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rush
“nine to nine, you're on my mind all day
you're my world and my sweet escape”
masterlist
a/n: HI GUYS! editor ❌ writer ✅ no fic coming tomorrow or thursday :( sorry. also i almost fell asleep writing this but i drank celsius lol, enjoy!!
warnings: not proofread, fluff, tension
| your phone buzzed with a notification. your phone had been quite dry, but whenever you get a notification you answer it immediately. it was from instagram.
message request from: ellie 💫 accept it?
“hm, whos this?” you thought. no person had dmed you out of the blue before. only close friends and family. “sure, why not?”
after accepting the request, you see the message she left for you.
“hey :)”
you respond back. “hiii”
e: “i dmed you because i saw we have a lot of interests in common, hope you dont mind.”
you needed new mutuals to talk about the same shit you liked, only a handful of people at your school, but they were mostly older.
r: “oh dont worry, i dont mind. so you like the same things as me mostly?”
e: “unless there’s something i dont know about, than yes”
“shes kinda funny” you thought.
r: “lol, i like music, clothes, painting, shopping, sports, all that shit.”
e: “i like sports also, what do you watch?”
r: “basketball, loved it since i was 5”
e: “damn thats for a long ass time. i tried it but its ehh not for me.”
r: “well what do you watch or play?”
e: “soccer, i play and watch.”
r: “nicee. i want to play soccer, but i don’t know how to play lol.”
e: “maybe i can teach you one day.”
shes bold, but you had no complaints about it.
you saw in her bio, she lived in the same area as you. you decided to ask her if you’d like to meet up and get some coffee. you had nothing to do this weekend and wanted to get out of the house anyway.
r: “hey, i saw you’re in the bay? you mind if you wanna get coffee and chat? get to know each other more?”
you pressed send before even thinking twice. “fuck fuck fuck why did i do that? she must think im so annoy-“ until you felt a buzz.
e: “sure, id like that.”
a smile grew on your face.
the next morning you woke up, went to the bathroom to do your 5 step skin care routine. while waiting for your skin to dry, you decided to pick out an outfit. the weather was partly cloudy, so you picked out a pink sweater, a white tank top, and some jeans. you changed, then applied your makeup, making sure everything was going perfect. you did your eyeshadow a baby pink color, with some glitter on the center of your eyelids.
the cafe was around 5 minutes away from your house, so you decided to walk. it was a good dose of vitamin D, and you needed some fresh air.
when you get there, you see her sitting in a chair. she has auburn hair in a mullet, green eyes and freckles on her face. she was wearing sweats, a compression shirt with a button-up short sleeve shirt on top.
you smiled as you sat down, placing your tote bag down. “hi!”
“hey, you look nice.” she replied. the comment caught you off guard, making you immediately flustered.
“thank you.” you said back “you look nice too. wanna order anything? its on me don’t worry.”
“nono i got it, thank you for the offer.” you and ellie went up to the counter placing your orders. ellie ordered an iced americano with a marble cake. you weren’t really hungry, so you just ordered a matcha.
you both sat down at the table and started talking. you both talked like it was your last day on earth. you told each other your personal lives, schooling, etc.
you both talked so much that you guys lost track of time. before you knew it, the sun was starting to set. “wanna see the sunset? lets see if it has pretty colors today.” she asked.
“yess, i love sunsets.” you said. you got your bag, and headed out the door with her. you decided to walk to the local park and watch the sunset.
you both sat down on the grass, enjoying the view. a random wave of drowsiness hit you. before you knew it, your head was on ellies shoulder and you were out like a light.
15 minutes later you wake up from her shoulder, still at the park. the sun had fully set, and you realized what had happened.
“im so sorry, i didn’t mean to.” you said.
“dont worry, i kinda enjoyed it actually.” ellie replied back, soothing your worries.
“yup, shes still bold.” you thought. “this was fun ellie. im gonna head home now, we should do this again sometime.” you told her enthusiastically.
“me too, this was very nice. see you again sometime soon.” she replied.
before you went to bed, you got another message from her.
“goodnight.” ellie said
“goodnight.” you replied back
the next morning, you were bombarded with texts. and you liked it.
for the next 3 days, you both were talking from sun up to sun down, never getting bored. you noticed ellie was being bold and flirting with you. “two can play that game.” you thought to yourself.
e: “i missed you these past couple of days.”
r: “oh really? how bad did you miss me.”
e: “i missed you so much i couldnt stop thinking about you. you’re so beautiful.”
r: “you really have a way with words, yk that right?”
e: “maybe.”
r: “since when are you the flirty type?”
e: “ive always been. why? too much to handle?”
r: “no, i like it. its cute from you.”
e: “when you slept on my shoulder by accident the other day, you had me nervous. in a good way. i wish you just stayed there forever”
r: “its just my touch i have on people. if you miss me so much come over.”
e: “omw.”
10 minutes later, the doorbell rang. you felt a rush of excitement.
you answered the doorbell, seeing her leaning on the doorframe. “did you fly down the highway?” you asked sarcastically. “thats only something i know.” she replied
you both went to your bedroom. it was pink with green vines and fairy lights. cds and posters spread according to match the aesthetic.
you sat on the floor, and ellie sat down on your bed, lying down to your plushies then eventually getting up.
“you’re the only thing ive been thinking about lately.” she started
“is that so? do i make you feel special?” you respond
“i wont lie, you kinda do. everything about you. i love all of it. your eyes, your hair, your style.” she spoke, all saying this while running her fingers through your hair. you felt like you falling, your heart was racing and your stomach was doing flips.
you got up off the floor and sat on the bed. she placed her hand on your knee and started doing circles with her thumbs, letting you get tingles all over your body. you both look at each other, and didnt break eye contact. you were getting nervous, so you started blushing and immediately turned away in embarrassment. “hey!” she said in a playful tone. you both eventually held hands while looking at each others eyes.
“no ones made me feel like this before” you told her.
“good, then let me be the first.” she spoke.
when you looked down she touched your face and kissed your cheek. you felt satisfied, and your whole face felt red. her soft kisses on your skin felt so relaxing. the feelings you both have kept hidden from the moment you say each other were about to become transparent.
the tension between you both was louder than any words ever spoken before. you both looked at each others lips, and started kissing, becoming drunk in each other. her taste of love was so special and sweet. so sweet that it made you dizzy. you felt like a spell was casted upon the both of you, like you could stay up all night, and never be tired. love felt so easy in that moment, and it made you want more of her. you both couldn’t get enough of each other, wanting to feel each others rush.
the touch of each other made it seemed like it lasted forever. she pulled away from your lips.
“can i be your girlfriend?” she asked you.
fuck, she did have a way of her words. the words themselves can make you levitate from the thoughts of her.
“you dont know how long ive been waiting for that question.” you told her. “absolutely.”
just as you were running out of love, you found the person you needed the most.
hours and hours what do I do now? baby
with no clue, i need you quickly
i need to feel your rush, drive me crazy and I know
i just can't get enough.
#ellie williams x female reader#ellie williams fluff#ellie williams x you#ellie williams tlou#ellie willaims#the last of us#the last of us part 2#ellie williams x reader#ellie the last of us#twice#with youth#rush twice
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waning summer days
i cheated and recorded in sections, then spliced them together because i can't get a single clean take. if it's not me making a mistake, it's noise surrounding me. this way, the pressure was lessened and i think i did better (far from "perfect" tho) and it was less frustrating.
thursday | 08/15/24
no piano today. i'm tired. but i did read more of sweet bean paste and continued to work on the databases course. today was a bit chaotic, so i couldn't get 2h of studying in, but if i sleep early, i can maybe hopefully wake up earlier to work on it.
friday | 08/16/24
tried to play piano but then stopped because i got tired sooner than i expected. (also tried out a voice recorder app to record the piano audio instead of my phone camera but didn't like it...too much treble.) i finished 1 subsection of the databases course. caught up with @zzzzzestforlife. listened to some lofi and watched some youtube.
i'm trying to get myself in the mood to prep for the upcoming school year 😮💨 i...find myself dreading more and more each coming school year for some reason. ... it's not the work i fear. i know i can do it well but it takes so much of me. and i wonder what i'm doing this for. because i don't have all the stepping stones laid out yet. 😮💨 i need to work on that, so i'm going to sleep now so i can have more energy to continue doing this tomorrow. good night.
saturday | 08/17/24
i had a much more ambitious plan originally, but the only solo activity i actually had time and energy for was journaling because coming back to my hometown reminded me of and clarified some memories and opinions i had formed long ago, how they've shaped who i am now... the rest of the time i spent with family with real conversation for the first time in a while, so that was nice.
sunday | 08/18/24
sigh. i have never felt like i belonged in my former hometown and the loneliness is striking much stronger now. i was so tired i couldn't do much today except start filling in the YearCompass because who said the new year had to begin in january lol. i'm glad today was a chill day spent at my temporary home.
i will try to sleep early tonight. hopefully i won't wake up in between and be unable to fall back asleep again.
monday | 08/19/24
today was my first day of passable sleep quality in the last couple days. i woke up later than i expected. yet i still didn't feel like doing anything. i forced myself to do some duolingo for cheap dopamine, and later in the afternoon, i attempted to get through 1 more subsection of the databases course but couldn't focus. instead, i researched how to apply to take courses at another university in my area since there are some interesting courses there that aren't available at the one i attend. at night, i practiced the last bit of the clementi sonata and tried to record the whole thing but couldn't get a good one. i'm too tensed and distracted. i need to practice playing while relaxed, focusing only on what's relevant in the moment.
review U1 japanese, start hiragana practice ✅
work on databases course 🟨
practice piano ✅
tuesday | 08/20/24
fill in the YearCompass bc i'm too tired to journal unprompted and i want to be filled with hope for this school year instead of constantly drained and increasingly discouraged, disappointed, and depressed (why do so many negative things start with "d"? even the saddest songs are in d minor...)
practice playing clementi sonata while relaxed throughout and focused only on what's currently relevant
DATABASES COURSEEE - finish 4/13 subsections ✅ (ended up finishing 2 and starting a 3rd...this is harder than i thought it'd be but it'll be good for me to keep going...)
wednesday | 08/21/24
i don't even remember what happened. probably because i wasn't very productive. i was unusually angry and moody. i tried to record a single clean take and kept failing. i merely inched forward in the databases course. it was a day full of frustrating but necessary interruptions. it was tiring. i can't wait to go home.
thursday | 08/22/24
recorded the clementi sonata in sections...with more time and energy, i probably could've done better. almost 50% through the databases course. feeling a little better today than yesterday but always easily tired. this might be my last summer-themed post for the year as i'm already in an "autumnal mood." 🍂😅 i'll see you later either here or on my sideblog @studentbyday 🙂
#studyblr#studyspo#musicblr#music studyblr#classical music#music recs#art wip#current wip#music wip#astudentslifebuoy#heydilli#heyfrithams#classical piano
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The Solar System Legacy Challenge: Meet The Founder Gen 1 pt. 1
Traits: outgoing, family-oriented, self-assured
Aspiration: friend of the world✅
Skills: Writing✅, Charisma✅, Parenting✅
Bestfriend: Winter Lotus, Peyton Gratz
Kids: Must have at least 2 ✅Aphrodite, Venus. Ishtar, Zohreh
Meet Mercury Medley,
A creative visionary who dreams of writing the world into a whole new realm as she strides to be a bestselling Fantasy Author. Self assured and confident in her abilities, Mercury moves into her first apartment in San Myshuno where she worked on getting her Degree in Language and Literature at The University of Britechester.
After receiving her degree she immediately applies to be a short story writer at a small publishing house in the Art Quarter neighborhood of San Myshuno. She’d self published many short story while in school and had gained a small following and a bit of fame.
While she has a loving family, friends and fans that adored her, she longed for one thing; a family of her own. Though writing is her dream she knew her life wouldn’t be complete until she found her soulmate and had a family all her own.
Creator of the challenge @ginovasims
Next
#solar system legacy#sims 4 gameplay#sims 4 story#itmeansiris#gen 1#sims 4 screenshots#sims 4 legacy#the sims 4#my sims
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Welcome to ma blog! 💙 (+ Links Masterpost)
Quick introduction to me -
Name: Sparkles ✨
Gender: female 🩷
Birthday: Oct. 26 🧡
chronic Sonic fanatic 😜💙
✅ What you can expect to find here:
pretty much everything Sonic 🤣
Wholesome Sonic & Tails Wednesday contributions: art, fics, screenshots, etc. 💙💛
random screenshots from something in the franchise accompanied by me happily screeching/ranting about it
Sonamy things 💙🩷 (and occasionally from some of my other ships, like Knuxouge and Tailsmo)
reblogs of Sonic stuff from other people
my fanart
my fics (they're also on AO3, I'll leave links down below)
Sonic Cinematic Universe stuff
Sonic IDW stuff
Sonic Prime stuff
Sonic Boom stuff
(yeah)
CHAOS 😈
❌ What you WON'T find here:
complaints
hate posts
politics
inappropriate anything
(I TRY to avoid reblogging things with swear words, but sometimes the post is too good overall or something so there might be an occasional one. There won't be any in my own original posts, though)
This is my space to have a fun time with moots and the Sonic fandom! 💙
Socials -
Instagram
YouTube
Cara
DeviantArt
AO3
Speaking of art, I will occasionally take ✨ REQUESTS! ✨ I won't officially open commissions till sometime in 2026, but until then, if you want a doodle of something (Sonic related ofc), just drop an ask in the guacamole box! Terms apply, like nothing inappropriate and no weird ships and/or ships I don't support, but in general, y'know. 💙
Links to my fics:
"Toddlers are harder than one would expect" - in which Sonic comes to realize that he's all but adopting this little fox that started following him, even though he barely has a clue what he's doing.
"Sonic Frontiers - Anything for Them" - in which Sonic's absolute dedication and love for his friends — even to the point of death — is explored as he scales the towers on Rhea Island.
"Foxes Go Floof" - in which Tails goes poof and Sonic thinks it's the funniest thing.
"Comfort in a Thunderstorm" - in which Sonic and Tails experience a thunderstorm for the first time and talk about their fears.
"Girl Talk" - in which Sonic and Tails talk about Amy, and Sonic's confusing friendship/relationship with her.
"Sonic's Weird Napping Places" - in which Sonic naps in weird places and his friends find him in said weird places.
"From 'Friends' to 'Parents'" - in which Sonic Wachowski comes to realize that Tom & Maddie are his parents, not just his friends, through the screen-to-text version of two actual scenes plus a new scene or two.
"Sonic Frontiers - Calm After the Storm" - in which Sonic and Tails — both exhausted after the events of Sonic Frontiers — take care of one another.
"Wachowski Family One-shots" - a collection of one-shots centering around the Wachowski family: Tom, Maddie, Knuckles, Sonic, and Tails.
"Healing Hugs" (Sonic Prime) - in which Tails tries to understand what happened with Sonic in the cave, and offers the simple comfort of a hug.
"Brothers' Night" - in which Sonic drags Tails away from his work to have a fun night together with no screens.
"The Darkness Within" (Sonic X) - in which Sonic guiltily reflects on his actions as Dark Sonic, and Tails sits with him, comforting him without knowing what happened.
"Sonic vs. Tails - The Ultimate April Fools Battle" - in which Sonic and Tails spend the entirety of April 1st locked in an all-day prank war.
"Enchanted" - a Sonamy AU, strangers to lovers, slow burn 💙🩷
(will update this as I write more)
"Tom's First (official) Father's Day" - in which Sonic faces the second Father's Day he's faced since getting adopted by the Wachowskis, and is determined to make this one better after last year's awkwardness.
"Fevers Can't Ruin Birthdays" - in which it's Tails's birthday and Sonic tries to give him a perfect day, but comes down with the flu instead. (basically the plot of Frozen Fever lol)
Dats about it! 💥
#welcome to my blog#links masterpost#sonic the hedgehog#links#fics#sonic#art#art requests#intro to me#intro to my blog#intro post#pinned post#pinned intro
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Hello 👋🌸,
I hope you’re doing great! 😊 I’m Jaber, and I’m reaching out for help to evacuate my wife, Muna, and our 2-year-old son, Hashem, from Gaza. They’re in a really tough situation due to the war, and I’m doing everything I can to bring them to safety so we can be together again.
We also lost our small family business due to the bombings, so we’re hoping to rebuild our lives from scratch. If you could take a moment to check out our campaign, share, or even donate, it would mean so much to us:
Link: https://gofund.me/b8dbbb43
Thank you so much for your support 💖
Jaber and Family
Vetted by @90-ghost and by association
🙏🏾💖💖💖
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How Armstrong Feint became Hangfire
Re-reading ATWQ fueled my brainrot concerning the radicalization of Armstrong Feint. How did a loving father become a terrorist hell-bent on slaughtering children? So I did some research on common risk factors that can make people susceptible to terrorism and checked how they apply to Armstrong. Needless to say, this only made my brainrot worse. Anyway, here are the results.
Social isolation ☑️
The first risk factor is the lack of reliable social connections. You may be all alone or unable to open up emotionally to the people close to you. You might even have trouble interacting with other people in the first place. This can result in feeling alienated. There also is no one to support you when you are hurting or interfere when you start radicalizing.
While having only Ellington's limited and likely romanticized perspective on her life with her father, there are some hints Armstrong may have been lonely. He was a single parent who spent most of his time working alone in the wild. Ellington does say she contacted people who knew him, but she never mentions anyone but her father when talking about her past. This could imply they led a very isolated life. Also, Armstrong's enthusiasm about nature could have something to do with his having trouble getting along with other people. At least, he seemed to prefer plants and animals over people.
Hardship ✅
Intense suffering makes you vulnerable in many ways. If you experience hardship and don't get support, you might become more susceptible to radical views/groups. That's what's so seductive about things like cults or terror organizations, after all: They promise you a community, a sense of belonging, and an easy solution for your problems.
Again, we don't know enough about Armstrong's past. He certainly must have been stressed out by being a single parent and the only bread-earner of the family. And he must have gotten into this position somehow. We never learn why Ellington's mother has never been in the picture. Furthermore, as a nature-loving person, he must have felt extreme anguish at the destruction of his home region caused by the flood. Not to mention the destruction of his hometown and the life he had built for himself.
There is also one intriguing aspect that doesn't get explored in the books, so it's purely speculative: the war that made Colonel Colophon a hero. We don't know when exactly this war happened or how involved the Snicket country was, but it does open the possibility that Armstrong's generation had to fight as soldiers.
Lack of perspective ❓
You're in a bad place and don't see a way out. You don't see the point anymore and don't know how you want to go on. Another allure of terrorism is providing you with a 'meaningful life'.
This one is tricky. Armstrong did have a purpose in the form of a young daughter whom he undoubtedly loved with all his heart. We don't know if or how he intended to reunite with her had he succeeded. We can only speculate if he fell into resignation. Perhaps he was shaken by the futility of his life's work after one tycoon's decision had undone it. Perhaps he realized Ellington was growing up and wouldn't need him in a few years.
Powerlessness and injustice ✅
This is relevant both on a social and individual level. When you live under corruption, tyranny, etc without a way to defend yourself, you're more likely to resort to terrorism. It's also relevant if you personally feel you're being treated unfairly and there's nothing you can do about it.
The social injustice is blatantly clear: Ink Inc. was allowed to destroy Killdeer Fields for profit, and its inhabitants could not prevent it. The flooding must have started several years before the beginning of ATWQ. Who knows what Armstrong and the rest of the town did to fight it, all in vain? We also see how corrupt and incompetent the institutions, such as the police, the official fire department, the press, and the legal system, are in the Snicketverse. This might have been a reason the V.F.D. became successful in the first place: They fixed the failed state.
Armstrong's individual perception is more obscure. He certainly realized he was a victim and probably became increasingly obsessed over this. He may have started out being rightfully outraged by the injustice done to him by Stain'd-by-the-Sea and shaken by his own helplessness. But eventually, he got stuck in this state of mind until he forgot he still had agency and responsibilities.
Over-simplified worldview ✅
You tend to view the world in clear black-and-white categories: You are always the hero, and the others are the villains. You're always the victim, the others the oppressors. You're never responsible for your actions; it's everyone else's fault. You lose touch with reality as you sink deeper into a super simple, convenient narrative of how the world works, and spreading terror and violence is the only right to do.
Hangfire displays this attitude during his conversation with Lemony in book 4. He only points out Stain'd-by-the-Sea's crimes without taking ownership of his own. He equates humanity to beasts trying to survive. There are no morals; every act of violence is just self-preservation. It's kill or be killed, meaning kill the children of Stain'd before they can repeat their parents' mistakes.
Conclusion
What can I say? These books have messed up my brain.
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Quirk: Unkown
Warnings for this chapter: Some family tension. Nothing serious.
(Proofread ✅)
Chapter 2: Uses
"Dad?" Opening the front door, you call for your father, itching with anticipation.
"Hey!" He announced, hip pressed against the counter. "How'd the exam go?" The rich smell of noodles floated throughout the room, sourced from a large pot on the stove.
"Eh well-"
"Oh, don't worry about it now," he waves a hand. "Save it for Mom, too! I'm making dinner to bring over in a bit. Get ready, okay?"
You nod, a weak sigh filtering through your nose.
You didn't necessarily want to tell your parents how the exam went... you barely got any points compared to the other students. Weak control of your quirk and lack of speed were quite capable reasons.
Not only were you dissapointed, but Dad was about to be... not to mention Mom's perspective. Tears pricked at your eyes, but you willed yourself to change into less beat-up clothing.
_______
Check-in was quick- the man at the front desk had memorized your names by now. With a subtle bow, your father led you to the elevator. He held a pot of yakisoba while you carried a bag with paper bowls and chopsticks inside.
"We had this last time we came..." You mentioned, slight frustration in your tone.
"Your mother liked it," Dad shrugged. "The lady gets what she wants."
"Oh?" You smirk. "Can I go pick up some takoyaki then?"
"Not you, hun," he nudged your shoulder as the elevator doors parted. "You're not sick and in the hospital."
No... no, you weren't.
Your mother was.
You wish you were in her place. It hurt to see - and feel - your mom in pain. She couldn't be at home because it could spread to you, and her health had been wavering from good to better to bad to worse in such little time. Not to mention that her quirk made it worse to bear.
You sniffed.
"Hey there," a voice sounded from down the hallway. You saw Dr. Cooper, your mother's main caretaker. "She's chatty today."
"Oh good," Dad bowed with a smile. "And I heard that her appetite's grown, too?" Dr. Cooper nodded, gazing warmly at your father. You felt the tension melting into something new.
'Things might be getting better... hope is here, hope is here.'
_______
"Y/n!" She called, eyes sparkling. "And- oh jeez what's it this time?" She pointed at the meeal being carried in effortlessly with your father's strength quirk. "I've been more hungry but that feels like a lot."
"I need leftovers for work," your dad replied, side hugging Mom. "How are you?"
"I'm fine. Gearing up to break out of here soon,"
"Yes!" You grinned playfully. "I'm so in."
"Even if you got the window open, there's a 500 foot drop," Dad pointed out, dishing up some dinner while you got settled in a chair beside the bed. "Anyways, y/n's got something to tell us."
You're eyes snapped open wide, face warming uncomfortably. Mom peered at you oddly, curiosity and fear seeping off her. You twirled chopsticks in the noodles, nervous, while Dad radiated with questions and warmth.
"Well," you thought back to the exam, piecing the words together carefully. "At first I was alright... I took down some opponents with help, but I didn't get enough points..." your hands hung in your lap helplessly.
Dad patted your knee reassuringly. "You don't know that," he offered. "Let's wait for the letter."
"That's what I wanted to hear," Mom's tone darkened. Dad nearly choked on his meal. You huff in frustration.
"Why you gotta be-"
"I don't wanna discuss this agajn," Mom set her bowl down in her lap, glaring at you. "It's risky even just trying to apply for U.A. I'm still not allowing it."
"Honey-" Dad winced before getting cut off again.
"Alright, fine," you stood up, eyebrows furrowed. "I'm pretty sure I failed. Happy?" The tension grew and thickened as your voice grew steadily icier. Letting out a shaky breath, you looked up at your mother.
She stared back with a firm guard up, even when her emotions shook with indecision. You clenched your fists. 'What else can I say?'
'Bad... don't mess it up... she's weak,'
Dad glanced at the two of you nervously, eventually deciding to defuse the situation.
"Why don't we finish this up quickly?" He suggested. "Y/n, eat the rest of yer noodles." With one last dark look at Mom, you stuffed the remnants of the meal into your mouth and stood up.
"I'm gonna walk home," you decided, earning a hesitant look from Dad. You turned, ignoring Mom's small wave and walked down the hall.
As soon as the door closed, a flood of regretful emotions hit you. They weren't yours.
You knew you're mother wasn't fond of the "hero" idea. To her, it was like sending a son off to war; she'd watch her child get beat to death, most likely before they even reached the battlefield.
But to you... it was like a dream-an opportunity.
Getting recognized for such grand acts and doing important work with others. In addition, you wanted to invest your quirk in something; it was difficult to understand and control, but maybe U.A. could help with that. Maybe you could make it useful. Maybe, you wouldn't just be sitting around or working at a gas station.
Things were tense now.
_______
The air cooled as the sun went into hiding, faint street lights guiding you home. Rock hard frustration had begun to wear off of you and the day was forgotten for a few moments.
Thanks to approaching darkness, the amount of people out had lessened. It was just you, the cicadas... and you're thoughts.
'I've never had to use my body before,' you thought back to the entrance exam; you crushed a weak bot with just your mind, but out of instinct, you exerted more force from your hand.
Your eyes widened in realization, a silent pride flowing through you. Even if you didn't make it to U.A., you were one step closer to understanding this quirk.
_______
Ooffff that took a while... Tumblr deleted my writing a lot due to some glitches- sorry!!
Things will begin to escalate very soon >:°
(Please let me know if links are being wierd 🙏)
<Previous. Next>
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Hello 👋🌸,
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Hello 👋🌸,
I hope you’re doing great! 😊 I’m Jaber, and I’m reaching out for help to evacuate my wife, Muna, and our 2-year-old son, Hashem, from Gaza. They’re in a really tough situation due to the war, and I’m doing everything I can to bring them to safety so we can be together again.
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Link: https://gofund.me/b8dbbb43
Thank you so much for your support 💖
Jaber and Family
Vetted by @90-ghost and by association
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WOE. BRYCE HAS PCBD ESSAY BE UPON YE. Talk of mental health and drugs/alcohol/car crashes/death/self harm! He is going through it.
---
This is all based on the theory that Stella died in a car crash!
PCBD (Persistent Complex Bereavement Disorder. I'm not typing this out every time it is way too long) is also called Complicated Grief! You will get different google pages if you type both in but they're the same thing, which is why I'm mentioning it. It's where, for at least a year (it's been 10 for Bryce. Yikes.) you're stuck in grief related to the loss of a loved one, and your feelings are disabling in nature. With PCBD you can basically never reach the acceptance phase: you're stuck in one of the other ones, usually denial (the first one). But that's not the case here! For Bryce! Because screw him even more!
Risk factors include:
If the death was especially violent and/or unexpected ✅
If you were dependent on the loved one or vice versa ✅
If you have a history of mental health issues❔(This is where most of his mental health issues spawned from? He was likely mostly fine prior. So like... kind of.)
If you were neglected or abused as a child ✅
If you have a lack of a support system ✅
If you have prior resistance to life changes❔(Again: he seems pretty resistant to/scared of change now, not before)
If anything involves children. No seriously this just makes everything 1000x worse. ❌ (He very much had graduated high school! Though you can graduate early/your birthday is just... after you graduate... which could've made him 17! Though I like to believe the accident was at least a little after then, maybe like 6 months, not the day of. It makes it hurt more! The fact that they had plans and were going to finally both be out of their parent's house and move on and then! ...... They didn't. So Bryce was super young, yes, but not a child.)
Some stuff I want to point out about symptoms (lifted from the DSM-5)!!!
"Persistent yearning/longing for the deceased"
"Preoccupation with the deceased"
"A desire to die in order to be with the deceased"
That last one is especially the most important, I feel!!! Because that's canon. ...Okay, maybe I'm reaching a bit, but when he and Liam die on that smokestack he is brought back to his childhood home (canonically not always a good place to be!) and Stella is there. And multiple times in the montage he tries to go with her! Despite Liam pulling him back every single time! He's dead and the only thing he wants is to be with his sister again!!! That's the one person he cares most about in his life and she's been dead for 10 years!!! He doesn't really have friends, he doesn't seem to keep in touch with any other family he might have, someone alive that he considers a friend later on is right there, but he just wants to be with her! That's fucking canon!!!!!
"Intense sorrow/emotional pain in response to the death"
"Preoccupation with the circumstances of the death"
"Experiencing disbelief/emotional numbness over the loss"
"Maladaptive appraisals about oneself in relation to the deceased, as in self-blame"
("Maladaptive behaviors are actions that prevent people from adapting, adjusting, or participating in different aspects of life" As in daydreaming, masking your emotions to a constant level, self-harm (including drugs and alcohol), angry outbursts, or not attending social situations.)
This, I think, can all be related to the car crash!
And has overlap with a lot of PTSD symptoms, but PTSD and Depression (and Anxiety, but that doesn't apply here too much?) both overlap with PCBD/are comorbid, so that makes sense. The especially violent manner in which she died definitely would stir a lot of these feelings up, especially the self blame. I think deep down, buried beneath a lot of these other feelings he wont let himself express since he hasnt been to therapy for anything and he just drinks a 6 pack a day to deal with it, the self blame for the accident and/or Stella's death in general is the reason he's been stuck on it for 10 years now. In canon he says he hasn't tried again until now, until after this thing happened that reminded him things could be and are worse (and normally I wouldn't advocate for comparing trauma like that, but it worked for him, so...?), and he looks so crushed when he admits he's been stuck in anhedonia and apathy and complacency for so, so long even though he does have the ability to pick himself up a little bit, he can do it, please don't take it away from him again please don't leave again he can't do it over and over and over. So a lot of these feelings regarding the accident and her death are very repressed, which just makes it worse (instead of healing through your grief, with PCBD it just gets worse the longer it goes on without any help), and therefore makes any responses he has to these emotions worse in turn, which circles back around to but what if it was different, if he had done something different, if it had been him instead.
"Feeling alone/detached from other individuals since the death"
"Feeling that life is meaningless/empty without the deceased"
"Confusion about one's role in life"
"Difficulty/reluctance to pursue interests since the loss"
"Bitterness/anger related to the loss"
"The disturbance causes clinically significant distress/impairment"
"The bereavement is out of proportion/inconsistent with culture or age-appropriate norms"
I kind of went into this already on accident? but I think this group can dive into the life we see him leading before ONE! The fact that it's so repetitive and miserable, he buries all of his emotions for fear/dislike/inability of working through them, he has maybe 2 people he talks to and it's definitely not regularly, he's alive not for any reason it looks like, just because he's supposed to be. And it's been 10 years since Stella's death, 10 years!!!! That's such a long time to be burdened with those feelings of regret and misery and inability to change and he needs someone to talk to! Not to bring up his alcoholism again but I'm bringing up his alcoholism again because it's definitely a coping mechanism, and he might not even see it as that bad because maybe his mom was into drugs, I don't know? "At least I'm not as bad as her" type thing, y'know? "I can drive because I'm not as impaired as my mom and she didnt get in trouble for it" y'know? Which, by the way. Could also be a form of ideation. He's not trying to die, but if he did? Would it really matter? He wouldn’t feel any different than how he does now. Yeah? Am I making sense?
There's also "avoidance of reminders of the loss" but that's the only one I don't agree with, really. Since it was a car crash and he still drives and he still has the picture with Stella in it and everything. I think his problem is that he thinks about it too much but likes to pretend he doesn’t. But that's just a personal interpretation thing! Maybe I'm projecting too much and distorting canon! I don't know!
Anyways! Some stuff not from the DSM-5 that I've found that I think I should bring up!
Apparently a lot of people report having hallucinations of the deceased! Full auditory and visual hallucinations! So do with that what you will!
"Some individuals with PCBD report not wanting to move on from bereavement because they feel they would be betraying the deceased." After 10 years this might be part of his mindset. Not consciously, of course, but that's his big sister. He's not supposed to disappoint her, he's not supposed to be like this, his life was supposed to go differently than it did!
I forgot to mention that earlier, holy shit. Ok so with the accident happening at that transitional period in his life, from high school to becoming an adult, it invokes a feeling of "things should have and were supposed to go differently" that you cant really... stop? In any way? But the whole point of PCBD is that you can't move on, not without a lot of help, and so i feel that feeling of "supposed to" would stick with him and that also influences his life up until this point as well. Because she's supposed to still be here, and they're supposed to be happy, and he can't be happy now that things aren't the same anymore, and yeah betrayal is also a big emotion for him I feel.
Ok I think that's everything. He really really needs therapy, that's literally the only way to treat PCBD (antidepressants would help for sure! But it wouldnt cure it per se), he needs therapy and a support system for once in his life and he needs to trust people enough to talk to them.
Actually, maybe there is a little bit of denial in there. The first thing we hear Bryce say is "this isn't real. this isn't real."
Which! To give him credit, that absolutely seems like a nightmare scenario (and it was!), but also when Liam shows up at his door he also acts like that isn't real either. And finding Texty wasn't real, despite all the evidence in front of him. So! Y'know! Denial is still there, unlike what I said before, just maybe not as prevalent as usual.
#hfjone#hfj one#bryce hansen#hfjone soda bottle#stella hansen#cat.writes#i wrote this a long time ago!!! like october/december ish???#so i could probably add more thoughts to this now! or some stuff might not make sense!#i reread it to edit it and make it semi-readable#tho im on my phone rn so sorry it might actually look weird
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Hello ! Introduction + others below ! ✨
💌 Introduction !
Name: Apple 🍎
Pronouns: She/Her or They/Them
Age: 19 years old!
Bio: Psych major & Scholar, so I apologize for any inactivity bc college comes first djskshjs
Other Acc/s: Not active anywhere else, but I write stuff on AO3!
Archive of Our Own: xXILoveMyFridgeXx
🖥️ Fandoms !
Main Fandoms: Tears of Themis, Genshin Impact, & Honkai: Star Rail
Other Interest/s: SK8 the Infinity, Mob Psycho 100, Bungou Stray Dogs, SpyxFamily, etc.
Favorite Character/s: Marius von Hagen 👑 (Tears of Themis), Reki (SK8 the Infinity), Beidou (Genshin Impact), Yoimiya (Genshin Impact), Reigen (Mob Psycho 100), etc.
Fav Ships (in order): Marius/MC (Rosa), Marius/Luke, Marius/NXX Members, and any other ships among the TOT characters!
📝 Fanfics !
1.) i’ll make the most of the minutes (and love with no regrets)
Words: 5,384
Short Description: Mariluke childhood friends AU and them meeting again when they’re adults.
Tags: Childhood Friends, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fluff, Light Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Short One Shot, Protective Xia Yan | Luke Pearce, Idiots in Love, Getting Together
Type: One Shot
Status: Completed ✅
2.) the lips i used to call home (it was maroon)
Words: 28,777 (as of June 17, 2023)
Short Description: A fic mixed with Marius’ angsty backstory & Luke and Marius’ trust and loneliness leading to a friends with benefits relationship.
Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Fluff and Angst, Humor, Fluff and Humor, Heavy Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Lu Jinghe | Marius von Hagen Needs a Hug, Protective Xia Yan | Luke Pearce, POV Alternating, Explicit Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Physical Abuse, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism (does not apply to any of the main characters), Friends With Benefits, Slow Burn, Character Study, Implied/Referenced Sexual Harassment, Pining, Mutual Pining, Temporarily Unrequited Love
Type: Multi-Chaptered Fic
Status: Incomplete ⭕️
Chapters: 2/?
3.) would it be enough (if i could never give you peace?)
Words: 10,212
Short Description: Marius makes an announcement that causes immense backlash. The NXX Team is there to tell him that they won’t run away.
Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Lu Jinghe | Marius von Hagen Needs a Hug, Protective Xia Yan | Luke Pearce, Protective NXX Team, NXX Investigation Team as Found Family (Tears of Themis), Happy Birthday Lu Jinghe | Marius von Hagen), Light Angst, Marriage Proposal
Type: One Shot
Status: Completed ✅
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🦇Pinned🪲
Helloo tword community, welcome to my silly lil blog with silly little arts
If you recognize me from any of my main accounts uhhh no you dont/silly
Idm being called Andy here
REQUESTS
The status of my art requests is in my ask button. RQS 🚫/❌ means they are closed, and RQS✅ means they are open. Any request made when requests are closed will be deleted.
FANDOMS
Here are fandoms I'm okay with requests for:
OSC
Bugbo
Sonic.EXE (Mod characters and the seven guardians [PC Port and Old Canon])
Bugsnax
ENA
OCs (friends only)
WILL/WON'T DRAW
WILL DRAW
Shipping Content (only tag as ship if I tag as ship)
Familial/Platonic Tickles
WON'T DRAW
Heavy Bondage (complete restriction of movement and/or ability to communicate)
18+ and Explicit Sexual Content
Situations Where a Character is Uncomfortable
Incest and General Proship Content
GENERAL BOUNDARIES
• Do NOT tease me UNLESS we are close and I know you well enough. I will not hesitate to block you. If you do it in asks or on a public post I will also block you (replies excluded)
• Don't discuss the 18+/kinky side of the community with me directly. I would prefer not to hear it, even if I don't really care about it. Have fun, but keep it in your lane. I don't kink shame.
• Growing from that, if ur blog is SFW or not, you can follow me. As long as ur not getting off to my art or directly talking to me about how kinky you find tickling then it's fine.
• Keep discussion about gentle tickles for the most part when talking to me. I'm not much of a fan of the rougher stuff when it comes to tickling unless it's with two specific people (you know who you are).
EXTRA
If you know my main accounts, please respect my privacy and don't share it with other people/publicly. I would prefer to not be found out and have to explain that I don't see this shit as sexual.
I occasionally have depressive episodes where I don't post or talk in DMs at all on my socials. This applies to my tickle blog as well. I apologize. If you do want to talk to me during these episodes, DM e and I'll give you my discord.
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