#☾ｏｕｔｏｆｔｈｅｄａｒｋ☽//ooc

[imperialroseking]

This is Evidence, Not a Callout

//Let the record show I played nice and kept quiet for as long as I could handle. This is in no way a callout post. Unlike Majora, I’m not petty and stopped caring long ago. But when she involves my friends in this, I’m drawing the line.

This is all evidence for problematicdirectory and every screenshot is either from Discord or Tumblr. All but one were taken by me personally, and I will never reveal the source of the one I didn’t take. I highlighted all the similarities between our muses, all the headcanons she stole from me. The only one I couldn’t match was the wind flute, and honestly, it’s an obscure reference she didn’t even know existed before me. No one plays Airborne Brigade, and I got that off the wiki.

Other than that, most of it is our argument, in context, with only a couple superfluous lines of caps locks and bolds left out. The last one is her trying to sully my reputation and manipulate others. Best part is I’m not the only one she does it to, and ironically, she says she’s over me. Doesn’t seem like she is.

Oh well. If I lose followers for defending myself again, so be it. I’d rather get the word out about her behavior and be chased out of the fandom than let her pull this with someone else, maybe even a friend of mine.

[imperialroseking]

So About vadcriisms....

//I’m sorry, Majora. I was fine with where this ended until you did this and blocked me on the blog. Even if you can’t read this, everyone else will. You messed with the wrong person this time. I hope the rest of you enjoy and understand that I take no pleasure in this. She was once my friend, after all, and I haven’t blocked her like she has blocked me. In the end, though, this is trying to be an indirect smear campaign, and I will not allow that.

Wanna know why Majora suddenly has a Leon muse? Because she wants to get back at me. She thinks I’m too OOC for actually giving him humanity. How rich. Doesn’t help she’s using my headcanons like the PTSD, questionable sexuality, and even the way she has him act to a degree (some of his mannerisms match with my muse’s in an uncanny way). I’m not saying I hold a copyright, but it’s telling when her character is just like mine without the traits that make mine likable in the first place.

Not like I need to smear her muse much more or acknowledge she blocked me to prove she’s being petty. I won’t stoop to her level. Instead, I’ll just reveal why she’s suddenly doing this. I have quotes to back me up, so don’t worry, it’s not just heresay. She can block me on Discord, but I haven’t and still have our conversations. That’s the issue with block and run. You don’t get to do that.

So now come the explanation portion. I’ll tag the triggers accordingly since there are quite a few of them. I’m sorry if you’re uncomfortable with that. It’ll also be really long. I’d skim the first part, honestly. It’s graphic and frustrating to say the least.

So Majora and I were shipping. Everything was fine. Apparently, she had a problem with my muse, but she never told me to my face. I come up to her one day with an idea for an RP on Discord between us: one with a baby. She agreed as long as the baby wasn’t Mateus’ because he killed his children and felt uncomfortable having another one (more on the child death later).

So I got to work making the baby. In fact, I made a full on OC out of it just for fun. It was a girl named Rose made between Leon and a brothel girl who kind of tricked him into having the kid in the first place (it’s implied drugs may have been involved). She would have never told him about Rose if she hadn’t come down ill and eventually died. Of course, that left the baby to Leon, and he took responsibility for her, named her Rose, and brought her to Mateus to ask for his help.

Big mistake, apparently. Mateus became insanely jealous and furious, and Leon left the throne room hurt but still determined to care for the baby. Suddenly, the baby began crying because she was hungry. Leon carried her to the kitchen and set her on the counter while he searched for milk or something (he’s not good at taking care of young children without help). So far, so good.

What happened next happened with no warning and with no way to counter it. She had Mateus send an anaconda after the baby and eat her. That’s right: baby murder in one post, no way for Leon to hear it until it was too late or counter it as the baby was dead by the end of her post. It doesn’t help she used and anaconda and didn’t even write it well. It would have swallowed that baby whole while the child was still living, not killed her then ate her. Pythons don’t do that to rats, after all. If they’re small enough, a snake will just swallow it.

Fact checking aside, Leon was heartbroken and had a mental breakdown. I mean, wouldn’t you? He just lost his kid, and coupled with the PTSD of losing loved ones and not being there for them, he really took it hard. Unfortunately, Majora wanted none of that. She was rushing my muse’s grief along as if she has no idea what it’s like to lose a loved one. On top of that, I mentioned he might self harm. Keyword is might. She took this has him “carving himself like a Thanksgiving turkey” and said she was having less fun just for mentioning it. Because a dark knight grieving over his child and feeling responsible is a stupid reason to harm oneself. He should harm himself for the lols like Mateus.

So I make him OOC and rush him toward her muse just to get things over with (he would have eventually, anyways, so her point on him being passive is moot. He’d Liam Neeson a bitch). He found him in the secret graveyard where Mateus was grieving over the children he killed (told you it’d be back), and she then godmodded and nearly had her muse kill mine. Thankfully, the RP ended with Leon being let go, and that was that.

Oh, but she wasn’t done. Several days later, she comes to me blaming me for not telling her I was upset with the RP. In hindsight, I did, but it wasn’t an outright “stop doing this.” That’s on me. I apologize for that. But I can call Majora a hypocrite since she had issues with me she never approached me with until after the RP.

And then we fought. Rather than take you play by play, I’ll start to highlight what I tried to tell Majora during it and see if it fits. I’ll post some parts of the argument to help.

Anime Bowie - Last Tuesday at 4:36 PM It sucks the fun out of an RP when you resort to Leon wanting to cut himself to make me feel guilty OOC and try to make me change Mateus' actions, as I cannot simply just make his illness and himself OOC for your comfort. If you had an issue, you should've said something to me DIRECTLY rather than just be quiet. Stuff like that just pushes me away as an RP partner and shows  that you don't care enough about me or my muse.

I'm sorry, but I can't roleplay with someone who's too ""scared"" to communicate and resorts to LYING to other people about her partner. That makes you toxic, and not something I want in my life. It really makes me upset, Xixi. Really upset.(edited)

The “lie” was to her best friend. I told her what happened like I did here. Of course Majora didn’t like being seen in this light, so she claimed it was all a lie. She also constantly calls Leon OOC as you’ll soon see. It’s obvious she took the self harm out-of-context. It wasn’t to guilt her. It’s a coping mechanism. And yes, this does make her a hypocrite, forcing my muse and his illness to be OOC while claiming she can’t do the same for me.

Xixi - Last Tuesday at 9:23 PM Wanna check your wording yourself, Majora? You wrote it so the moment he turned around she was half down the snake's throat! Anime Bowie - Last Tuesday at 9:24 PM Even then, it takes a snake time to digest. Leon had more than enough time to cut it open and get her out. But no, I'm a bad guy for suggesting an easy solution to prevent that. Xixi - Last Tuesday at 9:25 PM Just listen to yourself! You're defeinding fictional baby murder! Anime Bowie - Last Tuesday at 9:26 PM HOW THE FUCK AM I DEFENDING IT I'M STATING HOW A SNAKE WORKS MAN HE HAD TIME HE CHOSE NOT TO USE IT SHE DIED BECAUSE HE NEGLECTED TO SAVE HER ITS NOT THAT HARD I DON'T GET OFF TO BABY MURDER MUCH LESS APPROVE OF IT

And here we go with another highlight. She defends her choices by blaming Leon being OOC for all of it. What made him OOC? Caring for his child. That’t right, Being a doting father is OOC now. Grief is OOC. Leon should be a wall of stone and stoicism with no emotions. Also, calling him a shitty father is not only a moot point (he’s not a babysitter), but also is deflecting the issue of her actually killing the child before swallowing. She even wrote the baby “stopped breathing” before the snake swallowed her. She was crying, so when she completely stops, Leon knew what happened. If she had written the snake correctly, he would have ripped its jaws open. But she didn’t. That’s on her, not me or Leon.

Xixi - Last Tuesday at 9:27 PM Finally unhidging it's jaw, it struck at her, the impact deadly on Rose as she was swallowed. DEAD IN ONE BITE THEN SWALLOWED WHERE IS LEON'S COUNTER Anime Bowie - Last Tuesday at 9:28 PM HEY XIXI YA KNOW HE COULD HAVE STILL GOTTEN HER OUT

That’s the direct quote from the RP. Still wanna debate the baby could be saved?

Anime Bowie - Last Tuesday at 9:30 PM NO THAT LEON WAS BRINGING HER IT'S NOT THAT HARD TO APPROACH MATEUS RATHER THAN LEAVE AND LEAvE HIM IN THE DARK Xixi - Last Tuesday at 9:30 PM WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU EVEN LEON DIDN'T KNOW HE HAD A KID UNTIL HE WAS CALLED AND GIVEN THE KID I SAID THAT IN THE RP MULTIPLE TIMES

Here’s a prime example of her saying Leon should have read Mateus’ mind. He should have just known how to approach her muse and give her what she wants. No responsibility for Mateus’ actions. It’s all Leon’s fault and by extension my fault.

Anime Bowie - Last Tuesday at 9:37 PM Well something needs to be done with her so Leon can explain it to Mateus That would make things smoother. inhales exhales Maybe, Leon could have been holding her and explained it to Mateus before calling him over. Let him have a moment to process. Would he be wary? Yes. But he wouldn't be like how he was. He is scared of having children, but Leon easing him into the idea and allowing him a moment to process it before showing him Rose? Yes, the RP would have gone smoother.

See what I mean? No responsibility for what he did. No responsibility for what she wrote. It’s all on my side. If Leon hadn’t been so forward like his character is known for being, she wouldn’t have killed the baby. If he had just forgotten what grief was and chased Mateus, she would have been happier.

It’s the root of all of this. Majora hates taking responsibility for her actions. She plays dark themes without realizing the consequences of them irl, she throws a tantrum when she doesn’t get her way, and she plays the victim when something goes against her favor. I may have my issues. I have mental illness and naivety irl. But I actually attempt to work through them personally and not rely on others to do it for me. When I did and was called out for it, I apologized and swore never to do it again. I’ve made good on this promise so far, and I have plenty of wonderful friends who love and support me.

Majora, on the other hand, used me as a crutch. Her blog was promoted heavily by me in her early days, and many of her followers came through me. She relied on my praise and sympathy a lot in Discord as well as others. When this went down, she not only block me but unfriended the entire FFII RPing group without notice, and not only did they have no idea what was going on, some of them considered her a friend. She burned bridges she really didn’t have to just to spite me.

I kind of feel like I created a monster of an ego in her. I regret that.

And now, she suddenly apes my muse and blocks me on that blog. For someone so heavy into communication, she sure didn’t talk to me about any of this. I normally would enjoy a second Leon blog, but she’s not even trying to act like this isn’t to get back at me somehow.

In the end, I feel bad for her. I hope she one day grows up. If you’re reading this, Majora, I don’t hold as much hate for you as you apparently hold for me. We can still talk. I haven’t blocked you.

TL;DR Majora burned me bad and made this blog out of petty revenge. I’ve had this blog for 5 years, so I don’t care about followers anymore. Unfollow if you think I’m wrong for this. I just want to point out how slimy this blog really is.

[imperialroseking]

//I once tried to push myself off a bridge but wasn’t strong enough. My dad made fun of me for weeks. I bet you each $20 I don’t have I could do it this time. Just donate it into my funding if I succeed. If I don’t, I go bankrupt. Deal?

[imperialroseking]

//Update: I’m -$10 and close to losing my bank account. I lost my newest job because i was in the hospital (seriously), and the only stable jobs I could get this season will be abusive in nature. Please donate or share if you could. Anything will help. ♥

[imperialroseking]

[imperialroseking]

//At least a few people still care. Not the ones causing me issues, but a few. Guess that means it’s hiatus time. I’ll be in other fandoms and on Discord if you need me. Doubt many will, though...

[imperialroseking]

//It’s funny. For all the crap I put up with irl, I’d hope my internet life would be easier, yet here I am, avoiding both Tumblr and Discord conversations like the plague. I doubt anyone will read this, but I’m sick of bottling all of this up.

Okay, so irl, I had a mental breakdown because I was nearly fired from work over the flu (despite them needing employees and me being there and consistently doing work, the gm at the time wanted to “look good”). Despite my mom calling the assistant managers and setting up medical leave while I was in the hospital, the gm fired me anyways, handing me termination papers an hour after I left the hospital. Best part: she was a temp manager training for a district manager position, so she gets to get away with stuff like that and overworking her staff, even making an assistant manager cry.

My mom is on vacation in California. Did I get invited? Hell no! My sister did, my brother did, but not me. I haven’t had a vacation in years and even missed one of my sisters’ weddings because my mom wouldn’t find a pet sitter. They’re just cats. They only need food. Our neighbor owns cats and can help, but nah, I missed a wedding.

And then my mom has the gall to say I need to go out more...

My dad is even worse. Due to my mom being gone, I need to take care of the house and everyone in it (mostly traded my mom for my dad, same difference otherwise). My dad won’t take me grocery shopping and did it on his own with my brother (they didn’t get half of what I wanted and even wrote down for the trip). Then, he decides to blame me for missing doctor’s appointments and job calls because I’m busy sleeping after trying to get my brother to work (he keeps his job despite always being late and arguing with his managers...) and dealing with cats in heat.

My sister cane once. My other hasn’t even called. No one else cares.

So you’d think with that shitty hand that I could just relax on the internet, RP, play games, and talk to friends. But even that is a joke. I won’t name names, but between the cliques on here, backstabbing, talking behind people’s backs, rumors, and even disrespect for my muse, I’m done. I’m fried. I want nothing more than to put this blog on indefinite hiatus and run to another fandom.

But I can’t. I know I can’t. You guys see me as a mascot for FFII, some sort of inspiration for lesser known characters, and someone to confide in. Hell, the amount of warmth I got when I returned to posting here was overwhelming. It sucks that I’m trapped in the hole I was stuck in years ago all over again.

I would put up another crowdfund thing, but no one ever pays attention to those unless the person is dying of stage 4 cancer. Someone who’s poor, is emotionally abused, and keeps getting laid off for bullshit reasons? Not a cent.

At least my meds work now. No thanks to my psychiatrist. The asshat even had the gall to get angry with me for going into the hospital and telling them he didn’t listen to me when I said my meds didn’t work. Yet he’s one of the only doctors who will accept my insurance.

Fuck my life. 

[imperialroseking]

// I made a GoFundMe page. Please check it out or share this link. ♥

[imperialroseking]

Serious PSA

//I quit my last job. Verbal and sexual harassment was slowly about to become physical. The guy who slapped my ass even made a gun motion at me. I think it’s fair to say my safety would have been compromised if I had stayed.

However, this means that I’m broke. Like >$5 broke. My phone was crushed by a car, I have an important doctor’s appointment on the 10th, and I still have to pay for food and medicine. On top of that, my bike is rusted, so I need a new one, and I have to pay for driving lessons, insurance, and cosmetology school in the future. And that’s all before I hit 26 and lose my dad’s insurance. Did I mention I was busted?

Now, any sane, loving family would help me through this tough time, but I don’t have one of those. My dad is already bitching about “his” money, and my mom won’t stand up to him about it until he starts screaming (he hasn’t yet). My siblings need their money, though my brother is pitching in some (I have the best little bro sometimes). Other than that, I’m stuck until I find a new job.

Should I start a crowdfunding thing? Would anyone pitch in to help me? I don’t need everything on that list. My doctor, food, and medicine come first, and my phone and bike come after that.The rest is further into the future, so it can wait. I just need help keeping myself stable until I can find another means of income.

[imperialroseking]

//Not 100% done, but close enough to promo. Have at it if you’re reading this. ♥

[imperialroseking]

//So...the reasons why I’ve been missing? Look below the cut. Also, if anyone can help me find a job with decent pay, even an idea for one, please tell me.

So, where has Xixi been? Short answer is on Discord, but the long answer deals with more personal problems. Yay...

I do like my new job. Don’t get me wrong. My managers are great, and a good portion of the employees are, too. Notice I didn’t say all, though. Yes, I’m having issues again, and once again, they’re not my fault. I want to think people think I’m a pushover and try to abuse my good nature, but when they realize I’m not taking their shit, they get angry.

First off, some of my coworkers are racist. I wish I was kidding. They pick on me constantly, and when they finally mocked me with a customer, I told the manager. She just happened to side with me on the issue because their comments were bad conduct. But it’s not their faults they got into trouble, no. It’s mine. Because I’m white and I overreacted. I shit you not, three girls started cursing at me and saying I had “white privilege.” Yes, the privilege to work at a fast food restaurant and put up with their bitching. Oh, the humanity.

Then, not long after, I got sexually assaulted by another employee. He kept hitting on me, slapped my ass at work, and even texted me demanding I suck his dick. Again, I wish this was a joke. Even worse, the manager I showed it to said she “didn’t work with him” so I’m not even sure anything was done about it.

I’m terrified of going back in there. I called off today due to broken glasses (which is true), but I’m thinking of calling off tomorrow, too. That’s a lot of harassment in a single shift (oh yeah, it all happened in one day and melted into the next). So I probably have to find a new job again.

Sadly, no jobs in my area are worth it. Most pay only minimum wage (Gamestop was an option for me), don’t give out hours (Target only gives 20 hours a week), or are inaccessible (Walmart is too far to bike there, and stores like Sally’s aren’t hiring). I have excellent people skills and can give out change from calculations in my head. I’ve been known to take orders and cash, make orders and change, and deliver them on my own during breakfast shifts. My only firing was due to discrimination. And with my knowledge in multiple subjects and good memory, I’m well equipped to sell anything.

But that begs the question: where do I go from here? What do I apply for next? And what will happen if my family keeps mooching off of me (did I mention that?)

I don’t know. Until I can sort this out, this blog is on a semi-hiatus.

I’m not sure who will read this, but if you do, thank you for coming this far with my complaining. ♥

[imperialroseking]

//Wow...quiet...

Anyways, since I can’t find a good stream program for Twitch and I still feel people might watch me play games, I downloaded Fraps. Let’s try the Youtube route and hope it works. ♥

[imperialroseking]

//But seriously, from the bottom of my heart, I can’t thank you guys enough for all the support and love last night and today. Things have really been rough for me lately, and last night, my mind went to a very dark place. It’s very hard to keep positive and happy sometimes, especially when life hits you hard.

I truly didn’t know I mattered so much to so many people. I love helping people, making new friends, and just chatting in general, so I never considered it powerful or unique. I was wrong. People have come forward saying all kinds of sweet things, some even saying I was a major reason they stayed at all (not all of this is on Tumblr). I literally turned red and melted in my seat each time someone said something. It brightened my night last night and my day today.

So once again, thank you all so much for sticking with me and considering me your friend and partner. I plan on doing this until either Leon gives up or I can’t handle it any longer. Don’t worry. Neither are likely in the near future. ♥

[imperialroseking]

Yo! I don't know you, and you don't know me, but apparently you've done a LOT to inspire a friend of mine! And they're a good friend, since they're getting people to cone send you positivity and stuff! So, make sure you hang onto that friend, and while I'm sure I don't need to tell you, treat them well. You don't find such nice people every day, but they are definitely the light that'll stop you getting swallowed up by the darkness of misery and sorrow when it comes knocking.

//My friends really are too good for me sometimes. Thank you for the kind comment, though! Feel free to come off anon and chat sometime! ♥

[imperialroseking]

//Goodnight, everyone. I hope you all have good nights and good lives to wake up to. ♥

[imperialroseking]

//New tag dump.