#✕. out of hershey bars.

[lookwhatyoudidithasanxiety]

*Sits eating popcorn in worry, wondering wtf context is*

Sun: You never let me help! You never open up! You said we'd talk, and then Kill Code happened and- and- *sobs*

Moon: That wasn't my fault! I didn't know he was- he was sentient! I thought I had time-!

Sun: Newsflash, we didn't! He was sentient! And you ignored your feelings like usual, so he got stronger and took over for a MONTH!

Moon: Godammit, Sun! You think I'm doing all this on purpose or something?!

Sun: Maybe! It'd explain why you said you were fine and that we'd talk 'in a week'. I'm really doubting that you were ever going to actually talk to me.

Moon: Oh here we go. It's all my fault because I didn't want to hurt you, huh? Is that it?!

[fluffyapathybunny]

I made brownies with some Amish Friendship Bread starter my replen manager that left us gave me (and two other coworkers)

[dessertgeek]

White chocolate has flavor and deserves better.

Because the big reason many think of white chocolate mainly as 'white waxy stuff that ideally happens to other people,' especially in the US, is because the mainstream chocolate industry has essentially lied to us about what white chocolate is. For years.

Like okay, most likely in the US if you've had white chocolate on its own, you're thinking of a Hershey Cookies 'n' Creme bar.

I wrote 'creme' there, not 'cream' - that's not a typo, that's the real name. Because it contains no cocoa butter. As in, here are the ingredients:

Sugar

Vegetable Oil (Palm Oil, Shea Oil, Sunflower Oil, Palm Kernel Oil, Safflower Oil)

Skim Milk

Corn Syrup Solids

Enriched Wheat Flour (Flour, Niacin, Ferrous Sulfate, Thiamin Mononitrate, Riboflavin, Folic Acid)

Lactose

Contains 2% or Less of:

Cocoa Processed With Alkali

Whey

Lecithin

High Fructose Corn Syrup

Chocolate

Baking Soda

Salt

Natural Flavor

Artificial Flavor

PGPR

It can't even legally call itself white chocolate. It's a creme bar, or a 'white' bar, but not a white chocolate bar.

And it's not just Hershey. If you look around the fine print in grocery stores you'll see a lot of 'white' or 'creme' or 'candy' products, but not much in the way of 'white chocolate.'

In contrast, here are the ingredients for a bean to bar white chocolate bar, Pump Street 44% Hacienda Limon: cocoa butter, cane sugar, milk powder. And that 44% means it's 44% cocoa butter.

What's even more offensive is that cocoa butter, like the cocoa beans it's pressed from, has flavor. Sure it's mainly creamy, but it's like how quality butter from happy grass fed cows has more depth of flavor compared to the cheaper stuff. Which is why brands like Pump Street make single origin cocoa butters, because they can show off that flavor.

So yeah, if you can try bean to bar or craft white chocolate, please do? You might be pleasantly surprised.

[junewild]

my husband is pulling snacks out of my nightstand like it’s a fucking clown car

[fagrackham]

I am in pain

[croaksac]

everytime i see amaury the chocolate smith I'm consumed thinking about how funny it would be for him to make a really bad chocolate house out of hershey bars like a kid would make, but all the video production values are the same and he's still got that winning smile

[thisisnottherealryannross]

"can you see if we have anything good to eat? like a candy bar."

nana be so fucking for real rn

[swagbitch666]

coworker just asked me if anyone’s told me before that i’m just like this bitch millicent which is hilarious bc i compared myself to her like a month ago

[madegeeky]

For Halloween this year, our neighbors gave Mars half a fucking pound of hershey's mini milk chocolate bars.

Like, who fucking eats these besides on s'mores.

Seriously, what the fuck.

So, dug through all my baking books to see if any used milk chocolate for something and found a handful. Since they were Mars' candy, I let her pick. She, of course, picked the recipe that has an insane amount of chocolate involved.

So, in a couple weeks (after Thanksgiving leftovers have been cleaned out and I have the fridge space again) I'm making a boozy chocolate cake with a boozy chocolate mousse with a boozy chocolate sauce and sweet and spicy nuts.

Yeah, it uses three different types of booze (chocolate cream liqueur, Irish whisky, and dark rum) and each item (with the exception of the nuts) has at least 3 tablespoons of some combination of alcohol above. But I had the most chocolate things listed so it's the one Mars chose. XD

For anyone wondering, the author calls this the heartless bastard break-up cake and the servings are: 6 to 8 (on a good day) / 1 (on a bad day)

Anyway, very excited. My foot has kept me from doing a lot of shit but I think the thing I've missed most is baking.

[thevalleyoftriumph]

trick or treat! :)

u get a fruit rollup, one of those peanut butter cupz, and a sticky hand :3

[rararasputins-dick-mind-control]

i fucking.hate july. Why am i listening to vintage autumn music its not even fucking augusy.

[gemharvest]

Oh hey update the Mr Beast chocolate was pretty good. Worth it for the bit.

[tinyowlthoughts]

The EC-Theobromine: Chocolate

"Ugh, I would kill for some chocolate right now."

Gorvan fumbled the holopad he'd been typing on, all four hands brushing against the screen as he tried to keep it from hitting the ship floor. He failed and it bounced off the tiles - thankfully neither breaking, nor denting the flooring. Grimacing, he swept it up with his tail and checked over the casing, before the alarming words registered in his head. A glance at the couch showed the human - Max - hadn't moved - still twisted up in their weird, pretzely way, chin in their weird five-fingered hand as they peered at the passing stars with a far-away look in their eyes.

"You, uh, want...chocolate?" He asked, certain he'd misheard.

"Oh my god, yes." Max heaved a sigh, shoulders rising to their weird, inefficient ears before dropping back down. "Jesus, I'd even eat a Hershey's Bar right now."

Gorvan gripped his tablet with two of his hands, hard enough to crack the casing. "Oh, um - what is a 'Hershey'?"

Max didn't look away from the window, still lost gazing into the galaxy. "It's a type of chocolate bar from Earth. Maybe a Mars Bar or a Milky Way would be better..."

Gorvan huffed through his nostrils, tail lashing anxiously behind him. "Oh. Um. I - er, I forgot I have a meeting with Captain! I have to go." Without waiting for an answer he turned and fled the recreation room, hooved feet clattering against the floor, desperate to report what he had heard. He missed the bemused look Max gave him before returning to his star gazing.

🍫🌌🍫🌌🍫🌌🍫🌌🍫🌌🍫🌌🍫🌌🍫

"Max."

The human paused upon entering the meeting room, seeing the rest of the C7H8N4O2 Star Explorer gathered around the table. All eight were tense in their seats, and the moth-like Elaana looked like she'd been crying. (Well, the species equivalent, which appeared as a dusting of pollen along her sharp cheekbones.)

Taurvin, the captain, was sitting in the largest seat at the head of the table, his considerable bulk looming over the rest of them. Oddly, the first-mate seat to his left was empty. Gorvan was instead sitting in Max's own.

"Uh, hey all. We playing musical chairs?" Max glanced between the empty chair and Gorvan, but when nobody asked for an explanation to their odd human reference (a common occurrence), they figured it wasn't the time for jokes.

"Have a seat, Max." Taurvin motioned to the first mate seat and, with a bit of hesitation, Max moved to take it. Luckily Gorvan, despite being bulky himself, wasn't too much larger than a standard human and the chair was comfortable enough. "We have something important to address."

Oh god above, what had they done this time? Max tried to think back to all the interactions he'd had onboard the last few weeks, but couldn't come up with anything too egregious. Sure, there was the whole joke with 'human snot is acidic' thing but that had been more of a gross-out joke for Elaana, the ships medic, who hadn't seemed to upset when he accidentally sneezed on her a few days later and dropped the act. Epitak, the ships engineer, had been pretty pissed when ze found out Max had taken apart the air filtration unit in their quarters to try and understand how it worked, but ze had also walked him through repairing it, so they thought it was all forgiven.

Oh jeeze, had they found the plans to get a kitten onboard under the 'emotional assistance animal' loophole?

"Max." Taurvin's normally jolly voice was grave, and all the crews eyes were on them as he spoke. "It has come to my attention that you have been expressing some...troubling thoughts."

Okay, definitely the kitten thing then. "Look, I can explain," they started, but Taurvin held up a large, three-fingered hand and stopped them.

"I do not want you to feel pressured to speak to us if you do not wish to. As a member of the Intergalactic Exploration Society, you have access to mental health resources at no cost, any time, anywhere. I will be more than happy to assist you in setting up a link to a therapist through HR and, if required, will grant you time off the ship if you need it. You are the best navigator I have ever seen, and I do not want to lose you."

"Well, thanks, but uh, what do you mean?" Max glanced around the table and noticed that their normally upbeat crew were all showing signs of distress (Elaana was brushing away newly fallen pollen from her compound eyes).

"Max, you requested chocolate." Gorvan reminded them. "This morning, you said you would even eat a substance known as a Hershey Bar from your home planet." The human had never heard the first mate sound so distressed. When Max just blinked, Epitak took over, beak clacking anxiously as ze spoke.

"We understand that many planets have government programs in place for self euthanasia," ze explained, technical as always in his word choice, "but we aboard this ship would much rather assist you in healing rather than lose you, despite what you may feel is best for you. Suicide by theobromine is not the way forward."

"...what."

"It's okay, love!" The pollen was flowing freely from Elaana's eyes now, and she blinked it away with her long lashes. If there weren't a table between them, Max was sure she would have bundled them up in a full-wing hug and refused to let them go. "We'll support you through it all, we promise. You're part of our crew - our family, and we never want you to feel otherwise!"

"Well, uh, thanks. I see you all as family too...?" Max glanced at the four remaining crew members. Dhaca and Lenzoill were quiet but obviously upset, Qhals was staring at the ceiling with their fanged muzzle pulled into a tight grimace, and Ir'ith was -

Ir'ith was smirking.

Max narrowed their eyes at the inventory manager who also served as the ships cook (for the simple fact that he was the only one onboard who could cook). The zad merely shrugged when their eyes met, though his grin was growing.

"I think I'm missing something here." Max admitted, looking between Gorvan and Taurvin. "This is all because I got a chocolate craving?"

"A craving?" Elaana almost lunged across the table at the word, the only thing holder her back Ir'ith's hand on her shoulder. "You mean you've had chocolate before?"

"Well, yeah? All the time." Max was not expecting the horrified expressions they received.

"So humans treat theobromine as a drug?" Epitak asked, aghast.

"Noooo...? It's a dessert. Like, a sweet treat." Max had no idea what was going on now, but by the way Ir'ith's shoulders were shaking, he did. "Hershey's is a candy bar."

"Wait," Dhaca finally spoke up, leaning forward and shoving his glasses (well, glass - one lens for one eye and all) to the top of his head, "theobromine is not toxic to humans?"

"I'm assuming that theo-stuff is chocolate?" When Dhaca nodded, Max nodded in return. "Yeah, no, chocolate isn't toxic to humans. I ate it all the time on Earth."

Ir'ith gave up and cackled, sounding a bit like the grackles Max used to watch in their back garden on Earth. The avian's wings flapped a few times as he laughed, having to lean forward and grasp his stomach with taloned claws to keep himself from falling out of his chair. When he finally glanced up at Max, it was to the flattest look the human could manage, which only sent him into another gale of laughter.

Taurvin sighed, pinching the bridge of his boar-like snout. "I believe this has all been a misunderstanding," he spoke over the cooks laughter, which had turned into squeaky gasps. "Dismissed."

A few befuddled glances were thrown Max's way, but the rest of the crew were quick to leave, avoiding Ir'ith's flapping wings as they squeezed out of the room. Soon only the cook, first mate, captain, and navigator were left.

"Sorry, kid." Ir'ith finally came up for breath, wiping at his eyes as he regained his composure. He fished into one of the many pockets that adorned his poncho and produced a bar wrapped in purple foil, which he tossed to Max. The human caught it and felt their whole face light up. "No hard feelings, right?"

"None at all, dude!" Max tore open the wrapping and took a big bite of the Cadbury Dairy Milk Bar, nearly melting at the familiar, sweet flavor exploding on their tongue.

"For the record," Ir'ith said as he stood, cracking his back, "Zad's can eat chocolate to. Let me know next time you have a craving." He sauntered out of the room, humming happily.

The three sat in silence for a moment, other than the crinkle of the chocolate bar wrapper. Finally, Taurvin cleared his throat.

"Max, I apologize for not conferring with you in private beforehand." The captain sighed. "I did not wish to embarrass you, but an intervention was suggested and I believed that comfort from your crew would be the best way to show the seriousness of our support were you truly entertaining the thought of self euthanasia."

The human shrugged. "It was nice to hear you all care about me, even though I've only been on board a few months," they admitted. "And I got chocolate out of it." He wiggled the remains of the bar.

"Still, if you ever feel the need for mental health services, they are available to you. And if there is ever anything I or the rest of the crew can do to assist you in that way, please don't hesitate to ask." Taurvin placed a hand on his chest and bowed his head, a show of sincerity for his people.

"Well," Max tapped the chocolate against their chin in thought, "there may be one thing. Have you ever heard of cats?"

Next: Bluffing

EC Theobromine Character & Worldbuilding Notes

Original Reddit Prompt:

[wqnwoos]

it’s not like wonwoo to raise his voice, which is why, when you step into his living room, you’re almost baffled to see your best friend standing over a giggling soonyoung and seungkwan with a face of pure annoyance.

the moment you cross the threshold, however, he glances towards you and breaks off his sentence, smiling; soonyoung and seungkwan start giggling even harder; and you just stand there, sending a confused smile to wonwoo. “what’s going on?”

“wonwoo has a crush on — mmphh!” the rest of seungkwan’s sentence is stifled entirely by wonwoo stuffing a cushion in his face. which is also entirely unlike him, but you can’t really focus on that; not when your whole world tilted sideways at seungkwan’s words.

wonwoo has a crush.

which is fine. you’re one thousand percent a-okay with this new development. you feel fine! you feel great! you feel like crawling back home to bed and sobbing your heart out!

you’re not quite sure when Feelings, with a capital F, snuck up on you. somewhere between the time you guys talked on the fire escape of his building all through his birthday party and into the early morning, and the time he drove you outside the city to see the stars because you mentioned offhandedly you missed them.

or maybe during jeonghan’s new year’s party, where he drunkenly gave you a hershey’s kiss when you guys were stood on the balcony at 12am. or maybe when you first met, three years ago, on mingyu’s balcony. (there’s an ongoing theme here, now that you think about it.)

the root of it is — you’re halfway in love with your best friend. and it kind of feels like the world’s collapsing around you when it turns out he likes someone who isn’t you.

by the time you come back to your senses, soonyoung and seungkwan are already leaving, muttering obvious excuses (“gotta go water the cat, and y’know, feed the fish.”) that neither you nor wonwoo attempt to question. in fact, his eyes have been fixed on you since seungkwan opened his mouth.

there’s a heavy silence, when your two friends have gone, thickly blanketing the air between you two. it’s almost painful.

finally, wonwoo tilts his head ever so slightly to the side, giving you the smallest of smile. “balcony?”

and that’s where you end up, side-by-side, feet dangling between the bars as you press your cheek against the cool metal of them. it soothes your racing thoughts, helps you force back your tears.

there’s another silence. less weighty, more thoughtful.

you guess it must be the person from last week. he was supposed to go on a date last week; joshua is forever trying to set him up on dates, and wonwoo goes every few months. just to oblige him; they never work out, because wonwoo always comes home, tells joshua they were lovely, but he’s just not interested.

until now. now, he’s interested.

“i didn’t mean for you to find out like this,” wonwoo says, at last. the night outside is cold, and his words come out in puffs of misty air. “i’m sorry.”

“you don’t have to be sorry,” you say immediately. your voice sounds strange even to yourself; too bright, too false, too obviously hiding what you really want to say.

there’s another phase; awkward, this time, until you sigh, swallowing the bitter taste in your mouth. “i just — why would you react like that?”

“like what?”

“like that! just now! you didn’t want him to tell me — were you not planning to tell me?”

(am i so obvious? did you know what this would do to me?)

“i’ve wanted to,” he says slowly. “for a long time. i just — wasn’t sure how.”

this takes a moment to register with you. “a long time? didn’t you meet them a week ago?”

“what?” wonwoo sounds about as baffled as you feel. he looks at you for a long, long moment, dark hair ruffling in the night breeze, and sudden clarity dawns in his eyes. “you’re talking about the person joshua wanted to set me up with.”

“but — it’s not them? then who are you talking about?”

“i never went on that date,” he reveals. and all of a sudden, the corner of his lip is twitching, how it does when he’s amused and trying to hide it.

“so who do you,” you hesitate, swallowing again, “like? do i know them?”

there’s a smile threatening to break out on his face. you’ve never felt so out of sync with him. “i’d say you know them pretty well, actually.”

you sit there for a minute. trying not to think about how much this hurts, and instead trying to think of who this mysterious person could be.

“a hint,” wonwoo says, suddenly. his hand reaches up, thumb brushing against your cheekbone with a tenderness that has your heart stumbling. “they’re really fucking stupid.”

that’s all it takes for it to click. one second you’re frowning; the next, you’re wide-eyed and hot to the touch, whispering a soft, breathless - “really?”

there’s the laugh you love so much, escaping his throat as he speaks; “you didn’t hear seungkwan, inside?” when you shake your head, he continues, “he said — wonwoo has a crush on you.”

“oh. oh.” you gasp, suddenly so incredibly warm on the inside. you could boil over with it, this full, aching bliss. “i heard wonwoo has a crush. and that’s it.” you hesitate, lifting a hand up to meet his, slipping your fingers between his — your gazes meet. “is it really me?”

wonwoo kisses your knuckles, and it’s so much sweeter than any hershey’s kiss. “of course,” he says, and adds simply —“who else?”

an / ok so i just wrote a whole vernon thing and then posted it and then accidentally deleted it while trying to queue some srbs and i wanted to cry. but instead i wrote this. there was an anon who once said they hoped i’d write a wonwoo f2l one day and so best friend this is for YOU!!!!!

perm taglist: (sorry it’s formatted so weird!! the only way i could get it to work 😭) @n4mj00nvq @eoieopda @som1ig @glowunderthemoon @wondering-out-loud

@tokitosun @hannyoontify @sahazzy @icyminghao

@nicholasluvbot @lvlystars @immabecreepin @hanniehaee @kokoiinuts

@astrozuya @doublasting @yepimthatonequirkyteenager

@wootify @weird-bookworm @phenomenalgirl9 @lightnjng @strnsvt

@onlyyjeonghan @athanasiasakura

@iamawkwardandshy @twilghtkoo @yuuyeonie @lllucere @pearlesscentt

@sourkimchi

[bpmiranda]

I LOVE UR WORKS EEEEE will u write some fluff abt logan comforting reader after a hard day???

Just Hold Me (Logan Howlett)

A/N: fluffy, so very fluffy, soft bf!logan, sad gf!reader

Logan knows immediately when you come home. He can sense it in the way you’re trembling, sniffling before any tears fall, heading straight for the emergency chocolate bar you have in the cupboard. Initially, he grows upset with whatever or whoever upset you and sent you back home to him in this state. “What happened, sweetheart?” He asks, coming up behind you and wrapping his strong arms around your waist. His chin rests softly on top of your head as you chew a piece of your Hershey’s bar, a single tear rolling down your cheek and you lightly say ‘nothing’ which he knows is a lie. “If you tell me, I’ll hurt them worse than they hurt you.” You let out a small chuckle at this and he smiles to himself.

“It’s nothing, Lo, really,” You mumble as you turn around in his embrace and rest your head on his chest. “It was just a hard day. Just hold me, baby.”

“Hard how?” He asks, determined to get to the culprit. His hands caress your back slowly and he kisses the top of your head. “Was it that asshole on your floor? Did he say some shit like last time?”

You shake your head and look up at him, sighing softly. “It’s a whole bunch of little things. They’re nothing really, but everything piled up and I just wanted to come home to you.”

Logan frowned, holding your cheeks in his palm as he leaned down to kiss you softly. “Tell me.” He insists and you know he won’t let up till you tell him.

First thing in the morning, your coffee order was wrong, but you couldn’t bring yourself to correct the clearly busy barista. Then your pass key didn’t work to get into your work building and you clocked in late, which you’ve never done. On top of that, your floor partner wasn’t there today so the workload piled up on you and you were reprimanded for something she was supposed to turn in today. The last straw was when your lunch was taken from the break room fridge and you had to eat some chips from the vending machine. “It was just a terrible day.” You cried softly in his arms while he held you and kissed your head.

“My poor baby,” Logan murmured, pulling back to hold your teary face in his hands. “How about this? Go take a shower, get into some comfy clothes, and I’ll get some supper fixed, yeah?” You nod, sniffling as he kisses your forehead and leads you to the bathroom.

You’re turning on the shower when he returns with some clothes for you and tells you he’s going to run to grocery store down the street for some ingredients. You take your shower, feeling better having talked to Logan and now being under the soothing, hot water. As you’re drying your hair, now dressed in a pair of sweatpants and a tank top, you hear Logan coming back through the front door.

“You find what you were looking for?” You ask as you walk out of the bathroom and into the living area where you see him setting down a cup of coffee from your favorite shop on the table with a take out box of the same lunch you had stolen today.

A pout forms on your lips, your bottom lip trembling, and Logan chuckles lightly as he walks over to you and gathers you in his arms. “I didn’t get this stuff to make you cry, baby.” He teases and you giggle between sniffles.

“You’re just really sweet, you know that?” You tell him, looking up at him through tears and small smile on your lips. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“Hopefully you’ll never have to find out.” Logan says as he kisses you softly. “Come on, let’s eat and we can watch that Tarantino movie you like.”

This healed me😭

[ddejavvu]

eddie brock wanting to go out with reader, so she dresses up but venom takes over and compliments her in his own weird ways <3

Your ring nearly snags a thread on the inside left cup of your dress, and you carefully retract it before it can tear the garment. There's a lace edge beneath your bra that's itching something fierce, and you can't wait to take the dress off tonight.

Or, of course, have it taken off of you.

"Eddie?" You call through the apartment, now peering down at your necklace as you try laying it against your chest in a particular way, "Ready to go, babe?"

"Yeah," He calls from the kitchen, the soles of his dress shoes clicking against the wood floor as he comes to find you, "I was thinking we could- woah."

His abrupt stop makes you glance up, and he's got his eyes glued to your dress. It's a new one, a rich brown hue that drapes down your frame like you're a modern-day Jessica Rabbit.

I take it you like the dress," You laugh, watching Eddie's cheeks go pink. He needs a moment to recover, and you're patient enough to give it to him, but venom isn't.

With a series of ungodly squelches the symbiote envelops your boyfriend, sharp, jagged teeth already set in a grin that barely holds back his massive tongue. His eyes are narrowed and it makes his grin that much more predatory, a look that sends a shiver down your spine.

"I do not know why Eddie will not talk." Venom leans in, hulking figure crowding your own smaller one, "But I want to. You look delicious. You look like chocolate."

"Yeah?" You grin at Venom, fingers fiddling with the silky fabric of your dress, "Thanks, Venom."

"Do you know what I do to chocolate?" Venom leans in farther still, until you can feel his breath fan over your face. He's intoxicatingly large, and your vision is entirely taken up by him.

"I do," You laugh, reaching up to cup his cheek, "I've found enough massacred remains of hershey bars around this place to know you're not gentle with them."

"I would like to do that to you." Venom's tongue comes out to lick over his teeth, a slimy, dripping, circular path, "But for your comfort I think that we should do it on your bed."

"Not right now," You lament, leaning your forehead against his and kissing the space where his nose should be, "We have to eat first. But maybe you can arm wrestle Eddie for me later, big guy."

"I would win an arm wrestle." Venom boasts, thinking literally instead of picking up on the broader meaning of your words, "Eddie is a weak loser."

"A weak loser who's paying for my dinner tonight," You pinch at Venom's arm, though you're sure it doesn't hurt him, "Lemme see him again, V. We can't be late to this place or we'll lose our table."

Venom is very polite with you. He follows orders seamlessly, shrinking back into Eddie until the man's tanned skin breaks through the black goop that had been swarming it. He's on you in an instant, hands against your hips and nose knocking into yours, "You think I'm a weak loser?"

"No!' You laugh, kissing the smile he's trying to tamp down in the name of dramatics, and wriggling from his grip to grab your helmet off of the counter, "I just think Venom could beat you in an arm wrestle."

"It's true," Eddie calls after you, jogging to catch up as you head for the door, "But it's not nice!"