffle about it at the beginning of the year because OMG, someone is making money off my fanfic! protip, no, they weren’t. they were making money off someone else’s desire for a custom skin. The material itself was never leaving A03, it wasn’t stored anywhere else. A03 does not currently have a phone app and they don’t plan to have a phone app.

So, would it be possible for someone to write a phone-app that did a custom filter for the material. Blacklists are certainly possible, right?

Because here’s the thing; a lot of people who are racist don’t know that they are. Or they don’t care that they are. I have personally had a couple of hard conversations about racism (I’m not even going to call it “unconscious racism” because I am a grown-ass adult capable of reading, so if I act in a racist manner, I’m going to fucking own it. And apologize for it. And try to do better.) in my own work -- whitewashing a character at one point, using a quote from a black woman as a title for a story about Wanda. I’m still not entirely convinced that a Jewish/Romani woman is “white” in any sort of traditional sense. That said, I’m not a POC and I’m going to listen to the person who’s upset because of my usage and not my own feeling of “I don’t really think Wanda counts as white.” This may be partially because WANDA is whitewashed as shit in the MCU and a lot of people in the fandom do not read comics.

That further said, I made the changes as requested and apologized for it in the work/notes. And felt very uncomfortable when some of my white friends said “I’m sorry you had to deal with that.” I’m not sorry I had to deal with it. I wish I hadn’t DONE it, but I am glad that people felt comfortable enough with me to call my on my bullshit and I was able to make corrections and amends.

Still-- All of this boils down to: People are not going to, in good faith, tag their own fic as “don’t read this, I am racist.”  

Everything that gets done on A03 -- which is an Archive -- is voluntary by the author. A03′s policies are pretty much “tag to warn” or “tag that you’re NOT tagging to warn.” The only action A03 takes for inappropriate tagging is to ask the author to update the Warning to match, or choose not to warn. If there’s no compliance, A03 will assign the fic “choose not to warn.” But that’s the extend of their policies.

We all know this history; no censorship. Censorship is a slope that leads to fanwork disappearing. Because here’s another fact: it doesn’t matter what the intention is of censoring a story; that censorship is going to be applied badly. 

So, if A03 was going to ban racist fic, how long do you think it would take before the reporting system was flooded? Even legit reports of racism are going to take a while to read through, judge, contact the author, wait for possibly updates or retractions, and then removal.

A03′s staff are volunteers, and I understand there aren’t very many of them. There are six MILLION works on A03. No one could hope to read them all with a careful enough eye to catch all instances of harmful texts.

And we all know what’s going to happen: it’s easier to delete all stories that get complaints, rather than read them.

So, Fan A gets Fan C’s fic taken down for racial stereotyping and Fan C tells all of her friends, who go on a crusade to report every single one of Fan Q’s fics in retaliation (not because Fan Q did anything “wrong” but because they happened to post a blog about racial stereotyping in fandom) And we’re right back to strikethru.

Yet, censorship is one of those things that makes me very, very nervous. Do I think a white boy who writes a self-insert rape fantasy novella about violating and murdering Zoe Quinn should be allowed a platform? No, I don’t. (And neither did Amazon, who took it down fairly quickly once it was brought to their attention. But that’s only one case, where there are probably thousands of books that are personal attacks and are left merrily alone.)

There are a lot of books on the banned book list. If people thought they could get away with it, those books would be unpublished, unpersoned, black bagged. 

We all know that the rules get applied badly, by the people with the biggest mouths and the loudest complaints. So banning content on A03 does not seem to be the solution.

(Personal story time again, just skip this if you want.)

I came into fandom backward; I was a traditionally published erotica / romance writer first and moved into fandom after the collapse of several small publishing houses for various scandals that I won’t bore you with but you can look here if you want more information. 

Several years ago, I was in an anthology that i was Very Proud of, and I really like the editor I worked with, wanted to work with her again. She sent me a premise for submission that left me cold. Which is to say, she wanted to publish cuckolding stories. 

[x] <-- warning, that link is REALLY harsh and filled with some real WTF moments, from someone who’s pointing out the racism inherent in the system.

Especially when you consider the Mandingo aspects of the fantasy, it’s easy to see why just the existence of it is repulsive.

I declined the invitation to participate because I was deeply uncomfortable with the subject matter. 

I’m not saying that to get praise for my behavior. 

Because when the subject came up again about two or three years ago in some fandom discourse, I sided with my friends who were defending “no censorship, no matter what.”

(End of personal aside.)

Despite my personal feelings about the issue (ew, this is icky and racist and horrible and I would never write it) I still believe that I don’t have the right to say what someone else can write, read, or enjoy.

I’m trying to find the path between “this sort of reading material is harmful and I don’t think it should have a platform,” “this should be heavily tagged to avoid upsetting people,” and “there are people who feel that way about gay, non-christian stories as well.” And what’s more, I’m trying to find it in a way that doesn’t stifle authors’ voices.

Even with my idea of an overlay, that’s putting the burden on the people most affected-- someone would have to rate stories as “racist” or “not racist” (and even then, it’s seldom that clear cut. Microaggressions abound.) and the people best capable of doing that would be readers of color. Which hardly seems productive. Or fair. 

“Don’t like; don’t read” is often the calling card of fandom writers. I’ve said it myself. That’s what the fucking back button is for. But when I say it, I mean “I don’t want to hear your wank about Tony Stark in my inbox” not “I don’t want to be called out for racism when I wrote a story.”

https://ggmadeit.com/blog/why-i-cant-just-knit-the-story-of-a-black-knitter-during-civil-unrest/ -- I’m including this link because this piece really made me think. I can’t ever put down being a woman. I can’t read or watch horribly misogynistic work without being upset, and I have trouble sitting in the room with my male friends who insist on watching it and want to say “it’s only a movie.”

Being black is part of someone’s life. It can’t be erased just because it’s not convenient. Just because it interrupts your good time. It shouldn’t be put aside because “it’s just a story.”

As fans, we have to do better.

We all know what it’s like to be pushed out, to be made second best, to be asked when we’re going to get a real hobby, when are you going to grow up, why did you spend money on that merch? So we need to reach further. 

I don’t have answers. And even if I did, I’m not the one who needs to give them. What I need to do is listen to the people who have answers and HELP THEM get what they need.

We need to do better. We need to BE better.

[cataschism]

Michel cleans up his mess in half the time he’s designated for himself. He double - checks then triple - checks that his finger prints aren’t on anything with a UV light he brings. Re - counts his knives, the faucets, his tarps, and the Miles - pig’s ties. Nothing looks out of place. He’s sure his wife will place a call for her husband’s mysterious murder when she gets back from her monthly book &. wine night. 

He can finally burn the pages he’s written in for this family. &. then he’ll be done with them all until he’s given this case to look over. He makes it early, but blends into the crowd until Miles arrives. He’s just fidgety. He does love his journalists. Sits back &. keeps all identifying objects off of his face - no colors, no sunglasses, even keeps his face neutral. 

Michel understands that all murder is disasteful, but there was something about killing or torturing women that just didn’t sit right with him. It felt so cliche. Of - course you went after the isolated young woman &. probably ditched her body in the harbor. But how did no one see? &. Michel’s not even mad he didn’t think of it first, he just wants to know how. 

How did no one see? How did no one realize? It’s not like dumping a girl’s body in the harbor is inconspicuous, after all. There are better methods of disposal. Like pigs. ( oh, michel loves pigs! )

He puts his glasses back on, steps by the door.

[ SMS ] Standing by the door like a conspicuous stalker, Miles. I see you, though. I have the purple, heart-shaped sunglasses on. ☆

[ SMS ] They’re barely even sunglasses, so I can see you just fine.

Now, what could he tell Miles about the murder of this young woman? He bets, if he tries hard enough, he could remember her face. Maybe it’s someone he used to know.

holy shit, this guy is a lot. the connections miles tends to make are ... eclectic at best, eccentric always, and totally freakish at worst. this guy is creeping me out!! still, he deals. miles always deals.

roll with the punches, upshur.

miles is typing ...

[ SMS ] : Yeah. The harbor.

[ SMS ] : See you there. Don't be late.

he's locked the door behind him, keys turning the engine over of his red jeep, and he's got his foot on the gas pedal to slip out of his parallel parking spot. he flips off a driver he's in the middle of cutting off, effectively forcing them almost off the road as he settles in with a little low-effort background music.

arriving, miles parks near the bar, but makes his way towards the harbor's dividing line of land and sea.

she washed up a few days ago. i was trailing her movements before she disappeared. whole thing is fucking weird.

pulling out a cigarette from the worn pack in his pocket, he lights up with a heavy exhale. it's exhausting to do this, but it's worth it. he was a big fan of batman growing up. batman was a lot fucking richer.

funny how things change. he's starting to understand why heroes are for kids.

[ SMS ] : I'm here. Wearing a brown jacket. Don't sneak up on me. I hate that.

[lovemesomesurveys]

A How artistic are you? I’m not at all. Do you want to go to Africa? I’d love to stay at Giraffe Manor! AC/DC or Aerosmith? Aerosmith. 
Do you know what Armenia is?
  Yes.

B
 What’s your beer of choice (if any)?  Blech, none. Do you know the title of Buffalo Springfield’s one-hit wonder?  Okay, I didn’t recognize the name so I Googled it and yes, I am familiar with their one hit wonder. I actually wasn’t familiar with the song title either, but after reading the lyrics I quickly realized what song it was. Do you have a brother? (Do you like it that way?) I have two brothers, and yes I love them. Which bank do you use?  Not sharing that. C
 Which comedian do you most enjoy?  I think Kevin Hart is funny. Would you ever live in California?  I have all my life. Is it possible/likely that you’ll become a cat lady?  *Dog lady, but yes. How many different countries have visited? Just one. D
 Do you believe there’s a devil? Yes. But demons maybe?  Yes. Does eating dessert often make you feel guilty?  Nope. Can you legally drive?  I’m definitely old enough to have my license, but I don’t.  What have you been diagnosed with (if you don’t mind sharing)? Depression, anxiety, and other physical health stuff. E
 How often do you drink energy drinks?  I like to drink Starbucks Doubleshot energy drinks often. 
Where did you live when you were 11 years old? The house next door to where I live now, ha. We had our big move to the house next door to us haha about 10 years ago because our landlords wanted to install new flooring and stuff to our house, but since they had just finished this one they offered for us to just move in here lol. Do you like the actor who played Edward Scissorhands in that movie?
 Why not just say Johnny Depp? Anyway, yes, I think he’s a very talented actor. Have you ever felt an earthquake?  No, just aftershocks from one. F
 When was the last time you saw your father one-on-one? Yesterday. Do you think French is the most beautiful language?  I don’t know what I’d say is the most beautiful language. Is Friday your favorite day of the week?  No. All the days are the same for me, so meh. Have you listened to Jimi’s song ‘Fire?’  Doesn’t sound familiar. G
 Do you have real gold jewelry?  No. How often do you watch ‘Gossip Girl’?  I never have. Is Google your homepage?  Yeah. 
Do you like Geico’s commercials? Most of them are annoying. The gecko character is cute, though. H
 When did you last feel happy? Uhhh. Do you prefer Hollister, Hot Topic, or H&M?  Hot Topic is the only one I shop at now, but I used to shop at the other 2 as well. Did you dress up last Halloween?  Nope. I stopped doing that a few years ago. Would you voluntarily watch the History Channel?  Yeah and I do if there’s something of interest on. I
 Have you ever been on an island?  No. I live on one in Animal Crossing, though. ha. Would you be able to locate Indonesia on a globe?  I think so. Do you know if Iceland or Greenland has more ice?  Greenland. I remember it’s the opposite of their name for some reason. 
Did you watch the last presidential inauguration?  No. J
 Do you enjoy jogging?  No. On which instrument could you most easily play ‘Jingle Bells’?  I’ve played it on the piano. How much do you know about John Lennon? *shrug* I know some stuff. Do you know how Jell-O is made?  I know how to make Jell-O with the mix, but no I don’t know how the mix itself is made. K
 Have you tried Krispy Kreme doughnuts? (Was it love at first bite?) Yeah, but no they’re definitely not my favorite. They’re not real donuts to me, they’re just pure sugar.  
How many pairs of khaki pants do you own? “Uh, khakis?” ha, if you know, you know. Anyway, I don’t own any. 
Have you ever been a fan of the Killers?  Yeah. L
 Does it bother you when couples are lovey-dovey in public? No, unless they’re having like full on makeout sessions, straddling each other and feeling each other up and whatnot lol. Hand holding/locked arms/arm around each other, hugging, little pecks, and just being playful with each other is cute.  
Do you have your own lighter (why or why not)?  No. I don’t have a need for one. In how many languages (besides English) can you count to 100?  I can in Spanish. What’s your favorite lollipop flavor? Not a lollipop fan. M
 Do you believe in miracles (why or why not)? I do because I'm a woman of faith. What do you think of shows like Maury and Jerry Springer? I used to like watching Maury, Jerry Springer was just for laughs.  
Do you care that Mars (the candy co.) uses deadly animal testing? I haven’t heard that... I’d have to fact check. How did you form your opinion of marijuana? Based off the research supporting that it has a lot of benefits. I was especially swayed when I saw how it helped cancer patients.

N
 How often do you sleep naked?  Never. I wouldn’t find that comfortable at all, I very much like being clothed.  Do you actually check the Nutrition Facts before eating something?  Not usually, but I sometimes will just out of curiosity. 
Who is your favorite musical artist/band beginning with ‘N’? Nirvana. 
How nerdy are you (in what ways)? I’m socially awkward, for one. I also cared about school and did well, which is often considered nerdy. Also, a book nerd, Star Wars nerd, Marvel and DC movies nerd...  I enjoy those things so I don’t care, but they’re deemed “nerdy.” What do you think about olives?  Black olives are good, green olives are gross. Are you much of an outdoorsy person? Not at all. The only time I enjoy being outside is when I’m sitting out at the beach. How big of an Oprah fan are you?  I don’t really consider myself a fan. How often do you shop online?
  Quite often. P
 Are you looking forward to your prom? If you already went, how was it? My prom was over a decade ago D: Anyway,  I danced with the guy I had a huge crush on at the time, so hey it wasn’t too bad. How are your local policemen? I think they do a pretty good job overall.  What is your ideal PB&J sandwich like? Just peanut butter and grape jelly, pretty simple. What do you think of the movie ‘Pineapple Express’? I could not get into that movie at all.  Q
 How true is the saying, ‘quitters never win and winners never quit’?  I mean, can’t say “never”, but the main point from the saying makes sense. Do you prefer Quiznos or Subway and why?  I’ve gone to Subway many times, but I think I’ve only been to a Quiznos once or twice. Have you learned the quadratic formula yet? (Do you remember it?) I think I actually remember it. What is the one question you most want to ask someone and who?
  I don’t know. R
 How many rooms are in your home?  2 bedrooms. 
Do you like raspberries?
  Nah. What’s one of your best memories from during a rain storm? Hmm. I don’t know, but I just really love that kind of weather. 
Have you actually read Shakespeare’s ‘Romeo & Juliet’?  Yeah, my freshman year in high school. S
 Do you know any Sign Language?  I know the alphabet and a few sayings. What is your sleeping schedule generally like?  Oh, my sleeping schedule is an absolute joke. How well do you sing? I can’t sing well at all. How often do you listen to 60-70’s music? Now and then. I actually have several songs on my main Spotify playlist from those decades. T What do you think of Twitter?  I like being able to post my random thoughts and following certain celebrities and just interesting people for funny and interesting stuff. How much do you value the Ten Commandments?  I value them a lot. Are there many trees where you live?  Not really. 
How much taller/shorter do you wish to be? “I wish I was a little bit taller.” 🎶

U
 Where do you usually buy your underwear?  Various places. How do you define ‘ugly’?  It goes a lot deeper than just the outer appearance. Do you like to shop at Urban Outfitters?  I’ve only been to an actual store a couple times and I’ve checked out their website a few times, but I just think they’re ridiculously overpriced. V
 Would you like being described as ‘voluptuous’? No one would use that word to describe me. 
For listening to music, do you like to crank up the volume or keep it calm? I like it at a reasonable level, I don’t need it blaring.  Do you ever watch the annual Victoria’s Secret fashion show? They cancelled that a few years ago, but I never had any interest in watching that. 
Would you agree that ‘variety is the spice of life’?  Yeah. W
 Are you currently on wireless Internet?  Yeah, that’s all I have. I haven’t had to connect to a wifi router or whatever with a cord in a very long time. Can you recall memories of learning how to whistle? I still can’t do it. Do you go to White Castle or just vicariously through ‘Harold & Kumar'? I’ve never actually been to one cause they don’t have one anywhere near me (they’re on the east coast, I’m a west coast gal). I’ve only had the the White Castle burgers from the store that you cook in the microwave. I actually like them, but I’m sure the real deal is even better. X
 Why did you need your most recent x-ray and what were the results? I had to get a CT Scan a couple years ago. When it comes to ‘xoxo’, do you interpret ‘x’ as the hug or the kiss?  It’s hugs and kisses, so the X’s are hugs. What does X stand for in Roman numerals? Can you write the previous number?  X is 10, IX is 9. Why do you think xylophones are only popular with young children? That’s true, that is a pretty common baby toy. At least it was when I was little. Also, I played the xylophone in music class in elementary school. I don’t know why that’s a thing with kids. Y
 Can you explain the meaning of the yin-yang symbol? Opposite, but complimentary principles. Like, you can’t have good without bad, lightness without darkness, etc. It’s about balance. Do people more often mistake you as being younger or older than you are? Younger. Did you know that yawning is contagious?  Yeah.  Would you like a bottle of Yoo-Hoo or it’s not really your thing?  I actually like Yoo-Hoo, but I prefer it in the little carton or whatever with the straw (kinda like a Capri Sun, but it’s a box carton). It’s the perfect size, not too much. The strawberry one is my favorite. I haven’t had one in a long time, though. Z
 How many places’ zip codes do you know by heart?  Uhh, not many. What comes to mind when I say ‘Zero to Hero’? Disney’s Hercules movie.

[cataschism]

indulge me, if you will ... any beth headcanons to share? i'd love to read some if you have any :'))

I’ll link as we go along to posts that you, Hal, made, and that I’m referencing when I describe Beth!

Less of a headcanon, more of an observation: I’ve noticed in Beth’s dialogue she doesn’t often use people’s names; in contrast, she uses their descriptors. Older brother, naive sister. She only uses Josh when he’s not awake, as if she doesn’t want to be heard. I am however connecting this with your post about Beth being called the perfect one - &. am using this for the fact that she derives characteristics from people and then identifies them that way.

As a continuation, I don’t think Beth cares that much about the way she voices her opinions. In our thread, specifically this reply: (xxx) Beth asks Josh: “did you even like me at all?” which, while a PTSD dream, I think Beth would have asked if given a chance post-death. I think Beth is a very verbally abrasive person, but you don’t see it much. ( This also doesn’t mean that she doesn’t feel guilt for being this way, but rather, she can’t stop herself from saying her mind. )

These now are like, not headcanons based in observations or game easter eggs etc, but rather what I have felt intuitively writing Beth, and building her outwards. 

I don’t think she wanted to be an actress, partially due to the family’s director / fame / movie background. (Hal post about the family biz, xxx) I think she probably wanted to be in some stem field, going down the route of being the “perfect one,” (xxx) by going into an extremely competitive field. Additionally, she didn’t wanna be a doctor / lawyer, but a researcher. Had she lived, she might have specifically gone down the route of exploring medication effects. ( If not for Josh, xxx, related meta ) Officially maybe a psychiatrist, if she had to do clinical work, but she liked research the best.

She smells like vanilla perfume, because it’s easy to find &. usually fairly cheap ( just something she can find easily ) but she also really liked the scent of pineapples. Perfume was pretty common for Beth.

Beth relates a lot of her life in the twin mentality, as in she thinks of things in twos. Her parents, Chris+Josh, her+Hannah. Things are often doubled up in Beth’s mind, and it takes a lot of work to unravel those people to be singles. I think that’s why she likes for people to have descriptors, so she can easily define each person solo, rather than just thinking about people together. ( I also don’t think she supported Hannah’s crush on Mike for this reason, that their descriptors “didn’t match” to Beth and therefore they were incompatible. Right before her death, she was vindicated in this aspect. )

I also think Beth’s way of describing Josh was “resilient,” Hannah was obviously “naive.” I think Beth called herself either “stubborn” or “honest,” both not necessarily positive or negative. Naive & honest worked because Beth could tell her like it was and she wouldn’t be tricked, as well as stubborn & resilient worked because they would do something to the end, together.  Personally, Emily is seen as the “bitchy” archetype, but I think she saw Mike that way. Emily was probably “opinionated,” if not “insightful.”

[cataschism]

❛ I feel like most people usually default to fifteen - years - old, give or take. Anything before high school is a little young, miss Belladonna. ❜

     “ At  what  age  do  you  think  it  is  right  to  set  a  child  upon  mortal  combat? ”

[reasonsilovemywife]

Been reading up on violent extremism the last few months.  For reasons, I'm sure you'll understand. A couple days ago, Tulsi Gabbard announced she's leaving the democratic party.  I'll attach a link to the video she released.  It's about 1 minute 20 seconds or so.  Take a listen, and then read on as I share my thoughts on this https://twitter.com/TulsiGabbard/status/1579788950696185859 Okay, now lets play a game we'll call "spot the dog whistle" Lets start - there's a few, but the two big ones we'll talk about are: 1)  Global Cabal of Elite Warmongers.  If you're familiar at all with alt-right and extremist groups, the words, "Global Cabal" directly translates to "The Jews".   This comes from The New World Order conspiracy theory which is directly based off an anti-Semitic Russian book called "The Protocols of the Elders of Zion" the protocol in these conspiracy theories suggest a "Global Cabal" of Jews are secretly behind everything and pulling all the strings around the world.  Think of all the illuminati conspiracy theories - just the folks believe that the illuminati is only made up of Jewish people.  This is the main justification for alt-right neo-nazi's to not accept Jewish people as "white" and viewing them as their enemy.  This is the foundation of the Q-Anon conspiracy theories as well. 2)  "Anti-White Racism" this is basically the tagline of the Great Replacement Conspiracy Theory.  Because most conspiracy theories stack on top of each other and expand, this is an add on to "The New World Order" conspiracy theory.  This theory states that multi-culturalism and diversity is just a plot from "The Global Cabal" (aka The Jews) to cause a white genocide.  That being accepting to other cultures, white people will have less, and then eventually be eventually replaced.  This conspiracy theory is especially dangerous because it fuels active violence against minorities and minority communities.  The Buffalo Shooter was a believer in The Great Replacement Theory.   Tulsi has gone into the mindset of the White Supremacist QAnon Conspiracy Theorist.   Some of us saw this coming when she was the guest speaker at CPAC this year.  During her time there, she said she felt "right at home" there.  She felt right at home at a conference that set up their room to be shaped like a rune used by the Nazi Party and modern day White Supremacist.  And this year at the Dallas CPAC one of the featured speakers was the Hungarian Prime Minister who actively spoke out against race mixing.  It's no wonder someone who felt right at home in those environments would now  be promoting white supremacy conspiracy theories.   Listen to what people say.  When they tell you who they are, believe them.

[rainagainstmywindow]

All Shades of You (Chapter 5)

Happy Birthday to Percy Jackson! This is super fluffy so it commemorates the Percabeth anniversary as well too I believe. Thanks as always to my lovely beta @san-penedo and enjoy the small lifeguard!Percy i managed to sprinkle in there! (please search #ramwfics or #ASoY for previous chapters)

Percy groaned as he attempted to read the same passage of his history textbook for what appeared to be the hundredth time. The exhaustion that weighed over him thanks to swim practice two hours prior didn’t help either, nor the fact that he had to wake up early tomorrow for his dog-walking gig. He would have little time the rest of the weekend to catch up on homework since he’d taken on extra shifts at the local pool where he worked as a lifeguard to make up for what he couldn’t work during the weekdays now that he was in the swim team.

He got halfway through the passage once again but it was no use, the words just taunted him from the page, dancing around in weird, curvy waves. Frustrated, he slammed the book shut, immediately flinching at the sound. He hadn’t heard anyone come in but Smelly Gabe would give him hell for making any noise during his precious “TV time.” Percy slowly poked his head out of his room and was relieved to find he was home alone. His stepfather was probably out drinking with his buddies and his mom should’ve been heading home from the candy shop. He felt his phone buzz. It was a text from Sally.

Will probably get there in a few hours. Had to close up late and I stopped to get some groceries. Don’t wait up. Love you

Percy texted back a quick reply, knowing full well she was probably closing up but at a new job. She had not wanted to admit it when he’d asked, too concentrated on congratulating him for making the team, but this definitely put a strain on money. His school tuition had already been too much even when he was working more frequently. He wondered once again if this was worth it, if he was worth it. He knew his mom wanted him to have what she didn’t, to finish high school and make it out of this neighbourhood. But he’d only managed to screw up every chance he’d gotten so far, and college just seemed too out of reach. His stepfather seemed to agree with it all being a waste. I won’t waste a dime on your little delinquent kid, Sally! Percy had heard him and his mother arguing after she’d gotten Percy the interview at Goode. As if Smelly Gabe had ever contributed anything but anxiety to Percy’s life. He’d silently prayed he wouldn’t be allowed into the school, didn’t really see how considering his record and poor grades. But, somehow, he’d made it in.

He made his way into the kitchen and rummaged through the fridge. He’d made sure to have an extra large lunch but he had not eaten since practice and he was starving. Percy looked at the clock. 10:32 pm. He figured Beckendorf would be at his apartment, getting back from work himself. Last year he would alternate his time between practice and Beckendorf’s apartment. Most days Grover would join them and they would pass the time bothering Beckendorf about Silena or playing with Mrs. O’Leary. Yet another thing Percy had screwed up when he got himself kicked out. He slammed the fridge door too, this time flinching because he knew he couldn’t afford to break the old thing. It’s not like Beckendorf had stopped inviting him over. He’d even hung out there a few days ago. Percy just couldn’t help but feel guilty whenever he saw him.

In the end, his own boredom and frustration won and he found himself in front of Beckendorf’s door. Mrs. O’Leary must’ve heard him come because Percy could hear her barking through the door. A few seconds later there was Beckendorf staring down at him, still im his mechanic overalls. “Hey! Everything okay?” Percy didn’t miss how his dark eyes scanned his face. There had been a couple of times last year when he’d knocked on his door later at night looking worse for wear.

“Yeah,” he answered casually, “I just got bored. Can I come in?”

“Yeah, of course.” Beckendorf stepped aside, making sure to hold on to Mrs. O’Leary’s colar. The large Rottweiler had started bounding happily at the sight of Percy, who scratched her ears on his way in. Beckendorf knew Percy too well. “You hungry?” He asked as they shuffled into his living room/kitchen.

Percy tried not to look too embarrassed as he admitted: “I’m starving.”

************

“What?” Percy asked Grover for the second time. He’d been too focused on a scrawny kid flopping around in the pool in front of him to hear what his friend was saying. He’d seen the kid before, not the strongest swimmer but Percy could tell it was more due to lack of confidence than anything else. He’d seen him manage quite well in the shallower parts of the pool. Today it seemed like he’d finally decided to try out the deeper end though. The kid’s parents were nowhere to be seen, and Percy could see the panic starting to creep into his face as he realized the water was too deep to stand in. “I’ll be right back.”

Percy slid into the water. He didn’t want to make a scene since the kid wasn’t actually drowning and he wanted to give him a chance to get out of there by himself. The boy spotted him right away, relief evident in his face. Percy was tall enough to stand in this part of the pool so he made his way slowly towards him. “Hey there.” The kid didn’t make a dash to hold onto him so Percy knew hadn’t gotten too desperate, but the way he was flopping around would tire him out soon enough. “What’s your name?”  

The kid, looking mildly embarrassed, told him it was Trevor. Slowly but surely, Percy got Trevor to paddle to a shallower part of the pool. His parents finally made an appearance not soon after. “Hey ma’am,” Percy called. They were clearly here just to pick him up and they didn’t look too happy about it. The father hadn’t even looked up from his phone. “Is this your kid?” The mother, a woman that appeared to be blonde with unusually dark skin (through his limited color palette Percy assumed it was due to a bad tanning job), looked him up and down but didn’t find it within herself to answer. “I had to help Travis swim away from the deeper end of the pool. He’s not a strong enough swimmer yet for you to leave him on his own like-”

“Oh, I’m sorry, are you complaining about doing your job?” The woman’s tone made Percy’s blood boil but he clenched his fists to keep his temper in check. He didn’t need any complaints going to his supervisor. He tried to apologize but the woman was too busy yanking Trevor out of the water to care. Percy tried to put on a fake smile as he waved goodbye to the kid and sulked back to his chair.

Grover looked distastefully at the spot where the woman had gone. “A plus parenting, huh?”

Percy rolled his eyes in agreement and slumped back into his chair. “What were you saying before?”

“Oh right,” Grover tried to calm his nerves, but he’d never been a good liar and Percy knew him pretty well by now. Grover was hoping to catch Percy in a good mood since he knew he wouldn’t like this next part very much. “Well, you know how you’ve been telling me you’ve been struggling with homework lately?”

That question alone was enough to hit a nerve. “I’m not struggling, Grover. I was just saying that I’m tired and I hate reading.”

“Yeah, well I was talking to Annabeth-” Grover held up a pleading hand before Percy could interrupt him- “She’s really smart, Percy! She could help you out after school!”

“Why did you have to tell her anything? I don’t even know her!”

“I didn’t tell her anything about that!” Grover argued. He knew it was hard for Percy to talk about people about his dyslexia and ADHD; he wouldn’t betray his trust like that. Little did Percy know, however, that Annabeth was in the same boat. “I just told her you needed some help with some subjects because I know she’s really good at all that stuff and she actually volunteered herself to tutor you.” It had taken Grover aback a bit actually. Annabeth was nice and always there to help, but she didn’t take on to new people right away. Grover hadn’t gotten the impression that she disliked Percy, but it usually took her a lot longer to show interest in new people. The only other person he knew she’d gotten along with right away was Thalia. Now that Grover thought about it, Percy and Thalia did have a lot in common, though.

“Tutor me?” Percy was looking thoroughly annoyed, eyes fixed on the water before him.

“She’s not going to charge you or anything,” Grover winced at his own comment. It was hard to manage Percy’s temper around this subject. He hated feeling pitied and wasn’t big on asking for help. “She’s just trying to help and she’s new here. She doesn’t know many people besides me and Thalia.” Percy sighed. “She’s the smartest person I know, Percy. I trust her. You met her. She’s cool.” Grover could tell he was going to give in. He knew Percy was worried about keeping his grades up. His swim coach had let him on the team under the condition that he would get his GPA up enough to get out of probation from the school. Grover was also secretly excited about his two best friends possibly becoming friends themselves.

“Fine,” Percy finally said, bringing his whistle up to his lips at the sight of a group of small girls chasing each other. He gave one firm blow and pointed at the sign that read No Running when they both whipped their heads towards him. “I’ve got some free time on Monday after practice.”

*************

Annabeth tapped her pen impatiently against the table she’d settled in at the library. It didn’t help her temper that today she found out that this same pen, which she’d been using since the beginning of the semester, was bright red. The color of romance, her father had once jokingly told her. And danger, Annabeth now thought. Yeah, that seemed more accurate in her case.

The guy was almost an hour late. She was about to give up when she heard what sounded like a chair being knocked over, a loud hush, and a quick apology. A few seconds later, there was Percy Jackson. His hair was still wet from what she assumed was swim practice and he was holding a battered skateboard under his arm. Annabeth was once again struck by the intense green of his eyes. She thought she’d gotten used to the color after seeing it everywhere for the past couple of weeks, but it still floored her. There was nothing else that was that exact shade of green.

“You’re late.”

He at least managed to look guilty as he pulled a chair out noisily, earning him a death glare from the librarian at the desk. “I know. I’m so sorry. We ended late and the subway broke down or something.”

Annabeth would’ve shrugged that off as a half-assed excuse but every time she’d gotten on the subway that week it had stopped for almost an hour. Percy also had a very sincere way of saying things that kind of put her on edge. She waved her hand dismissively. “It’s fine. Did you bring your book?” He pulled a history textbook from his battered backpack. She tried to ignore the fact he’d dogeared the page. “Fall of Constantinople, right?”

“Yeah.” She could tell this whole ordeal embarrassed him a little. It was becoming harder and harder to remember she was annoyed at him. “I just...can’t seem to understand why this city was so important. From what I managed to extract from the other chapter, it seems like this whole empire was already done for.”

“I mean it was certainly in decline, and the Ottoman Turks had taken the Balkans and Anatolia by this point. So that made Constantinople the last city holding up what used to be this seemingly unbreachable empire.” Annabeth saw Percy nodding along and jutting down some notes. There was no other way to call it, it was cute. “Constantinople also represented Mehmed’s rival religion.”

“Wait, so he tried to take it again? This Meh...however you say his name? He’d already tried before, right?”

“No, that was his dad.” Annabeth leaned closer to the passage Percy was looking at. He pushed the book towards her so she could get a better look. The font was so tiny that Annabeth almost got dizzy. It would’ve taken her almost an hour to decipher just one paragraph. She pushed the book back towards him, hoping he hadn’t noticed. Thankfully, she had always been good at remembering names and they’d gone over this in her school in San Francisco last year. “Murad was the one who failed to take the city and then his son Mehmed tried again and succeeded. He got this Hungarian artillery expert, Urban I think he was called, to build him a cannon powerful enough to take down the walls of the city.”

“Sorry, could you spell that last name?”

Something about the question made Annabeth falter for a second. Percy appeared to understand most of what they were talking about. It was the names that seemed to stump him. It sounded a little familiar. “Sure.” Annabeth spelled the name out for him and she watched him make some new notes. She thought about how Grover never failed to bring up Percy one way or another when she complained about homework assignments. “Once Mehmed seized the city he used the emperor’s famed cathedral as a mosque. I can’t remember the name though. Is it in your book? I don’t know if they’d want you to know it for class.”

Annabeth observed as Percy scanned the page; she could practically feel the frustration oozing off of him. She was absolutely certain her suspicions were correct when she saw him push the book a bit far away, a trick she herself had tried many times. “Hey Percy,” he grunted in response, still absorbed in the textbook, “are you maybe...dyslexic?”

She felt him tense right away. Grover hadn’t told her for a reason, it was clearly a touchy subject for him. Annabeth was grateful that Grover had also clearly failed to tell Percy about her. “I just think that’s why Grover brought all of this up.” He was now looking at her, a complicated look on his face, like he didn’t know whether or not he should be getting offended. “It’s just that,” it had always been hard for her to talk about it too. It was like a cosmic joke for someone that loved reading so much to be made in a way that made it almost impossible to do so. “I am too, dyslexic I mean. Just looking at that book just now made me want to throw up.” His expression immediately softened. Annabeth noted the way he could easily go from one emotion to another. “That font size is awful.”

“I know right. And it’s and older edition so it doesn’t have an audio version.”

“I think I still have one for my textbook last year. I don’t know if it has everything in this one but-”

“No, yeah. That’d be great! I mean if you don’t mind-”

Annabeth chuckled, definitely cute. “I don’t, Percy.”

He thanked her once again and they finally exchanged numbers. They got through the main events of Constantinople. Annabeth remembered everything pretty well and Percy took notes. She felt light as a feather the whole time. She tried to ignore it. It’d never been this way with anyone she liked in the past. Her crush on Luke had been anything but light. Being with Percy was just nice. She didn’t know about the whole ‘soulmate’ ordeal, she didn’t even know if she liked him that way really, but she definitely wanted to hang out with him again.

An hour later he casually checked his phone and almost jumped off his chair, earning him yet another glare from the librarian. Annabeth tried to mask her snort as a cough. “Sorry,” he said quickly. He turned to Annabeth. “I have to go. Are you free Thursday?” She was pretty sure she would be but she’d have to check. She could tell he was in a hurry though so she told Percy she’d text him. “Thanks again! See you then.”

Annabeth smiled silently to herself as Percy hurried out of the library, bumping into several chairs and failing beautifully at making a quiet exit. Her smiled melted when she looked down at the pen she was still holding. Bright red.

[optimisticcritique]

Gotham 4x17 - Review

The season is getting close to the end, things are about to get crazy(er). Let’s see what crazy stuff happens this week. Tagging characters that I mainly focus on in the review. Sorry if it is kind of long.

Getting right into the action! Go get him Bruce!

How did Jerome have time to get dressed, meet back up with Scarecrow, release Tetch, and send Tetch to hypnotize the guy before Bruce got there? He wasn’t that far behind Jerome. No GPS? Was he stuck in traffic? Maybe Tetch hypnotized his way through the traffic to get there first. I mean, that’s what I would do if I could hypnotize people.

Xander…yeah, seeing spoilers, I predict this is Jerome’s twin brother, right? This is the one time I wish I hadn’t seen spoilers, no big reveal.  

Oh boy, he has a bomb. Duck and cover!

See, now Jim and Harvey aren’t that far behind Bruce. Did they take the short cut?

Bruce trying to help the guy. I love it but I don’t know if it’ll work.

Question: Why did Tetch hypnotize the guy to trigger the bomb by a clock? Wouldn’t it make more sense to have him press it on like a key phrase (like “if someone asks you about Jerome/Xander, press it”) so that Bruce couldn’t have time to jump away? Or was killing Bruce (or anyone else) not the intention?

Shooting the clock! Quick thinking. Learning tricks from being a Tetch survivor.

Aaand he has a watch. Of course he does. Well, at least you tried.

Wait, it’s the dinner already? That happened fast. How did Jerome get them all together? How did he contact Oswald and Oswald just agreed? Did it take some time or was he reluctant at first? Were they all agreeable at first? Did he threaten them? Bribe them with free food?

This is the villain dinner I always wished for…if you had told me we would have all these villains together in one place seasons ago, I would have been floored. I probably would have freaked out, running down the street while yelling “Yessss! Bring me all the villains! A few years can’t come fast enough!!!!” as all the neighborhoods stare at me.

I love villains interacting. I also love seeing characters that have been previously introduced, having scenes with one another that they have never shared scenes with before. It’s the individual character build up and mixture of personalities.  

The only thing missing from this wonderful dinner is Ed :( I guess The Riddler isn’t considered “freak” enough for them…

“Put all questions on ice until the end” Awe the ice puns. Well great, now I want to know what Victor’s question was going to be. I do love how he just raises his hand, like he’s in school and trying not to interrupt the teacher.

“Mr. Oswald” lol well, that’s an interesting choice. I would have thought he would call Oswald by his Penguin name. Really gives me Ed flashbacks to “Mr. Penguin”, which is fun.

Oh Oswald looks just…I have no words. What a fashion icon. I love his fur coat and hair. Real perfection. Fish would be so proud!  One of these days, I really want to see him doing his hair in an actual scene, instead of being off screen. I’m curious how long he spends on it.  

This is Sofia’s old place that Oswald took over XD Wait, Oswald hosted? Option A: Jerome barged into the house and just told Oswald that they are having it there or Option B: Oswald wants to seem supportive, just so he can be involved and know what is coming for his city. Me: Probably both.  

“Anything for a friend” pfft uh huh. I bet. He is probably planning a back stab or just waiting for Jerome to fail.

Got to say, I wasn’t sure about the new scarecrow actor but he’s pretty good. His facial expressions are dead on.

Yeah, Oz doesn’t seem very keen on these plans. His facial reactions say it all.

He’s probably thinking either “What I have I gotten myself into” or “I should have made more food”  

Alfred!!! Where have you been? Been partying? Taking a spa day for a couple of episodes?

Jim, no! Let Bruce do his thing! Sure, he could potentially die horribly but be reasonable here…

Yeah, Bruce will not take no for an answer. Will Jim change his mind or will Bruce take on a mask again?  

“Maybe he wants him to build him something” You can’t fool us! We all know what he is really after!

Yeah, that woman is probably regretting not calling in sick to work today.

Jerome trying to whistle… it wouldn’t surprise me if that is the only thing he hates about his new stitched up face. Who cares that his face is different…he can’t whistle anymore!!!

“Don’t bother going to security! They are all…headless” Wait, you have a gun. You could shoot them in the heads but not cut off their heads. How are they headless?  

“Drop the gun!” “Oh you are such a stick in mud” Would you have preferred a western style shoot out or for him to just be like “Oh hey Jerome. Go on ahead and do what you do with the gun. Have fun” as he casually walks past you?

Xander knowing Bruce’s father…hmm…

“What time is it?!” Tool-no-Mail-no-Extra time!!! “Riddle time!!!” …that was my next guess.

Wow, everyone is so loving this. I guess this has been going on for quite awhile.

Speaking of which, what did happen between that pier scene and now? Did Oswald and Ed become friends again? Make a deal? Just go their own ways? I feel like there is something missing here.  

Oh, you know Ed is just loving this. This reminds me of that episode back in season one (1x09?), where he is listening to a game show on the radio and answering the questions as he is working. You know that was one of his inspirations for this!

Bet you that brief case has no money even in it. The Riddler is just that cocky.

“The street demons!” Lol the way that he says that! I just love it when he does voices or accents. Pulling out all the stops to make things extra.  

The Riddler totally doesn’t even seem like he cares about what is going on in this guy’s life.

How happy he gets when he hears “Riddler”. Not many people have called him that in the show yet, have they?

“I’ve fallen on hard times but happy to be here with you Riddler” I relate to this on a spiritual level. Ed making my week better <3

Ooh this Lila has the best get up. Please tell me Ed made it himself.

Lars, you are over thinking! Don’t ever over think it!

I would half expect the crowd to give out answers but you just know they want to see people getting tortured.

“Rabid sack of rats” Awe man, I was hoping for the barracuda stapled to the forehead….you know, for curiosity purposes…

“Enough!” Nooooo! Never! Don’t ruin this Lee!

I actually saw an interview right before this episode, with Cory saying the episode will end “hot” and “romantic”. It won’t surprise me if Lee/Ed kiss by the end of this.

Wow Lee, you look stunning. Love the new hair.  Also love Ed’s too.

What’s up with the new hair styles lately though? First we mourn see Jervis and Harvey getting their longer hair cut. Now we see Ed and Lee both have hair cuts, with Oswald serving up a new hairstyle. Did we miss a national “change your hair day” in Gotham or something? Or did one person do it and the rest got jealous so they changed their hair too? Or did the actors all decide to get new hair styles at the same time?

“We put Oswald on ice” you make it sound like you both attempted to kill him or something. The vagueness.

So I guess Ed knows about Sofia. Is he impressed with her doing that or not so because she didn’t finish the job?

“Whatever the hell this is, it’s over” “I don’t think so” I’m just waiting for this to be turned into a reaction gif. Like, people upset about something to Gotham writers and Gotham writers going “I don’t think so” or vice versa.

“And my name…is The Riddler” Awe so we are on this again. So, he still isn’t whole. Funny how he is still saying this to people a season later. Also, Oswald called him Ed…but maybe it is because he called him The Riddler first? Or “because we have history” thing? …Even though he and Lee technically have history too, with working together at the GCPD.

*challenges Ed* First: Lee that is bold and I am impressed with you. Second: Noooo! I knew this was going to happen but I didn’t want it to happen so quickly. We only got to see him have one contestant, who we didn’t even see get tortured. Let Ed/Cory have more fun! Let us have our showman Riddler!

Who is this woman? Just a random character that’ll die this episode or the next?

Umm are you implying Jerome is a dog? ;) Also, isn’t that cage a little bit small to fit Jerome in? I just picture her trying to push and squeeze him into that cage, just barely closing it.

Oswald and Butch reunited again! I kind of missed their…complicated relationship to be honest. They also have a long history, probably knowing each other as long as Oswald knew Fish so I can only imagine what Oswald will think of this new Butch.

Oswald’s eyes when he sees Butch. Yeah, totally unprepared for that.

“I will be honest, I like it…” It’s like when a friend pretends to like your bad hair cut, even when they know it looks bad.

“Just came from brunch with Jerome Valeska…” Oh yeah, that’s a great way to start this. He says it so casually, like it was just an everyday civil affair with food and great conversation. Bet he thought he would never utter those words though XD  

“Seemed to involve a great deal of paint” lol that was totally not the point of that, you forgot to mention the mass crazy Ozzie.

Oswald wearing green gloves with that outfit.

“You must be all out of allies” “Don’t be modest” Yeah, he still has Ed as an ally so he isn’t COMPLETELY out of allies. He has…one….

Again, what happened with Ed and why Butch? Option A: He asked Ed, Ed refused, saying he wanted to do his own thing. Option B: He started to ask Ed, Ed talked about a Riddle factory and he immediately went “yeah, nope. Never mind” Option C: He knows Jerome will want someone who is a “freak” to add to the group. Oswald also wants someone strong (let’s face it, Ed is not) and not easily killed. Butch fits that mark, not Ed. He doesn’t want Ed to get involved with this mess either. Which I think is the most likely. Option Q: Forgetting own writing.

Oh, you just totally made him angry. You won’t like him when he’s angry! …Wait, totally wrong universe and different comics.

Okay, I know you look bad now Butch. But look at the bright side, you’re strong, you’re practically immortal, and-with a good hair dye and spray tan-you could look fairly the same. Think positively!

*pushes Oswald on the floor* Nooo! Don’t ruin the majestic hair and coat! They must be protected at all costs!

I don’t know why but, even though I already love Oswald, this episode has made me love him a million times more… *stares at his hair and coat* Not sure why…

“like a flower” well, that choice of words is threatening but also not.

Oh sure, you only want them involved when you want something. It’s a two way street, Jim. Now you have to let him risk his life and you can’t say a thing.

“I love you” In your own twisted way, I bet.

*does a heart with his hands* Jerome fans: Awe that’s what we do when we see you on screen… :’D

He’s freely letting Harvey and Jim in? No booby traps? It kind of looks like a place that would have traps like that.

Ecco! In the same episode as the riddle factory…Some say this woman would be Harley Quinn because she is devoted to this guy…I kind of doubt it. There is also an Echo who worked with the Riddler (although I think Query was the blonde, not like it matters) The name is spelled wrong so she is most likely a throw away character but…why Ecco? Why use a similar name to tease fans?! Why?!    

“Oh my god, there’s two of them!” Oh Harvey…seriously, this is a Cameron/Jerome fan’s dream right there. Not one but two? Alittle over a season ago one didn’t exist and the other was “dead”.

“Please don’t touch that! That is very sensitive equipment” Yeah, sure looks sensitive to me. Especially the couple of buttons that turns it on.

Jerome doing yoga because why not?

Him waving right when Jim sees… o_o It’s like he knew…  

How much you want to bet that someone followed Jerome? If Firefly followed to the office, you can bet he didn’t go see Ecco on his own. It’s the only way I can see him getting out of there.

“She thinks stapling a live barracuda to someone’s head isn’t damn good entertainment” The nerve! Wait…did he just say “damn good”? Has he ever said that word before? :O But your fake swearing was so pure, what has the world done to you?!

I think it is interesting that he only puts his hat on when he speaks a riddle.

I’m not going to even attempt these riddles. I suck at logic.

Scenes like this make me wonder if we will ever get a “whole” Ed or just get this Riddler from now on.

Wow. Who knew the Riddler was so upset about all this?

Lee’s face…yup, she got what she wanted. Smart cookie right there.

The Riddler totally played himself.

Haha! Called it! Knew he would be followed. Don’t underestimate him.

“If I knew this thing was a 100 acres, I would have stopped and had a sandwich before we came” Harvey, you are so relatable. I don’t blame you. My ship of Harvey + food continues to sail. The ship I can always count on <3

“The End” Wait, is the episode over? Is this where the story ends?

Wow, the acting right here is so good. I keep forgetting both Jerome and Jeremiah are both Cameron.

“His bearded sidekick” Hey! He has a name and thy name is Harvey!

“Born bad” that’s lousy reasoning.

Ooh so he lied? Well, this intrigues me. I am so skeptical of this guy. I just know there is more to him than meets the eye. I don’t believe this facade!

“You killed our mother” “She did deserve it though” Lol no care whatsoever. Again with the lousy reasoning.

“Listen to what I have to say” “Oh hell no! You are not hypnotizing me again!!! AAAAAAAHHHHHH!” *Jervis and Jonathan run for their dear lives as Harvey charges towards them* ….LOL Oh my god. Harvey, you are a blessing to this world. Most iconic moment. He is so done with Jervis. The way he just let out a war cry, causing the duo to flee is just…it’s beautiful. I’m dying. I will never be over this. Favorite part of the episode. Batman should take notes.

Jim being like “Welp, okay then” as he follows Harvey.

Just imagine Harvey chasing them all around the maze, with the video sped up and silly music playing. Or slowed down with suspenseful music playing. 

“Must go! Must go! They’re after me and the Scarecrow!” Oh my god I love this so much. I am going to put this on a loop forever.

I love how Jonathan doesn’t even try spraying or anything. He just follows Jervis wherever he goes. I am loving this duo.  

Jerome watching them run off like “whatever”.

*can still hear Harvey screaming* Me: *is dead*

*kisses Jeremiah’s head as he flees* Awe brother love…nothing like wanting your sibling dead and in misery one minute and kissing him in the next.

Whoa. That disappearance happened fast. Did he find a prototype invisible jet or something? Or did Jervis just have the car right outside the door, Jerome leapt in, and they drove away as fast as possible? Scratch that, they are totally hiding on the side of that building, shushing and tip toeing away.

The Riddler being all cocky and smug. Yeah, you probably won’t be feeling this way in a few minutes…

Hey, even I know this riddle! Oh, I see what you are doing there Lee.

It’s simple Ed. Just look at the audience as you say “I love you”. There you go!

Wow, he is pushing Ed back so much that he risks losing in front of an entire crowd.

Lee outsmarting him, good on Lee but sucks for the riddle factory :( I feel robbed.

A little bit late but I’d like to imagine Ed making all of these props himself. Cutting out a giant wheel, painting it, sticking two giant beakers together…

Wait, Oswald knows how to reverse it? Will it actually work though? I kind of feel like it would be a bummer to get rid of Grundy after all this…

Hugo Strange! Of course it’s Hugo. If it is monster related, it’s always Hugo lol

Yay! Oswald and Butch team up once more!

Poor Ed losing his riddle factory. A loss for us all :’(

“they didn’t come here because they love you, Ed” Wow, that’s harsh.  

“Because I know what you really want…” Validation? Wait, no… Lee:  *pulls out the glitter suit from thin air* The Riddler: :’D You found it! I thought I lost it!

Knife to the neck! Always going for the neck.

Oh, they are totally going to go on a robbing spree. Does Lee really need the money? Or is this also a way to appeal to The Riddler to get him back on her side?

….

I am reserving any specific opinion/judgement on this situation until I see more of it. But I definitely see some manipulation at play here. The question is, is it just one or both manipulating? I am actually a bit surprised Lee would play this card.

Oh, I can just imagine reactions from others. Jim, Harvey, Oswald, Butch, Barbara…they all have a decent history with both of them.

The music is the same music that played when Ed killed Kristen. Hmm…This does not bode well. It never does for Ed and anyone he is involved with.

“I don’t know. I thought it already was” Oh, you have no idea how mad this city can get Harvey…you don’t even technically have the Joker yet.

No! Not Carl! We hardly knew thee. Justice for Carl!!! 

*Jerome punches Grundy’s shoulder, shakes hand* Parallel to when Ed high fived him and did the same thing. Probably like hitting a brick wall.

Joker toxin!!!

The Jervis reaction XD Like, he knew the plan right? He looks so shocked.

Everyone’s reactions emoticon style: Jervis: 😮Jonathan: 😬  Jerome: 😆  Bridgit: 🙂 Victor: 😏 Butch: 😕Oswald: 🐧  

Oh god that looks painful. Looks like the “fun” is about to begin.

Man, if Jerome does end up dying, I won’t know how to feel. Jeremiah intrigues me and I think he will eventually grow on me but...he doesn’t have the same history that Jerome has with the characters. Why even have the twin twist? ...I guess I’ll just have to wait to see how it all plays out before deciding what I think. I will say, at least Cameron will still be playing him so it isn’t gypping him from the role.

Over all: Good episode. I felt like some of it was a bit fast paced. I was a bit surprised by how quickly the dinner began, Jerome got his info, the riddle factory ended…that being said, some good villain interaction and Harvey being amazing. The legion of horribles succeed in finding Jerome’s twin brother Jeremiah, the GCPD to put Jeremiah in protective custody, the Joker toxin has been created, Ed/Lee kiss while deciding to go rob banks, and Oswald recruits Butch in promising he could reverse his condition by finding Hugo Strange.

Previous Review: 4x16  Next: 4x18

[cataschism]

❛ Eternal? Baby, can I call you that? Eddy, ooh, I like that. EDDY, EDDY, EDDY. You think someone’s already copyrighted that? I’m losing track, what was it I was saying? Oh yeah, hell! ❜ Wade offers a hand, all - too gentlemanly. He even does a little bow - tucks his ankle! Oh, the serenity!

❛ That’s me at two am with a Stanley cup. You’re offering me my average Saturday nights, Eddy-baby. You could do with a roadtrip and a Deadpool - sponsored - playlist. You know they put Madonna in my movie? Eddy, we could put Madonna in your movies, if you turned me into vamp - pool. See? I’m adjusting! ❜

" i'm not biting you, " he's already decided, lips turning into a small pout as he listens to the other speak. " you're already doomed to eternal damnation, there's nothing this infliction can offer you that you don't already have. "

melancholic, as ususal. " being a vampire doesn't even turn you into a bat, it leaves you a monster, a red - eyed demon with a thirst that is never quenched, no matter how much it drinks. is that what you want, wade ? "

[indigo-rainn]

Keep Me Close

Chapter 1 – Tidal

SUMMARY: When something goes wrong during Sasuke's two-year solo quest for redemption, Konoha launches a rescue mission to get him back. However, when things start to go south, the team struggles to make a decision: do they save their friend, or risk everything to prevent his skills from falling into the wrong hands? / SasuSaku, Team 7

A/N: Posted this originally on FFN, but I thought I’d share it here as well. I’ve been getting back into the fandom recently after many years away, and I love how quickly the SasuSaku feels came rushing back. <33 Can’t get enough of these two.

I hope you guys enjoy!

The lavender sky dipped itself into corals along its horizon, darkened just overhead to a touch below indigo. Stars winked on one by one within this shade, reflected too in the shimmering sea, joined by the stirring of an offshore breeze. The rush of waves against the sea cliffs below served as the only sound, spare the soft tapping of footsteps on the ledge above. They belonged to a passing shadow by the name of Sasuke Uchiha.

A gull cried overhead, and the raven-haired shinobi tracked its movements warily before the bird disappeared beyond the trees. His obsidian gaze fell back to the ocean – he hadn't been to the coast in years, and he had forgotten the loudness of it. The salt in his nose, the rush of the waves in his ears – it was all a distraction, a nuisance that he didn’t particularly care for. He could see the enjoyment of it, but now, at that moment he found it put him on edge.

Sasuke paused to pull a scroll from his pocket, and unfurled it on the ground. He yanked open a pen with his teeth, and scribbled his note. He scowled at the mess of it – writing was exceedingly difficult with one hand – and made an attempt at smoothing a few lines.

Kyreen ETA: midday tomorrow. Criminal org.? Q. harbor master. SU.

Sasuke whistled through his teeth as he rose to his feet, rolling the scroll as a bird circled. It landed evenly on his shoulder, ruffling its feathers and nuzzling his cheek with affection. He pushed the creature away from his face and set to tying the parchment to its leg. In a moment, Sasuke had finished, and the bird took off into the night toward Konoha.

During Sasuke's most recent visit to the village, Kakashi had been adamant about daily check-ins. He'd sat Sasuke down, given him a hard time about his "angsty aloofness," and told him to send a daily note. A spree of missing nin reports from fringe territories, coupled with a particularly grueling winter across the continent, had made the council anxious over any "key assets" still out in the field.

"I'm not particularly worried about your wellbeing, Sasuke, but we have to set an example here…" Kakashi had explained tiredly. "Plus, I want to keep track of you. I'm getting old. I'm already old. Allow me this."

Sasuke's expressions tightened as he set off along the coast once more. It was only later, after he'd overheard a conversation between Shikamaru and Naruto before leaving town, that he had realized that the village was more worried about his kekkei genkai falling into the wrong hands than they were for his safety. He smirked at the idea. As if he could be beaten in combat, let alone lose to someone who could then steal his eyes.

Not possible.

What he would do, however, was take out whoever was abducting low-level shinobi along the remote coast of the Mist. Whatever scum waited for him in the fishing village of Kyreen, he would tie them in a neat bow and deliver them to the nearest police force. Then he'd take the missing ninja from whatever cell they were being kept in, dust them off, and return them to their homes. It was a standard mission, something fit for a chuunin – or even Team 7, at their formation – but since Sasuke was already in the region, he volunteered to get it done on his own.

Sasuke settled into a brisk pace. He wanted to get a few more miles in before settling in for the night. His mind wandered.

After all this, he would return to Konoha. That was something he'd decided on, without ever really deciding. It just came to him one morning. He was bone tired, and his body felt ready to stop for a while. He needed to rest, and he needed to train – the constant walking had taken a toll on his physical strength, and that was something he disliked.

He also wanted to plan out the next phase of his mission, and for that he needed maps, intel and, perhaps, a partner. A quiet, unexpected smile lifted his face in the dark.

Sasuke continued walking through the dark for some time. When he grew tired, he shielded his chakra, walked into the forest some ways, and pulled out his sleeping pad beneath an old oak tree. In a moment, he was asleep beneath his blanket.

Sakura sat on the porch at her home, wrapped in her thick down comforter. Ino was next to her, and together they stared out over the village, sipping on mugs of herbal tea. The lights twinkled, and the bubble of people leaving their various places of work grew quieter.

"This is way less fun with tea than wine. Do you have a bottle open?" Ino blurted finally, plopping her mug down and standing up from her seat. She cracked her back to the side, and then the other, and turned to go inside.

"No, but there should be an unopened bottle on the counter. Beers in the fridge too," answered Sakura. Ino disappeared inside: "You want one?" she called out. Sakura looked back and shook her head. Ino made her way back and curled up in her seat again, overfilled glass in hand.

"What's got you so down?" she asked, taking a long sip of the red, and eyeing her strawberry-haired friend. Sakura was never one to decline wine, especially when it was just the two of them.

"I don't know," she said after some time, sipping her tea. Then, after another pregnant pause: "The holidays are hard, sometimes. The hospital has been so quiet lately, and everyone splits off with their person after. The fact that I am totally alone hits home a little harder than usual. You know? It's just me and the cat. And it's not even my cat."

As if in answer to being spoken about, an orange calico slunk out from the apartment onto the porch. It sat between them, made a sound that was a cross between a meow and a belch, and hopped up onto the railing. The cat didn't really belong to anyone – it had followed Sasuke to the house one day, and never left. Now it required feeding and constant attention.

"You're not totally alone," said Ino. "He might not be here right now, but he's yours."

"Don't be ridiculous. He's been here a grand total of twelve days over the past ten years. And five of those days were in prison…" muttered Sakura. "And besides, he is absolutely not mine. Not anyone's. Running around the globe without a care in the god damn world. He's the worst sometimes."

"But, also, the best."

"…Yeah."

Sakura ran her finger along the rim of her mug absently, the taste of ginger on her lips. Ginger tea was his favorite, bizarrely enough. A calming tea, for one of the least calm people she knew of. Fitting, in his own ironic way. She closed her eyes, biting her lip hard.

She had never really known Sasuke, for all of those years she spent on his team, and then searching for him when he left. She thought she did, but she didn't really. Maybe there wasn't much to know, apart from the all-consuming revenge complex, and now that he'd had time to grow, there was a lot to him. All of these little facets and interests and hobbies that seemed odd when connected to someone of his prowess, but formed a part of him all the same.

Like the fact that he loved to paint. She'd left her watercolors out one evening when he'd popped through town, and he had settled into them while she'd stepped out to change as if he'd been painting all along. When he left, she'd put his finished picture up on the fridge – a cherry blossom tree, in full bloom. Now it was framed in her room.

"Sakura?" Ino murmured.

"Yeah?"

"It'll be okay. He'll be home soon," she said, setting her wine down momentarily to wrap her arms around her friend's shoulders with an affectionate squeeze.

"Love you, Ino. Thanks," said Sakura. Ino nodded, and threw up her arms in a big yawn.

"Aaand now that we're finished moping, can we please watch that reality show everyone's been talking about?"

"Only if you promise not to pause it every time that one guy comes on screen." They laughed, gathered up their blankets, and retreated indoors. The cat followed in behind them as a light snow wandered down from the sky.

Sasuke watched the town of Kyreen bustling about from a safe distance, assessing the layout before making his final approach. It was mid-morning, and the village looked nearly the same as every other town he'd passed along the coast, nestled against an inlet with a single dock and a disheveled collection of dinghy's bobbing in the water. There were more buildings in Kyreen than the last town he'd passed through, however. From his vantage in a tree, he counted ten residential homes as well as several shops clustered in a circle around an open market area. A low fence circled the town, with an open gate to the main road. Someone had stuck a hand-painted "We welcome travelers!" sign next to the entrance.

Nothing seemed particularly out of the ordinary. The ebb and flow here was standard – fisherman went out on their boats, came back with their catch, unloaded, and their wives exchanged the catch in the town square for grains and baked goods and whatever else there was available. The smell of smoked fish filled the air. Happy dogs lounged about in the sun, and children played along the water's edge.

Sasuke picked out the harbor master's house without too much difficult – it was the largest residential building, and had a somewhat new coat of paint. The man who Sasuke suspected to be the harbor master was just inside, his chakra signature seated at a table in the main room. A few weeks ago, this same man had sent an urgent letter to Konoha. Of the twelve shinobi that had gone missing, four had been stationed in or around this town, and one of those three was the master's own son. The town was scared, and thieves would soon circle.

Sasuke dropped from his perch to the ground, gathered his cloak around him, and made his way toward the town. Although snow had not yet fallen, the bite of winter lurked in the air, and the people he passed as he entered town were bundled in furs. Seal furs, by the look of it. Despite the cold, everyone was quite friendly and, were it not for his silence, would have happily engaged him in conversation and perhaps asked him to tea. He found it uncomfortable.

He approached one of the market stalls he'd picked out from afar, run by a very elderly woman selling assorted rice balls. She perked up when he stepped forward.

"Aren't you a sight for sore eyes!" she gushed, pulling back her curtain so that he could get a good look at what she had made for that day. Fish, crab, chicken, with various spices for each. He pointed at the fish one, and she grabbed two, wrapping them in a fabric napkin. She handed them to him delicately, and he passed her a few bills.

"I've got a chair over here, if you'd like to sit," she offered as she plopped herself into one of two Adirondack chairs beside her stand. He joined her, nibbling on one of the rice balls. It was surprisingly rich.

"Thank you," he murmured. She nodded and laced her fingers together, looking at him up and down with curiosity. She was a short woman, with dark leathered skin and long fingers. Her hair was wild and gray, pulled back in a messy bun, stuck with beads and braids and at least one feather.

"What brings you to town?" she asked finally. "We don't get many handsome young men passing through these parts."

When Sasuke blanched, she quickly continued: "Oh, wipe that expression off your face. I'm not trying to set you up with my granddaughter or anything silly like that! Just making conversation. Finish your food, child."

He did as he was told, and turned to watch the market bustle about them as he ate. He liked this old woman, as old and grizzled and off-her-rocker as she was.

"Tell me about the harbor master, if you would," he said after a time of silence, turning back toward the woman. She blinked, then leaned back in her chair.

"His name is Enko. Good man, yessir," she answered slowly. "He treats the whole town like family. Every one of us. Good man."

"Go on." The hesitation in her voice spoke volumes.

"Well, his son went missing a few weeks ago. He was a kid, just out of the academy up the coast. He was back visiting, and went into the woods to pick some herbs with his mum. They never came back – the wife was a bloodied mess, cold when they found her. The son had just vanished into thin air." As she told the story, her hand involuntarily moved to her chest, where it clasped a pendant around her neck. "Enko doesn't leave his house much anymore, really. Can you blame him? Nothing like this has happened here before. A week later, two more kids are gone. Another just a few days ago. It's all going to hell."

"Can you tell me more about the kids?" Sasuke asked after a long pause, when it appeared that the woman had caught her breath. "How old were they? Skill level?"

"Enko's son, Dan, was not quite 14. I used to watch him when his parents were busy. Scrappy kid, dark hair and dark eyes. The others were older, all teenagers. The most recent was in his 20s – he had one of those green vests that ninja wear. They were all good kids… I don't know why someone would do something like this."

Sasuke folded and refolded his napkin in his hand, a feeling of unsettledness rising in his gut. He wanted to speed this up. He asked for the woman's name.

"Gana. And yours?"

"Sasuke." He stood and offered her his hand, which she shook gratefully. Then, he turned and trudged toward the harbor master's house.

Sakura sat on her desk at the front of the class, watching her students scribbling away. Exam day was an easy day for a teacher, but a frustrating day for a doctor. Her time felt wasted watching over these kids write – she wanted to be in the ICU, helping her burn victim from the day before. She glanced out the window, the sun shining brilliantly against the newly-fallen snow.

One by one, the students handed in their papers, thanked her, and headed out to enjoy a few weeks of the class-free holiday break. She didn't blame them – her class was known for being one of the most intensive in the Konoha medical school.

Sakura locked up the classroom behind her, exams in hand, and slipped into her office. She dropped off the exams in the TA's box, grabbed her bag, and headed to the hospital wing at a fast clip. She pushed through the double doors, and the rush of beeping monitors and nurses brought her immediate ease. She changed into her scrubs mechanically, dropped her bag in a cubby, and dove into the fray. Within minutes, she was setting a child's arm, and then healing a puncture wound from an exercise-gone-awry, and then back to setting another broken arm.

"Here, I want you to hold up your good arm like this. Okay?" Sakura raised her hand, and the five-year-old she was treating mimicked. It was a way to distract. "Perfect. Hold that there, and I'll be right back with your new armor!" I.E. a splint for his wrist.

She turned, her tray of scalpels and bandages in hand, and froze midstride. At first it was just a pain in her chest. A white-hot pain that snatched her breath. Then it spread, in a blindingly wild fire, filling her with a fear and a horror that was not her own. Her body trembled violently, and she tried to open her mouth but couldn't speak. She couldn't breathe. Then, the screaming. The most viscerally horrible screaming she'd ever heard – a tortured screaming, agony over and over again in her ears, more agony than she'd experienced – ringing in her ears like a violent drum. Screaming. The tray clattered to the floor, tools flying in all directions. She crumpled against the wall, covering her ears, but couldn't get away. Tears leaked from her eyes as she sunk to the floor, nurses crowding around her as she curled into a ball on the linoleum. She couldn't hear them over the screams. Screams that, as she was forced to listen, she knew she recognized.

Then, all at once, it stopped.

Enko, the harbor master, eagerly led him into the kitchen. Although his eyes were gray – the kind of deep gray one gets from prolonged grief – he smiled pleasantly, and showed Sasuke around the main level of his house as any good host would. He was a stocky man, with thick arms and a thick white beard. His clothes were simple, his demeanor equally so. A fisherman, who'd lost his wife and son, trying to make things right.

"Can I interest you in some tea?" asked Enko, after offering Sasuke a seat at the kitchen table. He nodded, and Enko busied himself at the kettle. Sasuke, meanwhile, took a moment to examine the room.

The house was simple enough – very little decorations, no paintings or photos or anything like that. Old floral wallpaper, a few trinkets on the shelves, and simple furniture. He sensed no other chakra signatures in the house, and he checked to make sure.

Enko set two mugs on the table, and took a deep sip of his own. "I hope you like green," he said quietly, glancing up at Sasuke for nervous affirmation. Sasuke thanked him, and sipped at the drink. It was warm and delightfully bitter. Although not his favorite, it would certainly do.

"Tell me everything," Sasuke said quietly, folding his hands in front of his face and leaning in.

Enko talked at length, repeating much of the information offered by the woman at the stand. He was out fishing for the day, his son visiting home after being away from some time. They went out to the forests to forage, and never came back. Enko stared into his mug, his demeanor saddening as he pressed on.

Sasuke made a sorry attempt to stifle a yawn as the man spoke. He was very tired – he had slept poorly the previous night. He took another sip of his tea and shook his head to clear himself.

"Can you tell me more about your son? How old was he?" Sasuke managed as Enko stood and moved into the kitchen. He took out a few biscuits from a cupboard, and set to arranging them on a plate.

"He was a good boy. Tall, smudge of dark hair. Bright brown eyes, like his mum. Terrible at taijutsu, but he had a knack for substitutions. Best in his class!" Enko seemed to lose his train of thought, before picking it up again. "He was eighteen."

Eighteen? Why did that seem wrong?

Sasuke sat back in his chair. His head was swimming, he couldn't think. Something was wrong. His eyes flicked up to glare at Enko, and found the man watching him closely, an odd gleam to his eye. Sasuke tried to stand up, and stumbled back. His body felt heavy and unresponsive. He squeezed his eyes shut, but found his mind unable to keep a straight thought. He gripped the edge of the table with his hand such that his knuckles turned white, mustering all he had to stay steady.

"W-what the hell did you do to me?" he growled through gritted teeth.

He could sense Enko rushing toward him, but it was at a lag. He tried to gather up his chakra, but the threads evaded him. Something heavy rammed into him, and he fell back hard onto the wood floor. He tried to activate his eyes, but couldn't. He tried again, and the familiar red swam before his vision, but slowly. At a lag. This is bad.

A feral instinct took over, and he drove his knee into the person that had attacked him. Everything was blurry, he couldn't see anything at all. He could feel the edges of his senses going black – he was passing out, that much he knew – and fury lanced through his limbs at the thought of it. He forced his chakra through, and didn't realize until after that he was screaming. At once he could see, and his Mangekyou slid easily into place –

But it was too late. He looked down, only to see that he was standing in the middle of a seal on the floor. A seal for blocking his abilities. There were seals everywhere, actually, and he was in the middle of them all. And they were glowing, in the midst of activating, seconds away from sealing his abilities away. An ambush. A fucking perfect ambush.

Rage consumed him. Screaming in fury, he lit fire to the room. The black of unconsciousness closing in on him, he sent black flames everywhere. Burn in hell, burn in hell, burn in hell–

A blinding light swallowed the room as the seals finished activating. His screams turned from fury to pain. He collapsed in a writhing heap, unable to see or feel or think apart from the pain inflicted by the seals. And then he was out, limp on the floor as the enemy scrambled to cart him away.

End of Chapter 1! What’d you think?? I will upload the rest of the chapters here soon, but if you’re dying to read more now, you can find up through Chapter 5 here:

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12764887/1/Keep-Me-Close

Thank you for reading!

xoxo

Indigo

[layla-qhuinn]

Testing Positive

@GlymerasBastard @RockeWarrior Layla: *It had been just about two weeks since my needing and to say that Qhuinn was being protective was an understatement. The first day after, he saw to it that I was bathed and fed whatever I wanted. He only ate after I did and never left my side in case I started bleeding. He made sure I did not overexert myself even doing the smallest tasks. Each morning he laid by my side, his strong arm gently laying across my belly. Each evening he awoke me with a soft kiss, helped me shower and all but carried me down to first meal. When he was on rotation he texted me several times to check up on me. On his nights off we watched movies and just enjoyed each other's company. He truly was a male of worth. Tonight he was on rotation and to be quite honest, I was going a little crazy in the walls of the manse. I tracked down #Fritz after Qhuinn left for the evening and asked if he would drive me to the all night pharmacy for me to get some personal items. He all but dropped the feather duster and dashed off to get the keys. I could have just dematted there, but I did not want to take a chance in case I was with young. The old doggen came back to where I awaited in the foyer and lead me to the cars. I nodded my head in thanks as he held every door open for me. Once I was tucked safely inside the BMW, I started to fidget with my hands. I had been doing some research on the screens called computers about how human females found out if they were pregnant. Seems the most common way was taking what they called a pregnancy test. They were easily accessed at any pharmacy and pretty accurate from what I could gather. So here I was, dressed in yoga pants and one of Qhuinn’s hooded sweatshirts with #Fritz driving me to get one. Granted #Fritz did not know what “personal items” I needed to procure, yet he was all too happy to oblige. The drive was quick and before I knew it we were parking at the all night pharmacy. The old dog gen made a move to get out of the car. I placed a gentle hand on his shoulder and asked him to just wait for me as I would only be a few minutes. Bless his heart, he tried to protest but I assured him I would be safe and would not take long. I opened my door and took a deep breath, knowing that tonight everything could change, provided these tests also worked for vampires. My steps were hurried as I walked inside, but my feet vaulted as my eyes were assaulted by the enormous store in front of me. How would I ever find what I came for with so many aisles and shelves of items? Looking for anyone who could help me I started wandering the aisles, finding some rather interesting items. There were every type of gadget you could think of from items used in the kitchen to clothing and shoes to food and sweets. I truly could get lost in here. “Excuse me miss, can I help you find anything?” I spun around to find a young human female with dark brown hair, green eyes, tan pants and a blue vest on. Her name tag said she was Grace. And truly she was a saving grace. I explained what I was looking for and with a soft smile and a pat on my shoulder she told me which aisle I would find it in. “You will be ok either way hun.” And with that she walked off. Stealing myself I headed in the direction I was told and was again bombarded with so many boxes. Digital, early response, two pink lines, two blue lines. How did one choose? Since I was only a couple weeks over my needing I grabbed the early response digital one and went to the check out. Thankfully since it was in the middle of the night there was no line. To conceal my purchase from #Fritz I grabbed a few women's magazines and some candy, paid for my purchase and went to the waiting car. “Did you find everything you needed ma'am?” I spoke a soft reply that I did and we were off. The ride back seemed to drag on but I knew it was because I could not wait to find out if I was carrying our young. #Fritz parked the car and again held each door open for me as we made our way back inside the manse. I thanked him for taking me out tonight and went back to Qhuinn’s room. Snatching the box from the bag, I headed into the bathroom and went over the instructions in detail until I could recite them word for word. “You can do this Layla. Just pee on the stick” I slid the yoga pants down my legs and perched myself over the toilet. Guess this is what they call stage fright because I couldn't make myself go if my life depended on it. I stood up, looked myself in the mirror and willed myself to pee. Perching once again, with the stick thing between my legs, I was finally able to go. I cleaned myself up, capped the stick like the instructions said and laid it on the edge of the sink. Two minutes. Two minutes and my life could change forever.* Qhuinn: [I checked my cell for the umpteenth time then pocketed the device as Blay circles around my Hummer laughing. My best friend knew me far too damn well. JM came around and whistled to get our attention then signed for me to keep my head in the now. He was right. I knew it, but I couldn't help worrying about Layla. It had been two weeks since I'd seen Layla through her needing and I had walked on eggshells around her. I hadn't allowed her to lift a finger too high. Now I'm out on rotation with my two best friends by my side and my brain is back at the manse] Okay, Okay. I'm putting this [holds up my cell as proof of the “this”] away. [slides the device into my back pocket then does a weapons check] We good? [slaps Blay’s chest with the back of my hand then taps JM on the chest with my free hand. They each nod an answer before we head off to patrol our sector. Thank fuck for Vishous or whoever the rotation God was for keeping the three of us together. We each worked well alone, but put us together we were near unstoppable. Blay and I had history and I knew if something ever happened to me that he'd watch over and care for Layla. That fact kept us close even with how my actions had disturbed the force between us. We'd rebuilt and reconnected so the bond was tighter than ever] BLAY: *I watched Q wave his cell around before hiding it away. He had been off kilter the past few weeks and given the way he'd been around Layla I could guess. Hell the scent and sound of their actions cleared any questions right up. My hand runs over my hair at that memory. I'd had to head straight for my room when Layla’s needing had sent a wave across the manse. Any who came into contact got an instant hard on and mine was no exception. The only relief was putting hand to cock and rubbing it out.. like several times. Each orgasm granting no relief as the next wave hit. I shifted where I stood as I remembered the day or so after and not being able to walk straight from the discomfort of how many times I'd worked my throbbing cock during the height of her needing. I'd stayed in hiding and rightfully so until the ache had subsided. Fritz always bringing my meals to my room as he so often did during my time of facing the desire to be with Qhuinn and being envious of Layla. I fought with myself over the green monster of envy until I realized I cared for Layla deeper than a friend ever should, but I kept that locked away. No way would I step there given Q and I had only just begun to rebuild our friendship. It took grassroot effort in both our parts to salvage and rebuild. So as I look at him I see a male worried about a female of worth and I couldn't figure out how to help* Hey man you know if any issues she will call. *clapping a hand on Q’s back in an effort to let my friend know I would watch over him and Layla both along with JM* Layla: *I pace the room yet again, to the point I am sure Fritz will have to replace the carpet. Looking at the clock again, I race to the bathroom and peer at the white stick. Two pink lines stare back at me. Frantically I reach for the box, fumbling with it once I find it. Turning it over I read what two pink lines mean. Tears immediately fill my eyes as I sink to the floor. Pregnant. Dearest Scribe I was with young. Qhuinn’s young. How was I going to tell him? How is he going to react? How will Blay react? I know they are best friends but I can't help to know that Blay cares for Qhuinn much deeper than he let's anyone know. I do not know how long I sit on the floor but once my bum becomes numb I figure it is long enough. I look towards the clock and know I have a few hours until I see Qhuinn. Picking up my cell phone, I open the last text for Qhuinn and quickly send him a text. ‘I would like you and Blay to come see me when you get done with rotation. Love, Layla’ Holding the phone to my chest and one hand over my still slim stomach, I smile as the tears of happiness and uncertainty fall down my cheeks* Qhuinn: [I heard my cell or rather felt it buzz against my ass cheek. As I reach into my pocket Blay walks up bumping my shoulder grabbing the cell from my hand] Fuck sakes, B. [he unlocks the screen and I swear his eyes seem to bug out of their sockets. Then he's looking at me with the biggest shit eating grin I've ever seen on his face] BLAY: *when Q’s phone buzzes I can't resist the urge to snag it from his grubby mitt and see just what was so important that he'd risk reading a text while on patrol. When I see it's from Layla my heart does the curious heave ho when I read she wants to see Q and I when we get back. My grin widens as I reread the text then holds the phone out to Q* Looks like we have a date when we get ba.. *my words fall silent as a white hot like pain slams into my back taking me on the right side. The world seems to spin for a second before I see JM slamming hard into a Lesser that rushes into the alley. The scent of blood and baby powder making my gut wrench as I drop to one knee* Layla: *After sending my text I sat down at the desk and turned on what Qhuinn called a laptop. I knew how to search for things on the interweb and how to shop. Scribe how I loved to shop. This time though I searched for ways to tell someone they were going to be a father. I wanted to make this special for both Qhuinn and Blay. Yes it had been Qhuinn that serviced me, but Blay was going to be as much a part of this young’s life as Qhuinn was. And if Scribe forbid something happened to me, they would need each other. I found millions of photos and ‘blog’ things that detailed how to tell someone they were going to be a father. Scroll through photo after photo, my eyes began to get heavy. At some point they completely closed just as I clicked on a picture of a little baby outfit that said “You're gonna be my Daddy” * Qhuinn: [pocketing my cell when Blay gave it back to me I started to shake my head then blood sprayed my face. The look in Blay’s eyes had went from teasing about a date to being lost. He listed forward so I grabbed his shoulders just as JM darted past us slamming into a Lesser full force] Stay with us Blay. Remember the date you mentioned? Focus on that. [The scent of baby powder was so thick it made me nauseous but I kept it together to watch JM’S back. I pulled out my weapon and fired at one Lesser that was heading my way. The shot hit right between the fuckers eyes sending him back onto the pavement] Come on Blay! BLAY: *grimacing when Q grabs my shoulders. The pain shocking me back into the now and away from the hold of darkness. When I saw the flash of his gun muzzle I glanced over where JM was in a hand to hand mix up with his combatant. My eyes go in and out of focus but the scuffle going on forces me to fight unconsciousness as does Q’s plea. I can't let him or JM down. Not Q… Not Layla* Q… J… *shoving off the wall when I see two more Lessers heading our way. I grab a broken piece of wood that looks like a stake and rallies up enough strength to rush one of the Lessers. He spins around and I connect stabbing him through the chest hitting home. Black, putrid smelling blood spurts out over my left arm just as the last remaining one lunges into view* Layla: *I awoke not long after, looked for some more pictures and made my decision. It would be perfect for both Qhuinn And Blay. Grabbing my phone, I checked for a message from Qhuinn. Seeing none, I assumes that he was busy on patrol. I did not want to bother him if he was involved with fighting. As much as I worried about his and Blay’s safety, I knew this is what mine males were meant to do. A feeling of fear crawled over my skin, much like when an ant did. I brushed it off as just nerves over how my males would react to my news. I left our room and went in search of Fritz who could help me with my announcement and keep my secret. Qhuinn: [jerking my head around in time to see Blay taking out a Lesser then hears grunts from JM’s direction and turns around in time to get clocked in the jaw by the lone remaining Lesser] You got a set of balls on you. Oh right correction.. NO BALLS! [with my singular jab at his lack of a set of family jewels I jam the but of my gun beneath his jaw sending his head shooting to his right giving me a second to train the muzzle between his eyes and fired. The black blood and brain matter spattering both JM and I. I get the “I'm kicking your ass” look from JM then we both turn towards Blay who's splayed out on the ground] BLAY! BLAY: *I fell back and away from the Lesser before he went poof back to the Dhund leaving a pile of ashes. I could hear scuffling and the shot being fired told me Q had hit home or I prayed to the Scribe that he had. His yelled out comment brought a chuckle out of me but I was losing blood from my wound and just the effort to do much of anything was gone. All that kept my eyes open was sheer willpower and the thought of seeing Layla once we get to the manse* Layla: *Scribe bless Fritz. He was procuring the items I needed to surprise Qhuinn and Blay while seeing to Last Meal and my snack. I made a mental note to get him a new vacuum or something for all he has done for me this night. Satisfied everything was going as planned I went to the billiards room and sat down to watch some Project Runway. A cold shiver ran down my spine. I sent a silent prayer to The Scribe Virgin that my males made it home soon and safely as I pulled the throw blanket  over myself.* Qhuinn: [JM and I beat feet to get to Blay’s side. Before I could say anything JM had scooped Blay up into his arms and headed for my Hummer. It was second nature for us to look out for each other. Once at my ride I unlocked the doors and helped JM get Blay into the back and grab a box of gauze that I hand to JM. My hands moving quickly to sign for him to put pressure on the wound before leaning down to whisper in Blay’s ear] You stay on this side. Feel me? [with that I pull out my cell and get behind the wheel, taking off towards the Manse while dialing the medical bay number hoping like hell they pick up fast and get my wish. “We've got one wounded incoming. It's Blay so move your ass.” The voice on the other end gets cut off and I'm sure I'll get an ear full but I need to focus on the road and getting him help fast] BLAY: *groans when JM picks me up, but I'm too weak to say more. I just go with the flow until Q whispers in my ear* On it. *my left arm drops onto my lap and I feel JM tapping for me to be still* I will be quiet. *my eyes roll back into my head as blood loss takes its toll so I miss JM whistling for Q to step on it* Layla: * I hear a commotion of doggen running around from the foyer. Curious I go out to see what has happened, figuring a vase or something fell. Seeing a female doggen, I politely ask what is going on. “A warrior was hurt this night. We are gathering supplies for when they arrive.” She scurries off. My heart drops to my feet. I immediately think of the odd feelings I have been having tonight and know it must be Qhuinn or Blay. Before I know what I am doing my feet are carrying me down to the clinic. Whoever is hurt is going to need to feed. I pray to the Scribe Virgin that it is nothing serious as I await for their arrival.* Qhuinn: [when I brake the Hummer practically slides to a halt just inside the garage. I wasn't even sure how we'd made it here in one piece or the number of turns I'd taken counting on the Hummer’s suspension to take the brunt of what my driving was putting it through. All I could think about was Blay being injured amid the headslaps JM was giving me for making them slide back and forth on the back bench seat. I didn't even look up at JM when I flung open the door and simply motioned for him to ease Blay to me. It seemed to take an eternity, but in fact he was moved quickly though my nerves was telling me he wasn't getting moved fast enough. Once Blay was in my arms I carried him through the garage to the elevator that would take us down to the infirmary. JM beat feet to catch up, pushing the code for the elevator to open up and I damn near dove inside. Things were taking to fucking long in my opinion then in a burst of white light and disinfectant hit my nostrils making the hairs inside burn as I'm met with V’s glare asking without words what happened] Help him. By the Scribe just help him. [V nodded as he motioned for me to lay Blay on the gurney that he then pushed into one of the trauma bays telling me gruffly to keep my ass was I was] BLAY: *the ride was a blur of varying sensations but once the rollercoaster ride ended I could faintly make out Q’s grunts of impatience and JM’s deep breaths. Each was worried to a point that I tried to open my eyes but I was just too weak to do much of anything outside just hanging in for the ride. Q’s heartbeat was thundering against my ear and the instant I felt something flat beneath me I knew I was being transported to another room in the infirmary. The feel of a gloved hand told me V was checking the wound and his hiss told me it looked back before he was rummaging drawers for what he needed and cursing every step as he settled in to do his patchwork on my shoulder* Lay… *I called out the first part of Layla's name and V laid a hand on my good shoulder speaking low that he'd get the Chosen in here as soon as he finishes cleaning me up* Layla: *I rushed to the infirmary and got there just as Qhuinn carried Blay in in his arms. I couldn't stop the sob that came from my lips. Running over to Qhuinn, I wrapped my arms around his neck as I watched Blay being wheeled back by V.* Are you hurt Qhuinn? What happened to Blay? What about JM? He will need to feed as will you. This is my fault. I should never have texted you tonight. *I wrapped my arms around myself as I turned to the door Blay was taken through. If I could, I would have bore a hole straight through it to see what was going on. I would never forgive myself for this night and my selfishness.* Qhuinn: [gripping Layla in my arms then remembers the black blood on my shirt as she pulls away] I'm alright, butterfly. You trust me true? [JM walks up with a clean shirt he'd gotten from a doggen. I gladly strip off the one I'm wearing and put on the one that's offered before turning to Layla again] There was a skirmish. He got tagged from behind. He's a fighter. V will have him fixed right up. [JM comes up signing about staying strong and being there for Blay when we get the word we can see him. Just then V pops his head out looking for someone then he spots us. “Chosen you're needed” is all he says and I step up to guard Layla] BLAY: *as V gets the round out of my shoulder I groan. My body trembling from the pain as he cleans and sutures the wound, bandaging my arm up so that I can't move it much at all. “You need blood. Let me get a Chosen in here.” with those words V was headed out and I am left laying there with a sheet covering my lower body and wishing the pain in my shoulder would go away* Layla: *I have no time to process what Qhuinn told me. Almost immediately, V appears and asks for me to feed Blay. Turning quickly to Qhuinn, I grasp his hand and walk with him into the room. My heart stops seeing Blay against the white sheet. He looks ashen against the stark white. Tears slip from my eyes as I walk up to the bed. Without hesitation, I offer my wrist to him.* Take all you need Blay. Qhuinn and I both need you in our lives. Qhuinn: [when Layla grips my hand I immediately lace my fingers with hers and follows the short distance to the room where Blay is. I need a shower but I want to be right here] Be careful, butterfly.  [I'm nervous about Layla doing this but the way Blay’s face looks has me willing to open a vein for him if I could] BLAY: *when I see Layla and Q walk into the room a small smile starts to form until she pushes her wrist in my face. I know I need blood, but it pains me to take from Layla. Then add in the fact that Q is holding her hand looking like the guardian he is and that familiar pang hits in my chest. V walks in, taking a scan of all inside before giving me a single look. It's the one that tells me to feed or else and I don't want to know the /or else/. I turn my eyes up at Layla as I gently cup her forearm in my hand with my fangs jutting to full extension before I ease into her flesh and the first wave of her rich blood flows over my tongue. Within a couple of pulls I taste a foreign edge but yet familiar so I look at her face questioning silently* Layla: *I see the question in Blay’s eyes and nod a simple response. With Blay in the condition he is in, I did not feel right telling my news. Once he was rested and healing I would tell them properly. Right now my concern was Blay and Qhuinn recovering from this night. Feeling Qhuinn’s hand tighten around mine, I look in his mesmerizing eyes and smile. I had to be the strong one for them both right now even though I wanted to lay down and weep.* He will be alright my warrior. You both will be just fine. Why don't you go clean up and when you are done and checked over you need to feed as well. Qhuinn: [my hand tightens on Layla’s when Blay starts to feed. It feels like a weight is lifted off my shoulders when color comes back into his cheeks and I finally let out the breath I hadn't realized I had been holding] I'll go get cleaned up but my feeding can wait. You've given enough this eve. [leans down and kisses Layla's forehead] You are always looking out for me and Blay both. [turns my mismatched gaze towards Blay to let him see how glad I am that he's going to be okay] BLAY: *I pull away from Layla's wrist and seal the wounds with a swipe of my tongue then hesitantly let's her arm go. My eyes move between them both before meeting the mismatched hues of Q’s. I could never not look at him or Layla without feeling the pang of wishing for more and knows I care about both far more than friendship covers* Y… Yes she does. *my voice sounds hoarse to my ears but I'm glad to be talking* Layla: I will always take care of you both. *My eyes dart between the two strong males before me. Never in my life had I thought that I would be loved, let alone by two males. Smiling up at Qhuinn, I nod to him in encouragement to go get cleaned up* I will sit with Blay while you are taking care of yourself. I will have #Fritz bring you both something to eat as well. *Glancing towards to Blay, I plead with him to not say anything until Qhuinn is out of the room* Qhuinn: That you do very well, butterfly. [cups Layla's face in my hands and kisses her lips before leaning over and kissing Blay's forehead] You don't move until I get. [looking at Blay's eyes before turning towards Layla] I won't be gone long. [with that I leave the room and hauls ass back out and up to my room the whole time I'm grinning like an idiot who won first prize at a county fair. Both people I loved… yes loved with all that I am.. are okay and in one piece] BLAY: *shaking my head at Q’s words to let him know I won't be moving just yet while my heart breaks into a runner’s rhythm from his kiss. He and Layla both affected me and I hoped to the Scribe that fact wasn’t showing through the sheet covering my lower half as I met Layla's gaze with mine. Once Q heads off to shower I hold out my hand for Layla to take* Sit and talk to me. Just you close will get me up and off this bed quicker than anything. *my eyes plead with Layla asking what I couldn't put into words* Layla: *I wait until Qhuinn has left the room and is far enough away before I sit on a chair next to Blay and hold his hand in my own, kissing the back of his hand softly* You know I have been through my needing and that Qhuinn serviced me. *seeing a flash of pain in his eyes breaks my heart but I continue* Please do not be upset. I know how much you care for Qhuinn as well. And he cares for you as well. *I take a pause and let that sink in before continuing. Although I am happy, I cannot bring myself to look at Blay.* This night I decided to take a human pregnancy test and it came up positive. I am carrying Qhuinn’s young. I believe that is what you sensed when you fed from me just now. I wanted to tell you both together but that did not happen. So when Qhuinn comes back, please act surprised. Qhuinn: [hurrying into my room stripping before the latch ever clicks then runs into the bathroom. I left clothes wherever they might land knowing they'd need to be incinerated before the night was through. The water heated in mere seconds, but it felt like an eternity before I stepped beneath the water and started getting cleaned up. As I rinsed shampoo out of my eyes I saw flashes of Blay and Layla. They were laughing while a child ran between them circling them both before running directly into my waiting arms. With a start I jerked my head forward and eyes flew open wide] What the hell? [scrubbing a hand down my face as I tried to figure out what I'd just seen. Could it be a future where I have both the people I love in my life and everyone is happy and fulfilled or am I trying to fool myself into the ultimate state of happiness that I could never have. At that I turned the water off, stepping out and dried off. My mind going in a million directions at once as I found clean clothes and deposited the soiled ones in the incinerator bin before I walked back down to the medical unit] BLAY:  *try as I might I couldn't hide the fact that it pained me to know Q had serviced Layla. I knew the reasons for it, but it still stirred the ache in my chest about me not being there. Regardless of that I saw the pained look on Layla’s face and gave her hand a gentle squeeze as I shoved down my pain for her* I will act excited because I am. My surprise will be real. *lifting her hand to my lips I kiss her fingers in turn drawing her eyes towards me* I care about you and Qhuinn​ very much. Never think that I don't. You mean the world to me just like you do to Q. *I could hear muffled movement outside the door and knew the sound of Q’s voice coming down the hall* Layla: *I smiled softly at Blay and kissed his hand* You are a true male of worth Blay. You will be a part of this young’s life as much as Qhuinn and I are. We both love you. Thank you for keeping my secret quiet until Qhuinn comes back. *I look towards the door and wait for Qhuinn to come in, my nerves causing my stomach to roll a little. This was going to be a life changing confession. I just prayed that Qhuinn was going to be as happy as I was.* Qhuinn: [stepping into the room I can't help but to crack the biggest shit eating grin when I look from Layla to Blay. My mismatched eyes taking in the sight and I swear my heart swells in my chest until I subconsciously rub the heel of my palm over the spot as I move closer] What's up? Layla looks like she's​ to the point of hacking and Blay looks like if he smiles any wider his cheeks will turn red from over use. BLAY: *I was grinning from Layla's words when Q walks in* I can't help but to be happy. I've got my two most favorite people here with me. What could be better than those you love being close? *I give Layla's hand a gentle squeeze to let her know I fully support her* Layla: *My stomach decided to grow butterflies when Qhuinn walks in the room. My breath hitches in my chest looking at his mismatched eyes and chiseled face. I could only pray that our young looked like him. Glancing quickly to Blay, I squeeze his hand back in return and take a deep breath.* Now that you are both here and as well as can be, I have some news. I decided to go out tonight to purchase a human pregnancy test. After coming back and following the instructions it came up positive. You are going to be fathers. *I wait, holding my breath tight in my lungs for Qhuinn’s reaction, the whole time holding Blay’s hand to keep me grounded.* Qhuinn: [as I look from Layla’s face to Blay’s I felt like I couldn't focus. The word “fathers”hit me square in the chest. The dream I'd had was coming true. Our child would have blonde hair but be burdened with my mismatched eyes… I knew it. I just knew it. So ethereal between one breath and the next I blinked and fully made out the grin on Blay’s face then saw the worry and excitement on Layla’s] Fathers?! For real? [I snapped to my senses and came before Layla in two steps. My right hand covering their joined hands while a smiles read on my face. Blay, Layla and I were going to be parents. Spoiled would take on new meaning if I had my say] BLAY: *I gently rubbed my thumb over Layla's hand while she dropped the news on Q. His face went through every emotion possible before settling on happiness. When it did I felt myself breathe again. I didn't even realize I'd been holding my breath until that moment then grins wider when he lays a hand over mine and Layla’s. My world had been topsy turvy for so long, but here & now it settled* Layla I hope you know you won't be doing a whole lot without one or both of us watching over you. *I looked from our hands to each face that I was in love with in turn* Layla: *I finally let out the breath I had been holding since I read the little white stick and smile at the two males that were my life. We were going to be a family and I couldn't be happier. Leaning over, I gently kiss Blay, then move to stand in front of Qhuinn. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I stand on my tip toes and give him a kiss as well.* I am as serious as can be Qhuinn. For as sure as the sun rises and sets, you and Blay will be fathers. Are you happy about it? Qhuinn: [grins against Layla's lips while kissing her back then skims a hand down to lay over her flat stomach] I'm happy, nervous and know I'd not want a family with a time but you and Blay. [keeps one arm around her slender waist holding her form against me as I lay my cheek on her hair and smile over at Blay] BLAY: *I didn't realize I was smiling so wide until my cheeks started to hurt but then who could blame me. I was in love with two amazing people and was going to be a father. My life was definitely looking up especially given where I'd been emotionally a while back* “Love you” *I mouthed at Q when his mismatched eyes met mine*

[cataschism]

❛ Concert tickets? ❜ Beth asks, which takes up ninety-percent of her brainpower on good days. A hundred and five when she’s really itching for a night out. ❛ A solution to all things existential and mortal? The answer to what’s our afterlife like through the catalog of near-death experiences, or are we not going the occult route? ❜ Beth articulates route with a tongue-click, stereotypical to young women their age. Beth is the perfect sister, it’s also why she tries to intentionally sully it by being outrageously, but privately, strange.

|| Starter for @cataschism [Beth]

−−−¨༺ “Winter break has officially started, we are free men, and now,” she paused to look at her friend, “What exactly are our plans?”