#✦ — • CHARACTER • Valeria •

[bluegiragi]

birdie.

early access + nsfw on patreon monster!AU masterpost

[bruhaalla]

sometimes all you need just a older guy to make you happy and bubbly inside.

[askuemki]

I don't know what the art demons cursed me with, but thanks

If you wish she had muscles here, here's something REALLY old lol

[blond3ang3l]

“There y’ go. Breathe it in.”

“Can’t do it Val, I think I’m done for the night.”

Valeria chuckled and patted your thigh as you sat next to her. Your eyes were red as shit and your head lulled on to her shoulder. The sight of you all dazed made her smile.

“That’s fine amor, don’t want you getting fucked up.”

She took the blunt from your fingers and let your lay on top of her, your body splayed out on hers.

“You did pretty good for your first time. We might have to keep to the edibles for time being. Good job on telling me when it was getting too much. Last thing we need is you greening out on me.”

“Started getting dizzy. Think I need to lay down.”

You grumbled as you pressed your face in the crook of her neck. A small smile came on to her face as she let her nails slowly trail down your naked back, tracing the tattoo of her name down your spine.

“You are laying down hun.”

“Ugh, I’m dying Val.”

It took everything in her to not laugh at your overdramatic statement. She shook her head and pressed her lips against your forehead.

“Let’s take a nap then. You’re not gonna last much longer.”

She waited for a couple seconds but when she didn’t get a response she looked down at you knocked out in her chest. She smiled and took snapped a photo of you cuddling her. How lucky was she?

[drowsylorax]

valeria and hope in some modern outfits. trying to do more fortnite characters too. i have a handful in mind, suggestions are always welcome

[sky-is-the-limit]

𝑷𝒉𝒊𝒍𝒍𝒊𝒑 𝑮𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆𝒔 𝒈𝒆𝒕𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒇𝒓𝒖𝒔𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒈𝒊𝒎𝒎𝒊𝒄𝒌𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒃𝒓𝒂𝒕𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒆𝒔𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒉𝒐𝒘 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒔𝒍𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒆𝒅 𝒉𝒊𝒎 𝒂𝒄𝒓𝒐𝒔𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒇𝒂𝒄𝒆 𝒄𝒂𝒖𝒔𝒆 𝒉𝒆 𝒍𝒆𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒘𝒓𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒔 𝒇𝒓𝒆𝒆 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒔𝒆𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒅, 𝒔𝒐 𝒉𝒆 𝒉𝒂𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒉𝒐𝒍𝒅 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒋𝒂𝒘 𝒇𝒊𝒓𝒎𝒍𝒚 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒔𝒑𝒊𝒕 𝒊𝒏 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒎𝒐𝒖𝒕𝒉 𝒔𝒊𝒏𝒄𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒃𝒆 𝒕𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒕𝒍𝒆 𝒔𝒍𝒖𝒕 𝒔𝒐 𝒃𝒂𝒅𝒍𝒚 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒇𝒐𝒍𝒍𝒐𝒘 𝒐𝒓𝒅𝒆𝒓𝒔.

𝑲𝒚𝒍𝒆 '𝑮𝒂𝒛' 𝑮𝒂𝒓𝒓𝒊𝒄𝒌 𝒂𝒔𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒕𝒐 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅 𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒍𝒐𝒖𝒅 𝒂 𝒑𝒂𝒈𝒆 𝒇𝒓𝒐𝒎 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒇𝒂𝒗𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒆 𝒃𝒐𝒐𝒌 𝒘𝒉𝒊𝒍𝒆 𝒉𝒆 𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒔 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒐𝒖𝒕, 𝒑𝒍𝒖𝒎𝒑 𝒍𝒊𝒑𝒔 𝒐𝒏 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒄𝒍𝒊𝒕 𝒔𝒖𝒄𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒊𝒕 𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒏𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒚 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒕𝒘𝒐 𝒇𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒆𝒓𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒓𝒖𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒊𝒏 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒐𝒇 𝒚𝒐𝒖, 𝒎𝒂𝒕𝒄𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒑𝒂𝒄𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒕𝒐𝒏𝒈𝒖𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒊𝒇 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒘𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒎𝒆𝒔𝒔 𝒖𝒑, 𝒉𝒆'𝒅 𝒈𝒐 𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝒕𝒐 𝒅𝒐𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒊𝒕 𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒏𝒇𝒖𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒔𝒍𝒐𝒘 𝒕𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒈𝒐𝒕 𝒊𝒕 𝒓𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕.

𝑽𝒂𝒍𝒆𝒓𝒊𝒂 𝑮𝒂𝒓𝒛𝒂 𝒓𝒖𝒏𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒌𝒏𝒊𝒇𝒆 𝒅𝒐𝒘𝒏 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒃𝒐𝒅𝒚, 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒎𝒆𝒕𝒂𝒍 𝒃𝒍𝒂𝒅𝒆 𝒄𝒂𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒏𝒊𝒑𝒑𝒍𝒆𝒔 𝒔𝒐𝒇𝒕𝒍𝒚 𝒂𝒔 𝒔𝒉𝒆 𝒐𝒃𝒔𝒆𝒓𝒗𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒚 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒃𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒉 𝒉𝒊𝒕𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒔 𝒊𝒏 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒓𝒐𝒂𝒕, 𝒆𝒚𝒆𝒔 𝒇𝒊𝒍𝒍𝒆𝒅 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒕𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒔 𝒐𝒇 𝒅𝒆𝒔𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏 𝒃𝒆𝒇𝒐𝒓𝒆 𝒔𝒉𝒆 𝒅𝒓𝒂𝒈𝒔 𝒊𝒕 𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒚 𝒅𝒐𝒘𝒏 𝒕𝒐 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒓𝒐𝒃𝒃𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒄𝒐𝒓𝒆, 𝒖𝒔𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝒐𝒇 𝒊𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒓𝒖𝒃 𝒊𝒕 𝒊𝒏 𝒄𝒊𝒓𝒄𝒍𝒆𝒔 𝒖𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒍 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒇𝒊𝒏𝒊𝒔𝒉 𝒐𝒏 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒄𝒊𝒐𝒖𝒔 𝒑𝒐𝒔𝒔𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒊𝒐𝒏, 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒃𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒊𝒕 𝒖𝒑 𝒕𝒐 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒎𝒐𝒖𝒕𝒉 𝒔𝒐 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒄𝒂𝒏 𝒍𝒊𝒄𝒌 𝒊𝒕 𝒄𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒏.

𝑪𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒂𝒊𝒏 𝑷𝒓𝒊𝒄𝒆 𝒃𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒌𝒊𝒕𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒄𝒂𝒖𝒔𝒆 𝒉𝒆'𝒔 𝒐𝒃𝒔𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒆𝒅 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒔𝒊𝒛𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒖𝒑, 𝒘𝒂𝒕𝒄𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒔𝒎𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒆𝒓 𝒇𝒓𝒂𝒎𝒆 𝒎𝒆𝒍𝒕 𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒐 𝒉𝒊𝒔, 𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒘𝒓𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒆𝒅 𝒂𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒅 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒏𝒆𝒄𝒌 𝒔𝒐 𝒉𝒆 𝒄𝒂𝒏 𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒔 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒃𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒔 𝒂𝒈𝒂𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒄𝒐𝒍𝒅 𝒔𝒖𝒓𝒇𝒂𝒄𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒘𝒂𝒕𝒄𝒉 𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒃𝒊𝒈 𝒄𝒐𝒄𝒌 𝒔𝒍𝒊𝒅𝒆 𝒊𝒏 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒐𝒇 𝒚𝒐𝒖, 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒈𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒔𝒍𝒊𝒄𝒌 𝒄𝒐𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒊𝒕 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒑𝒓𝒊𝒅𝒆, 𝒂 𝒘𝒆𝒍𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒓𝒆𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒉𝒆 𝒄𝒂𝒏 𝒃𝒓𝒆𝒆𝒅 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒏𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒔.

[starandcloud]

Are they helping?

Valeria: Doing paperwork and looks at Y/N, who's on their computer and sees the dozens of stickers What're... all those for?

Y/N: To make me "positive"

Valeria: Are they working?

Y/N: No. Fuck off.

[decaf-mother]

I love being unapologetically a whore for fictional characters.

[ohmotherwhereartthou-if]

Some Character Portraits

Was working on some character templates and made these, have a look!

Included Templates by: Cparrisart & My OC Chart

I’m making quite a few templates, summary documents and character profiles this week. If anyone has a template they would like me to fill out, let me know!

[sunshowersanddandelionwine]

Road to hell au creature cuddles, ranked from worst to best

Horangi: not at all interested in cuddling the typical way, and too small in his shifted form to really do much. Prefers to lay on top of König’s chest and suffocate him. Also, too many tails.

Soap: in human form? The best. 10/10 cuddler. But as a dragon? He forgets how big he actually is and the risk of crushing ghost is pretty high (not that ghost would actually care, mind you, but soap would. He very much would.) he’s also very pushy when it comes to cuddle time so if ghost’s not cooperating he will just scruff him and trap him

Rudy: he’s not super big on cuddling, but he is a reptile and he won’t turn down a good heat source (Alejandro) if offered. Also, he’s not a constrictor species so there’s less worry there. Feathers are soft.

Farah: excellent for cuddles, soft feathers and warm from her flames. She rarely had the urge to cuddle up to Alex (otherwise she’d be number 1), but the rare few times she does it’s *bliss*

Roach: big fluffy werewolf, of course he’s number one!! And he’s MASSIVE (like the size of a small car) so Gaz can just lay on his flanks and take a nap. Perfect cuddle buddy. You can’t get any better than this.

Honorable mention - Valeria: fluffy kitty says yes, sharp claws and teeth say hell fucking no!

Spoilers for road to hell under the cut

Nikolai: too big for proper cuddles in dragon form (he’s like two or three times bigger than soap’s dragon form) but he is very warm. Price likes to sit in the juncture of his neck and shoulder to do work while he’s napping

[donnas-dollface]

more messages with valeria;

[askuemki]

So my Pinterest searches have been traumatizing me with male gaze garza, man I don't get why you'd need your tits out on a military operation 😔

(late night half-assed doodles of a genuinely happy Valeria in protest) Edit: felt like doing another doodle (down below), but a separate post just seems weird

[blond3ang3l]

hiya :3

do u still write for Call of Duty? Specifically, Valeria Garza? If you do, could i request something - ahem - spicy of her? >0< im such a lesbian omg (^_^;)

uhhh either g/n or fem!reader please !! Genuinly cannot imagine Valeria with a man .. also, im not gonna give any specific direction, since, you know better than me what to write for her, but plz no dark/hardcore kinks!! Keep it vanilla ;[[

thanks in advancies if you decide to write !!

-🃏🌀⭐️

Of course baby, and thank you for specifying you want something soft. I love writing soft stuff lately :)

———————————————————————

“Hey pretty, what’s wrong?”

Valeria asked as she came into you guys shared bedroom. The same one she let your little heart go wild in when it came to decorating. You were sitting there on you guys bed, your my melody plushie between your thighs and tears were in your eyes.

“Can feel a migraine to come in. Woke up to it, I took my meds but I just can’t focus on anything cause it’s all I feel.”

Valeria’s eyes as she sat next you before pulling you on to her lap.

“You feeling sick pretty girl?

“No. It’s my sinuses again. It’s not too bad but it’s just making me feel so icky.”

She rubbed your back, her cold and scarred hands that wasn’t covered by the pretty white and pink nightgown you were wearing.

“Take your bonnet off princesa. It causes tension on your head sometimes remember?”

She gently reminded you while taking your bonnet, laying it on her dresser. Her hands massaged your scalp gently, her freshly manicured nails matched the renaissance themed acrylics you had gotten done. You let out a small sigh of contentment.

“Missed you so much baby.”

Your words hurt Val’s heart. She knew you did, you always missed her when she had to stay with Rudy and Alejandro. She hated being away from you too. Her pretty little doll.

“Need to give my girl the attention she deserves. Working her ass off in her shop, gotta make it up to you.”

She pressed her lips against yours. Her hands slipped under your dress, her tits pressed against your back we she pulled you closer. Without breaking the kiss her slid your panties to the side, rubbing your slit gathering your slick all over her fingers.

Small whimpered left your mouth as you looked up at your girlfriend. Tears bubbling in your eyes. You were just overwhelmed with emotion, you hadn’t seen Val in a few weeks and it always made you emotional. Even more now when she was touching you, making your head all fuzzy.

“Shh don’t cry pretty. I know you’ve missed me. I’m sorry princesa, gonna make it up to my girl.”

She slipped your panties down and laid you down on the bed. Pushing your thighs apart as her tongue pressed against your clit. Her tongue piercing was cold against it. She was enjoying all the whines that left your mouth. Calling out her name in that whiny voice you always did when you felt good.

“I know baby, just sit here and look pretty just like you’re doing now. Taste so good mami. Can’t believe I spent so long away from you. So god damned pretty. All mine.”

She planted kisses against your clit and down your thighs before sliding two of her fingers in you. She felt you clench around her, knowing how much you needed her in the moment made her need for you grow.

“Can’t believe how lucky I got with you. You were practically made for me.”

The praises slipped from her lips like nothing. As if it was second nature to her. She couldn’t help it, practically obsessed with her girlfriend. She kept her hand on your chubby thighs as she added another finger inside you. You were probably seeing stars as she repeatedly hit that gummy spot inside your cunt.

“Val..mommy, m’ gonna cum.”

“There you go, go ahead give it to me princess”..

[vpvrtment]

winding down 🍻

[sleepybabybees]

Incorrect quotes return ✨️

Why? Simply because I can't sleep.

Ghost: Bridge the generation gap by combining old and new slang into one!

Price: Tubular AF!

Gaz: Mood to the max!

Soap, annoyed: Groovy, I hate it.

Laswell, just as annoyed: If she breathes, she’s a square.

----

Ghost: There are seven chairs and ten kids. What do you do?

Price: Have everyone stand.

Gaz: Bring three more chairs!

Soap: The most important ones can sit down.

Laswell: Kill three.

---

Laswell: Anyone d-

Ghost: Depressed?

Gaz: Drained?

Soap: Dumb?

Price: Disliked?

Laswell: -done with their work... what is wrong with you people...

---

Ghost: What’s something you guys are better than Price at?

Gaz: Mario Kart.

Soap: Yeah, video games.

Laswell: Emotional vulnerability.

---

Ghost: I’m an idiot.

Price:

Gaz:

Soap:

Laswell:

Ghost:

Price: If you’re waiting for us to disagree, this is going to be a long day.

---

Oryn: You're 'the second worst thing to ever happen to those orphans', what does that mean?

Eskell: It means i was second worst thing to happen to those orphans.

Oryn: but what’s the first worst thing?

*Awkward pause*

Eskell: Oryn, they...they weren’t always orphans.

Oryn:

---

Oryn: Eskell...

Eskell: Oh no, 'Eskell' in b-flat.

Eskell: You're disappointed.

---

Oryn: Violence isn't the answer.

Eskell: You’re right.

Oryn: *sighs in relief*

Eskell: Violence is the question.

Oryn: What?

Eskell, bolting away: And the answer is yes.

Oryn, running after him: NO-

---

Oryn: *Screams*

Eskell: *Screams louder to establish dominance*

Graves: Should we do something?

Price: No, I want to see who wins.

---

Price: Why are Oryn and Eskell sitting with their backs to each other?

Graves: They had a fight.

Price: Then why are they holding hands?

Graves: They get sad when they fight.

---

Oryn: I think we're missing something.

Eskell: Teamwork?

Graves: Cohesion?

Price: A general sense of what we’re doing?

---

Farah: How did none of you hear what I just said?

Alex: I’ve been zoned out for the past two and a half hours.

Ghost: I got distracted about halfway through.

Soap: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.

---

Farah: Listen, I can explain...

Alex: You’re making $500,000 and you’re only gonna pay me $30,000?

Ghost: You’re getting 30 grand? I’m getting $1,000!

Soap: You guys are getting paid?

---

Farah: *Trying to fill out legal paperwork stuff* Were you guys born AMAB or AFAB?

Alex: Bold of you to assume I was born at all.

Ghost: I personally was created in a lab.

Soap: I just straight up spawned lol.

---

Farah: Go to Hell

Alex, tearing up: I wish I could

---

Farah: *holding a bottle* Is this whiskey or perfume?

Alex: *chugs entire bottle*

Alex: It’s perfume.

---

Nikolai: Must be hard not being able to laugh

Price: I do have a sense of humor you know

Nikolai: I’ve never heard you laugh before

Price: I’ve never heard you say anything funny

---

Nikolai: I'm a reverse necromancer.

Price: Isn't that just killing people?

Nikolai: Ah, technicality.

---

Nikolai: Okay. I get it. You've had a really hard time lately, you're stressed out, seven people died-

Price: Twelve, actually.

Nikolai: Not the point. Look, they're dead now and really whose fault is that?

Price: Yours!

Nikolai: That's right: no one's.

---

Nikolai: I made tea.

Price: I don’t want tea.

Nikolai: I did not make tea for you. This is my tea.

Price: Then why are you telling me?

Nikolai: It is a conversation starter.

Price: That’s a lousy conversation starter.

Nikolai: Oh, is it? We are conversing. Checkmate.

---

Gaz: Why are you on the floor?

Price: I'm depressed.

Price: Also I was stabbed, can you get Nikolai, please.

---

Nikolai: What if I press the brake and gas at the same time?

Price: The car takes a screenshot.

Gaz: For the last time, get the fuck out.

---

*Nikolai and Price sitting in jail together*

Price: So who should we call?

Nikolai: I’d call Gaz, but I feel safer in jail...so I'm going to call kate-

Price: good call-

---

Nikolai: Are you sure this is the right direction?

Price: Certainly, I'm as sure as I am honest!

Gaz: In that case, we're definitely lost.

---

Laswell: Just be yourself.

Price: 'Be myself'? Kate, I have one day to win Nikolai over. How long did it take before you guys started liking me?

Soap: Couple weeks.

Gaz: Six months.

Ghost: Jury’s still out.

Price: See, Kate?

Price: 'Be myself'. What kind of garbage advice is that?

---

Nikolai: We need to distract these guys

Price: Leave it to me

Price: Centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects. Discuss.

Gaz, Soap, and Laswell: *Immediately begin arguing*

Ghost, watching in horror: Oh, this. I don’t like this. I don't like this at all.

---

'Can I copy the homework?'

Nikolai: I can help you with it!

Price: Yeah, sure.

Gaz: Bold of you to assume I did the homework.

Soap: lol nope.

Laswell: Wait, we had homework?!?!?!

Ghost: *Read 5:55pm*

---

Nikolai: Croissants: dropped

Price: Road: works ahead

Gaz: BBQ sauce: on my titties

Soap: Shavacado: fre

Laswell: Miss Keisha: fuckin dead

Ghost:

Ghost, grumpy: I didn’t understand a single word of that, and I hate every single one of you.

---

Alejandro: I prevented a murder today.

Rudy: Really? How’d you do that?

Alejandro: self control.

---

Alejandro: Is letting someone win at chess sapiosexual bottoming

Ghost: my dad would argue yes.

Soap: yes

Gaz: if you wanna see it that way, sure

Rudy: Does anyone in this godforsaken group ever think before they speak

---

Alejandro: I was thinking I'd do some magic-

Rudy: You? Magic? Alejandro, it says talent show.

---

Alejandro: Do you ever want to talk about your emotions, Rudy?

Rudy: … No.

Valeria: I do!

Alejandro: I know, Valeria.

Valeria: I’m El Sin Nombre!

Alejandro: I know, Valeria.

---

Alejandro: What's a word thats a mix between 'sad' and 'mad'?

Rudy: Disgruntled, miserable, desolated-

Valeria: Smad.

---

Store Worker: Would a Mr. Rudy please come to the front desk?

Rudy, arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem?

Store Worker: points to Alejandro and Valeria

Store Worker: I believe they belong to you?

Alejandro and Valeria, simultaneously: We got lost :(

Rudy: I didn’t even bring you guys here with me

[sombrashe]

She loves watching the way your thighs jiggle as you walk, the way they ripple with every step always without fail has her staring

She loves watching the way your ass bounces as you grumble and struggle with your jeans, the way it's so thick it makes jean hunting hard

She loves the way your stomach folds every time you bend over to grab something, your shirt getting stuck in between the folds until you can straighten it out

She loves when you snuggle and she can use these perfect plump places as the most comfortable pillow known to man

She loves your body in a way that is infeasible to you, she loves all the folds and how much of you there is to hold