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tiredofthehumanlife · 30 days

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Damn you Brisket Five

Barbie dolls:five hargreeves x gn! Reader

Word: 4.1k

Summary: you and five (also Diego) get into an argument and he leaves you in the subway to cool off ha makes you promise not to get in the train what happens next will shock you

Warnings: mentions of killing, set in s4 minus the cheating, you're in the wrong but are extremely hard headed and kinda mean to Five and Diego, you try to punch Diego, you're picked up by Luther, brisket Five is a flirty dick, you eat a sandwich that reminds you of your grandmas and I described a slight "memory" so it might not match with anything you've experienced, one or two sex jokes I think but I idk, it's unclear where you are in the plot but it's not all that important, one mention of vomiting and stomach uneasy, Five's a little jelly

Inspired by: this and this

You groaned, throwing your head back in frustration. Allison pointed at you in agreement, looking around your circle as you all argued.

“This is stupid; why can’t we go back in time and kill Jennifer? I’m sure she’s a sweet girl but we’re talking about the universe right now,” you said, looking around at the faces staring at you. Luther shook his head at you. Diego made a grimace, looking away from you entirely. Allison scrunched her nose. Lila flashed her teeth like an upset dog, staring down at her hands. Klaus snorted, somehow finding a joke in this. You look over at Five to find him pinching his brow.

“We are not doing that because that’s what the Commission would do. That’s not who we are.” Five said, agitation scaping at the sound of his words. You hummed.

”Well what’s your idea, genius?” You asked, getting tired of them pretending like they were picking out an ice cream flavor. Five looked up at you with furrowed brows.

“Don’t talk to me like that.” He said, rubbing his lips together like it left a sour taste in his mouth. You rolled your eyes at him, looking around the group. Viktor held his finger up.

“I have an idea.” Everyone's eyes turned to him. “What if I just absorb all the marigold into my body and then get absorbed by The Durango?” You shook your head.

“No absolutely not.” You said, staring at Viktor to make sure he felt the sincerity in your voice. Luther scoffed.

“So you’re down to kill Jennifer but not Viktor?” Diego said, crossing his arms over his chest. You reeled back, looking at him to see if that really came from his mouth.

“Are you for real?” Diego gave a short nod. “Man fuck you.” You said before lunging at him. Diego pulled back, shocked at your sudden movement. Luther pulled you away, flinging you over his shoulder. He took three steps away from Diego so you couldn’t reach him even if you wanted to. You smacked Luther on his back while trying to wiggle out of his arms.

“Five control your partner,” Diego muttered. It sparked a few mummers of disagreement. Klaus grimaced at Diego. Allison reached over and smacked the back of Diego's head while Viktor whispered an ew. Five scoffed.

“Luther, put me down. Let me at him.” You whispered to Luther. Luther patted the back of your calf.

“No can do; you’re staying up there until you calm down.” You sighed at Luther’s words, giving up on getting out of shoulder jail anytime soon.

“Guys, what if we just all sacrifice ourselves to the Durango thingie?” Klaus asked, earning a unanimous no. You slumped against Luther, wishing he would just put you down already.

"Luther, turn around so I’m facing the group, would you?” Luther nodded, turning around so his back was facing the circle. You pressed your arms into his back, holding yourself up so you could make eye contact.

“What if we go back to where we had dinner all those days ago, use Five’s funky train? We go back to before Ben did his shenanigans; stop him; we don’t have this problem anymore.” You said, looking around the group to gain their reactions. Viktor raised an eyebrow, looking at Allison. Allison bit into her knuckle, staring at the floor to think it over. Five squinted his eyes at you. Diego started whispering to Lila. Klaus looked over to Five.

“That’s a possibility,” Diego said. Five shrugged.

“If Lila mimicked my power, we could most definitely get you all down there.” Five muttered. Luther gently set you down, turning back around to face the group. You straightened your clothes. You stood next to Five instead of Luther, still upset he basically put you in time out.

“Is that our plan?” Viktor asked. The group murmured different versions of yes. You glared at Diego.

“We have to stop home first, we can’t miss dinner with my family,” Lila said, glancing at Diego. You nodded, following after the rest of the group. You stopped by Diego, glaring at him.

“I really wanted to deck you. Still do.” You whispered. Five appeared next to you, grabbing your shoulder and steering you away.

“Remember who drives you around!” Diego yelled after you as Five directed you out of the house. You watched as he pulled you away from the group heading to the van, off to the side. You squinted at him.

“Just because I supported your idea does not mean I’m not still upset with you.” Five said, keeping his tone low. You furrowed your eyebrows. You crossed your arms over your chest, glancing over at the van to see most of his family pressed to the window watching you two intently.

“Why are you upset?” You asked not understanding where this was coming from. Five sighed, reaching out towards you. His hands hovered over your elbows in an attempt to soothe you.

“It hurt me when you spoke to me like that. You were talking like we aren’t equals. I didn’t like that you suggested that we kill Jennifer. I didn’t like how you treated Diego back there. I understand you’re annoyed and frustrated, a little hard-headed, but I still think you should be respectful to the people around you.” Five said, holding up a finger after each item he listed. You pulled back.

“I’m sorry, aren’t you the man who is regularly calling people names, and making insults? You’re the sarcastic pain in the ass.” You pointed at him. Five glanced at Diego and Lila joining the others in the car, pausing your conversation-argument so they didn’t hear.

“That’s different. I’m not blatanly trying to punch them.” Five pointed at Diego in the car like he was worried you’d forget. You scoffed.

“Oh, that’s rich.” You muttered. Five flung his hands out.

“How, tell me. How.” Five asked, getting more and more annoyed.

“You’re acting like I’m the worst person ever to swing on someone but need I remind you of your past job?” Five’s face fell before pulling into a grimace. He pointed his finger at you.

“I told you I didn’t enjoy the killing. Need I also remind you that you worked there as well?” Five asked, raising an eyebrow at you. You felt your heart beat faster as your anger grew.

“I never picked up a gun, you dickhead. I did paperwork.” You said, leaning closer, so he could feel the anger vibrating off your body. Five scoffed.

“You’re acting like you’re so much better than me, you ordered who got killed. You didn’t pull the trigger but you aimed. You’re just as much of a lowlife as I am.” Five held his arms out in a T-pose like he was saying, ‘This is it.’ You uncrossed your arms, holding them out to your sides. Five turned his back to you, facing the sky instead.

“That’s not what I said; this is just like what happened on the Kanas case.” You said, pointing in the direction of the van even though you weren’t sure if Kansas was that way. Five spun back around towards you, his jaw slack.

“You did not just bring up Kansas.” Five said in disbelief, staring at you. You nodded.

“I brought up Kansas.”

“Oh my- You and I both know that was not my fault. I thought we were past this?” Five said, grimacing at you. You shook your head, throwing your hands up.

“You never apologized.” You said, rolling your eyes. Five scoffed.

“Why would I apologize? It. Wasn’t. My. Fault.” You shook your head at Five. He huffed, spinning around again. You scoffed at him.

“You did the same thing there; you were acting like I was a horrible person. You started the argument. You almost got us killed, how is that not your fault?” Five groaned.

“Hey.. uh... you guys coming or what?” You heard Viktor yell from the van’s window. You and Five’s heads spun towards the van.

“Not now.” You both yelled at the same time, making Viktor turn the handle on the door as fast as he could to roll up the window. You and Five watched in silence as Viktor tried harder and harder to go faster. By the time it was closed, you two had taken a few breaths. You felt less radioactive but still pissed. Five sighed, looking up at you from staring at the ground.

“I think we both need to cool down.” Five muttered, reaching out for your hand. You grumbled before dropping your hand in his. It was seconds before you felt the sickness that came with Five’s jumps. You pulled away from him, finding yourself in his stupid subway.

“Damnit, Five. You know I hate that. I going to hurl.” You doubled over, supporting yourself with your hands on your knees. You took deep breaths while staring at the floor. You shrugged off Five’s hand when he tried to comfort you with a light back rub. You stood up straight when you felt your stomach settle. Five let out a sigh of relief.

“We both need to cool off, separate from each other. An hour or two tops. You can stay here, break shit. I really don’t care just do not get on the train. Okay? You have to promise me you won’t get on the train.” Five said, staring at you. You glanced over at where the train would be. “promise?” Five added when you were silent.

“Yeah, I won’t go on the train.” Five nodded before he blinked out again. You sighed, slumping onto the bench nearby. Maybe you should break shit. That vending machine was looking a little appetizing right now. You looked up at the loud sounds of the train screeching into your station. The train doors slid open, showing the very inviting subway seats that definitely wouldn’t hurt at all. You glanced over at where Five was standing. He technically wasn’t here. He did say it would be a few hours before he got back. Nothing was really stopping you from going inside. You didn’t even say ‘I promise’. So, does it count? You stood up from the bench, stepped onto the train, and settled into the seat across from the door.

The train lurched forward, making you glance around. You expected the train ride to be very short, only a few minutes, but you couldn’t fully get a feel for how long it had been. You got bored after a while deciding to find something to climb on. After failing to hang upside down four times, you got bored of that too. You laid across the seats on your back, closing your eyes to take a nap. Then the train stopped. You peeked an eye open, glancing around for monsters before sitting up. You stared at the door as it slid open.

Then, what you least expected, you saw Five. In his suit too. He walked past the open door before stopping at the window next to it. He backpeddled, staring at you with a confused face. Just as you were about to defend your case, he started running. away. His fancy shoes clicked on the floor as he ran. You stood up, chasing after him.

“Hey, man. I know the argument was kinda rough, but it wasn’t that bad.” You yelled after him. Five glanced over his shoulder, picking up his pace. He skidded around the corner, almost tripping on the way. You reached the same corner after a few seconds, stopping in the middle of the hallway. In the middle of the subway station was a diner. ‘Max’s Delicatessen’ over the door in big bold letters.

You picked up your pace, walking to the door and swinging it open. You stepped inside, ignoring the bell on the door. You stopped when you saw what was inside. There was one Five, out of breath and leaning on one of the tables. Probably the one you chased. Then every other customer and worker here was Five. They all turned around, pausing what they were doing to stare harder. You held your breath before spinning back around for the door.

“Oh no. Stay. Please?” You heard Five’s voice. It had already said no to him. You turned back around, not sure which Five spoke to you. One of them stood up from his seat, almost knocking over his coffee.

“How did you get here without your Five?” The standing one asked. You pointed behind you.

“Train.” You heard a few Fives snort, which you thought was odd because FIve liked to pretend he hated your pain-in-the-ass-ness. The Five you chased after, turned around to face you.

“Where’s your Five? Did he die?” He asked. You heard the Five next to him mutter something about being gentle.

“No, well, not right now. He hasn’t. He’s probably pouting in the car right now.” You said, stepping further into the restaurant. A Five sitting in the booth closest to the door gestured for you to join him. You sat down in the booth, still looking around at all the Fives.

“Pouting?” the runner Five asked. You nodded.

“We go into a fight, a stupid one might I add. He told me to cool off here in the subway. So he’s probably pouting right now.” The closest Fives around you hummed.

“Did you bring up Kansas?” The Five across from you asked. You rolled your eyes.

“Listen, he was being all picky about how I had to talk to people while arguing over how we should stop the world from ending. It’s ridiculous.” The Five across from you sighed. He reached across the table, holding onto your hand. He stared into your eyes.

“I have really bad news for you, you were a little out of line. Most of us have had the same or similar argument, and every version of you was just a little out of line. It’s nothing against you.” The Five across from you said. Runner Five slid into the seat next to the one holding your hand.

“When we figure out what to do with our apocalypse, we have to be respectful to everyone else. If we hurt any of our bonds it could cost us the world.” The runner Five said. You nodded, staring down at the table.

“Diego told my Five to ‘get me under control’ and he was all like judging me because I said we should just kill Jennifer-“ You heard the Fives around you hiss, covering their mouths with their hands. “Which isn’t the best idea but we don’t have a lot of options here.”

“That probably freaked out your Five. We want to have entirely different morals than the Commission did. Diego was out of line with those comments but I don’t know if you should’ve swung on him.” The Five holding your hand said.

“Well, I don’t know how to get back and apologize. I fully went on the train to spite Five.” You said, slumping in your seat. The Five holding your hand, ran his thumb over the top, comforting you just slightly.

“You don’t need to worry about getting back. Anytime now, your Five will come through that door and whisk you away back home.” The Five across from you said, before dropping your hand to pick up his coffee instead.

“In the meantime, Brisket Five here will make you a sandwich.” The Runner Five said, pointing at the Five standing behind the counter with an apron on. Brisket Five waved at you, before sending a wink in your direction. You felt your face warm, looking away from him to instead look at the table. A few minutes later, of you making small talk about different aspects of your life with the two Fives in front of you, Brisket Five came to stand next to you with a plate. He set it down on the table before leaning over the table to smile at you.

“It’s your favorite.” He muttered, making the other two Fives groan. You glanced down at it. It just looked like a regular sandwich with toasted bread to you.

“My favorite from where?” You asked, keeping your hands in your lap. Brisket FIve grinned at you, pushing the plate just a smidge closer to you.

“From your childhood. The sandwich your grandma made for you after a long day of playing in the sprinklers.” He said. You stared down at the sandwich, wondering if he was fucking with you. ”Try it.” You glared up Brisket FIve. He should know that you hate taking any orders from Five. He tilted his head down, staring up at you with blown-wide puppy eyes. ”Please.” he whispered.

Even the Fives from other universes knew you were weak for the puppy eyes. You sighed before picking up the sandwich. You held it steady in front of your face, still not so sure about it. You glanced at Brisket Five once more before taking a bite. You paused when you truly felt yourself transported back to your Grandma’s house.

You could feel her warm blue towel wrapped around your shoulders while your wet swimsuit was still sticking to you. You could hear her muttering about your grandfather leaving food in the oven. You could feel how the table was just a little too big for you, having to lean forward to reach over the edge. You could hear the ticking of her clock.

“I thought you were messing with me.” You muttered, looking up at Brisket Five. He puffed his chest out just a little more. He stood up straight, brushing off his apron.

“You should trust me more often, my love. I’m more than just a pretty face.” Brisket five said, placing his hands on his hips and shrugging. You glanced over at the other two Fives at your table, both glaring at Brisket Five.

“Fuck you, Brisket Five.” The runner FIve said.

“You should know their Five is still alive, you should cut back on the flirting.” The Five across from you said. You glanced at Brisket Five out of the corner of your eye before looking back to the other two.

“Off topic but who’s Max?” You asked before taking another bite of the sandwich.

“I am!” Someone yelled back behind the counter. You glanced over to see another Five raising his hand. You looked back at the Fives you had already met, confused more than when you found out there were more than two Fives.

“We are. Dickhead.” Brisket Five yelled back. Max frowned at Brisket Five.

“Get back to work, Brisket Five,” Five-Max said, before moving back behind the counter. Brisket FIve turned back around to face you. He winked at you again. He reached out and tapped your cheek with his pointer knuckle, giving you an odd sense of deja vu.

“Talk to you later.” He muttered before walking away to the counter. You shrugged, looking back at your sandwich.

“What. A. Dick.” Runner Five said. You hummed. Across-from-you Five grumbled while staring at Brisket Five’s back.

“Makes a damn good sandwich, though.” You added, sinking your teeth in again. You groaned at how good it tasted. You tossed your head back, staring at the ceiling. You heard the bell above the door ring. You turned around, looking at the door to see who it was.

In all his glory, was yet another Five. You squinted at him, raising an eyebrow. He caught eyes with you; he pressed his lips together and tilted his head in a ‘you really did this’ manner. You gasped, setting your sandwich down. You threw your arms up in the air.

“Five! Darling, I missed you.” You said, smiling brightly at him. A few heads turned back to see which Five you were talking to. Your Five walked over towards your table, sliding into the seat next to you. His hand inched for yours, intertwining your fingers.

“Thought you promised not to use the subway?” He asked, giving you a knowing smile. You tutted, shaking your head.

“I never said ‘I promise’. I just said I wouldn't which makes it a fib and not a broken promise.” You said, defending your case perfectly. Five nodded, and he leaned forward. He pecked your lips. Five lingered for a few seconds, his apology pressed between each other's lips. He pulled back and sighed.

“I’m sorry for being so dickhead-ish.” He muttered, knocking his nose against yours. You pulled back, shaking your head.

“No, you don't have anything to apologize for; I was the one being all dickhead-ish. I shouldn't have called you that anyway. I'm sorry. I should've treated you better.” You said, grabbing his other hand to hold as well. Five hummed.

“And Diego?” You scrunched your nose. Five raised an eyebrow at you.

“Yeah, I guess him, too. I’ll apologize later.” You turned back to your sandwich, taking another bite.

“And what about Kansas?” Five asked. You made a sad face, making quick work of the bite in your mouth.

“I shouldn't have brought up Kansas because we both know it's a sore spot for the both of us.” You said with a monotone voice, sounding like a tired robot.

“That was nice to hear.” Five said before knocking your cheek with his knuckle. You got flashbacks to seconds before when Brisket Five left back towards the counter.

“Oh, by the way, Brisket Five was flirting with me.” You said before taking another bite. Your Five stared at the side of your face in shock. He glanced over at the other two Fives at your table. They both nodded while you kept your focus on your sandwich. Five leaned over the edge of the seat to look over your head at Brisket Five.

“What. A. Dick.” Five muttered. You nodded.

“That's what I said.” Runner Five said, pointing at Your Five. You set down your sandwich, looking over at Five.

“Do we have to go now?” You asked, giving him your best version of his puppy eyes. Five shook his head.

“You can finish your sandwich and then we can worry about the end of the world.” Five said, kissing your cheek. Yousmiled and focused on your sandwich again. Five rubbed your knee and started a conversation with the other two Fives. By the time you had finished, Brisket Five came back to take the plate away. He sent you a grin and wink. Five reached over and covered your eyes with his hands.

“Go away, Brisket Five.” Runner Five said. After that you said goodbye to all the other Fives, telling them you'll be back real soon. Your Five held your hand, gently tugging you towards the door. Just as you were about to get out the door, Brisket Five appeared next to you. He held out a ball of foil that looked suspiciously similar to a sandwich.

“It’s another sandwich, cause I know you loved it so much.” Brisket Five said. You took it out of his hands, cradling it to your chest.

“Thank you, Brisket Five.” You whispered. Your Five stood behind you, pressing his hands into your back, and gently pushing you towards the door.

“Yeah. Thanks, Brisket Five.” Five repeated from behind you. You two were out the door in no time, Five leading you towards the train by your hand. As you waited for the train to pull in, you hooked your elbow with Five’s. You leaned up to his ear, kissing the apple of his cheek. You pulled back at the screeching of the train pulling in. You walked into the train car with Five, sitting down next to each other. He dropped his head onto your shoulder as the train pulled away. You rested your chin on top of his head.

“I love you.” He whispered under his breath. You weren’t entirely positive that he wouldn’t fall asleep on the ride home. You dropped a kiss to the top of his head.

“I love you.” You hummed against his hair in response.

“More than Brisket Five?” Five asked. You glanced down at the sandwich in your lap.

“Have you thought about making sandwiches before?” You muttered. Five scoffed, reaching for the sandwich. You held it away from him, tapping his nose in a reprimanding manner. Five humphed.

“I’m going to kill Brisket Five.” Five whispered into your shoulder. You almost laughed at the feeling.

“Just keep his apron, it was kind of hot.” Five grumbled at your words. You gave him another kiss on his head so he was reminded that you were just joking. You thought about how you were going to apologize to Diego with words on the ride home. Diego apologized as well, bringing you a large plate of Lila’s family’s delicious food as an apology. Which you took very happily.

#five x reader #number five #tua five #five hargreeves x reader #five hargreeves #max hargeeves #max hargreeves x reader #tua #tua s4 #tua season 4 #tua spoilers #tua4

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moonydustx · 6 months

Note

Hi!! Your writing is so good. I love it so much!!! Can i request a Five x female reader? Where the reader is smug and direct about her feelings? Thank you!! 🫶🫶🫶

Hi Hi! First, thank you for appreciating my work ❤️❤️

I tried my best to deliver and I apologize in advance if anything deviated from the proposal. I used Five from last season because his personality in these last few episodes is my favorite. Again, thanks for the request and i hope u like!

requests | the umbrella academy masterlist

What do you feel?

Pairing: Five Hargreeves x F!Reader

Warnings: fluffff, some things are a little out of canon, F!Reader is also someone with powers. She can feel others' feelings and make others feel hers through touch.

You still remembered the first time Five crossed your eyes at Temps Comisson. The neat jacket, the formal shorts and the almost arrogant posture for just a kid. At first, you hated him.

"A new friend for you." the manager introduced you to him and the two of you barely bothered to shake hands.

"Great, a newbie." Five replied, without much patience.

"I already have my suitcase, I don't need this new one." the cynicism in your tone was clear to both of them. When you saw the manager looking at you impatiently, you turned to him. "Let's follow the rules: don't get in my way, don't meddle in my choices and please don't expect me to save you if you're standing in the grave."

"I could say the same." Five replied, extending his hand to you. "Deal."

And a few years later, here you were. Cooped up in the family of what you could call your best friend, attending a wedding taking place under the lights of the end of the world.

"What do you think, huh? Apocalyptic weddings." Five whispered as the bride and groom entered.

"First I need to find someone who can handle it." your answer came out almost automatically and you just watched Five deny it, with a smile on his lips.

The ceremony was quick, totally the opposite of dinner. The two of you chose to sit at a table alone, taking in your surroundings. The happy couples, Ali and Viktor fighting, Ben being disturbed by Klaus.

"Can you feel what they think from here?" Five asked, filling his glass.

"Sex, sex." you pointed to Luther and Diego with their respective spouses. "Guilt and grudge." you pointed at Viktor and then Allison. "And suicide." Finally, you pointed at Ben. "Look, I don't even need to go there and touch them."

"Sometimes I forget." He pointed to your hands covered in gloves. "And you, how do you feel about the world ending?"

"Relief, I guess." You lied, seeing him nod.

You both watched Klaus approach, in silence. Brother Hargreeves tried to convince them to listen to Sir Reginald, but it was in vain. You understood his hope, in trying to somehow rescue his father's good image and no matter how much he denied it, you could feel that Five wanted to be able to have that kind of hope too.

"I still don't believe him." Five said in a low tone, despite having alcohol in his blood, he still needed to remain alert.

"Me either." you imitated him, moving closer to him. The two of your heads were practically glued together as the two of you talked. "It's a shame to see Klaus so… wait a minute."

Sir Reginald's presence was present there, frightening everyone. It wasn't the spiteful version that you heard Five talk about over the years, but there was something that didn't fit there, you could feel it.

The man gave a brief speech, with a huge poem and it was clear from the looks of those around that the situation was stranger than you could imagine. Perhaps with the intention of breaking the ice hovering in the air, as soon as Hargreeves left the microphone, the dance floor was filled with music and colored lights.

"The old man is actually good at it." Five pondered, taking your attention.

"I don't know, something is wrong. He's always alert, he won't let me touch him." you responded immediately, watching him think for a few seconds.

"Any ideas what we can do?"

"I don't know if you got the memo, but we're about to die. " you turned away from Five to grab your glass. In a cynical gesture, you took your glass towards his glass, improvising a toast. "Here's to the old man's minutes of sanity."

"How can you be so frank?" He seemed indignant, drawing a laugh from your lips. "You're worse than me."

"Ah, dear Five. Try to feel what everyone else feels for a day. All the anger, all the fear. Your own feelings become a burden to you." your words silenced him, leaving space for him to just nod and for you to return to contemplating the speeches.

"I'm glad the world is ending." he stood up, extending his hand to you while his other hand held the bottle of champagne you shared. "Screw other people's feelings."

"Yeah, screw it." You accepted and stood up.

Five led you to the dance floor and even though the music was more upbeat and the dance floor was full of his brothers, he still spun you around a few times, in a kind of disconcerted waltz.

Five soon let go of you and climbed up to where the DJ table was, taking the microphone from the strange man. Without speech or prior notice, Five began to sing. The lyrics weren't the happiest of all, much less the melody, but they were familiar to you. You remembered singing it a few times in Five's presence and saying how much it reminded you of your father, who had been away from you for years.

"Would you accompany me?" your eyes moved away from Five's to Klaus, who proposed a dance. You could notice his suspicious look as he led you away.

"You like him, don't you?" Klaus asked and you just nodded, there was no point in hiding it anymore. "Well, you still have some time until the world ends."

"And if it doesn't end, what do I do next?"

"What do you mean it doesn't end?" Klaus asked, stopping turning you around. "Will you accept Dad's plan?"

"No, no, that's not it. I've seen Five end apocalypses before, I think something inside me hopes he can fix this one too. Maybe it's just the grief speaking inside me."

"Yeah, maybe."

Klaus turned you around once again and let you go, leaving you alone for just a few seconds.

"Let's get out of here?" Five's voice materialized behind you. "I need fresh air."

Before you could respond, he held your hand and led you away. It only took a few minutes for the two of you to be alone, watching the orange sky from the building's terrace.

"Can I ask you something?" You sat next to him, keeping little distance. Before you could ask, he held out the bottle of champagne he hadn't put down yet.

"Technically you already asked."

"Stop being an idiot." your shoulders collided with his. "That's it, right? I think we finally don't have the solution."

"I can almost believe you're scared." this time, you didn't deny it, you just looked away. "You know you don't need to talk, right?"

"I know, but it's frustrating. Running after saving the world all this time and not being able to. I'd rather die, I don't know, run over by a car, with an anvil falling on my head. But an apocalypse?" you laughed and watched Five do what you had done many times when you couldn't use your voice to talk. He took one of your hands and took off the glove, allowing himself to touch your skin.

"I can feel you." he replied, in a low tone. "You are afraid."

Five preferred to omit everything else he felt when he touched your skin. Fear, anguish, anxiety, love. The last one weighed on his mind, but he knew you and knew you would come out as soon as he felt comfortable. In a way, he knew that when he touched you, you would also be aware of his feelings.

"The only people who aren't scared are those who aren't paying attention."

"I think we need to drink more, to forget about this." even after just a few minutes of sitting, Five pulled you to your feet. "And this dress suits you, it's a waste to stay here while the party is going on downstairs."

Again, he dragged you downstairs, where the celebration was taking place. Whiskey, vodka, beer, everything that still contains a quantity of alcohol became part of your menu and at the end of the party, you found yourself sitting at the counter, Five standing a few meters away, tasting two different drinks. Maybe that would be the last time the two of you would party.

"Five?" you interrupted him, making him place the two bottles on the floor. "I don't want to die with regrets."

"Elucidate me on that."

"Even though The Handler always made it clear that I was too much for you, I like you." A sob caused by alcohol interrupted your train of thought. "I like it and I know that maybe I'm a little too much for your arrogance. You're also a little too much for me." You laughed, seeing him approach. "I think after these years, it's only fair for me to say that I love you."

"You think?" he laughed, fitting himself between your legs dangling from the metal counter. "You drank too much."

"You too." you responded immediately, starting to take off your gloves. "And alcohol doesn't affect my opinion. Feelings don't lie, do you want to feel?" Before the first glove could leave your hand, Five stopped you.

"I believe in you and I feel the same." he replied and in an unexpected gesture, he hugged you, putting his face in your mouth. "I've loved you for a while, it's a shame it took us so many years to realize."

"We can live that at least now." You gave space for his face to be in front of yours. "Damn, now I wish I could end this apocalypse."

His lips took yours and instead of his hands attaching themselves to your body, Five disheveledly took off your gloves and pulled your hands until they tangled around the back of his neck.

"I love you so much." he murmured between your lips, feeling almost overwhelmed by all the feeling that emanated from your hands. "Tonight, I'm yours and you're mine, fuck this apocalypse."

"Until the world ends?" you asked breathlessly.

"Until the world ends."

Your mouth tasted like alcohol, sweets and fear for the small future, but Five didn't see the problem, after all you could love each other until the world ended.

#fiction #reader insert #no use of y/n #requests open #the umbrella academy s3 #the umbrella academy #five hargreeves #five hargreaves x reader

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acearcane · 2 months

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Random TUA Headcanons, Pt. 1

I was thinking about what sort of uncles (and aunt) the Hargreeves siblings would be. Since we may get to see those dynamics in s4 (the Klaus and Claire pic has got me hyped) it's time to share my silly thoughts.

This isn't speculation; I don't really do that. These are merely random ideas of mine (and all very soft because I can't be an angst writer all the time). Enjoy! ^.^

Below the break.

LUTHER

Helps teach them how to drive, and really enjoys it, too.

Has karaoke sessions in the car with his nieces when he drives them around. He tries to sing all the parts and makes them laugh.

Takes them to planetariums, rocket launches, and shows them how to work a telescope; he'll map the night skies with them for hours.

Was always the favorite when it came to playing hide-n-seek or tag; he invented a game called "crazy monk" where he makes scary faces and chases them around the house.

Could carry one niece on each shoulder easily; they loved it.

DIEGO

Is there for them after their first break-up. He takes them to a rage room and they have a grand time smashing things to bits.

Teaches them self-defense, as well as how to properly throw a knife. He may have gifted them their first knife a little too early, though.

Attends all of their sports games and track meets, and is there to scream and cheer from the sidelines (or shout at the ref if needed).

Learned how to style hair so he could give his daughter and niece all sorts of fun and dramatic hairdos; on speed dial for "crazy hair day" at school.

ALLISON

The one who takes them out for their first drink when they turn 21.

Likes to buy a lot of little presents for them, although they'll occasionally get jump-scared by something huge, like a new car.

Loves to go on trips with them; was definitely their travel companion for their senior graduation trip.

Helped them get ready before prom and took way too many pictures, all of which she cherishes greatly.

Would absolutely be the one to give "the Talk", because all of her brothers were too awkward to do it for their own children. Is excellent at giving a quick and concise sex ed course.

KLAUS

Would love to take his nieces to get their nails done (he'd get his done, too).

Loves to go get ice cream, boba, and other little treats with his nieces.

Is definitely the one bringing home puppies, kittens, hamsters, etc. as birthday presents.

If any of his nieces/nephews were to come out as queer, he'd be wildly supportive. He'd go with them to get their hair cut and buy new clothes if they were trans, or support them at Pride, or just overall be the coolest uncle ever.

FIVE

Acts like he could care less, but remembers all of the tiny, insignificant details such as their favorite color or favorite flavor of ice cream.

Will pick them up from anywhere, no lectures, no questions asked. Also won't tell their parents if they don't want him to.

Became very distressed the first time one of his nieces was bullied; his siblings had to remind him that he was not allowed to murder a kindergartner.

Unironically refers to them as his siblings' "spawn" and "offspring".

Asks his nieces for help when it comes to using his phone.

Would take his nieces to Starbucks or Dutch Bros (is this too niche to my area?), even if he thinks their coffee tastes like shit, because he likes to see them smile when they drink their overly sugary drinks.

(UMBRELLA) BEN

The absolute best at reading bedtime stories. He'd do goofy voices and end up keeping his nieces awake because they'd be too busy giggling.

Helps them study for tests and exams (they always get the best grades when Uncle Ben helps them).

Is an extremely good listener and gives some of the best advice. He never judges them for their mistakes, but always suggests how they might grow and move forward.

Happy to help his nieces on their curiosity voyages; likes to take them to museums and other places of learning.

VIKTOR

Would attend every musical, dance recital, talent show, and performance his nieces were in. He'd be in the back with big bouquets of roses and whistle and cheer at all the right moments.

Likes to take them to do the ordinary, menial things he wished he could do as a kid, such as going to the zoo or an amusement park.

Loves to talk and FaceTime with his nieces; he never misses a single call.

Is happy to pay for any artistic hobbies his nieces want to pursue, such as music lessons or drama camps.

Have any other headcanons about the Hargreeves as aunt and uncles? Lemme know in the replies or the reblogs!

#the umbrella academy #umbrella academy #tua #luther hargreeves #diego hargreeves #allison hargreeves #klaus hargreeves #five hargreeves #ben hargreeves #viktor hargreeves #my headcanons #headcanons #vanya rambles

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justherefortua · 2 months

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finished the young blood book! Though it’s definitely YA rather than as mature, it gave me a lot of nostalgia for the post-S1 fics where people thought they were goin gto be ported to childhood, and I thought the little details and the way the characters were characterized was actually really good! I loved how many parallels there were to canon and the further elaboration on the day to day life of the Umbrella Academy (and Viktor)

I wouldn’t take the book as a 100% canon source, but here are some disconnected small details that I enjoyed: SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT

- Twice trying to wrangle the hargreeves is referred to as “herding cats”, which is very accurate

- Grace custom sews their outfits and adjusts them for each member 🥺🥺🥺🥺 Luther gets a new one every time he grows, Diego has secret compartments for his knives, Ben has tentacle openings, Viktor’s looks a little too big on him

- I could definitely see how this Luther turns into S1 Luther but also he’s such a good guy. He just wants to help people and receive hugs

- Diego;;; my goodness. He loves his mom and also very much has a black and white view of justice. This is when he figures out he likes all black utility gear rather than the uniform

- Allison )::: allison )::: It’s so weird to see her feel out of place among other girls considering she grows up to be a famous actress but I think it was a good moment, as well as foreshadowing for her whole issues with the rumors

- Klaus is so vibrant here. He learned how to hotwire a car (They call Hargreeves’ car Hermes) at 12 from a ghost, regularly sneaks out of the house through the sewage system (the siblings refuse to do this) and is the life of the party

- Five was mentioned and acknowledged a couple times and every time it made me go ): The revelation that Ben had a daily check-in with Klaus asking about whether he could see Five or not and always believed Five was out there somewhere destroyed me. My crumbs ): oh ):

- Ben is my favorite character so I’m so glad he gets a POV here and an actual voice! He definitely has a good heart but also definitely doesn’t fall into the solely “shy and totally passive” stereotype <3 also im just happy for content of umbrella ben i miss him

- Viktor!!! He isn’t sure if Mom claps for his violin because of if he’s actually good or. He’s very lonely but the kids do include him a little bit which is lovely. Definitely some parallels to S1 canon. Also! Some Viktor trans moments where he ruminates on that for a little bit without knowing the actual cause, the mirror line has relevance here. I thought it was handled nicely but obviously I can’t speak on experiences that aren’t my own.

Other misc details:

- Ben gets calmer under high pressure situations and therefore becomes pretty good at pool despite never having played

- Klaus likes to jump from roofs for the fun of it and just thinks his body is extremely resilient to head trauma. Klaus. Klaus no. 😭

- Diego uses “Boy Scout” as a insult for Luther, who doesn’t mind because Boy Scouts are supposed to be dependable

- Diego has always been pretty good at dancing

- The Umbrella Academy never stick around to clean up after themselves on missions

- Ben and Viktor can fit together in the passenger seat

- Favorite meals: Ben likes PB+J and potato chips, Klaus likes bubblegum ice cream, Diego likes roast beef, Luther hamburger and fries, and a hot dog for Allison (though according to her it hasn’t been her fav food in years, and also she forgot Five’s favorite and Viktor’s favorite)

- Klaus listens to heavy metal (to drown out the ghosts), Allison likes pop music

- Viktor learned how to drive one year before this book, taught by Pogo. He has his license! Klaus knows how to drive too but he drives much more recklessly lol

- Allison once had a solo magazine cover and she can’t remember whether she rumored for it or not (foreshadowing)

- Ben has never told anyone that the tentacles hurt when they come out ())):) [BODY HORROR TW] They are also literally slithering under his ski, he can feel em with his organs, and the skin is tender where they come out

- Allison knows CPR. and uses it after one of the siblings has a near death experience 👍

#young blood spoilers #umbrella academy #tua #the umbrella academy #tua spoilers

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fiveisnumber1 · 2 months

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Interesting things from the Umbrella Academy: Youngblood book that I’ve read so far. Chapters 1-11

(bullets under the cut as to not spoil those who want to read the book on their own)

Each chapter is written as a POV that follows one of the siblings thoughts and feelings

Unlike the show they don’t call Reginald dad and refer to him as “Hargreeves”

Luther still occasionally has trouble controlling his strength

Luther and Allison are more affectionate in the book than in flashback scenes in the show. They openly hold hands, flirtatiously wink at each other and are constantly with each other. Their interactions feel couple-y so far.

Ben’s tentacles are apparently up by his shoulder blades but he states he can feel them beneath his skin folded in between his bones and wrapped around his organs.

In the book they are still fighting missions in their academy uniforms in their late teens which contradicts the show where they switched to wearing all black jumpsuits

Diego had hidden places in his uniform, including his shoes, to hide his knives

The umbrellas talk back/speak out more than the show portrays

Klaus uses the sewers to sneak in and out of the academy because it has a high tech security system and the sewers don’t set off the alarm

Klaus has most definitely died of carbon monoxide poisoning at least once but possibly multiple times.

Klaus expresses a lot of annoyance towards the ghosts but not so much fear. Occasionally, he actually uses the information they give him to help him in his life.

Ben asks Klaus everyday if Klaus has seen/talked to Five. Klaus has not, but even if he did he decided he wouldn’t tell Ben so Ben can still have hope.

The umbrella siblings never handled money well into their teens

According to the book their favorite foods are:

Luther: a hamburger and fries

Diego: Roast beef

Allison: hot dog (formerly)

Klaus: bubble-gum ice cream

Ben: Peanut butter and jelly with a side of potato chips

Viktor: not specified

#the umbrella academy #tua #umbrella academy

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normaltothemax · 8 days

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“I—what?”

#idk man but here have this shit #✦ open starter: viktor hargreeves #✦ open starter #✦ ic: viktor hargreeves #✦ verse: main (viktor hargreeves)

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mangoshorthand · 1 year

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Flesh and Blood- [Five Hargreeves x F Reader]. Ch8 (Hard Feelings Part 3)

SUMMARY: As Christmas approaches, everything between you and Five is perfect...until a destructive temporal anomaly gets in the way. Five is convinced another permutation of himself is to blame. Nothing's simple when you're in a relationship Five Hargreeves: could your loyalties be tested in a way unique to him? Chapter One - Chapter Two - Chapter Three - Chapter Four - Chapter Five - Chapter Six - Chapter Seven - Chapter Eight - Chapter Nine - Chapter Ten - Chapter Eleven - Chapter Twelve - Chapter Thirteen

After a year of grief, Viktor told Five he needed a project. He found one.

Initially confusing chapter ahead. Proceed at your own risk

Chapter Eight: The Life that Is

Five's in the outbuilding, readying the Snowcat for tomorrow's journey. Although the handover point is only a couple of miles away, he doesn't want to take any chances. He's near enough that he could blink to your side in a second if a portal erupts.

It's been so good to speak to Klaus and Lila again. You're looking forward to seeing Klaus tomorrow, even just from a distance. The idea of having some new stuff in the cabin is exciting too- something to relieve the burden. The idea of Sloane's care package is particularly appealing.

You listen to the weather getting worse as your eyes grow heavy. It had been a fine day, but now you’re sure you hear thunder. At the flash of light in a snow-gray sky, you sit up, moving as fast as you can with your belly getting in the way. Staring out of the window, you struggle unsteadily to your feet.

There’s a swirling blue-toned storm in the sky. It’s a portal, but not one of the baby’s. There’s no pain and it’s at least fifty feet away behind all the trees. It swirls more sedately and less like a washing-machine on a spin cycle. And then, as suddenly as it appeared, it vanishes. Is it the Commission? Could they have found you? You back up, eyes still fixed on the window, edging towards the back door and Five in the outbuilding. But then the front door flies open and Five’s standing there in a suit and shoes entirely unsuitable for the snow: his heavy coat, hat and boots are gone. You don’t have time to wonder when and where he managed to change clothes before he blinks across the room and wraps you tightly in his arms.

What-?”

He doesn’t reply, he only inhales deeply with his mouth and nose in your hair. When he exhales, it’s in juddery bursts. And then his shoulders heave.

“Five? What’s happening? What’s wrong?”

He’s crying and breathing you in, his tears wetting you and hands trying to touch every part of you at once. He's shaking as he kisses your face and neck again and again.

“It’s really you…it’s you…I’ve got you.”

"I don’t understand, what was-"

He cuts you off with a sob, his face buried in your neck. His skin is mottled with temperature: warm from his emotion with patches of ice-cold from the snow.

"Fuck. Oh fuck. I've got you. I love you. I love you. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," his voice is muffled and more tears bleed from his eyelashes, running onto your collarbone.

You just hold him, confused but knowing that he needs you. You rub his back automatically and he holds you even tighter to him in response.

And then the back door bangs open and Five stands there too.

He’s the only kid crazy enough to be out here. It’s only 30 degrees or so but he whined until Diego had to give in. He could never hold out for long when Santi did that. He looked exactly like Lila.

Coat zipped high around his neck, Diego watches Santi’s breath fog out before him as he throws himself down the slide with a long whoop.

Watching from behind the waist-high fence surrounding the playground, he stamps his feet to keep warm. His boots crunch dried leaves into the hard ground.

At least this means Santi is likely to sleep tonight, Diego comforts himself. Maybe even give him and Lila a chance to fool around for once.

Santi’s cry is abruptly cut off and Diego looks up, suddenly alert. If he expects anything In the split-second it takes for him to absorb the scene, he maybe thinks Santi’s taken a fall and winded himself, but that’s not what’s happening here.

He’s just shot down the slide and should be landing on his feet, but he hasn’t. Instead, he’s suspended in midair. So is his fogged up breath, trailing behind him like an old steam train.

Diego stares for a fraction of a second before vaulting the fence and heading towards his son. He freezes himself, however, when a voice sounds behind him.

“Hi Diego.”

Hand on a knife at his belt, Diego whirls around. Standing by a nearby tree, Herb waves awkwardly.

“Santi’s okay. I just froze time for a couple of minutes.”

Diego looks at him disbelievingly for a second. He looks disheveled and distinctly careworn. Exhausted, even.

“What the hell are you doing here Herb,” Diego said, withdrawing the knife from its holster and pointing it warningly in Herb’s direction, “after what you did? You send a killer into my house, near my son?”

“I-I need your help!” Herb says, frantically, hands held up each side of his face in surrender, “Come on Diego, there are at least two killers around your son most days and one of them is his Mother- what harm does one more do?”

“Don’t give me that bullshit,” Diego growls, “you put him in danger.”

Herb blinks

“ I didn’t put him in danger. If Wynn had been able to carry out her contract that night, Santi would never have been hurt like that.”

Diego lets out a slow breath and chews the inside of his cheek.

“Please, Diego.”

He lowers the knife.

“You better tell me what you’re doing here Herb.”

Herb nods eagerly,

“We got a real problem back at HQ. It’s your brother: he changed the timeline. It’s a catastrophe just waiting to happen.”

“Elaborate,” Deigo says, sternly.

“After Wynn failed, I ran the numbers again and they showed that matters were going to resolve themselves anyway: your brother killed his fiance and the baby trying to induce birth.”

Diego feels all the blood drain from his face. His old stutter returns.

“W-w-what?” he manages.

“And that was fine, ” Herb hurries on, “I mean, it was sad; it was really sad, but there weren’t going to be any more portals. But then Five- he must have been working on it all that time- Five traveled back eight years and wiped out that timeline. That means there are two of them somewhere in this timeline and the pregnancy can continue.”

Herb takes a deep breath, pulling in air to carry on with his frantic explanation:

“You have to tell me where they are. We have to stop this. Those portals are going to get worse and worse: destruction on a scale you can’t even imagine!”

Diego’s brain is struggling to take it all in.

“They’re far away from people,” he says, slowly, “and Five can stop them, anyway.”

“Not as the pregnancy progresses!” Herb says, wildly, “by the eighth month we predict they could swallow everything within a fifty-mile radius; even break the fabric of time itself! And that’s not to mention the paradox of two Fives running around.”

Diego shakes his head.

“Please!” Herb says, stepping towards him, “I need you to tell me what you know.”

Diego looks over at Santi again for a short second before turning back to Herb.

“Okay. I'll help. But you need to tell me that all again. Slowly this time.”

You wriggle free of the man holding you, looking between him and the Five standing at the door with fearful disbelief. As you take him in, you realize he looks different. Older. His skin, though still young, looks a little worn and he has a single gray hair at his right temple.

“What-?”

But the older Five just hugs you again.

“Okay, that’s enough,” the younger Five pulls him roughly off you, bringing a shoulder up to his face to scratch an itch there. The older Five breaks free of his grasp.

“Listen asshat, I haven’t seen her in eight years because YOU are about to kill her...tomorrow, if I got my math right. So excuse me for showing a bit of emotion.”

He scratches vigorously under his armpit and gives himself an intense glare.

“What?” your Five sounds dangerous, impatient.

“Yeah- that’s right. You kill her and the baby trying to play OB-GYN.” he keeps tight hold of your hand, “and I spent the last eight years working out how to fix your…my fuckup.”

He looks around the cabin disbelievingly for a second and lets out a peal of relieved laughter.

“I actually pulled it off. I can't believe it. Would you say I look about eight years older?”

But you don't answer: you're still computing what you heard a few seconds prior.

"We die?" you whisper.

The older Five looks at you, all the mirth leaving his eyes like sand through an hourglass.

"Not if I have anything to do with it. Not this time."

You can read the intensity of emotion in his voice. His face has the haunted quality you associate with his regular nightmares. He tears his eyes from yours and addresses his younger self.

“We are not equipped to induce birth and deliver a preterm baby here. But, lucky for your sorry ass,” he shoots a dark look in his direction, “I got a plan.” He uses his shoe to scratch his shin.

“And why should I trust you?” says the younger Five.

“He’s you!” you say, incredulously.

“That's not good enough!" His eyes narrow even further as his tense shoulder scratches his cheek. Older Five's face spasms as he points aggressively into his doppelganger’s face.

“Well, I know how to keep the baby inside her until she’s fully cooked.”

“She?” you whisper.

Older Five looks away from his younger self to look back over at you, lip twitching.

Yes," he says, more softly, "she was beautiful." He lifts your hand gently and looks down at your fingers laced between his.

Younger Five clicks his fingers impatiently in the other’s direction, causing his brow to knit again.

“Let go of her and tell me how we keep the baby inside.”

You remove your hand from older Five’s and step a little way between them. He lets you go with regret but keeps his eyes on his younger self.

“It needs both of us.”

They stand with identical posture, hands in pockets and bodies tilted forward, jaws set. Through gritted teeth, the younger Five says,

“Bullshit. What’s your game, shithead?

"I'm trying to save her life, moron!"

"You've created a paradox," he says, emphatically, wiping sweat from his brow, "you know what that can do! You wanna trigger another kugelblitz?"

"I've had eight years! You think I didn't take that into account?"

The younger Five grinds his teeth as he steps forward aggressively.

"And we had forty-five to work out the jump to 2019 and we still managed to fuck that up!"

As Older Five looks murderous, you hold out a hand as it dawns on you:

“Is this that…paradox psychosis thing?”

“No,” they say, simultaneously, eyeing each other with suspicion.

“And what was the first stage again?”

“Denial.” they say, together, and then scowl at one another.

“He definitely has it," says older Five, "but I’m fine!”

“You’re the one scratching himself like a chimp,” says the younger.

Older Five grunts in frustration, removing the fingernails chafing his hair.

“How about you hear me out and then decide if it sounds like bullshit?”

Your Five shifts uncomfortably and lets out a wet-sounding fart.

“Sorry. Go on.”

“Thank you,” says Five 2.0, “Now. We know that baby’s brain is firing all kinds of crazy stuff out as it develops, right? Hence the portals.”

“Right.”

Older Five turns to you, straightening his tie uncomfortably, “She’s projecting nonsense portals outside the womb because your body isn’t equipped to compensate. That’s why Lila didn’t end up with loads of placentas or whatever would have happened with Santi: because she’s powered, her body can cope.”

Younger Five scratches behind his ear, “We’d got that far, genius.”

“-And,” he continues, “if we can recreate that compensation using OUR power in a form we can place inside her, then the baby can throw out whatever she wants and be born when she’s ready.”

“I’m listening…so do we need to anticipate the convection or wave nodes before they happen?”

“No,” he scratches his leg, “we need to produce two portals with nice, steady vortices. Any frequency as long as they’re totally oppositional. Then we externalize them, confine them to this instance and compress them into one. Think of it like a sphere to go around the baby. And because they’re constantly opposing each other-”

“-It creates stasis within,” younger Five finishes for him, comprehension dawning, “Like a time-travel-proof forcefield? That’s actually a pretty good…”

“-it’s not a forcefield," he snaps, "this isn’t Star Trek, asshole. It’s a relativity suppressor.”

“I don’t understand.” you say.

Older Five turns to you, face softening even as he smacks his lips a little, trying to lubricate his dry mouth.

“It makes sure that time IN the womb matches time OUTSIDE the womb, no matter what she throws out. It will counteract her portals before they erupt. It should keep her in there until she’s ready to be born or until her brain is developed enough to stop spitting them out. Does that make sense?”

You nod. It makes enough sense, anyway. He smiles in return and reaches for your hand again.

“Hey! You just keep away from her.”

He scowls, reaches into his inner pocket, pulls out a notebook and throws it none-too-gently at his past self, who catches it just before it hits him in the chest.

“Here’s the math, dipshit.”

Your Five looks down at the equations, stripping off his coat.

“This is going to need maintenance,” he says, slowly, “it looks like it will degrade.”

“Yup. That’s the worst part. We gotta be roommates for the next ten weeks. Until she delivers. Just to be safe."

Five nods slowly and then says, “How do I know you’re not going to wait until she delivers and then off me?”

“You don’t, " he replies, "but you’re going to take that risk, aren’t you?”

They stare each other down, both shifting, scratching and breathing a little too hard. Finally, the younger Five gives a miniscule nod and says:

“Want to try it?”

“No, I came all the way here to talk about it. Why do you think I'm here?" snaps the older Five.

“I didn’t mean you.”

He turns his eyes to you.

“Your decision, dear one. It seems…logical to me, but this isn’t about me and him.”

You look at the older Five,

“Will it hurt?”

His mouth pulls down a little as he wipes psychosis-related sweat from his forehead.

"I don't know. I don’t see any reason why it should but I’ve not been able to test that part. All I've been able to do is practice shaping one half. Lila can only mimic- she can’t create them independently. No chance of an oppositional portal from her.”

You think for a few moments. If it’s this, death or more skin-ripping portals then this seems by far the better option.

“Okay.”

Older Five squeezes your hand.

“If you just sit there on the couch, we’ll try to create one and then see about insertion.”

“This is still just theoretical,” says the younger Five, looking at himself with a mixture of scorn and anxiety.

“Then let’s get some practical experience,” he replies, with passive aggressive bite.

They scowl at each other again as he continues.

“You create one, make it simple and steady and I’ll counteract it.”

You watch as both Fives take their braced stance, hands clawed and ready to summon. With a look of concentration, a flash of light erupts from Five’s hand, and a tiny portal appears before him. It’s not like the baby’s mad, sucking voids, it’s more sedate. There’s no sucking sensation coming from it, though it makes your stomach flip.

“Okay! Now hold it!”

Younger Five’s face tenses as Five 2.0 summons a portal too, identical to the other, to your eyes at least.

“Now push. It needs to be round and fit together, so it holds itself in shape.”

Both versions of him push their arms outwards with effort, pushing the portals towards each other. You can see veins standing out on their arms.

“Smooth it- we want total amalgamation!”

Hands still splayed and tense, they both manipulate their portals: the energy appears to you like the texture of chilled butter: reluctant to mold without the persuasion of many warm touches. The older Five, clearly more practiced at this, smooths his into shape, like one half of a yin-yang sphere. Younger Five, using his movement for reference, eventually works his own into the reciprocal shape.

Breathing hard with the effort, older Five makes eye contact with his younger self. “Good. Now we need to push. There’s going to be resistance but it should fuse.”

They exchange a nod and, grunting with effort, extend shaking arms.

“Keep it steady!”

They work against the portals’ natural urge to repel each other, like the same pole on a magnet. One vortex or the other tries to become wilder, but each Five forces his half back to sedation each time it happens. Flashes of lightning-like energy fizzle between them. As both Fives start to sweat even more than before, the halves finally join, the final inch between them closing abruptly with a flash and buzz of static electricity. The orb contracts, expands and finally settles into smooth stasis at around two feet in diameter. The noise ceases and it revolves gently, like a planet.

Your Five looks to the other for confirmation, still tensed and ready to manipulate the orb as required.

“That looks good, now we gotta get it in.”

“How?” pants the younger Five.

“It should pass through her if we place it there.”

“You’ve had eight years and you give me ‘should’?”

"Sorry, I didn't exactly have a way to PRACTICE," spits older Five. And then he looks at you, nervousness replacing anger: “Do you want to try?”

You meet his eyes. They’re the same green you know, but something in them tells you how much extra suffering he’s faced.

“If I’m going to die anyway, then this is probably my best chance.”

“Are you sure? You trusted me once and…” he can’t finish.

“I’ll trust you every time.”

He shuts his eyes, looking pained, and takes in a deep breath.

“Then let's try.”

The younger Five looks between you, nods and decides to cooperate. They direct the orb towards you. As it meets your protruding belly, you find you aren’t scared.

“You okay?” says young Five.

You nod. At this final confirmation, they both push. You tense, ready for pain.

But, as it enters you, the orb only feels a little cold: pleasantly so. Despite their intense expressions, it glides into you with what feels like ease. Once it’s disappeared into your skin, it’s almost like it clicks into place.

The older Five kneels in front of you, “Feel ok?”

“Yeah..." you shift experimentally, a little disbelieving, "I can’t even feel it.”

You stand up and take a few steps around the room, half expecting the orb to be left behind where your womb once was, but when you turn around, there's nothing on the couch.

“I think we did it,” says the older Five, “but it will need us to maintain it. I think once a day, just to be safe.”

He lifts your shirt and the younger Five’s arm darts to stop him, but you bat him away with a palm.

Ignoring his younger self's objections, he runs his hands over your skin, “That feels good. You feel it."

He steps back and nods, scratching his neck hard as he does so.

Your Five steps forward, frowning, and holds your stomach too.

“Yeah…it feels…intact.”

All three of you spend a few moments taking in the success, both Fives scratching periodically. The baby kicks contentedly and you stroke a hand over the area. She's kicking you. You're having a girl.

Tag list: (please comment to be added or removed.) @dilfjohhny , @sunsunhe, @w4stedtr4sh, @nevbrooke-555, @theredvelvetbitch, @td-miley01, @five-hxrgreeves, @rorygi1more, @jamiebower88

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Alternatively, join me on A03. Here is a link to the whole series

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