swagbitch666

[swagbitch666]

yo mr white can you sign my permission slip so i can go to the aquarium bitch

[swagbitch666]

they used to make smackable technology. you used to be able to hit your tv when it didn't work good.

[swagbitch666]

harrowhark nonagesimus is the character of all time. she weighs 6 stone soaking wet. she doesn’t sleep. she’s 200 dead babies. she puppets her dead mum and dad. she’s a nun. she’s in love with a frozen corpse. she gets a headache when people talk about sex. she wants to die. her bodyguard is in love with her. her weird colleague is in love with her. she gave herself a lobotomy. she’s being piloted by the soul of the planet earth. she loves bones. she wants to live. she makes soup. she watched god have a threesome. she looks like a ferret. this is all canon

[swagbitch666]

[swagbitch666]

canon dialogue

[swagbitch666]

tamsyn wrote, "and then they kissed" after every homoerotic griddlehark scene and then laughed and deleted it

[swagbitch666]

Me: this is some of what people call ‘that Zaza’

My imaginary British friend: I’m proper tallywacked off of this cannabinoid

Me: yessirrrr

[swagbitch666]

We’re balling? It’s about to be the golden age of prescription drug abuse.

[swagbitch666]

keep thinking of this tweet and trying to not crack up in front of women

[swagbitch666]

big fan of these photos I took with a fisher price camera when I was like 8

[swagbitch666]

[swagbitch666]

op turned off reblogs but I want this forever

[swagbitch666]

(lights a cigarette) nobody even wants to play toys anymore. (puts the cigarette out on a play-dough ashtray) because of work.

[swagbitch666]

its so sweet to me whenever a reconstruction of a neanderthal's face shows up on social media and people are like "oh they would have loved minecraft" "they would have loved weed brownies" it's so sweet. i hope that continues on to the next stage of human evolution. i want whoever comes next to dig me up, reconstruct my face, and for the girlbloggers of this far-flung civilization to go "duuuude she would have loved churfing back a freefing zarbee"

[swagbitch666]

there's a stage in sandwich consumption where it's falling to pieces & you're desperately cupping it in your hands & it's like this poor wounded animal that is covered in mustard & wants to die

[swagbitch666]

wheres seasons greasons